A girl makes a Twitter post that reads: Eddie Munson is on my flight and he’s currently arguing with the man next to him about his dog. Kinda a dick move ngl
They follow up with a post that says; NVM. I googled it. He’s arguing with his husband about their dog.
Follow up: EM thinks the dog should have the middle seat. Husband thinks dog should sit in aisle seat.
Follow up: Cute that they bought a ticket for their dog. Some people don’t.
Follow up: Insane to willingly sit in the middle seat tho
Follow up: EM says they’ll have extra leg room if the dog is in the middle. Hubs says dog should be on end so people can pet him as they go by
Follow up: They are so loud lmao. EM basically told the entire airport that you shouldn’t pet service dogs when they’re working. So true bestie
Follow up: Husband: Okay. Okay. Just say you don’t want to sit next to me if you don’t want to sit next to me!
Follow up: Munson: When did I say that? I didn’t say that. Just sit down wherever you want and eat your fucking granola. Cranky ass.
Follow up: Actually, I don’t think they’re arguing. I think this is flirting.
An Eddie Munson Fan: They’re definitely flirting
Fan who has seen every ‘Steddie’ TikTok in existence: Pretty sure this is just foreplay for them.
Someone else: Wait, who won the argument?
Official Corroded Coffin Twitter Account: Oz *pic of Ozzy sitting in the window seat*
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A regular came in a few evenings ago. A young mom with her daughter who often comes in the morning. She also often treats the baristas badly, but that’s a different story.
She came in at an unusual time with her daughter on her hip. The little girl looked sick to me - puffy eyes and a red nose and a tight, unhappy pinch to her mouth.
The mom ordered her sweets. Sensing something was wrong, I tried to stay upbeat and to engage the little girl but neither mom or daughter were interested. I turned to collect their order.
“See? Daddy made you sad but mommy makes it better, right?”
My mouth soured and my hands paused in making their drinks. The revulsion was physical, a hollowing in my stomach that sounded like a vacuum in my ears. A ghostly hand settled against the back of my neck and stole the heat from my veins.
Im an adult now. The justifications came to mind a microsecond behind the horror and tried to overwhelm it. Mom is tired, mom just wants little girl to feel better, daddy also made mommy sad. Sometimes the big lessons are learned on other days, sometimes it’s okay to make the day better with sweets, sometimes you don’t have the strength to fight the battles you’re supposed to fight—
I handed out the pastry.
She said again, “Daddy made you cry and mommy made it better.”
The little girl looked into her pastry bag and didn’t look up.
No, i wanted to say. No, mommy didnt make it better. Mommy is part of the problem, mommy is saying your feelings are only worth a cake pop and a juice, mommy is siding with daddy who made you cry so hard that you look like a child left in the cold.
“Would you like a sticker?” I asked. She did and she took one and I took too much comfort in the fragile return of her smile before leaving the cafe.
I should have said more. I’m sorry you’re sad. I see that you’re sad. It matters that you’re sad.
Did I become part of this terrible lesson by joining in? Here’s a pastry, here’s a sticker, see? Didn’t we make it all better?
I closed the cafe.
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Darling heart, I loved you from the start
About when she got her introduction and you got a dog’s toy thrown at you
》 Alexia Putellas x Reader
》 words count: +1k
》 every dog has its day [idiom]: said to emphasise that everyone is successful or happy at some time in their life
“What the fuck is that?!”
You both barely make it into your apartment, hands leaving the handle to hold firmly around each other’s clothes.
Alexia’s defined figure is pressed between your body and the shut door, her thigh shamelessly pushing on you and her lips attacking your jaw and pulsing points.
At least it is until something distracts her.
You look around your dark apartment, quite annoyed about the interruption, spotting the cause of her sudden hesitation.
“Alexia, meet my dog Oliver. Oliver, meet my fuck buddy Alexia”
The blonde’s reply comes in the form of a smack on your arm, eyes still fixed on the pet.
“He’s not a dog, he’s a bear”
“Are you calling my sweet boy fat?”
“He’s taller than you!”
She’s not completely wrong, the German Shepherd can look quite intimidating. The fact he’s somehow still put in the middle of the room, imposing on his four muscular legs with a curious tilt of his head, does not work in his favour.
The light is now switched on, you leave Alexia by the door to take the steps toward Oliver and greet him with affection. He relaxes at the attention, eyes still fixed on the new guest, but he’s definitely enjoying your hands on his dark fur.
“What’s the matter? You knew I have a dog”, the starring context is starting to ruin your mood, “You too─”
“Nala’s a cute little bubble of fluff, he’s─ not”
“Oliver is as sweet as Nala, aren’t you?”
Finally able to please your dog enough to get his full attention, he jumps on your front excited to have his favourite person back home and you have to put a great effort to avoid his wet greetings.
“Now I’m definitely not kissing you again, maybe ever”
“Bold statement for someone who could barely wait for the car to be parked before slipping her tongue in my─”, she finds a dog’s toy lying around to throw at you before you can finish your sentence.
Wrong move, Oliver decides that Alexia’s worth his attention and takes her action as an invite to play.
You have to recall all your dog’s training hours and hide your amusement to make sure the blonde doesn’t leave your apartment traumatised by Oliver’s enthusiasm and that he doesn’t destroy the place.
You manage to leave him entertained in the living room as you lead Alexia into your bedroom, hoping to get back to business.
When you try to kiss her, she covers your face with her hand and lightly pushes you toward the bathroom.
“No, wash your face first!”
“He will grow on you”
~
Oliver grew on Alexia. Slowly, but he grew on her.
On the other hand, your relationship grows a bit faster. Late meetups once or twice a week turn into daily texts and sleepovers, quick coffees on the way each to your own separate lives turn into dinner dates and breakfast in your friends’ favourite places.
That’s how you find yourself on the stand of a football camp, watching two dozen or so women dressed in colourful kits running around a ball and trying to kick it better than one another.
The open-door training day allows you to observe Alexia in her natural habitat without pressure on either of you.
She knows you understand close to nothing about football, the sport never able to grab your attention for more than a couple of minutes.
You met Alexia in a club during her off-season, not impressed at all when a mutual friend tried to let you realise how famous she actually is. You were more focused on her exposed stomach and her quip remarks, to be honest.
However, since you started with the Catalan whatever it is you two started, you managed to find some interest in the sport.
Alexia looks stunning in that ridiculous kit, toned legs and imposing manners on display for you to enjoy. Oliver, beside you, seems pretty involved in the all commotion too, barking loudly whenever a familiar blonde has the ball.
When the session comes to an end, her team takes the time to thank the fans for showing up and for their support. It’s only a matter of time before Oliver takes the spotlight on himself, letting young boys and girls pet him eagerly and gathering some of Alexia’s teammates around him.
“Best wingman ever”, you say to the blonde, loud enough for one of her friends to hear as she laughs and nudges her.
“If only they knew how annoying he actually is”, Alexia whispers directly to your ear.
Both of you take advantage of the distraction created by your dog, walking a couple of steps away from the crowd. Oliver doesn’t get overwhelmed easily and he’s good with kids, so you trust him enough to let him enjoy the praises for some moments.
“He lives for the attention”
“He remembers me of someone, no less with a royal title”
“You’re so lucky there are kids around”, she says as she smiles at a little girl and drops to her height for a picture.
You have the decency to wait for the young mind to leave before taking a step closer to Alexia and whispering, “I’m sure I’m gonna get luckier once there will not be kids around”.
Oliver’s barks stop any comments from the captain.
~
When you come back from an early walkout with an overexcited dog at your heels, you find Alexia in your kitchen wearing just an oversized top and a smug smile.
“Mamá wants to meet you”, she covers her mouth with her self-proclaimed mug.
She’s getting more and more comfortable around your apartment lately, so you let her have the mug and a designated spot on your sofa and you don’t point out her vintage t-shirt collection taking up more space in your closet.
“I met her”, your eyebrow rises in challenge as said mug hides her red cheeks.
“Properly, idiota!”
You both can agree that the woman rushing into the blonde’s apartment, happily bringing a freshly made dinner, but finding you in a compromising position on top of her daughter is not the best way to be introduced.
You still don’t know how to introduce each other in the first place.
“Do you want me to meet her?”
“I met Oliver”
Your dog is currently lying on Alexia’s feet, you catch her giving him bits of her breakfast despite repriming both of them multiple times.
She still insists on saying she doesn’t like him, his excited nature and imposing form too much to deal with. Oliver, as the naive huge animal he is, seems not to care about her initial detachment, always happy to have the Catalan around.
Almost as the Catalan herself.
“You throw a toy at me and won him over, he is a simple boy”
“I think if you do the same, mamá will be as amused”
“Are you gonna introduce me the same way I introduced you?”
“How about we make it official?”
“I’m not sure”, you try to look sceptical as you catch your dog’s attention, “What do you think, Oliver?”
Enthusiastic barks and open laughs fill the room at your question.
fine.
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