#letting myself post more sketchy stuff

[coastalmangoes]

v2 sketches

song

[be-good-to-bugs]

wip

[bbyteach]

Hi hi. I have been thinking about this good morning artwork since you posted. https://www.tumblr.com/bbyteach/757072025688866816/good-morning

It popped into my dreams last night fully animated. I just love it so much. The quiet intimacy. The shadows and colors. The softness conveyed by sharp and delicate line variations.

Getting back into drawing again after years of not and would love to know more about your process and materials. How you sketch. Do you use models? I cannot get over how real bodied these men are in your panels and illustrations.

Love following your work here and on your main blog. Appreciate your talent so much.

hey sorry i've been letting this one sit in my inbox for a bit while my life was a bit chaotic with work - but I do love this ask and talking about process! and i very much appreciate the love for the drawing, thank you for the commentary on the quiet intimacy!

For me it's a combination of starting from a reference, or, sketching out a pose and checking with a reference. I save a BUNCH of ref photos, and I'll pull up a few to look at to check on anatomy. i also have a huge camera roll of weird ref photos I take of myself. I do little checks with my own hands to see what's actually physically possible and such. I also try to keep in mind proportions and how that can be obscured by the lens in photos, so I also use guides on average human proportions:

also can't beat just good old fashioned pencil measuring to check

but outside of the basics, the general proportions of bodies are basically the same at different sizes, it's just getting used to knowing & looking at different bodies! I think this resource seems good - x

def recommend life drawing classes if you have any in person, but I think there's a lot online too. and draw your friends. draw real people you know (with permission). don't only look at people who will be on a cover of vogue or marvel heroes or whatever.

And i sketch a lot. my sketches kind of suck and normally don't look great. lol. i have an astigmatism so it takes a bit of rendering and trial and error to get it to feel like it looks... 'right'? if that makes sense. but also I did a few years only sketching in pen to get more comfortable just doing Lines. i have so many sketchbooks with very sketchy pen work that I would do between work/meetings/whenever I had any real time to do anything that wasn't those things. In recent years it's been great to really get back into drawing again. It's okay if you didn't do it as much or at all for awhile, it's always something you can do more of and refine over the years. 💖

it means so much to recieve so much love on my silly drawings and get a request on my drawing process because I still don't feel like i'm nowhere near where I want to be, and I think that's just the eternal problem for every artist. but I have a compulsion to keep drawing regardless and i just love to make stuff and I like talking with folks who also love to make stuff! I hope any of this helps or wasn't saying anything that felt too repetitive to any other advice or ideas you've heard before. 🙏

[sothasil]

Have you ever made or been involved on a large scale, art-related project other than beyond skyrim? Asking because the quality of your art is really honed; it reminds me of professional published material.

Hello and thank you! I have not. I do have years of art school under my belt though, and before that I have been drawing since forever. My studies had me work on projects with professional intent and I've interned in a game studio once. While currently still looking for work, the state of the industries I could work in and my inexperience are such that I have little to no chance of finding work right now. Just keeping on making my fanarts and own stories with as much bravado as I could being paid for the time being

Though I must say, that's a really touching compliment for me. Years ago, someone told me they recognized me as "the sketchy elder scrolls artist" (as in I posted sketches, not shady lol) and while it was a compliment it made me a bit self conscious and since then I've tried only sharing finished, polished pieces on there. And you are confirming that got noticed haha!

I hope one day I'll be working on more big art projects, I really love participating in teamwork and how it lets you achieve crazy goals! If it's online fan projects you'll absolutely see it here, like the zine pieces I sometimes post and my Beyond Skyrim stuff :)

And if you do want to see my sketches...guess I might post that again some day if people like it? Already been considering sharing time lapses because I love seeing them myself. Cheers anon, have a lovely day!

[bosskie]

Draw Abe and Molluck kissing.

'You know, Abe, I always somehow liked you. I didn't name you the employee of the year for nothing. I designed Mudokon Pops look like you for a reason. I would still have enjoyed killing you, I wasn't even supposed to like you, so killing you including my own feelings toward you would have been the right choice. You, blue bastard, ruined my life but also saved it... I have dreamed of crushing you but now, instead of that, I feel another kind of desire of a crush. Kiss me, you schmuck!' Molluck told Abe after they had done their parts of the deal of helping each other.

I'm actually glad that you suggested me to draw that since I have been joking about Molluck and Abe turning from enemies into lovers but never said a word about it. So, thank you for giving me a reason to draw it! (Y) Yeah, what an odd couple they would be but hey, it's Oddworld! The best 'from enemies to lovers' thing I could still imagine (I know nothing about this stuff though, only the concept).

Frankly, I'm kinda surprised at how little Abe x Molluck stuff I have seen, just one 'spicy' drawing... (I don't know about fan fiction, I don't read it.) So yeah, I personally like this ship. It's not easy to explain why but it just has depth, is odd but 'makes sense'... It's just would be quite interesting in general.

I basically had two ideas for this but I chose this one since I got this 'from enemies to lovers' idea, and well, now I 'came out' with it. I wasn't sure about where to draw them but they are somewhere at Nolybab where the sun doesn't shine, underground I mean. Molluck's name has been cleared and Abe could meet his mother, and it was all thanks to their collaboration. They were reluctant to work together at first but their relationship developed during that, and Molluck let his softer side come out more. This is idea is basically behind this Molluck x Abe thing. I know, it can sound so odd but it's not the first time if I'm odd for something I like; I have heard it for so many times already. Oh, and yeah, maybe you also noticed that Abe has no longer his stitches; it makes the kissing easier too. (Y)

And yeah, this came out more 'proper' than I planned but it's still 'quick-ish' since it's not fully rendered and looks kinda sketchy. This was also challenging to draw and I wasn't' sure of how to draw them kissing, like I didn't want it to be 'too intimate', so something simple enough. I hope that this looks okay at least. I just felt really bad about my drawing skills last night out of nowhere, so I just wish that my art doesn't look like Slog shit. I just kinda don't like how this came out but that 'better image' I have inside my head feels 'too intimate'... Just didn't feel like going 'too far' with this. Also yeah, I used a bit different style here since I'm still trying to figure out my way to do digital art, even I have done it for so many years... It's just that it feels like I'm never pleased with my art style; it makes difficult for me to feel like I had any artistic talent... I'm still always just trying my best.

Let's just say that posting stuff like this in public is difficult for me, even I still would like to post stuff like this... I don't even draw proper self-ship stuff and I rarely even draw it, even I think about myself with Molluck every single day. I guess it's mainly due to my self-hatred, like why I would spend so much time on drawing something only I'll see. I just have never drawn anything as proper as this about me and Molluck. Maybe I should but I cannot help myself but think that it's waste... I'm sorry but I just feel so awful about myself... Last night was just another night when I asked Molluck to eat me... I'm so sorry for this vent but I'm just so tired of this and cannot be silent, pretend that I was okay when I feel like crying...

I still hope that my stuff is enjoyable, even when I feel like I should just delete everything here... It's just because I can see my stuff looking so awful sometimes. I just don't feel like I draw Molluck well enough; he is still challenging to draw... I think that I should end writing for now; I just feel so bad about my stuff right now...

This doesn't really relate to the drawing, anon. This is just the usual stuff my condition makes me feel... But hopefully you like it and don't regret suggesting me to draw that kiss. I really liked drawing this still and that's probably why I painted this more than I planned; the idea of this drawing amuses me. (I tend to enjoy creating stuff in general but I rarely like what I created, the outcome I mean... Oh, and I don't really mind Molluck being with someone else than me. They are just different stories and I'm just glad that Molluck gets love!)

I just have difficulties with expressing love in public (even if it didn't relate to me, being about a ship like this), even I do have done it many times here, told you how much I love Molluck but, it still feels challenging... Like posting my 'Molluck love sculpt' was kinda scary actually but I still posted it, especially because I put so much effort on him. I don't even know what I was afraid of, I'm already used to people seeing me as a weirdo. Maybe I'm just afraid of love because this self-hatred just makes me even wish that no one loved me. But my heart still tells me that it's not true that I'm not someone to love.

Even I love Molluck with my whole heart, wish to hug and kiss him, enjoy his body every single day, it kinda scares me to be loved back... I know, it can sound odd but it's just that I don't see myself worth loving and just wish good for the others when I try to prevent them from loving me since I feel like I'm only waste of everything. My condition really makes me act and think like this. Even I realize how this is unhealthy and I imagine Molluck being confused about this behavior, it's still so difficult to feel like I'm someone to love... But the important thing is at least that I always imagine Molluck loving me, even it's difficult for me to receive that love. Even I do enjoy imagining that Molluck enjoys and loves me too, I still can feel like it's better for Molluck if he didn't... It makes me feel bad/sad but it just feels 'right' since I'm not someone to love...

These awful thoughts just don't wanna leave me alone... And if I sometimes do not vent to my posts, it doesn't always mean that I felt better. It can also mean that I feel like I should be just silent, I'm only ruining everything with my vent... It's just making me feel a bit less alone with this shit when I write this stuff here, and hopefully I can give some peer support. Also, if one day my stuff is gone or if this blog seems abandoned, you know why. I don't wish to bring more negative energy to here but I just cannot hide my condition; I'm just trying to save my life.

~ I really appreciate your tolerance and support!

[starrytowonder]

The way that manifestation is literally saving my ass on the daily LMFAO 😭😭

Seriously!

I've been having so much fun recently just manifesting stuff to make my life easier lol? I wanted to share some cool things I manifested super recently.

1 - Not needing a lockdown browser when taking a college exam: so I was scheduled to take an exam on my laptop/iPad for my class and the thing is, I have a Chromebook laptop. I didn't want to have to go to the campus library to take the tes because my Chromebook didn't support the lockdown browser AND my setting up the lockdown browser app on the iPad was sketchy and frustrating as hell. So before the test was announced I affirmed like a few times and visualized my teacher saying smth like "you won't need the lockdown browser for the test btw"...anyways that same morning the teacher let us know that we did need the lockdown browser, which went against my visualization, and it made me panic, BUT I managed to quickly calm myself and just reassured that I'd be fine for the exam. The day of the exam, I downloaded the app on my iPad and was basically shitting myself cus I was scared that it would all fuck up...but guess what?? The exam launched WITHOUT the lockdown starting, and it processed perfectly!? I also visualized my desired score range for the exam before I submitted it (canvas auto-grading) and I also got that manifestation as well!! It just goes to show that even if the manifestation seems fucked up in the moment, if you want it then it'll happen lol!

2 - Better health / not being sick: Basically my sister spread her germs all around me and one night I literally FELT my throat start to hurt and I panicked (I have been hospitalized before for a cold and I am traumatized fr) and so that night I reassured myself that I wouldn't get sick and that my throat doesn't hurt. I slept well that night but the morning after I woke up stuffy and the normal cold symptoms showed up. Again I was scared that I had just failed the manifestation and wallowed all day...but I do remember slightly just telling myself that I was not sick. Anyways, today is the day after that, and I am perfectly FINE. No nose stuffiness, no cough, I feel completely normal. This is so spooky to me cus I've never healed from a cold so fast.

3 - Package from AliExpress coming wayyyyy early: If you've ever ordered from there you know the shipping can lag a ton if you choose a store with minimal reviews...and I did that. However, I just affirmed that the package would get here quick. 5 Days later and it's here!! It arrived today lmaooooo 😭😭

Hopefully this post finds people who like some more slice of life "average" manifestation stories lmao. I manifest shit daily and so easily, it really is just a matter of practice. (⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠)

[wuzhere75]

More goofy idiots; high school musical edition. Also yeah I probably just could have gotten away with Kinkajou (also yes both her and Qibil’s names are misspelled AF in the image I’m not fixing it right now) plus the actual protags but I need to practice for Arc 3 which aparently has like several dozen pseudo-protagonists, which I’m probably going to do in a slightly different style because I like the idea of trying sketchy line art with the procreate brush pen.

Okay now time for the actual headcanons

-I originally was going to give Moon a way different design (her horns where going to be long and curved like ibex horns/crescent moons but I couldn’t get that to work in the sketch; she was going to have a split color design, like one side of her body was going to be light and the other dark like a half moon), but then my brain went “albino=white/pink with red eyes, that’s moon-y because the moon looks white from earth sometimes and blood moons are a thing so red”. I do like the sketch I came up with. I still think I could have gone harder with the wrinkly skin and underbite, since I imagine it those are details frequently found on Nightwings from the volcano.

-I think Moon being a twist villain, or at least an untrustworthy character, would be kind of interesting. Like if she had been the final POV character instead and she’d been kind of this ambiguous, somewhat suspicious guide to the Darkstalker stuff.

-The entire modern Icewing royal family is considered somewhat strange looking by that tribes standards; unusually short horns, typically no fur, and oddly dark and saturated colors. I’m not from a place that gets snowy, white winters that often. More “everything dies back and it gets muddy, foggy, and frosty”, thus Winter’s color palette.

-I have a headcanon that firescales/fireless twin sets are technically identical (Sky being NB), it’s just due to the presences of no/too much fire, their features develop differently. Peril has far richer and saturated colors than Sky, but their actual patterns are identical. Due to her fire, Peril’s feathers never properly grew in (she’s like the sphinx cat equivalent of a Skywing), while Sky by comparison is very floofy. However if you peeled Sky (shaved off their feathers), they would have the exact same body shapes and features as their sister. Also the aforementioned color patterns are based of the American Kestrel.

-I have a couple of old Turtle designs kicking around my Procreate; I originally was going to use one of them (which I might post at some point to embarrass myself), to inspire this one. However, I ended up creating something entirely new. My original design had him as a lot more solid, gross yellow-y shade of green, with no tan underbelly or needle. However I discovered that the underbelly and needle would give him some nice resemblance to his sister Tsunami. Also I was using mata-mata turtles as one of my primary design references and damn those bois got schnoze.

-Turtle also would have been an interesting twist villain. Like if we got faked out like “he’s too suspicious to be the bad guy” and then he just is.

-Funny thing about Qibil; I always mis-remembered Qibils earring as having a black diamond earring rather than an “orange sunstone” one. Perhaps I was confusing his drip with Blister’s. He gets both as a treat. Also the reason why he has the classic fan depiction head sail strandy-thingy because of the scar his mom gave him. The sail behind the scar grew back all delicate and long; he’s let it grow out to see how long it can get.

-The little unneeded spite for the series/fandom I have for some reason built up on Qibil for some reason. Maybe because seemingly the rest of the fandom worships the little guy. I’d probably like him if I actually read the books, but I have developed a stupid re-write of him where he is sort of like the annoying little brother of the Jade Winglet and Jade Moutain as a general who thinks he is hotter shit than he is that nobody dares talk down to for fear of bringing mama Thorn or big sister Sunny down on their asses. He’s tried to flirt with everybody in his winglet and they’ve all pushed him away with some degree of gentleness.

-IDK who was the first fan artist to do magenta-yellow-cyan Kinkajou but it sure as hell works. I have a headcanon that younger Rainwing dragonets tend to have brighter, saturated comfort colors (image the “crayola water marker base pack” color palette). However as Rainwings mature, they tend to “mild” out their comfort colors with more varied hues. Thus, she used to have the neon pink-yellow color palette when she was younger. Also she kind of ended up looking kind of like a lychee or rambutan and I love it.

-I didn’t have too many thoughts on Umber. I mostly just focused on making him look different enough from Clay while still making him look like a possible sibling.

-I thought I was going to put more effort into Carnelians design, but I ended up just yeeting something together based off the real world carnelian stone.

-I know Anenome is described as being pink and blue/white in the books, but where I live we have neat little pink tipped green anemones so that’s her color palette. Also I imagine she wears a lot more jewelry when she’s at home but she just took a few things with her to school.

[loveforlandonorris]

🎤 Lando at the post-Sprint press conference in Qatar:

Interviewer: Lando, a hard race for you out there, down to 6th at the start, you fought your way through. How tough was it?

Lando: It was very tough. Yeah, any chance to go backwards I pretty much took (laughs). But yeah, just from the right-side of the grid, which was a lot worse than the left, on the Medium, was just always going to be very, very tough. But yeah, I hung on, the first few laps and then just as soon as you got in the rhythm, we had the Safety Cars and so on, the same as the others.

As soon as I caught the Ferrari then he had DRS, so I couldn't get him the first lap, so I was just a little bit like out of rhythm in a way, to get past and keep up with what Max was doing. And then I caught the wet patch in Turn 2, where the guys crashed, so I went backwards again.

Yeah, it’s just not been my weekend in a way, and just made some mistakes here and there, but still fought well and I didn't think I would get George, to be honest, but the DRS was pretty significant. So I managed to get him into Turn 1 from a long way back and yeah, finished with another double podium from McLaren, which is great. But obviously a big congrats to Oscar and Max. I feel like Max has stolen Oscar’s limelight a little bit, but both deserved it today.

Interviewer: As you say it's a double podium for McLaren but are you feeling a little bit frustrated at the moment?

Lando: It depends what with. With myself, I don't think I've ever been so frustrated. Yeah, but with the team, less than ever, you know? The team have done an amazing job. We should've... I don't know, it's always a ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’, and I'll probably [be] down for a bit, it's... you know?

But I should have been on pole today. I should have at least had a good chance to go for it yesterday against Max, but I just made too many mistakes which have just cost me. Cost me positions today, cost me positions for tomorrow. Now I have to start P10 when we have a good enough car to finish in the top three easily.

So I've just made my life tough, the team's life tough, when it should be the complete opposite and we should be going from the front. But I guess everyone has those weekends.  This is the weekend for me. It's just a shame I'm doing it when the car’s as quick as it is. So that's what makes it more frustrating.

 Interviewer: What is it about the car that is proving so tricky for you?

Lando: Nothing. Just a lack of talent. 

 Interviewer: Alright, let's throw it forward to tomorrow's grand prix, Lando. You're starting, as you say, P10. What can you do from there?

Lando: I hope a lot (smiles). I just need to stay out of carnage. You know, the first couple of corners are pretty sketchy. Depending on what tyres we start on, and so on, but the main thing is staying out of harm's way the first few laps. We have the pace, I think we have reasonable degradation, maybe not the best, compared to the Red Bulls, but reasonable degradation.

So yeah, we want to score good points. I think we have pace to be on the podium but whether we can do it or not from P10 is going to be the question. So, it's a long race, we don't know what rules and stuff Pirelli are going to make us do with the tyres and things like that yet, but we'll find out soon.

[paperboy-pb]

Now that the prologue is done, I can't thank the fans of this series enough.

No, we haven't hit any particular follower milestone. The story has just begun. And most of you haven't given me any sort of financial support to help me out, either. (And that's alright! I haven't asked, lol.)

I'm thanking you for just being apart of the audience.

I started PB in a little blue notebook during the summer of 2015. It was originally meant for my eyes only. And a big part of the reason why was that, when I googled things like "Special Ed makes me feel bad," there wouldn't be much of anything coming up. There were Quora forums! A couple of YouTube videos. Articles here and there.

But it wasn't a lot. Not enough to help me out for long. And it only hammered the idea further into my head that I was alone in what I endured. As I got older, grew up, and away from the program and people who took my disabled youth, I constantly felt this urge to talk about it. What SpEd had put me through. What I'd lost. What I'd seen & heard. The things I did and didn't learn. Even though I was never a very open kid, let alone teenager.

I hated that no one was talking about it. And how nobody knew what happened to kids like me behind closed doors. At 13 and 14, almost none of the new friends I made had ever heard a life story like mine. And I've always found that wild: I had a LOT of friends! (Still do!)

So I kept drawing it out. Kept working on the story in notebooks, sketchbooks, my friends' DMs, and anywhere else words could go. Sometimes, my family would catch glimpses of the concept art. Sad sketches of Matthew crying, freaky drafts of Monster, or tense moments between what would become Class 7-C.

And one of my parents would be like, "Why is your art so depressing?" They'd roll their eyes. And they'd add on, "People's parents aren't gonna like it!"

No, I never told them what the story was about. I never even told them it was a children's media (because it kinda isn't! I'd personally put PB as 13+?) These were judgments made with just one glance at computer papers covered in pencil strokes; sketchy and shapey little kids who didn't look like they were having fun.

I knew they were wrong. But the audacity still pissed me off. There aren't many times where it's appropriate to boss somebody else around in how to tell their story, you know? Not only that, but I also worried about not having an audience back then. Sure, all my friends loved my work. But at the time, I was the only one who'd really experienced anything "Special Education" in life. Thus, these were General Ed kids watching it unfold. Able-bodied eyes and (as far as I knew back then) neurotypical minds, watching and learning from whatever I made.

And I liked that. But that wasn't the only group I wanted to be seen by. I wanted disabled people, especially youth in their teens and twenties, to see it. That's my primary audience. And shit like that made me wonder if I'd ever find it. Had me second-guessing myself a little, you know?

But I shook it off. It's like that thing teachers always say in class. "If you're confused or have a question, ask: whatever it is, you probably aren't the only one thinking it!"

And I searched for stuff like PAPERBOY, hadn't I? Yeah. I had. So by that logic, other people definitely would be, too.

So I stuck to my guns, and... check it! Y'all showed up!

One thing I've noticed ever since publishing part 1 is that the PB Nation is pretty damn devoted. You guys have been patient, passionate, silly, and unapologetically yourselves since the get-go. And the response to every old promotional comic or post I've made has been OVERWHELMINGLY positive and curious. I've gotten fucking fanart, man! More than once! I've had the honor of meeting a few of you in person already! And for the ones who haven't caught me out with my friends in New York, believe me, I REMEMBER who comments what.

By the way, you guys should spam my comments more. Fuckin' love that shit. SPEAK TO ME, lmao. Even if it's like, the most irrelevant PB question ever. Keyboard smash in my comment sections. Send me disability reels you like. Tell me what you wanna see from the story. Whatever, as long as it doesn't bleed into parasocial territory!

I've gotta have one of the best audiences out there. So thank you! For just... being around. Here's to hoping y'all enjoy the journey we're aboutta go on.

[absentmindedadmirer]

Welcome to Fallin' Night Star~

Hey, hey, Stargazers...

Do you ever feel like you can never really rant about your hyperfixations and fandoms to other people-?

Or that you have nobody to listen to you nor can you find people who have the same interests as you because it's extremely niche-? Did those hit too close to home-? Or did it just fly outside the ballpark?

Well, I know quite a few people like that. Also, I am one. That's why I opened up Fallin' Night Star. A place for people in fandoms to share their interests and find new interests... and to find the literal sweetest people on Earth who are very supportive and entertaining as hell. I cannot iterate more than enough how everyone there is so nice and sweet. Whether it's about going batshit insane over our interests and playing goofy silly games with each other... there will be neverending support from everyone. It's really nice to see. But enough of this sappy shit-! Hah-!

What's this...? An interest check-?

The club is opening up a feature soon called "Workaholic's Wonderland". Don't let the name scare ya, I just really like alliteration~ For those people who always wanted to be involved in creative fanprojects such as fandubs, fanzines, fangames etc., but found it hard to collaborate in them... we want to help people have fun engaging in such projects without the need for a high qualification. Working together, we want to be able to let everyone have the opportunity to be able to show off their talents!! The workshop is newly established and the point is to get people who are interested to help and have fun while we can see how far we can grow it. If you're interested in joining to toss ideas of projects and ideas of stuff that you'd love to collab with people to make a reality then I would encourage you to join and grab the role to enter~ Again, no qualifications needed and it's non-profit (for now), just people sharing and working together. ===

Additionally, we held casual voiceacting sessions where we jokingly voiced otomes (and other games). Currently, it's on hold, but if enough people are interested and pick up a voiceacting role (again, no qualifications needed!! Everybody's voice is good just as it is <3), it will return. === So long... so long... people are wondering when I will stop talking. But finally, I plan on releasing a lot of stuff related to my writing. Mostly on AO3 and Tumblr. Life hit me like a baseball bat but I'm getting back into doing stuff at a regular pace. (I say...) To see what I have written so far, just check out Sketchie's Fandom Archives-!

And if ya want to know about my future works...

Well, just check out what I'm into, I'll do something for it eventually~ And requests are always open for anyone who wants anything. That's how I hold myself accountable.

(If you're don't feel like looking at my pinned post for everything, just at all the fandoms in this post bye)

Or just ask me directly~ I'll usually answer anyone's questions if they ask. @ absentminded_admirer on discord, here (obviously), insta, and ao3

===

Anyways, here's your invite to Fallin' Night Star. Join if ya want~

There's nothing more for a clown to say other than-- Sayonara~

[chipped-chimera]

Thought I'd do a little bit of a personal update! I'm doing the reorganising thing which is still slow but really motivating - enough that I'm having good energy days where I'm getting more done! I should be able to start work on the new fish tank soon!

More commentary/thoughts/where I'm going creatively below the cut. (It might be a bit heavy, you've been warned - check tags for more info)

EDIT: Fixed Tumblr borking this, now looks like how this WAS SUPPOSED TO oof

So I'm in the process of redoing my entire office just to fit this fish thank (which has now been leak tested so we're good to go), as well as reorganising based on tips I picked up from this book for people with ADHD that I've found massively helpful. Honestly it's been great for helping me just THROW SHIT OUT because while I can have my moments of ruthless detachment and clear inventory my family is very much a 'use/reuse/reappropriate' kind of deal, which while great often gives me hesitation throwing stuff out primarily because of that pressure - especially when I'm stuck living with them. Now I know it's necessary to get everything to a state where it will STAY organised.

It's also let me take inventory of the stupid amount of traditional media art supplies which have been sitting there since high school in near pristine unused condition (we are talking a LOT of very useable acrylic paints here) and get them all organised. After chatting with my psychologist yesterday I've bought more/replacements for things I had to throw out (literally dry as a bone markers) as she literally said she 'very much encouraged' my idea of starting a visual art diary to help process emotions and stuff.

I know over the years my inspiration to do stuff has withered, usually because it's been hammered by bad moods (caused primarily by external forces I could not control on top of my already battered neurology). I know now because of shit in my past that has been largely unresolved, art has never been an outlet for emotions for me because I'm so afraid of taking up space. Despite emotions being a powerful source for art, I rarely draw on them both because I have spent so much time trying not to feel them or hiding them because unfortunately my history is one of a lot of rejection, right down to a very young age where my caregivers should have been way more on the ball. It's helped me acknowledge my way of expressing love and affection is kind of fucked - when I feel close to someone or like them a lot it has the opposite effect where I instinctively want to pull away from them because I'm scared I'm going to 'ruin it', like my life is tainted and by associating with them I'll drag them down somehow. I know it's silly but it's very hard to get past because it's automatic - that was the only way I was guarenteed to get affection, if I was the most borin, biddable, palatable child in existence who caused no problems, even if it meant enduring physical and emotional pain alone. I inherently find it hard to trust people being genuine about liking me as a person because I'm just waiting for the shoe to drop when they realise I'm too much hassle - which unfortunately was the circumstance my relationship ended around so yeah, that did not fucking help. Basically I go from being really comfortable around someone to masking intensely and yeah that is NOT GOOD. I also legit feel the reason I have alexytheimia is because I had to develop a buffer so early in my life just to survive as far as I have.

I'm hoping art journalling will help me process some of those thoughts and feelings and I still want to try and show them, just to show myself they DO have value, they are a valid part of the human experience and they should be allowed to take up space - I do not need to hide them away or cut pieces of myself out to become more 'palateable' to people. So yeah um, I guess there will be some vent art, I don't know if I'll post only to my art blog or here because it's more sketchy shit and I reserve the art blog for finished pieces now ... either way knowing me it's going to be highly metaphorical and symbolic so I don't know how 'triggering' it could be but either way I'll probably tag the absolute shit out of it just to make sure I don't adversely effect someone (yes I am aware of the irony in me saying that as it's basically me trying to 'not ruin' things again but even putting it out there at all is a big enough step - also tags are just basic decency).

So uh ... That's what I've been up to? Also why I've been kind of shit about WIP Wednesday tagging and responding to other tag games (which I am now once again remembering a bunch of that I STILL have sitting in my motifs cause I still wanna do them ; m ;) I think I tend to get something like reverse SAD this time of year, arguably for the same reasons SAD develops - it gets so damn hot that I have the curtains closed in my office (which has the biggest window in the house) all day to keep the heat out. So arguably I have just made 'tiny dark winter' for about two months because I ain't going outside when it's over 30C (aka the temp tomorrow. And the day after THAT. Fuck I hate summer). Just instead of dark and cold it's dark and sweaty - feeling clammy also being a sensory problem for me so all around BAD TIME until the season changes :/

Outside of all that I'm speculating writing a wlw romance in a western setting because I have had on off cowboy rot since forever and I should probably do something with that already. Currently speculative Native American love interest/secondary protagonist with a background that probably touches on maybe the boarding schools and then reconnection with culture. We've had similar stories with our indigenous population in Australia unfortunately (colonialism is a plague) so I can sort of have some understanding but I probably need to hit the books on that one. For any Americans/Canadians reading this if you know some good books, PLEASE send me your references, I really want to make sure I do this right. I reblogged a post a few days ago about how Native Americans are often dehumanised in westerns and they just become part of the landscape, and I really want to push against that. Also do some contrasting against how oppressive western colonial era culture was by comparison to native culture honestly because I feel that would be a really interesting dynamic. Idk when/if stuff with this project will start happening but we'll see.

If you read this far, thanks! It's pretty validating to know people care this much, since it's hard for me to believe people do care a lot of the time because of all the above bullshit. So just so you know, I love you guys 💖 and you get a bonus cat:

Tiny p.s. living with my parents now is very different from when I was a child, I know the people who caused me hurt are long, long gone. They are not the same people anymore - so I am okay! It's still frustrating but more for the reasons of wishing I had my own (bigger) space to live in and put all my stuff and just 'I am a 30 year old extremely supressed lesbian speed running puberty and this environment is not conducive to exploring that' if anything. While I'm out with my Mum I can't like ... talk about that shit lol. So yeah, frustrating but for entirely different reasons. Just clearing that up.

[iconicanemone]

We, as in myself and the people who seem to be surrounding me, are short selling ourselves for pennies 

This is a post mainly for the younger artists. Those who’s main source of commissions use da points or some other virtual currency. Please reblog and share this so the people who need to read this will see it.

Essay under cut, as well as more in-depth pricing by professionals linked at the bottom of the post.

TL;DR: If you take a half an hour on an art piece, price it $5 minimally. Then price your stuff at around $5 every half hour it takes. No this isn’t overpricing yourself. It’s still underpricing.

Just today as I start writing this, my sister came to me and my mom asking if we could meet up with a stranger who was buying her car, so we can get the check for her. 

I went, haha, you can pay me $20 to do that. But then my mom and sister were like ‘that’s cheap’, so I bumped it to $50, and then $75.

But then my mom turns around and asks for $200, which both her and my sister agreed that was reasonable, as it would leave my sister with over $500 net value (the amount of money you get in the end)

And that hit me. And it, along with professional suggestions that I’ve looked at in the past and absorbed into my subconscious, as well as seeing people go “I can do 200-300 da points for a ref sheet!” Made me stop, spin around, and think.

If we go by my own conversions, 100 da points equals $1. A reference sheet is one fullbody minimum. So you’re basically doing a fullbody for $2-3 bucks, or even 50¢ as I’ve seen some people.

Now, I get it. I ended up surrounded by people who are minors. Those below age 19 who don’t have experience, and who may have a stable household. But, here, let me phrase it this way.

Your clients, the people paying for your art, aren’t just paying for art. They’re paying for your time and experience.

I take 30 minutes per piece of art on average, the numbers taken from the month of August, which has a variety of a sketchy headshot, and a full scene with a background, all colored and shaded, with some as exceptions. As thus, I will be using the $ per half hour phrasing instead of the $ per hour phrasing professionals use. I will also be doing $5 a half hour. While yes, professionals such as the animators who host BamAnimations recommend $15 an hour for teenagers, half of that is $7.50. $5 is a simpler number to do math with.

So for me, the shortest timeframe I took of a Art piece was a fully shaded sketchy headshot at 9 minutes. And the highest was a fully shaded scene, with extra sketchy not colored characters in the background, at 2 hours and 3 minutes. 

As you can see, that is a wide range. You may think that $5 is too much for a 9 minute sketchy headshot, but you should agree that $5 is way too little for a piece that takes 123 minutes. And I am a faster artist, so your time may vary, but anything that takes over 30 minutes should cost more than $5.

If you still believe that the price to half hour I listed is too much, let me also point out the other thing that your client is paying for. Your experience. In this case, I’m not just talking about what you did to learn how to draw. I’m talking about that, in addition to how much time you’ve practiced drawing, as well as what you sacrificed to get to your level of drawing. That could be the cost of the equipment to draw, like a tablet or a drawing program. Or it could be a drawing related injury such as carpal tunnel.

My experience includes this. I started drawing more frequently in 2019, which as of 2022 is over 3 years. That’s the time I’ve spent drawing. I also have used my time watching videos about how to draw, which has increased my quality and time of my art. And while I may not have paid any money to make any of my digital art, I started drawing traditionally, which the sketch books I bought did cut into my budget. And on top of that, when I first dove into digital art in 2020, I made a grave mistake which injured my right arm, rendering it in pain and unusable for months afterwards. That also injured my left arm due to overuse, and I am still feeling the repercussions of that over 2 years later.

Quick tip for people who want to get into digital art. Do NOT use a laptop mousepad to draw. 

As you’ve seen, my experience should qualify me to more than that $5 a half an hour baseline. And even if you are only just now starting to get into drawing, you should keep in mind how much time you spend on a drawing, how much time did you spend learning how to draw? How much money did you spend on your drawing journey? And what other sacrifices did you make to get where you are on your drawing journey? 

The next step would be to figure out how to price things. Canonkiller (link at end of essay) has a good chart on how to price things, though they use the $15 an hour method. I sincerely recommend their document a read, as they go more into pricing, boundaries, and payment options. But I’ll be using their math here. 

Their math starts with the lowest option, a sketchy headshot, and goes to the highest option, a shaded fullbody, and only includes a halfbody/waist up as the other size option. A sketchy headshot is the base price $5. Then lines raises that price by x1.5, which is $7.50. Color raises the price x2, which is $10, and shading raises that to x3, which is $15. Then when the size bumps up to a halfbody, the sketch price goes up to x2 the base price, making it $10, and then the other math follows. This will lead to the shaded halfbody being $30. Fullbody raises the sketch price to x4 the base price, leading the sketchy price $20, and shaded price being $60.

You are probably thinking that this is a lot. And here’s the thing. It is a lot. But here’s the thing. Canonkiller used a $15 base value. Which made the shaded fullbody price to be $180. And that’s just for a shaded fullbody with a simple or transparent background. And Canonkiller said that $180 for a shaded fullbody is still underpaying. 

But perhaps $5 a half hour is a better way of decreasing the time of the pricing? Let’s take the 123 minutes from the art piece that took me longest to do, rounding the number up to 125 for easy math. It ends up to be $25. That seems like a lower number. But the math and timing you have to do to figure that pricing out probably isn’t worth it. And you may take more time than I did. But the thing is people are doing this kind of art or more for $5. At the most. You should stop doing that. Just stop it. Take down your commission prices and look up videos on money and business if you need to. And even if you still think it’s a lot, and that you won’t get any commissions like this, BamAnimations said that it’s better to take fewer commissions for more, instead of more commissions for less. It’s better for your health and your pocketbook.

Here’s the thing. I didn’t write this to babble about math, and shame you for pricing your art at 50 da points. I wrote this for the people who think that their art is worth that little. I wrote this for the people who don’t realize they are underpricing themselves. I wrote this for myself. And I wrote this for you.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go adjust my own prices accordingly. 

Please watch these guys’ videos. Not only for their pricing opinions. But for their quirky and fun videos teaching art at a professional animator level.

Bam Animation: https://youtu.be/ghQNQNzFmT4

And read this guy’s document. It not only shows a way you should price your stuff, but also it explain how minors (under 18) can get paid with actual money, and how you can set boundaries no matter what others may say.

CanonKiller: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cKFMOQiYl8hdLEFzuuQ8nsMV4Gpwd44oVF4PMstwS7k/edit 

If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know. And please share this with people you think that need to read this.

[confoundedluna]

okay I had a busy day but I wanted to get back on it so I once again am trying to draw my until dawn babies I wanna learn to draw i wanna practise and get better and I gotta cling to that motivation Hard

I know I said last post my next go would probably be jess and I did try to draw her first but it was Not working out and I didn't wanna demoralise myself so I tried out my girl Sam and it seemed to go better

so here's the picture I chose as my reference image

and here's what I drew!

again, I know I fucked stuff up, I am not happy with her mouth which you can probably tell with the several lines, but I see Sam there! I think the eyes went better than Ash's did, which i'm happy with because that's at least Some improvement and learning already going on for only drawing these two and some odd doodles/sketches in between

i'm really glad for the process I chose, not just because I think the highlighter and pen combo looks pretty and the sketchy nature of it lets me feel free to mess up a little more, but also finishing up in pen helps me to not dwell as much on my mistakes while i'm still learning. I know my perfectionist self would have gotten stuck in a cycle of erasing and redrawing her mouth if i worked in pencil, and neglecting the thing as a whole which is time I could spend working on the other parts

so yeah. i'm happy with this :)

[mischiefpaw]

hiya!

hey i dont know how many people still follow me but i figured i should give an update on what i’ve been up to through all this radio silence.

TL;DR i was artblocked and still am but i’m making a webcomic! more details below.

as you can probably tell, i fell into a pretty bad art slump over the past couple years. i haven’t been happy with or felt able to finish pieces for a while, which was made worse by losing interest in most fandoms i’ve made art for in the past. it’s not that i don’t like them anymore or will never ever draw from them again (sorry to the people who followed me for warrior cats though i think i’m through with that), my interests have just changed LMAO. While things have improved on the slump front, I’m still kind of artblocked and relearning how to work through it. That’s not gonna go away immediately, but i’m determined to get through it and get back to posting art of things i love!

As for what my interests have shifted to... for the past year i’ve been writing a webcomic called Ad Terra! Ad Terra follows a struggling professional gamer stranded in an apocalyptic world by supernatural forces, and his bitter rival. While both seek to find their former teammates, old grudges and clashing personalities make things much, much harder than they have to be in this tragicomedy about grief, the glory days, and zombies. 

If that sounds like something you want to know more about, shoot me an ask! I have so so so much to talk about when it comes to these characters and while I won’t spoil too much, i’d love to let you guys get to know the setting and characters.

As for progress on the comic itself, I’m currently in the scripting phase. I’m expecting that the first chapter will be posted in late 2023/early 2024-- which seems like a long time, but I’ve got some secret comic-related projects up my sleeve that’ll be worth the wait ;) For right now, you can follow @adterra​ on tumblr for updates when they come. I’m super excited to share the story with you guys when it’s ready!

(quick sketches of our protagonists!)

Onto actually talking about art! I have been drawing, but most of it is unfinished doodles I haven’t felt like posting. As I said before, finished pieces probably aren't gonna turn up for a bit, but I’m going to try and get into the habit of posting more sketches and studies (more as a form of accountability to show myself that i actually have been doing stuff than anything else, but also bc i love seeing other people’s sketchy studies myself!)

thanks for reading love you all mwah happy holidays

[bosskie]

A Neverending Dream of You

Man, I don't know what to do with this anymore, so I guess that it's time to 'pronounce' this a finished piece... This was a challenging piece to do but I tried my best. Gotta practice more to do better.

I started this piece last month and been slowly working on this. I have been feeling quite awful this week but I still wanted to finish piece or at least improve this that I can let this be since I just feel like I'm not skilled enough to finish this piece... Man, I just don't feel like I can actually draw well.

But yeah, this piece is just about me wishing to be with Molluck... I just want this Gluk so badly every single day... I don't really know what else to say here since yeah, like I have said many times before, it's not unusual for me to feel like I should just end everything... I just feel so bad about myself. But I'm still trying, even I don't really feel like it... I'm sorry.

I still love to create and posting my stuff is a part of it, but I don't really feel like my stuff is worth seeing... I just don't know what to do... It's still nice if you like my stuff but I just personally have barely anything positive to say about my content... Even I spent many hours on this piece too, I feel like it looks lazily done and sketchy, has flaws here and there... I just constantly feel like I should work harder and harder... It's so tiring...

I wish that I could have written more positive stuff here but I cannot pretend happy when I'm not. I don't even know if it's a positive thing that I love Molluck but I still love this Gluk so much... Oh, and yeah, I really love Molluck's body too... I might draw him so often on the beach since it's kinda a natural place him to be naked... Nudity is natural for me; nudity ain't even censored on TV in Finland due to this attitude we have here. But yes, Molluck still has the hottest body if you ask me...

[secretgamergirl]

My weird relationship with profile pictures

So I saw this making the rounds the other day, and felt maybe just a little targeted because... mine’s kinda similar.

I have kind of a complicated relationship with this sort of thing. I started this blog uh... pushing a decade ago, at a time I otherwise WAS NOT out as trans to literally anyone, and surrounded by people I (unfortunately quite correctly) guessed would have a huge problem with it when I did come out. So here, I had absolutely no identifying info of any kind, profile pic included, and was just hunting information on transitioning resources. My oldest posts explaining this have been long since nuked too since, well, I’ve gotten more paranoid over the years.

When I started up a Twitter account back in the day, more or less exclusively to link articles on here to a hopefully wider audience, same deal. Back then if you didn’t set a profile picture you just got this egg on a random colored background. Pretty sure I ended up with a violet background and you know, the egg wasn’t bad iconography for my purposes. And people absolutely HATED this because turns out at the time people would mass-register burner accounts and make no effort so you’d have a stalker and just get this whole pile of angry eggs in your feed, then maybe me saying something friendly and weirding you out.

So people were pressuring me to switch over to literally just anything, which I was tempted to consider, but while I was pondering that, there was this other pseudonymous-for-safety trans girl I knew who was almost as paranoid as I was, but had a real avatar. This one funny picture of a dog... and uh, she got doxed based on that alone. It was something like she ran a server for something else, that dog image was saved to that machine somewhere, some shot in the dark stalker-y tied it to a profile on that site, and from there unraveled that thread enough to get her legal name, I think her address even, and started really raining serious hell down on her. So that scared me the hell out of making a change.

I did since loosen that policy up a little, and started using profile pictures over there if anyone was sufficiently bothered by the one I had to just post something else and demand I swap it in. Did that a couple times, then had the added problem of people who’d provided earlier ones being upset I was using something else. Sorry about that by the way.

Anyway, this is still kinda the way I live my life. I don’t show any of myself if I can help it. I can’t recall ever uploading photos of myself anywhere, nor videos. Beyond letting a few vague facts slip, like, you know, being some absolutely gigantic trans woman, I don’t let personal details out, and I don’t use profile pictures anywhere, unless someone actively suggests one. And I still get constantly stalked and harassed even with that.

Somewhere along the line people got frustrated by the lack of info on me, made a bunch up, started circulating that, and like, going so far as to “issue corrections” to stuff like game credits sites that correctly had the name I’ve used professionally for as far back as anyone’s going to want to look up, convincing them to change it to whatever random BS they pull off some sketchy website or other, and while that’s actually a serious problem for me when I’m looking for work and have to explain to people looking up previous projects why they find some other person’s name in place of mine, I also get rather unfortunately frequent sneak peeks of the sort of violent stalker crap I’d be dealing with if they had real leads. Photos taken of random houses, anonymous messages that are all like “I know you’re really Albert Zuckerman” or whatever with some rando’s photo embedded, “found you” with arrows drawn pointing at random people in group photos, crap like that. It’s always kind of relieving to confirm they’ve all tricked each other so thoroughly, but the version of that I’d get if there were real things to go on I’d really prefer to keep living without.

So, you’re stuck with the sleepy triangle. At least until someone goes out trophy hunting fascists with enough gusto the rest go into hiding, or someone hooks me up with some kinda like private high security mansion with on-site security or something. Sorry if you don’t like seeing it?