#letitcia

[perceptionculture]

PERCEPTION CULTURE RECOMMENDS: a selection of 60s horror films

Films featured in this selection: The Evil Eye (1963), Kwaidan (1964), Blood and Roses (1960).

[donatomacchi]

El Tercer mes sin Ti

Te tengo aquí pero estás lejos. Estás aquí y muy presente, pero no te puedo ver, no te puedo tocar, no puedo decir cosas al oído en voz bajita ni verte a los ojos por horas, no puedo escucharte, pero de todas maneras estás presente. Si cierro los ojos aquí estás, aunque suena ilógico, aunque después de tres meses solo te haya visto 7 días, y solo haya podido escucharte a través del teléfono, aquí estás. Me doy cuenta lo importante que es tenerte y tener conmigo tu corazón, y que tu tengas el mío, porque al día de hoy tenerte es el mejor bien que tengo. Tenerte a distancia o no, lo que importa es tenerte. Porque eres más que algo físico, porque aunque tu cuerpo no este aquí, tu imagen, tu hermosa personalidad y risa si viaja 4000 km a que la pueda percibir. Sé que a veces ha sido frustrante y que a veces dan ganas de no pensar en el otro porque puede ser doloroso y desgastante, pero yo prefiero si hacerlo, porque lo que yo quiero es tenerte y compartir contigo de la manera que sea. Sea en recuerdos, por el teléfono, por la pantalla del celular, por mensaje o hasta en sueños, eso es mejor que no tenerte para nada. Y mientras sigas aquí presente no hay nada ni nadie que haga que este amor por ti deje de crecer, no para, no hay fin.

[milanima]

I'm not surprised about Miss Lavender. The old trout made more enemies in a month than Genghis Khan in a lifetime

Letitcia Prout, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Away with the Fairies

[best-for-needlework]

Одному не плывётся, другому пока не летится…

http://best-for-needlework.tumblr.com

Время водит нас за нос, но всё ещё длится и длится. Что даровано рыбе, возможно, изъято у птицы. Мне неведомо, как действует этот закон. Может, птице однажды зачтётся, а рыбе простится. Может, каждый, о ком мы помолимся, будет спасён. Елена Касьян

[progressive-mom]

Одному не плывётся, другому пока не летится…

http://progressive-mom.tumblr.com

Время водит нас за нос, но всё ещё длится и длится. Что даровано рыбе, возможно, изъято у птицы. Мне неведомо, как действует этот закон. Может, птице однажды зачтётся, а рыбе простится. Может, каждый, о ком мы помолимся, будет спасён. Елена Касьян

[frontpagewoman]

Letitcia Wright's insta

[digifae]

Morales Family Line

Ximena, Calla, and Juan were originally part of the Moralez family. Sisters. Calla and Ximena had children later on in life. Ximena with Miguel-Ángel Ortez and Calla with Daniel Wang (originally Dokeh Li). Juan had a child with  Ariana Richard.

Ximena and Miguel-Ángel had four biological children together. Enrique, Letitcia, Mercedes, and Ezequiel. Enrique and Letiticia are twins, Enrique was murdered at 18 years old. Both would be 22 years old. Mercedes is their 3rd child and she’s 18 years old. Ezequiel is the youngest at 15 years old.

Calla and Daniel had three biological daughters with a adopted son and daughter. Joaquina is the oldest at 23 years old. Lucy is the middle daughter at 18 years old. Zinnia is the youngest at 13 years old. Paye is 19 years old, making him the second oldest. Myesia is 13 years old, but half a year older than Zinnia.

Juan had one son named Damien with Ariana before being arrested. Ariana didn’t want to keep Damien herself, Ximena and Miguel-Ángel adopted their nephew thus making their adopted son as well. He is 19 years old.

Joaquina and Enrique (before he died) both had children. Joaquina had a daughter with Terrance Burrell. Enrique had a daughter with Rhaelyn Burns, though he never got to meet her.

Joaquina and Terrance’s daughter is named Lina, she is 5 years old. Enrique and Rhaelyn’s daughter is named Reia, she is 4 years old.

[apexart-journal]

Mimi Lipson in Montevideo, Day 17

Monday night was, improv class night. After two weeks of making an ass of myself, I’ve gotten into a “what the hell” mood. Lucia Dotta was our teacher. She was fun and seemed wryly amused by me. The class began with some silly dances. Each of us in turn made up a dance, and everyone had to follow along until Lucia said, “CAMBIO!” Then we all ran around the room like lunatics doing funny hand gestures and making sounds. Anyone could change the gesture/sound, and everyone else was supposed to start doing that until someone came up with a new one. Then there were a series of reflex/attention games that were sort of like duck-duck-goose but more complicated. Some involved names, so it helped me learn who I was spazzing out with--which I suppose was also part of the rationale. I could follow along, mostly, though the instructions weren’t always clear until I saw what people were doing. One of the other students kind of appointed herself my translator, shouting directions to me when I looked lost.

Then there were improv exercises that I had to sit out, since they involved verbal improvisations—and the other people there were paying customers, after all. I think those were pretty standard. Two people improvise a scene until someone yells, “FREEZE” and taps one of them on the shoulder and steps into their pose and starts a new scene--that sort of thing. I considered stepping in once when I had an idea for converting a scene into a palm reading. But then someone else had the same idea.

In one game, the group suggests two words and you have to invent a maxim about them, and then either the group claps and yells, “GURU” and gives you another two words, or they boo and yell, “IMPOSTOR” and your turn is over. Not understanding most of it, I could concentrate on how wise and confident people tried to look—how they worked their expressions and body language to sell their aphorisms. Looked fun. I think I’ll try to get my family to do this one.

Incidentally, improv class seems like a great idea if you are looking for ways to meet new people, because it’s instant camaraderie. 

Not a setting to take pictures, so here are the door to the school and the tiles on the floor. 

 I like getting inside these buildings.They are common as dirt here, in different states from fancied up to dilapidated. Much life behind those tall doors and tall shuttered windows.

On Tuesday morning I had some laziness, and then an appointment at the Central Bank, which is in an excellent sixties-style office building. (I can’t judge the ages of modern buildings here very well. They are often newer than I thought.)

I thought I would just be going to a numismatic museum until a few days ago, when Valentina called and asked for my passport number. For the first part of the activity, I went to the side entrance, where they checked my ID, and Alicia Gonzales, who was very sweet and friendly, met me at took me upstairs and through a warren of offices (lots of wood paneling, brushed aluminum, and privacy glass that I wanted to photograph) to meet Fernando Zimet, who is the head of Planning and Risk Management for the Central Bank of Uruguay. He asked what my goal was for the tour, and once again I was in the position of explaining my bizarre errand.

Well, so we just kind of talked. They explained what a central bank is, and I asked if they had a public bank. I really asked on behalf of my mother, who is involved in efforts to push for a public bank in Massachusetts. They do: the Banco de la República, which is over 100 years old. This is a state-owned institution that provides the whole range of banking services, in competition with private banks. We talked about public banking and its advantages and disadvantages. Fernando said the advantages where what I said (that capital stays in a community and works to the community’s benefit and not for the profit of shareholders—which was the main thing I could remember from conversations with my mother), but that the disadvantage was that the risks were not distributed, and the federal government would have to step in if things went wrong. [HA HA HA HA HA…] 

He and Alicia emphasized that they at the Central Bank are not a state-run bank but the Bank of Banks, responsible for monetary policy. I said I’d heard that there was a lot of inflation, and Fernando said it was within the acceptable range—something like 5%-7%, I think? So I asked why people felt it was a problem, and he said it had been a year or so ago, because of monetary tightening from the US. But obviously it’s still a huge problem for an economy with a dual currency that the exchange has gone from 19 pesos/dollar to 28 pesos/dollar. Things like houses and cars are bought in dollars here. It’s good to be reminded that there are entire economies in our back seat, getting whiplash while we make our adjustments. 

I don’t know—just people talking about money. They were generous with their time. 

The second part of the activity was a tour of the museum. This was kind of an odd experience. Alicia led me to another part of the building--a hallway where there were several display cases of old piggy banks--and introduced me to a nattily dressed gentleman who runs the museum. I wasn’t sure whether I was getting some kind of back-stage tour or what, but anyhow it was a spectacular collection of piggy banks, and I snapped a picture, and then the museum director told me it wasn’t permitted.

He led me to the actual museum (and allowed me to take this picture).

Other than an armed guard, Alicia and I and (I think?) Diego were alone in the museum, which consisted of many vitrines and wall displays containing old bills and coins. We talked about metals, misprints, currency adjustments (zeros lopped off the valuation), and there were some gold doubloons. Here in the delta of the Plate River, there are many interesting shipwrecks. Spanish galleons, as such. If you find one, the government of Uruguay gets half your take.

Apparently Diego accompanies all the visitors to the museum. Everyone gets a guided tour. he also gave me a lovely hardback picture book of Uruguayan paper currency. I bet everyone doesn’t get that. I wonder if he thought I was a visiting dignitary.

Then sandwich and cortado, which is what they call café con leche. I recommend this place, across from the Central Bank. 

Very good. My cortado came in a mug that said Tomato Soup. And it was very cheap and unpretentious inside, with luscious-looking desserts.

I had a bit of time before the next appointment, so I went in search of an old abandoned train station I’d heard about.

Wow! This looks like it must have been one magnificent Victorian train station. I walked all around getting views from different angles.

There’s a new train terminal nearby, but apparently only one passenger line remains, and it only goes something like 50km. I’m thinking of taking the ride on one of my free days.

I also encountered this hardware store. 

I think the guy said it had been open for 160 years. Considered buying a spatula, but I decided that if I could make do without it for 2 weeks I probably don’t need it that badly.

Back to Proyecto Gurisaes.

Then late-night field hockey practice. Letitcia and friends picked me up at almost 9:30, and we drove to a neighborhood somewhere to the east, past a huge Coca Cola bottling plant, to a complex of playing fields that are apparently affiliated with a school, though it was dark and I didn’t see a school. 

That’s Leticia in the center, crouching in the lime-green vest. The ladies were welcoming, but they have an actual team in an actual league and actual games to practice for, so I goofed around with a stick and a ball while they ran drills and stuff. 

Maybe this is the most challenging thing for me--struggling to make myself useful or part of what’s happening, when really it’s not necessary or even possible. I think sometimes I try too hard, so I decided that I’d be happier jogging around the empty football field next door. I think it was a good decision. I was glad to get moving and get lost in my thoughts and watch the plover-type birds wander in and out of the slightly septic-smelling marshes.

[donatomacchi]

2:26 AM

No hay mucho que decir que haga que este sentimiento se resguarde en las palabras que voy a escribir. No me puedo dormir, son las 2:26 am y el sueño no ha venido a darse la vuelta, me acuesto y me cuesta trabajo cerrar los ojos más de un minuto. No puedo de dejar de pensar en ella, ni un instante mi cabeza se salva de su imagen, claro que no quiero que se salve, ni hoy ni nunca. De esto hablaba cuando no la había encontrado, hablaba de llegar a amar tanto a alguien que no se me pueda salir de la cabeza, que fueran insuficientes las palabras dichas ya que un amor así no se pudiera describir con palabras, todavía me acuerdo como me acostaba en la almohada y soñaba así, imaginándomela parada enfrente de mi, y el tiempo dejaba de ser tiempo, no había algo como tal, nunca, y pensé que ni lo habría. Pero aquí estamos, un año más o menos de haberte puesto el ojo y haber dicho que serias mia, y todo lo que yo me imaginaba se volvió una realidad, se hizo verdad y tomo vida el amor de mi vida, finalmente le podía poner una cara a esa persona con la que soñaba, y fue igual que como me lo imaginaba, inclusive mejor, mucho mejor, algo que no hubiera soñado dentro de mi mismo sueño para ser preciso. Eres esa niña, Letitcia, eres la que me quita el sueño para poder pensarte, la que me da aliento y ganas de vivir, la que me hace sonreír y no me deja apelar a la tristeza, la que después de perdón tras perdón encuentra una manera de poner su amor sobre lo que sea que haya sucedido, la que me causa necesidad más que la necesidad de respirar, la que con 3 palabras, no muy largas y no muy complicadas, me saca de este mundo con lo que me hace sentir. Eres tú la que se aventó conmigo , y la que va en caída libre conmigo, y la que me hace sentir como si estoy volando cuando está a mi lado. Esa eres tú, Letitcia, el amor de mi vida. Si esta vida me dura y me es buena, me va a mantener muchos años a lado de ti.

[donatomacchi]

Te perdí por unos minutos

Ayer te perdí, aunque fuera por un ratito, pero por un momento no estábamos juntos, no como lo hemos estado desde que empezamos, por un momento me imaginé parado en el puente de madera y ya no estabas acostada en mi hombro, ya no caminábamos juntos. Ese paraíso se volvió una pesadilla, y gracias a una sola cosa: tu. Fuera poco o mucho el tiempo que decidiste dejarme, se sintió como una eternidad, se sintió como si iba a durar para siempre, y así las horas que pase despierto con insomnio, pensando, recapitulando lo qué pasó, se volvieron días. Al final, supiste qué hay demasiado amor para dejarlo aquí, y eso me da esperanza, pero hay que reconstruir, hay que volver a empezar de cierta manera, dando un paso para adelante y un par para atrás, con más cautela, con más cabeza y cuidado, porque cuando se hace frágil la estructura hay que estar seguros de que el siguiente paso no valla a tirar el edificio. Que difícil tener que caminar con cautela, y hacerlo desde lejos. Que difícil y que dolor que sabiendo lo fuerte que sentía yo está relación haya estado a punto de terminarse, pero esto no es motivo para dejar que se termine, esto es oportunidad, es una oportunidad para dejar los simientes más fuertes de lo que eran, y para construir más arriba aún, pero siempre con cautela. Como se construye en un edificio que es frágil? Suena imposible, pero si tengo que hacer lo imposible para estar con ella, imposible será que no logre lo imposible. Que esto sea un aprendizaje más, qué hay que poner límites, qué hay que ser astutos y no malavarear con los sentimientos y con las personas. Afortunadamente esta vez que se me cayo la pelota al malavarear no se rompió, pero ya tiene una fisura... y no se trata de malavarear con más cuidado, se trata de no malavarear.

[donatomacchi]

Waking up to a Dream

Wednesday, March 1st (2034)

 I can feel the breeze rushing through my hair. The sand curling up in between my toes, the lighthouse to my left and the most amazing sunset I have seen in years. Its chili out, and the kids aren’t wearing their sweatshirts. I go out to the car, parked in the turnpike, grab them sweatshirts and run back before the catch a cold. As I am approaching the division between sand and concrete, I look up and see her. Look at her, she leaves me breathless every time I glance at her. They run in circles, laughing as little Mischa stumbles upon her feet, there is a certain beauty in all of this. I pause for a moment and I admire the beauty of the family I have come to build with Letitcia. 4 beautiful kids, two are twins, and a great life for each and every one of them. Since we started talking about having kids, Letitcia and I agreed on many things, but most importantly, we agreed on raising them in a home where strong values are to prevail. As I see them now, we have done quite well. Celena is loving, and very straight forward, as smart as they come, but as sensitive as her father. Vincent and Sai have so much in common, but they are so different when it comes down to personal relationships, none of them are wrong about the way they like to approach human interaction, but they just like it different, one of them being very dependent of what people feel like and the other not caring about what they may say, just like his mom. Lastly there is little Mischa, she has the greatest heart I have ever seen. She is gentle, understanding and no matter what day it is, she will always give you a hug that will run chills down your spine. They all are what I wanted since I was young, as I imagined them. But nothing or no one can compare to the one who has made this come true. Lu is the reason I am standing here, watching the sunset as my family runs around like Native Americans in a religious ceremony. Nothing could’ve been possible without her. She is so amazingly thoughtful and thankful for everything I give her, and it only makes me want to give her more. Once I thought I had too much love to give, but since I met here, it has run out, there is no quantity humanly possible that would surmount the love she deserves. And you know what is so amazing about giving my heart and my soul to her every day? She gives it right back, making the love between us too much to even understand. Do you know what else I love about her? She has this motivation to achieve everything she puts her mind to. She is just amazingly inspired by herself, it is inspiring to even look at her go! Living with her has made me so much stronger than I ever thought I could become. It’s not only what she is, but what she has made out of me, and consequently what I have made off of her. We just share something so big, so powerful, it makes me want to cry and be grateful for her. Even though I could pile up stacks of love-filled papers, explaining how amazing life has come out to be, it will never be enough. And as I walk on to them, they see me and invite me over to join the wonderful dance of joy they are performing as the sun meets the ocean. I cover the kids up, and I start to run around them, having the greatest time we will ever have together. Nothing else matters at that exact moment, my life is completely as I dreamed it would be.

Even though, for me, my family is the center part of my life, there are other things I have become, other things I have achieved. Starting off, I have become a human being to be proud of. I know some part of it I owe to Lu, because let’s face it, no one is perfect. But, I have grown up to become so amazingly smart and wise, it has given me an insight about life itself. Life has become a joyful ride, filled with amazing emotions. I have been able to express myself completely through art, literary and painted art. I never knew I had it in me until I started painting and writing. Those strong driven images splashed into the canvases and harsh, hard-hitting words sealed into the pages of my multiple books/commentaries. All of those master-pieces (in my eyes), have inspired many. Making it possible for me to achieve one of my life’s dreams: transmit my thoughts, my experiences, my wrongs, my rights and my teachings to others. As I grew up I knew I had a special understanding of life, and since I can remember I always wanted to share it with others, to inspire them to grow and understand, to make them open their eyes and see that there were bigger things in life than what they thought. Later I understood that people like me weren’t meant to be found in every street corner. We were special, and that motivated me to expand my teachings farther and farther, so that one day, the small bunch of privileged people, whom of which would come to understand what I see through my eyes, would read or see the master-pieces I developed. Now, I can say I have reached out to many of them, and poked their brains into questioning and growing without pause. I hope most of them received the inspiration they needed to aspire for greatness. I know I did, and my inspiration came from two things primarily, none of which would have I ever realized without deep thought and hard nights of brain-poking.

I set out to be a doctor early on, since I was 11 I would tell my father I would change people’s lives through medicine. I watched medicine-filled TV shows and I would awe in amazement of how amazingly perfect the human body is. As I grew up, my dream of being a doctor became more real than I thought it would be, I started attending different types of surgeries with my father’s distant cousin. Until one day, I started med school. Everything was going fine and well, but as I attended the multiple med courses, I started realizing that medicine wasn’t the end game. Medicine was just the band-wagon I jumped into to get where I really wanted to be: helping. I grew tired of medicine and I decided to drop out of med school in search of something else. Helping can be done in multiple types of ways, and I had to find a way to achieve it, but not giving my life away for it. I jumped into engineering, I chose something broad enough to give me time to realize how the hell I was going to help out and earn a living. I jumped from one job to another, going through textile factories, banks and construction developers. Until one day, life opened up a door, and when I looked inside, there was the answer. I was going to develop a health insurance company with its own health institutions. I was big, but look at me now. MDMZ has become the biggest and most accessible health insurance agency in Latin America. We gave the middle class in Mexico and option to buy for themselves private health-care. It is my life’s work. It has given me the ability to grow personally, the way I wanted since I can remember, helping people out through medicine, and making me wealthier than I had ever imagined. But, even though wealth has come my way, and it has bought my family luxuries beyond imagination, it is by far the smallest achievement I am proud of. Many of it is given away to charity, donations and help, which is another way I have found to help people out. But anyway, life has been sweet to me professionally, making it easy for me to leave something behind in this world where my name can be held up high and known to everyone for the amazing gestures I have procured. I can say, I have touched people’s lives. All of this, as I said before has given me back a sense of achievement which has made me a healthy person. I can say that my health is at its peak, psychologically and physically. I rip the benefits of being a healthy person, every day I wake up and shoot some hoops with the boys, and I thank my healthy life style since I was young. Socially, I can say that it doesn’t matter if people come and go in my life, because they do. I am reminded of my mother, she would change of cliques by the minute. But generally it doesn’t matter, because going back to what I just wrote a few minutes back, I have Letitcia in my life. If I wake up next to her every day, there is no one I need to be around. She is the captain of my boat, even if it means it is a ghost ship.  

Well, being able to write down everything I just looked back into, is a blessing to me. I am forever grateful for everything even if it is not written in this text. Not to forget my parents and my brothers, my cousins and my friends. Every single aspect of my life I am grateful for, and I express it to g-d every day I wake up. But, it doesn’t stop here, I am just turning 40! Life will go on and I will look back at this moment in 50 years and think to myself how I grew exponentially. I will look at my kids and my grandkids and again be grateful to life. Because life is a wonderful ride, if you hop on the right wagon.

 Thursday, March 20th (2017)

(Alarm beeps)

My g-d. What a dream.

Did I just… wait?

My wall holds up a sign that says “wake up, it’s here”. Is it referring to…to my dream? Is it possible? Wow, I wish it is fucking possible. I just have to grab it, just take it and believe. I saw this movie yesterday, it gave me a secret. It said to believe, visualize, and feel good. I do, don’t I? I’m kind of having a hard time doing so. Wait, Letitcia was in my dream? Really? I just started dating her. She looked beautiful though, in that beach. I could imagine getting hitched to her, but wow, kind of early. You know what, let me stop right there. Am I questioning my ability to fulfil my dreams? No way. I will not throw this away. Let me embrace it! Yes! It’s there! I mean, it’s here! Let’s take it. Feel good? I can fucking do that, there is no reason I shouldn’t. Visualize? I mean my mind is a fucking movie, I visualize all right. Believe?? Believe? I kind of have a hard time believing I suppose. But why shouldn’t I? Believing isn’t that hard, it’s just buying a ticket to the movie your mind is playing. I sure can, I absolutely can believe. Let me get one of those tickets, in fact, let me buy the whole lot.

I sit back, the theater is silent. I place the popcorn on my side (don’t forget the jalapeños), put my glasses on, and it starts. The movie of my life.

[donatomacchi]

Un Cielo Claro y Brillante

Que sosiego levantar la mirada y en el aura de la mañana ver un horizonte claro y bello, no hay nubes que lo cubran; un cielo completamente despejado. Solamente había soñado con tener una mañana así. Innumerables las veces que al levantar la mirada en ese mismo aura, encontraba un cielo nublado, gris y frio. Pero no hoy, ha llegado la primavera a mi vida y veo como florece mí alrededor y se calienta con ese sol tan deslumbrante. Ha sido un invierno largo y difícil, y aunque hubo algunos destellos de sol que se filtraban a través de la neblina, nunca fueron tan satisfacientes como lo es esta mañana. Cabe decir que para llegar a la primavera he tenido que recorrer un invierno difícil, pero no lo he tenido que hacer solo. Son muchas las personas que me han ayudado a cubrirme del frio, algunas más que otras, pero otras más que nadie, y por eso quiero empezar contigo.

Ya tenía algunos años que había querido encontrar una persona con la que pudiera compartir mi tiempo y mi amor. En esta aventura llegue a conocer a muchas personas, que prometían ser lo que buscaba, pero que por alguna razón u otra, todos los encuentros que tuve acabaron en decepción. No buscaba mucho, solo quería encontrar a una persona que me diera amor y se lo pudiera pagar con más amor y que eso fuera suficiente. A través de las múltiples experiencias aprendí mucho, sobre mi vida, mi alrededor y más que nada sobre qué es lo que quería encontrar en esa privilegiada señorita que me haría sonreír todas las mañanas al pensar en ella. Un día, en donde ya veía lejos ese encuentro tan esperado, conocí a una persona que tan solo con unos minutos de su tiempo sabía que había encontrado lo que estaba buscando. Un ángel. La protagonista de mis sueños. La dueña de mi amor y de mi corazón. La fuente de motivación e inspiración. El despertar de mis mañanas, y la última imagen antes de cerrar los ojos. La Fermina de mi novela. El espacio en mi cama. El silencio que hay entre lo que pienso y lo que digo. La incertidumbre en mis noches. El inicio de mi fin. Mi cabeza y mis sueños. ¿Cómo describir a este ser que hace que todo tu mundo florezca y agarre un espectro de colores nunca antes vistos? Eso eres tú: Letitcia. Desde ese glorioso día, que me diste una pequeña esperanza, no he parado de soñar y tener una sonrisa cada minuto de cada día. ¿Por qué hoy y no ayer, o hace 6 meses? Porque cada día he recibido más, he dado más, he aprendido más, y he sentido y amado más. Poco a poco me has ayudado a llegar a este punto en donde te digo que llega la primavera a mi vida, y lo has hecho ayudándome a conocerme a mí, ayudándome a darme cuenta lo valioso que soy y lo increíble que es mi esencia. Me has enseñado a amar al máximo y ser paciente, a disfrutar de cada momento del día estés donde estés y con quien estés, me has enseñado a vivir cada día como si fuera el ultimo, y que nosotros somos dueños de nuestro propio destino, y porque no hacerlo con un ímpetu del 99%. Hoy soy porque me has enseñado, y aunque no has hecho todo el trabajo, la parte que he aprendido contigo o de ti es muy valiosa. Y dime, si he recorrido este camino contigo, y he sido feliz, ¿porque no debo de ser optimista cuando veo el futuro? Hace algunos días estuve quebrado y desolado, tu presencia me hacía tanta falta que no me sentía lleno si tu no estabas. Pero, después de un par de días en los que sufrí tu ausencia me di cuenta que a pesar del mundo que he construido contigo, hay un mundo paralelo en donde vive mi persona, que disfruta la soledad y cosas que solo se pueden disfrutar cuando uno está solo. Me llegaste a hablar del espacio y yo no le entendía en el momento. Tanto tiempo mi vida se había tratado de los demás, que me daba miedo entrar a este mundo personal y explorarlo. Lo decidí ignorar por mucho tiempo, pero en el momento que estuve forzado a entrar, me di cuenta que es un mundo bello y digno de explorar. Y por eso veo un futuro brillante, voy a tener el tiempo de explorar mi mundo y aprender de esta gran persona que me has ayudado a conocer. Sé que suena un poquito aterrador que no he conocido mucho de mí, porque has de pensar que tú tampoco, pero ahí es donde entras tú. Tú has visto mucho de mí que yo antes no conocía. Tú has entrado a este mundo del que te hablo y lo has explorado y al parecer te ha enamorado, y a raíz de esto he tenido el valor de hacerlo yo mismo. Tú me has abierto los ojos y lo has hecho con paciencia y delicadeza y no hay palabras suficientes para poder agradecerte.

[donatomacchi]

Its the Little Things...

Those are the things that make you fall in love…

Remember that time when we were laying down in the middle of the Israeli desert, the moon was out, the starts looked brighter than ever, and you held my hand. That trace gave me a breath of hope, a beaming light in a room full of darkness. It’s funny how little things can give you so much hope, love, self-esteem. Amazing how your simple touch could give me a lifetime full of love.

Remember that other time when we were standing underneath a beautiful gray rainy day, we just stood there, with our clothes soaked wet, and you kissed my cheek. I can still feel the cold rain drops falling on my head, water running down my face and dripping down my body. That little perfect kiss made my world whole for a split second, and it gave me a lifetime full of happiness. It’s the little things…

It’s the little things that make me love you, that make me hate you and not get mad at you, that make me want to grow old together, that make me want to run away to the end of the world with you, that make me want to give you my all, that make me want to have a family with you, that make me cry when I see your perfect smile and wonder how lucky I was to get to know you, that make me want to be there in the good times and in the bad times, that give me the strength to get better every day, that show me that there isn’t another human being that would make me as happy as you do, that makes me wake up every day by your side and smile just because you are the first thing I see when I open my eyes, that makes me want to die for you.

The funny thing is… I don’t even know you. I don’t know what you look like, and I don’t even know what you are all about. But it’s the little things that make me love you.

I am astonished of how much I love you and how much I appreciate the little things you do for me; I mean it’s just overwhelming. But, how can I love you and not know you, and how can I appreciate what you do for me if I haven’t met you. It’s all in my head.

This comes to prove only one thing: I have so much love to give and you are not there. When are you going to get here! I have been waiting over 22 years for you to appear.  But still you are not here. I understand, you are not ready to be with me, you aren’t ready to receive my all. But sooner than later all this love will dissipate and there will be nothing left of me. It’s too much love growing inside my heart that eventually the thick walls full of life will perish, and there will be nothing left.

So I beg you, and I pray to god every day for you to do this little thing for me, and I will appreciate that little thing for the rest of our lives. Show yourself.  

I dream about you every single night, and each time I do it is the same exact dream. I see you standing there, in the bar, ordering of of those drinks you love, it’s that red thing that looks like cough medicine, but you love it. I approach that bar with shivers running down my spine, because since I saw you with those tight dark jeans and that wavy light brown hair I knew it would be you I would marry. Just as I am about to gently touch your shoulder, you run out into the crowd and I lose you and I stand there, hopeless, feeling I have lost you forever. But one night during my sleep, I will reach your shoulder and you will feel that gentle touch and you will turn around and I will get to see you with those beautiful piercing green eyes and my life will be whole.

It’s the little things that make me love you, so please, just turn around.

[donatomacchi]

Shine on, You´re  Blinding Me

I’m light-struck, I try to look around and stop the light from blinding me completely. How could I endure watching something so bright for so long. It’s like watching the sun, you just look up and embrace the warmth it brings within your body, but if you don’t turn away you will be blinded for quite some time. The problem is, I don’t want to look away. I want to admire that piercing light and embrace it completely, until it blinds me for eternity. Never have I ever watched something so beautiful and startling before, I think it is the way your eyes lure me into you. I have come close enough to see what shines so bright, it is the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you look at life. I will be blinded for eternity, only because I refuse to look away when I am staring right into your eyes. But it won’t matter, only if you hold my hand the rest of the way.