#life is frustrating

[nimhmistsong]

Guys, I wanna write my own book and I have everything outlined and I just-

Yes, I love my world and characters, but they aren't my blorbos. I don't wanna write this. I WANT TO WRITE MOLLYMAUK HAVING A GOOD TIME!!

IF I COULD GET EVEN A QUARTER AS MUCH WRITING DONE TO MY ACTUAL BOOK AS I DO MY MOLLYMAUK/KINSLEY/LUCIEN FANFICS, ID HAVE A THREE BOOK SERIES BY NOW!!

I know I can write long stories with over arching plots, powerful conversations, and engaging moments. I know cause I do it as a hobby. So why is it failing now that I need to do it? Why can't it seems as good as the fanfic I re-read.

Yes, I re-read my own fanfics cause I made them and they cater to my taste. Who wouldn't?

Either way, I just find myself getting really irritated at myself. Because I know I can sit down and write for 3 days straight. Why can't I do it for the book I am pouring all my hopes and dreams into? Why isn't that occupying my mind in the same way. I've drawn these characters. Filled them out and made them rounded as best I could. I made them from pieces of myself. Shouldn't that make it easier?

[veritasrose]

I also think one of my crowns is too high and I may have cracked the tooth under it but that’s a problem for next dental cleaning because I am already in debt for both my teeth and the dogs vet bills so yikers.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[frostedpuffs]

does anyone else hate that work takes up like 90% of your life and you literally are always working and have to form plans and important things and even seeing friends or eating meals around work. it's always just work. im spending my life just being At Work. i don't have time for hobbies or for seeing friends bc it’s always Work. like two days off a week isn't even enough because my days off aren't consecutive so i just spend those days exhausted or doing errands or house chores. there is not enough Time. all the time goes to Work. WHY IS LIFE THIS WAY. humans were not meant for this

[hinamie]

9 / 266

[vettely]

as someone who is starting a new uni at 23 but is blending in perfectly with the 18-year-olds i'm curious and i need to ask

feel free to reblog and tell me in the tags what age do you get mistaken for, and do you find that to be a bad or a good thing :))

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[paradox-n-bedrock]

me in big fandoms: oh cool, it's so active and there's so many people to vibe with, this is amaz-

*finds my niche angle that appeals to approximately six people*

me: okay, folks, it's you and me now

[thefloatingstone]

Appleseed PDA montage to save you from reading endless pages of unimportant politics that don't amount to anything

also because I have nothing better to do, I'm bored, I'm moody, my gaming laptop is still broken so no BG3, and it's too late at night to start drawing after doing animation clean-up all day.

[8amira8]

youchie

[beybuniki]

wait that's a cute deku, my art sucks right now for some reason it might be the fatigue but this is a cute deku mwah!

[toomanywordsnllines]

Sometimes... the world can be a little too much.

[magicshop]

his smile could cure the world ♡ [for @morshiberna ♡]

cr. 0613data

[fairycosmos]

i have been stuck in the same thought loop for like 14 years

[rootmash]

What’s up I got a new sketchbook and if this doesn’t get a trillion notes I’m deleting my account thx

[turbo-tsundere]

Kokichisake-onna

*Happy anime narrator voice*: “And thus, Kokichi has once again successfully evaded the dread of emotional openness!”

Also here’s a random selection of derpy concept doodles for this comic :)

Thank you byeeeeee