#lets all make sure to support miss courtney as well!

[goosetheluce]

I saw that headcanon for Total Drama where Reader was an old childhood friend of Heather and thought it was absolutely adorable. Can we get one for Courtney and/or Gwen as well?

thanks for the request <3 i looove courtney but i feel like your backstory with her would be similar to heather's. also this was skimmed, sorry for any errors! here's the previous heather version for new readers :)

gwen x gn!reader: reunited childhood friends hc

gwen was never exactly NOT popular.

in fact, she was the one who pushed others away. she had seen enough movies (and the lives of her peers) too many times to fall victim to an oversized social circle.

treading carefully, she only kept a mere few in her school life. but of course, when you came along, gwen couldn't shut you out.

you just appeared in school one day, earning a few whispers here and there and falling naturally into the classroom environment. it seemed this wasn't the first (or last) time you transferred.

you were quiet, mostly, listening to class lectures and jotting down notes in your designated grade 7 chemistry notebook.

someone even called you a weirdo at the table gwen was sitting at.

gwen likes weirdos, even if they aren't really weirdos at all.

the thing about you that caught gwen's eye was your expressiveness. sure, you didn't talk much, but your face spoke for you.

like, when someone made a fool of themselves to impress the class, your lips curled with annoyance and your eyes rolled.

or maybe when the teacher fumbled her words and said something inappropriate, your shoulders relaxed a bit and you let a small grin stretch across your lips.

as gwen observed you across class, missing half of the presentations every day, she decided to make a move at lunch.

after cautious introductions that gradually shifted into music debates and ugly laughs, gwen let you in through the cracks of her stone walls.

her favorite part about the conversation was the way you didn't make a big deal about her appearance. her face was ghostly pale, and her deep bluish-green hair matched her black eyes wonderfully. any other person would have gawked, said she looked sick or like a ghost.

she began to think that if anything, you'd understand that was (part of) the point of her appearance in the first place.

as the school year sped along, you and gwen ended up merging your lives. she lived in the apartment complex across the road from your neighborhood, so she was only a bike ride away. stargazing was her favorite night activity, so you guys were constantly laying down in your background.

her place wasn't the greatest, considering her mom was newly single with two kids. her dad left and moved across the state, paying child support instead of actually visiting. but they made do.

she'd have problems with her family not accepting her, both her gothic nature and her eccentric personality and beliefs; but the love in the house was always there. gwen was bold and clear with what she wanted, and you liked that about her.

she was a breath of fresh air.of course, she could only think the same of you. you didn't stare at her, you gazed. you didn't hear her, you listened. you weren't nice to her, you were kind. you weren't snarky, you were clever.

a treasure like you can only mean friendship to her for so long.

friendly feelings only lasted a few weeks.

but she's gwen, so she didn't change anything after the afternoon she realized she loved you when she saw you in the clouds where her brother saw a tree.

she stayed that way, frozen in time while you packed your bags for the third year in a row to move. just like her dad.

so you left town, but you didn't really leave town because you still haunted gwen every night she stayed up until 2 in the morning, squinting her eyes shut as they stung with tears.

she'd lost the one person who knew everything she was going through.

but life goes on, and gwen is a friend of the dark, so she let the last bittersweet remnants of you ebb away from her mind and instead turned into her own thoughts once more.

high school was hard; not just the math but the people, too. she loved again, but never as hard as she loved you. sometimes she wondered if you were struggling the same way.

then suddenly, she didn't have to wonder anymore, because there you were on this stupid fucking show. she'd only auditioned to try to bring some money back home. she didn't sign up to see her first heartbreak, even if it wasn't your fault.

she wasn't going to ice you out, but she'd be lying if she said it wouldn't be awkward for her. she was wrong, though; the coldness melted instantly the second she heard your laugh.

it wasn't hard for you to recognize her. she had grown quite a bit taller and her face had sharpened with maturity, but her eyes were the same hypnotizing black depths. she had ditched her shoulder-length hair for a blunt bob. it suited her.

after the camp had settled down, you and gwen began to reconnect. her language was even fouler than you remembered; it was a relief to see her fundamentals hadn't changed. you even told her this, and for a second it looked like some color flushed her face. just for once.

the two of you discussed past relationships, and to your surprise she mentioned only two people. you suddenly regretted moving on and leaving the love you had for her to die.

yet you realized: your love had never been dead. just hibernating.

you wondered if you ever had a place in her heart the same way her exes had been.

"(y/n), remember when we used to stargaze in your backyard?" she asked one night after the marshmallow ceremony. you had narrowly avoided elimination this week. gwen thought this was as good a time as ever to make her move.

"yeah, how could i forget? you're such an astrology geek that you forced me to memorize constellations," you teased, looking up at the sky and remembering the cool grass beneath your thighs.

"shut up, you had fun."

"i did," you smiled at her, wondering if she was aware of the tangible atmosphere between you two. "why do you ask?"

"sometimes, before i came onto the show, i would watch the stars and wonder if you were doing the same," she whispered, stripping her gaze away to look at you.

your cheeks warmed hotter than the sticky night air as your eyes locked. "i did," you murmured back. "i never really got you out of my head, gwen."

she simply smiled, her deep blue lipstick darker than the inky clouds. your hands brushed, then intertwined.

she leaned on your shoulder, and internally you swore you'd never lose her again as both of your heads craned back upward at the cosmos.

you didn't even care to think what this made the two of you.

even the bears left you both alone that night.

[hournites]

beth gets her new suit, and rick tells her he really likes it (with heart eyes lol), yolanda and courtney notice and tease him about it when they realize his crush. post this past season my headcanon is that rick's crush on beth becomes supremely obvious to everyone but beth hehe

Flirting in Fashion

With the Chapels added to the fold, Beth offered to host some JSA meetings at her house. Barbara, thrilled with not having to deep-vacuum the living room of crumbs after brainstorming sessions or worry about broken vases from indoor incidents, championed the new JSA parental tag-team system. The Montez family were still adjusting to, well, everything, but Yolanda felt confident she wasn't getting shipped off to an out-of-state boarding school like her worst fears, so all-in-all, everything felt like a win.

Rick couldn't deny being accepted with open arms to Beth's family didn't give him whiplash, but the longer he pushed against the invitation to come after school and weekends or staying for dinner, the more he felt like they honestly missed him when he declined. He found Bridget warm and thoughtful and James, practical and supportive. Sooner than later, Rick was looking forward to spending time at the Chapel house. Not just because of Beth, but for her whole family.

Yolanda is at the door when Rick knocks at the front, letting him in before he can ask who else made it. Pat and James are talking about whether or not potato salad is a crime of a dish in the kitchen, and Courtney is draped across the vintage ottoman, texting like a madwoman.

But it's Beth that Rick's eyes instantly draw to, hovering around an odd-standing figure covered with a blanket in the living room.

"What's happening?" he asks Yolanda as he drops his bag by the door, expecting a run-down. There's no emergency or detailed agenda. There's Sylvester's brain that they need to plan for a rescue, but where a hypothetical floating brain could be hiding is still yet to be figured out. Jakeem has noped out of any tunnel exploring until his gorilla night-terrors end and Artemis is also refusing to go down there for understandable reasons and it's still unclear if she's actually on the team.

Bridget has chimed in that having a medical plan for what to do with the brain depends on the condition they find it in, which requires some more thinking in itself. These are mitigation strategies Rick's never thought of, but he supposes this is partly why they're having these types of meetings here at Beth's house. Though what any of these may have to do with a random statue jiving with the retro Chapel décor, he has no idea.

She shrugs at him. "I'm not sure. Beth says we were waiting for you before making some announcement."

"Announcement?"

Yolanda shrugs again, hands up in the air. "I'm just telling you what I know." She glances at Courtney and shakes her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Do you mind telling her that leaving Cameron 60 texts without a single one back isn't a good look?"

Rick snorts. "Yeah, I'm not doing that. You know who could, though?"

Yolanda glares at him like she knows exactly who popped into his mind. Rick smirks and she rolls her eyes. "Fine," she grumbles under her breath, making her way to the ottoman. "I'll do it myself."

Beth is so engrossed with the statue thing that she doesn't even notice him behind her. Rick taps the shoulder of her cow-print bomber jacket. "Should I be worried? It looks like Frankenstein is under there."

She shoots him a look over her shoulder, stuffing school bus yellow measuring tape into her pocket. "You mean Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein is the human that creates him, but no, this isn't of any mad-science concern."

"Then what is it? I've never seen it around."

Beth turns around and crosses her arms. "It's not ready yet."

"Is this part of the so-called announcement you have?"

Beth smiles. "Maybe."

"Alright!" Pat nods at the group assembled around. "The boys have a field trip to the honeycomb museum and Dr. Chapel is stuck in a surgery, apparently, but she gave us the go ahead to get right into business--Courtney put your phone down."

Yolanda sticks her palm out and Courtney begrudgingly drops her iPhone into her hand. Everyone else finds some seats on the couch or the carpeted floor.

Pat gestures to James Chapel, who takes the lead to start the meeting.

"Hello folks, glad to see you all here." He stands beside Beth, who is still fussing with the blanket covering the statue thing. "As some of you may or may not know, Beth's mother and I have been working very hard to provide Beth with an upgraded suit. We've decided to use this opportunity for some feedback before we go ahead with ordering it from one of my clients that specializes in this wear."

"It's just a prototype," Beth adds in, clearly nervous. "So anything can be changed. I get final say, of course, but don't be afraid to be critical."

Courtney sits up a bit straighter. "What's going to happen to your old suit? I liked it!"

Yolanda wrinkles her nose. "Court, the gloves are like five times bigger than her hands."

Rick backs her up. "I liked it too, but I think we can all agree that it doesn't really match Beth's style?"

"Oh, I like Chuck's a lot, don't get me wrong! But since combat mode was only a prototype, it isn't designed to be fully functional for all fighting styles, and that could be a bit of a problem." Beth looks at Courtney. "It's also not the cutest. You turned Sylvester's suit into a crop top. Why can't I?"

Rick leans forward, his eyes wide. "You want your suit to be a crop top?"

Yolanda covered her mouth with her hand to hide another undignified snort.

Beth raises an eyebrow at Rick with an amused smile. "No... I meant, why can't I make my suit my own?"

"Our own," James cuts in, a tad too proud. Bath pats his back. "Okay, dad. Our own."

"Well!" He urged her to pull the cover off what Rick now understands is a mannequin. "Go on!"

Beth bites her lip and bounces on her feet, then pulls the cover off with a flourish. "What do you think?"

Courtney and Yolanda both hop to their feet, hyping it up immediately.

"Woah!" Courtney says. "It looks badass!"

"Beth you're going to rock this, oh my gosh." Yolanda reaches out to touch one of the sleeves.

Cindy, slipping into the room fashionably late, stands at the door with a Starbucks in hand. "Huh," she says, tilting her head at the costume. "Not bad, Chapel."

Rick stays seated as the girls gush and Pat starts analyzing it aloud from his experience. He's not sure what he was expecting but this is far from the suit upgrade he had in mind. For one thing, it is isn't earth-toned and bulky anymore. The burgundy is gone from the jacket, replaced with a sleek yellow breast plate that goes up to the neck. The gloves are no longer suede tan, either, but the same new honey-mustard colour with zippers. The breast plate sits over a tunic, complementing the primary colour with black sleeves and legging type pants that are tucked into boots that end at the mid-calf. A thin stripped black belt criss-crosses over the hips with an emerald Dr. Mid-Nite crescent moon emblem in the middle, matching another jewel-toned brooch right where the suit ends at her neck. The green cape is brighter, silkier, repurposed to flair out around the waist like an outer skirt, hiding more pockets for the fanny pack Beth used to wear. But the most notable difference is the cowl. Or the lack of one. At the top of the mannequin stand sits the goggles around the eyes and an emerald head band with the option of a hood draped against the back.

Beth says, "I'm not sure about the belt. It might be a bit unnecessary, tough to get on and off, and I do really miss the burgundy, but maybe I'll just add that to the boots." She turns to Rick, who still hasn't said a word. All he can think about is how similar the suit looks like his cape, and then he can't help wondering what his cape would look like, trimmed short to match her costume.

He clears his throat when Yolanda nudges his shoulder, stammering out, "You designed this?"

"Why, is it tacky?" Beth and Courtney both look back at him, Beth biting her nail with concern.

"No! No, it looks great."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's really...It suits you. Try it on."

Beth glances between Rick and her friends, a little put on the spot. "Right now?"

"I mean," Rick adds quickly, feeling embarrassed at the sudden attention everyone in the room is giving him, "You won't know how easy it is to get into until you do, right?"

Pat shoots him a thumbs up. "Great thinking, Rick. We won't know for sure of any potential design flaws until we see it in action."

Beth smiles, glancing at her dad to see if that's okay. James says sure, and then they are hauling the mannequin upstairs to Beth's room for her to get changed.

"Okay," Courtney announces to the room, like she's just witnessed the greatest project runway entry ever. "I totally see where Beth was coming from. Her other costume was old. This one is hot!"

"It's not as hot as mine," Cindy quips, taking another sip of her drink.

Yolanda sizes her up, a hand on her hip. "At least Beth's dad actually cares about her to make the suit and not use it as a murder graduation present."

"Hey, now." Pat steps between the two, ending any possibility of a cat fight.

"Beth always looked good," Rick argues. "Don't make it sound like she looked bad before."

"We're not saying that." Yolanda rolls her eyes. "We're just voicing that this one is clearly better."

Cindy is still staring Yolanda down when she says, "This was a bad idea. If you're all fine sitting here watching Hourman drool over Dr. Mid-Nite's couple costume design workshop, that's your prerogative. I have better things to do." She sets her travel cup down on the coffee table to leave. "Miss me or don't, I guess."

Rick's palms begin to prick with sweat. He wipes them against his pants hastily, adamant to clear the air. "What is she even talking about? All I said is that it suited her?"

Courtney laughs.

He frowns. It feels like she's laughing at him for some inside joke he doesn't get. "Court--"

"Okay!" Beth's voice floats from upstairs, quieting them all. "Now remember that the material is flimsy because it's not the real stuff yet!"

"Enough with the excuses, it's going to look good. Get your ass down here!" Yolanda calls up the stairs. James belly-laughs, and Rick cracks an excited smile, leaning forward in anticipation of the reveal.

She emerges at the front of the living room, a gloved hand against the doorway. "Did someone call the doctor?" She steps in, flashing a pose.

Courtney's jaw drops. "Shut up, it's perfect."

Beth twirls around and flexes her arms out, testing the elasticity of the sleeves.

"I have no notes," Yolanda agrees.

The hood is down and she's not wearing her goggles, just sporting the hairband. Her hair stands out, bold and beautiful, and it is as Rick makes the observation that he pin points what makes the suit so great. She's not camouflaged into the background. There's no way she'll be lost behind the white, blues and purples of the Wildcat, Stargirl and Hourman suits. Her shoulders roll back with a confidence as she moves around, and the verve of her hair brings life to Dr. Mid-Nite that the other costume confines, all emphasizing that she's never been a static role. The entire look oozes Beth's personality, and Rick can't stop smiling.

Yolanda snaps a few pictures on her phone so that Bridget and Barbara won't miss out.

"Is it comfortable? Can you sit in it?" Rick asks her, remembering what's important. "I really like it," he adds.

She nods, grinning. "The belt is fine. It needs to be adjusted a bit, but if we're in a pinch, I can ditch it."

"Or I can help!" he offers.

"Thanks." Beth appears genuinely touched. "That's sweet, Rick."

Yolanda and Courtney share another look.

Pat starts bringing up questions about the suit's supposed thermo controls and what other smart tech Beth's dad has planned as added features in the suit. Beth removes the breast plate, demonstrating how it works to protect her vital organs. "Mom thought it would be helpful in light of the Artemis arrow thing, or if I'm bending down helping someone medically so I'm protected from the back."

Rick takes it from her, inspecting it eagerly. "How does it come on and off so quick?"

"It's magnet tech," Beth supplies. Rick hands it back and Beth passes it along to an interested Courtney.

"This is some futuristic gladiator shit," she says, giving it a curious shake.

"Court."

"Gladiator stuff."

"I think it's best to get it off before I accidentally rip something." Beth turns around in front of Rick. "Do you mind unzipping the back?"

Rick tugs on the zipper, it's jerky and requires him to press his hand against the small of her back so to not get the mouth of the zipper stuck in the fabric. "Sorry," he mutters as an unknown feeling rises to his chest. Once the task is done, he steps away and Beth rushes back upstairs. Her dad's phone rings, and he excuses himself out the door to take the call on the porch.

Pat says, "I think this was a real productive session."

The teens nod and he checks the clock. "Court, I'm going to head back home to start cooking dinner. Are you going to come with me or hitch a ride with Rick?"

"I can't. I'm staying here for dinner," Rick pipes up. He's pretty certain that there might be a suit fitting encore when Bridget gets home and he doesn't want to miss that.

Yolanda eyeballs him. "Courtney can walk with me, Pat."

"Alrighty." Pat salutes. "See you at home, Court."

"Cindy is right, you know." Courtney sidles up to Rick, sitting next to him on the couch. "You like her. We're talking suuu-per mega crush."

"You jumped at the chance at helping her get ready," Yolanda teases. "Scoring all the brownie points you can get."

"That's called being nice!"

"There's being nice and then there's the heart eyes motherfucker gif face." Courtney pulls it up on her phone, shaking her screen at him.

He pushes her arm out of his face. "I don't look like that."

But then Yolanda and Courtney are giving him twin Thor Ragnarok meme squinty eyes and he's suddenly seriously concerned.

"I looked like that?!"

Rick groans, falling back against the couch and burying his face with one of the throw pillows. "Whatever."

"There there." Courtney pats his knee. "It's not your fault that deep down you're a lover not a fighter." She cracks up before the ridiculous sentence is even out of her mouth. Rick wants to drive the Mustang into a ditch.

"It could be worse." Yolanda flips a braid over her shoulder. "You could be crushing on Cindy."

"You mean like Jakeem?"

"He's not over that?" Yolanda purses her lips. "Poor kid."

"I don't know..." Courtney says. "You don't think maybe one day when he's older, like, much, much older... She might give him a chance?"

"Not a chance in hell."

"Absolutely not."

"What are we talking about?" Beth asks, stepping into the room in her previous outfit.

Yolanda looks at Court who looks at Rick. He sits up, attempting to look somewhat normal. "Uh. Jakeem's crush on Cindy."

"Why? I thought that was old news."

They all look at Rick.

"Uh..." He stalls. "Just because."

"He finds it relatable," Courtney coughs under her breath, but thankfully Beth doesn't hear.

James walks in then, pocketing his phone and Rick pivots the conversation as smoothly as he can manage, "Mr. Chapel, don't you think Jakeem could use a costume too? All he has is a hoodie. That pen's going to get lost."

Her dad lights up. "Great idea, son. Bridget's getting pizza. Let's talk concepts at dinner, are you girls staying too?"

Yolanda hauls Courtney off the couch just before she says yes, saving Rick from her meddling and general messy.

"Sorry Mr. Chapel, we've got to head home right away."

"We do?" Courtney says as Yolanda drags her by the elbow. "But Pat said--"

"Bye, Rick! Awesome suit, Beth. Thanks Mr. C!"

Beth's dad waves at the girls with a chuckle. "You two get home safe now."

"We will!"

Beth turns to Rick after tossing Cindy's lipgloss stained cup into the trash. "Not so Frankenstein's monster after all, right?"

He blushes when his stomach flips at her pleased smile. "Not at all." And screw him, but Rick immediately thinks Beth would rock the costume for Frankenstein's bride.

[whatupdoecourt]

have you ever been mad at God before?

i come from a very old school baptist family. “don’t question God.” i never really understood that. so i took it upon myself to research. no where in the bible does it even state that it is wrong or a sin to question God. we are flawed beings, made in the image of God. we will have questions, and plenty. Job questioned God, Abraham, and even Jesus.

God is our creator. however, we have our co-creators, our parents as well. just as we have a relationship with our parents we have one with God. i’m sure everyone has gotten angry at their parents before. maybe they wouldn’t let you go somewhere or do something that you really wanted to do. i believe this can be the same with God.

let me explain. as many may know, i lost my mother in march of 2018, 2 weeks before my birthday. my mother was first diagnosed with stage 3, almost stage 4 breast cancer in 2006. i was 9 years old and at the time my dad was in prison so it was a sensitive time for me. my family is extremely supportive and one thing we do best for sure is PRAY. together, apart, miles away, it doesn’t matter. we had “miraculous faith.” she beat cancer!

fast forward to 2016. my mommy came to me and told me something wasn’t right. you know your body, you know? i’m older now though, 20 years old. my dad has been out of prison for a while. me and my mom have been through sooo much together. i always felt like i had to be strong. it always been me and her. a team. she was my very best friend. when she told me something wasn’t right, she didn’t cry. so i didn’t either.

while on our way to the doctor’s appointment that changed our lives forever i was nervous, but y’all my faith that God would heal her was out of this world. i couldn’t fold now. the doctor that had to bare the bad news, it was his first day. i really wish i could remember all that i said to him, but it wasn’t my best moment. i wasn’t mean at all. but i began to denigrate the practice and blamed them. “why waste her time with all these tests if you guys couldn’t catch THIS?” he just looked at me with the most saddened expression. he left out and i hugged my mommy so tight. “i can’t lose you, mommy!” she hugged me so hard back and said “you won’t, baby.”

2017 my mommy had us all take christmas pictures. she knew. her health was declining, she was losing weight. i was in school, attending wayne state university. skipping class, because i wasn’t missing any of her appointments. i was my mom’s care giver. i chose to, i wanted to, i needed to. the amount of times we had to go to the emergency room. 3am, 5am, it didn’t matter the time of the day. it didn’t matter where i was or what i was doing. everything stopped for her. we became so close with the staff at the hospital because we were there so often. we had been in almost every hospital room on the oncology floor. and i stayed there with her every time. bringing a duffle to leave for work or class because i wasn’t missing anything. i couldn’t.

beginning of march 2018, we had to make a visit to the emergency room. this visit was different though. she was taking a different treatment. my mom was so perfect to me. she was such a selfless person that when her treatments were no longer working she agreed to try clinical trials to be a help to OTHERS. so this last treatment she had didn’t go so well. it was my auntie (i call her pat pat) and i with my mom this time. maybe 20 minutes into my mom’s treatment she began to act differently. she was sooo out of it, you guys. she forgot who i was for a moment. that broke me. but i didn’t have time to be sad. i had to take care of my mom. my aunt went back home for a moment, and it was just my mom and i in the emergency. my mom is admitted of course. i’m there by her side, not leaving her for a second. she’s back to herself and i told her everything that happened and how she lost her memory. my mom began to thank me, “i don’t know how i’ll ever repay you, courtney.” i told her i’d do it over and over again if i was given the chance. in every lifetime.

we then go back home. and she began to break down for the first time ever. she told me that she couldn’t keep doing this to me and that she didn’t want to take the treatment anymore. i didn’t want her to take the treatment either. but i wasn’t giving up. i still knew that she could be healed. i began to look up herbs that could cure cancer and that could potentially get her to great health. i was so desperate i contacted a cancer research facility in arizona. (CTCA)

my family came from all different states and stayed with us to help. first it was my auntie bev, she came from atlanta, ga. she came home pretty often to help. i don’t think she knew exactly what to expect this time though. then it was my great uncle, my uncle jr (lou lou’s brother) he came from bainbridge ga, and packed enough clothes to stay a month. i’m forever grateful. they literally put their life on hold and said they’d stay for as long as we needed them.

my mom began to go out of it again. this time she had an appointment with her oncologist. me, my mom, lou lou, and my aunt bev all drove to the appointment. “i would consider starting at home hospice care.” that did it for me. for the first time in a long time, i lost it. i couldn’t be strong anymore. i ran out of the room, as my family kept yelling after me i just ran. didn’t even know where i was running to. mind you, i’m in the hospital. people were trying to stop me, asking me if i was okay, but i didn’t stop running until i hit a dead end. i remember calling one of my best friends, jay. i just called her crying she couldn’t even understand me.

this is where things started to set in for me. i started to feel so silly. silly for being so delusional. if i had been more realistic maybe i could’ve prepared myself better. i remember driving home after that appointment and driving so insane LOL. but my aunt and grandma didn’t say anything to me, even though they maybe should’ve 💀

things happened very fast. since i am my mom’s only child and like i said before my mom and i, we were a team. if she didn’t get it done, i did, and vice versa. so this entire process was all handled by me. not because i didn’t have the support, i think my family just knew that i wouldn’t let them step in too much anyway. hospice came out, and i had to sign papers basically signing my mother’s life away. what a feeling. indescribable.

my mommy began to sleep a lot. not talking at all. i liked to sit with her a lot in her room. to cry, talk, lay with her, kiss her, whatever i felt like i needed to do because i just wasn’t ready to let her go. one day in particular, i was crying so hard so so hard. “why are you crying?” i looked up at her and said “because i love you so much.” “i love you too, baby.” those were the first and last words i heard her speak for a while.

my mom wasn’t on hospice long. my family all came over one day and while some were leaving out that night, you could hear her force herself to say “love you guys.” my mommy was a fighter. next morning on march 15th 2018, my aunt called me down because my mom’s eyes were opened. i saw my grandfather (my mom’s father/ lou lou’s husband) pass before and i know what that expression looks like. i was listening to my mom take her last breath. i went into another room and just cried. “she promised she wouldn’t leave me” that’s all i kept saying as my pat pat held me while i cried.

i have asthma but it’s pretty controlled i haven’t had an asthma attack since i was very little. i had 2 that day, on top off multiple panic attacks, a lot of that day is blocked out. i laid with my mommy until the funeral home came and picked up her body. i laid with her so long, i could feel the rigor mortis start to set in. my dad had to pry me off of her when they came. i could hear my nails scraping the walls while being carried away. mistakenly grabbing onto the nurses shirt while trying to get back to my mommy. locking eyes with the her and even seeing her cry confirming that i wasn’t dreaming.

the funeral planning started. now sometimes trauma can very very tricky. i knew that i was planning a funeral, i knew it was for my mommy, but it was distracting me for what it was REALLY for if that makes sense. i was keeping myself busy. making sure everything was perfect for her last event on this earth. my mom, lou lou, and i attended (i still do) triumph church. so of course that’s where my mommy’s home-going had to be. pastor kinloch and first lady have always been so kind to us and they were very supportive through this process as well.

i was so distracted by planning the funeral and i wanted it to be that way, so i wouldn’t be so sad. but i was also suppressing a lot while doing so. this caused me to act out in other ways. i walked out of the church meeting room crying because i wanted the funeral at a different location. (drama) argued with the funeral director for no real reason. (DRAMAAA)

the day came where me and lou lou went to view my mother’s body. my mommy didn’t really wear makeup and she had a beauty mark, a mole right on the tip of her nose. i wiped the makeup off of her nose and everything else was perfect. the day of the viewing, i was overwhelmed with love. so many people came out. so many that i didn’t expect to. this meant sooo much to my family and i. i can’t even put it into words.

i dressed my mommy and i in the same shirt for her funeral. hers white, mine black. that day was such a blur to me. recently, i watched lauren london on a podcast, talking about grief. she mentioned how sitting in that front row of a funeral is really a whole different experience. bizarre. there were so many people there to pay their respects. so many friends and family coming to support. i still cry thinking about it. i am truly forever grateful.

when everyone went home, when my “job” was done. i was left to think. i took a hiatus from work and school to take care of my mommy so i really had nothing to do, but to think. that’s when the anger set in. i felt betrayed. had i not been faithful? deserving? if not me, my mom for sure had been. so why weren’t my prayers answered? hadn’t i already been through so much at my young age? how much stronger did i need to be?

i began to pull away from God. i wasn’t praying as much. i shut God out of my life. i was angry. i knew what i was doing, but i didn’t care because i was hurt. as my family would say “BUT GOD.” God’s grace never left me. so to answer my own question, yes. i have been mad at God before. but like my grandmother told me, “you can be mad, just don’t be mad too long.”

[crystalelemental]

One Year Later - Sygna Suit Giovanni

Do you guys remember the hype around this dude?  The absolute insanity that came with two types that barely had coverage, suddenly having a top-tier striker in both, at the same time?  To say nothing of what I believe is the first Personal Passive, which is when the game cheats to let you have more than three by combining them and naming the hybrid after you.  Giovanni's Cunning was a precursor to the 3rd Anniversary nonsense.  I'm sorry, that's like 8 passives, that's way too much, tone it down.  I'm rambling.  Let's talk about the best unit to ever drop in Masters!

YOU FOOL!  I have never said a single nice thing about this guy since he dropped, and I never will!

SS Giovanni is hysterical, because he and Morty dropping in the same month is like the perfect encapsulation of the "Offense is everything" mentality that has this fandom in a chokehold.  When he was datamined, people lost their minds. Ground Shift Mega Kick that will never miss?   Poison Jab with Hit the Gas 5? MAX MOVES?  Finally, we have a competent damage dealer for Ground and Poison, two types that may as well not even exist for all the good their damage dealers did for most people.   To make it better, he's also going to cap his attack instantly, get Sure Crit Next, and has a node on grid to always give Sure Crit Next when he crits.  Infinite guaranteed crit!  It's even better than +3 crit rate! Nothing will ever beat this!  *SST Red looming in the distance*

Yeah, turns out the combination of Hit the Gas and sub-300 speed puts a strain on Gauges.  Who knew?

SS Giovanni is great in CS, because one attack KOs the sides pretty reliably, and the Max Move will truck center.  So long as you have some gauge control and a decent third that doesn't touch anything, Giovanni will kick his way through anything.  In time, he would be graced with the presence of Zones.  Courtney carrying Ground Zone was the obvious big win, but Halloween Iris having Poison Zone was enough to pick him into overdrive.  Sure, her Hyper Beam would outdamage his Poison Jab, but the result was closer than you'd think, and he had a Max Move.  1/5 Iris to support Giovanni was not unreasonable.  Even if you didn't have Zone, Kukui with Leer is often sufficient, being low-cost on gauge, and really fast in his own right.  All you really needed was a speed-buffing support, and you win.

But Gauntlet.  Oooooh my god with Gauntlet.

Gauges are everything in Gauntlet.  This mode is a marathon, and you need the endurance to match it.  Giovanni cannot function without gauges, and while you might think any team with +6 speed is sufficient, they aren't always.  He's that slow.  You also need to be able to take hits.   Nidoking's bulk is pretty bad.  But hey, at least he's got tremendous damage, which will-what's that?  Almost all of his multipliers are for Super-effective damage, so he bounces off the majority of things since nothing's weak to Poison or Ground ever?  Well okay, but he's at least got Steel, which he'll use to-oh Crit Shield turns off his guaranteed crit so he's hard countered unless you sacrifice a crit supporter for him that can also buff speed.  Huh...

Giovanni's needs in Gauntlet are out of this world.  Legitimately, I would try every Gauntlet, and forget each and every time how severe his needs were.  He either got benched, or relied on such heavy flinch RNG to succeed that it was laughable.  And there's no way out!  Sometimes a high-gauge sync pair has a one-bar spam or multiple trainer moves to shift to in order to keep sync cooldown going.  Not Giovanni.  You are stuck if you don't have gauges, which means that flinch strategy was even worse.  There is no saving him.

Unless you're SS Steven.  I feel like it says a lot that the only time I've ever felt comfortable with Giovanni's gauge needs has been with Speed Forme Deoxys. Maximum speed overdrive is the only way to keep Giovanni rolling.  And you wanna know something absolutely deranged?  He still had trouble against Regirock, thanks to the 3-gauge flinch of Iron Head.  Like, what must it be like, being that slow?

The thing is, I usually try to talk about ways that his compositions have changed in this time, or new partners that really shook up his life.   But there aren't any. Units like BP Clemont should have, thanks to the emphasis on defense and Screech utility, but they're way too slow.  HE only really appreciates speed boosting, but Nita only gives the speed while attack is wasted, and is then high-gauge cost herself, and Variety Lyra can boost team speed but debuffs special defense which isn't his thing.  He's gained literally nothing of value in the span of an entire year.  Just two Zone setters for his damage output, and SS Steven as the only one who can handle his gauges reliably.  And call me crazy, but I don't think that's worth it!  Because I can sure talk about things that changed his life otherwise!

Hey Mr. Big Strong Ground Man!  How's it feel that the Ground Zone setter is from Hoenn, and pushes Maxie's damage through the roof, while having better gauge control?  How's it feel to have Cynthia receive a grid expansion that lets her outpace your damage thanks to the boosted sync?  How about a second expansion that lets her be perfectly self-sufficient and lets her DPS now also outpace yours, leaving you slow and offensively outclassed?  How's it feel to know that the Poison Zone setter is stronger than you on the whole?  How's it feel that Emma has perfect crit rate on her buddy move that deals eleventy gajillion damage and also boosts team speed and sometimes just randomly gets Free Moves Next?

SS Giovanni is hysterical.  He has gained zero tools in his life, but had the most predictable gacha outcome of all time.  "Hey, Ground and Poison are really weak, and people really want something to plug that particular hole in their teams."  Cool, send out SS Giovanni, a super powerful dude on both of those types, but make him have serious limitations to consider.  "Okay, then what?" Make a bunch of other options on both types that are just better.  Like, it was so predictable in hindsight, but no one expected it anyway.  Like of course this was going to happen.  Ground started exploding with other options like right after him, including the first Master Fair rerun and Cynthia's apotheosis.  Even Poison got more competent damage dealers, and now have the return of Stall.  SS Giovanni is hardly necessary.  In retrospect, he never truly was to begin with. He was always good, but so lopsided in his skills that unless you needed him for CS, which no one with Cynthia now does, he isn't super useful.  Which just...warms my heart.   That's for Caitlin, asshole.

[claudes-therapy-center]

Hello! I figured I should introduce myself as well! I’m ddemonicpanda (just Panda in the discord), and I’m excited to help out miss Courtney with the blog as well! Like Bambi said, feel free to send us prompts and other requests for things, and we’ll get right on it! Let’s all have a fun time appreciating our favorite Claude von Riegan, okay?

-Mod Panda 🐼

[bluemoondust]

How do you think the pokevillains would handle having a famous darling? I’m thinking she could be a singer songwriter or something with a bunch of fans.

✧Famous!Darling✧ — Pokevillains

cw: fem!reader (no pronouns)

Warning(s): Hints of Fake Death, Stalking, Blackmail, Abuse of Power, Possessive Behavior, Obsessive Behavior, Kidnapping, Slight Infantilization/Belittling

Giovanni: Uh... You kinda died. Sorry folks, your precious little idol has been wiped off the census. Oops. Though, that's only a thought put into the back burner until he goes back to it. Beforehand, the Team Rocket boss gives generous tips to your performances, while grunts attend them to keep a close eye on you. At some point in time, Giovanni will offer more to you (anonymous to the public), just as long as you comply to him fully. If you don't, well, the people will certainly mourn the loss of an important figure as they're none the wiser to your kidnapping. It wouldn't come as a surprise if he decides to ruin your career a bit in between that time so he can make sure you come crawling back to him. However, that last resort comes up if you're extremely stubborn and still refuse.

Maxie: Like Giovanni, he offers you wondrous tips. It's his way of letting you know that he can provide you with so much. It'd be foolish not to accept his offers, especially with how easy one's reputation can be tainted with such fame. Maxie has planned this all out carefully, not wanting to come off too strong yet, but his eyebrow twitches when you reject his offer. You aren't rude about it, but he still finds it... Unappealing. The next best thing it is then. Courtney is better at these thing than he is, especially so with her knack for analysis on people. You'll definitely come back.

Archie: There's a game of tug of war going on in this man's head. On one hand, he's supportive of you since he loves you so much, but on the other he is extremely possessive with how many people fawn over you. Sure, they have absolutely no idea who you are behind closed doors, but he doesn't like the idea of one of them getting too comfortable. Archie can sometimes be impulsive and that leads to him making choices without thinking too much on the consequences. However, it's reassuring to know he has a whole crew to assist in cleaning up the mess.

Cyrus: He cannot fathom why he would fall for you of all people (it can be said for any type of career/position you're in, honestly). You bring out too much unnecessary emotions from people which annoys, but even more so when he catches sight of how much those people adore you. Cyrus assumes at first that you're putting up a front, mostly so he can crush his obsession towards you. Noticing that this method wasn't working, he just goes for kidnapping you. As mentioned in his general hcs, it would mostly be to make sure you take responsibility for what you've done.

Ghetsis: Anger boils within him. He's already had every bit of knowledge he has on you thanks to the Shadow Triad, but ugh, does it greatly piss him off to see the unworthy adore you. It has been mentioned before that Ghetsis will not take too long in kidnapping you, but the amount of time is much shorter with the occupation you have. Given he is a very possessive and selfish yandere who completely believes you are made for him, it is no surprise. The kicker is that when you go missing, he gives a speech to the people about how unfortunate that is; commenting on how you were such a wonderful figure in the industry. The sympathetic words he shares as he gives his condolences are utterly empty.

Lysandre: He basically now provides assets for your career now. Problem solved. All your staff are people from Team Flare, but you wouldn't know unless you looked deeper into it. Your manager? They report everything to Malva. It's so bizarre that all this happened after some frequent meetings with Lysandre, who had always admired your talents. He gives you praise for your work and is always there to greet you when a performance is done. All the grunts make sure none of the fans get too suffocating when speaking to you.

Lusamine: Oh, aren't you the cutest thing she'd ever laid her eyes on! Lusamine adores the work you do and even helps out with your sponsors. She may seem like she's completely okay with all the attention you receive, but deep down she wishes for only her to be able to look at you. It's a shame to watch as you share your radiance to others, but Lusamine is a patient woman. She eventually will have control over everything in your life, including your work. Why would you question her? You really do need to understand that listening to her is more beneficial. Let someone more experienced take the wheel, for you are only just a stumbling Deerling trying to make it in the world.

Guzma: It's a bit of a hassle. One that gets on Guzma's nerves sometimes. Don't get him wrong, he does enjoy seeing your performances—some of the grunts are even fans of you. However, with the rep he has, it will be difficult to get close to you, but it certainly does make the reward all the more sweeter in the end. That is only if he works up the nerve to do anything. Besides his rep, there are more pressing reasons why he hasn't done anything yet. It's even worse when you are a person under the limelight while he stays in the shadows, watching. You always get this feeling you're being watched when you're going home.

Chairman Rose: Similar to Lysandre, except his grunts are constantly checking up on you while the Chairman tries to make time to have dinner with you any chance he can get. It's not that hard with his position. There's some blackmail towards your staff and manager sprinkled in here and there. Oleana can be quite the negotiator as they all comply to the Chairman's "proposition". Now he knows where you'll be and constantly voices out his support for you. After all, he would do so much for you... And you'd give back as much in return, yes? Of course you would, darling.

[morganaspendragonss]

come deliver me back home

@911lonestarangstweek day 5 - n is for...nightmares

title from home by barns courtney

ao3 | 1.2k | hurt/comfort, nightmares, hurt mateo, soft & supportive tarlos

Mateo is dreaming that he’s trapped.

His friends are staring at him from outside, ignoring his pleas as he bangs on the window and begs them to help. The smell of gas invades his nostrils and a candle is burning just feet away, but he can’t move to blow it out. All he can do is call out to his friends and wait for the inevitable.

Fear builds in him as time ticks on, Mateo aware of his every breath.

And then—

And then—

A rushing sound. Heat, searing his skin. And a flash of bright, painful light, before—

He wakes up with a gasp. His heart feels like it’s about to beat out of his chest and his mouth is dry, sweat beading on his skin. Mateo can almost feel the heat of the explosion and the sight of it lingers whenever he closes his eyes, so he knows he’s not going back to sleep again.

It’s the third night in a row that his sleep has been interrupted by nightmares of the explosion, of all the ways things could have gone wrong that night. Mateo’s been able to hide it pretty well so far, and he’s got no intention of letting anyone else in on it if he can help it. With everything Cap’s been dealing with trying to get the station back up and running, plus Mateo knows that TK and Carlos have been struggling ever since the fire at their place, so none of them need him falling apart on them, too.

And he knows he could talk to someone else—Paul, Marjan, maybe even Judd—but he barely sees them anymore. He’s still stuck at the 129, and with the way all their shifts have been lately, it’s becoming harder and harder to find free time to hang out in.

Besides, they all have their own problems. Judd and Grace are preparing for the baby, and Marjan and Paul are… Well, Mateo is sure they’re busy.

And his thing isn’t that important. It’s barely even a thing. He’s fine.

He’s fine.

Mateo reaches out for the glass of water on his nightstand, ignoring the way his hand trembles, only to groan when he finds it empty. For a brief moment, he debates staying in bed, but the mere thought seems to make his thirst worse, so he sighs heavily and throws back the covers, shoving himself to his feet.

His steps are uncoordinated as he stumbles through the darkened house. He rubs his eyes, a huge yawn creeping up on him, which must be why he misses it.

Voices.

Two voices.

Mateo freezes in the entry to the kitchen, stopping short as he finally spots TK sitting on the counter with Carlos standing between his legs. Their foreheads are pressed together and Mateo can hear them talking quietly, and he suddenly feels like an intruder on something he’s definitely not supposed to be witnessing.

Neither of them have seen him yet, so Mateo tries to creep backwards out of the kitchen. He can handle bathroom water for one night if it saves him from this kind of embarrassment.

He’s been living in Cap’s house for a while so Mateo thinks he pretty much has the floor plan down pat. But it’s dark. And he’s tired. And he’s walking backwards.

So he misjudges the number of steps needed to clear the corner, and his heel hits the skirting board. Mateo can’t suppress his cry of pain and shock as he stumbles and falls, sprawling in an undignified heap on the floor.

The whispers still, and Mateo only has a second to commiserate over his situation before the kitchen light clicks on and he suddenly has both TK and Carlos staring down at him.

“Uh. Hey guys,” he mumbles, trying and failing to contain his shame. “Fancy seeing you here.”

“Are you okay?” Carlos asks, a worried frown creasing his brow. TK doesn’t say anything; instead, he just drops to his knees and runs a critical eye down Mateo’s body, clearly searching for any injuries.

Mateo flushes, TK’s gaze sending his embarrassment hurtling to a peak, and he pushes himself upright, almost falling straight back down as he trips over his feet in his hurry. “I’m fine,” he says hurriedly. “I’m great. Don’t worry. I’ll just, uh. I’ll just go, and you guys can get back to, um. Whatever you were doing. Sorry to interrupt.”

He turns to leave but Carlos stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Mateo,” he says softly, and suddenly Mateo understands exactly what TK means by the ‘Carlos cow eyes’.

Because, holy shit. It’s honestly a good job Mateo isn’t a criminal; there’s no way he’d be able to keep his mouth shut with those eyes. As it is, he stutters and stumbles through another deflection before his entire body sags, Carlos’s ridiculously empathetic gaze rendering his tongue useless.

Carlos smiles encouragingly and puts an arm around his shoulders, steering him to the kitchen counter. A steaming mug is almost immediately placed in front of him, and it takes Mateo a second to work out that it’s not, in fact, coffee as he was expecting, but hot chocolate.

He lifts his brows at TK, who just shrugs.

“What?”

“Hot chocolate, dude? I’ve never seen you drink this before.”

“It’s comforting,” TK defends, though his expression doesn’t show any signs of offence. “Don’t tell Marj.”

Mateo grins, the moment of levity taking some of the weight off his shoulders. He takes a sip of the hot chocolate, barely suppressing a groan at how good it tastes—this is very clearly not the powdered stuff he’s always used himself.

“Maybe don’t tell my dad either,” TK says wryly. “Carlos makes a mean hot chocolate, but my dad would freak if he knew how much sugar was in it.”

He snorts. “Got it.”

A comfortable silence falls over the three of them, but Mateo can feel the way TK and Carlos’s eyes keep falling on him, both of them utterly failing at disguising their worry and concern.

“What are you guys doing down here?” he asks, hoping to delay the inevitable. “When I first saw you, I thought… But…” Mateo trails off, wincing, but TK’s easy laugh settles his embarrassment slightly.

“We have a perfectly good bed for that, ‘Teo,” he points out. “We just…” He exchanges a glance with Carlos, then turns back to Mateo, a knowing look in his eyes. “Good sleep is kind of a luxury these days, you know?”

Mateo nods; he does know. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “Same here.”

And it’s incredible, he thinks. Because, as the three of them stand in a kitchen that’s not their own, drinking from someone else’s mugs and delaying going back to the guest bedrooms containing all that’s left of theirs, Mateo feels closer to both TK and Carlos than he ever has.

Their situations aren’t the same, he knows this. Mateo can’t compare to the trauma that comes with almost dying; he can’t imagine the nightmares that must come with that. But he’s learning that, maybe, that doesn’t matter as much as he thought—that, maybe, it’s enough just to understand.

They’re all here, and Mateo knows.

For now, that’s more than enough for him.

[artificialqueens]

Galactica, Chapter 99 (Group Fic) - TheDane/Veronica

A/N: Click here if you’re looking for previous chapters (or here if you’d rather read on AO3). 💫

Previously: Courtney embarked on a recording career with Bianca’s help (even more help than she knew), Violet was told that she’s staying in Fame’s office through February, and Fame (along with Raja and Raven) cut Bianca off. 

This Chapter: Courtney meets her new manager, Trixie stresses about leaving town, Violet worries about her runway look, Fame listens to reason, and Raven talks shit in the wrongest place possible. 

***

Courtney looked uncertainly around Amy Ruth’s, feeling a bit out place in the Harlem soul food restaurant. 

“Courtney!” called out a voice, and when Courtney caught a glimpse of the big, beautiful woman waving her over, she immediately felt at ease.

A smile broke out on her face as she pranced over to where Latrice was sitting, introducing herself and trying not to get lost in her mesmerizing glittered eyeshadow. 

“Thank you so much for doing this,” Courtney said. 

“Well, I always say that if the money’s right, then I’m down,” Latrice told her, before letting out a wonderful, bellowing laugh, fanning herself with a menu. 

Courtney giggled along with her as she flagged down a waiter and ordered a bunch of food that Courtney didn’t recognize the names of.  However, she knew that, vegan or not, she was gonna be eating everything this glorious woman put in front of her. 

“So,” Latrice said, folding her hands and leaning across the table. “Tell me about this contract. I had a look, it’s pretty boiler-plate. What is it that you want?” 

“Well…” Courtney bit her lip, trying to figure out how to phrase her concerns without sounding too much like an amateur. “I guess…I’ve never signed anything like this before, and so I want to make sure that I understand it all, but also to get your input if you think anything seems off…” 

“Right, okay. That makes sense. At first glance, the biggest question mark for me is the publicity and marketing section. It’s a little vague and the budget seems low. If it’s okay with you, I’d like to schedule a meeting with their team to talk it over. There’s no point in making music if people aren’t gonna hear it, you know?” 

“Yeah! That sounds great!” Courtney exclaimed, pulling her copy of the contract out of her bag. “I’d also just like to go through it with you, if that’s okay.” 

“Absolutely. One moment.” Latrice held up a finger, her cell already ringing and pressed to her ear. “Hi, Latrice Royale for Jeffrey. Thank you…Jeff! Hello young man! I’m representing Ms. Courtney Jenek and we’d love to set a meeting with you to talk about the marketing plan before she signs…mmhmm…next Tuesday sounds fabulous, we’ll see you then…” Latrice let out a gleeful cackle, then said, “Of course, of course. See you then!” 

She turned back to Courtney, who was watching with wide eyes, incredibly impressed that she already knew the players at the record label and was able to get a meeting on the books that quickly. 

“Okay. We can meet with their head of PR next Tuesday, 11 am. Does that work for you?” 

“Of course! Thank you so much, you’re amazing.” 

“So I’ve been told,” Latrice said with a wink. “Now. Let’s take a look at this contract and get you comfortable.”

Courtney smiled. ‘Comfortable’ was an understatement—with Latrice, she felt absolutely safe and supported, as if she was a long-long relative. She could only hope that maybe she’d be willing to keep working with her beyond this contract.

***

Trixie hadn’t meant to knock over one of his Barbie displays, the thick pink carpet making it almost impossible to find the missing handbag.

“Coach?“

“Shit!” Trixie jumped in surprise, slamming his head into the coffee table. “Ow!”

“Oh my god,” Kiara crouched next to him, “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine-“ Trixie crawled backwards, “I was looking for-“

“Is that a Barbie purse?” Kiara picked something up from the carpet, and Trixie yelped with excitement.

”Thank you!” Trixie grinned, taking the small piece of plastic, “Did you need anything?”

“I just wanted to ask if I should lock up when I left,” Kiara nodded her head, gesturing to the empty design floor. “Everyone else is already gone.”

“They are?” Trixie smiled, a sense of pride welling up in him. It felt amazing to be on track, to actually be on schedule for fashion week, this spring so different from last year's fall collection. Sure, there were still things that needed to be done, but they were in the hands of Bendela and the tailoring team. “Know what, get out of here too. I’ll take care of it.”

 ***

Violet was absolutely exhausted, her body aching, her ankle throbbing, but even though it was Friday night, she hadn’t gone home yet.

It had taken forever for Fame to leave her office, Violet waiting patiently with her coat ready, a breath of relief leaving her when Fame had finally finally finally asked for a car.

She turned the corner, the double doors to the tailoring floor in front of her. Violet swiped her keycard, praying that everyone had gone home before she stepped inside.

The lights came on, and she let out a breath of relief, her eyes scanning the empty room, and that, that was when she saw it.

Her dress, her beautiful dress was spread out on a big work table, the amount of chairs and the piles of beads that still needed to be attached telling their clear story of how many tailors that were working on it.

Violet took a step, and then another one. She almost didn’t dare touch, didn’t want anyone to know that she had been down here to check on her baby, but she couldn’t help herself.

The fabric felt just like she remembered it, the pattern she had left behind followed exactly. 

Violet tried not to cry with relief as she went over it, time slipping through her fingers as she inspected every inch of her creation for any signs of flaws or imperfection. 

***

“Coming through!” Katya held the slices of cake up high, stepping over the back of the couch.

“Katya!” Trixie’s voice was filled with outrage, and Katya had to fight not to roll her eyes.

“Relax,” Katya kissed Trixie’s cheeks, leaving behind a red lipstick mark. “There’s no need to stress.” She placed the cake in Trixie’s lap, leaning her head on his shoulder. Sure, Killer had really started to make his presence known, her back sore in a way she had never tried before, but that didn’t mean that she was going to stop moving.

“I don’t stress,” Trixie put his fork through the red velvet, “I just, worry.”

“I know,” Katya nosed at his neck. They had had this conversation countless times, Trixie worried about leaving her behind every single time he went to Europe, the fact that she was pregnant not easing his worries at all. “At least Fame has allowed you to stay home from London.”

If it had been anyone else, Katya didn’t think Fame would have been cool with it, but she was invested in their relationship, always going out of her way to support them.

“Right,” Trixie took a bite of his cake, sighing before he turned his attention to the TV. “There is that.”

“I’ll be fine,” Katya grabbed the remote, “Now, let’s watch some alien shit.”

***

“Can I open this one?” Violet was sitting on the floor of Raja’s old room, the big bed filled with clothes. When she had arrived, the hallway had been a maze of boxes and garment bags, Sutan yelling that he was in the extra bedroom.

Violet knew that her boyfriend was semi-famous, that it was inevitable for him to be in the back or even forefront of a myriad of fashion week photos, and that he was something of a style icon, but she had still felt overwhelmed by the amount of PR and gifts. Normally, brands invited whoever they wanted to dress to their studios to put together outfits, but it seemed like Sutan was established enough in the industry that brands simply sent him a wide variety of things, in the hopes that he’d wear them. 

“Sure, just make sure to keep it to the side.” Sutan was standing in front of a mirror, trying on a North Face zipper jacket in burnt orange. Violet wasn’t sure she had ever seen Sutan in casual street wear, but apparently, the spring fashion weeks got cold enough that everyone had out-leisure backups in their suitcases. “We wouldn’t want things to get mixed up.”

“Right.” She carefully opened the Ralph Lauren box, untying the ribbon and lifting the lid, finding an empty spot to put it down surprisingly difficult in the overstuffed room.

Violet had never been inside of Raja’s old bedroom, exploring the apartment without Sutan present feeling somewhat like a breach of his privacy. She would, however, never have guessed that the room essentially turned into a second closet twice a year, Sutan surprisingly diligent in keeping track of what was a PR piece, and what wasn’t. He had explained to her that he was sending the uninteresting pieces back, because it was the right thing to do, but also because it meant less clutter in his life.

“So?” Sutan turned, putting his hands in pockets. “Do we like this? Or should I go with the Balenciaga?” Balenciaga had sent over several garments, their spring style apparently oversized everything, except pants which were tight in the waist with thick belts.

“Kade likes orange.” Violet had been emailing back and forth with Kade, the two of them exchanging ideas and moodboards for the outfit she had promised to make him. It hadn’t been Violet’s intention, but she had made several plans for February with Kade already, the man so enthusiastic and interesting that she just couldn’t turn him down whenever he asked if she wanted to do something. 

“And that’s a no?” Sutan unzipped the jacket and shrugged it off. “Though drag queens have historically had a pretty good sense of where fashion is going?” He put it to the side, returning it to the plastic it had come in, instead of dumping it in his suitcase. “Are there any jackets from Ralph?”

“There’s this one,” Violet held up a black jacket with yellow detailing on the shoulder. “Seems like everyone is living their color fantasies this season.”

“I know you’re making fun of the lack of it,” Sutan took the jacket, “but that’s the reality of menswear.”

“It just seems like a shame,” Violet shifted through the box, a pair of frankly horrid jungle flower trousers the only other pop of color, though she couldn’t wait to see her boyfriend in the waistcoats. “You can carry a color.”

“I think that means this one is a keeper,” Sutan grinned, and Violet shook her head, a small smile on her lips.

“I can’t believe you pack like this.” Violet had been tired when she arrived, the days at work still brutally long, but this was exciting and surprising, Sutan’s process of packing so different from what she had imagined, the man folding the jacket and putting it in his Louis Vuitton suitcase. “So far in advance.”

“I used to not care that much.” Sutan sat down on the floor next to Violet, looking through the Amarni box himself. “I used to just grab my wallet and leave.”

It wasn’t that surprising, Sutan often so very go-with-the-flow that it stressed Violet out. “And what changed?”

“The novelty of touching down in Europe,” Sutan looked up at her, a smile on his lips, “and realizing you have no clean underwear wears off quickly.”

Violet laughed, the image absolutely ridiculous.

“And once you’ve been photographed looking like shit enough times,” Sutan was surprisingly quick sorting through the Armani, most of the pieces ending up in what Violet could only assume was the yes pile, “You start to care.”

“So you do care?”

“Did you think I didn’t?” Sutan looked at her, a stunned tone in his voice, which was an unexpected turn of events.

“I don’t know,” Violet pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, suddenly unsure. “You just seem so…Cool, calm. Collected.”

It was one of the things she liked best about Sutan, how it felt like he always had it together.

“Oh?” Sutan raised an eyebrow, his hand closing around her ankle, her shoes left in the hall, her red pedicure visible through her stockings. “So you think I’m cool?”

“It’s not very becoming to fish for compliments.”

“Who says I’m fishing?” Sutan yanked on Violet’s ankle, a gasp leaving her as he pulled, causing Violet to tumble to the floor and land on her back.

“Sutan!” Violet yelled, her mouth open in mock outrage as Sutan climbed on top of her, her boyfriend leaning on his forearm, their bodies barely touching.

“Whoops,” Sutan grinned, his entire aura needlessly smug, “seems like I just reeled in a catch.”

“Oh god,” Violet huffed, rolling her eyes though her stomach also flipped, Sutan annoyingly charming when he put his mind to it. “You’re terrible.”

“I thought I was cool.” Sutan lowered himself down, his lips inches from Violet’s.

“You’re pretty perfect.” Violet smiled, putting her arms around Sutan’s neck and kissing him. “At least for me.”

***

“Alright…” Juju smiled at Fame, running a hand gently through her wet blonde hair, folding the ends up and holding them to her chin. “How are you feeling about it? Changed your mind yet?” 

Fame was in the salon to freshen up her look before Fashion Week. She’d insisted on a root touch-up, even though Juju could barely find 3 millimeters of dark hair. She’d casually mentioned wanting a chin-length cut, and while Juju always wanted to make her customers happy, she had to make sure that Fame was still comfortable before she began chopping, that it wasn’t a rash decision made by a broken heart. 

“No, I have excellent bone structure,” Fame replied.  

Juju bit the inside of her cheek, holding back the comment that some of Fame’s bone structure was botox and fillers.

“It’ll be a nice change, a surprise,” Fame said, looking up at Juju in the mirror, a small smile on her lips. “Besides, I trust you to do it well.” 

Juju chuckled softly, knowing what a rare honor it was to be considered one of Fame’s trusted few. Frankly, she wasn’t sure she’d still be on the list, given her refusal to cut Bianca off. Raven was certainly not thrilled with her at the moment, and she’d insinuated that perhaps Raja and Fame felt the same. 

“How are you feeling?” Fame asked. “Your due date is in about a month, correct?” 

“March 6th,” Juju said, nodding. She wondered if her pregnant state had anything to do with Fame not holding a grudge. And if so, she planned to milk it. “I’ve been alright. Slowing down a little now that I’m the size of a house, not touching as many chemicals, but still managing.” 

“You look beautiful,” Fame assured her, reaching out to briefly loop her fingers around Juju’s wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting go. “Truly.”

“Thank you,” Juju said with a wink. She began the cut, blonde locks falling to the floor, trying not to dwell too much on the elephant in the room. Finally though, she couldn’t help herself, and when Fame caught her eye next, blurted out, “I take it you’re still not talking?” 

“No,” Fame said simply, though her tone wasn’t the icy cold it could be. “We’re not.” 

“And how are you feeling about that?” Juju asked gently. 

“Well…” Fame’s spine stiffened for a moment, but then the steely resolve in her eyes seemed to soften as she admitted, “It’s been…less than ideal.” 

“Yeah. I bet.” 

What Juju didn’t understand about the nature of Fame and Bianca’s friendship could fill a book. She’d known them both for so many years, and things had always been, well, complicated between them. 

“Mm.” Fame sighed slightly, her expression still a bit far away, her fingers picking at her thumb nail, chipping at the gel, Juju making a mental note to get one of her manicurists over before Fame left. “Right.”

Juju guessed that was the end of it, and began to rack her brain for other topics she could bring up. Had she told her about the twins’ disastrous first piano lesson yet? 

“How is she doing?” Fame asked suddenly. “Is she…How is she?”

“Well, I think…” Juju faltered. She figured that tempered honesty would probably be the best option here. “She’s dealing with it, I think. She understands that you’re mad, so…” 

Fame nodded, and Juju took a deep breath. If not now, while she was trapped in this chair, then when? Fame needed to know the truth. 

“Look,” Juju carefully picked up a strand of hair, “I was just as skeptical of this relationship as the rest of you. But… I’ve never seen Bianca like this before, around anyone. They seem…pretty happy.” 

Fame’s eyes darkened for a moment, and Juju wondered if, pregnant or not, she was about to be on the receiving end of a hissyfit. 

“I know you’re not Courtney’s biggest fan,” she continued, realizing that she may as well just lay it all out there, “And I’m by no means telling you not to be angry, but… I think they really compliment each other. I think…whatever it is, it’s real.” 

Fame pressed her lips together, clearly not believing a word Juju was saying. 

“You asked, and I know you might not want to hear that, but-” 

“I’m not a monster, despite what some people may think.” Fame was really digging into the gel, half her nail gone. “I don’t, I don’t wish her unhappiness, but I can’t-“ Fame looked up, their eyes meeting in the mirror, her hair limp and wet and half cut. “It doesn’t make sense. Any of it, why she’d choose some she barely know- We’ve always, I’ve always mattered, it’s- You saw what happened at the Christmas dinner.“

It was a widely known fact within the group that Fame had abandonment issues, that she, even now, decades down the line, had moments of deep-seated fear that everyone would leave.

Juju could have pointed out that even Bianca could be pushed to the edge, that there were healthier ways to deal with your issues than always attacking first, but she wasn’t going to push any more, not now, instead, she reached over Fame’s shoulder and into her lap, gently grabbing her hands and prying them apart. 

“The universe works in mysterious ways.” Juju looked in the mirror, giving Fame what she hoped was a reassuring smile. She didn’t believe in the destiny bullshit, higher powers and fate nonsense that Fame was always spouting, but if it helped a friend, Juju wasn’t above utilizing it. “Or I’ll just pop out a kid and force everyone to kiss and make up at the hospital.”

“Oh yeah?” Fame raised an eyebrow, “I’m not sure new mom privilege counts when it’s the fourth-“

“It does,” Juju grinned, “And I’ll unleash hell on anyone who crosses me.” 

***

“Omigod, I love it!” Courtney squealed, spinning around. They were in Bianca’s office, where one of the Marie Claire stylists was helping her pick an outfit for that afternoon, when she was meeting with Latrice and the marketing team at the label. She’d been so full of nerves that morning that Bianca suggested the dress-up session as a distraction. 

Bianca looked up from her computer. Courtney was in a pale pink halter top, covered in large iridescent paillettes. She and Dan had paired it with matching shorts and a jacket lined with hot pink satin, and high heeled pink Timberland boots. She looked cute as hell, but it was a lot for a business meeting during the day. 

“What do you think?” Courtney asked with a sunny smile, once their eyes met. 

“I think it’s great. But…you don’t like the blue?” 

Courtney’s gaze shifted to the sofa, where an electric-blue A-line dress with red piping lay discarded with a few other rejects. It was definitely more appropriate for where she was going, but the way her face fell, Bianca knew that it wouldn’t be right. 

“Sorry, I just have a thing for you in that color,” Bianca added quickly, then grinned and said, “You look perfect.” 

“Yeah?” Courtney fingered one of her sparkling rhinestone hoop earrings, biting her lip. “Because if you think it’s not-” 

“It’s you, and you’re perfect, so…it’s perfect,” Bianca insisted, finally causing her brilliant smile to return. “Add a necklace and you’re good to go.” 

“Thanks,” she giggled. “I was gonna wear this one.” 

She held up one of her Christmas presents…a D&G gold chain decorated with stars and music notes. Of course that’s what she’d choose. Bianca smiled again. 

“Gorgeous.” She stepped forward to help her fasten it, then turned to Dan, saying, “Thanks for your help.” 

“Anytime,” he chuckled, returning items to the rolling rack. “She’s a lot more fun than most of the people I deal with.” 

Bianca presses a kiss to Courtney’s cheek. “So…we’ve got a little time before you have to leave. Do you wanna swing by the set with me? We’re doing the Galactica makeup editorial today.” 

“Oh, I…” Courtney’s smile faded at the mention of her old company. 

“Don’t worry, Fame and Raja aren’t there.” 

“Oh, okay…but the makeup team is?” she asked hopefully.  

“They are. And, you know who else? Your friend Tatianna.” 

“Really?!” Courtney’s eyes widened. “That’s amazing, omigod! She must be so excited!” 

“So, whaddaya say?” Bianca offered her arm and Courtney took it gladly. 

“Lead the way.”

***

Raven looked at herself in the mirror, lips turned down in a frown. She was in a studio at Marie Claire for the Galactica makeup editorial, and while her face looked impeccable, shimmery blues from their spring palettes making her eyes pop, and a deep rosy blush highlighting her cheekbones, the clothes were all wrong. She’d always had to be careful with neutrals—the wrong beige could make her skin look sallow, and this was definitely the wrong beige. 

She removed the clothes carefully, putting them back on the hanger. Sutan had given her an earful about being on her best behavior because of the whole Bianca situation, so she’d been sure to arrive early, getting heaps of praise from Kim and Alaska for how fantastic her skin looked when she sat in the chair. She’d even managed to exchange some vague pleasantries with Bianca, who’d been blessedly out of sight after a brief check-in. 

She tied her silk robe closed and picked up the rejected outfit, stepping out from behind the partition to hand it to the British girl who’d given it to her—who must have been a new designer, since she didn’t recognize her. 

“This doesn’t work for me,” she stated. “I need you to pull something with warmer tones.” 

“Um…” British girl blinked at her, slightly frozen. 

“Please,” Raven added with a flutter of lashes. 

“How’s this, Raven?” April jumped in, showing her another top, this one an open-weave sweater. 

She reached for it, then shook her head. “It’s still too cool. I know that there are a lot of blues in the makeup, but I really need something with more gold.” 

“Uh…okay…” April pawed through the racks, brow furrowed. “Don’t worry, we’ll find something.”

“Ms. Petruschin? Alaska would like to see you in makeup again,” said a tiny assistant with a clipboard. 

“Sure. April, why don’t you pull a couple of things and come find me?” Raven said. The British girl was still staring at her like she was the biggest diva bitch on the planet, so she added, “I’m really not trying to be difficult, but this is a makeup shoot, so I don’t think anyone wants me looking sickly.” 

“Of course not!” April replied with a smile, nudging the British girl’s shoulder. “We’ll be right over, don’t worry.”  

Raven followed the assistant back to the makeup area, sighing. This shoot was already proving a little chaotic, and they hadn’t begun yet. The assistant directed her to a makeup chair beside a group of giggling babies from Elite who hushed up the second she sat down. As the least experienced here, they’d been here for a few hours, had already taken some test shots. Raven was relieved that she didn’t have to do that sort of thing anymore. 

She only recognized one of them, a stunning girl named Symone who was already the talk of the town, and gave her a smile. 

She wouldn’t lie—it made her feel good, the way the baby models worshiped her, even feared her. But there was also a nagging worry in the back of her mind—every year, the new girls got younger, which meant she was getting older. She tried to put that thought out of her head as Alaska and Kim approached, looking over Amy’s work carefully. 

“She looks great,” Alaska said, then turned to Kim and asked, “Do you think we should blend the eye up a bit more?” 

It was something Raven was used to by now, having people talk about her face and body as if she wasn’t there. 

“Mmmhmm. Amy, can you add some more ‘Acid Wash’ to blend her out in this direction?” Kim motioned, and Amy nodded, getting right to work. 

“While she’s here, let’s also get her hair done,” Alaska said, beckoning one of the hair stylists over. 

While the two of them worked, another model that Raven recognized, a redhead from IMG named Sarah or Sally or something like that, walked over and took the chair beside her. She gave her a little wave, and the girl’s face brightened.

“Raven! Oh wow, I’m so happy to see you here!” she chirped. “Congrats on your engagement.” 

“Thank you, darling,” Raven said smoothly, when someone entering the studio caught her eye and the gracious smile on her face turned into a sneer. “Ugh, not this today.” 

Bianca had just strolled in with Courtney on her arm, wearing the most ridiculous pink underaged slut outfit and smiling like the moron she was. One of the baby models jumped up squealing and ran over to them. Of course Courtney would know her—it wasn’t enough that she was getting to live it up in Bianca’s penthouse herself, now she was using the connections to bring along all her trashy friends, too. 

“What’s wrong?” the redhead asked. 

Raven turned towards her with an eye roll, causing the hair stylist to hurry to move with her. “Well, Bianca brought her latest little sugar baby, and she’s even more of a disaster than usual.” 

“Wait, really?” she craned her neck to see. 

“Yeah. She’s the one in sequins. During the day. Is she a literal prostitute?” Raven scoffed. “Apparently yes, because that’s the only explanation for that.” 

“She does look a bit…” 

“She’s an absolute idiot. And like, of course I don’t care. Bianca can fuck whatever little wannabe she wants, and she does, but it’s just so disappointing. I mean have some taste.” 

“But you’re like, friends with Bianca, right?” she giggled. 

“Yeah, I am, I guess. I’m not too pleased with her at the moment. First of all, they ruined my vacation a few weeks ago with a bunch of drama that I won’t even get into because I’m still furious. She’s pissed off everyone in our group because she’s spending all her time and energy on a girl whose personality is literally nonexistent. She’s basically what you’d get if you crossed a confused blink with a baby deer. Have you seen her try to walk in heels? She’s tragic. Maybe that’s why she’s wearing those hideous shoes with her sequins. And my fiancée says she’s criminally stupid, too. I’ll be extremely relieved when Bianca comes out of whatever spell she’s under and kicks her gold-digging ass to the curb!” 

While Raven spoke, the redhead’s eyes got bigger and bigger, the look of delight on her face dissolving into fear, her gaze fixed over Raven’s shoulder. Now that Raven was done ranting, she was about to turn to see what was freaking her out, when she saw April coming towards them carrying a bunch of wardrobe options, which at a glance seemed much better. 

“Hi Raven, I have some more choices for you. Do you want to look-” 

“That won’t be necessary,” growled a deep voice. 

April stopped dead in her tracks, and finally Raven figured out who must be standing behind her, who was making the redhead look like she was about to shit her pants. She glanced over her shoulder to see Bianca, glaring. Oops. Raven tossed her head, trying to play it off as no big deal. 

“Oh, hi Bianca. Didn’t see you there.” 

“Get off. My set.”

[bethchapelsbonnet]

I say No 55

HOURMAN AND DR MIT NITE Reunite after she is Rescued with Dr McNider ofcours during battle and Rick just cant wait until after the battle .He even Stars By her side the whole time

I hope thats ok

Okay. Firstly, I'm going to answer your closing concern of "I hope that's ok." The short answer is no. No, that's not okay, Love. Please remember that whenever you send these prompts into others, this is a request for free labor and we're merely asking you to select from the list so that we can freely practice our craft. It's not a custom order.

Furthermore, this may or may not be something that I might write, but I would doubtfully write it in this way. So, I will take your prompt #55 and write something of my own for this particular prompt, and hopefully you can find content that writes the very specific prompt that you're eager to see. 🙂

"I missed you... a lot."

"I missed you" is something that can be so personal. So deep and connected, with the right person, and yet can be so empty and shallow from the wrong one.

Rick wasn't always great with words. That being understood, his loved ones knew that when he said something, he meant it. Maybe not some of his pep talks, that were more to support you than emote for himself, but things like, "I'm sorry." "I understand." "I love you." "I care." "I'm here." Things like, "I miss you." Those would never be an exaggeration, and you'd do well to appreciate that they weren't common.

Beth always knew. Sometimes, he didn't have to even say the thing, but she was the type to be clear, so he would, just so she knew that he was serious and willing to do what it took. They weren't together the entire time.

They took a break, when Beth entered a work-school program at an elite institution, and decided that Rick shouldn't come along with her.

Rick looked like his next step would be to punch down another tree. There was no light in his features and he didn't feel any of the warmth that he generally associated with her. That was all because his heart was breaking.

His first response to this blatant and gross betrayal, this abandonment that she had promised would NEVER happen was anger. He didn't express it. She could just tell.

"Rick, you know that it's best for both of us right now, right?" He grimaced. "Maybe not best, but it's the most sensible way for us to both do what we need to do and not have to…"

"What? Not have to WHAT, Beth? Because the last time I checked, there was NOTHING that we weren't willing to do for each other! And now, what? You don't want to have to put up with me and my issues?" He clenched his fist and she started crying.

Rick shook his head and pulled her to himself, "I'm sorry." She sobbed into his jacket. "This is why, isn't it? It's because I'm like this.."

"It's because it's what's best right now…"

"For you. Because I keep fucking up."

She cupped his face, "I want you to have everything that you deserve, Rick Tyler, and you deserve so much more than this world has given you… more than I'm able to give right now. I have to focus on my studies and I don't want you to follow me. I don't believe that I will be available as needed and I think that pretending to would make it harder on both of us and it would be disingenuous of me.." she whimpered, "I still love you."

That hurt him more, but nothing that she said was irrational or untrue and he couldn't force her not to break up with him if it was. "I understand." He said, miserably sad. He wanted to simply die. He didn't want to think about returning to a life after being left behind again, by her this time.

.

He made it alright. They did different hero stints in different groups and stuff, him mostly with the JSA, her with other teams and heroes. It scared him, to think about her out there, not having him to have her back. Sure, she had teammates, but did any of them care about her like he had? Did she have new best friends? A new lover? Was there somebody right now, warming her bed and being her shield in a fight?

The call was late and unfortunately, some guy answered. "Umm… sorry to call so late. Is Beth available?"

"She's working on something pretty important.."

"Okay. Yeah. Of course. I'm, if you could tell her Rick called…"

"Rick.." the person said, "Will she need anything else or just Rick?"

"Rick?" He heard her say in the background and the man was going to relay the message, but she wound up with the phone, "Rick? What's happening? Is everything ok? Do you need me?"

His heart wasn't prepared for this. He wanted to say yes. Of course he needed her. He loved her. He always would need her. "I'm sorry. I just was thinking about you…" there was a long pause and a relieved sigh. Then she said something to someone in the background. "I didn't mean to scare you," he attempted, "I was having some kind of anxiety. I guess I just… regressed to needing to talk to you."

"I'm the regression, huh?" She teased, then chuckled. "It's okay. But, why did you call this line? Did you delete my cell or something?"

"I…" he glanced at his own phone and plain as day it said Beth WORK. "Must've hit the wrong entry."

"Okay. Well, if you need to talk longer, call me on my cell, okay?"

"No.. it's fine. I'll let you go."

"Okay…" another pause, "you'd still tell me if you needed something, right?"

"I'd." He bit his lip and was grateful that she wasn't there to see his face. She would know that he just wanted her so badly. "I'd try." She sighed. He grabbed the bridge of his nose, "I love you."

"Rick... I have to go." And she hung up. A moment later she sent a text: I love you too. Please take care of yourself. 🙏🏾

.

Rick walked into the JSA headquarters and was startled to see Hootie there. Why would Hootie be here? "Court?" He called and only then realized that some conversation died down. He went towards the silence and saw The Green Lantern, speaking with Courtney and Yolanda. "Jennie! What's good?"

"It's not good," Courtney said, sadly. Rick looked worried and it only intensified when Yolanda took his hand.

"What is it?"

Jennie cut to the chase. "It's Beth." Rick nearly collapsed JUST from that much. "She's alive, but… she's been injured very badly and she's unconscious and.."

"Where is she?" He asked.

"I can bring you. Just you. I know everyone cares about her, but Rick is the only person listed for this type of… situation."

"WHAT TYPE OF SITUATION IS IT?" Rick asked, on the verge of tears.

"Life or death. We have to leave immediately."

"Yeah, we do!" Rick said. Yolanda and Courtney tried hugging him but he really didn't want to be touched. He couldn't handle that.

.

She looked so frail in the hospital bed. Her head and face were wrapped up, almost completely. Her nose and mouth though… while not seemingly damaged, were the only thing that seemed not to be with those wraps.

Her current team was already preparing the cover story for her death. Her death? She wasn't going to die. She couldn't die. Please, don't die, Beth. I couldn't take it. He couldn't find any words on his tongue. "I care…" was all he could mutter and he held her hand, lifeless and soft.

Some of her current teammates talked to him, trying to explain what happened and what may happen next. He couldn't really take in everything. Unless Beth got up, there was no "next" happening. He would be here until she got better or until she left forever. "I'm here." He kissed her hand.

They could use his help on a mission. Without Beth's fighting skills, they were disadvantaged. He shook his head. He'd have liked to apologize and explain that there was no way that he left Beth and risk her not being there when he returned. Still speechless. For days. For weeks. "I miss you," he pleaded. Please, wake up.

Her hand began to move and he called for help. Hopefully, he wasn't losing it. Doctors came in, he was moved aside while they checked things. He was overwhelmed, but refused to step out.

After a while, she had been unwrapped and helped to sit up. It was a lot to process. She been blasted with a ray, and knocked unconscious from a head injury. She could have been paralyzed. They were shocked that she wasn't… but she was blind.

Sure, she still had her goggles, but it was… going to be quite a life change, and she still had healing to do. "You're not alone," she heard Rick say and she gasped and reflexively turned in his direction. She absolutely couldn't see him, but he made his way to her side, and her hands found his.

"I missed you… a lot," Beth said.

"Here I am." And she wasn't going to get rid of him.

"I can never see your face again," she said in the softest voice ever, hoarse from her down time. "I mean.. not like it is.. not like I remember it.."

He took her hands and placed them on his face, "You'll learn it. I'm never letting you go that far away from me again."

"I'm not your responsibility."

"You never were my responsibility. I should have been clearer. I never felt obligated to protect you or forced to defend you. It was always out of love."

"That hasn't changed?"

"Kidding? I would have hitchhiked here, if I had to just to sit at your side for all of these weeks."

"I don't know what to say…"

"Do… do you still love me?"

"As much as I did the first time I told you."

"We don't have to say anything else, for now."

[inspector-montoya-fox]

let’s talk about why Justine Courtney is a badly written character

it’s been a hot minute since i’ve finished Investigations 2 but i can confidently say it’s very much one of the best Ace Attorney titles, perhaps even as good as Trials & Tribulations. but, that doesn’t mean it didn’t have its flaws, and i think, as much as i love her, Courtney was one them. loads of stuff didn’t really make sense, and her story arc as some sort of antihero didn’t quite gel. let’s dive into specifics (spoilers ahead):

i wanna start off by saying that this character genuinely holds a special place in my heart. if you follow me and my friend’s podcast, Turnabout Podcast, you might know that Investigations 2 was the first game i played without my friend giving me any previews or opinions because it’s the only game in the series that i played first. as such, when Courtney was first introduced, she made an impact by being a female judge sans the restraint of the court. you mean to tell me the judges in the Ace Attorney universe have... a waist, legs and feet !? when i tell you i thought this character was amazing, i mean it. easily one of the best things about my playthrough, something that surely wouldn’t change ever. but before i get into the bad writing, i wanna say that honestly, Courtney has some pretty nice moments in the game.

i think, first and foremost, diversity. like we can clearly see that the traditional Judge borrows heavily from what we all imagine a stereotypical judge would look like. bushy beard, black robes, bald (?). the only thing missing would be an over-the-top white wig with the curls. so, enter Courtney, this woman wearing her pink garment with some astral/cross details, braids in a circle with a thunder-esque fringe in the front, and holding a mini gavel to smash your skull in with. her attire and overall character design successfully portrays a woman who places her faith on the justice system above all else - and that’s a major aspect of her character. honey, she’s serving Florence + the Machine Ceremonials, divine eleganza. this is a prude above all else, and a firm believer that the justice system will prevail in the end, always and forever.

so, with this all in mind, you’d think we’d get a character who’s shtick is ‘blind faith’, etc. i mean, i love Ace Attorney but i have to admit most characters are pretty one-dimensional: Lisa Basil is a computer, Olga Orly is a reveal queen, Phineas Filch is a thief, and so on and so forth. it was a pretty big surprise when Courtney failed to maintain her single trait. the woman clearly doesn’t have a personality or a life outside her job; and even that would make for more interesting character development than what we got. instead, she starts off as an annoying foil to Edgeworth’s plans with some crazy-ass antics, and then proceeds to be excruciatingly irritating just because... she can ???? i feel like the writers had no idea what to do with her so they merged all their half-baked ideas together to form someone with enough systematic power to go against Edgeworth once he effortlessly put Sebastian Debeste in his place. lemme change the paragraph because i’m about to pop off.

Justine Courtney is like... 26 different people. she’s a mother, a judge, an investigator, a babysitter and a pain in the ass all at once. lil mama multi-faceted. the shift in tone doesn’t make sense and isn’t supported by anything in the narrative whatsoever. ok, she was basically playing lapdog to Sebastian in order to get closer to Blaise, i guess. but, why introduce her as someone who’s an avid justice system aficionado and supporter and not drive it all the way home or make it consistent throughout? that’s her entire thing in the Imprisoned Turnabout, talking about the Goddess of the Law and her motivations, but then in the Inherited Turnabout, she barely mentions any of it. instead of maintaining her black-and-white view of the law in order to develop it and make her come to a realisation that it’s not always like this, the writers tried shoving in other stuff like her playing secret agent trying to bust Blaise, or her being a mom.

the storyline at the end where she has a change of heart is completely and utterly unsupported by anything. why help Edgeworth when you’re the one who is to blame for everything !? you’re the reason he’s locked up !? again, if they had just stuck to one tone/ story arc/ theme, it would all make sense. black-and-white view Courtney would realise that Edgeworth is clearly a grey anomaly; mom Courtney would feel something for Sebastian because of her love for John; film noir Courtney would be a double-faced minx who reveals to Edgeworth why she was so eager to antagonise him. but when you put all of these together, it becomes such a convoluted mess that sees none of these aspects fully develop. most of these “character traits” also clash with each other at times, like how she helps Sebastian, an amateur prosecutor, put away people who are most likely innocent (apart from Simon Keyes) despite her undying trust and devotion in the law, or maybe even how her strong motherly instinct would probably prevent her from using Sebastian in order to get closer to Blaise and then ignore the kid’s meltdown in the final case.

and don’t get me started on the teen pregnancy thing. you had to know a secret or a reveal was coming, but that took me out of an otherwise outstanding case just because the Ace Attorney writers refuse to acknowledge that they have an issue with women and their ages. it was a horrifyingly disgusting experience for me doing the math during the Grand Turnabout and then, until it was revealed that John is actually her nephew, i couldn’t think of anything else. looking past how much of a horrible decision it was and how the writers don’t know how to properly give accurate ages to their female characters, it further took away from Courtney’s flawed character. you can’t just give this woman 209131 different storylines, neglect to develop them because she’s kept in the sidelines, and then place her in the forefront of the final major case. that’s not how it works? because when John was abducted, putting my hate for children aside, i genuinely didn’t really care about him. although, i have to admit, the mother-son moments were pretty sweet, and we often praise this on the podcast as well - i truly believe Courtney is an amazing mom, who wants nothing than the best for John. either way, the work wasn’t put in and as such i didn’t really care for a character who failed to gain my devotion and emotional attachment.

when you compare Courtney to other main female characters such as Franziska or Mia, the difference is undeniable. even when we compare her to the Judge, it’s clear that she fails to make an impression on the player because her traits are not consistent. ‘she lacked substance’ would be the TLDR version. if you want more Justine Courtney criticism, @ironicsnap​ quite literally pops off here and we discuss the age thing in detail. but to conclude, i think we should have gotten one version of Courtney. my favourites from the bunch would have to be “film noir” investigator Courtney or the “blind faith” one because i think that would make for interesting character development above all else. i would love to see Courtney be the prosecution’s pawn and then realise that and actually switch sides. if this was the case then she could return in later installments and interact with characters such as Kristoph Gavin, who have similar story-arcs.

[sunflowerandco]

After the Fact - Act VIII: Important Conversations

summary: Courtney makes a decision with the help of an unlikely ally. Just a really short chapter to segue into the next one :)

warning: mild language

Courtney slumped into the seat across her professor's desk in her weekly office hours visit. She continued on her unintentional rant having to explain her fainting spell at the mock trial and being behind on an assignment. "So, yeah, I didn't mean to submit the assignment late. But, I've got a mom in my ear all the time, a sleep schedule I have to maintain, and a second mouth in my belly that requires being fed every hour!"

Her professor peered through the frames of her glasses, only responding simply in her usual fashion. "You look like you could use some tea." She said calmly.

Professor Curtis took Courtney to a café tucked away from most students in the area. She ordered for her, handing the foam cup of honey-infused chamomile tea and sitting across from her."

"I want to let you in on something. You're familiar with Jacob, right? He's the only student besides you that voluntarily gets ahead of the material."

Courtney sipped from the cup before answering. "That guy in the front row? The one with the giant head?"

Her professor nodded before delivering the blow. "That would be my son."

Courtney almost choked on her tea trying to save herself. "Oh! Well, he seems very studious and-and driven-"

"It's okay, Ms. Alvarez." Professor Curtis laughed it off and Courtney quickly moved on to rid of her embarrassment.

"How? He can't be younger than twenty-three."

"I was around your age when I found out I was pregnant with him. Maybe even a little younger. It came as a shock to everyone, and the decision wasn't easy to make, but I was very in love with his father at the time. My career wasn't yet established and I lived with my parents. I didn't have the slightest idea of what the hell I was doing."

Courtney was astonished. Professor Curtis was highly respected, honored, and seemed so career-oriented; never having missed a step in her walk of life. She was the professor everyone feared, but wanted. She was everything Courtney looked up to and more. "How did you deal with it? I see it all worked out, but, how?"

"Not to put it in Layman's terms, or belabor you, but I just did." Her words marinated as she took a sip of her own drink. "It has much to do with strength and very little to do with planning. There's never a right time for anything." Courtney sat still, listening intently to her academic mentor. "But, I will tell you this: the first time I looked into Jacob's eyes, I knew he was meant to be here. I couldn't look back on that time of doubt, fear because it wasn't important anymore."

While Courtney was still registering the comparisons in her own life, Professor Curtis raised the question.

"Do you have a support system?"

Courtney thought of three people. "I do. My mother and practically two sisters."  Her heart stopped short of picturing Duncan holding her in the kitchen. She lingered on the feeling of his warm embrace and the familiar arms that made her feel so safe. She damned these pregnancy hormones as she tried not to choke on her own words. "I have the greatest, most supportive man I could ask for. But, we've never been through something like this and people can change their minds whenever they want-"

"Has he done anything to make you think he will? You just said he was great."

"No."

"Then why the hell should you worry? You can't read people's minds, honey." Professor Curtis sought to deliver the truth of experience to her bright and capable student. "They are here simply because they want to be. I learned that a long time ago." Courtney looked down, taking in every word of assurance. She looked up and they made eye contact before Professor Curtis spoke again.

"If you can handle a courtroom the way you do, you can handle this. I wouldn't say that to just anyone, and you know that. You've got a good head on your shoulders, young lady."

Courtney knew her professor's mode of communication. She only spoke her mind in concise statements. You'd know whether or not you impressed her or she just never wanted you to speak in her lectures ever again.

Hearing this from someone she admired allowed her to feel capable. She gave in to her calmed state, revealing a piece of information to the both of them. "Sometimes I look into the mirror... and I smile when reality sets in." She looked down again smiling at her small, but growing bump; feeling peace within herself after letting that off her chest. She continued.

"I feel this immense sense of responsibility I know I can handle, but it'll be shared."

Her professor warmly placed a hand on top of Courtney's, causing both of them to smile. She felt comfort finding a friend in the woman she admired. Courtney knew she had to make a stop before going all the way home.

***

When she entered her and Duncan's apartment, Courtney held her purchase behind her back and approached Duncan relaxing in the living room. She spoke as soon as he spotted her, not leaving any room for greetings so she could get all the words off of her chest. She held out her purchase; a can of sage green paint. It caused more confusion to play on Duncan's face.

"I know we want our security deposit back for when we leave this place. But, I thought while we're here we could give our baby a small portion of our room? Like, a mini nursery."

He got up quickly and spoke warily, but still smiled slowly. "So, does this mean...?"

"Yeah." She was elated to tell him as she said in between giggles. "Let's do this."

Duncan's tone unintentionally got higher out of excitement.

"Are you sure?" Courtney nodded, still smiling.

"I'm very sure."

Much like the wind, he swept her up by the waist, slightly lifting her from the floor. She took on a more serious tone when he let her down, facing him.

"I have some requirements, though." He made sure she knew he was listening before she went on. "You have to come to every recital. Every time they fall off of their bike, you'll be right there to catch them, kissing their bruises. When they can't sleep at night and crawl into our bed, they'll need the both of us to comfort them. I want our kid to be able to count on you in all walks of life.”

Duncan sought to ease her childhood fears and intended on doing so for the next eight months to come. "You," he started, rubbing her small bump forming, "and you, will be my greatest loves."

She'd have to get used to the feeling of tears stinging her eyes when joy took over. "Thank you."

"I want all of this. And I want you. You don't ever need to thank me." He swept her up again as he planted a kiss on the side of her head. He held her tightly and reminded her, hoping she'd truly understand the vehemence of his words. "I love you, Courtney."

***

A/N: I hope you enjoyed this short chapter! I didn't want to start the next one without a reason for her decision, and I love any reason for more soft duncney :). Let me know what you thought of it !

*i just wanted to say i'm not prolife. i have a firm belief that everyone is free to make the best choices for themselves/lives

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Speaking of JSA, what kind of yandere (platonic) do you think Pat, Courtney, Beth, Rick and Yolanda are and how dark can they get?

Yandere JSA (platonic)

Pat Dugan

Pat is the epitome of the word "Dad". He's protective and he worries about you and the rest of the new JSA. He'll do anything to protect his family (including the other JSA kids). He'll always make sure that you're taken care of, along with the others.

He's slightly delusional in regards to the family dynamic that the JSA have going on. He's aware enough to understand and know that he's not your actual parent but that doesn't stop him from seeing it like that.

He'll try to insert himself in your day to day life outside of the JSA, even befriending your parents so he can be around even more. Now if you're parents mistreat or abuse you in any way then he'll push for you to stay with him, Barbara and the kids. They'll replace your old family, giving you the love, support, recognition, and affection that you deserve. He'll make sure that you're happy and healthy. But don't think that he won't go back to your parents and have a talk with him, if he feels the need to then he'll throw down with them. Either way, no matter how your parents are, he will take you in and under his wing becoming your new family, your better family.

I totally canon Pat being platonic yandere for all the kids, along with Barbara. The show already pretty much made that canon with the end of the last episode with the Christmas celebration, showing that they basically adopted the other kids and were one happy family.

Pat would definitely be very weary of anyone you're friends with or close to, he just wants to make sure that they're good for you and that they're not trying to get you into trouble. Anyone you have a crush on or are dating will be heavily scrutinized and watched, he wants you happy but only with someone he approves of and knows will be good for you. He realizes that not every one of your love interests, whether a crush or actual relationship, will last forever but that doesn't ease his mind. He definitely doesn't want to see you hurt in any way, shape, or form, especially not by someone you put your all into and trusted.

When it comes to you graduating Pat will be a whole mess. His baby is growing up and gonna go places with out. You'll get to a point where you won't be needing to consult Pat for anything. You'll be able to function and live on your own and that really gets to him. As much as he's happy he's also filled with anxiety and worry, he doesn't want you to move on from your pops and the family. He'll be the one to always call you, making some excuse just to hear your voice and talk with you. He fears that you just may forget about him when all is said and done and that really scares him.

Overall he's a good guy and means well but he just can't fathom the thought of letting you fly the coop, he wants to hold on to you for as long as he can. Please make sure to keep him in both your mind and heart or he just might worry himself into a heart attack or something.

Courtney Whitmore

Courtney's happy-go-lucky, friendly and lovable. She's just so kind and considerate, how could you not want to be friends with her? It's hard to not give in to her persistence to a friendship or when she refers to you as family. You know she means well and is full of good intentions so you never think too much into anything that she does. But if you just gave Courtney a second look then maybe you'd see just what was really going on.

She's protective to a fault, always being overly cautious with anyone you're close to or interact with. She's usually very trusting but when it comes to you she doesn't want to leave any room for anyone to put you at risk. Courtney values your trust and dependency, she doesn't want to lose that so she'll put anyone and everyone under a microscope if need be just to ensure that you'll always be safe. 'Cause in the end that's all that really matters to her, your safety and happiness, that all she wants.

You and Courtney will spend every waking moment together, doing anything and everything. She vents to and confides in you, expecting the same from you. She wants complete trust and transparency with each other, no lies and no holding back about anything.

Your probably the first real friend she makes when she moves to Blue Valley. She trusts you with everything, even going as far as telling you her blowing up Henry's car, becoming Stargirl and especially about Brainwave and the rest of the ISA. She wants you to know to keep your guard up and that things aren't what they seem but don't worry she'll always be there to keep you safe and sound.

Courtney doesn't have a problem with you making other friends or interacting with other people as long as she's #1 and no one tries to replace her or you don't leave her in the dust to be with your other friends. If you're invited to something or going somewhere in general Courtney always ends up tagging along or just so happening to be at that same place as you.

Speaking of which, Courtney is always following you around whether you know it or not. She's always worrying about you and playing terrible scenarios in her head about everything that could possibly go wrong, so to ease her mind she takes to stalking you. Your phone will be filled with messages, missed calls, and voicemails from her. She'll use any means necessary to communicate with you whether through text, phone calls, email, Facebook messenger, letters, and or a cup on a string. Hell, she'll call you through Zoom if she has to, anything that means she can still be in contact with you.

I feel like the cosmic staff would probably encourage her in her obsession for you. Pointing out wherever you may be or taking Courtney to you without hesitation, basically being a little tattletale in regards to you. It may even take a liking to you or form a little obsession in itself because of Courtney's own obsession and interest towards you.

As much as Courtney wants to see you happy she doesn't like anyone you have a romantic interest in or are dating. She honestly believes that no one will ever be good enough for you (this goes for a friendly platonic or a familial platonic). No one will be able to take care of you and keep you safe or even understand you like her, so why don't you just stick with Courtney? Besides the two of you are still young, there's plenty of time for love so why not just focus on your friendship for now.

Beth Chapel

Beth is extremely delusional, you're her best friend or her sibling, hell you could even be a parental figure to her, it doesn't really matter not for her at least. She honestly believes that your closer than you really are, you could seriously have never given her a second glance in your whole life but she already has it in her mind that the two of you are as thick as thieves.

As much as she is delusional, Beth is also very soft. She genuinely cares about you and wants to have a connection with you. She just wants to be close with you, doing anything that results in that. She'll even goes as far as getting into all your interests and hobbies just so she can feel that closeness and be able to bond with you even more. If you like anime or a band she and Chuck will do all their research into those exact things to learn anything and everything there is to know. By the time she and Chuck are through with learning everything, Beth will know so much more than you could have possibly fathomed.

If you have a favorite character in an anime, game, book or movie then that character just so happens to be hers too! What a coincidence, huh? She'll have any and or all memorabilia in regards to that character and she already knows everything there is to them and their origin or backstory.

There won't be a second that goes by where she's not talking someone's ear off about you. She loves talking about you or anything that has to do with you. She just loves you, platonically of course. She just really wants someone to be close with, to do stuff with and she chose you. You mean a lot to her, she'll tell you that all the time and you probably have no idea how much she means it. Everything she says, she wholeheartedly means no matter what it is.

You honestly don't have to really do anything to garner Beth's attention, you could have looked or even waved in her general direction and she'd be hooked. Whatever attention you gave her, whether inadvertently or not, is enough for her.

She'll follow you around all the time like a puppy, wherever you go she goes. Beth is always in distance of you and whoever you may be with, listening to everything you say and watching everything you do. She's definitely a stalker and once she has Chuck with her it only gets worse, she'll have even more in depth and intimate knowledge about you and your life.

Beth is the type to invite herself to whatever you may be doing or wherever you may be going. She'll always has a way of making the people around you uncomfortable and uneasy, whether intentional or not. She probably doesn't even know that she's doing anything odd, she's just being herself after all.

All your friends and or anyone you interact with will go through an extensive background check courtesy of Chuck. Beth just wants to make sure that you're in safe hands with the people you're around. If she finds anything incriminating about them or anyone in regard to them she'll make sure you know, whether she tells you herself or tells you anonymously.

Beth would want to around you all the time, the two of you wouldn't even have to do anything just as long as she was with you she's content. She'll spend any and all her time with you if she could.

She feels that she has to tell you everything otherwise she would be a bad friend if she didn't, she just can'tlive with herself if she lied to you for any reason. Whether you're a part of the JSA or not, you'll know everything about what's going with both them and the ISA. Beth keeps you in the loop about everything.

When she first goes down into the tunnels and loses communication with everyone, you're the first person she goes to for comfort. It really scared her being alone like that, without you and or Chuck by her side, she felt like nothing. It just showed her that she never wants to part with either you or Chuck, especially you. She relies/depends on you and Chuck for a lot, particularly in regard to her emotional connection that she shares with both of you.

Once Chuck 'dies' and is out of commission you're all she has now, at least that's what she keeps saying. You'll have her whole undivided attention and focus after everything. She'll be even more attached to your side, relying on you even more to fill the void that she has after what happened to Chuck. She'll need you all the more now and there's nothing you can do to push her away, even for a little breathing room.

In conclusion, no matter what Beth is always going be there and that's just where she plans to stay, right by your side.

Rick Tyler

Rick can be pretty aggressive and temperamental, coming off scary and unapproachable. You have no clue how he ever came to like you let alone become obsessed with you. Maybe one day he was feeling sympathetic or 'heroic', so to speak, and protected you from some bullies or something. Maybe you were just too kind for your own good, especially to him, so he felt the need to become your protector.

He's protective and possessive, maybe even at least slightly delusional. He's always trailing either behind you or beside you, keeping very close to in case anything may happen. You'll have your own personal guard dog in Rick, he's an intimidating force to be messed with and he counts on that using it to his advantage.

Rick is highly paranoid, ways looking over his or your shoulder for anything out of the ordinary, even before he became part of the JSA. He doesn't trust anyone, excluding you of course. Especially when it comes to you, he doesn't trust anyone to keep you safe or take care of, or to make sure that your happy. Rick doesn't believe that anyone has your best interests at heart, not your friends, family, and especially not your romantic partner if you have one.

Speaking of which, he won't leave any room for other friends or any love interests to come between him and you. He wants all your focus, time and attention, if he has to get his hands dirty to get even a second of anything you have to give him then he will.

Love interests and romantic relationships are out of the question with Rick, he knows that no one is deserving of you and that's just how it will stay. Even if someone was deserving or even worthy of you, Rick wouldn't let them get far. He'll get rid of them quickly enough that you wouldn't even bat an eye at their absence. He's just fine having it be just you and him against the world if it comes down to it, just as long as it's only you and him in the end. That's all he needs after all.

You'll be kept out of the loop about the JSA and the ISA, Rick just wants to protect you from all of it. If you're already involved then he'll have your back all the way until the end, getting in the way of any one trying to hurt you, taking any hits he has to to ensure your safety. You'll always be safe with him, he promises you that.

You're the only one who can calm Rick down, reigning him in whenever he gets too aggressive or murderous. You're always able to bring him back from whatever dark place he's falling into, and he wants to do the same for you if the occasion ever arises. He wants you to depend on him just as he depend on you, though he would never admit to it.

As angry and scary as Rick can be, he can also be soft and gentle but you're the only one he ever let's see that side of him. It just goes to show how important you are to him and how much he really values and trusts you. So, you know that you're in capable hands with him and how he would never hurt, not intentionally at least.

If you were to ever move whether for school or work, Rick would either follow you if he had the means or he'd be pushed to take drastic measures to keep you with him. He just can't trust that you'll be safe or in good hands without him there to be the one watching over you.

Yolanda Montez

You and Yolanda were probably close before everything went down with Henry, you were the only one to not turn your back on her and that only fueled her obsession for you and also her devotion to you. You showed just how committed you were to her and your friendship and she could never put into words just how thankful and appreciative she was of you. You were her only true friend anymore and she couldn't bare to lose you too, no matter what she had to do to keep you.

You probably encourage Yolanda to be friends with Courtney and to especially become Wildcat, and again that only adds to her admiration for you. She feels indebted to you, you've pushed her to be strong, to not give up and it's only brought even better things into her life. She thinks so highly of you and how undeserving she really is to have you by her side through everything that she's been through, everything that you've been living with her right by her side.

Yoland can't help but feel devoted to you and everything that you've done for her. You've always been right there to keep her going and she's clueless as to how she would have survived without you. She hates the thought of not ever having you around anymore, it's probably her greatest fear. You became her everything in such a short amount of time and she couldn't imagine not having you with her anymore. She'd fight tooth and nail to keep you where you are, to keep you just as you are.

Yolanda wouldn't be okay with you having other friends outside of her, she can barely stand you being friendly with the other JSA kids but putting some stranger in the mix would not be pretty. She can't stand the thought of you leaving her behind or maybe even turning your back on her because of some new face. She doesn't honestly believe that you would do that to her but that doesn't mean that she trusts the other person. They could try to turn you against her, try to make you hate her and be disgusted by her. She trusts you but she doesn't trust anyone else, you're all she really has anymore and therefore she can't lose you to anyone for any reason.

You also wouldn't be able to date or have any interest in anyone. Yolanda has a very hard time trying to trust anyone in a romantic way after what happened to her and that will bleed through to your love life. She fears that the same will happen to you and she just can't leave any room for that to happen. Yolanda will dissuade you from anyone, lying and or twisting things so you will lose interest in anyone and everyone. If she has to she will suit up to take out anyone she needs to, her claws are sharp and she has no problem using them especially if it's for you.

Yolanda is very protective already, having threatened Henry to stay away from courtney in the show but when it comes to you that protectiveness gets amped up. She's also possessive of you as well, you're all she's had for so long that she wants to be all that you have too. She has no problem threatening or getting rid of anyone she has to to keep you with her and only with her.

If Henry ever interacts with you she'll have to keep herself from shredding him to pieces right then and there.

When it comes to graduating and whether you may go out of state for college, Yolanda will work and study hard to be able to get into the same school as you and she's more then willing to put the dedication into it just to be with you. It would be nice to get away from her family anyways, especially her parents.

Hell, she would runaway with you now without any hesitation if you asked her to. As long as she has you then she knows she'll be okay, the both of you will be.

You may have kept her from falling into a dark hole before but it only caused her to fall into a much darker place with a different goal in mind. She'll be damed if anyone tries to come between the two of you, so help her, they'll wish they never crossed Yoland Montez.

[hournites]

Say that we’ll stay with each other 

An aged-up Jealous!Rick hournite fic for @samarasketch 

~.~

They grab coffee at the diner to catch up every week. It’s not the only time they see each other, but missions require zero personal life talk for safety, as learned very quickly into their JSA run, and their texts just aren’t sufficient enough for the way they miss each other’s company.

Beth rearranges the cutlery, waiting for Rick as he picks out two desserts from beneath the glass window by the cash. It’s late and quiet, Rick had to work overtime to finish a deadline,  so she took a nap at her office until he swung by with his car to pick her up. 

The steaming coffee is in front of her, untouched. It’s been a long day and she’s second guessing whether or not caffeine is actually such a good idea after all. 

“Wow,” Rick greets her, sliding into the booth across from her. He’s no longer slicking his hair back with gel and the small change makes a massive difference in how he looks. His hair is thick, falling over the front of his face, long enough to frame his eyes. Those eyes are lit up now, bright hazel. They sweep over her, taking everything in like he needs the moment to process. 

The silent gesture pushes Beth to look down at herself, wondering if she spilled something or was showcasing a wardrobe malfunction of some kind. 

“You look amazing. I noticed before but your jacket was on.”

Beth relaxes, settling against the leather backing of her seat. He grins at her, which she returns easily. Rick is her best friend—has been for a very long time. Her lips curve around the rim of her ceramic mug. “Oh, thank you! I was on my date earlier over lunch. I didn’t want to show up in my lab coat.” 

“Right,” he replies. “Dr. Leho, was it?” ” Rick twirls his fork into the perfectly cut marble cake slice on the pretty small plate. “How’d that go?”

Beth suppresses the urge to roll her eyes. “Dr. Leon.”

“Oh, was that it?” As if he hadn’t deliberately botched the name of her date in the first place. Rick has met Denny before. Beth’s mom had invited him to her surprise birthday dinner that she organized with Courtney a few weeks ago. He was nice, bought her a book of easy recipes that he swore got him well fed through night shifts that he thought she’d enjoy. The gesture was thoughtful and was what made her agree to giving him her number. Rick was there for it all, one eyebrow arched high in what she was able to tell was silent judgement as he kept sharing a look with Yolanda. 

“—And it went fine.”

He raises that brow again now. “Just fine?”

Beth shrugs. She already knows how Rick feels about why she’s giving him a chance. He’s not exactly her first choice when it comes to dating—Rather, he wasn’t much of a choice at all, pestered into giving the youngest single doctor working at her mom’s floor the time of day. 

Her parents are getting concerned she’s throwing herself too deep into work without any support. It’s not precisely fair—Juggling a new position at Central City emergency with spontaneous secret crime-fighting against metahuman villainous egomaniacs does not give a woman much time to find someone new to love. Long shifts end in face-planting into bed until the next one and there’s nothing more she’d rather do than shove off her work shoes to do that. Only a handful of people have enough grip on Beth’s heart for her to sacrifice her evenings—Courtney and her family, Yolanda, Jade, Wally, her parents. And while she enjoys the pretty dress and matching pair of high heels for dinner, her energy to sustain a relationship would require an extension of self that she’s not sure she has to offer. 

She’s tried to explain this, cutting out the important JSA parts, which she self-admits would strengthen her argument.

“It was a nice lunch.” She’s already preferring dessert with Rick, though.

“Tell me about it.”

“There’s not much to tell.”

“What, he was that boring?”

Beth sighs. She finds herself describing her entire lunch break, from waiting for Denny to scrub his hands from surgical fluids to grabbing her hand to chatter about his day without a moment of pause for her to get something into the conversation until their food had arrived. It’s because he was excited to be on the date with her. Beth’s mom was talking her up to him, no doubt, clearly that was the case by any indication of how her mother kept talking about Denny to her over the phone too. So Denny was likely nervous, he kept letting out a barking type laugh after something he thought Beth should find funny. Beth couldn’t exactly be annoyed for his rambling to no end, she was the queen of that when she was younger. Her mom probably thought it was nice they had that in common. Except, it’s not. Beth’s excited verbal amusement park went away with age. Beth learned to keep her mouth shut when she needed to, she’s hoarded too many secrets. 

“There’s one thing though that bothered me a bit,” she admits finally, tapping her cut nails against the table. “He asked me what...pleased me... the most.” 

Rick frowns at her. “Huh?”

She flushes, eyes flitting away as she mumbles, “In bed. What I find pleasurable in bed.”

Rick bristles, his mouth dropping open. “Did you tell him?” 

“After what he told me first? I kind of had to. There was a family sitting within earshot of us, it was barely noon so I sort of said something vague, I don’t exactly remember, I think my brain is trying to block it out. It was embarrassing.” 

“God, that’s tacky.” 

She knew Rick would say that. “I think he was trying to assess our compatibility?”

“You make him sound like some socially inept robot.”

Beth lowers her mug, biting her tongue on calling herself a socially inept robot. She reaches over the table for the pot the waitress left for them after Rick’s second refill, instead. He lifts it for her when notices, pouring her a fresh cup and slides over the basket of sugar packets and creamers.

“Thanks,” she says, then returns to their conversation. “I think he was trying to be suave.”

“You hate that word! You’ve said so yourself!”

Had she? Beth wrinkles her nose. It’s crazy how much of their lives they’ve shared together. “In high school, maybe.”

“I vividly remember you telling me that talking about sexual preferences with acquaintances freaks you out.” That’s true. Whenever a horror story kinky sex accident patient shows up in Beth’s emergency room describing their incident in full detail, it takes all of her professionalism not to drop her clipboard and run out from second hand embarrassment. 

She shifts in her seat and explains, “He was my date, Rick.”

“So that’s what, half an hour of getting to know him? You’d think someone that went to med school would have the patience to keep it in their pants.”

“Rick!” She gapes at his bluntness because he’s just flinging it out there, dragging Dr. Leon’s entire personality with barely any effort at all, what’s worse is that he’s being unintentionally funny and now she’s trying not to laugh.

“What? This man is clearly not for you. He’s not your type.”

She raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms. “Then what is?”

Rick looks down at his plate, quieting. He hasn’t really eaten yet, just danced his fork all over that cake. She’s half tempted to ask him for it if Rick’s not hungry. She finished her lemon square in four bites.

 “Well...”

“Well?”

"Well... He’s not my type... for you. He’s not good enough for you. He sounds like a secret sleaze."

Beth stops trying to defend Denny after Rick says that. She’s not sure if he’s so adamant because he can tell the way she’s not really interested in him, but feels the need to make her mom happy and is trying to give her an out, or if he honestly thinks Denny is not a good person. She’s been a superhero for ten years now, Beth is pretty sure how to gauge a person’s character. There’s nothing wrong with Denny Leon the way Rick is painting him. It’s hard because she knows there’s no real spark, but she’s willing to try. Chemistry doesn’t develop like that over one day. 

Beth thinks about her mom again. She just wants Beth to have a fulfilling life. And she had found Beth’s father while also steadily making a career as a respected research clinician. What’s Beth’s excuse then, to say finding someone isn’t possible?

“I don’t have a type, I’ve barely dated at all. The man I’ve spent most of my time with is you.”

Rick takes a while to respond, but his eyes are on hers like he’s waiting for an afterthought to accompany her last sentence. It’s sincere and gentle, and for the second time since they’ve met here today, she finds her heartbeat picking up because of the way she’s being seen. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“It’s just—“

“What?”

He takes another moment before answering. “Why are you forcing something with someone you have no desire to connect to? Are you not...Happy?”

His question takes her by surprise. She stammers, feeling more heat rise to her face. “Why are you asking me this?”

Rick drags a hand over his face and leaves it there for a moment, like he’s just trying to breathe. Eventually, he sweeps his hair back up over his head, and he strikes a nostalgic resemblance to the angry boy Beth latched onto in tenth grade whose soul she watched soften over years of time. Her heart pangs at the memory of the way things were. When they spent all week side by side, and didn’t have to schedule coffee dates that inch towards midnight around saving each other in costumes with relics because of their hectic lives. 

“I care about you,” he finally says. “I just don’t want to see you exhaust yourself over someone that’s not worth your time. You should be with someone who makes you feel how I feel whenever I’m with you.”

She smiles at that. “I love you too, Rick.”

His own smile falters, something dims in his expression, she’d almost call it wistful, but that’s not exactly a feeling Rick has in his emotional repertoire. He lowers his gaze to his plate again. 

“Hey.” Beth places her hand over his. “Are you okay?”

In high school, Rick was on track to becoming a mechanic like Pat until the man turned him around by the shoulders and walked him through scholarship applications for college. To the surprise of practically everyone in Blue Valley except his inner circle of friends, he graduated with honours in both chemistry and physics, and is now an independent research scientist for a big pharma company. He says he likes his lab, but the regulations of being under a company contract means there’s only so much experimentation he can get by with on his own. Beth has been encouraging his recent talks of starting up his own research lab for JSA, but he seems stressed thinking of taking that beyond the realms of idealism.

His hand freezes beneath her palm. He glances up at her again without words, like he’s struggling with what to say. The creases between Beth’s brows deepen further with concern. “Rick?”

“I’m fine,” he lies. The smile is so fake it hurts that he thinks she could be fooled by it. 

“Come on, it’s just us. Something’s bothering you. Is it work? Did your uncle contact you for money again?”

“No, I’m fine. I promise.”

“Rick—“

“You don’t have a type. You just have a person. I know that because you’ve been my person since I was seventeen. You don’t need your mother’s fancy surgeon prodigy to sweep you off your feet, Beth. You have me.” 

“I—”

Her pulse rushes in her ears. She’s honestly speechless. Beth just sits there. Rick searches her face for some type of recognition she can’t give back because she’s just confused. She’s blinking back unexpected tears, the hand she has over his shaking, because there has to be something more to this, the gravity behind everything, but her mind keeps hitting against a blank wall. She understands what Rick is saying but not what he means. 

He sees her distress and slips out of his booth, sliding into her side. “Hey,” he says, wrapping an arm around her as she presses her wet face into his shoulder. “I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s okay.” 

Her stomach drops at the horrible way his voice sounds scratchy, thick with regret. That’s when it clicks, and the tears fall for real.

Rick is in love with her. 

She’s not crying because she’s upset. Blindly, she reaches up for his face to see him, those fond hazel eyes blinking back. They used to be so hardened and guarded, but it’s just openness now, with her. It’s late, the diner is almost empty, nothing but dim lights and the only waitress busy cleaning up behind the counter. It’s just them, in their special spot. And it’s just them, their solid partnership, that Beth needs in her life to carve out time and effort and feelings for. He’s been trying to articulate this over and over since the evening began. Hugging her tightly, lets out a long breath. The solace he finds in her, alone. The relief and love. How she feels it in equal measures, how it’s always been there.

“I didn’t know.”

“I never really told you.”

But he has, really. He’s shown her since they were kids. 

She touches his face, guiding him down so he could kiss her the way she suddenly desperately wants.

He does, kissing Beth deeply until her head goes dizzy and the light feeling is not something she ever wants to let go of. There is no extension of self when Beth is with Rick. No room to make. He already is in her future, can have all of her time. 

[mattzerella-sticks]

⭐2020 Fics in Review ⭐

Happy New Year’s Eve! 💫💫💫 2020 sure was a year... between everything that was happening on the macro (the pandemic, elections, etc.) and on the micro-level (shows delayed, some ending - disastrously, so much drama, etc.), the past 12 months felt like a blur. Especially since we’ve been inside and realized time is an illusion!

But, there were moments where I was able to ground myself in the present and not be swept away by the tide. Most of them were because of fanfiction. Whether writing or reading, fanworks became a soothing balm. And I’d be remiss (and breaking tradition) if I didn’t reflect on my past works of 2020! 

I’ve written 43 fics across a wide array of fandoms - the most being Supernatural, with 9-1-1, DC Comics, Marvel, Boku No Hero Academia, Stargirl, Star Wars, Hollywood, and RWBY sprinkled in. I really branched out this year, and am looking forward to what I will write in 2021. Maybe new fandoms? Maybe an original work? Who’s to say!

Thank you to all those who’ve read my works, and am grateful for both your support and continued engagement - can’t wait to see you in 2021 with me 😁

Here are my works!

9-1-1 (TV Show)

Caught (Evan ‘Buck’ Buckely/Eddie Diaz, side Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, side Maddie Buckley/Howie ‘Chimney’ Han)

Photobooths are prime for catching special moments and making them last forever, even if they are less both and more open spaces with a backdrop. When Athena, Bobby, and Michael stumble upon one such moment between Buck and Eddie, what will they do?

And how will it affect Maddie and Chimney?

Lumped Together (Evan ‘Buck’ Buckely/Eddie Diaz, side Henrietta ‘Hen’ Wilson/Karen Wilson, side Maddie Buckley/Howie ‘Chimney’ Han)

As an apology for keeping her thoughts about medical school secret from her wife and partner, Hen takes them (and Maddie) out for lunch. With the promise that it would only be them. And for the most part it was. Until Buck and Eddie strode in with every intention of eating Takoyaki.

Just not with them.

Armed with new information, what's a girl to do? Hen spends the next day fighting back the natural instinct to tease her friends about the wonderful step they've taken together in their relationship. Can she make it home without saying anything? Or will she give in?

DCU

Lonely Together (Barry Allen/Bruce Wayne, past Barry Allen/Iris West, past Bruce Wayne/Selina Kyle)

Barry needs others, yet whether by his enemies or his own actions, he ends up alone. After Iris leaves him, Barry feels as if he drifts through life. Like lightning humming in the air without a rod to ground him.

Until he struck another lonely soul and entered a relationship he never thought possible. Now, months since he and Bruce began sleeping with each other, Barry feels settles. At peace in a way he hasn't felt in a long while. Since he and Iris started petering out.

But it's not love... is it?

Come Home (Jason Todd/Kyle Rayner)

Jason Todd gets a message from Bruce. He's surprised to see it. Then, he's surprised by the message itself. Hearing Bruce's final message stirs something inside of him, urging him towards a place he's avoided ever since his and Bruce's falling out. So he gathers his things, and then... waits.

He can't leave yet. Jason doesn't know why. Bruce gave him a mission, just like old times. Except it's not, because he... Jason can't move. Can't even stand.

That's how Kyle finds him.

Restless (Barry Allen/Bruce Wayne)

Returning home from a mission in outer space, the team picks up a distress signal off-course. They rush off to help, landing on a strange alient planet teeming with life. Especially within the plant kingdom.

While guarding the Javelin, Bruce and Barry encounter one such member while engaging in some familiar fight-flirting. Will its effects spell trouble for the League, or help these two relax their guards long enough to explore new possibilities?

(Hint: It's a little bit of both)

Marvel

Hot Seat (Peter Parker/Johnny Storm)

Spiderman likes Johnny. Like likes him. And he thought Johnny felt the same. He wasn't wrong, but Johnny like liked someone else, too. Someone he actually wanted to pursue, over Spiderman.

Unfortunately that someone is Peter Parker.

However, after a terrible misunderstanding, Johny isn't too keen on seeing either Peter or Spiderman; the longer this confusion left unresolved, the more Johnny's hurt would fester. Can Peter find a way to make Johnny listen?

Hollywood 

Merrily We Roll Along (Archie Coleman/Rock Hudson)

With their careers still on the rise and no peak in sight, sometimes Archie's and Roy's lives get a little too busy. Understandably so. Archie's in the midst of writing his next screenplay while the latest opens across America. Roy spend more time on set than at home working on his latest project. When their schedules allow it, all they want is to be together.

Can they enjoy a simple morning together, or will the clouds of Hollywood cast a heavy shadow over their sunny day?

RWBY

Lucky You, Huh? (Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi)

After all that happened, it's time for the dust to settle. Choices were made. Now, the consequences for certain actions need to be carried out.

Even though he fought alongside her to save Mantle, Robyn Hill couldn't help save Clover from the whims of the Council. Without a job or home, Clover needs to find a way to carry on.

If anyone understands what that feels like, it's Qrow. Never being one who can communicate his feelings well, would he be the best to comfort the other man. When he's the only one who can, what does that mean for Clover?

Star Wars

Fourth (Poe Dameron/Finn)

What's a man and his co-general to do when they're on a mission together on a planet known for frequent sandstorms?

Flirt? That is a possibility. And definitely the one they take.

Stargirl

I’m Here (Courtney Whitmore/Yolanda Montez, past Yolanda Montez/Henry King, Jr.)

Coda to 1x10 "Brainwave Jr."

Losing Henry was sad, but it's not the first person Courtney knew whose future was snatched by the Injustice Society of America. That doesn't make his death any less tragic. It does remind Courtney how screwed up and dangerous her life was. At least she was able to wake up the next day and keep moving. And so was Beth, and Rick. But Yolanda...

Where was Yolanda? Courtney needs to know.

Crusher (Lawrence Crock/Paula Crock, Pat Dugan/Barbara Whitmore, Lawrence Crock/Pat Dugan)

When Lawrence met Pat, he saw another body that could benefit from some exercise at his gym. The more they interacted, became friends, he saw that body doing other things in other places. And his wife is totally supportive of this. While in the midst of an afterhours training session, Lawrence drags his feet on telling his friend a few important things. Egged on by Paula, will he say what's on his mind? How will Pat react?

And does Pat have a secret or two of his own?

Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia

Little Secrets Everywhere (Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijiro)

Mina thought letting Bakugo read whatever was in her folder wouldn't be too bad. Maybe he would snipe at her for her less than perfect English translation and sentence structure, slap her on the head with the balled up assignment. What she wasn't expecting was for him to charge with hellish fury towards her in the common room with all their friends to see.

One careless mistake leads to many things coming to light. Everyone walking away with something new to think about.

Boku No Fundanshi (Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijiro)

Bakugo Katsuki is a top student at the premier hero academy in the world. Bakugo Katsuki is a boy with the ability to use his sweat as a weapon, each droplet containing enough nitroglycerin to obliterate a phone book. Bakugo Katsuki enjoys reading manga where boys fall in love with one another. Two out of the three are commonly accepted facts. The final one is a heavily guarded secret that Bakugo protects with his life. At least until his vigilance lapses, and he loses a doujinshi.

Will he be able to recover what he lost before anyone realizes it's his? Or, by the end of this, will he have found something he didn't know he was missing?

Portmanteau (Bakugou Katsuki/Kirishima Eijiro)

Portmanteau (port·man·teau) n. a word blending the sounds and combining the meanings of two others

Like Bakugo's chosen hero name. But was that his first choice? Kirishima doesn't think so, after finding a damning piece of evidence hidden within his notes. Except it's not what he thinks, at all...

Supernatural

 Real (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

Coda to 15x09 "The Trap"

Morning after, and Sam spies a little something blossoming in the kitchen. Something that stokes the fires of his curiosity. When the scene ends, he walks in with an intent to investigate. Learn about the strange magic that happened before his eyes. How quickly Dean and Cas's relationship repaired. And what brilliant new shape it took on after Purgatory.

Will Sam be satisfied with the answer?

Half-Priced Chocolates (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

The day after Valentine's Day is great for many things. Basking in the glow of a night well spent, sharing the joy of love with your family, and eating chocolate priced considerably lower than it was the day before.

Except Sam can't enjoy any of that, because Dean won't let him. Because Dean woke up in a sour mood and has picked up the banners of war against romantic love.

Albeit, the three aforementioned things might make his conflict the shortest in history.

Spill (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Dean always thought it would take more to force him into retirement. Yet here he is, locked in the Bunker until the world figures out a cure for a deadly virus. It could be worse - at least they have a home. He cannot imagine how worse it would be if this happened years earlier, where he and Sam were trapped in a tiny motel room together. Here they have options, and miles of outdoor space they can stroll through if their options become stale.

And they were beginning to. Dean could only do so much indoors. Dean knew he needed to shake things up, but couldn't begin thinking how. Luckily Castiel has an idea, and gives him a new way of looking at their kitchen.

Supernatural Crack🩹tober

Following the Supernatural Cracktober prompt list, one day at a time.

Prompts will be listed in the notes and the chapter title.

Enjoy!

Bullets Over the Bayou (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Everyone wants Castiel Novak to quit the force, including Castiel. But he stays on despite the toxic work environment he’s surrounded by. Still believing he can do some good despite the many lines of red tape impeding him. Luckily, a pair of scissors by the name of Dean Winchester drops into his hands, and he finally feels like he can do some good.

Dean Winchester thought he would be in New Orleans for a day or two. Identify the body of his deadbeat father and then move on. No one knows he’s here. His mother and brother are blissfully unaware of the danger his father roped him into. With a parting gift of a journal, delivered to him the same day he received word about his father, Dean has become the target of a group of people who want him dead. The same people who killed his father.

Racing against the clock, can Dean and Castiel figure out what is so important about John Winchester’s journal that someone would kill for it?

Kick Ball Change (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

Coda to 15x10 "The Heroes' Journey"

Dean has the Bunker to himself at a time after he and Sam regain their supernatural abilities. With nothing needing his attention, he decides taking time for himself wouldn't hurt. But the usual fare leaves him bored and tired.

So he tries something new. Something he wanted to try, but wasn't sure he would be good at. Dean starts off strong, but doing it on your own can only be so fun. Get you so far. Luckily a partner happens by and truly allows Dean to enjoy a part of himself he knew was there, but didn't want to share.

Tempered Desires (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Charlie Bradbury/OC, background Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, background Sam Winchester/Ruby, background Sam Winchester/Mick Davies, past Dean Winchester/Arthur Ketch)

Dating, sex, and finding love were the farthest things on the minds of both Dean and Castiel. There were more important things to worry about - namely the pandemic that swept across the globe and changed everything. Navigating this new environment was hard enough without adding romance.

But fate never intervenes when you expect. From first meetings to first dates, we'll see how Dean and Castiel's relationship blossoms despite the circumstances.

Sunrise (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

Dean and Sam were free. Finally, unequivocally, free.

But this wasn't the happy ending Dean had expected. Maybe in the past, having Sam in the passenger seat tearing across an open stretch of highway as the sunsets, it'd be what he wanted. But that was years ago. He's not that man anymore. Dean's tired of sunsets, of saying goodbye. He yearns for a different ending. One that's less of an ending, and more of a beginning. A sunrise instead of a sunset.

Sam has his. Dean lost his. Despite this setback, he won't stop. He'll live in memory of his sunrise.

Except, what can he do when he feels those rays on his face again?

Coda to 15x19

Fixing It (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

Dean Winchester walked a long & difficult road. House burning down when he was 4, constantly being on the move until his father lost a fight with demons at the age of 25. Reunited with his mother only to lose her again. Have a son only to lose him, too. Of all the shadows that have crossed his path, he thought one of the main sources of light was his husband Castiel.

But he had to ruin that, too.

Can he ever have that shine again? Or are there things that are too good for him to hold? Will they mend what was broken?

Heart in My Hand (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

He was right there.

Cas was telling Dean everything he ever wanted to hear since meeting the angel of the Lord... only each and every word of his confession stabbed at Dean's heart. Because once he finished, there's no more time for them. For him. For any chance of happiness - all that taken away by the Empty. And now he has to carry on.

He tries. Stands, gets in his car and drives where Sam tells him. When he meets with the others, though...

Coda to 15x18 "Despair"

A Dumb Idea (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

They celebrated Christmas, Halloween, Thanksgiving, birthdays, even the Fourth of July. What about the other holidays? What about Valentine's Day?

Mrs. Butters actually had a plan for that, but she left before it could come to fruition. Sam, however, stumbles on Dean and a leftover piece from said plan. Something Dean would rather Sam not see. When he does get a peek as to what it is, well... Dean and Sam have a lot to talk about.

Coda to 15x14 "The Last Holiday"

What the Water Gave Him (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

It was over. Chuck lost, Sam and Dean can live their lives how they want them. But their victory wasn't without losses. The biggest upset nearly taking Dean out of the game, happening so close to the final battle. Now he's on the other side, alive against all odds, but Sam knows he isn't happy. Not truly happy since the Empty stole his best friend.

But there's a chance they can save him. A slim chance. A risk that Dean's willing to take despite every logical nerve in Sam's body screaming at him to look for better options. That threading a needle this small is too dangerous. That they don't have to take on another big bad, not anymore. That they don't have to risk their lives anymore. Dean is far past the point of listening. Dead set on this mission, Sam can only watch.

And pray his brother proves him wrong.

(Now with art from gabester-sketch)

Acutely (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Jack said he's sorry, after getting his soul back.

Jack said he's sorry, and he's looking at Dean. They're all looking at Dean.

Jack said he's sorry, and Dean can't take it. It's too much. Like a frog thrown into a boiling pot he hops out, jumping out from the room towards safety. Doing his best not to succumb to the pain.

He can't hide forever, let the wounds fester. It's too much to deal with on his own, though. Can someone help him through it?

Leeches (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Sharing a Netflix makes sense, in hindsight. Dean gets it. But that doesn't mean he appreciates seeing a bunch of profiles after his that weren't there last he checked.

He's gonna get to the bottom of this - of when this happened, why, and how they were able to guess his password.

Revival (Dean Winchester/Castiel, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

Sam and Dean stand there on the bridge, the camera panning out on them as they are finally reunited in Heaven.

But then Sam wakes up.

(Coda/Fix-It Fic to 15x20 "Carry On")

Memento (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Why did Castiel have a photo of himself in a cowboy hat? Where did he get it? Who took it, and more importantly who gave it to him?

Coda to 15x15 "Gimme Shelter"

The End (We Deserve) (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Dean Winchester dies in Sam's arms.

And then he doesn't.

(How that scene originally looked...)

Constants

Meeting with alternate versions of themselves makes Sam and Dean think about what the landscape of the former multiverse might have looked like - or, really, "If there can be multiple Deans and multiple Sams, can there be other versions of things they know. Like... Baby?"

Dean says no. There's only one Baby. She's got four wheels, black paint, and has been his from the beginning. Sam thinks otherwise.

Let's explore what the possibilities of Deans, Sams, and Babys in different universes might look like.

Enjoy the Present (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Sam had a birthday, Jack had a birthday...

It would only be fitting for Dean to have one, too. It's expected, really. Yet the one Sam and Jack throw him still catches him by surprise. Maybe because he actually agreed with Butters, about having outgrowned birthdays. Or because his thoughts were pulled elsewhere because of some disappointing news.

If it's the latter, than a birthday will definitely take his mind off of that. Especially when it comes time for his present.

Coda to 15x14 'The Last Holiday'

Swallow It Whole (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

"The older you get... the less lies make everything better"

But when you've told as many lies as Dean has, it's hard to tell what's true and what's not. How can he remove all the rotten parts of himself without bringing everything down? Which lies have ingrained themselves so firmly, that removing them would change everything about who he was?

And, scariest of them all, who would he be without those lies?

Coda to 15x16 "Drag Me (Away From You)"

Desperation, Baby! (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Death took her sweet time parsing through Chuck's book, meaning Lucifer spent longer than he'd like surrounded by his former vessel, his brother, his son, and a man whose obvious longing made him want to vomit. Instead of returning with his prize, Chuck welcoming him back, he must waste his valuable time playing 'nice; with those he can't stand.

Not that it matters. They don't trust him, each member of this ragtag group of survivors watching Lucifer in shifts. Never leaving him alone.

It's Dean's turn now, and he's driving Lucifer up a wall by doing nothing at all save for broadcasting a never-ending supply of feeling. Can he cut the signal without showing his hand, or put Dean's heart to good use?

Coda to 15x19 "Inherit the Earth"

A Healing Touch/New Experiences (Dean Winchester/Castiel, Adam/Serafina)

Maybe if Cas hadn't abandoned him, he wouldn't have agreed to Adam's offer. But with free will finally theirs, Cas made his choice, and Dean his. Now he has to live with the consequences - even if they are awkward. He won't die from it, certainly.

It's only a massage.

But what Dean doesn't know, is that it's more than a massage. It's healing.

It Feels Real Good (Claire Novak/Kaia Nieves, background Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Jody sent her to Yosemite, and she brings her back. For what reason, Claire doesn't know. But it had better be important, otherwise Claire gave the Dark Figure that stole her happiness another chance at escape. Will Jody's house hold a reason important enough for Claire to let go of the heavy burdens she's been carrying since hopping through a rift into another universe?

Coda to 15x12 "Galaxy Brain"

Through the Door (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Cas tells Sam that Chuck and Amara are here. But how does he know? Sure, he could've felt them land through his grace. But all that time Sam was gone? There was enough there that he could've investigated. They'd need to know where they were anyway, when the time came.

But Cas should've known better. Now wasn't the best moment for a little family reunion, especially when there's so much bad blood it can drown them all. Yet he came, and finally got the audience he always seeked with his father.

Coda to 15x17 "Unity"

Four of Swords (Dean Winchester/Castiel, background Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

The Four of Swords, in the present position, means you don't want to interact with the rest of the world. Because of stress, you need to spend some time with yourself - unhealthy always being 'on'. That the healthiest thing to do is to escape.

Dean might crave escape, but it's not something he thinks he can have. Something he deserves, even. After his and Sam's most recent hunt, this cancerous feeling has grown heavy and weighs him down. He cannot escape on his own, as best he tries.

Luckily a guardian 'former angel' angel swoops in at his lowest. Helps pick up the pieces as best he can and lovingly put them back together. But he can only do so much. The rest is up to Dean.

Can Dean take those final steps, say those final words, and finally free himself?

i’d like to teach the world to sing (Dean Winchester/Castiel, Castiel/Others, WIP, 10 out of 15 chapters posted so far)

Mar del Vista, California - 1972

The groovy counterculture that dominated conversation in the past few years still clings to the landscape, floating around like smoke off a burning joint. Changed by the fires of war, Manson, and life into something new. Less trusting, optimistic, and innocent.

Cas is just one of many disillusioned hippies, saddled with a general distrust even before the movement self-imploded. Wary of about everything. Perfect for his line of work, where what's on the surface might not match the truth underneath. It's not an easy life, but he's comfortable with how it goes. Coasting until he hears a case he has no business accepting. For one, it's about a missing teen. And another, it's personal.

Except Jack's disappearance, like every other case he's worked, isn't so cut and dry. Like a rock skipping across a then-placid lake, the ripples stretch far and wide. Those waves slamming at Cas; of cops, federal agents, hippie cultists, and a certain green-eyed detective who's a little too interested in Cas's investigation.

Will Cas find Jack? Or will he drown in the tides.

Checkmate (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Billie saves Jack from suffering a fatal end from her plan, and knowing Jack was safe gave Cas space to focus on his own troubles. Nearly losing his son again... revelations from Chuck... choices Dean made, were set on, until Sam broke through at the last minute - too close - they all were...

It was too much. Cas needed to digest these roiling experiences away from faces it hurt to look at. Except he stumbles exactly where Chuck wants him. After countless times praying for guidance, Chuck finally decides now is perfect for a long-awaited heart-to-heart.

Coda to 15x17 "Unity"

Slide (Dean Winchester/Castiel, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester)

This isn't his day. It's Sam's and Eileen's. But while out on the dance floor, Dean realizes something that forces him to act. Act boldly.

It's not his day, but he cannot push back what's been there all along, dam bursting with no hope or need of rebuilding itself. He has to say something to Cas.

Why? Because it's Electric... boogie woogie woogie

(Inspired by the Suptober Day 9 prompt - Electric)

Unwrap Me (Dean Winchester/Castiel)

Dean never thought he would make it this far. Nor would he have as many wonderful things that he has now. A home, friends, family, and most importantly love. With a former angel.

Given how normal his life is now, Dean decides he wants to go all out celebrating Christmas. Parties, feasts, and the perfect presents. He wants to get Cas something that will translate everything that resides in his heart. Dean believes he has the right gift, but decides against leading with it. Instead surprising Cas with it after showing him his Christmas best.

Although, during his entire time planning Cas's present, he never wondered what Cas got him...

Disappointment is temporary, but creativity is eternal 🥂 to more fanworks in 2021!!!

[smooshjames]

forget you not (ii)

your voice a serenade and it sings to my heart (or: concerts, closure, and an la sidewalk)

word count: just under 4k

a/n: part 2 of forget you not is here! again, i didn’t write any of the songs mentioned herein; all credit for the music in this story goes to little mix. links as always to the songs mentioned in this part: x, x, x, x. if you like what i do, consider buying me a coffee! it’s never obligatory but the support would certainly be appreciated. if you can’t/don’t want to donate, don’t worry about it!! i’m just grateful people take the time to read my work!

warnings: more angst teehee, an obscene amount of italic text

previous part: here

Your break seemed to pass in no time, and then it was time for mic check. You noted Courtney and Shayne sitting in the front row and wondered silently if God was punishing you for something you’d done. Maybe this was karma from a past life.

Doing your best not to look at him, and pushing down the absurd hope that he’d be looking back at you if you did, you went through mic check as quickly as possible and made your way back into the safety of the dressing room. With mic check done, the concert would begin in less than an hour, and you were starting to reconsider singing Towers. The front row of the arena was close enough to the stage that you’d be able to see him even with all the stage lights, and you weren’t sure you could sing the song if you had to actually look him in the eye while you did it. It was one thing to know he was in the room, another entirely to actually watch his reactions.

But Carly had already gotten Michelle to coordinate with the sound people and the backup dancers, and you didn’t want to have to force them to go back on all that. You couldn’t back out now.

That knowledge weighed on you up to the start of the show, and then you got your game face on. You had no time to dwell on Shayne once you were out of the dressing room, doing warmups as you made your way to the lift below the stage, performing your pre-show ritual which involved some call-and-response singing and a lot of hugs, and then getting into position on the lift which would bring you up from beneath the stage floor.

You could already hear the audience cheering and talking, and you felt your heart skip a beat at the sound of it. You counted out the beats in your head as the intro music started, the lights began to flash, the dancers got into place, and the lift began to rise.

“Make way for the G-O-double-D-E-S-S.” The mantra of your newest album, and the way you began your show. The band harmonized this phrase a few times before the song, and the concert, began in earnest.

It went well. You were right; you could just make out Shayne’s face even through all the stage lights. But for the first few songs, you were so occupied with remembering your choreography and making sure you sounded good that you could sort of forget he was there.

And then it was time for Towers, and your heart fell into your stomach.

“We’ve got a little bit of a treat for you tonight,” Alexis said. The audience quieted slightly as she spoke, obviously wanting to know what she was talking about. “We’re gonna take it back a little bit. We haven’t sung this live in quite some time, so forgive us if it’s a bit rusty.”

You heard the familiar drumbeat of Towers begin to play. The audience started screaming immediately, obviously recognizing the song right away, and you grinned despite your nerves. For the time being, you managed to keep your eyes off of Shayne. You focused instead on Carly as she began to sing the first verse of the song.

And then it was your verse, and you stared out at the sea of nondescript shapes that made up the majority of the audience; you could only see the first few rows before they became dark, vaguely person-shaped forms. “It’s a shame, you’re to blame, ‘cause once you owned my heart,” you sang. It sounded a little wobbly, but overall it was okay.

You made it through the first line of your verse before your eyes betrayed you. You couldn’t stop yourself any longer; you looked at Shayne.

He was staring directly at you. You couldn’t make out much of his expression, but it seemed… pained, like he was sad.

The sound died in your throat and you heard the audience murmur as you stopped singing. You looked from Shayne to the rest of the audience and then to Carly, who was nodding in an attempt to be encouraging. You took a deep, shuddery breath, frantically trying to get your shit together. You could hear the audience trying to help you by singing the lyrics you were missing, and you were vaguely aware of Alexis and Piper holding their microphones out to the crowd in encouragement, but everything was sort of blurry.

You kept your eyes locked on Carly. You would not look at Shayne. You couldn’t. You knew that he was hearing you, and that would just have to be enough. You opened your mouth to sing again.

“I still feel love when I see your face, but all these tears I can’t erase.” Luckily, you had only missed a couple of bars of the song and were able to pick up just about where you had left off. You hoped the audience would just chalk it up to what Alexis said before the song started; it had been a while since you’d sang Towers live. “Sorry heart, I’m sorry heart but we’ll have to start again.”

And then, like an angel from heaven on high, Piper began to sing. You had a momentary reprieve to collect yourself and take a deep breath. Since performing this song was so impromptu, there was no choreography for you to remember, nothing to think about as Piper sang her bit.

The second chorus was yours, and you weren’t sure what came over you but you looked at Shayne again as you began to sing and this time, you didn’t stop. You didn’t look away. Maybe it was all the pent-up emotion finally being released, or maybe it was just the energy in the room making you braver than you might’ve normally been, but you held his gaze through the chorus: “you never brought me flowers, never held me in my darkest hours. And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing, nothing in towers. Once we were made like towers. Everything could’ve been ours, but you left it too late, now my heart feels nothing, nothing at all.”

You felt a tear drip down your cheek as you sang, but you forced yourself to push through it. You were sure the audience had probably noticed the shaky quality of your voice by now.

You continued to look at Shayne while Alexis began singing the bridge. You thought you saw him reach up and wipe at his face like he was wiping away a tear, but that was probably a trick of the stage lights. It had to be. Why would he be crying?

As the final chorus began and Piper belted out her high notes, you watched him in sort of a daze. He reached up to swipe at his cheek again, and then he stood up and started walking toward the exit. You lost him in the crowd almost immediately.

If that was what closure was supposed to feel like, then closure was pretty fucking useless.

***

The evening air hit Shayne like a freight train as he stumbled out of the arena and into the night. He took in a gulp of air and wiped at the tears on his cheeks, letting out a pitiful noise of frustration and anguish. He sat on the edge of the sidewalk. He bowed his head between his knees, ran his hands through his hair, and tried to remember how to breathe.

It had been going alright, all things considered. He felt a little bit like he was getting the shit beat out of him as he watched you grind on backup dancers and sing about love and moving on and strength and how you didn’t need a man, but other than that he’d been having fun; the show was good, not just from a musical standpoint but from a technical standpoint as well. He could tell that you and your bandmates had put countless hours into learning dance routines on top of singing everything, which was really impressive. Costumes and special effects made the show feel complete.

And you had been utterly ethereal, silhouetted by stage lights and grinning as you walked around the stage like you owned it. It had seemed, for a while, that you were having the time of your life. That you’d forgotten he was even there.

Your bandmate -- Alexis or Piper, he couldn’t be positive which -- said you were doing an older song, and Courtney reached out to grab his forearm like she’d just won the lottery. When the intro started playing, she shot out of her seat to sing along. For the first few seconds, it was fine. Just another song.

When you started to sing, though, you looked at him, and he felt his heart ripped from his chest and stomped into the ground like it meant nothing. You seemed so sad, so angry, so accusatory. And you had every right to be, he knew.

But it was when you stopped singing, when you made that little sound that he knew meant you were about to cry, it was then that the room slowed and shrank around him. The air was punched out of his lungs and he couldn’t seem to get any more. He felt like his world had gone off-kilter, like he was careening at lightspeed into the sun.

You tore your eyes away from him and looked at Carly, who nodded at you. You seemed to find your voice again, and oh, it was like fire curling out from his ribs and up into his throat. He was utterly transfixed by you; he couldn’t look away even as one of your other bandmates began to sing.

“You never bought me flowers,” you sang, and you were looking at him again, all that sadness and fire behind your eyes. He felt his throat spasm around a sob, felt his eyes burn. “Never held me in my darkest hours.” God, you were right; he’d fucked up so monumentally. “And you left it so late that my heart feels nothing, nothing in towers.” This was when the tears started to fall.

The rest of your words were sort of a blur. All he could focus on was your eyes boring into his.

Eventually, he couldn’t take it anymore. He stood up and rushed out, and now here he was, close to hyperventilation on a gross LA sidewalk.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. It was Courtney asking where he’d gone, making sure he was okay. He typed back that he had just needed to get some air. He was grateful when she didn’t reply.

In all honesty, he wasn’t sure how long he sat on that sidewalk. He didn’t want to go back inside. He wasn’t sure if he could see you without dissolving into tears all over again. He wanted to go home; or, even better, he wanted to go to Damien’s and cry on his couch and eat ice cream until he couldn’t think straight. But he knew Courtney would be worried and disappointed if he left early, and she would push him for a reason, and he couldn’t tell her. This was her favorite band. 

He didn’t want to change her opinion just because he was still pining over a relationship that ended years ago.

He sniffled, stood up, and dusted off his jeans. Before he went back inside, he sent Damien a text asking if he could come over after the concert. Damien’s answer came quickly; sure, he wasn’t busy. Shayne let out a sigh of relief and made his way back into the arena.

You didn’t look at him for the rest of the show.

***

Luckily, the concert ended sooner rather than later. You and your bandmates waved and called goodbyes as you disappeared beneath the stage floor. Shayne, anxious to get out of the arena, was out of his seat as soon as the house lights turned back on. He rocked up on the balls of his feet while Courtney gathered her stuff.

Once she was ready to go, Shayne began pushing through the crowds toward the exit. It took a while, but he finally managed to get out of the building with Courtney in tow.

“So, did you like it?” she asked as they walked back to their cars. Shayne stuffed his hands into his pockets and did his best not to look like a kicked puppy.

“Yeah, it was pretty good,” he said.

“I thought it was great. I was so surprised when they sang Towers; it’s one of my favorite songs by them. And they all sounded so great, too.”

Shayne tuned her out for most of the walk, too deep in his own feelings to give Courtney his full attention. Once they made it back to their cars, they hugged and went their separate ways.

He’d never been so anxious to get to Damien’s.

He was greeted, as usual, by the cats. They meowed up at him and twined around his legs, almost like they knew he was upset. He leaned down to scratch behind their ears. Damien shouted a greeting from the kitchen.

Shayne didn’t respond, just toed off his shoes and went to sit down on the couch. He leaned back against the throw pillows and closed his eyes for a while, lulled into a sort of trance by the sound of the sink running in the kitchen.

Shayne turned up on Damien’s doorstep with hunched shoulders and red-rimmed eyes. He reached for the doorknob and, as Damien had said he would, found it unlocked. Zelda and Freyja swarmed around his legs as he entered, purring and twining around him. He smiled softly down at them but didn’t stoop to pet them. He was pretty sure if he crouched to their level he wouldn’t be able to get back up; the exhaustion and sadness and disappointment in his system felt so intense, so bone-deep and pervasive, that he was fairly certain he might keel over unconscious any second.

He shuffled over to the couch and collapsed onto it, groaning into one of the throw pillows. He’d only been there for a minute or so when Damien emerged from the bathroom. Shayne heard his friend suck in a sharp inhale at the sight of him and realized that Damien probably hadn’t heard him come in. “Sorry,” he said, “didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s fine,” Damien replied. “I just didn’t realize you’d get here so fast. You want something to drink?”

Shayne thought for a second and then decided against it. “No,” he replied. “I’m not thirsty.”

Damien didn’t respond, though Shayne did hear his footsteps receding into the kitchen. He came back after a few seconds with a bottle of water. Once he had made himself comfortable on the couch and taken a long drag of said water, he peered at Shayne for a long moment. Shayne didn’t look back at him; he was fixated on a point off to Damien’s left, and he was only half-aware of his surroundings, anyway. He didn’t need to look at Damien’s face to know what he’d find there: confusion, disappointment, probably some anger.

“What happened?” Damien asked. That question was almost worse than the uncomfortable silence.

“I don’t know,” Shayne replied, and it wasn’t a lie. “I don’t… dude, I don’t fucking know. I panicked, I ended things, and she just… she just left. She didn’t even try to fight it.”

“Please tell me that’s not you trying to blame her for this,” Damien said, and Shayne could hear the anger creeping steadily further into his voice. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrubbed a hand over his face, and reached for the water bottle. He downed the rest of it and set it on the end table. With the water gone, he sat up and turned so that he could face Damien.

“I’m not. It’s my fault. I’m not stupid enough to try to deny that.”

“Well, you’re stupid enough to end a three-year relationship for no good goddamn reason, so at this point, I’m not a hundred percent sure where all of your brain cells have fucked off to.”

Shayne grimaced at the biting words as if Damien had taken a physical swing at him, unable to help the wounded sound that lodged itself in his throat. He didn’t try to fight it, though. Damien was right.

There was a moment of tense silence. Damien sighed and shook his head, and then his form softened; his shoulders relaxed and some of the ire left his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That was harsh. I just… I’m just confused, dude. I thought you guys were happy. This is kind of coming out of nowhere.”

“The other day, we talked about getting married. And we both agreed that it was something we wanted.”

Damien’s brow furrowed. “Oh… kay?” he said slowly, sounding out each vowel. “That kind of proves my point, Shayne.”

“Today, I got home and she was sitting on the couch and she asked me how my day was and I panicked. Suddenly, it was just… too much. And I started talking before I could think about it. And from there it was like I was completely out of control, like I couldn’t shut myself up. The look on her face… that look is gonna haunt my fucking dreams. And by the time I realized what I had done, by the time I was about to get down on my knees and beg her to stay, she was gone.”

Another long few seconds of silence. Shayne realized with a start that he was crying. He took a shuddering breath and wiped at the tears on his cheeks.

“I’m scared, Dames,” he continued. “She didn’t fight it. She just… she just packed a bag and went. Maybe she wanted this, maybe she was waiting to tell me. Maybe she wasn’t happy. Maybe that’s why she didn’t fight.”

Damien looked at him like he had grown a second head. “You’re crazy, Shayne. She was… she is so utterly in love with you. Think about the shit you’ve gone through together. Do you honestly believe that she would’ve stuck around this long if she wasn’t happy with you?”

“I texted her after she left,” Shayne said. “Right before I texted you. I apologized and asked if we could talk more. She hasn’t responded.”

“Can you blame her?” Damien asked. Shayne shrugged feebly. “She’s probably with Carly right now. I’d bet any money Carly told her not to answer, and that’s probably for the best. Wait at least until tomorrow and give her a call. You both need a little time to calm down, but you can still fix this.”

Shayne nodded, but he knew deep down that it was done. You were done.

Shayne was startled out of his memories as, in the present, Damien sat down on the couch next to him. He opened his eyes and looked at his best friend, and he knew without having to see himself that he had the same expression as he’d had five years ago; shocked, distant, utterly devastated.

“You okay, man?” Damien asked. Shayne scrubbed his hand over his face and let out a long, frustrated sigh. “That bad?”

“You’ll never guess who I ran into today,” Shayne began. Damien didn’t say anything, just sort of cocked his head as a sign for Shayne to continue. “Y/N, of all people.”

Damien perked up at the mention of your name, but then shrank back down and made a sympathetic sound in the back of his throat. “Was she at the concert or something?”

“Oh, not only was she at the concert,” Shayne said. He surged upward so that he was sitting up straight, feeling a surge of frustration course through him. “No, she’s in the fucking band.”

Damien’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped into a sort of shocked “oh” shape. Shayne nodded and threw his hands in the air for emphasis.

“So not only am I caught completely off guard seeing her again during the photo op or whatever, but then I’ve gotta watch her for the whole concert. And she sang this song that I just --” his voice died in his throat as he remembered the look on your face, that same look from years ago, so wholeheartedly hurt.

“I’m sorry, Shayne,” Damien said. It was clear that he wasn’t sure what to do. “Do you wanna talk more or do you wanna take your mind off it?”

Shayne sighed again. “I think I just need a distraction. Let’s find a comedy special or something to watch.”

Damien nodded and turned the TV on, scrolling through Netflix until he found something they agreed upon. Shayne drifted in and out of sleep for a while, exhausted from the emotional whiplash of the day, before he finally passed out on Damien’s couch.

***

He woke up to a sharp pain in his neck and the smell of bacon frying in the kitchen.

“Morning,” Damien greeted him as he entered. “Figured I’d make some breakfast.”

Shayne nodded his thanks and went to the fridge for some water, and then he sat down on a stool at the breakfast counter. His phone was almost dead, but there was just enough power to make sure he hadn't missed anything important. He checked his texts, listened to a voicemail from his dentist’s office about an upcoming appointment, and then scrolled through his emails.

There was one in his work inbox which caught his eye; the filming schedule for the upcoming week. He clicked on the email and scrolled down until he got to the attached document. At the top, Monday, he and Damien would be filming a guest Try Not to Laugh. When his eyes scanned across the page to see who the guest was, his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach.

There, written in clear, bold print, was the name of your band.

And Shayne’s lungs were caving in all over again.

[rainbowstrashpile]

Softer, Softest

Testing a WIP here. Wanted to see if anyone was interested.

Wesker crawls out of the volcano (because of course he does), and the BSAA retrieves the remains. Chris, ever the hero, wants to help what’s left of him. Unfortunately the BSAA isn’t in the business of rehabilitating terrorists, but they can’t deny a founding member. So they compromise. How convenient then, that Wesker himself had perfected mind control technology.

Warnings for mind control and a brief description of non-consensual touching. However, that touching is not sexual in nature. Brief implication of child abuse. Admittedly a dark premise but becomes fluff.

Laid low, passive, doll like. Redfield could have him in ways he never had before. Quiet. Domesticated. Soft. Umbrella’s ubermensch, the western world’s idea of male beauty, gene selected and designed then broken on their wheel, now belonged to him. Empty, vacuous, acquiescent for the very first time. Briar Rose sleepwalking through Chris' apartment, barefoot and dreamy eyed.

It was, admittedly, not an ideal situation; but Chris wasn’t the type to take advantage of that. He knew the guilt would eat him from the inside if he allowed any injustice to happen, even to Wesker. Perhaps especially to Wesker. Greatest love of Chris’ life, much to his own chagrin.

As it stands, he likes to chat at him. Explain his favorite parts of movies while he runs his fingers through his hair. Something he'd never gotten to do before but always wanted to. He's a warm, solid weight against him as he stares blankly ahead. Chris' very own dolly. But he feels he's nice about it. Tries to be understanding of the person stuck somewhere deep inside. "I know you would have hated this. But someday, you'll be able to make your own choices again." Because Chris refuses to think of Albert as beyond redemption. Refuses to think that people who have been so traumatized are beyond repair. Albert just needs help. He just needs to be shown a gentle touch. A shred of humanity. And Chris wants to be the one to try.

                                         ____________________

It was warm here. Hazy. Almost pleasant. And that was...abnormal. Somehow he knew it wasn’t supposed to be like this. That this state of being was somehow temporary. But he couldn't bring himself to struggle against it; stick his head above the bathwater doze he both languished and lavished in. The instinct to hold still and do as you’re told still strong. Maybe he had been taught too well as a child…

Something in Wesker fizzled; acid mixed with alkali, a chemical reaction that made him twitch. Something in him remembered fear. Nervous system fighting against the weight of the lull, trying to beat back the lassitude. He felt a tension in the back of his throat, burbling up through his mouth in the form of a whine, high pitched and animal. His heartbeat increased from its sluggish rhythm, suddenly thundering against his ribs in a frenzy. 

He didn’t want to be here. This feeling, whatever it was, was hiding something terrible. A leviathan lurking in the depths, rising quickly to pull him down with a burden too terrible to bear. A knowledge that would break him. But as he was now, Wesker was powerless to stop it.

He wanted to run. To bolt in any direction; a rabbit with a wolf on its heels. But to where he couldn’t say. He was vaguely aware of the fact he didn’t know where he was. Hadn’t for a while now. And when he tried to stand, his knees gave out and he sagged to the floor; more terrible softness greeting him at the end of his fall.

“Hey now,” a voice said softly. “It’s okay. I’m here! I’m here. I’ve got you.”

Warmth again, but a different kind. Not a chemical buzz to lay him out, keep him in a fog, but a real heat. Soft skin hoisting him up against something solid, something that smelled like castile soap and laundry detergent, just a hint of sharp aftershave cutting through.

The monsters lurking just below the surface dove back down into the murk, settling once again in the depths. Far away from the safety the voice and warmth promised.

It seemed easy now, to surrender. To let the fog and softness over take him; drown out the fear buzzing and fomenting in the back of his mind. Peace descended once again, and he let out a shaky breath in relief. Nothing hurt here, trapped in the comforting static of whatever had been done to him. Sweetly restrained, or perhaps sheltered, by the solid mass holding him.

                                        ____________________

Wesker went limp in his grasp, head sagging against his shoulder. Chris ran his fingers gently through blond hair, nudging his nose against Wesker’s forehead. “It’ll all be okay. You’re safe here. I promise.” It didn’t irk him that Wesker’s arms didn’t reach out, didn’t hold onto him for comfort or even support. Acquiescence was the best that could be expected. That he had so quickly calmed was the most he could ask for, all things considered. He hoped that meant Al trusted him on some level. Knew that Chris wouldn’t hurt him. 

Chris settled Wesker back on the sofa, mindful not to crowd him after as he sat down as well. “I wish you could tell me what set you off. I really do only want to help you. And I know all this is kinda messed up. But maybe it’s the only way to show you not everyone is bad. Not everyone is trying to use each other for personal gain.” And now that he’s speaking, it all tumbles out. A mishmash jumble of feelings and stray thoughts, pouring past his lips. Dumb mouth to deaf ear.  

“I-I never tried to use you...back in STARS, you know. I wasn’t trying to sleep my way to the top or blackmail you or anything like that. And I don’t think you were using me either. Not really. I think- I think if you really hadn’t cared about me at all, back in the mansion, you would have killed me. Or at least you wouldn’t have helped me out as much. You had no reason to. Help me, that is. We never would have suspected you of anything. We trusted you. All of us trusted you. Which is why we were all so angry at you after. But somehow, you and I just couldn't stay away from each other. I never could stop loving you, no matter how much I tried..” Chris lapses into silence for a moment, wondering if Wesker is listening. If he can understand anything he’s saying to him. Chris hopes he can, somewhere in there. 

Slowly, gently, Chris reaches out to Wesker-to Al, to take his hand into his own, running his thumb over the creases of his knuckles. Wesker doesn’t react, just stares straight ahead vacantly. “It would be nice if we could be like this for real. Maybe someday. But I’d settle for you being at peace, even if that doesn’t involve me. Though I think I would still miss you. Or maybe the idea of you; the concept of what we could have been.” Chris squeezes his hand again, for good measure.

To Wesker, the voice means something. Words have ceased to have definition, but the tone carries through the message, or at the very least the core emotions behind them. He can’t reply. And even if he could he isn’t sure what he would say, or if he even remembers any words at all. But this...this is important. The lilt and drone of the voice makes him want things. Things he’d had before. How terrible, then, that he didn’t have whatever it was anymore. How stupid if him, to have lost it. The hand holding his squeezes again, and he wants to squeeze back. He’s so tired, and effort seems herculean.

But somehow, he manages; his grip a weak pulse, falling away as quickly as it had started.

But it’s enough. Chris feels it. And a delicate hope blooms in his chest.

                                                 ___________

                                                      end...?

Your girl here has ADHD real bad and wrote some stuff. This is in a document titled Plant 69;) because I couldn't think of a title so I gave up and went with a Courtney Love reference. I’ll mail you some squished up candy bars if you can find the other one hidden in here. Now that we are having a Resident Evil renaissance (a REnaissance, if you will) and I’m not the only one craving sub Wesker I figured it was a good time to participate. Nothing here that hasn’t happened to other characters in canon so I figure if you’re in the fandom you’re already okay with some problematic stuff. Which is good because unfortunately everything I write is...dark and designed to be uncomfortable. At least this one has a happy ending.