#life in the world to be given kudos for doing the right thing.
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daebelly · 10 months ago
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i simply do not understand the drive of some people to put down any attempts to improve, to get to a 'normal' level of kindness, productivity, healthiness, etc as "the bare minimum," which isn't 'worth praising.' humans respond positively to praise, and continue to do good things when it means good things are said to them or happen to them as a result. this is elementary shit, and it's why people do horrible shit--it benefits them, so they keep doing it. to ignore this simple mechanic in humans is completely asinine and will make just about every effort you make to improve things much harder. does a child learn to love reading if you huff at them and say that it's the bare minimum when they read their first book? does a teenager learn to respect themselves if taking care of themselves gets them seen as preening self-service? does a parent get to learn from their mishandling of their child raising strategies and figure out that they've improved things via positive feedback? or are all of those things 'the least they could do' and not worthy of praise? what a bizarrely cruel, shriveled mentality some people have.
i had initially replied this in response to someone being weirdly mean about someone fixing their parenting, but i figure it fits better as a post because quite frankly i find that mentality exhausting.
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colormepurplex2 · 20 days ago
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Golden Cufflinks | JJK
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▻ Golden Cufflinks ↳ Alpha!Jungkook x Omega!f.Reader ⤜ Best Friend's Fiance, Strangers to True Mates ⤜ A/B/O AU | angst, smut, fluff ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: 11,742 ⤜ Summary: You’ve never given much thought to finding your true mate, firmly believing it’s something that will happen when it happens. But, when you do find him—thanks to a pair of golden cufflinks—it very well could ruin everything. They say not all’s fair in love and war; you just hadn’t expected your best friend’s wedding to be the battleground. ⚠️ Crass language, talk of designation hierarchy, mild talk of misogynistic practices of the past, confessions of cheating(not by main pairing), anger/arguments, kissing, dick sucking, mild cum intrigue, maybe mild breeding kink if you squint, unprotected v. sex, knotting, lots of slick and cum
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Written for @hisunshiine as part of the 2nd Quarter 2023 @bangtanwritershq Awards Season! A/N: Congratualtions, Vanessa. You deserve all the kudos for a job well done during the 2nd Quarter 2023, I hope you enjoy the story!
A special thank you to @downbad4yoongi, @lo1k-diamonds, @moonleeai for the amazing beta services!
Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad
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Nerves flutter in your belly as you gather your belongings from the plastic bin at the end of the rolling conveyor belt on the other side of security. As you walk away, your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you have to juggle your purse and jacket to retrieve it.
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You feel bad for making Hayun, your best friend for as long as you can remember, wait for a response, but you desperately just want to find your gate and have a seat first. Once you find it and settle in at a chair by the big windows looking out on the tarmac, you thumb to her contact.
“If I didn’t love you so much, I’d probably hate you right now for making me wait so long for a response,” Hayun sasses before her voice softens, “Hello, I love you.”
“Love you, too, girl,” you say, unable to help the smile that tilts your lips up. “Sorry, I’ve been MIA for the last few hours. Things have been hectic. I misplaced my passport this morning, but I finally found it under the bed and then missed the hotel shuttle. I had to call a rideshare, but of course, it took them forever to get through airport traffic, and ugh…” you trail off with a sigh. “I’m sitting down for the first time since I woke up this morning.”
Which was approximately four hours ago at this point. Your flight is set to take off less than an hour from now, so you imagine boarding might start soon. You’re not exaggerating when you say it’s been hectic. It was bad enough waking up at 3 AM, but you’re a chronic planner and stickler for time, so missing your flight was the absolute last thing you wanted to happen.
“Oh, babe, that sucks. I’m glad it’s all worked out, though. I really can’t wait to see you!”
The conversation passes quickly, easing your heart and mind as you catch up on the last twenty-four hours. You haven’t seen Hayun in a handful of years. Her career took her to the other side of the world, and yours kept you where you both grew up. The last time you saw her was through a haze of tears at this very airport when she boarded a plane destined for Seoul, South Korea, where she was adopted from at just two years old.
Visiting each other was always something you both talked about. But, as with most things, life just happens, and eventually, you find yourself making that visit you always talked about for reasons you never considered before—like your best friend tying the knot with a guy you’ve never met.
Sure, you’ve seen pictures of him and have heard him talk in the background of most of the phone calls you’ve exchanged with Hayun over the last few years. But, it was never on your friendship bingo card that the next time you’d find yourself seeing your best friend, it would be her at her wedding.
“I gotta go. They’re about to start boarding.”
“I’ll see you when you land. Can’t wait!”
Hayun disconnects the call, and you gather your belongings to prepare to line up in the boarding queue. It will be a long flight, but seeing Hayun again after so long apart will be worth it.
You fiddle with the bracelet on your left wrist, twisting and pinching at the silver moon charm dangling from the thin chain. Hayun has a matching one. They were presents from your parents on the day you were both recognized with your designations; she was thirteen, and you were fifteen.
The dynamics of Alphas and Omegas have long since changed from what it once was. Legend has it that once upon a time, an Alpha and an Omega were closer to their wolf-kin than how the world is now. Thanks to evolution and science, the only things remaining from that time are the more basic bodily functions—scents, knots, and slick, to sum it up.
The crescent charm on your wrist symbolizes your designation—Omega. But being an Omega doesn’t hold much meaning for you. You don’t feel all that special, and it’s not like you’re rare or any more or less capable than the next person. As it stands, you can see at least a dozen other moons jangling from bracelets, waiting to board the same plane you are.
There are also necklaces, tattoos, and other ways to display a designation scattered around the waiting area. The how of it is mostly regional, sometimes generational. The Beta standing behind you in the queue has a teardrop earring dangling from their left ear, and if it weren’t for the pheromone blockers you took this morning, you might be able to smell their unique scent.
You also have your own smell, a scent that is just you. You’ve been told it’s a sweet, citrusy bouquet like lemonade on a hot summer afternoon. However, also thanks to the blockers, it remains suppressed to the point someone would have to make you bleed or press their nose so firmly against your throat it hurts to smell it.
There really is only one thing that a lot of people are envious of when it comes to an Omega’s designation, and that is that they supposedly have an Alpha true mate out there somewhere that will call to their baser nature. It’s such a rare phenomenon these days that it might as well be part of the legends of old, too.
The bottom line is that no one cares about subgenders anymore; it doesn't matter whether your charm is the Omega crescent, the teardrop of a Beta, or the triskelion denoting an Alpha. In fact, you’re pretty sure you could ask the Beta for their earring and offer them your charm bracelet and no one would bat an eye over it.
Though you’d never do that, considering the chain around your wrist isn’t technically yours. The night after you presented as Omega, when you snuck away with Hayun to lay on a blanket under the stars and moon that was so like the charm hanging from your twin bracelets, you giggled as you exchanged them. Her tiny fingers trembled against your wrist as she secured her silver chain around it. You did the same with your own around hers a second later.
It was that night that you both swore always to be friends. No matter what happened in life or where either of you ended up, you would always remain true to one another. So far, your friendship has been unfailing, a constant thread of comfort and light for you both. No matter how long it’s been, the charm still smells faintly of your best friend—a perk of the charms themselves, holding a token essence of their owners. Hers holds a soft lilac and jasmine scent that you’ve always thought complimented your own citrus notes.
The flight attendant scanning boarding passes beckoning you forward breaks you out of your internal reflections. With a full heart and giddy anticipation curling in your belly, you find your seat and settle in.
It’s a long flight, longer than most flights you’ve taken. But when you finally walk off the plane, make it through customs and immigration, and finally empty into the arrivals terminal of the Incheon Airport, you feel immediate relief, and the hours spent in the air don’t seem so bad.
“Hey, over here!” a familiar voice calls out, catching your attention.
You spin on your heel, confusion setting in for just a moment before it’s replaced by another wave of relief and a little of something warmer. Taehyung, Hayun’s adopted brother, swamps you in a giant bear hug that quite literally sweeps you off of your feet.
“Wow, hey. This is a surprise. What are you doing here? Where’s Hayun?”
Taehyung scrunches up his face, letting out a small scoff. “It’s a good surprise, I hope. Something came up, and she had to meet with the wedding planner and caterer at the last minute. She called me and asked if I could pick you up.”
“Oh, okay. Yeah,” you confirm with a smile. “Good surprise.”
It’s no secret that you’ve always been fond of Taehyung. As a baby, you were toddling around with him long before his family adopted Hayun. She ended up being the sister you never knew you needed, even if you were a few years older.
When she moved to Seoul for work, Taehyung ended up being the physical representation that took her place. He flew out a week before you to help her with planning and will stay for a few weeks after you’ve already headed back home. They may have had their differences over the years, but their sibling bond is stronger than petty arguments and rivalries.
“Ready to get on the road? It’s a long drive.”
Hours later, with the rolling countryside and farms dotting the horizon, you discover the fiasco inside your backpack. The bottle of pheromone blockers you packed this morning somehow got shuffled to the bottom of your bag and popped open. The once-powder-filled capsules litter the bottom of your bag, broken open. Pale blue powder coats your things, the mild flower smell of the medicine lingering in the air.
“Fucking hell,” you groan. “Any chance there’s a clinic somewhere between here and where we’re going?”
“Unfortunately, no.” He frowns, drumming his fingers lightly on the steering wheel, making the triskelion signet ring on his index finger glitter in the mid-day sun. “We’d probably have to turn around and head nearly three hours back to get anywhere near a clinic with blockers. I'm told most people don’t use them anymore these days here. Maybe another one of the wedding party might have some you could borrow if you really need them. But, honestly, I don’t see anyone minding if you don’t use them.”
“Most people here don’t use them anymore?”
“Well, yeah, with the progression of equality and things like that. They’re so great here, way more progressive than back home. It’s very common for Omegas to go off of blockers or never even begin them. Laws have been implemented to punish Alphas who can’t control themselves. The responsibility of remaining safe shouldn’t be solely set on the shoulders of the Omega population.”
Talk like that has only recently become popular back home. You’ve heard the speeches and followed the media and the sources, but you suppose after nearly half of your life taking blockers, it just comes naturally to continue to do so.
“Hm, yeah, okay. I guess it’s no big deal, really. As long as you’re sure people won’t mind?”
Taehyung sniffs the air, his nose twitching. “I think you smell great, but just in case not everyone does, if someone says something, then I’ll personally drive all the way back to the city and pick you up some,” Taehyung promises, giving you one of his swoon-worthy smiles.
The crush you once upon a time had on Taehyung threatens to spark anew at the sight of his charming, boxy grin—a grin you would have once done anything to pull from him. But now, it just fills you with warmth and a homey comfort.
You give him a smile of your own. “Deal.”
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“Hayun!”
Her squeal of delight when she turns around and catches sight of you echoes through the open space of the dimly lit bar of the bed and breakfast where the wedding is taking place.
It’s a cozy space with rich dark wood accents and royal blue velvet upholstery. Brass gas lamps and light fixtures give the entire lounge an upscale and chic atmosphere that you know is right up Hayun’s alley.
The few hours you had between checking in at the bed and breakfast and meeting Hayun for her very small—just you and one other person—bachelorette party were spent familiarizing yourself with the grounds.
The ceremony will take place in one of the lavish gardens, and the reception will follow in one of the grand dining halls. For a bed and breakfast, it’s far fancier than any you’ve ever been to. It definitely does not have the mom-and-pop feel that you typically associate with the term ‘B&B’.
“You’re here!” she shrills, throwing her arms around your neck.
Her petite form fits just like it always has against yours. Thick black hair, shorter than the last time you saw it, curls around the rounded lines of her cheeks, and her brown eyes are bright and glisten with happy tears. With her bubbly personality and small, wispy frame, she's always reminded you of a fairy.
You sigh, taking a deep breath and savoring your best friend's soft, floral scent. Thanks to the bracelet tinkling around her wrist, it holds the smallest undercurrent of your sweet citrus. Clearly, she’s not taking blockers; the scents are heavy and delightful. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Hayun sucks in a deep breath that mirrors yours. “Wow, babe, you smell good! Finally gone off the blockers, huh?”
“Uh, kind of,” you chuckle, untangling yourself from her arms. “I brought some, but they broke open in my bag at some point.” You shrug. “Tae said it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.”
“Oh, it’s not. Absolutely not,” Hayun agrees, grinning broadly. “I’ve been off them for years and haven’t had a single issue. Come on, let’s have a drink and catch up!”
You settle in at a table, and it’s not long before Eunseo, Hayun’s other guest, joins you. You’ve heard a lot about Eunseo. Much the same way Taehyung took the place of Hayun for you, Eunseo took your place for Hayun. You half expect to feel some sort of friendship jealousy upon meeting Eunseo for the first time, but it doesn’t come. If anything, you’re immediately fond of the young woman.
The evening carries on, Hayun and Eunseo regaling you with tales from working together and their various adventures around Seoul. Eunseo shows genuine interest in your life back home, seeming eager to hear stories of Hayun’s childhood. She shows a particular interest in Taehyung, asking you in no certain terms more than you think is appropriate to share.
“But you’ve seen it, right?” Eunseo asks. Her elbows rest on the table, and her chin is nestled on her clasped hands, her eyes wide and glassy from the countless glasses of wine she’s had. “I bet it’s huge. Am I right?”
“Ugh,” Hayun groans. “Can we not talk about my brother’s dick. Please.” She makes a gagging sound before slurping down the rest of her cocktail and flagging down a passing waiter for another.
You try to wave off the waiter, but he’s turned toward the bar before you can get his attention. If Hayun has much more to drink, you’re not sure she’ll be able to walk down the aisle tomorrow unassisted.
“I’m just curious. It’s a harmless question,” Eunseo pouts. “Ignore her. Tell me. I just have to know.”
You swirl the straw around in your glass of water before giving Eunseo what you hope is a conspiratorial look. “Well—”
“What?! Ew. Are you really about to answer her? Please, dear god, do not tell me you have seen my brother’s penis. If you’ve seen it—fuck, I might actually puke.”
As much as you probably shouldn’t, you laugh, which earns further protests and obscene noises from Hayun.
“Before you interrupted me, I was going to say that maybe Eunseo should ask him herself.”
Hayun howls a protest, sloshing her new cocktail onto the table as she gesticulates a crude hand gesture in your direction. “Do not. I repeat, do not do that, Eunseo!”
The conversation peters off, Hayun losing herself in another cocktail while Eunseo stares dreamily up at the ceiling.
“I think—hiccup—it's bedtime,” Eunseo slurs.
As if right on cue, a familiar face peeks through the entrance to the lounge. You wave Taehyung down, and he comes jogging across the space to your table. His shirt is rumpled with the top few buttons undone, but his eyes are clear, and you know he’ll be a perfect gentleman.
“Are you sure?” you ask him, pitching your voice low.
“I got this, don’t worry. We finished up a few hours ago anyway.”
Taehyung gives you a warm, private smile before turning to Eunseo. “Hey there, beautiful. Let’s get you on to bed, okay?”
“Where’s my savior?” Hayun asks, frowning after her brother escorting Eunseo from the lounge and back through the front lobby.
“Right here,” you tell her, sliding out of your chair and coming around to her side of the table. “Come on, let’s go.”
It takes you more than twice as long as it usually would to get to Hayun’s room. She leans against the wall in the hall as you dig through her pockets in search of her room key. Once you find it tucked between a few stray bills and her ID, you usher her into the room and deposit her onto the bed.
Her fiance has a room on the other side of the grounds, but after the ceremony, they will both be moving into one of the couple’s suites for the night before jet-setting off to Jeju Island for their week-long honeymoon.
“Am I doing the right thing?”
Hayun’s question catches you off guard. You throw a confused look at her over your shoulder as you rummage through her suitcase in search of something for her to sleep in.
“What?”
She sighs as she rolls over, letting her head hang off the edge of the bed so she can look at you upside down. “Marrying Jungkook. It’s a mistake…so why am I doing it?”
“Hayun…what are you talking about? Jungkook is perfect for you. You guys have been dating for five years, and you told me you’ve never been happier. Where’s the mistake in that?”
The sound Hayun makes is akin to something a wounded animal might make. She flops, flailing her arms and legs like a child throwing a fit.
“That’s the thing, though! I’m happy, but I don’t love him. Oh god,” she cries. “I don’t love him.”
“Hey, hey now.” You abandon the search for sleeping clothes and crawl across the floor until you’re kneeling beside the bed. Smoothing your hand across her forehead, you ask, “Where is all this coming from?”
“He thinks I’m his true mate,” she whispers. The tears leaking from her eyes slide up her face, wetting the edges of her eyebrows before sliding over her forehead and disappearing into her hair. “But I know he’s not mine.”
“Wh—wait, what?” You push up from the floor and move onto the bed, gathering your best friend’s head into your lap so she’s no longer hanging upside down off the side of the bed.
She hiccups a sob, lips trembling as she explains, “He says I’m his true mate, that he knows because of my scent. But he doesn’t smell special to me…how is that possible?”
“Hayun, I don’t—”
“I cheated on him,” she whimpers in confession, cutting off what were going to be your soothing words of affirmation. They sour on your tongue, refusing to be released now.
Your stomach churns at her admittance. “You what?”
“You have every right to judge me. I’m a terrible person. But, when he told me I was his true mate…I panicked. I had to be sure I wasn’t broken, that me not finding his scent special wasn’t just something wrong with me.” Hayun blinks rapidly, trying to clear the tears as they begin to come in earnest. She clutches at the front of her shirt, hand fisting over her heart. “So, I slept with two Alphas that I work with to see if it was any different. I had to be sure. I had to know.”
“Hayun, I-I-I don’t…I’m not—”
“I’m such a fucking mess,” she sobs, curling in on you and pressing her face against your stomach. “I don’t deserve him. I only said yes to marrying him because I don’t want to be alone forever. I can’t be like you. I need someone.”
Her words sting, causing you to flinch involuntarily. You watch as she falls apart in your lap, ultimately giving in to her grief. It’s on the tip of your tongue to call her out on her childish behavior, to set the record straight about your own love life, and to leave her to her wallowing. But…the shaking of her shoulders and soft whines from her remind you so much of a younger and more fragile Hayun—the Hayun of your shared childhoods.
“Shh, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” No matter how you might feel about her actions and the hurtful words she’s spilled, you hate to see your best friend so distraught and broken. “Hey, look at me.”
You wait until her watery eyes peel away from your shirt and meet yours. “Tell me you hate me; it’s okay.”
“Hayun, I don’t hate you. I could never hate you. You made…a mistake, that’s all. You were trying to figure things out. But…Hayun, you…you have to tell him.”
She frowns up at you, her expression sobering. “Tell him?”
“He’s about to marry you, Hayun. That’s a big freaking deal…you have to tell him tomorrow morning before anything else happens.”
The laugh that bubbles from her lips is anything but humorous. “I-I can’t do that! He’ll hate me. He’ll call the wedding off!” She shoves out of your lap and stares at you like you’ve lost your mind.
“If Jungkook truly loves you and says you’re his true mate, I don’t see that happening. But, he deserves to know. You have to know that. Either you tell him now, or he finds out years from now, and then it’ll be so much worse,” you try to reason with her.
“He doesn’t have to know!” she whisper-yells, her tears turning from sad to angry in an instant.
You shake your head, unable to believe what you’re hearing from her. “This isn’t right, Hayun. You can’t go into a marriage with someone with secrets like that!”
“It’s not like it’ll happen again. I’m not going to cheat on him while we’re married. Please,” she begs, her face once more softening into saddened anguish. “I don’t want to lose him.”
“He deserves to know, Hayun,” you whisper, remembering your own keen sting of betrayal from many years ago. There is a reason you don’t date much. “You say it won’t happen again?” you ask, trying to buy yourself some time to process everything Hayun just told you.
Her silence is deafening, and you think she’s about to not answer you the way you hope, but, finally, she murmurs, “No. Never. I swear it.”
“Okay. Okay, good. But, he still needs to know.”
Just because you’ve never actually met Jungkook, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for him. He’s the one who puts a smile on Hayun’s face when you can’t. He’s the reason she’s as happy as she is…or has been? Now, you’re not so sure. But, what you are certain about is that Hayun is far too drunk right now to know up from down and is just having a moment of raw vulnerability.
“Are you going to tell him?” she asks, voice a hoarse whisper.
You chew your bottom lip for a moment before slowly shaking your head. Thinking about it, even if you didn’t care for Jungkook, he still deserves to know on pure principle. “No. I won’t tell him.” She lets out a soft sigh of relief, which has you tacking on, “Because it’s not my place to tell him, it’s yours.”
“Yeah,” she mumbles. “Okay.” She doesn’t say anything more beyond that, falling into a listless stupor, all of her energy sapped from the quick argument and endless cocktails from the bar.
After you wrestle her out of her clothes and put on a long nightgown, she tucks easily into bed. You leave a glass of water on the bedside table for her, then exit the room and head to your own.
A pang of uncertainty refuses to quell in the pit of your stomach. You toss and turn most of the night, falling into a fitful sleep just before the sun begins to kiss the horizon. It’s going to be a long day…a battle of wills you never saw coming.
🥀🥀🥀
Jungkook
Today is the big day, and Jungkook couldn’t be happier. Nothing could possibly bring him down from the high he’s feeling. Not even the fact that he is unable to find the cufflinks that were passed down to him by his father.
“Did you check the pockets of all your pants?” Jimin, Jungkook’s best friend, asks from where he’s lounging in one of the chairs on the other side of Jungkook’s hotel room.
“Yes,” he mutters, dumping his entire suitcase onto the bed to rifle through it once again. “I remember putting them with the pile of Hayun’s—oh fuck.”
“That’s great,” Taehyung sighs. “So my sister probably has them.” He checks his watch. “We don’t really have time to go on a scavenger hunt through her room. Jimin and I are supposed to meet the photographer to get started on some of the bride and groomsmen shots.”
Jungkook purses his lips and rakes his hands through his hair as he thinks of a solution. “I’d go look myself, but what if I run into Hayun between here and there? She specifically requested that we not see each other until the ceremony.”
Taehyung hums lightly. “I think I have an idea. The other girls don’t meet for pictures until after we’re done. So…yeah…okay…done,” he murmurs, tapping away at his phone screen. “If they’re in Hayun’s things, they’ll be delivered to you soon.”
“Thanks, Taehyung, you’re a lifesaver.”
Minutes later, Jungkook finds himself alone, Taehyung and Jimin having gone to meet with the photographer. Somewhere out there, beyond the confines of his room, his fiancee is probably smiling and laughing as she poses in front of the camera. If only Jungkook could see through walls. He’d give anything for even just a little glimpse of his bride-to-be.
When Jungkook first met Hayun almost six years ago, he nearly tripped over his own feet trying to track her scent. The meeting he was heading for was instantly forgotten, replaced by a visceral need to discover the source of that titillating aroma that had his hindbrain firing on all cylinders.
Never before had Jungkook experienced something so…primal. It was both alarming and utterly fascinating. Amongst the harsh scents of car exhaust and the warm notes of roasted coffee, Jungkook wove his way through the crowd on the sidewalk to the doors of a little cafe; Hayun was inside, ordering a matcha tea to-go, and the rest was history.
Jungkook sighs, forcing himself to stop daydreaming and fiddling with his shirt's empty cuffs and focus on putting together the rest of his suit.
The scent hits Jungkook a moment before the sound of a soft knock reaches his ears. He’s standing in the ensuite bathroom, mid-skin care routine. Wiping his wet fingers off onto a towel, he draws in a deep breath to confirm the aroma wafting to him from beyond the door of his room.
A roguish smirk quirks up one side of his mouth as he exits the bathroom and moves across the room. Unable to help himself, he opens the door. “Hayun,” he chuckles, fingers wrapping around the doorknob, “I thought we agreed that you…you are not Hayun.” The words tumble from his suddenly numb lips, rasping past his too-dry tongue.
“Umm, no. Not Hayun, sorry. You’re Jungkook?”
The woman standing before him is clearly not his fiancee. The woman’s purple gown is familiar, Jungkook knowing it’s what Hayun chose for her attending party. You’re a friend of Hayun, clearly, yet you smell exactly like Hayun…if Hayun smelled like Hayun times a thousand. The fragrance slams into his olfactory system, and the edges of his vision grow blurry a moment before he shakes his head and steadies himself with a hand on the doorjamb.
“Yeah,” he whispers, voice raspy with his suddenly dry throat. Revelations pounding him right between the eyes, washing through his body and keying right into his most basic of instincts.
Jungkook watches as your nostrils flare, and he knows it’s in that moment that you register his cedar and lavadin scent; the scent that marks him for what—who—he is.
“Jungkook,” you repeat his name, and he wants to howl with delight at how it sounds coming from your lips. “No. You can’t…it’s not—” your voice cuts off a second before you drop the small, black leather box you were holding and turn, disappearing in a flash of violet tulle and silk.
🥀🥀🥀
“Stop! Wait, please!” The shout of your name follows you down the hall, but you’re too focused on getting as far away from him and the feelings threatening to overwhelm you as you can.
“No, no, no,” you chant under your breath as you move as swiftly as the slippered feet will allow you to go without tripping yourself up.
It’s clearly not fast enough. It only takes a few frantic beats of your heart before a firm grip on your elbow draws you to a stumbling halt. The touch is electric, and your skin flushes with goosebumps at the heated contact.
“Don’t run,” Jungkook pants. “Please.”
You wretch your arm from his grip and whirl on him, a sharp remark ready on the tip of your tongue. Only, it dies there, never to be uttered, as your heart thumps violently in response to the look on his face—pure anguish.
Your voice is thread-thin as you finally manage to get words out, “This can’t be happening.”
Jungkook’s brow twitches, his lips tucked between his teeth. His emotions are stark on his face, and the conflict is raw and bare to you. Clearly, he’s warring the same as you, maybe even more so.
“Why do you smell like Hayun?” he asks, his voice soft in contrast to the raging storm you see in his eyes. “Why do you smell more like my true mate than she even does? Is this some wicked, cruel prank?”
You shake your head, intentionally drawing a breath through your mouth in hopes of saving your nose from another assault of his perfect scent. But, instead, his flavor laces over your tongue and slides down your throat to sit like a knot in your belly. You might as well have licked a stripe up his neck for all the good that did.
“I-I don’t know,” you choke out, trying to keep the pool of saliva under your tongue from dripping down your chin.
Jungkook steps closer to you, leading with his nose. He sniffs the air around you and something must not sit well with what he discovers because he rears back and bares his teeth. “Of course,” he mutters as his eyes drop to your left wrist.
Your eyes track his movement as he scoops up your wrist in a loose grip, and you realize it’s the bracelet there that has his attention. Everything clicks into place, and you feel like the faintest breeze could sweep you away with how lightheaded you’re feeling at this moment.
“We traded,” you whisper as if speaking low enough means the admission won’t utterly destroy the world as you know it.
“She’s not my true mate,” he states, voice as low as yours, fevered and quiet. “You are.”
Those words punch you in the chest, nearly taking you to your knees. If it weren’t for the hold Jungkook has on your wrist, you’re sure you’d be in a heap on the floor. As it is, he catches his other arm around your waist as you sway on the spot.
“Y-you shouldn’t.” Your protest is stilted, the words feeling robotic and unnatural as you gingerly press a hand against the arm that’s angled around your ribs. It was your intention to push his touch away, but the most you accomplish is flexing your fingers against the smooth cotton covering his thick bicep.
Somehow, you find yourself back in the room you had fled from just a few minutes ago. Jungkook settled you on the bed and is now pressing a chilled water bottle into your hands.
He kneels before you, headless of putting wrinkles in his black dress slacks. He’s wearing a thin white undershirt, his starched white button-up undone over it. The cuffs of the sleeves flop as he brings his hands into his lap and picks at the edges of his thumbnails.
Your eyes rove the room, catching on the black leather box still sitting on the floor by the door where you dropped it. Inside the box is nestled a pair of golden cufflinks—a pair you now understand have been passed down through the generations of Jeon men.
Absently, you press your thumb to your phone, unlocking it to reveal the text message that has irrevocably changed your life forever.
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If you had known Taehyung’s text message requesting help would have led you to where you are right now, you’d probably have ignored it.
Yet, at the same time, if you had, you’d probably have had this revelation with Jungkook in the middle of the ceremony, and it would have caused all sorts of untoward chaos. No, it’s far better that it’s happening now instead of later. Maybe you can get ahead of this and fix it somehow. Though…
“Hey? You okay?” Jungkook interrupts your thoughts. “Fuck, that’s a stupid question. Sorry.”
“Huh? Oh. Umm…yeah. I don’t—what do we do now?” You turn your phone over, finger ghosting over the power button to lock the screen once more.
Jungkook sighs, and you can’t help watching the rise and fall of his shoulders, framing the swell of his defined chest with the action. He’s an exquisite specimen of masculinity, and even if it weren’t for the musky notes of his scent that mark him as your true mate, you’d find him devastatingly attractive.
“We need to tell Hayun. I c-can’t…I can’t marry her. Not when I’ve found—” he cuts off, wincing as his voice breaks. “I should go and find her. Now, before this can go any further. I’m sorry. I’ll, uh, I’ll find you later, okay?”
“Wait,” you call after him. He stops halfway to the door and glances back at you over his shoulder. “Shouldn’t we tell her together?”
Jungkook chews the inside of his cheek a moment, his eyes flicking over your face as he thinks through your suggestion. Slowly, he nods. “Yeah, maybe that’s for the best.”
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There is palpable tension between you and Jungkook as you follow behind him out of the main building. He texted Jimin, knowing he’d be the most reliable with his phone on him, asking where the photos were currently taking place.
It only took a few minutes for Jimin to respond that they were almost finished but were currently capturing some group shots on the walking path by the lake on the backside of the property.
You’re vaguely aware of where the lake is located, having given the map of the grounds that was posted on the backside of your room’s door a cursory look the day you arrived. It’s a relatively short distance, yet it feels like miles with the weight of pure dread sitting firmly on your shoulders.
At least it’s not a feeling you’re experiencing alone. Jungkook is right there with you, and you can clearly see the unease in the stiff way his body moves. The tips of his fingers twitch back in your direction every few steps like he’s fighting off the urge to slip them between your own.
The first person you catch sight of is Yoona, the photographer. She’s squatting in the grass, her large DSLR camera held up to her face, as she captures candid moments of Hayun, Taehyung, and Jimin repositioning themselves along the lake's edge.
Your heart squeezes hard at how beautiful Hayun is in her form-fitting silk ivory, off-the-shoulder wedding gown, the lacy bell sleeves fluttering around her hands. Her head is thrown back, the peel of her carefree laughter carrying to you and further crumbling your soul into a million pieces. You ache, not just for the desire to draw closer to your true mate, but for the inevitable aftermath of what is about to happen.
Taehyung is the first to notice you and Jungkook. The smile on his face slowly disappears, replaced by a concerned frown. Hayun catches his expression and follows his line of sight. Her gaze sears into you, and you feel like you might combust into a cloud of ash at any second with the irritation contained in her pretty brown eyes.
“What’s going on?” Hayun exclaims, throwing her hands up in a frustrated manner as she stalks towards you and Jungkook. “It’s not time for your photos yet,” she tells you before her eyes swing to Jungkook. “What happened to not seeing me before the wedding? That was your rule!”
“Hayun, we need to talk.”
“Talk about wh—” she cuts off, her question turning into a gasp. Your wide eyes flick to you. “You told him?”
“What? No!”
Your protest rings out at the same time that Jungkook says, “She’s my true mate.”
A breeze kicks up, sweeping from behind you and tossing errant strands of hair across Hayun’s forehead. You’d give anything for the power to pluck the wind from the air, shove it back…keep it from showering her with yours and Jungkook’s combined scents—a blatant confirmation echoing the words Jungkook just let loose.
Hayun stiffens. Her jaw goes rigid, and her face pales as her nostrils flare. It’s a moment that will be forever written across the band of your friendship. Betrayal flashes through her eyes before morphing into something akin to somber resignation.
“Hayun,” Jungkook begins. “I don’t—we didn’t…I’m sorry. What do we do?” He spreads his hands out in front of himself in a helpless manner.
By this time, Jimin and Taehyung have come up from behind Hayun, faces wary as they take in the scene with growing clarity. You look to Taehyung, hoping he can see the silent plea in your eyes.
“Explain,” Hayun says simply. Despite how collected she seems, you can see the subtle tremble in her hands and the way the muscles in her neck continue to flex and strain as she clenches and grinds her teeth.
Jungkook launches into recounting the events that brought you to his room and broke the proverbial dam. “We—we had no idea. I swear this is the first time we’ve ever met, and gods, the bracelets…” Jungkook trails off, a pained sound rumbling from his chest.
“Is this a joke?” Taehyung asks accusingly, and it’s like a barb to your heart.
“We wouldn’t do that.” Your croaked statement draws Hayun’s attention.
Hayun sniffles, her chin jerking a little higher into the air. “My nose tells me one thing, but my heart tells me another. Did you know about this last night? Is that why you pushed so hard for me to tell him?” The last part is whispered, meant only for you, which hurts even more.
“Hayun, no! You know that’s impossible. I couldn’t have known.”
“Tell me what?” Jungkook asks, having heard despite her whisper, his eyes swiveling between you and Hayun.
You shake your head at him, not wanting to throw further fuel on the fire. “Hayun, please, believe me.”
A pregnant moment full of thick tension passes before it fizzles, and Hayun shakes her head, not in a dismissive fashion but in gentle acceptance. “I believe you,” she tells you. “I guess…I guess there won’t be a wedding in four hours unless you two want…” She trails off, a bittersweet smile tugging at her cherry red painted lips.
Jungkook blanches, wide eyes landing on you. “What? Us? No. I mean, sorry…but—”
Hayun holds up her hand, quelling Jungkook’s flustered response. “I was teasing, Koo, trying to lighten the mood. Um,” she pauses, absently twisting the diamond engagement ring around her finger before slowly slipping it off and closing a fist around it. “Can we talk, though? There’s something I needed to tell you today anyway.”
“Okay,” Jungkook says wearily.
“Tae, do you mind…?” Hayun asks, not even having to fill in the blanks. Her brother instantly steps into his role as protector and savior.
“Don’t worry about anything. I’ll make some phone calls,” Taehyung assures her before grabbing Jimin’s arm and starting back down the walking path.
“I’ll just—” you thumb over your shoulder in the direction Tae and Jimin just disappeared in “—be in my room.”
“Wait,” Hayun calls, pulling your retreat up short. “Come here.” She opens her arms, her hands opening and closing in grabby motions. “Please.”
A sob cracks from your throat as you throw yourself at her, wrapping your arms around her neck. “I’m so sorry, Hayun. I’m so sorry.”
“Hush. None of that. This isn’t anything we could have predicted or stopped from happening. If anything, maybe this is life’s way of getting back at me for what I did to him,” she whispers in your ear. “This is how it’s meant to be.”
Hayun smoothes a hand over your back and releases you. She steps back, using the back of a finger to lift the tears from your cheeks, and gives you a watery smile.
You’re not sure you can speak without completely losing yourself, so you just give her a tight nod and continue back on your way down the path. A part of you wants to hear what she has to say to Jungkook, to be there to soothe any hurts or aches…which is a startling realization that you’d not just tend to Hayun but to Jungkook, too. That internal, visceral part of you yearns to turn on your heel and…protect what’s yours.
It’s an odd revelation to think of Jungkook as yours. Well, yours unless either of you reject the bond. Though, that thought makes your stomach pitch and roil. You have to trail a hand along the wall in the hall leading to your room to keep yourself from curling over your abdomen at just the idea.
Once back in your room, you’re unsure what to do with yourself, so you absently start to gather your belongings and pack them up. Every few minutes, you find yourself pausing to stare at the door, ears pricking at the slightest sound from beyond it.
You’re not sure what you’re expecting. Whether it’s Hayun coming to your room so the two of you can cry together or Jungkook coming to claim y—uh, you shove that thought aside quickly because now is not the time. At. All.
The time for the wedding comes and passes without a single knock on your door nor a text or call on your phone. You’re tempted to go looking. For what, you’re not entirely sure—an answer, maybe, some sort of direction on what you should do now.
Finally, after hours of sitting in silence with just your thoughts for company, a soft knock sounds at your door. The long hem of your dress nearly trips you up in your haste to make it to the door. It swings open, and for some reason, your stomach drops, the flutter of disappointment heavy and unexpected.
“Hey, beautiful,” Taehyung says, his voice soft and full of emotion. “Mind if I come in?” 
His necktie is loose, and the top button of his dress shirt is undone. There is a tension in his eyes that wasn’t there earlier. It makes your chest ache.
“Sure,” you say, stepping back and letting him into your room.
Taehyung sighs, perches on the end of your bed, and props his elbows on his knees. His chin rests on an upturned fist, his other hand dangling between his legs, clutching his phone.
He opens his mouth, a single word the only thing coming out, “So.”
“So,” you parrot.
“Hayun wants me to take her home…alone. I’m not sure what all she and Jungkook talked about, but I think they’re at least amicable in agreeing that it would be best if he gave her a few days at home alone before they start the process of separating their lives.” You’re not sure if the bitter tinge in your chest is hurt because Hayun isn’t the one telling you this or because now you have to find your own way to the airport. As if reading your thoughts, Taehyung continues, “I can be back in two days, maybe sooner, depending on traffic. Perhaps they’ll let you extend your stay. If not, I can talk to Jimin—”
“No, Tae, it’s okay. I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about me. Just take care of Hayun, make sure she’s okay...as okay as she can be, at least. Fuck.” The last word comes out choked, and you gnash your teeth on the inside of your cheek to keep from letting the angry tears out. You have no right to be angry. Hell, you’re not even sure why you’re angry. It just seems like the easiest emotion to feel right now, the only one that doesn’t leave you feeling like your world is slowly imploding.
“Hey,” Taehyung says, bringing one of his big hands up to cup the side of your face. His thumb prods at the swell of your cheek, causing you to release the tension in your jaw. “Hayun isn’t the only one I’m worried about here.”
“I’m fine—I will be fine,” you amend. “I promise. I think I’m just feeling overwhelmed. I’m mad at myself for ruining Hayun’s big day. I can’t believe this is happening at all. This…this just doesn’t happen. This is the kind of shit you read about in books, it’s not supposed to be real life.”
And there it is, you surmise—the truth of the matter. None of what’s happened makes sense. It honestly belongs on the pages of a book or in a movie script, not in your real life. It still feels surreal. If it weren’t for the subtle, lingering ache you instinctively know is associated with finding your true mate but not allowing yourself to fully accept it, you’d think this was all some elaborate party trick or impractical joke.
Taehyung smiles at you, but the unease in his eyes can’t be masked that easily. “I’m not sure what to say or what to do. You’re right. This isn’t a situation I think anyone was prepared for or ever thought possible, actually. But, here we are…and we have to face it the best way we can.” He pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful. “I'll tell you what: I’ll text Jimin—he’s a good guy, I think you’ll enjoy his company—and ask him to meet you in the lounge. Have a few drinks, wind down, and try to relax as best you can.”
“Sure,” you say lamely, trying to muster up at least a little bit of enthusiasm.
“That’s my girl.” Taehyung offers you another smile, this one not so tense. “Here, I have something for you.” He fishes into his pant pocket and produces a familiar thin silver chain, a tiny crescent moon dangling near one end.
The sight has your spine straightening. “Right, of course.” You quickly thumb open the clasp on the bracelet around your wrist, letting it fall from your skin for the first time since you put it on when Hayun gave it to you all those years ago. It never felt right to take it off…not until now.
Taehyung helps you swap the bracelet with the one in his hand. The metal feels cold against your skin and you immediately miss the subtle fragrance of Hayun’s scent clinging to your wrist. Though, you suppose that’s what has gotten you both into this mess to begin with. Taehyung explains in soft words how Jungkook explained to Hayun about the scent mix-up with the bracelets—such a silly, seemingly insignificant thing…the catalyst to spark such a colossal moment.
“I’m going to get on the road with Hayun, but I’ll call you as soon as we get to her place and check in on you, okay?”
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Sitting at the bar with Jungkook’s best friend seemed like a good idea when Taehyung first presented it to you. But, at the time, you weren’t connecting the dots that Jimin was Jungkook’s best friend. He was just Jimin, the guy that just so happened also to be part of the wedding party that you had met in passing briefly, but he seemed like a good enough person. Now, however, you feel all the awkward tension radiating right between your shoulder blades, emphasized by the silence lingering between the two of you.
You traded in your lilac dress for jeans and a light silk blouse, canvas slip-ons in place of your slippers, yet no matter how comfortable you know your clothing is, you can’t shake the prickling discomfort eating away at the back of your neck.
“Want another?” Jimin asks, nodding to your mostly watered-down rum and coke. It’s barely late afternoon, and as much as Taehyung’s suggestion of a drink sounded like just what you needed, you’ve found yourself not in the mood to drink after all.
“Um, nah. I’m okay, thanks.”
“Cool. Okay. I’ll be right back.” Jimin drums his fingers on the tabletop and pops his lips before giving you a slight head nod and pushing up from his chair.
You watch as he saunters to the long bar, his crescent moon tattoo on the nape of his neck peeking out from the top of his collar, and props his elbows onto the shiny top. His smile is flirty and casual as the bartender, a beautiful woman with long, inky tresses and fiery red lipstick, sidles up in front of him.
They’re too far away for you to hear their conversation, but her tinkling laughter carries across the space, and you know it might be a while before Jimin returns to your table.
Which you’re okay with. Considering you know you’re not exactly pleasant company right now, you don’t blame him one bit. You glance down at your phone, once again reading the last text message Hayun sent you not too long ago.
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Eunseo stopped by the lounge around the same time Jimin showed up. If her smile and lingering hug were any indicator, she clearly had a thing for him. She gave you a small wave goodbye before giving Jimin another hug and heading out. Apparently, she was going to follow Taehyung and Hayun back to Hayun and Jungkook’s place to help Hayun with whatever she needed over the next few days.
Does it hurt that your best friend is relying on someone else, her new best friend? Yes. Do you also understand why? Also, yes, but that doesn’t make the sting hurt any less.
You’re just about to give up and retreat back to your room, which the front desk still hasn’t given you a definitive answer about whether or not your stay can be extended while you wait for Tae, when a shadow falls across your table a second before.
“Do you mind if I sit?” Jungkook asks in a low voice.
He fidgets, threading and unthreading his fingers together while he waits for your answer. The suit he had half on earlier is gone, and in its place is a dark pair of jeans, the knees worn fashionably, and an oversized white graphic t-shirt. Black sneakers peek out from the rounded bottoms of his pant legs.
You clear your throat, forcing your eyes away from his and instead on the glass sitting in a puddle of condensation on the table before you. “Oh, I—uh, I was actually about to go. You’re welcome to the table, though. Jimin was—” You cut off, realizing Jimin is no longer in the lounge at all. “Well, he was here,” you add with a frown.
Jungkook scratches a hand across the back of his neck and gives you a hesitant smile. “Yeah, he texted me. He went…well, that doesn’t matter. Could we, um…can we talk?”
“Yes.” The response is out of your mouth before he even finishes asking. “Please, I think I’d like that,” you say, nodding toward the open seat across from you.
A shaky breath rattles from Jungkook as he eases into the empty seat. “Have you talked to Hayun at all?” he asks after a moment’s hesitation.
“A text message, but that’s all. I’m not sure she wants to talk to me right now.” Needing something to do with your hands, you trace a finger along the edge of the water pooled around the bottom of your glass and use your other to poke more drops on the side of your cup, making them race down to join the growing puddle.
Jungkook nods, his lips pursing thoughtfully. “She told me what happened last night. Her confession.” That draws your attention back to him, and you wait, fingers still on the glass, intent on hearing what he says next. “I thought I’d be angrier finding out the woman I’ve been with for years—the woman I was hours away from marrying—had cheated on me…but I’m not. For the life of me, I’m not mad at her…even though I know I should be.”
“How do you feel?”
Maybe it’s none of your business, but you have to ask.
Blowing out a breath, Jungkook slides one of his hands across the table and, giving you plenty of time to protest or pull away, slowly slides his fingers between yours, effectively joining his hand with yours. It’s the first time hand-holding has felt so intimate yet wholly innocent.
“Relieved, I think,” he finally says. “Grateful, maybe? Hayun was hurt. As she has every right to be, but she said she also felt relief, too. I think, as much as she said she loved me, she was still holding back even in the end.” With a rueful shake of his head, he tacks on, “We were just a disaster waiting to happen, held together only by the thin chain of a bracelet. We would have shattered eventually.”
Jungkook’s eyes drop to where your fingers are entwined with his, trailing up to your wrist to land on the object he just spoke of.
“I’m relieved, too,” you whisper. Your eyes meet his as he glances up, and you’re instantly captivated.
This is the first time you’ve allowed yourself to really study Jungkook. His hair is tousled like he’d been running his hands through it for hours. You suppose he probably had been and wonder if that’s one of his nervous ticks.
The bow of his lips is prominent and draws your eyes. Your gaze lingers on his lips, making small mental notes at everything you see, like the tiny beauty mark under his bottom lip. His straight nose leads you to his expressive eyes, so dark and full of secrets you want to be privy to.
To say Jungkook is handsome would be a gross understatement. You’re not sure if it’s the fact he’s your true mate or just simply a gorgeous being, but he is pleasing to the eyes, that’s for sure.
You mentally kick yourself for thinking such thoughts about your best friend’s almost-husband after everything that has just happened. It’s not in good taste to entertain these thoughts so soon, right? True mate or not.
Yet, you can’t shove those thoughts away completely.
“Where did you go just now?” Jungkook asks, tilting his head and studying you intently.
Not wanting to explain yourself and the thoughts you were just having, you choose to ask him a question instead. “So, what now?”
You’re thankful Jungkook doesn’t push you to answer. He shifts in his seat and withdraws his fingers from between yours.
“I think we start with…” he trails off, a playful smile tugging up the side of his mouth as he holds the hand he pulled back in the air in front of you in offering. “Hi, I’m Jungkook.”
For the first time in what feels like forever, you smile. A laugh escapes you, and you instantly feel a thousand times lighter with that simple action.
As you take his hand back into yours, allowing yourself to truly savor the feel of his skin against yours, you realize that no matter what happens with Hayun or the fact that you live thousands of miles apart from Jungkook…everything is going to be okay and maybe you wouldn’t have ignored Taehyung’s text after all.
🥀🥀🥀
Jungkook, 3 months later
The flight was long but worth it. Jungkook stretches as he climbs out of the Uber he took from the airport. You would have picked him up. In fact, you are supposed to pick him up…just, not until next week. He decided to surprise you by coming early. He hopes you don’t mind.
Time seemed to drag to a near stand-still following that fateful day at the bed and breakfast where he was so sure he’d be joining his life with Hayun’s officially. No one could have anticipated what actually went down that day. But, in the end, he and Hayun parted ways on pleasant terms, and it’s actually thanks to her that he’s here right now, a week early.
Jungkook was worried that with everything that happened, yours and Hayun’s friendship might suffer. But, surprisingly—and thankfully—you guys have been getting on great. Hayun has been looking at work prospects in Thailand but, from what you’ve told Jungkook, is planning to visit you and Taehyung for Christmas.
It’s been three months, and not a day has gone by that Jungkook hasn’t talked to you in some capacity. From the moment he offered to be your ride to the airport, and you agreed, he’s thought about nothing other than getting on a plane and following you. The draw to you is just that strong.
You’ve expressed similar feelings, already having planned a return trip to Seoul next month. Neither Jungkook nor you have really talked about what the future holds or how to even begin to navigate it. But Jungkook hopes that during the week he is here, you can both begin to figure that out.
Giddiness makes his tattooed fingers shake as he reaches out and grasps the brass knocker on your door. He gives it a rap against the thick wood and waits. Jungkook counts the breaths as his anticipation rises. It’s only three and a half exhales before he hears the soft pad of your feet on the other side of the door.
Jungkook can imagine you pressing up onto your tip toes in order to peer through the peephole. He’d pay money to be able to see the look on your face when you see it’s him. Not being able to see your face doesn’t take away from the dopamine rush he gets when the sound of your surprised squeal sounds through the door.
“Jungkook!” Your shout is followed by the frantic sound of you disengaging the locks on your door before you swing it open and launch yourself at him. “What the fuck are you doing here? Oh, my gods! Why didn’t you tell me? You’re here!”
It feels good to laugh, but it feels even better to have you in his arms finally. The brief embrace he shared with you at the airport when he dropped you off was not enough and is what drove him to try and come sooner than planned.
Jungkook savors the warmth of your soft body pressed against his, your arms tight around his neck. Running one of his hands up your spine, he clasps the back of your neck and uses his hold there to angle your head away from his neck so he can look you in the face.
“Surprise,” he whispers. “I couldn’t wait any longer.”
You sigh dreamily, your eyes fluttering closed for a second like you’re savoring the feeling of being in his arms. “Pleasant surprise,” you murmur with a smile on your face.
Jungkook can’t help himself. He wants so badly to know if your smile tastes as good as he thinks it will. The press of his lips against yours causes you to melt against him, a throaty sound escaping around the intrusion of his tongue as he works it between your lips.
“Your taste,” he groans, forcing his mouth away from yours before the allure of you can drive him completely mad. Who is he kidding? He’s already there. “I need more.”
🥀🥀🥀
Those words do something to you.
I need more.
They echo the thoughts you’ve been harboring for the last three months. You’ve ached with those words, desperately willing yourself to be patient and let it happen when it’s meant to happen.
But, fuck, it feels so good to have him in your arms, to have his mouth brushing against yours. He tastes divine, a warm sweetness that compliments the musk of his scent that is slowly wrapping itself around you.
“Take me. Take it all,” you urge, completely baring yourself to him, body, mind, and soul. “I’m yours.”
It’s a frenzy, the frantic discarding of clothing. Your fingers work to free him of his jeans while also helping him with the criss-cross straps of your lounging romper. You don’t care that you’re still standing by your front door, bared down to your underwear. The only thing you’re focusing on now is how Jungkook holds you at arm's length and drinks you in from head to toe.
“You…are…everything.” The way he whispers those words crawls under your skin, rooting itself deep in your being. You feel sexy…desired, and unbelievably empty—your body clenches, the ache deep between your thighs. You’ve never been so turned on from just taking your clothes off before, from whispered words and a heated look.
Jungkook allows you to undress him as slow or as fast as you want. You try to take your time and savor every inch of skin you expose. But, you can barely contain yourself when you get to his jeans, shoving them unceremoniously down his thighs with your eyes locked on the many planes and angles of his toned chest and stomach.
Your fingers ghost over his skin, eliciting goosebumps in their wake as you explore the smooth and lush expanse of his shoulders and down his arms. Without needing to say anything more, he gathers you into his arms and covers your mouth with his once more.
It’s a miracle you make it to your bedroom. But, seeing Jungkook sprawled out on your bed is a sight you’ll never forget, with his lowered lids and bottom lip caught between his teeth. You want to taste every inch of him, from the tips of his ears down to the defined muscles of his calves.
Now, though, your gaze focuses on the front of his tented boxer briefs. The dark grey material has darkened even further, where you can see the distinct outline of the head of his cock. Saliva pools in your mouth.
You crawl on the bed, knees slotting between his, your hands on either side of his hips. With your eyes locked on his, you lean down and mouth gently at the wetness. You moan at the flavor of him, your tongue peeking out to seek more.
“Fuck,” you curse. “You taste so good.”
Jungkook lets out a quick breath. “You can’t say shit like that, baby girl. You’re going to make me lose it.” He flicks his eyes up to the ceiling, his lips moving like he’s sending up a silent prayer, before looking back down at you. “You have maybe three seconds before I can’t hold back any longer and tear that ass up.”
You chuckle softly, pouting out your lips in a faux sullen manner. “Yes, sir.”
That earns a growl from Jungkook that has heat racing down your spine as you hook your fingers into the band of his Calvin Klein’s and pull them down. He lifts his hips, helping you free him from their confines.
His cock stands so pretty before you, the full heft bobbing against his belly, smearing a pearl of precum against his golden skin. You dive in, licking at the sticky mess before taking the tip between your lips and lavishing your tongue over his slit.
Jungkook fists the sheets, a litany of curses falling from his lips. “Please,” he chokes.
You keep your eyes locked on his as you inch your way down his length, your jaw forcing itself wider to accommodate as much of him as you can. The blunt head of his cock presses against the back of your throat. You take a steadying breath in through your nose before forcing yourself a little further until your throat constricts around him and you have to pull back.
The second your mouth leaves his cock, saliva stringing from your lips to his tip, Jungkook grabs you and hauls you up over him. You laugh, loving the heat emanating from his body as yours covers his.
“What are you doing?” you gasp.
His strong hands land on your hips and tangle in the band of your panties. “I need these off. Please. I need you. I want to feel you…be inside you.”
You want that, too, you realize, your body already primed and begging for it. The sweet, fragrant notes of your arousal saturate the air, mixing with Jungkook’s to paint a picture of hedonism and wanton desires.
The rest of your clothes come off, your bra and panties are tossed to the side, leaving you utterly bare to him. Your inner thighs slide like velvet over his hips as you move your body against his until you can feel the press of the head of his cock against your entrance.
You wrap a hand around his base, angling him perfectly. It’s a slow descent into madness, the lowering of your body onto his. His eyes bore into yours, pouring out everything that has been building to this moment, this pinnacle that will forever throttle you onto a different path for your future—with him. You can feel every perfect inch slide along your walls as they adjust and welcome him. It’s like sliding home; he is the perfect fit for your body, filling you completely.
The pace you set, at first, is languid. An easy rise and fall of your hips as you both learn the body of the other. Jungkook’s hands mold around your breasts, his thumbs caressing over the pert points of your nipples.
“You feel so good,” you tell him, emphasizing your words with a generous roll of your hips. “So much better than I imagined.”
“You imagined it often?” he asks, a teasing tone to his words.
With the amount of teasing photos and videos you’ve shared with each other over the last few weeks, he knows you have. You can tell he’s just giving you a hard time. That’s fine, because you can…
Jungkook throws his head back as you arch yours, letting his cock hit that special place inside that has you both seeing stars. “Fuck!” His hands drop to your hips, landing with a satisfying smack. His grip tightens, dimpling the supple flesh around his fingers. “Can I knot you?” he asks with a breathless moan. You’ve never taken an alpha’s knot. The idea has your body pulsing around his, flooding slick onto his pelvis as you continue to roll your hips. “Fuck, baby girl, do you like that idea? You want to take my knot like a good girl?”
You can’t even form a coherent thought, much less answer him. The only thing that comes out of your mouth is a panting keen, your chin jerking up and down as you frantically nod your want.
Jungkook braces his feet against the mattress and uses his grip on your hips as leverage to thrust upward, sending you forward onto your hands. He’s relentless, pounding into you from below to the point your eyes roll back, and you have to squeeze them shut. Tiny pinpricks of light burst behind your lids as your body coils tighter than ever before.
You cry out as he sends you over the edge, your body careening into an unfathomable abyss of pleasure. The sounds coming from around his cock as it pounds into you are slick and obscene, debauched yet wholly satisfying. 
“Alpha, need your knot,” you mewl, your lips finding the triskelion tattoo over Jungkook’s left pec muscle. You nibble at it, your teeth sinking softly into the skin.
“Oh, baby, fuck…fuck…Fuuuckkk!” Jungkook shouts, the sound turning into a guttural snarl as his body goes primal.
He seats himself completely inside of you with one final, deliberate thrust, and then you can feel the swell of his knot capture within you. It hurts, your pleasure turning into a moment of pain and panic. You squirm, trying to lift your hips from his, but the clasp of his hands on your body won’t let you go far. You whine, “J-Jungkook.”
“I know, baby girl, I know. Relax. Let your body do what it needs to do.”
It’s like those words unlock some inner Omega part of your brain, and suddenly you feel your body rush with endorphins and dopamine as it accepts the thick jets of his cum now flooding in. Like administering a drug, it’s such a fast transition that you feel lightheaded and giddy, sheepish and almost silly over your moment of panic.
“Gods, that feels so…good.” You wiggle in his arms, gasping as his knot pulls tight. You want more, need more of that feeling…need more of his cum. “More, Alpha, please.”
Jungkook pants, a tired smile on his face. You can feel it when his cock pulses inside you, dribbling even more liquid heat into your body in answer to your plea. “That’s my pretty girl,” Jungkook coos, brushing a hand across your forehead. “You’re so beautiful taking my knot, full of my cum.” He curses softly, reverently, and another gush of heat fills your body. “I’m going to take such good care of you. I swear it.”
You fall into a half-sleep, content and sated as you are. There are no worries about the future, nor the past. You are happy…all thanks to a pair of golden cufflinks.
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◅ Back to Main Master List ©️   2024-11-05 ColorMePurplex2
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warabidakihime · 5 months ago
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Rules and Roses Chapter 2
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★ characters: kibutsuji muzan x reader x akaza
★ plot summary: Kibutsuji Muzan has finally decided to expand his empire, and the way he intends to do so is by running for the highest political position. With you, his darling wife, at his side, he believes he can achieve and have everything the world has to offer. He is, after all, the Phoenix of Phario.
★ fic playlist: sometimes, same day, as time stops, wolf’s song (this is also the vision board for the fic). 
★ content warnings : implied violence and abuse, profanities, toxic relationships, smut.
★ Previous Chapter
a/n:
hello!!!
first of all, i am so sorry for taking so long to update this story. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
life happened and i got sooo busy. the time i uploaded this fic was when i just started at my new workplace and shortly after a few weeks, i was already preoccupied with work. at first, i was laser-focused on getting used to my new work and the culture. then later on, i found myself playing a more important role in the office that required my undivided attention lol. besides that, so many things happened in my personal life as well that i didn't have the time and energy to write.
btw i'm now a writer by profession as well so oftentimes i would feel drained af after writing corporate write-ups. tbh, i also got hit by writer's block, especially for this fic because the plot i have in mind for it is lowkey intricate, and for the most part, i haven't decided on what route i should take story-wise. so during those 2 years, i was constantly trying to reconstruct the story in my head, and here we are!
i'm back but i'm not so sure about updating regularly as i'm still incredibly busy, but i will do my best! the latest kny seasons inspired me to write again (aka my crush for muzan lol).
hopefully, everyone is still here to read this. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
as always, comments and kudos are highly appreciated!
happy reading!
-
"Can you outline your key policy platforms should you be elected President of Phario? Given your extensive background in the human resource industry as well as your rich connections owing to your business ventures in Obelisk Kibutsuji, do you first plan to address the pressing issue of the national unemployment rate?"
"Indeed, that's correct. As President, one of my top priorities will be to strengthen our nation's workforce, which is crucial for advancing our economy. I have a comprehensive plan focused on job creation, vocational training, and support for small businesses. These initiatives will not only reduce unemployment but also stimulate innovation and competitiveness within our economy.
I also aim to implement policies that ensure equal access to education, equipping our citizens with the skills needed for the evolving job market. Healthcare reform is high on my agenda. I'll ensure healthcare assistance is accessible to everyone, public hospitals are well-maintained, and healthcare workers are fairly compensated and protected by the state in any dire situations. Additionally, I'll push for technological advancements and infrastructure development to attract both local and foreign investments.
Addressing social issues is equally important, and as a devoted ally of these communities, I'm committed to fighting all forms of discrimination, especially against women and the LGBTQ+ community. We must ensure everyone, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or identity, has equal opportunities and protections under the law.
Moreover, I'll advocate for the rights and welfare of people with disabilities, ensuring they have access to the necessary resources and support to lead fulfilling lives. This includes improving accessibility in public spaces and promoting inclusive employment practices.
Animal welfare will also be a significant focus. We need to enact and enforce laws that protect animals from abuse and ensure humane treatment.
Lastly, I'll champion the rights of minorities and immigrants. Our nation is built on the strength of its diversity, and it's imperative we create an inclusive society where everyone feels valued and respected. This includes reforming immigration policies to be fair and humane and implementing programs that support the integration and empowerment of minority communities.
In essence, my administration will be dedicated to creating a sustainable and inclusive economic environment where every Pharian has the opportunity to thrive and contribute to our nation's progress."
Muzan stood confidently at the podium, a modest yet proud smile gracing his face after addressing a journalist's question amidst a room bustling with media personnel.
Today was the day where presidential candidates shared their platforms, which also served as an open forum for engaging with the press and fielding inquiries on a wide array of topics—from current events to personal matters.
With his seasoned composure before cameras and crowds, Muzan navigated the spotlight effortlessly. His articulate delivery drew admiration from all corners as he outlined his plans for the presidency, filling you with pride as you watched from the audience.
Among the attendees, your smile beamed with pride and unconditional support for him. Akaza, who is sitting right beside you, maintained a stoic demeanor outwardly, though inwardly, he couldn't deny a hint of impressed regard. Muzan's comprehensive platform and commanding presence left an undeniable impact on him.
Eloquence had always been Muzan's forte, a skill honed through years of being a businessman and somewhat of a public figure, as among his peers and in the business landscape in general, he is well-revered and widely celebrated.
Beyond his ability to articulate ideas, he possessed a magnetic charisma—an invaluable trait for navigating the intricate world of politics and public service.
Several hours later, the policy speech slash press conference finally ended, and now you were on your way to meet up with Muzan at the lobby of the hotel where the gathering was held when a few journalists spotted you among the sea of people who were also exiting the function room.
Akaza was right behind you and is also on full alert, an important instruction your husband told him when he appointed him as your personal bodyguard a few years back. Committed to his duty, he stood there in a stance where he is ready to take action should anything happen that is out of the ordinary.
Mics were stretched out and placed within just a few inches of your face, and one of them took the liberty to ask you a question: "What are your thoughts on Kibutsuji Muzan's campaign platforms?” 
Very much like your husband, you also wore a modest yet confident smile on your face as you held eye contact with the journalist who asked you that question before displaying your own version of eloquence as you answered,
"To say that I am proud while listening to him share and advocate for the causes he wholeheartedly believed in would be the biggest understatement of the decade," you said with a fond chuckle before continuing, "even before he filed for his candidacy and even way before he became the man we all know now, he has always been outspoken about these things. He would always share with me his desire of making significant changes in the world, hoping no more children would have to endure what he did. As many of you know, Muzan, my dear husband, came from very humble beginnings, and unlike me, he has faced challenges far beyond my own. His vision and intuition surpass that of most, and so, as cliché as it may sound, his words and strong convictions carry a weight and authenticity that are strong enough to enable him in doing the impossible and inspire others to believe that a better future is within our grasp."
Akaza listened intently to your answer, finding himself captivated by your words. The way you addressed the press made you sound like a candidate yourself who's also sharing her platform. In that moment, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming surge of pride as he continued to absorb your statements.
The journalists surrounding you mirrored his sentiment, clearly impressed by your response—no surprise from the esteemed Ballerina Queen of Phario.
It had been quite some time since you last entertained interviews, having retired and chosen to stay away from public engagements.
"Among the plethora of initiatives he wishes to take action on once he's elected, what resonated with you the most?"
You paused, contemplating the list of campaigns your husband had presented earlier. Just as you were about to respond, an arm encircled your waist and gave it a tender squeeze.
It was Muzan.
"Knowing my wife's love for animals, I'm certain she's most excited about what I have planned for animal welfare," Muzan interjected warmly.
You playfully rolled your eyes, eliciting amusement from not only your husband and your respective bodyguards but also the press. "You say that as if it's a bad thing," you quipped.
Muzan chuckled fondly. "Not at all, my love. Your passion for animals is one of the many reasons I fell for you."
The same journalist who had asked you the second question now directed his attention to Muzan, eager for his response. "Based on the most recent public survey, you're likely the most favored candidate to win the elections. What can you say about that, Sir Kibutsuji?"
Muzan smiled bashfully at the reporter, his eyes reflecting a mix of humility and determination. "I'm incredibly honored and thankful that our fellow countrymen have placed such faith and confidence in me. It's a humbling reminder of the trust they have in our vision for a brighter future. This campaign has always been about bringing real change to Phario, addressing the pressing issues our nation faces with innovative solutions and inclusive policies. The support we're seeing reflects not just my efforts, but the collective desire of our people for progress and unity."
He paused briefly, his gaze sweeping across the room, before continuing with renewed conviction, "Though I would like to emphasize that I don't take this trust lightly, it actually fuels my commitment to serve with integrity and purpose, to listen to the voices of every Pharian, and to lead with compassion and foresight."
By now, the press was highly satisfied with the answers both of you had given, granting you the freedom to depart. Clearly spent after the eventful day, you exchanged farewells and well-wishes before going your separate ways.
With Muzan's arm still draped around your waist, he guided you towards the grand entrance of the hotel. Meanwhile, Akaza made his way to the basement parking lot to retrieve your car, preparing to drive you both home. Kokushibo remained close to Muzan, ensuring your security as you awaited the car's arrival.
Turning to Muzan, unfazed by the bustling activity around you, you placed a tender kiss on his lips, smiling warmly. "Great job out there, my love. You did so well today. I'm incredibly proud of you."
Clearly elated, Muzan mirrored your smile and returned your affection with a gentle kiss on your forehead. "Thank you, darling. Your support means everything to me."
"Truly, I was beaming throughout your speech. You were absolutely amazing. Phario is fortunate to have such an admirable leader like you," you praised sincerely.
Right there and then, Muzan couldn't help but raise his eyebrow and playfully smile at you, prompting a confused raise of your own eyebrow.
"What's that look for?" you asked.
Muzan shook his head with a playful smirk before replying, "You're not showing favoritism now, are you, my love? I know you adore me, but let's keep it fair, hmm?" he teased, his tone light-hearted and affectionate.
You rolled your eyes at his playful accusation. "Ha-ha. Very funny, Muzan. I'll take it back, then."
Muzan laughed wholeheartedly, drawing attention once again. "I was just joking!" He then smiled warmly at you, his eyes reflecting pride. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "Hearing that from you means more than any applause, you know?"
You reached out to pinch his cheeks. "You play too much sometimes, you know?" you said with a chuckle before continuing, "But like I said, hearing you speak today—and in all those times you shared your aspirations with me from when we were students up to now, as you finally have the opportunity to make all come true—it's evident how deeply committed you are. Beyond your skills and capabilities, your passion is what makes you so compelling, Muzan. It's what makes me believe in you, too."
Minutes later, while waiting by the entrance, Akaza finally pulled up with the car. You and Muzan bid farewell to those around you before stepping into the comfort of your vehicle.
As the city lights blurred past the windows, you reflected on the day's events.
"You know," you began, glancing at Muzan beside you, "I have a feeling your speech today touched more hearts than just mine."
Muzan smiled softly, intertwining his fingers with yours. 
"I hope so. Though the election is still months away, and who knows how things might shift, that's why I don't want to take any of this for granted. I'm in this for the long haul. You'll be there with me, won't you?"
He looked over to you, and in that moment, despite his big words, he looked absolutely adorable, with his ruby eyes shining at you and his lips slightly pouty as he waited for your response, which you gladly provided through the means of placing yet another sweet and passionate kiss on his lips and squeezing his hand reassuringly. 
"I'll always be here for you, Muzan, through every challenge and triumph."
"I love you," he whispered lovingly, his expression sincere and heartfelt.
"And I love you," you replied with equal affection.
With a comforting squeeze of your hand, you nestled against Muzan's shoulder, feeling a sense of contentment as the car navigated through familiar streets towards home.
Meanwhile, in the driver's seat, Akaza's face remained unreadable. He was outwardly indifferent to the tender exchange between you and Muzan, but inwardly, he was seething with rage.
You think you're so clever, spouting all those promises and pretty words, playing the saint for the public eye. But I see through you. You're nothing but a manipulative snake, a liar wrapped in a facade of righteousness.
His gaze hardened and his grip on the wheel tightened as he stared ahead, the streetlights casting shadows on his determined expression.
One day, your mask will slip. 
I will fucking rip it off your face, even if it's the last thing I do.
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mswyrr · 25 days ago
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They presented the possibility of older women--who were repeatedly described as "covenless witches" in a story that also repeatedly told us a witch needs a coven--finding community again and a new reason to live in each other and their own power and then "subverted our expectations" with these women dying to serve a male character's story.
That was the point of their stories. Him.
It isn't common for older women in US pop culture to get depicted as people who are capable of rebirth. Of lives, desires, hopes and dreams that matter beyond solely being a mother. It rarely happens, and it didn't happen here.
It's rare for stories to deal metaphorically with real things - like women who get clean or make positive change in their 40s or 50s. Women who find each other and aren't alone and "forgotten" anymore. These things happen -- yes, sisterhood is sometimes a lie and sometimes "people never change." Sure, those things happen. But sometimes sisterhood isn't a lie; sometimes people make change in their lives.
You don't see these stories when they're women though, especially not older women, especially not gay women.
I'm glad for Jen. She doesn't have a community, though. A witch needs a coven they told us, over and over again. They showed us them getting one small taste of the joy they could share together, in their scene of flight. But that was just for Billy too. And now everyone else is dead. To serve the male character's journey, give him some angst.
Agatha is forever spiritually dead--not experiencing any kind of emotional breakthrough or change--because she's not the lead, so she's static so she can serve as a device within the true lead's journey.
She can't even be allowed the growth I pictured as the worst case scenario - where she dies for *the coven*--so they can live and have community and spiritual rebirth together--and makes enough peace to go with Rio. She doesn't even get that much, to get to have a real death that matters and has a sense of completion to it, where we can imagine her reunited with her child and/or at peace with Rio. She can't have that because she has to be Billy's amusing sidekick, his Jarvis, his moral warning lesson about his powers and the witches he got killed and his angst. Because his story matters and theirs didn't.
I was talking to a friend the other day about how love stories often have a "point of symbolic death, when all hope seems lost" (concept from Pamela Regis's study of romance novel structure) and with mf couples they get to rise again from that, into rebirth, into new life. Ff canon couples in stories often, due to a bunch of reasons, aren't allowed that narrative power. They remain trapped in tragedy and despair. I thought surely Agatha herself though, as the lead character, would get to have some kind of change or rebirth as part of a community of women, given that her core wound is betrayal by community -- but she, as a character, doesn't get to go into the symbolic underworld and change and be reborn, because she was never the lead character to begin with.
Sapphic love remains broken once it breaks, the "point of symbolic death" is literal death or a shattering end, there is no rebirth. We, I guess, lack the symbolic potency to come back, in the eyes of the world? We are not generative. "Which one's the man?" "How do they even have sex?" "Your marriage isn't real because you can't make babies." (Kudos for subverting that one, though, show! Except... a child born of women, without a man, cannot live a full life I guess?) And specifically, as a 30something queer woman, people who call my wife, after I've described her as my wife, my "girlfriend" and are shocked by how long we've been together. That we're grown women and our commitment is right down to the bone, that it has blood in its veins. We are not little girls playing dress up. But that is how a ton of nice people see us; we exist but we are spiritually empty, lacking potency. And the stories reflect that. That energy, that core belief that we are the juvenile, non-generative form of love and relationships. And this woman too, she remains in a kind of eternal spiritual death.
That's why people are mentioning the Hayes Code, they're feeling how that aligns with larger cultural prejudice against us and our humanity and capacity to have the kind of power of living and loving that is ascribed to mf love and that more (though not always, misogyny is a hell of a thing) straight women get in stories.
The idea that it's GOOD for a story to do this, because "sometimes sisterhood is a lie" and "sometimes people don't change" ignores that context of who precisely this narrative "subversion," this spiritual aridity is given to. And who gets to live and grow and be reborn and strive and learn and become in stories, to be allowed to connect with the transformative potential inside themselves and each other.
The show did give us a lot -- I think it's important to recognize that. The canon ff love; I would have never expected that. The canon kiss. They put a lot into that and I honor that. This wasn't a classic "bury your gays" and I'm not mad at them. They did their best. A lot of the issues I have are probably due to the problems of the mcu overall and how static it is. But the deeper themes are also just incredibly disappointing to me, and I wanted to outline why.
It's entirely possible to be disappointed but appreciate context and not be unkind to creatives who did their best within overall industry/cultural limitations, which is where I am at and what I mean with this.
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allwaswell16 · 10 months ago
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A fic rec of One Direction fics that show a healthy relationship dynamic as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!
- Louis / Harry -
☁️ Of Mates and Men by @bananaheathen
(E, 630k, wedding) In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.
☁️ Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante / @haydolce
(E, 333k, fwb) AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.
☁️ Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything
(E, 97k, road trip) Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.
☁️ No Control Club (series) by @sadaveniren
(E, 96k, bdsm) Harry, a popular BDSM blogger, writes a negative review about Louis’ club. Louis wants to have a chance to make it up to him.
☁️ My Kind of Rain by @lululawrence
(NR, 30k, musicians) the Tim McGraw/Faith Hill AU where Louis is Tim, Harry is Faith, and just when Louis thinks he is going to get some rest, his entire world turns upside down thanks to the man with curly hair and the voice that seems to sing right to Louis' heart.
☁️ The Sunshine Stays by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird
(E, 15k, canon) They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.
☁️ Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light by Layne Faire / @laynefaire
(M, 11k, Northern Lights) Harry arranges a trip to Norway as a gift for Louis, but little does Louis know Harry is also hoping to make his own dream come true, too.
☁️ I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo
(E, 9k, omegaverse) the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.
☁️ There's a Ring in the House by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf
(M, 3k, proposal) Louis knows Harry is going to propose. He's terribly impatient about it.
☁️ Changing Weather (For Worse or For Better) by @haztobegood
(M, 3k, established relationship) Five times it's raining and one time it stops.
☁️ I Choose You by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 3k, established relationship) Louis is exhausted during a busy time at work. After a long commute home, the last thing he expects is for Harry to have a surprise for him.
☁️ Gonna Dress You Up In My Love by @fallinglikethis
(T, 3k, humor) Harry decides to take up knitting. He's horrible at it. Louis wears everything anyway.
☁️ The Future's in Our Hands by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(G, 2k, humor) Louis loves a good idea, a good invention. He's always ready to try out the next project. His husband would maybe just like him to wait until morning.
☁️ The Nearness of You by theweightofmywords / @lil0
(M, 2k, mpreg) Harry and Louis' baby is due any moment. Harry just wants pretty toenails, and Louis just wants to help.
☁️ If Wishes Were Dishes by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup
(T, 2k, living together) Why is Harry doing his dishes? He must be mad at Louis. He must be absolutely livid at the way Louis is living his life as a slob.
☁️ Sugary Sweet by @neondiamond
(G, 1k, kid fic) Harry and Louis’ daughter knows exactly how to get what she wants, Harry is pregnant, and Louis is the best husband ever.
- Rare Pairs -
☁️ a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface
(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact. Oh.
☁️ two languages, one love by @nouies
(NR, 3k, Louis/Cillian Murphy) The three times Louis speaks to Cillian in Spanish, and the one time he finally gets a response.
☁️ Fine Line by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13
(G, 1k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Telling his family was always going to be a big deal, but doing it alone was a sacrifice he could make. He never thought they’d fall about laughing.
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hlficlibrary · 9 months ago
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HL Fic Library 💙 Disabled Character Fics
Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find the library's other recs here.
✨ Take My Breath Away by @realitybetterthanfiction {E, 153k}
There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war, trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on the line.
Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love with what keeps you on the ground.
✨ And What If I Were You by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom {E, 109k}
For Louis, will losing his sight give him the clarity to realise what is right in front of him?
For Harry, will losing the love of his life give him the strength to finally open his heart?
And can they find their way back, before they lose each other forever?
A story of love. A story of loss. A story of fighting for each other, no matter the odds.
✨ We're What's Right In This World by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite {E, 48k}
“Why did you talk like that in Brighton? If you weren’t planning on ever telling me?” Louis asked. “Is it because you think you’re going to die?”
“It’s war, Lou,” Harry said finally.
The words were a knife slipped between his ribs. Everything hurt and he was bleeding. He shifted up, his palms cradling Harry’s jaw, his lips against his boy’s. Not kissing, just resting there, so Louis could feel him. “Promise you’ll come back to me.”
Harry’s hands smoothed down the sides of Louis’ body. “You know I can’t do that. I’ll never lie to you.”
“Promise me. We’re going to have our cottage. And our dogs. And our breakfast in the garden where nothing grows because of the wind from the sea. Promise me.”
“I won’t.” Stubborn as always, his boy. “I’ll promise you, I’ll love you all my life. I’ll promise you, you’ll never leave my thoughts. I’ll promise you, you’re my forever and my always. But promising you something I can’t cheapens the things I can.”
Or the World War II AU where Harry goes off to fight and all Louis wants to do is be the boy who brings him home.
✨ Seeing Blind by zedi {E, 46k}
Louis finally turns his head in Liam’s direction, knows his face is showing the longing he’s been aching with ever since it took root in his chest. “What the fuck do I do, Liam? He wouldn’t want me like that, but I want-” his voice cracks, and he turns his face back downwards. “What do you do when you’re not perfect for the person who’s perfect for you?”
OR the one where Harry’s an independent omega who likes to have his fun and Louis is the blind alpha that changes Harry’s priorities.
✨ It Feels Different When You’re With Me by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings {M, 45k}
Harry fell in love with sign language as a kid. He never imagined the first love of his life would lead him straight to his second.
✨ fondre ton absence by @scrunchyharry {T, 41k}
Harry had never really given much thought to the future. He preferred to let life steer him forward and to follow in the footsteps of Louis, his best friend from as far as his memory went, his lover, his everything. Louis knew better than he did what was good for him.
It changed drastically when Louis was ripped away from him, drafted and sent to the front to fight in a war that Harry had always been sure would never reach him. Too young and too sickly to follow, Harry was left on his own for the first time in his life.
When he thought things could not possibly get worse, Louis went missing at the Somme and was declared dead. While everyone buried and mourned him, Harry never moved on. If Louis were dead, he was sure that he would know it. Their lives were too entwined, he would know if half of his heart had died.
Determined to find Louis, Harry did everything he could in his quest to be reunited with him, except prepare for the state Louis might be in.
He did not prepare for the harsh truth he would have to face: was love possible without memories?
✨ Bitter Ends Turn Sweet by @allwaswell16 {E, 30k}
It had been four years since Harry first heard the song his ex wrote about him and far longer since they broke up. He forgave Louis long ago, and now his life was focused on his career, his family, and especially his son, Max. But Louis was back in Chicago, after all this time, and he’s not an easy man to ignore.
Or a songfic inspired by the song Chicago
✨ my strange girl by curlockholmes / @dykesteddie {E, 30k}
Harry works in a cafe kitchen; making bagels, snarking with Zayn, and generally trying to exist as an autistic girl working in hospitality.
Louis is the captain of the local women's rugby team who takes a shine to her.
✨ To Give You a Hand to Hold by gettingaphdinlarry {NR, 26k}
When he spoke again, Harry’s voice was low. “Ever think of how many birthdays they don’t get?”
Louis avoided Harry’s eyes. “What do you mean?”
“Martinez was what, nineteen? Missed a good sixty of them.” Harry took the last of his cake and passed the plate to Louis. “Figure sixty missed birthdays each. Just on our side. How many is that?”
Louis used the edge of his fork to scrape frosting off the plate. “Never thought about it.”
“What would your shrink say?”
“‘Focus on the positive.’”
Harry ran a hand over his head and scratched the back of his neck. “How’s that working?”
Marine Louis Tomlinson is medically discharged when an IED explodes in Afghanistan. Months later, he's reunited Stateside with his Navy medic Harry Styles. The two of them shelter each other even as they refuse to admit they're in the throes of PTSD, until one night nearly destroys them.
✨ the dead things we carry by MediaWhore / @mediawhorefics {M, 25k}
September ‘49  He hasn’t seen him since that day in France, that horrible muddy day where for one terrifyingly long second, Louis really thought he was going to die. He winces with the phantom pain, the hand not holding his cane going to his stomach automatically, remembering the franticness, the tenderness, of Harry’s hands while Louis was bleeding out.
This is the man who saved Louis’ life.
For one second, Louis fears Harry won’t recognise him, but his eyes widen when he turns to his left and they meet Louis’. He takes a step forward, reaching for him with a shaky hand before stopping himself.
“Louis,’ Harry says with a shudder and Louis doesn’t think his name has ever carried more weight.
This is the only man Louis ever thought about kissing for real.
“Oh,” Mrs. Padley says, clearly taken aback. “You two know each other?”
There are some things people never fully come home from. Until, one day, if they’re lucky, home comes to them.
✨ Don't Act Like It's a Bad Thing to Fall in Love by��nightwideopen / @themarshalstale {G, 23k}
Louis was born blind, completely blind, leaving him with nothing but the absolute blackness that his lack of vision produces.
Harry, on the other hand, is deaf. No sound can be registered by the two tiny ears his rowdy, chocolate curls obscure so well.
The first time Louis and Harry meet, it’s sort of an accident.
✨ the sanctity of patience by @scrunchyharry {T, 22k}
When young Lord Harry was chosen by King Louis of Bavaria to become his husband and prince consort, Harry thought all of his dreams had come through. His illusions came crashing down when he understood it meant living in isolation in the alpine castle of Neuschwanstein with a husband who turned out to be far from what he had hoped for.
His illusions vanished, Harry will have learn to appreciate what has and even, perhaps, fall in love with his imperfect husband and his castle.
✨ some evening in springtime by delsicle / @eeveedel {M, 20k}
Fresh out of veterinary school, Louis moves to a sleepy small town in Texas to take over the local animal clinic. But his new life is quickly interrupted by a middle aged rancher with a bad leg and a mysterious past, who really needs Louis's yoga skills.
✨ Blind Faith by @2tiedships2 {M, 18k}
“Harry?” Liam prompted.
“I’m blind,” Harry eventually said, trying his best to keep himself from crying.
Liam was silent for a few moments, before responding, “That’s not exactly news, H. You were blind when I met you a year and a half ago. Have you been in denial this whole time or something?”
“No, Liam,” Harry cut in. “This is different. I’m not legally blind like I used to say. It’s not just my night vision. The tunnel from my tunnel vision has closed. I’m fucking blind! I moved halfway around the world in the hope of finding my soulmate and it’s obviously not happening now. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Not even a soulmate is going to want to put up with a blind alpha."
✨ Our love is special because it's you and I (series) by sweetkisses {NR, 11k}
"So what are you studying?" Harry asks.
"Accounting." Louis says quietly.
"Sweet. I don't know much about accounting but I do know that it means you must be pretty damn smart." Harry says nodding his head.
"Thanks." Louis giggles out and Harry didn't know it was possible for him to be more beautiful. "What, um, what are you studying?"
"Law." Harry says and lays his legs out in front of him as he places his hands behind him and tilts his head towards the sun.
"You must be pretty smart if you're studying law." Louis mocks with a smirk. Harry didn't expect the next words to ever come out of his mouth but this boy just does things to him.
"Two smart people make a genius couple."
or the four times Harry sees the beautiful boy in the wheelchair
✨ Heart Eyes by @snowy38 {E, 10k}
He fidgeted nervously, long fingers pushed through his soft fringe, fingertips lingering on the thick curls that he felt formed there. He hoped his hair looked okay. He hoped he looked okay.
He hoped-
“Oi oi!” Niall’s loud, Irish voice cut into the small space along with the loud chatter of the party; the door assumingly opened. He swallowed.
“Fuck off!” A northern accent complained; the sound of bodies wrestling before it went quiet again; the clunk of the lock confirming to him that his suitor was now locked inside.
Harry knew the voice. He knew. And if he hadn’t known the voice, he would have known the smoky, sweet scent of the boy before him. Seventeen years old, friends since they were eight, and they’d never been pushed into the kissing cupboard together before.
✨ Deep Within The Mystery of Your Eyes (I Am Home At Last) by patdkitten / @babyarcanacasey {M, 10k}
It's a world where you discover your soulmate after skin contact and finding your world exploding in colour. Louis has been blind his entire life. He makes do quite well, thank you very much, and he's glad that he doesn't have to see colours fade in and out of his world. Harry trains disability dogs, and, during a chance meeting with Louis at a local market, he discovers that Louis' his soulmate. He comes up with a wild scheme - train his current dog to be the perfect dog for Louis - in order to keep Louis in his life, and maybe convince him they're soulmates.
✨ the pain never leaves, but neither do you. (series) by Anonymous {M, 10}
Harry has fibromyalgia and Niall is an idiot, leaving Louis to bump into Harry at 6am in a hospital corridor. It ends up as something much more wonderful than Harry ever could have expected, stood with a walker in his ratty PJs after a nasty flare-up, and he finally finds someone who can love him just the way he is.
✨ I Roll 'til I Change My Luck by larry_hiatus / @larry-hiatus {T, 8k}
Dating is hard enough when you're gay. When Louis reveals to his Tinder matches that he uses a wheelchair and has a service dog, things tend to get even more complicated. Too bad the guys on dating apps aren't as sweet and understanding as his best friend Harry...
✨ Struggle by @1diamondinthesun {NR, 3k}
Louis had accepted long ago that he would always be alone in the world. Yet he often wondered what defined us as people: the cards we’d been dealt, or how we played them to survive.
Or, Louis is living with a chronic illness and growing tired of going it alone.
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shadowgast-recs-weekly · 11 months ago
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Have some extra time? Want to dive into something deep, or maybe stay up until 5am reading shadowgast fanfiction? Well, this week, we've got thirteen series for you! Check them out underneath the cut, and please comment and kudos if you liked them!
Clock Hands by royalgreen (62504, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: None
Alternate take on canon where Essek and Caleb start a relationship, leading into an alternate Rumblecusp arc
Reccer says: Great pining, sweet fluffy bois, fantastic worldbuilding, and a mystery
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Touching Sentiments by Chanse (SpottedEnchants) (239244, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
This slice-of-life, interconnected collection of premises explores, among many things, the concept of Essek as both touch-averse and touch-starved, and how this might affect his relationships with the Mighty Nein.
Reccer says: I love how the author handles Essek's conflicting needs, and his relationship with all of the Nein (especially Caleb). It's so soft.
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Wild Magic Surges by literalfuckinggarbage (10385, General) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Character studies of each wizard turning into a child version of themself through a wild magic surge in Aeor.
Reccer says: They are so sweet and precious as children! And all of the Nein’s voices are perfect
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Among the Tattered Ruins by Cardinal_Daughter (33320, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Post canon getting together in Aeor, being domestic/sexy in Caleb’s house and meeting family.
Reccer says: I liked it!
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Essek Thelyss' Lingerie Collection by CircaTheKnowledgeable (19490, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Essek Thelyss is given his first set of lingerie and finds a confidence in it that he has not had in a long time. Caleb loves it too.
Reccer says: Hot!
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Shadowgast Omegaverse by firefright (54283, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Omegaverse
alpha!Caleb and omega!Essek fall into a relationship right before the peace talks. This explores that and continues on
Reccer says: It's always wonderful to find a good a/b/o series, and this fits that beautifully
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Catch A Falling Star (Critical Role) by RainyDayDecaf (32921, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn, Graphic Depictions of Violence
The Mighty Nein find more than a Beacon in the sewers of Zadash. They also find a drow wizard and prisoner of war.
Reccer says: Mostly pre-relationship, the slow build is lovely! Heart wrenching at times and amusing at others.
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birds of prey by TheKnittingJedi (102785, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn
A Scourger!Bren AU that has Bren and Essek playing cat-and-mouse in political intrigue, spy games, and increasingly complicated emotions
Reccer says: I liked it!
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the tusk love cinematic universe by kaeda (168202, Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
While in Aeor, Essek and Caleb are transported to what seems to be the world of Tusk Love.
Reccer says: Kaeda is able to take such a crack premise and make it deeply compelling and heartwarming
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reflections and other illusions of control by atlasarcana (84220, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Essek and Caleb have bedroom issues and summon an echo. The Echo is from a timeline where Bren remained a Volstrucker. They make things work.
Reccer says: This fic series focuses on relationship dynamics, intimacy, repression, and vulnerability. Caleb's journey into accepting a Dom role has to do with healing from a lot of trauma, and it's wonderful watching him be taught by Bren, who inadvertently is also healing from trauma by doing so. Plus, there's cross-timeline matchmaking for Bren and his own timeline's evil Shadowhand.
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Aeor is for Lovers: Prompt Fills by LessAttitudeMoreAltitude (17979, Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes
Essek and Caleb in Aeor, their relationship developing over a series of whumpy incidents
Reccer says: For a whump based series, it's surprisingly soft and sweet
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Ages Past Ages Hence Cinematic Universe by Athenavine (30355, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence
Slice of life romance fics that capture the fulness of the love blooming between two wizards in exandria
Reccer says: athenavine really captures the characters voices, and the pace the romance moves at is just delicious. the descriptions are visceral and immersive and the fic updates very reliably and regularly. the series is emotionally compelling and spicy and exciting and it takes place over a span of time that feels like i really get a peek into all the important moments between my two favorite exandrian wizards. 10/10, will scream for anybody to read it, highly reccommend
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And then we have two recs for this last one!
Field On Fire (Not the Actual Events) by Defiler_Wyrm (60535, Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Content Notes, Contains a couple of monsterfucking scenes, but it’s still Shadowgast
From the depths of Aeor to a peace beyond, Caleb and Essek come together and explore their relationship—and each other—thoroughly.
Reccer 1 says: I’m entirely biased, but I like the balance of fluff and smut with a bit of humor and a pinch of angst, and how no two sex scenes are truly the same. Reccer 2 says: Top quality smut, Essek being competent as hell, Caleb being super slutty, I love all of it
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Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week, we’ll be back with Sports/Athletes AUs! Let's make the noodly wizards move!
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jamsmemes · 2 months ago
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( * BOOK PROMPTS !
the girl with the louding voice - abi daré.
❛  i taste the salt of my tears at the memory of it all. ❜
❛  you know how this is a good thing for your family.  ❜
❛  i don’t want to just be having any kind voice. i want a louding voice.  ❜
❛  think how you been suffering since your mama.  ❜
❛ i know it is not what you want.  ❜
❛  think of how your family will be better because of it.  ❜
❛  you will suffer in this house.  ❜
❛  she will tell you that i am a wicked woman.  that my madness is not having cure. ❜
❛  i cannot remember much of what happened to me last night.  ❜
❛  i was too afraid of having a baby so quick, afraid of falling sick from the load of it.  ❜
❛  when i held her in my hands for the first time, my heart was full of so much love.  ❜
❛  my children make me laugh when i am not even thinking to laugh.  ❜
❛  children are joy. real joy.  ❜
❛  this is what i have been wanting all my life, to leave this place and see what the world outside is looking like.  ❜
❛  i hang my head down, feeling a thick, heavy cloth as it is covering me. the thick cloth of shame, of sorrow, of heart pain. ❜
❛  if she wants to dance, she should go to a bloody nightclub.  ❜
❛  god has given you all you need to be great, and it sits right there inside of you.  ❜
❛  you believe, i know you do.  ❜
❛  you just need to hold onto that belief and never let go.  ❜
❛  when you get up every day, i want you to remind yourself that tomorrow will be better than today. that you are a person of value. that you are important. ❜
❛  i wasn’t born into wealth. i have worked hard for my success. i fought for it.  ❜
❛  if you want to be like me in business, you will have to work very hard.  ❜
❛ never, ever give up on your dreams. do you understand? ❜
❛ you are me. i am you.  ❜
❛  there are words in my head, many things i want to say.  ❜
❛  i want to live in this life and help many people so that when i grow old and die, i will still be living through the people i am helping. ❜
❛  we can all be understanding each other if we just take the time to listen well.  ❜
❛  you must do good for other people, even if you are not well, even if the whole world around you is not well.  ❜
❛  who knows what else tomorrow will bring? ❜
❛  the future is always working, always busy unfolding better things, and even if it doesn’t seem so sometimes, we have hope of it.  ❜
❛  i want to shout at the night and tell it to never become a tomorrow.  ❜
❛  rich people have plenty brain problems.  ❜
❛  my chest feels full of birds flapping their wings inside of it.  ❜
❛  tomorrow will come. nothing i can do about that.  ❜
❛  get up. you are needed.  ❜
❛  sometimes even the strongest of people can suffer a weakness.  ❜
❛  anybody can learn.  ❜
❛  sometimes i wish i can just believe for a good life and it will magic and happen for me, just like that.  ❜
❛  it will all make sense one day. one day, things will get better.  ❜
❛  you’ve been through so much, so bloody much, and yet you always have a smile, you cheeky thing, you always have a damn smile on your face.  ❜
❛  i felt a fraction of what you had to endure for months.  ❜
❛  all this bullshit happening to me, that’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through. nothing.  ❜
❛ if you can pull it off, then kudos to you.  ❜
❛  who knows, maybe someone will talk about you too one day. you know, as part of history.  ❜
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kudoichiz · 3 months ago
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About yoichi { and kudo's } characterisation
Decided to make a post about this because I just want to yap. This will be mainly yoichi focused, but before I start ranting I really want to make it clear that I'm in no way trying to hate on anyone, degrade anyone or paint myself as some all knowing best writer and character analyzer. I'm just someone who wants to yap, if anyone disagrees or has anything to add you can do so freely and I'll respect your opinions.
I want to begin with saying that everyone has different interpretations of characters and that's perfectly normal - out experiances and view points will affect how we see a character. My issue is mainly when the character does something they wouldn't do at all, or when they just turn into a different character completely. I've seen this lately with the way people have been characterizing yoichi and kudo in kudoichi fics or even just smaller things.
I'd like to start with yoichi. I've come across this misconception (?) that yoichi wasn't a part of the resistance, or was in some way sheltered. This isn't true, it's stated in canon (the manga at least) that he was there. I understand if it's anime only watchers or people who do this on purpose, but honestly I'd just want to see more mentions of this fact . This does have to do with his characterization because he's also sometimes painted as some sheltered guy who doesn't understand anything about the world and has to rely on kudo (and Bruce) to help him. This isn't true and it just takes away from the character. Yoichi's story has a lot of missing bits and most of it indeed is up to interpretation - but from what is given, he isn't sheltered. Him and his brother lived on the streets - and the abandoned skyscraper for most of his life. I believe he would have a basic idea of how some things function. I also believe that he would be able to handle himself in rougher situations. Obviously we don't know details of his past but life on the streets would definitely teach him some types of skills that could be useful. For example I think yoichi would learn to be more perceptive of his surroundings/the people around him. Something I don't see much in fics is his life before the vault and really how much it taught him. Yes all for one is mentioned in conversation but I feel like there's so much potential in exploring how he became the person he is, how he developed some habits, how his life before he vault shaped him. It's honestly disheartening to know that there's so much potential that isn't used. Another thing - I want to comment on how yoichi's strong sense of justice also isn't that touched upon, we know his views on the world, why not continue to develop that. Yoichi would be persistent and he would want to always do the right thing, this includes him joining the resistance - helping them, trying to do anything to prove that he is a good person, etc. but it will also show in conversations, yoichi has been shown to have a tendency to see the positive in otherwise bad situations, this mentality of his isn't touched upon I believe. I've seen fics where he is a lot more sad than what he would be imo, yes he definitely isn't the happiest - and a range of emotions is good to show, but he wouldn't spiral into constant negative thoughts. Now I also want to mention things I do like. I like it when yoichi is shown to not understand social cues, it's logical - he most likely didn't get to interact with people before he met kudo and Bruce, so it makes sense for him to not understand how to talk to people, or not understand typical human behavior. There is something about this that I would comment on.. there is a line to this and if it's crossed it just mischaracterizes him. I've seen yoichi be portrayed as dumb. Not understanding social cues doesn't mean he is dumb, he is quite the smart character actually - and he knows much more than he would know given his circumstances, the thing is it's easy to mix those two up, but when it's done correctly - yoichi not understanding social cues is a thing I do enjoy seeing. Last thing about yoichi - I feel like he would know a lot of things from the comics he enjoyed reading, also I think that he didn't only read comics - but that they were still his favorites since they were easiest to understand for him. There's so much potential with this because the way he perceives the world can be tied to the comics. Such as him being more of a visual learner, or not needing to have everything told to him to understand something, using context clues etc. I feel like that could be something interesting to add to fics.
Now. Moving onto kudo. Not necessarily fics but I've seen him be very mischaracterized, kudo is the leader of a resistance - he would have the qualities that make a person a leader. I've seen many fics where kudo isn't the best at showing his feelings or just doesn't do it, would he be nervous, yes everyone gets nervous. But would it be hard for him to share his feelings - no. A good leader is good at communication, this is seen in canon aswell, he's able to communicate with the other vestiges well. I believe kudo would be open about his feelings,. More about the leader qualities - kudo wouldn't be as mean as some fics make him out to be. As a leader he has to be strict and firm, he has to do this so that people trust him. This can be mistaken for being mean, but kudo has never been shown to be mean to people. Most of the times he's serious - yes but he wouldn't shout at people or just be passive aggressive. Yes I have seen people charectarize him like that. Also once I turn 18 I'll address the issues of those um. Smut fics. I'm just going to say this: kudo would NOT say most of the things he does in those. ...
Kudo's section is short since I don't want to make this long - I just want to talk about one last thing. Kudoichi's relationship as a whole. Most of it is up to interpretation but I really find it disheartening to see people not go into depth with them. To not go I to depth about the raw connection they have, how deep their relationship actually is when you think about it. Without making this super long I just want to say. This isn't meant to hate but just as a general comentary, just my thoughts. You have the freedom to agree, disagree, point out anything you want. In the end I guess the point of this is really to just talk about how much potential these characters have and that it should be used. I am generalizing fics, I haven't read all and I know that there probably are fics where these are commented upon - but I'm speaking solely from my experience. And I understand that there are different experiences. Well um that's it ig. If someone actually read this all - woah !
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wisteriagoesvroom · 11 days ago
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sooo late but doing this instead of doing work haha heehee. thanks for tagging me @lovelylotusf1 and @cx-boxbox.
How many works do you have on AO3?
f1 fics: 16 total: 58
What's your total AO3 word count?
310k. which depending on your perspective is a lot, or not a lot at all ! i'm trying to be comfy with the fact that fic is fun and shouldn't be quantified with stats but that's a whole other arc
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
i have a whole thing about getting sucked into stats so tbh i don't know as of right now, and am making the active choice not to know
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i do for short fics (<3,000 words)! it feels easier somehow? i read every single comment though and even screenshot them for shitty days. (and there are surprisingly quite a lot of shitty days tbh. not to bludgeon you all about it but).
p.s. if you've ever written an essay comment for any fic you deserve the biggest hug in the world. is all i will say as an author...
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
it turns out all my fics are kinda angsty...! probably the girl!lando fic pardon my emotions. the unwritten sequel remains on my mind... the 2024 season has given us so much to work with...
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
definitely the sun and really because @maaxverstappen specifically requested a happy ending in the exchange prompt. maybe i just need a tiny mandy dancing on my shoulder at all times to make this stick.
Do you write crossovers?
i think i've done for other fandoms but not in f1 yet. i had an 814 spiderman multiverse fic percolating for a while but it's kind of on hold like the rest of my writing atm cus. life.
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
not in f1 afaik. but it's like my 6th year of being in fandom now and trust me when i say i've seen almost everything atp.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
i'm pious i'm unhinged, so yes.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
no
Have you ever had a fic translated?
no
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
yes, in a diff fandom
i've talked about co-writing f1 fics with @miamimaiden and @unlapped, but all my writing's kind of on hold rn so nothing as of yet !! co-writing can be so fun though and i highly encourage it. also vibing in the gdocs counts as writing. to meee.
What's your all-time favorite ship?
anything enemies to lovers tbh. hence, carcar.
frando-norpinto have my heart as of late.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
the longform notting hill 814 au that is outlined in my drafts with an almost complete chapter 1, but i do not have the spark or capacity to write more atm
What are your writing strengths?
i've been told i write very cinematically, and that i do ✨ vibes ✨ very well
athat may be at the expense of actual plotting lmao. but i just love slowness without a particular sense of direction sometimes?
which is also why writing the sun was so fun, because i didn't have a ton of time to stay too long in one scene. and i had to finish it on deadline, and it still had character development while staying under 15k
What are your writing weaknesses?
long plots for sure. this is also my hangup in screenwriting class (when i used to go to screenwriting class).
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
i've done so before for lestappen fics and probably should've gotten it checked, but alas. also lestappen fics were much earlier in my fandom journey and i didn't have anyone to ask back then 😬
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
[redacted]
What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?
choscar (charles/oscar) or francoscar (franco/oscar) maybe.
bonsai (carlos/alex).
oscar's my blorbo, i just love putting him in Situations.
What's your favorite fic you've written?
in f1 it's gonna be the sun (AGAIN) or at a constant speed.
tagging @miamimaiden @testarossa @strwbrryfire @ocontraire and whoever else wants to play. i'm so late so maybe everyone has done it already.
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f1crecs · 1 year ago
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Fic Rec List - Football AUs
if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and I will remove it immediately, no questions asked. I have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop me a message🤍
have a pairing you want me to do next? please read the faqs and then head to my inbox.
don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!
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hi, anon. of course! I hope you enjoy some of these. I am British, so I took this to mean ⚽🥅🏆 ... please let me know if you meant the 🏈📣🤸‍♀️ kind.
the majority of these are Charles/Pierre. I like to try and keep my rec lists fairly evenly balanced, but the truth is that most of the football AU's in fandom feature these two. which, I won't lie, does make me giggle a little bit given Charles' um... you know... his...
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enjoy, anon!
Carlos/Lando
I remember when I met you just before September by @wolfiemcwolferson | E | 16.3k Carlos meets someone who changes everything for him. This is such a gorgeous, gorgeous story, with some of my favourite Carlos characterisation ever! One thing that this author always gets right is their dialogue - it flows so beautifully, and is so fun to read. A beautiful story.
And the prettiest boy he’s ever seen in his life is wearing a pink shirt - tight across his chest, dancing against George - who is cackling, head thrown back and looser than Carlos has ever seen him look before.
Charles/Pierre
use every fibre of my being just to keep me at bay by @pinkierre | T | 2.2k Pierre and Charles are on the same course at University. This is such a sweet story! It made me giggle out loud. This author has such perfect comedic timing - it's so fun to read! I also loved the Max and Pierre friendship here, and the Max and Charles rivalry.
Pierre was not staring. However, maybe he was looking into Charles’ general direction a bit... much… Charles was on the other side of the library, in a white hoodie that seemed to be two sizes too big, a dark pair of glasses, a black bandana and a massive pair of headphones. He looked properly adorable, and Pierre might just like seeing him being so into his work.
goal of the century by @yukierres | G | 2.3k Charles joins the team, and has a big impact. This is such a sweet story! The characterisation is fantastic. Charles has this magnetism to him that Pierre just can't resist - and I think that's an experience most of us have been through before. 😁 This author's writing makes me really happy. This was fantastic.
'You can see it in his eyes though, the burning desire to get on the pitch. The intensity in which he follows the ball during play, hands gripped on his thighs, his porcelain skin getting whiter and whiter as the clock ticks. Pierre can't stop watching him in the corner of his eye as he plays. He is completely magnetic, almost hypnotic. He can't draw himself away from Charles however much he tries.'
The Light That Shines Behind Your Eyes by @saintdevote | T | 2.6k Pierre's journey through the world of professional football. This is such a gorgeous AU, that still feels very them. The angst here was hard-hitting, but beautifully done. The last few sentences gave me chills - which isn't something I often say! I really loved this!
'Pierre wishes he could find it in himself to be bitter, to lash out and tell Charles to go away. Even if he did, he’s not entirely one of his oldest friends would do such a thing. Instead, he smiles.'
all the kingdom lights shined (just for me and you) by @chaesonghwas | T | 15.8k (wip) Pierre and Charles and their journey to the World Cup. I am loving this so far! It is such a gorgeous story - so beautifully paced. You can feel the friendship and love and respect blooming between them. I am so excited to see where this goes!
'Charles finally meets Pierre on a sunny day on the pitch, the sun shining down on his golden hair and the ball at his feet. Beautiful, he thinks, and with that he seals his destiny.'
nsfw: you're in my head, you're in my blood by @singsweetmelodies & @boxboxbrioche | E | 15.8k Charles and Pierre work on a project together. Disclaimer - as a standard rule, I do not recommend my own fics! However, this was written with a close friend, who I am a very big fan of, and it seems like a disservice to her and to FootballPlayer!Pierre fans everywhere not to include this. All the best parts were written by her, anyways. ;)
Charles knows Pierre Gasly, is the thing. Well. He knows of Pierre Gasly. He knows that he plays for the university’s football team, and aside from football, obviously, what Pierre loves most in the world is sex.
Charles/Sebastian
nsfw: Pale Fire by @lyonsbutton | E | 37.2k Charles meets Sebastian in his final year of University. This story is incredible - so very bittersweet, and achingly nostalgic. If you have been to a British University, you will probably see parts of your experience reflected here. The humour is delicious. I wish I could read this one again for the first time.
'Charles is made acutely aware of the fact that he'd skipped two practices in a row. If his position in the first team weren't so heavily cemented he would've been a little more worried. That, and the fact that he's technically this year's treasurer, which means whatever. Charles can't remember the last time he opened Excel. This is why student democracy fails, he thinks, as he fails to make a beautiful pass from Lando connect into the goal.'
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edupunkn00b · 4 months ago
Note
Hey hey Edu! I am having a day™️today and I have been thinking about why it is so hard for me to reread "What Might Have Been", but not "The Uses of Adversity"
Buckle up, there are spoilers for anyone who somehow has not read those masterpieces already
So, I think, I figured out my difficulty with WMHB is that at the core, I can barely cope with how much Remus spirals in that fic. The way he loses his grasp on himself more and more, the way his mind offers him another reality to deal with the how his life is getting out of order just- it did blindside me. Not because it's unrealistic or because you wrote it badly.
I think it just took me so off-guard after reading Happily Ever After where Remus, may have struggled but ended up helping Logan so often. Like, there is this underlying strength in his character that I adored. This hope and playfulness that never seized to show up.
And then he falls apart. It all falls apart and shatters. And I know that people do that. I know that characters do that and that it creates so much more interesting stories.
Later in different tidbits you show us how Remus was, versions of Remus and how he self-destructed before. You showed us better versions of himself, where he gets help earlier, chooses different paths, is able to choose different paths.
So it makes sense that he spirals, gets worse than ever before.
It just hurts so much because to me, it felt like he had it already. It felt like he was out of the woods. It felt like he had gotten better and was stronger than this. But the problem is that healing isn't linear. Sometimes you don't heal at all. Sometimes you just deal with the chipped state you're in.
And I think that was the thing that hurt. That Remus wasn't broken, but chipped. He seemed fine. He seemed to be doing well, to adjust, to grow. But he wasn't really broken, he was just chipped. He is chipped. And that is not something to be fixed but to be dealt with. And it's exhausting and tiresome if you don't know how to do it or have lost the motivation to do it.
But in TUoA we have Logan. And this version of Logan, who has suffered so much and is hurt and fearful and so very much in pain is less painful for me to see than WMHB Remus could ever be. Because that Logan has been broken. That Logan has been irreparably changed and will never be the same again.
And yet. And yet he gets the chance to become someone new. He gets the chance to be put back together in a new way. He gets to have Roman by his side, who looks at his broken pieces with love and care and is with him anyway.
And I think that hit less hard than what happened with Remus and feels more hopeful to me even though I understand that there is much more to come for Logan in that universe. But maybe, he'll be spared to have his son admitted to a mental hospital. Maybe he'll he spared to see his love fall apart because of something he couldn't have.
Maybe at least this portion of his life ends up being gentler than what WMHB would have given him.
Yeah.
I am very normal about your fics.
Kudos.
First of all, all the hugs in the world for you, Eir <3. You are beautiful inside and out and I hope you know that your stories touch me in so many of the same ways you're describing. (Most especially Life on Crow Avenue and Words Are Hard.) <3
I first read your note last night and had to sit with it because you're right, at the core of Remus' journey in What Might Have Been is the terrible truth that mental illness doesn't just go away. It can be managed to varying levels but it won't ever simply 'heal' like a cold or a broken leg. It's always there with us.
That was a difficult lesson for me to learn and one I'm probably still learning. I knew it intellectually but there have been times when life decided I needed to really learn it.
So many of us are those chipped cups, sitting on a shelf or serving some purpose. Just like those chipped cups, some of us break more easily than someone who has never been cracked and we do require extra care.
When I wrote Happily Ever After, I intended it to be a fairy tale. A fantasy, my fantasy, of what my life could have been like had I had friends like Janus and Roman in my life during my darkest times. Of how much stronger and better I could be if I'd had the support they gave him over the years.
I structured it like a fairy tale, took every chapter title from the first line of famous books. Logan started the story sad but unbroken, still surrounded by love and support. He ended the story discovering what I discovered about my self, ended the story with love for him and promising futures for his children. It was my dream fairy tale ending.
And it was completely unrealistic.
After sitting with the story for bit, I wanted to see how that might have actually happened, what a real ending to Logan's story might have been like, because if I could make Logan's fairy tale ending more realistic, I could make it realistic for me, too. That if in the more realistic version when Remus couldn't just bounce back again this time, if in even that version, he and Logan (and Janus and Roman and all of them) could still find a happy ending, I knew I could, too.
The Uses of Adversity is the same tale but backwards. What could possibly lead Logan to a happy ending when he started without Janus as a friend? The first part of TUoA, It Could Always Be Worse was very dark and was nearly even darker. I wasn't sure how it would end until I got to the last chapter. The original tags included an "author chose not to use Archive warnings" tag because that story nearly ended very differently.
Strangely, The Uses of Adversity, as straightforward as Logan and Roman's love story was, was much harder to write than WMHB or any of the other tales.
I hope that for every person who can't ever go back to WMHB, there's a person who reads it and can see that happy endings aren't just for fairy tales. That we can go through it all and still find a way to happiness in the end. That, chipped and broken and spiraling, there's always another chance for us to pick ourselves up or to allow ourselves be picked up, and keep on going toward a place of warmth and joy.
No matter what we've been through, it's never too late to build joyful connections with other people. It's never too late for a happy ending.
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theguardiansseries · 8 months ago
Text
From the Beginning - Chapter 4: Danny Is Brave Despite His Friends’ Best Efforts (He Also Discovers The Benefits Of Soup)
A/N: When you have your outline squished together so what should have been separated into two chapters is instead one big chapter, but that just makes it read better anyways. Enjoy the "Mystery Meat" episode!
Reminder that updates are (hopefully) every Wednesday and Saturday and that I survive off of comments and kudos!
Rating: Teen Audiences
Summary:
Dani Fenton (who is sometimes starting to go by Danny Fenton) is a fifteen-year-old almost sophmore who was just going about her normal life when she figured out she sort of liked being seen as a boy. Oh, then he (he had definitely been a he at the time) got shocked by a machine his parents built to view into another world that they believed contained a world of ‘ecotplasmic entities.’
Danny really isn’t sure how to tell them that they were right and that he was in the machine when it turned on and that maybe he isn’t so human anymore. (He might also not be a girl anymore, but that one was a little more difficult to explain than the fact that he ((she?)) might be half-ghost.
AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54944266/chapters/139959616
Chapters: <<First>> <Prev || Next>
Chapter Four: Danny Is Brave Despite His Friends’ Best Efforts (He Also Discovers The Benefits Of Soup)
It was more of an effort to not laugh than it should have been, but Danny figured he was allowed to laugh at his friends’ misery when he was suffering from the same thing. 
Sam didn’t seem to think so, glaring up at him and muttering a whisper-soft, “I know where you live.” The words were nearly drowned out over the frenzy that was the cafeteria room, but it still managed to make Danny give in and laugh fully.
“Yeah, you do, but could you even make it up the stairs to kill me? I’m pretty sure you’d collapse before even making it through the front door.” The sad part was, it didn’t seem like much of an exaggeration when all three of them were exhausted, sleep deprived, and trying to figure out how the hell they had been given so much homework when it was only Friday of their first week. “C’mon, guys, at least we have the weekend to look forward to!”
“Yeah, the weekend we’ll be using to do fifty pounds of homework,” Tucker muttered, everything about him dripping with bitterness. “Do you think the teachers hate us? Is that what this is? Or are they trying to weed out the weak?”
“Probably want us all to commit suicide so they don’t have to deal with us,” Sam grumbled, Danny fighting to not laugh again even as Tucker did. “School was not this exhausting last year.”
Danny shrugged, nibbling on a fry, “Dunno. Maybe they’re trying to figure out the smart ones from the dumb ones early.” A glance down at his tray showed that while he had eaten a lot of his lunch already, there was still a good amount left. He was still starving and hungry as hell a lot, but he at least wasn’t scarfing everything down that he could get his hands on like he had in the beginning of the week. “Which means me and Tuck are doomed.” 
“Hey,” Tucker frowned. “I’m smart!” Mm… was he, though? Danny figured the thought must have shown up on his face since Tucker looked even more offended. “Hey!”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong, Tuck, you’re a genius when it comes to coding and hacking and tech and stuff, but… You kind of suck at everything else.”
There was a long silence, Danny waiting for a response before Tucker looked away and sullenly started sipping on his chocolate milk. It was way more hilarious than it should have been, especially when he saw Sam trying to fight back her own laughs. It was possible all the homework might have caused them to suffer from a little bit of hysteria.
“Okay, okay,” Sam said as soon as she was able, sitting back up. “Whose house is up first for homework duty-”
“Not it!” Danny and Tucker both shouted immediately, which, excellent. That meant a study session at Sam’s who was rich and, therefore, had the best study snacks. Sam didn’t even look surprised, anymore! 
“How generous of you boys, truly,” Sam drawled, Danny quickly taking a bite of whatever was closest to hide the stupid grin he could feel forming. It wasn’t his fault being counted as ‘one of the boys’ was starting to become a pretty good feeling. “Speaking of you boys, Danny! Did you finally learn to breathe between bites?”
“Ha ha,” Danny said with as dry a tone as he could muster, not keeping it up long before he was smiling at his friends’ looks. “I dunno, just… I’m still really hungry, but it doesn’t feel like I’m Godzilla waking up from a thousand year long nap, you know?”
Tucker snorted with laughter while Sam shook her head, smiling anyways, “At least there’s that. How’d your check up with the doctors go on Wednesday?”
“Yeah, how’d your escape from the second half of classes go,” Tucker pretended to frown, Danny rolling his eyes and flicking a fry at him. At least, Danny was pretty sure it was a fry. 
“It went fine.” Which was something Danny had already told the two, but, God, it would take someone a lot stronger than Danny to get them to stop worrying over him. “I’m still, you know, not the best, but they’re happy that I seem to be stable and don’t have anything that’s, like, really wrong, you know?”
Not to say he was perfectly alright. He was still dropping almost everything he picked up or tried to hold, but he wasn’t shaking or losing his balance as much anymore. His breathing still wasn’t the best, either, and his heart rate was still kind of trashed, but he at least didn’t struggle for air after walking from his house to the end of the block! 
“The only thing that sucked was that Jazz spent an hour grilling the doctors about the best way to follow the aftercare instructions,” Danny continued, trying not to think back to the pure embarrassment at Jazz’s motherly concern and craziness. “Not sure if she’s just that worried, or if she was trying to make some kind of point because Mom and Dad weren’t there.” Ah… and there were the shared looks.
Tucker was the first to speak, as the more ‘relaxed’ friend, so him speaking first made it seem less like an interrogation, “Your parents didn’t go to the appointment with you? Or were they waiting in the car or lobby or something?” 
Sam was next, pushing in deep and trying to drive the point home and get Danny riled up into confessing what they all already knew, “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course Danny’s parents would go with him to a doctor’s appointment when it comes to something like this.”
“You know,” Danny finally managed after a few seconds. “This was a lot more effective before I broke down your team interrogation techniques. Now it’s just sad.” Ah, the annoyed, upset looks of his best friends. Balance was restored. “They were at home working on the Portal- I mean, I told you guys what happened, right? The whole self-sustaining thing?”
As expected, Tucker was quick to leap onto the subject of self-sustaining energy, “Dude, I still can’t believe your parents might be about to crack into a source of self-sustaining energy that’s actually, you know, self-sustaining.” 
“Might,” Sam stressed. “If this really is running off of- Of ectoplasm or whatever it is, then we have no idea what that could do to someone if they’re exposed to it. I mean, we once thought radiation was safe, too.” 
“Damn,” Danny muttered, looking at Tucker. “I think she won that one because that’s… That’s a really good point.” 
“But she always wins!” Before Danny could think of a response at Tucker’s loud, dramatic whining, he felt his back bend and his nails dig into his palms at the sudden race of electricity that burned through him like he had shoved a fork into a socket and- “Danny? Hey, whoa, what’s wrong?” 
“I-” Danny cut himself off, shuddering as the feeling began to fade, instead turning into something like a low, pouding sense of worry at the back of his mind. “I just- It felt like I was just shocked, just now, but… not. You know?”
His friends both had looks that made it seem like no, they did not know, and Danny wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or grateful when the bell warning them of their next class screeched through the air. Shaking his head and standing up, Danny muttered a quick, “Nevermind. Probably just the normal static shock.” Except it hadn’t felt like it. 
It was more like an exposed wire had been pressed to his skin and then pulled away only to linger in the air just behind him, ready to zap him all over again the second he made the wrong move or choice. It was like an ever-evolving anxiety attack and he was half-tempted to ask Jazz if any of her psychology books had anything on something similar because jesus. 
Already keyed up even while the three were just dumping their trash from lunch, he wasn’t even surprised when some loud banging from the kitchen sent him jumping into the air and almost knocking both himself and Tucker to the ground. “Whoa, dude, you okay?” 
“I-” Danny cut himself off, grateful that he had already thrown his trash into the actual trash can rather than flinging it onto Tucker or some random kid behind them. “You guys heard that too, right? The…” Words running out, Danny gestured vaguely towards the kitchen. 
“Sounded like someone back there might have knocked a pot or something over,” Sam said, standing close by on Danny’s other side and hovering like she was about to catch him. It would have been sweet if Danny wasn’t ready to crawl out of his skin from anxiety. 
“I- I mean. I know the bell just rang, but would- Would you guys come with me to just check? Real quick?” Danny should not be this close to some kind of anxiety attack. He had a weird feeling and now he was just feeding into his terror or something like that. Jazz would have had the words for it, but Danny knew enough to know that he was just scaring himself and he needed to calm down. Still. What if it was something and not just a bad feeling? 
“Yeah. Yeah, sure. We can check it out real quick.” Sam headed for the kitchen doors with a sense of confidence and purpose that meant no one would stop her, Tucker still sort of holding him up as he followed after her and tugged Danny along. (She wasn’t really feeling much like ‘Danny’ anymore.)
“Well, that’s a fun thing to learn,” Dani muttered under her breath, not surprised when Tucker noticed and gave her a questioning look, because Tucker only ever seemed to be observant when she was freaking out. “Not really feeling much like a guy when I’m this… anxious?” 
“There’s probably some insanely long lecture on feminism that Sam has memorized to explain it if you want to ask,” Tucker teased, Dani feeling a little better. 
She then felt a million times worse when they all got to the kitchen door and pushed it open to see that the lights were flickering and dimming before shutting off entirely. Dani gulped and she felt Tucker go still, whispering a horrified, “We’re in a horror movie.” 
“We are not in a horror movie,” Sam snapped, which was a clear enough indicator that she was just as on edge as them. “The lights probably started acting up and caused one of the cooks to drop something.” 
“Are lunch ladies really cooks?” Tucker asked, injecting just enough stupid humor into the situation that Dani didn’t feel like she was going to faint in terror as they crept forward into the kitchen. The door swinging shut behind them made her feel like some dramatic death toll should be going off in the background. “Like, genuinely-” 
“Yes, they are,” Sam said firmly. “And also because one of the cooks here identifies as a man, and it’d be rude to refer to him as a ‘lunch lady.’” Huh. Dani wouldn’t have really thought about that even a couple months ago, but that was a good point. 
“Maybe he likes being referred to as a lunch lady. Maybe he finds it funny.” Ah, Tucker. He was doing his best, but Dani could hear the way his voice was shaking. Not that she was much better, gripping onto Tucker’s arm hard enough that it was probably going numb.
Before the ‘fight’ could continue, there was another clanging sound, like something heavy and metal hitting the floor. It had all three of them poorly stifling their screams as they jumped into each other hard enough to nearly send them to the ground. Dani wasn’t sure how they managed to catch their balance, but all three of them stayed standing.
Dani hadn’t even looked up from making sure her feet weren’t about to trip over each other again when she felt static rolling across her skin, nowhere near as strong as it had been earlier, but enough to make her snap her head up to see that there was some light in the kitchen. 
And it was coming from a ghost. 
Dani couldn’t tear her gaze away even as she wanted to look at her friends’ faces to see if they were seeing the same thing. Judging by the way Tucker was now gripping her arm tightly enough to bruise, she had to assume they were. 
“Oh dear, oh dear… No, no, this is all wrong.” The actual real life ghost in front of them was speaking and mumbling to herself like some fretful old lady who had forgotten something. It was definitely a ghost, though, because Dani could see through her to the wall of pots and pans behind her. She could also see the way she was floating seven inches off the ground. (Seven? Six? It was enough to be noticeable!)
“Oh, hello, dearies.” Ah. The ghost had seen them. The ghost was now talking to them. “Could you tell me who changed the menu?”
Dani opened her mouth to maybe pray to some god she wasn’t sure she actually believed in when Tucker beat her to it. “Do you mean all the salads and junk that Sam added?” 
That was enough to get Dani to turn her head to look at him, shocked that one of her best friends was that stupid. He was even pointing at Sam! Who looked just as incredulous! Yeah, okay, there was no accounting for what someone said when they were going through shock and extreme amounts of fear, but still! 
“Oh. You changed the menu?” The ghost who looked like a lunch lady straight out of the fifties with a pink uniform and hair net and gloves and everything was looking at Sam now and Dani was really hoping that this was some weird dream she would wake up from after falling asleep at lunch. Or maybe they were mass hallucinating. That was a thing, right? “You changed the menu.” Oh. That wasn’t a question that time.
Before Dani could say anything, she saw some of the pots behind the ghost beginning to float up into the air, wrapped in the same glowing light that came from the ghost — who was looking a lot angrier than she had a second- Holy fucking shit. 
Staring with wide eyes at the huge cast iron pot that had slammed into the wall hard enough to dent it after just barely missing Sam’s head, Dani was pretty sure her brain went offline for a couple of seconds in shock. She then decided she could go into shock when she was dead and shoved Tucker hard enough that she might as well have body-checked him before doing the same to Sam and screaming, “Run!” 
It was then Danny who turned back and kept himself between the ghost and his friends.
Let me be brave, Danny thought to himself fiercely, because Danny wasn’t the shy, meek little girl who avoided any sign of confrontation and tried her best to be quiet. Danny was someone who was learning to speak up for himself and was bad at it, but was trying. Danny was the one who was starting to let himself take up space and try to figure out just who he was. 
So it was Danny who grabbed the fallen pot off the ground as his friends ran and threw it up into the air at another one that had been flying towards them. Through some miracle of luck it actually managed to hit, the two making a loud clanging sound that hurt his ears and had him hurrying out the door after his friends.
He didn’t bother to waste his breath to tell his friends to keep running, only shoving them forward when he saw they had slowed down to make sure he was behind them. He made sure it was a decently powerful shove considering he heard more pots clanging into the walls and door of the kitchen, the cafeteria now empty with no witnesses which meant no one to see what the hell was going on. 
It wasn’t until they were a couple of hallways away, all empty since everyone who didn’t have a deadly sense of curiosity was in class, that Tucker was squeaking out a high-pitched, “What the hell?!” 
“Inside, inside, inside,” Sam chanted, jerking open a door into an empty classroom before pushing them all inside and then shutting and locking it. Danny watched as her legs gave out and she slid down to the floor, Tucker not doing much better as he propped himself up against a desk. “That- That was… Was that really-?”
“That was a ghost.” Tucker’s face was paler than Danny had ever seen and enough to spur him into grabbing a chair and dragging it over before pushing him into it. “That was actually- Ghosts can’t do shit like that- Ghosts aren’t real like that!” 
Still gasping for breath he didn’t have, and knowing his heart was going way too fast, Danny finally managed a weak, “That wasn’t a ghost.” As soon as his friends looked at him like he was insane, he shook his head. “No, listen, that- That was everything my parents have ever told me about. That was an ectoplasmic entity or whatever it is that they’ve been studying.” Which meant… “Holy shit, they were right.” 
“Dani, girl-”
“Boy again. Sorry.” 
“Danny, man, I love you, but what the hell does that have to do with what’s going on right now? And the fact that we’re about to die?” 
Making a note to beam over Tucker’s casual acceptance of how he was switching between genders like dresses before a party, Danny forced himself to focus and dug out his phone. “It means that we can call my parents and they can come down here and actually do something about it.” 
Pulling up his contacts quickly, Danny heard Sam muttering something before her voice pitched up in something between offense, rage, and hurt, “You ratted me out to a ghost?” 
“I panicked! I thought-! She looked like my grandma, I didn’t think she’d suddenly start throwing kitchenware at us!” Alright. That was a decent point, actually. 
Phone ringing, Danny blew out a breath when it connected and he heard his mom’s voice. “Danielle? Sweetie, what’s wrong? You’re supposed to be in class right now, aren’t you?” 
“Mom-” Voice breaking, Danny realized just how tense and terrified he still was, all his energy thrumming under his skin like static before lightning struck. (He really needed to stop focusing on the static and lightning analogies, if only so he could stop remembering how much he had screamed.) “Mom, I need you and Dad to come to the school, right now.” 
“Danielle, honey, we’re right in the middle of our work. Something odd is happening with the EMD and we need to figure it out before it can cause any problems. Are you having a bad day? I can call Jazz and she should be able to come and pick you up-”
“You were right!” Danny blurted out, loud enough that Sam and Tucker both jumped and rattled the door and chair they were each leaning against or on. “Everything you ever said about- About ghosts and ectoplasm and all of it, you were right, okay? Everything. You were right and we’re looking at the proof and you need to get down here right now!”
Silent. The other end was silent and Danny felt ready to scream as he pulled his phone away to make sure the call hadn’t dropped. There was nothing but a black screen, Danny clicking the power button to bring up the call. Nothing showed up. He clicked it again, a couple times, and it was like a dawning horror to realize his phone had just died. 
“Shit,” Danny muttered, trying a couple more times before giving up and shoving it into his pocket, other hand held out towards Tucker. “Phone. Mine died.” 
Tucker nodded and moved to get it, Danny snapping his hand back with a sharp gasp as that same feeling from lunch, that same burning jolt of static, shot through him with enough force to have him stumbling away and looking around the room as if something was about to jump out at him. 
He wasn’t wrong. 
The ghost from earlier was suddenly in the middle of the room, both his friends jumping to their feet with enough force to send them stumbling back. The look of fear in their eyes had Danny’s skyrocketing, but at the same time it made him feel angry. 
“You dare change the menu?! The menu has been the same for fifty years! Fifty years of tradition! Of getting it right! And you would dare change it?!” 
Let me be brave, Danny thought once again, watching as one of the desks glowed with that strange energy and light the same as the pots had. Danny saw where it was going to hit as it flung itself through the air on a trajectory right towards Sam. 
Before he could even think he was moving, hands outstretched and shoving Sam away and into Tucker, knowing he would catch Sam. He then braced himself to feel a whole lot of pain as the desk flew- Right by him? 
Okay. Well. He wasn’t about to question his luck there when the desk was in splinters against the wall and they now had a clear shot to the door, Danny shoving them forward with another command to, “Run! Outside!”
His friends didn’t question it and began running at once, Tucker panting out strained words as they rounded the corner. “Danny, that desk- It went through you!” 
“Yeah. I know. Really close miss,” Danny panted out himself, the burn in his lungs starting to remind him really clearly that his doctors had talked about him having problems with breathing at his last check-up. “Talk later.”
“No, man, it went through you!” Okay, they would have time to talk about Tucker’s fear hallucinations later, Danny decided. 
“Outside, outside,” Danny said, raising his voice so Sam could hear, who was already making the turn for the front doors. “We need to get out. Lead it to my parents!” If they could get to his house — or more accurately if they could get to ‘Fenton Works,’ his parents would probably have something in the lab that could deal with everything. 
“We- We can’t!” Tucker gasped like he was about to stop breathing, Danny slowing just enough to make sure he could keep Tucker ahead of him and catch him if he collapsed as they raced down the stairs and out onto the front lawn of the school. Unlike Danny’s possible likelihood, Tucker did have asthma. “We can’t skip school!” 
“Get your priorities straight!” Sam shouted back, enough breath in her lungs to yell at them. It was extremely unfair, in Danny’s opinion. What was more unfair was that the ghost or ectoplasmic entity or demon or whatever it was was right in front of them again, like all their running hadn’t even mattered. It also had grabbed Sam by the wrist and jerked her to a stop harshly enough that Sam let out a short scream. 
Danny didn’t even think. He didn’t stop, or scream, or gasp, or anything. He just kept running, fear and anger pounding through him at seeing Sam’s terrified face, before he slammed into the ghostly lunch lady that was looking at them with burning red eyes. He was honestly surprised when he made contact, and apparently so was the ghost since he saw her grip on Sam loosen enough that she was able to free herself. 
“Danny!” The warning came a second too late, Danny wincing as it was his arm grabbed that time. He heard Sam scream again, and Tucker too, but it was a little hard to be sure when all of his focus was on the searing pain in his arm as he was lifted off the ground higher, and higher, and higher-! Too fast, this was all going too fast, he couldn’t even think-
“Now, dearie, it’s quite rude to interfere,” the ghost chided him like he was a misbehaving child, Danny swinging almost twenty or thirty feet up from the ground and trying to hold back a scream. The pain in his arm was enough to make him think it was dislocated, all of his weight hanging by the grip around his wrist. “This should fix that, and you should be just fine, even. Just a few broken bones, is all, I think!” 
Danny looked up at the ghost who smiled at him like she was being genuine and just putting him in some sort of time-out before he realized he was falling through the air. 
For a brief second that had to have been controlled by hysteria Danny decided the feeling of falling through the air felt like when he had jumped from a swing as a kid or when coming down after bouncing too high on a trampoline. 
The next second had the panic overwhelm him, a voiceless thought that he didn’t want to feel that much pain again, but it was quickly drowned out by fear that Sam and Tucker were next. 
He didn’t give a shit if he got hurt along the way, but he was not going to let some insane research of his parents hurt his best friends. He wouldn’t. He wouldn’t. No matter what it took, he was going to protect them-!
A sudden jerk had him stopping in his descent, Danny braced for the pain. He instead felt a wave of shock at there being none. He then realized there was no pain because instead of hitting the ground, he was floating a few inches above it. 
In the seconds before he dropped the last few inches to the ground, Danny looked at Sam and Tucker to see they were stunned, completely still and silent. He also looked at the ghost who looked as scared as he felt. 
A part of him wanted to just sit there and just give into the urge to sob in terror, but then he realized what he was looking at. She was scared. That meant there was something that could stop her. 
Rolling over and shoving himself up onto his knees, Danny saw the ghost was still up in the air, still too surprised to move yet. Danny, now an expert at pushing his panic attacks away until later, furiously tried to think on what he could do. 
A whisper. 
A nudge to his back. 
A swirl of soft blues and purple that he couldn’t see but somehow knew was there, the faintest, Backpack. 
Following the nudge, Danny didn’t stop to think as he ran for Tucker and turned him around before he ripped his backpack open, ignoring Tucker’s sputtering and squirming. Instead he found just what he had been looking for. 
He had almost forgotten, but that time at the lab, on the day of the Accident, he had seen Tucker grab something from one of the tables. He had probably been wanting to play around with it and see what it did, but Danny remembered his dad talking about it. It was an old thermos he had converted into a container for ectoplasmic energy. 
He had no idea how it worked, absolutely no clue if it would do anything towards the ghost that had almost tried to kill him, but he didn’t let himself hesitate. 
Let me be brave, Danny thought as loudly as he could, ripping the cap off the thermos and fumbling to turn it around towards the ghost that was quickly getting over her shock. Let me protect them!
“Soup isn’t on the menu, child.” The ghost was smirking like she was someone who knew they couldn’t be hurt, but Danny forced himself to not believe it. She had been scared, after all. 
She had been scared and so, with every scrap of hope he had left inside of him, Danny held up the themors and pressed the bright green button on the side of it. 
There was a moment — a second — where nothing happened and Danny felt like his heart was about to throw up. Then he felt the metal in his hands heat up with enough force and speed that it took everything in him to not drop the container, eyes wide as a beam of bright white light or energy or something shot out and hit the ghost directly. 
Danny braced himself as he felt the container vibrate in his hands, the ghost screaming as it looked like she was almost being pulled into the thing. He expected her to rip away from it and escape until the last second when both the ghost and the energy coiled back in on itself, Danny capping the thermos without thought. 
“Sorry, lady,” Danny said, a laugh of what was definitely hysteria leaving him as he suddenly felt a million pounds heavier, not helped at all when he heard what might have been his parents starting to shout at him. Or maybe it was Sam and Tucker? “But it looks like lunch is over.” 
Letting out a breath, Danny tried to figure out just what to do with a container that had a ghost in it like straight out of an old sci-fi movie. He also tried to figure out how he was going to explain this to his parents and maybe even the teachers. 
He then realized the black at the edges of his vision hadn’t gone away — had only grown stronger — and that was probably a bad thing. 
After that, all he knew was that it was dark and quiet and he was tired. 
A nap would be fine, right?
If you enjoyed this story then check out my Writing Commissions either here on Tumblr or at my personal Website.
…or, if you prefer, you can just buy me a ko-fi! ☕  …or, if you have a nice allowance, support me on Patreon! 🪶
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lesharl-eclair · 1 year ago
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simi fic recs pt. 1
um i wrote half of this at 2am so.. any errors mine ::::) heed the tags etc etc i think this doesnt; need to be saisd
all fics below the cut; if you enjoyed these fics, please show the authors comment and kudo love; should you be the author of a fic that's here, and don't want to be here, please reach out to me and your wish is my command :)
individual fics first as always!
maybe just a little by neonbreadsticks (G, 4.1k)
Kimi doesn’t remember much these days. Only the soft glow of the sunlight through the beige curtains, and the smell of the flowers in the garden before they bloom. The sound of a beat-up Aston Martin idling in his driveway and his dustless shelves in his living room. The curve of Seb’s lips, pulled back against his cheeks, the crows feet that only appear when he laughs at things beyond Kimi’s level of understanding.  Kimi doesn’t remember much these days, but he remembers enough.
ok fr i cried (and proceeded to write this)
this is one of my all-time favourite simi fics because of how beautiful it is - their story isn't over-embellished, it's just given a lot of space to shine. there's a certain heartache that comes w/ the added complication of ferrari & discarding of naivete & us vs the world levels of heroic framing & the idea that seb isn't ok but kimi's there that makes the fic really bring on the waterworks for me.
***
to survive the tides by @shih-coulda-had-it (T, 4.6k)
The surge of want nearly overwhelmed Sebastian’s impulse control, sorely tested since the beginning of their partnership in Ferrari, and now so worn and tattered that Sebastian almost said, ‘Yes, go ahead, take whatever you want, I will give it to you.’ Sebastian Vettel attends the 2018 FIA Prize Giving.
OH MY GOD i spent an embarrasingly long time making sure it was actually your tumblr hehehaha.
something really special about the way you wrote the interactions. everything is incredibly true to life (warily impressed at the amount of research you must have done)
there's a sense of restrained tension slash want slash bittersweet something that runs through this entire thing. am very compelled. every time i reread this it's a different experience.
***
to the finnish line by @rosyjuly (E, 3.2k)
"It’s the perfect car to have some fun. Might even take the roof down.” They do. They also take Charles back to their hotel room.
can i just say i let out a very embarrassing noise when i realised who the author was on tumblr like oh my GOD. OH my goddd
SIMI DOMESTICITY SHINING THROUGH??? as unlikely as it seems in such a fic. inside jokes. the very questionable power dynamics lol. seriously torn about how to feel for charles. very brilliant unexpected characterisation.
***
what a thing to choose by @thereisstillalifetolive (E, 2/2, 10.1k)
If someone had asked Kimi what he thought about Seb’s acting ability prior to this he would’ve laughed in their face, Iceman or not. Because while Seb’s ability to talk circles around a question he doesn’t want to answer is unparalleled, a reasonably trained goldfish could discern how he feels about it. Except. Right now, Kimi’s not entirely certain what year he’s actually in.
still don't know how to talk about this fic coherently it was one of the holyshit moments for me
there are still some tiny sweet moments that shine through. amidst all the Stuff going on. and the vulnerability becomes all the more devastating. like yes this is ageplay this is performance (to some extent) but it's also very real. characterisation is breathtaking, sex speaks for itself, possessive kimi + desperate seb is hmmmmhmmhm. rearranging my brain.
***
thanks for reading, etc. there's loooots more simi fic recs coming your way if i can be bothered
as always, if you enjoyed this, or if i missed any fic, please let me know :) drop me an ask for any ship if you're dying to see something!
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tinacentury · 1 year ago
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Fic Writer Asks
Been a minute since I crawled out of my cave here, but an ask game remains the best way for me to do so. Thanks for the tag, @folklauerate!
How many works do you have on AO3?
21. Here they are so I don't have to link them all below.
What's your total AO3 word count?
107,797
What fandoms do you write for?
I was vehemently a one-fandom (Sailor Moon) person until Bridgerton season 2 came crashing into my life. I've accepted being a two-fandom writer now, but it's still weird.
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
These are skewed because the Bridgerton fandom is bigger, so, by fandom:
Bridgerton: Follow the Sparks, An Involuntary Thing, Unframeable, Mine to Keep Warm, Canis caminan non est
Sailor Moon: Belonging, Familial Eyes, Win a Date with Tuxedo Mask!, Contrition, What Wasn't Said
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I definitely try to, but I fall behind. I like the fandom engagement piece of responding to comments and talking to friends and readers, but when it becomes an expectation at the expense of my sanity, I let myself off the hook. That's generally the approach that has worked best for me with all things fandom-related. This is supposed to be a hobby, not a chore.
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Contrition.
Do you get hate on fics?
Haven't gotten anything I would really describe as hate yet, but I have gotten some "this is boring" comments, and just recently had someone decide my comment section was the ideal place to talk about current world events. I do think it's absurd that we live in a world where I had to turn comment moderation on because of this.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
It's not my main focus, but yes. I'm not sure what it says about me that smut writing comes more easily to me in Bridgerton writing than it ever did in Sailor Moon writing.
Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Nope!
Have you ever had a fic translated?
Nope!
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Hard nope!
What's your all-time favorite ship?
I think it has to be a tie between Kanthony and Usamamo. Usamamo has the stronger history, being that I've shipped it since I was 11, and while I'm not super active in that fandom right now (tbh is anyone?), I won't be at all surprised if/when I get inspired to dive back in. Kanthony pulled me in the same way Usamamo did, so I can't not include them here.
What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
Given my update speed, I tend to lean towards "never say never", but things don't look good for that Contrition sequel I've been banging on about since 2019.
What are your writing strengths?
I think I'm pretty good with dialogue; it comes more easily to me than all the other moving pieces. Went through a phase during which my writing got compared to poetry a lot, but I don't think I've been able to pull that off in any of my Bridgerton work yet.
What are your writing weaknesses?
I can tell you they're all tied to perfectionism -- speed, anything that happens in between dialogue making things sound pretty instead of dry and academic (damn that too many years of schooling), over-explaining things, and writing the same damn kiss the same damn way multiple times.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for fic?
Lol tell me you came of age in the 2000s without telling me. I would sprinkle it into Sailor Moon stuff, but there's a fine line between "this is useful" and "this reads like a geocities fanfic site from 1999." I haven't done it with Bridgerton just because I don't know enough, but I'll definitely ask @folklauerate and @hydriotaphia if I ever do!
First fandom you wrote for?
Sailor Moon when I was very, very, very young (cool that an eighth-grader did this, but not cool enough to show to anyone ever).
Favorite fic you've ever written?
-The Benedict chapter of An Involuntary Thing
-Despite a whole host of issues, 5 Years
This was fun and took me back! Tagging @kasienda, @penny-loaf, and @daikon1
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stevetonyweekly · 2 years ago
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SteveTony Weekly - Jan 8th
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 Hey friends! I shared a twitter thread of my favorite Stevetony fics ever to celebrate 2 years on Twitter--feel free to check it out. 
And here’s this week’s reading! Enjoy and remember to toss a kudos to your fic writer! 
~*~ 
jealousy is all the fun you think they had by kellifer_fic
Is it socially acceptable to be jealous of your boyfriend's ex-dead best friend?
Therapeutic Guidelines by kellifer_fic
"Are you suggesting I get a bunch of bunk beds in here and squeeze us all into one room?" Tony scoffs and the woman just looks at him. "No, wait-"
If At First by kellifer_fic
Where Tony is stupid and Steve has been waiting for a long time.
Turn Around (Three Times Before Lying Down) by kellifer_fic
Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy, billionaire philanthropist, but what they don’t know is that he’s also a werewolf. When a government agency known as SHIELD finds out, they use this information to force Tony’s hand and bring him into a new elite lycan field team, codename The Avengers Initiative.
Suddenly Tony finds himself playing host to a bunch of lycans, a misplaced God of Thunder and an experimental supersoldier that isn’t as dead as everyone assumed. Can his week get any worse?
Of Sex Tapes and Their Unexpected Consequenses by chemically_yours
After Tony's sex tape hits the news, Steve finds himself curious.
Sotto Voce by Woad 
Tony's motto is better to give than to receive. With Steve, that's a must.
Mine by Raikishi
Don’t people learn? Steve’s kicked faces in for less.
My Corner's Always Open For You, Sweetheart by Gothic_Lolita
Steve knew coming to this part of the city only ever meant one thing. Good thing that was exactly the thing he was looking for.
Just Give Me Your Jacket, Cap by MountainRose
Tony's young, he gets that they have 'legal responsibility' for him, but sometimes it means a bit more than keeping him on the right road.
Dressed to Impress by radiophile
Tony Stark is not at all prepared for the sight of Steve Rogers in vintage military dress.
life as a tree house by kellifer_fic
Tony finds out that when it comes to Avengers, you can't adopt just one.
life as a tree house extension by kellifer_fic
So, it turns out Tony isn't exactly sure what to do with a whole bunch of Avengers once he has them all under one roof.
even the cake was in tiers by kellifer_fic
I'm pretty sure I'm married to Steve Rogers.
What, Like It's Hard? by JehBeeEh
Omega Tony Stark has it all, until his alpha boyfriend breaks his heart. In an effort to win him back, he follows the alpha of his dreams to Harvard Law School, where he discovers there might be more to being the first omega at the prestigious school. He also meets another alpha that might just make him forget the one he drove across the country for.
Countdown by iL0Vsuperman
In a world where people use timer implants to help find their soulmates, you would think finding your soulmate and love would be easy.
But…
Steve had a soul implant that was zeroed out, meaning he did not have a countdown to meet a soulmate. Steve easily reasoned he did not have a soulmate because he had bad genes, a common belief of his era. Despite this, he prayed for his implant to reset and to meet the person who would accept him for all he is.
Tony created a program for soulmates to find each other faster just so he could meet his soulmate before he turned 40. But, his soulmate never used the program, and it made Tony bitter and eventually begin to hate his mate.
Bucky had a zeroed out implant like Steve and, like Steve, prayed for his implant to reset. His prayers were answered, however, it was years later, when he was no longer his own person, when he was no longer Bucky, just, the Winter Soldier. He was not allowed to own anything, not even his own body, nonetheless a soulmate.
Natasha received the soul implant when she was indoctrinated into the Black Widow Program and, with it, was given her first mission to prove her loyalty: kill her soulmate.
One Thing Leads to Another by missbecky 
Following the events in Avengers Tower on Christmas Eve, Steve resolves to ask Tony what he meant by calling him Captain Handsome. It's a simple question, and it should be a simple answer. He just never thought that it would lead him to some surprising revelations about the truth of his feelings for Tony.
I, for You by Renai_chan
In which Tony is a sub and Howard needs Steve to be his Dom.
mock me with praise by nanasekei
“You should rest. I… I have a quite comfortable couch, you know.”
Steve widened his eyes. “No,” he replied harshly, so blunt that Stark seemed taken aback, which somehow prompted him to add, a little lighter, “There’s no need.”
“You can’t sleep on the floor, darling,” Stark argued. The nickname, as always, fueled fire in Steve’s chest, and he wanted to run away and also to fight Stark at the same time. “Come on. I owe you.”
-
After waking up in a frenzy from a nightmare, Steve ends up locking himself out of his apartment. His hallway neighbor offers some help.
If Only by FestiveFerret
Steve wasn't gay. He wasn't. He'd know that about himself. He had no problem whatsoever with men who were attracted to men - he was dating one of them - but it wasn't him.
Touch and Go by FestiveFerret
In his defense, Tony thought Steve would back down. 
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