#heres garbage pelase love me

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.22

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21| 22

sup

woke up feeling super drained and out of it this morning. thought maybe writing would help, but nothing was working, so we're here.

shoutout to @sunlitshowers​ because we looked up flavors of capri sun for an answer on my deh ask blog and she found so many great capri sun flavors and ads. it was amazing

i dont know whats happening here anymore but enjoy

2:45

nino: yo check out how many flavors of fucking caprisun there is https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capri_Sun#Flavors

 6:23

ladybugfan2020: rip me apparently there was an akuma attack last night????? and i missed it??? oh it was on the other side of the city w/e then i got pics its chill whats this link nino?? caprisun?? holy SHIT i need 2 try alL OF THESE tag yourself im…….. monster alarm i am monster alarm

ladybugfan2020 has changed their nickname to monster alarm

6:39

nino has changed their nickname to mystic dragon

mystic dragon: what do you think mystic dragon tastes like

monster alarm: something fucking awesome

adrien: I have so many questions

mystic dragon: click the link my dude join us in this knowledge

adrien: What the hell??? Who thought that the world needed THAT MANY flavors of Capri Sun???

monster alarm: me this is amazing im living i love it hey marsh think u can pull some strings so we can get every single of caprisun ever

adrien: No offense but I don’t think my dad would be thrilled with buying Um 43 different flavors of Capri Sun

mystic dragon: did you just count those

monster alarm: MORE than 43 thats definitely MORE

adrien: Only 43 flavors are for sale! We don’t even live in the right country for some of these

monster alarm: come on rich boy!!!!! also,, nickanme

adrien: Fine fine

adrien has changed their nickname to multivitamin

mystic dragon: boy

monster alarm: why do i like you

PM between multivitamin and marinette

multivitamin: Hey Mari Guess what If we were a Capri Sun flavored, we’d be power team

8:02 in out damned spot

mystic dragon: has anyone talked to mari today????

monster alarm: not me

multivitamin: Nope

mystic dragon: do you think shes awake?

monster alarm: uh oh

monster alarm has renamed this conversation to “orange wake up mari!!!”.

mystic dragon: oh yeah thatll DEFINITELY work al good job

monster alarm: what am i supposed to do!!!!!!!!!!!!! i already tried calling she didnt pick up

multivitamin: I’ve got her

monster alarm: wait really??

multivitamin: Yeah sorry we might’ve called at the same time

monster alarm: cool see u nerds at school

mystic dragon: i feel so loved

PM between multivitamin and marinette

multivitamin: Mari Mari Mari are you going to wake up I know we had a really really late night last night I just want to make sure you get to school I’m gonna show up on your balcony don’t freak out I mean you aren’t going to see this if you’re asleep so you’ll probably freak out anyway Ok I’m just going to apologize now If you punt me to the other side of the country I totally understand

8:17 in orange wake up mari!!!

marinette: IM UP IM UP IM ON MY WAY OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK WAS HAPPNEIG NI HER E

mystic dragon: mari!!!

monster alarm: soooo many things babe get here so we can explain

multivitamin: Get here faster Mari, I think Alya is going to explode

marinette: Fuuuucccckkkkkkkkkkk Allso I hate ALL OF YOU WE ALL HAVE M NAMES THIS SUCK S

monster alarm: i can fix this change ur nickname to elfentrank fairy drink

marinette: excuse me??????

monster alarm: just do it!!!!!!!!!!

mystic dragon: bruh

marinette: FINE FINE!!

marinette has changed their nickname to elfentrank fairy drink

elfentrank fairy drink: Are you happy???/

monster alarm: i am DELIGHTED

mystic dragon: hell yeah girl

multivitamin: Did you all know this chat is exhausting

monster alarm: MARI GET TO CLASS

elfentrank fairy drink: IM GOING

 15:03

elfentrank fairy drink: Ok Nino Why the fuck were you on the caprisun wiki page at 3 in the morning

mystic dragon: what else are you supposed to do at 3 in the monring?????

monster alarm: thats teh most valid point u could make

elfentrank fairy drink: Remind me how to leave this sky pe group And this friendship

mystic dragon: wow

monster alarm: </3

PM between multivitamin and elfentrank fairy drink

elfentrank fairy drink: We are not calling ourselves power team

multivitamin: Dammit You going to bed soon??

elfentrank fairy drink: It is??? Only 15:25??????

multivitamin: Yeah but you fell asleep during lunch

elfentrank fairy drink: Its fine its fine Im getting used to the no sleep thing for sure You got the same amount of sleep that I did!! Less!!!!!!

multivitamin: I took a nap after school before my shoot It was great It was on the floor

elfentrank fairy drink: Your life is a mess

multivitamin: So is yours bug You were sleeping on your desk chair when I showed up this mornin g

elfentrank fairy drink: LiSTEN We got back at lik e 4 I hate so many thing s Hawk Moth is top of the list Hes not the entier list because I also hate like Homework and stuff BUt hes at the TOP

multivitamin: Go to bed Mari

elfentrank fairy drink: Adrien I cannot explain to you hOW MUCH I HAV ET O DO HOW DO PEOPLE IN COMICS BALANCE BEING A SUPERHERO WITH EVERYTHING ELSE THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!

multivitamin: Well for one thing they aren’t real And we are And I feel like a lot of superheroes have problems balancing but Al knows more about superheroes than I do

elfentrank fairy drink: IM GOING TO FAILI OUT OF SCHOOL EBCAUSE OF HAWK MOTH HOW DID HANNAH MONTANA DO IT

multivitamin: Hannah Montana had lots of money and also? Wasn’t fighting evil

elfentrank fairy drink: You dont know that

multivitamin: Ok that’s true

elfentrank fairy drink: Im literally Drowning in work I cant sleep I willl neve r be able to sleep again OH my go d

multivitamin: You ok buggy?

elfentrank fairy drink: No No?? I dont think so Ahhhhhhhh help IM so tired and I have all this physics whcih what hte fuck and Im literally going to break hawk mtohs face?

multivitamin: That’s relatable

elfentrank fairy drink: You NEVER breakdown about this how is that fair??

multivitamin: I mean I do Like all the time

elfentrank fairy drink: ??? Why dont  you tell m e?

multivitamin: Because I don’t like bothering people with my problems I have Plagg though and I’m used to dealing with things on my own

elfentrank fairy drink: Thats bullshit??? Im oyour friend and partner youre supposed to t ell m e this stuff

multivitamin: Ok Ok I will If you promise to go to sleep

elfentrank fairy drink: HA

multivitamin: I’m coming over We can talk about emotions because sleep deprived and exhausted is the best time to do that And we can nap I’ll try to help with physics but no promises because I wasn’t payinga ttention today

elfentrank fairy drink: Pfff Ive never paid attention to anything ayn whreer FUck typin g But thanks

multivitamin: Of course <3 Be there soon

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020: BRIT AWARDS SPECIAL

So, welcome to... a Tuesday? Yeah, it’s not exactly a usual time for me to post on this blog but it’s not just your everyday episode of REVIEWING THE CHARTS – That’s right, it’s the 40th ceremony in the annual BRIT Awards celebration, where we – or at least ITV – commemorate the greatest in British pop music. I’ll be celebrating in full force this year, but not by tweeting manically like I did last year – well, there will still be some tweeting; follow me @cactusinthebank – but instead by writing my live commentary right here. I did this a couple years back so I figured I’d bring it back again in traditional, over-analytical, unnecessarily nitpicky fashion. I’ve got an Excel document like I had last year to make not of who wins and compare it to who I think should win. I’m all prepared – it’s time for the 2020 BRIT Awards... unfortunately hosted by Jack Whitehall.

COMMENTARY

Interestingly (This is 10 minutes before the show begins), the International Group Award, Best British Video, Outstanding Contribution to Music and Global Success Awards have been abolished, and British Breakthrough Act, Critics’ Choice Award and British Single of the Year have all been renamed. Also, the BRITs caught flack for less female artists being nominated although last year there was a record amount nominated so I feel like sexism claims can’t really ring all that true in my opinion. It does often seem like male artists have dominated that year of pop music, just as it feel female artists have the previous year, and the BRITs have noticed that, so it just feels a tad lop-sided towards the males this year. I’m playing Devil’s advocate, sure, and I wouldn’t say 2019 has been a bad year for British women in music, but I am able to somewhat defend this decision. I feel like I’d just say that as a little pre-amble. In fact, I’ll add this: this will be less formal and grammatically correct than a normal RTC episode, and perhaps a bit less wholesome or family-friendly. Also, if none of this makes any sense, that’s because it’s out of context completely, and this will make absolutely no sense unless you’re watching it with me or had watched it prior to reading this, but that’s the joy in this! Scorecard at the ready, 19:58, it’s the BRITs in two minutes, and I am prepared to make fun of every issue I pick out.

Jack Whitehall is so unfunny lol Like Haha She Is Cleaning Lizzo Flute But He Look Like Masturbate Ha Ha

I feel like they did not know what they should do for this year

The intro with him trying out iconic BRIT Awards outfits is kinda cool actually

I wonder how far into the future they plan for these. Like are these skits pre-recorded by three months or so

Mabel didn’t really hit that note huh

I won’t really be paying attention to this one because I’m filling out scorecard and all to update it for this year but Mabel is less energetic than she was on the Graham Norton Show months ago

Can’t tell if Don’t Call Me Up has soured on me a lot or this is just a bad performance. Probably the latter

Is this the vocal loop from Mad Love or something I don’t recognise it

Nevermind I’m so dumb it’s from Don’t Call Me Up

The telephone on the screen Because Ha Ha She Says Call Me Up is a bit on the nose

I don’t think they realise she also has a song called Ring Ring

“Please welcome your host Jack Whitehall” No go away

Audience did not like the Boris Johnson joke or even the Chris Martin one lol this gnarly dude is BOMBING

Rod Stewart has eight children what the f

“Horny scarecrow of rock and roll Ronnie Wood” I hope that is on his CV

“A bit of witty banter from Dave” Jack Whitehall Shouted Out The TV Channel Dave

Lewis Capaldi – Someone You Loved genuinely makes me want to eat a living frog this live version is better though he’s not straining that much

I saw a BBC News piece on a boy with cancer and this was used in the background and I understand it’s a sad, sappy piano ballad but it’s literally just about a break up like that’s a tad unfitting and kinda undermines the illness and tragedy surely

Niall Horan looks SO infused

The production value for these little transitions seems to have improved it actually looks cool and not dated garbage

Lewis Capaldi will win Best New Artist

Lewis Capaldi won Best New Artist

It’s his first BRIT Award but what’s the point in celebrating he’s gonna win like seven more

Dude is coming up to the stage with a bottle of beer in his hand bruh

I bet this dude is going to be the Adele and just get drunk and swear every time he gets an award

He hugged Niall Horan for a concerning amount of time

The audience chanted ‘DOWN IT DOWN IT’ he did not down it

He just shouted profanities into the mic after 40 seconds of delaying it, but the audio was muted so I have no idea why Jack Whitehall Loves This Man

Lewis Capaldi’s music and personality clash so hard like I saw an advert of this man making funny faces set to Someone You Loved and it was so odd

That advert played right after the BRITs by the way lol

Why is Lewis Capaldi on another advert singing Someone You Loved again like stop stop stop pelase i ccant getsv awytsuavforrnjeofityre

JHE’S BACK FOR ANOTHER ADVERT GO AWAY YOU DRUNKEN IDIOT

Why would Mastercard proudly sponsor this sh

How the hell is FKA twigs nominated for best female artist like cool and all her album was good but Huh

I guess they put one alternate win each time

Mabel will win Best Female Solo Artist

Mabel won Best Female Solo Artist

Oh yeah I forgot people actually make speeches

“There are so many amazing women in this category” Mabel Listens To FKA Twigs

Don’t thank your record label they are crooks

I forget that Mabel is Neneh Cherry’s daughter that’s wild. Neneh Cherry won a BRIT too, I think this same award. Cool. Neat.

Jack Whitehall’s sarcasm and dryer wit is not exactly the best fit for the BRITs. For once I miss Ant & Dec

Harry Styles Is Literally Wearing Pajamas

This is an ok song and with actually good vocal mixing it’s better but he does sound a bit off. He did get robbed before the awards happened though lol

I am sick of guys singing ballads with a e s t h e t i c backgrounds like can we get some volcano eruptions up in this

The Rising Star and British Producer Awards (new awards) were already given out I feel like cheating

Literally the only nomination for the British Producer of the Year was fred

He won

Another break bruh bruh bruh give me a break

Harry Styles’ Pajamas Are Wet Now He Was Standing In Water

Little simz is on an advert afterwards with an amazing song from her amazing album but she’s not nominated for any award

Im so tired like this shit is keeping me awake last year i fell asleep during a jess glynne performance

Liam payne performed a month before the ceremony and his album fell 31 places on the chart in response

Jack Whitehall called himself a lanky streak of piss this man might get an Ofcom Complaint

Lizzo’s really pushing that title track huh

Lizzo didn’t censor herself on the Grammys but her breathy ‘uh’s are making some lines unintelligible lol

This is a good song though

LOL SHE STOPPED FOR THE AUDIENCE TO CONTINUE HER SENTENCE BUT NOBODY SAID THE LINE YIKES

I guess she forgot Truth Hurts didn’t even peak in the top 20 here

Good as Hell is the one people here care about

She knows that they didn’t respond in Truth Hurts because she said ‘sing along if you know it’ lol

She kinda messed up but to be fair she is walking and singing with the audience

That White Guy With The Crap Hair Killed It

Drummer is going wild

I love the extra guitar flourishes in Juice this is pretty cool actually, her interpolating Cause I Love You at the same time is pretty epic this actually sounds pretty great I’d love for this whole medley to be on streaming

She yelled ‘biiitch’ but the mic did not catch that

Ronnie Wood Really Got The Positive Vibes

Lewis Capaldi will win Best Male Solo Artist

(Michael Kiwanuka got like no applause god damn at least give them pity applause)

ROIGHT and tha winna ***upside down*** is STRORMZY

Stormzy won Best Male Solo Artist

(Second time by the way)

Clean version of Vossi Bop kinda slap Ngl

Stormzy TOWERS over Ronnie Wood lol dude is tall

“Um.”

“Best Male is nothing without incredible females” Cool cool

Ronnie is about to tell Stormzy why he thinks he should go back to his own country and that He’s Not Actually Racist

(Those allegations are baseless. My lawyers advised me to say so.)

Jack Whitehall touched audience feet

We’re already nearly an hour in wow

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY ADVERT BREAKS

Yes Yes

Hell yeah dave is awesome, he got his Top Boy co-star to work as a hype man before him

I think this is Black? If so that’s amazing I love that song

It’s Black he has it written on his white piano

The only white piano is slowly turning more black

I like the headlines and all the imagery on the piano it’s really cool

Dave is a tad off beat but he’s also playing a double-sided piano so understandable

A white dude is playing the other side of the piano I’m sure that’s symbolic

He is aggressive in this delivery damn he’s killing it

Some of this imagery is beautiful – especially the BRIT Award being covered by black snakes and the Arabic writing transitioning into an Africa with colonial borders

This was an amazing performance, especially with the violins. Incredible.

OH THERE’S ANOTHER VERSE ABOUT BORIS JOHNSON

The least racist is still racist damn right

This works as an obituary as well damn.

I’d have to analyse this whole thing but this was an incredible performance oh my god

I want this on streaming

When did this man help a terrorist plot wh

Paloma Faith Sounds Like A Robot Who Is Vaguely Feminist

Burna Boy will win International Male Solo Artist

(I so want Tyler to go home with it though. Could go to Post as well)

It’s just whoever shows up gets it though so

WHOA

WHAT THE HELL

TYLER THE CREATOR WON HOW

TAHT IS AMSGWYUFE

THE RADIO HOST SAID IGOR WRONG BUT ITS OK TYLER WON

Tyler, The Creator won International Male Solo Artist

This gnarly dude just said ‘errr yeah errr’

“Shout out to all the British funk from the 80s I try to copy”

LOL THE THERESA MAY CALL OUT HAHAH

I FORGOT HE WASNT ALLOWED IN THE UK

Bts is not a british group, presenter

Coldplay will win Best British Group

Foals won Best British Group

I am actually so surprised lol at Tyler and Foals winning their first BRITs

More alternative dudes winning I guess. Neat. Means a lot

Stop thanking your corrupt labels

The name’s eyelash

I haven’t actually heard her Bond theme yet

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho

I like it. The whispery tone of her voice, the eerie strings (cello?), and slick guitar really fit the Bond franchise. Thank you Billie Eilish, very cool!

No Don’t Talk To Lizzo Don’t Talk To Anyone Jack Whitehall

“There was so much energy they could have done the whole performance for me” well not exactly mrs. Lizzo

This is so awkward we can’t hear what Lizzo is laughing at Harry Styles looks pissed

‘floutists’ is the name for flute players huh

I’m so confused what is going on

Lizzo is threatening jack Whitehall with a flute and within the transition to the break i could hear a slight faint shout from jack in the background

Is everyone ok

More people that i wanted to win than who i expected to win are winning

Sam Fender is haha funnie but nobody in the audience thinks so lol

Celeste is performing she’s the new Rising Star award she has already had a bit of a crack but I’m pretty sure that’s part of the song

This song is ok

Bit boring tbh. Audience is getting tired too. This is lasting like 5 minutes and the song is pretty flavourless and repetitive. Yawn snore

We’re about half way through and I’ve kind of lost interest ngl

Honestly lewis capaldi did better than celeste on jah

Jack Whitehall is having a mental breakdown right now. Understandable

Billie Eilish will win International Female Solo Artist

Billie Eilish won International Female Solo Artist

Lizzo looks so disappointed for whatever reason lol like did we really think anyone else would get this award

Sporty Spice is in the background dancing to everything i wanted that is not a song you dance like that to it’s about suicide

This speech is going terribly

Why are so many of these gnarly dudes signed to polydor

Thank you Billie Eilish very cool

No Jack Whitehall Don’t Talk To Harry Styles

Harry Styles looks like he hates Jack Whitehall so much

The Lizzo-Harry-Jack Whitehall love triangle is Awkward And Awful

Lizzo is the only reason the brit awards are good

Ok the exchange about Harry Styles not being taken seriously was pretty funny

In fact this whole exchange was very funny And Partially About Incest

“Is one of these lucky ladies your date?” “That’s my sister”

Lizzo is chugging the tequila

Harry Styles Looks Like He Pissed Himself

The BRIT awards have suddenly become very confusing

Epic Stormzy Time

Genuinely have no idea what song he’ll perform. Probably Vossi Bop?

Stormzy Should Keep The Singing To His Backing Vocalist And Choir

Gospel beat sounds sweet

I think this is supposed to be Lessons but the studio version is so much duller than this version. This one is pretty cool. I think it’s the choir

I’d be surprised if he only does Lessons. Also the production value here was crazy. Full band, pyrotechnics and all.

Oh yeah it’s Vossi Bop time he’s got the red lighting

Nevermind it’s Wiley Flow lol but still

Reminds me of when Kanye did All Day (also the audio got muted for a long period of time just like when Kanye did that)

This one is more choreographed though lol

Why did he perform two of the least popular songs first though

Burna Boy is coming out for Own It alright, he sounds just as good as studio, probably because He’s Not Actually Singing

I don’t like this song but the choreography is great, stage presence is good and the visuals are incredible. Really shows that even with the worst material, you can make a song sound as lively as ever. The horns the live band added to Own It sound beautiful

Burna Boy’s little solo bit was great

He got away with saying “Sucking on their mums” nice

I hadn’t heard Rainfall before this I don’t think (it sounds familiar though), but the mashup with Praise You was great. I love the sight of Stormzy in front of family members, the young men in black outfits from Wiley Flow, the tropical clothes-bearing women from Own It, Burna Boy, the live band, and all. It’s really a nice diverse sight to see. Cool cool. This probably means absolutely nothing but I Am Knackered

Someone You Loved will win Song of the Year

I really hope it’s Ladbroke Grove though. It and Location feel very emblematic of 2019, in a way that I Don’t Care by Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber DEFINITELY isn’t

Someone You Loved won Song of the Year

“Biggest winner of the night so far” there’s only one award left mate

Lewis Capaldi Is A Very Funny Man

“Thanks to my grandmother for dying”

Finneas do be lookin kinda handsome tho [2]

Heard a very british voice say “i luv yoo bilie” in the audience lmao

Lewis Capaldi will win Album of the Year

I’d prefer literally anyone else to win this award. Only one of these albums was a 7/10 or above but Lewis Capaldi’s album was unlistenable

OH HELL YEAH THE ONLY GOOD ONE WON

Dave won Album of the Year

Epic I love that album. It could very well have been Capaldi but since Dave won the Mercury Prize I guess he would have been a better prediction

People are screaming man’s lost for words

“Jesus Christ!” dude’s so astonished lol

I loved Dave’s speech actually very inspiring

“Jack, I’m gonna do this one for your mum, Hilary” bruh  rod stewart really saying ‘ur mom’ jokes out here

I love Rod Stewart’s raspy voice man. Orchestra’s great. This is beautiful lol

Gnarly dude got the guitar solo

Conclusion

I cannot be bothered to write some massive conclusion but most of the performances were great and emotionally powerful, especially Stormzy, Dave, Billie and Rod Stewart, and even those who were a bit crap performing were very funny on stage, like Lewis Capaldi. The on stage banter was really cringe-worthy but Jack Whitehall, Harry Styles and Lizzo had this really funny triangle going on. The outro with Ronnie Wood and the rest of Rod Stewart’s band was great, Stormzy’s extended performance was sweet. This was actually a pretty great BRITs, to be honest, and all of the winners, except a select few, deserved it, and if they didn’t, it was pretty expected. There could have been some more winners – off the top of my head, Slowthai and Little Simz weren’t even nominated, but hey, Tyler won. That’s great. The scorecard will be on Twitter. In the words of the BRIT Award winners in 2020, “errr yeah errr”, and thanks for reading!

REVIEWING THE CHARTS 2020