#lgbt-advise

[thequeenofthestorm]

Does Anyone Have SRS Advice?

Hey so like how does one go about getting the whole SRS process started? That part of my body gives me insane amounts of dysphoria but I've no idea where to begin or where to ever get the money required for it, as my insurance doesn't cover it. If anyone has any (US-centric) advice I would love to know!

[chollin1]

I know this isn’t really how things work but can someone like diagnose my sexuality or something

I don’t dislike kissing and touching and stuff, well sometimes I do I guess. But if I went my whole rest of my life without kissing someone or having sex I really don’t give a shit. Now I haven’t tried sex yet, I’ve kissed people and in the moment I liked it but sitting here rn I don’t feel a strong desire to.

It could theoretically be that I haven’t found a person I’ve wanted to do that with yet, or..?

Am I ace???? Am I on the ace spectrum??? Am I ace enough to use that label???

Bro idk

I really hate it though when I’m on a date and a guy looks at me and I know he wants to kiss me I hate it so much because I don’t want to do that at least not in that moment like maybe later bro calm down

[undercooked-icicle]

Hey, queer people of Tumblr. Com, hypothetically if you had been hiding the fact that you were trans from your parents for three years, not because they wouldn't support you, but because it would change every dynamic in your family, but now you need to, how would you go about doing that?

[i-am-a-secret-ssshhh]

This girl I haven't seen in nearly 7 years reached out, and why does it kind of feel like she's flirting with me? Am I that bad at reading signals?

I fear as though I am having a gay panic moment, despite not knowing if she's gay or interested, or maybe I'm just lonely?!

Help

[bobzora]

what do i have to do to get more people to play persona 2. you guys would love persona 2 i promise. it's a little annoying to play but it's worth it guys. it's worth it. tatsuya. trust me guys.

[heartstopper-lover123]

Please help!

So my dad and sisters were out of the house and it was just me and my mum. So I asked her if she and I could go to a pride parade in June to which she agreed to but I'm not out to my dad yet and we need to tell him where we are going. We aren't telling him the truth but we don't know where to tell him we are going. If we say the place the parade is, he might guess that it's for pride and I'm not ready to come out to him yet. So if anyone has any ideas of what to say to him, please rb with an answer or message me. Any advise is welcome <33

[uncanny-tranny]

so there's this word <3 that i want to use as a name, but i'm worried that it might be too weird? it doesn't sound weird to /me/ when i imagine someone using it in a classroom or at work, but what if i'm wrong? how can i tell if a word is too 'strange' to be used as a name?

I think a name is only "too strange" to go by if you don't feel it represents you or makes you happy to be represented by, if that makes sense. You can absolutely test run the name out just to see if it would feel odd, but by no means is "having a strange name" a bad thing. It's honestly really cool, as somebody who once had a Strange Name, to have a name that might be considered odd.

[pinkdean]

No but I was explaining the Situation to my friend and she was like "why tf would they (wb) encourage that?" And I had to remind her that any other celebrity coming out and then backtracking to say it was a joke would come across as IMMENSELY homophobic. Like anyone else would have been canceled for that instantly and it only turned out ok/funny because it was misha collins and both he and his fans are insane

[trash-and-trash-accessories]

I write a lot of posts that are like, specifically about my friends. I wrote this literally when I got home from my friend's drag show and constantly people are reblogging it like "What about women? Do you think women like being forced to be feminine?!"

I don't know, this post was about my nonbinary friends. A lot of people who aren't nonbinary related to it and felt like it fit their experience as trans men and trans women and that's amazing!

But there's so many "What about women?! Do you think women enjoy performing femininity?!" comments on here.

I don't know, what about trumpet players? Do you think trumpet players like emptying out their spit valves? No really do you think they enjoy doing that? They do it a lot. The stage is always covered in puddles of saliva. Like so much of it. Do you think they like doing that? Are they getting some kind of sick pleasure out of it? Is that why they're always doing it?

What was I talking about?

I know SEVERAL afab nonbinary people who, as soon as they came out as nonbinary - immediately began dressing in ridiculous hyper-femme outfits they never would have worn before.  A lot of people see this and say shit like “Theyfab” or say they are only nonbinary for attention.  After all, look how femme they are.

But to me, this makes perfect sense.  When you are forced into the category of “woman” against your will, femininity is a chore.  It’s a job that you have.  As soon as you say no, I’m not a woman, suddenly femininity isn’t your job anymore.  It’s not a requirement.  It’s just a fun hobby you can get into.  Or a little treat sometimes.

[pastormike1976]

Knowing when to say "YES"

[glitched-galaxy-collective]

Sometimes, life can be very exhausting and scary

Just take a moment to breathe

Put on some kind of media that makes you happy (music, videos, movies)

Think about all the good things you've experience. Remember the bad you've somehow managed to live through

Remember, you are still alive

If someone is getting in the way of you taking time for yourself, they don't have your best interest in mind

Sometimes, self care looks, and maybe even feels, selfish. But it's not. I promise it never is

Taking breaks to better yourself are good

You deserve it

Sincerely and lovingly, your friend Xhaos🤘

Have a wonderful day guys

[beltaine8dryad]

Story idea but don't know what to do with it.

I have a short story idea. that could develop into an entire chonky novel but to be fair. i like the simplicity of it.

It's about a soap maker who while foraging in the nearby woods. discovers a garden and starts plugging from there thinking the place is abandoned Obviously, it isn't, there is a witch that has been living there for ages but can't move as much as when she was young. The main character's grandmother has lowkey beef with this witch(I ship them) and it's just this soap maker helping the witch to keep her garden and getting arcane knowledge from her. I could make an illustrate something about this but my digital art skills are not as amazing. I don't know if this should be a kid's book because I did think about heavy shit for it and lesbian tension too so... Yes the witch and the grandma! I kind of want to tell people about it. It's such juicy gossip. I NEED FRIENDS! WHAT DO I DO WITH THIS SHIT I HAVE IN MY GOOGLE SHEETS??

[hoarderheart]

the funniest fucking thing about that shithole of a sub is that they have a rule against “low-effort” posts but literally at least a third of the shit they post on there are reposts of stuff from HERE. like TUMBLR posts but with cropped off usernames because they got it from other reposters on pinterest. gifsets and memes made by both the destielers and wincesties that they so deeply loathe. and yet they’d delete a meme actually made by the OP because it’s a destiel meme, and then say that the reason is that it’s “low-effort”. the amount of utter hypocrisy from that sub is genuinely baffling

The supernatural subreddit is so anti destiel its hilarious

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

For some people, just reading facts is less educational than actively engaging with them - so here’s a little pop quiz on HIV transmission! 

I’ll tell you some scenarios and you can try to answer if you think you could get HIV that way or not. You’ll find the correct answers under the cut! 

You go swimming with some friends. You later learn that one of them is HIV-positive. You were in the water at the same time. 

You had sex without a condom. It was with your long-term partner and it’s a closed relationship (neither of you has sex with others). You both got tested early on in the relationship, both were negative, but it has been some years since then. 

You got so drunk at a party that you don’t fully remember what happened. You believe you may have had sex with someone there but, for the life of you, you just can’t remember who it was or if you used protection. 

You had to pee really really bad while out and about, so you ended up using a public restroom that was pretty gross and dirty. 

You went on a couple dates with someone. You kissed a few times but didn’t go any further. They just contacted you and told you they tested positive for HIV. 

You live with a roommate. They had some friends over and you just realized one of them apparently used some of the body lotion you were storing in the bathroom. 

You had casual sex with someone. You used a condom but they later on told you that it slipped off during the act and that they didn’t say anything to not ruin the mood. 

One of your friends is HIV-positive. You often hug them or you snuggle while watching tv together. Sometimes you even share a drink (from the same cup). 

You used what you believed to be your own lip balm. You feel grossed out when you realize it’s not yours: your coworker accidentally put theirs in your coat pocket. 

You are in a long term relationship and are regularly sexually active without a condom. You just learned your partner cheated on you multiple times. 

Correct answers below the cut: 

1.No risk. HIV cannot survive in water and is not transmitted through casual contact.

2.No risk (if everyone is honest). If neither of you has had any other partners since the tests, and you haven’t been exposed to HIV through other means, there’s no risk. (However, if there is any uncertainty (you worry they may lie about not sleeping with anyone else etc.), it’s a good idea to get retested!) 

3. Potential risk. Unprotected sex can transmit HIV, so it’s recommended to get tested if you’re uncertain about protection use or the partner’s status.

4. No risk. HIV is not transmitted through surfaces, including toilets, regardless of cleanliness.

5. No (to extremely low) risk. HIV is not transmitted through saliva, so kissing does not pose a risk. (The only risk would be if both of you had sores or bleeding gums and blood from the HIV-positive partner gets into the bloodstream of the HIV-negative partner. This is extremely unlikely.)

6. No risk. HIV does not survive well outside the human body and is not transmitted through sharing personal care items like lotion.

7. Potential risk. If the condom slipped off, there may have been some exposure to bodily fluids, which could transmit HIV. Testing is advised. (Side note: Consent is only true consent if everyone is informed on what’s going on. In this scenario, you did not consent to having sex without a condom! Regardless of them not wanting to “ruin the mood”: That’s a form of sexual assault.) 

8. No risk. HIV is not transmitted through casual skin contact like hugging or snuggling. HIV is also not spread through saliva (drinking from the same cup). 

9. No risk. HIV cannot survive well outside the body and is not transmitted via shared lip balm.

10. Potential risk. If your partner has had other partners, there is a risk of exposure. Testing is recommended. 

How many did you get right? 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[justin-chapmanswers]

Sorry if this is a bit rude, but how do you consider yourself as he/they or they/he? I am questioning my sexuality and gender at the moment and seeing you (idk if ur lgbt) makes me find comfort, if you can, how did you realise you were not straight and how I can find mine! :3

Oh golly uh. Let's see if I can keep this short and then bury it under other answers. <3

Labels are fun cause they're so funky and ever-changing as you learn more about yourself. So, firstly, don't stress about finding something so perfect right away and bounding yourself to it. You're still you, any way you word it.

Gender-wise I'm in a state of def preferring they but being chill enough with he. Like whateverrrrr. It's hard to get around societal norms and perceptions, so my expectations are calibrated accordingly. I of course feel that for people who feel more strongly about a specific label, it's important to fight for it to be recognized whenever you're in a safe-enough environment to do-so. But for me, the concept of pushing for a specific label or, even more-so, of seeing other people pushing others to use a specific label for me is veryyyy anxiety-inducing. I tend to avoid spotlight when possible. But at the same time, a lot of it just comes down to not wanting to be grouped/perceived gender-ly at all. I tend to use the label agender. But I'm sure a lot of people have similar experiences with different labels. I just, ya'know, wanna be me.

Gender exploration is funnnn. There's no one right way to learning about yourself. Some people know from a young age, almost inherently, some people figure things out a lot later. It's never too late. Some people learn with outfits and styles, some with looking to people/characters who they want to be perceived more-like, some with experimenting through new names/pronouns and feeling-out how being called different things makes them feel. If you have friends you feel safe around with all of this, on or offline, can't hurt to say "hey would ya mind calling me x-name or y-pronoun for a bit?" And if you don't like it, you don't need to stick with it. But really be cognizant of it feels right to you.

Then on the romantic orientation side, that's been a much longer journey haha. I was calling myself straight through middle schooler, bi for a bit in early high school, gay starting in later high school, then for a long while. Nowadays I just say queer. Labels make things easier, until they don’t haha. For me, if you imagine a scale of feminity to masculinity with like little pegs running down the line from 0 to 10, with 5 in the middle, I tend to find myself attracted to people in like the 4 to 8 range? Something like that. But even that's not perfectly consistent! There's never going to be a perfect word for everything. That's why I like queer as an umbrella term. It's also just a cute word, I don't make the rules.

Hence earlier when I mentioned that you should just feel free to keep it open and not close yourself off. Maybe nothing'll change, but what if something does? But of course, I assume you're asking from more of a place of just starting this journey. I'm trying to get my mind back to where I started with that. I think the first time the not-straight realization hit was when a friend of mine didn't show up to an event and I was all like "why am I so miserably sad that he wasn't there?" And then a lightbulb appeared over my head and out-loud I said "aw damnit." And then things have been weird and confusing ever since.

But in terms of giving advice, it's hard to not just be like "uhh idk just hang out with people that makes you feel gooey." But obviously it's more complicated than that. A decade ago, I was taking random "am I gay" tests online. But they're kinda silly cause the questions on those would ask me to fill in information about how I feel, but how am you supposed to know how I feel without the test telling me how I feel??????? So realistically, I'd advise private journaling. Just take some time, even five minutes. Start now. Write out who you are drawn to, in any sense, and how they make you feel. Especially if you're like me and have trouble self-reflecting unless I force myself to. Like. In a Tumblr post.

There's so many ways to explore. It's also nice to look at relationships in life and media and seeing if you connect to any relationship or long to fit into someone's place within a relationship. That's why representation matters, baybeeeee! But also, ya'know, talking to people goes a long way to learning about yourself. Trial 'n error let's gooooo.

And above all: you got this.

[demonicmiracles]

HEY YOU, yes you

You wanna read an actively updating book? For free?

I’m sure you do!! If ya like fantasy, you’ll enjoy The Corruption! It’s a fantasy novel where Jaryn the orc and his brother Ryo the fox have to uncover who the killer targeting humans is and stop them. He’s joined by Havre the centaur and Garbone the elf! It also features a large portion of LGBT characters with a queer romantic subplot!

I’m uploading the first draft of my first novel to read FOR FREE! If you read it, you get a chance to get a discount on the fully published book if you can answer questions. You can read it on my World Anvil page here: https://www.worldanvil.com/community/manuscripts/read/3006193037-elven-obsidian-arts-the-corruption-first-draft

Just be aware there is depictions of violence and gore, as well as mentions of sexual assault, so reader’s discretion is advised!