#let's pretend this is a mutation pls

[persistant-disaster]

LOST FIC HELP PLS

Im going to explain this as best and succinctly as I can because I didn't remember a whole lot about the fic. A friend and I are looking for a fic, but we remember different things about it?

So, here's what we do remember:

- Spideypool romance

- Peter's spider mutation drives him "insane" and begins slowly turning him more and more into a spider

- Peter refers to himself as "we"

- He gets all black eyes

- He finds out that drinking blood keeps him human so he drinks Wade's blood. But we also remember something about Peter eating human flesh (WE'RE NOT SURE ON THIS ONE)

- At the everyone thinks that the mutation is cured, but we find out that Peter has just gotten really good at pretending to be "normal"

- very much murder husband vibes

- venom-esque too!

Please let me know if you know what it is!! I can't find it anywhere. It was definitely on AO3!!

UPDATE!!! FOUND!!!

Here's the link if anyone is interested in reading it! https://archiveofourown.org/works/36796150/chapters/118058527

[valleynix]

The way you bring the characters alive in tptm makes me really wish they’d been canon </3 Like even just imagining reader trying to trick Ethan into trusting them and assuring him they’re totally human and stuck like he is, only to end up luring him to one of the Dimis? God I need it PLEASE, they wouldn’t have let some weaker mold man kill their beloveds

AAAAA THANK YOU PLS, y’all make my day when i get asks like this 😭🫶

honestly, assuming capcom didn’t nerf them immensely (though that offers some new angsty ideas of the Dimis finding out Reader was killed…), i could see their meeting going in one of like three ways:

one, he tries to shoot them or actually does, and he is immediately deemed a threat and disposed of. Reader does not let guns slide in the castle !

two, he doesn’t shoot, and Reader tries to talk him into leaving the castle because his kid isn’t there. they maybe threaten him a little, say he WILL die if he doesn’t leave, yada yada. if he does leave, he’s offered assistance in finding his kid, and if he doesn’t, he’s deemed a threat and disposed of

three, he either does or doesn’t shoot, but Reader pretends to be a survivor, like you said, since he wouldn’t know what golden eyes mean. they “help” him through the castle, acting as a sort of friend or guide, nudging him into a room where they know one of the Dimis are and blocking him in, maybe helping to fight him? i dunno

the only way i could ever see him taking down a Dimitrescu was if Reader just wasn’t around when he first entered the castle, only showing up in a rage after one had been killed or something. imagining them chasing him through the castle, all mutated and distorted, crashing into walls and throwing vases at him…

[lieutenant-amuel]

Hi! I was just thinking about the possibility for Gabeomi kids, and I just thought of something: since Roberto Nunez has brown eyes, which he passed onto Gabe and Bianca’s eyes are a variant of green (I think), wouldn’t that mean that Gabe has the recessive genes for blue eyes? If he has a child with Naomi, who has blue eyes, due to Bianca, that means that it’s more likely that Gabe and Naomi might have blue eyes, wouldn’t it?

Thank you for the ask!!

Personally, I headcanon that Gabe and Naomi's child has green eyes since both Blanca and Scarlett have them.

Brown, blue, and green eye colours are the basic ones. If we consider the green colour, then it's a recessive trait in relation to the brown, and a dominant to the blue.

Gabe is heterozygous, he has brown eyes, but Blanca does green that means she's homozygous recessive. And Naomi is also homozygous recessive since she has blue eyes (and Scarlett, therefore, is heterozygous).

Green and blue colours belong to different alleles, so their children can't have blue eyes (and, looks like, green ones either... rip Fausto ×))

[juviaafullbuster]

@tigerfire54 (It's a side blog) Kinda humourous - Gruvia finds out babybuster is a firemage because of a mutation in their DNA (pls make it extremely hilarious(or not) it's up to you) 🌸🌸🌸

Thank you for the request. I was a little challenged honestly because I'm more of a fluff and angst writer and also not really funny, but I tried my best.. 😅

I changed it up a little, with the DNA thing, I really hope you still like it tho!

*************************************************

"NATSU!"

Gray came running into the guild hall, eyes out for the dragon slayer. He found him sitting on a bench with Lucy, acting all lovey dovey. When he heard Gray call for him, Natsu immediately got up, forgetting about trying to make Lucy swoon and instead ready for a nice traditional fight. He was surprised to be honest. Ever since Gray and Juvia became parents, Gray has been pretending to be all mature and responsible. Now on the other hand, he reminded him quite of his old self. Cold, determined and.. angry? Why did he look so angry? The closer Gray came to him, the more worried Natsu became because even he could tell, this wasn't going to be one of their friendly brawls. Gray was furious and his eyes were screaming murder.

Before he knew what was happening Natsu was thrown against the wall of the guild hall.

"What the hell?"

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." Gray took a hold of Natsu shirt, lifting him up and throwing a strong punch.

"Gray, let him down!" Lucy was desperately trying to remove Gray from Natsu but to no avail. Gray had a death grip on him. He saw some of the guild members staring, but at that moment he couldn't care less.

From the corner of his eye Natsu saw Grays two sons, Silver and Storm, entering the guild hall.

"Dad, stop!" Silver seemed desperate and worried. If only his mom was around, but she was still on the mission with his uncle Gajeel.

Gray glanced to his kids, but didn't let loose.

"Explain!"

"Explain what?"

Gray gestured for his younger son, Storm, to come over. While Silver was a mini version of him, Storm almost had no feature alike with him. He was pretty much the male version of Juvia. Gray wasn't bothered by that, Juvia was pretty so it was a win for the boy really. What bothered him a lot though, was the powers that they had discovered today.

"Storm, show him what you managed to do today." The younger boy didn't seem to register his father's angered state because he just smiled innocently before opening his palm and presenting... a flame?

A hot, glaring, red one.

The whole guild went quite in a matter of seconds. It couldn't be, could it..? Everyone was staring at the flame, desperately trying to make sense of the situation? Ice and water can't make a child with fire powers. It doesn't add up. Unless..

..much more went on on those missions Natsu used to take with Juvia sometimes. It had surprised every body back then. Natsu and Juvia were never exactly close. So why did they suddenly go on so many missions together? Could it be.. an affair?

The gasp when the realization hit everyone were not to be overheard. Well, at least it hit almost everyone. Because Natsu seemed oblivious to everyone's train of thoughts.

"That's awesome! Who teached you that?"

Gray glared at Natsu.

"Noone you ash-brain! They just appeared but unlike Silvers ice power, Storms aren't like mine nor Juvias."

"So? Fire is much better than ice anyway.."

"You've got to be kidding me.." Lucy sighed, not quite sure how to deal with the situation. "Natsu, he thinks you're having an affair with Juvia."

"What?" Natsu looked at her dumbfounded before finally registering the message. "Oh."

"Oh. THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY!?" Elfman sprung to action, holding Gray back who was about to lunch at Natsu all over again.

"Gray, I think you need to calm down and think straight. Do you really believe he would do that?"

"Yes, he's an idiot after all. Wouldn't be the first time I misjudged him."

"Okay.. do you believe Juvia would do that?"

Gray calmed down slowly, finally actually giving his conclusion some thoughts. He didn't have to think long before finding his answer.

"No.."

"Exactly. Now sit down and let us think what might be the actual reason for this."

Gray grumbled an okay, before sitting down on the bench he had knocked Natsu off not that long ago.

"You're right. I don't know what I was thinking. Juvia would never do that. She wouldn't cheat on me. Especially not with someone like him.."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Natsu glared at him, ready to start another fight.

"I think its self explanatory. As if Juvia would sink so low and go out with someone like you."

"Say that to my face you perverted popsicle!"

"I just did, you flame brain! See, that's what I mean, you're way too stupid for her!"

"Who are you calling stupid!?"

"Obviously you, you idiot."

"I'll show you, you damn ice prick!"

"I'd like to see you try, ash brain."

And once again, there were punches being thrown.

"What about Totomaru?"

Gary halted his punch, glaring at Natsu.

"What about him?"

"He was with Juvia in Element 4, right? And he was a fire mage too.."

Lucy glared at Natsu in disbelief. The boy never remembers anything and now out of all the times, his memory worked?

Gray took a step back, registering what Natsu just said.

"No way.. Juvia.. Juvia wouldn't.."

Talking about the devil. Juvia walked into the guild hall accompanied by Gajeel.

"There you are. Juvia has been looking for you. Juvia missed her boys." She opened her arms and caught her sons, enveloping them in a tight hug.

"Don't you dare say a word." Gray whispered to Natsu. He'd talk to her about this later, in private.. he made enough of a scene already. Natsu nodded after Lucy elbowed him slightly.

"How have my boys been?"

"Great. But daddy is mad.." Silver glanced at his father who's eyes suddenly became huge.

"Why? Graysama, what's wrong?" Juvia looked at Gray with worry. There's no way she did it.. not with the way shes looking at him. There would be another explanation.

"Daddy thinks you're cheating."

"WHAT!?"

Juvia jumped up, immediately running to Gray. "WHAT THE HELL? GRAYSAMA, WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT!?" The water mage already had tears in her eyes. And Gray realized he's an idiot. No way, she did it.

"Calm down, it's a misunderstanding.. It's.. it's just Storm."

"What about him? Is my baby okay?"

The little boy appeared next to his mom, tears filling his eyes. Now he looked even more like Juvia.

"Daddy doesn't like my powers.." Storm sniffled, while demonstaring the flame in his hands. Juvia stared at it before looking at the situation around her and watching the bruise that was starting to form on Natsus face.

"Gray, did you.. did you think Juvia cheated on you.. with Natsu?"

"Well, I.. I mean."

"Juvia would never cheat on you! Especially not with.." she glanced at Natsu "..him."

"HEY!"

"Told you!" Gray looked at Natsu smugly, proud of his wife. The wife that was glaring daggers his way.

"JUVIA CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! AFTER EVERYTHING. YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE THAT! JUVIA IS SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU GRAYSAMA!" Juvia let out a sob, turning her back to Gray.

"No, Juvia listen.. I don't, I mean.."

"Ha, you're so whipped, you popsicle!"

"Shut it, you flame brain!"

And chaos erupted once again. Lucy was desperately trying to hold back Gray and Natsu who were once again throwing punches at each other. Juvia was bawling her eyes out, drowning the guild hall while Storm was proudly showing of his flames to his older brother and the other kids.

"What the hell is going on here!? I demand an explanation."

The whole guild froze while Erza glared at the bunch. She had just walked in, followed by the Shadow gear group.

It was Lucy who dared to speak up after a long awkward silence. She explained everything in a hurry.

"I see."

"That's all you are going to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Fair point."

"Can I say something?" Levy spoke up behind her.

"Sure."

"I have the explanation."

"Huh?" Every head turned to her, eagerly waiting for her to continue.

"The kids played with some of my potions yesterday. I found an empty bottle, one which changes your powers into the opposite. Turns out, it was Storm who drank it.." Levy laughed a little awkwardly, waiting for the reactions.

Gray glared at his son.

"Is that true?"

"Oh yes, the twins said I'd become much stronger if I drink it all."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS? I CANT BELIEVE YOU. AND WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO FROM THE START? ALSO, DON'TJUST DRINK STUFF. IT COULD HAVE TURNED OUT EVEN WORSE!" He scolded his son, furious with the whole situation. Juvia on the other hand was surprisingly quiet.

"Aren't you going to say something?" Gray glanced at the blunette, waiting for a response.

"That means, he got Juvias water powers right? Because water and fire are opposites?"

Levy nodded at Juvias question. "Exactly. The spell should work off anytime soon now though."

Juvia grinned proudly, lifting up her son and completely forgetting about the whole cheating accusations and the scolding she was supposed to do. She couldn't stay mad at her boys for long anyway.

"Juvia is so happy, she'll teach you everything. Let's go, mama will show you the water lock. It's what she first used on your dad."

Gray was deep in thoughts, thinking about how to apologize for ever thinking so bad about his wife while looking at her retreating form, before finally registering what she just said.

"Juvia, wait, no! You can't teach him something so dangerous yet, get back her!"

He ran after her, followed by Silver, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"What a weird family I have.."

[l-egionaire]

ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!

Peter Parker X Sophia Sanduval AKA Chat

General:

Rate the Ship -  

Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Until the other one dies.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Sophia fell for Peter almost the minute they met. Peter took a little longer but he fell hard when he did.

How was their first kiss? - So quick they almost didn't realize it happened. Chat gave Peter a quick peck to the lips before leaving and it took them a moment to realize what just happened.

Wedding:

Who is the best man/men? - That's complicated because peter had two weddings. One in public as Peter Parker and one in private as Spider-Man with his superhero buddies. For his public one it was Harry Osbourn. For his private one it was Johnny Storm.

Who proposed? - Peter. He took Chat on a date to the Bronx Zoo and planned to propose to her but then a supervillain battle broke out. After handling it, he immediately asked her to marry him before something else happened.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Mary Jane Watson. Sophia didn't have a ton of friends when she met Peter due to being a mutant and after meeting each other, she and MJ hit it off.

Who did the most planning? - Sophia for the public one and Tony for the private one. Peter tried to help and even took some time off Spider-Man stuff but he was just really busy.

Who stressed the most? - Peter. He had Miles doing his Spider-Man duties for both weddings but couldn't help but worry something would happen

How fancy was the ceremony? -

Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Sophia's Parents. They threw her out when she was a teen and the last time she saw them wasn't great so it was decided not to invite them.

Sex:

Who is on top? - Sophia. I see Peter as too worried about his super strength to try topping his partner.

Who is the one to instigate things? - Again, Sophia. Pete isn't the type to start things often.

How healthy is their sex life? -

Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? -

Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - A while. Pete's spider-Enhanced Stamina and Chats determination go a long way.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yeah. They each try to give the other their fair share.

How rough are they in bed? -

Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? -

No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - 1. May Parker-Sanduval

How many children will they adopt? -0

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - They try to keep it even but its usually Sophia.

Who is the stricter parent? -Ironically Peter. His daughter has mutant spider powers so he knows to be careful and keep a close watch on her.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Peter. He's a serious worrywart.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? -Sophia usually makes the kids lunches.

Who is the more loved parent? - They're loved equally.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? Both. Due to physical mutations their child attends Xaviers school so they have meetings with the X-men.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Peter liked to pretend that was sweat but Chat knows better.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Peter. He knows how rough it can be dealing with authorities.

Cooking: 

Who does the most cooking? - Chat. She was already an impressive cook when they met but then she got some lessons from Aunt May. She continues the beautiful Parker tradition of breakfast wheatcakes.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Sophia. She's a vegetarian.

Who does the grocery shopping? -They try to split it between them though Pete often grabs things when on patrols.

How often do they bake desserts? - Sophia sometimes bakes the occasional cake.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Peter is a mete lover while Sophia is a veggie head. They make it work.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Sophia.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Peter. Whenever he wants to give Chat a break from cooking.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Peter. Master inventor and chemist but terrible cook.

Chores: 

Who cleans the room? - Peter. Spider powers make cleaning a breeze.

Who is really against chores? - Neither.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Sophia since most of them are hers.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Sophia if she's in a rush.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Peter. He rushes to make sure theirs no spider stuff sticking out.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Chat. Some mice told her where it was.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Peter.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? -Chat.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? -If there is anything resembling a holiday coming up they go all out on decorations.

What are their goals for the relationship? - Yo love each other.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? -Peter. Long nights as Spider-man

Who plays the most pranks? - Chat.

[sitorrothekitsune]

10

24

32

40

46

50

Holy shit...

JEFF WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

I DONT KNOW??

It’s okay... we can do this... just answer one at a time...

Okay...

Question ten... do you watch anime and if so what’s you favorite...

Sadly, the dumbass here forces me to watch everything with him, and we’ve seen some really horrifying shit. But, so far, my favorite has to be “Helpful Fox Senko-San” because while she isn’t representative of my species (she’s actually a lot more lenient and forgiving)—

i learned that the hard way...

EXCUSE ME? ITS MY TURN TO TALK.

She is still adorable, and I can feel her pain.

And since the showman here wants to be an ass, I will be talking for him.

Hey!

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR A SINGLE PEEP OUT OF YOU.

Anyway, as I was saying. Currently Jeff’s favorite is “I don’t want to get hurt, so I’ll max out my defense.” Yes, the long title gang scored here. He loves seeing the bullshit they’ll come up with next because it’s all adorable. And, for once, I’ll agree with him.

Question 24... which will be answered as question 27... what’s your favorite earthly animal...?

Fox.

40... the swap one... right? We just answered this. I want to swap with Rimaru the slime, and the Pervert here wants to be me.

GivE iT TO Me.

NO!! I won’t say it again!

Pls?

Just staaahhhppp pleeeaaaassseee...

46! Favo-

No, you’ve lost speaking privileges.

Favorite anime character, right? Still Senko for me. But, I regret to inform you that I’ll have to let the showman speak because I don’t actually know his.

Regret!?

Yes, you’ve been nothing but pain today.

Like you’re any better

Just answer the fucking question, will you?

Ah- yes... my favorite anime character is............... drumroll...........

FUCKING SAY IT.

Sicily von Claude. There. You happy now?

Yes...

As far as OC’s, Jeff wrote the post pretending to be me so I don’t actually know what that means.

OC means Original Characters. OP seems to be under the impression we’re fictional.

How can you prove we aren’t?

...

Anyway, if I were to give you the entire list about me (I’m assuming that’s what you want), the post would be 20 times longer than it already is, and I know my ADHD brain is already having a hard time reading this. So, I’ll give you the briefest of Summaries.

I’m Sitorro, I’m a mutated Fox Girl born from the God of the universe and his wife, Oichi. I was born a long time ago but got separated from my family at a young age. When I got back, my siblings had already grown up. Over the years of my absence I learned a lot of comabat skills, honed my Magic, and did other cool things. I can go into more detail with more specific questions.

Okay, I’m done now.

...

Jeff?

Jeff?

Jeff!

Huh? Oh! Sorry! I’m Jeff! I exist!

Seriously...?

Wat?

Nothing...

As for question 32, what do you want to ask op, Jeff?

I’m not sure.

Actually... I have an idea. What does your tail feel like?

Jeff... n o .

Sitorro, y e s .

N O !

It’s too late now...

Ugh... you’re a pain.

I take pride in it.

*sigh*

There you have it... my host is a pain, this blog is dumb, and now DKW has to tell Jeff what their tail feels like. I’m sure everyone is happy.

Hehe.

[mythrilhusk]

Korosensei Never Dies -Chapter 9

Words: 2,140 Ao3 Version Chapter 8 (Last)

TW: threats of violence, heavy (but short) discussions of death/murder

Quackity scowls blearily at the returning heroes. He and the other Ducklings were up the whole damn night trying to work out infiltration plans after Bad gave them the location of the laboratory and then peaced out with his team of scammers. Bad won't be returning again, but thanks to him, the Ducklings missed the whole rescue mission.

It's summer vacation, so everyone ought to be home anyway, but Philza promised to teach them fighting, and by the goddamned stars, Quackity is determined to make the old man follow through. 

Philza steps tiredly into the classroom. His bloodshot, baggy eyes go wide in surprise as he sees all the students gathered there. Quackity salutes him with a smirk. Ranboo hides in the shadows of the door, watching Phil with worried sulkiness. 

"Kids, I need a favor." Philza collapses into a chair, hiding his face. "I know you want him dead. But- please. Wait a bit." He hesitates and then continues in a ragged voice, "Purpled hit him with a neutralizing agent. He- he can die, again. I'm begging you all, please don't tell anyone or try to kill him until our time is up." 

"Why should we??" Quackity demands, realizing immediately with a confusing mixture of delight and horror that Technoblade has been rendered vulnerable. Does this mean their plan to sneak into the lab is pointless now? "I don't know." Philza hiccups. He's crying. The tears burn a hole through Quackity's delight. "I don't know, dammit. Please, just wait to kill him at the end of the year. No, better, kill both of us then, I've done the same terrible things as he has! I should be punished too, goddammit, why is he the one to suffer for both our crimes??" 

"I'll wait." Quackity leans back. "I'll fucking wait till time's up, but that doesn't mean I'm giving up my revenge." 

"I'll wait too!" Tommy cries. "I'm the fucking king of procrastination!" 

Sapnap and the Ducklings follow Quackity's example. The others follow Tommy's example. Together, the class proclaims their willingness to postpone Techno's death. 

Philza rubs his eyes and takes the handkerchief Tommy stole from Wilbur to offer him. "Thank you, kids." 

"We still get fighting lessons, right?" Quackity asks with a scowl.

"Yes, of course you do. You've all earned them." Philza smiles tremulously. "Ranboo, Techno, you can come out." 

Ranboo steps into the light, blatantly normal-seeming, so unlike the nightmare Tommy and Charlie described. He hovers beside Technoblade as the former terrorist limps through the room to reach his desk. He seems so small and frail without the mutation-induced strength. He looks so weak. Quackity could put a bullet through his head right now and he wouldn't be able to dodge or absorb it. 

But Quackity sees Philza watching Techno with worried, fond eyes. He thinks of Sapnap. Of Techno eating the goddamn grenade to save Sapnap. 

Quackity decides he can wait. If he kills Technoblade right away, after all, Philza won't give anybody fighting lessons. 

And if Philza doesn't give them fighting lessons, then who the fuck is going to wreak vengeance on whatever motherfucking scientists created the mutants?

++++

Niki and Jack watch through binoculars as their enemies spar with each other in the clearing outside the remote school building designated for Class 3-E. "Dang." Jack says. "They're not bad." 

"They can't fight a bomb." Niki grins. 

"Much less ten." Jack matches Niki's toothy smile. 

"Did you get the supplies?" 

"Yes, ma'am." 

"Good work, Jack." Niki drops lightly from the tree. "We can proceed with the operation Smithereens in a week." 

"Awesome." Jack chuckles darkly. "Do we really want to give them that much time, though?" 

"We need to get them acclimated to the bait, first." Niki taps her fingers to her lips. "This will go wonderfully, Jack, don't worry. That loser class won't be a threat much longer." 

++++

"Sir, Purpled is dead." HBomb reports, wincing nervously in apprehension. 

"The fuck he is, I told that bitch to get me Technoblade, and by god, he'd better do it!" Schlatt tips a whiskey bottle into his mouth, gulping the burning liquid down. He lowers it and peers at HBomb. "Unless somebody fucked up again." 

"He must have, sir." HBomb grasps the lifeline eagerly. "The neutralizing agent was nowhere near his body." 

"What?" Schlatt says calmly, his tone barely warning of the torrent of rage he's about to unleash upon the poor unwitting HBomb. "Where the fuck is it, then?" 

"Our clean-up team found the crushed casing nearby!" HBomb continues to dig his grave. "So-" 

"So he found it, and destroyed it." Schlatt snarls. 

HBomb nods quickly. "Y-yes, but-"

"Do you know how long it took to make enough neutralizer for one dart??" 

"Months, sir, but-"

"And you're telling me Purpled fucked up badly enough that somehow that goddamn mutant knew about the dart and destroyed it." 

"Well- see, we have reason to believe Dream is involved!" 

"Damn it!" Schlatt bellows and smashes the whiskey bottle on the table. His hand starts to bleed and sting from the shards. "HBomb." He growls, trying to pretend he's still in control; he needs to still be in control. "Why the fuck is that motherfucking spider involved?? I gave him a mutant already, why the hell does he want to steal mine??" 

"I thought you'd want his help!" HBomb squeals. "So I let him know we're trying to hunt Technoblade down!" 

"Fuck this, fuck you, you motherfucking imbecile, you complete and utter moron, why the fUCK WOULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS??" Schlatt roars. 

HBomb cowers, hiding ineffectively behind his broom. "I- I'm sorry, sir, but I thought-"

"Well, there's the fucking problem, yeah, bitch?? You thought. I do the thinking here." Schlatt reaches for his gun. "You want to know what I'm thinking, HBomb? Do you want to know what I'm thinking of, right fucking now??" 

"Pl-please-" HBomb whimpers, staring into the barrel as it aims between his eyes. 

"I'm thinking you're fucking useless to me, HBomb. And you know what happens to useless whiny bitches like you, right?" 

"Please don't kill me!" HBomb sobs. 

"Ahh, whatever." Schlatt lowers the gun, too furious to admit he can't bring himself to actually pull the trigger and become a murderer. "Leave my sight and don't fucking show your ugly mug for a week." 

HBomb scurries away, leaving Schlatt to bind his bloody hand, alone in the sterile laboratory. 

++++

Getting beaten up would have been bearable. Being bullied mercilessly would have been completely deserved. But being completely and utterly ignored for days on end breaks Eret like a goddamn crusher.

The more he thinks back on her actions, the guiltier she feels. During the sparring classes, they copy Philza's moves alone, behind everyone else working with partners. When the class decides to camp in the forest for the rest of summer vacation, Eret sets up his tent several meters away from the rest. She stands back and watches their former friends banter and laugh as they raise their own tents. 

"Hey."

Eret almost jumps at the low voice of Ranboo addressing her. Turning, he faces the mutant, clenching her hands to hide the trembling. "Yeah?" 

Ranboo steps up next to them, gazing into the smoking campfire amidst the scattered tents. "Why are you scared of me?" 

"You- you already know why." Eret stares at his hands. Out, out, damned spot.

"Um. I don't really remember, but yeah, okay." Ranboo sighs. "I- I don't think I'm sorry." 

"Neither am I, apparently." Bitterly laughing, Eret grips her chest as the sharp pain of grief blossoms. 

"I think you are." 

"What do you know??" Eret lashes out, shoving Ranboo. "If everything had gone according to plan, it would all be fine!" 

"But you still wouldn't have any friends." Ranboo replies calmly. 

It hurts that he's right. Eret knows he's right. They turn away, hunched and close to tears. "Why am I scared of you?" She mutters in a low, desperate voice. "Because I know. I saw what you are. I know you- you killed Purpled." 

Ranboo frowns. "Techno killed him." He says it so casually. Techno. As though the bastard wasn't a mass-murderer and terrorist, bestowing violence in the name of anarchy and blood. "What do you think I am?" 

"A monster." Eret snaps, rounding on Ranboo, who backpedals with surprised fear in his eyes. "You're a monster. You might not remember. Your friends might pretend to forget. But I know." 

Ranboo gathers his composure and stands his ground, forcing Eret back a step. "If I'm a monster, and I protected my friends... what does that make you?" He turns on his heel and storms away into the trees. 

Shattered and lost, Eret can only watch him disappear. 

++++

Karl slips a briefcase under the table to his contact, who takes it and gives it a little shake. His contact then slides a folder over the table. Karl snatches it and stuffs it in his backpack. The two remain in silence for a moment longer. Karl leaves first. 

Once out of the main school's cafe, he runs all the way through the woods to the Ducklings' treehouse. Echoing footsteps crack twigs behind him as he reaches the gang's base. 

"Hey, what's that?" Fundy doesn't even bother trying to hide anymore as Karl climbs into the treehouse. 

Karl pulls the ladder up. "None of your business." 

"C'mon, we're in the same class!" 

"You're not a Duckling." 

"I can help!! Pleassse?" Fundy begs. 

"Who the fuck is bugging you, Karl??" Quackity sticks his head out the window. "Fundy?? Get the hell outta here." 

"That was HBomb you were talking to!" Fundy cries desperately. Karl groans and hides his face in his hoodie. "I know that guy! I used to work for him!" 

"Where?" Quackity asks. 

"Some laboratory in the capital!" Fundy cries. "I was shadowing him for a potential internship!" 

"Let the ladder down." Quackity orders. Karl sighs as he obeys. 

"Fine, but I don't trust you." 

"You don't have to." Fundy gives a smug smile as he leaps up the ladder. 

Karl enters the treehouse and sets the blueprints down on the table. Sapnap and Foolish stop painting Connor's hair and gather around with Quackity and Fundy. 

The laboratory blueprints spread across the table, promising revenge. Karl looks up and sees the hungry fire in Quackity's eyes. He looks to the side and meets the molten steel in Sapnap's gaze. 

Quackity draws his dagger and sets the point on the blueprints. "Whoever the fuck's been experimenting on people, let's fucking find them and end their pathetic lives." 

++++

Technoblade slashes the saplings with a rapier, taking out his frustrated fury on the innocent young trees, ignoring the twinges of pain. He shouldn't be this weak. 

Even before Schlatt started experimenting on him, he was stronger than this. He was powerful. The best fighter, the best tactician, the best at strategy. Now his body is frail and hurts merely to move. 

He tries to snarl, but his breath catches in his throat, fear slithering roots into his chest. Irrational. He's being irrational. Technoblade isn't afraid of anything. 

Except perhaps the pale blue of scrubs, the glint of scalpels, the searing agony- No! Technoblade scowls and tries to shove the flashes of terror and hunger and bitter, helpless rage away. 

Philza approaches him with a cup of tea. Technoblade flinches away, unable to look at the man he failed, the friend he abandoned. "Techno?" Philza sets the tea down on a fallen tree and presses a hand to Technoblade's shoulder. 

"Who am I, Phil?" Technoblade begs. Weak. The old Technoblade would never beg, would never cry. 

"You're my friend." Philza answers. 

"Why aren't I dead?" 

"The kids agreed to keep it a secret and wait until the year is up." 

"Phil. It's not going to last forever, Phil, you need to kill me soon. I can feel the damn resonancy in my chest. I don't know how long you have, but you need to kill me before I destroy the world." 

"Techno." Philza's voice shakes. "No. Techno, we'll find something."

"Find what?? It hurts, Phil. It hurts to move, it hurts to talk... I've killed so many people, Phil, I deserve this, I deserve to die! Kill me, please. The kids are too innocent. They don't need to be turned into murderers like me." He thinks of Quackity, the blazing fire. He thinks of Ranboo, the gentle nightmare. Of Tommy, the merciless sunshine. Each and every student. They deserve better. 

"Technoblade." Philza grips Techno's chin and brushes back his hair. "I deserve death as much as you. But I'm going to keep living. There's still people we need to kill, Techno, there's still governments to dismantle! We can't end now! We'll find a cure. A real cure. I promise." 

"I don't want you to die." 

"Ditto, mate." Philza embraces Techno gently. Techno wraps his arms around his friend, afraid to let go.

[d-rownindesigner]

yo yo yo fuck is this

i have an art blog here as well [@bingeboy], but i felt like it was getting really crowded with reblogs and trans/truscum related shit so now i have this sideblog for getting triggered on instead.

my name’s moe and i’m a 15-year-old transguy. i’m fully out with pretty much everyone and i find that generally i pass quite well. i’m pre-t but i’m on the waiting list. i’m from the uk [where currently transition surgery/hrt is covered by the nhs] and i’m incredibly glad that i am as it means i won’t have to fork out thousands of pounds for surgery. i’m also straight! which is not something i see that often on tumblr to be honest, but there u go. i’m a big nasty truscum, ‘two genders’ ace-exclusionist man so stay away owo

non-lgbt stuff: i like rap music and i have two cats and a dog. i like hentai a lot, my favourite colour is hot pink, i swear a lot [including ‘offensive’ slurs] and i like filthy frank. i’m politically left-wing but i’m not a ‘libfag’. i’m actually a huge pushover. i have a girlfriend and she lets me share her ice lollies at lunchtime :)

hot take: brockhampton is just odd future for hipsters

opinions?:

- dysphoria is 100% required to be trans and if u believe otherwise ur fucking retarded [if u don’t have dysphoria ur cis, but that’s nothing to be ashamed of].

- i don’t believe in any gender identities outside of the binary male and female. but if ur nonbinary i won’t hate u and i certainly won’t misgender u or disrespect u in any way other than questioning ur identity in a polite manner.

- pronouns are gendered and the pronouns u use should directly correspond to ur gender. however they/them pronouns are pretty much fair game and can be used by anyone as they are gender neutral.

- neopronouns and neurogenders are utter shit.

- gender shouldn’t come from trees or feelings or space. it’s biological and entirely to do with brain sex.

- being intersex isn’t a ‘third sex’ like people claim it is. it’s just a genetic mutation. intersex people aren’t inherently lgbt.

- asexual and aromantic people aren’t inherently lgbt either. obviously it’s totally cool to be ace/aro but that doesn’t make u lgbt in and of itself.

- pansexuality is a thing. probably.

- being tucute harms trans people just as much as being a terf, gender-critical or a radfem. stop pretending ur bullshit is better just because it’s ‘more inclusive!!! uwu’.

- u can’t be a ‘he/him lesbian’, a ‘she/her gay man’ or a ‘nonbinary lesbian/gay’. to identify this way is to say that pronouns are not gendered and making the gender of pronouns irrelevant harms actual trans people. consequently y’all are getting the ‘they/them’ treatment from me.

- self-diagnosis is usually invalid and dumb. if u think u might have a mental disorder that’s fine! but get it diagnosed before u go bragging about it online.

- not all trans people are ur ‘SLAY QUEEEEN!!!’ or ‘uwu soft boi~’ aesthetic, and we also aren’t purely a fetish. but liking tranny porn or having a preference for fucking/dating trans people is NOT fetishization or in any way discriminatory! it’s just a preference! different people have different bodies and some people prefer some bodies over others. it’s not that deep.

- please stop calling the lgbt community the ‘queer’ community. i hate the word queer and i don’t want to be called queer due to being a straight trans man. i’m sure lots of other lgbt people feel the same way. if u wanna reclaim queer that’s fine, but don’t force it on other people who don’t identify with it.

uhh ok then

i’m just getting into this kind of shit so if u end up liking the stuff i post pls advertise me! i am in constant need of external validation and i’m actually an ok guy once u get past the obnoxious trying-really-hard-to-be-masculine exterior.

[emkayoh]

Spider-Man: Homecoming Fic Recs

Alright, I snapped y’all. I’m blown away by the quality of writing in this fandom and I want to share some of my absolute faves that I’ve found. Especially since I haven’t really seen any fic recs and these fics deserve to be spread like wildfire. So here are my top favorite reads, mostly Tony and Peter centered because of course. 

(Under the cut because this is looooooong):

How to Repair a Broken Heart by InfluentialPineapple (WIP)

Summary: The Mechanic has a lot on his plate; Thanos is coming, the Guardians of the Galaxy are marooned, Thaddeus Ross is reaching right down his throat, and a budding super hero deserves his full attention. He's also dying. No big deal. He can fix it. He can fix anything.

And he can do it all without even opening that stupid phone.

Now, where did those notes on Extremis go...?

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Mature

Notes: Holy shit, y’all. This is definitely my favorite fanfiction... ever. Out of everything I’ve ever read. It’s still a WIP so beware of that, but I am extremely confident in the author’s ability to finish it. And honestly, it’s well worth reading even if it isn’t finished. It has some of the most spot-on characterization, an amazing plot that rivals whatever Marvel cooks up for Infinity War, and glorious writing. 10/10 I am in the fandom for this fic specifically. (Warning: Violence, torture, lots of death.)

The Long Way Round by undeerqueen

Summary: Tony wants him to hold on. Peter just wants to go home.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: Okay, warning... this is a death fic. But it’s my favorite death fic ever written. It’s so beautifully written in a way that keeps you hanging on until the very end and leaves a hole in your heart that never goes away. If you’re like me and enjoy that kind of stuff, please, please, please for the love of god, read this fic. (Edit: This is a whole series now!!! Even more pain abounds.)

three words that became hard to say (i and love and you) by madasthesea

Summary: Tony likes giving gifts to prove his love, but they don't usually have four paws and a tail.

AKA: Tony, Peter, and a dog named Maggie learn how to be a family.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I’m crying???? I’m usually not a fan of fics that kill off May so that Peter and Tony can be a family because she deserves better than that, but this fic is the ONLY exception. May isn’t cast aside as unimportant, Tony struggles to make Peter accept him as his new guardian, and there’s a dog! What could be better than that? (Edit: It’s a whole series now!! Tears from beginning to end.)

Everyone You’ve Ever Loved by JBS_Forever

Summary: “You will lose, Tony Stark,” the man says. “You have taken everything from me. Now I'm going to take everything from you.”

(Or: A masked-man threatens to destroy everyone Tony Stark has ever cared about. He starts by taking Peter.)

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: I honestly had a hard time picking out a JBS_Forever fic to include in this rec list, because everything they write is amazing and I recommend all of it, but this fic stands out. It’s a classic “Peter gets kidnapped and Tony has to save him” fic, which is a favorite trope of mine lol (are you noticing a pattern with the fics I tend to like?) It’s a oneshot but it’s MASSIVE and really realistically portrayed. I love how she writes Tony and Peter and I was holding my breath the whole time. 

Astronomy In Reverse by pansley (WIP)

Summary: A year after the Winter Soldier failed his mission in DC, Bucky Barnes is doing his best to stay under the radar from both Hydra and Steve Rogers. His hope for a peaceful day-to-day life in limbo goes awry, however, when he meets Queens’ newest hero; a pure-hearted kid with a death wish and a ridiculous pair of red and blue pajamas.

The last thing Steve expects when he finally tracks Bucky down is that, not only has the man been living in Queens all this time, right under his nose, but also that, in the two years since they last saw each other, Bucky somehow acquired a kid.

Alternatively: How Peter Parker effectively fucks over Bucky Barnes, and also totally saves him.

Relationship: Bucky and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: I guess I should mix things up a bit and rec one that isn’t a Tony and Peter fic! This one took me by surprise. I read it because I was intrigued by the relationship tag between Bucky and Peter and didn’t know how it would work. Spoiler: It works very well. It’s so different from a Tony fic but it’s so precious. Featuring foster kid/homeless Peter Parker. Also a WIP and only in the beginning stages but I sense a really interesting plot. (Warning for attempted sexual assault in one of the chapters! But it’s very, very brief. )

Weak Spot by grilledcheesing

Summary: Peter Parker has been sent back in time hundreds of times after their last face off with Thanos to do the one thing nobody else can: save Tony Stark.

Unfortunately, he has to find a way to kill his past self to do it.

And the last thing Tony is going to do is let him.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Back on my Tony and Peter bullshit. This author is a very prominent author in the fandom so I’m sure you’ve read at least one of their fics if you’ve read a lot of Homecoming fics, but this is my absolute favorite of theirs. It’s such an interesting (and heartbreaking) concept and it’s another one of those stories that leaves you feeling empty inside. Warning for more character death.

pretending by ace8013

Summary: Natasha reflects on what she noticed.

Relationship: All of the Avengers really, but come on I read it for the Tony and Peter

Rating: Not Rated

Notes: I’m honestly... flabbergasted that this fic has so few kudos. Pls go read it and give it more. It’s really short but so poignant and says so much with so little. I honestly love it so much. It’s in Natasha’s POV which is really interesting and the author really nails her personality. It’s absolutely soul-crushing and it will only take you like 2 minutes to read please just do it. (Warning for so much character death...)

Tony Built a Son by Footloose_Poets

Summary: Peter navigates learning to be human. Tony navigates fathering an android.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: General Audiences/Teen

Notes: Ohmygosh... this one probably isn’t surprising considering the massive amounts of fanart I’ve drawn for it. The idea is so obvious yet so unique and satisfying to read. The author does an AMAZING job creating a realistic world where Tony builds an android son to keep his loneliness at bay and keeps both Tony and Peter so in character despite the vastly different circumstances from their movie counterparts. And it’s a whole series! Every new installment is a beautiful read, and the author even created a tumblr: @friendly-neighborhood-android to post mini ficlets, art, and factoids in the interim. 

5 Times Peter Thought Tony Was Mad by caraminha

Summary: ... and one time he actually was.

Set a few months after Aunt May's death where Tony is Peter's legal guardian. Navigating a new life together and settling into being father and son is a rollercoaster - falling in love with the kid? Easy. Dealing with a grieving teenager, and trying to figure out how to do this whole parent thing? Uh... not so easy.

Relationship: Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Oh no more dead May. But I promise I only recommend these fics when they’re really well-written! And this is a REALLY good fic. I got so many feels reading this and domestic Tony and Peter really gives me life. Tony messes up a little but more than makes up for it, and then Peter messes up a lot but it’s okay because Tony loves him. It’s so adorable and heartwarming and I had the warm fuzzies the whole time.

Only Human by tonysta_k

Summary: When Flash takes things too far - pushes Peter too far by mentioning his fathers and what happened, Peter can't take it anymore.

Or, an au where after civil war, Steve was put in prison, Tony has a hard time facing his feelings, and Peter just wants to see his pops.

Relationship: Steve/Tony (Past), Tony and Peter

Rating: Teen

Notes: Damn. I don’t even ship Stony. I don’t like it, Steve has hurt Tony too much for me to ever see them as romantically involved, but if Stony just so happens to be in an intriguing Tony and Peter fic... fine, I’ll read it, so sue me. But wowowow did this fic hit me where it really hurts. It’s good because it acknowledges Steve and Tony’s failed relationship and puts Peter right in the middle of a REALLY nasty divorce. It’s really heart-breaking and realistic and claws at your emotions. 10/10 had to hug my parents right after reading. 

for good by Madelinedear

Summary: "Sorry, May, we can't all be best friends with a celebrity.”

May opens her mouth to retort reflexively, the words 'we aren’t even friends' on the tip of her tongue before she closes her mouth. Because they are friends, now. They’re way past that point.

Oh my god, she thinks somewhat hysterically. Tony Stark is my best friend.

(or; Tony Stark, May Parker, and the road to something like friendship)

Relationship: Tony and May

Rating: General Audiences

Notes: YES!!! YES!!! YEEESSSSS!!! Finally, the Tony and May fic I’ve been waiting for!!! To end this rec list on a fluffier note (because boy do I love angst, huh?) this fic is hilarious, heartwarming, and so in-character. It’s a really good study of how May and Tony’s relationship might evolve over time due to their mutual bonding over fiercely loving Peter. It’s everything I ever wanted in a May and Tony friendship fic and more. 

---

And these two are not necessarily Homecoming fics but I have to include them because they are on the list of my all time favorite Spider-Man fics: 

Weaver of Silk and Dreams by a_stands_for

Summary: Ben Parker sighed as he looked up into The Thing's eyes, so expressively human in spite of the rest of his rocky appearance.

“My fifteen-year-old nephew--who's practically my own little boy!--” he choked out with a tight voice, “h-he can't pass for human anymore. He's scared, and he's isolated, and he just needs someone else to talk to! Someone who can understand. Please."

_____

Some alternate realities are unrecognizable, and some are indistinguishable. This one lies somewhere in between.

Peter Parker's life was derailed when he mutated into a strange human/spider hybrid, and he knows that's not the way things went down for him in other realities. Still, he's determined to forge a new path and make the best of it. Sometimes "the friends we made along the way" really is the greatest treasure anyone could ask for.

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (Peter Parker/Johnny Storm)

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay so this is more based in the comic-verse, but I pictured Tom Holland Spidey while reading it anyways. I don’t even ship Spideypool tbh but I got curious. I didn’t even watch the Deadpool movie or know anything about Deadpool (or the Fantastic Four, who feature prominently in this) but still... it’s SO. GOOD. More spidery Spider-Man isn’t a thing I knew I needed until this fic, and it honestly reads almost like a fantasy. The world-building is incredible and the fic also comes with great drawings to help you visualize this strange new Peter. (Warning though: There are sex scenes. I was kinda hesitant about whether or not I should rec this because of that, but honestly the fic is worth it. I don’t usually like to read fics with sex scenes, but the plot more than makes up for it.)

I Like Birds by chinashopbull (WIP... possibly abandoned?)

Summary: Peter has Asperger’s/ASD. Yes, of course he’s still Spider-Man. Deadpool tries to accommodate, with mixed results.

Some feeble plot happens eventually, blood gets on the walls, etc. I play fast and loose with canon but try to stay true to (what I perceive to be) the spirit of the characters. 

Relationship: Peter Parker/Wade Wilson

Rating: Mature

Notes: Okay, so this fic predates Homecoming so it’s definitely not about that Spidey (even though I picture Tom Holland anyways), the summary doesn’t do it justice, the way the fic portrays Tony Stark makes me sad, and it’s most likely abandoned because it hasn’t been updated since May 2017 (Edit: This totally updated after a whole year. It’s still going!!!)... but hear me out. This fic is worth the heartbreak of reading an abandoned fic. First of all: Autistic Peter!!!!! Written by someone who is autistic themselves so it’s very accurate!!!! I know I say this a lot but the plot is AMAZING. There’s an amazing side story about suicide bombers that’s really intriguing. I love the mystery element of this story so much, it reads as it’s own standalone work of fiction. Also, the slow burn is so slow that the Spideypool never happens, so if that’s not your thing, don’t let that stop you from reading this truly incredible fic. (Warning: A really, really graphic eye injury in one of the earlier chapters that’s pretty gruesome. )

---

IS THIS LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU?? If you read any of these fics KUDOS AND COMMENT because the authors deserve your love! Feel free to send me any recs too! You know what I like. ;) 

[telepathiciism-archive-blog]

xander and zoe for the ultimate ship meme

Ultimate Ship Meme. || Anonymous letter.

Ship: @glitchworthremembering (Xander) and this dork right here.

General:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - It’s very relative, but in my opinion, I’d love them to never leave each other *cries*

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Not quick at all. Even when we had a small amount of threads of them interacting before we sailed this ship, I think it took them a long while to acknowledge and say “Oh jeez, i’m in love with them.”

How was their first kiss? - Sweet and drunk as hell.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - Xander probably started the offer, but Zoe finished it lol.

Who is the best man/men? - Could you imagine Rhys and August though?

Who is the bride’s maid(s)? - *coughs*

Who did the most planning? - Both.

Who stressed the most? - Zoe, maybe? She gets stressed very easily.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Not fancy at all. I even think that it was just the two of them, instead of inviting people and trying to make it bigger. If they ever get married, it’d be like the sweetest and most intimate thing.Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Zoe’s parents lol

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - Maybe, none. I haven’t added this to my ‘about’ page yet, but Zoe’s mutation also implies her being infertile.

How many children will they adopt? - I think one would be perfect.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - None, probably because they’d adopt an older child.

Who is the stricter parent? - They’d both be kind of flexible, I think. But still equally protective.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Zoe lol. Just using telekinesis.

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Z O E

Who is the more loved parent? - They are both pretty and equally loved.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Both!!! Going together and making all the parents jealous lol.

Who cried the most at graduation? - Xander, and Zoe just tries to pretend she didn’t.

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Zoe sdlkfjd.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - They both cook together, and she teaches him stuff *cries*

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Xander, maybe?

Who does the grocery shopping? - Both?!?!?!?!!?

How often do they bake desserts? - Very, v e r y often.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - I’m not really sure. Zoe’s in this path of becoming a veggie, so maybe she’d try new stuff very often and I think there’s a balance between meat and salad for the two of them.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Okay but could you imagine Xander taking her out like that?

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Maybe none. Even when they go out sometimes, they’re more of the ‘stay-in’ kind of couples.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Xander whoops

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - Zoe pulls him out of bed and forces him to help her lol

Who is really against chores? - Maybe Xander, since allergies???

Who cleans up after the pets? - Do they even have pets?

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Xander… and Zoe

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Do they even have guests?

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Xander, probably. Zoe’s very prone to hiding stuff.

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Zoe takes like three hours to get ready, so there you have it.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Do they even have dogs?

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Very often, because it’s so much fun to decorate together *cries*

What are their goals for the relationship? - To endlessly support each other and help for the better. To be there, even when times are not the best.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Xander! Does Zoe even know about sleeping?

Who plays the most pranks? - Xander, because he’d try and fool around with Zoe while she’s reading lol.