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sanchoyo · 3 years ago

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danny phantom, season 3 episodes 3-6 thoughts!

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-johnny was actually pretty civil with danny and left when he asked! thats nice. also, SKULKER?? HAD A FRAMED PICTURE OF EMBER?? oooo fuck wait had they established they were a Thing Before?? I dont think so. thats weird. its like that country boy/goth girl meme lmfao. I think i am going to choose to ignore this new info and pretend I didnt hear it. 100% unrelated to the jazz/ember fanart I already drew and posted....😳

-LADIES NIGHT EPISODE THIS IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT. wish it didnt really center around the guys or them being pissed at them, but. willing to bet this was written by men lol

-THEY ERASED ALL THE MEN??? meanwhile, jack and danny are fishing at. silent hill or something. im glad jack is trying to read a parenting book and making an Attempt. (theyre at lake erie, but, they made it actually eerie...thats fun)

-the girls alt outfits...cute. EMBER MADE A NEW SONG TOO!!! kinda. jazz being one of the backup singers and being AWFUL. NOOOO

-'how are we going to get kitty to blow a kiss?' 'she'll have to think there are still some males in town!' ...i dont know how to break it to you, but I dont know that a 100% het girl would wish for all men to Begone. I think. I mean im not a het or a girl so I dont really know for sure. she Is probably Bi tho. esp having the other ladies in town chanting NO MEN!!! excitedly............(then again, the kiss is to get Rid of men, so, she probably would have blown it at the ladies only if they were actively trying to attack/stop them, so...I MEAN. THE DRESSING LIKE DANNY BIT WAS SO EXTRA)

-I feel like an all female cast ep couldve been way way way way cooler than that was. like. why was it still somehow all about Men. ...anyway. (where was valerie...)

-next ep opens with the observants, and, way way more of them than I expected...existed? I mean I guess them being a council/jury of some kind is what I expected from their first appearance (bc at that time they were basically TELLING clockwork to kill danny, not asking,, so I figured they had SOME kind of authority) but. there were so many. anyway, here goes vlad! letting his own hubris go brrrr. releasing a weather ghost for political gain! #justvladthings

-okay say what you will about him (he IS an asshole) but having an umbrella with his own face on it and more prepared to share is SUPER FUNNY. and him being fanned by huge wads of money by his bodyguards. SO ineffective but so Dramatic. He UNDERSTANDS that if youre rich you need to be. you know. obnoxious and kinda eccentric about it! fuckign hate when rich people are boring about it. I would trust vlad with nothing except to not be a boring rich asshole who wears...fucking khaki or some shit. man knows his Presentation Skills. and that 'V' chair in his mayoral office. is that fucking embroidered?

-maddie get your MAN PLEEEEASSSE. IM SO EMBARRASSED FOR HER. the way jack stays simping for this man. in FRONT OF HIS WIFE!!!! ...my god its like a love triangle. jack clearly loves vlad, who loves maddie, who loves jack. jack fenton is at the very least bi, right................. this is an OBSESSION . 'THE V MAN COMETH'???? i...my god. (also, on a serious note, to have a friend THIS SUPPORTIVE...and still be SUCH A DICK TO HIM (TRYING TO KILL HIM AND STEAL HIS WIFE??) NOT COOL VLAD. JACK IS YOUR 1 AND /ONLY/ HYPE MAN. if someone loved and supported me THIS HARD...LIKE. CMON DUDE.

-STOMP the fucking GAS, JACK

-this would make a great shirt design, looks like a metal band design! we love The Maelstrom

-oh, so vlad did in fact get a mansion in amity park. and its purple! good color choice! not as flashy as a CASTLE or MURDER CABIN, but still pretty eccentric, which I appreciate.

-...vlad knows the difference between picasso and da vinci? in the ep last post where we were watching him fail at conquering every historical time ever he didnt seem to know history well enough to like. be effective...was vlad taking art history at college?? (was he an art MAJOR??? we never DID KNOW WHAT HE WENT TO SCHOOL FOR. I kinda assumed business because in the masters of time ep he was still rich without ghost powers so he had to have..known something about business or something, right...but also, art and or theater FITS HIS PERSONALITY. possibly also something science-y, I guess, but I always felt like he got roped into that, esp how pessimistic he was about the ghost portal in the flashbacks to college, like, i felt like he was just there for maddie and was uninterested/un-invested at the time...)

-THIS GHOST JUST ELECTROCUTED MADDIE (THE CAT) BITCH!! THATS MY FAVORITE MADDIE!!! vlad going after vortex and being ~shocked~ .....WHEN. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN. THAT YOUR ACTIONS. HAVE CONSEQUENCES!!!

-the way this random man with a camera sees the mayor laying in an alley covered in TRASH AND DECIDES TO TAKE A PICTURE HAHAH

*snap* this ones going in my cringe compilation!

-vlad 'if we're going to defeat vortex, we're going to have to do it together!' *immediately dips after dropping danny off in front of vortex* JKASDFHKJHJKN

-DANNY CAN DUPLICATE!!! ...he couldnt even attack with it, but he DID IT!!! INTO (4) OF HIMSELF!!! SO PROUD!!!!!!!!!!

-'THE ROLLER COASTER EMOTIONS OF A TEENAGER THREATEN MY PLANS!' ...0 self awareness of his own dramatic moodiness. incredible, how dumb this man is. its very close to circling around to endearing, if he was less of an asshole. at least its very very funny to see danny shooting him with tiny lightning bolts anytime he's even slightly irritated! vlad you should be nice to danny anyway. this is what you GET

-...making sandwiches and ice cream and playing video games with your nephew is a totally normal thing. WHY is vlad acting like this is the end of the world. if you were a GOOD UNCLE YOU WOULD ALREADY BE DOING THESE THINGS!!! bitch I make my nephew food all the time and dont forget what he does and doesnt like. if u didnt know danny didnt want tomatoes, thats on u. if u, a grown adult, are gonna piss of the 14 yr old by not letting him win, u deserve to have to pay for the arcade machines he ruins because he now has uncontrollable storm powers because YOU THREW HIM INTO A FIGHT WITH THE STORM GHOST. fuck u vlad. paypal me $400,000 while ur at it tho. (also, gamer vlad confirmed)

-VLAD CAN COOK THOUGH???! I assumed he had...people working for him that did that. I mean. billionaires usually dont do that. then again, we've only seen those vultures working for him (and I guess the dairy king was AT his old mansion, but it was never really clarified if he worked there...I think he probably just Hung Out and they Enjoyed Cheeses Together. thats what I think, I dont think a KING would be working for anyone and also the dairy king was nice <3) but then again he would be a private person and we cant have anyone accidentally finding Ghostly Things, so...still, that's hilarious. pour one out for that really cute banana split that got ruined 2 seconds later

-vlad just fucking picking danny up and THROWING HIM AT VORTEX TWICE WITHIN LIKE A MINUTE. JUST ABSOLUTELY LAUNCHING HIM. BITCH THATS MY SON BE CAREFUL!!! HES GOT ORGANS AND THINGS!!!!

-danny seeing those animal commercials and feeling sad is the biggest 2000s throwback so far. i legitimately had to change the channel or walk out of the room when those came on bc id CRY AND BE SAD ABOUT THEM FOR DAYS AFTER. fuck those commercials and fuck that IN THE ARMMMS OF AN ANGELLLL song 😭

-'vlads ego almost got the town destroyed!' yes danny thats the entire episode. the entire series anytime vlad shows up honestly. this episode was just him being really embarrassing the entire time, and, me laughing about it. 10/10 would laugh at him again

-NEXT EP WE HAVE A SHAPESHIFTING GHOST?? I've said it before but shapeshifting is the power I would want when asked those 'what superpower do you want' questions...its the Best power! this guy looks like a homestuck character. ive never read homestuck but thats the vibe

-I love every time we see tuckers family, they are by far the most functional family. and dash has a lil chihuahua!!! named pookie!!! i am crying (I've had 3 chihuahuas, so I am very biased, but...) AND HE WATCHES THE ROMANCE CHANNEL WITH POOKIE. POOKIE I WILL DIE FOR YOU YOU SWEET LITTLE BABY.

-danny can lift a bus! I shouldn't be surprised, but i am proud of my son. hes got lil kid fans. i am going to cry about this

-JAZZ KEEPS A SCRAPBOOK WITH DANNY'S LIL HEROICS AND NEWSPAPER CLIPPINGS!!! we've actually seen it on her floor before, but I didnt realize it was a scrapbook!! thats sooo cute.

-...and danny has to stand there listening to his parents saying danny phantom sucks and is a 'filthy ghost' and calling him egotistical...i am once again stealing their kids!

-THIS GHOST RIPPING JAZZ'S SCRAPBOOK!!! ILL KILL YOU. SHE WORKED HARD ON THAT!!! BITCH

-yes, maddie, the one with red eyes is For Sure Actually Your Son. ignore the, red eyes... (CLEARLY she hasnt watched the other 2 eps where danny has been evil, she doesnt know red eyes= evil!!!)

-'billy fenton'.......................

-danny being stuck as phantom in his own house, no way out is a fucking NIGHTMARE. his parents pointing giant weapons against him and SHOOTING AT HIM. THIS IS A HORROR MOVIE.

-NINE INCH NAILS POSTER.

-this is the most screenshot of all time

-amorpho turning into mr. lancer because hes 'someone no one will want to be around' BUT HES WRONG, I WOULD BEFRIEND AND HANG OUT WITH MR LANCER SO FAST.

-tucker dressing as danny, now I have the full Tucker set of him being sam and also being danny. also saying 'the ghost...uh...RIPPED MY FACE OFF.' and then running. SMOOTH. NOT AT ALL CONCERNING TO ANY PARENTS.

-sam accepts the toast from jack. and then 2 seconds later is like 'why am i eating this.' THIS SHOWS HUMOR IS SO UNEXPECTED SOMETIMES ITS REALLY GOOD. and then the scene after, mr lancer running into his ghost doppelganger and being like 'YOURE GORGOUS' THEN FAINTING. I AM CRYING. AND DASH FAINTING TOO.

-sam disguising herself as danny again to help tucker run from the fentons. but leaving him shirtless in the streets. incredible. 'plEASE DOnt NOTice MY FACELessNESS I MUST LIVE IN EXILE' this episode is destroying me the humor in this show is exactly my brand of corny and cheesy

-the impromtu story made up by danny and amorpho to explain stuff to the fentons. my god they are both such bad liars. but amorpho is a good egg. wish danny wouldnt have said he didnt wanna see him in town again!! I want him to be reoccurring. not that thats gonna matter since I'm almost done with the series, but the idea of this being the Only Time We See him is :(

-NEXT EP SAYS STARRING MARK HAMILL??????!!! hello ! mr . joker....mr. star wars.... I feel like I should be. idk. taking off a hat im not wearing in respect. I shouldnt be surprised tho bc hes in a lot of cartoons as a very good voice actor, and dp has already had a lot of talented ones so I've been looking out for ones I might know, but....mr. hamill....

-sam has her own greenhouse, names all the plants, and says thank you to them (in the languages from where the plants are from) whenever she harvests from them. thats SO cute. and her lil gothy lunch box...

-and danny's lil red fuzzy lined jacket!!! ive said it before but every time the characters get alt outfits im like :D

-danny has ice powers now!!! THATS WHAT FROSTBITE MEANT. HE KNEW SOMEHOW WAY BACK THEN

-THIS SHOW NEVER LETS YOU FORGET VLAD IS A BILLIONAIRE, HUH.

-danny's lil 'holy hibiscus!' first off the 50s batman swearing is hilarious. 2nd. my username is from the flower sanchoyo hibiscus, so, shoutout to ME this ep. hi :)

-EURGH UNDERGROWTH MAKING EVERYONE PLANT ZOMBIES. HIVEMIND PLOTS SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME. and this dude made the city SO overtaken so quickly like how long was danny asleep?? oh god

-evil fucked up sam! now the whole trio has gone evil at some point! the voice actress did a really, really good job with making her sound like a zombie...

-frostbite's paws are so so so big compared to danny. oh my god. i want to hug the snow dog...

-the far frozen has an advanced medical stuff!!! very cool. very smart snow dogs

-im so glad danny has a friendly ghost snow dad to explain this new power and teach him!!! this is so sweet. DANNY'S GHOST SENSE WAS A PART OF HIS ICE POWER?? OOOH. COOL. we love a training montage!!!

-danny saying if he cant defeat overgrowth, that he'd want to stay with frostbite...oh my god...do you think this is the first real supportive adult figure in his life (I am NOT counting his parents because they threaten him on the daily even if they dont realize it.) I mean mr lancer is a Teacher, but he was also nice but this is different, but this is a GHOST WHO IS WILLING TO HELP HIM with his powers and also will help him when hes injured and is so so nice and comparatively so much more mature than 90% of the adults in this show!!!! god. dad frostbite is my everything.

-the framing and lighting this episode, and all the angles...they went all OUT and it looks really really good. this is my nightmare scenario, tho. like, FUCK zombies and dead city zones and hivemind shit. and using the humans as 'nutrients for the children' i am going to THROW UP.

-MALEFICENT VIBES WITH THE HORNS AND GREEN EYES! this costume kicks so much ass. sam is now mark hamills daughter, I guess.

-danny's ice powers making his eyes blue!!! thats neat. and him going for the roots underground was SO SMART. i will not stand for danny ever thinking hes stupid, hes SO smart.

almost done with the show... :"( thats a sad thought!!!

#sanchoyorambles #dp thoughts #danny phantom

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ocheeva · 4 years ago

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interview tag uwu

rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better!

tagged by @queensbrother even though it’s been A DECADE cass how can u possibly need to get to know me better ily

- nickname: no people just. use my name. except @mishikaiya sometimes. her latest for me is chickadee which is literally the cutest but will it ever be a thing outside the bird trio? doubtful.

- pronouns: she/her

- star sign: probably yeah

- height: 167 cm. i don’t do american numbers.

- time currently: 23:49

- when is your birthday: at some point during the year. this is hidden lore only my mum knows bc she was there (presumably)

- favorite bands/groups: see this is why i’m the worst at this kind of thing because there are always these questions and i. don’t do music. generally. like i have made spotify playlists and shit i just sit down to listen to music approximately three times a year so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- favorite solo artists: well...

- song stuck in your head: this is getting awkward

- last movie watched: wait hold on i need to cry for a second over cass’ last movie being fatal journey... god that fucked me up. nie brothers my beloved. anyway it was I Am Mother. it was okay.

- last show you binged: new girl for the third? fourth? time. i live alone and don’t really have conversations at my job so i keep sitcoms on in the background so i get to hear human voices! yes i’m very emotionally stable how did you know. last show i binged and actually paid attention to was word of honor.

- when you created your blog: this one? 2013. my first one was made in 2009

- last thing you googled: something about han dynasty art because fic research lmao

- other blogs: i only actively maintain @qinghe-s atm but i also have @masseffectcaps and a few other fandom sideblogs like @celestecraft which used to be hot shit on mineblr. others are only shared with people i love.

- why you chose your url: the first time i played the elder scrolls iv: oblivion i fell in love w ocheeva SO FAST and she’s still my favourite. i don’t have an argonian kink but if i did it would be because of her. she's sweet and caring AND she’s a skilled assassin?? get you a girl who can do both, damn

- do you get asks: no bc the messaging system exists. my fandom blogs get them on occasion although people favour the messaging system there too

- how many people are you following: 257

- how many followers do you have: like a thousand. my most popular blog has 10k which is insane quite frankly.

- average hours of sleep: i legitimately do not have an average, it’s either like four or at least twelve

- lucky number: not... really. i like multiples of five bc i have ocd and other numbers are generally uncomfortable. i don’t mind seven fsr (but only as a singular digit. idk, my brain does Not make sense)

- instruments: i played the flute as a kid but i assure you i am the least musical person you’ve ever met

- what I’m currently wearing: black leggings, black top, black sweater. my socks are pink though! fashun

- dream job: i simply do not dream of labour. i enjoy teaching to an extent and working for bethesda would be sick i guess but

- dream trip: svalbard. i’ve wanted to visit china for years (i had a layover at a chinese airport when i went to visit cass in straya and part of me was like YES finally! but it was also miserable bc worst flight of my liiiiife god). legitimate actual dream trip though? a couple of weeks alone in venice. i’ve been once but it was a school trip when i studied architecture in high school (like you do in waldorf schools! pretentious as hell) so my classmates ruined the vibe. i snuck away a lot and made my teacher angry when no one knew where i was but it was worth it. i constantly think about going back and spending hours in the narrow alleys and beautiful churches and sitting outside palazzo ducale and being moved to literal tears over the architecture. ugh.

- favorite food: lamb steak w garlic cloves... also cheese. all the cheese. any kind of cheese.

- favorite song: i thought we went over this

- top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: okay first of all animal crossing OBVIOUSLY. gotta marry tom nook. second... god. star trek because while i will absolutely shit-talk starfleet any day of the week the star trek universe is superior to any other because it has JANEWAY. and also space. and alien ladies. but mainly janeway. i would put so much effort into joining starfleet and being good at my job so i could maybe serve on the same ship as her and make quiet heart eyes if we crossed each other in the corridors. EDIT: lol i got so wrapped up in star trek i forgot about a third huh! obviously i’d want to live in dream valley with the little ponies. the original ponies. i’d hang out with wind whistler and tell her i love her all the time, especially when she uses words the other ponies don’t understand. autistic queen, love of my life, etc. bonus fourth: mass effect. space. biotics! possibly a buff asari girlfriend... or the krogan romance bioware continues to deny me

TAGGING: jesus. okay you know what. i’m picking five people who show up in my notes fairly regularly because we should be friends. so: @filantestar @sidhe-solais @briars-glenn @sarahstreep7 @roddaprime ♡

#i'm doing this instead of writing the fic i've talked myself into finishing by friday #i will not finish by friday #because i keep doing other things #i DID spend an hour reading about and looking at paintings from the han dynasty so that's. related at least #but does it make me make progress? absolutely not #anyway #your girl

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neohighwayv · 5 years ago

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Perfect

Characters: NCT / WayV / SuperM Lucas x fem reader

Genre: fluff, romance, domestic!au

Word count: 1.8k

Description: He’s perfect – way too perfect for this world – but he’s also just perfect for you.

------

As the sunlight filtered into the bedroom, it gradually heated up the room and the warmer temperature slowly roused you from the gentle embrace of sleep. Stretching out your limbs by lying flat on your back, you let out a yawn as your body released the tension from the night before, turning to face the other person sharing the bed with you – a man going by the name of Lucas. And Yukhei. And Xuxi.

Your movements woke him up and he peeked an eye open, a soft “Good morning beautiful” leaving his lips as he tucked an arm under his pillow, propping his face up slightly to observe you in this serene moment. Through his hooded eyelids, he watches you observe him, your eyes now wide open as you scanned his entire face. Even though he isn’t even fully awake yet, Lucas continues looking like a god of beauty himself. His face isn’t puffy, the tan of his skin glowing a warm bronze as the sunlight hits the planes of his body. His hair was sticking up in all the right directions – which you found absolutely adorable because it made him look like a huge, fluffy puppy – but as he ran a hand through them to keep them neat, you can’t help but notice the curves of his toned biceps and chest. His hooded eyelids made him look incredibly sexy but his lips – oh gosh, his lips. They were tinted a soft pink and his plump lips looked so luscious and kissable right now. You would have done it if not for your morning breath putting you off.

It was so unfair. The heavens truly gave Lucas everything when they created him. Looks. Personality. Height. Skills. The full package. Meanwhile the rest of the population had to scramble for scraps. Yourself included. You rolled your eyes as you groaned at the injustice, rolling away to no longer face him. You notice the worry in Lucas’s voice when it drops an octave lower, though you make no move to turn back to face him.

“Why? What’s wrong Y/N?”

God it’s truly SO unfair. How does this even make sense? Even his husky morning voice sounded sexy instead of coming out as a croak like most people.

You continue to feign anger as you let the next words out of your mouth. “Don’t talk to me Lucas.”

“Why? What did I do!” You could feel Lucas shift his body till he’s right behind you, but he made no move to touch you or move you, worried that you were really angry at him for a legitimate reason.

You flipped over to face him with a huff before you poured out your grievances to him.

“It’s so unfair! Look... look at you! How do you still look so ridiculously good in the morning! Most people look terrible but you still... you still look so good! Argh!”

You pull at your hair to prove your point and by now, Lucas is wide awake. He stares at you unblinkingly as he lets the words sink in.

Then he blinks once.

Twice.

Before his eyes crinkle and turn into lovely crescents as his boisterous laughter reverberates through the whole room.

“Babe, that’s what you were angry about? Oh my goodness- I-!” Lucas doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before he was overcame with laughter again, causing the whole bed to shake.

“Don’t laugh at me!”

You land a slap on his biceps before turning back to face away from him, crossing your arms over your chest. After some time, you feel a pair of familiar arms snake around your waist and chest before you’re gently tugged into a familiar warm embrace, your head tucked perfectly under his chin as your back comes flush against his solid chest. Lucas places his mouth by your ear, directly cooing against the sensitive skin of your ear.

“Awww~ so that’s what my baby was angry about? But isn’t it a good thing? All this good stuff is yours. All yours~”

“No. Not a good thing! I have to wake up to such perfection each morning and it just makes my self-esteem drop.”

“Hmmm, looks like I’m not loving you enough. Guess I’ll have to remind you about how perfect you are too.”

Lucas then proceeds to pepper kisses all over your face, hairline and neck as he interspersed each kiss with a good quality of yours. He made sure to give you a very affectionate kiss that was long and with his lips pressing firmly against your skin, releasing with an exceptionally loud sound. After a while, you couldn’t keep a stoic face anymore as you let out a laugh, both from the ticklish feeling of his soft lips against your skin and from the warmth spreading through your body, induced by his sweet words. You had to physically break free from his hold to stop the ticklish feeling, mumbling about needing to wash up and prepare for the day.

His giggles fade into the background as you enter the shared bathroom, proceeding to wash your face.

---

Lucas sauntered into the bathroom just as you stuck the toothbrush into your mouth, so you had no chance to question him since you couldn’t verbalise your thoughts. You felt the weight atop of your head as he placed his chin there once again. His arms go around to wrap your waist again, warmth spreading from where his fingers touched the little silver of bare skin that's exposed. He contented himself with watching you get ready for the day – just you and him. No distractions. Sometime later, he nuzzled his face into your hair, breathing in the sweet scent of your apple shampoo as he presses a kiss to the crown of your head. Well, just because he can because he's tall. When you proceeded to bend over the sink to rinse your mouth free of the foam, Lucas automatically pulled your hair back into a makeshift ponytail, keeping your hair out of the face long enough for you to make yourself clean. It’s not a grand gesture, but it's these small things that he can do for you that he does willingly – and ones that shows how much he cares for you. No questions asked, no prompting from you. He does it automatically because he's looking out for you all the time. Lucas releases your hair when you're done and you shift to stand beside him, passing him his toothbrush in the process as you proceed to wipe your face dry.

Now, it's your turn to be the affectionate one. Hooking an arm around his bare waist, you use his body as an anchor to bring your face to his back, pressing a quick kiss between his shoulder blades. (It's the only place you can reach with ease. Any further and you'll have to crane your neck.) Lucas jumps slightly at the unexpected contact, and you watch with amusement as his eyes turn into crescents once again through the mirror, your own soon mirroring his as you exit the bathroom giggling.

You're fixing your side of the bed when a strong hand came out to grip your arms, turning you around swiftly to collide head-face into a solid chest. You let out a small yelp at the surprise attack, totally not expecting it at all. You really should to be more vigilant; Lucas does these surprise attacks so often that you should be unfazed by now. Yet, he always still managed to surprise you – both in a good and bad way.

"Lucas! You scared me! What was that for?"

"Needed to catch you off-guard so that you won't be able to escape."

"Escape from what? There's no one here except for you."

"Escape from my kiss attack to show you how much I love you."

Lucas gives you no time to breathe before he launched his kiss attack, holding you tight against his body to give him more access to you, planting kisses on any bare patch of skin that's within reach for him. When he got to your neck, you had to tell him to physically stop, and you're left wheezing for breath when he finally detached his lips from your skin.

"Okok! I get it Lucas, you love me. Alot. I get it."

You put your hands against his chest to keep some distance but the smile on your face told him that there's no ill intention in that movement. You stopped laughing when the smile is wiped from Lucas's face, the mood suddenly turning sombre. He cups your face gently with both his hands, forcing you to look at him.

"Y/N, I meant it when I said you're perfect. You're strong, incredibly caring, and drop dead gorgeous – and the list goes on. I mean it. Promise me you'll believe in that."

The smile on your face grew wider with each word that he says. These words are said in true Lucas style. A man with a heart of gold, he took you seriously and always cared about your feelings. He knew you were joking just now – but even then – a part of him can’t help but worry that you actually meant it. He always checked twice, maybe thrice, to make sure that you’re really alright. He would do everything in his power to comfort you and remind you that you're worthy. He's right – his good looks are definitely something to be jealous of, but you're glad that this beauty is all yours – to admire and treasure for as long as he would allow it.

"With how much you remind me of my good qualities on a daily basis, I highly doubt that I can ever forget that, love. I still think you look perfect, but I was joking about being angry earlier, you know that right? Besides, you have a point. I'm so, so, so lucky that you're all mine to treasure and love. I love you."

Lucas melted at the term of endearment and your sincere confession, a soft "Good" leaving his lips before he craned his neck forward to mould his lips against yours, giving you your first proper kiss of the day. Both of you smiled into a kiss before the need for air forced both of you apart.

“Oh right, I forgot to say it just now but, love you too Y/N. So much. You have to know that." A goofy smile is plastered over his face after he made that statement. Your heart practically jumped in your chest at his love-stricken face, and you raised on your tip-toes to press a quick kiss to his lips once again, physically unable to hold back your overwhelming affection for the gigantic man before you.

With a sweet and perfect guy like Lucas in your life, loving him would never be a chore – because each day, he reminded you of why loving him was worth it. He’s perfect for you, as you are for him.

#nct imagines #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #wayv imagines #nct fanfic #nct fanfiction #wayc fanfic #wayv fanfiction #nct fluff #nct romance #wayv fluff #wayv romance #i hope everyone is taking care during these trying times!#i hope this short piece brings you some comfort :)

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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years ago

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May 28: 2x20 Return to Tomorrow

Today’s ep was one of my sleeper favorites, Return to Tomorrow. Imo this one should be considered a classic, but I never really hear it talked about.

So we jump right into the mystery.

I feel like Kirk is very suspicious today. And of course he immediately turns to Spock to ultimately answer the questions, after everyone else gives him partial explanation. “Spock, figure this out for me.”

GHOST ALIEN. This is what sci fi needs more of: ghost aliens.

“We have to go down there and explore. Our primary mission IS to make alien friends, after all.”

“Your probes have touched me, Mr. Spock.” No comment but this a verbatim line.

“Captain Kirk, you’re our only hope.”

I can’t believe Kirk is trying to deny Spock the opportunity to inspect unknowns.

Sargon is clearly insistent that he meets multiple different types of alien.

And it was effective! Okay, Sargon, now make them date.

Scotty is complaining about his controls being “preset by some kinda alien” while standing next to an alien.

Sargon invites a lady on the trip in order to create a love triangle.

Honestly, I love Sargon already. A glowing orb full of pure energy that talks.

Kirk doesn’t like them being called “children.”

Hmmm, are they implying that Vulcans are the true descendants of these aliens? I feel like that line was stuck in there to lessen the blasphemous impact of implying Adam and Eve were alien colonists, while still keeping the cool idea of alien colonists.

You can tell that Sargon definitely still thinks of himself as a god.

“That is still Jim’s body.” Hmmmm, Spock hasn’t broken out the “Jim” in a while.

So he put Jim in the glowing ball? Weird of him.

Aw, poor dead glowing balls.

How convenient that Sargon’s wife just happened to survive.

Spock seems reluctant to let go of Jim, there.

Kirk is trying to be profound about his experiences with the alien and his complete trust in him and McCoy’s like THAT’S JUST DUMB.

I love how McCoy and Scotty are just so skeptical about this. McCoy really thinks the aliens can’t be trusted and the risk is too great, which is fair, but Scotty’s like “...this is too weird even for me, sorry.”

“Quite simple. Happens every day.” So sarcastic, Bones!

McCoy thinks this is kinky. (Idek what this note was about lol but I stand by it.)

A starship engine the size of a walnut was enough to convince Scotty!

I feel like Kirk is just the utter epitome of the ideal man of the future. He believes in progress, but also peace, in exploration, in adventure, in the best of man and the best of aliens. “But man did fly....would you rather man had not gone to the moon... Risk is our business!”

And at that time, man hadn’t even gone to the moon yet. He was really asking people that question: do you want to explore space or not?

Henoch is the bad boy of the aliens.

He wakes up and he is immediately horny lol. And Christine’s like “yes, finally a hot alien who’s into me.”

Meanwhile, with the other two aliens, we see yet another convoluted way of giving Kirk a love interest (=showing the male lead kissing pretty ladies) without actually ever giving him a love interest. “Sargon, you sure did pick a hottie to inhabit.”

This dialogue man: “I’m surprised the Vulcans haven’t conquered you.” / “The Vulcans worship peace above all.” McCoy getting to stand up for Vulcans. He’s always so quick to do that when Spock can’t hear him.

I also love Henoch trying to back track like “Yes, yes, we value peace too, I definitely didn’t immediately start talking about conquering, conquering’s not on my mind, I’ve very peaceful.”

“Spock” smiling is such a weird sight.

Henoch is awesome. I love him. Great villain 10/10. I feel like he’s an excellent example of why you SHOULD kill your enemies, actually.

I agree with McCoy, those three flickering balls ARE foreboding.

Henoch isn’t wrong about the android bodies. They’re a very sensible, practical, and humane solution. But they aren’t any fun, and they aren’t really going to replace what the aliens have been missing.

This plot is ALSO an excuse to have Spock be flirty, for all the audience members who’d been lusting after him for almost two years.

He’s so delightfully passive aggressive. “Oh, didn’t you know? This is your body, Thalassa.”

You can tell ALL these aliens are sneaky bastards at heart. Probably why they destroyed themselves.

Sargon? In my Enterprise? It’s more likely than you think.

“Jim, the receptacles!”

“You’ve killed...your best friend.” McCoy calling Spock Jim’s best friend always gets to me because, first, they really were perceived and understood to be best friends and that’s so lovely, but also, I don’t really think of them that way. I think of Spock as more his soulmate and McCoy as his best friend.

And Jim’s like “well,, that is unfortunate...now time to kill his body!”

I’ll say that I assume Kirk really did think Spock was dead, for the same reason that McCoy thought he was killing Spock’s body--to fool Henoch--but it’s possible he saw Spock transfer to Christine and thus never really thought he’d lost him. But he would have to lie to McCoy again, to fool Henoch.

“My friend, Spock.” Say it again.

This was like the best experience of Christine’s life. She got to share a body with Spock. I’m pretty sure that counts as sex in some cultures.

Well, that was awkward. The aliens suddenly departed and Kirk and Mulhall were still kissing. I feel like Spock was the most awkward about it.

And Christine loves the romance of it. And it is romantic!! But she looks to Spock and he’s like “yeah, whatever, I’m not jealous shut up.”

The only slight fault I see in this ep is there is a LITTLE bit of “well the aliens are just really powerful, so they can solve the plot holes with their Alien Powers” going on, but honestly... these eps aren’t that long for the ideas they put in them, plus, what’s the point of aliens if they can’t just do whatever you say they can do. Fairly small complaint.

But otherwise it had everything: a cool sci fi concept; classic alien tropes like Aliens as Warnings, Aliens Too Smart for Their Bodies, and Very Powerful Aliens; robots; Kirk being awesome and idealistic; the triumvirate; Christine having a good day; a lady scientist; the return of the colorful backgrounds; interesting and unusual ideas like that the aliens were waiting for their own descendants to come back and rescue them (and the Enterprise may or may not be those descendants); a romance; a villain; legitimately interesting relationships among the aliens and characterization of the aliens; and a fun story that moved along at a good pace.

Also I really, really feel like these are among the best characterized aliens/alien society in the whole show. Like maybe I’m just getting too excited about them but I really felt like they were real: they had these great powers but they weren’t just there to show humans how puny they were--they had faults but they weren’t villains--they had morals (Sargon in particular) but their good intentions weren’t good enough. You could see why they destroyed themselves but also why they might have been worth saving--and not just for what they could give to or do for humankind, but as intelligent, living beings in their own right. Even Sargon, who was so powerful he was a deus ex machina in and of himself, and really was genuinely moral and wanted to do what was right, and was never even tempted by the body, still had a certain obvious manipulative streak, and was quite paternalistic. His plan probably never would have worked. But it’s understandable that he wanted to try.

Anyway, as far as sci fi stories go in particular, this ep is one of my faves and it DOES hold up.

Next is Patterns of Force or The Enterprise Defeats Fascism.

#the year 2021 #2021: fandom thoughts #2021: star trek #star trek tos

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softboywriting · 5 years ago

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At First Sight | Part One| Werewolf AU | Shawn Mendes

Summary: You move to a werewolf community with your mom to start a new life. You’ve always dreamed of finding a mate and having a fairy tale romance like your parents once had, and maybe this place is where it’s finally going to happen. [fluff] [mates] [werewolf au] [half-blood au]

Word Count: 3.4k

|Masterlist In Bio|

The second you stepped in to the Lunacasa community you knew you were home. It had been so long since you felt safe anywhere and to be in a place where werewolves were the only ones allowed was something else.

When you were a child your parents home schooled you until you were about fifteen, when your dad passed away unexpectedly in a car accident. After that you went to a local high school because your mom simply couldn't work and teach you anymore. High school was a nightmare, as it was for many young teens. However your case was different. You didn't blend in so well. Werewolves were known to humans and most of them looked like humans with little to no defining features. Your problem is that you look human, ninety nine percent human, until you get to your ears.

Unfortunately you had gotten unlucky in the gene pool. Your mother, a werewolf and your father, a human, happened to result in you having small wolf like ears that stick out from the sides of your head where your normal human ears should be. It's as if you're mid transformation all the time and your ears just got stuck halfway between human and wolf.

It wasn't unheard of that werewolves and humans intermixed, but most often it was uncommon that they successfully had a child. When they did, well, usually it turned out human looking but without the ability to shape shift and maybe some weakened senses if it survived at all. You were...well to put it plainly, one in a million. The doctors think you tried to shift in the womb and things got a little messed up. Your hearing isn't too badly affected thankfully, it's not the best but it's alright. The doctors said its a result of the deformity.

Going to a public high school was torture. People didn’t want to be your friend, they picked on you relentlessly and you weren't allowed to cover your ears with a hat or any head wear, per school policy. Every week without fail, someone pulled your ears and or howled at you. Not even any of your werewolf peers would stand up for you. It was hell.

Graduation came soon enough and then you were free to be yourself in the real world. In theory anyways. Companies don't want to hire a girl with wolf ears. They don't even finish interviews with girls with wolf ears, no matter how much experience you put on your resume, they didn't care.

Thankfully you managed to get into the call center your mom worked part time at, and because it was dealing with customers over the phone only, they hired you. The job was a blessing. You were able to help your mom make the bills and put food on the table. Things were looking up for you...until more werewolves moved into your area. Male werewolves in particular.

The first night two wolves followed you home you knew you were in trouble. After that you refused to go out alone, anytime or any place, someone had to go with you.

For two years you lived like this, hiding in your house or making sure that you were never alone in fear a rogue wolf would take you. You always covered your ears when you went out. Scarves, hats, headbands and hoods, all of them worked and did wonders when you went shopping with your mom.

It wasn't until your mom heard about a community upstate that was hiring a teacher for onsite kindergarten and preschool grade wolves that you realized you had a chance to escape the hell you had been living in.

A community with Werewolves where humans wouldn't judge you and you would be accepted how you were and not tailed by wolves looking for a cute wolf to fuck and forget. It was a dream and you knew your mom had to get this job. For weeks your mom applied and interviewed for the position, often driving several hours to the community for them after work. The job was a golden opportunity. It would mean rent free living because she would be an employee within the community. Combine that with safety and security within the area and you were set for life.

Weeks went by without a word and then one day a woman called and said your mom got the job. A few days later and you are well on your way to the Lunacasa community.

_____________________

You stand in a grand hall that's beautifully decorated with hanging chandeliers and art between every window. It looks almost like a high end art gallery of some sort. To be honest, when you heard the word community you figured it would be just like a gated neighborhood or something. Needless to say your expectations have been blown out of the water.

This community is huge. Driving into the place was like driving through a small town. You passed shops and homes as you drove down the main street toward the massive building you’re in now. It is supposedly the community building but it looks more like a giant mansion and you wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was once a mansion that has been converted.

"Maybe you'll find a nice boy here." Your mom says, elbowing you encouragingly as she takes in the main hall.

"I'd love to Mom. You've always told me how you and Dad fell for each other, it makes me want to have something like that."

"I know honey." She wraps her arm around you and lays her head on your shoulder. "I promise you'll find that special someone."

The sound of heels clicking on the wood floor snaps you out of your thoughts. A short curvy middle aged woman with long black hair is approaching followed by a very young, tall and handsome well dressed man behind her.

“Hello! Welcome! You must be Maria!” The woman says excitedly, extending her hand as she clicks closer. Your mom takes it, introduces the two of you and the woman says her name is Nancy and she is the Community Resources Director.

“This is Sha-” Nancy turns to introduce the young man who had been walking with her, only to find he has stopped a few feet back.

You look past Nancy and you can see he is staring at you. A flush rises on your cheeks. Surely he's spotted your ears. Great.

“Shawn? Are you alright?” Nancy asks, frowning.

“Yeah,” Shawn growls, clearing his throat and walking forward to meet you. “I'm fine. I've just got something...stuck, ahem!”

Nancy looks him over curiously. His behavior is obviously alarming her. “This is Shawn, he's the head alpha here. He oversees the pack, community, I'm sorry. If you ever have an issue don't be afraid to talk to him or myself.”

Your mom smiles and nods, continuing her conversation with Nancy but you don't hear a word. All you can focus on is Shawn. There's something about him that makes you want him. His presence is so inviting, warm and familiar. Never before have you felt so interested in someone. You've met other wolves of course but none that have made you feel like this.

Nancy, your mom and Shawn talk a while longer. Just some basic chit chat about Lunacasa and every few seconds Shawn looks at you, eyes on your face and other times sweeping over your body. His gaze didn't make you uncomfortable, and it holds no ill intent, like that of so many wolves that have ogled you before.

The three of them finish talking and Shawn extends his hand out to you as Nancy says she has some papers for your mom to sign for the new position.

“I can show you around while Nancy gets your mom set up for work.”

“Oh, um...” You look down and bite the inside of your cheek. You're sure it would be rude to refuse him without a legitimate reason. You didn't think you'd be alone with him so soon.

“Please?”

You place your hand on Shawn's and he curls his much larger fingers around yours. You look up and his eyes are alight in a golden amber hue. It takes your breath away. You have never seen golden eyes on a wolf before, its stunning in contrast to his dark hair and lightly tanned skin.

“I promise I don't bite.” He says playfully with a half chuckle.

“What if I like biting?” You cover your mouth, shocked at your own words. Where had that come from? That was not you. No way.

Shawn smirks, and he leans in close. “If you like biting, you'd best let me know.”

"I-I'm so sorry. That was so rude."

He chuckles, a warm smile on his lips. He's clearly brushed it off, or he's just playing along with your outburst as to not make you feel so embarrassed. "No worries. Come on, I'll show you where you'll be staying."

"I hope it's not too far away, I didn’t wear walking shoes." You look down at your slip on flats and back up to Shawn.

Shawn rubs his thumb over the back of your hand in his and suddenly you realize he hasn't let go of it yet. "Most of the housing isn't too far from the main building. Everything is in walking distance currently, but no, your place isn’t far."

You walk with Shawn through the building until you reach a large set of double doors. "Can I ask you something?" You ask as Shawn pushes open the doors to a big garden enclosed by the building and several small homes.

"Anything."

You look around at the garden you've walked into. There are a bunch of kids running around and giggling, running along the stone paths and playing catch with a ball. "How are you the alpha in charge?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're fairly young right? You don't look much older than me."

Shawn hums and leads you to a path that goes toward the back of a small brick house. "If you had to guess, how old do you think I am?"

"Um, well, I'm twenty one. So...maybe twenty three?"

"Close. I'm twenty five. My turn to ask a question."

"Okay?" You stop outside the front door to the house and Shawn runs his hand over your left ear, taking the tip between his fingers to rub gently.

"How did this happen?"

"My ears?"

"Mmmhmm."

You reach up and cover them with your hands. The familiar feeling of insecurity creeps up your spine and your heart sinks, this place isn't going to be different is it. "I was born like this, it’s a defect of being a half blood. Is that a problem?"

Shawn laughs, out right laughs. Not a response you expected. "Absolutely its not a problem. I think they're very cute and definitely unique. I’ve never seen ears like this. Are you a half-blood?"

"Y-yeah."

"That's incredible." He reaches for your hands and pulls them away from your head. "They’re beautiful. Don't hide your ears, they're part of you."

"It's a habit. Having ears like this isn't easy."

"We're going to change that." He puts his fingers under your chin and lifts your head to look at him. Your heartbeat skyrockets. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to find me. I'm always around."

"O-oh okay. So this is my place then?"

"Mmm." Shawn hands you a small key and you close your hand around it. "I'll let you explore on your own now. Remember, I'm always available."

_____________________

"What do you think?" Your mom asks you a few days later after you've gotten everything moved into the house. It's a small place, only slightly bigger than your apartment in the city but just right for the two of you.

You turn to look at her from the kitchen where you're unpacking a box of pans and utensils. "About what?"

"This place. What's your first impression?"

"It's nice. Everyone has been really friendly so far. The grounds look well kept up." You stack pans in the cupboard under the sink. You can't help but think about Shawn. The way he made you feel all warm and cozy with just a look was unlike anything you've felt before. You wonder if he could be your mate.

"How about Shawn?" Your mom says in that teasing, 'I know something you don't' type of voice.

You stand and look at her, wondering if she was somehow a mind reader now. Sure enough she's got a little grin on her face. "Mom, he's the alpha. He's nice I guess."

"Do you like him?"

"Of course. He is very polite."

"Polite hmm?"

"Mom!"

"Oh come on! That boy had eyes for your across the room! Anyone could see he was flirting with you. What did you talk about after I left the first day? Does he like your ears? I heard he likes them."

You flush and you can feel the heat creep down your neck. "Who said he likes them?"

"He did." Your mom walks over and leans against the counter, smirking triumphantly. "He said he thinks you're a lovely young lady and that he thinks your ears unique. We talked a little about how I got pregnant and stuff and how rare it is to have a half blood."

"You talked about me?!"

"Well, not like you specifically! We just talked about how rare it is to find someone like you."

You cover your face and groan. "Mom, I don't want everything to be about my ears here. I want to be me, to be accepted as a normal person and not defined by my stupid ears."

"I'm sorry baby." She lays her hand on your back. "I promise I won't talk to anyone about you anymore. I didn't want to be rude and Shawn was curious. I promise, no more. You're just you, okay?"

"Thanks Mom." A knock on the back door to the garden gets your attention and you look to your mom. "Did you invite someone over?"

"No?" She goes to the door and opens it to find Shawn standing there with a little box. "Shawn, hello. What brings you here?"

Shawn steps in at your mom's invitation and he looks around with a soft smile. "The place looks cozy "

"Thank you."

He extends the box in his hands to your mom. "This is a welcoming gift from Nancy and I. We made them last night."

You walk into the living room as your mom takes the top off the box. Inside is a bunch of mini muffins. "You made these?"

"Mmhmm. I wanted to do something special for the two of you to welcome you to Lunacasa. I know it's not much, and I hope they're good."

You smile at Shawn and he gives a warm smile right back. Your mom says she's going to take them to the kitchen and you step forward so she can go around you.

"How are things going?" Shawn asks softly, looking around the house once more. "You've unpacked a lot."

"It's going alright. We have a lot to work through, boxes and stuff. My bed is still against the wall in my room. It'll be another long night on the couch probably."

"Do you need help?"

"Um..." You look around. You want to say no, but you actually would love some help. It's Shawn and you definitely have a crush on him, so you kind of don't want him to help. "I-"

"Honey, I think I left some stuff in the trailer." Your mom says, grabbing her keys off the table in the dining area. "I'll be right back." She gives you a look as she slips out the door, one that you know means she didn't actually forget anything. She's just giving you space with Shawn.

Shawn chuckles and raises his eyebrows. "So? Can I help?"

"Y-yeah. Can you move a bed?"

"Definitely."

Shawn follows you into your bedroom. Your bed is propped up against the far wall with your box spring beside it. The frame is put together already since it's just a quick slide and bolt together set up. You go to one side of the box spring and Shawn goes to the other.

"Have you lived with wolves before?" Shawn asks as you tip the box spring onto its side and slide it onto the frame. "Or is this your first time?"

"This is my first time living with other wolves. There were some in my neighborhood but they weren't exactly a great crowd."

The two of you flip the mattress onto the box spring and shift it into place. You fall onto it, losing your footing on accident and Shawn sits down beside you as the two of you laugh. "You never answered my question by the way." You say, realizing that the other day when you asked him how he became the one in charge of the community, he didn't actually answer you.

"What's that?"

"How did you come to be in charge of this place?"

"Oh, right." Shawn lays back and his head is touching yours. "My dad founded this place as a safe haven for wolves when I was a kid. He got sick a few years back when I was eighteen. He didn't seem to get any better, he said he was, but I could tell. He taught me everything I needed to know. How to be kind and compassionate, and how to be the support people needed. He taught me, this isn't just a pack, it's a community. He was gone a few weeks later."

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, it's been a while now." Shawn looks over at you as you look at him. "Sorry I kind of dumped that on you. I didn't mean to put that kind of weight on your shoulders"

"No, I asked."

Shawn reaches up and runs his fingers over your ear causing you to shiver. "Do you mind if touch them?"

"Not really. Just be careful."

He sits up and you go to sit up too but he stops you, a hand on your shoulder. He moves around behind you on the mattress and sits so you can put your head in his lap. It's intimate, so much so that you're not sure what to do besides stare up at the man before you. Things are happening fast and you aren't sure how to feel. You're not uncomfortable, but you don't think you should be as comfortable as you are.

"Is this okay?"

"Y-yeah. Should we be doing this?"

"Doing what?"

"My head is in your lap. You're petting my ears. We've only just met a few days ago. I shouldn't be so comfortable with you should I?"

Shawn chuckles softly. "I can definitely tell you haven't been around wolves. This is normal for wolves who have an attraction to each other. For humans it might seem a little fast, but with wolves, the sooner we can be physically affectionate the better."

"Is that why you feel so familiar, like I've known you forever?"

"Mmmhmm." He runs his hand over your left ear.

“I wonder if this is what my mom means when she tells me about how her and my dad fell in love at first sight.”

Shawn stops touching your ears and takes a deep breath. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure?"

"Since I saw you I’ve wanted nothing more than to hold you against my chest and fall asleep with you in my arms. Sleeping with someone, being close and vulnerable is my biggest weakness." He's flushed, as if embarrassed to admit this. "I haven't felt this way for someone before, and I just don’t want it to stop.

"What if you don't really like me?"

"What?"

"I mean, what if we get to know each other and we aren't compatible. What if this is just a honeymoon phase?"

He grins and shakes his head. "Wolves don't have that. When we connect with someone, it's not like having a crush and then you find out maybe that person isn't all you thought they were. Wolves are drawn to each other, pulled together by forces unknown. We are connected deeper than surface emotions."

"Like magic? Or fate?"

"Magic, fate, love at first sight, you can call it anything you like." He grabs your hand and brings it up to his to press his palm to yours. His hand is much bigger and it's so warm you can't help but thread your fingers between his. "The bond is unbreakable. We're part of each other's lives now that we've met."

"I think this is definitely what my parents had." You smile, looking up at him. "I've always wanted to-"

"Honey, I'm back, are you-" you look over at your mom standing in the doorway. "Here?"

You sit up, flushed hot head to toe and you scoot away from Shawn. How embarrassing. Shawn stands and offers his hand to help you up. He can tell you're not comfortable with your mom seeing the two of you together.

"I'll see you around then?"

"Yeah."

"Ma'am," he smiles, nodding at your mom as he passes to see himself out.

"Please don't say anything." You mumble, staring at the floor.

You mom is quiet for a second. "I ordered dinner."

"Okay." You turn and busy yourself with a box of clothes. "Thanks Mom."

"No problem honey."

End part one

-------------

I know this is a cheesy and dorky and so cliche soulmate-y au but it was what I wanted to write at the time. I’ll probably post another part soon.

Please Reblog if you read, enjoyed, or just want to save for later!

Thank you again. You’re all amazing and supportive!! - A

*****Note: none of my works should be posted anywhere outside of my linked accounts. I do not give permission to repost with or without credit to my accounts. Please notify me of any reposted fics.*****

#shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes writing #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fics #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes au fic #shawn mendes werewolf au #shawn mendes blurbs #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes one shot

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ripley95 · 4 years ago

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Echoes of Old Embers

Chapter 10

Pairing: F!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko

Rating: T

Chapter length: 3.5K

Story Synopsis:

After surviving the war, one of Shepard’s biggest regrets was rejecting Kaidan at Apollo’s. Fate has a way of bringing Jane and Kaidan back into each other’s lives. A misunderstanding with his family makes Kaidan and Shepard relive old history and question where they stand.

Link to Chapter 1 on AO3

Chapter Synopsis:

Shepard helps Kaidan’s mother prepare food for Libby’s wedding. They get to know each other better while Shepard worries about saying something to deepen the misunderstandings surrounding her relationship with Kaidan.

Read to Chapter 10 on AO3

Tumblr Links:

Read the chapter here below the cut:

Shepard watched Kaidan as he went outside to go work on the yard before she headed towards the kitchen to help Ada, dishes from their breakfast still in hand. She paused in front of the doorway, steeling herself to go in. Now that she’d thought about it, putting her foot in her mouth again was a significant risk and maybe being alone with Kaidan’s mother wasn’t as safe as she’d been making it out to be.

Whether she’d be putting her foot in her mouth or not, time was wasting, so she pushed herself to go into the kitchen. Ada was already busy at work preparing everything. She was pulling out baking dishes, utensils and all sorts of ingredients. Thanks to the war ending, and everyone still trying to rebuild society, Shepard figured that luxuries like catering businesses were probably not a priority right now. This wedding wasn’t supposed to be huge by any means, but she knew there was going to be a decent amount of people there. That ensured that there was plenty to do in the kitchen, which didn’t ease the unsettled feeling in her stomach at all, knowing that she might be stuck here helping with prep all day. It provided much more time for something else to go wrong.

“Ah, there you are,” Ada said, turning around to glance at Shepard, still busy getting everything out to prepare. “You can just put those dishes in the sink for now. We’ll have plenty needing to be washed by the end of all this prep work,” she said as she turned back to pulling out more ingredients and recipes.

Shepard followed her orders, like the good soldier she was, placing the dishes down gingerly and washing her hands.

“So, what are we making?”

“Well, there’ll be a lot,” Ada said with a laugh tinged with a bit of frustration at the notion. “Luckily, some of my friends have agreed to come cook everything tomorrow, so we won’t have to worry about it. Still, I want to try to prep as much as I can today to make their lives easier. The one we’ll start with is my famous glazed carrots. It’s one of the sides that Libby wanted. In the fall, we make apple cider and store it in the freezers so it can last a while. We still have a batch from the last harvest that somehow made it through the war. I use that as a marinade with some spices and butter. I don’t usually like tooting my own horn, but it’s delicious,” she said with a proud smile.

“I can’t say that I’ve ever had anything like that before, but it sure sounds good,” Shepard said, legitimately intrigued with the idea of it. She supposed anything was better than what she was used to lately, but she’d already sampled Ada’s cooking and she couldn’t imagine anything coming from her tasting bad.

“I’m not going to lie, it’s one of my favourite dishes. I was happy to know that Libby thought of it fondly enough to have it at her wedding. That being said, I’m used to making it for a family of six, not for a gathering of more than fifty people, so I think we have our work cut out for us. Kaidan’s sure capable of tucking a lot of it away, too, so we also have to account for that,” she said with a laugh.

“It sounds like we should get to it then. Where do you want me?”

“I already have you set up over here,” Ada said, lightly slapping a pile of bagged carrots that she had put on the large island in the centre of the kitchen. It had barstools on the opposite side. “I figured this would be the easiest. You can sit or stand as you please when you need to give your leg a rest.”

Shepard nodded and went over to the other side and sat down on one of the stools. Her leg was feeling okay, but she thought it best to rest it in case she might be up and busy helping more tomorrow morning before the wedding.

“How did you know it was my leg?” Shepard asked curiously.

“Hmm?” Ada asked, confused.

“I mentioned that I was injured before, but I don’t think we ever specifically mentioned that it was my leg.”

“Ah. Well, I didn’t always help run the orchard, you see,” she said with a wistful smile.

“Oh?” Shepard said, opening the bags of carrots and picking up the peeler.

“Here, put the shavings in this,” she said, handing Shepard a bucket. “We’ll use those for the compost later. I used to be a nurse. I got my start in the Alliance, too, actually.”

“Really?” Shepard looked up to her in disbelief. She wasn’t expecting that. “I’m surprised Kaidan never mentioned that.”

“Ah, he was probably doing that to grant mercy on me,” she said with a chuckle. “I was only enrolled very briefly, mind you, and this was way back in the earlier days of the Alliance when there was much less interplanetary travel. I’ve still never been off-planet. I’m sure you can’t even imagine what that’s like,” she said, giving Shepard a smile.

Shepard chuckled. “Not really. I was born in space. Spent most of my life there.”

“Sounds amazing,” Ada said, giving her a smile. “Then again, I think anything opposite from what you’re used to is bound to sound a little amazing. Maybe it’s nothing but routine for you.”

“There’s definitely some truth to that,” Shepard agreed. “I don’t know if I would quite call it routine. With my job, there was rarely ever a dull moment, but yeah, I would say space is what I’m used to. Probably doesn’t hold the same amount of wonder as it would for someone who’s never been up there. Meanwhile, seeing where you live has been pretty stunning. Not that I’ve never been ground-side, but every place I go is so unique. I haven’t seen anything quite like this before.”

Ada nodded in agreement.

“I’m not sure if you’re just trying to change the subject on me, but you can’t bring up being in the Alliance and not tell me that story,” Shepard said with a curious smile.

“Ha, I should have expected that I wouldn’t be able to pull one over on Commander Shepard,” she said with a laugh. “I suppose my reason for joining the Alliance was the same reason that a lot of people joined. I wanted to get into the medical field. I had already gone to school, but the Alliance was offering a program where they’d reimburse education expenses. It would have helped me a lot at the time, so I decided to give it a shot. Maybe you guessed it by now, but it’s how I met Ethan,” she said, with a whimsical smile.

Shepard stopped peeling the carrot and stared at her, surprised that Kaidan would have kept such a secret about how his parents met, especially with how familiar it was to their own circumstances. “Forbidden romance?” she asked, intrigued.

“You could say that, though, I think it’s probably even worse than you’re thinking. It wasn’t just the regs that were an issue. Ethan was a patient of mine. Not very ethical of me, I know,” she said with the same shit-eating grin that Kaidan had. As much as she was talking about ethics, she clearly found the situation amusing, which made Shepard smile.

“So, what was it? Love at first sight? Did you leave the Alliance so you could be together?” Shepard questioned with a smile.

“Oh no, nothing like that at all, actually. We maintained a respectable distance even though I was quite taken with him even early on. The first time I ever saw him, he came into medical with a sprained ankle from training. I don’t know what he did to it, but it looked like a cantaloupe, and must have hurt like hell. Even through the pain, he was cracking jokes the whole time. We hit it off immediately, but we didn’t act on anything until much later. After he recovered, he’d come around every now and then to catch up. Sometimes he’d bring me a coffee. Actually, he’d bring them for everyone on my shift, but I’m pretty sure it was an excuse to see me. He never did it when I wasn’t there.”

Shepard couldn’t help herself from smiling at that. From everything she’d heard over the last few days, Kaidan sounded like he was the spitting image of his dad.

“We’d chat on my breaks, but we never started anything romantic that early on, no,” she said, looking sombre recounting old memories. “No, you see, there’s this little hangup when you join the Alliance. Even when you just want to be in medical or engineering or anything not involved in the actual combat, you need to at least have basic weaponry certification. Let’s just say, my certification classes didn’t go very well. I kept screaming every time a gun went off. The first time I had to actually fire a weapon, not only did I scream again, but I also dropped the gun because I was so scared of it and proceeded to pass out. When I came to, I believe I asked if I shot anyone, to which I heard the whole class laughing behind me. Luckily the guns automatically go into safety mode when you lose contact with it.” she said, looking directly at Shepard, distracting herself away from her busy hands momentarily. “But look who I’m talking to. Of course, you know all of that already. Anyway,” she continued, looking back down at the food, starting to work with it again, “I was so panicked that I didn’t remember it at the time, and I was concerned I may have killed someone. So as you can imagine, I was discharged pretty swiftly after that. I wasn’t all that disappointed, mind you. I didn’t have much hope for myself to get over that fear. Yet another area that I suspect we’re different,” Ada said with a smile, no harshness behind her words.

Shepard smiled at that, as she peeled the carrots. “You could say that,” she said.

“Yes, well, as soon as Ethan learned that I had been discharged, he looked me up and asked me out. He really didn’t waste any time with that. I suppose the rest is history. I wasn’t particularly proud of my time in the Alliance, so I think my kids tend to keep that piece of information to themselves for my sake. Now anyway. There was a fair amount of teasing when they finally learned about it for themselves. I may not have been any good at it, but the Alliance is pretty important in the Alenko household.”

“Now, there’s something that we have in common,” Shepard said.

“Oh, is that right? I was never fond of the term, but Kaidan did call you a ‘military brat’ earlier. So you come from an Alliance background, yourself, then do you?”

“I do. My parents were both Alliance. Dad died for the cause.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Ada said genuinely.

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. I barely knew him.” Ada nodded at that, not wanting to open old wounds. “My mom’s still going strong, though. She’s an Admiral now.”

“Impressive. She already sounds like an amazing woman.”

“She is. She worked hard for it. But anyway, back to you. I believe you were trying to tell me how you picked up on the fact that it was my leg that was injured.”

“Ah, right. I tend to lose my train of thought easily. After I was discharged from the Alliance, that didn’t change my original plans of working in the medical field. I saw more than my fair share of cases like yours. I think you hide it well. It’s hardly visible, but I can tell that your leg is still bothering you. I’m not sure what happened to you, but it must have been severe if you’ve only just been released from the hospital recently.”

Shepard stopped peeling for a moment, trying hard not to relive the Citadel collapsing on top of her, or the months of surgeries and physical therapy. “Yeah, you could say that.”

Ada had been measuring out ingredients and mixing the marinade the entire time that she had been talking, but that was enough to make her stop and look at Shepard.

“Has anyone told you how much they appreciate what you’ve done?”

“All the time,” Shepard said dryly.

“I suppose that’s not to be unexpected. I have a feeling most people don’t understand the full extent of your sacrifice and duty when they say that, though.”

Shepard looked up at her then, carrot and peeler still idle in her hands.

“Kaidan told us about the Reapers, you know. I mean way back in ’83.”

“He did?”

“Oh, yes. He told me a lot about his time serving with you. How cold was Noveria, by the way? It’s notorious for its harsh weather. Kaidan called me afterwards. He clearly had the sniffles. I told him to wear a sweater,” she said, shaking her head at the memory. “You know what, nevermind. I’m already losing track again,” she said, as Shepard had to silently laugh to herself. “Anyway, that was all years ago now. I think the right people put money towards squashing the rumours that there was a threat. Most people moved on with life as though nothing happened after the Citadel was attacked. But there were some of us who questioned things. People got wind of something going on. I asked Kaidan if he believed they were dangerous and he told me that he believed they were. He told us about all the push-back you were getting, but as far as we were concerned, it was all I needed to hear on the matter. It’s the reason that Ethan jumped so quickly to go back into the Alliance when they finally landed. He knew everything was at stake because his son said so.”

Shepard nodded, already knowing Mr. Alenko’s fate thanks to that dedication, not really knowing what to say to a grieving widow about loss. She had never experienced anything quite like that. She figured Kaidan was actually better equipped to handle that one.

Ada shook her head, looking out the large kitchen window. Shepard turned to see what she was looking at and noticed that she was watching Kaidan working outside.

“Ethan and Kaidan were so alike in so many ways. Ethan never backed down from a fight when he was able to protect the things he loved. The moment I heard about Kaidan joining the Normandy again after becoming a Spectre, I always thought there might have been something more to it. Of course, I would have expected Kaidan to jump at the chance to really try to make a difference during the war no matter what, especially when fighting the Reapers was so important to him, but there was more to it than that. I knew he had someone important in his life.”

Shepard looked back to Ada then, another pang of guilt hitting her. Apparently, the misunderstanding had gotten to her too.

Ada must have caught the look on her face and put her hands up in protest. “It’s none of my business. I know my kids have been squabbling about the two of you since you got here, but you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Kaidan said you’re not together, and I’ll take his word for it until he’s the one to say otherwise. But my point still stands. There’s something between the two of you. Maybe not a romance, but he cares for you. You’re important to him.”

That immediately calmed Shepard down. She liked Ada’s relaxed attitude towards the whole matter. Finally, she nodded in agreement. “He’s important to me too.”

“So I thought. A mother can tell these things,” she said with a cheeky grin. “He may not have said so in words, but it was pretty clear how much he cared about you, even back then. Every time we managed to have a vid call, I always asked him how he was doing. Without fail, he always had this smile that you could tell he was trying to hide a little, but the truth was really in the eyes. You know, eyes have a harder time lying, and his were always beaming. It was the same thing after he joined the Normandy for the second time. To be honest, I wasn’t surprised at all when Kaidan came walking through that door with you,” she said, nodding her head towards the front door. “When he called me to tell me he was bringing someone to the wedding, he had that same look in his eyes.”

Shepard tried to avert Ada’s gaze, and busy herself with the carrots then, but she couldn’t help a small smile forming at the knowledge. Even if it wasn’t because he had romantic interests for her, it felt nice that he still cared, and was happy at the prospect of bringing her back home with him.

“See,” Ada said, enthusiastically, making Shepard glance back up to her, still trying to peel the carrots in her hand. “The eyes don’t lie.”

That brought out a real smile from Shepard, unable to contain it now.

“Ah-ha,” Ada said, completely happy with herself, acting as though she caught Shepard with her hand in the cookie jar, before relaxing again. “Don’t worry. I said I’d stay out of it and I will. But it’s nice to know that whatever it is that you have with my son is reciprocated,” she said with a smile.

“It is.”

Ada nodded at that before looking back to what she was doing while Shepard winced inwardly with yet another pang of guilt, knowing that it wasn’t exactly reciprocated. That maybe it could have been if she hadn’t rejected him at Apollo’s so foolishly. That now, it was just her awkwardly fawning after him in her head while having to go out of her way to put up a wall between them. Luckily, Ada didn’t seem to notice her reaction as she continued the conversation.

“Back in ’83, I didn’t know it was you, of course. We didn’t even know much about his mission at all, but anytime we talked to him, he was always just... happy. Usually, with those same eyes you just had.”

“Really?” Shepard asked, already knowing it was true. That was the one and only time in their history together where they ever acted on anything. Where they abandoned the regs, and said what they felt. It was the only time she let herself get that close to anyone.

“Oh, you better believe it. And it’s the same look I got from him during the war, too, right up until the very end,” she said with a smile. “And you want to know a secret?” she asked coyly. Shepard didn’t respond, and just looked up to her with curiosity. “It’s the same look I saw in him this morning when we were making breakfast together, too. He’s almost a different person around you,” she said, going about the preparations.

“What was that about not meddling?” Shepard asked, keeping the accusation playful.

“Not meddling, just figured you might want to know,” she said defensively.

Shepard narrowed her eyes at Ada, knowing precisely what she was getting at. Truth be told, she really didn’t know what to think of that information. She liked to think she was a different person around Kaidan too, but that didn’t necessarily have romantic implications. Maybe none of that mattered. The regs were still an issue. She still hoped to be back on active duty again someday. Just because she made it out of the war didn’t mean death wasn’t a possibility anymore. Nothing about their relationship or history was easy. She didn’t know that what she’d just heard really changed anything.

“Now that I’ve talked you into oblivion, why don’t you tell me about space?” Ada said, with an err of genuine excitement and interest. “And your mother, too. I think we all know a bit about Commander Shepard, but why don’t you tell me about Jane,” she said with a smile.

With that, the solemn feeling that had settled in Shepard’s gut lifted slightly. Talking about Kaidan and long-lost wishes she wanted to be fulfilled was difficult. She wasn’t ordinarily fond of talking about herself, but it might serve as a good distraction in this case. Once again, her mantra played in her head.

‘This will all be over soon.’

#f!Shenko #f!Shepard/Kaidan Alenko #f!Shepard #Kaidan Alenko #mass effect #fanfiction #mass effect fanfiction #mini slow burn #friends to lovers #angst #accidental dating #my writing #my fic on tumblr

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itsclydebitches · 5 years ago

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3 topics this time!

1.) I was watching Sarcastic Chorus’ video on Star Vs The Forces of Evil, and near the end there was a comment that stuck with me. “These ideas are present, but not fully explored. I like to call them the window shopping of ideas.”

And that was just such a perfect way of describing it. When I first heard it, I immediately thought of My Hero Academia and RWBY. And while both have this problem in spades, RWBY is much more obvious about it. Every single time RWBY introduces a concept they’ll look at it, try it on for a bit, and then dump it on the floor for other people to deal with, and then leave without buying into anything.

Raven? Dumped. Beacon? Dumped. Has anyone seen Tai? Glynda? Sun? Are the grimm still roaming around? Are we sure that Salem hasn’t yet retrieved the relic from Beacon? Wasn’t Nora supposed to get development? Are she and Ren still having problems? Shouldn’t Jaune be learning how to control his semblance better? Especially since it’s something so helpful? Didn’t Robyn need immediate medical attention? But she somehow survived? And is perfectly okay? How? Wasn’t she in a serious medical condition? Is Haven still in chaos? Where is Watts? Is he locked up? Or did he escape while the mains were throwing their temper tantrums? Where’s Tyrian? Where are all of the other students? All dumped. Little to no explanation, and off to the next shop.

2.) I disappeared for a bit after your recap because I was so purely infuriated with the last two episodes. Ironwood shooting Oscar feels ignorable to me in a way because it’s such an out of left field, ooc moment, that my brain is just refusing to acknowledge it. It’s horrible, terrible writing. And it feels a lot like shark jumping.

But as someone who started writing fanfiction in middle school, I get where they were coming from. They wanted a fall from grace story. Cool. Got it. But that takes time. If they wanted to do this properly, it should have been given much more time. Hit the topic episode 1 of the season and devote little time to anything else. The election? Scrap it. Overall it was barely relevant. Robyn. Skip it. Again, barely relevant. Don’t have Ruby&Co hiding info. That takes up time and attention. Have them put all of their cards on the table immediately. (It also serves to not make them hypocrites.) Give the teams another solution to save everyone. (At least a reasonably feasible one.)

Have the kids argue it out. Have Ironwood refuse to budge because they’ve already put too much time into the plan before Ruby and friends came along. Have Weiss go to her mother ask her to set up a meeting with the council to protest what Ironwood is doing. And have her gain their trust by revealing what her father has been doing. If you really want to do this in such little time, it’s possible, but you have to dedicate the time that you do have to it. If you don’t want to do that, and you don’t want to pace it out for another season, then scrap it. In the overall story for the show Ironwood being evil is wholly unnecessary. It adds nothing to the show. Especially since they’ve already done this twist.

You could also make it so that the Ace Ops were going behind Ironwood’s back to betray him to Salem. Have the ace ops getting along with the mains to gather information. You could also have had Ironwood going down a dark path since his reintroduction. Have him plant spyware on them. Have him in shadows. Have him looking menacing in scenes. Alluding to terrible things that he might be doing. Looking at secret files. Messing with the relic. But for the love of god, don’t do what you’ve done. It was messy and lazy. If you can’t (or don’t want to) devote the time and effort to make this work, then remove it from your story.

3.) There was an article about the fan backlash regarding Clover’s death. In it, it talked about how anyone upset was just a whiny woman who was upset that she can’t fantasize about two gay men. And that it wasn’t queerbaiting or burying your gays because Clover wasn’t officially canonized as such. And that the show has Bumblebee, so it can’t be doing either of those things. And I was so disgusted by it and the comments that followed that I had to get off the internet for awhile. There’s just so much wrong with that.

No, Clover was not said to be anything other than straight in canon. (He wasn’t said to be straight either, so…) However, if we are only going with what has explicitly been stated in the show; then I will not be accepting Bumblebee as a legitimate point for the show from the same people any longer.

Do they seem to be headed into a relationship? Sure. And I hope that it gets proper time and follow through. But if we’re only accepting relationships and sexualities by being told in universe, then you can’t use that as a shield. Because nothing has been said. The writers could change their minds, place them in relationships with male characters, say that they’re straight (you better not RT, do not take this as a legitimate idea to do) and act like nothing ever happened. But it wouldn’t matter, according to this logic, because they never technically canonized it. And I know that it’s a little different, given that we’re shown Blake and Yang having signs of romance feelings for each other, but by this argument, nothing matters unless we’re spoon fed information. And that brings me to my next point.

In the history of media wlw pairings have always been more ‘acceptable’ than mlm ones. Because there’s a history of denial and fetishizing them. It it’s women, then of course they’re all over each other! They’re women! With all those emotions and need for physical contact! If they’re in a relationship with another woman? That’s fine! It’s not a real relationship! They’re just playing! They need a man! And just imagine! Two attractive women being attracted to you, good sir! And imagine being such a studly man that these women change their sexualities just for you! Women are fickle after all! They change their minds all the time!

A man in a relationship with another man? Is seen as unnatural. Because straight men can’t fantasize about it. They can’t fetishize it. And therefore, there’s no need for it in media. They don’t want it there. And I don’t want to accuse the writers at RWBY of specifically thinking this way, but it is the way media tends to go. And while the lead characters are women, and a good amount of the fandom are women, there’s still room to question if this is what’s happening. The main leads are all young, thin, and conventionally attractive. Even when in a place that marked by how cold it is, the clothes are more for style and having the girls look attractive over function. The only one of them that looks even remotely clothed appropriately for the weather is Weiss. And when you get to the male characters, they’re either evil, dead, or given so little character that half the time they’re easy to forget. Because the story nor the writing is interested in men.

Also, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend of the writing suddenly getting rid of characters that fans pair with Qrow. First Ozpin, then Ironwood, then Clover. You could probably make an argument for Tai being shunted off once that started to gain traction in fandom as well. It’s creepy.

(Sorry if anything is phrased badly. One of the problems I have with social things is that I never know if I’ve phrased something well enough to get my point across without being offensive. Still working on it, so let me know!)

***

Response under the cut!

1. absolutely love that phrase: “Window shopping ideas.” I feel like I may have heard it before, but not enough for it to stick. It really is perfect though. The story looks at something, seems to consider it seriously, maybe even tries it on… but in the end doesn’t commit. We move onto the next piece of clothing—or even the next store—without, ultimately, having achieved anything other than introducing the possibility of buying a new outfit (telling a cohesive story). One of the most common compliments I hear RWBY get, and one I agree with, is that it has so many cool ideas. The problem is this isn’t a tumblr post going, “Here are all my fun headcanons, random concepts, and nifty details vaguely held together by a broad plot.” Cool ideas alone isn’t enough to carry a mainstream story a lot of people are paying for, certainly not one as long and complex as RWBY has become. Granted, every story has window shopping to a certain extent. We can acknowledge that there are different levels:

Dropping Glynda is super understandable largely due to the issues surrounding her voice actress. Finding someone new for Qrow is one thing because he’s still actively a part of the plot, but if you’ve lost an actress for a character currently off screen, it’s tempting to just keep her off screen. I get that. It’s an arguably smart sacrifice.

Dropping Jaune’s development is somewhat understandable because we acknowledge that change within a cast this size has to cycle. Jaune got to improve last volume through figuring out how to heal that guy’s arm and amplify Ren’s semblance. So his development takes a backseat the next volume to make room for others’. Problem is…

Dropping something like Nora and Ren’s development is both Not Good and actively hurting the justification behind dropping other things (like Jaune). What did we learn about Ren and Nora this volume? Nothing. There was no insight into Nora like we were led to believe there would be. Ren obviously has a lot of stuff he’s trying to work through, but the story actively kept him from working through it by silencing him with a kiss. And the kiss itself? Great in regards to moving forward with their romantic relationship, but we already knew that relationship existed. We were clear about Ren and Nora being a couple up until Ren voiced hesitation… which, as said, was then ignored. The kiss achieved little in the grand scheme of things and, unlike something like Blake/Yang, doesn’t function to provide absolutely needed proof. Again, it’s good we got it, it just wasn’t done particularly well and was done in place of much more important development. I don’t need them to kiss this second because their moments in Volume 4-6 firmly established that they’re a couple. I do need to know more about who Nora is, whether Ren agrees with Ironwood, and why he’s so torn about this relationship that just the concept of hitting a fake version of Nora in battle makes him cry. (Because seriously, don’t they spar? That was clearly something much bigger than just not wanting to his his girlfriend.)

So… yeah. A lot of window shopping. Which connects to:

2. The fact that yeah, there was too much going on this volume which resulted in none of it getting the time it needed. We keep coming back to the question of “What is the point?” What was the point of resurrecting Penny if she wasn’t going to grow as a person, or help Ruby do the same? What’s the point of spending so much time on Robyn learning to trust Ironwood only for her to immediately reject him on the airship? What’s the point of devoting time to Qrow and Clover’s friendship if Qrow thinks so little of it he’ll team up with Tyrian instead? What was the point of framing Penny? What’s the point of spending SO much time showing justified and sympathetic scenes of Ironwood if you’re going to take a sharp right and randomly make him shoot a kid in the finale? What’s the point of the group being devastated by Ozpin lying to them if they’re just going to turn around and tell the same lies? Nothing amounted to anything. All the time we spent developing Thing A was dropped for Thing B. Continuing the analogy, the characters spent a whole volume admiring the red dress, checking the price, talking about reasons why this was the perfect purchase for them to make… only to turn around and buy a pair of pants instead, something we haven’t even seen them look at, let alone try on. The journey these characters took is entirely disconnected from where they ended up.

3. Oof yeah. All of that is a complex af topic that deserves more than my quick response… but suffice to say, anyone who believes that “wasn’t queerbaiting or burying your gays because Clover wasn’t officially canonized as such” fundamentally doesn’t understand what queerbaiting is. The whole point is that it’s NOT canonized. Like Blake/Yang remain. I admit 100% that Clover and Qrow were not teased in the same way that other potential queer couples have been (such as Dean/Cas in Supernatural), but there were a lot of hints and coding that encouraged a queer reading regardless and fans are right to point that out, regardless of what RT’s intentions may have been. Even if you don’t want to go that route, this volume still—quite obviously—encouraged a close friendship, something that in and of itself is chock-full of implications given the history of the buddy duo/opposites attract trope. Whether you read Qrow and Clover as platonic or potentially romantic, the end result is the same: two men embodied an intimate and gentle relationship (something rare for two “straight” guys) and then one was horrifically murdered off in order to “justify” the destruction of the one other friendship Qrow still has going. There’s a lot in there for fans to be upset with, especially when it was all set up so poorly. And frankly, until RT actually canonizes Blake/Yang, I’m not going to make any blanket statements about how they would never queerbait, not matter how lightly. Because you’re right. We don’t know what we’ll get in the future and no matter how seemingly obvious it is that they will enter a relationship at some point…we can’t swear that it will actually make it on screen. In which case everything we’ve seen—romantic hand-holding, intense blushes, going out on presumed dates—would enter the realm of really intense queerbaiting, which in turn would drastically color how viewers read Clover and Qrow. You proved with one couple that you’re willing to string viewers along… so why would we claim you weren’t doing the same here, even though it was a lot more subtle? As an on-going series it’s hard to make any definite statements about RWBY’s representation, but given how long it’s taking for their presumed, primary queer couple to get together (no matter how little time has passed in-world the writers are still making the fanbase wait years) and the history surrounding Clover and Qrow’s character types as well as the ending they got… I’m more than a little uncomfortable. Just like I was uncomfortable with the decision to make the first queer character a villain who blames her crush for those feelings, her abusive relationship, all while trying to murder her parents. That stuff hurts in a world where queer media is still both rare and often badly done. Even if next volume Blake/Yang becomes canon and RT has A+ rep moving forward, we’re still left for the next year with one queer coded character denouncing all his male friendships, one close male friend dead, and two women dancing around each other. Volume 7 has a lot of things that on their own aren’t necessarily that bad, but pull them all together and it paints a far worse picture.

(Also yeah, another anon mentioned how RWBY is popular because it’s not fanservice and I’m like, “Yes… but also no lol. I have things to say about how ‘We don’t do giant breasts or pantie shots!’ shouldn’t be the only bar we strive to meet.)

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #mymetas #submission

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years ago

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663.

The Collector : What is in your Nine Inch Nails collection? What are you favourite items to own? >> I don’t have an NIN collection. I just took this survey because it seemed to have okay questions when I skimmed it. (Only these first four are questions about the band, lol.)

Deep : Favourite Nine Inch Nails Music Video? >> Closer, I guess. It’s the only one I remember aside from Only, which wasn’t all that interesting (song’s catchy, though).

The Frail : Favourite Nine Inch Nails Album? >> The Downward Spiral, I suppose. Never really thought about it. Year Zero was good too.

All The Love In The World : Favourite Nine Inch Nails Song? >> I don’t have one. There are a fair few that I like, of course, but I’ve never looked at one and thought “this one is my absolute favourite of all the NIN songs I know”.

Happiness In Slavery : Do you enjoy your job or school life? >> I don’t have either of those and I’m quite content that way.

Burning Bright (Field on Fire) - Do You Feel That During The Years As You Have Grown Up, You Feel Reborn? >> Death and rebirth is kind of just a theme with me, in general.

The Fragile : Do You Think You Can Fix A Broken Person? >> I think a person that feels broken can eventually come to feel less so. I don’t think that it’s anyone else’s responsibility to guide them there. I do think that other people can be a vital source of support and encouragement during that process, if they choose to be.

Ringfinger - What Are Your Feelings On Marriage/Relationships? >> I think marriage and romantic relationships are, you know, great. I don’t necessarily want to partake in romance, myself, but I see their value for others. (And, obviously, I see the legal/social value for marriage, seeing as that’s mostly why I agreed to it in the first place.)

Terrible Lie - What Is The Biggest Lie You Were Ever Told? >> I have no idea. One time my father didn’t tell me our puppy had run away or gotten loose or whatever until I kept asking where he was. I thought that was dumb.

Help Me I Am In Hell - What Is Your Worst Nightmare? >> I have no idea.

Gave Up - What Is Your Go-To Thing To Calm You Down When You Are Pissed Off? >> Venting to Can Calah. It’s about the safest thing I can do, because I tend to behave irrationally and potentially make things worse when I’m upset.

A Warm Place - Your Favourite Place To Be? >> In my bed, tbh.

While I’m Still Here - How Would You Like To Be Remembered? >> I’ve never given it much thought. I figure it’s beyond my control anyway.

Copy of A - Do You Believe We Are In A Simulation? >> No, but I’m always willing to entertain the idea for thought experiments.

The Becoming - Can You Open Up To Other People Easily? >> Not. At. All.

Underneath It All - Are You Over Your Worst Experience? >> Of course not. Repetitive trauma has left indelible marks on my body and mind. The more I try to pretend otherwise, the worse things get, so I might as well acknowledge it.

Love Is Not Enough - Do You Believe In “Second Chances”? >> Sure. They just don’t have to come from me.

Sunspots - Are You Afraid of Growing Older? >> Nah. I am afraid of becoming infirm, or losing senses, that sort of thing. But not just of growing older in general.

Sin - What Is Your Ultimate Pleasure? >> I have no idea.

Something I Can Never Have - If You Could Say Anything To The One Who Got Away, What Would It Be? >> I don’t have anyone like that.

Dear World, : How Do You Sleep? >> Fitfully, a lot of the time. I was sleeping consistently well for a while but in the last few months it’s been a roller coaster.

I’m Looking Forward To Joining You, Finally : Have you ever lost someone who meant everything to you? >> Sure. Eventually, I figured out that no one can actually mean everything to me, and cut that maudlin shit out.

La Mer : Do you love the ocean or do you have a fear of it? >> I love it and I fear it.

March of the Pigs : Do you eat meat? >> Yeah.

Closer : Do you choose to follow a religion? >> I’m considering it, but it’s a constant source of debate in my head right now. Mostly because I have this idea of religion as a restrictive thing, something that would take away from my personal sense of freedom rather than complementing my search for meaning or whatever. It’s something I feel like I need to discuss with someone other than, you know, my own self, to get some perspective aside from my own, but I have no idea with whom.

Starfuckers Inc. - Celebrities You Think Are Attractive? >> Meh.

Shit Mirror - Are you afraid of where the world is currently heading? >> No. I understand why people are, of course. I just... personally can’t afford to expend any energy on fearing for the future. I have enough on my plate with the present.

I’m Afraid of Americans - Do you follow politics or do you choose to stay out of that stuff? >> I choose to keep my political consumption to a minimum. For one, it legitimately doesn’t interest me most of the time. But also, like... it’s all a shitshow. I don’t think my life is enriched by knowing every little thing going on in Washington, or obsessively watching Democratic debates to figure out who is “best”. I don’t fucking know. I can’t be bothered. I’m legitimately just going to vote for whoever ends up on the blue side of the ballot in November, and hope for the best.

In This Twilight - If the end was nigh, how would you choose to go out? >> I mean, I doubt I’d be able to choose.

Year Zero : Do you have plans for the apocalypse? >> No. I don’t believe in the apocalypse and I tend not to plan for things I don’t actually expect to happen.

The Downward Spiral : Do You Feel Like You Have you reached your lowest point and have you recovered since? >> I don’t know if I’ve reached my lowest point. I’ve reached very, very low points. I think that’s enough. I’d rather not try to see if I can get lower.

Hurt : If you could, would you re-start your life again? >> Please, god, no.

The Wretched : What Do You Hate In Life? >> I hate the lasting effect of trauma.

The Lovers : Do You Have Any Vices? >> Sure. Drinking, mostly.

Maybe Just Once : Do You Feel Like a Lucky Person When It Comes to Love? >> I don’t really know what that means. I’d dare say that I’m pretty unlucky in love in general, because I... have not ever had much of it.

Gunshots by Computer : What Are Your Thoughts On Modern Technology? >> I mean, I love it? It has its downsides like anything else, but I love it all the same.

That’s What I Get : Did You Ever Have an Emo Phase? >> Nah. I pretty much stuck with goth through everything.

Not So Pretty Now: Who Is Your Most Disliked “Celebrity”? >> ---

Every Day Is Exactly The Same : Do You Feel Like You Are Stuck In The Same Routine In Life? >> Well, right now, I kind of do keep to the same routine all the time. I don’t think that I’m necessarily stuck, I just... live like this. It’s fine, for the most part. I’ve had a lot of excitement in the past, it’s not necessarily how I want to live my life all the time.

Get Down, Make Love : Do You Have a Cover Song That Tops The Original? >> Yeah, there are quite a few covers that I prefer to the original. Dream Theater’s cover of Rainbow’s Stargazer is an example.

Screaming Slave : Do You Prefer Heavier Music or Softer Music? >> I like both.

Ahead of Ourselves : Do You Think Toxic People Can Change? >> I think anyone can change. Whether they will or not is the question, not whether they can.

Leaving Hope : Is There A Song That You Listen To That Just Emotionally Destroys You? >> Sure, I guess.

Somewhat Damaged : Have you ever been in a full on physical fight? >> Yeah.

Piggy : Have you ever been betrayed in some way by a person you cared about? >> Eh, maybe. That’s not really the verb I’d use, though.

Lights In The Sky : Thoughts On The Possiblity of an Afterlife? >> The possibility is always interesting to consider.

Big Man With A Gun - Are You For Capital Punishment? >> I really have no opinion.

Eraser : What Would Your Ideal Final Words Be? >> ---

Ghosts I-IV : Do You Have Any Supernatural Beliefs? >> Some would say. Those aren’t the words I would use, though.

You Know What You Are? - Thoughts On Fake People? >> I don’t know any fake people.

Home : Where On Earth Right Now Would You Like To Be? >> I’m fine right here. We just washed bed linens and it’s always nice to burrow into a clean bed.

I’m Not From This World : What song just gives you the creeps? >> I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about a song.

And The Sky Began To Scream : Thoughts on How To Destroy Angels? >> I like a couple of songs. I haven’t really heard anything aside from that one EP, because I kind of keep forgetting to check out their other works.

Tapeworm : Do you have an embarassing illness/accident story you are willing to share? >> I don’t have any stories like that.

Fist fuck : Do you have any kinks/turn ons/turn offs? >> Yes.

Everything : Do you feel free? >> I guess. I never really thought about it, but generally, yes, I am free.

The New Flesh : Favourite horror film? >> I don’t know. I am very fond of the Hellraiser franchise in general, but not necessarily because of the quality of the films, if that makes sense... Oh, there’s also Event Horizon, that’s a horror movie and an overall favourite of mine.

#surveys #survey #themed survey

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thetygre · 6 years ago

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30 Day Monster Challenge 2 - Day #9: Favorite Zombie

1. The Tarman (Return of the Living Dead II)

Tarman is just one of my favorite undead ever. When I look at Tarman, I see all the potential a zombie can have realized. He oozes, he drips, he rots, he’s a living personification of death. There are no mysteries about how the Tarman died, and he incorporates that death into his design. His every movement is jerky, but forceful, giving you the sense that Tarman could punch through a wall if he was hungry enough. The death’s-head face pierces into your soul without malice, but only a crazed and insatiable hunger. But it’s more than just his design; there are hints of a personality in Tarman’s wild eyes, the inklings of instinct. Tarman speaks, and his intellectual musings cut to the philosophical heart of the zombie condition by reaching out and expressing his utmost desire; “MORE BRAINS!”.

2. Deadites (Evil Dead 2)

So this challenge is kind of different; I’ve split the list between my favorite individual zombies and my favorite ways zombies are handled. And my favorite overall zombie species, so to speak, are the deadites from Evil Dead. The deadites don’t even need to start as zombies; they’re demons possessing people, creatures, and objects. But corpses do seem to be their favorite hosts, and even the living they possess sustain enough wounds to be lethal. It doesn’t really matter to the deadites; as spirits, the line between living and dead is irrelevant to them. What’s even better is that their hosts start to mutate, growing faces, limbs, and deformities. The deadites make me think of Legion from the Bible, the old man full of demons scavenging around graveyards. Not to go around picking favorites, but my favorite deadite design is still Henrietta Knowby from Evil Dead 2; she’s the most deformed you ever see any deadite get in the core movies, and she becomes utterly inhuman.

3. Lewis Legend (Lollipop Chainsaw)

My favorite of the Dark Purveyors from Lollipop Chainsaw. It was tough call between Lewis and Sid, but Lewis has a guitar that is also a machine gun named ‘Nosferatu’. Just take that in for a moment. Think about how much it rocks. Lewis represents the entire genre of Rock N’ Roll all the way from the beginning, including Johnny Cochran and Chuck Berry. His music is some of the best in the game, blending modern Metal with classic Rock. While he might get the least amount of screentime of the bosses, he makes up for it with an intense and spectacular boss fight. Lewis Legend doesn’t add anything to the zombie mythos or say anything deeper about zombies as an allegory; I just think he’s cool.

4. Umbrella Zombies (Resident Evil)

There’s a part of me that wants to say I like Resident Evil zombies because they can transform into some of the cooler RE monsters, but I really just like them straight-up in the first game. The Resident Evil zombies feel like the perfect zombies as antagonists. The mixture of their damage resistance and aggressiveness helped form the survival horror genre as a whole. Even to experienced soldiers, a single zombie can be threatening, and can easily become overwhelming or costly. That, to me, is the best embodiment of a zombie and, as weird as it might sound, how I threatening I think they would be in the real world.

5. Solomon Grundy (DC)

Grundy is a tragic character as a zombie. Frankly speaking, he works better as a reiteration of Karloff’s Frankenstein, but the line between Frankenstein’s monster and zombies has always been kind of blurry. There’s just something folkloric about Solomon Grundy to me; maybe it’s how his name is a rhyme, but I guess associate his quest for personhood with something like a golem or an ogre. Grundy’s a call-back to the old days of comics, the pre-Code time where horror and the undead ran rampant. That mark never really left, even during the Silver Age, and Grundy is a representation of that era. But most of all, I think about the Justice League cartoon, and Grundy’s character there. How he turned around, tried to fight for good, and died, and in doing so found his purpose. And then when he came back again, how heart-wrenching it was to watch Hawkgirl put him down like Old Yeller. That’s the kind of thing that should be done with zombies more often; having to face people at different times in a person’s life, and facing how they’ve both changed.

6. Ragers (28 Days Later)

28 Day Later fundamentally altered what we expect from zombies. The ragers look the least undead out of all the zombies on this list, and pedants will even point out that they aren’t real zombies. What they are, though, is legitimately terrifying. Ragers’ defining feature is that they are fast, and that makes all the difference. The scene during the first movie in the tunnel still knots my stomach up; the shadows on the walls always gave me the feeling that there was some kind of thought to the ragers’ actions there for some reason. Ragers really can’t survive; they’re a plague that dies out after enough time. But that just makes me think that they’re some kind of fever for the planet; a burst of destruction to cleanse the world before cooling back down.

7. Church (Pet Sematary)

Zombie kitty! Though maybe not so cuddly as that should be. In fact, kind of horrible and vicious. Church (short for Churchill) is the first creature to get resurrected in Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. When Church gets run over by a truck, his owner’s father Lewis takes him to a forbidden Native burial ground to bring him back in secret. And Church comes back PISSED. That’s why I like Church as a zombie; he actively hates being alive, and he blames Lewis for it. He knows he’s unnatural, that he shouldn’t be moving, so he does everything a cat can do to make his owner suffer. Sometimes, dead is better.

8. The Witch (Left 4 Dead 2)

Left 4 Dead isn’t the only series with ‘special’ zombies, but it is the only one with the witch. The witch was a female zombie identifiable by her loud, moaning screams. As long as a team was stealthy, they could avoid her; but once she woke up, she was unstoppable. Witches were the bane of many co-op session back when I was in high school. But what I love is the implication of the name; this is a zombie that has evolved past zombie-hood. It has become so powerful that now it’s beginning to become a completely different monster. After the zombie apocalypse, how will society cope with living in a world where monsters are real again? How do we go back to living with goblins, ogres, and witches lurking in the night? It’s a question that I’d love to see explored more.

9. Emily (Corpse Bride)

Emily is another tragic zombie. Admittedly, she works better as a ghost than a zombie, and she’s not even really undead, but she does briefly return to the world of the living. As you might expect from a Tim Burton creation, Emily is purely gothic, embodying romance, loneliness, and the sins of the past. Aesthetically, I do have to say that I like the blue coloring, and the link between a bridal veil and a funeral veil is always a funny connection to explore. I think I like Emily because she’s representative about how zombies can still explore old themes. And my thing for Helena Bonham Carter.

10. The Sleeper (Edgar Allan Poe)

Okay, confession time. When I was a kid, I got a book of Edgar Allan Poe poetry for kids filled with creepy-ass illustrations, and the illustration for Poe’s The Sleeper was of a corpse slowly coming out of its tomb and pining at the window. And of course that’s not what the poem is actually about; it’s another Poe poem about the narrator dead love lying in her grave. But the IDEA stuck with me, and I kind of wrapped up all my conceptions about Gothic zombies into that image. Zombies do have a presence in gothic horror; they’re not called ‘zombies’, they’re just walking corpses, but that makes them all the more horrible. These days, we’re so used to zombies as a monster archetype we’ve grown kind of numb to the horror of seeing a loved one rising up from the grave and move around in unnatural agony. Every now and then, I feel, we need to go back to the classics to remind ourselves about how horrible a commonplace trope really is.

#30 Day Monster Challenge 2 #30 Day Monster Challenge #zombie #zombies #horror #undead #evil dead #resident evil

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the-stray-liger · 7 years ago

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1 to 101~ :v

First of all, fuck you

Second of all since nobody else seems to be interested in sending me actual asks, I’m not even gonna put this under a readmore and I’m blaming you personally

5.What was your first Hawke like (gender/class/temperament)?

My first Hawke was my Mia, a two handed warrior with a shit temper but very good intentions. She was red/purple with everyone except friends and family.

6. First Inquisitor (gender/class/race/personality)?

It was a female mage dalish elf, with a very sweet, positive personality, and hern name was Sol. It was a very shitty thing to find out that the Lavellan/Solas ship gets called Solavellan because I literally fucking named my first fucking character Sol Lavellan.

9. Do you tend to play male or female characters most?

Female. I’m agender but afab and I present as a woman so I guess that’s me being a fucking coward

10. Share a pic of your favorite OC from any DA game.

I have no ingame pics of Mia but I have a ton of art of her. I draw her half naked a lot

11. Best Hawke quote?

I don’t remember the exact quote, but when you lose Leandra and go to Aveline and start The Captain’s Condolences, I accidentally picked an option that said something along the lines of “I’m smiling isn’t that enough?” when Aveline asks you if you’re ok. Of course bc it cuts off the whole conversation I reloaded, but I found it to be really representative of how Hawke deals with their own grief and feelings in general.

12. Do you prefer DA:O, DA2, or DA:I most?

Dragon Age II, hands down.

13. Favorite mission from DA:O?

Shit fam that’s a really hard question because all the main quests are amazing. I’d tentatively say The Nature of the Beast, despite of how much it irks me that the “good” ending forces me to do something I would not be able to do otherwise. I loved the forest, I loved the sad story, I loved the Lady of the Forest and I even loved the werewolves. Funny thing? in my first playthrough I got stuck in that part because I ignored everything and went straight to the woods after stopping in Lothering, so I was of course SUPER underlevelled.

14. Favorite DA:O party combo?

Alistair, Zevran and Wynne.

15. Favorite DA:O companion overall?

Zevran or Wynne!

16. DA:O: Did your Warden survive?

Nope, my canon Warden died killing the Archdemon. I even did a whole new playthrough and it was perfect and she survived and all but I stuck with the dead Warden story.

17. What did you name your Mabari?

My canon doggos didn’t have creative names. Nyneve (my Warden) named hers Pat, because Pat the Dog is a great pun. Mia named hers Sam, because Carver couldn’t say long names, but she calls him he Grand Dong Lord Sam Big Anal Fistula Hawke, the Fart Master

18. Who did you choose to rule Fereldan?

I always stick with Anora as ruler of Ferelden.

19. Favorite mission from DA2?

All of Anders and Fenris’ personal quests. I legitimately can’t pick just one. They’re super emotionally charged and intense and a lot of the time they hit super close to home.

20. Was everyone loyal at the end?

Yes. I don’t know how I managed but at the end of my playthrough I had romanced Anders and had full friendship from Anders, Fenris and Varric and a respectable ammount of friendship with Aveline.

21. Did Hawke side with the Mages or Templars?

Mages.

22. Favorite DA2 party combo?

Anders, Fenris and Varric, because I hate myself, or Isabela, Aveline and Merrill when I feel like having a girl day.

23. Did you give Fenris back to Danarius?

No, if it had been up to me I’d have pickled Danarius’ head and sent it to whoever’s in charge up there in Tevinter.

24. Favorite main-story quest from DA:I?

Another tough one but I’m gonna go for the easy answer and say In Hushed Whispers. The thought of all your friends who are literally dying but are still willing to help you because there might be a sliver of hope that things will work out in the end, and Leliana praying as she shoots arrow after arrow walking towards her death gives me the chills every fucking time.

25. Favorite DA:I place?

Emprise du Lion!!

26. Did your Inquisitor choose the Mages or the Templars?

Mages.

27. Which did you leave behind (Abyss)?

I never import my games to the Keep so I don’t have to chose between a character I care for and Stroud, so I always leave Stroud behind.

28. Inquisitor’s feelings on being the Herald of Andraste?

My canon quizzy is a Lavellan so honestly? He hates it but loves throwing it around to make andrastian human nobles suffer.

29. What are your feelings on the Chantry?

I hate it and hope it dies, slowly and painfully.

30. What are your feelings on the Circle?

They should all fucking burn and disappear forever.

31. DLC for the first 2 games: All of it, some of it, or none of it?

I have only played Awakening!

32. Favorite DLC mission overall?

Getting Sigrun!

33. Favorite DA character overall?

Fenris.

34. Least favorite character?

Solas, he can suck my left nut

35. Who do you want to see return in the next game?

Dorian!!!!

36. What kind of DLC do you hope for for DA:I?

One where you can dropkick Solas from a mountain into the sea

37. Bloodmagic: yes or no?

Yeah bitch

38. Funniest moment in the games?

When Elthinia dies

39. Creepiest moment in the games?

Bartrand’s fucking haunted house in DA2-for some reason, maybe the pacing, that one really grated my nerves. Also the thing in Inquisition with the Crestwood village. It was very somber.

40. Who did you romance in your first playthrough for each game?

Alistair, Anders and Cullen. I got a thing for crusty boys I guess

41. Who do you wish you could romance that you can’t?

Varric and Krem!!!

42. Favorite romance overall so far?

The Iron Bull. It’s a no bullshit, 0 stress romance. I love Anders’ romance because it’s a super emotional catharsis and it’s passionate from beginning to end, but I love The Iron Bull and the way the relationship turns into romance slowly from a purely sexual based one, because sex isn’t -believe it or not-the most important thing in a relationship or symbollic of romance.

43. One romance you just can’t stand/doesn’t make sense/etc?

Solas.

44. Which 3 DA characters would you want as your best friends?

Fenris, Dorian and Zevran but I know for a fact that if they met me they’d kill me on the spot.

45. A character you’d love to drop in a volcano and forget about?

Solas.

46. Best antagonist in the series?

Bioware can’t write antagonists because they can’t handle nuanced characters, but I’d say Meredith. Her final fight is incredible and she’s a terrifying character with an aura of inmense charisma and coldness.

47. Worst antagonist in the series?

Loghain. They tried too hard to give people reasons to like him but he never cared for anything besides his own outdated ideals. He sold elves from the Alienage to Tevinter. Bitch how do you even manage to like someone like that

48. Something you do in EVERY DA playthrough, no matter what?

Recruiting all the companions, siding with elves and mages, promise myself I’m not gonna romance anyone and doing it anyway

49. Describe your perfect playthrough for any DA game.

Zevran romanced, mages and elves saved, dwarves can go to shit, Anora’s queen, Loghain is dead.

Anders romanced, mages saved, Elthinia’s dead, all my companions are on my side, the rest can go to shit I don’t care.

Mages and elves get all the support this joke of a game offers, Cullen doesn’t take lyrium, I put a mage in the Sunburst Throne to piss off the Chantry and keep the Inquisition pretending to collaborate with her while actually doing what I want with her blessing

50. Favorite Warden/Hawke/Inquisitor headcanons (any or all)?

THERE ARE TOO MANY how do I answer this fucking question???

52. Favorite non-Player Character headcanons?

Aro-ace Varric!!!54. Fluffiest headcanon ever?

Anything related to the mabari

55. Your non-Player Character OTPs?

Does Sera/Dagna count? I also love anything with Krem QoQ

57. Who would you date if you could (as you, not your OC)?

It doesn’t matter bc none of them would date me but Iron Bull would be my dream man.

58. Who has the best character arc overall?

Anders.

59. Who was written really poorly?

*GESTURES HELPLESSLY AT THE WHOLE FUCKING FRANCHISE BUT SERA AND VIVIENNE IN PARTICULAR????*

60. Who do you wish had been given more story?

Isabela.

61. Favorite NPC?

Sandal!!

62. A character you think deserves more fan love?

SANDAL

63. Best story moment?

When Elthinia dies in the Chantry bbq

64. Favorite achievement?

Belle of the Ball or Beloved and Precious.

65. Any epic game play moments in any DA game?

So many? so many

66. Something you hate about any/all of the games?

The fact that none of these people know how to write grey morality or do representation without demonizing or agressing the oppressed demographics because apparently if you’re oppressed all you can do is suffer

67. Best non-OC quote?

Fenris talking about how Danarius and Hadriana destroyed him emotionally and abused him and how he hates that they were able to turn him into an angry, violent person filled with grudges.

68. Have you cosplayed any DA characters?

Do I look like I am willing to do the bare minimum effort for any reason at all

69. Who would you cosplay if you could (no holds barred)?

Fenris.

70. Did you read the comics?

Nope.

71. Did you read the novels?

Nope.

72. Did you see Dawn of the Seeker?

Yep.

72. Favorite OST song(s)?

Fenris’ theme and Sera was Never.

73. Do you take screenshots in any DA games?

SO MANY I’m bad with computers so I can’t take DA2 screenshots but I do it a lot in the other games

74. Do you edit images/gifs or make videos about DA?

Again do I seem like I can do anything right

75. Have you ever made a DA Let’s Play?

76. What moment/memory still gives you chills/feels?

There are so many??? For starters literally everything concerning Anders brings up a strong emotional response for me. But from the top of my head Ill say the look Fenris has in his eyes when Danarius shows up. The fear in his eyes and the desperation and. Everything about that scene makes me antsy man.

77. What are you hoping for from DA4?

If I say “that it never happens” will you hit me

79. Favorite fanmix?

I don’t have any!! feel free to reccomend some!

80. Favorite fanfic?

Legorandia and LukaTisus’ Relight my Life, and GhostGarrison’s I’m In Love With A Stripper.

81. Favorite fanart/fanartist?

@xfreischutz and @awaari are the first that come to mind but this fandom is thriving with hardworking, skilled artists with impeccable aesthetics.

82. Favorite fan musician/music?

I dont have a favourite musician but I am in love with @totalspiffage‘s dalish lullaby, I’m still not over it.

83. Favorite cosplay(er)?

I can’t think of any who have done Dragon Age cosplays recently, but EnaylaCosplay’s Cullen is a big fave of mine!

84. Favorite Let’s Play?

Never seen one.

85. Favorite DA-themed blog?

@storybookhawke

86. Do you create anything in the fandom (write, draw, craft, gif, etc)?

Sometimes I do art. Mostly I jsut complain

87. Do you participate in or run a DA RP?

No.

88. Are you on any DA forums, chats, reddit subs, etc?

Nope.

89. Do you run an DA-themed blog/page/website?

No.

90. Do you have any friends who love DA too?

Only on the internet.

91. Did you get someone into DA?

I guess.

92. Do you own any DA merchandise?

Yes! I have a Grey Wardens shirt, a lovely Fenris charm by @xfreischutz, a nug plushie and a gorgeous Justice pin.

93. Have you ever made any DA-themed crafts (clothes, toys, etc)?

Do I have to remind you that I’m a good for nothing

94. Which actors would you cast for a movie of your fav DA game?

I have no idea that’s??? a re ally fucking huge question and IDK if I can answer it without doing many hours of thinking and research QuQ

95. Do you use game mods?

No.

96. What’s your favorite DA mod?

The one where you save Orsino. There should be one where the Final Fantasy victory theme plays when Anders blows up the Chantry too

97. If you could be any non-Human DA species, which and why?

Qunari. Tall? Hot? Horns? Sign me the fuck up

98. Where would you live (Fereldan, Orlais, Free Marches etc?)

Thedas is a fucking dumpster fire politically but Ferelden is good enough I guess.

99. Circle, Templar, Chantry, Guard, Seeker, Inquisition, or none?

None, fuck the system.

#long post #rexo3o #this is also the saltiest Ive been in a while #tried to control it but #im an asshole so yeah #messed up the numbering at some point #anyway

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moodboardinthecloud · 3 years ago

Text

Esther Perel Is Fighting the “Tyranny of Positivity”

The famed relationship therapist talked to GQ about relearning social skills, pandemic breakups, and why “how was your pandemic?” is a lame question.

BY CLAY SKIPPER

July 19, 2021

https://www.gq.com/story/esther-perel-interview

Within the first 60 seconds of our conversation, the psychotherapist Esther Perel introduces me to a concept she calls “enforced presentism.” It’s a feeling you might know well from the pandemic. “You can't think two days ahead,” says Perel. “Everything is in the moment, and you're dealing with this chronic unpredictability and stress.”

You might expect Perel to be better equipped than most to deal with such turbulence, given her experience in navigating romance and relationships, surely one of the most troubled and anxiety-inducing human experiences. Over the last four decades, she’s become one of the world’s most renowned relationship therapists, writing two bestselling books about couples, desire and sexuality, Mating in Captivity, and The State of Affairs, and hosting two podcasts, Where Should We Begin? And How’s Work? (Both invite listeners into sessions she conducts between people who are romantically or professionally connected.)

But Perel says her pandemic got off to a difficult start. First, she was scared. Then, she had to come to terms with the fact that, according to the covid classifications, no matter how she thought of herself, she was technically elderly. In the next phase, she coordinated a yoga group with friends on three continents. She started going on hikes and walks. She recorded seasons of both of her podcasts.

“Then, one day I woke up and I said, I want to create a game,” she remembers. “I want to create a happy project. I can’t deal with the loss, the sadness, the grief, the uncertainty—those existential aspects. I also want to deal with the part of us that keeps us connected to playfulness, to curiosity, to the unknown.”

That turned into a card game (also) called, “Where Should We Begin? A Game of Stories”. Filled with thought-provoking prompts—think “I’ve always wondered if it’s normal to…” and “The last promise I broke was…”—it’s meant to facilitate connection by getting people to tell stories that they might otherwise hide behind conversations about the humidity. More importantly, it’s as an antidote to the fog of enforced presentism, and a buffer against the atrophied social skills we might all carry into the world as it lifts.

Here, she talks about entering back into the world, the proliferation of the term “trauma,” fixing our work-as-identity problems, and why we need to retire the idea of the soulmate.

GQ: Based on what you’ve seen in your work—and just anecdotally or personally—what are the things, relationships-wise, that people have most been struggling with in the last 18 months? What do you think will continue to be issues as we re-emerge into a sense of normalcy?

Esther Perel: Big crises always operate as relationship accelerators. Especially a pandemic and a disaster says, "Life is short. Life is fragile. Things could end any moment." People articulate the awareness of mortality—we usually try to not be too aware of it. So you instantly begin to sharpen your priorities and you start to disregard the superfluous and the unimportant and the misguided.

You begin to say, "What am I waiting for? Let's move in together. Let's have the babies we've been wanting to have. Let's get married. Let's move.” Or: "I've waited long enough. I'm out of here. This is no longer sustainable to me." It goes in those two directions. It's what I want and what I no longer want.

So at this moment, most of my colleagues, we are talking about the avalanche of disruptions that have taken place in relationships, and the consequences thereof. I would say there's been a lot of different kinds of disruptions. Collapse of boundaries: people have never worked as hard, and they have had to turn their house into a gym, a restaurant, an office, a school, all of it, while sitting on the same chair. That's been a real challenge for people.

Why is it so hard for us to hold all of our identities at one time in one space?

In the same way we need reality and imagination, and we need groundedness and we need adventure, we need structure and spontaneity. Our rules structure us, and those rules are structured in time and in space. You came to work this morning, you dressed up a certain way that made sense for you, that is different than if you go to the gym, that is different than if you go to a club. The clothes go with the place where you go, with the building that you enter, with the way that you behave. A rule is a complex set of things that organizes you. That gives you a sense of how to behave, what to do, how to think, how to relate to people. When you don't have any of that—you are a partner, a parent, a lover, a friend, a son, an employee, a manager—and it's all happening at the same table in the same sweatpants, it becomes like a fog. You start to experience a type of lethargy. You start to lose the pleasure of what you do.

It strikes me that this could be a moment where we might begin to realize all the identities we’re performing, and maybe actually become more conscious or aware of these roles in a healthy way.

Yes. First of all, a lot of people slowed down enough that they could pay attention. People became more observant of the rhythms of their lives—of the trees around them for that matter. We slowed down for the first time in a long time. Since the early 1900s, all we have done is gone fast.

Except when you sit in your mindfulness moments. These mindfulness and meditation incursions into Western culture are all in response to the degree of acceleration that our culture has experienced.

What do you think of the American imperative to be happy?

Happiness used to belong in the afterlife. In Heaven. People suffered when on earth, especially good Christians, so that they could maybe be rewarded later. This is the first time in history that you ask Western parents what they want for their children, and the first thing they say is, "I want them to be happy." They don't say, "I want them to be healthy, alive," because child mortality has gone down. They don't say, "I want them to be good people." They're supposed to talk about, "I want them to be happy."

The tyranny of positivity is a burden. Happiness is an outcome, not a mandate, because the mandate of happiness makes you constantly have to wonder, "Am I happy? Am I happy enough? Could I be happier? Should I leave this relationship? I'm happy, but maybe I could be happier somewhere else." So it becomes, how do I know? And then it becomes massive uncertainty, massive self-doubt.

Happiness comes in a moment, where I finish an interview with you, or you with me, and maybe we say, "That was really good. I'm happy. I'm glad. I'm pleased." And then off we go. it's a moment. It's not, "I am happy in my life. I'm a happy person." I'm a person with a range of emotions.

The depression and anxiety of today is the mirror response to the pressure on happiness. You can't be sad. You can't be blue, melancholic. Then you get the permission to be sad if you're depressed. So let's pathologize it. And if depression isn't enough, let's say you’ve had trauma.

Trauma is the licensed language to talk about pain and suffering at this moment. That doesn't mean there is no trauma, but it means that if we say the word trauma, it gives me permission to say, "I have pain and I have suffered, and it was hard, and I have legacies from it."

I think it's good that we're recognizing trauma on a larger scale, but I’m curious at what point it’s almost rendered meaningless.

In a society that mandates happiness, the suffering doesn't disappear, but you need to find a new legitimacy. So if you put it in the framework of trauma, it becomes legitimized.

So because we're so obsessed with happiness, we can't just say, "I'm sad,” we need to have some reason to feel sad?

That’s right. A framework that gives it permission and legitimacy. That’s the framework of trauma. That doesn't mean there are no developmental traumas—let's be very clear. Trauma is not what happened, trauma is your reaction to something that has happened over time. We've expanded the word trauma from big, terror-inducing, helplessness-inducing events, to what we call today the traumas with small t’s, which are the developmental traumas. These are super, super important. But in society, there is a direct correlation between the pressure to be happy and the release valve that comes through the trauma. I'm allowed to say that I'm not happy, because I had trauma.

So what is the goal behind the card game? What's the ultimate desire for you?

The game is a game of stories. I have a podcast that tells stories about our lives. Our relationship stories are the way we make meaning of our life. Stories are the way we connect with people. Stories are the way we tell ourselves. I ask questions in my practice where people are invited to rewrite their stories so that they don't stay stuck there, because the story is connected to your core beliefs. So the game is a game of stories and it incentivizes people to tell stories that they rarely tell.

At this point, just because of the timing, it's become a game for connecting and reconnecting. It's a game where people can really overcome their social atrophy and the social anxiety that some of us are experiencing. It gives you a sense of how you reenter, how you have those small conversations that then become deep conversations sometimes.

What are some of the things people should look out for with regards to social atrophy?

“So how was the pandemic?” This is a question that I've heard quite a bit. [laughs] As if you just came back from some trip! And even when you come back from a trip, most of the time people are not interested in you talking more than one sentence. They don't really want to know, "First we went here and then we did that. And you won't believe this and then..." People know that they've gone through something big. They don't really know what they can ask. They don't know how much others really want to know. That’s a big one.

You’ve offered interesting perspectives on a lot of the Western myths we have. What do you think are some of the American myths that undergird our society that were most exposed by the pandemic and by COVID?

Self-reliance, effort, optimism, "Roll up your sleeve, get to work. There is nothing you cannot solve, if you put your mind to it." This “it's all on you, try harder mentality.” A pandemic will definitely highlight the notion of interdependence. Public health is a conception of interdependence. You do something not just for you—you do something because it protects others. That notion of interdependence has taken a beating over the last [several years]. It's all self-help, self-love, self-compassion. Self is in front of a lot of things, and that ultimately ends up creating a self focus. That doesn't mean self is not important. But it also comes to self and other. It's I and thou. We don't exist separately from our connections with others.

What else?

The soulmate myth. The soulmate has always historically been God. One and only meant the divine. When you start to turn a human being into God-like, and you collapse the social and the spiritual, you set yourself up a little bit. Relationships are sustained by the community that they live in. Not being alone doesn't mean being two. And people here do not have enough social support, no matter which way you turn. They don’t have enough confidants, or people they talk to. Lots of things they bring to therapists should be shared in community settings. Couples don't tell the truth to anybody. Your best friends, when they may divorce, you didn't even see it coming.

The next myth, at this moment, is the centrality of work. On the one hand, work is very liberating. You come to America and if you work hard, you can make it. At the same time, when people lose their jobs, especially men, they're willing to jump off the roof. There needs to be other sources of meaning and other sources of values that isn't just about success and money and all of those things. All the research asking people what they would have wanted to do differently, not a single one says, "I would have wanted to work hard."

So with these myths in mind, what would you advise people to do, coming out of the pandemic, to try to counteract them?

There's no greater antidepressant than doing for others. Instead of just thinking about self-care, take care of others. When you do for others, when you see other people's pain, experiences, hunger, you name it, you feel like you matter. You derive meaning when you are important to others. Your meaning doesn't just come from what you do for yourself.

In terms of the soulmate, one person cannot give you what an entire community should provide. That is bound to create a crumbling of too many expectations on one unit. So do not give up your friends. A wedding is not saying goodbye to your circle or to these relationships. They're super important, and especially the men. The men, particularly guys in straight relationships, lose massive amounts of social connections once they get married. But this is for people in all types of relationships. One person cannot give you what a whole village should provide.

Then for work, work as identity is where it's going. Love and work are replacing traditional communal structures and religion. But think about other sources of purpose and meaning, and put them in place. What else matters in your life? If it's only work, when work doesn't go well, mental health problems are very close around the corner.

This interview has been edited and condensed.

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girlonfilmmovies · 4 years ago

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The Top 25 Films of 2019

25: Shadow (dir. Zhang Yimou)

"Without the real, there can be no shadow. A principle no one's understood."

After a string of terrible films trying to play to Hollywood audiences, Zhang Yimou manages to successfully return to the goldmine he stuck in the early 2000s and craft another absolutely gorgeous wuxia. Here he swaps out the poetic, colorful beauty in favor of monochromatic, surprisingly violent tone poem about deceit. It ultimately works against it, as by the seventh or eighth double cross you kind of just give up trying to figure out who's on what side, but the main action setpiece is so wonderful it deserves a spot for that alone. Hopefully a good sign for Yimou's future, as long as we don't have another nationalist war epic that somehow inexplicably also has a white savior narrative too.

24: Climax (dir. Gaspar Noé)

"...something's kicking in..."

Noe takes us for another plunge into the dark, twisted, vomit-inducing, neon-lit hellscape that is his mind and at least has the common courtesy to put the pleasant parts upfront this time. While it will eventually devolve into the same type of chaos that we all love/hate from him, the first act is kind of a wonderful departure from him. He basically accidently makes a musical for a while, with wonderful and deeply intricate dance choreography as well as a fantastic extended sequence where every character jumps in and out of frame and gets a chance to strut their stuff. That movie would have been a strong top five contender, but alas, the man has his particular quirks that he must abide by. But at least he also strung together probably the best soundtrack and sound design of the year, with the fantastic EDM bangers rumbling through the walls throughout the entirety of the film.

23: Long Shot (dir. Jonathon Levine)

"Oohhh boooy!"

Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen doing a political comedy that manages to be both smart and extremely funny seems like a long shot indeed, but Johnathon Levine finally strikes gold again after a number of disappointing duds. He manages to make a pretty good story about how navigating the political minefield destroys what little hope and dreams high level politicians still manage to have, but then he also happens to make it all absolutely hilarious too. Theron demonstrates a surprisingly strong comic game too, easily matching all the other talent and cracking jokes along with them. It ends up being a charming romance where the woman takes charge in a very pleasant change of pace. And if nothing else, the way Seth Rogen yells "oh boy" in that video is always going to make me laugh no matter what.

22: 6 Underground (dir. Michael Bay)

"Ghosts have one power above all others: to haunt the living. Haunt them... for what they've done."

Theoretical question: what say Netflix gave Michael Bay a blank check and no restrictions, and he turned in the most overblown, dialed to eleven, nonsensical spectacle that he ever crafted and was allowed to put it into almost every American home for free? Now what if I told you that it was actually kind of awesome? Sure, it's basically a child playing with his $150 million dollar GI Joe set, smashing his toys together and making pew-pew sounds, but it's also probably the best testament to the power of conventional effects work over the increasing insistence on CGI for big setpieces. Let's face it: explosions are pretty cool, every one likes exotic locales and bright sports cars, and there's at least someone here to appeal to you (least surprisingly for me, it was Melanie Laurent with bangs wearing a suit). It almost reaches a late Michael Mann kind of abstraction, as both are respectively breaking apart the action movie into stranger combinations. Bay gives plot only because he contractually has to, and even then doesn't seem as committed to characterization as he is showcasing surprisingly brutal ways for the gang to dispatch their enemies. It's nonsense, but the damn best nonsense of the year.

21: Ip Man 4: The Finale (dir. Wilson Yip)

"Is that it?! Is this your Chinese Kung Fu?!"

The finale in the decade-long quadrilogy of supremely silly and borderline racist worship of China finally attempts to tackle America to delightfully amusing results. Scott Adkins doing his best evil R. Lee Ermey impression while slipping in modern neo-con punchlines, neverending Bruce Lee worship, and more nationalism and bad fake American accents than you could ever believe. Yet also a more bizarrely honest portrayal of racism in 1960s America than most movies would ever have the courage to acknowledge. It’s almost fascinating considering how a lot of the non-Asian racism basically serves as set dressing, but they still put more effort there than pretty much every Hollywood movie set in the 60s that isn’t directly about civil rights. But ultimately they're selling you a bill of goods saying "watch Ip Man beat the crap out of racist meatheads" and you better believe they're going to give you what you want.

20: Let It Snow (dir. Luke Snellin)

"Have you ever been with someone, and you stay up until like 4AM just talking about everything, and you're just like, I can't believe I get to exist at the same time as you?"

Okay, so let me explain myself on this one:

So yeah, it certainly is a generic teen romcom where everyone plays into basic teenage stereotypes, half the cast is clearly nowhere near eighteen, and all of the romance is oddly chaste. But there truly is something to be said about representation in a romcom, and after a thousand boring cis, straight, hetero couples falling in love for decades, this movie actually managed to hit a lot of notes that are at best rarely explored in the genre and also manages to probably sneak in some genuine firsts. While both the "tomboy/softboy" and "Latina struggling with her family" storylines have been done before, these are some nice, cute little iterations on those befitting a teen-friendly movie. But the Dorrie/Kerry story is not only legitimately groundbreaking, but also an absolutely perfect encapsulation of the types of problems that queer teenagers struggle with during that time of their lives. It's a queer romance, played by two actually not-straight people, with one of them being a nonbinary actor too. And it's not cordoned off into some bargain bin DIY indie that fell out the back of the truck on the way to an indie film festival; no, this is in a major holiday release, with well-known actors, and as one of the central storylines! Plus, it perfectly captures the woes of modern teen coming out, knowing that everything will probably still be cool, but the fear haunting you as all you can do is look jealously at someone who is out and proud. And it does it without being real shitty and horribly traumatic too. Eat your fucking heart out, Love, Simon!

19. John Wick: Chapter 3 -- Parabellum (dir. Chad Stahelski)

"Si vis pacem, para bellum!"

Another year, another John Wick movie. There's more plot; you don't care, and let's be honest, neither do I. Stahelski is here to serve up more badass characters and incredible action, and no one in Hollywood does it quite like him. It's got familiar action favorites demonstrating why they still remain supreme, with Yayan Ruhian, Cecep Arif Rahman, Tiger Chen, and the ever underrated Mark Dascascos. It's got surprising action showcases for Halle Berry, Lance Reddick, and somehow Boban Marjanović. It's got great character actors doing their thing, from the returning McShane and Fishburne to newcomers Saïd Taghmaoui and Anjelica Huston. It's got Asia Kate Dillon as an awesome nonbinary shadow organization asshole. It has a bewildering Jason Mantzoukas cameo. And above all else, it has Keanu Reeves, still demonstrating not only his incredible physical skill, but also how to perfectly utilize his particular acting style to create an iconic character.

18. Doctor Sleep (dir. Mike Flanagan)

"Man takes a drink. A drink takes the drink. And then the drink takes a man."

While not the most accurate adaption, it might be the only Stephen King adaptation that comes to mind that actually successfully channels what makes him such an appealing author. King's stories have an inherent corniness to them and for as much as you unsuccessfully try to cover that up (look to this year's The Outsider for a good example), it's where the true charm of his work shines. It's what makes this so fun, because as much as an epic, eldritch terror is exciting, it still doesn't have the goofy fun of a bunch of vampiric bohemian drifters led by a Stevie Knicks knockoff in a top hat breathing up souls. Plus, the epic three hour runtime actually allows Flanagan to at least try to cover all the more subtle serious characterizations of Danny Torrance, from his recurring alcoholism to him seeking closure with regards to his parents. It manages to actually make the final act's nostalgia play kind of work, or at the very least get the terrible memory of the Ready Player One version out of my head.

17. Her Smell (dir. Alex Ross Perry)

"I thought you were better than this, but deep down I knew you weren't."

Perry must have had some extra pent-up nastiness in him after having to restrain himself while writing Christopher Robin (by the way, that happened), because he really created one of the nastiest characters in cinema here. Her Smell is the equivalent of being locked in a room with the shittiest person you'll ever meet, as she constant lashes out at everyone and everything with the kind of delirium that the truly demented are cursed with. And credit to Elizabeth Moss where it's due: she really perfectly embodies such a horrible human being and proceeds beat you damn near to death with it during a majority of the runtime. Eventually it slows down and all of the problems become apparent once they script isn't flying by at a thousand words a minute. But Moss literally did her job so well that people fucking hate this movie because of her character, and if that isn't a testament to her acting talent than I don't know what is.

16. High Life (dir. Claire Denis)

"At 99% the speed of light, the entire sky converged before our eyes. This sensation, moving backwards even though we're moving forwards, getting further from what's getting nearer. Sometimes I just can't stand it."

Denis finally makes her English debut with what she does best: nauseatingly uncomfortable sexuality oozing from terrible people doing horrible things. In this case, she takes an innovative detour into sci-fi, setting up a decades-long story of human experimentation, murder, the horrors of space travel, and whatever unholy things are going on inside of the "Fuck Box". It has an appropriately dingy production design too; the clean retro-futurist spaceship design soon dissolves into a torn apart den of depravity, caked in a mixture of filth and dry blood. Pattinson once again manages to be likeable while also being extremely standoff-ish; only playing with his baby daughter do we seem to see him actually enjoy interacting with a human being. Kind of gets lost in the sauce near the end, but at least manages to land some surprising emotional notes considering the kind of horrors that they've shown up until then.

15. The Farewell (dir. Lulu Wang)

"Chinese people have saying: when people get cancer they die. It's not cancer that kills them, it's the fear."

Lulu Wang's followup to Posthumous is such a massive step up in talent it's not even funny. She manages to make such a wonderfully soulful and loving movie about impending death by utilizing near perfect comic timing to defuse a situation that threatens to stray too dark. Not to mention her point of view on modern China from a non state-sponsored eye actually captures a much more accurate shot of the country itself. It's almost as if an Edward Yang movie had set itself more modest expectations -- it's pleasant, goes down well, teaches you a couple of things about Chinese culture, and manages to do it all in only a hundred minutes. And Awkwafina manages to hold her own against far more experienced actors, even if you can tell her Mandarin is still a little spotty.

14. Uncut Gems (dir. Josh and Benny Safdie)

"I think you are the most annoying person I have ever met. I hate being with you, I hate looking at you... And if I had my way I would never see you again."

Adam Sandler's magnum opus performance -- there will never be another character that fully embraces every grating aspect of his style of acting and manages to weaponize them for two anxiety-inducing hours of hell. Sandler's Howard Ratner is an absolute sewer rat scumbag, an untrustworthy coward, and a perennial fuck-up of epic proportions. But he's still so charismatic and powerful on screen that you root for him every time he drives you further up the wall. And the Safdie brothers know how to keep him moving too, never letting the audience catch a breath of air for this movie-length panic attack as the odds stack further against Howard each minute. Whenever you see Sandler phoning in his comedies for fat checks, just remember this performance and how pretty much every awards committee completely ignored this film. No wonder he doesn't bother trying anymore.

13. The Last Black Man In San Francisco (dir. Joe Talbot)

"You don't get to hate it unless you love it."

A wonderfully evocative love letter to a changing city that is so full of life in every way, from the vibrant movement of the camerawork to the bombastic and powerful soundtrack blasting throughout. But it actually plays more like a New Orleans' funeral march, a melancholic chronicle of the original denizens of San Francisco even as the city warps into the caricature that it's slowly becoming. There is a definite feeling that the aggressive gentrification is unavoidable and even the love of the original quirky denizens can only stave off the metaphorical steamroller that paves over the past. It makes for a wonderful counterpoint to the previous year's Blindspotting: both about young black men dealing with gentrification in the Bay Area, but Blindspotting starts as a very angry comic satire that eventually ends on a note of hope and a will to survive the changing tide, whereas this begins as a joyous celebration of the city and ends on a heartbreaking resignation in the face of everything. Both come from respectively very different sides of San Fran culture, but it's rather interesting seeing each have such different approaches to the same topic.

12. The Standoff at Sparrow Creek (dir. Henry Dunham)

"How do we know it's not you?"

A simple "pressure cooker" scenario done to perfection: one empty warehouse, a bunch of hardened standoff-ish militia men, a missing gun, a ticking clock, and a whole lot of suspicious side eyes and probing questions. It helps that the gruff suspects are a perfect who's who of roughened character actors, all previously well-versed in playing suspicious people, and all of them hiding the kind of unspoken rage that makes a man secretly join an armed militia. All of this told with a nerve-wracking minimalism and style as weirdly detached from reality as some of these men are. One hell of a debut for Henry Dunham and hopefully a sign of good things to come.

11. Booksmart (dir. Olivia Wilde)

"How about we play a *rousing* round of J'ACCUSE!"

Profoundly silly and yet also so disarmingly sweet, Olivia Wilde whips a wildly stylized portrait of Gen Z high-schoolers and the many ways that they vastly differ from their older peers. Certainly much more welcoming and accepting of the diversity of teenagers than pretty much any other teen movies from the past, although they still poke fun at some particular brands of modern "wokeness" too. Stuffed to the brim with wonderfully weird characters, between the lovable catty theatre duo of George and Alan, the cringe-inducing desperate rich kid Jared, the endearingly dumb thirstball Theo, the dorky and blissfully unaware queer-bait Ryan, the effortlessly cool and extremely "top energy" Hope, and the absolutely batshit wildness that is Gigi. But mainly it serves as a vehicle for Devers and Feldstein, with both bouncing perfectly back and forth off each other in moments of comedy and drama. Feldstein always pulls off huge laughs pretty much every line and Devers sells a perfect amount of baby-gay awkwardness in one of the sweetest (and heartbreaking) queer romance stories in film. But above all else, it's just so damn fun and aware of what teenagers are actually like than most movies ever have been.

10. Luce (dir. Julius Onah)

*chuckles* "You really think I believe that stuff?"

One of the most wildly uncomfortable experiences in recent cinema history, but not due to any horrifyingly explicit graphic content being shoved in our faces. No, Onah and Lee created something much more discomforting: a constant challenging of all our biases and stereotypes, of us wanting to give chances and have faith in those that we trust. Kelvin Harrison Jr. delivers one of the best acting performances in recent memory because he's able to literally do everything; his Luce somehow manages to perfectly walk the tightrope required for a performance like his. With him behind it, Luce is such a charming, loving, likeable character but there's always just something that seems off about him. And even if Spencer's Wilson has a fixation on him that crosses all sorts of legal and moral boundaries, wouldn't we be cheering her on under different circumstances? In a way, she herself is trying to communicate a lesson about perception too, one that also mires in deep, troubling waters. Even if the film still feels very stage-y due to it's source material, the cold clinical aesthetic only further helps it make us squirm in our seats.

9. Violet Evergarden: Eternity and the Auto Memory Doll (dir. Haruka Fujita)

"Nobody wants a letter that cannot be delivered."

An absolutely magical experience that artistically excels over the original TV series it's based off of. The production is still as impressive as any other KyoAni work, but the composition and lighting in particular are outstanding, selling the social isolation of the first half and the childlike wonder of the second half. Beginning with a sublime Victorian romance in the first half, the story eventually morphs into a tribute to the workers of the world, the cogs in the machine. But in the context of the studio's recent history and the horrific arson attack that claimed 36 members of the studio, this instead comes off as a battlecry against the opposition against them. It's a story valuing those who are overlooked in the process of creation, a story about strong determined women, a story of a young girl defining her own future against society. KyoAni as a studio were most known for treating all their employees exceptionally as well as being a primarily female-led studio, both unfortunate exceptions in the industry as well as the target for a lot of unfair online hatred against them (and surely played some sort of role in why the arson attack happened to them specifically). To see the studio make their first post-attack work so proudly emblematic of what made them unique makes this so much more powerful than you would expect.

8. The Nightengale (dir. Jennifer Kent)

"You know what it's like to have a white fella take everything that you have, don't ya?"

The classic revenge fantasy narrative warped into a bleak, cynical portrait of racist cruelty in 1800s Tasmania. Jennifer Kent, improving leaps and bounds from the relatively straightforward Babadook, crafts a searing indictment of the foundations of colonialism and the misogynistic undercurrent of the barbarous society. It's a revenge movie where the vengeance is horrible and unsatisfying -- there's no crowd pleasing murderous money-shots, just brief moments of comeuppance in the face of everything in the world working against our two protagonists. Those who are squeamish should be aware that it is exceptionally graphic and grueling at times, although Kent does manage to keep up a very good pace for the two and a half hours of hell.

7. Transit (dir. Christian Petzold)

"They say that those who were left never forget. But it's not true. They have the sweet, sad songs. Pity is with them. Those who leave, no one is with them. They have no songs."

Hitchcock by way of Kafka -- a classic existential mystery told in a disorienting separate reality not quite like our own. It's a bold move to take a Holocaust set narrative and completely throw out the actual setting itself, but Petzold only enhances the weird themes of the story by taking it to a completely different but still very familiar time. This is a classic tale of becoming the person you say you are but really aren't -- then begging the question of what if you're not the only one also living a false identity. Buoyed by an excellent and very enigmatic lead performance from Franz Rogowski, who displays a tremendous skill for playing somebody so closed off but also very charismatic and watchable.

6. Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood (dir. Quentin Tarantino)

"When you come to the end of the line, with a buddy who is more than a brother and a little less than a wife, getting blind drunk together is really the only way to say farewell."

Tarantino trades in his B-movie worship and penchant for comical bloodbaths (well, for the most part) to make something I certainly didn't expect from him: a relaxed hangout movie about getting old and falling out of fashion. Exceptional production design whisks us away to the height of Hollywood and three different people all looking at their future careers in very different lights. Leo gets to stretch his wings in all sorts of silly fun ways and Brad Pitt finally lets go of the young superstar image and easily slips into his more natural "hot single dad" swagger, playing the most effortlessly cool character of his career. Tarantino sets aside time to look back on his own flaws as well and playfully reflects on his own particular ...quirks. Easily his best since his 90s prime and the first time in a long time I've felt the maturity that he showcased in Jackie Brown.

5. The Lighthouse (dir. Robert Eggers)

"Damn ye! Let Neptune strike ye dead Winslow! HAAARK!"

Hyper-masculine mania as told through a wonderful blend of dark comedy and cosmic horror and with some of the most lush black-and-white cinematography maybe ever in a film. Eggers' now trademark devotion to absolute accurate period detail in both visual design and dialogue greatly helps this reach transcendent heights. But it's truly the two performances of Dafoe and Pattinson that help it weave a perfect spiral of insanity that also manages to be so oddly fun. Never could there be any other paring of actors that would perfectly showcase these two dirty sea-dogs going stark raving mad at each other so well.

4. Midsommar (dir. Ari Aster)

"As Hårga takes, so Hårga also gives."

(Director's Cut) Every generation deserves their own paranoia-fueled pagan horrorshow, but Aster strikes a much deeper vein in his epic take on the classic territory The Wicker Man had previously claimed. The brutal rituals of the Hårga are only set dressing most of the time, with much more focus poured into the vile toxicity plaguing the relationship between students Dani and Christian. Reynor's Christian is such a perfect portrayal of a terrible influence -- he's charming, fun, and likeable when he's on your side, but the second anybody goes against him his seedy manipulation begins to seep into everything he says. Pugh continues her winning streak too, delivering a broken person desperately trying to put a smile on while falling apart on the inside as she realizes she truly is all alone in the world. While some might be disappointed by the lack of actual "terror" for a good chunk of the movie, Aster has found something much more likely to scar us than these friendly Swedish cultists.

3. Sunset (dir. László Nemes)

"The horror of the world hides behind these infinitely pretty things."

After striking gold with Son of Saul, Laszlo Nemes takes a hard turn into a very different genre but manages to create a wonderfully unique spin on classic detective noir. His signature camerawork powers this yarn, successfully taking the claustrophobic eye of Saul and using it to give a truly immersive sense of place in the tumultuous world of 1913 Budapest, where danger is simmering under the surface and ready to boil over at any moment. After all, noir is always about the eye of the detective, so Nemes' style takes it to a literal degree where everything outside of Irisz' field of vision is incomprehensible. We catch the same shady sideways glances and hushed whispers at the same time she does too. The plotting, like all noir tales, gets a little too complex for its own good, although it's less because of double-crossing and deceit and more from the story slowly dropping its connection to reality to function on a far more allegorical level. But as far as immersive, experiential cinema goes, not even 1917 can stack up to this film's highs, as the enraged lower-class populace eventually comes for the heads of the bourgeoise and Irisz suddenly realizes she is in the very wrong place at the very wrong time.

2. Portrait of a Lady on Fire (dir. Céline Sciamma)

"Do all lovers feel they're inventing something?"

An absolutely breathtaking portrait (hehe) of yearning and love, so astonishingly romantic and actually aware of what will make a woman swoon. Every technical aspect is perfect, from the gorgeous locale to the lovely windswept dresses to the soft, classical cinematography. But the true magic comes from Merlant and Haenel perfectly delivering every line of Sciamma's wonderous script. Those two have a sexual tension strong enough to burn down the theater, as their shy glances turn into deep longing stares and both their steely professional reserves give way to poorly suppressed joy at just being able to be with the other. Even their initial terse dialogue melts into pure romantic splendor, as they lovingly catalog all the little gestures the other does when flustered. Their connection during filming was powerful enough to fuel rumors around the two in the press and is currently providing the desire for every thirsty lesbian who finishes this to immediately pull up videos from the press tour and hunt for those same things between the actors themselves. And trust me, they are there.

1. Parasite (dir. Bong Joon-ho)

"Not 'rich but still nice.' Nice because she's rich, you know? Hell, if I had all this money, I'd be nice too!"

Very rarely does a film come along that actually warrants to be described as "perfect", as in one that literally generates no critiques in any way even if I was forced to pick something at gunpoint to complain about. But Parasite truly does every single thing right. Even Bong's tonal whiplash style, which does grate on me at times, somehow fits perfectly here as the schemes become increasingly madcap and the increasing sense that this will all come crashing down horribly mounts ever higher. Until then, it's an absolute joy to watch in every way, as Bong stacks the card deck higher and all the characters dive further into the sewer for their own benefit. The midpoint pivot works wonderfully too, as it goes to show that literally every person is getting played in the world of Parasite. It's massive success is only surprising to those who haven't seen it: it's the perfect movie for the era it came out in and may as well be the watershed moment for a new age of cinema where Hollywood finally admits that it's not the king of the world anymore.

#top 25 #2019 in film #parasite #portrait of a lady on fire #sunset #midsommar #lighthouse #fuck capitalism

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in-defense-of-the-horror · 7 years ago

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American Horror Story Hotel: A Rant Continued

Yesterday I posted my thoughts on AHS: Roanoke, because it was terrible and all my anger was eating me up inside. I thought that would be the end of it, but I was wrong.

@colonelcaribou was curious as to my thoughts on Hotel, and so I’m here to present you with more ranting about American Horror Story (something that I’m always more than happy to do, by the way.)

SPOILER WARNING: Like my last AHS rant, this is intended for people who have already seen the season in question, this time Hotel.

Let’s just go ahead and start this off with one of my favorite things; unpopular opinions. Hotel is actually my personal favorite season of American Horror Story. While I don’t think it’s as good as Murder House from a critical standpoint, the strengths from the season all play to my preferences whereas the weaknesses are issues that I seem to have with every season of the show - making it the most enjoyable for me to watch. That being said, it’s the only season (excluding Roanoke) that I’ve only seen one time, and I’m probably the least familiar with it.

While it is my favorite season - it’s far from perfect. Since this is a rant, I’m going to start by talking about the things that drove me crazy.

I think one of the aspects that bothered me most throughout the season was Chloë Sevigny’s portrayal of the grieving mother Alex Lowe. I can see where she was going with the role, the under-played emotions were meant to illustrate the detachment and depression that her character is experiencing (at least, that’s what I got out of it.) However, it led to me feeling like many parts of the story regarding her character were bland at best. The fact that the only real emotion I remember her distinctly expressing was anger (which was often misguided, misplaced, or exaggerated) tipped the scales toward me actively disliking her character. This was a big issue that I had with what was an otherwise great subplot.

Before I move away from the Lowe family too much, it’s also worth nothing that I took issue with some character design choices for the small son, Holden Lowe. This sounds like nitpicking, and maybe it is, but could they have made the kid any creepier? It would be one thing if that was part of the story all the way through - or if they had made him look more like a normal kid in the flashbacks at least, but I actually found it really distracting. With the long, wispy, white blond hair, the pale skin, and his mother’s vacant expression - this kid was legitimately the most terrifying part of the season in my opinion, and it kind of sucks that I don’t think it was intentional.

Now let’s talk about James Patrick March.

Don’t get me wrong, I thought he was an interesting character. His design was great, Evan Peters did a fantastic job playing him, but his name bothered me. It’s not the first time that American Horror Story has changed the name of a character or even a historical figure being portrayed on the show - and I can see why they wouldn’t want to flat out say that this character was H. H. Holmes. After all, the Hotel Cortez was an amalgamation of many different locations, and it wasn’t even located in the same state as the infamous “Murder Mansion” that Holmes built in Chicago. Using the name of the actual killer would have been spreading a wild amount of misinformation, and considering the amount of liberties they had to take with the character’s history, could have been seen as pretty insensitive.

It makes sense that they would choose a new name for him and just use Holmes as inspiration (like they did with the Briarcliff Institute in Asylum) but there was one episode where it started bother me; Devil’s Night. In a room with the spirits of the most notorious serial killers, the fact that H. H. Holmes had been replaced with James Patrick March meant that he obviously couldn’t be at the soiree, since he was, in a way, hosting it. It’s a small enough detail, but it’s one that got on my nerves while I was watching, and as I’m typing this out I realize it really stuck with me.

That small issue is also a great transition into Devil’s Night, which was my least favorite episode and, as far as I saw it, the worst part of the season.

Let’s say for a moment that I buy into the premise of serial killer ghosts having dinner together annually on the one night of the year where they have physical form on this plane (which for the record, I don’t.) Let’s also say that the ghost of not H. H. Holmes was somehow a mentor to all these serial killers from all over the country, and that somehow makes sense. The execution was still very flawed. The whole scene was over the top, the dialogue felt very forced, and what the fuck was going on with the Zodiac killer?

Like, okay, I get that we don’t have enough information to do an accurate depiction of the Zodiac killer, but I feel like there were a lot of better alternatives than to making him look like the world’s worst Monty Python and the Holy Grail cosplayer (did anyone else get that impression from his outfit, or was it just me?) Much like my issue with Roanoke where they failed to give me an answer to an actual, historical mystery that they decided to bring to screen, I feel like there were a lot of ways to go.

Zodiac could have been just a regular guy whose name wasn’t mentioned. Could have been a regular woman whose name wasn’t mentioned. They could have created a name (like they did with James Patrick March.) He could have been Ted Cruz - which would have been the best use of a meme on television. He could have, and this is crazy, not been there at all. I think that would have been my top choice, actually, because from what we do know of the Zodiac killer, what are the chances he would attend an event like that anyway? I feel like the most elegant solution to the dilemma would have been to have a place-setting at the table for him (with the symbol on it of course) and then to have slipped a line in there about how he never shows.

There were some other issues throughout the season, but these are the ones that really stuck with me, and that I’m still thinking about a year after watching it. So, with all these complaints, you’re probably wondering why this is my favorite season. Unlike Roanoke, Hotel had a lot of redeemable moments and now I’m going to transition into some more positive ranting.

For one, the ambiance was great. The set was stunning, the cinematography was gorgeous, and hands down this was the season with the best sound track. (They got my favorite She Wants Revenge song AND my favorite Eagles song in the pilot, how awesome is that?)

There was an excellent use of body horror throughout the season, from the grisly killings committed to represent the ten commandments to the flashback where Sally sews herself to her friends. I think more than any other season the visuals really stuck with me.

While I have already brought up some problems I had with certain casting decisions - there were a lot of fantastic choices also made in that regard. I was surprised by just how talented Lady Gaga was in her role as The Countess, Kathy Bates continued to impressed, I think Sally was one of Sarah Paulson’s most intriguing and well-played characters. Let’s also not forget about the amazing supporting cast in this season. While there were countless characters in the Hotel Cortez that were wonderful, I don’t think any of them stand out as much as Liz Taylor.

In addition to being beautifully designed, perfectly portrayed and having a fascinating backstory that contrasts with the darker themes in the rest of the season, Liz Taylor was possibly the best instance of representation in the season - perhaps in the entire show. While the Countess also offers some LGBTQ representation, I was deeply moved by the mature way they dealt with having a transgender character recur throughout the season.

They addressed Iris not being comfortable with Liz due to her own ignorance, and she was upfront about how she didn’t know how to ask. Liz, a strong woman confident in her identity is happy to set the record straight, even though it means sharing about a time in her life before she had that confidence.

That flashback scene also shows The Countess in a softer light as she helps Liz embrace who she was meant to be and acknowledging her as a woman before the rest of the world did. She pushes Liz to come out as a woman, and when she sees that she’s pushing too hard, tones it down and suggests a smaller, more manageable step. Maybe she didn’t handle being an ally the best, but the fact that she realized she was trying to force someone to do too much too fast and backed down showed a side of her character that was unexpected, especially considering her unflinchingly dominant personality.

Where I thought Liz really shined though, was after that when she’s in bed with Tristan. Tristan is surprised that he’s fallen for Liz because “he’s not gay.” Liz is quick to assert her gender and set him straight. “You’re not gay for being with me. I’m a girl. I’m a hetero girl.”

There’s one last big thing that made me really appreciate this season, and that was the mythology. Those of you who have been following me awhile know that I am tougher on vampire stories than I am on just about anything else. It’s partially because I got burnt out on it, but I also feel like a lot of vampire mythology is poorly executed and overly romanticized. If I had known there would be vampires in the season, I might not have even wanted to watch it - but I’m so glad I did.

There are a lot of vampire romances in Hotel, but at the same time I feel like they weren’t glorified. At no point did I feel like the show was trying to sell me on the concept of eternal love through a vampyric virus. On the contrary I think it illustrates how the undead are in many ways lonelier than they ever were as humans. The relationships aren’t born out of romance, they’re born out of the lust that comes with the vitality of everlasting youth, and that’s how it was depicted.

All in all I felt like this was a much more realistic take on vampires. They’re less idealistic and in a way the idea of vampires being more human is a lot scarier than the alternative. They’re not dangerous because they’re monsters, but rather because they have the same wants and needs that we all have, but amplified. Not only does it make the prospect of them existing more plausible, it makes the idea of becoming one much less appealing - which is exactly how it should be.

The undead (the ghosts and vampires both) were glamorous, but that beauty was always matched with such clear suffering.

I have a lot more that I could probably say about the show, and about this season in particular, but this hits most of my big points about it. While it’s not perfect, there were a lot of things that made me enjoy the story.

In fact, writing this up, I think I’ve talked myself into re-watching the season to see if it holds up.

#american horror story #ahs #american horror story hotel #ahs hotel #ahs rant #rant #ranting #american horror story rant #american horror story hotel rant #hotel rant

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imaginejamesandsirius · 7 years ago

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Hi, I was wondering... could you write a fic in which Lily turns James down once again and maybe yells at him, and Sirius defends James because he honestly can't understand how one can not love him. And then James realizes it's always been Sirius (and maybe Lily was rejecting James because she knew Prongsfoot were meant to be)? I know it's cliché, but I'd like it :) and this is not meant to be Lily bashing or anything (I mean, I like her)... Thank you!

For all that she had said no repeatedly, it had never occurred to James that Lily was legitimately not interested. They would be perfect together, he was convinced. It was like the ideal love story! They meet at odds, get closer as they grow, top of the class, Head Boy and Girl, and eventually realise they are great together, marry young, and have lots of children. It was the type of story that dominated sickle romance books (ahem, not that James knew what those were like).

But when James tried to explain what he was thinking to her, she didn’t react favourably. Lily gaped at him. “Are you absolutely mental? Yes, I’ll admit, it makes a nice story, but we don’t get on. Even if we did, we wouldn’t be dating!”

“Why not?”

Lily made an impatient noise, threw her hands in the air, and stormed off.

James stared at her retreating figure, confused. She was acting like he was missing something big, but he didn’t know what. Maybe he should get her flowers; everyone liked flowers. Well, Sirius did, and he always smiled when James gave him some.

He didn’t end up getting her flowers, partially because it would be better to ask than accidentally get her a kind she hated or was allergic to, and partially because when he asked Sirius for help with Lily in the past, he got a look on his face that said he’d rather be anywhere but there. James hated that look, so he didn’t ask Sirius’s advice, though it undoubtedly would have been helpful.

Lily blinked at him. “You want to know my favourite flower,” she said flatly.

He nodded, thinking that maybe, for once, this conversation would go right.

She leaned back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest and giving him a look.

...Then again, maybe not.

“James-- and I mean this in the nicest way possible-- you’re an imbecile.”

“Do you not like flowers?”

“Why do you want to give me flowers?” she asked, not countering, just ignoring his question.

“I thought you might like them. Sirius likes flowers, says they make the room brighter.”

“So you thought I’d like flowers because Sirius-- your best mate-- likes them.”

“Yes?”

Lily shook her head. “Unbelievable,” she muttered. “I need to finish this essay for Professor McGonagall.”

“O...kay.” He walked away, feeling reprimanded, though he didn’t know what for.

Sirius was sympathetic as always when James returned looking glum. “It’s alright mate, she’ll come around.” He’d been saying that for months, but it still inexplicably made James feel better.

“If you say so. What’re you working on?”

Sirius grinned, launching into an explanation of his motorbike and the flying charms he was currently working on, which quite frankly went over James’s head. He’d started on that mechanic’s book Sirius lent him, but wasn’t far enough in it to understand the level Sirius was talking at. It was nice to see him so passionate, though, and he didn’t mind pausing to explain the more complex parts when James asked. James made a mental note to read the book faster on the off chance he’d be able to help by the time he was through. If nothing else, he’d understand more, and Sirius would get that pleased little smile.

~~~

“You want to know what?” Lily asked incredulously, though not offended, so at least he wasn’t regressing.

“Your favourite type of chocolate. Flowers and chocolates are what you get the person you fancy, but you didn’t answer for flowers.”

“What type of chocolates do you get Sirius?”

“Anything with caramel,” he said immediately. When Lily raised an eyebrow pointedly, he defended, “He loves caramel, but he refuses to buy it for himself always insisting that he likes dark chocolate. I’m not about to make him live without caramel chocolate just because he’s being a stubborn arse, can you imagine how sad he’d be?” James shook his head. “It would never be worth it.”

“Mmhmm.” Lily looked like James had just proved her point, but James, as per usual with her, was completely lost.

He left a few minutes later, feeling like he’d just lost a battle he hadn’t known he was fighting and still didn’t know the cause of. She’s certainly interesting, he thought as he made his way to the One-Eyed Witch statue. Sirius was about to run out of chocolate (his caramel stash, not the dark that he only touched when he was out of caramel and hated every bite of), so James figured he could get him some before he got back from Ancient Runes.

~~~

“C’mon Lily we would make a great couple.”

“We really, really wouldn’t,” she said, aggravated.

“I think that we would.” Granted it was for reasons he’d already told her, and she’d denied/ignored, but if she thought about it, she’d agree. Maybe. He was steadily losing faith in that assumption.

“No we wouldn’t! Not when one of us doesn’t care, and the other is clearly in love with their best friend even if he won’t admit it. For fuck’s sake, James ask out the person you actually fancy for once!”

“I- what are you talking about?”

“Sirius! Sirius Black, your best friend, the person you spend all your time with.”

“I don’t- I don’t fancy Sirius,” he stuttered out.

“James just the other day you told me that you get flowers and chocolates for the person you fancy. You give Sirius both.”

“We’re friends,” he protested.

“Oh really? Do you get Remus and Peter those things?”

“Of course not.”

“Why ‘of course not’?”

He opened his mouth, then closed it. When he opened it again, he settled on, “Well, it’s just weird, that’s why. Why would I give them flowers?”

“Why would you give Sirius flowers?”

“He likes them!” James said defensively.

“And you like giving them,” Lily said simply. “You know what, James? I don’t like things like that, these romantic gestures. You know who it does sound like likes that? Consider that all of your suggestions are taken from what you know Sirius likes, so maybe you should be with someone you know, like, off the top of my head, Sirius.” James stared at her, dumbfounded. “Think about it.” With that, she pat him hard on the shoulder and walked away.

He walked back to Gryffindor Tower in a haze, snippets of memories from his time with Sirius flashing through his head. Sirius always- Merlin- he would light up when James gave him a gift, smile so wide, and thank him. Even when he was sad, he would smile at James like he didn’t need anyone else.

Oh gods. One day, all the Marauders were feeling silly, wanted harmless fun with each other in the rare, shining sun. Peter collected hundreds of daisies somehow, and they all played. Remus and Peter did some muggle pastime of linking them to make daisy chains while Sirius and James tickled each other’s noses, seeing how long they could last before they broke (they scarcely went past a few seconds so the game didn’t go on very long). When the two of them were done, James sat on his knees behind Sirius, and started braiding daisies in his hair. It wasn’t a disaster because it was far from the first time James had done this, and he was glad. The neat braids made Sirius look like a god, the white petals shining against his black hair, all of it highlighted in yellow. James took a picture with Sirius’s muggle camera, and it was easily his favourite photograph. He’d caught Sirius with his head tilted back to look at James, but his eyes were closed from the sun, and his nose was scrunched up in a full-body laugh at some quip James had made (he remembered it was specifically to try and get that expression). Peter and Remus had even done the ‘loves me-loves me not’ game to them and James had just rolled his eyes and said of course he loved Sirius, don’t be ridiculous.

But now it was like he’d looked around and realised that, yes, the walls of Hogwarts were made of stone. It wasn’t a realisation necessarily, but he hadn’t thought of it before no matter how obvious it was to everyone else, including the wall.

He was in love with Sirius.

He’d been in love with Sirius for years, had been acting on it, and never fucking noticed it before. Well now he was noticing, and he didn’t want to spend another buggering second without having talked to Sirius about it.

Sirius was in the decently filled common room, sitting in the armchair he and James had transfigured and stuck to the ground in third year, a book Flitwick had given him on professional charms in his lap as he read. No one was nearby, so he didn’t need to ask Sirius to another room to talk. James sat on the ground in front of him, leaning his cheek on Sirius’s knee when he moved the book for James. He immediately half-closed the book, setting it to the side as he looked down at James, grinning and carding his free hand through James’s hair.

“I love you,” James said.

“I know. I love you too.”

“No, that’s not--” James turned his face down, wincing when his glasses dug into his face. Impatiently, he pulled them off and put his head back where it was, looking at Sirius again. He was close enough that James could see him clearly without his glasses, and he adored moments like this. Something about having a filter between him and Sirius felt wrong. “I’m in love with you.”

Sirius wasn’t smiling anymore, instead frowning slightly in confusion. “I know.”

“You know?” he said, taken aback, no longer resting his head on Sirius.

“You aren’t exactly subtle, mate,” he said with an uneasy half-smile.

“You’re in love with me too.” He was thinking and saying it for the first time yet knew intrinsically that it was true.

“Well,” Sirius shifted uncomfortably. “Yeah. I dunno why you’re bringing it up all of a sudden. When you started pursuing Lily, I thought we had an unspoken agreement to ignore it. I don’t know what universe you’re traveling in James, but this is the opposite of ignoring it.”

“I didn’t… I didn’t know.” When Sirius gave him a confused look, he continued in sputtering starts and stops. “You- I never thought about it. I didn’t know I felt that way about you. Or that you felt that way about me. I wouldn’t- I wouldn’t have done that.”

“You didn’t know,” Sirius repeated, an edge of disbelief in his voice, but not like he thought James was lying. “Are you bloody kidding me?” He let go of his book, and it tumbled to the ground with a thump that neither of them heeded.

James shook his head. “I’m sorry. Can we start? Now? Please?”

Sirius grabbed him by the front of his robes and wrenched him in, pressing a long overdue kiss to James’s lips. “I-” kiss “cannot-” kiss “believe-” kiss “you didn’t-” kiss “know.” He kissed him again, opening his mouth against James’s in an invitation that was eagerly accepted. “Everyone in the whole bloody castle knew, and you didn’t. Do you have any idea what it’s like to tell people that no, we’re not fighting, we didn’t break up, you’re just asking Lily out? Any idea, Jamie?”

“Can’t say I do,” he said breathlessly, addicted to the kisses Sirius was giving him so frequently as if to catch up on all the ones they missed.

“Out of curiosity,” Sirius said, looking pleased about his effect on James, “what made you realise?”

James grimaced. “Lily sort of… shouted it at me.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she channeled Merlin himself to get through your thick skull.”

“Me either.” James kissed him again. “Can I keep buying you flowers? And chocolates? And playing with your hair?”

“It’s required, Prongs, how dare you imply otherwise.”

James beamed at him, already calculating how many gladiolus were in the UK that he could buy Sirius by the weekend.

#filled #prongsfoot #marauders #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #getting together #hogwarts time #no voldemort au #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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acoolguyscoollife · 5 years ago

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Chapter 7: The Under-World

The simulation pretty much got the world right, with the smell at least. The entirety of The Under-World is set in an underground society, partially created from a sewer system that the inhabitants ended up turning into their own society when they began building places to live. The whole story, at its core, was an allegory for segregation and separating based on political views, but thankfully, it wasn’t too heavy handed, as this wasn’t exactly something I found entertaining, and this game was one of my favourites. Favourite game or not, however, the fact that I was most definitely ankle deep in shit was not a good thing.

“Oh jesus, I would have thought we’d have been put somewhere else!” Tabitha cried, causing me to look back at her. I had begun to look back forward before the image of her actually reached my brain, and my head whipped back around to look at her again. Her ragged lab coat had been replaced with a smaller, white coat that stuck out like a sore thumb in the dankness of the sewers, though was pristine all the same. The rest of us were still wearing the same outfits, thankfully, as I didn’t want to lose my jacket. It was important to me, as I felt it basically completed my look.

“Tab’, what are you wearing?” I asked, and Seth and Amy glanced over at her too. “When did you even change into that?” She looked down for a moment, then back up, as confused as I was.

“I… didn’t change it. I’m not sure what happened, maybe something to do with my innate magic passing through my outfit?” She replied, looking it over. “Though I have to say, it feels and looks pretty nice. I might just keep it.” She added, shrugging slightly. For some reason, this made me a little uncomfortable, but I wasn’t entirely sure why. Something about the stark white clothes, plus my admittedly faded memories of this game made my hair stand on end. A quick look over to Amy said that she felt it too, but for whatever reason, neither of us knew why. With a grimace, I pulled my feet out of the sewer water and onto dry land, groaning aloud as I saw the state my shoes were in. They were absolutely caked in mud, and pretty much ruined. Even if this was just a simulation, I still wasn’t happy with it, but what could I do? There was going to be a lot more sewer walking in the future, so I had to just grit my teeth and deal with it. Speaking of sewer walking, the four of us began our trek down one of the pipes, none of us actually sure where it would lead, but happy to just get out of this cramped area all the same.

“Why do you two like this game, anyway?” Seth asked, directed at Amy and myself. Tabitha had never played it, I knew that much, and while I had pestered Seth to get into it a long time ago, he never had.

“It’s an adventure about an outsider, who finds his way into a society of those who’d be deemed unworthy!” Amy said, almost hopping over to us, buzzing with excitement. “Romance, intrigue, subterfuge, the game has it all!” Seth just shrugged in response, but I pressed further.

“Wait, when was there romance in The Under-World?” I asked, and Amy smiled a coy smile.

“If you talk to the prince, or princess, of the realm right, you can take a path of romance where everyone wins at the end of the game, since your character gets to not leave. It’s a very PG ending, but… well, that’s what mods are for.” Amy’s smile was a little unnerving, but at the same time, it was still the same friend I’d always had, so seeing her like this was just something I laughed at nowadays.

“Ames, you are such a perv.” I said, and she pouted, folding her arms as we continued walking.

“Am not, I just think love is beautiful, in all of its forms, and sexual gratification is an amazing way of sharing love.” She replied, causing me to stop in my tracks for a second.

“Whoa, getting a little real there, huh Amy?” Seth said, and she let out a small laugh. “Got anything else you wanna tell us, while you’re confessing your sins?” Amy raised a middle finger at him, still laughing.

“Oh knock it off, Seth, you’re one to talk, you vanilla bitchbaby.” She replied, and it was Seth’s turn to pout and fold his arms. “I just feel like sharing love is important, and sex is healthy. Mods that help put that in my games are good, it adds a dose of reality to them.” Amy added, and Seth shrugged again.

“Whatever floats your boat, man. You do you, that’s the best way to operate in life.” Seth replied, and Amy grinned, flashing her white teeth that shone in the dim light from above.

“Honestly, I can completely understand your mentality now, Amy. Before now, I had suspected that you were polyamorous, but I wasn’t sure if I should say anything about it because… well, you know, when you assume, and whatnot.” Tabitha said, who had been walking on the other side of the flowing river of waste, but still close enough to hear the entire conversation.

“What’s polyamorous mean?” Amy asked, as the four of us rounded a corner at an intersection without even needing to ask each other which way we were going to go. Hopping across to the other side almost resulted in me faceplanting into the water, but Tabitha’s magic caught me before I could, hoisting me by the back of my pants.

“What? How can you not-” Seth began, but Tabitha shushed him, flashing him a frown in the dull light.

“Polyamorous means that you have multiple partners, kind of like an open relationship, but actively dating and loving multiple people.” Tabitha explained, and Amy nodded along to her every word, listening intently.

“That… makes so much sense.” Amy breathed when Tabitha was finished talking. “Low-key, that was a legitimate revelation as to my personality.” She added, confirming that she was being sincere, as her first sentence had the atmosphere of dry sarcasm that I knew she was fond of.

“That’s real great, all of us having epiphanies in a friggin’ sewer.” Seth muttered, but his smile gave away his true feelings about the situation. “I was joking when I asked if you had any more sins to confess, y’know.”

“So Amy, I kinda have a weird question now.” I asked her, and she glanced over at me, now being one of the four of us in the front.

“Shoot, CG.” She replied, hopping over a tiny crack as she did so, causing her words to jutter slightly.

“Are you bisexual?” I said bluntly, not really sure how else to ask it while being delicate. From my side, the audible sound of flesh hitting flesh echoed through the pipe, clueing me in that Seth’s hand was now on his face in disbelief.

“Dude, of course I am. I thought that was obvious.” Amy said, frowning slightly, but I frantically shook my hands outwards, trying to communicate that I had more to say.

“No no, I just mean… what’s that like? Liking both sides of the street, as it were.” Every word that I said felt like verbal diarrhoea out of my mouth, piling out one after another in a clumsy, screwed-up manner. Truth be told, the smell made that idea actually seem quite viable, but dwelling on it wasn’t something I particularly wanted to do. Amy paused for a moment as we walked, making it so all we could hear was our footsteps as we progressed further into the pipes. God, I hoped we would get out soon.

“It’s… not really like anything, I guess is the best way to put it.” Amy said after some deliberation. “I like girls, and I like guys, and that’s kind of really all there is to say on the matter. No specific preferences, no reasons why I like both, I just… kinda do, you know?” She explained, and I nodded after she had finished. It was interesting to hear this from her, as I had never really focused on my sexuality myself. That being said, it was something I still didn’t really want to focus on, so I quickly tried to think of a joke to get out of the situation I had managed to fumble my way into.

“Haha, you like girls, that’s so gay.” I had to admit, my joke telling skills under pressure needed work, and the audible groan from Seth made that very clear. Amy just laughed, most likely sensing how awkward I was feeling.

“Says the guy who’s usually wearing leather.” She replied, and I was going to come back with a witty retort – like no you – when I saw the movement ahead of us. My hand quickly went to my sword, and Seth held his gun out in front of him. A low glow indicated that Tabitha had her dancing fire in her hands again, and Amy made the wall crackle for a moment with electricity as she pulled a small dagger made of brick and the metal pipe out of it. I had to hand it to her, she was making a lot of headway with her alchemizing. It seemed to just come second nature to her.

“Hey, who’s out there?” Seth yelled authoritatively, and I sighed, any hopes I had of being sneaky dissolving. “We’re not going to hurt you, so just come out.” He added, and for a moment, nothing was said in response, before a small voice rang out.

“I can literally see all four of you brandishing weapons, you know.” It said, and I immediately took my hand off my sword, motioning for the others to do the same. While it had been a long time since I had played the game, I knew that voice.

“Is that…?” Amy began, not sure whether to finish the sentence in case she was wrong. In response, the person came out of the shadows, the green eyes being the first visible thing. The person was human, or at least, mostly human. Most of the people put into the sewers were partially mutated, but none more so than this character. Long, slender cat ears were perched on her head, sticking out like… well, like long slender cat ears. Come on, I can’t be expected to find a simile for everything, now can I? Despite it being too dark to actually see it, I was certain that a dark furred cat tail swished behind the person. A grin revealed rows of sharp, predator teeth, but I knew from experience that this was a kind and gentle soul. “Aki!” Amy finished, barely standing still for a second before pouncing the catgirl into a hug.

“How… uh, do you know my name?” Aki asked, and Seth just shrugged. I was surprised that he hadn’t worn his shoulders out from how much he’d been doing it, at this point.

“Oh, I’ll explain later. It’s just… so good to see you!” Amy replied, looking her all over.

“Do I know you?” Aki replied, still dumbfounded. “Fur real, I don’t think I’ve ever met you guys befur.” Of course, I had forgotten this character had a habit of talking in cat puns. Both an endearing trait, and most likely grating to Seth and Tabitha, even though it had just started.

“Well, I don’t know who you are, but I’m Tabitha Williams. Next to me is Seth Allen, the girl hugging you is Amy Frays, and the guy in the sunglasses calls himself Cool Guy.” Tabitha roll-called the four of us, pointing to each of us as she did so. “It’s nice to meet you.” She added at the end, more of a formality than anything.

“Oh! I’m Aki Cataria! It’s very nice to meet you too, ma’am!” Aki curtseyed, and Tabitha looked away, decidedly uncomfortable. “Say, are you four lost? I could show you to the cat-pital, if you want.” I had to admit, Aki’s cat puns needed some work.

“Oh my gosh, please do! Come with us everywhere, if you’d like!” Amy couldn’t contain her excitement, and while Aki looked a little unnerved, the sheer happiness of Amy was radiating over all of us, and it drew a smile to Aki’s lips again.

“Well, I can’t deny someone as enfursiastic as that, can I?” Aki said, and I paused for a moment before realising that she said enthusiastic with another cat pun. “Come on then, it’s not far now!” She added, grabbing Amy’s hand with her anthropomorphic mix of a hand and a paw, causing Amy to squeal in delight. The two of them rushed forward, with the rest of us trailing behind slightly.

“You know, I’m just now realising that introducing Amy to a way for her to directly interact with all of her fictional crushes is, in layman’s terms, a really bad idea.” Tabitha said to the three of us, and I could do nothing but nod as I watched Amy talking Aki’s ear off. I sighed, something telling me that this was going to be an even longer day than it already had been.

#cool guy #A Cool Guy's Cool Life #original fiction #story #creative writing #LGBTQ #polyamory #bisexuality

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