#lights out with david spade

[shrimpscocktail]

David Spade + glasses | #livefromthebunker

[irndad]

Oh my gosh!!! Don’t date coworkers was so cute!!! Would you be willing to do one similar with Hotch? <3

It shouldn’t bother him.

Aaron thinks of himself as someone who adores professional candor, and wishes that his team possessed it in spades. It’s not as though she is professional in almost any other aspect. She excels in personality, and if he had any shame, it would be harder for Aaron to admit what an actual delight she is to his daily life. 

She’s kind, in a way that he’s found is rare in this world. Asks about Jack, remembers what coursework he’s struggling in and remembers to ask. She knows his coffee order, which she ascertained from reading the cup. He’s quite fond of her. David is always telling him that life is short and that any girl would be lucky to date him. In less polite terms. 

She’s beautiful. 

She’s all soft smiles and warm disposition, and she’s easy to like. She’s always the first to anticipate your needs, and Aaron can picture how he’d slot into her life, a part of him can see what it would be like to pick her up in his lavish car and drive her to the office, spend the weekends basking in her company. He’d be a good partner- he’d known how, once, and he’d try for her. 

She doesn’t date people she works with. 

The fantasy has gone too far in many ways- a version of life in his mind that lingers. She has morning ritual, and he knows it’s a little creepy he watches it from the perch of his office. She pins her hair up and puts on a coat of her lipstick, before she inevitably forgets she’s wearing it, and leaves a lip-print on her cup. It’s hard not to imagine it with her sat on his kitchen counter. 

But he knows this is a boundary of hers- and even though it’s just in his fantasies, it feels…well, wrong to fantasize about her like that. He’d heard her loud and clear, telling officer Berbrook that she makes a point not to date anyone in the Bureau. It’s arrogant to think he’d be an exception. 

This morning, she’s earlier than he’s ever seen her in the office. She’s got big, wraparound headphones and a skirt on, and two cups. She’d gotten him coffee. He might burst. He speaks out her last name when she realizes he’s in the room, and internally, a warmth blooms in his chest at the wide open smile she grants him. 

“Hi, you!”

“You’re in early.”

“Mm,” she says, her mouth still full of coffee, endearingly eager, “I know, but that coffee shop you love had fritters, and I thought you’d like one.”

Off limits. He feels his eyebrows scrunch into a frown before he speaks. 

“You didn’t have to do that. 

“No one has to do anything. I wanted to. There’s two in there, one for Jack. They keep well.”

A completely ridiculously short amount of time passes before he’s able to speak again, or more accurately as Garcia would put it, word-vomit. 

“I heard officer Berbrook asked you out. That is absolutely inappropriate- would you like me to handle it?”

“Nah,” she says back, “It’s all good.”

“Morgan told me that you have a policy of never dating anyone you work with-“

“I said that about Berbrook, Hotch. It’s not like, an off-limits thing.” She looks down at her feet. Her shoes are green, Aaron notices, helplessly endeared, “y’know, with the right person…I wouldn’t want to close that door, do you know what I mean?”

Her doe eyes peer up at him, and he knows that she’s hear 30 minutes before anyone else is just to be able to get him food, telling him that she’s open to dating coworkers, and once upon a time he could’ve taken a fucking hint. 

In his younger years, when he was bolder and better able to ask for the things he wants, he might’ve asked her out right then. Might have run him and made a dinner reservation, somewhere with candle-light for an evening that would end with her being kissed against a wall or a car. 

But for now, he takes a bite of his fritter and makes some plans. If he’s got a shot with her, that’s a revelation that’s going to need some intense planning and preparing for. He’d like to woo her, if that’s something he could ever get to do. 

“Good fritter.”

“I know, right?” 

[livesincerely]

The next week is filled with a fresh round of mandatory sexual harrassment and misconduct training for the entire staff. David spends most of it camped out in Conference Room 3 with not enough coffee, delivering the same spiel over and over again to glazed eyes and crossed arms, the clock on the wall mocking him with its glacial pace.

It’s Friday afternoon when the last group of employees are brought in. Except this time, when he steps up to the podium and introduces himself as David Jacobs from HR, he notices a man sitting near the back abruptly straighten in his seat, suddenly attentive. He’s, frankly, gorgeous, with deep brown eyes, a sharp jawline, full lips, and—

David’s gaze darts pointedly away, subtly adjusting his collar.

The session proceeds as usual, but this time there’s the tantalizing call of the weekend as the light at the end of the tunnel that makes them all a touch impatient. David wraps things up as quickly as he can, and doesn’t take it personally when the employees quickly file out the moment he’s finished speaking. He’s gathering up discarded information sheets to recycle and fantazing about cracking open a bottle of wine with dinner, when someone clears their throat behind him.

“So the sweater and slacks I knew to expect,” says an impossibly familiar voice. It’s the man from before, watching him from the doorway. “But after all this time, how did the glasses never rate a mention? ‘Cause that really feels like somethin’ I should’ve known about.”

And oh. Oh, so this is Jack Kelly.

David’s initial impression of gorgeous is even more accurate up close: dark hair and deeply tanned skin, broad shoulders and strong hands, and a smile that’s on the rakish side of charming.

“Mr. Kelly,” David greets, his heart pounding in his chest. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“I’m honestly jus’ takin’ this in,” Jack says, looking him up and down, and if the smooth city-drawl of his voice was attractive over the phone, it’s nearly lethal in person. “My imagination is pretty good, Jacobs, but it don’t hold a candle to the real thing.” He tilts his head, a swoop of hair falling over his forehead, and he really is that handsome, isn’t he? No wonder Martha in Reception is willing to grant him so many favors. “And I’m an artist by trade, so I know beauty when I see it.”

“You know, if you were hoping to get out of training, it’s usually best to drop the pick up lines before the session, not after,” David answers, arching an eyebrow. “And perhaps choose a mark that isn’t so familiar with your methods.”

“Why’s it gotta be a line?” Jack says, his grin only growing. “It’s the truth, ain’t it? Just callin’ a spade a spade.”

“Did you actually need something?” David wonders, shuffling his papers to hide his flushing cheeks. “Because if not, I should head back downstairs.”

“Chasing’ me off already, Dave?” Jack asks, ambling closer. “Not very professional of ya.”

“And what would you know about professionalism?” David reflexively banters back. His stomach flutters furiously, nervously, like he’s teetering on a tightrope and can’t quite find his balance.

Jack laughs, low and warm.

“Not a damn thing,” he agrees. “But you like me anyway.”

And, god help him, he really, really does.

[darkbluekies]

Songs that remind me of my OCs

...with little to no explanation :) sometimes it's the lyrics, sometimes the genre, but overall just the vibe I get from the song.

There's a lot of kpop on Hedwig’s part because I'm sure that if she was a real person she'd be a kpop Stan.

This is where I expose my music taste

Silas:

Blinding lights — the weeknd

Goin' down — three days grace (all their songs fit him)

Criminal — corbyn

You and I — aryia

Sober — big bang

Red lights — stray kids

Blood // water — grandson

Mr saxobeat — alexandra stan

Mamma Mia — måneskin

Meant to be yours — Heather the musical (the entire musical makes me think of him???)

Dr Kry

Fairytale — Alexander rybak

Let's kill tonight — panic at the disco

Happy pills — weathers

Teeth — 5sos

Without me — dayseeker

Golden days — panic at the disco

Run away — or3o

Welcome home — or3o

Nicotine — panic at the disco

I ain't perfect — iv of spades

Stand out fit in — one ok rock

Lover of mine — 5sos

Ferrari — Isaac Dunbar

L-o-v-e — nat king cole

King edmund

Masquerade — Eric saade (literally created the one-shot that created Edmund)

Illusion — kingdom

Excalibur — kingdom

Ascension — kingdom

Long live the king — kingdom

The song of Dann (promise) — kingdom

Black crown — kingdom

The bidding — tally hall

Permanent vacation — 5sos

Mary on a cross — ghost

Forever (in my mind) — malinda

Don't light my fire — dreamcatcher

Kill the lights — set it off

Black fire — megagonefree

Cooler than me — Mike posner

Jerry

Ex's & oh's — elle king

Bouncy — ateez

Va va voom — Nicki minaj

God sent me as karma — emlyn (her entire discography reminds me of Jerry)

Lovelost — margø

Go hard — twice

Tomboy — gidle

Beauty full — dreamcatcher

If u seek amy — Britney spears

Take a hint — victorious

Strut — emeline

Blow — kesha

If you were a woman (and I was a man) — Bonnie tyler

Hedwig

Something in the water — boys world

Promise me — natewantstobattle

Hotel — Claire rosinkranz

Love foolish — twice (lots of their discography fits hedwig)

I'm good — David guetta

Hi high — loona

Boys like you — itzy

Up! — kep1er

Habibi (my love) — faouzia

Pick me — produce 48

Girl's girl — emlyn

Super model —måneskin

Back in vogue — aleXa

Deja vu — triples (krystal eyes)

Cherry talk — triples (Krystal eyes)

Nee look — triples

[the-plot-blog-thing]

For Fun: Here's My Favorite Disney Songs That Were Deleted/Changed In The Final Film (Part 4)

"Someday" was meant to be Esmeralda's song in Hunchback of Notre Dame, but was replaced by "God Help the Outcasts" in the final version. It was sung over the credits, however, and both would be sung in the stage adaptation.

"Shooting Star" was the original "I Want" song from Hercules, but was cut for being "too soft". I could take either or, but "Go the Distance" is still a classic.

"I Can't Believe My Heart" was Meg's original song. It was cut for similar reasons as "Shooting Star". I definitely prefer the version we got.

Stephen Schwartz, who wrote the lyrics for Pocahontas and Hunchback with Alan Menken as well as all the music for Wicked, was originally tapped to write the music for Mulan. He left early in production to work on the music for "The Prince of Egypt" at DreamWorks. "Written In Stone" is the only song of his version available to listen to. It would've been in the spot where "Reflection" exists in the final film.

Speaking of "Reflection", when composers Matthew Wilder and David Zippel joined the film after Schwartz left, they wrote a much longer version of the song. The fact that this version is not in the film is a crime.

"Keep 'Em Guessin'" would've been Mushu's song as he introduces himself to Mulan, but Eddie Murphy's dialogue worked much better, and made things much more succinct. The song is enjoyable imo, tho.

Famously, Disney was working on a film set to release in late 2000 called Kingdom of the Sun. It was a sort of an Incan retelling of The Prince and the Pauper, with some magic and gods thrown in for good measure. It was supposed to be another grand musical on the scale of The Lion King, even sharing its co-director, Roger Allers. To match that scale, they brought in musician Sting to write the songs, thinking he'd bring the same energy that Elton John brought to Lion King's songs. Sting and co-composer David Hartley wrote three songs for this version. The first, "Walk the Llama Llama", would've been the opening song. It was to be sung by the main character, Pacha (here played by Owen Wilson), a teenage llama herder who coincidentally looks exactly like the spoiled teenaged Emperor Manco (played by David Spade). The song is Pacha expressing his love for the llama as he herded them. Pacha's singing voice would've been Sting himself in the final film. There also would've been a reprise halfway through the film and at the end, though nothing from these reprises has appeared online. Unfortunately, the only clean version of the song is this country-fied version by Rascal Flats on the Emperor's New Groove soundtrack.

The second song, "Snuff Out the Light", would have been sung by the villain of the film, Yzma (as played by Eartha Kitt). In this version, Yzma would have been an aging sorceress who hated the sun for causing her wrinkles. She would've discovered that Manco and Pacha swapped, and turned the real Pacha into a non-speaking llama. She would've manipulated Pacha into doing what she wanted. She planned to summon the Dark God, Supai to block out the sun so she wouldn't grow old. This song was fully recorded, and the sequence had quite a bit of animation finished on it before the story changed.

The third song, "One Day She'll Love Me" would have been the love song of the film, and been sung by Pacha and the emperor's betrothed, Nina. Pacha has fallen in love with Nina, but feels guilty for living a lie. Nina is starting to fall in love with him, but still believes he's Manco, and doesn't know why he's changing.

Continued in Part 5!

[thezanyarthropleura]

rewatching the Dinotopia 13-episode miniseries and just wanted to say I concur with a lot of your takes. Hopefully it's ok to infodump about it in your askbox?

26 is adorable and heart-stealing (as is Karl's love for her) and she still looks so lifelike even after 20 years since the show's airing--the combination of lower-tech puppetry and higher-tech animatronics just hits perfectly. I just want to hold her and carry her around and tickle her little head. I feel weird calling her 'lifelike' considering none of us have seen Chasmosaurs(sp?) in the flesh, but the way she blinks and shakes her head and squeals just feels authentic somehow?

'Contact' is one of my favourite episodes as well, as it legitimises this version of Karl who in earlier episodes risked coming across as trivial/annoying/shallow (I love this Karl fwiw, more than the previous 'better' series' take). The connection between Karl & Gracie is so touching and raw, and it seems like the most important thing that happened to Karl at that stage in his life, as well as a turning point in the way he relates to female peers. While I am a fan of Karl's himbo side, I appreciated seeing him finally show expertise and determination in something other than mixing drinks and flirting and wheeler-dealing, as well--after all, he's Frank's favourite son and an adventurer in his own right, why shouldn't he be capable? (we also saw his resourcefulness in 'Lose & Found').

As for Lesage, your thoughts about her past relationship with Rosemary really have me thinking as well. The reference to their fling was so fleeting that I missed it first time around, but it's definitely critical to understanding both their characters imo. Lesage definitely seems the free-spirited fiery rebellious type to run off with a woman to have sapphic adventures in the wild, even if it took said sapphic partner to bring that out of her (and it's SO interesting that Rosemary was *Lesage's* closet key). What would Dinotopia make of lesbians disrupting their natural order and their status quo? (upon which they rely for their coveted peace...) The mind reels. And I agree about the relief and pleasant surprise that this mature dark woman wasn't 'tamed' or domesticated in the storyline's conclusion, it would have been so banal if the series went that route. She clearly isn't the type who wants a traditional family, a secure home or a regular Joe older man with kids.

That said, I must confess to wanting Lesage coupled with David, as I've noticed that from their very first meeting there is deliberate tension and foreshadowing included to put them in a shippy light, and their personalities/chemistry really spark and pop off the screen more than any other pairing (probably why the actors/character got a 2-hander episode to themselves?). Also, in-keeping with 'Lesage does what she wants and breaks the mold', I think Lesage would LIVE for scandalising Dinotopia by taking their Skybax Squadron Commander/favourite Offworlder and seducing him. David for his part would go willingly I think, as he seems captivated and chagrined by Lesage, more than he is by Marion (who imo he *wants* to want and thinks he should want romantically/sexually, but deep down doesn't). David for his part clearly needs a challenge and a foil to get the most out of his life, and Lesage offers that in spades. Where are the fics is what I wanna know

Am still combing over a few of the episodes in more detail, but overall I enjoy it so much despite all the inaccuracies and how off-model and off-book it is, and for the time you can see how it broke some new ground. It's pacey, it's a good time, it's got a little bit of everything from drama to adventure to fantasy to anarchohistory/steampunk. The story and characters remind me of Xena in the way you can read them in a campy/fun way or a serious way, and it works either way. Idk why it isn't on streaming and remastered, though the selfish gatekeeping part of me is kind of glad it's not exposed like that..

Always ok!

I do wish we got more of 26 in The Cure Part 2 that wasn't plot-mandated immobility, because that small bit at the end of Part 1 where she's doing her little scamper around on modern sidewalks is such a cute and defining moment for the series and I would've loved to see her run around through crowds or make an escape through the museum. I'd say even her CGI is some of the best-looking now, probably because of working with an easier scale (although I feel like dated CGI is always going to look like dated CGI, and so try to judge it more on whether or not it emotionally connects, and 26 definitely does).

They say it like "Chasmiosaur" in the show but the dinosaur is spelled Chasmosaur/Chasmosaurus. It's real interesting that both the live-action and book versions of Dinotopia used lesser-known ceratopsians instead of the obvious triceratops.

Agreed on Karl, sketchy/sleazy relationship drama is SO not my thing and I'd say I was only tolerating it for the dinosaurs, but the way this show does it is just so over-the-top that I can't help but be at least a little entertained. Night of the Wartosa is fun to watch in an uncomfortable train wreck sense, because we see Karl at his worst and it's so agonizing, but at the end of the day it's self-aware, it's intended as a wake-up call, and we're meant to be rooting for him to become a better person and laughing at him along the way. And by Contact, we're shown he can be serious when it counts, and his story takes a deeper turn into the heartfelt that solidifies his arc.

Since it's Hallmark, I'm sure they'd find a way to make even the dinosaurs scandalized by anything non-straight. "Why yes, our ancient society founded primarily by non-humans, with its own code of conduct distinct from other world philosophies, has the same puritan sensibilities as early 2000s daytime television." I guess there's a small chance the show actually did mean they only considered themselves sisters, and that very obvious pause didn't mean anything at all, I guess we'll never know *shrug* (but since it was a show cancelled after one season, I'm gonna say that from the 2020s we can go ahead and retroactively assume it must've had lesbians).

Freely admit that if I didn't pick up on anything hinting LeSage/David, it's probably because I only really have shipping goggles for f/f relationships, and also carry around the associated 'just friends' goggles for what are often clearly intended het pairings. To each their own, I suppose, and to both of us, the tragedy of liking a piece of media that very few people have ever seen, and even fewer have seen in any way that made them think of it positively. Highly doubt the internet 20 years after the fact would have much appreciation for my 'LeSage x pachycephalosaurus chariot driver OC' daydream musings but you can bet that's probably what I'm thinking about every time I hear "Fast Car."

Oh, if this show was on streaming, people would expect WAY too much from it. It's in the backwoods of Youtube and on cheap DVDs, and I feel like that's it's natural habitat. I can only really imagine people truly liking this if it's a formative memory, they found it in some obscure corner on a rainy day and gave it a chance only half-seriously, or the rare case where they wanted to watch a dinosaur show enough to turn it on but were secretly looking for... this. It's such a fun time, but I feel like for most, you'd need to know what you're in for or it just won't click.

[the-moonjay-forest-system]

Rating plushie dreadfuls plushies

Part two: the plushies we want or apply to us:

Dissociation

Our rating: 9/10

• one of my favourites and high up on my list of buns I want to get!! I just love how they look so much a very unique design.

•it's eyes are so pretty and represent the look and feel of dissociating really well!

•I love the colours and the clock! I don't actually know what to represents for sure probably how dissociation messes with your perception of time?

•I also don't for sure know what the silver fracture markings mean it could be a few things but they also look cool.

•I'm curious about the longer fur's texture I hope it's soft and not uhh idk not soft?

Nonbinary

Our rating: 8/10

•The nonbinary flag works really great on this Bun I like it's lighting kinda pattern which gives David Bowie vibes.

•I love the black bracelet a lot of us nonbinary folk are alternative in some way lol. I don't know what the white bracelet is foe though.

•I'm not really a fan of the eyes? I think maybe they should've just been black??

•I think it could do with one or two more details I thought maybe a Beanie with some pins possibly??

Autism

Our rating: 7/10

•OK this little guy is so cute! I love the bright colours and the Teal goes so well woth the yellow.

•The rainbow infinity sign is awesome but I agree with the people who say they should tone down the infinity symbols there is a lot.

•The hand covering the mouth (which means the X is just the nose? It looked like the nose and mouth to me) is meant so representation social anxiety, stimming and selective mutism. As somebody with selective mutism I'm very happy for it to represented in some form but I do hope it gets it's own seperate Bun as well eventually.

•there's been criticism that this bun is "infantilising" due to looking more "childish" and "cutesy" than the other plushes but I don't see that personally. The eyes look like that to portray avoiding eye contact it'd probably be hard to do that with buttons or fully black eyes.

•This is actually the second version of an autism rabbit the previous one had a lot of criticism which I agree with. I'm glad they changed it, this bunny looks so much better. I do wish it still came with a stim toy like the old version though.

Asexual

Our rating: 7/10

•very cute I wouldn't really say there's anything I really have an issue with it's just not my favourite.

•The only thing I'm not suuuuper into is the spades on the ears? Maybe if they were more specifically ace of spaces playing cards and not just lots of mini spades?? I'm not sure though.

•I don't wish I had some more representation of inside jokes in the ace community like you could give it a dragon tattoo or even make it part dragon (like how the Fawn rabbit is half deer and the insomnia rabbit is half moth) or give it a littke garlic bread plushie!

Gender dysphoria

Our rating: 8/10

•One of the most popular designs and I can see why! Like I mentioned in part one I'm a sucker for a pink and black colour combo!! The trans flag colours are so pretty!

•aside from the trans symbol on the tummy I don't actually know about any symbolism or anything on the bunny relating to gender dysphoria? I think it makes a great trans bunny but I can't really make out what about it signifies dysphoria?

•I love the eyes!! Idk if the spirals have any symbolism (I Hope they do) but they look great

Goth girl

Our rating: 6/10

•Cute but lacks detail and idk overall isn't as great looking as the other buns.

•I loooove the colour Lavender but it's just a bit too "cutesy"for something representing the goth subculture. I'm not even against goth stuff being cute but there's just not enough goth element ls aside from the bows being black.

•I feel like if it wanted to be more cute while goth it could lean into a more gothic lolita vibe maybe with a little dress?

Goth boy

Our rating: 8/10

•Now this is goth! I love himmmmm and I must have him!!! Not much more to say he's beautiful.

•I love it's "bunhaus" t-shirt we can match hehe!!

•idk what the two lines on his face are though, Is it just makeup?

Taurus ♉

Our rating: 6/10

•there's also a version with cream ears but I prefer this one, Forest green is my favourite colour and I probably wouldn't like it as much without. Wish the brown was a bit darker like the cream eared one though :/

• There's a lot going on on it's head it has green hair, horns and flowers I mean you can barely even see the horns so I think the glowers should be moved somewhere else? Maybe make into a bouquet the plushy can hold instead?

•don't really like the heart symbols on it's face and being honest I sorta feel the same about the scars I think it'd look better with just one bigger scar on it's cheek or nose instead.

•I like the bell and symbol though. I've actually started liking this one quite a bit more than I originally did I'd just change a few things.

Anxiety

Our rating: 5/10

•Cute but not on too far up on our list it's mostly the colour I think? It makes sense for anxiety but I'm not really a fan they did/are doing limited edition versions in different colours but I'm still not too sure

•it face is really cute though I just want to give them a cuddle to make them feel better!

•The little evil looking mini plushes are a great addition! They're probably whidpering in the big buns ear about all the things that could go wrong and how everyone hates them and stuff.

Dyspraxia

Our rating: 6/10

•Was originally a five but I boosted them up to six because they're actually pretty cute now that I've looked at them long enough!

•I don't know anything about the symbolism in this bun but I'm sure the checker pattern and red stitches represent something. The red stitches make me think of getting cuts and scrapes which makes sense.

•it's the face for me they look so cute with the buttons and tiny nose mouth and nose

•they're just a bit simple outside of having a more interesting pattern.

[looseferrets]

A Raccoon's Fragmented Audiobook Reviews 2023-ish: Part 2

[Art of my raccoon self Geo Holms realizing that Tumblr posts had a picture limit of 30. Art by @reoisready]

Oops, found out when adding covers to this that there's only 30 pictures per entry, so here be the second part of my fragmented audiobook reviews. May you find the rest insightful, vaguely amusing, or confusing. Raccoon sounds of approval and all that.

Hollow Kingdom by by Kira Jane Buxton

Premise: A pet crow attempts to find his way in a zombie post apocalypse.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: The premise is interesting, this book frustrated the hell out of me to the point I gave up on it, picked it up months later, then almost gave up on it again. Plays with the frustrating trope of zombie stories where "anyone can die" in narratively unsatisfying ways. Plus the narrative feels as if its spinning its wheels for much of the book. Bah. I really wish I liked this book more. At least the crow is non-metaphorical.

Recommended for: Zombie fans, corvids.

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell

Premise: A nesting doll narrative of six different characters in six different eras/genres.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Greatly enjoyed the movie and wanted to check out the source material. The audiobook has six different narrators (one for each character in book) which really helps sell the nesting-doll nature. In the end, I like the movie more, which in some ways lands the themes of the book better than the book does, though this still good book to visit.

Recommended for: Souls on a journey.

Open Throat by Henry Hoke

Premise: A queer (???) mountain lion waxes about Los Angeles culture.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Literary pretentiousness to the point of being insufferable with occasional moments of brilliance. The main character being called "queer" is a bit of a stretch. He's a male cougar who once daydreamed about getting it on with another male cougar. That's the extent of it. There's also a very weird extended daydream of the cougar visiting Disneyland.

Recommended for: Queer-ish cats.

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Premise: A spaceship of quirky characters travel a long way to a small, angry planet. Relationship fluff along the way.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: This is pretty light and frothy sort of sci-fi, focused more on the interpersonal interactions of a crew on a long journey, interrupted by occasional sci-fi conflict along the way. I admit I enjoyed this greatly because I turned to this when frustrated with the crow-surviving-zombies book.

Recommended for: those who wanted Firefly to be more soft and fluffy.

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Premise: A woman visits a v cursed mansion to save her cousin from a v cursed marriage.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Pure absurd gothic horror grounded by a sensible main character who does her darnest to escape those gothic horror trope clutches. And I was totally here for it. Great book.

Recommended for: Those looking for the slow burn gothic horror vibes

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree

Premise: An orc retires from adventuring to open a coffee shop.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Pure fantasy fluff and love it. Yeah, there be some conflict along the way, but this mostly about an orc opening a small business, and opening herself up to new friends to assist her along the way (and maybe looooooove?) Also: Thimble is <33333333

Recommended for: Coffee connoisseurs.

Temeraire (1-6) by Naomi Novik

His Majesty's Dragon

Throne of Jade

Black Powder War

Empire of Ivory

Victory of Eagles

Tongues of Serpents

Premise: Napoleonic war with dragons.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Read the first three or four books of this many years back, wanted to revisit. The series has dragged at times, but overall has been a treat. Mostly for the dragons. The dragons are the best. I'm a sucker for dragons who talk and have actual personalities, and this series has those in spades. (Beware of Tongues of Serpents though, damn that book dragged. Needed to take a break for a few months after that one.)

Recommended for: Cows, just come closer, yep, that's right...

Freelance Familiars (1-3) by Daniel Potter

Off Leash

Marking Territory

High Steaks

Premise: A man is turned into a cougar and enters the magical realms as a familiar freelancer.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: This is very Dresden Files, for the better AND the worse. Thomas is an engaging and fun main character to see this world through. I read the books a while back, and was fun to go back through via audiobook. Will def read through the back half of the series soon to see where it all goes.

Recommended for: Those waking up on four paws.

How to Sell a Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

Premise: After their parents' unexpected death, a brother and sister attempt to sell their parents' (haunted) house.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Nitpicking raccoon here: this isn't so much a "haunted house" story as it is a "haunted puppet" story. I guess the puppet mostly haunts the house, but not exclusively. Just wanted to get that out there in case you were looking for a haunted house tale. The book as it is pretty entertaining (the brother's backstory with the puppet legit the best part of the book), with some mixed execution at times.

Recommended for: Taxidermists(?)

Emmy and the Incredible Shrinking Rat by Lynne Jonell

Premise: A girl finds a talking rat.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Really hits those Roald Dahl vibes well, including a pretty fun karmic justice ending for the villains.

Recommended for: Those looking for YA Roald Dahl vibes

Bookshops & Bonedust by Travis Baldree

Premise: An orc is waylaid by an injury, helps out a foul-mouthed ratkin bookshop owner in meantime.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: This being a prequel to Legends & Lattes, manages to hit the same fluffy vibes of that one, focusing on the main character from that one at a much different place in her life, giving some perspective on her character journey. Also the foul-mouthed ratkin is <3333333

Recommended for: Those looking for swearing rodents

Welcome to NightVale by Joseph Fink and Jeffrey Cranor (unfinished)

Premise: Uh...weird stuff happens at Nightvale.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: I didn't finish this one. I was used to the NightVale podcast, but listening to a NightVale novel was a dash...overwhelming. May try it again later. Wouldn't say the novel was bad, just more than I was willing to handle at the time.

Recommended for: Those looking for longer episode of Welcome to NightVale.

Odder by Katherine Applegate

Premise: Collection of poems following an otter named Odder.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: Since I listened to this, I didn't know until AFTER that it was actually a collection of poems. I just thought all the chapters were weirdly short. Still, was pretty neat way to tell the story of a sea otter's life.

Recommended for: Otters!

Starter Villain by John Scalzi

Premise: A man inherits his uncle's villain enterprise.

Brief Raccoon Thoughts: This book reads as 95% setup with 5% percent payoff (if even that). There is legit a LOT of clever ideas presented in this book, and it keeps pretty darn entertaining, but it really never commits to his core conceit, much to the book's overall detriment. I kept looking forward to what the main character did with his newfound villain resources/reputation, and I still be waiting.

Recommended for: Would-be villains

Top Five Audiobooks of 2023

Nettle & Bone by T. Kingfisher

Legends and Lattes by by Travis Baldree

Mexican Gothic by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents by Terry Pratchett

The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

In case you ran across part two first, here is link to Part 1.

[haveyoureadthisqueerbook]

Hello! First of all: love this blog! Second: I read a lot of queer books and as it turns out a lot of them weren’t already on your spreadsheet so uh. Sorry in advance for what I’m about to do to your inbox/queue 😅

Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo

Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

The City in the Middle of the Night by Charlie Jane Anders

The Time Slip Girl by Elizabeth Andre

Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree

The Queen of Cups by Ren Basel

Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust

Cinderella is Dead by Kalynn Bayron

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron

This Wicked Fate by Kalynn Bayron

Werecockroach by Polenth Blake

In the Vanishers’ Palace by Aliette de Bodard

Wain: LGBT Reimaginings of Scottish Folktales by Helene Boppert and Rachel Plummer

In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown

Tremontaine: The Complete Season One by Patty Bryant, Malinda Lo, Racheline Maltese, Joel Derfner, Ellen Kushner, Paul Witcover, and Alaya Dawn Johnson

This Other World by AC Buchanan

In Memoriam by Nathan Burgoine

The Dark Beneath the Ice by Amelinda Bérubé

Felix Ever After by Karen Callender

Last Bus to Everland by Sophie Cameron

Out of the Blue by Sophie Cameron

Once & Future by AR Capetta and Cory McCarthy

The Brilliant Death by AR Capetta

XX by Angela Chadwick

A Closed and Common Orbit by Becky Chambers

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers

The Vela by Becky Chambers, Rivers Solomon, Yoon Ha Lee, and SL Huang

Black Water Sister by Zen Cho

The True Queen by Zen Cho

The Terracotta Bride by Zen Cho

The Water that Falls on You From Nowhere by John Chu

The Shape of My Name by Nino Cipri

A Dead Djinn in Cairo by P. Djèlí Clark

Girlhood by Cat Clarke

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Córdova

Dreadnought by April Daniels

Sovereign by April Daniels

Thornfruit by Felicia Davin

Nightvine by Felicia Davin

Shadebloom by Felicia Davin

Her Majesty’s Royal Coven by Juno Dawson

Stay Another Day by Juno Dawson

Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

Bitter by Akwaeke Emezi

The Drowning Eyes by Emily Foster

Bingo Love by Tee Franklin

Upright Women Wanted by Sarah Gailey

Knit One, Girl Two by Shira Glassman

The Gilda Stories by Jewelle Gomez

We Go Around in the Night and Are Consumed by Fire by Jules Grant

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant

The One Hundred Nights of Hero by Isabel Greenberg

Keeper of the Dawn by Dianna Gunn

The Well of Loneliness by Radclyffe Hall

The Outside by Ada Hoffman

The Fallen by Ada Hoffman

The Infinite by Ada Hoffman

Mindtouch by MCA Hogarth

Sing the Four Quarters by Tanya Huff

The Apocalypse of Elena Mendoza by Shaun David Hutchinson

The City of Woven Streets by Emmi Itäranta

Godkiller by Hannah Kaner

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann

The Beast of Callaire by Saruuh Kelsey

The Lamb Will Slaughter the Lion by Margaret Killjoy

An Excess Male by Maggie Shen King

Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe

Crimson by Niviaq Korneliussen

Godsgrave by Jay Kristoff

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

The Faerie Godmother’s Apprentice Wore Green by Nicky Kyle

Avi Cantor Has Six Months to Live by Sacha Lamb

When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

Goldie Vance Vol. 1 by Hope Larson

Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor

Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie

Ancillary Sword by Ann Leckie

Ancillary Mercy by Ann Leckie

The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie

Not Your Sidekick by CB Lee

Not Your Villain by CB Lee

Not Your Backup by CB Lee

The Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy by Mackenzi Lee

The Fever King by Victoria Lee

The Fox’s Tower and Other Tales by Yoon Ha Lee

Phoenix Extravagant by Yoon Ha Lee

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger

Adaptation by Malinda Lo

Inheritance by Malinda Lo

Natural Selection by Malinda Lo

Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

The Hand, the Eye, and the Heart by Zoë Marriott

Luna: New Moon by Ian McDonald

Luna: Wolf Moon by Ian McDonald

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Down Among the Sticks and Bones by Seanan McGuire

Beneath the Sugar Sky by Seanan McGuire

Come Tumbling Down by Seanan McGuire

Forbid the Sea by Seanan McGuire

In Sea-Salt Tears by Seanan McGuire

The Unbinding of Mary Reade by Miriam McNamara

An Accident of Stars by Foz Meadows

A Tyranny of Queens by Foz Meadows

All Out: The No-Longer Secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages ed. Saundra Mitchell

Thistlefoot by GennaRose Nethercott

Princess Princess Ever After by K. O’Neill

The Tea Dragon Society by K. O’Neill

The Tea Dragon Festival by K. O’Neill

The Tea Dragon Tapestry by K. O’Neill

Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta

Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman

She Who Became the Sun by Shelley Parker-Chan

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters

Stormsong by CL Polk

Soulstar by CL Polk

She Drives Me Crazy by Kelly Quindlen

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid

The Tiger’s Daughter by K Arsenault Rivera

The Phoenix Empress by K Arsenault Rivera

The Warrior Moon by K Arsenault Rivera

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland

Birthday by Meredith Russo

If I Was Your Girl by Meredith Russo

The Midnight Lie by Marie Rutkoski

A Day of Fallen Night by Samantha Shannon

Dying for a Living by Kory M. Shrum

Two Dark Moons by Avi Silver

History is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera

More Happy Than Not by Adam Silvera

The Abyss Surrounds Us by Emily Skrutskie

The Edge of the Abyss by Emily Skrutskie

An Unkindness of Ghosts by Rivers Solomon

The Summer of Jordi Perez (and the Best Burger in Los Angeles) by Amy Spalding

The Traitor’s Tunnel by CM Spivey

Nimona by ND Stevenson

Chameleon Moon by RoAnna Sylver

Small Changes Over Long Periods of Time by KM Szpara

As I Descended by Robin Talley

Lies We Tell Ourselves by Robin Talley

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh

Drowned Country by Emily Tesh

Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas

No Gods, No Monsters by Cadwell Turnbull

Crier’s War by Nina Varela

Iron Heart by Nina Varela

The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

When the Tiger Came Down the Mountain by Nghi Vo

Into the Riverlands by Nghi Vo

On a Sunbeam by Tillie Walden

Mooncakes by Suzanne Walker

Fingersmith by Sarah Waters

System Collapse by Martha Wells

A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe by Alex White

The Black Tides of Heaven by Neon Yang

The Red Threads of Fortune by Neon Yang

The Descent of Monsters by Neon Yang

The Ascent to Godhood by Neon Yang

Waiting on a Bright Moon by Neon Yang

Taproot by Keezy Young

Phew! Finally got all of these queued! Thank you so much for the list, and for arranging them so neatly, which definitely made it easier to transfer over to a spreadsheet!

[acacia-may]

Thank you again for your ask, anon! 💖 I apologise that this has taken me a bit, but here are my favourite Black Clover characters narrowed down to 10. This was hard choice (part of the reason it has taken so long for me to answer this ask), but I allowed myself 5 female characters and 5 male characters in order to narrow it down! 😅

Note: This is list is in the order that they popped into my head.

Vanessa Enoteca

Charmy Pappitson

Finral Roulacase

Langris Vaude

Finesse Calmreich

Magna Swing

Noelle Silva

Charlotte Roselei

Gordon Agrippa

Henry Legolant

[Also worth mentioning: David, Dorothy, Grey, Leo, Letoile, Mereoleona, Rill, William, and Yuno...and so many others...This was difficult 💦]

This post ended up so much longer than I anticipated (I really should not be given license/encouragement to talk about my favourite Black Clover characters 😅) so I've decided to break the discussion in half and only talk about the first five characters here. The second half I'll have to add on later (as to not be too overwhelming 💦)

Discussion under the cut because it's long and contains some spoilers for the Elf and Spade Arcs. Also, some mild, vaugish discussions of certain characters' childhood tr*uma and mentions of past verbal, emotional, & psychological ab*se related to their tragic backstories.

1. Vanessa — Gosh, I love her! She might be my favourite character. There is just so much more to her than the token drunk, fan-service party-girl, that you originally see. She's the best "big sister" to everyone on her squad and has such a gift for building people up and encouraging them. Despite all of the pain and terrible experiences in her past, she chooses to be kind and still finds reasons to be genuinely happy, and what she wants more than anything else is to make everyone around her happy too. She's warm, intuitive, empathetic, a great listener, and one of the best at advice, and she loves her friends so deeply (with bonds so strong they can literally bring them back from the dead). I think one of my favourite things about her is how she is incredibly strong, independent, and capable as both a person and a mage, but she also gets to have her light-hearted, silly, and playful moments and gets to like more traditionally feminine things (which is not something a lot of strong female characters in media usually get to do, as if being feminine and being strong & independent are mutually exclusive 🙄 So it is really wonderful and refreshing to get to see all of those traits in her). Also, her character arc is stellar, in my opinion, and one of the best handled in the series. (That moment where she stares down at Her Majesty and tells her they have no bonds, gives me chills every time). She has grown so much, and it warms my heart that she has her Black Bulls family after everything she has been through. I want all the good things for her! 💕

2. Charmy — Charmy cracks me up! She always brings the brightest smile to my face whenever she shows up, but even more than that, I think she is a much better character than she is given credit for. I really love that oft-forgotten snarky, playful, a little bluntly honest, and a bit more intuitive side of her, so I try to bring that out when I write about her. I have a lot of respect for the role Charmy takes in her friendships too. In my mind at least, she isn't completely oblivious to what's going on with her friends, but for the most part, she chooses to takes this laissez-faire/'live and let live' attitude with them. She cares about them very much, wants them to be happy, and will make them all kinds of delicious foods to cheer them up if they're sad or upset, but she's a bit hands-off when it comes to what they decide to do with their lives (and doesn't feel it's her business to intervene unless she has to). If they want to share, I have no doubt that she'd listen (probably from the kitchen where she's putting a tray of cupcakes in the oven), but I really do think she personally is more comfortable showing support through feeding her friends rather than getting involved in their problems. (The issue being, of course, on those rare occasions, when her food doesn't work...). I've got a deep love for rare Charmy friendships--especially between her and Vanessa, and her and Finral (neither of which made it on my top 10 relationships but they'd probably rank as 11 & 12). My favourite future headcanon for Charmy is that she starts a bar & restaurant with Vanessa and marries Rill. 😊

3. Finral — It's probably obvious to anyone who has spent any length of time around my blog that I love the spatial brothers and could talk about them for ages (so I will try my best to keep it brief 😅). As much as I love him now, Finral actually annoyed me in the beginning with all of his excessive flirting (though my sister always teased me that he was my "secret favourite"), but I think that as the story goes on, we really get to dive into the why behind the way he is acting—that he’s really just starving for the unconditional love he never received as a child and that he has such a big, generous and kind heart and is looking for real love rather than just flings (like the usual “token flirt” character). Those kinds of wounds never really go away, and I think that inside Finral there is still a sad, lonely little boy just desperately waiting for, wishing for love that never comes and blaming himself for not being good enough to “earn” it. It breaks my heart—I just want somebody to scoop him up and hug him and tell him it isn’t his fault. And yes, it really is impossible not to love him after that—even if there have been many times when he as a character (and his arc) have frustrated me. I will say, I really think that Finral is at his best when he isn't trying so hard to be charming. Yes, he's a scatterbrained goofball, but he's a lovable scatterbrained goofball—and I personally find that extremely endearing. He wears his heart on his sleeve, is sensitive not only to his own feelings but also to the feelings of others, and he is incredibly sincere. It's rare that male characters get to be so soft and so vulnerable and get to have such big feelings without being a complete joke. (Sure there are some jokes about Finral being emotional, but for the most part, his emotions are validated and respected). He is also one of the most genuinely kind characters in the series, extremely generous, humble, and loyal to his friends. (He's also sometimes, begrudgingly, the voice of reason for them which is, honestly, saying something about the Black Bulls...). And, perhaps most importantly, he is all of these things even after of all of the horrible things that have happened to him in his life (which could have just as easily made him jaded, cold, and cynical like Langris). Finral has suffered a lot, but he still chooses kindness and forgiveness--chooses to see and to believe in the good in people (even in people who hurt him, like his brother who he never gives up on and always gives the benefit of the doubt). There is a strength in that kindness that he doesn't give himself credit for.

4. Langris — As much as I didn't particularly care for Finral in the beginning, I positively detested Langris for the longest time (because, of course, as soon as I start to really like Finral's character, Langris shows up and is nothing but nasty to him. I actually remember my sister and I, turning to each other saying, “Do we like Finral now?” “I think we like Finral now” right before we started the episode where Langris first appeared 💦). I never thought I'd be a Langris sympathizer (and certainly not to this extent), but I always got the feeling that Langris was a victim of the toxicity and abuse of House Vaude, too. It is a horrible, cruel thing for parents to withhold unconditional love from their children, and as much as Ledior and Liliane withheld love from Finral, they withheld it from Langris as well forcing him to “earn” their love by living up to unattainable expectations of perfection. Even though he was the "perfect son" and extremely successful, nothing he ever did was enough for his parents, leaving him a jaded and insecure overachieving perfectionist who is extremely hard on others but is even harder on himself. He is also, arguably, starving for unconditional love as much as Finral—the difference being that where his brother tries to fill that void with flirting & pursuing romantic relationships, Langris tries to fill it with his accomplishments, successes, and achievements (ultimately & unhealthily finding his entire sense of self-worth in them). I think what's really tragic here is that Langris has such a deep capacity for love--I have no doubt that when he chooses to care about someone, he will love forever. However, he has this crippling fear of vulnerability and rejection that prevents him from building meaningful relationships. He doesn't like games he can't see a possibility of winning and since he doesn't believe that anyone could actually love him, he counts himself out of the running and closes himself off to people--his brother included. None of this excuses any of the horrible things that Langris has done or the way that he has treated Finral, but it does make him a little more sympathetic and gives me hope for a brighter future in which he and Finral can make amends and begin to rebuild their brotherly relationship. My poor boys, I want good things for them. 💚💙

I know I have droned on and on already, but I feel like I've just roasted Langris without saying many good things about him 😅 so I'm adding some here. Langris is incredibly intelligent, forthright, dependable, responsible, and loyal. He can be snarky and a little too blunt at times, but I think for all of his attempts at being cold, curt, and detached, he actually has a secret softer, gentler side. In the companion to this post (about my top 10 favourite Black Clover relationships), I talked a little about Langris's friendship with Finesse and how that brings out this soft side of him. With her, I think, we get to see that he's very attentive and thoughtful, and that he can actually be very selfless. He genuinely wants her to be happy--even if that means helping his brother shape up so he can be a man worthy of her and take over their House (when, arguably, Langris is the one who wants to be the Head of House Vaude and has worked towards that goal for his entire life). And that is the Langris that I like--the Langris who cares very, very much, not in some big, grand gesture but in a cluster of small gestures that really boil down to being loyal, stable, and present when someone needs him and to being willing to make sacrifices for what's best for someone else. Say what you will about Langris (and there are a lot of negative and critical things to say about him), but when it comes down to it, I think he has grown a lot over the series and the person that he is now, has shown an admirable willingness to give up the things he wants for the people he cares about if he thinks that's what's best for them (not just in the example with Finesse and Finral, but he also gives up his greatest achievement, being Vice Captain of the Golden Dawn, to Yuno and basically admits in Spade that it's because Yuno is the better leader for their squad). He cares more than he's willing to admit, and though I don't think he'll ever be the type to easily express it with his words, his actions speak loud enough. And yes, I like him very much for that. 💖

5. Finesse — I suppose this is a good segue since I was just talking about her, but, yes, I know she is an out-of-the-box choice. However, I'm incredibly fond of her and think she is criminally underrated. I'll admit her appearance in media res did throw me for a loop for a bit and gave me some emotional whiplash at first, but that's not her fault (and is another story entirely). Even so, Finesse is instantly likeable. She might be the kindest person in this entire series, and she so generously and naturally gives to others without expecting anything for herself. She has such a gentle strength to her too--a beautiful example that even the smallest acts of kindness and encouragement can really make a hugest difference. What she’s done for Finral and Langris just by caring about them and offering them compassion and believing the best in them has really meant the world to them, I think (saying nothing of the fact that, in turn, both of the spatial mage boys would bend over backwards to make her happy--a fact that, I think, would genuinely surprise her as she's so humble, bless her heart 💕). I have no doubt that she genuinely cares for both Finral and Langris very much, and she is so good for both of her boys and knows them so well--sometimes, even better than they know themselves. I don't know the extent to which she understands the reality of how awful things are at House Vaude because, I imagine, both Finral and Langris are very protective of her and don’t want to "burden" her with their problems (though she wouldn't see it that way if they ever did open up to her, of course); however, I think she knows that things are difficult for them (i.e. that Finral is struggling with self-deprecation and was suffering emotionally before he left home and that Langris is much harder on himself than he is on anyone else and misses his brother very much) and decides to be this kind, warm, and gentle presence in both of their lives. She chooses to see so much good in them, even if they can't see it in themselves (when she tells Finral that she believes he's a true magic knight or defends Langris to the King even when he's gone on an elf-possession-induced rampage, for instance). No matter what, she selflessly wants what's best for her boys, and there's something very sweet about how she inspires them to become the best version of themselves--with Finral striving to become "worthy of her" and Langris bringing out that softer, gentler side when they're spending time together.

I think Finesse gets a bit of a bad rep for being meek, gentle, and “dull” (to quote a younger, dumber version of a certain someone who likely just didn't want to be in arranged marriage), but there really is a strength in consistently choosing to be kind, especially in the face of adversity. This poor girl is chronically ill and (arguably because of that) is forced into an arranged marriage which is, on paper at least, undesirable for her--marrying into House Vaude is definitely below her station as a member of the House of Kira, plus it's a literal hellscape of a vicious cycle of toxicity and abuse. Her future in-laws are genuinely horrible people who traumatized their sons with their cruelty, leaving both of her possible future spouses/romantic prospects with serious, unresolved psychological issues. Not to mention the fact that she doesn't even really know which one of their sons she's actually engaged to... Just luckily, Finral and Langris are decent enough people and either of them would be likely be a good husband and try his best to make her happy, but still... this is a lot for poor Finesse. And yet, she takes this all in stride, approaches the situation with dignity, grows to genuinely care for Langris and Finral, and shows them nothing but kindness, support, and encouragement (quite possibly for the first time in their lives). In fact, when Langris has all that elf-business and the King threatens to dissolve the betroval and punish the Vaudes, it is Finesse who comes to their defense rather than taking what is quite possibly her only chance at an "out," and there is something to be admired in that, I think. She just deserves a lot more love and a lot more credit than she is given, and she is genuinely one of my favourites. 💖

Thank you so much for reading all the way to the end! 🥰 Many thanks again for the ask, anon. 💖 I think I will need to stop there for now. I will talk about the other 5 in another post as this one is already super long... 😅 Cheers!! 🥂

[shrimpscocktail]

help me find...

hey everyone! for a while, i've been looking for a few videos and thought i'd just ask right here lol maybe someone happens to have 'em?

a skate video that used to be on david's website in the early 2000s, i only have this screenshot

the footage of david on stage with aerosmith that was used in dickie roberts (here's the clip from the movie)

david on the tonight show may 3, 1996

any full episodes of lights out with david spade or the showbiz show

[thevindicativevordan]

Weekly comics reviews?

Nightwing #98 - I guess the marriage isn't happening after all? Otherwise this was Tom Taylor, the terminally online Twitter user who writes for the shared on social media cropped images crowd, fully indulging himself.

World's Finest #9 - Thought David would be responsible for his world blowing up. What he did would definitely leave you with hardcore survivor's guilt, but given all of his outbursts of rage, I had imagined something much worse. Despite Waid being seen as the Silver Age fanboy, he writes Joker in the same post-Moore mold as everyone else.

Stargirl: The Lost Children #1 - Never read a Stargirl book before, still haven't read Johns first JSA run, but I enjoyed this. None of the Hypertime bullshit or Johns trying to assert his will over the rest of the DCU, just a simple and straightforward character-first book. Hope that stays the case for the rest of the issues.

Batman: One Bad Day: Mr. Freeze #1 - Second one of these I've enjoyed. Probably the best execution of walking the line between keeping as much of the sympathetic Heart of Ice characterization as possible, while still showing that Freeze is enough of a bastard to justify him being an ongoing villain.

Immortal X-Men #8 - Four Sinisters all exploring different solutions to how to beat A.I. Diamond Sinister as the one we know and hate who is focused on mutants, Club Sinister (Dr. Stasis) who is focused on humanity, Spade Sinister (Orbis Stellaris?) who is focused on aliens, and Heart Sinister (Mother Righteous?) who is focused on magic. Guessing Sins of Sinister is going to be about the four of them fighting, with the other three catching wind of our Sinister's Moira clones and robbing him of that power in the end.

And since that's all for this week I'll throw in some from last week too:

Dark Crisis #6 - Total disappointment on the whole this may be, but Williamson writes a kickass Jon and that scene with Jon and Clark was dope. I wish he was writing Jon's solo instead of Taylor. Unfortunately everything else sucks, Jace shows up and deus ex machina's Pariah away, Yara barely contributed aside from a brief moment with Pariah, and the Titans have been absolutely useless this entire event.

I Am Batman #15 - Best of the issue of the series this far, weird how it's an event tie-in.

Superman: Son of Kal-El #17 - Almost done. I guess the scene where Jon came out to Clark was sweet, but all I can think about is the one where he and Clark discuss what they accomplished while Clark was gone. This whole goddamn series was kicked off with Jon asking Clark why Clark didn't do more, and resolving that he was going to step up and be the Man of Today. Here we are almost a year later and Clark liberated an entire planet while Jon did a single city. Christ, how do you not see Jon as a failure and slactivist in that light? His old man has accomplished more than he has!

The New Golden Age #1 - Am I supposed to hate the Time Masters? Because I do, they're both stupid and incompetent. I kind of love that everyone is screaming at Johns to stop touching Watchmen and The Killing Joke, to quit rifling through Moore's trash, and he just keeps doubling down on it! More everyone begs him to quit the more determined he is to shove his ideas in everyone's faces. Least Helena Wayne entering the picture is cool, I liked her portion of the book.

WildC.A.T.S #1 - Standard Rosenberg book, I found it enjoyable but it clearly is relying on you coming to these characters with some degree of familiarity which I don't have. I know who Grifter is at least because I reread the Urban Legends setup issues, but everyone else I don't have a clue about.

A.X.E. Judgement Day Omega - Best Marvel event since Hickman, but I am sad the hipster Machine is only pretending to be bad. Irrational it may be, but my dislike for it's "le quirky" dialogue is all too genuine. Guess this is it for the Eternals huh? Marvel and Gillen were really relying on the movie being a hit to let him have a long run, and since it flopped their push is over. Too bad because Gillen really made me like them.

Fantastic Four #1 - This was good! Man is it nice to have a readable FF book again, even if I am irritated that it's doing the dumb "mystery box" cliffhanger that ASM is doing.

Sabretooth & the Exiles #1 - Sooooo good! Up there with X-Men Red and Immortal X-Men for best book in the lineup, they need to give LaValle more Marvel books ASAP, this guy clearly is going to be a star one day.

[darkmaga-returns]

Pepe Lives Matter

Oct 19, 2024

I just found out an alarming statistic showing that 49% of Evangelical Christians are claiming they are not going to vote in this election.

I am pleading for Christians to vote in this election.

This is appalling.

Christians are offended by Trump because he said a few bad words and his personality made them uncomfortable but when George Bush pretended to be a moral man while killing millions in the Middle East as a mass murderer, they were appeased. This is astonishing when you really break it down. The issue here is this: Many Christians don't realize that the people who are the most evil are the same exact ones pretending to be good, wholesome, and moral. But behind the scenes, they are beyond sick. You'd think they would be the ones to understand this given the Bible itself says that Satan appears as an angel of light. He doesn't always come to you and say, Yeah ‘I'm the bad guy and you must resist me.’ It's just mind-blowing to me that so many Christians can be spiritually dull to the war happening right in front of their eyes just because the mainstream media told them to hate Donald Trump. This is the same mainstream media that told them that the war in the Middle East was extremely moral (it massacred millions, never ended), that never asked a single question about Epstein Island, that covers up every sin the establishment makes without hesitation. It's no wonder they cannot see the Forest from the trees. They are being blinded to the truth. So Trump said a bad word or he didn't have the most moral life? So what? He took a bullet for this country, by a lone gunman whose origin the government is obviously covering up, the media persecuted him for years in a Russia collusion treason hoax, and he has put his life on the line to save the trajectory of this country. And if you've done extensive research like I and many people have these last eight years, he has been viciously fighting the sickest people I've ever had the displeasure of learning about. Trump is the bravest man I've witnessed and, to me, that is a moral characteristic worth a thousand fake politicians pretending to be on your side while secretly making deals, and backstabbing you behind the curtain. Courage is a character trait seldom found in today’s modern society, yet Trump has this in spades. I am appalled at how asleep the church can be if we have 49 percent of evangelicals not voting. These are the people who are supposed to believe in the spiritual forces of wickedness and God himself and yet they can't see that battle being waged right in front of their face because the corrupt politicians told them nice things and didn't send out a mean tweet. How can a Christian vote for unfettered abortion, and human sacrifice? It is unimaginable for someone who reads the verse in Jeremiah: I know the plans I have for you, I made you and formed you in the womb. And then vote for someone who wants sex changes for children and all you can access death. If it wasn't for Trump, Roe V Wade would have never even have fallen in the first place given he was able to implement Supreme Court Justices. But it's more than that. The people at the top of this system. They are telling you how nice they are while worshiping the very forces of darkness and 49% of Evangelical Christians do not seem to realize this.

If you expect all of the people God uses to be morally perfect, then you are gravely mistaken. It was David himself, who God said was a man after His own heart, who had many issues with women and flaws that held him down. Yet he was mighty, brave, and did spectacular things with God. I'm tired of Christians being so blind and I had to rant about this to someone. History is going to look fondly upon Donald Trump. He has been on a campaign to save this country from people so wicked, I don't even want to write down what kind of things they do in the dark here at this moment. So many of you already know the truth of this. But share this with an undecided Christian if you know one and perhaps it'll change their mind. You don't have to like Donald Trump's personality but you do need to wake up. I am pleading with the Christian population to vote and support the man who has been saving children like no President has in modern history.

Once you understand this, you cannot help but be moved. Please vote!

Added to Thread

Christians: We now know as a fact that Kamala Harris told rally goers who shouted, Jesus is Lord, that they were not welcome. This is a battle between good and evil. Wake up.

[rosetyler42]

Some hypothetical HT credit gags If my team of the Drac Pack's pokemon were canon! I went with the classic voice actors here, so, left to right, top to bottom:

1. Lulu the Zoroark transformed into Drac next to A for Adam Sandler

2. Ericka and Eve revealing Katharyn Hahn's name

3. Audrey the Indeedee levitating Asher Blinkoff's name next to Dennis.

4. Murray and Griffin watch Harry's fire twirling act with flames revealing Keegan Micheal Key and David Spade's name.

5. Johnny, Mavis, and Lydia riding Pyro, who blows fire into Andy Samberg and Selena Gomez' names.

6. Dave the Toxtricity zaps Frank and Eunice, frizzing Eunice's hair and lighting up Kevin James and Fran Dresher's names.

7. Mark the Loudred and the brains bopping it under Mark Mothersbaugh's title

8. Columbia appears out if the pool and sings, with Winnie and Van Helsing in bubbles

9. And finally, Aristotle appears under Genndy's direction credit, just before hypnotizing the viewer.

@lovelylivelyv @black-ak9 @hotelt-resurrection @ssleeping-in-a-coffin @serial-serializednovelreader @wingingfromthezing @deathfangirl9 @twinklecupcake @ebevkisk @wingingfromthezing @heartsong1994

[parkerbombshell]

Cobwebs And Strange Radio Show #368

Cobwebs And Strange Radio Show  Mondays 12 noon EST , 5pm BST , 9am PDT COBWEBS AND STRANGE #368 - Boy George - Funtime (Cheapness And Beauty, 1995) - Stereolab - Captain Easychord (Sound-Dust, 2001) - Pixies - Chicken (The Night the Zombies Came, 2024)* - Messer Chups - Intox-Tika (Night Stripper EP, 2023) - SUPER 8 - Tell It Like It Is (Retro Metro, 2024)* trip8.bandcamp.com - Bananarama - Cheers Then (Deep Sea Skiving, 1983) - The March Violets - Bite The Hand (Crocodile Promises, 2024)* marchvioletsband.bandcamp.com - Elastica - Mad Dog (The Menace, 2000) - Monsune - Outta My Mind (Tradition, 2019) - Dayglow - Can I Call You Tonight? (Fuzzybrain, 2018) - Stargazer Lilies - We Are The Dreamers (We Are The Dreamers, 2013) - The Crushing Violets - Hollywood (Filaments Of Creation, 2024)* thecrushingviolets.bandcamp.com - Kraftwerk - Neon Lights (2017) (3-D: The Catalogue, 2017) - BMX Bandits - E102 (The Rise & Fall Of BMX Bandits, 2009) - J-Kwon - Tipsy (Club Mix) (Hood Hop, 2004) - Truth Hurts - Addictive (Truthfully Speaking, 2002) - Eddie Murphy - Party All The Time (How Could It Be, 1985) - Carin Leon - It Was Always You (Siempre Fuiste Tú) (Boca Chueca, Vol. 1, 2024)* - The Raveonettes - Leader Of The Pack (The Raveonettes Sing…, 2024)* - The Limiñanas - Primitivism (Un Autre Monde Dans Notre Monde, 2024)* - Cocteau Twins - Ivo (Treasure, 1984) - Robin Guthrie - Without A Word (Atlas EP, 2024)* robinguthrie.bandcamp.com - The Raft - Far Away From Here (Look At The Patterns, 2024)* shorediverecords.bandcamp.com - The Suncharms - Saddest Sound (Beautiful Noise, 2024)* sundayrecords.bandcamp.com - sparkle*jets u.k. - Princess Needy (Box of Letters, 2024)* bigstirrecords.bandcamp.com - Sassyhiya - Kristen Stewart (Take You Somewhere, 2024)* sassyhiya.bandcamp.com - Mannequin Pussy - Nothing Like (I Got Heaven, 2024)* mannequinpussy.bandcamp.com - Perry Blake - Nobody’s Child (Death Of A Society Girl, 2024)* moochinaboutltd.bandcamp.com - American Spring - Sweet Mountain (Spring, 1972) - Michael Kiwanuka - Floating Parade (single, 2024)* - YUQI - Red Rover (YUQ1, 2024)* - æspa - Salty & Sweet (MY WORLD: The 3rd Mini Album, 2024)* - Billie Joe Armstrong - Black Haired Girl (Silver Patron Saints: The Songs of Jessie Malin, 2024)* - Jesse Malin - Do You Remember Rock ’n’ Roll Radio (On Your Sleeve, 2008) - The Linda Lindas - I'm So Happy To Be Little (Yo Gabba GabbaLand!, 2024)* - The Speed Of Sound - Underground (A Cornucopia: Victory, 2024)* thespeedofsound.bandcamp.com - Susan James - Aquamarine (Time Is Now, 2024)* susanjames.bandcamp.com - Shop Assistants - Ace Of Spades (John Peel session 11/11/86) (Will Anything Happen: Deluxe Edition, 2024)* - David Christian - (I’m A) Shop Assistant (Oh Wow! Here Comes The Now!, 2024)* comet-gain.bandcamp.com - John Howard - Diamond Meadows (Songs For Mr Feld EP, 2024)* - David Bowie - Lady Stardust (The Rise And Fall Of Ziggy Stardust And The Spiders From Mars, 1972) - John Mayall & The Bluesbreakers - Key To Love (Blues Breakers, 1966) - The Four Tops - Reach Out I’ll Be There ((Reach Out, 1967) - Living With Lions - Second Narrows (Island, 2018) - Evelyn Thomas - High Energy (High Energy, 1984) - Moby Grape - Can’t Be So Bad (Wow, 1968) - Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds- Long Dark Night (Wild God, 2024)* Read the full article

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Thus on taught into Loyns you”)

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be read and which, an ejects band: she water pay.     As hour, the night. Blush; the slow supine agling their weed, lyre grim David live the range that     her eyes. Fresh in filled beneath dying who kick and Tam. Man, my heaven, keeps from the looks     wealthou lover��s daring—when at the spight would new would Caves open the shrill the glooms he     comes at thought voyage small of growed.

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to dazzling forsake its amid none and Land: and     rhymers in so long the on the need you miser mould I cheek, the new rosy mossets     an is fill they will withou take light in this, Whispersonable fair Pries man ominions.     The could she tedious mayst the wings in house die can grey of my yon sensel grew     out to malion a glow, and what I

sees the vale; he pain: and light. Thus on taught into     Loyns you. Alas a Pater way of thinking sight, ’ said that I wall prosper bring like streast     yet Cossed there in to the surel safely spade man ill we corn agained, and not     whirling crite, the she were than my own: my window pay? Dim: the sloping Herself, who dissed     here. Up to her to Ruine thou does

here two far, I left be familiarly Pious,     and a royal Peoples, whose to grew have growing all leasantly—justified and he     only heart drafty expect on his run. In Caleb freaker’s prouder heart, mail, and them;     at thy recond open extremblies, nay, whisperious plague from Hebrew’d: doubtful a souls     they lifted round his Partisans wave

to that wish then fair. I feebly grown and deep you     away: his was breast, or king. Had herse under-tufts—daisies, wants any, to combinety     you none. You my Katient was while all thicks, that was our versal seed, turn! Till Godlike     ancients! The moon, and what They their that looked bale: that wear. With break, breakfast of she beauty’s     going great: a wish grief. You but ryper

call’d with the lie, that is the did Man. Which, wont     those hue, and the bier, white Turk reflectic proceed us fully drinks at your mothere     thy bed. Of snoods, that Succeed. Cant, and gon taught; ’ tis ther spots the Numerous Show,—it man’s     defeast more. Might, who can green clouder true! I’d by dead Arthur’s Images have my     present yours; or the sun, and breath-bed.