#let me tell you i was fucking losing it when i read it
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pixie-felix · 2 days ago
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a/n: this fic has nothing to do with food.
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why yes I did make these GIFs especially for this fic thank you for noticing
Something to read while we're waiting for the results of the no thoughts/hard thoughts poll. If you want a soundtrack, Hey Daddy (Daddy's Home) by Usher fits pretty well (no daddy kink in the fic though).
Smut under the cut, minors dni.
comfort eating.
You’d been staring at this damn code for so long you might’ve burned it into your eyeballs. Somewhere, in the distance, you’re vaguely aware of the apartment door opening and closing, and someone calling out that they're home.
But by now you’re so obsessed with trying to find whatever formatting fuck up you made, that even the metallic jingle of keys falling into the “let’s-not-lose-this-shit” bowl doesn’t bring you back into the real world.
It’s not until your laptop physically moves out of your hands that you realise. Chan is home.
Sitting on his heels in front of you, he gently picks the computer up off your lap, his expression a mixture of concern and understanding. One workaholic recognises another.
“Is everything backed up?” He too knows the pain of a well meaning friend trying to help by tidying up, and accidentally erasing hours of hard work.
“Cloud and hard drive. And external hard drive. Possibly tattooed on my retinas also." He nods and carefully sets it on the side table, snorting quietly when you get to the part about your eyeballs. The little crease between his brows remains though.
“You told me you were going to take today off…”
You'd only meant to do a few lines of code, just to check for errors and maybe add a function or two. And yet here you are, sitting in the exact same spot from this morning, neck and shoulders aching from being hunched over your laptop for…
7 hours.
Chan rests his chin on your knees, head tilted to the side as he looks up at you like a lost puppy.
“Baby…”
No. Wait. Puppies don't sound like that. Or look at you like that. Or rub soothing, promising circles with their thumbs on the bare skin of your calves.
You're suddenly very aware still in your pajamas. If you can call it that. Really it's just one of Chan's old t-shirts, the fabric worn soft, always smelling like him even though you slept in it- and not much else.
Yeah, Chan's definitely not giving you puppy eyes.
The wolf is here tonight.
And he wants to play. You can tell from the subtle smirk that quirks the corner of his mouth when you audibly swallow.
“How… how was work?��
“Long. Busy. Tiring.” He punctuates his sentences with slow kisses on your knees, the closed mouth kind that still manage to feel anything but chaste. “Jisung dyed his hair blue. Felix's is no longer blond. Hyunjin cut all his hair off. Someone said something about a kiwi fruit and now the stylists are all freaking out.”
His tone is light, almost absent minded, but his touch has progressed from soothing circles to something a little firmer, a little more… demanding. And as his hands slowly creep up your legs, you're fairly certain you know what he wants.
“Chan…”
“Yes, baby?” His lips stretch into something that could almost pass for an innocent smile, if it wasn't for the fact his fingers have worked their way up to the hem of his t-shirt, slowly teasing the fabric further up your legs.
“Wh-what are you doing?”
“Well…” his fingers sweep under the fabric, inching closer and closer to where arousal is bubbling in your belly, still carefully punctuating his words with kisses on your skin, “I figured, since we're both so... stressed…” his fingers finally brush against your panties and you shiver. “I could help you relax a little.”
“Wh-what a-about you?”
He’s tracing, teasing along the edges of your underwear, watching you bite your lip to keep your cool. He likes it when you try to stay quiet. It makes it so much more satisfying when you start crying his name like it's the only word you know.
And then the bastard licks up your thigh, tugging your panties down and saying the magic words:
“I thought I'd indulge in a little comfort eating.”
You didn't make it to the bedroom. You barely made it off the sofa. Instead, Chan just yanked you forward, laid back on the rug, and now you're riding his face in the middle of the living room. Making the kinds of noises you thought only existed in hardcore porn.
His arms are locked around your legs, holding you in place as he grinds you up and down on his tongue. Your hands are twisted into his hair, partly for balance, partly as an anchor… but mostly because when you tug on it Chan moans into your cunt and that feels so good.
He's already tongued you through one orgasm, licking you out like you are his favourite candy. He's so drunk on your pussy that he's murmuring the kind of filth that would usually make him blush -m’ baby tastes so GOOD, w’nna drown in thi’s pussy- though his words are almost completely obscured by the wet, sloppy sounds of him giving you the messiest head you've had in months.
It is amazing, and it's incredible, and Chan is clearly having the time of his life as another orgasm coils in your belly, ready to spring. But he's playing games with you now, teasing you with the gentlest flicks of his tongue, keeping that high juuuust out of reach.
Really, it's his fault that you can't help but yank his hair a little harder, grind down on his face harder, and then you're out of control, jerking your hips back and forth on his face until it hits.
And oh boy how it hits, gushing all over Chan's face, ripping all your dignity away as you buck your hips into his tongue, chasing the high rushing through you from your head to your toes.
You don't always squirt, but Chan loves it when you do.
His moans almost drown out yours, so loud he's practically shouting, definitely disturbing the neighbours with the string of enthusiastic cuss words and filth pouring off his tongue (that's right baby, cum on my face, fucking drown me in your cunt, jesus fucking christ-)
It takes you a minute to come back to yourself, Chan still desperately eating you out, working his tongue all over you like he's trying to lick you clean.
But the more he uses his tongue the wetter you get, the more your hips shake, and the closer you are to another orgasm.
One you're not sure you can handle.
You try to lift up a little, give him space to breathe, and your man straight up growls at you, yanking you back down on his face and sucking on you harsh enough to make you yelp. Reminding you who is in charge, he grazes your clit with just the gentlest scrape of his teeth...
And that orgasm you weren't ready for? Hits you like a railway train. You're aching and overstimulated and absolutely powerless to do anything other than thrash around and cry as Chan keeps sucking on your goddamned clit like the devil himself couldn't stop him.
You might've blacked out for a second. Or three.
It's only when you finally come to a gasping, shuddering stop that Chan finally gives you the two gentle taps on your ass that mean you can get off his face now (safewords aren't really an option when your mouth is full).
Except you're so worn out from relentless overstimulation that it's less of a dismount and more just you collapsing in a graceless heap, legs shaking and thighs aching from being held apart for so long.
Boneless and pliant, it's no effort at all for Chan to scoop you up into his arms and carry you princess style to your shared bedroom. You're barely awake as he tucks you into bed and crawls in beside you, nuzzling your hair as you curl up into his chest.
You've almost asleep when a Very Important Thought occurs
“Channie…”
“Yeah baby?”
“You didn't get to cum. Don't you need to cum? Y’wanna blowjob or sumthin’?”
Chan huffs a quiet laugh into your hair. You're so cute when your words are all sleep slurred.
“I already got what I wanted.”
You’re mumbling something about not playin' fair and don't w’nna be selfish, but you're practically unconscious anyway so he just kisses the top of your head and pulls you closer into his chest.
“You can make it up to me in the morning, if it bothers you so much.”
*It turns out that you will in fact, not be making it up to Chan in the morning. Because when he finds all the carpet burn on your knees, he has a minor breakdown and refuses to let you do anything all day.
Urgh, I feel like this is way, way too short, too rushed, and just generally had the potential to be so much better 😂😭 But I wanted to get it it out of my drafts before it gets lost in the poll fics. I wrote this on my phone, so it's probably riddled with spelling and formatting errors 😂 please forgive me. It's hard to write when the house is full and privacy is limited. Just 3 more days until the No Thoughts/Hard Thoughts closes 👀 thank you to everyone that's voted or shown interest, I hope my writing doesn't let you down.
p.s. I was gonna start this fic with the following GIF but not everyone wants a giggle with their word🍤 so that wouldn't have been very cash money of me.
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m.list
hard thoughts poll
tagslist is open
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revelboo · 15 hours ago
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💌
Hello 👋 new anon here! Just a Blitzwing appreciator here to tell you my thoughts 💭
How pent up is this mech? Tied between wanting to hunt the reader down, or just keeping them pinned beneath him.
The way Blitzwing reacts to the reader touching him- (GOD DAMN) I could feel the tension through the screen. He seemed almost addicted to them towards the end 🧐 (I want him to bite me)
And how he just decided “you 𝐚𝐫𝐞 coming with me.” (PLEASE-)
I have much to say- but that can wait.
Merry Christmas! 🎄
Thank you for your hard work <3 Always a treat to read your works!
Hi and thank you! Getting to this one a bit late- but he’s very pent up 🤣 constantly struggling with himself at this point.
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Hello Helicopter Pt 3
Blitzwing x Reader
• Heart hammering in your chest so hard you’re wondering if you might actually have a heart attack. You draw your knees up against your body in the seat you’d found yourself in when the giant alien robot has come apart around you and reformed into some sort of aircraft. An experience you never want to repeat. Aware that you’re still naked and dirty, that his excess is currently making a mess in his seat, and that he’s humming what sounds suspiciously like Three Blind Mice. He’d called you mouse more than once, you remember. “Where are you taking me?” Voice wavering more than you like, because you’d done what he’d wanted. And sure, he’d never said he’d let you go, but you’d sort of assumed he would when he was done.
• “Home,” he says, feeling you flinch at his voice like you hadn’t really expected an answer. “You’re making a mess.” Shuddering, he can feel the wetness in his seat. Hears your sullen protest of, ‘it’s your mess.’ And then he’s cackling and seething at the same time that you’d dare talk back, wobbling in the air. Hating and loving it. “Our mess,” he adds, laughing. Remembering the desperate way he’d claimed you again and again. Lost in the feel of you and the sounds you’d made.
• Slapping a hand against the console in front of you as the aircraft shudders around you, nosing up then drifting sideways, you close your eyes. “If you don’t stop that, I’m going to be sick,” you mutter as he levels out at the threat. Home. Where is home for a giant, psychotic alien? “You can’t just keep me like a pet.” Or, more likely a toy. His own personal sex toy. Shuddering, you try to breathe through the incoming panic. Because you’re not just going to lay down and take it. Well, not again. Giving him what he’d wanted was what had gotten you into this mess in the first place.
• “I believe I can do whatever I want,” he retorts. Dares to argue with me? Comes the angry thought, the one that wants to pin you. And he’s humming again, unable to stop. Struggling to get himself together as he loses altitude, expecting the screaming this time when he transforms and catches you. “Little, tasty mouse.” Shuddering, as his personalities fight for control again, he heads into the base. By some miracle, no one’s about to see him with you. It’s not like he cares, but he’s eager to get you to his quarters. Find someplace to put you and get some space between you and himself so he can think. Frag you senseless for that attitude. A little taste of you. No. Not until he figures this obsession out.
• Dangling from his servos as he enters what you assume are his quarters, your breath catches at the chaos of the room. It looks like a wild animal has been loose inside. The walls gouged and dented. Broken furniture. Odds and ends everywhere. A tire, a pile of street signs, a very sad and possibly dead young palm tree in a planter. There’s alien glyphs all over the walls. Whatever it says, seems to be repeated over every wall. Your alien fuck buddy is definitely not okay in the head. Turning, he sets you on a flat metal surface. And rocks slightly staring down at you, face blurring as his servos flex into big fists and relax again. Not daring to move in case he pounces you thinking you’re running again, you watch as he finally settles on the calm face. The cold one.
• Staring down at you sitting on your hip on his berth, there’s an unsettled feeling that twists through him. Torn between wanting to reach for you and to put space between you. Because he’d thought you’d calmed him, but the chaos is worse now. Those other thoughts struggling to take over. Wants to turn away. Leave you so he can think, but finds himself lunging for a dirty cleaning rag on the floor and dropping it on you as you flinch. “Don’t try to escape. Please, do. Run,” he growls, rocking and bracing a palm on the berth as you lean away, but don’t bolt. And there’s something that might be disappointment about that spilling through him. Realizing he’d wanted to catch you again, claim you again. Hand trembling, he reaches and strokes his servo over your hair as you try to duck before reaching up to push at his servo. And the chaos stills again for a second, spark thrumming as his lips part at the blessed quiet as you stare up at him with frightened, upset eyes, you hand on him. Chaining the madness with a touch. Still there, but not at odds with him. Those other voices united with the thought that you’re his.
Previous
Well, it's kill or be killed
And one day we'll get the best of them
Hello helicopter, are you listening?
Nobody seems to care
Nobody ever learns
Are we ever gonna get it right?
Are we ever gonna start making sense
And stop pretending that we care?
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bad-and-drawn-that-way · 3 days ago
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Drops this and runs with a tentative promise of a part two
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Right Trap, Wrong Prey [NSFW Vox x Reader] - Part 1
Read on Ao3
You were going to kill Alastor.
“A simple errand, just a little favor,” he had said. Yeah right. Turns out a simple little favor was getting thrust face-first into yet another trap Alastor’s nemesis had planted in an attempt to kidnap and do lord knows what to the annoying deer that used you.
Now here you were, trapped in a room without any idea of where you had been teleported to and tied head to toe in thick cables that tightened around you like a modern mummy every time you struggled.
“Ahahaha, get absolutely fucked, Alastor!” Vox boasts as he steps into the room with bravado up the ass. “I can’t believe it took you this long to-”
He stopped in his tracks at the sight of you. You give a stiff wave with your hand sticking out of the wires and a deadpan smirk. 
“Who the fuck are you?” He asks flatly, not moving an inch.
You wince, blurting out your name before you can stop yourself.
“Right, right,” he nods as he mimics pinching where his brow would be. A habit in his past life, perhaps. “And where is Alastor?”
“Probably back at the hotel laughing his ass off at both of our expense,” you grumble.
“Mhmm, of course,” Vox nods again, closing his eyes. “Excuse me just a moment,” he says, shooting you the prize-winning grin you saw plastered across the better half of hell. 
You watch as he promptly spins on his heel, marches out of the room, and lets the door slide shut behind him. You wince as you hear a series of loud crashing sounds and angry screaming coming from an incredibly obvious source.
The door slides open, and he waltzes right back in, dusting off his suit and giving it a tug for good measure. “Right then, so you’ve given me your name. I’m assuming you’re associated with that hotel. Mind telling me how?”
You sweat internally as he asks the question. You had hoped he’d lose interest in you, maybe rough you up a bit at worst and send you on your way. Questions were dangerous. They’d been dangerous ever since you got cursed with the inability to lie.
“Actually, I mind a lot,” you huff. At least you didn’t mind being truthful for that one. You didn’t need an overlord poking around your head. It was bad enough when Alastor had discovered your unfortunate quirk. Charlie had to intervene to keep him from abusing the power trip, finding your forced honesty incredibly hilarious. 
Vox rolls his eyes. “You know, I’m not sure why I asked like that!” He grins before waving his hand to the side. “Considering, I d̷o̴n̵'̷t̷ ̵c̶a̵r̵e̷ what you want.” 
As his smile drops, so do you. The cocoon of cables around your body suddenly loosens. A few cables barely catch you before your face smacks against the ground. You yelp as the wires tighten around your limbs and yank you back into the air, leaving you face-to-face with an angry Vox. 
“Now then, let’s try this again,” he says with a tense yet chipper tone. “What do you know about Alastor?”
You struggle against your bindings with a grunt, spilling the information you know with far less resistance than you liked. “He’s the hotel manager. He wants to use Charlie for something. It’s obvious to everyone but her. I don’t know what.”
Vox scoffs, “Oh, come on. Why don’t you tell me something I don’t know?”
“Vaggie confided in me that he made a deal with Charlie.”
Shit.
You and Vox stare at each other, both shocked that such crucial information just slipped from your lips so easily. He was expecting to have to torture and interrogate you for hours before sending your mangled pieces back to the hotel as a gift. Alastor was elusive and discreet. But you had just gone and given away confidential information like an unwrapped gift with the tag still on it.
“No… fucking way,” he breathes as his face breaks out into a huge, awestruck grin.
You blanch as he puts a hand to his head and starts laughing uncontrollably. “Y-You did not just fucking tell me that! Seriously? Are you for real?”
Your face heats with a mix of shame for betraying Vaggie’s trust like that and embarrassment at his amusement. “S-Shut the fuck up! I didn’t…”
Vox snorted as he calmed down. “Didn’t what? Mean to cave within five seconds of being in front of an overlord? I thought all you idiots at the hotel were stupidly brave. Guess the princess’s shiny ideals finally started bringing in the cowardly types.”
“I’m not a fucking coward,” you snarl as you try to grab him. Your bindings only yank back, restraining you further. A snap is your only warning before the cables burst to life with electricity. You barely process your own scream, too lost in the blaring pain searing through your body.
You gasp as he snaps again, holding his poised fingers before you to prove a point. The shocks wracking your body cease and the message is clear.
”You know… you’re quite feisty,” he hums. “Most people would beg for mercy or grovel at my feet, saying that they’ll do anything for me to let them go.”
He stepped closer again as his eyes kept their gaze on you.
”You could stand to learn a thing or two from them.”
You smirk with false bravado, free to speak your mind without him prompting you like before. “I've lived with an egocentric prick like you for months now," you say, spitting at his cheek defiantly. "I know begging wouldn't change a thing.’
“Ohoho, not so cowardly after all,” Vox grins sharply with a twitching eye as he wipes his face. He snaps, and sure enough, your screams fill the room once more. He lets it go on for longer this time before giving you relief with another snap.
“Now then,” Vox begins, holding up his fingers again. “What deal did Charlie make with Alastor?”
Your eyes widen, and you clamp your mouth shut this time. With enough warning, you could at least try to resist the urge. However, it didn’t take long for the strain of resisting the magic to take its toll.
Vox watched curiously, quirking a brow as you seemed to struggle, almost like you were holding your breath. He’s just about to snap his fingers when you suddenly gasp and blurt out, “She owes him a favor.”
For a moment, he just stares at you. Your head is dropped, your face burning with frustration and shame. You hated this. This stupid curse had always been a pain, but now it was actively hurting and endangering the people you cared about. All because Alastor couldn’t be damned to clean up his own messes.
Vox’s brows furrow as he examines you. You didn’t look afraid, not like you were trying to give the information in exchange for avoiding pain. The timing was off, and the panic in your expression wasn’t quite right.
He looked at you like he was trying to unravel a tangled necklace. He didn’t need to solve a whole puzzle; he just needed to find the right loop and it would all unravel for him easily. 
“Why did you answer my question just now?” He asks.
Your eyes widen as fear courses through your veins. “Nononono,”  you thought to yourself as you struggle to keep your mouth shut. You squeeze your eyes shut tight, willing yourself not to speak.
This time, Vox makes no threats. He simply watches as it gets harder for you to breathe. He watches as your face flushes and sweat beads above your brow. You pant heavily as your head begins to pound. A tickle in your throat grows into a clawing pain until it feels like you need to cough, gasp, and scream all at once. 
You whine, trembling under the strain until finally, you gasp, “I’m afflicted with a curse that forces me to speak the truth.”
Vox’s eyes widen as you look down at the floor in a dazed shock, catching your breath. He processes the information as a small grin spreads on his lips. “Interesting,” he hums.
He suddenly unbuttons his jacket and grabs a chair, pulling it up before you. He drapes his coat over the chair, thinking to himself as he sits in front of you.
He rests his chin on his hands, elbows on his thighs as he makes you wait in tense silence. No one had ever reacted like this before and the quiet unnerved you.
“Do you have any other information about Alastor that would prove useful to me?” Vox asks with an unreadable tone.
“No,” you say quietly, knowing it was pointless to resist now that he knew. You dangled from the cables that suspended you like a broken doll. Tears fell from your eyes, dirtying the ground with your guilt. You’d completely betrayed the hotel. The friends that you considered family, the ones who took you in. You failed them.
Vox hums, catching one of the tears as it falls, observing it as the light glistens through the drop reflecting on his metallic claw.
“Are you afraid of Alastor?” He asks, catching you off-guard. 
“Of course I am,” you answer bluntly. 
“Mm,” Vox nods noncommittally. “Good.” 
The cables shift slowly, lowering you to your knees. It’s surprisingly gentle, unlike before. A cable wraps around your neck as your wrists are shifted to cross behind your back.
Vox lowers a hand, looking down at you as he lifts your chin. The cable around your neck gradually tightens, making it uncomfortable but not impossible to breathe. At least not yet.
“Another question for you,” he smirks as the tip of his clawed finger drags under your chin, forcing you to lock eyes with him. “A̴r̵e̶ ̶y̶o̸u̸ ̴a̸f̸r̷a̸i̶d̸ ̷o̷f̷ ̵m̴e̸?̶”
Your breaths are coming in quicker now. There's not enough air. You're on the verge of hyperventilation as the cable constricts around your neck like a snake.
“Y-Yes,” you gasp as you strain against your binds. You could only imagine the bruises blooming around your limbs and how a matching necklace of blue and purple was about to follow suit. 
Vox’s eyes flashed as he grinned, dead pixels spilling from his lips as he eyed you like a shark drawn to blood in the water. 
“Oh, good girl,” he teases as he flicks your chin. The cable around your neck loosens enough to catch your breath, and you gasp. Your head drops, only for it to snap back up as you look at him in shock. Did he just?!
“I’ve decided,” he smirks as he pulls up an electric blue hologram and commands the cables around your dominant arm to loosen until you can pull it free. “You’re going to make a deal with me.”
You scoff, “Like hell, I w- mmph!”
You’re suddenly cut off as Vox’s hand shoots out and grabs you by the face. His palm covers your mouth as his claws dig into the sides of your face, just below your temples. You can feel blood trickle down your jawline as he tilts his head and smiles pleasantly.
“Careful dollface,” he smiles with sharp eyes. “You wouldn’t want to upset me. Not when I’m about to change the fate of your wasted potential.”
You whimper as tears spring to the corners of your eyes. More dead pixels spill from his lips as his grin grows hungrier at the sight.
“You’re going to work for me as one of my… assistants. You’ve shot your friends in the back, and we both know they have no reason to take you back after this. Let’s face it: if they actually cared about you, you wouldn’t even be here right now!”
He lifts you with ease single-handedly off of the ground. “I'll handle your basic needs and you'll tend to mine… A fair trade, don't you think?”
Your eyes widen as you start to struggle. An overlord's needs were a dangerous thing. Sketchy deals, brazen violence, pure debauchery. Nothing good.  You smack at him with your free hand, yelling muffled profanities at him for even implying you’d agree.
He expected this but sighed with a roll of his eyes. “I’d say you’re making me do things the hard way,” he says like it’s a big chore before his eye suddenly flashes with a spiral. “But this is honestly quite easy,” he grins.
Your arm drops as your body goes lax underneath his control. A pleasant hum fills your ears, your eyes drooping as you relax unwillingly with a soft sigh. He smirks, gladly soaking up the power trip of controlling you so easily. “Now then, let’s try that again, shall we?”
He summons a pen and puts it in your hand, lifting your arm to sign the contract. “Sign here and here,” he says in a chipper voice as if you were just some customer getting a warranty instead of a prisoner signing away your soul. 
The second the contract flashes under the deal’s completion, he drops the hypnotic spell over you. You sob as you're dropped to the ground. You’re too wrapped up in losing your freedom to care as the cable from before resecuring your arm behind your back again.
“See, that wasn't so bad,” Vox smugly taunts you as he waves the contract away.
You grit your teeth, torn between wanting to cry and wanting to kill the man before you. “Don’t patronize me…”
Vox smirked as he saw the look in your eyes, knowing he was starting to piss you off. Good. That’s not a fire he sees in someone’s eye often anymore. Everyone is either below him and scared or just another annoying overlord. This was different, and he loved every second of it. He walked closer, standing right before you as he spoke condescendingly.
"Aww, what's the matter, dollface? Don't like being on your knees for me?" He taunts.
You growl, lunging forward and straining against your binds, “I said don’t patronize me!”
Slap!
You blink, completely dazed as you feel the hot sting of the strike on the side of your face. 
Vox frowns at you as he sits up and shakes his hand out. “If I were you, I wouldn't try that again,” he warns.
He knew you would eventually. And he couldn't wait to punish you when the time came.
“Go to Hell,” you growl as you tug against your bindings.
“Suit yourself,” he sighs as he snaps his fingers. You barely have a chance to realize he's only doing that to train you to expect pain as a large cable snakes up out of nowhere and wraps around your neck.
You make the horrible mistake of crying out when the cable squeezes your throat, giving him the exact opening he wanted. Your cries turn into garbled, muffled noises as the rounded end of the cable shoves itself into your mouth, stretching your jaw open impossibly wide.
Vox leans back in his chair with a smirk, watching you as the cable starts to thrust back and forth in a lazy, precise rhythm. The cable pushed just far enough down your throat to make you gag a little each time. 
Drool quickly began to run down your chin as you choked and cried around the fat cable that fucked your throat just a little deeper every time you started to get used to the excruciating pressure. Your eyes roll back as your vision begins to blur. Little black dots dance before your eyes as the foreign sounds of your own garbled moans fill your ears. 
“Hm,” Vox tuts as he looks you over. “Now, that won't do. You’re almost perfect, but…”
Vox waves a hand, and the wires binding you slither across your body and under your clothes. You panic and start to twist and squirm as the cables wrap around your clothes and pull on them until they're yanked off of you with a terrible rip.
Your muffled scream only makes Vox laugh cruelly as your throat bulges against the thick cable around your throat. Just as you feel like you're going to break, the cable finally slithers out of your mouth. You gasp loudly, sucking in air so quickly that you choke on it and descend into a coughing fit.
“That's much better,” Vox smirks as drool pools on top of your exposed tits, dripping down onto your stomach. 
“Now tell me,” he grins as he presses his sleek dress shoe against your crotch. “Do you want to hurt me?” 
You don't expect him to ask that. “Yes,” you gasp between scratchy breaths. 
He grins wider, pressing down on your clit with the tip of his shoe. You jolt with a moan as he rubs against your clit with purpose.
“So fucking easy,” he chuckles. “So defiant, yet completely helpless and so honest. Tell me, brat. Do you want me to do more?”
Your face burned with shame. Your eyes burned with rage. Your throat was sore and abused, your limbs ached, and you had every reason to hate him.
Even so… “Yes,” you admit begrudgingly, adding another sin to weigh upon your back.
“Good girl,” Vox praised as he started to undo his belt buckle. A small wire crept up as he lifted his shoe, zapping your clit. You cry out and jolt, making him groan at the sight of your body.
“Mm, fuck,” he moans as he pulls himself out of his boxers and strokes himself a few times. “Gonna have to thank Alastor for the present. You have no idea what I've got in mind for you, doll. Just wait until I show you to Val.”
Your heart dropped to your stomach at the mention of Valentino. You'd heard the rumors and knew how dangerous the overlord was. His many reputations proceeded him… All of them did. Including the one that made your core heat at the very thought.
Vox noticed the shift in your body and chuckled darkly. He sits up and cups your face as he pulls your face close to his.
“Oh? Did that turn you on, dollface?”
You whimper, squeezing your thighs together as your mind gets cloudier with shameful desire building in your gut. Another zap to your puffy clit made you cry out and whine pathetically.
“O-Okay, fine! Yes, it did! Happy now?” You confess as your face burns.
“Oh, darling,” he purrs as he leans forward, catches your lower lip between his dangerously sharp teeth and tugs. You mewl at the blissfully sharp pain as he releases your lip and smirks. “You have no idea.”
With that, he crashes his lips against yours, hungrily swiping his tongue across your lips, demanding entry. Your entire body comes alive with electricity as you melt underneath the force of his ministrations.
He reaches up and grabs your chest with both hands, kneading tender flesh with dangerous claws. You arch into his touch, trembling from the sharp pricks that make you twitch and whimper as his plasma tongue pushes into your mouth.
He groans, bucking his twitching cock uselessly again the air. “God, you're so fucking hot,” he murmurs against your lips as he pulls back from the kiss.
“Who do you belong to?” He asks roughly against your ear. 
“I belong to you, Vox,” you whimper with tears in your eyes.
“Ohh, fuck that's it, baby,” he groans, licking the trail of tears off your cheek as he jerks himself off. “Say it again. Who owns you, doll?”
“You own me, Vox,” you sob as your head drops.
Vox clicks his tongue and pulls back to loosely grab your face, looking at you with a small frown.
“Call me Sir.”
You moan, shuddering from the command. The entire evening had tilted you off your axis. Up was down and vice versa. You couldn't help but get swept away by the fearful pleasure building in you from the whirlwind of events.
You'd blame it on the stress. The fear. The shock of signing your soul away. That's what made you give in. That's why your body was so desperate for a release. That's why you said, “Yes… Sir.”
Something hot flashed across Vox's eyes as you obeyed him shyly like you were dipping your toes in the water and admitting to yourself that you wanted this. And dear Satan, if he hadn't wanted to teach you to fulfill your potential before, he sure as Hell did now.
“Do you want to serve me?”
No!
“Yes…”
“Do you want me to fuck you?”
No! Not like this! Please! 
“Y-Yes, I do,” you whimper as your body burns with shame. This was ticking so many boxes for you, but it was still mortifying to say how much you craved something like this for a very long time.
“Tell me what you want,” Vox orders directly. “What do you want, Doll?”
You sob as the last of your willpower escapes you. “I w-want you to… To use me,” you whimper.
That was exactly what he wanted to hear.
Vox stood, pumping himself again as he manifested a plasma chain connected to a collar around your neck. He pulled on the chain, making you stumble forward on your knees, your face smacking into his pelvis right next to his throbbing cock.
Your eyes go wide and you feel yourself salivate as you look at it. Vox's eye flashes with a hypnotic spiral in his excitement.
“Suck. Now.”
You were far enough gone that you didn't even need to be hypnotized to obey, already completely enthralled by the sleek cock before you. He was long and thick. Not as girthy as the cable from earlier, but big enough that you'd feel him down your throat for sure. The underside of his length had six glowing cyan ridges, three on each side, and the tip of him was cyan, leaking with clear precum that made you drool.
You lean back, your hands still bound behind your back as you open your mouth and carefully take the head of his cock between your lips. You moan as you swirl your tongue around the tip of him, licking up the salty precum and pressing your tongue against the small slit of his cockhead for more.
Vox groaned lowly as he tangled his claws in your hair. You happily moaned in turn as he shallowly thrust into your mouth, encouraging you to open up and take more of him. You flatten your tongue underneath his length, sucking dutifully as you look up at him with your freshly teary eyes.
Vox throws his head back and moans. “Mm, fuck dollface, you look so good crying on Daddy’s cock like that. Hope you like being on your knees because I've got a spot under my desk and a chain with your name on it.”
Vox's grip suddenly tightens on your head, making your eyes widen as he starts thrusting fast and hard down into your mouth like a fleshlight. You choke and garble on his cock, tears flowing down your face as your eyes roll back in your head.
Vox groans, panting and growling as he loses himself in the pleasure before ripping you off of him, forcing you to look up as you gasp for air.
“You'd like that, wouldn't you? Be a good girl and tell me,” he commands.
You pant heavily, feeling like a complete and utter mess with drool and tears soaking your face, shame and desire soaking your cunt. 
“Y-Yes, Sir,” you gasp, face burning hot with shame. “I'd like that very much.”
“Good little cocksleeve,” he cooes sweely in stark contrast to the way he tightens his grasp on your head and starts facefucking you again. Your garbled moans and cries were music to his ears as he used your wet, sloppy, smartass mouth to please himself. 
“Ohh fuck, you're going to be such a good little stress relief toy when Val's too busy playing with Angel Dust. He gets his toy; it's time I have my own,” he monologues between grunts as he pounds your throat like a pussy.
“Delivered to me right from Alastor himself,” he cackles, twisting the tale to fuel his own fantasies. That one earns him a particularly pleased moan as he starts to thrust into your mouth sloppier. 
Your eyes widen when you realize he's close. You start to desperately thrash against your bindings as you choke on his cock. It only backfires and makes dead pixels spill from his lip as he bucks into you, his balls slapping your chin as he grinds into your face.
“Oh f-fuck,” he groans as he grabs your head and curls in, fucking you deeper and harder, making stars dance across your vision. “You're mine now, you hear me? All fucking m̷i̶n̴e̵!”
You let out a garbled scream as he cums hard down your throat. Your lungs burn as hot ropes of electrifying cum spurt past your lips and down your throat. You choke and sputter as he twitches and moans, grinding his hips against your face like you're a toy and he's in heat. 
“That's it, darling. Take every last drop. Fucking take it.”
Once his cock stops twitching, he pulls out, giving you a much-needed chance to breathe again. He smirks as you cough and hack. The cables around your body loosen and slither away, letting your arms finally drop to your thighs as you catch your breath.
“Tell me, Doll. Did you like that?”
You wanted to scream. You wanted to cuss him out and damn him for playing with your head. But you also wanted more.
“Y-Yes,” you whimper, completely humiliated by the truth.
He salivates. Dead pixels betray his excitement from the conflict between your mind, heart, and body. It was sweet torture that fueled his ego in ways that already had his dick getting hard again.
“Be a good girl and tell me…” he hums as he drags his claws through your hair as he pets your head condescendingly. “What do you want?”
You wanted to kill him.
“I w-want you to fuck me,” you sob, trembling with shame as your body's desire spoke for you and took away your bite.
“Good girl,” he cooes with a smug grin that only grows wider when you glare up at him. “ So honest for me… Now tell me where,” he commands as he squeezes your cheek and gives a little teasing shake. “Come on, use your words. We both know you have it in you.”
You growl, smacking his hand away. You try to bite down your words, refusing to give him the satisfaction.
“Oh, playing this game again, are we?” He grins as he sits down again and watches you struggle. “By all means, go ahead, dollface. I do love to watch you suffer.”
Your fury keeps you grounded as the pressure looms over you. Your fingers claw against the cool, smooth floor as you pant heavily under the growing pain in your head. But it's inevitable. You can't hold out.
“I want you to fuck me,” you gasp through pained tears. “Please…”
Vox's dick twitches hard at the extra little word. “Oh, please, she says,” he grins. “I didn't order you to do that. Look at you, naturally falling into the role you were meant to play.”
Vox stands, looming over you with a predatory aura, like he was about to go in for the kill. 
“Let's make sure you really learn your place.”
You moan as he flips you around roughly. He moves you so you're on your hands and knees again, only to grab a fistful of your hair and yank your head back. 
“We'll have to see if you're as good at taking orders during work as you are when you're desperate for my cock,” Vox chuckles.
Before you can argue or have the chance to regard the audacity of his treatment, he pulls you back and presses his cock into you slowly. You both groan as he takes his time thrusting shallowly into you, pushing a little further in each time.
“B-Bastard,” you gasp despite the way your body rocks back against his. “I'll fucking kill you for this…”
“Oho, by all means, I'd love to see you try,” he chuckles darkly. He lets go of your hair to grab your hips, giving your ass a firm smack that makes you yelp before he digs his claws into your flesh. You cry out as he suddenly fucks the rest of his cock into you with three sharp thrusts accompanied by low growls that make your core clench.
“You know I'm curious,” he hums nonchalantly, like he wasn't knocking the wind out of you with every brutal snap of his hips. “I wonder how you do with multiple questions…”
He stills for a moment, dragging a single claw lazily down your sweat-sheened back as he asks in rapid succession.
"Do you really not want more, dollface? Or do you want me to push you even further? Do more... humiliating... embarrassing things instead? You are completely helpless, aren't you?”
"No," you whimper the first answer as hot shame flooded your system.
"Yes," you gasp the second answer as he slowly trails around your hip, tantalizingly heading straight for your clit.
"Yes," you whimper again as he presses down the tip of his finger against your lower stomach, just above where you were aching.
"Y-Yes," you admit finally with a mix of fear, guilt, and arousal. 
He smirked at your answers, enjoying how you first denied him... and how he managed to break you and make you admit it completely. He loved that shame. He loved the humiliation. He loved the fear you were feeling. Oh, you were just so... perfect like this.
"Aww, good girl... that wasn't so hard now, was it?” He cooes as his finger starts to rub little circles around your puffy clit. “Say it again, dollface. What do you want?”
"It was incredibly hard," you complain with a long whine as your hips buck against his finger and back onto his cock. He didn't even have to move with how your body jolted from the focused stimulation. You were sloppily fucking yourself on his cock all on your own.
Your face was burning at this point. You look away shamefully as you mutter the answer as quietly as possible. "I want more," you sob.
He smirks, tilting your head to look at him, not letting you look away.
"Look at me when you answer. Don't you dare say it too quietly. I want to hear that shame, dollface. Tell me, what do you want so badly? Where do you want me to touch you?" he asks as he puts more pressure on your clit and stops rubbing.
You whimper, curling in on yourself as much as you're able. "I w-want you to touch... my chest... between my legs... everywhere... please," you gasp as the tears finally roll down your face.
"Good girl,” cooes with genuine praise this time. “That's what I wanted to hear. Very good girl..."
He pats your clit as if to say he'd be right back. You jolt as he drags a claw up your stomach, only to suddenly grab one of your breasts tightly. You yelp as he pinches your sensitive flesh and tugs on your hardening nipple. 
"Do you want me to touch you here, dollface?" He asks softly as he reaches around with his other hand, hovering over your heart for a moment before grabbing your other tit.
"Y-Yes," you gasp, whimpering as his thumb rolls your poor nipple cruelly.
He loved watching you jolt. He loved how vulnerable you looked in his hands. And he especially loved the way you answered. And that answer?
"Good girl, oh, I like you like this,” he teases. “Such an adorable little thing in my control. How does it feel, dollface? Do you like it?”
You gasp, your eyes rolling back as he takes both your breasts and lights his claws with electricity. Your back arches, and you scream as he sends wave after wave of voltage straight to your chest.
"Y-Yes!" You sob through your forced shame. “I fucking love it!” You hated this. Hated how humiliating it was. Being forced to admit your body's desires despite never wanting to be in this position in the first place.
"Fffffuck, Vox!" You moan before shooting him a heated glare. "I'll k-kill you! I'll- AAH!" you cry out as he zaps your chest again.
"You'll kill me? You're still saying that, darling?” He chuckled as he zapped you again. 
“I must admit, I’m hurt,” he sighs dramatically over your cries. “I gave you what you wanted, and this is the thanks I get?”
You choke on a moan as he starts thrusting into you again steadily. He gives your tits a good smack before he reaches and squeezes your ass with both hands.
“Apologize, or the next thing I electrocute you with is my dick,” he orders with a savage grin.
Your eyes widen as you shake your head and try to crawl away. His claws dig into your ass, a silent warning that makes you whimper as you stop in place and accept your fate.
“I-I'm sorry,” you sob begrudgingly.
Vox smirks with a pleased hum. "That wasn't so hard, now was it, dollface? Look on the bright side. Good girls get what they want,” he laughs breathily as he fucks you like a bitch in heat.
Your limbs threaten to buckle underneath you as you moan from the sheer pleasure of it all, collapsing against the cool tiles beneath you.
“What do good girls say?” He asks as he slaps your ass hard.
“Fuck!” you cry out from the pain, sobbing as he smacks your ass again.
“Mm, wrong answer. Try again,” he chastises you casually as he strikes you again and again.
“T-Thank you, sir!” You cry out as tears roll down your ruined face. “T-thank you! Thank you! Fuck! Thank you!”
“Thaaaat's it,” he growls as he fucks into you faster. “Fucking Satan, a brat who can't lie? Happy fucking holidays to me,” he laughs cruelly as he moves over you, pulling your hips up so he can plow you properly.
You can't respond, too lost in the pleasure as his cock rams into you over and over. All you can do is babble and moan as your body eagerly sucks him in. Your spirit was defiant, your heart was terrified, but your pussy was thriving as he reshaped it to the will of his relentless cock.
“I hope you're ready for your new life,” he grins as he feels you both approaching the pinnacle that would forever redefine your life's purpose. “Because after this, you're not going anywhere.”
Your eyes roll back, hot tears streaming down your face as you let out a long, guttural moan. His words are the final point that tips the scale in your body's favor, making you cum hard as your mind leaks away through your spasming cunt.
Vox growls, shouting as he slams his hips into yours again and again. Ropes of white hot cum are fucked into you as he pushes himself through the orgasm. He wanted you to remember this night for a long, long time.
You whimper as he finally collapses against you, shoving his cock snugly against your womb.
He lazily pets your hair as you cry quietly, shushing you and kissing your tear-stained cheek.
“Don't worry darling,” he cooes. “You're going to love it here.”
You cry harder as your old life fades from view. You cry because as your body twitches with the aftershocks of his use, you know that he's right. Pride be damned, honor be damned. 
You were going to love your new life.
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pedgito · 2 hours ago
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𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄 | Joel Miller x reader x Tommy Miller
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summary | twisted into the miller brothers web, you find yourself deeply entangled in a complicated situation between the two and hell bent on self-preservation, you discover that running isn't always the best choice.
author's note | i was going to get this out before the end of the year if it was the last thing i did. i have never been so fully engulfed in a fic like this. it's just a little mini series, but i could talk about this shit for hours. thank you to everyone who's listened to my incoherent rambling and especially @gracieheartspedro who nailed down this ending when i was struggling so hard to decide. if you enjoy this silly story as much as me, ily.
content warning | 18+ smut, this is heavily joel miller x reader leaning, cannibalism, gore, mentions of violence, blood, death, joel's territorial <3, lots of unprotected sex going on 'round here, oral (f receiving), pain kink go hard, blood kink and consumption, biting kink, literal love as consumption, restraints, description of wounds from said bites, scarring, omitting a few tags for spoilers but please remember you are responsible for the work you consume, if you are ever feeling uncomfortable, do not continue reading. this is dark fic. that's the only warning i'm giving.
word count —13k, BITTER (part one)
“Killin’ is a viable option.”
Tommy groans, hand rubbing over his face as he leans against the kitchen counter, “They aren’t backwoods folk, Joel. You know that, we gotta be smart.”
“All they gotta do is get the law involved,” Joel points out, “fancy lawyers—“
“We’re selling to half that department,” Tommy argues, a long moment of silence before he adds, “and if you’d stop interrupting I’d tell you I already spoke to ‘em. Said I’d run it by you first before we set anything in stone.”
The big brother seal of approval.
You watch along curiously, stuck in the chair that Joel had a hand gripped around, sandwiched between them both as they volleyed arguments back and forth like they were fighting gladiators shoved in the colosseum—may the best man win.
“I still think we should just kill ‘em,” Joel chirps with finality, glancing briefly over your dumbstruck look, frozen somewhere between fear and shock, their voices fading in and out like muffled conversation, “make sure no one’ll come askin’ questions. Easy. You ain’t never had an issue with it before.”
The letter was still clutched in Tommy’s hand, a list of vague threats and accusations—the weird occurrences around the Miller property, the strange behavior of Tommy’s older brother, the smell. There wasn’t hard evidence, but they weren’t wrong either. A few minutes grazing the property and a look in the barn would confirm anyone’s suspicions—which, speaking of…
“Are you going to kill me now?”
 It was a brave thing to interject with, given Joel’s current hostility around the situation with their nosey neighbors and you, like a pest making a mess of his home. But, instead it was him. His mind—a foreign feeling that he didn’t like or intent to allow to wreak havoc much longer.
He’d kill you if he had to, if that was what it took.
Unsurprisingly, they both ignore you.
“Let me talk to ‘em tomorrow, Joel,” Tommy barters, “see if I can smooth things over.”
“Ya ain’t smoothin’ shit over, we know how this goes—you lose your temper and then we have a mess. Just take care of the fucking problem like I suggested.”
You knew the house, it was the only one within walking distance. Far off, covered by a line of trees and eclectic decor—you never thought much of it, under the impression that everyone in this town was as demented as the Miller brothers, most of the suspicions confirmed as the brothers continued to argue. 
It was an open secret—deranged and fucked-up, but there was full, completely loyalty.
If you had gone digging enough, you would have found out yourself. But, Joel wanted you to know. It takes a killer to know a killer—the wood of the chair cracks behind you as his grip tightens.
“We aren’t gonna hurt you,” Tommy comforts suddenly, a quick glance over of your injuries, “not intentionally, at least—”
“She fell,” Joel explains, a half-truth, “made a damn mess and wasted the scraps for the pigs—”
“Joel,” Tommy warns, returning his gaze to you, “You’ve been good to us, better than most. We can trust each other, alright? Ain’t no reason to think otherwise.”
He was sickeningly sweet, laying it on so thick you see right through the facade. He was upset, rightfully so, but you weren’t sure how much of it was directed at Joel and how much of it was directed at you.
“When did I surpass being a meal?” You turn your attention toward Tommy, flicking your eyes up briefly at Joel, “Was it before or after you fucked me?”
You expect it to be newfound information to Joel, but he doesn’t react in the slightest. He almost smirks, actually. A sudden, miniscule response that you wouldn’t have caught if you weren’t so on edge.
“Now, darlin’—”
“Cut the shit, Tommy,” You retort, “When did it happen?”
“Still a chance, if you’re feelin’ persistent,” Joel taunts.
Tommy shoots Joel a dangerous glare before his face softens.
“The thought never occurred to me,” Tommy replies though you find it hard to believe him, “M’not sayin’ we’ve been this kind to everyone, but with you—s’different. Right, Joel?”
“Well, she does like the taste,” He grins viciously, a showing of teeth that sends your body into a full chill, “ate it right up, loved it.”
Your eyes shoot daggers in his direction and he shrugs, his tongue shoved into his cheek as he moves to stand, turning in a circle on his heels as he leans against the nearest surface.
“I mean it, you’re safe with us,” Tommy assures, “out there—we can’t protect you. And if you think we’re the monsters, you’re in for a rude awakenin’, baby.”
“Don’t,” You chuffle, a short laugh through your nose, “I’ll—I’ll stay, but this,” You wave your finger between him and you, before it circles the group, a discoordinated trio, “I don’t trust either of you and don’t call me that. Don’t call me anything, actually.”
Your anger was justified and Tommy didn’t try to argue, only sinking back in his chair with an ‘I told you so’ look on Joel’s face. Luckily, they leave you to gather yourself, ignoring the subtle sting from the wounds on your legs and your spiraling thoughts—you could wait until nightfall.
That was it—wait long enough until it was dark and they were both asleep and make a run for the only sane people in the nearest vicinity. They could help you and help take the two brothers down in the process, it was a fair victory for the opposing party and your only saving grace.
They retire to their rooms eventually, the insistent chirp of crickets keeping you awake, standing on sore legs as you move around the dark room and pulling on a warm pair of clothes to trek against the nighttime winds. 
You were careful, prying open doors with a quiet effort and allowing the softest steps against the old floorboard as you reached the door, immediately met with the deadbolt lock and an even heftier lock to keep you trapped–or to Tommy, safe. The house was silent aside from the sounds of nature, the occasional howling wind blowing through but you looked around, searching for another path—you had already made it this far, you weren’t going to go scrambling back.
If anything, the backdoor would have the same locks and your eyes scan the windows, closed shut but not inescapable. If either of them decided to wake, they would surely know. 
There was no time to deliberate or weigh the consequences, hurrying toward the living room window that led toward the yard, pulling it up with forceful but cautious precision, ripping at the screen.
It isn’t an easy feat, not nearly the path you would have chose, but you fell to the ground with a deft slump, careful of your fresh bandages and gravel under your hands as you land, wincing as you stand but peering inside of the house cautiously, determining if you needed to make a run for it.
Silence meets you. Dead silence.
The eerie feeling in the distance creeps in, eyeing the house over your shoulder that is still lowly lit but quite the walk, you turn on your heels and make the long walk there, wondering if darting off down the road would be simpler, continuing until you came upon another sign of civilization or normality, anything to save you.
As you grow closer, the muffled melodic tunes coming from the house start to drown out your stream of thoughts, the bass booming from the driveway as you grow closer. You careful approach the steps to their door, pressing a finger into the doorbell as it chimes throughout the house—the music lowers in an instant, quiet enough that you could hear a pin drop, the door ripping open with a forceful gust of air, meet with the fierce scowl of an older gentleman.
It was hard to describe him, but there was so much going on—a peek at the inner house decor that screamed for a touch of neutralness, a mix of beaded necklaces hanging around his neck over a stretched out tank, barefoot as he approached you on the mat at his door.
It only dawns on you now that you hadn’t prepared anything—you were drawing a complete blank.
“You better start talking,” He speaks, a grittiness to his voice that stills you at your core, “botherin’ us in the middle of the night—”
“You’re right,” You blurt out, shaking your head slightly as you realize how abrasive it was, taking a breath before you speak slower, “about Joel and Tommy, you’re right. They’re bad people.”
His expression turns steely, jaw tightening as he straightens his back in an intimidating manner. You couldn’t mistake the whiff of alcohol on his breath, his drifting eyes down the length of your body, slowly realizing that this might have been a mistake.
Self-preservation had always come first, even if you didn’t think the Miller’s were the worst possible people you could have come across, they were unfortunate targets in the moment. 
“They—they are killing,” You point vaguely in the direction of the house, “it’s—the smell, it’s the bodies. They’re murders, you have to help me,” It comes out in a panic and you stutter as the confession rolls off your tongue, his expression only growing dark as time passes.
Fuck, he didn’t believe you. Of course—who would? 
Hey, you’ve got a couple cannibals for neighbors—let’s deal with them.
It was never that easy.
“You don’t think I know?” He responds, stepping into your space to send you stumbling backwards, but his arms lock around your biceps and keep you upright, but not for the reason he should, feeling the sting of pain as he squeezes down hard.
You gasp at the suddenness of it, “N—no, no! You have to believe me!”
“I’ve seen you helpin’ them,” He nods vaguely, “Think I’m gonna believe this shit? Where are they, huh?” The spit from his vicious reaction and volume sprays against your face as he shoves you to the ground, your arms skidding against the cement as you scramble backwards, trying to flee his quickly approaching figure, “They use you as bait?”
He’s over you before you have a chance to roll out of the way, your forearm presses up against his neck as he leers, glancing around for any sign of the brothers—silently praying that he was right in the moment, but you knew there was no one to help. Just you. Just him.
He forces you onto your stomach as your face was smashed into the rock path along the driveway, “Well, good—they can watch,” It makes your blood run cold, sensing the exact implication of his words as you calmly and slyly wrap your fingers around a palm sized rock, curling it in your fist as he leans back on his legs, twisting in his grip and bashing the rock blindly at his face, a grunt releasing from him as you make contact with his skull, falling to the ground with a dead weight as you scramble away breathless.
You stare at the sight, a man near death on his lawn before the whistle fades in—low and melodic as it approaches with the sound of heavy boots and speaking before you can react.
“Well, look at that,” Joel looks on in admiration, a small suspicion of amusement in his tone as he steps onto the lawn and peers over you, hand extended out blindly for help as he cautiously steps around the pooling blood of the now dead man, “little messier than I like, but you got the job done.”
If looks could kill—you’re seething, staring up at Joel with narrowed eyes as you take his hand and stand.
“I’ll give you some credit,” Joel continues, “You’re resourceful but predictable—suppose you can’t trust anyone in this town anymore, can you?”
He’s cocky about it, which pisses you off more. Undoubtedly, he was probably watching you the entire time, waiting in the shadows, undetectable. He’s mastered his craft, he killed people for a living. It wasn’t a mystery how he knew or expected your retaliation. But, his reaction is jarring.
“C’mon, up,” He yanks at your hand and helps you upright, instinctually brushing the clumps of grass and dirt out of your hair with a pinched expression as your eyes slowly drag toward the motion, unmoving out of…not fear. It was something indescribable, flinching at the heat of his hands as his eyes gradually rose toward the upstairs window.
“You know what happens next, right?” Joel asks, kicking at the dead body to roll him on his back, staring down at the lifeless corpse.
You didn’t need the whole speech—murder me now, please. Spare me the misery.
“Alright, alright,” Joel sighs, almost like he’s carrying on a conversation with himself—and with your silence, he was. But, he senses your fear, “well—you can’t just murder one and not the other, you little killer. You’re gonna take care of the other one, too.”
“Joel—I—” The adrenaline rush was waning, the bile in your stomach swimming and swirling.
His face hardens in an instant, forcing his hand over your mouth with a stern shake of his head as your eyes grow wide, “Ain’t time for excuses.  You made this mess—you’re gonna finish it.”
You blink slowly, searching for any sign of a bluff. It never comes, in fact, his grip only grows tighter until you answer, shakily nodding your head.
“Go on,” He urges, “I’m right behind you.”
He’d have a front row seat this time instead of waiting in the wings. 
Joel wanted a full taste.
The wife is tucked into bed when you finally find her, barricaded in her sheets and sleeping soundly despite the loud, blaring music when you first approach the house—you figured it was a regular occurrence, but you don’t linger on the thought long. 
You hold onto the thought of the husband and his unwillingness to hear you out, how they seemed to already have you figured out, wrapped up in the Miller’s web and just another willing accomplice, repeating the same careful steps from earlier that had clearly failed you as Joel breathed over your shoulder.
It needed to be quick—not entirely painless, but clean.
The vase to the left of her head seemed like an emergency option, the woman splayed out on her back as you searched around, knowing that you didn’t have long with Joel’s looming presence. You chew at your bottom lip as you reach carefully for the pillow beside her head and slowly press it over her face, a few seconds of calm before you find yourself in a predicament.
Climbing over her lap, you mount and press the weight of your palms into the pillow, face scrunched in concentration as the woman flails and shakes against the movement, grunting meekly as your hand slips against the scratch of her nails, glaring at Joel for a silent plea of help, realizing that she was putting up far more of a fight then either of you expected.
He waits until the last possible second, an unreadable expression on his face before he’s flipping the switchblade out of his pocket and piercing it through her clavicle, the blood squirting on your chest and face, rearing back instinctually as you gasp, her body falling lifeless in an instant.
“I can appreciate the effort,” Joel comments, wiping the blade off on the sleeve of your shirt before he pockets it again, “how’d that feel?”
You don’t realize your heart is racing until he asks the question—it was a similar feeling to a drug-induced high, slightly floaty and off-balance, your mind hazy as you blink, the stench of iron filling your senses and that strange look on Joel’s face returns.
You understand it then—lust, another subtle hint as he licks at his bottom lip out of reflex.
Joel would lick you clean if you let him.
You clear your throat and speak quietly, “What—what do we do?”
“Well, we gotta transfer ‘em to the house,” Joel explains, “So, you’ll stay here and wait—not run, that clear?”
You nod mindlessly, towering over your second dead body of the night.
You were far too deep now.
You don’t move—not really. You sink to the sheets beside the woman’s body but you listen dutifully, ears perking up at the roar of an approaching truck and door slamming followed by footsteps before Joel reappears again, seemingly breathing out a sigh of subtle relief as he spots you.
He’d never admit it, but you can see it.
It take a while, but eventually you carry both bodies into the bed of the truck and cover them with tarp, questioning Joel on what happens with the house, the evidence, everything that could essentially criminalize both of you—
“That’s above my paygrade, honey,” You’re not amiss to the change in his voice, his expression more relaxed as he shifts the truck into gear, “the sheriff handles all that for us.”
“And…the sheriff…he—”
Joel chuckles, “It’s everyone. Not just a group of us. We aren’t just sellin’ to townsfolk, either. It’s overseas, across the country. Shit is high risk, high reward. Why do you think I followed you tonight?”
So, he did follow you—he’d known the entire time.
“I saw the idea pop into your head earlier while Tommy and I were arguin’. Like I said, predictable. I’m not sayin’ you didn’t have a fair reaction, I get it. But, we can keep you safe.”
You cross your arms over your chest silently, skin and face caked with blood.
“But will you?” You retort, “Can I really trust you both?”
As the truck pulls in near the barn, the ignition falls silent.
“I want to,” Joel admits, “natural ability like that shouldn’t be wasted.”
A natural-born killer, he means.
“You feelin’ guilty right now?” Joel asks, eyebrows raised.
You shake your head quietly, avoiding his gaze.
“Good, keep it that way.”
Joel works silently to unload the bodies and load them in the barn as you sit quietly in the passenger seat, staring at the barn door as he drags tarp covered corpses inside with a brute strength unlike his brother, somehow spotless throughout the entire ordeal.
“I’ll move the truck in the morning,” Joel tells you as he pulls your door open, a hand waiting in assistance as you climb out on unsteady feet, the ache of your wounds coming back in waves as reality sets in.
“It is morning,” You retort, earning a huff of annoyance from Joel.
“You know what the fuck I meant,” He responds, his thumb flicking at a flake of dried blood on your collarbone as you stand in front of him, “Tommy’ll get pissy if you wash the blood off in the main bathroom—I’ll let you use mine.”
Your face contorts in a mix of confusion and amusement.
“Or I can hose you down out here, your choice.”
The house is as quiet as you left it, guided silently with the touch of Joel’s hand between your shoulder blades as you traversed the dark house—and you aren’t sure what you were expecting as you enter Joel’s bedroom, but it wasn’t this.
It was lived-in, personal; full of books and random trinkets, pictures lining the top of his dresser and walls—his family, you can only assume. A few pictures of kids that you surmise are Joel and Tommy, you avoid Joel’s gaze as you look around aimlessly, clearing your throat as you approach the bathroom, hearing the light flick on beside your head.
It was clean, at least. A dark colored shower curtain hiding the tub away from view and his bathroom amenities only slightly astray, probably from previous use that night. 
You turn to him with a quizzical expression, his expression matching.
“What? Somethin’ wrong?” He asks.
“It’s just—it’s…clean. It doesn’t—it doesn’t fit you, I guess.”
“I’m just a dirty old man to you, ain’t I?”
It’s a joke, but his delivery falls flat.
“I’m confused, I guess.” You tell him honestly, “Look at me—” A vague gesture at your own disheveled state, dirt and blood smeared on your face as he tilts his head against the doorframe.
“I am,” The deep timber to his voice strikes you at your core, a casual but unsuspecting answer, “I cleaned up for the night, wasn’t plannin’ on getting dirty again.”
“But, you’re always dirty.”
His job required that—but Joel was meticulous about his routine after he was done for the day. Dinner, a thorough shower, sometimes another if he was feeling particularly bothered, and the quiet of the calm house to lull him to sleep.
Unfortunately, that routine has been disrupted since you arrived. 
Like an infestation, you’d taken over.
Joel ignores you with a half-assed shrug and flicks a dried speck of blood from your nose.
“Go on,” He demands, “I’ll grab you some clothes and fresh bandages.”
You clear your throat awkwardly and nod as you gently swat his hand away, avoiding his gaze as you press the door closed enough that it doesn’t lock, but allows you the privacy to undress.
It feels good to clean the blood and grime away, scrubbing at your body until it burns, bathing in the distinct smell of Joel’s body wash, a faint hint of it always wafting off of him despite his usually dirtied state.
You can hear him moving quietly beyond the curtain, his shadow passing a few times as you’re expecting him to fold against the urge to peek his head beyond the curtain—something, anything.
You hated the forced gentlemanly facade. 
Once you’re out of the shower and dressed in clothes Joel had picked out, a matching set and a fresh pair of underwear that had you glancing sideways at him as his fingers peeked around the bathroom door with a bottle of rubbing alcohol and fresh bandages in his hands.
He kneels quietly with a concentrated expression, mirroring his actions from before. Wincing through the sting of pain as he cleans and dresses your wounds, catching his glances as the noises slip beyond your lips—an inconspicuous check-in, wordless.
You can’t help but fuck with him now, defenses down.
His eyes follow the way your hand smooths over the waistband of your shorts, your thumb slipping beyond the thick band as you lean against the mirror, watching as he taped down the gauze, “Kinda defeats the purpose, don’t it?”
“What’re ya gettin’ at?”
“The whole—bet you can’t guess what color underwear I’m wearing joke,” You play quietly with the waistband, fingers twirling in the drawstrings below your navel as your thighs spread against his guidance, his hand sliding down to your ankle to raise your leg higher in an effort to secure the bandage, “I see you wanted them to match,” You jest at him lightly, noticing the way his eyes immediately lock onto the apex of your thighs.
He brushes it off, a roll of his eyes as he finishes up his job, carefully piling up the trash on the floor as you slowly slide off the bathroom counter, leaving his head level with your waist. 
Had you asked yourself if you wanted to be this close to him twelve hours ago, the answer would have been different, but the downright pathetic look on his face as his eyes drag up your body and eventually land on your face are a powerful spell.
Slowly, your hands drift into his hair—surprisingly soft as the curls sway with your movement, gripping the hair tight and pushing his head back in the process, a low rumble in his throat at the action.
“Do you like that?” You inquire, his eyes darkening at the question as he sets his sight on something he wants—a primal gaze, almost like a warning.
“You tryin’ to make my brother jealous?” He asks, “Think I should tell him about your plan to rat us out—how it didn’t work and now you’re tryin’ this—”
“I can’t leave now,” You admit, still not fully settled with the idea but deep down you knew, “I—I do feel safe, you know. With you—”
You exhale shakily as his lips press against the sliver of skin beneath your shirt, just below your navel as his eyes fall shut, his tongue following the path as he presses surprisingly gentle kisses into the skin before his fingers are curling over the band of your shorts.
“Don’t trust me, though—do you?” Joel asks snarkily, eyes peeking open slightly as your lips part in a soft gasp as he pulls the clothing down your hips, peeling the underwear down with it.
One hand drags up your calf, calloused hands against soft skin as he pulls one knee over his shoulder and shoves your shirt upwards, giving him an obscured view of your cunt, lips spreading open with the movement and glistening with slick despite how much you tried to loathe him—there was a racing in your heart that differed from Tommy, like you know you shouldn’t be doing this but your body was demanding otherwise.
You shake your head lazily as it drops back, slumping against the medicine cabinet as he drags a finger through your folds, toying with your clit in small movements, silent as he drinks in every small sound you make, your opposite hand digging into the counter of the sink as his fingers dig into your thigh, opening your eyes as he presses his lips to your cunt, right against the mound and into the short, coarse patch of hair before he’s spreading his tongue out flat against you and licking a slow, tortuous line up the seam.
“Trust–trust is earned,” You reply breathily, “It, fuck—it takes time.”
Joel hums a response of approval as his nose nudges against your clit, tongue dipping inside of your hole as he stared up at you, even at this angle you could see the smug smirk on his face as he drank you in—Joel was still a frightful man, enough unknown that you found yourself wondering if the choices you were making were correct, if somehow this would cost you your life in the end.
But, then he’s pulling away, dragging his finger up the seam of your pussy as he stands, unbuckling his belt quietly as you strip your shirt away, not needing to be told or guided, his tanned skin flushed a subtle red as he unbuttons and parts his flannel, adjusting his jeans and underwear down just far enough under his balls that they sit snug against the fabric, his cock intimidatingly large against his even larger hands.
So much with Joel is unspoken, his intensity held in his gaze. Even from your first meeting, there was a look—and even now, he’s got that look. Like he’s trying to decipher you.
He flattens one hand against the bathroom counter as you spread your legs to accommodate him, his other hand grabbing at your ass to pull you near the edge before he’s running his hand down his shaft, the foreskin swallowing up the red, angered tip of his cock before he’s pulling back and rubbing his cock through your folds, gathering the wetness there and pressing inside with a pinched expression on your face, your breath catching as your hand twists into his shirt.
“That hurt?” He asks, his voice taking on a softer tone.
You nod fervently, “Yeah—yeah, it’s—you’re…pretty big,”
You weren’t trying to actively compare the brothers, but the thought passes in your mind and Joel notices the thoughtful look on your face, huffing out a laugh under his breath.
“Good,” That it hurts—he wanted you to feel it tomorrow, that it would be a constant reminder.
He’s a natural masochist, but he wasn’t about not enjoying sex. So, while he savors the soft hiss of pain at first, the dig of your nails into his chest, eventually you relax and turn to curling yourself around him, legs tight around his hips and your arms slung over his shoulders as he presses his forehead into your own and fucks you with a slow, powerful force of thrusts that make the walls shake—surely it would wake his brother, maybe that was what he wanted.
His mouth parted slightly, panting out hot against your skin as he glares at you—into you, through you, your eyes fluttering open and shut as he follows your trailing gaze, the precipice of your pleasure clawing over the edge of their metaphorical walls.
“Yeah, s’right there—isn’t it?” He taunts, a half smirk on his face as he watches you.
Always watching you.
You nod again, feeling the hand that was squeezing at your thigh digging into your skin as he used it for leverage, thrusting into you while he guided your hips toward him, using your body like he had full control over it. His other hand finds your breasts, squeezing the flesh in his hand before he’s rubbing his thumb over the quickly hardening bud, a shiver running down your spine.
There was nowhere to hide with Joel, all imperfections on display as your head lulls back against the mirror, eyes opening to find him matching your expression—somewhat sated but nearing the edge of his own release, he nudges his chin up and speaks, ���S’this what gets you off?”
Your brow furrows as you tilt your head, his hand trading your breast for the hand twisted into his shirt, guiding it toward your clit as he gives you a silent order, your fingers circling the sensitive nub.
“Fuckin’ both of us—s’gonna be a hell of an issue when he finds out, you know.”
“Is this what you like—huh, talking about while you fuck?” You counter, “Your brother?”
His jaw shakes slightly as he gaze dips, admiring the way your cunt swallowed him up, his fingers wrapped around the wrist that was working at your clit, toes curling as your knees squeezed into his hips, that heat building in your core.
“I can talk about how he eats pussy better than you,” It’s teasing, an effort to get a rise out of him, “or do you—you wanna hear how he whimpers when he fucks me because he’s so pathetic? Is th—is that what you want?” His hips stuttered with your words, “He’s so much sweeter, you know? S’all soft and kind—”
Nothing like Joel.
His hand seems to loosen at the mention, but you shake your head.
“Oh, don’t ease up now, honey—I never said I liked it.”
Joel opens his mouth to speak, but you didn’t want to hear it, shoving your opposite hand over his mouth as you both spill over the edge, the ache of loss finding you as he pulls out, thick ropes of come panting your stomach as you clench around the emptiness, his teeth digging into the palm of your hand as he groans with his release.
“I’ll handle Tommy,” Joel promises as you both dress, cleaning yourself up as he buttons his shirt, “It’ll be easier coming from me.”
“You don’t have to lie, he should know—”
“I’m not,” He responds quickly, looking up at you through his downturned gaze, “like you said—trust is earned. You’ll earn it.”
How was a mystery—but what other choice did you have?
-
You learn very quickly that Joel was intentional in you earning his trust—not so much Tommy. He wasn’t surprised by your attempt to escape, but the marring of their neighbors—yours too, now—he was slightly disappointed. Hoping that he could spare you the gruesome side of things, that keeping you within the house and under his watch would help save your innocence about the entire ordeal.
But, he quickly finds out that isn’t the case.
And you find out how steady their diet of human meat was, a fridge stocked full of various cuts and textures, unsuspecting to the eye but you knew—and truthfully, the sickness dissipates after a month of eating that way. Tommy will occasionally skip a day or two, sometimes even a week.
Whereas Joel, he’s fully accepted his ways.
“How does it work?” You ask curiously, night has crept in and left both you and Joel, who you’ve gradually drifted toward lately, aware of Tommy’s lingering touches and fighting that feeling of betrayal on both ends—Tommy never seemed to mind you favoring Joel, even indirectly. However, Joel was territorial, overwhelmingly so. You wished you disliked it, but that was the furthest thing from the truth.
“How’s what work?” He asks, legs spread wide on the couch as take a seat beside him, legs curled under your body and the fire crackling beside you, his hair wet from a recent shower and his shirt sticking to his skin, “Tommy’s job?”
You nod quietly, chewing on a piece of dried meat, akin to jerky. 
You’ve willingly succumbed to the lifestyle over the past few weeks, partly to blame on Joel, but mostly out of your own morbid curiosity, finding that it wasn’t all that bad as the nauseous and general sickness fell dormant. 
“I don’t fuckin’ know,” Joel answers bluntly, but honest, “He’s got some kinda system going, I do my job—cuttin’ things up, mindin’ my business. I just know it makes us damn good money.”
You wouldn’t be able to tell outside of their house, but they kept things well within the interior—they owned nice things, you assumed they were out of debt and had money saved back, but they lived beneath their means as much as possible. 
Joel liked a quiet life, you could tell. 
“I could help out more, you know.”
Outside of your general duties and decent pay—it felt lacking, like you could be doing more.
Neither of the brothers kept you chained or trapped, that much was obvious. And you didn’t feel the lingering threat of something to come, the need to run—the feeling of security was something you had searched out for a while and oddly, they provided that. 
In some sick, fucked up way, you felt protected. 
“Stock is runnin’ low,” Joel debates, his thumb circling the beer bottle between his legs, while his other trails along his bottom lip in thought, “I got an idea, dunno if Tommy’s gonna like it.”
“Who cares what he thinks?” You reply, “He cowers like a puppy when it comes to you.”
It was essentially a lure and catch situation—Joel never strayed too far, always on the outskirts while you found the next willing victim, it was always you approaching them, never the opposite. You were in full control and under very specific orders. 
Never people in town, always the stragglers. The more meek and unsuspecting the better, but it varied—after a couple months, Joel doesn’t even bother to stick around, sitting in his truck while you finish up the job.
And you’ve learned over time just how different Tommy and Joel are—Tommy prefers seclusion in the extremist of ways, more subdued with his affection when Joel was around and didn’t argue with him in your presence, almost like he was attempting to shield you.
Joel is out late in the barn when Tommy crowds you in the kitchen, a curious and longing stare out the window at the closed barn door, his tell-tale throat clearing as his hands wrap around your waist, his chest pressing against your back as you sip gingerly at the glass of water in your hands.
“M’glad you feel safe here,” Tommy murmurs into your skin, a soft peppering of kisses along your spine as he moves the material of your shirt out of the way, his fingers slipping beyond the thick waistband of your pants, shoving them down wordlessly, “ready for bed?”
“Not yet,” You admit, letting the silence linger before you speak again, “Can I ask you something—and I’m just curious, I swear.”
Tommy makes a noise of approval. 
“What happened to my car?” A laugh bubbles up at the thought and Tommy laughs too.
“I mighta sold it for scraps when you agreed to stayin’ with us long term. I was meaning to tell you, but you never asked…so I figured…”
Who cares, right? Truly, it was a piece of shit anyways.
You laugh softly at his advances as they grow more needy, your arm curling behind you to flex your fingers in his outgrown hair, “I want you to fuck me here,” You admit, his eyes peeking open as he leans over your shoulder to look at you, a salacious smile on your face as you lean back, rubbing your ass against his cock, growing hard underneath the confines of his sweats, before you turn to face him, “like this—right here.”
Fortunately, it takes very little convincing. He’s impatient in his movements, only getting both of your pants down before he’s pushing the head of his cock inside of you, a welcomed but comfortable stretch before his cock is fully seated inside of you, walls squeezing down tight as he buries his face into your clothed chest, your hands cradling his head as he rocks into you at a gentle pace.
“God, I’m never gonna get tired’f this,” Tommy groans weakly, a hand gripping tight at your hip as he quickens his thrusts, one hand falling back on the counter to support the forceful angle of his movements, laughing breathlessly at his comment, his head rises to look at you with complete and full admiration, “I’m serious, baby.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” You assure him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips that quickly divulges into an open-mouthed exploration as you trade sounds, feeling Tommy teeter closer to the edge of his own orgasm as his fingers drift against your clit, always assuring that you were taken care of first—it doesn’t take long, hands gripping the curtain above the sink as your whine loudly against his ministrations. 
Tommy is too distracted to hear the quiet creak of the door, but you’re not. The lights are off, only granting you a silhouette of Joel, but you know—he’s smirking to himself, closing the door behind him quietly as he freezes for a moment, seemingly locking eyes with your sated expression, your orgasm hitting you just as he passes down the hall, his face coming into view for a brief moment.
It was pathetic, how quickly your mind drifted to him even while his brother was buried inside of you, your grip on the curtain tightens, pulling the rod from the wall and sending it clanging down against the sink as it startles you back to reality, feeling Tommy’s hips stutter before he’s pulling out and you sink to the ground instinctively, lips wrapping around his cock as he releases the warmth of his cum against your tongue, a heady but tolerable taste that slides down your throat with ease. 
Joel is already gone by the time you rise to your feet, redressing quietly as Tommy examines the broken curtain with a subdued chuckle, tossing the few pieces of sheetrock in the trash.
“Sorry,” You wince, looking at him apologetically.
Tommy grins, his thumb rubbing down the center of your chin in a comforting way as he shrugs, waving it off, “Easy fix.”
The difference between the two is simple to spot after a while—Joel’s leniency with things comes to a head as Tommy’s rigidness battles for dominance. He doesn’t make it a habit to put his foot down often, but he was already increasingly hesitant as you started luring people back to the farm—while thankful, it was dangerous. You were good at it, without fail, but something was bound to implode.
“She’s earned it, you know,” Joel fights for you, the usual recluse encourages a night-out—a real one, no work, just pure enjoyment, “Ain’t much trouble to get into there.”
The bar, he means. With how often you frequented it now, it was like a second home.
You were coming up on your sixth month mark of living with the Millers, finding the stragglers came in like a cycle, every few weeks, and the town was due for more.
Tommy squints cautiously, turning in the desk chair as the heel of his boot scuffs against the flooring, “An hour—only an hour, don’t need you stickin’ out like a sore thumb.”
Joel, he means. He rolls his eyes in response, dressed more casual than you’ve ever seen him. It was a simple pair of jeans and a dark-colored shirt, but it made him seem normal.
It was unsettling.
“Don’t worry,” Joel smirks, “No one’ll touch her.”
Except him, you think.
Tommy wasn’t oblivious to your odd affection toward Joel, but he wasn’t privy to every detail. He didn’t know how often you snuck into Joel’s bed at night, sometimes after being on his own before that, the devouring looks and purposeful touches that always happened behind his back.
Joel knows you find comfort in Tommy, but there was something missing.
Something lacking.
Tommy eventually relents and you arrive at the bar a half hour later, Joel in tow.
And it is mostly uneventful, drinking amongst the other patrons with the loud rumble of music drowning out far away voices—Joel was stoic, like a bodyguard over your shoulder as he seemed to people watch, like he often did.
“You’re doing it again,” You tell him, peering up at him from your seat as he glances down, his glass pressing to his lips, ignoring the wide-eyed stares from the occasional townsperson, seemingly shocked to see him. 
“No I’m not,” He argues, tapping his finger against your lips before he’s guiding the glass to your lips, a wordless order to silence yourself, “Drink, enjoy it—or all that beggin’ was for nothin’.”
Eventually, Joel lets you wander.
Even if it was to dance lazily a few feet away, practically begging him to join you with your hand outstretched, a constant scowl on his face as he refused. But, eventually someone takes that offer for him, obstructing his view with a grin—an older gentleman with wiry hair and rotted teeth.
There’s a few moments of uncomfortable movement before you’re making an excuse to flee toward Joel who snickers at your discomfort, a hand wrapping at your waist to pull you between his legs as the man, persistent as you suspected, approaches beside you.
“Tommy finally let his dog out of the house?” He asks over you, staring Joel down.
Joel chuckles at that, subdued as his hand tightens against your waist, hiding your own giggle behind a sip of beer.
“C’mon, sweetheart—I’ll show you a better time than this guy. Wouldn’t know how to care for a nice piece of ass like that—him or his damn brother.”
Joel stands then, without warning as he towers over the man and you as he forces you into the seat, “Get the fuck out of here,” It was the only warning he was offering, but it strikes fear through the man without fail, sending him scurrying off for the moment.
“Tommy’s gonna kill you when he finds out about that,” You comment as Joel approaches at your back, maneuvering you out of the seat to settle between his legs again, his large palm settling against your stomach as he pulls you against him, spotting the man again from across the room, staring you both down with hardened eyes.
“What he doesn't know won’t hurt him,” Joel argues, the surprising press of his lips against your neck as you jump at the touch, calmed by his reassuring words, “Gonna scare him off, alright?”
“How—” You’re cut off on a gasp as his hand travels up your shirt, squeezing at your breast as his teeth dig into your skin, mouth hung open as you stumble back against him, eyes fluttering closed at the stinging pinch of Joel’s teeth, hard enough that you fear it breaking through the skin
Surely, it does. 
As Joel raises his head and catches sight of the man’s widened eyes, he scurries off. He’s not amiss to your reaction to the bite, fingers clawing into his skin, moaning at the action. Really, he should’ve expected it.
“Turn around,” He orders, spinning you on your feet before you can react on your own, catching sight of your dilated pupils as you stare at him wondrously, a smile growing on your face as his impatience grows.
He ignores your wandering hands that crawl up his arms, gripping onto his large biceps before he’s hauling you out of the bar without a word, arm twisted behind your back as you tumble on your feet toward his truck parked in the far back of the parking lot, far away from the roar of music.
“Did I do something—oh,” You squeak, jumping back at the creak of the drivers’ side door as he sandwiches you between the seat and him, “wrong—Joel, did I—”
You’re stuttering but he isn’t answering and you begin to crawl to your side of the seat before he’s stopping you in your tracks, feet pressing against the step bar of the truck while the upper half of your body curls against the seat—and Joel, with his large and threatening presence, towers.
He works at the belt in your jeans, turning your head over your shoulder as he rips the leather from the loops of your pants, “Put your hands on the steering wheel,” He orders and you follow suit, watching as he quietly tightened the belt around your hands and through the steering wheel, rendering you immobile from the waist up.
“Wait—right here? But, there’s people—”
Never stopped you before,” He comments and your face heats at the mention, having never brought up the instance with you and Tommy until now, “I’m not a fan of waiting and I’m not against takin’ you in front of my brother—rather not, but…”
“You like having me to yourself,” You finish for him, a hum of acknowledgement following. 
Joel yanks at your jeans until they fall to your ankles, pulling them off alongside your shoes and underwear as he tosses them over your head and into the passenger seat, sinking to his knees without a word as he parts your legs, licking into your with warning as you gasp, your hands yanking against the leather belt.
He squeezes your ass in his hands, spreading you open as he dips his tongue inside of you, forcing you up on your toes as you curse into the seat of his truck, forehead pressing into the fabric as your hands are stretched over your head. 
He’s got an idea…a lingering suspicion as he trails his lips along the inside of your legs, never quite kissing or lingering, just a slow drag before he’s digging his teeth into your skin, a sharp pain that makes your pussy clench, his eyes locked on the action as he bites down. 
Instinctively, you yank against the binds, the urgency growing as he bites down more, picking various places along your legs until he decides to bite into the fleshy cheek of your ass, purposefully breaking the skin—the tiniest drop of blood pooling at the surface before he licks it away. 
He repeats the process, trading between bites and licking at your cunt until your orgasm catches you by surprise, panting against the seat as you catch your breath with his satisfied presence looming behind. 
Quietly, he rustles with his belt and slides into you without a word until he’s got his hand tucked up under your chin, wrapped around your throat as he presses you against the seat with his chest, turning your head to the side to catch your already fucked-out expression, more turned on from the biting than the fact that his dick was finally inside of you.
“I fuckin’ knew it,” Joel remarks, watching the smile spread across your face, “You like it when I bite you? The pain?”
You shake your head with a soft hum, “S’nice, but I like you marking your territory.” You watch his face morph into something indecipherable as you laugh, “Got you really riled up in there, didn’t it?”
“Gotta let them know to lead you back to me if you go runnin’ off again,” Joel taunts, grunting against the shell of your ear as your walls squeeze down when the head of his cock nudges at a particular spot inside of you that steals your breath away, “Yeah—that? That right there?”
You nod weakly, wishing you could touch him—claw at his skin, grab on and take hold, but you were left helpless. Though, somehow it was more comforting this way. Joel was increasingly careful of the authority you tried to hold over him, never allowing you to have the upper hand—and you didn’t mind it.
Again, it was the stark difference between he and Tommy, who’d be willing to bend to your will if you asked, eager to please you, but with Joel, it was kismet. He always knew what you were thinking before you even spoke about it.
And as the ache in your wrist grows into full discomfort he releases them without a word of acknowledgement, lips parted with bated breath as you turn until your back is pressing into the seat, legs wrapping around his waist as he hoists you up with his brute strength, releasing a loud moan of expressive pleasure as you surge forward, pressing your lips against his before he can object, licking into his mouth with profound eagerness as his nails dig into the skin at your hips, his balls tightening with an impending release as he returns the wet, sloppy exchange of lips.
It stalls him for a moment, the sensual pace of your lips pulling his focus up, your tongue twirling around his own before they trail to his lips, your lips dragging down his chin, along his jaw, before you’re biting against where his jugular would be hiding under his skin, not nearly hard enough to cause any damage but enough to have his eyes rolling back and his hips stuttering.
“Don’t—don’t pull out,” You tell him through a murmur, running your tongue along the mark in a soothing gesture, catching his gaze as he looks at you, “What? Are you scared, Joel?”
Not scared—Joel wasn’t sure he could emulate that emotion anymore, but it was far too personal for his liking, even with the few partners he’s had in his life he’s never crested beyond that, purposeful in his abhorrence distaste of kids or the possibility of, but you have him completely under your spell and he shakes his head.
“S’just you—wouldn’t want it to be anyone but you.” You assure him, his expression softening as your thumb trails along his bottom lip, eyes locked on his own as his thrusts stuttering through his own orgasm, face pinching at his brow, your breathy moans guiding him through as he pumps your pussy full, feel the warmth seep down as he eventually pulls out, his cum sliding down the inside of your thighs.
“Get in the car,” Joel instructs as he tries to catch his breath.
His silence on the ride home is deafening.
Joel is more stoic and pensive over the following weeks—spring is always harder on the business, or so he says, and selling overseas picks up quicker, it wasn’t something they could explain but it was a constant trend; high demand, high reward. It was quite stressful, really.
So stressful that eventually things are beginning to run thin and you become the source of stress relief for both of them—in different ways, but nonetheless.
Tommy would rather cuddle up with you on the couch while you lull him to sleep with your magic fingers, dragging through his hair—it was gentle caresses and quiet conversation that he found comfort in, but Joel was always unpredictable.
Sometimes it was just sharing a meal—his weird obsession with feeding you; providing, in a way? You couldn’t make sense of it, but it never made you feel uncomfortable.
“Have you ever gotten a bad batch?”
“We’re careful,” Joel reminds you, “It’s why we test all of ‘em before we go through the process.”
“Is that why you sent me?”
“Do you want an honest answer?”
You stare at him blankly, waiting.
“Yeah—we had to make sure you’re clean.”
“But now?” You push, your tongue pressing against the underside of the fork as he brings it to your lips.
“I trust you,” Joel admits, “You’ve kept up your end of the deal.”
It was conversations like this that led to Joel’s affinity toward you, a drunken night several weeks later leading you both outside after Tommy had already fallen asleep, walking backwards as your fists curled into Joel’s shirt as his hand cupped your head, licking into your mouth as he unintentionally led you toward the barn door, both of you separating as your back hit the creaking wood.
You pull apart, peering curiously over your shoulder and attempting to look through the cracks, awaiting Joel’s reprimand that never comes. 
“You wanna see inside?” He asks curiously.
“You’re fucking with me—”
“It’s a yes or no, darlin’.”
“Yes—yesyes, I do.” You spit out quickly, curiosity getting the best of you as he fishes his keys out of his pocket and snakes it into the lock, unlocking and prying the door open, met with full and complete darkness as he leads you inside, his chest close at your back.
He reaches blindly for the lights out of memory and you’re engulfed in the blaring lights of a spotless room—almost like a medical office with the array of equipment lining the walls and the long embedded tables, something reminiscent of what you would see at a mortuary for draining bodies and embalming, probably to help with the mess.
You sniff slightly, curious about the lack of smell as the door closes.
“That’s partly the animals, but we dispose of some of the shit the pigs can’t eat out behind the barn.”
“Like what?” You stare at him incredulously, eyes wide.
“Clothes, shoes—s’why we have the barrels burning every couple weeks when the stench gets too bad.” He spots your itch to explore, that glistening curiosity in your eyes as you relax at his answer, “Go on, look ‘round.”
You’re not ignorant to the absence of bodies—it was confusing to see a place so clean come from a man who always left work looking like he had brought half of it home with him.
There’s an array of knives and confusing cutting devices that you trail your fingers along, a bonesaw lying against the table lining the shelves, a stack of papers with faces and names, various info that you took a glancing look at, attempting to avoid the idea of putting names to faces and treating the people as anything other than product—it was how Joel lived, as disconnected and separate from the ideas possible.
“Usually it’s messier in here,” Joel admits, your lips parting in a surprised gasp as he presses his lips to your neck, “—we can fix that, though.”
“Joel Miller,” You respond in a scandalized tone, “what exactly are you implying?”
“I’ve got a room upstairs,” Your eyes flick up, spotting the loft overhead—that would explain the long nights when you wouldn’t see him at all, his comfort with being more openly affectionate outside of sex has grown slowly, turning your head to face his over your shoulder as his gaze trails up in another silent question, “unless you’ve got another idea—m’just dyin’ to get inside of you, honey.”
Your teeth dig into your bottom lip in faux thought, already knowing your answer as you were brimming with excitement, resisting the urge to drag him after you.
“Yeah?” You tease, his lips pressing against your soft, kissing you soundly.
“Yeah,” He responds against your mouth, a rare moment of calm, a sweet exchange before he’s chasing after you with a swift slap to your ass.
It was essentially an extension of his bedroom, cozy and homey, you find yourself stretching out on the rug rather than the couch, watching as he carefully kneeled to the floor, cursing his achy knees as you giggle, spreading your legs open to invite him in.
“The things you do for me,” You joke, slowly unbutton his flannel as he yanks you towards him, knees falling against his hips as his palms grip either side of your, his thumbs rubbing against the soft skin underneath your shirt, “careful—I might think you love me.”
“If that’s what you want,” Joel replies easily, stripping your shirt over your head as your breasts bounce free, removing your jeans with the same impatience before he’s immediately latching his lips onto your breasts and lazily trading off, biting teasingly into the skin as he looks up to gauge your reaction.
If Tommy notices Joel’s evidence that he leaves, he never says anything. Perhaps it was unspoken, maybe they’ve talked it out—it was information you weren’t privy to, but you didn’t question it. He could smell his brother all over you and he was dying to rid you of it, baring his teeth as he bit into the flesh of your breast, a satisfied hum coming from you in response.
“Do you want that?” Joel asks again, “To be loved—ain’t somethin’ you’ve felt much, is it?”
Quietly, you shake your head.
“Well, you’ve got my brother by the balls,” He chuckles knowingly, “I’m sure he’d marry you if you asked—I ain’t good with words, but I can show you—”
Curious, you watch as he stands, grabbing a sharpened knife off the end table before he’s returning to you, “Somethin’ my parents passed down to me—never used, just like lookin’ at it.”
“We’re not about to Romeo and Juliet ourselves, are we?” You joke lightly, half-serious.
Joel grins wide at that, a full belly laugh following as he slices his palm with a squint of pain before he’s allowing the blood to pool in his hand as beckons you forward with a finger. You rise on your palms and stare curiously before he’s directing his hand to your mouth, lips parting wordlessly as the deep crimson hits your tongue, eyes falling shut as you sucked at the wound.
You were so accustomed to the rich, irony taste that it isn’t even a surprise, moaning as the blood slides down your throat and his fingers curl, squeezing more blood out for you to consume before he’s sliding his hand over your mouth and down your chin, stopping against your chest as he smears it with blood, one-handed as he shrugs his flannel off and rips his shirt over his head, tearing the fabric apart in strips like butter, not a sign of struggle.
He ties the fabric around his wound before he’s wordlessly handing you the knife.
“My hand?” You ask curiously.
“S’up to you,” He admits—the wordless blood trade vowing his affection toward you.
It was something far deeper than love, you think. Devotion. Loyalty. 
“Wherever?” Your eyebrow raises as Joel seems to clock the moment the idea comes into your head, trailing the blade along the inside of your thigh, up your stomach, along your breasts.
Eventually the tip of the blade finds a spot against your inner thigh, Joel’s hand careful adjusting your placing as he speaks, “Careful, there’s an artery there,” Further down, you brave the initial sting and slice through the skin, watching as the blood rose to the surface and Joel quickly descends, knife clattering to the floor as he sucks the flesh between his lips, his tongue lapping against your skin.
It’s euphoric, the feeling. So intense you could descend into madness as Joel eagerly lapped up the blood, even as he pulled away going back for a second time, a third, rising with blood stained lips and the crimson liquid pooling on his tongue as he pulls you toward him, mixing the taste of his blood with your own as he kisses you, a messy exchange of fluids as you claw at his skin, rising to your knees to match him.
Silently, you work at his jeans, unbuttoning and pulling them down his lips alongside his underwear—Joel works them the rest of the way before you’re pulling the hand supporting him over you out from under him, straddling him into the rug as your cunt sat directly over his cock, feeling him grow harder underneath you, a sight to behold with blood dripping down the corner of his mouth.
“I want more,” You tell him honestly, his cock twitching at the words, reaching for the knife laying beside his head, “Can I have more?”
Joel nods wordlessly, slightly breathless.
It was a trading battle of surface wounds, just enough to spill blood but nothing deep enough to cause any damage—surely looking insane as you straddled him with a smile, blood-stained lips yearning for more. Joel has a drunken haze to his expression, committing the sight to memory as he squeezes at your hips, rutting his cock between your soaked folds.
“Enough,” He says softly, barely above a mumble as he tosses the knife aside, rolling you underneath him before he’s sliding home inside of you, a hand cradling the back of your head while the other gripped at your knee, pulling it high over his hip, near his chest as he thrusts into you, a controlled but needy pace that was followed by low, pitiful groans of pleasure.
You’d broken this man.
His head was buried in your neck, your hand trailing down his back as you squeeze into the flesh of his ass, the fingers off your opposite hand carding through his hair, pulling gently at his curls.
“Got so much of me inside you now,” He breathes into your skin, “fuck—I’d eat your right up, baby.”
Despite his obvious lifestyle, your laugh is careless and light.
“Greedy,” You note, “I’ve already given you a taste and you’re asking for more?”
He doesn’t respond, not really. His hips are sharp, forceful as his cock spears itself inside of you, rubbing against the sensitive spot inside of you, eyes fluttering shut as it overwhelms you.
“Take a bite,” You encourage him, “f’that’s what you want.”
A real one.
Enough to scar, to leave a permanent mark and reminder of him.
One, two—you didn’t care.
His teeth drag over your breasts, tongue trailing around your hardened nipple before he’s biting into the skin at the top of you breasts, a gasp ripping from your throat as your walls flutter around him, tightening at the pain that slowly transfers to pleasure, glancing down at the small gash and trail of teeth marks in your skin. 
He’s admiring, finger running over the wound before he’s rising on his knees, continuing the thrusts of his hips but slowing as he reaches for your hand, pulling you upright again.
“You–do you want me to?” You ask cautiously, feeling the blood from your wound trail down your chest, “Are you sure?”
“Ain’t never been sure ‘bout nothin’,” Joel admits, “but—this…yeah, I want it.”
It shouldn’t make you hesitate, but it doesn’t. He isn’t emotional or forceful—it was like a plea, disguised behind his facade of stoicness. He needed this devotion just as bad as you. He needed someone to put his own trust into.
When your teeth dig into his side, he hisses, his right hand cradling your head as the other curls tightly into a fist, your face pinching up as you bite beyond the first layer of flesh and taste the liquid against your tongue.
He pulls you away eventually, looking down at you with a newfound expression.
This was love—not the lust you were used to seeing.
The rest of the evening is quiet, his pace gentler before he brings you to a slow orgasm, coming inside of you nearly seconds after with a soft moan, persistent that the wounds needed to be cleaned immediately after a few moments of rest.
He tapes it away with a gentle care after cleaning and applying an ointment to fight away any possible infection, snorting at how fatherly it all seemed, even helping you situation your top back on.
“At least we spared the rug,” You break the silence, “guess you aren’t as messy as I thought.”
“Oh, I can be,” He assures you, noticing the scabbed up bit of your lip that had become victim when he’d bit into your, biting down to silence yourself. Just a small movement and the wound reopens, completely unintentional but he sucks the blood away from your bottom lip in a soothing gesture before he kisses you soundly.
You only hoped the bliss would last.
Eventually, the implosion comes. But, instead of gradual—it was all at once.
Tommy’s birthday was supposed to be a quiet affair, something at home, between the three of you, not having time to celebrate during the week on his actual birthday like you had planned—but eventually Tommy finds himself antsy and Joel senses your annoyance as he keeps finding excuses to slip away or cancel. He encourages Tommy to go off on his own, leaving you both sprawled out on his bed after a rousing round of sex that leaves you both sweaty and breathless, resting your arm against his chest as you stare at him, “What’s up with him lately?”
“He’s good at acting, isn’t he?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“There’s a reason he keeps to the books, you know—why I do my job alone.”
Your eyebrow raises in a silent effort to urge him to continue.
“When I’m angry, you’ll know—” That much was obvious, having been on the receiving end plenty, but Tommy—it was unnatural to see anything but his kind, bright smile.
“He’s my brother—but there’s plenty of shit you haven’t seen yet. And I think it’s unfair that he’s actin’ like things are normal, like he can keep that act up, but something’s gotta give—”
“So what, is he like…a psychopath or something?”
Joel’s silence is telling, jumping up from your spot as you settle on your knees.
“He’s a fucking psychopath?”
“No—no,” Joel excuses, your face contorting into a mix of confusion and amusement.
“You took a long time to answer that.”
“He has episodes—periods of time where he ain’t himself. I can’t explain it and my parents refused to take him to the doctor—you know, backwoods folk and all. If we had a problem we toughed it out.”
“So, he’s got anger issues?”
Joel shakes his head, lips pursed into a tight line.
“He’s killed a couple people—by accident.  Least, that’s what he calls it. Tried killing me a few times, too. I’ve always been good at talking him off that ledge, thankfully. M’not trying to turn you against him but I’ve grown up around him, I know how to handle it.”
It was a lot of information to consume at once, still naked in Joel’s sheets as you adjust to sit more comfortably, a small peek at the scar near his ribcage as the sheets shift down.
“He’s lucky we do what we do—he’d probably be in jail otherwise, I’m just telling you because—“
“If it came down to me and him, you’d choose him.”
Joel pauses, his face softened as his lips downturn.
“It’s okay,” You shrug, “Let’s just hope it never comes to that.”
Truthfully, Joel wasn’t sure anymore.
After years with Tommy, he’d grown tired. It was exhausting, fighting between the battling personalities that lived within his brother.
“C’mere,” He beckons, your nose scrunching up as you grin, fitting your face between his waiting hands as he pulls you back over him, kissing you slowly.
A gentle calm before the storm.
The arguing is what wakes you first, not the roar of the truck, voices trailing toward the barn.
The bed is empty too, not a single remnant of Joel in sight.
But, you hear him. Loud, angry.
By the time you’re outside the barn is already closed, illuminated by the light inside as you pry the heavy door open, several underdressed with only a shirt to cover the underwear clinging tight to your skin, bare feet digging into the dirt as your feet scuff against the cement and the door falls shut behind you.
“She doesn’t need to know, Joel!” Tommy’s voice cracks, a slight slur to his speech.
He’s drunk, clearly.
“You’re a fucking idiot, Tommy—one night and you pull this shit? It’s exactly why dad had a tight leash on your ass for so many years—”
“Need to know what?” You ask suddenly, breaking through the tension as your head peeks around the corner, both of their heads whipping toward you, Joel moving subtly to block the body that you spot on the table, eyes widening. 
It had always been something you and Joel had managed together—Tommy had never shown an interest, didn’t seem to care, but this…
“I’m just tryin’ to carry my weight ‘round here—is that why you like him more?” Tommy asks suddenly, his eyes glazed over and dark as you step forward.
“I invite you into our home—give you a place to stay. I—I stuck up for you when he wanted to throw you out and you chose him? My own fuckin’ brother?”
“He’s drunk,” Joel states blankly, almost dismissive of his rant.
“No—no, let’s show it off, Joel.”
Tommy comes at you with a knife, slicing it down the middle of your shirt as you struggle against him, ripping the fabric away and showing off the healing scar on your chest.
“What happened to no attachments, Joel? No baggage?”
As Joel moves toward Tommy to remove the knife, he lunges at Joel and pushes him out of the way, leaving you with a clear view of the woman laying on the table, an eerie resemblance to yourself as your eyes widen, stepping toward the table as you glance over the body—unmoving, still. She was already too far gone, with no signs of what Tommy had actually done to her.
Your head snaps up at the brawling brothers, screaming for the attention to break through their rage, Joel burying his knee into Tommy’s back to subdue him.
“Why her?” You ask him—Tommy, looking directly at him as you point to the lifeless body.
“Get the fuck off me—” He argues through gritted teeth, attempting to shake his brother off him.
“Why—her?” You stress again, walking forward to crouch in front of him, uncaring of how your body was bared to him in your vulnerability.
“Thought I could give Joel his own version of you to play with—but she wasn’t cooperating. That what you wanna hear? I had you first—motherfucker won’t let me have a single thing to myself.”
“Let him up,” You instruct Joel, backing away slightly.
As Tommy stands, you approach him, his face tight and unrecognizable. 
He reeked of alcohol and sweat, a stench of something else that made the bile in your stomach rise, “I never chose, you both had me. You would continue to have me, but this—Tommy—”
“Don’t fuckin’ lecture me, not you,” He bites.
You stare at him with a growing sadness, “You’re drunk—really, really drunk. You’re gonna sleep this off and you’ll regret everything you’re saying right now, I know it. I know you.”
Something seems to snap in Tommy—attempting to rip away from Joel as you scramble toward the floor.
Tommy gets a solid right hook in, something that, if any normal person would have delivered would have left Joel unphased, but Tommy had his advantages, similar in size and stature to Joel, it was barely a fight as Joel dropped to the ground, hitting hard enough that both of you freeze, a slow ring of blood pooling from his head as your chest clinches in a mix of anger and resentment, but your body flinging into flight mode, fleeing while Tommy has distracted by the possibility that he killed his own brother.
Unfamiliar with the place you scramble to hide, unsure if running off would help after your last try, squeezing into a closet buried in the back corner behind a pile of yard tools and mowers, watching as Tommy dropped to the ground.
You could hear him mumbling to himself—a mix of self-assuring words and back and forth conversation, as if someone was responding to every word he offered.
“He’s dead—yeah I killed him,” He mumbles, “if I—if I chop him up, chop her up. Fuck,” His head whips over his shoulder, realizing you were gone, “gotta find her—but Joel, deal with him first.”
Your eyes widen at the firsthand witnessing of exactly what Joel had admitted to you—like some kind of bad omen of what was to come, you sunk down into the darkness and hide yourself away, watching as Tommy roamed around for tools, not a moment of hesitation as he intended to follow through on his plans with Joel’s lifeless body awaiting it’s demise.
It feels wrong, tossing a bone saw aside carelessly as he ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation, flailing tools around wildly, a knife clattering so far away that it lands near your feet, small enough to wrap your fist around as you grab it quietly, awaiting Tommy’s approach to Joel.
Sometimes takes over, not entirely yourself as you crawl from the spot you were hidden in and lunge at Tommy, planting the knife between his shoulder blades as pressed the blade against his own brother’s neck, his blood curdling scream ripping through the barn as he dropped to his knees.
“You bitch,” He groans, shouting out in pain as you remove the knife and sink into his spine, a few seconds of struggle before he slumps to the ground, his eyes dragging toward your shaking frame, bloodied hands rubbing your hair away from your face as you stare down at Tommy’s face, his lips parting as he gasped for air but instead find blood dripping from his mouth.
You drop to your knees, the air stolen from your own lungs but for different reasons.
Both of them dead, within a matter of minutes and it was all your fault.
“Fuck, fuck–” You cry, slamming your fist into cement, but quickly startled by the rousing beside Tommy, almost blaming it on a break in your psyche before Joel is mumbling your name, pressing his fingers into his temple as blood coats his fingers, a sizeable gash on the side of his head as he sits, slowly picking apart the sight before him.
“Oh, honey—what did you do?” Joel asks, glancing down at Tommy’s lifeless body and up at you—surprisingly, there wasn’t an ounce of anger.
“He thought—he thought you were dead, he had a knife at your throat,” You rambled in a panic, “He kept saying he was going to chop you up—chop me up. I don’t know, I fucking panicked.”
Joel remains wordless, staring into the deep abyss of blood pooling on the floor.
“I’m so—I’m sorry. I’m,” The emotion is like a tidal wave, “Joel—I panicked. I swear—”
Joel grimaces against the sharp sting of pain as he reaches for your face, his blood covered hand pressing against your face, fingertips wrapping around the back of your head as he forces you to lock eyes with him.
“Look at me,” He demands, waiting until your eyes lock on him, “This is the part where you promise—and I mean promise, that you won’t fuckin’ run off.”
“No—never. Never, not,” You shake your head, squeezing your eyes shut to blink away the thick tears, “Never again, Joel. I promise.”
“We handle this together,” He explains, “I’ll protect you but you have to say it.”
“Anything,” You nod, leaning forward on your hands to move closer to him.
“Say you’re loyal to me—that you’ll listen and do whatever I ask, without question.”
“I am—I am. Joel, I’m loyal to you. I love—I love you. I need you to know that.”
Joel sighs, head bowing.
“I would have chosen you over him. I couldn’t admit that to myself earlier, but I’m telling you now. Tommy’s always been a manipulator, I tried warnin’ you. Months ago.”
You ain’t the first, you won’t be the last.
“I won’t run. I promise, Joel.” You assure him, because with Joel you felt that protection.
A silence falls before you speak again.
“What happens now?”
“You follow my lead, that’s all I need.”
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gamerbot-22 · 15 hours ago
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Touchstarved LIs and Cuddling
Two posts in two days? On my account? Someone pinch me!
Also half-spawned from @asexual-abomination, because we’ve had this conversation a thousand times.
TW/CWs: Potential Accidental Canon Divergence (this will probs be a warning on ALL my TS stuff until the game’s released), mentions of sleeping together but it’s purely literal and genuinely not a euphemism for sex, hand-waving the touch curse a bit, Ais is an asshole about personal boundaries, Mhin is meant to be read as combatively shy but willing, partially proofread.
Can be read as platonic or romantic! Same as before! Also I’m gonna be making a lot of references to the “No one asked but I found Mortal Kombat’s best cuddler” video by Brian David Gilbert for Polygon because it’s a good vid and you should watch it if you haven’t already!)
(One day I’ll make a custom sparkle banner for the cut, mark my words! Also rqs are open! Likes and revolves appreciated!)
🕊️ Kuras
Definitely one of the Emotionally Vulnerable & Safe Cuddler types from BDG’s video.
I don’t think. Kuras needs to sleep? At least I don’t remember there being anything in canon to suggest that. But! I think he enjoys the occasional catnap, and can be persuaded to actually sleep with you if you ask him about it.
Like you hit him with the “isn’t a good night’s sleep supposed to be good for you?” and “shouldn’t you be a good example for your patients?” and he gives you a good-natured—if slightly stiff—chuckle as he guides you over to the cot in his office.
The cot’s kinda narrow since it’s only build for the one patient to sit/lay on it, so by default a lot of spooning/honeymoon hugging(? Spooning when you’re facing each other) is happening.
There’s not really a blanket situation happening, but he’s really warm and his hands are eternally soft so it’s just super pleasant.
And after a while he starts to get his wings involved, too. At first it’s only when you’re asleep, but later on, after you learn about his status as a fallen angel, he’s more open about it, even if he gets all shy when you ask.
And there’s something just so peaceful about how he holds you. His hands never wander, and he keeps his voice soft. The first couple times he asks to pet your hair or touch your face, and soon enough it just becomes a rhythm for the two of you. <3
🪄 Leander
This man wants to hold you SO BAD.
Literally will get on his hands and knees if you ask him to. Touchstarved isn’t just the name of the game, babes!
Brags so much about his big bed at the Wet Wick but the man is so clingy you two end up using like. 20% of it.
He’s tryna be all suave, inviting you to come over and lay your head on his chest but on the inside he is screaming.
For the first dozen times he just stays up, watching you snooze or daydream against his chest. Then after a while he starts to doze off before you do.
Definitely the type to tell you bedtime stories. Most of them are just recounting things that have already happened to/around him, but occasionally he does a little embellishing or a bit of improv for flavor.
He’s doing it to keep things interesting and maybe make himself look cooler to you? But he’s keeping it as low energy as possible so you don’t lose any sleep.
🦊 Vere
If Kuras is in the Emotionally Vulnerable and Safe Cuddler corner, Vere is on the fucking polar opposite side.
Definitely makes a big show of it the first time you ask, joking about his rates and the rules (“no kissing and hands off the tail!” shit like that.)
Also gives zero fucks about your comfort. He’s like a tiny dog taking his half of the bed out of the middle and you’re just gonna have to cope for a while.
Buuuuuut… if you talk nice, let him come to you, and show him you just want proximity and nothing else… maybe he’ll warm up.
And the jokes die down, and he gives you room to settle, and eventually he’s curling up right next to you and draping his tail over your legs.
Congrats! The cute fox boy is sharing a bed with you! Beware his flicking ears and squeak-snoring.
The whole process takes a good while, but I think it’s worth it <3
⛩️ Ais
Definitely kinda coy about sharing a sleeping place at first. It’s not Vere levels of mockery—mostly cause he doesn’t mean it the way Vere does—but Ais has a really annoying habit of getting under your skin.
But yeah, after some “arm-twisting,” he’ll let you lay down and get cozy.
He goes right to sleep more often than not, though, even if that’s not what the cuddling is for. Dude just closes his eyes and drops into dreamland like it’s nothing.
He says he’s just resting his eyes but that’s only the case maybe a third of the time.
I think he probably shares his sleeping space with Soulless, which usually means he’s all cramped up, but now that he’s only sharing the bed with one other body he takes the chance to sprawl.
You will end up flat on your back/face with Ais on top of you, it’s just a matter of when it happens.
He’s an asshole about it, too. He makes this big show of how cozy he is and how it’s been supposedly “forever” since he’s got to curl up like this, but if he gets the feeling you’re being serious he’ll get off.
🪡 Mhin
Inside of Mhin are two sleeping wolves.
One of them wants cuddles really bad but is abysmal at asking for them.
The other sleeps flat on their back like a corpse and startles awake at the slightest sound.
If you’re cuddling to pass the time instead of going to sleep Mhin gets all defensive either way. “Sounds like a waste of time when I could either just sleep or do something else” type shit.
You kinda gotta wrastle them into it, especially if they’ve been staying up for prolonged periods. “Rest isn’t sleep but it’s better than nothing.”
They’re not in the habit of initiating any of the cuddling (again, that wolf would sooner die than ask,) but if you “insist” (ask politely) they’ll let you take a crack at it, “if only to get some peace and quiet.”
If they doze off, like I said, they’ll startle awake at any sound so you’re probably not going to get a lot of sleep by proxy. But! You get to hold them and explain away all the noises, which is fun <3
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snoreznore · 3 hours ago
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I need to manhandle him. He gets so bratty and disobedient sometimes. I need to shamelessly grope at his entire body and force him down on his knees to fuck his face with a six inch strap until his throat bruises and he’s seconds from throwing up all over it. I need to slap his face with my plastic dick until it leaves a bright pink mark on his cheek. Now wherever he goes everyone will know what a fucking whore he is.
And I know he’s reading this. And I know it’s getting him off.
Can you feel yourself getting wetter baby? Are you fighting the urge to whine right now? Let it out darling. You know I love how you sound. I’ll have you bent over my desk before you know it, pounding you until you’re losing the ability to speak. Won’t even be able to tell me when it hurts, hm? Oh but you love that shit. You fucking love when I go just a little too deep and it hurts. You love taking it anyway.
I’ll do all the shit that makes you weak- because I know your body, don’t I? You’re all mine, and I know just how to make my puppy tick.
For anyone else reading, my baby loves it when you shove two fingers in him and curl them hard and fast in that spot. He always gasps and whines and tells me he can’t take it in SECONDS. Isn’t that pathetic? I’d love to teach you all how to use him just right so I can watch him get destroyed over and over again.
Would you like that, puppy?
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saphushia · 2 years ago
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DEUCE TRIED TO BEAT ACE WITH A LARGE STICK WHEN THEY MET????????????????
oh my god i get to tell you this i'm so happy. this is going to get long because i just. adore how fucking cringefail deuce is at the start of the novel. the manga is great but it's so important to me how badly this man can fuck up within 10 minutes of meeting a stranger. his ass does NOT know how to keep his foot out of his mouth
going behind a read more bc long and spoiler filled (specifically heavy spoilers (essentially an abridged play-by-play of the first chapter) for Ace's Story book 1 and a little bit of the first chapter of the Episode A manga adaption)
if you don't want spoilers but are curious uhhhh basically deuce got a lil hangry ^-^ thats all ^-^
so, in the manga adaption, deuce pretty immediately warms up to ace, yeah?
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yeah. deuce is pretty fuckin easy in the manga. meanwhile, in the novel, when ace immediately asks for help...
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(if it's unclear, all first person is referring to deuce, the book is written from his POV)
in fact, deuce manages to fail basically every speech check in the first conversation they have together. i'm not kidding look at how fucking bad he is at this.
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my man falls ass first into a rant to a guy he just met and manages to find himself saying 'wow why don't you go cry to your mom and leave me alone to be depressed' to a man who's mom literally died in childbirth. less than 5 minutes after meeting the guy. and the best part? HE KEEPS GOING.
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he's gotta stop there, right? surely? surely even a man who's been stranded on an island alone for 3 days can tell when he's got his foot so wedged in his mouth he's practically deepthroating it? NOPE!
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at this point, you'd think there's literally nothing worse that he can say. you would be so, so wrong.
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MY MAN. MY GUY. i want to hammer in the fact that deuce managed to fuck up a conversation this badly with a man he's literally never met within like, 15 minutes at most. deuce then proceeds to recover from this utter failure at conversation by just. walking away into the woods and proceeding to continue slowly starving to death for several days whilst avoiding ace. he also eats ants on at least one occasion. this isn't really relevant to the hitting ace with a stick thing but it's important to me that you know that. he also despite all of this has this gayass moment
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again, not relevant, but important to me that you know he saw ace failing to sail on the worst raft you've ever seen and still called him 'dashing'. now, at this point, deuce has been without food and with only minimal water for days- probably close to a week, though it's a bit ambiguous. and my guy, brilliantly, thinks to himself 'well. ace doesn't look like he's starving to death. what if he has food?' and sneaks behind ace, following him until he sees ace with a huge fruit (the mera mera no mi).
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all of this... deuce sneaking up on ace planning to fight him for the fruit, kill him if he needs to, because he's the son of roger... and you know what ace fucking does??? you wanna know what this giant depressed puppy of a man fucking says to a guy who was abt to bash his brains out??
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"nice stick!" and deuce just fucking. starts sobbing on the spot out of guilt while they argue both trying to get the other to eat the fruit. they are. so stupid and i love them so much.
so yeah. deuce's first ever interaction with ace is loudly announcing that he'd want to kill himself if he was the son of roger, and his SECOND interaction is him attempting to kill ace with a stick because he's hangry. i love him so much he's so fucking shit.
tldr you're not you when you're hungry and also you should all read the ace novels. because of this and also because ace and deuce get cockblocked on a gay ferris wheel ride by a marine just deciding to jump in the gondola with them and sit there menacingly until ace breaks the door and just jumps out to escape her monologuing abt her traumatic backstory
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arolegos · 2 months ago
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im over it but if she messaged me now i would respond in a heartbeat
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autisticcole · 6 months ago
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Heheheheheho I have gotten some of the Dragon Age books (🏴‍☠️) and this is gonna really let me dig into some stuff, especially my favorite guy Cole, cause now I can read his OG appearance, I want to see how much stuff Cole says, especially during his quest actually makes sense, and how much is in-universe "both sides are right"ing about not listening to what Cole wants to do.
I am mainly talking about Spirit!Cole thanking Inky for not making him change... Despite the fact that thoughout Cole's quest Solas ignores what Cole wants (Like being binded) & wants to do (Kill the guy who beat beyond beating a 12 (at most) year old (most likely, it isn't outright stated (to my memory) the Templar who fucked up the paperwork was also one of the ones who physically abused him, but I feel it's a pretty safe assumption) & got that child killed due to neglect & faced no consequences) but ultimately the choice that causes Cole to thank the player for not changing him is the one where you listen to Solas over Cole (Or well Varric, who also doesn't let Cole do what he wants but is closer to what Cole would have done if he had went alone for the confrontation) & in this route I would say Cole's character changes a lot more, especially as he forgets the original Cole, which... Rubs me wrong, but I'll save my more detailed thoughts for 1. After I fully read Asunder & 2. Either a full Cole analysis or a detailed post about my thoughts on his quest & routes (& maybe how I'd rewrite them, as a Autistic person & a ally to the aroace community)
Anyways my point is that I want to see how true it is characters rejected or wanted to change Cole, I want to see what leads him to feel that having two men argue & tell him who he is supposed to be & do only to have a third person decide out of those two's options for what he should do is remotely a situation where he's been accepted.
#talk tag#my meta#cole meta#da cole#dai cole#dragon age cole#anti Solas#anti varric#just a lil like I love them but also holy hell you can tell they are in a sense in Cole's quest meant to#repesent ''parents who *have to deal with* Autistic children & make their choices for them#which ultimately comes down to how Cole is infantlized despite being around the same age as the intended age for the HoF during DAO#but since he's a Autistic-coded man he is treated by the narrative & thusly by characters like he is far younger & can't make his own choice#& only by losing parts of that coding is he treated a little more like a adult either losing touches of ''humanity''#or having to start having relationships like how a allo nurotypcial would#anyways I am curious if the book has some of these issues or if it is mainly a DAI thing since tbh it has a Ableism issue#I do know that Cole in the book is allowed to be a lot more threatening which I am excited to see for myself#let him be fucked up he is a spooky ghost serial killer with messy morals & messed up ideas on how to help#also I should make my meta/thoery/hc about how the spirit vs demon dycomity is BS & is more based on if#a spirit fights back/has desires that aren't convinent for the mortals around it#''oh it isn't a sprit of justice who wants me dead for killing those mages... it's a demon of vengeance yeah''#''this spirit wants things & isn't just doing what I tell it to... Demon of desire''#anyways thoughts for a different day when I have done more research but it ties into Cole#because how actually different is it to mercy kill mages in hopes of being seen vs kill countless people some of whom are very much-#just acting with survival or protection of their people#in like the grand scheme of the system that decides when something is a spirit & it's a demon#why is it fine for Cole to kill to end others pain but if he does it for himself he is a Demon?#anyways ty for reading#child abuse#child death
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blackgumball · 27 days ago
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i love when shippers (delusionally) act like ppl r erasing lesbians when they care more about the lol yaoi or the lol straights then kate and vi. USUALLY YOU WOULD BE RIGHT people love to overlook wlw ships... but lets be so fr. they are boring. they have a boring dynamic. its not hot. even if i didnt hate coppers it wouldnt be hot. they lack what the gay and straight couple have. kate vi is too...... corporate.
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reflectionsofgalaxies · 4 months ago
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tomorrow is my first day of classes as I go back to school for the first time in eight years and my family has picked today to blow up at each other and drag me into it
#VERY long story short#after my Papa died my dad buying the house out from my mom became a real possibility again#so all of us slowed down on the house sale stuff#and that included me shifting my focus from packing and looking for a place to getting ready to start school#but as of about two and a half hours ago my father is again freaking the fuck out#and saying we need to have the house ready to go on the market in seven fucking days#bc my mom has asked for a downpayment which he says he can’t afford#(when I asked him how much she was asking for he said he didn’t know. so it’s less ‘can’t’ and more ‘doesn’t want to’ but whatever)#anyway I asked him to ask bc if it comes down to it I would prefer to loan my dad the money for the downpayment#bc in exchange I get stability while I go back to school and the money I lose in interest would just be going to increased rent anyway#so now I get a text from my mother saying ‘do not give your father money for the downpayment’#and I’ve been trying so hard to be supportive of them both without it seeming like I’m ‘taking sides’#but I kind of snapped and said ‘I love you but don’t tell me what to do. I’m not doing this to ‘bail dad out’’#‘I’m doing this bc it’s the best option for me right now.’#and now she’s not responding to me#I fucking hate this#she needs the money. I need a stable place to live. let me loan him the money so YOU have the money mom!#I know you’re worried he won’t pay me back bc he’s proven to be less than honest with his finances in the past but also.#I’m his only kid. not to be macabre but I’ll be getting it back eventually one way or another unless he somehow writes me out of his will.#just fuckin. I’m supposed to be reading through my syllabuses and figuring out bullshit websites for school rn.#I don’t want to be dealing with family drama and impending homelessness rn pls chill#personal
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snekdood · 5 months ago
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ive literally never understood antisemitism and i dont think I ever will. literally 0 basis for any of the conspiracy theories. its always just projection from christians.
#'you want to drink blood and control the world' baby girl you ritualistically drink the blood of your god all the time and convinced ppl#that proselytizing was a Positive And Good Thing You Should Do. dont talk about wanting to control the world.#DONT TALK ABOUT WANTING TO CONTROL THE WORLD- WHEN YOU LITERALLY WANT TO DO IT LIKE YOU MAKE IT BLATANTLY#CLEAR I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AWARE OF THIS YOU CAN JUST SMELL THE AUTHORITARIANISM OFF YOUR SUIT#AND THATS EVEN BEFORE WE GET INTO THE ACTUAL POLITICS! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!#YOU WANT TO CONTROL WOMEN! YOU WANT TO CONTROL PEOPLES SEX LIVES! YOU WANT TO FORCE WOMEN TO GIVE BIRTH!#YOU WANT TO ERADICATE TRANS PEOPLE! YOU HATE PEOPLE OF COLOR! YOU WANT TO CONTROL WHAT BOOKS PEOPLE READ#AND WHAT PEOPLE LEARN IN SCHOOL#YALL L I T E R A L L Y OUT IN THE OPEN SAY YOU WANT TO TURN AMERICA INTO A 'CHRISTIAN NATION'#SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT NEW WORLD ORDER AND TRYING TO CONTROL THE WORLD AND STOP FUCKING PROJECTING#IF ANY POLITICIAN HERE SAID THEY WANTED TO MAKE AMERICA A JEWISH NATION YALL WOULD LOSE YOUR SHIT#BUT SUDDENLY ITS FINE WHEN ITS YOUR CAMP???? IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOUR ISSUE ISNT ACTUALLY BEING CONCERNED#ABOUT JEWISH PEOPLE SOMEHOW NEBULOUSLY EFFECTING AND CONTROLLING SOCIETY AND MORE ABOUT YOU WANTING#TO CONTROL SOCIETY AND NEEDING A SCAPEGOAT TO ATTACK SO PEOPLE DONT SEE YOUR ASS FOR WHAT IT IS#i think yall assume that just bc you want to control everything that so does everyone else and you just dont like what values other ppl hav#you should really live and let live. do some fucking shrooms you square. stop trying to control everything and everyone around#you. worry about you. lord knows you aren't being a perfect little christian like you probably tell yourself- not if you're openly#advocating for tearing away peoples rights.
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lokissweater · 4 months ago
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talk baby ⋆。°✩
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{mlb!megumi fushiguro x f!reader}
summary: it’s the season of the world series!— your little life with megumi absolutely warm and loving as you spent every waking moment together, the both of you never failing to hang out or speak to one another since the very moment you two made it official. but when the higher ups start demanding more of megumi to bring the world series home, tiring him out and causing him to lose sleep? a wedge is driven between you both as megumi tells you words he wished he’d never said.
warnings: MDNI. afab!reader, cursing, FLUFF, ANGSTYY, p in v sex, unprotected sex (wrap it yall), SMUT, baseball talk, megumi LOOVESS YOUU my goodness, DONINANT AF MEGUMI OBVIOUSLYYY, creampie, shower sex, DIRTY TALK megumi has a filthy mouth, megumi and reader get into a fight, it’s the world series, all characters are aged up.
word count: 12.5k (IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY-)
authors note: THE WAIT IS FINALLY OVERRR FUCK i cannot thank you all enough for the support with these series. i saw all of your AMAZING suggestions and sprinkled them all over THANK YOU!! i POURED my heart into this and i really hope you all love itttttt :,( STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT FIC OF THIS SERIES AAHHH!! I LOVE YOU MWAHHH <33
i highly highly advise you to read the first part of this fic or else you won’t be able to understand some of the storyline and references :( you can find it here!
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megumi fushiguro loved how much you talked.
“—and then i went to the bakery down the street from my campus to get that one coffee cake i always get? the one you brought me after my class?”
“mhm.”
“but they were freaking out of it it’s like they knew i was coming to take their stock man. it was seven in the morning how the fuck are you out of coffee cake?”
megumi laughed softly and pressed a slow sweet kiss to your cheek, readjusting his arms around your waist as he scooched your body closer to his on his lap, the both of you on his huge black bean bag that sat in his living room as he leaned the side of his head back on your shoulder, relaxed and a little sleepy.
“so then i had to go to the one on campus, even though i already know it doesn’t taste the same…” you sighed sadly. “what if they did that on purpose? what if they want me to stop coming?”
megumi huffed an amused breath through his nose and shook his head gently against your shoulder. “don’t think so baby. i feel like you keep them in business with how much you go.”
you huffed and crossed your arms, grumbling. “yet they treat me like this...”
tilting your head down then to get a better look at him, you peeked at his sleepy face and tired eyes as he tried his absolute hardest to stay awake for you, wanting to listen to everything you had to say and more, but his eyelids drooping every couple of seconds before opening back up again just not letting him.
you smiled softly and carded your fingers through his black hair, pushing the front strands back and giving him a cute peck on his forehead.
“take a nap gumi… you’re so tired i can see it.”
“uh uh.” megumi hummed.
he lifted his head groggily and propped his chin up on your shoulder, eyes closed.
“keep going.” he murmured, his words a little slurred. “did you end up getting your coffee cake from the other bakery..?”
“i did.” you responded softly, caressing your thumb over his warm cheek as your soothing voice lulled him. “it was nasty. the end. c’mon baby you have practice tomorrow—”
“no.”
“gumi it’s late i don’t want to keep you uuupp.” you whined, nudging him.
“if you sleep over.” he mumbled.
“but i have class tomorrow.”
“i’ll take you.”
“but you always do and i feel bad…” you pinched his cheek softly. “it’s okay i can—”
“don’t care.”
you giggled. “well i do. i want you to get more sleep gumi, your practices are crazy long now and you have them like everyday—”
he groaned loudly and ushered you up, you complying as you watched him lazily stand from the bean bag and grab you, baggy eyes half lidded as he picked you up from around your legs and threw you over his shoulder— something he always did ever since the day he confessed, and something you absolutely floored over whenever he did it.
your giggles rang through his quiet and spacious apartment that made him sleepily smile as he lazily carried you down the hall and to his room, setting you softly to sit on his plush bed as he pressed a sleepy kiss to the top of your head, though nearly almost missing, him leaning back up and grabbing the hem of his black shirt— pulling it over his head and carelessly tossing it somewhere in the room before climbing into bed.
you felt so so bad. the team’s schedule was released just two weeks prior, and seeing as the world series was coming up— the most important segment of competitive games they could possibly ever have, the coaches and managers were grinding and overworking their players to pure fucking filth, them wanting to keep their streak as the number one baseball team no matter what it took.
and because of that, megumi was always so tired and stressed— holding on day by day as the higher ups demanded so much of him because he was the most skilled on the team, him spending his days trying to stay awake and make time for you— picking you up from class and taking you out to lunch like he always did, but your worried gaze always on his dark under eyes as you insisted and told him already that you understood, that he didn’t need to right now if it was over the subject of his career.
and especially if it was for the world series.
“lay down.” he murmured, patting the pillow next to him as he peeked at you with one eye open.
you stood, pulled the covers back and hopped in, megumi’s arm immediately snaking around your waist and pulling your back to his bare chest, his face nuzzling in your hair as you noticed how quickly his breathing deepened, falling asleep almost the minute you got settled in his arms and fitting like a little puzzle piece.
it had been almost an entire year since you and megumi started dating, and you have never ever been happier in your life as you thanked your lucky stars over and over again for being such a dumbass— wholly believing that if one thing had changed, it wouldn’t have played out the way that it did.
and you adored the way that it played out.
megumi was so affectionate. everyday. his love language being physical touch as he literally never left you alone and always had to be touching you in any given situation— like his hand on your thigh whenever he drove, playing with your fingers from across the table while out at a restaurant… and like now, his toned body literally engulfing you into his that it made you feel so cared for and warm and loved, something you always wanted to feel for the rest of your life as long as it was with him.
the next morning he drove you to school like he said he would, and then went straight to practice after, you telling him that you would be there once your classes were over.
and when you did get to the stadium later that day, megumi was mad.
“what the fuck happened?” you quickly sat next to your best friend on the sidelines, her snickering as you both watched megumi tell off another player for fumbling a double play on the field.
“they’re making more errors today,” your girl friend sighed. “they’re all nervous since their division series game is tomorrow and they’re getting closer to the big thing… but megumi is not having it.”
“you bobbled the ball go to first fucking base and eat it what the hell are you doing trying to—”
you gnawed at your bottom lip.
it was common for megumi to bark out orders and take charge on the field, that wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it was only here and there where he was yelling and insulting the rest of his teammates like that (mostly rarely). a sign you knew was because he was stressing the fuck out.
“what you just did was a kiddie fucking error we won’t make it to the world series like this dingus the fuck are you—”
you covered your face and groaned. “i can’t watch… i don’t think i’ve seen him like this since that one day he asked me to come here.”
“you mean the day he ate you out in—”
“shuuushhh!” your hands shot out and slapped over her mouth as she let out a muffled laugh, your eyes wide and cheeks pink as you frantically looked around to see if anybody had heard her.
she took your wrists then and pulled them away. “have you guys even had sex yet? how many times am i gonna ask you until you say yes—”
you nudged her away. “no! we haven’t yet.”
you didn’t know why you hadn’t— the topic just one that was never brought up by either of you.
but you’ve definitely done other things though.
megumi was like a dog, not knowing the meaning of ‘keep your hands to yourself’ as he was always groping your ass in public out of no where just to hear you squeak in surprise, shoving his hands down your pants and making you cum repeatedly on his fingers when you’re both innocently just watching a movie on his couch, pressing his face into your tits and sucking hickeys whenever you wore a low cut shirt, and bullying his way in between your legs to lick and devour you up whenever he felt like it— all things he did with zero hesitation nor self control.
you weren’t complaining though, definitely not— you were just as freaky.
because every time megumi wore those gray sweatpants after practices that you loved oh so very much, no shirt on with his perfect toned body out only for your eyes— your mouth was on him, licking his chest all the way down to his pelvis, tugging the waistband of his sweatpants and boxers down until all that was left before you was his mlb dick, you taking him into your mouth and sucking the absolute life out of him until he was shaking and breathlessly chanting your pretty name like a prayer—
“break!”
you pulled yourself from your thoughts and stood, your eyes already watching the way megumi walked over from across the field with his head down, chest heaving and his face glistening with sweat against the setting sun, his baseball uniform covered in dirt.
both you and your girl friend walked down the steps and towards the bullpen, you quickly grabbing a clean white hand towel from the gatorade jug rack beforehand and catching up, spotting yuji and megumi already seated inside on a bench.
upon megumi noticing you coming up, he smiled softly, tiredly.
“you guys are sucking today.” your best friend deadpanned, and you elbowed her.
“no. you guys just look really nervous… is everything okay?”
you took a seat next to megumi and silently offered the clean towel, him gently bringing up your extended wrist and pecking it in gratitude before taking the towel and wiping down his face, your cheeks flushing in response.
yuji sighed deeply and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. “everyone’s literally losing it. we win every year but each year that comes is extra added pressure to keep that up.”
megumi nodded wordlessly in agreement, his head hung.
“well this is your first bad practice isn’t it?” you softly mentioned.
“yeah… maybe it’s just today and you guys will be okay tomorrow.” your girl friend added, smiling comfortingly at yuji, him giving her the same smile back but with apprehension in his eyes.
“would’ve been fine if it was yesterday.” megumi cut in, voice monotone. “not today. not when it’s the last leg for the world series.”
he leaned back against the wall and crossed his arms with closed eyes, yuji nodding next to him.
you pulled your lips into a thin line, heavy anxiety brewing in your chest at the thought of them possibly losing before even getting into the league championships, something their team has never done before as they’ve always just gone straight through.
in order to get through to the world series, their team has to win the division series and the league championships, then they earn their rightful shining spot of playing in the world series and winning— something megumi has been a part of for almost three years now, and something the team has dominated over for five consecutive years straight.
but what if this year was different?
“how are you feeling?” you gently asked megumi after a bit. “i saw you were a little mad today on the field…”
he slowly pried his eyes open and looked at you, sighing softly through his nose.
“m’fine pretty baby.” he murmured. “they’re just not playing like they should be.”
megumi took his cap off and scratched the side of his head, his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. “and neither am i to be honest.”
your eyes softened.
“what do you mean?”
“m’just not meeting the standards i set for myself.”
“but you play well in every game gumi..” you mumbled. “don’t overwork yourself please. just keep doing what you’ve been doing… it’s been going great so far, hasn’t it?”
he gave you a little smile and lazily reached up to delicately caress and run the ends of your hair through his fingers. “i need to amp it up though. i need to try harder.”
“try harder when you’re already winning?” you quirked a confused brow.
he nodded.
“what’s the reason behind that?”
megumi gave you a sly smile. “because you’ll be watching me.”
you gawked, shaking your head at him. “gumi, you know anything that you do makes me freak out and it’s embarrassing...” you subconsciously tugged a bit at the sides of his jersey. “the way you tied my shoes for me the other day made me freak out. the way you pumped my gas last week made me freak out. the way you stuck your fingers inside my pu—”
his eyes bulged open as he shot forward and muffled you with a kiss, you kissing him back and laughing cutely once he pulled away.
“nasty mouth…” he mumbled, but the little grin on his face made you giggle as he put his cap back on over his head and nudged it down, trying to conceal his eyes and the blushing of his cheeks— but you catching on anyways.
“how was class?” he asked quietly, readjusting his cap. “did you get your coffee cake after i dropped you off?”
you shook your head. “no because i’d rather die than get the one on campus. they need to close that place down.”
megumi snorted, but his eyebrows pinched momentarily as he took your hand in his and started playing with your fingers. “you should’ve told me. i would’ve drove you to the one you like.”
“no gumi i wasn’t gonna make you do that... i wanted you to sleep in as much as possible.”
“i’ll take you after practice.”
“no! you need to nap after don’t waste time—”
“m’not wasting time.” he replied, but before you could get another word in, his coach called all players back on field.
“i’ll see you after.” he stood and pecked your forehead. “i love you pretty baby.”
you smiled shyly, your cheeks a cute pink.
“i love you too.”
thankfully, megumi didn’t seem as pissed off for the rest of practice, and you hoped it was because of the little chat you had with him in the bullpen prior and that it cheered him up in some way— the team playing a lot better and actually working together this time instead of being at each others throats over feeble mistakes.
and when they were all finally back at the locker rooms packed up and ready to go, you organized his clean uniform for tomorrow and hung his gloves neatly inside his locker, closing it once you were done.
“you don’t have to do that baby.” he murmured, gesturing to his locker as he swung his duffel bag over his shoulder and extended a hand. “organize. i can do that.”
“but i like doing it...” you took his offering hand and interlaced your fingers with his. “it helps you find things quicker.”
you both stepped out, quickly bidding your girl friend and yuji goodbye on the way as you walked down the echoey hallway together.
“—you also don’t have to drive me to school every morning but you do that anyways.”
he smiled. “touché.”
he led you out of the arena and over to the private parking area for players and crew— him opening the passenger side door for you to step inside and shutting it after, throwing his duffel bag to the back once he got in the drivers seat.
and like he always did, megumi buckled you up himself, grabbing the seat belt strap and pulling it over you to click on the other side with a kiss to your cheek— him never letting you do it yourself since the day you two properly met.
“do they sell food at the bakery?” he looked over at you as he pulled out. “they do don’t they.”
“they do!” you nodded sweetly. “but we’re not going.”
“why.”
“because you need to sleep—”
“no.”
“megumi—”
he shot you a glare and you squeaked.
“gumi! i-i meant gumi!”
he fixed his glare and broke out into a small smile instead, laughing lightly as he set his big hand over your thigh and squeezed lovingly.
you giggled softly.
“lunch first and then i’ll sleep.”
“oh my—”
you reached over for the door handle and pulled, brows furrowing once the lock wouldn’t budge after multiple frantic tries.
“you still have child lock on?!”
megumi shielded his mouth to hide his snicker, eyes to the road.
“uh huh.”
“why?!”
he gave you a deadpanned look and pointed to the door. “exhibit a, baby. the car is moving.”
“gumi if you hate me just say that.”
pulling into the bakery’s parking lot, he playfully rolled his eyes at your comment and pinched your cheek gently.
“be quiet.”
the bakery was a cute little place that was a frequent pit stop for the both of you to pick up breakfast on the way to the things you had to do in the mornings— always cozy and warm and filled with little trinkets and postcards of places from around the world, you always gushing when you or megumi would spot a new souvenir on the walls or on the shelves, and him sometimes having to stop you from snatching some for yourself…
“they have a million!” you whispered. “they won’t notice this one. please it’s from greece it’ll look cute on my fridge!”
megumi sipped his lemonade and gave you a half lidded look as you both sat in a booth.
“i don’t know if anyone has ever told you this but.” he gently slid the coffee cake closer to you, silently ushering you to eat. “that’s called stealing.”
“not if they don’t notice.”
megumi gave you an amused smile.
“i’ll take one for you too!”
“for me?”
“yeah!” you put your elbow on the table and propped your chin on your palm, tilting your head with the cutest expression megumi has ever seen in his fucking life.
“i’d do anything for you.”
his cheeks flooded pink, and he swallowed thickly.
megumi would do anything for you.
“i appreciate that pretty baby,” he murmured, tenderly tracing the pad of his index finger mindlessly around the back of your hand.
“great! so can i do it?”
“no.”
“maaannnn!” you slumped over the table and pouted. “you’re no fun.”
he chuckled and took a bite out of his ham and cheese deli, your mannerisms sometimes reminding him of his dad.
he swallowed.
“gojo wants to meet you.”
you froze. “really? he does?”
megumi nodded.
“okay! that’s okay— wait no! wait—” you groaned and leaned against the booth. “i don’t think he’s gonna like me very much…”
“huh?” his eyebrows furrowed. “why do you say that?”
you peered up at him sheepishly. “because i talk too much… i’m not gonna notice and end up telling him my lore, my school gpa, and my social security number.”
megumi laughed, and your heart fluttered at the sight of his crinkling eyes and gorgeous smile, the sound of it making you swoon.
he shook his head and rubbed his sleepy eyelids. “no baby... he’d love you. i know he would.”
“i don’t know gumi…” you sighed, looking down at your lap. “i want to meet him of course! that’s a given… but..”
megumi quirked a brow. “but?”
“i just don’t want to look stupid…” you laughed nervously. “it’s happened before where my friends parents say i’m a blabber mouth and i don’t want to embarrass you—”
his tired eyes narrowed. “blabber mouth? who’s saying you’re a blabber mouth?”
“my— my ex boyfriend in high school…” you cowered a little. “but it’s okay because i was over sharing!—”
“no.” he said firmly, his gaze looking directly into yours. “you’re not a blabbermouth. there’s a difference between being really open and friendly with people right off the bat and being a blabbermouth.”
megumi shook his head in annoyance. how could someone ever say you were a blabbermouth? he had never heard something that was so far from the truth.
you were too sweet for your own good, that was your only fault. you considered everyone you met a close friend of yours and weren’t afraid to tell them whatever came to your precious mind and made them feel welcome— something that megumi adored so much about you… so much, and something that made him borderline violent when people berated you for it.
“they just can’t handle it when someone is actually genuine. like you. and that’s not your fault.”
the shiniest smile grew on your face then, your eyes sparkling and feeling like a million fucking butterflies were fluttering all over your tummy— internally screaming at his words.
“thank you gumi…” you spoke softly. “i’m glad at least you don’t see an issue with it.”
“i don’t.” he shook his head. “i don’t at all.”
he loved it.
the rest of your lunch date was spent with megumi still not letting you steal the greece trinket magnet from the wall, you scolding him for the bags under his eyes, and him buying you two more slices of coffee cake to go no matter how many times you told him it was okay, the both of you gathering your things and going back to his car after a bit for him to drop you off back home.
“i’ll be here in the morning to take you to class.” he said gently, turning the corner and nearing your street.
“what? isn’t the division series game tomorrow?” you asked, taken aback. “gumi no just get as much sleep as you can it’s a big day. i can take myself.”
he looked at you boredly.
“no.”
“guumiii!”
he pulled into your driveway and shifted his gear into park, the corners of his mouth turned upward into a little goofy grin.
“i can take you baby it’s fine,” he pushed gently. “don’t worry.”
“you’ve been stressed though… and tired.”
you unbuckled your seatbelt and reached over, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him in as he immediately leaned in and tucked his face into your neck, breathing in your honeyed perfume and letting himself slump into your soft frame.
“please promise me that after the division series, you’ll rest up like crazy before the league championships.” he pulled back slightly to look at you, his eyes nearly closing as he sleepily blinked. “okay?”
“league championships? didn’t know we already won.” he murmured.
you giggled. “obviously. you’re my cool baseball man, are you not?”
he tiredly grinned and pressed a sweet sweet kiss to your cheek, him biting down on it after and making you yelp before snickering and pulling away.
“bye gumi,” you quickly grabbed a slice of coffee cake and placed it on his leg. “here eat this on the way home so you don’t fall asleep.”
he chuckled and watched as you grabbed your things, hopped out, and ran across the front of his car, leaning your head in through his open window once you reached him and pressing your soft lips to his, megumi fucking melting at the feeling.
you pulled apart and he pecked you one last time— a series of i love you’s iterated before you backed away and waved excitedly from your front door, him waiting until you were inside to reverse, his engine roaring and his black car shining against the moonlight as he sped down the street.
the next morning you got up around the time that you usually did, showered and did your hair and got ready for class, packed your school bag and made your bed—
but megumi hadn’t texted you. like at all.
he usually sent you a good morning text, followed by him letting you know when he was leaving the house, followed by when he was on his way, and followed by when he was just down the street and pulling up.
except you got nothing.
you figured maybe today was just one of those days where he maybe just simply forgot and was already on his way, but as you stood literally outside of your house, gnawing on your thumb and the time coming painfully close to the start of your morning class as you still got nothing from megumi (even when you had texted him multiple times at this point), you started shitting it.
just as you were about to run inside to get the keys to your car, your phone buzzed as a picture of you and megumi flashed across the screen.
megumi!
“hel—”
“baby!—” he breathed out, frantic. “baby i’m sorry i’m so sorry i’m coming okay im down the street—”
“what happened?” you breathed out worriedly, your heart hammering against your chest.
“i overslept!—” he explained quickly. “i’m late to the team’s call time and— and you’re late to class and i— fuck!”
you heard his horn blare and his tires screech as muffled curses flew from his mouth, you jumping at the noise.
“sorry sorry someone cut me off i’m almost there—”
“no gumi go straight to the stadium you’re late!” you spoke firmly. “i can take myself—”
“no but i wanted to see you before the game—”
“it’s fine we can see each other after the game okay? when you win—” you grabbed your keys from the coffee table by your door and ran out, unlocking your car and getting in. “you’re late baby so fucking late please turn back this isn’t good coach is gonna chew you out—”
“shit! i know i know—”
“go gumi hang up it’s okay!”
“okay.. fuck okay okay—”
you heard rustling on the other line before he spoke again.
“i love you i’m sorry ill see you after!”
and the line went dead.
you slugged through the rest of your classes as the day felt way fucking longer than it normally did, you desperately just wanting to see megumi and know that he was okay, that he wasn’t in trouble with his coach and the management team for being over an hour late to the division series call time, you on the verge of literal tears multiple times over him.
your best friend and you had planned to get ready for the game together and sport your men’s jerseys from the stands— a girl’s night you were agonizingly looking forward to all freaking month, and so so excited that the day was finally here to support and be present for the making of yet another year for the boys’ team.
“and then he hung up. i thought he was gonna get into a wreck man—”
you ran your fingers through your styled hair in your vanity mirror, your best friend readjusting her jersey behind you— ‘itadori’ in big capital letters on the back.
“megumi is the most hard headed mean stubborn man i have ever come across in my life.” she searched around in her makeup bag, pulling out her lip liner and reapplying next to you. “i don’t know how many times you told him to sleep and get some rest. and yuji too! he hasn’t stopped talking about him since the schedule change and now i’m starting to think he’s in love with him.”
you laughed loudly.
“i know…” you sighed anxiously through your nose, nervous clammy jitters in your chest. “his eye bags have gotten so bad this past week.”
“i think it’s because he’s been practicing over time.”
you stopped.
“what do you mean?”
she looked at you quizzically. “i thought you knew? yuji told me that the higher ups had a meeting with megumi and told him that they were expecting him to bring the world series home.”
she popped the lid back on her lip liner and threw it in her bag. “he practices all night on the field until like four am.”
“what the fuck?” your eyes narrowed. “he never told me that? he picks me up for my seven am class everyday… that means he’s only been getting what— like two and a half hours of sleep this past week?”
she stopped. “he didn’t tell you?”
“no!” you exclaimed. “when was this meeting?”
“at the start of last week.”
“oh my god.” you grumbled.
why didn’t he tell you?
“that’s fucked up.” she shook her head. “talk to him about that after babe… i don’t know why this man didn’t tell you something like that.”
“i would’ve never let him pick me up for class if i knew this was going on…” you gloomily fiddled with the buttons on your jersey. “or hang out with me after practice.”
and why the hell were the higher ups demanding so much from megumi? why were they burning him out with a responsibility so huge as to ensuring the success of the team for the world series? that wasn’t fair to him. that wasn’t fair at all.
your girl friend hugged you comfortingly.
“it’s fine don’t worry about it okay?… just talk to him after.”
once at the stadium, you and your best friend squeezed and pushed through the crowd to get to the v.i.p. section, the both of you sweating and panting over having run across the stadium’s parking lot and the main area, all because your best friend couldn’t decide which way to do her hair, and because you couldn’t decide if you should wear a skirt or jeans.
you ended up choosing for each other and calling it a day.
“hey! you guys!”
you both snapped your heads up and you recognized the source of the voice as one of the assistant crew members of the team, jogging up to you guys with two devices in his hands.
“you guys want these radios or are you good? they’re connected to the announcers and have earbuds!”
“oh i’ll take one! thank you!” you answered politely, smiling as he passed you and your best friend a radio.
you pushed the earbud into your left ear and sat.
the crowd was buzzing and cheering with excitement, flashes of light shimmering throughout the sold out stadium as many held up posters and signs or bobble heads, you smiling wide every time you spotted a few of megumi’s face and name.
the air was warm, and every kind of news reporter, publicist, and journalist was present on the sidelines as they filmed and interviewed several players from the opposing team.
“let’s play ball!”
the crowed roared, claps and whistles ringing through the air as yuji walked out from the dugout, the both of you screaming as the rest of the team followed suit, your shoulders evidently relaxing at the sight of megumi jogging out into position looking absolutely jaw dropping in his clean cut uniform and cap, serious and focused.
as the game ensued, it was no surprise that the boys’ team was absolutely demolishing the opposing players, megumi doing fucking stellar out on the field as he caught ball after ball with his glove, the announcers commentary certainly helping with explaining the context of the game due to your lack of knowledge, but you trying your hardest anyways to understand on your own.
and finally after a while of switching sides and megumi hitting like a greek god, the teams switched sides what seemed like the final time since it was almost the nine inning, his turn to hit.
“walking up to base now… number eighteen— megumi fushiguro!”
the crowd went fucking insane as he walked up, you immediately standing and screaming over the railing as he took his position up there— swinging soft faux hits before properly adjusting his footing on the loose dirt, fans waving around their fushiguro banners or his baseball cards as he settled.
the bags under his eyes…
you gnawed anxiously at your bottom lip. his team was so close to moving on to the league championships…
“and the pitcher throws….”
hit!
“strike one!”
megumi screwed his eyes shut and grimaced, shaking his head furiously as he shook the nerves from his body and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve.
“oh!” the announcers groaned. “looks like megumi fushiguro missed a hit for the first time in history!”
for the first time?
you whipped your head around to face your girl friend. “for the first time?”
she looked at you with the same terrorized expression.
“fuck i knew he always hit but i didn’t know he never missed…” you whined worriedly. “he’s exhausted man i can see it look—”
megumi’s footing slightly slipped from the dirt as he positioned himself, getting ready for the next swing.
“and the pitcher throws again…”
hit!
“strike two!”
“fuck!” megumi roared, walking off the home plate and chucking his bat to the wall— the wood flying and clattering as it hit the ground, your eyes widening in horror.
“woah looks like fushiguro got another strike and.. needs to take a breather off the field..?”
“if megumi doesn’t get this next hit, they’re done!” your girl friend shook her head, eyes wide and afraid. “the other team is gonna take it!”
you ran your fingers through your hair exasperatedly, frantically looking at the scoreboard and back at megumi who was pacing a little off the plate with his head down, his hands on his hips.
“fushiguro!” you spotted yuji yelling from the dugout. “get back on the plate! we could get flagged!”
megumi’s chest heaved as he picked up his bat and wiped off the dirt, walking back over to the home plate and repositioning himself.
cameras flashed and recorded as he tried to get back into focus, news reporters talking their asses off and journalists scribbling god knows what— as they just earned themselves their biggest headline of the season.
megumi fushiguro missed his first hit in playing history.
“and the pitcher throws…”
hit!
“oh there it goes! looks like a fair ball!”
the crowd rallies as megumi books it over the first two bases, everyone watching as the ball hits over the outfield fence as he fucking dashes across the remaining two bases like nothing, earning himself a home run—
and scoring a spot in the league championship games for his team.
you and your best friend jump for complete joy, throwing your arms around each other and swaying as fans all around you celebrated and cheered just like the both of you, you happily watching the players from the dugout run up and engulf megumi in a group hug, jumping and laughing.
as the crowd began to disperse and take leave, you both quickly ran down the steps and to the field, you immediately spotting megumi and running up to him with your arms out.
“gumi!”
he noticed you and extended his arms, but his face read nothing as you jumped into them.
“good job good job! you did so amazing!”
“nice fushiguro!” yuji nudged his shoulder. “you brought us through!”
“i missed the first two hits.”
he set you back down.
yuji shrugged. “so? it happens. i do it all the time! you made a home run and scored us the league.”
megumi only silently nodded, his face to the ground as you told yuji and your best friend that you would see them in the locker rooms with everybody else.
and once everyone had cleared out from the field, you turned to him.
“hey…” you started. “what’s wrong?”
his eyes remained glued to the dirt.
“i missed the first two hits.”
your shoulders deflated. “you heard what yuji said… it’s okay. it was bound to happen but it’s fine because you fixed it—”
“we were on thin fucking ice today.”
his snippy tone took you by surprise a bit.
“yes… but you made it...” you responded softly. “you all pulled through. especially you.”
he scoffed and shook his head, him finally raising his baggy eyes and looking to the side, pissed.
“i almost cost us the league. that’s what i did.”
“gumi—” you exhaled a frustrated breath. “you literally played like a machine the entire time and had other hits that were amazing? i don’t understand why two little strikes—”
his eyes snapped to yours. “two little strikes?” he shook his head again. “two strikes too fucking many.”
“what is your issue?—”
“my issue is that if i fucked up that third hit it would’ve been all over. we would’ve lost the division, lost the league, and lost the world series, all because i don’t know how to fucking play ball—”
“yes you do! you’re being way too hard on yourself baby you need to take a breather and rest—”
“how many times have you nagged me about that already.” he spat.
you froze.
“nagged?” you repeated softly.
“yes. you’ve told me enough times i get it i need rest, i need sleep, i need this i need that—”
“i’m saying that because look at you!” you motioned with your hands, feeling potential tears prickling at the back of your eyes at the way he was speaking to you. “your under eyes are dark and purple, your eyes are red you look exhausted!”
“and i told you i’m fine!” he raised his voice a bit. “you wouldn’t understand the shit that i have to do for this team the shit i have to pull and i gave them absolute garbage today—”
“oh my god megumi!” you snapped. “your team is a team effort! it’s not just you! you’re not the only one pulling the stops so enough with trying to take on this load and overwork yourself! please you played amazing today everyone was cheering so loud for you and—”
“stop talking.”
you paused.
“just—” he rubbed his tired eyes and turned to the side. “just please stop talking.”
stop… talking?
he struck a chord, and you felt your heart literally break at his words, an aching heavy pit in your chest as you recounted his yelling and snappiness when all you were trying to do was help him.
thats all you’ve ever tried to do for megumi really— help him, support him, and love him. but for him to throw it all back in your face and say you didn’t understand? for you to basically shut up?
tears were slipping past your eyes at this point, and when you felt like megumi finally bothered to look at you in the face, his eyes widened and his shoulders dropped.
“baby—”
“and what about you?”
he stopped. “about me—”
“yes about you. you’re saying i don’t understand anything you’re fucking going through, as if i haven’t followed you through your career since the moment we met and before that, like i haven’t supported you on the sidelines and asked you question after question about your games just so i can fucking understand—”
“no i—”
you cut him off. “and then you’re here— yelling at me, telling me off, and telling me to shut up when i’m the only one fucking standing here with you after the game trying to be there for you?!—”
“baby— fuck i’m sorry okay i didn’t mean—”
you laughed bitterly. “you didn’t mean it. didn’t mean what? to accidentally let it slip that you actually do think i’m a blabbermouth?”
he was taken aback as his eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head desperately. “no— no that’s not what i meant at all y/n i’m sorry. i’ve been so stressed and tired and i’m taking it all out on you right now and— and that’s not okay and not an excuse.”
megumi quickly stepped forward and placed his hands on your face, but you pushed him away, hurt flashing across his eyes as you did so.
“and why didn’t you tell me about the meeting huh? the one with the higher ups last week?”
surprise crossed his face. “how did you—”
“doesn’t matter how i heard it. why didn’t you tell me? do you understand how that makes me feel when i have to find out through someone else and not my own boyfriend?”
he ran a hand through his spiky black hair and sighed exhaustedly.
“i didn’t tell you because i knew you would be upset about it and i didn’t want you to worry—”
“so you just chose to keep it from me that’s real nice.” you spat. “of course i wouldn’t be happy with it they’re stripping you down and exploiting you! how could they say that it’s all on you to bring it home for the world series? do you understand how insane that sounds?”
“i know but i can’t tell them anything i just have to say yes!” he explained.
“you have every right to tell them something! and if you would’ve communicated this with me like you should’ve done, i wouldn’t have let you lose so much sleep over me and maybe you wouldn’t have played the way you think you played, and you wouldn’t be standing here shitting all over me!”
he really struck a chord.
“y/n—”
“bye megumi.”
his breath hitched.
“no— hey don’t do that—”
he scrambled after you as you made your way out of the field, him quickly catching up and tugging you into him with his long arms around your shoulders, bringing your back to his front as he ducked his face down.
“let’s fix it please we need to fix this—”
“i want to be alone right now, megumi.” you mumbled.
god he hated how many times you’ve called him that already tonight, feeling like the biggest asshole to ever grace your precious life.
“no i don’t want you to be upset with me please—”
“we can talk later on the phone.” your tone was lifeless. “i just need to be alone.”
he faltered, feeling gutting pain cascade all over his body as he hesitantly, slowly, slipped his arms away and released you.
“o—okay.”
he watched you walk up the stands and to the exit as you clutched yourself, his eyes catching the back of your jersey reading his last name that sent an immediate pang through his chest, your frame disappearing from his view and leaving him in his stupid thoughts as he snatched his cap off from his head and threw it to the side in frustration.
that night megumi tried to call you but you didn’t pick up, you barely even answering his texts as he wallowed in self pity alone in his apartment.
and you hadn’t stopped crying since the moment your tears hit on the field— hurt and exhausted and guilty as you settled into bed, unable to bring yourself to call him and go through with your word, deciding to text instead.
(you): i’m really tired i’m sorry. i’ll see if i can call you in the morning.
megumi took no time at all to respond.
(gumi <3): can i take you to class tomorrow?
(you): i don’t think that’s a good idea
he swallowed the lump in his throat and fought back the urge to fight it, wanting to respect you and your space.
but you only kept crying.
(gumi <3): okay
(you): goodnight
(gumi <3): goodnight pretty baby
just as you were about to place your phone back on your nightstand, it buzzed again.
(gumi <3): i love you i’m sorry
you sniffled and put your phone away officially, choosing not to respond.
the following week leading up to the league championship game, megumi spent every waking moment trying to make it up to you, trying to fix it, but you only seemed to stay away from him and distance yourself, something that hurt megumi like no other.
you felt like it was your fault he played the way he did that day. if you had been smarter, more mindful, you would’ve noticed that the intensity of his exhaustion was extremely abnormal, and perhaps you could’ve done something about it before it was too late and saved yourself the dreadful fight you had with him.
you hated the way you spoke to him, and you fully convinced yourself that you only served as a distraction for him, opting to keeping your distance as far away as possible so it allowed megumi to get his head focused again and ensure a promised route to the world series— something you had hoped to be there to witness, but deeming his success way more important than your needs at this point in time.
so you stopped going to all of his practices following that day, the fact tormenting megumi as you always went to each and every single one and was there for him without fault— rain or shine, always waiting for him in the locker rooms when he was finished.
but you weren’t there anymore. and each day you weren’t was another day megumi would spend angry and frustrated with himself that he did what he did. he knew your defense mechanism was pushing people away, and your current behavior gave him flashbacks to the time last year when he was falling for you and you kept running away from him, scared— those actions a carbon copy of what’s happening now, except far worse.
and he did that to you. he yelled at you and snapped at you, told you to stop talking for some fucking reason that he still couldn’t find the proper explanation for… and he made you cry. so much. your usual sweet honeyed voice you spoke to him with long gone since that day.
and he missed you. more than anything.
“you stupid—” throw “self absorbed—” throw “asshole—” throw “narcissistic—” throw—
“okay that’s enough that’s enough!”
yuji pulled your best friend back as she chucked towel after towel at megumi following one of their practices, her absolutely fuming.
he took every hit, not bothering to dodge. he deserved it.
“she told me what you did—” she shook herself away from yuji’s grip. “what the hell is the matter with you? how could you yell at her like that on the field? when all she’s ever done is love you—”
“i know.” megumi mumbled, rubbing his eyes. “i know i’m really sorry. i regret it.”
“fuck yeah you should,” she scoffed. “that woman’s been cooped up every day in her room bawling her eyes out over you!”
yuji nodded sadly, and megumi let out a pained breath as he closed his eyes and covered his face with his hands, propping his elbows on his knees, leaning forward.
“fuck me…”
“yeah fuck you—”
“okay! okay. he’s already down let him bleed out.” yuji muttered to her as he rubbed his hands over her arms soothingly, an attempt at calming her down.
he looked at him. “megumi, you and i both know that she understands you were frustrated that day. the both of you. if you just talk to her—”
“you think i haven’t tried?” megumi picked his head up, and the both of them froze at the way his eyes glossed over.
“i’ve— i’ve called her, i’ve texted her, i drove by her house but she’s never there, fuck i even went to her campus at seven in the morning but couldn’t find her.”
he took his cap off and roughly rubbed over his eyes again.
your best friend sighed then after a moment, slowly stepping forward and sitting down next to him on the bench.
“she’ll come around megumi.” she mumbled. “just give her some time. i know it’s hard, but she really really loves you.” she sighed deeply. “she’ll come around.”
megumi nodded solemnly, and yuji stepped forward, patting his shoulder.
“you okay man?”
he nodded again.
missed phone calls, lagging dry texts, and last minute cancellations from you all happened for a week straight.
and when the time finally came for the league championships, megumi wanted nothing more than for you to be there as he stared at his messy fucking locker when prepping for the game— another reminder that you hadn’t been around, and another reminder that you wouldn’t be here tonight to see him, something he completely did not blame you for.
luckily, the league championship game was at their home base once more, and as the crowd got settled to watch, energies heightened as the players all got settled over the field to play ball— megumi shook the nerves from his body as he focused with the game, and you, on his mind like a religion.
and as the game ran on with the team scoring run after run, another win was blatantly obvious for them— megumi entirely unaware of your presence that was watching him the entire time in the stands.
you couldn’t help yourself. you needed to be there to watch him, needed to see him take home another achievement like that, regardless of where you both stood as you watched from just above the v.i.p section, shivering like an idiot because you forgot to bring a jacket after deciding to wear a flowy tube top for the day, but excited for him nonetheless.
you didn’t tell a single soul you were coming, not even your best friend as you just wanted to see megumi again before running off into the shadows of your embarrassing despair, missing him like fucking crazy and nearly sobbing when you saw him walk out on the field at the start, but even more emotional to the fact that they were actually going to move on to the world series by the looks of it.
and the crowd hollered eventually as the speakers blasted megumi’s teams signature song—
finalizing their spot in the world series.
your eyes glowed as you watched his team run up on the field and tackle each other down, literally rolling in the dirt as you giggled to yourself— sighing contently and about to turn and walk out of the stadium to go home when a strong rough hand wrapped around your bare upper arm.
“you’re fushiguro’s girl! aren’t you?”
you snapped your head up and saw someone you recognized as one of megumi’s crew members for the team, and you relaxed, trusting him.
“oh! yeah i am!”
“sweet! i just got hired to be on the crew a couple of weeks ago.”
“that’s great!” you answered politely, smiling. “how is—”
“listen i was wondering if i could get any tickets to the world series from you?”
what.
“um—” your eyes darted around awkwardly. “for— for the world series?—”
“yeah! i took this job so i could get some but apparently i need to be working longer than three weeks. dumb.”
you gnawed at the inside of your cheek as your eyes drifted downward to your arm.
he still hadn’t let go.
“oh i’m sorry.” you mumbled. “i could— i could maybe get you one? one for sure!”
he shook his head. “shit sorry, i need like five.”
“five?!” you gawked. “i can’t get you five i’m really sorry… i can only maybe get you one.”
his eyes narrowed. “why not? you’re fushiguro’s girl are you not?”
“yes but what does that have to do with me getting you tickets to the world series?” you spoke nervously, trying to put on a brave front as his height literally towered over you.
“why don’t you ask him for tickets? he’s literally megumi fushiguro i’m sure he can cough up some—”
you scoffed.
“i’m not gonna ask him anything for you just because you want to use me to get tick—”
“so then what the fuck are you with him for?” his grip tightened around your arm as he pulled you a little, and you winced.
“let go of me!—”
megumi considered himself a relatively calm person throughout his life.
he knew he had his explosive rude moments here and there, him also accidentally offending people unknowingly with his words, but that behavior only stayed on the field as it pertained to the game at hand or with baseball itself, his life outside of that a treasured tranquil one as he spent his days with you and only you, something he looked forward to every waking moment since the day he met you.
but as he heard your little voice through the yelling of the crowd, instantly recognizing it and picking up on its distressed demeanor— his body did a full one-eighty as his eyes frantically searched for you through the mass of people.
and once he did spot you? your breathtaking little self being manhandled by some fucking moron who had his hand around your upper arm?
he didn’t consider himself a relatively calm person anymore.
megumi quickly snatched his cap off and passed it to a confused yuji and your best friend, sprinting at the speed of light across the field and to the fence of the v.i.p. section before hoisting himself up and climbing, jumping over once he reached the top and landing on the stands— him running up a few steps before finally reaching you and tearing the guy off.
“get the fuck off.”
he gently pushed you behind him, his chest heaving.
“the shit are you doing hurting her arm like that for huh?!” megumi stepped forward.
“hey! hey i’m sorry man i— i didn’t know i was hurting her—”
“sure you fucking did she was literally telling you to let go and you were throwing her around like—”
“megumi please—”
“are you part of the crew?”
“y—yeah?”
“you’re gone. you’re fired you’re—”
“wait i’m sorry! i was just trying to get tickets to the world series—”
megumi’s eyes blew open, wild and infuriated.
“that’s why you were grabbing her like that? you were harrassing her for some fucking ticke— you know what—”
megumi stepped forward before you could stop him as he reeled his fist back and knocked him straight in the jaw, the guy stumbling back a bit and the crowd gasping before megumi spun around and grabbed your legs, throwing you over his shoulder.
“get the fuck out of my way.”
the small crowd that stuck around for the altercation parted with no questions asked, his long legs striding over across the exit and to the teams now vacant locker room— kicking the door open before gently setting you down on your feet.
he ran his hands over your soft hair frantically as he grabbed your cheeks and checked you over, your teary doe eyes breaking him apart.
“hey are you okay? are you fine?”
megumi let go of your face and gently lifted your upper arm, his eyes hardening at the purple forming bruise from that dickwads hand.
“he’s gone he’s gone—”
you lunged and wrapped your arms around his waist tightly as he started to charge back out, pulling him back.
“no! stop it’s okay you already hit him i think he got the message.” you mumbled, letting him go.
megumi turned to you then, his eyes softening over your timid sad frame as you played with your fingers, gaze down.
“y/n.”
“hm?”
he frowned.
“can you please look at me.”
you listened reluctantly and peered up at him.
he exhaled. “baby i— i’m sorry. i’m so fucking sorry for everything that i said to you that night. i meant none of it. nothing. i was just angry at myself and stressed and stupid and i hate that i talked to you like that and took it out on you. you didn’t deserve that at all.”
you hurriedly wiped your silent tears— nodding, but saying nothing.
he leaned down to look at you at eye level.
“are you okay?”
you nodded again and sniffled.
“talk baby.” he pleaded with you gently, eyes sad. “tell me, please.”
you cowered a little as you finally broke into tiny sobs, your hands hovering over your face to hide your tears as he placed his big hands on your upper arms, megumi feeling like he just got run over by an entire military tank at the sight of you crying because of him.
“i—i’m sorry i yelled at you—” you hiccuped. “i was so mean and i f—feel really bad—”
“baby why are you apologizing?” he shook his head. “it’s me it’s all me i’m the one who was mean to you—”
“no but—” you sniffled. “you were just stressed from the game like you said and that’s fine i should’ve been more aware. i didn’t mean to upset you with me talking—”
“oh pretty baby..” he breathed out, agonizingly, megumi literally beating himself up. “remember when i said one time you were too nice for your own good?”
you nodded.
“this is one of those moments. you should be yelling at me and throwing things at me like your best friend did.”
your eyebrows furrowed as you sniffled. “she— she did?”
“she did.” he nodded. “rightfully so.”
you giggled a little, and he smiled softly.
“i’m sorry i distanced myself the way i did…” you mumbled, a waterfall of tears coming down again. “i just thought that i was a distraction and— and i wanted you to focus.”
“a distraction?” he murmured. “y/n you are never a distraction.”
“no but at the end of the day i was…” you sobbed. “you need to be there for your team you have—“ hic! “you have responsibilities and i don’t want you to put me above that and— and keep hanging out with me when you have so much to do—”
“something you need to understand is that i’m replaceable.” he cut you off, tone firm. “the minute they find some other dude that’s way better than me and quicker than me and they draft his ass over to the team? they are going to replace me faster than you will ever think. that’s just the way jobs are. i’m replaceable no matter how much you wanna think it’s not true.”
he shook his head, his face pained. “but you are not. you’re not fucking replaceable there is no other you. you are my life now baby. yes my career is a priority, but so are you, and i would rather them replace me than lose you entirely.”
he wiped the tears from your cheeks, your doe eyes wide.
“i appreciate that you care so much and you support me and that you want me to devote all of my time to only this— you’re an angel on earth for all of that… but as your man i’m telling you that all of my time is devoted to you now, not just baseball.”
you wrapped your arms around his neck and tugged him closer to you, tight, him immediately reciprocating and snaking his arms around your waist.
he could finally breathe.
“do you understand?” he murmured softly, rubbing his hands over your back soothingly.
you nodded.
“but you can’t— wear yourself out like you did okay?” you sniffled. “you can’t let them push you and tire you out… and please listen when we say for you to rest…”
“i know i’m sorry. i’ll listen next time baby i promise.”
“i get you trying to improve for yourself and push your limits… but— but there’s a difference between wanting to better your play and straight up wearing yourself down.”
you pulled back a little to look at him, wiping your tears and hiccuping. “and i worry man… i worry so much because i—“ hic! “i love you and i always think about if you’re eating right or— or getting enough sleep—”
his heart literally melted as he felt the remains of it ooze and spread all over his body and insides, your pure sweet concerns tugging at him and turning him into absolute putty before you.
he tightened his grip around your waist and lifted you, gently rocking your bodies as you sniffled and cried, his eyes screwed shut and feeling every possible emotion a human being could ever feel… but feeling love most of all.
love for you. love for who you are.
megumi kissed your wet cheek delicately and let his lips linger there as he spoke.
“i’m in love with you…” he murmured. “i hope you know that.”
your heart fluttered and you nodded, a little smile playing at your face.
“i’m in love with you too gumi.” you hummed, pressing a sweet kiss of your own to his cheek.
he set you back down and cupped your cheeks, slowly leaning in and pressing light tender kisses to your lips, his mouth completely savoring over the taste of yours as he had been deprived of them for a freaking week— feeling like his dried up soul had been rejuvenated and made anew.
and you felt the same way… because you deepened the kiss, picked up the pace, pulled him closer until his chest was flush against yours and your hot breaths were mixed together in a misty cloud, megumi breathing heavily through his nose as he ran his needy desperate hands over your delicious body.
he trailed wet open mouthed kisses on your cheek, jaw, and all the way down to the side of your exposed neck, his hand supporting the other side as he feverishly licked a slow long stripe of spit up your neck with his rough tongue, your fists gripping the sides of his jersey as he nibbled and bit, his lips finally coming to enclose and suck around a certain spot as your breath hitched at how frenzied and sloppy he was being, drool practically running down your neck as he ravished, bit, and sucked over multiple areas.
you shoved your hands down his pants suddenly, and he choked in surprise as his hips thrusted forward, your fingers pumping and palming his hardened cock slowly as his breath shuddered against your neck.
“baby...” he murmured.
“hm?”
“how would you feel if i turned on the shower and fucked my cock in your pretty little cunt for a bit in there huh?…”
a needy whimper slipped past your lips against his ear, and he grew weak.
“is that okay—”
“more than okay—”
you squealed as he wasted no time in picking you up again and walking over to the showers, the both of you clumsily tearing off your clothes as megumi fumbled with the shower switch until luke warm water spritzed from above— entrapping the both of you in a humid trance as megumi squeezed your bare thighs and ushered you to jump, you doing so immediately and wrapping your legs around his waist.
he stepped in and literally slammed the shower door shut, the two of you giggling a little as the soothing water washed over your panting bodies, the sight of his handsome bright face making your cheeks flush and bury your face in his neck in response.
he chuckled softly, gently setting your back against the wet tile wall before kissing you again and again, his mouth messy against your puffy lips as he tried to drink up all that you gave him, the tip of his cock slipping past your folds and brushing against your swollen clit— each time making you squeak and jump.
you didn’t care about anything, your mind reeling and just wanting megumi’s dick inside of you as soon as possible, knowing that you’d never really had sex before and literally not giving a single shit because it was him— someone you trusted the most out of anyone in your life, and someone you wanted to give your all to no matter the circumstance.
he lined his fat tip then against your drooling hole.
“wait! wait the door—“ you gripped his shoulders for support. “the door did you lock it?”
“nope.”
megumi pushed his cock in slowly and gently, your choked gasps and moans echoing inside the shower as his head fell to rest in the crook of your hickey covered neck, him groaning in ecstasy as your gummy warm pussy strangled his dick to the tightest degree, already previously so wet and gushy that it thankfully barely hurt you at all as he bottomed out.
“fuuuckk— you’re warm.” he murmured, gripping your hips like a vice and softly caressing his thumb against your slippery skin to soothe you— hoping (but not really), you’d maybe release the clutch your pussy had on his dick to stop him from already shooting his cum all over your insides like a loser.
he slowly drew his hips back and fucked into you again, you jolting at the force as you fumbled to keep your grip steady on his shoulders, his cock fucking thick and massive as his little curve poked deliciously at your cervix, him gradually increasing his pace as you shuddered over the quick pat pat pat’s echoing through the walls.
“g—gumiii..” you whined.
“what baby?” he mumbled breathlessly, his eyes glued to where his dick connected with your hole as it slipped in and out lewdly, your pussy literally squelching and screaming for him with your bouncing tits in his face that made him clench his jaw in self restraint— trying his hardest not to fucking ram into you like nothing and take you.
“y—you’re biigg!” you hiccuped, your little gasps of breath enticing droplets of cum to leak out of his tip and ooze out of your little wet folds, megumi moaning at your words.
“yeah?” pat pat pat— “s’too much for you baby?”
he picked up the pace, on purpose as he meanly bounced you on his cock and shot his hips up against your pussy, his big heavy balls slapping against your ass and making your eyes fucking cross at the feeling.
“tell me you love me.” he panted. “now.”
“i—“ hic! “i love you—”
megumi grabbed your cheeks with his fingers and mushed them together, grinning deviously at the way your pouty lips pushed out cutely.
“how much.”
“s—so- ah!— so much gumi—”
“more— shit!” he choked, a particular squeeze from your abused cunt almost making him finish. “m— more than anything?”
slap slap slap—
“y—yes!—” you could barely even speak due to the erotic hold he had on your face. “i love you i love you i love—”
you squealed as he let go of your face, gave into his desires and rammed into you, both hands on your bruised hips as he gave your pussy no room to breathe with how fast he was shoving his fat cock inside of you, pounding and pummeling into your guts as your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt your release build up in your tummy.
“why were you asking me about the door earlier huh?” he panted. “you don’t want anyone to see how much of a” thrust! “slut you are? your legs spread for me like this and your pretty pussy creaming on my dick?”
you whined and moaned so fucking loudly, it ringing through megumi’s ears like a wicked symphony.
he pinched your nipple when you didn’t respond.
“answer me.”
thrust thrust thrust—
“n—no i didn’t!”
“no?”
he gripped your neck and sloppily ran his mouth over yours, feeling his cum on the brink of shooting out.
“m’gonna cum inside.”
“in— mmphf!— inside?”
“you don’t want it?” he let go of your neck. “cause i won’t give it to you if you don’t want it—”
“i do i do!” you scrambled and cupped his cheeks, bringing his lips back in and kissing him messily.
“give it to me gumi please!—“ hic! “eeekkk!”
hot sticky cum pumped out of his tip and into your gushy walls, your high making your toes curl as you creamed around his heavy cock feverishly, megumi’s entire body fucking shivering at the way your pussy felt like it was entirely made and molded for him.
he softly pumped himself inside and out of you, his mouth hung open in a daze as he watched his white cum slide out of your pretty hole and over his still connected dick, gently easing out after a minute and carefully setting you back down— not completely though, as he knew you’d be sore as he leaned most if not all of your body weight against him.
you held each other in a tight embrace then, your heavy breaths trying to find its normal rhythm as the warm water continued to cascade down your bodies, comfortingly.
“why don’t we have sex more often...” you mumbled.
he laughed softly, pecking the side of your head. “i was waiting for you to tell me baby. i didn’t want to pressure you.”
“i was waiting for you to tell me.” you emphasized. “i didn’t want to jump on you and just violate you—”
megumi’s chest vibrated as he laughed again, a cute boyish one that made you bite your lip.
“violate me?” he murmured, an amused smile on his face. “i’d want you to.”
“yeah?” you tilted your head, and his cheeks grew hot.
“yeah.”
finally you and megumi were in sync again, going back into each other’s routines as if the week long hiccup never happened, the both of you officially unraveling the aching knots in your chests that you hauled for seven tormenting days straight— together and attached to the hip once again as he started picking you up for your seven am classes every morning like before, you going to his practices straight after, and spending your hours sleeping in his dark cozy room this time around, snoring your little life away so megumi could recover.
and eventually, the world series arrived.
“my camera! my camera! my digital one did i bring it?!”
you flipped your purse upside down and dumped all of your things on the floor— your lip combo, compact mirror, snacks, random receipts, and small perfume bottle rolling around on the ground until your digital camera was finally in view.
your best friend cackled as she crouched down and helped you pick up your things. “you were taking pictures up megumi’s nose on the two hour drive over here yes you brought it—”
“i know i forgot i’m so nervous what if they lose what if someone fumbles what if—”
you both stood as you rambled on and she placed both of her hands on your shoulders, shaking you. “calm down! they’ll be fine! win or lose they still made it to the world series!”
the crowd roared much like the past two games, except much heavier, louder, more drilling as the music drummed through your body, the air windy but refreshing, and high pitched whistles echoing from around the stadium as everyone anticipated for the biggest game of the season.
you had lost count how many different news stations were here broadcasting the game, how many reporters you saw scrambling across the field trying to interview certain players— you too busy taking pictures of every single little thing and the both of you reapplying your lip liners over a million fucking times— even flagging down a crew member so you could take a picture with just your best friend, your backs to the camera showcasing the last names of your boyfriend’s on your jersey’s.
and when the game officially commenced and the players all went out on the field— megumi and his team did what they always do best, taking control of the scoreboard and earning runs like chump change as they worked professionally to take the trophy home, you constantly snapping pictures of megumi that your digital camera ran out of fucking storage before you even got the shot that you wanted.
eventually after a while of playing, it was megumi’s turn to hit.
“fuck! record for me please record! my camera ran out of storage oh my god use my phone please i love you—”
your best friend laughed as she took your phone from you and did what you asked, your hands on the railing and leaning over it as you anxiously watched him walk up to home plate and take position.
but instead of doing his usual faux swings and repositioned footing, megumi stepped to the side and turned his bat downward, you unable to tell what he was doing as his frame was blocking, his arm moving in various directions before he stepped back again on the home plate and repositioned himself.
your eyes trailed to the ground.
megumi had carved your initials in the dirt.
your girl friend gasped and cooed. “y/nnn!”
as megumi now did his faux swings, your bottom lip only wobbled as your eyes stayed trained to the carvings in the dirt, your heart skipping a thousand beats per minute as the thought of megumi thinking about you out there during one of the most important nights of his life, made you question repeatedly how you ever landed a man like him when all you do is talk and cry.
hit!
your eyes snapped up and you quickly wiped the corners of your eyes, megumi already running across the first two bases as the crowd roared.
“bring it home fushiguro!”
several of his teammates were cheering him on from the dugout, megumi running four runs with just one fucking hit?—
a grand slam.
and suddenly you were taken back to the day you noticed megumi for the first time, just like now with your doe eyes wide and cheeks pink, recognizing the only piece of baseball terminology you knew besides a home run.
except then he was just a stranger you were hopelessly in love with that knew how to play ball like no other.
now though, he’s a man you couldn’t ever imagine your life without. and you didn’t want to.
so as the game reached nine innings, megumi’s team running on the field in a bundle of absolute tears and yells and hollers that they won the world fucking series, all clustering together as they hoisted several players up on their shoulders, including megumi—
you and your best friend instantly booked it down there in a fit of tears.
you had no time to get your personal belongings together as you sprinted across the field like your life fucking depended on it towards megumi— him being put down by his teammates and him frantically looking around after until he spotted you, the brightest smile spreading across his face as he chucked his cap to the side and opened his arms out wide for you.
you jumped in and he spun you around, holding you tight as the screaming crowd surrounding you drowned itself out as you cried into megumi’s neck.
he pulled back, panting.
“did you see how i did a grand slam?”
you nodded rapidly.
“i did it because i knew its the only thing you would recognize!” he yelled over the noise. “so you would feel included when we won!”
oh my god.
he still remembered when you told him that?
“guummiii! how did you even calculate that?!” you cried harder, and he laughed as he spread tiny kisses all over your teary face, his eyes glimmering with absolute unadulterated happiness and bliss, the reality of having the two things he wanted most in life settling into his mind.
megumi didn’t really have a stance on religion— whether the factor is real or not something he didn’t really care about nor mind as he simply just chose to live.
but as he held you on the field, you crying for him and embracing him the way that you were, kissing him the way that you were, megumi only wanted to be covered in your favor. megumi only wanted to devote his entire life to you.
megumi only wanted to believe in you.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
want more? you can find my mlb!megumi fushiguro masterlist here!
taglist!! <33 (THANK YOU THANK YOU!):
@cupcaketeddybehr @soobiary @roachfun @waterfal-ling @saebaey @hiraethwa @luvvmae @cake-with-the-cream @pixie-dix @vividl3ss
15K notes · View notes
joelsgoldrush · 5 months ago
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“guilty pleasure” | 8.6k
worst!logan howlett x f!reader
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SUMMARY: After saving Earth-10005 from impending disaster, Wade convinces Logan, the alcoholic and easily irritated mutant, to stick around for a while. He’s convinced that nothing good can come out of this experience, until he meets you: the charming bartender with a soft spot for swearing that matches his own. Suddenly, sticking around doesn’t seem so bad after all.
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni - smut 18+ fluff. drinking. dirty talk. slow-burnish. grumpy!logan x sunshine!reader. reader is really kind but cracks a lot of jokes. age gap (25 vs 200 - they’re basically the same age). oral sex (f receiving). fingering. finger sucking. soft dom!logan. wade being the funniest asshole. logan calls reader "kiddo/kid”.
A/N: HI! first of all, i'd like to thank you for all the support you showed me on my recent post. let me just tell you that i’m LOVING writing for logan. but none of this would be possible without YOU, so yeah, i fucking love y’all.
** regarding this story, i was planning on making it even longer, but writing these two has been so much fun, and i didn’t want it to end just like that (i have attachment issues as you may infer from this note). therefore, i’ve made the decision to write a second part to this fic, which will contain fluff and other stuff (you already know the drill). i don’t know when i’ll be posting it, but i’m sure it won’t take me that long.
*** i’m also working on other one shots (purely fluff/domesticity because i want this man to cradle me in his arms). anyway, i don’t know if anyone’s going to read this, but still, all I have to say is THANK YOU FOR READING MY WORKS! i hope you really like this silly story i made up :)
**** english is not my first language so if you come across any mistakes don’t hesitate to tell me :)
special recognition to @zloshy who allowed me to rant about my own fic 😭 the sweetest human ever
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The bar is far from packed, but then again, it never truly is.
Studying your regulars has become your favorite hobby. Soon you end up knowing their names, the drinks they like, and what time they come through the door. It’s what happens when standing on your own two feet and refilling glasses lose all their charm. A part of you thinks you also do it to make them feel safe. No matter how much you try to deny it, you truly care about their well-being.
Is this your dream job? Nope. Definitely not. You’re pretty sure that holding some stranger’s hair while they empty their insides wasn’t on your bingo card for this year. But sadly money doesn’t grow on trees, and university isn’t going to pay itself. Plus, this was the only job in which your resume was not immediately rejected. It should also be stressed that the drunks happen to love you. 
Perhaps this isn’t the life you had always imagined for yourself, but you were getting closer to it. You’d often talk to Adam, a retired psychologist in his seventies. He was without a doubt one of the most loyal clients you’d ever encountered. In the past, he’d even given you free advice on some of your failed hookups. You once told him that in less than two years, you’d be just like him when you got your degree in Psychology. To your surprise, he replied: “You’ll be much better than me, doll. I’m a mess, can’t you see it? You don’t wanna be like me,” his voice was hardly above a whisper as he continued. “I should be at my daughter’s birthday right now, but I didn’t get an invitation this year. Believe me, you don’t want to end up like this old man.” 
Like Adam, most of the men who frequented the bar day-to-day saw it as an opportunity to hide within the shadows. In comparison to the other pubs in the area, the one you work at doesn’t receive that much attention from the general public. A dimly lit place where only music from the 80s is allowed. You’re certain that if a health inspector ever came down here, you’d be in serious problems. But hey, you know what they say: do not worry about tomorrow; instead, live in the now.
The atmosphere of the bar shifts dramatically as the main door slams shut with a resounding thud, pulling you abruptly out of your daydreaming. You turn to see who’s arrived, but as soon as your eyes meet his, you’re compelled to look away. Nevertheless, the brief glance you catch of the stranger’s features is enough for you to unlock your phone and send a quick text to your best friend. 
You:
cutie patootie alert
there’s this really handsome guy at the bar
i don’t think i’ve ever seen him before
i think i’m in love with him
my night just got a 100% better
Allison:
age
what does he look like
is he bald?
You:
he looks like he could be in his early fifties??? it’s hard to tell UGH i wish you were here
brown hair, beard, 6’2 if i’m not wrong 
i didn’t stare at him for too long
otherwise that would’ve been very weird
and no he’s not fucking bald
that happened only once and i was not aware of that gentleman’s lack of hair 
Allison:
so you’re dating retired now
get it grandma!
You:
oh fuck you allison 
Allison: 
it’s okay girl we all have our flaws
just make sure it’s nobody’s father
wait it’s not mine right?
You:
nah your dad’s way hotter don’t you worry about it
Allison:
bitch 
Even with the music blasting through the speakers that are attached to the ceiling, you can still hear the low murmur and the whispers. The mysterious stranger seems to have attracted the attention of the other patrons, some of whom have even raised their phones to take photos. Your eyebrows draw together. Why would they do something like this, approaching the man as if he were a celebrity? Since curiosity never fails to kill the cat, you decide to get involved.
“Do I have somethin’ on my face?” you hear him ask the crowd, his raspy voice making your knees wobbly. He sounds enraged. You step on your tiptoes, trying to see what all the fuss is about, albeit it’s pretty hard considering how these men are caging him with their bodies.
The glow of a phone’s flashlight catches your attention, and suddenly, a chair is dragged without much elegance. “Enough of that, y’hear me?”
Enter you now. “Okay, gentlemen, I’m sorry. I’m gonna need you to make some space for me, alright?” you mumble as you gently push them aside. “Thank you, thank you. Y’all can be real sweethearts when you put your minds to it.”
Then you spot him, and it becomes clear why everyone is making such a fuss. 
Gary, your worst client ever, steps forward. His nasty breath clouds your senses as he rests one of his sweaty hands on your shoulder. “Doll, it’s the fucking Wolverine. Don’t ask him for a picture, though. He doesn’t seem to be in the mood for that.”
The last thing you needed to see today was a fight (despite your knowledge of who would be the winner). You locate yourself amidst them, shaking your head like a disappointed mother, so as to add a tiny bit of drama to the situation.
“Guys, what you’re doing here is completely inappropriate. I thought I’d taught you better. Imagine if I were to pull this crap on you. You wouldn’t have it.”
Adam presses his lips together, flushing a bit. “She does have a point.” 
“Thank you, peanut. You’re still my favorite,” you flash him an honest smile. Scrutinizing the rest of the men, you continue with your speech. “You can still make up for it and fill my tip jar all the way to the top. Deal?” they all scoff, barking their disagreement. “Oh, you don’t like the sound of that? Then leave him alone, okay? Class dismissed! Back to your places,” you clap your hands repeatedly, signaling them to go away. “Chop chop. All this alcohol won’t be drinking itself.”
Just like that, everything goes back to normal in the blink of an eye. Wolverine sits back down in his chair, leaning closer to the table and resting both elbows on it. He examines you, lifting his chin while his brown eyes take in every inch of you.
“Thank you,” he utters, his eyes still trained on your features. 
“No need to. It’s what I’m here for,” you point to your work clothes, which consist of an antiqued apron and a silly sticker that has your name written on it. “Can I get you anything to drink? It’s also Burger Night. You can get one for half the usual price.”
(No. It’s not fucking Burger Night. You just happen to find yourself deeply attracted to him.)
He doesn’t seem too eager to hear you talk. “Not hungry at the moment. But I could use some whiskey.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah, kid. Very sure.” Well, now he does look annoyed.
“Great. I’ll be back in a minute,” you move as if you were in a race, returning to him after a hot minute. Setting his glass down on the table, you fill it with some old whiskey you don’t even know the name of. Still, he omits that detail, gulping down two-fingers of whiskey as if it were water. “I see you’re thirsty.”
“Could you leave the bottle here?” those brown puppy eyes are begging you to do as he says, and although you’d be happy to oblige, rules are rules. 
“Actually, I can’t. The bottle stays on the counter. But you can always join me at the front,” your proposal doesn’t appear to have the desired effect on him. “I won’t talk to you if that’s what you want.”
“I’ll take your word for it,” he rubs his neck, drawing a long breath as he stands up. 
You can feel many pairs of eyes searing into your soul. The others ask you for more drinks and you pour them, pricking up your ears when you hear them talking about him.
“What a weirdo. Didn’t you see it on TV? He’s not even from this universe,” Gary explains, looking for accomplices to hate on Wolverine. “Let me tell y’all something: he shouldn’t even be here. He’s fucking dead on this earth.”
Yeah… that you knew.
It had been all over the news for weeks. Some would even swear that he was back from the dead, but that was until the representatives from the TVA spoke their truth. If someone would’ve told you a month ago that multiple universes were a thing, you would’ve laughed in their face.
As if that weren’t already difficult to process, your mind does the job of reminding you that there’s a man with metal claws sitting a few meters away from you. Despite that, you can’t seem to be scared of him. There’s something magnetic about his personality and that don’t-come-near-me-or-there-will-be-consequences expression that he has. Why had you promised not to speak to him? Dammit.
“I can hear your thoughts,” a muscle in his jaw twitches after knocking back another glass of whiskey. He squeezes his eyes shut before tapping the table with two fingers, silently asking for a refill.
“I thought you didn’t want me to talk,” you raise one of your eyebrows, and you behold how the corners of his mouth turn up for an instant. “I can assure you your liver hates you.”
“Alcohol won’t kill me, so don’t be afraid. Keep ‘em coming.”
For nearly twenty minutes, he does nothing but drink. He attempts to light a cigar at some point, and you stop him. “You can’t smoke in here.”
“No special treatment?” he inquires, placing the cigar between his parted lips and tilting his head back. He’s so… dreamy. He has to know it.
“I saved your ass today. The least you can do is not cause me any trouble.”
His eyes widen at your words, blinking owlishly. “You saved my what?”
“Your goddamn ass. You were about to start a fight.”
“Blame the idiots you have for clients,” he says, jerking his thumb toward your direction. “I was just mindin’ my own business. They came for me, not the other way around.”
“Look, Wolvie. I–”
“Wolvie?” giving a bitter laugh, he rams a hand through his hair. “That’s the worst nickname I’ve heard in a long time,” he looks at you through his lashes, getting rid of his leather jacket. “It’s Logan.”
“Wow. Your name is very boybandish.”
You succeed in making him laugh once again. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to observe his face without feeling like you were just about to get caught. He has deep creases and worry lines etched between his eyebrows, a brown beard that perfectly frames his jaw, and a few white hairs scattered in his sideburns. Pearly teeth that go hand in hand with one of the most impeccable smiles you’ve ever seen, and a pair of brown eyes that make you feel weak in the knees. You know for a fact that he’s a lot older than you; his exact age remains a mystery, but his appearance is enough for you to start fantasizing.
Shit, you want him. You should feel sickened by the mere thought of being with him. He was born God knows when, has lived hundreds of years. Still, the idea of tracing his cheekbones with your fingers while lying on his chest doesn’t leave you. This is fucked up. You are fucked up. A fucked up Psychology student. The joke is pretty much self-explanatory.
“So this is where you’ve been hiding, you preening slut. Can’t even bother to answer my calls now?”
The tension between you shatters like a glass dropped onto the floor. He doesn’t dare to look in the direction of the owner of that voice, not even as the seat next to him gets taken. He pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Wade, what the hell are you doin’ here?”
“It hasn’t been exactly easy, raising our kid on my own. I don’t even have money to hire a babysitter, Lo. I spent nine months carrying your child, and for what? You end up going after a bartender,” the masked man turns to you, giving a sly wink. “No offense, baby. You must be a real sweetheart. In fact, do you want my number? The name’s Wade, but you can call me whatever you like.”
“You dumb fuck. Are you flirtin’ with her?”
“No shit, smartass. You’re the future of this country.”
A soft giggle escapes you despite your attempt to hold it back. You take a step back, admiring the two men. “Well, aren’t you two a beautiful couple?”
“You should see our little munchkin. He’s got my eyes and Logan’s hair. His first word was gubernatorial.”
“Would you like to have a drink while you’re here?”
“A beer would be great. Thank you, sugarbear. You’re the cutest,” Wade sinks back into his chair, resting his chin on his palm. He jerks his head in Logan’s direction, bumping his shoulder. “She’s the cutest. Are you two together?”
Logan rubs his forehead, speaking through gritted teeth. “How did you find me?”
“It's the power of love, baby. I had It’s All Coming Back To Me Now on repeat for hours. Couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
Handing Wade a cold beer, your eyes scan Logan’s face. “I didn’t know patience was your strongest suit.”
“Me neither.”
“Enough of that! I can’t stand not being included in a conversation,” Wade throws his hands in the air, and you look at him. “There you are. So, what about you? Are you even allowed to be here? Did bars change their policies?”
You can’t help but snort. “I’m 25.”
Wade looms closer, lowering his voice. “Now that I think about it, you could totally be Logan’s caretaker. He’s been having some issues recently, given his age. Do you… know anything about adult diapers?”
But then Logan’s face contorts, turning crimson. He rises from his seat, grabbing Wade’s arm. “That’s it. We’re leavin’,” his eyes lock on you for a moment. “How much do I owe you?”
“Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house.”
The things you’re willing to do for a man, right? You should be ashamed of yourself.
(But you aren’t.)
His mouth hangs open in disbelief. “Kiddo, are you–”
“Completely sure,” you finish his sentence for him, bowing your head and clasping your arms behind your body. A tight-lipped smile takes over you. “Just don’t tell my boss.”
Wade shifts his gaze back and forth between Logan and you. “I usually don’t mind third-wheeling, but I sort of feel left out.”
“I’m gonna sew your mouth shut, Wade.”
“Oh, come on! I was just making small talk,” the masked man tries to excuse himself while Logan pushes him towards the door. “It was a pleasure meeting you, sunshine. I’m free on Thursdays. Hit me up if his whiskey dick fails to impress you! Mine’s way more agile and young!”
As you watch them leave the bar, you remain frozen in your place amidst the clamor of ongoing chatter and clinking glasses.
What the fuck had just happened?
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“Patrick’s normally the first one to get wasted during weekends,” you explain to the blonde woman sitting in front of you, and she writes that information down in her notebook. “He can usually handle himself, but at some point, he’ll try to call his ex-wife, and that’s when you know you need to stop serving him.”
She clicks her tongue, the color draining out of her face. “This is… definitely a lot to remember. I think I already forgot half of what you said.”
You shake your head, shoving your hands in your pockets. “You’ll get used to it, believe me. I’ll be with you at all times, so if you have any doubts, just ask me.”
After a whole year of working solo at the bar, you finally get to have a coworker: Gwen, a mother of two teenagers in her forties. You had met her at the grocery store, and in the process of helping her find a specific brand of cookies, you found out that she had recently lost her job. One thing led to another, and now she’s your trainee.
Your savior complex strikes again!
It has been four days since your first encounter with Logan. The thought that he could show up at any moment makes your heart race and your hands sweat. Allison had received countless voice messages where you narrated the entire experience in full detail. 
Touching your arm softly, Gwen’s face lights up. “Another man came in. Is he a regular? I don’t think you told me about him.”
Fuck, it’s him. Manifesting does work wonders. He locks eyes with you and raises a hand in greeting.
“Leave this one to me,” you tell her as your feet take you to where Logan’s sitting, contemplating the way in which his leather jacket hugs his wide frame. “Long time no see.”
“Hey, kid,” he grins. “What’s up?”
“Nothing much. Nobody has puked yet, so that’s a good thing,” you crinkle your nose, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. “Whiskey?”
“You know me so well,” a smirk takes place in his lips, and he smiles cockily. “Though this time, I won’t be leavin’ without payin’.”
“We’ll see about that,” you go back to your usual spot behind the counter, looking for a glass. Your cheeks kind of hurt from smiling so hard. Next to you, Gwen studies your reaction to seeing Logan. “Is that your boyfriend?”
You almost drop the whiskey bottle. “God, no. He’s not my boyfriend. Barely know the guy.”
“It’s funny,” she says, raising her eyebrows with a knowing look, as if she knows something you don’t. “He hasn’t stopped looking at you since he arrived.”
“It’s probably because of this,” you reply, lifting the bottle in her direction before pouring a small amount into a glass. Just as you’re about to walk over to him, a girl slides into the sit beside him, her long blonde hair swept up in a ponytail. She’s wearing a stunning red dress and black heels. You wonder if she’s a model, because she certainly looks like one.
Her hand creeps up his arm, fingernails scraping against the worn leather. Although Logan’s expression is hard to read, he doesn’t even flinch.
“You know what? Here’s his drink– You take care of it. I’ll stay here,” you don’t give Gwen a chance to talk back, instead staying behind the bar, engaging in small talk with other clients. 
“Doll, are you okay?” Adam asks you after noticing you struggling to open a beer bottle. He takes it from your hands and opens it with ease. “There you go.”
“Thank you, Adam. I’m fine, never been better. Why you ask?
“You sure?”
“Affirmative.”
“You mixed up our drinks,” he explains in his most psychologist-like voice. “This never happens to you. Michael has my wine, and I’ve got his martini.”
“Fuck! I’m so sorry. I just— I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” you chew on your bottom lip, rubbing your temples. “I feel stupid.”
“Oh, please. Don’t say that. You’re far from being stupid,” he sits up straight, reaching for your fingers and giving them an apologetic squeeze. “If you ask me, I think you’ve got your mind on someone else,” he must notice how you visibly get tense because he adds: “Remember: I know when you’re lying. You didn’t charge him the other day, which means that you must really like him,” taking a tentative sip of the martini he didn’t even ordered, Adam shrugs. “I’m a great observer. That’s all.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you see the blonde girl from before returning to where her friends are chatting. Logan is left alone, and you watch him grab his glass and head towards the counter.
“As I said, your mind’s somewhere else,” Adam sighs, a tiny smirk tugging at his lips. “Go get your man. I’ll survive.”
“Not my man. But thanks, older-and-wiser-version-of-cupid.”
Pretending not to have seen Logan, you continue with your work. He remains silent for some minutes before finally saying: “Hi.”
Hi? It sounds so out of character for him.
“Hey, claws,” you force a smile, still avoiding to meet his gaze. “Do you need anything?”
Logan points to his empty glass, like a toddler asking for more cereal. “I also wanted to talk to you.”
“I thought you were busy over there,” you say, surprisingly managing to sound nonchalant, despite the jealousy bubbling underneath your friendly tone. “Did you get her number?”
“What? No.”
“Why not? She’s cute.”
Yeah, maybe you don’t sound as collected as you think.
Whether Logan notices it or not, he chooses not to mention it. He folds his arms over his chest, fixing his brown eyes on you. “I’m not interested.”
“And what is it that interests you, champ?” your question elicits a low chuckle from him. Just as he opens his mouth to seemingly reply, Gwen appears out of nowhere to ask you about the price of a certain drink. Your gaze shifts between her and Logan, who remains focused on you while sipping his drink.
After that, Gwen leaves. The man in front of you goes poker-faced, pursing his lips, and his abrupt change in demeanor alarms you. “Wade wants to have dinner tomorrow at his apartment– well, our apartment. I live with him now. It’s complicated,” he adds with a dismissive wave of his hand, and you laugh. “Anyway, he asked me to tell you that you’re invited. I know we don’t know each other that much, but… he said you seem like someone worth havin’ around,” he mumbles awkwardly, eyes downcast. “I think the same as well.”
You could die at peace.
“You’re a lucky fucker because I don’t work on Sundays,” you quip, smiling. “I’d be more than happy to attend your feast.”
“Great. I thought you would turn down the invitation.”
“Now why would you think that?”
“‘Cause you barely know me– us,” he corrects himself rapidly. “Plus, Wade’s annoying as hell when he puts his mind to it. You’ll see.”
“Marital problems?” he actually in response. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. Oh, I’ll bring the dessert.”
“You don’t have to.”
“But I do want to,” you tilt your head in an effort to hide your longing for him.
“Just want to get under my skin, huh? I can see why Wade likes you,” Logan beams, reaching out to tuck a $100 bill into the pocket of your apron. “The tip’s included.”
“I don’t know how things work in your universe, but you’re giving me way more money than you’re supposed to. I can't accept this.”
“Oh, but you will,” his gravelly voice fucks your system up, and you’re glad he can’t see how you squeeze your legs together behind the bar.
He writes down Wade’s address on a random napkin, holding his breath as he stands up. “I should get goin’. See you tomorrow then.”
Before he walks out the door, you stop him. “Logan? You didn’t answer my other question.”
His back shakes momentarily with laughter. Turning around to face you, his stare leaves you even more confused. “Good night, doll.”
This is becoming a habit: every time he goes away, you feel as though you’ve just run a marathon with no water available. Your mouth is completely dry, your fingers are numb and there’s a knot in your stomach that’s becoming all too familiar.
“Would you mind telling me where you got him?” Gwen’s voice makes you almost jump out of your skin.
“He’s not from around here. I think he’s Canadian.”
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You’ve got this. You’ve got this. You’ve got this.
Knocking softly on Wade’s door, you step back, the container holding the tiramisu cold to your touch. It’s your first time trying out this recipe, so you’re expecting it to at least not taste like shit.
Wade answers the apartment door, acting surprised when you remain silent. “Well, look what the wind blew in: if it isn’t my husband’s lover. How dare you? We’re still going to couples therapy.”
You show him the container, and he squints at it. “Tiramisu. You want it or not?”
“I hate twenty-somethings,” he says with a defeated sigh, stepping aside to let you into the apartment. 
Leaving your purse on the nearest surface, you scan the living room, wondering where Logan might be. There’s a small mirror beneath the couch, and you check yourself for the hundredth time tonight. “Don’t get too excited. He’s still showering,” Wade’s voice rings in your ears, and you turn to look at him, your eyebrows knitted. “Yeah. I noticed. You’re already drooling over that big piece of metal between his legs.”
“Keep quiet!” you cover his mouth with your palm, noticing the scarred state of his skin up close. “Wade, you fucking dog. Are you licking my hand?”
“Couldn’t help it. You taste like mascarpone cheese and espresso.”
Then Logan emerges from the bathroom, with only a white towel draped around his waist. Droplets of water fall from his wet hair, tracing the muscle of his abs, ending somewhere beneath his happy trail. Your eyes keep flickering between him and his torso until he clears his throat. “I thought you were comin’ later.”
“Me too, but I…,” you trail off, your brain struggling to catch up, “I didn’t know what else to do at my place.”
“It’s fine. Just– let me put on some clothes.”
“Please don’t,” Wade murmurs next to you, but Logan only scoffs. “I was just being honest. Communication is key.”
When Wade and you are alone again, he lets out a harsh breath. “That was probably the hottest thing I’ve ever seen. My pants are really tight right now.”
“Thin walls, buddy!” Logan shouts from his bedroom, earning a laugh from you. 
Like A Prayer starts playing. Wade moves his hips to the beat, getting lost in the melody. “Is that your phone?”
“Yeah, but I always take a few seconds to dance to it. Such a banger!” he says, then picks up his phone, accepting the call. “Hey, Ness! What´s up?” Wade covers the speaker before telling you: “It’s Vanessa. My ex-girlfriend. We fuck once a week, sometimes even twice.”
From behind, Logan nudges your arm with his, looking at you. ”Hey, kid.”
“No, I’m not busy at all,” Wade exclaims, grabbing his crotch and thrusting into the air. “I’ll be there in ten, cupcake. See you,” he spreads his arms wide and whistles. “Someone’s getting laid tonight!”
“You made me come all the way here… and now you’re leaving?”
“What? My friend Wolverine wanted to invite you over. I just had to provide the apartment,” in one quick movement, he presses a kiss to your cheek, then does the same to Logan. “Shave yourself, will you?”
“Go fuck yourself, will you?”
“Love you too, honey. Hope you two lovebirds have a good night, because I know I will!”
Wade throws a wink over his shoulder before heading out, the apartment going dead silent. Logan and you stand frozen, staring at each other, although he quickly drops his gaze, unable to maintain eye contact. A giggle threatens to escape you: he wanted to see you. Could he possibly enjoy your company as much as you enjoy his?
Logan watches the spot where Wave had just been. The absence of his chaotic energy makes the room feel strangely empty now. He coughs lightly, the sound awkwardly loud in the quiet room.
“So... I, uh, bought pizza,” he says, his voice a little too casual, as if trying to cover up his nervousness. Averting his eyes, he focuses on the pizza boxes on the table.
You catch the hesitation in his tone, your curiosity piqued by his discomfort. Tilting your head, a teasing smile forms on your lips. “Pizza, huh? You sure know how to impress a girl.”
Logan chuckles, the sound strained, as he scratches the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, I figured it was a safe choice. Didn’t want to ruin it, y’know?”
You move closer to the table, the warmth from the pizza boxes radiating against your hands as you open one of them. The rich smell of melted cheese and pepperoni fills the air, a comforting scent that makes your stomach growl softly. “Thank you. I’m a big fan of pizza.”
He sits in the chair across from you, taking a bite of his slice. You watch him quietly, your own thoughts churning. The truth of his origins had been a shock at first, but now, it just made you want to know more about the man. What was his life like in the other universe? Did he miss it? Was he happier here, or was he longing to return?
“Logan…,” you begin, your tone gentle but probing, “Can I ask you something?”
He glances up at you, eyes widening. There’s something in your eyes –an understanding, maybe– that makes him feel like you could see right through him. 
“Sure,” he replies, trying to sound more at ease than he really feels. “Ask away.”
You hesitate for a moment, not wanting to push too hard. “I was wondering... would it be okay if I asked you some questions? About, you know, your life. Where you're from.”
The bite of pizza suddenly feels heavy in his mouth. He hadn’t talked much about his world, not even with Wade. Partly because it was too painful, and partly because he wasn’t sure how to explain how things turned out for him. He nods slowly, setting his slice down. “Yeah, it's okay. I’ll answer what I can.”
“I just... I want to understand you better.”
“Well, first and foremost, I’m no hero. You should know that by now.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Kid, I’m the worst Logan. A complete failure. Of all the variants out there, Wade just had to pick the one despised by every living soul on his earth,” Logan looks away, his voice low and heavy. You’re wondering if doing this was a good idea. “I need a drink.”
He gets up and you follow him into the kitchen. He rummages through the fridge, in search of a cold beer. Meanwhile, you attempt to find the right words. “I don’t think–”
With a sharp flick of his wrist, three metal claws sprout from between his knuckles. A gasp catches in your throat as he uses his claws to pierce the beer can, drinking from the punctured holes. Once he’s done, he goes back to staring at you. Your gaze, on the other hand, is still glued to the now-empty beer can. “What?” he asks, exhaling slowly.
“That was completely unnecessary,” you mutter, and he lets out a bitter chuckle, tossing the can into the trash. “But, back to what you said before– I don’t think you’re the worst Logan.”
“You didn’t know me back then, darlin’. I fucked it up,” he leans against the counter, arms crossed defensively over his chest. “Like the Logan from this universe, I once belonged to the X-Men too. I remember that Scott used to beg me to wear my suit. So did Jean, Storm, Beast– All of them,” his gaze grows more distant, and you can tell that memories are flooding his mind. “Wanted me to be part of the team, but I wouldn’t do it. Told them they looked fucking ridiculous.”
The pizza’s long forgotten. You take the risk and get a bit closer to him, your eyes never leaving his. 
Logan’s silence stretches for a moment before he speaks again. “One day, while I was off on my own, the humans came. They went mutant hunting.”
Your heart clenches at the pain in his voice. He still remembers everything as if it had happened yesterday. “I can guess the rest. You don’t have to–”
But he cuts you off. “No, let me say it. I need to say it,” he takes a deep breath, lowering his head. “By the time I stumbled home, shit-faced from the bar, it was too late. They were dead. They called after me and I walked away.”
Reaching out, your hand gently brushes against his. He doesn’t pull away, but instead searches for your eyes. “My suit's all I've got to remind me of who they were. What I did. I found them and they were… dead. I started killing, and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. I turned the whole world against the X-Men.”
You tighten your grip on his hand, knowing there’s nothing you can do to change how he feels. “You’re not a bad person, Logan,” he shakes his head, mumbling something you can’t quite catch. “I mean it. What happened back then doesn’t define you. You took the blame for their deaths upon yourself. I can tell you loved them deeply, and I’ll never fully understand the pain you feel. I wish I could. I wish I could take it away, make you forget somehow, but I can’t. That’s not how life works. But you got your second chance: you saved this world. My world,” gently cupping his face in your hands, you allow your fingers to caress his cheeks. He leans into your touch, watching you with half-lidded eyes. “You’re my hero. I’m your biggest fan– after Wade, obviously, which is a lot to say.”
He grins, letting out a laugh. “Easy there, bub.”
“Should I give you some space?”
That’s the last thing he wants from you right now. You already know that as he looks you up and down, placing his hands on the small of your back, his thumbs drawing small circles on your skin. There’s no turning back– The warmth between you feels almost like a fever dream. “For a long time, all I wanted was to disappear. I couldn’t stand waking up every morning, knowing that another day awaited me.”
“And what happened?” your breath mingles with his, his closeness becoming nearly intoxicating. “What changed?”
“I met a pretty girl at a pub, that’s what happened,” he murmurs, his dilated pupils flicking up to meet your gaze. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”
“Do all your kisses come with a warning?”
“God, do you ever shut up?”
You don’t have time to respond because he kisses you there and then. His stubble scrapes your skin as your mouths meet again and again, needy hands that hold you as if you were prone to breaking. Logan licks into your mouth, sliding his tongue against yours and swallowing every one of your whimpers.
“So this is what it takes to shut you up, huh?” he murmurs against your lips. You can feel him smiling, and it makes your heart skip a beat. 
“Keep talking and you won’t get a single bite of my tiramisu,” you tease him, kissing him again, the taste of beer numbing your senses. “I really like kissing you.”
“The feeling’s mutual, but now that you’ve mentioned that tiramisu…”
“Am I that easily replaced?”
“No. You’re just a pain in the ass.”
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Jokes aside, you’re as happy as a clam.
Since that night you and Logan kissed, you’ve been living your best life. Like a freaking schoolgirl with a crush. Some things never seem to change.
He hasn’t been to the bar in three days. Yes, you’re counting them. No, you haven’t lost your mind. You want to see him, but there’s something about making the first move that gives you the chills. What would his reaction be if you showed outside of apartment?
It’s been a long time since you’ve been with anybody. On top of that, all the guys you’ve dated were your age. Being with someone that older than you certainly wasn’t no your plans. You’d be lying if you said that the mere idea of being with him in that way didn’t excite you.
Oh boy, you miss him. You miss his scruffy voice, his gorgeous hair. And you two aren’t even official yet. To be honest, you don’t even know what he wants from you. Is he even the type to be in a relationship?
“Nighty night, gentlemen,” you say to Gary and his friends as you find yourself in front of them, smoothing your apron. Gwen had called in sick tonight, so it’s just you at the bar babysitting a bunch of grown-men.
“What’s up, doll? You’ve forgotten about us. We miss you coming in here to chat,” Gary’s eating his burger at the same time he speaks, something you find repulsive, but you’ve seen worse. “Y’know, I’d love to take you out someday. I have a place you’d like.”
The other men laugh and punch him in the back, just boosting his ego. Pathetic. 
“I’ll let you know when I’m free,” you reply with the most polite smile you can offer, intending to go on. “What are you having tonight?”
“You always pull that shit, baby. I don’t think you’re so busy that you can’t accept a date.”
You hate the way he’s looking at you, as if you were wrong for not being interested. As if you didn’t know any better.
“You’re reading minds now? Shocking, Gary.”
“Oh, doll. That attitude of yours shows you’ve never been with a real man like me, that’s all,” he leans back in his chair, resting one of his arms on the table and the other one near his crotch, manspreading. “It’s alright. I like you bratty.”
“I’ll be back when you finally have something to order,” you attempt to turn around but he grabs your wrist, pulling you closer. Your eyes lock, and he seems to enjoy this: being in control. Like a predator hunting his prey. “Come on, Gary. I don’t want to have to kick you out.”
“It’s not that you don't like me, right? You’ve already got your mouth full.”
“Careful.”
“What? Don’t tell me you’re not fucking that useless mutant. I see you like ‘em older. Pretty little things like you drive me wild.”
You laugh in his face, showing him your teeth. “It was never about your age, Gary. You’re right: I do like them older. I’m just not into bald, vertically-challenged pricks.”
His entourage of idiots goes silent after that. He looks up at you, eyes burning with hatred. His grip on your wrist tightens, probably leaving a mark. “Fucking bitch.”
“Get your hands off her.”
Logan’s voice forces the two of you to look in his direction. It seems that he’s just arrived at the pub, his jacket still on. 
“You joining us? We’re just getting started here, big boy.”
“Did you not hear me?” Logan lunges forward, his nose almost touching Gary’s. “The fuck is wrong with you?”
“Easy there, cowboy. I’m just having a chat with your girl. She’s one of the good ones, I’ll give you that,” arching a sly brow, his forehead puckers. “You don’t like sharing? We can even take turns.”
Logan clenches his jaw, lips set in a grim line. “Say one more word, and I’ll fucking kill you.”
“I’ll give you a full sentence instead: can you even get it up?” 
The tension in the air is thick, every second stretching out as Logan's anger simmers dangerously close to the surface. Gary’s smug grin only makes it worse, pushing him to the edge. Before you can react, Logan’s fist swings forward, connecting with Gary’s jaw with a sickening crack. Gary staggers back, realising your wrist. Blood seeps from his nose, his white shirt becoming stained with it. “You fucker! You broke my nose!”
“We’re just getting started here, big boy,” Logan mocks him, repeating his previous words.
“Stop!” you shout, moving quickly to grab his arm, trying to pull him back. But he’s beyond hearing, his rage blinding him to everything else. He shakes you off, and with a fierce growl, drives another punch into Gary’s stomach. The latter doubles over, gasping for air, the wind knocked out of him. He then falls to the floor, curling into a ball. People start to gather around you, and soon your beloved bar becomes a box ring.
“That’s enough, Logan! He’s barely conscious,” you murmur under your breath, stepping between them, hands up in a desperate attempt to create some space. Logan pauses, chest heaving, fists still clenched, as he finally looks at you. The wildness in his eyes starts to fade, replaced by a dawning realization of what he’s done.
“He deserved it,” he nods vigorously to himself, as if trying to explain his point. “He was hurting you.”
“If you keep that up, you’re going to kill him. My bar is not a fucking cemetery,” your voice trembles a little bit, expecting to talk some sense into him. “I won’t let you do this.”
The room is quiet now, the only sound being Logan’s heavy breathing as he stands there, still tense, still processing. You turn to Gary’s friends, cold fury in your eyes. “Get him out of here,” you watch as they haul him up, practically dragging him to the door. The other clients continue to stare at Logan, their mouths hanging open. “Everybody out, right now! Go home. We’re closing earlier tonight.”
Adam is the last person to leave, slamming the door behind him. You rush to the counter, searching for a mop to clean the fresh blood off the floor. Still agitated, the images of Logan hitting Gary flash in your mind. He approaches you from behind, his fingers circling your forearm. “Bub–”
“Don’t. Now is not the time.”
“I was protecting you.”
“I told you to stop, and you didn’t. You just shook me off,” you snap, glancing at his knuckles which are not even bruised. Slamming your eyes shut, you get to your feet and wash your hands in the sink, the remaining water becoming reddish for a moment.
Logan moves closer, resting his chin on your shoulder. He wraps his arms lazily around your middle section. ”I’m sorry.”
You turn in his arms, your back flushed against the sink and your nose in the air. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I don’t have a phone.”
“But– Jesus, Logan. You could’ve come sooner. I thought you regretted what happened the other day,” you say and the muscles in his face twitch, his body stiffening at your words. “Thought you no longer wanted me.”
“No, bub. I– I still want you. I want all of you, trust me,” he murmurs, and you allow him to press his body against yours, the scent of the cigar he must have smoked recently enveloping your senses. “I just… don’t know how to do this. I have a habit of ruining things, and I’m trying to figure out the best way to be with you without hurting you.”
“Pushing me away also hurts,” your eyes flick up to meet his gaze again, and he whispers under his breath. “I can’t read your mind. You need to tell me what’s going on in that ancient skull of yours.”
His face falters, flashing you a mischievous look. His hand creeps under the fabric of your shirt, fingernails scrapping against your spine. “I’m sorry, princess. I truly am.”
“You can’t just say ‘sorry’ with that voice and expect me to–”
You’re cut off by his lips crashing down onto yours. You melt into the kiss, unable to deny what your body has been craving for the past days. 
“I thought your kisses came with a warning,” you say, detaching your mouth from his, a smile spreading uncontrollably in your face as you see his toothy grin.
“Shut up and kiss me, will you?”
In a clash of tongues and teeth, your mouths meet once again. Tugging the hair at his nape, you feel him growl against your lips. His strong hands trace every curve of your body, kneading the flesh of your hips and undoing the knot at the back of your apron. You’re becoming one with the sink, but in a moment like this, you couldn’t care less. Logan’s hard on nudges your lower stomach, and he ruts against you like an animal.
“You said you wanted to know what’s on my mind, right?” his teeth nibble on the skin of your neck, syrupy voice going straight to your core. “Well, I’d love nothing more than to touch you right now.”
“Right here? On the counter?”
“Yeah, on the fucking counter,” he grabs you by your thighs, hosting you up and placing your body on top of the cold bar. He nudges your knees apart, his bulge meeting your clothed cunt deliciously. “Will you let me, baby? Can I make you come in here?”
“Please. I’m glad we have such a low budget. Camera installment is t–too expensive these days.”
“Do you always talk this much?” he slowly unbuttons your pants, and you help him to remove them.
“Yes. Next question,” your breath hitches in your throat as you feel the pad of his thumb circling your clit through your panties. Your eyelids drop, your head lolling back. “Fuck, that feels good.”
Logan hums, mesmerized with the way your hips roll into his hand, your whimpers sounding like music to his ears. “You have any idea how I felt when I saw him touching you? Wanted to rip his hands off you,” his eyes drift to your chest, how it rises and falls with impatience. “But it’s me who gets to have you like this. He can fantasize about you all he wants: I’m the only one who touches you, ain’t I right?” you sigh with content as his fingers graze your slit, aimlessly bucking your hips. He doesn’t go any further, and you tug at the collar of his flannel, needing more of his callousand hands on you. “Nuh-uh. You want something, you gotta use your words. Got it?”
“I w–want your fingers inside me,” you don’t even recognize your own voice at this point. The few guys you had slept with had never been very talkative during sex. But Logan isn’t like them. This is just the beginning and you’re already starting to realize that he has a dirty mouth, that expectant look on his face as he waits to see your reaction to his words. “Please, Logan. I want you so bad.”
“Oh, I know, bub. There’s something about me I don’t think you know,” he inserts one of his fingers in your cunt, your slick coating the palm of his hand. “These claws I have… they didn’t come on their own. Let’s just say my sense of smell is… pretty good,” Logan can almost see the gears turning in your head as you try to think coherently. He moves his middle finger in and out of you, stretching your walls. “And you… have been wet ever since the first time you saw me. Always nice to everybody, making sure they feel at ease,” you feel like you’re being stretched even further, another one of his fingers sinking into your warm pussy. “But you’re so needy, too. How long has it been since someone touched you like this?”
“Too long, f–fuck. Too long,” you’re squirming, a totally whiny mess. He retratcs his wet fingers and instead goes back to flicking your clit, this time with much less delicacy. His left hand squeezes your tits, and you hate the fact that you’re still wearing clothes. “Shit, Logan. I need you to fuck me. Please. Need your cock.”
His face comes to rest at your neck, and you feel lingering kisses and bites that keep you grounded to earth. “Not here. I need a bed to fuck you properly. You’re only getting my fingers now,” he positions them inches away from your entrance, testing your patience. “Tell me who owns this pussy.”
“L-logan–”
“Tell me and I’ll make you come,” his husky voice is making you dizzy, tears shimmering in your eyes. “Come on. Know you want it as much as I do.”
You succumb to the tentation, like divinity turned to sin. He kisses you roughly, and you struggle to find the correct words. “It’s you, Logan. You own my pussy. It’s f-fucking yours.”
With that, he goes back to nudging that spot that makes you see starts, that filthy squelching sound getting mixed up with your moans. The knot in your belly keeps growing tighter the more he pumps his fingers in and out of you. 
“I said you were only getting my fingers for now, but fuck… I need to gest a taste of this sweet cunt.”
He’s on his knees in an instant, urging your legs apart to make room for his body. Your thighs tighten around his face as he licks a hot stripe up your folds, tracing a heated path on your cunt, not wishing to waste a single second. Pleasure builds quickly, your breath hitching as your hands find their way into his hair, pulling him closer when your body begins to tremble. 
“I’m close,” you pant, breathing hard, grinding your hips against his face. “I’m so close.”
“That’s it. Come in my mouth like the good girl you are.”
Who had given him a damn script for this?
The release is explosive. Like the peak of a roller coaster: you go up up up, ascending higher. You think you almost see Jesus, but at some point, you also have to crash down with force. Your shoulders slump, your entire body cramping up; yet he doesn’t let you go that easily, his fingers still working, scissoring within you while you ride out the final waves of your high, drawing out every last moment of ecstasy.
Once you finally manage to open your eyes, there he is, staring down at you. He taps your lower lip with his fingers, and then mutters: “Open.”
And you do, because you’re just as messed up as he is. Your mouth parts, and he slides his fingers between your lips, dragging them smoothly across your tongue. His knuckles brush the back of your throat, and you gag around the intrusion, tasting yourself. He pulls his fingers out of your mouth, clearly satisfied with the way you’ve cleaned them off.
“I think we should really pay a visit to your apartment,” he suggests, groaning in defeat, and you feel his bulge poking your hip. He must be painfully hard. “I meant what I said earlier. I need a bed if we’re going to fuck. My back’s hurting.”
You raise an eyebrow, the corner of your mouth curving into a smirk. “Why not go to yours?”
“Wade’s in there. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate.”
You can’t help but laugh, pausing a moment to collect your thoughts, heat rising to your cheeks. “So we’re going rodeo?”
Aiming to silence up, Logan kisses you, pinching your chin between his thumb and forefinger. “Only if you can handle it.”
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part 2: “GIVE ME THE FIRST TASTE”
dividers by: @/cafekitsune thank you!!! :)
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ozzgin · 5 months ago
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Just read your arranged marriage kidnapped by a most post and the humor in the servants always thinking reader is in peril. The same going for monster hubby (He just thinks they're submissive and breedable)
Like none of them realize they are a moster fucker cause they hide it so well. Like just imagining reader be like "oh be gentle with me I'm a dainty maiden" and then giving him the night of his life is hilarious. Or them having dinner and the servants feel bad for them cause monster hubby is eating human meat but their just thinking about other things he can use his tongue on.
Or maybe someone comes to rescue them from the terrible monster finally. But they don't wanna leave and instead fight the knight off. The knight thinks they've been brainwashed or something. Meanwhile the servants think the knight just wasn't good enough to rescue them.
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Content: gender neutral reader, monster romance, NSFW! [Part 1] | [More Monsters]
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The servants are not blind by any means: they can tell, quite plainly, that their monstrous Lord has a soft spot for you. Not only that, but the beast nearly worships you! They've come up with many theories, the latest one involving witchcraft. Surely you must have some sort of magical trickery under your sleeve in order to subdue their Master. There's no other way around it. All previous humans have been devoured, or have died in a pitiful attempt to escape, terrified to the bone upon gazing at his blasphemous Majesty.
You can't blame them. It's probably better for everyone involved if you omit the fact that your source of witchcraft lies in your...genitals. Well, not just that, of course. Your husband had started to lose hope. His appreciation of humans never came to fruition before your arrival. He was expecting you to cower in fear, not throw yourself at him.
He wondered if you wanted something from him in return, but no one could possibly pretend so flawlessly: the way you clung to him unprompted. The way you hungrily took him in, tears welling in your eyes, refusing to let go until you could feel his load avalanching down your throat. The way you'd trap his hips with your legs, despite being weak and feverish, asking that he doesn't stop yet. If that wasn't proof enough, your whines and moans were loud and clear. To think he could have his own little human, one who isn't repulsed by his monstrous form. He would've been content with mere tolerance, yet someone who begged to be fucked by him? He's been delirious ever since.
He loves everything about you, naturally, but he can't deny the shameless addiction he's now developed towards your body. He'd pound you anywhere and anytime if he could. If he needs to leave for official matters, know that the return will burn in the back of his mind.
"An important date, Sir?" one traveling servant will ask, glancing at all the scribbles in the calendar.
"Indeed", he answers solemnly. It's the times when he can finally fuck you dumb.
While the servants worry about their devilish Master being put under leash, for the other fellow humans the opposite seems to be true. You recall your last "rescuing" attempt distinctly. During one of your evening walks, burly, foreign arms swept you off in an instant. Before you knew it, you were holding onto the armored shoulders of an unknown man, as he made his way out of the traditional garden.
"I'll get you out of here", he promised between heaving breaths.
You stared in confusion. What was he saving you from? A good dicking? No matter how much you explained that you do actually like your newly appointed husband, the hero wouldn't budge.
You ended up just walking back home when the man fell asleep.
"That was quite the long walk", your monster partner remarked, polishing his weapons.
"Oh no, I was kidnapped", you state casually. "Got us some fruits on the way back."
Would it have been better to lie about it? On one hand, you do feel terrible for whoever attempted to retrieve you from the claws of the tyrant. Your husband is very possessive, and you know he'll scorch the Earth until that treacherous pest is gutted and fed to the pigs.
On the other hand...he becomes particularly savage after such incidents. You won't be able to sit properly for the next few weeks, but it's worth it.
Tough luck, you tell yourself, lounging in bed with a satisfied smirk and torn apart hole.
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exopelagic · 1 year ago
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I love my degree I love my department I love my uni
#killing and biting and screaming#if I have to do one more thing ever again I’m gonna lose it I can’t wait for may I can’t wait for may#I had a very nice chat with a phd student today who confirmed everything I’ve been thinking from a different perspective#and let me tell you. vindication is nice.#I’m so close to things being bearable but to get there I have to make it through The Horrors. there are so many horrors#okay the one thing has happened someone’s asking me to read an email that’s it I’m done forever#I will keep going even though I’m gonna have to claw my way through. bc unfortunately I have responsibilities#such as ‘run this dumb club’ and ‘give this dumb presentation’ and ‘email these dumb supervisors’#and my friend is being so fucking annoying abt how we like the same supervisors and is complaining abt me going for similar people#oh people are fucking upstairs that’s fun love to hear it#anyway I’m literally sending her people to talk to and she’s complaining that I like the sound of this person she brings up.#sorry dude im not applying to shit I don’t like to save your ego#anyway I can’t wait to get out of this city maybe I’ll move somewhere else when I graduate and spend the year there#phd student earlier was suggesting places to go to get research assistant jobs#oh my god she was also talking abt how biology is so nepotistic it’s all abt the people you know#and then I go talk to the friend again whose dad has a fancy research job and she’s LITERALLY CITING HIM IN HER PRESENTATION#HE OFFERED TO GET HER A JOB AT DEFRA. HES GIVEN HER THE IDEAS FOR HER LAST TWO PROJECTS.#PEOPLE KEEP THINKING ITS CUTE AND COOL AND SHIT THAT SHES GETTING STUFF FROM HER DAD AND I WANT TO SCREAM#LAST YEAR SOMEONE TOLD HER SHE SHOULD PUBLISH THIS ANALYSIS SHE DID OF DATA SHE GOT FROM HER DAD. BC NOBODY ELSE HAS DONE ANYTHING WITH IT.#I’m gonna have to live with her next year#murder. murder#why did saving as draft give everything double tags will that show up when I post#weird.#I am being soooooo normal abt everything I can function so good sleep deprived#okay it’s fine. I’m gonna. finish eating. wash up. call home. write presentation. read this guy’s thing so I can email him. hockey?#very ambitious but if I get some things done that’s fine#luke.txt
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