#life is crazy lately but this remains my favorite place

[burrowdarling]

A New Tradition

Summary: You wanted to start a new tradition this Christmas by opening one gift early...and you both picked the right gift.

Pairings: boyfriend!Joe Burrow x gifrlfriend!reader

Warnings: Cheesy gifts and conversation, some fluffy Christmas content

Note: Hi everyone! Sorry for the lack of content recently, work was crazy with the holidays. I'm hoping to figure out a posting schedule for the new year. Enjoy this late Christmas post requested by this lovely anon. Better late than never, hope you enjoy! Happy gamedey!

Word Count: 2.3k

Check out my Masterlist here!

Taglist: @burrowbarbie @definitelynotdomanique @one-sweet-gubler @plushkhiii @enchantedinfinity @iosivb9 @hellsingalucard18 Feel free to comment or message me if you'd like to be added to the list!

It was Christmas Eve, and the snow was gently falling outside, blanketing the world in a quiet, peaceful stillness. The winter wasn’t exactly your favorite time of year, but it was something you had grown more fond of since you and Joe had gotten together. You’d spent the afternoon in the kitchen, baking cookies together (though Joe mostly just ate the dough), and now you were getting ready to settle on the couch, mugs of hot cocoa in hand with Joe looking for a Christmas movie to play. Watching the snow slowly fall outside of your living room window brought you back to that night, the memories flooding back in of how your relationship had started.

You and Joe had started to grow closer at the beginning of the Bengal’s season a few years back, with Joe officially asking you to be his girlfriend shortly after Christmas. The 27th to be exact. He had an entire date planned out at this cute little cafe outside of the city in hopes for some type of reprieve from the usual spotlight and prying eyes. Joe wanted to keep things light and low pressure, fearing he would mess things up with you if he over-thought too much about it. The date went perfect, constant banter back and forth between you two with laughs and gentle touches. His humor and smile had you swooning.

You guys took a walk around the area after finishing up, taking in the lights that decorated the streets. The snow was lightly falling, making the whole scene in front of you feel like something out of one of those Hallmark movies. It was under the mistletoe at one of the decorated sidestreets where Joe had asked you to be his girlfriend, sealing your exclusivity with a kiss you think back on to this day. Since then, it has made one of your favorite holidays that much more special in your eyes. 

After a few years together, you decided to get your own place and work towards starting your own life together. This would be your first Christmas together in your home, having spent the time meticulously decorating it to your liking with Joe’s help. It had the perfect balance of cozy and comfort, two things you strived for in your shared space at all times. With the hectic nature of Joe’s job, it was nice to have this space together where the two of you could relax and unwind after a long day. 

Joe pulled you out of your thoughts and back into the moment as he wrapped his arms around your waist from behind you. A small smile played on your lips at how perfect this man was, knowing he would do anything to make you feel loved.

“What’s on your mind?” Joe asked and he peppered a few light kisses along your neck, pulling you closer to his chest. You felt a soft blush rise to your cheeks before you spoke.

“I was just thinking back to our first date and how far we’ve come since then” you side, turning to face him while remaining in his arms.

“I want to start a new tradition, something small that makes today a little more special” you said, reaching up on your tiptoes to place a kiss to his forehead, a smile gracing his lips as you pulled away back down to your usual height. You watched him stand up a tad straighter, signalling that he bent down to help you reach.

“And what would you like that to be, sweetheart?” Joe asked, his eyes looking into yours with such a sense of adoration.

“I think we do a present early, just one. Something that’s a bit more intimate instead of opening everything at once with everyone else watching. We can save the rest for when family is here, but I feel like it would be nice to start something new in our place together” you said, hoping Joe would agree to your request. You kissed his cheek while he thought for a moment.

He placed a kiss to your lips in return before speaking, “I think that’s a great idea and I already just the one I want to give you early” Joe said with a hint of something in his tone that made you pull away to look at him. It was one you knew all too well, bracing for whatever Joe had in store for you. You knew he had a tendency to go elaborate at times for those he loved, you would just have to wait and see.

The two of you were sitting together on the couch, the dim lighting from the Christmas tree casting a warm glow over the room. The fire crackled softly in the background, adding to the atmosphere of calm. Joe, as usual, had that laid-back smile on his face. You could see his eyes twinkling with mischief, even as he pulled out the gift he’d gotten for you from under the tree beside him. 

“So, one gift,” he said, leaning back into the couch, his arm around me. “You sure you’re not going to sneak a peek at the others under the tree?”

You rolled your eyes and nudged him. “I’ll be good. I promise. But only one gift means you have to make this count, Burrow.”

Joe chuckled, looking down at me with his usual easy smile. “Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure I nailed it.”

You smiled back, thinking the same thing. “Same here,” you said. “This is going to be the perfect gift, you’ll see.” You went under the tree and had yours placed next to you on the coffee table, wrapped and finished with a bow, the label read:

To: My MVP

From: Your favorite cheerleader

You thought the sentiment was cute with a hint of flirting, bringing up the thoughts of past intimate exchanges between the two of you. Joe seemed to be thinking the same as he read the label himself when you placed the present in his hand. He raised his eyebrows at you with a knowing smirk, only giving back a wink in return. The two gifts seemed to be about the same size which eased your nerves slightly. Joe handed you his gift, noting the look of uncontainable excitement in his features. You were proud of his wrapping job, his skills improving over the years as each christmas and birthday had passed. His tag to you read:

To: My princess

From: Your knight in jersey armor

You laughed lightly as you read his, Joe’s humor on full display even as soft and sweet as this moment was. You looked up at him as your laughter died down, Joe gestured for you to finally open the gift. You nodded and began to tear through the red and white paper. As you pulled more off, you revealed the classic red and white logo you both know and love. Inside was a custom Lego set, and as soon as you saw it, you gasped. It was a Lego replica of the small café where you and Joe had your first date five years ago — the cozy little spot tucked on a quiet street corner. The tiny Lego pieces meticulously captured every detail: the brick exterior, the little round tables with chairs, the glowing lights in the windows. There was even a tiny version of the street sign out front accompanied by tinier versions of the two of you.

“No way,” you breathed, holding it up in awe. “Joe, this is… this is amazing. How did you even think of this?”

Joe smiled proudly, his eyes lighting up. “Well, I know you love building things, and you always talk about that cafe where we had our first date,” he teased lightly, knowing how much you always beg to go back with the food being amazing. “I thought it would be something fun we could do together.”

You felt a lump form in your throat as you looked at the set in your hands. That night — your first date — had felt like a dream. You’d been so awkward, but somehow, you’d clicked together like puzzle pieces that had been lost and finally found. And now, five years later, here you were, still together, looking back at that moment with a sense of nostalgia and affection. You took in the box, a few small tears welling in your eyes at how thoughtful the gift was and a smile fell across your lips while Joe wiped your tears away, stroking your cheek with the biggest grin on his face.

“I couldn't wait to give that to you so I’m so glad you said about opening something early. I felt like I was gonna give it up any second "Joe rushed out, finishing with a sigh of relief. 

“You’re incredible,” you said softly, setting the Lego set down beside me and turning to him. “I can’t believe you remembered that.”

Joe shrugged casually, though there was a softness in his eyes. “I remember everything about that night. You had that nervous laugh, and I think you spilled your drink at one point, but it was perfect. Just like this.”

You leaned over to kiss him, grateful for the thoughtfulness he always put into everything, especially when it came to us. When you pulled back, you noticed his eyes flicker down to the gift you had for him — the one sitting on the coffee table.

“Oh right, your turn,” you said, giggling as you picked the box up off of the table. 

You passed it over to him — looking quite similar, though wrapped in silver paper this time. Joe didn’t waste any time, tearing it open in his usual fashion. You laughed as he was the complete opposite of you when it came to unwrapping gifts, his usual high level of patience was out the window and nowhere to be found. When he saw what was inside, his eyes widened slightly.

“You didn’t,” he said, already guessing where this was going as he tore through to find the same logo plastered in the corner of the box. Joe burst out laughing, his deep chuckles filling the room. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said between laughs. “We bought each other the same thing?”

You softly chuckled while wiping your few stray tears away, “Oh, I did. Go ahead, open it.” You couldn’t help but laugh too, the absurdity of it making everything feel even more perfect. “How is that even possible?” you asked, shaking your head in disbelief. “We literally thought of the exact same gift?”

Joe tore off the wrapping with a sense of both amusement and disbelief. And sure enough, as the paper fell away, there it was. A custom Lego set — the exact same one he’d just given you. The exact same design, the exact same tiny figures of you and him in the outfits you wore (as close as they could be in Lego style).

Joe shook his head, still laughing. “I swear, I was so sure I was being original! I even went through all this trouble to make sure it was one-of-a-kind!”

“I guess we’re just *that* in sync,” you teased, holding up the Lego set like a trophy. “Maybe we’ve been together too long.”

“Definitely not long enough for me, that’s for sure” Joe grinned, his voice full of affection. “Well, I guess it’s a good thing we both have great taste. Maybe we should’ve just gone shopping together,” Joe joked, voice still sincere. “But hey, we both nailed it.” he said while still processing the absurdity of it all.

It was funny how we could end up with the same exact gift, but in that moment, you realized that it wasn’t about the present itself. It was about the thought behind it — how we both valued memories and the little moments we shared. That first night was just as important to you as it was to him.

“I guess we both really wanted to remember this time,” you said, looking at him with a smile, “and now we’ll remember our first Christmas Eve here together. It’ll be known as the night we both had the best present ever” 

Joe nodded, his eyes softening as he reached for my hand as he spoke, “​​yeah, and every Christmas after this one. Asking you to be mine was still the best decision I ever made and now we’ll have it as a physical memory…twice” he finished with a laugh, making you laugh too.

“Okay,” you said, still chuckling as you nudged him shoulder to shoulder. “We should probably build these together, right? A Lego night like old times?”

Joe raised an eyebrow, clearly up for the challenge. “I’m game. But if you mess up my mini-figure’s hair, I’m going to have to throw down.” tackling you into the cushion behind you as he maneuvered his hands to tickle you.

Joe sent you into a fit of laughter and joking screams, begging him to free you with a promise you’d be good. He finally let up, air filling back into your lungs at a normal rate. You pulled him down by the neck into a kiss, “If you do that again, Joseph, I’ll lose your minifigures hair on purpose”.

Joe acted fake appalled by your statement, “alright, a deal’s a deal. Let’s have a truce and enjoy the rest of the night. I don’t want to worry about a bald miniature of me on Christmas” he joked as the two of you snuggled up for the rest of the night. Looking at the identical gifts on the coffee table, you knew that you were building the life you always wished for with the man of your dreams, one tiny brick at a time.

[gazetto-no-ki]

2024.12.05 Ruki IG stories:

(1) Feel free to ask questions or chat every once in a while 👽🔥

(2) Ruki Update. The sample stickers are so cute, I had to stick one on. Might edit them and release them someday. 🤲

(3) Ruki Update, Part 2. Surrounded by the best staff, we had a great photoshoot. 👏 This story is a long one, so I’ll post about it in the future. 📨📮

(4) Look forward to lots of things in December, too! 🔥

On Twitter: "Just now, I opened up my Instagram stories for some questions and casual chat after a long time. Let me hear what you think 👨‍🚀📨"

1) Q: What kind of work have you been doing lately?

A: I’ve been working on music production, next year’s tour merchandise, and things beyond that. I’ve also been continuously working on NIL since summer. Right now, I feel like staying active rather than resting brings more fruitful results, and above all, it keeps my mind feeling healthy. 🍁

2) Q: Have you been anywhere on a walk recently?

A: In the second half of this year, I’ve often taken the time to visit various places.🚶 There were many memorable spots, so I’ll make another post about them before the year ends. 📨📮

3) Q: Have you been to any art museums recently?

A: There’s one I want to go to, but it hasn’t started yet. It’s something I’m really looking forward to.🖼️ If you have any recommendations, let me know 🙌

4) Q: Do you ever feel like you have the “professional disease”?

[Background image is from Chainsaw Man manga chapter 180 and reads "Uh-oh. It's almost time. This is it. I'm losing it. I'm going crazy, so you can disappear now"]

A: Pretty much my whole life.

5) Q: Do you think you'll get another pup?

A: No, I can't. I still haven't been able to throw away his bed. One of my goals is to completely change the interior of my house next year.

6) Q: Thank you for the story mentioning letters. You even included Hong Kong—thank you so much. It made me really happy.

A: I’m truly happy and grateful to receive letters from all over the world. I spent hours reading them. Please feel free to send more! 📮

7) Q: I'm looking forward to the new NIL products ♪ What will they be?

A: This year, I couldn’t switch out my wardrobe with the seasons, so I made items I want to wear right now. I also didn’t get a chance to change my interior decor, so I created things that can easily change the atmosphere and vibe of a home. Additionally, I wanted to capture "my current self," in a tangible way, so I completely shifted my mindset during the design process. It ended up being meaningful for me personally, and I felt happiness in being able to preserve it in this form. This was my 11th production overall. I’ll share more about it in a post later! 📮

8) Q: Thanks to my husband, I’ve become completely hooked ♡ I recently joined HERESY, and in March, I’ll be attending my first live show.

A: Just about a month and a half left until I get to see you all. Please tell everyone I look forward to seeing you in March😎

9) Q: What’s your current motivation for living?

A: You guys. This will never change, so don’t make me say it over and over again. 🤝🙆‍♂️

10) Q: It’s hard to recognize the moments when your heart regains its strength, isn’t it? But just breathing makes everyone amazing and a genius.

A: Even if you know it in your head, we’re not robots, it’s natural for emotions to have ups and downs. 🤝 There are no numbers written on your face telling you how much energy you have today, your age, your weight, or anything like that. That’s why I hope you don’t worry too much about what other people think and instead cherish the time you spend enjoying the things you love. This year, I’ve felt that it’s important to prioritize that for myself as well. Let’s make the most of the remaining month together and have wonderful days ahead. 🍁

On Twitter:

"I answered a few questions, but why do I keep getting asked about my favorite miso soup and oden ingredients? 🍲"

"Thank you for sharing what you're working hard on or what you're struggling to overcome. I’ll find time to respond to all of them and I plan to save it in my highlights."

"It's about time I get back to work 👨‍🚀"

11) Q: Ruki-san, let's go for a Harley ride lol

A: Rather than that, let's make glasses together again lol 🤝 inari_tsuchiya

12) Q: How do you deal with people whose personalities don’t align with yours?

A: Looking back, I’ve somehow managed to climb to a position where I don’t have to interact with such people. Even so, when I must engage with people in those environments, I try to respect them, thinking they probably have many sides I don’t know about. But I still keep a certain distance and avoid getting too close. Also, to put it simply, I don’t have the time to think about people I don’t get along with.

13) Q: I’m moving at a snail’s pace, but once I’m mentally ready, I will definitely go to another live show.

A: I’ll always be waiting for you. I’ve also received a lot of messages asking, “When is the world tour?” That’s definitely something I want to make happen in the near future. Come see me, because I’ll be coming to see you too🏃

[luna0713hunter]

Can you write more prompts for Zoro pleaseee? Thank you:))

Author's note : haha!!!i was actually gonna write a new fic for zoro when i saw your request!!!as always,ask and you shall receive!

College love

Zoro Roronoa x reader

Summary : new semester,new classes,new classmates and a new love

Warnings : none,College au (my favorite trope),studying and late night talks, gender neutral ,maybe more parts?,not me in the middle of exam season and dying from overworking myself

*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘˚˳°*.✧∘

College sucks.

Everyone tells you college is great;its a place full of new experiences,a new life. Having coffee with friends after lectures and studying together,or simply doodling in your notebook as the professors talk about gods know what.

But as you sip your third cup of coffee that night and rub your eyes while yawning,you glance down at the remaining pages you have to go through before your exam in two days,before you groan and bang your head to the table.

Its exam season,and you're currently sitting in the library at 3:04 am.

College sucks so bad.

You know you have tomorrow to study as well,but between working part time job at a near the campus cafe, and going to lectures,you barely had any time to study.

You stared at your empty cup of coffee and sighed before standing up;then you guess its time to get a refill

✧

"wow,you look like shit."

You dont raise your head from the desk as you groan at your friend.

"hello to you too,Nami."

Nami drops his bag next to you with a 'Thump' and settles down. You feel her hand rub up and down your back (almost awkwardly) and through your misery you manage to crack a smile;being comforting is like a physical torture for your ginger friend.

"did you pull another all nighter?"

Slowly,your head turns in her directly and you narrow your eyes.

"not everyone can be both gorgeous and smart effortlessly like you,Nami. Us, lowly humans,have to choose one." You ignore her eye roll and continue, "and i choose the one that can get me a good job in the future."

"looks can be pretty useful too,honey."

"I'm going to choke you."

"be my guest."

You're too busy to bicker that you dont even notice the door of the class opening and a new person stepping inside. Just as Nami's about to wrap her arm your neck and choke you instead, that's when your eyes land on the new person in the class.

And your breath stops all together.

The first thing that catches your eyes is his green hair. The man is tall,and a mess of green hair making his brown eyes stand out more. There are three golden piercings on his left ear. His black leather jacket looks expensive,and you dont need to see the key to guess that he's probably owns a motorcycle..

"y/n!" You realize you've been staring shamelessly at the man and suddenly whip your head in Nami's direction.

"Nami!" You grip her shoulders and shake her violently, "who's that?!why havent i seen him around?do you know him??is he single???!!"

Nami shoulders off your hands and looks at you like you've grown a second head.

"He's Zoro Roronoa. Our classmate. You haven't seen him cause he almost never shows up at lectures. What the hell is wrong with you exactly?"

"what's wrong with me is that the man is drop dead gorgeous," you frown at her, "and geez girl. How do you know so much about him?"

"cause he's my "kinda friend". We go out drinking together sometimes."

"WHAT?!"

Your shriek is so loud,that when you turn around, you see mr.gorgeous is eyeing you with annoyance.

Great. Your new crush thinks you're crazy.

You duck your head as your cheeks burn with embarrassment. Nami rubs your back sympathetically and you groan tiredly.

"want me to introduce you to him?"

"hell no," you whine and rest your cheek against your desk; letting the surface cooling down your heated skin, "he obviously hates my guts now."

"to be fair,Zoro hates everybody's guts."

"its just a crush Nami," you flash her a smile, "it'll go away eventually."

Unfortunately,it in fact,doesnt go away eventually.

After your embarrassing moment in the classroom,you seem to run into Zoro awfully alot; Whether it be getting a coffee from the near campus cafe,or working your shift there,you seem to always see him.

Zoro liked his coffee black,that was no surprise. The first time that you surved him the black hell,he hadnt even batted an eye at your shakey hands or your stutter.

And you were certain that he had forgotten all about you.

Among the finals creeping close and closer,and with you drowning yourself under your books until morning before going back to your lectures or job,you had completely forgotten all about him.

So when you drop your head on your text book at almost 4 am and try hard not to burst into tears or having a mental breakdown in the almost empty library,you almost scream when a warm can of coffee touches your cheek.

Your head snaps up,and your mouth parts into a small scream that soon gets an ugly glare from the librarian. You shoot her an apologizing look,before turning your head back to the person in front of you.

Zoro freaking Roronoa,holds the coffee in his hand and gives you an unimpressed annoyed look.

"why are you always so loud?"

You dont answer;your mouth hangs open from the shock,and you blink a few times to make sure you're not hallucinating.

"what," you clear your throat, "i,uh, excuse me?"

Zoro rolls his eyes and sits down in front of you while dropping his own backpack on the table. He then slides the drink in front of you and while folding his arms across his chest,he eyes you for a second before looking away.

"you look like a mess. Figured you needed some coffee," he gives you a displeased look from the corner of his eyes, "or some sleep."

Your hands wrap themselves around the warm can;and a small laugh escapes your dry lips.

"you think i can sleep with all these books?i can barely manage between lectures and my part time job with only two hours of sleep as it is!" And for some reason,your stupid brain decides that its a great idea to cry in front of your crush;as if you haven't embarrassed yourself before. So your lower lip starts to wobble,and you let out a small sniffle.

There's a moment of silence;where neither of you say a word. With you starting to finally breakdown,and Zoro just glaring at the textbooks like they had personally offended him. Finally,after a while,you hear him sigh and look up at him with your blurry vision.

"... I'll help you."

"what?"

Another sigh.

"i said, I'll help you study. Im familiar with this stuff,so it'll be nothing."

You let out a loud gasp and stand up from your sit .

"Seriously?!wont you need that time to study?!"

"helping you makes me remember these stuff. It'll be alright."

And when you hold his hands in his,you grin so widely that you feel your cheeks hurting. You shake his hands and laugh lightly.

"thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!!!"

"yea yeah." He shakes off your hands and stands up,and amongst your joy,you manage to catch a small smile on his lips. Zoro flings his backpack on his shoulder and walks away. He gives you one last look and says "go home and rest for now. See you tomorrow."

And suddenly,the world doesnt seem so bad. College doesn't suck,and your crush, apparently,doesnt hate your guts after all.

[sollucets]

2024 recap: most popular vs. favorite

a long time ago (like. a couple weeks?) @kantpattanawat tagged me to do this, and then @doyeons tagged me on my sideblog just lately, and so finally i am Doing It! i'm going to do both blogs, but jinjjayo didn't gif anything until august so it'll be a minute before it shows up. thanks everyone <3

warning: this post has a Lot of gifs and may lag your device

january

most popular (and favorite by virtue of no competition): 3 will be free userdramas event set

i was fairly burnt out on gifmaking in the beginning of 2024. i think i made like two sets in as many months. i do love 3 will be free and i had fun doing the neon text

february

most popular: puppy eyes lao wen

favorite: my school president rainbow anniversary set or perhaps the ye baiyi effect

as you can tell this is when i finished watching word of honor. the 23.5 pilot also aired in february so my will to gif came back to me :')

march

most popular: ramking & aylinluna side couple success formula

favorite: love for love's sake episode three

i'm kind of shocked and delighted that my event set is my most popular as i didn't think anybody still cared about my engineer and i worked very hard on it. i started doing the lfls episode sets this month and it remains some of my very best coloring work. also, 23.5 was airing & i was doing rainbow sets for that.

april

most popular: heartkillers pilot trailer

favorite(s): ugh i did a lot of good giffing this month. yeowoon's smile set, t8s anniversary set, t4t (teacher for teacher), more rainbow 23.5. but my real absolute favorites are:

lfls episode five

beyond evil event set

my best beloved wenzhou poetry set that i worked on while i was in & out of the hospital

somehow i was at my physically sickest but most productive i guess. thats life for you

may

most popular: asexual plakao

i'm glad it is, i worked hard on that coloring & kao remains dear to me

some other favorites: rainbow 23.5, myungha's smile set <33

june

most popular (and favorite by virtue of no competition): eunbi sabotage mv

the kpop gifmaking spiral begins here, but also, i am still enchanted by this mv. sorry i didnt know about masters and quality and all that yet i was just downloading in 1080p from youtube i have learned since

july

my laptop was broken during this month. :(

august

most popular: hearteyes aninpin, skz maniac forever playlist

favorites: only friends anniversary, bon bon chocolat forever playlist

i went kinda crazy in august. no for real i made 40 gifsets across both accounts all while i was figuring out kpop giffing. i was doing some insane sleep schedule shit to gif the loyal pin, too. my early forever playlist sets are all very good in my opinion

september

most popular: aninpin kisses, snsd the boys forever playlist

favorites: tlp e6 aesthetic set, eternally taejun (and my nmixx fe304 break set)

i've like Always wanted to make an eternally lyric set like that so im so glad i finally did. one of my favorite mvs of ever

october

most popular: crop top jongseob

favorite: any of the spooky season forever playlists but especially hoshi spider. warm place in my heart for swan in on my bike as well

i can barely believe i managed to do spooky forever playlist every other day for most of the month. i felt so bad for dropping it but frankly it was a lot. also, i did not gif on my main this month! kpop rabbit hole is real

november

most popular: girl rules trailer, when i'm with you / my first and last

favorite: over the moon mv, bibi derre

what a good month to love women, clearly

december

most popular: strategy jeongyeon

favorite: astro forever playlist, burn it mv

you guys did not love astro enough... that mv is Beautiful. and burn it is so so so good too i have so many thoughts and yaps to say about it

all in all i'm proud of myself for 2024 gifs. i had a weird and strange year but i'm pulling it together and ive had a lot of fun venturing into kpop gifs. thanks everyone <3333

[tosweetiee]

You, me, and us.

let me tell you how much i love him. he is sunsets and tired eyes and messy hair and ripped jeans and late night laughter and spilt coffee and the smell before it rains  and sleepless nights and bad 90s movies and new music and poetry and whispers at 4 a.m. and ice cream and denim and no destination drives and sunday morning. he my moon, my universe, my love, my sun, my lovetaker, my world, and he is everything lovely. i love you so much that words cannot begin to describe it. i want to spend all of eternity with you and never leave your side. there are three things in this world that will always remain a constant: the sun will rise, the wind will blow, and i will love you. you are like a ray of light in dark places. whenever things get rough and i lost all hope, you appear out of no where and save me from destruction. you're truly my savior, my hero, my prince charming ... my everything. i want to grow old with you. not just mature, i mean REALLY grow old. i never want to lose you, cs you are the love of my life.

okay next! CAN I JUST SAY SMTHNG CRAZY ABOUT U? i want to tell u something! do you know? how lucky i am to have u. IM SO HAPPY AND VERY VERY LUCKY. aku udah pernah cerita ke kakak sebelumnya aku tiap deket sama cowo pasti berakhir jelek, sampe aku takut buat mulai hubungan lagi sama cowo lain. tapi, setelah kakak datang ke hidup aku, aku ngerasa bener bener dicinta banget sama kakak. selama aku main rp, baru kali ini nemu yang cintanya setara bukan yang salah satu doang excited nya. sebelum ketemu kakak tuh, aku ngerasa hidup aku kaya ada yang kurang gitu, setelah kakak datang ke hidup aku malah idup aku jadi lebih berwarna pas ada kakak 😵‍💫 MY KINDA love only for u! aku sayang bangettt sama kakakk! kalau kakak gamau percaya juga gapapa. but, tolong kasih aku harapan ya? harapan buat nanti kita berdua bisa bersama untuk selamanya hehe ૮ ˙Ⱉ˙ ა kakak, kalau nanti kita udah ga sama sama lagi, aku harap kakak jangan pernah lupa sama aku ya? aku gapernah nyesel pernah ketemu sama kakak di kehidupan ini. u ARE my woOrld 🌎🤍 IM REALY EXCITED for this! kalau ada yang jahat sama kakak, kasi tau aku ya? nanti aku tonjok orang nya hehee. 🤏🏻

live, laugh, love, Asterius.

kakak dengerin lagu ini deh, ini lagu favorite aku. masukin ke playlist kakak biar kakak ga denger dj sama dangdut terus 🤏🏻

denger ini jugaa! kalo kata Taylor Swift “ In a world of boys, he's a gentleman ”, Daniel Caesar bilang “ If life is a movie, oh you're the best part ”.

AKU BINGUNG MAU NGETIK APALAGIII.

kakak choose ini ajaa 👇🏻

[marine-indie-gal]

Dedicated to anyone out there who did their own Tribute to Stephen Hillenburg, I'm pretty sure we all know we're all know that I am indeed exactly Five Years late for this 😅

Considering that Today is the 62th Birthday to SpongeBob's creator who already passed away, I wanted to share my own tribute to him by drawing my own personal interpertation of Salacia hugging one of her pals (SpongeBob) knowing that Hillenburg is still there for his own creation (even if he may not be alive anymore).

Speaking of which, I wanted to share my own personal history with my own relationship with Hillenburg's creation throughout the Years.

As someone who was born in the 2000s era, I was never born in the 90s which always made Me the Youngst growing up as I was born around in a Crazy Blizzard around 2005 in the month of Christmas. There were a lot of popular things in life around my childhood like Angry Birds, Minecraft, Cut The Rope, My Little Pony, Hello Kitty, and even some First Modern Cartoon Network shows (before that studio went down) and all kinds of Early 2000s/2010s stuff that I've seen in life. One of my first exposures around in Pop Culture of that era when I was young was Disney and even a little addition of Dr. Seuss. I've watched SpongeBob around in its Seasons 4-8 when I was a Young Kid, growing up, I've always adored the Little Sponge Guy around in my childhood considering that it was one of my favorite shows from my childhood. Well, techincally, back then, I was actually more of a TAWOG Person being that Gumball was actually my very exposure of a very first fandom growing up as a kid (I even remember being obessessed with that CN Show until when I stopped watching it. Either that I was too busy on other things or that I was always stressed out on School).

I saw its First Movie when it came out One Year after I was born. I myself had watch that movie all the time as a kid, as I still enjoyed it at the very least to this day. Looking back at it, I actually haven't re-watched the film for quite a long time as it has been such a wicked long time considering that a lot of things change over the past few years of decades. Some things don't certainly age well in our childhood, others do age like wine.

Being a 2000s kid, I actually did had a few DVDs of Old Episodes from the Show from Seasons 1-3 as someone who always had a family moving place to place for weekends of vacation, I would always watch Movies and Shows all the time with my Parents. Sometimes, even if my Parents weren't around, I would sometimes watch a Few Movies and Shows by myself (mostly the obscured ones) on streaming services. Growing up, I had a fascination with Beach Life. I would always collect Seashells, Explore around the Sandy Places, and even most of the Time swim underwater where the Fishes would swim by. Though, oddly enough, SB wasn't the only Aquatic Media that I always loved as a kid since there were a few others that were also Aquatic as well like The Water Babies, Finding Nemo, Shark Tale, Disney's The Little Mermaid, and even Bubble Guppies. So yeah, you can at least pretty much tell that I was already born to be a Marine lover person who always had a life for Life under the Sea.

But when things start to change as I was around in my earliest Teen Years, I had no such more focus on SB anymore considering that like again, I had much focus for other things in life. New fandoms, Better Days (some were also terrible if you could put it that way). In 2018 (when I was 12 at that time of year), when I found out that SB's creator (Stephen Hillenburg) had passed away, I was completely shocked about his death and I had felt bad for the Other Hardcore Fans who missed him dearly partially because on how that he helped everyone's own childhoods with his own creation. I still remain a SB Fan that day but as someone who actually did not seen his New Seasons during that time, I still had no focus on looking back at it but whenever people pass away throughout decades, you'll always know how much you're gonna miss them, even if they were famous people from your childhood, especially for the ones who happen to inspire your own creaitives. Even losing a family member is hard for someone who has lost a few of them in their own life.

Then, around in the year, 2020 (when I was around 14), when SpongeBob was going to release its Third Film after it's Second Film in 2015 ("Sponge Out of Water" when I was 9), that Year itself was hell considering most of the horrible things that happened during that year that I'm pretty sure no one hasn't forget and still remembers that Worst Year to this day (My Mom broke her own Leg during that Year despite that she now broke her Arm in this Year, Kobe tragically died, and even COVID was the reason why we all had to be inside). Not to mention that I already lost my own Grandfather in December and my Mom was extremly heartbroken losing her own Father. When "Sponge On The Run" (Originally titled, "It's A Wonderful Sponge") was annoucned, it had so much delayed troubles I couldn't even be looking forward to seeing it, even after when it finally released around in August in Canada and then in March of 2021 on Netflix (though, it's not really on Netflix anymore last time that I've checked). But when I heard about the Controversy surronding it all because of the Spin-Offs that a lot of people on the internet were saying stuff like "STEPHEN DIDN'T WANT SPINOFFS!!!!!" or "NICK IS SPITTING ON HILLENBURG'S GRAVE BECAUSE HE ASKED FOR NO SPINOFFS!!!!!!" Look, I know that was all History stuff but if a few people are still acting like it to this day, they should get over themselves now. 

In case if you didn't know (or never watched the Third Movie), Sponge On The Run actually started the Whole Spinoffs in segments of Flashbacks to the Days where the Gang were at a Camp which was a brand new fresh start for SB considering after when Steph died, it was only up to his crew to take care his creation. Despite the fact that if you'd had watch all the episodes from the show, you would know that the franchise actually has its own Lore from Each Episode from the Past which people pointed out on how it was ridicolus to restart the lore (even I myself used to believe that). But looking back at the show, and how one of the Writers (Vincent Waller) pointed out that Steph knew about Kamp Koral, it turns out for what people have mislead in the past (if some still do to this day), I think what were all blind is that Steph actually said "He didn't know IF he could have seen in the potentails in wanting give his own Creation a Spin-Off" which, come to think of it, despite the show's genre of Surreal Comdey, I think we've been just living under the rock this whole time judging by how when we grow up, we start to realize that there is no such thing as "Canon" in a show like SB (usually, you'd see different types of canons in every other franchise like Sonic or Angry Birds). But even for that, sometimes a Story has no connection to the Other in terms of speaking in Timeline.

I still remember that time around in 2021 when I was introduced to SMG4, I remember seeing SpongeBob in other parody videos and even that one time I made my own SMG4 Fanfic featuring their own potrayal of the SB Characters (which I believe was kinda embrassing to Me to this day now that I've actually been thinking about it). 

Anyways, now as someone who has already gotten old, I have been looking back at some of my very old nostalgic things around in Childhood since 2022 while still looking forward to new things ahead. Mainly because after so much stress and grief upon everything that I once had in my old life, and now that my own Mother lost her Brother (who was my Uncle), I've already made my own descion Last Year of going through a New Life where I would have to face everything in my upcoming Adulthood, but I still missed my own childhood days. I've watched the Modern New Episodes (Seasons 9-12) for the very first time and honestly, I'm gotta have to admit here, but I actually like the New SpongeBob so much better than the Old One (apologises to those who still prefer the Classic), I still don't have nothing against the Old One but the New One feels so much improved with such Cartoony Whacky Animation that I like to think that I prefer the New Style over the Old Style (but still support both). I had watch the Third Film for the first time as I did used to think that it was bad (like how a lot of people say they would) but overtime, the way that I draw Poseidon somehow makes Me like that Third Movie since the Writers did want to put much heart for how much that Friendship truly meant around SpongeBob and his Friends.

I also couldn't thank Other Artists who done their own versions of Greek/Roman Gods into my own Personal Versions if the Other Gods in the Pantheon were in the Same Artstyle as King Neptune and King Poseidon in a Silly Show as inspiration for those (like my own friends) who have done interpertations of what Other Characters from the Source Material that never been adapted would look like in a form of the Artstyle. Ever since that I did my own personal take on Salacia, it completely took over Me as it made me have a strong fond for both the Sea Kings (even Poseidon and Amphitrite just became my New Mythological OTP alongside with Hades and Persephone thanks to Myself). Not to mention, I also had a long-passion for Old Stories for a long time, it also help Me to inspire to create my own personal versions of these said stories to interprete them in a different way which once lead me into my own Prequel Headcanon Project about the Lives of both King Neptune and King Poseidon in my AU if they weren't from different timelines. 

Overtime, as I always kept looking back at my old self, remembering the Days that I actually did had a Good Childhood, I'll always never forget my own Glorious Days where I grew up with such Nostalgic Things around in my life since SpongeBob was always truly one of my most favorites since the very beginning when I was came to the World. It just makes Me feel so much inspired by Hillenburg considering that he's a Marine biologist like how much I have a huge love for Nature and even a soft spot for Animals. Not only did I once feel hope for having a better future, but for a fact that I was born as a Sea Lover when it comes to looking into Other Aquatic Cultures and Media (New Ones like Splatoon, Ruby Gillman, and even Luca) and even old ones that I didn't saw as a child until Teenhood (The Sea Prince and The Fire Child).

It has come to my conclusion that SpongeBob as a show has always helped us build our childhood as things will always inspire us to give our very own bright imagintation, even to People who have Autism like Myself. While I do respect for those who are not into the show anymore because of its recent seasons, I still support it, even in my heart since I have not look back into it for such a long time as I believe it was my fault for not looking back at everything in my childhood. 

Thank You, Stephen Hillenburg. For reaching all of our own childhoods, even if we don't know what would life would be like without your own Magnificent Sea World.

Salacia (c) Me SpongeBob SquarePants (c) Stephen Hillenburg and Nickelodeon 

[dollarbin]

Shakey Sundays #14:

Stills-Young Band's Long May You Run

I've gone all soft on Stephen Stills of late. After seven straight months and 50+ posts spent excoriating Neil Young's nemesis/buddy/paste-eating boyband classmate I've given Stills a break in March. He had no business interrupting my vital appreciations of Karl Wallinger, Kris Kristofferson and Sandy Denny. There was barely room for him in my far less vital ruminations on Neil Young's Life or Peace Trail.

But your play time is over young Stephen. It's time to pack away your blocks, crayons and wah wah peddle and face my puritanical, yet objective, judgment regarding a core phase in your suckiness: that's right, it's time for me to actually listen to all of Long May You Run.

It took me a few years to find this relatively common-place Dollar Bin record way back when in the 90's. That's because all my usual haunts dumped their fairly worthless copies of Long May You Run in the never-of-any-interest-to-anyone-with-a-decent-sense-of-ethics-and-self-respect Stills, Stephen section instead of in Young, Neil.

But I knew the album's title track from Decade and from what remains my most prized Neil Young record: a bootleg copy of his 74 Honey Slides Bottom Line Show (note: the bootleg is better than Neil's recent official release of the show in that every rambling, humble word and harmonica fumble remains intact). That bootleg was so expensive at a very sketchy shop on the Santa Monica Promenade (the place also sold Star Wars ephemera and water pipes) that I convinced three of my buddies to chip in $5 each in exchange for my commitment to have it transferred to tape for each of them post haste.

Every moment of the show is rich and fulsome, including the premier of the song Long May You Run, which Neil introduces as a song he wrote for his new bus because he can no longer deal with flying airplanes, a detail that goes a long way to understanding the concept behind one of his most complicated records, Landing on Water.

And so I am still never prepared to hear the original album mix of this song. Young ditched not just Zuma-era Crazy Horse but also his savant producer David Briggs to make the entire coked-up record; out of an equal mix of savvy and bitterness Briggs then remixed Stephen Stills almost entirely out of the song on Decade. He also chucked the most Briggs-like event in that original version, a what-the-hell-just-include-it errant harmonica blast before the song gets started. "No sloppy sounds are allowed, Neil" Briggs boomed from his captain's chair. "Not unless I'm around to approve them!"

The song is a Young classic, sure, but it's never been one of my favorites. Too pretty; too earnest. Yes, the verses include a good sex joke (we found things to do in stormy weather) and some juicy Beach Boys non sequitors, but Young is too wasted to land his own jokes.

Neil has a dozen or more different ways to sing while wasted. There's his terrific tequila stagger (just about everything on Tonight's the Night), the terrifying "someone, please someone, pull me out of my dumpster of sorrow" vibe on songs like Pardon my Heart and Borrowed Tune, not to mention his, "Hey, everybody look! I'm so high I'm a flapping penguin" vocals on Vampire Blues or Cripple Creek Ferry.

I could go on; Neil is a connoisseur of making art while altered. The only time Neil sounds unappealingly stoned is whenever Stills's percussionist/vocalist/dealer Joe Lala is around, cutting lines of coke for everyone on his handheld mirrors. Here are Lala and Young together during his Trans tour. Neil is inquiring where he went wrong; Lala is indicating that it all goes back to hiring him to play bongos.

Throughout Long May You Run, it sounds like Neil keeps catching glimpses of himself in Lala's chop glass, and every time Stills and Joe are there grinning over both his shoulders; you can hear the dull, self-loathing result in Long May You Run's vocals.

The same thing happens, only worse, on Young's potentially best song on the record, Let It Shine. I first came to the song via driving and soaring cuts from 76 Japan bootlegs (catch my details on that vital tour here).

But on the record Young sings Let It Shine with self-hatred and a layer of very unattractive menace. There's nothing funny here; it's just ugly. And the guitars sound like they too are supplied from Joe Lala's terrible stash.

I've never done cocaine. The reasons are many: too scary, too expensive, too many lives ruined by the drug trade, and did I mention, too scary? But I've never really needed to think twice about the drug because I've heard this song once a year, or so, for the past 25+ years. If this is what coke does, I want nothing to do with it.

Neil shakes all this weighty failure off a few times on the record. He sounds appealing silly on Ocean Girl, helps the band make a Bee Gees audition tape on Midnight on the Bay (Joe Freakin' Lala passed the test; I imagine Stayin' Alive is the best song he ever performed on) and earnestly asks us about some complex nonsense on the Florida-based, wave riding precursor to Surfer Joe and Moe the Sleaze, Fountainbleau.

For the record: I do not know who put the palm over your blond, Neil. Nor do I know who's been moving everything to where it last was seen. But I do know that Joe Freakin' Lala does everything he can to wreck this otherwise groovy track with his terrible, whoops-I-dropped-my-bong-on-my-bongos-again percussion.

I only play this record when I've got the chance to sit beside the turntable. That's because there are four Stephen Stills tracks littering up the mix, each of them unlistenable. But I will now make myself listen to them anyway.

Here goes:

Make Love to You is ugly terror. Stills thinks he's Ray Manzarek meets Neil Diamond. He gathers the band around him to buff and polish both his nails and his lizard skin pants. The song was recorded 48 years ago but the "girl" in question is probably still in hiding after hearing Stephen the bar crawling man monster bust out his bluesiest warble to announce that he wanted to make love to her and that it was gonna take all night.

There's a flute driven bridge planted in the middle of this harrowing track like a Trump Flag at a pro wrestling event; someone get me the hell out of here before Stills wants to make love to me too.

Black Coral is a soundtrack for my nightmares. The piano riff is fevered and gross, Joe Lala thinks he's getting paid per beat, and Stills has shanghaied us 200 feet down underwater (with Jesus of Nazareth apparently in attendance, I guess? Maybe he forgot how to walk on water?). Stills has no coherent plan other than reminding us to take care: turns out he's more than a terrible musician, he's also the world's worst scuba instructor. There's more flute here too. The drummer, Joe Vital, is responsible. He probably figured, I played a mean flute in elementary school so, what the hell? How could a song like this get any worse?

12/8 Blues is actually worth listening to, once, so as to hear Neil's tiny, I'm a mouse and I'm trapped, backing vocals and his fairly killer guitar. But the riff is toxic and so are the lyrics. Stills tells he's dying, but don't get your hopes up. He wants us to know that he's "got the music" and he grunts like he knows how to pump iron while Neil tries to make something worthwhile out of it all.

The album closes with Guardian Angel, which somehow manages to be boring and nauseating all once. Lala shows off his touch typing skills throughout. Curses upon him. Stills' guardian angel demanded reassignment the moment they heard this song.

Neil has a guitar solo towards the end of Guardian Angel that's mixed to sound like he's in another state; which of course he was, as he literally told them all to eat a peach and went back to Crazy Horse at his first sober and available moment.

And that's exactly what I'm going to do now too: leave the Stills-Young band solidly in my rear-view mirror, listen to Zuma and recover.

[knickynoo]

While I was gathering the High School USA gifs, I couldn't help imagining scenarios where Marty, APK, and JJ are all interacting with each other. Idk if it would be a case of "identical strangers" or alternate timeline versions, but it would be fun. Especially with Marty and JJ! The many similarities and slight contrasts between them could make for some interesting stuff. In particular...

The fact that both of them don't exactly have happy home lives (at least not original timeline Marty). George and Lorraine, while physically present in Marty's life, aren't emotionally there and have their respective issues going on. Meanwhile, JJ's parents aren't physically or emotionally there. His character is alone in an empty house most of the time (I can't remember why--I think his parents travel a lot?), and they dont seem to really care much about him, so he's kind of raising himself without any real parental support system. [EDIT: I went back to check. JJ's father is always traveling, and JJ never knows when he's coming home. He hasn't seen his mother since he was 2 years old.]

They both have nerdy, science-loving best friends! Marty has Doc, obviously, and JJ has Otto, whose main storyline involves his quest to build this huge robot that mostly just ends up walking around and destroying things; it's great.

↑ Otto, in his very first scene meant to clearly convey, "Hey, this guy is a nerd." Look at all that sciencey stuff. He even has a framed picture of Albert Einstein!

Speaking of nerds, JJ is also one. Except, he's not the smart kind; he's the "outcast, class-clown" kind. JJ is just not considered cool by his peers, especially since his social circle mainly consists of other outcasts and "weirdos." Now, I don't think Marty is quite that ostracized by his own peers--he does dress cool, has a band, and skateboards--but I've never pictured Marty as being part of the in-crowd. His personality (sweet, sensitive, low self-esteem, etc) and the fact that his best friend is a widely disliked/rumored to be dangerous and crazy scientist probably puts Marty more on the fringes of most social groups rather than in any popular crowds. This is another thing they'd be able to relate to each other on.

Also! Perhaps my favorite thing would be just...sticking them in a room and watching them attempt to converse or attend to anything for longer than 5 seconds because. JJ is every bit as adhd as Marty is. Like. JJ is all over the place. He's late for school all the time like Marty is and basically lives in the principal's office because he's time-blind and scattered and always goofing off. One of my favorite scenes (and what spurred this whole concept) is where JJ has been sent to the office because he's in trouble again, and through the whole scene, JJ is just touching everything on the principal's desk as he talks. So as he keeps reaching for things, the principal keeps having to grab them back and move them to a place JJ can't get to until there's nothing left on the desk. And the whole scene is played like they do this every single time and the principal is so tired of it. [I think I'll gif this scene hmm]. Anyway! It got me thinking, "Wouldn't it be fun to stick these two in a situation together and watch them literally not be able to stay still or remain on a singular topic for more than 2 seconds."

Now, for a slight contrast: JJ loves Hawaiian shirts. Aside from the very last scene of the movie, where he wears a tuxedo, he's in Hawaiian shirts for the entire film. Not Marty's taste, clothing-wise, BUT! He does happen to have Doc, who is also a Hawaiian shirt aficionado. They can bond over that.

Additionally, a thing I find hilarious: the Crispin Glover Factor. I've neglected Alex P. Keaton in the scenario thus far, but this is a spot where I'd love to throw him into the mix since Crispin is in BTTF, Family Ties, and High School USA. And I just can't get over an imagined scene where, not only are JJ, Alex, and Marty weirded out by their own identical faces, but they realize they also all have this Other Person in their lives who shares the strange predicament. Like, maybe one of them has a picture or something and Marty's like, "Hey, that's my dad when he was younger" and Alex goes, "Um, no, that's my friend Doug," and JJ is all, "?? What? That's my buddy Archie." And it leaves them all so confused because, as far as they can tell, they don't have any other look-alikes that they share in their lives. It's just themselves and for some reason Crispin Glover. Weird.

So, yeah, thanks for coming to my rambling, everyone.

[umichenginabroad]

Let the games begin: The Last Hurrah :(

Week 10

It’s our last full week here! Time really flew by and I can’t believe that I’ll be back in Michigan soon. To make the most of it, we stayed booked and busy to cross things off our San Sebastián bucket list. For the remaining days of our research, we also had a lot to finish up for final presentations. No more afternoon naps, we had to make this final rally count!

My week technically started on Tuesday due to the unfortunate bus situation from over the weekend (read last week’s post for that experience). I went to the beach to soak up some rays and then Jayashree and I went to this restaurant called The Yellow Deli. Maybe this is a hot take but I would say that this became one of my favorite spots to eat in all of San Sebastián, even though it doesn’t specialize in pintxos. It was mainly the vibe of the place that we enjoyed the most since it was like a funky woodland medieval tavern. The cheesecake and hot cider were a perfect combo of pure delish. Mateo always raves about the cheesecakes he eats everywhere he goes but I think he’s really missing out on this one.

On Wednesday we went to La Mamma, our favorite pasta place, since Izzy hadn’t been yet. This time, Deidra decided to try a new dish and I’ve honestly never seen someone experience that much anguish over food before. At first, she said it had a little bit of a kick to it but that didn’t seem to phase her yet. As time went on, poor Deidra started to crumble and it was obvious that the spice was winning. Sweat, tears, and hopefully not blood went into Deidra persevering like a champ through her pasta. Very proud of her for that effort, and I would show a pic of the aftermath but she’d probably kill me if I did so here’s us before Deidra’s five stages of grief:

Bataplán Thursday! At long last we got Izzy and Diego to go to the club with us for one last night out. The funny thing is that Diego kept trying to convince himself to not go but this guy ended up being the life of the party. The club life in Spain starts late and goes on into the wee hours of the morning which is definitely not for the weak. Even though we had work Friday, it was worth it to have fun with the group and do round two of arm wrestling yet again in Bataplán. Later on in the day, we got ready for one last trip which is special because of the…

Olympics!

Friday afternoon we boarded the bus to Bordeaux, about four-ish hours away to go see an Olympic soccer match. I’ve never watched an actual match in person before, so I was really excited to see all the hype and wear my San Fermín fit again in support for the one and only ESPAÑA! We did a lot of exploring the city before the game and found that it was super cute with highlights being castle gateways, a ferris wheel, mini arc de triomphe (nearly every european city has one for some reason??), and a reflection pool. To fuel for the game, we had an energizing lunch courtesy of the huge carrefour market in the city center. You can get a rotisserie chicken, roasted potatoes, and a dessert for like €5?? We then made our way to the stadium on the crazy packed and sweaty tram, then finally made it in and got our dream picture with the mascot of the olympic games: Phryge the French Hat. 

Our seats were in a good spot pretty much right in front of the goal. Earlier in the day, I had bought a spanish flag to wear like a cape and to wave around during the game. As honorary spaniards, all of us had to represent and we. didn’t. disappoint. After every goal we were putting in the WORK to do the chants like our lives depended on it. Spain won 3-1 against the Dominican Republic and I like to think that we were a tiny part of causing that win to happen. I feel like before this game I didn’t really understand what made people so crazy about soccer, but being in the stands in person changed that perspective for me and I had a fun time! At the end of the day after having the sun blast down on us in the stands, we were collapsing. Refueled at a Canadian restaurant where I tried poutine for the first time and it was pretty tasty. Then, ended up back at the reflection pool where Izzy and I went on a rampage of splashing each other to the point where our pants were beyond soaked and I had to wear my flag around me like a skirt. ‘Twas a good end to a good day!

Next week will be my final reflection post, so come back for my last blog ever, tears already! :(

Olé, olé, olé!

Emily Dobao

Biomedical Engineering

IPE San Sebastian, Spain

August 2nd, 2024

[wonderfuldeath]

.o| Seasonal Calendar |o.

Prickly

• July 4 •

Warnings : Violence, injury, graphic depictions, sex

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The weather was hot, the wind was dry, the drink between his fingers tasted of something that was going to cost him the small sum of twenty dollars, so the day wasn't starting out as he'd imagined.

Even so, he didn't care, the terrace was almost empty given the late hour, and he looked at his phone to make sure he hadn't missed the appointment, or arrived too early, and yet he could read, purple on black, that he hadn't. In fact, he was right on time. In fact, he was right on time. A light breath passed his lips as he stretched his back with difficulty, cracking it back into place, his eyes scanning around in the hope of finding the unfamiliar face he'd been waiting for. Min Yoongi had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, when the user by the name of: V the victory's man, suggested a crazy plan. Said V was a famous photographer, married, according to what he had told him, to one of the most popular men, a rabbit-faced model, whom Yoongi had never seen. Jungkook, if he remembered correctly. Anyhow… Yoongi had been accosted by this unscrupulous man, while he was doing his favorite thing: Watching time go by and cats being saved on Youtube. So, V had come to accost him on an app he didn't remember having, that his best friend Hoseok, who obviously hated knowing he was single, had installed for him, to make him a strange proposition: Come on a date, with a photographer looking for a muse. Whose name he didn't know, nor his face, nor even what kind of photos the guy took. In short, Yoongi didn't know much about what he was doing with his life, but he was always being told to do things a little different from his usual routine. So here he was, at the seaside, around eighteen o'clock, doing a photo shoot with a stranger he'd met on a dodgy website. Maybe not the best idea after all, but now that he was there, sitting on the terrace of the bar he'd chosen, he might as well enjoy the last milkshake of his life.

“- Kitty Cat?”

Yoongi jerked up as he straightened his cat eyes, mentally telling himself that he should gut Hoseok with his stupid nickname. He remains silent long enough to discover the stranger. Smaller than he'd imagined, but his pair of shoes with heels told him not to comment. Yoongi was almost disappointed to find out that he was a photographer rather than a model. His outfit was of an adolescent: a simple red vest over black jeans, candy-pink hair, the very cliché of the artist, and Yoongi wondered if he had any other secrets hidden beneath the layers of clothing. Yes, the Min was gay, or rather Bi, he liked everything, as long as the person in front of him had a character that matched his ideal, the physical for him? A face could quickly lose its resemblance over time, while a personality remained stagnant. He snapped out of his torpor, wondering how long he'd been staring at him, learning the features of his face, and Yoongi finally nodded, inviting him to settle down.

“- I suppose you're V?

- Ah… No, V is my best friend. I'm Jimin, Park Jimin. But people just call me Jimin.

- Yes, they do. Min Yoongi.”

Yoongi was often described as being like a cat, not very talkative, not very affectionate at first sight. But life had wanted it that way. Unscrupulous parents, a life on the streets, trying not to sink, he had learned to toughen up, to become a rock without emotions, never to complain. In his thirties, he'd seen a lot, not all of it pretty, not all of it good. But he remained polite, so Yoongi ordered Jimin the drink of his choice, a glass of alcohol, a cocktail with exotic names, before the photographer snapped out of his torpor, as if Yoongi had made a great impression on him.

“- As V says, I'm looking for a model for my new portfolio. I'm an art student at Seoul University. I can pay you! It would be a three-year contract.

- What line of work do you do? Male model?

- You could say that, yes. I do sensual, nude photos. I showcase a body, to prove that no matter what may have happened in your life, you can still be beautiful.”

Yoongi didn't know what to say, remaining silent while he took in all the information, he didn't like himself very much, there was nothing special about him. He was an ordinary Korean, with eyes more slanted than some others, nothing more. He took his time to think things over, before Jimin came up with a real contract, and truth be told, the price was more than acceptable for this kind of thing. To tell the truth, Yoongi couldn't really afford to be choosy: he was also an artist, and music was everything that made him tick. But it was hard to make a real place for himself in this kind of place, the competition was tough, so he couldn't really say no to easy money. Three years would give him enough to get a decent apartment, save up, and leave his best friend's apartment once and for all.

“- Where will the shoots take place?

- In my apartment, I'll give you the address, in a reliable setting.

- It's a lot for a student. How can I be sure I'll get paid?

- The checks will be issued by Jeon Jungkook. You can always check to see if they're real."

Panic in Jimin's eyes, he pinches his lower lip as he digs into his satchel a second time, pulling out the first paycheck with two zeros more than on the paper, signed by the obviously masculine hand of Jeon Jungkook. The famous model married to V. Yoongi looks at it, takes it between his fingers, inspects it like a tax inspector, looking for the slightest trace of forgery, but he was no expert, far from it. So he just takes it, looking at the small lines of the contract, everything seems legal, so he signs, sure and certain that he's not risking selling a kidney. The young man looks reassured, finally blowing out his breath and letting himself go in the seat of his chair, as if a huge weight had just been lifted from his shoulders.

“- At a price like that, you must have had quite a crowd, right?

- Well, not really. People are terrified of having photos of themselves in a vulnerable position. If you hadn't signed, I'd probably have had to write off my year. Thank you.”

The kid seemed polite, genuine in his gestures. Yoongi paid for the two drinks, before returning to Jung Hoseok's small studio, a veritable dance machine, having opened his own school which was all the rage, the young man was behind the kitchen counter, straightening a curious gaze at the good humor of the cat sliding onto the bar stools.

“- Someone's got good news, obviously.

- You'll be able to resume the rhythm of your sexual frolics with your girlfriend, the cat takes off.

- You got a job? You know I would have if you hadn't told me not to.

- Exactly. I don't want to take advantage of you anymore. Besides, my boss is pretty cute.”

It hadn't taken Yoongi long to find a furnished studio apartment that he could afford. After all, he wasn't a fussy man who settled for very little, so as long as the residence was quiet, the neighbors were silent and he got his five hours' sleep, it suited him perfectly. The school year only took a good month, giving Yoongi the chance to settle in comfortably, and get his bearings in his new home, before receiving the first message from Park Jimin, called just Jimin, which made him laugh every time his eyes fell on the contact name. Yes, he could be a bit of a brat when he wanted to be, but Jimin had even sought him out, a bit. Jimin's apartment was bigger than his own and much better maintained. It was always strange to walk into a lived-in apartment that looked like the magazines, impersonal, tidy, an apartment of a guy who had to go out on the street and watch people while they lived. One of psychopaths. Yoongi couldn't help the shiver that ran through his body as he nipped at his lower lip, Jimin indicating that he should take a seat in his office, a large desk filled with various accessories, a bed in the center, chairs arranged perfectly straight, Jimin must have had a few knocks.

“- Excuse the mess, I haven't finished setting up my office yet. Take off your top, we're going to start soft and go from strength to strength.

- Okay.”

Yoongi settles down, takes off his leather jacket, and hesitates for a second, before taking off his shirt, in a slow gesture, as if he wanted to take as much time as possible, finally his white skin is revealed in front of a slightly surprised Jimin. A hiccup passes his lips and Yoongi almost feels bad about this reaction, as he rushes to grab his top, Jimin holds him back, apologizing half-heartedly.

“ - You're beautiful.”

The words had passed his lips unintentionally, to the reaction of the photographer, who apologizes half-heartedly, before taking on a more professional air. He indicated that he should strike a pose, before the session began, and Yoongi finally agreed to play along. The more time passed, the more the clothes slipped off the pale skin, the months ran by like grains of sand, and Yoongi had never asked to see Jimin's work. He trusted him, after all. A year goes by like that. And Yoongi is called in again for a shoot, a sweet habit that makes him smile softly, but he pauses in front of the new painting at the entrance to the house. Yoongi's features are recognizable, he's from the back, the curve of his hips almost touchable, while his bulging buttocks can be made out beneath the veil. It was in black and white, which brought out the scar on his shoulder, a flowing line from a distant operation that no one can forget. Jimin let him contemplate, in silence, before opening his mouth.

“- Do you like it?

- I'm not sure.

- If you want, I can take it off. I'd put it somewhere else. So I could look at it.

- How often do you look at this kind of picture?

- Every day. When we're not working together.

- Well, that's good. I'd feel less guilty then.

- Guilty?”

Yoongi approaches Jimin, kissing his lips with infinite tenderness. Time turns and stops at the same time, as the younger man responds with equal tenderness and feeling, making the older man smile. Realizing that perhaps, finally, he had hope at the beginning of this summer, that their contract would last more than three years.

[itsbellat]

Rainbow Hearts: My Journey of Love and Acceptance

Hey there, my fabulous readers! Today, I'm gonna spill the tea on a rollercoaster ride of emotions, heartbreak, and self-discovery. So, grab your tissues (and maybe a tub of ice cream) 'cause we're about to dive into my coming-out story. Buckle up, lovelies, 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

Picture this: high school drama, butterflies in my stomach, and a heart that beats to the rhythm of teenage crushes. I had this major crush on Sam, a classmate who made my heart do somersaults and my mind go all mushy. Little did I know, Sam was bi-curious, and things took a steamy turn when we found ourselves making out in my bedroom.

But, oh honey, plot twist incoming! Just when I thought my dreams were coming true, life pulled a fast one on me. One fateful day, while Sam and I were caught up in the heat of the moment, my dear ol' mom decided to make an unannounced entrance. Yeah, talk about the ultimate buzzkill! My mom's eyes widened, and her jaw practically hit the floor when she saw us locked in a passionate embrace.

Sam had to make a swift exit, leaving me alone with my mom and a million emotions swirling inside me. But let me tell you, my mom? She's an absolute queen. She looked me straight in the eyes and reassured me that she loved and supported me, no matter who I loved. I could see the worry in her eyes when she told me that my dad wouldn't understand, so we had to keep our little secret between us. Mama bear was ready to protect her cub, and I couldn't be more grateful for her love and acceptance.

Heartbreak, my friends, is a real kicker. In the aftermath of the Sam saga, I discovered that Sam had a crush on this blonde dude from our history class named Zack. Talk about a twist of fate that felt like a punch to the gut! It felt like someone had played a cruel joke on my heart, leaving it bruised and shattered.

But being the passionate soul that I am, I couldn't let my emotions fester inside me. So, I did what any writer with a heart on the mend would do—I poured my feelings into a love letter. You know, penning down all those raw emotions, the highs, the lows, the what-ifs, and the what-could-have-beens. It was like bleeding my heart onto paper, putting every ounce of my vulnerability into words.

Now, let me share with you a snippet from that heartfelt letter:

"Dear Sam,

There are a million thoughts swirling inside my head, like a tornado of emotions that I can't seem to tame. It's crazy how the mere thought of you can make my heart dance a wild salsa, and how your smile feels like a ray of sunshine on even the gloomiest days.

But, my love, fate has thrown a curveball that has left me spinning. Discovering your crush on Zack felt like a dagger through my heart, shattering the dreams I had woven around us. It's like watching my favorite rom-com, only to have the ending rewritten without me in it.

Yet, despite the ache, I want you to know that my heart still carries a flame for you. Maybe it's foolish, maybe it's reckless, but it's a fire that refuses to be extinguished. And if one day, when the stars align and the universe whispers its secrets, you find yourself wondering about what could have been, remember that my heart will always hold a special place just for you.

With love, Bella" After pouring my heart out into that love letter, I couldn't muster the courage to give it to Sam. Fear and doubt crept in, playing tricks on my mind. What if it was too late? What if it would only bring more pain? So, that heartfelt letter remained hidden, tucked away in a secret drawer, carrying the weight of unspoken words and unfulfilled dreams.

But here I am, sharing this intimate story with all of you in the vast expanse of the blogosphere. It's funny how time has a way of shifting perspectives and healing wounds. I've realized that sometimes, the act of writing about our experiences can be just as cathartic as sharing them with the world. My hidden treasure of emotions, unveiled and released into the universe. It's a testament to the journey of self-discovery, resilience, and finding solace in the power of words. Life may not always turn out the way we expect, but it's in those unexpected detours that we uncover our true strength.

And there you have it, my friends—a glimpse into the rollercoaster of emotions that was my coming-out story. Life has its twists and turns, and sometimes love takes us on unexpected detours. But through it all, I've learned that being true to yourself and finding acceptance in your own heart is the greatest love story of all. Now, let's raise a metaphorical glass and toast to vulnerability, to love's unpredictable dance, and to the beauty of embracing our authentic selves. Here's to you, dear readers, and to the courage it takes to share our stories, even when they bear the marks of bittersweet memories.

Stay fierce, stay fabulous, and keep embracing the beautiful chaos that is your journey. Love is a wild adventure, and I'm here cheering you on every step of the way!

XOXO, Bella

[incorrectborhapquotes]

I'm glad that you're back

Thank you dear !!!!! Well as you can tell I’m still kind of in the middle of chaotic personal life and responsibilities since I answered this like weeks late. But thank you so much 💜💜💜 and thanks for sticking around !

[sitp-recs]

The Trouble with Wanting by @waldorph

Harry/Draco (2021, Explicit, 60k)

Draco Malfoy is cleared of all charges; this is what happens next.

He rolled over and stared out the window at the trees of the park, the light of the city leaking through their boughs, before turning his attention to the storm on his arm finally calming. It was art, and beautiful, and nothing a Malfoy should have. Pure blooded heirs were meant to be pristine in all ways, virginal and unmarred and what had it gotten any of them? This was his, and he was free, and 18, and he had taken his own body back. He wasn’t anyone’s to offer up as penance, he never would be again. Whatever else, he was his own person.

I have @teacup-tai, who knows me so well, to thank for this incredible rec! Immediate post-war has remained one of my favorite tropes over the years - I lost count of how many times I screamed about Waiting by an Open Door, my go-to comfort read - and I’m really happy Tai sent this my way, another brilliant Draco POV crafted to attack me on personal levels because I’m that predictable. I’m amazed by the author’s - who I wasn’t familiar with before reading this - captivating narrative: immersive and witty while being very fun and sweet.

Draco’s voice is an absolute treat and his sense of humor seduced me right away. He’s earnest but posh, bratty but kind, alternating between moments of sharp wit, vulnerability, confusion and not-so-controlled pining. He feels very much like an 18yo kid who’s finally starting to live his life and making choices by himself for a change, good 👏🏻 for 👏🏻 him 👏🏻 I had a blast following his post-war routine: the hilarious and nuanced dynamics with the Silver Trio (Blaise my beloved has such an unique voice, different from what we usually see in fic which I found refreshing!), Draco’s casual affair and sexual experimentation with Theo, the happenstance (is it though 😌) of his meetings with Harry and the growing intense attraction between them. The slow burn is particularly satisfying and I’m also fascinated by two minor plot points: the first is Draco’s relationship with Simon - the parlour owner aka Drarry matchmaker - and the story behind their tattoos. It’s so interesting to think they somehow connect Draco and Harry while being 100% about their past, identity and interests. The other concept I really love is the long-term curse damage by Sectumsempra, what a fascinating idea! Love me some dramaH and body worship, please and thank.

This is definitely the fic for you if you’re looking for: oblivious Harry with no respect for personal space! Sentient murderer Grimmauld! Blaise’s relatable thirst for Weasleys! And my fave Ron & Draco brOTP 🙌 also the usual mutual pining and sexy UST with lots of touching and dancing around each other, we love to see it. Harry’s a force of nature, earnest, smooth and slightly unhinged, he’s openly crazy for Draco and really fun to read, a charming counterpart to Draco’s (attempted) composed self. A minor - but very important note: the smut is deliciously hot and self-indulgent, I’m here for feral Harry leaving Draco breathless with want oof, their first time is so so sexy but also endearingly light and fun (“So you’re essentially holding your dick hostage on a name” lmao the nerve!!!). For all their banter and sass this is a really sweet get together, full of joy and wonder, it made me really soft for them.

Beyond the top notch humor and romance, this story also explores organically Harry’s post-war struggles to find a place and purpose. I always appreciate it when Harry’s inner conflict with his Auror job is addressed and we get to see him finding another path to happiness, with Draco’s encouragement. This has become one of my favourite recent reads about the post-war, 18yo Drarry is not my usual brand but boy, they’re incredibly charming and this story made me laugh, tear up, and reflect back on my (long gone 🥲) late teen years. Lastly, don’t let the fic length scare you! This is a smooth and quick read, doesn’t feel like 60k at all. Happy Friday!

Read on AO3

[360iris]

Wanna Be Down (George Weasley x Reader x Fred Weasley)

Warnings: Pure smut! She/her pronouns for the reader! No funny business between the boys I promise! There’s bound to be some typo that I missed, sorry ‘bout that!

Word count: 1,628

Summary: There’s a birthday, a bunny costume and The Twins... What could go wrong?

A/N: This was originally meant to drop on their birthday, April 1st... I’m 28 days late for that but hey, better late than never! It’s been collecting dust for the entire time and I wanted to set it free. I hope someone enjoys it!

“You want me to- to wear a bunny outfit and have the two of you…” You faltered nervously, the words seemed foreign on your tongue.

“-fuck you in it.” Fred finished for you with a wide grin, as if this was the most in the ordinary activity to plan.

The twins wanted to sleep with you? This was the first you’d heard of it, that’s for sure. And though the thought sent waves of excitement through your body, the prospect was daunting.

You’d been friends since diapers, a meager six hours separating your births. And whether the bond that formed later was predetermined by fate, or by pure chance, it was wholly indestructible.

Through the years, the three of you operated perfectly insync. Remaining quite persistently glued at the hip; completing every task deemed worthy enough as an odd unit.

There was an unspoken rule that each of you would make sure that the others felt equally included in activities.

So why should taking your virginity be any different?

“We’ll be twenty in a few hours, Y/N. Don’t you want to kick off the new decade with a bang?” George asked, his face genuine and voice laced with just the right amount of sweetness. He always did know how to persuade you into going along with Fred’s crazy schemes.

“Quite literally in this instance.” Fred added cheekily and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Both of you have had sex before though. Plenty of times in fact! You told me about it afterwards! In vivid detail at that! Why are you so worried about me now?” Your brows were furrowed, lips turned downwards in a pout.

Sitting criss-cross on your bed, you tugged one of the many pillows on your bed into your lap. Squeezing it tighter when you met their gazes again.

Fred had his hands tucked into his jean pockets, happy as ever. He acted as if it was only a matter of time before he’d get the answer he wanted.

George on the other hand, at least looked like he was having a conversation with you; and not like he was just waiting for you to realize you’d never actually said no to them before. His eyes were soft, assessing your demeanor before approaching your spot at the foot of the bed.

“You know you’re our favorite girl. Don’t you, Y/N?” He questioned and you suddenly felt smaller looking directly up at him. Ginger waves caressing his cheeks and pooling at his shoulders.

“I mean- I suppose.” You replied dumbly.

“Who do we always come back home to?” He asked again, his left hand lifting up from his side to comb through your hair. The pads of his fingers brushing against your cheek as they went.

“Me.” Your answer was hushed, though it was only the three of you in the flat. They’d closed the shop downstairs hours ago.

“And who trails after me as much as she can during the day, practically jumping into my lap the first opportunity she gets?” His voice was getting lower and his gaze remained fixed to you, you tried your best not to squirm.

“M- Me.”

“Lastly, whose the babygirl that slips into my bed at three in the morning because she stays up too late and gets scared?” He was teasing you now, you knew it, but still gave him a reply.

“Me, George.” Both of his hands were cupping your face now, fingertips laced in your hair, you couldn’t look away even if you wanted to.

“So when I ask my favorite girl to put on the outfit I picked out for her, so I can make her feel good on her birthday, what do you think I want to hear back?” A single brow arched as he waited for your answer, ignoring Fred’s quiet “I helped choose it too, y’know.”

Wrapping your fingers around his wrists, you thought about all the times he and Fred had slept with other girls. How deep down you’d wished they’d looked at you the same way.

He allowed you to remove one of his hands, a dark smirk splitting across his face when you’d slowly brought it between your legs. Only coming to a stop when he was cupping your heat.

“I think- I think I’ve been holding out for you.” It was no higher than a whisper, but it’d been the truth nonetheless. He smiled wider at this confession, leaning in and pressing a light kiss on your forehead.

“All the more reason not to disappoint.” He responded, you faintly registered rustling from behind him.

“Y/N, dear?” Fred called.

“Hm?”

“Time to put the outfit on.”

It’d been relatively easy to slip into the get-up. The bodysuit, wrist cuffs and neck piece fitting like a glove.

“When did you get my measurements?” You asked, looking down at yourself.

“Since when have we not had your measurements?” Fred laughed, pulling you onto the bed with him until your back was flush against his chest. Your head comfortably leaning back on his left shoulder.

George following after you, settled for sitting up in front of you, his knees digging into the pink duvet.

“The ears are a nice touch.” He remarked with a pleased smirk. “Don’t you agree, Fred?”

“Absolutely. All white suits her.” He replied matter-a-factly, hands already roaming your torso. Ghosting over your exposed thighs, he hooked a finger under the bikini line of the bodysuit and let it snap back into place. Your hips jutted outwards at the impact.

“Want to hear you ask for it, Y/N.” George was palming your calves, making you feel small again.

“What do you want me to say?” Your brows furrowed curiously at the request, breath hitching when he utilized his grip to pull you further down Fred’s chest. Your ankles eventually hooking against George’s shoulders.

“Want him to play with your little cunt, don’t you baby?” Fred asked from above you, heat rushing to your face at his words.

“Y- Yeah.”

“Then ask, darling.” He grinned at your eyes widening as you met his gaze upside down.

Turning your attention back to George, you absentmindedly bit at the end your thumb nervously. Sure you’d used curse words like anyone else in the world, but the thought of actually asking the twins to fuck you was on a level you’d never thought you’d reach.

“Georgie?” You tried carefully.

“What is it, baby?” He replied softly, a smile playing on his lips, patiently waiting.

“Want- Want you to make me feel good.”

“How?” He prompted, delighting in your fidgeting. Fred however wasn’t feeling as patient, sending a soft smack to your inner thigh.

“Don’t have all day, bunny.” He chided, slowly massaging the site.

“Want your cock, Georgie.” You finally relented, wanting nothing more than to hide your face in your hands, but you feared being spanked again by Fred. 

George rewarded you with a kiss, palming your clit through the material. He swallowed up every whimper that escaped your lips, only answering by expertly thumbing the area faster. 

“Let’s see how wet you are, bun.” Fred whispered, pulling the bodysuit aside to reveal your heat. Running a finger through your folds, he promptly brought it to your mouth. Smirking widely when you began meekly sucking at the digit.

“I’m gonna get you ready, okay sweetheart?” George asked, mouthing at your neck. He didn’t move until you garbled something close to “okay” through Fred’s fingers sadistically pressing down your throat.

Armed with plenty of lube, the first finger sliding into you felt like nothing. By the third, he resorted to distracting you by rubbing your bud to ease the initial stretch. Although nothing could have prepared you for how uncomfortable taking his tip was.

It was a slow process, full of the boys tenderly guiding you to breathe deeply and relax your muscles. With the abundance of their attention focused on outweighing the discomfort with pleasure, eventually the mild pain began to blur around the edges. 

The level of satisfaction that rolled over you when you’d finally reached the hilt was like no other. 

“Good girl.” Fred purred into your hair as George wiped away a stray tear from the corner of your eye. “Took it like a champ, didn’t she, Georgie boy?”

“Sure did, Fred. Squeezing me so nicely too.” He replied smiling proudly.

“Full- So full.” You whimpered blearily, not sure which boy you were grasping for. Each accepted one of your wandering hands, giving them an encouraging squeeze.

“You’re doing so well, babygirl. How about you let me make you feel good now, hm?” George’s voice was gruff as he patiently waited for you to nod back in response.

Soon the discomfort had melted away, leaving only the easy slide of George’s length and the gratification of being engulfed between the loves of your life. 

You promptly got lost in the jumble of mouths, hands and pleasure. 

“Gonna come for us, love?” George asked, holding your hips done to focus his thrusts. 

“Can I- Can I, please? Please let me come!” You whined desperately, unable to distinguish whose hands belonged to who.

“Go ahead, bunny.” George answered and it was all you needed to hear. Your visioned blurred as your toes curled, the only thing you could register was that he was fucking you through it. Fred’s fingers circling your clit didn’t let up until you were pathetically trying to pull at his wrist.

A weak mewl fell from your lips as George pulled out of you spent. Simpering under his praises, you closed your eyes. 

The sudden smack against your face was sobering, leaving you blurrily blinking up at Fred’s eager grin.

“I hope you didn’t think you were off the clock, bun.”

[gukyi]

the love project | jjk

summary: from running to mcdonald’s at 3am after a halloween party where the two of you dressed up as the teletubbies to timing how long it takes for him to drink a cup of monster mixed with mountain dew and iced coffee and then do fifty push-ups, you’re used to your best friend jungkook asking you to do all sorts of crazy things. but, of all the shit the two of you do, letting him follow you around for a week with a camera and take candid photos of you for a photography assignment might just be the craziest of them all.

{college!au, friends to lovers!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader genre: fluff, comedy word count: 12k warnings: college antics, hopeless pining, slow burn a/n: me: this fic will be 10k max! also me: actually nevermind on par for the course of this blog, i hope you enjoy this fic! it was so much fun to write and it definitely got me back into the ~writing mood~. more fics coming soon!

These days, the weeks pass you by like trains on a platform. They whiz past you, the only discernible features being the beginning and the end of them, with the middle nothing but a blur. 

At least, that’s how it feels when you’re in college, and the days bleed into weeks bleed into months, and suddenly you’re one year closer to graduating, one year closer to figuring out what next to do with your life, even if you’re still missing that one general education requirement you forgot to take in your first year so now you’re trying to cram it into your schedule at the last minute.

Okay, you’ll admit it. Introduction to Astronomy is kicking your ass. That’s what you get for putting it off until junior year, when you’re supposed to have reached the point in your History major career where you don’t have to look at numbers anymore and the idea of doing basic math is absolutely unfathomable. History majors don’t do math. They just don’t. It vanished from your academic arsenal long before now, alongside your ability to interpret word problems and understand science textbooks. 

Perhaps in another universe, you would have actually retained those skills past high school, but that universe is not this one, and so your problem sets can solve themselves or not be solved at all. 

Your best friend would have to disagree.

“It’s not even calculus!” Jungkook exclaims over a mouthful of a Starbucks tomato and pesto panini, pointing to your laptop in exasperation, as if the answer has been staring you in the face for the past fifteen minutes. “It’s just algebra! All you’re doing is plugging the numbers into the formula and finding the missing variable!”

“Easy for you to say,” you huff, furiously erasing at the notebook in front of you as you get yet another incorrect answer. Who knew math could be so difficult? Oh, that’s right. You did. “You took that advanced differential equations class for fun last year. It’s not even required for your major. You’re just a masochist.”

“Says the person who convinced their advisor to let them take seven classes because they, and I quote, ‘all seemed so interesting’ and you ‘didn’t want to miss out.’” Jungkook rebukes pointedly. “Because your life would be so terrible if you didn’t take Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe.”

He’s got you there. Seven classes is a lot. In your defense, Economic History of Pre-Industrialized Europe was very interesting and you got a 4.0 that semester. So who is he to judge? Jungkook’s favorite pastime is pretending that taking three different computer science classes in a single semester isn’t going to single-handedly kill him.

Jungkook watches you struggle for a few moments more before he sighs, like he can’t take looking at someone so mathematically incompetent any longer. He stuffs the remaining third of his Starbucks panini into his mouth all at once like the ravenous beast he is before he reaches over the tiny table you’re sat at to look at your problem set himself. He turns your laptop towards him and grabs hold of your notebook, furrowing his eyebrows as he enters Work Jungkook Mode. 

Work Jungkook Mode is the mode of him you see most often during finals week or the rare occasions where you meet up to actually try and get work done. Work Jungkook has tunnel vision for whatever assignment is currently in front of him, which he will do either in one sitting or die trying. Work Jungkook lets his coffee get cold and forgets to answer your text messages, even when you’re sat right across from him and you know that he can see the notification on his laptop. Work Jungkook refuses to turn in anything that he hasn’t devoted his entire being to, even if it’s something as simple as a discussion board post. Some of his other friends say that when Jungkook is in Work Jungkook Mode, they won’t even try to contact him, lest their messages get lost in the flurry of his coding assignments. 

But you are not “some of his other friends.” You are his best friend. So rules do not apply to you. And Jungkook has long accepted that fact.

“Hey, don’t mess up my work—” You exclaim defensively, grabby hands reaching over the table to retrieve your notebook. “Wait, how did you do that?”

Jungkook scribbles something down in nearly-illegible font, determined to solve the problem in front of him. He thinks for a few more seconds before eventually jotting down an answer, circling it with his pencil. Holding the notebook out so both of you can see, he scoots his chair over to your side of the table, your shoulders pressed together in this tiny corner of the Starbucks, right by the bathroom, and explains, step by step, what he did. 

He does that for the following two problems in your set, walking you through the kind of math he was doing in freshman year of high school like it’s nothing, answering all of your stupid questions and giving you tips on how to finesse the system by taking as many shortcuts as possible. Teaching you things you never learned, or possibly had just forgotten. Things that a professor would think is idiotic to re-teach to a junior in university. Things that Jungkook wants you to know because he just wants you to have a little more faith in yourself. 

“Does that help?” He asks when he’s finished, still doubting his fantastic teaching abilities despite the fact that he just taught you more in the last thirty minutes than your professor has managed in a month and a half. 

“It actually does,” you tell him, pleasantly surprised. Looking back down at your notebook, what was once a shapeless blur of numbers, letters, and formulas is suddenly a clear and organized outline of each and every step to follow. “I didn’t know it was that easy.”

“Anything can be easy if you just commit yourself to learning how to do it,” Jungkook says, one of those random sentences that are too wise for a college student surviving off of RedBull and Starbucks food, the ones that always make you think Jungkook is secretly an immortal sage with life experiences far beyond your own. “Except coding. Which is hard no matter how good you are at it.”

“Aw, you can do it,” you rally, reaching up to pinch his chin in between your fingers and squeeze it tight. “It’s also too late to change your major now, so you’re stuck.”

“Wow, thanks for the encouragement,” Jungkook chides, hand coming up to rub at where you held his jaw, rolling his eyes. “You should let me help you with your Astronomy work more often. Gives me a break from Python.”

“I would have made you help me whether you liked it or not,” you tell him pointedly, because he is your best friend and he doesn’t get out of things as easily as he thinks he can. “But thanks. I’ll definitely take you up on that.”

“Of course,” Jungkook says with a good-natured grin, always so selfless and kind and giving. He practically signed himself up for a semester’s worth of TA-ing for Introduction to Astronomy despite the constant mountain of work he has himself. Just because it’s you. 

“My very own personal genius,” you muse, wrapping your hands around his arm and snuggling into his body, a whisper of a language only the two of you share. It’s something the two of you have long gotten used to, pressing your fingers all over each other’s bodies like it’s second nature. One of the things that makes you feel so certain about having Jungkook in your life. About wanting him to stay with you for the rest of time. “I’m never letting you go.”

Jungkook smiles, a warm hand coming to rest atop of your own. He breathes, in and out, chest rising beneath your touch. “Like I’d ever let you,” he says.

There is no question about it. Jungkook is one hundred percent, absolutely, undoubtedly, positively, indisputably smarter than you are. It’s something that the two of you used to jokingly fight about (because Jungkook claims that he’s a bad essay writer, even though he’s not), but at this point it’s cemented in stone—he’s a damn genius. A genius who is inexplicably good at everything. A double threat. Triple, if you count the fact that he’s built beyond belief and could probably chuck you into next week if you really, really ticked him off. 

The truth is that, ninety percent of the time it is you who is going to Jungkook for help. Whether it be an assignment you need assistance on (namely Astronomy, because Jungkook probably couldn’t help you on your Mesopotamian artifact and primary source analyses despite his best intentions), a date that was a lot worse than you were hoping it would be, or even just the right coffee to order from that expensive place on the corner. Jungkook knows how to fix everything. 

So when Jungkook slides into the seat across from you in the food court after his Mastering Photography class with that I’m in trouble look on his face, you know something is horribly wrong. 

“Are you alright?” You ask, concerned as you watch him devour the sushi takeout in front of him, stuffing the spicy tuna rolls into his mouth like they’re Skittles. His camera hangs haphazardly out of his open backpack, like he barely had enough time to stuff it into the pocket while he was making his way here. There’s a worried expression written all over his face as he fumbles with the chopsticks in his hand, losing his grip on them every ten seconds. 

It’s not until Jungkook has finished the container of spicy tuna rolls in front of them that he finally seems to work up the courage to answer you. 

“My Photography class is gonna be the death of me,” Jungkook exclaims, exasperated. 

“I thought you liked it,” you comment unhelpfully. Jungkook had been so excited to be enrolled in it, because you needed a recommendation from a different professor and you had to submit a portfolio in order to join the class, making it one of those exclusive (and thus, much better) courses. Not to mention the fact that Jungkook is basically already a professional photographer if his Instagram is anything to go by. He’s going to walk out of university with a Photography minor whether he realizes it or not.

“I do,” Jungkook insists, even if right now it sounds like the two of you both need convincing of that fact. “But this project is ridiculous. I don’t even know how my professor expects us to have the time to finish it.”

“What do you have to do?”

Jungkook sighs. Just thinking about it seems to stress him out. “I mean, it’s only really a week long. So I guess it’s not too bad. But we’re supposed to compile a portfolio of the same subject, taken over the course of the week, with them in all sorts of different poses and lighting and locations, to express a personal theme.”

You scrunch your nose up in confusion. “I might be wrong, but isn’t that what photography… is?” You ask cluelessly. 

“Yes,” Jungkook argues, “but also no. Photography is taking pictures of things just for the hell of it. Not because they necessarily speak to a part of your soul. You just like the look of it. You want to capture the scene. That’s it.”

“Oh,” You say dumbly. 

“And our subject can be whoever or whatever we want, but he recommended choosing a person because taking pictures of our water bottles in different places is boring,” Jungkook huffs, though his professor does have a point there. Modern history wasn’t made out of photographs of store windows and miscellaneous items. It was made out of people, out of events in their lives that shaped the rest of the world, out of personal experiences that changed their point of view. “But I don’t even know anybody who would be willing to let me photograph them for a whole week! I’d basically have to follow them around like paparazzi!”

“I’ll do it,” you suggest casually, because it seems like the most obvious choice to you. There’s no one Jungkook spends as much time with as you. 

Jungkook’s eyes pop out of his head. “What?”

“I’m serious,” you insist. “Think about it. You need a subject for your project that you can photograph in a wide variety of places and over the course of a week. Who else do you spend that much time with, other than me?”

“Well..” Jungkook begins, trying to fight your reasons with his own. “Would you even be comfortable with something like that? I mean, I’m literally going to constantly be taking photos of you.”

“Like we don’t already do that on our phones,” you tease, having amassed quite the album of terrible Jungkook pictures over the years. 

“A camera is different from a phone,” Jungkook protests weakly. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m just saying. It won’t bother me,” you say with a shrug. Why is Jungkook being so… weird about your suggestion? You thought he would be jumping at the offer, especially considering it means he won’t have to go out of his way to find and photograph someone else for this assignment. But he’s being rather hesitant. You watch as he glares down at his empty sushi takeout box, eyebrows furrowed in that thick, nervous way. “But you don’t have to,” you backtrack. “It was just a suggestion.”

He breathes in and breathes out, expression solid. Even from here you can see the cogs whirring in his brain, placing each and every potential result into a pro and con list inside his mind, trying to work out whether the benefits will be greater than the cost. 

Quite frankly, you don’t know what all the holdup is about. 

“You’re… sure about this?” He asks, looking up at you, determined to ensure your comfort. As if that’s even an issue. “You’re cool with being photographed and everything?”

“Only because it’s you,” you tease lightheartedly, expecting some sort of equally cheesy response. Instead, it makes Jungkook do something weird. He freezes in place, darting his eyes away from your gaze for a split second, collecting thoughts you can’t see. “Yeah,” you say loudly, trying to bring him back. “I’m fine with it.”

He inhales, exhales, closes his eyes, and opens them. “Okay then. I guess it’s settled. You’ll be my subject,” he declares, an almost unnoticeable wobble to his voice. It’s probably nothing, so you don’t think too hard about it.

“Can you at least pretend to be a little more excited about this?” You ask, jabbing him in the chest with a wooden chopstick. “It’s the first time we’ve ever gotten to be part of a project together!”

“Yay,” Jungkook says, lifeless. 

“How about a photo to commemorate it?” You suggest, reaching over to pull the camera out of his backpack, pushing it into his hands. “This can be the start of your portfolio.”

“Fine,” he eventually caves, bringing it up to his eye as he turns it on, twisting the lens to perfect the focus. Even caught off guard like this, he looks like a professional, like someone who was born to be behind the camera. He’s a computer science major but you know that photography will always be something special to him.

You strike a dramatic pose, holding your chopsticks out, one in each hand, with a wide, excited smile on your face. “How do I look?” You ask, scrunching your eyes together. 

Jungkook’s finger hovers over the silver button. “Perfect,” he tells you, voice soft and honest. 

Click.

“So, how many photos are you supposed to take for this portfolio?” You ask as you flop around on Jungkook’s bed, pretending that the open tab on your laptop with your fifty-page reading doesn’t exist. You don’t even know why professors assign readings that long. Do they really expect you to read all of it?

From across his room, you can make out the top of Jungkook’s fluffy brown hair over his sleek gaming chair, one of the ones that look like high-tech airplane seats. “I don’t know,” he says. “He said at least twenty. And no more than fifty. Which really makes me wonder if someone once submitted like, one hundred photos for this project that he had to grade them on. But yeah.”

“That doesn’t sound too bad,” you say. When you’re around a cute animal, you can easily take twenty photographs. Granted, they aren’t exactly award-worthy photographs, but it’s not a physically demanding task. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook says. “Hypothetically you could finish it in a day. But it looks really obvious.”

“Well, how many do you have now?”

It’s been a day and a half since Jungkook agreed to let you be his so-called muse, but already you’ve lost track of how many photos he’s taken of you. He loves his camera, you know that, but you didn’t realize exactly how much he loves his camera. And with you as the sole subject for his project, he’s practically letting it hang from his neck all day long, just waiting for the right time to snap a photo of you standing in line at the food court, frowning at your textbook, or waiting to meet up with him. Every time he sees you he snaps a picture, even if the lighting’s bad, even if you haven’t had your morning coffee yet, even if it’s midnight and you look like a zombie. In his mind, there are no bad pictures. Just memories.

You wonder what the hell he sees in you. 

“A lot,” Jungkook answers unhelpfully, making no effort to elaborate on that statement. 

“Have you counted?” You ask, getting off of his bed to join him at his desk. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize what you’re doing until you’re standing right next to him, placing a hand over his shoulders as you lean down next to him. He fumbles around for a second, the mouse slipping through his grip, and you catch a glimpse of one of the photos he’s taken of you, a sliver of your pursed lips, the wrinkles between your eyebrows. 

It’s from the library yesterday. You didn’t even know Jungkook had taken a picture of you there. You had a stupid reading to complete last night, one that made no sense and was terribly-written, and you spent an hour just trying to figure out what the damn argument was, and Jungkook captured it. You were there for an hour and Jungkook was there too, watching you like it was nothing, waiting for the perfect moment. He was there, sitting across from you, camera at the ready. You didn’t even hear it click. 

He closes it before you get a closer look at the photo, frantically hitting the little red dot at the top corner of the window before you have a chance to ask why. 

“What, I’m not allowed to see?” You chide, a little bit hurt but more confused than anything else. Why is Jungkook being so secretive?

“No,” Jungkook spits quickly. making you raise an eyebrow in alarm. “I mean, it’s a surprise. You get to see when it’s finished. I still have to… uh, edit. And stuff.”

“Edit? You think I’m that ugly?” You tease, knowing that he probably means color correction but enjoying the way that he gets all flustered when he hears your voice.

Jungkook’s eyes widen at that, like he just realized he made a wrong turn and is desperately backtracking. “What, no! I don’t—I don’t think you’re ugly.”

You laugh, letting the sound of your voice ease the tension in his shoulders, reveling in the way his big doe eyes seem to soften when he realizes you were just teasing. He looks like a kid caught stealing a candy bar from a gas station, looks like one of those boyfriends in the viral videos where the girl reveals that she got him a present or something instead, all nervous and full of explanations. 

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” you assure him, rubbing up and down his arm to soothe him, calm his heart down. “You don’t have to show me. I’m just excited. No one’s ever taken photos of me like this before.”

“I would,” Jungkook speaks up softly. “If you asked. I would.”

“I know,” You say. You’re not sure if there’s a thing in this world Jungkook wouldn’t do for you, and you, him. If he asked, you would pluck the stars from the sky for him. Bring him back a piece of the moon. Stop time. Anything. Everything. Just for him. “I know.”

 “What are you doing?” Jungkook asks, changing the topic as he whirls around in his gaming chair. 

“Just another reading, like always,” you dismiss, because you’re positive the last thing Jungkook wants to hear about right now is your primary source reading on irrigation techniques in agrarian Europe. You don’t even want to hear about it. “But I could use some help on Astronomy.”

Without another word, Jungkook gets up from his desk and the two of you head over to his bed, where an untouched problem set waits on your computer. He grabs a notebook from his backpack along the way before sitting down next to you on the edge of his bed, bodies pressed together. Slowly, he begins to coach you through each problem, step by step, drawing pictures and diagrams if he has to, until you finish all ten problems. 

The truth is, you didn’t really need help with this unit. Astronomy’s gotten a lot easier now that Jungkook has taught you the strategies to tackle it. But Jungkook sometimes feels like a ghost when he works, especially when he’s sitting at his desk, quiet and focused and almost invisible. And call you clingy, but you like it when you can look up and see his face instead of the back of a chair, a little tuft of wavy brown hair. You like it when he’s right beside you, in a place where you know you won’t lose him, where you can hold on if things get rough. Where you can see his stupid brown eyes and his goofy smile and know that he’ll always be there for you. 

When he’s finished, Jungkook doesn’t get back up to sit at his desk. He flops down on his back, staring up at the white ceiling of his room, eyes tracing the cracks. You join him, side by side, pretending that there’s something there. Looking up at the sky would be nicer, but it doesn’t really matter, so long as you’re with him.

“I didn’t know you took so many photos,” you say.

“I never want to miss anything.”

“You should give me more warnings, next time. I feel like I look so ugly in some of them.”

“No, you don’t. Don’t say stuff like that.”

“You don’t think I’m ugly?” You ask him, for real this time. It’s not that you think he’s going to say that he does, it’s that you want to know what he really thinks. How he really sees you. You turn your head to him, back pressed against his comforter, barely a foot apart. And he turns back to you, and he’s right there, right there in front of you, big brown eyes wide and blinking. He’s right there, how could you miss him?

“No,” Jungkook says, honest and true. He looks at you, looks right at you, right into you, and he muses to himself, chuckling. “Why would I ever think that?”

At the end of the day, you can’t really be bothered to put on real pants in anticipation of Jungkook’s trigger-happy camera-taking tendencies. He’s seen you spill a boiling hot bowl of tomato soup all over yourself in the dining hall. He’s seen you at four in the morning in the library the night before finals begin, eyebags down to your knees and mismatched shoes on your feet. He’s seen you in the middle of a frat house, sweat dripping down your forehead and smelling of nothing but straight alcohol. Getting dressed up just for him would be antithetical to the very foundation of your friendship. 

You have, however, become keenly more cognizant in the last few days of when Jungkook is about to take a photo of you. Mostly because you glance up at your surroundings every three seconds to make sure you aren’t getting sniped from across the food court. Nobody else needs to see a picture of you picking up three pieces of sushi with your chopsticks and stuffing them all into your mouth at once. And, from what you can tell, you’ve been pretty successful, which either means you’ve gotten better at telling when Jungkook might be taking a photo of you, or Jungkook’s gotten better at hiding it. 

Either way, he’s got a lot more pictures of you reflexively flashing a peace-sign in his direction when you hear the telltale sound of his camera lens focusing, so you’re not really sure what that means for the fate of his portfolio. 

Besides your newfound hyper-awareness of the sound of a camera lens adjusting, the strangest part of you and Jungkook’s little project is how quickly the rest of your friends adjusted to this brand new dynamic. 

This is not to say this assignment is the weirdest thing you and Jungkook have done together, because there was once one week where you and Jungkook challenged each other to only eat bananas for every meal to see if anything would happen to either of you. Nothing did, but after that week you swore off bananas for the rest of your life and have had little appetite for them since. 

It’s more that your other friends have just accepted the fact that ridiculous, extravagant shenanigans are a necessary part of you and Jungkook’s relationship and have simply chosen not to question them anymore. At least, most of them have. 

“So, how’s you and Jungkook’s little photography fling going?” Maisie asks, and even through the phone you can hear the way she’s wiggling her eyebrows. 

“It’s not a fling, and it’s fine,” you hiss back, trying to keep your voice down as you pack up your belongings, phone pressed between your ear and your shoulder. “Stop speaking so loudly, everyone else in the library can probably hear you.”

“Good, because they’ve all probably noticed the way Jungkook’s been following you around like an unrestrained fanboy for the past four days taking pictures of you,” Maisie says pointedly, voice so sharp it causes you to look around at the other tables to make sure no one’s listening in. 

You frown, hoping your deadpan expression is audible through the phone. “It’s not like that and you know it.”

“Don’t you think it’s even a little strange that you’ve given Jungkook full permission to take photos of you like you’re a model and he’s some sort of weird, professional paparazzi?” You can practically see Maisie’s face in front of you, all wide eyes and raised eyebrows as she makes her point.

“No, it’s what we agreed on,” you remind her for the umpteenth time. There’s nothing weird about this. You’re helping him with a project, what more could it be? “Jungkook needed someone to take pictures of for his photography project and I thought it would be a good idea if I was that someone.”

“Hmm… wonder why…” Maisie trails off, deliberately vague and suggestive all at once. 

“You’ve been going on about this ever since Jungkook and I met, Maise,” you say with a roll of your eyes, tossing your backpack over your shoulder. “You know that Jungkook and I are just friends. Like we have always been.”

“Friends that take candid photos of each other under the guise of a project,” Maisie adds, and you can see the air quotes around the word “project” right in front of you.

“Friends that help each other out because that’s what friends do,” you correct. “You’re just going to have to accept the fact that Jungkook and I are always going to be just friends and nothing more. No matter how much money you’ve bet on us getting together.”

Maisie gasps. “I have not bet money on such a thing! This is slander!”

“Don’t think I don’t see you and Jimin’s damn Venmo history.” You pull up to the front desk of the library to check out a primary source book needed for one of your classes. It’s the first edition, and it’s battered beyond belief, but it’s better than paying for it. “Just this, thanks.”

“The only way you could convince me that you and Jungkook are just friends is if you go on a date or something,” Maisie comments snidely. “I don’t think I’ve seen either of you romantically interested in someone else the entire time you’ve known each other. Isn’t that proof enough?”

“You want me to go on a date with someone?” You demand, determined to get Maisie to hop off your ass about this. 

You and Jungkook are just friends. If swiping right with someone on Tinder and getting dinner and a movie with them is what will convince Maisie of that, then that is what you will do. It’s not as if being friends with Jungkook is mutually exclusive with you going out with other people. Should be easy, right? 

The boy behind the counter tells you your book is due back at the end of the semester, and you nod your thanks before heading out of the library.

“Fine, I’ll go on a date with someone. If it’ll get you to stop trying to convince me that Jungkook and I are gonna get married and have babies,” you declare, pushing your body against the door handles as you leave, five minutes to spare before your next class begins. 

“You guys would have really cute babies, I’m just saying,” Maisie points out like it’s nothing. 

You roll your eyes, taking the phone away from your ear as your finger hovers over the red button. “See you, Maise.”

You’re barely three steps out of the library, still rolling your eyes at the Call Ended screen on your phone when a voice catches your attention. 

“Y/N!”

You turn your head just in time to see Jungkook’s devilish grin disappear behind his camera, and you don’t even have time to blink before he begins snapping away, finger mashing the silver button at the top as your expression morphs from surprise to defeat, unable to counter his sniping abilities with a signature peace sign. Even from twenty feet away, you can hear Jungkook laughing as you take the opportunity to pose for a few moments, like you really are a model and he really is your personal photographer. The sound of his giggles fills the air, music to your ears, lingering between you like dandelion wisps, blown by the wind. 

Another voice breaks you from your trance. 

“And here we have our resident celebrity and her paparazzi,” Jimin says, motioning to the two of you as he speaks to an enormous tour group of potential applicants and their parents. Caught in front of them, the heat suddenly rushes to your cheeks as you instinctively cover your face, embarrassed to have been pointed out by Jimin, whose amicable, lovable personality is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to his part-time job as a tour guide. 

The worst part is how some of the parents and students seem to believe him for a second, that you really are famous and that Jungkook really is your photographer, looking at the two of you inquisitively as you shrink beneath their gazes. 

“I’m kidding,” Jimin quickly continues as Jungkook joins you where you stand, laughing at the way you look like a deer caught in headlights. “They’re just some friends of mine who we happened to catch outside the library, which is our next stop. But don’t they look so cute together?”

“Are you guys dating?” One of the students pipes up, asking what no one else dared to. 

Your eyes widen at the notion, wondering if you and Jungkook really are cursed to always be mistaken for a couple when you two have never been, and most likely will never be one. Shaking your head, you force out a laugh, “No, we’re just friends.” Beside you, Jungkook is noticeably silent. You suppose he’s gotten just as sick of explaining as you. 

“Bummer, right?” Jimin asks his group, earning a couple of disappointed nods from innocent high-schoolers that still believe in love. “But I’m working on that, so don’t worry. Anyway, this library will be your main destination for studying, book-reading, and everything in between, and is conveniently located two minutes away from the freshman dorms…”

The conversation finally drawn away from you and Jungkook, you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you had been holding in. “Weird, right? Even high-schoolers think we’re together.”

Jungkook doesn’t meet your eyes, fiddling with the settings on his camera just to keep his hands busy. The quiet makes you wonder what is going on up inside his head, makes you wonder what it is he’s thinking about, what it is you’re not seeing. Lately, it’s felt like there’s something on Jungkook’s mind you wish he felt comfortable telling you. 

“Hey, you alright?” You ask, giving him a little nudge with your side. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No,” Jungkook says, voice soft, barely audible. It doesn’t make you feel any better. “No, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. Don’t you have class soon?”

“Oh, shit, you’re right, fuck,” you say, checking your phone only to find you have barely a minute to get to your next class. Guess you’ll be using one of your allotted absences today. “Thanks for reminding me. Dinner tonight?”

“I’ll text you,” Jungkook promises, and you nod your agreement as you dash off, determined to turn a five-minute walk into a one-minute one with the power of exercise. As you leave, you watch as Jungkook flounders outside the library, staring down at his camera and scrolling through his photos, and you still find yourself feeling like you’re missing something. What is Jungkook not telling you? 

What do you not know?

By the time you reach your class, two minutes late and completely out of breath, tardiness is the last thing on your mind.

This project was just meant to be a friend helping out a friend. So why does it feel like you and Jungkook are losing each other?

Using Tinder is easy. Dangerously so.

You’re no expert in app design, but its simplified “yes or no” mechanic has you swiping through people like it’s an extreme sport, barely giving some of them a second glance if their Tinder profile description doesn’t make you laugh within the first sentence. 

Tinder was, admittedly, not your first choice of potential date-finding methods. Call you old-fashioned, but whatever happened to asking someone in person if they wanted to get a meal with you? To showing up at their doorstep with a rose bouquet and a toothy white grin? Perhaps all of those old-timey movies you and Jungkook always watched have given you unrealistic expectations. But can you blame them? 

Even if Tinder wasn’t your first choice, it was certainly the fastest. It takes a second to look at someone’s designated Tinder thumbnail, two to read their description, and three to decide if they’re worth a swipe right. Compare that to actively meeting up with someone, getting their contact information, and then continuing to dance around each other until you finally decide to get dinner together. That’s the sort of thing that could take weeks. Maybe months. And in some cases, years.

Besides, it’s not like you had very many options at your disposal. You don’t trust Maisie to set you up with someone because she’ll probably just choose one of the many boys from her management class and call it a day. Asking someone yourself is absolutely out of the question. And, for some strange, unknown reason, the idea of getting Jungkook to hook you up with one of his friends just doesn’t sit right with you.

So, Tinder it is. And as it turns out, chivalry isn’t dead. It’s just archaic.

An hour into your mindless swiping, you get a message notification. Two hours after that, you’ve got plans with a nice senior boy whom you’ve never met. 

And for the first time in a very long time, there’s something to mark on your calendar for Saturday night.

The little blue block on your Google Calendar tab stares back at you from where your open laptop sits on your desk, the red line that signifies your current time slowly inching towards it as you fumble around in front of your mirror, more dressed up than you have been in weeks. Maisie was right. It’s been so long since you’ve gone out with someone that you’ve completely forgotten what the dress code is for something like this. A dress? Heels? Makeup?

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you will anyway. What if he’s wearing a hoodie and sweats while you look like you’re about to attend the goddamn Academy Awards? Maybe the eyeshadow was a little too much.

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks it’s inevitable that you do. The door to your apartment swings open, and you can hear heavy footsteps making their way to your bedroom, that easy gait of his familiar as always.

“Hey, do you think we can just get some take-out and watch a stupid old noir movie, or something? I’ve had a day,” he shouts out, the sigh audible in his voice.

You don’t want to overshoot it, but part of you thinks you definitely have when you turn around to see Jungkook standing right outside your bedroom in the floppiest sweater you’ve ever seen and jeans with holes in the knees, mouth agape as he stares straight at you. It’s impossible not to notice the way his eyes are blown wide at the sight of you, at the way they rake up and down your figure, like he can’t even believe what he’s seeing. It’s impossible not to notice how he seems to flounder at the sight of you.

The only thing that breaks the both of you out of your stupors, frozen in place like two criminals caught red-handed, is the sound of his hulking black backpack thudding to the floor. 

“Whoa.”

“Do you think it’s too much?” You ask, voice wobbly. God, why are you so nervous? It’s just Jungkook. 

“Too much for what?” Jungkook blinks, deliberate and slow, as if he’s determined to make sure his eyes aren’t deceiving him. “Where are you going?”

“I think we’ll have to do a raincheck for the noir movie and takeout,” you say sheepishly, pursing your lips together in fright as you force out a small, tense smile. “I’m… going out. With someone.”

“Like,” Jungkook begins, and even from here you can hear the way he stops himself, hear him breathe out every word, thick on his tongue. “On a date?”

“Yeah.”

It’s a one-syllable word and yet it takes nearly all of your willpower just to say it. Just to confirm what Jungkook’s already thinking. Just to tell him, your best friend, your ride or die, your number one, that you’re going out on a date. 

“Oh.” Jungkook’s voice is lifeless. “Do I know them?”

“No, uh, it’s just some guy I met on Tinder. I don’t know, I just wanted to see what all the hype was about, I guess. And I haven’t really been on a date in a while, so I figured I might just take up the opportunity, so we’re probably just going to go out to a restaurant and maybe go to a club afterwards if we’re still in the mood, and—” You cut yourself off, so nervous that you’ve resorted to your terrible habit of rambling to try and ease the tension. “Why? Do you think it’s too much?”

“You use Tinder?” Jungkook asks instead. It sounds like he’s shocked to hear this. 

“Yeah…” you trail off. “Why?”

Jungkook freezes at the question, but it’s not because it seems like he doesn’t have an answer. It’s because it seems like he does. Only it’s an answer he doesn’t want to share. 

“Nothing, it’s nothing,” he eventually settles on, shaking his head. “You, uh, you look good.”

“You think? I feel like it’s a lot. I don’t know how to dress appropriately for stuff like this anymore,” you ask, palms sweaty as you furiously straighten out the skirt of your dress. “Should I change into pants, or anything?”

“No, no, I think that’s fine,” Jungkook says with an honest smile. “You look nice like this.”

“It’s probably been like, a year since you last saw me in a dress,” you comment mindlessly, turning back to face the mirror as you fiddle with your makeup, finger wiping away a bit of smudged lipstick or a stray bit of mascara. “I miss my sweats. Hey, whoa, wait, what are you doing—?”

You whip around to find Jungkook slowly fishing out the camera from his backpack, hand gripping it tightly as he brandishes it in front of you. 

“I, um, I just wanted to see if I could maybe take a photo of you,” Jungkook says, a small, little grin decorating his features. “Since you’re all dressed up.”

“Seriously?” You ask in disbelief. 

Jungkook nods, holding the camera out in front of him. “Just one.”

He looks so small, standing across your bedroom. He looks so small and delicate and intimate, body curled in on itself ever so slightly as he looks at you, the yellow glow of your ceiling light reflected in his hazelnut eyes, drowning beneath his clothes. He looks like he has never seen a moment more perfect, never seen an opportunity as clear, looks like he thinks that if he blinks he’ll miss it. 

Looks as if a photo will be the only way to remember it. 

And you nod. Because he is your best friend, and who are you to deny him of something so simple? Of a press of a button? It doesn’t feel like a project anymore. It just feels like a memory. 

Jungkook brings the camera to his eye, and you smile at him, soft and gentle and warm. He grins back, focusing the camera lens before snapping away. 

You wonder what he sees. 

(You wonder if it’s as beautiful as what you see.)

“Have fun tonight, okay?” Jungkook asks of you as your Google Calendar notification sounds, letting you know you have approximately two minutes before he’s supposed to pick you up outside your apartment.

You nod. “I will. And if I don’t, then I’ll come over afterwards. And we can watch that stupid noir film.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes, a shrug of his shoulders. 

“But I want to. So I will. Okay? I’ll text you,” you promise. “Don’t think I’ll forget about you.”

Jungkook smiles at your little tease, at the way you cup the side of his jaw with your hand as you head towards your front door. 

“Wait, Y/N,” Jungkook sputters out, running after you. He reaches you right as you get to the door, hand grasping the doorknob. You turn to look at him, blinking. “I hope tonight is everything you dreamed of.”

There is something so distinctly sad in his voice. It makes you wonder who has broken his heart. Makes you wonder what you can do to fix it.

“Even if it’s not,” you say to him, taking his hand in your own and squeezing it tight, reminding him that, no matter what, you’re still here. “I know you’ll always be there to take care of me afterwards.”

Your phone buzzes with a message from your date, and you scurry out the door. 

For some reason, there’s a part of you that wishes you never even left. 

The date is okay. Not bad, but nothing to write home about. By the time you finished eating, it was obvious neither of you had any interest in continuing the night elsewhere, whether it be a club or a karaoke bar. He pays for your meal despite your insistence that you can handle the check perfectly fine on your own, thanks you for a nice night, and drops you right back at your apartment. And so goes your one and only Tinder experience, blowing away like a leaf in the wind. 

You look down at your phone. It isn’t even nine o’clock yet. 

[November 7th, 8:48PM]

You: you still game for that movie?

[November 7th, 8:50PM]

Jungkook: you finished your date already?

You: is that a yes or a no

Jungkook: my door is always open, you know that

You: you’re gonna get robbed one day and it’s gonna be by me You: i’m coming over

The walk from your apartment to Jungkook’s is six minutes and thirty seconds on a good day, and seven minutes and fifteen seconds on a bad day, which is usually dependent on if the traffic light over the main road has decided to be extra slow or not. You could walk the damn route in your sleep if you really wanted, having done it so many times in the last year and a half, ever since he moved out of on-campus housing and into his own place.

Tonight, it takes you nearly eight minutes to get to his apartment, but you mostly chalk that up to the heels you’re wearing. If you cared any less about your dignity, you’d probably take them off and walk barefoot like a defeated heroine in a romance movie, shoes dangling from your fingers as they hang low by your side. 

But you aren’t defeated. You didn’t have the world’s most spectacular date, but the night isn’t over just yet. 

Jungkook’s waiting at his front door by the time you arrive. 

“Eight minutes, huh? You’re getting old,” he asks snidely, looking down at the invisible watch on his wrist. 

“Your counting is just off,” you retort easily, falling into that same friendly rhythm, that familiar little beat that the two of you share. You push past him and into his apartment, instantly feeling more at home, shoulders sinking and heartbeat soothing as you soak in the scent of his room, of his home, of him. 

“How’d it go?” Jungkook asks, eyes hopeful as they watch you tug off your heels. They were hardly three inches tall and yet you still want nothing to do with them. 

You shrug. “Eh. It was okay.”

“Just okay?” Jungkook asks, sounding seriously upset for you. Upset that you didn’t have a good night even after you promised him that you would. Upset that it didn’t turn out to be everything you wanted. 

“I don’t know,” you admit, looking over at him, dejected. “It just—I just had this feeling that it wasn’t going to work out.”

Jungkook scowls to himself, eyebrows furrowing like he’s trying to figure out what exactly you mean by that. And the truth is, you’re not sure either. The date was fine, and he was nice, but even when you first met it felt like you weren’t going to get what you wanted from him. Like you were just going on the date to go on the date. Like you already knew that it would mean nothing. 

Jungkook was going to be waiting for you at the end of the night whether it went amazingly well or terribly bad. And knowing that, strangely enough, almost made you want the date to be horrible. Like it would make seeing Jungkook afterwards that much sweeter. 

“Oh,” Jungkook says lamely. “Well, I’m sorry. It seemed like you were really looking forward to it.”

“It’s alright,” you assure him. “Can we just watch this movie now and make fun of how sexist it is? Please?”

To that, Jungkook easily agrees. As he’s queueing up the movie, you raid his closet for a hoodie and sweatpants, desperate to strip yourself of your dress and tights and cozy up in clothes that are much more appropriate for your comfort level. At this point in your friendship, Jungkook doesn’t even question it when he sees you march into his room, fishing through his closet and drawers for your favorite matching set of his, this grey pair that he’s worn so much it still smells like him even after it’s come right out of the wash. 

He only stares back in awe when he sees you emerge from his bedroom wearing them. 

“Ready?” You ask, breaking him from his resolve.

Jungkook blinks wildly from where he’s seated on his dinky old couch, as if to clear his vision. “What? Oh, yeah, I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Then hurry it up, Mister,” you demand, sitting down next to him and curling into his body. It’s instinctual, at this point, wanting to be close to him. To feel the warmth of his body radiate upon your own. To feel his chest beneath the palm of your hands, his arm wrapped around your side. “All good?” You ask, looking up at him. 

Jungkook looks down at you, and you swear, you’ve never seen him more at home. “Always, when I’m with you.”

The movie is predictably good and predictably sexist, but your favorite part by far is when Jungkook reaches around on the coffee table in front of you for his camera, holding it up to his eye and snatching a picture of the television, the film grainy like an old polaroid, faded like an antique photograph. He clicks away at the scene in front of him before turning on you, the lens so close to your face you’re almost certain all he’ll manage to capture is your nose. You laugh, pushing yourself away from him as he snaps, and snaps, and snaps, image after image after image, until his camera battery has died and there’s no more room left on his card. 

“Guess I’ll have to charge this thing, then,” Jungkook sighs as he declares his camera dead, screen black. 

“You aren’t going to include any of those, are you?” You ask, an eyebrow raised. 

Jungkook shrugs. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“Don’t you have enough?” You deadpan, thinking back to the hundreds of photos Jungkook must have taken of you over the past week, and even more that you don’t know about. There’s certainly no shortage of them in his current camera inventory. That’s for sure. 

“Never,” Jungkook says wickedly. He stretches out an open arm, and you don’t have to think twice about falling into it, letting him wrap you up in his hold, curling into his body. 

The black television screen crackles before you, DVD player waiting for Jungkook to turn it off. There’s no need for either of you to look up at each other. Not when you’re strung together like this. Not when you already know exactly where he is. 

“It’s due on Monday, right?” You inquire softly, fatigue slowly overtaking you. 

“Yeah. I’m almost finished, just have to do some curating and editing.”

“I want to see it.”

“What? My project?”

“What else?”

“It’s just a project, it’s not that exciting.”

You pull away from him at that, looking up at him with furrowed brows and scrunched-up nose. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that exciting’? It’s your photography project. You’ve spent a whole week working on it.”

“Yeah, but it’s just you, you know?” Jungkook objects. “Like, you know what you look like. It’s just going to be a bunch of photos of you, like I said it’d be.”

“That’s exactly why I want to see it,” you say like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You took pictures of me for a whole week. Don’t you want to share them with me?”

“If you really want some of the photos, I’ll send you some, but you don’t need to see the whole portfolio, you know? It’s just for my professor,” Jungkook says stiffly, surprisingly resistant. What’s the big deal? It’s not like there will suddenly be new information about you that you didn’t know before. You want to see what Jungkook has been working tirelessly on this entire week. Where’s the harm in that?

“Why are you getting so hung up on this? It’s just photos,” you say with a frown. 

“Why are you getting so hung up on this?” Jungkook challenges back. 

You sigh, sinking back into him, defeated. Even a little disagreement like that is enough to knock the wind out of the both of you, so you decide not to push it much further. 

“Do you promise to show me eventually?” You ask, hopeful.

Jungkook pauses for a moment, and you almost expect him to say no, considering how protective of his work he’s being. “One day,” he declares. “One day, I will.”

And that’s good enough for you. 

You lose track of how much time passes after that, feeling your eyelids getting heavy as the warmth of his body envelopes you, drowsiness settling in. There’s just something about this moment, right here, right now, that makes you want to fall asleep.

You’re on the verge of slumber when Jungkook’s voice breaks through.

“Why didn’t you think your date would work out?”

“I don’t know,” you respond sleepily, barely even opening your eyes. “It just felt wrong.”

“How do you know what feels right?”

Good question. Perhaps if you had the energy, you’d answer it. But right now, all you can think about is how cozy you feel in Jungkook’s hoodie and sweatpants, how the scent of him surrounds you, that indescribable, boyish aroma that can’t be replicated. Right now, all you can think about is how easily your body molds into his, like two pieces of a puzzle meant to fit together. Right now, all you can think about is him. 

The worst part about each and every week is when it ends. Because the end of one week signifies the beginning of the next, and when you’re in university, the beginning of the next week means a whole new batch of assignments that you have to complete and a whole new batch of due dates to meet. 

So, yeah. The weeks have been blurring together for you lately. But what else could you expect?

Sunday evening, as per usual, finds you right back where you always are: Jungkook’s apartment. 

The two of you have been regularly getting together on Sundays to study, ever since you both realized you work significantly harder when motivated by the other, determined to finish all of your work on time so you can spend the rest of the night fooling around by mixing Monster with as many unhealthy drinks that you can possibly think of. And it’s been working out well for the both of you so far. Jungkook powers through his coding assignments and you whiz through your readings, intent on keeping up to date with your tasks so they don’t all come crashing down on you at the end of the semester. 

Studying with Jungkook has always been easy, largely due to the fact that it’s the one allotted time during your friendship where the both of you deem it best to not speak to each other for the sake of your work. The moment one of you opens your mouth it’s over, so you sit on opposite ends of the room and pretend that the other person isn’t even there. 

Jungkook told you earlier today that he had already finished his photography portfolio, so there would unfortunately be no sneaky glances over his shoulder to see if you can catch a glimpse of one of the pictures. Which is fine by you, you’re just a little embarrassed that Jungkook had told you this outright. Not that you were planning to do exactly that, but you were planning to do exactly that. 

Part of you. more than anything, wants to know why Jungkook won’t just show you himself. Why he’s being so secretive, so protective of his photography project when you both know already exactly what’s in it. For God’s sake, he just spent the entire week taking photos of you non-stop. It’s like not as if any part of this is a mystery to either of you. What more could he have done?

Whatever. You aren’t going to force it if he doesn’t want you to. You suppose that maybe one day, far into the future, he’ll finally decide that the time is right. 

“I’m so fucking tired,” Jungkook declares lifelessly as he gets up from where he’s sitting on your bed, dead inside. “I need a break.”

“Are you going to the kitchen? Can you make me some tea, please?” You ask him, looking up from the laptop on your desk. 

Jungkook nods wordlessly before disappearing out of the room. 

You and Jungkook’s best study practice to maximize productivity is the taking of each other’s cell phones so that the other cannot be tempted to look at it. It’s worked plenty of times before and will probably work plenty of times again, because as they say, out of sight, out of mind. 

Unfortunately, it’s hard to pretend that your phone is out of sight when it’s been buzzing on your bedside table for the past five minutes, and your fingers have been itching to get over there and answer your damn notifications. So, while Jungkook is out of the room, you decide to cheat a little by dashing over there just to see what the heck is going on in the rest of the world. 

As it turns out, nothing much. Just Maisie texting you as she binges yet another television show, giving spoiler-free updates anytime anything remotely dramatic happens. You have a couple of new emails as well. 

The thing that actually catches your attention the most, is Jungkook’s laptop screen. 

There’s just a Word document open on it, but a Word document is a far cry from his usual coding program or Photoshop. Because you can’t help yourself, you peer over to see what he’s written. 

What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?

Hard to say that I have. I don’t think I learned something about myself so much as I confirmed what I already knew, cementing it as a real thought in my brain, rather than just a daydream. Nothing changed in the way that my best friend and I interacted, and I can almost confirm that nothing changed in the way that she feels about me, just as nothing changed in the way I feel about her. I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her. 

What?

Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?

Yes. Not as a reference but to remind myself of this very moment in my life—a single week over the course of my life that I felt was worth saving. I imagine that there will come a time, far in the future, where my best friend and I have separated a little bit, found our own lives and created our own families with our own people. And when that happens, I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 

This feels personal. Maybe you should stop reading. But there’s just one more question left on the page… 

This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?

Yes. If it meant getting to spend more time with her, take more photos of her, see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 

“Y/N?”

You hadn’t even heard the kettle whistling. 

“Jungkook,” you say, breathless, caught red-handed. 

“What are you doing?” He asks, placing your steaming cup of tea down on the desk as he stares back at you in horror, in surprise, in worry, in something. Something that gives you this imminent sense of impending doom. 

“Uh—”

“Were you reading my computer screen?”

It’s not like you could say you were doing anything else. 

“I couldn’t help myself, I came over here to check my phone since it’s been buzzing like crazy and your computer was right there and I just…” you sputter out, thoughts swirling inside your head. 

(I will look back on this project to remind myself of who we used to be. How we used to feel about each other. Maybe, by that point in time, it won’t hurt as much as it does now. 

If it meant getting to see her smile once more, I would do it a thousand times over. 

I guess you could say I learned that I don’t think anything could ever change the way I feel about her.)

“What do you mean, how you feel about me?” You ask, because you can’t help yourself. Because the sound of his voices echoes in your head like the beat of a drum, over and over and over. Because you’re staring back at him and even if he just caught you snooping through his computer you can never be worried when it comes to him. Because everything he has ever done puts you at ease. 

“Y/N, that is private, why would you read something like that?” He asks, each word a sucker punch into your heart. 

“Because I just had to know, okay?” You shout back. “I had to know what you were hiding from me.”

“So you decided to snoop through my computer to see if you could figure it out yourself?” He demands, storming over to you. 

“So you are hiding something?”

“That’s not the point, the point is that—”

“What are you not telling me, Jungkook?” You cry out, watching as he approaches you, dark eyes piercing your gaze. “Why won’t you show me your goddamn portfolio? If there’s really nothing to be afraid of, why are you keeping it from me? I’m your best friend, I’m the fucking subject of your project? Don’t I deserve to see it? Why won’t you show me?”

“Because then you’d know!” Jungkook shouts back, leaving deafening silence in his wake. You look up at him, blinking. In front of you, Jungkook is out of breath, chest heaving. 

He looks so strained. So tired. Like he’s been carrying around this secret for months now, maybe even years, and this is the final straw. This is what has sent the both of you crashing down upon each other. This stupid fucking project. You’ve known Jungkook ever since the beginning of your freshman year, and never before have you seen him so hopeless. 

“Jungkook—?”

“You’d know, goddamnit,” Jungkook says, hand coming up to rub at his forehead, dragging down his cheek. “And I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that.”

“Know what? What would I know?” 

Jungkook closes his eyes. Takes a deep breath. Opens them again. “That I’m in love with you.”

The words drift in between the two of you, hovering in the air like feathers. You see them, clear as day, in front of you, hear them echoing in your head, over and over and over again. Feel the way your blood is pumping, the way your heart is beating. 

“You’re in love with me?” You ask him. 

“I didn’t want you to find out this way,” Jungkook admits. “Or at all, really. But I have been, for a while now.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was afraid that I’d lose you.”

You chuckle, a small, little thing from the back of your throat. “You must have known I’d never let that happen, hmm?”

Jungkook smiles softly. “I was scared. Can you blame me? You’re my best friend.”

“And you are mine,” you remind him. 

“It’s just—” Jungkook begins, like the gates of a dam are opening up. “We’d known each other for so long, and we have such a good thing going as is, always texting and calling and hanging out together, studying together on Sunday nights and seeing each other during the week, and I didn’t want to ruin anything. And then my professor assigned this project, and the only person I could think of to take photos was you, but I didn’t want to ask that of you in case you thought it was weird, but you suggested it anyway so I said yes, but I knew. I knew then that the moment I took one goddamn photo of you it would be obvious, and that if you ever saw you would just know. Stuff like that is easy to pick up in pictures, because a camera is like, tunnel vision for whatever it is you want to focus on most, and that’s you, that’s always been you, so I—”

“Jungkook,” you interrupt, reaching out to him, pressing a soft hand to his cheek. “Just, shut up, okay?”

And then you cup his head in both of your hands, and press a kiss to his lips. A small one, if nothing else, but a kiss nonetheless. You press your lips against his own and immediately you feel the sparks rush through you, this flash of heat that settles into something softer, something sweeter. It ignites and soothes you all at once, like a stray lightning bolt out on the open ocean. Like a single clap of thunder and the pitter patter of rain. 

You press a kiss to his lips and when you pull away, Jungkook’s eyes are closed, lips parted ever so slightly. And for a moment there, you almost think you did the wrong thing. 

But barely a second more passes before he’s scooping you up in his arms and pulling you in close to him, his lips finding yours like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. He holds you tight, hands pressed against the small of your back as he kisses you, warm and fiery and full, as if he can’t get enough, as if this is his only chance. You gasp into it before relaxing in his hold, cold hands on his warm cheeks, body melting at the feeling of him, of him all over you, of his hands and his mouth and his chest, this perfect, solid figure. 

He kisses you and it sends heat shooting through your body, filling you up from the inside out, like your heart has burst and filled your bloodstream with fire, with sparks of warmth that tingle all over. He kisses you, and everywhere his hands press is another sizzle to your skin, an electric shock that makes you giggle into his mouth. 

He kisses you and it feels like a storm has settled, feels like gentle rain after a hurricane, feels like waves crashing against the shore. He kisses you and it is the only thing you can think about. 

By the time you part once more, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Jungkook so blissed out. 

“See?” You point out softly. “Nothing to be afraid of.”

Jungkook looks positively dazed. “I think I need to lie down.”

“Ooh, was I that good?” You tease.

“I’m dreaming.” He shakes his head. “I’m definitely fucking dreaming.”

Jungkook sinks onto your bed, hitting the mattress with a thud. He stares mindlessly in front of him, like his brain needs time to process. 

You smile to yourself. He can have all the time in the world. 

“Is this real?” He mumbles when you sit down next to him, press another kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Are you real?”

“Just like you,” you promise him. “I didn’t know this is what we had been missing, all this time.”

“It wasn’t missing,” Jungkook assures you. “It was just hidden.”

“I love you,” you whisper, watching him swallow the words like a glass of wine. “I think I always have. You just needed to say it first.”

“Oblivious as always.” Jungkook grins, smiling against your lips. “But I’m glad. If this is what it would take, then I’m glad.”

“You wouldn’t change anything?” You ask him, eyes wide and curious. 

It’s hard to know how long you and Jungkook have been secretly pining over each other. Hard to know how long Jungkook has known that he’s loved you, how long it’s been since you started to feel the same, even if subconsciously. It’s hard to know how long you would have kept going if not for this project. It might have been months. Years. Years that Jungkook was willing to spend holding back, if only it meant keeping you by his side. 

“No,” Jungkook says like it’s the easiest answer in the world. “I have you now. Why would I?”

What did you learn about yourself through this assignment? How do you think you’ve changed?

Previously, I had responded to this question by saying that I hadn’t learned anything, and felt that nothing changed in my life. Then, some things happened. And after those things, I learned that I am the luckiest man alive. To know my best friend is one thing. To love her is a privilege. To have her love me back is nothing less than a miracle.

Do you think you’ll ever look back on this project, whether it be as a reference or a memory?

Yes. Every day for the rest of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been as thankful to receive a homework assignment as I am, right now. I owe everything to this project. It is the reason I have her. 

This assignment forced you to create an entire portfolio, from scratch, using a subject you would have to regularly schedule time with. It was demanding. But, that said, would you ever do this again?

Yes. I want to take photos of her for the rest of my life. I want to save every memory we ever share together. So that far into the future, we can look back on them together and say, “Remember that?”

↳ links are broken, but don’t forget to message me with any thoughts or feedback!

[therealvinelle]

I love your takes on twilight, do you have recommendations for other books?

Sure!

I'll divide this into authors, titles, and playwrights, since there are some authors I blanket recommend, and reading a play is very different from reading a book.

Also, wrote this one on the fly so there are probably many I missed, but now you have recs.

Authors:

Agatha Christie Christie is remembered by most for her ability to create compelling mysteries and zany detectives, but she had many other qualities. Chiefly among them, her ability to create amazing characters. Recommended works: And Then There Were None. Ten seemingly random people are gathered on an island, and start dying one by one. Crooked House. The usual Christie dysfunctional family, one of my favorites. One of Christie's as well. Curtain. Poirot finds the perfect murderer. Ordeal by Innocence. Two years earlier, a murder was committed. The victim's son was convicted of the crime, and hanged in spite of his insistence that he has an alibi, guys!! Totes!! Well, cut to present day, and the alibi hears about this case, realizes "whoopsie doo, that was me, wasn't it. Well I better tell the family they sent their brother to the gallows and the culprit is still alive and most likely one of them. I love doing good deeds like that. :)" The Mirror Crack'd. One of Christie's later novels, this one is among my favorites for its character creation. It has a very good sideplot of old lady detective Miss Marple finally getting the kind of old where she's not just a zany old lady, but old as in can't live alone and people tell her all the things she can't do, and she's furious about it.

Amalie Skram Radical feminist 19th century realist author. Particular titles I recommend include: Forraadt (Autobiographical novel about a young woman completely unprepared for the horrors of marriage. Places a magnifying glass on the hardships upper-class woman had to endure in their marriage) Professor Hieronimus (A woman reluctantly agrees to submit herself to an asylum, as she has been very stressed lately. The psychiatrist proceeds to gaslight her into thinking she's crazy, her husband believes the psychiatrist over her, she realizes she's not getting out anytime soon. Also autobiographical, because Skram's life was terrible.) Hellemyrsfolket (Follows an impoverished family in Bergen. Asks the question of whether poor life choices are the fault of society or the individual. For instance, first novel, the patriarch has stayed sober and hard-working against all odds, he'll keep this family afloat or so help him god. The novel proceeds to break his spirit.) Skram's translated works might be hard to get your hands on because to my knowledge she's not well known outside of Norway.

Philip K. Dick Hard sci-fi author. Insanely talented man, the kind of mind I aspire to have. A Scanner Darkly (an undercover policeman develops a drug problem and an identity crisis) Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (Features the age-old question of where real ends and synthetic begins)

Victor Hugo VERY loquatious. However, he's so charming when he babbles on and on that you kind of just have to love him for it. I can recommend: Quatre-vingt-treize (historical novel, set during the French revolution.) Les misérables (about miserable French people.)

Titles:

Albertine by Christian Krohg This realist novel about a young, honest woman whose downwards spiral leads her to prostitution sparked a debate about the treatment of prostitutes in Norway and led to changed legislation in their favor.

American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis Not for the faint of heart, but if you think you can do it then knock yourself out with this insane book.

Candide by Voltaire A satirical anti-war, anti-everything novel about a very candid man named Candide, who travels the world and finds that it's a ridiculously, over-the-top awful place. He remains optimistic through it all.

Coraline by Neil Gaiman Delightfully eerie story about a girl who discovers a sinister world almost identical to our own.

Dune by Frank Herbert Excellent, and while I haven't seen the Villeneuve film yet every interview I've read has given me the strong suspicion that the spirit of the book was lost on him. Read the book.

Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman Not a perfect novel, but god it's utterly enjoyable. Impossible not to have a good time reading this.

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman One of the few YA fantasy series I've read that I wholly and unabashedly loved. Inspired by Milton's Paradise Lost, featuring very interesting religious themes.

Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams SO MUCH FUN. No point in summarizing in part because I can't, this is just a fun, fun, quintology in three parts. If you like my sense of humor you'll love Hitch Hiker's Guide. It's a longer read, though.

Jerusalem by Selma Lagerlöf Penned by the first ever woman who won a Nobel prize in literature, this generational novel depicts the inhabitants of a Swedish village who form a Christian cult and decide to emigrate to Jerusalem. Inspired by a real events. Features seriously interesting characters, my favorite being the couple where the wife developed really bad post-parture depression and wound up committing infanticide, then when she gets out of prison the husband is waiting for her. "I still love you, babe. Let's have new kids."

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov Beautiful prose, excellent use of an unreliable narrator, horrifying story. Strong recommend.

The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde Most people have heard of this one already, so I'll just say that it's a deeply funny book. Dorian Gray is awful, just awful, but delightfully so. Shoutout to poor Sybil Vane.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee Told from the point of view of a little girl, her sweet childhood takes a dark turn when a white woman is raped and a black man gets the blame.

Playwrights:

Euripides. He's the mastermind behind Medea and Bacchae, both of which I strongly recommend.

Henrik Ibsen. A master of writing about the ugliness just beneath the surface. Enemy of the People (Spielberg's movie Jaws is loosely based on it!), Vildanden, and Peer Gynt.

Ludvig Holberg. Erasmus Montanus: Rasmus Berg (Berg meaning "Hill" in Norwegian. VERY normal name.) returns from university, and he is Learned™ now so you may now refer to him only as Erasmus Montanus. He proceeds to be too intellectual to function throughout the play.

Shakespeare. Yeah yeah I feel like a tool, but... he's good damnit. Though my recommendation for him would be to watch a filmatization, as the language can be rather dense. In my experience it's better to know what happens in the play from watching it performed first, before you can really get much out of reading it. The Hollow Crown is a good filmatization of his king trilogies, The Merchant of Venice with Jeremy Irons is amazing, and Baz Luhrman's Romeo and Juliet remains the best Romeo and Juliet film I've seen. Also, sidenote - if English isn't your first language, DON'T make the same mistake I did of reading a translation, thinking that'll be easier.

Sophocles. Wrote the Oedipus Rex trilogy.

Other recs that come to mind are the Old Testament (there's nothing so fascinating as reading stories that date back three thousand years that have shaped our history) and The Cheese and the Worms by Carlo Ginzburg (a scholarly work outlining how an Italian miller named Menochhio formed his own cosmology).

Tagging @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin in case she wants to add to this.