#let’s start gatekeeping fantasy actually

[atopvisenyashill]

do u know what did piss me off was everyone going “that bound by blood thing doesn’t make sense her and rhaenyra don’t share blood” as if alicent isn’t the mother of rhaenyra’s half siblings. “well why isn’t aegon-“ HES A PAWN. HES A PROXY FOR ALICENT’S POWER. SHE SPENT HIS WHOLE LIFE BEATING AND SCREAMING AT HIM JUST LIKE SHE WAS HIT AND SCREAMED AT TO MAKE HIM INTO A KING THAT WOULD KEEP HER SAFE FROM RHAENYRA IT WAS NEVER ABOUT AEGON!!!!

like the short story is called the princess and the queen WHOMST do u think is the queen in this scenario. could it be the woman who has been called queen for the ENTIRE FUCKING PRE DANCE, DANCE, A N D POST DANCE ERA, MAYHAPS???

[beardedmrbean]

Oh I mean when I say do leftists see history as a Disney cartoon because how they talk about people

“Indigenous people wouldn’t do that to their native lands!” Well that because most tribes learn from the mistakes of their ancestors, like modern American farming-

Holy shit Dave is right that they never left their metropolis area

But there this complaints how geeks spaces don’t want black people in it

Black activists: Why don’t white people want us in it?!

Me: Every since we somehow switch from racial equality to black supremacy

Hmm what we done in media? Oh yeah let start in black Panther where

1. They made a oversized shantytown with different African cultures, many of which hate each other guts

2. Expect to believe that everyone with sympathies with the main antagonist, now the movie did point out Killmonger was a hypocrite because he took a mask that didn’t belong to wakandans because he felt like it. And did the exact things he bitch about white colonizers to Wakanda

Though the irony is that Killmonger represents a lot of bitter black supremacists with a pan Africa fetish

Oh oh fantasy, my Indian friend pointed out that the issued with modern fantasy is that they are using a post mayflower American structure vs any form of feudalism

Because my chimera republic made realize it more easier to create black fantasy characters in a colonial and beyond world like ones based off George Carver or Bass Revees

Also like that black elf in rings of power and black Aragon, the problem to me that they look like larpers especially the black elf

Pssst modern Hollywood hairstylists, the fade was a post ww2 thing black men started after vets return from duty, so it automatically stick out for most black people

Also if you want to use Middle Ages hairstyles for black characters. Just go to the tribes that exist as many hairstyles we use today are thousands of years old and if you stretch it to the 13 century you have enough resources for reference

Actually someone pointed out that lot of fantasy places have LA demographic structure, this got me thinking and I’m paraphrasing

Who more bigoted?

My countryhick West Virginia friend who gave me a lot of insight on American history including my people and you who help me try to research west African cultures like the Yoruba?

Or the colored hair, glasses, usually upper middle class feminists that rarely interact with non whites unless they’re genetrifed and lived in gated communities?

Keep in mind a lot of them write or influence current fantasy stuff

Oh I mean when I say do leftists see history as a Disney cartoon because how they talk about people “Indigenous people wouldn’t do that to their native lands!” Well that because most tribes learn from the mistakes of their ancestors, like modern American farming- Holy shit Dave is right that they never left their metropolis area

Not all of them, but for the most part ya, it's respect for the land created after generations of learning that it's important to respect the land, with a additional healthy sized dose of religion and remembering to thank the land and everything else that provides for their needs.

"Noble Savage" is the term you're looking for there, "soft bigotry of lowered expectations" is another one you'll see a lot and not just for natives.

Low hanging fruit in Berkeley talking about why voter ID laws are bad and racist because black people may not know how to get one, or be able to afford one, or even get to the dmv.

Forever funny

But there this complaints how geeks spaces don’t want black people in it

Geek spaces are welcoming and inclusive, they just want you to geek out with them and not start trying to force changes, I honestly don't blame some people for gatekeeping their hobbies. People are coming in and demanding changes to fit their sensibilities and what not and when they're done the 'space' completely different.

That and all the other stuff you mentioned as well.

The question to ask is, why are you in this particular fan space if you are going to change 80% of it, can you maybe just make your own instead?

Oh oh fantasy, my Indian friend pointed out that the issued with modern fantasy is that they are using a post mayflower American structure vs any form of feudalism Because my chimera republic made realize it more easier to create black fantasy characters in a colonial and beyond world like ones based off George Carver or Bass Revees

Look up the show Firefly, if you don't already know about it. There's two really good SciFi western tv shows and neither of them are Westworld, the one besides Firefly is The Adventures of Briscoe County Jr. and it's there in my list because it stars Bruce Campbell.

Which actually you might give that one a look too,

Keep forgetting how much of a giant Julius Carry was, it's got a lot of steampunk elements and it's funny as heck.

Mentioning Bass Reeves made me think of that.

Also like that black elf in rings of power and black Aragon, the problem to me that they look like larpers especially the black elf ECT

Never saw the show, but everything I did see told me they had zero respect for the source material so I didn't expect respect for anything else to appear.

Hair thing we have current year references that since as you said, they haven't really changed them up much in the last few thousand years.

Who more bigoted? My countryhick West Virginia friend who gave me a lot of insight on American history including my people and you who help me try to research west African cultures like the Yoruba? Or the colored hair, glasses, usually upper middle class feminists that rarely interact with non whites unless they’re genetrifed and lived in gated communities?

I'm sure you already know the answer. As a generalization at least.

The joke about internet racists being a tolerant group of people, 'they don't care what race you are so long as you're racist' actually pans out to be fairly true a lot of the time.

Granted a lot of them aren't actually terribly racist, they just like to be able to rip on each other and like doing it Eric Cartman style, le edgy people.

The "Anti-racists" are the ones to watch out for, that's the people from berkeley in that video up there.

It's performative for them, look at how tolerant and accepting I am.

Like this.

I know it's what you want there my whatever you are, but there's a multitude of reasons why this

won't be happening, but I'm sure you've managed to take great strides in the effort to eradicate racism and didn't just totally become a joke for millions of people of all colours.

Except maybe this creature

I love how that's become a insult to people for some reason, she just called him a individual thinker and is mad because he doesn't support the hive mind.

Granted any positive accomplishment in the black community is greeted with several different cheers about how they all share in that accomplishment, but when bad shit happens all of a sudden we're not a monolith.

That's human psychology tho so not much more to expect from that honestly.

Multimillionaire tv host saying she's oppressed and that black people can't make it in the US will forever be funny to me, also sad because that sentiment is holding people back by saying things like that, since it's discouraging, why should I try if I've got no chance to make it anyhow.

May as well just get mine any way I can or maybe lay down and give up.

[obsessive-evie]

guys we’re all just a bunch of nerds on here so let’s reveal our significantly more embarrassing obsession…

personally i have a list:

i’ve seen every season of glee probably 7 times over

i am a chronic reader, i genuinely can read a book a day, and spend more money on kindle than anything else. i love fantasy and unhealthy amount. like yes baby tell me about your mystical land and men with tails

i know WAYYYYYY too much the last of us lore. like i am so immersed in that shit i’m surprised i don’t have an actual tlou tumblr. i am also (no shock here) in love with ellie. seattle ellie can have anything she wants.

the wilds. that is all

i know quite literally every single one of taylor swifts songs. MAYBE a few from debut i don’t fully know but i am genuinely obsessed with her music i memorize her lyrics like my life depends on it. (same with gracie abrams. i wanted to gatekeep her so bad bc i saw her in a tiny venue years ago and started listening to her in 2019)

amy winehouse is my everything. i know every single one of her songs and her life and story resonate with me so much and my camera is named valerie and and and

[puckintheisles]

2: we're going to have to kill this guy, puck

Once the butterflies cleared away, the only option really was to follow the path. The landscape was very unfamiliar. completely alien. Puck was quite unsure about all this. The walk was fine up until he saw some weird man or creature in the distance. The thing noticed him, too, and even though he tried to look friendly it came at him with a fucking knife. Puck grabbed his own dagger and started swinging. getting into a knife fight with a frogman wasn't in his plans. Was this a person? Either way, Puck Summerdream has taken his first life.

hey, it's a statue of whatever that thing was. hopefully it's not like some kind of important cultural icon. As he followed the path it revealed a ramshackle town of sorts. They proceed with caution because honestly who knows what to expect.

These two have a chat about some gatekeeper about to fight off adventurers. He braves talking to the one, who claims he's the mayor and introduces himself as Shelden. They don't talk long and soon both of the others sprint uphill and Puck lets his curiosity win.

what the fuck. those people were slaughtered. what the fuck is that. Puck realizes this is far beyond any LARP at all. he's actually going to have to kill that thing. Well. He read enough fantasy books as a kid to know how this goes. They decide to walk back to town and find somewhere to hopefully catch a little sleep. maybe there's something edible around here, too, because he is not taking any chances with those mushroom trees.

the sky only proves more unfamiliar.

[softxsuki]

Hii can i request Obey me, Tokyo revengers and jujutsu kaisen romantic matchup? I liked your event so i decided to participate.

I'm female she/her pronouns, I'm fine with any gender.

My mbti is intj 5w4 548; my horoscope is Sun:leo Moon: libra, Rising: Capricorn, Medium Coeli:Scorpio, Mercury: leo, Venus: leo, Mars: gemini, Jupiter: Sagittarius, Saturn: leo, Uranus: Pisces, Neptune: Aquarius, Pluto: Sagittarius, Lunar Nodes: Pisces, Lilith: Scorpio, Chiron: Aquarius

I'm ambivert,I'm very laid back and prefer to go with the flow of life but sometimes come off as ego-centric and domineering. I have to admit I’m a lazy person who prefers having a leisure more than anything else. But once i find my motivation I'm actually pretty hardworking, I won't stop or take breaks until i completely finish what I started. I mostly spends my time as a stoic and a calm person and i might even come off as apathetic towards the world around me [even tho I’m not]. I’m usually perceived as being insensitive because i generally prefer to deal with emotions in my own head rather than openly [and somehow I'm still well liked?!] tbh I often think I’m above others, yet I am always willing to acknowledge that I’m a total piece of shit [very rarely tho] Sometimes i have fantasies and ideals that I want to start creating or becoming but i give myself a reality check and let the dream fade away. I’m very innovative but still choose the practical route a lot. It’s easy for me to create goals and envision the end results but it’s ridiculously hard for me to remain committed to the process. I have a very big ego but one word alone is enough to destroy it. i Will never admit my wrong, unless internally. I'm playful around people i like [friends, family, classmates] and if I believe I'm right I'll passive agressivly fight you to prove my point [even if I'm wrong]. Like i said i have hard time committing to something i loose interest, motivation and get bored rather easily. If I'm stressed about something i bottle everything up and worry about it alone. Not because I don't want to burden other or anything simply because my pride and ego is getting in my way. I'm not really a jealous person and even if i get jealous i keep it to myself and try my best to hide it. I care about what others think of me [more like what others think of my parents] so towards strangers and people that know my parents I'm very polite.

I like horror genre [movies, books, analogue horror and etc], watching movies, listening to true crime, reading books and listening to music. I love indie and alternative rock, gothic novels, Victorian and vampire goth aesthetic, grunge aesthetic. Researching and learning more about myself. I love reading greek mythology and Japanese urban legends, reading about horror/supernatural creatures such as vampires, sirens, wendigos and etc. I'm interested in psychology and prehistory [especially prehistoric religions even though I'm not really religious person myself]. I wouldn't really consider this as a hobby cause i do it once or twice a year but i also play volleyball and piano.

I value honesty and loyalty, I'm more attracted [romantically or platonically] to people who are confident in themselves and their abilities. I also value partner/friend that isn't overprotective and allows me my independence and let's me do things my way.

I don't think i have a specific type i just want my partner to keep me entertained as i tend to get bored rather easily.

Extra:

i love colour red, i sometimes even gatekeep it.

i want to get pet snake in the future

i might not have a best relationship with my parents but I value and respect them a lot.

i might act as a mean older sister most of the time with my siblings but I'm willing to get agressive if someone besides me or my parents upsets them.

i went to music school for 6 years, art school 2 years [with completely different teachers] and i went to dancing classes for 2 years, 1 month and 5 days [with four different teachers]

i speak three languages [English, Georgian and russian] and I'm planning to learn greek.

Scenario:

them reaction to their partner showing cute aggression.

Like when i find something cute or Adorable i want to pinch their cheeks & squeeze them to death lovingly and kiss and bite all over them.

1000 Follower Event Matchup #18

This event is CLOSED. You can see the masterlist here.

Note: Hey! Sorry for the delay on your matchup, life has been crazy. Hope you enjoy :)

I match you with RAN, ASMO, GETO

No runner ups, these are literally perfect for you :D

Ran:

(I don’t write for him so I don’t want to edit a pic so here’s a gif instead lo. Enjoy him and his brother 🫠l)

I’ll be honest, I struggled a little finding your perfect match but then Ran came to mind

I’ve seen him in only a few manga panels, but based off what I’ve seen I think he’s everything you’re asking for

He lets you do your own thing so long as it isn’t blatantly dangerous, then he’d have to step in and try to reason you out of doing it, but he loves the way you carry yourself

Others may misunderstand you and your intentions but Ran knows you like the back of his thumb

How does he react to your cute aggression?

He’s obsessed with it and kinda craves to see it

Honestly he finds any aggression from you very attractive and might go out of his way to bring it out of you 

Not in a bad way ofc, but he’ll wear something he knows you’re crazy about just to get a reaction out of you

Asmodeus:

I feel like his aesthetic is the complete opposite of yours, but opposites attract, right?

I think you’d both bond over being misunderstood

Everyone thinks he’s nothing more than a pretty boy who only cares about himself, but he too also cares deeply about his family and you and would do anything to make sure they're safe and happy

The other brothers are so overprotective, but Asmodeus is more carefree about things

Obviously he’d make sure you’re accompanied whenever you want to go out, because the Devildom can be dangerous for a human like you

But you can dress and act however you please with him–he encourages it all

How does he respond to your cute aggression?

Another one who is obsessed with it

He responds similarly when he finds something cute, so you both have that in common

Bite his cheek in excitement, he likes it lol

Geto:

(Again I don’t write for him so enjoy this gif)

I don’t know much about him, but he gives off “i don’t care” vibes along with lots of confidence so…I think it matches

As for your fantasies that you just brush off, yeah, Geto works to make those fantasies become reality for you

You’re his queen and probably the only person he’d take orders from, so literally whatever you want, he’d make it happen

You won’t have to work for anything with him around (unless of course, you’d want to. He won’t stop you)

Literally doesn’t care what you do, he’s backing you up all the way

He keeps things exciting for you so there’s never a dull moment with him

How does he react to your cute aggression?

He doesn’t get it really

What’s so cute about that thing?

But as long as you’re happy, he doesn’t mind it

Might like to see you react like that to him one day…even if it is only once, he wants to know what he feels like to be on the receiving end of your aggression

EVENT REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

REGULAR REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 5/25/2023

[sirobvious]

If I'm going to get really clear and serious about what I mean here, this isn't specifically the mcelroys' fault, it's just funny to blame them.

But for real, in general, people on tumblr do view media consumption as activism, which is already annoying and stupidly pervasive in TTRPG communities, but what I was specifically talking about here is how, like, tons of people view ignoring the rules of D&D5e while still nominally playing D&D5e as, like, sticking it to WotC and big corporations, and of course sticking it to those homophobic grognard gatekeepers

"sure i'll never touch another TTRPG system as long as I live, but i pirated all the D&D5e books(something we all agreed doesn't actually hurt corporations all that much), and I'm playing D&D5e in a way that WotC doesn't want by ignoring all the rules! Be gay do crimes!"

How about if you actually want to materially help someone through your alleged love of TTRPGs, buy and play any other TTRPG at all. Pay for the next meal of struggling TTRPG designers being crushed under D&D5e's absolute monopoly. Even the ones that are free, I'm sure that the designers would at least get some moments of motivation and happiness knowing you downloaded their work of art, learned the rules, and actually played it instead of letting it sit closed on the table while you fudge dice until the outcome that you want happens.

There are thousands of well-made games out there, starting with this one because I'm lead designer on it

The mcelroys made an entire generation think that playing D&D badly is activism

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Young Adult, Fantasy, Paranormal Romance

Rating: 2 out of 5

Trigger Warning:    

Summary:

The stakes have never been higher for the young Blue Bloods of Manhattan. After their brief yet beautiful bonding ceremony in Italy, Schuyler Van Alen and Jack Force depart for Egypt, desperate to find the elusive Gate of Promise before Jack must face his twin, Mimi, for a blood trial. A blood trial that only one of them can survive. But everything Schuyler thought she knew about the gate turns out to be a lie, and they soon find themselves ensnared in a deadly battle against the demon-born. Schuyler and Jack take up arms, only to realize that there is a much graver threat simmering in the Kingdom of the Dead. Meanwhile, determined to save the only vampire she still loves, Mimi has followed Kingsley Martin into Hell. With the help of her new human Conduit, Oliver Hazard-Perry, Mimi makes a bargain with the Queen of the Dead that she may soon regret. When the time comes to choose between love and revenge, both Mimi and Oliver will learn the true meaning of sacrifice. Confronted by danger, betrayal, and loss at every turn, the Blue Bloods must find the will to fight - and love - another day.

*Opinions*

Lost in Time is the last book in the series that I read back in 2012 and for some reason that is completely unknown to me, I gave it four stars. Now, I will admit that the parts in the underworld with Mimi and Oliver attempting to get to Kingsley Martin and bring him out were interesting, but that was kind of the only part. While I do think that de la Cruz wrote the emotions that Allegra was going through as she attempted to do what was right for the Coven and what was right for her heart, all the back and forth between her and Charles was rather annoying. Jack and Schuyler continue to be a waste of page space and Schyluer is literally useless in every situation she finds herself in. She is always a damsel in distress who talks a big game and can never back it up. I am going to be happy to finish this series. There really wasn’t a lot of progress in this novel besides the storyline with Mimi and Oliver. The sections with Allegra and Charles was all information that we had heard before and were hardly exciting. Schuyler and Jack had been looking for the same gate for three novels now and at the end of the day, the gatekeeper actually finds them. Deming is hardly part of this novel as more than a plot point. It is all just so…pointless. The sections with Mimi and Oliver were filled with emotion and a goal that they were constantly working towards. I wish that they would let Oliver move on from Schuyler, especially after the witch rid his blood of the venom from when she fed on him, but this is a YA novel after all. I like that he brings out Mimi’s humanity and ultimately it is her friendship with Oliver that leads to them all getting out of the underworld. Do I think the fight between her and Jack was pretty cool, yes? Do I think it was over too soon and it was a bit ridiculous how it all ended, also yes? Mimi is so worried about the Coven, but then both she and Jack leave so that they can “be with the ones they loved” as if Mimi hadn’t just forgotten her love moments ago because she sold her soul. As if Lucifer wouldn’t have a way to keep their loyalty. Don’t even get me started on the fact that a non-fallen angel was able to help out for whatever reason, but told no one who he was or why he was helping. However, we are in the end game now and I am sure more ridiculous things will happen before the novel is over. I didn’t finish this novel that long ago and I honestly can hardly remember anything about it. The thing that I find most frustrating about these books is that the ideas are very solid and could be extremely interesting, but the execution is just not there for me. Luckily, it is just one more set of short stories about the Hellhounds and Bliss and the final novel. I will not be reading the new series that, from the synopsis, seems to rehash the same story over and over again. No thank you.

[bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus]

Hiya guys!

So if you hadn't already checked on Ao3, I just wanted to let you all know that Absolutely Cursed is not dead-dead... it's just having a little rewrite which will happen very slowly because I'm busy and I have no skin on my forearm at the moment (she's only started to grow back).

But what I can do for you is tease a few plot changes that I'm planning to make:

A. The UK will still be on fire but it being on fire will turn out to be surprisingly relevant to the plot. W a r .

B. We have new characters! Terry Silver may or may not have a few daughters who are just as confused as you are. But, very much like their father, prefer to take matters into their own hands.

C. Terry will be living his 'Macbeth' fantasy... a.k.a consumed with crippling guilt as he realises he's made no progress in processing his trauma and well, that he actually has quite a few unresolved issues, which of course has led him to make some stupid decisions and many an accident (DANIEL).

D. Daniel figures out that emotional repression isn't a good idea, especially if you're afflicted with something that can make you extremely dangerous the moment you start feeling overwhelmed.

E. Kreese and Kim Da-Eun are very much aware of each other and very much aware that Terry has served his purpose. They're going to be gaslighting, gatekeeping and girlbossing together.

Okay, so a visual depiction of the plan for the plot so far is this:

[momo-ceros]

A little project I am considering working on if there are people interested. See this as a teaser.

Sukeban (スケバン/助番) refers to the leader of a girl gang.

>in which you are fed up and aspire to reclaim the male fantasy that the girl gang culture has been reduced to. that you somehow got tangled up in a time travel mess through accidentally stumbling upon a crybaby hero was certainly not something you had accounted for. but you weren’t the leader of tokyo’s largest girl gang for nothing.

>>fem! reader/various! tokyo revengers

>>cw; canon typical violence, crude language, misogyny, mentions of rape, abuse [note; all mentions of these negative things will also be negative. none of them will be glorified or fetishised; it is very much is about the struggles of girl- and womanhood], an outlet for an author’s frustrations towards the patriarchal society and the undermined problems that arise from girl- and womanhood

“If looking good was a crime, you’d be a law abiding citizen.”

“My life isn't as glamourous as my wanted poster makes it look.”

“The ‘how the fucks’ and 'why are you so dumbs’ don’t matter. All that matters is that I have a new gun.”

“Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.”

“I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.”

“Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!”

“God has let me live another day and I'm going to make it everyone's problem.”

“You seem familiar... have I threatened you before?”

“I have one foot in the grave but in a kind of fun flirty way, the way one might slip on a fishnet stocking.”

“Gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss.”

i would love to know some feedback on the concept so i might get actual motivation to start writing it properly!

also a playlist i made for no one to care about filled to the brim with vibes.

[ladyloveandjustice]

I've been wanting to add to this with my own additional yuri recs but haven't had time.

I tagged them in the original post but the first one I quoted was

Otherside Picnic by Iori Miyazawa

Science fiction/fantasy yuri about two college girls that travel to a mysterious world called the "otherside" and face mysterious beings and untold monsters, all while growing closer to each other.Both a novel series and manga (and anime, but it doesn't really get to the romance stuff), and novel 8 is genuinely some of the most romantic stuff I've ever read in my life.

Goodbye My Rose Garden by Dr. Pepperco

a Victorian yuri focused on literary ladies. A young Japanese woman travels to England seeking the author of her favorite book, only to be laughed at by the gatekeeping men at the publishing house. A noblewoman comes across her and takes her in as her maid to save her from being stranded without a home, but the noblewoman has a secret, and the two slowly start to long for each other. Lavish art, tons or romantic lines, explores the struggle Victorian women had to be taken seriously as both authors and readers, and explores the homophobia of the era a bit.

The Moon on a Rainy Night by Kuzushiro

A young woman meets a hard of hearing girl who was a pianist before she lost her hearing. Both of them are great characters, and I especially love that the series lets Kanon (the hoh girl) get angry about ableism and have messy emotions like a real teenager. The main character is also a wonderful mess of issues and there's this moment where she learns the Japanese sign for marriage involves a man and a woman and is just smacked with depression over heteronormativity that felt so real. The depth of her feelings is just beautifully done.

How Do We Relationship by Tamifull

An extremely sexy manga about two college age women navigating the messiness of relationships. A lot of y'all in the tags are complaining about yuri being chaste for some reason even though it's easy to find yuri with sex scenes, so if you want a not-erotica yuri about adult relationships with a lot of sex (with the bonus of having an artist that actually understands anatomy), this is your bag. There's also no self-questioning phase. It's grounded and I mean it when I say it's messy.

Pieta by Nanae Haruno

A suicidal girl in an abusive family situation meets another girl who formerly struggled with mental illness as well, and they might have a mysterious past connection. Obviously, this is heavy, and I'll also throw in a cw for attempted suicide. I cannot believe I forgot to include the above in my original post because these panels honestly reprogrammed my brain and I consider it to be one of the most romantic lines I've ever read. It just really connected with me as a youth who struggled with suicidal ideation. I dreamed of someone saying this about me. Not officially translated and likely never will be (it's short), but you can find it online.

Hanamonotagari by schwinn

Older woman yuri, and we mean it this time. After her husband's death, a woman starts discovering herself and bonds with another woman her age through makeup and gay literature. Sadly hasn't been picked up as an official release and was cancelled way before it should have been (there are three volumes though), but we need to keep bugging manga companies about it.

More under the cut! More!

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat by Sakoami Yuzaki

A woman one loves to cook but doesn't have a huge appetite, only to find the woman next door to her does, so she cooks for her and they really start to bond over food and the trials of being working adults. Very grounded and sweet and very real, and yes, this is the one where the woman googles lesbian. It doesn't stop at that, but has the characters discuss different types of sexuality, including an asexual lesbian side character, and also explores cutting off toxic family members in a way not often seen in manga. It'll get ya in the heart. As a bonus, the author is outspoken about queer rights and even

The Guy She Was Interested Wasn't A Guy At All by Arai Sumiko

A web manga, don't let the weird title fool you, it's good. This follows a girl who dresses up in a mask and hoodie at a music shop, and one of her classmates falls for her, thinking she's a guy and being unaware she's the same girl as the one in her class (but don't worry, she clearly is into the classmate version of her too). They bond over music and there's suprisingly little "oh no I'm gay" angst considering the premise. The art is great and the characters are charming, and love for music infuses the whole thing.

And that's it for now! Seconding anonymocha's rec for Run Away with Me Girl. I'll be adding more to this later probably. Love a good rec chain.

twitter making me want to eat glass

Do ya'll seriously think lesbian stories don't say basic ass things like 'i can't stop thinking about you, i want you." Are you that up your own ass.

Do you think there are not pick up lines in yuri.???do you think they don't have ~poetic lines~ in wlw media???~ that are way better than this shit?

Apparently if some basic ass shonen said stuff like this you'd be acting like it's the height of poetry. Too bad it's actual wlw stories that aren't queerbaiting you. so it will get ignored.

[nightswithkookmin]

A quick lesson on ships

Because why not??😌

No but seriously, bare with me, I'm trying to answer your questions. Sit if you have to. Hehe

Uban Dictionary defines shipping as this:

A term used to describe fan fictions that take previously created characters and put them as a pair. It usually refers to romantic relationships, but it can refer platonic [sic] ones as well. (Just think of “shipping” as short for “relationSHIP”.) 9 Apr 2015

Ships can be platonic or romantic or both.

There's fictional ships and non fictional ships too. You ship two people you want to be in a relationship or who already are in a relationship or who you suspect to be in a relationship- perhaps due to queer baiting, ship baiting, romance baiting etc.

In the shipping fandom, there are two sects of people. Those who are Proships those who are Antiships- antis are ironically considered part of the shipping community because for some reason they are always in shippers business💀

Antishippers are those who oppose a particular ship or shipping in general (more on that later.)

Proshippers are well- Pro ships.

Pro-Ship

A term mostly used in fandoms, but can stretch outside of this to include original characters. The core belief is that shipping two fictional characters, no matter if they are family, share ages gaps, considered to be unhealthy, or show blatant signs of being abusive or other generally unsavory behaviours, are valid in a fictional setting.

Pro-Shippers or "anti-antis" are also known as "rainbow meaties" and will use 🌈 + 🍖 emojis together often in their bio on twitter or other social media platforms- usually within fictional settings.

These shippers reinforce the idea fiction is separate from reality and shouldn't be confused with the other.

‘Anti’ is short for ‘anti-shipper’ or ‘anti-[ship]’.

Kindly read through this thread to get the gist of it.

III

IV

Shipping non-fictional individuals is a subset of Proshipping, in my opinion, known also as alternative shipping- as far as my knowledge on it goes.

As with fictional shipping, alt ships have their antis too. People who disagree with shipping real couples in a romantic way for whatever arbitrary moral reasons they have and who feel entitled to go out of their way to correct, stop, police and punish such shippers.

Then there are those who although may be pro real people shipping think they have the right to tell others how they should ship and to what extent they can ship.

Others too prefer to ship real people platonically because they view romantic shipping of real people as problematic.

So to answer your question on Anon's post- there is no such thing as a Proshipper who is also Anti shipping. Thats oxymoronic. Perhaps they might be platonic shippers who are anti romantic ships but not necessarily romantic shippers themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with preferring to ship platonically. It is when they assume by virtue of their false sense of moderacy that they are better than others that shit starts to get funny.

Those shippers are delusionally confused beings with a supremacist imperialist complex rooted in ignorance and absurdities.

I usually walk by those quietly. keep it pushing. Gotta mind my business somehow even though most times I just want to pull their hair and bite them and shit😭

I try to keep it classy.

Lord knows I try.

You are either pro ship or anti ship. There's no in between. Those shippers who are shippers but claim they are not are nothing but fraudulent, fake us, simps trying to bamboozle their way through life- pardon my Swahili.

There are a lot of anti shippers moonlighting as shippers in this fandom. It's fascinating.

Personally I think those people are either confused or their desires to appeal to other Anti shippers must have morphed their brains into ass dick hybrids.

Anti shippers in general are notorious gatekeepers, gaslighters, bigots, high key sanctimonious and often have a cis white westernized sense of morality and ethics through which they fliter others and expect everyone and everything to conform to.

They impose their values on others, their ethics on others, resort to manipulation, policing, intimidation and bullying to impose their will etc.

Within shipping, there are those who are Proshipping yet anti certain ships. Most Tuktukkers are anti Jikook. And assume anyone who isn't a tuktukker is equally anti Tae Kook and so go ahead and exhibit anti behaviours towards them.

Think of such groups of shippers as Proshippers with a preference for particular ships if you will.

There are Pro shippers who also feel some kind of way about Shipping real life people or alt shipping.

Here's further resource to help you understand what proshipping is

If you are intolerant with other shippers choice of ships or style of shipping and you traumatize them for it that's Anti shipping. Especially if you feel entitled and justified to traumatize others because you take a higher moral status over them.

You can be proship and not like how certain people, how they go about

Simply walk away, click off, mind your business. You are not the only adult in these streets and leave people to do what interests them.

I think for as long as I can remember, I've always been a proshipper and I ship both platonically and romantically, fictionally and alternatively💀

Some themes in fiction are a hard limit for me such as the R word, pedophilia, incest, child abuse- I just can never find the entertainment in those topics and will struggle through such themes.

But others believe it's just FICTION and those fictional characters aren't really dealing with the imaginary struggles we read about.

Yall do you sis.

I don't really know why people make a big deal of it or try to demonize the concept of shipping as if it were something strange or mysterious- just keep your moral values to yourself. I am not your mother's daughter. we were not raised in the same households.

Then again I think it all depends on the different cultures and social backgrounds we all come from and how entitled, supremacist or imperialist they are.

For Yoonmin, I shipped them romantically but didn't think they were a real couple at all. I just romanticized their interactions and found humor in it. At the back of my head I was expecting them each to one day find husbands or wives and go their merry ways and even harbored the thought they each could very much be in serious romantic relationships with others.

In similar ways, I shipped Minimoni and Vmin.

You can ship a pair romantically and not think at all that they are actually REAL.

A lot of jokers ship Jikook romantically and don't assume they are real. Just as a lot of people shipped say Elena and Stefan romantically even though Paul was married.

Some shipped Elena and Damon too due to their unscreen chemistry and even felt they could be a thing- that was before later it was revealed they had started dating in real life. Even that I was holding on to my Bonnie x Damon fantasies because Bonnie was my bias and I shipped her with everyone romantically- of course I didn't expect any of those ships to manifest into something because it was the character I was shipping not Kat herself. To this day I still love her onscreen chemistry and friendship with Damon and don't see how people could wish for it to be more than that😭

It was beautiful as is. Not everything should climax into sexual intercourse.

But if I felt at some point any of her ships had crossed into alternative ships I would have jumped on those and supported it whole heartedly.

If you assume a pair are a real couple and dating in real life that's alt shipping- a lot of alt shippers suspect a ship is real and that's why they ship them.

There is no such thing as platonic alt shipping.

And for me personally, because I believe Jikook are a real couple and have made that cross over I don't ship any of that pair romantically with other members anymore.

It's bizzare to me to ship someone I know has a partner romantically with anybody else- I make exceptions for Vmin of course💀

I know JK is side eyeing me but I don't care.

I want Tae to be happy too😭😭😭

Tae just wants his bestfriend and soulmate😭

It's too much😭😭😭😭😭😭

He stays shooting his shots🤣

Jimin Harem is real🤭

I must admit, I catch myself slipping on Vmin and Minimoni every now and then- old habits die hard and they don't make it easy 😫

But that don't mean I think Vmin is dating. THAT WOULD BE WILD.

Summary

Proshippers can be Platonic or Romantic shippers and you can ship a pair romantically and not assume they are real at all.

Anti shippers are just assholes trying to beat their values down people's throats.

Alt shippers don't ship their OTP with other players romantically.

I don't know what you mean by Jinkooker...

Do you ship Jinkook romantically or think they are real?? Sis...

Maybe you just ship them platonically or casually.

I ship all the ships platonically.

Especially all Jimin"s Tae's ships. I'd let my self flirt with the idea of romance every now and then.

JK's ships don't make sense to me as ships.

As nonplatonic ships I mean.

I'm fascinated each time I see a hardcore JK x any member ship besides Jikook swearing up and down JK is screwing Namjoon🤣🤣

I hope this helps??

GOLDY

[callmearcturus]

(u can answer on priv if you want to) god, arc, do you have like a general writing server that you're in or, better, that you started, bc i do desperately want to start on this longfic ive been meaning to get to for a horrendously long time but it's daunting as fuck and i could use a sounding board of other writers who are struggling to write longfic. also if u have any tips u can point me towards not giving up on the fic after typing out 50 words of utter crap and closing the document that'd be swell bc no one i know rn is writing like you

Unfortunately, no, I only have my Whomstve server that I write in, not a general one. I started a general one at this point YEARS ago but it just never took off. It's sadly just easier to shoot the shit regarding fannish stuff than original work.

I could tell you how I do it, at least? In every server I run, I tend to create a "jam channel" which is for writing jams. They're the writer's equivalent to an artist livestream. I start working on a chapter and when I finish a good chunk, I put it in the channel, and people will hit me with encouraging emojis or scream a bit. It's a good way to get that instant dopamine hit of Reaction, and also to figure out what parts of the story are working and what ones are not. This lets me redirect and tweak things before the final posting.

For me, the way I manage to, uh, do this, is that... for one, my brain is fucking broken so I can just sit down and make words happen to such a degree I have literally injured myself in the past doing so. (Not fun!)

But also I approach my writing less like A Book and more like a serialized story. I share things very episodically and encourage the Water Cooler Talk, both by engaging with readers when they poke me and also just in the actual way the story is told. I try to ensure every chapter/part/segment has at least two or three things that are worth discussion, and I lean heavily on structuring my writing around the audience slowly uncovering a mystery of some kind.

This is probably why I write a lot of fantasy and weird alien stuff, it lets me gatekeep the knowledge the reader has and organically teach them bit by bit about the story's rules and world. And I have gotten a lot of feedback regarding that as an appealing part of my style.

So I guess my advice is to make a story something that is uncovered piece by piece by the reader and the reader's best proxy character. It's good when the character fucks up due to a piece of knowledge they lacked, it's good when they get questions answered and re-answered with evolving context. And make everything just soap opera-y enough that folks look forward to new updates like a new episode of a show they like. 8)

That all sounds vaguely calculating but to be clear: this is literally what I enjoy about writing. Crafting this kind of story and creating a dialogue between my story and the audience is fun to me. 8)

If you are not a "feedback will speed up my writing output" then, uh, idk! But this is what works for me!

[olderthannetfic]

In my kpop fandom, some white lesbians like to gatekeep the dreaded "cishets" as if they have some kind of epistemic authority to write about mlm dynamics. There's one who imagines her smut is somehow not "fetishizing" when it's the exact same thing. Don't get me started on the superiority that comes with thinking all kpop ships are fake, which basically means they prefer the idea of being queerbaited when the possibility it's real definitely exists. For the record, I am queer.

--

Man... I was watching react videos to that one necrophilia-tastic KARD mv, and it was hilarious how all of them were like "Are they trying to ship the members now? This is super fake! No chemistry!" Talking about how fake the fanservice is is a time honored part of idol fandom.

I'm sure there are plenty of closeted Korean pop stars. I 100% do not believe any of the relationships their fandoms like are real, and that includes the het ones.

Yes, most idols are secretly dating someone, but even if their fans were to guess right from their extremely curated public appearances (dubious!), we're still only seeing the public face of that relationship, not what it's actually like.

It's exceedingly annoying when people think their fanfic porn is morally superior to everyone else's and when they try to gatekeep commercial entertainment intended for whomever will fork over cash, but I'm laughing at the idea that you'd go to idol groups for anything other than queerbaiting--or more appropriately in this context, fanservice. Fantasy fodder that never quite commits is the entire point of idols.

(TBH, I think 'queerbaiting' is not at all the right way to look at media from Asia. It's a concept born from fans' misunderstanding of how US tv and mainstream film work, and it's barely relevant here, let alone in a totally different context.)

If I want to support queer art or hear an artist talk about what their queerness means to them, I can certainly find that, but it will be in a different part of the entertainment industry.

I'll start taking fans' "NO IT'S SO QUEER FOR REALZ THOUGH" opinions seriously the same time they stop being about whomever is the #1 most popular idol this year and start being about Fanxy Red or something.

[kdinjenzen]

Seeing you talk up the XIII gives me so much joy because I actually really love those games, flaws and all and it makes me sad how harsh some ff fans are about them

So, let’s be real... nothing is perfect. Absolutely nothing. Not a single piece of content or media in any way has ever come close to perfect because... it cannot. There is no such thing as perfection.

It’s why I hate “serious ratings” overall.

“5/5 Stars: The Best Thing I Ever Played”

“Rated 100% Fresh: Cinema Masterpiece”

“10/10: The Greatest Show Of All Time”

It’s all bullshit.

Be it a show, a game, a movie, a book, whatever... how someone views it will change how how it’s received by them.

My motto is “Find something that you find fun and enjoy it.”

I like Final Fantasy 13.

Do I think it’s great? Ehhh, maybe not.

Do I think it’s the best? Definitely not.

Is it my favorite Final Fantasy? Not even close!

But do I think it’s FUN? YUP!!!

GIMME SASSY SPEAR LESBIAN AND GRUMPY SWORD LESBIAN! I NEED THAT CONTENT! I CRAVE IT!

And that’s the only thing that matters really.

If you meet folks who gatekeep a genre or series or ANYTHING, and they just start trash talking something (AND YOU) because you said “oh I just started ____ and I’m having fun” ... I encourage you to challenge them on it or just stop talking to them.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

can we adress how toxic some of these self/harm and suicide fics are?? as someone who has struggled with these issues, treating them as just a way for the two characters to get together, or one character to be the savior who cures someone of their problems? I'm so frickin over it. continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention is a symptom of something major. This is not something i like seeing romanticized. at all.

[CONTENT WARNING FOR ENTIRE POST: heavy discussions of trauma, suicide, self harm, depression, political issue mentions, and eating disorders. Please proceed with care. I am not cutting the post because I think the message is important, so scroll past until my icon disappears <3 Stay safe, My Lovelies.]

Hey Nonny

Okay, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here because you mention you DO have struggles with these issues, so I’m going to state right up front here and say I AM NOT DISREGARDING YOUR PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AT ALL. Your view of this topic is valid, and it’s not something I am ever going to say is wrong for you. 

I would like to offer an olive branch, here, Nonny, and give you an alternative take on this, because I’m concerned that perhaps you are still coping with your own struggles and in return, you unwittingly and unintentionally are coming off as unsympathetic to other people’s coping mechanisms.

I KNOW how hard it is to see another view when yours is the only one that seems right, especially after a tragedy or after dealing with heavy things. But all I am asking is for you to temporarily extend some empathy as I discuss my thoughts in this post, and I apologize in advance if I come off as dickish, because, again, it’s hard to see past your own feelings, and I tend to give a “firm but understanding” approach to asks like this. It’s NOT meant to call you our personally. Just asking for an open mind.

I will tackle this ask in a similar fashion to this post here, which talks about shipping vs fetishization so CW for that, as well as like this post here, where we discuss pet peeves. My assumption here is that Nonny is unsure about what “romanticizing” actually entails, and how much this ask is basically Gatekeeping Fiction 101, a thing that’s been going on since the beginning of storytelling. The ask is perceived by me to be emotionally unaware of how unsympathetic it actually sounds, and in turn can unintentionally upset people who engage in these stories.

First thing’s first, Nonny, and I said it before, I GET IT. I understand what you’re going for here, why you feel it’s toxic, and why you think it shouldn’t exist. Here’s the thing, though: what you’re ACTUALLY calling for here is censorship and gatekeeping because YOU PERSONALLY take issue with something, want the fandom specially curated just for you, because it PERSONALLY OFFENDS YOU. And that, it itself, is what’s really toxic, here. Just because YOU are offended, does not mean that it’s not helpful to SOMEONE ELSE, and it’s selfish to make such a demand of people.

Let me explain.

As I mention in the link above re: shipping, many people read and write fics to cope with the reality of their own experiences. Nonny, your experience is NOT the same as someone else’s. Your pain is NOT universal, and you DON’T KNOW what that author has been through; for all you know, they spent 6 months in-hospital after attempting suicide, and they are now simply processing their trauma through storytelling. 

Or, “continuing to put your partner in limbo by threatening this behavior when they don't give you enough attention” ? It’s a VERY REAL THING that ACTUALLY happens in real life, and perhaps it happened to that author, or they want to write an alternate ending to their pain.

Or, “one character to be the saviour who cures someone of their problems?” is something a suicide survivor WISHES someone did for them. Because they feel alone in the world and don’t want to be alone anymore.

These stories are simply escapism for people, either to learn about or share what these mental illnesses do to people, or are the “fantasies” of survivors, of their ideal outcome to their own tragedies. Coping with guilt over the loss of someone they feel they could have saved. The brutal truth about realty.

And sometimes, it is because some people need a good cry and a feel-good happy ending, because real life? Well, it rarely has those happy endings and so few opportunities to let us cry, and sometimes life is just easier when we view it through the eyes of fictional characters. Do you not want someone to save you sometimes Nonny? And I mean metaphorically here, too. Someone to just take all of your hellish burdens off those shoulders for one day. Someone who will come in to save you from yourself. I know I do.

And, well, sometimes, Nonny, it makes people feel less alone in this socially distanced world.

They’re not glorifying that issue Nonny. They’re telling their story.

Here are some thoughts:

Romanticization: Some trendy teen outlet selling a shirt with “mentally diseased” written across it.

NOT Romanticization: A character in a story coming to terms with a diagnosis of mental illness and learning ways to adapt. Their partner is involved 100% and they learn together.

Romanticization: Sherlock merchandise being sold with “I’m a high functioning sociopath” (not mention ableist as all heck)

NOT Romanticization: A character self-harms because of depression, and character B helps the character through their pain and together they get proper therapy and treatment.

Romanticization: Calling yourself “OMG I’m so bipolar!” because it’s trendy.

NOT Romanticization: A clinically depressed author, who survived a suicide attempt, wanting to tell their story through characters the world is already familiar with, and one that a touchy subject can be expressed and understood by other people, because they’re not ready to write the “real” book. Fandom is a safety net for them.

See what I mean Nonny? We don’t KNOW what kind of pain these authors have PERSONALLY been through, and to censor them from having their voices heard and their stories told is just not on for me.

And let me be clear: YES OF COURSE romanticization happens EVERYWHERE. I am not denying that. But your ask is coming off like EVERY STORY EVER WRITTEN is glorification of something. By your logic:

Disabled people shouldn’t write about their disabilities because they’re romanticising themselves.

The authors with medical degrees shouldn’t write realistic med-fics because some where in the world, ONE person MAY HAVE had a similar experience as Character A and B.

Someone broke their foot in ballet so they shouldn’t write a story about a ballet dancer who broke their hip because it may offend ONE ballerina SOMEWHERE in space and time who got sideline at the prime of their career? 

Stories about LGBT+ people shouldn’t be written because homophobes think it’s icky.

We shouldn’t write about wizards because it offends high school catholic pastors (an actual thing that happened)? 

How about cancer stories because kids die of cancer all the time? 

Non-fiction autobiographies about holocaust survivors is not okay.

Science books offend flat earthers, so we shouldn’t write those.

Books about the Big Bang and a 4.5 billion-year-old earth offends creationists, so burn those.

A now-adult child rape victim writing their survival stories to help get their often-in-power abusers behind bars are taboo.

True crime stories from detectives on those cases shouldn’t be told because they weren’t the victim.

Non-fiction in general because someone somewhere may have had that one singular thing happen to them.

How about coping with grief over a parent’s sudden death because I personally might find offense in that since that was a horridly traumatic experience in my life?

Do you see how progressively out of touch this argument is? (the answer to all of these: authors should be allowed to write them, because stories make us human). Your argument leads down the very dangerous path to censorship of books, the internet, and history... to have people only read and learn what someone else dictates, leading to... well.

I’m not trying to be a dick here, Nonny, I’m really not. But I think you’re really missing the entire point of fiction and story telling. I feel you’re failing in the empathy game here, and failing to understand what romanticizing really actually is. 

Whenever I get asks like this, I always feel like the Nonnies don’t really know much about pre-Ao3. I come from “early internet” fandom age, and I’m talking before tags existed. Back when I had to go buy a book at Coles and guess what was in it based on a cover description. No “amazon reviews”. No “harmful content warning” stickers. You just picked up that book, and sometimes you get a sweet story about a friends exploring an alien landscape, and other times WHOOOPS ACCIDENTAL ALIEN SEX I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR. And sometimes, it ended with a dark story about death, and the reality of coping with it.

Twenty years ago, books on the shelves at bookstores and libraries were the only place you could do your reading and they certainly do NOT have tags on them... Modern tagging of stories are a REALLY recent thing introduced probably no less than 15 years ago and was perfected by Ao3 (which was started in 2009). 

These days, there is no excuse if you only consume fanfiction on Ao3. Fics are tagged with proper possible-trigger tags 90% of the time. They have a VERY METICULOUS filtering system. You aren’t being forced to read the fics, you don’t have to read the fics, so use those tag filters, they exist for a reason.

So, with that in mind, I genuinely DON’T GET this attitude about people wanting everything sugar coated and saccharine by default. Especially when you can LITERALLY CURATE YOUR OWN CONTENT. Life isn’t sugar coated. And fiction shouldn’t have to be either. People tag fics with triggers for a reason.

As they used to say back in my early internet days: Don’t like it? Don’t read it. Don’t comment, skip, next story.

And to put this ALL into perspective, so that you don’t think I’m talking out of my ass, I’m going to reveal something here: Do you know what fics I can’t read, Nonny, because they trigger me? Eating disorders. That’s self harm, Nonny, in a very different way. But you know what? I know that those fics DO help other ED people so I’m not going to sit her and tell people NOT to rec or write them. And some of those authors who write those stories are processing their own ED through those stories, healing in their own way. And you know what I do when I see one of those fics? I don’t read them, move on, next story.

I’m sorry if you perceive this as me being harsh with you here, Nonny, and you DON’T have to agree with me and you can block me and never talk to me again, and I’ll understand. As I stated at the beginning, I’m offering an alternative perspective, and helping you to see that some people take comfort in these types of stories.

I think what this all boils down to Nonny, after all of this, and rereading your question a final time to see if I missed covering anything, is that (and feel free to shit on me if I am wrong here) I’m getting the impression – as an unprofessional outsider looking in – that you’re still struggling with your inner demons, whether you realize it or not. The tone and brashness of your ask has me believing this... It feels like it was written after a trigger-moment and you needed to vent AT someone because you are alone, and that hurts my heart so much. I truly hope you find peace in your mind, soon, and I hope you have someone to talk to professionally, or at least a friend. (tw under link, suicidal ideation discussion and links to phone numbers that can help you). I only wish the best for you, my Nonny.

Anyway. I welcome other people to chime in here, respectfully, and let me know if I have the wrong take here. Because I genuinely don’t think I do, but I am not a professional, so my entire thing that took me 3 hours to write here is probably moot. I’m especially interested (on anon in my asks if you’re not comfy with revealing yourselves) on thoughts from other people who have survived the original topics here, as well as any therapists and authors as well.

Take care of yourself Nonny. And please curate your own content for your mental health. Ao3 has an “exclusionary tag system” as well, please use it. *hugs*

[oscopelabs]

It’s Arrested Development: How ‘High Fidelity’ Has Endured Beyond Its Cultural Sell-By Date by Vikram Murthi

It’s easy to forget now that at the beginning of 2020, before the pandemic had taken hold of our consciousness, for a brief moment, High Fidelity was back. Not only did Nick Hornby’s debut novel and Stephen Frears’ film adaptation celebrate major milestones this year — 25th and 20th anniversaries, respectively — but a TV adaptation premiered on Hulu in February. In light of all of these arbitrary signposts, multiple thinkpieces and remembrances litigated Hornby’s original text on familiar, predictable grounds. Is the novel/film’s protagonist Rob actually an asshole? (Sure.) Does Hornby uphold his character’s callous attitudes towards women? (Not really.) Hasn’t the story’s gatekeeping, anti-poptimist approach to artistic taste culturally run its course? (Probably.) Why do we need to revisit this story about this person right now? (Fair question!)

Despite reasonable objections on grounds of relevancy, enough good will for the core narrative—record store owner seeks out a series of exes to determine a pattern of behavior following a devastating breakup—apparently exists to help produce a gender-flipped streaming show featuring updated musical references and starring a decidedly not-middle-aged Zoë Kravitz. I only made it through six of ten episodes in its first (and only) season, but I was surprised by how closely the show hewed to High Fidelity’s film adaptation, to the point of re-staging numerous scenes down to character blocking and swiping large swaths of dialogue wholesale. (Similarly, the film adaptation hewed quite close to the novel, with most of the dialogue ripped straight from Hornby.) Admittedly, the series features a more diverse cast than the film, centering different experiences and broadly acknowledging some criticisms of the source material regarding its ostensibly exclusionary worldview. Nevertheless, it seemed like a self-defeating move for the show to line itself so definitively with a text that many consider hopelessly problematic, especially considering the potential to repurpose its premise as a springboard for more contemporary ideas.

High Fidelity’s endurance as both a piece of IP and a flashpoint for media discourse is mildly baffling for obvious reasons. For one thing, its cultural milieu is actually dated. Even correcting for vinyl’s recent financial resurgence, the idea of snooty record store clerks passing judgment on customer preferences has more or less gone the way of the dodo. With the Internet came the democratization of access, ensuring that the cultivation of personal taste is no longer laborious or expensive, or could even be considered particularly impressive (if it ever could have been). Secondly, as one might imagine, some of Hornby’s insights into heterosexual relationships and the differences between men and women, even presented through the flawed, self-deprecating interiority of High Fidelity’s main character, are indeed reductive. Frears’ film actually strips away the vast majority of Hornby’s weaker commentary, but the novel does include such cringeworthy bits like, “What’s the deal with foreplay?” that are best left alone.

Accounting for all of that, though, it’s remarkable how many misreadings of Hornby’s text have been accepted as conventional wisdom. It’s taken as a given by many that the novel and film earnestly preach the notion that what you like is more important than what you are like when, in fact, the narrative arc is constructed around reaching the opposite conclusion. (The last lines of the novel and film are, literally, “…I start to compile in my head a compilation tape for her, something that's full of stuff she's heard of, and full of stuff she'd play. Tonight, for the first time ever, I can sort of see how it's done.”) That’s relatively minor compared to the constant refrain that Rob’s narcissism goes uncriticized, even though the story’s thematic and emotional potency derives from what the audience perceives that Rob cannot. To put it bluntly, High Fidelity’s central irony revolves around a man who listens to music for a living being unable to hear the women in his life.

While Hornby’s prose immerses the reader in Rob’s interior monologue, providing ample room for the character to spout internal justifications of his behavior, the novel hardly obscures or conceals this conclusion. Moreover, the film makes it unavoidably explicit in numerous scenes. Rob (John Cusack) triumphantly pantomimes Rocky Balboa’s boxing routine soundtracked to Queen’s “We Are The Champions” after his ex-girlfriend Laura (Iben Hjejle) confirms she hasn’t yet slept with her new boyfriend Ray (Tim Robbins), but doesn’t hear the part where she says she prefers to sleep next to him. When Laura informs Rob that she did eventually sleep with Ray, Rob completely falls apart. In an earlier, more pointed scene, Rob goes out with his ex-girlfriend from high school (Joelle Carter) to ask why she chose to have sex with an obnoxious classmate instead of him. She venomously informs him that he actually broke up with her because she was too prudish, an abrupt, cruel bit of business we actually witness at the film’s beginning. It was in her moment of heartbroken vulnerability that she agreed to quickly sleep with someone else (“It wasn’t rape because I technically said, ‘Okay,’ but it wasn’t far off,” she sneers), which ultimately put her off sex until after college. Rob doesn’t hear this explanation or the damning portrait of his teenaged self. Instead, he’s delighted to learn that he wasn’t actually dumped.

These are evidently low character moments, one’s that are comedic in their depiction of blinkeredness but whose emotional takeaways are crystal clear, and one’s that have been written about before. My personal pick from the film, though, comes late when Rob attends Laura’s father’s funeral. He sits in the back and, in typical fashion, turns to the camera to deliver a list of songs to play at his funeral, concluding with his professed wish that “some beautiful, tearful woman would insist on ‘You’re The Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me’ by Gladys Knight.” It’s a really galling, egotistical moment that still makes me wince despite having seen the movie umpteen times. Yet, it’s immediately followed by the casket being lowered to the ground as Laura’s sobs ring out in the church. In a movie defined by John Cusack’s vocal timbre, it’s one of the few times when he completely shuts up. From two-thirds down the center aisle, Frears’ camera pushes into Cusack’s face until tears in his eyes are visible, but what you really see is an appropriately guilt-ridden, ashamed expression.

However, none of this evidence carries any weight if your objection to High Fidelity is that Rob suffers no material consequences for his behavior. While Rob is frequently called out for his actions, he is never actively punished. He doesn’t, say, receive a restraining order for continually calling Laura after they’ve broken up or end up alone mending a permanent broken heart because of his past relationships. By the end, Rob and Laura get back together and Rob even starts an independent record label on the side. It’s a stretch to characterize Hornby’s High Fidelity as a redemption tale, but it is a sideways rehabilitation narrative with a happy ending that arises at least partly out of mutual exhaustion.

Those two elements—Rob’s asshole recovery and the exhausted happy ending—rarely seem to factor into High Fidelity discourse. Granted, there’s credence to the idea that, socially and culturally, people have less patience for the personality types depicted in High Fidelity, and thus are less inclined to extend them forgiveness, let alone anything resembling retribution. I suppose that’s a valid reaction, one against which I have no interest in arguing, but it’s somewhat ironic that High Fidelity has endured for reasons that have nothing to do with its conclusions regarding inflexible personal principles and the folly of escapism. Both the book and film are specifically about someone who slowly comes to terms with accepting reality rather than live in a world mediated by pop cultural fantasies whose unrealistic expectations have only caused personal suffering. It’s not unfair to characterize this as a fairly obvious epiphany, but considering we currently live in a world dominated by virtual echo chambers with an entertainment culture committed to validating arrested adolescence, it retroactively counts as “mature” and holds more weight than it otherwise should.

Near the end of High Fidelity, the book, after Rob and Laura have gotten back together in the aftermath of Laura’s father’s death, Hornby includes a chapter featuring five conversations between the couple unpacking the state of their relationship. During the third conversation, Rob and Laura fight about how she doesn’t care about music as strongly as he does, catalyzed by Rob’s objection to Laura liking both Solomon Burke and Art Garfunkel, which, in his mind, is a contradiction in terms. Laura finally admits that not only does she not really care about the difference between them, but that most people outside of his immediate circle of two don’t care about the difference, and that this mentality is indicative of a larger problem. It’s part of what keeps him stuck in his head and reluctant to commit to anything. “I’m just trying to wake you up,” she says. “I'm just trying to show you that you've lived half your life, but for all you've got to show for it you might as well be nineteen, and I'm not talking about money or property or furniture.”

I fell for High Fidelity (first the movie, then the book) as a younger man for the reasons I assume most sensitive-cum-oblivious, culturally preoccupied straight guys do: it accurately pinpoints a pattern of music consumption and organizationally anal-retentive behavior with which I’m intimately familiar. I spent the vast majority of my early years listening to and cataloguing albums, and when I arrived at college, I quickly fell in with a small group of like-minded music obsessives. We had very serious, very prolonged discussions filled with impossibly strong opinions about our favorite artists and records. Few new releases came and went without them being scrutinized by us, the unappreciated scholars of all that is righteous. List-making wasn’t in vogue, but there wasn’t a song that passed us by that we didn’t judge or size up. I was exposed to more music during this relatively short period of time than I likely will ever absorb again. Some of these times were the most engaging and fun of my life, and I still enjoy discussing and sharing music with close friends, but I’m not such a true believer to fully feel comfortable with this behavior. It’s not entirely healthy on its own and definitely alienating to others, and there comes a point when you hear yourself the way a stranger might, or maybe even catch a glimpse of someone’s eyes when you’re midst rant about some stupid album, and realize, “That’s all there is of me. There isn’t anything else.”

This is what Rob proclaims to Laura in the conversation when she tells him she was more interested in music during their courtship than she is now. It’s a patently self-pitying statement on his part that doesn’t go unchallenged by her in the moment or bear fruit in the rest of the novel. Yet, it’s this type of uncomfortably relatable sentiment that goes under-discussed. If High Fidelity will continue to have a life well after its cultural moment has passed, then it’s worth addressing what it offers on its own terms. Near the end of the book, Laura introduces Rob to another couple with whom he gets along quite well. When the evening comes to an end, she tells him to take a look at their record collection, and it’s predictably filled with artists he doesn’t care for, e.g. Billy Joel, Simply Red, Meat Loaf. “'Everybody's faith needs testing from time to time,” Laura tells him later when they’re alone. Amidst Rob’s self-loathing and sullen pettiness, Hornby argues that one should contribute in some way rather than only consume and that, at some point, it’s time to put away childish ideas in order to get the most out of life. It’s an entirely untrendy argument, one that goes against the nostalgic spirit of superhero films and reboot culture, but it doesn’t lack merit. Accepting that some values aren’t conducive to a full life, especially when it’s shared with someone else, doesn’t have to mean abandoning interests or becoming an entirely different person. It just means that letting go isn’t an admission of defeat.

It’s why I’ve always found the proposal scene in the film to be quite moving, albeit maybe not specifically romantic. It plays out similarly in both the book and the film, but the film has the added benefit of Cusack and Hjejle’s performances to amplify the vulnerability and shared understanding. Laura meets Rob for a drink in the afternoon where he sheepishly asks if she would like to get married. Laura bursts out laughing and says that he isn’t the safest bet considering he was making mixtapes for some reporter a few days prior. When asked what brought this on, Rob notes that he’s sick of thinking about love and settling down and marriage and wants to think about something else. (“I changed my mind. That’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard. I do. I will,” she sarcastically replies.) He goes on to say that he’s tired of fantasizing about other women because the fantasies have nothing to do with them and everything to do with himself and that it doesn’t exist never mind delivering on its promise. “I’m tired of it,” he says, “and I’m tired of everything else for that matter, but I don’t ever seem to get tired of you.”

This sort of anti-Jerry Maguire line would be callous if Laura didn’t basically say the same thing to him when they got back together. (“I’m too tired not to be with you.”) It’s possible to read this as an act of mutual settling, but I always thought Hornby’s point was personal growth and accepting one’s situation were intertwined. The key moment in High Fidelity, the film, comes when Laura finds Rob’s list of top five dream jobs. (In the book, Laura makes Rob compile the list.) At the bottom of the list, after such standard choices like music journalist and record producer, lies architect, a job that Rob isn’t entirely sure about anyway. (“I did put it at number five!” he insists.) Laura asks Rob the obvious question: wouldn’t you rather own your own record store than hypothetically be an architect, a job you’re not particularly enthused with anyway?

It’s Laura who convinces Rob that living the fifth-best version of your life can actually be pretty satisfying and doesn’t have to be treated like a cruel fate worse than death. Similarly, Rob and Laura both make the active decision to try to work things out instead of starting over with someone else. Laura’s apathy may have reunited them, and Rob’s apathy might have kept him from running, but it’s their shared history that keeps them together. More than the music and the romance, High Fidelity follows the necessary decisions and compromises one has to maneuver in order to grow instead of regress. “I've been letting the weather and my stomach muscles and a great chord change in a Pretenders single make up my mind for me, and I want to do it for myself,” Rob says near the end of Hornby’s novel. High Fidelity’s emotional potency lies in taking that sentiment seriously.