#let me be a dumb bitch in my feelings in peace

[allmannerofmalady]

In continuation of my clownery, I started a new DATV playthrough because my beloved Inquisitor looked so jarring I had to remake her and replay like 20 hours of the game. But hey, I made peace with the fact that I am playing DATV to wrap up Inquisition and get an ending scene at this point, I'm not currently foreseeing a second playthrough, so I gotta do it right, y'know?

Spoilers, and me complaining at extreme length, yet again, about my own personal expectations vs reality into the void. Please ignore if DATV negativity is something you prefer to stay away from, protect your peace & what you enjoy.

So I replay HOURS. I'm having fun killing everything as fast as I can - I don't know what it is about playing as a rogue in this game that has tickled my ADHD brain so much, but I'm surprisingly really good at the arrow bonanza and relentless enemy aggro?! This turn based bitch? I digress.

I see my bb Inquisitor Lavellan - she still doesn't look like herself, but I can live with it. She got some ill-advised fillers in Tevinter, she's been through a lot, let her LIVE.

This time around my strategy is pure lore hunting. I'm getting every codex, I'm SQUEEZING this playthrough for whatever lore/easter eggs I can get because idk if I'm going to play again. I got all of Solas' murals early on, got Mythal's essence before Weisshaupt even, I think. BUT WAIT! I have one more treat! The locked room in the Lighthouse! Solas' study! There must be something juicy for all the effort, right? RIGHT? :'D

I know it's been beaten to death, but PERSONALLY, the game still feels incredibly flat to me, jarringly so. If I'm in the Dreadwolf's home, I want to snoop. I want Rook to look through his library, his books, his garbage bin. I even remember the devs saying they wanted being in the Lighthouse to feel an old friends house, or something? I could be wrong, my brain is fried. It's not just a Solas thing - I'm playing this game because I'm desperate for info about the characters I love, but as Rook, we are IN Solas' HQ and I want to rip open the floorboards. I'm trying to RP as much as I can RP in this G.

Anyway, I was so thirsty for something more, something deeper than just these lovely environments I cant do much with, and notes on how Solas hoards raisins - so I collected the wisps and did all the things to unlock the second door in the Lighthouse, forever booboo the fool, thinking I would get an easter egg or something. Trying to stay positive.

No. NO. I got some gear, another empty room Rook has no comments on, and fine, some of Solas' observations on the anchor.

Back to backflipping and shooting arrows in the air, and wanting to grab Emmrich by the beautiful lapels to shake him and ask about the Pentaghast family. Where's my WIFE --

On to the Weisshaupt mission, which was actually ridiculously fun to play - until I was told Weisshaupt is gone haha wow great love that at least the Inquisitor & gang are keeping Southern Thedas safe *subtle foreshadowing* 😃🤞 weeee

I was SO MAD at myself for expecting more like the clown that I am, it was something dumb but just annoyed me all over again and got me all… opinionated 🫠

So, I'm mad again. I cannot begin to articulate my feelings about the incredible amount of storylines and lore we've lost with the decisions made in DATV's writing - they've already been written so eloquently by much greater minds than myself. SO I'm just laughing my way through the pain 🤡

People pleaser that I am, I see other creators I've followed and loved for ages defend the game's choices, tell others they lack media literacy, that your criticisms mean you have rose tinted glasses about the previous games - whatever, your opinion can be valid without tearing others down. So, I genuinely thought something was wrong with me for being so hung up on details. But I can't even engage in fan theories anymore because I'm so jaded at this point. When I see new deep dives into lore-based theories on the game, 99% of the time my mind goes "There is no deeper meaning. They just wanted to wrap it up." Why do you think this thing happened? What do you think that thing is hinting? Nothing. And this is coming from someone who played all the games, owns all the novels, art books, World of Thedas I and II, the bloody Inquisitor lamp from the BioWare store LOL, I was primed and ready to engage in these conversations, but I can't. I have nothing to say that won't end in a cynical answer, and maybe that's because I'm also jaded by working in the game-adjacent VFX industry.

The factions are, yet again, fun but shallow, the logic confusing, and lack much of a backstory for Rook (I think Grey Wardens and Mourn Watchers seem to be the best developed from other reviews and playthroughs, I've only played extensively as a Shadow Dragon, to be fair). Why are you a mage in this one faction? Why are you a rogue in another when it doesn't make sense without a story to support it? It's all this beautiful candy floss that melts away the minute I stop and think about it. And then the cynic in me thinks - these are probably vestiges of the live service part of the game that EA was pushing for. I have to slap myself and stop looking for deeper meaning within corporate decisionsssss there is no swimming pool behind that closed door you needed 7 wisps for 😃

I desperately did not want this to be the case. I was hyped. I preordered the game and organized vacation around it, I'm too old and dealing with way too many crappy personal things to just be a hater for the sake of being a hater. Gaming and Dragon Age are my comfort spaces. But for the LIFE of me, I can't imagine playing DATV again once I finish, let alone more times than I can count like the previous games. Or imagine listening to 4 hours of Youtube videos of party banter to analyze, or even imagine how companions would react to certain things because they feel so stiff. Everything is beautiful, but sterile.

I do love Emmrich - I'm enjoying his storyline and romance, it's like the loveliest most whimsical Vincent Price Pixar romance, but still, something is always missing with the characters even as some do grow on me. I can't imagine anything close to just the party banter ALONE between Solas and Iron Bull. Cole. Fenris and Anders. And to be clear - the whole DA was GRITTY and DARK, DAO supremacy - NOT ME. I love all the games but they have always been whimsical and silly, cringey at times, and did not take themselves seriously. I remember doing the quest where Hawke is running around trying to keep Aveline's date with Donnic from going south, cracking up at how ridiculous it was, and just thinking - gods I LOVE this game.

Speaking of romance, while I'm enjoying how sweet the romance with Emmrich is, when I see others complaining about lack of spice... ahem. I still cannot get over the art style when it comes to characters. This is subjective, and a me problem - I still find it jarring. I don't like the proportions, the bloom, how smooth everyone looks. They still mostly look like cartoons to me, with no body hair and the big heads, and I find everyone's hands so distracting because they look like plasticine. I'm ok with no spice between these characters with their current designs lol let me leave it at that. Ok, except for Felassan and Solas, chef's kiss, no notes.

Solas and story elements directly around him still mostly hold the familiar weight, for the most part. I think credit goes to his amazing VA and the strength of what was likely written for his arc from the very start, before the rewrites and dev hell the game went through. I still have opinions, obviously, but even as a ride or die Solavellan I don't like having the Solavellan angle hijack conversations, so I'm not going to go there. If I'm going to criticize stuff I'll do it as a gamer/DA fan first, egg lover and apologist second.

As I reach the end of Act 2, the game continues to makes me feel like I'm stripped of all agency after a lifetime of playing choice-based games. I talk to companions when it allows me to, then they are relegated to set dressing. My conversation choices all feel the same, or don't match what I'm choosing sometimes. The Lighthouse does not feel like the vibrant hub it was sold as. I am on quests I mostly cannot accept or reject. I cannot interact with my surroundings unless it is gameified (light a candle, move a crystal). The companions abilities are all just - platforming? I know I sound hyperbolic, but it's all I can see currently.

I played Persona 5 from end to end, twice. I played FFXVI. I loved both, had no issues with their linear storytelling, and how the game led you to their end points. Those games are not DA, they did not have the expectations you would have from a BioWare title 10 years in the making. You were not lured in by tales of an incredible character creator, teased about what might be coming from previous games, told this was a sequel to an immersive fantasy RPG series in a beloved fantasy world where the defining studio mechanic was CHOICES MATTER, even when they changed a lot of other things from title to title. In P5/FFXVI you were Clive, you were Joker, you were playing out their story. They were not direct sequels to anything. I'm loathe to be seen as a mindless critic who just wants to shit on things, but a part of me does feel emotionally manipulated for $$$. I still resent how much hype was built for the game by maligning the previous ones (we're fixing Inquisition's mistakes!!).

I'm back to my mission of finishing the game I paid for, enjoy what I can, and get my Solavellan ending scene cause I'm down BAD for literally the only ship I have ever shipped🧍🏻‍♀️I appreciate that it was included. But also - wow does it exacerbate what wasn't included for everyone else's choices.

Something I hate is how everyone immediately jumped on the Baldur's Gate 3 comparisons - BG3 was a life changing game for me, but it's not perfect, and the comparisons are not fair. The one thing I will say is that when I first played BG3, despite its issues and the later criticisms of how Larian reacted to pressure from fans, I remember my earliest impression was - it feels good to be respected as a player. I didn't feel the game was talking down to me, and I got SO much for what I paid for (700 hours baybeee). Jaheira and Minsc were included as companions in homage to the previous games. Yes, they did Viconia dirty, nothing is perfect - but for example, Jaheira would tell you about her husband Khalid from the original games, which came out in 1998 and 2000. There was a lot of world building/easter eggs that not everyone was familiar with or even noticed, because not every player played BG1 and 2, or were familiar with DND 5e - but it was included. Drizzt Do’urden was mentioned ffs, they didn’t overthink about who read those books or not. I’m aware of my biases and I may very well be looking through rose tinted glasses, but I did not feel like the information was presented like I was dumb, or "ah they'll never understand this - SCRAP IT". It just feels like it’s there to honour the past and out of love for the world Larian were playing in.

I don't feel that respect for the player in DATV, I'm sorry. There is love there, but as hard as I try, it feels like it's there despite of the overall design of the game, not part of it. I keep remembering interviews before the game was released and things that were promised, and I don't see it. At all. No more meaningless fetch quests!! Most companion-focused game! The quests are largely boring or formulaic, but addictive and fun because they are so packed with mindless combat that my brain enjoys. Sometimes it feels like filler - we didn't know what to add here, FIGHT! You unlocked a poignantly named gate in the Crossroads? NO STORY MORE FIGHT! And I'm eating it up, let me not be a hypocrite, I have 80 hours in the game. But personally, it feels designed to pad out this beautiful, sometimes fun, but bitterly shallow game. I can't even go into companion specifics because I have nothing to say, no story I want to analyze. Some have grown on me, but there is no bite or nuance to the writing that compels me and I have no urge to know more. In the previous DA games I would take the long route wherever I went just to get more banter from my companions, and I was instantly interested in them, even if I disliked them. I've seen the comments, I tried, I don't think it's because "I haven't spent enough time" with the DATV companions.

The level design of long narrow corridors, which do remind me of DA2 and FFXVI, has become so predictable to me that I almost always know exactly where I'm going to find loot. So it becomes this admittedly satisfying run of grabbing and fighting to the end point, getting the dopamine hits of collecting pointless stuff, but not really taking in the environments and enjoying the adventure. The level design is not immersive. These do not feel like real cities or real people, and that was intentional. It feels like “levels”, not a World. No one reacts to a single thing you do. Even in the ultra minimalist style of Zelda BOTW, townspeople would react to things you did. Sometimes I walk up to yet another obvious fight arena where the enemies are just chilling, waiting for me while standing still - almost like they're on shift at a haunted house LOL. I can imagine the Venatori stubbing out a cigarette, "C'mon guys, she's here, showtime". The funny part is this has all been seen before in older games, and it never bothered me. My own expectations and overhype might be to blame, but it feels like a big step back when so many games are stepping forward. Me = clown

I keep going back to my first reaction when the disappointment hit me. It feels like being given Persona 5 Strikers or Hyrule Warriors, and told that it's the sequel to the actual RPG. It's fun, it wears the skin of the thing you like that makes you happy, but stops there.

Other things I shake my fist at

Cheap ass The 6th Sense ass Varric death. Yes, yes, Solas villain arc whatever - it was cheap. Way to honour a multi-game beloved character and the player, even if the time had come for him to die in the story.

No, I cannot find a single redeeming reaction from a companion that makes Varric dying make sense in hindsight, except that they are all made of cardboard. I saw comments saying on a second playthrough it's clear Harding is in mourning - sorry, I don't see it.

So. Dorian, the Inquisitor, Charter, Harding, your party, Maevaris, Isabella, list goes on - not a single one of them asks about Varric or mentions his death? Expresses condolences? Nothing? Cheap. Even if Solas was playing with your mind, doesn't it make the overall characters in the game seem even more wooden and unrealistic to the player? It was not the gotcha they seem to think it is.

When the novelty of the cameos and the emotion associated wore off, they were just flat and felt random. Cassandra should have been there, doing Seeker shit (my WIFE). Ok no cameo? Casual dialogue with Emmrich about having a Nevarran in the Inquisition (or as the Divine?!) Lucanis info dumping about Josephine as an Antivan, Zevran as a Crow, nvm, time for a coffee joke. Merrill, eluvian queen, how is she a nonentity? Habibi Fenris should have been in the Shadow Dragons, spitting on the ground after being approached by Solas to join his uprising (lol what uprising amirite). Ok I'm cooking hire me Bioware 🍳 but at least they can remain untainted by the Isabella Treatment (tm)

This leads into the yeeting of the Keep, world states, choices, and hypocrisy around claiming to want to level the playing field for new players. No, all I can see is - it was treated as a buffet that they picked from as it suited. This is the one disappointment I will never let go of. Facsimile's of beloved character cameos were tossed in, you could not really talk to them outside of what limited dialogue you were allowed. Certain world states are now canon apparently - Dorian being recruited in the Inquisition, Morrigan drinking from the Well etc. You want a reboot and you've committed to tossing the choices and burning down Thedas (literally)? Go down with GLORY! Have all the previous main characters/companions alive. Have them all mentioned, even in passing. A portrait on a wall. Say goodbye to them, get your reboot. Honour what you built your business on. But yeah, Emmrich and Harding get to have their picnic in Fereldan fml bye

The argument of: well, the games are old now, it shouldn't matter. Ah - not too old to capitalize on the IP and DA name? Not too old to use some cameos to lure old players? The argument of - it was too many choices to track. Ok cut them down, but don't go scorched earth? 3 choices, mostly irrelevant to those who don't care about Solas (could never be me), and then literally telling you everything else in the South and Weisshaupt is now razed to the ground. But also the illuminati did everything.

FINALLY - the Inquisition should have been in charge of the hunt for Solas, hill I will die on. Fine, have Rook, but Inquisitor should have been the other protagonist. The people... who knew Solas best and betrayed by him... who were in an organization to save the world... Why did we have that cunty dagger stabbed into the map of Tevinter cliffhanger to have the Inquisitor reduced to a pyjama wearing husk BIOWAAAAAAAARE

It's this stuff that builds up, and makes me think - does this game hate its fanbase and source material that much? I very obviously need to go touch some grass 🤠

I keep engaging with Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter - all to my detriment because it makes me feel like there's something wrong with me for not loving it, all over again. I also desperately have a fic in me I would love to write, an ode to the story in my head from years of loving the world of Thedas, a love letter to my Lavellan and others - but idk what to do with the post-DATV world atp. I just want to get through Act 2/3, get my Solavellan smooch, ignore the ~secret Illuminati ending, and be grateful I'm not a Mass Effect fan so I don't have to go through this again 🐣

[graveyarrdshift]

[bl00dh0rs3]

the way i have absolutely no business being the way i am

[xamaxenta]

kills burnout with my barehands

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

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landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[batfamtv]

ethan landry hate fucking where he extreme overstims you and degrades you?

ethan landry x reader hatefucking dom!ethan, dark/ghostface!ethan

“no, no, you sweet, dumb thing,” a gruff voice huffs from above you, as you whine and yip at the feel of his hips pounding into you vigorously, “you take what i give you. you take my fucking cock.”

you pant, eyes scrunched shut in pleasure, your orgasm building quickly. you turn to hide your face from him, burying yourself into the mattress.

the man, donning the renowned costume and mask, tuts at you, annoyed, “no, don’t you fucking look away from me,” he thrusts into you hard, “i want to see your face.”

you can almost see him grinning at you, whoever this person is. “please…please,” you beg, “i’m c-close…m’gonna c-cum…!!”

at that, the man increases his pace ever more, his cock bullying itself into your cunt so much that it grazes your cervix. but you barely notice, not when you’re so close to cumming, all at the hands of someone you don’t even know. “m’cumming,” you breathe, hands flying to fist the black costume draped over the man’s back, “m’cummin…m’cummin,..oh godddd!”

instantly you’re pushed over the edge and cum, liquid squirting out uncontrollably as your eyes roll to the back if your head.

he laughs, sitting up and slowing down his thrusts, eyes focusing on the wet squelch of your pussy clenching violently around his cock, his cocks, balls, and pubic hair wet with your cum, “fuck yeah,” he cheers gleefully, “nice n tight little pussy.”

one hand moves to circle your clit, fingers slipping all over your cunt as your cum wets his entire hand, all the way down his wrist, “give me some more,” he whispers your name, almost so quietly that you almost didn’t notice.

but the feeling of your throbbing clit being stimulated vigorously is too much, even as your entire body shook, you brought both of your hands around his wrist, begging him to stop, “please, don’t,” you tell him, fat tears streaming down your cheeks, “i came already…i can’t anymore.”

he ignores you, fingers still rubbing your clit as his cock resumes its assault on your cunt, using your own juices as lube, “m’not done yet,” he replies, “you’re gonna cum again on my fingers, and then my mouth, and then…” he grins against his mask as he feels your clit throb almost painfully, and the walls of your pussy contracts weakly around his cock, “…then, i’ll cum, and you’ll finally get your rest.”

you don’t reply, exhausted and overestimulated to the point of passing out, but his hand slaps your cheeks to grab your attention, “m’not done, you little bitch,” he reminds you, before gripping your mouth to force it open, dipping his fingers down your throat, “yeah…taste it…taste your pussy juice,” he’s panting now, pulling his rock hard cock out of the warmth of your cunt, and gingerly raises his mask up to dip his tongue into your folds.

“please, no more,” you whisper, “aah…AAH!!”

you instantly lock up when you feel his tongue on your clit, giving it soft, kitten licks before he dives down to your cunt, dipping his tongue inside. the sounds are perverse, the shlick shlick shlick ringing in your ears as his tongue sticks deep inside you. he rests the tip of his nose on your clit, and when he shakes his head vigorously.

“aahhh, please!!” but he doesn’t let up. you can hear the frantic sound of his hand pumping his cock, and he moans into your cunt, almost drunk in it as he tries to slurp as much of your juices as he can. with a weak shout, your body stiffens again, cumming straight into his mouth, and he moans in pleasure as your taste.

when your legs stop shaking, you couldn’t even move your head to try to get a glimpse of the man who brought your to orgasms thrice, your eyes fluttering shut as everything turns dark, your pussy sated after a long time. he grins when your legs go limp, his hand still pumping his cock.

“ahh, you’re so beautiful baby,” he tells you, now sitting up to watch your peaceful face as he jerks his cock, “so pretty…i’ll give you something to make sure you won’t ever forget about me…about tonight,” as he lines his cock back into your cock and sinking into it with barely any resistance. still.

the heat and wetness makes him moan, and he barely thrusted before shooting his big fat load into your cunt. a huge load that he’s waited the entire night to unload into you. he removes his mask fully, hand moving to caress your face and plant a gentle kiss on your lips, “love you baby girl,” ethan whispers, “you and your perfect little pussy.”

-

working on some of the requests now!

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Part two to this story

After Jason's cruel display and your identity of Eddie's admirer being public knowledge, you're sure he will be disgusted. He hates you and your friends doesn't he?

Turns out you're in for a big surprise.

Minors shoo! Angst, fluff, sweet Eddie and reader taking no shit.

If you have any requests then send me an ask. My request rules are in my pinned post ❤️

🎀💌

Hellfire Slut. The words had practically burned into your brain as you tossed and turned in bed. Jason's cruelty was nothing new but you didn't think he'd ever go this far.

It was bad enough that Eddie's best friend had caught you in the act of delivering the notes and the thought he could spill all to Eddie, you didn't expect your secret to come out in such a public way.

The notes that you had poured your heart to Eddie had been clear to see by everyone and you felt sick to your stomach. You didn't care that people knew you were smitten with Eddie, it was the fact that he was probably disgusted that you had feelings for him.

You dreaded going to school but you knew you had to face Eddie and Jason at some point. It didn't stop nightmares plaguing your mind all night about what would happen come first period.

...

Homeroom was the first thing today before any other classes, you try not to draw attention to yourself as you slide into a seat at the back of class. However it feels like all eyes are on you today, Chrissy takes the seat beside you and holds your hand giving it a tight squeeze, it makes you feel a tiny bit better.

Mrs Jones isn't in class yet so chatter buzzes around you incessantly, your skin tingles as you feel Eddie's gaze on you a few times, try not to look up into those pretty brown eyes.

One of Jason's friends called Tyler smirks at you, he's sitting beside Jason and says loudly for all to hear. "So little miss perfect likes a freak in the sheets huh? Who would have thought?" there's a little ripple of laughter that's quelled by Chrissy's vicious glare. She's normally a sweetie so seeing her pissed shut everyone up.

Ignore him. Just ignore him you chant in your head but he still continues. "You know I was going to ask you out but fuck that. You're a dumb little bitch"

There's a collective silence as you hear Eddie's metal lunchbox drop to the floor. To your surprise he's glaring daggers at Tyler, you also notice that his knuckles are bruised. What the hell happened?

"Oooh you're in luck sweetcheeks, maybe Munson likes you back and the two of you can be freaks together"

You're fraying control over being calm snaps. Screw this. You weren't going to sit and let him run his mouth or let anyone like him or Jason make you cry again.

"You can admit to everyone you're jealous Tyler it's okay. We all heard about the little problem you have, Stacy told us all about how disappointing you are" you fake a sympathetic smile at him and his eyes nearly bug out of his sockets.

Jason looks ready to say something but you don't give the satisfaction of listening to the bullshit he says. "I couldn't be less interested in what you have to say Carver, you're a pathetic, nasty little worm"

While sassing Jason you miss the look of awe on Eddie's face. Gareth snorts at Eddie's stunned look.

"Dude, I really do think I'm in love" Eddie murmurs sounding almost reverent. Gareth sighs. Maybe now Eddie knew it was you that sent the notes the two of you could get together and he could get a minute of peace.

Meanwhile you lean back in your seat relieved as Mrs Jones comes in. There's still a question that's nagging at you though.

"Chrissy, why are Eddie's knuckles bruised?"and that's when Chrissy launches into the tale of how Eddie punched Jason after you left yesterday.

Hearing this makes a small bubble of hope build up inside of you. Maybe just maybe Eddie feeling the same for you might not be as hopeless as you first thought.

...

After a few fruitless attempts Eddie manages to track you down as you're coming out of cheer practice with Chrissy. She gives you an impish, knowing smile as she leaves you and Eddie to talk.

Telling Jason and Tyler what you thought about them made you feel a little bit better for a while, boosted your shattered confidence but now Eddie was around and you could feel that confidence crack.

What was he about to say? Was he going to tell you he was disgusted?

"You don't have to be nervous princess" you feel your nerves dissipate at his soothing tone.

"I know you thought the notes were a joke but they aren't Eddie, I've really fallen for you. I was crushing on you for such a long time. That's why I wrote the notes in the first place, I was worried if I told you in person that you would be disappointed" the words all come out in a rush and you feel relieved getting it all out.

He shakes his head. "I mean I would have been surprised but the way you spoke in the notes...how could you ever think I'd ever be disappointed sweetheart?" His words fill you with hope, a warm and fuzzy feeling in your chest.

"You know because I'm from the dark side" you murmur and he frowns. His hand reaches out to hold yours and you wince at the bruising on his knuckles.

"You didn't need to do that Eddie, I don't want you hurt" he shrugs as if it's no big deal.

"It was worth it. You're worth it"

Eddie gently takes your hand and kisses it, "I fell in love with you through what you said sweetheart, I want to know all about you. I don't give a fuck about who you're friends with or if you're part of the dark side. I just want to be with you".

A slow smile works it's way on your face and you lean forward and kiss him, continue kissing him until you're both a little dazed and smiling goofily at each other.

"Uh maybe we could go out for Milkshakes after school, if you want princess?" you nod feeling the bubble of excitement in your belly.

After all that worrying you were going on your first date with Eddie and you couldn't wait.

Maybe happy endings were possible after all ❤️

[yanderestarangel]

✏ anon request: "Can you write something about smoke holding back his desires because he doesn't want to be pushy or selfish but the reader tells him to let loose? Like a sub!tomas to a rough dom!tomas"

- - - -

TW: hard!dom tomas, sexual fantasies, fetishes, daddykink, breed!kink, spit on mouth, v!sex, blowjob - deep throat, rough sex, dub con, hunter!play, primitive sex, size!kink, bare sex, degradation, oral (f!re), nicknames, ftm!reader, extreme!smut, nsfw, bites, afab anatomy, power play, part.1.

♡ - Tomas has so much built-up lust that it literally physically hurts the poor guy. He was always repressed in many aspects - whether sexual or sentimental - throughout his years of life, he was always the younger brother, the sweet and kind man, the ninja who helped everyone... But even though he repressed his thoughts even more of dominance, inside, something inside the Slav was something more primitive, desires that he could never let out.

♡ - However, you soon entered his life, and to make matters worse, his desires increased even more. He tried to masturbate so he wouldn't take it out on you, but every time he saw you, he just wanted to bend you over the nearest surface and fill you to the brim with his cum, while turning you into a dumb, quivering mess for him. The first few times you had sex were also calmer, with Tomas afraid of hurting you, and not penetrating you, just letting you have fun with his cock, whether sucking it or just rubbing your pussy over his thick length - like I already wrote in another headcanon, Smoke is a guy with an 8-inch dick, in addition to being an extremely muscular man, who can easily break you in half for several reasons - so he just settles for having your orgasm, but from the moment when you tell him to just let go and take everything out on you... This man becomes a hungry beast.

♡ - Tomas will start to be rougher, starting with oral sex. Before, when he was still repressing himself from being a submissive, he would just give calm and peaceful licking and fingering, however, now he will suck your pussy, ordering you to ride his face, slapping your ass and squeezing your breasts - if you you have - while deliciously degrading you, the ninja's husky voice against your sensitive skin, placing your clit between his teeth lightly, making you jump and squirm. "-I've been wanting this, dreaming about fucking you like this, feeling your tight pussy squeezing my tongue like that. You're driving me crazy, baby, you're my whore, aren't you?" he would grunt as he motivated you to rub even more of your wetness against him, you couldn't help but let out a loud squeal, feeling the change in the power dynamic between the two of you, before Vrbada only showered you with affectionate nicknames but now, he treated you like a cheap slut and you.... Loved that.

Tomas has several fetishes, and after the first time you authorize him, he will use them all on you, whether they are:

♡ BREEDING!KINK ♡ With him fucking you raw, the skin on skin drove him crazy, he turned into a mf smug while he had one hand on your neck and the other holding your waist, pounding your pussy roughly, affectionately calling you "my little breeding slut" filling your little pussy with his hot and thick cum, the feeling becomes uncomfortable as he cums inside you so much, but he tells you to squeeze your thighs and not let any drops fall, after all, you are the good boy from him. "-Just keep those pretty thighs closed ok? Yes my pretty bitch, you're a good boy, and good boys close their pussies when told to... I want to see you filled with my kids."

♡ DADDYKINK ♡ Tomas has always had the need to feel in control, so for you to call him "Daddy" while he's so rough, abusing your holes is so amazing to him. He will just use your favorite nicknames while he fucks your throat - forcing you to deep throat him, as he quickly takes his member out of your mouth leaving a burning sensation in your throat, tears running down your face, making the tall man smile and rub the dick in your cheek, hitting the member in your face and returning to the heat of your tongue. "-Oh fuck... Keep sucking daddy's cock will you? You can handle that, can't you? You're just my stupid boy, my cockslave' so beautiful and so needy, just like a good slut would be."

♡ HUNTER!PLAY ♡ Smoke will use his talents as a Hunter to hunt you, an aggressive and primitive sex, with you being his prey - like a lost deer, being sought after by a hungry wolf - he will give you a five-minute advantage to run through the forest, the The sun was setting while you tried to run away... But you knew it was inevitable, and that made you even wetter, after all your boyfriend warned you that the further you went, the rougher he would fuck you. He knew exactly where you were, throwing you to the ground and pinning your neck with his biceps against the dry leaves - his blue eyes shone with a primal hunger and he practically salivated, pulling his already hard cock out of his pants. Smoke held your face, forcing you open your mouth and spitting inside. "-Swallow it my dirty little slut... And get ready, I'm going to fuck you until you can barely mouth my fucking name." He will cover your mouth, isolating your sounds as he fucks you into oblivion, sucking your breasts and leaving you totally marked with bites.

♡ SIZE!KINK ♡ He loves seeing the bulge that builds up in your womb as he continually shoves his cock into your overstimulated hole, placing one of his hands to feel how big it is, and how much it is bouncing inside your little womb. "-Do you feel that? You're taking my cock like a champ, boy... My slutty baby boy just wants me to destroy you... Damn you're a pretty, naughty little thing." Tomas fills you repeatedly with his cum, the feeling of being bigger and stronger than you, being able to break you in half at any moment was intoxicating for him, carrying you all over the house and lifting you in his arms, making you cum and squirt in the his cock several times, and he won't stop, until he sees you limp and about to pass out on his lap, after all, you asked for it.

𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒅 ©𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 2024. 𝒅𝒐 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆.

[lunememes]

🌙 * ― 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 ( a collection of unhinged and relatable things said on discord. feel free to change wording as needed! do not add to the list. )

❛  you know bullying is my love language and you’re still here so… ❜ ❛  i mean... who am i to say no to that. ❜ ❛  hey, some might be into that. i won’t judge. much. ❜ ❛  we can both be dumb but pretty. ❜ ❛  because you wanna know why? fictional men can't disappoint me like real life men can. ❜ ❛ i need someone that’d end the world for me.  ❜ ❛ can’t be sad with dick / pussy. or nice tits.  ❜ ❛  thinking of how they're all old in this movie like wow i love dilfs and milfs. ❜ ❛  he fucking is like a ROACH, CAN'T EVER GET RID OF HIM. ❜ ❛  [name] do not encourage their antics, I BEG OF YOU. ❜ ❛  don't bully me, i'll cry. ❜ ❛  [name]..... why are you such a people pleaser. ❜ ❛  i am an indecisive bitch okay. ❜ ❛  don't squish his TUMMY! ❜ ❛  fair enough but what did you do dumb bitch? ❜ ❛ i have a flyswatter, i will smack him.  ❜ ❛  oh god yeah, add that motherfucker as well... the hate list grows. ❜ ❛  he gets no peace in any universe. ❜ ❛  if they get hurt, they get hurt. ❜ ❛  no love… there is no love in this house. ❜ ❛  truly, the braincells are not in my head. ❜ ❛ i wanna grab his waist. ❜ ❛  they just… need to fuck the anger out. ❜ ❛  could be worse but i'm judging. ❜ ❛ yes, oil me up baby.  ❜ ❛  don't you shush me. ❜ ❛  how dare you make me NOT distracted. ❜ ❛  i'm sure you've seen each other naked before, this is nothing new. ❜ ❛  suffer. ❜ ❛  i ... fucking THIEF. ❜ ❛  old men are just superior. ❜ ❛  sometimes people just deserve to be stabbed. ❜ ❛  bisexuals don't sit normally. ❜ ❛  i never said i was smart. ❜ ❛  what am i to say about this? want me to kiss your booboos better? ❜ ❛  JOKES ON YOU, I ACTUALLY DO, AHAHAHAHA. ❜ ❛  we both know you have a mask kink. ❜ ❛  kick him six feet under. ❜ ❛  to be fair i only killed those at the gate. ❜ ❛  well sooooorry, can't all be goody-two-shoes like [name]. ❜ ❛  i'm gonna murder you. ❜ ❛  it's because you're OLD. ❜ ❛  we're just ... too nice for our own good. ❜ ❛  and then you got sweaty [name] out here going batshit crazy and killing a whole building of people. ❜ ❛  we are in fact too dumb and yet here we are. ❜ ❛  actually i'm a liar, i'd let a lot of men get it. ❜ ❛  oOP NOT ME SEEING ANOTHER VIDEO/PICTURE AND I THINK HE'S FINGERING HER. ❜ ❛  he's adorable when he isn't being a gremlin and trying to randomly bite me. ❜ ❛  it’s in my contract of existing to bully everyone. ❜ ❛  well clearly you enjoy it since you’re still here. ❜ ❛  feeling a little called out? ❜ ❛  anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. ❜

[pxuvalentinx]

Atta girl ✧ High Noon Yone x fem!reader tw: degradation, creampie, abuse (i think??), spanking, forced breeding, dub con (if theres anything else let me know<3) an: i wrote this a while ago when hn yone got first leaked, so if any new lore dropped - i wouldn't know. ✧ ˚ 　· 　　 . You swore to yourself that you’d kill every single one of those damn devils — without a single exception. You promised to avenge all the poor souls that got killed by those who made a pact with a devil. Not only that, but you’d give your life to free the west from its curse. It was the least you could do after failing so miserably to save others. So why were you bent over the saloon counter while a man rutted into you? Why were you moaning and whining his name? The name of a man who had made a pact with a devil. Bounty hunter Yone. Such an ironic title when you consider that there’s a high bounty on him as well. He hated devils, too — more than anything. His hatred took him so far that he became one of them. And god, you were thankful for it. Your thoughts were clearly getting manipulated by your tight cunt that was squeezing around his girth so deliciously that it made him growl into your ear. He wasn’t even trying to be quiet — the saloon might’ve been empty, but he wanted everyone to hear that walked by, how he was fucking this once so proud and snobbery woman into his little bitch. How she slowly became his dumb slut. Yone’s hands were on your hips as he thrusted into you from behind, pressing his pelvis against your ass while he leaned forward to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. One hand wandered up your throat, grabbing your chin with it and pulling your head back. His lips were barely two inches away from yours — “Aren’t ya just so pathetic?” He purred. “Just half an hour ago ya were soooo confident about killin’ me, tellin’ me how much ya hated ‘my kind’, how selfish I am, and now… You’re soakin’ and suckin’ in my cock like it’s ya’s life purpose.” The low growl in his voice was making your walls flutter around his dick. You hated to admit how good this felt. His hands were cold, freezing even. They sent shivers down your spine with every touch. He had this frightening and overwhelming aura that seemed to become more distinct with every thrust. His hand let go of your face after he saw the tears roll down your cheeks, proud of his work. From the corner of your eye, you could see his cocky grin. 

squeeze 

“Oh, fuck…!” He cursed. “Makes you this horny? Nasty bitch. Gon’ teach ya a lesson… Make…Ah~ ya regret facin’ me.” Your walls kept pulsating around his cock, massaging all of it like your cunt was made for him. It was driving him crazy, low grunts escaping his throat. 

He spread your ass cheeks with his two broad hands - one gloved. Groans of satisfaction as he looked at the sight. Letting go of one and giving it a hard smack right after, leaving a stinging pain which made you whine out. Music to his ears. Another smack. 

And another.

And another. 

“That ass already looked good in those tight ass jeans ya were wearin’ - but I didn’t expect it to look this good without ‘em” He could feel himself getting harder at the sight, growing even bigger inside of you. “Gon’ make you ride me next time. Want to see that pretty ass bounce on my fat cock. Better show me how much of a cowgirl ya truly are.” 

You turned your face to him, where he was already looking at you with the same cocky smile he had before. The pale skin in combination with his flaming orange eyes made your heart skip a beat. You never thought you’d think of a devil as handsome. Tears were streaming down your face as he continued to abuse your cunt to the best of his abilities. 

Yasuo warned you of him — No, everyone warned you of him, but you didn’t want to listen. You were so confident in being able to defeat him, in being able to get one step closer to peace in the west. And here you were, squirming underneath him, sobbing because his cock just hits all the right spots too damn good, begging him to fuck you harder, to abuse your cunt just a little more because in reality you were a pathetic masochist, who loved that he treated you like a piece of fuck meat. You were begging him to fill you up with his hot seed, to make a mess out of you and your cunt - to mark it as his. 

You didn’t care about the peace of the west anymore. All you could think about was Yone’s cock buried deep inside your pussy while his hands were kneading your ass in such a nice but rough manner. You wanted to cum all over his dick again and again and again. 

“Oh shit, darlin’ - gonna cum. Gon’ fill your tiny little pussy with my seed, ya want that? Fuck~ Tell me how badly ya want it, sweetheart. Tell me how badly ya want to get bred by me.” Yone commanded, the same low husky tone as before. 

Oh, how much this man turned you on, with his stupid low voice and his stupid grunts. “Yo- Ah~ Fuck… Please…fill me up…” 

“Atta girl!” 

His sloppy thrusts eventually ended up in him burying himself deep inside you, filling you up with all he has. The twitching feeling of his cock and the noises he made really hit you hard, making you squirt around him, ruining his chaps. Soft whines and pants leaving your lips. Yone threw his head back at the feeling, his hat almost falling off his head.  A split second before he pulled his cock out, looking at his cum oozing out of your cunt. Yours and his fluids were mixing together on the floor. He slurred out some quiet words, while spreading your pussy to really take in the view. "Think ya can take another round?"

[evolnoomym]

Secrets and Lies 🌜

Gilf!Joel Miller, Dilf!Jack Miller x f!reader

Pt.1🌛 | Main Masterlist | Joel Miller Masterlist

Summary: The filthy Adventures continue, but now Jack joins the fun. Together they make your dream of taking them at the same time come true. But what about James?

Rating: 18+ mature content mdni!!!!

Word count: 4.5k

Authors note: Finally we got the long awaited Part 2. I hope y’all enjoy cuz I put a lot of energy into this and yes it’s filthy so don’t look at me. 👀🤭

Warnings: no y/n, female reader, Moon is not a name necessarily but more a nickname, age-gap, controversial age gap, cheating, infidelity, unethical I guess, Joel doesn’t need blue pills, 2 other male OC’s, Joel=Grandpa Jack=Son James=Grandson, Moon has tits and a vagina, hair pulling, male receiving oral, female receiving oral, use of a butt plug, ass eating, fingering, deep throating, cream pie’s, fluff in between, nipple licking & biting, anal and vaginal penetration, dp, sucking+biting, Moon bites too, dildo use, lotsssssss of lube, ambiguous ending,

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Shoutout to @cafekitsune & @saradika-graphics for the dividers and big thank you to @joelmillerisapunk & @jennaispunk for beta reading. <3

Credit for the Gilf!Joel Pic in the Moodboard goes to @iamasaddie 😈

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. 😅🫶🏻

🌜Songs that are the vibe🌛:

Crush - Ethel Cain

Love Is a Bitch - Two Feet

Guys My Age - Hey Violet

You Don’t Own Me - SAYGRACE, G-Eazy

Moth To A Flame - The Weeknd

BITCH - Allie X

Oh Child - The LION

Let Me Love You - Mario

I’m Yours - Isabel LaRosa

Love Game - Lady Gaga

BABYDOLL - Ari Abdul

Les - Childish Gambino

After Jack had walked in on you and Joel, not a whole lot changed. In fact it seemed to only have gotten better for you. Who in their right mind would say no to two absolute hunks. Admittedly Joel had caught your eye first, but it was not undeniable that Jack was just as hot. Both are older men, mature, dominating and they know exactly how to treat a woman right. That dumbass of a boyfriend could never compare. James didn’t care about you, he was only focused on his own pleasure, but you know how pathetically he likes to brag about what a wonderful boyfriend he is. Perhaps you are not entitled to complain, you had cheated first, you are not good either but it’s worth it.

Every weekend the Millers have a family dinner, which of course being James girlfriend, you also get to attend those functions.

You are out on the back porch that oversees Joel’s beautiful lush garden, standing right by the railing, sipping on the aperol spritz that Jack had prepared for you. While the bitter sweet liquid easily goes down your throat, you watch James sit on a lounger by the pool, animatedly talking into his phone. Always busy talking to his bro’s.

As you frown into your drink you hear the glass doors slide open behind you. Picking up on their gruff, deep yet calming tone makes you immediately care less about the disappointment of another evening practically being ignored by your boyfriend.

Your frown turns into a smirk when they each come to a stop beside you and you can feel their eyes on the sides of your face.

They are equally accessing you, while you silently continue to sip on your beverage.

It’s funny, you are convinced that even if James would pay attention. Really look at you, he wouldn’t realize how not only his Father but also his Grandfather are undressing his Girlfriend with their eyes.

He is that dumb.

Joel is the one to break the peaceful quiet atmosphere. “Talkin’ to his goddamn buddies again, isn’t he?” A shiver runs up your spine from hearing his deep baritone so clear and close.

You scoff “Isn’t that what always happens, what did we expect, huh?”

Closing your eyes momentarily, you inhale deeply before continuing “But it’s not like I don’t have way better company, right?” You turn to Joel and then to Jack giving them both the smile they love seeing on your face.

“S’ right baby, you are in good hands.” Jack muses.

You look ahead smugly giggling.

“Why don’t you prove it?” It’s a challenge, would they dare to touch you when James is not far away. The flowy short skirt you decided to wear gave them the perfect opportunity and sure enough it didn’t take much longer before you felt two big warm hands slowly sliding down your back.

The sensation made your breath hitch and your mouth went dry, making you throw back the last bit of Aperol Spritz. Those big wandering hands made you feel incredibly flustered, you are pretty sure you must look like a tomato, all flushed. You could easily blame it on the unrelenting heat or the alcohol coursing through your body.

Both hands slipped past your skirt's hem, gently touching the back of your thighs and when they slide back up pulling the hem with them. One hand carefully stuffed the hem into the waistband of the skirt to secure it and you looked down at yourself to make sure the front looked unaffected.

Their hands are groping and kneading your ass cheeks so deliciously, it’s impossible to not get wet from their ministrations. Of course they can tell you struggle to keep your arousal concealed, your clenched thighs, elevated breathing, tense jaw and iron grip on the railing are already enough indication.

Either they had this situation all planned out or they are just truly that good at silently communicating. Without a saying a word, one hand move to pull your thong aside, while the other one sweeps through your moist folds, collecting a decent amount before pulling away.

Said hand which you now figure out belongs to Jack is held right in front of your face. You can smell the sweet-salty musk of your own juices on his fingers.

“Look at that baby, she’s messy, drooling all for us, ain’t she?” Your head turns to Jack, you are met with a questioning head tilt and a big smirk adorning his face. Whenever you look at them you ask yourself how you got so lucky. Jack, just like his Father, is insanely stunning. Fluffy dark brown hair, blue-grey eyes, a strong painted nose, his 3-day beard and those lips you loved feeling on your own.

It’s obvious that they enjoy playing with you.

“Go ahead Moon Love, say it, who does that little cunt belong to, huh?” He nods at you encouragingly.

“S.s..she he belongs to you” you nod stammering through the everlasting throbbing of your core.

“ ‘s a good girl, god job darlin’” Joel’s voice has your head whipping around to him. You can’t help yourself from smiling at his handsome face. Even though he’s 60 years old, you can’t deny how incredible attractive he is. His grey-white slicked back hair, the slight wrinkles around his eyes from smiling and that goddamn mustache have you wake in the knees. He’s a masterpiece.

You feel light headed, like floating, all from being sandwiched between them.

The three of you are swiftly pulled from the cloud y’all had been on by the sound of someone approaching.

Joel quickly slides your thong and skirt back in place, while Jack sucks on his fingers that had just been between your thighs. The obscene slurping noises made it hard to focus on James that suddenly decided he wanted to be part of the conversation.

You meet him halfway up the porch and he immediately slides his arms around your waist, pulling you close to his chest.

“What are we talking about,hm? Did Moon talk y’all’s ears off too about her new plant. Had that on the ride here.” He scoffs but tries to make it appear jokingly, when everyone already knows he is just being a condescending asshole for no reason.

“Nah was all us borin’ the pretty thing with our baseball nonsense, wasn’t it Jack?” Your heart soars at the way Joel perhaps not super subtly comforts you. He despises his Grandson for being such an inconsiderate boy.

When James acts like this, you feel less and less bad about what happens in secret and all the lies you tell him.

Whenever you leave for Joel’s residence you tell your boyfriend you just want to catch up with your old friends and like the idiot that James is, he assumes you’re going to Sammy’s. You met her when you went to school to become a Kindergarten Teacher, she lives a couple hours away, that fact leaves you with enough time to spend playing with your two favorite Men in the world.

Every week, usually once, sometimes twice when the desperate need to feel their hands on your body takes over you meet up with them. In the beginning Jack was not allowed to participate, no, he could only watch from his seat how his Father defiled that sweet young girl. As much as Joel wanted to share, he struggled letting someone else have a piece of the cake, you were his precious Angel after all.

It felt so good when Joel let him eat you out for the first time and judging the iron grip Jack had on your hips, he seemed to be very excited as well. Unrelentingly lapping at your core until you came on his tongue screaming his name.

The frustrating part was that they never worked on you at the same time, which something you wanted so badly, so Joel offered to get you there.

That’s how you ended up bent over, with your knees planted on his Lazy-Boy, you were facing away from him leaning on the headrest.

“Moon Love, i know ya want to get these slutty holes filled,” he said while dragging his pointer finger down your drooling pussy and circling your puckered asshole “But I gotta prep ya for that first, can’t jus’ take the both of us without any training,hm?”

You know he’s right, they would probably hurt you if the preparation gets skipped, besides who said that couldn’t also bring you pleasure.

“Yes, I’m sorry, you are right Daddy. How will you do it?” You look over your shoulder back at him kneeling between your spread thighs, you really want to know what he had planned.

“Atta girl,” as he rose to his full height he clasped both cheeks roughly giving them a generous squeeze and pulling them apart to get another clear look at your tight hole.

“Jus’ wait a second baby, I’ve got somethin’ for ya,” with that he lets go of you.

The air shifted and you felt another pair of calloused warm hands on your plush behind, just barely grazing you in passing. After rounding you, Jack came to a halt before you and even when kneeling on the Lazy-Boy the crown of your head barely reached his chin.

“What do you think he will do to me?”

You are nervously chewing on your bottom lip and Jack reaches up with two fingers to pull it free. With the same two fingers he cradled your chin and tips your head up. “Don’t worry darling, whatever the old man has planned for you will be enjoyable. Ya know he got that experience he always brags about.” He winks at you before softly placing a kiss on your lips. It might’ve been just a quick peck but you immediately feel put at ease.

As you hear Joel come back down the stairs, Jack leans in to whisper in your ear “I’ll stay right here keep an eye on you Moon Love, hm?” When he pulls away he slightly nudges your head, his cheeky attitude makes you giggle. That’s the sound he loves so much that sweet, soft and melodic laughter fills his heart with pride.

You mouth a silent Thank you up at him.

“Ya two lovebirds havin’ fun without me, huh?” You turn your head back to Joel as he’s sitting down on the stool placed behind you. Yeah you definitely know where Jack gets his cheekiness from.

You give him your best cheeky smile “Nuh uh, we would neverrrr do that Daddy,” as you start persuasively rocking your hips from side to side.

“Tsk,tsk what a naughty little tease we’ve caught ourselves here,” you enjoyed when they almost behaved as if you weren’t right there, bend over between them.

“Anyway, I got a lil gift for our sweet girl,” Joel reached behind himself picking up a small rectangular black box and a bottle of…lube? You start frowning “Why do we need lube?”

“Cuz that sweet ass won’t get wet like your pussy baby, we will need lots of lube to make sure you have a good time.” He nods reassuring and hands you the little black box “Go on open it, show Jack what’s in the box,”

So you turn around holding it up to Jack and shake it to see if there’s any indication through sound but nothing happens.

“Okay, come on baby stop playing around and open it I’m curious,”

You slowly lift the lid off and all you see is what looks like a half-moon shaped topaz diamond surrounded by some black foam.

“A diamond?” You are quite confused, both had gotten you gifts before but this seems different.

Joel laughs darkly while gripping your hips “Ain’t for ya finger Angel,” one of his big hands is placed on your spine urging you to arch your back more. Before you can even think about it any longer you feel something wet and warm flickering over your puckered hole. Joel’s tongue. His beard scratches your cheeks so nicely.

“Fuckkkk, th..that feels so good,ughh” you are unable to hold the moans back.

He alternates between using the flat of his tongue on your neglected core and the pointy end on your asshole trying to wiggle his way in.

“Yes, yes Godddd Daddy, don’t stop,”

The shock of the sudden unknown stimulation has you forgetting all about the black box, but luckily Jack is right there. You don’t even register that he has taken the diamond out of its foam casing, until something cold and smooth touches your cheek. When you look up at him he’s holding onto the moon diamond but now you can see that it’s a lot more than just that.

“Wh..what is that?” You struggle to formulate straight sentences with Joel treating your cunt but mainly your asshole like a 4 star dinner.

It looks like an oval shaped metal egg is attached to the diamond, you’ve never seen anything similar before. Jack chuckles at your surprised face “ ‘s a butt plug, sweetheart, used to stretch little holes like yours.” He starts tracing over your lips with the oval shaped ending “open up baby.” Jacks dirty words combined with Joel’s tongue have your thighs quivering, hands clawing at the top of the headrest, breath coming out in short huffs. You are close to unraveling and Joel can feel it by the way your holes are furiously clenching around his tongue.

You do without further notice, dropping your jaw, rolling your tongue out and letting Jack places the cold metal into your warm waiting mouth. You wrap your lips around the toy, sucking and swirling your tongue all around.

“Yeah, atta girl suck on it before we’ll plug up your little ass” he strokes the hair out of your face and pats your cheek affectionately, glancing down at you with an adoration that is strictly reserved for you.

Yes the three of you are doing something forbidden, something that should feel bad, but its more than just mindless sex, more than a impulsive decision. You love Joel and Jack, you’ve reached a point where you can admit to have fallen not only for your boyfriend’s Dad, but also his Grandfather. Sometimes you wish to never have met James, as his part in this situation is more than inconvenient but it was necessary.

You gasp loudly around the metal in your mouth when you sense Joel’s tongue being replaced by one of his thick digits.

“Hm baby, that ass of yours ‘s the best I ever tasted, a goddamn delicacy,” while he slides the tip of his pointer finger through your slit, collecting your wetness and spreading it all over your asshole. “Look at how wet ya got sweet girl, all from that ass played with,huh?”

You reach a hand up to Jacks holding on to the plug, urging him to pull it out and once he dies you turn your head back to Joel.

He feels like the luckiest man alive when you gaze at his weathered face with your fucked out expression and gorgeous smile.

He grabs the lube bottle and tilts his head up at you “want me to put a finger in that tight hole, stretch it out more, before I push that plug in and send ya home to him.”

Before you even have the chance to respond, Joel has already squeezed a generous amount of lube onto your hole. You jump slightly at the cool gel texture that collides with your hot core. “Okay sweetheart, last chance, ya want that finger in your ass, yes or no?” Only now does it occur to you that he actually wants audible consent for what he’s about to do to you. It reminds you how precious this bond is, James, in comparison, rarely cared enough to ask you. He just took what he wanted.

As you continue to trace Joel’s face with your eyes, you reach a hand behind yourself to cup his scruffy cheek “Yes Daddy, I’d love for you to fuck my ass with your fingers, before you plug me up and send me back to him.”

On the ride back to the flat you share with James, you reminisce about how the evening continued to unfold. Joel didn’t just fuck your ass with one finger, no, in the end he stretched you till three of his meaty digits fit.

That alongside his eager mouth sucking on your pulsing clit and Jack whispering sweet filth in your ear, had you coming in no time.

When you started to come down from reaching that high, Joel slowly with more lube added pushed the plug into your winking hole. The previous penetration made it incredibly easy and rather pleasant than uncomfortable.

Before Joel called you an Uber, he gave you intensive instructions on how to use the plug the next few days to help make the goal of taking their cocks at the same time somewhat easier.

Of course to prove that you are a good girl for them, you did just as instructed. Spending every free minute bent over in front of the bedroom mirror alternating between using the toy or your fingers.

Now almost a week later you are currently getting ready in the bathroom for the weekly Miller Dinner, putting the finishing touches to your make up and adjusting your hair. The dress you want to wear already laid out, all that’s left to do is insert the plug and off you go.

James is so obvious he doesn’t question at all why you would be so excited for the routinely Dinner, practically buzzing in your seat, giddily singing to the music blaring through the speakers with a big smile plastered across your face. In your dream you’d like to sandwiched between them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all the time. You miss them the second you leave Joel’s house, only in their company you feel so light and free.

You almost run towards the massive entrance door after James had parked his car but stop yourself at the last moment, instead waiting patiently for your boyfriend to put his hand on your lower back and push you towards the house. When the door opens it’s as if all the stress from the outside world falls away, a big weight lifted off your chest.

Again, if James would be more observant he’d notice that the way his Father and Grandfather hug you is longer than appropriate. How their hands glide down your back to squeeze your ass, noses buried in your neck to get a good waft of that sweet bourbon vanilla perfume Jack had bought for you. Speaking of Jack he has the cheekiness to not simply grope your butt, no, he decides to feel for the plug and give it a push. All while James is right there busy taking off his shoes.

As usual, when you sit down to eat at the huge maghony dinner table, it doesn’t take 5 minutes before James pulls out his phone to text god knows who. His blatant disrespect used to upset you but his extra distraction now is more than useful now. While he’s talking without a pause about the great weekend he’ll have with his buddies just a couple hours away from Austin on a camping trip. You have already begun to tune him out as you discreetly slide your spandex covered foot up Joel’s shin, all the way up over his thigh until you gently tap at his crotch his bulge more than apparent.

James nagging voice addressing you directly pulls you from the cloud you had just been floating on “Babe you gonna be okay without me?” As if you hadn’t survived many nights without him. “Of course baby, I’ll pay a visit to some old friends.” You respond while winking at Joel and Jack, yes the weekend surely will be fun.

The first 2 days were spent like all the countless previous weekly hook-up meetings, they lapped at your pussy and ass, eating you for hours till you screamed from overstimulation. You of course got a mouth full of cock whenever you wanted, happily gagging on them. They alternated between fucking you, either Joel was pounding you while Jack watched or the other way around. If they got lucky you offered your pretty mouth for the one watching.

And the current position on Joel’s massive bed isn’t any less enticing, you are propped up on all fours. Joel’s hips flush with yours, one hand tightly gripping your hip while the other holds the clear silicone dildo he slowly inserted at the beginning of the night into your tight ring. Jack is occupying your mouth with his thick length, holding your face in his big hands, persistently hitting the back of your throat, in a rhythm that matches the one Joel uses to push against your G-Spot.

The room smells like sex, sweaty, stuffy and all that can be heard is slapping of skin mixed with the wet noises all three of your used holes make. Accompanied by the deep husky moans of both Jack and Joel. When Joel feels your walls tighten around him, the decision is quickly made to momentarily end the fun. Some silent communication must happen, because Jack suddenly shifts his hips back causing his cock to slip out of your mouth.

“You did so good for us Angel,” he leans down and presses his lips against yours briefly, a welcome distraction as Joel pulls the silicone toy from your ass.

Jack releases your lips “Okay baby, let’s get you in position, hm?” Yes you’ve talked about it, so Joel also shifts away leaving you with an empty feeling in your abdomen. He lays down on his back and you crawl on top of him, lifting up slightly as Joel lines himself up with your entrance. Jack settles up behind you grabbing your hips to help you slide down, “how’s it feel Moon?”

You lean back, resting your head on his shoulder, biting your lip while your own hands

“F..Fee.. Feels sooo good,” you bend forward planting your palms on Joel’s shoulders “, butttt there’s something missing.” all while arching your back as much as you can without risking that Joel’s cock slides out of your core.

“Ah, I know what you need babygirl,” Jack grabs the bottle of lube from the nightstand and starts to squeeze a decent amount out onto his fingers, which then wrap around his length. The slick noise makes a shiver run through your body.

“Relax baby, keep breathing, okay?” His warm moist tip starts to push into your puckered hole, it is so different to the fingers or the dildo, a warm rigid shaft parting your walls. Everything overwhelms your senses, so you seek out Joel’s comfort, nuzzling furter into his neck and instinctively biting him. Not hard enough to draw blood but definitely enough to make him gasp.

“Moon Love, ‘s okay, ya takin’ it so good.” He soothingly rubs your arms with his thumb, drawing tiny circles.

With little to no time you get used to their rhythmic push and pull. Your moans have gotten so loud that surely the whole neighborhood is getting an earful. Even through the hazy arousal clouding your mind it’s not lost on you that Jack is enjoying the tight channel of your butt, it makes him feral. He reaches for your hair carelessly gathering it into a ponytail and pulling you up, it doesn’t hurt, no, the tingling of your scalp turns you on further. That increases when Joel’s lips wrap around your hard nipple and starts biting it.

“U..uh..ughh, soo goo-“ Jack cuts you off

“Yeah feels good having his mouth on those sugar tits,” you only manage a pathetic nod.

Jack let’s go off your hair and Joel stops the assault on your nipple. As you lean back down you give him your best smile, stopping at his pursed lips for a quick kiss. When you open your eyes so close to his gorgeous face all that is on your mind are those 3 words, the ones that have been there since the first moment.

One more peck and you disappear into the safety of his neck again. “I’m so close Daddy,” you hoarsely whisper into his ear. “Ya wanna touch your little clit baby?” You nod. “Nuh, uh Moon, use your words” he knows how hard you try to not let go. “Ple..Pleaseeee, can I touch my clit, please Daddy?” You sound close to crying so Joel decides to show some mercy. “Go ahead, touch that clit, make yourself come.”

You do, with only drawing a couple small circles you fall over the edge, twitching and clenching down hard on both of them. Jack and Joel follow you suit spilling deep inside your holes. The waves of your high are still cursing through you when some commotion forces you to find back to the present moment.

Jack and Joel don’t get to catch their breaths after filling you up. “Wha…What the fuck is going on here?” James furious voice cuts through the blissful quiet. Jack instantly pulls out of you with a hiss letting his cum flow down from your used asshole to your pussy still plugged with Joel’s cock.

James thinks it’s just him walking in on something strange. His Dad and Grandfather going to town on some woman, but when you lift your head and stare straight at him while his father’s cum is dripping out of you he feels sick. “Mo..Moon, wha..what is this?” he almost wants to take a step closer but stops himself.

You don’t have the energy to answer but it’s not needed James puts two and two together. Turning away running down the stairs. Jack stumbles of the bed, grabs his shorts and hurries after James “Wait, Please James listen son..-“ the rest is cut off as they are out of hearing range.

“Fuck,” you mutter closing your eyes and putting your head down “what’s gonna happen now?”

His hands smooth over the plains of your shoulders drawing shapes on your spine. “Don’t know baby, no idea what Jack will do. But i don’t care, as long as ya here I’m happy.”

You begin to place gentle kisses to the spot you bit him earlier “Sounds like a good plan to me,”

“Good, ya gonna be the last woman I’ll love Mooni,” you sit up smacking his chest “Don’t say that Joel,” while scoffing, he’s impossible making you all sappy after fucking you brainless.

“Wait,” you move his head with your hands to face you “, where did you get that Moon Diamond Plug. I’ve been meaning to ask.”

He shrugs his shoulders “Had it specially made for ya baby girl.”

You sigh dreamily “I love you Joel,”

Without missing a beat he replies “I love you too.”

This is what heaven on earth feels like.

©️ evolnoomym 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!

Tags: @aurorawritestoescape @joelmillerisapunk @milla-frenchy @the-mandawhor1an @rivnedell @toxicanonymity @ace-turned-confused @strang3lov3 @pedropeach @tonysopranosrobe @moonlitbirdie @joelstummy @joelsdagger @joelslegalwhre @joelsgreys @pedge-page @littlemisspascal @fhatbhabiee @punkshort @macfrog @thundermartini @mrsmando @xdaddysprincessxx @mountainsandmayhem @syd-djarin @msjarvis @umnitsa @clawdee @taeslarityy @axshadows @pedroswife69 @604to647 @merz-8 @yesjazzywazzylove-blog @beardedjoel

[seungisms]

🖇️📁 𝐒𝐊𝐙 … 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐊 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 '𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐈𝐃𝐄! 𝐌𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐈𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆'

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fluff and general dumbassery

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: himbo!changbin, himbo!jisung, tiktok pranks and danni's shitty attempt at comedy

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: ngl i made felix shorter than the rest cause i just know his ass would'nt fall for this shit, my guy would probably be the one to do this prank on u 😭 similar to my last tiktok prank reaction, check it out here! reblog for a kiss, feedback much appreciated!

𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍

your stupid tiktok pranks are the bane of this mans existence

such a boomer

stares at you like (ಠ_ಠ) as you’re trying to push him into your room to hide

he already has to deal with seven other idiots causing him emotional distress on a daily basis and yet here you are joining in?

breaks into a sweat as soon as the word ‘boyfriend’ leaves your lips

literally like ???? idk if you knew this but,,, I’M your boyfriend 

will dig his feet into the carpet as you’re trying to push him through the door and won’t move until you explain yourself >:(

you just think he looks sososo cute confused and frustrated so you crack pretty quickly 

after u explain he just does that disappointed dad sigh™️ and walks away 

if u weren’t such a cutie he would’ve ditched ur ass by now istg

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐇𝐎

so close to snapping 

can’t deal with ur shit anymore

(he loves you really)

(but fr he’s on his last straw, you stress him out)

literally just chilling on one of his rare days off scrolling through his phone when you strike

now ur all up in his face like ‘bro u need to hide! my boyfriend is on his way!!’

legit just stares you out for a minute straight before just

‘get tf away from me 😃’

and you can tell he’s not gonna fall for another one of ur stupid pranks but u also can’t give up now cause u made a bet with felix so

‘no i’m serious! he’s like two minutes away, hide!!’

will continue sitting there

trust me he thinks ur really cute but he also wishes you’d just stfu once in awhile

if you continue on with your little prank he’ll just turn around and say ‘nah, i kinda wanna meet this guy now’

there’s no winning with his stubborn ass trust me

𝐒𝐄𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐁𝐈𝐍

was asleep

so peaceful

then suddenly a wild girlfriend (you) appears

you felt kinda bad for disturbing him cause !! he looked so cute !! all pouty and sleepy

but still tiktok pranks reign superior than ur boyfriends sleep

so fking confused and doesn’t know what tf is going on

his fight or flight kicks in as soon as ur panicked whisper of ‘quick! my boyfriend is on his way, you need to hide!’ hits his ears

tucks and rolls right underneath that bed

will peek out from under the bed and be like ‘this good? 👍’ pls

himbo!changbin for the win

will hide for a good half hour before he realises 

hey

wait

i’m the boyfriend

bitches about it for at l e a s t two weeks

𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐉𝐈𝐍

gets so worked up about it lmao

will be in the middle of a nice ~peaceful~ snack 

before being rudely interrupted

just stares u in the face with that real bitchy eye squint he loves to do

‘oh u think ur funny’

and you almost give up on the prank cause he’s just giving you the side eye while munching on his snack

loves to make you feel dumb 

he gets so annoyed over it but the more you insist on him to hide the more he actually starts to believe it

deep down he knows it’s a joke but also gets jealous over this non-existent side piece you have <3

‘okay fine, ill hide. but only cause ur cute.’

hides all grumpy in the storage cupboard with his snack

all you can hear are angry chewing noises

(ex: soobin)

another one to bring this up in future and bitch over it

whenever you ask him to help you with smith he’ll just be like

‘oh why don’t you get your boyfriend to help you’ and walks away

petty af but we been knew

but he’s pretty so you let him have it

𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐉𝐈𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆

so :o

listens very intently as you explain that your boyfriend is on his way and immediately goes into panic mode

‘okay i have a plan’

freaks out and drags you into the empty space below your stairs while shushing you

1/3 bimboracha 

‘he won’t find us here’

doesn’t understand why ur laughing ??? this is serious ???

9/10 chance he doesn’t know what’s actually going on

another one that takes way too long to figure out that he’s your boyfriend 

so close to organising an intervention against ur tiktok pranks

will make a 20 minute powerpoint on why tiktok should be banned in the dorms and will make you sit through the whole thing

idk just don’t do this to him, his dramatic ass wouldn’t be able to handle it

𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐗

lee felix tiktok king™️

already knows what you’re trying to do before you even do istg

he’s ten steps ahead of you at all times with this tiktok shit

catches you looking at him out of the corner of your eye all morning and giggling and kinda had an idea of what you were planning

also he saw ur tiktok likes

this isn’t a cute little prank anymore this is a competition

on guard as soon as you strike and ready to shut that shit down

‘felix, quick hide in my closet! my boyfriend is gonna be here soon!!’

literally just goes

‘i’m ur boyfriend stupid’

and that’s that

there’s no fooling him

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍

you planned to strike while he was asleep cause that’s the only time ur sure he won’t just immediately dismiss you and be like ‘tf are you on?’

swats you away a good three times as you try to shake him awake

does that grumpy teenager thing where he pulls the covers over his head and just hopes you’ll leave

if he can’t see u then u can’t see him

groans as soon as he hear that stupid tiktok line leave your mouth

just goes

‘okay?? i’m asleep anyway??? literally just hang out with him in the living room and go away???’

does not give a shit

you really wanna get him though

so you invite hyunjin over

and as soon as he hears another guys voice coming from the living room you bet ur ass he’s practically throwing himself down those stairs

just stares at you and hyunjin 

so fking out of breath

grumpily walks back up those stairs and you s w e a r  you heard him mumble ‘bitch’ under his breath 😭

𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈𝐍

confused

but also will do whatever you say cause he’s whipped af

human personification of that one hamster meme when you come rushing up to him freaking out about how your boyfriend was on his way over

panics with u

he doesn’t like seeing you stressed :( 

but in the middle of ur ranting he’s like

‘okay wait i can just hide in there- wait, boyfrIEND?! BUT I’M UR BOYFRIEND!!!1!!!!!11!!’

literally doesn’t know what to do when you just shush him

stays hiding in there until you take pity on him and tell him to come out

does his little walk of shame out and just stands there for a good five minutes staring at you

has never felt betrayal like it

has trust issues now

© 𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐬 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝. 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠/𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝.

[hazelfoureyes]

Hate mail?

A very misguided edgelord child, or very damaged and lonely adult, seems to be harassing members of the larger hazbin community (not just our HDC)!

Here’s how to respond to these my dearest GN!Does:

0)Screenshot the inbox (optional, see step .5)

1)Report them

2)Block them

0.5)Send Hazel the screenshot and exactly how you WANTED to reply and we will laugh at them and then pity them together (optional, ig, but Im a messy bitch and I love reading these really dumb messages)

In all seriousness, seeing people delete blogs or go inactive from hate mail is just… gut wrenching. Tumblr has provided me such a massively needed community and source of acceptance when I’m terribly lonely and isolated so far from home and my native tongue. I can’t imagine any of us losing that over… well, clearly a child. (If these aren’t children then they are very very pathetic adults so desperate for attention yet too unlikeable to muster kindness they have write the most uninspired hate messages. And on anon? A coward at that 😂)

Luckily, I have a terribly thick skin (scarring does that ✨)

But for the days you are vulnerable, or your skin is running thin, or the words happen to hit a chord, you’re welcome to reach out to me.

If *you* are someone who is also a safe person to turn to, feel free to sound off! Let’s circle the wagons and protect each other. 💝

Yes, they can make more accounts. But every time they have to make a new one is time they aren’t able to harass someone else.

꒰১Fallen Guardian Angel’s of the HDC List*໒꒱

People safe to reach out to when these hit you too hard or just to vent and laugh at the sender (let me know if you want to be added, always keep your mental health and peace in mind):

@fraugwinska ✧ @hazelfoureyes ✧ @zzzykiek ✧ @dewdropdinosaur ✧ @afallowedfawn

This post is linked at the top of my pinned master list if you want to see an updated list! Reblogs don’t show changes to the original post

*again, adults only added to this list. Your life is hard enough at under 18 you don’t need to be taking on the stress of adults. Feel free to start a group amongst yourselves if you really want to be someone’s safe place, but I don’t want to send stressed and possibly trauma dumping adults to a minor.

[eldritch-spouse]

The way I would be side-eyeing my boss, just itching for him to go out for his smoke break, so I can teach this bastard what the value of reading is.

As soon as he rounds the corner, I'll fucking get up on the counter like, "Listen here, you little rat, you got two eyeballs in that knocker of yours, but you can't see out of either of them, can you? It says right. Fucking. HERE." I make sure to hold the item inches from his face and point at the print. "LIMITED. FUCKING. DISCOUNT. And see, I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt; maybe you really don't know how to read or you're a fucking idiot. So let me dumb it down for you: LIMITED means NOT forever; the time that it was limited is FUCKING OVEEER!" I throw the item down onto the floor with rage, spilling the contents of its inside on the floor that I just mopped. It only makes me more furious. "And YOU, vile sex pest, don't think I can't fucking see you! Take your hard on and your bottom out of my fucking store before I turn your hides in the doormats I will wipe shit on every day after work. I'm sick and fucking tired of you two running my day, i have no energy left to deal with you— NO! Don't you DARE reach for your dick!" Then the manager comes back in because he heard the commotion, and suddenly I get off the counter and I am peaceful again, put on my best customer services for these waste oxygen (I really need this job, even if the pay's low). I feel like Moz would start making fun of me again, and I would grip the counter so hard it just might start cracking. I would be using every muscle in my body to not jump over the counter and start strangling that bitch in front of my boss.

I am only submissive for boss-kun 🥺🎀✨️

[Don't... Don't make me draw the boss.]

You can be sure that Moz is screaming right back at you. Most of what he says is irrelevant, because he understands he's in the wrong, he's just a bully who wants free things and isn't about to get out-played by a little human who he could hunt for sport. It's a total shitfest, Babesley isn't even listening to you, he's already steadily on his way to an orgasm just from riling himself up at the thought of you two getting furious enough to fuck on the floor.

The manager -If Satan were real, this would be the guy- Shows up and just pats you on the head like a purse chihuahua. "Sorry folks, this one just gets a little enthusiastic sometimes. It won't happen again."

And that's when they both know they have free reign to fuck with you. Or so they think.

[sanjisblackasswife]

Teaching Zoro How to Kiss (SFW-ish)

WC: 1.3k

Black Fem Reader in Mind

CW: Reader “Bullies” Zoro, because she likes him, Kissing, a Bit Suggestive

“PUSSY! LET’S GO AGAIN!”

“YOU CAN’T KEEP RUNNING AWAY THOUGH IT PISSES ME OFF!”

It’s been 2 hours of your both sparing in the Crow’s Nest. You’re not even a swordsman you just wanted to bother Zoro and play with his swords. He got annoyed with how you were swinging them around and you challenged him to fight, which of course he didn’t want to decline, but he couldn’t stand how you just constantly toyed with him.

“What if i was a real enemy?! Running can only get you so far , woman.”

You shrugged, you and him both knew if it really came down to a fight you were the last to run away, but playing dumb with Zoro was just too fun not to do.

“No worries, i can just jump on your strong back and you can protect me!” You beamed you smile at him, as he was changing, stealing a few glances at how the bright afternoon sun hit his damped tan skin. Your eyes snapped away when you seen Zoro look what at you distraught by your answer a little.

“What?! N-no you idiot what if i’m not there with you—“

“When are you NOT around me, Zo?” You giggled and shrugged once more now moving towards him as he was taking off his sweaty shirt, he immediately felt your close presence causing him to back up a little.

“Tch.” He rolled his eyes before using his sweaty shirt to wipe his face, you wasn’t sure if it was to actually dry his forehead or to clear his cheeks from the ted that was appearing on them. “It’s only because your ass is so clingy. Can’t even breathe—“

“Cut the shit you know you love when I’m around.” You inch closer to him, noticing his blush at a brighter tone of red than it was before you smirk, “You love when we train, when I annoy you, and even though you claim to like peace and quiet you sure as hell enjoy when I speak. Don’t you?”

“Shut up! Nobody cares to listen to you—“

“You’re right. You’d much rather look at me speak…that’s why you always stare at my lips when i talk.”

You could feel Zoro’s heart sink to his ass. His pupils got tiny and he gave off such an annoyed look at you as he was gritting his teeth you could see the steam come out of his head, making you laugh.

“Move.” He lightly shoved you out the way by pressing his hand against your tummy to sit back down on the cool wall to relax. He was hoping you’d just sigh and walk off to bother someone else, but he knew better and you knew better than to do such a thing.

You stared at him for a moment in thought, his light brown back muscles flexing subtly as he walked, beads of sweat dripping down his spine.

Ugh, you really hated this man and how he makes you feel.

“Whaaattt, Zo…” you skipped your way over to him and slid down on the wall to sit beside him. “I’m just pointing out the obvious.”

“Whatever.”

You snicker, “Don’t get your panties caught in a knot, bro—“

“I DON’T WEAR PANTIES—“

“See.” You point at his eyes, “You’re staring at my lips again.”

Zoro was so sick of your teasing he actually begins to cross his arms and look the other way, which was hilarious on your end.

“Y’know men only look at a woman’s lips when they wanna kiss.”

He quickly moved his eyes back on yours, you had a certain glint in your eye that made him gulp, you smirk at his now stiffened body and move his arms to crawl in between his legs.

“What are you doing?!”

“If you don’t like me this close then say that and I’ll move.”

“….”

“…good!”

“Now..”

“Kiss me.”

Of Zoro would have been drinking you would have been sprayed with sake, instead he began to choke on his spit,

Again. Hilarious.

“What?!”

“Do it. I know you want to…scared?”

He avoided your gaze, feeling you lean in closer with your hands firmly on his thighs, he got flustered again,

“Who said I would ever kiss you….pretty sure you wouldn’t be great anyways.”

“Oh, because you’ve kissed better right?”

Still not wanting to look you in the eye, you grab his cheeks to make him look at you, pressing them a little.

“You kissed other bitches?”

“You—!” He slaps your hand making you chuckle, “No!—“

“Other dudes?”

“NO!”

Then it clicked.

“….you never kissed anybody before.”

His eyes looks at you for a second, face as red a a tomato and that’s when your eyes rose.

“Who gives a shit about if I kissed someone or not?! It’s a waste of time.”

“How would you know you never kissed nobody, dumbass.”

His annoyed looked turned into embarrassment in his eyes, he looked down for a second not wanting to further the conversation, you almost felt a little bad, so you backed up fiddling your fingers.

“…I’m sorry.”

He didn’t really wanna hear it, you sigh, “It’s okay if you never kissed anyone…It’s nothing wrong with it.”

“I know it isn’t.”

It was a few seconds of awkward silence until you said fuck it and moved his face again to look at you,

“..you’re staring at my lips.” Zoro’s muffled voice broke out earning him a crooked smile.

You look at his dark low lidded eyes, somehow hoping you won’t have to ask verbally for what you wanted, it was almost as if he could read your mind because you felt his head nod a little.

You move yourself closer and plant your lips onto his, they were cold. You felt him breathe harder through his nose, also gripping his hands on your exposed thighs giving them a tight squeeze. He moved them to hold your cheeks as well to push you further into him.

He was very inexperienced, you haulted your movements to let him find his way, he couldn’t, giving you little sloppy kisses you pull away.

“I…um…my bad..”

You felt the heat from his face radiate off yours and you smile warmly, wiping his lower lip,

“Try again.” You whisper, he awkwardly shakes his head okay as he pulls you in closer to peck your lips. They were so soft and plush, he even tasted a bit of your lipgloss.

The kiss was more gentle, he furrowed his brows a bit to focus a bit, your fingers move to graze his sweaty nape, you swore you hear a small groan from him.

Zoro tilts his head to taste more of you, kissing you felt like something he couldn’t describe. The weight of your body now leaning on his as he sat back on the wall felt amazing. He allows his tongue to inch closer into your mouth. Your eyes opened for a split second feeling his big hands cup your bottom, wondering when the hell did they get there, but you didn’t want it to stop.

He was such a fast learner.

Pulling away slowly, the last thing you hear was a small smack before Zoro chuckles lowly, “Told you I can kiss.”

“You ain’t tell me shit!” You smack his chest, even with a red face he still manages to try and be a smartass.

“For a beginner you sure learn quickly..” You mumble picking at his warm collar bone.

“You’re not too bad yourself.”

“I’m fucking amazing thank you very much.”

“Oh yeah?” He adjust you to now be chest to chest, biting his lower lip staring at your breast up to your mouth, “Show me again then.”

You roll your eyes and grab the sides of his face to kiss him, in an instant his tongue was wrapped and swirling in your mouth breaking a mouth out of you in shock and you pull away.

“Wh—WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT MOVE?!”

“Luffy told me some shit he seen in Dressrosa…so I kept it in mind..”

[nurse-floyd]

Not a People Doctor

Pairing: Rhett Abott x Vet!Reader

Fandom: Outer Range

After a bar fight, Rhett shows up at your doorstep.

For the amazing @vivwritesfics and the reason I am now Rhett/ Bob trash! Thank you for the title idea 💕💕

It's getting late as you settle down in your living room with a hot cup of tea and the latest book you're reading. Your peace is interrupted by a soft knocking at your door. You almost think you've imagined it when the knock comes again, a little louder this time. Grumbling slightly, you set your book aside, hoping it isn't another mare in labour or a horse with colic; you just want a quiet night.

Opening the door, you put on a smile for the paying customer you expect to find, but your smile falls as you see none other than Rhett Abbott, your childhood friend and a frequent customer. He looks dishevelled, blood staining his clothes, and you can already see the bruises and cuts on his face in the dim porch light.

"Jesus, Rhett, what the hell happened to you?" you exclaim, ushering him inside.

He winces as he moves, clearly in pain but not wanting to let on. "Got into a bit of a scuffle at the bar," he mutters, not quite meeting your gaze.

Leading him into your living room, you move the blanket you'd been cuddled under not long ago. "Sit down, let me take a look at you."

He lowers himself onto the sofa. You flip on the light switch to give you a better view of his injuries as you sit on the coffee table opposite him.

"You must've really pissed someone off," you tut as you gently turn his head with your fingers on his chin. You lift his shirt seeing the bruises over his ribs, shaking your head. "We need to get you to a hospital; some of these cuts need stitches. Probably got a broken rib or two as well." 

Rhett gives you a shit-eating smile, a smile only he could pull off when his face looks half as bad as it does, and it still makes you weak at the knees. "That's why I came here, thought you were a doctor."

"I'm an animal doctor, not a people doctor," you shake your head in disbelief.

"I can try. I don't have any of the good pain meds, so it's going to hurt like a bitch, and it won't be the prettiest. Gonna have a few more scars to add to the list."

"Never had any complaints from you. You always liked my scars and tattoos."

You smack him lightly on the arm, causing a 'hey' from him in response. Ignoring him, you run to get the first aid kit you keep in your bathroom closet as well as your veterinary kit.

You start to clean his wounds, carefully stitching up the deep cut over his eyebrow. You can't help feeling a pang of concern. Rhett isn't a stranger to bar fights, but seeing him so vulnerable and injured stirs something within you.

"Are you going to tell me what that fight was about?" you ask gently, your voice laced with worry.

Rhett hesitates for a moment before he meets your gaze. "It was dumb. Just some guy mouthing off about things he shouldn't have," he admits, jaw clenching.

You sigh, finishing up and snipping the last of the stitches. "You need to be more careful, Rhett. You're going to get yourself seriously hurt one day."

He nods, his expression sheepish. "I know... I know. I just... I didn't want to go to the hospital."

You place a comforting hand on his cheek, your thumb gently smoothing over his cheekbone. "Well, you're just lucky you've got me, and I happen to know my way around stubborn bull riders, and I'm pretty good at suturing."

A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "You have no idea."

Once you've finished cleaning and bandaging the last of the wounds on his face, you sit back, admiring your handiwork. "There... all done," you lean in and place a gentle kiss on the side of his head, "good as new." 

Rhett stands up slowly, getting a look in the mirror above your fireplace. "Thanks, sweetheart. I owe you one."

"Don't mention it, I'll just add it to the list. Just promise me you'll be more careful, Rhett. I'm pretty good, but some injuries I can't fix."

He nods, his gaze finally meeting yours. "I promise."

As he makes his way to the door, you can't help but shake the feeling of concern lingering. "Hey, Rhett? You need a place to stay tonight? Probably shouldn't be alone after something like this."

"I don't want to put you out..."

"You're not," you interrupt him.

Rhett's gaze softens, and you can see the gratitude in his eyes. "I... I'd appreciate that. Thank you."

You feel a wave of relief wash over you as you leave him on the couch, running to change your sheets, not wanting him to spend the night on the sofa with his injuries.

"Beds all changed; let's get you some rest. I've got some pain meds and a glass of water up there for you too."

He looks at you, confused as to why you haven’t brought down blankets and pillows, assuming he'd be sleeping on the couch.

You hold out your hand. "Come on, I don't mind. Besides, I'll feel a lot better knowing you're not sleeping on that uncomfortable sofa."

He blinks, confusion evident in his expression. "Are you sure, Y/N? I don't want to intrude."

You give him a look that leaves no room for arguments, and he knows he'd be fighting a losing battle to even try.

With a grateful nod, he takes your hand, helping pull himself to his feet before he follows you up the stairs. You pull back the covers, helping him slip under the blankets before joining him. As you both lie there, you couldn’t help but love the feeling of the warmth of his body beside you. You love it even more as he wraps an arm around your waist, whispering a thank you into the crook of your neck.