#let me know if i should elaborate on things like jordan sharing make up with marie or those two saving emma from her mom

[avaelangel]

Parents weekend.

LiMoreau blurb. Really, really want Marie to meet Jordan's parents, but I do think we won't get that in the show.

Warnings: None? I don't think I went angsty enough, but I hope it's still enjoyable. Probably not proofread enough. Might fuck around and write more.

~3093 words.

''What the fuck?''

The light went out half-way to Jordan's room and Marie heard them curse from the end of the hall. She kept going, trying not to crush into anyone beside her now boyfriend, assuming by the voice she heard. Feeling for their slightly increased heartbeat, she reached out a hand to touch theirs.

''It's me,'' she heard a sigh and hands wrapped around her, ''What happened?''

''I'll find that electricity-wileding son of a bitch and kill him,'' the moment Jordan said that, light came back.

The looked at each other for a moment. Marie with casual, but growing tenderness, Jordan with worry that seemed to be easying up. They saw Marie blink out of something. She still was tracking their heartbeat, but also, thought like she stared too much.

''What's wrong?''

''What's up?''

They both huffed in annoyance, then laughed.

''I asked first,'' Marie smiled, her hands tightened around Jordan.

''Fuck,'' Jordan tugged her into their room, letting the door close with a bang. A hug became a bit broken, but Jordan still wanted to save it wrapping their arm around Marie's waist.

''The next weekend is the parents weekend,''

''Oh,'' Marie sort of glitched on that. She was lying to people about her parents, who obviosly would be ''too busy'' to visit. Guardian shit died down, so nobody would think to like...hire actors, right? But she said the other thing.

''Already?'' She pulled away to look at Jordan better, ''We should get you and Emma out of school,'' the conviction in her voice made Jordan smile.

''I have to talk to them, probably,'' Jordan sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. They started tapping their leg on the floor and switched, ''I haven't spoken to my dad since the gala,''

Marie's expertise on parent-child relationship started with what little memories she had of hers and promising to beat up Emma's mom. She didn't really know what to say, so she sat next to Jordan, offering them her hand to take.

''I can be there, if you want,'' Jordan took her hand, intertwining the fingers, ''I can beat you dad, if you want me to,'' Marie leaned in closer, whispering. Jordan snorted with laighter.

''As much as I would want you to try that, no. Not this time. Do you really want to meet them, though? Be a distraction, basically. From the fact that my dad would rather choke then call me at least his child, let alone his daughter,'' Jordan's jaw clenched. They looked at their tapping leg and forcibly stopped it.

''I don't mind being a distraction. I'll even fuck around and agree that we are getting married after graduation,'' Marie smiled at horror in Jordan's eyes, ''In like Norway,'' she shrugged with most grace she could master.

''You really expect me to freeze my ass off for you?'' Jordan's default settings popped back in, but they still laughed, ''I hope it won't get that bad,'' they glanced at Marie, ''I mean, with my parents.''

''It doesn't have to be bad,'' Marie squeezed their hand, ''We'll do what we supposed to do, charm them out prying in your life. Or we can pretend that you are dating Emma and make them talk to her when she's a size of a glass of water.''

''I am the only one who's going to be puking when my parents come,'' Jordan fell back on the bed, but did chuckle.

''I'll hold your hair then,'' she settled in next to them on her side, ''Even if metaphorically, I think both of your haircuts are pretty comfortable for puking,'' she enjoyed Jordan's silent fight against laughter.

''I haven't puked since my graduation, I think,'' Jordan softly knocked on Marie's shoulder with their forehead and let out a heavy sigh.

''How much do you have to drink to puke?'' Marie mused, while Jordan untangled their fingers from hers and pushed for her to end up on her back, almost kicking their girlfriend out of the bed. They quickly pulled her back, putting their head on Marie's shoulder. Jordan chose to ignore her giggles.

''You really don't want to be a witness to that,'' they murmured, clearly trying to hug their worries away, ''And don't ask Andre about things like that,'' Jordan's grasp on Marie's waist became stronger.

''Watch me,'' Marie wasn't going to ask Andre , not really, ''It's going to be okay. Hopefully, we won't have to drink ourselves stupid,'' she brushed Jordan's hair away from their eyes.

''It might be, but don't get your hopes up,'' Jordan huffed, closing their eyes, ''Thank you,'' they said with a sigh.

''Too early to thank me,'' Marie decided to drop the topic for now. There is still a week to prepare.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

The week passed rather quickly. On Tuesday Jordan's mom texted, saying that they do plan on visiting, but probably for one evening because of work. Some kind of errands to run in town. Texting with Marie at the same time, Jordan told their parents about having a ''special someone'' and allowed their mother to sugesst meeting that someone herself.

By Thursday a reservation for four was made in a very bougie restaurant. Marie became wary of it and doubted her choice of dress. Jordan assured her that there is no constriction. No need to be bougie back, just as normal as possible. It was getting windier outside.

Friday came. Marie knocked on Jordan's door an hour before they agreed to meet. When they opened the door, Marie made a pose, to show off her black turtleneck dress and a nice bag, courtesy of Emma. Black shiny boots boots with a safe heel were bought with her help too.

''Do I need a jacket?'' When Jordan kept staring, Marie felt the need to break the silence.

''No, we are taking my car,'' they sounded irritated, coming back to the desk with accessories spread out. Closing the door behind her, Marie looked over Jordan's shoulder curiosly.

''It's fucking stupid,'' Jordan mutters, picking a gold and black ring. Their burgundy shirt has a couple of buttons undone, favorite chain missing, ''I'm still trying to impress them,'' they stilled when Marie's hand wrapped around their arm.

''I should be the one to impress them, right?'' She asked in a soft voice, trying to make Jordan look at her. They let out a heavy sigh.

''You shouldn't be doing anything,'' Jordan glances at Marie and back at the desk, their fingers toyed with a two different couples of cufflinks.

''I'm already here and I'm not leaving you to explain to your parents that you for sure did not imagine having a girlfriend,'' Marie didn't see Jordan's soft smile when she picked up both kinds of cufflinks, making them choose between a silver circle with black centre and a small red-ish triangle surrounded by gold. Without words, Jordan chose the latter.

They watched Marie intently. Someone who didn't know them both, might have thought that it was a gaze of a hawk. But Jordan was trying to bottle up the moment in which Marie stepped ready to support them regardless. And how she confidently fumbled with the cufflinks, but still managed to get it right in seconds.

''Do you think I'm ungrateful?'' Jordan asked. After the gala, in the dark of their room and their thoughts, Jordan tried to understand what it was like for Marie before she got here. And how their bitching and moaning about parents being mean might sound to her.

''No!'' Marie, when she finally got it, exclaimed, ''No, don't even think about it like that,'' she held their arms at the elbow for some reason, ''After what you told me, what I've heard from Emma and Cate, I can say that bad parents can eat a bag of dicks,'' she raised her eyebrows in mock-annoyance, like she said the most obvious thing.

''But I won't say any of this tonight,'' Marie's fury calmed down and she let go of Jordan, who was trying not to smile too much.

''At least tell them your name first,'' they chuckled. A loose curl fell to their face and Marie brushed it back. She debated commenting on how romantic this hair style looked.

''Anything else I shouldn't tell them?'' Marie asked with some doubt.

''If you call me your 'partner', my dad might joke about us role-playing as cowboys,'' those words slipped with such ease, even Jordan's smirk didn't tell Marie anything about how true this statement was.

''What that phrase was? Save a horse, ride a cowboy?''Marie said it with as much feighed innocence as she could muster. Jordan, browsing their accessory spread, stifled a laugh, pursing their lips together.

''I have a cowboy hat,'' they had to take a breath. They chose a golden ring connected with a delecate chain bracelet with another chain. Marie didn't understand at first that Jordan was offering it to her. So she gave them her hand.

In thickened silence, Jordan slowly slid cool metal onto Marie's palm, the ring fitting her perfectly. They wouldn't accept it back later.

''Never took you as a gold person,'' she murmured, glancing down at the desk.

''Oh, right,'' Jordan held her hand, bracelet already on, ''When I met Luke, he got his first brand deal with some mildly luxury jewelry brand. Took away as much as they let him. Gave it to all of us. Since then I've been giving gold a chance,'' their eyes met. Marie felt a sting of guilt, but also was happy to see them remember Luke fondly.

''Come,'' Jordan pulled her a bit so they both could fit in a mirror. Their squinted gaze examined both oufits. They even put their hands in pockets of their trousers. Then Jordan held one hand on Marie's waist and switched.

''We look good,'' Marie broke the silence, ''Very privileged,'' that did bring out a small chuckle out of Jordan. They made a mental note that Marie should never find out how easy it is for her to make them smile. Too much power.

''Yeah,'' now they had to look up a bit at her, ''Would you mind some redder lipstick?''

''I'm so smearing it all over you,'' Marie gave Jordan a chaste kiss and smiled. This is the best threat Jordan Li would ever face.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

When they pulled up to the restaurant, Marie got worried and glanced at Jordan, who was nervous the whole way here.

''Relax,'' Jordan sighed.

''You relax!'' Marie's defensiveness quickly faded and they both laughed.

Not a lot of things truly matter here, beside supporting Jordan and trying to have a nice evening. Marie already blended in once, she can to it again. And her and Jordan still can cling to each other, like they could not do yet back then.

Jordan's parents already waited in a far away booth. The restaurant itself was politely chattering. Every single person busy with their plate or partner at the table. Easy and calm. Marie squeezed Jordan's hand harder, mapping out options she could order here, eat and still hold up the conversation withour getting distracted.

The initial meeting went well. A burst of laughter and hands shaking, slightly awkward introducing each other another time. Everybody sat down and enjoyed a pause while the waiter was giving out the menus.

''So, Marie,'' Kayla started, looking at her child and their girlfriend over the menu, ''What was your first impression was of Jordan?''

''Did he try to kiss you too?'' Paul chimed in. It broke the softness of the first question.

''Well,'' Marie glanced at Jordan and smiled, watching them avert their eyes in embarassment, ''Jordan actually rejected me from a the course I wanted to do. And I was a fan,''

''Oh, that's a love story,'' Jordan's mom really seemed delighted by that, ''And let me guess, everything just fell into place?''

''Oh, yeah,'' Marie got a bit too excited for that answer, ''Jordan couldn't hate me for too long!''

''Even though it was very tempting,'' they remarked, allowing everybody at the table to see their smile.

''Did you hit him for that?'' Jordan's dad sounded a bit too giddy for this.

''No, I only hit people who make Jordan upset,'' Marie did her best to sound like she was joking. Her smile was polite despite Jordan trying stifle a laugh in the background.

The conversation moved towards the dishes and drinks. Some lies were spewed by Marie, like the one about drinking. She had enough beers already amongst friends and, apparently, drunk her head off at a party. She also lied about not having allergies, because frankly, she didn't know or remember. So she ordered a seafood pasta and supressed an urge to whisper to Jordan something along the lines of ''If I die, I'm sorry,''.

''We can switch,'' As if they read her mind, Jordan winked at Marie.

''I can certainly see what Jordan likes in you, Marie,'' Kayla said, taking the kids out of intimate haze.

''Yes, your actions speak for themselves,'' it sounded more wrong that it actually was, coming from Paul's mouth.

''There is a lot of us at God U. Next Guardian or Protector, whatever, is right around the corner. I just don't want anybody to get hurt,'' remembering the interview, Marie felt awful, gripping the side of her chair.

''I was fascinated by Marie's powers first, to be honest,'' Jordan straightened out, their fingers touched Marie's, ''Then, I had to come to an understanding that all of Marie is fascinating,'' they even sighed with dismay.

''To your absolute chagrin,'' Marie really hoped she used that random word she manage to remember right. She will get teased about it later.

''Just a little bit of chagrin,'' Jordan will never forget it.

''What do you like in Jordan?'' Paul asked. His and Jordan's whiskey glasses were identical.

''Oh, many things,'' Marie took a sip of her colorful icey-looking coctail. Nobody was sure it wasn't alcoholic, ''There isn't another Jordan, I think. No one can be that strong and resilient, but also loving and...,'' she had to take a breath, ''breathtaking, really. I like all of Jordan. Every single thing,''

There was silence. Kayla did bless Marie with an ''Aww'', but Jordan leaned in, kissing her cheek.

''You just HAD to outdo me on this,''

The food came and conversaiton flowed towards simpler things. Jordan did their best to stir it away from the topic of Marie's past. Marie, in turn, filled every opportunity for a story of Jordan's childhood to be repeated with her own anecdote about shenanigans at Godolkin. She even offered a memory with her sister, the one where her and Annabeth experimented with food as little kids, as a sacrifice to a nice evening. It kind of worked.

It was very hard to fight off offering of desert. Even with Marie's curiosity to try a fancy desert, between her pasta and Jordna's ravioli, they both were super stuffed. Kayla insisted on choosing something for them to take home, maybe eat in the morning and think of her and Paul. That struck a chord with Marie.

She tried to sort out her feelings during the evening. There was something stilted about the conversation, everybody hid some parts of them, but also really wanted to enjoy what they could show. The saddest part of it. Truth will come out behind closed doors, in half-lit rooms and with hushed voices.

''Thank you so much,'' Marie smiled and held Kayla's cold hands in hers, ''I would never thought to go here,'' she never would have known this place existed.

''Thank you, It was so great to meet you,'' The woman leaned in closer, ''I know I'm glad Jordan has someone to support him at God U,''

Marie nodded, still smiling. She glanced back at Jordan, who was talking about something with their dad. Everything seemed somewhat fine. Wishful thinking almost made Marie will Jordan to switch and for the dad to hug them in the form he's refusing to accept. But the boys shook hands and Jordan turned, noticing that Marie was looking.

''You are staring,'' they chuckled, swinging an arm around Marie's shoulders.

Paul's car got brought out first and after many almost hearfelt goodbyes, they left. Marie and Jordan stood in silence for a few minutes, huddling together for warmth.

''You mom has low blood pressure,''

''I'll let her know,''

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ***

The alarm clock showed 2:54 am. Only one lamp was lighting entirety of Jordan's room.

''That's it, I'm done,'' Marie abandonded the spoon next to the pistachio tiramisu and raised her hands. Giggling like a desert gremlin, Jordan took the rest of it for themselves.

''We probably should bring the macarons to Emma. And hide Emma,'' they remarked, taking another bite.

''Yeah. I should pay her at least in sweet stuff for her help. I still mostly use her make up,'' Marie nodded, glancing at the bag from the restaurant on the desk.

''You can use mine, you know,'' Jordan forgot about their tiramisu, the spoon softly touching their lips, ''Whatever suits you, I mean,''

''Let me guess,'' she moves closer and puts her head on their lap. After coming back, her and Jordan found their oldest and biggest hoodies to wear to bed, pants be gone, ''you have a really steady hand when it comes to stuff like eyeliner?''

''I have you know, I have a perfectly steady hand when it comes to everything,'' there wasn't another answer she could have expected from Jordan. They put their head on Marie's shoulder, their curls falling freely.

''Will you be able to sleep after this?'' Marie tapped the side of desert container.

''After knowing my parents are actually happy for me because of something beside of school? Barely,'' their hand found Marie's wrist.

''I meant the sugar and coffe,''

''Oh. there's barely any. I think,'' Jordan sat up straighter, looking at the container, as if it had the ingredient list, ''Lady fingers soaked in coffee, but cream is...''

''It's time to sleep, smartass,'' with a great effort, Marie dragged herself from the bed, took away the container, closed it and turned to Jordan, ready to bully them into cuddling.

But Jordan was already shuffling under the covers. Deciding not to say anything else, she turned off the lamp and climbed into the bed with them.

''I am smart and I do have a good ass,'' Jordan murmured, putting their head on Marie's shoulder. Her silent laugh made them smile too.

Sleep was sweet and sound untill Emma's distress signal came in few hours later.

[knollridge]

Long Day

Smosh

Damien x Reader

1,583 wordcount

Hello!! Second attempt at fic writing~ thank you so much for the love on my first one, I really appreciate it ❤️

No warnings, just absolute fluff involving a rough day that (y/n) is having and how Damien helps/comforts you through it in which I may or may not have heavily projected quarantined touch-starvedness through

Enjoy!!!

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Pressure builds in your head as you feel an onslaught of angry tears make their way to the front of your face.

Your skin is lit, as if by match-strike, with the dirty pink hue of heat and frustration.

Your whole body screams and you want to do the same.

But you can’t.

The toilet a few stalls down flushes and you hear the regular clicks, clatter, and rushing water of someone leaving the bathroom. Every part of your concentration goes towards suppressing what should have been a pleading and violent sob. Tears spill hotly down your flushed cheeks and you know that you’ll need more than the short period allotted for break to fix this.

But you don’t have that kind of time.

Your phone light burns just a bit too brightly on your stinging eyes as you search your screen. You have 4 minutes to pull it together. Feverishly pulling at the toilet paper roll you take immense notice of how loud the uneven cardboard cylinder makes every single turn, but choose - in an effort of timeliness and frustration - to ignore it.

2 minutes.

You grab eye drops out of your bag that Olivia thankfully gifted you last Smoshmas in an amazingly elaborate pun and dot them in each eye.

1 minute.

One last check in the mirror, and even though your eyeliner and mascara are gone, you have to call it good.

You briskly walk out of the bathroom and bump directly into Damien.

“Woah hey (y/n) I’m so sorry, I didn’t see you there.” He places an apologetic hand on your upper arm as his soft, brown eyes peer into yours.

“Hey, sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going” you mumble as you quickly cut the line between your shared gaze and turn to walk away from him.

“No worries! I wasn’t being as vigilant as I normally am, it’s been a long day already” he continues with a light sigh as he moves in to walk next to you. “Looks like its getting to you too, are you doing okay?”

Wanting to burst back into tears at the thought of anyone - much less Damien - noticing and caring about your emotional state, you keep focus on your footsteps and try to choose your words carefully. Right, left, right, left...

“Oh yeah I’m fine!!” your voice catches a small hitch as an upbeat persona takes over. “You’re right, it’s been a looong day hahah.” You turn your head towards him and flash a wide and almost believable smile with your eyes squinted closed so he can’t read them any further. Damien studies your expression, his thick brows coming together in question of your sincerity. A knot begins forming in your stomach as you realize he’s been looking at you without your makeup on. God, he knows. I mean, who loses their makeup halfway through the day?? It’s only a few more doors down to the conference room, I’m sure he’ll forget about it by the time we-

You don’t have time to react as Damien’s hand grips your forearm and pulls you into a small room and closes the door. You can’t see anything until you hear him flip a switch revealing a tight, three-walled room shelved from top to bottom with miscellaneous board games...and you and Damien, with standing room only, in the middle of it.

“Wai- what?” You let your arm drop away from his grasp, still feeling the weight from his hold on you. It knocks into a folding table topped with props directly behind you and as if for safety, you wrap both hands around the edge. “What are you doing? The meeting is going to start back up again soon and Ian is gonna be pissed if we show up late, especially if- if he...thinks we’re goofing off or something...” Your voice trails away as you see Damien move towards you. Leaning forward slightly, he rests a hand on the folding table, making the little space between you achingly overt. Eye-level with you now, he raises his head to look you full in the face.

“I don’t want you to worry about all that right now” he says in a low voice. “I want to make sure you’re actually okay.” Tears well up in your eyes and you immediately look down, causing them to spill to the floor. “Oh, (y/n)” Damien says in a hushed tone as he pulls you into a hug. “It’s alright, I know that meeting got really hectic.” You can’t help but to collapse into his shoulder. Each broken breath that you take feels cradled and cared for as his arms wrap tightly around you. You both stand for a minute, waiting for your sobs to subside while he lightly rubs his thumb in a circle on your back.

“I-I’m so sorry about this” you finally manage to say while wiping tears from your face. Damien loosens his embrace and places a hand back on the table, by your side.

“Don’t ever be sorry for feeling whatever it is you’re feeling. It’s like I always say, you should take 5 minutes each day to allow yourself space to just let it all out.” His gentle admonishment makes you feel more at home at Smosh than you’d felt all day. “I’m just sorry that those five minutes happened to be right now” he chuckles.

There’s something about his smile that brings on a small one of your own. “Oh gosh, I was already halfway there before you pulled me in here” you joke. “That meeting was supposed to be pretty big for me since they want me to do more with the scripts and stuff now...and it just seemed like everyone was talking over me and it was very loud and I really didn’t feel heard or understood...it was just a lot.” You think back on your initial reaction and realize you might have attributed a bit too much to the moment, but you see Damien nodding his head in understanding.

“Yeah, I noticed that you could barely get a word in and I was about to say something, but Ian called for a break and you ran out so fast, I was a little concerned.” Your mild surprise is clear on your face, and its almost as if Damien can read your mind. “You’re not as slick as you think you are (y/n)” he says with a growing grin. “First you rush off without saying anything to anyone, then you bump out of the bathroom and you won’t even make eye contact with me but I can still see that those pretty little wings that you do everyday are missing...I knew something was up.” You hope your slight embarrassment is covered by the subsiding red on your face from crying just moments ago, but you’re unable to keep a smile from appearing there as well. After feeling so invisible for most of the day, you can’t believe that he noticed as many of the little things that he did.

“You sound like a detective” you playfully scoff as you go to push his shoulder away. You end up resting your hold on his upper arm as you continue. “But...thank you...so much, for even bothering to check on me.” Your face is turned towards him, but your eyes fall to the details of his Jordans and your Converse in between words to keep focus on your train of thought. They’re so close together. “I definitely wouldn’t have made it through the rest of the meeting very well if you hadn’t. Thank you for making me feel at home.” Damien’s dark brows are tilted up towards the middle of his face, almost in confusion. He brings his hand to your upper arm as well, resting it right below your shoulder. You can feel his thumb just underneath the hem of your sleeve as he gently rubs it back and forth.

“Oh, (y/n)...that’s all I- that’s all we ever want for you. Any of us here. You’ve worked so hard and I know Ian was over the moon to bring you on as a writer...it really was just a weird and hectic start to the meeting.” You can barely fight back a new wave of tears and have to wipe a few stray ones away before they reach the ever-growing smile rising on your face. “Oh man, here you go again,” Damien teases. You let out a short laugh and try to gather yourself with tissues from your bag.

“I can’t go again! We don’t have anymore time!” You say contently, and slightly stuffed up. He can’t keep his eyes off your newfound happiness in the moment, but still takes the opportunity to rag on the situation a bit more.

“We never had any time (y/n)!” His eyes follow your smile as you laugh in agreement. “But I’m glad we made some because you deserve it. What do you say we go into that meeting and knock ‘em all out with your killer scripts?” You gratefully pick up an impression of confidence from his words and nod your head. “After you then” he says with a graceful twirl of his hand towards the door.

Your hand placed on the knob, you take a deep and thankful breath knowing that Damien has your back going into this meeting. You turn it open and can’t wait to begin sharing what you’ve created with the rest of your Smosh family.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

List of my Charmed fic prompts Part 1

I am constantly sharing prompts and ideas between the discord server and here on my blog, but I thought I would try to consolidate the ones from the discord server on here. I might have shared some of these on as a post before. Don't hate, i am just trying to have them all in one place. Most of these are Hacy leaning but some could have lots of other possibilities.

#1 Out of the Mouths of Babes

One of the sisters is able to decode a wisdom spell in the Book of Elders. Instead of making them wiser or revealing anything to them the spell brings younger manifestations of themselves to them which they have to learn from.

From a Hacy standpoint: a young manifestation of Macy wanting to trust Harry possibly sharing some embarrassing long-forgotten factoid about Macy (like maybe at some point she did dream up a “perfect person” for her and Harry matches. Little Macy doesn’t have to have a crush on Harry, but somehow shares that information and everyone else exchanging knowing glances while Harry and Macy are awkward as ever. Maybe even some little Macy and Harry conversation with little Macy where she points out that Harry takes good care of her and asks harry to promise to stay with her (big Macy) (thank you @all-things-hacy in the discord)

If focusing on what the sisters have to learn. You could go personal or sisterhood wise.

Having the little one's bond and escape trying to hide from their “kidnappers” while demons and the power of four try to track them down. Showing them that they do have a sisterhood and as long as they stick together “powers of no powers” “little or not” they can survive. 

example convo:

Macy: Maybe we should have stayed. They didn’t seem bad or like they were going to hurt us? We don’t know where we are or how to get back to our homes. Unless we go to the police and ...

Mel: I’ve got this under control! And NO WAY should we have stuck around those people. There is something wrong with that guy!

Macy: I thought he seemed nice enough. . .

Maggie: Yah he got me Juice!

Mel: Just because someone brings you juice doesn’t make them nice Margarita!

If you want to focus on the personal, Little Mel being the leader planning the escape and showing Big Mel that her strength isn’t in her powers but her desire to protect others. 

I could see little maggie teaching big maggie that growing up does mean letting go of somethings but holding on to what makes you you. Like I could see everyone making comments about her not having changed much when comparing her to her younger self. I could see maggie maybe even be a little annoyed or cynical with her younger self. Jordan commenting how she and her little “cousin” are so much alike down to the personality. 

There is more elaboration on this prompt and different routes it could take in the discord server 11/06/19

#2 Child Troubles

So this actually was a piggyback off of a prompt by Sticks in the discord server. Sticks submitted: Macy and Harry travel to the future and meet a kid that recognizes them as thier parents. cue akwardness.

I added: Wouldn’t it be cool if in the future Macy and Harry’s child was kidnapped. But the culprit has it set up that the child is hidden from them specifically (like the ones who gave the child life cannot find them or something more creative and clever for the writing sort). The power of Three cast a spell that is revealed to them or that they think will work. What it ends up doing is bringing Macy and Harry (present) to the future (because they haven’t actually given life to the kid yet) and they end up saving the child, but never actually meet thier future selves. Like cute akwardness when the child they saved calls them  mom and dad and they hear thier future selves call out to the child but they are sucked back into the present before actually seeing. But they both recognized the voices and now have to avoid each others gazed as Mel and Maggie ask what the heck happened.

#3 The Future, Maybe?

I think a fic similar to a Christmas Wish by @evehhr in that there is ambiguity about what exactly the situation is. Both Harry and Macy wake up in a safe house somewhere (they assume it is a safe house) only they aren’t alone. They have a newborn with them and they realize they are supposedly married. They realize that they are in the middle of some sort of conflict and have gone into hiding, but they have no idea what is going on or the extent to which their hiding has to be. So one hand, mystery and trying to piece together the threat, but the potential fluff, comedy, and awkwardness of trying to take care of a newborn.

Convo example:

Baby is crying furiously because of a noise Harry accidentally made.

Macy: *sleep-deprived and part delirious* You did this Har, you fix it!”

Harry: *equally sleep-deprived and delirious* Did what!?!? Fix what!?!

Macy:  The Baby!!!

Harry: One would assume that was a joint effort...

Macy: I meant the baby’s crying . . .

Harry: oh....

Potential angst should the enemy located them. Or potential angst at harry worried if he would actually be a good father and being afraid of letting the baby and Macy down or hurting them both (after what he learned in his mind-meld with Abby). Him absolutely believing it couldn’t be the future because no way would Macy have married him. And if she did then it must be because he never told her about what he learned about his past. So he is determined to self-sabotage and tell her about it even though part of him is sad to think he is not ensuring none of this will ever happen, but he does want her to know the truth.

angsty awkwardness and part fluff with Macy telling Harry he is a different person and a good father.

Example convo:

Macy: Harry you are going to be a great father and husband.

sweet looks until they realize the connotation of what she just said

Macy: *panicked backpedaling* I mean if you want to be one again! You are a good dad right now when we are taking care of the baby, and so I mean in the future ... Not this future! not that this is the future. I mean in whatever future with whomever!

[panticwritten]

I’m gonna do a thing where I post small bits of a scene I’m working on in little bits on this post because I’m a little restless right now and I want to share what I have even though I’m not done yet. It’s from the ‘alternate’ roommates au, in which Connor and Sawyer became roommates by chance and that’s how they met.

It’s less slice of life slowburn and more angsty slowburn, so take that as you will.

This is missing a lot of context and I haven’t actually written the thing with the party that they’ll be talking about later but this is more pressing to get out of my head for some reason. It’ll probably be a little different when I actually finish it and get it on AO3.

I’ll add content warnings at the beginning of each update.

This part just has recreational drug use. Blaze it, y’all.

(tag list: @fandomloverangel @jade-island-lives @cadewrites @asinwolves @authorarsinoe @ramblingsofabourbondrinker @the-real-rg @ishanijasmin @samueldeckerthompson @alextriestowritestuff @spirit-wizard-nerd Let me know if you want to be added!)

---

Sawyer sat sprawled out on their back on the roof. 

It had been hot, so with my window open I could hear them mumbling to themself. The light from my room cast enough light to hit the puff of their hair against the backdrop of Portland at dusk. Their head was turned away from my window and into that darkness beyond the roof.

I’d been wondering where they disappeared to in the night, the times they just turned to smoke the second it turned dark. The top of a fixed ladder was evidence enough, an easy escape they could get to from their own bedroom.

I didn’t know why they didn’t just use the door, not then.

They’d been doing that less often, though, in the past couple weeks. Then again, I hadn’t really seen much of them at all in a few weeks. Since the party. Since Rachel’s birthday.

I couldn’t quite understand what they were saying, but it had that one sided sound of a phone call. No glow, though, and their arms were flung out on either side of them.

I was supposed to be doing work, focus.

I hunched back over the case study I’d been agonizing over. I still had three more to go over before class on Wednesday. I just couldn’t seem to get it to stay in my head.

I got half a page of notes for four pages of the thing before I jammed the heels of my hands into my eye sockets and stretched. There was no way I’d get much more done that night. The case studies were all I had left to do for the week and I still hand two days to do them, so it couldn’t hurt to take a break, right?

“Hey.”

I jolted hard enough to make my eyes actually hurt under the pressure. My chair rolled a little from my desk and when I opened my eyes I found Sawyer’s slightly blurry face on the other side of my window screen.

Silence sat for a second, them half in the light from my room and half in shadow and me tense and pressed into the back of my chair. They rocked back onto their heels, turned back into a looming shadow. I melted down into a puddle and my voice was a little stilted when I answered.

“Yeah?” 

“Dominic left me with some weed earlier.” They held something up even though their hands were in the dark. “Wanna come out and smoke with me?”

On one hand, I didn’t think they would have reason to think I smoked. I’d never talked about it with them and I honestly didn’t know they did. On the other, they spent a lot of time with Jordan and he absolutely knew. I could also see him telling them about it.

So, that’s how I ended up on the outcropping of roof shared by our bedroom windows. The rest of the building rose up behind us, connected to others along the block, but this was our own little space for now. Unless someone took the trouble to climb that ladder, it would be just us and the ambient sound of Portland.

They messed with their phone after we passed the cheap pipe their friend loaned them back and forth a couple times. I just looked out into the city and kind of zoned out for a little bit.

“He wants to get out of student housing,” they said after a while, smoke on their breath. Nick, I assume? “I told him I’d check with you about that extra room.”

I tipped my head back and lolled it to the side rather than turning to face them like a normal person. “Y’ should be asking Kane, shouldn’t you?”

“Don’t really need to.” They shrugged and held the pipe out. I didn’t take it, though, so they reached back through their window to drop it on the sill. “I’ve been friends with the guy forever, s’far as Kane’s concerned he’s as much Dominic’s uncle as he is mine.”

“Nick’s chill.” I didn’t elaborate. I probably should have. 

I lifted my head to look at the skyline again. It would probably have been more impressive if we were higher up or closer to downtown, but it was still a night view of a city. I’d lived in Portland too long to be all awed, or whatever. It was nice to just stop for a little bit.

[thatsabae]

Payback - Jungkook | Chapter 4

genre: romance/comedy/friends-to-lovers

summary: “Revenge is sweet”, that’s what they say, and your plan is to find out if that statement is true. After finding out about your boyfriend’s infidelity, you seek after his lover’s boyfriend, cause mama always told you that sweets are better when shared. But first, you need to convince him to join you.

prologue | chapter 1 | chapter 2 | chapter 3 | chapter 4 | chapter 5 | chapter 6 | chapter 7 | chapter 8 | chapter 9 | chapter 10 | chapter 11 | final

Jungkook: Can we talk rn? [received: 06:23 p.m.]

Y/N: Sure! Something is up? [sent: 06:24 p.m. / read: -]

Right after you press “send”, you were surprised by his call. It was not the first time you were talking to each by a phone call, but it was not something common too. And certainly not unexpected.  

“Hey. I thought you meant texting.” You laugh. “Is everything alright?” Worry got over you.

“Oh, sorry. Are you busy?” Jungkook made you smile. “What is this noise? I can call you later…” 

“Not busy, I just left the office. I’m waiting for my ride.” You sighed, knowing it would take a while until you could get home. “What’s the occasion?” 

His laugh echoing is enough to make you feel warm. Since the beginning of your plan, Jungkook and you became friends. To be honest, you doubt that if weren’t for these “special” circumstances, you would never be friends with a guy like him. At least something good from this horrible situation. 

“It’s just that… Calli is coming, in like, maybe twenty minutes, and I thought we could mess with her a little bit”. 

You bite your lip. The boy was learning fast. 

“Sure, but, care to explain your plan and how can I help it?” 

“I won’t stop talking with you when she arrives. I hope that it bothers her.” He confesses. 

You thought a little about it. 

“Jungkook, I have an idea.” You hold back your laughter. “When she arrives, you keep talking with me, then when you see she’s completely frustrated, you finish the call and tells her you will be taking a shower. But…” You keep the best part for the end. “You take your cellphone with you, and, will she sleep there?”. 

“Yes. Why?” 

This time you can’t hold your laugh. He’s so innocent. 

“Because she will be curious. And if you don’t let her touch your cellphone this evening, she will be so pissed to the point of even calling me. I’m sure that I will receive a call before tomorrow ends. Please, delete my contact so she will have no idea who she’ll be calling”. 

“I just wanted to make her frustrated. This seems too elaborated. Are you sure this all will happen?”

“Of course I am. Do you forget I’m also a woman?” You roll your eyes, knowing he’s not seeing it. “Oh my God. I’m adding you on Facebook right now”. 

“Didn’t we agree it would be better if we did not? Less suspicious?” 

“She will probably ask my name when she calls, if we have each other on Facebook, it will frustrate her even more! Don’t worry if I like all your pics too.” 

You both laugh and then there’s a silence for a moment, and it makes you feel anxious like something should be said. 

“Should we plan our next step while we wait?” 

“Yeah.” You answer quickly, still anxious. “Totally. Any idea?” 

“Not really, but Jordan must be in it, too. How can we be sure she’s telling him her worries?” 

“What if we all went to a party, and somehow, we meet up? Coincidences do not exist at all” 

“That’s a nice…” You can hear Jungkook’s breathing. “She’s here.” He whispers. 

“Okay. I’m also here. Let’s keep talking like before. Get calm and act.” You can’t blame him for being nervous. You were too and wasn’t even there. 

You mute your cell while a car is passing and honking. Suddenly you hope your brother to not arrive so soon.

“Is she inside already?” You ask very softly. 

“Yeah.” You hear a few noises. “Hey, Calli. Just a second and I will end it”. 

You can help to laugh. Jordan always did it to you, ignoring you while talking on his phone. Nothing is more frustrating than it. 

“So, what should we talk about?” 

“When is that thing you were talking about before?” You get the hint. 

“The party? I don’t know of any. What about you?” 

“I think is this Friday, at Seokjin’s house. You remember him, right?” Wrong, you thought. “If you’re up to… We could go together.” 

Oh no. 

“I know that a house party would be perfect for our plan, Jungkook, but I can’t go to your friend’s house. How will I explain that I know him to Jordan? Or even, how can I get in?” 

When he chuckles, you realize his plan. 

“Oh. Oh. You’re so mean. A crime genius.” You whisper. “ That’s your idea, right? Them wondering how I knew it?” 

“This could work for you?” You understand what he meant again. 

“Your plans are way better than mines. I envy that.” Your lips form a pout. “And I’m glad you joined me”. 

This could go perfectly. Jordan would be dying to know how you knew about the party if you’re not friends with Seokjin, Calli would be confused too. All his friends would have to do was tell that they knew you because of Jungkook and everything would start to go down. Like you wanted. 

“What can I do? This could be great for us.” He sighs. “Calli, wait for a second, I’m talking here”. 

“She is already curious?” You’re surprised. “I would wait a little bit more before questioning”. 

“Yes, I also thought that”. 

You both laugh, and you can’t feel bad for her. She probably laughed more when with Jordan. At least you both were not cheating. 

“We just need to make sure that your friend will tell them the right things”. 

“What do you mean by that?” 

“I mean, if somehow he ends up chatting with Jordan, or if Calli questions him why I was invited. We need to use that in our favor”. 

“Why don’t we talk about the details tomorrow at lunch?” 

You barely had time for your lunch today, it would be an impossible task leaving for such a distant place. 

“I can’t at lunch. Can it be later?” 

“Look, I’ll take a shower now, I’ll text you later”. 

After saying goodbye to you, Jungkook had to hold back his smile so Calli wouldn’t notice it. He was enjoying this more than he thought he would. 

When you talked to him, all he thought was exposing them and leaving Calli, but now… This was way better. 

“Babe, I’ll take a quick shower, okay?” 

“Who was that?”

“Who?” He asks, trying to sound silly. “At the call? A new colleague at work. I wanted to be friendly in the name of all the department and since Seokjin will be throwing a party…”

“Party?” 

Jungkook tried to look guilty. 

“Did I forgot to tell you? Oh babe, sorry. You can come, right?” Jungkook asks her, before entering the bathroom.

Calli only nods. 

“Great. I won’t take long.” And he closes the door and turns the shower on.

 Jungkook: She’s mad [received: 18:39 p.m.] 

You smile reading that message. It would only take time until Calli called to whoever Jungkook was talking before. 

You hear a hunk, and there’s your brother waiting for you. Then an idea comes to your mind. 

“Hey, wanna go to a party?” You ask, before even closing the door again. 

“Sure. When?” 

That same night, you proved you were right. She called you at 1:43 a.m. exactly, and before you realized what was going on and that you didn’t recognize the caller, you already answered, sleepy. 

“Who’s there?”

That’s when you look at those strange numbers and your sleepiness is gone. 

“You’re the one calling. I should be the one asking”. 

“I think I typed the wrong number. I was trying to call my boyfriend”. 

“It’s really late, you shouldn’t wake people at this hour. If you don’t work, you should know that I do”. 

You should receive another Oscar, not only the one you deserve from the acting at the restaurant. 

“Sorry.” You can feel she’s wondering if she can ask something else. “Do you work at Emes Publishing House?” 

You wait, trying to seem suspicious. 

“Where did you get my number?” 

That’s the last you can say before she ends the call. You were so right. 

Jungkook: So? [received: 9:07 a.m.]

Y/N: What? [sent: 9:10 a.m. / read: 9:11 a.m.]

Jungkook: Any news? [received: 9:11 a.m.]

Y/N: I was right, of course. She called me two in the morning [sent: 9:12 a.m. / read: 9:12 a.m.]

Jungkook: **laughing faces** [received: 9:12 a.m.]

Jungkook: Can I pick you up today? We can talk about the details after work. [received: 2:56 p.m.]

Y/N: I’ll text you my work’s address. See you later. [sent: 3:02 p.m. / read: -]

[krixwell-liveblogs]

Check out this post. Wildbow talks about his life on reddit. This explains so much about Taylor’s school experience. No Worm spoilers

This sounds interesting. I’ve frequently wondered about how Wildbow’s life shaped this story.

Let’s take a look.

Redditors who have opted out of a standard approach to life (study then full time work, mortgage etc), please share your stories. What are the best and worst things about your lifestyle, and do you have any regrets?

Well, the title is already intriguing.

Hermit writer here.

Born hard of hearing, went to a regular school. Struggled in middle school. Struggled in high school. Kids who were in my class in kindergarten were in my classes all the way through to grade ten, with the elementary/middle school and high school being a stone's throw from one another.

I kind of knew about the hard of hearing bit already. I can’t find the ask that told me about it, though (it was probably before I stopped using screenshots for asks).

So far this sounds relatively normal, except for that part. But I’m guessing he’s going to elaborate a bit on the struggles surrounding his school life and hearing problems?

In grade 10, after years of bullying and a peer group that had established who was 'in' and who was 'out' when I was knee-high, tired of struggling, I was walking down the halls and I found myself wondering when the last time I'd even opened my mouth in school was.

Oh wow.

I stopped dead in my tracks, just paralyzed by loneliness. I asked myself what the point was, couldn't come up with an answer, resumed walking, went out the side door of the school and went home.

This clearly parallels a few of the last times we saw Taylor at Winslow High.

The start of me just not going to school for that entire year. Nobody noticed.

Damn. He really did write all that from experience. It took a while for Taylor’s absence to get noted, too.

Taylor’s absence getting noted at all actually seems like a fantasy compared to this.

I got caught at the end of the year, did the same thing the next year, got caught only at the end.

What the hell sort of attendance routines did this school have? Clearly not good ones.

Ended up going to an Alternative school (Self study), proved to myself that I had it in me when I got 3 years of studying done in 8 months, won two awards... and then had to go back to my old school for what was essentially grade 13, where I struggled.

Huh. Well done.

People learn in very different ways. Some people can do this much more effectively than learning in a group. Some people are like me and can’t make themselves keep up the effort required to self study, or learn better from lectures than reading.

Some people learn by observing their surroundings while flying.

I worked retail and found it fine. But family wanted me to go to University and figure myself out.

I’m currently working retail, taking a break from the educational system and buying time to figure out what to study.

I went to University and I struggled.

Guys, I’m sensing a theme here.

I spent a long, long time trying to figure out why I struggled, why I was tired all the time, and it took a kind of confluence of events before I realized what should've been obvious. I found the social stuff hard and I was exhausted after a day of listening because I'm severely to profoundly deaf.

Oh yeah, that makes a ton of sense. It’s like how focusing is exhausting when you have trouble doing that, how reading without glasses you need tires out your eyes and brain, etc.

Honestly, it’s a little surprising that I haven’t (explicitly) met a hard of hearing character in Worm yet. Maybe later? Oh wait, there was that deaf waitress at the villain pub in Hive.

Beyond that, the 'path' just isn't for me. The systems and institutions just grind me down. The idea of a 9 to 5 is death to me. These things are built and streamlined for the average person, and between disability and a fairly extreme degree of introversion, I'm far from that average.

That is very fair. There’s definitely a brand of ableism in that system.

In the end, I stepped off the path. I'd been writing a thing online as a side project and the reception was good, so I decided to leave school earlier than planned, use the savings I had, stretch things as far as I could, and work when I could (with a family friend when he needed the help and had the cash to spare, doing some landscaping, drywall installation, house painting, all prepping houses for sale in a boom market) to stretch things further.

This would be too early for that thing online to be Worm, right?

It just occurred to me that I have no idea how old Wildbow is.

And I wrote as seriously as I could while people close to me told me that I didn't deserve to 'get lucky' and have the writing work out because I hadn't seen University all the way through, or openly expressed doubts and disappointments.

Yikes.

Fuck that noise. Writing is tons of effort!

But you know, it worked out in the end. I wrote the equivalent of 20 books in 2.4 years, wrote another 10 for my next series in the ensuing 1.2 years, and I've kept up a similar pace over the last 7 years and two months.

Especially when you’re this coddamn productive!

That’s 8.33 books a year!

I started writing mid- 2011, left school at the start of 2012, went full-time-paying-the-bills in 2014 with an income around minimum wage. I moved to a small town (no car, nothing fancy) that same year. I'm now closer to the average Canadian wage. It's been two chapters a week (2.5 if crowdfunding money is enough) since the beginning.

Oh, I suppose that means it would be Worm after all.

When was this written... huh, yesterday? Well, that explains why this hasn’t been sent to me before.

Writing being Wildbow’s only/main income makes me feel even more right about my decision to set things up so that some of the money from my Patreon goes to Wildbow. It’s not that big a portion of his income (apparently average Canadian wage is 986 CAD or 755 USD per week, and I chip in with about 3.26 CAD or 2.50 USD per week), but it’s something.

My reality: I can go a week or two without really talking to anyone that isn't a cashier.

Sounds a bit lonely in the long run, but as a fellow introvert (or maybe I’m an ambivert, in the systems where that’s actually a thing), I get it - it also does sound pretty good. Especially if you’ve got internet people to casually interact with at your own leisure.

Every two months or so I go to a relative's to dogsit while they're on vacation or to see someone for their birthday, and that gives me most of my fill of socialization and companionship.

Nice!

I don't have a car, so it's usually walking or taking the train to another city, and using public transpo there. I subsisted on a rice and beans diet for a good stretch, one $15 video game bought in a year, and my level of expenses hasn't really risen that much from that point. I eat better and buy a couple more things, but nothing major.

So I guess this would be somewhere between average and reserved?

I don’t know. Being Norwegian spoils me on these things.

60%+ of what I earn goes to savings, which gives me security when my income could fluctuate or disappear at any time.

Oh, that’s smart. I suppose writing would be a bit of a risky business, what with writer’s block, audience fluctuations, sudden drops in popularity because something you wrote didn’t go over as well as you thought it would, etc.

My schedule is entirely my own, which usually amounts to 2.5 15+ hour workdays a week and another 5-10 hours a week spent managing community, finances, and exchanging emails with tv/movie studios, publishers or startups.

I was going to talk about the long but few workdays, but tv/movie studios excuse me what

Is a TV series version of something Wildbow wrote (Worm or otherwise) a serious possibility right now?? :o

Best things - I love what I do. I love creating, I love my reader's tears, I love my readers being horrified.

This is really important. You gotta enjoy what you do.

I get to make monsters and be surprised by what my characters do. Many of my fans are just the absolute coolest people - people I'm now insanely glad to have met and include in my life. There's amazing fanart of my work out there, music, people have gotten tattoos. Tattoos. That's insane.

People have permanently, painfully painted their appreciation of your work into their bodies, Wildbow!

The bad- I'm an online content creator, and it's impossible to convey just how toxic the toxic elements of a fandom can get and how negative the negative aspects can get, and how much it can affect you.

That is true. There will always be a toxic side, and I can imagine works like Worm would attract a lot of the edgy sort.

I've seen 20 online content creators either break down or remark on the effect it has, and it's wholly accurate- and my audience isn't even ~that~ large.

Yeah, it doesn’t take that many people to start brewing fandom sides like this.

This is multiplied by the fact that writing is lonely as a profession (I know too many writers who can't even talk to their life partners about their work) and it can be hard to find perspective or balance as you take it all in, when you don't have people to communicate with.

Robert Jordan used his wife as a beta reader or editor of sorts. She was there to tell him when something he wrote didn’t quite come across, to make up for the fact that he couldn’t tell. After all, he knew what he meant by that one line.

On a similar note, some casual dating would be nice, and living in a small town for economical reasons doesn't leave me with a large dating pool, and at this point I'm not even sure if I could or should inflict myself on someone.

Oof.

There are way too many people who think like that. I hope you find happiness with someone who sees you for the good bean you are, Wildbow.

I'm healthy, groomed, I can hold a conversation, I'm just pretty set in my introverted ways.

...relatable, though.

But still, I’m pretty sure there are people out there for us, who not only tolerate but appreciate the introvert lifestyle.

Hell, both of my crushes have been very introverted, even compared to myself, so I know those people exist because I’m among them.

On another, less social note, there is the fact that as an online content creator, you can't really take breaks. Or you can, but it costs. Consistency and frequency of updates are god, and a hiatus is a death knell.

No wonder he criticized me on this that one time. In his situation, it matters a lot.

I don't even know what an effective vacation would entail, because I feel like finding my stride again would cost more than I gained from having the break. So it's been seven years and two months without a vacation, writing a short book every month.

Damn.

You deserve so many props, Wildbow.

...at some point here I started talking to Wildbow, just like I do to Taylor and other Worm characters. Well, at least this time there’s actually a chance he’s going to read this sometime, if he hasn’t dropped my blog.

I just hope he doesn’t think it’s weird that I’m liveblogging his life story.

It makes for a very strange sort of burnout, when I love it so much, I can still regularly put out some great work to acclaim and praise, but am nonetheless worn down around the edges.

That does not sound healthy.

No regrets. This is me. This is what I'm built for.

As long as you feel it’s right for you, this is good. :)

I could do with less negativity from some fans and getting regular good nights of sleep (the deafness comes with insomnia by way of terminal tinnitus), but both of those just come with the territory.

Ouch.

I feel you on the sleep front (ADD has its ways of messing with your ability to fall asleep too), but tinnitus sounds like a particularly annoying way to be inflicted with it.

I've been telling family for the last year that I'll move to a city with more going on than (as my elderly neighbor phrased it) drinking and meth, where there's classes to take, a possible dating pool, and/or activities that could break me out of my hermit shell... but my current apartment is amazing and cheap, with the nicest landlords ever. It's just in a do-nothing town. I haven't found anything remotely competitive, even taking 'cheap' off the table.

I’ve lived in small-ish towns all my life. It’s pretty nice, especially as an introvert.

So that's where I'm at.

Thank you, Wildbow. This was an interesting read. I feel like I know you a bit better now. :)

(Again, if you’re reading this, I hope it wasn’t too weird to see me liveblogging this.)

[migleefulmoments]

Wow, the tinhats are on fire today. Bitching about it being disrespectful to have their sexuality defined for them (hypocrite, much?), actually saying Darren STATED ON RECORD that he was gay (wut, then why does he need a beard?), reading the minds of Darren's parents, apparently have direct access to Darren, Mia and Ben's bank statements to know how much money they have. These Emmys have really given them a fright and rattled their cages LMFAO.

I literally just wrote a post tagging them about that ridiculous post calling out someone for saying she is straight when she considers herself pan.  Whatever dude.  Getting angry over an anon calling you straight is f’ing pathetic when 1. you are nobody and there is no reason for anybody to give a shit about your sexuality and 2. you aren’t actually talking about your sexuality-pan or otherwise- on your blog. I mean if you had a blog that was about your sexuality then your sexuality should be respected but bitching because someone didn’t check your bio to see if you felt the need to proclaim your sexuality before posting about CC is pathetic.  Franky, I don’t fucking care who anybody except my husband sleeps with. I certainly wouldn’t feel the need to check a Tumblr bio to ascertain the sexuality of the owner of a blog whose sole reason for existence is to discount everything Darren says about himself, his sexuality, his love and to criticize every move he makes while blaming it on an elusive and every-expanding contract, the evil players in Hollywood, his inept yet all-controlling manager and the evil beard he hates but who controls his life simply to torture him and “get promotion”.   Oh, and she also exists to cyberbully Mia, a woman that she is so jealous of she spends her days creating and perpetuating lies to make herself feel better about her pea green envy of Mia. 

Basically the Emmy’s showed the world that Darren is deeply in love with and ridiculously smitten with Mia Swier.  It is really hard to defend your mantra that Chris is “captain of this ship” and supporting Darren with all his might because they have a LOVE for the ages and are in the fight of their lives against the evil of Hollywood when Darren wears his heart on his sleeve and declares his love so freely.  So let’s dissect their lies:

1. Did Darren state on Record that he was gay?  Well if he did it was in one poorly recorded livestream while telling a joke and he was off camera. He HAS actually stated with his mouth, while on camera, in clear language, and in written article after article, that he is straight.  He has elaborated on what it is like to play gay while being straight and he has talked about representation over and over. He has also said- out of his mouth, while on camera- that he is engaged to and loves Mia.  Back to the declaration “I’m gay”. Jordan Roth was Parascoping from an event viewing (Emmys?) and a bunch of guys were standing around. A pic of Taylor Swift in a bathtub had just broke the internet and he made a joke about it. Darren off camera makes a joke like “I see that everyday” and then something garbled is said amongst the laughing and over talking. CCers claim Darren says “but I’m gay” which seems odd that he would declare such a thing in that context, on a livestream. It isn’t a natural response to having just said you see “that sort of thing all the time” and WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE OUT HIMSELF LIKE THAT ON a LIVESTREAM?  Also I have listened to that audio a hundred times and I don’t hear “I’m gay”.  Oh, and Jordan doesn’t respond in the way one would if a closeted friend just screwed up and outed themselves. CCers hang on to that moment like it is a defining CC moment while disregarding and denying all of the times Darren has said he is straight and all the behavior that proves he is with in fact, the fiancee of a woman named Mia

2. Darren’s parents. I posted earlier that I believe the pics are “proof” that Charles doesn’t love or respect Cerina or Darren- he’s walking in front of them after all. He’s also reading his phone- another sign that means he doesn’t actually love or respect those he is with. NOBODY walks in front of someone they love and respect and NOBODY ever looks at their phone when they are with someone they care about and a picture isn’t a snapshot of 0.01 seconds of someone’s life...it is an entire story for strangers to dissect. The pics are are a “stunt” and not at all indicative that the group is annoyed that Paps are literally walking backwards in front of them snapping pictures. Nope they are statements about the disgust the person walking in front carries for the other members of the group. At least THAT is how Tinhatters have seen it every time pap pics of Darren and Mia are released and he’s in front of her or on his phone so it must apply here as well, right? 

3. There was also an argument that Cerina and Charles are pulling stunts,  pretending to be  “one big happy family” because “they love their child so much they would do anything”.  That isn’t how parental love works. Bad behavior, lies, and deception are not OK simply because you do it out of love.  I love my children to death but I would never outright deceive the world by literally participating in “stunts” over and over where I was putting on a performance that was counter to everyone’s best interest. I wouldn’t consider it “supporting my child” by doing anything that kept them in the closet or forcing them to lie over and over or colluding with them to pretend they are engaged to someone they hated. Ethics and morals still matter and doing what is right matters and supporting the good things-not the bad things- in our kids’ lives matter. But the CCers pretend that love matters more than anything...as long as it is about love then nothing else matters.  That is the Disney-princess version of life and love.  It doesn’t hold up in reality. 

4. Speaking of Makes No Sense... The idea that every time Mia is talked about, mentioned, in a photo or standing near Darren he is promoting her. WTF? “Promotion”.  Mia doesn’t even have social media...she isn’t promoting herself. Darren isn’t promoting her.  Stop being so f’ing jealous of her CCers.  It doesn’t look good on you.  

5. Ben...oh lord Ben.  That whole trope is entirely made up.  Ben might have stayed with them long ago but I follow him in IG and he is rarely in LA and never for more than a few nights. There is nothing to suggest he is even staying with them anymore.  Mia and Ben are clearly friends and Mia and Darren both  openly share their lives with her friends. Mia wearing Ben’s hat means absolutely nothing and Ben’s arm around Mia at an IHeartRadio event means they are friends and Ben supporting the bar means it is a fun place to hang out and he likes them.  Nothing more.  The whole story about them in bed and taking pictures on Valentine’s day 1854 is so pathetic and contrived... I just can't. Every time the CCers stomp their feet and yell “Ben Ben Ben HOW CAN YOU IGNORE BEN” I think of Trump and his pathetic attempts to prove that Mueller is a witch hunt...or Tucker Carlson and Laura Ingraham claiming they aren’t racist. It is just as desperate. 

There are a lot of comments today- made by single woman- about what a healthy relationship should look like. There is nothing about Ben and Mia and Darren except desperate CCers trying discount Darren and Mia’s engagement.  Hell, maybe both Darren and Mia are sleeping with Ben....a throuple if you will.  It doesn’t matter if they are because IT ISN’T ANY OF OUR BUSINESS.  Having been in a relationship for *cough *cough 24+ years with the same man, I can say that there is nothing about Mia and Darren- including Ben- that makes me think it isn't a healthy relationship. Long term relationships are hard work..not the stuff of Disney princess love and CC BS.  If Ben stays with them when he is in town, who cares? He is in town so little. I can imagine staying in hotels gets old and staying with friends whose home is filled with music and singing has to be a joy. 

I agree with you, the Emmys rattled the CC family... big time.  It is hard to ignore the look Darren gave her as he declared her “my darling Mia” and said the most romantic thing I have heard a man use to proclaim to his love ...well, EVER. It is hard posting the same pics of Darren and Chris talking on stage over and over and over and over and pretend that means they are in love or that it wasn’t 10 years ago. They have sunk to arguing that when we watch Glee we aren’t seeing Klaine on screen but rather that is CrissColfer and they aren’t acting..they are in love in RL.  Um, dude NO, those were characters. They were reading lines written for them by writers. They were following stage direction and hitting marks.  After the Emmys, the CCers were left analyzing WHERE Darren and Mia’s noses touched because their kiss during the excitement of hearing his name announced wasn’t perfectly coordinated.  Darren’s aim was a little off -apparently- they bumped noses and that proves they don’t kiss often. I MEAN THAT IS IRREFUTABLE PROOF THEY ARE FAKE.  There was also a proclamation that clearly Mia practiced on objects and other people so she could grab Darren’s face and plant one on him after his name was announced.  Making that kind of shit up is the epitome of desperation. They are running scared. Their entire fandom is based on lies, anger, hate and criticizing people who don’t care about them. So when it falls apart, there is no reason to be a CC Family. Their international friendships which are glued together by their hatred and envy of Mia, ceases to have a reason to exist. When it all falls apart, they have no reason to be so sanctimonious or self righteous and they cease to be internet “famous” as they have labeled themselves.  If they aren’t fighting for Darren’s very soul, they don’t matter. That just sucks. Of course I watch them double down on “how will NEVER marry her” and I know they are setting themselves up for a big fall...it’s a train wreck happening in slow motion. Of course he will marry her. He has said so publicly several times. Their friends congratulated them and showered them with love-ya know, people who actually know them.  I know the CC family will have a few days of anger and then they will regroup and talk about how getting married to one’s beard is the new “breaking up with one’s beard” and that Chris was supporting Darren with everything he had. They will hate the beautiful wedding song Darren and performs for Mia and then they will claim it was really a secret message for them-the people who are really listening- to proclaim his undying love for Chris. Chris will continue to ignore Darren and while most of Hollywood sends Darren and Mia love, the CCers will claim that the ONLY reason Chris wouldn’t send a social media post to Darren is because he contractually can’t. That alone is telling...there is NO other reason he would ignore Darren... I mean, that is the only thing that makes sense, right? 

[wickedgamesfanfic]

Chapter 6

Shani

"Good morning sunshine." Imena chimed as I entered the kitchen.

"Good morning." I said less than enthused. It was Monday morning and I was still in a funk behind Friday nights events. I still couldn't believe that bullshit really happened.

"Girl if you don't fix that chubby little face of yours. It's been two days. And you're still mad. Let it go." She rolled her eyes as she placed a hot cup of joe in front of me.

"I'm not mad." I lied placing the cup against my bottom lip and enjoying the scent.

"If you're not mad then why haven't you returned his car?" She asked with a raised brow.

"Shit. After what he did he's lucky I haven't trashed that bitch." I scuffed. Imena laughed as did I. I talked a lot of shit but had no intentions of doing any such thing. But it felt good to say it.

"I'm surprised he ain't called the police on your crazy ass." She shook her head and I shrugged my shoulders. "I honestly do believe there was some sort of misunderstanding Shani. From what you've told me something just isn't adding up."

"Yeah he misunderstood the difference between my and our. As in this is 'our' house, not 'my' house." I joked taking a sip of coffee. "He also misunderstood the difference between me and other bitches. As in 'other bitches' play those games but not 'me'."

We shared a laugh. A knock at the door however quickly caught both our attention. I raised a brow in confusion. It was 8 o'clock in the morning. Who could possibly be knocking at our door this early.

A smirk spread across Imena's face causing me to cut my eyes at her in suspicion. "You should probably get that?" She said nodding her head toward the door.

I peeped through the peep hole to find Darwin on the other side. I let out a sigh of relief before unlocking the door and pulling it open.  For a moment there I thought maybe this nigga had indeed called the cops on my ass.

"Good morning Darwin." I said after opening the door and stepping aside.

"Good morning Shani." He said with a smile. I turned to walk away and stopped dead in my tracks upon hearing another set of footsteps. My eyes locked with Imena's. She giggled so hard that she began to softly choke on her coffee. 'Good' I thought to myself.

"Good morning Shani." Michael said sending a cold chill down my spine. I rolled my eyes before heading to my bedroom as my bare feet slapped against the hard wood. I grabbed his keys and made my way back to him.

"Here." I said holding his keys out for him to take. I could feel him peering down into my face although I refused to look at him. It's not that I didn't want to. More like I couldn't.

"Can we talk?" He asked gently. But there was nothing left to say as far as I was concerned. I placed his keys in his pocket and took a seat at the table.

"Darwin remember that thing I had to show you in my room?" Imena said standing to her feet.

"What thing?" Darwin asked confused. She softly slapped his arm and he finally got the hint. "Oh that thing." He said following behind her.

I rolled my tongue against the inside of my jaw and folded my arms across my chest as the door closed behind them. I could hear Michael take a few steps closer to me but I refused to look at him. "I gave you your keys. I really don't see what else there is we have to talk about." My tone was flat and icy.

He took a seat across from me as if I'd offered him one. It was clear that he wasn't going to leave anytime soon. I realized that and decided if my tone hadn't been enough maybe my glare would achieve more. My eyes met his and to my surprise he simply stared back unmoved by my scowl.

He took his keys from his pocket and placed them on the table. "If you think I came here to get the car you're wrong. You can keep it for all I care, as long as you agree to hear me out." My eyes softened. "Just hear me out. That's all I'm asking."

I was completely caught off guard by his move. Did this man just offer me a six figure car in exchange for my time? Was he crazy? Or just that serious about what he had to say?

"I'd rather you had brung my shoe." I joked pushing his keys back across the table. There was no way I was accepting such a lavish gift from a guy I barely even knew. Even if the little time we had spent together made me feel as if I knew him better than I actually did.

He smiled placing his fingers against the side of his forehead as if to say 'he had forgotten'. "How about I take you to go get more shoes?" He offered. I raised a suspicious brow.

"I'd rather have that one back. They're my favorite. Besides they have sentimental value." I admitted and he raised a suspicious brow in return. I didn't want to elaborate on why it was important he returned the other half of my lucky pair of shoes. It wasn't something he deserved to know at this point.

"Here I was thinking all women saw shoes as disposable objects once they served their purpose." His shoulders relaxed a bit. He was getting comfortable.

"Well I'm not most women." I declared returning to my original scowl.

"I'm noticing that." He admitted. This time he looked away but at nothing in particular. I was giving him a hard time. But he deserved it.

"Look can I take you out to breakfast? I just wanna explain myself." He returned eye contact. His eyes pleading for my acceptance this time.

I laughed coldly. " First you offer me your car, then new shoes and when all else fails, you offer to take my fat ass to breakfast. Let me guess ... it's because most girls never turn down food!" I yelled slapping my hands down on the table. His eyes bulged and he looked genuinely alarmed by my response.

The door to Imena's room was swiftly yanked open and Darwin attempted to come out before being snatched back in by Imena. I rolled my eyes before returning my attention to Michael. Darwin had better sit his ass back down before he was next.

He looked genuinely dumbfounded. I smirked internally waiting to see if he would eat the bait. I was still very upset with him but a big part of me wanted to at least hear him out. I was mildly impressed with him at this point. He was trying very hard to prove himself to me. But he needed to understand that I wasn't like other girls. He couldn't use his money to apologize to me.

"Shani listen. I'm sorry if I hurt you or disrespected you in any way. Those were not my intentions. I really like you ... and I'm just trying to explain my side of this fucked up situation. I get it. You're not like other girls. Why do you think I'm here? I noticed that from the first moment I laid eyes on you." He pushed his seat back and stood to his feet. "And I asked you to breakfast because I thought maybe your fat ass was hungry." He snarled before beginning to walk away.

I noticed he left the keys on the table yet again. He reached for the door knob but before he could turn it I spoke up. "Michael!" I yelled at his back. He stopped taking a sharp breath and turning toward me.

"I'm always hungry." I admitted with a toothy grin. He cut his eyes at me as a smirk spread across his lips.

****

He took me to a diner he used to frequent and we enjoyed a nice breakfast as he tried his best to explain Lydia and her insane actions that night.

I listened very intently trying my best to keep up. And to my surprise I actually felt kind of bad for the girl. I always found myself sympathizing with women in situations like this. It's clear that she had mistaken his attention and affections for something more. But looking over into his face I couldn't blame her.

I was no stranger to falling heads over heels in love with a charming cutie. I wasn't sure if it was the woman in me or the writer in me that tended to run away with my thoughts. Either way I was left disappointed once I realized the feelings were one sided. I just hoped like I had that Lydia had caught the hint and would carry on with her life. Though something in me strongly made me feel otherwise. This wasn't just a cutie. It was Michael B. Jordan.

"Please excuse me." He said before heading to the restroom.

I took this time to blow bubbles into my half drunken cup of chocolate milk. I had been suppressing the urge to do so in front of him for the fear of him deeming me childish for doing so. If this was childish then childish was I.

"Old habits die hard." An all too familiar voice said.

I closed my eyes and wished the voice away. I had to be hearing things. There was no way I was hearing what and who I thought I was hearing. My greatest fear was confirmed as he took a seat next to me, placing his arm around my shoulders.

"Long time no see twin flame." He said nuzzling his face into the side of my neck. I was completely frozen and unsure of what to do next. I could feel my heart began to thud against my chest. I was sure that Dani could too at this point.

"Dani I ... I ..." I stuttered over my words in fear. A part of me was thankful we were in public but a part of me knew Dani.

"You ... You ... you thought I'd never find you." He whispered wrapping his hand around the back of my neck and digging his nails into my skin. I winched but knew better than to make a scene. "You can't fucking hide from me. Not even in Hollywood. You're still mine no matter how hard you try and convince yourself you're not. You belong to me just like that money you took. And I plan to collect on all debts very soon." He whispered into my ear.

I wanted to scream but nothing came out. He released his grip just as Michael approached our booth. "Hi, I'm Michael." He said cautiously as he extended his hand toward Dani. I was still paralyzed with fear so I hadn't bothered to look up into his face. "Shani are you okay?" He asked in a concerned tone. I felt Dani dig his nails into my knee beneath the table and quickly caught the hint. I placed a fake smile on my face and nodded as Dani placed his hand in Michael's.

"Dani." He said proudly giving Michael a firm handshake. "I'm a huge fan man." He admitted before digging into my knee once more and stepping to his feet. "Nice meeting you man. Shani I'll be seeing you." He said with a wink before walking away.

I sat in a daze for a moment until I felt Michael place his hand on my shoulder. "What was that about?" He asked with a raised brow.

[baileymacias]

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[ts-akhmim]

Episode 2 | “GET ME OUT OF HERE ” - Devon

okay so i filmed a video confessional earlier which is uploading where i basically talked about dealing with being a winner/the tomb and having an idol/potentially wanting to go to tribal pre-swap/deliberately choosing the puzzle/how much i love jake so that'll come at some point after this but just KNOW that came first. anyway just wanted to talk MORE because i have more thoughts. last round i was really conscious of needing to micro-manage my threat level and i think im putting in work to do that? im very concious that i cant play the same game as montenegro because im coming into it from a very different perspective/position. However, one thing I can do this season is transfer my prejury game, because i think it still works. What I need to do is to some extent take a backseat, where I'm not actively messaging people first, and keeping game talk kinda limited (but acknowledging it when people talk to me). Like I have the safety cushion of my idol, and my connection to jake/jordan, and to some extent dan and lovelis? like im not gonna be a target (touch wood) and hopefully if i am my men tm going to keep an eye out for me.... hopefully? it also means im not gonna be pushy about votes im gonna hear names and run with it (as long as its not jake/jordan, or lovelis tbh i get real good vibes from him). but yeah id really love the beauty tribe to go to tribal this round ive literally never spoken to a single one of them so i'd love one of that tribe that is a complete unknown quantity to go home DJDKLFSF. but yis so im feeling good taking a backseat but im gonna ejector seat myself forwards at some point, just got to figure out when to push the button

Okay so Bodhi left last night and that was really sad. We had nice conversations but i told him that if the rest of the tribe wanted him out i wasn't going to campaign for him. He ended up making his rounds but at the end of the day, no one felt strongly about keeping him. He speaks so well that it took me a night's rest to get my head straight. Also Trace got an alliance together of himself, myself, Scott and Isaac. Bitch i was SHOOK! I am so glad to be likable enough to be brought into someone else's core. So this kind of perfectly positioned myself and Scott between 2 alliances. I believe we're both more loyal to the one we formed before we found out we were going to tribal, but who knows. I did tell Autumn of the news because i figure if we were to lose again. Whichever of Isaac of Trace remains is going to feel on bottom and blow up that Scott and I were two-timing the DADS. Btw that is the dumbest alliance name I have ever been a part of but whatever. The rat pack has also formed and now him and I are in a good spot. I will say that i am nervous that MISS ALYSSA spoke the comparison into existence, but i really hope we don't continue to flop like Luzon did on Cagayan. But hey! If Denise can go to every tribal council in one season and win, maybe i can too. (PS i pissed myself with my score in winterbells but also F*CK WINTERBELLS, thats all, ty) 

Honestly I’m really regretting not participating in this challenge because I feel like our scores are.......not great. I feel like I could have turned out the puzzle and even winterbells. The flag Lovelis made is super cute and i think will fair well bc it’s very clean and neat. It’s not super creative, but it’s definitely well made. I think even if we went to tribal I would be okay though. Liam seems like an easy enough boot for us. No one seems that dazzled by his contributions to the tribe. 

i literally am the biggest clown who ever clowned for continuing to overdo it in challenges, if i'm allowed to make it to merge at this point it will literally be a miracle.

So Bodhi left on a unanimous vote yesterday and I'm glad that it worked out as planned! I definitely felt bad lying to him about it all and stuff, but I think it was the best for the tribe going forward. What does suck however is that we lost AGAIN! And it was actually close this time! I'm actually annoyed that we lost this time because I submitted my challenge at 4PM and the reason why we lost was because the last submission was at 8 :/ like... y'all couldn't get it in any earlier? Plus I'm annoyed because I find myself in the swing position between the DADS and The Rat Pack. Personally I don't trust Trace after finding out he tried to play the Rat Pack off as my idea when it was really his all along. To me, it shows that he'd betray me later on down the line. And the only purpose for "The Rat Pack" is so they feel like they're in the majority. So since we lost, I don't mind voting out Trace. Duncan and I called to confirm that we're on the same page. We also found out that Devon is telling us the same things about loyalty and allegiances and I don't like that. He also told Duncan that he would throw immunities and play idols for him if he needed it, and that Duncan was his number 1 ally. But he said the same exact thing to me. So... that has me a little sketch. But I also think that Autumn/Duncan are a close pair, so I may need to stick close to Devon for the long hall. But if Autumn/Duncan think I'm more with them than Devon, I'll take it. I'm supposed to go on call with the Dads soon. Duncan wants to tell them about the rat alliance so that Isaac doesn't use it as motive to get us out. Which i agree that it'd be a good idea as long as devon/autumn stick with us. Duncan and I both feel like Devon might be thrown off since he always likes to be in control, but not actually being in charge. So we'll need to do damage control when that happens. But for now it seems like Trace is going unless things change. If things go how I would want it to, then Trace leaves tomorrow. 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JKqH3EQMlugIe-lwHMYMG2qoVZ7dvIzr/view?usp=sharing

Omg!!!!! Another win that makes me so happy . The tribe is all getting along great and I couldnt all for better ppl. I'm hoping soon to get some kind of solid group together. Kendell adam and amiry are ppl I def wanna work with long term at the time. Just gotta see what happens. 

Not much has been happening lately so I might be able to keep this short and not ramble on and on like i usually do (ill still end up writing a novel probably) yippy yay it's day 5 and everything is still all smiles and giggles over here because we've won yet another immunity!! kinda boring tbh but obviously im happy we won immunity because now that buys me one more day and at the end of it that's all i care about. I kinda did want the brauns to go to tribal however instead of the brains because i just really would like my beauties to get a nice foot hold and a lead in the game, i actually enjoy taking to some of these people, and im trying my best to talk to as many people as i can, which anyone who knows me knows isn't the easiest thing for me, i was reading some of my old confessionals from both my past games and the one thing i consistently got dragged for was not being as present with people, which granted i did improve a lot on last time around for sure, but i still got work to do and im realizing that more each day when i have no urge whatsoever to talk to anyone (don't worry, it's not you, it's (crippling depression) me! I understand socializing is part of the game and i do think my social game is my strongest asset but to me i like to think of my social game as a more distinct kind, im more elusive and i like to be that, if you leave them wanting more dahling they'll keep you around, i dont like to show all my cards, and that's a quality that i reflect in both survivor and life, and it has advantages and disadvantages in both but ANYWHO despite all that dare i say i think im still doing *decent* ? I'm making it a priority to reach out at least once a day to *most people (AJ, Augusto, Amir, Austin) are the ones ive probably had some of the best conversations with where it was the most natural and just flowed you know, and still is on day 5, and with kendall ive had some talks with her i do like her but idk i get this vibe she's kinda holding back when talking to me, and ESPECIALLY same with connor? we only had one private conversation and he gave me about a 3 word response, and if you havent guessed by now i like elaboration or at least a lil bit of personality when you talk, no shade just an observation, so that's a small red flag im very much a person who matches energy, one of my go to's in survivor is being open to the possibility of anything, ill always work with anyone who will work with me, and i think thats how everyone should play so hopefully the people ive been talking a lot to feel similar but i guess we'll have to wait until a vote of some sort to see about all that.. I still havent heard any idol talk or even game talk quite frankly so im guessing people are just still keeping the friendly facade up..... or ...... is it me?? am i the one on the outs looking like boo boo the fool or is that just my paranoia getting to me??? im not gonna send myself into a tizzy about getting voted out when we're not even going to tribal i- lemme calm down. If i had to guess I'd say Kendall, Connor, or Amir have the idol probably but sounds like a mystery for another day because im DONE im clocking out for the night until other people wanna wake up and play the game too oop final note: ok but it would be sick and twisted if it turns out they are all playing the game just without me and im the first boot of the tribe 

Waking up on this glorious Day 5 with a new perspective. I originally applied to be on the brains tribe and was shook when I got brawn because let’s face it, my arms are akin to overcooked spaghetti noodles. BUT my tribe is so much stronger than the brains. I’m hoping for a big name to go to shake things up. AND I’m not really looking to swap onto a tribe with Trace or Autumn due to our past game history. Love them both dearly, but it’s gonna be a no from me. 

okie so! update from me is i think im doing okay. like i think the benefit of no dua lipa cave is you can just build connections with everyone, you aren't voting someone out every round so why not capitalise on that? i'm so afraid of the fact that i'm overdoing it in challenges like i really need to calm. down. but im reassuring myself with the fact that in the first challenge i only was top because i did like... one more thing than others like its not thattt big of a deal? my puzzle time was clownery but hopefully people don't pay attention to it? im getting very anxious about overdoing it in challenges, but my thought process now is like. i need to act like people have an awareness of it, without getting kinda consumed by my anxiety about it? idk im hoping since most of these people don't know me, they wont notice me doing good in the challenge but truly who can be sure also am really just liking my tribe? like jake is ofc a king, i love jordan (who im gonna talk to later, he is the only one i feel like i have to talk to today), i also really like TJ who i was super harsh on at the start for no reason, i get good ally vibes from lovelis, liam m is super sweet even tho he is kinda inactive and dan is so fun (plus he told jake that he speaks to me one of the most so we love that!!). i've been trying to figure out what i even do about a lot of the super old school players that i have no connection/point of reference with? like people like scott, adam, kendall, aj i have truly no basis with? thats whats so scary about a swap, is at this point in the game i know 10/20 people left aka the brawn tribe + duncan/isaac/autumn, and like 10/20 isnt bad... BUT then the other 10 aka the beauty tribe + trace/scott/devon i have literally no connection to which is super scary JAKSDFA. im just real afraid of a swap. just swap me with jordan/jake/autumn/isaac PLEATHE. im just a pile of anxiety this season idk what to do im like frozen because of how scared i am... maybe it'll be all fine

Well, that was a close one. I struggled with that comp all day and I feel like absolute shit that I only got our team that 1 point. To me, it's inexcusable not to have be able to help my tribe as I wanted to contribute and make sure I made my worth known. So now I'm just this paranoid mess that I would have been in trouble had we gone to tribal. It's been hard to talk to some of these people or for most of those who I do talk to, I just don't really know where there head is at. I'm not sure if this is just a really guarded tribe, or if I really should be concerned. So I don't know what to do just yet. And that's not a feeling I like when playing TS.

Not gonna lie, I’m pretty sad that Bodhi left the game like he was so active pre-season so I was expecting him to do his best to go super far and maybe he did? I don’t know, but I did want a chance to actually get to play with him in TS but we keep passing each other by! I hope he is doing good despite how he might feel being the first boot yknow but yeah <3 

The way I absolutely flopped with the idol system stuff is all types of funny and sad at the same time like I REALLY thought I did something only for it to be part of the challenge… That being said, Amir did tell me that he has a theory the idol system might be based on numbers which is interesting! I am super thankful he decided to tell me and we went on this long talk about how we are each other’s #1s which is super cute! I really do trust Amir and I do want to go far with him because he’s awesome but that being said, my #1 is me like I promised myself that I’d be selfish this time around just because being the selfless person I am hasn’t gotten me a win but we’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. We did go over a lot of stuff in terms of tribe dynamics and we both kinda agreed that AJ would be the first boot from the time if we went to tribal, we like our alliance with Kendall/Connor, we both like Adam and we both think Austin is sweet/genuine even if we don’t talk to him tons so yay for that too <3

I am SO trying to sell the fact that me and Kendall are a duo to Kendall which is funny to me idk hjfkds like she did approach me super early on about aligning but I do have the tiniest feeling she did that to mostly everyone but I’m trying to pin us with each other to her so she trusts me more, especially since I do feel as though she is the best connected on the tribe. I even called us Crystal Cox (me bc blazing speed and challenge flop ofc) and Ken(dell) ghfjdksl, I’m doing the most but yeah, I just want Kendall to see me as her #1 in the game on the off chance anything happens yknow?

Austin thinks I’m his #1 which is really sweet? I do like Austin even if it is hard to talk to him sometimes but hey, that happens. He told me that he’s really glad I’m on this tribe (which I have heard from basically everyone especially Adam and Amir which makes me feel cute omg) and that we might need to get a group going soon. I was like…. Tea but I also don’t know how quickly I want to get an alliance including Austin going just because it’s like… do I reveal that Austin and I are close-ish and be seen as a social threat? That just ain’t cute sis! But yeah, Austin told me he also really likes Kendall and Amir and that’s awesome that the two people I feel the closest to are ALSO doing THAT but at the same time, I want to be the one doing THAT the most because I’m greedy (by Ariana Grande) so it’s something to keep in mind! 

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Ugh fineeeee since I've been called out... by myself. I guess I'll do the bare minimum. So we won immunity!!!! Wooo!!!!!! Low-key though through out the entire process of making the flag, I just kept thinking darn I wish we voted out someone last tribal because drawing 7 people is annoying... watch me get voted out next tribal council lol. That would be quality foreshadowing. Today I have two goals. 1. Figure out what the method of entering the tomb. I intend on getting in contact with Augusto or Connor for that one. Augusto because he is low-key my number one. Connor because I feel if anyone can solve it he probably could. 2. Set up group chat with me, Augusto, and Austin. So Austin can feel a false sense of reassurance and Augusto and I have options. Write more later maybe.

Honestly im feeling kind of trepidatious going forward which is a little wierd, i just dont feel like ive gotten my footing yet in this game. I think like, im in a good spot to be fine on this tribe because of my social game and how I contribute in challenges, but I dont know if I feel good about anything longterm just yet. What really is bothering me is the tomb. Its gonna be round 3 tonight and I haven't made any more progress on getting in than I have night one. I feel like I have a lot of pieces to this puzzle but nothing is fitting together and its bothering me. I'm also a little upset that if we lose, I could see Liam being the target and I can't see my self risking my position to save him if he cant save himself. He has my name on his wiki page its an obvious association to me, and while I think hed be loyal to me, I'm just wondering honestly if him as an ally is worth the target it may bring. Im cautiously moving through the beginning of this game with a lot of unnease and hopefully I find some steady ground soon.

I am annoyed that we are yet again at tribal. I played so fucking hard at winter bells but of course someone on another tribe got like 238593277 billion which threw us back into tribal... So annoying truthfully. But it's alright, I should be able to make it out alive. I want Devon to go home. But I also don't want to let my guard down. This vote is important for a few reasons. The first reason is that our tribe is very close, so I am nervous that lines are going to be drawn in the sand. The second is that, after this vote, we will be down to five, making 3 the majority. We have an alliance of 4, and lord knows that when you are down to 5, whoever feels like 3 and 4 of the alliance are most likely going to try and rope in the 5th person to get rid of each other. So my plan is to make Isaac and Scott BOTH feel as though they are my number 1s so that they actually stick to our alliance of 4 thinking that I will be keeping them both if we lose again. This is the only way that i can see it working, but idk. I feel bad if Devon ends up going because he's a nice guy, but we have to make choices about strengthening our team, and then I have to make a choice about strengthening my place in the game. Hopefully this doesn't come to bite me in the ass.

Things have been going pretty well for my tribe! We won the first immunity challenge and that really seemed to boost tribe morale. Granted, these past couple of days I've been quiet since I'm trying to boost grades that are literally 0s into something manageable before I graduate hehe. I've tried to keep up with people through small conversations, which seems to work better for me at the moment until I get myself together. Adam wants to create an alliance with Augusto and Amir, which I'm totally for. I understand, though, that he doesn't wanna do it immediately since there's really no urgency to? We didn't go to tribal, so why did it matter! That excuse aside, I do hope that us holding our breath to say something doesn't bite us in the ass because these are people I want to work with! I wanna get something going with Kendall as well hopefully, since I adore her! Earlier, I stated that Adam and I (Adam, really) found our way into the tomb and both flopped in the questions. Adam took another stab at it and found out we've been bamboozled! Someone beat us to the punch and has whatever contents were inside the tomb. I'm assuming it was an idol, but who knows what else is in there! It kinda made me lose motivation to keep searching inside but when in Rome? I'll probably end up trying again despite knowing the end result just because I wanna prove I can be a smart cookie as well. I also didn't gloss over this but I'll mention it really quickly, but I'm sad Bodhi went! He was one of the few people I was familiar with on the other tribes so it's unfortunate we aren't going to be able to connect with each other this game. A king has fallen. In lighter and more recents events, my tribe crushed the second immunity challenge. Kendall stunned with her artistry and I'm still gushing over how cute everyone's character was. I kinda like decimated Winterbells, but I've always been good at the game, and Amir did really well in the scavenger hunt. Augusto and Austin did really well in the puzzle also, despite their lack of confidence in offering a strong performance. We appear to be THEE tribe to beat honestly and I'm loving that. I love our tribe! I LOVE OUR TRIBE! It really would be a tragedy if we aren't able to keep up this win streak we're manifesting. 

Sorry for not writing this sooner! Been having a bad depressive episode for the last couple days and it makes me unmotivated to write c': I feel like a flop so far in this game, not because I submit shit scores, but because I find it exhausting to connect with some of these people. They're all very nice in their own special ways, but interacting w some is like pulling teeth, and I guarantee they feel the same about me, which I would expect. That being said, I hope we keep winning, cause I don't have the energy to go to tribal right now.

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 

Thank God we won that based on the tiebreaker, but yikes I didn't think my flag would've tanked so hard. Guess I've gotta get better at perfecting my craft huh, but at least we're safe. I feel nervous on this tribe to be honest, because I think I'm the second to bottom on the totem pole after the other Liam, so it isn't reassuring that if we lose twice I'll either be gone, or I could even be gone at our first tribal if he's got a solid alliance going...the only alliance I have right now is with Jordan and I don't really know where I sit with everyone else, but I'm afraid of overplaying... ugh so annoying! I think I just need to force a couple of game related conversations with people to build up some trust, just hope it wouldn't paint a target on my back for trying I guess...

oh gorl, some of these people on my tribe really think im just the clown of the tribe and cant put two and two together, well guess what, IM NOT. So Amir messages me, which nothing out of the ordinary there, ive been talking to him every day so far for the most part like i said we're a little familiar with each other from our pasts, but i was VERY surprised today at what had happened... what had happened was....he starts talking the smallest bit of game with me, basically he just said, "is it me or is everyone really quiet here?" and so i just agreed with him and i said yeah i dont think people are talking game yet which is a little weird, and then i threw the TINEST tea crumpet out there and i said "yeah ive talked to some people so easily like you, but then there's others who.....i cant say the same for" and i was absolutely hinting at connor/kendall just because i havent had the longest convos with them, which no biggie, but THEN about 20 minutes later i get a message from CONNOR of all people saying "hey adam!" ..... obviously im glad to talk to him and im all for getting to know everyone, but my instincts immediately went off and told me it's a little sus....how not even a few minutes ago i was saying how some people never talk to me and then out of no where the one person i was mainly talking about messages me?? Coincidences don't exist in survivor. Now I really have no choice but to think that amir in someway mentioned to connor that i said theres some people i havent talked to at all and that he probably needed to work on that.. which is true, but cmon. i know the tribe brain cell is missing but at least put a little thought into this and message me later tonight or not right after i say it?? I'm not sure if they have any type of past connection and while I definitely do wanna keep building my relationship with Amir, this will definitely make me question him a little bit at least until i see how some votes fall when we eventually go to tribal. Amir also told me he's had the most convos with Augusto, which is funny because thats exactly how both me and aj feel about augusto, which tells me augusto is really playing the game rn, and while thats someone i want to work with, it's also someone i need to be extremely careful with if we're still playing together down the road. plot twist: connor messaging me has absolutely nothing to do with amir and i just made this whole conspiracy for nothing but idk.... it's a conspiracy IM interested in.

***last add on because i forgot to say how the hell im gonna HANDLE this amir/connor situation... im keeping my eyes on it incase theyre in kahoots and also if they think im that dumb then clearly they havent watched me play before, which is great for me but bad for them, you cant trick a trickster try all you want, There's nothing I love more than being underestimated in survivor because it kinda makes it a little easier to play and gives me more options, so sure ill keep up my fake smiles and act like we're all fine and dandy, ill play dumb and wont even act like im onto them but i absolutely am and ill be ready to make my move the second it seems right 

Ugh I feel so DIRTY. I feel so GROSS. Poor Devon, truly. I spoke with Autumn and told her about Devon, and she was in without a fight and told me that it should be 5-1. And then Devon came to me and was like... we all good for the vote tonight? And I'm like ................yes? Lol. I'm good, you're probably not. ugh, this is the part of this game that I hate. I want to never lose immunity ever again, let someone else break someone else's heart!

Something about Kendall is so chaotic and terrifying and I can’t put a finger on why.her aligning was her talking to me for the first time in a day saying “let’s align” and created an alliance chat without even asking who else should be in it which leads me to believe her Augusto and Connor already have a trio and I was the 4th. Are all these focking people playing me?? Like i still cant tell if this is a real alliance but i want to believe it is and not a bluff to vote me out. But also like why even do that, the only person on this cast that I trust and have played with, bodhi, has just been voted out. I’m a free agent and I can help that alliance make it far in the game, but they also have lots of relationships on other tribes so like I might not even be that valuable to them. I mentioned to Augusto about the numbers on the blog, hoping to create more trust because I really really love him and want to trust him but I’m still just so damn unsure. if we lose this immunity and I get one bad signal from any of those 3, if they slip up even once, I won’t hesitate to align and gather the minority. But if they are playing me properly, then kudos to them! 

I am just happy i have the idol i am going to put it in my ass. 

me when the brains tribe only has 5 members left http://prntscr.com/s8y76g

You know what? https://66.media.tumblr.com/b7b4accba586ad321141b6ba80d69044/tumblr_omule3fwZC1w1swfno1_250.gifv I'm mad but I'm not tight because that same alliance that Duncan and I orchestrated is the same alliance that will get us through. So do I enjoy going to tribal? No. And do I enjoy knowing that Trace created an alliance w/ everyone except me and Devon? No. But the Dads will prevail and I trust Scott and the gang. I mean Ducnan is family so as long as we don't go it's fine. But Devon is my baby so absolutely gotta kill for him. That's what keep em close hahaha But no the Trace vote is a dream come true that I only crossed my mind once and STILL got manifested. Like Duncan suggested it and I said you got it because Trace will be the FIRST to rally all the white boys against me in a swap. Cute or not, Trace will kill me I'm convinced. Like something in my spirit told me not to trust Trace and low and behold: Duncan reveals that alliance to me on Day 3. So confirmed, Trace is leaving so that I don't fall to the bottom of the tribe. But it's all good- Isaac listens to Fleetwood Mac and watches Schitt's Creek so he's a good guy. And Scott is literally a cinammon roll who's too busy to snitch or flip. I don't have time to discuss how much I love Duncan or Devon so we're tabling that. Anyway If y'all need me I'll be doing this 4 part immunity challenge that determines whether I make Final 3 in the other org I'm in so try not to need me lmao

okay so... we aren't going to tribal but its still kinda messy on brawn beach. i kinda have felt this energy for a while, but i don't think jake and jordan have enough trust between the two of them for us to be a continual three person alliance. jake is a very reactive, gut-impulse kind of player which is honestly to his benefit since he is super perceptive. however that also means he is quick to be anxious about stuff in the game, which is the same as me and that is why we click. BUT. he thinks something is up with dan/jordan and honestly i see that and feel it. jordan keeps hinting at dan being the one to loop in and i think that does say something about them having some sort of game dynamic. however, jordan is maybe downplaying that relationship which is scary KLAF tbh i still like jordan and wanna work with him, but i do 100% have to keep tabs on him, his social connections could definitely become a problem if he has other priorities over me! so i think i just have to make sure im a continuing priority for him, so i have to find some sort of information to bring to him (maybe when dan proposes the alliance of me/jordan/jake/dan to me ill run to jordan and be like hey did dan suggest this to you how do you feel) to solidify that sort of trust? idk... i want my j-men to stick together and they ARENT. maybe i need to solidify stuff with TJ specifically more, he gives good ally vibes? but ya... its a mess tm

[pristine-starlight]

3, 5, 6, 9, 11, 13, 15, 23, 29, and 30 for the music asks!!

Took me long enough but I’m finally answering these!!

Be warned tho that I just can’t keep my mouth shut when I get to share music so I answered with more than one song in most cases (sorry)

3: A song that reminds you of summertime

The entire Lemonade Mouth soundtrack tbh

This Is My Paradise by Bridgit Mendler (it’s old but i still love it??)

Once Upon A Time by Jordan Maron (it’s good for when the weather is all gloomy but you really don’t want it to be bc it has a summer-y feel to it and makes everything seem nicer)

Girls Like Girls by Hayley Kiyoko (it used to be my jam the summer it came out)

5: A song that needs to be played LOUD

THERE’S SO MANY OF THOSE HOLY SHIT??

Where We Belong by Thriving Ivory

Flight Of The Silverbird by Two Steps From Hell

Castle On The Hill by Ed Sheeran (it just needs to be louder and louder the closer it gets to the end okay it just needs to)

The Plagues from the Prince of Egypt soundtrack

honestly there’s just?? so many?? i love listening to so many songs really loud bc it just feels the best that way says the person with permanent ringing in their ears

6: A song that makes you want to dance

Can’t Stop The Feeling by Justin Timberlake (generally good song but it also has a story to it for me that includes teachers dancing and dabbing but that’s a long one to explain)

All About Us by He Is We ft Owl City

and tbh anything with a) a really good rhythm or b) a waltz-y melody

i’m the way with dancing as i am with cooking: i really love doing it but that doesn’t change the fact that i’m shit at it

9: A song that makes you happy

Somebody from Lemonade Mouth

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without A Smile by Sia

Love’s Just A Feeling by Lindsey Stirling (I listened to this one a lot when I was in Geneva, it brings back good memories)

Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift (this one also has a story)

One Last Time from the Uncharted 4 soundtrack (it gives me a lot of feelings but i guess they’re mostly happy feelings?? but obvi if you don’t know the scene where it plays in the game then i don’t think it’s gonna give you any feelings)

tbh there’s so many more and half of them aren’t even happy songs i just connect them to people or things that make me happy??

11: A song that you never get tired of

Charlie Brown by Coldplay

Control by Halsey

The Phoenix by Lindsey Stirling

i usually listen to songs way too much until i get bored of them and drop them for a while, but there’s always some exceptions

13: One of your favorite 80s songs

this is a very elaborate thing of bullshit bc certain meme-y songs are from the 80s i love it

Azok A Boldog Szép Napok by Beatrice (aay something Hungarian!)

A bunch of stuff from Peter Gabriel (let’s just say the whole “So” album + Biko)(I’m probably biased bc i saw him perform all of those live a few years ago okay i’ll never forget that)

Another Day In Paradise by Phil Collins

I Wanna Dance With Somebody by Whitney Houston (that’s typically the kinda song that comes on the car radio and you have to turn the volume up there’s no other way)

15: A song that is a cover by another artist

Emperor’s New Clothes cover from NateWantsToBattle!! (fun fact I don’t like p!atd at all buuut i fell in love with this cover)

also!! Wherever I Go from Chris Brenner! another instance of “didn’t even know the original, accidentally found the cover, loved it much more than the original after listening to that one too”

23: A song that you think everybody should listen to

idk man i don’t like saying that bc everyone has their own music taste and i don’t know any “godly” music?? but here

anything from the Brother Bear soundtrack bc it’s one of the best i’ve ever heard and honestly if you haven’t watched that movie yet please do??

Colours by Phil Collins (i’ve loved this song since i was like what?? 11? plus the lyrics are a++)

This Song Saved My Life by Simple Plan (bc it’s a good song that’s it)

29: A song that you remember from your childhood

there’s so many!! but okay specific ones here we go (no hungarian ones tho bc who cares about those plus there’s just so many)

Moonlight Shadow by Mike Oldfield (also “On Horseback” is one we listen to every christmas while decorating the tree it’s just a thing)

I Want To Break Free by Queen

Money, Money, Money by ABBA

30: A song that reminds you of yourself

uhh man you’re expecting too much of me i don’t know myself??

Control by Halsey (when i’m feeling all edgy and spiteful which tbh happens more often than you’d expect)

and??? i really just don’t have any other ones or good ones or positive ones i’m sorry

tbh i have a lot of songs i connect to other people/places/memories/etc but myself? naah

pls if by some miracle anyone has any song that reminds you of me pls tell me

[rhett-m]

| YOU DON’T OWN ME - ONE SHOT (RHETT&ISSAC)

Rhett, his head still reeling after the conversation he'd had with Chase, had intended to go up to his room and take some time to himself to get his head back in the game.  He'd never admit it outloud but Chase had bruised his ego with only words, telling him he felt sorry for the fact that Rhett would forever be alone, but he couldn't understand why those words hurt him so much.  He liked being alone, it suited him, but there was just something about the way that Chase said it...

Rhett was on his way out when he noticed the lonely body at the bar nursing a drink.  He thought back to his conversation with Chase, how he'd forced him to pick only one to be kept safe, and that man had been Joshua Blackwell himself.  Could it have been fate that Isaac sat there alone, his body hunched over as he looked desperate for company?  Could this be the gods calling to him to make his move?  Stir the pot a little in retaliation of Chase bruising his ego.  Surely he could do the same to Isaac in a moment of weakness.

"I don't think i've ever seen you wearing a frown," Rhett spoke softly as he sat beside him at the bar, flagging the bartender down to get himself a drink.  "Why the long face?"

Isaac, having not been paying any attention to the sights and sounds around him, had been so lost in his thoughts - his encounter with Beau still fresh on his mind, not to mention being stood up by the staff member that requested him.  Tonight should have been nothing but happy for him, Steven had made them official and everything, and yet you'd never know it from the look on his face.  He picked his head up and sighed, looking back to his drink, "Rhett."  He greeted the other with a nod.

"Come on," Rhett patted the kid on the shoulder to try to cheer him up, "your date can't already be over can it?"

Isaac simply nodded, "over before it even began."

Rhett looked at him confused, "what, found out the staff requesting you was a total dud and you got out before it was too late?"  

Isaac looked over at the other as he thought about his friends warnings.  They told him that he couldn't trust Rhett, to avoid letting him in too much, and yet Isaac couldn't see the bad in him.  He had this calm aura about him that Isaac fed off of, and he found himself oversharing without even thinking about it.  "He stood me up."

Rhett's eyes widened, a grin plastering across his face, oh this was fucking perfect - Steven's boyfriend getting stood up by a staff member?  He couldn't have asked for anything better, "who was it?  I might have to have a talk with him.  He obviously doesn't know what a catch you are."

Isaac could only smile, always a fan of such nice words said about him, "I-" fuck, what the hell was the staff members name, "Jordan, or something, I think?"

"Jordan Bryce?"  Rhett laughed, oh this just kept getting fucking better didn't it, "you know who that is right?"

"No, should I?"  He'd never heard of the name before in his life.

"Oh," Rhett's smile fell from his lips as he looked over at the other, concern plastered across his features.  "I would have thought Steven would have introduced you two."

"Why would he even care?"

"You really don't know do you?"  Rhett once again patted the others shoulder, keeping his hand there in a sympathetic manner, "you'd think he'd take a minute to introduce his best friend to his boyfriend.  I mean, sure he gets busy and all, but i've seen them together, surely an introduction wouldn't have taken all that long."

"Best friend?"  Bullshit, that had to be a joke, "why would his best friend be working as a staff here?"

"I've already said too much, Steven would have my head if he knew I was telling you this," Rhett played innocent as he took a drink from his glass.  "I just thought given how close the two of you are he would have at least introduced the two of you..."

"Maybe he was waiting for the right time?"  He had to give Steven the benefit of the doubt, but now he wondered why there hadn't been an introduction, was he ashamed of him, or was there something more to that friendship that he wanted to hide from him?  He still wondered why Steven's friend would be here as a staff instead of a client, but obviously Rhett wasn't going to be telling him tonight.

"You're totally right, i'm sure there's nothing to worry about," Rhett began to chuckle, shaking his head as Isaac looked at him with a look of puzzlement.

"What's so funny?"

"No, no, it's nothing, I shouldn't even be thinking this..."

"I want to know, just tell me."

"Seriously, it's nothing," Rhett trying to give him a reassuring smile but Isaac wasn't having any of that shit.  He wanted to know what was so funny, "I just think it's funny that out of everyone in the Haus to snatch you up it happens to be someone you don't even know?  Someone that's best friends with your boyfriend?  You seeing the humor behind this?"  Isaac shook his head no and Rhett continued, "we both know how possessive Steven can be..."  Still nothing, Isaac looked just as puzzled as ever.  Was this kid a fucking idiot or something?  "Take a look around, the staff didn't just throw random names in for the event, they picked men they already knew, men they wanted to share more time with, and yet you end up with Steven's best friend?  What do you want to bet..."

"He wouldn't rig the event like that."

"Are you sure about that?"  Rhett questioned giving the other a smirk, "we both know the type of man that Steven is.  He'll play around with everyone else's toys but god forbid someone tries to play with one of his," Rhett could see the wheels turning in Isaac's brain and he could only smirk.  This was as easy as taking candy from a baby.  

"He's not like that, he wouldn't-"

"-want you all to himself?  Rig the event so that his best friend, someone he knows will keep his hands off, ends up with you instead of one of the friskier staff?"  He looked around, men making out around them as he took another drink from his glass.  "We are talking about the same Blackwell right now, aren't we?"

Isaac sighed, finishing his drink and immediately ordering a refill.  "So why isn't he here then, making sure I behave?  Why'd he stand me up?"

"Do you like being forced to hang out with someone you don't know?"

"No," he let out a groan as he felt his heart sink.  Could Steven actually force his staff member best friend to waste his date for the night just to keep Isaac away from others?

"Where is Steven anyway?  Who did he end up paired with?"  He looked around trying to find the other, questioning Isaac to see if he knew who Blackwell had ended up with.

"Constant."

Again Rhett could only laugh when the pair finally came into sight, "I should have known his Big Pup would come out on top...not that this whole event is rigged or anything, not at all..."

"Big Pup?"

Rhett glanced over at Isaac completely dumbfounded, "how much has he even told you?"  Was Isaac completely clueless.  "You didn't know that Constant's his prized pet?  Has been for as long as he's been coming around the Haus," of course he could see the confusion on Isaac's face and had to elaborate.  "Constant's been hot for your boy there for as long as he's been coming around.  Steven fucks him, shows him the time of his life, and buys him all sorts of presents to keep him happy.  Had him collared for a while," he let out a groan remembering that, how fucking stupid Constant looked parading the damn jewelry around.  "You seriously didn't know that they are a thing?"  

Fuck, "it doesn't matter to me."

"You're stronger than I am then," he gave the other a coy smile as he looked back towards Steven in the crowd, "I guess i'd get jealous if I were his boyfriend and knew he was fucking other men and buying them presents all the time.  Hell, i've even gotten a few of those presents."

"Are you a pup too?"

Rhett burst out laughing, "please, I have more self respect than that.  Steven finds the weakest men in here, parades them around like they matter, buys them things, and the sex is fantastic...but i'm sure what you and him have is so much more than that right?"

Steven did parade him around, buy him presents, and their sex was on fire - but fuck, there was more, feelings were involved, he told him he loved him and had meant it.  "I have nothing to be jealous about..."  Yet there was hesitation in his voice.

Rhett picked up on that hesitation and could only nod in agreement, "let me guess...you're relationship started with presents?  Sex?"   Isaac remained silent as he stared at his glass, Rhett standing up from his stool as he had planted enough seeds in the others mind - now all he had to do was water them and watch them grow, torturing Isaac from the inside.  "Sounds to me you started out as a pet, just like the other ones..."

"Other ones?  How many are there?"

"Like I said Isaac, I have already said too much, i'm sure you and him are solid," Rhett leaned in to give the other a quick brush of his lips against his cheek.  "Just do me a favor and be careful alright?"  

Careful, Isaac was confused, what in the world did he have to be careful about?  "I don't-"

"Understand?  You will..."

With that Rhett took his leave, knowing if he spent too much time with Isaac at the bar Steven would come over.  This was just a quick visit but it was effective, and as he walked away Rhett started feeling so much better about everything.  He'd won that round and fuck if it wouldn't be fun to watch Steven trying to scramble to fix all that Rhett had just threatened.

[belaborthepoint]

Impeachment hearings - Week 1 transcript

President Trump: None of this is real. It's actually a collective lucid dream about a collective false memory, because of a little something called the Mandela effect. We all believed that Mandela got assassinated, when in fact he never existed. Like my phone call. It didn't happen, but it was also extremely good and appropriate. I had a lot of people listen to it and they loved it. Roger Ebert gave it 100% on Rotten Tomatoes because it was a perfect phone call, and also because it didn't happen.

Fox News: It's funny that people care about this. Everyone's saying that it's illegal to solicit information from a foreign country to use in the next election, but is Ukraine a foreign country? Is it even a country at all? We've never heard of it and the Democrats probably made it up. Nothing about this is real and this is the least sexy scandal we've ever had. No one is even getting naked and they expect people to watch it on tv? When's the last time you watched something that wasn't porn? Give me a break.

DAY 1 - TAYLOR AND KENT

Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff (Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee): We're here today to decide if an egregious abuse of power is something that a president should do or if maybe that's bad.

Republican Rep. Devin Nunes: What we have here is a televised theatrical performance staged by the democrats. You may or may not know that you were cast in a drama, because when you were doing your testimonies in the basement, we were actually auditioning you for the cast of Disney's Death of a Salesman on Ice. And congratulations, you got it! Be off book in two weeks because we open in a month! It's funny how everything in life is kind of like a performance though. Like doing a play is a performance, but politics is also a performance, and if you think about it, identity and the self are like also kind of performances? Which begs the question, what IS performance?

Schiff: What do you guys think?

George Kent (Deputy Assistant Secretary of State): It's my opinion that Trump shouldn't do criminal or impeachable things, which he did.

Bill Taylor (U.S. Diplomat in Ukraine): I have no attachment to the results of this, like whether Trump gets impeached or not, but he definitely did commit all of these impeachable offenses. Trump wanted to withhold security assistance to Ukraine for help with a political campaign and he is batshit crazy.

Schiff: Yeah, pretty much.

Republican Rep. Jim Jordan: Okay. You thought that the President was saying that he would withhold aid if Ukraine didn't announce an investigation. But you thought WRONG because they DIDN'T announce an investigation and there WAS no investigation!!!! Which means that it's impossible that Trump could have even made that proposition. And guess what else?? No one even tweeted about it!! What do you think of THAT, huh?? If it wasn't on twitter, it didn't happen. And you think you're this big shot witness and everyone loves you, you think you're the best witness ever and you're the star but guess what you didn't even get the lead role in Disney's Death of a Salesman on Ice!! In twenty years no one will even know your name!! You're NOT the STAR!!

Taylor: I didn't say I was...I'm just trying to give my testimony.

Republican Rep. Elise Stefanik: Okay, so even though he was trying to withold aid in exchange for political favors, he still gave them aid and the investigation didn't happen so why does it even matter what he said? I believe that actions speak louder than words and it doesn't really matter what anyone says ever. The solicitation of bribery failed. Therefore, it's not bribery.

Taylor: Um.

Stefanik: Also Trump gave Ukraine javelins which are light spears to be thrown by hand, as opposed to a bow and arrow or a slingshot. We believe that all these weapons are cool and fun. Funny enough, Obama didn't give Ukraine any of these things. Isn't this correct?

Taylor: I mean, sure.

Republican Rep. John Ratcliffe: So where's the impeachable offense in this phone call? I don't see it, do you?? I don't see a single impeachable offense anywhere so if you want to point it out to me be my guest. ANYONE??? BUELLER?????

Steve Castor (Chief Investigative Counsel/GOP): You do know that Ukraine was cyberbullying President Trump, right? That they wrote some mean stuff about him on the internet? Which means that they were out to get him?

Schiff: That's a stupid question, but go ahead.

Ratcliffe: What?? Are you serious? Why do you get to make objections?! I've sat here for literally a thousand years and hated everything everyone said but did you hear ME making objections?? I don't think so!!! Just let me know if it's okay to make objections to everything cause I'll totally do that, okay?!  I'm not even kidding. I have a trillion thousand objections to make and I will make ALL of them, MARK MY WORDS!!!!!!

Schiff: I didn't object to the question, I said he could ask it.

Nunes: Um, Chairman??? Are you going to answer Ratcliffe's question????

Schiff: I already said that I wasn't objecting. I've answered the question, so please kindly stop talking.

Castor: As I was saying, you can understand that Trump would be reasonably upset if someone said a mean thing on the internet about him.

Taylor: I don't understand how Trump reacts to anything because he's literally insane.

Castor: Would you agree that there are unresolved facts related to all of the time leading up to the 2016 election?

Taylor: What?

Castor: Would you agree that facts are unresolved?

Taylor: Do you wanna elaborate at all or...

Castor: If Ukraine has facts, they can share them, right?

Taylor: Literally what are you saying?

Castor: If Ukraine has facts about the 2016 election, it's cool if they share them with Trump. Correct? And Ukraine, you know, ought to uh, investigate all that stuff. So, by the transitive property, it's actually totally appropriate and a good thing if Trump threatens to withold aid to Ukraine in exchange for political information that will help him in the next election.

Taylor: Um, no...

Castor: You got readouts of the call and you described it as "cryptic." Do you mean that it was translated from another language?

Taylor: That's not what 'cryptic' means, so no.

Castor: So why did you think it was cryptic?

Taylor: Because it was totally vague and didn't include any details.

Republican Rep. Mike Turner: So let me get this straight. You're testifying about things that you believe are true. Couldn't it be possible that everything you believe is wrong and everything you think you know is a lie? And that actually we're all just characters in someone's dream and none of this is even happening? Did you even think of that?

Taylor: I mean, maybe...

Turner: I rest my case.

Jordan: So were you wrong? Were you just saying random stuff that wasn't true?

Taylor: No..

Jordan: Well actually you WERE because nothing happened. This is all an illusion. Did anyone see that movie The Matrix? It has a lot of philosophy in it and you probably wouldn't get it but this is exactly like that. None of this is real right now.

DAY 2- YOVANOVITCH

Daniel Goldman (Senior Advisor and Director of Investigations): So, Ambassador Yovanovitch, you've been doing this for 33 years. Is it normal for a president to get rid of an ambassador because of allegations that he knew were false?

Marie Yovanovitch (Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine): Nope.

Goldman: How did you feel about Trump saying you're gonna "go through some things?" Did you feel threatened by his very obvious threat?

Yovanovitch: Yeah, it sucked.

Trump: Everything about Marie Yovanovitch is bad. Somalia has problems because of her. Yovanovitch created global warming and she also invented the holocaust. She gave me food poisoning through voodoo because she is an evil sorceress and she can destroy you with her mind. She is trying to establish world domination because she is bad.

Schiff: Trump is attacking you on twitter right now. Do you enjoy being attacked on twitter by the president and do you think that's a normal thing for a president to do?

Yovanovitch: No.

Schiff: And how would you respond to his comment about you being an evil sorceress trying to dominate the world?

Yovanovitch: I mean I think I'm a normal human, as far as I know. I'm not really aiming for world domination.

Castor: And are you saying that having a whole campaign waged against you made it slightly harder for you to do your job and you didn't enjoy it?

Yovanovitch: Obviously.

Castor: Were you aware that Ukraine was out to get Trump? Were there indications that Ukrainians were advocating against then-candidate Trump?

Yovanovitch: No.

Castor: But you know that people said mean things about Trump on social media, right? What do you have to say about that?

Yovanovitch: I mean, yeah, that is what people use social media for.... I don't think that necessarily means that the entire Ukrainian government was plotting against President Trump, if that's what you're asking. Just because someone says something critical about a public official, which happens a lot, doesn't mean that they're trying to undermine someone's campaign. Also U.S. intelligence already determined that the interference was happening in Russia, so...

Jordan: I bet you can see why President Trump might have concerns though, if some people were posting critical things about him on the internet, I bet you could see why he might assume that there was a huge plot against him and everyone was out to get him.

Yovanovitch: ...is that a question? Or...

Jordan: Um, duh. Heh. Idiot.

Yovanovitch: Okay...can you repeat the question?

Jordan: Ummmm okayyyyy.... I bet you can see why President Trump might have concerns though, if some people were posting critical things about him on the internet, I bet you could see why he might assume that there was a huge plot--

Schiff: Mr. Jordan, I've indulged you with extra time. Can you ask the question, if there is one? The indulgence is wearing out.

Jordan: Well OUR indulgence of YOU wore out a longggg time ago, I'll tell you that. Heh heh.

Schiff: I'm about to gavel you down, so ask your question.

Jordan: Fine. Don't you think that Trump has reasons to be concerned?

Yovanovitch: I mean, people say critical things about politicians. I don't know if you know that, but that's kind of what happens in politics all the time every day and it doesn't mean there was a plot against Trump.

Democratic Rep. Raja Krishnamoorthi: Do you think, since everything Trump does is consistent with the actions of an authoritarian dictator, that maybe he is an authoritarian dictator?

Yovanovitch: Oh, for sure.

Nunes: Well, I guess this marks the end of Act 1 of Disney's Death of a Salesman on Ice. You all sucked. You didn't embody the characters at all, you weren't listening to your fellow actors, and you weren't physically engaged. The Times is going to give us a horrible review. Thanks for nothing.

[millie-xon]

My heart hurts me

(I wrote all of this 2-3 days ago, but had no time to actually post it here)

Today I had an interesting talk. Well, it wasn't a talk exactly, it was like a short exchange of sentences. Anyways, the point is that it got me thinking. The guy I was talking to is awful, I disagree with almost everything he says, but I guess maybe because he's so different from me he provides some arguments, which I overlook or dismiss.

Let's think about it then, we kinda talked about love (-.-). He said I was waiting for it, instead of looking for it, which is a piece of bullshit. I realized something else tho - I don't actually want no lover. Lemme elaborate! I had some troublesome relationships (all of my fucking relationships lol), thanks to them I got a better idea of the kind of man I like and want (no poisonous, childish shitheads, is my rule No. 1). Actually I got two ideas.

First one and the more desired one is the sweetheart I keep looking for. He'd be like me, cause I'm sweet and cute as hell. I generally think of a guy like Jacksepticeye or Garrett Watts, they're so funny, sweet, good-hearted and INNOCENT. I like innocence, funny it's one of the most important features for a person like me. What else.... Oh they're creative and a little crazy. I also like Jordan Peterson, who also partially fits into that description, cause of the way he talks when he has emotions and is passionate about the what he's talking about. Sweetheart! That's the only word that comes to mind really. Also, passion, I like passion in people, ain't no fake ass bitches coming through the gates to my heart! Connecting to that - I don't like secrets, I'm a very "do your best or do nothing" kind of a person, so if I find a man I want him to be fully truthful with me, so that we would be soul bros more than anything else. I like to imagine this kind of a person just sitting with me near a lake, somewhere far away from civilization, and looking into stars and just being there with me, as a sweet cuddly opposite sex reflection of my very self. Almost like a daemon - this thought I will add to later on. Also, NO SEX, weird, eh? By that I don't mean no sex at all, but I simply don't understand why this particular activity is so important in relationships, like people say you wanna make the other person feel good, so it proves you love them and care about them, but really? I say it's just a primitive, pleasurable thing we do, cause it's in our genes to breed. And sex is generally speaking quite fucking boring, everytime you feel the same exact thing, lemme fucking throw up.

(Quick thought, I suddenly got sad, because I won't have a chance to have sex with the at beginning mentioned guy, which is truly tragic. Something's bothering me about it, cause we fucked... or rather he fucked me, cause I didn't do a whole lot. I liked it, but I did nothing for him, guess it's the feeling of guilt. Guess I wanted him to have sex with me again one day, so I could recompensate. He's not gonna give a shit, but I gotta apologize him... If it don't help, then I apparently just want to have sex with him in general, yay.)

The second kind of a guy is a difficult motherfucker, who has a lot of darkness inside him. Difficult people, ain't they always who I end up with, hehe :'D Sadists, people who'd make me feel bad about myself, dumb, poisonous fucks, who I should avoid. Also, guys concentrated on work and also passionate, smart dudes, who have no time for feelings, but it doesn't mean they have no feelings. They kinda desperately want someone to talk to them and listen to them, and understand them; they kinda don't give a shit. My good heart and pleasant aura make them wanna talk to me, and make me wanna care about them. Later I regret. If I met a guy, who'd be a cold jerk, but also able to develop some genuine feelings towards me, then I guess he'd be the one. But I'd always have trouble trusting a person like this. When it comes to sex - this kind of a guy would be probably pissed off at me for being a girl and wasting his precious time with this shit, so he'd do that a lot and it would be unpleasant, but hey, don't I have a soft spot for this kind of treatment?

After thinking about my perfect boys (the first one seems waaaay better, btw, thank god I decided to write those thoughts down) I started thinking about what I'd like my life to be. The first image, that poped out in mind, was me in some sort of a bar, close to the sea, ideally in the Netherlands, just hanging out with some random people and looking for a place to sleep. In that moment I realized I really want to travel and meet new people, and have affairs! And simultaneously I felt a thorn in my heart - I can't be truly free if I ever fall in love. But then if I don't have a loved one, why am I such a cool and awesome person? Who am I doing it for? I go home after my travel and I'm alone. I don't like solitude. I need someone like the first type I described - a soul brother, someone to share my life with. And then I realized I haven't put too much work into my daemon, so that's what I'm gonna try doing, I guess.

Though except for that, I kinda just wanna have friends, who'd stay with me forever, so if I'm alone I have my friends to come to at least. I must admit now, after all this thinking, that I'd like the guy, who I talked to, to be such a friend, cause I seem to have gotten attached to him. Hope it'll happen, he's worth knowing. I might also be jealous if he gets a girlfriend.

[junker-town]

‘The Bachelorette’: We meet the sports-y men vying for Becca Kufrin’s heart

Night 1 was full of gimmicks and Globetrotters.

Welcome to Week 1 of The Bachelorette. We are recapping the show because The Bachelor is sports. In case you missed it, we broke down the 28 suitors vying for Becca’s heart.

Greetings, Sports Bachelor Nation friends. I’m excited to have you join me on this journey this season as we find out if our girl Becca Kufrin can win the game of love. I’m especially excited to take over the beat as I can finally tell my mom that I have to watch the show because it’s for work.

The episode opened with a quick refresher on how Becca got her heart brutally ripped out by Captain Bland Arie last season, reminding all of us that no matter how this journey winds up for her, it will still be better than being stuck with him.

Becca was quickly joined by reinforcements in the form of former Bachelorettes Rachel, JoJo, and Kaitlyn, all of who are still flaunting those Neil Lane symbols of Forever Love they found with Chris Harrison’s assistance.

Let’s get started, shall we?

The Men’s Intro Videos

Appreciate you, ABC, for kicking off the bios with football player Clay to emphasize that The Bachelorette is, in fact, sports. Everything Clay is pretty adorable, from him helping his grandmother out of her wheelchair while making a squats joke to him spending time with his family.

These intro videos are always so awkward as they pose thoughtfully in front of bodies of water and stage phone calls and interactions with loved ones. Garrett gave us his best Chris Farrell impersonation, which ranged from passable to cringeworthy, while Jordan the model literally posed thoughtfully in what he dubbed “the pensive gentleman.”

There’s a Chicagoan grocer named Joe, so I’m excited for a season’s worth of “Trader Joe” content. He can’t wink (though he certainly tried several times) but he’s great with produce puns.

Getting Out of the Limo

Colton pops out of the limo first with two confetti cannons, and honestly it was perfection:

Let's get poppin'! #TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/rkgrkUR0xa

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 29, 2018

Football player Clay came out with the perfect play on words, saying that he has “...caught a lot of passes in my day, but if I were to land you, you’d by far be the biggest catch of my life.”

I’m embarrassed to admit how loudly I “awwwwwwed” at that.

The majority of the intros were thankfully tame as Jean Blanc taught Becca “let’s do the damn thing” (apparently her season’s catchprase) in very bad French, John went the wrong way around the giant fountain, and Nick the attorney, showed up in a race car driving suit in an elaborate way of making fun of Arie before saying “I’m usually good with opening statements.”

Garrett showed up in a mini-van, saying he’d be a good husband and dad, and I have to tell you how much I HATE myself for being attracted to him. He’s adorable, and honestly it seems like Becca is digging it. He definitely spent the most time with her and had her do the flirty double-over laugh.

Trent decided to forgo the limo and instead came in a hearse, accompanied by the line: “When i heard you were the bachelorette I literally died, but then you brought me back to life.”

Not bad.

There were also a handful of guys that we’ve seen before on After the Final Rose. First up was Blake, who previously had put Becca “back on the horse,” so he took it up (down?) a notch by riding in on an ox. He was surprisingly shocked that she remembered him as if she is frequently lifted on to animals by men she doesn’t know.

Blake is followed with Lincoln, who also met Becca on the live show. He brought a piece of cake to share because the last time was his birthday. I feel like bringing a girl cake is a solid move, especially when you factor in that she’s standing outside of a mansion meeting a line of men for what I can only assume is several hours straight.

Becca apparently knows one of the guys — Jake from Minneapolis — and is someone she calls an “acquaintance” ... which I can’t say bodes well for Jake from Minneapolis.

Jordan talked about fashion the entire time. THE. ENTIRE. TIME. He said the words “sea foam” and judged the ever-loving hell out of these guys. His biggest pet peeves? Men with no socks, no ties, no belts, no pocket squares, and boring blazers. Then David the venture capitalist arrived, and stepped out of the limo in a full on chicken suit and yelling “BECCAW!”

I’d like to give David credit for this, but nothing will be better than when Jesse (Skylar Astin) says it to Beca (Anna Kendrick):

Worst Limo Gimmicks

Arie was a popular topic, as Nick the attorney showed up in a race car driving suit to make fun of the man who spurned Becca before saying, “I’m usually good with opening statements.” SPORTS ANALYST MIKE brought an Arie cutout out of the limo so that he could “see her as happy as she is now.”

Those were nothing compared to the tactic Kamil tried. Kamil, whose job is listed as a “social media participant,” stopped just steps out of the limo, as he tried to get her to meet him halfway as you often have to do in a relationship.

Ok, not bad.

Then, the took two steps further back and told her “well, really 60-40”.

AWWW HELL NO.

To Becca’s credit, she shut that down immediately and clearly didn’t find the stunt funny or cute. Nothing says “I’m here to start a loving relationship” like telling the other person they’re going to have to concede equal footing from the jump.

Mingling With the Men

After welcoming all 28 men to the mansion, Becca greets them with the normal platitudes of her being there to find love. It has to be such a daunting feeling to look out at 28 strangers and dread the amount of small talk coming your way.

Some things we learned over the course of the night:

Clay is endearingly sweet, saying Becca was his favorite all last season and brought clay for them to play with because, you guessed it, his name is Clay.

The group keeps bringing up Arie and their failed relationship, which seems like a questionable plan of attack.

One of the guys (John) made the app for Venmo. He seems normal enough, so yeah, maybe keep him around for a bit.

Jean Blanc wrote a poem. Now maybe I’m the weird one, but if someone busts out a poem that they wrote for me, I’m running in the other direction.

Things really heated up when Christon, the former Harlem Globe Trotter dunked over Becca, literally. It was awesome and as long as the dude didn’t mess up my hair I’d be very impressed. That led to pick up basketball in the driveway, which went surprisingly well and ended with Christon dunking over David the chicken as he yelled “BECCAW” repeatedly.

David the Chicken is actually very good looking, and when he finally took the chicken head off, Becca seemed super into him. Maybe that was the glass of champagne on the table in front of her, but there were a lot of smiles, laughs and flirty vibes.

Best Dude Bro Exchange

Garrett teaching Becca how to fly fish in the mansion pool is arguably the cutest thing that has ever happened at the Bachelor mansion and led to my favorite dude bro exchange of the night:

Dude bro #1: “I wonder if he’s catching anything”

Dude bro #2: “Feelings. He’s catching feelings.”

SOMEONE ISN’T HERE FOR THE RIGHT REASONS

Chris (who brought the choir) took Blake (with the Ox) and Christon (the Globetrotter) outside and told them both he and Chase are from Orlando, Florida. Apparently, on the After the Rose show where Becca met five of these suitors, one of Chase’s ex-girlfriends (that Chris is friends with) texted Chris and let him know that Chase’s intentions aren’t pure.

We have our first “not here for the Right Reasons” of the season and it’s only the first night — how did we get so lucky?!

According to Choir Chris, Chase is trying to revamp his marketing company (you know, as stints on reality television are known to do). Chris asks Blake and Christon if he should say something. Blake and Christon, who have clearly seen these shows before, encourage this knowing it usually blows up in the face of the one who rats out those not there for the Right Reason.

Unsurprisingly, Chase tells Chris that the ex, Danielle, blew their relationship out of proportion (they only saw each other for like two weeks) and he is for sure here for the Right Reasons.

Chase spoke to Becca right after to “get ahead of it,” telling her a woman he dated for “a month” (YOUR STORY IS FALLING APART, CHASE), sent a text but he’s “totally not that guy.” Well, that clears it up. He decides to bring Chris into this conversation, creating the most awkward interaction on an opening night of this franchise... which is saying something.

I’m uncomfortable and need a drink. There was a lot of talking around a topic and cliches about being a good guy and looking for love.

JAKE FROM MINNEAPOLIS.

Becca, rightfully, wants to know why a guy that runs in her social circles back home — and whom she has met several times — is interested in her now that she’s on a television show. She claims they’ve met many times and that she would constantly question his motives, so she sends him packing back to Minneapolis.

Honestly, shout out to Becca for knowing what she wants.

First Impression Rose

Garrett won her heart over with the mini-van showing and the fly fishing instruction. He clearly made her comfortable and she seemed happy in his company. She says she was “smitten” by him, and lordy I do not blame her.

He scored the first kiss, too, which was the sweetest. Usually these things come off cheap and tawdry, but they actually seemed like a couple.

#TheBachelorette pic.twitter.com/CX1fWHiwbv

— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) May 29, 2018

Rose Ceremony

Becca begins with a spiel thanking the guys for their patience and for taking the time to come on this journey. She says she must follow her gut and her heart when doling out these roses.

The rose ceremony then brings us the absolute best quote of the night, when Leo laments his long wait for a rose by saying he was, “looking out at a sea of highway patrol officers” and hoping his different look didn’t turn Becca off.

He got his rose.

Gone Too Soon

Poor one out for the bros that didn’t make it to next week:

Jake from Minneapolis

Chase

Joe (So many Trader Joe grocery store lines are now deleted and sent into the ether)

Kamil

Christian

Darius

Grant

[survivorjordanpines]

Adam’s Jury Answers

Emma:

Sorry not sorry guys, I have to do this. Emma babe, this one's for you https://media.giphy.com/media/KIjiO0w6YHRew/giphy.gif

Ruthie, normally everyone loves goats, but only you could make keeping you at final tribal seem baaaaaaaaaaad

Ryan Teddy Palmer, the man with a position so secure in the game, he survived one alliance voting him out, only to be voted out next round by the one that was saving him!

Gage, didnt you know that when you're a pawn you actually need to get to the end of the board to be useful???

Raffy, maybe if you didn't take so many naps, you could have opened your eyes and seen the blindside coming!

Charlotte, you were so paranoid this game that when you wasted my extra vote and helped me rock out, I was convinced that playing bad was all just an elaborate ruse!

Chaos Casey, with how irrelevant you were before you were rocked out, you can be the next washup cast on Tumblr Survivor: Where are they now?

Regan, whenever you speak to me I always want to know more about you. Like, are you always this way?

And to top it all off!

Emma, thank god you were the closest thing to a uninmous vote we had this game. Otherwise we might have forgotten you played!

Casey:

Oh it's coming >:)

Regan:

Haha Regan I love you. You're so weird and quirky and I just dig it. Like I can only really translate half of this but I get the general idea.

Heart to heart, you were my original plan for a final 2. I got along really well with Charlotte and Kage too, but they got voted out while I was away and I got voted out while Charlotte was away so that didn't work out. You remember that right? Well point being after I came back and Jaiden was telling me about how he and Kage were using my name to throw lies out there, and I came right to you, I really thought we were squared away. And when you voted me out I just chalked it up to that being your plan all along, because they even said in the vote outs that you guys didn't want me to meet up with my friends on the other tribe. Jokes on you guys though because we live to vote eachother out. But anyway, when I came back in the game, if you had been on my tribe it probably wouldve been you i told about my idol. It just wasn't in the cards though, and I shacked up with Charlotte and Drew. I told you a lot of things, but I told a lot of people a lot of things. It was one big info trading roulette and no matter what the biggest scores I brought home to m main alliance.

So it didn't work out between us this time, but really I'm just a fireball in games. I kinda do whatever I want. I think I could've come into FTC a lot stronger if I had played by the book, but I get bored very easily. I don't want to do unfun things in the game because honestly getting to the end feeling like you did everything right and still losing is very disheartening. So maybe it was a little self-sabotage mixed with some impulsive things for laughs, but I can live with my decisions. I had a fun game and I made it to the end. If I can fuck shit up along the way then hey let's light this city on fire. Maybe next game we play together we can be wingmen and paint the town red. Until then keep doing what you're doing girl. And hey, if you feel like, who cares, just vote for Adam. After all, fuck it

P.S. I love that you called me Russell. I was actually going to pick him for my icon but usually in games people are sketched when you do that so I've since stopped and let Jordan pick my icon. But you see right through me ;)

Ryan:

Honestly, the most fun I have in these games is just hanging out over the period of the game! I've always gotten rather drained when it comes to prolonged social interactions, so having a group of friendly people just online hanging out all the time is really fun! It's a very no-pressure environment to just chime in and joke around with people and like, that's absolutely part of what made this season so great! If a tribe chat is dead or like it's just full of a few people dominating the conversation, it's no fun at all. But we did it right because no matter what kind of game drama was going on someone would be cracking jokes in our Jordan Pines chat. That's what games should be like. Cuz no matter what we're all just here to have a good time, so when people get too upset about these games it makes me sad. This stuff was created and put together by people like us so we could all enjoy Survivor, so just have fun with the game and be friends! You might even meet a fewpeople who are really worth it

Charlotte:

No worries Charlotte I love you too! I told you this when you visited me on Redemption but even after a few frustrating moves we made together I couldn't dislike you if I tried.

I am sorry about the rites of passage, doing things last minute has been an accidental pattern these few days cuz there's so much stuff to do back to back. I regret being so busy at work that I just wrote them on my phone whenever I had the chance, but I actually didn't intend to write much anyway. I'm sure it could've done with more polishing but I wanted to leave it lighthearted and leave the serious talk for tribal. I admittedly didn't know the custom was to write a paragraph for everyone and I guess brash quips were just more my style. I didn't mean to make it seem like I didn't care about this game.

But anyway, I doubt we'll talk much after this game but with any luck we'll see eachother in another game someday! I'll miss being inspired to see movies after hearing about all the ones you are going to. We had some good times in hats sweets, and games aside I'll always treasure genuine friendship interactions. It's been a pleasure spending time with you and if you ever wanna take a dip on the wild side again dont be afraid to help a hater out ;)

It's been fun hanging out all season Char Char <3

Ari:

I can see how me mostly just winning redemption challenges and being a dick could outshine my social achievements, but I'm glad you asked! From right when I got back into the game pre-merge, I immediately set myself up with two alliances. One Ryan invited me into, with his icon friends yourself and Emma, to have "majority" on the tribe, and my real alliance with Charlotte and Drew, whom I planned to go to the end with and shared my idol with. I also made friends with Gage and Raffy and even Jaiden who my alliance wasn't decided on voting out. At merge I met up with Jess, who I spent a lot of time with planning out island excursions so we could find all of the claws, and Regan who I stuck close to because I wasn't sure when she could be voted out. I also spent a lot of time trading info with Raffy and Gage, though I really only shared information that was useless or they couldve gotten from someone else. I continued to draw a lot of information from our horsehuman alliance, mainly information about claws and the isle because votes were obvious and it was just whether we wanted to go with majority or show our hand and vote someone else out. My alliance with Drew and Charlotte was constantly the deciding votes, and we only needed to reveal ourselves when suddenly we were being targeted.

Lastly with me talking with Raffy and Gage and them also talking to Drew/Charlotte seperately, we talked them both into making alliances and "bringing us together" (one alliance with Gage and one without) so that way we wouldn't have to seem connected but we still would get Raffy's vote for our own ends. Really my only mistake in alliances was you Ari. After voting out Ryan I was suspicious you would be talking to Jess and Ruthie about going against me, since I voted out your closest ally, yet still underestimated how likely you were to betray me when the chaos idol came out. Originally in my alliance with raffy gage charlotte and drew, each of us was going to vote for one person, but I wanted to do duos with gage/raffy and charlotte/drew so i could say i was voting for you. In reality I meant to betray you so you would be rocked out alone while me drew and charlotte voted in a threeway. However, in the final hour of tribal me and charlotte got into an argument and at the last moment i agreed to just self vote and charlotte would jsut vote drew, which she didn't even end up doing! So our alliance crumbled because when we should have just all 3 voted eachother charlotte got 3 votes and me and drew went to rocks. And the rest is history.

So I knew you could have been colluding with Jess and Ruthie but honestly didn't think you had the moxie. Well played

Rafael:

That's okay Raffy. I guess if all you have to do to win survivor is win immunities then do your thing. I'm more of a showman and I strive to make the game something great. And it totally was! This is probably the best org I've ever played, for so many reasons.

I want to remind you that I once told you I live to entertain. So I ask you, https://info.umkc.edu/unews/wp-content/uploads/2016/11/oS3Qd2AZZ-620x396.png

But I hope you know I had such a fun time talking with you! I wish we had gotten deeper into a videogame discussion because I think we overlap in more areas than one, but I always loved having you around! Too bad everyone else would have loved you too and there's really only room for one Jordan hate up here. But hey, no reason to let that keep you from rooting for the home team ;)

Gage:

I'd vote for Jess. See: http://survivorjordanpines.tumblr.com/post/170099908090/jessicas-opening-speech

Ruthie:

Thanks Ruthie! You know me and you never really played the game together but it was always really pleasant to just pop in on each other! I felt like we were old friends catching up for tea while the world raged on. I enjoyed what little time we spent together <3