#life’s just been so busy with work and figuring it all out

[littlcdarlin]

Who Will Love A Little Sparrow?

summary: Joel turns sixty.

warnings: girthy age gap (60 & mid 20s), Joel feels guilty about age gap, I cried while writing this, emotional fluff

note: it took one ask to convince me to actually write this lol hope you like it, anon! Title is from the Simon & Garfunkel song

Joel hasn't quite realized he's turning sixty – sure, he knows he looks it, feels it in his cracking joints, aching back and wheezing lungs, sees it in the stares the two of you get walking through Jackson hand in hand, but your company keeps him young. Three and a half decades between you will do that to a man.

He's never liked a big fuss on his birthday; even when he was half his age all the singing and balloons embarrassed him more than anything, so he didn't mention it was coming up during the weeks beforehand. You knew, of course, and so did Tommy, but he figured patrols would keep the two of you busy enough to prevent anything more than an extra kiss from you and a teasing comment from his brother – maybe birthday sex when you were done with your work for the day.

When he wakes up, it's his first thought, though not in excitement, but resignation. Sixty. The number feels like a chasm between the two of you. It makes him feel dirty for having touched you the night before, and he wishes humanity hadn't decided on the decimal numeral system.

You're scheduled for the morning patrol, so he doesn't expect you home before noon, which for the first time in his life feels like a relief. It gives him a couple of hours to bury the guilt about your age somewhere deep and secure, under vague childhood memories and the first thirteen decimals of Pi, where it won't come bubbling up while you're laughing your sunshine-laugh. He doesn't want to dim your spark, not when you seem to just have found it again.

He scuffles downstairs, dragging his feet as if he's turning ninety instead of sixty, just to wallow in his self-pity while nobody is around to see it. If he's lucky, he'll have two more decades, maybe even three, though that kind of hope is practically brazen.

He sighs, making his way over to the kitchen, thinking that if he makes his coffee strong enough, it might make him feel fifty again.

"Happy Birthday."

His head snaps up, and he's staring at you instead of his toes, your youthful face a little blotchy from the excitement.

"Here," you say, and thrust a cupcake in his direction. There is a single purple candle on it, and the frosting isn't draped across the dough in artful swirls the way they did it before the outbreak – still, it's the best cupcake he has ever seen.

"I couldn't fit sixty candles on this thing, so you get one."

Your smile is a little lopsided, a little too understanding, and Joel swallows.

"Thanks," he mutters quietly, staring at the blue part of the flame. "Geez."

"Blow it out," you say, "and make a wish."

He doesn't believe in that, but he obliges because you somehow found him a cupcake in the middle of the apocalypse at the crack of dawn.

"Now," you say, almost business-like, as if the first bullet point of one of your little lists has been crossed off, "I got Tommy and Maria to cover us on patrols today. What do you wanna do first, drink outrageously bitter coffee, or carve a wooden sparrow?"

He stares at you. You must have found the little bird he made during his many sleepless hours – he put it on the very top shelf in the living room where it wouldn't attract attention. It's not that he's embarrassed about it, he's just not sure it's a part of himself he wants to share with the world.

You put the cupcake on the kitchen counter and turn back around, that same knowing smile on your lips.

"I got you something," you say, and Joel frowns.

"You shouldn't trade for–"

"I didn't."

You hand him a small package, wrapped in some old newspaper you decorated with tiny, drawn-on hearts.

"Tommy said you used to wrap presents in colorful paper just to throw it away," you explain, that sense of wonder in your voice, as always when you talk about the before, "I didn't have paint, but I found a pen that works."

Joel stares at the package. He remembers the last birthday present he unwrapped perfectly, can see it catch the morning sunlight on his wrist.

"I–Geez," he just says, again, and starts to carefully peel away the newspaper without creasing your little artwork too much. His thumb traces one of the hearts. There is a hint of red inside the paper, and then he's holding something small.

"Where did you get this?", he asks, voice quiet with awe and something else that seems to thicken his throat.

"I found it in an abandoned raider's lair," you say softly, "I know I should have handed it to Maria, but I thought you could use it for your sparrow. Give him a face, you know, some feathers."

Joel traces the little cross on the Swiss army knife, and feels his chest tighten.

"Don't tell on me," you say teasingly, but with a hint of self-consciousness at his lack of a response. Joel swallows, and drags his eyes away from his present and to your face.

"Thank you," he says quietly, unsure of how to voice the thoughts rushing through his head, "I– thank you.

"Yeah," you say gently, "'course."

You accept his gratitude, understand what he means by it. You don't make a fuss with your un-swirly cupcake and single candle and no singing. All of a sudden, Joel feels his eyes prick and burn, and he rubs them quickly, wipes away the wetness. You touch his shoulder, make him look at you, and he clenches his jaw in embarrassment.

"Sorry," he mutters, "you just...know me so well."

There it is, your sunshine-smile, and you press a kiss to his naked chest, as high as you can reach.

"Sixty isn't that old, Joel. Don't even think about using it as an excuse to stop chopping firewood."

He chuckles and cups your face in one of his massive palms.

"No ma'am."

[mosylufanfic]

The Rebellion and Infighting

I have so much to scream about in this first set of three episodes, but the one I want to yell about the most is the theme of destructive infighting that grinds everything to a halt.

It was a more background theme last season, because Cassian was still making his way toward Rebellion. But this time it came out front and center in all four storylines.

In the wedding on Chandrila, everyone was at odds with each other. Nobody could agree on what to do or how to support each other (or who should be supporting who). They sniped and sneered and took passive-aggressive swipes at each other, both personal and Rebellion-related. The one that most desperately broke my heart was Mon's conversation with Leida, where she tried to offer her a way out ("what I wish my mother had said.") And Leida slaps the offer away like a toddler slapping away a spoonful of peas, continuing the mini-theme of mothers and daughters not understanding each other.

On Mina Rau, they did a little better, but not much. What seemed like a lovely little agricultural community fell apart for the Ferrix contingent because someone who seemed to be an ally turned on them to save himself. Plus Beela's mom didn't approve of Wilmon ("a toolie") and fueled Beela and Wilmon's little Romeo and Juliet storyline and making him late for getting the hell out of there.

And of course, there was the Empire, coming around and exercising control over where they went and if they were allowed to be here. The wording in this segment was just *chef's kiss* so specific. They worried about visas and getting caught without them. The Imperial called them "illegal" and "undocumented," a speech that could just as easily be heard from the United States White House today. And then heavily implying (in a nauseating scene that just built and built and built) that Bix could save herself by trading her body. (Buy your right to exist by being useful to the overlords.) And then when she refused, made it clear he was going to take it anyway.

It was most obvious in Cassian getting held up in the jungle by the rebel group, who were so busy squabbling with each other and shooting anything that moved that they didn't even notice a) Cassian manipulating them and b) the giant monsters that leapt out and ate them. Blunt? Oh yes. Obvious? Yepper. Meaningless? Not in the least.

Interestingly, the one storyline that took this theme of infighting and flipped it around to show what it means to work together was Dedra's. Not the Ghorman part of it, although that was riveting. (And the tourist film that Krennic showed was hysterically funny in its WTFery.). But shockingly, it's the dinner with Syril's toxic mom, with Dedra watching Eedy gleefully tear her son down. Then when Syril has to leave the room, Dedra wastes no time in laying down the law that unless Eedy falls the fuck in line, Syril will no longer be part of his mother's life. I hated everyone in that scene as a person, but I admit I cheered.

To return to Cassian's storyline, the reveal at the end of the second episode that it was all taking place on Yavin made me hoot and holler and laugh like a loon. But it also points to something this set of episodes has been laying out in giant flashing neon letters.

The Rebellion is a baby. It's a mess. It's a bunch of people all more concerned with fighting amongst themselves about who's more right and morally pure then actually doing anything real against the Empire. Even Cassian's theft of the TIE fighter was a total mess. He got bad intel and bad training and mostly did a hilaribad job of flying that thing.

But one day, the Rebellion is going to destroy the Death Star. And they're going to do it from this rainy, smelly, monster-filled jungle where a bunch of idiots played Rock Paper Scissors to figure out who got to be the boss. That is going to be the scene of the Rebellion's big triumph.

If they can get their fucking act together.

[thevoidstaredback]

Part 3

Danny realized, just as dawn was lighting up the world around him, that he knew almost nothing about the world outside of the USA. Even Canada and Mexico were barely footnotes outside of a chapter or two throughout all of his schooling! So, he landed just as a city came into view, let himself warmup with the release of his ghostly transformation, and pulled out his phone to figure out where the hell he was.

With barely any reception, Danny found himself to be just outside Monterrey, Mexico.

"Monterrey, Mexico, the capitol city of Nuevo León, boasts a sprawling business and industrial center. Spanning 125.3 square miles (324.8 squared kilometers), the city is home to ~5,341,177 people. The city is just over 428 years old, having been founded in the 16th century. Notable places to visit, such as Palacio del Obispado (1787-88), Museo de Arte Contemporáneo (2001), Faro de Comercio (1984) are recommended visits for people new to the city."

Sometimes Google was useful.

It was early morning, but the streets were already coming to life with music and voices. Suddenly, the tiny little world Danny'd been trapped in his whole life seemed so dim.

Everything was more beautiful than he'd ever noticed before. Brighter, more colorful, more musical.

Was this what Dani saw every time she left Amity? Was this how she always saw the world? He could see the appeal.

The brand new sights and smells and sounds overwhelmed him as the sun rose higher in the sky, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. It was almost the same kind of overwhelming feeling he got when he thought about space; good and begging for him to feed it.

He walked on, passing hundreds of people all speaking a language he didn't know-

Ah. He'd better pick up on it fast. It'd be rude to demand they speak his language in their home, right?

He pulled out his phone and took a quick selfie to send to Jazz, unable to stop his grin.

"It's so colorful," he told her, "I can see why Dani likes it so much out here."

She didn't respond, but he didn't expect her to. Not for a while, at least.

He texted Dani next. The same picture, though all he said was "Monterrey, Mexico."

Dani answered before he could even put his phone back in his bag. She, too, had send a selfie captioned, "Cobán, Guatemala, bitch!"

He laughed.

There was a chuckle behind him. "Un turista, ¿no?"

He turned around, suddenly re-kicking himself for not taking Spanish in school. Putting on his most apologetic expression, he said, "I'm sorry, I don't-"

The person laughed, wiping a fake tear from their eye. "Don't worry about it," they said in heavily accented English, "You're a long way from home."

He nodded. "A bit, yeah."

"You're not from a big city, are you?" It wasn't a question.

"How'd you know?"

"Stopping in the middle of the street is a good way to get jumped in any city, mi amigo." Danny shifted into a defensive stance, wary of the stranger. They laughed again. "Don't worry about me, I won't hurt you." He didn't believe them. they stuck their hand out. "Me llamo Alejandro."

He relaxed minutely. "Danny."

"Short for Daniel?"

"Just Danny."

They backed up some, their hands up. "I get it, man. What brings you to mi hermosa ciudad?"

"My reasons are my own."

"A fugitivo, got it."

"I'm not-"

"Relax! I'm not gonna turn you in. That's too much work. Besides, I know lots 'a guys like you. Not many stay in the city, but a lot of 'em start out here."

"Really?"

"More than you'd think."

Danny hummed. Then, he had an idea. "Could you teach me Spanish?"

Alejandro raised an eyebrow. "What happened to not trusting me?"

He blushed just a little and looked away, "Well, I don't want to not be able to understand anyone while I'm here, and you seem pretty friendly."

Alejandro shook their head with a smirk. "Way too trusting. Sure, I'll teach you, come on."

Danny followed after them, weaving between people and not running into a single person. Alejandro was all skill while Danny used a bit of intangibility.

Instead of taking him somewhere they could teach and learn in peace, as Danny had expected, Alejandro lead him through the city, giving a detailed tour of everything in the way only a local who loved their city more than anything could do. They knew every part of the city, every person seemed to know them, though they didn't so much as exchange a wave. A few kids stopped them and they played basketball in a park for a while before moving on.

Eventually, the day had to come to an end. As the sun was setting over the mountains, Alejandro lead Danny to a group of houses just on the playground, a bit more rundown with use.

"It's refreshing to see someone so full of childlike wonder when I show them mi hogar for the first time," they said, "Don't ever lose that, okay? Don't let anyone ever take that away from you, okay?"

There was a desperation in their tone, hidden, but loud enough to speak volumes of something that Danny wasn't privileged to know about. "Okay."

They sighed like something heavy had been lifted off their shoulders. "Good, good." They straightened up. "Now, for your Spanish lesson. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be speaking like it's your first language!"

The gleam in their eye reminded Danny of Sam when she was gearing up to explain the current activist page she was deep-diving; of Tucker when he was explaining the newest upgrade to his PDA; of Jazz when she was psychoanalyzing everyone in sight. It made him homesick.

He promised to have the language perfected before he left this city.

Part 5

Translation 1 - Spanish: A tourist, aye? Translation 2 - Spanish: my friend. Translation 3 - Spanish: My name's Alejandro Translation 4 - Spanish: my beautiful city? Translation 5 - Spanish: runaway, Translation 6 - Spanish: my home

[bettelaboure]

I was watching a series last night and I had a thought for a request: Seung-hyun draws/paints his lady friend… naked. Could you please make it fluffy and spicy? 😁🫶 I let you work out the details, as I trust and love your writing process 🥺❤️

⊹ Under his gaze⊹ | Choi Seung-Hyun

⊹ Pairing: Choi Seung-Hyun x Reader

⊹ Warnings: mature content, emotional intensity, explicit themes

⊹ Summary: In a cozy, dimly lit studio in Seoul, Seung-hyun, invites you, his roommate, into a moment of deep intimacy. After a long, exhausting day, you arrive home to find him waiting with dinner and wine. Over dinner, he asks if he can sketch you in the nude.

⊹ Authors note: i hope you like it, love <3

⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹ ⊹

You barely push open the door before the soft flicker of candlelight catches your eye, the comforting scent of dinner wafting through the air. It’s been a long, grueling day — meetings, deadlines, the endless hum of your busy life. You expected silence when you walked in, but instead, you find him waiting for you, just like always.

Seung-hyun stands by the kitchen counter with a glass of wine in his hand, a gentle smile on his lips. His hair is a little tousled, as if he’s been running his hands through it while he waits, and his eyes are that familiar shade of deep warmth, like he’s been thinking of nothing but you since you left this morning.

“Long day?” he asks, his voice smooth like silk, the hint of a tease underlining it. You can hear the little smile in his words as he watches you shed your coat, the weight of the day settling into your shoulders.

You nod, pulling off your shoes with a tired sigh. “You could say that. Didn’t think I’d be walking into a romantic dinner tonight.”

He chuckles, setting his wine glass down and stepping closer to you, his hand reaching to gently touch your shoulder. “I figured you could use a little comfort. You know I’m always here, ready to take care of you.”

You don’t even need to think about it before you lean in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek, the exhaustion of the day melting away just from his presence. His scent — a mix of his cologne and that warm, calming air of the apartment — wraps around you like a blanket. The kind of comfort you crave after a long day.

“Dinner’s on the table,” he says, voice low and inviting. “But… I had another idea.”

You raise an eyebrow, finally turning to face him completely, your curiosity piqued. “What kind of idea?”

Seung-hyun’s smile widens as he gestures toward the table, where a set of dishes is arranged just so, the steam still rising off the food. But it’s not the meal that catches your attention right now. It’s the way his gaze moves from your face to your body, as if he’s memorizing every inch of you, like he can’t help but watch you.

As you sit down, he joins you, the playful banter between the two of you filling the air. You dig into the meal, savoring the flavors, and for a while, the conversation flows easily. It’s familiar. Comfortable. Like it always is when it’s just the two of you.

But tonight, there’s something different. Something electric humming beneath your usual back-and-forth.

“Seung-hyun,” you tease, leaning back in your chair, looking at him through half-lidded eyes, “you really went all out for dinner tonight. What’s the catch?”

He sets down his fork and leans forward slightly, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Catch? What, you think I have some hidden agenda?”

You cross your arms playfully. “Well, you did make dinner. The wine. The candles. A little too romantic, don’t you think?”

His lips curl into that familiar crooked smile — the one that tells you he’s thinking about something far more delicious than dinner. “I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend,” he says innocently, before raising an eyebrow. “But I do have an idea. Something else, maybe.”

You narrow your eyes suspiciously. “What’s that?”

There’s a moment of silence as he looks at you intently, the playful edge of his smile softening into something more sincere. He sets his wine glass down and leans in a little, almost as if he’s testing the waters. “I want to draw you.”

Your fork freezes midway to your mouth, and you blink at him, unsure if you heard him right. “What?”

“I want to draw you,” he repeats, his voice quiet but firm, like it’s a request he’s been building up to. “Naked. I’ve been sketching a lot lately, and… I can’t think of a better subject than you.”

The words hang in the air between you. The shock of the request isn’t lost on you, but you can’t deny the way your heart races, the way a little shiver runs down your spine. He’s always been bold, always daring you to step out of your comfort zone. But this feels different. It’s not about the art, or the request — it’s about the way he’s looking at you. There’s a hunger there, not just for your body, but for all of you.

You swallow hard, trying to steady your nerves. “I don’t know, Seung-hyun…” you say, your voice a little hesitant. “It’s not exactly something I’d… agree to right away.”

He nods slowly, understanding in his eyes. “I get it. It’s not an easy thing to ask. But you’re so damn beautiful, so unique. I just want to capture you, the way I see you. Not how the world sees you.”

His words sink into your chest like a weight, but it’s not uncomfortable. It’s warm, almost like the closeness between you two is suddenly amplified. You feel like he’s peeling back the layers of you, making you vulnerable in ways that you didn’t know you were ready for.

“I know it’s a lot to ask,” he continues, his voice soft now, as though he’s trying to reassure you. “But you’re more than just… you know, your clothes, your body. You’re more than just what you see in the mirror. I want to see you — in your rawest form.”

His words strike a chord in you, and you can’t help but meet his gaze fully. There’s something in the way he’s looking at you, something more than desire. There’s reverence, even adoration, in his eyes.

You pause for a long moment, your mind still racing. His earnestness lingers, and you find yourself giving in. Maybe you’re tired, maybe you’re intrigued, but something about the way he’s asking feels so genuine that you find yourself nodding.

“Okay,” you murmur, your voice quieter now. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

Seung-hyun’s eyes light up, and before you can react, he’s standing, reaching for your hand with a tenderness that makes your heart flutter. “You’re incredible,” he says, his voice thick with admiration. “I promise, I won’t make it awkward. Just trust me, alright?”

You nod again, your stomach fluttering as he gently leads you away from the table and toward the hallway. The studio is at the end of the apartment, tucked away in the corner where Seung-hyun spends most of his time with his sketches and canvases.

The moment you step into the studio, the atmosphere shifts. The dim lighting, the rich tones of the red couch Seung-hyun picked up from the museum — everything about this space feels like it was made for moments like these. You’ve seen him sketch in here before, his hands moving effortlessly over the page, lost in his own world. But tonight? Tonight, it’s different.

Seung-hyun turns to face you, his eyes lingering on you as you slowly undress. The clothes you’ve been wearing all day — the business suit, the heels — are shedding away, one piece at a time, until you’re standing before him in nothing but the soft vulnerability of your skin. Every movement you make is slow, deliberate, and you can feel his gaze following every inch of you as if you’re a masterpiece he can’t stop admiring.

“God, you’re perfect,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper, but the weight of it presses against your chest, making your heart race. His words send a tremor through you, igniting a fire that has been simmering under the surface.

He steps closer to you, his hands reaching for your shoulders, and for a moment, you freeze, waiting for the next move. His touch is warm, tender, and it sends a shiver down your spine. He doesn’t say anything else at first; instead, he lets his fingers gently trace the curve of your collarbone, the soft dips and rises of your body, like he’s committing every inch of you to memory.

“You’re even more beautiful in this light,” he murmurs, his voice thick with admiration.

A soft laugh escapes your lips, a little shaky but filled with affection. “Is that so?”

He smirks, eyes flicking to yours with a playful glint. “You doubt me?”

“No,” you reply with a smile, your voice low, the words almost a challenge. “I’m just not used to hearing it.”

His smile fades slightly, his expression turning serious, as if the weight of the moment has settled on him. He places a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a second longer than usual. “I mean it,” he says, his tone full of sincerity. “You’re incredible. Every part of you.”

You swallow hard, feeling the depth of his words. It’s not just about the way he sees your body; it’s about the way he sees you, the whole of you. And somehow, that makes this all the more intimate. Vulnerability has never felt so... alluring.

He pulls back, his hands leaving your shoulders, and gestures toward the red couch. “Sit here. Just like this.”

You nod, taking a deep breath as you move toward the couch. It’s a work of art in itself, a stunning piece that stands out in the otherwise simple room. The soft fabric of the couch feels warm against your bare skin as you settle into the plush cushions. The way Seung-hyun’s eyes lock onto you as you do is almost too much, a silent promise hanging in the air between you.

“Are you comfortable?” he asks, his voice gentle, but there’s an edge to it now — the unmistakable tension of desire lurking beneath the surface.

You nod again, your body beginning to relax under the weight of his gaze. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

He steps back, taking a moment to set up his sketchpad, the sound of the pencil scratching against the paper filling the room. But his gaze is still on you, and you can feel the heat of it even as he looks down at his work. He’s focused, but the way his eyes dart back to you — hungry, eager, as if he’s seeing something in you that you’re just now discovering about yourself — sends a rush of heat to your cheeks.

The silence stretches between you, but it’s not awkward. It’s charged. Every breath you take feels amplified, every movement you make a deliberate act of seduction. You want to shift, to move in a way that’ll make his pencil falter, make him lose focus — but instead, you stay still, letting him sketch.

You know he’s trying to capture your essence, and somehow, that thought makes you feel even more exposed. But it’s not in a bad way. It’s exhilarating, like you’re laying yourself bare in front of him in ways that go beyond the physical.

His pencil stops moving for a moment, and you glance up at him, finding his eyes fixed on you once again. He looks almost lost in the moment, his jaw slightly clenched, his breath coming a little more quickly than usual.

“You’re so goddamn beautiful,” he whispers, the words almost more of a confession than a compliment.

A shiver runs through you at the raw intensity in his voice. You open your mouth to reply, but before you can get the words out, he throws the sketchpad to the side with a sharp movement. The sound of it hitting the floor echoes in the quiet room. You blink, surprised by the sudden change.

Without a word, he steps forward, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer. His lips crash onto yours in an urgent kiss, all pent-up desire spilling out in the space between you. It’s not slow, not measured, but a wild, urgent need that you can feel in every touch. His hands roam over your body, caressing the curves of your back, your sides, pulling you closer to him until you’re pressed against his chest.

His kiss deepens, more insistent now, and you can’t help but respond. You feel the tension from earlier explode between you, the spark that’s been building ever since he made that innocent request to draw you. It’s not about art anymore. It’s not about being seen or exposed. It’s about the hunger between you two — the unspoken desire that’s always simmered just under the surface.

You let yourself melt into him, your hands sliding up to tangle in his hair, tugging him closer as he pulls you down onto the red couch. His body moves over yours, urgent and desperate, as if he’s been holding back for far too long.

“Seung-hyun…” you murmur against his lips, breathless. “I want you.”

He groans at the sound of your voice, his hands already working to pull you even closer, the heat of his body searing through you.

And just like that, the lines between love, desire, and passion blur. The world outside the studio fades away, leaving just the two of you. And in this moment, nothing matters but him, you, and the connection that burns brighter than any sketch could ever capture.

The moment Seung-hyun’s lips return to yours, everything else in the room fades away. It’s as though the two of you are suspended in time, existing only in the space between your bodies, your hearts, your shared breath. The tension that’s built up all evening surges between you both, palpable and electric.

You can feel his warmth seeping into you, the weight of his body pressing down in the most comforting, overwhelming way. His hands, now more confident, roam slowly over your skin, exploring every curve and every inch like he’s uncovering a secret. His touch is gentle, at first, as though he’s savoring the feeling of being close to you, of having you entirely in his space. And you, you let him have this moment, let him take you in completely.

His fingertips graze the sensitive skin of your inner thigh, the sensation so light it’s almost maddening. Your breath catches in your throat, and you instinctively shift closer, wanting more of his touch, the heat of his skin against yours. You feel him smile against your lips as if he’s memorizing the way you respond to him. The moment is intimate, almost sacred, and yet there’s a simmering hunger there, an unspoken need that’s impossible to ignore.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers between soft, searching kisses. His voice is rough, thick with the weight of his desire. “I want to remember every inch of you.”

You shiver at the sound of his voice, the rawness of his words, the heat of his breath mingling with yours. There’s something about the way he speaks, the reverence in his tone, that makes you feel both vulnerable and empowered. It’s not just the physical attraction — it’s the way he sees you, all of you. Not just your body, but your soul, the way he’s always known exactly how to touch you, to make you feel wanted, cherished.

You’re lost in the moment, caught in the rhythm of his movements, when you feel his lips trail down your neck, his hands following their own path. You can feel every movement of his fingertips on your skin, the heat building in the space between you both.

He kisses your collarbone, each soft press of his lips sending ripples through your chest. His breath quickens as his hands slide down your body, following the line of your waist, your hips, lingering there for a heartbeat longer than necessary. It makes you ache for him, the slow, deliberate way he touches you, as if he’s in no rush to get to the end. He’s savoring this — savoring you.

You can feel your heart pounding in your chest, the rhythm of it echoing in your ears. Your body instinctively arches into his touch, desperate for more, needing him to keep going, to fill the space between you completely. The longing is undeniable.

“Seung-hyun…” you breathe, your voice barely more than a whisper, but the weight of it hangs in the air. He pauses, pulling back just enough to look at you, his eyes darkened with desire, his lips swollen from your kisses.

“You’re not backing out now, are you?” he teases gently, his lips curling into that playful smile you love so much. But even in his teasing, there’s something so intense in his gaze that it leaves you breathless. His eyes flicker to your lips, then lower to the curve of your body.

You shake your head, your heart racing. “No. I’m not.”

He doesn’t waste a moment. His hands move with purpose, slipping down your body, a delicate touch that ignites every nerve. His fingertips graze the soft skin of your inner thighs, and you can’t help the small gasp that escapes you, the shudder that runs through you.

“Good,” he murmurs, his voice rougher now, more urgent. “I need to feel you.”

You’re trembling with anticipation, your skin burning where he touches you. Every inch of his body feels like it’s magnetized to yours, drawing you closer, filling you with warmth and desire. His hand moves with deliberate slowness, and it takes everything in you not to beg him for more. Every touch is like a spark, lighting up your skin, sending shocks of pleasure straight to your core.

You reach for him, your hands tracing the hard lines of his chest, his shoulders, as if reminding yourself that he’s real, that this moment is real. The more you touch him, the more you feel like you’re sinking into him, becoming a part of him. The air between you is thick with need, but there’s a tenderness in his touch, a softness in the way he looks at you, as if he’s not just consumed with desire — he’s consumed with you.

He lowers his head to kiss you again, the kiss slow and deep, tasting you like he’s trying to memorize the feeling of your lips on his. It’s a kiss that speaks of something far deeper than just passion. It’s a kiss that holds everything: longing, love, connection.

Your hands slide lower, tugging at the waistband of his pants, your fingers brushing against the heated skin underneath. He inhales sharply at the touch, his body jerking slightly as you slip them down, revealing more of him. It’s the first time you’ve really been this close, and the intimacy of it hits you like a wave. It’s not just about sex; it’s about the way you feel connected, in every sense.

The sound of your breaths mingles in the air, harsh and quick, like your bodies can’t keep up with the intensity of the emotions flooding through you both. The taste of his lips, the feel of his hands on your skin, the way your body reacts to his touch — it’s all consuming, overwhelming in the best possible way.

Seung-hyun pauses for a moment, his eyes meeting yours, and you can see the raw emotion in them. This isn’t just a physical connection anymore. This is everything. “Are you sure?” he asks, his voice thick with desire, but the concern is still there. He’s waiting for the nod, the confirmation, before he moves any further.

And you give it to him — you give him your trust, your vulnerability, all of yourself.

“Yes, Seung-hyun,” you whisper, your voice a little shaky, but steady enough to let him know you’re here. “I’m sure.”

His eyes soften as he leans in to kiss you again, more deeply this time, and you feel it in every inch of your body. He moves over you with a gentleness that contrasts with the intensity of the moment, his body pressing against yours with a need that matches yours.

Taglist: @redhoodedtoad @mirahyun @sherrayyyyy @sherxoo @dilfismz @breakmeoff @janie-osuih @forevervibezzzz1 @kuinnoa @juliskopf @maskedcrawford @szonyix6277@ldydeath

[timeslipcamp]

so this guy right here is what inspired the flower meanings post in the first place, and i figured, "why not go ahead and find the meanings of his nicknames?" yes, chimi, start another post while you still have eight other ones to work on

huuuuge shoutout to @hydrologistshateher for getting a list for me, you saved 19 years of my life

anyways here's the meanings behind the nicknames towa gives people

towa doesn't seem to give a nickname to everyone, which i do think is interesting, especially because haru doesn't have one. why doesn't haru have one? did he meet him as haru and decided everyone else would have nicknames after? how did they meet? where did towa come from???

but i digress. that'll be in my towa theory post later

so let's kick it off with our super tragic girlie!

MC - Dandelion

this one is sooo cute. the first time he called us this i squealed. i love towa dude

dandelions are for the most part a symbol of hope and resilience. i saw another place say they represented strength and springtime. you know what else dandelions represent??? transformation :)

there's an old belief that dandelion seeds will carry thoughts to your loved ones for you, and that's why people make wishes on them.

Zenji - Iris

resisting the urge to sing the goo goo dolls song again you're welcome

irises are one of the ones that their meaning changes depending on the color, so we're gonna go with purple because zenji is purple

purple irises are typically associated with royalty because of how many rulers used them across the ages, starting all the way back when ancient syria was conquered in like, 1300 somethin bce. they also symbolize wisdom and courage, and also admiration and faith. in victorian flower language, you sent these to friends you admired and respected

their name comes from the greek goddess iris, who was a messenger of zeus and hera, a rainbow, and a protector of women. zenji is a protector of women tyvm!! there's also a couple accounts of irises being planted on graves so that iris would show up and help guide the women to heaven.

i do think it's funny that iris is the personal messenger of hera and we currently own hera's snakes. oh shit does that make jin zeus? would taiga or ed be hades? no that's an insane theory, i can't make a post about that

and i don't want the world to see me--

Edward - Rafflesia

world's stinkiest flower. my local zoo has a fake one you can press a button and smell one. shit STANKS let me tell you. funny as hell they have ed "rotting" in bed all the time with this

also called corpse flower or stinking corpse lily, this flower not only has the world's largest individual flower, but it is also a parasite! jesus some of these can weigh 20 pounds. anyways they use other plants stems and grow out of their vines to flower.

these ones dont actually have an associated meaning other than a couple proposed ones from modern times lmao they're just big and parasitic

and stinkyyyyyyy

Kaito - Coriander

i was like why tf is he an herb and then i remembered it flowered too

this one's meaning is fucking killing me. okay so first of all, the greeks named it after koris, the bed bug, because of the smell. and THEN. its seeds have been used since ancient times as an aphrodisiac.

so its meanings are lust 😭 (and health, and hidden merit too but.) this is so funny. coriander likes to talk about love. towa you dog

(it's definitely for the hidden merit but i'm too busy laughing about lust)

Ren - Wolfsbane

the amount of times i've accidentally typed lyca because of 'wolf' is absurd. anyways

so first of all, wolfsbane gets its name because it was believed it could repel werewolves lmao. more practically, ancient shepherds would use the poisonous plants to coat their arrows. this would help them keep predators away from their flocks.

interesting anecdote if you think of haru as a shepherd. what's ren repelling?

in flower language, there's a variety of meanings, especially if you're differing between monkshood, aconite, or wolfsbane, which are all part of the same family. in victorian language, it was said to represent an avoidance of humans, and a few other places have it listed as symbolizing caution, death, and magic. it seems like the lighter colored ones lean towards caution while the darker hues are for death.

it looks like it's also associated with hecate and cerberus in greek mythology, but i'm having trouble finding reliable sources for that one.

and there we have it! i'll definitely add on to this post as we see more nicknames come out, and if someone catches another one, let me know!

there's turning out to be a lot more greek mythology associates than i was expecting, so guess who's got two thumbs and is probably going to finally put their humanities degree to good use

asks and dms always open!

[mischiefmaker615]

A Draw

Summary: You and Loki tend to make a great team where it's almost casual in a dangerous situation. Note: Figured I'd throw in some humorous, light hearted fluff amongst my dark shit Lol

You quickly ducked just as a bottle came crashing against the wall just where your head had been at. Your thumb swiped your cheek and you tasted the sweet flavor of vodka before you quickly swung that same hand up to hit the thrower right up in the jaw.

‘’I thought you were supposed to be watching my back-‘’ you scolded Loki over your shoulder while you kicked the man attacking you in the groin.

‘’I’m a little busy at the moment-‘’ Loki grunted and reached over his shoulder, grabbing a handful of the man’s shirt and yanked him off his back, tossing him aside while two more ran at him.

‘’honestly this is probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to feeling like I’m in a Western’’ you laughed and dodged another fist before meeting your own in the ribs.

‘’a what?” Loki raised a brow and took both Hydra agents by their hair and wacked then against each other, making them crumble to the floor.

‘’easy- we don’t kill, remember?” You hissed, relaxing a little to see they were still moving before you were grabbed from behind, your own agent you were fighting having wrapped his arms around you to pin your arms at your sides. ‘’anyway, a Western, like those movies I showed you with the guns and the boots,’’ you explained and jumped enough to press your heels into the wall in front of you and push off, sending you and the man toppling backwards on the floor.

‘’that’s right, the ones where it upholds justice a lot better than your government.’’ Loki smirked and kicked another guy running at him in the stomach. Honestly this was all to easy for him, and he loved to show it.

‘’what’s that suppose to mean?” you glared, though you wouldn’t necessarily tell him he’s wrong while you rolled over the couch and got eyes on the man who followed suit.

‘’in your Midgardian Western films, if someone were to cause trouble- they were shot and life went on. Here, there are to many steps just to prove the mortal is guilty when the evidence is right there.’’ Loki explained and picked up the touch after you and the man had run fast it and used it to throw it at three others guys.

‘’true.. but only because of the risk of possibly being incorrect and you have an innocent person now being on trial- or something.. I don’t know! I don’t get to involved in stuff like that-‘’ you huffed and blocked blows that man tried to throw at you.

‘’as you are working for government officials.’’ Loki chuckled.

‘’so are you-‘’ you shot him a glare before you stumbled backwards when the man got a punch in right at your cheek.

‘’only to earn my freedom, and that is all.’’ Loki clarified, his voice deadly serious when he grabbed the man who had punched you and turned him around to repay the favor- damn near killing the guy while he fell to the floor.

‘’Loki..’’ you warned and reached over on the ground, feeling his pulse.

‘’he had stuck you darling, what else should I have done?” Loki asked though it didn’t necessarily feel like a question while you both looked towards the doors that kept getting floored by more agents. ‘’and by the way, Westerns took place in a bar, not a club.’’

‘’aww, you were paying attention.’’ You praised while you got up, honestly feeling like an old married couple who could bicker amongst any form of setting.

Loki and you have been assigned as partners for awhile- little did you both know that eventually, you’d be partners in a different way. it made you feel safer, knowing he had your back all the more when you both were completing missions, and you were sure he felt the same way. you even had talked about getting your own apartment and exploring other options once his ‘community service’ was up after having demolished all of New York. He was in no hurry though, as long as he was able to be with you, that’s all that mattered.

The feeling of cold metal snapped you out of your eternal monologue and you side eyed the gun being pressed to your temple. The man gripped your forearm harshly, threatening he’d shoot if you tried anything funny and especially if Loki took another step closer who had froze and stared death into his eyes.

‘’we should have killed them.’’ He said darkly while he eyed the man holding you hostage.

‘’I am not getting fired Loki.’’ You warned while he smirked, eyes still on the man.

‘’I hear community service isn’t too bad’’ he teased while the man pressed the gun more firmly against your head.

‘’shut up! Tell your men outside to stand down, no negotiations.’’ The man threatened while Loki quickly turned to hear men coming up the stairs- more Hydra.

Soon you’d both be outnumbered, Loki turning slowly back around with his hands up, palms facing you both in a surrender position.

‘’did you manage to get the people out first by the way?” you asked, Loki smirking while he chanced a glance at you while he faced the man.

‘’fire alarm evacuated people out already, making the bomb threat look like a casual kitchen incident.’’ Loki said a little to casually while the man jerked you once by the arm, making you wince a little.

‘’communicator, now!’’ he snarled, nodding towards the walkie talkie by Loki’s shoe to tell SHIELD to stand down.

‘’how much time do we have?” you asked, ignoring the man that literally had your life in his hands while Loki slowly bent down to pick up the communicator off the ground.

‘’mmm about.. 60 seconds, if the threat be true.’’ He said and you saw a flash of green in his eyes that seemed to match his smirk perfectly.

‘’that’s about enough time.’’ You nodded before suddenly stomping on the man’s foot, causing him to cry out and loosen his grip enough to where you could duck and Loki’s magic swept the room in a single blast, knocking down anything at his waist level, including furniture that landed on top of the already unconscious possibly dead men.

‘’darling,’’ he got your attention and tossed you the communicator before he moved forward towards the man who had you at gun point.

‘’Loki-‘’

‘’I know I know, no killing.’’ He sighed heavily and picked the man up by his neck, causing him to weakly groan in his in and out state of consciousness.

‘’no torture either.’’ You reminded while you went over to the window and carefully looked out, seeing one of SHIELD’s jets hovering just below.

Loki huffed and dropped him. ‘’fine. How much time do you have?”

‘’honestly, can you not invest in a watch?” you sighed and pressed the walkie talkie. ‘’30 seconds Nat-‘’

‘’because you normally tell me the answer anyway.’’ Loki chuckled, making you jump a little while he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, pressing a kiss to your neck.

‘’there will be plenty of time Loki- can you at least ensure your spell before you get distracted?” you remind gently, feeling your cheeks redden when he nips at your sensitive skin when he moved the collar of your uniform down a little.

‘’apparently we have 30 seconds..’’

‘’Loki.’’ You nudge him before he sighed and turned around to face the room, closing his eyes.

‘’fine, but I will finish what’s started when we get back.’’ He smirked, furrowing his brows while he concentrated before he raised his palms forward and a flash of green seemed to illuminate the entire room before seeming to dissolve and vanish in any opening the room gave- vents, doors, windows and even the sink.

There was a pause, nobody moving before the building seemed to shake, making your hand clutch the window frame as if there were on earthquake. Watching Loki, you made sure to stay silent and not move while he was in his state of concentration before he drew in a breath and dropped his arms limply to turn back to you.

‘’it is finished darling.’’ he smiled proudly.

‘’bomb handled and everyone protected?”

‘’everyone except-‘’

‘’everyone.’’

Loki sighed and side stepped to give you room to stand next to him while both of you faced the window. ‘’yes, everyone. But do be careful, the next time I find anyone putting you in harm’s way, I may not be able to contain myself.’’ He warned gently while he took your hand in his.

‘’that sounds like a fun time.’’ You teased, squeezing his hand before looking towards the window.

‘’promise.’’ He smirked before he ran ahead of you, you following close behind by his hand before he jumped through the window- shattering glass while you fell right behind him just as the door burst open with the sound of more guards entering.

‘’hang on-‘’ he warned, holding tight while you both landed on SHIELD’s jet under the window before you felt your skin begin to tingle.

Glancing down at yourself, you saw you were illuminated in the same green that shown whenever Loki used his magic. Looking back at him, he had the same illumination around him while he looked at the window in seriousness, sweat covering his brow a little from the use of his abilities.

‘’you’re doing a good job Loki..’’ you urged him on with a smile, seeing the corner of his mouth turn up while he sounded out of breath.

‘’much obliged my darling, anything to keep you safe.’’ He ushered, the both of you regaining balance while the jet began to lift straight up while the rest of the Hydra agents looked out the broken window and fired uselessly at you both who stayed protected with Loki’s force field.

‘’in a Western mood when we get back?” you smile while the jet raises high enough above the buildings now while you both move to the top hatch to get in.

‘’again, there was nothing Western about it.’’ Loki chuckled while he glanced down to watch SHIELD agents storm in while you jumped down and landed in the jet.

‘’there were guns,’’ you urged, taking a step back before he jumped down as well and closed the hatch with the last bit of energy he had before his eyes turned back to the normal, baby blues you loved so much.

‘’and?” he smirked.

You bit your lip and shifted a little to think while you looked up at him with a sigh. ‘’bad guys?”

‘’darling,’’ he chuckled, saving you from your failed case by wrapping his arms around your waist and pulled you closer. ‘’we can watch whatever you want if it is to make you happy..’’

‘’I think I’m going to be sick.’’ Natasha chimed in teasingly while she cast a glance over she shoulder from the pilot’s seat.

‘’drive better then’’ you teased before you looked up at Loki with a smile. ‘’how much time do we have before we get back?”

‘’like hell I’m telling you- don’t do anything in my jet.’’ She warned in a light hearted tone before Loki cupped your cheeks and pecked your lips.

‘’what magic can do, won’t let her know..’’ he whispered with a wink.

‘’you’ve used to much energy already, rest while we head home.’’ You shook your head and pushed against his chest to have him fall into a chair while you moved to the one next to him.

‘’well, it would seem you have plenty of energy..’’ he smirked, immediately taking your hand in his to begin moving it over to where he was.

‘’Loki..’’ you warned, keeping your voice down while casting a glance in Nat’s direction.

‘’come on darling, at least see if you’ll still be saying no after 30 seconds..’’

Note: one of the best Western movies ever!! PLEASE tell me you've seen it!

Tag List: @foxherder13 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @fire-in-her-veinz @nervouseden @kathren1sky-blog @eleniblue @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @queenofstarsign85 @slytherinqueen4life @soulpiercing @westwindrhapsody @lulubelle814

[stewpidcheescatarinabluu]

I want to be the only one she dreams of.

Synopsis: In a quiet apartment far from the stage lights, a tired idol seeks comfort in the one person who’s always been her home. Karina, adored by millions, skips the afterparty and escapes the limelight to curl up next to her best friend—a struggling writer whose life couldn’t be more different. But in this quiet moment, shoulder to shoulder, hearts brushing, unspoken feelings rise to the surface. Maybe friendship was never all it was meant to be. Maybe, just maybe, she’s not dreaming of stages anymore—maybe she’s dreaming of you.

Word Count: 1,108

Karina? Karina! Every head turns when she’s on stage. A star, through and through. Sold-out concerts, viral posts, and every brand she touches turns to gold. She’s magnetic—beautiful, poised, untouchable.

And you? Just an author, working from home. Some days wondering if you should chase a job or hold out for that one business deal. Still, you write because you love it. You stay in your little world—quiet, unnoticed.

But Karina always notices you.

She’s your best friend, and always has been. Despite her fame, she never forgets to bring you little things from every city—local snacks, rare merch, signed albums. Your shelves are filled with her face. Your home, a shrine only someone like you would understand.

Tonight, after her final encore, she didn’t linger on stage. No afterparty. No cameras. Just a quick change into oversized clothes, hoodie pulled low, cap and mask hiding the face everyone worshipped.

You were in the middle of finishing a piece—fingers tapping, back aching, staring at the blinking cursor like it owed you something—when your phone buzzed.

“hey im coming in an hour or two” Karina messaged from a different number.

You glanced at it, barely blinking. Normal. She always dropped by when she could. You shrugged, thumbed out a quick

“ok be safe.”

And got back to staring at your draft, still stuck on what made a plot good instead of just passable.

Two hours passed. You were still in the same spot. Same hoodie. Same blank doc. Different position.

The knock came soft, just three taps. You didn’t move right away, still half-leaning into your laptop, the glow of your screen casting long shadows across your living room. You already knew who it was.

When you opened the door, there she was—Karina. Hoodie zipped up, face mostly hidden beneath a cap, her posture loose and heavy with exhaustion. Still, she gave you that small tired smile, the kind that tugged at your chest more than it should.

“Yo,” you greeted casually, stepping aside. “Lemme guess. Just finished the concert?”

She nodded, her voice light but rough around the edges. “Yeah… did you watch?”

You smirked as you closed the door behind her. “Yeah, I caught the livestream. On your channel. You did well, as usual.”

Karina let out a breath, half a laugh, and tossed her bag down by the couch before falling onto it with a dramatic sigh. “I’m so tired.”

You followed her into the living room, laptop forgotten for now. On the coffee table sat an assortment of snacks—her favorites. The kind she always reached for when she crashed at your place after a long day. Drinks too, already chilled. You didn’t say anything, but her eyes landed on them the moment she sat up.

“Wait… you set this up?”

You played it off with a shrug, flopping onto the couch beside her. “I figured you’d be worn out. Three concerts in, what, a week and a half?”

She blinked at you for a second before grinning. “You never do this.”

“Guess I’m learning,” you mumbled.

Karina didn’t reply at first. Instead, she shifted, leaned a little closer, and without warning, rested her head gently on your shoulder. Like it was the most natural thing in the world.

And it was—kind of. She’d done this before. Dozens of times. When she was still a trainee. When she came back after long shoots. When she wanted to feel human again.

But this time… something felt different.

You froze for a split second. Her hair brushed your cheek, silky soft and warm, carrying that faint floral scent she always wore. Her skin was cool from the night air, but you could feel her warmth sinking into you the longer she stayed like that.

“Thanks,” she murmured, eyes closed now. “You always know what I need.”

Your heart tripped over itself, just for a beat.

“Yeah,” you whispered back, staring ahead so she wouldn’t see the way your ears were starting to turn red. “I got you.”

She let out a content sigh, pressing her head a little deeper into the crook of your neck. “Mmm… your hoodie smells nice. Just like you.”

You didn’t answer. You couldn’t. Not when her voice dipped so low. Not when your brain was screaming that this wasn’t just best friend territory anymore.

You risked a glance at her. Her lashes fluttered as she blinked slowly, lips parted just a little, skin glowing softly in the dim light of your apartment.

Beautiful. Effortlessly so. And she was here, pressed against you, while the rest of the world only got to watch her from afar.

You swallowed hard, heart beating louder than any concert crowd. Because you knew—no matter how casual she made it look, this meant something. Or maybe you just wanted it to mean something.

But for now, you didn’t move. You let her rest. Let yourself feel every inch of her warmth against yours.

And in the quiet, between your beating heart and her soft breathing, you thought:

I’m living everyone’s dream… but I want to be the only one she dreams of.

[claralance]

Everything I wanted

(Nagi Seishiro x reader, spoiler alert!)

Wc: 2k

Content: Nagi Seishiro x childhood friend! reader, angst, hurt/comfort, not really romantic, set after chapter 300, Reo mentions (a lot) (this is my coping mechanism)

Warning: none, not proofread, written in tears, kinda cringy, English is not my first language

Song: Everything I Wanted - Billie Eilish

“I had a dream

I got everything I wanted”

In the past, Nagi Seishiro was only after one thing, a lazy, cushy life—a life where he doesn't have to work, doesn't have to try, doesn't have to care. At that time, that was all he needed. There was no point in putting effort in anything, and he was more than fine with it.

So why? Why did the thought of having everything he wanted back then now felt so… dreadful?

—------------------------------

You’d known Nagi since you two were kids. Your families were close, and since his parents were always busy, they often left him under your mother’s care. That was how you two became friends.

Well… you befriended him, and he let it happen, to be specific.

It was more of a one-sided friendship, maybe it was because you two didn't have much in common, maybe it was just how he was, maybe he didn't really care. You never complained, even when you two barely talked after he moved to Tokyo for high school, even when he unknowingly started forgetting about you because he didn't find the will to keep replying to your texts or maintaining a connection with someone who was miles away.

You still didn't mind.

You accepted him like that—nonchalant, indolent towards everything and introverted to a fault. All those years before had told you he was always gonna be like that.

Until you saw him on the soccer field.

During the second year of high school, you moved to Tokyo as well because of your father's new job. Consequently, you transferred to Hakuho, and right on your first day, you saw him, for the first time in two years, playing soccer with a purple-haired boy. The two of them like a dynamic duo.

It was a sight that you’d never expected to see, not even in your wildest dreams. Your (childhood friend) Seishiro, actually doing something that wasn't lazing around or playing games. He still appeared to be quite lethargic, but the light in his eyes, the tiniest flash of enjoyment he had when they won and Reo called him a genius, was undeniable.

Everyday since that point on, you watched him play, keeping an eye on his new life, this new him, even after he joined Blue Lock, the U-20 match, during the NEL. You two still didn't talk much, but you kept watching him, finding joy and contentment in the way he got all fired up, finally figuring out something that he truly liked and tried hard for.

And you could almost see it, the day he becomes the best in the world, the day he and Reo share the World Cup in their hands.

If only reality was that sweet.

—------------------------------

It’d been more than a week since the day he came back from Blue Lock, but somehow it felt like yesterday.

You remembered the way his parents didn't even show up. They sent you a text, asked you to check up on their son, maybe encourage him a little, like a few words could make it all feel better. Then you remembered his face when he walked out of the building elevator, still as blank as ever, yet there was something different, like he was devoid of something.

“I lost,” he said, voice flat when he saw you, “I’m out… for good.”

Your stomach dropped.

“... going to bed,” he added, sounding unnervingly calm as he walked past the threshold of his apartment, closing the door behind.

Then he proceeded to ignore you for the next few days.

You kept showing up. He kept brushing you off. You looked worried. He looked fine. Hell, he sounded fine, not even a trace of emotion in his tone, he went through the motions everyday like he used to, but you knew better, you’d known him your whole life, he wasn't fine. Not at all.

“Sei… get up,” you insisted for the umpteenths time today, trying to get him out of bed.

Nagi’s apartment was dark and eerily quiet, giving off the vibes that either no one was home, or your friend was dead. But of course, he wasn't, he was just curled up on the couch, eyes glued to the phone, playing some game that he just found, once again ignoring your presence… and probably everything else, as you stood at the doorway.

“You gotta eat, I brought a lot,” you added, frowning at the sight of his unmoving figure. You wanted to punch him, or maybe tear your hair off, it wasn't a strange sight, but it made your heart clenched, knowing the reason behind it. You couldn't even blame him for being like this.

Truth be told, Nagi was still processing everything that happened. The last game, the goal he missed, the final rankings, Ego’s speech, Reo's tears, the things they said to each other before he left, the way their shared dream was now shattered. Every word, every touch, every look, especially the devastation on Reo's face when he walked through the losers gate, everything was engraved into his mind, replaying over and over again even though he’d tried to shove them away.

If he knew it all then, would he do it again?

Would he still agree to play soccer?

Would he still go to Blue Lock?

Would he still ask Reo for that combination?

Would he do it again?

He didn't understand why those thoughts kept bothering him, he had no regrets. He’d had the best time of his life at Blue Lock, he’d learned, he’d developed, he’d felt and become things that he never thought he could. He was well aware of his mistakes and the reason why he ended up locked off. Moreover, he could now go back to the life he once dreamed of, he didn't have to try so hard anymore…he should've been more than okay with this.

And yet, he didn't.

…

What a pain. Nagi didn't want to face it.

He didn't know how to face it.

As a result, instinctively, he shut down, avoiding his inner turmoil with the hope that if he spent enough time on his phone, if he went back to being socially unavailable, this uneasy feeling would go away eventually, he’d get used to the life he once had again, and those memories wouldn't irritate him anymore.

He left the “lazy genius” in Blue Lock, that was all to it. He didn't need anyone to dig into it.

He didn't need to dig into it.

Only if it was that simple.

Some time while you were preparing dinner in the kitchen, he fell asleep, and for the first time in forever, he had a dream.

A dream of him, living on with his life after quitting soccer. He found an easy job, working nine to five, going home, playing games, sleeping early, rinse and repeat. All the while watching Reo and his other friends in Blue Lock training hard, working together, competing against each other on the way to achieve their dreams… drifting even further and further away from him as he got stuck in an endless cycle of boredom and mediocrity.

Then everything turned into black.

“Damn it.”

Nagi jolted up, pillows falling off the couch, his breathing slightly ragged and his chest heaved.

He didn't like that dream, not at all.

It was a life that he once wanted, one where he didn't have to work hard, didn't have to train his ass off, didn't have to prove anything to anyone. It was everything he could ask for… yet it suddenly felt like a nightmare. It made his inside twist and turn uncomfortably.

“Hey, what's wrong?” You asked, rushing over from the kitchen, and your words ended up hanging in the air as your eyes met in awkward silence.

Like always, he refused to talk.

You couldn't read his thoughts, of course, but you could see it in his eyes, what he was trying to do, the facade that he kept up, the thoughts swirling in his head. He looked more vulnerable than ever before.

You’d known Nagi all his life, you’d seen him before and after, you’d seen how his dull life lightened up before it darkened again. You’d seen him changing into someone better, someone with dreams and goals, someone who actually lives his life instead of just existing for the sake of it.

It killed you seeing him like this, acting like he was fine without the one thing that he really worked hard for because dealing with negative emotions was a pain.

He was closing himself off again.

You were dying to do something.

So, instead of waiting for the answer you’d never have, you walked over, sat down and pulled him into a hug.

“... huh?”

His eyes widened a fraction.

“...what are you doing?” He asked, voice quiet, couldn't wrap his head about your sudden action.

“Comforting you, idiot. I can't stand you being like this,” you answered truthfully, not loosening your grip, making him look all confused.

“I know you think you're doing fine, acting like you’re done and through, but I also know you're still bothered as hell about leaving Blue Lock.”

A beat of silence, you only hugged him tighter.

“You just lost something important to you, Sei. It doesn't matter if you have no regrets or understand the reason behind. You don't have to cope with it by being unperturbed. You can cry, you can scream, you can throw a fit, anything… even if it's a hassle to face the pain, you can't hide away from it forever…it won't go away because you're not the same old person anymore.” you trailed off, feeling a shift in his body language at your words, it was little, but it wasn't unnoticeable.

“...I know how important soccer is, how important Reo is, how important your dream is to you…I understand the feeling of losing someone you care for deeply in your life. It's okay to admit that it hurts.”

Nagi stiffened, and it took him a moment to register what you just said into his brain.

“It's okay to admit that it hurts.”

Wasn't that such a hassle?

No words could describe what he felt when he saw Reo's crying, or when he found himself at the exit, or when right now he suddenly wished that he was still at Blue Lock instead. Maybe he felt numb, or maybe he wasn't familiar with the discomfort that overwhelmed him when he left.

He didn't want to talk about it.

“You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.” You spoke up again. “It takes time to process emotions…and I know this is really strange for you, but I really don't want to see you keep shoving your feelings away like this… It's painful for me as well.”

Your words hung in the air once again, and for a moment you felt a little suffocated, because there was a giant chance that he’d push you away and continue playing it off. You wouldn't even be surprised. Your childhood’d taught you that much.

However, this time, he didn't.

It caught you off guard, the way he slowly leaned into your embrace, his head dropping on your shoulder.

This was indeed a hassle, dealing with these emotions, but like you said, he wasn't the same nonchalant, lazy boy who didn't want to care about anything anymore. And running away won't change the fact that he no longer wanted a dull, boring life.

The silence dragged on. He still didn't say anything, of course, he didn't know exactly how to, but you could feel it. The way he let out a sigh and buried his face in the crook of your neck, his quiet admission to needing some comfort, the reluctant acceptance that he wasn't okay at all.

It felt better than he expected.

You felt better as well.

Not that either of you know what to do to actually fix the situation, but that was the problem for the near future. You two could figure out the next step later.

For now, in this moment, after that nightmare and the realization he just had, to Nagi Seishiro,

this was more than enough.

This was kind of poorly written on reader's part (?) I was trying to hard to go into his feelings and thoughts bc I'm still bawling my eyes out.

[ivyrosewater]

Here's a preview of all of my upcoming works! I'm doing my best to work on them but it's definitely a slow process! 🫶🫶

QH43 -- Can I Get Your Number?: When the Hughes Bowl rolls around, otherwise known as the Canucks vs. Devils game, you obviously have to come and support your boyfriend. The only problem is, no one knows you two are together, and all Quinn’s given you to help is his jersey.

JH86 -- Teach Me?: As Jack’s new girlfriend, all he wants to do is show you off. You’ve been on a few dates before, but your first real opportunity to present it to the public is at the family skate. But. the thing is, you don’t quite know how to skate even the slightest bit.

LH43 -- I Hate Horror Movies: On a cozy night in on one of Luke’s off days, you decide on a movie date night. You both decide to surprise each other with your movie choices, and you decide on a horror movie, not knowing how much Luke hates them.

SJ24 -- One Beautiful Mistake: You and Seth have been dating for over a year, everything going in the right direction, even moving in together already. But one day, you find out you’re pregnant, and you just don’t know how to tell him.

NH13 -- Under Wraps: Keeping a relationship hidden from the media is one thing. Hiding one from your nosy and protective brothers was even harder, especially one involving the younger two’s team captain, the one and only Nico Hischier.

CM8 -- Behind the Scenes: a Hockey Boyfriend: When you first start dating a hockey player, there’s much to learn. One of the most important is learning all about hockey, especially when your boyfriend is the one and only Cale Makar, and when you are completely lost when it comes to all things hockey.

WJ53 -- Home is Where the Heart Is: You and Wyatt have been together as long as he’s been playing in the NHL, having gotten together senior year of high school in Ontario. Long distance has been a struggle, to say the least, but you do your best to show up to a few games here and there with your busy college schedule. After a contract is signed to keep Wyatt on the Stars, you decide to surprise him by moving to Dallas too.

LD29 -- Take Me Into Your Loving Arms: Leon has always tended to be hard on himself, especially during losses. When his team makes it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals, only to lose it all in the end, he’s distraught. Thankfully, he has you waiting at home for him just a flight away, more than ready to comfort him through it all.

CB98 -- Meet Me in Chicago: Connor knew you were special from the day he met you, all the way back in middle school. He had the biggest crush on you for years and years, but he never had the courage to ask you out, missing out on his opportunity when hockey took over his life. When he got drafted by Chicago, the last thing he expected was for you to follow, but it turned out you also were going to college there. It was a sign, and now that he was in the big leagues, there was no way you could say no, right?

TZ11 -- Break the Ice: Trevor’s life has revolved around hockey for as long as he could remember. He’d been taught all his life that ice was meant to be used for hockey, not by dainty figure skaters. So what happens when a scheduling mishap makes the Ducks have to share the ice with you, an up and coming figure skater, for a week?

AS37 -- Good Luck Charm: Andrei has never believed in silly superstitions, finding them a waste of time when he had plenty of other things to worry about. That is, until you, his girlfriend of a few months, shows up unexpectedly to one of his home games, and he scores not once, not twice, but gets a hattie.

MR73 -- May Flowers: Matt, your long-time boyfriend knows your two favorite things like the back of his hand; spring and flowers. So, when his team is officially knocked out of the playoffs, it’s the perfect spring weather he needs to take you on a picnic date of your dreams in blossoming Central Park.  

LN4 -- Dumb Ways to Meet: Lando has always been a reckless and aggressive driver on the roads, everyone knew that. You, on the other hand, have been anything but, always managing to keep your cool even in the stupidity other drivers cause. The last thing you expected was to meet an F1 driver, and especially not in this situation; in a car crash.

CL16 -- Life In the Fast Lane: Charles often got frustrated with the engineers of Ferarri. Often times, the strategy didn’t make sense, and the races usually ended poorly because of it. When the new season rolls around, they have replaced his race engineer, bringing you in instead, a talented engineer that used to work for Mercedes. Things immediately start to look up, him ending up on the podium for the past few races, and all because of you. On top of it all, he can’t help but fall for you, loving to hear your voice guiding him to victory. Will he risk it all by getting with you, or will he let you drive by just as fast as the cars around him do?

MV1 -- Hey Jealousy: Max was a person that got upset easily, that much was obvious. So when he gets with you, one of the top mechanics for Ferarri, something is practically certain to go wrong. Everyone else knew you and Charles were only good friends, but in Max’s eyes it was anything but friendly, resulting in a jealous and grouchy Redbull racer.

OP81 -- All Fun and Games: You and Oscar loved to play video games together, as it was something simple you two could bond over. The only thing that you haven’t played before is his racing simulator. When you bring it up that you want to try, Oscar is only the slightest bit hesitant, but he does let you try one round on it. It certainly caught him off guard though when you ended up beating his best time on the circuit.

LH44 -- No Risk, No Reward: Lewis was always a calm and collected driver, making calculated decisions and overtakes. So, when he gets crashed into during qualifying and spins out into the barriers, you can’t help but immediately panic and worry about him the entire time until you know he’s okay.

CS55 -- How Do You Say It?: Carlos has always loved to call you countless nicknames and give you sweet messages in Spanish. The thing is, you don’t always understand them. So, you decided to take matters into your own hands and learn Spanish on your own, but it’s not nearly as good as being taught by your Spanish boyfriend.

The Grid -- The Art of Being Spoiled: the times your sugar daddy boyfriends have tried (and succeeded) in spoiling you.

[blooddrinkingbartender]

"Well, that's usually a good leader should be," Bill said, "Not I really get the chance to do it much to be honest. Those sorts of days are far behind me. So I'm just content working at places like a bar now. But I will admit, I like getting my mind and body engaged with projects when I'm not working."

After all, he might have just been a completely empty shell at this point if he hadn't done what he could to keep his body and brain occupied by learning new things and staying in the moments.

"That is true," Leofric agreed, "We all need a hobby. I do enjoy painting in my spare time for example."

He felt that should be safe enough to share. It was better than sharing that he worked at a hospital or a nightclub after all, and what he really might have been.

"Good point," Bill said, shrugging, "I'll see if I can convince myself to watch it a bit more often."

Not that he was really planning to, but he had to try and sound like he was taking Bishop's advice to heart.

"Those who can't handle a dog with patience and care have no business having one," Leofric only said, "I'm sure whoever owns this dog can handle it just fine, and perhaps they share a particularly special bond."

Bill nodded.

"Yeah, my boss likes having a variety of different people come on by, especially the musicians," Bill said, "I've considered asking the drummer of that aforementioned if he might consider coming up to drum cover requests sometime. Ah yes, I suppose it could be. Heck of a time trying to figure out just exactly how though."

Bill wasn't about to mention that the magician had some actual magic and practically go into full mind control with his abilities. That was something Bishop didn't need to know.

"Oh did you?" Bill raised an eyebrow, "Never struck me the type. You really some kind of mystery man, aren't you? You sure you're not some real life James Bond?"

"William, I know you're joking, but even if he was, he wouldn't be telling you that," Leofric said.

"I know, but it's a fun thing to joke about," Bill added, grinning, before he noted the empty glass, "You up for a fourth? You must have a good tolerance. You don't even seem a little tipsy."

As it turned out, even Bishop ended up telling the truth every once in a while.

"My intention is indeed to be their leader." Bishop replied, glad to finally receive some recognition, "In fact, I prefer doing hands-on work myself when my presence isn't required elsewhere."

He wasn't going to admit said work usually involved a lot of killing and unethical experiments. After all, he was trying to give the impression of being a diligent security guard.

"It may not be always pleasant, but it's important to keep up with the most recent events." Bishop said, motioning with his hand, "Especially for those like us working in fields that keep us up at odd hours."

With a bit of luck, they could even catch him on the news. Bishop listened to Leofric, before giving a slight shrug.

"Perhaps. I was mostly captivated by the dog's horns and claws." he explained, a hint of amusement in his expression, "Despite its small size, I can imagine it may be difficult to handle it if it gets too rowdy."

Some people would say Thea was a cute little helldog, but Bishop would rather fight Cerberus than admit to having even a shred of humanity left. There was no such thing as a heart in that muscular chest of his.

Extreme denial aside, Bishop paid attention to the list of performers Bill was providing. There admittedly wasn't much that could be useful to him, but he figured he should provide some kind of response.

"That's quite a wide array." He would pretend to know what an open night mic was, as it seemed like a man of this day and age should have known. "I suppose that kind of show would spark the imagination of many, even in this city. But even the most elaborate stage trick remains just that, doesn't it? It could have been anything from micro wires, to mirrors and so on."

He still felt like it wasn't a coincidence the attention had fallen on the hypnotist of all people, but he had to play along.

"I, uh...worked at a carnival when I was younger."

Yes, that was an acceptable reason to know so much about practical effects.

[giggly-squiggily]

Heeeeeey 👀

I’m popping in to say I’m not dead or gone; just been busy and inactive due to life and all its merriments. Adjustments are happening and I’m slowly but surely learning my new routine! I can’t say when I’ll officially be back online regularly cause right now I’m barely staying afloat, but when I’m back I’m gonna try and stay back! :3

In brighter news I can’t stop listening to the Wisdom Saga- Love In Paradise is one of my favorite songs ever (favorite of the album though is We’ll Be Fine- god the chills I get listening to it) and I hate how attractive Antonius’ voice is. He’s so evil but my GOD THAT VOICE- 😍😍😍😍😍 Perfection; utter perfection- all of it.

Slowly realizing I have a voice kink what who said that-

Brb gonna go listen to it for the next several months and cry over it cause it’s just so good! 😭😭😭🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 I hope y’all are doing alright! See you hopefully soon!

ALSO- I started watching Amphibia- I’m on season 2 about 3/4th’s in and Hop Pop is my favorite character (though they’re all very adorable)

I’m also watching Owl House so if y’all start seeing me reblog Hunter things know I’ve adopted him he is mine now

[coconut-cluster]

hello all I just wanted to pop in and say I am in fact writing chapter 5 of Crowns and Cutlasses, I didn’t just dip after posting the notes lol but I WON A FULBRIGHT so i have been busy and insane

[phagodyke]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[uchiha-gaeshi]

One of my old friends is now transmasc and I didn’t even know 😭

[webism]

jerking businessman!nanami off at his desk while he works because everything has been so monotonous and boring and you're just trying to give your coworker a little bit of reprieve from a hard day at work. he's been so short with you lately that you figured a little TLC might soothe his temper.

you're sitting beside him, pretending to go over his papers with him in case someone happens to peer in through his office door. they'd see him slightly hunched, head tilted downwards in what they assume to be reverent dedication to his work.

but really he's just trying not to drool all over his paperwork. his lips are parted, eyes already glossy with all of his pent-up needs. it's been so long since he's cum—he's just been so busy and masturbating has always been a ritual of sorts to him that requires a clear mind. so every touch from you feels electric and he can see the smile on your face in his peripheral vision.

he's a leaking mess. he has no clue how he's supposed to explain the drools of pre-cum that are smeared all over the fly of his pants where you've hooked him out of them. maybe he'll go home sick. god who is he kidding he never calls in sick even that one time his temperature was—

"kento, stop thinking."

he blinks, and glances to you. god you're so pretty, sitting innocently as if your manicured fingers arent squeezing around his cock. he wonders what you'd feel like in other senses: how warm your mouth is, how inviting you'd be if he bent you over his desk and fucked you stupid as retribution for pulling this stunt. he'd make you walk around for the rest of the day with his cum leaking out of you.

the imagery is too much. his hips stutter upwards out of his desk chair and he's opening his mouth to warn you of his climax when you suddenly lean forwards and take the tip of his cock into your mouth.

he thinks he could die. warm like he had imagined, you swirl your tongue over his tip and draw out the most intense orgasm that kento has ever had in his boring life, right there in his office. the irony isn't lost on him, but he's too busy revelling in the way you hollow your cheeks out and swallow every last drop of the cum he gives you to care.

once you've milked him for all he has, you pull back and stand up to straighten out your clothes. you still look perfect, presentable and as gorgeous as he thought you were when you walked in this morning—god the last thing he thought he'd get from you today was his load down your throat.

you lean in, press a kiss to his lips that tastes more like himself than he's ever known himself to taste, and then take a step back to look him up and down.

"you should clean yourself up," you smile. "you're a mess, mr nanami."

[simpjaes]

wife material.

Anonymous asked: Being arranged to jay in a marriage and hes distant at first but notices his new partner who has a nice plush ass, wide hips and plump tits. His brain goes mmm breeding material but youre just an innocent girl with a pornstar body?

WORDCOUNT: 1.1k

NOTE: tumblr wouldn't let me answer it as an ask :/ also, not proofread.

So, you're in an arranged marriage for more than one reason. Rather than being "innocent", you're just a total bimbo. Fr, everything you've ever wanted or needed has been handed to you on a silver platter. Your parents are super protective of you though, mostly out of fear that you'd be taken advantage of, right? right.

So, you've never had a boyfriend, no girlfriend, no friends [outside of the maids and nannies that you spend so much time with.] You were homeschooled, never expected to go to college either, because why work if you're already well taken care of and financially protected?

Your parents suggest an arranged marriage, mostly so they can choose and judge who you will be spending your life with. They don't trust you to go out into the world and find someone suitable, after all, so....why not make an arranged marriage work for the whole family? Jay is the first son of a rich C.E.O and is expected to take over the business sooner rather than later. He's polite, bordering too-stoic, but very much a good man in your parent's eyes. He appears to see the arrangement as a business deal rather than anything else, after all, he was raised much like you were except...he's a man. He has needs, and they are frequently met by using the lovely little black card. He's not looking for love anyway, the late nights to the VIP club lounges is really all he needs. Until he saw you. Until he fucking saw you. What he thought would be a great boost to business and a good little photo op, where you're married to him but both of you just do your own thing....turns into, well-

"Shit, are you a virgin?" Jay shushes you before you can answer. Your little whimper of "It hurts" ringing too loudly in his ears. Still, he feels the nod as he presses your face into the pillows with a hand at the back of your neck.

His eyes roll back in pleasure at your nod. Honestly, with a body like that? A virgin? He'd have figured you've fucked around by now. But you haven't, and that just might be the greatest thing he's heard all fucking day. So, he points his hips with intention now, penetrating deep. If at all because he can't fucking help it.

"Can't believe they're just giving you to me." You can't answer with the corner of the pillow in your mouth and all, but even if you could, you wouldn't know what to say to him. Marriage. Business. He'd support you, wait on you hand and foot? Yes. That's what you expected. Honestly, the idea of sex has been forbidden from you for so long that you half expected your father to keep that rule with Jay too, even after marriage. And here you are, meeting him briefly at his house just a week before the wedding. Your driver had dropped you off, the intention of the visit being to finalize all of the wedding details and put in any last opinions considering neither of you are planning it. You really didn't expect to find yourself face down on Jay's bed, where he ushered you the moment he saw you. Muttering something along the lines of "You're alone? Fucking finally." It's not like you entirely mind either, it's not like he didn't immediately make out with you all the way to his bedroom. It's not like you didn't make out with him right back, even if you were surprised. It's really just the fact that you were totally unprepared to have a cock that big shoved in you for the first time on a Monday afternoon. You've wondered for years what it was like to have sex, anyway, always fumbling around with your fingers and never quite feeling as good or as full as you do now. It's overwhelmingly hot, pleasurable, even. And the fact that Jay is handsome only makes this that much better. You'll be marrying him next week anyway, why does it matter if you're letting him do this right now? After next week, your father will no longer be controlling what you do. It'll be Jay, if he wants to. You can only imagine the amount of sex the two of you will be having after it's official, so...you enjoy it. Moaning, groaning, feeling that pit in your stomach intensify with each push of his cock inside of you, his breath on your shoulder, whispering filth to you between questions to get to know you. To anyone else, it would seem insane. But the fact of the matter is, you've never actually been together alone. Never had the opportunity to really get to know each other. "You want kids?" He had whispered right against your neck, pushing deeper into you and holding himself there. You nod. "How many?" He half-groans. You managed to moan out a "4", which had him moving faster, harder. "Yeah?" He hummed, kissing your prickled skin and well aware that you're going to have him wrapped around your fucking pinky. "You feel that?" And there it is, the feeling of his cock pulsing inside of you, thick ropes of cum shooting deep against your cervix, the promise of pregnancy coming along side the ring he's about to put on your finger. You moan out, surprised by how you can feel it spilling out of you with each sensitive thrust he offers to you, seemingly pushing his cum in and out of you while simultaneously snaking his hand under you to reach your clit. A whine falls from your lips at the sudden orgasm, so so sensitive, a feeling so intense and new because even when you played with yourself, never did you reach climax like this. You shake under him, clenching his spent length through your own orgasm until he gently pulls out and flips you over. He eyes you over, only now able to see you this closely because he finally got you alone without one of your parent's attached to your side. You really are totally his fucking type. And you're all his. "I think this is going to work out." He mumbles, inspecting you even more closely, ashamed that he didn't even get your top off before pressing you down on his bed. Embarrassed that he didn't have you facing him through your first time. He'll make it up to you next time.

"I'll take good care of you, and I'll be more gentle too." He continues, watching you try to regain your balance of breath. "I didn't know you were a virgin..."

You smile, eyes drowsy, suddenly feeling very sleepy...comfortable. Knowing that this will be the very bed you'll be sleeping in soon enough.

"It's okay." You whisper, clearing your throat and then repeating it in a more confident voice. "If I didn't like it, I would just tell my dad."

Jay's eyes widen, fear reaching his expression as he stares down at you, but you're quick to reassure him.

"I did like it, by the way."