#life after covid
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I realized something today and I think it's important. I've often remarked that college was the last time I felt like my life was on track. For the longest time I thought it was the sense of stability I had from having a goal and an evolving plan to achieve that goal.
Now I'm realizing it's because I had irl friends in college that I spent copious amounts of time with. I went to social clubs on campus like 4 times a week. I hung out with a group of close friends as often as possible. I had a social life and I fed my inner extrovert on fatted calf, as it were.
And then covid happened, and we were reduced to hanging out over the internet, and I havent found a space where I can be myself, have fun with similar people, and not spend too much money.
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Life After Covid - 19 animation original storyboard
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed
#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something#except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me)#but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along#and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person#who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭#i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away#I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode#which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens#i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni#it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry#sorry I'm a little drunk
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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Your ChatGPT IT class story is absolute insanity what the fuuuuck? But good on you for refusing to engage with it until you were forced to 🫡 respect
yea fuck IT classes are just so half-assed and dysfunctional here, like school system is awfully outdated and just doesn't fit the technological development nowadays. it's always do one thing, show it to teacher, get a grade and call it a day because what else can you learn there. I remember having an entire 45 min long class just about creating a new folder and then making more folders in that folder
#I really pity the old lady we had IT classes with in high school though#poor woman had severe complications after covid and my classmates just kept bothering her with shitass music and videos of a guy farting#its not her fault its the system... and students being dicks but still mostly system#cant say i agreed with her all the time. especially that geepeetee task#or making students design promotional graphics for the school for free as a normal class task#she was still one of the sweetest teachers in my school imo. allowing boys to play their music without punishment#because she didnt want to punish anyone really. may life and that shit job have mercy on her#cloud has been asked
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It was a certain baddie's birthday yesterday!!!🌙🎂🥩🐾🐺
#monster high#monster high fanart#clawdeen wolf#cleo de nile#toralei stripe#image described#sorry its a day late#ended up working a longer shift at work than expected after not getting any sleep the night before#also probably definitely have covid again#and i just had a devastating death in minecraft my life is in shambles#my art#sabz art#anyway always a delight to draw clawdeen with her two ghoulfriends who hate each other
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Wyvernne....Wyvernne.. if you can hear us, please write us another Diluc fanfics... I fear literature is dying (lack of Diluc fanfics nowadays)... Wyvernne please hear us 😭🙏
i promise ya girl is trying 😭 i’ve been slow because of law school in general but i regret to inform everyone it’ll be even worse this year since it’s my last. i’m taking the professional ethics exam soon followed by the bar next summer so i’ll probably be brain dead but i’ll write when i can 🥲 the see you through til the day’s end rewrite really is pretty much done, i just need to pull together the mental fortitude to edit it lol
#it doesn’t help that i randomly got covid and then a kidney infection at the end of the summer ripppppp#and my cat had a cancer scare#i had my own health scare after that like wtf???#like can life chill out? i’m so tired 😭
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cannot believe i've been put on god's green earth to experience horrors
#emails i'm talking about emails#and clients in general#i've had an automatic message going all of last week because i had covid and it was Real Bad#(long story short - bossman's man flu was not man flu after all and i found out while hacking my lung out the weekend before)#like my ooo literally says i am on sick leave and not monitoring my emails and all the emails that i'm going through are:#hi sarah i know you're not well but can you make an exception for me for [thing that is not urgent]#OR even more infuriatingly :#hi sarah i sent you X emails but you have not replied can you reply to me asap#like...................???????#lord i can't be doing this for the next 30 years of my life and i think i've passed the mark where i can be a sugar baby WHAT ARE MY OPTION#sarah talks about herself#work stories
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LOVEDRUNK DIGITAL VERSION IS NOW AVAILABLE
it took me so long but Lovedrunk digital version is now available on my Ko-Fi shop! here's the link to digital version 🌟 https://ko-fi.com/s/cf7b1d96d9
thank you for everyone who have bought the book. i've sent postcard to print and orders will be shipped within next weekend, sorry for the delay and thanks again for everything, this couldn't happen without all of your support 😭
life story for why it gotten so delayed is that i've got covid right after i sent the book to printing house and i was bedridden for almost 1 week, i fully recovered on the 3rd weeks and not to mention all the life stuffs because i'm a single girl with a big girl job so i'm really grateful for every messages and all your patience. i love you all.
i'm also back taking comms and stuff again so feel free to send me messages or email. please not mean one, i'm very small and sensitive 🥹
#myart#obikin#star wars#obi wan kenobi#anakin skywalker#fanart#zine stuff#small update abt my life#after 3 years i've got covid#i've survived
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You know, I am thoroughly convinced that society as a whole is deeply traumatized by the onset of the pandemic a few years ago, and is handling it now in a way that can best be described as “ignoring the problem.”
Nobody wears masks, nobody stays home when sick, nothing changes. And people who get COVID…are kind of. Not given what they need?
I have COVID rn. Or at least did; I’m in recovery at this point. Caught it from a career fair where a bunch of people were packed together unmasked, I think. But holy shit, people do not want to give me any accommodations for this. I was stuck home deathly ill and my profs wanted me to do all my work anyways.
As it stands right now, I’m nervous. I am no longer fevered and I can keep the cough suppressed, but going out (as I tried to do today, unsuccessfully) triggers all the aches and pains and coughing to come back in full force. There seems to be an underlying push towards “get on with it” from my profs. If I push too hard right now I risk serious complications, though, and so here I’m sitting in a situation that wasn’t my fault and being asked to decide between potentially failing a semester of uni or having permanent health issues.
If the purpose of a system is what it does, I think the system is trying to deal with COVID by crushing its victims underfoot.
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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The problem when you're trying to check that your weight loss isn't excessive is that most of the results are either people discussing (fake) miracle diets or being like "of you drop more than 4.5kg/5% bodyweight in 6 months/a year it could be cancer"
And I'm sitting here like this is great but I have anxiety and this is not helpful -_-
#Matt has a life#Shit from home#Like okay I did change the way I ate a lot#both what type and how much (basically I slowed WAY DOWN on fast food and largely stopped overeating#which I did fairly regularly tho not purpose for several years after covid)#so I've been assuming this was the reason & bc it was going slow it was okay#but now I'm thinking I might need to talk to my gp about this -_-#abshqvshsh why are bodies WEIRD#ALSO WHY DOES EVERY MEDICAL RESEARCH ON THE INTERNET GO LIKE 'IT COULD BE NOTHING OR IT COULD BE CANCER'
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Xin doodlies
#because I’m DYINNGGG#i have long weekend thanksgiving coming up but I don’t think I’ll even#be able to relax because of THE HORRORS. THE ASSIGNMENCE#my teacher was supposed to come in and teach us how to do poster mounting but she had to cancel bc she’s had Covid#for the past 2 weeks. so now I have to watch a shitty YouTube video on how to do it#and I’m expected to hand in the physical AND digital copy day of. I won’t even know if I did the mounting right until after I get it graded#fuck#please.. bill and Ted help me get thru this bogus time in my life#doodles#my oc#oc#xin ya#lmk oc
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sympathy for the outcasts <3
#Ive been a social outcast for almost two years and I wish everyone dealing with it joy in life ✌️😔#dont punish yourself for the way other people act towards you#you can work on yourself. but dont try to hide your entire personality.#otherwise one day all the sorrow will come back like a wave of depression.#Ive had this#yes I had friends during that dark era buuuuut they treated me as if I'm worth nothing#social outcast era#neurodivergent#mental health#and all my other friends: they left me#I lost all. literally. ALL my friends in that one year 2021#I had like 6 or 7 close friends before covid but after the lockdown ALL friendships ended#and I developed a high ego and thought I need no one#I was happy to have no friends 🫥#zero friends.#around that time I developed some autistic traits in my personality :/#as an example-#I didnt know how to talk to my dog/animals/pets. it felt so uncomfortable I tried to avoid it#I avoided speaking in general#but that high ego inside me kinda prevented me from drifting into depression#at least#random mind#guys. dont think it was THAT bad. I still had family which supported me#thank god Im not like this anymore#I found many close friends now and I have people who appreciate me irl#and healthy friendships taught me how to be social again#hopefully that whole covid lockdown dark phase blah blah blah think will never return#life is beautiful#never say never#❣️
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Pics of Blitzø that made me happy today.
#honestly something terrible happened in my life today. i dont wanna trauma dump online. but im coping as best as i can.#luckily this show is a wonderful escape from everything. because even after i recover from covid... things will be bad.#its umm.... really rough and psychologically taking a huge toll. but im just gonna keep going and think of my fav imp#helluva boss
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