#let's try and dismantle the patriarchy... it's been this way long enough

[voice-of-illogical-sense]

I hope everyone had a wonderful International Women's Day.

To both those who were born a woman and to those who have chosen to be one... I am truly sorry that the patriarchy still runs the place.

While we still have gendered language and gender stereotypes change will be slow.

I worry about this as a father. Even though I want to teach my son to be a feminist... I fear that I cannot control what he'll pick up at nursery or school.

[andreal831]

Is Elijah actually a feminist? Because he said so but his actions..

Elijah Mikaelson is what we would call a "second wave feminist" or a "white feminist." While I don't necessarily subscribe to the ideas of "waves" of feminism, I think it simplifies it enough for this discourse.

Elijah is a feminist in the most basic sense of the term, in the way he believes women can be equal to men and encourages it. However, he does not actively work to dismantle the patriarchy. He is one of those cases where he likely was progressive at one point, however, society has long since progressed past him.

Dealing with the basic understanding of feminism which is basically just believing women can be equal to men, sure Elijah is a feminist. Elijah has always admired strong, independent women, even in societies where that would not be the norm.

I know some people argue that he is not because of his treatment of Katherine, but I would disagree with that. While I do not like that he was willing to sacrifice a young woman for his brother, it wasn't based on her being a woman. You can argue that he should have offered her more protection at that time because of the power dynamic between them, but again, most of the power dynamic came from Katerina being human. It would have played out similarly if the doppelgangers had been men.

I would also add that he seems to be the only one who supports Rebekah's dreams throughout the show and doesn't make sexist comments about her love life. (I'm looking at Kol and Klaus)

By the 21st Century, when the show takes place, thinking women should be able to learn to defend themselves and be equal to men is not enough. He says he is a devout feminist and then follows it up with a decidedly sexist comment. While I do understand this is the joke, it is still a thought he had and then said aloud while acknowledging it is sexist. I believe this is the only blatantly sexist comment he's made, but correct me if I'm wrong.

I wouldn't consider any of the men in this show to be true feminists for modern times. I don't think the writers even understand what that means.

This current wave of feminism focuses on intersectionality and the deconstruction of the hierarchy that has served to oppress women, the patriarchy. The quote from Enola Holmes really sums it up for me.

Elijah, and the rest of the vampires in the show, have the time, money, power, and privilege to affect real change in society, however, none of them do. Instead, they rather throw parties and blow their money, letting life around them happen. Because why change a system that is working for you?

I wouldn't expect any character in the show to understand intersectionality as the writers of the show often express classist and racist ideas/stereotypes. We see Elijah with a woman of color on a plantation that we know people are being enslaved on. Again, all of these vampires lived through times of slavery and none of them lifted a finger to try and end a system of oppression.

So it is not surprising that none of the men in the show lift a finger to help women's rights. We hear Rebekah mention it, but it is quickly followed up by a sexist comment. This is a theme throughout the show with the female characters, they are often judgemental and cruel to each other using terms that are definitely not feminist. But I digress.

Elijah seems to subscribe to the idea of feminism that if a woman can do what a man can do, she should be able to climb to the top of the patriarchy. As we now know, this is not enough. Letting women get involved in the patriarchy doesn't solve anything. It is a system that oppresses all people and needs to be dismantled rather than allowing women to join it.

We see Elijah throughout the show respect many different types of women which shows his ability to grow as a feminist. However, again, his lack of a deeper understanding of how race, class, privilege, etc. play roles in feminism continued to hinder him. We mostly see this in Elijah's more classist view of the world. Elijah is known for being condescending to others, although I do feel like it was mostly reserved for men.

I believe Elijah would be accepting of the LGBTQ+ community but that could just be head-canon.

So while Elijah doesn't do too much that is blatantly sexist, I would not classify him as a feminist by today's standards. I think he would be willing to learn if there was a character in the show that could actually educate anyone on feminism. But first, someone needs to educate the writers. (Which is a plug for my fic because, don't worry, Astra will not let that stand)

[vanilla-voyeur]

So usually when I try to explain why I'm not a feminist I get really condescending because it's really frustrating to hear people assume that the only possible reason someone could be for gender equality but not also be a feminist is because the person must have a very ignorant misunderstanding of what true feminism is. But for the most part those folks are very earnest, and perhaps it's better for me to turn down the snark sometimes.

I feel pretty confident at this point that I am aware of feminism at least as much as the average feminist. I was a feminist for 7 years. I've taken gender studies classes, I've read academic feminist works, I've read belle hooks (much later than I should have), I used to frequent feminist blogs, I'm subscribed to a pro-feminist subreddit, I have feminist friends and partners, and my Tumblr dash is full of feminists. I've heard it all, I used to believe quite a bit of it, and I'm no longer convinced.

It's difficult to not make this sound incredibly defensive because, well it is. I've been told over and over again the same things by feminists who assume that they're the first one telling me it. I'm already familiar with these things mostly because I believed them back when I was a feminist and have since learned a more nuanced way of looking at gender. I'm trying to preempt as much of the rebuttals as possible.

That also makes this explanation exhaustingly long. There's a TLDR at the bottom. But if that's all you read then whatever your counterargument to it is probably already addressed in the rest of the post.

What is feminism?

Let's start with the definition of feminism. There are many feminist schools of thought. It makes it hard to talk about my disagreement with feminism as a whole because if I make a claim broad enough to include all feminists according to my understanding of what feminism really is, the assumption is that I am ignorant of the less distasteful schools of feminist thought because feminists don't consider other feminist schools of thought as true feminism. I genuinely think TERFs are a form of radical feminism, but that gets misunderstood to mean that I think all feminists are TERFs or are tolerant of TERFs. I don't buy the claim that TERFs aren't feminists because real feminism includes all women when the dominant online leftist narrative is white feminism. While I do think some feminists are for gender equality (asterisk) I don't agree with the feminists who define feminism to be nothing more than a fight for gender equality.

So what is the essential thing that is common to all people who call themselves feminists if it isn't gender equality? In my understanding, it is a belief in the patriarchy concept and that it must be dismantled. The difference between different schools of feminist thought is what the definition of patriarchy is and what is the best way to dismantle it.

This means TERFs are real feminists. They define patriarchy to be men existing and that trans women are a particularly henious type of man who have discovered a particularly insidious way to sneak into women's spaces. The fact that this is abhorrent to most feminists (and also decent people in general) does not stop it from being a patriarchy concept that people who self-identity as feminists believe.

Feminists for gender equality (asterisk) believe that the patriarchy is... well... it's uh... So every time I make a claim what the dominant narrative of the patriarchy is, if it doesn't match up word-for-word with the individual's specific views, then they take it as a sign that I'm ignorant of real feminism. Nevermind that when they explain the real definition of patriarchy, it's more-or-less what I just said in every way that is important to me. This still happens when I just straight up direct quote the last feminist who explained the real definition of patriarchy to me.

I will quote this definition:

Patriarchy is a system of relationships, beliefs, and values embedded in political, social, and economic systems that structure gender inequality between men and women. Attributes seen as “feminine” or pertaining to women are undervalued, while attributes regarded as “masculine” or pertaining to men are privileged.

The things that stick out to me in this dominant narrative that I don't believe in:

Patriarchy benefits all men

All gender inequality is due to societal structures that consistently favor men

If your personal definition of patriarchy does not include a belief that structural misandry exists, not as the patriarchy backfiring, but as a societal disadvantage that men have because they are men and not women, then it's not sufficiently different enough from previous definitions I've heard to be new to me.

Which is not to say that structural misogyny doesn't exist or male privilege doesn't exist. Both exist and also female privilege too. They are in effect in different contexts. I've made a previous more snarky post about how feminists use examples of misogyny to claim that misandry isn't real and MRAs use examples of misandry to claim that misogyny isn't real and all those examples prove is that both are real. (Shoutout to the TERF in my replies who did the exact thing I brought up in my post but worse because all the stuff she said was plainfacedly false. You think men can never be raped? Bruh.)

The prefix "fem" in the word "feminism" contains a clear indication that feminism is not any and all support for gender equality, but at best a specific belief that the only thing we need to advocate for to get gender equality is women's right.

If men's rights was part of feminism then it wouldn't be considered derailing to talk about men's issues in a feminist space. The frequent complaint that MRAs only bring up men's rights to derail a discussion of women's rights betrays a belief that any amount of talk about men's rights in a feminist space is derailing. (Or sometimes any amount of discussion in any space.) Nevermind that MRAs have created their own spaces to talk about men's rights, so it's not solely derailing. No, feminism is not "just gender equality". It has narrow assumptions about what counts as gender equality and what doesn't.

I don't believe in the patriarchy, so I don't consider myself a feminist. All people who self-id as feminist believe in the patriarchy, but not all people who self-id as feminists believe in gender equality. Furthermore, not all people who believe in gender equality self-id as feminists. (This is less surprising to leftists of color than white women.) The patriarchy concept is more essential to feminism than gender equality.

Instead I call myself an egalitarian. I like it, not just because it includes men's rights alongside women's rights, but also because it also signifies intersectionality of all justice movements: for PoC, for intersex people, for trans people, for queer people, for disabled people, for working class people, for sex workers, and for every marginalized group.

What I believe

Ok so how does I explain the existence of misogyny without believing it to be a result of the patriarchy? The same way I explain the existence of misandry without believing in a matriarchy.

(Side note: MRAs don't believe in a matriarchy. They believe misandry is a result of gynocentrism, which is a society that prioritizes the life, health, and welfare of women over that of men. They explain misogyny as a result of gynocentrism backfiring. Again, I don't think that's the full picture.)

In my understanding, misogyny, misandry, and transphobia are all a result of restrictive gender roles that put AFAB folks in one oppressive box and AMAB folks in a different analogous oppressive box. It really doesn't matter which box is worse because once something is sufficiently bad enough, it becomes abominable to compare it to another sufficiently bad thing. (Q: What's worse murder or rape? A: Thinking that's an appropriate question to ask) In some contexts women have it worse, in other contexts men have it worse, and in still some other contexts they both have it equally bad in complementary ways.

(To be clear, while I believe trans people of any gender can be a victim of both misandry and misogyny, that is not to say that binary trans women aren't fully women or that binary trans men aren't fully men. They are, but the people who hate them don't think that. If someone thinks you're a man and they hate men then they're going to be misandrist to you regardless of what your gender really is. It's like how anti-Sikh violence in the US is a result of Islamophobia despite Sikhs not actually being Muslim.)

Being a movement for women's rights and not men's rights (except for the few times when it can be twisted into the patriarchy backfiring explaination) feminism has over the decades done a lot of things to reduce the oppressive gender roles that marginalize women. I think that's great! I just don't think it's enough. We need an analogous movement that fights for men's rights and frees them from the oppressive gender roles society puts upon them.

Time to unpin the asterisk in the claim that "some feminists are for gender equality". I think that the patriarchy concept is misandrist. It is an obstruction to fully supporting men's rights. The feminists who do believe in gender equality end up devising some convoluted way to explain why a thing that disadvantages men is actually the patriarchy backfiring before they can decide that it's worthy of addressing. I would rather take Occam's Razor to it. Another issue with the patriarchy concept is that if a men's rights issue can't be explained by the patriarchy then it's dismissed as not important or not real. Also "the patriarchy backfiring" is often used as a thought-terminating cliche. If we focus exclusively on women's issues then all men's issues will be fixed because they're all secretly things that hurt women more. It ends up getting real victim-blaming real fast.

That said, I don't think all feminists hate men. (Though some feminists definitely do hate men. I know because I was one.) We live in a misandrist society (bottom text). While most feminists don't care about men's issues in the slightest, feminists are no more likely to hate men than anyone else from what I've seen. I don't think the feminists who do care about men's issues are misandrist, just that the one specific belief in the patriarchy concept is misandrist. There are certain ways that misandry manifests that is unique to feminism, but other ways that feminists generally avoid. If you want to talk about the real misandrist fucks, look no further than conservatives.

One could make an argument that because feminists claim to be fighting for gender equality, we should hold them to a higher standard than the rest of misandrist society. Imo it's leftist in-fighting. We need to build coalitions with people we don't 100% agree with. I consider anyone who supports both men's rights and women's rights my ally. That includes the feminists who do so even though they believe in the patriarchy concept. That also includes left wing antifeminists even though I don't personally consider myself an antifeminist.

On structural misandry

If I went into depth about examples of structural misandry and why they're not just the patriarchy backfiring, this post would be twice as long (leftist wall of text amirite). If y'all really care, then I can make a follow-up post. If Tumblr search wasn't absolute ass, you'd be able to search my blog for the misandry tag and see a little bit of what I'm talking about.

TLDR

I'm not a feminist because to be a feminist one must believe in the patriarchy and I don't. The patriarchy concept does not adequately explain all structural misandry. I identify as an egalitarian instead. I think that misandry, misogyny, and transphobia are all a result of restrictive gender roles that hurt everybody.

[kscheibles]

I love how you wrote about that need to look a certain way to be desirable. When the true desire is to feel loved and wanted just as we are.

thank you, you're exactly right! I just read Communion and have been very inspired by bell hooks: she has a whole chapter in the book about how loving our bodies is the first step to being loved by someone else, and that includes dismantling fatphobia in our own minds. Something I struggle with a lot is trying to commit myself to these ideals I believe in (women’s liberation, fat liberation, bisexual visibility) but applying their tenets to my own experience and life. For example, I want to dismantle patriarchal thinking in my own mind but I also still have a desire to make myself conform to conventional standards of beauty because I know that offers a different kind of experience in society. Patriarchy rewards us for conforming in ways that allow us to feel good but not to be liberated. Besides, none of us wants to fall in love with someone we can’t be ourselves with. What would be the point then?

hooks argues that the way we learn to love is through loving ourselves. That often, because of the way we are socialized as women (to be homemakers, mothers etc), we assume that we are loving. However, she says, "[n]othing belies the assumption that women are more loving than men as much as the negative feelings most females hold about our bodies."

She continues in the excerpt below:

"In her amazing memoir, Appetites, Geneen Roth confesses, 'Being thin was the magic that was supposed to heal the damage at the core of me, the damage symbolized by fat. If I lost the weight, I'd lose the damaged core.' Roth understands intimately the connection between the female search for love and our obsession with being thin. She writes that 'our fantasy of what will happen when we turn a final corner and find the love, respect, visibility, and abundance that's eluded us for a lifetime. . .is the adult version of the childhood longing to be seen and loved. When as children we understand that we are going to get that love, we make up stories, create a fantasy life, try to be someone else. And when we believe that love will be waiting around the corner if only we could transform ourselves into different people, we spend our lives trying to turn that corner.' This is self-hatred in action. Female self-love begins with self-acceptance."

Personally, when I have a crush I can tell I start to criticize myself more and be more cognizant that my appearance conforms to standard beauty conventions. I think there’s a part of me that thinks it’s logical: statistically, being conventionally attractive is what would give me the highest chance of them liking me back, therefore I’m kind of happy to play into these things because I desire to be loved so fervently. But I think this evades the real question of love. Love is not vain. I don't think it can exist within an inauthentic person.

But ultimately, there’s a sense of wanting to be good enough for them. Even if my crush is just some guy who’s a teacher in a small city somewhere— not like a rockstar or Nobel laureate or something. I need to recognize that as a feeling of not enoughness in myself. I use my “deficiencies” (esp physical) to justify to myself why they weren’t interested and to flagellate myself even further.

Anyways this was a bit of a ramble. TLDR: I let myself feel this way and I think it's important to recognize it and try to push back against it. Also read Communion by bell hooks!

[azhdakha]

Big bruh moment or what is wrong with the indigenous people's movements in Russia.

Oh I have been longing to write this one for a long time and yesterday there happened something that finally pushed me to do it. I also hope VERY MUCH to see any suggestion, support or at least understanding from other indigenous people because I literally have no one to talk to about it.

Due to the historic reasons and specifics of colonial processes in Russia and the countries of Ex-USSR most of the non-european indigenous people and ethnic minorities who actively practice and preserve their culture, stand against colonialism and imperialism are radically traditional.

Now let me elaborate. There is nothing wrong with being traditional as a way of lifestyle and worldview. However it becomes a problem when people try to insert one as a supreme or even only allowed way of living, behaving and thinking. These people are radically patriarchical, radically religious meaning that they hardly ever accept any other religion other than theor own and strictly or often even aggressively condemn any behavior that goes against patriarchy. This is they way of life that they want for all their nation, this is what they see as decolonizing.

This means that no ideas about toxic masculinity, sexism, victimblaming, homophobia, transphobia being wrong are not accepted in any form. You have to marry someone from your nation, otherwise you're a traitor, better if your parents choose your spouse, if you're a man, you should fit in a toxic masculine image, of you're a woman, you have ro be a housewife, you have to obey men, you have to cover yourself, you have to be a virgin. Being an lgbt person is not allowed in any form. Any ideas beyond the traditional beliefs are wrongful. This is what is called patriarchy. But I wanted to make it clear as people often diminish these things. I want the reader to understand how problematic this is and how difficult it makes to reconnect and join your ethnic community where you're met with disgust or even ostracized.

Another problem which might be even worse is that for lots of people in this communities the fight for their own people is not a fight against violence. It is violence for violence. Even though lots of these people witness all the problems of being hated for the ethnicity, the community is full of hatred towards other ethnicities, using of ethnic slurs, erasing other identities. Here decolonization isn't about dismantling the oppressive system, it's about extermination of the colonizers as an ethnicity, as a nation, as a civilization, and building your own.

Yesterday was sort of an apogee to my navigation in ethnic spaces of my country as I came across a few blogs that had surprisingly good articles about decolonization, and then I came to know the people who follow it. Only to find out that the person who was running the blog was literall supporters of terroristic groups such as Boko Haram, and went on claiming that this is the right way to decolonize - kill the wrongful ones that bring harm, be bloodthirsty, that's the right way of a warrior, destroy and exterminate colonizers and everyone who doesn't support you, who has a European lifestyle or ideology. And when I asked him what is the difference between them and colonizers - the reply was "Aim, we have different aims and intentions". At first I was a bit striken, but then I thought, absolute bullshit, the 'good intentions' were literally always used to commit genocides, this is exactly what made us all suffer. Another funny thing is that this person said he doesn't consider himself white. Why? Because he's a Muslim and he's indigenous. And believe me I saw his picture, he looks like a usual white European just with a beard. I know that the definitions of whiteness or its analogies here was different from the Wetsern Europe and United Stated. But even along with that we Tatars are already assimilated enough to often be passing and it is a privilege, it is different of you're clearly visibly different as Asian, Middle Asian or Caucasian* ethnicities. But eventually he called me a colonizer because I have a 'colonized mindset' if I'm against violence.

Maybe I don't understand something. But I just cannot accept praising of murder, wishes of extermination to particular ethnic groups, violence towards anyone who doesn't follow or share your ideas and lifestyle as decolonization. Hell, I cannot deem this as acceptable under any circumstances. You cannot defeat hatred with hatred and violence with more violence. You have to dismantle in system, not just change who's in charge.

But at the same time I'm utterly exhausted as I have lost all the hope that our indigenous nations and cultures will ever be resilent, have a good life while their people will have all the human rights. I don't know how to continue this fight.

Utterly hope to find some understanding.

[yoonpobs]

manners maketh women | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x oc

genre: kingsman!AU (loosely inspired lol), enemies to enemies basically (some sexual tension)

warnings: mentions of blood, enemies, dismantling the patriarchy

words: 2, 637

summary: kingsman or alternatively you trying to dismantle the patriarchy by pissing off your partner

“You’re a fucking psychopath!” Valentine spits at you with bloodied gums while he lays on the floor with all the will to live beaten out of him.

You’re much better off. Of course you were. You wouldn’t let someone as vile or unimportant as Valentine ruin your pantsuit because while you thought the establishment was exorbitant, it was still costly and made you look like a bad bitch.

“Says the one who planted chips into people’s head only to blow them up.” You roll your eyes, tossing your blazer over your shoulder as Merlin sighs at the scene behind you when you cock your head towards the pitiful soon-to-be prisoner.

“I thought we said no damage.”

You shrug.

“This is no damage. Couldn’t help that my hand slipped.” You return.

Merlin is about to retort but your teammate stomps out of the abandoned church with his eyes narrowed to your figure that retreats to the comfort of your car.

You almost forget that you weren’t on this mission alone until the presence of your partner appears by your side and you’ve worked with him long enough to know that he’s shooting daggers on the side of your forehead.

“We agreed to bring him back in one piece.” Jungkook snarls at you.

You see that he’s way worse off compared to you. But it could have alluded to the fact that he warded off the rest of the guards that ambushed the two of you when you first arrived. The priority was finding Valentine and making sure that he was captured and under your scrutiny, so you agreed to head off first while Jungkook did the dirty work.

“His limbs are still attached to his body, I don’t see how I didn’t uphold to the end of our agreement?” You stop in your tracks, causing Jungkook to skid in his steps as his chest makes contact with your back.

When you turn around, he’s absolutely furious but that only spurs on the wide grin that appears on your face.

“Valentine looks like he’s been through six wars and a botched plastic surgery attempt!” He hisses.

You roll your eyes, folding your arms across your chest as you take in Jungkook’s growing rage. He’s never been the level-headed one between the two of you but you were also the more infuriating one. You were fully aware of that and you were going to use it to your advantage. You didn’t beckon your way through the misogynistic Kingsman system to be bossed around by some stereotypical posh man who didn’t know how to take no for an answer.

“And that’s what he deserved. I did what I had to do, Jeon.” You retort as venomously as he had.

Jungkook literally growls and you know you’ve annoyed him further because he was the typical Kingsman agent that attempted to uphold all the core values and paraded around the base with the manners maketh man phrase that he loved to milk. You, on the other hand, didn’t believe in that shit at all because you were not mannered and neither were you a man. Jungkook walked the ground like he had a stick up his ass half the time and you had no time to deal with his uptightness.

“We are on a mission, Lancelot. I go by Galahad.” He reminds you but you wave him off, turning around to head towards your car.

Jungkook grits his teeth as he sees Merlin drag a detained Valentine—who leaves a trail of blood in his path—to the van where he’d be brought back to the cells. He couldn’t believe that you had the audacity to go against direct orders from your superior like that! But at the same time, you’ve pulled things like this more than once and rubbed Jungkook the wrong way every time you’d brush off any lament that came from him.

He doesn’t think you were incapable of being a Kingsman agent, although it hasn’t always been that way. But he did believe that you should at least uphold the fundamental values that made Kingsman the reputable secret service it was.

“You act like Jeon is the worst of the names I call you.” You snort.

Jungkook wants to remind you that it’s not and he’s aware but he’s highly exhausted after fending off numerous men on his own while you got to catch the largest bait of the day, your pantsuit hardly creasing in the process.

“Would it kill you to follow orders?” Jungkook snaps.

The two of you reach the car and he snatches the keys from your palm before you can step into the driver’s seat. You raise an eyebrow at his gesture and look him up and down before your bored eyes rest upon his still pinched expression.

“If we get pulled over the police are going to think you’re a runaway.”

Jungkook scowls but enters the car anyway. You follow him shortly into the passenger seat as you immediately tug off the band that kept your hair in a ponytail as you ruffle your hair, slipping off the heels off your feet. You found it absurd that the agency demanded you wear heels onto a field mission purely because it was the Kingsman brand. It wasn’t like you couldn’t fight in them but obviously, it made you slightly slower than you’d like.

“You’re going to shut up and not say a single word during the ride back because I’ve had enough of that smart ass mouth of yours.” Jungkook snaps.

“It’s cute that you think I’m going to listen to you, Jeon.” You pat his thigh in consolation and he just curses under his breath.

Jungkook doesn’t have the energy to argue back because, for every remark he makes, he’s sure you have at least ten responses phrased in different ways to respond with.

“If you called me in for a staring contest then I’m afraid we have to reschedule. I’ve got a bottle of wine and some fried chicken waiting for me in my quarters.” You deadpan.

The man who sits in front of you is unnerved and you expect no less from the current Director of Kingsman. It also wasn’t the first time you’ve sat before him with the very same look marring his face. You know what the conversation is going to be about and he knows that you know.

“Agent Lancelot—”

You scoff when you lean forward, narrowing your eyes at your superior before he purses his lips at your gesture.

“How many times did I tell you to ditch the alias? It’s unnecessary especially since we’re in your office which is debatably the most vaulted place in all of the Kingsman quarters. It isn’t like Valentine is going to come crawling through the vents and demand for my birth certificate.”

Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose because when he hired you after you—impressively—passed the most gruesome and intense interview process with a blink of your eye, he didn’t know what to expect when he took the risk of recruiting the first-ever woman Kingsman.

But now that it’s been years since you’ve made a name for yourself and all other keen women who were looking for the opportunity to train as an agent, he realised that you were not just a skilled agent but a sharp and impenetrable fortress that would never let anyone tell her what to do.

Which was frankly—inconvenient—given the nature of Kingsman work that often relied on partnership and collaboration. But those words weren’t in your dictionary and Namjoon can see the way you look bored before the conversation started as you sit in front of him with a blank expression on your face.

“It’s nice to see you, ______,” Namjoon says dryly, clasping his fists together before leaning forward on his elbows that your faces are closer.

“Are you going to call me out for disobeying orders and bringing back Valentine like butchered meat? If you want an apology then you know you’re not going to get it,” You say blankly before turning in the swivel chair; already halfway off before Namjoon stops you.

“Jungkook has been telling me that you’ve been harder to work with recently.” Namjoon points out.

You scoff.

“Of course he’ll say that. I’m the better agent in the partnership and it bruises his puny masculine ego. Tell him to shove it and deal with it because it’s going to get harder.”

Namjoon shoots you an unimpressed glare before he wills himself to maintain a decent amount of level-headedness as he reasons with you.

“The both of you are talented agents—” Namjoon says slowly and you know he’s only saying that to appease you and not break his neutrality when it came to agents so you roll your eyes at his attempt, “—and because the two of you are always going on the most important missions it’s imperative that you work together.”

“Namjoon.” You blink, “Jeon is the most infuriating individual I have been condemned to meet and I literally have no idea why you won’t just switch me out with—I don’t know—Jin or something. He isn’t as mouthy or pretentious as Jeon.”

Namjoon sighs.

“Firstly, why can’t you ever call him by his first name? And secondly—you know why I can’t do that. Jin is in-charge of international operations and we need you here on domestic land. You and Jungkook are the most qualified agents of the region and it is in my best interest, as well as the nations to have you two work together.”

You wave him off before you push yourself off the chair completely, offering a sloppy salute out to his direction and you see Namjoon’s shoulder deflate at your stubbornness. But before you’re even able to make your way out of the door, you see a face that makes you scowl.

“Talking shit about me behind my back, babe?” Jungkook narrows his eyes at you.

You snort.

“If I wanted to talk shit about you, I’d do it to your face so I can watch your fragile ego shatter in front of my eyes. And—if you don’t want your balls detached from your body and served to you as a door gift then I suggest you never call me babe ever again.”

You’re about to push past him but his hand reaches for your shoulder and stops you with a tight grip as you snap your head to glare at him. You’re about to throw him off you, literally, but Jungkook is also skilled and he sees the telltale signs of your anger for him to defend himself against your attack.

When you pull his arm to lug his body over yours, he manages to lock your grip and bring you into a headlock—chest pressed to your back as he breathes down your hair while you feel the cocky smirk of his spread across his face.

“Let go of me you fucking shithead.” You snarl.

Jungkook snorts and only tightens his grip on you, twisting your chin between his thumb and index finger so you’re glaring directly at his face that is only a mere inches away from yours to give you a taunting grin that you want to slap off his face.

“You’ll never outdo the doer—” He whispers so low that it almost seems like it’s just the two of you, “—baby.”

You take that as a chance to knee him in the stomach and shove him away before you dust your hands on your pants, only to remember that you were still in Namjoon’s office and he likely saw the show that the two of you put on.

“I … I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that,” Namjoon clears his throat before gesturing to the two of you to take a seat as if you weren’t seconds away from walking out that door.

“Look, Namjoon—we—I—don’t need this group therapy session with him, okay? The two of us can work together but that doesn’t mean I’ll listen to what he says. His judgement is clouded by the systemic oppression that Kingsman entrenches to their agents and I won't stand for that.”

Jungkook’s fists tighten at your blatant disrespect to the organisation that employed you, and he remembers every reason why he hates you so much.

“_____,” Namjoon sighs, “I don’t understand why you walked into that interview years ago if you hate everything that Kingsman stands for.”

You clench your fists by your side because of course, he didn’t understand. And of course, Jungkook, Jimin, Jin and even Merlin didn’t understand. They didn’t need the luxury of understanding a system that favoured people like them.

“Then let me spell it out for you both,” You say emphasise each word with a spit.

Jungkook clenches his jaw but remains silent.

“I walked into that interview knowing I was going to ace that shit because I owed that first step to all the women that were used and abused by your Kingsmen. The women that were offered comfort for sex to only be shunned and disposed of by the esteemed agents you call Kingsmen. I am not a Kingsman and I am not Lancelot. I am ______ ______ and I’m a woman who fucking owned every single one of those male agents that day who decided to snicker and laugh at me when they wouldn’t be able to ever walk a mile in my shoes. I’m here because I have a point to prove.”

Namjoon is stunned to silence and you don’t know what triggers your outburst but you suppose its years of repression and having to work alongside a male peer that only sees you as impressive because of your gender and not because of your skills. The comments rubbed you the wrong way and you never looked back since.

“_______ …” Namjoon begins but you glare at him and that’s enough to send him silent.

But you see the way Jungkook’s jaw twitches and you know that sign well enough to know he’s about to say something you won’t like.

“That’s it? All the anger, bitchiness and attitude for you to prove a point?” Jungkook scoffs, “You’re that pathetic?”

“Jungkook—” Namjoon warns.

“You walked into this life and you need to deal with the consequences. I don’t give two shits your intention in Kingsman but you’re here and you’re working for the Kingsman so you better suck all that bitterness up or leave. Don’t you dare disrespect the foundation of what a Kingsman is.” Jungkook hisses.

The expression on your face is thunderous and Jungkook has never seen you like that, ever. Not even when the two of you were arguing head to head and everyone else thought someone was going to end up hurt. No, this is much more … threatening. A look that’s so unfamiliar but familiar enough because it’s the first time he’s seen it directed to him.

“I wonder why you’re so overprotective about the Kingsman name, hm?” You say blankly, “Is it because that your entire identity revolves around it? That you’ve never seen a world with eyes when you weren’t a Kingsman? You’re pathetic, Jeon. You’re nothing without the title but at least I know what I want. You don’t. You’re just hiding behind the suit and weapons to make you feel like a man but you’re just a sorry excuse of a human being that only sees the world through a bigoted lens.”

Jungkook is about to retort but you’re faster, and the action alarms both Namjoon and Jungkook when you—

“I quit.” You smile.

The badge and your key weapon with nothing but a slam to the table.

“______—“ Namjoon stands up but you don’t spare him another glance before you’re out the door.

[mountainsluna]

ouija boards

pairing(s): witch!wooyoung & witch!reader (as best friends)

also demon!san x reader

genre: humor + supernatural + fluff

word count: 2.2k

✩ [author’s note] Happy Halloween Everyone! 🎃 Tonight is a full blue moon and I am so insanely excited! Even if you don’t celebrate halloween, I hope you all have a good day :)

✩ masterlist

✩ requests :  check bio or masterlist ♡

You turned over to see San sleeping peacefully on your bed. His devil horn twitching as he snored softly. His eyes fluttered open at the sound of your giggling. “Can I help you, gorgeous?” He smirked, his voice deep with sleep. He movied his arm underneath you as your leg draped over his.

“No...I just can’t believe you’re mine.” You say, his jet black tail coming up to caress your leg.

He chuckled sleepily into your hair as his fingers played with the strands lazily. “I’m lucky you found me, angel.” He said softly, the ironic nickname making you smile. You ran a finger along his chest as he drifted back to sleep, your mind wandering off to your memory of the night you two met.

9 months ago...

“Ughhh!” Wooyoung groaned as he swung your apartment door open, plopping himself next to you on your sofa, waving his hand at the open door to close it.

“And what’s your problem?” You say, not bothering to look away from the tv show you were watching.

“I’m so bored. This has been the most boring week of my life!” You rolled your eyes at his juvenile complaints.

“So what do you suggest we do to liven up your life a bit, Jung Wooyoung?” 

“I don’t knowwww! But we’re witches! There has to be something fun we can do.” Wooyoung whined, he was silent a few seconds as you mumbled something about dismantling the patriarchy before he gasped, grabbing your attention. “Y/n! Do you still have that Ouija board your mom gave you?”

Your head snapped in his direction, your finger shooting up to close his mouth shut. “Wooyoung we can’t mess with it, you know that! And she gave it to me for safe keeping not for playing!”

Wooyoung motioned your hand away, hating when you used your powers on him. “Come onnn! It’s not any more dangerous than all the crazy things we’ve already done!” You shook your head turning away from him. “Y/n pleaseeee, do you want me to die of boredom?”

“It wouldn’t be my favorite way for you to die but I could live with it.” You chuckled as Wooyoung scoffed at your words.

“Fine.” Wooyoung vanished into smoke off of your sofa.

You let out a sigh, beginning to relax back into your show when he reappeared in the same spot. A large box, sealed in plastic in his hands. “Alright then, now we can have fun!” He said standing up to make his way to your bedroom.

“Hey! What is that?!” You followed after him, grabbing the box from his hands as he set up candles around your room. “Wooyoung did you not just hear a word I said?!”

“You said we couldn’t mess with your mom’s board, but this one is from the toy store down the street! Can you believe they market these to kids?” He says nonchalantly, tearing the plastic off as he sat on the floor with the box. You sat across from him stopping him from opening it.

“Wooyoung I’m serious, this isn’t a game! Not with the kind of powers we have.”

“Well if our powers are strong enough to actually conjure something then they should be strong enough to handle whatever comes through.”

You sighed in defeat, removing your hand from the box. You knew Wooyoung was too stubborn to listen to you, sometimes he needed to learn things the hard way. Why you let yourself get dragged into his nonsense, you didn’t know.

You closed your eyes, forming a circle of light around you both as Wooyoung finished setting up the board. Your hands joining his on the planchette. “Okay, spirits of y/n’s apartment. Let yourself be known.” Your eyes shot up at Wooyoung’s words as he smirked at you, you swore you could’ve ended him right then and there. But it didn’t move.

“Sh...should we swirl it around the board a bit? Ya know...like to wake it up?” He asked and you honestly didn’t know.

“Like how they move it on the movies?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay go.” You fingers pushed the planchette around the board as Wooyoung asked again, stopping after a few seconds. Nothing.

“Ugh either your apartment is too cleansed or this board is a piece of trash.” Wooyoung said, leaning away from the board.

“Well, I’m fine with either of those being true.” You said placing the board back into the box, shoving it against Wooyoung’s chest. “Now get that thing out of my house.”

“Scaredy cat. You’re lucky I have work in the morning or I’d stay longer.” You walked him to the door, waving goodbye before closing and locking it. As you turned away from the door a heavy feeling of uneasiness fell over you. It was the kind of feeling that had you looking over your shoulder at every noise you swore you heard.

Once you were settled into bed, you tried your hardest to fall asleep. Damn Wooyoung. You were sure it was the bad feeling you had from the Ouija board he brought that was still lingering within you. You took a deep breath, as you attempted to meditate yourself to sleep.

Just as you had begun to drift off there was a loud noise coming from your hallway closet. Your eyes shot open, the realization hitting you that that was where you kept your mom’s old board.

You made your way to the hallway, waving your hand slowly to open the door. You noticed the box had fallen off the shelf as it was now laying on the floor. It absolutely had to be the source of all the uneasiness you were feeling, you pulled the box out walking it to your living room coffee table. You weren’t one to play around when it came to negative energies, the longer they stayed the harder it was to get them to leave. So you wanted this one gone as soon as possible.

You took out the board, not bothering to cast a circle. You wanted whatever was trying to scare you out in the open so you could take care of it face to face.

Placing your fingers on top of the planchette, you let out a deep breath before speaking. “Alright, who’s in my house?” You asked, not letting your voice waver.

A jolt of electricity ran through your fingertips as it began to move, you gasped, your hands instinctively flying off of the small piece of wood. But it moved right along without you. Spelling out the letters S.A.N.

You sat there in complete shock, your voice stuck in your throat. You cleared you throat before speaking again. “San?...What do you want?” The board began to shake at your words. You pushed yourself back as the board hovered then flew towards you, you ducked to the side as it collided with the wall behind you. The broken board casting a red hue throughout the room.

You shot up, turning around to be met with a tall male figure sitting atop your kitchen counter. He was dressed in all black, horns on full display, long tail swaying casually behind him. “Y...you’re a demon.” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you spoke.

“Well, look at you. Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to play with Ouija boards, darling?” He asked, his deep chuckle sending a shiver up your spine. He settled himself to the floor, taking a few steps towards you. Your hand shot out in an attempt to use your powers to push him back but it merely caused his shoulder to waver a bit, mainly from the surprise of your actions, not the actual force.

“Ah I see...you’re a witch aren’t you?” He smirked wickedly at the realization. “Why don’t you show me what other tricks you have up your sleeve?” San stepped near you, his black tail coming up to caress your arm, you nearly swatted it away. “Go ahead...I won’t hurt you.”

“Bite me.” You spat, determined to show him you weren’t scared of him. But your actions only amused the demon in front of you.

The laugh that came from him echoed throughout the room. “Don’t tempt me, darling. I already think you’re a pretty little thing, your feistiness is just gonna make me wanna keep you even more.” 

Before you could respond, San began to wince at a loud ringing in his ear. The noise rising so loud, you had to cover your ears as well. Once the ringing stopped, San cleared his throat, standing so close you had to look raise your head to look up at him. “It appears I have some business to take care of back home.” He said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “What a shame...I was looking forward to playing with my little witch a bit longer.” He smirked, running a finger along the underside of your chin, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes. His irises glowed red as he winked down at you.

“Yeah, what a shame.” You said, not breaking eye contact with him.

“Aww, don’t sound too sad, darling.” He leaned down to your ear. “I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other from now on.”

“Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” San let out a deep chuckle at your words before vanishing into a black smoke. The uneasy feeling you felt earlier disappearing along with him.

However, now that you think about it, even after he returned. The bad feeling never came back with him. In fact, you felt even more protected having him around now.

You stood there in complete shock. Your legs unwilling to move. Once you snapped out of it, you snapped your fingers, your phone appearing in your hand as you dialed Wooyoung.

“Y/n this better be insanely important, it’s 2 in the-”

“There was a demon in my apartment.”

“.....” “..........”

“Woo? Wooyoun-”

“A WHAT?!” He yelled into the phone, fully awake after your words had registered.

“A DEMONNNN, WOOYOUNG.”

“OH MY GOD.” His voice sounding way too close.

You screamed loudly, whipping around to see the dark haired boy standing behind you still holding the phone to his ear. His bed head and lack of pants catching you off guard. “JUNG WOOYOUNG!” You hit his chest with a little too much force as you caught your breath.

“Ow! I didn’t mean to scare you! Tell me everything! How are you even still alive? Did he try to kill you? What did he look like?”

You held your head in your hands, making your way to the sofa, Wooyoung following behind you. You let out a sigh before speaking trying to recall the events. “No, he didn’t try to kill me he was a little intimidating but overall he was just...really...flirty?”

Wooyoung laughed loudly at the last word. “Huh...a flirty demon...Was he scary looking like the red all over kinda cartoon ones?”

“Besides the horns and tail, he looked human. He wasn’t too tall...taller than me. He was dressed in all black, his hair was black, his eyes were dark red but up close they were almost bright red.”

“Well damn, y/n. He sounds like your type.” He teased.

You threw a pillow at him, rolling your eyes at his words.

“You must’ve gotten pretty close to him to have seen his eyes change like that...Y/n~...Did you like the flirty demon?”

“Will you stop it!?” Grabbing the pillow you had thrown, using it to hit him repeatedly as he tossed his head back in laughter.

“I’m just saying!! Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad having a demon around if he likes you. He could protect us from evil things we can’t handle.”

“Yeah when have you ever met a demon willing to protect two amateur witches just for the fun of it?”

But that’s exactly what had ended up happening. Not necessarily for the fun of it but because he actually ended up falling for you.

San did continue to show up after that. Usually just to bother you as you studied up on your spells. But then there was the time your oven broke and San sat in front of it for a whole 20 minutes, heating it up enough so that your cookies could finish baking.

Or that one day your heater went out and he stayed overnight to cuddle you, claiming a demon’s body was warmer than any heater you could buy anyways. Even though after all these months you’re sure he gives off the exact same amount of body heat as any other person on the planet.

At first, you told yourself the reason you kept him around was for protection, but now you could admit that it ended up being for your own comfort. Wooyoung hadn’t seemed to mind either, also claiming if it hadn’t been for him, you two would’ve never met so now you owed him a boyfriend too.

San would also say he got along well with your best friend for the most part, usually bonding over the pranks they played on you from time to time. Although it did get annoying you would get them back in your own ways.

It was an unconventional relationship in the most unconventional way but you cared so much for him and you knew he’d never hurt you. You were absolutely in love with your demon boyfriend.

[yekistraight]

Hey, could you explain what being a feminist means? I’ve heard all these terms before, and there’s this huge stigma around it. So do you think there’s a way you could clarify at least what your beliefs are, and what you believe it to be? I’m simply trying to study stuff and see what it’s become or is. Thank you.

Sorry I wrote so much i just wanted to make it comprehensive:

General definition of feminist is someone who believes in the socio-economic equality of the sexes. In the beginning this was a straightforward ideology to follow. Women needed to be equal to men. It’s only fair, there’s no reason not to be. But sharing power is not something the ruling majority particularly enjoys so there’s been some bumps in the road. Decades and decades of bumps.

The feminists of the past started this push a long time ago with one message: “we want to be taken seriously, we are humans too and we need rights that benefit us and protect us from you[men]” and they were right. Sex based crimes against women were happening at an alarming rate. So much so that it had become part of some cultures and traditions, meaning it would be defended and men would be protected while women basically died, physically and socially. Women lived in fear and helplessness, being sold a dream of subservience promoted by religion and ego in exchange for protection from men. What about the women that still, despite the odds, wanted to choose a different path? Well, they were brave enough to step out of line and others followed. They exist throughout history, inspiring other women will their bravery and confidence, proving that it was possible to have the power and authority that men had. Now imagine giving every woman that access to power? They’d have everything right? Well feminism didn’t start like that (it was racially exclusive actually) but fortunately the ideologies spread out through cities, across oceans and into continents where women wanted, no, NEEDED such power; the power to change their destinies that had been set upon them by another mere human being.

So feminism is like a sisterhood, where we’re only related by a common goal to protect each other while trying to defeat our common enemy. Here’s where the simplistic ideology begins to mutate based on strategy and cultural progression.

Feminism is a sisterhood, but not a monolith. There’s been different waves (eras) of feminism where each sisterhood used different tactics to achieve their goals for equality. Its like making a new checklist after the old one gets checked off. However there’s been one item that still needs a lot of work before ticking off and that’s dismantling gender roles. Gender roles are the root cause of every.single.thing. Toxic masculinity, performative femininity. Gender roles were created to control humans and keep them in their place. For a feminist to push her way into male dominated spaces, she must first acknowledge that gender roles have been constructed to work against her and break through it. So take note, everything is the way it is because of gender roles.

In this era, the sisterhood has been split into two major groups, two warring tribes if you will: libfems and radfems.

Liberal Feminists accept everyone. They use the tactic of assimilation, where they water down feminist ideologies to make it inclusive for everyone. They follow the lead of oppressed minorities who reclaimed slurs and instead reclaim methods tused to oppress women that past waves of feminists fought to dismantle. Remember what I said about gender roles? These women are bringing it back and think they’re reclaiming it. How do you reclaim something that hasn’t been dismantled yet?The only power they’re concerned with is the feeling of superiority that comes from thinking bowing down to the patriarchy is their idea. Their feminism tackles issues like rape, victim blaming and misogyny, things that affect them personally, while taking on the burden of other marginalised groups as their own, pushing their own goals to the backseat while feeling a self-righteous high. Basically, they’re activists who have lost the plot but would keep pushing blindly than admit it. The second group was born from libfems that wanted more than a feel good pat on the back from the patriarchy for not being too interfering.

Radical feminists are still following the original objective of their predecessors. They still have their eyes open to sex-based oppression and are aware there’s still a lot of work to be done. They don’t put the opposite sex’s needs above their own or let other group’s ideologies influence theirs and because of this, other groups as well as libfems have dubbed them as enemies to progress. Ironic isn’t it? The group that still fights for sexual equality has been silenced by none other than their own. Of course hatred for this group of feminists didn’t come out of nowhere. Radfems and their female-only values are presumed to hurt trans women, as trans women are biologically male and don’t have the same sex based experiences as biological women. Trans activists took these as transphobic fighting words and ostracised radfems, silencing them and their ideologies, claiming that everything they fought for was an attack against the trans community. Conservative americans also share some radfem values, basically the one on keeping the movement focused on female only issues, and because the right is notoriously bigoted (ironic because conservatives are the ones who uphold the gender roles feminists fight against so a conservative feminist is paradoxical) this is enough to tell people that radfems can’t be trusted. That they’re all racist, transphobic white supremacists. Because all groups that share similar ideologies are bad. The public, not wanting to be on the Unpopular Opinion side of history, shifted away and further pushed radfems into the background while libfems and their blind acceptance values were hailed as the patron saints of feminism.

So what feminism was and what it is now are vastly different. It started as a movement in different countries with different goals, then it graduated and took on more serious topics. It was like a game where every level gets tougher to prepare you for that last boss, the one who holds all the power you need to physically change your reality.

Today in the year 2021, young girls are being told that it’s feminist to enjoy selling their bodies for money. That it’s the same as working in a mine (a common comparative statement). That it’s feminist to look as womanly as the gender roles men created dictate. That it’s feminist to watch porn and be happy your romantic partner watches it to; this means you’re sexually liberated. Grown women go to Tiktok full of minors in the style of pimps to show off stacks of money they’ve made from pleasing men. They say “i did it because i wanted to and so should you”. Minors are all over twitter trying to lure men with financial dominatrix tags. They can’t wait till they become legal to start selling their nude bodies to men. They were told it would make them feel powerful. People who are skeptical are shamed into silence, because the popular crowd is always in control and no one wants to be the odd one out.

Now compare that to women who spend time researching horrifying news of sexual violence still happening today. Women still having to sell themselves to survive in 2021 is a clear indicator that we’re still not taken seriously. Sex buying, pimping and displaying women as commodities is the reason little girls are being stolen off the streets and shipped off to a disgusting dreg who think he’s owed sexual satisfaction.

Radfems want to end child sex trafficking, sex slavery, wedding night virginity checks, honour killings, femicide, sewing up little girls vaginas to avoid them exploring their sexuality before their wedding night and bring attention to way more hardcore shit being run by top dogs who are cooperating with the old powers that influence the governments.

Whose side do you think the media will be on? Whose side is worth not risking ruffling feathers?

Feminism has become many things now. You can choose the one that reminds you of the cruelty of man or the one that creates a comfortable fantasy of false empowerment while women’s violence continues. Both get stigmatised anyway.

If it wasn’t obvious already, I’m a radical feminist.

I’m an autistic radfem living in a backwards country where the lgbt community can’t thrive so there’s no pride parades, no trans movement, nothing that can be publicised anyway. I can’t create a fantasy where everything works because nothing works. Women are dying around me everyday for being female, my best friend is trapped with an abusive father who hates her for being a female firstborn (something babies get killed for), I’m not worthy of basic respect without a husband, a poor woman from a muslim state gets death threats from her fellow muslims for wearing a backless top while a rich married one gets praised and women can’t apply for anything important without a man’s permission.

Now why on earth would i want to pamper the gender that made and uphold those laws? The battle here is still greatly a battle of the sexes. Despite this stale level of progress, our movement, like many others have allies. Male allies are great, allies are great, we need them to push buttons yes but also remember they can never fully understand what we feel. All they can do is try their best to help and in return we give them acknowledgement and support; so no we’re not supposed to be misandrists or transphobes. We just hate anyone who uplifts what we and our ancestors have been fighting to destroy.

That’s all

[ginmo]

...This response took me a million years, because there’s so much textbook abuse and mislabeling that I was like where do I even fucking start and how do I come at this. I’m still not happy with my approach but here we go. Sorry. This is going to be long. 

Why do people abuse?

Domestic violence and abuse stem from a desire to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abusive people believe they have the right to control and restrict their partners, and they may enjoy the feeling that exerting power gives them. They often believe that their own feelings and needs should be the priority in their relationships, so they use abusive tactics to dismantle equality and make their partners feel less valuable and deserving of respect in the relationship. [x]

Abuse is habitual. Everyone on the planet has either intentionally or unintentionally done an abusive act, emotionally or physically, in one of their relationships at some point in their life, but that doesn’t mean that relationship was abusive or that the pair was mutually abusive.

It’s also not uncommon for an abusive relationship to have a degree of abuse from both parties involved. Many victims will unconsciously do something abusive as an attempt to bring balance to the relationship and gain some control, but those incidents are isolated and not “habitual,” which puts them in the overall victim category. 

In this abusive relationship: 

Jaime is the main victim. Cersei is the main abuser. There’s nothing “mutual” about it.

“lmaoooo Jaime CHOSE to be in this relationship”

I’m aware that GRRM probably intended Jaime to totally jump in 100% by his choice, but that doesn’t change the fact that literally every person in an abusive relationship appears to have chosen to remain in that relationship. Hell, I knew my abuser was abusive before I even got into a relationship with him, but I did it anyway because, man, he was charming and persuasive. He unconsciously used that charm, manipulation, and seduction to keep me hooked while chipping away at my identity. Victims of abuse all have a choice, in theory, but the reality of it is messy, because there’s manipulation at play and a great degree of delusion.

Cersei is guilty of narcissistic abuse. 

It’s perfectly valid to view Cersei as a narcissist. She obviously isn’t diagnosed with anything, but I’m reading her as a textbook narcissist so… let’s play. Before I dive into all the abuse, I’m going to dig into Cersei’s narcissism, because it plays into the interpretation of their dynamic. 

“You can argue, well, does she genuinely love her children, or does she just love them because they’re her children? There’s certainly a great level of narcissism in Cersei. She has an almost sociopathic view of the world and civilization.” (Also look up: malignant narcissism and sociopathy)

GRRM then immediately makes a comparison to Jaime, contrasting their abilities to love. 

“At the same time, what Jaime did is interesting.”

He goes on to describe Jaime’s action of pushing Bran, implying he did it out of genuine love for others (since he used the word genuinely for Cersei and then compared). [x]

“LMAO BUT JAIME IS A NARCISSIST TOO” 

No lmfao. Someone can appear narcissistic at times and swing on that spectrum, but that doesn’t make them a narcissist or show they have “a great level of narcissism.” One of the main defining characteristics of a narcissist is a lack of empathy. I’m not even going to dig up all of the empathy examples, because the above comparison from GRRM should be enough to tell you he isn’t writing Jaime as a narcissist and going that route would take this way off topic. Just… read his chapters lol. You don’t even have to get far into his POVs to see empathy and how his thought process is intentionally written to be different than Cersei’s. 

Anyway, my level of sympathy for Cersei is entirely wrapped around her narcissism. To me, what’s sad here is the idea she can’t experience true intimacy and is completely unaware of it. She loves Jaime, and I truly believe she believes she loves Jaime, but in reality it’s only at the capacity that narcissism allows. 

Narcissistic Abuse: 

“Narcissists don’t really love themselves. Actually, they’re driven by shame. It’s the idealized image of themselves, which they convince themselves they embody, that they admire. But deep down, narcissists feel the gap between the façade they show the world and their shame-based self. They work hard to avoid feeling that shame.

Many of the narcissist’s coping mechanisms are abusive — hence the term, “narcissistic abuse.” [x]

I mean… that’s kinda sad? I feel for her in that sense, but, as the article says, “Abuse is abuse, no matter the abuser’s diagnosis.” 

Needs to Look Like Her

There are several examples of Cersei commenting on his changed appearance and how she doesn’t like it. That isn’t too weird, since people have their own personal preferences and hey, maybe she just doesn't like beards? But no. That’s not the case. She doesn’t like the changes, because it means he looks less like her. It 100% is about Jaime being male Cersei - an extension of herself. 

“Nor did Jaime help her mood when he turned up all in white and still unshaven, to tell her how he meant to keep her son from being poisoned. - AFFC

“his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. I don’t look as much like Cersei this way. She’ll hate that.” - ASOS

(and lol so tempted to go into how Jaime’s facial hair is symbolic of his identity shift and how that relates to the separation with his twin). 

“Jaime likes looking like Cersei too”

Oh does he? If that’s still so then why isn’t he shaving his beard for her? 

Has he ever been disgusted by her looks? Does he ever look at siblings and get irritated if he thinks they look more alike? When he noticed his change in appearance did he think, “I hate that we look different” or did he think, “Cersei will hate that”...? (Also, when he thinks that he would be Cersei in fucking ASOS - *pre-handchop which is pre-arc-* that’s a laughably obvious set up for the identity aspect of his arc with that belief being destroy, you dense- ...*deep breath* moving on)

I’m sure he romanticized the looks to an extent, but it’s been made clear that it’s far more important to Cersei than it is to him, since she often makes note of his change in appearance. This is even shown in a scene where Cersei is observing Loras and Margaery and getting annoyed that they look more like twins than she and Jaime do. 

For some context, Cersei was watching them dance.

“They could be twins, Cersei thought as she watched them. Ser Loras was a year older than his sister, but they had the same big brown eyes, the same thick brown hair falling in lazy ringlets to their shoulders, the same smooth unblemished skin. A ripe crop of pimples would teach them some humility. Loras was taller and had a few wisps of soft brown fuzz on his face, and Margaery had a woman’s shape, but elsewise they were more alike than she and Jaime. 

That annoyed her too. -AFFC”

Narcissistic abuse includes emotional and physical and is used as an umbrella term for the two when they’re done by a narcissist, therefore slightly changing the context of the abuse. 

I’m not going to pretend that GRRM sat down with a sexual narcissist checklist, created from the hours of research through his dinosaur computer, BUT he clearly is aware of basic narcissistic and abusive dynamics. It’s… really not that hard. And even if you don’t think he consciously did it, her behaviors are still aligned.

“LmAo CeRsEi’S ‘EvIL VaGiNa’ - MiSoGyNiStS!”

…manipulation through sex is an actual fucking thing that’s genderless.

Right lmfao this is going to be long.

“A sexual narcissist is a person who uses sex as a tool to emotionally manipulate their victims to get what they want.”

People admit that she uses sex as a tool to get stuff done, claiming its her form of power in the patriarchy. What they fail to consider is that Cersei does this frequently to Jaime - a person who is meant to be her lover - which… makes him a victim of narcissistic abuse. Don’t believe me? 

I’m going to be using this article to break apart sexual narcissism. If you want more just research. They all pretty much say the same thing, but I chose this one because I prefer the structure. The article breaks examples into categories: 

Sex is used to manipulate/persuade

Excessive focus on physical over emotional

You Exist to Serve the Narcissist’s Needs

Constantly Puts You Down

Reacts Negatively When You Don’t Give Them What They Want

Treats You Poorly / Neglects You After Sex

Infidelity, Violence, and Sexual Addiction  

This whole post has been a nightmare to organize. Tbh most of the examples I’ll use fall under MULTIPLE categories. The scenes are like fucking Russian dolls of abuse. Or like… Abuse Inception. Abuse within abuse within abuse, so I had to just pick and choose which ones to put where. 

Charming and Romantic – But with a Catch 

“Many sexual narcissists can come across as alluring and attractive, especially during the initial stages of a relationship, when they’re trying to win you over. Like a master salesperson, they use charisma to get your attention, flattery to make you feel special, seduction (flirting, gifts, dinners, get-aways, etc.) to lift you off your feet, and persuasion to get you to give them what they want. Some sexual narcissists are very good in bed (at least they think they are), for sex is used as a tool to impress, entrap, and manipulate.

While there’s absolutely nothing wrong inherently with being charming, romantic, and a good lover, the narcissist crafts these traits in order to use others. He or she is not really interested in you, but only what he wants to extract from you (often to fulfill an inner emptiness due to the inability to create true intimacy).”

You can even find some meta that almost word for word says what’s described above, but they erase her doing this to Jaime - her partner- and frame these actions as feminist lol. 

Eel Alley. 

“But,” Jaime said, “there’s Casterly Rock …” 

“Is it a rock you want? Or me?” 

She then starts to seduce him to show him what he can have, to have the scale weigh in her favor. Manipulation through sex.

“He remembered that night as if it were yesterday. They spent it in an old inn on Eel Alley, well away from watchful eyes. Cersei had come to him dressed as a simple serving wench, which somehow excited him all the more. Jaime had never seen her more passionate. Every time he went to sleep, she woke him again. By morning Casterly Rock seemed a small price to pay to be near her always. He gave his consent, and Cersei promised to do the rest.” - AFFC

There's no indication whatsoever that Jaime had any intent to NOT wed and be Lord of Casterly Rock. He wasn’t really into Lysa but he never straight up refused to take on the role he was born into. In fact, he even kinda fancied Catelyn lol.

“Lord Hoster kept me for a fortnight whilst mulling his reply, and sat me beside his daughter Lysa at every meal.” 

“Small wonder you took the white. I’d have done the same.” 

“Oh, Lysa was not so fearsome as all that.” She had been a pretty girl, in truth; dimpled and delicate, with long auburn hair. Timid, though. Prone to tongue-tied silences and fits of giggles, with none of Cersei’s fire. Her older sister had seemed more interesting, though Catelyn was promised to some northern boy, the heir of Winterfell …”

And lol

“but at that age, no girl interested Jaime half so much as Hoster’s famous brother, who had won renown fighting the Ninepenny Kings upon the Stepstones.” - AFFC

He doesn’t even say, “but at that age, no girl interested Jaime so much as Cersei.” No. The Blackfish. Had Catelyn been unbetrothed, it’s not a stretch to think that Jaime would have been entertained by the idea of their betrothal. This was before Cersei seduced him at Eel Alley.

“hE GaVe HiS ConSenT”

Yeah, after she manipulated him through sex LOL. IT’S RIGHT THERE. 

“Jaime always wanted to join the KG!” 

“He had joined the Kingsguard for love, of course”.-ASOS

(HEY! Just like that tall, blonde, “beauty” he’s been hanging out with HHMM)

He wasn’t going to join the KG before Cersei gave him “love,” which is why he was asking about Casterly Rock and talking about Tywin, as if this was an idea he hadn’t thought of before. (Knight and KG are not synonymous). He joined “for love” AFTER she gave him intimacy, showing him what he could have if he agreed to stay by her side forever. 

She even murdered Melara -HER FRIEND- for saying she wanted to marry Jaime one day. She kept trying to rob Jaime of a life outside of her, and yes I use the word “rob,” because it was through narcissistic abuse. She literally turned up the passion and kept waking him up with sex until he gave his consent. 

And “by morning” Casterly Rock was “a small price to pay.” A SMALL PRICE TO PAY. That means it was worth something of value to him and then “by morning,” after she woke him up over and over and over until he agreed, it became a “small price.” 

Also keep in mind that when Cersei was begging Jaime to join the KG to be close to her, she was legitimately crushing hard on Rhaegar not long before... she’s allowed to fantasize about marriage with Rhaegar, but Jaime isn’t allowed to fit his role and marry?

“once she had drawn a picture of herself flying behind Rhaegar on a dragon, her arms wrapped tight about his chest. When Jaime had discovered it she told him it was Queen Alysanne and King Jaehaerys. [...] By night the prince played his silver harp and made her weep. When she had been presented to him, Cersei had almost drowned in the depths of his sad purple eyes. He has been wounded, she recalled thinking, but I will mend his hurt when we are wed. Next to Rhaegar, even her beautiful Jaime had seemed no more than a callow boy. The prince is going to be my husband, she had thought, giddy with excitement, and when the old king dies I’ll be the queen.” -AFFC

Like… fuck… 

Later on, when Jaime is developing into his own being and becoming aware of the bs, the Eel Alley scene is brought up again.

“Cersei.” He spoke slowly, like a man waking from a dream, still wondering where he was. “What hour is it?” 

“The hour of the wolf.” His sister lowered her hood, and made a face. “The drowned wolf, perhaps.” She smiled for him, so sweetly.” 

There’s the use of charm. Normally you could argue that she was honestly happy to see him. But what does she say next and what does he associate with that encounter? 

“Do you remember the first time I came to you like this? It was some dismal inn off Weasel Alley, and I put on servant’s garb to get past Father’s guards.”

 “I remember. It was Eel Alley.” She wants something of me. “Why are you here, at this hour? What would you have of me?” His last word echoed up and down the sept, mememememememememememe, fading to a whisper. For a moment he dared to hope that all she wanted was the comfort of his arms.”

And he wasn’t wrong. She did want something from him. So no. It’s not in his head. 

“Jaime, Kevan has refused me. He will not serve as Hand [...] “You must be Tommen’s Hand.” -AFFC

This time he realizes what she’s doing. Using her outfit, she’s causing a recall to a past manipulative event that worked, exposing her intent, which is why Jaime immediately recognizes it as something she wants from him. This also implies that he now views their encounter at Eel Alley as Cersei wanting something of him since the two encounters were directly associated.

Here’s another moment of manipulation by a sexual narcissist.

“My sister wanted the girl to lose a hand. The old penalty, for striking one of the blood royal. Robert told her she was cruel and mad. They fought for half the night … well, Cersei fought, and Robert drank. Past midnight, the queen summoned me inside.”

Failing to get Robert to side with her and do something, she then summoned Jaime to give him the attention she knows he wants. You see where I’m going here?

“The king was passed out snoring on the Myrish carpet. I asked my sister if she wanted me to carry him to bed. She told me I should carry her to bed, and shrugged out of her robe. I took her on Raymun Darry’s bed after stepping over Robert. If His Grace had woken I would have killed him there and then. He would not have been the first king to die upon my sword … but you know that story, don’t you?” He slashed at a tree branch, shearing it in half. “As I was fucking her, Cersei cried, ‘I want.’ I thought that she meant me, but it was the Stark girl that she wanted, maimed or dead.” The things I do for love. - AFFC

This isn’t Jaime interpreting the incident incorrectly. This is character growth. 

GRRM is speaking through Jaime by destroying the illusion and becoming aware of the reality he has been living. Because the lights are turning on for him, the things I do for love can take on a new meaning here. It’s more like the things I do to earn intimacy. He’s jogging down memory lane and realizing that every time (shown or told about in the books) she approached him she was trying to get something from him or trying to get him to agree with her. There was always a motive apart from a genuine desire to give and receive love, no strings attached. 

Excessive Focus on Physical Over Emotional 

“The sexual narcissist’s style of love-making is often focused on appearance and image, with a keen dislike for flaws and weaknesses from oneself or the partner. The love-making is less about two human beings connecting, and more about measuring up to idealized expectations. Try as the sexual narcissist might at physical grandiosity, there’s inevitably something missing in their performance: genuine human emotions.”

Mm yes.Going back to this as an example:

“his face was thinner, with hollows under his eyes and lines he did not remember. I don’t look as much like Cersei this way. She’ll hate that.” - ASOS

“The Targaryens wed brother to sister for three hundred years, to keep the bloodlines pure. And Jaime and I are more than brother and sister. We are one person in two bodies. We shared a womb together. He came into this world holding my foot, our old maester said. When he is in me, I feel … whole.” - AGOT

“I need you. I need my other half.” He could hear the rain pattering against the windows high above. “You are me, I am you. I need you with me. In me. Please, Jaime. Please.” - AFFC

People use Cersei’s romanticized twin comments as evidence to show that she genuinely loves Jaime. This also can connect to the GRRM quote mentioned above about her genuine love capabilities which can be argued as “lol no”. 

She does not have “genuine human emotions,” because her words and feelings are from a narcissistic desire to be whole through the idea that Jaime is an extension of herself. So… yeah, if she thinks Jaime is herself as a male (“you are me, I am you”), then she’s missing half of her until he’s inside her, making her whole. Her, her, her, her. 

Also, that’s a move to try to strip him of his own identity, his own person, and is a fucking massive red flag that this is how the relationship began. Does he ever try to persuade her to do shit by reminding her that they’re the same person? Like ffs. 

She does this while trying to manipulate him using sex. He’s not listening to her, so she begs him to be inside her. Hey, why not? We’ve seen this work before. 

“Every time he went to sleep, she woke him again. By morning Casterly Rock seemed a small price to pay to be near her always. He gave his consent, and Cersei promised to do the rest.” - ASOS

You Exist to Serve the Narcissist’s Needs. 

“After the initial courtship period during which he or she tries to impress and please, a sexual narcissist may begin to demand that you cater primarily to his own selfish needs. He may expect you to be “on call”

Okay I bolded that “on call” bit, because she does go to him when she wants something, and then gets hella mad when he refuses. But I know some people will use this to be like BuT JaImE TaKeS hEr WhEn He WaNts and like.. Yeah, fair enough, you can make that argument, but… that’s leaving out context. He goes to her because she’s withholding intimacy and only initiates when she wants something from him. I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say it does fit. Remember what I said in the beginning that it’s not uncommon for victims to act in ways that are problematic (hate that word) to try to get back some control? Yeah. Apply this here. His unhealthy response is a reaction to her using intimacy as a tool.

“and satisfy sexual desires at his pleasure, require you to engage in sexual acts which only he enjoys [doesn’t really apply], or demand that you limit your other activities to be more available. Rather than being an individual with your own thoughts, feelings and priorities. The sexual narcissist expects you to exist merely as an extension of his or her wishes. ” 

Cersei resents Jaime for disagreeing with her and thinking on his own. Literally the “you are me” bs and how she gets really angry when he begins to challenge her and goes against her wishes. She views him as someone who needs to cater to her, All he’s doing for her to slap and throw nasty words and cups at him is just... not doing what she asks him to do... his existence in Cersei’s life is simply to cater to her. 

Constantly Puts You Down 

“In order to put up a facade of superiority, and disguise hidden insecurity and inadequacy, some narcissists will constantly put other people down, to boost their own desirability and acceptability. In a sexual relationship, some (but not all) narcissists may also target their partners for ridicule, blame, shame, sarcasm, and overall marginalization. By subjecting the partner to an inferior psychological position, the narcissist is able to exercise a greater degree of dominance and manipulation.” 

I mean… Do I really need to provide examples here? This is actually similar to the next one, so I’m going to put my examples there.

Reacts Negatively When You Don’t Give Them What They Want

“Since many sexual narcissists can't stand disappointment or rejection, they will frequently react negatively when you don’t give them what they want, in the way they want it. Some of the common responses include:

Anger – Tantrum. Negative judgment. Personal attacks. Ridicule.

Passive-Aggression – The cold shoulder. The silent treatment. Withhold of love and affection [which ties in to withholding intimacy examples I provided above]. Sarcasm. Calculated separation.

Emotional Coercion – Blame. Guilt trip. Calling the partner ungrateful. Threaten to withhold love and intimacy (such as it is). Pretend narcissistic victimhood.

None of these responses are those of a mature, reasonable adult. The sexual narcissist, by acting like a petulant child or a bully, hopes the drama and manipulation will hook you back in, so you’ll once again “belong” to him or her.”

Some of this is physical abuse too, so I’m sticking those under here. And yes, slapping counts as physical abuse and it doesn’t matter who the hell does it.

“Rule? I said naught of ruling. I shall rule until my son comes of age.” 

“I don’t know who I pity more,” her brother said. “Tommen, or the Seven Kingdoms.” She slapped him. Jaime’s arm rose to catch the blow, cat-quick … but this cat had a cripple’s stump in place of a right hand. Her fingers left red marks on his cheek. - AFFC

Keep in mind that every time Jaime’s reflex goes to his face to block a blow it’s a sign that this is a behavior he’s used to. Sometimes people use the, “I don’t know who I pity more” line as well for “mutual abuse.” Context and… where’s the lie? Lmao. 

Most of the time he’s being straight with her. Snarky ass? Sure. Abusive? No. Intent is key. She puts him down to shame him and attempts to decrease his self-worth. This is a control move, because she throws cruel words at him when she is unsuccessful in getting what she wants. He sometimes calls her a fool and one time asks if she’s drunk or stupid, because she’s legit spiraling into a paranoia and he’s going wtf lol. He’s not trying to make her dependent on him through the use of his poor language. 

Anyway, back to physical.

Jaime felt his anger rising. “True, Loras does not leer at your teats the way Ser Osmund does, but I hardly think—” 

“Think about this.” Cersei slapped his face. Jaime made no attempt to block the blow. 

“I see I need a thicker beard, to cushion me against my queen’s caresses.” He wanted to rip her gown off and turn her blows to kisses. He’d done it before, back when he had two good hands.”

People love to use this against Jaime. Ffs. He’s literally trying to fucking defend himself from physical abuse by trying to diffuse the situation through sex, turning “blows to kisses.” This is one of those messy situations where it’s a victim trying to gain back control in an unhealthy, arguably abusive way. Does that make them anywhere near “mutually” abusive as if they’re 50/50? LMFAO no.

“Would Your Grace honor her white knight with a dance?” She gave him a withering look. “And have you fumbling at me with that stump? No. I will let you fill my wine cup for me, though. If you think you can manage it without spilling.” - AFFC

She turns him down with her disgust over his missing hand and then allows him to fill her cup I- 

“Get out, I said. I am sick of looking at that ugly stump of yours. Get out!” To speed him on his way, she heaved her wine cup at his head. She missed, but Jaime took the hint.” - AFFC

Alright this big one… 

WST:

“You mustn’t let Father take him from me. Jaime, please. 

“I can talk to him, but he will not listen …” 

“He will if you agree to leave the Kingsguard.” 

“I’m not leaving the Kingsguard.” His sister fought back tears. 

“Jaime, you’re my shining knight. You cannot abandon me when I need you most! He is stealing my son, sending me away … and unless you stop him, Father is going to force me to wed again!” 

Guilt tripping and playing up the loving language. 

Also, off topic, but I just want to point out that it’s funny Cersei came to him in Eel Alley to persuade him to join the KG to be with her. Jaime said they can’t get Tywin’s approval, so then she fucks him all night and he agrees. They played as lovers before that moment, but that was the night that sealed their affair to one another, to remove himself off the market and stay by her side forever. In this scene, she’s coming to him to ask him to LEAVE the KG, knowing Tywin would approve, and when he’s questioning the idea she tries to have sex with him, BUT he refuses her so her plan doesn’t work, making this moment the solid beginning of their downfall lmao. The opposite of Eel Alley. 

“It makes no matter who they wed me to, I want you at my side, I want you in my bed, I want you inside me. Nothing has changed between us.” 

Increasing the level of manipulation through intimacy since her previous persuasive strategy wasn’t working.

“Let me prove it to you.” She pushed up his tunic and began to fumble with the laces of his breeches. Jaime felt himself responding. 

“No,” he said, “not here.” They had never done it in White Sword Tower, much less in the Lord Commander’s chambers. “Cersei, this is not the place.” 

“You took me in the sept. This is no different.”

She drew out his cock and bent her head over it. Jaime pushed her away with the stump of his right hand. “No. Not here, I said.” He forced himself to stand. For an instant he could see confusion in her bright green eyes, and fear as well. Then rage replaced it.

Angry reaction due to refusal of sex. Childish reaction from not getting what she wants which quickly turns into bullying.

Cersei gathered herself together, got to her feet, straightened her skirts. “Was it your hand they hacked off in Harrenhal, or your manhood?” As she shook her head, her hair tumbled around her bare white shoulders. “I was a fool to come. You lacked the courage to avenge Joffrey, why would I think that you’d protect Tommen? Tell me, if the Imp had killed all three of your children, would that have made you wroth?” 

Lol people thinking she was there to hang out with him. She admits to only being in there to ask something of him. “I was a fool to come.” Don’t miss out on the angry, nasty response because she was rejected and couldn’t use her favorite go-to manipulation tactic. 

“You great golden fool. He’s lied to you a thousand times, and so have I.” [...]

“You had best go, Cersei. You’re making me angry.” 

“Oh, an angry cripple. How terrifying.” She laughed. “A pity Lord Tywin Lannister never had a son. I could have been what he wanted, but I lacked the cock. And speaking of such, best tuck yours away, brother. It looks rather sad and small, hanging from your breeches like that.” 

She’s trying to establish superiority by attempting to break him down, using his disability against him and attacking his manhood. 

More?

“Gold? Or silver?” Cersei plucked a hair from beneath his chin and held it up. It was grey. “All the color is draining out of you, brother. You’ve become a ghost of what you were, a pale crippled thing. And so bloodless, always in white.” She flicked the hair away. “I prefer you garbed in crimson and gold.” - AFFC

I mean…I think that’s enough. 

 lol jk 

“Tell him what has happened, and write … write …” 

“Yes, Your Grace?” She licked her lips, shivering. “Come at once. Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.” 

“As you command. ‘I love you’ thrice?” 

“Thrice.” She had to reach him. “He will come. I know he will. He must. Jaime is my only hope.” 

“My queen,” said Qyburn, “have you … forgotten? Ser Jaime has no sword hand. If he should champion you and lose …” 

We will leave this world together, as we once came into it. “He will not lose. Not Jaime. Not with my life at stake.” - AFFC

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

SHE

FUCKING

THOUGHT

ABOUT 

HOW TO WORD IT

TO GET HIM TO COME BACK

SHE CONSCIOUSLY, FORMULATED A PLAN TO WRITE “I LOVE YOU” 

SPECIFICALLY THREE TIMES 

TO “REACH HIM.” 

SHE. LITERALLY. ADMITS. TO MANIPULATING HIM. THROUGH EMOTIONS. 

“Come at once,” she said. “Help me. Save me. I need you now as I have never needed you before. I love you. I love you. I love you. Come at once.”

 Vyman was hovering by the door, waiting, and Jaime sensed that Peck was watching too. “Does my lord wish to answer?” the maester asked, after a long silence. A snowflake landed on the letter. As it melted, the ink began to blur. Jaime rolled the parchment up again, as tight as one hand would allow, and handed it to Peck.

 “No,” he said. “Put this in the fire.”-AFFC

And Jaime had so much character growth by that point that IT DIDN’T FUCKING WORK LMAO. Her game isn’t working anymore. And not only is she trying to manipulate him through loving words, she’s also NOT GIVING A FUCK ABOUT HIS LIFE OUTSIDE OF HERSELF, because she’s acknowledging that if she’s going down then she’s taking him with her. T

he loving thing to do would be, “Jaime, I won’t allow you to be my champion. You’re missing your good hand and can’t win. I don’t want to be the one to cause your death.” But Cersei never gave a shit about his life outside of her so... not a shocker. (Also I just lmao that around the same time Cersei is trying to get Jaime to come back for his death sentence, Brienne is out there willing to literally hang by a noose to save him. Great contrast.)

On to Jaime… 

I did a bit of research to see why the fuck people think Jaime is abusive towards Cersei. Almost all of the examples involve their type of sex play, his thoughts (WHAT LMAO), and… not understanding the difference between toxicity and abuse. Abuse is always toxic, but toxicity isn’t always abusive. 

I’ve been in both an abusive and toxic relationship and the difference was that my partner in the toxic one wasn’t trying to establish constant control through various different methods. He wasn’t using me for his own gain or trying to make me feel like garbage about myself. He didn’t become physical when I went against him. In my non-abuse toxic one, we were like each other’s “drug.” Extreme highs and lows, propping each other up on a pedestal, losing ourselves within the relationship by wrapping our happiness around the other. The twins are definitely toxic, mutually, but some of Jaime’s unhealthy behaviors are confused with abuse and, ironically, his more questionable actions stem from Cersei’s abuse on him. 

Quoting this again since it’s like a million pages up:

Why do people abuse?

Domestic violence and abuse stem from a desire to gain and maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abusive people believe they have the right to control and restrict their partners, and they may enjoy the feeling that exerting power gives them. They often believe that their own feelings and needs should be the priority in their relationships, so they use abusive tactics to dismantle equality and make their partners feel less valuable and deserving of respect in the relationship. [x]

There is a difference between UNHEALTHY/TOXIC and ABUSIVE. 

Don’t come at me about the patriarchy being the reason why Cersei can’t be abusive towards Jaime (yes… I’ve actually seen that hot take). Within their own personal dynamic, Cersei has power over Jaime just by the nature of him being in the KG. She literally uses her position to tell him where to go and what to do, and even oversteps her boundaries sometimes by giving orders for him. 

As stated above, she manipulated him into joining the KG with implied promises of being together always. She then had affairs behind his back, used intimacy to persuade him, and cruelly put him down when he didn’t want to do the things she asked of him. That’s Cersei trying to maintain control of their dynamic. This is a “pattern of behavior” that dates back to at least Eel Alley. 

Unhealthy/Toxic

There isn’t a clear line when a relationship becomes unhealthy or abusive. This means it might be hard to figure out what kind of relationship you’re in. Remember that abuse is all about power and control. An unhealthy relationship might involve a power imbalance, being mean, ignoring boundaries [x]

Unhealthy behaviors can appear to be abusive behaviors, and certain toxic acts can turn into abusive over time, but they’re not the same thing.

For Jaime’s side of the “abuse,” he falls more often into the “unhealthy” category. I’m going to respond to a meta I came across recently.

“Jaime has channelled all his sexual desire into Cersei for most of his life (even thinking “I’ve been too long away from Cersei” when he experiences some arousal upon seeing Brienne naked), and that is not something one partner should put upon another. He judges the attractiveness of other women in reference to Cersei: Brienne, once, and Hildy the sex worker in ADWD. Cersei is a person, not a standard of idealised beauty.”

People twist the entire context to make him appear to be somehow abusive in a situation that actually…. sounds like a victim. Cersei wants that level of devotion from Jaime (and so do some of her stans), which is literally exactly why they don’t think Jaime and Brienne are a love story and why Cersei is like LMAO HER? Jaime would never leave me for that creature! SHE’S UGLY. 

She lived her whole life knowing that Jaime only had eyes for her, and the irony of “not a standard of idealised beauty” is that Cersei wants to be the standard of idealised beauty. He’s not “putting” anything on her. He’s reflecting what she wants and what has been reinforced since childhood. 

Besides that, I don’t see why it’s so wrong for Jaime to think Cersei is the most beautiful woman on the planet lol. And way to miss the entire fucking point, because the point is that YEAH, their entire relationship is superficial. Superficiality is unhealthy to an extent, but it’s not “abusive.” Jaime has only been with one woman his entire life and now he’s finally starting to encounter women away from his sister, so of course he’s going to compare. It’s like if you never left your town but one day decided to venture out into the world outside of it. You’re going to compare the buildings, the culture, etc because your mind is going to be expanding. 

“ Until late in ASoS, he does not value his Kingsguard vows except as they allow him to be close to her. (Again, mutually abusive relationship; Cersei’s actions were vital in getting him into this position where he has nothing but her.)”

HOW IS THIS ABUSIVE ON JAIME’S END? And I already discussed how she manipulated him into that situation with Casterly Rock being something of value to him. 

“Cersei has no meaningful relationships with anyone or anything outside of Jaime and her children. This is bad for both of them. So much of their emotional energy goes into each other, fostering the sense that they are not independent, whole people, and reinforcing the sense that the relationship is the only thing of value in their lives.”

Yeah! It is! And since Jaime is in the KG because Cersei convinced him to join, and she literally murdered her friend because the girl expressed wanting to marry Jaime, I WONDER WHY JAIME HAS NO FUCKING LIFE OUTSIDE OF CERSEI? As for Cersei, she CHOOSES to limit herself to Lannisters. Jaime isn’t forcing her to not have friends what the actual fuck. Cersei murders her friends lmfao. 

This is unhealthy, not abusive, on Jaime’s end. HE isn’t the one “fostering the sense that they are not independent, whole people.” As explained above, CERSEI is the one repeating this over and over, using it to convince him, to control, to attempt to rob him of his identity when he tries to stray. So on Cersei’s end, yeah, that’s abuse.

“For all his idealisation of her and their relationship, Jaime’s trust in Cersei is also a very brittle thing. When Tyrion tells Jaime “she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know,” while still believing Cersei’s declaration that Tyrion has “lied to you a thousand times, and so have I” was “a clumsy attempt to hurt him,” he doesn’t do what someone in a healthy relationship would do, and ask her. Whatever trust he has in her vanishes in two sentences, one about Cersei’s honesty, one about her fidelity.”

And… his… lack of trust was justified anyway? LMAO. He even thinks at some point that Tyrion IS lying. And when he’s away from Cersei in ASOS, he doesn’t imagine her fucking other people while he’s gone, because he trusted her. He genuinely believes that she’s faithful to him (which is precisely why he felt so betrayed). But he also trusts Tyrion, so he went back and forth, wondering wtf was the truth.

AND HOW THE FUCK IS LACK OF TRUST ABUSIVE? This is another case of IT’S UNHEALTHY to have little to no trust in your relationship. Not abusive ffs (!!!)

“Jaime is abusive because he coerces her into sex”

BTW, a person who laughed at me and said this also is a huge twincest shipper which… why… do you… romanticize it and claim their love to be True.. If… you think… he does that?!

Pretty much everyone brings up “sexual coercion.” And you know what? Fair. 

But... Jaime and Cersei are drawn to a messy push-pull sex play. She says no and then “weakley” pushes him away. 

There were soft, wet sounds. Bran realized they were kissing. He watched, wide-eyed and frightened, his breath tight in his throat. The man had a hand down between her legs, and he must have been hurting her there, because the woman started to moan, low in her throat. “Stop it,” she said, “stop it, stop it. Oh, please …” But her voice was low and weak, and she did not push him away. Her hands buried themselves in his hair, his tangled golden hair, and pulled his face down to her breast. -AGOT

This is GRRM trying to clarify that this is their messy sex dynamic. I mean, he has a fucking little kid observe this all “oh hey but she isn’t pushing him away guys! It’s all good, guys! That’s just them!” Like he’s taking down notes. The 4th wall being broken here is almost jarring. 

This sounds a lot like the scene at WF. 

“No,” she said weakly when his lips moved down her neck, “not here. The septons …” 

“The Others can take the septons.” He kissed her again, kissed her silent, kissed her until she moaned. Then he knocked the candles aside and lifted her up onto the Mother’s altar, pushing up her skirts and the silken shift beneath. She pounded on his chest with feeble fists, murmuring about the risk, the danger, about their father, about the septons, about the wrath of gods. He never heard her. He undid his breeches and climbed up and pushed her bare white legs apart. One hand slid up her thigh and underneath her smallclothes. When he tore them away, he saw that her moon’s blood was on her, but it made no difference. “Hurry,” she was whispering now, “quickly, quickly, now, do it now, do me now. Jaime Jaime Jaime.” Her hands helped guide him. “Yes,” Cersei said as he thrust, “my brother, sweet brother, yes, like that, yes, I have you, you’re home now, you’re home now, you’re home.” She kissed his ear and stroked his short bristly hair. Jaime lost himself in her flesh. He could feel Cersei’s heart beating in time with his own, and the wetness of blood and seed where they were joined. - ASOS

In both scenes she’s weakly protesting which implies it’s a form of their sex play, and she’s being turned on by him “taking” her. This depiction of sex was actually really trendy in the media not too long ago, so honestly the sex scenes for this “edgey couple” just exposes his age. That push-pull, yes/no, “he can’t resist me” wasn’t nearly as controversial as it is now. He was literally writing what used to be seen as hot. It obviously did not age well. 

And GRRM never meant for Jaime to be interpreted as a rapist.  

"If the show had retained some of Cersei's dialogue from the books, it might have left a somewhat different impression – but that dialogue was very much shaped by the circumstances of the books, delivered by a woman who is seeing her lover again for the first time after a long while apart during which she feared he was dead. I am not sure it would have worked with the new timeline. That's really all I can say on this issue. The scene was always intended to be disturbing … but I do regret if it has disturbed people for the wrong reasons." [x]

“Jaime thinks of her as a whore”

WHY IS THERE A THOUGHT POLICE? How is it abuse that he thinks a word with zero abusive action attached to it?? And like fuck LMAO Cersei is the one that goes off with the word “whore” quite often, in a misogynistic way. 

What’s even stupider is when Jaime thinks of her as a “whore,” he’s just reciting what Tyrion told him, word for word. The words came from Tyrion, so Tyrion’s words are playing out in his mind.

“Cersei is a lying whore, she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and probably Moon Boy for all I know. And I am the monster they all say I am. Yes, I killed your vile son.” - AFFC

Oh, how Tyrion was sniggering.… a lying whore … fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack … - AFFC

And he even removes the whore bit. 

“If so, we might have coaxed the truth from them.” … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC

Ser Osmund Kettleblack paced beside them in his white enamel plate and white wool cloak. “… she been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know …” - AFFC

Jaime could feel his phantom fingers itching at the sight of him.… fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC

Strong and vigorous and handsome, Jaime thought.… she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC

He wanted to kiss her, carry her to her bedchamber, throw her on the bed … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy … - AFFC

That only made her laugh. “We all have secrets, brother,” she replied. … she’s been fucking Lancel and Osmund Kettleblack and Moon Boy for all I know … - AFFC

Now there’s this time where he says, 

Jaime gave a shrug. “My apologies if I mistook you for something you’re not. My little brother has known a hundred whores, I’m sure, but I’ve only ever bedded one.” -ADWD

OMG EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING NOW IT’S TIME TO OFFICIALLY STAMP HIM AS A MISOGYNIST AND THIS AS MUTUAL ABUSE towards someone who isn’t even fucking there and for bitterly thinking of his cheating partner as a whore in a world that throws that word around like it’s candy at a parade. 

Since “whore” in Westeros is more loosely thrown around than it is in our world, the incredibly hurt and angry Jaime thinking she’s a whore for sleeping with multiple people behind his back is not that fucking wild. Do I think that's sexist? Yeah. Do I think it’s healthy? No. Do I think it’s a realistic response that a very hurt person would think, especially in a world where it’s a common term? Absolutely. 

“He dreams about hurting her though so lol he’s clearly violent against her”

(yes I’ve unfortunately seen this a lot)

Hey all... I have a confession to make... 

I dreamed about pushing a certain politician in front of a bus and bashing D&D’s teeth in. I also had a dream where I kicked my sister because she ate my last piece of cheesecake. I’m so sorry. Please lock me up and throw away the key until it’s time for me to be executed. 

Last night he dreamed he’d found her fucking Moon Boy. He’d killed the fool and smashed his sister’s teeth to splinters with his golden hand, just as Gregor Clegane had done to poor Pia. -AFFC

… he DREAMED it. 

PEOPLE ARE FUCKING USING THIS AS EVIDENCE FOR MUTUAL ABUSE BECAUSE HE DREAMED IT.  

You know partly why? Because they THINK he’s going to murder her or harm her, so they’re prematurely calling him abusive and removing literally all the context because... IT HASN’T HAPPENED. They’re essentially accusing a man of doing something before he even does it without even knowing FOR SURE if he’s even going to do it, USING THIS DREAM TO ACCUSE HIM LOL. 

god THIS FUCKING FANDOM I- 

DREAMS. ARE NOT. ABUSE

I’mcryingwhydoIhavetosaythat

Not only is it in a dream, but like, idk, why do you think he’s having those violent dreams? Did she do something to really hurt him so his pain is manifesting in his subconscious as violence? IDK just a wild guess! Maybe he specifically thought about smashing her teeth in, because just previously they were speaking about how Ser Gregor did the same thing to Pia. You know... kinda like me dreaming about angrily pushing my cheating ex down the stairs after I watched a murder mystery documentary where someone was pushed down a flight of stairs. (Oh but my ex was a man, so it��s just viewed as a dream). 

… the cringe of the thought police... 

Yeah. I’m done. I didn’t even dig up all of Cersei’s instances of abuse and this thing is like fucking 20 pages long. So even IF you view Jaime’s thoughts (!!!!) as abusive and IF you believe he was full on coercing or raping her, they still aren’t nearly MUTUALLY abusive, as in 50/50 abuse, and I’m just going to circle back around to what I said in the beginning about the main victims reacting in problematic ways. 

Anyway. I always start these as calm and cool and then end with all caps and a glass of wine to chill me out. All I have left to say about whatever that “mutually abusive” meta was is

[littlelovelymemes]

*   𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆  𝐅𝐎𝐑  𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐀  ( 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 )  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 .

POST  CONTAINS  SPOILERS  FOR  EPISODES  1-2 .

‘  i  am  fascinated  by  last  words .  ’

‘  i’ve  been  keeping  my  popularity  a  secret  all  these  years .  ’

‘  what  the  fuck ?  she  should  not  have  to  leverage  her  body  so  you’ll  be  a  good  boyfriend .  ’

‘  that  kind  of  sexist  bullshit  is  the  reason  why  we  have  to  dismantle  the  patriarchy .  ’

‘  my  adolescence  would  have  no  doubt  been  greatly  enhanced  by  the  anesthetizing  effects  of  coosa  liquors’  strawberry  hill  rosé .  ’

‘  sweat  builds  character ,  boy .  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  be  okay .  promise .  ’

‘  after  the  unpacking  comes  the  adventure ,  right ?  ’

‘  i  would  shake  your  hand ,  but  i  think  it’s  best  if  you  just  hang  on  to  that  towel .  ’

‘  you’ve  got  ten  seconds  to  surprise  me  before  i  write  you  off  as  ordinary .  ’

‘  that’s  morbid .  i  like  it .  ’

‘  what  are  you ,  four  feet  now ?  ’

‘  i  literally  just  did  say  that  to  your  face ,  you  human  frat  paddle .  ’

‘  you’ll  have  to  excuse  them .  it’s  not  their  fault  they  had  everything  in  their  goddamn  life  handed  to  them .  ’

‘  you  know ,  you  might  be  the  only  person  who  could  spend  all  summer  in  the  sun  and  somehow  end  up  whiter .  ’

‘  is  it  possible  to  be  150%  caucasian ?  ’

‘  if  you  came  here  hoping  to  be  hot  shit ,  you  best  not  be  seen  with  me .  ’

‘  he’s  immune  to  fatigue .  his  anger  is  a  renewable  energy  source .  ’

‘  that  is  me .  that  is  me  to  a  fucking  tee .  ’

‘  and  i’m  in  the  middle  of  a  sentence  when  all  of  a  sudden ,  he  just  honks  my  boob .  just  like  that .  just like  a  much - too- firm  two ,  three  second  honk .  ’

‘  okay ,  how  do  i  extricate  this  claw  from  my  boob  before  it  leaves  permanent  marks ?  ’

‘  who’s  this  guy  not  laughing  at  my story ?  ’

‘  that  swan  is  the  spawn  of  satan .  ’

‘  if  you  learn  anything  from  me  today ,  let  it  be  this  :  never ,  never ,  never  rat .  ’

‘  damn  it ,  how  will  i  ever  get  out  of  this  labyrinth ?  ’

‘  hard  to  imagine  you’d  ever  be  boring .  ’

‘  you’re  smart ...  cute ,  too .  ’

‘  but  i  didn’t  just  say  that ,  because  i  love  my  boyfriend .  ’

‘  you’re  much  smarter  than  both  of  us ,  and  much  more  attractive .  ’

‘  but  i  didn’t  just  say  that ,  because  i  love  my  girlfriend ...  who  doesn’t  exist .  because  i  don’t  have  one .  ’

‘  you’re  not  going  to  impose  the  patriarchal  paradigm  on  me .  ’

‘  i  bought  you  that  tie ,  you  asshole .  it  was  a  birthday  present .  ’

‘  wow ,  that  chip  on  your  shoulder  makes  you  look  even  shorter .  ’

‘  i’m  a  bad  boyfriend .  you’re  a  bad  girlfriend .  we  deserve  each  other .  ’

‘  do  you  wanna  smell  it ?  cause  if  there’s  one  thing  i  know ,  it’s  the  smell  of  warm  piss  in  my  new  shoes !  ’

‘  gotta  get  a  lock  on  the  door .  everyone  but  you  can  have  a  key .  ’

‘  i  have  a  key  to  your  heart .  that’s  all  that  matters .  ’

‘  that  was  so  loud ,  it  hurt  my  feelings .  ’

‘  you’re  crazier  than  i  thought .  ’

‘  that  was  a  terrible  way  to  wake  up .  how  can  i  ensure  that  never  happens  again ?  ’

‘  oh  my  god ,  you  are  both  so  stupid  and  so  is  this  war .  enough ,  okay ?  ’

‘  why  would  you  try  to  drown  this  man ?  he’s  a  goddamn  genius !  ’

‘  that’s  a  pretentious  way  of  saying  you  want  to  get  laid .  ’

‘  life’s  about  disappointing  those  in  charge  of  us .  i  learned  that  a  long  time  ago .  ’

‘  he’ll  eat  you  alive  and  piss  you  out  slowly ,  through  a  catheter .  ’

‘  i’m  with  you  until  the  end .  ’

‘  seriously ?  we  have  one  nice  moment  and  you’re  using  it  to  try  to  get  some  action ?  ’

‘  you  only  view  the  world  through  your  limited  male  gaze .  there’s  so  much  you’re  missing .  ’

‘  if  you  have  anything  black ,  wear  it  tonight .  it’s  sliming ...  and  stealthy .  ’

‘  i  wish  they  would  just  choke  on  their  stupid  protein  shakes .  ’

‘  i’m  just  trying  to  keep  you  from  getting  hurt .  ’

‘  i’m  like  a  motherfucking  cat .  ’

‘  i  don’t  think  i’ll  be  able  to  get  their  screams  out  of  my  ears .  ’

‘  but  never  have  i  been  so  glad  to  have  my  orders  ignored .  that  was  some  funny  shit .  ’

‘  you  know  what  they  say ...  never  trust  a  man  with  a  need  to  draw  attention  to  his  keys .  ’

‘  we  can  never  give  up  hope  in  the  eternal  struggle  of  the  good  versus  the  naughty .  ’

‘  you  may  lose  a  battle ,  but  mischief  always  wins  the  war .  ’

‘  the  only  weight  i’m  gonna  lose  is  you ...  cause  you’re  deadweight ...  and  you’re  dead .  ’

‘  y’all  smoke  to  enjoy  it .  i  smoke  to  die .  ’

[witch-priestess]

TO BE A WICCAN YOU MUST FIGHT AGAINST RACIAL INJUSTICE

Earlier I posted a tweet from Witch Cake that said: “If you call yourself a Witch you are taking on the mantle of hundreds of years of oppression and ostracism. It is your duty to stand beside those who suffer injustice. If you do not, your “spirituality” is aesthetic only.” 

This statement is true. Being a Witch is Political. It Always has been. Our spirituality has been to throw off oppression in the form of monotheism, patriarchy, and racism. 

In Wicca, we have the wrede. Most people look at the last two lines “An it Harm None, do as thou wilt”. You can find the long versions “The Witches Creed” by Doreen Valiente, and “The Rede of the Wiccae” by Lady Gwyn Thompson, both of these have lines that can speak to our duty to social justice as much as it speaks to our duty in magick and the Circle. 

In the latter, the line “Speak Ye Little, but listen much, be soft of eye and light of touch” has been coming back to me over and over again as the demand for Justice for the Black Lives lost to police brutality and armed civilians has become ever louder since the 2020 Deaths of George Floyd, Breanna Taylor, and Ahmud Arbrey. I see white people demanding peaceful protesting, demanding the end to rioting, holding property damage above the lives of innocent people. They are demanding civility in the face of incivility. And on the surface this demand for civility is something that can be seen in the end lines, and in the quoted above. 

However, that goes against everything we as witches, pagans, and wiccans stand for. The line “Speak ye little, listen much, be soft of eye and light of touch” should be applied to how we follow Black Leadership in these protests. In our desire to stand with our brothers and sisters in the face of oppression and tyranny, we must let them speak and lead, often white people trample over the voices that we are trying to hear. Our speaking should be done to amplify their voices, not change the message. This is not limited to just talking, but how we post on social media, our actions at protests, and our conversations with those that are close to us. Recording yourself or taking selfies at the protest is not amplifying black voices. Put your phone down, listen. Witness the speeches. Be silent as you hear the pain, stand in your discomfort. Stand in solidarity. Use your words carefully to uphold Black folx. Use them to call out white folx in their racism. When we shut up and listen, we can then be open to change and compassion. “Soft of eye” is about how we interpret things. People are quick to judge violence and anger. Black people have a Righteous Anger. Stop judging and get to the work of compassion and change. We need to absorb what we witness, and let go of all judgement. Let what you see and hear rock you to your very soul. Eyes are said to be the “windows of the soul”, let the suffering you see soften you, and change you. It is uncomfortable at times but this change is what allows us to confront our own racism rooted within us, and allows us to do the necessary and important work of dismantling injustice from within and without. Being “soft of touch” goes with “speaking little”. White people are not the leaders in this movement, therefore we must follow the lead of those we want to help, and our work is something that is imperative. We do not demand thanks, we do not demand leadership. To do so is to stick our hands where they don’t belong. Holding space through physically surrounding people so they can speak their pain, offering physical comfort to your Black friends, attending the protest and Following the directions of the Leaders, joining and volunteering with BLM and community groups dedicated to justice, patronizing black business, and donating to Bail Funds are all ways of softly touching. Ways to help and donate are in links below. 

The next thing to address are the last two lines of the Rede. “An it harm none, do what thou will.” Harm is an act of malice applied to another person or yourself. Wiccans are demanded that we do not act with enmity. Some people only apply this to our relationships with others, and they really only think in terms of curses or hexes. It is a way of life. It is an order to act with responsibility and compassion. It is how we treat ourselves, other people, our environment, and animals, and how we interact with our Political Sphere. When we vow to uphold the rede we are not only vowing not to cause harm, but also to uproot it anywhere we find it. Harming None, requires us to see injustice and work against it. Because injustice anywhere harms people everywhere. In the case of the blatant systemic racism killing Black people, to be silent, to not witness, to do nothing is an act of insidious malice and harm. Racism hurts everyone who comes into contact with it. You cannot be a racist and call yourself a Wiccan, it is anathema to what it means to be a Wiccan, and it breaks your vow. 

“Do what thou will.” If you have the will to make the changes necessary, and you want to see change, you need to do it. Having intention and desire will not have any effect unless you actively DO the work. When it comes to racism it is not enough to be not-racist, it is not enough to say that you would like the world to be better, you must act to make it so. Our spirituality calls us to action. Our actions require us to constantly demand better from ourselves and from the rest of society. Be that through protest, your vote, volunteering or other actions. The only way things will change is if we actively do the work to make the changes necessary.

In conclusion: BLACK LIVES MATTER. Listen to Black Leadership, and get to work. Not only is it the right thing to do, it is demanded by our vows and a part of our sacred duty. You can’t be a witch and a racist. 

Here are links that can help you get started on doing the work:

https://www.communityjusticeexchange.org/nbfn-directory

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/george-floyd-protests-bail-funds-police-brutality-black-lives-matter-1008259/

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/beyond-the-hashtag-how-to-take-anti-racist-action

https://www.welcometostratagem.com/post/10-habits-of-someone-who-doesn-t-know-they-re-anti-black?fbclid=IwAR22FDTHsOQzqMbOkn20ouAQJEN8wGz0wcANC218l7tvIE-8sqaYHt4q4wQ

https://content.redvoice.news/black_radical_ecology_and_the_anthropogenic_question/?fbclid=IwAR0ShOItV-Cphm1xR0bIlvWe9PAw4k_P3i9xqS9Djb9AU4oUWQv4TQjoHrI

https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/a-sociologist-examines-the-white-fragility-that-prevents-white-americans-from-confronting-racism?fbclid=IwAR13QxT07nh5fQdec-xEmg4jnNyaVS5eTIoQG9LyJodTEcgI8VQM0OKMiTs

https://bookriot.com/2020/05/22/books-about-racism/

https://www.bustle.com/p/19-movies-about-race-every-white-person-needs-to-watch-from-fruitvale-station-to-do-the-right-thing-8605651

https://peopleslawoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/Hampton.Cointelpro-Booklet.pdf?fbclid=IwAR0DYOnNi3t-CLAPu-6XI168xX57SjPYRc1phHampvNebQ2Sd399XAPncC0

https://www.archives.gov/research/african-americans/individuals/fred-hampton?fbclid=IwAR0HJuIfvfloC3Hq2012BXbL7VQ_vVmw3kDTDnk82pse4mWYC9TkN8Zq9iw

https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/was-fred-hampton-executed/tnamp/?__twitter_impression=true&fbclid=IwAR1oiD-cRlF3bmCzg7twDI4QA6cEhgYVwA9t0UfmHl3vexWESV9QkG6vDFw

https://www.democracynow.org/2009/12/4/the_assassination_of_fred_hampton_how?fbclid=IwAR0GXNjtDHuYsDLkawK19684NcexayJhdI8P2W4tsJjXPAc-a6KV4ijNBAk

[poetictrekkie]

TNG Crew Highschool!AU

Anonymous said: Hey! I was wondering for the 500 followers list prompt, you could do Headcannons for a TNG high school au? I was thinking of it as if they were students. Thanks so much if you decide do this!

Jean-Luc Picard

He’s one of those rare types who defies stereotype. 

No one can place him in any particular group, no set table in the cafeteria.

Of course, he prefers to spend lunch in the library. For some reason, the librarian never reprimands him if he eats there.

He’s fairly popular, and certainly no outcast. Whenever he enters a room, he exudes this undeniably authoritative aura.

Always taking the lead in group projects. Always.

Enjoys athletics, especially long-distance running. He’s trained for marathons in the past, and participates in cross-country events.

Subtly nerdy. He raises his hand all the time in English class.

Whenever students are assigned memorization work of a poem or a monologue, they can’t wait to hear Jean-Luc recite it.

His recitation of Hamlet’s To Be or Not to Be soliloquy went down in the history of the school as receiving a standing ovation and actual tears streaming down the teacher’s face.

He’s been the lead in the school play since his sophomore year. He was the first sophomore to get the lead.

Very private, especially in regards to his personal life. No one ever knows what’s going on in his head – or who he’s dating.

Will Riker

That guy. Every coming-of-age movie has one of them.

The more than slightly annoying, jock, “cool” guy that everyone wants to be around.

Secretly not a complete dunce. If he put in some effort, he could be doing great things.

Comes from money. The Rikers have been pumping money into the school for generations. Probably the only way that Will hasn’t gotten expelled.

There are probably several plaques in the school with ‘Donated by the Riker Family’ on them.

Has his own car the moment he turns sixteen, making him even more of an object of envy for the next few months.

Like his infamous escapades, his string of girlfriends is legendary. There’s a new girl on Will Riker’s arm every month.

But lately, since he started dating Deanna Troi, he’s toned down his reckless behaviour.

He’s also begun to realize that underneath his act, there’s a surprising amount of vulnerability that he’s refused to acknowledge.

Data Soong

Very likely the smartest person in the school.

He can memorize dates for history and formulas for math without a single error.

He is the captain of the school robotics team, and they’ve had a winning streak in the district and state tournaments since he joined.

He is also responsible for the construction of “Broomby,” a highly modified Roomba that can go 20 km/hr and is very good at wreaking absolute havoc when a distraction is necessary.

He is also on the autism spectrum (he has Asperger’s), and he finds it difficult to interact with people and feels uncomfortable in social situations.

This sometimes makes him a target for bullying, but Data has learned to ignore the people who tease him.

Even the teachers sometimes grow annoyed when Data tries to answer every question in class.

His adoptive father, Dr. Noonien Soong, is very protective of his son. But although he often wants to intercede on his behalf when he hears about the bullying, Data always stops him.

He hasn’t told him, but Data just wants to make his father proud, and prove that he can stand up for himself.

Geordi LaForge

The kind of person everyone wants to be friends with.

Rarely has a bad word to say about anyone. Very kind, funny, and helpful.

Geordi excels in the classes which require some hands-on work.

A star in woodshop. He has a knack for carving.

But he’s also very good at automotive work and technology-related tasks.

Always helps people with their homework. Might not know the answer every time, but he’ll sit and work it through.

He’s working at all the open houses for the school, talking to prospective students and touring them around the facilities.

When Data comes to the school, they immediately become fast friends.

Geordi understands how difficult it is to be different from other people. He’s visually impaired, but he doesn’t let that stop him from doing the things he loves.

The two of them spend late nights working on robotics projects, and Data even designed a pair of visual aids for his friend.

They didn’t work as well as the ones he already had, but Geordi kept them anyways.

He’s absolutely hopeless when he works up the courage to ask his crush out.

Hopeless.

But Data doesn’t really get that sort of thing either, so it all works out.

Beverly Crusher (Howard)

The model student and president of the Student Council.

Like Will, she also comes from a family of significant repute, but she doesn’t try to use her status for bonus points.

For her entire first year of high school, she denied any relation to the Howard family, just to prove she could make it on merit alone.

Everyone knows that Beverly is definitely going to get into a very good medical program in an Ivy League university.

She has top marks in Biology and Chemistry in her grade (Data is a year younger than her), and is an Honours student.

Beverly is friendly and effusive, but still introverted. She prefers to stick to her small group of friends.

She also has very high standards about the people she dates. Not many people can say they’ve gone out with Beverly Howard.

That’s why everyone was so shocked when she started dating Jack Crusher. A nice guy by all means, but no one particularly remarkable.

The two of them loved each other with a passion that could have went far beyond “high school sweethearts.”

But just before graduation, “could have” became all it ever could have been.

He was in the car.

Distracted. Listening to music. Talking.

Not seeing the truck that ran that red light.

Then Beverly didn’t know who to think to blame, not even Jean-Luc. Who was in the car too. Who survived.

Deanna Troi

The most popular girl in the school.

On first appearances, she comes off sometimes as a bit of an airhead.

Some people say she’s concerned more with her clothes than school itself.

But they couldn’t be more wrong.

Deanna is constantly motivated, trying hard in all her courses.

She knows she’s no Beverly Crusher, and certainly not Data, but she’s determined to succeed.

She’s an empath in every sense. She’s a great conversationalist, and has high emotional intelligence.

Whoever talks to Deanna always feels better and happier by the end of the conversation.

She gets top marks in the psychology class, and she’s considering becoming a psychiatrist or a counsellor.

She likes to make people feel good, and talk them through their problems.

Some people honestly prefer talk to Deanna than the actual school counsellor.

When Will Riker asks her out, she almost says no. In fact, she only says yes on the condition that she won’t become one of his cast-offs.

And surprisingly enough, Will Riker stays true to his word.

Because to him, Deanna is worth all the things in the world.

Worf

The slightly frightening exchange student.

He came from Belarus with his adoptive brother, Nikolai.

Compared to his rather rebellious and genial sibling, Worf is very stoic and prefers to keep to himself.

Some people joke that the brothers might as well have come from different planets.

Not many people have seen past his stony exterior. There are a few exceptions, though.

Deanna Troi, who he dated briefly in his junior year. But it ended up not working out, and they parted as good friends.

Jean-Luc Picard, who he respects as an intelligent person and capable leader. 

He is brilliant at sports, if rather aggressive.

He’s the captain of the school wrestling team, probably one of the best they’d had.

The bulk of sports-related injuries at the school had some relation to were caused by Worf.

He spends quite a bit of time in the gym, where he discovered he had an aptitude for basketball.

Tasha Yar introduced the game to him, and she remains his usual partner for shooting hoops.

He always stands up for the underdog, because he knows what it’s like to be one.

So, if he sees any of the younger kids being bullied, there’ll be hell to pay.

Tasha Yar

Ever since her first day of freshman year, Tasha Yar had acquired a sort of rebel mystique.

In the first lesson, she corrected the History teacher on a particular fact about the Cold War.

Not very politely, mind you.

By the end of the first month of school, she had been sent to the principal’s office twice.

Tasha’s very much a lone wolf. Wasn’t there to make friends, no matter how many people thought her defiance was “cool.”

“Tragic backstory unlocked at level 4.” No one’s got there. 

Protest is her art form.

She’s consistently skipped Fridays to strike for climate change.

She came early to school (for once) in order to put up signs protesting the heartbeat laws in Alabama and Georgia.

Tasha is a killer debater, and Debate is the only club she participates in.

If you try and argue anything with her, you’ve just dug your own grave.

Loves heavy metal, but also classical music. She doesn’t talk about the latter one as much, though.

When she’s not protesting the dress code, her favourite t-shirt reads: “Dismantling the patriarchy, brick by brick.”

And no one dares make fun of her, because they know they’ll pay for it one day.

[supporthosechi]

Sex Worker, Capacious Heart, Revolutionary Gestation

What it gets you:

Knowing the enemy and which is the weaker sex.  “I have been around men for too long” to be taken advantage of ever again.  She can be afraid and she can be wrong, she can be beaten and, apparently, caged, but only for so long.  There is no further margin of error, and the learning curve which takes some of us decades, an entire adulthood, or longer than a lifetime, seems to have been eclipsed.  She knows which COs beat their wives, sleep around, are powerless in their state-sanctioned power (nearly all), are powerful in their understanding the tenuousness of their position in this microcosm of social control (perhaps one or two; they’ll resist the least when their backs are literally up against the wall).  She knows what they do behind the barbed wire, bulletproof plexiglass, office doors, and cell walls.  The white officers are simply reproducing constructions of whiteness well-remembered from the outside world, playing a part which is now one with their identity, worldview, and even faith.  The Black and Brown officers are no longer confusing to her, either.  They are “dogs,” “rottweilers,” and she speaks to them in the language she knows they understand: “grrrr...arf arf arf!”  Hers is a look reserved for a special kind of dismissal—ain’t got time for any of that, where time is the main currency and there is at once an endless supply (inside) and an unfair and diminishing ration for all that ought to and must and will happen (outside).  The keepers are the animals here, they’re the underclass.  It gets you knowing who exactly is the enemy, clear as day and without exception, only degree of danger.

Long arms and longer lashes.  The tighter the confines, the harder fought the power; the more stifling the controls, the brighter burning the heroine.  Boredom and confinement might make you forget, for an instant or far longer, that you are a person and a (wholly undernourished) soul: bring your tired dramatics and petty relationship games to this woman at your own peril.  Clout is making sure you’re last in the food line, you don’t get your linens cleaned, no one speaks to you for days on end, commissary is suddenly out of necessities, or, should you press the issue, something more...corporal.  For the keepers, the stick being out of the question as the State still has the upper hand (at least regarding the body) in here, the carrot becomes the only recourse.  If the women officers have any pretense of heart or shred of empathic dignity left in their traitorous beings, then perhaps they appreciate friendship, being considered “on the level,” it makes their jobs less drudgerous and may make their sleep easier, allowing them to forget the despicable business in which they are engaged, that is, reproducing patriarchy and gender- and race-based enslavement at the behest of a master which would just as soon throw them beneath the same wheel, given a reason or opportunity.  The officers who share this happenstantial biological commonality with the inmates are subject to the false-but-never-saccharine wiles of women with relatively little to lose through momentarily suppressing their rightful hatred to exchange a pleasant word.  The men, as mentioned above, remain men.  A coquettish flip of the hair, a knowing batt of an eyelash, drawing upon the playbook which once extracted remuneration for services, all the same affects, gestures, tones, and caresses—literal as well figurative—operate in this universe.  You get a reminder of what you are capable of.

Grown up in the face of every incentive not to be.  If it seems incongruous to have it noted, as someone closer to forty than thirty, by a 24 year-old how much they feel they’ve grown, then just imagine being that 24 year-old and saying as much.  It’s difficult, to say the least.  It’s banal, and simply untrue, to assume that this place makes one “grow up fast,” or whatever other cliches might originate in the minds of creatives and content makers who have no firsthand (or even secondhand, as the case may be) experience.  People don’t grow up because they’re caged, threatened, starved, deprived, oppressed, discriminated against and criminalized; people can be every damn one of those things before they ever up inside, continue to be them during, and emerge again being equally so with the added albatross of a record which will hound their every move like a shadow.  Any growing up occurs due to the person themselves, and perhaps the company they keep and how they keep it.  The incentives not to grow are many: avoiding hurt when those you care for—inside and out—disappoint you, living up to what is expected of you by your keepers, trying to find some bliss in ignorance, making it easier to pick up where you have left off when you get back out, the last of which might make it seem like less time has passed and less has been stolen from you while inside.  So grow up at your own peril.  Forge relationships, cling to them and give them meaning, be hurt when disappointed, try to learn, and steel yourself for the next one while remaining open to its possibilities.  See through the whims and weaknesses of professional race and class traitors and bend them as much as you are able to keep yourself safe and in some relative modicum of comfort.  Be ready not to accept but to command the reality into which you will reemerge, not soon enough, but soon.

What it damn well doesn’t get you:

The culture you want, and that which you learn you need.  There is no one to show you what to read and how to read it, no matter how much time there is to do it.  There were no performances, no theater, movies, concerts, readings, galleries before entering, and there certainly are none here.  There is the vacuum of somehow better understanding how little you had and got to do before you entered, and how much more there must be outside of which you’re only dimly aware.  She played the cello, drew bow to strings and felt the resonance of the body against her hands and throughout her body.  She’ll act in Shakespeare, desperately absorbing the lines totally divorced from context or instruction, perhaps just the way they were designed to be learned those centuries ago.  She’ll defy every empty, self-contradictory platitude which holds that this is a place of rehabilitation rather than one of class control and publicly sanctioned extension of slavery.  All the culture she ought to absorb on the other side of this experience should reinforce that her life was worth living, and thus worth defending.

Automatically radical, all our prayers to the contrary.  The prayer is perhaps one for silver linings which cannot exist without tailors to sew them in.  Everyone who enters prison should become Mumia or Angela or Huey or Marissa or a Soledad Brother or Sister, dismantling the system brick-by-carceral-brick from within and then from without.  But that ain’t how it works, any more than Black and Brown and poor white folks don’t become cops or workers organize and seize the means of production.  Class consciousness takes on an entirely different register when your class is prisoner, and no longer discriminates, or at least in quite different valences, according to where you’ve come from and what you know.  The responsibility of political education in this case falls to two white people from working-to-middle class backgrounds, who struggle to keep the lights on but will not go hungry, and will likely only be in front of judges on behalf of others or standing between vulnerable co-conspirators and aggressors.  If my heart sinks when she confuses communism with totalitarianism, it soars when she instantly comprehends what seems to take so many so long: this place does not need to exist if workers take care of each other, fighting alienation and distance from one another.  You can understand there is a better way far before embarking on the journey of figuring out how to achieve it.

What it takes from you:

Every damn thing it can.  It’s nearly limitless, and almost unchecked, and very few (though some very motivated) have a care in the world about it.

What you keep from it:

Your heart, stupid as that sometimes sounds.  If you make your heart inviolable to it—this almost insatiable, disgusting beast of punishment—eventually it seems like it gives up, which should give anyone who has ever needed it, hope.  I wonder if she sees in my watery eyes the reflection of the heart she has protected from it.  I wonder if she knows the unconscionable strength that has been required of her, or if it has become routine and does not mandate the same force of effort.  It actually doesn’t matter either way, at least not for the purpose of this brief guide.  What I see is a heart which has protected itself, so I am forced to conclude that is what you keep from it: you let it control your movement, your sleep, your diet, your communication with the outside world, your relationship to the inside world, because you have to.  You keep your love and the sense—nay, the certainty—that you’ll overcome and supersede it the moment you pass through to the other side of the barbed wire and evil brick for the last time.  It’ll be high heels and the life you now understand, if there was any doubt previously, that you deserve.

-AH

(This is the 6th visitation reflection from AH, from a visit on 1/3/2018.)

[bazwillendinflames]

CAW - favourite theme

“This is ridiculous.” Quill looked up with mild interest at the two girls. They’d been whispering loudly to each other for most of lunch, crowded around April’s phone screen.

“Tell me about it.” Tanya replied, louder this time. “America actually sucks. Can’t the aliens go attack that orange moron instead of us?”

April let out a giggle and Quill stood up. The girls looked up. April looked guilty but Tanya was only looked amused, still focussed on the phone screen.

“What are you looking at?” Quill held out her hand for the phone. April handed it to her with a polite smile. Quill wondered if it hurt that much, being so optimistic. (It hurt to look at.)

It took Quill a minute to get over the borderline offensive shade of yellow April had chosen for her phone case, to focus on the news story they were reading. It was about a (rightly described as ‘orange’) American who despite having a long list of crimes and issues, was being made leader.

“Why are you reading about this moron?” Quill asked, not bothering to hide her distaste.

April let out another small laugh. “That’s how bad Trump is - even aliens hate him.”

“We’re protesting against him.” Tanya explained. “Cause he’s an asshole.”

“How are you protesting?” Quill asked. Perhaps humans weren’t as boring as she spend most of her times complaining about.

“What do you mean?”

Quill rolled her eyes. Despite being incredibly intelligent, Tanya missed the entire point of her question. Typical human.

“What strategies?” Quill asked, staring down at the ugly face of her new enemy. “Arson? Attacks? Murder?”

“We’re not- well it’s not that extreme.” April said, looking shy. For a girl who had beat up the Shadow Kin, Quill thought April was too passive. Action was needed.

“It’s just a protest.” Tanya explained, opening a new webpage and showing it to Quill. “A march to show woman of all races in all countries standing together.”

On Rhodia, a march would not be enough to protest someone that evil. (At least the Princes’ up-itself species had some respect.) But Earth was only a level five planet and could barely develop phone batteries that lasted the whole day. A march showed potential at least. And it was a great way to raise an army for future attacks.

“This match? What does it involve?”

Tanya and April shared a look. They did the same when dealing with the Prince and Quill was vaguely offended.

“We take signs-” Tanya began.

“And stab this ridiculous man with it?” Quill interrupted. She wondered if the Prince would allow her to hit anyone with a sign. Perhaps she could ask his tall boyfriend to convince him. “There’s hope for your race yet.”

“We’re not stabbing anyone.” April said firmly. Quill sighed, feeling extremely disappointed. (It had been a long week trying to teach basic human physics to the basic human species.)

“Violence isn’t the way to move forward.” April said. Usually Quill would disagree without hesitation but there was something in her voice that even she couldn’t miss.

“Sometimes it is the only way.” Quill said. She thought back to her home planet where for years, her family had struggled to survive as the Rhodians had thrived. No amounts of protests could have changed things there. “There were no other choices.”

“Were you really a freedom fighter?” Tanya asked. It had been a long time since Quill had heard her cause referred to with interest. With respect.

“I was their leader.” Quill looked at the intrigued expressions of the girls who had always seemed too smart to be friends with Charlie. They looked like they cared. It had been too long since she was allowed to express her feelings without the Prince interrupting her. “We wanted our independence but the Rhodia ate up all the planets resources. For years - centuries! - my people suffered due to the Rhodians. We were poor and forced into the smallest of the only three continents which were survivable. Two years before the attack we started protesting. As our numbers grew we finally were able to take action. And then, just as we started believing we had a chance of winning our independence, the Rhodia caught us.”

“And you were into a slave?” Tanya asked.

“You call it slavery?”

“It is slavery.” Tanya said firmly. 

“I agree.”

Quill felt her mouth twitch and turned to the board to avoid her smile being noticed.

“You have a good sense of justice then.”

“Would you want to come with us on Sunday?” Tanya offered. “To the protest. It’s a lot like freedom fighting.”

“An army of women is something I’m willing to support.” Quill turned back to the girls who were looking at with what could only be respect. She had missed that look. Perhaps Quill had an army of woman for longer than she had know.

~~~

Charlie had been giving Quill strange looks all night. He seemed almost suspicious of her. (It was probably the fact that she looked happy.) She’d threatened to hit him with the angry sign she’d been making. It wasn’t a threat she could go though with but he seemed to take the hint eventually and left her alone.

“Hey miss.” Tanya called. They’d let theirselves in, which Quill appreciated. The amount of people who insisted on visiting got annoying quickly. (She’d dismantled their doorbell after a week.)

“Do you not lock the door?”

“I am war itself.” Quill said with a shrug. “And I opened it earlier to throw an apple at the postman.”

“Okay.” April looked taken aback.

“We made you a protest sign.” Tanya said, offering one of her bags to Quill.

“I don’t understand this. 'Take me to your leader?’ I don’t want meet this leader. Unless I can stab him.” Quill looked at the pointed end hopefully.

“It’s a joke.” Tanya explained. “April said wouldn’t get it.” She added, looking disappointed.

“I have my own anyway.” Quill gestured to her own work. She’d written 'I am war itself’ as big as she could. It certainly made a statement.

“Nice.”

“Is that your catchphrase?” Tanya asked.

“It’s a life motto.” Quill answered seriously.

“I went with something a little more traditional.” Tanya held up her sign. “Fight the patriarchy.”

“I can read.”

“I went with 'girls aren’t made of glass but your ego is’.” April held up her sign next to Tanya’s.

“Excellent.” Quill said. “Shall we go into battle?”

“I never thought I’d get to fight the patriarchy with an alien.” Tanya smiled. “This is like a dream I never knew I had come true.”

“Well then,” Quill smirked at her new army, “take me to your leader.”

-

My favourite theme was feminism. One of the many things I love about Class is how literally every recurring female character is well developed and has a traits that make them a strong character. Whether it’s Tanya’s intelligence, April’s strength and bravery or Quill’s fearless fighting instincts, there’s no denying these girls are badass.

[pointofgeeks]

New Post has been published on https://www.pointofgeeks.com/bartlett-tv-show-anthony-veneziale-interview/

EXCLUSIVE: Anthony Veneziale Talks BARTLETT, Freestyle Love Supreme, and the Seeds of HAMILTON

Actor and producer Anthony Veneziale sits down with the Point of Geeks to discuss his new show, Bartlett, his past with Freestyle Love Supreme, diversity in the entertainment industry, the influence of hip-hop, the beginnings of Hamilton, and his work on PBS’ The Electric Company.

Veneziale has appeared in shows such as Sex in the City, SanFranLand, and most notably he’s one of the founders of Freestyle Love Supreme, an interactive stage show that featured future Hamilton stars Lin-Manuel Miranda and Daveed Diggs. The actor’s latest project is the 6-episode streaming series Bartlett, also starring Chrissy Mazzeo (SanFranLand), Don Reed (A Different World), Utkarsh Ambudkar (The Mindy Project), and Lin-Manuel Miranda (Hamilton).

Bartlett follows hapless ad executive Roger Newhouse (Anthony Veneziale), whose life has been on a downward trend. Roger must save his career over a course of a day after his business partner and ex-girlfriend has left him high and dry before a life-changing pitch. However, there is another problem…all Roger want to do is make music. The show is a situational comedy, with full musical segments that bring to life Roger’s dreams and imaginations. 

We were lucky enough to sit down and chat with Bartlett star Anthony Veneziale about his upcoming show. Check out the trailer and interview below!

*****

Point of Geeks: Congrats on the new series airing. How does it feel to finally get it on the air, especially considering you are both (lead) actor and an executive?

Anthony Veneziale: Ah man. Are you kidding me? It’s the best feeling! Like when you have been working on something for so long and you can finally say to people, ‘You can see it here.’ There is like nothing better in the entertainment industry than to be able to do that.

PoG: You have a background performing live, with Freestyle Love Supreme. Tell me a little about that part of your life and how you got here.

Anthony Veneziale: I think that almost everything that I do, even to this day, is somehow rooted in a lot of the things that I learned from Freestyle Love Supreme. And that crew is just this crazy, insane, supergroup. Like soon I think that we will get to the point where people will be like, ‘I didn’t realize everyone was in the Wu-Tang Clan.’ 

The names are just insane. The stuff that we did in the early days, I think, is still very much a part of all of us. So Lin-Manuel Miranda, we used to do – in Freestyle Love Supreme – this game where we would ask the audience for a decade. Any decade throughout time. And then, we would do a rap musical about the decade, for the audience, based off what they asked for. I don’t think that’s a coincidence what came out of that was Chris Jackson’s love of history, him recommending the book to Lin, and then Lin reading Hamilton, and then that being like that was totally natural for us to this point of view around this thing.

PoG: Going off on a little tangent. What do you think about the state of Hip-Hop? Freestyle has become a lost part of the artform. What happened?

Anthony Veneziale: I think that the prosecution is leading the witness. But I do think it’s easy to say ‘Gosh it isn’t like it used to be.’ And there’s something about “nostalgia” that you can paint the past with. But with that said…

I obviously cut my teeth with 90’s hip-hop… It’s going to be really difficult to top… Wu Tang’s 36 Chambers, A Tribe Called Quest with Midnight Marauders. All of these crazy things. Everything kind of happened right then. A lot of people say that was the pinnacle of hip-hop and now we are kind of on the downside of it. But with that said, I think that there is more choice now. A lot more perspective being brought into hip-hop.

I take a page out of Daveed [Diggs] book, which is hip-hop really came out of disenfranchisement and so while you get some you are getting some of the views that aren’t necessarily the disenfranchised voice, you are getting…it’s getting watered down because there are so many different perspectives and when something cuts through though and grinds on that gear and elevates the whole genre…Let’s use Hamilton for an example. I think hip-hop musicals are going to become much more of the groundbreaking part of hip-hop going forward. Then just releasing a commercially successful song. Because let’s be honest. It’s been commodified. It’s been commercialized. Now people understand they can use it in this way and make money off of it. Just my opinion. 

PoG: Kind on that same track. Bartlett seems like the perfect synthesis of your past experiences. You have romantic comedy past, Sex and the City, and of course with Freestyle Love Supreme and the musical bits on the show. How did that come together for you with this project? Were you there from the inception? Because it seems so crafted for your own talents.

Anthony Veneziale: Haha. It’s one of those chicken and the egg type questions. And that’s me quoting Flight of  the Conchords, apologies. So you know Martin Edwards (All The Wrong Places) wrote this a long time  ago and showed me a draft of it. It was something that was going to be done in a theater. And when he showed it to me I thought, ‘Oh wow. This about a lot of white dudes feeling sorry for themself.’ Because it was set in an agency and it was mostly about Roger and a whole bunch of other white people who were like ‘My life is so hard. I want something else.’ So I said I wasn’t interested and then they finished doing the play. And it went pretty well and it was a good show. There was some fun stuff in it! But it’s not stuff that I’m drawn to.

Whether it’s Freestyle Love Supreme or The Electric Company which I helped re-launch. Multiple points of view are things that I value in art. It’s what I’m always looking for and so when Chrissy [Mazzeo] suggested to Martin that they open it up and make it into a web series. I said, ‘That sounds interesting. That sounds cool. But can we do this, this, and this. Can we have a lot more people of color in it? Yes it might be Roger’s point of view but it really should be addressing the topic of sexuality in the workplace. In some light way sort of dismantling the patriarchy, because it serves none of us. And how can we do that in way that’s really fun. 

So at a certain point I said to Martin. What if we make this about a guy that wants to become a musician, instead of a director or something like that. And I can put a lot of original music in there and I can write an original song. I started taking guitar lessons 3 or 4 years ago and I just got so into it. It felt like I should be using this. It was like a new shiny toy. ‘Let me write songs…please!!! And he was like ‘Okay cool. Let’s see what it’s like.’ We would workshop. Do a lot of improv stuff, work scenes. Chrissy and I would work on stuff that Martin wrote. And Martin was always super collaborative and so was Chrissy, so I think that’s what at the heart what made the project really hum and go.

PoG: As far as the musical segments, how long did it take for you to craft them? How did that process go?

Anthony Veneziale: Love the question. Because it’s one of my favorite things. Which is like…how do you make a song? So luckily with this we kind of knew the segments when would be nicefor a breakout moment. We kind of knew what we were trying to accomplish. And for me, I try to find that “feeling word.” The word that encapsulates what we are trying to say. And this all comes out of my freestyle training. I use that word as the pulse… 

The words itself lead me to the pulse. And then from there I get a rhythm that I play over top of it and kind of let that word dissolve away, but it will give that initial beat. Something needs to be the seed and for me it’s the pulse of that beat. And then I will kind of fiddle around on the guitar and try to find the chords that will help to illuminate that concept. I have a little of music theory in my background, so I kind of understand what I’m trying to accomplish when I put together either the riff of the song or a minor resolution or whatever it might be. And then from there I just let it live for awhile. Like the actual melody and song. And then I will start putting words to it and I will just freestyle. I will just sort of make it up and let it happen. And record a bunch of different versions and whittle down until I get the things that I feel like get to the heart of it.

And then by iteration 10 or 12, I’m ready to share it with Martin or… Oh yeah, Bill Sherman who was also big part of Freestyle Love Supreme and is the musical director for Sesame Street, I share it with him, Joel, and Julien who was our musical director on this, And get their feedback and keep reiterating and til it was there. And then it has to have these visual components to it. And this comes for a little bit from my copywriting days where I would do songs for Nickelodeon or whoever it might have been. And you kind of want to make sure that you leaves these options around the visual, so you can make a reference to a thing but it makes a lot sense when you resolve it with the visual on-screen. 

PoG: The show essentially takes place over the course of one day, aside from flashbacks. which is a really fun narrative device. If you are lucky enough for a second season do you plan on using the same type of device where it takes place over a day or week? Have you thought about the second season? 

Anthony Veneziale: Great question. From a producer’s standpoint, we would love to have another season, we have been (sort of) talking about it a bunch. And it seems like it would be a year later and it would still take place during a day. But it would be a different character’s point of view. So probably [Maggie’s] point of view. What’s Maggie going through? What is she dealing with a little more? I think in the first season we were really kind of teeing up this concept of ‘hey what if we don’t abide by societal norms about X, Y, and Z?’ And now for season two, it’s what if we don’t abide by the business norms of X, Y, and Z. And even break free further out of the concept of what women’s roles are and what they have traditionally been and how can we shape it to the world that we want to be living in.

PoG: I like how the show’s focus is on the comedy, but it has a social conscious. It touches on issues of gender, workplace romance, race, sexuality, it’s all there…yet it’s not on the surface. How were you able to layer it so deftly into the writing and performances? It seems like a really important time, even if it’s comedy, for it to have a viewpoint on the world.

Anthony Veneziale: I agree with you wholeheartedly. I think it has to do with the people who are creating it needing to have a shared vision, that they put on the table and they demand to be included in the medium. I think the “Woke” community need to make whatever they are making in a way that includes as many voices as possible and also opens the table for new voices. That’s a very conscious effort that you have to make around that. And that includes casting, to crewing, to how the story gets created, and that’s something that I’m super proud of on this project. We really kept an eye on and worked really hard and had very high standards for each other. And had people talented and visionary enough to make sure that we met those standards. So Chrissy Mazzeo and Rivkah Beth Medow were really the Atlases that held the globe of Bartlett on their shoulders and created a beautiful set and we had 50-60% women in every department across the crew, in the cast, and in the creation. And that to me is the way you do it!

PoG: Bartlett seems to be speaking to two groups of people generally. Millenials that have been accustomed to a faster pace of different employment opportunities and pursuing their dreams more, due to the state of the world today. And also middle-aged people who are also experiencing workplace changes as well. What do you think that show has to say about both groups?

Anthony Veneziale: That’s really cool. I think that they have so much more in common then they are aware. Ultimately I think Millenials are more impowered by the concept of doing something that they love, opposed to doing something so they can afford to live. And I think that for the other generation I think that they have come to that [same] realization just a touch later. So sometimes there’s even a feeling of resentment towards Millenials. Like, ‘Uh, how did they get so empowered. How are they able to ask for exactly what they want.’ (laughs)

But at the end of the day, for both, that you are doing a thing that when you wake up in the morning you feel like it matters to you. You are doing something that you are willing to go whatever extra mile to get done. And that was really true for us on Bartlett. Because all of us are parents. And all of us have other jobby jobs and performance gigs. And we said, ‘Okay bring the kids to set.’ This is a family gig. We get it. And we would work around that. I would leave set around 3 everyday and go pick my daughter up from school, drop her off at home and come back to do more shooting at night. And if you aren’t able to look in the mirror and say what you do matters [to you] you might want to be able to find the thing that does. And it’s easy to say it and hard to do it and I have tons of empathy. 

PoG: You mentioned it in passing. You were involved in the relaunch of The Electric Company on PBS. What can you tell me about that?

Anthony Veneziale: Absolutely. Like most things in my life it came out of the seed of Freestyle Love Supreme. We were doing a off-Broadway run at this beautiful theater called the Ars Nova which is on 54th Street and they just expanded to a new theater down at the Greenwich House, but they will still have the 54th St. theater. We were doing a run there and a friend of the show knew that The Electric Company and some of the people around Sesame Workshop were looking for inspiration around relaunching The Electric Company and this was very early and just throwing some concepts around. And they brought the main creators to our show and afterwards they were like ‘This is what our show is. You doing what you just did up there for Freestyle Love Supreme is exactly the findings that we have around a lot of educational outreach that makes sense for kids to want to learn how to codify language.

So hip-hop, in essence, is this beautiful way to word-chunk. Find chunks of words that have similarities that then make you in your brain say ‘Oh, so these things are like these things.’ And that’s exactly how hip-hop works. And that’s exactly how the human brain that’s developing to learn language actually works. It doesn’t work by memorizing every letter and lining up all the letters. We kind of threw that out the window a long time ago. It’s by codefying. It’s seeing “EE” together and understanding that it sounds like this and “CH” together. And if that isn’t what hip-hop is, right?!? That’s exactly what you are doing, you are grabbing onto those word chunks. And so we started working with them and I had been a teacher for a long time, wo we sort of built out this understanding very early on that this would be the perfect tool to use in this fun way for disenfranchised readers. So kids that don’t see themselves as having the ability or access to reading.

It was super cool. And obviously the original series was a big influence on all of us who were working on it. And we also didn’t want to screw it up. So there was something in the room where we were like ‘this has better be good because the bar is super high.’

PoG: Talk about life coming full circle!

Anthony Veneziale: Totally! Totally!  

*****

Official Synopsis: 

Ad man Roger is desperate to quit his job and follow his dream of becoming a full-time musician. But first, he must correct a year’s worth of bad decisions by making up with his bitter ex-partner (and ex-lover), outwitting his manic boss and winning the pitch of a lifetime. This satirical comedy — featuring original songs by Anthony Veneziale — co-stars Utkarsh Ambudkar and Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Bartlett is now available on Amazon Prime Video and Vimeo on Demand.

What did you think of the new series? Let us know on the comment boards, Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter! Share our stories by simply clicking your favorite social media below!

[nataliehegert]

“It would be ridiculous to say that there’s been no change,” Judy Chicago intones with we’ve-been-through-this-before fatigue, “…but you know I can still open an art magazine and see all male shows. I don’t fucking believe it.” Chicago and I spoke over the phone just weeks after the Women’s March on Washington seared the national consciousness with images of teeming crowds in pink pussy hats. She was “thrilled” about the demonstrations, but warned against focusing so much anger and attention on individuals like Donald Trump. “You know, this is not about a person,” she says, “This is about a structural, global system. And the art world is a picture of it.” The institutions that prop up the patriarchy are the product of hundreds and hundreds of years of consolidated power, and dismantling them involves more than the overthrow of one misogynist president (or museum president, or gallery owner, or collector). For her, this is what feminism is about: “changing the global power structure.”

Judy Chicago’s outspoken attitude, landmark works, and impact on art history, should not be underestimated, but institutionally they continue to be. At 77 years of age, Chicago still has not had a full museum retrospective. The size of her monumental works, such as The Dinner Party (1974–79) and The Holocaust Project: From Darkness Into Light (1985–93), would require a major museum to step up, but so far, they have not.

Though the art world has experienced much change in the fifty years since Chicago began her career, change comes slowly. This October, the Brooklyn Museum will mount an exhibition of studies, preparatory, and research materials from The Dinner Party, marking the first time that serious art scholarship will address the creation of Chicago’s watershed feminist artwork.

However, Chicago’s work is not all feminist monuments and overturning the patriarchy. In September 2017, the artist will be showing the paintings and prints of cats she produced across her career, in a forthcoming exhibition entitled Judy Chicago’s Pussies at Jessica Silverman Gallery in San Francisco. We spent a good deal of our conversation comparing notes about feline personality traits and getting interrupted by our cats’ antics, while we carried on a frank discussion of feminism and intersectionality, craft and kitsch, and the role of research in her work.

NATALIE HEGERT: You have incorporated vaginal imagery in your work since the 1970s. What was it like to see the sea of pink “pussy hats” and signs sporting female genitalia during the Women’s March—essentially, to see the vagina go mainstream, all over the world, in a way it never has before?

JUDY CHICAGO: This is a really big change from when I was a young artist, when any hint of gender in one’s art was just completely unacceptable. So I love it, this profusion of pussy; I think it is hilarious and wonderful: pussy in your face! On the other hand, I have to say, I want to see women artists go beyond concerns for self, and the young generation seems to be all about me.

NH: The feminist movement has gotten flack for trying to unify all women under one banner, and in so doing, marginalizing the experiences and struggles of women of color, trans women, and queer women. You have stated before that you are looking to find ways to use the female experience as a way to express the universal. Has your view of the universal changed in light of the calls for the recognition of intersectionality within feminism? How have you addressed that in your work?

JC: Young feminist theorists like to fantasize that feminist artists of my generation were not conscious of intersectional issues, but that is totally not true. One of the reasons I selected Sojourner Truth for The Dinner Party table was because she was one of the first women to talk about the intersection of gender and race. So, I have always—and certainly as my work developed—explored those issues. For example, in the Holocaust Project, there is a work entitled Double Jeopardy (1992), which looks at women’s experiences in the Holocaust, and deals with the intersection between anti-Semitism and antifeminism; how that defined Jewish women’s experiences.

If you talk about lack of power, victimization, marginalization, discrimination—the things women have experienced all over the planet in various forms—informed as it is by the intersectionality of where you live, what class you are, what race you are, you could say the female experience is more universal that the white, male, Eurocentric experience, right? The idea that a privileged, small class of artists and writers has been exploring and creating images and stories that are universal is actually quite ludicrous.

Judy Chicago and Donald Woodman, Double Jeopardy, 1992, sprayed acrylic, oil, and photography on photolinen, screen printing, and fabric on photolinen, silk, and embroidery, 43.3 x 269.8 in. © Judy Chicago and Donald Woodman. Photo: Donald Woodman

NH: Let’s talk pussy. Your upcoming show at Jessica Silverman Gallery, entitled Judy Chicago’s Pussies, looks like it will feature your cat paintings from 1999–2004.

JC: Since my career turned eastward, as a result of the permanent housing of The Dinner Party at the Brooklyn Museum, I have had tons of shows in New York, in LA, and in Europe—but in the Bay Area and Chicago (if they think of me at all) they think of me in terms of that work. So Jessica [Silverman] tells me she wants to show Kitty City (1999–2004), but people are going to have no context for it. But then, when we were looking in my flat files and my archives, I realized that dating back to the 1970s, there has been an intersection between my interest in developing images of female agency, like in The Dinner Party and my earlier vaginal work, and my interest in cats. In the ‘70s, there is a series of prints I did called Potent Pussy: Homage to Lamont. Lamont was my cat at the time, who died, with whom I had been besotted. So, we started with that, and traced a whole arc of work where there was an overlap between pussies and pussy.

NH: Do you see that as a kind of symbolic relationship?

JC: Well, I do not think so—you know, I have lived with cats since I was twenty-one. The first time I started drawing my cats was in 1993–94 (by that time I had come back to representation). And then I got really interested, like I do, and started doing a lot research about cats. Then I did Kitty City, as a ‘Book of Hours’, based on medieval books of devotion, which actually took 5 years, because you know cats do not exactly pose. It ended up being a really long and fascinating project, because I learned all this stuff about cats! I will give you one little fact: the hypothalamus is the seat of emotion in human beings. Well, it turns out that the hypothalamus in humans and cats is really alike. So there is a kind of an emotional similarity between cats and humans.

NH: Your work has continually challenged art world values—for instance in your incorporation of “craft” mediums like ceramics and needlepoint in The Dinner Party, paintings of cats, or of any domestic animal, occupy a sort of “kitsch” place in art. Is this part of a longstanding project to question the assumptions of value in art?

JC: I do not think like that—I just don’t. I believe that all human experience has the potential for meaningful content. The same with all techniques. It is popular to say that I elevated women’s craft into high art. But, not only had I apprenticed myself to china painters and learned about the history of needlework the decade before—I had gone to autobody school, and had apprenticed myself to boat builders when I wanted to do fiberglass. It is just that those different techniques have been gendered by the historic framework of art. And I just do not think like that. In The Dinner Party, people always talk about women’s craft, but one of the primary people in The Dinner Party studio was an industrial designer named Ken Gilliam. His skills in industrial design underpinned all of the systems in The Dinner Party. But nobody ever talks about that, because they want my work to fit into the categories that have been established, and it just does not fit. And I do not fit. Like, what do you mean, kitsch? Hilton Kramer called The Dinner Party kitsch! Is that how it is viewed now?

NH: One area where I do not think your work gets enough credit is in your massive undertakings of research—The Dinner Partyand The Holocaust Project both involved a staggering amount. Can you speak a bit to the role of research in your work?

JC: Yes—though I do not fit in terms of how a lot of artists make art. For most of my career, I was not focused on my career, the market, or money. I come from a generation before the international art market. We never thought we would make money from our work. What was important to me was making a contribution. I also believe, and have operated from the idea, that art is discovery. That is just how I operate—I educate myself, apprentice myself, study, and look, and then at a certain point I begin to formulate images based on what I have learned and what I have discovered. For me, that is just how I make art.

Interview Posted on 5/23/17, Printed in THE SEEN, Issue 04, May 2017