#lik hey. what the fuck????? excuse me????? EVERYTHING IS GOING ON

[turnaboutchaos]

im up to episode 5 in DGS2 what the fuck

[beyond-the-stone]

Here Comes the Moon (SFK)

Playlist- HCTM🌙

this is the fist fic of a series. This chapter may not contain smut but others will. PLEASE USE YOUR BEST JUDGEMENT.

unedited except for grammarly (contact me if you want to edit.

this is my first fic be kind 🙏

also tag list is open lmk if you want to be added

fluff, kissing, suprise sam

Here Comes The Moon

You could still taste the sunscreen in your mouth. It had been lingering on your tastebuds for 4 hours, and you were starting to get used to it. You reached for your water bottle and finished it.

“Goddammit,” you spoke out loud.

You were hoping the water would last your entire hike but you still had a little further to go before starting your trek back down.

You turned around doing a full 360. 

“Goddammit,” you repeated. You didn’t see any water or someone who could be carrying any.

This was all your fault.

Just like everything else in your life, you messed it up. 

 You turned around again and continued to walk.

You started to think. 

You messed up your escape.

You ruined everything, and you knew it. 

Everything was up in the air.

Your family was disappointed in you, your best friend moved 4 time zones away from you, and you felt so helplessly alone.

By this time you had reached the peak of your height but were too upset to enjoy the beautiful sunset.

“Goddamit” you spoke again. The sun was setting and you hadn’t even started your trip back.

“Goddamit, goddamit GOD FUCKING DAMMIT,” You yelled into the earth far below you.

You began to cry and that turned into full-on sobbing. 

You sat down on the nearest rock and buried your face in your arms. 

Then you made a rash decision, you started kicking your backpack. You grunted or cursed loudly with each hard kick. tears still streaming down your face.

Mid-kick session you thought you heard a crunch, like a branch breaking. You stopped and stood still, and when the sound repeated you started to panic. You grabbed your now misshapen and lumpy bag. You began to move away from the sound fearing it was a wild animal. You grabbed your flashlight from the back pocket and slowly stepped backward.

The sounds were getting closer to you but you still couldn’t see anything. You feared a bear and started running through the checklist of what to do if one attacked you.

The noises continued to get louder and you were trying to use your limited animal knowledge to figure out what it could be.

All of a sudden your worst nightmare appeared in front of you.

A tall man appeared out of the woods. He had brown eyes and long hair and for a moment you thought he might be a woman, but the more you looked he clearly wasn’t, he had a beard. He was wearing a cut-off tee and the shortest shorts you had ever seen a man wear. 

He looked around a moment before he spotted you. 

When he finally turned towards your direction you realized he was out of breath and was nearly doubled over.

 You held your flashlight even tighter.

“Hey,” he called out giving a slight wave “are you ok? I came running this way because I thought someone was hurt. I heard a bunch of cursing an-”

“Back away,” you said in the calmest voice you could muster.

“What d-”

“I said back away!”

He stared at you for a moment almost frightened. Slowly his scared look faded into one of realization.

“Oh, OH, of course,” he slapped his forehead with a pained look. “I just snuck up on a woman alone in the woods. I’m so stupid. Fuck I am sorry. I just came this way because I thought someone was hurt and I wanted to help. I know that’s a sorry excuse. Man, I just left a ton of stuff in the woods. I mean what could I do.” He continued to ramble to himself. 

You were still kind of scared and considering how to escape this situation when he stopped speaking. You looked up and he was staring back at you.

“I am so sorry I just completely forgot my manners, I’m Sam!”

“Oh ok ummm..” you introduced yourself.

“It’s nice to meet you, despite the circumstances.” He laughed, his laugh was loud and genuine. 

He didn’t seem like a serial killer so you let your guard down slightly.

“What are you doing all alone out here in the dark?” He asked seeming genuinely curious.

“It’s the result of my bad planning” you sighed.”I was going on a hike, but I didn’t bring enough water and didn’t judge how much daylight I would have correctly.”

“Hmmm,” he registered what you said, a look of thinking set on his face. “I have water back at my campsite, and you can hang out there as long as you need. I can walk you back to town in the morning.”

“Morning?”

“Yeah, you have no chance of getting back in the dark.”

“Oh, ok.”

With that, he decided the conversation was over and turned on his heel. He gestured for you to grab your belongings and follow him. You knew this could end horrifically, yet you followed him anyway.

He was humming some song you had heard on the alternative radio station as he guided you through the trees.

Every so often he would run his hands through his hair.

He had great hair.

You kind of wanted to reach out and touch it, but you thought better of it.

It was silky soft and chocolate brown.

His hair was probably healthier than yours.

He continued to navigate his way through the woods, and you were too busy staring at his hair to notice when he had stopped walking. You ran into the side of him and he quickly grabbed your arm to steady you.

You looked up at him “Oh sorry, thanks. Guess I was distracted.”

“It's all good,” he chuckled

You surveyed the surrounding area taking in his campsite.

“Damn man this must have cost you a fortune.”

He shrugged, “I don’t really spend my money on anything else.”

“Still…”

“Yeah, I guess it was a bit pricey.” He laughed again.

“What do you do?” you asked genuinely curious.

He raised his eyebrows slightly then relaxed “ I work in the music industry.”

“That’s so cool! I wish I was more involved in music.” 

“Oh really?” He hurried into his tent and backed out holding an acoustic guitar,” Do you play?”

You laughed a bit “Oh god no. I wish I did, I play piano though.”

His jaw dropped slightly with excitement “I play piano! It’s my favorite!”

His excitement pored into the surrounding area filling you with happiness.

“Play for me on then!” you gestured to the guitar “I want to hear you play something.”

He looked up at you a little shyly “Ok.”

He sat down in a chair, allowing you time to get situated.

“Ok don’t laugh at me.” He gave you a pointed look.

“I promise” you declared with both your hands in the air.

He shifted some more then looked up at you. He blushed slightly before beginning a George Harrison song.

He plucked the strings for a moment before he began to sing.

“Everybody’s talking up a storm…”

He had a sweet voice, nothing extraordinary, but simple and steady. He rocked back and forth and you began to sway from side to side slightly.

By the time he had gotten to the last chorus, his voice had become breathy. The entire experience seemed all too personal. However, you loved it and wanted to hear him play again and again and again. He loved it so much and it was so clear that it was what he was meant to do.

You stared at him in amazement. He was looking down, hair falling into his face. He pushed his hair back and tentatively looked up at you, his face pink.

“Well… did you like it?”

You gave him an astonished look, mouth slightly opened. “Did I like it? I fucking loved it. I think you are the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen or heard!”

He whipped his head to look directly into your eyes, “You think I’m what?”

Your eyes widened shocked that you had said something. You couldn’t take it back so you decided to embrace it. “Well, I do thi-”

Sam cut you off. He stood up abruptly coming towards you.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yeah.”

He took a moment to stare into your eyes.

He leaned in brushing his fingers against your cheeks before bending down to press his lips against yours.

You rocked forward on your feet leaning into the kiss. His lips were soft and he kissed you as if he had never kissed anyone. You slowly closed your eyes and opened your mouth.

He jumped on his chance and soon his tongue was in your mouth. He was so delicate and passionate that it made you go slightly limp. He stood upright holding the bottom of your face up to his. You reached up to run your hands through his hair. It was softer than you imagined. you were taking sharp inhales so you wouldn’t have to separate from him. His hands slowly moved down grazing your neck and spine until he had his hands wrapped around your waist.

Suddenly he pulled away, gasping for air. He looked down at his shoes and then up at you. You must have looked dumb with your mouth agape and cheeks bright red. None the less he extended his hand. You took it, his hands were callused and his fingers were long and nimble. His hand fit into yours perfectly. He guided you into the tent a look of determination on his face.

@itsafullmoon

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 3 episode 1: oh god everybody's fucked up

I'm here, I fell asleep and missed the start but I'm here

lmao the immediate note-taking

ur really committing to that voice huh liam

marisha made an older character and liam said hold my dentures

STEAMPUNK JAZZY

heyyyy someone else makes the joke I picked up from a stargate episode 20 years ago

liam what was that look

absolutely love ashly's wig

sam looking like he got hit with a cattle prod

what's a sam reigel

why are we getting oscar's CV

"are they hot"

listen I saw the trailer he 100% uses that chain to beat people with

"no one calls you carey, oscar"

oh no he's hot

oh he's kotallo, that's why

the flat cap does look good on sam, I can't lie

y'all that's gay

I like cordelia's little halo

eloise best character

(maybe that's the look liam was giving ashly, eloise vs elsie)

elsie's a werewolf calling it

yesss the old people guilt trip

liam

oscar: I'm gonna punch a ghost

"you're wearing a ball gown. it's the morning."

the maw??

haha it took me until literally this moment to remember ashly is aloy, my ship is reunited

"I'm using my bullshit detector" did you get that cleared with the gm

I like the term "blood and guts doctor"

I've been watching S1G play Slay the Princess and the more they describe her the more she sounds like a Princess variant

oh no lights

liam you did that on purpose

oh Aadtika (?) is a very pretty name

"lung, heart" liver, nerves

"you have an extra house?" "you don't?"

rajan

"you slick son of a bitch"

he IS a slick son of a bitch

oh sam's being THAT character

prepared to spend three episodes threatening to punch oscar in the head and throw him in the pool

("nochi nobody read your free! livetweets" well maybe they should have)

sam doesn't watch the product

liam always wants to roleplay fish and chips

[picks elsie and raj up and shakes them until backstory falls out]

"I'll be as subtle as I can be" smash cut to him beating someone to death with a chain

the docks seems like a terrible place to play baseball

sam

did they do a dndbeyond for candela?

they did!

sam forgot he was short

"high stakes not for harm" but bc it's funny

rajan: oh I am NOT involved, you made that VERY clear

"don't waste that on me" "I agree"

I'm being gaslit bc I've always pronounced "copse" like "cope" with an "s" in it

shades of the old man at my previous psych office yelling about obama's secret weather machine

"I help by SCREAMING"

grandpa's making a wheel for it

[mabel pines voice] grappling hook!

the way sam rolls dice STILL kills me

oh good, everyone else also thinks they should fuck

"why can't we just be friends? oh right, because I don't like you."

what the fuck's a flashlight

"yeah! temperature play! :D" aabria

"do you go down my little hole" "of course!" aren't y'all divorced

oh no an ot3

don't say degloved that means something else

oh I dig that

werewolf!

lights!

were….thing!

oh no aabria's doing the voice

everything goes black, and you die

l…lights?

breathing?

how could crcw not have prepared me for this

immortal asshole oscar grimm

EXCUSE

oh he's an asshole because he gave up the non-asshole bits to bargain with death

hey sam what the fuck

oh hey ashly. ow.

thump thumps? why?

loud??

imagine if oscar coming back just freaked elsie right back into beast mode

there's another hour left of this wtf happens

yessssss "I'd take a bullet for him but I wouldn't go drinking with him" my beloved

local woman realizing that everyone around her is an absolute freak

liam's startled old man noise

"ohhh I'm not good at that"

ACTION GLASSES

wait I don't understand what he just did

oh he did a drug

little bird ;-;

his WHAT

chairsword!

it glows blue when there are nuns nearby

where's that one digital devil saga monster

I desperately need an artist's rendition of this orca-mantis-thing

excuse me

I keep missing the spelling of his sister's name

"oh god everybody's fucked up"

A WHAT built in his WHAT

augh eye stuff no quiero

is noshir lefthanded?

I kind of half-called that

"that felt like twenty. that was a season."

BEEKEEPER

"do you know you're covered in bees?"

I like my women like I like my coffee

"because yours is super chill"

liam you can uncommit to the voice

(he will not)

"drop the skincare routine"

[fallingfor-fics]

What We Were- chapter 11: You

not my gif

chapter 10

Warnings: none

Beth POV

"How are you planning on getting home?" He asked looking around and gesturing today the parking lot "I dunno...I was just so mad I didn't think that far ahead. I'm probably just gonna walk" "Damn that's kinda far" "It's only half a mile" "Well I'm gonna walk with you I walked here earlier and I don't want you walking alone by yourself at night who knows what could happen to a fox like you" "You don't have to do that I can take care of myself I'm a boss bitch" I said smiling at him and we slowly started walking "Well that is true" he said laughing. This was amazing seeing him laugh. Seeing him feel things that weren't anger or lust. I was falling and I wasn't sure what I was gonna do.

"You know my apartment is closer if you want we could go there instead have some drinks then I could drive you home if you want" Wait a minute did he just invite me to his apartment for drinks. This can't be real I'm dreaming. Wake me up right freaking now or I'll loose my shit. "I-um s-sure" "Cool it's this way" As we walked it was mainly silent the rest of the way. Just cars passing by and my heels clicking. At one point I stopped because we walked past this thrift store. "Wow" I said putting my hand against the glass and admiring this gorgeous antique pair of earrings. They were rose gold looking teardrop dangle earrings and they sparkles from the street lights.

I saw him realize I stopped and walk back to see what I was looking at. And call me crazy but out of the corner of my eye I could have sworn I saw him admiring me more than the earrings. "Yeah they are..really beautiful" I smiled and looked over seeing he was inches from me. I leaned and little and so did he. So close I couldn't bare it. I just looked into his eyes and he did the same to me. In the moment we connected and I know it and I know he felt something too. We leaned a little closer. It's happening I suddenly forgot everything I ever knew and started panicking so I just closed my eyes and breathed he must have sensed my nervousness. He leaned forward and rested his forehead on mine and sighed. "Elizabeth" he breathed barely audible. I just stayed silent not sure what was going to happen. "I...I can't. I'm sorry" he said leaning back up and turning to stare at the sky. I wanted to breakdown and cry right there. But I didn't. "It's okay you know? I get it. Cmon let's just get back to your place and then skip drinks and just take me home since we are almost to your apartment anyway." I said maturely and started to walk again "Elizabeth" he sighed sounding frustrated and torn. "I'm really sorry" "Don't be its okay" I said turning and then walking again. He caught up and we walked the rest of the way silently. Nothing but the cool breeze,my heels tapping,and the low hum of cars every once in awhile.

We walked up to his apartment complex things getting awkward a bit. "Don't you want to come in for a second to rest your feet? One drink?" He asked nicely trying to pretend what just happened didn't. Not wanting time argue or do anything to make him cold again I agreed. We proceeded to walk in to his apartment and I sat on his couch taking off my heels. He lit the electric fireplace and went and got bourbon and two glasses with ice. Our drink. I curled my legs under me and sipped the drink and looked around avoiding eye contact. He came and sat down in the chair next to the couch sipping his bourbon and staring at me look around like a shy teenager. "Elizabeth" "Hmm" I said still looking away "Elizabeth. Look at me." I slowly glanced and looked over at him he had put his drink down and was resting on his hand on his knee. "Talk to me" "About?" "Are you really ok? Because you don't seem like it. This aint gonna affect anything right? With the buiz?" "You gotta be fuckin kidding me. Yes Rio. I'm fine and yes the business will be ok since that's all you care about. I don't know if you noticed but I can't really do anything to quit or fuck it up so yeah it's fine" I said angry at this point standing up planning to just leave and get a Uber. "The business will be ok and to save you trouble I'm just gonna order a Uber thanks for the bourbon." I started to walk out He stood up quickly "no no Elizabeth I didn't mean it lik-" "You know your just like fucking Dean except a gang leader and better at hiding being a dick" "Hey! Don't say that! I'm nothing like that scumbag. I would never treat you like that!"he said raising his voice and walking towards me I backed up a little out of fear "oh really? Because your acting like him right now! You know I'm so stupid for a minute I really thought oh he is a good guy he can be sweet and kind like any human but nope it was just all fake to what? Fuck me? Just like dean? Or to make me think things aren't just in my head? Give me a sliver of hope to just take it away? Or were you just gonna fuck me take me home and know that your precious business won't be affected because you have me wrapped around your little finger and your just gonna use me just like dean does and treat me like noth-" "IM NOT FUCKING LIKE HIM ELIZABETH! I CARE ABOUT YOU UNLIKE THAT FUCKING PUSSY YOU MARRIED! I WOULD NEVER DO ANY OF THAT!" He blew up raising his arms in the air every muscle flexed and tense anger fuming in his eyes. He took a breath and still very frustrated continued "I don't like myself around you! I feel things I shouldn't for you! And I'm trying my best to hide it because you can't know! The truth is your way to fucking good for me! I need to keep this mask on so you don't know the truth or else everything is at stake! And yes I care a lot about the business because one slip and I loose everything! My son! My life! Shit!....YOU! And then I have nothing! So excuse me for wanting to fucking watch out for myself!" He let all this out and I just stood there shocked I had never seen him like this. I wanted nothing more than to hold and kiss him and tell him it's ok.

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

[charmed-asylum]

👨‍🍳#𝓕𝓞𝓞𝓓𝓲𝓔👨‍🍳

Summary: Something happening in Easter Hills. Something that effecting everyone under the surface. Could this just be a phase a trick that no one can shack off? Is this something that will pass with another or can we all be heading for destruction

Declaimer: #Foodie has some curse words, blood,cat fight, mentions of bullying and eating disorder. Also, I do have dyslexia who happens to do her own proof reading so be easy with me!!! 

A/N: This chapter is a filler before things start to go to shit in the next one. Let me know what you think or want to be added to the tag list. xoxo Tia

MASTER LIST // Previous CHAPTER 2

Tagged: @weapinggwillowss​ @kittykatlow​ @alagalaska @deansblackbeauty​ 

The journey to school was a blur. I don’t know how or by what grace of god but I made it come Monday. It has been one hell of a week but that be an understatement. In reality, it wasn’t just this week it was these last month or so. I tap my number two pencil a few times against the desk waiting for my name to be called. Ms. King was an older lady full proud of the fact she been teaching since 1968. While it was an achievement to the only thing she to show was  13 cats waiting for her at home. The simple 10 minutes routine took her much longer and left us 20 minutes to cramp everything in. Today this lovely dry hot day was pushing 22 minutes. Taking a deep breath I look away from the heart diagram and look up to see what was taking so long. Class of normally 27 students was a minor fraction of 18 if that. I would think nothing of it but as I chew on the nasty no taste but death eraser it hit me. It was the same thing for all my other class different students were missing, I heard principal Ratchet mention the flu or mono. Just did not feel right.

Eraser still hanging from my mouth as I think of that day. Mind rush back to sitting in the back of the ambulance. Flashing blue and red light blur my vision only clear thing was KP looking like a superhero. His huge rough hands play in his hair as he let a huge breath out from his chiseled chest. Eyes darting back from the black bag and the sheriff. I was gonna speak but KP knows what is best and having me talk wasn’t it. Men stuck in his ways talking to the freak was never useful. The only words that came from his mouth addressed to me were,” Second time in a month you got something going on with you and these damn woods. You doing some witchcraft or something. Weird girl”. I chuckled under my breath at the joke he was. But he was right two times in a month this time I’m alone. No parents no reassurance. Blood mix with the dirt covers most of my clothes. KP didn’t mention much just that we saw the body out of nowhere. Not that it was still alive barley but alive not that it said anything just that it was dead when he checked. The next thing I remember was me in the bathtub still in my clothes as he cleans me off. Water was mix with soap water and dirt. I practically begged him to stay not to leave with tears rolling down my cheeks eyes red with fear and pain. With a kiss on the crown of my head, he promises me before carrying me to bed. We lay snuggled together his hands holding me tightly his hands and mine laying close to my heart. By the time the rosters call to wake up the night creatures, he was gone.

Bell took me out of my mind back into reality. Slowly grabbing my thing I rush out to my locker to see if Janet picks up the note I left. Peaking over my shoulder I shield myself as I put in her combo. With a tap it open with the note still there. SHIT JANET. Besides the creepy 3 words messages, I haven’t heard from her. Just had to focus today thing on Janet.

Corner of my eye I could see few people going towards the cafeteria. I swing my bag over my shoulder and ran off to the cafeteria. Even though my lunch period was for another two periods. Pushing through the sea of people looking for her. Crazy how classrooms were getting more and more empty but the cafeteria was getting more and more crowded. Pushing people who were waiting on the growing line to get food I look around for Janet. She has been having lunch during this period and her regular one with me for a month. Turning shoulders calling she was nowhere. FUCK.

My fresh white polish nails comb through my hair as I tried to remain calm. Closing my eyes I pray to the lords for help a sign. Anything to prove  I’m not losing it once again. As I started to relax I could hear a noise a voice. Looking up I thank god before following the voice. Now before I explain to you what saw a person should know in this school I’m a freak I’m okay with it, I accept it, I celebrate my flawless in the eye of my peers. One of many things is my strict unorthodox eating habits. I have been called every word in every dictionary. Something I never wanna contribute to, Tiffany though is a 500 calories a day type of girl. Once someone gave her a regular coke and she beat the poor freshman right to ER. She screams Malibu Barbie with matching purse. Flawless. She Janet’s level flawless just with an eating disorder. This Tiffany if it wasn’t for the 5,000 purses and that annoying voice, this girl looks nothing like her. First, it was the fact all my years of knowing her she only wears a crop top and thong poking out now in size large sweater with purple unicorns and leggings, that she probably got from the local theft shop in town. I almost piss myself. Then was her plate. The fact she had a plate was a shocker.  She had two things of chili fries, a sloppy Joe, and three pudding cups. Sipping from a BIG BOY slushie from the gas station down the road. Unknown to me I was currently in front of her table mouth open till one of her minions toss a fry at me.

“ Tiffany. Hey huh, Tiff” I said still unsure.

If I was shocked before when she turned to me made me beyond doubt stun. She had a ton of acne and her face look a bit puffy from her skeleton skin-tight face not so long ago.

“ What do you want? “ One of her minions ask as she was chewing on some sour union flavor chips.

“ Have you seen. Janet today? We got a project due tomorrow and I can’t find her” I said spit balling as went on.

They look at each other and giggle. Tiffany looks at the other and like that her mood change she sat up a bit more and turn to fully look at me. With her stain shirt and food on the corner of her mouth. She looks at me with hungry in her eyes with a quick lick around her smug lipstick lips grind at me.

“ Actually no we haven’t but we were gonna look for her. Hey, you got any Trippie on you” Tiffany said with joy and lust in those hazel eyes.

Step back and put a hand to my hip. I look at her as she waited for my answer. This gosh darn drug again. The reason why I and Janet been at odds, to begin with.

“ No. I don’t take that stuff. Tried Popi. She the one who had it in the 1st place. You haven’t seen her she usually here with you during lunch” I pressed. Look of doubt of cross all four girls face. Who was spotting a similar appearance to their leader?

“ Come on. Smith your join to the fuckin hip. You must know where we can find her or some of the drugs. We ran out quicker then we wanted to. Takes longer to get it up. Help us. We do anything. Tell Janet we are willing to do anything “ Zoe said grabbing tight to my wrist. Her grip was airtight that I felt the pressure. Almost like how it was with Janet that last time. Same look in the eyes too.

Pulling away from her grip with all my might I stumble back. I look at the girls as their expressions started to change to a dead zone look in their eyes. Like they were on something. My mouth became dry my brain ache from thoughts that were running through my head. My eyes darted from one to another to another.

“ Lik-”

Tiffany ignore me and started to laugh after taking a few more bites of her sandwich. Drops of it left on her shirt one just by the corner of her mouth.

“ She not gonna tell us. She wants it all to her self. It’s fine we figure it out we are not selfish people” Tiffany said laughing between each chew. I clench my jaw till I felt something swooshing in my mouth a bitter taste.

“ Like I said. I don’t take that stuff. I care what goes in my body and I don’t trust it” I said before turning to leave. I got a few steps in before I heard more laughter. I stop and chuckle to myself what was so funny. Sound like she was mumbling something. “Excuse me” I said turning back around.

“ You know what. Why did I even ask you? Face it. Without that candy eye boy toy or your American pie girlfriend you nothing but a fuckin virgin who can even drive. Your nothing only thing you were made to do was to worship and praise others. Look at you Janet doesn’t give you any attention finally realize what dead weight you are and left you. I bet it hurts knowing that you are nothing. EVERYONE LEAVES YOU. But you are one thing. Very good at if I may say. Being a pathetic bitch. Roof roof” Tiffany said with a smile on her face and a wheeze of a laugh. I hated her I know I should not but I did. Hated that she was mostly right I hate that I let this get to me and most of all I hated I was entertaining it. It was too late I felt the tears in my eyes. So I did the only thing left to do and that was to mirror her. Show who she was I am good at pretending so much so I don’t know if my mind grew up with my body.

“ Funny you say that. Because the only thing I see is a bunch of mystery meat slops of shit. Yeah, you almost was right but you forgot about one thing. Tiffany, I’m not someone bitch I am the mother fucking  animal control. I round up all those rodents pest and I put them down. Don’t test me, ugly soul. Because next time I put you down maybe just maybe finally allow your groupies some air to think for once” I said got closer to her till I was nose to nose.

Taking my thumb I gently clean her of the sloppy Joe that settles on the corner of her mouth before rubbing it on her shoulder. A smile with victory as she remains silent from my death stare. Lips cover in raspberry flavor organic lip-gloss roll off a bit from my tongue as I move it across. Stepping back I flip up my middle finger high in the air and turn around probably too quick because next thing I know something pulls me close and punches me square in the face knocking me slow motion down to the ground. Light flicker a bit before with rainbows and glitter before it all fades to black.

Drips of water fell down my forehead. The buzzing was the first thing that caught my attention, the buzz from a circle ceiling light with a cool white tent. Buzz hypnotize me Mumbling back noise stop but my eyes remained on a poor dead fly t stuck in the filter.

" Oh, Ms. Smith you awake. That was a nasty fall. I will be back in a second" Nurse Jane called out.

The nurse’s office like this fly in a black hole stuck in the 1950s with a wall of fame for Nurse Jane prize dog. Yup, Mr. Fuzzy Bear. Elvis Presley played in the background. I look at the wall  Mr. Fuzzy Bear look completely different then dog I saw a few weeks ago. Tap on the shoulder shocks me to the core as I scream out and throw the now baggie of water into the floor by my converse. Hands shake with fear my breathing getting shorter as I hold onto the wall of trophies. Trying and failing to catch my breath. Another tap sent me to the floor crawling to the corner covering my ears and tried to control my breathing.

" Oh, I'm sorry. Ms. Smith. I was seeing if you were okay. Sit here let me get you some water" Nurse Jane said. I could smell whiskey on her breath as she spoke to me. Mix with the cheap drug store perfume they sale but no one brought due to the reaction most got.

Looking up I watch as she walks off. She had far to much hair spray that perfect her scoop with a white daisy in her hair and the white long sleeve white nurse uniform. My eyes went back to the daisy I study flowers out of boredom and that one something was off. Slowly getting to my feet I follow her to the front till I stop and see the puddle I felt. CRAB CAKES I said to myself as I got on my knees to clean up my mess.

“ That’s a new daisy huh Mrs. Cruise. Might need to clip a few and add it to the garden” I said

“ Oh, this little old thing. My little boy was playing out in the fields and found some. Next to this strange patch of grass. Probably weed. Anyway, it was the prettiest thing I have seen had to cut one of myself. But don’t let your self eat it. My poor baby eats some and well that how he ends up going to see you” She said handing out a can for the trash.

“ How is little guy anyway. Not eating any more chocolate or flowers I hope” I asked dusting off my rip denim jeans.

She looks at me strange her head tilt to the side hair staying in place. A huge grind plaster on that clown-like makeup face.

“ Smith. My baby has been with you all this week. I took my little fuzzy home and he started to act like he was from the wild. Brought him back so the good lord of a doctor can make him all better” Jane said.

I wanted to laugh because last I check he wasn’t there. Words stayed at top of my tongue. My eyes dart to her and the wall of trophies back to her.

“ Oh yeah. Ethan got hurt had to get someone over from next town over. Sure he is back to the cute button he always is in no time. If I may ask because well new doc might make a fuss where was this planet at” I asked.

“ Well, I was on my daily work out power walk so mmmm somewhere by the old wooden bridge in Lovers. Such a pretty sight” Jane said. Before I can speak the phone rang. I slipped out as she turns to answer it.

I look in my hand was the white tissue with the daisy I snatch off of her. Something was off. Maybe if Janet didn’t want to tell me I figure it out myself. Something was wrong and I attend to figure it out one way or another. The first stop was to work.

Most don’t know because my family likes to keep it hush back before Ethan came into town my dad family own Easter Hills Animal Hospital for over 60 years. Still does as a private owner. Ethan was like the fun aunt and each time I had nowhere to go she would sit me on the desk and teach me things. The first animal I cut open was a raccoon at the age of 7 with Ethan of course helping me every step of the way.

Lights in the hallway were dim fluorescent lights. With my phone in my hand, I tap on the flashlight and slowly walk into the back. Maybe I can check a few of the animals and the daisy I snatch to see if anything was similar. BING BING I glance down to my notifications to see a text from KP. Asking me if I am okay. I cared about him but there was too much at state. I need to know. Call it a hunch.

It smells like trash and cleaning supplies for some reason. Like the hardcore, stuff police use to clean a crime scene. I should know each night I clean the operation rooms and front area. The stuff we use was the general store brand. And it smells and looks too perfect. The new vet hasn’t arrived yet, so who did this? The keys dangle from my left hand hitting me as I walk down to the back where the files would be at. I just had to check to see if the dog was still here. As I got close something wasn’t right. There was a brand new lock on the door. I was here not so long ago this heavy-duty lock wasn’t here. Clipping the keys to my hip I glance around before I tried to jiggle at the lock. No luck. Looking around I tried to think on my feet. Shit. Lending against the wall  I see a light on in Ethan office. Alright, that can work. Pocketing my phone in my back pocket. I sneak into her office.

The walls were cover in wine red wallpaper with cherry dark chocolate wood floors. Her office looks nothing like the one you would assume a veterinarian office would look like. Everything from the desk to the chairs was expensive something Ethan insisted. There was a black bookshelf that lay against the wall with matching black gold nods desk. Chairs that were a whopping 2,000 each sat perfectly insight. Awards plastered on another wall with pictures of her many accomplishments. She looks print-ready perfect. Along with all her pictures was one in the corner row of her with my parents when I was younger. I remember that day like it was yesterday. The first day she started almost 10 years ago. She had a short boy cut with dyed blonde hair that made her features pop. I didn’t know much about beauty but she and my mother are what I imagine. Most look at Mona Lisa or Marvel statue for reference me I had two prime examples just for myself to see each day. Kinda like what I felt when I saw KP for 1st time 6 years ago. For so many years  I was lost in the woods unable in away to find my way home. At first, it was Ethan and Janet who hold me close then shortly KP. 

A loud bing drum though my ears. Clinching onto my ears I start to breathe again. Calming myself before I slip again. I had to focus. My eyes gaze to the computer. Ethan was many things but OCD was one. She always had copies full of details. I couldn’t get into the back room but maybe this could work. I rush over almost knocking over a picture of Ethan's two older daughters to the desk. Shaking the mouse I wait till the computer comes alive. My left hand cradling my face biting my thumbnail. Taste is nail polish with taste funny but I chew and spit it out without thought. CRAP. Password. Taking my hand away I tap the keyboard. It could be an endless list of it could be one. Sitting back in the plush comfy desk chair lean back and rock back and forth. Great way to putting all those AP and college courses to good use I thought to myself. Tapping my sneakers against the wood floor I loosen my messy bun and run my fingers through my hair. My ring KP gave me tangle through my hair. I stop thinking and reach to type something in quickly. WINE. Nope, crap. Pulling out the draws I look around for something. A hint clue maybe like many older people password somewhere.

While her office was perfect these draws were nothing like it may be the OCD part was probably the wrong word. It had five draws: 1st had simple office supplies and a pill bottle of viagra, 2nd had appointment book and business card old open bag of photo chips, 3rd had a prepaid phone, key to the safe, and thing of condoms. 4th one had a bottle of cheap whiskey, two glasses, and a few files full of pictures and post it’s. The draw in the center didn’t budge. Feeling around the smooth polish surface I felt something off. Stretching down a bit more I felt it. A huge grin spread across my face as I grab and quickly tried to open the back door with it. Still, it did not budge. Running back I did not see the front door was wide open letting in a cool breeze. Driven by excited I tried for the desk draw and heard a click. Opening it. I saw a phone book and a journal and right on the front corner in a bright pink post-it was the password: 2HOT4THISISH. 

My laughter was cut short when I heard heavy foot shuffling outside the crack door. I pause and tried to figure my next move. With my eyes on the door, I quickly shove the papers from the files in my bag. The journal replacing it with a book another that was on the table and putting everything back to what it was. Before I could slip out the door open with a loud creak sound. Panic took over and I quickly bundled tight under the desk with my legs squeeze tight to my chest a gentle rock not make a sound. I could hear wheezing. My eyes were full of tears as I tried not to panic. Who could it be? My eyes drift off to the side and I could see a pair of Black Jimmy Choo nearly 3 feet from my hand. I quickly move it and watch the shoes. It was there for another 10 maybe 15 minutes before I heard a rattle of keys and shoes walk away. Towards the end hallway I heard some more noise but this time it was from the back door I tried to open earlier. Whoever it was the person did whatever to the lock.

I jolt awake from the sound of my phone going off. I glanced down to see it was KP. And it was going at 11 o’clock. Fudge I slowly got up from the floor and sat in the chair.

“ Hey baby I’m so sorry I got lost in my work and fell asleep” I said rubbing my eyes.

I could hear a deep breath in and I could imagine he was rubbing his forehead with a thick strong finger.

“ Sweetie. You had me worried. I had to hear from someone else you got in a fight with that toothpick girl. Tiffany something. Why didn’t you call me” he asked with a bit ignored.

I look around at the office and back at the computer it was still on. I rest the phone in the crook of my neck and type in the password.

“ I know I didn’t want you to worry. I’m sorry. I should have told you. Do you wanna snuggle tonight Phillip. We can snuggle and I can give you kitty licks or something” I said trying to get him to lighten up. The home screen came up. There was normal stuff internet, virus protection filed, a few others. As I waited I click on to each and look to see what I can find.

“ Oh really. You know I love your kitty licks Issac. I gotta stay in late today probably till about 2 in the morning. But I can still come over. For some snuggle, if the offer still open” KP tease.

My smile drops when I saw something I didn’t mean to click. It had pictures and pdf of things I never have seen before. I hold the clicker to print everything out.

“ Of course. You know where the key is. Just bring some milk if you come. Mr. Cereal cruncher uses the last bit the other day” I said with a giggle.

“ Will do. Sorry I been distant. Perks of small ass town are not many folks to call if there a crisis. I never get how a town of 203 people can have a police unit of 12 people which includes the old man club who just sleeps in the police car. One day this mentality gonna bit them in the ass baby. Baby are you still there” KP asked.

I wasn’t listening but instead reading what I found. It was my reports I send for. For the drug, dog, and something unknown. I glance at the date and it was of a few days ago. Each had this strange code at the end of each page.

“ I’m sorry about that honey. You know this town stuck in time. I know things are hectic with you. I wish I could make it perfect like the way you are. But I can only be your snuggle bunny and talk to you and be here for you” I said packing my bag and looking some more.

“ That’s all I ask for baby. My beautiful snuggle bunny. God your -“ KP stop talking and shot out to someone. “ Huh. I gotta go another fuck up animal. Just pop up by lover lane” KP said disappointed.

“ It’s okay. Hey, hasn’t it been a lot of that lately? We don’t get those anymore. You cheating on me with another animal lover” I teased. It was silent only I could hear was a deep breath from the other line.

“ I am joking. I’m gonna be wearing your favorite plaid shirt to sleep. I love you. Stay safe for me please” I said in a mouse-like whisper.

I need this stuff. Looking in my bag I pull out my key chain for my USB drive. I looked around before plugin it in and copying all the files. As it got to 100% I quickly unplugged it and fix everything to was before I came. My bike was a half-mile away hiding behind trees and some branches. Midnight sky dance high. Times like this I would stop and lay on the road and look up now I’m filled with this void. This feeling was creeping from the corner of my eyesight. Feeling of claws pulling at your flesh. Ahead I could see some birds flying south. A huge flock like it was on my date. They always know I wish I could just have left with KP and not look back. Even with that would I be escaping the danger or welcoming another.

I sat Indian style on the floor with a pencil in my bun and a yellow highlighter in my mouth. Looking over the papers and files scattered across. The more I read more I could tell something wasn’t right.

“ Baby why are you up ?” a voice said for behind me. I jump up almost choking on the highlighter falling in the papers behind me.

KP stood tall with his sleeve rolled up to show his god-like muscle hairstyle slick back looking like a Ken doll.

“ Sorry homework” I said looking up to him. He chuckled and bend down on one knee to get a better look at me. He took my hand and slowly help me up in. I could smell the coffee from his breath mix with some gum. He smokes even though I told him how much I hated it. More he smokes a brand that not even available anymore. Which made me madder at the money he spent.

“ You know you keep it up with the donuts and cigarettes your not gonna be able to promise me that forever. Mister” I said with a bent brow at him.

With a finger, he played with my hair a bit before meeting my eyes. Sweet sparkle that makes anyone weak to the knees and a smile to match. Coming closer he kisses me with such hunger. I reach for the back of his neck to help me out as I deepen the kiss. Til I taste the cigarette and stop.

“ No kisses till you brush your teeth. Yucky “ I giggle in his neck. My hands still playing with his neck hair. His hands move further down my back till it reaches my rear.

“ But I’m sleepy. I don’t wanna. You said you are my snuggle bunny” He said with his puppy eyes. I hit his rock hard chest playfully before pushing myself backs away from him laying on top of the papers so he couldn't see it.

“ And we will when you brush your teeth. Or you can quite” I said with a fake shock face.

He laughs and walks to the bathroom join to my bedroom. I turn to watch as he walks off. God his butt was a thing of beauty.

“ What type of work are you doing “ He asked from the bathroom.

I slowly got up when I heard the water and quickly move all the papers and shove them in my bag.

“ Research paper for history. You know how Mr. Burns is a pain in my buttocks “ I said checking around for anything else.

KP wall out with a mouth full of mouthwash gave me his serious look. I walk over to a bin under my bed full of some clothes for him and toss him over some sweatpants. Getting under my blankets I waited for him to come out. My cell started to ring from my bedside table. Reaching for it I answered it and walk out to the hallway.

“ Janet is that you. God, I have been worried” I whisper into the phone. Nothing.

“ I forgot you quite. Tiffany came at me looking for you. Be proud I told her off” I laughed. Still nothing.

“ If you are in trouble I can help. And hey if it’s something legal then fuck it. You are my friend I can talk to KP. He here..hello” the phone click and I heard a dial tone.

“ Who was that” KP asked standing in the doorway arms cross over each other.

“ Janet. She has been calling and saying nothing. I’m worried “ I said looking up to him. He pushes himself off and wrap his arms around me and squeeze me tight. Tears fell onto his bare chest.

Master of Puppets began to blur though the tiny radio. Fiddling around I press onto the snooze buttons. KP was still sound asleep with his arms wrap around my small of my abdomen. Head in the crook of my neck snoring. I glance back and kiss his forehead smiling. The clock read blink 6:03. Taking his hand I slowly ease myself out of the embrace and out of bed. He snuggled into my pillow and started to snore once more. Flipping my alarm off grab my outfit I had plan night before and headed into the bathroom.

It still early so I decide to open the windows to let some fresh air in. After a few minutes, I hop in. I scrub some shampoo in my hair and hum this morning song to myself. I reach back and let the water hit my face run down to the rest of my body. Taking the dirt and worried away. A cheep cheep stops me as I tried to figure out what it was taking out last bit of conditioner. I felt something coming around me then more cheep cheep. I wipe my eyes to my surprise I saw a bird no five maybe more in the shower with me. I tried to move but more I did more they attack me two in my hair other hitting me with its wings. My breathing started to fall short as panic set it. I tried not to scream thinking to all the safety videos I would watch growing up but it didn’t work. I tried pushing away shooing them but still nothing. The anxiety got so bad that after trying to hold it in I scream. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. They kept attacking me this time pecking me over and over. Taking my hands I tried to push then away. Still, they came after me. I grab for the shower curtain tight trying to find some escape. AHHHHHHHHHHHHELP. With one last scream, the curtain I was holding onto with my dear life suddenly gave. Suddenly everything faded to black. The only thing I could hear was the birds still chirping. 

[damn-behzinga]

“Dad, Can’t You Hear Me?”

ETHAN PAYNE CENTRIC

Summary- Ethan opens up about his dad, the Sidemen don’t realise how truly scary it is.

Warnings-  ABUSIVE PARENTS, swearing, my terrible writing, PANIC ATTACKS

masterlist

"Do you miss your dad?" JJ asked in character. Ethan's mouth ran dry.

"No." He replied. "He's a prick."

"How would you know?" Vik commented. "I thought he left before you remember?"

"Yeah, I couldn't imagine not knowing my dad," Simon added.

Ethan suddenly felt a phantom hand at his neck and he reached up to feel nothing there. He felt overwhelmed by the idea of his dad that haunted him in and out of his dreams. He felt tears reach his eyes as he remembered what his dad did.

"Get this off me," Ethan whispered, voice trapped in his throat.

"What?" JJ asked, going out of character. Realising that something was wrong with his friend.

"Get this fucking thing off me!" Ethan yelled, pulling at the wires anxiously. The other friends flinched at the sudden violent actions of their friends. Simon was quick to jump up and help unhook Ethan. Ethan jumped out of his seat and ran to the bathroom. He sat down next to the toilet and took a deep breath.

'Breath,' He thought to himself. 'They don't know.'

There was a knock on the door pulling Ethan from his thoughts.

"Hey mate, you alright?" Tobi's voice asked through the door. Ethan didn't reply, staring into space as he recalled the way his dad lifted him and threw him at a wall. Ethan gagged before emptying his stomach into the toilet.

"Shit!" Tobi opened the door and sighed. He rubbed Ethan's back and whispered, "It's okay, let it out."

Ethan threw up again and cried gently.

"Everything alright?" The men went up to the bathroom and frowned at the sight.

Ethan gagged again and took a deep breath.

"You eat something weird?" Josh asked.

Ethan shook his head, "No, sorry, just need a moment."

"What happened?"

Ethan took a moment as Vik brought in a cup of water. He took a sip and thought for a second. He should tell them. It was eating him alive.

"I did lie. About my dad, I do remember him." Ethan started. "I just don't want to."

"Why not?"

"He used to push me and mum around. He hit me, a lot, and mum. He got her pregnant so she wouldn't leave him. My dad didn't walk out, he is currently serving time in prison and my mum has a restraining order against him."

"Sorry, man."

Ethan gritted his teeth. "He hit mum so hard, I had to call 999. I was a six-year-old and yet I saw my dad beat my mum until she couldn't move. That asshole beat me black and blue so many times I couldn't go to school. I remember, he grabbed me by the throat and strangled me against the wall. I was six." Ethan whimpered. "He was so close to killing me and my mum. He could've done it easily."

"Ethan you don't have to-"

But Ethan had already been opened so he couldn't stop spilling.

"I remember begging him to stop. Screaming at him. 'Dad you're going to kill me'! He kept punching, I couldn't breathe! 'Dad, can't you hear me? I'm your son! This isn't what the other dads do! You're supposed to love me!'" Ethan's lip wobbled as he recalled the memory. "I was his son and he tried to kill me! He even went as far to poor shampoo in my eyes when I annoyed him too much."

"You don't have to tell us, Ethan." Tobi bent down to sit next to his friend. "We're sorry for all the jokes we made. We never knew. We can't take them back but we'll be wearier next time, okay?"

Ethan stared at his hands. "I believed for so long that I was the reason for his doing. I deserved to get beaten."

"You know that you don't, right?" Josh said.

When Ethan didn't reply he continued, "Ethan, you are valid and what your dad did to you is not your fault. He was a horrible man who used you to get his violence out. Don't put down what happened to you. What happened to you is traumatic."

"Did you get help?" JJ asked.

Ethan nodded. "Yeah, I went to the same therapist for five years. He was the most reassuring subject to talk about. I couldn't talk to any grown man for a while."

"Shit, mate." Simon ran a hand through his hair. " We're so sorry."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not," Vik said. "He hurt you! He almost killed you."

Ethan closed his eyes and huffed out a laugh. "The thought of him makes me throw up, how bad is that?"

"You went through a trauma, people react in different ways to that," Vik said. "If you ever need to talk. We're all here."

"Thank you." Ethan took another sip of the water. "Sorry, let's just keep filming." 

"It's alright. Take a breather and we can get back to shit." Tobi muttered.

"It's fine. I'm okay." Ethan said.

"Can I ask you something?" Harry asked. Ethan nodded, eyebrows furrowed. "That time we went out dinner and you refused to go to the bar? Because of the bartender?"

"He looked like my dad." Ethan stuttered. "I- I couldn't get near him."

Harry nodded.

"It just happens sometimes," Ethan explained. "I get overwhelmed, I need to leave and so I go. Sometimes I have panic attacks over it and need to be alone." Ethan shrugged.

"Just let us know next time," Josh whispered. "We're here for you."

Ethan nodded slowly and rubbed a hand over his face.

"Shit. Give me a moment to clean myself up and I'll be back, okay?" Ethan smiled and stood up. The men nodded and walked away. Ethan stood up and looked in the mirror. He had just told his best friends his darkest secret. He felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He felt relieved.

----- They were being swarmed by fans out in the street and Ethan was already feeling overwhelmed. They were yelling at him to take photos when one boy no older than twelve asked him about his dad. 

"Why did your dad leave?" The boy asked. "Is it because he's a bad person?"

Ethan felt all his breath leave his body. Tears clouded his eyes and he searched for any of the other Sidemen. His hands shook and moved his way towards Simon.

"Excuse me." He pleaded to the crowd. He whimpered and tapped Simon's shoulder. Simon instantly knew what was wrong and helped move out of the crowd and somewhere private.

"Someone asked why my dad left. There was so many of them." Ethan whimpered. His breaths quickened as he fell to the floor in the bathroom. Simon panicked and put to the group chat that Ethan needed help.

Simon tried to speak Ethan through his panic attack. But Ethan couldn't hear him. All he could hear was the thumping of his heart reminding him that he was alive, it was right in his ears. Ethan suddenly pressed his hands to his ears and rocked back and forth.

Simon reached for Ethan's wrists but he flinched away as the other men walked in.

Josh immediately knew what to do and sat behind Ethan and pulled him down to rest against his chest. Josh exaggerated his breathing so Ethan could feel it.

He took Ethan's hand and squeezed it to ground him. Ethan followed along slowly and tried to regain his breath. He began getting frustrated and scratched anxiously at his wrist. Josh once again pulled Ethan's wrist away and place it on his side.

Vik was reciting breathing exercises for Ethan to follow along to. "In for four, hold for five, out for six."

Ethan took a shuddering breath.

"They know." Ethan shuddered. "They know something about dad! They keep asking about him." His sentences came out in simple huffs of breath.

"Don't talk about it now," Simon said. "Wait until you've calm down."

Ethan took a few deep breaths and shook as he calmed down. Vik and Josh continued to guide Ethan through his panic attack. Ethan stood up slowly and looked at the mirror.

"Shit." He muttered. He turned on the tap and threw water in his face.

"Sorry guys," Ethan said softly.

"No worries. You did the right thing coming to me." Simon smiled.

"I almost cried in front of those twelve-year-olds for fuck sake." Ethan threw his hands up and covered his face.

"Cmon mate. I doubt anyone noticed!" Simon pointed out.

"Where's Harry and JJ?" Ethan asked.

"They're on watch, making sure no one comes in," Josh explained briefly.

"Jesus, you trust them?" Ethan huffed out a laugh.

The men chuckled before Simon squinted his eyes.

"So, what caused that out there?" He asked.

Ethan looked down, avoiding eye contact. "A boy asked about my dad and asked if he was a bad person. They know something."

"It's just kids being nosy, mate. No need to worry." Josh shrugged, nonchalantly.

"Yeah, sorry. I've been more on edge recently. He's due to get out soon, you know?" Ethan whispered.

"Shit, really? Josh asked. "Do you have a restraining order set?" 

Ethan shook his head. "Doubt he even remembers me so I haven't bothered."

"Ethan," Vik started sternly. "If you get the restraining order it might put peace to your mind."

"I'm just being overdramatic. It's fine." Ethan smiled sadly. 

"No your not," Tobi said. "You're working through a trauma, allow yourself to go through it!"

"How has it taken me twenty years to get through a trauma then?" Ethan yelled. "Fuck this, I'm going home."

"Ethan!" Tobi yelled out after the man who pushed open the door and ran out. He got into the closest taxi and drove away leaving his puzzled friends behind.

Later that night, Tobi got a phone call from Ethan. It was one in the morning and Tobi had been woken up by the consistent ringing and notifications come through on his phone.

He answered the call, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

"Hello?"

"Hey mate, um, sorry to wake you." Ethan's mumbles came through the receiver.

"You alright mate?" Tobi asked.

"Um, I don't feel safe on my own at the moment." Ethan sobbed into the phone. 

"Shit, man. It's okay I'm coming over!" Tobi quickly threw on a jumper and some shoes and ran out of the house to his car. 

"Want to keep talking?" Tobi asked as he put the phone on speaker.

Ethan let out a small cry. "I thought I could hear shit outside and mum texted me letting me know that he's out." Ethan sobbed a bit. "What if he breaks in and tries to kill me again?"

"Hey c'mon man, stay with me, man," Tobi said. "How about I get the guys to come round and we'll have a massive sleepover, yeah?"

"You make us sound like a twelve-year-old girl!" Ethan joked, sniffing slightly.

"Look I'm texting the guys now and they'll be on their way to yours as soon as possible."

"Alright." Ethan sighed softly.

"Okay, I'm pulling into yours now. Make sure your door is on latch but I'll knock before I come in," Tobi said before hanging up.

An hour later, the men had arrived and piled Ethan with love. JJ ordered pizza, Simon had put on some background music and they talked for a couple of hours about everything and nothing.

Ethan was the first one to doze off, shortly followed by the others.

When Ethan woke up, he watched as the other men slept peacefully. He moved towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. Ethan realised that he didn't need to worry about his shitty dad, he had an amazing family right there, and he knew this one wouldn't hurt him.

[the-toppat-king]

Chapter Two: Small Steps

Right groaned as he came out of unconsciousness.

He flexed his fingers a moment before opening his eye.

Wait. Where was his other eye?

Suddenly the Toppat sat up, realizing he was not longer fully human. At least half his face was now covered in metal, and throwing off his blanket, he saw that his right arm and both his legs were gone, replaced with metal augmentations. Flexing his new hand a bit, he took a breath to calm himself down.

First things first, where was he?

Glancing around, Right saw that he was in the medical wing, and that Reginald was sleeping not far away in a chair. At first he was relieved seeing the leader unharmed, but he quickly realized that wasn't entirely the case. His throat was bruised, his hair was messy and he looked like he hadn't slept in days.

Right knew the moment he looked at him that he'd been defeated.

"...Reg?"

Reginald jolted awake at the sound of his voice, face immediately morphing into one of relief. He got to his feet, apparently trying to seem dignified as he walked over.

"W'at 'appened?" Right frowned as Reginald sat down in a closer chair.

"Henry caught me." Reginald sighed. "It was either give up leadership to him or be given to the government. Thankfully it seems at least some things haven't changed."

"Once a Toppat, always a Toppat." Right forced a laugh, but immediately knew that this was a bad situation. The last time they saw Henry was twenty years ago, when they killed Terrence. Henry had run away almost immediately after, and while they had searched for him there was no finding Henry when he decided to go missing.

Not to mention he and Right had actually fought. It was only Henry thinking to fight dirty and pulling a knife on him that he wasn't hurt.

"'E didn't...'urt you...did 'e?" Right asked, grabbed Reginald's hand. Reginald shook his head.

"He had me by my necklace. The bruise is from the pressure. I don't think he was trying to hurt me, or it would have been easy from that position." The former leader explained. He took a deep breath, rubbing it before meeting Right's gaze. "That...that Henry. That's not our Henry anymore. I can barely recognize him anymore."

"Reg, it'll be fine." Right replied. "I'm sure 'e's just a bit s'aken up from everything- like those government scum sending 'im in to do t'eir dirty work."

"Right, Reginald?" Sven's voice interrupted before Reginald could reply. "Henry is in his office. You should probably go show him the ropes. He's...acting skittish, for lack of better words."

Right groaned. So much for soothing Reginald's fears.

_________________________________________

In hindsight, Right wasn't sure what he expected.

At first when he saw Henry bent over a desk, muttering to himself with Terrence's old Top hat on his head, he thought he was seeing a ghost. Terrence could have never denied that Henry was his son.

"With Charles and the General this might be difficult." He was muttering in a hoarse, weak voice. Henry didn't use his voice much, but Right didn't think speaking should sound so painful. "I could probably drop them someone rural and lay low a few weeks, but that might piss off the Clan. But if I keep them with us the Government might come for them. Or at least for the General. Either way the Clan has to lay low and they're pissed that I saved two government officials instead of just letting-"

"Sir?" Sven spoke up.

Henry jolted, turning around, back to silence. Right rolled his eye, stepping forward. "'Enry, we ain't strangers, don't act lik-"

Suddenly the leader was on his feet, body tense. Both Right and Reginald froze, taking in his body language.

He looked like a cornered animal, every muscle tense and ready to either fight or flee. He glanced around for a possible exit before his eyes settled back on Right, Reginald and Sven, clearly untrusting. First Right felt nearly uncontrollable rage. What the fuck did those assholes tell him to make him act like this?

Henry must have noticed, because he took a few steps back, eyes narrow.

Second, Right doubted his earlier statement of "Once a Toppat, always a Toppat."

Toppats didn't act like this. They were typically dignified, cool under pressure. If they needed an escape they looked for one without giving themselves away. They didn't stand tense, waiting for the enemy to make a move before they reacted. They either shot or they got the hell out of that situation.

Their Henry acted like a Toppat.

This Henry didn't.

Of course Right recognized this body language. It was pretty common, especially with criminals on the street. Typically it was criminals and thieves who ran into fights a lot and so needed to be ready for a scrap.

He saw it in desperate, afraid people. The Henry he knew was neither.

Right took a step back, seeing Henry relax a little. Reginald is right. That's not our Henry anymore.

"Settle down." Reginald stepped forward this time, and Right noticed that Henry wasn't as tense. He's reacting based on threat level. He knows if it comes to a fight, he couldn't do anything against me, but Reginald isn't going to be as physical if it comes to a confrontation. He wasn't sure if he should be impressed that Henry was already taking mental notes or concerned because Henry obviously didn't trust his own high ranking crew. "Right isn't going to do anything."

"Do you see what I mean?" Sven sighed. "He can't seem to talk unless he's alone, he freaks if anyone approaches without a warning, he's acting like he doesn't know us."

Movement caught Right's attention, and he noticed that Henry was signing.

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Then don't stare at us like a deer caught in headlights!" Sven shot back. "Henry, stop acting like we're strangers! Do you really think Reginald, Right or anyone else would hurt you?"

Henry's expression went from being annoyed to being...unsure for a complete lack of better words. Sven's shoulder's slumped.

"You...you don't trust us?"

"The last time I saw any of you," Henry signed slowly, seeming unsure of his word choice. "Was twenty years ago. I was six and had just witnessed my father being overthrown as leader of the Toppat Clan and shot in the head." He took a breath before adding: "I know now that Terrence was a terrible leader. But I didn't understand at the time and I didn't know what would happen to me. I still don't."

"You're not Terrence." Right spoke up. "W'y would we 'arm you for his terrible decisions? Especially twenty years later."

"I just burst in through the window in a giant hamsterball, tried to run you over, proceeded to stab you and push you off a bridge when I got the opportunity and took Reginald hostage. That's all just from one day. Why would you all not want to kill me?" Henry's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Not to mention I was working with the government? Okay I was kinda taken hostage-"

Right glanced at Reginald, mouthing a "why did you not fucking tell me this?". Reginald shrugged in response, looking a little helpless.

"-but a Toppat would never betray the Clan in the first place. I betrayed the Clan the second I deserted it, and I did it again when I tried following through with the Government's plan. The only thing stopping me was the fact that even if they kept up their end and pardoned my crimes I don't have anything to go back to." Henry seemed to deflate a bit. "No one would be stupid enough to hire a thief infamous enough for the Government to track down. The only jobs I could find were all as test subjects."

Right could tell the gears were turning in Reginald's head, and Right was figuring it out too.

Henry wasn't wrong.

His goals here were completely centered on self-preservation. Fleeing as a child when he thought his life may be in danger(which could be excused, Right supposed, still didn't look good), likely defaulting on theft to survive, the only thing he would have known how to do(and likely continuing to do so into teenage and adult years when people saw a bratty little thief rather than a kid who didn't know how else to get by), taking the deal the Government offered him for a chance at a life even slightly more sustainable than what he had now. Even accepting Reginald's last-minute bargaining, leader of the Toppat Clan was a safer, more stable life than anything else he could do with his reputation.

Toppats didn't act like that. They were actively disgusted by people who held their own lives as more important the the Clan's safety. It was one of many reasons why Terrence was overthrown- not caring about the Clan and prioritizing his own thrill over their safety.

The Clan already had every right to overthrow Henry. They had helped raise him, yes, but that meant his betrayal left a deeper wound than a stranger's.

Trust on both ends needed to be rebuilt, and it wasn't working with the way things were currently going.

"'Old on." Right suddenly spoke up. "I need a time frame. 'Ow long was I out?"

Henry sheepishly held up five fingers.

"Five 'ours?" That didn't seem right.

"Days." Henry signed.

Ah, that makes more sense.

"'Ave you interacted at all with the crew outside w'at was necessary?" Right crossed his arms.

Henry looked even more sheepish.

"'ave you even ate?"

"I managed to make him eat when Reginald handed over leadership since he was skin and bones." Sven spoke up. "Otherwise he hasn't touched anything."

Right sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I swear to God- Sven, go get something small for 'Enry, please. Just a sandwic' or something, because somet'ing tells me this c'aotic dumbass 'asn't been eating nearly enough and 'e needs to start slow.

Reginald sighed, swinging an arm over Henry's shoulder and sitting him back down as Sven left. "Henry, you need to trust Right, Sven and I. The Clan is willing to give you a shot as long as one of us higher members doesn't decide you're not fit to lead. But that means you need to work with us and stop being self-destructive." He looked up at Right. "Hey do we have anyone with a psychology degree or something? Henry's definitely going to need a therapist."

"Excuse me, I am not a child-" Henry signed, face red.

"T'en I don't suppose you're ready to open up about w'at the 'ell 'appened before you got 'ere?" Right asked.

Henry didn't have a response for that.

"T'at's w'at I t'ought." Right sighed. "I don't t'ink we 'ave a therapist, t'ough. Could you at least try opening up to Reg first? You don't need to tell 'im anyt'ing major if you aren't comfortable yet. But we've got to start somew'ere."

Henry sighed, nodding.

Something told Right that this would not be the last conversation they had of this nature, but he supposed it was good enough for now.

[xshinytrashcanx]

JJ is in the Hospital after his Dad had beaten him. He has to stay for a while and meets a girl that suffers from amnesia after a car accident

A/N: I hope you like this one:) also requests are welcome

All those people where looking at me, like they wanted me to talk to them. But I couldn’t remember who they where. „Honey are you ok?“ the elderly men asks me. Ok he isn’t that old, probably around 50 years old but he is older then me. „Uhm yeah it’s just that I am really tired.“ I lie. „Ok. Me and Janice are gonna pick up some stuff for you so you can rest a little alright?” He tells the people to leave so now I am alone in this bright room with all that machines around me. What happend? Where am I? And most important who am I? “Miss Jackson?” A men in a white gown enters the room. „I am Doctor Blake and I am gonna ask you some questions now. Do you know where you are?” “Looks like a hospital to me?“ „Can you tell me your first name and your birthday?” No I really can’t. And it scares me. “It’s alright, you don’t have to panic.” Yeah of course not, I just can’t remember anything right now.

Amnesia. It kinda sounds like a song title, but it’s much more serious. The doctor said it could go away but it also could be a possibility that I will never remember my old life. My stepmother and my dad are crying in front of me but I am not sure what I am supposed to feel. I am mostly irritated because all those people except that I remember them but I just can’t? „Hey you look lonely“ a blond haired boy sits down next to me in the hospital lounge. „Do we know each other?“ „Sadly not but we could change that. My name is JJ. What are you here for?“ „Car accident. My name is Alaska I think. I am not really sure. It’s all a little much right now.“ the boy chuckles „You don’t know your own name? Man I thought the stuff I am getting was good.” “I have amnesia. I can’t really remember my whole life.“ „Oh“ yeah that’s what I am thinking all the time. My life is just a huge Oh moment. „What are you here for JJ?“ „I uhm.. I had an accident to.“ I can tell he is lying but I choose to not push it. He is the only person who isn’t looking at me like I failed him. „So amnesia hu? How does that feel?“ „Confusing. It’s like there is a big black hole in my brain“ His eyes are pretty, probably the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen but considering my state that probably isn’t too hard. But they are pretty, blue like the ocean but not a boring blue. They look like adventures, like a storm is coming. „You eyes are very nice.” I tell the golden haired boy. There is a little scar above his eyebrow and I wonder where he got it. “Hey J who is your friend?” “She thinks she is Alaska but we are still trying to figure that one out.“ The other boy looks at me in confusion „I got amnesia. I hope we don’t know each other and if I am sorry if I seem rude but I can’t remember shit.“ “My Name is John B” John B. He is taller then JJ and his hair is curly, also blond like JJs, but darker. “So are you two brothers or friends?” I try to carry on with the conversation “Best friends since 3rd grade. We live in Outer Banks.” Outer Banks. I heard about that. My mom, excuse me, stepmom told me we just moved there. She also said something about some Figurs but I don’t remember. “I think I live there too. At least that’s what my stepmother told me.” “Really? I have never seen you before?” JJ asks curiously “She told me we just moved there.” “What’s your last name?” “Jackson” the boys exchange some looks “What? Is something wrong with that?” “No but I have heard about your family. You guys live on Figur eight right? Your father owns some big company.” “So you are a Kook” JJ finishes John Bs sentence “A what now?” “Kook are rich and lucky bastards, sorry, people.” Well that doesn’t sounds really nice “Well I don’t feel so lucky right now.” “Yeah maybe that makes you a honorable Pogue.” What’s that supposed to mean? A Pogue? “What does my amnesia has to do with fish?” “Look at her, we got our self a little lexicon. We call our self the Pogues, the people who live on the cut.” That’s so much information at once that my head starts to hurt. “Hey but when you’re from the Banks we could be friends. I bet the other Pogues will love you.” “I think I would like that.” 

“Here Darling have some Ice Cream. Chocolate is your favorite.” my stepmother hands me a bowl. “Can you stop please? You are making me go crazy with all that shit. I cant remember fucking shit and that stupid Ice Cream isn’t gonna change anything.” I shout at her. “Alaska..” “No. I want to be alone.” It only takes a moment after my stepmother is gone for JJ to enter the room. “How is my favorite hospital buddy doing?” “Do you want some Ice Cream? Apparently its my favorite.” I hand him the bowl as he sits down on my bed. “Mh Chocolate. And the good stuff. So they still try to get you to remember anything?” “Yeah. Its exhausting. I mean I remember some stuff, little things but it isn’t much.” “Tell me about it.” JJ looks at me and there is some chocolate on his nose. “I remember stuff when I was still a little kid. I remember my Dad and my mom but I don’t remember my stepmother. And Lucy, my dog, but my Dad says she died five years ago. The Doctor says I probably wont remember some of the time before that dumb accident but I was lucky.” “We will make new memories, you, me and the Pogues.” He smiles at me. “Oh and about the Pogues, they are gonna visit me later and I wanted to ask if you would like to join? Ki will get some food from her fathers restaurant.”  “Yeah I would love too. But enough about me, tell me something about you, for example where do you got that scar above your eyebrow?” “Surfing accident. Happend when I first started. I am a pretty good surfer you know? Maybe I can teach you.” There is a knock on my door and no one else as John B himself enter the room. “I thought I would find you here man. How is it going Alaska?” “Good. Whats going on in the world outside of the hospital? Another fight with the Kooks? I want to know all the dirty details.” John B has been visiting JJ every day and we would hang out in the Lobby, my room or JJs Room. “Nah they wont mess with us now that the kook duchess is one of us.” Kook Duchess, yeah. My father owns a pretty big company and apparently he is one of the richest man in Outer Banks. And in some sort of way that makes me the kook duchess, but I couldn’t give less of a fuck. “So should I tell the others that we are here or are we gonna annoy the shit out of JJs Hospital Roommate?” “Tell them we are here. I cant stand that old man.” So a few minutes later there are six people in my room. Me, obviously, JJ, John B, Kiara wo told me to call her Ki, Pope and Sarah Cameron who seems to know me. “SO from where do I know you?” “Oh we had some classes together. But only for like, two months.” There is a awkward silence till Ki pulls out some take out boxes. “I got Burgers and fries for you two. JJ told me the hospital food is disgusting.” 

“So how was Therapy?” JJ asks me after I come back from what feels like a thousand different therapies. “Dumb. I feel like I only have one functional brain cell. Dr. Blake told me its a common thing that I might get dyscalculia or something else but its so annoying. Like I see the numbers but I cant understand them. Its like I forgot what they are.” a deep sigh escapes my lips. “And did something good happend?” “Well I painted.” I show him the picture I made. “That’s a eye.” “Yeah. It is your eye. Thats the first thing I saw when you sat down next to me. You eyes are so pretty.” A chuckle escapes his lips “Yeah you told me you liked them. I like the picture. Its good.” “You can have it. Its your eye after all.” I hand it to him. “So know you tell me, how is that knee doing? Are you gonna be ready to show me how to surf when we get out of this hell hole?” “Pretty good, Doc said when all the swellings go down and the infection goes away I am out of here. It’s the only thing that keeps me from getting discharged.” “Thats great JJ.” “It sure is.” I hear Doctor Blake at the door. “Here for the daily check up?” “You know I am Alaska. How do you feel?” “A little stupid but beside that I am fine and I am sure I would be even better when I could get out of here.” He laughs “Yeah I am sure thats right. Maybe we should discharge both of you next week on monday? I heard JJ wants to take you surfing?” I look at JJ who has a wide grin on his face “Wait you knew didn’t you? Does my father know?” “They have been informed, yes. I leave you kids alone know, I gotta take a look at the old man.” He winks at us before he exits the room. 

“Hey how are you.” I say as I stumble in JJs Room. But he isn’t alone. There is a couple with him, probably about the age my father is. “Oh excuse me, I didn’t know he had visitors.” “You must be Alaska. We are Popes Parents and JJs legal guardians.” “Yeah. Alaska. Thats me.” I say, hoping I didn’t knew them before my accident. I still feel awkward about the fact that there are people that know me when I don’t know anything about them. “Are you okay darling?” Popes Mom asks me. “She suffers from amnesia and meeting new people makes her uncomfortable.” JJ explains. “Oh I am Sorry. We can leave you both alone if you want I mean we talked about everything we needed to talk about right Boy?” Mr. Heyward looks at JJ who nods. “Did they hurt you?” I ask him when they are gone. “What? No! What do you mean?” “When we first met you said you had an accident but I knew you where lying and your reaction right now shows me that something happend so if they hurt you JJ you have to tell..” “It was my Dad.” he interrupts me. “He is a alcoholic and a junkie and he gets really mad sometimes. And he just takes it out on me. John B had to get away for a few weeks so I took my fathers boat and he kinda sunk it. I was used to be my fathers punching bag but he would always stop after a few hits and this time he just didn’t. I just remember waking up here with all that injuries. They said they would like to keep me here for a while so my injuries heal nicely and also to make sure I am mentally ok cause u know, nearly getting killed by your own father isn’t something that happens every day. The Heywards talked to CPS so I could stay with them till I get emancipated so I don’t have to leave the island.” A tear rolls down his cheek. “I’m sorry J. I didn’t wanted to push you.” “You don’t need to be sorry ok? I love how you care about me. I love everything about you. Being with you is like finally being able to breathe again.”   

[cycwrites]

Switching Gears Part 4 - Dinner Admissions

Words: 2600 (Is this the shortest thing I’ve ever written that wasn’t a fic tease?)

Rating: M (Eventually. I think.)

Also on AO3 and FFN

Tumblr Master Post

A/N: Thank you to @tiny-maus-boots for all the encouragement and beta things. 

-----------------------

~S~

“Hey, Chloe.” Emily said as she let Chloe into the house. “Stacie’s in the kitchen still.”

“Oh god, it’s her night to cook? Why didn’t anyone warn me?”

“Ha ha.” Stacie looked over the pass-through counter toward the front door. “You love my food so shut up.”

“She’s making spaghetti; even she can’t screw that up.” Emily laughed as she closed the door.

“She can if she’s making the sauce herself.” Chloe shrugged off her coat and draped it over the couch as she walked into the living room. “Which you have clearly forgotten.”

“Oh. Right. Yeah, I blocked that.” Emily walked to the counter and sat down.

Stacie frowned at them both. “That was ONE TIME in college. So I forgot I’d already added salt to the sauce. Sue me.”

“Five times.” Chloe took a seat next to Emily. “Or was it six?”

“It was midterms!” Stacie picked up a spoon and dipped some of the sauce out of the pan. “Here. Zip it and try this.”

Chloe grinned at her. “I trust you.” Stacie just waited and finally Chloe rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She opened her mouth and Stacie sighed but lifted the spoon to her lips.

As Chloe leaned forward to take it into her mouth Emily made a face. “Gross. If I didn’t know you two as well as I do, I’d think you were flirting.”

“Poor sheltered child.” Stacie pulled the spoon back while Chloe licked her lips. “We really do need to find you someone if you consider that foreplay.”

“It’s because you two make everything look like foreplay.”

“Why thank you.” Chloe fluttered her eyelashes until, laughing, Emily pushed on her shoulder. “Okay okay. Yes. The sauce is perfect, Stace.”

“Ha.” Stacie gave it one more stir. “Should be ready soon. Noodles are a cookin’ and I just put in the garlic bread.” As she turned around Chloe sighed.

“Please tell me that is not what I think it is?” She pointed at the end of the counter on Emily’s other side.

“That’s not what you think it is.” Stacie parroted back.

“Bullshit. That’s another one of Aubrey’s bells isn’t it?” Chloe held out her hand. “Gimme.” Emily dutifully placed it in her palm.

“That’s not what you think it is,” Stacie repeated while inwardly wishing she’d thrown it away earlier.

“When are you going to stop making me an accessory?” Chloe hit the lever and the ringing sound made Stacie’s jaw clench.

“When she stops chaining my bike to the rack.” She closed her eyes when Chloe gave it another half ring. “Can you please stop doing that?”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chloe’s finger hovered over the lever. “Am I triggering you?”

Emily leaned over and stage whispered. “When I rang it, she threatened to shove it up my ass, if that’s any indication.”

Chloe laughed. “Well there’s an image.” She handed it back to Emily who carefully put it back where it had been. “Seriously though… you have to stop stealing it.”

“When she stops chaining my bike to the rack.” Stacie repeated.

“Are you just going to repeat everything twice?” Chloe leaned on the bar.

“Maybe.” Stacie kept one eye on the stove. “I didn’t start this, Chlo.”

“Yeah, but you’re the one committing theft.” Chloe was using her rational voice and it annoyed Stacie because she couldn’t even argue against it.

“She calls the cops on me I’ll call them on her.” Needing something to do she turned around and opened the cupboard to get the plates and wine glasses.

“For what? Harassment?” Emily held up her hands when Stacie shot her a look. “Don’t give me that look. Chloe’s right – if anyone is going to get in actual trouble over this, it’s you.”

“’Sorry officer, she started it’ won’t cut it, you know.” Chloe sighed. “And I know I joked about this before, but if she decides to go full vindictive – which yes, I don’t see her doing, but if she did – they’re going to want to see the security tapes and I don’t want that association.”

“Why are you being all logical right now?” Stacie handed the stack of plates to Emily who began to set the table. “Are you really worried?”

“Yes but no?” Chloe shrugged. “But it’d be nice if you guys could somehow form a truce.”

“I haven’t even seen her since that day.” Stacie pulled out silverware and handed it over when Emily reached for them. “I don’t know how we can form a truce.”

“Well,” Chloe said reasonably, “the next time she chains your bike to the rack – don’t steal the bell.”

“But then she wins!”

“What – exactly – is she winning?” Emily asked as she set down the last fork.

“I don’t know.” Stacie threw up her hands. “But it’d drive me nuts if I let her.”

“Not even for me?” Chloe batted her eyes and Stacie was startled into laughter.

“God, not the puppy dog eyes. You’re a cheat, Chloe.” Stacie rolled her eyes, already weakening.

“Only when necessary.” Chloe leaned further over the counter and looked at the stove. “Uh, if you don’t take that off the burner, we might be having plain pasta.”

“Shit!” Stacie turned and lifted the sauce pan while turning off the stove. “Alright, no more distractions or we’re having pizza again.”

The next while was spent putting the final touches on dinner where, thankfully, Chloe turned the topic away from bells and chains and started talking about the progress one of her newest teen classes was making. By the time they were settled at the table Stacie’s hackles had gone back down and she felt calm again as they ate.

“I… did… actually see Aubrey a few weeks ago, you know.” She supposed it was that lull in her defenses that made her say it.

Chloe stopped with her wine halfway to her mouth and Emily froze mid bite of garlic bread.

“You did?” Chloe said it carefully, as if she were trying not to spook her before continuing the motion of glass to lips.

Still not sure why she had even said it, Stacie took another bite of spaghetti. She sighed when they just stared at her. “Yeah. She was talking to Emily. I didn’t recognize her at first because she was laughing and smiling.”

Emily set down the bread as she quickly finished chewing. “I mean, that could be any day. She’s really nice, Stace.” She looked so earnest it almost made Stacie’s teeth ache. “We usually laugh over something.”

Stacie lifted one shoulder. “I didn’t hear what you were talking about or anything, I just walked past to my locker.”

“I wish you’d have stopped and said hi.” Emily looked down at her plate, her fork idly twirling up noodles. “I’d have introduced you guys properly and you could’ve made up.” She looked at Stacie from under her eyelashes. “Maybe with kissing.”

“More like she’d have grabbed a pen and stabbed me in the eyes,” Stacie said, her mouth twisting into a crooked grin.

“No bloodshed allowed on the premises,” Chloe said easily. “It’s in the contract.”

“Good to know.” Stacie picked up her glass and took a drink.

“So nothing happened?” Chloe prodded gently.

“No. I just…” Stacie stopped then decided to go for it. She knew the odds were high that all she was doing was giving them ammunition, but they were her family and who else was she going to talk about this with? “It struck me at that moment that if I’d seen her then, for the first time? I’d have walked up to greet my cousin who, because she’s just that nice a girl, would’ve introduced me. I’d have done it specifically for that reason – it’s the perfect excuse to talk to a pretty woman who caught my eye. After a few such encounters I’d either know to back off or ask her to coffee.”

She could still picture it; her attention had been caught at first by the laughter she heard when she walked in the door with lunch and then by the radiant smile that accompanied it. In that instant Aubrey had been the embodiment of someone who Stacie very much would’ve made an effort to get closer to. Hell, even as pissed off as she’d been all those months ago Aubrey had still been beautiful. Just… Crazy.

“So what happened?” Emily prodded when Stacie had been silent too long.

“She chained my bike to the rack,” Stacie shrugged. “So, you know… Fuck that.” She took a drink of her wine.

“You should.”

Stacie almost choked at Chloe’s words and Emily let out a snort of laughter.

“Gross!”

“I’m with her this time,” Stacie pointed at Emily once she’d swallowed the mouthful of wine. Chloe was eyeing her in a way she didn’t trust.

“You know I just want the best for you. I wouldn’t encourage you to pursue someone I didn’t think very highly of.” Stacie opened her mouth but Chloe held up her hand. “And I have no idea why I feel so strongly about this. But something in me tells me that you should give it a shot.”

“I’m with her.” Emily nodded. “Aubrey’s funny, smart, kind…” She stopped when Stacie’s brows knitted together in annoyance. “Nohittingwe’refamily!”

“Just… consider it.” Chloe said earnestly. “At the very least, stop stealing the damn bell, Stacie. You never know what could happen if one of you just stops being stubborn.”

“Why does that have to be me?” Stacie winced when it came out as a whine.

“Because I can’t yell at her because she hasn’t come to me with any problems.” Chloe turned back to her plate. “But I’ve slept with you and that gives me the right to yell at you.”

“She’s probably right you know,” Emily said easily.

“I’d have thought you’d cover your ears with the sex talk,” Stacie muttered.

“If you start reminiscing about said events, I might.” Emily eyed her. “But you both love me and will keep all the sordid details to yourself.”

“Unless you push me,” Stacie said; half threat, half tease.

“Good thing Chloe’s the one who’s gonna do that for me.” Emily picked up her bread.

“Damn right I am.” Chloe picked up her glass and stared at Stacie over the rim.

“I hate it when you two gang up on me.” Stacie forced herself to frown when all she wanted to do was grin.

“We know,” Emily said cheerfully.

“It’s because we just want the best for you.” Chloe held out her glass and Emily tapped her own against it. “And now that we know you like her…”

“Physical attraction alone does not mean ‘like’, Chloe,” Stacie countered. “Do we even know if she likes women?”

“At least you’re no longer denying any attraction,” Chloe saluted with her wine.

“I’ve never seen her with anyone,” Emily said through a mouthful of pasta. She paused to swallow. “I think I’ve seen her check Chloe out though.”

“Blind people would still check Chloe out,” Stacie said as she waved her hand. “That doesn’t count.”

“Aw, thanks babe.” Chloe fluttered her eyelashes. “But stop hitting on me, we’re past that.”

“You wish I was hitting on you.” Stacie rolled her eyes as she picked up her wine.

“Sometimes,” Chloe shrugged and Stacie blinked at her. “What?”

“You can’t just say we’re past that but you think about… us.” Stacie pointed at her. “While trying to get me to ask out Aubrey.”

“Can I just say that as much as I would love the two of you together, it would weird me out?” Emily interjected. “I mean, I’d get used to it, but it’d take a while.”

“I’m not saying anything.” Chloe leaned her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her palm. “We’re great how we are right now but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t occasionally think about it.”

“Oh.” Stacie said, realizing how stupid and inadequate that was. “I… uh…” She shot Emily a look who made a face at her. “Alright, me too, but…”

“I know. Water under the bridge.” Chloe smiled at her.

“How did we even get on this topic?” Stacie asked, carefully stashing that piece of information away. “Other than I am amazing and unforgettable.”

“I’ll give you that,” Chloe nodded, eyes sparkling with amusement. “As much as it pains me to feed your ego.” Stacie buffed her nails on her chest with a smug grin.

“Okay.” Emily held up her hands and made a ‘T’. “Timeout – this is approaching TMI.”

Chloe turned slightly more serious. “All kidding aside, can you just... let it go?”

Stacie pursed her lips. “I’ll try, Chlo. I’ll stop stealing the bell, even if she chains my bike again.” She pointed a finger at Chloe. “But if we meet face to face and she goes nutso, I make no promises.”

“I suppose that’s the best offer I can ask for,” Chloe said and held out her hand. “Deal.” Stacie sighed but shook it.

“Aw,” Emily cooed. “Normally this is where I’d make a joke about kissing to seal the deal but you guys might and then I’d have to gouge my eyes out with a spoon.”

“Or take pointers.” Stacie said, letting go of Chloe’s hand to resume eating. “Chloe’s really quite an amazing kisser.”

“If we were dating, that’d so get you laid tonight.” She paused, eyeing Stacie.

“Oh my god.” Emily’s fork hit the plate and she covered her eyes. “Now that’s in my head.”

‘Mine too,’ Stacie thought with an inward grin.

“Is it cheating if you’re not dating her yet?” Chloe asked lightly.

“’Yet’?” Stacie shook her head. “It’s almost like you’ve got us married before we’ve even introduced ourselves.”

“I’ve already got your colors picked out; hope you like green.” Chloe shrugged. “You two will eventually come to your senses because I’ll be an awesome best man.”

“Why do you get to be the best man?” Emily huffed as she dropped her hands again. “I’m blood family. Besides, wouldn’t it be tacky if the best man had slept with one of the brides?”

“I am many things, Em, but tacky is not one of them,” Chloe said airily. “But as it gets closer, we can wrestle for it.”

“Only if you don’t cheat this time,” Emily pointed at her. “I’m not thirteen anymore.”

“I regret this dinner invitation a thousand times over.” Stacie leaned back and crossed her arms. “Is it too late to change my mind?”

“Considering I’m almost done with my plate and am about to go for seconds, yes.” Emily pushed back her chair. “Anyone else?”

Stacie nodded and quickly spun the last of the noodles on her plate onto her fork. “Me please.” She handed over her plate with her free hand. “Thanks, Em.”

“It’s the least I can do considering Chloe and I are about to start Operation Date.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” Chloe stood up and carried her own plate to the kitchen.

“We can’t call it Operation Bike Wars because they’re already in the middle of that.”

Stacie turned and hooked one arm over the back of her chair as she looked at them. “That’s a stupid name.”

“What, you’d prefer Operation Get My Cousin A Date?” Emily made a face. “God I’m bad at this.”

“Just need some practice,” Chloe said as she waited for Emily to finish filling both plates. “We’ll brainstorm later.”

Emily walked back into the dining area and set Stacie’s plate down. “Operation Staubrey?”

Chloe looked over at her quickly, eyes full of glee. “Ooh… that has promise.”

Stacie groaned and buried her face in her palm.

This was going to be a long night.

 --------------

A/N 2: I swear, they’re face to face again next chapter. I promise!

[keepseaveyweird]

Requested: yes- a blurb with Zach where you’ve been getting blown off by him so you’re spending a lot of time with jack and he takes you to get a tattoo and Zach gets jealous of how much time you’re spending with him

Word count: 2469

a/n: hi I haven’t written in 79 years so I hope you like it!!! It’s definitely a bit longer than i blurb so if you’re into short ones I’m sorry, but if you like em longer (I have the brain of a child) I gotchu :)

“I can’t babe, I have to go into the studio today.” He told her over the phone, a frown once again taking over her face.

“But Jack and Corbs aren’t going in today?” She asked him, almost hoping to catch him in a lie.  She knew it wouldn’t work, knew even though he had been blowing her off for different reasons each day, he’d never lie, never cheat.

“We’re recording ad libs and a couple of solo parts, they don’t need to. I’m sorry love, but tomorrow I promise.” Zach said, but she knew that tomorrow would mean next week, or that tomorrow meant a measly Facetime call instead of being together.

She wasn’t sure what had happened, if she had done anything wrong or said something to make him distance himself, but she could feel the tension between her and Zach, a tension that hadn’t ever been there before. When they first met, it was an instant connection. The giggles never stopped and the conversation was endless but now it was a different story, it was small one word texts or filler conversation while they caught up with each other. It was almost as if they had lost their spark, except y/n hadn’t. y/n felt the same love for Zach she felt the first time she told him, but she was beginning to think Zach no longer felt the same.

“Oh, okay well-” her phone buzzed, interrupting her as she took it away from her ear to see a call from Jack coming in, “I gotta go Z, I have to take this call but I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, bye babe,” he said before hanging up, forgetting or intentionally not saying ‘i love you’.

y/n answered Jack’s call, a sigh escaping her mouth.

“Hey,” she said glumly.

“Okay, what’d he do this time?” Jack questioned, hearing the sadness in her tone. As Zach had been pushing her away for the unknown reason, y/n had begun to confide in Jack. Jack, who answered every call, who had the right thing to say for everything. Jack who was so good at listening it was scary, who could make even the saddest person’s day so much better, as he was quite literally the personification of the sun. Jack, who was always there for her and quickly became each other’s best friends. They had been spending a lot of time together ever since Zach started acting weird. They’d have sleepovers, go shopping, Jack taught her how to skateboard and she in return taught him how to cook his favorite meal. The inside jokes they shared brought them to tears and they held no secrets back from each other, they told each other everything, which made Jack the perfect person to rant to.

“It’s just… he did it again! Made an excuse and before he hung up, didn’t say ‘I love you,’ or give me a chance to tell him and I don’t know what to do!” she exclaimed, a pool of tears welling in her eyes. But she refused to let them fall, refused to let him do that to her.

“Okay, come over. He just left for the studio and we can hang out,” he told her, in which she agreed and quickly sped over to the boy’s shared house. It was quiet, too quiet to be the boy’s house, but Zach was gone and Jonah, Corbyn and Daniel were hidden away in their rooms. As y/n walked in, unlocking the door with the key Zach got her for their one-year anniversary which was two years ago, she found Jack at the kitchen counter, a notebook and pencil in front of him.

“Whatcha doing there,” y/n smiled as she watched her best friend deep in thought while he stared at the sketch.

“I’m getting my next tattoo tonight, wanna come?” He grinned, knowing she wasn’t big on needles being repeatedly and speedily stabbed into someone skins over and over and over again. She didn’t understand the addiction behind it, why people liked the pain, why people would cover their entire bodies in ink. Though she didn’t understand, she loved Jacks. Loved that they were tasteful, original and had meaning behind almost each and every one.  

“I mean sure…” she drifted, taking a seat in the stool next to him, “what is it?”

“Okay it looks and sounds stupid, but once the artist does it it’ll look sick, I promise,” he slid his sketchbook in front of her, showing off his half-decent drawing of five lights forming a star.

y/n raised her eyebrows, wondering if she should take back the admiration for Jack’s tattoo’s, “what’s it mean?”

“Well,” he began pointing to four of the bulbs, “these four are for Corbs, D, Jo and Zach. But this one is for the Limelights. I wouldn’t be here without any of it, something to remind me if for some reason my head ever gets a little too big” Jack smiled.

And y/n took everything back she had once thought when she saw the sketch, because picturing the reaction of the boys, the reaction from the fans and smile that would capture Jack’s face once it was done was enough to convince her that it was perfect.

So a couple hours later when she found herself sitting next to Jack, who winced now and again when a needle hit a soft spot on his arm. While the artist shaded each bulb, each detail, the two friends discussed Zach.

“I mean, I literally haven’t heard from him since he hung up,” y/n checked the time, nine pm, “I mean it’s been almost twelve hours!”

“Love, the studio is literally a time warp, a casino. You walk in thinking it’s been two hours and it’s been two days.” Jack told her, looking up at her from the table.

y/n sighed, “it’s not just today though, it’s been almost a month since we’ve gone on a real date.”

“You’ve been together three years? You still need a proper date?” Jack asked.

“No, I don’t need a proper date, but I need effort and he’s not putting any in. I know he’s busy, but so am I. I have school and a job of my own but I still find time, still make time for not only him but for you and the other three too.”

Jack thought for a moment, the only sound being the buzzing of the tattoo gun against his arm.

“I don’t know what’s going on with him, he’s been quiet around us too. Maybe it’s just stress? Or he could be having a man-period, lord knows he’s basically a girl when it comes to his mood swings.”

His comment earned him a slap on the thigh, causing the artist to laugh as he winced in pain once again.

“Okay, I deserved that one,” he laughed, “but I really think it’s just a phase. I mean it’s Zach, he’s crazy about you. Has been for almost three years and I don’t think that’s changed or will change anytime soon.” He told her, a zap of confidence surging through her body.

The conversation died, and silence took over once again, as y/n got up from her seat to look at the designs posted on the walls. Flowers, snakes, crosses, naked ladies and quotes scattered all over the walls had her mesmerized. The detail of a horses mane and the line work of simple quotes made her fascination for tattoos grow with each one that crossed her eyes.

“You thinking about getting one?” the tattoo artist asked as he washed up Jack’s tattoo, applying a bandage over it so it can heal and be admired all at once.

“Oh, no. God no,” y/n laughed. Jack laughed with her, standing up from the table.

“I think you should get one, you’d look like a badass,” he told her, an arm wrapping around her as she thought about it.

So after almost a half hour of fighting, she sat there on the table, getting the transfer of her favorite quote onto her collar bone. It was truly beautiful, a handwritten cursive font, thin but elegant, the perfect first tattoo.

There weren’t many things she was sure of that day. Wasn’t sure what was going on with Zach, wasn’t sure he was okay, that they were okay. But she was sure that this tattoo was what she needed, to push herself and to remind herself whose in control.

“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul” she whispered to herself as she looked in the mirror to make sure the position was to her liking.

“Does it look good?” she asked turning to Jack, her grabbed his best friend’s arm and shook her excitedly.

“It looks so good!” he exclaimed.

And suddenly it was happening, the slight sting of the needle making contact with her skin. The artist dragging it a short distance before taking a break to stretch the skin and get a better angle. As he went on, creating words along her bone, she came to realize why everyone who got their first tattoo never made it their last. Because though it was uncomfortable, the pain of the needle, she liked it. It was a different kind of pain, one that didn’t hurt her heart like the recent pain she had been dealing with, the constant uncertainty and the constant push away. She knew the pain of the needle was temporary, as she didn’t love the needle. But she loved Zach, and she wasn’t so sure the pain of Zach blowing her off was necessarily as temporary as she hoped it was.

When they got home, the house was still quiet, not a boy insight as they made their way to the couch to watch a movie. They were close, too close some would say, but that was them. They would cuddle and share blankets as their hands brushed past each others in the popcorn bowl and they knew it was nothing but platonic friendliness. They all knew it; Daniel, Corbyn, Jonah, their families, the fans, Zach. But Zach wasn’t so sure when he walked through the door, coming home from his studio session to find Jack hovering over her, lightly brushing his hand over y/n’s chest on the couch.

“What the fuck?” Zach said, slamming the door behind him and throwing his keys on the dining table as the two of them looked up.

“Oh hey dude,” Jack said waving with a smile, oblivious to Zach’s anger, still too close to y/n for his liking.

“Don’t ‘hey dude’ me. What the fuck is this?” he raised his eyebrows, as y/n and Jack looked at each other confused.

“You don’t like it?” y/n asked, and Zach’s eyes popped out of his head as sped around to the other side of couch, blocking the view of the movie.

“What is your problem?” Jack asked, standing up to face him as y/n repositioned herself between the two still on the couch.

“My problem? My problem! My problem is that you and y/n have been spending so much time together and now I walk in to see my best friend on top of my girlfriend! Is this why you two have gotten so close lately? Going behind my back? Thinking I haven’t noticed how much alone time you guys share? I’m stupid, trust me I know, but I’m not an idiot Jack!” Zach yelled, causing the three other band mates to peak their heads around the staircase.

Jack and y/n looked at each other, eyes wide as it clicked in both their heads. It was why Zach was so distant, why Zach was acting strange, why he was blowing her off. And they couldn’t help but collapse in laughter, tears streaming down their face as he stood their confused and the other three made their way into the living room to investigate.

“Oh, so now you’re laughing? You think this funny?” Zach boomed, suddenly becoming angry again. It only caused more laughter as their stomach began to cramp, Jack rolling on the couch and y/n already on the floor.

“N-n-no,” y/n cried, a hand on her stomach, “it’s just.”

“What?! Someone please explain to me why cheating is so fucking funny!” Zach yelled.

“SHE’S NOT CHEATING ON YOU, YOU MORON!” Jack laughed, his face against the couch cushion, “no offense y/n, but Zach, us? Together? Are you crazy? She’s like my sister!”

“Yeah? Well then what the hell did I just walk into then?” Zach questioned, crossing his arms.

“Z,” y/n said, still giggling as she moved her white v-neck to the side to show him the bandage that had pooled with blood around the ink. His eyes widened, moving quickly and sitting beside her to look at it more closely.

“You got a tattoo? You hate tattoos?” Zach said, lightly grazing it like Jack had been doing when he walked in. Suddenly it clicked in his head as he repeated the same actions, snapping his head to see a smirking Jack.

“You were just checking it weren’t you?” Zach sighed, his head resting on his girl’s lap.

“That’s exactly what I was doing,” Jack laughed.

Zach grabbed a hand of each of theirs, squeezing it hard as regret coursed through his body, “I’m so sorry, I feel like an idiot. I should’ve known nothing was going on.” he confessed, doing the quick handshake with his band mate before wrapping himself around y/n as Jack left the room still laughing.

“I’m so sorry babe, I should’ve trusted you, I don’t know what came over me. I guess I just saw how much fun you and Jack had together and I started to distance myself, thinking the worst possible situation. I’m an idiot.” He told her before capturing her lips with his. Gags came from the kitchen, as Corbyn, Daniel and Jonah sat in the kitchen, but not for long as they all rushed back upstairs like little kids who still believed in coodies.

“It’s okay, I should’ve realized how it looks to some other people, but you’re it Z. You’re it for me and I love you so much,” y/n told him with a smile.

“I’m glad, because you’re it for me too and I love you more,” Zach kissed her once more before looking back down at her new addition to her body, “I really like that, it’s so sick.”

y/n laughed, “I think you should see Jack’s, I think you’ll like his a lot more,” she smiled, as Zach replaced him on the couch to watch the rest of the movie, making up for the lost time.  

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[shawnwithlightson-blog]

The Boxer. Chapter 4

Late April 

“Soooo…” Emma started drumming her fingers on the cafe’s table.

“So….” Francesca mimicked, cutting into her crepe.

“Any plans for graduation?”

Francesca glanced up at Emma, knowing what she really meant by her question.  

“You mean a ‘party’?”

Emma sheepishly tilted her head to the right then the left before mumbling into her Irish coffee, “One might say that…”

Francesca’s mouth curved into a small smile as she was yet again remained of how well she knew her roommate.

“Sorry Em, but I’m having dinner with my family.

As expected, Emma let out a extremely unbecoming ‘boo’ that had the people sitting on either side of them, shoot them dirty looks. They sat in silence for a moment, Francesca enjoying her crepe watching Emma have some sort of internal struggle.

“Well what do you think about me throwing a little party.”

“At the apartment?” Emma hummed her response causing Francesca to roll her eyes. “I don’t understand why you insist on always using our apartment. There aren’t a shortage of clubs and bars here in the city you know.”

“What are we in high school?” Francesca’s eyebrows knitted together as she tried to understand what Emma meant by the comment. But Emma continued to say, “Those places are lame.”

“You know what I find lame? The furniture in our living being destroyed.” Francesca sarcastically remarked.

Emma glared at her. “You will never let that go will you?”

“I will not.” Francesca ate a piece of sweet strawberry , shrugging her shoulders.

“Well how about I have the party after you move out because technically I would be the sole resident.”

Emma had a point but Francesca was still worried that she was allowing a dangerous precedent to be set.

“If I am moved out and no longer your roommate, why are you asking my permission to throw a party?”

Emma tried hard to contain herself but upon hearing Francesca’s words she broke out the ever cheesy and toothy grin. She lifted her drink with the intention of toasting to something but she set the drink back down.

“Hold up. You aren’t even going to intend your own graduation party?”

“Nope.”

“That is some hardcore anti-social behavior right there.”

Francesca giggled, happily finishing her crepe. Emma continued to talk about the party, already brainstorming a playlist of ‘bangers’ and the alcohol needed.

“Jonathan and the boys like whiskey.”

‘Jonathan and the boys?’ Francesca was going to have to proceed with caution. Inhaling deeply, Francesca pushed around the last few bits of her crepe. “You going to invite Jonathan?”

“Was thinking about it. His friend got a fight but everyone knows he is going to win. Just like a buffer fight to keep him busy you know.”

Humming her response, not trusting the words that would come out of her mouth. Something was telling her Emma might be using her graduation as a front to throw a party.  But Francesca remembered that by the time of Emma’s party, she would be moved out and living quietly and peacefully on the upper east side.

All Francesca could do was smile. “I hope he wins.”

_____________________________________________________________________

May

The day was spent moving the last of her items out of the apartment. Her older brother helped carry everything out as her father stood in the living supervising the operation, taking a phone call ever other minute. Her older brother offered to take her to her parents’ place but she refused. His truck was packed and Francesca did not want to be crushed under the weight of her own personal items on her way across the island.* (island of manhattan)

Once they left, she closed her door to her room with every intention of reading, enjoying her last evening at the apartment. But she promptly fell asleep right as her body hit the bed.

Waking up, it felt as if she had slept for enternity. Her eyes immediately fell on the book, left untouched and unread just a few inches from her face. Flipping onto her back, she groaned, stretching her limbs. It was then that she heard the music. For a split second she thought it was coming from outside, maybe the people above them left their window open for all the world to hear their music. But then it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Inhaling deeply, she closed her eyes uttering a single, “Fuck.”

Her parents were expecting her and the party going on just behind her door made it completely impossible to go back to sleep. Rolling off of her bed she quickly changed into the light pink shirtdress and flats in order to look presentable when arriving home.

Lazily slinging the cross body bag across her chest, she took one last look at her now completely empty room. When she was ready, she took a moment to prepare herself before opening her bedroom door. It turned out to be a waste of time as she was still appalled at the scenes unfolding steps away from her. There was a couple making out on the couch, another not so discreetly dry humping in a doorway, red cups scattered all across the floor, and a strong scent that made her want to gag. Telling herself repeatedly to remain calm and to just keep her head down to sneak away from the debauchery.

“AW CHESSIE!” Francesca actually whimpered, knowing that she had been caught and the possibly of sneaking away unseen was now gone.

“Hey Jessie.” she shouted over the music that’s bass was so loud  she was sure the windows were rattling.

Jessie throws herself at Francesca and Francesca catches her in an awkward hug. “I am so happy you are finally done!” Her congratulations was accompanied by a cheer that a few other girls joined in on.

Francesca’s face twisted in annoyance but Jessie failed to notice, leaning in close to whisper in her ear. “Who are all these hotties?”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Francesca stated honestly. She added that Emma would know but Jessie just smirked.

“Hmm keeping them to yourself you naughty girl.”

“No, no. It’s not lik-“ she was cut off by her name yet again being shouted over the music and across the room. Francesca was surprised that she was so popular at her graduation party. Excusing herself from Jessie, promising to catch up over brunch one weekend, Francesca slipped through the crowd of people towards the kitchen.

Emma was seated atop of the counter, a small group in front of her. Emma was reaching her hands out towards her and she hated when Emma was drunk. Emma was so shameless and eager to get others to embarrass themselves that Francesca preferred to not be around her when drinks were served.

“Come here my little graduate.” Francesca was satisfied standing awkwardly off the shoulders of the guys in front of Emma. But Emma was not having it. “Come I want to introduce you to Jon’s friends.” She slurred and Francesca sighed, excusing herself as she made her way into the circle. Turning around so leaned back against the counter, beside Emma, crossing her arms across her chest.

“This is Adam, and Christopher, and this is Shawn.” Emma paused to gulp down her drink. “Shawn this is the girl you’re sharing a party with.”

Francesca turned her head to look at Shawn and she was surprised, despite the dim lighting, at how handsome he was. He was so tall that she couldn’t simply look at him but look ‘up’ to reach his dark eyes. Yet he remained silent not even offering her his hand. He just looked down at her and Francesca made a face whilst giving her attention back to Emma.

Placing her hand on Emma’s jean clad knee she shouted, “I’m going to leave I wil-“

“What?” Emma shouted with a bit more force than Francesca.

“I’m leaving !”

“No! You just got here silly billy!” Emma draped her arms over Francesca’s shoulders, wrapping them across her chest. Francesca was instantly uncomfortable and went to remove Emma’s clammy hands.

“You two should make out.” Some guy called out as he passed the circle. The boys all reacted quickly telling him to get lost, Christopher adding a hard shove for good measure.

“Would you like a drink?” Adam asked.

“No thank you. I’m on my way out.”

“But its your party!”

“Well it’s technically our party.” She states matter of factly, wagging her finger between herself and Shawn.

“Where are you headed?” Shawn inquired, taking her by surprise that he actually spoke.

“Home.”

“Do you need a ride?”

“No.” Francesca was going to add that she would be taking a cab but she thought her answer was sufficient. Quick, to the point, and a step closer to being on her way out the front door.  Shawn though keep his eyes locked on hers as he sipped his drink. She was tempted to say something perhaps a thanking for your offer or a comment about her she doesn’t support drinking and driving, but she didn’t.

“Did you win your fight?”

He smirked, nodding his head. “I did.”

“Well congratulations.”

“Em,” she began tossing Emma’s arms off of her body, “I will text you once I’m home. Saying her goodbyes to the boys, she works her way out of the circle, politely mumbling an ‘excuse me’ as she passes Shawn.

Leaving the apartment building she hailed a cab and within the next half hour was at her parents’ place. Yawning she closed her bedroom door, falling onto the tufted bench in front of her neatly made bed. Texting Emma she was safe and sound on the upper east side, Francesca was surprised when she received a reply back so quickly.

the message read:  good. 😍

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.22

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21| 22

sup

woke up feeling super drained and out of it this morning. thought maybe writing would help, but nothing was working, so we're here.

shoutout to @sunlitshowers​ because we looked up flavors of capri sun for an answer on my deh ask blog and she found so many great capri sun flavors and ads. it was amazing

i dont know whats happening here anymore but enjoy

2:45

nino: yo check out how many flavors of fucking caprisun there is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capri_Sun#Flavors

 6:23

ladybugfan2020: rip me apparently there was an akuma attack last night????? and i missed it??? oh it was on the other side of the city w/e then i got pics its chill whats this link nino?? caprisun?? holy SHIT i need 2 try alL OF THESE tag yourself im…….. monster alarm i am monster alarm

ladybugfan2020 has changed their nickname to monster alarm

6:39

nino has changed their nickname to mystic dragon

mystic dragon: what do you think mystic dragon tastes like

monster alarm: something fucking awesome

adrien: I have so many questions

mystic dragon: click the link my dude join us in this knowledge

adrien: What the hell??? Who thought that the world needed THAT MANY flavors of Capri Sun???

monster alarm: me this is amazing im living i love it hey marsh think u can pull some strings so we can get every single of caprisun ever

adrien: No offense but I don’t think my dad would be thrilled with buying Um 43 different flavors of Capri Sun

mystic dragon: did you just count those

monster alarm: MORE than 43 thats definitely MORE

adrien: Only 43 flavors are for sale! We don’t even live in the right country for some of these

monster alarm: come on rich boy!!!!! also,, nickanme

adrien: Fine fine

adrien has changed their nickname to multivitamin

mystic dragon: boy

monster alarm: why do i like you

PM between multivitamin and marinette

multivitamin: Hey Mari Guess what If we were a Capri Sun flavored, we’d be power team

8:02 in out damned spot

mystic dragon: has anyone talked to mari today????

monster alarm: not me

multivitamin: Nope

mystic dragon: do you think shes awake?

monster alarm: uh oh

monster alarm has renamed this conversation to “orange wake up mari!!!”.

mystic dragon: oh yeah thatll DEFINITELY work al good job

monster alarm: what am i supposed to do!!!!!!!!!!!!! i already tried calling she didnt pick up

multivitamin: I’ve got her

monster alarm: wait really??

multivitamin: Yeah sorry we might’ve called at the same time

monster alarm: cool see u nerds at school

mystic dragon: i feel so loved

PM between multivitamin and marinette

multivitamin: Mari Mari Mari are you going to wake up I know we had a really really late night last night I just want to make sure you get to school I’m gonna show up on your balcony don’t freak out I mean you aren’t going to see this if you’re asleep so you’ll probably freak out anyway Ok I’m just going to apologize now If you punt me to the other side of the country I totally understand

8:17 in orange wake up mari!!!

marinette: IM UP IM UP IM ON MY WAY OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPNEIG NI HER E

mystic dragon: mari!!!

monster alarm: soooo many things babe get here so we can explain

multivitamin: Get here faster Mari, I think Alya is going to explode

marinette: Fuuuucccckkkkkkkkkkk Allso I hate ALL OF YOU WE ALL HAVE M NAMES THIS SUCK S

monster alarm: i can fix this change ur nickname to elfentrank fairy drink

marinette: excuse me??????

monster alarm: just do it!!!!!!!!!!

mystic dragon: bruh

marinette: FINE FINE!!

marinette has changed their nickname to elfentrank fairy drink

elfentrank fairy drink: Are you happy???/

monster alarm: i am DELIGHTED

mystic dragon: hell yeah girl

multivitamin: Did you all know this chat is exhausting

monster alarm: MARI GET TO CLASS

elfentrank fairy drink: IM GOING

 15:03

elfentrank fairy drink: Ok Nino Why the fuck were you on the caprisun wiki page at 3 in the morning

mystic dragon: what else are you supposed to do at 3 in the monring?????

monster alarm: thats teh most valid point u could make

elfentrank fairy drink: Remind me how to leave this sky pe group And this friendship

mystic dragon: wow

monster alarm: </3

PM between multivitamin and elfentrank fairy drink

elfentrank fairy drink: We are not calling ourselves power team

multivitamin: Dammit You going to bed soon??

elfentrank fairy drink: It is??? Only 15:25??????

multivitamin: Yeah but you fell asleep during lunch

elfentrank fairy drink: Its fine its fine Im getting used to the no sleep thing for sure You got the same amount of sleep that I did!! Less!!!!!!

multivitamin: I took a nap after school before my shoot It was great It was on the floor

elfentrank fairy drink: Your life is a mess

multivitamin: So is yours bug You were sleeping on your desk chair when I showed up this mornin g

elfentrank fairy drink: LiSTEN We got back at lik e 4 I hate so many thing s Hawk Moth is top of the list Hes not the entier list because I also hate like Homework and stuff BUt hes at the TOP

multivitamin: Go to bed Mari

elfentrank fairy drink: Adrien I cannot explain to you hOW MUCH I HAV ET O DO HOW DO PEOPLE IN COMICS BALANCE BEING A SUPERHERO WITH EVERYTHING ELSE THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

multivitamin: Well for one thing they aren’t real And we are And I feel like a lot of superheroes have problems balancing but Al knows more about superheroes than I do

elfentrank fairy drink: IM GOING TO FAILI OUT OF SCHOOL EBCAUSE OF HAWK MOTH HOW DID HANNAH MONTANA DO IT

multivitamin: Hannah Montana had lots of money and also? Wasn’t fighting evil

elfentrank fairy drink: You dont know that

multivitamin: Ok that’s true

elfentrank fairy drink: Im literally Drowning in work I cant sleep I willl neve r be able to sleep again OH my go d

multivitamin: You ok buggy?

elfentrank fairy drink: No No?? I dont think so Ahhhhhhhh help IM so tired and I have all this physics whcih what hte fuck and Im literally going to break hawk mtohs face?

multivitamin: That’s relatable

elfentrank fairy drink: You NEVER breakdown about this how is that fair??

multivitamin: I mean I do Like all the time

elfentrank fairy drink: ??? Why dont  you tell m e?

multivitamin: Because I don’t like bothering people with my problems I have Plagg though and I’m used to dealing with things on my own

elfentrank fairy drink: Thats bullshit??? Im oyour friend and partner youre supposed to t ell m e this stuff

multivitamin: Ok Ok I will If you promise to go to sleep

elfentrank fairy drink: HA

multivitamin: I’m coming over We can talk about emotions because sleep deprived and exhausted is the best time to do that And we can nap I’ll try to help with physics but no promises because I wasn’t payinga ttention today

elfentrank fairy drink: Pfff Ive never paid attention to anything ayn whreer FUck typin g But thanks

multivitamin: Of course <3 Be there soon

[winterschild999]

F*cking Thicc

SUMMARY - After a drunken fuck with Bucky on a movie night you dread meeting him again this week for another movie night.(Idk, summaries are hard ok)

WORDS - 1.8 K

A/N - @topkay had this amazing dream and basically gave me the whole plot . Why do I not get these kinda dreams huh . Thank you so much babe . 

Taw @supersoldierslover you are the best . Thank you so so so much . 😘😘

WARNINGS - smut , thigh riding , apparently I curse a lot so those , Bucky’s killer thighs . (if anything should be added feel free to tell me.)

DISCLAIMER - I have never been drunk before so it might not be pretty accurate . Sorry. 

“Y/N , movie night , 10 pm .” Wanda said peeking through your door before she left. It was a weekly routine now . But you still weren’t sure if you wanted to go today .

Everything was going good until last week’s movie night when everyone had a little too much to drink while the supersoldiers and the overly confident ones had the asgardian meed .  While most of them managed to pass out in their rooms , you and Bucky stayed watching some random shit and one thing led to another and you found yourself naked , in his bed, next to him with a huge headache . 

Well it was quite obvious that you guys had drunken sex . And from that day you have tried your best to avoid him since you obviously suck at confrontation. It also looked kinda easy, which then you realised was because Bucky was trying to avoid you too .

Honestly you hadn’t seen him at all in the past week , and you knew the team had a faint idea about what was up .

You got dressed in your night shorts and a tank top. You put your hair in a pony tail before putting on a little lip balm . Okay . Calm down . FUCKK. You were pacing in your room . You still do not have the courage to walk towards the tv room and face him . I mean , what the fuck must he be thinking . What the fuck are you going to say? Do you have to say anything? You could just politely smile and talk to others , you don’t have to particularly talk to him !! Right??

You were drunk and how much ever you hoped that both of you would remember nothing in hopes of not making it embarrassing , a tiny bit of you did want to remember . And you did . Not a lot , but bits and pieces. It came  to you in small fragments that flashed in front of your eyes . You’d get a flash of his lips grazing over your neck while his fingers danced  over your panties . 

The small flashes turned bigger . The way he talked , the way he looked up at you while eating you out , his hands roaming all over your body, squeezing your breasts and ass , pushing his fingers into your gushing pussy , rubbing your clit as he pounded into your from the back .

Your thighs would instantly clench at these flashbacks and your panties would get soaked . You could still feel his touch , his lips on your pussy ,sucking at your clit and you would run to your room and fuck yourself at the thoughts of James Barnes fucking your mercilessly.

Unfortunately thinking about all this was definitely not helping your current situation. Heat was already pooling at your core . Arghhhh .

If you were feeling so scared about confronting maybe he  is too. So there might be a chance of him not coming . YAYY!! Well , secretly you hoped he’d come . What the fuck emotions?? Get yourself together.

You heard laughter and people speaking as you walker towards the room . You peeked through the door as to see who all were there . You wanted to be prepared . You sighed as Bucky was not in sight , but you felt a pang of pain . Maybe he didn’t want to see you and maybe he thought all that happened was a mistake . Well at least you didn’t have to hear it from him . You sat next to Wanda on the sofa and fell into an easy conversation . 

‘The Breakfast Club’ was the movie chosen and honestly you couldn’t complain . You fucking loved this movie. It would also be quite appropriate to say that John Bender was your first crush and was the reason of your sexual awakening. DONT JUDGE . He was fucking hot .

You were engrossed in the movie and didn’t notice a certain someone’s arrival until they walked in front of the TV. FUUCK . He came . He sat on the sofa too between Wanda and Steve . Wanda was the barrier between the two of you . You were thankful . You didn’t think you would be able to concentrate on the film sitting right next to him .

Somewhere along the movie Wanda walked away from you and sat next to Vis . You continued watching the movie though your concentration was far from it. You could feel him looking at you .His gaze burning over your skin. But you didn’t dare look at him . Your whole face was heating up but most importantly your cunt. You couldn’t stop the images from flooding your brain . Especially one of him dragging his tongue along your pussy , looking up at you with lust laced eyes .

You moaned at the thought mindlessly closing your eyes. FUCK . You instantly opened your eyes after you realised what you just did .You looked up and all eyes were on you . At last your eyes fell on his . The deep smirk he had and the spark in his eyes let you know that he knew exactly what you were thinking .

“You okay?”,Steve asked .

You tried not looking at Bucky while you nodded towards Steve and put your attention back on the TV . Slowly people started getting out of the room giving excuse of tiredness . Wanda winked at you before leaving . Which you didn’t understand why? You looked around them room only to find you and Bucky alone . GREAT!! . So , this was a fucking plan  .

You were fidgeting with your hands , biting your inner lip , clenching your thighs(an action that definitely didn’t go unnoticed by him) , clearing your throat every now and then . From the corner of your eye you could see that he moved close to you . The heat radiating off of his body engulfing you. His scent , his chest falling with every intake of breath , and the flexing of his thighs were making you wetter by the second .  

You could also leave and go back to your bedroom . But you were also secretly hoping that something happens . You know . Like Bucky just fucking you into the sofa with his metal fingers around your neck.

You flipped your head suddenly to the right as you felt something cold against your hand . His cold metal arm grazing yours . A shiver ran down your spine as the sudden image of them pumping inside of you  . You chest was heaving  , your breath laboured at the proximity , you wanted to pull at his hair while you rode his thighs. Fuck they looked so good and thick . 

His knee bumped with yours as his hand went behind your head on the sofa . You looked up at him , biting your inner lip , hoping he’d want this . He looked back at you , the once blue eyes barely visible under the black of lust . He took his lower lip into his mouth and slowly released it teasing you .

Your hands went to his hair as your lips crashed on his , he pulled you on his lap with an arm around your waist , kissing you back earnestly. His lips felt so good against yours, but his thighs felt much better under your clothed pussy .

You were wearing nothing under these tiny shorts and you were pretty sure your pussy was leaking . You moved your hips over his thighs .

“Mmmm Bucky .” you moaned , resting your head against his as you started grinding your pussy over his thunder thighs .

“Fuck , you are so wet.” He says as he looks down at the wet stain on your shorts. You hid your face in his neck as you continued riding him . You sat down with more pressure added to your clit.

“Omg .”,your body jerks up at the sudden jolt of pleasure . He pushed you down  harder with his hands on your hips .

“Look at me.”He pulls your head back with a hand on your neck . Your mouth open in pleasure , and your brows creased . He hands slowly slid under your shirt and cup your boobs harshly.

“No panties and a bra. Almost like you wanted this to happen.  My naughty little girl.” He pushes up your shirt and takes your hardened nipple into his mouth and sucks on it .

“Uhhh fuuck.”  You head falls back in pleasure as you move your hips faster . You didn’t care about anyone walking in and finding you like this . You didn’t think about the  juices that seeped through your shorts onto his and the wet stain they caused.

“You look so fucking good like this . So fucking filthy . Fucking yourself on my thigh . This isn’t the first time you have thought about it . Is it?”

You shake your no .

“Use your words sugar.”He lifts your chin up to look at him .

“No. I think about it almost every time I see you.” you whimper and he growls at your words.

His hand travels down over as he rubs his hand up and down your clit over your shorts .

“Oh my god . It feels so good . You are so fucking thicc .”, you moan .

He pulls you closer by your ass and makes you grind over his cock . His moans sound so hot . You could cum instantly .

“My cock is pretty thick too . Ahhh shit.”, he says as you start bouncing over his hard covered cock.

“Feel that? How fucking hard I am right now? I wanted to turn you over and fuck you as soon as I entered the room and saw you . These shorts do nothing to cover your ass baby .”

You pull his shirt up and start biting down on his neck as you feel yourself closer and closer to your release.

“Mmmm fuck .Just like that . Bounce on my cock baby.” His hands squeeze your boobs harshly as you cease your movements , your body spasming violently ,your whole body shaking with the pleasure travelling through you  .

You sit on his lap for a while as he calms you by rubbing your back and running his hand through your hair.

“You are so good babygirl . You looked so fucking hot .”

You raise your head and look down , seeing a very visible patch of your wetness over his shorts .

“Omg ,I am so sorry . Shit . I will wash.....”, you ramble embarrassed.

“Hey , hey.” He cups your face and kisses you softly . His tongue entering your mouth exploring your soft tongue . You moan into the kiss and pull him closer.

“Now that’s my princess . How about you ride my dick like the way you rode my thigh huh?”

You nod winking at him .

TAGS -

I would love to hear from you guys . If you want to be added to the tags let me know.

@hellomissmabel @justareader @buckyappreciationsociety @hopelessgarbage @melconnor2007 @magellan-88 @mcfuccfairy @psychicwitchphilosopher @the-witching-hours12-3 @badassbaker @superantonija @elwenia @elwin-smaragd @panickedpandaposts @mytrueself @tol-sam @emilyevanston @marveloussssworld @marvelatthepeople @always-an-evans-addict @mjcumberbatch @crazybutconfidentaf @yknott81 @winterboobaer @chipilerendi @aingealcethlenn @hollycornish @iamwarrenspeace @mrshopkirk @sexy-sea-basss @thewinterswimmer @cassandras-musings

[phantasyprone]

The Memeing of Life - A pretty extensive philosophical critique

Hey everyone, I’m just gonna take another break from writing my graduate thesis to briefly run through some of the points (???) made in Dan’s video. I’m pretty tired and stopped watching Supernatural to type this up so this is incredibly informal so yh, excuse the rambling nature of this. I’ll type what he said in the video then provide my thoughts.

 ‘‘Born too late to explore the earth, born too soon to explore the galaxy, born just in time to browse dank memes.’ Also a phrase that defines the purpose of our existence at this point in human history. Do you ever find yourself wishing for a different life, that your weren’t just a kid at school, or you weren’t just a young adult trying to work out what to do, or a person stuck in a job, but instead a person with a calling – a mission to go on adventure bigger than the life we know’ – OK, I have so many issues with this. 1. Only white males get to say that they wished they lived before this point. 2. ‘just’ a kid, and ‘just’ a young adult? Mate, Dan my man, no one is ‘just’ anything. Every single person is a complex, awesome human being capable of so much. No one is just anything and you say that like everyone out there thinks so little of themselves? Yeh of course, some people are on a journey to try and work out their life’s purpose but some people aren’t? For some people their purpose is to have close friends or family, or theyre on the career path they want, or some people are not in their mid twenties and just wanting to enjoy/get through the hell that is school. If I was 14 and watching a video where someone was telling me that ‘we’ all spend life trying to find our calling or mission I would have been like ‘fuck no. I just wanna pass my exams and get to uni mate, stfu.’ Or many teens, as actually was the same when I was young and super into philosophy, liked to think about this stuff on occasion, but in an informed manner not some chill youtube video they used to escape flinging an existential crisis at them.

  ‘our boring time’ – No, Dan. Our time isn’t boring. It’s exciting, amazing, there’s so much good in the world. Yo, have you even seen videos of baby pandas? Have you read the amazing things activists and progressive politicians, and inspiring children, and wonderful artists, and artists and non white cis straight amazing people are doing to make the world fucking awesome are doing? Nah mate. Not having it.

 (this shit got long so more under the cut)

‘well this is your life and its probs the only one youre gonna get’ – WHY DO YOU SAY THAT LIKE IT’S A BAD THING??? The fact that we only have this one life is such a beautiful thing to cling to and whilst sometimes things may seem shit, theres no need to go saying that phrase in that way like our lives are bad and we should just accept that? Yeh I could be Hermione Granger if I was in the Harry Potter books but would I want to be? NO. Yo, I wouldn’t give up my best mates for anything. And Hermione couldn’t play the guitar but I can. And Hermione didn’t laugh so hard she cried when my mate and me were out walking with huge rucksakes and my mate got stuck between two trees and couldn’t get out, then heaved herself through and fell flat on her face in the mud. NO, I saw that. – a wonderful moment. Yeh, this IS my life, and it’s the only one I’m gonna get SO GREAT. Things can be shit but yo, my mate got stuck in a tree so pffffft, this shit can be pretty awesome sometimes.

 ‘this reality could be a computer simulation talk’ – erghhhh, don’t throw stuff like that out so flippantly. That shit is actualy worrying to some people. I had a breakdown which took me 3 full months to get over that ONE thought, so cheers for saying that so casually. But it’s fine because if this is a computer simulation (which I highly doubt cause I did research, a lot of research) then this is what life is and it’s pretty great anyway so lets just not think about that and enjoy life if we can.

  ‘it’s a lot more difficult for us to find a quest that will give us the big answers’ – who are these people needing quests? Why do we need these big answers? You talk like there is some great, intrinsic meaning to everything and we should all be searching for it? Nah mate. Just enjoy what we have, don’t spend your life constantly searching for answers you’ll never find. Enjoy the now. What’s my big quest? To try and be kind to myself and kind to others. And to try to love myself and love others; there we go – big quest sorted. Don’t go giving people this existential crisis where they feel as though they wont be satisfied if they never find this ‘one true purpose’. You will have many different purposes and many different paths and missions and journeys and you will change and its OK to go in varying directions. There may not even be this idea that everyone has or needs ‘one big quest’ – just do what makes you happy and be kind, and if what makes you happy changes over the years then that’s cool. Don’t ever go thinking that you need to spend your whole life trying to find your purpose and you wont feel fulfilled unless you’ve found that purpose. Why only ‘one’ mission anyway? Do everything that makes you happy and live now instead of waiting and searching your whole life for something that you don’t find because you simply search for it.

 The whole discussion about contributing to science so that only a few people can go to mars – No dan, the amount of incredibly important advances in science, medicine, and technology that was discovered BECAUSE we funded space missions and people tried to find answers in the universe is staggering and I wish I could remember them all, but tust me – the amount of cool stuff in our lives that wouldn’t have been invented if it wasn’t for space exploration is seriously cool and y’all go try and be astronauts because you might change the world even if you don’t get to space.

 ‘reality is slow and painful’ – ergh, I mean, it’s cool if you sometimes think that, I do too! But you cant just say that without any context, or like ‘reality is slow and painful sometimes. But not all the time’. – like, of course we all feel this way sometimes but if you’re making a video you cant just announce that without also saying life is fast and amazing and wonderful. You have a certain responsibility here Dan. So no, reality can’t be defined by that wholly pessimistic and way too sweeping statement that it is ‘slow and painful’.

 then goes onto explain how cool, but not really cool books and film realities are. - yeh, but our lives are pretty cool. I mean, over half all movies and books are based on our reality... so i mean, it gotta be kinda interesting. Which it is...

Good bit being aware of this being a first world problem

 ‘you may say that there are many meaningful missions you could go on from perusing personal passions to politics, science or even changing the world to being a better place by doing charity work, and yep, that is all true but its not something that we can completely escape to, leaving what we know behind. I know, pretty disheartening right.’ – I mean, yay, finally some optimism but it was all ruined when you said that basically no matter what you do, you cant escape this reality. Eergh. No, Go do all those amazing amazing things and there is no way that any of these things are lessoned by the fact that they’re still within our reality. Escapism isn’t necessarily the best thing? Sometimes we gotta look at our reality and see how awesome it can be amongst the shit. And we should do all these amazing things to make it even better because if you could escape to a different world would you? If everyone who had something to give to society left then what state would humanity be in? A shit one. I for one am glad we can’t escape and I wouldn’t want to. Changing the world and making it a better place, whether that’s through charity work or by being a generally nice and lovely person, is awesome and the fact that we cant leave this reality isn’t disheartening.

 ‘But what do we have… is a world that might never do anything particularly amazing apart from destroying the world; memes’ – No, just no. People now are doing pretty fucking awesome things. Like, I don’t really need to say any more. Have you seen how far we’ve come? How much societal progression has occurred for minorities and women and the LGBTQIA+ community, and those who are disabled? Of course we have so so so far to go, but things are slowly progressing in general.

 meme discussions – they are relatable and show us how we all have relative experiences – but like no, memes are a cultural artefact which can be alike to Dadaist and surrealist work pointing out the absurdity of our time and how meaning can be warped and blah semantics, existentialism, satra, kafka, keikergaard, Joseph Heller, (I can’t be asked right now to go into a discussion of memes and existentialism and meaning because it’s interesting but long and tbh Dan should’ve covered that so I’m salty he missed this great and obvious discussion)

 ‘it’s what we do all day, and perhaps, that is us attempting to find meaning within ourselves in a time when the universe isn’t providing any easy answers’ – ergh, why do we always have to be searching for this true meaning you’re talking about? Maybe we just shouldn’t search for an intrinsic meaning? Look for love and kindness and humanity because who can argue with that, and let’s just not give your entire audience an existential crisis, or if you did want to discuss existentialism then please do so in a balanced, well researched and UPLIFTING WAY. This shit is serious and I’ve had so many breakdowns because of it but through YEARS AND YEARS of reading am I good and OK and not in that deluge or worry for meaning anymore. If you wanted to discuss such deep and truly worrying stuff as this, you needed to be more eloquent, less ‘ergh life is shit’ and just generally more optimistic (which I know you can be so, like, why was this so dreary and ergh)?

 so go reach for your dreams because what is important is that it’s your choice – erghhhhhh where did this argument go? We’ve missed so many steps in your discussion of finding one ‘true mission’ into you having a choice? Mate, I know how you could jump between these but you haven’t explained how you got here or how this all links up and whaaaaa? You need to back up WHY peoples choices make sense within the existentialist discussion youre basing all this on. You cant just say it and expect people to know?

 Sorry guys, that was my incredibly messy discussion of this video which was not at all eloquent because my brain is fried and I paused my rewatching of Supernatural to type this stuff up.