#let me hold your hand and hug you
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took me a while to even admit this to myself, but for such an emotional and expressive person, i’m actually pretty shit at comforting other people
#i cry alllll the time#but i have no idea what to do when somebody else is crying#and i wanted to become a psychologist at some point#HA#medicine/ medical research only#like yeah i’m empathetic#but i’m good at the analysing and the expressing#not so much the comforting#i don’t know what to say#but i’m always there for other people to yap and cry and scream#but i just stand beside them and do the same or just let them let it all out#like#i can read other people so precisely at times#but damn#most of the time i have no idea how to comfort them#i’m just like#🧍🏽♀️#let me hold your hand and hug you#please don’t expect me to talk#maybe if i have inspiration#but otherwise i’m MUTE#and maybe i’ll share a similar story of mine to show you that i somewhat underhand#or about a book i read or movie i saw#i’m sorry#yapping time#ted talks with vi#thoughts
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Call that a Cave Story.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen chao#wang lingjiao#mianmian#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#I had to cut the comic with JC 'holding WWX back from fighting the Wen Assholes' but it is with me in spirit.#It reads (to me) a little bit like JC is scared of Core Melting Hand and wants to have an excuse to hold on to WWX for comfort.#As far as I can recall they are around 15-17 in this arc.#And a guy who can rip out your golden core? The thing we know JC truly puts so much weight upon that he feels meaningless without it?#Yeah that's pretty terrifying. I hope WWX hugs back (he will not)#I have a lot more thoughts on Wang Lingjiao and Mianmian but I will keep them for later.#WLJ is a character I feel got done a little dirty because she has a ton of interesting potential that gets pushed aside for Mean Villainess#Let's be fully honest. Wen Chao and Wang Lingjiao are *THE* characters the Protag of one of those 'Reincarnated as the villain!' stories#Set up to be assholes to the main character and meeting a horrible end in retribution.#Do you think MXTX thought about that? How Wen Chao is basically the original Shen QiugQiu?#Who's going to be the brave soul who writes A transmigrator in wen chao's body (accidently makes wwx fall in love with him) story?#Though If we are going with “any mxtx character sho dies transmigrates to another book” WHO is the transmigrator?#Hear me out. I think it should be Original Liu Qingge. I think he and wwx would make a funny duo and I want to see it so bad.#AND the contrast of womanizer Wen Chao VS 'What is a woman' LQG.
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if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
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when the 1975 said “till then we’ll knock around and see if you’re all i need” and when they said “you look so alive do you fancy sitting down with me and see if you’re all i need?” and when they said “don’t you see me? i. i think i’m falling. i’m falling for you” and when they said “don’t you need me? i. i think i’m falling. i’m falling for you.” and when they said “on this night and in this life, i think im falling”. and when they said “according to your heart my place is not deliberate” and when they said “i don’t wanna be your friend. i wanna kiss your neck.”
#when you rock climb and beat that route you’ve been trying five times now you look so alive. and i get that little oh moment#where you get so pretty. and your eyes sparkle. and your neck. i wanna kiss it. and bite it#and hold you and hug you and sit with you forever. will you let me? would you? would you allow me to tell you what i see?#would you let me yearn and ache and long? my hand itching for your touch? your neck so enticing for me to bury my head there?#would you? or would you be wise would you be smart would you see there’s nothing here. would you smile and say i’m sorry#would you fuck me up a little more. i think i’d let you. i think i would. i think you should. bc there’s nothing here but thoughts of you#and that’s painfully little for an adult human person. but it’s all i have. it’s all there is. it’s you. i wish you knew how much that is#i wish you knew about the potential for you to be everything. i wish i could tell you. maybe one day i will. but you shouldn’t listen#you should look away. i scare easily. i’m only half a person anyway. and still i wanna bite your neck#dio.txt#the 1975#fallingforyou
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Zhongli and pda don't belong in the same sentence.
#genshin x reader#zhongli#can you picture that old man hugging anyone or holding their hand? no#the most he'd do is offer you his arm let's be real#this conundrum has gotten in the way of me trying to understand how a romance with him would work#he has a wall up and he's not physically affectionate#that being said?#if you get him laughing heartily enough i can see him taking your face and kissing it#in that 'youre so endearing' amused sense#which is odd because he's no pda but then random kiss?#this is the first in my physically touchy vs physically affectionate series#it's uhhhh off to a bad start i'm not in the mood to make the post portion substantial#zhongli is neither physically touchy nor physically affectionate#if you want a range....#physically touchy and affectionate: bennett#physically touchy but not affectionate: tighnari#physically not touchy but affectionate: thoma#most boys belong in the physically not touchy but slightly affectionate category#'slightly affectionate' having multiple meanings#if you want anyone specific feel free to send in an ask
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And then I finally end it off with some doodles of them… they make me feel things.
#ringmaster doodles#sona art#( they’re very much the theme of. love in the face of the neverending march of time. )#( being immortal and knowing you will outlive the man you love because someone else deemed he unworthy of eternal life. )#( he may still have tens of thousands of years left. sure. but you know that those will go by and he’ll disappear in the blink of an eye. )#( and you’ll sit there on his death bed. wondering why did things end up like this? )#( wondering what you did wrong. and if you could have done something different. you’ll always ask yourself. )#( if he lives a life of happiness and comfort or did he live a life as gruesome and miserable as the wars on earth? but you won’t know. )#( and the more you think about it. the more you realize it. how nihilistic he was. and how he never seemed to smile even in the good times.#he always seemed to have a frown or a scowl on his face. he always seems bothered and unhappy. )#( so you wonder if it was something you did. because you know you aren’t perfect. you’re hardly good. )#( you wonder if he’s mad at you. maybe he was. but he doesn’t have the heart to stay mad. )#( and that’s love in the face of adversity. knowing that no matter how bad it gets. he loves you as you love him. )#( and you wonder why he never smiles. because he truly never does. and so you ask him. honest and true. )#( and he tells you there isn’t anything worth smiling for. nothing in this whole world. )#( but he smiles at you. it’s always small. and it’s always brief. )#( but that smile. that smile means love. )#( that hug. as flimsy as it may be. that hug means love. )#( of course. he isn’t affectionate. if anything. he detests it. he hates physical contact of any kind. you’ve noticed. )#( which is a shame. you love your hugs and your kisses and your hand holding. )#( but even if he doesn’t like it. he lets you do it. because it makes you happy. )#( and you learn that when you’re happy. he’s a little less miserable. )#( of course. not all love is equal. and not all love is fair. )#( the love from a lover and the love from the father can never equate to one another. )#( no one will love you in the same way a father or mother loves you. in the same manner. no one will ever love you the way I do. )#( because my love will remain with you. long after I disappear. )#( and as bitter as the idea of my own existence coming to an end is. knowing I did all of this for. essentially nothing. )#( that I’ve gone through all this pain and suffering and hardship just for it to all amount to nothing. for it to be fucking useless to try.#I get to die knowing that you’ll always love and be loved. and that’s enough for me… )#( … maybe there is something worth smiling for after all. )
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Something about knuckles taking on the protective father/big brother role is something I adore. Like it’s likely started with the chao. Then got directed to tails then Amy, and so on. Charmy too probably. Like it’s just his instinct to protect sweet soft friends. Adopting without realizing. You’re sweet and caring and younger than him? Congrats you have a big strong brother now. You didn’t ask and you didn’t have to, he subconsciously decided it.
Anyway knuckles sibling/familial love is based.
#don't yell at me i'll cry {ooc}#natural dad instincts. I need to write more platonic stuff w/ him#he is very physically open with those he cares about. hugs kisses cuddles#holds your hand or lets you do his quills or take a nap on him.#a sucker for platonic intimacy#(also I’m a little zooted atm)
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#nature is chaos#nature is uncertainty & beauty#cold & unrelenting#peaceful & serene#to be a part of the natural world is a gift all too forgotten#making an effort to not let the uncertainty of nature make me a bitter old maid#to assume is to make and ass of u & me#to hold it too tight is to destroy it#to let it go completely is to neglect it#let your hands rest just gently enough atop the water so you might see the outline of water molecules giving your fingers an atomic hug#mine#888
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okay violence aside, chiyo likes height differences bc if someone's tall, then her head is at the perfect placement to listen to their heartbeat whenever she hugs them. she doesn't tell people she likes that, but it's pretty calming to her :' ) tbh if she's upset ( at you? at herself? at the world? take your pick ), just hug her and make sure her ear is pressed against your chest and she calms right down
#i mean there are exceptions ofc but physical touch is chiyo's love language even if she's selective about who she touches#but really it's very comforting and that plus the steady beating of someone's heart and just!! being wrapped up in someone's arms#the closeness of that#all of that stuff combined is a recipe for a very relaxed chiyo#okay in general!!! pls just hold chiyo she could use a hug or like ten#i'm just soft now thinking about it bc she just feels so much more at ease when someone's touching her/she's touching someone#in a crowd? she's holding your hand bc she doesn't like crowds they make her anxious#she's nervous about a deadline or a social event? she's curling up against you on the couch and trying to remain distracted#tbh when she's working even!! it'll distract her at first but she'd be so comfortable drawing in someone's lap#once you get her to stop creating distance between y'all she'll be content for there to be zero distance physically at all times asdf#alright let me stop rambling :' ))#headcanons | chiyoko
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@weatherquest ;w;
fallin and marcille
#one thing about me is that im touchy feely lmao#i would def hold hands hug you close or even set on your lap and chill there#plus just casually wrap my arm on you#i do this to ken but in a teasing younger sibling way and i generally csn not go#without hugging my dad multiple times a day#so when we meet you will be warned#hell id probably run my hand in your hair too if given the chance😭🥺#but anywho if you ever not want me to do that at a given moment or at all just let me know#AHSJSJDJD also this farcille pick is so us jm def marcelle in this pick 🥺😘#dungeon meshi#farcille#fave#inspo#romantic museings 💕
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KINGDOM OF ASH (by SJM)
Chapter 48
THE FAMILY REUINION🥹😆😭🫶& MY SOULLL
But when they reached Princess Hasar's battle tent, when they had all gathered around a map of Anielle, they had only a few minutes of discussion before they were interrupted. By the person Chaol least expected to walk through the flaps.
A moment later, Chaol was glad he was sitting down.
Nesryn breathed, "Holy gods."
Chaol was inclined to agree as Aelin Galathynius, Rowan Whitethorn, and several others entered the tent.
They were mud-splattered, the Queen of Terrasen's braided hair far longer than Chaol had last seen. And her eyes ... Not the soft, yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.
Chaol shot to his feet. "I thought you were in Terrasen," he blurted. All the reports had confirmed it. Yet here she stood, no army in sight.
Three Fae males-towering warriors as broad and muscled as Rowan—had entered, along with a delicate, dark-haired human woman.
But Aelin was only staring at him. Staring and staring at him.
No one spoke as tears began sliding down her face. Not at his being here, Chaol realized as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin.
But at him. Standing. Walking.
The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy and flung her arms around his neck. Pain lanced down his spine at the impact, but Chaol held her right back, every question fading from his tongue.
Aelin was shaking as she pulled away. "I knew you would," she breathed, gazing down his body, to his feet, then up again. "I knew you'd do it."
"Not alone," he said thickly. Chaol swallowed, releasing Aelin to extend an arm behind him. To the woman he knew stood there, a hand over the locket at her neck.
Perhaps Aelin would not remember, perhaps their encounter years ago had meant nothing to her at all, but Chaol drew Yrene forward. "Aelin, allow me to introduce"
"Yrene Towers," the queen breathed as his wife stepped to his side.
The two women stared at each other.
Yrene's mouth quivered as she opened the silver locket and pulled out a piece of paper. Hands trembling, she extended it to the queen. Aelin's own hands shook as she accepted the scrap.
"Thank you," Yrene whispered.
Chaol supposed it was all that really needed to be said.
Aelin unfolded the paper, reading the note she'd written, seeing the lines from the hundreds of foldings and rereadings these past few years.
"I went to the Torre," Yrene said, her voice cracking. "I took the money you gave me, and went to the Torre. And I became the heir apparent to the Healer on High. And now I have come back, to do what I can. I taught every healer I could the lessons you showed me that night, about self-defense. I didn't waste it-not a coin you gave me, or a moment of the time, the life you bought me." Tears were rolling and rolling down Yrene's face. "I didn't waste any of it."
Aelin closed her eyes, smiling through her own tears, and when she opened them, she took Yrene's shaking hands. "Now it is my turn to thank you." But Aelin's gaze fell upon the wedding band on Yrene's finger, and when she glanced to Chaol, he grinned.
"No longer Yrene Towers," Chaol said softly, "but Yrene Westfall."
Aelin let out one of those choked, joyous laughs, and Rowan stepped up to her side.
Yrene's head tilted back to take in the warrior's full height, her eyes widening-not only at Rowan's size, but at the pointed ears, the slightly elongated canines and tattoo. Aelin said, "Then let me introduce you, Lady Westfall, to my own husband, Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius."
For that was indeed a wedding band on the queen's finger, the emerald mud-splattered but bright. On Rowan's own hand, a gold-and-ruby ring gleamed.
"My mate," Aelin added, fluttering her lashes at the Fae male. Rowan rolled his eyes, yet couldn't entirely contain his smile as he inclined his head to Yrene.
Yrene bowed, but Aelin snorted. "None of that, please. It'll go right to his immortal head." Her grin softened as Yrene blushed, and Aelin held up the scrap of paper. "May I keep this?" She eyed Yrene's locket. "Or does it go in there?"
Yrene folded the queen's fingers around the paper. "It is yours, as it always was. A piece of your bravery that helped me find my own."
Aelin shook her head, as if to dismiss the claim.
But Yrene squeezed Aelin's closed hand. "It gave me courage, the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled, every long hour I studied and worked, it gave me courage. I thank you for that, too."
Aelin swallowed hard, and Chaol took that as excuse enough to sit again, his back giving a grateful tinge. He said to the queen, "There is another person responsible for this army being here." He gestured to Nesryn, the woman already smiling at the queen. "The rukhin you see, the army gathered, is as much because of Nesryn as it is because of me."
A spark lit Aelin's eyes, and both women met halfway in a tight embrace. "I want to hear the entire story," Aelin said. "Every word of it." Nesryn's subdued smile widened. "So you shall. But later." Aelin clapped her on the shoulder and turned to the two royals still by the desk. Tall and regal, but as mud-splattered as the queen.
Chaol blurted, "Dorian?"
Rowan answered, "Not with us." He glanced to the royals.
"They know everything," Nesryn said
"He's with Manon," Aelin said simply.
Chaol wasn't entirely sure whether to be relieved. "Hunting for something important."
The keys. Holy gods.
Aelin nodded. Later. He'd think on where Dorian might now be later. Aelin nodded again. The full story would come then too.
Nesryn said, "May I present Princess Hasar and Prince Sartaq."
Aelin bowed—low. "You have my eternal gratitude," Aelin said, and the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen. Any shock Sartaq and Hasar had shown upon the queen bowing so low was hidden as they bowed back, the portrait of courtly grace.
"My father," Sartaq said, "remained in the khaganate to oversee our lands, along with our siblings Duva and Arghun. But my brother Kashin sails with the rest of the army. He was not two weeks behind us when we left."
Aelin glanced to Chaol, and he nodded.
Something glittered in her eyes at the confirmation, but the queen jerked her chin at Hasar. "Did you get my letter?"
The letter that Aelin had sent months ago, begging for aid and promising only a better world in return. Hasar picked at her nails. "Perhaps. I get far too many letters from fellow princesses these days to possibly remember or answer all of them."
Aelin smirked, as if the two of them spoke a language no one else could understand, a special code between two equally arrogant and proud women. But she motioned to her companions, who stepped forward. "Allow me to introduce my friends. Lord Gavriel, of Doranelle." A nod toward the tawny-eyed and golden-haired warrior who bowed.
Tattoos covered his neck, his hands, but his every motion was graceful. "My uncle, of sorts," Aelin added with a smirk at Gavriel. At Chaol's narrowed brows, she explained, "He's Aedion's father."
"Well, that explains a few things," Nesryn muttered.
The hair, the broad-planed face ... yes, it was the same. But where Aedion was fire, Gavriel seemed to be stone. Indeed, his eyes were solemn as he said, "Aedion is my pride." Emotion rippled over Aelin's face, but she gestured to the dark-haired male. Not someone Chaol ever wanted to tangle with, he decided as he surveyed the granite-hewn features, the black eyes and unsmiling mouth.
"Lorcan Salvaterre, formerly of Doranelle, and now a blood-sworn member of my court." As if that weren't a shock enough, Aelin winked at the imposing male. Lorcan scowled. "We're still in the adjustment period," she loudly whispered, and Yrene chuckled.
Lorcan Salvaterre. Chaol hadn't met the male this spring in Rifthold, but he'd heard all about him. That he'd been Maeve's most trusted commander, her most loyal and fierce warrior.
That he'd wanted to kill Aelin, hated Aelin.
How this had come about, why she was not in Terrasen with her army ... "You, too, have a tale to tell," Chaol said.
"Indeed I do." Aelin's eyes guttered, and Rowan put a hand on her lower back. Bad— something terrible had occurred. Chaol scanned Aelin for any hint of it. He stopped when he noticed the smoothness of the skin at her neck. The lack of scars. The missing scars on her hands, her palms. "Later," Aelin said softly. She straightened her shoulders, and another golden-haired male came forward. Beautiful. That was the only way to describe him. "Fenrys ... You know, I don't actually know your family name."
Fenrys threw a roguish wink at the queen.
"Moonbeam."
"It is not," Aelin hissed, choking on a laugh.
Fenrys laid a hand on his heart. "I am blood-sworn to you. Would I lie?"
Another blood-sworn Fae male in her court.
Across the tent, Sartaq cursed in his own tongue. As if he'd heard of Lorcan, and Gavriel, and Fenrys.
Aelin gave Fenrys a vulgar gesture that set Hasar chuckling, and faced the royals. "They're barely housebroken. Hardly fit for your fine company." Even Sartaq smiled at that. But it was to the small, delicate woman that Aelin now gestured. "And the only civilized member of my court, Lady Elide Lochan of Perranth." Perranth. Chaol had combed through the family trees of Terrasen just this winter, had seen the lists of so many royal households crossed out, victim to the conquest ten years ago.
Elide's name had been among them.
Another Terrasen royal who had managed to evade Adarlan's butchers.
The pretty young woman took a limping step forward, and bobbed a curtsy to the royals. Her boots concealed any sign of the source of the injury, but Yrene's attention shot right to her leg. Her ankle. "It's an honor to meet all of you," Elide said, her voice low and steady. Her dark eyes swept over them, cunning and clear. Like she could see beneath their skin and bones, to the souls beneath.
Aelin wiped her hands. "Well, that's over and done with," she announced, and strode to the desk and map. "Shall we discuss where you all plan to march once we beat the living shit out of this army?"
#NO SPOILERS PLEASE (though warning for the chapter in post & tags) this is my first read along with me & more reacts in tags etc#Chaorene Rowaelin Elorcan MOONBEAM this chapter has EVERYTHING so it needed its own post mark-if only it had Dorian than it would be PERFECT#A PROPER MAASVERSE REUINION-FULL CIRCLE-& me squealing in wivern happy in sappy like🥹 crying giggling & kicking my feet in excitement#Aelin Sardothien&HER CADRE/Court; her calling them all that — MOONBEAM finally lol how has this not come up or Lorcan tease or Rowan cheerin#she really nails these scenes-break my heart make my day-like QoS but ow&healingX100-my bbs are happy-TAB REFS-THE DYNAMICS-the wives meet!#Ivory horsehair for times of peace; the Ebony for times of war. — significance in tiny details-It was holy-the gold couch lol-SHES PREGGERS#To sit down even for a few minutes would be a blessed relief. — the difference from TOD - lol only Hasar could get interior design rn#to be the first piece of furniture in the home he'd build for his wife. For the child she carried.—shewastheoneheleastexpectedtoseeomg#holding hands even in blood-the ruler but wished to know-close to disaster-flood?that’s bad for fire/maybe she can steam-HOLY GODS INDEED#a moment later Chaol was glad he was sitting-as Aelin Galathynius Rowan Whitethorn and several others entered. Mud splattered. Too long hair#And her eyes ... Not the soft yet fiery gaze. But something older. Wearier.-the young queens gaze again-but a queen nonetheless-HE STOOD#Not at his being here as he took up his cane and limped toward Aelin But him Standing Walking-my soul needed this back-the core tale trio#The young queen let out a broken laugh of joy-broken but still joy-and flung her arms around his neck-the fact she wanted to hug him—#the ache & healing they both felt-but Chaol held her right back every question fading from his tongue.-Fire lance?-she’s shaking again#The way she gives him belief-then there she is-she remembered-her core-no one does anything alone-to say I’m happy for you & mean it vibes#hand over the locket-Yrene Towers the queen breathed as his wife stepped 2 his side The women stared at eachother-YRENE WESTFALL-notCelaena#I knew youd do it-goes both ways-Thank you-those words in this book-it was all that really needed to be said-smiling through tears#Aelin closed her eyes smiling through her own tears and when she opened them she took Yrene's shaking hands-choked joyous laughs-MY SOUL#Rowan stepped up to her side-Aelin said Lady Westfall my husband Prince Rowan Whitethorn Galathynius-the my wife we deserved#emerald mud-splattered but bright-she sure got those emeralds dropping hints literally in EoS-pine green-Nesryn Aelin friendship core#My mate Aelin added fluttering her lashes Rowan rolled his eyes yet couldn't entirely contain his smile-next quote why I luv books/TOG#May I keep this?She eyed the locket.Or does it go in there?Its yours as it always was.A piece of ur bravery that helped me find my own#It gave me courage the words you wrote. Every mile I traveled every long hour I studied and worked it gave me courage. I thank you#A spark lit Aelins eyes&both women met halfway in a tight embrace I want to hear the entire story Aelin said Every word of it#They know everything-Ok WELL MANON lol-The keys Holy gods-the story would come then too-true queen-she bowed for them#the voice that came out of her was indeed that of a queen-THEY BOWED BACK-the portrait of courtly grace lol-the letter worked well#Aelin smirked as if the2of them spoke a language no one else could understand 2equally arrogant&proud women-hell yes I needed them#My friends-uncleLOL-my pride-AelinswinkLorcylol-how had this come about?-guttered-Rowan put a hand on her lower back Bad#gestureHasar😂-only civilized Lady Elides name had been crossed out-the1sthat escaped-CunningClear-she could see beneath to the soul#I am sworn2uWould I lie-cursedAs if he'd heard of LorcanGavrielFenrys-where to march once we beat the living shit out of this army-Vher
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boyfriend!toji who doesn’t know why but he feels this weird jealousy everytime he sees you meet your friends and greet them all with a big hug. you never did that with him. you relationship was still fairly new to the both of you, but you kissed you fucked you even held hands sometimes when walking around. but, what toji was now realizing, was that he wanted a hug. well, he wanted a hug from You. not a casual little hug, a hug. holding each other. he didn’t know how to broach the subject without sounding needy and like the complete opposite of how he usually acts. he had never cared about this kinda stuff with other people, he’d never experienced it growing up and he thought he could live without it. until you. until you showed him that wanting to be held was normal. he’d been thinking about it for a while until one night, as the two of you got ready for bed it simply slipped out.
‘how come you don’t hug me?’
immediately you stopped plaiting your hair and turned to him with a shocked look.
‘what?’
‘how come you don’t hug me? like when you see your friends or you say bye you hug them. you don’t hug me.’
as soon as he said it he felt stupid. a grown man like him, older than you and he was sat here asking for a fucking hug. what if you turned the question around and said ‘well you don’t hug me’ what would he say? that i’ve never done that before sorry i don’t know how? his thoughts came to a stop when he felt a small hand grab his own larger one.
‘i- toji im so sorry. i’m sorry i didn’t think that was something you wanted.’
fuck now he’s made you feel bad.
‘nah doll you don’t have to say sorry, its nothing let’s just go to bed’
‘no toji please. let’s talk about it.’
you lifted the blanket and made your way over to his side of the bed so you could sit face to face. everything about you was so soft, so kind. such a complete contrast to himself. he was panicking, he didn’t do stuff like this, never talked about stuff like this.
‘honestly toji, i really just thought you weren’t a touchy person. i’m sorry for just assuming especially considering everything you’ve been through,’
‘no please doll. i wasn’t trying to blame you for anything. i just’
his palms were actually sweating, but your face. god your darling sweet face, looking at him like he hung up the stars in sky. like every word out of his mouth meant the world to you. you would wait for him to get the words out no matter how long he took.
‘i don’t know to be honest. you’re right i’m not a touchy person i’ve never really hugged anyone. but i want that. with you. and im sorry, i should be the one to initiate it i just didn’t really know how doll.’ his voice was so quiet, just a rough whisper.
he looked up to stare into your glassy eyes when you leaned in and kissed him. a small whisper of a kiss.
‘can i hug you?’ you said with your lips pressed against his.
he knew you knew he would prefer not to dwell on it.
and then he wrapped his arms around your back so tightly like he was showing the universe just how bad he needed you. he pulled you into his lap and let his cheek fall to your shoulder. he felt your arms wrap around his neck and you fingers stroking the hairs at his nape.
neither of you spoke, you simply sat and held each other and made a silent promise to maintain the closeness from today onwards.
‘thank you for telling me toji. you big baby.’
‘yeah that’s enough. time for bed.’
your giggle was music to his ears.
#toji x reader#incredibly sad#soft toji save me#jjk x you#jjk toji#toji fluff#jjk fluff#jjk#toji headcanons#toji x you#toji x y/n#jujutsu kaisen toji#toji zenin#jjk headcanons#jjk drabbles#jjk fic rec#jjk fic#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#fluff#jujutsu kaisen#jjk smut#jjk angst#toji angst#hurt/comfort#toji comfort#jujutsu toji#angst with a happy ending
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It’s almost 6 a.m and I can’t sleep because I’m being plagued by thoughts of The Latest OC
#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#Jia is genuinely making me lose my mind#right now the aftermath interests me a bit more because I live for emotional whump and angst#just.. imagine being her parents#you beg for your daughter’s life and your plea is listened to. she’s released. having proved herself useless. you barely recognise her#she’s nothing like the upbeat and cheerful girl you raised who loved working in this palace. who loved her lady#she’s so thin. hollow cheeks and empty eyes. she barely reacts to anything but Lord Jusamah’s voice which makes her flinch#you’re afraid to even hug her in case she disappears like a ghost would. something is very very wrong with her#you remember the rumours that she was tortured for the information. she looks like she’s starving#it’s clear she was hurt. she wouldn’t act like this if she wasn’t. you’re scared to think of what is hidden beneath her clothes#you want to lunge at Lord Jusamah and strangle him with your bare hands. inflict everything he’s done to your daughter on him tenfold#but you can’t. he’s rich and you aren’t. he has power and you don’t. if you try.. none of you are seeing the sun ever again#you barely care. it would be worth it. but you have two other children to worry about. and Jia deserves her freedom#so all you can do is drop to your knees. press your forehead to the floor. and thank him for his kindness#you tell Jia that you’re taking her home. alertness returns to her for but a moment#‘home?’ her whisper sounds so sad. so broken. you can barely stand it#you rush home as fast as you can. she’s so skittish it hurts. she feels the sun on her face and doesn’t move for a good 10 minutes#you can’t bring yourself to say anything. one of you goes ahead to warn the family so the children won’t crowd her#you finally make it to your house and Jia looks at it as if it was a mirage. she touches the wall to ensure it’s real#the first thing you do is help her take a bath. the sight of her back fuels you with bloodlust. there’s no untouched spot on it#your sweet gentle girl was whipped until criss crossing scars covered every last inch. it must have been hell#you bandage her wounds and take her to eat. she gorges herself on it as if someone would take it away. some light returns to her eyes#she always had a good appetite. at least that didn’t change. after lunch you let her sleep in your own bed#instead of making her share with her siblings and cousins. she needs space. she passes out the second her head hits the pillow#you stay and keep watch. and when the first night terror occurs. you’re ready. her screams are impossibly loud#you wake her. calm her down and hold her hand as she falls back asleep. recovery won’t be an easy road#but you walk it anyway. and with time. she gets better. she returns to her old self. only some traces of that horror remain#she’s happy again. smiles a lot. helps out. plays with the younger kids. she’s the Jia you know and love#she has nightmares. her scars hurt. no one touches her back. she’s paranoid about food. but she’ll be okay. you’re sure of it#(I reached the tag limit again but at least I said all I had in mind. but I could probably ramble on about this for ages…)
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Loserboy!Gojo who eats you out and doesn't care that his sunglasses are getting fogged up and smudged. He also doesn't care that the two of you might get caught in the library — even though it's already happened once. He needs to touch himself thru his pants while eating you out; his cock is just so stubborn that it refuses to cum unless he's got a mouthful of your pussy. Whimpering as he aggressively strokes himself, loserboy!Gojo treats his sensitive cock so roughly as he begs you to let go and squirt all over his face and oh it's almost funny watching his pretty eyes flutter shut when he goes into that Zen-like state — his lashes subtly quiver as he laps at your folds 'n slips his tongue into you over and over, eating you out 'till he's gasping... 'till he's got moans spilling out his glossy lips and... and... wait a minute, he's eating it as if he's the one getting pleasure? Loserboy!Gojo eats it like, uh, you know, like he's the slut. You've heard of cockwhore well he's a basically a pussywhore, inhaling as he noses in it and rolling his eyes back like he's getting a high just from that. After long days of boring lectures, he's frothing at the mouth in anticipation of meeting you in the parking lot where he starts out just making out with you against the car door and eventually ends up diving between your legs in the backseat to get a taste of his favorite dessert. "I've been waiting for this all fucking day." he gasps, pretty blue eyes fixated on your pussy; your lips, your puffy clit, your twitchy hole. He's obsessive. He's crazed. Frenzied. Doesn't even bother holding back his slutty, boyish moans as his lips latch onto your clit. He suckles at it 'till you nest your hands in his soft hair. Oh my god he's holding lovesick eye contact with you when you do this. Loserboy!Gojo won't let go of your thighs or let you pull even an inch away from his mouth — overstimulated? Uh, yeah, so? Why not let his mouth over-overstimulate you?? Okay, sure, he'll pout and throw a tantrum but he'll let you go for now, 'cause he knows in exactly two hours he'll be showing up at your door with a guilty horny smile on his face asking if he can come inside, "I missed you." he says throwing his arms around you and hugging you like he's been apart from you for years, "You missed me? Satoru... we had classes together all day." and he gives you this pleading puppy look, "I knowww, but we didn't get to talk much..." and he's so eager to talk to you... by 'talk' I mean mumble obscenities on your pussy. He's smiling to himself because he's got you on his face in minutes. It's just the perfect way to end the day for him. You're spasming thru your second orgasm when he rasps out underneath your shuddering body; "Well she definitely missed me, huh? No, no I can breathe juuust fine... c'mon, ride my face — please."
#mdni#smut#tw: smut#gojo smut#jjk smut#gojo x reader smut#gojo satoru smut#satoru smut#satoru gojo smut#satoru x reader#gojo x you#satoru gojo x reader#gojo x reader#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader smut#gojo satoru#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jjk x you
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#posting on my tumblr blog again#comfortingly uneventful day at class today#a day in-between days kinda day you know#piercingly clear sky. weather warm like a hug#// could really use one ngl. not any more cringe at this point to say that right#// but there’s almost no one in the world i’d like to touch me like that. so.#bought something new from the cafeteria today… it was delicious#sunset was beautiful on the drive to the train station#you’re literally so lovely bro#i don’t know what to do with myself#got me and my playlists and the future stretching out in front of me like a judge’s sentence#i’m just so very fond of you#cold hands#yes your bruised knuckles were very interesting. muay thai ftw let’s go#u didn’t know but i was overcome with the strange urge to kiss them#i prolly woulda gotten a black eye for that#fag moment. stupid#wanted to hold ur hand for longer 😐😐😐 i always wanna touch u so bad#i got a headache#think i need water#damn vending machines at the inter building are always broken#why am i sleepy it’s only 8pm#like i think i love love you#Spotify
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i’m bi-demi(?)-romantic which means i’m attracted to men who will be nice to me and Deco*27’s “The Vampire” Hatsune Miku
#i have genuinely never obsessed over a female character like I have with vampire miku#i want her to hold me sweetly . i want to hold HER sweetly. wanna hold hands and hug and eat sweets together…#i may not show it online or on my face#but if i’m ever longing it’s usually for her#i miss my vampire miku nendroid#i want her pop-up-parade figure so bad .#deco*27 when will you let me order merch from your store PLEASE#an open letter
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