#lets see if i ever write more lol
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WIP wednesday
thank you for the tag @lilas!
tagging @myreia @roguelioness @galadrieljones @lilbittymonster @bearlytolerant @birues and anyone else who wants to, wip wednesday or whenever
It was a joke when I said I'd write estimeric smut. or was it?
anyway (not actual smut yet)
He sighs, and enters his bedroom, halfway across and into the washing chamber before he notices. The curtain is stuck in the window, as if someone opened and closed it in haste against the wind. There’s melted snow on floor, lost to the roaring heat of the fire. “Estinien.” The man moves from the chair his slouching in, uncrossing his arms, his silver hair sliding across his shoulders. “Aymeric.”
#wip wednesday#ffxiv#I said I wouldn't write it unless I got an idea#but I did?#lets see if i ever write more lol
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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.
to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!
i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.
also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.
they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.
they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.
i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.
#eve text#elmike#stranger things#byler#only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol#tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS#god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear#i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable#i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts#elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about#even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike#i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up#the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me#and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me#and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin#also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK#so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows#i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk#tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO#stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest#anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul#i need frivolity#ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show
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Bluepoch gave us the gift of barely-subtext tragic sapphic-centric media do NOT throw that away.
Context regarding PJSK and Undertale under cut.
Project Sekai cast is dominated by female characters but mlm is more popular, meanwhile Undertale has canon wlw rep and oh my god they’re at the bottom. I have nothing against these fandoms or media (I’m literally currently/was in them) but yeah. I just HOPE r99 doesn’t end up in a similar state.
#mochagaming#if r99 ever gets even more popular and people somehow manage to out-yaoi the yuri i may actually buy a gun#‘write more yuri then’ I AM <3 AND LETS KEEP WRITING YURI R99 NATION#this is an irrational fear btw#especially since the fandoms i previously in kept fixating on the men in women-centric media#which is not bad#good for them#but its alienating for me LOL#thankfully rn r99 fandom is still diligent woman appreciators so thanks guys#keep it up#I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MEN OR MLM#I JUST REALLY NEED THAT SAPPHIC SPOTLIGHT#LET THIS DESPERATE LESBIAN DREAM THAT HER FAV GAME STAYS YURIFUL#(because fandom activity genuinely affects the game itself so…)#reverse 1999#I am not trying to discourage any form of fandom content#But if I see someone complain about ‘lack of men’ in this game I… I genuinely dont know??? what to say???#we dont even have enough lesbian rep. it is always cast aside.#it should be prioritized (by bluepoch) i think#like to charge reblog to cast
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The whole discourse about the privacy/secrecy/support thing has been sitting with me for a few days (I mean other than it always does to a certain degree) thanks to all the excellent discussion happening and I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said a million times before, but I think what we're seeing and what we're going to learn (e.g. from TTPD) is that it wasn't just the support issue, but how it was shown/handled.
We've all gone out of our way to show that introversion =/= lack of support. Someone can be shy, reserved, etc. and still show up for their partner, whether in public or at home. To chalk any of the differences up to the clash between introversion and extroversion is unfair to folks who count themselves among either tbh.
@thisisctrying said something the other day that hit the nail on the head about how if that support had been offered in private, there very well may not have been a Joever to begin with, or at least not at this point in time. (Sorry for loosely paraphrasing, and for namedropping you! Long time listener, first time poster.)
If this were a case where the "shy" partner said, "I am really uncomfortable with the spotlight personally and do not want to court it, but I will support you in your ambitions and offer you whatever you need to make them happen and make the glare bearable," I suspect that would have gone a long way to making Taylor feel seen and comfortable in pursuing her goals in the way that she now has. Again, that might have been more akin to the balance that seemed to have been struck around 2019 from what we can see, but even speaking in a general sense, there are lots of couples out there, celebrity or not, that have similar approaches where there are highly driven people and busy careers involved.
(A famous example being Dolly Parton's marriage. Tbh I know next to nothing about her and Carl, but she's always heralded as an example in this regard, because her husband is famously uncomfortable with the spotlight and hasn't accompanied her to public events in decades, but she's said that she never minded that because that was always work to her, and what was important was that he supported her in pursuing all her career goals and basically ensured she had a place to call home to return to at the end of the day.)
We're kind of in a brave new world with her current relationship because it felt like, at least at the start, we were maybe watching her figure out her boundaries in real time as to what she was comfortable with or not and adjust accordingly. Like so many have said, I fully believe the extreme privacy thing was initially driven by herself and her experiences in 2016, and she needed that quiet time to recover from all of the things and figure out how to exist in the world again.
Stating the obvious, it seemed like eventually privacy was equated with secrecy, turning the relationship and the celebrity into the elephant in the room and something to never be spoken of to the outside world. People are free to choose whatever works best for themselves and their relationships, and for some the separate public lives might work, but the “kept me like a secret but I kept you like an oath” theme is all over her work and it’s clear that it’s a sore spot for her, because she’s been made to feel shame just for the life she leads so many times in the past.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s pretty obvious something Not Great was happening behind the scenes, which didn’t just amount to “she wanted to be a public celebrity and he wanted to be a private hermit.” (Also, in case anyone forgot, this is a person who also chose a public-facing career who also has to engage in press for it, but I digress.) As her career reached new heights post-folklore, if she had the support at home to do all the things without judgment and with encouragement, and in turn offer the same support to her partner, she may have very well lived just fine with that, not unlike Dolly Parton’s case.
By reading between the lines in all the press since, as well as comments on tour and general ~vibes~ with TTPD teasers, it seems like one of the issues was that that was likely not the case. There was all the stuff that we saw — the reticence to acknowledge each other in the media (particularly on one side), the lack of public support even at events at which they were both in attendance for their respective jobs, the great lengths they went to not to be photographed together at events they attended yet no problem taking pictures with other friends and coworkers, the jobs that separated them, the withdrawing from the public even for work accomplishments, etc. Which could all be manageable if a couple chooses to do so together and are not inherently a sign of trouble in themselves.
But what we’re seeing now I think is a reflection of the things we weren’t seeing then, and it seems to indicate some very deep hurt. (I know, call me Captain Obvious.) And like so many have been saying, it feels likely that that part of that hurt is rooted in that very lack of private support where a person would expect it from their partner. Obviously as a Taylor fan blog I’m going to be more inclined to understand her side of a story, but tbh, it’s also because… this is sooooooo common, and something I’ve experienced in my friend group. (@taylortruther is right when she says most breakups are the same one way or another lol.)
One partner is resentful of the other’s success, or resentful that the other’s priorities begin to evolve as new experiences unlock new goals, or feels the other’s ambitions are not worthy of pursuit, and coupled with perhaps their own struggles in the same domain, it’s easy to see where that can chip away at the other partner’s morale and faith in the relationship. I know I’m just speculating here, but I also don’t think it’s totally unfounded. (Again, because a) I’m picking up what she’s putting down and b) it happens to sooooooo many women even among us dull normals.)
With all the pointed mentions about how much Taylor feels supported in her current relationship and how she in turn loves to offer the same show of support to not only her partner but other loved ones, how she’s stepped out more in the last year to a whole host of events, how she’s mentioned feeling like she locked herself away for years and she’s just proud of her partner and happy she can show up for him even if the chaos around it is unsettling, it paints a picture of what perhaps was happening before last year.
To feel like you’re all alone in carrying the weight of the relationship (or burden of it), of twisting yourself into knots to accommodate the other person’s boundaries (or insecurities) but not feeling reciprocity for your own has to be so painful. (The idea that it may have been even darker and to have a partner not only be unreceptive to your own needs but even perhaps resentful/dismissive/belittling of them is even more painful to think of. I guess we’ll find out when TTPD comes out if that was the case, too.)
At a certain point, that lack of acknowledgement will force your hand to be able to reclaim yourself. And it feels like the further removed Taylor in particular is from it, the more she moves from being sad about the life she felt she gave up by leaving, to angry at the life she felt she was giving up by staying. Especially being in a relationship now where it seems like everything comes much easier, where she can be open about the person she’s with and show up for them, all the stuff that seemed as challenging as climbing Mount Everest in her past is nothing more than a molehill at best in her current life.
TL;DR: I don’t think it’s privacy that inherently spells doom for a celebrity relationship like this; it’s the mutual support and respect that does. If Taylor had felt that in the later years of her previous relationship, I think we could be seeing a different, though not necessarily unfulfilled, person right now in 2024, who’d be happy on tour but whose personal life would look a little different. But it seems like by losing that support she lost parts of herself, and we’ve seen her reclaim that in spades in the last year, and perhaps to degrees she didn’t even realize she could from before all the Bad Stuff started happening in her young adulthood.
I know this was extremely long-winded and unnecessary, especially about total strangers we only know through scraps fed through the media, but I just always bristle at this idea that issues like these boil down to “personality differences,” as though one person wants to live in a city and the other on a remote island, or some shit like that. The whole support (and gender tbh) issue is one that’s just very close to my heart because again, I have seen it play out with so many of my friends in long term relationships and marriages and I just think people in relationships (and women in particular in some circles) deserve better than to feel like they’re being, well, tolerated.
#thisisctrying and taylortruther sorry for tagging you two!#can remove if needed!#but you guys made me think a lot#this was inspired by a conversation i had with a friend the other day#where she relayed an argument she had with her partner#who basically felt slighted that he wasn’t getting acknowledgement for all the housework he does — which is. just. the dishes#and she was like ‘wow congrats you’ve done the dishes — i do every other fucking thing to keep this household afloat in ways you see#and don’t see and i never ask for praise because it’s just stuff that needs to get done because that’s how you support your family’#and it just reminded me that some partners (and a certain kind of man in particular) just… think their struggles take precedence#when their partners drown in them everyday but keep things afloat out of necessity and are never recognized or supported for it#(my friends have shitty husbands/boyfriends can you tell lol)#long post#again the way i just feel like i know the vibes of ttpd in my bones are 😵💫#i feel like i have a lot more thoughts but I’m trying to be more gracious and less parasocial so#also just want to again defend the introverts of the world by reiterating that being introverted does not mean unsupportive#being a shitty partner does though!#writing letters addressed to the fire#it’s also just like… i feel like if Taylor had had even a modicum of the support in private and even public she needed#she’d probably still be with you know who and wouldn’t have considered leaving let alone doing it#because it would have felt like enough and like it was what was needed for both of them#whereas we’re seeing a completely new side of her open up now because this is the first time she’s ever had that support from a partner#in her adult life at least#and it’s like it’s opening up things she didn’t know she needed or wanted
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An 0309 drabble for an anon ask I got a bit ago :) Thank you for being patient, I really enjoyed writing this!! It's actually a little moment I've wanted to write since I started Milgram fic, but never got around to it. (I mention his injured eye, but don't actually describe anything)
“Stop moving around so much.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“I mean it. You’ll make things worse.”
Mikoto watched as the intensity in Fuuta’s gaze flickered between fire and fear.
He had a doctor’s kit laid out on his lap. Recently, Shidou had his hands full with Mahiru’s treatments and having intense conversations with Haruka, so Mikoto wanted to give him a break. With none of the injuries actually healing as they should, the prisoners were caught in an endless loop of changing bandages and checking for complications.
Shidou was grateful for the help. Many of the others tolerated Fuuta in the same way they spent only the necessary time around Mikoto. They smiled and placated him, acting like he’d gone mad all of the sudden. Whatever was making the others avoid the two of them, it drew the pair together. Mikoto was finding he enjoyed Fuuta’s company. Something about him was rather… charming.
“Me? You’re the asshole that will make things worse. You’re no doctor! Fuck you.”
Eh, maybe he had gone mad.
He took comfort, at least, in the knowledge that Fuuta was growing more comfortable with him. He sure had a special way of showing it, but Mikoto didn’t brag about being a people-person for nothing – he picked up on the way Fuuta sought him out during the day, pretending to be involved in his own activities. The way he struck up a conversation, then acted as if it had been Mikoto’s idea to come over and bother him.
Therefore it was exciting, though not surprising, when Fuuta allowed Mikoto to help treat his injuries. They had only done it a few times, but today brought a whole new challenge.
“I’m not performing surgery or anything. Shidou said it just needs some basic disinfecting.” He flashed his usual grin. “I have a steady hand – I’m a photographer, you know.”
Aside from Shidou, Fuuta hadn’t allowed a single person to look under his eyepatch.
He remained unamused by Mikoto’s smile. For better or worse, he could always tell when it was forced. “It’s not like I have any proof of that. You could be awful at it, for all I know.”
“First chance I get, I’ll request a camera and prove it. Want me to take a picture of you first?”
“If you haven’t already messed up my face…” Fuuta’s focus was glued to the hand carefully reaching towards him.
Mikoto pouted his lips. “Shidou trusted me enough with this. And you must have, because you agreed earlier. So If it’s not about me… You’re not scared, are you?”
There were some things that Fuuta didn’t stop to see through. He sputtered in surprise. “Hell no!” He lifted his chin, finally taking his attention off Mikoto’s hands. He stared defiantly. “I can take it.”
Mikoto felt a bit guilty for resorting to foul play. But not that guilty. “Good. Now hold still...”
He got right to it. One hand held ginger hair out of the way, while the other pinched the corner of the eyepatch. Fuuta’s good eye darted nervously around the room, avoiding the other's close-leaning face. Mikoto peeled it away swiftly, gently
As a horror movie buff, the injury didn’t faze him in the slightest. As someone who’d grown close to Fuuta recently, he felt a wave of anguish at the sight.
Fuuta squirmed. “It’s nasty, isn’t it…”
Mikoto reached down for some supplies. He considered mustering up a smile and saying there was no need to worry so much, but it would have been pointless. Times like these, it was kind of a relief when someone else could see right through him for a change.
“It looks like it hurts.”
“Tch, I don’t need any pity from you.”
“I was going to say, you hide it well. You’re tougher than the warden gives you credit for.”
His cheeks flushed red. “I – I don’t need any flattery from you either!”
“Don’t need anything from anybody, huh?”
Before he could come up with a retort, he hissed through his teeth in pain.
“Ah, sorry.” Mikoto immediately retracted his hand from where it had been dabbing alcohol onto the injury.
Steeling his expression, he muttered, “it’s fine.”
Mikoto tried again. He made sure to move with even more steadiness, his face drawn up in concentration. He saw Fuuta’s features flinch when he touched him, but he stayed still. The two were silent, now, as Mikoto worked. Leaning his face so close made the short task feel much longer. The reddening in his cheeks didn't subside.
He expected Fuuta to snatch the fresh eyepatch away the moment he unwrapped it – he was shocked that Fuuta let him adjust it into place without a word.
“Alright. You’re all set.” He started packing up the kit.
“Listen, don’t tell the others. About my eye.”
Mikoto squinted. He gestured to the right side of his face. “I hate to break it to you, but the big patch kinda gives you away.”
“You idiot! I just mean, don’t tell them what it looks like.” He pulled his hood down over his hair. “I don’t need everyone trying to steal a look at it like I’m some sort of freakshow.”
“Hey, of course.” Mikoto gave him a smile, the kind they both knew was genuine. “I’ve got you.”
Fuuta nodded. He turned his face away, his fingers lingering over where Mikoto’s had just been. “... And… thanks.”
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#mikoto kayano#0309#thank you so much for the request woo!!!#lmao it leans more 'serious intimate' than 'sappy romantic' - i hope thats okay#and yeah! i was actually planning to have a chapter in thermoregulation where yuno treated his eye#but every way i envisioned it wouldnt fit right with the tone of the whole thing#so ive been considering other characters and mikoto works So Well -- i was really glad to finally sit and write it out with him!!#its just... having someone as paranoid and ashamed as fuuta actually letting someone close enough to see/touch his most vulnerable injury..#it Gets me man 😭😭😭#and mikoto is also showing a very open side of himself - he has someone who trusts him despite everything thats going on with him/john#someone he doesnt need to preform for -- someone who truly trusts him#;--;#im torn between picturing the prisoners staying away from mikoto t2 or him self isolating while they all still really like hanging out#i went with the first option here but it changes depending on the fic LOL#anyway i hope you enjoyed!!!!#the two start out sitting really far apart and awkward but by the end of t2 with mikoto treating him regularly they start sitting like that#meme where the girl is putting on the others makeup LOL#drabbles#what if i keep procrastinating on school writing and i just write milgram fic forever and ever huh
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cw: reader is mentioned wearing a dress and corset, mentions of a butt plug, pet play? kinda
very specific thought I have sometimes when I online shop: deku likes to buy your clothes for you. not in a weird, controlling way really—he just has certain….visions of you in the things he sees. and he’s a little obsessive on his worse day, and he knows he won’t ever get the image of you in those pants if he doesn’t buy them for you immediately.
he’s a little bit of an idiot though, is scammed damn near every week because instagram wont stop promoting those websites that sell all might themed undies and those knee highs with his own face plastered all over them. he says it’s worth it though, when the clothing comes and he surprises you with them with the hope of a fashion show.
he sits on the side of the bed, biting at his thumb nail, staring at your moving shadow from under the en-suite bathroom door. he brought you a baby blue dress with fluffy white buttons up the chest, a matching corset that he’s waiting to tie up, the bunny ears that came with it, and a pair of blue boots with fuzzy ears on top. it’s ridiculous, you told him the moment he showed it to you. I’m not some show pony, you poke at him when you take the clothes in hand. You’re just a perv, you mutter as you close the bathroom door behind you, ready to try it all on.
And you feel so stupid when you come out, all fuzzy and blue, ready to ask if you should hop over to him. But Izuku looks damn near in awe, eyes rounded and his hands in the air, reaching out for you, quietly telling you to turn around for him. You don’t expect for him to rush over to you, to hook his chin over your shoulder, to whisper about how pretty you are, for his warm and large hands to tie the corset so gently, that your breath stutters from his closeness.
“You like it?” You ask him, looking at him from under your lashes, watch how his big emerald eyes damn near sparkle as he takes you all in. Izuku hesitates before he answers with a nod, guilty eyes fluttering over to another unopened box you hadn’t seen by the door.
“I think the whole outfit will be complete with one last finishing touch.” He murmurs, doesn’t let your turn in his hold, grabs you tight against him as he hides his warmed cheeks in your neck.
“Which is?” You hum, swaying a little, letting the high skirt of the dress tug up even higher against the very obvious bulge resting at the curve of your ass. Izuku pauses for a moment, before he whispers into your skin,
“A bunny tail butt plug. Just for the aesthetic.” He tacks the last part on quickly, seals it with a kiss against your jaw, groans a little when you gasp. You eye the package now, suddenly interested in this little get up, finally understanding his pervy little methods. You smile though, wide, and stroke the hand resting around your stomach, the other carding through Izuku’s thick locks.
“Just for the aesthetic.” You agree and, you swear, you feel his entire body tremble behind you.
#I was thinking about bkg in doing this but instead it’s you terrorizing him lmfao#showing him the outfit and going ‘this would be great with a bunny plug right? :)’#and he’s choking on air for 8 seconds bc that was so random but also the image is making him feel things#but I like pervy Izuku even more#little weird guy that buys you every little thing he wants to see you in#I would absolutely let him bc I have a shopping addiction#just brought these pants I’ve been wanting that have been sold out for months#I damn near cried LOL#I also want this really cute dress shirt top thingy too but I’ve been spending too much money lately lol#I’ll just wait a week to get it like that makes such a difference ahdhdjfhf#also I was laying down and then saw this outfit and was like hey lemme write this#and now it’s almost 2am help#anyway gn and I’ll schedule this for the morning bc nobody ever sees my stuff this late :(#—new treat in the streets! 🍫#deku treats! 🍬#tw: pet play#just to be safe I’ll tag it!!
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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Need to watch my favorite movie again sometime soon
#have a dvd at home but im at college rn also my new laptop doesnt have a player#ill have to see if its streaming anywhere ig#pro im gonna be so stereotypical at postgrad w this no 1 movie choice have to take advantage of it now before i become a cliche#also can whoever is blasting music rn stfu its monday night and everyone in the dorm can hear you#let me write my portuguese essay in peace in the middle of the hall bc we have no lounges#its a school night 😭😭😭#godd if i could be sleeping rn i would be ughhhhh but 400 more words to go#she said due on the 14th but technically past midnight#im assuming before class (which is at noon) we need to email it but i could play the incompetence card and say i thought it was by midnight#on the 14th... but then id have to do more tmrw...#ill try to do a bit more ig#i could never pull an all nighter honestly#not that i would for this but i just stop caring once it hits like midnight. which is bad bc i love procrastinating like 27482828 assgmts#til 7 or 8 pm#but my mom taught me to just give up and go to bed and take the F lol. not that my academic weapon ass wld ever do that but i feel the#temptation. what was i saying#SHUT UP THE MUSIC#if i have to move to the stairwell omg its so coldd there#im such a stairwell warrior (wrote all my essays there last year bc that dorm was also loud)
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sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.
and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.
and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.
#gray.txt#and you know. obviously i personally have my own clear ideas of everything. and i'm content with what i got. this isn't coming from a place#of Well victor is my favorite guy so everything should be about him LOL. i know what he is.#but thats only because i spent like what? 2 years now watching random interviews and analyzing the smallest details within the show that#genuinely meant nothing while they were writing the scripts. and then throwing some random ideas at the wall to see if they stick.#and i just dont think everybody should have to do that LOL. and i think gus's character gets a lot more interesting#when do you do have this clear idea of victor and tyrus in your head and how he interacts with them. but 99% of people dont have that!#nobody fucking knows everything giancarlo and vince ever said about box cutter. nobody knows about the interview where giancarlo referred t#his entire business (meth and restaurant) as his 'family'. and they'd never think of that in those terms#because with the exception of his restaurant workers and mike#it feels like he HATES them LMAO.#tldr all i'm saying is i think we could've benefited from at least one 1 minute long scene of victor and gus exchanging words#where it doesn't end in gus snapping the phone in half out of anger. and also let tyrus speak his mind and have gus agree with him once#also yeah sorry this is all over the place but it is somehow the most coherent i have felt in months so this is as good as its getting sorr#sorry .#also to be clear about my earlier statement that’s a lie my idea of those two is not clear in my head whatsoever i just meant in comparison#to literally the average viewer. and my own personal thoughts about them aren’t even true it’s just opinions and guesses.#and i love a character that i can just say shit about but at the same time i think it’s fun to have idk something in the source material#that you can actually use while thinking and not have to dig around 11 year old reddit AMAs#and that money paragraph sort of came out of order what i meant by saying all that is like#i feel those two could benefit from a clear motivation for why they do all the things they do#and if we have neither personal reasons nor monetary reasons then it just makes them feel like one dimensional henchmen or something#came out of no where* not order you dumb fuck (< me)#also it doesn’t have to be clear in our faces or anything whatever you know what i’m saying . this is too long i can’t keep elaborating
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Hmmm. What if I attempted to write a piece of Trash and posted it anonymously?
#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write#This post was inspired by...something#Namely me getting a Bad Idea for a fic (thanks to someone's else's fic)#And then feeling The Shame because I'm just like that and this would normally be enough to stop me from even attempting it#But then I was just like...what if I tried anyway and just stopped giving a shit?#I'm being super vague here because reasons#But...this bitch is tempted to just write some problematic poorly written trash and shove it out there for all to see#It's not like I have a reputation to worry about I'm a nobody LOL#But at the same time there's a bunch of reasons why I don't think I should bother#Shame is only part of it tbh there's other more valid reasons why#it doesn't help that most of the other stuff I've been working on is stuff I don't think I could ever post anon or not#I'm babbling on about nothing here what the hell?#This is what happens when I kinda-sorta inch my way out of a month-long writing slump and then I start getting Ideas again#Bad Ideas!#Folks if I'm really about to enter my IDGAF Era of writing it's gonna be a baaaaaad time for all involved...#OK that's enough Sam let's stop now#......................................the idea is for an OrangeHook fic#Or whatever people are calling that now
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'this is like wanting your kid to get better by yelling at them and hitting them… you know it won't change/fix anything.'
EXACTLY I have been saying this for so long!! it's not gonna work and it's just gonna make everything worse. it's not a form of activism to just bully people until they conform to what you want; humans are autonomous people capable of choosing good, and like. we could be in the fandom of another band that doesn't even try, whose fans have given up on them and are just there for the music and the drama, but it's like the minute they do try to do something good they have to do activism a certain way and it almost becomes a kind of purity culture and purity culture is famously about control and not good for anyone.
but it's also people trying to be funny in the comments with thinly veiled frustrations that come out as insults about their appearance (which especially gets to me bc like. does body positivity stop if you're famous? or are they just idealised figures/bodies/personalities for us to look at and pretend our bodies don't change over time and we don't like it when they remind us that they actually do?) or their partners or how they express themselves. and it's the aura of entitlement that erodes their right to autonomy and individuality that gets me, not only because the way we get the creative music they make is them expressing that.
anyway i do think we as a fandom can do better and i want to attempt to start a conversation about that rather than trying to call people out in the comments. still thinking of how. there's a lot of people in the fandom who are struggling and exasperated with life and relate to their songs and the pressure has to come out somewhere; it ends up being in comments they feel like won't ever be seen except for by people who agree with them, at people who seem to far away and too big to ever see getting hurt by their comments. at least that's what I assume happens. but yes, they were bullying a cat
I agree with everything...
Was it always like this? It can't be because this is too much, none of the hate was on me and I couldn't take it, I wonder how the guys (or any celebrity) feels, being judged about the tiniest move you do, it's crazy I would totally lose my mind.
That's not how life is... yes I would love to be a fan of good people but if the gf/partner of the artist you're a fan of is bad and their friends are bad what does that make them? Maybe it's on you, maybe YOU should pick better idk 😭.
#like you don't have to like everyone around the guys they're not your friends. You don't know them.#maybe I'm the worst person to agree to this because yes i look up the ''drama'' or whatever and I'm nosy but i never thought for a second-#-that I can tell them what or who to hang out with...#because it's stupid. like here I am from across the planet and I'm gonna fix 5sos and their friend group yes totally not mental...#please 😭😭#Also is it activism if you tell them how they should say it and do it? If they say something it's not enough-#-if they don't they're the worst to walk on this earth. If they apologize for a mistake it's not sincere and won't be accepted.#How will anyone change if you don't even let them?#this fandom can do better but will it ever try? Maybe when it's too late.#too late as in they stop interacting with us ever... and i wouldn't blame them..#call me bald everyday i will write a paragraph about how you ain't shit. you WILL see me in fan wars lmao... ashton is better than me.#are the tags too much? im sorry i feel more comfortable here lol 😭#ask#5sos
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This was my participation piece for the @yuriolympics2023 ‘s first prompt, “Memory.”✌️
The fic covers things that will happen in Season 3 (including a theory that I’m treating as 100% canon tbh, lol) so if you’re not caught up with the manga, please keep that in mind :)
#Mizuha#Hanna#MizuHanna#Yuri Olympics 2023#please make sure to check out this blog to find out how to vote for BestBonnist’s comic!#Fumetsu No Anata E#To Your Eternity#alright here’s a quick nova ramble#I was… VERY surprised to see Hanna had not been included in a fic yet#I mean there aren’t many fics for TYE to begin with but I never expected to be the one who made a tag for her#I’m really happy about it but I feel undeserving lol#anyway I had a lot of fun writing this and I’m excited to see the hit count go up (self-promoting always makes me a bit embarrassed tho lol)#it makes me laugh that Ray made the sweetest most adorable fluffy comic ever ;; 💕 While I went the… non fluffy route#going in I thought it would be the opposite lol but somehow all I had was thunderstorms in my head while writing it#I dont have that much to say about it tbh other than I hope y’all give it a read 🤗#let me know your thoughts too if you have any!#Oh and again make sure to check out the Yuri Olympics blog for more info on how to vote for Ray’s kick ass comic!
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i didn't realize until recently how little fantasy stuff is in my world. sure they're all animals or dragons and they've got magic but there's no actual gods and i didn't even think about including magical artifacts or beings made of magic until a month or so ago. everything could've been so much cooler this whole time lol
#ghost post#well i can fix it now#i only have one idea for a magic being so far and its that one of the gods (not technically gods but thats how people see them) had so much#magic that part of it flaked off and gained sentience#the god's name is october and they founded a prosperous city but they eventually turned into a tyrant#and the people of the city fought them to gain control and won#and october was driven away and left severely weakened#but during the conflict that's when part of their magic broke off and became its own person#it took the same form as october (just smaller) and terrorized the city for a while but then it discovered Free Will(tm)#and now its much happier doing whatever it wants instead of what october wanted#and since its made from shapeshifting magic and its original form was mimicing october after it denounced them it has no set form and just#is whatever it wants to be in the moment#it doesn't even have a name and i'm attached lol#anyway my ideas for magical artifacts are much more boring lol#the dragon who rules over elemental magic made a set of staffs that let anyone use magic (one for each element)#that was a long time ago and none of the dragons are very involved with mortals anymore#but the staffs are still very powerful and floating around the world possibly getting into the wrong hands#:) i'm sure none of the main characters will ever have to deal with that :))))#another one is a set of two books and when you write in one the text appears in the other (like sunset shimmer's book in mlp)#and my last idea is a mask that can absorb people's appearances then if you put it on you look exactly like them down to every detail#truly an imposter amogus moment#anyway if anyone has reached the bottom of these tags tysm for reading and please let me know if you have ideas for more anything
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"yuri lowell is a manly heterosexual"
yuri lowell:
#DCB Comments#keeping this off my tales blog/out of tags bc i know the heteronormatives will come for me LOL#with their heteronormative v3speria dub (yes the dub actually altered/watered down#his relationship with a man probably bc it was too undertoney for them and western media is allergic to that)#not pictured in this post: the way yuri is used in official artwork with other tales characters#and is often surrounded by men. or the comic of him admitting he's popular with guys#also not pictured: the way yuri's alts for gacha games often feature flynn's color coding#and/or both of their color coding mixed into his outfit or accessories#also not pictured: the way yuri's wedding outfit alt is flynn color coded#also not pictured: the way yuri's bouquet in the other picture of his first outfit on this post#is almost identical to flynn's ''joke weapon'' bouquet of roses in the game#also not pictured: the entire gacha game of rays (that's based off respective game canon). i can't explain that to you in just tags#also yes yuri has a metal corset in that fourth picture. i don't... know many men who wear a corset#and the only other one i know in this franchise is in fact also the other main m/m pairing in the franchise#i also don't know many manly straight men who the character designers dress and style like this#i just want you all to know. if you're looking for a non heteronormative man. yuri has you covered#just maybe not so much in the dub just ignore that LOL. also worth mentioning that#japan gets a L O T of extra yuri material thanks to gachas merch and other official side material#everything in this post is official artwork and the last one is from this year#it's merch up for pre-order for t@lfes so yes they're still playing with his hair LOL#and yes if you ever pick up his game i am here to advertise to you not to play the dub (even tho the text will still sometimes be wrong...)#i am in fact writing giant lengthy posts abt it on my tales blog so i will not explain to you here in these tags#but the dub sapped yuri of so much emotion to make him seem cool and edgy and more of a troll#instead of playful fun and silly and just a dork but who is emotional when it matters#woe is them to let yuri's voice shake with heartbreak when he's worried abt a man!#i bet the localizers didn't even realize the entire opening theme song was abt yuri and another man and their relationship#maybe one day i'll make a fun post with all of flynn's color coding slapped all over yuri#also i BET there's someone out there who will see this and be like ''she's reaching''#yeah i guess the official gacha game is reaching then too with how it treats yuri and flynn the same as the franchise's canon het pairs
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“but i fear that they already got all the best parts of me” goes so hard
#if only this song came out like 6 years ago lol#i’m also nearing the end of season 2 of my free! rewatch and gosh haru’s conflict hits closer to home than ever#and idk if i’m just getting more emotional lately but makoto and haru’s fight in ep 11 deadass made me tear up#when will i stop relating to teenagers real or fictional lmao#part of me wishes i was still a teenager just because being a teenager would explain my sense of purposelessness in everything i do#like taking things one day at a time with a blurry future on a road leading to nowhere#but others having high expectations from you and being sad seeing you so lost#but you just don’t want to let go of what you have now#you don’t want to box your passions in what other people want from you#and going back to the lyrics of the song#you feel like there’s not much you can offer anymore ‘cause you were a ‘gifted’ kid and now you’re just an ordinary person#whose gone complacent to the disappointment of everyone who wants to see you succeed but you feel you don’t have it in you#so again you’re just floating through life trying to enjoy the blessings each day brings again with no clear goal#anyway idk what i’m writing#at the same time i’m glad i’m not a teenager anymore ‘cause that shit sucked#but being a grown adult sucks ass too#i know there doesn’t need to be any purpose in life but#i feel like things’ll be easier if i did have a dream#guess i need a best friend to take me to another country or something to inspire me or something#in other words i’m about to watch one of my fave free eps where rin and haru go to australia#anyway i’m rambling#michi yaps
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somewhere in norway, 2016.
scarlett wakes up and finds herself all alone in their temporary safeplace in the middle of nowhere while she and her mother were on the run. everything is completely silent and dark. she calls out to her mother and when she doesn't get an answer, scarlett gets up, and grabs closest weapon to her ( a gun or a knife probably ) and prepares to search the place, until she sees a note left by natasha explaining that she went into town to get more fuel for the generator. “ok, that's not that bad.” scarlett thinks to herself, after all, this was expected to happen. not so soon, perhaps, but expected nonetheless.
she knows the distance and exactly how long it takes from that place to the closest grocery store, so scarlett looks for something to keep her busy while she awaits. she doesn't want to be stuck with her own thoughts because she really doesn't want to think too much about the last few days and how crazy everything has been so she tries the computer left on the table. it still has battery and moonraker is still paused where her mother was probably watching until the generator went out. it's not scarlett's favorite movie, but it’s better than nothing.
the movies starts, and more time passes by, until scarlett realizes that her mother is taking too long to come back. she didn't know exactly when she'd left, but she should definitely be back by now. this is when the redhead starts to worry. scarlett begins to get more and more nervous with each passing minute. when it gets unbearable, she gets up, starts pacing, constantly looking out the window, her ears pricked for noises around—cars, movement—anything.
“something's wrong, something's definitely wrong.” it's all she can think about. at this point she's sure something happened. maybe ross and his goons were able to track them there ? could he arrest both of them this far away from their country ? probably not, but if it’s not him, then what ?
her mind starts racing. she’s thinking of all scenarios and plans that she can came up with…. until she hears something approaching. a car. this one’s different from the one they were using, so scarlett gets ready to fight, to defend herself form whatever’s coming her way. but, to her surprise, it’s her mother who gets out of the car. relief washes over her for a moment, but her guard's still up. the redhead still feels like something is very wrong.
scarlett bombards her mother with questions as soon as she opens the door. "what happened ? where have you been ? why are you all soaked ? are we in danger ?” to these questions she receives only short and to the point answers. natasha tells her to get the new identities and passports and leave everything else behind because they have to get moving. she'll explain everyting with more details on the way.
there's a brief hesitation on scarlett's part. she really thought they could stay at least a day or two there, but they're on the run and it is what it is. she does as she was asked, and they leave the safeplace behind just a few moments after that, heading for budapest.
drabble based on the beginning of black widow
#i mean is this even a drabble ?#idk it started as a headcanon#then it changed to me rambling about this#and in the end this is was on my hands.#this idea has been on my mind for like#2 years ever since i've watched the movie#but i’ve never wrote it down but i did now :3#please forgive any grammar mistakes#it's literally the first time i've#wrote something like this lol#i probably could do something better but#this came from my heart and will have to do#i’m not really used to write stuff like this but#i wanna do more ! i already have an idea#for another one let’s see if i’ll post !#01. ❅ тнaт'ѕ a нιѕтory aвoυт ѕpιderѕ & нawĸѕ ( нeadcanonѕ ) ❅
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