#let’s hope so because I like this for my own purposes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
miamooooo · 2 days ago
Text
josh putting a bratty reader in their place.
(warnings): nsfw, reader has female anatomy, pussy spanking, cunnilingus, overstimulation, spitting, slightly proofread, sorry for any typos!
yes josh loves a mouthy or sassy partner. josh gives off vibes of enjoying someone with a little brattiness to their personality because he loves how unpredictable you are. he finds it so easy to tease you, and he thinks it's both cute and hot when you don't take his shit and call him out. but he also enjoys putting you in your place if he needs to as well.
so imagine getting mouthy with josh after he asks you a simple question. you're giving him the nastiest attitude, rolling your eyes and crossing your arms.. and at first he thinks maybe you're just having a bad day, so he lets it slide... not without a few jokes that pisses you off, obviously. but if it persists...
josh is murmuring to himself as he makes his way to the bedroom. he stops by the doorway, forearm resting on the frame before he speaks. "hey babe, do you uh know the last place i left my hoodie?"
you look up from your phone, letting out a dramatic sigh before meeting josh's gaze. "really.. again? maybe if you took better care of your stuff, you wouldn't have to ask me every five seconds."
josh is so used to your smart mouth by now because he's awfully calm, tilting his head at you and pretending to be hurt by your little comment. "ouch. is that how you talk to your boyfriend?"
you roll your eyes at him, knowing that he was already starting to entertain the situation and enjoy it a little too much. "josh, don't piss me off.. you really don't wanna get me upset right now."
josh laughs at your pouty face, pushing off the doorframe and making his way closer to your sitting form on the bed. "oh, wouldn't i?" he teasingly ask. he really couldn't take you serious when you looked so cute trying to be all mean to him.
"you're so damn cute," he murmurs, leaning down and gently cupping your jaw in his hand. "but if you keep this up, i'm gonna have to remind you who you're talking to. alright, sweetheart?"
for a moment, the only thing you can do is stare up at him, contemplating if you should say something snarky back, and he's just waiting for the moment.. you can tell. he knows it'll happen, but you wanna try and prove him wrong.
... which is why you couldn't resist and replied with something bratty..
... which is also why you're in the current predicament of josh in between your thighs, lapping hungrily at your drooling and overstimulated cunt. this was the third time he was making you cum and no he didn't care about the way you were tugging sharply on his hair or how you whined out that it was all "too much," because you should've thought about that when he warned you the first time.
"mmh ohh fuck..!" you cried out, your voice trembling and legs threatening to close around josh's head, but his hands are moving to firmly grip your thighs, forcing them to stay open. he was purposely ignoring your cries of his name, his tongue flicking your puffy clit, humming in amusement at the way you babble out incoherent sentences.
you're moaning and drooling and josh loves how obedient you are when you're like this, how you're crying out strings of "..i'msorry-! promise i'll be good..!" and man he really wants to take your word for it, but he's gotten used to those empty promises, not even those pretty little tears could save you.
josh briefly pulls his head back, giving you false hope that he's finally giving you a break, only for him to spit directly on your clit before he's messily circling his tongue around the sensitive bud again, licking up his own saliva mixed with your arousal.
you're so out of it — eyes rolled into the back of your head, thighs trembling with the urge to cum again — you couldn't help the way you frantically started to buck your hips into his face until your cumming all over josh's mouth and chin.
"fuckfuckfuck- i'm cumming..!"
josh eagerly laps up your cum before pulling back and wiping his mouth, admiring his handiwork. he loved seeing you like this. whiny and so sensitive.. and completely not like your usual bratty self. he laughs softly to himself, impressed by how he's got you like a puddle just from eating you out, he could almost feel bad for you!
he brings his hand between your thighs to cup your overstimulated cunt, laughing when you're flinching at his touch and closing your legs around his hand. "keep 'em open, hon..." he warns softly, prying your legs back open with his free hand and pinning one of your thighs against the bed.
"mm-mm, no more..! too much.." you cry out, frustrated tears pricking the corner of your eyes that makes him fake a sympathetic pout.
"oh no.. oh no, no, no.." josh murmurs playfully, eyes softening at your vulnerable state as his fingers continue to caress your folds, coaxing moans and whines from your throat. he's so unserious, and it's absolutely infuriating. "don't tell me you're tapping out.."
and just when you think that he's finished having his fun with you, he's removing his hand — not giving you a second for a breather before he's bringing it down to land a sharp smack directly to your wet cunt, making you moan out in shock and instinctively shut your legs around his hand again.
josh tuts disapprovingly, firmly pulling your legs apart again, his amused eyes meeting your glossy ones. "close your legs again, and i'm tying you down next."
"mnh, josh—!"
"keep. them. open."
you're crying out loudly again, eyes screwing shut and body jolting softly as he continues to smack your sensitive and weeping pussy with every punctuated word.
it feels like it goes on for so long. you're trembling after each slap, struggling to be good and take what he's giving you, and josh just loved having you wrapped around his finger like this!
"that's it, sweetie... just a little more. i know you can take it." he coaxes with a few more teasing slaps before he's finally relenting and smoothing his hand over your sore skin.
by the end of it you're whimpering, chest heaving with relieved sighs as josh wipes away your stray tears. he coos at you in the most mocking way possible and gosh he just really didn't think that it was enough. he wanted to ruin you some more.
"are you gonna be good now?" josh asked, that stupid sarcasm still laced in his voice.
"m..mhm!" you frantically nod, hiccuping and whining out soft pleas as josh's gaze flicker over your tear-stained face. he stays silent for a moment, his fingers continuing to massage over your stinging and puffy folds that has you letting out soft whines. he's teasing you, letting the silence stretch for a moment longer before finally letting out a playful 'nah.'
"i don't think you're telling me the truth, hon!"
josh is nowhere near done with you! not even after hearing those soft and broken cries. if you could be bratty even after he warned you to behave, then you can handle what he gives you.
74 notes · View notes
nerdishpursuits · 2 days ago
Text
Sayeth others what they will, I am really enjoying the show. Santiago's face at Pelayo's betrayal is a poem. So was Marta's trying to deny the allegations. Santiago: She's an invert
Marta: Excuse this poor, uneducated man. The linguistic complexities of the Thesaurus Dex are lost on him. What he means is Introvert.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
All in all I'm glad Santiago's demise happens the way it does. Karmic justice prevailed in a way that stings worse for him, I think. He bit off more than he could chew, filled with self-importance and secure in his triumph over Marta. Having counted on Pelayo to back him up only to discover he's free-falling, no safety net in sight? Oh, how the turns have tabled, as @midniteowlet loves to say. Could be we have not seen the last of him, though. Alas, mediocre men? Ever their cup overfloweth with confidence. Santiago vowing vengeance even as he's being dragged away by the Civil Guard? Someone failed to understand the assignment, or asses the situation. Damian reaching out to hold Marta's hand as a vow of support and loyalty? Be still my heart, they've come SO far. In my humble opinion, the growth of their relationship has been one of the best written character arcs on the show. Marta & Damian: Dairy? What dairy? He's obviously trying to milk this lie for all it's worth
Santiago: Diary ... D I A R Y
Pelayo: someone take him out to pasture … the inmates work at the dairy farm, across town
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
As for Pelayo himself. So far, a pleasant surprise, albeit he largely remains an unknown. He signs the business deal without making a fuss. He returns Marta's diary to her, tells her he's not read it and advises her to get rid of it, informs her his reasons for helping her are his own and that he won't ask for favors, especially given men don't count among her tastes? Well. He's been a gentleman so far, noble and altruistic. Remains to be seen if he remains one. It would seem, tomorrow's preview corroborates the theory that Pelayo flies the Rainbow flag too. His 'I prefer to form my own opinions about people ... especially people like the both of us who don't fit the social mores' ... it appears he's confessing something personal to Marta, something that might level out the playing field between them. To me it looks like he's out to gain her trust. For what purpose? Now that's the question.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
If he's to become this show's Harry Cameron? I'm not opposed. Marta needs more allies and here's to hoping, as the show progresses, these two end up having a beautiful friendship. It really would be Marta hitting the jackpot in 1958: a sympathetic husband / best friend who ended up accepting her for who she was and a gay business partner / friend. Let's see where it all goes. Presently, he’s definitely trying to curry favour with Marta. For what reason, has yet to be determined. I will say? I am not liking Carmen at all these days. She acts like Tasio's mom, not his wife, as if he were incapable of making his own decisions. She's judging Marta as if she were a stranger and removes any and all accountability from Tasio. I keep repeating myself, but one questionable decision does not a questionable person make. Carmen being such a hot-head about this, while befitting her volcanic personality, is rather disappointing. I know she'll reconsider, but to think Marta is trying to buy Tasio's silence by ceding part of her shares in the company is ludicrous. Marta has always appreciated and supported Carmen within the company, and Carmen has had a front-row seat in witnessing Marta's fairness and kindness, her struggles and triumphs. I really need Fina to talk some sense into her. Volcano vs. Volcano. That ought to be a sight. Might I also hope Marta gives Fina the diary to read before she disposes of it? That they have a heartwarming conversation about it, growing even closer in their love, taking their intimacy to new heights? Because dispose of it she will, I think: sadly, it’s a smoking gun they can't afford.
Short rant long? Alright novelita. Lead the way. Let’s see what else you’ve got in store.
33 notes · View notes
moochii-daisies · 18 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
-18+, Minors DNI
- Genre//Pairing: fluff // idol yoongi x ditzy mess of a reader (they're the same age, reference to bein born in the 1900's)
- Summary: yoongi misses going to the movies, luckily - someone has a plan
- Length: 4.3k words
- warnings-content contains: swearing and yoongi has a lil sad moment (immediate comfort). reader and yoongi have unspoken (obvious) crushes on each other. cheesy use of d-day because song references bring me joy. they hold hands. because it's important to me that someone holds his hand. idk what it's like to be an idol this is loosely based on a daydream haha.
- Sidenotes: i think yoongi mentioned missing going to the movies in road to d-day? idk but the idea keeps popping up so i hope you enjoy and thank you for reading if you do <3 also - i think i read a fic a yr or so ago that first inspired this and if i can find it i'll post it here asap! (despite how this starts - i feel like yoongi would be so accepting and i hope that comes across)
──୨ৎ──────୨ৎ──────୨ৎ───
     "no."
yoongi slams the door in my face before i'm able to get a word in. and ok yeah, this idea is ridiculous.
but i'm on a mission.
it's sole purpose?
is to get this man out of the damn house.
     the devil himself mumbles through the intercom outside his front door, "you of all people, can not tell me to leave." and to be fair, the devil has a point.
     yoongi and i met in a pretty cliche way: bumped into each other in an elevator at work. but it wasn't love at first sight.
to put it politely.
the first time we were introduced properly, all this man did was stare blankly and say, "ok." before loudly launching into a monologue about how some girl on the elevator had ruined his morning coffee. (i accidentally bumped his shoulder and made him drop it.)
     in the many months since then - choice words have been said and things got immature. we may or may not have driven each other insane by exclusively texting at obscene hours. and someone may have pushed every single button on the elevator once to make the other late (it backfired, we were both going to the same meeting.)
     weirdly enough and despite all of this, our mutual love of chillin' the fuck out has been strong enough to bond us together. our combined ability to not leave the house has led to us spending a lot of our free time in each other's company. usually i hide whenever the doorbell rings, "you're like a stray cat." is what yoongi always says, all because i hissed at the sound of the doorbell one time. in my defense, i never know who the hell is gonna walk through his door. and i only hissed cause i was really tired. i think jungkook had come over at 8am to drop something off before he went to bed.
also, we almost exclusively hang out at his penthouse apartment. he came over to my place exactly once and discovered that i'd stopped going to the grocery store. in my defense (again), convenience stores really are convenient.
     since i "keep myself alive with shit food and miracles" - according to yoongi, our friendship has evolved to be...dynamic to say the least.
     this time though, i'm not the one who needs help being a person.
this time is different.
     i knew yoongi was famous before we became friends but it pretty quickly became obvious that yoongi was such an extreme shut-in out of necessity, not his own free will.
     if i hadn't recognized it, he certainly would've let me know. the hints started to drop whenever we'd watch a movie, he'd grumble and throw pieces of popcorn into my hair -
"this would be way more fun if we were in a theater."
     he insisted he didn't really want to go though, so i dropped it initially. but then he started sighing while looking out the window.
longingly.
     his chest would heave while he peered around dark curtains in his living room. although, he only ever did it at nighttime, so i dunno what he was looking at exactly. we did help stop a mugger once - with the aid of gargantuan binoculars that he bought for a bird-watching phase. i can't deny, that part was pretty cool.
however - the popcorn has become an issue. it's like he always has it on his person, specifically to throw at me. i dunno how he manages to do it but, there have been a few meetings lately where the other members stopped to pick pieces of it out of my hair with skeptical looks.
     i've given every reasonable excuse for it at this point and they're starting to get strange (ex: "i like to eat it with my hair hanging over the bowl.") whenever i've tried to call out the person responsible, yoongi does that thing he does when he's trying to avoid something. he gazes off at nothing and pretends to think very hard. usually, while he's walking away.
    all of this is to say - that's kinda why i'm here now: arguing with yoongi, locked outside of his apartment, with three giant bags weighing on my arms.
     " i, for some reason, am the only person who can tell you to leave." i smash down the button of the intercom to relay my response.
hobi led the group call initially -
     ok, i say group call. but this was the entire conversation:
hobi: yoongi?
jin: yep.
jimin: mhm.
taehyung: yup.
namjoon: yeah.
jungkook: yerp.
hobi: got it?
- ...
hobi: got it?
me: yes!
- call ended -
     i haven't really gotten that close with them yet.
and as far as i can tell, this is up to me.
apparently.
     yoongi scoffs through the monitor and static tickles down my ears.
     "you're the boss." is all he says.
     i can see the smirk on his face despite being on the other side of the door.
there's a moment of silence after that.
a moment that i break.
     "he who shall not be named! these are heavy and you have neighbors and i have time today. and i also! have no! shame!" yoongi pulls me through the door mid-shout.
     "are you fuckin' kidding me? you apologized to a tree for laughing too loud." his grip on my upper arm slides down to yank a bag out of one hand.
     "well, if it had been a person then it would've been polite." i huff and wobble on one leg, trying to get both shoes off hands free.
     as i look down at my stupidly tight boots, another bag lifts off of my arm.
     the sound of it crinkling is followed by a very heavy sigh.
     i triumphantly wrangle the second shoe off and grin at yoongi.
     "get out." he says sternly, then shoves the bags back against my chest.
     i grip onto his hands before he can pull them away.
with a small tug, and once he leans his face in closer, i whisper out, "no."
     he bonks his forehead against mine gently with a low, "okay, good." and we both smile on our way to the kitchen and dining area.
     once i've set the bags on the dark oak table i turn to him as seriously as i can, "ok but for real, if i have to watch you sigh while lookin' out the window one more time? i'm gonna lose my mind. plus, it'll be fun! you always say so..."
     i forget about trying to look serious and swing my hips back and forth as i talk.
     yoongi leans against clean kitchen countertops, crossing both arms and one foot over the other.
     "the simplicity is what i miss most." he's wry with his words, wrinkling his nose.
     i groan and rifle through the bags, "well when you start to sigh about that then i'll work on it. for now though, we've got...this!"
      shaking an ankle length tweed trench-coat, i turn to him with an encouraging nod.
     "this is gonna help me be unnoticed?" he asks incredulously.
     instead of answering, i dive back into the bag, rummaging around until i find a plastic pipe next.
     "might i suggest these for you sir?" i walk around the table and wave the trench-coat around in the air.
     "c'mon, you know you wanna. i already got us tickets on my phone! it's that new gambling movie where everything's tense the whole time but, the soundtrack has some composers you like -" i didn't mean to let that last part slip out.
     yoongi's lips twitch and he snatches the trench-coat away from me. then he gripes out:
     "hat."
just one word, accompanied with an expectant look.
     "please don't talk to me like i'ma dog." even though i say this, i reach into the bags to find the right one.
     yoongi smirks and takes a Sherlock Holmes style hat away from me.
     he jerks his chins at the bags and softly commands, "you."
i pull out an oversized men's suit, bowler hat and fake mustache from the middle one.
      yoongi's deadpan, "did you just wanna dress like Holmes and Watson." and i open my mouth to respond, then close it, twice.
     "look - it's D-Day. we're in disguise, it's like a sneaky mystery. like, nobody is gonna know except us and you can't throw popcorn at me!" i sneak in the request i've been too scared to ask at the end. it's easier to say with my eyes closed but, that doesn't cover how red my face feels.
     it's silent for a weird amount of time and i peek an eye open to glance at him.
     "change." is all he says as he squints at the ceiling, and i try not to skip on my way down the hall to the bathroom.
as i do, i hear his rumbling complaints bounce off the walls around me. the way my heart is thudding makes both ears strain for it, seeking it out.
"you keep calling it D-Day like that means something. but do i say no? of course not. why would i..."
i'm glad he can't see the smile on my face as i shut the door behind me. one deep, calm breath and my heartbeat settles back to normal.
     yoongi likes jasmine, tobacco and cedarwood. he's got those aroma reed incense jar things in every room. i've learned that he sticks with jasmine when he's moody, and that cedarwood is reserved for very good days. tobacco's kind of a mixed bag though. like, one day he was really dedicated to making a stew. as in, all day long - it was next level incredible though.
on another tobacco day, he got himself into a funky mood from reading too many crime novels. i know we both wound up believing that we were actually figuring out an unsolved case but, that was a sleep-deprived 5am belief.
     anyways, today it's jasmine.
i wiggle into the baggy suit and place the bowler hat on top of my head. it's so big that i can only see the reflection of my chin when i look in the mirror. it's always soft lighting at yoongi's place. decorations? eh, he's made it look nice but it isn't a priority. harsh lighting though? it makes him so irritable that he called jungkook over one day to help him switch all of the lightbulbs out for ones labeled, "soft and gentle". the overhead light is never on in his apartment and despite the black wood accents, nothing looks lifeless or dark. instead, it's all just warm.
everything in his place is always warm.
     "what if we don't do this and we never speak of this again?" yoongi grumbles on the other side of the bathroom door and my fake mustache teeters as i fight off a grin.
     handlebar secured - i fling the door open, except, all i can see is a bit of yoongi's broad back as he hides behind the wall. a few steps to my right and just around the corner, i try to take a sneaky glimpse but our eyes meet directly. he frowns, rolls his in an exaggerated manner - and tries not to laugh. the hat is squishing his cheeks together in a way that makes me want to giggle just as much as it makes me want to bite them.
     "perhaps you do need a hat." i hold a hand over my mouth and duck my head away from his gaze.
     "are you...laughing at me?" he leans over to regain eye contact. if he's trying not to look amused, he isn't putting much effort into it.
     "nyope. no. i dunno what you're talkin' about." i twist my lips together, attempting to hold back my smile. then yoongi starts snaking his neck around, chasing my averting eyes with a side-smile sliding across his face.
     long, wide fingers stretch out and palm the top of my bowler hat.
"gimme a good one." he teases, then steers my head over to the bags and patiently waits for me to find him a better one.
i whip around with an oversized floppy sunhat in my hands.
"i think it's perfect." is all i can say.
unfortunately, i can't hide my beaming grin as i do.
yoongi scoffs and rips the hat out from my grip before ironically growling, "then put it on me."
it comes out deep enough that it hits the pit of my stomach.
he holds it hostage in front of his body, just in front of his hips - and watches me with such a probing curiosity, my cheeks feel like they're steaming.
every part of me vibrates as i reach for it. i don't know what's making me so nervous. it's just putting a hat on his head. my attempt to tease him comes out in a mumble, "what? you scared you won't look handsome?"
yoongi tilts his head, the inquisitive stare bearing down on me makes the dining room shrink - trapping both of us inside of it.
"do you think i'm handsome?" his tongue pokes out of his mouth and he exhales a laugh while i smack him on the shoulder with one of my suit sleeves.
"you know i do fucker." the words tumble out of me without permission and all i can do is hope that i said them fast enough, and incoherently enough, for him to not understand.
he chuckles and turns a shoulder in a half-assed move, avoiding my half-assed blows. then he adjusts the giant sunhat, two pouty lips grin at me from underneath its brim. as soon as the plastic pipe tucks between them he asks, "to the movies?"
i push down on the fake mustache tickling under my nose, "indubitably."
i don't need to think about how handsome yoongi is or why he asked what i think or how going to the movies alone together kinda feels like a date. even if we're dressed like...well, kinda like if Holmes was having a gardening day and Watson lost all of the suits that fit him.
as we tug on our shoes, yoongi loses it over the fact that i only remembered to bring ankle boots. one red pointed toe sticks out from beneath the suit's pant leg.
"so stylish." he muses.
i trip over my own feet and ignore that he says this, "gimme your shoulder please."
yoongi smirks but dips one shoulder down slightly so i can place a hand on it for balance. once the most frustrating shoes in the world have been put back on, he casually reaches up to weave his fingers through mine.
he doesn't say anything about it, just stealthily moves towards his front door so he can stick one eye against the peephole. holding my hand as he does.
"Watson," he loudly whispers back at me, "i think this is broken." and i tear my eyes away from our intertwined hands.
in just as loud of a whisper i shoot back, "or maybe nobody's outside and we should move Holmes."
my hand is squeezed in response and i know i should help with being a lookout but, the way our fingers look together is doing something to the inside of my brain. something that makes it hard to breathe.
was his hand always so big?
it's like our hands lock together at the knuckles.
like they've both finally slid into place.
hey yoongi, did you know we're holding hands?
were you aware? that you held my hand and also are now holding it?
the objects of my fascination yank out of view as yoongi hurries us through the door and down the hall.
"go, go, go." he repeats the words under his breath and the dampness of his palm makes his nervousness a bit more blatantly apparent.
i match his pace.
he does this funny thing whenever he gets speedy - both arms lift up to his sides like a professional power walker. except this time as he does it, he doesn't let go of my hand.
so we power walk to the elevator at the end of the hall, side by side. neither of us say a word, aside from his looping "go, go, go" until the metal doors before us ding and we make it safely inside.
unseen.
well, no.
     we see ourselves in the reflection of the elevator doors and neither of us can keep our eyes open as we're hit with continuous rolls of laughter.
the mood sobers once a second ding lets us know that we've made it down to the parking garage.
now it's my turn to lead.
ok, it would be my turn to lead except - the moment that we walk by yoongi's car - he halts.
"look. look how safe and inside and fast we could get there with this instead. we live in a modern world, not the 1800's or whatever." he bounces as he whines and it's so cute that i physically feel a scream bloom within my chest.
i try my absolute hardest to appear unmoved.
with a tug on his hand i let out an exasperated sigh, "Holmes is basically from the 1900's. which - mind you - we were born in. AND, how will we know that the disguises work if we don't put them to the test? hm?"
i can't decipher all of the emotions in yoongi's expression, amused appears to be one of them at least. the ghost scent of jasmine wafts under my nose as i gaze at him. a nervousness restlessly attempts to settle itself in my pulse.
then yoongi stops hiding.
both shoulders curve forward as he sinks in on himself. silver-grey hair hangs over his face while he stares at the ground.
"i miss bein' a person." the words are spoken to the asphalt beneath our feet, they come out a little bitterly.
"i can't do things that make me...relate to people anymore. i can't do things like, like people do - you know? no, you don't." yoongi answers his own question, then takes a deep breath before he continues.
"i think i feel like a person around you and i'm grateful, i hope that isn't doubted but - who i am now can't...be a person. all the time." one shoe scuffs against the floor. he's wearing his favorite comfy Vans.
i know he put them on so i wasn't alone in wearing goofy shoes but, he still pulls the look off.
he chews on the plastic pipe, looking lost in thought - and even that he pulls off well.
i can't think of anything that feels right to say and it's not an optimal method but, i open my mouth with the hope that something good comes out of it.
"you're right. that i don't know what it's like but - um, but that's why this plan is so potentially perfect! we're just pretending to be wonky Holmes and Watson, so it doesn't count as real people time. is that bad? well uh, we can have someone follow us? in case it backfires or something?" i feel my voice pitch up, what feels like, a few octaves as i finish speaking.
a gummy smile beams out from under his sunhat before he pats the hood of his car twice. a man in a suit and dark sunglasses pops up in the drivers seat, the sudden appearance makes me yelp.
with buckled knees i hiss out, "are you fuckin' kidding me yoongi? you couldn't just tell me he was coming?" my grip around his hand tightens and i cling around his bicep.
yoongi just shrugs, "eh, it seemed like an opportunity to get closer. c'mon Watson." and he strides forward, like the conversation never happened at all.
the black car behind us feels off putting at first, but pretty soon, we're so engrossed in the roles that i forget all about it.
yoongi really loves the pipe. he nibbles on it between speaking as we tuck behind a wall.
"the lady in the red hat seems like a clue," he softly murmurs, "like a clue to something...mysterious."
my eyes narrow, "please never become a detective."
"oh i'm sorry sidekick. did you say something? something that undermines your lead detective?" he bickers back with a wiggle of his head. we keep up the petty argument as we trail behind the lady in the red hat until she turns away from the path to the theater.
"ok, well. she's no longer a suspect for now." yoongi clears his throat and my chance to retort disappears as soon as he see's a small group of young adults walking ahead of us, towards the direction of the theater.
with an unexpected quickness, yoongi squats down behind a garbage can - holding our hands on top of his knee.
"i'm out. this is so fuckin' stupid. not elementary, dear Watson. the opposite of elementary." he says this urgently but doesn't budge.
"we are two talking chins. that's all the world can see Holmes, and all we need to do is get snacks. then we're in the dark. and i'm buying! you don't even need to talk to anyone! you can just, i dunno - hide behind me." i don't know why i'm whispering.
"oh sure, i'm letting you buy." is scoffed into my face and i'm reminded of the first time we were introduced properly.
i jolt to my feet with renewed stubbornness, "gimme your card then. cause you know what isn't super sneaky? hiding behind, maybe the only, public trash can in the area. let's go, let's go, let's go."
yoongi makes an assortment of disgruntled sounds but stands up and shuffles to stand behind me. my left arm folds behind my back because we both silently refuse to let go of the other's hand.
"it looks like you're holding me hostage." i murmur back to him as we approach the theater.
hard plastic presses against my lower back and, "pew pew." rumbles against my ear.
yoongi keeps speaking, "huh, it's emptier than i expected."
i twist around to give him an impish stare.
"movie theater's typically are on tuesday morning's." i mimic his deadpan delivery and get a snorted laugh out of him.
we shuffle towards the concession stand, yoongi jokingly asks for popcorn and dodges the elbow i jab back at him.
fried chicken, a cherry-coke slushie and a bag of sour candy successfully acquired, we find our way over to theater room three. yoongi holds the first in one hand (because, "i don't trust you with my chicken.") and i balance the other two. our held hands remain threaded together.
"you better not throw any of these at me." i frown, struggling to force the candy bag into a suit pocket.
"does my hand bein' sweaty bother you?" yoongi bluntly asks and i trip up the first step towards our seat. usually, he likes to be up in the back and in the corner - out of sight, where it's easy to slip in or out if necessary. today, i want him to experience the Best Seats. mid-way up, directly in the center. that isn't the point but it's all i can let myself think.
i only realize i've been staring at him instead of responding when he tries to unclasp our hands.
"it doesn't! it doesn't!" i panic and squeeze my fingers around him. even in the dark room and under cover of his sunhat, pouty lips twitch up into a smile.
"if anyone else comes and i hafta pee these 'Best Seats' automatically lose three points." he chuckles and steps ahead of me. as we trudge up the steps, the pre-show clips rolling on the big screen sound like they're incredibly far away.
"oh sure, i'd expect a full house at 9am." the snicker at my sarcasm brings an unwanted blush across my face. he leads us to our seats while i stare at the floor, red cheeks hiding beneath my bowler hat.
chicken secured, slushie in it's rightful cup holder - we plop into the cushioned seats with budding excitement. i bounce a bit in my chair as i ramble about the Experience of going to the movies until he unlinks our fingers. the palm of my hand feels unbearably empty without his pressing against it but he doesn't let it go, he keeps it on the top of his thigh - wiping the other off against his tweed trench-coat.
"you may not mind but i don't want you holdin' a sweaty hand all day." yoongi states calmly.
the notion that he imagines holding hands outside of this movie scheme makes me choke on spit and i whip the slushie out of its holder to suck down icy cherry-coke. a freezing burn brings sweet relief from whatever the hell is buzzing through my bloodstream.
"you're so considerate." the words come out of me a bit strangled and yoongi wraps a warm hand around my throat. he jerks his chin up so that the sunhat flops back a bit, with a knowing look and one lifted eyebrow. then he casually remarks - "look at what you just did, not considering you stresses me out. of course i mean it in a good way, shush. better now?"
i nod dumbly as the freezer burn subsides. grateful for him and his warmth, and for the darkness that blankets us - equally infuriated at the screen lights for shining directly on our rosy pink faces.
as yoongi opens his mouth to speak again, the lights all fade to black. a booming voice throughout the otherwise empty theater informs us the show is about to begin.
my fingers twitch against his thigh and i feel my wrist turn without me telling it to. long digits push through mine before they curl around the knuckles. out of the corner of my eye, i watch him relax and spread both legs wide.
in a hushed voice i ask him, "D-Day, good day?"
soft lips push against the tops of my fingers before something's flung into my hair with a snort.
"D-Day, very good day."
18 notes · View notes
cherrysurf · 1 day ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
try again (osamu miya x f!reader)
Prologue; the end of beginning
warnings: read at ur own risk, slightly ooc but for good plot purpose
Tumblr media
10 years and 6 months going strong with Osamu Miya. It started as a silly middle school relationship being first years growing up together, getting teased a picked on by friends, being at all his volleyball games until high school even talks about “middle school sweethearts”, “I want something like Yn and Osamu” floating around the people in school.
Life was beautiful, it was youthful, full of happiness and reasons to live for, people to die for, planning the future underneath the stars, the scent of oranges from the tree you two would lay under since your guys’ first year of high school that you had found on your walk home that now had your initials engraved in it signifying the ever lasting love you two believed you had.
“The soulmates” as you two would say, the smell of cigarettes that lingered and mixed with the oranges from the tree in high school due to the stress of finals, and the will to try something new and being cool, whatever that was for you. The giggles and soft kisses between conversations from two of you that stayed between each other and the urges to run away and start a small family, The lazily drunk make outs at parties. The rush and excitement from sneaking out just to see each other more, the family dinners you shared, the late night ramen texts, the secret sleepovers, the one time Atsumu actually caught you sleeping over. The jealousy from Atsumu because he didn’t find love quite like your guys’. Moving into college together with him helping you set up your dorm room, him sleeping and almost living in your dorm, The amazing food he made for you on your periods, or stuff he’d take you in between classes to try, The ideas he had for his own business, the thought of him proposing after college. It was all a fever dream…
“Are you seriously running away from all of this just because you think you can’t grow without me anymore?” you say screaming next to the orange tree where it was once filled with love, now with hurt, tears and pain.
“Yn, come on, we’re not fucking kids any more, I can’t keep wasting my time.” Osamu was exasperated, running his fingers through strands of hair in annoyance.
“So what, Was this was all some fucking pastime for you till you felt it was convenient to let go?” you yell, hitting his chest in a fit of rage.
“Back away from me Yn, I’m doing this for me,” He huffed, stepping back.
“Okay but what about us? You promised me,” you dropped to the grass in tears.
“That was years ago,” He crossed his arms and looked away while pausing. “I don’t have time for your pity party, Yn.”
“You’re a fucking joke Osamu,” you paused, eyes narrowing in anger, “I fucking hate you, for ruining all that we built.”
The palm of your hand met his face, his eyes widen in shock.
“I don’t understand why you can’t see that this is the only choice we fucking have! It doesn’t matter what you want, we’ll never grow if we stay together— I’LL never grow. I’ll be stuck chasing stupid dreams with you forever, I don’t want that, not any more, not ever.” Osamu spits out meaningless words, clutching onto his cheek as his heart raced in a flurry of rage.
“I hope this is worth it, I hope all this pain you're putting us through is fucking worth it. I’ll check out of this relationship as well. You’re not the only one that can turn heartless Osamu Miya,” you muttered while walking away from him, not bothering to spare him one final glance.
You left for college abroad after your second year of university in Japan. After you broke up with Osamu, you knew you needed to change your life and put as much distance between the two of you, for the sake of your mind and heart. You knew yourself, you knew that you’d fall back into whatever it was that you had with him, whether you were sober or not. For the first time, you needed to pick yourself, just how he did himself.
Tumblr media
taglist: @sahrii @dearru @gumims @angeleilee @istann @chloiyoomi
17 notes · View notes
astroyongie · 3 days ago
Note
Can I ask a head canon like, "How does it feels to be loved by Txt" please? like just how you believe it would emotionally feel to be loved by them
How Does It Feels To Be Loved By TXT
Tumblr media
Note: this is based my own readings and birth charts
Yeonjun
His love feels like a battlefield, every word that leaves his lips are like a sharpened razor, slicing through your heart from how deep his love is able to touch you. You would fall into his eyes, dark and unyielding, like sinking into a grave that holds every ounce of his fury. You see Yeonjun holds so much in him that his love feels just warm and dangerous. His anger, his disgust, his resentment, they all would bury you alive, yet you would cling to the sound of his name alone as if it could unearth you. Even as his love wounds you most of the time because he isn't the most kind of them, you would find yourself yearning for the fight, craving the pain that comes with being consumed by him.
Soobin
His love feels so passionate, so hot, like dancing on the edge of destruction, his eyes blazing like fire, pulling you closer to a flame of lust you cannot resist. His love feels like you are nothing but a fragile moth and he the inevitable pyre, and together, you ignite a chaotic love. Yet, there’s a patient violence in the way he resets your gentleness, sharpening his teeth against any of your desires. Love, it seems, is not enough when it comes at how it feels to be loved by Soobin, it demands choice, commitment, and sacrifice. What you’ve lost lingers like phantom pain, a glory you cannot reclaim. Still,one this is sure, is the his love feels like innocence is a treasure forever out of reach.
Beomgyu
His love feels like a tempestuous sea, a tide that drags you beneath the surface and washes you clean in the same breath. It is the ache of scars traced with meaning, a bittersweet reminder of what you once fought for. In his arms, history is buried deep, but its weight lingers and Beomgyu gives a type of love that you cannot forget. His high water meets all of your little hell, and for a fleeting moment, you would feel whole again, willing to smile through the agony, even when he is the one bringing it to you. Beomgyu know you can never truly be, but for now, you would hold your breath and let him drown you in a love that feels as good as it is a curse
Taehyun
His love feels like the cold steel of a blade, cutting deep but leaving behind a fire that refuses to die. Taehyun's love would takes aim at the tender places in your heart, shattering you piece by piece until you are raw, exposed, and aching for the sound of his voice. a curse, a battle cry, anything to prove that you are worth it, of his love. He makes you despise the yourself, tear the walls of your own soul, yet still, you would yearn for his arms that break you every once in a while. In the end, I’ll accept and forget, lying shattered by his side, because being his, even in ruin feels like purpose.
Kai
His love feels like a puzzle coming together, fleeting but perfect in its own clarity. In his eyes, you would find the missing pieces of yourself, the ones you have longed for in the silence. Kai's breath becomes your salvation, his name a prayer that spills from your lips in the quiet hours. He is more than belief, more than hope, he is the warmth that melts you skyward, lifting you beyond the fractures of your past. In his love, even for a moment, I you feel whole again.
17 notes · View notes
fullmetalpotterhead · 2 years ago
Note
Hey, I've read quite a few of your tcgf posts, and they're all so thought-provoking. So now I have to ask, what are your thoughts on HC's relationship with divinity? Like, we all know he descends basically immediately after he ascends, but I've seen that some people headcanon that he can still hear prayers because he does have worshipers, and the nature of descension is not particularly explicit in the novel. Ascension doesn't seem to be a voluntary process at all, and while it does imply that gods can choose to become fully mortal again, it seems odd to me that if they really could just "turn it off" - for lack of better phrasing - XL didn't do so at certain points, like when Ruoye was "born."
Sorry for the long-winded question! My brain's been stuck on this for a while.
Okay so spoilers for full novel and Fmph rambling below (glad you’ve been enjoying my rambles by the way!)
1- I do think HC can hear prayers, I also believe that’s separate from his ascension and descension? This is one of those points where I can really feel my lack of knowledge of Chinese folklore (for lack of a better term right now, I’m sleepy).
I have a very vague knowledge of Taoism having an idea about if you pray to something long enough you can kind of… create it? Like a thing will fill that energy space and start taking your prayers so be careful to actually dedicate your space so something nasty doesn’t take it kinda thing which carries over into various belief systems so I might be getting it confused but that sort of idea plus the ongoing “the people call me blank, so I am blank” that the book has going in the beginning had my understanding of how it worked being HC can hear prayers simply because enough people pray to him and he’s powerful enough. Also you can pray to your ancestors, why couldn’t you pray to some Ghost King if you wanted? Again, I feel like this is almost certainly leaning on some things that just come more obviously to the Chinese audience this novel was written for that I’m just lacking cultural understanding of there.
2- Yeah there does seem to be good indication gods can give up godhood! I’ve seen some argument about whether HC actually gave up godhood or just gave up HEAVEN but I tend to lean towards him giving up his godhood completely? More on that in second.
XL couldn’t have given up his godhood when Ruoye was born though, he didn’t have it. He was banished and forcibly stripped of his godhood, the reason he didn’t die is because JW gave him an immortal body completely separate from mortal-godhood dynamics.
Quote from chapter 181:
“Once banished to become a mortal, other than aging slower than normal humans, there weren’t many other privileges. However, when Jun Wu first fabricated Xie Lian’s cursed shackle, he still showed some mercy, and left him room for accommodations.
While this cursed shackle locked away his spiritual powers, it also sealed his age and flesh body at the same time, allowing him to neither age nor die. Furthermore, Jun Wu told him: if you manage to ascend again, then everything in your previous life shall be forgiven, and this thing will be removed.”
Which JW was almost definitely doing because he needed to torment XL in ways no mortal would be able to withstand in an effort to break him. So of course XL wouldn’t have any control over the shackle or the “gift” attached to it.
ANYWAYS you asked about HC’s feelings about divinity so back to the reason I tend to lean towards HC giving up not just Heaven but godhood when he jumped back down immediately after ascending.
Actually I guess for my thoughts I don’t necessarily require him to give up the intrinsic quality of godhood so much as I think he would not consider himself a god and I’m kind of equating those?
So because here’s the thing: XL is the only god to him. HC has met and fought many gods but to him, XL is The God. The man is inventing monotheism, love that for him, it’s very funny.
As a result of that though, I think HC wouldn’t see himself as a god even while doing godlike things? Which is a little bit I think he’s spent so many centuries playing into the dichotomy between Ghosts and Gods that others are pushing and he holds so little respect for the other “so called” gods that I just really don’t see him caring about his own potential divinity? I don’t think he’d be ashamed about it or anything, I just don’t think he finds it particularly noteworthy? He’s seen the other people who ascend, he’s not impressed. Being a Ghost has been more helpful to serving his god than the red tape in heaven could let him be.
Also while HC is worshipped and becomes someone you must worship with XL eventually post canon his root is decidedly ghost which might be sleepy nonsense but he’s just like. On purpose he’s the pinnacle of the Obsessed Female Ghost. On purpose he’s just so very full of longing and his fanatic devotion just means so much that godhood to him just would be XL so divinity is wonderful, god is what he lives for, but it’s not what he is. And I feel like part of the point of tgcf is there isn’t really the clear boundary between gods and ghosts that heaven wants to pretend there is?
That being said I really believe he has a very straightforward emotional energy towards his own godhood in the same way he has this straightforward emotional energy towards anyone besides XL’s godhood: he’s completely uninterested.
Divinity = Xie Lian
God = Xie Lian
Heaven = those annoying fuckers who didn’t deserve XL
Anyways post-canon I also think their auras rub off on each other so XL is a little ghostly (which… actually we know in canon that this part is true) and I think HC would eventually get a faint divine aura to him by proxy/prolonged contact. And possibly sex too I guess.
So yeah was that the answer to the question?
23 notes · View notes
good-beanswrites · 27 days ago
Note
john x fuuta ?👉👈 or 090309
I love the dynamic between them all, thank you for the request! I went with an earlier meeting for them (well, one of the first times Fuuta's aware of speaking with John, at least). As much as I joke about Fuuta being starstruck by his strength in the attack, I tried to take a more serious route for the "something to rely on" vibe.
John’s eyes flicked over Fuuta, sprawled out on his bedding and looking up expectantly.
“Man, you look like shit.”
Fuuta scowled deeper. “I asked for the reason you’re here in the middle of the fucking night, not your opinion.”
“That is the reason I came.”
Somehow, amid all the other things he had to worry about given the horror of the past few days and exile that followed, Mikoto had still found the time to lose sleep over Fuuta’s condition. John had always liked the guy, but he wasn’t in the business of watching over people he didn’t truly care about. He didn’t know what Mikoto saw in him to cause such an overreaction.
Though, with the futon dragged to the bars of the cell, and bathing him in the dim light of the guard’s tower, it was becoming clear that Mikoto’s concern was indeed warranted. Fuuta appeared deathly. The fresh injuries had been bandaged, but there were stains where blood was beginning to seep through. His eye – the one that had survived the ordeal – was bloodshot and rimmed with dark bags. His hair was as tangled as the rumpled hoodie it poked out of.
Fuuta was still staring in anticipation. It took John a moment to understand why. 
“You recognize me.”
“No shit. Mikoto came in here like a fumbling idiot earlier today. He wanted to make sure I was okay or whatever. Like I’d be okay after what happened!” He paused, a clanging from someone else’s cell briefly distracting him. “But you… the way you carry yourself… it’s different.”
“Not that different. I’m here for the same reason.”
The plan was simple. Once Fuuta slept, Mikoto would relax, and everyone would be happy. If it turned out to be his injuries keeping him awake, John didn’t mind crushing Fuuta’s pride and explaining his weakness to the doctor to get more painkillers. If it was noisy neighbors, he’d teach one of those girls a lesson the following day. If the problem was just plain insomnia, well, John’s swinging arm was still completely functional...
“I just want to make sure you’re sleeping.”
“Don’t tell me you’re as disgustingly sentimental as him.”
John’s expression twitched. He didn’t appreciate the condescension. That was Mikoto’s most admirable trait, after all – offering help to others even when he was falling apart himself. He was so selfless, so self-sacrificial. It was no wonder John felt compelled to do the same for him. But Fuuta…
“Ugh, he’s always trying to be buddy-buddy with everyone around here, it makes me sick. Nice words don’t do shit. Look where his friendship with Kotoko got him, eh? That’s what these fools still don’t understand – you need to face these things head-on.”
“Oi, don’t be hard on me just for caring.” He didn’t say it as any sort of gentle encouragement; it was a command, and Fuuta understood. He snapped his attention away from where he’d been peering around the bars. “The world needs more people with that kindness. That optimistic view of life, of others, no matter what – it’s why I’ll do everything I can to save me.”
Silence stretched after the intense comment. Fuuta was looking away again, and John couldn’t read him. When he did speak, his voice came out more defeated than expected.
“Tch. Well. Not all of us have that luxury.”
“Of what?”
“Of you.”
His eyebrows raised.
Cheeks reddening, Fuuta hurried to add, “I mean someone to have your back like that. I wish I could be half as relaxed as that, but I can’t afford to let my guard down. I need to be strong myself, I don’t have anyone else to take care of my problems for me.”
It hit him suddenly, that everything came down to that. Relief washed over him, now that a clear, easy, (and nonviolent) solution had presented itself.
“What if you did? I could take over your little sentry duty for the night.”
“W-what do you –?”
He gestured to where Fuuta was laying. “No need to play dumb. You’ve been keeping an eye on everything, even the other side of the guard’s tower. The sounds from around cell eight have caught your attention. You’re positioned so you can see cell six, but haven’t moved all the way over, because cell ten has easiest access from the right.”
“The others would say it’s pointless, or that they’re handling it. I’m not buying it, though. I don’t care if they say it’s crazy of me to do.”
“I think…” John’s posture softened. “I think it’s very selfless of you.”
He was constantly amazed at Fuuta’s tendency to react to everything as if it were some world-shattering statement just told to him.
“So?” He prodded before Fuuta’s expression could grow any more wide-eyed. “How about it?”
 “I mean… they told me about the attacks… what you did…”
John set his jaw. No matter how many times it had happened in the past few days, it still stung to see how quickly people turned against him because of the fight. He thought they all had come to terms with each other’s capabilities for violence, but as usual, the moment he showed his true face, the world turned against him.
Of course Fuuta could never relax knowing such a violent and unpredictable person was sitting right beside him through the night. It was a miracle he hadn’t panicked immediately at the sight of yet another cold, towering figure appearing at his door in the middle of the night.
John stretched his right arm across his chest. It looked like his original solution still stood. Fuuta said problems should be faced head-on. Surely he’d understand this was for his own good.
“…Yeah, okay.” Fuuta gave a decisive nod. He beckoned with a jerk of his head. “I trust you.”
“I –” John blinked. “What?”
“You understand me. You understand what it takes to be in a place like this.” His gaze flit away momentarily. “You’re incredibly strong. You’re prepared, and have good instincts, and your confidence is –" Noticing how intently John was listening, he interrupted himself to bark, “but don’t think I couldn’t handle this on my own! It’s only because you offered, and it’s a smart move. I’ll just sleep for a bit, we can take shifts. Wake me in three hours, okay?”
“Fine by me.” A little lying was definitely better than what else he’d had in mind.
Fuuta moved his futon over a few feet so John could settle into his carefully chosen spot on the ground. Everything was all set to begin keeping watch, until a new sound rose up to drown out the other noises in the panopticon – soft snoring from beside him.
He glanced over in disbelief at the instantaneous security Fuuta had sunk into. All the tension had melted away from his face and shoulders. He lay completely at peace.
John had achieved his goal. He should be celebrating. Instead, he couldn’t help heaving a heavy sigh.
How did he end up with two self-destructive idiots to watch over?
#milgram#john milgram#fuuta kajiyama#0309#030909#mikoto is mentioned to care deeply for fuuta but not tagging him#ive had this idea forever and it was so difficult putting it into a concise flow for some reason? so im super happy with how it came out!#originally i wanted actual dialogue about it being their first meeting but it took the focus too off topic#i imagine john has fronted before without anyone knowing he was watching and learning about them#fuuta would be freaking out about that being creepy and rude (isnt it polite to introduce yourself when you first meet someone?)#but john was glad for fuutas treatment back then#(and he also reminds fuuta that his own 'watching others from the safety of anonymity' habits werent that different...)#i know i wrote this as a change in johns mind about fuuta but i like the thought that he came in the first place because he already cared#then seeing how much fuuta trusts him (especially after everyone - including mikoto himself - turns against him) really makes him fall hard#also the fact that fuuta is the only one to see his strength as something helpful instead of scary#in my original draft john comes right at the curfew bell and locks himself into fuutas cell much to his dismay#but the cells locking got rid of the point of the fic lmao so fuuta had to be a little nicer in this version and let him stay willingly 😂#i liked the very purposeful show of trust though <3#i also love how much they relate to one another#john thinks fuuta has to deal with the same issues as him but also thinks he and mikoto are very similar in their care for others#mikoto thinks john and fuuta are similar in their approach to problems and communication and protection#meanwhile fuuta believes hes more like john when in reality hes more like mikoto - leading him to connect well with both#anyway sorry for rambling asdfsdf i hope you enjoyed! thanks for the ask!!#drabbles
22 notes · View notes
fionnaskyborn · 2 days ago
Text
People like this have made me terrified that I am mischaracterizing my favorite character by playing into his strengths and emphasizing them so much... That I'm making things "too anime", "too over-the-top", and by doing that straying away from the groundedness that made the character compelling in the first place... But I think it's better to be a fan who loves someone so much they're willing to step into goofy over-the-top showcases of strength and morals out of love than being a fake fan who only ever rags on what they proclaim is so dear to them. I dunno. I don't think I'm wrong in saying that. I'm hella insecure when it comes to my own writing, especially with this guy because I want to do him as much justice as I possibly can as a writer. But I have to convince myself that it's not too much.
#logs#it doesn't help that i've been exposed to a lot of bad writing and cynical critique in general‚ so i'm even more fearful...#but i think the cure for that is to just... read more‚ and read with an honest heart#i don't know... i feel like i have a lot of growth to do as a person‚ as a reader and writer before i can execute this to the level where it#can truly be considered a masterpiece. grounded‚ yet not so. over-the-top in every way while also providing meaningful critique and#commentary on the nature of humanity. gutwrenching dialogue packed neatly with the most insane displays of asskicking. commentary on how war#is cruel and bad and only sows misery contrasted with the coolest battle scenes you have ever seen. these are the essence of the things i#love‚ and i want to be able to channel that through my own writing as well. it's the only way to do justice to the source material‚ the only#way to truly pay a tribute to the things that i love.#now that i am free‚ i can finally become more cultured... read more books‚ watch more films‚ inhale old mecha anime... it's what i've always#dreamed of doing#i just need to undo the mental shackles of ''i cannot do this right now''... i can. i finally can. i just need to let my mind catch up to#that. give it a little push along the way#once that's done... the journey begins.#i anguish a lot over the fact that my writing is locked in a tomb for the next decade... but sometimes‚ like now‚ i think‚ hey‚ maybe that#isn't so bad. imagine how many movies you can watch in those ten years... good movies‚ bad ones‚ exceptional ones... i'll have grown so much#as a writer by that point in time because i'll have learned the ''how'' part of what i want to write. i have the ''what'' already‚ and a#general idea of ''how''‚ but... ten years from now‚ i'll be able to write everything in a way that truly makes my eyes shine#a rare moment of me being hopeful for the future... i cherish it as those don't last very long in my life. i more often tend to despair#(cursed be the chemical disbalance!)#but yeah. there is a lot to look forward to despite the hardships. sure it would've been nice to just... have it all here‚ but... that's not#the world i live in. and maybe this one isn't so bad‚ either.#i have my box of scraps. now i just need to make it out of the cave.#the deadliest type of man is one with motivation and a purpose. right?
7 notes · View notes
clits-and-clips · 9 months ago
Text
Since writing the affirmations and starting manifestation again, I've actually been in a much better headspace. It's crazy how things align, and you end up where you need to be, especially through pain
#txt#have been reading the affirmations every day twice a day sometimes#doing my intentions and manifesting what i wsnt#which is mainly independence#also a good relationship with my ex from here#mainly stuff for me tho#and the full moon on Wednesday which is in scorpio which is his sun sign#will be a big release and maybe i can let go a bit or a lot lol#i need to move on and focus on myself and what i want in life and doing it all on my own#with support obviously but ive never been fully independent and im so ready for the blessings and the open doors#i dont know if ill truly ever be over him but i have to try for my own sanity at this point#i dont want to manifest anything selfish like him coming back to me because it probably wont happen anyway lmao#i hope i dont sound crazy lmao but coming back into my spiritual journey is definitely what i need#connecting with myself and my purpose feels like the only thing i can do rn#have a driving lesson tomorrow but in all honesty i could just go do the test and pass cause ive been driving forever and im good at it#just need to practice certain things but im nearly there! so close i can feel it and see it#anyway i hope i can keep this energy up and continue to head in a positive direction because it feels really good#if i need to cry about him and the loss then i will but im not going to dwell on it too much#i just need to take it as a lesson and let it go :)#cause at the end of the day i really did lead myself here whether it was his choice to end it or not#blah
21 notes · View notes
abyssalpriest · 1 year ago
Text
God I could and should write a whole fucking book by the end of this life here on Lev and his symbols
ill write it then burn it before anyone else gets a copy. or i wont. im supposed to be helping him this incarnation here to get a better anchor in this plane so maybe it would help more than itd be weird - im just getting from him the energy of "yeah no people already effectively have these things, people on my plane already know me inside and out to an extensive degree, may as well have it here too" you know. fair
#~abyssal murmurs#ugh god i love his tone saying that tho. i kept trying to prod to see if it was a ''ugh yeah people know me inside and out and Yes Its#Invasive But -'' but no#oh my god man. his like energy towards his people is..... BEFORE I SAY THIS#I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW IM ANTI PROPAGANDA. the biggest reason i dont work with Lu and others is bc theres this tendency to#be like ''we're darkness but also light! we're teachers we're enlightened we're pure in our own way and the kings are here to#teach you how to empower yourselves and they love all worshipers and they reject all tyrannical authority and they are the good guys#against the chrxstian god who (insert specific atrocity that actually was committed by the kings not the 'chrxstian god' - and#''demons'' should KNOW that because it was AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE WAR so either theyre LYING orrrrr) and we're actually#really down to earth and more holy than anyone else bc we're enlightened - i mean uh uh no wait that contradicts us being#against the love and light style of enlightenment chasing'' like. i will tell you that my boss has massacred a lot of people i will tell yo#im anti monarchy and i dont believe that the kings' peoples are any better than 'angels' and i will tell you a lot of innocents on both#sides have been lost bc of royalty and rich families the kings are directly tied to#so i hope you know that when i say the way lev treats his people in his mind is..... holy shit#i pick apart everything he does. ive seen sides of him that are dark af (and i love him for them lmfao) but as soon as his people are#involved... have you ever been w someone getting hot and bothered and a kid walks in that you thought was sleeping and you just switch#completely into parent mode like. he'll have complex fictions w me helping me write stories about corrupt monarchies and shit#and then no. he is like. hes very good at mindset switching and going immediately into different faces but i swear#his ''i am a king and a king is a head of a mass of people - a king is a servant to his people'' mode is like. impenetrable#he is so. fucking intensely single-minded and trained to be a king unlike anyone else. anyway what was i talking about#OH YEAH. his tone w what i wrote in the post. was so switched into that mode of ''my viscera is theirs to eat as Im splayed on their table#and this is divine ruling. this is my purpose with them'' type shit. PURE thought. there is no other energy i can find in it other than#pure ''this is my job and i do it''. pure as in distilled. a pure tone like a sine wave played on a synth as opposed to a string plucked#leviathan //#ive. im nervous about saying the shit ive said here lmfao but ive had his OK before to say it ALSO. AS I SAID. theres no way his people#dont know the massacre was done by the kings lmfao. like. yall were involved. and also you all have to know that one of the#people that pretends to be the christian god is. two of the kings actually and since lev commonly appears to people and lets them#decide who he is bc hes never arsed making a show of Being Leviathan and whatnot im sure hes been called God plenty of times#too but like. cmon. I dont know who started the ''oh the uh the invading heaven and killing off half the population was the#chrxstian god'' rumour but i was first exposed to it through lu and (his wife) worshipers so yall get the blame - that said...
2 notes · View notes
pizzabookbuying · 2 years ago
Text
there are so many ‘best’ AUs and the ones I label as they best definitely change according to my mood but right now the BEST kind is the kind where the AU reveals that in different circumstances the two characters end up in completely opposite roles in their dynamic because the SOULMATISM of it all—the realization that these people respond EXACTLY the same way to things—THATS EVERYTHING TO ME RIGHT NOW
#OKAY YEAH THIS IS FUELED BY ME GETTING OBSESSED WITH THE PREMISE OF MY OWN WIP blablablah self obsorbed blablablah touch grass#DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE#the prev post about enemies who make each other who they are—YEAH I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID IT IMPACTED ME#BECAUSE THAT DYNAMIC IS SO GOOD#I’m obsessed with the character everyone sees as the darker one being CANONICALLY hopeful to a fault#being SO DRIVEN by the need to do good that it perhaps morally corrupts him beyond any return#and I’m OBSESSED with his counterpart being the OPPOSITE she said ‘yes I’m cynical what about it’ AND SHES SO RIGHT FOR THAT#and I’m OBSESSED with moving their interactions to a time BEFORE his hope was corrupted. BECause the thing is she can actually be#the very thing that turns his hope into reality. She just needs to STOP BEING SO CYNICAL#AND I LOVE THAT#Aleksander: canonically is fueled by his hope to build a sanctuary for those unprotected by society and those literally hunted for their#existence (canonicaly spends hundreds of years doing this)#Alina: canonically assumes the worst (yes she’s valid I’m not saying she’s not. she’s also just very oh no looky here another FUCKING THING#TO DEAL WITH) (at SEVENTEEN YEARS OF AGE)#and yes I know these two people are actually terrible for each other (specifically uhh aleksander is terrible for Alina) but the IDEA that#in different circumstances they wouldn’t be—#LET ME HAVE IT OKAY LET ME HAVE JT#it’s just funny that aleksander is like that because of the hundreds of years he spent learning that loss is inevitable and it might as well#serve a purpose#and Alina is like that because she’s had enough shit by age seventeen that she’s just gonna fuck shit up if one more thing goes wrong#also no in this Alina does not become a despot that’s not the point the point is she becomes incredibly world weary and apathetic while#aleksander is the one who is doing his damndest to help the world
2 notes · View notes
pagesofkenna · 8 months ago
Text
goodness gracious but Practice Sword is written in such a manic and aggressive way that if it's the only thing you read from me you probably wouldn't realize it's such a deviation and experiment in the style
1 note · View note
scentedpeachlandcreator · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡
Tumblr media
Note: this is not my post and it's blushydior's post that everyone been searching for, so i thought why not making it as a post,and blushy if you see this, please don't kill me i know you said that you'll change your post but you disappeared After that.
♡ table of contents:
1. the importance of making this post
2.my take on manifestation + the 3D
3. HOW I DID IT - my journey in 4 phases i went through that include my mindset changes up to the moment i got my desires 
4. your new rules & routine from this moment on
5. a note from me!
6. frequently asked questions: separated into topics regarding the 3D, self concept + miscellaneous questions to have you leaving this post stress free.
now let’s get into it. read every bit of this post “ ~ ୨୧ ♡ ·
Tumblr media
I. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THIS POST
i’ve been through it all. you can read my experiences from old life in the “my life before” section of my success story + here, here, here and here. this is my success story on how the law of assumption has changed my life. as you can see from the “how” section of the post, i had purposely left it short, sweet and simple to avoid people complicating the simplicity of the law of assumption. but as time went on, anons and other blogs made me realize that since people do tend to over-complicate the law, the need i felt to make an in-depth post on how i personally manifested through my hard circumstances grew strong.
my blog often highlights topics that pertain to mental health, so i want to make sure those who find themselves in the same situations as i once were feel seen, heard and loved. you are all so powerful, amazing and hold so much potential more than you know. with this post, i hope i am able to help you realize that fact to the best of my abilities.
𝐈𝐈. MY TAKE ON MANIFESTATION + THE 3D
something that you’ll see me say all the time is: “life is a blank canvas.” that’s because it truly is.
remember that you are working with the law of assumption. what you assume to be true, is true. nothing is set in stone unless you say it is. things have meaning only if you assign it one.
you are the sole creator of your life. you are the artist that controls the brush/pen, you control what goes on and off of this very malleable canvas we call life. you don’t have to do anything. therefore,
you don’t have to: affirm 24/7, be specific, word your affirmations correctly, listen to subliminals, ignore the 3D, be positive all the time, meditate, have high vibrations, script, visualize, do sats or lullaby, go into the void, affirm in the present tense, avoid the mirror, etc.
you can literally say a random word like “bonk” and if saying it means you have all your desires or money is constantly filling your bank account, then that’s what will happen!
“but what if my subconscious doesn’t know what it means?” your subconscious mind is literally you. it’s not some stranger separate from you. if you want a scene to play out a certain way on a specific date or a romantic partner with all the most perfect qualities even if you can’t name it all at the top of your head, your subconscious has your back with the details! you have your own back. don’t worry.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO IGNORE THE 3D.
read that again and again and again and again and-if your circumstances are quite literally in your face, how can you turn the other way and ignore it? you could if you wanted but you’ll only be doing more harm and we don’t want that, right?
“so then what do i do?” you KNOW it’s going to change. it’s challenging when you don’t fully believe the law to know it’s going to change, so for a start, tell yourself that this is not the end. why? because the moment you had a desire and claimed it as yours, it has already been set stone in the 4D so the 3D has no choice but to reflect it. this is your movie, you KNOW this is not the end. you are director and star of this movie! you control how it’s going to play out.
𝐈𝐈𝐈. HOW I DID IT - The 4 Phases (more so, 3)
PHASE 1:
i found out about manifestation from tiktok. from there i have tried scripting, law of attraction and had taken a liking into the craft. i tried it all until i found out about the law of assumption, sammy ingram and finally, tumblr.
PHASE 2:
upon finding out about loassumption tumblr, i had learned more and more about the law but as time went on, i had realized i had never really fully tried to apply the law. the idea just didn’t come about to apply it. as many others, i had overconsumed information, always wondering if i was doing it right, questioning the 3D,
so i took a break. upon discharge, i realized many things and decided to spend an extended amount of time alone, away from social media. i’m someone who values alone time as long as if it’s spent wisely.
during this time away from tumblr and sns platforms in general, constantly surrounded by other people’s takes, information, and opinions, i had learned so much about the law of assumption on my own! i went into the law of assumption with a fresh mind, actually applying the knowledge and overtime of affirming and persisting, i ACTUALLY understood the meaning behind “creation is finished. it is done.”
i’m advising you to step away from social media (that on it’s own has negative impacts) and be alone with your thoughts. i know your thoughts haven’t had it’s time to be alone because you’re most likely constantly seeking information to help you. and i don’t blame you. it’s just that, you are always bombarded by thoughts that aren’t your own, you barely give some time to yourself to think for yourself!
and if you can’t help but be on tumblr for other reasons than loassumption, unfollow blogs for the time being, scroll past informational posts to avoid second guessing your application. tell yourself that
YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT!
PHASE 3:
when it was time to apply the law, i simplified it. you choose what you desire, you affirm from your desire and persist. okay! got it. so that’s what i did. i affirmed whenever i thought about my desire, i kept saying that it is done! so in phase 2, i mentioned how i realized how creation was ACTUALLY done, right? before deciding to apply the law, i kept seeing posts saying that but i didn’t really fully understand it until the realization hit me during my time away from social media. (see? i love alone time. solitude is my bff) — here’s my breakdown for you:
once you decide a desire is yours to claim, THE SECOND you affirm that, in your head, imagination, your 4D, it is ALREADY yours. therefore, it has no choice to become physical reality. (this is why your subconscious only needs to hear things once in order for it to conform!)
it will always be yours for as long as you sustain that assumption (persist), it is yours! no matter what.
this is the meaning of “it is done.” it’s like telling a chef what dish you want, once they know what you want, they’ve got you covered. except that this chef is you. you know the details of your desire, you declare it’s going to conform instantly so why are you worrying? there is no need to worry.
informational post on the 4D + 3D here:
❝ If you judge after appearances, you will continue to be enslaved by the evidence of your senses. To break this hypnotic spell of the senses you are told, "Go within and shut the door,” The door of the senses must be tightly shut before your new claim can be honored .Instead of fighting against the evidence of the senses you claim yourself to be that which you desire to be. As your attention is placed on this claim, the doors of the senses automatically close against your former master (that which you were conscious of being). As you become lost in the feeling of being (that which you are now claiming to be true of yourself) the doors of the senses once more open, revealing your world to be the perfect expression of that which you are conscious of being. ❞
i kept time away from social media and being persistent really helped me be aware of my thoughts.
persistence has helped me:
be aware of thoughts that i wouldn’t have been able to catch before. for example, i was declaring that i have all of my desires and creation was done, but i found myself affirming “okay but where is it?” — this made me realize i was questioning my desires in my 3D even though i knew it was done in the 4D. (you don’t have to do this, you can imply your 3D conforms fast with whatever affs)
flip and interrupt my intrusive thoughts faster and faster the more i persisted. i hated my intrusive thoughts so much. like it was so annoying and hurtful. it was filled with replaying past scenarios that happened to me, things i wished had played out differently, just people who absolutely did not deserve the right to be occupying my mind and space! so i was grateful to learn that with persistence, i started to have less and less of those.
(see!! mental diet, persistence!! <3 this is how habits form and strengthen duhh. remember not to abandon common sense for the law)
AND THEN, PHASE 4:
i had entered sabbath, the state of the wish fulfilled, calm and relaxation that my desire has already manifested and there wasn’t nothing left for me to do other than persist. after so much persisting and saturating my mind with my affirmations, i reached being peace with my desires. i’m really glad i persisted. see how after persistence of assumptions, though false, will harden into fact? see how even your affirmations would feel “fake” at first but will soon feel natural to you? this means that i wasn’t questioning where it was, how long it was taking, etc. but this doesn’t mean i was ignoring my 3D. i saw it all but i knew it was going to change BECAUSE i felt peace in my inevitable desires.
then, i received my desires.
❝ I couldn’t possibly be worried about anything if I really believe that imagining creates reality. ❞
❝ When I speak of feeling I do not mean emotion, but acceptance of the fact that the desire is fulfilled. Feeling grateful, fulfilled, or thankful, it is easy to say, “Thank You,” “Isn’t it wonderful!” or “It is finished.” When you get into the state of thankfulness, you can either awaken knowing it is done, or fall asleep in the feeling of the wish fulfilled. ❞
𝐈𝐕. YOUR NEW RULES & ROUTINE
☆┆YOUR 3 NEW RULES ARE:
1, you have all your desires:
i have all of my desires.
creation is finished. it is done.
2. you manifest quickly and easily:
manifesting is always so easy and instant for me.
i always manifest within 2 days or less, the 3D conforms instantly.
the 3D instantly reflect my 4D.
the physical reality instantly reflects my 4D/imaginative reality.
3. you are okay because nothing can stop you from getting the inevitable:
everything is going to be okay because creation is done.
i am always aware of my thoughts. nothing can stop/get in the way of my desires.
no amount of intrusive thoughts, events and opinions of others have the power to stop my manifestations.
✉️: choose one affirmation from each list or make one of your own that makes you feel comfortable.
☆┆ROUTINE:
affirm on loop as an act of saturating your mind whenever you think of your desire until you feel satisfied,
in the morning, after you wake up: saturate your mind with affs.
read the manifesting vaunt below everyday (whenever you feel like it) — read it over and over again until you feel confident then go about your day!!
at night, before you sleep, affirm this:
“i kept all my thoughts in check today. i didn’t waver once. my mind is completely saturated with the new story.”
optional tip: if you want to saturate your mind even more as a start, you can set reminders with sticky notes around your space, have affs on your phone lock screen or wear a bracelet.
✉️ NOTE: soon enough, your mind will be saturated and you won’t need to do this anymore. this is just a start for those who battle intrusive thoughts!
let yourself feel any emotions that may come up because of your hard circumstances then once it’s out of your system, affirm your rules, especially rule #3!
do not consume any loassumption information if you know it will only cause you to second guess your ability. if you have the urge to ask a blog a question, try to make sense of what they will say and answer it yourself.
in times of doubt, remember that life is a blank canvas. your desire is set in stone, so your only task is to persist.
REASSURANCE VAUNT
creation is ACTUALLY finished. it is done. the second i claimed my desires as mine, it has already manifested itself in the 4D so it has no choice to present itself in the 3D! all i have to do is affirm and persist. i always have unwavering faith in my manifesting abilities and the law. i never fail. i am successful at every single thing i do. manifesting is so effortless. no amount of doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, intrusive thoughts or events can ever, and i mean EVER stop my manifestations. why? because i said so. this is MY life. i make the rules. so if i say i manifest easily, the 3D conforms instantly and that i have all of my desires, then it is a FACT. i’m literally unstoppable. everything i want is inevitable. my only task is to persist, sit back and relax as the 3D reflects my 4D. it all happens so fast, but what else do you expect from a master manifester like me?
SOMETHING TO NOTE:
most of the time, people think affirming on loop is saying it like a robot but what you don’t realize is that you’re affirming as if you’re reading a book. it’s not filled with enthusiasm but it’s not exactly monotone either. stop overthinking it. it’s like the voice you’re reading this post with. correct?
again, soon enough, your affirmations will feel natural and you won’t feel the need to affirm constantly. the routine above was given for those who battle intrusive thoughts, making your affirmations dominate to the point where you don’t waver.
QUOTES on STATES:
❝ I paid thirty dollars for my first suit. Today a suit will cost me $200.00, but regardless of the cost, when the suit is new I am aware of it. But let me wear it long enough for it to feel natural and I will no longer be conscious of it. The same is true for a state. You may desire the state of fame. If you will think you are famous and remain conscious of the state long enough to make it natural, as the thoughts flow from you they become a natural part of your body of beliefs, and the world will proclaim your fame. ❞
❝ I urge you to use your own wonderful creative power and deliberately move into the state of your choice. Make it now by occupying the state long enough so that it feels natural. Haven’t you had a suit of clothes that felt so new you were conscious of them every moment? I know when I bought my first suit I walked down Fifth Avenue thinking everyone I passed knew my suit was new. People passing paid no attention to me, but I was so aware, so conscious of my new suit. That’s exactly that happens when you move into a new state. If the state of affluence is new, you think everyone knows it, but no one knows or cares whether you are rich or poor, so walk in the state until it becomes natural. The moment the feeling is natural, wealth is yours! ❞
𝐕. ENDING NOTE
i love you. read that again. you can do it. read that again. i am so so so so proud of you. read that again! you are so strong, you have SOO much potential and power. it’s time for you to tap into it, angel. stop making excuses. stop telling yourself you can’t do it. stop the nonsense! you’ve dealt with your hard circumstances long enough, it’s time for you to turn to the person who can make that change (you) and make it happen. i’m really sorry you have to go through what you did. you certainly do not deserve the unkind treatment. give yourself a hug and tell yourself that this. is. it. you’re going to make the change. you know it and i do too. it’s possible. nothing is impossible for the person who believes! keep the faith in yourself. nothing can stop you.
it’s like those movies where the mc finds out they hold so much power. they doubt it because of the life they’ve had so far but once they give it a shot, they become the most powerful hero ever. you are that hero!!!
i love you and i am, again, giving you the biggestttt hug ever.
now, with that being said, @blushydior​ will no longer be taking asks regarding this topic. i’ve cleared most of the questions that could ever arise. you don’t need my guidance anymore after this post! im seeing you off now. i love you. stay safe. know that you’re loved and hold the power to change your life.
— kisses from bambi ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
ps. make sure you clicked the words that have links! <3 (the links are missing)
𝐕𝐈. FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Something you wish you could’ve told yourself before you manifested it all to make things easier for anyone struggling:
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
you guys are beating yourself up for something so simple. take a step back and realize that. you’re already dealing with such hard circumstances, so why are you literally degrading yourself for something so within your power and reach? tell yourself everything is going to be okay. you’re always doing your best. you deserve the WORLD.
I could write a whole novel, combine all the posts on tumblr teaching the law of assumption, and every helpful ask out there but at the end of the day, YOU are the only person who could change your life. YOU make the call. turn every doubtful question to a positive one, when in doubt, turn inwards toward the 4D and know that it is real. it is done the second you affirmed it so.
SPEND TIME ALONE.
i can NOT stress this enough. i didn’t include the details of my time alone in phase 2 for nothing. you’ll see that you can answer your own questions. you’ll catch the thoughts you missed because you have always been so adamant on getting answers to questions you already knew. take a deep breathe and stay firm.
SEE WHAT’LL HAPPEN IF YOU DON’T GIVE UP.
What did you affirm to get your dream life?
basically my affirmations i gave above and these. all i used were blanket affirmations.
What does persisting mean to you? What does persisting really feel like? Is it just like a mental diet? or what?
“persisting is sticking to what you want / the end no matter what you’re shown, told, and what you experience + picking yourself up after letting any negative emotions & thoughts pass by.” — blushydior from this ask here (sadly the link is missing:()
+ keeping your thoughts in line of the same category. to word this in a different way, i can affirm so many affirmations just as long as they mean the same thing to me!
“it also is a mental diet. we’re always persisting in something. it’s just a matter of what you’re persisting in. you either persist in your desire or negative/non-beneficial thought 24/7.”
“in your post about how you changed your life, you said you just affirmed and persisted. but from your other posts it seems like you read neville goddard books. so did you just affirm or did you do imaginal acts too? i get confused when people say “just affirm and persist” cause neville never said that.” (original ask here) (note from Eli: the link is missing).
“yes, i read his books and sometimes i would do imaginal acts but i would only do that bc it helped me get by my circumstances, yk? like if i was overwhelmed i would just daydream lol. its like how i read books to escape to another world. but i would say, affirming and persisting was what i focused more on.
i just used what worked for me and used his quotes as a reminder of the power of man. i didn’t want to bound myself to one’s teaching constantly worrying if im doing it “right” or not so instead, i went back to his quotes that consisted of telling me to persist, look inwards, finding confirmation in my imagination, etc whenever i needed a pick me up.
but correct me if i’m wrong, i’m pretty sure many of the success stories he shared consisted of people simply decreeing their desires and feeling the wish fulfilled simply by repetition and acceptance of their assumption.”
What is saturating your mind?
read about it here (the link is missing, but Basically it is repeating an affirmation every minute or hour until you feel fulfilled)
Do we have to believe our affirmations? Did you ever doubt the law in the process?
no, i did not believe my affirmations and YES of course i doubted the law but i kept persisting either way because what could i lose? and here i am.
Did you just affirm, persist, maintain a mental diet and that’s it? No SATS, going to the void, lullaby, repeating affirmations? Did you just got it sleep?
just affirming and persisting. sure, the occasional lullaby, i usually affirmed for 10 seconds max before i gave up. i couldn’t sleep without imagining some romantic scenario LOL #bambiexposed
How to deal with manipulation and narcissism?
remind yourself that you’re in advantage because you know about the law of assumption. life is a dream, you can literally have whatever you want just by affirming. if you know that, why allow yourself succumb to other people’s thoughts and beliefs? i couldn’t allow other people’s thoughts ruin my chance of living my dream life. the thought of it alone gave me the worst feeling.
How did you tackle the feelings of having no hope? + After being in the victim state for so long what did you do to get yourself out and actually stay out?
i persisted on loop whenever i doubted the law. i reminded myself that it doesn’t hurt to just be quiet, affirm and persist to live my dream life. just do it. you gain nothing from turning back to your old habits. see what’ll happen if you don’t give up. ❝ Do you always turn to your imagination and, no matter what happens, do you remain faithful to the state imagined? If you do, you have passed the test. But if every little rumor, doubt, or fear can move you around like a pawn on a chessboard, then you are not keeping the faith! ❞ ❝ Objects seem so independent of our perception of them that we incline to forget that they owe their origin to imagination.❞
What was the timeframe of when you got your desires?
about a week after deciding to be strict with self discipline, mind you, i was dealing with hard circumstances and intrusive thoughts for years. within this time span, i had entered sabbath so i immediately got my desires.
How did you kept a positive mindset when it looked like there was no movement?
refer back to phase 3
What was your affirming routine?
AT FIRST, when i started to get sick of overconsumption and not getting my desires, i knew my mind wasn’t saturated/my desires were not my dominant thoughts. so, i decided to be strict with myself. i reminded myself with pieces of paper in my room that said: ❝ PERSIST. new story only!❞ ❝ AFFIRM!❞
❝ 1.) the 3D conforms instantly.
2.) AFFIRM THE DESIRED
3.) BE LOT.❞
and taped them on the wall infront of my bed & one on my door so i can see it before i head out.
i didn’t need them anymore after a few days. (phase 3 & 4)
What did you do on all the days you woke up and things were still the same?
stop affirming that you don’t see results. i flipped the thought of “nothing’s changed.” to “i am in my desired reality, it is done.” and so on. be stern and remind yourself that you are in control. don’t fall prey to the 3D. turn inwards, find confirmation in the 4D. read quotes above.
How did you not react to the 3D?
i allowed myself to be angry. if i wanted to cry, i did. if i wanted to vent, i did. i ranted my feelings out in my head, aloud or in a journal then proceeded to go back to the new story after i cooled down.
But isn’t ranting “not letting the old story die out?”
you and i could rant until our minds are cleared, just as long as you flip my thoughts, you are on the right track. i ranted for 2% of my 24 hour days. the other 98% i was persisting in the fact that creation was done. as “time” went on, it began to feel more natural and i felt more at ease. i held onto that feeling because i knew this was when i would get my desires and i did. letting out and actually feeling your feelings is important. you’re not a robot.
Did you script how your life would be?
no.
(.𖥔 ݁ note from Eli: here's her post about her life before and After she changed it with LOA, anyway i wanted to make it in a post since the Google document can't let you make a copie of it and plus you can't take screenshots which René didn't allow)
Tumblr media
5K notes · View notes
cannibology · 4 months ago
Text
i think about this a lot. because the thing is, i don’t think either of them are truly to blame for the seals they broke. dean was tortured into submission and had no idea that there could be such massive consequences to giving in; sam was manipulated and deceived and honestly thought what he was doing would stop the apocalypse, not set it in stone. neither of them willingly chose to break a seal, and neither of them had any way of knowing what they were really doing. they were key pawns in a game they didn’t even realize was being played, not active participants in it. and i don’t think you can really blame someone for falling victim to that.
but if you are going to blame sam for his part in it, you also have to blame dean for his. either both of them are responsible for accidentally breaking the most important seals, or neither of them are.
didn't...didn't dean break the first seal? why is everyone on sam's case for being manipulated into killing lilith (which he thought was a good thing bc hey demon dead) but not on dean's case for torturing souls and LIKING it? protect sam winchester oml
#this plays into a lot of thoughts i have about their roles in the show#the way i see it sam is the protagonist from a plot perspective (at least at first)#but the narrative lives in dean’s head. the show is filtered through the lens of how he sees things#and the way the show just…forgets about dean’s role in breaking a seal once sam does the same#mirror’s dean’s tendency to latch onto other people’s wrongdoings to escape the guilt he feels about his own#if the story is told through dean’s eyes then of course sam is the only one we’re told to blame in the end#because dean himself is trying desperately to not think about what he did#and projecting those feelings onto sam is the only way he really knows how to do that#but just like dean never really believes it — guilt doesn’t go away just because you repress it and he still winds up hating himself#the show also never really believes it and that’s why the absence of blame placed on dean is so glaring if you’re paying attention#it feels wrong because it is wrong. we know that because the show knows that because dean knows that#but dean can’t admit it so the show can’t admit it#and that makes it easy to ignore. easy to not pay attention to. easy to just pay attention to sam instead#ofc i don’t think they did any of that on purpose#but it’s unintentionally a really interesting framing that exists throughout the entire show#not to mention sam being the plot protagonist also makes sense if the narrative lives in dean’s head#because sam is the most important character in dean’s life#and just like being a protagonist often means you pay for the spotlight by going through the most horrors#sam’s role as the most important person to dean often just causes him more pain#so yeah. in my mind sam is the main character of the story but dean is the one telling it#which actually also puts an interesting spin on the ending post-dean death#that sam’s life montage is all weird and blurry because it’s not real at all#it’s what dean imagines — maybe hopes — sam will have after he’s gone#the nice happy future for sam that he has to believe in so he can let go#ANYWAY i’ll shut up now. this show is eating my brain#spn posting
151 notes · View notes
gyaruhana · 11 days ago
Note
please do one where Thanos starts off as your unlikely ally in the games, protecting you from danger and helping you survive. Over time, his protectiveness becomes obsessive, and he begins eliminating anyone he sees as a threat to keeping you by his side even as you start to notice his unsettling behavior you can’t escape his grasp🙏
Thanos/Choi Su-Bong - yandere bf
Synopsis: In an attempt to escape from Thanos, you join a game promising money that will help you escape him. Unfortunately, he also seemed to have joined the game.
A/N: I may have combined this with two other requests bc they were all so similar so.. i hope thats okay !!
Warning: yandere thanos, choking
Tumblr media
If you had told your younger self you’d be in a game of death with 45.6 billion won up for grabs, you wouldn’t believe it. And yet, it’s true. After the tragedy that was Red Light, Green Light where many people met a rather unfortunate fate, you realized it’d be in your best interest to find someone you can trust and form an alliance with them.
Unfortunately for you, your boyfriend, Thanos, happened to also be a part of the games and had been watching you from a distance since he spotted you in the first game. You had originally wanted to get away from him because he was nothing but toxic though now it seems Thanos was one step ahead of you. That, or you just had terrible luck and Thanos decided to come here on his own accord. 
You didn't have time to think about it though because he suddenly got up and left his little group behind to make his way straight to you. He didn't seem happy at all. Perhaps it was because the last conversation you two had was an argument that was left off on a bad note. 
“Where have you been? Were you avoiding me? That makes me really fucking mad, you know,” he says as he grabs your wrist so you can't just walk away from him. Not like there was anywhere to go now. You were stuck with him here. 
“I was just taking some time for myself,” you respond defensively. You really just wanted to get away from him which is why you were here in the first place. Your original plan was to win some money and then disappear so you'd never have to deal with Thanos and his crazy behavior again. It was suffocating to be near him.
“Time for yourself? Don't fucking lie to me,” he says as he brings you closer to him. Nothing about him was gentle. Not his touches, or his kisses, or anything. “Well, you've had your time. You're not leaving my side now,” he continues as he looks down at you with a glare. He wasn't leaving any room for you to defy him. In his eyes, you belonged to him. You were his property and that meant you couldn't go rogue and do what you want. 
“You don't get a say in that,” you say as you lean back slightly to try to create some distance between the two of you. He lets out a bitter laugh before grabbing the back of your head, entangling his fingers in your hair, and forcing you closer. “Yes, I do. In case you forgot, you're stuck in a death game with me. Do you really think anyone else will help you? Nobody else here gives a fuck about you. The moment they get the chance, they'll let a bullet go through your head,” he says as he looks down at you with a slightly crazed look. 
You'd like to make a counter point but he’s not exactly wrong. A lot of the people here didn't seem to be trustworthy. Not like Thanos was any better but he probably wouldn't purposely kill you if you didn't piss him off, right? As much as you didn't want to, you realized you didn't have much choice. Unless you want to make an enemy right after the first game, Thanos was your only hope of surviving the rest of the games.
“That's better. Just keep your pretty lips shut and let me do the talking,” Thanos spoke with a slight smirk. You didn't respond to that knowing that you'd likely make some sarcastic quip that would piss him off if you did. You didn't have a choice this time. You couldn't run away to another country. You had to give in just this once.
You'd soon come to regret that decision. 
Somehow, Thanos had only gotten worse. He was always right next to you, no matter what. Either his hand would be over your shoulder or he'd have a tight grip on your waist. When it was lights out, he'd force you to sleep in the same bed as him. He'd kiss you all the time too but it was always rough with teeth clashing against each other and his tongue shoved down your throat.
You didn't notice it got worse until it was far too late. 
The moment of realization was during the third game. The game was called ‘mingle’ and it was simple enough. A number would be called out and you'd have 30 seconds to form a group of that number before getting inside one of the fifty rooms. 
Everyone stood on a circular platform in the center of the room and, per usual, Thanos had his arm over your shoulder, keeping you close to him as he spoke to his other stupid friend. The platform began to spin slowly as a childish song played. When the platform came to a sudden stop and a number was called out you formed a group and ran into a room. 
It was all going fine as you planned strategic moves and managed to keep on surviving. At least, it was going well. Until the last round when the number 2 was called. 
Thanos had immediately taken your wrist and dragged you towards a room, leaving behind his idiot friend without a second thought. However, the room was quickly stolen by two other players. You thought Thanos would just go to the next room over but that was not what happened.
Instead he pushed open the door and immediately grabbed one of the guys by their hair. He didn't think twice before he forced him out of the room. The other guy made an attempt to help but Thanos slammed him against the wall, his hand going around his throat as he choked him. The look in his eyes was far more scary than you remember. You could hardly process what was happening before the guy was punched in the face and pushed out of the room. 
Thanos pulled you in just before the door closed and locked. The sound of gunshots rang out soon after as Thanos huffed in annoyance. He looked guilt free despite the fact he was very much responsible for the death of two people. Actually, now that you really thought about it, he had killed other people in the previous games too.
Fuck. You were beginning to regret your choice of becoming his ally. You'd have much rather found someone else who could protect you from him because he was clearly fucking crazy. Crazier than he used to be. You thought he was just a manipulative, toxic bastard. You didn't think he'd be truly capable of murder. 
“Fucking dickheads,” Thanos mumbles under his breath with annoyance before glancing at your face. The corner of his lips quirked up when he noticed your expression and he wandered in front of you. “What? Something wrong?” He spoke though he already knew exactly what you were thinking.
“You killed those people,” you said as you looked up at him with a combination of fear and disbelief. He laughed in response before reaching a hand up and grabbing your face. “For you, baby. I fucking killed them for you,” he said as he looked down at you with a smirk. He found your expression such a turn-on really. The idea you were afraid of him meant you'd submit to him and that's all he wanted.
“You're fucking crazy.. crazier than I thought,” you spoke as you tried to step back and create some distance between the two of you. In response, he slammed you against the wall and got very close to you. 
“You're only just realizing this? You don't realize when I snapped the ankle of that bastard who looked at you so he'd lose? You didn't realize when our ‘friend’ and I returned but he had a bleeding nose?” He spoke as he got into your face with a dangerous grin. Well, when he said it like that, it became abundantly clear he had been killing and hurting people left and right since day one and all for you. You just had been too caught up in his behavior towards you that you didn't notice how he acted with others.
“Mm. Fuck, I love that look on your face. You're so afraid. Good. Because you're going to learn that you're mine forever, yeah?” He spoke as he brought a hand to your throat and squeezed it tightly. He let out a laugh as he choked you like it was the funniest thing in the world before slamming his lips to yours in a rough kiss. 
It was then you realized that, no matter how hard you tried to escape, you were his now - you always have been - and you will never taste freedom on your tongue again.
2K notes · View notes
wonsroyalty · 2 months ago
Text
forbidden, 박성훈
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing/warnings: 6.4k,, sunghoon x f!reader, brothers best friend, smut, jake and his sister are lowkey spoilt children!!
a/n: my og bias!!! i love sunghoon so so much omg, literally the prettiest boy ever.. hope i did him justice with this trope cause school is kicking my butt😓
masterlist
It wasn’t a secret to say that you wanted your brothers best friend.
You remember the day that Jake brought him over to your house. He was skinny and awkward looking but Jake, the ever-giving saviour, took him under his wing.
Sunghoon truly was innocent before he met Jake. Your brother corrupted him, turning him into a carbon copy of himself.
One time you asked him if he ever missed his old self and he responded harshly asking if you were crazy. Who knew that adopting a fuck boy persona could change a person so drastically..
Sunghoon was over at your house constantly, after school every day, every weekend, every holiday. You were convinced he didn’t ever spend a dinner at his own house.
At first it annoyed you because having two Jake’s at home wasn’t very appealing, but you knew that there was still a part of the old Sunghoon, deep, inside his now cold heart.
Your senior year was an absolute whirlwind, no annoying Jake to pester you and complain about your outfits, no claims that you were slutting yourself out to get the attention of his friends, no Sunghoon.
You didn’t really miss Jake’s presence while he was at university but you truly did miss Sunghoon.
Maybe that’s why you began to act out, screaming at him when he spilt milk down your top (you’d pushed him), calling him every name under the sun and ultimately teasing him relentlessly.
Jake pretended to be oblivious, ignoring your shouting as he focused on the video game in front of him.
He wanted to enjoy his summer, not deal with your new excessive stress reliever.
When he heard Sunghoon start screaming back at you, he got up with a loud groan.
He grabbed your arm, dragging you away from the kitchen.
“What the fuck are you doing?” he glared.
“He spilt milk onto-”
Jake was seething.
“Shut it.” he threatened. “Stop messing with Hoon and go clean up your mess. Dinner will be ready in 40.”
You grumbled under your breath as you stormed up the stairs.
Your parents were on yet another trip, claiming that they needed another break.
They had terrible timing as the day after they left, the shower in your en-suite broke.
You stomped your way over to the main bathroom on Jake’s floor, still jealous at the fact that they built the whole third floor for him and him only and that he had the shower with the best pressure.
Sulking, you peeled your clothes off and hopped into the shower, letting the hot water pierce your skin. Annoyed thoughts slowly trickled out as you scrubbed the milky scent away.
Not keeping track of time, you grabbed a fresh towel off Jake’s stack and wrapped your body.
As you opened the door, Sunghoon seemed to be reaching for the handle, about to open it.
“Sorry.” he grumbled. “I didn’t know you were in there.”
He waited expectantly for you to move out of the doorway but instead watched as you followed his every attempt to walk past you.
“I need to fucking pee, can you get out the way.” he groaned.
“Oh come onnnn, Sunghoon.” you shook your head. “Can’t I have a little fun?”
You dropped your towel at the last word, feigning shock at your actions.
Sunghoon immediately covered his eyes taking steps back.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!” he screamed blushing heavily.
“It was an accident!” you screamed back wrapping your body.
“Yn!” Jake shouts from downstairs.
You ran down the stairs, narrowly missing Jake as you launched yourself into your room and locked the door.
With a laugh you got dressed, calling your best friend as you dried your hair at the messy vanity in your room.
“So.. you’re telling me that you purposely let go of your towel to get a reaction out of him.” Sunoo laughed.
You hummed confidently.
“You’re such a freak, yn.”
“You say that like you don’t already know.” you joked.
“No trust me, I know.” he rolled his eyes.
Yes, you had slept with your best friend a few times, but he had a dick and you wanted experience, so who better to trust than him?
“Well I gotta go, Jakey said dinner would be ready agessss ago.” you laughed. “Bye Noo, love you.”
“Love you more.” he blew you a kiss before ending the call.
You calmly made your way to the dinning room and sat in the seat that Jake had set up for you.
“Ramen, again?” you groaned. “How did it take you so long to make this…?”
Jake shot a deadly glare your way.
“If you want to complain about my specialty why don’t you make dinner tomorrow.”
“Gladly.” you accepted.
Sunghoon was silent the whole time you all ate.
Jake waffled on to him but he kept his head down, feeling the pressure of your stare.
You raised a leg onto his, testing the waters before you raised your foot slowly, letting it make its way further up.
“I can’t do this!” he shouted grasping his head.
“Huh?” Jake was confused, scrambling after Sunghoon as he put his shoes on, your own legs following after him.
“Hoon! You said you were staying over!” he complained.
“Yeah, Hoon!” you mockingly whined.
Sunghoon shoved past you.
“I’ll be back tomorrow.”
He snatched his car keys from the living room table and slammed the door behind himself.
“Wonder why he’s in a fucking mood.” Jake grumbled.
“Let’s just go eat..” you pushed him back to the table, hearing Sunghoon speed away.
~
Sunghoon kept his promise, returning the next day bright and early but camped out in Jake’s room the whole day.
Ear on the door, you heard him say “So, is Yn gonna stay away…”
“You know,” Jake trailed off. “Heeseung was over the other day and she didn’t act like that so I just think she hates you.”
“There’s a big difference between hate and lust.” Sunghoon shook his head.
“Ew! That’s my sister.” Jake gagged. “I truly don’t think she wants to fuck you.”
You sighed at how wrong he was, mentally giving him points for the protective act.
“Right.” Sunghoon rolled his eyes. “Not like i’d want to hit anyways.”
“Doesn’t matter. She’s still off limits, don’t try it.” Jake firmly said.
You heard them both shift around and out of the fear of getting caught you knocked on the door.
Sunghoon opened it, glaring down at you.
“What do you want?”
Your palms pushed his chest away from your intended path. Taking note of the fact that he was a lot more muscular than the previous summer.
“I’m not here for you,” you grumbled.
Jake tilted his head as if to ask you what Sunghoon had already said.
“I’m going shopping, gonna take your car because I’m outta fuel.”
“You can’t just take my car, let’s take yours and fill it up.”
“Let’s..?” Sunghoon grumbled.
“I have no money.” you lied.
“How’d you already finish your allowance?” Jake shook his head. “What was the plan when paying for the shopping?”
“Dad’s card.”
Jake hesitated before agreeing. “We’re all going, in my car.”
“I’m driving!” you ran out of the room, Jake following behind you as you raced to get the keys.
Sunghoon was in agony, sulking in the back seat as you and Jake argued over what songs should be played next in the cue.
“Siri, play Stay by Rihanna please.” Jake grinned in satisfaction as the song blasted through his car.
“Fuck you, I want Sticky! Siri play Sticky by Tyler the Creator.” you grumbled as his assistant didn’t listen to your voice and instead chose to snatch his phone and type it in.
The anger in his gut was slowly building up.
“Fuck! Yn keep your eyes on the fucking road, it’s a green light!” He shouted.
Both you and Jake jumped in fear.
Fingers shifting gears and feet pushing down on the pedals, you whipped into shape at the awareness of your surroundings.
“Jeez, Hoon.” Jake checked his ears for blood.
The rest of the ride was absolute silent, bar the music playing, you and Jake didn’t dare to speak up.
Sunghoon jumped out at the first opportunity, storming away with the shopping list leaving the two of you to trail after him like kicked puppies.
“I’ll go get the steak, it’s best from the butchers market down the road.” Jake pulled you in before he left. “Don’t do anything i wouldn’t..”
You nodded, giving him the sweetest smile.
He shook his head, pulling you in for a hug. You felt his lips place a peck on the top of your head.
“No funny business.” he threatened Sunghoon who grumbled in response.
“Sooo…” you dragged on. “Now that Jake’s gone- Hey! Don’t walk away while I’m speaking to you!”
The rest of the shopping trip was quite annoying.
All of your attempts to have Sunghoon squirming failed, he was blatantly ignoring your presence.
“Uh.. what’s Foie Gras?”
You giggled at his butchered attempt of pronouncing the item.
“Fattened duck liver.”
He physically recoiled. “Why would anyone wanna eat that.. ew.”
“It’s good, you’ll like it.” you persisted, leading him towards the correct aisle. “Sunoo??”
Your best friend stopped looking for salmon and embraced your hug.
His hands gripped your waist as you snuggled into his neck.
“Here with your new boy toy?” he laughed, pulling away from the heat of your body.
“I’m Sunghoon, nice to meet you.” the older boy leaned over you, holding a hand out for Sunoo to shake.
Sunoo gripped it firmly, greeting him with a smug grin.
“I’ve heard about you.”
“Good things I hope..”
“Well…” Sunoo laughed.
You pulled their hands apart, choosing to get all up in Sunoo’s personal space.
“Noo, are you coming to Heeseung’s party?” you poked his toned chest.
“Of course,” he grabbed your finger, the end of his sentence coming out as a whisper. “Kazhua told me that Yujin’s gonna be there as his plus one.”
It had been 3 weeks since you stopped talking to your friend Yujin after finding out that she’d slept with Sunghoon despite knowing that you had dibs on him.
Your expression immediately turned sour, very close to acting on the urge to drop kick Sunghoon then and there.
He’d always claimed that you were too young for him, despite there only being a years difference between the two of you, but then went behind your back and slept with a friend of the same age.
“You should see the look on his face right now.” Sunoo leant in closer, “He’s seething watching me get close to you. What a freak.”
Mood dissipating as an idea popped into your head, you took Sunoo’s hands and placed them on your ass. Letting him shamelessly grope you in public.
“Don’t be mean, I like that he’s kinda desperate sometimes.” you laughed.
Sunghoon fought to rip his vision away from you and your friend, slowly gaining the courage to grab the Foie Gras before storming over to you and yanking you away from Sunoo.
“Hey! I didn’t even say bye.” you turned your body to wave at your friend in response to the wink he sent you.
You watched in bewilderment as Sunghoon slammed the basket items onto the conveyor belt, scaring the cashier.
He whipped his wallet out of his pocket and took a card out to pay.
“You don’t have to do that..” you looked away in embarrassment.
You knew that Sunghoon wasn’t as well off as people like you and Jake. Taking up a summer job just to keep up with the lifestyle.
“Well Jake took your dad’s card, so unless you want to return all this, i’ll pay.” he pressed his lips together tightly.
The lack of refusal on your part led him to tap his card onto the scanner.
Watching him wince at the high transaction go through had you clenching your thighs together. You couldn’t tell if the hormones rose from Sunoo or Sunghoon but you didn’t really care.
He bagged the shopping and walked off to the car, not even bothering to look back at you.
Once the bags were in the boot you stood outside waiting for Jake.
“Jake wouldn’t have liked that.”
“Jake or you?” you rolled your eyes. “Sunoo’s my best friend.”
“So you just let your best friends fondle your ass in public?” he scoffed in disbelief. “Hee was right, you really are a slut.”
“Excuse me!”
You both turned to see an elderly lady coming over.
“Please could you help me load my shopping into the taxi?” she pleaded.
“Of course!” you beamed pushing down your anger with a gentle laugh.
Your parents had raised you right in some ways.
Sunghoon followed after you, keeping himself surprisingly close to your moving figure.
You both helped the lady transfer her bags from the trolley to the car, nodding with respect at her praise.
“What a cute couple, thank you for helping me.” she beamed, waving as she got into the passenger seat.
One look at Sunghoon’s face and you could tell he was torn between annoyance and embarrassment.
“Where the fuck is Jake?”
As if on cue Jake showed up.
You wiped your thumb at the lip stain on his cheek.
“You’re so nasty.”
He held a finger up to his lips before wrapping one arm around Sunghoon and the other around you.
“Sooo what did I miss?”
~
“PartyNextDoor? Really?” Sunghoon muttered walking into the dimly lit kitchen. It was clear that you were trying to set the mood.
Jake had sent him to help you out of fear that you’d burn something while he stepped out to meet some girl.
“He makes good music.” you shrugged seemingly unaffected by the lewd lyrics. “Aren’t you here to help?”
He nodded.
“Load the pasta into the oven dish, please.” you instructed. “Then put cheese on top.”
Sunghoon picked up the cheese block.
“Where’s the cheese grater?”
You told him that you’d get it, purposely bending over in your miniskirt so that he’d get an eyeful of the way your panties clung to your puffy folds.
“Oh… got it.”
Turning around you saw that Sunghoon was clearly distressed, pinching the top of his nose bridge.
You passed the grater over, internally laughing at the way his body jolted when your hand brushed against his.
“Aww Hoonie..” you pouted. “Do you want my help?”
Not even waiting for a response, you squeezed his crotch.
A low groan left his throat watching you drop to your knees with his trousers and boxers.
You impatiently began to suck him off, revelling in the fact that his cock was just as pretty as him.
Sunghoon’s head fell back, knuckles paling at the pressure of him gripping the counter.
“That feels so good.” he praised.
Sunghoon was big, too big even.
You swirled your fist at the parts you couldn’t reach and suckled on his tip, the praise doing something to you. Spurring you on to make him feel good.
“You shouldn’t be doing this.” he moaned.
“But you like it.” you sat back onto your knees.
Something about the look in your eyes had him whimpering.
“I knew the old you was in there somewhere!” your smile widened as you took him into your mouth again.
“Why are you still on that?” he seethed.
His long fingers scratched at your scalp, guiding your head off and on him. The vibrations of your gags had his knees buckling.
Sunghoon experimentally pushed your head fully onto his length. Your nose begged for air, buried in his abdomen and your throat constricted, feeling his dick push past your uvula.
“Come on, yn.” he coaxed. “Take it all.”
Tears streamed down your face, drool seeping out of the corners of your mouth.
“I’m so close, keep your throat open.” he groaned.
“Yn!” Jake shouted from the front door.
You slid off Sunghoon with a cough, scrambling to grab a tissue, wiping your tears and drool away as he pulled up his pants before running to the downstairs bathroom.
“Is dinner ready?” Jake asked poking his head into the kitchen.
“Just need to put it in the oven.” you croaked out.
“Cool, gonna play a game! Send Hoon my way when he comes back..”
Dinner was just like the day before except this time you and Sunghoon both couldn’t make eye contact yet Jake still waffled on.
The air felt thick even for you, trying your hardest to give Jake enthusiastic answers so he wouldn’t suspect anything.
You jumped up and down in happiness when he told you that he would clean the dishes so you could relax, dashing up to your room to get rid of your own problem.
The next few hours passed by rapidly as you tried time and time again to get yourself off, still throbbing from having Sunghoon in your mouth, but nothing was working.
“Ugh!” a quiet groan left your throat.
Your hands reached for the phone on your bedside table immediately clicking on Sunoo’s contact.
You: fuck i’m so horny
You: tried getting off but it won’t work
Sunoo: u want me to come over ??
You contemplated taking up his offer.
You: that’d take too long
Sunoo: is park over ??
You: yh.. i uh kinda sucked him off earlier
Sunoo: yeah I am NOT contracting an std
You: fuck you 😭😭😭
Sunoo: js send him a nude?? or smth 🫡
You: UGH ILY THANKS
You slipped on a thin nightgown, purposely pushing your chest upwards letting your hardened nipples peek through, taking a picture then taking another of your dripping pussy.
Fingers swiftly moving onto his contact, you pressed on the chat.
[1,000 from yn💋]
Sunghoon: so you had money the whole time..
Yn: [2 pictures attached] can you help me…?
seen
Sunghoon wasted no time in stumbling over to your room. Sending explicit pictures to him while he was staying in your brothers room was very insane.
He didn’t even knock on the door, storming in them locking it quietly after he got in.
“You can’t keep doing this.” he shook his head.
You gave him the best innocent look you could muster.
“Do what? What did I do, Hoonie?”
He ran a hand down his face, immediately losing all composure.
“Stand up.” he demanded.
You complied immediately. Yes, Sunghoon had shown his anger through badly timed outbursts but in that moment he seemed furious.
“You can’t keep trying to make me jealous.” he continued. “You don’t understand!”
“But-”
“You’re all I can think about anymore. I wake up and you’re there, I go to sleep and you’re in my dreams!” he whisper shouted, clearly being tormented by his own thoughts. “Sometimes I just can’t stand you but being away from you was absolute hell for me. Trust me, I am also trying to understand how this shit happened.”
“Hoon-”
“Please.” he begged. “Please just let me finish.”
He took a step forward, cradling your head in his hands.
“For years, I have been infatuated with you. Forced to watch from a distance so that I wouldn’t lose you and Jake.” he shook his head. “There really isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you. I..”
You placed your hands on top of his significantly larger ones.
“Hoon, what are you trying to say?” you pushed.
He closed his eyes in pain.
“Don’t make me say it.” he frowned. “If I say it, we can’t go back to how we were.”
“I think I love you.” you teared up.
His head whipped up. “What?”
“Sunghoon, I love you.” you repeated firmly.
You���d always wanted Sunghoon since the day you laid eyes on him, but his words put a new perspective into your head. Is this why you were jealous of anyone that got close to him? Is it why you very harshly cut off Yujin? Is it why you felt butterflies every time he was around?
You had let your lust cloud your original feelings for Sunghoon, letting him believe that you only wanted him for sex because you knew that you could never have him romantically.
Sunghoon truly was out of your league. He was genuinely kind and a respcted person. He was everything that you couldn’t be. But none of that mattered when he pressed his lips against yours.
Pent up emotions of the past 10 years released as you kissed back just as passionately. Kissing Sunghoon with as much angst and love as he gave.
You never ever opened your eyes while kissing someone else, but you peeked an eye open to see what he looked like up close.
The perfect mole on his nose, his thick furrowed brows and perfect hair.
He kept his eyes closed for a few moments after you pulled away, taking in the feeling.
“Hoonie.” you called out. “I want you.”
Sunghoon complied, throwing you onto your bed and getting comfortable between your legs.
You attached your lips onto his as he rutted his hips against your warm heat.
From when you sucked him off earlier you already knew he was big, but feeling his so close had you gasping.
“Shhh.” he whispered. “Keep it quiet baby, we can’t let Jake hear.”
Shit. Jake. You hoped that he just wouldn’t wake up or else you’d both be out the house till your parents came back.
Your head bobbled in response.
“Sunghoon,” you moaned. “I don’t think I can wait any longer.”
Hearing you moan his name had his pushing a particularly harsh thrust into you.
“Fuck. Where do you keep the condoms?”
He got off you briefly, taking the time to strip himself as you bent to reach into your desk drawer.
You jolted forwards as his palm made contact with your ass, impatiently begging you to hurry up.
Letting him roll the plastic on while you stripped down had you feeling a little scared. Being naked under his watchful eye was nothing like sending him a nude because you had to witness his reaction firsthand.
“You’re so beautiful.” he repeated, kissing up and down your body.
“Sunghoon please.” you whined.
Pushing your legs into your body, he lined himself up.
“Tell me if it hurts and I’ll stop, okay.” he nodded.
You wrapped a leg around his waist, pushing him into you, drooling at the delicious stretch he gave you.
“Fuck, I can’t.” he groaned into your neck, lapping at your skin, flicking his tongue onto the bruises he formed. “Your legs are shaking so much.”
He wasn’t wrong, this was the fastest you’d ever come close to orgasming instantly and he hadn’t even moved yet.
Two thrusts in and you were clamping down on his dick, mouth covered to muffle the string of moans leaving your throat.
“Oh my, I’m cumming. Fuck.” Sunghoon twitched as he groaned lowly in your ear. “Pussy so good, tight, fuck! I’ve never come this fast.”
You didn’t know if he was talking out of his ass but the fact that he wasn’t ashamed did things to you.
Once you’d both recovered, you realised he was still fully hard and that turned you on even more.
“I want more.” you begged. “Please give me more.”
“Fuck. You’re so hot.” he groped at your chest. “Where do you want me?”
You guided him to lie down near your pillows, discarding the condom before hovering your dripping core over his length.
“I want you raw.” you whined. “I’m on the pill, please.”
Sunghoon closed his eyes again.
“Please.” he begged. “Shit. Never thought i’d hear you say that.”
Your legs burned as you sat down feeling the burn ten times more in the new position.
“You’re so big, so big Hoonie.” you babbled.
He could see that you were struggling to bounce yourself so he sat up and guided your hips in time with his thrusts.
“Do you feel me here, baby?” he pressed the spot where his tip poked into your your lower abdomen, both moaning at the feeling.
“Fuck, Sunghoon, I can’t.” you cried.
This time around it felt so much more intense, the intimacy was off the charts as he forced you to look into his eyes. Tears were fully streaming down your face at the overwhelming pleasure.
“Don’t you wanna make me proud?” he frowned. “Doesn’t my little slut want me to fill her up? Give her my baby?”
His words had you moaning louder and louder causing him to kiss away the noise.
He smacked your ass harshly.
“Quiet pretty, you don’t want Jake to hear? Do you?” he growled.
You shook your head, falling into his embrace.
The squelch of your juices and the repeated slam of the bed against the wall made you realise that Jake probably already knew what was going on.
Your teeth dug into Sunghoon’s shoulder determined to keep quiet.
“I’m so close..” you sobbed. “Please can I cum?”
He lifted your head, forcing you to look at him.
“Of course, baby.” he groaned. “Let go for me.”
Your eyes rolled back, body going limp as the orgasm ran through you.
Sunghoon came after a few thrusts, filling you up to the brim.
He rubbed your back, waiting for you to come back to him.
But you just couldn’t stop crying, tears rolling down his collarbone.
“Yn?” he inspected your face. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m sorry.” you sobbed, palms digging into your eyes. “Sorry that I was so mean to you just because I couldn’t control my feelings.”
He clicked his tongue, fingers tracing up and down your arms to soothe you.
“It’s not like I was an angel either.” he sighed. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you couldn’t come to me.”
His lips pressed a soft kiss to your temple, bringing you into his embrace.
“I love you, Yn.” he whispered. “I think I always have.”
You gripped onto him a little tighter at his words, checking to see if the moment was real.
“Can you stay here?” you looked up at him with glassy eyes. “Please. I know that Jake-”
“Yeah, of course.” he relaxed. “I’m not gonna leave you.”
~
Over the next few days, you and Sunghoon had fucked like rabbits. Nowhere was safe, not your dad’s office, the living room, dining room, Jake’s bathroom, the outdoor AND indoor pool, even Sunghoon’s own room had been attacked.
You’d almost been caught by Jake on a few occasions but he still seemed to be oblivious. He didn’t even notice when Sunghoon fingered you under the table at a very public restaurant.
Maybe he was pretending, you just didn’t care. Sunghoon was way too good to give up, even for your beloved brother.
Now it was the night of Heeseung’s birthday party.
You hadn’t seen Sunghoon since he left your room that morning to go shopping with Jake and you were experiencing withdrawals.
The two of you had spoken about boundaries, with the impending doom of your parents coming back the next day but for now you wanted to have him as much as you could.
“So, you’re telling me that while I was on the phone with you, he was quite literally eating your out?” Kazhua grimaced. “You two are perfect for each other.”
You laughed swatting at her arm in fake offence.
“Uh oh….” Sunoo pursed his lips.
The three of you looked in the direction he was facing, watching as Yujin felt up and down Sunghoon’s buff arms, Jake and Heeseung looking away awkwardly.
“Yn! Wait!” Kazhua called after you but you were already storming over.
You pushed Yujin out of the way causing her to stumble and placed yourself in front of Sunghoon.
“Woah, Yn..” Jake laughed.
“Can we talk?” you asked Sunghoon.
“Well.. I’m with my friends right now..”
You forcefully grabbed his arm, dragging him outside not stopping till you got to his car.
The cold summer breeze nipped your shoulders, sending shivers down your spine.
“What the fuck is your problem?” you seethed. “Letting her touch all up on you when you know how I feel!”
Sunghoon just leant forward and kissed you.
You pushed him away, flustered.
“Hey!” you whisper shouted. “What if Jake just came outside right now?!”
“Shhh..” he laughed. “Come here then.”
He pulled his keys out of his pocket, and got into the drivers seat, patting his lap.
If you had checked your surroundings before you hesitantly got in then you would’ve noticed Riki, your brothers minion, dashing off to find Jake.
Sunghoon pushed your hips down onto his so you could feel him.
“This is how you make me feel.” he moaned, brushing your hair out of your face.
“Fuck.” you moaned. “I’m still mad at you though.”
“Take it out on me, pretty.”
Your lips attacked his neck, leaving as many marks as possible, you wanted everyone to see that Sunghoon was clearly taken.
He pulled his dick out of his pants, rubbing it along the slick of your panties.
You smacked his hand away, pulled your panties to the side and suck down onto him by guiding yourself.
Tears threatened to spill, body already covered in a thin layer of sweat.
Sunghoon wrapped his arms around your waist, thrusting up into you rapidly.
The whole car shook while the windows fogged up.
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Hoonie, faster please!” you moaned.
“You think you can run your mouth whenever you feel like it, huh pretty?” he seemed to go even faster.
“I’m sorry!” you cried, nails digging into his biceps for stability.
“Oh you’re sorry? Prove it.” he growled. “Scream my name.”
“Hoon.” you whimpered. “That’s too risky.”
“Hm.. that’s not what I asked.” he rubbed circles on your clit, going even deeper than before. “I know that you can be louder than that.”
Having him hit the spot time and time again was sending you over the edge, you lost all composure the second he started sucking on your sweet spot.
“Sunghoon, fuck. Ah, right there! Fuck Daddy, please go faster!” you screamed out.
“Daddy, huh?” he groaned. “Gonna make you feel so good princess.”
You cried out as he continued to thrust into you at a faster pace, skin slapping erotically.
“I’m gonna-”
He told you it was okay to let go.
“Fuck, look how much you came for me.” he moaned in admiration, feeling true bliss as your essence leaked down to his balls. “So good for me, baby.”
Static filled your ears as he came inside you, waves of fire burining through your limbs.
Sunghoon’s head hit the headrest and you slumped onto his body.
His fingers scratched at your scalp soothing you.
“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked softly.
You nodded, too tired to respond.
“I need you to use your words, princess..”
Your lips pressed light kisses on his neck.
“I’d love to.” you sighed contentedly. “Can we stay like this for a bit?”
You felt him nod, head falling on top of yours.
Sleep almost overtook you but a knock on the window woke you right up.
“Sunghoooon.” Jake sang.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he whispered.
You immediately shot up, looking for something to cover your face.
“One second.” Sunghoon shouted back.
He gave you his jacket so that Jake wouldn’t notice your outfit as you slipped on a cap from the car and faced the other way.
“Can we talk through the window?” Sunghoon asked nervously.
“No…” Jake groaned. “Open it.”
Sunghoon reluctantly pushed the button, internally cursing when Jake claimed he’d been hit by a whiff of sex.
“What’s up, Jake. I’m kinda busy.”
“Yeah.. I can see.” he gestured towards you, believing that you were just some random Sunghoon decided to fuck. “Have you seen my sister?”
He felt you tense beneath him.
“Um.. no.” Sunghoon shrugged. “I haven’t seen your sister.”
Riki walked out from behind Jake.
“He’s lying!” Riki shook his head. “That’s your sister, right there!”
Jake looked at him in disbelief, finally noticing that the girls hair looked a lot like yours.
Sunghoon tried to swat his hand away when he reached in to take your hat but failed miserably.
“Oh my…” Jake stumbled back.
Your head slowly turned to face him, a sheepish smile on your face.
“Hey, Jakey.”
“Oh my.”
He tried to grab you and pull you out of the car but the loudest whine left your mouth.
“You’re balls deep in my SISTER?!” Jake was furious. “My sister? My little sister!”
The two of you flinched.
“Fucking hell, Sunghoon! You could’ve had anyone else! She’s off limits!” Jake frowned. “Forbidden even!”
“Jake you don’t need to-” you started.
“You shut it.” he shook his head. “Both of you get decent and get out.”
Sunghoon rolled the window up so you could have privacy as you lifted your body off his, cum spilling out while he cleaned you up.
“Riks you can go now.” Jake dismissed the boy who had a smirk on his face.
You and Sunghoon stood infront of Jake, silently taking the verbal beating.
“We’re going home now.”
“I’ll drop her off.” Sunghoon stood his ground.
You pleaded with your eyes to get Jake to agree.
“Fine.”
You couldn’t help but laugh on the drive home.
“That was seriously bad timing.” you sighed, spotting Jake outside the door of your house, waiting for you.
Sunghoon got out first, opening the door for you.
You pulled him in and kissed him goodbye, ignoring Jake’s gags in the background.
“Come over for dinner tomorrow.” you pleaded. “Mother wants you there. So do I.”
“Okay.. I’ll be there.” he smiled. “If Jake tries to hit me though, I am swinging back.”
Jake cleared his throat loudly.
You said your goodbyes to Sunghoon as he watched Jake wrap an arm around you and guide you into the house but not leaving before throwing a middle finger up at him.
“So unnecessary.” Sunghoon sighed.
~
Sunghoon and Jake didn’t even try to hide the fact that they were arguing.
When your dad had told them to set the table together they argued in hushed whispers, fighting over forks.
Even your eldest brother, Noah could tell that something was up, he’d come home and intended to stay for a week after not being around for a whole year.
“Sunghoon?” you mother asked plating up caviar. “Has your mother said yes to the trip?”
Sunghoon nodded in response.
Right the trip. Your parents announced that they were taking you all to Greece, Noah was just there for the free holiday.
“You’re a leech, get a job.” you poked at him.
“Med school is kicking my butt, and who’s gonna pass up a free holiday?” he shoved you back.
“Yn.. you don’t have a job yourself either..” your father teased.
“She doesn’t need a job, I’ve got her.” Sunghoon caressed your shoulder.
Jake began to hysterically gag.
“Stop being so dramatic.” you sneered, body relaxing as Sunghoon rested his palm on your knee.
Everything was going well, Jake and Sunghoon didn’t interact and your parents didn’t pick up on a thing.
Sunghoon tried Foie Gras, he didn’t like it and begged you to let him go to a fast food restaurant but other than that he was enjoying himself.
That was until Jake dropped his fork under the table and noticed how shamelessly close the two of you were under the table.
“Oh my I’m gonna throw up.” he cried out.
“What now, Jake?” Noah sighed.
Jake leaned over the table to whisper at you and Sunghoon.
“Footsies under the table is fucking disgusting.” he sneered.
“What are you talking about?” Sunghoon frowned.
“UGH!” Jake shouted.
“Jaeyun Sim.” you mother scolded. “Sit down.”
“Mumma, no!” he whined. “Those two were fucking behind my back!”
Your dad choked on his wine as you dropped his fork.
“I mean we all thought it was gonna happen soon..” Noah trailed off.
“What?” Sunghoon raised his eyebrows. “What do you mean by all?”
Your mother ran round to the other side of the table, pulling you and Sunghoon into a hug.
“Aww my baby is growing up!” she wailed. “Who better to bring into the family than Sunghoon!”
Your dad shook Sunghoon’s hand.
“Careful with that one.” he joked. “She’s a handful.”
“You’re supposed to be on MY side!” Jake glared. “I found out that my best friend is sleeping with-”
“Dating.” your boyfriend corrected.
“Ew!” Jake shivered. “My little sister, my baby sister who I tried SO hard to protect from the men of this world.”
“Even I don’t care this much, Jake?” Noah snickered.
Jake stormed off to his room and slammed the door.
Despite having ups and downs with your brother you truly did love him. Seeing how much he hated the situation made you feel sorry for your actions.
“He’ll come around.” your dad assured.
You waited until the table was cleared to go bring Jake the rest of his food.
“Can I come in?” you asked softly.
He grumbled.
His figure lay on his bed, playing catch with a ball.
“What do you want?” he mumbled.
You placed the food on his desk and sat next to him, ignoring how he aimed the ball at your head.
“Jakey.” you started. “Why are you so against me being with Sunghoon?”
He rolled his eyes.
“I knew him first.”
“Yeah but..” you had to take a deep breath to stop yourself from crying. “I just don’t want you to be mad at me.”
“I‘m not mad.”
“Right.” you pursed your lips together. “I just wanted you to know that I really do love Sunghoon and that he loves me and I just want us all to be happy..”
A tear slipped out of your eye.
He sighed.
“Yeah, I get that. It’s just..” he wiped the tears that ran down. “He’s my best friend and you’re my little sister, if anyone hurts you i’d naturally have to go after them.. I just can’t bring myself to do that to Sunghoon. I love you both too much..”
Now you were both crying.
“Why didn’t you just say that?” you laughed through your tears.
“I thought that if I delayed the conversation it wouldn’t have to happen.” he smiled sadly. “But i’m not mad, I really am happy for you.. change just isn’t my strong suit.”
“He isn’t lying.” Sunghoon laughed from the doorway. “He’s couldn’t sleep for two months when we first got to uni. Claimed it was nerves but I think he just missed you too much.”
You pulled Jake into a hug, both sobbing gently.
Jake grabbed Sunghoon, pulling him in.
“You’re both so emotional.” he whispered, letting you both cry on his shoulders.
“Yeah well, you have to deal with this forever because you’re not leaving now.” you cried.
“I wouldn’t even dare.” he smiled.
THE END.
1K notes · View notes