#let's go to the koushien together

[lunawings]

Hahah omg, I might have encouraged at least two (maybe three) more people to apply to the foreigner pack for the Koushien Live.

It's still open for a few more hours if anyone else wants to hop on that.

C'mon lets go let's just go see a Love Live concert in Japan together CMONNNN

[mihotose]

out of unit koushien's four hour long live they were probably only on stage for about twenty minutes but they're still tired w but it was fun!

kankan says everyone who supported them is probably more tired than they are, and the three announcers after that

on day 2 everyone doodled on the back of their placard. aqours-senpai started it and then the kouhai copied them, so right before the live started everyone was frantically drawing

kankan wrote "lets have fun, megu-chan!!" as ruri and right before they went out asked konachi to write a reply as megumi, so she quickly wrote "obviously!" konachi had used a black pen but kankan had used yellow, and she started worrying it wouldnt be visible, so she wrote over it in black and then realised it looked like ruri had written the whole thing lol

apparently uichan had drawn a jellyfish and a rabbit on ceribou's...

kankan only thought dollche had drawn an aiaigasa and when konachi told her ceribou had one too she immediately said it was a selfish desire lmao. dollche's came from their feelings matching and ceribou's is selfish

konachi: that person immediately drew an aiaigasa with kaho kankan: really? uisama? as expected w

hasu's representative is normally nonsuke, and she always does MCs with a sense of security, but on day 1 it was uichan, since kozue is club president, and she was really stressed out during rehearsals because she didn't know what to say. everyone was worrying in case she said something strange lol. but it turned out fine! it was very otomune kozue, and they were all glad at how much she's grown. she was actually planning on saying gokigen yo but since they're the kouhai they probably had to be more serious. they still want her to say it in an MC at some point though, maybe at hasu 2nd

kankan thanks konachi for pulling top of the first for the experience of the player's oath and konachi thanks kankan for coming up with the idea for it. at first they wanted to do a skit but everyone told them they're gonna be representing all the school idols there so they cut it. they tried their oath out in front of the other hasu members, mirapa radio staff, and then fujii announcer and toida announcer in front of their dressing room at k arena

what kankan wanted to do was have konachi get up on the stand first, then chase after her like "megu-chan!!! my teacher told me off last week!!! huh? 先週先生？せんしゅうせんせい…せんしゅせんせい…選手宣誓！

they talk about how funny cyaron's player's oath was. kankan also laughs about how it was an acrostic when she was talking about iromono tile in the last episode which was released the same day and was also acrostic. she was amazed how even aqours-senpai, their daisenpai, thought of the same thing!!

they're so glad they could do dododo and that "kyuukai ura no story" was changed to "ikkai omote no story" for it. kankan says ruri likes going to batting centres by herself so dododo has baseball references and so its like a song for The koushien. they also changed the hand gestures in accordance with the line change and practised hard for that

they loved that they were able to perform nonfiction hero show, the song they competed in love live with, at unit koushien

they say they talked to aqours-san backstage for like thirty minutes. shuka-san asked if their hakuchuu à la mode outfits were hot. then arisha-san came and said "its a negligee!?" shuka said she wouldn't suit them but they think she would. arisha-san also made sure to change into her awaken the power outfit before they took a photo together. konachi brags about touching all the feathers on shuka-san's outfit shoulders

konachi brings up how during 55's turn you can hear girls screaming for kumachan konachi: isnt she such an ikemen kankan: wakana-chan yabai yo

konachi: i touched emorin's tummy! kankan: me too! i got so close to aya-chan (they start talking about her tummy)

konachi says on day 2 after zensoku dreamer kankan kept complaining about pain and she was slow going down stairs lol but kankan says she thinks her pain didnt show on her face during their two songs. actually, during rehearsals she wasn't doing deep squats like she did in the proper live, but when she saw how deep emorin was doing them she decided she had to do her best too. the other hasu members (though she specified nassu lol) said to her "if the senpai are doing it, how could the lowly hasu not!" which got her fired up! plus she didn't want to disrespect nijigaku-san!!! ...and then the next day it really hurt... afterwards moepi-san, shuu-chan-senpai, and houmoto-san told her she didn't need to do that

konachi says the moment she loved during zensoku dreamer was when kanchan told everyone to do their best!!! she also pointed out the time kankan was near sitting lol

kankan talks about how much she loved natsumeki pain and she did "ore no megumi" calls lmao. konachi says its the best performance of natsumeki pain she's done and she's so happy her oshi-chan leah-chan was there and she personally wanted to see megu-chan and kasukasu together too so she's so happy she could do that ("don't make her mad by calling her kasukasu" "kasumin kasumin kasumin. kasumin-san") kankan says it was a divine casting. konachi continues with saying yuuna-chan's voice really suits the song and so did suzuhara no nonchan. she loves leah-chan's wink and kankan says nassu, who also loves saint snow, was so happy leah got sayaka's parts

they talk about how refreshing it is to perform with headset mics instead of hand mics and konachi says she kept putting her hand into a fist out of habit

aqours-san had a lot of appearances so they were wondering if they had the time for mirapa to dogeza for them

kankan talks about how friendly shuka is, and that's why they talked for thirty minutes. they were so surprised when she told them how old she is, and then kankan said "wait, i need to respect you more..."

kankan says shuka DMed her asking for permission to post their photo and she replied very formally like "thank you so much for today i learned a lot ill do my best to be able to work with you again thank you again" and then shuka replied "man thats a super polite DM" so kankan replied casually and shuka said "nice!!!"

kankan and konachi say pleasure feather is super fashionable, and so is the choreography

they get emotional over mirapa radio ending soon

yumi-sensei is the first non cast guest!

they call yumi-sensei out for being so polite and she's like "im always like this 😊" and theyre like you're like us!!! they say of all the units she's on their wavelength and she talks to them during practice the most. yumi-sensei says "maybe so."

konachi says at the rehearsal just before the performance of link to the future she made fun of one of kankan's moves and yumi-sensei said "that's ruri's personality! don't say that, megu!"

kankan asks if she actually believes its a quirk but yumi-sensei says personality is important! she likes it! kankan asks what ruri's quirks are and she says kan kanna's quirks

kankan: is it the same for tsukine kona? yumi-sensei: well, tsukine........ kona-chan you did dance, right? konachi: a little yumi-sensei: right. so she can dance (confused kankan noises) konachi: so her quirk is she can't dance?

konachi explains that for people who dance, the first thing is getting into the rhythm and figuring out how to do it. its not like kankan can just copy that. rather, ruri's personality is conveyed through kankan's inexperience. when she looks at ruri she sees big movements and hard work and she thinks its cute

they get a letter about yumi-sensei having been with love live since the μ's days. yumi-sensei says its somehow been ten years already

it takes yumi-sensei about two weeks of listening to a song on repeat to choreograph it but she does work on many songs at a time and have lots of rehearsal sessions

konachi asks what her favourite hasu song to do was and she says trick & cute, though she thinks its a pretty tough dance. she also says mirapa's songs are really chaotic but she wants to try them for herself

yumi-sensei says she doesn't think they put on their tension. as in, their tension at rehearsals and during performances is the same

kankan says konachi is easy to understand, and yumi-sensei says she admires people like that. she's jealous of people who don't care what other people think. kankan agrees and says mirapa is supported by konachi being like that. konachi says kanchan's impatience motivates her to be the reliable one. kankan says konachi is surprisingly reliable. konachi's peace of mind gives her a sense of security. for kankan, the fun comes after the nerves, but for konachi, the fun comes first. she thinks konachi does get nervous, but the fun beats it, which allows her to be calm. when kankan looks at her, she makes her feel like their live is gonna be a success

they ask yumi-sensei about the strength of the two of them combined and she says ruri has a chaotic, party like feel, while kona-chan feels like a modern day girl, so its like together they create a brand new era. its a clash of personalities. konachi says kanchan has a more explosive personality while hers is more flat. kankan says they're really like megu and ruri, and konachi says that's what she was thinking during nonfiction hero show. like, megu thinks just because its love live it doesnt mean she has to put all of her energy into it. yumi-sensei praises konachi for thinking so much about songs. that's love!

kankan: do you have anything you want us to improve on? yumi-sensei: do you have anything in mind? kankan: i want to get bigger (kankan explains she wants to perform abroad!)

kankan says she thinks YYY and aqours-san were amazing at unit koushien, and konachi thinks its because of their gaze. like obviously they and aqours-san are on different levels of dance ability, but she thinks what's different is where they're looking. their eyes don't move around, so their performance becomes a work of art, whereas mirapa keep looking back at each other. yumi-sensei says that they are able to convey what they want through their eyes because they have one thing they want to deliver, and that strength comes out through their gaze

konachi says that when she performs her mind wanders. like she starts thinking about how her muscles hurt or something, so she thinks she needs to dance until the thoughts are gone. yumi-sensei praises her and konachi says maybe unit koushien made her grow a little. though it has been a year by now lol (yumi-sensei tells her to prepare from rehearsals with that idea in mind now she's figured it out) kankan says her issue is she gets excited seeing all the penlights since they don't see them during rehearsals so she looks around at them all lol. but also when she talked to furirin-senpai ruby comes to mind first, so maybe that's also a difference (yumi-sensei says theyve realised some things and now mirapa is going to change)

"what's important while dancing?" "just move your body without thinking about it" (noises of protest)

yumi-sensei tells them to practise until they don't think anymore. kankan and konachi say they'll practise hard for hasu 2nd and yumi-sensei tells them not to keep that as words. kankan: i love practice. yumi-sensei: which do you like more? talking or practising? (long pause) konachi: ...talking...... while moving my body!

kankan says theyre running out of time so she would like to ask a difficult question on behalf of the two of them!

"who's your hasunosora oshi?"

yumi-sensei says there's a moment in dream believers where kaho looks at everyone that made her feel like kaho is her oshi. but her oshi point for ruri is on your mark and for megu natsumeki pain. kozue's oshi point is deepness, tsuzuri is a cool character so her oshi point is how cute she is when she smiles, and sayaka's is how mature and reliable she is even though she's the youngest. she goes back to kozue to say she feels like everything will be fine if you leave it to her

before giving them their point yumi-sensei asks if theyve learnt anything and kankan goes "everything"

they say ishin denshin is a difficult song to sing but its fun. kankan says it reminds her of how amazing dollche are. konachi says its like sparkly spot the way they have to harmonise with both the top part and the bottom part. kankan says mirapa are compatible but dollche are *amazing* so they have to do their best

also, the cover art is their actual seating positions. and the guests always sit next to megu-chan (*konachi). konachi says she doesn't have space on her side but they come to her anyway ☆ kankan protests and says when guests ask where they should sit they tell them the seat next to konachi!!! "i think its because they love me" "are we fighting?" (immediately go back to talking about ishin denshin like nothing happened)

they talk about how bang you gravity was written by ruri to bring megu back. konachi says its different since megumi isnt back yet, its just ruri thinking about her. they both expected megumi to sing the "korekara mo tonari ni iru ne" at the end but its nice that it was ruri. kankan says the lyrics are a little different, and maybe she's overthinking it but since there's a line about a swim ring she thinks maybe ruri wrote it at the beach training camp. she thinks ruri really worked hard on it and that she spent a long time thinking about their childhoods for it

staff asks how recording went and kankan says she recorded it while kahomegu were messing around lmao (starts singing happy shijou shugi) "shut up!" (happy shijou shugi continues) (kankan joins in on a line)

konachi says they didn't call as much during the shuffle and kankan says shes just easily influenced lol. konachi says that since she was doing kahomegu at the time kankan should have been doing tsuzururi, and kankan says she was actually on LINE with tsuzu-paisen a lot... oh, not tsuzu-paisen, kotoko-chan

kankan randomly brings up that konachi sent her a message on LINE when ruri had her first solo stream, which made her really happy, but she didnt send her anything for the following streams. but! she did send her a message for ruri's last solo stream of the year with a ruri nuigurumi! so that made her think how much she loves konachi. konachi then gets mad kankan didn't send her anything about megumi's last stream of the year so kankan says she will with the archive lol

they talk about how much they both love maharajamboree. konachi says it includes everything that mirapa wanted to do. they say recording it was really fun because of the style of singing

kankan says episode 17 is one of her favourites. ruri-chan has grown a lot. she always felt tsuzururi were good friends but after forming a unit its like ruri was able to figure out what she wanted to convey to megu-chan. its amazing how tsuzuri is a little odd but so straightforward, and how she passed on the lesson from sachi-senpai, who invited her to be a school idol, to her kouhai

konachi says, as a megu-tou, she wants megu-chan to stay the same. however, for ruri who followed megu and stays with her, it expanded mirapa's range to people megu couldn't reach, while retaining their good points. megu-chan changed her mind about studying abroad thanks to ruri who worked hard with tsuzuri, so she feels what was already a strong relationship has grown and become even stronger. it was a good fight that led to growth. kankan agrees, and says megu-chan isn't wrong, but ruri has her own ideas too

konachi says recording ishin denshin made her really hungry while kankan said it made her want to sleep like ruri as if she'd run out of battery

kankan said she was glad she watched the last update of episode 18 at home because of how much she cried from dakishimeru hanabira a capella

they say the dakishimeru hanabira card voice lines are crazy and how they want goods of sachi-senpai!!

they decide they have to run around properly for their tension line since its the last episode!

they have to do a quiz about what previous guests answered in the Q&As lol

they get furirin's question wrong so kankan says senpai isn't allowed to listen and they'll have to apologise when they see her again

they ask for another go and they're running through options and konachi's like "you have a tiny furi-san in your head?" and kankan's like "yeah, like an imaginary friend"

(fail the second time) kankan: its over its over its over its over...

they fail the third time

shuu's question is how their tension line is translated into english and konachi just says "no idea." kankan goes "this... this... this... appointment... we are mirakura park... this... to here, to here..."

they asked shuu for the translation during hasu 1st but they couldn't read it so they had to ask nonsuke for furigana lol

after a hint from staff they (*kankan. konachi gave up) go with "we... feeling... appointment here to here. we are mirakura park" (❌)

kankan's second try she goes with "our feel here to here, we are mirakura park" (❌)

konachi remembers 天才配信者 is "a genius livestreamer" at least!

they get aikyan, agupon, emitsun, kumachan, and yumi-sensei's questions right!

agupon's question was about her answer of "making dreams come true with you" and they say agupon's あなた is cute and different to uisama's lol

they read letters mourning the end of mirapa radio and kankan says they don't know anything about its future either! konachi says she wants to know why they keep getting these extra points lmao

as she's said before, konachi can't believe this is work. she just feels like its an extension of their chats when she has food with kanchan. kankan says they did it since ruri and megu are childhood friends, to deepen their bond, but shes so glad to listen to stories that could only be told here, from their senpai and from konachi, and she had so much fun with konachi and the other members who all also love the radio

staff gives them an extra script here about what the points are for (you can really hear the excitement in their voices when they read it out)

staff gives them eighteen cards, each with one character. they can spend one of their points to turn over a card and guess what the prize is (and they hit eighteen points from the quiz earlier!)

mirapa radio will have a public recording!

konachi says she really wanted to do one, she even wrote it for her kakizome. kankan says she wants live letters, as in they get questions from the audience by passing out a mic

after their final thanks to the listeners and their senpai (konachi also shouts out kanchan for picking up the slack when she was tired or hungry. if it werent for her she probably would have had to try harder w) they leave the supplementary lessons room

im like totally done for. started listening to mirapa radio. (havent listened to a love live radio since uraraji in 2017!!!)

*the title of episode 1 was "we've been waiting for 1.5 years!" which is true. they were cast in early 2022 and were training for a year before debut

the first time kankan and konachi met in person they had a dance lesson and konachi was just So ☆ Tired she Had to have a nap on kankan's lap ♡

however the actual first time hasu all met konachi did it remotely and she remembers kankan as a strange person with a loud voice and big body language w ("eh shes my partner...?")

if they mess up dododo in practice they have to do it again ten times on the spot, and since kanchan says shes a bad dancer shes had to do the intro choreo a lot

they listened to ep 1 of the radio while getting their makeup done for the bloom the dream live

kankan then came to record ep 2 of the radio wearing the bloom the dream live tshirt (meant as a surprise for konachi)

the beginning of bloom the dream where they entered the stage matching the video of their member was hard for kankan as well w since she has to match ruri's doyagao (ten rep system applied here too)

since the dododo outfits are sleeveless and kankan doesnt wear sleeveless clothes she was worried about her upper arms and was asking their dance teacher how she could lose weight there who was like eh... idk...

konachi likes how even though dollche's AWOKE outfits are black they glitter when the light shines on them

konachi thinks nonsuke is so cute and keeps trying to make her do cute things lol (kankan: uichan will get mad!)

kankan: its like i dont want bad things to happen to her... like if an evil organisation comes ill get rid of them for her

when they first performed hakuchuu a la mode everyone cheered so loud they were worried they would drown out the "1,2,3!" at the beginning but then everyone quietened down really quickly

kankan: megu-chan's voice is like gentle and sweet while ruri-chan is like spice

about ameagari street kozue: kankan "what are you thinking about when you look at tsuzuri-senpai, kozue-senpai?"

they gushed about kozue with her hair down in episode 8 and kankan said she wants to see kozue with megu's twin tails. they are looking forward to seeing kozue with her hair down in the future please!!!

favourite dollche song: konachi - tragic drops; kankan - sparkly spot

favourite ceribou song: konachi - mix shake (she likes the towel waving and the choreo)

they love how kozue and kaho's voices blend together and the suisai sekai outfit obi and pompom rings and hair accessories

konachi said she doesnt really like formal language so asks everyone to write casually in the letters from now on ☆

kankan was about to eat her favourite dashimaki tamago from her bentou when konachi came up to her and said あ～ん so kankan was like i have to give this to her now!

and then again, kankan was drinking ramune and konachi did the same thing, so kankan brought it to her mouth and konachi bit her finger

"she was out of control earlier but it seems shes calmed down now for the broadcast"

they make that "sorry... i love you" / "every day is a holiday 😊🎵" joke

hasu is mostly neko-ha but kanchan is inu-ha. she likes chow chows like ruri

they read an example letter for a future corner about someone who can have conversations with cats on the street. cats dont like kankan but they say kocchan is the type of person like in the letter. she has been getting closer to kocchan's cat recently though!

konachi likes tsuzuri and kozue in ameagari street tsuzuri ♡ and how in ameagari street sayaka sayaka is smiling but kaho has a doyagao

kankan thinks deepness kozue takes place in the first half of the story, and they think its amazing how the number of kozue+tsuzuri cards are increasing

kankan also likes how kaho has her face in her hands in deepness sayaka lol

kankan wants a second years song while konachi wants a first years song. they think eien no euphoria suits the second years but not the first years

kankan nonsuke uichan and nassu went out the other day and kankan sang dododo with uichan and nassu. afterwards uichan said only mirapa can sing that song since its so different to what ceribou has lol

they say kocchan actually suits mirapa songs and want her to sing dododo or hakuchuu a la mode

(they also want shuffle units!!)

they found it funny that kozue called kaho and sayaka かすがい and the thumbnail that was used for ep 8 on the twitter lol

kankan falls asleep to videos of people having barbecues. konachi falls asleep to asmr videos of turtles eating watermelons

konachi doesnt think hasu could go camping together; it doesnt suit the second years. uichan can cook but shes very particular about her spices and such. but the first years could camp together

in ep 7, the one released just after ruri's first appearance in the main story, konachi starts it by herself by reading a letter from kankan which transitions into kankan reading it herself. konachi finishes it and says "alright! ill do my best on my own this time!" before kankan cuts in like "im actually here!!!!" and the radio background image changes to the usual mirapa one

the sehasu cooking episode surprised kankan because shes always heard konachi burns things shes frying and konachi said she got scolded for burning fried rice one time and has never tried it since but as they made a dessert it turned out fine ☆

kankan said everyone was laughing at how she peeled the dragon fruit but she doesnt understand because she doesnt know how youre meant to do it!!!

[probably being told by a producer] kankan: eh it seems youre meant to cut it with a knife konachi: ehh.. oh well!

even though dollche's cooking was such a mess they said it actually tasted good. konachi has been looking for the sweet potato butter they used

kankan's mom tried to make ceribou's dish but it was bad .

they received a letter in kansai-ben and talked about how you wouldnt expect uichan's from kansai. she seems to try her best not to let her kansai-ben slip out. nassu is from kyuushuu but doesnt seem to speak hakata-ben. konachi said she got interested in dialects once and tried to learn how to speak in some

they think the girls look good in light blue like the penguin ice outfits and their summer uniforms

"the number of tsuzukozu illustrations has increased"

konachi: there isnt a moment where fujishima megumi is not cute

"itd be nice if we streamed games someday"

ceribou = run, dollche = can, mirapa = fun

kankan would get ruri a pink bat from the batting centre

"what would you get megu-chan?" "permission to leave the [waiting] room"

kankan wants to join a circle for the grand prix but since her username is kankan its obvious its her lol

konachi realised on your mark (6 members) doesnt have any english but deepness (4 members) has a lot so maybe mirapa is holding them back...?

on haunted houses: kankan and konachi - dont like them; nonsuke - afraid of the dark; uichan - trustworthy!!; nassu - the type to not freak out; kocchan - probably not a big reaction even if she was scared

kankan made fun of nassu during the nama but she also hasnt gotten a LOVELIVE... shes also bad at turning off auto

the day before the exercise measurement sehasu kocchan practised all the tests

the genyou yakou/mirage voyage cards - sayaka's is the best of course. kankan also likes how kozue is looking at the sales even though shes an ojou-sama lol "its her commoner side"

besides staying together when they went to kanazawa hasu have never had a sleepover so they want to have a training camp! (kankan: beach; konachi: mountains)

"i want us to have a barbecue!" "we already had one?" "oh yeah"

they filmed all three sehasu vlogs on the same day! mirapa in the morning dollche in the afternoon ceribou on the evening. after they finished filming mirapa had mcdonalds

they made fun of nassu putting the camera on the floor during dollche's though since it made it look less like a vlog lol

"if tsuzuri played basketball everyone would fall in love with her" (about tsuzuri playing basketball in the sports festival)

cast at sports festival: nassu - team leader; nonsuke - cheerleader (like kaho) doing a soranbushi. they dont see the second years doing it -> afternoon tea festival (kozue would win)

the hasu audition was on the same day as konachi's third year either cultural festival or sports festival and so she skipped it to go to the audition

they like dollche's songs but theyre so hard they cant sing them at karaoke

"was there anything a cast member said to you that made you happy?" "when you said its easier to sing when im with you"

kankan likes when kocchan praises her during afureco or when uichan says her singing is stable. konachi just saying good morning to her makes her happy. she had a deep conversation with nonsuke on the train the other day and that made her happy

"we actually dont watch the story we watch it the same time as everyone else. so when its released we all watch it at once and get excited on LINE"

megu as an appliance would be a mic/camera -> laptop

splash!!!! kozue looks like a mom lol

nassu and sayaka both suit ponytails

"i want to dedicate my year as a twenty year old to megu-chan"

seishun no rinkaku is konachi's new favourite dollche song

kankan: since we became five or six we usually dont have a tsukkomi in the cast konachi: everyone's a boke right kankan: wait it was probably the same when there were four members

when it was four members sometimes kocchan would tsukkomi but now konachi (megu) has joined properly kankan was really happy since she loves konachi's tsukkomi

they didnt know that the qr code at the end of ep 10 was there until they saw people talking about it and hadnt actually scanned it for themselves. kankan didnt know how to read it so konachi told her how to do it and when she figured it out she Gasped

theyve both watched ep 10 multiple times and konachi cried

that day they ate sweets and konachi gave her the wrappers and when kankan took them to throw away everyone around them was like "kan-chan what are you doing?" and when kankan is in a room konachi will wait outside the door <- konachi's strange behaviour

dododo was recorded before the story so kankan didnt think it would be an emotional song but as the story came out and it made nonsuke cry she realises it is after all

when recording it they were told to sing it in a bright and a bit silly way instead of putting emotions into it (like ceribou) but konachi likes it like that. megu-chan would rather sing it in a cheerful way

the first time she recorded it kankan used up so much energy she had to lie down on the sofa lol

they loved tsuzuri's training camp radio. since there was no video you have to imagine whats happening

konachi sent kankan a sound file on LINE and kankan thought konachi had written a song since mirapa radio was ending (since kankan likes writing songs) but it was just a cut of kankan speaking in dialects from past radio episodes Lmao

after megumi sings 後押ししてくる in natsumeki pain sayaka gives ruri a little push towards megu, and after that when ruri sings 砂浜に書いた メッセージ 届け she writes LOVE

kankan didnt realise until konachi told her just now that during the line 早く気付いて #Love you! each of the girls (sayaka->kaho->ruri->megu->kozue->tsuzuri) writes one of the characters in "#Love♡"

since ruri was given the o kankan just thought she was drawing a circle lol

they received a letter about tongue twisters and kankan struggled in rehearsals with kokon touzai

natsumeki pain ruri has a chow chow strap on her waistband so kankan says she wants it to be released as goods

[anophiles]

happy pride, ball is life

Ryousuke is neither big nor little spoon, he’s a knife, pass it on

[katsura018]

Sawamura: Hey, did you ever fantasize about something when we were in high school? I used to fantasize about my pitch magically tuning into a bird and goes back to a ball when it's near the batter!

Miyuki: Heh~ mhmm... Well, since it's a fantasy. There was one.

Sawamura: What is it?! Come on!

Miyuki During practice, in the baseball club's storage room, you and me, in our sweaty uniforms... doing pervy stuff. *smirk*

S: ...

M: ...what? It's a fantasy, right?

S: ...You dare call yourself a captain?!!!!!

Bonus:

M: The current team is going to koushien, how about we go together and bring some stuff at their practice match at school?

S: Let's go! Let's go! I wanna hurry up and go!

M: Bring your old uniform too.

S: Huh? Why?

M: Let's turn our fantasies into reality.

S: That'd be a crime!

[catcherkazuya]

👑♦️ daiya no ace liveblogging episode 48 ♦️👑

- omg there is no reason that sawamura should be slippin like this - did we not just see the go exceed montage ?? 

- all that training and hard work and practice and sweat and running and fuck! - I'm glad others are backing him up and getting their time to shine too - but like c'mon ?? He just got this ace number - this is beyond just anxiety terajima - you making our eijun suffer a little too much 

- ZONO'S AURA 😳 - the coach's encouragement to sawamura warms my heart! 

- oh myyyy - why we gotta keep going back to the off roster third years?? I wanna cry just looking at them 😭 - they a deserve to be on the team!!!  I wish baseball teams could have a 40 person roster 

- miyuki still looking at that coach like 🤨 - everyone telling sawamura to get his shit together - HE'S TRYINGGG - c'mon seidou don't let this team fuck up the rhythm - okay my rant is starting - THIS IS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

- SAWAMURA IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE SHINING ACE

- AND TERAJIMA FUCKED HIM OVER - FOR WHAT FOR WHAT ?? - TO PROVE A POINT?? THAT SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE HAVE FAILURES?? - why the fuck does sawamura have YIPS 2.0 ?? - that was some first season crap NOT THIRD SEASON - HE 👏🏾 DOES 👏🏾 NOT 👏🏾 DESERVE 👏🏾 THIS 👏🏾 SHIT - This is not the time! - we're 🤏🏾 THIS FUCKING CLOSE SIR - didn't you hear coach? One and done, no more games, no koushien, no NOTHING - terajima out here trying make us sweat - DISRESPECTFUL 😤 - you have your moments as an author and a writer to make shit interesting but this is just a disservice to sawamura as a character - I was angry when i read it and I'm even more angry to see it animated - okay rant over I'm good now this week's end card ♦️

[multiversal]

it isn't quite a lie, telling mouri-san he needs to borrow conan for case, that he needs to keep it between himself and the apparent child. the disappearance of kudo shinichi has been something he's looked into briefly since his mentions at the detective koushien, before letting it drop. as far as he could tell, the other had wanted to vanish off the face of the earth, following some mysterious case of his own. it wouldn't have surprised saguru if people in japan had thought the same about him.

that is, until he met kid, claiming to be kudo himself, miming out the words edogawa conan was speaking through his bowtie voice changer. it should have been impossible. there was no logical explanation for the connections he had made, but there was also no denying that it felt correct - just as correct as connecting kuroba to kid always had. research and careful questioning around nakamori and megure only solidified those suspicions.

he gave a quiet nod to megumi-san as he made his way to his usual table - the best for people watching, and the most likely to get kuroba to actually join him. "conan-kun, i'm not going to insult your intelligence by circling around the subject. i put certain things together during the last case with kid." his voice is low so only the other could hear it. "and i admit, there are certain things that don't make sense to me about it. but the conclusion i came to is that kudo shinichi was, in fact, at the heist."

@tumblestones.

" oh , hakuba-san , it's nice to see you again. did you need something ? " ran's greeting chimes loudly throughout the agency , and conan looks up from where he was working on kiddie homework at the table. ( as a way to stave off the boredom , conan was calculating the amount of problems he needed to get wrong to get a solid 優. ).

hakuba must have answered quietly enough that conan couldn't hear , but ran , in response , calls out to conan to come to the door. curious , conan puts away the homework on the desk and comes to see ran and hakuba in the doorway. apparently , hakuba wanted to talk to him alone. conan nods his agreement to ran when she requests him to text him if he was going to be out past dinner , wondering what hakuba might have wanted. ( it might not even be hakuba , but he also can't think of a reason why kid would visit. ).

they leave the agency and start walking until they hit a café that seemed to be hakuba's destination. judging by the smile of the barista when they walked in , hakuba was a regular , and one that was well-liked. they sat at the table that had the best view and the most defensible position of the entire café. which , honestly , made him think that this might be kid rather than hakuba. he eyes the blonde for any hint , but there's nothing that suggests he might be a fake.

[splitpush]

[ENG] 銀の匙 | Silver Spoon 131 (final chapter)

I’ve loved Gin no Saji for many years. I wanted to provide a roughly-translated manuscript for any other English-speaking fans that are still waiting for the finale to this beautiful manga by Arakawa-sensei. I supplemented my translation using the Chinese scanlation provided here by lumosmoon and typeset by 王少. Page numbers correspond to numbers on the side of the pages in the raw scans.

If anyone is interested in typesetting this translation to the manga, please link this post and credit me under the name “hachiko”, thanks! Enjoy & please excuse any errors.

[page 1~3]

Hachiken: The big blue sky. The gold-coloured lands. A blurry horizon. A smart phone with no signal...

Subtitle: A coming-of-age story built from tears, sweat, and dirt has finally come full-circle in a 32-page finale!!! In this endless field washed in gold... For a boy who was once unable to visualize what would come in the future, who disliked having a dream... His future is beginning to sprout at last.

Hachiken: Where... am I...?

[page 4]

Narrator: The answer is... Russia. [big arrow] Specifically, here. [small arrow points to Ezono]

Subtitle: Even though Hachiken has finally grown up a little... he still gets lost!! A bad sense of direction that transcends international borders.

Hachiken: “If you follow ‘this path’ we’ll see each other...” is what he told me. But are you kidding? This is RUSSIA!!! (text on the road: “THIS PATH”) Brings me back to the memory of that day in the summer of first year, when I had to walk along the path between Mikage Ranch and Komaba Ranch… Even if it’s one road and I won’t get lost, it probably won’t be without incident… Aren’t there bears here in Russia? Tigers? (Also it’s Russia!)

[page 5]

Subtitle: The last chapter of this coming-of-age story opens in the far east of Russia! Accompanied by the low rumbling of thundering machinery, what approaches Hachiken…!?

A familiar person’s back: So you really came, Hachiken!

[page 6]

Hachiken: Komabaaaaaa !!!

Komaba: Hey. You got lost, didn’t you?

Hachiken: Even if I don’t get lost I’d still encounter some kind of trouble!!!

Recap: After graduating from Ooezo Agricultural High School, Hachiken & co. went their separate ways. Now, four years later, his friends have gathered at Aki’s place while she is studying at Chikudai. But Hachiken, also at Chikudai, is nowhere to be found… 

[page 7]

Komaba: If… you could see the mountains, you would know how to get your bearings...

Hachiken: Ah-- In our 360-degree visible radius there is not a single hill or ocean, and all I see are fields. I’ve never seen anything like it in Hokkaido.

Komaba: Hachiken, why did you come dressed so formally?

Hachiken: You were the one that told me there was an interesting business proposal!! Please take my business card!

Komaba: In recent years, Amur Oblast has started to do agriculture-related business with the banks in Hokkaido.

Hachiken: Japan-Russia relations?

Komaba: Yup. A joint venture between the Japanese banks and Amur Oblast. How do I say this, I don’t know if Russians are full of heart or simply rough-handed, but the motto they have here is basically: “sow as you please, and reap as you please”.

Hachiken: Oh… 

[page 8]

Komaba: Due to the effects of global warming, the eternally frozen fields are now arable. And so a Russian dude casually told me to “do as you please” with this huge piece of land.

Russian dude: So you want to use the land? Sure, provided that you can speak the language, have the work ethic, and drink the vodka with me!

Hachiken: Hoho….

Komaba: So I started using the methods we used commonly in Japan to grow soy on the land. In our first year, the crop yield suddenly increased by 50%.

Hachiken: Just how “do as you please” were these Russians before this!!!

Komaba: We are leading the way carefully. With all the knowledge that we’ve accumulated,  we can of course lead carefully.

[page 9] 

(Russian) Kid: ICHIRO -- !! Kid: Done work yet? Komaba: Yup. Kid: Then let’s play some baseball! Kid: Teach me how to toss a forkball! Komaba: Tossing a fork requires muscle! Muscle!

Hachiken: I don’t know what they are talking about, but I can tell it’s about muscles… 

[page 10]

Komaba (Russian): Your hands are still too small, so let’s try it first with your thumb and forefinger. Don’t push yourself, or you’ll hurt your wrist.

Hachiken: Komaba can speak Russian!

Komaba: It’s thanks to Alexandra-san. If you wanna work here, being able to speak Russian is a huge help.

Hachiken: It would’ve been nice to learn some Russian. I was shocked that nobody spoke English here.

Komaba: And the language of sports is universal!

Exclamations in Russian: Yeah!! Alright!!

[page 11]

Hachiken: How popular is baseball in Russia?

Komaba: It’s not at all. If I was born here, I coulda gone to Koushien. Just tell the kids a couple stories about forkballs and the Carps, and they’re immediately hooked. I said I would teach them how to play and the parents cleared the land into a baseball field.

Hachiken: It’s a Field of Dreams. Like an oversized Ezono.

Komaba: Speaking of Ezono, Sakuragi-sensei went to a lot of trouble to help me secure my place here in Russia.

Hachiken: Same here, it’s all thanks to Sakuragi-sensei that I was able to find network connections for pig-raising.

Hachiken: Komaba, do you have your own ranch here yet?

Komaba: That’s the plan right now. But there’s still a lot here yet to be developed. Setting up a grain loading operation near Vladivostok, establishing shipping routes with Hokkaido, I think these projects are all pretty cool.

[page 12]

Komaba: We can provide Hokkaido with cheaper animal feed,  and Hokkaido can provide us with resources and agricultural equipment.  A land filled with so much potential, only 1500km away from my hometown.  Something this interesting, who wouldn’t wanna try their hand at developing it?

Hachiken: You’re not scared of failure?

Komaba: Nothing will move forward if you don’t even try.

[page 13]

Komaba: Our ancestors were the same when they pioneered Hokkaido. Thinking about it that way gives me courage.  (Foul ball!) That being said, the people here won’t sell their land to a foreigner. If I want to have my own ranch here, first I’ll have to take a Russian bride.

Hachiken: Really! Komaba is marrying a Russian girl!

Komaba: What about you? (Kids: Strike out!)

Hachiken: Wat

Komaba: Aren’t you thinking about marrying Aki?

Hachiken: Eh...!! We’re still students...!! And I gotta think about Aki’s feelings too, what kind of nonsense are you spouting!! Even though things have been going well!!

Komaba: Shuddup… 

[page 14]

Hachiken: ….“Hachiken Aki” and “Mikage Yuugo”, Which do you think sounds better?

Komaba: “Mikage Yuugo” definitely has a better rhythm to it.

Hachiken: Yeah, I thought so too.

Komaba: Hey, you guys are happy together, that’s all that matters.

Hachiken: Regardless, my pasture-raised pig business hasn’t even taken off yet, so marriage is out of the question right now.

Komaba: As expected, you wanna do everything too properly.

Hachiken: I need to get my accreditation from the university for food hygiene management, then I’ll be able to build my own private processing plant, Hmm, how many years is that going to take… … 

[page 15]

Komaba: Just work on getting your pig-raising business up and running successfully for now.

Hachiken: Eh?

(Russian) Kid: Ichiro’s friend, come play with us too! Kid: Isn’t it boring to just watch?

Hachiken: Huh? What’s this, what this? What, me?

Komaba: Go hit a few. They think everyone from Japan is good at baseball.

Hachiken: As if. But I should be able to hit some balls if I’m playing with kids…  I can’t make a proper stance wearing these shoes anyway, I’ll just take it ea~sy...

[page 16]

Hachiken: YOU! Hey, what are you playing at!!! As if I’ll be able to hit any of your pitches!!! 

Komaba: This is my revenge for the past!

(kids cheering: Ichiro!! Ichiro!!)

Hachiken: You’re totally motioning for a fly-ball, please just let me lose!!

[page 17]

Hachiken: … I wanna go back to Japan… Man at the net: Ball.

Komaba: You’re not going anywhere!

Hachiken: Why did we come all the way to Russia just to play baseball?  Man at the net: Ball.

Komaba: I know right. To think that a certain somebody had no~idea what they wanted to do in the future when they were a first-year in high school. Why do you raise pigs?

Hachiken: How should I know!! Why are you asking this!! Also, wasn’t it you that called me over to Russia because you needed me!!

Komaba: Ah, right, right.

(Russian) Kid: It’s a homerun!! Kid: So cool!!

[page 18]

Komaba: Hachiken. Come raise your pigs in Russia.

Hachiken: Hah?

Komaba: Nice-- that’s a strike! I’ve been following Ookawa-san’s social media. Your pigs, the annual yield has been increasing quite steadily.

[page 19]

Komaba: To be able to produce that yield in a cold climate pasture, it’s a testament to how hard you’ve worked. Here in Russia, Despite the demand for meat, there are very few guys out here raising livestock. If you wanna get in on it, now’s the time.

Hachiken: … …You trying to pull a scam here?

Komaba: Does it really sound like that? To tell you the truth, if you want to raise livestock, this place is literally El Dorado.

Hachiken: If it’s that good, get the local people here to do it!

[page 20]

Hachiken: Hyah!! Man at the net: Strike!

Komaba: Didn’t I say just now, that I wanted to create a connection between Russia and Hokkaido. You’ll stay over there in Otaru, and I’ll be here in Vladivostok.

Hachiken: So you’re not a scammer! You’re the mafia!

Komaba: Refuse and I’ll break you.

Hachiken: You have no right to be teaching baseball to these poor Russian kids!!!

Komaba: I am Ichiro of the Far East.

Hachiken: Ichiro wouldn’t do something like this!!

Komaba: I’m kidding about breaking you, but I’m serious about the rest.

Hachiken: Do you have proof that this is even profitable!?

[page 21]

Komaba: Nope.

Hachiken: Oi!!!

Komaba: Although I don’t, I think it’ll be interesting to team-up with Hachiken. Let’s do it together.

Hachiken: Eh!?

[page 22]

Hachiken: Why did the ball just now drop like that!?

Komaba: Yes, that’s three strikes!! My victory!!

Hachiken: Ah~~~ I’m conflicted~~~~~

Komaba: Well, I guess that’s true. You’ve got your own life to live.

Hachiken: I’m really~ So conflicted~~~ … You know, I, made a promise long ago to never be the guy that would deny someone of their dream.

[page 23]

Komaba: Ah ha ha! That’s you, all right.

Hachiken: Also, raising pigs on such a wide area of land could be interesting… !!

Komaba: Then it’s decided.

Hachiken: Don’t just say that!

Komaba: Japan’s large-scale industry and greenhouse vegetable industry players are already making moves here.

Hachiken: Ah-- and there’s already talk going around about “growing vegetables with pig manure”, so we’ll have a finger in that pie too…. …No, wait, wait!

(Russian) Kid: What are they chatting about? Kid: Hurry up and tell us too--

Hachiken: Eh? What? Ah! You want me to get out of the batter box? Sorry, sorry!

[page 24]

Komaba: ?

Kid (Russian): Okay!

Hachiken: Whew-- gesturing successful! Oi, Komaba!!

[page 25]

Hachiken: Let’s go again, we’ll decide it with the next ball!!

Komaba: … Hah?

Hachiken: If I hit it, everything before doesn’t count! Komaba, if you win this one, As GINSAJI’s representative, I’ll consider this opportunity more closely!!

Komaba: Are you supposing that, I’ll go easy on you?

[page 26]

Komaba: … …Of course. How will ya know if ya don’t try.

Hachiken: All right Komaba, gimme your best shot!!

Komaba: Since you’re getting serious now, I’ll have to get serious too!!

[page 27]

Hachiken: Are you kidding me! Can’t you go easy on me just a little!!

Komaba: Shut up!! Next up, forkball!! You’ve been warned!!

Hachiken: Please just throw in a straight line!! Kyaaaaaa--

[page 28]

Student: Sensei-- Actually, I was thinking about starting my own business.

Sakuragi: Eh! What type of work?

Student: I love to cook and eat tomato-based recipes, so I want to use the tomatoes that we’ve been growing at home to start a restaurant! … But, people around me say that starting a business right out of high school is pretty impossible, I should probably wait until I mature a bit more… 

Sakuragi: Oh! This tomato is delicious!

Student: Right? The harvest from this year came out just as I imagined it!

Sakuragi: Hm. Starting a business after high school. You may face some difficulties indeed. I understand why the people around you are worried.

[page 29~30]

Sakuragi: And it’s difficult for me to advise you on this as well…  -- Is what I would have said a few years back! Among the students that I’ve taught over the years, there once was a guy who was a runaway from the regular high school examination track; he had come to Ezono with zero goals. The minute he set foot on campus, he suffered one hardship after another. He joined the equestrian club after he was invited by a female classmate. Didn’t even have the guts to drop out. He’d never made pizza once, but endeavored to do it in stride. He christened a pig and cared for it with so much love, that when he cooked and ate its meat he bawled his eyes out. During his part-time job, he wasted a ton of milk and bawled his eyes out again. Snuck out of his dorm in the middle of the night and got slapped with toilet duty. Found a dog in the middle of the school and started to take care of it. Couldn’t refuse anybody’s request and overworked himself so hard, He ended up getting sick on the day of the school festival and couldn’t participate. Borrowed money from his friends and bumbled his way onto a ship bound for Russia.

Other teachers: He didn’t board the ship. He didn’t board it.

[page 31]

Sakuragi: He is the record-holder for the lowest score ever recorded at the Interhigh Equestrian tournament. He suddenly decided in December of his 3rd year that he would attempt the university entrance exam. Started dating the girl that he liked but never got her father’s approval.

Students: Wow, just hearing about this guy makes me anxious… Didn’t even get the father’s approval… 

(T/N: sorry, I don’t remember their names edits plz) Teacher: Oh, and don’t forget the boarding house explosion incident. Teacher: Right, right!

Students: What a scary guy.

Student: … and this person graduated without any issues?

Sakuragi: He did indeed. Apart from all of the above, he also started his own business while he was a student.

[page 32]

Sakuragi: And he’s the reason why all of you get to have such a leisurely pizza party like this, every year. If you’re interested in hearing more,

Let me tell you the story of the many different seeds that this man has sown.

[miyako-no-prince]

70 MasaMei and 95 SawaItsuRai ❤💛

thanks for the lovely prompts ❤💛 

the MasaMei got so much longer than I intended these prompts to be, so I’ll do the SawaItsuRai in a separate post

AO3

“After everythingwe’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

The silence thatfollowed was deafening. Mei didn’t even look at him, stubbornly avoiding hisgaze. It said everything, but Masatoshi was determined to make him talk anyway.Maybe if he said it out loud, he’d realize how ridiculous it was. How stupid andunnecessary this whole situation was.

“Answer me, Mei.”

More silence.Masatoshi resisted the urge to sigh, or alternatively shake Mei until he had nochoice but to finally say what he really thought.

As the silencecontinued, Masatoshi wondered if this really had been worth it.

They starteddating a few months ago, and Masatoshi had actually been happy with theirrelationship. They tended to have small fights a lot, but they were alwaysresolved easily enough, never weighing on his mind too much. It was just… everysingle one of them had been resolved by him apologizing, with Mei maybeapologizing back if he felt particularly guilty.

This just wasn’tan accurate representation of who’d caused those fights. 90% - the mostgenerous assumption Masatoshi was willing to make – were purely caused by Meibeing purposefully contrarian, lazy, or annoying.

Masatoshi knew Meiwas prideful and had trouble apologizing, even if he recognized he was atfault. Still, he’d thought wanting Mei to get over his pride just once, forsomething minor at that, wouldn’t be too much to ask. If he insisted just once,and Mei realized this was important to Masatoshi and just said sorry, then hecould shut up the tiny nagging voice that told him Mei wasn’t as committed orin love as he was.

Not wanting torisk any trouble to the team, he’d waited until after summer koushien to gothrough with his plan, and it turned out to be a good choice. Even though thefight had been stupid, and entirely Mei’s fault, and could’ve been entirelyinconsequential, Mei flat-out refused to apologize. Even at the threat thatMasatoshi wouldn’t talk to him until he did. Even at the threat that Masatoshi wouldbreak up with him if he didn’t. Mei just yelled at him and ran away.

At first, Masatoshihad thought Mei would just need some time to realize what happened, and then he’dcome to apologize. But nothing of the sort happened. They didn’t have topractice together anymore, and Mei made sure they interacted as little aspossible.

After a month,Masatoshi had simply assumed that was it, Mei really hadn’t cared much aboutwhat they had. It hurt, but there was nothing he could do.

He’d been resoluteabout staying away and just getting over it, until one night Tadano had knockedon his door, tears streaming down his face as he’d tried to convey the angerand despair he was currently feeling because of Mei. Masatoshi had known Meiwasn’t exactly business as usual at practice, but he hadn’t known just how badit was.

It simply wasn’tfair to let Tadano suffer on his own because Mei couldn’t deal with hisemotions any other way. None of this had anything to do with him. He was justthe easiest target. There was nothing he could do to make Mei behave like adecent human being towards him.

Masatoshi, on theother hand, could at least try. He didn’t know how much sway he still had withMei at this point, but it was certainly more than Tadano.

He’d really intendedto keep their talk focused on Mei’s behaviour toward Tadano, but Mei wasn’thaving it. He interrupted Masatoshi before he even had a chance to finisheverything he’d meant to say.

“Oh, I see, so youcan just use your kouhai who also happens to be your battery partner as you seefit and it’s all fine, but when I do it, it’s bad and I should feel bad? Forgetit. I don’t give a shit about Itsuki, but at least I don’t lie to him and tellhim I love him.”

Which ledMasatoshi to the realization that Mei was absolutely convinced he didn’t lovehim, even if he currently refused to say it directly.

“Mei,” he triedagain, “I’m not leaving until you answer me.”

“Fine,” Meipressed out between gritted teeth, “I know you don’t love me and I knew it fromthe start. Now you can just admit it and then we can be done with this.”

The absolutecertainty in his voice cut straight into Masatoshi’s heart. Mei wasn’t joking,exaggerating, or being dramatic. He believed it. Despite everything, all theirshared moments, movie nights, intimate touches, practice hours, wins andlosses, despite it all, Mei had never fully trusted his love. And Masatoshinever noticed. Never even considered the possibility.

But then, whywould he? He’d told Mei he loved him. Multiple times. Dated him for months. Didhis best to make it work. Mei had never expressed any kind of insecurityeither. In fact, Masatoshi had been under the impression that Mei knew way toowell how loved he was.

Maybe he should’vesaid that out loud, but instead, he asked “Are you an idiot?”

Which maybe wasn’tthe smartest way to go about this. Masatoshi realized it immediately, at least,and added “Why do you think I dated you, then?”

It calmed the furyin Mei’s eyes, at least a little. He shrugged. “I’m cute.” Masatoshi had toagree on that, but in any other situation, he would’ve scolded Mei for sayingit about himself. “You liked the sex.” Also true. But how shallow did Mei thinkhe was? “And I was the one who asked you out. If you told me no or broke up withme, it might’ve affected my performance, and thus your chance at winningkoushien. So you just strung me along until you retired, and I was useless toyou. Didn’t even wait a week.”

So Mei had actuallypicked up on the fact that he’d waited with this until after koushien. He justtotally got it wrong.

“I told you, whatI wanted was just an apology from you. I did wait out koushien on purpose,because you’re right, I didn’t want to ruin our chances, but I didn’texpect you to be this stubborn about it.”

“Bullshit! You cansay what you want, you never cared before if I didn’t apologize over littlethings! You were just trying to find a reason to break up over, and I for surewasn’t going to make it harder for you by actually saying sorry, because unlikewhatever you think, I’m not actually stupid!”

“Yes, you are! Whyis it so hard to understand that I just wanted you to swallow your pride forthe sake of our relationship a single time? It always annoyed me that I have tobe the one to apologize to you even if you were the one starting the fight! Butyou could’ve just fixed that, and we’d have been just fine.”

“No, we wouldn’t!What kind of relationship is it when you’re just annoyed with me all the time,huh? Is that love to you? You wanna get married someday and see your spousecome up to you and say their vows and you think ‘ugh how annoying I wish they’djust shut up’? Is that what you dream of?”

Mei had gotteninto his face at some point, and now that he was talking about marriage forsome reason, a part of Masatoshi’s brain wanted to grab him and kiss him, holdhim close and tell him how much he missed that kind of thing over the pastmonth, but thankfully there was still a larger part of his brain that told himto listen instead, and to respond, so he could figure out exactly what Mei wasthinking. What his actual problem was. And fix it.

“What, so you’remad that I was annoyed when you purposefully tried to annoy me?”

“No! I’m mad thatyou’re annoyed whether I try to annoy you or not! Even when I’m trying to benice! You can’t even tell the difference! All you ever say is ‘Shut up, Mei’!It doesn’t matter if I tell you about something I care about or just try tomake the most annoying noise possible, it’s all the same to you. I don’t knowif you actually think you love me, but I know you already noticed that I just amannoying. Down to my core, it’s who I am. That’s why you don’t enjoy spendingtime with me. Nobody does. Sooner or later, you’ll realize it’s too much, it’sjust not worth it, just like everyone else. I think you already did.”

What started as anoutburst turned quiet toward the end. There were tears glistening in Mei’seyes, and he slowly backed away again.

Panic spreadthrough Masatoshi’s chest. Mei was right here, so close to him, but Masatoshiwas losing him, and he just knew if he didn’t cross the distance right now, he’dnever manage to get a hold of him again.

And he couldn’t finda way to close the metaphorical distance, but his body reacted faster than hismind did, grabbing Mei by the shoulders and holding him in place whileMasatoshi struggled to figure out what to say. Not an easy task when he stillwasn’t sure he properly understood exactly what Mei meant.

“What are you eventalking about?” Masatoshi settled on when the silence was starting to stretchlong enough to be uncomfortable. “You can’t just go and decide these things forother people. Even assuming I don’t actually love you romantically doesn’t meanI don’t like being around you. And what’s with that ‘everyone’? You have plentyof friends, right? Everyone on the team, and your classmates… I’m sure theylike having you around.”

But Mei simplyshook his head. “No. I have people who tolerate and placate me because theyneed my baseball skills, and people who admire me because they don’t actuallyknow me. And I guess I have Kazuya, who’d rather be annoyed than alone. That’sit.”

Masatoshi couldn’thelp but feel a pang of annoyance that Miyuki Kazuya of all people got an extraspot in this listing, while he was presumably lumped in with the rest of theteam in the first category. But he swallowed it down.

“What about yourfamily?”

This time, theresponse was a shrug. “My mom and sisters are all just as annoying as me, so Iguess we can all just comfortably annoy each other. I honestly don’t know whymy dad is still happily married to my mom, I guess he must be some kind ofmasochist.”

“Well, maybe I’m amasochist. You don’t know that.”

While… this wasn’texactly what he’d planned to say – in fact he’d never thought about thisbefore and he was sure he’d found better ways to express what he meant if he’dthought about it for more than a millisecond – it did make Mei look at him forreal for the first time since he’d entered his room.

“What?”

Even if it was alook that was trying to figure out if he had gone completely nuts.

“Um, I mean, inall seriousness, I missed you, Mei.” Yes, that sounded much better, much morelike a normal person. “I honestly missed being around you, and even beingannoyed by you on a daily basis during the past month.”

“I guess thatkinda does make you a masochist.”

“Thanks.”

His voice was dry,but it was actually hard to maintain. He could see the edges of a smile tuggingat Mei’s lips as their bickering progressed naturally as it had so many timesbefore. It was a feeling like coming home, and it automatically made Masatoshihope, even if they still hadn’t really found a resolution to the problem athand. But they were getting there.

In the end, perhapspredictably, Masatoshi simply relented. He pulled Mei into his arms, and didthe one thing he promised he wouldn’t do this time. “I’m sorry.”

“But you said-”

“I know. And I’mnot sorry about anything concerning the small fight we had that led to all ofthis. That was your fault. But I hurt you. I didn’t mean to, I had no idea whatI’d cause, but I hurt you. I still don’t quite understand how you came to yourconclusions or how you feel, but none of that really matters. I’m just sorry,and I need you to know that.”

“I’m sorry, too,”Mei mumbled into his chest, “I was extra annoying because I was trying to seeif you’d keep me around when you didn’t need me anymore. Guess I got exactly whatI asked for…”

The apology fellfrom Mei’s lips so easily, with such a sense of relief, and finally it occurredto Masatoshi that maybe it hadn’t been pride – or at least not pride alone –that had kept Mei from apologizing first for so long. If he really saw beingannoying as part of himself, then of course apologizing felt like apologizingfor who he was, rather than a small one-time thing. And it always carried therisk of getting told the apology wasn’t good enough, that maybe Mei just wasn’tgood enough.

It didn’t exactlysolve Masatoshi’s initial issue, all it really did was complicate finding asolution they’d both be happy with, but Masatoshi figured it would be muchbetter to look for one together than stay apart out of misplaced anger, prideand hurt.

“Mei, I’ll alwayswant to keep you around, as long as you want me by your side as well. Let’sjust… talk, okay? We’ll figure something out, together. So we won’t ever bothbe sad and lonely for a whole month for no reason again.”

Mei nodded againsthis chest. “Okay. Yeah, that sounds good. But, before we do that, can I kissyou?”

“You missed that,huh?”

“Oh, you have noidea.”

“I’m pretty sure Ido.”

Before Mei couldfigure out his next retort, Masatoshi bent down, gently tilting up Mei’s chinwith his hand, and pressed their lips together.

They practicallymelted together, and finally, after a month of everything feeling out of place,the world was right again.

 Bonus

They ended upcuddling on Mei’s bed and talking way into the night, about their feelings andissues and experiences all the way to their perception of the world, and it waspossibly the closest Masatoshi had ever felt to someone in his whole life.

Just when theywere both about to fall asleep though, he remembered why he’d chosen to go toMei in the first place.

“I almost forgot,but you really have to stop treating Tadano as bad as you did. I know you wereupset, but he has nothing to do with this.”

Mei groaned. “Iknow. I was just trying to get him to hate me. He looked like he was admiringme when I was just feeling shitty about myself and it pissed me off. I wantedto disappoint him in the worst way possible.”

“Well, I don’tthink it worked anyway. He was totally desperate, but he kept asking how hecould get along with you, or how to make you acknowledge him, how he could getgood enough to be your partner. Even when from what I heard, I’d be at thepoint where I’d be asking my senpai for ways to kill you without gettingcaught.”

“What the fuck. Hemust be a masochist for real.”

“Maybe that’s onyou. You attract us.”

“Oh, shut up,Masa-san.”

[zukalations]

Relaxing Breeze - Kisaki Airi

Relaxing Breeze (Fuwari) was a musumeyaku feature published in GRAPH, where an interview would take place at a cafe. It was focused on offstage topics such as how they destress or what they do on days off.

Kisaki’s was published in the November 2016 issue.

Relaxing Breeze - Kisaki Airi

First, why don’t you order!

Let me see...I love chocolate so much I could die, and I can’t go a day without it so people will keep saying that my blood must be made of chocolate (laughs), but I like shortcake just as much...yes, I’ll have the seasonal shortcake!

And what will you have to drink?

Today is hot, so I’ll have something iced. Oh! It says they have ‘Choco Milk’! Is this heavier on the milk?

(Cafe manager) We’ll make it however you like!

Is that alright? Then, please make it with lots of chocolate… (laughs). Everything that I didn’t have from the chocolate cake (laughs).

What are the main points of your fashion for today?

Autumny! Also, since we’re at a cafe, I thought it would be nice to have something that felt like what I’d wear on a day off, so I picked out something with a relaxed feeling. I went with my hair down. Usually on a day off I’ll have it down. Although if I’m going to be doing something active, I’ll put it all in a ponytail.

That skirt has a really eye-catching design. Do you like those sorts of pieces?

I haven’t really noticed myself, but I suppose I might like them (laughs). I don’t think pastels suit me that well, so I end up selecting flashier colors, I guess. But since I’m a musumeyaku, after all, I think I’d like to find a pastel color that works for me (laughs).

Today we are doing a location shoot at a cafe…

The truth is, I’ve always wanted to visit this place. It’s near my parents’ house, so I’ve often talked to my mother about it. Therefore, I’m really happy about this today. The food looks good too, so I think I’ll come again sometime!

(The cake and Choco Milk arrive)

Ya~y! I’ll start with the drink! ...Ah~ it’s so rich! He really put in a lot of chocolate for me. Hahaha (laughs). It’s so tasty. And then the cake, oh, it has figs in it! You know, I’m from Kawanishi, in Hyogo, and figs are kind of a local specialty, so we’ve had a fig tree in our garden for a long time. I really like them. Alright, I’ll try it~! Hm~! It’s so good! It’s sweet, but maybe because of the peaches, it seems really light. It’s delicious~!

What do you usually get at a cafe?

I try to hold myself back from cake. But if there is chocolate cake...ah, maybe I’m not really holding myself back (laughs). I don’t like coffee, but I love black tea, and I always drink it straight. Ordinarily! Today would be cake and black tea too! (laughs) But I have a real sweet tooth, so I’ll end up going for that (laughs).

You really love sweets (laughs). Do you ever go to cafes alone like this?

In Tokyo, I’ll do that sometimes. But when I’m in Takarazuka, I will relax at home...chilling out is my hobby and also my weakness (laughs).

Do you spend your days off at home too?

I’m the type to stay at home all day (laughs). Ah, but when I’m active it’s really active! I think the difference is really big.

On a day when you are relaxing, what is your usual pattern?

I’ll just watch dramas or movies I’ve recorded—the current show, Samurai THE FINAL, is a Japanese-setting play, so I’m watching a Taiga Drama*—and that’s how I’ll spend the whole time. Or, if it is before a show opens, I’ll gather together all the accessories I have in the house (laughs).

Do you mostly watch things that will help with  your performances?

No, I love dramas, so I’ll tape so many different programs every week (laughs). Therefore, yeah, I’ll watch tons of things that have nothing to do with that (laughs). I tell myself it’s a good way to wind down from working (laughs).

What kinds of dramas do you like?

I like romances, but for some reason I’ve always really liked things about detectives, or about medical work (laughs). I like things that are exciting and suspenseful, maybe. I’ll still tape Detective Conan and things like that (laughs)

Do you get up early on your days off?

Hm~, it depends on the day. I love sleeping in until noon (laughs), but if I do get up early,  it feels really nice. I’ll have a relaxed breakfast and then space out in front of the TV. I’ll watch ‘Yo~i DON!’. Ahaha (laughs). It’s a Kansai region local show, so when I’m performing in Tokyo I miss it so, so much! (laughs) It’s a news variety show, but I like the kind of gentle feeling it has (laughs).

And then, if it’s an active day?

I go shopping the most, I suppose. I’ll go to Osaka. Also, I’ll wander down to Awaji, or to Kobe; they’re close by, but it still feels like I’m travelling. I love Universal Studios Japan too, and watching baseball! I love Koushien**. Recently, [the game I was planning to go to] was cancelled because of rain. Even though I’d been really looking forward to it…

That’s too bad. Although it’s a bit surprising that that is one of your interests.

I hear that a lot (laughs). I was following the Rio Olympics, too (laughs).

Do you like going out with someone else?

Yes, I do. It’s nice to go out by myself once in a while, but when we’re all together it’s more upbeat and fun. I haven’t been doing that much at all lately, but since Hinami-san is going to be retiring with this show, my class and Hinami and the others from the class above us are talking about how we’d like to do a house party. A takoyaki party (laughs). It would be really nice if that could happen.

You had a bit of a vacation after the recent Bow Singing Workshop: Star Troupe, didn’t you.

I did. It was a little over 2 weeks, so everybody went off to different countries (laughs). It seemed like every single day people were posting pictures of various places to the Bow Workshop cast LINE group (laughs). Amazing photos of New York city streets, Las Vegas, Taiwan, Guam… it felt like I was on a world tour (laughs).

Did you go somewhere as well, Kisaki-san?

I went to the Southern hemisphere. Saipan. I sunburn really easily, so I was putting sunscreen on all over every 30 minutes (laughs). Since coming back I’ve been taking lots of Vitamin C and trying to get whiter somehow (laughs). I love southern countries. It was a really fun trip.

If you had another vacation, what would you do?

I think I’d go overseas. That trip was my first in a long time, so it piqued my appetite (laughs). I really enjoyed it. It was a good way to change my mood, and, in a good way, I was able to forget about everything...although I’m not sure that’s actually a good thing (laughs), I’d like to have fun and forget everything else. I would kind of like to go to India next time.

Your next show, Om Shanti Om, is set in India, isn’t it.

It is! That’s why I’m interested. Also, everyone keeps saying I ought to go to New York, so if I had time I’d like to go. I want to see all the musicals I please! Apparently you can also go in and get dance lessons and things, so I’ve been sort of longing to do that.

* Taiga dramas are a long-running series of year-long serialized historical dramas broadcast by NHK.

** Koushien is the yearly highschool baseball tournament that is one of the biggest sporting events in Japan.

[shikihana]

The Sengoku Warlords in High School

This started out as I was trying to apply popular high school shoujo manga tropes to the guys, but I realized that they already are stereotypical tropes, so I ended up just letting my imagination run wild with them in a Japanese high school.

Nobunaga: Everyone in school knows him. He’s only a second year student but he is already student body president. He skipped becoming class representative and didn’t even campaign. He announced he was running, and everyone else dropped from the race. Not only that, they helped get him elected. It wasn’t like he intimidated them or seduced them or anything, but they all know he would win, and that he is the best guy for the job. Doesn’t have a favorite subject because he’s good at everything. His fans are avid, but they are the type that agree he is strictly for public admiration.

Masamune: Second year student. He would be the wild bad boy type that attracts many girls. So many girls. He enjoys his popularity, but does not exploit it. Except that it helps with his family business, which is a traditional Japanese confectionery store near school. He’s very passionate about food. He is head of the Home Economics club, where there’s one first-year who tries really hard and, though he wouldn’t admit, that kid is definitely his favorite member. Additionally, he is in the Astronomy club and is secretly obsessed with the moon. His favorite subject is Japanese.

Yukimura: Same class as Masamune. Obviously a student athlete. Captain of the football team (Neymar is his idol, and he wouldn’t shut up about that one time he met Hidetoshi Nakata on the street). Pitcher on the baseball team (he talks excitedly about his Koushien dream to anyone who would lend him an ear; “I want to go to Koushien, but it HAS TO be the summer Koushien!”). As a result, his club activities make him not that good at school work. Favorite subject is positively PE. He grew up with Masamune and they are neighbors, so they walk to school together. One in five girls who greet Masamune also blushingly says “hi” to him, to which he grins and greets them back. Masamune often jokes about him stealing members of the One-Eyed Fanclub.

Ieyasu: He’s the typical quiet, serious first year student. He goes to cram school because he wants to attend Tokyo University after high school. He has his whole life mapped out, and he loathes any distraction from that plan. Spends a lot of his time in the library because he does not “enjoy the company of others,” but he finds that the library isn’t always a foolproof way of avoiding annoyances. He joined the student council as secretary because (1) he wanted to be able to learn more from “Oda-senpai,” and (2) it would look good on his CV. His sports club of choice is Archery/Kyudo, and his best subjects are English and Chemistry.

Hideyoshi: Third year student who does not want to graduate because he is. Just. Too. Worried. About his underclassmen. ALL of them. He loves helping the teachers with errands and being there for his fellow schoolmates, so clearly he has to work in student council. At first he didn’t like being subordinate to someone younger than him, but the more he got to know Nobunaga, the more he approved of the kid. He’s in the Kendo club. All the first-years and second-years come up to him, calling him “senpai” and asking for help or advice.  His classmates and those in the same grade also started calling him “Senpai” as a joke, which stuck and became his petname. He loves it.

Kenshin: Third year student. Everyone at school knows his family is yakuza, because in his first year, someone leaked a photo of the nukibori (background-less) tattoo on his back of an ascending dragon. He is avoided out of reputation, rather than something he has actually done. Though his demeanor doesn’t help. Rumor has it that when someone accidentally crashed into Kenshin in the hallway, he grabbed their collar, stared at them so menacingly while muttering a threat and the poor kid started crying on the spot. Naturally, he is a loner. For an unknown reason, he’s never missed a day of school since kindergarten, so he doesn’t qualify as a delinquent. He could be really good at school, but he doesn’t care enough to try. And unsurprisingly, he’s not in any club either.

Mitsunari: First year student. He’s the friendly, air-headed kid with a refreshing smile that everyone loves to dote on. He helps out at the school’s library. He’s good at Social Studies. He joined the Home Economics club, if only because he loves baking, but he is clumsy as hell. For some miraculous reason, his baking results usually end up passably edible (edible is a far cry from palatable and is a whole abyss away from tasty); and he, the proud, innocent child that he is, would go around handing the treats to anyone he sees. No one has the heart to throw them away, except for that kid in the library who either refused the treat or took one bite and spit it out immediately.

Mitsuhide: He’s Hideyoshi classmate. He knows everyone in school: names, birthdates, bloodtypes, etc., the whole shebang. He keeps the information in his database, which he disguised as his electronic dictionary. What is it for, you ask? “If an accident happens to someone, I could provide EMT with necessary information to save their life,” he said, smirking mischievously. It’s probably for blackmailing. He seems to be the only one in school who has somewhat of an actual relationship with Kenshin. From everyone’s standpoint, they are on amicable terms. He frequently skips class but always manages to pass tests with high scores. Teachers can’t stand him, but let it go because chances are: he’s got something on them, too.

Shingen: That popular, young, handsome teacher that all the female students love to hang around and daydream about. He probably smokes, but not around students. When they go on field trips, the girls cannot help but squeal at him in casual clothes. He’d be teaching something like English or Math. He’s an easy grader, and he knows how to get the students engaged, so they all like his class. He is the adviser of the Astronomy club, and enjoys moon viewing on the school’s rooftop with Masamune every now and again.

Sasuke: He is very evidently the nerd of the first year, if not the whole school. He enjoys gaming and manga, but because he is a bit of an animation snob, he isn’t particularly fond of mass produced serialized anime. He keeps his hobbies to himself, not wanting to be labeled an otaku. He takes Arts as an elective and it’s his favorite class, for obvious reasons. It may come as a surprise to some, but Sasuke actually has a lot of friends. Despite not being the most animated or upbeat person, he’s a good conversationalist; because he knows a little bit about almost every topic, he can always join or add to any given discussion. If he does any sports at all, he would practice martial arts, such as Judo or Aikido.

Kennyo: Another one who isn’t a student. He would be the eccentric, strict, frowny faced teacher that the students badmouth and/or try to avoid. He has one Akita, three cats, two chatty budgies, a foul-mouthed cockatiel which he adopted, a baby water dragon (an iguana species, not a real dragon), a tortoise he inherited from his father that’s probably older than him, and a corn snake. His subject would be Chemistry. He’s constantly seen in his lab coat, and maybe goggles on his head, too. The story goes that the scar on his face was caused by an accidental explosion in the lab. He refrains from socializing with the staff and students, but Shingen wouldn’t have any of it and would drag him to have a drink whenever he can.

And these people are only connected because one day they came together and created a High School Host Club. Then a new transfer student accidentally broke an expensive vase and had to join to repay his (her?) debt.

If anyone here isn’t familiar with Japanese school system, high school has three grades, first year is the equivalence of a US high school sophomore, and so on. Also, Kenshin’s tattoo is a hundred percent inspired by Kiryu from Yakuza the game (by SEGA), if you were wondering.

[kikumerio]

[fic] what you have tamed (kuraryou exchange 2018)

to: @swwyz from: @kikumerio notes: dear tsu, i'm sorry i couldn't get my fingers to run with any of your wonderful au prompts, but you did mention futurefic -- so i hope you enjoy this glimpse at kuraryou post-high school ;;; happy kuraryou day!

(read on ao3)

* * *

He can't count the number of times they've found themselves here, the last few weeks as winter comes to a close, lolling on the embankment, shivering in the crisp air. This'll be one of the last, he guesses. There's a faint sting to that, even though he knows it's not really the end. That something like what they've got doesn't just fade away.

"Really?" he's asking Ryou-san. "Nothing at all?"

"I've had other things on my mind." Ryou-san sounds totally disinterested. "For someone to keep my attention... that person would have to be exceptional."

Not the reveal he's – not pushing for, exactly, but half-prepared for. One of these days. But – that person. When Ryou-san says something, it's never an accident. There's a warm feeling in the pit of Youichi's stomach.

"I suppose you've put quite a lot of... thought into it." Bone dry.

Youichi shrugs. Ignores the innuendo. "Eh, you know. There's plenty of time, right? After graduation. College. After that. What's the rush?"

Silence, and then a cool hand covers his forehead. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Peachy," Youichi says. Bats at Ryousuke's hand, as his heartbeat gallops in his ears.

"A fever? Possession? Body swap?"

"This isn't a horror story, Ryou-san."

"Hmm."

Youichi settles back into the grass. "I just think, you know. The right thing is worth waiting for."

"How romantic." Sharp, needling. Ryou-san's way of showing fondness.

Youichi smiles at the sky. "Sure," he says. "If you want to put it that way."

* * *

Youichi didn’t even notice at first, was the thing. At first, right after the third years had graduated – and he’d think of them as "the third years" for a long time, long after he himself moved up to 3-B – he and Ryou-san kept up a pretty steady stream of messages, trading news from the high school baseball circuit and reports on Kominato junior for stories about college life. Sometimes they'd text back and forth about the same big game on TV, kind of like they were watching together, almost.

Around the end of Ryousuke's second term at university, just as Seidou bowed out of the fall tournament and Youichi started to come to grips with the fact that his last high school baseball game had been three months ago, enough of the old team came home for the holidays that they had a meet-up, the first since Spring Koushien. Tetsu-san came by Seidou every so often to keep an eye on Little Yuuki, but Jun-san was back from Osaka, and Fumiya from Hiroshima, and even Chris-senpai was home, patient as ever as he was pelted with questions about California. And then suddenly between one breath and the next there was Ryou-san, smiling tranquilly next to Haruichi, and Youichi thought his face was going to burst from grinning so hard.

It must have begun after that. Youichi went home for New Year’s and squirmed as his mother ruffled his hair extra hard every other minute, her way of saying I can't believe you’re graduating. Haruichi sent him a picture of the Kominato family lined up at their local temple, Ryousuke’s hair short and windblown. Looking at them next to each other it was impossible not to see that Haruichi was a good four centimeters taller. Youichi remembered thinking it was funny that he didn’t hear anything from Ryousuke, but that was Ryou-san for you. He texted him anyway.

hppy new years partner

And after a minute: Happy New Year, Kuramochi.

Then there was the final push for exams, even though they didn’t really matter with a recommendation from Coach and his college offer in hand, then the scramble to do the rounds of goodbye parties and pack up and move into the baseball dorm at Hosei, the grueling first-year hazing-we-mean-training-camp, attending obligatory Spring League games to cheer for his new senpai, dragging himself to lecture whenever he could manage between three-hour sessions of morning and evening practice. And Ryousuke—did he have exams? He must have; it was the end of the term, and he wasn't texting Youichi at all.

In the middle of the summer heat, Seidou made it to Koushien for Sawamura and Furuya and Haruichi's last hurrah. Youichi couldn’t make it all the way to Kobe during game weeks, but he knew hell and high water combined wouldn’t keep Ryousuke away. tell the kids hi for me, he texted.

He never got an answer, which he didn’t realize for a while, because then the Fall League was on them and Youichi woke, slept and dreamed Big Six games for eight brutal weeks. They beat Meiji but lost to Waseda, and then to Rikkyo – embarrassing – coming a respectable second overall. He was so exhausted by the end of the league he barely had the energy to read the congratulatory messages he did receive, much less notice the ones he didn’t. Then a lackluster nod at studying with his freshman teammates, who were all in the same classes, and then it was the holiday break, again, and Youichi went straight from the end-of-season drinking party to his dorm room and slept for eleven hours.

He truly rejoined the world of the living sometime around the day after that. The sun was out, so Youichi wandered outside to bask on the steps outside the dorm. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d just... not done anything. He had a date with his PS3, just as soon as he could get himself to move again. He scrolled through his neglected messages instead, squinting against the glare. 31 new notifications. His mother, Haruichi (what a dutiful kid), Shirasu (huh), a text chain started by Sawamura entitled holidays?? that looked like a roll call of who’d be around for New Year's and included a pointed are you reading this Miyuki kazuya???

Youichi snorted. No answer from either Kominato, though presumably the younger would be there. Actually, there was no reason the elder wouldn’t either, even though he hadn't been around lately, not since – And all of a sudden Youichi realized the last time he’d seen Ryou-san face-to-face had been over a year ago.

It threw him, for a minute. But no time like the present. He opened a new message.

hey ryou-san!! long time no see. got some free time? wanna meet up?

It had been almost two weeks since the last time they'd texted, desultory complaints about the snowstorm rolling through Tokyo. Ryousuke would be an upperclassman soon; he’d said something about choosing seminars. Sure enough, when Youichi finally got an answer, late that night, it read, Ah, I’m a bit busy right now. Rain check, please.

np gimme a shout when your free!! hows school?

Ryousuke kept read receipts on. It gave Youichi two days to wonder before he got an answer.

Going. Stay warm out there.

Youichi couldn't put a finger on what exactly made him feely itchy and uncomfortable. So he ignored it. He'd cracked the starting lineup midway through the league and he couldn't let his practice schedule slip if he wanted to stay there, even for a couple days. Plus he had plenty of other shit to catch up on – violent manga to read, games to play. He wasn't going to let this get to him.

thanks ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ btw made the starting string. when are you gonna come to one of our games?

This time, four days went by before he got a single, completely unrelated message: I suppose you've heard about Fumiya's latest.

Even then, it took a couple hours before Youichi got it, until Sawamura—fucking Sawamura—texted him a picture of himself and Furuya and Haruichi and Ryou-san at—they were at Seidou, on the practice grounds, with Yui and Little Yuuki and some vaguely familiar faces that must be their underclassman. oniisan came to visit!!!!!!! the text said, and that was when Youichi realized Ryousuke was doing it on purpose.

* * *

He didn't expect it so he didn't have any defense. Just hurt – dumb, animal hurt, the kind where his body didn't know whether it wanted to lash out or curl into a ball whimpering to protect himself.

He was—supposed to know. Ryou-san wanted him to know. Wanted to hurt him.

Ryou-san hurt people on purpose, sometimes. But he'd never wanted to hurt Youichi.

That was the thing. Ryou-san hurt people, if they did something that made him think they deserved it, but not his people, not Haruichi or Youichi or Jun-senpai or even dumb, lovable Sawamura – not unless something made it unavoidable. Youichi didn't think he'd done anything to deserve it. He hadn't had a chance. So it was unavoidable. For whatever Ryou-san wanted.

Youichi didn't have the right kind of brain for these kind of games, always guessing one step ahead of one step ahead. But he knew Ryou-san. He knew how Ryou-san expected this to go down. Youichi would be hurt, confused (check); he'd pull back, bury himself in baseball. Like he always had before. The distance would grow, the noncommittal texts – We should get dinner soon or Let’s hang out when you’re not so busy – slowing to a trickle, lip service, greetings on birthdays and Haruichi going pro, until the reason for the distance was forgotten and Youichi was left with a mild wistfulness and some fond memories. And in a few years they'd finally meet up for a Seidou reunion and Ryou-san would show up with some boring guy and introduce him as his date and smile, like Youichi was supposed to be surprised, like he didn't know –

He swiped a hand across his face, blinking back furious tears. Fuck that. Fuck Ryousuke. Youichi got to his feet.

"You-san?" Haruichi's voice was fuzzy, like he had a hand over the receiver; there was laughter in the background. "What's wrong?"

Youichi said, "Give me your brother's address."

* * *

He was lingering by the bicycle bay, the sun down and twilight shading the rusty light into grey, when Ryousuke came back to his apartment building.

Turned out it wasn’t that far away; twenty minutes on the Toei Line. For the last year, or more, they'd been twenty minutes apart. Thinking about it made the pressure in Youichi's head increase, something tight squeezing around his temples.

He knew it was Ryousuke the moment he turned on to the street. He hadn't changed in the ways that mattered. Perfectly self-contained, not a movement out of place. Smaller than Youichi remembered. It made his face heat and his throat prickle, anger and confusion warring with dumb canine instinct, Ryou-san, it's Ryou-san.

Ryousuke was working on his thesis proposal – Youichi knew that much, from the little he had been allowed. Something something economics. He was probably coming back from the library; he had a laptop bag over one shoulder and carried a paper bag bulging oddly with book corners. When he reached the bank of mailboxes, Youichi moved out of the shadows.

Ryousuke glanced at him. Then did a real, actual double-take, which would have been satisfying enough to defuse the entire conversation if Youichi weren't still so angry he couldn't see straight. Ryousuke didn't move, arrested two steps from the door, and Youichi could almost see him weighing it—walk right past, go inside, deliver the killing blow right then, or—

"Hello, Kuramochi," said Ryou-san.

No one else said his name like that. Like Ryou-san was rolling it around on his tongue, tasting it before he let it go. Like it was special.

Youichi said, "I guess you think I’m real stupid or something, huh."

Ryousuke's face gave nothing away. "And, I mean, maybe I am. I didn't even get what you were doing until yesterday. How long've you been working on this?"

Ryousuke didn't answer him. He turned away and moved toward the front door. Youichi thought with a sick sort of anger that now Ryousuke was going to try to ignore him, now that he knew Youichi was going to push him for answers and not just whimper for mercy. Then he saw Ryousuke was holding the door open.

Ryousuke said, "If you want to do this outside, by all means."

It was the cool voice that meant if Youichi wanted to drag him into such a mess he’d put a short and bloody end to it. Fine. Fine. He was Kuramochi Youichi and Ryou-san could fucking bring it. He shoved his hands in his pockets and stomped inside.

Ryousuke's apartment was on the second floor. Even in the middle of anger, Youichi couldn't help casing the place, trying to drink in as much as possible, as he always did with the rare insights he was allowed into Ryou-san's privacy. It was a simple studio, five by ten maybe. It couldn't have been much different from Youichi's suite, but it looked bigger, somehow. It was definitely cleaner. The desk was neat, the bed made up and tucked in a corner. A single mug was drying on a rack across the sink. No plastic bags bulging with empty cans leaning against the cupboard, no drying laundry strewn over the fold-out table and chairs.

Ryou-san took a position by the window, one hand resting lightly on the back of a chair. Kuramochi leaned against the tiny fridge and folded his arms.

He knew Ryou-san could wait him out, so of course then Ryou-san had to throw him by breaking the silence. "Congratulations."

"On what."

"Making the first string."

Youichi bit the inside of his mouth in an effort not to say I knew you read them, playing into Ryousuke's hand, again. Because of course he already knew that, that was the whole point, and Ryou-san knew he knew, and he knew Ryou-san knew, and – he hated this. He hated it.

With that eerie Ryou-san trick of reading his mind, Ryousuke said, "I don't think you're stupid. You understand perfectly well, don't you?"

And there it was again, the rage flaring behind his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I understand what you're telling me fine. You made sure of that."

"I've always thought it's best to be straightforward."

Youichi snorted, loudly. Sure, Ryou-san was straightforward, sucker punching you in the front to distract you from the knife in the back. But it wasn't worth arguing. Ryousuke didn't look the least bit affected by Youichi's scorn; he still emanated perfect composure, that hint of the smile you knew was there even when you couldn't see it. Youichi said, "You still think I'm – you think I don't know why."

"Why I don't feel like talking to you any more?"

"Why you want me to think that!" Youichi's voice shook just a little, god damn it.

"We're not in high school any more, Kuramochi." How childish, Youichi heard.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Ryousuke's voice sharpened. "This is what happens. People grow apart."

"So, what, you should just give them an extra shove?"

"Why waste time?" He knew Ryousuke was doing it on purpose, he knew Ryousuke knew all his weaknesses, and it still hurt. "Things change. Friendships die."

The blaze of anger flashed through Youichi like lightning. "Who said anything about friendship?"

You wouldn't see it, probably, if you hadn't spent years learning Ryou-san's tells, how to communicate when words would have been too slow, attuned to every slight movement that might get the ball in your glove a hundredth of a second faster. Ryousuke's hand was still where it rested on the chair. His whole body was still. The stillness of a predator, or prey.

Ryousuke would deserve it if he weaseled out and went for some bullshit about partnership or brotherhood. But that wouldn't get them anywhere, and Youichi wasn’t here to score points. He didn't know what he was here for, exactly, only that he’d been waiting for it for a long time.

He'd been waiting, and now the pitch was coming. He couldn't fuck up now.

"I don't—you know I'm not good at, at subtle stuff. But I'm not stupid. I always thought—after a while we'd figure it out, you know? Whatever it is. Maybe—maybe not for a few years, maybe not for—I don’t know—but I always thought... I knew, okay? You made sure.” He took a deep, shaky breath. "So don't try and tell me this is, we're, that it's just friends. I know it's not. It never was."

Ryou-san just – looked at him, a look Youichi hadn't seen in a long, long time; like Ryou-san was reassessing everything he'd known about him. That hurt in its own way too.

“What did you think I was going to do, anyway, just—let it happen?” Ryou-san didn't say anything. Youichi's voice dropped, and to his own mortification he heard a helpless, plaintive note in his own voice. "I thought you knew me better than that."

That was the thing—the worst thing. That he’d thought—he’d known Ryou-san didn't see him the way other people did. Ryou-san didn't treat him the way other people did. Ryou-san got what made him tick and what lit him up and exactly how to take him apart. But despite all that, he still didn't get this, this most important piece. He still thought Youichi would let him down.

Ryousuke finally spoke. "I guess neither of us know each other as well as we thought."

The blood pulsed in Youichi's face. "Speak for yourself. I know you just fine."

"Do you?" And there it was, the first flash of the smolder that Youichi knew was there, always, like a forest fire in winter.

Youichi held his ground. "You bet I do."

"People change, Kuramochi."

"Not that much."

"We've barely spoken in months."

"And whose fault is that, huh?" He pushed himself off the fridge and crossed the room, just six steps, fists balled at his sides. Close enough to see Ryou-san's chest rise and fall, perfectly controlled. Close enough to touch. Whether to slug him or—

"Ryou-san," he said, as quietly as he could. "Don't do this to me, come on."

Ryousuke spoke to some point past his ear. "You seem awfully sure this is about you."

"I don't know what you thought I might do but—I wouldn't. I won't. I swear."

Ryousuke finally looked him in the eye. "Is something wrong with your hearing, Kuramochi? I said it has nothing to do with you."

"Bullshit," Youichi started to snarl, then pulled himself up short. Think, Youichi. What had he just told himself? Punch in the front, knife in the back. Right.

"Fine," he said. "'S not about me.' He saw it flash across Ryou-san's face, disappointment that he'd been right all along – like now he got what he'd been pushing for, he'd secretly been wishing he wouldn't.

"What do you think you're gonna do?" Youichi said.

Ryousuke's face froze.

"Cause whatever it is. You’re not gonna get rid of me that easily, Ryou-san."

Ryou-san wasn't moving. This was it—his chance, now or never. He took took two more steps. In arm's reach now.

"You can have anything you want. As much as you want. You know that, right? You’ve gotta have known it."

The good thing about Ryou-san was also the bad thing about Ryou-san, which was that once he got the bit between his teeth he would run with it until he dropped. He was a fighter; it was one of the things Youichi liked so much about him. Only this time Youichi was pretty sure he was fighting something that didn't exist.

"Any time since second year. All you had to do was say the word."

Two more steps.

Ryou-san smiled. It wasn't a friendly smile.

"What makes you think I want you," he said, cool as glacial runoff, the cool of a frosted drink on a hot day, a chill that made Youichi want to submerge his head and never come out.

How did he know? He didn't, he supposed. Other than that Ryou-san wouldn't be doing this if he didn't have something to be scared of.

That was when he saw that Ryousuke's hand, nearly imperceptible, was trembling.

It hit, a current of vindication and rapport and desire and tenderness all together, like something physical, pulling him in ten directions at once. He didn't know if he wanted to punch Ryou-san, or wrap him up or and never let go, or maybe fall to his knees, or maybe all of the above. It was even odds that Ryousuke would physically step on him, though, which he didn’t want–or maybe he kind of did? it was confusing—so he settled for taking the hand in his own, as gently as he knew how.

He knew that hand well. Smaller than his own, finely shaped. The most capable hand he knew. The baseball calluses had faded; a long angry paper cut ran down the index finger. He curled the strong, flexible fingers around his own. Lifted it to his lips and kissed the knuckles, once. Then he waited for Ryou-san to cut him off at the knees with a single word.

It never came. When Youichi looked up, Ryou-san's smile was gone and his jaw was clenched so hard the skin was white. His eyes were open, and looking at Youichi.

"Come on, Ryou-san," Youichi said again. Hoarse. "Give me a chance."

Ryou-san's voice was barely a whisper. "You don't know what you're asking for."

He couldn't help the laugh that bubbled over. Because—hadn't they just been over this? He knew Ryou-san. He knew exactly what he was asking for.

"Ryou-san. I'm here, aren’t I?"

It must have shown in his grin, because Ryou-san's face flashed irritation, before, unwilling, softening at the edges.

He knew that look too. That was the one that meant Even I didn’t know if you'd make that catch. You’ve managed to surpass my expectations this time. It meant, If I were a different person I'd say 'Well done, Kuramochi.' It was his special look.

He was still holding Ryou-san’s hand in his own. He squeezed it, gently. "Come on, partner. What do you say?"

Ryou-san said, "I suppose there are worse ideas."

Ryou-san's head tipped back. Youichi wasn't an idiot.

Ryou-san's lips were dry. One arm wrapped around his neck, one around his shoulders. Tighter, tighter. His arm slid right around Ryou-san’s waist. Perfectly sized to fit together. He'd known that, too, somehow. Ryou-san felt just right. Of course he did.

Ryousuke's mouth was soft—softer than Youichi had thought. And he had thought, deep down. There was a reason he’d never taken the girls in his class up on their hints, a reason he'd never taken anyone home from a group date. Waiting, all this time, for the time to be right. Until all of a sudden waiting wasn't enough.

He didn't know how far he could push, here. Funny, when he'd just pushed as hard as he could. Ryou-san made a dissatisfied noise. One hand clenched on Youichi's shoulder; body poised, held just centimeters from Youichi's, just far enough for tension to crackle in the space between.

Then – it was like an electric current, a shudder passing through Ryou-san's body, and then Ryou-san had one hand digging into the meat of his shoulder and the other wound in his hair and was molding himself to Youichi, going for his mouth like he was starving, like he'd been thinking about this for a long, long time.

Youichi caught him with both hands and hung on. No room to breathe, to think, just to take as much of Ryou-san as he could. To feel the sharp pain of a hand tugging at the hair at the nape of his neck, the fingernails digging into his shoulder, the hungry, urgent mouth.

Again, and again. He didn’t know how long it went on. He was struggling for breath, gasping – "Ryou-san," into his jaw, the side of his neck, the magic words, "Ryou-san—"

He felt Ryou-san's smile against his cheek. "No need for honorifics, Kuramochi."

"Look who's talking," Youichi managed, between deep, panting breaths. "That the best you can do?"

"What was that, Youichi?" Ryou-san murmured in his ear and Youichi thought he was going to melt down right there in the middle of Ryou-san's apartment. Ryou-san knew it, too, he had the most insufferable knowing smile on his face – Youichi was grinning, grinning so hard it hurt, in relief, in sheer happiness.

Youichi kissed him one more time, long and hard. Ryou-san might look unruffled to outside eyes, but Youichi knew better – the heightened color, the deep breaths, the disordered hair where Youichi had run a hand through it, gathering Ryousuke up toward him. Not that he had anything on Youichi himself. He knew he had to look like he'd just gotten run over, and it gave him a deep, satisfied glow. Bring it. He was ready.

Ryou-san was giving him a long, lingering once-over. Reading his mind again. "You’d better be prepared," he said.

"Hell yeah I am," Youichi said, maybe more fervently than necessary, because something in Ryou-san's eyes kindled, assessing. Youichi's cheeks were warm, but he refused to back down. Ryou-san wanted to go there, Ryou-san could take what he got.

"Hm." Ryou-san eased back down onto his feet – Youichi hadn't realized he'd been on his tiptoes – and smoothed his hands over Youichi's shoulders, patting them once, absent and proprietary. It lit up some sort of nerve center down deep in Youichi’s brain. He was ready, all right, eight days a week.

"Hm," Ryousuke repeated, pensive this time. "I suppose there's no way to avoid mentioning this to Haruichi."

Youichi's train of thought, which had been progressing in a decidedly non-little-brotherly-direction, pulled up short. "Huh?"

Ryousuke's lips made a slight twist of distate. "Haruichi had some words. About... Well."

Youichi laughed—cackled, fine. "I bet."

One eyebrow went up sharply. In anyone else that would be a pout. "Don't think you're getting off so easy, You-san. He wasn't terribly impressed with you, either."

Youichi couldn't help it. He ducked his head to steal another kiss, reveling in the way Ryou-san leaned up into it, leaned into him, didn’t hurry to let go. "I can handle junior," Youichi murmured when it was over, blithely ignoring years of evidence to the contrary

Ryousuke's shoulders quivered – with laughter. "Is that so."

Youichi was carried away on a tide of satisfaction, blissfully invincible. Nothing could touch him. "Sure. The Kominato whisperer. That’s what they call me."

"Do they," Ryou-san said, which, oops, maybe that one had been a mistake – no, that invisible smile was there, and –

"He can wait until I'm done with you," said Ryousuke.

"Sure," Youichi said, husky. "All yours, Ryou-san."

And you better not forget it again, he wanted to add, but from the tiny, tiny smile on Ryousuke's face, he kind of thought he didn't have to.

* * *

"About time," Haruichi sniffed, next time he met Youichi for fast food. "Honestly."

"A lot of help you were," Youichi groused, stealing a handful of his fries as punishment.

"If you can't solve your own problems, why should I be expected to fix them for you?" Haruichi pointed out, which was pretty reasonable, actually, except—

"I didn't know there was one! Which was what it was!"

He stopped to review his pronouns. Haruichi blinked at him. "You-san, are you skipping class again?"

"Shut up, junior," Youichi grumbled, and stole another fry.

[ppgang]

[Series compilation]GANG PARADE Vol.5 Yamamachi Miki “I want to go to a place that surpasses everything the audience has ever imagined”

GANG PARADE, 7 members group from from WACK, same agency as BiS and BiSH. On 2017/5 an indefinite trade between Kamiya Saki and Aya Eight Prince happened; they released their first album with the new formation with Aya and had an overcrowded huge success live at Ebisu LIQUIDROOM. Since 2018/2 they are on a tour of 8 cities; on 2/20 the last single with these 7, including Aya, will be released; on 2/23 the tour final at Mynavi BLITZ will take place. Then on 3/3 the rental trade will end and a closing ceremony will take place at BiS one man live <BiS 2nd BEGiNNiNG TOUR FiNAL WHO KiLLED IDOL??>, on ¾ at Ryoukoku Kokugikan. In the midst of this shocking situation we'll publish GANG PARADE individual interviews. Fifth one, Yamamachi Miki appears.

Interview: Yamamachi Miki

Yamamchi Miki, who kept being active with strong feelings since POP era, GANG PARADE's predecessor. Being in the unit SAiNT SEX formed by BiS, BiSH and GANPARE senbatsu members, as her characteristic voice reaches as many listeners possible she's getting repercussion. In this interview, she'll talk about episodes like loosing the sensation of “the moment we become one during the live”, and about her current true feelings. Being honest to her feelings, to keep moving forward to make a better GANPARE,  we talked to Yamamachi Miki.

Interview: Nishizawa Hiroo Photos: Jumpei Yamada Edition assistance: Okamoto Takayuki

I FELT LIKE IT WOULD BE NICE IF I COULD INCREASE THE PLACES I CAN EXPRESS TROUGH THE WEAPON IS MY SONG

- 2018's GANPARE started their year with Miki-chan's MC at Idol Koushien on 1/3. “One year ago today, we GANG PARADE were the first group to perform among the ones at the same office. That time I screamed that we would definitely change that order. Today we are the 3rd among 4 groups. One before the closure act. We did change it! The next one will change order with is BiSH!!”. You declared that but, how were your feelings?

Yamamachi Miki (under, Miki): There was happiness of changing the perform order but, I thought we couldn't be satisfied at that. Because the ones closer to us are WACK groups, if we don't become first there first we won't be able to go higher. We changed the performance order within WACK but, I want to keep going without losing my spirirt.

- Even so, it is amazing that you managed to realize something you declared 1 year ago.

Miki: It is incredible, isn't it?

- It's about yourselves (laughs).

Miki: (laughs). I was happy that more people are recognizing that.

- The subject will go back a while but, during WACK sousenkyo, how was Miki-chan feeling?

Miki: I think I was aiming at the solo debut more than anyone (laughs). I obviously like to sing, there's also the fact that even within GANPARE my way of singing is characteristic, there were people who got to know about be because of the songs, I realized once more how important to me it is. That's why I was feeling like I definitely had to take the chance to get a solo debut.

- Among the unit formed by BiS, BiSH, GANPARE senbatsu members, SAiNT SEX, too Miki-chan's voice stands out, I think singing became a great weapon.

Miki: I can stand out on that aspect only. In live houses, I'm often told “I couldn't see Miki-chan” because I'm short. Because of that I make the dance movements really big but, it's something that I can't compensate no matter what. I felt like it would be nice to increase the places I can express trough the weapon that is my song.

- Including middle results, you were always at the top.

Miki: On the middle results days, I was always uneasy. I didn't know when my placement would go lower, there was the possibility to drop from 12th at the final result. If I thought about that the anxious parts would increase, it was scary.

- In the final results, you got 5th place. How did you feel?

Miki: I was happy that I got the first among GANPARE members, and also the 5th among WACK members. There's the fact that number of people who wanted to hear my solo was large, by placing in 5th there were people who listened to GANPARE songs, liked GANPARE, and thought “What kind of song will she sing?”, so I think it was a really great thing.

- This time you didn't get a solo debut but, I would like to listen to a song by Miki-chan only.

Miki: It would definitely be something strong and heavy (laughs). But I would like to do it one day if I have the chance.

I WANT TO MAKE IT “A TOUR I UNDERSTAND BECOMING ONE”

- You are currently on the national one man “BREAKING THE ROAD TOUR” but, how are you facing the tour?

Miki: 2 or 3 days before the tour started there was a chance to talk to all members. Before that there was a part of me that was uneasy. All members said “There's a moment during the live we become one” but, I never got this sensation. There was a time I had it but, at some point I started to not understand at all. But if I said that unity of the group might be broken, right? I thought there was the possibility of the group becoming disconnected because of one person so I didn't say it but, I ended up saying it (laughs). When I did it, everyone thought about it a lot and gave me advices like “How about that? If you try this?”. When I thought “Those people can really think about others” the image of “This might be the feelings of becoming one” was born. But, even so I didn't understand. This tour I personally want to make it a “tour I understand what is to become one”.

- So you did know how it felt to become one before.

Miki: I understood it about until the summer. There was a moment we talked and the feelings of the 7 of us came together, we performed at several events but, I started to not understand this emotion.

- I wonder when Miki-chan feels that a live was good.

Miki: When without thinking about anything the emotions flow. On this tour, personally the second part in Nagoya was really good. When I heard the harmony with Aya during the chorus of “UNIT” I was like “Buwaa--”. To be able to sing with Aya in the 7 members formation, when I thought it was just a few more chances the emotions flowed. In the end there's a part I say with Aya “Sing!” but, when we looked at each other the timing was perfect even without saying “ready, set”. That moment I thought “Ah, today might be really good”.

- Miki-chan is active since POP era, trough members leaving and joining, passing by a group name change, but how do you perceive the current 7 members lineup?

Miki: Now it feels like myself the most. Also simply it's fun. During POP there was a lot of hard things, like I would suffer because there were a lot of things I couldn't get used to. Now I think I can enjoy every single thing. Of course there are hard things but, there are more fun times to the point of surpassing the hard ones.

- When Saki-chan went to BiS on a trade and Aya joined GANPARE, I believe there was also a confusion but, when did the 7 of you started to fit nicely?

Miki: Hmm, when was it? Because it has been 10 months with the current 7 lineup I can't remember (laughs). During summer there were big events like “TIF”, “Natsu no Mamono” and “OTODAMA”, I think there was a moment everyone's feelings came together at once.

- Miki-chan joined the group because you admired Saki-chan but, aren't you worried how will the atmosphere become once Saki-chan returns again?

Miki: When Saki-chan returns, we just have to establish 7 of us including Saki-chan so I'm not worried. So far it's not like it turned really bad because the members changed, because we rearrange from there.

I WANT TO ENJOY WITH THE AUDIENCE WITH MY WHOLE POWER

- The last single with Aya “BREAKING THE ROAD” will be released. “BREAKING THE ROAD” is a melody hardcore song with great impact but, when Miki-chan heard this song, what did you think?

Miki: When I heard just the song at first, I thought that a really cool song came. Like it was a melody that BiS or BiSH could sing. Because part of me always admired this type of songs I was happy. Also, when I think that's the last single with Aya, it's the lyric we didn't had so far will stick. When we perform at lives, we'll likely cry. We might cry (laughs).

- On the other side, the coupling song “toro ikura uni tabetai” (laughs).

Miki: It's amazing, right? (laughs).

- What did you think when you heard this song?

Miki: I thought that even though the melody is cool, what's up with the lyrics? (laughs). But it's a unique world view, it's definitely a song the members wouldn't write so, I thought it had fun it it. It's an enigmatic song, isn't it (laughs)?

- From an extreme direct song, to a nonsense song, I think that 2 axis have been established but, it's unusual to not understand something to this point. I wonder with which feelings do you sing “toro ikura uni tabetai” (laughs).

Miki: Exactly. It was hard to think “what kind of feelings should I convey here” but, I think it's ok to sing feeling like I want to eat sushi (laughs).

- Speaking about nonsense, with which feelings do you sing “imi nai uta” from the album?

Miki: That is without any feeling. When I dance there are no feelings, so I sing thinking that I should be a robot. “toro ikura uni tabetai” too, when we perform it live I think it will become something good. Probably (laughs).

- Now, how is the feedback from the tour?

Miki: I think other members are saying it too but, we are making lives we get point over the average mark but, we can't quite get 100 points. We have to learn with the mistakes and connect with the next live, otherwise the “next” one wont exist. If give importance to do it carefully, or think “let's arrange it here” but, lately there hasn't been the reckless thing that we had until now. The good thing about GANPARE, we have always been reckless since older days, so maybe there'll be some transformation if we make that a plus.

- There's also Coco's 100km marathon (ended), seems like a lot will explode.

Miki: It's a short time but I think we can progress as a group, so at Mynavi BLITZ Akasawa it won't be 100 points, I want to change more and more in order to get 120 or 150 points.

- What like do you want Mynavi BLITZ Akasaka to be?

Miki: Normally I don't know what we'll do but, I want to perform with all my power, and to enjoy with the audience with all my power. Also, because this will be the last one man with Aya, I think we can make a really good live if we add the emotional as a plus. I want to go to a place that surpasses everything the audience has ever imagined. It's sad it will be the last one man with Aya but I'm looking forward to it. I want to make a live that will show the completed form of the current 7, and will let us go to the next one. We'll make everyone's feelings into one and give our best.

[dokuhan]

Oofuri XMas Exchange

Title: It Could Happen One Day Rating: PG Fandom: Ookiku Furikabutte Pairing: Mihashi Ren/Abe Takaya Summary: Or...the four times Abe Takaya thought Christmas was completely and totally ruined, but it actually turned out pretty, okay.  Notes: HOLY SHIT IT’S FINALLY DONE.

Hey hey hey, @jaesti it’s your Secret Santa~~ I’m sorry this took so long, I had this really cute idea and wanted to make sure it was perfect, but life kept kicking me in the face. Sorry it’s unbetaed, but I hope you like it all the same! Yuletide blessings~! <3 

The first really was just unfortunate circumstance. It was probably kind of their own fault, really. Their relationship was barely a few weeks old, and outside of Oki finding out by accident nobody knew they were together. It was still super tentative and overwhelming for two 17-year-old boys and they didn’t want to rock the boat right away.

But at the same time, Takaya wanted their first Christmas together to be special, dammit.

The plan was to keep it as low key as possible and play it by ear. See a movie, grab food, maybe something along those lines. Neither one of them had ever dated before so they didn’t exactly know how it worked, but it would still be pretty fun. It had taken a lot of sneaking around and excuses to get out of hanging out with the rest of the team too.

All that secrecy might have been their downfall, though.

“Abe-kun, it’s so great to see you again!”

Now to be absolutely clear, Takaya had absolutely no problem with Ruri. They barely knew each other, but what little interaction they had was far from unpleasant. He just didn’t want her third-wheeling on what was supposed to be a romantic evening.

“I d-didn’t know she was visiting…” Ren mumbled when they finally had a chance to talk. His head was down, but Takaya swore he could see Ren’s eyes boring holes into Ruri’s back as she walked leisurely ahead of them. “Mom said she should hang out with me and my friends.”

“Right. Because that’s what we said we were doing.” Takaya rubbed his face, breathing in deeply, “Now what?”

“Should…should we call someone? M-maybe Yuu-kun is around o-or Shouji-kun…”

“Yeah, and then then what?”

Ren made an uncomfortable noise and shrunk down a little, which made Takaya feel absolutely guilty but they both knew he was right. So yeah…they were stuck. Awesome.

And he tried to be nice about it, he really, really did – but it was just…Ruri was just there, all the time. She was an unavoidable, unmoving object placed there purely to ruin his Christmas.

When they went to grab food, she slid into the booth next to Ren before Takaya could even make it to the table. The movie was out of the question, because they couldn’t agree on something the three of them would enjoy. She dragged them through every crowded street, lamenting about how there were so many happy couples around them and yet the three of them were alone completely oblivious to the fact that IT. WAS. SUPPOSED. TO BE. A DATE.

Then there was the game center. That frigging game center. On a regular day, it was miserable. Too many people and a lot of noise – far from his cup of tea. Ren was even worse about it. But Ruri insisted, saying it was the perfect atmosphere for whatever tangent she found herself on, because Takaya had stopped listening long before that.

If he hated the game center normally, then on Christmas it was an absolute nightmare. By the time they pushed through the crowd, Takaya was ready to rip his hair out. Ren looked absolutely rattled too, reaching to cover his ears.

“Oh! Let’s try that one out,” Ruri exclaimed, reaching to pull Ren along, “RenRen, come on it’s not that bad.”

“Yes it is!”

Takaya whipped his head around, surprised that he could hear Ren over the rest of the noise.

Ruri looked just as surprised, letting her arms drop. She pouted a little, “Okay, so it’s busy, but I just want us to have fun. You’ve both been so grumpy.”

“B-because we wanted to be alone! It was supposed to be the two of us!”

She looked at the two of them, at first completely bewildered, but then as the dots connected in her head her eyes widened, “Oh…oh…OH! You guys…oh my god.” She covered her mouth, and Takaya braced himself for some kind of disgust, but instead, “I had no idea! I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you say something?”

“Mom d-doesn’t know…n-nobody knows.”

Takaya sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “We haven’t been on an actual date yet. We’re still figuring this out.”

“Oh no, oh my god. I’m such a jerk. I can’t believe this.” She frowned, deeply.

That maybe, possibly made Takaya feel just a little bad. It obviously wasn’t her fault and she didn’t mean any of it, but it didn’t change the fact that their night was completely ruined. Having everything out in the open probably made it worse too, because now there were three miserable people spending Christmas together instead of just two.

“Wait, I think I might have an idea,” Ruri pushed past them, “You guys wait here, I’ll be right back.”

It wasn’t like they could move anywhere else, anyway.

Takaya covered his own ears, moving in close to Ren, “I guess there’s always next year.”

“I’m so sorry, Takaya-kun.”

“Don’t. We’ll try again.”

Ruri grabbed onto the back of his shirt, “Okay, you two, come with me.”

She led the two of them up an escalator and down a hallway. She opened one of the doors, revealing a small karaoke room, “I could only get an hour, sorry. But I’ll be downstairs. Merry Christmas.”

With the door closed, most of the sounds coming from the lower level and other rooms muffled out.

Ren looked completely relieved and plopped down on the seat.

Takaya was quick to join him and stretched his legs forward. “So…should we put something on?”

“No, um…” Ren looked a little red, but lowered his head, resting it on Takaya’s shoulder, “I-is…is this okay? I don’t…it’s been a lot.”

Takaya felt his heart beating out of his chest, but he still moved his arm to rest around Ren’s waist, “Yeah, it’s okay.”

It was the best hour he had all year.

--

By their second Christmas and last year in high school, everyone was in the loop. It was understood and generally expected that they were going to be spending the holiday together. Takaya was determined to make it work that year. He pre-ordered movie tickets, looked up hole in the wall restaurants that he was certain wouldn’t be totally crowded, saved up all of his money, and even bought a new shirt for the occasion. After the mess the previous year had been, he was ready to call this their first real Christmas.

Until Japan had what had to have been its heaviest snowfall in all of history.

It had actually started early on the 23rd and the news reports had repeated over and over again that it would be done by the next afternoon, only for the winds to pick up and drop another foot on Saitama over the next two days. Takaya swore it was spite. Some god in the heavens probably saw him and went, “Yeah, that guy? Abe Takaya? Fuck him.”

So that nixed everything. Roads were closed. Trains weren’t running on schedule. Even if places were open there was no way the two of them could get there, much less to each other.

Which left Takaya to sulk in his room. Alone. On Christmas.

He huffed and placed his head on his desk. His mom had tried to reassure him that they could do something in few days, or he could even invite Ren over for the new year, but that just soured his move even more. None of that would be the same, he just wanted this one thing.

When his phone vibrated against his desk, he could feel it in his teeth. He wanted to ignore it, figuring it was one of his parents trying to get his attention. But then he figured it was easier than having them come up to lecture him, so he reached for it anyway.

To his surprise – it was Ren. Ren, who avoided phone calls like the plague. Ren, who initiated emails and conversations once every hundred thousand years when the planets perfectly aligned.

And even more shockingly, it was a video call.

He swiped it open, half expecting Ren to realize he made a mistake and hang up right away.

But there he was, sitting on his bed with the phone at a somewhat awkward, yet definitely intentional angle. “Hi…” he started, a little shakily.

“Hey…”

“I…wanted to see you…”

“Yeah?”

Ren nodded, swallowing hard. The phone shook a little as he fiddled with it, “Yeah.”

Takaya leaned forward, resting the phone against the wall and put his arms under his chin, “This sucks.”

“It’s so cold. And deep. I wanted to come over but my bike—”

“What?! Are you insane? What if you slipped on some ice and broke your arm, or worse cracked your head open?”

He flinched, “I would have been careful.”

“Jeez, just because Koushien is over doesn’t mean you can be so reckless.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, wait just…be careful. At least until we hear back from that scout.”

“Okay…I, um, I wanted…I miss you.”

Takaya felt the tips of his ears warm up, “Yeah, you too.”

They spent the entire day on the phone. By the time Takaya hung up, only because Ren looked ready to pass out and Shun was complaining about him being too loud, his phone felt a bit overheated. Nevertheless, as he plugged it into the charger for the umpteenth time, it still felt like a Christmas well spent.

Next year would be even better, too.

--

The next year was not better. They were together, but it was so, so bad.

Takaya thought living together would have made things like going on dates significantly easier. They weren’t in the city center itself, but close enough to it that they could go out and about whenever the mood struck. Everyone in their building kept mostly to themselves too, so nobody really bothered them. With all this in mind, Christmas should have been a cinch.

Then came Suzuya.

Before that day, Takaya had never met Suzuya and he was pretty sure Ren only ran into her a handful of times. She was a third year at the medical school connected to their university but their paths had never really crossed, despite the fact Takaya was a first year in that same program. Aside from the occasional noise through the paper thin walls, they wouldn’t have even known someone was renting.

But because it was Christmas Eve and they had the worst luck, that’s when she decided to formally introduce herself.

“I made strew because I thought I was going to be home tonight and tomorrow, but some friends invited on a trip,” she held out the pot to Takaya, smiling brightly, “you just need to keep it in the fridge until you’re ready and then heat it up on the stove. You and your roommate play baseball, right? Athletes need to eat.”

“You really don’t have to do this, we have plans tomorrow night and the rest of it will go to waste.”

“Don’t be silly, it’s still better than all of it going to waste. You could have it for lunch tomorrow too. Please, Abe-kun, I insist.”

So he took the stupid pot and put it in the fridge. When Ren got home from visiting is parents, Takaya put it on the stove and followed all the instructions Suzuya had given him. It tasted pretty alright, nothing to write home about and he figured it would work okay for lunch the next day.

And then 4:43AM rolled around.

Takaya had been the first to wake up, feeling slightly off. He swallowed a bit as the weird feeling traveled through his throat and face. He swallowed again. He tried to will himself to get up for some water, but then that ominous thought crossed his mind, “If you sit up, you’re going to throw up.”

He turned his head to look at Ren, silently hoping that this was just some kind of stomach bug and not what he suspected. He wiggled his way out from under Ren’s arm and rolled off the futon, holding his breath as his stomach gurgled. He started to crawl his way to the bathroom when that NOW. NOW. NOW. urgency hit him like a ton of bricks. Takaya scrambled to his feet and ran to the toilet, just barely making it before retching.

When he finally raised his head out of the toilet and flushed, he heard Ren coughing from the kitchen – probably on the tail end of his own vomiting spell. Takaya placed his head against the seat, “I’m going to kill Suzuya.”

It took until the early afternoon for the vomiting and bathroom trips to stop. Hanai had swung by in the hours before to bring them ginger ale, throw out the rest of the stew, clean up Suzuya’s pot, and set up their rice cooker for when they were feeling better.

“If anything,” he commented as he dried the top, “at least you two are consistent. Call me if you guys need anything else. If you’re feeling better by tonight I’m having cake with Shouji-kun and Yuuta-kun, maybe you can swing by.”

As Takaya crawled back into the futon, though, he knew that wasn’t even a possibility. “Christmas is cursed,” he groaned.

Ren buried his head into the pillow, “I’m never eating ever again.”

He pulled the extra blanket up higher, covering their shoulders, “Don’t say that. We’re just never eating anything Suzuya makes, ever again.”

“Mmm…” Ren moved in closer.

Their third Christmas consisted of a few good hours of sleep and two bowls rice of rice seeped in tea. They watched some dumb variety show on TV and read an article about some new baseball anime that would be starting in January. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked.

When Takaya returned the pot a few days later and told Suzuya about the food poisoning, she just shrugged.

“Oh,” Suzuya said, coolly, “that’s too bad.”

And that was when Takaya realized their neighbor was fucking insane.

But that’s a story for another time.

--

The most recent was because Takaya was a giant moron.

Ren was out for most of the day, finishing a project with two of his classmates. That gave Takaya all the time in the world to prepare for their quiet Christmas at home. His motivation going into all of it was the idea that if their attempts to go out always failed, maybe staying at home would work in their favor.

And at that point, it was actually working out in his favor. Suzuya had moved out weeks before (thank god), he hadn’t burned down the house making dinner, and the dishes weren’t a complete pain to clean up. That just left one thing.

Takaya reached into the pocket of his sweatshirt and pulled out a small box. He felt like an idiot, but Yuuto-kun had made a joke way back in the summer, and the idea stuck in the back of his head. He opened it up and pulled it out to inspect it.

It wasn’t an engagement ring, okay? It wasn’t that serious. It was…a promise of what could maybe, possibly, hopefully become one someday. Ren definitely wouldn’t wear it all the time, it would probably break during practice, and Takaya doubted it would ever actually leave the box but…well…ugh…

His all the lamenting about his dumb ideas, his brain decided that holding the ring in between his thumb and index finger was too much of a strain. It slipped out of his grip and clanked first against the edge of the counter, then into the sink, and finally into the drain. He swore he saw his entire bank account flash in front of his eyes.

Just as he was about to scream, he noticed that it hadn’t completely fallen down and was just sitting at the very bottom. Surely, surely he could get it out. All he hand to do was reach in and…

How was he supposed to know his hand would get stuck?!

Even more panic rushed through his body as he heard the door open and close behind him.

“I’m home…” Ren greeted.

“Welcome back…help me.”

Ren rushed over to his side, looked down at his hand, at Takaya’s face, and then back down in the sink. He pressed his lips firmly closed to stifle a laugh.

“No, this isn’t funny. I’m stuck. Help.”

“O-okay, just…” he struggled as he tried not to laugh, “h-how did y-you…”

“I’ll explain later. Get butter.”

All the butter did was make his hand feel disgusting, so did the oil. It was amazing he was still holding onto the ring when all was said and done.

When he finally gave in and let Ren call 119, the paramedics laughed at him for a solid minute. Still they were able to pull his hand out without breaking it, so it was worth it.

The ring did slip out of his fingers again, but thankfully it just fell onto the edge of the sink. Of course it was right where Ren could see it, though.

Ren’s eyes widened a bit. The paramedics looked at the two of them, one looked mortified and quickly scurried out while the other stopped to clap his shoulder before following after. Takaya mentally screamed at the demon that seemed intent to ruin every Christmas he had with Ren.

 Takaya sighed and leaned against the counter, careful of his still tender hand, “I’m not asking you to…it’s not like…maybe someday?”

Ren picked up the ring and wiped it on his shirt. It didn’t really fit when he slid it on his finger, but they could probably get it resized after the new year. “Someday.”

They both knew they had countless Christmases to get it right.  

[misomilk]

To: Maddy ( @brokuro ) Fr: Lea ( misomilk ) for @oofurixmas 2017

Hello, Maddy! Merry Christmas to you! I hope your Christmas Eve has been filled with lots of food and love and cheer, and may your Christmas day be filled with those even more! I’ve got 10 drabbles for you here, each of them concentrating on a Nishiura member + bonus or two (It’s a surprise!). I hope you enjoy all of them, and I hope the boys will be as in-character to your liking. Please have lots of fun while reading these!

Again, Merry Christmas! :)

Rating: G Total Word Count: ~9000 WARNING: hint-y abe+mihashi, pre-relationship. not much shipping aside from them

10.

After the loss against Sakitama, Nishihiro had fallen sick. Though he had been substituted in as a game-changer by the 6th inning in place of Mizutani, and he had redeemed himself for getting on base, he could not convince himself he had been able to give it his all. Getting sick right after the game doesn’t help much either. With nothing to do, and all the time in the world in his hands, he cannot stop himself from sinking further into negative thoughts. Like, maybe it would be alright to just… leave the club, especially when he’s this useless. Useless against Sakitama, who they once managed to beat in a called game. Even more so against Bijou-dai Sayama months ago.

He shakes his head violently to chase those thoughts away, the memory of that last at-bat making him shake to the bone.

No, he tells himself. I can contribute better to this team.

With his head pounding, and his eyes falling closed on their own, he lets sleep claim him.

***

Nishihiro feels as if he’s being pulled away from his dreams, he hears murmurs of a bunch of people. Though they’re mere buzz to his ears, he can tell they all sound familiar, and they feel so close, like home. He feels himself floating to the surface of his dreams, rising to be awake but his eyes refusing to open. The light blares even beneath his eyelids.

“Sssh, Tajima. Where in the world have you been?” says that kind, but firm tone of their shortstop. Sakitama wouldn’t have won if Nishihiro had caught the ball Suyama so accurately threw towards him. But it slipped through Nishihiro’s grip.

“There was so much manga in that room down the hallway. I even saw some about baseball. That’s pretty cool, isn’t it?” Their fifth batter’s voice breaks from excitement.

“You shouldn’t walk around people’s houses so freely.”

Tajima laughs. “Suyama, you sound like Yuuto… But really, we’re talking manga here. Baseball manga!! It’s the coolest!”

Another pair of voices converse, muffled stomps of feet sounding against the floor of his room.

“O-O-O-Oki-kun, I g-got ice from Ni-Nishihiro-kun’s mom.”

“Thanks, Mihashi. Place them into the basin so we can change the towel on his head.”

Right as Nishihiro feels weight come off his forehead, he slowly opens his eyes. He hears a choir of gasps around the room. Silence passing them as he takes a look on each of his guests.

“Y-you guys…” Nishihiro speaks weakly, not so much because of how his body aches, but because of an energy that fills his bones and his chest. His eyes sting, heart feeling warm. He’s never been visited by friends while he was sick before. Before Nishihiro could ask them why they thought of coming, Suyama beats him to the punch.

“Sorry for waking you up.” Nishihiro watches Suyama walk closer to his bed and sits on floor upon his knees. “Everyone wanted to come check on you, but we were afraid of overcrowding your place, so it’s just us. How are you feeling?”

“Better than before I slept, I think.” Nishihiro manages to laugh weakly. He feels weight on his forehead. He looks up to see Oki has placed the cold towel there. They share a moment, smiling at each other like they do sometimes when they’re passing papers to the front in class after a test. A moment of shared relief. He looks sideways to see Mihashi, fidgeting like usua,l but with wide eyes filled with concern for him, and Tajima, looking at him with his wide, relaxed smile.

It feels good. His whole body suddenly feels good. Like he’s been given a power up because his teammates came to visit him. His whole team wanted to visit him.

“That’s good that you’re feeling better.” Suyama nods, dependable big brother smile on his face. “Rest well and drink lots of fluids so you get better faster.”

Nishihiro sees Tajima nudge Mihashi, turning his attention to them.

“Y-yea!” Mihashi chimes in, nodding his head. “Ni-Nishihiro-kun, p-please get better soon. We’re-- All-- We’re-- Everyone-- We’re waiting-- For you. So. Come back.” Mihashi swallows, then tries to catch his breath. “Quickly.”

“That’s right!” Tajima grins. “We’re not a complete team without you after all.”

Nishihiro widens his eyes, surprised at what their once cleanup has said. For Tajima of all people, of all their members to say that-- It weighs a lot in his heart, and further increases his happiness.

“Thank you, guys.” Nishihiro wipes his eye, preventing teardrops in their attempt to escape. “Thank you. After Sakitama’s game-- I-- I really thought...” I really thought you guys would never want me back.

“PLUS BEAM!” Oki shouts. The other four in the room look towards him, and see his arms in a plus sign. “You’re not allowed to say that, Nishihiro. P-PLUS BEAM!”

Nishihiro smiles, his heart beaming with renewed vigor. He feels like he can be 100% better tomorrow, even with the power of his mentality alone. He needs to go back to his team, after all. They’re all waiting for him. He puts his hands in a plus sign. “Plus!”

They’re all waiting for him.

******

9.

It’s funny how quickly days have turned to weeks, to months, to years. Though it just seems like just yesterday when he was tricked by Abe into a Three At-Bat challenge against Mihashi, here they stand, all ten of them, taking in the sights, the smells, the feel.

Koushien’s soil is soft, yet firm beneath his spiked shoes. This is it.

Finally. This is it.

They had placed top above everyone else in their prefecture, beat champion high schools, and finally they earned the chance to stand here, among the best of the best.

“I know,” he starts his speech to his teammates, the original ten. His second family. He has to shout when the chatter of more than 60,000 people in the stands can challenge the buzz of a bee right beside one’s ear. He can see the excitement and fear in all their faces, standing built with power in their arms, legs and torsos. “I know how you’re all feeling. We’ve come so far.”

The crowd cheers wildly, announcements starting. The vibe is immense, but they won’t crumble to this pressure.

“We’re thinking ‘This is it! This is the first of the last few steps towards our goal!’ But let us remember…” He pauses, closing his eyes, preparing the voice in his chest to shout out their ale. He can feel how tightly they cling onto each other, for this first team circle they have against other top teams.

How far will they go? How many more matches are left for them to cheer in this circle until this last year together comes to a close?

He breathes, taken back to the baseball field at home, the cool misty mornings, teammates’ hands warm within his own. He opens his eyes, observes each of his teammates, pride swelling warmly in his chest. They’ve all changed since they were younger. They’re all much stronger now. They’ve come so far. So far.

Then he yells, their usual spell for a good game. “Don’t focus on last time!”

“OH!”

“Don’t focus on the future!”

“OH!”

“Don’t let your guard down!”

“OH!”

“We will play with?”

“PLUS THINKING!”

“NISHIURAAAAAA! FIGHT!”

“OOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!”

******

8.

A slump. This has to be it. Like he’s sinking even though he can see with his two eyes that his feet are solidly planted onto the ground. This is definitely a slump.

It started with their first game for the summer competition of their second year, and continued on to their third game. The opponent teams have been on high guard for Nishiura’s lead-off hitter. He’s established the record of getting on base, and scoring runs far more often than any opponent would desire.

Then again, if it’s put that way, then it isn’t much of a slump at all, he realizes. The teams they play against--they’re all heavily guarded against him, meaning he’s that valuable of a player to his team. But-- But he shouldn’t let himself be caught by their trap, by their strategies, by their adjustments to limit where he can bat. He can’t keep losing to them. There’s got to be a loophole. There has to be. And he has to train his eyes harder to see it, and train his arms so he can swing the bat and take the ball farther than they can imagine.

It’s tough, being trusted to be good, yet not the best. It’s a comfortable space to be, that he has the freedom and flexibility to grow at the rate he wishes. But it’s tough. It’s tough. Seeing how the top two of their team are far from his own capabilities.

“Kou-chan!” Tajima grabs him, an arm hooking over both his shoulders as he pulls Izumi down. Izumi’s grown close to two inches the past year, Tajima’s height is pretty much the same as their first year.

“What?” Izumi asks, normally as he would. He closes his eyes when he sees Tajima’s finger going towards them, but instead of feeling the finger jab his eye, he feels it jab the in-between of his eyebrows.

“You’re thinking too much.” Tajima lets him go and slaps him hard on the butt. It makes Izumi yelp. “You’re losing your cool, Suke-kou~”

Izumi groans. He’s told him countless times to stop twisting his name that way. “Yuu, don’t you dare.”

“Suke-kou’s gonna stay Suke-kou until Suke-kou loosens up.”

“Yuu, I swear--” Izumi dashes off, his words lost to the speed of him running. His feet quickly go one in front of the other to chase Tajima who’s had a fraction of a second headstart. (It’s funny how scared Tajima looked before he started running.) They run, towards the right field, hearing Hanai call out after them but they don’t pay him any mind. Izumi feels this burning need pulsing in his veins to catch Tajima--number one skilled player, quickest feet, running effortlessly enough that he’s laughing while he’s running.

Izumi runs. He runs. He runs. He has to. He has to catch up, otherwise he feels like he’d stay in this slump forever. They run towards the center field, where Izumi manages to outrun him, aiming to trap Tajima rather than grab him, but Tajima manages to stop on his tracks. They reach a draw, Izumi blocking off Tajima’s path wherever he tries to move, but then Tajima manages to trick him with a sidestep, making him able to run towards the bases again.

“Hah, hah~ Can’t catch me, Suke-kou~” Tajima taunts as he runs away towards the third base now.

“You guys, come back here!” Izumi hears Sakaeguchi call out from the distance, but his focus stays on Tajima.

Then for a moment, Izumi feels like his feet feel lighter, and his legs feel smoother. Like he’s a tin man whose joints have been oiled. It’s easier to bring each foot forward, like he leaves fire in his wake at the speed he runs. He runs. He runs. He runs. And just before Tajima manages to step onto the home plate, Izumi grabs him by the back of his uniform, and pulls him back, preventing him from landing the base.

“No!! Let me go!”

“I will not. Just who are you calling Suke-kou, huh? HUH?” Izumi manages to grab the sides of Tajima’s head and noogie him the way Abe used to do to Mihashi.

“Ow, ow, ow, OW! OUCH!! Stop! Stop! Okay! I’ll stop!”

“Hey, you two. Stop horsing around.” Hanai walks over to them. “Tajima, I told you to stop running around so freely. You haven’t even properly warmed up yet.”

“But it was Kou-chan that threatened me. I was running for my dear life, you know! He’s got the intense aura of a monster when he’s angry.” Tajima walks off with Hanai, following him to the bench.

“Then why tick him off in the first place?”

Izumi stays in place, heaving with breath, internalizing what Tajima had just said. His aura? Does he mean his presence? A presence powerful enough that makes even the fearless Tajima cower and run away. It brings pleasing jitters across Izumi’s skin, and a smile on his face.

“Kou-chan,” Mihashi approaches him. Izumi looks to him to see he’s handing him a bottle of water, which he gratefully takes and drinks from. “You’re f-f-feeling better?”

“Ahhh,” Izumi heaves a deep, refreshed sigh as he finishes the contents of the bottle, topping it with a smile. “Yeah, Ren.” He chuckles as ruffles Mihashi’s hair. He walks to the bench where Hanai and Tajima are still (friendly) arguing to refill his bottle.

A presence immense enough to scare even Tajima. Izumi grins again as he refills his bottle with water (not knowing he’s made Tajima flinch, caught by surprise at the sudden intensity coming from him). Maybe he can work with that.

He’s not as tall and capable as Hanai, nor is he small and naturally-gifted with talent as Tajima, but he can have this. He can scare the fielders and pitcher alike with his presence, so they won’t even dare challenge him. Make them cower so that they’ll forget how to deal with him, and give him the loopholes in their defenses that Izumi had been so trained to do.

This could get very interesting.

******

7.

Mizutani stands at the batter’s box, the score at a comfortable 2-0 at the bottom of the third inning. Comfortable--that is, for him, because he thinks his team can totally win against the opponent, but for Momokan who’s looking pretty aggressive as she’s signing at him from the dugout, she’s extremely hungry for more points.

It kind of scares Mizutani, the way she’s glaring, granted Oki had batted an almost clean grounder before him, just that the opponent team’s pitcher was way too good and was able to throw to first faster than Oki could run. (Oki has been putting a bit more of muscle lately. Which makes Mizutani himself realize he should really gear up and take his own efforts to the next level.)

He’s lost in his own thoughts however, that by the time he looks away from Momokan to look at the pitcher and assume the proper batting position he should, his mind goes black.

Uhm.

Uhm.

Uhm.

What did Momokan sign to him again? Was he supposed to bunt? Was he supposed to hit? A grounder? Or let the ball fly? Wait, he’s supposed to look at positions of the batters-- Oh, no! The pitcher threw!!!!

‘I gotta hit it!!’ Mizutani thinks as he swings, his mind full of panic. He misses, of course. He could feel the ball swoosh way over where he swung his bat.

“Strike!”

Mizutani tries to breathe as he adjusts his position, swinging his bat. What is he so nervous for? This is their third game of the season. He’s gotta summon ‘Nice batting’ Mizutani. Come on. Come on.

He looks over at Momokan, her face in a more relaxed vibe, though the glint in her eyes shows: What are you doing? That wasn’t what I told you to do.

Momokan is scary. She always is. She’s terrifying, and it makes him respect her so much. He reads her signs. To wait for this pitch, and watch where the ball goes. Okay. He can manage that.

He does as told, and holds his stance, though he was extremely tempted to swing his bat. Surely enough, the pitch is a “Ball!”, towards the outside.

Alright. Moment of glory coming up. He’ll definitely get on base. He looks over at Momokan, determined to do what she tells him to.

***

“Ahhh, that tired me out, man.” Mizutani sighs when he gets to the dugout. He’d gotten on base during his at-bat, ran to second during Mihashi’s, and now he had just ran home after Izumi hit a double. The score at 3-0 now.

“Nice run!” Sakaeguchi pats him on the back as he changes his glove. The others remain by the railing, shouting out cheers towards Abe.

“Thank you.” Mizutani sighs again.

“What’s wrong?”

Mizutani moves closer to whisper. “Doesn’t it bother you sometimes how detailed Momokan’s signs are?”

“Eh? Not really?” Sakaeguchi replies, his eyebrow raising. “It helps a lot that she’s so specific with her strategies.”

“I agree.” Suyama chimes in, getting ready to go into the next-batter’s box. Mizutani looks at him while he grabs himself a drink. “What she tells me to do really helps me focus on what my role is for that at-bat.“

“Really? Hmmm,” Mizutani crosses his arms, leaning against the railing. “Well, that is true. But don’t you forget sometimes which signs mean what?”

Sakaeguchi laughs softly. “Are you serious?”

“Super serious.”

“Oh.”

“Well, more like I’m mixing some signs from last year with this year. I guess? I don’t know!” Mizutani sobs a little, wiping his face onto his arms. “I’m sorry! It’s really hard!”

”Ahahaha. It’s alright, Fumi.” Sakaeguchi pats him on the back. “Do you want me to go over the signs again with you?”

The sound of a ball hitting the bat clanks. Abe gets to first base. The team cheers together, “NICE BATTING!”

Mizutani takes another gulp of water as he watches Momokan sign to Suyama. “Yes, please. Teach me, Yuuto.”

“Of course.”

Reference: The batting order I thought they went with in this game: Izumi - Abe - Suyama - Hanai - Tajima - Sakaeguchi - Oki - Mizutani - Mihashi. Just in case it got confusing. XD

******

6. (ref)

Before the start of classes on their second year, while the cherry blossoms were in full bloom, the Nishiura boys and Shinooka planned to get together to watch the cherry blossoms in full bloom. Suyama is on his way to their meeting place now, seated on the train, basket of food that he prepared on top of his lap. He hopes his teammates will really like all the food that he prepared. They’re on break from club activities that Saturday to give them rest until club activities start again the following Monday.

He watches the scenery on the other side of the train, barely changing as the train whips past farmlands and wide open areas. He closes his eyes, remembering how different it had been when they were on the train to Koushien, with buildings zooming by. Funny how long ago that already is. It’s been months since they went there as a team. Hopefully, this coming summer, they’ll get to go again. This time, as actual participants of the matches.

Suyama feels the train come to a stop. He doesn’t bother opening his eyes, knowing that his stop won’t be for another five stations.

A surprised “Hm? Suyama?” is what makes him opens his eyes. His eyes refocus for a moment, and after he blinks a few times, he realizes Nishihiro is standing in front of him.

“Nishihiro?”

His teammate nods his head in warm greeting. “May I sit beside you?”

“Of course!” Suyama pats the seat to his left, and lets Nishihiro sit down, watching him put his own basket--half the size Suyama carries--on his lap, too. A few moments pass in silence as the train starts to take up speed again. Suyama turns to Nishihiro to talk. “What a surprise to see you ride the train from there. You don’t live in that area, right? I don’t think we had to ride our bikes this far out when we came to visit you in November.”

“Ah, yeah.” Nishihiro laughs softly. “My mom had me drop off my little sister at our grandma’s.”

“Ooh,” Suyama nods his head. He snickers, teasing. “What a responsible older brother you are. Handling her alone all the way out here.”

“Tell me about it.” Nishihiro sighs, acting tired, but then a warm smile is on his face. “She kept going on and on about getting off at the park a few stations back.” “Right. The one with the big red slide you can see from the train.”

“Yeap. It was hard keeping her from crying. But I’m sure she’ll have fun with grandma. Grandma likes spoiling her.”

Suyama smiles. It’s nice getting to know about his teammates lives outside of baseball like this.

“But wow, Suyama. You sure have a big basket with you today.”

The shortstop smiles, toothy this time. “Sure do. I made a ton of dishes for you guys to eat, so I hope you’ve all got empty stomachs.”

“Whoa! What-- Wow. Really? You made all of that?” Nishihiro’s eyes widen, though when the light from the other side of the train flashes at his eyes he closes them for a moment, then shakes his head. “That’s amazing.”

“Well, my mom helped me out a lot once it was getting too late into the night.”

“But before that?”

Suyama laughs, a little embarrassed he has to admit how much effort he put into these dishes. “I made them by myself, since I got home from practice. That was around 9 o’clock, I guess. She didn’t help me until around 11:30.”

“WOW!” Nishihiro grins wide, like when he catches fly balls. Suyama appreciates the genuineness of it. “That’s seriously amazing. I definitely couldn’t handle cooking that late. And after practice, too!”

“It helps that I just really love cooking. I haven’t had much time to because of practice.”

“Yeah, I can tell from the food you sometimes bring to share with us that you really must love cooking.” Nishihiro nods his head, the compliment making Suyama feel really nice. Like a warm fluff in his chest. “I look forward to eating your food later, Suyama.”

“Good. You better stuff your face with ‘em.” “Of course!”

They laugh for a while, then Suyama points out the basket on Nishihiro’s lap. “Did you make this, too?”

“Oh! Oh, no. Actually, it’s from grandma. I picked it up when I dropped my sister off.”

“I see.”

“I’ll give you the biggest serving, Suyama. In return for always giving us such delicious food.” Nishihiro smiles at him.

“Oh, come on.”

The five stations seem to pass in just a few seconds, now that Suyama’s waiting with someone. When they get to Kawaracho station, where they all agreed to meet up at, most of the members were already there. Only Abe and Oki aren’t there yet. Tajima’s already being rowdy with Mihashi, laughing out loud, with Hanai trying to keep him quiet. It seems the brotherly duo had been driven there by Mihashi’s mom, and Tajima was talking about Mihashi’s funny antics then. Aside from Suyama and Nishihiro, Mihashi and Mizutani were carrying baskets, too. Though by the look of things, it seems that Mizutani’s only carrying the basket Shinooka had brought. The others have coolers, and Sakaeguchi had a huge shopping bag with the blue film they’ll be sitting on.

When the last two members arrive, they walk together towards the park. Though they decided to meet up as early as 8 o’clock, there were barely any spots left where they could sit near the station. They needed to walk a long way, perhaps more than three-quarters of the stretch of cherry blossom trees and rapeseed flowers--a long walk that none of them seemed to mind. They were all busy talking to each other on the way, filling the would-be silence with random stories, new things they learned, and asking for bat swinging tips. None of them could keep quiet, not even Mihashi--who talked excitedly between his stutters.

Once Tajima started running off to an area a few meters away, they realize he’s running to an empty area near the side of the road that should be big enough space for all of them. Half of them followed suit to hurriedly take claim of the area before anyone else could.

“It looks good!” The team says together once they’ve laid down the sheet, and set down the food. “Let’s eat!”

Suyama watches the pleasant smiles on his teammates’ faces as they eat the food he made. He told Nishihiro he was able to stick to cooking so late in the night before simply because he loved cooking, but maybe he had something pushing him a little more than that. Seeing his teammates’ faces--the sparkle in Mihashi’s eyes as he eats the bacon-wrapped vegetables, the loudness of Tajima’s “WOW” when he ate the eggplant stuffed with tomato, Izumi’s wide grin as he compliments Suyama’s take on teriyaki sauce. He could go on and on, noting every smile, every sparkle, and every seldom wince when they find something they don’t like eating in the food (and then the satisfaction that comes right after when they realize they like how Suyama seasoned that disliked food). Suyama’s cheeks dust a little pink when Shinooka tells him he’d make a great husband, knowing of course she doesn’t necessarily mean she wants him to be her husband. But it’s a great deal of a compliment.

With the cherry blossoms floating in the wind, their laughter riding the relaxing sounds of a nearby river, they spend a few hours there--simply enjoying each other’s company, sharing experiences besides baseball, and strengthening their bond to last them even way beyond their high school years.

******

5.

“HANAI!” Tajima shouts out to him on their way up the stairs. The entire team is currently heading to the table tennis room, since they have already rested a bit after dinner. It’ll be a good, light workout for their bodies, said Shigapo.

“What?” Hanai shifts his body to look back once he’s at the top of the stairs. Tajima rushes past his other teammates. (Sakaeguchi calls after him, “Tajima, don’t be too reckless!”) “Whoa, hey, be careful!”

Tajima arrives at the top of the stairs beside Hanai with a grin that goes from cheek to cheek. He grabs Hanai’s arm. “Let’s play together.”

“What? But-- Hey, wait!”

There’s nothing Hanai could say to argue as he’s pulled quickly towards the table tennis room.

“Come on, come on!” Tajima pushes the doors open and rushes to the container where the paddles and balls are kept.

Hanai, who’d been left at the door, holds the door frame to balance himself. It takes up so much energy to be whipped around by a storm like Tajima.

“Here you go.” Tajima hands him a paddle, then rushes over to the farthest table.

Hanai walks after him, taking the opposite side of the table. He watches Tajima practically bounce as he waits for Hanai to take his stance. “You know, Shinooka told Mizutani and me we should be free after dinner. I think she’s going to--”

“It’ll be okay, okay~? She’s still eating with the moms. Which means we should compete for the highest score before she comes up. Come on!” Tajima bounces the ball onto the table, getting ready to serve.

“I really don’t think I should--”

Whoosh. The ball whips past Hanai’s right side. Tajima had served, and it bounced on Hanai’s side of the table before he

Tajima laughs out loud, and grins, his chest puffed out in pride. “Hah, one point for me.”

Hanai looks at the ball that bounced off the wall, now rolling towards the bottom of the table. He should feel cheated that he’d lost a point right when he wasn’t ready, when he hasn’t even summoned his game spirit. However, he finds that he isn’t irritated at all. But there is this certain fire burning in him, that call to compete with Tajima that he can rarely back down from pumping in his veins. “Alright. Fine. You asked for this.”

Tajima watches Hanai’s face shift to a competitive smile, and it makes him grins even wider. That’s right. That’s how Tajima likes Hanai most. When Hanai doesn’t back down, and gives his all--that’s when they can have the most fun together.

“Here it comes.”

They get the ball to go back and forth for quite a few minutes after Hanai serves, and it ends as Tajima’s first point. When they’re tied at 9-9, their rally goes over four minutes.

“Wow, those two have been at it for a while.” Izumi says from the other side of the room.

“Yeah, they’re still on that rally even though Suyama and I have been on, hmm,” Sakaeguchi counts with his fingers. “Three? Rallies?” Suyama laughs light. “Yeah.”

The other pairs stop their own playing to watch the two’s rally. Another minute passes, and they’re still going. “Stay sharp, Hanai!” Izumi teases.

“G-Go, Tajima-kun! Ha-Hanai-kun!” Mihashi cheers.

The rest of the boys start cheering and teasing, and the room grows noisier.

“Hanai-kun? Mizutani-kun?” Shinooka peeks her head into the room before she walks inside and calls for them. She’d just finished eating dinner.

“Oh, Shinooka!” Mizutani waves at her to come closer. They’re all huddled around the table where Hanai and Tajima are still playing. The ball still hasn’t fallen.

At least, not until she’s halfway through the room. That’s when the boys started shouting “OOOOHHH!!!!!!!!” Tajima had Hanai in a corner, relentlessly assaulting him with fast, sharp returns. Hanai can barely keep up, but he’s staying on his toes. It isn’t until Tajima swipes the ball towards the opposite corner where Hanai is, letting it bounce off almost at the edge of the table, that Hanai’s knee makes him tumble to the floor. He was unable to return it. The rally had ended. Point to Tajima.

The rest of the team applauds them for that amazing rally.

“Good game?” Tajima heaves for breath, smiling that ear-to-ear grin of his as he holds out a hand to Hanai. He’s so content. He always has so much fun competing with their captain. He doesn’t even care that he won 10-9. Just the thrill of it makes him so happy.

“Good game.” Hanai takes his hand and shakes it, the other boys dispersing as they talk about their favorite moments from that intense rally. “Next time, I’ll definitely wipe the floor with you.”

Tajima laughs. “Gotta see you try.”

“Hanai-kun!” Shinooka calls out to him. She’s standing by the wall with Mizutani beside her.

“Alright, I’m coming. Let me just get a drink.”

“Okay!”

Tajima watches Hanai walk away, smiling. Still completely content. His attention veers away from Hanai when Sakaeguchi stands opposite to him.

“Had fun?” Sakaeguchi asks him as he picks up the ball from the floor.

Tajima grins at him. Yes, he’s had fun. Yes, he’s still feeling super giddy from that rally. He hopes he can play like that with Hanai again. “Had loads of fun! I won’t back down from you either, Sakaeguchi!”

******

4.

Amidst battling through small-time spring tournaments in their second year, his mother’s death anniversary passed without Sakaeguchi having time to visit her grave. That Friday, before they leave for their Golden Week training, Momokan announced they will end practice early on Saturday, supposedly to give them time for all the packing they need to do for the coming week. The corners of Sakaeguchi’s lips curve a bit upward, happy he can use the time to visit his dearest mother. He was supposed to go on the day they all arranged for a picnic together, but they ended up spending that whole day together, that he found it difficult to excuse himself.

This time, for sure. He’ll go to her.

***

Friday’s practice session ends, the stars shining high above them as they change clothes in the benches.

“Yuuto,” Suyama approaches him, already in his uniform.

Sakaeguchi is in the middle of buttoning up his shirt as he turns to Suyama. “Yeah?”

“Remember we were talking about shopping for new shoes? I was wondering if we could go do that tomorrow, since we’re ending practice early.”

“Ooh, new shoes?” Mizutani chimes in after he’d just pushed his head through his undershirt. He tucks it into his school slacks as he speaks. “I wanna come, too! Mine have been so worn out.”

Suyama smiles toward Mizutani. “It’ll be a nice start to the new year ahead of us. And the training camp will be a great chance to break it in.”

“That’s true. I’m in!!” Mizutani laughs.

“Alright.”

“Actually…” Sakaeguchi finally finds the right timing to cut between them. The two look towards him, a questioning look on their faces. “Sorry, guys. I’ll have to pass.”

A moment passes them. (A moment when Abe’s “Ren, have you eaten the extra onigiri I had Shinooka make? You need the energy to pedal home.” and Mihashi’s excited “Y-Yeah!” echoed loudly through the bench area.)

“Is something wrong?” Suyama asks, his voice laced with concern. “You look a little troubled.”

“Nothing’s wrong, Shouji.” Sakaeguchi smiles as he resumes changing. He places his arms through his school shirt and buttons it up. “I’m really happy you’re inviting me to shop, but tomorrow’s-- Well…” He pauses to breathe. “See, I’m going to visit my mom tomorrow.”

“Oh… Right.” Suyama nods his head, understanding immediately what he meant. Sakaeguchi had mentioned it to him in their first year, how he had lost his mom in spring of his 2nd year in middle school. How whenever the cherry blossoms bloom he remembers her warm smile, the echo of her ‘Welcome home, Yuuto’ no matter how late his practices got, and the delicious picnic food she used to make for them to watch its beautiful petals fall. Most of all, her unfaltering support for him and his love for baseball.

Mizutani looks from Suyama to Sakaeguchi, and back. “Is his mom not at home? Is she at the hospital?”

“No, Fumi. She’s--” He breathes, deep. Sometimes, it’s still hard for him to say it. Strange, when he’s gotten used to going home to just his siblings and his dad. How they’re already well accustomed to housework, taught well by their mother before she left. “She’s already passed away.”

“OH!” Mizutani shouts out loud, alarming the others in the bench. “Oh… S-Sorry. I--I didn’t mean to--”

“It’s alright.” Sakaeguchi smiles, finished dressing up. “It’s okay now. My family and I-- We’re all okay.”

She took care of them so well, they were able to adjust to her absence. It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t. But it’s nice to see that though she may be physically absent, she’s embedded in every chore, in every thought, in every conversation between the three of them. She’s still alive within them.

“But yeah, I wasn’t able to go visit her grave on her anniversary, so I thought I’d like to go tomorrow.”

“Why don’t we all go, then?” Suyama suggests, Mizutani smiles wide at him, then excitedly nods his head towards Sakaeguchi.

“Yeah! What do you say, guys?” Mizutani extends the invitation to the rest of the team, explaining to them when they reacted with “What?”s and “What’s happening?”s.

Sakaeguchi feels a pat on his shoulder, and when he looks over, he sees it’s Izumi. “Let’s meet at the gate after school, then we can all ride our bikes to the station, then ride the train from there. Right, Yuuto?”

“Eh? Eh? Really?” Sakaeguchi looks around his team, an overwhelming happiness coming over him. “Is it really alright with you guys? You don’t have to--”

“Of course, it’s alright.” Hanai nods his head. (Tajima yells to him teasingly, “What about your cram school, Azusa~?” “SHUT UP, TAJIMA!”) The captain clears his throat, calming himself from the sudden outburst at Tajima. “We’d all love to go with you and greet your mom. That is, of course, if it’s alright with you and your family.”

Sakaeguchi is left speechless, tears welling in his eyes. “Ye--Yeah. I’d be so honored. I’m sure she’d love to meet you all. Thank you, really. Thanks all of you.”

The team smile at each other, then disperse as they walk to their bikes, bags slung over their shoulders. Mihashi walks beside Sakaeguchi, asking about his mom.

“She must have b-b-been very kind.” Mihashi says, wide-eyed with wonder and his lips curved deep into a smile. “Because-- Yuuto-- You’re a-- a very nice person.”

Sakaeguchi laughs, warmth filling his heart as he ruffles Mihashi’s hair. “Thanks, Ren. That’s really sweet.”

“Uhehe.” Mihashi laughs, blushing deeply at being praised.

The following day, once they’re all at Sakaeguchi’s mother’s humble grave, they stack package over package of mochi before her, each of them having brought one to offer her. Sakaeguchi smiles at her, his hands and eyes closed in prayer.

Because you supported me playing baseball, I found these wonderful friends. Thank you, mom.

******

3.

Clang.

The sound of his bat hitting the ball. It’s clear, loud, and rings in his ears--delicious as success. He watches, mouth agape, as the ball keeps going, going, going and going. For a moment, everything is silent. His breath still. All he can feel is a warmth spreading throughout his body, a certain high incoming.

He can’t hear the cheers of the stands. The cheers of his teammates. If only he would look towards the dugout, he would see his coach looking at him with much pride.

The ball goes, and goes, and goes.

It falls, hits the metal of the scoreboard that’s right above center field.

A homerun.

A homerun.

It’s a homerun.

He remains standing there, in disbelief. Had he been the one to bat that? Is all this for real? Is this a dream?

“KAZU!!!” yells Tajima, who had stood at second base when Oki hit that homerun.

He hit a homerun.

Tajima hugs him tight from when he’s run past third base and came back home, where Oki remains standing, struck with shock.

“KA!!! ZU!!!!” Tajima yells again, shaking him. He slaps his buttocks to snap Oki awake. Oki looks down towards their fifth batter, who’s grinning widely, ear to ear. “Go run and have the crowd cheer for you, damn it!!! That was so cool!”

Tajima slaps his buttocks one more time before he starts running.

Oki jogs to the first base, seeing the Nishiura crowd on the stands doing a huge wave. He jogs to the second base, finally hearing all the loud cheers, “GREAT JOB, OKI!” from the stands and the “NICE BATTING!” from the dugout. He jogs to the third base, seeing the despaired look on the opposite team’s faces. He quickly looks away from them. He looks forward, towards home--he glances left to his team, all wide smiles and loud cheering.

That’s when it hits him.

He hit a homerun.

He helped turn the game around on the bottom of the eighth.

Him. Shy and not as outspoken as the others as he is. He’s built strength in his arms, and swung the bat hundreds of times each day for this.

For this.

When he gets to their dugout, everyone ruffles his hair. Everyone is so happy. Everyone has been filled with renewed hope. Oki mentally pats himself on the back, knowing he did good today.

No.

He did great.

******

2.

Too close.

Way too close.

Abe wonders how is it that the year previous, Mihashi and Kanou clearly knew each other but stayed at the distance of acquaintances, yet now they’re buddy-buddies? Look at Kanou, laughing with Mihashi, calling him “Ren” with his arm over his shoulder, laughing about things Abe is so damn curious to know, but he knows he can’t squeeze himself in and ask. Had those two been that close before things went down at Mihoshi? The mere thought makes Abe’s blood boil.

“Takaya,” Tajima calls out.

Abe immediately turns his head towards Tajima, fire in his eyes, unable to hide the embers of jealousy burning within. “WHAT.”

“You’ll scare Ren off.”

Abe tsks loudly to let off the steam, loud enough for Izumi and a few others a bench away from them to hear.

(“What’s with him?” Suyama asks.

“Ren problems.” Izumi replies.)

***

“100! Alright, that’s it. Nice pitching.” Abe says as he walks up to Mihashi from the bullpen. Mihashi giggles in that unique way of his whenever he gets praised, with his arms waving like jelly. He looks like a jellyfish about to float away, and though if Mihashi had done this in the past, Abe would’ve been irritated, now he finds it quite endearing. “Time to do your counter weight lifting.”

“O-okay!”

They make their way to the benches where they’d set up a similar weightlifting area to that at school. Mihashi positions himself to start lifting the weight with his left hand. ‘Slowly’ he seems to remind himself, as he starts a slow beat.

Abe watches him, making sure his body’s not awkwardly positioned anywhere. Once Mihashi’s around the 50 count, Abe’s thoughts start straying away. It’s quite unlike him to dare think of something else while observing Mihashi, but his mind cannot help wandering back to Mihashi and Kanou being so close. What makes Kanou so special? he wonders. He may have known Mihashi longer, but it’s Abe himself that helped bring out Mihashi’s potential.

The catcher’s eyes seem to burn with his rage, alerting Mihashi--who thought he must be doing something wrong to warrant himself that glare.

“It’s nothing! Don’t worry about it.” Abe says, harsher than he intended. “Keep going.”

“Oh! O-o-okay.” Mihashi nods, and continues on.

Abe groans. He tries to shift his focus back onto Mihashi lifting. 70. 71. 72. Kanou’s arm over Mihashi’s shoulders. 75. 76. 77. 7… How nice would it feel if Abe puts his arm over Mihashi’s shoulder?

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!” Abe shouts out loud, utterly embarrassed by the image he created in his head. How utterly warm his chest felt, and how his stomach tossed and turned pleasantly. Mihashi yelps at the sudden noise, incredibly alarmed.

“Ah, s--sorry. Sorry, Ren.” Abe apologizes to Mihashi, but he keeps his eyes away from him.

“I-I-It’s okay.” Mihashi says, though his eyes seem to still be spinning in circles. “A-a-are you okay?”

Not really. “Yeah.”

“Okay!” Mihashi nods his head again, and continues. 80. 81. 82. 83. 84. 85.

“Hey, Ren.”

“Y-Yes?”

“You still haven’t called me by my name.”

Mihashi stops his weight lifting with a shudder. And then silence follows.

Abe shifts his weight onto his other leg, bringing his hand up to his hip. He waits, and waits, and waits. He watches Mihashi struggle, mumbling to himself, seeming like he’s wondering if he should say his name now or not. And if Mihashi is about to say his name, Mihashi surely looks like he’s having a difficult time with it.

Why? When it’s so easy for him to call Kanou by his name?

The catcher tsks loudly before sighing. “Never mind. You’re at 85 lifts. Keep going. Slowly, alright?”

“O-okay…” Mihashi continues lifting. 86. 87. 88. And his mouth keeps flapping open as if to say “Ta”.

Abe tries to keep his excitement to himself. When Mihashi finishes 100 lifts, he doesn’t bring up the name topic again.

***

“Takaya,” rings in his ears, sweeter than any candy that’s ever melted in his mouth.

They’re at dinner now, and they’re seated next to each other. The chatter of the rest of the team fills the room, yet he heard it so clearly, as if Mihashi said it directly into his ear.

Mihashi had said, “Ta-Ta-Takaya, can you-- passmethesoysauce?” The latter of which softened to a mumble Abe couldn’t even hear.

All that registered in Abe’s mind was “Takaya”, and how clear he said it, even though it was after Mihashi stuttered. He’d never thought he could be so moved by someone saying his name.

“Say it again.” He requests, not realizing it’s quite an awkward thing to ask.

“S-Say? Ag--again. Uhm, uh,” Mihashi fumbles with his chopsticks. A bad habit, but Abe adores it nevertheless. “Ta-Takaya, can you pass me-- pass me the soy sauce?” Mihashi wheezes from the sheer effort of saying that without blushing too hard. “P-p-please?”

Abe grins wide, and passes him the soy sauce as requested. “Here you go. Ren.”

Mihashi takes the bottle from him, their fingers brushing a tad bit, and at that moment they both shiver, having felt an electric current run through their veins at the small contact. They both turn their heads away, and don’t look at each other for the rest of dinner, eating their meals silently as the room gets louder. Tajima joking around with Mizutani.

Takaya looks so happy. thinks Sakaeguchi, who sits across them and saw the whole thing happen. He eats his meal watching them, happy his teammates are taking forward steps, no matter how small.

******

1.

On the New Year of his first year in high school, Mihashi and his family drove to Gunma. It was a long drive, granted many other people were on their way home to their respective provinces, too. Mihashi had planned to be asleep for most of the time they were stuck in traffic, but he was greatly distracted by his phone, and the person on the other line, sending him replies quickly after he himself has responded.

His heart beats quickly with every vibration of his phone, a notification of yet another new message. Strange how he used to feel this quick heartbeat out of fear before, but now it is all good.

Sweet. Fuzzy. Ties his stomach in nice-feeling knots.

Very good.

He flips his phone open, clicking the right buttons to open the new mail that came in from “Abe Takaya”. He reads, not expecting his heart to sink.

/Sorry, Ren. Mom’s nagging me to help out. I’ll be back soon, I think. Let me know when you get to your relatives’. Ttyl./

Mihashi blinks at his phone, wondering if he should reply. He said talk to you later, which means… they’ll start the back and forth of messages again later. Later. Not now. If Mihashi sends a message now, will that mean Abe will assume he’s already at Gunma? If so, he shouldn’t send a text. But-- But Mihashi wants to reply. Mihashi wants Abe to know he’s read the message and he understands. Say “Okay. I got it. Talk to you later.”

He types that message in, and then his thumb hovers over the Send button as he mulls over it again. Should he send it? Not send it? He’s already typed the message, so he should send it. But what if he’s bothering Abe. No. No. He never bothers Abe. He knows Abe always has the best intentions for him--baseball or not. He knows Abe will understand his intention behind his reply, that he simply wants to clear up that he understood the message. But then again, Abe probably can’t read his reply because his hands are full.

But--

But--

So many buts. Mihashi still feels anxious. He wants to reply. He needs to reply. He still wants to talk to Abe. More and more and more and more and more.

The phone vibrates again.

/Ren. Just in case you’re freaking out, Which I hope you’re not, but just in case. It’s fine if you just reply later. I’ll leave my phone for a while, so I can’t check it anyway. I’ll text you when I’m back. But whether I’m back or not, text me when you’re at Gunma. Take care. Talk to you later./

Mihashi slams himself, face-first onto the free backseat space to his left, surprising both his parents who sit in front.

“Ren? Are you okay?” Mihashi’s mother asks him, concerned. She looks over her shoulder, as she’s seated in the passenger seat. She had driven in the first half of their trip, so now his father is driving. “What’s gotten into you? Are you feeling dizzy?”

“I--I’m okay…” Mihashi replies weakly, almost out of breath. He’s glad he dug his face into the seat, otherwise his mother would see how red his face is (granted he can feel how his cheeks are so warm), and would bombard him with questions.

“Are you sure? Do you need water? There’re a few bottles in the cooler at the back. Should we stop to get them out of the--”

“It’s okay, mom. I just-- I think I’ll go sleep.”

“Alright.”

“Sleep well, Ren.” His father says with laughter strewn into his voice. “We still have around an hour and a half to go.”

Mihashi nods, though his father doesn’t see. He keeps his face buried against the seat, still feeling his cheeks are warm. His chest feels so full. He feels like he’s going to explode from how happy he is. Abe really does know him, and Abe really does understand him so well now. He’s so happy.

He’s so happy. He’s so happy. He’s so happy he can’t quite explain it well.

Months later, when the two of them talk over these feelings that have continuously grew within them, Mihashi will understand. But for now, for now, he hums to the tunes on the radio. New love songs he’s never heard of before, but the rhythm jives with the movement of his heart so he hums.

He hums until he does fall asleep, waking up to a few texts from Abe that make him feel the full warmth in his chest all over again.

******

Bonus:

Kanou and Ruri, who sit on either side of Mihashi over dinner, exchange glances as they see Mihashi pick up his phone and happily type for at least the twentieth time since the first plate of food had been placed on the table.

‘Girlfriend?’ Kanou mouths to Ruri with an eyebrow raised in question.

Ruri overly shrugs her shoulders and winces. An exaggerated ‘I don’t know’. She’s not allowing her favorite cousin to have a girl in his life to have priority over her. Not just yet.

“Ren-ren,” she calls to him. For the fifth time since dessert has been served. No response.

Kanou snickers at her failed attempt, making Ruri huff.

“Ren-ren,” she attempts again, this time bumping her shoulder on his. This makes Mihashi look up, surprised, looking left then right and both ways again before quickly typing on his phone then putting it away.

“Y-yes, Ruri?”

She pouts at him. “Who is it that you’re texting?”

“EH!?” Mihashi almost shouts, but manages to keep his volume down low. “W-wa-w-wa-was-was it obvious?”

Kanou laughs a little louder this time, but not enough to go over the chatter of the adults. He wiggles his eyebrows when Mihashi looks over at him. “Was it obvious that you were texting someone special? Pretty much.”

“Spe!!!!!!!!!” Mihashi straightens his back, sitting up right now, looking alert. “Spe--special?? N--no. A-are they? It w-was just--”

“Just?” Ruri and Kanou say together, leaning forward to gaze at Mihashi from the front.

He looks away, shying from their gaze, with added attempt to raise his arms and hide his face. “Ta-Takaya… kun.”

A moment of silence passes the two of them. A moment to ponder “Who in the world is that?”

“A classmate?” Kanou asks.

Mihashi shakes his head violently as if to defend himself. “N-no! He’s the-- the catcher.”

“Ooh, so Nishiura’s catcher’s name is Takaya-kun.” Ruri nods her head. She’s smiling now, relieved she’s still her cousin’s #1 girl. “Wow, Ren-ren. I didn’t know your team’s already on first-name basis. Must be nice.”

“Yeah, you got us beat.” Kanou leans onto Mihashi, putting an arm over his shoulder. “We’ve already been together for more than three years, yet we all still call each other by surnames.”

“B-but you’re Shuu-chan.”

Kanou chuckles, happy to hear him call him that again. “Yeah, but remember? You were calling me ‘Kanou-kun’ for a while, Ren.”

“O-oh! R-right.” Mihashi nods his head. “I’m sorry…” “Oh, come on. You’ve got no reason to be.” Kanou pats his back twice. His attention gets stolen by his mother for a while, telling him they should be going home soon. “Hey, Ren. Can you walk me out?”

“S-sure!” Mihashi stands up with him and starts heading out of the dining room.

“What about me?” Ruri whines, trying to stand up, too.

Kanou looks over his shoulder, letting Mihashi pass first. “You stay, there, we got baseball stuff to talk about.”

“I play softball, you know!”

They make their way out of the dining room and into the hall where it’s more silent.

“Sh-Shuu-chan,” Mihashi starts the conversation first as they make their way to the front door. “Th-thank you for coming.”

“Of course. Not like my mom’s gonna go without dragging me along with her.” Kanou laughs, making Mihashi laugh softly, too. They stop at the entrance, giving time for Kanou to change from house slippers to his sneakers. “It’s really nice seeing you, Ren. You...” He stops, trying to find the words to say, trying to soften them enough so he himself won’t cry. It had been months since it last bothered him, but it really hurts to see Mihashi, his once best friend, move on with another team. But it’s the best for Mihashi, so he gathers up energy for a huge, wide smile and looks up at him. “You seem much happier now.”

Mihashi smiles back at him, wide, toothy, just like he used to. Before Mihoshi. No, even better and much happier than then. “I--I am happy.”

Kanou grits his teeth. The tears still threaten to push through his eyes, but no longer out of bitterness. He’s so, so happy for his dear friend. So happy. He stands up, finished tying his shoelaces. He slams his hand onto Mihashi’s shoulder. “Let’s both do our best, okay!? We gotta see each other at Koushien.”

Mihashi nods his head, that bright smile never leaving his lips. “Yeah!”

“But before then, see you at Golden Week camp!”

******

Bonus 2: (One extra surprise!)

The Nishiura boys are out swimming at the school’s pool for added training, the lifeguard listening to sports updates on the radio. Hanai wasn’t particularly listening in, but when the crowd suddenly cheered so loud from the radio, he had to stop midlength of the pool to hear what was happening.

“An incredible save from Karasuno’s Ennoshita! Did you see that? Running far out of bounds and returning it for their setter to reach, and then that glorious save by the new ace, Tanaka. Got to hand it to that Ennoshita. He’s really holding his ground as the team’s new captain.” says the commentator.

Hanai waves his arms in the pool to keep himself afloat in the water. It’s not just him, or fellow baseball captains out there that are trying to support their team with all their might. Even captains of other sports do, too. Doing splendid plays like that, to boost the team’s morale. It’s amazing how the word ‘captain’ can unify different sports together.

Hanai nods his head with renewed fervor. He’s going to help his team keep their spirits up this upcoming tournament, too.

******

End Notes: I hope you don’t mind (and that it isn’t too cheesy) that I added an Ennoshita mention. While stalking your tumblr, I realized how much you love him. So I thought it would be a treat to sneak him in.

Thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoyed all of these. :)  Merry Christmas! ^^

[miyukitsubaki]

Why is Miyuki Kazuya so great💜 Masterpost~

*For starters, we can safely say that he is one of the best captains in sports anime history. Don’t we all agree on that?

-Recorded one of the most (if not the best) profound and thorough character development of the series. He was a snarky, full of himself and arrogant little first year when we firstly laid eyes upon him (bless that particular face btw) and gradually evolved by being in contact with his old and new teammates, building himself, nurturing his own knowledge and vision while he stood firmly by his pitchers' side, assissting and helping them as well in their own development.

-An adorable, dorky, awesome, self-sacrificing, twisted, sarcastic, a little bit egoist and immensely kind genius that doesn't let other people's judgments and mean glares rule his life, follows his path with his head held high, without losing sight of his objectives and sends flying all of his troubles with a smile and a swing of his bat.

- One hell of a hard worker, I'm sure he was training just as hard as his pitchers and from everybody’s eyes, maybe even harder than them, but doesn’t like to show it openly. Always prompt to irony, faithful adept of the “Me? Using sarcasm as a defence mechanism? Naaah”, gay for Kuramochi but everyone knows it, soft spot for his pitchers, able to show adaptation in every situations, hardly feels fear and is always daring, his playstyle being described as very agressive.

-Had no choice but to grow up on the spot, following their fated defeat against Inashiro. Accepted the pain and the regret in the short span of one night (in which he probably didn't sleep much) and used his bitter frustration into a plateforme from which he propelled himself and took the reins of this team in his own hands.

-A lot of meaningful character development for him at the beginning of season two, among the chaotic confusion that was the reorganization of the team, with a lot of characters who themselves evolved. Let's not forget that he genuinely lost his confidence a couple of times, especially when he got into this argument with Zono about Nabe. He literally painfully learnt from his errors in the spot and, regretting some of his words, apologized to Nabe from the field.Which was absolutely cute as Nabe knew how much it meant for Miyuki.

- A lonely child, who probably lost his mother and had to educate himself almost on his own. Getting his ability of learning quick from that, always had to fend for himelf as well as to tend to his wounds... I mean, go and try to find a bravest kid than him, he is also so relatable and an example for all the children who had to get through this kind of hard moment in their lives. And despite of all this shit, his huge grin wasn’t budging from his face, even if he was feeling down inside he didn’t show it on his angel face, stood up and move forward, purely motivated by the love of the sport (”I don’t care about everything if baseball is fun!” episode 46). Fate awarded him by making him meet wonderful teammates an rivals.

- Found the best bro he could have hoped to have in the person of Kuramochi Yoichi (They’re soulmates, fight me rn). They just fit perfectly together and won’t have it any other way. (If those two don’t go in the same university or pro team, I’m gonna lose it). Kuramochi’s the one for him.

-Had the courage to go out of his comfort zone and talk about his captain insecurities (which is something he wouldn’t have considered to do in middle school) to one of his mentors, nonetheless being a very proud person who hates showing his weaknesses. And offered us one of his most pure and emotional face.

- Did an immense effort on himself by hiding his pulled muscle from everyone, and showed again his incredible iron will.

As Mochi so perfecty said it, it was a mix of ego as talented and key-player and sense of responsibility as the captain, but also the catcher of his team since his first year. I had so many feels it hurts during the couple last episodes (and so did all of you don’t lie;)) but it really pulled some sensible strings in my heart because this boy...*sighs from fondness* ...is just a plain closet tsundere as he finally lets us hear the voice of his heart in episode 50 of the second season. When he laughs that very specific voice, and that everyone just looks at him and he thinks: “ I don’t want to give up such a fun position to anyone! I’m not suited to be a captain, am I?”. Knowing perfectly that he won’t be giving up this position either. Everything about this scene was perfect; from the movement of his bangs under his helmet, his arms widely expanded to his teammates as he was welcoming them for the first time, face stuck between exhaustion, pain, euphory and pleasure of playing here and his favorite position.

-I think there is not a single trait of his personality that id don’t absolutely love, because he is a perfect representation of what’s good and fragile in the human nature and can be considered as the archetype of what human beings can draw from their hardest time, as long as they don’t give up and keep on rising  themselves up, struggle, struggle, and struggle again to get their hands on what they deeply want. Be strong physically and mentally. This golden boy is the definition of harduous determination, the embodiment of honed and overflowing talent and wits, the perfect marriage between a genius and a hardworker (reminds me of Shin Seijuro from Eyeshield 21 in that respect), but who possesses a underlying fragility and a strong sense of responsibility growing each day. Special mention in the final scene (which made my fangirl kokoro go aazertyuisdiojezfyuysqhi) when Kura and Zono got him to the taxi on the way to the hospital, the pain got his tongue loose and he let out his most buried anxiety, his fear of not being able to fit the position of captain, the I’m not good to be a captain having a completely different tone from the euphoric one he had used at the end of the 50th episode. Exhaustingly proposing his position to his vice-captains, telling them to taste what it’s like (”It’s haaaaard”).

-Never takes for granted what surrounds him, as he is used to fight for what he wants and probably still thinks the number he is proudly bearing is not fully his own, constantly having the image of Chris in head. Having a goal on an individual level is what motivates him the most I think. “I have a feeling I will never win against this person”.

-Another special mention at the end of the first season, when they played against the retired upperclassmen.

He told Furuya to stop thinkng about his pace or rhythm and to give it his full power. Surely, at this moment he also had an epiphany as he realized that the only way for them to cut through their problems of coordination and lack of power was to do like always; train hard again from the start and everything woud click in place. Their trainings didn’t betrayed them, and the upperclassmen showed them that amazingly. “Let’s shut down the senpais by force!”: his carefree tone of the moment was in perfect contrast with the seriousness his words dripped of afterwards: “If we win the fall tournament, we’re secured to go to Koushien.” And he was one hundred percent aware of the weight and meaning of his words. And they managed to did it.

There is to much things to develop and say and fangirl about this perfect guy but I thin that I got pretty well resumed here! My gift on this special day in our hearts, and have a nice evening! 💜 Happy birthday Kazuya~

[sportsanimebreakdown]

Breakdown: Ookiku Furikabutte (Big Windup or Oofuri)

SPOILER FREE

Big Windup: High school baseball anime (studio is A-1 Pictures) and manga (Asa Higuchi), ongoing.

Production: Solid. Production IG and Madhouse still dominate in terms of quality, but A-1 is sure as hell head and shoulders above the clusterfuck team that did Eyeshield (which was a combo of TV Tokyo, NAS, and Gallop).

Tropes: Low Self-Esteem Hero, Fudanshi Bait, “I Will Make You A Hero”, Slice Of Life

Not-Your-Wikipedia-Summary: Ren Mihashi is a total wuss because his middle school baseball team utterly destroyed his self confidence. They always lost because the catcher never knew how to use Mihashi’s insane ball control to their advantage. Now Mihashi is in high school and a nervous wreck and joins the baseball team. The catcher, Takaya Abe, (voiced by the extremely talented and easy-to-pick-out Yuichi Nakamura), sees Mihashi’s potential and decides he’s going to make Mihashi into the best damn ace that’ll take them all to Koushien. Cue slow-paced, feel-good, team-coming-together-against-the-odds 

TL;DR Review: It’s cute. It’s low stress. If you want to watch the friendship between boys be pushed and pulled and strained and celebrated all in the frame of high school baseball, and if you want that satisfaction that comes from a low-self-esteem hero showing everyone up, it’s a fun trip. Yes, all the character blush too much and the queer baiting between several characters is so obvious it borders on fetishization. But it’s not a bad thing to have different kinds of boys represented: scared boys, crying boys, boys who aren’t sure of themselves but are teaming up to try their best. We need to show that no matter what kind of person you are, you’re still a valuable part of the team. 

"Objective” Score: 6/10 (for those who like/need a slow pace and can overlook the problematic coach [more below])

Personal Score: 4/10 (too queer baity [make it gay or don’t, just stop with the fucking baiting], too slow, too problematic with the coach character)

Full Thoughts: So it’s been awhile since I watched this series. After watching One Outs I thought I’d go watch its exact opposite while still in the baseball genre. I have to say, it didn’t really age on me well. I think it’s a good series for 13-15 year-olds. It has all that blushing queer baiting that, if you’re in the closet or still figuring yourself out, might be tantalizingly close to validation. Also, like I said above, it’s great to see boys who aren’t chock full of toxic masculinity. You can be a scaredy cat and still be a good athlete. It has enough humor and embarrassed-youth moments to make it relatable/more dramatic for younger viewers or those who are still capable of being embarrassed. For those of us who are older/cynical/naturally-prone-to-being-an-asshole, watching it is more irritating than anything else. 

But let’s talk about something else...

Author Insertion Characters: Now, let me make it clear at the outset that this is NOT limited to female authors/creators. Pretty much every series has The Inserted Author, and more often than not it’s the protagonist. This is especially apparent where there are multiple female characters all in love with one boring ass dude. But what about when the Inserted Author isn’t the protagonist? What about when they’re a side character who is vicariously enjoying some exploitative scene? Usually, with male authors, we get side male characters who “happen to” see panty shots, etc. They’re so common to any series that they hardly need mentioning. I admit, I don’t even mention it, I’m so used to it; I just roll my eyes and watch on. But in the case of Oofuri, we get the team’s coach, Momoe. As soon as I saw her, I knew the series had been written/drawn by a woman, in good ways and bad. She’s got big boobs, has a strong personality, and the team is intimidated by her insane baseball skills and general strength. If she’d been written by a man, the team would’ve been drooling over her big breasts and there would have been a nonstop “comedic” tension over how sexy she was. But she’s not sexualized in any way. For that, I'm super grateful. (The bar is low for my gratitude, I admit.)

But there’s a couple of things about her that threw major red flags for me: one, that it’s made clear that she pours all of her money into this boy’s baseball team. Now, she’s a woman with insane baseball skills and a clear passion for the game. So why the fuck didn’t she start a GIRL’S softball team? They don’t even cover it, as if it’s not even a real question. And why is she pouring all of her everything into serving these young boy’s needs? Talk about gender role stereotypes. Why isn’t the school providing funds for all this equipment? Or if not, why aren’t they finding a way, as a TEAM, to raise funds for it? Why is she, the only woman on it, pouring all of her money into it? That’s one red flag. The other red flag basically answers all of those questions and can be seen below:

I’m sorry, is that woman orgasming over team bonding between adolescent boys?  If you don’t have a problem with the above screenshot, if your brain is saying some shit like “but no, it’s pure! Because she’s a woman! And they’re boys!” then I want you to do a mental experiment: imagine that screenshot above with the genders switched. So an older man is clutching himself, blushing and sweating like that, saying “this is so good” behind the backs of a bunch of oblivious 14/15-yo girls. Is your mental reaction a little different? Good. Now readjust your previous opinion. This answers the question of why she’s coaching a boy’s team. Because the author wanted to vicariously jill off on the emotional bonding between young boys, all under the excuse of the Female Purity Myth. What am I talking about? It’s the pervasive idea that women can’t be sexual/perverted. That womanhood somehow makes women “naturally” pure. This is damaging to men and women: To women because we’re shamed when we ARE sexual beings (which is a one sentence understatement of a very complicated issue), and to men/boys who are sexually abused by women but feel that they can’t come forward about it.

So. I’m conflicted. I like her character because SHE isn’t sexualized... but I’m angered by how the series validates the fetishization of queer relationships between boys by older women. I’d rather watch a series that has no female characters than a series that has one who is this problematic. I’ll be passing on re-watching any more of this.