#lies and alibis

[dutiful-wildcraft]

Lies and Alibis

Have this totally unedited and margarita fueled piece of mafia!au nikolai x chubby!reader.

Part 2

It had been a survival tactic really, latching onto the bear of a man in a slick black suit, the gold chain around his neck glittering under the light of the chandelier. She’d done her best, slinking around in corners with a glass of champagne in her hand, trying to play at being casual at this lavish party she’d been sent to in the russian countryside. 

She had had a hell of a time trying to hunt down a suitable partner to go to the party with her. Someone who spoke english fluently enough meet her in the middle with her piss poor russian. She understood well enough, speaking was the problem, her accent clumsy. The little language app on her phone could only do so much. She should have known better really, should have caked on more makeup, wore a wig, something. But she’d realized her error to late as one too many suspicious eyes followed her about the place, one too many familiar faces watching her just out of the periphery of her vision. 

Better to at least attempt to camouflage herself, shifting her expression to one of vague confusion and worry. She’d spotted him through the crowd, big and bulky, with gorgeous brown eyes and a warm booming laugh. Black hair coiffed back neatly, the strands tickling his neck. He looked polite enough. So she feigned eureka. Slipping through the crowd and sliding her arm in his, praying to every god in existence that he would just be tickled to have a woman on his arm. 

–

Nikolai only stiffened a moment, hand shifting slightly toward his belt before dropping entirely as he took in the soft thing now clinging to his arm. She flashed him a sheepish smile, eyes pleading from under long pretty lashes. She certainly didn't belong here, all luxurious curves highlighted under a soft satin dress. He had his own mission to attend to, but one look at her face had him immediately following along with whatever sidequest this young lady was about to be. 

“Privet,  Zaychonok”  He greets, returning her smile with a warm one of his own, patting her hand against his forearm. Her relief is palpable as she scrubs her fingers against the fabric of his forearm. A subtle thanks as she takes a long swig from her glass.  He snags her another as the waiter passes, easing it into her hand smoothly. 

–

She’s beyond grateful that this russian saint, does all of the talking. He’s honestly a great conversationalist from what she can gather. He glosses over her arrival completely and continues casually, holding a glass of amber liquid in his free hand and keeping her hand tucked snuggly in the crook of his arm. She was supposed to be listening out for some sort of smuggling details, weapons, she was told, all she needed was a destination and that would be good enough. Naturally no such destinations are even mentioned, and when she ponders giving up, feigning a visit to the bathroom and shimmying out the door the large russian snakes an arm around her waist, guiding her along beside him as the group moves along. His palm is warm, and she can feel the rough edge of calluses through the thin satin fabric of her dress. 

Nikolai, she would come to learn, was up to as much good as she was. Of course he would be, she was at a fucking fancy dinner party for the god damn russian underground. Everyone here was either a politician or criminal, as if those things were different. It was both a worry and relief as Nikolai kept a firm hand against her side. As the group navigated toward a table, Nikolai pulled out her chair, sliding it close beside his own and taking her hand, guiding her down into seat like a gentleman before taking his seat beside her, unbuttoning his waist coat before settling. He leaned back,  draping an arm around her shoulders, settling an ankle against his knee as his fingers toyed with the strap of her dress. They looked like a regular couple, and she found herself a bit lost in the fantasy of it. Fake or not it had been some time since a man had held her this way, protective and possessive, with such nonchalance that it didn't feel suffocating. She didnt feel lesser next to this stranger, but cared for, watched over, with the underlying current that the man beside her can and most certainly has killed for less noble causes. 

The thought of it made something in her silly little brain purr and she leans against him, relaxing enough to play along just a bit more. For the bit of course. 

So much into the bit that she doesn't catch the conversation happening in her direction. Only blinks a bit owlishly as Nikolai looks at her with amusement. 

“Da, malyshka?” he asks with a chuckle. 

“Da” she chirps without delay, mustering up enough acting skills to at least repeat the simple affirmative with the correct lilt. 

Nikolai looks proud as he slides his fingers along her shoulder, cupping her neck in large palm, thumb petting along the baby hairs of her neck as he pulls her closer to his side in affectionate embrace. However rather than pull away, she stays there, cheek resting against his shoulder as he continues his petting. She feels warm against the man’s arm, safe and borderline sleepy, no longer concerned with the suspicious eyes that had followed her in the beginning of the night. Brave enough to legitimately excuse herself the the ladies room, she murmurs what she thinks is the correct phrase and he eases his arm away enough for her to wriggle out of the nest of his side. 

She’s washing her hands, listening to the soft music play through the corridor before an eerie silence has her freezing. The music stops, and all that can be heard is very angry sounding russian being barked across the music hall. She moves slowly, peering through the gap in the door to find her very saint throwing hands with far too many men to be a fair fight. Her bear sized knight crumpling to the floor when the butt of a rifle connects with his face.

Another man barks orders, pointing his finger across the hall. 

Nikolai was the first. And she was certainly next.

[papenniesandbentoboxes]

[a-star-that-burns-brightly]

I feel like my main sticking point with a lot of Post-CH2-12 Hu!Culprit theories / Hu lied about her alibi theories is that in all honesty, I simply cannot imagine Nico just... letting that slide. Especially if everyone's lives were on the line. If any Hu!Culprit people can sorta explain that thought process to me I'd appreciate it a lot

[awesomex7]

The new short better end with Diane treating to the gang's injuries in a caring fashion with a expression of concern.

She would be devastated to see her friends hurt. Even in cartoony slapstick situations. 😢

[xandriagreat]

Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought this was Edna Mode from The Incredibles.

They almost look the same!

Just one looks so done with the day while the other looks very happy/satisfied and full of energy.

[call-me-kitty]

I'm watching Dog Man just for this I kid you not.

[aggimaginary]

Woohoo! It's confirmed! They're back... again!

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[my-sibling-wears-a-muumuu]

guys I think we're sleeping on Toxic Valentine by All Time Low, from hit movie Jennifer's Body.

[psychopomp-namine]

so as of trial 5, here's the number of times people knew shuichi lied in the trials:

kokichi: probably every time tbh. he played along in trial 2 when kirumi was being implicated (because he also, by then, figured out kirumi was sabotaging the trial). he starts poking fun at shuichi by trial 4 then eventually gets pissed off (though tbh I think he was more so mad at gonta and shuichi's lying just tipped him over from annoyed to really mad). but he pretty much let shuichi do whatever he wanted for the other trials.

maki: 3x. the first time was when shuichi faked an alibi for her in trial 2. the second time was and when he lied about tenko dying immediately in trial 3, which maki would know because she's the one who told shuichi that tenko's death wasn't instant. interestingly, maki corroborates shuichi's lie to kokichi when asked, and kokichi was just like "¯\_(ツ)_/¯ mmmkay sure whatever you say." the third time, he says in trial 5 that there's no lock in the cockpit of the exisals, which again maki would know because she piloted one of those things herself. but to be fair, she was also lying about not using an exisal in the first place.

kaito: 1x. he helps corroborate shuichi's lie about maki having an alibi in trial 2.

keebo: 1x. shuichi lied about keebo not being able to see through his flashlight function lol. it was a pretty bad lie. keebo was flustered and just said he didn't remember anything.

kaede: 1x. shuichi tries to steer the class away from kaede once in trial 1.

I'm not counting any of his lies involving himiko since none of them seemed effective lol and they always make it seem like shuichi was just humoring the supernatural options rather than outright lying or falsifying evidence, unlike the rest of the time where he actually does make up alibis and fake facts to steer the case along. so when himiko is the target of shuichi's lies, it never seems like he's lying to or about her.

there was also a lie in trial 5 where it comes off more as "wishful thinking" than an actual lie, so I don't think kaito would have caught it as a lie.

so to conclude, kokichi and maki both have the most experience and knowledge of shuichi being a lying liar who lies.

[jaylynn1318]

Little Lies and Alibis: the banana spilts edition

When I remember this clip from king of the hill

And I saw the shotty car Wolf had in the sequel, cogs started working in my brain.

Okay I have two Stories, one with significantly more focus, one with Taaffeite, and one with the banana splits. Let’s start with Taffy first.

The Taffy scenario is simple. Wolf wanted to nice to Taaffeite by teaching her how to drive. At one point, she gets a PTSD attack and during her freak out, and Wolfie trying to calm her down and remind her she’s not in the amulet or homeworld’s prisoner, or part of a fusion with Angel Aura anymore, she wreck the car. Wolf doesn’t hold it against her, but he does mention he’s going to kill the homeworld gems if they come near her again.

The second scenario is with the banana spilts, the one is the most focus here.

If anyone doesn’t know, the spilts have a annual “great banana spilts race”

Starting here for proof

And during the race, the buggies broke down a lot. Bingo broke down during the most recent race, and was in Diane’s neighborhood when this happened. He tried fixing his buggy, he sees Wolf’s sweet new dig, and without any hesitation

Bingo: I’ll return it later😃

He hops in, the key still in the resignation(a bad habit that Wolf never fixed) and drove off.

Bingo won the race with the sports car and showed off to his Banana brothers, and Katherine(who acted as the flag girl since she was too young to drive), Fleegle first acted like he was against Bingo stealing a car, but then…

Fleegle: Bingo!😡 you know what we should do once we’re done?

He was in on it

Fleegle: once we’re done, we shou- we should fill it with gas, so the next time they’re start their car, they’ll be “ how that happened?”

After dropping Katherine back home, they had a joy ride with the car

Drooper: I feel young again

Cut to late at night where they’re still driving and now doing donuts with the car, having the time of their lives. They were getting dizzy.

Bingo: MY TURN!!! 🥴

Bingo took over while Fleegle, Drooper, and Snorky got out.

Fleegle: just for 5 minutes, we need to return it, and I think it’s starting to run out of fuel

It actually did run out of fuel immediately after the beagle said that. It was suddenly completely unresponsive to whatever Bingo did, and rolled down when Bingo got on a slanted surface, down to a quarry(I’m not sure if L.A has a quarry, but for the sake of the story, let’s pretend it does).

Bingo: AAAAHHHHHH

In a last ditch effort to save himself, Bingo jumped out the door and landed on the ground while the car was now sinking in the quarry

Bingo: a little bruised and dirty, but I think I’ll be alright😵‍💫…*sees the car sinking in the water*ohhh😥

Everyone present was ashamed

Fleegle: we won’t tell anyone about this, not even Katherine, am I clear

Bingo: oh yeah😰

Drooper: uh-huh😥

Snork: *honks*

They kept it to themselves until it get announced that the quarry would be drained due to being in bad shape, bad conditions, and turned into a homeless shelter. If this actually happened in the sequel, the spilts sub-plot would be trying to prevent the drainage in different ways, ie Fleegle trying use the fact he voted for Diane as leverage to get her to back off(all that did was getting them kicked off the premises), and joining a environmental group who wants to stop the project.

They don’t realize that car they stolen from was from the bad guys, until Diane mentioned that Wolf’s car disappeared around the same time their race happened, and they didn’t want to gang to kill them.

[dutiful-wildcraft]

Lies and Alibis

Part 2, Previous, Next

Nikolai/Plus Size F!OC

This one's a bit longer! Nothing to scary, but their is some violence. Again this is a bit silly and very self indulgent, please enjoy!!!

banner by @/une-femme-de-lettres

Life or death situations really do sober you up, which is really handy considering very big men with very big guns were now looking for her. She tries not to tremble too badly as she scans the bathroom for something, anything really to help her.

Best case scenario, she escapes with all her limbs intact. Preferably. 

Worst case scenario, they bust in and simply kill her then, a quick bullet to the dome. There were certainly more worse scenarios…but there was no time to line all those details out. She shudders. 

Think think think.

Locking the door would only make her presence inside more obvious. 

Find a weapon? She's seen broads in movies use the ceramic back of the toilet as pretty solid weapon before, she knows if she clocks someone just right it would at least knock them out. 

She peers into the stall, and of course there isn't one. Stupid automatic flusher. 

She turns again, eyes the small windows lining the far wall and nearly curses. She couldn't even fit her tits through the opening let alone the rest of her. Who the fuck even makes a window like that?

She can hear more yelling outside, and her heart pounds. She wasn't going to make it out. Not without someone seeing her.

She’s desperate, mind racing as a very hairbrained thought occurs to her.

If she was going to die cartoonishly, her fat ass wasn't going to be shot to swiss cheese hanging out of window she most certainly was going to get stuck in. Instead she works the glass pane open, pushing it as far as it could go before peeling off her heels and tossing them haphazardly onto the floor below the opening. 

With the clock ticking she scampers on bare feet into the handicap stall, leaving the door open a crack and climbing onto the toilet in the far corner. She was thankful that nicer bathrooms didn't have a crack a mile wide between the frames. She hunkers a bit, feet on the bowl with her ass resting against the wall to brace her. 

This was stupid, really.  Beyond stupid, suicidal even. But her mama did not raise a quitter. 

The door opens and her heart catches in her throat. She holds her breath as a pair of footsteps echo against the pearly tile. One set coming closer as the other kicks open the other closed stalls ahead of her. Oh god. She was going to die like this. On a toilet, Elvis style. She almost starts to cry, clutching her hands over her mouth to stifle her trembling breaths.

I escaped, I escaped. 

A voice rings out in the quiet, disbelieved barking.

“Blyat, Sbezhal!!”

What.

More cursing. A frantic phone call, and hurried steps out of the bathroom follow.

She waits. That…that seriously worked.

Holy shit. That worked.

She climbs down on shakey legs and puts an ear to the door, listening carefully for any more noise. The commotion must have cleared the place, and she cracks the door into the dead quiet. She'd planned to bolt, hit the door and run for her fucking life, but she thinks of her knight in glittering gold jewelry.

She doesn't know why now out of all times she feels guilty for a random russian mobster. He couldn't have been too much better than these other men, and for all she knows if it was his business she was poking into he would have had her murked too.

He helped you.

For reasons unknown, or perhaps even nefarious, but she didn't know that, just like he didn't know having her on his arm would get him a gun stock to the face.

Her eyes flicker between the door to her escape and the long hallway they'd taken him, and she sighs, long and ill suffering. 

-

This is beyond stupid, she grouses inwardly, crawling her way underneath another set of hallway length windows in an effort to not get her head blown off by the rifle toting jarhead she'd seen walking the perimeter. 

She didn't have much besides “Grab Nikolai and Leave”. The details around even that fuzzy, not to mention the man may or may not be dead…or at minimum very angry with her. She pauses dead for a second, a little spinning wheeling flashing in her mind's eye as she slowly works that problem out.

…maybe he won't be so mad if she helps him. He could at least get them out of there and hunt her another day. 

Too late to go back now. 

From what they could tell they were searching the woods for her. What remnants of the dinner party left long gone in the aftermath, with just a few men and her knight left. 

She continues following the trail of blood and black skid marks from well polished shoes down fancy tiled corridors. Pausing around the corner as the sound of wet thuds and pained grunts hit her ears, followed by more seething russian.

Words so snarled she can barely understand. Something about her, betrayal, stupidity. Their captive rasps. Feigning ignorance.

No, not feigning, telling the truth. As the familiar voice definitely belonged to Nikolai, a light edge to it despite his predicament. Her heart pangs with guilt. This was definitely her fault.

She's fully prepared to play the waiting game, find a place to hide until at least one of the guards leaves the room. That is until she hears the light tap of a shoe on tile far too late, turning just in time to catch the pistol careening with her face.

-

Fucking, ow. 

Her head bounces off the marble and she sees stars, body laying limply on the floor as she attempts to reboot.

He'd definitely busted her head open, hopefully she wouldn't need stitches, but probably considering she could already feel the blood slipping into her hairline. 

And as she takes stock of herself, she realizes that he definitely thinks he's knocked her out, judging by the way he bitches, grumbling about her weight before unceremoniously grabbing her ankle and dragging her along.

She bites her tongue, forces herself to fall limp despite the radiating pain in her skull. Cracking like lightning as her head thunks between the grout. 

Eventually she's stopped, her thick leg flung hatefully to the floor as a door slams behind her. She keeps still. Listening. There was another, ragged labored breaths. She dares to crack her eye just a smidgen, taking in the blurry visage that was Nikolai, his limp black locks hiding his face from her view.

Okay. Target located. She hadn't necessarily planned playing possum to get there but hey, a win is a win. 

Win number two, a knocked out fat girl was apparently not threatening enough to justify security. Her arms and legs left splayed lifelessly beside her and undisturbed.

The door clicks again. Followed by heavy footsteps.

New problem.

She cracks her eye again, watching the guard stalk back and forth through the blurred slit of her eyelids. His back, thankfully toward her. 

He's yapping again, yanking Nikolai back by the hair to sneer. Monologuing as power hungry idiots are wont to do.

Her eyes scan the room fully now. She can make this work. He's bigger than her but she's got enough ass to swing hard if she needs to. Enough pressure in the right place can knock anyone out. Jaw, temple, base of skull, she lists. 

Her eyes search, lamp, chair, paperweight, all doable but loud….her eyes fall just above her. Pretty velvet curtains tied back neatly with thick, golden tasseled chord. Bingo.

Keeping her eyes glued to her chatty assailant she reaches upward, fingers barely grasping at the silky strands before tugging it down the length of the curtain, catching it swiftly before it could thunk against the floor. 

She'd needed to be quick for her next trick. She eases herself up. Wrapping the chord around both palms, steeling herself for what could very well be the worst decision she's ever made. Cut off blood supply, crush his windpipe. She pictures the anatomy in her head, and before she can bitch out she lunges, throwing the chord around his throat and yanking.

There's a choked gasp as she twists, turning her body 180 and pulling down sharply, attempting to use her own weight to assist in strangling the man. He thrashes against her back, nearly toppling them both over.  She's too short, his legs still able to scrabble against the ground.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

She twists again, maneuvering her arms to twist the makeshift garrote around his throat into more of a noose. They both stumble in the struggle, falling to the floor in a heap. 

Absolutely fucking not.

She scrambles, keeping the chord pulled taut around the guards neck as she kicks her feett out, planting them both against the man's shoulders and yanking with all her might. Keeping her legs stiff and holding onto the chord for dear life, palms straining as she simultaneously pushes and pulls.

He really flails now, legs kicking and eyes bulging. Dull nails drawing blood against her calves and ankles where he fights to claw her off. She'd be impressed with his tenacity had she not been fearing for her own life. How fucking long did it take to strangle someone?

“Pull harder, zaychonok” a voice rasps over the gurgling and choking in the room. Nikolai.

And she does, grunting with the effort as she pushes with her knees, keeping the chord pulled tight against her chest, whole body beginning to tremble with the effort. 

“pull, keep pulling, more, more”

The man at her feet tries to howl, frothing and flailing desperately before there is a sickening pop. His body falling limp and silent. She sags, panting harshly, letting her cheek rest against the cool tile of the floor. Her hands throbbed, burned and bloodied from the rope, but she was alive, blessedly alive.

Which could not be said for the guard. 

She shoots up, flinging the chord viciously from her hands and stares at him. He's dead alright, head cranked at an unnatural angle, dead eyes bulging and painted red from broken vessels. His neck painted in varying shades of red and purple. 

It makes her stomach churn. 

She stares at the body, her memory carving his corpse into the inside of her skull. It’s not that she hadn't seen a dead body before, she's seen plenty. She's just…never been the direct result of a dead body. The words Do No Harm, echoes in her brain. 

“Zaya”

She flinches, eyes bouncing to Nikolai who watches her carefully.  “Fetch me his knife” he instructs, and his voice is soft, surprisingly gentle given the situation. She follows, moving on autopilot to flip the thug over and snag the knife from his belt. 

She stumbles toward him. Clumsy like a newborn foal as she cuts the zip ties from his wrists with trembling fingers. Vehemently ignoring looking at the dead man on the floor. 

Nikolai makes a little relieved sound, rubbing his aching wrists as she circles back around. He carefully tugs the knife from her hands, never taking his eyes off of her as he slides it against his belt.

“Good job” he murmurs, hooking a hand a bit to roughly against her shoulder. Shaking her from her thoughts again. The poor man looks rough, they both do. Thankfully it’s something she thinks a few stitches and a bath couldn't fix. But something else occurs to her.

“You speak english.” she deadpans, staring at him with exhausted eyes, and this mad bastard has the gall to let out a small wet laugh.

“Very observant” he chuckles, patting her shoulder moving across the room on stiff legs. He plucks a handgun from the desk drawer and checks the magazine. Satisfied , he slides it into his belt, bending again to pick up the guard’s fallen handgun making the same check. He eyes her with a raised brow.

“Can I trust you with this?”

She swallows hard, nods. It’s been a while, but she knows how to use it. 

He approaches, quickly going over the safety, how to clear it, before pushing it into her hand. His warm palm slides over the metal, gripping her wrist securely. He folds his chin to his chest, looking into her eyes. Holding her attention. 

“Stay close to me, keep your hand off the trigger, we will survive.”

“Da” she repeats, preening just a bit as he smiles at her.

[nancydrewpcpolls]

Part 1 | Part 2

[offyoupop-easypeasy]

'And Then There Was Shawn' + Alibi

[And now I can't even recognize myself anymore

Please, give me something to convince me I am not a monster]

[awesomex7]

A little angsty idea...

LITTLE LIES AND ALIBIS SPOILERS:

After the gang got home from a chaotic day and everything was sorted out with their parole officer... Everyone was exhausted.

Snake sighed and curled up on the couch, watching the cooking channel, trying to relax...

Piranha sat next to him to join him...

Snake grunted, annoyed that Piranha was close to him and tries to gently push him away.

Piranha whimpered and flinched...

The marks from the truck tires, still stung.

Snake's mouth shook. Webs was shocked, they were beaten by bikers, and Piranha got ran over. They fell off a highway because of Snake's lack of less control. Wolf was dragged along the road, Shark almost... bit it, it was too much...

Snake began sobbing holding the poor fish softly.

Then Shark joined in, Webs, and Wolf...

Comforting each other.

One bad day won't bring them down. Not when they have each other.

[xandriagreat]

The Aftermath of The Bad Guys: Little Lies and Alibis.

Diane picks up the gang from their meeting and is surprised to see them looking like they've been through Kevin McCallister's traps from Home Alone.

The gang does explain what happened in the car (Diane's car) on the drive home.

Diane does take care of them when they're home and the gang pass out/fall asleep after getting the care.

[niaerinisms]

Uh....