#let's have empathy for how they must be feeling about all this backlash

[squorttle-pox]

Absolutely this. I've also added my thoughts below the cut

To clarify, I don't hate Steven or Shane or Ryan or anyone affiliated with Watcher. I still enjoy their content. I still love their wacky fun selves and I would pay the subscription if I could (of course, that we cannot pay it is the very nature of the problem).

I'm not full of rage or hatred, and I understand how difficult a strained financial situation can be (we're all/mostly adults here, right?). I do 100% blame them for this. But it doesn't ruin everything about them. They're people and people make mistakes, especially when under all the pressure that they are. It doesn't excuse the behaviour. It doesn't make anything better. But it means I'm not feeling ~violent/cruel/rude/nasty things~ towards them or anything.

What I am, is disappointed that they didn't properly think through this VERY Big VERY Important decision.

I am disappointed that they seem to have neglected to take into account who their main audience is (a bunch of mostly-young-adults who are about as far from rich and loaded and one can get).

I am disappointed that this is essentially the first we are hearing of this, that they have taken such a drastic move right away.

I wish they had been more transparent that they needed extra support. There is no shame in that, not when their fans adore them, and not when they're entrepreneur-ing this, and not ever. Life is hard, the economy is in shambles right now, struggle is inherent. T

I wish they took the time to fully consider the ramifications of this decision they've made.

I hope that they quickly understand the issues with this, frankly, godawful and infelicitous decision.

I hope that they are willing to apologize and propose some alternative solutions that will not be so detrimental to the fandom they are rEqUeStInG (see: forcing) this help from.

I hope that they won't double down out of fear or shame or defensiveness from the rightful backlash they are receiving. I hope they can be mature about this.

I hope that they remember that no matter what, we'll still support them as much as we can, but that what they're asking is impossible for many of us to accommodate.

I hope that all parties involved in this fiasco can be respectful and professional towards one another.

something about the current situation that feels so gross to me is the sudden vitriolic hatred towards steven lim??? yes, as the ceo he probably helped make the decision to start watcher tv. but before this whole dilemma, wasn't steven "super underappreciated" and hyped up constantly by the fandom??? weren't there hundreds of posts begging for more steven content??? wasn't there a lot of excitement about steven possibly getting his own show??? it just seems strange that people claimed to love him so much but are spewing some awful insults towards him now???

(note: this isn't talking about anyone criticizing steven or the company. this is talking about people blaming EXCLUSIVELY steven or excessively hate posting about him. critique and analysis are healthy ways to stimulate discussion and utilize critical thinking)

[undermine-the-instinct]

Now that Israel has cut off all fuel, electricity, food, and water to Gaza I wonder about the people who claim israel has a right to self defense. Can you imagine, it being so dark at night that the only thing you can see, whether you are under rumble or fleeing or hiding are the blinding flashes and the rumbles of bombs? Corpses, strewn and scattered, not knowing if its family or friend?

I'm not going to censor myself or try to ease people into the idea of the everyday lives of the people in Gaza and the west bank.

I wonder what those people think when Israel openly says they believe (and have proof) that Hamas is occupying the Al-shifa hospital, the biggest hospital in Gaza and only in partial function despite the bombs and constant influx of bodies and injured people, and only due to being partially solar powered. They have their justification now to bomb it, its their headquarters, right? A hospital housing over fifty thousand people? With that bullshit 'proof'?

I wonder what they think of letting in foreign aid for supplies, and waiting until a bakery has unloaded all their flour only to then bomb them.

What goes though people's minds when they support Israel? Are you both blind and death? Denouncing Israel is not antisemitism. Denouncing zionist is not antisemitic.

How about Israel literally making 'day in the life wartime edition' videos, or, mock palestines living in constant fear of bombing ON MULTIPLE FUCKING OCCASIONS or delighting in said bombing. Zionist see the backlash they get from this and delete their videos, which is why I can only ever find snippets and reposts, and that's good. Hold them accountable. Make them feel shame for the open genocide they uphold and adore.

The IDF plan to floud the the tunnel networks under Gaza with nerve gas. They are buying thousands of M16 rifles and plan to distribute them to civilian settlers of the west bank to hunt down Palestinians. This is all called self defense. I dont need to tell you how many people have died. The toll is over 7000 this month alone. If I must beg for your mercy and attention, over 300 have been children. That is a human life. Each and every one. A person with hopes and dreams and fears and the one desperate wish to stay alive and rebuild their homes. Failing that, to be remembered. Why do they have to plead for their humanity? Why must they plead for mercy and empathy?

But standing aside and watching and endorsing genocide makes you no better than a monster. You are the real 'human animal' if you think any of this is right or deserved.

[cyarsk52-20]

Megan Thee Stallion Opened Up About The Tory Lanez Shooting Case For ‘The Final Time’ In A Touching New Essay

Walker

April 18, 2023 7:15 AM PST

Megan Thee Stallion, as part of a cover story for Elle Magazine, shared a powerful new personal essay that finds her reflecting on the Tory Lanez assault trial. (He was found guilty last year following the 2020 incident.)

via: Rolling Stone

“I understand the public intrigue,” Megan continued, “but for the sake of my mental health, I don’t plan to keep reliving the most traumatic experience of my life over and over again. I’m choosing to change the narrative because I’m more than just my trauma.”

The wide-ranging essay opens with Megan’s declaration that, after reflecting on the events of the last three years, she no longer wants to call herself a victim but a survivor. “Not only did I survive being shot by someone I trusted and considered a close friend, but I overcame the public humiliation of having my name and reputation dragged through the mud by that individual for the entire world to see,” she said. 

The jokes, memes, conspiracy theories, and reputational attacks, Meg said, were tough to deal with, especially when some of her “peers in the music industry piled on.” She added, “Instead of condemning any form of violence against a woman, these individuals tried to justify my attacker’s actions.” 

Behind the scenes, Megan said, she “started falling into a depression,” even as she continued to release music and tour. Working on new music was difficult as Megan struggled to figure out what to rap about, and she’d often catch herself crying moments before having to take the stage at some public event. When Lanez was found guilty at the end of the last year, Meg said the verdict was “more than just vindication for me, it was a victory for every woman who has ever been shamed, dismissed, and blamed for a violent crime committed against them.”

She added: “Time after time, women are bullied with backlash for speaking out against their attackers, especially when they’re accusing someone who is famous and wealthy. They’re often accused of lying or attempting to make money from their trauma. From firsthand experience, I know why a lot of women don’t come forward. Any support and empathy that I received was drowned out by overwhelming doubt and criticism from so many others.” 

In the months since the verdict came in, Megan said she’s been “healing.” Acknowledging that the “physical and mental scars from this entire ordeal will always sting,” she said getting off social media, taking time for herself, praying, and spending time with close friends and her dogs, has helped her feel more at peace and prepared to resume her life. She also touched on how she’s learned to set stronger boundaries, whether it has to do with who she lets into her life, or “saying ‘no’ to protect my peace.”

Near the end of the essay, Megan also mentioned that she’s found her love of music again, writing, “I’m excited to get back into music, because I have been so transformed. I’m playing around with new songs and new sounds that I can’t wait for everyone to hear.” 

In a final note, the rapper said: “We can’t control what others think, especially when the lies are juicier than the truth. But as a society, we must create safer environments for women to come forward about violent behavior without fear of retaliation. We must provide stronger resources for women to recover from these tragedies physically and emotionally, without fear of judgment. We must do more than say her name. We must protect all women who have survived the unimaginable.” 

Megan’s essay comes a few weeks after Lanez filed a motion for a new trial in the shooting case, though a judge has yet to rule on the motion. Lanez was supposed to be sentenced sometime in April, though it appears that date may be further delayed as his new motion is considered.

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Sent from my iPhone

[theeccentricmrwinter]

maybe if you watched more cocomelon you'd have more empathy for people who go on anon. you're learning and growing but also you're being really toxic rn and i can't let that slide tbh

Hey there.

It appears you are mistaken about my anon policy.

There's a reason I leave it on. Several reasons, actually. Because I do care and accommodate those who want to use it for whatever reason.

However, if all you're gonna do is use the anonymous feature to send hate my way, I believe I deserve the right to call whoever is doing so a coward. Anon hate is not a new thing to me, or to this site. It's a big reason a lot of blogs have turned anon asks off, or just turned asks off altogether.

I, however, believe in practicing what I preach. The ability to take what you dish out. If I can throw insults at people, they can do the same to me, and it's the same the other way around.

So, anon, you must understand that, when I kindly leave my door open so that people may enter, and they choose to use this chance to barge in and yell insults at me because I disagreed with someone that isnt them on a very minor issue with an overall correct argument, why am I in the wrong for hurling insults back?

Is it because you don't like insults about anons in general? Because I make it clear that it's just hate anons that get this kind of treatment, because you should at least have the gall to show your face when you try to shoot me.

Is it how deep I rip into people? Because I find it only fair if they shoot first to hit back, and harder. Most certainly when they hide themselves under anonymity.

Or is it because these anons are your friends? That you somehow know them, despite them being anonymous?

Maybe it's the same reason I replied to that post in the first place, to defend someone who may have came off as brash and harsh, but hopefully meant well.

However, I quickly run out of patience when all good faith arguments have been thrown out the window for a goo barrage of "fuck yous" from people "banned for being based", or people who throw my point in my face and expect me to be mad about it.

Because you're right. Maybe, somehow, if Cocomelon is children's programming meant to instill long-lasting lessons of morality and various other things a child needs to learn, while also not being too condescending towards the viewers (as older audiences who may have forgotten what lessons these shows have to teach may not sit happily throigh them, and also it's not cool to condescend to children unnecessarily), than yeah, I have no choice but to agree.

However, I think my empathy levels for anon users are just right. Fully empathetic, unless you use that tool to try and hurt someone, in which you have lost all sympathy from me, because of my own internal policies that dictate who I deem as good and who I deem as bad.

But even ignoring my moral compass, if you seriously advocate for people to use anon to try and hurt others, and think my ripping into people who do this is wrong? I don't really want you around anyway.

The only reason I haven't ripped into you, dear anon, is that I try to take the best approach I can with things like this. Maybe, you mean this genuinely. Maybe you're a mutal who I care deeply about seeing on my dash. Maybe you're just someone who enjoys my reblogs. I value all above myself, that's for sure. So I want you to know, anon.

I don't try to hurt people who I deem as innocent. I try my best to take a positive approach when I can. In fact, usually, I don't do more than scroll and quuck-reblog posts.

So I hope you trust me when I say things like; I don't harbor any malice towards the OP of that one post everyone has issue with for some reason. I even agree with his main point, I just feel like if you're gonna dig into a very popular show, expecting backlash is reasonable. I made a comment that I figured was repeated already (which it was), and would be ignored, and the fact that it wasn't sucks. But I also made something that can result in backlash. And I received alright. But that's alright, because that's how getting in a fight works. I'm just left wondering why a bystander, who hopefully has good intentions, is objecting to the guys that are fighting online trying to find every aspect to make fun of their opponent.

I gotta cut this rant off somewhere, so here's where I leave it: If you're really serious about my inherent toxicity towards those who use anon to hide their face to try and hurt me, please message me so we can work this out if we're mutals and/or if you're brave enough, or keep sending anons, because i do respect privacy in delicate matters. I'll call ya tbh anon if ya choose that route. However, if this is just another person throwing words I've used in my face to try and make me mad, you have failed. I'm just disappointed in myself that I put so much good faith in you. But hopefully you meant well.

Til next time, tbh anon. Be seeing you,

Snow of the Cat Cafe System, AKA The Great Canadian Kbitty

[checkthreetimes]

Gunna's Career—What's Next After the YSL Case?

Gunna, one of the most popular and influential rappers of the past few years, has been facing a lot of backlash and criticism after his Alford plea agreement in the YSL case became public. The Atlanta rapper, who is best known for his collaborations with Young Thug, Lil Baby, and coining the term pushing P, pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of conspiracy to commit racketeering and received a five-year sentence, with four years suspended and one year commuted to time served. Instead of serving the five-year sentence, he only has to do 500 hours of community service and comply with some special conditions.

As part of his plea deal, he also made a statement in court that acknowledged his personal knowledge of YSL members committing crimes in furtherance of a gang and agreed that "YSL must end".

Many fans and fellow rappers have accused Gunna of being a snitch and betraying his friends and labelmates by cooperating with the authorities and implicating them in the ongoing YSL case, which involves 28 defendants facing various charges related to drug trafficking, money laundering, firearms possession, and murder. Some of Gunna's peers, such as Lil Durk and Lil Baby, have reportedly unfollowed him on social media and distanced themselves from him. Others have defended Gunna and argued that his statement was not a confession or a testimony, but rather a legal strategy to avoid a harsher sentence and that he is not obligated to risk his freedom or career for anyone else.

The fallout from this scandal could have serious implications for Gunna’s career as a rapper. Can he overcome this challenge and restore his reputation and influence in the rap scene? Or will he face rejection and isolation from his colleagues and supporters for supposedly violating the principles of trust and fidelity? Here are some potential outcomes:

He says sorry and tells his side of the story One option that Gunna could pursue to mend his image and bond with his admirers and partners is by making a public statement of apology and explanation for his plea deal. He could convey his sorrow and guilt for his role in the YSL case and state that he did not mean to hurt or expose anyone else. He could also stress his affection and appreciation for Young Thug and YSL and request their pardon and empathy. This could possibly calm some of his detractors and fans who feel let down or deceived by him and demonstrate that he is ready to face the consequences and own up to his mistakes.

He ignores the backlash and continues to make music Another option that Gunna could pursue is to ignore the negative reactions and opinions about his plea deal and focus on his music career. He could release new songs or projects that showcase his talent and creativity and prove that he is still one of the best rappers in the game. He could also collaborate with other artists who are not affected by or involved in the YSL case or who are supportive of him regardless of his legal situation. This could help him maintain his fan base and relevance in the industry and demonstrate that he is not bothered or intimidated by the controversy. He becomes ostracized and isolated A more pessimistic outcome that Gunna could face is that other artists who are angry or suspicious of him because of his plea deal choose not to be involved with him at all. He could also face legal challenges or lawsuits from other defendants or their lawyers who claim that he violated their rights or damaged their cases by making statements against them in court. This could hurt his career prospects and income significantly and make it harder for him to recover from this ordeal.

At any rate, Gunna's career fate depends largely on how he handles this situation and how the public perceives him moving forward. He has already shown that he is a talented and successful rapper who has made a huge impact on the culture and the sound of hip-hop. Whether he can overcome this obstacle and restore his image and reputation remains to be seen.

[frenchiefan]

The Great Izzy Hands Divide

Hello all. I come to you a Izzy neutral, huge TV enjoyer with media studies background, here to try and answer the fandom’s polarizing, puzzling, and at time painful question of what is this Izzy divide? And how do we move on from it so we can all have fun, and everyone can feel safe. 

And not get viscous over whatever happens in season 2. 

As it’s clear-I’m writing anonymously because the tension has gotten-that intense and I’m earnestly afraid of backlash from both sides. That’s not to say EVERYONE in the OFMD twitter/tumblr fandom is part of this polarizing Izzy divide, but the discussions, discourses, pain, and attacks, have become so loud I believe most people-even a neutral person like myself have heard about them/seen them on our twitters/tumblrs. I love this show so much and have been in the online community since it aired in March, so a lot of this is based on my observations-and from what friends on each side have told me. For the sake of protecting everyone who has received online hate or are just trying to have fun in fandom-I won’t be listing any usernames, or quoting specific tweets/blog posts, but if you’re doubtful about any of my talking points you need only check Izzy tags on tumblr/twitter. 

My hope in this meta is to unpack what’s going on, where are these sides coming from, what do they seem to believe, and how can we collectively move forward no matter how we feel about Izzy to just have fun with an extremely inclusive, progressive, funny, romantic, and queer show that’s obviously meant very much to many of us in terms of representation. My biggest goal is making folks feel able to have fun in fandom spaces-and everyone to be a little kinder. 

So to start off-let me do my best to summarize what is going on for those who aren’t active on twitter/tumblr or are so deep on one side/in a corner they don’t see much discourse: 

In some pockets of the fandom there is a very heated schism over the character of Izzy Hands that goes beyond just ‘folks who dislike Izzy as a character’ and ‘folks who like Izzy as a character’. 

There are those who proclaim his character is inherently horrible and irredeemable and anyone who is a big fan of him must by proxy, be a horrible person too. For the sake of this analysis these are the “Izzy-haters”. The opposite side appears to be a group who really adore Izzy, and see him as a much softer and sympathetic antagonist/anti-hero and believe those who hate Izzy lack empathy or are very puritanical and are misreading his character. I’ll refer to them as the “Izzy-apologists”. 

So how did this come about? And why’s that worth writing meta on? Don’t all fandoms have character and ships wars and so on? Absolutely. But it’s gotten to the point some people are getting constantly harassed and doxed or people are afraid to even share thoughts or fan-made content about the show without fear of retaliation or being dragged into a divide. So where does this fall in the context of fandom? 

Whenever a character becomes a fan favorite, some of their fans look for ways to justify their actions, and/or ship them with numerous people. This happens in all fandoms. Look at Harry Potter (cringe I know, absolutely fuck JK Rowling, but I’m assuming it’s popular enough you all know the reference I will make here), back in its hay-day one of the most popular ships was with Harry and his constant bully/rival Draco-because Draco became such a fandom darling. This was called ‘slash’ shipping, to purposefully ship two characters together who were enemies/rivals/at odds in the media and it has remained very common in all fandoms. 

It’s not a bizarre phenomena for people to relate/find an antagonist sexy and want to put them in situations, especially if they get exciting romantic/sexual tension out of it. People can like villains/antagonists for many reasons: maybe it’s their confidence, their camp, their backstory is complex, or something as simple as their design is sexy. It’s not bizarre either, for fandom to develop characters with little to no backstory or fill in parts of their backstory that ‘fanon’ (fan content considered canon amongst a fandom) becomes so big it’s challenged between fans if someone rejects it-even if it has no canonical basis in the media itself. 

So Izzy fans (I say fans not apologists yet) began doing so, writing Izzy fic, making Izzy art, making Izzy/Ed backstories, so on and so forth. Typical fandom behavior. However as is also typical fandom behavior-some people don’t enjoy seeing some of those slash pairings, when the canonical interactions between those characters involved pain. So certain fans began making it clear they didn’t want to see it/disliked it. Others pointed out some Ed characterization in certain pieces of content could be slightly problematic in terms of racial stereotypes if it involved making Ed as consistently violent toward Izzy after canon implied Ed only resorted to violence toward him for having his life threatened. And again, as usual in fandom, a few overzealous folks can really stir the pot and make it worse for everyone. 

From what I observed: a few key ‘Izzy-haters’ popped up and began making the sweeping generalization that all big “Izzy fans” were racists and white, for liking Izzy in any capacity after he hurt his POC boss Ed. Some of those folks were big on twitter, and POC themselves, so their voices reached far-and well-lots of people wanting to be sure they didn’t get called racists themselves or accidently support something racist quickly joined in on these call-outs and the mounting generalizations regarding any sort of sympathetic Izzy content that diverged from canon. This generalizations became about the fans of Izzy themselves than just Izzy. 

Logically, for the Izzy fans who weren’t going to be shamed into dropping their favorite character, this led to them becoming very defensive of Izzy to defend themselves. Arguments came up that Izzy was actually harmless, Stede was just as bad as Izzy, or the other characters’ actions against Izzy were far worse and the show’s framing was wrong to cast him as ‘the worst’, ‘Izzy is fictional and it doesn’t matter-the show is itself is messily written so is anyone to criticize Izzy’. These folks became “Izzy-apologists”, who instead of just being fans of Izzy-would only be fans of Izzy if they could prove he was unproblematic. 

Things escalated and escalated with people getting intense on each side. An Izzy-apologist made a rape joke that went a mini-viral about wishing sexual assault on all people who hate Izzy. Some POC felt uncomfortable staying in fandom or going through main tags from some of the stereotyping HCs/content around characters of color shipped with Izzy. It bears noting though, the most extreme harm appears to have been done toward the Izzy fans group. There was an instance where doxing was attempted and potentially succeeded against an Izzy fan, with a bunch of their closest followers being threatened as well, leading a large major of Izzy fans  on twitter to become especially anxious, and turn even the most neutral person, or mild Izzy fan, into a stern Izzy-apologist out of fear that anyone who aligned themselves with “Izzy-haters” would commit the same kind of horrifyingly harmful behavior that could affect peoples’ off-line lives. And that if they couldn’t prove Izzy was actually a harmless character-they were in danger for openly liking him. 

So that leads us to our current state of affairs. Some Izzy-haters proudly proclaim their disdain for Izzy and his big fans, occasionally getting into arguments with apologists over how much Izzy is at fault vs Ed, or dismissing anyone who likes Izzy in any capacity as racist. Any POC who claim to be an Izzy-fan are often erased or accused of race-faking or internalized racism. People who seem to support Izzy ships/art/fics with likes/retweets that are sympathetic toward him are characterized as apologists or racist as well. Izzy-apologists or stans get hateful anons on tumblr or mean quote retweets on twitter. Pretty hostile. 

On the flip side, some Izzy-apologists have taken to calling anyone who doesn’t outright love Izzy, or mainly engage in canon ship content as “Gentle-beardies” and speak about them in mocking, referring to them as boring, mean people who lack sympathy for Izzy because he’s an underdog or an old man who isn’t attractive enough to get sympathy. There’s a belief from some that if you profess any dislike toward Izzy you’re probably an asshole who’s ready to dox everybody who does like Izzy. Many POC are often shut-down or ignored-or told they don’t understand history/media studies when they point out issues with certain Izzy HCs/fics. People who dislike Izzy or pointed out in his laws in good faith have also received hateful anons or mocking quote retweets. Again-pretty hostile.

And that leaves…a lot of tense neutral people in the middle. Anyone who ranges from mildly enjoying Izzy to disliking him without making it personal. Folks who would happily write fics or do art or funny HCs about their thoughts on Izzy with others but are afraid to get lumped in any category. People trying to appease sets of friends who will react very strongly if you seem to lean to one side of the Izzy divide that isn’t their own. 

So I’d like to try…and see if I can try and break down where these two groups' beliefs are spanning from-and see if there is someone who is actually ‘right’ in all this. I think I recently cracked the code on why no matter how many debates break out on twitter or tumblr over Izzy there never seems to be any progress to peace-and it is because the two sides are viewing Izzy in extremely different lenses. 

Let’s start with the Izzy-haters. From what I’ve gathered, they’re of the belief Izzy is an extremely racist, homophobic, irredeemable bigoted character, a la a neo-nazi biker at the bar who’s bad side suddenly comes out once he gets a chance to show his power. Therefore anyone who is somehow seeing Izzy as sympathetic or redeemable is clearly harboring those internalized racisms or homophobias themselves. This lens sees Izzy as the ultimate villain of the show, it views Izzy in the frame of history in the show’s time period, as a white man with the power of whiteness in the 1700s, which he uses to bully others and eventually tear down Ed mentally. 

Their evidence usually comes from the following talking points: 

Izzy’s treatment of crew of color: consistently bullies and talks down Fang and Ivan, and once in power uses it to have crew of color doing hard labor. 

Izzy hates gay people: Izzy mocks Lucius when he catches him with Pete and clearly targets him for his overt feminine labeled qualities of queerness-similar to his distain for Stede and his lack of more traditional masculinity. 

Izzy sees Ed as an animal: Izzy sees Ed as an object and only wants to see him living out a stereotype of a violent POC, and Izzy sells out Ed to the English in episode 8 just to have control of him afterwards. 

Izzy-apologists look at Izzy in a nearly opposite light. Izzy is not so much a villain, as just a misunderstood antagonist-or even anti-hero/prickly old man who is harmless at the end of the day. He’s short, he has stomach issues, he doesn’t have that much power. He’s relatable because he’s trying his best at his job and his boss doesn’t appreciate him. This lens looks at Izzy as a queer, lower socio-economic, character without much power in the story he’s in, just trying his best to stay alive in the harsh world of piracy. 

The Izzy-apologists often answer the above Izzy-Hater points with these arguments: 

Izzy’s actions are not from racism & do not cause that kind of harm: Izzy is frustrated no one is working as hard as him on the ship since Ed is busy playing dress up, Fang is off getting sketched, and Izzy is just trying to survive, hence why he’s so harsh to everyone, and tired of being underappreciated. Race has nothing to do with it. 

Izzy is gay himself and therefore can’t be homophobic: Izzy is clearly in love with Ed, as evidenced from interviews with Con O’neill & David Jenkins, and Izzy is just annoyed with Lucius and Stede being rich and/or is jealous of them and their freedom to be be openly queer.

Izzy is in love with Ed and served him for years: Izzy would not work for a man of color for years and try to protect him if he was racist. Izzy thought Calico Jack would get Ed out of the English raid before they showed up and only ‘took custody’ of Ed to save his life after things back-fired. 

Both of these sides can seem pretty persuasive on their own without any context. And when the two groups are looking at Izzy in such vastly different lenses it makes sense why neither is ever going to agree or compromise on their viewpoints. It would be like a set of people arguing about the abilities of a rabbit-but one side thinks they’re talking about “Bugs Bunny” from “Looney Toons” and the other thinks they’re talking about “Thumper” from Disney’s “Bambi”. If one side goes “Well the rabbit loves wearing dresses” the other is going to call them outright liar-since they think they’re talking about an entirely different rabbit. They are very rarely going to reach a compromise because they are coming from two vastly different perceptions of what a rabbit is-just like these two sides are coming from two vastly different perceptions of who Izzy is and what he does. 

So is either side “right”? As a neutral person, with friends on each side, here’s my perspective. 

Let’s get to the elephant in the room. Is Izzy racist/homophobic or just misunderstood? That is the question. Because most progressive queer fans of a progressive queer show, would be very uncomfortable if they were stanning a character who was akin to “Hans Landa”( the Nazi from Inglorious Basterds or “Calvin Candie”(the plantation owner from “Django Unchianed). But because a few Izzy-Hater people very vocally read Izzy as akin to a Hans or Calvin, Izzy-apologists in the last few months went into full gear doing their best to assert-Izzy lacks any power and carries identities that would make it impossible for him to be like any of those characters, with metas, HCs, fics, and so on. 

I think the real answer comes from a misunderstanding of racism on both sides. A lot of people-especially white people, often think of racism in all or nothing terms. You’re either card-carrying Neo-Nazi member of the KKK, who loves Brexit to get rid of immigrants, or a monthly supporter of the ACLU, NAACP, and all other progressive racial rights groups who have never said or done a racist thing in their life. 

The reality is unfortunately and fortunately much more nuanced. Anti-racism studies tell us most of Western society itself was built on foundations of white supremacy and heteropatriarchy. Most countries of the world were colonized at some point, and had racist laws and processes built into their civilization. So small and big acts of racism exist every single day. Many people will do or say racist or homophobic things toward one group or another without ever intentionally trying to hurt anyone-but still have horrible impact-or an impact that adds to a smaller effect but still long term process of alienating others which becomes harmful. 

So what does that mean? It means people can often be racist or homophobic, or sexist or abliest, without ever consciously choosing to. Now it’s important to point out-in a good portion of those situations the harm they cause won’t be as intense as say, someone who is consciously and deliberately bigoted trying to get the outcome of causing pain to a group they have prejudice toward. The constant messages and systems in our society can contribute to something called “internalized bias” where society conditions a person to think about a certain group one way. In example-none of us have ever met a real elf, but so much media containing elves paints them as elegant, woodland, intelligent, and snobbish-that we would describe an elf like that if asked and expect them to behave like so. Well the same thing can happen when we see and hear stories of certain races stereotyped certain ways-we just assume certain certain behaviors are part of their defaults based on the stories we’ve been told-which can lead to far more dangerous situations if a group is being stereotyped as criminal or dangerous. 

But that doesn’t mean those people who are causing the smaller acts of unintentional harm, or unconsciously causing harm, should be entirely dismissed as innocent by naivete, and therefore allowed to go on. If a child breaks a window with a football you wouldn’t arrest them for deliberate vandalism-but nor would you simply ignore the matter without having a conversation about how to use footballs in the future to avoid breaking other peoples’ windows. 

Okay, what does this have to do with Izzy? Or Our Flag Means Death? If you check the meta tags of tumblr or articles written on the show, the queue is long of people who have analyzed and pointed out how well the show addresses race, racism, and so on in the show. It’s not a race blind show unlike some media adaptations (Like Bridgerton) where the different power structures of race in the modern day or the show’s time period, is never acknowledged. Episode five is extremely explicit in its addresses of race from how my fav Frenchie and Oluwande are treated. It addresses the inequalities of the 1700s while updating our protagonists enough from their asshole historical counterparts, that the show becomes and inclusive progressive story where racists are punished for their behavior. The show understands the nuance of racism and homophobia though, showcasing sometimes those unconscious moments can come up even from characters who mean well. 

We actually see a good number of unconscious acts of racism in the show-like when Stede and Pete assume the Native Nation ate the hostages when they’re captured in Episode two, or when Stede stays awkwardly silent to Badminton’s comments about his “colorful crew” in Episode one. It’s obvious the most egregious racists though in the show are meant to be the English navy, from the comments to their innuendos, to their positioning as the most disruptive villains in the show. If there are the equivalent to modern day hate-groups or bigots in the show-it’s them based on textual canon evidence alone. 

By that assertion-we know Izzy is not part of the navy. He is a pirate, he works with crew of color, and is in the show until episode 9 following most of Ed’s, a man of color, orders. Additionally, Izzy would not have sought the advice of Spanish Jackie, a black woman, if he were truly so bigoted he could not stand being below/taking help or orders from people of color. Therefore from what we’ve seen, it’s not really fair of Izzy-haters to assert Izzy is an absolute to his core violent bigot, and anyone who manages to love him after watching the show must be one too

To Izzy-haters’ points about Izzy mistreating the crew of color-it’s worth noting he’s just as awful to Pete and Lucius who are white in the show too. Izzy is clearly a grump who doesn’t have much affection or respect for anyone-unless they’re high ranking above him and proved their worth as a pirate like Ed or Jackie. 

As for Izzy being overtly homophobic-as in hating any form of homosexuality or same-sex relations, that doesn’t entirely track with him inviting Calico Jack to help when its made clear to Ed and Jack have had a previous sexual relationship. Granted-maybe Izzy wasn’t around or didn’t know that, but it bears thinking he probably knew Jack wasn’t entirely heterosexual, or Ed if he’s had previous relationships with men and Izzy continued working for him. 

To the final point of Izzy-haters, being that Izzy only sees Ed as an animal-it’s clear Izzy respected Ed’s reputation as Blackbeard and did care enough about him to send Calico Jack to try and save him before the English attacked, and make sure the English couldn’t execute him when it turned out he was there. Izzy says it himself in the text he’s “honored” to work for the “legendary Blackbeard” so he has some respect for that figure and humbleness toward it as well. There is some subtext to be gleamed from how Izzy smiles when Ed chokes him or even appears delighted after he realizes Ed has forced him to eat his toe, that he does harbor some sort of romantic or sexual feelings toward Ed-at least when he’s in his Blackbeard persona. 

With all that said, I think canon evidence of season one makes it clear to us Izzy is no Hans or Calvin, and therefore his fans are not stanning or attracted the show’s equivalent of a Neo-Nazi. It’s extremely unfair to decide anyone who is a fan of Izzy is racist, because the comedy of the show and nuance to his character make it clear that’s not his sole role in the show. So liking Izzy in and of itself is not an issue, and should not be treated as a crime or generalized that only “white” or “XYZ” people like Izzy. And it definitely should not lead to people jumping to the conclusion someone who likes Izzy is harboring some deep hatred themselves, or is anyway worthy of doxing/stalking/etc. 

So is that it-insanely long meta over-the Izzy-apologists are right? Well-as I said this is nuanced-as is the concept of racism and bigotry. While the text shows us Izzy is not to the level of bigot of a Neo-Nazi, I do think the text makes it clear to us Izzy is the antagonist for a reason and not a misunderstood little guy. 

A lot of Izzy-fan content delves into the idea of the hidden world of Izzy. There are popular posts out there that say things like “Say what you want about Izzy but if a child handed him a toy phone he would answer it” although we never see him interact with children in the show. There are lots of HCs about his backstory, many certain Izzy must come from a poor, working class background due to Oluwande’s comment that “most pirates don’t choose this lifestyle”. There’s especially a lot of fan content generated around Izzy’s subtextual and interview commented on queerness.  

Izzy is shipped with almost every male character in the show, especially with Ed and Stede or sometimes both at once. There are tons of metas and fics about Izzy’s repressed homosexuality and the shame and struggle he carries trying to be masucline in the rough world of piracy. Izzy being a trans man is an extremely popular headcanon too, to the point polls and threads and blog posts have been made about it. Some users have remarked they see Izzy as “inherently” trans, because of how much of an outsider he seems to them, referring to the fact he is shorter, teased, and seems unable to have the man of his desires, Ed. 

It’s clear Izzy-apologists see Izzy from this lens. A queer man, who is teased, overlooked, and unable to get the things he has worked so hard for and truly desires. He is not some swaggering Chris Evans pretty-boy, he is a small, easily flustered man-and he earns their sympathy and at times empathy. In comparison to Ed and Stede who are taller, and seem to be getting what they want from the narrative, Izzy is an underdog. He doesn’t have Ed’s charm and looks or Stede’s money and influence over Ed. So Izzy apologists will often assert Stede is a far worse character than Izzy-a rich queer man invading spaces and who callously ignores Ed’s feelings abandoning him on the beach. Izzy’s pushing of Ed to be Blackbeard is only so Ed will survive in the world of piracy, as much as it hurt Ed. 

For some Izzy-apologists Ed’s cutting off his Izzy’s toe was absolutely abusive and not a justified retaliation for the threat on his life, and shift the entire focus of the narrative that Izzy has been Ed’s constant victim-a trope that appears in many Izzy-apologist centered fics. Izzy is an “attack dog” or “sex toy” or “butler” to Ed-just tirelessly working for Ed all these years, out of desperation he’ll someday appreciate him. Some even are certain Izzy is Ed’s oldest friend. And the cruelest thing is Izzy is completely overlooked when an incompetent richer, and more effortlessly masculine man shows up and steals Ed’s heart. 

This viewpoint seems to be why Izzy-apologists to dismiss any accusations of racism or homophobia in fics or HCs, and label themselves the ‘fun’ part of the fandom, recounting fans of canon couples as dull and unimaginative or unable to empathize with the struggle of someone as marginalized as Izzy. 

The thing is, Izzy is not as marginalized in the canonical text as this popular fanon has made him out to be. As far as we know, canonically, Izzy is a cis white man, who has gained the benefits of it in the pirate world of OFMD. There’s nothing in the text to indicate he is poor or struggling, or specifically comes from an impoverished background. One could equally argue he came from a naval background hence his sense of his discipline like many historical pirates just as easily -as there just as little evidence. His first introduction is intimidating and held up as a contrast from Stede’s bumbling, that Izzy is the kind of ideal, masculine, pirate who commands respect. He nearly slices Stede apart in sword play until Oluwande and Pete assist in distracting Fang and Ivan. 

In Izzy’s next appearance he commands respect in Spanish Jackie’s bar, with just his name getting Jackie to pause in her actions after she’s been shown to take no shit from anyone else present in the scene. It’s an entire point of episode three Izzy is insanely frustrated by Stede because he is the first person to best Izzy at stealing hostages in a long time-which is also noted as a surprising thing by Ed. Izzy is not a powerless little guy, he is second in command on the most powerful pirate’s ship. Within the show’s context he is a picture of ideal masculinity that pirates would strive for, because in the world of OFMD there no Marvel-esque Chris Evanses. No male character with a six pack and chiseled jaw. They cast handsome Con O’Neill for a reason-who has earned the admiration for his looks and attractiveness from other cast members like Nathan Foad (Lucius) and Vico Ortiz (Jim). So yes Izzy does get more respect than someone like Lucius or Stede off the revenge, hence at least one of the reasons he's baffled by the revenge itself. And it could be a multitude of reasons Izzy bullies Lucius and Stede-maybe it is internalized homophobia, jealousy of their open flamboyancy or past wealth, or maybe he just finds them annoying in general. In the end why he does it can be debated forever, but it's clear he does do it, because he is an antagonist in season 1. 

As for Izzy’s loyalty or submissiveness to Ed-this is also contradicted by canon. Izzy disobeys Ed-multiple times. He doesn’t tell Stede “Blackbeard” wants to speak to him in episode two-and ignores Ed’s order to not duel Stede in episode six. Izzy tells Ed point blank in episode four he was honored to work for the “legendary blackbeard” which is the only reason he tolerated Ed’s changing moods-which surmises Izzy only knew Ed after he became Blackbeard, not as a long loyal childhood friend. Izzy is ready to leave the moment he thinks Ed has officially become an embarrassment and lost his mind in episode four, until Ed offers him the chance to become the new captain once he disappears after using Stede to fake his death. Which Izzy excitedly agrees to, delighted to see Ed’s ruthless side back again and not at all sad about the idea Ed will leave. Lastly, Izzy’s taunting of Ed in episode ten and calling him a ‘namby-pampy’ does not appear for the benefit of Ed’s survival, because he did not take this step when Ed was most vulnerable crying in a blanket fort. He only took this step when Ed decides he no longer wants to be Blackbeard, which means Izzy looses out a chance to have status by being associated with the most powerful pirate.

And as for Izzy’s queerness, yes there is a lot of subtext and interviews which strongly indicate Izzy is not heterosexual, but that doesn’t mean queer individuals are incapable of perpetuating homophobia themselves. Even within the Queer community there’s plenty of gate-keeping that happens amongst queers, and even if we decide Izzy himself is gay and in love with Ed in his own way, it doen’t diminish he clearly has a distinct idea of how queer men should carry themselves, with a distain for those who behave overtly classified feminine such as Lucius, or Stede (Or Ed in episode ten-hence the specific insult of “pining in a silk robe” toward him from Izzy). 

So no, Izzy is not a misunderstood, oppressed figure in the show with a secret heart of gold. He is the antagonist very much so, and painting Izzy’s behavior as softer or justified by increasing the violence of Ed or ignoring the context, is something that is not just harmful to POC fans, but to those who consume fic and internalize those stereotypes getting put forth. Whether Izzy’s harm to Ed is because he selfishly needed him to be Blackbeard, or he had an internalized bias, or maybe he really in some backwards way wanted to ‘help’ Ed-it’s not insane that some fans and especially POC fans are going to notice the dynamic of race in these interactions-and how Ed being pressured into remaining a hyper violent persona by a white man is impossible to see without some element of internalized bias in place on Izzy’s part. Izzy is the antagonist for a reason, and people are allowed to find fault and discuss the villainous elements of him, without folks acting like it is a personal attack. 

So what’s the point of all this? Am I trying to police Izzy-apologists they have to drop all their HCs and only ship canon content? Saying dark content with slash ships has no place in fandom at all? Not at all. Non-canonical ships have existed forever in fandom-so have villain/antagonist love. So has kinky, dark, and dubious content. Ship whoever you want to ship, and have whatever favorite character you want. Everyone deserves to have fun playing characters in fandom space without fear of being doxed or sent threats if they do so in a way another fan dislikes. Fandom content does have to be restricted to keeping things canonical and have the fun of canon is making AUs or putting characters in situations they'll never be in during canon. 

There’s nothing weird about liking or relating to a villain. Everyone loved Walter White during “Breaking Bad”’s hay day (hence why the show was so big) but we didn’t see a rise in folks running off and cooking meth-and even today as I see the queer community reclaiming Jessie and Walt from the show-I don’t see folks accusing them of planning to go cook meth. Izzy fans can love Izzy and see parts of themselves in him without implying they would treat Ed the way Izzy did or share every single belief Izzy has. Just like people can relate to Walt for being powerless and angry in his life-WITHOUT resorting to cooking meth and becoming  drug lords-Izzy fans can relate to Izzy from feeling overlooked at work without meaning they’re going to bully their friends into behaving a certain way. Izzy fans should not feel forced to become Izzy-apologists and well apologize for liking Izzy, or feel obligated to soften his edges. 

But Izzy-apologists should be mindful of tagging their content that especially veers into slash-and also be open to hearing if the content they’re putting in main tags or sharing amongst themselves is leaning into harmful real-world stereotypes which can perpetuate peoples’ biases. 

So with that said-I want to assert Izzy is the antagonist yes-but he’s not the Neo-Nazi from an Indiana Jones movie. Fanon Izzy has captured both sides of the Izzy debate some have forgotten what a real rabbit (the real Izzy) is like, and rewatching the show may help lift some of those lenses for folks. As of now Izzy stands at a crossroads-season 2 may push him into redemption or increase the stakes of his antagonism. 

If Izzy does end up with a redemption arc and Izzy-haters need to be prepared to trust Jenkins and his writing team, that they do not loose faith in OFMD because it doesn’t go the way they hoped. 

And with that said-I urge the Izzy-apologists the same, if Izzy doesn’t get a redemption arc and becomes worse, or is written out-it isn’t from fan pressure or a sudden 180 on the writer’s part. It’s part of David Jenkins’ vision which he’s stated he knew from the start of the story. 

So what’s the consensus, where do we go from here? Here’s my suggestion based on the observations listed above: 

Izzy-haters: Please recognize Izzy is more nuanced than you think, and even if season 2 puts him further him down his villain path, let Izzy fans exist in peace. You can block them, or mute them, or just ignore them. Unless they’re threatening folks if you can’t handle them enjoying Izzy in any capacity, you need to just let them be because it is just fiction and there are many many ways to enjoy a story or have fun with it. There are plenty of POC who like Izzy and and ALL of his fans do not deserve to be called names or accused of racism just for simply liking Izzy. Real people should not be getting over fictional character’s rights. 

Izzy-apologists: Please recognize Izzy is the antagonist for a reason, and people in good faith commenting on it is not an attack on you personally even if some Izzy-haters made you think so. Loving Izzy should not involve making the rest of characters, especially those of color, into harsher, crueler versions of themselves to make Izzy’s actions pale in comparison. If you can’t enjoy him without doing so, then please keep that especially dark content out of the main tags so people aren’t subject to racial or queer stereotypes that can be harmful. Real people should not be getting over a fictional character’s rights. 

All of us: can take things in better faith, be more patient, learn to block & mute people if we stumble into their territory and they aren’t forcing their version of things down our throats. If we really do see content we think is going to hurt other people-we should address people privately in good faith assuming it was an accident and have a discussion about it. There is no reason any person should be sent anon hate or doxed over fictional characters. And if we start feeling overwhelmed-take a step back and breathe. Remember fandom should be fun. 

And we should all remember-we shouldn’t be making sweeping generalizations about people or name-calling based on their favorite characters. 

If you read any of this about the actions of “Izzy-haters” or “Izzy-apologists” and realized you might’ve contributed to some of their more toxic actions and perhaps I’ve persuaded you to reconsider-posting an open tweet or tumblr post of peace would be a nice step forward. “Sorry I called all Izzy fans toxic moving forward I realize that was unfair I won’t do it again” or “Sorry I said anyone who dislikes Izzy is prude and unempathetic I realize that was unfair and I won’t do it again”. 

Well thanks for getting this far with me folks. I appreciate you taking the time to read this, I know it was a long one. My main goal is just that we all feel at peace to like or dislike Izzy as much we naturally do-without fear of any sort of retaliation or having our personhood labeled over it. As someone with friends on both sides-we’re honestly missing out on great times in fandom if we let our perception on one character divide us so violently or make us cruel to one another. Fandom should be fun-and if this helps even one person on either of these split fractures be a little kinder or calmer, I’ll be so cheery.

-Cheers, Frenchie’s most devoted fan.  

TL;DR

Izzy is not a raging racist bigot, but that does not mean he’s pure and free of all wrong-doing or potential bias toward some characters. 

Liking Izzy or relating to him does not mean that person BEHAVES like Izzy or would do the same things he does. 

Do not refer to Izzy fans with generalized statements or accusations stating anyone who likes him must be a certain way.

Do not refer to Other character fans with generalized statements or accusations stating anyone who likes them must be a certain way.

A person is allowed to like Izzy without having to justify his actions. 

We are allowed to disagree on how we characterize or see certain characters without making it personal.

People are allowed and it is normal to make fan content that diverges from canon.

Other characters should not be turned into racial or queer stereotypes to soften Izzy’s actions-and if that’s the only way you can enjoy him, keep it out of the main tags. 

No one should EVER be doxxed or put in danger offline over their opinions on Izzy or any fictional character. 

Learn to just mute and block people whose opinions you hate. Fandom should be fun. Real people should not be getting over fictional character’s rights.

[palaugranetes]

🔵BLAUGRANETS🔴

22 OCTOBER 2020

Riqui: Well I guess there is no other choice than doing this..

Pedri: Do what?

Riqui Added Arnau

Riqui: Well we have another one here. At this rate, we might as well just include the whole squad. BUT Welcome to this adult free mess bro!

Iñaki: 💙❤💙❤💙❤

Carlitos: Benvingut nanu!

Ronald: MANITO!!!!

Ronald: Look at you using those braincells @Riqui

Riqui: Nothing new

Ansu: BRO!!!! @Arnau 💙❤

Arnau: What even is this?

Frenkie: Adult Free Space.

Frenkie: WELCOME!! ❤💙

Arnau: Why is this even?

Francisco: Well I really am not quite sure of that yet.. But welcome!!!

Carlitos: This exists because we are sick and tired of the grown-ups.

Arnau: Who are the grown-ups? Aren't we all technically grown-ups?

Arnau: Well beside Ansu and Pedri.

Ansu: BOY DO NOT.

JC: 😂😂😂😂😂

Dembz: 😂😂😂😂😂

Ansu: 😒😒😒

JC:"Dembz: 😂😂😂😂😂"

Dembz: 🤜🏿

Ansu: I hate both of you so much.

Frenkie: It's only a week.. Just hang in there🤭🤭

Ansu: 😒😒

Pedri: 🙄🙄🙄

23 OCTOBER 2020

Carlitos: Anyways.. What I meant is that we are sick and tired of the ones in charge, their incompetence and their stupidity.

Riqui: Here here 🍻

Ronald: Thought popcorn was your TM

Riqui: 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Riqui: Happy Now?

Ronald: Elated!

Arnau: Ahhh I get it now. I see your point.

Arnau: So how long has this been going on?

Pedri: Like a month or so

Francisco: We still don't know what is happening here most of the times

Sergiño: Hey dude!! Another newbie here!! Welcome @Arnau

Arnau: 🤗🤗🤗

Ansu: What we do know is that El Clasico is tomorrow and I am about to jump out of my skin!

Riqui: I mean...

Carlitos: What do you guys think?

JC: Well what version of FCB is going to show up.. It depends on that.

Arnau: I really cannot sit through another Getafe type match... there aren't enough hugs in the world.

Iñaki: I feel ya bro.. pure torture.

Ronald: Look we tried..

Riqui: No Ronald.. You did.

Carlitos: And now that Jordi is back .. Y'all need to try harder.

Carlitos: I mean I love the guy but he needs to remember how to football.

Riqui: You say y'all as if any of us not named Frenkie Ansu and Sergiño is going to start.. Don't drag all of us into that mess..

Ansu: 🙄🙄

Carlitos: Oh no no Nanu I am happy for you.

Riqui: We'd be dead were it not for you kiddo.

Sergiño: I am just glad I'll be back to the right flank tbh

Sergiño: Like I'll play wherever I'm asked but...

Pedri: Exactly.. Imagine me playing on the left.. I'll do it sure of course, I'll try my best but it is not my favorite.

Francisco: Well I think it's natural.

Riqui: Ever since Antoine spoke he has been benched 🤭

Carlitos: Are we sure that is the only reason?

Riqui: Jeez

Dembz: 😐😐😐😐

Carlitos: Sorry.. But I only say this because I know what he can do..

Dembz: I guess we are all rusty...

Riqui: I wouldn't know.. I've played all of 10 minutes..

Carlitos: 🙄

JC: Well y'all better not make me watch for nothing.

Riqui: Again.. Can't help you there bro.

JC: WHOEVER IT IS. DO NOT.

Riqui: Sometimes I wish Puyi is here just to like make them focus.

Carlitos: Remember when he yelled at Geri? 😂😂

Riqui: Which time 😂😂

Carlitos: All of them 😂

Ansu: OMG GUYS!!

Ansu: We should ask for his help.

Francisco: To come and make 'us' focus??

Pedri: It doesn't work that way dude.

Ansu: NO! With Geri

JC: I'm listening

Dembz: Are we really going to go ask for help from Carles Puyol?! Ansumane are you nuts!?

Ansu: GOT ANY BETTER IDEAS OUSMANE!?

Dembz: No..

Dembz: And stop yelling @Iñaki is probably asleep.

Frenkie: We all should be ...

Ansu: BUT my Puyi idea.

Ronald: Can wait till after El Clasico.

Ronald: Go to sleep now

Ansu: 😒

24 OCTOBER 2020

JC: 4 OUT OF 11!!!

JC: Oh for fuck sake😒

JC: ANSU YOU BRILLIANT GENIUS I COULD KISS YOU!!!

..........

JC: I AM GOING TO KICK HIM! PHIL WHAT!!!!?!?!?!?!?!

JC: What the fuck was that shit....

JC: But it wasn't...

JC: I give up.. Screw this..

...........

Arnau: This blows.

Iñaki: Once again.. pure torture.

Arnau: No but we were doing actually okay..

Iñaki: I mean.. relatively so-so.. we could have had it...

Arnau: What even was that 2nd ..

Iñaki: Bro.. Let it go..

Arnau: 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️

Iñaki: 😐

Ansu: I hate us so much.

Pedri: I should not have said anything the other day..

Pedri: I jinxed myself.

Francisco: That was horrible

Sergiño: Truly awful

Riqui: I am going to keep my comments to myself.

Riqui: Because if I speak, I will get in trouble.

Carlitos: Okay José.

Riqui: HOW DARE YOU.

Carlitos: It was a José move.

Ansu: I just... WHY TAKE ME OUT SO EARLY!

Dembz: A Mess.

Frenkie: So we are just going to get a penalty every time we breathe next to a player!?

JC: BS. Just that.. BS.

Ansu: Siempre igual.

Frenkie: I hate this.

Riqui: We all do.

25 OCTOBER 2020

Ronald: On the bright side..

Riqui: There is not one bright side in this

Ronald: There is.

Ronald: The fact that it's over.

Riqui: Okay one bright side to this. And now we have Juventus next.

Riqui: Without Gerard

Riqui: Which means he will have time...

Riqui: Which means we are screwed.

Carlitos: I would like to go back to the match please.

Riqui: So I was right.. There is no bright side.

Dembz: Dammit.

Riqui: Good night.

Pedri: Night!

JC: See ya later

Carlitos: Nanit!

Sergiño: ✌🏽

26 OCTOBER 2020

Frenkie: They did not just say that.. 🤦🏼‍♂️

Frenkie: As if we needed more backlash...

Carlitos: WHY WOULD THEY EVEN SPEAK!??

Carlitos: WHEN HAS THAT EVER HELPED ANYONE?!

Riqui: Just leave already for the love of everything good...

Riqui: We are a meme Club I swear...

Riqui: When has complaining ever benefited us ever?!

Carlitos: As if they don't know

Ansu: Did he really say that or did I hallucinate it!?

Riqui: They did kiddo

Carlitos: They did kiddo.

JC: Yikes

Francisco: What is the point?

Arnau: What is the point of their existence really

Iñaki: They have so many problems coming their way, the guys say they are taking action against them

Arnau: Well they should have let them finish the season and not just send them off like that.. They deserved to play the play-offs.

Iñaki: Don't remind me.

Arnau: Can the president just issue an arrest warrant against them already?!

Riqui: I wish

Carlitos: THE AUDACITY OF THEM TRYING TO POSTPONE THE REFERENDUM. THE AUDACITY.

Riqui: I hope they end up in Jail. Or like exiled.. whichever can happen quicker..

Ansu: We cannot have one day of peace in this place.

Riqui: How else will the time pass..

Ansu: I rather not have it pass in stress.

Carlitos: Well.. tough.

Riqui: And another one tomorrow.

Riqui: AND FOR WHAT... JUST LEAVE

Sergiño: I am having such a dèjà-vu..

Riqui: About?

Sergiño: Tr*mp..

Riqui: Well.. Kinda.. sorta..

Riqui: Like.. take away the mania and psychopathic behavior and total lack of human empathy and decency... yeah it could be him

Sergiño: I meant the desperate need for him to just leave.

Riqui: Oh well yes that... spot on.

Carlitos: we have to wait more I guess.... But now Juve.

Frenkie: Exactly. Juve.

Ansu: Ronald's big moment. Hope he doesn't screw it up.

Ronald: Appreciate the vote of confidence.. really. So sweet.

Ansu: Anytime broski Anytime.

Pedri: Did you really just say broski?

Ansu: And what about it?

Pedri: Nothing..

Ansu: Mhm...

27 OCTOBER 2020

JC: Another meeting today?

Riqui: Yep

JC: Evening?

Riqui: Yep

JC: You think he will?

Riqui: Who the hell knows.. He might be coming out to announce a new sponsor for all I know

Carlitos: I hear he will

Ansu: Will he though?

Carlitos: Well I'm not his babysitter but I hope so.

Ansu: We shall see.

Frenkie: Ready to take off to Torino?

Pedri: YES!!

Francisco: Cannot wait tbh

Francisco: I saw Gerard today and he was being very suspicious.

Riqui: I do not need this now

Sergiño: I hung out with him during training this morning.. He seemed normal

Dembz: So what is the truth...

Ronald: All I know is he has time now.

Ronald: And I feel sorry for you guys..

Ronald: Not you @Riqui 💙 and Sergi would agree

Riqui: 😒 I hate you 💙

...............

Arnau: HOLY CRAP HE DID IT!!!

Arnau: WE ARE FREE!!!!!!

Carlitos: I cannot believe it. Someone slap me.

Carlitos: I DID NOT MEAN IT LITERALLY RONALD!

Ronald: You asked.

Riqui: I JUST... I WOULD LIKE TO SAY....

Riqui: 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Carlitos: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN A EUROPEAN SUPER LEAGUE.. BRO!!

Ansu: Like I said.. We cannot have not 1 moment of peace.

Riqui: Is he really playing a victim?!

Carlitos: Great... more games for us not to play😒

Ansu: But things are changing.. so

Frenkie: Oh wow.. oh wow.. OH WOW

Francisco: What even is the point of a Super league?!

Francisco: It's like the Nations' League.. What is the point of that

Pedri: Money.

Pedri: 🤷🏻‍♂️

Francisco: Fair point.

Iñaki: Isn't everything?

Francisco: Yep.

Dembz: So now what guys?...

Riqui: Now we are free. We wait for the new President.

Riqui: And maybe a new coach 🙄

Dembz: I dig that.

Pedri: How do you guys think Leo is feeling??

Ansu: I wonder what the adults gc is like right now.

Ansu: Dammit Carles when are you going to be useful!

Carlitos: RUDE MUCH

Ansu: We need to know

Riqui: 😂

Frenkie: So now that he is gone.. What are we going to complain about in this Club.

Riqui: It's us.. We always have something. But enjoy this Win bro

Frenkie: I am.

Sergiño: I hope we can enjoy more wins

Francisco: Leo must be very happy.

Riqui: I wanna post something.. but I don't know if I should.

Dembz: Do it subtly.

Arnau: Have you met him? He doesn't know subtlety.

Riqui: I brought you here to back me up dude not join them😒

[floatingcatacombs]

I Write About Fate

12 Days of Aniblogging 2019, Day 10

One of the coolest things about Fate/stay night is that it’s divided neatly into three separate, linear routes. First the Fate arc, followed by the Unlimited Blade Works arc, concluded with Heaven’s Feel. Each story builds upon the rest, with Shirou learning from his past mistakes and trying his best to keep the Holy Grail War from ending in disaster. His end goals stay relatively the same, but his philosophy shifts and grows each time. While it isn’t often brought up directly in the dialogue of the shows, Shirou’s relationship to women is an omnipresent theme, and it evolves throughout the show. With its historical Servants, Fate asks us to look back through time and learn from the past. With this perspective, we find that it’s possible to map each of Fate’s routes to a historical wave of feminism. Through this, we can see not only how Shirou’s attitudes towards women change over time, but how the world responds and reshapes itself as a result of each feminist revolution.

But I Am

The Fate arc sees Shirou first entering the Holy Grail War, with all of his historical prejudices fully intact. He gets paired up with the iconic servant Saber, a lady knight who has a lot of Gender Stuff going on on the side. But that’s unnecessary for now. She’s obviously strong and capable of handling herself in combat, but Shirou insists that because she’s a girl, she’s feeble and must be Protected By A Man. In fact, Shirou internalizes this down to the gendering of weaponry. See, in JRPGs, physical attacks are often masculine-coded, and magic is more feminine-coded. Shirou literally tells Saber that instead of fighting physically, she should be handling the magic attacks. It’s the Nasuverse equivalent of telling her to stay in the kitchen. At this point in the series, Shirou has misogyny so deeply embedded that he can hardly even begin to change it himself. Through laborious dedication, Saber manages to prove herself as capable of masculine-coded fighting, and Shirou is forced to let her continue fighting and starts changing his ways so he isn’t so forcefully overprotective. This directly parallels first-wave feminism’s goals – not to change the minds of men, but to grant themselves the legal right to have a say in what they do for themselves, such as voting. Unfortunately, bad things happen, the timeline rolls back, and now we’re onto the second arc/wave.

The Unlimited Blade Works arc presents a more weathered Shirou. His philosophical development at this point has left him a utilitarian, which means that he believes the ends always justify the means. Shirou has a new girlfriend now, the tsundere Rin. A powerful caster, she believes that women are just as capable as men and should be given the same opportunities. She exemplifies this by having Lancer kill Shirou when he’s not looking. Was that justified? Well, Shirou’s dead now, so he doesn’t really get to comment. With pesky wannabe male philosophers out of the way, Rin is free to enter the Holy Grail War herself and live out her liberated fantasies. This is largely similar to second-wave feminism’s goals! The women’s liberation movements of the 1960s and 70s believed in women’s rights to work instead of be housewives, have sexual autonomy and reproductive rights, and overcome oppression. Ironically, the shortcomings and downfall of second-wave feminism match up with Rin’s failings. In bettering herself, she leaves her Lancer and Archer servants disenfranchised and unable to gain the benefits of her freedom. She’s defeated by a moral backlash – just like how Phyllis Schlafly manages to topple women’s liberation by simply arguing “what if I’m happy enough as a housewife?”, Rin loses to female servants who are happy to be spellcasters and never anything else. The timeline fails and we’re back to the start again.

Finally, the Heaven’s Feel arc. This is the final chapter of the story, and boy is it a doozy. Shirou is back again, meets up quickly with Rin and Saber again, having finally fully opened his mind up to women’s rights. He notices that Rin’s Archer and Lancer servants struggle from dual combined oppression. You see, Rin frequently has the two of them join up and fuse to become the Greatbow class. Within this fusion, Greatbow experiences the aforementioned disenfranchisement of both Archer and Lancer. It’s not just their disenfranchisement combined though – that specific combination compounds Greatbow’s oppression, making it far more than just the sum of them alone. What Nasu is grasping at here is very clearly the concept of intersectionality. Coined by Kimberle Crenshaw in 1989, intersectionality refers to how the interactions of oppressed identities exacerbate their discrimination. For example, the oppression of Black women cannot be understood solely by looking at the oppression of Black men and that of women – there’s an additional axis of oppression that occurs from the intersection of blackness and womanhood. Intersectionality can apply to race, trans identity, socioeconomic status, and in Heaven’s Feel’s case, class struggle. Shirou solves the oppression of the Greatbows by throwing himself into the fusion, gaining empathy and solidarity through shared experiences. As a powerful Master-Servant synthesis, Shirbouw easily sweeps the rest of the Holy Grail War. Crowned the winner of the war by Elohim, Shirou is instantly struck dead and sent to the titular Heaven’s Field. Judged to be good and holy, because he respected women and never drank coffee during his lifetime, Elohim gives Shirou the highest glory. The series ends with him entering the celestial kingdom with his 7 sealed wives, destined for an eternity of bliss.

The Fate series has always had a somewhat complicated relationship with gender. It’s very easy to tell that the creator Kinoko Nasu is learning alongside Shirou what it means to be a good ally. At the end of the day, though, Fate/stay night serves as an effective metaphor for feminism in the 20th century, and one hopes that the current adaptation of Grand Order Babylonia will further this exploration to the modern era.

Disclaimer: I have never consumed any Fate

[the-enraptured]

What is the responsibility of a Christian in the face of social injustice?

The heart of a Christ-follower is naturally empathetic, because to love God is to love one-another. After we are reborn, that carnal nature slowly starts to dissipate. So when we see a lost sheep, we tend to reflect the heart of the Father. Here is the command Christ gives us when we hear the bleating call;

“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Matt 10:16

We must be innocent in the eyes of God, which means to have empathy, and to love one another as Christ loves us. However we must also be wise, and we must know what the word love means.

We love to twist God into the form of our own image, instead of letting Him refine our hearts. Because of this it’s very easy to observe a polarity in the modern perception of the being of Christ. Conservatives like the imagery of a nationalist, patriotic gun-toting hero who has come to liberate us from the oppression of Rome. (Sound familiar?) Liberals (more so post-modern neo Marxists) like to view Christ as a guru who martyred Himself for equity, a possibility equal-outcome. This is the group of the itching ears, looking for the land of milk and honey, but still clinging onto the idols of “fairness” and the abolishment of all suffering.

I would say unfortunately, but in reality it’s quite fortunate, that Christ is neither of these things. A common theme I can see in both of these narratives is a complete and utter lack of personal responsibility. Christ was not hung on a tree so we could hold onto resentment toward oppressors. The Word of God reveals that I am the oppressor, and you are as well.

1 Peter 2:23 “When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.”

“For each one will bear his own kid.” Gal 6:5

The wages of sin is death, so how could we expect a utopia to be born out of resentment? The nazis and marxists had this utopia in mind, a new world order. Where did it lead? These wolves in sheep’s clothing disguise themselves as sympathetic, altruistic even. However the common denominator parallels back to the story of Cain and Abel. Cain’s sense of injustice at an “unfair” outcome resulted in the slaughter of his brother. This type of society is led by a mob-mentality, complete and utter chaos fueled by hatred. Hatred towards the government, race, sex, class, power, intellect. However, even the Word declares that it rains on the just and unjust alike.

“not as Cain, who was of the evil one and slew his brother. And for what reason did he slay him? Because his deeds were evil, and his brother’s were righteous.” 1 John 3:12

Am I arguing that any group should be oppressed, and that backlash against a group is morally evil? Not necessarily. God heard the cries of the Israelites in Exodus, and led them away from abuse and persecution. God hears our cries, and empathizes with us.

“And now, behold, The cry of the people of Israel has come to me, and I have also seen the oppression with which the Egyptians oppress them.” Exodus 3:9

What I am arguing is the manner of practical application. Throwing money at an issue has never worked in history. Polarization leads to the chaotic downfall of empires, like the beheadings in the french revolution. And the simple fact is that the US has a past of racism, more so classism, a system designed to keep the poor oppressed and bound.

Black neighborhoods are over policed, planned parenthood locations are strategically placed near black neighborhoods and impoverished areas. The prison system forces slave labor upon people who have unfortunately learned to fend for themselves for a multitude of reasons, intentionally capitalizing upon the pain and suffering of those in difficult situations which lead them to make rash, impulsive decisions.

I believe the first thing we can do is change hearts and minds. Not even a career criminal, such as George Floyd, who pointed a gun at a pregnant woman’s belly, deserves to die from a knee on his neck. There is no excuse. We are to be innocent until proven guilty, not the other way around. We must have empathy for criminals and the poor, such as Jesus did for the prostitutes and thieves. We can’t view ourselves as morally superior, for without God we are just as carnal and capable of atrocity.

Romans 3:12 “All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; no one does good, not even one.”

We can avoid crafty schemes of politicians and the media. Choose to watch news programs not funded by a giant corporation, those who have positive reputations and use statistics correctly without manipulation. Listen to conservative and liberal journalists, listen to non-biased journalists. Look at the data for yourself, and quite being lazy. The FBI website has statistics on a wide variety of hot topics.

“so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes.” Eph 4:14

We can in addition reform the prison system and the general criminal justice system. Legally enforce cops to have yearly mental health evaluations screening symptoms of PTSD and other mental health conditions, create incentives for positive reinforcement in police departments for nonviolence.

We can write and speak out to make a small ripple that may multiply amongst eachother, creating a movement of truth without deception and emotional manipulation. We can vote and take advantage of the republic our founding fathers left to us, vote for politicians who don’t buy into the black and white simplistic mentality, those without a confirmation bias living in an echo chamber. Or even better, become a politician, and be the change you wish to see in the world.

Take personal responsibility. You cannot force people to feel what you feel, or to think how you think. God designed us with individual minds to serve different purposes. We only have the choice to control our own actions, and to selflessly love our neighbor as ourself, while at the same time seeing through deception of a false grace, a false love, a false peace, peace that the world gives to us unlike the peace Christ gives to us. If you see a homeless person, buy them lunch. Take them to get a haircut. This is how we need to tithe.

“And whoever gives one of these little ones even a cup of cold water because he is a disciple, truly, I say to you, he will by no means lose his reward.” Matt 10:14

We must drop the racist narrative of white privilege, or privilege in general, along with identity politics. We must have empathy yet also be wise in not accepting pure anecdotal evidence and personal experience, until we believe any accusation we must have witnesses.

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Gal 3:28

“This is the third time I am coming to you. Every charge must be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.” 2 Corinthians 13:1

Intercession. Prayer has power, and for far too long we have been dismissing the power of prayer. God tells us to pray for our leaders and our nation, we should be obedient in doing so. Through prayer we not only strengthen our nation, but we allow ourselves to be refined by God, so we are humble and ready to do His will.

Ezekiel 22:30, “I looked for someone among them who would build up the wall and stand before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would not have to destroy it, but I found no one.”

[activatingaggro]

It's been a couple of days, but I totally missed people reblogging memes, so: B, C, H, K, and S?

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Enemies-to-lovers! Enemies-to-friends. Anything that hugely and dramatically changes CR.

Friends to enemies is a huge favourite, but only if they kiss. Sorry.

“These two characters are romantically inclined, but not admitting it, and oh no, now they have to share a bed / pretend to be married / publicly flirt or make-out, and O O P S, FEELINGS.”

This only never appears on tumblr because I’m classy. You’re welcome.

Platonic soulmates! Or those sitches where characters just click, instantly, with someone that they really, really, /really/ should fucking not have. I want the drama, the self-loathing, the spirals of mutual distress, because you just fell in love with the spy you’re supposed to capture and you’re still going to shoot him in the face, rifp.

Blood swaps. I don’t do magic anons, but please let it be known that I absolutely would write a long, massive thread with either of the birdrails having to successfully impersonate seadwellers, or with another character having to pretend to be a wildly different caste. I want the cultural shock, the privilege gain/loss, the struggle of looking in the mirror and seeing something totally wrong - or delightfully right, per society’s standards of behaviours - and the intricacies of caste behaviour.

“You’re incredibly important to me, but now I’m going to have to betray you, because MORALS.” Or vice-versa! Any situation where a character’s morals come up against their preferences, basically, and morals win out, and everyone has to deal with the backlash. GIVE ME CHARACTERS STANDING BY THEIR CONVICTIONS AND PAYING THE PRICE.

H: How would you describe your style?

HOW GROUCHY AM I TODAY IN DESCRIBING THIS is the real question. uwu

I put a lot of focus on narrative, and a lot of focus on minor details! I like to note what characters are paying attention to, and letting it (hopefully) say something about themselves: ID rarely notices people’s appearances unless they’re violet, or unless it’s in his face, and he misses a lot of details period. Sipara is constantly assessing if she can kill someone, and how. Riccin is constantly speculating on what quadrant they can fit someone in. Pheres is constantly assessing if he’s about to get killed.

My main focus while writing narratives is ensuring that you can strip all the names and still, hopefully, tell which character is telling the story! This is in roleplay. In writing, I try to put a lot more focus on the actual scenes, and a lot less focus on the narrative: my absolute ideal of style, for individual stuff, has to be WATCH THE ROOTS by Lionpyh, or pretty much any story of Isozyme’s.

Individual stuff where the focus is on a story rather than the characters, I really like crisp, clipped lines, and in roleplay stuff, I like longer, narrative-focused ones.

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Back when Pheres had gills as his default: he gets found out by a seadweller who collects mutants, and yanked into her collection, so he starts off a long-haul plan to escape that involves wooing her flush, but accidentally ends up genuinely falling for his own ploy in a fucked up stockholmian sitch. So Sipara finally manages to yank enough strings to get the info to come and rescue him, a year or so in, murders her way through the facility, collects Pheres -

- and he’s a mess, because oh, no, don’t kill her! She can be fixed! Don’t, don’t don’t -

And Sipara kills her, anyway, and they have a pile in the middle of this awful, bloody facility, and everything is terrible, and everyone is crying, and I think it eventually results in an incredibly ace, weird blur of , where the two of them dissolve into even harder codependence then they started off the blog with.

I have art of this somewhere on this blog, actually!

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Pheres is directly inspired by the fact my definitive memories of my teenage years included a lot of my friends being exploited/harmed by significantly older men at 13-18 under the guise of ~*relationships*~, and our flailing attempts to figure out how to navigate romance/relationships in a context that was defined by that kind of abusive fuckery.

Pheres is subsequently a trashfire in a way that’s meant to examine and prod at that in a different context! How do these situations happen and exist in Alternian contexts? And if the foundation upon which you’ve learned to build relationships was fucked up from the get-go, how does that affect you as you grow older, and how do you learn to fix it?

And a lot of Pheres’s general encounters with his customers reflect negative experiences that I have had with folks, or that my friends have had with people, just amped up to fit the Alternian context. Someone who’s previously been civil getting in your face shrieking because WAS THAT DISRESPECTFUL, ARE YOU BEING UPPITY – gets twisted into a customer shanking him over something equally minor.

C: What character do you identify with most?

I deliberately don’t really identify with most of my characters, haha. It’s part of my IC-OOC barrier: I love them, and I love writing them, but the majority are morally incompatible with my own viewpoints, or have done horrific shit that can’t be overlooked in the name of identification.

With that said, the specific traits I put in that I hook onto the most:

ID’s general ennui towards strong emotions is something I relate to! ID finds it detrimental to himself, at points, and gets delighted over having strong emotions on the rare instances it happens - I, on the other hand, am just thoroughly disinclined towards them completely when it comes to myself. HARD LOGIC ONLY.

Which has led to interesting character gaps between my portrayal of ID and others perceptions of him, I think? I personally view his largest flaws as his lack of empathy and his history of fucking over everyone around him on a whim - a lot of people view one of his largest flaws as not emotionally connecting to his romantic partners. Different writers view different aspects of a character as relatable, and it’s neat to see.

Sipara’s temper issues! She’s got a (physical) parallel of my anger issues from when I was a baby, and the same levels of “I MUST CONTROL EVERYTHING”. She’s totally a feral goblin of a hellchild, but I find it #relatable, even while I’m like “yeah, girl’s batshit”.

Pheres’s general control freak issues, and his inability to disengage from people that he really should, because what if they feel bad? =:( Also, his general desire to take responsibility over everyone and shove them into his nest to be mothered, lbr here.

Riccin’s desire to just roll with the fucking blows when it comes to their interpersonal relationships.This has come up with Orivar, it’s come up with Videle, it’s come up with Gliese - if you push them, they’ll fold, because their focus tends to be more on “keep the peace” with friends and quads, moreso than “keep my own personal interests in mind”.

[slayxwolf]

Stiles Stilinski Imagine- Where’s My Love

Masterlist

Author’s Note: So this is based on this song, you can find it here. I just think it’s so beautiful so I had to make an imagine based on it.

Word Count: 1,995

Cold bones. Yeah, that's my love She hides away, like a ghost Does she know that we bleed the same? Don't wanna cry but I break that way

‘I can’t do this anymore. I am sick and tired of losing people to this fucking town. I have loved and lost so many people because of the supernatural backlash and I'm afraid I’ve lost myself’. That was the last thought that ran through your mind, the words that repeated as you packed your bags, as you left your house key and as you began to drive. It wasn't easy. None of this was ever going to be easy.

Scott and Stiles rushed into your house, they hadn't seen you in over 24 hours and you weren't answering your phone. Scott was still covered in blood from the night before, trying to protect Beacon Hills from yet another supernatural threat. “Y/n!” they both called, storming through the empty rooms. Scott rushed upstairs, while Stiles checked downstairs. Suddenly, Scott’s footsteps from upstairs came to a halt; catching Stiles’ attention. He followed and walked into your bedroom, Scott glanced behind him with sympathetic eyes. The further your boyfriend walked into you room, the more he realised you were gone. A place that had once felt like a second home to him, felt unfamiliar and cold. “I'm sorry” Scott dropped his head in guilt. You and Stiles had been inseparable since Freshman year, you didn't find out about the supernatural until the time you saw Jackson turn into a fucking lizard. Scott wondered if it wasn't for him getting bitten, that things would have never ended up like this. Stiles looked around your room, clothes were ripped off the hangers in your wardrobe, essential items were pulled out of your draws, your suitcase and bags were missing and your room was practically bare. Stiles stood staring at blank walls and let out a subtle laugh, one of shock and astonishment; as opposed to amusement. “She’s gone-” he breathed. He turned to face Scott with tears in his eyes, before Scott pulled him into a hug, holding the back of his head firmly with his hand.

Stiles couldn't sleep that night- or any night for that matter. He feared that you could be hurt or scared while he was sleeping peacefully, he also feared that he would dream of you- and wake up without you lying beside him. The same routine every night, he would scroll through pictures of you together, re-read texts and constantly think about old memories. The heavy feeling you get In your chest when you hear bad news, Stiles had that all of the time. You did what you needed to do for yourself, but that meant breaking people’s hearts along the way. Stiles stared at the most recent picture of you in his phone, you looked so happy and he searched for signs of the sadness you felt- but couldn't find any. He felt the indent as someone sat at the bottom of his bed, “Come on son” he sighed gently, locking the phone in his hand. Stiles put it on his bedside table and shook his head, “I just miss her” he barely spoke. “I know” he replied, giving Stiles an endearing pat on the shoulder, before reaching to turn his lamp off. He stood up and walked out of the room, not because he didn't care, but because he felt the same pain Stiles felt. When his wife died he did the same thing, went down the same path of self destruction and grief. Nothing hurts like the first heartbreak, its an inevitable pain- but he thought you two were different. I guess he was wrong.

Cold sheets. Oh, where's my love? I am searching high, I'm searching low in the night Does she know that we bleed the same? Don't wanna cry but I break that way

“Hey Stiles”  Lydia said casually, but failed to mask the empathy in her voice. He simply nod his head and gave her a weak smile. “You haven't been at school in a while, I'm surprised you remember where the library is” she joked, trying to make him feel better. Stiles just stared at her blankly. “I'm sorry- that was a stupid thing for me to say- sorry” she rambled, feeling terrible. He let out a soft laugh. “You asshole, I though I upset you” she laughed back, punching him playfully in the arm. “I'm fine- honestly” he claimed, his voice crack suggesting otherwise. She looked over his shoulder and at the laptop he had open on the table. She shook her head a took a seat beside him. Stiles hung his head. “You hacked into her phone records, Stiles you are aware of how illegal that is right?” she asked in disbelief. “They’re useless anyway” he huffed, taking the headphones from around his neck off and slamming his laptop shut. “You’re looking for her, aren't you?” she asked, and his lack of answer said it all. She sat for a moment and sighed, thinking before making any type of decision. “Are you sure you want to do this?” she questioned. “What if she doesn't want to be found?” he asked, his voice raspy and his eyes glazed. “Sometimes, two people need to fall apart, to realise how much they need to fall back together" she answered, giving him a small but genuine smile. He understood completely. “So if we’re going to do this...” she began saying, opening up his laptop. “Then we’ll do it together” she comforted, channelling her knowledge into helping him search for you. Lydia played cupid in Freshman year, which inevitably got you both together. It was only fair that she helped you find your way back to one another.

Did she run away? Did she run away? I don't know If she ran away If she ran away, come back home Just come home

You gripped onto the steering wheel tightly. What the fuck are you doing? You kept repeating in your head as you drove. You had no idea where you were going and quite frankly, you didn't care anymore. You adjusted you wing view mirror and put on your windshield wipers, as it began to pour down with rain. Great. You wiped the smudged mascara from under your eye, before returning to stare at the empty road in front of you. You glanced at your phone that was resting on the passenger seat, along with your purse. You hadn't turned it on since you left, because you knew that the missed calls and text messages from everyone will break you, but you kept it close to you because it was the only thing you had left, that kept you connected to Beacon Hills. You drove past couples on the street walking hand in hand. You remembered when your life used to be that simple, before you were constantly fighting for it, due to the next supernatural nightmare to plague the town. You lost your best friend to it, people you’d known since you could just about talk, and people that fought to save you all- you couldn't watch that happen anymore. As much as losing a loved one hurts, you now came to realise that leaving hurts the most. Everyone’s time is limited on earth and it’s better to live every second of it, doing the things you love, with the people you love. Maybe walking away from that was the biggest mistake you’ve made, maybe it was the best. But everything happens for a reason, right. Going back was the easiest thing to do- but you weren't sure if it was the right thing to do.

I got a fear, oh, in my blood She was carried up into the clouds, high above If you bled, I'll bleed the same If you're scared, I'm on my way

“It’s been weeks” Scott sighed, slumping onto his best friend’s bed. Stiles mumbled as a response and continued to type, print, highlight and pin up leads onto his investigation board. “You've stopped coming to school again- you’re failing history class” Scott continued. “It can wait” he brushed off, standing up and starting to search for his coloured strings. “Stiles, just stop” Scott spoke with authority, tired of watching him mope around his room desperately searching for someone that was never coming back. “We all miss her, she’s been apart of all of our lives for so long- but you have to let go” he said softly. “I know Y/n and I know that right now she’s feeling scared and alone, because she always does things before thinking rationally, it’s what she is- she’s a doer and that's why she needs me, because I'm a thinker and together we make the perfect balance and-” he began to ramble at 100mph. “You love each other, but sometimes things aren't meant to be and it sucks” he interrupted, for once being the voice of reason regarding relationships. “I cant live without her” Stiles admitted. Scott was familiar with a similar form of heartache and he knew it was the cruellest. He sighed and stood up, before picking up Stiles’ string from the desk behind him and handing it to him. It was a small gesture, with a huge meaning behind it. “We’ll find her” Scott reassured. Stiles nod his head and smiled at his best friend, as they continued to search together.

Did you run away? Did you run away? I don't need to know If you ran away If you ran away, come back home Just come home 

You tucked your hair behind your ear as you walked across the beach. You hadn't settled down anywhere and you were feeling alone to say the least. “Excuse me, you dropped something” an old women passed you a small polaroid picture that must have fallen out of your wallet. “Thank you” you said gently as she handed it to you. You began to walk away but she held your hand for a little longer. “He’s a handsome young man, is he your boyfriend?” she asked. You glanced down at the picture, it was of you and Stiles at a party. He had his arm around you and you were laughing. “Oh erm, something like that” you gave a weak smile. “Young love” she said understandingly, letting go of you. “Have a good day” you said, which she returned. You turned around and wiped the tear that had been desperate to esape your eye. You took a deep breath and continued to walk. The beach was always your place of clarity, you watched as the sun began to set behind the sea. “Excuse me” a voice spoke. Goosebumps rose on your skin, you had longed to hear it. “Stiles-” you turned around to see him. His eyes wide and his lips parted open. “Take me home” you let out a sob as you ran into his arms without hesitation. He tightened his grip around you and stroked your hair as it blew in the breeze. “I missed you so fucking much” he said in relief, finally feeling you in his arms after months of hurting. “I missed you too” you squeezed your eyes shut at the thought of having to live another second without him. “I felt like I was going out of my mind” he whispered into your ear. You pulled away from him and stared into his watery dark brown eyes, “I’ve realised something” you said, almost inaudibly. “What?” he asked worriedly. “I love you, I love you so much” you shook your head as tears fell from your eyes. He smiled for a second, “I love you” he replied. He put his arm around your waist as you both carried to walk along the beach. You felt so many different emotions, but alone was no longer one of them. You were back with the person you loved and you never intended to be away from him again- ever.

Sorry for being such a terrible writer and not being active in months, I suck I know x

[coffeeandmoonthoughts]

his name was hunter

His name was Hunter.

I walked into the gym with wobbly legs. I was a runner who took up weightlifting but never actually had the courage to lift someone remotely challenging. Not only were my legs tired, but my spirit was also getting wobbly. I went through a long series of no-strings-attached relationships, with strict rules I enforced. Sure, I was warm and friendly, but I always made sure they knew it wasn't going anywhere. Family meetings weren't allowed and when I noticed feelings were developing, or it got scary, I would cut it off. It was a messy procedure but being emotionally vulnerable to someone wasn't in the cards for me. I kept them all at an arms length, getting what I wanted and calling it quits when the time came. I was a feather in the wind whom no one could ever chain down. Too much baggage so I substituted with merely physical intimacy and thought that would do the trick. It didn't. It got tiring after a while, floating around, refusing to be anything concrete and tangible but honestly, I didn't even know where to begin. Ruined a lot of people, too. In a way, it was incredibly selfish so when someone close to me accused me of being the most selfish person they had ever met, I showed them they were right. I refused under any circumstances to give in.

I asked if anyone I knew wanted to join me with weightlifting in the gym and he eagerly volunteered. We were acquaintances, or friends, for a while but I always kept him at a distance because something was just “off” about it. When he stepped up I took him up on the offer because he seemed to be the only reliable one who would actually show up at 5 am every morning with me, plus he had some experience. I was the newbie. The first day destroyed me. I hardly had any muscle tone. He was patient with me though and took me through it all. A few weeks into it, he started testing the waters. You know, flirting etc. I didn't have any current prospects so I sort of let things go where they went. Plus, he really pumped me up, supported and challenged me and I was starting to feel incredibly empowered. He had a very “no bullshit” sort of attitude that I liked. But other than that, I wasn't sure if I really liked him or was even attracted to him, so I tried it out to see if it would be anything real. Looking back now I see that if you have to question something then it’s not right. I had a lot of unresolved issues and things I hadn't addressed so naturally that played out later. One day I went to his place after the gym and one thing lead to another. He was incredibly affectionate. Next thing I knew I was moving in with him, super quickly. I would give this thing a go. Maybe there was something I was missing on the other end of having a serious relationship. It took me a while to put a label on it, as usual, but I sort of just let it manifest.

It might be good to remember that this is an experience from my perspective and that each story has two sides. To this day I don't know which one is right or wrong or if two people take equal part in destroying each other or if there really are people out there that are toxic to everyone or if its just wrong time, wrong place, with the wrong people. I can only show from my perspective, trying to remain as objective as possible without diminishing how I felt in the very moment.

His family had money. They drove bmw’s and lived in the rich part of town with a private club. I started realizing he got a lot of what he had from his family. His apartment was even owned by his uncle. I went to swanky parties where I was thrown in head first and swam to the best of my abilities. He introduced me to all his friends as his “hot” girlfriend. His friends being frat boys with daddy’s money who I normally would avoid because, well, sometimes they are devoid of anything real (I'm totally generalizing and judging here). Sometimes they spoke bad about their girlfriends behind their backs and did dark things but I thought “this must just be a boy thing, they can't really mean it”. They wore salmon colored polos and binge drank on the weekends and had private pool parties. They drank into obliteration. I stuck it out thinking that maybe there was something I was missing here. Maybe this was where I belonged. We played racquetball at the gym and tennis at the club and swam during the summer. I tried to fit in, but I always felt like I was just the drifty hippie girl wannabe who tailed along with them. Fast forward some months and he lost his drive in the gym because of the comfort of our relationship. Things got comfortable, stale maybe, and I started feeling a little insecure and empty. We didn't have much of a connection and whatever leftover between us was nothing. We were polar opposites. I felt like a passionate, fiery person, but around him I felt like I disappeared. Like his loud and opinionated self took over everything, leaving no room for me. It left me quiet. Very quiet. He would make little comments about people different than him and they seemed harsh to me. I would call him out and he would justify it and then I would be left thinking maybe I was just overly sensitive. Maybe it was just me being too nice again. And so the brainwashing began. He would go out drinking at a buddies place in another part of town, call me up at 3 or 4 am wasted and incoherent and demanding I come get him. He would get impatient and angry when I couldn't understand where he was. One time I picked him up in a strange part of town after he got kicked out of his friends uber ride. He got into a fight in the car and broke his friends hand when they tried to kick him out. He was stumbling around in the middle of the street like a mad man with a shredded shirt. I took him home and he got angry when I seemed upset at the situation. But I had already learned that you can't argue with an incoherent drunk. He got out of my car and accidentally knocked my side mirror off when he fell over. He barely made it up the stairs.

We started fighting a lot. A lot. Especially when he was drunk. He had a lot of female friends and they never bothered me before, but they started to. Especially when I realized I used to be one of them. I was the girl he “had a crush on for forever and always wanted to be with”. I was that girl. I used to be one of them. I started getting weird vibes about it. I caught him talking on the phone outside with one in particular once. She was crying to him and got into a fight with her longtime boyfriend and Hunter was who she called to talk to. He told me she was having a hard time, something was wrong medically that was making her lose her hair or something etc and I felt really bad after that, knowing that she probably needed support even though she looked fine. He got a snapchat from another one of them, it was pretty much her boobs and for some reason it made me feel really uncomfortable. I began to get so insecure. How did I go from being the hot girlfriend to feeling like this. I started turning into “the crazy girlfriend”. I never wanted to be one. I always wanted to be secure and open but I started to feel like I was losing my shit. We would argue about his destructive drinking, girl friends or just me in general. Every time I had something to say he had a rebuttal ready to fire at me. I questioned my sanity every single day. I was genuinely losing my mind. Not only that, but I was losing all of my (few) friends too. He would talk shit about them to me. He told me they said things to him behind my back and that they didn't deserve me and were trash. Slowly, they stopped coming around and I was left only with his frat boys. I started disconnecting from (few) my family members - they just weren't important and sometimes messed with me. Family is family but they come with a laundry list of flaws and sometimes drama. I felt completely isolated.

This all happened so slowly that I never had a real concrete reason to leave. Every time we had an altercation I was left feeling way too emotional or sensitive. Like, this was all in my head. We were becoming toxic together. Eventually, I stopped speaking up at all. I started walling myself up one brick at a time realizing that this wasn't what I thought it would be. He would cry crocodile tears, you know the ones, where the tears are coming out slowly and the eyes are turning red but the expression on his face doesn't match the tone of the words coming out of his mouth. As if they were forced. In my eyes, he became devoid of empathy and was turning me into someone I didn't want to be. I wasn't this person I felt like I was becoming. His insecurities started showing and they usually turned towards me. Anything I said, any tiny criticism or suggestion was met with rage. I lived with him, but I started hiding from him - avoiding saying certain things, doing certain things, in order to not get backlash from him. I felt bad for everything, all the time. I was walking on eggshells. I was such an upbeat person but something, something, had happened to me and I cracked and didn't see a way out. Something was wrong with me. Is this what a serious relationship was these days? Was this what I was going to have to put up with forever? Was this just a phase and would it get better?? Was I the one destroying this? I always destroyed things, I kept people far from me, it was my thing. There were good times, sure. But deep, deep down inside, something was wrong and I couldn't figure out what it was. I went to a barbecue at his friends house and he got so drunk he lost control of himself, got into a fight and embarrassed me and we had to leave so he wouldn't cause anymore trouble. This happened more times than I'd like to admit.

I was with him for almost two years. I had some friends who asked me why I was and that I could do better but in my eyes, his family had reliability, was as normal as they came and maybe if I stuck it out it would be worth it. I drove off my last friend who called me out on everything. I pretended I was fine, but deep inside my heart was crying and I didn't know how to ask for help. I was so brainwashed no one could tell me anything and I stayed. I’ve found that maybe people like me, see someones light or goodness and cling to it. That’s all we see. We see someones potential even if they are destroying us or sucking the very life from us. And the really good ones, we see something bad in as an excuse because we are afraid they will turn into the former. But who knows. We got into so many stupid fights. They always left me sitting alone in tears. Always. Everything I said was wrong. I never won one, not even once. My words got twisted and misconstrued. I didn't know how to say exactly what I meant to get my point across, because, well, he wasn’t listening anyways. I questioned every word that came from my mouth. Questioned every thought. I felt like he was so mean. Or was I too sensitive? I couldn't tell anymore and everything became foggy. I wrote about it a long time ago and it broke my heart reading it because I wrote it when I was in the thick of it. He would speak about his exes and called one of them spineless. He was still on good terms with her and she was very very sweet, but he said she was spineless. I wanted to talk to her and get her take on it but I never had the courage because I didn't want to go behind his back and be “that girl”. Spineless. That always stuck with me. What a thing to call someone. If he said that about her, what was to stop him from saying or thinking that about me. What made me different than her? She was a sweetheart and I knew it. I wanted to be the girl who had a spine of steel. But in that very moment, I felt like maybe I was spineless too and I actually wrote those very words and I’ll never forget it. If I couldn't stand up to him, then I had no spine. I had no voice and didn't even know how to start speaking again. One night he made a comment about my brother. It was supposed to be a joke and I uneasily laughed it off and uncomfortably asked him to drop it. He didn't. He kept going. I grew a spine and stood up and tried to angrily walk away and he got up and grabbed my shirt and pulled it down and inappropriately grabbed at me and I wasn't sure why. Next thing I knew I was in tears and according to him, it was my fault. He thought it was funny. It was a joke to him. Eventually, I stopped talking at all. I hated who I was and I didn't even know how it happened. I didn't know how to get out. We would stay at one of his parent’s houses and I would be left alone for days in a giant house with a personal gym with surround sound and big library and I thought it was worth it. It wasn't. I have never felt so stupid in my entire life trying to fit a square into a circle. Trying to always see the good.

I started having regular panic attacks. I spent days in bed, hiding under covers shaking from head to toe. I missed days at work. He left me alone letting me “sort through it” and did nice things from time to time to ease it. But I couldn't even speak to him because every time I did I felt more and more stupid. And I had no one to talk to about this, out of embarrassment. I didn't have anywhere to turn or go and every time anything happened he would hear about it. I got on my old Tumblr page and vented about it because it was the only thing he didn't know about. Of course, any magic between us was lost too. He got frustrated and told me it was too much work turning me on anymore. I would get mad, pack of my stuff and leave to run errands. To this day, I can't believe I ever stuck it out, or ever came back. What did I think was going to happen? I thought about leaving all the time, but I didn't have anywhere to go and no one to turn to. I wasn't a healed person and couldn't even turn to myself. We went to his family’s condo in Florida and I thought maybe it would get better. It seemed to get better but only on the surface. The beach was soothing and I even found a sea monster off the coast of Sanibel island. Ok, it wasn't a monster it was a giant conch shell creature. Turns out the whole trip I was trying to escape myself and him. I never quite felt like myself and I didn't know this girl I had become. We drove back and he passed out in practically a coma the entire way. I’m not going to say how many hours I drove but I drove it myself. And I was glad he slept the whole way. That means I didn't have to deal with him. And on it went.

We broke up shortly after Florida. Well, it wasn't a breakup, it was a “break”. He told me I hadn't been “myself” and maybe we needed time apart. Part of me said it was a good idea, but that I wasn't going anywhere and that I had decided he was where my future was. Another part of me, in the back of my mind, told me thank goddddddd. I need to breathe. I left. I won't say where I went or what I did next because I'm too ashamed to even speak of it. I was at my lowest low and will have to live with what happened next but I'm taking it all to my grave. That being said, after some days apart I realized not having him around me felt like a physical weight had been lifting. I felt it physically. My mood changed. My thoughts changed. Everything changed and I realized I had no desire to ever speak to him again. I sat in my car and realized I had no need for him. ever. I never responded to anything from him. I just stopped. I was on my own and, oh my god, I felt free and the possibilities were scary but endless. I realized it was him that dragged me down and I couldn't even believe I got to that place. But he wouldn't leave me alone like I wanted. He continued to binge drink, call me hundreds of time, stalked me in person and on twitter and each time I blocked him, he created new account after new account.

One particular night he called me up panicking. He was completely smashed and begging for me to come over. He told me he would pay a few hundred dollars to pose as his girlfriend for one night, to impress some friends coming in from California. I didn't know whether to be insulted or laugh. Pay me? Bribe me? Seriously? That’s what I was to you? You are out of your mind. Making me feel like the crazy one. He also shut my phone service off one night because I wouldn't answer his calls and he was primary on my phone account. Now I see that I had something he wanted. I was bright and shiny and everything he couldn't be, everything that he wanted to take from. I was a perfect target. But after he had shuffled through all my tricks and the reality set in, he didn't have anything to offer. I’m not saying that I'm perfect, by all means I have a list of flaws longer than my arm but I'm willing to admit when I was wrong and work on it. Maybe I was toxic too. I probably was. I was an incredibly unhealed person which is probably what got me into the situation to begin with. He still sends me requests to this day. He still tries to get in. I’m not sure why. Actually, I am sure why. Because someone like that always has to have the last word. He has to know. And no, I won't let him know anything about me. Not where I am, not what’s happening, not how I feel. He gets nothing. Not out of spite or anger or hatred but because a person like that is toxic for you and depletes your energy. They take it and don't replace it. They always have to have you in their sights. Which is odd because don't most people like that use and then ditch you forever? I wish that had been the case.

After we were over he started talking to my best friend who he regularly spoke bad about when we were together. I’m not sure if they are still together but I do know that he might have used her as a way to get back in with me, or get information or god knows what. How could he be with someone who he spoke so badly about before? My best friend of all people? So, I lost her too. I’ve gotten regular messages saying “I know we didn't end on the best of terms but my god can you at least unblock me?” No absolutely not. But you’ll never get that reply from me because thats what you want. To be acknowledged. Just this year, on my birthday, I got a unsolicited snapchat from him. I had re-downloaded the app to give it another shot. The settings weren’t set on “only friends” who could send me messages and one got through. I thought I had him blocked. I thought my settings were different. I didn't even open it. I blocked and deleted the whole thing right away. He doesn't get to see if I opened it, because I didn't. It was my birthday. I was shopping in a department store and my heart started beating fast, I couldn't breathe, I stopped and stood there questioning my reality for a split second. I before I could throw my phone across the store and light it on fire I remember who I was and what I wanted and I blocked and deleted the entire thing. No, I'm not your friend. You saw me at my worst. I was a shivering mess who didn't want to live. Yes, I allowed it but you don't get the last laugh.

After that relationship, I apologized to anyone I had ever burned (or at least attempted to apologize). I reached out to people I left in the dust, who I blocked out, destroyed. I never wanted to repeat this lesson ever again. I’m still balance all of this, understanding when I'm acting in a toxic way and working on letting others in. This summer a friend asked if it’s hard for me. Emotional intimacy. I told her it was, but that it’s getting easier. But I don't think it will ever get easier. I think I will always be afraid to lose myself. I think it’s just the way I am based off my experiences. Maybe one day it will be easier. I’m still working on learning how to be something permanent, something concrete and be okay with it. I’m learning how to draw boundaries and realize when I'm crossing them myself. I’ve learned not to be pulled off centered and not triggered by people like Hunter (who may (or may not) do this on purpose). I’ve healed myself so far (as cheesy as this sounds) but I'm still a work in progress. I’m caring for myself and learned a lot of self love. This relationship made me question my love itself. I thought I was a broken person who couldn't love correctly. I thought I didn't know how to love. I thought I destroyed others. Maybe I did. I will never know for sure. Maybe this was all made up and this whole “healing” thing is nuts, but I know what I went through in this instance and that’s all I'll know. 

[bbqween1]

DERMATOLOGY UPGRADES

Dermatology and other medical professions know how hard it is to speak to a patient about what is going on without them getting confused about the scientific wording. It is hard to communicate with your doctor when you do not understand what the words mean, and on top of that it is hard to get in contact with them because they are so busy. With confusing terminology and a struggle to contact the doctor you also must worry about how they are going to break the news to you without them confusing you or misleading you in any way. These helpful suggestions do not just benefit dermatologists; it helps anyone willing to understand and help others.

SCIENTIFIC WORD UNDERSTANDING

To prevent a patients from getting a missed diagnosis because they didn’t understand the doctors I feel like the doctors should take initiative and try to print out what the word is, and the definition of it so that the patients could understand exactly what's going on. When the doctors explain to the patient what is wrong with them, how is a patient supposed to understand what is going on while they are in shock. Most of the time when someone is receiving bad news about their health the moment that they hear it they go into shock and every sound around them becomes non-existent. Another way to make this a lot easier is for the doctors and nurses to provide counseling for the patient so when they feel like they can handle the news again they'll be able to correctly understand what's going and be able to process without thinking they were diagnosed with something else.

CONTACTING THE PROFESSIONALS

Things doctors are so busy with surgery, attending patients, and other things it is hard for someone to get in contact with them. The doctor is only one person and they cannot get to every

patient when they all have questions, so to help with that situation  an app should be created to talk to the doctors and you should be able to see all of your information like your medical work so you don't have to ask doctors for

your chart, and you will be able to text your doctor if they have any questions. If the doctors cannot respond, then  Still have interns and any the doctor’s disciples. A cool feature on a be  the ability to access any information on other people with the same diagnosis as you. 

BE NICE TO THOSE WHO COUNT ON YOU

Most of the time when a doctor is trying to tell a family bad news, they usually use the “I’m sorry to tell you this but we tried everything we could but they didn’t make it”, then they try to leave as fast as they can or they won’t even go to the family and send a student instead. Since doctors have been doctors for so long, they try not to get attached to patients so when the patient dies, they are not as empathetic as you would think they should be. Out of respect you should be kind to anyone who recently lost someone. You would think that someone would 100% be empathetic to someone if they are giving the news that their family member has passed. It is not often that doctors are blunt with these kinds of news, but it happens a lot more than you would think. To improve these kinds of skills doctor should take a course in communication and sympathy empathy classes. They should also learn a set of lines that they say to all patients so they could have less of a backlash from the things that they say. Another thing that also surprises me is when the doctors will not let some of the patient’s families see each other. It won't be because of the patient is saying they don't want to see them but it's because the doctors would rather have an empty room and not talk to the patients families who probably have a million questions about the situation and just want to learn from a professional so they can have a better time

CONCLUSION

Doctors are here to help us, but they are not always perfect, and as a community we should help give them suggestions on what to do to make their jobs a lot easier and better. Just because they have a degree does not mean that they are better than us and people feel intimidated because they show a higher purpose than a normal civilian. Giving suggestions never hurts and sometimes it helps a lot of people. As a community you can help people recover from tragic times and make it a lot easier for them to get the information that they need understanding how to help.

[bountyofbeads]

"Trump is mercurial in his cruelty, waiting until people are in dire need to punish them, often based on sheer bigotry and racism. Most recently he has refused to let desperate people from the Bahamas enter the United States after their homes were destroyed by Hurricane Dorian."

"He tells his subordinates to break the law as they execute his plans and promises to pardon them if they do so. He fires people on a whim in order to ensure their loyalty. He ignores any restraints on his power as mandated by the Constitution."

Social psychologists explain new research showing Trump supporters are addicted to chaos ⁠— and warn the comedown won’t be pretty(I'm sick and tired of the chaos in the Trump administration. I would give anything to return to the days of "No Drama Obama".)

BY CHAUNCEY DEVEGA | Published September 17, 2019 1:50 PM ET | Salon Magazine | Posted September 17, 2019

Donald Trump is the King of Chaos. He has lied at least 12,000 times since becoming president of the United States.

These lies are often obvious and lazy — such as incorrectly claiming that Hurricane Dorian would hit Alabama and then forcing scientists at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration to parrot his lies. Trump’s lies are made no less dangerous when they happen to be lazy and obvious.

Trump is unapologetic and unabashed in his contempt for American democracy and the rule of law. Many mental health professionals have concluded he is unwell. He lacks impulse control and evidences sociopathic behavior.

Trump acts like a self-styled mob boss — a corrupt bully who forces his subordinates to “kick up” to him.

America’s own spies do not trust our unpredictable president to act responsibly with the country’s secrets.

Trump is mercurial in his cruelty, waiting until people are in dire need to punish them, often based on sheer bigotry and racism. Most recently he has refused to let desperate people from the Bahamas enter the United States after their homes were destroyed by Hurricane Dorian.

He tells his subordinates to break the law as they execute his plans and promises to pardon them if they do so. He fires people on a whim in order to ensure their loyalty. He ignores any restraints on his power as mandated by the Constitution.

Progress is under assault in America as Trump and his allies are overturning the human and civil rights of nonwhites, women, LGBT people, the disabled and everyone else he and his movement deem to be “less than” and the Other.

Chaos is at the nucleus Age of Trump. This chaos and the disruption and destruction it causes manifest in many ways.

Trumpism is a form of backlash politics fueled by white rage at a perceived loss of privilege and power in a more diverse and cosmopolitan world. Trumpism is a temper tantrum along the global color line fueled by anxieties about power and social dominance.

Writing in the journal Contemporary Sociology, Jeffrey Alexander offers this context:

Backlash does not occur because conservative cadres and followers are anti-modern, irrational, or even unusually bigoted. Backlash is triggered, rather, because ideal and material structures of the status quo have been abruptly displaced, and those who occupied those structures wish to return to the time before displacement, when they were sitting and standing in what was obviously, and not just in retrospect, a better place.

In their 2016 article “Trump, Brexit, and the Rise of Populism,” social scientists Ronald Inglehart and Pippa Norris also locate Trumpism as part of a global right-wing movement that is channeling what they describe as “retro backlash.” This is a feeling “especially among the older generation, white men, and less educated sectors, who sense decline and actively reject the rising tide of progressive values, resent the displacement of familiar traditional norms, and provide a pool of supporters potentially vulnerable to populist appeals.”

Trumpism is doing the work of “accelerationism” — an ideology which holds that the destruction of the existing social order must be hastened, regardless of the human cost, so that a new and “better” world can be created. Trumpism is a means through which a right-wing, reactionary version of accelerationism is being enacted in the United States.

Writing in the Guardian, Andy Beckett summarizes the goals of accelerationist thinkers: “They often favour the deregulation of business, and drastically scaled-back government. They believe that people should stop deluding themselves that economic and technological progress can be controlled. They often believe that social and political upheaval has a value in itself.”

Predictably, white supremacists and other right-wing terrorists have embraced accelerationism because they understand it to be a viable strategy for destroying multiracial society.

Going beyond a conceptual framework, new research shows how backlash politics and accelerationism are lived through and experienced by Trump’s supporters — and make clear that Trump’s hold on them will be difficult if not impossible to break.

In their new award-winning research paper “A ‘Need for Chaos’ and the Sharing of Hostile Political Rumors in Advanced Democracies,” political scientists Michael Bang Petersen, Mathias Osmundsen and Kevin Arceneaux show that Donald Trump’s supporters are attracted to chaos and want to inflict it on others. They reached this conclusion by surveying a representative sample of approximately 6,000 people in Denmark (a country with comparatively low political polarization) and the United States.

The researchers asked the subjects if they agreed with the following statements:

I fantasize about a natural disaster wiping out most of humanity such that a small group of people can start all over

I think society should be burned to the ground

Sometimes I just feel like destroying beautiful things

There is no right and wrong in the world

The answers were compiled in an index that Petersen, Osmundsen and Arceneaux label as “Need for Chaos.” They do not bode well for liberal democracy. Nearly one in four respondents, 24 percent, agreed that society should be burned to the ground, while a remarkable 40 percent agreed with the statement, “We cannot fix the problems in our social institutions, we need to tear them down and start over.” Similarly, 40 percent agreed with the statement, “When it comes to our political and social institutions, I cannot help thinking ‘just let them all burn.’”

In their paper Petersen, Osmundsen, and Arceneaux describe their findings as “staggering.” They write:

The extreme discontent expressed in the “Need for Chaos” scale is a minority view but it is a minority view with incredible amounts of support. … A substantial minority of individuals are so discontent that they are willing to mobilize against the current political order to see if what emerges from the resulting chaos has something better in stock for them.

People who measure high in “Need for Chaos” are also more likely to circulate conspiracy theories online. This is done not out of sincere belief but rather from a desire to cause chaos and confusion.

Right-wing authoritarians — a group that strongly correlates with Trump supporters and Republicans — are also emotionally immature. This is the conclusion of social psychologist Alain Van Hiel and his colleagues in their new paper “The Relationship Between Emotional Abilities and Right-Wing and Prejudiced Attitudes.“ Van Hiel explained his findings to the website PsyPost.

The results of this study were univocal. People who endorse authority and strong leaders and who do not mind  inequality — the two basic dimensions underlying right-wing political ideology — show lower levels of emotional abilities.

When one includes the findings of other research showing that Trump supporters and other conservatives) are likely to exhibit what psychologists call the “dark triad” of human behavior — Machiavellianism, psychopathy and narcissism — we must consider the possibility of significant political violence if and when Trump is removed from office.

Donald Trump’s movement is a type of political body. The brain consists of ideologues, whether they work in the White House (like  Stephen Miller), right-wing think tanks and interest groups, the Republican Party, Fox News and other elite groupings. These people see Trumpism as their best chance to destroy America’s multiracial democracy, profit from environment disaster, gut the social safety net, destroy the commons, slash taxes on the wealthy and large corporations, or (in extreme cases) install a Christian nationalist regime.

The muscles, bones, guts and sinew of Trump’s political body are his coalition of white right-wing evangelicals, white suburbanites who do not care about democracy or the country’s overall health as long as their 401(k) accounts continue to grow, and bigoted, rage-filled members of the infamous “white working class.”

Does Donald Trump’s political body and fascist movement have a heart? Yes. But it is an organ incapable of caring, concern, empathy or concern for human dignity. Nevertheless, the Trumpist heart beats hard and fast.

Last Friday, the Wall Street Journal presented an intimate profile of the beating heart of Trump’s political body. These are his superfans, people who have attended dozens of Trump’s political rallies, traveling all over the country to show devotion to their Great Leader.

Donald Trump is their drug. And like other drugs he fills an emotional, spiritual and intellectual void for his supporters:

All of them describe, in different ways, a euphoric flow of emotions between themselves and the president, a sort of adrenaline-fueled, psychic cleansing that follows 90 minutes of chanting and cheering with 15,000 other like-minded Trump junkies.

“Once you start going, it’s kind of like an addiction, honestly,” said April Owens, a 49-year-old financial manager in Kingsport, Tenn., who has been to 11 rallies. “I love the energy. I wouldn’t stand in line for 26 hours to see any rock band. He’s the only person I would do this for, and I’ll be here as many times as I can.”

Like other addicts, these Donald Trump’s supporters convince themselves that their addiction is somehow good and normal:

Just before midnight on the eve of the Cincinnati rally, about two dozen fans lounged in lawn chairs or leaned on metal bike racks, scrolling through their phones and sipping from cans of Coors Light. A soft brown blanket covered Ms. Barten and her 12-year-old granddaughter, who slept sitting up in her camp chair.

The 57-year-old Air Force veteran’s disability check is reduced by $5 every month by an automatic donation to the Trump campaign.

“We’re not rich by any means,” Ms. Barten said. “But I’ll tell you what: When we’re rich in our hearts with our country and our president, we’re richer than anybody.”

Donald Trump delivers human cocaine for his followers. He is is both a cult leader and a political drug dealer. Inevitably, Trump’s voters will come crashing down from their political cocaine high. Unfortunately, they will not suffer alone in well-deserved and hard-earned misery. Instead, we can expect them will lash out against the rest of the American people and the world in a fit of destruction and chaos.

Chauncey DeVega is a politics staff writer for Salon. His essays can also be found at Chaunceydevega.com. He also hosts a weekly podcast, The Chauncey DeVega Show. Chauncey can be followed on Twitter and Facebook.

[marriagebase]

FEATURE: In Conversation With Allaire Bartel on Boundaries II

With the rise of sexual misconduct accusations towards President Donald J. Trump, photographer Allaire Bartel uses her platform to illuminate on his unaddressed behavior through representation via photography. Upon the 22 accusations of sexual misconduct against Trump, many involved his positions throughout his life, not limited to pageant owner, golfer, campaigner, and now President. From her website which you can find here, Bartel writes in regards to her latest project, Boundaries II. 

My hope is that these photographs cast these accusations in a new light and show the gravity of them in a way that a news story can’t. They are my plea to everyone who sees them to not only go out and vote, but to vote armed with knowledge, empathy, and purpose.

Allaire Bartel for Boundaries

Here at Resource Magazine, we asked Bartel on her thoughts surrounding her most recent Boundaries II piece and more.

Allaire Bartel

Resource Magazine: Your intention is very clear regarding how you decided to approach your project. It’s a difficult intersection, politics where politics should not be an issue, and art. With how impartial and far-reaching the content matter is, have you received any responses that attempt to shut down or debase what you demonstrated in Boundaries II? If so, how have you responded to them?

Allaire Bartel: I did receive the response that the project is essentially partisan propaganda and that by only focusing on one political figure it doesn’t look at the whole picture or acknowledge the sexual assault/harassment allegations leveled against Democrats. In a sense that’s true; taken literally, the series illustrates the many allegations against Trump, that is so consistent his guilt hardly seems to be a question, and yet he’s faced no consequences and remains in office. I hold Republicans responsible for that. But in a broader sense, the series illustrates putting politics before people and only believing or pursuing action regarding sexual assault allegations when politically convenient, and I think representatives and voters from both parties are guilty of that. So I believe the photos can be commentary on the man, the party, and the problem as a whole simultaneously.

RM: At what point did you decide that this project is something you wanted to pursue? The deferred public and media response concerning sexual misconduct here in our own government is very disturbing, let alone anywhere around our nation and the world. I was wondering if there was any other motivation that led to this project?

AB: I think it was when I learned, not too far into the #MeToo movement, that a majority of Trump voters did believe the allegations against Harvey Weinstein, but an overwhelming majority did not believe or were uncertain about the allegations against Trump. This report stuck with me and got me thinking about the phenomenon of only believing survivors when politically convenient, and I knew I could represent this is a powerful way.

Allaire Bartel

RM: With how frustrating the subject matter is, did you find it difficult to move into some territory based on your own reactions to his actions? Did you find reacting to his actions personally a pivotal part of Boundaries II? 

AB: I think my personal point of view must be crucial to an extent because while there are plenty of people who disapprove of his actions, I don’t think as many would say so in such an overt way. It’s a combination of my strong belief in the subject matter and, I think, willingness to create work that’s openly challenging, kind of shocking and difficult to look at, with the precedence of the first Boundaries project already having a format available for me to build on. But while the project was sparked by frustration, the process of putting it together took a lot of careful consideration and planning and doesn’t feel anything like a knee-jerk, emotional reaction.

How to present the subject matter, what to include and leave out, the technical execution of the photos, and what responses may come up and how to react to them were all factors to consider. Additionally, I experienced a fair amount of negative backlash to the first Boundaries, and it takes some mental discipline to know that you could potentially be setting yourself up for that again and to follow through anyway. On top of all of that, I needed and absolutely relied on a great team that had to both feel strongly about the subject matter and be willing to put themselves out there in the same way. So to summarize, I think my beliefs and background were crucial to the project, as well as those of my team, but all of our combined skills and hard work beyond our beliefs were equally crucial.

Allaire Bartel

RM: Finally, I know Boundaries I dealt with a similar theme of sexual misconduct and harassment via different personal lives and normative roles of women, ranging from a woman at home or in public. It’s frustrating and unsettling how issues of sexual misconduct especially in the workplace are seen as a partisan issue. With this subject hot in politics and debated by both men and women alike, will there be a Boundaries III in the works? If so, what will it envision for a 2019 audience?

AB: I don’t have a concrete plan for my next installment just yet, but I do think I’ll continue to expand the project. Unfortunately, it feels like I could continue Boundaries indefinitely, keep exploring new subject matter, and it will always remain relevant. My interest is to continue to focus on instances of sexual assault and harassment within institutions, where the power of the institution takes precedence over the well-being of the people affected. With that in mind, I’m currently considering the Catholic Church, ICE detention centers, and the American prison system…and I’m open to suggestions!

Follow Allaire Bartel on Instagram and check out her website. Allaire works with both commercial work and personal work examining women’s issues. She is based in New York and Connecticut.

The post FEATURE: In Conversation With Allaire Bartel on Boundaries II appeared first on Resource.

[sportsetcterea]

He Said/She Said/They Said: Why We Can’t Minimize the Concept of Transgender Participation in Sports

"It's a relief that next barrier has been knocked down," says Chris Mosier, the first transgender man to make the United States national track team. He’s right about barrier that his success has broken -- his presence in the cisgender male dominated sphere of track is an astounding and unprecedented affirmation for transgender people, especially athletes. But while his accomplishments prove that trans people in sports can be successfully acclimated into the category of their gender, the politics and policies surrounding trans participation in sports remain as complex as ever.

The concept of gender is a relevant consideration in countless social and political discussions. Accommodating the needs of transgender people has become an object of contention among politicians, advocates, and otherwise vocal and opinionated individuals.  While discussion about trans bathroom and locker room usage has been the most prominent feature of  transgender politics in the media, trans and other non-binary gendered people also face an even broader question of their ability to participate in sports. The governing bodies that advise and regulate athletes, across all categories and levels of sport, owe athletes a sense of unity that clarifies and commits to a position on trans participation in sports in order to work towards solutions for athletes who feel that their gender holds them back from doing what they love.

The International Olympic Committee exists to govern athletes and teams at the highest level of athletic achievement -- the Olympic Games. The IOC, alongside other sports committees, are accountable for creating a fair environment for competition in the world of athletics, and their standards are upheld by the competitive energy between athletes. No player wants to be left at a disadvantage within their sport, but competitors can only do so much to monitor the behaviors of their peers. Committees do what they can to set and enforce rules about fair play, but ensuring a level playing field for aspiring athletes who don't fit their competitor’s mold of a fair opponent when it comes to gender is historically controversial.

The IOC has tumultuous history with gender and testing for biological sex differences. “Gender verification” chromosome tests began in 1968 for the Olympic Games in Grenoble to monitor for male participation in female categories. By 1999, growing backlash about the practice caused a shift from its previous form that subjects all female athletes to testing to begin a method target specific individuals in question. The most recent addition to evaluating sex is testosterone testing, which appeared in 2009. These methods have faced criticism over time for being inconsistent, inaccurate, and humiliating to athletes who are selected for the tests. These methods work to support and enforce the IOC stance on transgender participation, which says that Female-to-Male competitors can compete “without restriction” and that Male-to-Female individuals must undergo a process of hormone therapy and meet a standard for testosterone levels.

The IOC’s stance, over time, has largely been informed by public opinion alongside scientific study. The IOC’s most recent stance, which was developed in 2016 and allows transgender people to compete, hits a vein for some athletes who feel that they may be cheated by letting those with an opposite assigned gender into their field of competitors. On the other hand, trans activists believe denying trans athletes full access to the team category that aligns with their gender is a violation of discrimination laws, as well as principles of equality and civil rights. Ambiguity and the failure to create a concrete meaning of what “male” and “female” really mean have always been at the root of the debate of gender in sports. While scientific studies have sought to bring clarity to this issue, the IOC’s ever-changing policy’s illustrate that defining gender and sex is not a simple task. This confusion leaves is what can leave trans and intersex people without a space to compete in some athletic contexts outside of the Olympics, and in some instances, stripped of their former accomplishments.

Intersex is a term used to describe individuals who possess physical characteristics associated with the characteristics of both “male” and “female”, and the volatile sense of placement of intersex athletes within sports is often discussed alongside transgender politics. There are a number of ways in which the sense of biological androgyny can occur for intersex people, including differences in chromosomes makeup and resistance to hormones. The question of IOC’s stance on intersex participation in sports has caused controversy, and some even believe that intersex people should be barred from sport. One athlete who fell in the middle of this tension was track star Caster Semenya, an athlete who identifies as a woman, but has faced criticism after revelations that her testosterone levels are three times higher than expected in women. Semya’s success in track encouraged the IAAF to introduce a policy that requires women with higher than normal testosterone levels to take a pill that reduces and maintains a lower level of testosterone. This move has been subject to criticism from those who believe other physical advantages that occur naturally, like height, are not subject any outside interference.  The dubious place for intersex people in sport contributes to more confusion around the question of how we dictate gender regulations when gender does not fit squarely into the two categories.

An essential piece of security for trans and intersex athletes is unifying policies not only within professional organizations like the IOC, but between pro-level committees and groups that foster the success of young and growing athletes, including the high school level.  Currently there is no nationwide policy for trans participation in high school sports. States and school districts are tasked with forming their own policies, which leads to variation in opportunities for those who are working to develop skills in their sport and create the foundation for the rest of their athletic careers. At the high school level, many states do not require testosterone therapy or sex reassignment surgery for trans athletes to compete in the category of the sex they identify with. While incorporating medical procedures, like hormone therapy, into one’s like can be a long and costly costly process, some consider a medical barrier to entry for switching sex categories as a measure that would ensure less exploitation of an open system. One state that requires no medical intervention before entering a highschool sport is Connecticut. Rahsaan Yearwood, the father of a young, successful transgender track athlete from Connecticut, Andraya Yearwood, believes that the young athletes in question should be able to compete in their chosen category, but perhaps not be allowed to medal. He believes this option gives everyone, including his daughter who did not undergo hormone therapy before joining the high school track team, a fair chance to compete comfortably in the sport they love. "I wouldn't care if transgender athletes who are not on estrogen or testosterone don't get to medal but get to compete. That's a sports story. I'm interested in the human side of this. For people being comfortable and having the space to be who they are wherever they are in whatever fashion they chose. That's what life is really about." Yearwood is not alone in concept of inclusion as a main point in his vision for an ideal solution as other look towards a future with more options for non-binary people to compete in their own categories.

One possible solution that accounts for differences in gender is to create a separate category for athletes who do not fit squarely into the category of “male” or “female”. The proposal has seen strong support from doctors who work closely with gender issues in the sports world. But this potential policy change does not come without fear to social repercussions for athletes who face criticism based on their gender.  Dr. Stephane Bermone from International Association of Athletics Federations supports the addition but believes that the proposal may face backlash from both sides of the issue. “My feeling is also the public is not ready for this. We don’t want to stigmatise athletes. We also have to take into account religious and cultural sensitivities. So basically I am in favour but there needs [to be] some changes in public opinion,”. While incorporating another category into the sports world could be difficult, it may be the solution that gives athletes who feel constrained by hormone regulation the chance to compete.

As the public eye continues to turn its attention towards individuals whose genders lie outside of binary constraints, there is no easy approach to creating a space for athletes who do not fit into the categories of “male” or “female. No matter what decision governing bodies make, its likely to be the wrong decision in the eyes of someone. Ideally, a uniform and universal agreement could be made across the different committees in the sports worlds, which could be updated as science continues to inform us of the potential athletic advantages and disadvantages associated with gender. Perhaps the issue is not how we can alter people’s bodies in order to make them fit into one of the two gender categories, but rather how we can expand the existing categories to include more types of gender than the constricting and overgeneral “male” and “female” classifications. The direction of policy surrounding transgender participation in sports will be best suited for everyone when it decides to take a step away from the ruthlessness of competition to establish empathy for people who want to work hard and succeed at something that they, like millions of other athletes throughout the world, love to do.