#let's go to hell together

[franzias-cave]

9&25 :)

I already answered 9, so here’s 25

25. Would you change the ending of Twilight?

You know, I've come around to it mostly thanks to @therealvinelle and @thecarnivorousmuffinmeta interpreting it as a pit of endless despair that will probably lead to the apocalypse. I don't mind Renesmee at all. She's a smorgasbord of untapped horror potential. Who's going to write the fic about her caudal tentacles growing in when she reaches 300? Must it be me?

That said, I would take out Jacob imprinting on Renesmee. I'd actually remove Jacob from Breaking Dawn -- his arc could have ended at the wedding. His canon ending is unspeakably depressing, and it would be nice if he was able to move on and eventually re-embrace humanity. That would also provide a narratively satisfying counterweight to Bella's decision to become a vampire and reject her humanity.

If Jacob is involved with the pregnancy and doesn't imprint on Renesmee, he likely ends up killing her and then being taken out by Rosalie, which is the bad ending. If he decides not to do an infanticide, then the Cullens still might get wiped out by Sam's pack who would in turn incur massive casualties. Bad endings all around.

Best to just let Jacob grieve in peace and not get mindwiped by baby cthulhu.

[youuuimeanmee]

My therapist: Don't worry, I Love Yoo is not real, it can't hurt you.

ILY 151 fastpass:

[sakuusas]

cattsun

let’s do some dude bro stuff, my homodaichi, no homo tho

[rean--schwarzer]

Hiii, When you get this reply with ten things that make you happy and then send this to your 10 of your favorite blogs

OK MISSHY IF YOU SAY SO…….

rean schwarzer x10

Rean Schwarzer (u should know this)

KISEKIS all of dem kisekis no bad kiseki here

kurorins/yushirins b/c they are my otp

jrpgs no explanation needed

food i love food.........especially bacon just give me all the bacon man

REAN’S SMILE HIS LAUGH HIS EVERYTHING AAAUUUUUUUUUURGH REAN YOU’RE SO PERF IT HURTS

my frunds you are all very wonderful and i enjoy pestering your dash with my shitposts

desserts I LOVE DESSERTS ESPECIALLY CINNAMON ROLLS LEL

having some peace and quiet for kiseki :

aaaaaand you misshy thank u frund c:

[flannelizard]

IF ANYONE WANTS TO JOIN ME ON THE WAGON TRAIN TO HELL

HERE’S THE LINK TO MY FIC OF FEM!SPOCK BEING EATEN OUT

[toomoonfic]

emiliricart the appeal of Mathieu/Messi for me is not only in the similar personalities, but the thought of Leo suddenly finding opposing defenders a lot more well behaved than usual, only to turn around to find Mathieu (sweet, docile Mathieu, who nudges him his muffin at dinner with a shy smile and listens to Leo ramble on about FIFA in a language he barely speaks) leveling them with such a death glare that Leo’s getting shivers and it’s not even directed at him. As he watches, it morphs into a familiar sweet smile as Mathieu explains: “They could have hurt you, kicking like that.” Which is the most Leo has heard him speak all week. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Also there’d be this whole dynamic of Leo being the talkative one for once and it’d be really cute.

[colinarthurgeoffrey]

i'm so loving this sudden increase of colifer shippers tho

ah yes, welcome to the dark side my children

we have cheeseburgers and tea and a one-way ticket to hell

join us

[her-skin-is-cocaine]

My name is Cocaine
(anon) My name is Cocaine - call me Coke for short.
I entered this country without a passport.
Ever since then I’ve made lots of scum rich.
Some have been murdered and found in a ditch.
I’m more valued than diamonds, more treasured than gold. 
Use me just once and you too will be sold.
I’ll make a schoolboy forget his books.
I’ll make a beauty queen forget her looks.
I’ll take renowned speaker and make a bore.
I’ll take a mother and make her a whore.
I’ll make a schoolteacher forget how to teach. 
I’ll make a preacher not want to preach.
I’ll take all your rent money and you’ll get evicted. 
I’ll murder your babies or they’ll be born addicted.
I’ll make you rob and steal and kill.
When you’re under my power you have no will.
Remember my friend my name is ” Big C “.
If you try me just one time you may never be free. 
I’ve destroyed actors, politicians and many a hero. 
I’ve decreased bank accounts from millions to zero. 
I make shooting and stabbing a common affair. 
Once I take charge you won’t have a prayer.
Now that you know me what will you do ?
You’ll have to decide, It’s all up to you.
The day you agree to sit in my saddle.
The decision is one that no one can straddle. 
Listen to me, and please listen well.
When you ride with cocaine you are headed for hell !!!

[franzias-cave]

🧂1 & 11 😜

from this delicious salty ask list

Since this ask is from a venerable Twilight Renaissance blogger/tastemaker/maverick, I’ll keep things Twilight related (but I will happily do naruto stuff too.)

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

I’m a fan of the ship and let ship approach. If it the ship does it for you, great, good, have fun. I’ll read just about anything as long as it’s well written. That being said, there are a few ships that I personally* can’t get behind. 

Jacob/Renesmee: No. Just. No. Absolutely not. It’s weird, gross, and tragic and not in a fun way. I don’t even think I need to explain this. I genuinely cannot think of a way to make this ship work.

Leah/Any vampire: I’ve seen a few ships that pair Leah up with a vampire, and I just don’t see it. Beyond the physical repulsion, vampires ruined Leah’s life. They tore her fiancé away from her and brainwashed him. They caused her father’s deeply traumatic death that was then followed by months of living in a close approximation of hell. Her life went to shit because of vampires, and that doesn’t seem like something Leah could easily get over.

She also expresses that she wants to stop shifting ASAP, which would never happen if she got romantically entangled with a vampire. I particularly can’t see her happily dating a vampire who ate people. I can sort of see a Leah/people-eating vampire ship happening, but only if Leah passes some kind of moral even horizon. It would not be a cheerful scenario, and one of my true OTPs is Leah/happiness.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

The renaissance really rehabilitated unpopular characters like Jessica and Maria, which rocks. Lots of great content being made about them. But, despite being a fandom based on a book about Bella Swan, most people don't seem to like her very much.

As in any fandom, there are the haters who think she’s a terrible character. Very understandable, she’s a mentally ill 17 year old girl who isn’t very likeable. Then you have the “Bella is boring and I wish the book wasn’t about her” camp, who are also doing great. Lots of good content coming out of that neck of the woods.

Then there are people who claim to like Bella, but only like the unrecognisable fanon version they've created in their heads. I’ve encountered this problem often in fandom, where people will take a (usually female) character they think has been done dirty by the author due to misogyny and completely change them. There's nothing wrong with fanon drift, but it gets a little stale when that's the only content you see.**

I like shitty selfish probably neurodivergent canon Bella. She kind of sucks, and that's why she's a blorbo of mine.  

*This is a personal opinion. I am just some guy. If you like the ship I’m happy for you. Go forth and do your funky thing. 

** I realise this may sound rich coming from someone who did a canon rewrite with an alternate Bella but rules do not apply to me that was for a specific au. and also rules do not apply to me.