#let people be Friends...friendships are not lesser than partners or family

[gabessquishytum]

Okay we’ve had a very sad lack of pregnant Hob here lately so I must fill the gap with a silly idea!!! So imagine it takes Hob getting knocked up for Dream to realize he loves him. It’s in one of those in-between moments where Dream hasn’t been to the waking world in months, too busy rebuilding his crumbling kingdom to check in on his favorite mortal or nurture this strange sort of friendship they’ve started up after hundreds of years. But Dream thinks of him often, more often than he’s willing to admit. So often that the second he’s done cleaning up his kingdom he doesn’t waste a second before he’s materializing in front of the pub (their tavern, it’s always been theirs) and walking in

Hob seems fine at first. He’s sat down at the back of the pub in a booth up against the wall. He looks a little tired, hair a little longer, strands brushing up just at the tips of his shoulders, the rest of it up in a messy bun that’s half falling out. And Dream is immediately so taken with him as he always is, something warm and soft and secret beginning to bloom in his chest. And then Hob sees him, his smile doing a strange little wobbly crease before smoothing out into a too-tight smile, and he’s about to say something, something that looks important, but Dream is already rounding the table and he sees Hob’s obviously pregnant stomach resting in his lap, stretching out one of his silly professor sweaters—

Either trans Hob times or maybe a little fuckery from everyone’s favorite Endless, Desire. Maybe it’s a demonic curse, or a gift from a lesser god. Either way it doesn’t take long for Hob to explain himself when Dream’s soul has been shoved back into his body and he finally relents and sits down. Hob explains that yes, he’s fine; yes, he’s taking care of himself and sleeping well; yes, it’s twins, thanks for asking; no, the other parent isn’t in the picture. And Hob looks so sad when he says that last bit that it makes something stupid and protective swell up in Dream’s chest, the same sort of feeling he gets seeing empty bird nests and children’s nightmares. Dream can’t get the way Hob says I guess it’s just me out of his head for a long, long time

But most of all Dream can’t ever burn away the image of Hob standing up and pressing his hands to the soft small of his back and arching forward with a groan. And for the first time in almost a thousand years Dream imagines silk sheets and bodies in between them. Maybe his offer to help Hob out around the pub and at campus is more selfish than he lets on

Omg, Dream falling in love with Hob/realising that he's been in love with him for ages WHILE HES PREGNANT is so perfect for them <3

Once his pregnancy is out in the open, Hob begins to see quite a lot of his favourite dreamlord. He's a little hurt that Dream might be seeing him just out of pity, but in the end he's grateful to have a friend. And someone to carry his bag around campus. Dream follows him devotedly from lecture to lecture, brings him nutrious lunches, and dotes on him so much that people begin to assume that he must surely be the baby-daddy! And Hob, well... somewhere along the line he stops denying it. Its kinda nice to fantasise that Dream is the other parent of his children.

And Dream, who can naturally sense fantasies and daydreams without meaning to, has to stop his heart from trembling when he realises that Hob wants them to be a family. Not just friends, but partners and co-parents. If he keeps making the right moves, he might actually be able to have Hob?! It seems crazy that such little inconsequential things, like running him a nice soothing bath or organising the shifts at the New Inn, should be the foundation for one of Dream’s legendary cosmic love stories.

With his undeniably changed physique, Hob can't help but feel that he'd never be attractive to Dream. Not when he's so round and swollen and all kinds of weird things are going on in his body. He never dreamed that he'd go through the humiliation of peeing in front of his centennial stranger, but here he is! What he doesn't know is that Dream has never been so aesthetically attracted to anyone. When he sees Hob sleeping on his side with his t-shirt riding up over his belly, Dream nearly melts into a puddle. He just wants to hold, touch, love and worship his body.

Thank goodness they get their shit together around the time Hob hits his third trimester, so he can get those life-saving pregnancy orgasms. He still can't quite believe that his massive belly, messy hair and eye bags were what attracted Dream to him....... but he's never going to complain. His twins are going to be luckiest babies in the whole damn multiverse.

[nicoartpage]

Freelancer RedactedVerse

(Questions from @mr-laveau - LaVeau-gue)

What’s your listener’s name and nickname?

Name: Parker Woods Nickname: Freelancer/Deviant/Voyeur/Silly

What’s their backstory?

Their family work as rangers at FishLake National Forest, Utah. Living in Fillmore, for quick entry to the forest. They grew up learning the way of the land and each part of it; they can navigate the area if they got lost. Once their powers manifested their parents were very shocked, they didn’t understand what was going on with their child so they kept away from them. (Note: their powers did appear at the age of 14 - 15 but they were very weak then. Once reaching later teens to early 20s, they started to become more unstable and they fully got out of control at 25 - 26).

Freelancer decided to go out into the forest when their powers were out of control. One night, it became too unbearable that they began to have a panic attack and that is when Caelum first appeared to them.

Caelum told them about D.A.M.N. Uni to which they decided to go there. They told their parents they are leaving. From that point we are at Freelancer Season One.

What’s the desired aesthetic of your listener character?

(Drawing is made by LittleLuxray)

What’s your listener’s gender presentation like?

Non-Binary (They/Them)

What’s your listener’s ethnicity?

Hispanic/Mixed race.

Mexican + Austrian - Grandpa from Mexico & Grandma from Austria

What’s your listener’s age?

28 years old

What’s your listener’s body type/build?

Slightly built but does have a little chub around stomach area. They do go to the gym three to four times a week, just so they don’t feel like they haven’t done enough exercise that week.

What’s your listener’s star sign?

Scorpio - Birthday is 31/9/1996

What are your listener’s most important relationships and who are they connected to?

Caelum - He is like a little brother to them and they’ve grown to have a very strong friendship. Even when Freelancer gets weird looks from others when talking to him in public, they shrug it off and only care about him in those moments.

Gavin - He has also been a very strong relationship for Parker, probably one of the best people they’ve had a romantic relationship with. They care a lot for each other and even when Caelum is around they are like two parents caring for their child.

Damien, Huxley, Lasko + Coworker - It did take them a while for their friendship with these lot to get to the full ‘trust’ level, but once spending more time they have grown to care for them and Lasko also having family unempowered, he has also become a sibling figure for Parker.

Fredrick - their Uncle. He was a big role model when growing up and is the only one they stay in contact with as he is fine with their powers.

What’s your listener’s hobbies/interests?

Hobbies: Reading, Bowling, Training with Damien, Hiking, Watching storms

Interests: Arcade games, foraging, forest creatures

What Audio RP series are they from?

Redacted Audio’s D.A.M.N. Storyline - Freelancer Season 1, 2, 3 + Gavin’s playlist + Caelum’s playlist + Kody’s playlist + Huxley, Damien, Lasko’s playlists

What kind of lover are they to their partner/what kind of friend are they?

Lover - Passionate but does let boundaries be known now after the incident with Kody. Very much protective as well and will do anything for their partner, whenever they need anything they’ll be there.

Friend - Cares sometimes a bit too much and thinks their problems are lesser than their friends. They are protective but also become care free around their friends, feeling very relaxed around them to the same point as family, once getting to the full trust level.

What is something/are somethings that your listener values?

Trust, family/friends, support, boundaries.

Pick a song that you think represents your listener.

Inertia - AJR

It’s Not A Game/It’s Just A Ride - Ride the Cyclone the Musical

What’s the inspiration behind your listener’s design?

Freelancer is inspired by my love of the woods, some aspects of myself and other info that was dotted through out the series.

Could you give me a vague concept of what your listener’s visual vibe is?

What are some extra tidbits you wanna tell me about your listener?

Their sass is very much like Captain Holt’s (Brooklyn Nine-Nine). Favourite musical is Ride the Cyclone, they find “Space Age Bachelor Man” hilarious but slightly reminds them of Gavin.

[chynandri]

Why Ibara and Hajime Were Destined to be Partners in a Variety Show

This post will be a bit different from my other ones as I think I've let this one sit for far too long and I just want to release it from the prison that is my drafts!!!! So there won't be a lot of citation, this will be more of a very long ramble/rant! I think I'm finally ready to (try to) articulate my thoughts on how Ibara and Hajime share many parallels, similarities, or just how they compare and contrast as characters!!

As you may know I am a big fan of Ibahaji as a relationship so - I can't guarantee an unbiased view on all this. I'd also say I'm more of an Ibara scholar than a Hajime scholar, but I have a PhD in neither.

I'm just very fascinated by the 'why' behind Bogie Time. I think Akira is talented in drawing connections between all 49 idols. And the way Ibara and Hajime become unlikely friends is a particularly strongly written connection to me.

Let's begin with: Hajime and Ibara's similarities as described in Bogie Time

To understand how profound their friendship is, we must look at their relationship development in Bogie Time.

At the start, Hajime and Ibara could not be more dissimilar.

Ibara is aloof but capable, older, and his usual disingenuous self. Hajime is younger and believes himself to be a bumbling little guy who's in the way. He immediately defers to Ibara on all matters but doesn't know what to make of him. Ibara is laughably confused by Hajime too, because he's literally too genuine of a person - a quality Ibara is not used to, sadly. However, as Ibara does something called 'relating to others' he realizes Hajime is not so far removed from his own world.

In a nice bonding moment halfway through the story that makes a point of sharing their similarities, Ibara and Hajime relate on looking up too much to others and feeling below them.

This is an incredibly important conversation as Ibara who usually doesn't open up about his feelings, does miraculously share why he's been so upset about the show to Hajime. Here marks a great turning point... Hajime can deeply relate to Ibara's aversion to humiliation, having experienced something so crushing as having no audience for Ra*bits debut. This was a formative moment for Hajime. I believe here Hajime sees himself in Ibara... and wants to help.

Another major point of similarity that the story pushes is that Hajime has a cunning side, one that is actually supported by how much Hajime pays attentions to people's feelings and personalities to a point where he can be too dependent on their approval - which is the opposite problem of Ibara, interestingly enough, who forgets to consider people as living sources of information rather than just data and tools.

This is the lesson Nagisa wanted him to learn from Bogie Time. Ibara hones Hajime's cunning so they can advance in the show, as his specialty lies in how to use things and people to their fullest. They're very complementary!

To summarize: the two main similarities Bogie Time wants you to focus on is that Ibara and Hajime both struggle with thinking themselves as lesser than others and that they are intelligent and cunning.

But what if there's other similarities to be found between them beyond Bogie Time?

Now I'll talk about: my interpretation of Ibara and Hajime's other similarities.

These are some scattered thoughts and things I noticed.

Ibara and Hajime's experiences with poverty While they do not discuss this as a similarity, Ibara and Hajime do both come from backgrounds of poverty or being impoverished.

Specifically, Ibara literally had nothing to his name during his childhood and was even more deprived comparably speaking. Ibara often describes himself as someone who crawled from the bottom of society. Hajime's family is poor, so Hajime often takes up part time jobs on campus and makes very simple meals. Or even eats just breadcrusts or grass. The one major point of difference is that Ibara inherited Godfather’s legacy - but despite that he still had to rebuild these assets from the ground up and fend for himself.

I think they could relate on the topic of survival. Even though Ibara's survival is sadly a more severe case, they both have the attitude of making do with what they have. Basically, they both did not have it easy.

As was revealed in Private Room, Ibara learned DIY when he was in the orphanage because he had no other form of entertainment. He's used to fixing and making his own things.

I recently read some old stories where Hajime makes up his own game of sliding on the wet floors of the school when it rains, because his family is too poor to afford many toys he's quite good at making up games to entertain his siblings.

Considering this I was like.... ohhhh... I've connected some dots. You could even say if anyone could understand Hajime's desire to have a partner who would have simple meals with him - it'd be Ibara who has a lot of opinions on eating sparingly. Although his is more motivated on survival and not allowing weak points in a moment of vulnerability, which then morphed into efficiency.

This follows into... Ibara and Hajime's social status

They both suffered from bullying and discrimination toward them at a young age.

Hajime was bullied and excluded by his classmates for being too slow and useless to them. Hajime would struggle for a long time with the inferiority complex this experience gave him, which was only expounded by the failure of Ra*bits debut.

Ibara is an orphan who was implied to be considered equivalent to garbage by society. He is especially motivated by dominating people who used to laugh at him and thus is so afraid of being the target of mockery in Bogie Time.

I think Ibara is a special case where he weaponizes the way society has told him ‘he’s nothing’ over and over again by purposefully poking others and making them uncomfortable by his self-deprecating statements. While I recognize he’s not totally self loathing I feel like there’s a grain of truth to his self deprecation, and is almost challenging people like Anzu to affirm what he has always known anyway so he can continue to justify his cynical worldview that keeps him safe - but it’s definitely an obstacle to having a more growth oriented mindset.

Meanwhile Hajime does all he can to be likeable and gain approval as a good child, and is extremely apologetic for his shortcomings in early stories. Interestingly, Ibara also has this behaviour but on a surface level as he only does it to manipulate people to being useful for him. Although Hajime does have influence because of all the genuine good favour he’s gained from acting this way. In recent stories however, he’s grown more assertive…

Such as this exchange Hajime and Ibara have during a Dream Live because Hajime scolds him for being openly self deprecating to the audience. Again I think this is another moment where Hajime sees himself in Ibara, especially by how he tells him he’s his fan too. Hajime’s self esteem has gotten better because he’s motivated by his friends and fans too, so it just seems to echo that.

Ibara and Hajime's roles in their units

(Using this cg as this section's image because in Happy Spring Hajime is so excited about visiting a nearby town for the first time for a job, he makes a notebook full of research about that town... which they're only visiting for a day or so. It really represents Hajime's fastidious nature and love of information.)

Personally I think Ibara and Hajime are quite similar in being the sensible and practical members of their units, especially when it comes to finances and their meticulous nature in preparing things. They also tend to lose sight of what’s in front of them when they’re too in their own heads. One of Ibara’s biggest pitfalls is getting hasty when he thinks everything is going according to his schemes and victory is within reach. While Hajime can take his daydreams and ideals too seriously, for example getting upset at Mitsuru for not bringing flowers to Madara’s sister as he got too obsessed with his own idea of them being in love in Ra*bits climax.

I also believe they both possess a role of drawing people into their respective units - where Ibara utilizes fanservice in a more mature way, Hajime’s charisma is through his expertise in being cute. Both of these are to an extent personas they use on stage to attract attention.

Ibara and Hajime's gender presentation

This point is directly addressed in Bogie Time. I find it interesting that Ibara’s own feminine features were emphasized - it subverts expectations a bit as Hajime is usually put into the ‘girl’ role. But at the end, it’s Ibara who’s essentially experiencing what Hajime experiences all the time… being perceived as a girl.

Previously, Ibara portrayed the Red Queen in Wonder Game - a female character and the outfit itself has what I arguably consider feminine elements such as the silhouette and high heels. And last year, Ibara was in the bride-inspired White Swan outfit - and in a pose that I personally think can be read as typically feminine (a pose you’d see a female gacha character have perhaps.) So Ibara is no stranger to feminine roles.

I didn’t expect Akira to make this a point of similarity between them, but it’s interesting that he played with this concept and made Ibara cross dressing a focal point of the story and artwork.

I believe that Ibara and Hajime both embrace it, along with Ibara learning from Hajime to not be embarrassed in general and that feminine Ibara cards exist in the first place - and Hajime’s own personal journey as he goes from disliking being seen as a girl, to being ok with it and finding ways to use it as an idol.

Other personality traits

I believe Ibara and Hajime were similarly both troublemakers when they were very young. They also both grew out of this behaviour in response to their environment.

Ibara had a wish to make his life have been worth something and needed to pull himself together for his newfound inheritance. The strict and unforgiving military lifestyle he once hated and criticized became very useful in his role as a producer and businessman.

While Hajime became more well behaved for the sake of being a good older brother and not causing more trouble for his parents. However this may be one of the reasons he has a bit of a complex over people perceiving him as too perfect - which he mentions to Ibara in Bogie Time, and seems to want to indulge in being a 'bad kid' sometimes (thinking of his halloween voice line).

From all this I'd like to conclude that the great amount of connections one can make between Ibara and Hajime is why Akira and his team of writers probably conceived of Bogie Time which is about their relationship at its core. There's a lot to work with, and because I consider this story as a major turning point in Ibara's character arc - this is probably one of the big reasons why they chose Hajime to be the character to spur the needed profound change in Ibara. … besides that Hajime and Ibara were both moderately popular at the time and cute I guess! If you made it all the way here - wow, congrats and thank you for reading!

[loveless-arobee]

On Queerplatonic Relationships and Amatonormativity

Or: some thoughts on QPRs and why I think that word should be taken away from some of you. Or: Why I can't with some parts of the online aromantic community. (Only some! Most of you are great.)

Disclaimer: If you use QPR to describe any of your relationships, this is not an attack on you, personally. I don't have anything against the concept of QPRs, nor against anyone who has this kind of relationship. If you are in a QPR or want one, all power to you!

These are also mostly just my rambly thoughts and not an insult or attack to anyone personally. It is, however, totally an attack on amatonormativity. But mostly just ranting. Have fun.

Great wall of text incoming. I have a lot of thoughts currently.

First, let's get our definition down: The "queer" in queerplatonic, or queer-platonic does not mean the same as "queer" for people in the LGBT+ community. It has the same root, the word for weird or outside of social norms, but it does not refer to the LGBT+ community. Another word for it is quasi-platonic, but queer-platonic is more widely known. As the root of the name implies, there is no real definition! Anything that is "weird for a platonic relationship", so to say, might be queerplatonic! Anything that falls outside the social norms for a friendship; which means what it means also changes based on the society around you! Yes, that can be a lot.

This means anyone can have a QPR; gay, straight, lesbian, bi, aro, allo, or ace. Anyone. An allo lesbian could be in a QPR with an allo gay man. Two straight guys could be in a QPR. A FWB-arrangement/sexual friendship could be called QPR. Hell, even a straight woman and a straight man can call their relationship a QPR.

Now that we know what a QPR is, I also want to make clear what QPRs are not!

QPRs are not deeper than "just" friendship. They are not somewhere between romantic relationships and friendship ( as in, "in the hierarchy of relationships", I'll get to that.) They are not "relationships, but for aros".

Now, the definition of amatonormativity for anyone who is new here: Amatonormativity is the assumption that all human beings pursue love or romance, especially by means of a monogamous long-term relationship; this is the shortest possible explanation, but it’ll be enough for now.

I want to start with the societal hierarchy of relationships. And that always starts with my hatred of the phrase "just friends"!

I absolutely hate this phrase. I despise it. In both directions: There is "People who are just friends wouldn't do that" (kiss or cuddle for example), or the opposite "They are just friends" (presumably because they don't do "that"). Or "they are more than friends".

Society has put relationships in a hierarchy: simplified, friends are at the bottom, family above them, and at the very top is the monogamous, romantic partner for whom you're supposed to put the first two behind. That is mostly known by people who started to look into amatonormativity.

Now, there are some people who think it is "dismanteling amatonormativity" to simply put another box into the pyramid, squish it in between friends and romantic partner, and label it "queerplatonic relationships", and that's it. They still say this type of relationship is "more than friendship".

But friends are not less than romantic or queerplatonic partners (or family, for that matter); and honestly whenever I hear the phrase "just friends", I assume the person who used it is just a horrible friend who does not at all care for their friends, and always puts them behind their romantic partner(s). Because this phrase does insinuate that friendship is worth less than other types of relationships.

To dismantle amatonormativity, we have to dismantle the idea that friends are "lesser than". And we have to dethrone romantic relationships. Not just add another layer to it.

But now, exept for the people who do what I stated above, what elso do queerplatonic relationships have to do with amatonormativity? Glad you asked!

I see a lot of aros taking the word "queerplatonic" and never deconstructing their own, internalized amatonormativity further. They'll say exactly the same things alloros say, just swaping (romantic) relationship/partner/lover for queerplatonic relationship/partner. I know people are in different stages of finding themselves and understanding amatonormativity, but it tires me out listening to them doing the exact same things that also harm them.

An example of this is aromantic people crying about how much they want a QPR, where to find a QPP, that they are so lonely and need a partner. I'm sorry to be so blunt, but do you not have any friends?

I know they do this because they want the closeness and love society has promised they'd find in a romantic relationship. But now that they've noticed they don't actually want this, they took the "next best thing" and ran with it.

But that is just amatonormativity. It should be questioned further. Why do you want a QPR so badly? Why is "just friends" not enough for you? What can you get out of a relationship that you couldn't also get from friends? What kind of assumptions are you making here?

Relationships, both queerplatonic and romantic, are not the be-all end-all of life. If you cannot be happy single, you will not be happy in a commited relationship of any kind. Sorry to say it so bluntly, but you really can't put your only source of happiness on one person. That is the whole essence of amatonormativity.

You know what the solution is? Find friends! Online or in real life, any maybe you'll find a QPR in there, too. You're not alone, and no matter what amatonormativity tells you, you don't need to be in a commited relationship of any kind to be deserving of whatever it is you want from a QPP! Be that love, intimacy, sex, commitment, a roommate, someone who'll raise a child with you or whatever. Because whatever you can get out of a romantic relationship or a queerplatonic relationship, you also can get out of friendship! Surprise! There are no borders between any of those. It's all just human connection, and whatever word you put on it, only the people inside the relationship can decide what their relationship entails, and what it doesn't!

Yes, that means two friends can totally raise a child together. They can even make that child together! There are no rules. Friends can marry, fuck, buy a house together, be committed to each other and share important life decisions. Romantic/queerplatonic partners could do any of those things, or nothing of it. All this is part of dismantling amatonormativity. Getting rid of all those borders and societal norms, stopping to police what people can or can’t do in what kind of relationships.

That was already a lot, but I'm not done yet.

Another thing I noticed in a-spec spaces is, well, the almost-forcing the QPR on other a-spec people. Not everyone wants a QPR, not every aromantic person is even partnering. I, for example, am completely non-partnering. This includes both romantic relationships and QPRs, and whatever other type of commited relationship you can think of. I only do friendship (and not even that really, but that's my extreme introversion, and has nothing to do with this text.)

There are more people like me out there. Acting like every aromantic person wants a QPR is actively erasing us from the aro-community, and in the end no different than alloros acting like every person should want a romantic relationship, and that aromantics are mentally ill for not wanting that. Y'all are doing the same thing just with different words.

It just feels very alienating, especially coming from my own community. Even more so when it’s happening in the same posts that also point out how bad amatonormativity is for everyone.

Idk, I just wish that would stop and people would just listen to more perspectives outside of their own.

Anyways, have a nice day. I’m done for now.

[oisharza]

Thoughts 04-04-2023

Well.. It’s a sad day. I wanted to feel happy lol. But guess that’s too much to ask. My father might get arrested tomorrow. I wanted to attend the exam in peace. But guess that’s not gonna happen. I’ll have to attend the exam alone, without a phone. I wonder what it’s like to go out without a phone and a real connection. When I’ll be alone on the streets, I’ll only be a person. No identity, no home, no help. Just me and my clothes, and some books perhaps. Many people live their lives with lesser things than this and they survive. They don’t have money nor an actual identity and the entire world is their home with practically no family or relatives. Yet they survive on their own. Did they choose a life like that? Of course not. I have no disability. I have an actual identity. I am accepted by the society. I am a member of it. And a valuable one at that. Sure, I might have lost a few friends here and there, but it ended on a mutual note. Fall outs happen all the time. Did I keep contact with the people from my school days? No. I willingly left the groups myself. And I was asked to join back, too. Although I was misunderstood and misjudged, I believe my ex friends are definitely nice people. And I am too. The information I shared with them won’t get leaked to other people or used against me. I won’t either. So it was pretty good. Besides, who says friendships have to last forever? We can expect it to last for a lifetime, but think about it this way, I didn’t necessarily lose them. We simply had different beliefs and views. And that’s okay. Also, I had good times with them when it lasted. So it’s all good. I can always go back and make new friends. This is really the bare minimum. That’s true. But I have the privilege to choose what I want to do and what I don’t want to do. Some people stay in toxic friendships just because they want to survive. No one’s able to pressure me into things. I’m simply living life. Isn’t that wonderful? It is. There are definitely a lot of obstacles though. But I believe in God. He has given me so much. I can enjoy normal days like this. I have people to complain to. I don’t have to force myself into friendships or relationships. And even at the age of 22, I don’t have to make money and my future is pretty secured. I won’t have to find a partner, my folks can look for it. Even if I don’t work a day in my life, I’ll still live a relatively good life. So I’m not scared. I don’t have any disabilities. Life sucks, a lot of bad things happened, but I can protect myself now. Even if my parents kick me out one day, I have a place to call home now. My university. I can always make money. And live on my own. I can just leave today and never come back. My bestfriend will definitely support me. So, I have no fear or worries. I have my life figured out. I don’t really need high CG, as I just want to work for the foreign ministry. With my ability I’m sure it can come true. So.. what was I saying? I was simply stating some facts. To make myself feel better. And it worked. I don’t feel pressure anymore. In fact, I feel better than ever. See? This is what I was talking about. Going alone tomorrow might have its benefits. So let’s just hope I’ll be able to finish my syllabus today and get some rest before going to uni. Anyways, good night to me~!

[dottyistired]

every narumitsu fic that cockblocks naru/mayo by having phoenix be like "she's like a sister to me" makes my heart die a little

you know it's very easy to have a character just say "i don't feel that way about them, they're a friend" right 😭

[tciddaemina]

one chance in a billion - or, my take on law, luffy, and romance

one of the things I love about law/luffy is that's its really a one chance in a billion, the stars aligned to make it happen sort of romance

look, I'll explain what I mean. many people headcanon luffy as ace (which yes, valid, we appreciate) but I almost tend to see it as him being so deep into demi that he's functionally ace instead. like, he has the capacity for romantic and sexual love, but it takes that one person in a million to make it happen, so much so that it doesn't even register in his mind at all 99.999% of the time. he has so much capacity to love, and loves so deeply - his crew, his family, his friends - and his love of them isnt any lesser for not being romantic, they are his whole world, as important to him as his own limbs. he loves people, but that love always stops at being platonic. and he's happy with that. hes not missing anything, he's not in want of romance, he's perfectly fulfilled and happy with his friendships as they are. they are enough. they are more than enough

when luffy falls in love, romantically in love, it only happens once. there is one chance for it, one single person in the whole planet he could love in that way, and once that space is filled then it's gone. he doesn't need romance, doesn't pine after wanting a partner. he is as happy without it as with it. there is literally a one in a billion chance that it could ever happen for him, and when that's done that's it

(and yes, for me law is that one in a billion. hes the one person, the one time luffy looks at someone and thinks huh, and if it doesn't work out then that's it. he loves law forever, and it doesn't matter if they never speak again, that one in a billion is gone)

law meanwhile, is more complicated. i don't headcanon him as ace or aromantic, but functionally he sort of exists in that space. this is not inherent to his nature, he can and does have and enjoy sex, but rather a conscious choice on his part and an artifact of his circumstances. he is jaded, and untrusting, and bitter, and cynical, and has lost too many people to ever want to make himself vulnerable again, to ever let himself trust or care enough about a person to give them that much influence or importance. it isn't fear, necessarily, and he isn't either secretly longing for someone or whatever - but it's a vulnerability he refuses to give up, and his experience and cynicism mean that he thinks of the vast majority of people poorly anyway. people are ugly and cruel and selfish, and law knows it.

so for law, it's not that he can't, it's that he won't. law doesn't fall in love. its not something that happens to him without his permission. he is too self controlled for it to be otherwise. if he ever grows to care for someone its because he made the conscious choice to let it happen, to take that step and let himself be vulnerable and care - which he will never do. (sex meanwhile, is something that is fine, but that he doesnt care enough about to seek out. basically, he can do it and like it, but he's also fine without it and can't really see the point of all the effort of it all)

for law to love, he has to let down his walls. he has to make the choice to let it happen, to make himself vulnerable, even if he ends up being burned. (and this isnt vulnerable like, what if they hurt me, it's vulnerable like, what if I decide to care about them and then they die). and here we come back to that one in a billion again, because whoever law loves has to be sort of person who could convince him that its worth it. that even if they die or something happens and he is once again left bleeding and alone in the aftermath, it was worth it. and for me, the only person who can do that is luffy. he steps through laws walls in a way literally no other person does, throws him of guard, off balance, makes him adapt and adjust and change, and ultimately makes him care despite himself. and law doesn't fall in love, but he looks at him and realizes that he could, he could, so easily, if only be let himself. and that is terrifying

luffy looks at law and realizes he wants him in a way he has never wanted someone else, and law looks at luffy and realizes that if he let himself love him, it would be worth it

they are the only one who could ever be it for each other, the stars aligning to being together two people who would otherwise be happy to live without love or romance forever. a one in a billion chance, which once gone, is gone forever.

[critical-thinking-is-mandatory]

Kagami's existence really highlights the narrative flaws of Adrien, when they're supposedly reflections. / Adrien had twenty friends in 2 episodes, while Kagami had one friend in 26 episodes. / Adrien shows no regret for placing his romantic desires over his friends, Kagami at least acknowledges Marinette's pain. / Adrien is actually aware of his bad behavior, Kagami interprets information incorrectly from apps & manga. / (TLDR: The writings somehow made Adrien's reflection more compelling.)

Yeah like, I've seen narrative foils and mirrors done really well (from AtLA there's Aang & Zuko, Sokka & Jet, Katara & Zuko, Katara & Azula, Katara & Aang and Sokka & Zuko) and foils can add so much to a narrative, add or highlight the depth and complexity of the characters and their dynamics.

And it's like, Kagami and Adrien are supposed to be reflections of each other, the same but different, just one fundamental difference. Except, lol, they're really not that similar.

There's the superficial similarities ofc, the wealthy single parent families, the lonely upbringing, the fencing...thing and the whole repression of their true desires but that's honestly where the similarities end. Kagami, as you said anon, is genuinely lonely. She doesn't even have a kwami to talk to and her only friend for the majority of her time is Adrien (and we all know how well Adrien treats his friends smh 🙄😒). And when Kagami finally makes a genuine friend, it's because Kagami did her damndest to do so! She's there trying out icebreaker questions and putting herself out of her comfort zone trying to make friends with Marinette (who at the time, Kagami believes is Adrien's preferred partner, ouch). Kagami is out here, working her ass off to get one (1) friend.

And Adrien? In Origins, his whole "goal" was to have friends his own age and that goal? Accomplished in one 2-parter episode. He shows up in Origins and the whole school is falling over themselves to get in his good-books and Adrien is perfectly happy to consider these people his friends smh.

and don't even get me started on how Adrien treats his "friends" 😒. Nino gets akumatised? Whatever lol, party time! Marinette's house is crushed by an akuma? Who cares! Ladybug didn't kiss him 🥺. Adrien's dating Kagami? Lol Ladybug has to love him now!

Like for crying out loud, Kagami actually feels bad over her decision to pursue Adrien even though she's friends with Marinette and Marinette wants him too. Adrien doesn't feel anything for his friends! At most he gets his knickers in a bunch about Marinette being happy in Malediktator, at Chloe's defense. The only time he cared about Nino was in Animan *counts on fingers* THREE three seasons ago. Like???

One half of this "mirror" is an awkward, honest, caring, loving person who's reconciling their feelings with the way they were raised, trying to fit love and friendship into their competition mentality. And the other half is a fake, charming, liar, who cares about nothing more than himself and his own superiority over anyone he deems morally lesser.

Like hm. I mean, let's go over a good reflection, Aang and Katara.

They have a hell of a lot in common. They're both kind, deeply compassionate and caring kids. They're sweet and optimistic and they care so, so much. They have phenomenal power within their grasp and they use it for good. And, they are the survivors of genocide. Both regarded as the last of their kind. Aang, the last airbender, and Katara, the last waterbender in the Southern Water Tribe.

The key difference between the two, is that while Aang lost his people in the blink of an eye, and has known the full life and beauty and glory of his people, Katara has known nothing but loss her whole life and carries the weight of the past and the hopes of the future on her shoulders. It's the way sudden, very personal grief and generational trauma differs.

Wow that got deep. Anyway. The point is, Adrien and Kagami are not true reflections of each other. They're so, so different. And like, it could work, that's the worst part. They could both be kind, honest, awkward people, but the way people react to them could be different. Kagami is (maybe? idk) a famous child athlete and people find that intimidating. Adrien, is a famous child model, and people find that more, alluring, or perhaps, he's more of a celebrity so that people don't have that idea of boundaries toward him.

I mean, not necessarily a great example but there are definitely ways to make the pair reflections and for it to add to their characters.

[kinsey3furry300]

5 ships I hate, why I hate them, how to (kinda) fix them, the better ships you should be doing in that universe, and why you should ignore me and keep writing them if it makes you happy.

Note: this is done for amusement, please don’t be offended; I’m not attacking your ship, I’m just listing some ships I do not always care for, and how I think they could be improved, and maybe made brilliant, by clever writing.

In no particular order, and focusing on ships that often annoy me, with no attempt by me to say anything meaningful or popular about the current state of any particular fandom. I’m also a firm believer in the idea that there’s no such thing as a bad ship, only a badly executed ship, so my objections to these is less a dislike of shipping, or the paring, and more that they raise writing issues that I think are difficult to fix in a satisfying way. That’s why in a lot of the examples below I prefer AU ships to ones that try to messily work it into the cannon. Anyway, enjoy... I guess?

 Marco x / anyone (Animorphs)

Why I hate it: Animrophs is an intensely character-driven story, where the tension of each book comes from the conflicts, external and internal, that the five Animrophs (and Ax) face during a long, hard, traumatic war.  And while several of the character are paired off romantically, it’s always to emphasise character conflict over their different points of view. Jake and Cassie are a pair because Jake’s struggle with having to make hard, grey, morally ambiguous choices as leader is highlighted by Cassie’s burning need to make the right choice, the lesser evil, the choice that leaves some small shred of humanity and dignity and kindness left in this bleak world. Tobias and Rachel are a pair as their arcs deal with literal and figurative loss of humanity, as the slow accumulation of trauma over time turns these happy(ish), normal kids into psychologically ruined husks of their former selves and destroys them slowly, one fight at a time.

Marco’s arc, isn’t about either of these things: Marco’s arc, is about the bright, clear line between A and B, between problem and solution. Marco is a utilitarian, a pragmatist: his concern isn’t the burden of leadership, or the cost of the decision, but about how to put that all aside and make hard decisions that actually work regardless of cost. It’s not about what to do, the path is obvious: the bright, clear line of ruthless logic, but how to do it. His match, his counterpoint, the other character who’s all about the logic of taking awful decision in a way that actually works for the team, and his foil, his female counterpart in this, is not a romantic partner, but his mother: Visser one, making the exact same hard, difficulty ruthless decisions using logic and maths, but for the other side of this war. A romantic paring gets in the way of this arc because a partner doesn’t help him with that bright, clear line, and worse, any attempt to pair him of with either Rachel or Cassie breaks up not only a cannon paring, but their respective character arc.

How to (kinda) fix this: Marco’s arc is, at the end of the day, a trolly problem. So make sure whoever you ship him with is one of the people tied to the tracks. Introduce a character he crushes on, and then in the second act reveal that they are either a Controller, or in the family of a Controller or the proximity of the target of their next mission in a way that will make them collateral damage ,and let Marco struggle with what happens when that bright, clear logical line from A to B cuts through someone he actually loves; you know, like it did with his mother. See, even trying to fix this ship is weirdly Freudian.

The far better ship you should be doing: Ax x / EVERYONE. Ax in human form is described as a worryingly pretty, worryingly androgynous male of indeterminate race. He is a literally Bishonen alien hedonist with no familiarity with human senses, poor impulse control in human form, and no knowledge or understanding of human courtship rituals, and he can shape-shift, including into other members of the core team if needed to compel a mission, he calls Jake his prince,  and he is incredibly close to Tobias, the lonely outcast woobie that the LGBT fans adopted as their poster boy. Come on, the potential for shipping, both with wacky hijinks and sad, tragic star-crossed lovers’ trope is endless. Every line dedicated to Marco shipping is a line of text that could be dedicated to Ax trying to eat a Cinnabon erotically on his first date as a human and hulking out mid way because he forgot just how good they are. What could be better than him leaning into to erotically kiss a team-mate, and then fucking up due to his failure to understand human mouths, making weird mouth sounds, and then licking crumbs of the table in the middle of the mall, in front of the entire school, while his crush awkwardly tried to pretend this is normal? What’s wrong with you Marco-shipper people, do you hate fun?

 Riz/Tem (beastars) Why I hate this ship: Okay, just to quickly ask a question, to people who un-ironically like this as a serious ship and not a dark joke, just one little question: What’s wrong with you? I mean,are you okay? Keep taking the meds: the show is VERY clear on that point.

It’s like those people who say Joker X Harley Quinn is their ideal dark, edgy relationship: no it’s not, it’s abusive! Morticia x Gomez is dark and cool but CONSENTUAL and HEALTHY. This… this is a deeply imbalanced person murdering someone and telling themselves after that fact it was special and rare and magical. ITS HOMICIDE! And even if you write that out (and you shouldn’t, because that changes the character arc of every other major character) it’s still got more red flags that a soviet military parade. This is the botulinum of a toxic, one-sided teenage infatuation. Riz’s entire arc is about how he projects his thoughts and feelings about himself onto this idealised, made-up version of his and Tem’s relationship which, from Tem’s point of view, never existed. Riz never loved Tem: he loved the idea of Tem, the idea that someone would see the real him, see his inner pain and accept him anyway, but he never once told Tem this. He didn’t warn him “Hey, because of you I don’t feel I need my meds any more, do you mind if I try not taking them and we can meet and talk about this in a safe, well-lit pace?” He’s not honest with Tem, and on top of that It doesn’t make sense from the point of view of either of the characters for them to be actually, romantically in love (although  they were clearly close friends), because it undermines and cheepens Riz desire to just be seen and accepted for his real self, and the cannon Tem X Els ship. It also doesn’t make sense from a story point of view: Riz is a shadow archetype for Legosi. He’s what Legosi would have become if someone hadn’t interrupted his attack on Haru. That’s why Legosi needs to beat Riz with his own hands: because then he’s beating the darker version of himself he’s been carrying with him, and he can finally move on with Haru guilt-free. Having Riz and Tem’s relationship actually be what Riz imagined it to be undoes that. It undoes Riz’s interesting, dark inner struggle between truth and fantasy, it turns Tem’s tragic, unsolved murder that sets the entire story in motion into a just sort of weird Romeo-and Juliet suicide. It’s ruins the character arc not only for Riz, but for Legosi, and also, by extension, Louis and Haru, because Legosi’s internal angst over whether or not herbivores and carnivores can have a relationship as true friends needs this example of a tragic, flawed, toxic, failed friendship to bounce off of.

How it could (sort of) work: an AU where Riz’s attack on Tem is interrupted and Tem lives with a slight arm injury, and doesn’t tell anyone out of his complex feelings for Riz. Meanwhile, that bunny girl from the gardening club had been brutally devoured and Rz and/or Tem are so horrified with how close this was to their own near-miss, they start to investigate the murder, and in doing so get caught up in Louis’ inner struggle. Because that’s how the story needs to work, it’s about duality and struggle: and if Riz takes Legosi’s role, and by dating a herbivore he de facto takes the role, so Legosi must take Riz’s. This could be a great AU!

The better ship you should be doing: Pina/Riz (with a dash of Pina x Els), no, seriously, I’m not shitposting. You want to give Riz a redemption arc with a cute woolly boy? How about a story where Pina, out of a need for closure about at happened to him, starts to visit Riz in jail and they talk, mockingly at first, confrontational at first, but later Pina slowly becoming more fascinated in Riz and Tem’s life and asking Riz for more and more detail until they both bond over their shared traumatic experiences and their sense of loss for Tem’s senseless death, Tem’s unfished life casting a shadow over both off them. Eventually, the two of them find, from Legosi who still has the diary, that Tem had planned out an elaborate and beautiful first date with Els that he never got to take her on, and Riz, guilt ridden and sad than Tem never got this beautiful moment, decides to ask Pina take her on that date for Tem, with Riz coaching him by phone cyano-de-Bergerac style, Riz finally getting some closure that he helped one of Tem’s wishes come true and finally acknowledging to himself that Tem had a life and loves outside of him that were cut of short by his actions, and just crying over his lost friend, as Pina and Els slow-dance in Tem memory. Or if you just want to see Tem awkwardly date a carnivore boy from school, why not something less creepy and more wholesome and ship him with Jack? That would be cute AF, and more importantly, not romanticize brutal murder. Or an AU where everything is happy and nice, I’d argue at that it’s no longer Beastars at that point, but if it makes you happy, go for it. Let’s not shame anyone here.

 Snape X Lilly (Harry Potter)

Why I hate this ship: honestly, it’s not for the reason you think; I just like Snape too much as a tragic character, and making him in any way happy destroys his arc in my opinion.  The objection’s others have raised: that Snape acts in a worryingly possessive stalker-ish way towards Lilly, and that if Voldemort had gone for Nevil rather than Harry as a child Snape would have remained a loyal death eater, are true and I acknowledge them as having some validity, but that’s not why I can’t stand this ship. Snape is supposed to be a morally and emotionally complex, tragic figure. That “After all this time?” line was the best line in the Deathly Hallows.  Snape is supposed to show the equality destructive and redemptive power of  love. It’s sort of trinity: Lilly shows the pure power of true, unconditional love in her sacrifice to save Harry, Voldy shows what self-destruction and cruelty a life without understanding love leads to, and Snape sits somewhere in the middle: his one-sided  un-requited love being both the cause of his darkest, and his greatest actions. His curse, and his redemption, fall and rise. Making him happy messes that up.

How to (kinda) fix this ship: make them miserable. Make them fall for each-other only to be pulled apart by circumstance (you know, like they were in the darn original source material). You’re serious about making this a tragic, dark romance? Don’t ship them when they’re at school: Ship them during Voldemort’s rise to power, in the 80’s, after Lilly is married. Have the original Order of the Phoenix send her to meet with Snape and use their previous relation to try to milk some information out of him. Have her feel conflicted about it, have James furious about it, but have her do it anyway for the greater good. Have her meet up secretly with Snape who is angry and distrustful, knowing his must be a trap, and talk. Have the relationship slowly build over time against the backdrop of a cold-war spy thriller, as Lilly slowly realizes that she has some lingering feelings for Snape, but can’t reconcile them her loyalty to the order and her family. Make this a love story of conflicted feelings, divided loyalties, and spy-work against the background of drawing war-clouds. Have Snape offer to leave Voldemort, if she’ll leave the Order, and run away with him, but by that point she knows she’s pregnant and chooses to stay, out of loyalty even though she’s crushing on Snape. Have him show up at the rendezvous expecting for her to be there only for James to lead an Order Ambush, and a fight to ensure, on top of Tower Bridge in the howling wind and rain, Snape surviving but having his spirit crushed and fleeing before Lilly can tell him her true feelings. Make it big, and melodramatic, but above all, make it tragic.  Because that’s the only way Snape works as a character. Always.

The better ship you should be doing: Ginny X Nevil or Luna x Nevil: You want tragic lovers, at school, with divided loyalties, who never get together in the main cannon because a Potter ruins it and gets the girl? Ginny X Nevil. Write what was happening that final year Harry wasn’t at school when they took Dumbledore’s Army and make it work in earnest. Heck, you could even have Snape, as headmaster, hated by them but secretly trying to protect them as a secondary character to their secret, forbidden love. You don’t want to break up Harry X Ginny? Luna X Nevil is sweet and wholesome, but also tragic as they never get a chance, having their school life taken over by the horror of that final year and the need to fight for their very souls in a school run by Death Eaters and the trauma of the Battle of Hogwarts meaning that in order to put away the past and move on, they need to leave each other behind. Hell, do an AU where they canonically end up together, why not? They deserve happiness.

 Dean / Sam AKA Wincest (Supernatural)

Why I hate this ship: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. Several times.

How you could (sort of) fix this ship: You can’t: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. I guess a body-swap arc could fix this, as it’s less squicky if its just their bodies with someone else’s minds,  but seriously, the reasons why this shouldn’t exist are extensively covered in the show, and it was hilarious.  To be honest, I don’t hate this ship done as a joke, but I have seen some dark spots on the internet, and I can say with all honesty it’s not always treated as a joke. Some folks are really invested in this, and all I can ask is, is your home life okay?

Now, done as a joke, I’m 110% behind this. This is exactly the sort of insane wacky bullshit that makes for a good crack-fic. For example imagine that the supernatural threat of the week was book that made anything written in it come true, and the brothers are trying to find and destroy it, but they keep getting distracted by their burgeoning romantic feelings for each-other, and suddenly realise that the owner of the book is a fan on the in-universe novels, and writing slash-fic in the book. They need to find the writer before they make them do something they’ll both regret, but it’s just so distracting when Sam’s beautiful eyes are right there and- dammit, Sam, it’s happening again! Make Sam less concerned and even a little amused, with it, but make Dean hate what’s going on. Especially when the writer’s description suddenly makes Sam noticeably better hung that him. Make the villain turn out to be Becky from “Sympathy for the devil” and end with them trying to take the book away as she writes frantically to force them to do her bidding, and you’ve got yourself a good fic.

The better ship you should be doing: Cas/Sam or Cas/Dean or Cas/Sam AND Dean fic. Duh. Once again the show-runners beat the fans to the mark and pointed out that this is the best ship, and then they took it away just to fuck with us.

 Any Katniss ship that ignores her obsession with Emotional Security Logic. (The Hunger Games)

Why I hate these ships: Katniss is, briefly put, a mess before the books ever start, her father’s death and harsh upbringing have arguably given her PTSD before she ever volunteers for the reaping, and it doesn’t get better from there.  In psychology, Emotional Security Theory (EST) is a hypothesis that the heightened emotions surrounding repeated violent exposures leaves children vulnerable to dysregulated distress responses and eventual psychopathology, aka, why Kat be so messed up.  Her internal monologue makes the books completely clear that her choice in partners is not motivated by normal affections, but by deep, deep fear. A fear of loss, abandonment and death that leads her to make every decision about what minimises her, and her sister’s, exposure to potential physical and emotional harm. It’s frantic, fraught, cold survivalist thinking. And the other characters in the book notice and acknowledge it! “Which of us will she pick?” “She’ll pick whoever she can’t survive without.” Kat doesn’t like herself for it, but she does eventually admit to herself that she makes her decisions like this.

How do we fix this ship: Ship Kat with whoever you like, but give her a good reason to pick them: and in Kat’s mind “A good reason” is based on Emotional Security Logic, she needs to have a pressing reason why this ship makes her and her sister safer. Do that, and you’ve got yourself a good Katniss story. Don’t do that, and while you may or may not have a good story, the person staring in it isn’t Katniss Everdeen anymore.

The better ship you should be writing: Finick X Annie. Or, Haymitch prequel ships

FinAnn. This, this ship has some real potential to it, and is criminally underutilized. Finick and Annie’s relationship is one of the most tragic and romantic in the story, and has so much to offer. Or, if you want to have a hard-bitten character from district 12 struggling with trying to find love in the hellish combat of the games, do a prequel in which Haymitch finds love in the capitol during training, but loses then in the area and turns to drink as a result. Heck, you could even have some fun with this and turn it into a dark comedy, or a great tragic love story, whatever you like. It’s got potential, and his backstory is vague enough you could do a lot with it.

So, tell me below why I’m wrong, and have fun with your writing: just because I hate that ship doesn’t mean you should. Enjoy yourselves.

I’m off to write awful Ax/Pina/Luna Polyjuice’d into Nevil/Cas/Finick fiction set at an anime high-school that fights a magical war against other fictional schools, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[vampiresuns]

Again and Again, Even Though We Know Love’s Landscape | Asra x Milenko

☽ AGAIN AND AGAIN, EVEN THOUGH WE KNOW LOVE’S LANDSCAPE ☽

2.1k words. Written for Asra Week 2021, Day 4: Bonds. In which the secret of the Scourge is discovered, Anatole and Asra fight, and Milenko has no choice but to be caught in the middle.

Title comes from the poem of the same name, by Rainer Maria Rilke. Dani’s @apprenticealec​‘s Baudelaire family has a cameo here.

You can catch up with Milasra’s pre-game canon, ‘Like Thirst Holds Water’, here.

CW: Trauma talk, mentions of captivity, suggested regicide.

Milan had only seen Anatole angry, really angry, a couple of times. While his cousin was easy to rile up, he truly believed in being kind and understanding with people and lived by it, even if sometimes (a lot of times) people exasperated him. Anatole was rather introverted but there was no doubt he was as people-leaning as can be. He believed in the freedom and fulfilment of the people with a candidness that refused naiveness. Anatole, while not immune to his own youth, was no fool. 

He had a very determined set of things which did tick him off, that made him forget he was a polite person and unleashed his vindictive wrath upon whomever dared to do any of those things. Neglectful incompetence, abuse of power, people who tried to buy him over, cruel people, or people who spoke over him too many times. Same as people who purposely messed with his schedule, when he had already explained why he had one. Being lied to for no good reason or feeling betrayed by people he loved and actively gave his time to, also angered him. 

He supposed Asra’s was a good reason, or at least, he understood the reasons behind it. However, Milenko also wanted to think Asra had a good reason to keep from all of them why Muriel wasn’t around any more.

Milenko had always known there had to be another reason as to why Asra could not stand the Count — besides him trying to ask about his parents and getting nothing, Lucio’s slumming and overall intolerable personality, or the way he ruled. Milenko didn’t know what it was exactly, but he knew it had stirred something up in Asra, something that had been happening for at least a year. He had offered Asra the opportunity to come to him, whenever he was ready. His mothers had done the same, offering their home as a safe place; so had Anatole and Paris albeit in a different way than Milenko had.

Or was it different? He didn’t know. It was love, after all. 

Anatole had found out about Muriel because he had been more or less forced to go to the Colosseum. As a general rule, no Cassano, and certainly no Radošević-Cassano, went to the building. Public entertainment was not a problem, even when it was not their brand of public entertainment. Their problem was when aristocrats, or worse, rulers, used it to provide some sort of macabre bread and circus, holding people against their wills and depriving them from their rights, grooming people in a lesser position into fighting, and another set of practices they had tried to mend for years upon years with their hold of the Consulship. 

That was, perhaps, why it was even more crucial that the Cassano never went — because all of the social failings of Vesuvia which procured the main source of “gladiators” were things the Consul was usually responsible for, having to find ways to mitigate them. However, there were always people like the Baudelaire family and their circles who did not hesitate to use their own influence to keep their business models. Owning things was not a job, exploiting others was not a job. It had gotten to such a point of tension that when Valerian Cassano was still performing, he refused to do it if a Baudelaire was in the audience, especially if it was their patriarch. His husband, Iovanus, former Consul of Vesuvia, had not been much better when he was still alive: the old Count Spada had to force him to hold meetings with them, otherwise, he plainly refused to, and Iovanus was stubborn as a mule. 

The Cassano took their civic duties seriously. Way too seriously to some people. Lucio was one of those people, which made matters worse. Count-Consul cooperation was minimal, despite certain rumours flying around in the City, and with Vlastomil as the Praetor, the criminal justice system in Vesuvia was decidingly falling apart. Lucio could say whatever he wanted, but everyone who had an ounce of critical thinking could tell what the Scourge of the South, or rather, Muriel —Milenko would not use that never, he would never use a name that wasn’t Muriel’s own— actually was to him.

Now they knew Lucio had threatened Muriel with hurting Asra, and lied to Asra about his possibility to free him if he paid his “debt”. Of course, the debt didn’t really exist, it was all a fabrication from Lucio, who did it simply because he could. Anatole was so angry about it Milenko heard him say something which he had only heard him say for the worst kind of people: “In Balkovia, people like this get murdered for less.” He was so angry, Milenko saw his cousin do something he never did — he reminded Asra everything he had offered with his friendship, how his family had opened up for him, a home, a safe place, all of it with nothing attached. For him and for Muriel. 

Nothing was attached still, Anatole wasn’t asking for retribution, he was asking for Asra to acknowledge the bond they were supposed to have, when in a time of need he could’ve used the entire weight of the Cassano to get Muriel out of it. Milenko had talked to Anatole first, caught between his friend and partner, and his cousin; Asra had wanted space anyway, so Milenko offered that to him. 

One way or another, he knew better than to tell Anatole what to do. He knew his cousin like he knew the water, so all he needed to do was let him talk and nudge him, and he would come around on his own. However, the more he heard him talk, the angrier Anatole got. 

“You know Muriel is everything he's got. Muriel didn’t talk about it either.”

“Muriel is the only person more hermetic than Asra, and if he doesn’t tell Asra first, he’s probably not telling anyone. Ever. Not to forget, he thinks we’re loud and weird. I just feel—”

“Stupid and you hate it?”

“So incredibly stupid.”

Milenko tried to tell Anatole it wasn’t his fault, and he meant it. Asra had to learn how to rely on others, instead of just enclosing himself so no harm ever came through his defences, nor to him, nor to his loved ones. Who better than Milenko to know. 

Anatole just sounded bitter and dejected when he spoke. “He knows I can tell when he’s lying to my face, Milenko. I’m not asking him to tell me everything. He can tell me he doesn’t want to talk about something and establish a boundary, which he knows he can do. I am asking my friend not to lie to my fucking face when I can literally feel he’s lying to me.”

Milenko hated how bitterness looked on him. It was wrong. Out of place. 

“I’m sorry, Nana. Maybe we should’ve all seen this sooner.”

“You saw nothing of this, didn’t you?”

Milenko sighed, being his time to sound defeated. “Yes and no. You know I can’t really control what I see. I wasn’t like it was with— with… you know—”

“Decimo?” Anatole smiled for the first time in their conversation, trying to reassure him. “You can say the name of the rat bastard, even if he doesn’t deserve to step on the same earth we do.”

“No,” Milenko said, surprising himself with how teeth-grinding angry he felt, “no he doesn’t. But what I was saying is that it wasn’t like that, when I just knew you weren’t safe. I think it’s because I’m not as close to Muriel as I am to you.”

Anatole sighed. “I think he uses protective charms. He’s never shown me much, but I’m pretty sure Muriel can do abjuration like,” Anatole clicked his cheeks, a gesture he had unknowingly copied from his friend Leonore, “better than most people we know that can.” 

They sat together for a long while until Anatole said he had to go. Milenko asked him what he would do, his cousin answering with a shrug. “At this point? I am willing to do anything in my power so this slimy, little, petty tyrant eats up everything he ever did to Vesuvia, and maybe everything he’s ever done to me in Court while we’re at it. And to Aunt Cassie, and to Iovanus, and to every living person whose life he’s fucked over. I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but I’ll do it, whatever it takes.”

Milenko didn’t say anything. Anatole looked determined, and once Anatole was determined to see something through, he didn’t waver.  

When he went back to find Asra, he was curled over himself, quietly crying. Asra felt the dent on the bed when Milenko sat in it, his cries erupting and resurfacing the moment he felt Milenko rubbing his back. The poet began humming a song for Asra, offering all the comfort he could. He was always so kind to him, he was always so loving to him; Milenko was always so good to him, and Asra was a mess. He knew better than to say anything, because after the three years and counting they’ve been together, Asra knew Milenko had very disarming arguments for that line of thought of his. 

When Asra spoke again, was to ask Milenko if Anatole was angry at him. 

Milenko sighed. “I think with you is more appropriate. Not for the reasons you think, though.

“What about then?” Asra asked, voice raspy through a sniffle.

“Beloved, he understands you grow at your own rate. No one is judging you or blaming you for not knowing how to deal with things, or not knowing when to reach out. He’s angry you lied to his face. Beloved, you know Anatole senses that. You know he can tell when you do it. He doesn’t care that you don’t tell him things you’re not ready to talk about, just, don’t lie to my cousin to his face.”

Milenko didn’t know what he was expecting, but Asra beginning to cry again was not it. With a lovefull sigh, he pulled his partner closer, letting Asra cling to him like an anchor to something Milenko didn’t quite understand. He knew, however, that Asra’s grief, that which he carried alone and alone only, was deep. A wound so deep it had pierced him to the very centre of his being and changed him forever.

He wanted to tell him he understood. Milenko’s first memory wasn’t a memory; it was a pit of panic ingrained in him out of something he had been told about but couldn’t really remember. He was a toddler, and the war in Balkovia was still raging on, and someone had decided Blasio, Violeta and him weren’t the right sort of people— 

Yet as Asra cried himself to sleep, Milenko helping him wash his face and handing him water to drink before he finally passed out, Milenko said nothing. Something told him it was not the right thing to say and that Asra, distressed and afraid, would not appreciate it. It was through no fault of his own, though, and Milenko knew this. Trauma and loneliness were fissures which never sealed right, no matter how well one learnt to handle them. On top of that, Asra was not a great fan of confrontation, and his argument with Anatole had hit not in one but two places because Asra now didn’t just carry the fear of Muriel being hurt (which he had been, several times) or Muriel dying, but also the one of losing Anatole for this, or Anatole doing something that he wouldn’t be able to stop and getting hurt for something Asra would assume was his fault. 

There had to be something tragic waiting to happen in a friendship so coloured by Romance. 

Milenko couldn’t sleep, so he held Asra instead, drawing idle patterns on the magician's back as he felt his soft, sleep-heavy breath tickling his skin. For the first time in the years they’ve been together, Milenko looked at their relationship and he Saw. Again and again, Asra and him chose to walk together, a love that made Milenko feel like anywhere was a field of flowers, a love that made him feel like he would burst at the seams with it. A love so heavy, no one that young should feel it, but perhaps they felt it because they were young. 

This was what the poets meant when they said Beloved, and maybe even then, when it came to him and Asra, love would not be enough. 

Morning came, and at least for the morrow, Milenko chose to love Asra again. He’d deal with the rest later.

[kingofthewilderwest]

What's amatonormativity??

I’d encourage you to go to Google or check out tumblr tags and posts on amatonormativity to learn more!

Amatonormativity is the internalized cultural mindset that romance is default and central. It especially conceives of romance as the single most important relationship in someone’s life, to the point it should be focused upon and sought out above any other bond. It treats romance like the universal ultimate solution to any of our emotional bond problems (loneliness, intimacy, trust, support, longevity of relationships, etc.). Amatonormativity is heavily ingrained in many societies, like the mindset I find in people in the United States.

Of course romance isn’t a bad life experience! For many people, it can bring great joy. When people criticize amatonormativity, people aren’t criticizing that romance can be a great thing in someone’s life. The problem with amatonormativity is that it treats romance as the ULTIMATE thing, the ONE solution to our need for emotional fulfillment.

It’s important to understand that amatonormativity has profound negative side effects, whether you’re allo or aro, whether you’re queer or straight, and whatever gender you are. Society takes a lot of things for granted regarding romance and this can stunt our happiness. It stunts our ability to bond with other people around us or find satisfaction within our lives.

Amatonormativity underlies emotionally stunting assumptions like..... (disclaimer... I will often use language defaulting to the Western cishet perspective, because that’s the mindset of my broader society... I myself am an aroace enby and have more nuanced understandings of gender, gender expression, gender roles, sexual attraction and identity, romantic attraction and identity, etc.)

Automatically assuming that just because a man talks to a woman, the interaction MUST be romantic in nature (this of course intertwines with heteronormativity -- many of my points will intertwine with heteronormativity). It assumes there’s no such thing as “just friends” between people of “opposite” genders. This in turn can result in us losing opportunities to bond to, understand, or properly respect... literally half the human population.  

Treating friendships as secondary. Treating friendships as temporary. Treating friendships as more replaceable than romance. Treating friendships as less “deep” and important to our time than romance, even a romance you started two days ago with someone you met last week. By doing this, we lose the chance to grow deeper with someone near us. It limits the potential by which we can bond with another human soul and find happiness.  

The belief we are unlovable and not worth anything because we can’t find a romantic partner. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen people disregard their own worth because of this, and it makes me deeply sad. The truth is that our worth is not at all tied to whether we have a romantic partner. We can be so deeply loved and cherished in all sorts of relationships. Of course it’s still valid if you feel single blues because you want a romantic partner, but tying the concept into “I am worthless OR I’m dating” clearly is an emotionally harmful concept. It can result in everything down to hooking up in a relationship that you aren’t ready for or don’t like as much as you pretend you do.  

The belief that we are utterly alone without a romantic partner. I notice this often ties into the amatonormative belief that we can only get good physical touch, trust, emotional and physical intimacy, etc. through a romantic partner. I feel this mindset is especially pronounced in cishet men, since USA culture treats masculinity as lacking outwardly expressed vulnerability, and ergo you might not be getting your emotional needs met through your platonic and familial relations. The one “accepted” way of getting your emotional needs met comes through The Girlfriend / Wife. This belief prevents us from reaching out and finding support through other people in our lives. We can find love and comfort in friends. We can confide about our emotional struggles and find relational intimacy (great trust!) through familial and platonic bonds. Hugs, snuggling, other acts of physical affection are what humans need, and don’t need to be relegated to One Person Only. Plus... if we assume that our emotional struggles should be fulfilled by One Person Only... that puts enormous pressure on that partner to provide for everything. No one’s that strong. We need support networks, not one designated “save me” individual. It’s pure unhealthiness to mount burdens only on one person, and bottle yourself up otherwise. I often see this fallacy pop up when people start a new romantic relationship. You might barely know the person, and yet you’re trying to rely on them for everything, and you’re trying to be the person they’ll rely on for everything. You dive deep into the expectations before you really know how to handle it, and in the process become psychologically overwhelmed because of the Huge Responsibilities this role seems to entail. Being in a romance doesn’t automatically mean you’ve reached peak intimacy! Note: it’s not to say that romance can’t be a major avenue of security. Of course it’s a great way to fulfill intimacy, trust, physical needs, etc. Of course it can become a bond full of loyalty. But romance is actually like any other relationship... a familial relation can be weak or it can be strong, a platonic relation can be weak or it can be strong, and a romantic bond can be weak or it can be strong. The fallacy is that we are treating romance as *THE* way to fulfill all these diverse emotional problems, socking it onto one individual when it might be beyond their single load to bear, and then not seeking out help from the other sources that are around us.  

The belief that the only person you can live with is a romantic partner. Living with non-romantic roommates (aka living with friends) is seen as an undesirable inconvenience and something you only do temporarily because you financially have to. It’s seen as an immature youthful thing rather than something an established adult might do. Living with friends long-term out of chosen happiness is not something that crosses the mind of many people... it’s assumed you’ll either move out to live on your own, or marry and go and live with your partner.  

The belief that adulthood progresses through a very specific sequence of events. You go to school. You leave on your own. You marry. You get a house. You have kids. There’s a reason it’s common for family to nag you  “When are you going to get married? When are you going to get married?” Because clearly you haven’t made an important step of adulthood, an important step in life, unless you get married. I’ve noticed that for many of my friends, even those who are comfortable with the life choice to not get married... they express they don’t feel “as adult” as their married peers. And many people in society won’t treat them “as adult.”  

Harmful beliefs downplaying spousal abuse, like those people who try to argue “you can’t rape your wife / husband / spouse / girlfriend / boyfriend / significant enby / significant dumbass. That’s not what rape means.” Because a sexual-romance is the GOOD thing, right?  

AND MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Some people of course have a better handle on their relationships than others. Some people are better at ignoring what society considers most important or most default. Some of what I’ve said above is when these beliefs are treated to their utmost, rather than what some people will do (lots of people have close “besties”, for instance). But amatonormativity+heteronormativity creeps in everywhere in society.

It’s the reason why, in most Hollywood movies, the protagonist is a man and the main actress is his romantic partner. It’s the reason why these two characters might start a steamy romance even before they know each other well; who needs to write ACTUAL understanding between the two characters when they obviously are going to fall in love and fuck?

It’s the reason why advertisements are so sex-oriented (reminder note: society usually doesn’t distinguish sexual and romantic bonds). Advertisements try to make their product appealing by associating it to romance, the Ultimate Desirable. Here’s how to make you look hot so you can attract someone in a romantic-sexual relationship, because THAT’S the ultimate goal of life, right?

It’s embedded in linguistic expressions. If someone asks if you’re dating, you respond, “No, she’s only a friend.” Or. “No. We’re just friends.” Friendship is being treated as lesser. Breakups are treated as inevitably bad even if you choose to be friends afterwards -- because clearly being friends is “taking a step back”, right? Even the word “break up” -- oooo that’s bad sounding! (There have been multiple times I’ve ended romantic relationships where I’ve turned the phraseology on the head and told them it’s a step forward to better, happier, healthier, stronger bonds... and they had to think it through, because amatonormative society forgets this can be the case.) “Friendzoning” is seen as a crime in part because you’re not going to be as intimate with someone as you want to be... despite the fact that having a non-romantic and/or non-sexual relationship with someone could be JUST as meaningful and deep!

I’ve FREQUENTLY seen church study groups that offer only these options: young adult small groups, women’s small groups, men’s small groups, and married couple’s small groups. Because clearly the only “mixed” gender situations out there are when you’re too young to be married, or you’re married.

And frankly, I think it’s one of the reasons why fandom likes to play hook-up with all the characters. Shipping is SO much fun! I love shipping! This is not a comment against the act of shipping! But if everyone needs a romantic partner to be happy...... mmmmm.... yeah let’s rethink what the underlying assumption is here. It’s that default assumption that “romance=happiness, romance=ultimate goal, romance=happily ever after, friendship=lesser.” If two characters in a show don’t canonically hook up, fans can get angry... even if the relationship showed on screen is one with a lot of trust, loyalty, happiness, and intimacy.

I am aroace. I don’t know how many other friends in the aro and/or ace community have talked about how lonely and unhappy they feel, because all their friends around them are looking for sex and romance and ergo don’t treat their friendship deep enough for my friends to get their emotional needs met. It’s easy to feel left out in a world where everyone is looking for romance, and ergo you are never the bond they want to pursue.

There are many ways in which we can achieve close bonds with people. This is why I think it’s important to talk about amatonormativity. Again, I’m SO happy when my friends are happy in a good romance. That’s a good thing!!! But it’s so psychologically destructive, whether you’re aro or allo, to live in a world where romance is considered The One And Only Key to relational happiness.  

Talking about amatonormativity has the goal of helping us be aware about how society idolizes romance and/or sex. The goal is to help everyone know we have many options by which to pursue good, deep bonds in a variety of ways. The goal is to make sure we don’t treat romance as the only acceptable way to live. The goal is finding ways for humans to get our needs fulfilled healthily and widespreadly. The goal is to be more comfortable with and more accepting of people who don’t follow The One Righteous Path Of Required Romance, so that we can all be more comfortable with ourselves and the relations around us -- including being comfortable with our romances!

[pan-cakez]

Last Straw

Inspired by this post: https://countingdowndays.tumblr.com/post/189602949856/prompt-lila-salt-adriens-mom

For their assignment over the weekend, the class had to write about their favorite film. The class was abuzz with excitement at the prospect of being able to write about something that they loved, and have an excuse to watch the movie again without judgement. When the class was dismissed, everyone kept on talking about the films that they chose, and some people even offered to have a showing with their classmates after the presentations. Adrien stayed silent. He knew what film he was going to pick, and even though his classmates may not appreciate it in the same way he did, he still wanted to share it with them.

When he was walking outside, Marinette called out to him. Adrien stopped and turned around to smile at her. “Hey Marinette! What’s up?” Marinette smiled at him and rubbed the back of her neck softly. “What movie are you going to write about?” Adrien chuckled. “The only movie that I ran out of my house to see. What about you?” Marinette twirled her fingers around and looked at the ground. “I’m doing a movie on the heroes of Paris that just came out. I honestly think that people need to stop seeing Ladybug as the only one, when they’re better together.” Adrien felt his cheeks heat up, and he rushed into the waiting car while yelling and quick, “Gottagobye!” leaving Marinette standing on the curb in confusion.

During the car ride, Adrien couldn’t really focus on anything. All that he could think about was how supportive Marinette was. He’s tired of being seen as lesser than Ladybug. He gets it, that he could really step up his game, but at the end of the day, he just doesn’t want anyone to feel the same misery that he does, and will try his hardest to make everyone happy. He’s glad that someone sees him as something positive, rather than a nuisance like Ladybug does.

When he arrived at home, Nathalie was there waiting there for him, tablet in hand. Adrien stood at the bottom of the staircase while looking up at Nathalie. “Does father still have a copy of mom’s movie? We’re doing a report on our favorite movies for class.” Nathalie looked down at him stone-faced. “I’ll ask your father. In the meantime, it is time for your piano practice.” Adrien sighed and walked upstairs to his room. He decided to play slow classical music. He got so lost in it, he didn’t realize his father was there until he cleared his throat. His head snapped to the doorway where he saw Gabriel standing. Adrien shot up, and stood up. Gabriel walked up to Adrien and handed him a flashdrive. “This is a copy of the film. It’s yours to keep.” Adrien smiled softly, and took the drive. “Thank you father, this means a lot to me.” Gabriel nodded and clasped his hand behind his back. “This movie means a lot to mean, and I’m glad it means a lot to you as well. I think your mother would be honored to have her movie be your favorite.” Gabriel walked away without any further comment. Adrien walked to his desk, and after loading the movie, he watched it for the first time this weekend, of many.

On the morning of the presentations, the classroom was filled with chatter. Adrien mostly kept to himself, but Marinette sat next to him, making sure that he was okay. Adrien smiled at her kindness. He knows that Marinette is the only person in the class that knows his mother stars in this piece. The fact that she could guess correctly that he would be emotionally vulnerable today really spoke to Marinette’s character, and he genuinely wanted someone as caring as her around more in her life. She made the wait for his turn much more bearable. Marinette when before him to ease him. To say that Marinette’s presentation made him feel butterflies in his stomach was an understatement. To hear that he was truly appreciated, and that his work as Chat Noir made a difference to people really warmed his heart.

When it was his turn, he took a deep breath and looked at Marinette. She gave him a smile and a thumbs up. Adrien started talking, and explaining the movie. Everyone was captivated by his presentation, and absorbed every word. He explained how rare the movie was, and how it’s fully in black and white, and how it was an artistic choice, rather than a limitation of technology in the case of older films. He explained the plot, and how the movie wasn’t a piece of media, but a piece of art. When he finished the presentation, Marinette had some tears in her eyes, and Adrien smiled softly at her, and the rest of the class just clapped. Adrien bowed and took a seat next to Marinette, who immediately hugged him. “I’m so proud of you. You did amazing!” Adrien let out a chuckle. “So did you Marinette!”

After all the presentations was done, everyone talked about the presentations. Everyone congratulated Adrien. Lila walked up to their table, and smiled. “What an amazing presentation! I didn’t know you loved this film so much.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck and smiled softly. “Well there’s so many reasons behind it. The actress is also phenomenal!” Lila smiles, and sees her chance to woo Adrien. “Well, I know the actress personally, and I can definitely get you to meet her. We’re pretty good family friends.” Marinette looked at Lila in disgust. Adrien balled his fists, but kept it hidden under the desk, and tried his hardest to keep his cool. “Oh? How do you know her?” Lila smirked, fully believe she had him in her grasp. “Yeah. I see her all the time when I go to events. I actually have her number.” Adrien scoffed, knowing she was lying, and decided to finally expose her, and was going to use this to do it. He always let her slide because she never hurt anyone, but with this lie, it was too much, and his last straw. “Hey Lila, can you call her? I would very much like to meet her.” Lila didn’t expect it to get to this point, but she’s still going to pull his strings. “Definitely. I can call her and see when she’s free next week.” Adrien looked her dead in the eye and said, “Great. Tell me what my mom says.” Lila’s face dropped and the classroom went dead silent. All eyes were on Lila. “I always let you slide on every single one of your lies. I tell Marinette to leave you alone because no one is getting harmed, and they’re just little white lies. But this isn’t a little white lie. How many people have you lied about knowing to get people to like you? What about you isn’t a lie? You absolutely disgust me.” Adrien stormed out of the classroom, and Marinette ran after him. Marinette got him to stop before he walked out of the building, and pulled him into a hug. Adrien cried into Marinette’s shoulder and she just let him get it out. She rubbed his back gently and whispered comforting words. Adrien slowly fell to the floor and Marinette went down with him.

After Adrien stopped crying, Marinette and him walked back to the classroom, where the class was ganging up on a terrified Lila. “You made me ruin my friendship with one of the best people I know,” Alya yelled. “You cast Marinette out because she was the only person who saw through you! She knew that you were full of it, and warned us, and we didn’t believe her! We cast out a perfect friend for you,” Rose screamed. Madame Bustier stood in the corner, calling the principal, not knowing what to do. Marinette and Adrien started walking towards the crowd, and everyone split to let them through to Lila. Lila looked at them and Adrien almost felt sorry for her. Almost. “Your work with the Agreste brand is now done. We will make sure to communicate with further business partners to let them know about your horrible tendency to lie. You’d better start looking for a different place, because the socialites, and celebrities here will have absolutely nothing to with you.” Lila was truly shaken by Adrien’s cold words. Marinette rubbed his back softly to make it easy on him. Mr. Damocles walked inside and called for Lila. The class watched her walked out in shame. Once she had left the classroom, Marinette felt eyes on her. Marinette shook her head and let out a sharp, “I don’t want to hear a word out of any of you.” The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. The bell rung shortly after, and Adrien and Marinette walked out together, and Adrien asked if Marinette would like to watch his mother’s movie together. Marinette gladly accepted and when they arrived at the Agreste mansion, Adrien explained everything, which infuriated Gabriel. Adrien invited Nathalie and his bodyguard to watch the film with them. Marinette made chouquettes for everyone, and eventually Gabriel joined although he didn’t say anything. Adrien was just happy to be sharing this with so many people who appreciate it.

@virgil-is-a-cutie​ thanks for reblogging the post!! Its how I found it!

[colehasapen]

(ONE SHOT) And the dreams that you dream of   DC COMICS

A03

It’s a weight off his shoulders.

Alan had known for a long time that his dirty little secret was dragging him down, had known that it was a vice around his heart and a collar around his neck that had stopped him from ever really being happy with himself. He’d lived his life hiding, and keeping secrets; for his own safety at first, and out of fear of change afterwards once it started becoming more mainstream. Back when he was a lad, being caught with another boy was as good as a death sentence - he’d heard so many stories of other kids and men like him being found in alleyways, of them being attacked and beating out in the open and still no one cared enough to help.

It was the norm, and Alan had tried to conform.

Alan Scott had known since grade school that he wasn’t normal, that he wasn’t like the other boys. Boys who would talk about how pretty Betty Noris was, or the shape of Dorothy’s assets. Instead, Alan had found his gaze lingering on the other boys during gym class, or the look of the bare chests of the men who would help his Ma move furniture. He’d known for a long time that it was dangerous, had known even before Jimmy and Robbie from the next block down had caught him and their kid brother behind the fish market. They had beaten Alan black and blue, had spit on him while he’d laid on the dirty ground and pulled Johnny away from him, promising worse if they ever saw him sniffing around their brother again, that they wouldn’t tell anyone this time that Alan Scott was a fag because it would drag their family’s good name down with him.

Johnny hadn’t been able to meet his eyes again after that, had sat on the opposite end of the classroom and kept to himself even more than he already had in the first place, and Alan had locked that part of himself away. He had hardened himself to everything around him, had become the kind of man expected of him.

But he hadn’t been fully happy. Not with himself, and not with his life.

Becoming Green Lantern had helped, it gave him a meaning that he hadn’t known he was missing. He made friends and comrades that would last him for decades afterwards, friends who knew and cared for him, no matter what Alan was. None of them were normal, none of them fit into the society of their time, for whatever reason. They were all freaks and outsiders, abominations who had all found themselves brought together by a shared desire for justice in an unfair world.

The Justice Society.

As Green Lantern, Alan could save people, could help people. Could slowly let out parts of himself that he had kept locked away for so long, ever since he was scrawny and twelve, and kissing Johnny Moore in a hidden part of the market. He could never  say what he was out loud, not fully, not without the words that he wouldn’t learn until much later in life, when more and more people like him started coming out of the shadows to live their lives openly and make their voices heard. He made friends and friends, people who didn’t care that Alan wasn’t right, because none of them really were either.

What was looking a little too long at men to aliens and immortals after all?

What was it to a man that could run faster than sound? A man who liked men and women equally and kept it hidden just as Alan did?

The Justice Society gave him Jay, and despite him being a raging ass, it also gave him unconditional love.

The Justice Society didn’t last forever, but the connections he made did.

Never before Alan had called what he had with Jay more than friendship, but they both knew it was more than that. Friends didn’t have the same sort of relationship Alan had with Jay, friends didn’t fall in love with each other and stay in love for as long as they had. Friends didn’t sleep with a married man, even with their partner’s wife’s permission. Joan was a lovely, wonderful woman, who deserved the world, and by god, Alan knows that Jay was willing to give it to her if she asked. The Garricks would never have blood children, not without the lack of trying, but Alan knows they considered the new generations of speedsters their own, just as they considered Alan’s children family.

Unlike Jay, Alan hadn’t been able to settle down. He hadn’t been able to keep up the facade he had built up, even if he had tried. He had loved Rose and Molly, had adored them, but not in the ways that they deserved. He had grieved Rose when she’d died, he had let Molly go so that she could find happiness, and he had kept going, kept hiding.

But hiding had taken its toll.

He has adult children now. Children with lives of their own. He’s old, and getting older, and the world is changing. It’s not perfect, he knows, but it’s so much better than the one he had grown up in. There’s still people like Jimmy and Robbie Moore out there hurting people like him, but this generation refuses to keep quiet or hidden. Alan is damn proud of them; he may wear a mask, but those activists? The ones who stood up and made themselves heard over the years and the ingrained belief that they were lesser because of how they were born or who they loved? Who refused to stay down despite everyone telling them to?

They’re the real damn heroes.

Alan wishes he was half as brave as them.

As it stands, he’s making the truth known. He’s coming clean, and it feels like the rush of adrenaline that comes with flying, that swoop in his stomach as his feet leave the ground. Telling Jen and Todd the truth had felt so,  so wrong, but so right at the same time. He’s an old man now; he’d been lying and hiding since before they had been born, and still they didn’t care. They loved him regardless of it.

They had called him brave.

Alan doesn’t feel very brave, not after all these years, but he does feel free.

It’s after telling his kids that Alan finds himself Keystone City, in front of a familiar little townhouse that Alan is pretty sure he knows better than his own apartment. He lets himself in like he always does, and wanders in, mind feeling like it’s moving as fast as Jay runs.

“Alan?” Jay is in the kitchen, drying his hands on a dish towel and looking soft and domestic, dressed down in slacks and a t-shirt he remembers Barry getting him as a gag on Father’s Day. He’s as beautiful as the day Alan had first met him. His hair is whiter, sure, and his face more lined, but his blue eyes are as kind and warm as ever, and standing in the golden light of the sunset, Alan wants to sweep him into his arms and kiss him.

God - Alan is getting sentimental in his old age.

Propping a hip against the counter, Jay folds the towel over his shoulder, studying him with a gentle sort of care that comes easily to the speedster, and Alan finds his worries melting away. “Everything alright?”

“I told Jen and Todd.” Alan blurts out before he can stop himself. Jay makes it so easy, to tell him everything, to bear his soul and put his heart in his hands. He knows that Jay would protect it, just as he protects everything else. He’d treat his heart with gentle love and sweet care that Alan still doesn’t know if he deserves to have. “I told them. About me.” His eyes slide away from Jay’s, a habit developed after years of not telling anyone.

After years of hiding.

“Alan.” Jay’s voice, deep and kind with the smooth Midwestern drawl Alan had first fallen in love with as a young man, draws him back. It grounds him in ways that Alan can’t describe. “I’m proud of you.”

“I love you.” He whispers, like a promise, and it’s loud in the bubble of space-time that is Alan-and-Jay. He’s never said it before, not out loud. He had been too scared to let it pass his lips or form on his tongue. Jay had been so much more patient than Alan ever deserved, letting him lead him on for as long as he had.

He can see the surprised delight in Jay’s eyes, the stunned part of his lips, and Alan wishes he could have been brave enough to say it years ago.

“I love you. I’ve been in love with you for years.” His voice is louder now, but it still shakes, and if possible, everything about Jay gets softer.

“I love you too.” The speedster says without hesitation, and Alan steps closer, into the bubble of his space, feeling the sparks of static electricity dance across his skin as it always does this close to Jay.

“Can I kiss you?” He breathes reverently, and Jay laughs faintly, gently taking his face in his hands, warm skin against his jaw.

“Do you really need to ask?” Jay teases, and Alan’s lips quirk.

“Yeah.” He says, like a sap, “I like it when you say yes.”

Jay’s blue eyes sparkle. “Well then,” he says with good humour, “my answer will always be yes, Alan.”

Like a fish on a line, Alan is reeled in, letting Jay pull him closer and tilt his head, before he presses their lips together.

[whetstonefires]

Your post about romance was so spot on and this is from someone who really likes reading romances some of the time. I just wish there were more books where friendships (which after all make up the majority of people's relationships!!) were given the same weight and importance as romance gets unthinkingly. Like, I want books or fic which show the development of two (or more) new friends *as the plot and main part of the book*, and the same thing for the progression of pre-established friendship.

Human relationships are varied and complex and interesting and limiting writing to mainly concerning romantic or dating ones is infuriating! I enjoy reading character driven stuff, which is why I like some romances but I really want to see similarly detailed deep studies of friendship. Friendships are so important, and romantic relationships do not supersede them.  Obviously there is gendered bias against romance as a genre but that is not the only reason to be uninterested in romance damnit!

Sorry for ranting in your inbox about romance and thanks for the post

Hah thank and welcome. Very true!

Yeah, the problem is not just how ubiquitous romance is but the inevitability of it. So many people are so much in the habit of hanging their emotional investment on ‘couples getting together’ that not putting one in is a risk, as a creator, and the faint suggestion of a possibility that a romance might eventuate between two characters constitutes a promise that the audience will be outraged to see not followed through.

So making a story focus at all on a relationship between two people who are considered valid potential romantic partners means having to go through incredible backflips and contortions as a writer to get away with not pairing them up, or there will be outrage. There will be outrage anyway, but hopefully on a contained scale that doesn’t have people throwing your book away.

(The easiest way, of course, is to give one or both of them an alternate partner, but then you either have to build up that relationship as the central focus instead, because you aren’t allowed to love anyone that much and not be romantically involved or be romantically involved For Real with anyone but whoever you love most, or accept that you’ve plastered on a beard of some kind in a way that at this point makes your main duo look even more romantic to people who are looking for that in the first place, even if it lets you write a plot that doesn’t acknowledge this.)

This has contributed enormously to the cultural truism ‘men and women can’t be friends.’ They aren’t allowed to be. And this weird intense romantic pressure is now increasingly extending to same-sex friendships, and it’s like...it’s good that gay visibility and acceptance are growing! That’s great!

But it means that all relationships are increasingly exposed to this honestly fucked up set of expectations. That every single love of any intensity is romantic and probably sexual. That that’s the only love that’s real, or that really matters. With occasional exemptions carved out for parents.

And that’s cultural, I want to say. The inclusion of and an interest in the romantic lives of characters in fiction is definitely natural and practically inevitable, but the outsize role it occupies in our current media culture is abnormal and totally non-compulsory. The central role of romance in so much of narrative is just...a pattern, a narrative schema that currently holds sway, born of an assortment of historical accidents and trends, and I don’t think it’s a good one.

I think it would be better for us as a culture and all our individual relationships for that particular social construct to be broken down.

Because this cultural obsession with The Romance in media mirrors and continually recreates the obsession with The Romance in real life. You know how many people are making themselves miserable by either being in a relationship predicated on the need to have one, any one, rather than actual mutual affection, or about not having a love interest currently at any given moment?

Like, quite separately from the actual frustrated romantic feelings themselves, people feeling like they are less or failures or just...unfinished somehow, because they don’t have a romantic partner. It’s so harmful and absurd! We all know this!

And there are of course a lot of sociological factors that have led to that point as well, but it’s linked particularly closely I think to the atomization of modern society.

You’re not likely to retain any particular community for long--we move around so much over the course of our lives, anything you have is designed to be taken apart. School friends are only rarely retained after school, work friends are only until you get a new job, family is quite often something to be avoided or something you have to leave behind, and not usually an extended network anymore anyway.

We are always moving into new contexts, or knowing we might be moved, and holding onto relationships from one context into another is generally regarded as an unusual feat betokening particular, though not lionized, devotion, and leaning on these relationships ‘too much’ or pursuing them with ‘too much’ energy is regarded with deep suspicion.

This, too, is not particularly normal in the human experience. We are not psychologically designed for this level of impermanence. And we have developed very few structures as a culture thus far to make up for it, which is why the modern adult is so famously, dangerously lonely.

But we have all these social protocols for acquiring a person and holding onto them. A person who’s just yours, all yours, who it is promised will fulfill all those gaping needs all by themselves, and if they don’t it’s because you or they are wrong, and need either a different partner or fixing.

The fact that this is insane and not how romance works over 90% of the time is irrelevant to the dream of it, and the dream overwhelms and controls the reality. I agree that codependency is really fucking romantic, and having a kind and supportive mutual one is a lovely fantasy! It’s just...

A lot of harm eventuates from pursuing this fantasy in reality with a media-based conviction that it is 1) a reasonable thing to expect and 2) a necessary precondition for wellbeing and worthiness.

But we have poured so much cultural freight and need into this one single relationship format. At this point having need in any other direction is regarded as disordered and suspect and probably a misdirected application of sexual desire.

The law, too, has put a lot of energy into supporting the focus on seeking the romance as life goal, because the nuclear family is built on the codependent marriage, and capitalism likes the nuclear family very much. The nuclear family is extremely vulnerable to market pressures and bad at collective action, and tends to produce new tiny humans whose main social outlet has been within the school system, which is specifically structured to condition you to accept abusive workplace conditions as a normal precondition of existence, and not to attempt too much intimacy.

Ahem. Spiraled there. But! It’s all connected! Many of the privileges piled onto the institution of marriage were put there specifically because the nuclear family was considered desirable for the expansion of the economy. That’s clearly documented historical fact.

So yeah, the modern cultural obsession with the romance is a symptom of collective emotional disorder, and it chugs along at the expense of the more complex emotional support infrastructures most of us need and deserve.

It’s not just about me wanting representation, wanting an image in the narratives of my culture where I can see myself with the potential for happiness. Everyone needs this. We learn so much about how to be, how to relate to others, from media at this point, since the school system and other weird age-hierarchy stuff keeps us largely segregated from human society for a majority of our growing years and limits our exposure to live examples.

So the paucity of in-depth explorations of friendship, of mutual support, of widespread narrative acceptance that you can have a good life without a romance as its central support pillar, is harmful to people in general.

-

It’s funny, I get frustrated about this periodically, when a piece of media lets me down, or even when I’m following along a funny piece of meta and then the punchline is ‘and the ace character is obviously in denial about how they’re already dating their favorite person’ or whatever.

(The meta is annoying on a surface level and distressing on a deeper level because it’s a threat; so many times a good platonic relationship will buckle under public pressure and it doesn’t matter how asexual, how uninterested in romance, how emphatically platonic the affection has been established as being, The Romance arrives in the next installment of the story because it’s what people expect. Which reinforces the general perception that any other love is illegitimate, lesser, and as soon as it’s meant to be taken seriously it has to be crammed into that one valid shape, and invalidates future insistences in the same mode.

Seriously people stop doing this, we long since reached the point where a character saying in words ‘I have no romantic interest in [person]’ is perceived as a glaring neon sign that they’re destined to get together and that does not do good things for fostering a culture of consent. Obviously people are in denial sometimes but it should not be understood to be the rule.)

But I don’t get upset about it until someone starts in with reasons I’m bad and wrong for not liking these norms.

Like, whatever, media does not cater to my needs, I’ll cope, but when people start trying to get in my head and make me not only responsible for my own discomfort that I’m managing thanks but dishonest and malevolent I...get upset. There’s history there, okay.

‘You don’t care about this ship because you’re homophobic’ ‘you don’t want a love interest in the sequel because you’re racist’ ‘you don’t like romance in stories because you’re a misogynist’ fucking stop.

And occasionally it’s like ‘i guess you have the right to feel that way but how dare you talk about it where other people might hear’ which...well, is particularly common and particularly ironic in the context of people hung up on gay representation.

If we as a society had a healthy relationship with romance, there wouldn’t be negative side effects to that crowd’s pursuit of their worthy goal of applying that schema in places it has been Forbidden, but as it is we don’t, and there are.

[emptysatellite]

the city's our until the fall

Ao3

Narcissa started smoking cigarettes the summer that Andromeda was kicked out, the summer between her sixth and seventh years at Hogwarts.

She would sit in the meadow near her family’s manor, grey smoke pouring from her parted lips as she took deep breaths out. Usually, hot tears would stream down her cheeks as she overheard her sister and parents’ fight, which would always result in cruel words and hexes towards Andromeda.

“I hate the way you treat people you think are lesser than you! It’s not right!”

“We don’t think they’re lesser than us, Andromeda, we know they’re lesser than us. We treat them the way they deserve to be treated!”

“No one deserves to be treated horribly!”

“Mudbloods do! They will be the downfall of the Wizarding World!”

“No!”

Finally, one evening after sunset, Narcissa had successfully climbed out of her window to light a cigarette or two in the meadow and returned to see everything changed.

Andromeda had stayed locked in her bedroom with no interruptions all day but, after supper, Cygnus and Druella threw open the door, demanding answers.

“I finally know what this defiance is about that stupid Mudblood boy from Hufflepuff!”

“No, no it’s not!”

“It must be. Bellatrix told your mother and I all about him.”

“No, that’s not true! There is no boy!”

“Don’t lie, Andromeda, what have we told you about lying?”

A little before midnight, Narcissa, who had surprisingly not heard any of the argument that evening, pulled herself up the stone wall and through her window. She landed on the wooden flooring with a thud, looking up to see her parents standing there, Druella tapping her heel impatiently.

“Where have you been?” her mother demanded, blue eyes cold.

“I ―” started Narcissa, scrambling to her feet.

“Never mind that,” Cygnus waved a hand dismissively, “we’ll deal with your sneaking about later. For now, we must talk about your sister.”

“Bellatrix?” the girl asked instinctively. Bellatrix was always her parents’ favorite; the perfect example of a pureblooded daughter, graduated with high grades at Hogwarts but destined to become Voldemort’s right-hand witch in the coming years.

“No,” Druella shook her head. “Andromeda.”

“You see, Flower,” explained Cygnus, using Narcissa’s childhood nickname, “Andromeda wasn’t always telling us the truth. She was―is―a Mudblood apologist and wants to marry one. She believes that they are the same as us and that Pureblood society should be abolished.”

Narcissa pretended to be shocked, although she already knew of Andromeda’s stance on Muggleborn rights. “I cannot believe her.”

“We can hardly wrap our heads around it, too,” said Druella. “Your father and I told your sister that she is no longer welcome in this household, unless she gives up this progressive nonsense. She chose to leave. And, because of that, you are not to try to contact her.

“We understand how close you and Andromeda were when you were young girls, but she’s changed since then, Flower. She’s not the same sister you knew. If you do contact her, and your father and I find out, you will be asked to make the same choice of her,” she finished. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mother, I understand,” nodded Narcissa.

“Good,” Cygnus kissed the forehead of his youngest daughter before turning on his heel and stalking out of the pink-painted bedroom.

“You’re a good girl, Flower. You’d never let a Mudblood into your heart,” said Druella, also kissing Narcissa’s head before leaving. “Don’t go to bed too late. The Malfoy’s are coming over for morning tea tomorrow.”

Silent tears fell from her eyes as her mother closed the mahogany door.

“But I already have let a Muggleborn into my heart,” Narcissa whispered to no one in particular, unable to say the offensive slur out loud.

Instead of going to bed as Druella asked, she crept back outside and down the wall to the meadow, where everything made sense, everything was real.

Narcissa laid in a patch of wildflower and thought about Lily Evans.

They’d met in first year, Severus introducing them. Lily and Severus had been close as children and Narcissa and Severus were fast friends since the Sorting ceremony.

Lily had been nervous around Narcissa at first, slightly cowering behind Severus every time they all hung out, in a very un-Gryffindor way. But by the beginning of second year, Lily was more comfortable around Narcissa, going out of her way to talk to her in between and during classes. Eventually, they’d grown closer to one another than they’d ever been with Severus, running off to the Forbidden Forest to explore the wide terrains when bored on the weekends.

“Is it hard being a Muggleborn, Lily?”

“Yeah, all the time. Other people like calling me names and jinxing me, but it’s not as bad having you and Severus as friends.”

“You’re my closest friend, Lily, do you know that?”

“Yeah, I know. You’re my closest friend too, Cissa.”

“Cissa?”

“I think it’s a cute nickname. What do you think?”

“I… like it. Thank you.”

At the end of fifth year, when Severus had called Lily that horrific word and she cut him out of her life, Narcissa followed suit.

“You can’t believe that I actually meant to call Lily a ‘Mudblood’. It was a heat of the moment thing that just slipped out!”

“How do you accidentally call someone that word, Severus! It’s absolutely disgusting!”

“She’s my best friend! And she was frustrating me―ow, Narcissa! You can’t just hit me!”

“You are to never go near her again, you hear? There are no excuses for what you’ve done; you know how she feels about this extremism you’re getting into and to call her that word because you were angry at her for calling out your shit.”

Narcissa comforted Lily the summer between their fifth and sixth years via letters sent by owls and, by the time they were back at school in September, their friendship was strengthened at a new level.

They told each other everything, from silly school gossip to family troubles. They read books to one another and told jokes and sang both Muggle and witchy songs alike.

Lily had been rambling about the rights of merpeople when Narcissa realized she liked Lily, no, loved Lily more than a best friend should. So, like any curious individual did, she pulled the redhead close, interlocking their lips.

Lily didn’t hesitate; she kissed Narcissa back immediately.

Narcissa sighed, taking a drag of her cigarette. Life was so much better at Hogwarts, where Lily was. Luckily, there were only a few more weeks of summer holiday…

***

“We’re going to be late to class.”

“Fuck class. This matters more than class.”

“ Narcissa Alexandria Black .”

Narcissa pulled away from her girlfriend, giving Lily a feigned expression of pain. “Full name? Ouch, darling, that stings.”

The redhead threw her head back in laughter. “You have a beautiful name, Cissa.”

“Everyone in my House called me a narcissist for my first three years at Hogwarts.”

“But can you really blame them for that horrible nickname? You were quite self-absorbed.”

“Oi,” Narcissa lightly slapped Lily’s shoulder.

“Hey, I said that you were self-absorbed. Past tense,” she reasoned. “You’re not anymore, of course. Now, you’re the perfect mix between confident and kind. The right amount of cockiness so no one thinks you're a bitch.”

“Aw, you’re the sweetest.”

“I try,” Lily grinned, bright eyes sparkling from joy. She hopped off the sink counter, brushing her skirt in a useless attempt to straighten it. “We really should start towards Slughorn’s class. It’ll take us at least five minutes to walk there and we still have to split up so no one sees us and―”

“Lily Juniper Evans,” Narcissa put her hands on Lily’s shoulders, towering over the shorter Gryffindor, although still making perfect eye contact. Crystal blue met jade green.

Despite Lily’s protests of ‘wow, look who’s using full names now!’ Narcissa continued on. “Don’t stress out,” she said, “we’ll get to Potions on time. Your reputation as the most wonderful Head Girl to ever grace Hogwarts’ hallowed halls will remain spiffy.”

“‘Spiffy,’” repeated Lily with a slight snort. “That’s a funny word, don’t you think? A real debutante would use that.”

She rolled her eyes. “I was a real debutante ― thank you very much ―and I was really fucking good at it.”

“How can someone be good at being a debutante?”

“I’m done with this chitter-chatter, Evans, let’s go to class or I’ll dock you points.”

“You’ll dock me? No way! I’ll dock you points.”

“Sure, you will, darling.”

“You’re insufferable.”

“Love you, Lils.”

“Love you more, Cissa.”

While on their way to Potions, the two decided that Lily would be the first one to walk into the classroom and that Narcissa would be five minutes late.

“Are you sure you don’t mind being late to class?” Lily stopped dead in her tracks, furrowing her eyebrows.

“I’m sure, I don’t mind,” replied Narcissa.

And she really didn’t; Slughorn had always been a good teacher, yes, and Narcissa had always been a good student in Potions. She just never had any interest and was all for missing part of class; Slughorn would never give one of his most talented students a detention, anyways.

“Come on, Evans, it's seventh year,” James whined, running a hand through his unruly curls, “just give me a chance. One date, that’s all I’m asking for.”

Lily looked up from the potion she was stirring, to examine her table partner with a raised eyebrow. She tilted her head and tapped her chin with her free hands, a sorry attempt to appear deep in thought. “No,” she said at last.

James groaned, hanging his head. “Why not?”

“Well, for starters, you’re much too desperate.”

His mouth hung open from shock. “Too desperate?” he demanded.

“Yes; you’ve asked me out, Merlin, how many times? At least ten times within the past two months. It’s a little obsessive, if you ask me,” explained Lily, calmly, flipping through pages in her N.E.W.T.-level Potions textbook. “And, secondly, you’re Head Boy. We already have a professional relationship; we couldn’t risk that by going out romantically.”

“So,” James replied, “are you telling me that you’d go out with me if I weren’t Head Boy? Because I’ll go to Dumbledore right now―”

“No, I’m not going out with you because you're desperate,” she said, looking up from her textbook. “The thing about Head Boy is just an added reason. Although, I would say it’s very valid. Besides, I’m already with someone else.”

James sputtered, at a complete loss for words. “But―I―who―what did you say?”

Lily’s gaze flickered towards Narcissa, who was working alongside Lucius Malfoy at the far end of the classroom, for a split second. She focused back on James. “You heard me right.”

“This has completely rocked my world,” he sat down on a stool, gripping the worktable for support.

“Sorry, mate,” Lily brushed a hand over his shoulder, teasingly, before moving it to pick up a knife. “But can you cut this root for me? Cheers.”

James took the knife and started dicing the roots, while Lily jotted notes down on a small page of parchment.

She glanced up for a brief moment to see Narcissa staring at her. Lily gave a soft smile, which Narcissa returned immediately, before turning her head towards Lucius, who had demanded very loudly for Narcissa to fetch some extra materials. Lily kept her eyes on her girlfriend, eyes following her body all the way to the material cabinets.

“Damn, if you’re gonna break my heart, Evans, you could at least help me with this potion,” James’ scratchy voice broke Lily’s trance.

She spun towards her potions partner, a fake smile plastered in place of her real one. “Of course,” she snapped, picking up the textbook to read off the direction for the rest of the potion.

***

Narcissa was smoking in an abandoned corridor, completely in the dark. She liked it that way, it reminded her of home. It was ten minutes after curfew and Lily passed by, her wand lighting the way forward to catch any students out of bed.

“That was quite a show Potter gave today,” she grabbed Lily’s wrist, pulling her close.

“Merlin, Cissy, you scared the shit out of me,” Lily dropped her wand in shock, moving her free hand to her chest in an attempt to slow her increasing heart rate.

“Sorry,” the Slytherin laughed, “but, still, Potter was acting more lovesick than usual.”

She groaned. “I know… it was so embarrassing.”

Narcissa hummed, brushing a stray lock of hair behind Lily’s ear. “I thought it was cute.”

“Cute? Potter?”

“No, not Potter,” she rolled her eyes. “Just how infatuated he is with you―”

“More like obsessed with me―”

“I understand where he’s coming from.”

Although Lily’s pale cheeks darkened with a rose-pink blush, she responded confidently, voice even. “Oh, really?”

“Uh-huh. Who wouldn’t be infatuated with you? You’re a beautiful person―inside and out―have a magnificent personality, and are so fucking witty and intelligent.”

Lily’s composure broke and she giggled, high pitched and nervous, cheeks turning an even darker, beet red shade. “Thank you,” she said at last.

“You don’t have to thank me, I was just pointing out the facts,” Narcissa cupped Lily’s face in her hands, fingers brushing softly over her lips.

Putting her hands on Narcissa’s waist, Lily lightly tugged the blonde closer to her, locking lips with a breath.

“You should stop smoking,” Lily whispered. “It’ll kill you.”

“I’ll quit,” said Narcissa, “just for you, my love.”

She quit because the taste of Lily’s lips on hers were softer, sweeter than anything Narcissa ever experienced; she quit smoking by the end of seventh year.

[bisluthq]

Wow I just listened to the DVF podcast and... yeah the way she talks about Josh, she deeply admires and respects him. But I must admit after listening to that podcast, I do understand why Karlie and Tay got along. They have a lot of common ground actually and similar life experiences. She is with Josh but Nat I don't understand why you always heavily imply that T + K would be a bad match?

Well so firstly I thought they were a worse match when I started doing research into Karlie than I do now because I get it a bit more. Like I understand their friendship. They had the envy/jealousy thing anchoring it, and then they had a bunch of shit in common like cancer parents, a history of bullying, finding commercial success in high school and trying to maintain friendships back home, tight-knit family dynamics, and yes baking and gym and to a lesser degree partying and film and shit. 

The reason I still think they’re a bad match ROMANTICALLY and tbh I think the friendship was always bound to fuck out is they have pretty polar opposite standpoints on privacy and life in general and that chasm got worse over the course of their friendship. Karlie LOVES attention in a way that Taylor, while also appreciating fans and stuff, doesn’t. Karlie enjoys oversharing, she enjoys bragging about her life, and she enjoys having the opportunity to hobnob with the rich and famous. As much as she likes going back to her family, she loves the high life, and fair enough. Taylor is a lot more confusing on this issue. She genuinely doesn’t seem to understand a lot of expensive shit (e.g. she doesn’t get fashion at all) and she isn’t into fancy shit. She prefers doing really ordinary activities and very famously liked to still do her own shopping through Fearless and stuff. She has said she misses driving herself around all the time. She has gone to efforts to find places she won’t get found.

Also Karlie doesn’t beef with anyone ever. She is non confrontational and will NEVER piss someone off, even to stand up for herself. Her in-laws were shitting on her on main for like SIX YEARS and she sucked it up. She is just... not the kind of person to fight with people. And while Taylor claims to not love the drama because it loves her, the point is Taylor doesn’t let people shit on her. She goes full mad woman. 

And I mean I think that was one of the first things they really couldn’t agree on because Karlie couldn’t take a hard stance on Snakegate. It’s just... antithetical to who she is. But for Taylor, being like “idk this person is nice most likely idc” is reaaaaallllyyy not her energy.

Then, again, there’s the privacy/sharing stuff issue. Karlie has historically bragged about her life and she uses everything - from Josh to her sisters to her friends - as kind of a trophy to dust off. Which isn’t Taylor tbh. She had that in 1989 era to a point but for instance she was still friends with Selena and Abi and they weren’t seen that often. She’s not an exhibitionist in the same way.

It’s not that either attitude is right or wrong. 

But I don’t think they could’ve ever worked as longterm BFFs because of a fundamental difference in lifestyle priorities and they would’ve been terrible romantic partners for one another IMO.