#I Missed You... A Lot
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
25K notes
·
View notes
Text
Remember how Miss Pauling said she'd spent her whole life to help the administrator....
She didn't even know what she was helping with, but she wanted to be by her side, until she learned how deeply personal and self destructive the whole thing was... and in the end there never was going to be a 'place' set for her :^(
I'm so sorry Flo 😭
#tf2#team fortress 2#miss pauling#flo pauling#hell yeah full name time#I know she grieved real bad after all this#well i mean duh that was... a lot#and she was tempted to restart that cycle too#i was sad to not see her at the party at the end of the comic :^(((#that found fam saved all those mercs from the cycle and not seeing P there was harddd#comic seven my beloved#you were not what i expected but i was so glad for you
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
More of the Silco survives AU! This is part three. Part 1 and Part 2
The girls learn the truth and Silco gets a taste of a monster
#my art#sketchy sketch#zaundads#vanco#vander#silco#arcane warwick#I wanted to finish these before I leave to my folks so they're a bit messy#you send me a lot of asks about how horrified Vi would be about learning that silco and vander were a thing#and you guys were so right#I miss you -> straight to fucking I guess#there's scenes missing in between sketches as you can see but ya know#anyway here ya goooo I'm off to the train station
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
the end of an era.
I did my best to give them all good lives.
#aglet#furby#wheat thick#chiefcake#my allergies have been getting worse and worse#so chiefcake was the last rabbit for me. and man what a finisher#she had an excess of personality and made it everyone's problem. I already miss you a lot bud
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
charm stat at debonair ‼️‼️
#WOW WHO WOULD HAVE FUCKING THOUGHT THEYD BE MY FAVORITES. THIS TOTALLY WASNT EXPECTED. NOT AT ALL.#i have lots of persona art its just uncolored dw#doing the shujin trio next i miss them so bad☹️☹️ also i need pegoryu content to stay sane and alive#anyway they're like. actually fucking insane 💀💀💀💀#like lawlight level toxic yaoi its so absurd#like i was like damn soukoku is intense WHO ARE THESE FREAKS#WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY LIKE THIS.#ACTUALLY FUCKING INSANE. LIKE EXTREMELY MENTAL AND SICK IN THE HEAD.#AKECHI IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH#god they actually make me so fucking AUAUAUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHH#i NEED to finish royal shidos palace GUTTED ME#they were initially so funny to me bc right off the bat you can tell how much of a FREAK akechi is just paraphrasing hegel#and being so ferevently obsessed with ren its like bro why is this guy straightup dickriding us for telling him we like our eggs well done#ANYWAY their dynamic always felt so sad to me bc it was akechi just desperately clawing for what ren had the entire time ☹️#and the more he realized how worthless he was in comparison the more mentally unhinged he became until he actually broke#me when the trope is “the love was there but it wasn't enough to save them” 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 (FUCKING DEVASTATING)#ermmm anyway yea they're neat. ig#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you
#art#comic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#infinite the jackal#sonic fanart#sonic#sonic forces#My funny BTS on this comic is Shadow's initial response was 'sounds like cope but okay' but I wanted something less internet-pilled LOL#I've drawn more Sonic Forces fanart than I intended but it is EXCLUSIVELY because I think Infinite is SO funny#I'm gonna shove him in a locker#Bro lost a fight once and it shattered his self esteem#He's been practicing his evil laugh for months and when he finally gets his chance Shadow hits him with the 'I don't know you'#Also since this is taking off I want to clarify: I am a hater in the silly sense. I understand why Infinite has fans#The bones of a good character are there it’s just the writing of this game failed him So Bad#Forces is my least fave Sonic game but I can’t stop thinking about it because of its missed potential#Forces tries to make a lot of very serious plot points but the impact is just not there. It becomes unintentionally funny as a result
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
"aphobia doesn't exist"
bitch literally not that long ago an aroace youtuber animator was insulted by almost half of its community for being it
#i did some research about it and found out that the problem was principally that she had previous experience in the romantic area#so people just didn't take her seriously and said she was lying#even though she stated multiple times that she wasn't comfortable in those situations#now things are more calmed but damn#mind your own bussiness#i believe she knows more about herself than you#sorry if i offended you with this comment but i hate how aro/ace/aroace people are always left behind#insulted and rejected because they “dont know what they are talking about”#or because they “just have to wait for the right person”#or because they are “psychopaths and they are missing something”#i love that animator and she helped me realise a lot about myself#and now that i know the context i think i will start making a list and killing aphobes one by one#aromantic#arospec#asexual#aroace#acespec
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
brothers, wherever we are
#opgraphics#one piece#artists on tumblr#portgas d. ace#monkey d. luffy#sabo#asl brothers#op fanart#one piece fanart#merry xmas. i present to you some bittersweet asl#having massive feelings abt them.... i miss them#dude. i have missed painting A LOT#.art
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
that one twitter trend
#pearlescentmoon#geminitay#secret life smp#shiny duo#mcyt#fanart#i miss my wife (secret life) tails. i miss her a lot#i know a new life serie is coming in a few months and im so happyyyyyyyy#im so patient im sooo good at waiting#anyway woe#shiny duo boogy apocalypse as a gift to you#WAIT#I FORGOT THEIR SHOELACES LMAO#ON THE SHOELACES STEALING SITE? CRAZY#anyway#i dont have anything else to say so stay hydrated and have a good day
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
need a boyfriend except he’s not my boyfriend and he’s just some weird guy i drag around with me everywhere
#they r in my brain like marbles. rollin around in there#my art#dsmp#dream smp#dsmp fanart#dream smp fanart#beeduo#cbeeduo#c!tubbo#c!ranboo#beeduo fanart#tubbo fanart#ranboo fanart#i miss them a lot#i feel i should clarify i do read cbeeduo as romantic but you can take these howevere you like heart emoji!!!#update i edited the doodle a little bit bc tubbo’s shoulders were uneven and it was pissing me off#c!beeduo#tubbo underscore#ranboo beloved
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
i feel like many people use "straight"...wrong
it's used a lot to mean cis, het, allo, perisex, etc.
basically just not lgbtq+ at all
but that's not true
trans people can be straight and lgbtq+
intersex people can be straight and lgbtq+
neopronoun users can be straight and lgbtq+
arospec people can be straight and lgbtq+
acespec people can be straight and lgbtq+
polyamorous people can be straight and lgbtq+
genderfluid, bigender, and other gender non-conforming people can be straight and lgbtq+
people who are biromantic, panromantic, etc. and heterosexual or vice versa are still lgbtq+
and there are so many more identities that can absolutely be both
straight does not mean not lgbtq+
#queer#lgbtq+#queer pride#trans#neopronouns#aromantic#asexual#polyamorous#genderfluid#bigender#biromantic#not a rant#and please don't come at me if i missed something#or did something wrong#i really tried to include most people i could think of#if you have a suggestion lmk but pls don't attack me#:)#i think someone has said something like this before#and if anyone could find the og post that'd be cool#cuz i was thinking about that post a lot while doing this#lgbtq+ pride#babna 😨#intersex
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
ok someone please correct me if i'm wrong but am i weird for thinking those 'audiobooks don't count as reading' posts are ableist as fuck????
#ramble#my first thought was like: how is this even a debate what about blind people. not every book comes in braille but MOST have an audiobook#or dyslexic people#you still enjoyed the book!! you still absorbed it!!! you got EXACTLY the same thing as people who read the words!!!#how does it not count????#i guess you miss out on the 'learning new vocab' you get through seeing the words but also#i don't really do audiobooks but i do a lot of podcasts esp fiction podcasts#and i have ABSOLUTELY picked up new stuff from there that helps with my writing#someone please explain how this is even an argument of COURSE it counts????#idk in my opinion finishing a book means 'i put the words in my brain and i thought about them and i enjoyed a story'#not 'i held a stack of paper in my hands for a bit'#i'm v lucky that i do have time to sit and read. and whenever i commute anywhere it's public transport so i CAN bring a book with me#but if i didn't have the free time or had to drive for hours everywhere i would be STOKED to still get to enjoy books#it's been REALLY bothering me lmao idk why i feel so strongly#for some reason it's giving the same energy as like. being told you can't take a comic or manga from the library bc it's not a 'real' book#of course it's a real book it's a story somebody wrote down#i can see this spiralling into 'if you have a kindle you aren't reading'. you have to sniff the paper. feel the papercuts
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I don't have a caption for this one tbh
#bitts posts#my pics#nsft#ns/fw#i took SUCH a good pic last night but its just full closeup on both holes so i suuuuuper cant post it#but man. if i could#anyway you get a lil dimmly lit tease instead#been thinking a lot about the kind of dominance thats both gentle and overwhelmingly present#dominance like a kiss on the forehead and a hand over your nose and mouth yknow??#i miss having someones full attention on me in that heady possessive way that says theyd do anything for me just as much as theyll break me#do you guys know what im talking about
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
Ghouls night out
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#Scopophobia#Don't be mean Lan Wangji - the dead girl aesthetic is a curated one. Support women's rights to look dead!#I have been waiting for this scene for ages...the ghost girl entourage is such a good look for WWX.#And by gods does the audio drama actually do something interesting with one of them.#Namely that we actually get to see WWX talk with them and learn about who they were and what they left behind.#I love necromancer characters but it's way too common for them to be like “Go! Ghost no.145!” like they're a pokemon#and not...you know...someone who had a whole life that they left behind.#I love me a necromancer who has an awareness to whose soul/body they are using. It adds a lot of flavour!#MDZS is a little hit or miss with this. I think the fans do a lot of the work with making Mo Xuanyu a bigger character.#Yi City has this in spades. Even though we don't individually get character backstories#We get many painful reminders about how these 'corpses' were people.#We also get a few lines about how WWX used whatever corpses he could get his hands on (including grandparents - Woof!)#MDZS often (but not always) likes to remind us that every sacrifice and every ghost was a person.#It is so close to nailing the landing regarding the deconstruction of the necromancer character.#Anyhow. You may have noticed the uptick in quality in the last two comics. Rule of three means next one is going to be a treat B*)#See you all very soon!
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
once upon a time, there was a player
#statue is based on the statue in the hypixel post about technos memorial#background is based on the farming area in the hypixel lobby - i just took a lot of creative liberties#technoblade#my art#i miss him a lot and ive been meaning to draw something like this for almost a year now but it just never felt right#happy birthday‚ technoblade‚ and thank you
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about the way ghost doesn't hesitate to start killing shadows when graves betrays them but soap only takes one hostage
you can almost hear the voice in his head telling him it doesn't have to be this way; they can still talk it out
"i'm calling shepherd"
his first instinct when confronted with betrayal is to play it by the books: to go up the chain. that goes against everything we've seen him do. he bucks authority at every chance except for the one time he's confronted with the barrels of his allies' guns
he wants a peaceful resolution; for the first time we've ever seen, he doesn't want violence to be the answer. there has to be another fix, a solution that doesn't end with him killing the same men he's been working with; his friends
nothing's happened yet
it doesn't have to go this way
but ghost has been betrayed before. he knows the way this ends; either with him six feet under or his enemy
he doesn't hesitate
it's only when they knock alejandro out that soap shoots; when they spill the first blood and cross a line they can never come back from
only when ghost orders him to run and he has to cover his retreat
and somewhere along the line, between civilians’ screams and taunting voices, between his shaking breath and ghost steady in his ear, that naivety is stripped away; his trust turned to teeth that he uses to sink into throats of men he'd have given his life for
"be careful who you trust, sergeant; people you know can hurt you the most"
he's learned the price of trust
just like ghost did
but unlike ghost, he has someone to guide him through the aftermath
"good advice, It"
#im gonna add these to my notfics on ao3 i think i have a Lot of these floating around#a bit shorter than my other metas but i think its something that gets missed when people talk about alone#soap is a violent man#his career literally trains him to shoot first ask questions later#and yet he still tries his best to avoid blood when faced with betrayal#and you realise it actually does fit him#soap cares about the men he serves with#he wants to save the men at the crash site he checks on a downed soldier he asks about civilians about alejandros family#hes very tuned into the people around him#and he cant turn that off until hes forced to#until graves gives him a reason to hate him#and all of that previous care and consideration goes out the window#‘makes me want to commit a few war crimes of my own’#dont cross soap#you want like what happens if you do#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#talk meta to me#soap cod#john soap mactavish#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghoap#ghostsoap#soapghost#meta#phillip graves#graves cod#save post
1K notes
·
View notes