#like “this is you at your natural state” idk how to explain it

[professor-beaker]

(Warning: very long rant about growing up religious and aroace. Might delete this in an hour. Idk)

Dear mom and dad,

Do you remember when i was 14, and had my first kiss? You probably dont- for you, it was just another sunday. He was one of my only church friends, and he pulled me, alone, into one of the music rooms after sacrament meeting. You encouraged me to go with him, because you could read the signs i couldnt. He was very polite, but when we kissed and he grabbed my hand on the way out, it felt more wrong than anything id experienced before. I ran back to you, crying, and you walked me through rejecting him. You basically told me that i was just too young, that it would get better, but it certainly didnt feel that way at the time. Every time youve reminisced on it since, it was only to laugh at my expense. At my naievety.

I tried to take your words to heart. I tried to listen each time our church would preach about how essential families were and each time you told me how happy you two were. It didnt work.

Do you remember when i was 15, and i told you, mom, that adopting sounded way better than having biological kids? You got so offended, and i had no idea why. I still dont. You told me it was a natural part of life, that we were supposed to bring children into this world. I tried to explain my reasoning- why would i want my own children when there are those who are suffering on their own? When the thought of procreation made me sick?- but you dismissed it. It was just another day.

Do you remember the brief period when i was 15, when i dated a girl? I assume you dont, because you never found out. I lived in constant fear, because the comments you would make at the dinner table described lgbtq+ as an affront to God, as unnatural. I had thought that men were the problem, and she was my first real partner. But nothing changed, it still felt wrong, and we fell back into only being friends. I hadnt told you about that until today, because i knew exactly what youd say about it. I knew exactly what youd say about me.

Do you remember the boy i met when i was 16? The one with the curly hair and the kind smile. You were always pushing me toward him, because you saw how he looked at me (i saw, too- and i didnt like it). He took me to homecoming, and prom, and danced too close to me for my liking. You always asked if we were a thing yet- and when i said no, you smiled knowingly. I hated that smile. And you smiled that smile for years.

I reconnected with him when i was home over winter break. We hung out once, i told him my sexuality, and he barely reacted. When you asked how it went, i told you i rejected him romantically, but we were still friends. Do you remember what you said, mom? You said, "so you broke his heart and left." I cried that night.

Do you remember when you found my aroace pins a month ago? Im at college in a different state- a religious college you wanted me to go to- and you still made it your priority to berate me for it. I dont know if you could tell how angry i was over the phone, but when you said "asexual and things are just looking for attention", it broke my heart.

Because i figured it out when i was 17. Because it took me two years to finally accept it in a religion that very strongly emphasized the family unit. Because i finally felt accepted, i felt heard, i wasnt being dismissed at every corner. Because i had something to explain why i was like this.

Because i finally didnt feel broken.

I never doubted that you loved me- not once, ever, in my life. Not until you started degrading me for something i couldnt control. Not until you started pressuring me to date people i would much rather be friends with. If youre not going to love all of me, then do you even love me at all?

I hope you know that i still love you, despite everything. But i hate the way you talk to me now, the way you talk to others about me. And i hope that one day, you, too, will realize that im not broken, or affronting God, or unnatural. I hope you realize that im still your child.

I hope you realize im still human.

[aroaceleovaldez]

I HAVE BEEN REMINDED OF SOMETHING i think i've made a post about it before but maybe it's just sitting in my drafts. idk, whatever, I will ramble again. Said thing that reminded me was a tiktok by madison_murrah about how the PJO TV show doesn't get the balance between mundanity and magical correct for pjo and I want to expand on that cause while a.) it totally is a problem in the show and i take issue with it, b.) it is also a problem in later books and i ALSO take issue with that too and i would like to elaborate on it

this got long so ramble of the day below the cut:

so the thing is that PJO is actually pretty unique in it's approach to hidden world modern fantasy. like, hidden world modern fantasy is a decently established genre with a ton of examples, but there's a reason why PJO stands out so much, and that's because technically it's NOT "hidden world." There is very intentionally no distinction between the mundane world and the mythological, at least in first series. They 100% overlap. And you do not necessarily need to be "special" to see the "mythological world-" some mortals are totally naturally clear-sighted, a lot of kids are clear-sighted, and it's like 50/50 for if mortals can become clear-sighted. In fact, most demigods aren't immune to the effects of the Mist, all that really matters is if you're actually thinking about being able to see through it. And there's a reason for that!

In general, this format of the "hidden world" modern fantasy serves two purposes: One, as the series is meant to introduce people to Greek mythology and explain why it is relevant and how it can be relatable in modern contexts, it intentionally juxtaposes myths against modern concepts: Medusa runs an apparently average garden statue store. Procrustes runs a mattress store. The entrance to the Underworld is in LA at a record store. Circe lives on an island paradise that's secretly dangerous. Hydras are like chain donut stores that seem to pop up on every corner. Perseus and his mother struggle in Perseus' childhood but get a happy ending. Calypso has an island paradise where the challenge for the hero of our story is being tempted to leave behind his goals. The plot of Sea of Monsters is blatantly the Odyssey, and it's about Percy trying to get to his best friend (who he shares a literal psychic link to) who is in danger of getting married to someone awful (a literal monster) to help you understand Odysseus trying to get back to Penelope and how important to each other and in sync they are. Battle of the Labyrinth is Theseus and the Labyrinth and it's Percy/Theseus trying to protect his home and his people and fellow kids (like Nico) from the dangers in the maze. These are all supposed to help us understand what is actually going on in those stories.

We also still see how Greek mythology influence shapes and influences western culture in general in their world (which is supposed to be our own and so uses real-world examples) - in government, in architecture, in pop culture - Mythomagic is clearly supposed to be your standard TCG like Magic The Gathering. And in general there is no distinction between where the mythological ends and mundane begins - Camp Half-Blood is both a magical training space for demigods and your run of the mill underfunded summer camp, complete with cheesy camp songs and t-shirts and crafts. Olympus is located on top of the Empire State Building which is operating completely as normal except for when a demigod asks to go to a non-existent floor. Your best friend with a muscular disease in his legs is secretly a satyr. Your brother with down syndrome is a cyclops. Your teacher in a wheelchair is secretly an immortal centaur. Your crappy algebra substitute is a literal fury. But also they're still your teachers. The satyr is still your best friend, the cyclops is still your brother. And that brings me to the second aspect of all of this (which i have talked about before [here] and [here]) - the other purpose it serves is that it is an extension of the overarching disability themes that form the core of the series.

The entire reason that meshing of mundanity and magical is so intertwined is entirely because it's part of the disability metaphor, specifically inspired by early 2000s parenting/teaching concepts for children with disabilities, particularly learning disabilities, as trying to reframe disabilities as "superpowers" to empower kids (and still exists in some more modern forms - like referring to disabilities as "being differently-abled") (I talk about it in my previous post on the subject but this generally fell out of favor due to many kids/students finding it belittling of their struggles) - this is why we get the description of ADHD and Dyslexia being framed as "demigod superpowers." In the series this structure is intentionally made to encourage kids to reframe how they view disabilities in general as not something negative but something interesting and fantastical that they may be more open to engage with - and PJO does this in a really nice way where a lot of the disability struggles are still acknowledged and treated sympathetically. Kids still get bullied, Percy and Annabeth struggle in school or with reading/spelling, they grapple with both internal and external ableism. The entire reason for the titan war in the first series, at least from the demigod perspective, is criticizing flawed systems meant to support disabled people that don't do their job effectively or let too many people fall through the cracks. The Mist "hiding" the "mythological world" from mortals (and even some demigods) is about how most abled people (and some undiagnosed people) don't recognize disability struggles until it affects them personally. None of these things are glossed over! It's handled with nuance and care! The series says "you can be disabled and you can be like these fantastical heroes - not in spite of your disability, but alongside it. Neither negates the other." The series was explicitly made so Rick's disabled son could see himself in a hero and learn about mythology for school. Those are the two pillars of the entire franchise: Disability and learning about mythology.

So, when you mess with that "hidden world" structure, the entire thing falls apart and it immediately doesn't feel right, because it's no longer serving either of those two purposes when it needs to be fulfilling both. Late-series Riordanverse has a tendency to compartmentalize the mythological and keep it entirely sectioned off from the mundane. Think about first series and even TKC versus later series - how many mortal characters are there? what do they do? are they just in the background or do they interact with the main cast frequently? are they more than just family or an extension to the main cast? First series we see Percy's classmates frequently, Percy talks about his mundane experiences at school, multiple mortal parent characters (and other mortal characters like Rachel) are active participants in and vital to the plot. We even see a lot of background mortal characters. In TKC, not only are all the magicians technically mortal, but also Sadie's completely mundane best friends help her out. Now think about HoO, or ToA, or even MCGA. Think about the mortal characters in those series. How important are they? Out of the important ones, how much are they in mundane situations versus being almost entirely involved in something mythological? How many aren't related to any of the main cast? How many aren't actively working for a god? The answer is basically zero! Why is that? Because Rick stopped letting the mundane exist. The entire draw of the main series is that Percy does continue to live this mundane life and that adds to his mythological life and makes the balance and meshing between them interesting, but basically all mundanity ceases to exist by HoO. Camp Jupiter is an isolated entirely magic town. Percy and Jason's schools are full of mythological beings as basically the only people they interact with. The Tri's headquarters is an entire giant building in New York City that they completely control that just so happens to ALSO be directly across the street from the local Oracle's house, because even where Rachel lives isn't allowed to be mundane anymore. Why is Olympus just at the top of the Empire State Building versus the Tri having an ENTIRE building? That feels weird and unbalanced, particularly given the difference in importance between those two! Because one is playing into that balance of the meshing of mundane and magical and the other isn't! The show continues this trend. It doesn't allow any of the mythological to exist within mundanity like it functions in the books, which creates a completely different atmosphere and doesn't allow those spaces or scenes or characters to serve their actual narrative purposes, either making it easier to understand mythology contextually or what disability metaphor or representation is occurring there.

It's part of the problem with show!Percy being too mythologically-savvy - Percy is supposed to be the mundane lens unfamiliar with mythology that the audience is learning by proxy through. That's the entire point of the series! If you have Percy already know everything because he's already too ingrained into this mythological environment from the start, and he just exists in this entirely magical world where he understands everything immediately then the literal target audience of the entire franchise (students being introduced to mythology) is left behind! That's part of why the pacing of the show feels so bad! It's rushing through every scene that's more or less the same as the books, particularly anything mythological, because the show is assuming you've already read the books and already know enough mythology to know what it is and what happens and that you don't want to see it again, so it rushes through. The show doesn't explain things that it presumes you already know - worldbuilding, character decisions, basically any mythology, etc, so it doesn't even bother with it.

Later books in the franchise do this too - as long as it's tangentially Greco-Roman mythology, or if it's anything to do with the main series like a reference in TKC or MCGA or etc, it's not going to elaborate much if at all. HoO speeds through Jason's introduction to CHB, and the only reason we get much introduction to Camp Jupiter is because it's actually new. We're no longer trying to contextualize or learn about mythology, it just all becomes set-dressing and references thrown at you rapid-fire as filler. By late HoO and into TOA and TSATS and such, we're not longer even within the realm of pretending like we're adhering to mythology at all. Why is Iris a vegan? Why is Rhea a hippie? Dunno, don't care! Literally doesn't matter! Why are the pandai panda/elephant-monsters and the troglodytes frog-monsters when that's not part of their actual history at all? Well a.) literally just word associations and b.) possibly a little bit of racism (they're supposed to be humans from India and northern Africa, and you made them monsters. cool. okay. and their plotlines totally aren't horrible within those contexts. awesome. please try thinking literally at all next time, thanks). We're not even bothering to look at mythological instances anymore for a basis, a lot of it's written like we're just going based on the first results on google (hi Menoetes and the cacodaemons - the latter of which is not even spelt correctly once in the entire book - which is weird because they do say "daemon" so they know the word. Not that the cacodaemons are mythologically accurate at all because then they would be humanoid. Instead they seem to just be inspired by the things from Doom). None of it serves the purpose of the narrative at all; we're literally just making random choices, some of them quite distasteful! In large part due to refusing to acknowledge the actual contexts of the myths and how that might translate into something similar or equivalent a modern setting to help conceptualize it - something the first series did inherently by design. And we need this! A.) So that you're less likely to make bad decisions because you are inherently thinking about the historical and cultural contexts of these things and how to compare/explain it, and b.) because the audience for later books/the other series and the show is going to be the same as the first series! Those nonsensical references may be at best cameos to people who are already familiar with them, but if your intended audience is new to mythology then making references like that is just going to leave people out of the loop! You don't shift your target audience in the middle of a franchise!

Later books in the series and the show are failing to understand what the first series was actually doing narratively and how it was approaching these subjects and its audience. When you fail to do that, it completely messes up the general worldbuilding and the core themes and intentions of the franchise as a whole. Once you lose touch with that you might as well just be writing a completely different franchise. You need to approach it from the same lens or else it will feel completely off, because otherwise you've lost all base touchstones that make the series what it is.

[writingescapades]

Blessed

A/N: Long post. Basically me daydreaming the Forgotten Sea Myth. Just trying to connect things in the story and other myths together. I know Rafayel and the player met as kids, but I don't know how that story connects to this myth, and the myth never alludes to meeting before. IDK, things are not accurate for sure.

You should have died when you fell into the sea, but somehow you survived. Probably because of the man, the Lemurian, who currently stood before you. His face displayed obvious disinterest, yet here you were, alive by his whim. He asked why he should spare your life. You were intended to be the sacrifice. So you lunged at him, selfishly kissing him because you were desperate to live.

You didn’t understand the consequences of your action. The action of affection for humans meant much more for Lemurians. You just wanted to live, but for Rafayel, his bond began. He should have cursed you for stealing his lips, taking his heart, before he could give it to you. But now the emotions filled him, and his senses were heightened. He didn’t know you. Didn’t want you, but now you were stuck together. So he introduced you as the chosen one for the rite and tried to ignore the look in Amund’s face. The elder somehow knew what had happened, and he wondered if the young god’s heart could bear the sacrifice he was offering up.

“A god must always protect his followers,” Rafayel firmly stated.

“They too must be a willing follower, young one”.

The ceremony was months away. In the meantime, Rafayel kept you nearby. Initially he seemed to ignore you, even fall asleep as you looked about your new world with curiosity. Your discoveries were mundane after centuries of being alive. Yet if you ever wandered away, you would always find yourself bumping into him. And while he valued silence, Rafayel found himself more irritated in not knowing the thoughts that swirled around in your head. A strained closeness formed. Rafayel encouraged your curiosity and discoveries. But everything he did was to prepare you for the role you were to play in his ascent to full godhood. He didn’t really know you, didn’t want to know you. Life soon began to feel like a prison. You wanted the warmth of the sun and the sand. You wanted the taste of fruits. You wanted to hear more than the ocean depths. Above all, you wanted to feel cherished. Naturally, Rafayel objected to letting you go.

“What could Lemuria possibly lack?”

It lacked many things, namely that it wasn’t ever meant to be a home for humans. How could he expect you to live here forever? Everyday the sea bit into your soul.

“A god with a heart,” you muttered in frustration.

Your words must have hit home for the deity took a step back and looked genuinely distressed. It was odd, and though you wanted to stand your ground, the unexpected reaction made you reach out to him. It was the first time you touched him. A light hand on his shoulder. A hand you expected him to shrug off. Instead Rafayel crumbled into you, almost leaning his entire weight into your hand. His eyes closed and he sharply inhaled. You thought to apologize, maybe explain your emotions better, but before you could, the sea god’s cold blue eyes snapped open and he jerked away from you, stagging off and slammed the door behind him. You were left to stare into the abyss.

You were duty bound to be his follower, but it wasn’t enough. Rafayel knew it wasn’t enough as he read though every slab the library had on Lemurian gods. Your heart had to be in it. At least, that’s why Elder Amund had warned. It seemed to him that the elder always judged Rafayel for not being like his predecessors. They had followers. They had the hearts of the Lemurians and their human counterpart. Rafayel merely had the respect intuitively given to every deity and he detested it, especially when it came from you. Ever since that night, he knew he was doomed to crave more from you. Initially, he thought your act would benefit him. Surely you would be more willing to give your heart and be his follower if you were bonded, right? Instead, he found you languishing like the algae that grew on rocks along the shore. It hurt. His heart screamed at him to do something, anything.

“Followers are gained, not assigned,” Amund’s voice echoed as the elder ghosted past Rafayel into whatever new study took his fancy.

……

Rafayel started down at you, arms crossed and foot tapping, as he waited your answer.

“You’re granting me my freedom?”

The deity’s eyebrows scrunched as he contemplated your question. Then he took a deep breath and repeated his offer.

“One day in the human world. Just the one”.

“And what do you want in return,” you cautiously asked. There was no such thing as a free gift from the gods.

Rafayel pointed at your chest, where your heart pulsed.

Indignation washed over you. One lousy day on land, and he expected you to fork over your heart?! To be so devoted to him, for one day?

“Is that not what you want? To be around the same humans who were ready to sacrifice you?”

By now you were accustomed to the deity’s mockery and barbed tongue. So you met his eyes and challenged the offer.

“You want my heart that bad? Then earn it. That’s my wish”.

For the first time you saw Rafayel’s eyes glimmer as he took in your challenge.

“Easy”.

“You sure?” you asked. “I don’t give my heart away so easily”.

“Good,” the god’s voice spoke softly as a tender look came onto his face.

It was the first time he expressed such an emotion to you. You expected Rafayel to go into full bravados with his attempts at winning your heart. Instead, the deity took you by surprise. He quietened down. Days spent watching Lemurians go about their day. Nights spent watching marine life quietly drift by. He taught you his language. Told you how to name and call out to each species. You could see genuine praise in his eyes when you remembered their names. But it wasn’t just his world that opened up. Rafayel’s curiosity was insatiable. He wanted to see the world through your eyes. To see the beauty you held in your eyes and mimic the songs you heard. He frequently brought you to a small room filled with paintings and tried to recreate your world from your words, surprising you with his accuracy, as if he’s already seen your world. It was inevitable for you to enjoy his company, and though he wouldn’t admit it, the sea god relished in experiencing his first friend. But, you wouldn’t give him your heart.

Time passed, and it seemed that the two of you forgot the original challenge. Ease and general camaraderie replaced roles and expectations. Excitement rose in you when you saw his familiar face and you knew from the twinkle in his eyes, he felt the same. Many times he would break off a conversation with someone to watch you walk by. Only after you disappeared from sight would the Rafayel turn his attention back to his follower. Often, he would consult with you, bouncing off quandaries he faced and genuinely seeking your advice. You started to feel strange. You weren’t sure if Rafayel considered you a friend. Neither one of you even called each other by name. Rafayel wanted you to be his follower, but you weren’t sure anymore what he meant by that. He clearly did not engage with the other Lemurians as he did with you. On sleepless nights, you would ask yourself if you considered yourself the sea god’s follower. Would you follow him wherever he went? Would you endure what he endured, if only, so that he was not alone? Was he always in your thoughts? Did you act in his name? Were you devoted to him? You could never really answer these questions. They were too weighty for the emotions that sprouted within you. But, as the months wore on and the emotions within you began to grow, you came to one undeniable truth.

Elder Amund pronounced the upcoming ceremony. Within a fortnight, Rafayel would ascend to full godhood and the Lemurians would gain another chapter in their history as the new dawn started. Rafayel always knew this day would come, but for the first time, he felt giddy, unsure. He knew you were the reason, but he still had not gathered the courage to ask you the imminent question. No, that wasn’t the whole truth. Rather, Rafayel realized, the question had long changed, and your answer would determine the challenge. Rafayel had not gone a single day without thinking about the challenge. It would determine everything. He frequently basked in your presence these days, always toying with the question he wanted to ask.

“Tomorrow’s the ceremony,” your voice gently broke through the empty corridor.

You both were staring at the temple doors that would lead to the ceremony.

“What will happen during the ceremony?”

“We will be serenaded by the entire ocean. Our chariot will be drawn by marine creatures as we tour around, greeting our followers”.

You scoffed at Rafayel’s obvious lie.

“Not sure I like the idea of being made a spectacle,”

“You’re right. It’s too ornate. I don’t really know the details of the ceremony”.

His response seemed in line to your question, but you could tell Rafayel’s thoughts were elsewhere tonight.

“Would you like to retire early tonight?”

“No”. Rafayel got off the balcony rail and turned towards you. “We can sleep when it’s all over”.

He continued to stare at you, and you waited for him to ask what was clearly consuming him. Ever so gently, Rafayel reached out a hand and placed it on your head. You looked at him, confused. With more confidence, his hand descended down your face to cup your cheek, and though you leaned into his palm, you tensed.

“I have a question for you,” his voice was low. “Tis a very important one. Are you willing to be my follower?”.

It was different this time. Last time it was the sea god who spoke to you. It was the sea god who pointed to your heart and expected you to all but rip it out. But now, all you could see was Rafayel, and you knew there was more contained in that one word, that one request.

“That’s a heavy request. What does the sea god offer in return?”

You raised your hand but began to lower it as the courage slipped away. Rafayel caught it and continued the ascent to his heart. You could feel it steadily pumping against his cool skin.

“And,” you continued, “What does Rafayel offer?”

You watched as Rafayel’s hands entwined with yours, resting the back of your hand against his heart. Then he lowered his head to kiss your knuckles.

When Rafayel looked up, he saw your free hand outstretched towards him. He placed his hand on yours, and watched as you brought his hand to your heart.

“I will be your follower, O Sea God”.

He could feel the strong beat of your heart to know you were not lying, not hiding anything from him.

“And what does ___ offer?”

Now it was his turn to feel your fingers lace within his.

“My love”.

For the first time, you stood as equals, both relishing the new emotions and path you managed to create. It was well past sunrise when you finally parted, and when the hour of the ceremony arrived, there was new depth to the spoken words that formally bound the two of you together. With the last ritual pending, Rafayel began to anticipate his new life with you. He would take you to the surface. You would bask under the sun and share new experiences. For the first time, Rafayel would have a partner to share life with. Excited for the future, Rafayel turned to Elder Amund, only to freeze. Elder Amund had placed a dagger in the sea god’s hands.

“The rite will be complete when it has the sea’s blessings. You must obtain their heart”.

Rafayel’s eyes widened at the realization of what he had to do. Then he snapped his head towards you. You were stock still, staring at his hands, at the dagger. He could see your jaw and hands were clenched.

“Is this a joke, Elder Amund?”

“I’m afraid not, young one. It must be done, and it can only be done by your hands”.

“No! I refuse!”

“You do not have a say in this rite”.

“It’s my rite!” Rafayel shouted, hands tightly gripping the dagger. He glanced once at you and his voice wavered. “I can’t kill them. They are half my heart”.

Amund’s eyes were downcast as he spoke quietly but firmly. “I did ask you if you were sure this was to be your selection for the rite, and I put my faith in you as our god that you knew what you were doing. That you had our, Lemuria’s, best interests at heart”.

Now Elder Amund rose to observe Rafayel, and the sea god realized that his devotee was watching at him, awaiting providence. Rafayel dejectedly turned towards you, but you had not changed your pose during the argument. When the reality of what was about to happen hit you, you vanished within yourself as your mind screamed at you. All you could hear was Rafayel’s mocking tone to your challenge, Easy. Easy. EasyEasyEasyEasy. EASY! What a fool you were. An utter fool of fools. You wanted to lash out at him! Stab him before he could hurt you! But when you finally registered his face, love and anger both surged forward for Rafayel was in complete anguish.

He was cowering. The sea god was cowering in front of you, unsure of himself for the first time. His eyes begged a word from you. An order to take away the responsibility. Your eyes turned cold as the malice slipped in and a smirk appeared on your lips. You could wait. Stand there forever, refusing to ease the burden off the deity’s shoulders as he sank closer and closer to the floor. Then you could reach for the dagger and end him. But as Rafayel sank, you saw that he still held the dagger firmly in his hands and the smirk slowly slipped off your face as your eyes observed Rafayel steeling himself for the task.

Oh cruel deity. My heartless one. What a mess we’ve made.

Hands gently pressed under Rafayel’s arms, urging him back up to your face.

“You are a god. You cannot hide in the face of adversity,” you bitterly admonished.

“I can’t!” he protested.

You bit down your anger as you brought the dagger up to your heart, holding Rafayel’s wrist firmly.

“You are a god. You were never provided with a choice”.

“How can you be so calm? Aren’t you upset? Don’t you value your life? What’s wrong with you??”

A shudder ran down you at the last accusation. Indeed, what was wrong with you?

“Doesn’t matter which world, I was made a sacrifice,” you bitterly spat, “But what’s pathetic is that I am still willing to give you my heart because I am your follower”.

At this the tears finally began to flow down your cheeks and you allowed Rafayel to wipe them with his thumbs.

“Don’t you hate me?” he whispered hoarsely.

“Oh yes. I hate you. I hate you so much,” you spoke with a shine in your eyes and the sea god knew it was the truth.

“Then why?” he began, but your interrupted him. “Because I love you”.

Rafayel leaned into your shoulder and cried, but you knew now that his heart could bear the pain.

You leaned into his ear to whisper.

“I still hate you. You will regret breaking my trust. But I love you more, so my heart was always yours to take”.

With those final words you gently kissed Rafayel’s cheek and guided his hand to your heart for the last time.

Amund watched as the sea god held the pure flame in his hand. There was nothing he could say, and given the situation, he knew it would be best to stay silent under the deity sought him out again. Rafayel heard the elder leave the temple, but he kept staring at the flame in his hand. Fish are emissaries of the sea. If your wish is blessed by the ocean, a fish will appear. He remembered telling you that one night. There was no fish now. Perhaps because the sea god lost the right to give blessings after destroying his own.

[sminiac]

hi!! can i request bf!hunter like the ones you did with the other members? thank you so much if you do 🥰

💌 — You’re so sweet, I’m so sorry this took me so long, hopefully it meets a few expectations :,) Also this is the last member for my Bf!Xikers, isn’t that crazy?

Though Bf!Hunter’s exterior can be difficult to navigate your way around without knowing him first, because of how he’s truly such a soft, gentle being the crush to lover process is so enjoyable in every aspect. If you’re more on the introverted side he does his best in helping you toe that seemingly daunting line outside of your comfort zone, even if it’s by just a little, he’s so incredibly proud. The type to learn and pay attention to your boundaries and habits, how much you can and can’t handle and when. Just knows how to take care of a socially anxious partner because he’s so observant, so curious about the way your brain works which makes for a lot of long conversations about why you are the way you are, loves listening to you, because it means by the end of it he’ll be able to say that he knows you even better. He’s always so supportive if you manage to do something you find a little scary, or even not, “You don’t have to babe, I won’t be upset, promise.” Ugh he’s so.

Ex: Always so considerate of your state of mind, your social batteries running exceptionally low and you’re becoming a little too overstimulated by your surroundings and the boys? No worries, he’s already letting everyone know that the two of you are done for the night without over explaining why. The type to never be upset if the two of you end up leaving functions earlier than he anticipated, just wants to make sure you’re enjoying yourself and that you’re comfortable, loves how clingy you become when exhausted. Idk but he’s really built and tall right? Would be nice to be wrapped up in him after being out.

Bf!Hunter who would naturally be so protective and assertive for your sake, he’s so “Y/n doesn’t like that.” whenever the boys are pressing a little too hard about you trying something, or doing something new that can be a little irritating to the senses. The thing about it though is that he wouldn’t be mean about it either which is so whdhajsh!!! like he’d say it so politely but the firmness to his words doesn’t lessen by any.

Ex: This also makes me think of him having a habit of judging new foods based off of you taste without being asked to, he’s just so: “Mm, no, babe you wouldn’t like that,” and is quickly pointing out something else you’d like instead, he’d be so accurate with it too.

Bf!Hunter who would make you copy what he’s saying in a language you don’t speak fluently solely so he could feed into his own delusions before he knew that you liked him back. He’d be giggling so much, hands zipping up to cover his face from your sight, and he’d always refuse to tell you exactly what you said. With this, when the two of you are finally together he’d either mutter small compliments under his breath or with his whole chest in front of your face, and still, he’d never tell you what he’s saying.

Bf!Hunter who never fails to have the cutest, most visible pout whenever you’ve got any kind of lip product on because he doesn’t want to make you keep reapplying it over and over again. The same with skincare/face makeup, doesn’t want to ruin it but god does he want to kiss you so bad :( I think to compensate he’d just like to have his face as close to yours as possible without making a movement that would cause any disturbance to whatever you have on in the moment, settling for quick pecks to your neck, jaw, the back of your hand, your hair.

Ex: Has developed a habit of looking at your lips before he kisses you, sometimes he’ll notice you have something on and continues to kiss you anyways, pulling away with his pretty smile on display and a: “Thank you baby.”

Bf!Hunter who would somehow always find a way to get along with your siblings no matter what their age is, would put in so much effort to build a relationship with them and maintain it even when he’s away by returning with gifts and stories :(

Bf!Hunter who certainly has a habit of always ending up crushing you in the middle of the night because he loves being as close to you as possible when sleeping, but that means his limbs always find ways to be rested over top of you, whines out complaints whilst half asleep when you attempt to shift him off of you, and only falls back asleep if you’re the one making contact with him.

Ex: Scratching his head, rubbing his back, holding his hand, even just a hand on his face is enough, just needs some sort of contact with you 😞 despite adjusting him inevitably you’ll wake up with him clinging to you, arms wrapped significantly tight around you, face buried in your neck :(

Bf!Hunter who adores you so much that his love languages couldn’t possibly be wrapped up into just one.

Words of affirmation? He’s definitely very articulate when it comes to expressing his feelings with you, and he doesn’t like being hasty about it, so if you’re ever having any sudden thoughts or concerns he’s quick to walk away from whatever’s keeping him busy if he can to help make sense of the situation you’re struggling with.

Acts of service? Yes! I think he’s the type to purposely go out of his way to clear things off of your to-do list that are starting to pile up to the point of overwhelming you, reassures you that he wanted to, even grabs you a little treat so that you can’t possibly be upset about him doing something that you swore you would get to by yourself.

Gift giving? He’s horrible for it, when it comes to buying something for you the price of the item couldn’t be further from concern, it’s absurd. The type of boyfriend that any other boyfriend couldn’t compete with when it comes to gifts, takes pride in it too.

Quality time? Loves going on the most random dates with you when he has the opportunity, it will be a random Tuesday morning and he’s just like “Babe do you want to go feed some deer with me later?” He’d also spend time searching for good places to eat whether it’s from a mutual friend, family or a random website, loves making little hole in the wall restaurants your spot.

Physical touch? Everything about him screams that he loves teasing, playing footsies under the table with him, purposely stepping on the back of your shoe when he’s walking behind you, holding things above your head that the tips of your fingers merely skim over yet he doesn’t want to let go of your other hand for the life of him. Definitely has a habit of slipping his hand into the back pocket of your jeans when walking together, or having your arm looped through his, loves having you all over him, especially in public.

Bf!Hunter who is so… Boyfriend??? Like there’s no other way to possibly explain it.

[ririban]

I really cannot fully explain just how much The Case Files of Jeweler Richard means to me. I will never not be grateful about having come across it when I did. Like, I’m from India, and India isn’t the best place to actually be exposed to what being queer means. For the longest time I didn’t even know that the acronym went beyond the letter T. The word aromantic meant nothing to me because it wasn’t a word I knew. All I knew was that when my friends were getting crushes and dating, I was desperately trying to find new excuses for why I didn’t have anyone I was interested in. Because “I don’t want to be in a relationship” was an answer that earned me strange looks.

I did eventually learn that something called aromanticism exists by the time I went to college, but I never really bothered to learn what that entailed. Then I met a friend who happened to be asexual, and she pointed out that based on what I told her, I might be aroace. And I thought about it for a while, but wasn’t really convinced. More importantly, the idea of sticking a label to myself kinda scared me because it felt like it was something irreversible.

And then Jeweler Richard happened. I really enjoyed the first episode, even shed a couple of tears. The inclusion of a canon lesbian character in the second episode was a pleasant surprise (I did not know about Tatsuki back then. Present day me is annoyed we never got to see her in the anime). But it went from an anime I simply enjoyed to a story I absolutely fell in love with in episode 8: The Angel's Aquamarine. This was the episode in which we first found out about Tanimoto’s views on romance, and I found myself understanding where she was coming from. Online people were discussing how she came off as aromantic, and that made me think again. But, again, “sticking” that label to me wasn’t something I was comfortable with.

That changed when I came across a certain passage in volume 6. For those of you who haven’t read the novel yet and are okay with spoilers, Tanimoto visits Étranger after being invited by Seigi. There she has a conversation with Richard, during which he tells her this:

“Humans are creatures that can only recognize the present moment as reality. But that present changes, moment by moment. For example, someone who was bisexual in their twenties might decide to identify as heterosexual in their thirties. Or someone who considered themself heterosexual at age seventeen might realize that they’re gay at age twenty-five. Someone who may have considered themself polyamorous and open to relationships with anyone might feel as though they’ve met their soulmate at age fifty-five and become monogamous. Of course, this isn’t true of everyone—but from a statistical perspective, changes of this nature aren’t at all unusual. It’s just like how, if left to their own devices, our hair and nails will continue to grow.”

The reason I was scared of declaring myself as aro was because I worried that it was something I’d never be able to take back. That becoming aro to the people around me wouldn’t allow me to one day say, “no, I don’t think I actually am aromantic”. I would’ve rather stayed in a state of being confused than make a decision I couldn’t undo. But then Richard told Tanimoto that it’s fine. It’s fine to change your mind later on. That a label isn’t fixed to you, and isn’t something you have to carry throughout your life if it’s something you no longer identify with. And idk if I can even begin to explain how important that was to me. Because those were the words I needed.

It’s okay that I’m not interested in being in a relationship. It’s okay if I call myself aro. It’s okay for me to no longer make up excuses because a simple “I’m not interested in dating” is enough. This is a comparison that only Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint fans will get, but The Case Files of Jeweler Richard is to me what Three Ways to Survive the Apocalypse is to Kim Dokja. JR did not save my life in the way that TWSA did for Kim Dokja, but it had a bigger impact on my life than any other story. I’d like to believe that the love I have for JR is similar to the love Dokja holds for TWSA.

As a final point, this confidence in myself and my identity isn’t all that JR gave me. Another important thing that happened in my life thanks to it is that I made many lovely friends in the fandom 💕

[blommp717]

could you maybe explain the whole "dropping the desire" thing a bit more closely? cus idk but whenever i hear people saying to drop the desire, it makes me feel like i have to give up everything i "want" and accept this shitty life i have. like i just don't understand. what do i even do when i have nothing to "manifest"? when i have desires, i can tell myself that everything's okay because im gonna be outta here soon (and living my best life having all my desires) but with nd, i don't quite get what the "end goal" is. hope this doesn't sound stupid, it's just that i've been in the manifestation community since 2016 now, having desires every single day and looking forward to finally manifesting them (which never happened btw), so suddenly just dropping them feels so strange to me. it's already so late where i live and i'm tired so this probably doesn't make a lot of sense, but i still hope you can tell what i'm trying to ask😵‍💫

Hello there 🫶☀️🪷 don’t ever feel bad for

Alrighty I can feel that this is gonna be a longer answer so I hope you’re ready.

Firstly, believe me or not but I know exactly what you’re going through, I’m sure allot of people do.

So firstly let’s this out of the way, why do I keep saying there is no manifestation? To understand that, we also have to understand ND. Let’s break it down first from what ND is and what it states, then you’ll automatically get the answer to why manifesting is not real and the reality of the situation is 100x better in my opinion.

Nonduality is the understanding that there is, well, no duality, no separation in any of “this”. Everything is included in this, thoughts, ideas, the world, people, feelings, events, food, cars, money, desire, you, sense of self, all of it. All of existence is just one, all the same. And this is what you are, dissolving labels and everything, we can realize there is no point where you end and the entire universe begins. Without labels, nothing is named, nothing is decided as yes or no or good or bad, it all just is, a nameless is-ness. You are this infinite presence, nameless, timeless, formless, appearing as everything. No-thing appearing as something. A hollow appearance at that but regardless, an appearance.

And if you are everything, if it’s all just one, and this is what we are, then everything is just what we appear as. So the realization of “$100” is the experience of it. There is nothing to do, there is nothing to achieve because it’s all you and the realization or awareness of this idea is the experience. It doesn’t matter how you feel so you can cry, get mad and do whatever you want because it doesn’t change the nature of what you are, this “ “ nameless thing you are remains untouched. There’s no worrying about the what ifs or time delays because again, this is what you appear as by realizing it.

You say your “manifestation” never happened, and I think it’s time to be clear with yourself (as I have done this many times before). Are you affirming and visualizing to change or get something, or as a means to remind yourself of what is yours. And affirmation does not get you anything, it’s what it means to you in terms of identity that matters.

I could look at a rock and rub it 3 times, and because to me it means I’m going to get a free coffee, it’s instantly true.

You can make anything mean you have what you want, you don’t just make the rules your are the rules. This whole idea of dropping is also just a way for people to not worry about their desire. Personally I do what I want. I’m everything, If I feel like thinking about it cus it makes me happy I will, but if I’m thinking about it in a “I need to affirm to get this” kind of way, ima just stop, remember that this is not a technique but a reminder of what naturally we exist as.

You never have to give up on what you like because this life is meant to be cherished and enjoyed.

There’s no reason to live a life that makes you unhappy, your literally god, god is all, you are everything. You. Got. This. Don’t make it a process, don’t make it a journey, and most definitely don’t thing ND is a technique to manifest. There is no manifesting, only being, so this isn’t something you turn off and on. I hope this helped, I myself have been pretty sleepy so I hope this made sense 😭🤭🫶☀️🪷🌚🌝

[hopesangelsprite]

Just A Thought

⚠️ DARK CONTENT AHEAD ⚠️

NO MINORS/AGELESS ACCOUNTS

Warnings: manipulation, fake violence, mentions of blood and murder, obsession, fake sympathy, cnc, dubcon, knifeplay, primal play (ish idk), dacryphilia, hair pulling, spanking, creampie

Thinking about going camping with friends, all of you needing a break from the hustle and bustle of daily life. So, you each pack up a few tents and duffels for week in the forest, intent on leaving the agonizing flow of scrolling and deadlines to get in touch with the earth and each other.

It doesn't take long for you to reach the edge of the city, driving past the tower buildings and stop signs. You listen to one of the friends' advice not to choose a state park. "It's not natural enough, too many influencers going out for a quick post.", he complains having grown up outside the city and its illusions. So, you drive farther and farther until the twinkle of city lights are outshined by stars. It's beautiful; beautiful enough to distract you from the sinister energy radiating off him in waves.

Tent set up takes about an hour, each one having its own hiccups along the way. By the time everything's setup and settled, it's pitch black and the temperature's steady dropping. Somehow, you and that friend from earlier are paired to go retrieve firewood.

As you venture deeper into the woods, the air between you two is comfortable. He cracks a few jokes, always one to be goofy and spontaneous. Wood gathering doesn't take long and you both return to camp with a large bounty. Soon, the fires been lit, and everyone gathers around. That one friend stands suddenly, checking his pockets frantically. He's lost his phone and wants you to follow him back through the woods and look for it.

You happily agree, taking a flashlight of your own and bidding everyone a 'Be right back!'. This is your first mistake. You travel deeper into the forest eyes and flashlight sweeping the ground. He's much quieter now but you chalk it up to him being focused. He's focused, just not on finding his phone. It's tucked away in his sleeping bag back at the camp and he knows it.

He stops without warning, almost causing you to bump into him. When you ask what's wrong he simply chuckles, admitting he remembers packing it away. You playfully scold him and turn to make your way back toward the distant flicker of campfire. Then, he grabs your arm.

"Not yet, I wanted to spend a little more time with you!", he whines; eyes bright underneath the gentle glow of the moon. You laugh a bit, flustered by the proximity and his words. You've always thought of him as good looking, his personality magnetic. You pull away and tease him about his blatant confession with a shove. He laughs and shoves you back much harder than you'd shoved him.

You two continue to horse around until he's got you pinned against a cedar, the bark digging into your back. "Remember that time I told you I'd slice you up?", he questions. His eyes are full of mischief now and something else you can't quite place. You think nothing of it, he's threatened to harm you countless time and you'd done the same. It was all in good fun you believed. "What? Gonna make good on your promise, loser?~", you tease while still fighting against him lazily.

There's a click between you two and something sharp presses against your stomach; you freeze. "Maybe... if you don't do as I say.", he explains. His eyes are still kind looking, smile still inviting, so you think he's just gotten a little carried away with his joking like he does sometimes. "C'mon, that's not funny. Put that away and let's get back to the others.", you huff and push against him. He tilts his head and laughs while pushing you deeper into the trunk of the tree. "Funny? I wasn't joking, sweetheart.", he chides and now you're really scared.

Imagining how everything becomes real much too fast for you. The bark scraping your neck and back, the blade nipping at your abdomen and drawing beads of blood, how far away you are from your friends. Your adrenaline spikes and you place your hands against his chest and push hard. To your surprise, he stumbles backward. You turn and run deeper into the trees, only thinking of putting distance between the two of you. This is your third mistake.

You've turned your flashlight off, trusting the moon to light your way to safety. Your legs burn and start to give out before you stop, finding a large tree to hide behind. It's warped, roots and trunk twisted from years of weathering. You tuck yourself in between one of those twists and steady your breathing until it's almost inaudible. The forest around is dead silent save for the creaking of old trees and the babble of a nearby brook. In the distance, a twig snaps and you freeze.

"I gotta admit... you're making me work much harder for it than I thought you would, princess.", you hear him call out. Another twig snaps much closer and your eyes begin to prickle with tears. "Still, I'm willing to play nice if you come out from wherever you're hiding. I'll make it real quick, be gentle with you, I promise.", he muses; voice light and jovial as if he's not hunting you like a fucking animal.

"And if you don't... I'll head back to camp and make sure no one lives to see the sunrise."

You jam your knuckles in between your teeth to muffle the sob at the impossible decision you've been given. You peak around the tree's trunk to see how close he is. Maybe if you make a run for camp now, you'll be able to warn everyone. This is your last mistake.

As you step from within the trunk of the tree and start running, rough hands grip your waist. You shriek as you're spun, your chest coming meeting the tree's trunk hard. You gasp as the winds knocked out of your lungs and try to call out for help. Behind you he cackles, breath cool on your heated skin. "Scream all you want, sweetheart, they can't hear you this far out.", he scolds you. Your screams eventually quiet into broken sniffles and he coos at you, blade now pressed against the nook between your collarbones.

"Aww, baby, don't cry. You're breakin' my heart.", he hums into your skin, "I promised I'd be gentle, didn't I?". Somewhere deep, deep inside of this monster has to be a sliver of your good friend; a piece of the man you respected and thought of as comfort. So, you try and appeal to that part of him. "Please- don't do this!", you plead to him, and he sighs with exasperation. " You know I don't like it when you beg, princess.", he groans while his hand tangles itself in your and pulls, "I can't stand it, makes me all weak inside.".

You yelp in pain as he tugs the both of to the ground. Now, your chest is against the forest floor. It's damp, the smell of dirt and grass filling your nostrils. He makes quick work of your shorts, pooling them around your knees. He groans as he grabs the fat of your ass, kneading it roughly before reeling his palm back and bringing it down harshly. You cry out at the sting that he soothes away with gentler kneading. Your other cheek receives the same treatment. He continues, alternating between each side until the dark brown skin is red and angry.

He whistles, fingers coming up to brush against your covered heat. You flinch away at the difference in temperatures. "Looks like those pretty eyes of yours aren't the only thing wet on you, baby.", he comments before cold metal brushes against your abused ass cheek. Your face grows hot with embarrassment, it's true that some sick part of you enjoyed being treated like this. Your shame causes you to realize his intentions much too late.

Thinking about how the point of his blade snags the delicate cotton of your panties, and you listen to them tear apart. You shiver as the cold air meets your drenched folds. Both his hands grip your cheeks before spreading them to get a better look at you. He audibly moans at the sight, and you curse yourself at how you clench around nothing.

"This is gonna sting a bit, princess.", he warns as his belt hits the ground behind you. You brace yourself as you feel just how hot and hard he is. Judging by the feeling of tip separating your lips, this won't be pleasant. He shuffles forward, tip catching on your entrance and gradually begins to push forward.

You whine at the sting of being stretched beyond your limits. You're unexperienced, never taken anything bigger than your index finger when you found yourself awake at night dreaming of him. Now, he's damn near splitting you in two. You choke back a sob as he continues, and he's not having. "Shhh shh shh, princess, I know it hurts. Just a little longer and it'll all go away.", he coaxes out in a strained voice. He's lying, he's not even halfway in and you're already so warm and tight.

He curses and reaches around to toy with your clit, fingers skilled and quick. You cry out as he snaps his hips forward, filling you fully, the head of his cock pressed against a soft spot you didn't know you had. All thoughts in your head disappear and you see white as you clench around him and cum. He's quick, setting a steady pace before you're able to come down, forcing you to continue cumming as abuses that spongey spot deep inside you.

His shaky exhales mix with your desperate cries for him to slow his pace, to grant you some relief. He can't hear you; his eyes are locked on the place you're connected and the white ring forming around the base of his shaft. The only thing on his mind is making you cum again and cumming with you this time.

So, he speeds up, the sound of his pelvis meeting your ass filling the forest. In the back of your mind, the last bit of your sanity warns that someone could be looking for you, that they'll see you enjoying him ruining you. That thought leaves as quickly as it comes when you hear him whimper your name and your eyes roll to the back of your head. "C'mon, princess, know you can do it for me. C'mon, c'mon, c'mon- please.", you hear him chant not sure whether he's talking to you or himself.

He reaches around to torture your poor bud one more time before that tightening coil in your tummy snaps. You cum with a cry of his name this time, your arousal coating his thighs. He moans whorishly as your walls spasm around him and bring him to his own orgasm. He pulls your ass flush against his hips, and you feel him paint your walls white. You two stay like that for a while, twitching as you both come down before he separates the two of you. He pulls your shorts up, careful as he redresses you and redresses himself.

He stands and helps you to your feet, making sure to kiss away your tears. "You did so well for me, baby. So glad I agreed to do this with you!", he coos and pulls you close for a sweet kiss. You giggle as you part and kiss his cheek. "Let's get back before the others start worrying too much!", you say as he wraps his jacket around you and leads you back toward camp.

This definitely wouldn't be the last time you two ran off into the forest.

HXH: LEORIO, Shalnark, CHROLLO, Hisoka, Kurapika Demon Slayer: RENGOKU, TENGEN JJK: GOJO, GETO, TOJI, Yuuta YOUR FAVE

[lovingseventeen]

Hello! I've been stalking your blog and I can't explain how much I love your writings, they made my day 🥺 Anyway, if it's okay, can you do svt as your co-worker (could be just platonic/romantic/both, whatever you prefer). Thank you in advance! ✨️

svt as your coworker

a/n: AAAA so sorry to get back to you so late 😭 i hope you still get to read this and enjoy it,, i tried to write this as platonic with the hint of something more?

seungcheol:

○ quite the good employee

○ in his nature to lead group meetings and be pretty proactive in delegating roles that are suitable for everyone

○ always checks in with you that you’re okay with your work load and offers to help too

○ is it relevant that he looks very good with the sleeves of his button-up rolled up?

jeonghan:

○ master of wasting the company time and he somehow drags you into it

○ definitely plays some kind of little game with you every day

○ you both have used up several packs of post-its due to endless rounds of hangman, tic-tac-toe, etc

○ he loves to bet little prizes like “okay so over whoever loses has to buy lunch tomorrow”

○ he loves to waste time but is also somehow occasionally employee of the month???

joshua:

○ definitely the office hunk

○ half the company has a crush on him (how could you blame anyone, look at him)

○ definitely the kind of gentleman to grab coffee for himself but also bring back some extra drinks for those who sit near him too

○ when you try to pay him back he just smiles and brushes off your offer “you don’t need to do that” with the sweetest smile ever

jun:

○ always falls asleep at his desk but also never gets caught

○ is either very productive or doing nothing at all, no in between

○ you have to nudge him awake when you hear that the ceo is walking around the office and you swear your heart skips a beat when he looks at you in his sleepy state

hoshi:

○ one of the company’s long-time employees

○ a funny guy but also super reliable and hardworking so most people tend to look for him for help

○ you call him over to review something on your laptop and he’s leaning on your desk with one arm

○ when you talk to him he watches you intently and you’re wondering why your face suddenly feels hot?

wonwoo:

○ he’s quiet and always finishes his duties efficiently

○ the kind to send one-sentence emails (idk why i thought this seemed very him)

○ he sits across from you and when your eyes meet over your desktops you quickly turn back to your screen (you don’t realize he’s chuckling)

woozi:

○ employee of the month honestly

○ one of the people in the company who moved up the ranks pretty fast and at a pretty young age (he’s younger than most of the people with the same position)

○ he overhears your music playing through your headphones in the elevator one day (some of you will get this reference i hope)

○ “is that [insert obscure band]?” he’ll ask. you lift one side of your headphones to hear him and you nod happily when you realize his question. (from then on he has a little crush on you and he tries to start conversations in the future by asking if you’ve heard about that band’s new release!)

minghao:

○ you were a little intimidated by him at first

○ there’s no other way to describe it other than he looks so effortlessly cool, with his subtle piercings and painted nails amidst his business attire

○ you realize he’s warmer than you think when you work up the courage to compliment his nails

mingyu:

○ he’s employee of the month #2, also a very diligent guy

○ honestly a joyous person to share a desk with

○ “good morning ~~” he’ll say as he settles in for the day

○ from the second he gives you that wolffish grin you know this is gonna be a problem

dokyeom:

○ the kind of sweetheart to stay with you during your overtime so that you aren’t the only person left in the office

○ “you don’t need to stay!” you try to tell him, feeling a little bad you’re stopping someone from going home. he even has his bag all packed up

○ “y/n trust me, it’s a little scary when no one else is here” he assures you, “i stayed here one time and something dropped in one of the cubicles and it freaked me out” (he left out the part that he bolted out of the office when he heard that)

○ you think about it for a bit, opting to just hurry a little bit with your tasks. “okay fine, i’ll try not to take too long”

○ while you work, he even goes so far as to go to one of the vending machines down the hall to get you both a snack

○ bonus: on your way out you playfully go “did you hear that?” and his eyes widen immediately, “hear WHAT?”

seungkwan:

○ would be employee of the month if he didn’t get into arguments with coworkers here and there 😭

○ not a rude employee by any means but he’s just passionate about doing well

○ it is so nice when you get paired to work with him because he motivates you to do so well too

○ the longer you work with him, you do get to see more relaxed sides of him and he even hums a little while he works (soon you discover he’s incredible at singing)

vernon:

○ also doesn’t talk too much, not exactly because he’s busy but he also tends to sit idly sometimes, rotating on his chair to pass time LOL

○ he’s great to work with though, he’s so chill and open-minded that he’ll let you take the lead but also input his ideas when he feels necessary

○ you start talking to him when you come in on a monday, a little excited, “did you see the movie that everyone’s talking about?” you ask

○ his eyebrows raise and he sits up in his chair because he has in fact seen that movie

○ thus ensues emails about work but also with a movie recommendation in the final line

chan:

○ was the baby of the office when he was just an intern but he’s a hard-worker so he eventually got hired full-time

○ you catch him kind of dancing while he’s trying to pick out a vending machine snack

○ gets so embarrassed (he may have a crush on you) that he doesn’t talk to you for a good week 😭

[asterrrific]

lee chan x reader

Idk what to title this

Dino x reader (ft. 95z)

Warnings: none, just loads of fluff

unedited so i apologize for any grammatical errors or whatever. i made this bc a sudden idea came to me🥹

---

It was around 1am when y/n felt herself sway in her seat.

Books, answersheets, pens, sticky notes, her laptop, and a variety of snacks to keep her awake but failed were scattered at desk. It was the last week of the first semester and she's trying to rush all of her academic backlogs.

Such is the life of a senior student leader with other commitments. Always the last to catch up with academic requirements and classes because of her duties.

She shook herself awake, forcing her hand to continue writing. Her eyes were drooping, but she persevered.

"Get it together, y/n. One last chapter THEN you can go to bed." she willed herself.

But she's been staying up for weeks now. Dark circles are more than evident under her eyes. She's lost weight as well, and she's been easily stressed nowadays.

So it was hard to battle sleep.

"Bub?" came a familiar voice. Normally, she'd get excited and awake whenever she hears the endearment, but tonight, she's a dead man.

Chan cups her cheeks gently, stilling her from swaying in her seat as she battled sleep. His eyes strayed to her paper, words not evident, but random squiggles she perhaps thought were answers.

"Baby, you're not even writing answers anymore." He chuckles lightly as he takes away the pen from her hand. Y/n tries to grab it back... weakly.

"No, I can make it... I'm almost thereeee." she whines, eyes half closed, trying to reach for her pen. Chan keeps one hand on her cheek while the other puts the pen away.

"Y/N Baby, it's been three weeks. You've been busy since the start of the month. Your body is probably hating you right now. Let me take care of you please?" Chan gently prods, almost whispering.

Y/n and Chan's friends have all been concerned about her state. She's NEVER had decent sleep since the start of the month, BARELY eats her meals and snacks on time, and RARELY goes out with them.

It worried them so much that even Chan excuses himself from practices earlier than the rest now so he could monitor y/n.

"But I need all these. I wanted all these." she counters.

"I know, bub, and I appreciate that and I'm so so proud of you... but what's the whole point of achieving all these if you're gonna lose yourself in the process, hmm?"

At this, y/n's eyes flutter open, now aware of where this is going.

She knows damn well that he's right. But she just can't help but panic sometimes, knowing that the rest of her classmates have already submitted theirs and she's probably the last one left, although she's been given a grace period.

"Let's go to bed, please? It's already Sunday. We can sleep in. You can get some rest, and I'll be with you since we won't have practice. We can do anything you want except these academics. Please, baby? Have time for yourself too?" Chan barters. He tries his best at making puppy eyes at y/n, hoping his aegyo would work on her like it does with his hyungs.

Y/n sighs as she leans her forehead on Chan's. He closes his eyes and nuzzles his nose gently on to hers, then giving it a small kiss later.

"Whatchu think, bub? Like my proposal?"

"Fine, you win. But only because I'm so so drained now. How do you do it, Channie? How do you get things done and not get guilty and tired at all?" she asks, eyes closed.

"Who told you I don't get tired and guilty? I do. I just don't show it that much." He admits.

"Why though?"

"Because I don't want to worry any of you guys."

Y/N looks at Chan, his eyes on hers, his hands finding their way back to her cheek.

"I've learned to handle myself earlier on because of the nature of my career. And the hyungs helped me a lot too. If you'll allow me, I can help you work that out as well. Because I love you and I am concerned and I want to take care of you the way you derserve to." he lovingly explains.

Y/n smiles sleepily, allowing her whole body to lose its tension. She drops forward to surrender to Chan, who giggles on the floor as he catches her.

"There's my baby girl." he coos, as he sits up, caressing her hair carefully. She snuggles closer to him.

"Oh my God, I've been craving this for a whole week. I really DO deserve this." she exclaims, making Chan laugh lovingly.

He adjusts to carry her towards their shared bedroom in y/n's apartment. Gently, he lays her down before climbing in after her. Y/n immediately attaches herself to him the minute he settles in.

Chan lets y/n lay her head on his chest. He showers her head with little kisses while he rubbed random shapes on her back, lulling her to sleep.

"We'll talk more in the morning bubs. Get some rest, hmm?" Chan says, grabbing a blanket to tuck them both in.

"Mmkay..." y/n sleepily agrees.

Chan was about to close his eyes when his phone rings. A call.

"Hello-?"

"WHERE'S THE UPDATE, CHILD? IT'S BEEN TEN MINUTES. ARE YOU HOME YET?" comes Seungcheol's prodding voice. Apparently, because of his worry for Y/N, Chan forgot to update his hyungs who were still probably hanging out together after practice.

"Sorry, hyung." Chan fumbles, as he sets the call on video, showing y/n on his chest, hoping it'd serve as an explanation.

"You got us worried here you know? How can we have ber when- Oh my God, am I seeing this correctly?" asks the older male.

Chan chuckles as he brings the phone back to his face.

"Yep. She almost fell from her seat when I came in. That's why I wasn't able to call. Sorry."

"No, it's okay. What's important is she's getting rest now goddamn... she's hard to take care of sometimes. Proud of you for being patient with her, Lee Chan." Seungcheol salutes from the other side.

"Did I hear right?" Comes Jeonghan's voice as he and Joshua comes into the picture. The three eldest are like real brothers to Chan and even y/n. They worry for them like real siblings would, that's why Chan can always go home earlier than the rest, so he can care for y/n too.

And when y/n is with them, they surround her protectively, along with the other members especially when they're out, since fans can get really pushy sometimes.

"Finally, she's getting sleep. I hope tomorrow we can go out too." Joshua sighs.

"Nope. I promised her we can sleep in and we'll do whatever we want- except those freaking acads."

"Then maybe we could go there instead? We'd bring snacks for her and whatever else she needs. Tell her in the morn-"

Joshua and the other boys stop when they all saw y/n stir in her sleep. Chan immediately caressed her hair to lull her back.

"Channie?" she blinks, trying to lift herself away from him. The boys on the screen signal him to end the call and just message instead but y/n sees them.

"Oh..." she starts as her eyes adjust to the screen.

"Heyyy, y/n! We were just checking in. Go back to sleep." Seungcheol smiles.

Still really tired and sleep drunk, y/n hums. Chan smiles as he helps her lie back down.

"We'll message tomorrow Chan. Get some sleep too. It's been a long day." Seungcheol orders, his leadership shining through the older brother figure that Chan sees in him.

Chan does a salute as the call ends. He puts the phone on dnd on the bed side table and snuggles lower to cuddle with y/n, already going deeper in her sleep.

---

The next morning, Chan wakes up first. Y/N is no longer on him, but is still asleep soundly next to his chest. Her arms wrapped around his middle while her legs tangled with his. He blinks as rays of light sneaks through the blinds, and smiles as his eyes start to focus on the sleeping beauty next to him.

Gently, he carefully carressed her face, using his finger to trace out her freckles that he loved.

Y/n hums and stirs, and Chan freezes for a second. Slowly like a cat basking in daylight, she stretches, hitting Chan's chin on the process.

This was enough to wake her up.

"Oh gosh, I'm so sorry Channie." she goes, caressing the spot she just hit.

Chan laughs it off as he catches her hands, kissing them both gently.

"It's good morning first before that, my love." He says, pulling her close and settling his lips to the top of her head. With a contented sigh, he inhales her scent like his morning coffee.

"Good morning, bub." she giggles. It was music to his ears.

"Good morning, bub. How was your sleep?" He asks, brushing her hair away from her face and tucking strays behind her ear.

"It was good. Really good. I think I dreamed of the oppas..."

Chan laughs loudly at this, his laugh tickling y/n's ears. God, how she loved his laugh.

"It wasn't a dream, my love. They called last night and you saw them." he explains, pinching her cheeks softly then booping her nose.

He was overflowing with love for her so early in the morning, and he couldn't stop himself. Especially now that y/n has finally gotten some rest that she so much deserved.

"Oh they did? So they're coming over?"

"Uh huh. Later in the afternoon."

Y/n reaches over to Chan's side, where her phone was also placed. He gently holds on to her waist as she lifted herself on top of him.

"It's 9am..." she announces.

"Wanna have breakfast? Or brunch?"

"Uhm... I still kinda wanna sleep more." she admits sheepishly as she sinks back to her place besides Chan.

"Then let's sleep more."

"How about the guys?" she worries. "We might oversleep. How are we gonna prepare?"

"Well, I could tell them to come for dinner instead so we could still have more time to sleep and prepare after. What do you think, bub?" he asks, pulling her close.

Y/n takes her time to answer, and stays silent. It fooled Chan into thinking she fell back to sleep.

He was about to snuggle closer and go back to sleep when suddenly, y/n jerks up, her head hitting the same spot on Chan's chin she already hit earlier.

"Owwwww" they both say in unison.

"I'm so so so sorry bubby." She frantically says, laughing. "I was going to try to kiss you!" she worries.

"Double that then." he teases her, tending to his aching chin.

Y/n caresses the spot, then kisses it. She then locks eyes with Chan.

"You can hit my chin one million times and I'd still be head over heels for you after." he whispers.

"I'll kiss all your pain away a million times more then." she whispers back.

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because you just did. Why ARE we whispering?" she giggles. Chan sighs.

Gently, he grabs her face in his hands, and softly lands a kiss to her forehead.

He stayed there for a bit, savoring the moment. Y/n closes her eyes and runs her hands on Chan's arms, enjoying the vulnerability and sweetness of the moment.

"I love you-" they say in unison again, after Chan breaks off. They laugh again.

This time, it was y/n's turn.

As they giggled at their antics, she pulled Chan by the collar of his shirt, and gently crashed her lips on his. It took him by surprise, but he quickly adjusts, burrying his hands into her hair and softly playing with them as he returned the kiss.

"God, I love you." He speaks first as they broke it off to catch their breaths. He peppers her face with little kisses, making her smile.

"I love you..." she replies, kissing the top of his nose in return. Chan pulls her back to his chest. His heartbeat drumming loudly, lulling her back to sleep after all the fluff.

"Go back to sleep, my love. We've got a lot of time." he tells her. Y/n nods, loving every moment of her rest. Her deadlines flying out of her thoughts.

---------------------

a/n: guyyyyys it's been so long since i last wrote something here😭 uni has been so stressful lately. Maybe that's why I wrote this in this light and theme. I badly need a Dino in my life too.

Anyways, I want to write more😭 someone give me prompts or something.

And as always, if you loved this as much as I loved writing it, please leave a comment or reblog so other people would see my works too🥹👉🏻👈🏻🤍

lot's of love,

aster🫡

[aestheticanimegirl15]

I’d be so curious who you’d make who! (It also wouldn’t let me message you, btw- like DM) like would Johnny be Johnny? I’m assuming Darry has gotta be Price 😂🙈 and the one who has an abusive family (Soda Pop? Johnny?) has gotta be Simon 😭🥺 I just naturally assumed PonyBoy was Gaz for some reason 🤣 would you then also make a cameo by Makarov, or König or anyone as the opposition? Who would Cherry be? Haha. The reader? 🤔❤️ idk. But I thought it was an interesting story for sure, and I can definitely see why you would wanna do that AU 🥰🙌🏻

Johnny Cade is the one with an abusive family he is also the one who passes away after the church fire. But I can definitely go into more detail with this AU. (Also, I have no clue why you couldn't dm me?? I'll have to check that)

Personally, I feel like Simon would be Dallas, mostly because if you read the book (which I am basing this whole AU off of mainly) Dallas was described as "the real character of the gang" and Ponyboy liked to draw Dallas when he was in a "dangerous mood" cause he could get his likeness in only a few lines and in the book Dallas had blonde hair and eyes "blue, blazing ice, cold with the hatred of the whole world." And I feel like that lines up almost perfectly with Simon, especially given both of their backstories. Dallas has an extensive record, and while he was still living in New York, he would regularly join in on gang fights and was first ever arrested at the age of ten. But regarding your ask, I would put Gaz in Johnny's place (I'll explain more later.) and the only reason I'm not putting Simon in Johnny Cades place is because with Simon's backstory his mother actually CARED for Simon and that's a big part of his story. In Johnny Cades' backstory, it is both his dad AND his mom who abuse him, and I couldn't mentally put Simon in that place with how much Simon loved his mother before he lost her.

Price would 100% be Dally. Dally in the book is described as having dark brown hair and pale blue-green eyes that have a "determined set to them, like the rest of him" and Soda Pop (who is Dally's younger brother along with Ponyboy) is the only one who teased him. Ponyboy states in the book that he'd "just as soon tease a full-grown grizzly" than pick on Dally, and I feel like that is how the 141 treats Price when he is in Captian mode. Not to mention, I feel like both Price and Dally have that same situation of "they're only hard on you because they care about you." Like it may not seem they care much about the people they consider brothers with how they treat them, but in reality, both Price and Dally care SO MUCH and just want what's best for them and they show that in the best way they know how, by pushing their friends/brothers to be the best that they can be.

The reason I put Gaz in Johnny Cades' place is mainly because both characters have that same feeling of unwavering loyalty to the people who are close to them. Both are young and have everything to prove and everything to lose. In the book, Johnny was "everyone's kid brother" which I personally feel like is the relationship everyone has with Gaz since he is the "youngest" (next to Soap) member of the 141 and was described as looking like "a puppy" which reminds me a lot of how Gaz looks in some of the cutscenes. Both characters would do anything for their friends and look up to them in the way that a little brother looks to the eldest. While I personally don't know if Gaz's backstory lines up with Johnny Cades (if anyone does, please tell me) In my opinion Gaz is the best option in this AU to be in Johnny Cades position. (Minus the dying)

Soap I feel like would be Ponyboy. Both have artistic abilities, and both are extremely smart. Soap with explosives, which can be aligned with chemistry because it IS chemistry, and Ponyboy is described as being extremely smart in school regularly, getting straight A's with a few B's here and there. Both characters are extremely willing to help out where and when they can even if it borders on careless, Ponyboy literally running into a church fire to save a group of schoolchildren. And I feel like Soap is the more compassionate (is that the right word) out of the 141, regularly joking with Simon over coms and just overall less tight when tensions aren't running high. Not to mention, Ponyboy is the second youngest of the Greasers much like how Soap is in the 141. Also in the book Dally is constantly getting onto Ponyboy for "not using his head" and lacking common sense. Which just reminds me of Soap.

I'm still working on if there would be any cameos in this AU as I'm not entirely sure which COD characters would line up best with the rest of The Outsiders characters. But regarding your ask, yes, I would put reader in Cherry's place who has a little more depth in the book and is said to be a spy for the Greasers on what's going on with the Soc's and has some romantic feelings (though never explored) for Dallas (or in this AU, Simon) once she actually gets to know him as who he is. But that's who would be who in this AU based on my own opinions, but I am very open to suggestions since I myself am still working on making this a full fleged AU instead of just a missed opportunity shit post.

[irelandking]

college au fic recs

bucky barnes x reader

❤️ = fluff 😔 = angst 🔥 = smut

multiparts:

carnations - @viollettes

It’s a simple concept: Students can buy flowers for each other at the carnation sale. Red flowers are for love, pink flowers are for friendship, and white flowers are for expressing secret admiration. A carnation fundraiser, an iota of possibility, and a longtime secret crush on your hot best friend - what could go wrong? ❤️

untouched - @buckyalpine

other parts: Tongue Twister, Date Night, Tipsy virgin college bucky x virgin college reader (steve's sister) ❤️🔥

passing notes - @nastybuckybarnes

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 You sit at the same table ever day at the little café down the street from campus, each day with a different book. Often poetry. And Bucky Barnes is always in the table next to you, usually doing the same thing. He either reads, writes, or sketches. One day, a dropped notebook leads to... something? Will that something turn to dust after an eye opening realization? ❤️🔥😔

sup, professor @/bbarnesjames - @aescapisms

[A Social Media AU] Bucky Barnes is the “most handsomest man” that you have ever laid your eyes on and oh, would you look at that. He’s your professor. [COMPLETE] ❤️📱

as friends - @jeanthebeans-blog

part 2 You and Bucky are friends with benefits, but the lines are starting to blur and you don’t know how much longer you can keep having sex as friends. Loosely based on “Best Friends” by the Weeknd. 🔥😔

sweet reverie - @demxters

part 2: right where you left me bucky asks you to pretend to be his girlfriend for the weekend but after what you thought was sweeter than a dream has you facing a harsher reality. ❤️😔

will we talk? - @winterromanov

Your hands remain clasped together until he’s far enough away from you, dropping your hand and grinning as he’s eventually lost in darkness. You have to hover for a second with your keycard in your hand, trying to gather your thoughts, process the events of the evening. Bucky Barnes like you. He likes you, not in spite of you, but because you’re you. ❤️🔥

one shots:

Chemistry - @viollettes

In which Bucky attempts to use chemistry to explain the chemistry between you and him. ❤️

know it all - @moonbeambucky

Your grades and patience are tested when you’re paired together for a class project with the one person you cannot stand, Bucky Barnes.   ❤️ 

study break - @sebbies

you met bucky, a popular kid on campus, a year ago and became friends with him even though you have the biggest crush on him. he interrupts your study time. ❤️🔥

notebook - @softlyspector

Bucky and Y/N sit next to each other all semester. They never talk to each other, until one day they do. College AU ❤️

confess - @buckybarnesowl

You and Bucky have been inseparable since first year. Will you both finally confess your feelings, or are you doomed to a life of eternal pining? ❤️

she's not mad - @subwaysurf45

Bucky Barnes was a known people pleaser, it was second nature to him. After meeting you and getting close you both try to navigate his eternal stressed state, working together you try your best to tone down his obsessive ways. ❤️😔

nights like this - @writing-for-marvel

There are rules for friends with benefits, and you’ve broken the most important one: don’t fall in love with him. ❤️🔥

you next to me - @sinner-as-saint

Requested by @prettywhenicry4​: “Hiii can you write something for punk/emo bucky? Him and reader are in college together and run with very different circles, they get paired up for a project and they’re always fighting but then overtime idk fall in love? But it’s so shocking for everyone around them cause they’re so different from each other” ❤️🔥

wanna be yours - @sinner-as-saint

Your best friend has been acting weird, and one night while you’re hanging out like you both usually do, he finally tells you why he’s been acting kind of different lately. ❤️🔥

cuffing season - @sinner-as-saint

Late at night, you’re at the campus library finishing up a paper. And it’s freezing. Like actually freezing, to a point where you’re not even sure if the heaters are working anymore. You’re still trembling in a dark corner of the study area when the cuddliest man you’ve ever laid eyes on walks up to you. When he sees you trembling like a leaf, the blue-eyed stranger offers to sit next to you and keep you warm for a while. Then, one thing leads to another and you soon find yourself walking home with him. And one thing is for certain, you want more than just his body heat. ❤️🔥

request - @sanguineterrain

Could I request college!Bucky x reader at a carnival with the prompt: “Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.” ❤️

in plain sight - @world-of-aus

you drive home from college with bucky, your best friends brother ❤️

post-it - @crazyunsexycool

his is a college AU was inspired by a random picture I saw of people using post it notes to write messages in windows to other people in a different building.❤️

stress relief - @bucksfucks

they say an orgasm reduces stress—bucky puts that to the test pairing: librarian!buckyx f!college!reader 🔥

time to study - @navybrat817

Bucky told you he needed help with his studies, but you should have known he just wanted an excuse to kiss you ❤️

[remcycl333]

i feel like ‘living in the end’ is such a load of bull, everyone’s saying affirm and persist or go into the states. i feel like half of the community don’t have lives to live or even go outside. Idk, i just feel like not everyone can do that, especially in such a bad environment. like I get it I want to manifest a better life but its not my fault if I don’t persist or believe.

im not an affirm and persist girly anymore, but i was for a good year or two. all the advice i saw online was to affirm more. "if your desire isn't here yet, you haven't affirmed enough." i trusted this blindly, and i ended up affirming 24/7. it took up my whole life. i'd affirm while hanging out with my friends, while watching tv, while playing video games, while listening to music. and i wasn't getting my desires, even though it had been months. this is what led me to states, even though for a good year i didn't know the term "states".

states make manifesting so easy. you don't have to be in the state all day, because you are constantly shifting in and out of states all day long. you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to dedicate your entire day every day to repeating affirmations. the state you consistently going back to--aka your dwelling state--is what manifests. as long as you go back to the state of having your desire more than you go to the state of NOT having your desire, your desire will manifest.

living in the end is not a load of bull, but it's also not a 24/7 job like some people have made it out to be. let's say your manifesting money. i'm sure there are stretches of time throughout the day where you don't think about money at all. maybe while you're watching tv or reading a book or playing a video game. at that time, you're neither in the state of being rich, nor in the state of being poor. that's why you don't have to be in your desired state 24/7.

manifestation is a tool, it's not a job. we should not be neglecting our lives to affirm 24/7. nor should we be counting our affirmations. manifestation is a natural process. we manifested for years without even knowing we were doing it. we didn't create "neural pathways" or repeat sentences 10,000 times until our mind was saturated. we simply knew (assumed) something to be true, and then it manifested naturally into our 3d reality.

if it's not your fault if you don't persist, then who's is it? you have to take responsibility for everything you do. if you're in a bad environment, i don't blame you for having trouble with persisting or believing. but it's still something you're doing (or not doing). manifestation is your power that can help you get out of whatever situation you're in. especially if it's a situation that has no physical solution. if your only hope to get out of your situation is to manifest your way out, then people like me are here to teach you how to manifest. if you don't want to put in the effort, that's on you.

i know this sounds harsh. but as i explained before, states is very easy. you don't have to believe that everything is cupcakes and rainbows in your 3D when you're seeing the opposite of what you want. but it's not permanent, and you have the power to change the story in your 4D to be something more favorable. change your 4D first, and the 3D will follow. it is safe to think/imagine in your favor. take care of your 3D, don't neglect it. but there is nothing dangerous or high stakes about living in the end in your imagination. living in the end ≠ acting as if. if you're manifesting money and you only have ten dollars to your name, don't spend that money on something you don't need because "that's what a rich person would do." nothing you do in your 3D will effect your manifestation. it doesn't matter if you're not acting like a rich person, as long as you consistently go back to the state of being rich. the only thing you need to do is occupy the state of the wish fulfilled more than you occupy the state of lack, and your 3d will change. my fav way to do this is the distraction technique. the whole purpose of this technique is to shift your state to the wish fulfilled, and then go on about your day without having to constantly think about your desire. which is perfect for someone who doesn't have much time to manifest.

living in the end is not bull, it's one of the most important parts of manifesting. but i hope i've shown you that it isn't as hard as the grind culture that is affirming 24/7 has made it out to be. it's not a job, and it shouldn't take up all of your mental capacity or months of your time. you should be allowed to focus on things other than your manifestation!

anywayz i hope this post has helped someone idk!

[mtreebeardiles]

Been thinking about heteronormativity and how it gets regurgitated into queer media and I think maybe the conversation around it is missing some key understandings:

1) no one is saying that the more femme partner can’t be the bottom — just that it shouldn’t be assumed as some kind of “default”

2) no one is saying more femme peeps can’t be attracted to more masc peeps and vice versa — just that it is entirely possible for more femme folks to be attracted to other femme folks, for more masc folks to be attracted to other masc folks, and all the possible combos you can think of rather than **defaulting** to masc x femme as some kind of ingrained, innate dynamic

3) both straight women and queer men can write reductive, stereotypical MLM fiction — but there is an undercurrent of assumptions being made about these writers that are also tied to stereotypes. Critiquing a man in largely leftist spaces is treated as a morally correct given, but critiquing a woman in those spaces is often “men talking over women” or “putting women down” without actually considering the criticism and whether or not it has merit. “I’m not fetishizing gay men, you can’t fetishize gay men.” You can! The same way straight men fetishize queer women! Next!

4) related to 3, both women and men can write AMAZING MLM fiction — I know because I have read some pretty great shit, and some of that was indeed by women! But that doesn’t negate the very fair criticism that a lot of MLM media is largely written by women. Does that mean those women should stop? No! Absolutely not. But it does mean that maybe as a reader or heck even as a creator, it may be worthwhile to broaden your own horizons and read & promote works about queer men written by queer men. Not all of it is automatically good by virtue of the author being queer (again, see above), but we have this tendency in our broader society to assume woman= better at emotions and man= emotionally illiterate, treating it like some kind of innate, “natural” state of things. (It’s bioessentialism. It’s just bioessentialism, that tenacious foot soldier of patriarchy. Avoid this path lest you end up in TERFdom)

Unfortunately the article I was gonna cite here for this point is one I can’t seem to find again, but it essentially was this dude explaining why he’d chosen all women to work on a romance anthology (queer) over any queer men and literally said it’s because men can’t write romance as well/aren’t as “in touch with their emotions”

Idk seems spoken like some schmuck who hasn’t been up til 2 am sobbing over some werewolves from Green Creek but what can ya do

Ultimately my point is: no, you don’t have to be a queer man to write about queer men. But as a queer man who loves reading about queerness (particularly romance cuz I’m a sap and I love that shit), my only real ask is this:

Consider how you’re writing the character and why. Are some patriarchal biases sneaking through? Are those biases YOURS, or are you giving them TO THE CHARACTER in a way that you want to explore? Because there is a difference there and I am not saying you can’t write toxic characters or toxic relationships

I’m just saying there is a difference between the writer crafting their story in a way that implies or heavily endorses toxicity as “default” or “natural” versus a writer who knows it isn’t and is exploring that toxicity with that awareness — an awareness that does, in fact, translate into the work itself

[leejenowrld]

hiiii could you please write some fluff and cute stuff of jeno cuddling y/n and it’s such a sweet moment bc he’s very touchy and he cares sm 🥺🥺💗💗 i love your writing btw

heyyyy!! ok so i did write smth really quickly, i rushed it so idk if it’s the best and i’m sorry :(( im actually at the airport rn lmfao waiting to board so i just wrote a cute little scene. it’s not just them cuddling, you’ll see ;) it’s got a bit of a plot. request more things you want me to write though!! if you enjoyed any of my text posts and want me to write anything from there as a prompt or a mini one shot, lmk !!!

word count - 1k

genre - just pure fluff

Sprawn out on the sofa, you're held captive by the relentless onslaught of a pounding migraine. The room spins with a cruel dizziness, each movement exacerbating the wave of nausea that threatens to engulf you. Shivers course through your body, amplifying the discomfort of your aching head.

In the grip of an unforgiving cold, you find yourself caught in a symphony of sneezes, hacking coughs, and occasional bouts of vomiting. The once serene environment is now scattered with discarded tissues, a testament to the tumultuous battle your body is waging.

A hesitant glance in the mirror reveals a disheveled version of yourself, the pallor of illness etched across your features. The cascade of tears in your eyes mirrors the internal storm wreaking havoc on your well-being, leaving you feeling exposed and, in your own harsh judgment, utterly unappealing.

Yeonjun and Heejin stand over you, maintaining distance, Yeonjun shielding himself, their faces etched with a combination of concern and fear as they watch over your decaying form. Fully aware of Jeno's protective nature, you issue a lighthearted yet earnest warning, "Don't tell Jeno." The mere thought of him witnessing your current state intensifies your embarrassment.

You recognize Jeno's tendency to be overprotective and concerned, characteristics that, in certain moments, transform his usually calm presence into something that feels formidable and intimidating. You’re on the verge of explaining this to them but suddenly,

You're on the verge of explaining this when suddenly, the door swings open. Jeno enters with an armful of pharmacy bags, his eyes scanning the room until they lock onto yours with unmistakable concern. He pays no attention to Yeonjun or Heejin, bypassing any formalities as he swiftly makes his way over to you.

A mixture of panic and surprise flashes across your face as you take in his appearance. Clad in his work uniform, Jeno appears both determined and caring. You stammer, "How did you—" before he cuts you off with a calm yet reassuring response, "Yeonjun told me that you were dying."

“I’m okay -“

“Baby, you look a mess.”

With a tender touch, Jeno places a hand on your forehead, checking your temperature. You can’t help but pout up at him, and in response, his expression grows more serious. However, there’s a softness in his eyes as he gazes into yours. He leans down, planting a quick peck on your lips.

He proceeds to cover you with blankets, ensuring you’re cocooned in warmth. As you pull him into a hug, he reciprocates, his embrace offering comfort and a sense of security. His fingers stray away baby hairs from your face, a gentle caress that makes you melt into his tenderness. Soft kisses rain down on your cheek. You find solace in Jeno’s presence, his actions speaking volumes about the depth of his love for you.

In the midst of the tender scene with Jeno, a sudden, immediate shift occurs—like a 360-degree turn. While concern paints his face, to anyone else, it might seem like anger. However, you know him too well, recognizing his unique way of expressing care.

Jeno starts scolding you in a way only he can. "I told you to cover up in this weather," he starts, his voice a mixture of frustration and genuine worry. "I told you to wear more layers underneath your coat. I told you to take your vitamins and medicine."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" you hiss at Yeonjun while Jeno tuts, calling your attention.

As Jeno looks at you with disappointed eyes, you can't help but pout, attempting to defend yourself. "I just have a poor immune system," you explain, attempting to justify the situation. "It happens every time." The room hangs heavy with the weight of his concern, his reproach a manifestation of his love, albeit in a scolding tone.

Silence settles in the room as Jeno, without uttering a word, scoops you up into his arms. With effortless strength, he carries you to your room, the concern etched in his expression palpable. Gently, he lays you down, and as you settle into the bed, his features soften.

Without hesitation, he showers your face with tender kisses. "I love you," he murmurs, his voice a soothing balm. "I'm just worried about you," he explains, the edge of his voice softened with genuine care.

"I know, but it happens like every six months," you justify, attempting to ease his worry.

He counters, "It still hurts me when you're in pain. I wish I could take it away."

Cuddling together, your head finds a comfortable spot against his chest, syncing with the reassuring rhythm of his heartbeat. His warm arms envelop you, and in that embrace, you start to feel the early tendrils of comfort. Your eyes meet his, falling into the warmth they radiate. “I love you.” You whisper, leaning into his palm as he cups your face.

Jeno has gone above and beyond, having cooked for you, helped you shower, changed, and even brushed your teeth. Each action speaks volumes of his love and care. As he feeds you the prescribed medicines, you can't help but feel that the true medicine is the love he showers upon you. In the quiet moments of vulnerability and care, you find solace, and the pain begins to dissipate under the gentle touch of his love.

In the soft glow of the room, Jeno smiles as he watches you peacefully sleep. He finds you truly beautiful in the comfiest of clothes, wrapped in tranquility. The steady rise and fall of your chest, the occasional smiles, and even the gentle giggles that escape your lips—all of it is a nightly routine he's come to adore.

Having shared countless nights together, Jeno knows your sleeping habits like a cherished secret. Amidst the soft moans from sleep apnea, he's discovered the endearing side of you—those precious moments when you smile and giggle in your dreams. To him, you're a portrait of cuteness and warmth, even in the depths of slumber.

You’re a victim of tired talk. Nonsensical words spill out in the realm of deep fatigue. Unfazed, Jeno nods understandingly, his love evident as he softly kisses you, telling you to ‘shut up,’ with love of course. He gently cradles you in his arms. In this cozy haven, your tired ramblings become a lullaby, and the warmth of his embrace is the sweetest melody that lulls you both into a peaceful night's rest.

authors note i know i changed it around a little bit but send an ask again and i will solely just write jeno cuddling yn, maybe it can be a post sex moment? i just wanted to respond to your ask as soon as i could!! i will definitely write jeno and yn post sex aftercare as a cute one shot if you want it!! just send it

[teruthecreator]

(tw for racism, pedophilia, transphobia, child impregnation mention)

yeah idk why y'all read this

i was originally going to just post this and have some tags with my reasonings, but i realized that opens me up to too much bullshit from people who may think i'm being unnecessarily mean or whatever. so i'm going to explain exactly why the screenshots above are something i hold issue with.

firstly, and i just want to get this out of the way, this post is not intended to be a hit piece against the creator. i've seen how she reacts to any mild-mannered or slightly joking criticism, so i know this post is probably going to not land well. but it isn't my intention to make her mad or anything--she's writing a piece of content for the internet, which means she is just as open to criticism as any other poster. and what i intend to go into in this post is criticism. i'm allowed to do this, as that is the nature of the internet. people are allowed to critique whatever they please, and if you don't want critique then you shouldn't post. simple as!

i am also making no attempts to posit myself as better than the creator. i'm not doing this for clout or moral superiority or any of that dumb shit. i simply want to discuss something that's been bothering me for a bit, while simultaneously warning people who haven't read this yet (who may be sensitive to the issues above) to steer clear. if things like casual racism or transphobia aren't properly tagged, then readers who are affected by such things run a risk reading this! same goes with people who are triggered by lewd content involving minors. i wanna make sure people are getting a more critical scope of this work than what has been hoisted up by others.

okay, now that i've gotten that out of the way, i'm going to get into my points.

firstly, the subtle and not-so-subtle racism throughout this fic, especially in relation to serizawa. i'm white, so there is only so much i can speak on without trampling over the words of other fans of color, but some of this feels so blatant it's odd it hasn't been noted earlier. it's important to note before i go into it that serizawa is specifically written as half-black half-japanese for this fic, in case the screenshots don't make it abundantly clear. but there are just too many moments of casual racism in this fic. i'm not talking about the plot point of serizawa being bullied as a kid for being mixed; i'm not mixed, so i can't speak on the accuracy there but it is well-known that black people face a lot of racism in japan. i'm talking about how it seems everyone else has these racist moments that aren't acknowledged by serizawa or the narration as being bad.

reigen hypothesizing over serizawa's exact ethnic background is just strange. yes he's a fairly observant guy (he has to be, with his job), but there is no canonical evidence to suggest he would immediately jump to theorizing whether serizawa is american or not. and the way it's posed in that first quote--"he has darker skin and the kind of hair texture that would likely indicate African ancestry"--is not great. that's an extremely inappropriate way to bring up someone's race. i don't think most people would stare at someone and be like "hmmm well your nose shape and hair texture would suggest you're of this race". it's racial essentialization that is only slightly covered up by the excuse of "oh he tweets in english". there are some other smaller moments of questionable wording, like calling serizawa's afro "sloppy" when it isnt (which btw there's another issue with the creator only referring to an afro as a "fro". it's a hairstyle; you're allowed to use the actual name of it). even if reigen cuts his hair in canon, he never states it's because serizawa's afro looks sloppy. (also there's something to be said about the casual racism baked into making your employee cut his natural hairstyle for a job, as that is a very real issue many black people face when wearing their natural hair or even protective styles in the workplace.)

i'm especially bothered by toichiro's very casual racist remarks. toichiro in this fic is a general bother of mine (most of which can be boiled down to "he would not fucking say that"), but the way she chooses to characterize him in relation to serizawa feels gross. calling a black man a slave should be a very obvious red flag, but also saying serizawa (again, as a black man) has a "brutal masculine appeal" is also extremely stereotypical and racist. and really there is just no need for it; toichiro's actions in canon prove how shitty of a guy he is without the need for him to be racist (along with other things i'll get to in a bit). as my girlfriend put it: he doesn't need to be a member of the fucking kkk to show he's a bad guy.

there's also, again, the very casual racist remark of calling serizawa a "dog". i don't care if that isn't the intent; when you are writing a character of color you need to be aware of your wording, even in insults (unless she intended to make tsuchiya racist, which i don't think she did).

secondly, the eugenics/child pregnancy bit. it is surreal to even have to write this, but i seriously do not understand the purpose of either of these bits in the story. they are so minor yet so jarring you can't help but wonder why they're there. once again, i do not think you need to have toichiro doing esper eugenics just to prove he is an evil guy. he has nuance, and by making him casually reference child pregnancy (like that isn't an INSANE thing to say) reduces that nuance to nothing. that's the only reason i could see why that bit was included: to make toichiro look worse. but, even still, the author is running the risk of potentially triggering victims of csa or people who don't want to see that by not properly tagging the mention of it (or, at the very least, warning readers in the intro notes). the only other explanation for it would maybe be shock factor??? but that's a pretty shitty thing to use for shock factor, if i'm honest. also the fact that the esper eugenics was referenced again in a more recent chapter just has me very disturbed and confused. there isn't a canonical explanation for why we see less espers who are women than espers who are men, but that doesn't mean we need to jump to fucking Eugenics. it's weird!

thirdly (and this is probably one of my biggest problems and the main reason i wanted to make this post), the weirdly lewd/sexual language shou uses constantly, along with referring to reigen as a pedo or a creep at several points. frankly, i think it's pretty fucking gross for someone in their near-40's to be writing a 12-year-old talking so casually about sex like that's normal. which, i'm sorry, but it's not. yes, teens know about sex and like to joke about lewd shit. but a 12-year-old is not about to make references to a grown man's virginity. 12-year-olds draw dicks on their desk bc they think it's funny. 12-year-olds say the word "buttfuck" because it has the words "butt" and "fuck" in it, and those are the two funniest words on earth to a kid that age. i literally do not understand the purpose of having shou be so lewd all the time. for one, it doesn't make sense for his character. shou is shown time and time again to be extremely mature for his age, but that maturity extends to shit like assembling a counter-terrorism unit and extending a hand to his father to allow him to try again. and even then he's still just as naive as any other kid his age! the omake where he's telling his guys to go to the "far right corner" based on ritsu’s advice proves that he still has plenty of blindspots that are indicative of his age. leaning into this raunchy, lewd version of shou is just weird. and, again, i think it is made a bit weirder given the author's age!!! not ageshaming or whatever--i'm 23 and i write fanfic, clearly i cannot judge there--but it is just extremely inappropriate in my opinion. also having shou be more versed in sextalk than serizawa is odd too and speaks to a larger issue of serizawa's infantilzation throughout this fic, but that's something i can get into in another post if people want an explanation.

also, the way she constantly calls reigen a creep and even has him being accused of being a pedophile during the twitter cancellation is extremely inappropriate when, again, there is NO CANONICAL BASIS FOR THIS! everyone just calls him a fraud and a scammer during separation arc; there is never a reference to reigen being seen as a pedophile in that arc. and, yes, while there are versions of mob psycho where reigen is very clearly written as a creep (looking very specifically at the netflix adaptation), that doesn't mean it's good. honestly, the creep mentions all just feel like really poor jokes that do not land in the slightest.

finally, the transphobia (aka WHY IS SHIMAZAKI A CHASER). i literally do not know what else to say other than: why? why is this a thing? why is he a chaser? what is the purpose of this? is it a joke? i feel like it's supposed to be, but seeing as the author is cis i don't think that's a joke she should really be making. it not only comes out of left field, but it's just kind of a weird thing to ascribe to a character for no reason. not to mention, it's uncomfortable! trans women deal with enough creepy antics from cis men in real life--why must they be accosted by this guy too? it's just weird and uncomfortable.

i wanna round out this post by saying, once again, that i'm not trying to attack anyone with this post. but i do hope people come away from this with a new perspective on this work, and maybe think twice before recommending it uncritically to someone. to the author specifically, i hope you can read my post without rage or indignance blinding you. i might be a little blunt or rude in parts, but it's only because i'm passionate and i don't mince my words when it comes to things i'm passionate about. to the readers, understand i am not judging you for reading this fic without noticing these things. your own life experiences will give you certain blindspots and there's nothing wrong with that. i have plenty of blindspots of my own! it's what makes us human.

there is more i could say, but this post is long enough. i ask that if you come to me in my inbox or in dms about this that you treat me with respect, as i will do that for you. writing something like this took a lot out of me, as i'm usually not so open about my opinion on shit like this.

have a good day :-)

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

So in your most recent ramble on Theories technically isn't Frank being atheist slightly concious of what's going on cannon since artwork of him being aware of other puppet parts was in the recent update? What if some neighbors really know nothing but others actually do know of a little bit of what's happening but Wally doesn't realize they do so he tries to keep face?

Though I'll admit with your idea of that not being the "Real" Barnaby in the Interview may explain why Wally went really quiet during the interview even when being directly asked things once Barnaby showed up

Kind like he was so focused on the "That's not Barnaby. Why do they Look like him? Who are They??" That the Interviewers questions got completely ignored as "Barnaby" answered the question instead until Wally snapped out of it.

Just thoughts on your thoughts of many thoughts- Thoughts!

sorry i Did Not See This!

for a moment i was very confused as to what you meant by "athiest" but i see - you meant "at least!" yes, i've been tentatively believing in Frank being a bit aware because of your stated reason, and also purely based on vibes and how he's been shown to be more, ah, cynical than the others. or... knowledge seeking? nosy but in a technical way. mild example is when he mused on how he's never seen a blue dog before in his bug audio w/ Barnaby.

and i do believe in the idea that everyone - or almost everyone knows somethings up, but they're not sure what / it's an easy feeling to ignore. like how i've talked about Howdy potentially knowing that he's selling props / inedible objects as food, but everyone can eat it anyway. so he's just like "fuck it yeah sure, i'll sell soap as mashed potatoes", yk? then of course in the Halloween update - which i know this ask was sent before it, apologies again - Sally knows there's somethin' the fuck up in the neighborhood at night. i wouldn't be surprised if everyone has a little Something they've noticed that bothers them deep down...

and Wally... honestly i'm starting to suspect that - again! If there's a time discrepancy between "official" audios and the secret ones or at least all audios vs his interactions with the whrp/qa/You - Wally in the official audios isn't quiiiite up to speed? like, he probably knows what he is and the like, but he's still figuring out everyone's places and the nature of his existence. like how in the Halloween "secret" audio 00, where he eats part of Barnaby's candy apple - it seemed like it took a great effort, like Wally was just trying it out. like a "i think i can do this... i'm trying..." it strikes me as a "new" thing for him there. he's not accustomed to it? idk... but whatever the case Wally certainly knows that he has to keep Secrets! can't tell the others about literally anything!

as for the interview - tbh i don't think Wally was quiet because he noticed that Barnaby was (potentially) just a person in a suit. several reasons! i have a feeling that Wally being Aware means that he understands, at least on some level, what a puppet is and the nature of it, so it wouldn't really disturb him? or maybe it would... apple pie and all... SO! another piece of reasoning! it's possible that Wally had no idea that that Barnaby "wasn't" Barnaby. After all, how could he tell?

personally, i think Wally was just quiet because, well, he's not much of a talker - at least not around Company it seems! in all of the audios where he's with other neighbors, he fades into the background and defers to them, only chiming in occasionally. and the Interview appears to be set in the early days of Welcome Home the tv show, so Wally would still be uh. for lack of a better word, fresh outta the box. if Barnaby starts talking, naturally Wally would sit back and let him lead. Wally takes a beat too long formulating a response and Barnaby barrels on - well what would Wally do? interrupt? that would be rude...