#lets just cycle on every doubt and possible negative outcome

[cascadianights]

The experience: Repeated positive contact and communication

My brain: I think what we need here are constant reminders of why you're inevitably doomed to be only negative forces in each other's lives bc a relationship when you were 20 didn't work out

[universestarot]

NEW YEARS TAROT SPREAD 🌌✨

this reading can tell you:

the main theme of this new year

departing energies from last year

talents you will be expressing this year

future opportunities

upcoming obstacles

how to deal with upcoming obstacles

how to achieve your goals and dreams

🔮 PICK A PILE 🔮

-> trust yourself - choose what you’re drawn to.

disclaimer: PLEASE TAKE WHAT RESONATES, AND LEAVE WHAT DOESN’T. I believe that every card is pulled for a reason, however this is general and my personal interpretation - it may not be fully resonating and accurate for every person.

PILE ONE (left)✨

a main theme of the year for you will be finally getting what you deserve. if you feel you are often treated unfairly in situations or that you give more than you receive, that will not be the case in the upcoming months.

you are leaving past conflicts behind you. five of wands can relate to arguments and fighting, and that may be an energy you are moving on from.

six of wands is about success. the talents you will be expressing will bring a lot of recognition and notice for you. you can accomplish anything if you’re determined enough to go the extra mile.

there will be future opportunities for celebration. four of wands can sometimes indicate a wedding, but it may just be spending more time with family and friends in a very stable, harmonious environment.

this year you may struggle with some kind of disappointment or sadness. maybe you experienced a loss in your career or relationships, or maybe the universe causes you to miss out on an opportunity you wanted because it knows there is something better for you.

to deal with these upcoming challenges, you either need to be careful and thoughtful in your choices and decision making, or embrace love and connections. i got both kinds of energy, so take what resonates.

you may have some self-doubt, or negative thoughts and beliefs that can tend to put you in a hole or trap you. remember to look at both possible outcomes of a situation, not just the worst case scenario. when you want something, don’t allow fear to stop you from going after it. notice the blessings you have around and be grateful for them, because you will attract more.

PILE TWO (middle)✨

knowledge and understanding will be a main theme of the year for you. you may be learning new things, even studying, as well as exploring ways of sharing your own ideas and gifts.

you might find yourself letting go of anything from last year that was blocking your happiness. you could have also had a very narrow view on what you thought you needed to be happy, whereas this year you are moving on from that mindset.

you will be showing your persistence and ability to persevere despite any obstacles that come your way. there is defensive energy in this card, but it shows your strength will be seen.

there are opportunities for you to overcome anything you are dependent on. it may be an addiction, or some kind of toxic behaviour that you will learn to move away from, or it could just be that you will find your freedom and independence. there is potential for you to feel so confident and self assured.

you’re likely moving into a new phase of your life this year or completing a major stage, however you may also be struggling to come to terms with it, or you may be resisting the change. there’s a chance that for some, you’re challenge is actually making the cycle end.

even if you are feeling overwhelmed and tired, you are so close to getting to where you want or need to be. ten of wands is a sign to not give up during difficult times.

in order to achieve your goals and manifest your desires, you will need to believe in yourself and your abilities. you have the power and strength, so never doubt it.

PILE THREE (right)✨

you may be working towards achieving many different things this year. the main theme for you juggling these tasks, and it will likely bring some chaotic, stressful energy but you can also succeed.

last year you may have been quite separated from others, whether that’s feeling introverted, lonely or just taking time to yourself think and reflect. you will likely be moving on from this and reconnecting with others.

you may have already, or will soon have a huge realisation. it not only changes your perspective, but also the way you take action in life and will have a big impact on how you express yourself.

there will likely be future opportunities to revisit familiar places and people. six of cups has energy of reunions, joy and comfort. it could even relate to a childhood home or spending time with family.

this year you may be dealing with feeling like you have missed out. it can suggest an obstacle with money or inspiration, and even feeling lonely.

you can overcome this if you maintain your passion and determination. don’t lose focus on your goals, and have the drive to see them through.

to manifest your goals, be sure that your mindset is in the right place. if you are focusing on the negatives and on lack, you may attract more of it. whereas if you are counting your blessings and having positive, hopeful thoughts - then that is what you will align with and attract more of. son of pentacles is also a sign to be patient and consistent when going after your desires.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! please like & reblog if anything resonated!! :)

personal readings shop.

love to all 🤍

[msmoonfire]

Easy Candlework 101 - All you must know

So you wanna use candles, right?! Keep reading for more juice.❤

Hey guys, today I'm sharing with you the most essential info & rules to achieve effective candlework in your everyday life. I'll try to keep it as concise and simple as possible & hope this post helps you maximize the outcome of your rituals!

Little disclaimer: by *ritual* I mean the sole purpose you're using the candle for. Your commitment and intent IS THE RITUAL. Not necessarily related to a session featuring other magic tools and formal spellwork.

To make sure you're using the best candle for your intent, check each specific correspondence here below. Focus on your goal and consider for how long are you going to use the candle. Practice makes perfect! *PLEASE STAY SAFE WHILE HANDLING CANDLES, FIRES AND MATCHES. BE EXTRA CAREFUL, DON'T LEAVE CANDLES UNATTENDED.*

Thank you loves, xox msmoonfire IG: msmoonfire

1. When to light a candle.

Candles should be used ONLY IN MOMENTS OF NEED, STRUGGLE AND WEAKNESS. Using a candle in moments where it's not necessary is INEFFECTIVE. You can't use them as an "additional" or "supportive" ritual for what is already perfectly fine. Save yourself some money and stop wasting candles for non-honorable purposes. Fire energy is proud and very strong, it doesn't like just to be a useless "accessory" in your space. Do not offend it.

Each time you light a candle, there must be a serious reason why.

2. What candle do I choose?

Size, height, duration, color and scent all depend on your needs.

Maxi votive candles (40h+ duration) - Use if you're stuck in a situation that'll take long weeks or even an entire month to come to an end: you can light it every night for 2-3 hours until you achieve your goals.

Big candles (30h+ duration) - Use if you're stuck in a situation that'll take about 15 days to come to an end: you can light it every night for 2-3 hours until you achieve your goals.

Medium candles (20-26h duration) - Use if you're stuck in a situation that'll take between 1 week and 10 days to come to an end: you can light it every night for 2-3 hours until you achieve your goals.

Mini candles (2-4h duration) - Use if you're invoking the help of fire energy for just a 1-day matter, use tealights and small candles. Let it burn until the flame expires by itself, do not suppress it.

BARE CANDLE: it's the candle alone, you decide what type of candle holder goes underneath. Plates, flat coasters & ashtrays are recommended. Very effective in small sizes. Use if you don't need extra protection and for shortest term rituals (1-2 days). When larger, it can be placed inside a lantern or vase (read VASE C. or LANTERN). Can't be lit in social settings, indoor only. This type of candle supports the presence of other flames.

JAR CANDLE: Jarred candle or jar containing a candle, includes a jar cap. The cap is very useful for suppressing the flame gently; this type is recommended for long term rituals that require you to light up and extinguish the candle every night. Excellent for patience, perseverance, affection and self-help. Can be lit in social settings ALONE, without the interference of other candles.

LANTERN: whatever candle you decide to place inside a lantern. Best effective for welcoming GUIDANCE, spirituality, PEACE, HOPE and INSPIRATION. DON'T USE for anything related to sadness/negativity/confusion, this candle WON'T HELP YOU SOLVE PROBLEMS. Can only be lit in private or familiar settings, both outdoor and indoor. This type of candle supports the presence of other bare flames at a reasonable distance.

VASE CANDLE: candle poured or placed inside a vase holder. Vase candles don't have a cap, they're open on top. Best suitable for pyromancy/flame reading, social relationships, deep spellwork and protection (the taller the vase/the darker the color of the vase, the stronger the protection). By far the most powerful yet sensitive of all, can't be lit in social settings. Indoor only. This type of candle DOES NOT support the presence of other flames.

ROUND/FLOATING CANDLE: has round edges, made to float on water during a relaxing bath or just for atmosphere in a pond. They interact well with water energy, best suitable for emotions, mystery and for any sort of healing ritual. Can be lit in social settings but most effective in private, both indoor and outdoor. This type of candle supports the presence of other "twin" flames.

CLASSIC THIN & TALL CANDLE (candelabra): typical slender candle, excellent for spirituality, enlightment, ambition, special occasions and wealth. Being a tall candle, it strives towards a higher dimention and energy. Can be lit in social settings, indoor only. Supports the presence of other flames. Best effective if colored (non-white).

3. What color should I pick?

White: neutral wishes, positive energy within ourselves, light-hearted thoughts, purity, weather, anything home-related, balance, equality, winter.

Black: deep issues, overcoming fears and disorders, difficult problems of any sort, protection, investigation, inner strength, vision, tension, explicit clarity, negative energy to fight off.

Indigo, Purple: spirituality, beliefs, transformation, rebirth, higher knowledge, research, prayers, emotional connection, meditation, strong neutral energy that needs to be channeled upwards.

Blue: motivation, logic, control, consistency, physical movement, gaps and lacks of any sort, donations, masculine energy, males, assertiveness, addiction, prizes, charts, competitiveness, law.

Lilac, light blue, turquoise, periwinkle etc.: freedom, exploration, travel, serenity, peace of mind, good will, big steps, dreams, mood improvement, healing, positive energy that needs to expand, summer.

Light/Dark grey: must use this color only in case you run out of candles or have a minor neutral doubt. It's the weakest, most vulnerable color of all. Its absolute neutrality can be affected by negativity.

Yellows: your own relationship with nature outdoor, vitality, the arts, music, musical instruments, games, service, help, encouragement, small steps, new life, newborns, babies, spring.

Oranges: boldness, personality, social relationships, respect, parties, breaking control, breaking the rules, breaking patterns, decision making, negative energy from other people that needs to be sent back to the source, breakups.

Browns: formalities, work environment, stability, assets, tasks, stasis, milestones, practicalities, buildings, construction, neutral energy that has to stay fixed and stored inside your own body and possessions, long term memory, autumn.

Greens: environment, plants, progress, accountability, sustainability, food, sports, animals, crafts, strong neutral energy that is essential for our survival, common sense, empathy, inspiration.

Pinks (antique, candy, dust...): Love, collaboration, confessions, talks/chats, sex, behavioral changes, patience, understanding, menstrual cycle, labor, delivery, reception, friendships, courage, gossip, feminine energy, females, intuition.

Reds: passions (hobbies, competitions, dreams, jobs), determination, fury, anger, negative energy that needs to be balanced out, high pressure, stress, beauty, glamour, taboos, speed, war, drama, devastation, destruction, short term memory.

Fuchsia: anything moral, ethic thoughts, human rights, philosophy, heightened sensitivity/intuition, humanitarian propaganda, originality, demonstrations, collectivity, unity, deep conversations, study, culture, open mind.

Gold: = Yellow + all things money-related and sunshine.

Silver: loneliness, cozy environment, cold temper, sacred space, the outer space, modernity, modern style, metals, fish, any measure of time, time, clocks, watches, anything cold/frozen/precious/eternal.

Bronze: similar to brown + the past, hearth, wood, the 4 seasons, strength, warm environment, anything cooked/boiling hot/old/seasoned, spices, resistance, hospitality, endurance, restoration, recycling, maintenance.

[vladtoly]

More

A/N: So i’ve been writing this for a good week and even considered not even posting it. It’s badly written, i didn’t spell check or edit, it’s choppy. But writing it did make me feel better about my current situation. The Halsey song More has hit me hard as I have personally gone through what the song is about. And it's hard to tall about. But Pete’s stand up and his movie Big Time Adolescence have made me happy, laugh; they’ve made me forget what’s wrong, even for a little bit. So i know it’s not well done, but here you are anyways. It's more for me than anyone else. If it touches anyone else, that's just a plus. And if anyone ever needs someone to talk to, please send me a message, i’m here if you need me. 

 Warnings: talk of miscarriage, language (i think), mentions of sex

They told me once nothing grows

When a house ain’t a home

Is it true, honestly

When it’s all a part of me?

I stared at the test in front of me. Negative. Again.

I had been trying for months upon months to make up for what I thought to be my fault. Not even thought to be, I knew it was. I lost her. I was responsible for losing her. It couldn’t be anyone else. She wasn’t apart of anyone else.

She didn’t grow in anyone else’s womb.

Tossing the test into the trash, I leaned on the sink, gripping the countertop until my knuckles turned white. Tears tried to work their way out, but I knew better than to let them fall. No time for crying, I thought, just need to try harder this time. Was  I not wanting her back enough, was my yearning for her life not enough?

“Y/N?”

I slowly looked up to see Pete poking his head in through the door. Just from looking in my eyes, he knew the outcome. Because they showed nothing. Purely empty.

“Come here.” Pushing open the door, his long arms brought me into an embrace. “It’s okay. We can try again; we can try until it happens again. And it will.”

I didn’t even bother to move my tear streaked face from his shirt. “What if it doesn’t? What if I’m just broken?” I softly muttered.

My words were met with a quiet shushing, Pete’s lips pressing to the top of my head. He’d heard it all before. Too many times before.

A couple years of waiting rooms

Finding God and lose him too

Wanna scream but what’s the use?

Pete’s grin was so large it nearly split his face. I had to admit, my smile wasn’t far behind. Seeing the man that I loved painting pink nursery walls nearly had me in tears. Three more months and our baby would be here, and I had no doubt he would be an amazing father.

I was so lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice him set down the paint roller and make his way to where I sat on the windowsill. Pete slid his hands onto my waist, knocking me from my trance. Soft orange light from the sunsetting on the other side of the blinds covered his face. “What’re you thinking about?”

I let my own hands drift to his shoulders, rubbing my fingers there soothingly. “Just how happy I am. I’m just-“Wiping a happy tear from my cheek, I chuckled slightly. “I’m so fucking happy.”

“The feeling’s mutual, beautiful.”

It was a picture-perfect moment. The sound of the city as our soundtrack, holding each other and exchanging small kisses, sweet words- genuine happiness.

How were we to know hours later, at 3:29 am, we would be in a hospital room, our world falling around us?

We fell into a cycle after that night.

Lying awake and I stare at the door

I just can’t take it no more

They told me it’s useless

There’s no hope in store

But somehow I just want you more

It’s always the brief moment of the come down when I forget, when I finally have a moment of relief. I roll onto my side and trace Pete’s tattoos, even exchange a loving glance with him. If I’m lucky, the ignorance lasts minutes. Pete will hold me to his chest, kiss me slowly, his nails grazing the skin of my back. The warmth of his skin against mine, reveling from the natural high we both had endured. We’ll feel normal again, at peace.

But then reality hits.

Pete seems to notice every time it all comes back to me. It’s unspoken, the understanding. He’ll simply hold me tighter, let his hands linger- longer, heavier- as a way to ground me.

My eyes will always wander to the doorway connected to our room. The room connected to ours that was supposed to be for her. I would either sob, letting the feeling overtake me, or let myself go numb. Eventually, either way, I would fall asleep to the sound of Pete’s heartbeat.

Through it all, he never questioned me. He never told me how to grieve. He never tried to push me further than I was comfortable. Pete understood pain, and this one was one we shared.

I want you more

Somehow I just want you more

I want you more

Somehow I just want you more

More months passed. More tests came back as negative. I was beginning to lose hope. I had lost track of the times Pete had held me as I cried, promising it would happen when the time was right. But we had the room ready, we had the plans. We wanted her so badly, so I wondered, when would the time ever be right?

It didn’t help that I felt I was holding Pete back.

He was still working, his stand-up career was taking off, he still starred in SNL. He was living his life while his girlfriend mourned a life that was never really hers. It felt like he was happier whenever I wasn’t there, and I didn’t blame him. I blamed myself.

“Pete, why are you still with me?”

His head snapped to look at me, the TV, a low hum in the background. “Why would you ask me that? “

“I’m holding you back, Pete. All I ever do is sulk and cry, and when I’m not doing that, I just keep trying and trying for this baby.” I stared at my hands, feeling him scoot closer to me on the couch. Tattooed fingers grasped mine as I continued to stare. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m using you, I don’t want you to worry about me when you’re out, I just don’t want to be a burden. That’s the last thing I want to be for you.”

A deafening silence filled the room. I could barely even hear the TV.

An arm wrapped around my shoulders as Pete engulfed me into his arms. I felt him rest his head on top of mine, a large sigh leaving him. “I’m with you because I love you. Yeah, you cry a lot, but you’re mourning. Everyone deals differently. I’m just distracting myself with work, that’s how I deal. I would never leave you for just feeling.” He chuckled a bit before kissing my head. “And it’s not like I exactly mind you always wanting to have sex.”

A small dry laugh left my mouth as I pulled away enough to look up at him. Smiling down with sad eyes, he pushed hair behind my ear. “But seriously, I want her as much as you. Take as much time as you need, I’ll be here.”

And when you decide it’s your time to arrive

I’ve loved you for all of my life

And nothing could stop me from giving a try

I’ve loved you for all of my life

“Pete, get in here!”

I could hear Pete fumbling around on the balcony of our apartment, probably hurriedly putting out his blunt. Footsteps echoed in the hallway before he was leaning on the bathroom door frame. Tears streamed down my face as I stared at the test in my hand. It had to be a joke, this couldn’t be real.

“What’s wrong, what’s going on?” His arms wrapped around my middle from behind to look at the test. I felt his breath hitch. “Does that say-“

“It’s positive. Oh my god, Pete, it’s positive,” I choked out. Happy tears continued to stream as I did a one eighty to tightly hug the love of my life. He had his own tears falling, holding me as close as possible. Pressing multiple kisses to my forehead, he then ducked to plant one on my lips.

This was it. This is how it was supposed to be. This was finally relief.  

Love you more

Somehow I’ll still love you more

Love you more

Somehow I’ll still love you more

[luna--reading]

[PICK A CARD] Who is coming towards me in love?

Hello lovelies~ ♡

This is a pick a card reading for Who is coming in towards me in love? This reading is for singles who are interested to find out who could be your potential partner. To note, I don’t read genders in tarot, simply the energies of the cards.

Do take what resonates because this is after all a general reading so it can’t possibly resonate with everyone.

So take a few minutes to mediate on these 4 piles:

Pile 1 - 4 (From Left to Right)

Once you’re ready, just scroll below to find the reading that you have chosen!

You can always leave a comment or simply like the post if it resonates with you, thank you so much~ ♡♡♡

Pile 1:

Your unicorn card is “Nature” – Ground yourself; Find a sanctuary in nature; Connect with the elementals. Okay, to start off, I have a very strong sense that this person could be an earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) with the “Nature” card as well as the suit of pentacles in your spread. However, if it doesn't then do find peace with it. But moving on, what I do get with the “Round and Round” card as well as “Two of Swords” is that you might find yourself being stuck in a particular situation (probably somewhat like a cycle, something that you have went through before over and over again) when you come into contact with this person. Now, this cycle can be somewhat vicious or just a habit that is hard for you to break away from. With the “Two of Swords” I see that you are in anxiety, you might be fearful of breaking away from this cycle so actually, when this person comes into your life, you might be sort of “separated” from him/her. Or this “separation” card can simply mean that you aren’t interested to start in a relationship with anyone at the point in time when this person comes into your life because you are dealing with other things.

But I see this person trying to make that small offer to you with the “Page of Pentacles”. In addition, I see that this person could actually be the one to help you see through the cycle that you have been going through (whether or not you are conscious about this cycle) and that with his/her energy, you tend to find yourself in a more grounded place upon more interaction with him/her. Now, with “the Empress”, I see that this is how you will see this person. He/she will be very loving, very nurturing and very caring towards you, which is probably why you will eventually fall for him/her. I do see you establishing a solid relationship with this person eventually with the “Ten of Pentacles” because I see that he/she is eventually the one that you would want to spend the rest of your life with, especially with the “True Love” card.

Now, “Happy, Happy” as well as “Playfulness” serve as advice for you to take things lightly. Maybe you had or you are currently going through a tough period in your life and that you are currently just telling yourself that you have to be hard on yourself in order to succeed. However, there are things in life that you should look at from a different perspective and that will help you to clear doubts in your head. You might be in a dark place right now but let me just tell you, I do see progress with “Round and Round (25)” as well as “Happy, Happy (26)”. (I did shuffle these cards, and they popped out randomly so it’s no coincidence that these two cards are here).

Lastly, your advice from the angels is “Forgiveness” – Nothing is gained by holding on to past disappointments. So, really, forgive yourself for the past mistakes that you’ve made as well as forgive the people that have hurt you badly. Releasing all of these negativities is going to help you to attract the right people in your life. Trust that you are going to find that one that is going to treasure and love you deeply as much as you do.

Pile 2:

Your unicorn card is “Gentleness”- Be kind to yourself and others; Honour your gentleness; Speak words of love. Okay, to start off this group’s messages, I see that you are in the state of healing right now or simply just in the state of trying to love yourself first. I see that you have been hurt badly in the past by the people that you truly feel and it could just be any connection that I see you being withdrawn, disconnecting from this world as of now. I am just here to tell you, it is great that you are putting yourself first, understanding how to love yourself first and doing things for yourself but at the same time, I hope that you would be gentle with yourself. It’s not your fault that people don’t know how to cherish you, it’s not you that gave up on connections that people didn’t want to work on.

With the “Eight of Swords”, I see you feeling trapped and powerless, you don’t know how to connect with others due to these hurts that you have gone through in the past. And honestly, I see that the one that is for you is probably already in your life right now. You feel a spark with him/her, you feel like this could be the connection, this could be the one, but you are afraid to take the step forward in fear that history would repeat itself and you would be the one that is going to be defeated and hurt again. “Between Worlds” talks about how you see yourself being in limbo, on one hand, you are refusing to take the step forward but on the other, you want to trust and love again.

Now, let me tell you, with the “Justice” card I see that there is potential in this relationship. “Justice” talks about how whatever wrong you felt or you have gone through is going to be corrected and you will eventually find back your balance (with the Libra scales). Justice corresponds to the planet of Love, Venus, so I do see that this person that is probably in your life or is going to be in your life is going to be loving towards you and will show you a different perspective in love. Whether or not you are going to accept him/her is entirely up to you, to be honest, because with “The Tower” card, I see that change is going to happen and it’s going to be unexpected. It’s a fast and strong moving energy but I don’t see it as a bad thing, I feel like this change is going to be in your favour but just that it might be unexpected that you might feel at loss at first but subsequently, you will learn to accept it and move on with life.

I feel like eventually, with “By the Book” card, you will see that in the past, maybe your way of expressing love is not beneficial to you and that you are constantly being taken advantage of by the people around you. For this group, I really feel that you are a giver, you have been very giving to others that you tend to forget about your own needs and even if it created a lot of unhappiness within you, you feel that it is alright as long as others are happy. But group 2, I feel like you will eventually learn the “rules” of connections/relationships. There should be a balance in every connection and it’s not just about one party only giving and the other party of only taking. So, as you take this time to heal, please be gentle with yourself and love yourself the way that you want people to love you, because that is when you start to attract the right people in your life.

Lastly, your advice card is “Turn on your Heart Light” – Reflect on a time when you experienced love. So, really, think back to a time when you feel loved by someone and at the same time, think back to a time when you feel loved by yourself. Find back that feeling, regain back that energy and I really do have faith that you will eventually find back your balance. This person that is coming towards you in love could be the one for you and that you might be able to establish a long-term relationship with but at the same time, if you aren’t ready to accept this relationship at this point in time, this person is still here to teach you this valuable lesson and that he/she will be there to guide you through this tough period. So please, don’t give up and hang in there!

Pile 3:

Okay, before I start on this reading, I just like to say that I strongly feel that there are two people coming in towards you in love. Now, one of the energies is rather new (so it could be someone who you recently meet or is going to meet) and the other energy is someone coming back from the past. Now, if you don’t have an ex, then I would say is probably someone who you know in the past and had sort of feelings for or some sort of situation going on but there was no outcome. BUT if you really don’t have such a person in your life, then I would say that it could be someone you know from your past life, someone with a strong past-life connection. So, let’s get started:

Now, overall, your unicorn card is “Growth” – Seek out a mentor or guide; Take baby steps as you grow; Be willing to learn from others. Now, regardless if it’s a new energy or the old energy, I feel like in general, what is coming towards you in love is going to help you grow. These energies are here for a reason and I feel like they are here to teach you certain valuable lessons in regards to relationships. Now with the “To Be Fair” card, it was one of the cards that made me feel like yes there are two options for you, and you are in this position to make a decision. Now, maybe previously you were unfairly treated, maybe you were wronged and it resulted in your past relationship not working out, so with this card here, I feel like you are able to correct any wrong that was done on you and that you are able to get back that justice. This card, to me, corresponds to the “Justice” card in tarot so I see that you are currently in this balanced position to make a decision in terms of love options for you.

Okay, let’s start with this old energy first, so with the “Reconciliation” and “Pay Attention to the Red Flags”, I see it as a past person coming back into your life. And I see that they want to reconcile, they want to get back together. Now, this is especially so, with the “Four of Swords” energy. “Four of Swords” talks about inactivity, talks about meditation and simply just retreating from the world to contemplate about things in life. So I see that you guys have been separated, have been taking time out from each other, have been simply just not being in each other’s lives (physically, spiritually or energetically), I just see this form of inactivity. And with “the World” card, I see that they came to this enlightenment, they came to this knowing that you are the one for them, you are the world to them. “The World” talks about ending of a tough cycle, so it could also mean that this period of healing for you (a period of separation for both of you) is coming to an end. But more so, I see them wanting to start anew with you with this “World” card, like they see you as their world and that they want to have a new beginning with you. Whether or not, you accept them, you make the call. Your advice card here is “Embrace your Emotions” – Allow your feelings to surface and be accepted. Now, I want you to know that you are not obliged to accept this past person in any way, you can accept him/her back or you can simply just reject them, it’s really up to you. Because I see that there were red flags in your past relationship that you have been ignoring and you might be blaming yourself for not seeing things well which resulted in this break so the more you would say you don’t want to go back to the past. Now, more often than not, “the World” talks about growth. It’s the last major arcana card and it talks about the tough journey that the Fool went through and how, after achieving so many valuable lessons, the Fool has now matured and grow into someone more independent and just being more stable. So I see that this person is a changed person, they are no longer who they were in the past and they are simply really wanting to make it up to you, to start afresh with you, and to just be with you. So accept your own feelings, listen to your own heart and ask yourself if you are willing to reconcile with this person, I feel like it’s really more about you accepting your own feelings towards this person and don’t have to feel like you are obliged to listen to other people’s advice when it comes to this person because you only have to account for your own feelings. Because you are eventually, you are responsible for your own feelings and you just have to take up the consequences of that.

Okay, now let’s move on to the newer energy. I see this person as someone that is already in your life that you have recently met or recently connect with and I see this person as someone who has probably come into your life at a point where you are starting anew. With the “New Life” card, I see that you could have met this person when you or the other person has just gone through a break-up and were healing and that that’s when the connection occurred. Or simply, when you or the other person decide to let go of past energies that were hurting either of you and then the connection just happened. So I really do see that either you or this person is currently focusing on yourselves but I feel like yall are slowly seeing the feelings that they yall have for the other person with the “Page of Cups”. Now, the energies here can be vice versa (so it’s either you or them) but what I do see is that there is love, it might be a small offer of love to give but someone wants to make that offer. And this offer can come in terms of physical gifts. With the “Exchanging Gifts” card, I see that you might soon be receiving gifts from this person (or you might be the one gifting them). Either way, it’s interesting how the advice card of “Express Love Through Gifts” – A small token of love can convey great appreciation jumped out while I was shuffling (so I decided to keep it). But also, the other advice card is “Spend Quality Time Together” – Listen and talk to each other. So I really do see that in time to come, you would be able to spend some quality time with this person and that’s when you might come to a decision on whether or not to accept this person.

So eventually, I see two energies coming in for you, and you really do have the option to make that decision but either way, I do see strong growth in the near future and I see that you will eventually choose the one that you feel strongly for and that you are going to learn a lot from the connection that you choose to have AS WELL AS the connection that you choose to forgo. So either way, I do see potential for a relationship in the near future to come but do remember, as you make that decision, do be fair to both parties but also be fair and acknowledge your own feelings.

Pile 4:

So, your unicorn card is “Intuition” – Listen to the whispers of your heart; Use divination tools to help you decide; Trust your intuition, no matter what. So what I'm getting is that you might not want to be in a relationship at this point in time, or maybe you are just hesitant about a particular connection that you are currently facing. Now, with “By the Book”, I feel like this person (which I strongly feel that you already know and is probably in contact/in connection with at this point in time) is someone that is not your usual type. Or maybe someone that makes you feel unsure if your family and friends will accept him/her, just simply someone that is not the person that you feel like you will be congratulated with, like (I won’t say ashamed of) but you might not be able to explain why you chose to be with him/her to your family and friends.

But with “the Moon” card here, which strongly speaks of intuition, I see that you will eventually, trust in yourself, accept your own feelings and simply find the light that leads you to the end of this dark tunnel. With two swords card, I can tell that this has been on your mind, and even though you are in this period of inactivity (with the “Four of Swords”), you can’t help but think of this situation which is probably pretty unhealthy with the “Codependency” card. I feel like this really calls out to me that you are currently pretty stuck on this whole situation and that even though you might seem peaceful on the outside, the inside of your head is just a mess. And I see the strong want to “Free Yourself” from this whole situation.

So, with the “Knight of Swords” I do see communication coming in, so probably a lot of communication with this person on your mind, and I see that this will eventually, bring you to this crossroad of making a decision. With “Fork in the Road”, what I do see is that you will be reflecting on whether you want to take on this relationship, or whether you want to let it go. And I see that you will be able to make a decision quickly because with the “Very Soon” card I see that you simply just have to make that decision in order for things to progress and move on in your life, so that you no longer feel stuck or you feel like you are just all over the place. I see that whichever decision you make, it will sort of bringing back a certain balance in your life.

Now, honestly, I can’t tell if you will eventually take on this relationship so here are just some advice for you. “Demonstrate Love” – Find out what is important to those you love and act on it. “Honesty is Essential” – Speak with love and truth. “I love you” – These are powerful words. So, your advice is to simply communicate with not just love but also truth to the other person and I see that if you eventually decide to accept this relationship, you will have to communicate your honest thoughts and feelings to the people around you. They might not understand you, but just know that it is important for honesty as the foundation in any relationship (romantic, family, friendship etc.). So, I do believe that you will eventually gain the strength to make that decision and I truly hope that you will be happy in whichever path you choose to take.

[s-mething-mbti]

Hiya! I just discovered your blog and was wondering if you could help try to type me (sorry this is pretty long)

1. I’m currently pretty torn between the intuitive introverts. I was able to narrow it down to INTJ, INFJ or INTP. I’m about 97.2% sure I use Ni. The only thing that’s giving me a bit of doubt is I find myself occasionally learning for the sake of learning which I’ve found is a traditionally Ne trait. Despite this I’m still pretty sure I use Ni as when I go down a rabbit hole and start learning for the sake of learning its always about a topic that interests me or is entertaining. I won’t waste my time learning about something I find mundane or drab. I resonate a lot with Ni’s “aha” moments where the correct answer simply pops into my head or a vision suddenly seems clear or a plot holes solution suddenly seems painstakingly obvious. I also resonate with starting out with a broader range of information/ possibilities and narrowing it down to one or two things. Another intuitive thing I highly relate to is living in the future. If almost never living in the present, and a constantly fixate on the future. I have a distinct, clear, and well thought out plan for the next 20 years (give or take).

Where I run into a bit of trouble is when I try to figure out which judging functions I predominantly use. It honestly feels like I use them all (though I know you’re only supposed to be able to use two well). For example I plan out everything, and set deadlines for myself. My desk often seems really messy to others especially when I’m doing art. This isn’t because I don’t value cleanliness, but because it simply makes more sense to keep all my art supplies out rather than having to spend at least fifteen minutes taking them out and then putting them away only to take them right back out the next day. I set goals based off of easily measurable, external things such as time, or grades. I make daily to do lists that outline everything I’ll need to do in the day, and some stuff to focus on if I have extra time. With my to do list I also plan out the approximate time each thing should take. When coming up with a scientific theory, I take others opinions/theories and test them against each other, and current scientific laws in order to formulate the most probable theory. External opinions (in a scientific/ logical manner) mean a lot to me (I don’t really care about how people that aren’t my friends think of me). To me these things seem very Te. But then I’m always smiling and am a fairly warm person. I want my friends to be happy, and I want to help others. I despise emotionally driven conflict(though I love debates), and while I’m not afraid to disrupt it if it threatens my morals/ is promoting something blatantly wrong (factually or morally) I do really harmony. These seem like pretty Fe things to me. As for Fi, I rarely share my negative emotions, preferring to deal with them predominantly alone. While I may not talk about them much I also have EXTREMELY strong morals. If something is crossing them I’m not going to simply ignore it for the sake of harmony. While I tend to be private I do try to be as authentic as possible. My morals are derived by information I’ve collected and decisions I’ve made myself, rather than being derived by ‘the groups’ collective morals if that makes sense. To me these things appear to be very Fi. As for Ti, sometimes I enjoy learning simply for the sake of learning. The knowledge may have no practical use to me but if I find it interesting or want to learn about it I can devote hours to it. I try and come to the most logical/accurate conclusion possible, and when I’m offering advice I may offer additional advice that takes different variables into account. The truth is really important to me as well.

2. Reading. I absolutely ADORE reading(specifically fantasy/sci-fi/dystopian books or research/scientific articles about topics that interest me). For reference there was a period of time when I had some free time and I was reading 2 or 3 books a day? Read maybe 50 books in the span of 20 days? But yeah I absolutely love reading. Just he way the book sucks you in and deposits you and a completely new world full of wonder and disaster and ugh it’s just magnificent. And don’t even get me started on impeccable character development and eeee. The way rereading a book feels like you’re reconnecting with an old best friend or going back to your childhood home and *sobs*. I also LOVE trying to predict plot twists and character deaths. Most of the time I can predict things correctly and idk it’s really fun to just try and figure out what’s going to happen before the big reveal. And the rush of satisfaction you get when you’ve guessed something right- it also helps me brace for character deaths (sorta. For example I knew *the* death in the final empire [by Brandon Sanderson] was coming since nearly the very beginning [I had my suspicions since the moment vin was introduced] but I still sobbed when the character died. [a tad off topic but what caused me to cry wasn’t the death itself but another characters reaction to it. This is often the case I find. A death of a character I love leaves me feeling empty but what typically gets me to cry is the others reactions- for thus reason funerals usually make me cry. I should also add that I only cry when I’m alone. I’ve cried around people (that aren’t my parents) a grand total of 1 time.]

Uh and daydreaming. I’m almost always daydreaming. Ie. if my brain was a search engine or whatever one tab would be reality and I would consecutively have at lest 20 other tabs open. Some of then playing videos (daydreams) others supplying music(if I’m not actively listening to real music my brain cycles through songs I have memorized. Occasionally does this with book scenes too if I’m bored [yes, I memorize some of my favourite scenes, word for word, so I can play them like a movie in my head when I, bored) others containing random info (just me thinking random stuff) etc.

3. I guess how to solve some problems? Wether it’s a math or science problem, or an argument between friends, figuring out how to solve things has always been something I’m decently good at. Math and science just. Make sense. And then with issues between people I’m good at looking at different perspectives (even ones that I don’t agree with) and playing out different scenarios/ possible outcomes of different approaches. This lets me come up with a solution that will successfully solve the problem with the least amount of negative ramifications involved

4. Hmm maybe being present? I honestly feel like life is passing me by and I’m just immobilized on the sidelines. Im so far into the future that I kinda forget to actually *live* every once in a while.

5. Honesty? Truth? Morals? These topics are all really interesting as they can be kinda subjective. The line between honesty and cruelty is so small. What is truth? Cause while yes, we have some set truths (such as the earth is orbiting the sun) so many ‘truths’ are simply subjective and completely depend on ones perspective. And morals my goodness. The stormlight archive is a really fun series that plays around with things like what is justice? And honour? I won’t get into it now but it brings up so many really interesting questions regarding morals.

6. Perspective . I think perspective is such a fascinating thing. Just. Different opinions. Seeing the world through completely different lenses. Interpreting the same thing in utterly different ways. When toying around with an idea I find it really fun to try and imagine opposing perspectives. While I can find different perspectives really interesting, they can also well... get on my nerves to say the least. Sometimes someone perspective is just? So blatantly wrong? And has absolutely no factual evidence backing it up? And part of me wants to just just scream and it would be so much easier if everyone just. Assessed the facts in front of them instead of making wild accusations or whatever without anything to support them. But yeah overall I think perspectives are really cool and they’re part of what helps to make the world diverse and life so much less interesting without different perspectives.

The future. I’ve found a bunch of my friends find thinking about the future stressful but if I’m being honest I find solace in thinking about the future. Having things planned out and knowing what I intend to do/ where I want to go takes off so much stress. I lowkey live in the future and I honestly cannot wait till it comes, and I achieve my goals. While I might be a bit scared the future excites me so much more than it’ll ever scare me.

7. Maybe add some more stuff about the judging functions and feelings and thinking etc . I absolutely adore science and math. I literally do math for fun. I’m currently aiming to get my PhD in astrophysics.

Not sure if this is relevant at all but my biggest (harmless) pet peeves are my grandmother’s door stopper (it always gets stuck in the door and then u can’t get it out and the door won’t close properly- I have an unhealthy amount of hatred for that thing AHAHJSEJKSMDJDJDJJ) and when people say some variant of “you did good”. Like nO NO YOU DID NOT DO gOoD. YOU DID W E L L (Anyways theres my little mini rant).

I’m my friend groups therapist (sorta). While I’m really not good with words and recycle the same three responses I always let everyone know that I’m here for them and they can talk to me without judgement etc. While I really don’t know what to say or do I try my best because I care about my friends and want to help them. I love them and so I want them to be able to be happy. Im always smiling (though this is more so because people don’t ask me how I’m doing when I look happy than because I’m genuinely happy. Most of the time I’m he farthest thing from that). I’m a pretty warm person who’s always happy to help, however I’m very introverted. I haven’t had a single conversation with the majority of people in my class (I’ve had a convo with maybe 5. Talk to 2 regularly. There are 26 people in my class). I never express negative emotions (with the exception of stress- I panic intensely in the 5 minutes immediately before taking a test as this helps me to completely turn off my nerves while I’m writing the exam. I may also make a joke or two about my negative emotions with close friends). I should also add that when making decisions I value logic more and think thinks through thoroughly, examining the pros and cons etc. While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision. If I’m feeling really emotional and I need to make a decision I will postpone deciding until I feel more levelheaded. I’m really not impulsive in the slightest.

Thank you so much!!

INTJ

Living in the future rather than the present and your comfort in that sapce, your ability for and enjoyment of making predictions, your ability to really understand and try on different perspectives you don’t necessarily agree with, your focus on “ramifications” (aka future implications) while problem solving - this all points to high Ni.

You also show a Te preference - goals based on external metrics, to-do lists for daily tasks, logic based on the outer world (external opinion). When you said “While I take feelings and emotions into consideration when making decisions they’re more like an additional variable to consider rather than the main driving force that determines my decision” - that is a clear cut definition of Te over Fe preference.

Your tertiary Fi shows through here as well - willing to disrupt harmony if it upsets your morals, your morals being personally derived, needing to understand your emotions while alone. And lastly, your statement about “forgetting to live” from being in the future is pretty textbook inferior Se. 

[aena-blue]

Wake Up Wednesday

Hello all you beautiful souls and beings. It has been my intention for a long time to start writing more blog posts and not just do ask me’s but as you all know, ascension and awakening is a bit of a process and it pulls and pushes us back and forth, here and there, and also leaves us feeling quite drained from time to time. I really want to start connecting with and working even more with all of you to not only help as many people as I can but also for us to share knowledge, love and support with each other.

I asked Spirit what should be the theme of my Wednesday post which I hope to be able to do as close as weekly as I can, but I also consider all of my posts to be timeless so whichever one you are reading, it if resonates, was meant for you.

Wake Up Wednesday is all about Spiritual awakening, ascension, breaking free from the 3D, the old moulds, patterns and cycles. So for today’s Wake Up Wednesday I want to talk about: breaking free from fear.

Fear often come from a place of insecurity, insecurity often come from a place of lack of self love. Even when we are not actively saying to ourselves that we are unworthy of love, happiness and success, it can still be part of our belief system. Sitting in our unconscious mind and reminding us from time to time that it exists.

Now this can also be seen as a limiting belief, and I am in the process of trying to clear out mine, and I hope that you are as well. Anything is possible, let’s start from there. Anything is possible. If anything is possible, then anything is possible for you. If anything is possible for you, you can have anything you want or desire, yes? If you read that and you doubted, congratulations, you have just identified one or more of your limiting beliefs! You now have the gift of knowing something that you need to work on.

It is far too common that we feel that we are not worthy or deserving of our happily ever after. So when something happens in the 3D that triggers us, we start doubting our connections with other and our chances of success. We tell ourselves it’s all gonna go to shit, or that person is going to break up with us or ‘insert anything that is negative here’.

When we practice the art of self love we learn that bad things do not happen to us, ever, for we are only worthy of the very best. When we believe in that, even the less desirable things that come our way do not shake us, stir us or disturb us. We quickly allow things to pass for we sit comfortable in our knowing that only good things happen to us, and anything we see that is not that, is just temporary and in the end, we will have our desired outcomes.

As you can tell this is rather big topic and I could write pages and pages about it, I will however stop here for what I wanted to do was to bring this topic to your attention. A very crucial part of ascension and awakening is to do the ‘inner work’ and that means facing some very ugly old belief systems so that we can replace them with new ones. This can be quite uncomfortable, but think of them as old, right now, that way you know they’re outdated and not meant for you to bring with you moving forward. You are worthy of love, you are deserving, you are loved, you are love itself in your essence. I love you and I believe in you.

As always you can always message me or use the “ask me” function for anything that might be on your mind, or on your heart. I am here for you all, always. I’ve been thinking about offering one to one coaching again to help people through their Spiritual awakening and the ascension process, if you have any interest in this my email is down below. 

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For anyone that feels so inclined I do have an etsy shop for readings or if you prefer I now also have an email where you can send requests for readings or for anything you'd like to share etc: aenablue@gmail.com.

Much love and light to you all and to the universe 💛💜

~ Lady Blue💙

[aspoonofsugar]

Jean says "Those outsiders started it" but is he forgetting the fact Eldians were actually the ones who started the ethnic cleansing in the first place? Not trying to spread negativity btw, or justifying any sides (I can't stop despising the Marleyans for spreading lies about Eldians) I'm just intrigued by your ideas on this. Thank you about all your contribution to this fandom. I absolutely love your meta posts which is why you're the first person that comes to my mind every time I need help 😊

Hello anon!

Thank you for the nice words!

I have talked about Jean’s words here and here.

That said, let’s see what he says:

I don’t think he exactly says that the rest of the world started it (unless I am missing the line you mean and in this case feel free to write back), but he is rather implying that the rest of the world’s prejudices are ironically what led to their fear becoming true.

This is something which was hinted at even in chapter 123 which is called Devils of the Island. There, we are shown how Eren came to his choice through Mikasa’s pov and there is no doubt that the world’s obstination into considering the people of Paradis monsters had a huge role in it. This is also the explanation Eren offered:

In short, the world’s hate and prejudice fueled a vicious cycle which resulted into their own demise. If they had been more tolerant and had simply given the people of Paradis a chance this outcome could have been avoided. This is what Jean means.

That said, Jean is actually tricking himself and is somehow giving up on his own agency. Let’s consider this line:

“There was nothing we could have done”

And let’s compare it with these two:

Jean’s words seem to be the opposite of what Mikasa and Armin have been wondering. Mikasa and Armin ask themselves if things could have turned out differently had they made a different choice. Had they not attacked Marley, could they have somehow avoided the war? Had Mikasa been more honest and open with Eren, would Eren have given up on his plan? Let’s highlight that both Mikasa and Armin recognize how small the chances of their choices having a huge impact on things were. However, they keep wondering and can’t give up on the idea they could have avoided this outcome. Jean negates this, instead. He is saying that they have no responsibility in this because they could not have avoided things to turn out this way. This may be why, when Jean says so,  we have that panel of Armin and Mikasa looking at him in shock.

All in all, the series is about freedom and this is why choices have always been important. That said, the perspective the series endorses is more nuanced than the simple idea that by standing up and making a choice, a person can successfully change things:

All in all, I think that this quote by Levi is still the best to convey the series’s main idea about freedom and choices. You don’t know if the choice you are making will bring the results you hope. You might get it wrong or things could turn out the same no matter what you choose. That said, you still have to make a choice or you will have regrets. At the end of the day, being free could simply consist in the ability of making a choice even when it seems pointless or that you don’t have one.

Here, Jean is somehow giving up on his own choice.

Moreover, Jean’s behaviour reminds me of what Annie says here:

Annie’s speech might be very important for the current situation.

On one hand she highlights how the majority of people just goes with the flow and has not enough strength to change the system or to fight injustice.

On the other hand she criticizes Marlowe’s simplicistic idea of turning people into “normal humans”. She highlights how normal humans are weak and worthless and that this is why Marlowe’s line of thought could actually be dangerous. Basically Annie, way before the current arc, is warning us against the dangers of trying to mold human beings according to an ideal.

Interestingly, both Eren and Jean are present in her flashback and she clearly associates them to the two ends of the spectrum. Jean is the “worthless and evil one” who only thinks about himself, while Eren is the idealistic one who wants to change the world and who strongly believes in an ideal.

This foiling has also come back recently:

Jean has admitted that he was jealous of Eren and would have liked to be more like him. Similarly, in this chapter Jean highlights how Eren has basically managed to save both the Island and Historia and how they are the ones who will benefit the most by it.

In short, Eren is once again molding the world to his will through his agency, while Jean is once again going with the flow and accepting things as they come.

However, this is not all that there is to it. As a matter of fact, Jean’s “weaknesses” is what lets him empathize with others and understand normal people’s limits. It is this trait of his which makes him a good leader, while Eren lacks in this department:

The battle of Trost makes it crystal clear. On one hand Eren is outraged by the deaths of his friends and charges ahead. This results in him almost dying and not being able to help his comrades (except for Armin). On the other hand Jean is ready to give up on his comrades’ lives and even uses them in order to save as much people as possible.

In short, both Jean and Eren have their strengths and weaknesses and they happen to be complementary. That said, right now it seems that they are both embodying what Annie has been criticizing about both these types of people.

On one hand Jean is being overly passive. On the other hand Eren has been (apparently) ignoring everyone else’s point of view and is charging ahead alone to realize a vision he had.

In other words, Jean has to accept that he needs to step up and to play his role in order for the world to change, while Eren has to learn that bending the world to fulfill an ideal might not be the best choice ever.

Let’s also underline that since we are still lacking pieces when it comes to Eren’s point of view, it is difficult to properly discuss this foiling when it comes to the current situation and I might be pretty off when it comes to Eren. That said, I still think that what Annie said fits Jean’s situation pretty well.

Thank you for the ask!

[enetarch-working-w-adhd]

Why do people with ADHD have Depression so much?

Studies show that by the time children with ADHD turn 12, they have heard 20,000 times more negative comments directed at them than a typical child does. The ADHD kid, like most kids, want to do things well and get praise, so they try as hard as they can to do things right!  However, more often than not, no one even notices the effort, and the child has over looked some detail, so they recieve more negative criticism.  This eventually ends up in a chronic sense of, “I can’t make anyone happy ... especially myself!”

The scars from being constantly reminded that it isn’t working by abusive family members, friends, community elders, and other people in authority, leads to a vicious cycle of trying, failing, comparing themselves, all while trying to navigate through the fog in their minds, due to low dopamine levels.  Which, leads to questions and self doubt about why people with ADHD are always one step behind everyone else, or an outsider.  This repeated disappointment and frustration snowballs easily into a negative thought cycle and depression.

People with ADHD get these negative comments because they forget details like: promises, birthdays, friends special moments, parties, or details of projects.  It appears that you’ve let others down, because you hyperfocused on a project you liked, or were lost in a depressive episode about something you screwed up again.  No matter how hard someone with ADHD tries, they will always let someone down.

The negative thought cycle is the key to ADHD Depression.

In order to break out of the depression, people with ADHD have to remember that their emotions are event driven. [ per Dr. Russell Barkley ].  In his discussion on the 30 Essential Ideas You Need to Know about ADHD, he discusses how the DSM excludes emotions from the diagnosis of ADHD, and that’s he’s working to get it back into the DSM.  The reason why it’s hard to classify emotions is that they are qualitative, not quantitative.  Thus, they are hard to categorize and show causality, vs coincidental relationships.  What is not coincidental and can be quantitatively tracked is how the emotions are affected by various types of events, real or imagined.

Since, people with ADHD have event driven emotions, the focus of stopping depressive cycles is in resolving the original event that cause the depressive episode to start.  This is akin to reversing a spell on Be Witched, where Sam has to figure out which spell was cast, then reverse it. The original event, is the original trigger that created a negative emotional response, which shot cortisol into the brain, which started the negative thoughts, which created more negative events, which shoots more cortisol into the brain, and so on.

The next step for the person with ADHD is to build an event driven emotion from something that generates positive events, and positive feelings.  The easiest practice to learn is to just breath. Taking a deep breathing feels good.  Meditation, is actually the easiest thing to learn. Many people with ADHD are curious and ask how to stop the thoughts in their head - positive or negative - because, they want to just have a clear minds for once.

Taking a deep breathing feels good.

Building a series of positive events takes practice and needs to become a default learned behavior, just as it’s the default learned behavior to self criticize.  These positive events create a series of positive emotions, which produce dopamine, which create positive thoughts, which create positive events, which create positive emotions ... And, so on.

People with ADHD fall out of this cycle because an external event restarts the negative thought cycle.  It doesn’t have to major, something small and tiny.  And, with practice, they can catch that negative event, sandwich it between positive events, and restart the positive event and self talk cycle.  Psychologists call this self soothing, or a coping mechanism.

People with ADHD need to learn how good taking a breath is.  Sitting down, breathing in deeply, and exhaling. Once, you have mastered this, then people with ADHD can move to the next level.  Learning how to create positive events, or arranging their day so that the majority of events are positive.

Creating Positive Events is Fun.

Creating positive events is easy.  It’s actually very easy. You just have to pay attention.  2 things that people with ADHD have lots of trouble with. Paying attention, and doing it right.  So, let’s make creating positive events as easy and simple as possible.  

Most people with ADHD become overloaded by the things they have to do, or don’t remember what those ToDo’s are.  So, first, they need to write down their ToDo’s as they pop into their head.  If they can’t get that ToDo out of their head, then they need to DO IT! otherwise, they become distracted by the thought of something they have to do it, over and over and over again.

1st thing, stop being overloaded.  Create 2 ToDo lists.  The first list contains all the things you had to do yesterday and days previous.  The second list contains all the things that HAVE TO BE DONE TODAY!, because today is all that matters to people with ADHD. Right NOW!

2nd thing, put on happy music. Not a video, but happy music.  If you need a bit more of a kick start into happy land, put on a short positive YouTube clip of Kittens or Puppies.  Or, something that you know, generates positive emotions for you.

3rd thing, people with ADHD need to sandwich negative tasks / negative events, between positive events.  Every time you look at a ToDo and have a negative reaction to it. that ToDo has to be placed between positive rewards.  Include, but not limited to a 5 course Steak Dinner.  Sometimes, the reward has to be so powerful, that it drives you right through the negative task / event.

4th thing, learn to arrange your events.  If you have a series of positive events lined up, you get shots of dopamine. The more happy juice you get, the easier, funner, happier things seem to be. And, the easier it is to keep negative thoughts out of your head.

There have been days where I’ve went from ToDo to ToDo to ToDo because I was driven by positive outcomes.  I could keep working till I was exhausted.  And, this will happen. At some point your dopamine production will be exhausted, and you can’t do anything anymore.  SLEEP!

5th thing, remember to sto and take a deep breath and feel how good it feels. And, remind yourself of how good things feel right now.  The more you do this, the more you cement this practice into coping skills, habits, routines, and your life in general.

6th thing, everytime a negative thought or criticism pops into your head, push back with a positive thought, about something you accomplished.  You did that!  And, remind yourself, that you’re no longer in the past. You’re here, in the present, in the moment, and you feel good.

7th thing, if there is something super important that has to be done that day, chant it like a montra until it is done.  Turn that ear worm into something useful. Take a song you like, and chang the words so that it contains the ToDo that you need to get done.  

8th thing, pay attention to body sensations. These will distract a person with ADHD, and derail their goals - completing the day’s ToDo’s.  Body sensations are hunger, aches and pains, cramps, itchy skin, or other things.  Write a note about what you were doing, set a time, set the note on the timer, and then take care of the body sensation.

How will you know that you’ve done it right, every time you do this right, you will get a shot of dopamine.

[tocxmply]

BRAINWASHING & ACTIVATION WORDS         [sources: click, click, click, click, click, click]

         so --- the process that underlies HYDRA’s creation of the Winter Soldier. first of all, this can be described as a process of brainwashing/ mind control/ mind manipulation to the point of breaking down one’s identity and reforge it at another’s will. what we know about brainwashing from scientific evidence is that this process is still debatable — whether it is real or a different psychological phenomenon, what it takes to happen, consequences, etc. obviously, it is impossible to conduct research to test hypotheses in such a field — for this reason, i have researched accordingly (shoutout to @timeripe​ for coming along for the ride) and i have tried to build up this background as realistically and plausibly as possible.

1. ELECTROCONVULSIVE/ ELECTROSHOCK STIMULATION (ECS)

         starting at 1945 --- right after Bucky’s fall and when he was captured. ECS was growing quite popular in the psychiatry field in the 1940s, after observations that, for example, it was useful to put a person in an anesthetized state. it was also already demonstrated that the electroshock provoked retrograde amnesia, in that patients could not remember the treatment and therefore had no ill feelings toward it. knowing this, as well as the effect of a general sense of confusion left after treatment, it’s small wonder that HYDRA saw the potential this could have in producing compliant soldiers for their cause. nowadays. it is also known that memory loss and confusion are more pronounced for patients who receive a steady flow of electrical impulses and who undergo bilateral electrode placement, both of which are the Soldier’s case (re: the latter, it’s not actual electrodes used on him because the machines we see in the movies are quite rudimentar tbh, but it is a protocol of bilateral stimulation). we also know that some patients have persistent memory losses, especially with bilateral ECS. therefore, it is also not difficult to envision that, with frequent and non-optimized shock sessions (if not downright done on purpose to force all these side effects), in the course of 70 years of captivity, the Soldier’s memory was frequently wiped clean for the most part and that some portions of it may never be entirely recovered, even if he’s to be removed from this hazardous context (i will venture deeper into his memory + amnesia in a different meta). additionally, whereas nowadays there is no solid evidence that ECS causes brain damage, there are reports that it might result in a lack of blood flow and oxygen to the heart, heart arrhythmia, and persistent asystole.

         tl;dr --- this is a procedure that, when done without regard for the patient’s integrity (which, disclaimer, is NOT what happens nowadays during perfectly safe and optimized ECS therapy sessions), is terrifying af and does not immediately produce immense trauma only because the procedure in itself, ironically, causes the person to be unable to remember it. again, a perfect mechanism to be used by HYDRA standards.

2. CLASSICAL/ PAVLOVIAN CONDITIONING

         this is depicted in “Captain America: Civil War”, by the use of the infamous activation words and how they promptly revert Bucky back to the Winter Soldier mindset and, basically, turn him back to HYDRA’s puppet with zero autonomy/ agency. classical conditioning is “a learning procedure in which a biologically potent stimulus (e.g. food) is paired with a previously neutral stimulus (e.g. a bell). it also refers to the learning process that results from this pairing, through which the neutral stimulus comes to elicit a response (e.g. salivation) that is usually similar to the one elicited by the potent stimulus“. so, how does this apply to the activation words?

         from what we can see at the start of CA:CW, during the flashback in 1991, the biologically potent stimulus is the ECS, as discussed in topic 1, which provokes a state where, right after the session, the Soldier is 1) in a state of confusion, 2) in an anesthetized state of sorts, 3) having no recollection of what just happened, and 4) with his memory in general converted to a clean slate. all of these are ideal, in turn,  to induce a state of hypnosis. in this case: “hypnosis is a state of human consciousness involving focused attention and reduced peripheral awareness and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion. during hypnosis, a person is said to have heightened focus and concentration. the person can concentrate intensely on a specific thought or memory, while blocking out sources of distraction. hypnotized subjects are said to show an increased response to suggestions”. again, it’s not hard to see how convenient this is when you’re trying to create the perfect soldier/weapon, who’s 100% focused on your objectives and doing your bidding only. this is the default mode of functioning of the Winter Soldier, and what is achieved via the activation words.

         so, the way i see it... what happens is that, after every ECS session, a hypnosis session immediately follows. during hypnosis sessions, the Soldier undergoes indoctrination on the whole HYDRA is here to save the world, we fight for freedom, everyone who opposes us needs to be removed, we’re the good guys, etc --- a message we see being clearly used in “Captain America: The Winter Soldier”, by Alexander Pierce, when Winter questions the man on the bridge --- he’s immediately reminded of how he himself changed the century, how he’s doing the right thing and this man doesn’t matter, yada yada. whenever this message does not work by itself, then a new ECS session is needed to restart the cycle; aka wipe him and start over.

         during hypnosis sessions, that is also when the activation words are recited, again when the Soldier’s mind is solely focused on them and nothing else. and this is how the conditioning, therefore, works: an initially neutral stimulus (activation words) is associated with other stimuli (shock sessions + hypnosis sessions) which is able to produce a desirable response (absolute compliance, zero resistance, zero questioning of orders, zero agency), so that, by itself, the neutral stimulus becomes able to elicit this same response.

         let me add here that the state of cryostasis the Winter Soldier is kept in, whenever he’s not needed, is also essential for this process --- as, despite the popular “cold sleep” name, this isn’t true sleep at all. this does not allow for REM sleep to occur, which in turn does not allow for short-term learning to be properly converted into long-term memories. which, again in turn, explains the Soldier’s amnesia and, as well, why the conditioning must be reinforced every time he’s awoken (i.e., the reason why he’s awoken, dragged out of the cryo chamber, shoved down for ECS + conditioning --- as we see depicted at the start of CA:CW). 

3. CONSEQUENCES

         first and foremost, i love the general idea depicted at the end of “Black Panther” that recovery IS possible, even for someone who’s quite literally gone through hell and back. however, i don’t agree with the idea that the activation words can be entirely removed, so to speak --- for example, it is well demonstrated that operant conditioning responses can take as much as 10,000 attempts without any sort of reinforcement, before eventually becoming extinct (thank u B.F. Skinner). ofc there is always the excuse that this is fiction and we can make technology as badass as we want, but i’m not a fan of that --- so i go for a compromise as realistic as i can do.

         we know that Shuri was able to “deprogram” Bucky quite substantially, but we aren’t explicitly told how --- only that it was achieved by the time of “Avengers: Infinity War”. we also have Bucky himself stating that he is now “a semi-stable 100-year-old man “ --- semi-stable obviously implying that he still has to deal with some sort of sequels, despite his huge and beautiful progress. back to Shuri’s strategy, i would say this was heavily based on a protocol of counterconditioning/ stimulus substitution and systematic desensitization. to make a long story short, the rationale was to break the association between activation words + Winter’s mindset, to make it so that the power of the activation words over Bucky is as reduced as possible, and to instead associate these activation words with desirable outcomes --- for example, a positive stimulus, such as affectionate human contact, that is offered at the same time the words are recited --- so that the words are gradually able to elicit a positive emotion, rather than complete submission.

         from what we currently know, this sort of intervention has great success and, for example, was one of the earliest behavioral treatments for post-traumatic stress disorder. however, we also know that it is not a perfect technique (like none is) --- which, all things given, leads me to believe that the words have not lost their power entirely. so... whereas, for the most part, by the time of IW they have become obsolete as far as triggering the Winter Soldier mindset goes (provided Bucky is in a positive context), they can still provoke anxiety and they can still bring back a great deal of noxious memories associated with those days. so, for example, reciting these words at this point in time will not succeed in brainwashing, but it will provoke a negative/vulnerable mindset and, under certain circumstances and in certain contexts, may provoke an actual panic attack.

         to conclude: in my portrayal, the events that are post-CA:CW will bring about the start of Bucky’s recovery --- which will be progressive, extended (tbh it will likely be a lifetime process), and certainly not able to revert him back to the man he was in 1945 but that will, no doubt, make a huge difference for his mental health, integrity, and stability. depending on the timeline i’m writing him on, obviously, his progress will greatly vary --- right at the end of CA:TWS, he’s dysfunctional for the most part and greatly vulnerable, whereas, by the time of IW and beyond, he still suffers from severe PTSD symptoms but has learned how to better cope with them and how to preserve his well-being.

[yvaquietdays]

Deciding to be happy.

Sometimes meditation doesn’t work.  Sometimes being mindful of your downfalls doesn’t work. Sometimes yoga doesn’t work. Sometimes writing doesn’t work. It’s a little hard for me to describe how I’ve been feeling the last month or so. Of course I’m going to try, that’s why I write a blog. *sly face* So I’ve talked about cycles before. Being aware of the small turnovers of life makes the every day manageable; being aware of how our emotions and vibrations fluctuate certainly makes everything seem a little less daunting.

I’ve been conscious that I’m entering a new cycle of my life. I’m not so far away from turning 28, an age I’m told is the beginning of the fourth cycle in life. And whether you buy into the hokey-pokey, it makes sense if you suspend your disbelief for a moment. Apparently you have the first 7 years, the years of your childhood and innocence, of unadulteratingly questioning and experiencing the world you live in. Then the second stage, taking you to 14, where you’re contemplating adulthood and experiencing massive physiological changes and all the outcomes of that. Then to 21, where all the shit hits the fan and explodes outwards all over you and the people in your life. I’ve been dealing with the proverbial shit of this third cycle for a while, experiencing existential fear and anxiety for the first time, sorting through the people in my life, assessing how I relate and love, seeing my familial relationships through new eyes, shaving off the bits of me I don’t like. Essentially, the un-conditioning of myself and becoming a new person. 

The last time my life seem to change, there were signals. Life threw me signs that I was about to turn things upside down for a bit. I emotionally and spiritually gave up on London and I lost two friends to the music industry; its hold over all of us to get as much out of our creative outputs as possible (i.e money). This is important enough to mention because it damaged me a lot. It affected my trust with people and I felt so betrayed and let down. I’ve made my peace with them and with the situation, but I’ve learned from it, because at the time, it was just another knife in the side, and I didn’t want it happening again. From that point though, I headed steadily downhill somewhere close to the bottom, where I was thinking of jacking it in altogether. I considered going into property with my savings and my Dad. I considered opening a home-brew shop with my partner, who really was my anchor when I was close to floating off unmoored. I didn’t though, because my other anchor was my own spirit, the relentless resilience I seem to have inherited, that I’m sure I don’t deserve; my music and my innate and absolute desire to howl at the moon. Nitin played a huge part in getting me through this phase. Had I not worked with him, I might have forgotten how important singing was to me. He was a kind of the lifeboat that kept me chugging along in the rougher waters for a while; I was desperately unhappy but those days of rehearsals, shows, and being involved in the dance piece were all life rings that I could swim to and gradually get closer to solid ground. At this point, I believe I was shedding off the things I didn’t need to prepare myself for this next stage.

And this time, I’ve also lost two friends. I’m not going into any great detail about this, only that I believe it was for the best and ultimately the whole experience told me a lot about the people in my life, who I am, and what I stand for. It had a lot to do with how I’ve allowed people to take advantage of me for too long. This ties into one of my previous blogposts about saying sorry and not wanting to rock the boat. I have been conditioned to be nice and I am actively changing this. I have Jameela Jamil to thank for opening my eyes and forcing me to see that it doesn’t make me difficult or manipulative to call out the truth and stand strongly within it. They ended up deleting me from their life because of it. But I hated the entire situation. It hurt. Needless to say it had a big affect on me. That combined with new opportunities taking a while to come to fruition seemed to trigger my anxiety and low mood for the first real time since I wasn’t well. It brought back a lot of bad feelings about inadequacy, self-doubt and the need for external validation that I’ve worked so bloody hard on eradicating. 

Validation is the key word here. I believe it is what most of us struggle with going into our adult lives. I’ve worked very hard to not rely on other people’s voices to bolster my own self-esteem. I’ve done my soul-work, I only listen to my own. I’ve learned to tell the ignorant slut (pls read past post re this: it’s what I call my anxiety) in my mind to shut up when she’s being unkind. But over the last few weeks and returning from LA, which now seems like a dream, the voice has elbowed its way in and I’ve allowed it to have an affect on me. I’m waiting; waiting like I did before, waiting for good feedback, waiting for someone else to come at me with the next opportunity. Stagnant. Waiting for the world, looking for someone to blame.

So what the fuck am I doing? I mean, really. I have been arranging my own sessions, writing my book and flirting with a second, being open and vulnerable about my talent and about my humanness. I’ve been rocking it.

But recently, the difference was that I was doing my yoga, not practising it. I was forcing myself to set an intention of success, orienting everything around my goals. I meditated just to check it off the list. But you can’t apply mindfulness with brute force, with a shotgun to the head and your arm twisted behind your back. What I was doing went hand in hand with the thought that, “If I don’t, I will fail.” Before I knew it, I was telling myself I wasn’t worth it. I’m not creative. I don’t have any ideas. I don’t have an emotional scale. I feel nothing about anything. Have a baby, do something else. You don’t belong in that world (LA). You don’t know who you are. You’re not passionate enough about your art. You’re not passionate about anything. Why is nobody getting back to you? You’re forgettable. It’s because you’re not assertive enough. They deleted you because you meant nothing to them. They didn’t apologise to you because they don’t value you.

The rabbit hole is deep and it is wide. Once you’re on that slope, it seems pre-destined that you’ll end up at the bottom before you even notice you slipped. But I noticed. I’ve my best mate and flatmate to thank for a conversation that made me realise what I was doing, ‘cos I was feeling pretty low there for a minute.  The truth is that it takes real mental effort and strain to drag yourself up the mud slide back to even ground. When I was feeling pretty bad, I used to dream about doing the same thing over, and over, and over again and never reaching a resolution. I dreamt that I was at the bottom of the muddy bank and I could not get to the top where the grass was still green. So doing yoga and meditating over and over to force wellness doesn’t work. Negativity does not beget negativity. You have to accept your feelings and do the work to counter-argue with yourself in a gentle and loving way. I am worth it. I am creative. I feel everything, that’s why it hurts. I know who I am, more than ever. I’d be a great mum, but if I have a baby now I’ll probably forget about it and leave it in the washing basket. I am passionate. I am open and patient, and I trust that things will work out. I am hardworking. And they deleted you because they didn’t value you. That says more about them than you, you stone cold, lovely, bad ass bitch. 

Bye felicia.

I am entering a new chapter of my life soon, and I feel my world shifting to allow for it. It isn’t waiting if I regain control and organise my life. Just because someone is giving you an opportunity doesn’t mean that the work is done. It means that you’re just getting started, and you have to work, now more than ever.

Last week I wrote a song on the guitar. This has not happened in a long time. I was consuming a lot of emotional TV (Queer Eye, k thnks), and I was inspired to assess my own mental health. I got complacent, and the doubt got in. It never really goes away, and just because I was feeling better there for a hot minute in LA, doesn’t mean that the work is done. It continues. Always. I don’t want to wake up one day and realise I’m missing something vital because I looked to others to tell me what I’m worth. Everyone else wants as much as possible for themselves. If that means cheapening you so that they’re worth more; that is what they will do. Know. Your. Own. Worth. ‘Cos even your friends will undervalue you.

Self doubt waits at the door, constantly. It wants to be let in, but you keep it at bay. You nod to it, but you don’t allow it across the threshold.

After I recorded the song idea into my phone, I sobbed. Hard. I cried my eyes out. And then I was done. I let the tears come out, unbidden, because I needed to feel it. I think I needed to remember the power of that musical release, why I do what I do. Sure, I’m not like other musicians or singers. Maybe I am depressing, but I’m communicating something that is honest and what we all go through. I am me. And that is enough. It doesn’t matter, all that other stuff. It doesn’t. What matters is how I feel about my music. 

I’m getting to my conclusion, I promise. I meditated earlier this week, and the lovely Andy Puddicomb at Headspace told me to see my mind as the sky. Behind all the clouds, there is always a blue horizon. Just like when you’re on a plane and you finally get above the candy cotton clouds, and in your head you do a little Peter Pan style bounce across them. There’s a soft kind of release I get when I see that. Peace and quiet. Space and breath. Everything else; feelings, thoughts, how we dress, what the world might think...they’re the clouds. When I feel low, my mind seems like an overcast horizon that will not break. An endless, grey, unfeeling cloud of bleak whatever. When I feel good, it’s a summers sky with fluffy white clouds rolling through; you know they won’t stay forever. Meditating is grounding, and reminding yourself with nothing more complicated than breathing that your default setting is a vast blue sky. Warm and peaceful. It might even feel like nothing, but that’s ok too. Everything else is temporary. Clouds are impermanent. The sky is always clear.

So this is my point. I set my intention that day to have a good day. 

Enjoy the little details, enjoy my trial shift at the cafe, enjoy the look on southerners faces when I have a bit of craic with them. Enjoy cooking, enjoy the process, enjoy the walk between here and there, the blossoms, the warmth of the sun on my face. Choose happiness. Choose the blue sky. Decide to be positive. It’s not always easy, and maybe it doesn’t always work. After all, life throws us curveballs and it hurts to get whacked in the face, but it’s a damn sight better than choosing to be an arsehole about it. Try it.

Decide to be happy. 

xxx

[johansson98mccarthy-blog]

Quantum Physics Can safeguard Your Home From fatal Dor

What do those individuals speak about, negatives? No, they speak about favorable things, and they discuss possibilities. Their talk appears to show that they are anticipating excellent things to happen to them. Every day, visualize this individual that is coming into your life. It is typically traceable to impatience and doubt when individuals have problems manifesting relationships into their lives. This is the time when once you have actually pictured, and you understand that deep space is finding and bringing you what you want, you need to let it go. Let the Universe look after the how and you simply concentrate on your mate. You can exchange cash for anything you like. You can purchase food, pay rent, go to a motion picture, or buy an automobile. Whatever it is that you need or want, the energy of loan can provide it. It's a generic, practical and absolutely versatile kind of energy. And that's all. Develop devices for the girl's paper dolls. Cut out depressione but keep in mind the brand-new clothes will just hold on to the doll where the magnet exists on back. You might require to utilize bigger pieces to produce the coverup clothing if you've utilized mere strips and bits to hold the strengthened dolls to the fridge. It's best to make the dolls themselves with a solid sheet of magnet then utilize strips and pieces to create additional clothing and accessories. The secret to an Unbelievable brand name is strategic thought-provoking principles and images that clearly articulate the personification of your brand name. So for all intents and purposes, the preparation process of constructing an Unbelievable brand will be understood via a branding board. The root cause or reasons for procrastination run deeper than you believe. The baseline course of procrastination is merely that you do not want to do the job ahead, for whatever reason. It actually is as basic as that! It may be that you find the work tiring, that you believe you are skilled adequate to do it, that it would be boring, but it will result in repercussions and results that you 'd rather not experience. What you truly desire to do with your life is not what you think you should be doing. The increasing time and soil situations are much from exceptional and nonetheless Eileen simply realized that the authorities products have actually been not adequate: This yard was needed. While in her time digging and weeding in her tiny garden, Eileen was checked out by the 'fairy kingdom' or as she would call them 'nature divas'. She heard a voice pleading with her to plant some veggies jointly and to chat to some struggling vegetation. Of-course she considered she had freaked and through the edge mentally, however it kept happening. She was also gone to by yet another 'higher order' entity that she described as 'my guidance'. There is a collective bank of thoughtforms that is out there in the environment that we are already tuned in to. The idea of having a million dollars in your savings account? That was not your idea now was it? Believe in the process. You're belief in the procedure of the law of attraction is vital to your success. You may pursue total positivity, however if you have doubts about the outcome deep down, then you'll still enable unfavorable thoughts to influence you. You need to believe in the process since anything that's possible can occur for you with the ideal frame of mind. So what is the answer, both for Britney as well as for us? Since to recommend the pressing thirst of taking pleasure in ringside seats with the downfall of the Spears family as the main occasion as anything however a two-way street is completely unethical. We require Britney to fall, simply as much as she requires us to take her by the hand and assist her off the ground. Delegated its own devices, this situation has just one end, and look no further than Anna Nicole Smith or Elvis if you want to know what that is. Then, when that happens, we'll all enjoy 24-hour news cycle coverage as we once again cluck our tongues and judge some more.

[mybumpbirthandbeyond]

Consultant Review

I felt like I was limbo until this appointment. A c-section had never entered my head until I was told it was likely the baby was breech.

It was too early to do any scans until 36/37 weeks so my appointment was arranged for the day before I turned 37 weeks. It was a good thing work was winding down, as it was difficult to concentrate. My husband managed to attend and I was grateful for that. I was to have the scan first, then have a discussion with the doctor after.

Sitting in the waiting area brought back memories of a scan at a similar time with Cailean. The difference was it was his size which was in question - we already knew he was head down and partially engaged. This was a very different experience this time. I was convinced we were going to be told the baby was breech and we would be told we would be getting a c-section.

What happened next left me in shock - the baby was head down, in the right position (occipito anterior) with their face to my back (so not back to back). Once again, I had to remember to say we don’t want to know the sex. They measured everything else to make sure all was well. They were happy with everything and pointed out I was on track for 8lb 7oz of baby this time (Cailean was 7lb and 10oz) with long legs. The midwife joked it’s not massive - still manageable! Cailean was also long despite my husband being average height and me being 5”3. (Other relatives on both sides are tall). The significance I guess is what that will mean for my abdominal wall this time - not huge but certainly bigger than Cailean. Low on the list of priorities but it did cross my mind.

I was still considered low risk so I was to book in with my midwife at 39 weeks and go from there. The midwife was astounded I went naturally myself last time and gave birth on my due date. “So you’ve ordered the same this time around then?” Yes 😂

I didn’t have to speak to the consultant but I’d made a rather concerning discovery when I was doing perineal massage - a marble sized lump which was visible. Initially I thought it was a result of haemorrhoids which had flared up, but I realised it was something different and suspected it was a cyst. I knew they were usually left alone, but I also knew they would sometimes carry out a biopsy to make sure there wasn’t something more sinister going on.

I asked to see the consultant on that basis. On examination she asked me where I felt it but I told her she would be able to see. She told me it was a sebaceous cyst. Not as a result of my episiotomy as I thought. I knew after three pelvic floor examinations there was no way this would have been missed. She said she thought the best thing was to leave it and it would either go during the pushing stage of labour, or they could deal with it during any perineal repair post birth. Some cysts can cause pelvic floor symptoms and this was something I didn’t want to leave to complicate recovery. She said there was even a chance it would go during perineal massage.

They are apparently quite common and midwives regularly see them during delivery. I’m hopeful that’s the extent of concerning discoveries. The known quantities are fine by me - I just don’t need anything to throw me a curve ball this time. I’ve had my fill and don’t think anyone would argue I haven’t been through the wringer already.

I had already planned to tell my physios whatever the outcome, knowing we had moved a consult to know exactly what the result of my review was. The consult took place a few days after, the day I finished up for maternity leave.

I hadn’t expected to get on my high horse, but the build-up to the appointment and the result had been the culmination of months – 9 months to be precise – of everything being about my tummy and my diastasis. Every single appointment it was mentioned; it was the reason why they struggled to find the baby’s heartbeat; the reason the baby was put down as breech at every appointment; and the supposed reason why I couldn’t have a normal vaginal delivery. The only appointment where it wasn’t mentioned, was the consultant appointment – it had taken 37 weeks before it wasn’t mentioned at all!

I was pretty exhausted – mentally and emotionally from everything. Antony pointed out that it’s exhausting to keep trying to reframe everything in your own head, when so many people are telling you things that are negative. I felt I had been constantly chipped away at every appointment. Most of the time I had my thick skin on and could almost laugh it off, but even that was wearing thin.

I want to make it clear that in no way do I feel like I’m some sort of champion for women with diastasis. I’m just an ordinary woman who decided to share her journey – initially for personal reasons – but also to hopefully help other women in the same position feel less isolated and alone and to share as much about this to increase awareness. However, for some reason, I have been contacted by women from all over the World, sharing their stories, or asking for advice. A number of those women are pregnant and shared how they had also been told they could not have a vaginal birth because of their DRA. I have my physios to tell me otherwise – not everyone can be that lucky and I was frustrated at how far this misinformation seemed to have spread.

We discussed this on the consult and I pointed out my frustrations were not as a result of possibly requiring a c-section – I was pragmatic about that. My issue was that if I ended up with a c-section, everyone would think it was BECAUSE of my diastasis. There are hundreds of reasons why I could need a c-section or why a baby could be breech at term, but everyone would be convinced it was because of my DRA – the baby couldn’t get in the right position or couldn’t stay in the right position. My midwife would then be able to tell the women who come after me – you can’t have a vaginal delivery because of this and the misinformation would continue to be spread. And what about those women who came to me with similar stories? They would doubt in their ability to have a vaginal birth and the cycle would continue. I was ashamed to admit there was the tiniest doubt forming each time but I was able to go back to my physios who continued to reassure me. Not everyone has that and that’s why I felt it was so important. I can say it to these women until I’m blue in the face, but the reality is it means so much more coming from the experts.

I did climb off my high horse eventually. We discussed another consult a couple of weeks later and agreed it might be a case of postponing should I go early. What struck me about how I felt about all of this in the days after was I have somehow developed a real passion for doing anything I can to help women in my position. I don’t mean in the way that my physios can obviously help, but let me explain what I mean.

I’d never even heard of diastasis before I was diagnosed with it. I just knew I hated it, whatever ‘it’ was. It started with - how can I get rid of it, what do I need to do? Somewhere along the line I became passionate about not just helping myself, but helping others in the same boat. Diastasis is a passion of my physios but for me, it’s since become: what can I do to help? I have truly been blown away by all the support and messages. I have had messages from physios who have said what sharing my journey has done for them and their patients. It has given women hope and realistic expectations. That has truly been the most rewarding thing and I can’t honestly put in to words the feeling of knowing I have been able to help someone else, even indirectly and in the smallest of ways. That is why I have continued to share my journey, no matter how difficult it has been. I only took some space from sharing in the lead up to the consultant review and what that review found as I knew I would need to focus on my upcoming labour and birth.

Little did I know how much focus I would need…

[annwinter94]

How To Save My 20 Year Marriage All Time Best Cool Tips

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Save Marriage For Children

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How To Avoid Getting Served Divorce Papers

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[adriana-bishop-alb-blog]

EZ Battery Reconditioning Review - DON'T BUY IT Until You See This

15 Amp Battery Charger With 40 Amp Engine Start

Hybrid battery reconditioning has made factors simpler in much more ways than one. If you make a business out of it you need to get far more tools so you can recondition far more batteries at a single time. It is very easily paid for itself by bringing 3 batteries of mine back from the dead. Examining the sort of batteries before making their acquire is a essential point of this technique and this would let every user to save some money and avoid making unnecessary buy. http://rcrddeals.com/ez-battery-reconditioning-guide-review/

People who recondition their batteries they knew that EZ Battery Reconditioning Remedy is the greatest one. Let the public know that when they throw away their batteries, it sits in landfills, seeps chemical compounds into our soil, and inevitably the chemicals run into our waterways.

With every battery costing a minimum of one hundred dollars or much more, there's no doubt that the EZ Battery Reconditioning program will help stretch your pocketbook further. EZ Battery Reconditioning is a tailor-made systematic answer for injecting new life into dead batteries. http://ezbatteryreconditioning.rcrddeals.com/

This is not a quick term improvement after your batteries have been recovered by leaving the unit attached it will continue to operate, substantially extending the life of your batteries by keeping them in top condition. The chemical reactions that shop and release electrical energy within the battery also dissolve the lead in the plates, and there is no way to rejuvenate that.

This is intended to extend the life of the battery, not replace them forever. You can extend the life of your battery by generating confident it stays fully charged and avoiding fast charging. With out good speak to voltage can be lacking or inconsistent with the outcome getting decreased power in starting or operating your vehicle.

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When I see a difficulty, I try to feel about it. I do have many most likely worked out batteries in my RV and boat. EZ Battery Reconditioning is a digital package of data. The battery is OEM and first use was 8-2004 so it is 5 years old, but that still doesn't explain why the system to recondition stopped working.

With every cycle the battery will achieve usable energy until it is totally charged. Most likely a single of the most frustrating parts about camping for me is when I have to constantly replace batteries. Bevan - The MX2 is described in an MSDS as 5% cadmium sulfate.

A lot of battery organizations now have rechargeable” batteries and the gear to recharge these batteries. They make sealed lead acid batteries that are excellent for any alarm of fire program battery. EZ Battery Reconditioning program is undoubtedly worth having a appear at. It is not without it's downsides as we have observed but the pros far outweigh the disadvantages.

My truck's battery went totally dead about a month ago. An enthusiastic entrepreneur possessing fundamental skill about battery reconditioning can begin this lucrative venture with moderate capital investment. Via battery reconditioning, it is possible to revive the life of a battery.

If so I guess I can rule that out, since I have scarcely used this battery to extract energy. Because it can not be recharged, it is considered a dead battery and simply discarded. The battery separators produced by the organization in question had been created of all-natural rubber.

They will just want their battery operating again, preferably close to its former capacity. Rod Rowan - You appear to be saying that, since 1972, you have been putting the active material, that separates out of the plates by means of starting, back into the plates.

Reconditioning rundown batteries can make them work longer. They mentioned the greater voltage is needed when additives are place in. Hello! Because the battery loads in hybrid automobiles are constructed to last, it isn't a concern. John - It would appear the prior owner gave the very tired and virtually worn out batteries an overcharge to give the cart at least some power to persuade an individual to acquire.

You can be sure that you are going to be able to recondition your Battery nowadays with small essential gear and supplies. Granted there is space among the bottom of the case and active plates but this is a widespread condition with older batteries. What tends to make EZ Battery Reconditioning so exclusive is that it walks customers by means of the steps to recharge numerous battery sorts.

This device is really simple to use and does not call for any input from the user. The most pricey piece of kit is the computerized battery analyzer, at about $130. They are effective, Used to be maintainable, like yours, and had straightforward components. In the course of the past two years, I used a trickle charge throughout the winter to insure the batteries would not freeze.

Good for a enhance, but negative for the innards of the battery. Refill the six cells and charge the battery for 5H. in initial hour. You will be able to view our battery reconditioning guides on your sensible phone or tablet. When the battery is getting recharged the method is reversed.

And with Frank's guide, you are going to know exactly how to do every little thing to produce your personal lucrative battery organization! Of course they wear out and the walls of the cells will collapse, a new battery will also put on out. What most people never know is that 75% of lead acid batteries fail since of sulphate build up on the cells, not because they are worn out.

We have offered you with a comprehensive battery reconditioning treatment that you can go by means of. New owners of EVc reconditioning equipment get a complementary five-hour EZtime ticket. Battery cures that A promise the planet B take their money C do practically nothing. I consider my father knew about this as he always had a container of epsom salts in the garage.

[tangtang7843-blog]

Brad Branson – Brad´s Lifestyle Academy 2.0 Brad Branson – Brad´s Life-style Academy 2.0 How’s Life? Take into consideration the areas that matter probably the most: Your Intercourse Life Are you relationship the kind of girls that you simply’re most drawn to? Your Feelings Do you get up CHARGED and excited to start out your day? Your Well being Do you want how your physique seems?  How about your vitality ranges? Your Freedom Do you've gotten sufficient free time to do no matter you need, everytime you wish to? Your Funds Are you proud of the amount of cash you’re making? Your Pals Do you've gotten an superior group of like-minded buddies to encourage and inspire you?   For Most Of My Life… The Reply Was NO! I spent most of my 20′s misplaced and confused I used to be caught in a relationship for YEARS as a result of I didn’t assume I might discover a higher lady I used to be residing paycheck to paycheck shopping for silly issues I couldn’t afford I hated my day job and had no thought the way to discover a careerI’d truly take pleasure in And I let different individuals management my future, doing what “society” thought was proper as a result of I didn’t know the way to assume for myself   And This. Modified. Every part From “Chode” to Champ “Fortunately” issues acquired so unhealthy my girlfriend dumped me,and I went on-line to learn the way to get one other girlfriend. I stumbled onto the “Success with Girls” trade and was shocked to search out companies that had been educating guys the way to decide up chicks… And as soon as I spotted which you can truly LEARN the way to get good with women, I dove in head first! I attended each seminar, learn each e book, and began going out continuous to speak up women. Rejections changed into cellphone numbers…  Cellphone numbers changed into “buddies with advantages…” And after just a few years, my outcomes with girls had been so good… That the highest firm within the trade requested me to start out educating for them!   Introducing: A 9 Week Whole Immersion Program Designed To “Rewire Your Mind” Providing you with the readability and course to grasp your: Relationship Life, Funds, Profession, Well being, Feelings, and Freedom… Quicker than you ever thought doable… Right here’s What You Get: The LSA Core Weekly Video Coaching Try a few of what you’ll study every week: REDISCOVER YOUR VALUES – Be taught EXACTLY why you make choices, and the way to begin making higher ones to stay by YOUR values as a substitute of society’s, your dad or mum’s, or your pal’s POSITIVE NEGATIVITY

 – Uncover what holds you again from being happier and extra fulfilled (You’ll see why most individuals are DEAD WRONG about how they view their unhealthy feelings) YOUR PURPOSE EXPOSED – 

Take away the psychological litter and uncover the deeper that means to your life, and discover ways to immediately rework any fears of failure into your biggest asset DRIVEN BY VISION

 – Really feel drawn in direction of your targets like a magnet, figuring out with confidence that you simply’re making the suitable strikes in life CRYSTAL CLEAR CLARITY – 

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IMPULSIVE SPENDING STOPPER – Take your feelings out of the equation and cease shopping for CRAP that you simply don’t want (You have already got the cash to do all the things you need in life, you simply don’t know the way to use it) BAILOUT FUND – Begin constructing your monetary future TODAY, and use “Historic Knowledge” to do it the suitable method (That superior life-style is nearer than you assume!) YOU 2.0 – Improve your self-image to really feel deserving of one of the best issues in life… After which go get them! 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(The very best half is individuals WANT you to do that!) JET SETTING ON A BUDGET – Journey the world like a BOSS (at a fraction of the price) whereas RAMPING UP your sport, health, and enterprise targets (You don’t need to fall off your routine whenever you’re on the street!) FIRST CLASS NINJA – Use insider secrets and techniques from a Swiss airline pilot to fly top notch on a budget and get invited into unique elite member areas for FREE WORLDWIDE ROCKSTAR – Be taught the “secret handshake” to trick bouncers, waiters, and promoters into WANTING you to come back to their membership or restaurant, and be part of the lifetime of the “Social Elite” THE PERFECTION CHALLENGE – Get a ripped physique on the street whereas barely spending any time within the fitness center. (You'll be able to even do that at house and get in BETTER form than you ever thought doable) PROLIFIC BIBLIOPHILE – WARNING! You is likely to be studying books the “Flawed Approach.” Learn the way to learn quicker, bear in mind extra, and use studying as a instrument to sharpen your thoughts INFORMATION OVERLOAD – Cease being influenced by social conditioning, and get your info from the suitable locations (You’ll be amazed at how a lot mainstream media has negatively impacted your life!)   LADDER OF SUCCESS – Really feel nice on a regular basis figuring out WITHOUT A DOUBT that your small victories will result in large rewards (No extra brief time period ache for long run achieve…  It’s simply ALL good ALL the time!) COMPETITIVE ACTION – Keep away from the refined entice EVERY profitable particular person makes and create a really perfect surroundings that actually “embarrasses you,” in a great way, to achieve a good greater degree of success COMPLEX CONTRIBUTION – Mannequin Warren Buffet and Invoice Gates to create ACCURATE targets a long time away… Additionally discover out why they gave away their BILLIONS OF DOLLARS…  And why you'll too SELF MASTERY – Develop MASSIVE willpower, take management of your thoughts, and luxuriate in “pushing by way of the ache” (No extra excuses, no extra procrastination, simply getting sh** completed and loving it the entire time!) DREAM DESTROYER – Cease stressing out and doubting your desires, know precisely when to keep it up and when to throw within the towel (You’ll kick your self whenever you see the place you’ve made this error previously) EGREGIA CUM LAUDE – Catapult past your early successes inside The LSA to realize much more after this system…  And get a instrument to be sure to hold the habits that made all of it occur SalesPage (extra data) Brad Branson – Brad´s Life-style Academy 2.Zero Contents: PDF´s, Movies, Bonuses DownloadWelcome visitor, obtain hyperlinks are right here.MEMBERS ONLY So as to see all obtain hyperlinks and hidden content material it's a must to be our member. Share This Story, Select Your Platform! [ihc-hide-content ihc_mb_type="show" ihc_mb_who="2,3" ihc_mb_template="1" ] If broken links, please contact me via email or facebook to us to fix it [/ihc-hide-content] https://mmomem.com/brad-branson-brads-lifestyle-academy-2-0/?feed_id=973&_unique_id=5ddcf2c6177a1 #bradbranson #brad´slifestyleacademy2.0