#lies and alibis

[dutiful-wildcraft]

Lies and Alibis

Have this totally unedited and margarita fueled piece of mafia!au nikolai x chubby!reader.

Part 2

It had been a survival tactic really, latching onto the bear of a man in a slick black suit, the gold chain around his neck glittering under the light of the chandelier. She’d done her best, slinking around in corners with a glass of champagne in her hand, trying to play at being casual at this lavish party she’d been sent to in the russian countryside. 

She had had a hell of a time trying to hunt down a suitable partner to go to the party with her. Someone who spoke english fluently enough meet her in the middle with her piss poor russian. She understood well enough, speaking was the problem, her accent clumsy. The little language app on her phone could only do so much. She should have known better really, should have caked on more makeup, wore a wig, something. But she’d realized her error to late as one too many suspicious eyes followed her about the place, one too many familiar faces watching her just out of the periphery of her vision. 

Better to at least attempt to camouflage herself, shifting her expression to one of vague confusion and worry. She’d spotted him through the crowd, big and bulky, with gorgeous brown eyes and a warm booming laugh. Black hair coiffed back neatly, the strands tickling his neck. He looked polite enough. So she feigned eureka. Slipping through the crowd and sliding her arm in his, praying to every god in existence that he would just be tickled to have a woman on his arm. 

–

Nikolai only stiffened a moment, hand shifting slightly toward his belt before dropping entirely as he took in the soft thing now clinging to his arm. She flashed him a sheepish smile, eyes pleading from under long pretty lashes. She certainly didn't belong here, all luxurious curves highlighted under a soft satin dress. He had his own mission to attend to, but one look at her face had him immediately following along with whatever sidequest this young lady was about to be. 

“Privet,  Zaychonok”  He greets, returning her smile with a warm one of his own, patting her hand against his forearm. Her relief is palpable as she scrubs her fingers against the fabric of his forearm. A subtle thanks as she takes a long swig from her glass.  He snags her another as the waiter passes, easing it into her hand smoothly. 

–

She’s beyond grateful that this russian saint, does all of the talking. He’s honestly a great conversationalist from what she can gather. He glosses over her arrival completely and continues casually, holding a glass of amber liquid in his free hand and keeping her hand tucked snuggly in the crook of his arm. She was supposed to be listening out for some sort of smuggling details, weapons, she was told, all she needed was a destination and that would be good enough. Naturally no such destinations are even mentioned, and when she ponders giving up, feigning a visit to the bathroom and shimmying out the door the large russian snakes an arm around her waist, guiding her along beside him as the group moves along. His palm is warm, and she can feel the rough edge of calluses through the thin satin fabric of her dress. 

Nikolai, she would come to learn, was up to as much good as she was. Of course he would be, she was at a fucking fancy dinner party for the god damn russian underground. Everyone here was either a politician or criminal, as if those things were different. It was both a worry and relief as Nikolai kept a firm hand against her side. As the group navigated toward a table, Nikolai pulled out her chair, sliding it close beside his own and taking her hand, guiding her down into seat like a gentleman before taking his seat beside her, unbuttoning his waist coat before settling. He leaned back,  draping an arm around her shoulders, settling an ankle against his knee as his fingers toyed with the strap of her dress. They looked like a regular couple, and she found herself a bit lost in the fantasy of it. Fake or not it had been some time since a man had held her this way, protective and possessive, with such nonchalance that it didn't feel suffocating. She didnt feel lesser next to this stranger, but cared for, watched over, with the underlying current that the man beside her can and most certainly has killed for less noble causes. 

The thought of it made something in her silly little brain purr and she leans against him, relaxing enough to play along just a bit more. For the bit of course. 

So much into the bit that she doesn't catch the conversation happening in her direction. Only blinks a bit owlishly as Nikolai looks at her with amusement. 

“Da, malyshka?” he asks with a chuckle. 

“Da” she chirps without delay, mustering up enough acting skills to at least repeat the simple affirmative with the correct lilt. 

Nikolai looks proud as he slides his fingers along her shoulder, cupping her neck in large palm, thumb petting along the baby hairs of her neck as he pulls her closer to his side in affectionate embrace. However rather than pull away, she stays there, cheek resting against his shoulder as he continues his petting. She feels warm against the man’s arm, safe and borderline sleepy, no longer concerned with the suspicious eyes that had followed her in the beginning of the night. Brave enough to legitimately excuse herself the the ladies room, she murmurs what she thinks is the correct phrase and he eases his arm away enough for her to wriggle out of the nest of his side. 

She’s washing her hands, listening to the soft music play through the corridor before an eerie silence has her freezing. The music stops, and all that can be heard is very angry sounding russian being barked across the music hall. She moves slowly, peering through the gap in the door to find her very saint throwing hands with far too many men to be a fair fight. Her bear sized knight crumpling to the floor when the butt of a rifle connects with his face.

Another man barks orders, pointing his finger across the hall. 

Nikolai was the first. And she was certainly next.

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

I feel like my main sticking point with a lot of Post-CH2-12 Hu!Culprit theories / Hu lied about her alibi theories is that in all honesty, I simply cannot imagine Nico just... letting that slide. Especially if everyone's lives were on the line. If any Hu!Culprit people can sorta explain that thought process to me I'd appreciate it a lot

[my-sibling-wears-a-muumuu]

guys I think we're sleeping on Toxic Valentine by All Time Low, from hit movie Jennifer's Body.

[beeclops]

[nancydrewpcpolls]

Part 1 | Part 2

[offyoupop-easypeasy]

'And Then There Was Shawn' + Alibi

[And now I can't even recognize myself anymore

Please, give me something to convince me I am not a monster]

[puredoesnotmeankind]

Uh....

[leonsrightarm]

[punkrockmixtapes]

The Calamatix - "Love, Lies & Alibis"

[musicrunsthroughmysoul]

Yes, I am listening to this as the only song I am acknowledging that exists today because I am in denial that life, via being a fan of music and feeling fulfilled through music is worth it and am trying to convince myself that it is.

I could be happy here.

I could be happy here.

I could be happy here.

[pinkhairandpronouns]

microdosing being adventurous by having a best friend who is batshit insane

[dutiful-wildcraft]

Lies and Alibis

Part 2, Previous, Next

Nikolai/Plus Size F!OC

This one's a bit longer! Nothing to scary, but their is some violence. Again this is a bit silly and very self indulgent, please enjoy!!!

banner by @/une-femme-de-lettres

Life or death situations really do sober you up, which is really handy considering very big men with very big guns were now looking for her. She tries not to tremble too badly as she scans the bathroom for something, anything really to help her.

Best case scenario, she escapes with all her limbs intact. Preferably. 

Worst case scenario, they bust in and simply kill her then, a quick bullet to the dome. There were certainly more worse scenarios…but there was no time to line all those details out. She shudders. 

Think think think.

Locking the door would only make her presence inside more obvious. 

Find a weapon? She's seen broads in movies use the ceramic back of the toilet as pretty solid weapon before, she knows if she clocks someone just right it would at least knock them out. 

She peers into the stall, and of course there isn't one. Stupid automatic flusher. 

She turns again, eyes the small windows lining the far wall and nearly curses. She couldn't even fit her tits through the opening let alone the rest of her. Who the fuck even makes a window like that?

She can hear more yelling outside, and her heart pounds. She wasn't going to make it out. Not without someone seeing her.

She’s desperate, mind racing as a very hairbrained thought occurs to her.

If she was going to die cartoonishly, her fat ass wasn't going to be shot to swiss cheese hanging out of window she most certainly was going to get stuck in. Instead she works the glass pane open, pushing it as far as it could go before peeling off her heels and tossing them haphazardly onto the floor below the opening. 

With the clock ticking she scampers on bare feet into the handicap stall, leaving the door open a crack and climbing onto the toilet in the far corner. She was thankful that nicer bathrooms didn't have a crack a mile wide between the frames. She hunkers a bit, feet on the bowl with her ass resting against the wall to brace her. 

This was stupid, really.  Beyond stupid, suicidal even. But her mama did not raise a quitter. 

The door opens and her heart catches in her throat. She holds her breath as a pair of footsteps echo against the pearly tile. One set coming closer as the other kicks open the other closed stalls ahead of her. Oh god. She was going to die like this. On a toilet, Elvis style. She almost starts to cry, clutching her hands over her mouth to stifle her trembling breaths.

I escaped, I escaped. 

A voice rings out in the quiet, disbelieved barking.

“Blyat, Sbezhal!!”

What.

More cursing. A frantic phone call, and hurried steps out of the bathroom follow.

She waits. That…that seriously worked.

Holy shit. That worked.

She climbs down on shakey legs and puts an ear to the door, listening carefully for any more noise. The commotion must have cleared the place, and she cracks the door into the dead quiet. She'd planned to bolt, hit the door and run for her fucking life, but she thinks of her knight in glittering gold jewelry.

She doesn't know why now out of all times she feels guilty for a random russian mobster. He couldn't have been too much better than these other men, and for all she knows if it was his business she was poking into he would have had her murked too.

He helped you.

For reasons unknown, or perhaps even nefarious, but she didn't know that, just like he didn't know having her on his arm would get him a gun stock to the face.

Her eyes flicker between the door to her escape and the long hallway they'd taken him, and she sighs, long and ill suffering. 

-

This is beyond stupid, she grouses inwardly, crawling her way underneath another set of hallway length windows in an effort to not get her head blown off by the rifle toting jarhead she'd seen walking the perimeter. 

She didn't have much besides “Grab Nikolai and Leave”. The details around even that fuzzy, not to mention the man may or may not be dead…or at minimum very angry with her. She pauses dead for a second, a little spinning wheeling flashing in her mind's eye as she slowly works that problem out.

…maybe he won't be so mad if she helps him. He could at least get them out of there and hunt her another day. 

Too late to go back now. 

From what they could tell they were searching the woods for her. What remnants of the dinner party left long gone in the aftermath, with just a few men and her knight left. 

She continues following the trail of blood and black skid marks from well polished shoes down fancy tiled corridors. Pausing around the corner as the sound of wet thuds and pained grunts hit her ears, followed by more seething russian.

Words so snarled she can barely understand. Something about her, betrayal, stupidity. Their captive rasps. Feigning ignorance.

No, not feigning, telling the truth. As the familiar voice definitely belonged to Nikolai, a light edge to it despite his predicament. Her heart pangs with guilt. This was definitely her fault.

She's fully prepared to play the waiting game, find a place to hide until at least one of the guards leaves the room. That is until she hears the light tap of a shoe on tile far too late, turning just in time to catch the pistol careening with her face.

-

Fucking, ow. 

Her head bounces off the marble and she sees stars, body laying limply on the floor as she attempts to reboot.

He'd definitely busted her head open, hopefully she wouldn't need stitches, but probably considering she could already feel the blood slipping into her hairline. 

And as she takes stock of herself, she realizes that he definitely thinks he's knocked her out, judging by the way he bitches, grumbling about her weight before unceremoniously grabbing her ankle and dragging her along.

She bites her tongue, forces herself to fall limp despite the radiating pain in her skull. Cracking like lightning as her head thunks between the grout. 

Eventually she's stopped, her thick leg flung hatefully to the floor as a door slams behind her. She keeps still. Listening. There was another, ragged labored breaths. She dares to crack her eye just a smidgen, taking in the blurry visage that was Nikolai, his limp black locks hiding his face from her view.

Okay. Target located. She hadn't necessarily planned playing possum to get there but hey, a win is a win. 

Win number two, a knocked out fat girl was apparently not threatening enough to justify security. Her arms and legs left splayed lifelessly beside her and undisturbed.

The door clicks again. Followed by heavy footsteps.

New problem.

She cracks her eye again, watching the guard stalk back and forth through the blurred slit of her eyelids. His back, thankfully toward her. 

He's yapping again, yanking Nikolai back by the hair to sneer. Monologuing as power hungry idiots are wont to do.

Her eyes scan the room fully now. She can make this work. He's bigger than her but she's got enough ass to swing hard if she needs to. Enough pressure in the right place can knock anyone out. Jaw, temple, base of skull, she lists. 

Her eyes search, lamp, chair, paperweight, all doable but loud….her eyes fall just above her. Pretty velvet curtains tied back neatly with thick, golden tasseled chord. Bingo.

Keeping her eyes glued to her chatty assailant she reaches upward, fingers barely grasping at the silky strands before tugging it down the length of the curtain, catching it swiftly before it could thunk against the floor. 

She'd needed to be quick for her next trick. She eases herself up. Wrapping the chord around both palms, steeling herself for what could very well be the worst decision she's ever made. Cut off blood supply, crush his windpipe. She pictures the anatomy in her head, and before she can bitch out she lunges, throwing the chord around his throat and yanking.

There's a choked gasp as she twists, turning her body 180 and pulling down sharply, attempting to use her own weight to assist in strangling the man. He thrashes against her back, nearly toppling them both over.  She's too short, his legs still able to scrabble against the ground.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She twists again, maneuvering her arms to twist the makeshift garrote around his throat into more of a noose. They both stumble in the struggle, falling to the floor in a heap. 

Absolutely fucking not.

She scrambles, keeping the chord pulled taut around the guards neck as she kicks her feett out, planting them both against the man's shoulders and yanking with all her might. Keeping her legs stiff and holding onto the chord for dear life, palms straining as she simultaneously pushes and pulls.

He really flails now, legs kicking and eyes bulging. Dull nails drawing blood against her calves and ankles where he fights to claw her off. She'd be impressed with his tenacity had she not been fearing for her own life. How fucking long did it take to strangle someone?

“Pull harder, zaychonok” a voice rasps over the gurgling and choking in the room. Nikolai.

And she does, grunting with the effort as she pushes with her knees, keeping the chord pulled tight against her chest, whole body beginning to tremble with the effort. 

“pull, keep pulling, more, more”

The man at her feet tries to howl, frothing and flailing desperately before there is a sickening pop. His body falling limp and silent. She sags, panting harshly, letting her cheek rest against the cool tile of the floor. Her hands throbbed, burned and bloodied from the rope, but she was alive, blessedly alive.

Which could not be said for the guard. 

She shoots up, flinging the chord viciously from her hands and stares at him. He's dead alright, head cranked at an unnatural angle, dead eyes bulging and painted red from broken vessels. His neck painted in varying shades of red and purple. 

It makes her stomach churn. 

She stares at the body, her memory carving his corpse into the inside of her skull. It’s not that she hadn't seen a dead body before, she's seen plenty. She's just…never been the direct result of a dead body. The words Do No Harm, echoes in her brain. 

“Zaya”

She flinches, eyes bouncing to Nikolai who watches her carefully.  “Fetch me his knife” he instructs, and his voice is soft, surprisingly gentle given the situation. She follows, moving on autopilot to flip the thug over and snag the knife from his belt. 

She stumbles toward him. Clumsy like a newborn foal as she cuts the zip ties from his wrists with trembling fingers. Vehemently ignoring looking at the dead man on the floor. 

Nikolai makes a little relieved sound, rubbing his aching wrists as she circles back around. He carefully tugs the knife from her hands, never taking his eyes off of her as he slides it against his belt.

“Good job” he murmurs, hooking a hand a bit to roughly against her shoulder. Shaking her from her thoughts again. The poor man looks rough, they both do. Thankfully it’s something she thinks a few stitches and a bath couldn't fix. But something else occurs to her.

“You speak english.” she deadpans, staring at him with exhausted eyes, and this mad bastard has the gall to let out a small wet laugh.

“Very observant” he chuckles, patting her shoulder moving across the room on stiff legs. He plucks a handgun from the desk drawer and checks the magazine. Satisfied , he slides it into his belt, bending again to pick up the guard’s fallen handgun making the same check. He eyes her with a raised brow.

“Can I trust you with this?”

She swallows hard, nods. It’s been a while, but she knows how to use it. 

He approaches, quickly going over the safety, how to clear it, before pushing it into her hand. His warm palm slides over the metal, gripping her wrist securely. He folds his chin to his chest, looking into her eyes. Holding her attention. 

“Stay close to me, keep your hand off the trigger, we will survive.”

“Da” she repeats, preening just a bit as he smiles at her.

[soulprompts]

right place, right time prompts.

so i got watching a ton of new tv shows lately, and it occurred to me that actually i do love it when characters are unexpectedly saved by someone who just happened to be exactly in the right place at precisely the correct moment, yk? and i failed to think of the right name, so the title of this list is entirely thanks to a very dear friend of mine who informed me! so here's a list, i hope you guys love it, DO NOT ADD TO THIS LIST OR EDIT IT!!! i like to edit them over time as new ideas come to me.

[ ALIBI ]: the sender provides a false alibi to protect the receiver from legal issues.

[ HAND ]: the sender suddenly arrives to grab the receiver's hand before they fall to their death

[ CAR ]: the sender arrives on scene as the impromptu getaway driver for the receiver (who hadn't been expecting it).

[ FATAL ]: the sender unwittingly arrives on scene when the receiver is being attacked, and to protect the receiver, they kill the assailant.

[ DISTRACT ]: the sender provides a diversion so the receiver can escape a dangerous situation.

[ OUT COLD ]: the sender knocks out an assailant before they can seriously wound the receiver.

[ DUNNO ]: the sender lies about the location of the receiver in order to protect them from pursuers.

[ FAKE ]: the sender, in a situation where they're forced to kill the receiver, only pretends to kill the receiver and takes their "dead" body away in the car.

[ SACRIFICE]: the sender sacrifices their life to ensure the receiver's survival.

[ BACK-UP ]: the sender arrives just in time to help the receiver in a fight.

[ EXCUSES ]: the sender provides an excuse for the receiver to stay at an event where they shouldn't be.

[ HIDDEN ]: the sender hides the receiver from pursuers.

[ SHELTER ]: the sender finds the unconscious receiver and brings them to a safe place.

[ HERO ]: the sender tackles the receiver out of the way of an attack.

[ RUN! ]: the sender tackles the attacker so the receiver can make a safe get-away.

[ FIGHT ]: the sender fights off the assailants so the receiver can flee to safety.

[ INTERCEPT ]: the sender unexpectedly emerges and stands between the receiver and a threat.

[ MISDIRECTION ]: the sender points a group of pursuers in the opposite direction to buy the receiver some time to hide.

[ SANCTUARY ]: the sender opens the door when the receiver knocks in search of help, and brings them into their home.

[ REPUTATION ]: the sender, being somewhat infamous in the area, arrives when the receiver is being hassled, causing the assailants to flee rather than risk the consequences of crossing them.

[ RECOGNIZE ]: the sender pretends to know the receiver in order to help them avoid unwanted attention.

[ AFAR ]: the sender incapacitates, distracts or kills an assailant from a distance to protect the receiver.

[ FRIENDS ]: the sender, unable to attend directly, sends friends over to protect the receiver when they encounter a threat.

[ NEGOTIATE ]: the sender intervenes in a tense situation and manages to smoothly persuade a potential threat to leave the receiver alone.

[ BRIBE ]: the sender gives a threat a significant amount of money to leave the receiver alone.

[ ANNOUNCE ]: the sender issues a declaration that the receiver is under their protection, assuring all potential attackers that any attempts will result in a brutal retaliation from them.

VERBAL PROMPTS:

" they're with me. "

" i was with them all night. "

" hey! these guys bothering you? "

" i wouldn't do that if i were you. "

" you must've really pissed those guys off, huh? "

" follow my lead... "

" don't worry. you're safe here. i won't let anyone hurt you. "

" you're lucky i found you when i did; those people were right down the street. "

" get in the car! now! "

" i'm gonna buy you as much time as i possibly can. make it count, okay? get out of here. now! "

" you can come out now. they're long gone. "

" nobody's going to hurt you like that again. "

[wileys-russo]

the not so secret II barça femeni

part of the pollito universe the not so secret II barça femeni

"alexia, me voy!" you called out from the front door, body already half outside as you heard the girl yell out for you to wait from the bedroom.

"go!" olga mouthed with an encouraging nod, making shooing motions with her hands as you grinned and blew her a kiss, closing the door and racing toward the elevator.

"hey! home by ten nena, don't do anything stupid!" you caught the last of alexia's sentence as her head popped out, eyes narrowing at you as you wiggled your fingers in a wave goodbye from the end of the hall, stepping into the elevator and out of sight.

"esa chica será mi muerte." alexia muttered, shaking her head and retreating inside, rolling her eyes at her girlfriends teasing she was going to get grey hairs if she didn't lighten up.

as far as your captain knew you were going to see your friends, having roped in a few of the younger girls to cover for you as you always needed when you lied to alexia.

a few well placed promises, edible bribes and now alexia was under the assumption you'd be spending the evening at cata's house with vicky, salma and lucía, your alibi air tight.

you didn't necessarily want to lie, but you knew for now that was far easier than telling alexia the truth and all the hoops you'd need to jump through once you did.

you respected the older girl very much, you'd known of her for many years before you'd been properly introduced. having held her and a lot of the senior girls you played alongside now on a pedestal, you wanted to be just like them when you were in the academy.

and now, here you were.

though you enjoyed causing mostly harmless trouble and chaos, hair dye in shampoo, maybe some honey in someones boots, missing belongings well hidden, or even a nail 'accidentally' lodged in someones tyre if they really got into your bad books.

deep down you didn't have a malicious bone in your body and alexia knew that, you were just young and admittedly quite easily convinced into things if they were alluring enough and seemed to hold a benefit for you.

which is why it hadn't taken too long for you to earn alexia's trust when you moved in with her once you solidified your spot in the senior time.

you still had a good relationship with your family but with the training schedule and transport to and from the grounds it just worked out easier for all parties if you moved in with a teammate.

your request to have your own place merely laughed at you'd huffed but internally were quite chuffed alexia was so open and willing to taking you in.

and as much chaos and trouble you found yourself in around your friends and teammates you'd never dare to do anything to mess up your living situation, and you were always finding ways to help around the house however you could.

this lie though was one you needed for not just your own protection, but someone elses.

you knew you were seen as the baby of the team but you were still a teenager with needs and emotions and far too many hormones running through you to ignore the fact you'd developed a crush.

you'd never been in a properly serious relationship, you'd hooked up with people at parties or when you were still attending school during your time at the academy, but you'd never felt like this before.

she worked at a cafe not too far from alexia's apartment, and you'd often rush there of a morning on the rare occurrence of a day off where you awoke before either alexia or olga to get coffees and pastries for the three of you.

it was normally after you'd perhaps taken a harmless joke or prank a step too far and been found out, but if alexia had caught onto that she never mentioned it, though you were fairly sure she knew and just pretended not to for the sake of a free breakfast.

at first the girl just caught your eye and you thought she was attractive, stumbling over your words a little when she took your order but missing the way she'd suddenly appear by the register every time you walked in, your regular order already punched in even if she was rostered on the floor that day.

one day you'd decided to actually sit down and eat properly, struggling a little with the new set pieces you'd gotten alexia's permission to bring them with you to study before the game on the weekend, and after some caffeine to help.

though all of that went out the window the moment the girl sat down across from you, announcing she was on her break and would you mind if she ate with you, and it was safe to say you didn't even glance at the set pieces that whole afternoon.

she was a month older than you and still in school, she worked weekends and afternoons at the cafe which was owned by her godmother and you quickly learned the pair of you had a lot more in common than you'd first thought.

your crush growing ten fold right after that impromptu lunch together you'd immediately confided in the rest of the kids on the team, with varying levels of helpful and horrible advice about what to do.

but with a lot of the girls already in relationships you took some of their less poor advice and after two failed attempts when you chickened out, the girl caught onto what you were trying to do and asked you out on a date.

that was two months ago and now you were sat next to your girlfriend in a cosy little restaurant on the outskirts of the city that jana had recommended, having taken her own girlfriend jill there after they stumbled across it by accident one day.

your girlfriend knew next to nothing about sports which was refreshing as most of your close connections were all based around football, and it was nice to actually talk about anything but football with someone.

the sneaking around wasn't the easiest but it wasn't as hard as you'd worried, especially with your friends always loyal and ready to create you a solid cover story. plus between both you and your girlfriends hectic schedules with work, school and football you didn't get to see one another every day.

which is why tonight was long overdue and the pair of you hadn't yet run out of things to talk about despite speaking on the phone nearly every night and texting all day long.

but what you'd failed to remember was that alexia and olga had plans of their own tonight, which you'd been informed of but distracted trying to think of what to wear to dinner you'd barely listened, humming your fake interest and caught up in your own thoughts.

which was about to bite you in the ass.

so caught up in listening to your girlfriend you'd missed two very familiar faces enter the restaurant and take a seat at a table on the other side of the room, thanking the young boy who handed them a menu each and left them to decide.

but when he'd then come over to your table to take your order, another set of eyes with a question about the house special had sought him out, and suddenly your secret little date night wasn't so secret anymore.

"what? whats wrong?" ingrid asked with a confused frown as her girlfriend suddenly grabbed her wrist, shaking it to gain her attention and furiously nodding her head across the room.

"what are you-" the norwegian glanced over her shoulder, following the spaniards eyeline and putting two and two together. "is that-" though her question was answered for her as the young boy finished taking your order and moved out of the way.

"pollito told alexia she was at cata's watching movies, when really she has snuck out on a date...furtivo furtivo." mapi tutted with a shake of her head, corner of her mouth tugging upwards into a sly smile ingrid recognized all too well.

"maría, you do not even know what is actually going on. you are jumping to conclusions! they could just be friends." ingrid tried to defend you, though another glance in your direction seeing your girlfriend drape her arm across the back of your shoulders and peck your lips a few times making you laugh shut that right down.

"oh? and i suppose they are just friends, the way that you and i are just friends hm amor?" mapi grinned victoriously as ingrid sighed.

"we could just call alexia and cancel, or say it was too busy here and we should go somewhere else." ingrid again tried to defend you, knowing as much as she was also protective that you did deserve a life of your own.

"too late for that mi amor, the clock has just run out for our dear pollito." mapi chuckled, nodding toward the door where sure enough alexia and olga had just arrived, directed toward the table by the hostess who they both gave a warm smile to and made their way over.

"you could at least warn her." "amor, if the nena wants to date like an adult, then she can handle this herself like an adult." the defender shrugged, waving to their friends as ingrid sighed but none the less plastered a smile on her face.

meanwhile you were none the wiser to the double date and the storm brewing across the room, far too wrapped up in your little love bubble as your sole focus was on your girlfriend.

you were discussing plans for your seventeenth birthday next week, the girl having met some of your friends but not yet your parents you were readying yourself to ask if she would come to dinner with them next week to cross that hurdle.

you weren't worried for their reactions by any means, they'd never had any problems with your sexuality but this would still be the first real partner you'd be bringing home, and that carried a responsibility you knew would affect your girlfriend as well as you.

you'd met her godmother a couple of weeks in, the woman with eyes like a hawk had noticed you hanging around more and caught on that maybe the two of you were a little more than friends.

but sworn to secrecy the woman had never betrayed that, and you thought that maybe if you introduced your girlfriend to your parents, she might introduce you to hers next and everything would feel a little less secret.

but it would seem that fate had other ideas for how your night was to go.

it had taken alexia a shockingly long amount of time to notice you, and mapi an awfully large amount of patience not to tell her right away.

though once the catalan eventually did notice, doing a double take as her neck whipped back around as she was sure her eyes were playing tricks on her, there wasn't anything anyone could say to have her stay in her seat.

"no ale, mi amor we should leave her-" olga couldn't even finish her sentence before alexia was up, shaking off her girlfriends hand which grabbed at the hem of her shirt in a failed attempt to tug her back down.

you'd just finished your entrees, laughing at a story your girlfriend was very animatedly telling about a customer getting publicly called out by his girlfriend for cheating today, with paper print outs of receipts and everything, when a shadow appeared.

you'd assumed it was the waiter coming to take your empty plates, just glancing up with a smile and looking back at your girlfriend who'd suddenly gone silent, unable to look away as your hair suddenly stood on end and slowly you looked back upward.

"hola, pequeña." there was a bite to her tone you recognized right away, having only heard it a handful of times but you knew you'd really stepped in it this time.

"hola capi." you managed out meakly, your girlfriends arm across the back of your shoulders suddenly feeling as heavy as a steel pipe as you shifted a little and felt her pull away, immediately scooting across to set some distance between you both.

"alexia i can explain-" you couldn't handle the thick tension of silence as her eyes bore down into you, the blonde shaking her head.

"sí? bien. you and your...friend, can join us for dinner and i will hear all about it." the girl smiled but it didn't reach her eyes, a glance around her causing you to wince spotting the other three across the room.

"look uh...miss putellas, i really don't want to get her into any-" your girlfriend started nervously. "alexia is fine." the older girl cut her off sharply, the girl beside you mouth opening and closing like a fish, both of your faces flushed bright red in embarrassment.

"ale can we talk in private? por favor." you stood suddenly, nervously playing with your fingers as the blonde looked you up and down for a moment before nodding curtly.

"volveré, lo siento." you apologized quietly to your girlfriend who nodded in understanding, alexia making her way toward the front of the restaurant as you hurried after her, the two of you stepping outside into the warm evening air.

"explain then nena, rápido." your captain demanded firmly, crossing her arms and staring you down as you shrunk beneath her harsh gaze.

"she is my girlfriend, i met her at that cafe near your apartment on the corner, her godmother runs it. i have been seeing her for a couple of months now." you admitted, fidgeting with the rings on your right hand and refusing to meet alexia's eyes.

"and cata? jana? vicky? los niñas have been covering for you, helping you to lie to me." the spanish captain asked as you nodded, knowing anything but the truth right now would only dig you into a deeper hole.

"do your parents know? have they met her?" alexia questioned next and you shook your head. "she is meeting them next week, for my birthday. we actually just talked about it, she'd agreed to come to dinner with them right before you..." you trailed off as alexia hummed.

"ale por favor i will do hill sprints, laps, clean the changing rooms, wash boots, extra training, anything you want but don't make us sit and eat with all of you like kids. i know you all look at me like the baby of the team but this is my first real relationship and i don't want to mess it up." you disclosed quietly, alexia sighing and uncrossing her arms.

"how did you both get here?" the blonde asked as you chanced a glance toward her, seeing her hardened features had softened just a little.

"her godmother drove us. but ale she was going to make sure i was home by nine even if curfew is ten, she has school tomorrow and i have training and-" you started to ramble, falling silent as she held up a hand.

"vale. you may both eat by yourselves but i will drive you home when we are done, and you can tell me more about her." the last few words were a lot more gentle and it had you looking up with a frown, confused by her sudden switch up.

"you are not mad?" you asked hesitantly as alexia cracked a small smile and shook her head.

"a little disappointed you did not feel like you could come to me pequeña but i understand why you did not, you have amigas for that and you confided in them. if they are happy to lie for you to help you, then she must be worth it." alexia nodded behind you and into the restaurant.

"she is, i really like her." you smiled as alexia opened her arms, allowing you to dart into them and exhale. "todavía siento haber mentido." you mumbled, alexia ruffling your hair and letting you go.

"lo sé nena, you can make it up to me with coffee tomorrow...and extra laps for you and your asociados." you sighed at that but nodded none the less, knowing you were not going to be popular tomorrow among your friends at training tomorrow.

"and you will invite your girlfriend over for dinner, friday night." you were stunned at that, alexia looking back at you unfazed. "but-" you couldn't even finish your sentence, the blonde cutting you off.

"i promised your parents i would look after you nena, and i will keep that promise. so you will ask her over for dinner and i will get to know her, make sure she is good enough for you before she meets your parents." the girl smiled as you sighed, knowing there wasn't a point in arguing as you simply nodded.

"ve con tu pollito, and i will be watching." alexia smirked as you rolled your eyes and shoved her playfully, ducking away as she grabbed for you, following after you inside with a chuckle.

"oh no." you mumbled seeing your girlfriend was indeed where you'd left her, but your seat had been filled and she was not alone.

"-but then i found her in the closet and i shaved her eyebrow! it is funny it actually took a long time to grow back and she had to draw it on and-" your eyes widened catching the last of mapi's story as you hurried to the table.

"oye pollito! i was just speaking to your friend about you." mapi grinned, ingrid mouthing an apology and tugging on her girlfriends shirt with a firm look which the spaniard waved off.

"mapi. por favor, váyase." you requested through gritted teeth, ingrid mumbling something to her girlfriend who stood. "

qué? i am just being friendly nena! looking out for our pequeña bebé." the defender pinched your cheeks and cooed, ingrid wincing as your girlfriend hid a laugh behind her hand.

"maría, you can tease her tomorrow. leave the nena to her dinner!" ingrid warned as you caught her eye, all but dragging the smirking spaniard back to their table where olga and alexia were waiting. "hey mapi?" you called out as she raised an eyebrow, pausing for a moment.

"you are back on my list, imbécil."

[gabisart]

Breathing in the madness, spitting out the lies Searching for an answer, keep your alibis 🦇✨ ((Time for Patrons to pick which creature of the night should grace our September Reward! Join us here!))

[svsssbrainworms]

🍃 SVSSS fic rec list

(shen yuan / bingqiu -centric edition) 2/3

[ shen twins; canon divergence/time travel ]

shen twins

• second-hand alibis

“All right. I’m in Proud Immortal Demon Way," he says, once he's had a chance to compose himself again. He sits back up, tossing his stupidly long hair back over his shoulders where it belongs; he is totally calm and ready to grill the System for more information.  "Who am I supposed to be? "Please please please don't let it be someone who Bingge violently murders. Though given the fact that he's a man in PIDW, his chances are already skewed, and not in his favor. Ugh. [Bound Role: Shen Yuan, Rogue Cultivator. Weapon: the sword Heng Li. Starting B-points: 100.] or: Shen Yuan transmigrates as a rogue cultivator, one completely unconnected to any canon characters or events. Right, System? Right?

• Wherever You Go, I Will Follow (The Scum Villain Early Intervention System)

Something goes a little sideways and Shen Yuan accidentally transmigrates into Proud Immortal Demon Way as a shitty, System-generated self-insert OC. At first, his goals are simple: survive, discover the world, and maybe even become a cultivator! It all seems to be working out alright. That is, until he discovers that there is more to his new identity than he previously thought: Shen Yuan has a twin, and it's none other than the future scum villain, Shen Qingqiu! As such, their fates have been inevitably linked together. The world is a dark place. Will they be able to make it through?

canon divergence 🦋 / time travel 🕰

🦋 • the pale morning sings of forgotten things

Mu Qingfang offers him a small bronze mirror. Shen Qingqiu takes it—evidently there’s no more putting this off. He looks into the mirror. A teenager, his hair and robes askew, his face streaked with blood, stares dully back at him. Ah, he realizes. Beneath the blood, half of it smeared across his face as though he had started to wipe it away at one point, he looks to be in his middling-to-late teens. Probably around seventeen or maybe eighteen— Pain stabs deep in his chest. That’s how old Luo Binghe is.Was. or: at the edge of the Abyss, Shen Qingqiu has a qi deviation. When he wakes, he finds he has lost far more than he can bear--or than he realizes.

🦋 • fuel the embers with the flames of your soul

Trapped in Huan Hua’s Water Prison, Shen Yuan’s illness from his previous life relapses.

🦋 • Sung From the Ashes

Things go decidedly worse in the water prison as everyone underestimates just how much Lao Gongzhu hates Shen Qingqiu. Now Shen Yuan has to figure out how to live in the aftermath of his experiences while Luo Binghe finds more and more ways to self-destruct. They'll meet in the middle someday if Gongyi Xiao has anything to say on the matter.

🦋 • Inappropriate Use May Result in Strange Side Effects 

In PIDW, there was a certain legendary cup which when used to make tea with even a single thread of another’s hair or a drop of their blood switches bodies with the person who drank it. It turns out… if you don’t use it appropriately it’ll either not work at all because it has no target, or will swap you with your soul mate. Too bad Luo Binghe had no idea about that. He was just going to drink tea and somehow he found himself in Shen Qingqiu’s body, staring at his own sword mound. Oh and what the absolute hell is the ringing in his ear?

🦋 • Separate Ways 

There are plenty of skills one can pick up in the Endless Abyss if curious or just desperate enough. The shape changing had been explained as being able to look like other people. This isn’t what happens when Luo Binghe tries it. What happens is that he’s transformed into a tiny dog with masses of curly black fur. When he catches his reflection while transformed, his first thought is, Shizun would definitely want to pet me. (Or, the one where Luo Binghe can turn into a dog, infiltrates Qing Jing, and seeks Shizun's affections through fluffy subterfuge)

🦋 • Dreaming of Gardens in the Desert Sand 

Huan Hua Palace master Luo Binghe never thought there'd be any reason to worry about the master that threw him away all those years ago. Surely, he was safe and cared for by the martial siblings he'd so thoroughly enamored. Luo Binghe was wrong. (Or, the one where the Jinlan City event doesn't happen and Luo Binghe's plan to slowly show he can be a righteous cultivator actually goes as he expected, with consequences he did not)

🕰 • Metagaming

[Self-Saving System Activated! You will be now returned to your original starting position.] Shen Qingqiu dies and gets a second chance and decides to try a different approach.

🦋 • Shen Yuan's Forced Shen Qingqiu Redemption Arc

The System's OOC function won't unlock all at once - instead, character traits have to be added individually, through quests. This leads to Shen Qingqiu having to jump through endless hoops just to complete enough side quests to unlock the ability to be a decent person - all while avoiding the effects it has on those around him. If only the cheapskate System wouldn't keep changing the cost of point values - he needs to know what the hell Yue Qingyuan told the others about him that makes them all look so sad when he does manage to be nice! He's breaking his back here, can't we just appreciate his work?!

🦋 • If You Don't Have Store-Bought Character Growth, Homemade is Fine 

When Shen Qingqiu fails his first mission, he loses the opportunity to unfreeze the OOC function. He has to go through the events of the story in-character as the original goods. He's definitely getting human sticked. Meanwhile, Luo Binghe is getting paranoid that his Shizun has started being nice to him. In a really mean way.

🦋 • In Durance Veil

Right, the villain's beautiful daughter, who had caught a glimpse of the Protagonist from afar and, naturally, fell madly in love at first sight. She'd used her knowledge of her father's lair to sneak into the dungeon where Luo Binghe was being held and eventually proved the key to his escape, betraying her father for love. "So, you want to try to find some random girl who's willing to sneak in past the guards to Luo Binghe's prison and..." "What random girl could we possibly trust? I'll do it myself!" "You know what," Shang Qinghua said. "Somehow I feel like I should have expected this." --- Shen Qingqiu self-detonated at Hua Yue City, but he didn't die. Instead, he wakes up to a world where Cang Qiong is victorious and Luo Binghe has been imprisoned beneath the mountain. What's a poor transmigrator to do? He has to find a way to free the Protagonist before he breaks out and razes the Sect to the ground! Clearly, the best way to do this is to pretend to be one of Luo Binghe's future wives. Clearly.

🦋 • Into the Abyss

In which Shen Yuan pisses the System off and it sends him straight into the Endless Abyss. Four years later, Shen Qingqiu does the same to Luo Binghe.

🦋 • Bamboo Shoot of Resentment

Falling prey to an unusual curse after the Immortal Alliance Conference was the last thing Shen Yuan expected from this dumpster fire of a porn novel. But here the transmigrator is — inflicted with a demonic womb he absolutely did not ask for, and a new burden he didn’t even think was possible. And maybe, Shen Yuan is just a bit tired of it all.

🦋 • He Was Made For Untidy Rooms and Rumpled Beds  

Shen Qingqiu kind of, sort of, does not have the same modesty standards as a xianxia novel set in some form of Ancient China? He also hates the heat, who knew right?

🕰 • Wish Received, Wish Granted!

Luo Binghe aches so raw and violently in a way he hasn’t known since the Endless Abyss, since the scalding heat of tea on his scalp, or the sight of his mother’s tired and motionless form in her bed. Images of that other reality sear themselves into the forefront of his mind, plaguing him even when he shuts and scrubs at his eyes till they hurt. He feels the ghost of Shen Qingqiu’s gentle touch on his skin like a persistent burning sensation, flames of longing licking at the nape of his neck. He wants it. He hates it. He needs it. Or Luo Binghe (aka Bingge), because he’s the protagonist, gets his wish granted the moment he wakes on the cold floor of the woodshed, beaten black and blue, and fourteen again.

🕰 • A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House

Over a year after Shen Qingqiu's death, Luo Binghe consults his servant's servant, concurrently his disgraced martial uncle, for a way to bring the love of his life back. Shang Qinghua sends him in the direction of a certain time-traveling artifact, which supposedly brings one to the day they first met their soulmate. Odd, though, that the artifact ends up missing the destination by just a few years… - A story in which post-Abyss Luo Binghe relives his disciple days, while juggling his secrets, traumas, and some unexpected revelations about the man he loves on top of that.

🦋 • The More You Don't Know

Luo Binghe has it all: the respect of the cultivation world, the home he always wanted, and Shizun's love. There's just one problem: if Shizun ever finds out he's a demon, it's going to ruin everything.

🦋 • grief, hope, and other forms of sickness

After the Immortal Alliance Conference, Shen Qingqiu qi deviates. The deviation itself isn’t bad, but it allows Without-A-Cure to spread far further than it did originally, disabling Shen Qingqiu by a non-insignificant amount. So when Huan Hua calls for Shen Qingqiu’s imprisonment in Jinlan City, Without-A-Cure makes it very clear that Shen Qingqiu can not be held in the Water Prison away from the medical attention he needs these days. Instead, Shen Qingqiu is allowed to return to Qing Jing, provided he takes Luo Binghe back with him.

🦋 • Celestial Afterglow

Shang Qinghua, also known as Airplane Shooting Towards the Sky, stared flatly at what had once been a field boasting near sect-level Feng Shui alignment, and the drowned, bloated remains of the Sun and Moon Dew Flower cuttings that had sprouted within it. Their plan was now quite literally a wash. If only he could consult Cucumber Bro on how to save Cucumber Bro! But in the absence of Cucumber Bro, he could but rely on the one plot coupon the infamous Peerless Cucumber had ever applauded.

🦋 • I Want You To Be Happier

Shen Yuan has amnesia. Good thing his husband is there to take care of him! - Following a failed attempt to detonate his core in order to save Luo Binghe at Huayue City, Shen Qingqiu instead suffers a qi deviation and loses his memory. Luo Binghe, in turn, loses his shit and steals him away for awhile.

🦋 • fall for your reflection (drown in a dream)

“Shh, Shizun, it’s alright,” Luo Bingge says, voice lilting in a singsong manner. Shen Qingqiu can’t look away from his red, red eyes. He blinks, and they aren’t eyes at all, but feathers, perched on a mound of coiled, shifting vines that are dotted with white thorns dyed their own bright red from Shen Qingqiu’s blood. “Go to sleep, Shizun,” the black-and-red bird sings, coaxing. “Go to sleep,” Luo Bingge repeats, as he flickers back into being. or: Shen Qingqiu is attacked by a monster that drops him into a dream of a perfect world--with Luo Binghe featuring front and center.

🦋 •  Medical Diplomacy

Fresh out of the Abyss, Luo Binghe learns that he alone can cure Shen Qingqiu's chronic ailment. With this information in hand, he pursues an alternative strategy involving interspecies diplomacy and a royal alliance. After all, Cang Qiong can't expect a gentleman to dual-cultivate outside of marriage.