#american horror story hotel rant

[emilyskinners]

since I'm back in my ahs era since I'm doing a rewatch with one of my mutuals who is watching it for the first time. I decided to make a part 2 with the evans as yearbook quotes. if yall wanna see the first part that i made a couple years back, you can check out here, but for now, here's another one

[aster-spiral-30]

Worst-written TV shows I’ve seen in my short life so far:

-Girls (HBO)

(only for a few episodes, I had raw hatred for every single character in it)

-Hannibal (NBC)

(I sat through all of that godawful AO3 fanfic -Michael Mann, Jonathan Demme, & Ridley Scott movies are superior adaptations)

-Yellowstone

(Only for a few episodes, mighty Christ, how I hate the Dutton family except for their abused lawyer/ slave)

-Death Note

(the first show I regretted watching as I got older, not a single likable or interesting character in there- kill em all)

-American Horror Story after HOTEL

(only the teasers & intros are good after that)

Shows like Velma & Big Mouth were way too obvious- those shows are so bad that it’s not even worth making fun of ‘em.

…Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel are on the thinnest ice you can imagine.

Watch Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, Fargo (the movie & the show), The Sopranos, True Detective (seasons 1 & 4), I Think You Should Leave, The Boys, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Cuphead Show, & The Regular Show instead.

[cellophane-wasp]

NYC is top 5 seasons, I will not hear otherwise. Bc my faves change frequently, I'd have to rewatch the series for the third time in the past year, just to rank seasons. I might actually do it. In no order, my faves are asylum, coven, freak show, hotel, red tide, and NYC.

Now to you ahs bitches... Ok, so y'all hated hotel but now it's one of the classics, some people are warming up to Roanoke, cult is kinda well liked for some reason??? Oomf says they only hear glazing and unfair critiques, but I just hear glazing. Apocalypse is bad... But it's fun and not quite as bad as people say it is. 1984 is mid, I don't hear anyone except the die hard fans of it. Roanoke to 1984 is a specific era where ahs became less character driven, more plot heavy, and incredibly campy. And then there's the next shift. Into character driven seasons, significantly more cinematic cinematography, but with little camp compared to any of the seasons before double feature. Red tide is really good. Death valley's only redeeming qualities are some of the visuals, and Sarah Paulson as Mamie Eisenhower. NYC is literally so good, y'all are little bitches who hate slow burn. Delicate had flaws, but it was not that bad. Again y'all hate slow burn. And then the finale crashed and burned. Delicate would've been great if it had more episodes or a longer run time. I will reblog this each time the fanbase warms up to one of the hated seasons that's actually not that bad. The only truly bad "season" is death valley, and that's because there's no plot, most of the characters aren't entertaining, and there's only 4 episodes, so you don't end up caring about said characters. I rest my case. The end. Fin.

[cherries-in-wine]

Lolita rant because why not:

WHY DO SOME PEOPLE STILL CALL IT A LOVE STORY WHEN THERE'S LITERALLY A PART WHERE DOLORES ASKS FOR THE NAME OF "the hotel where you first raped me" LIKE EXCUSE ME WHAT PART OF A 12 YEAR GIRL GETTING RAPED AND ABUSED IS ROMANTIC TO YOU??

I cannot stress this enough LOLITA IS PSYCOLOGICAL HORROR. Humbert Humbert is an unreliable narrator that's manipulating and charming YOU into believing it's a love story but it's your responsibility to read in between the lines and realise what's actually going on. How lolita is just a 12 year old girl named Dolores who is isolated, raped and abused throughout the entire book by Humbert Humbert and has no voice in his story.

Even the people behind the lolita movies did not get this they still think of lolita as some sort of seductress which is just disgusting.

I think the reason why people sometimes interpret it as a love story is because of how beautifully it is written. The way Humbert Humbert writes about Lolita is very dreamy and poetic but that's literally the point of the book it's a cautionary tale.

Some people turn Vladimir Nabokov into the villain for writing a book like this when in reality he was victim of child sexual abuse himself. He called lolita his "poor little girl". He wanted the cover of the book to be an American landscape and especially NOT that of a little girl because he wanted lolita to be faceless. It's so heartbreaking to see the author's wishes be blatantly disrespected.

I love psychological horrors/thrillers with unreliable narrators like lolita and killing stalking but they get misinterpreted so often it's sad.

[the-girl-who-didnt-smile]

Retconned Names for “The Loa” (Hazbin Hotel)

I’ve decided to retcon the names of my DeviantArt OCs. These are their new names: 

Papa Legba (Papa Lébat) → Big Papa / The Doorkeeper

Damballah → Sir Duke / Grandfather Serpent

Baron Samedi → Baron de la Mort (The Baron)

Maman Brigitte → Maman de la Vie (Grann Manman)

Erzulie Dantor → Lady Love

Ogun (Ogou Feray) → Ironman

Erzulie Freda → Lady Rose

("The Baron of Death" and "Maman la Vie" are Scrapped Concepts. They are now demons named "Lanmò" and "Lavi")

They mostly have song-themed names now.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure!!!

To signify their importance to 19th century New Orleans Vodou, the characters inspired by Papa Legba and Damballah each have two names. Sir Duke is also called Grandfather Serpent, as a reference to “Grandfather Rattlesnake”, who probably has a common origin with Damballah. 

For now, I am still calling them “The Loa”, but I’m fine with changing this to “lesser gods” if that’s offensive. It’s pretty obvious who inspired the lesser gods!

I rant about the rationale behind this decision below the cut: 

After thinking about this seriously, I think it is irresponsible to name these characters after the actual deities.

I’ve grappled with this dilemma, since this really does break the naming convention of this show. If the St. Peter-type character is still named “St. Peter”, why should an exception be made? Because Vodou isn’t like Christianity. Christianity is the majority religion in America, and many other places in the world; Vodou is a minority religion that has this horrible history of demonization and mischaracterization. This goes all the way back to the 1800s (and earlier!), and has continued into the present day, with pieces of popular media like The Princess and the Frog and American Horror Story.

Whenever they appear in popular media, the lwa (or, characters named after them) are usually designed / written by people outside the Vodou community. As a consequence of this, outsiders have spread misinformation about Vodou and damaged the reputation of the community. Fans of Hazbin Hotel understand that these characters aren’t actually the deities they’re named after. But this context is not readily apparent to those outside of this fandom. If you don’t change their names, people will think that this show is trying to present commentary on the actual deities. Criticisms of cultural appropriation would be warranted.

We have to consider the popularity of a show like Hazbin Hotel, and the effects this has. If you search “St. Peter”, you’re not going to find “St. Peter (Hazbin Hotel)” in the top results. Again, Christianity is the majority religion in America. But if they existed in the cast, it is likely that images of “The Loa (Hazbin Hotel)” would pop up when someone searches for [insert name of actual lwa]. 

And this isn’t just any fandom... Let’s be real here. The Hazbin Hotel fandom is just full of horny little bitches (CAN”T RELATE!!!!). THE GOD OF WAR MASCULINITY AND BLACKSMITHING has no shot at ever appearing in the canon of Hazbin Hotel. But if he ever did, and his character design was actually good, there would be a shitton of bara porn of him…!

DUDE!!!!!! WHAT”S THE OPPOSITE OF A JIMMY NEUTRON BRAIN BLAST MOMENT????

IMAGINE someone going online, just trying to find information about how to pray to / perform a sacrifice for the lwa, and yeah. A bunch of Hazbin Hotel hen ties and hot ass yaois pop up!!!

STOP LAUGHING!!! 

In all seriousness, it’s legitimately awful!

This is why I think it’s just irresponsible to name them after the actual deities. It’s just really disrespectful to the people who worship them!

On top of this, let’s consider Papa Legba specifically. Here, my “Papa Legba”-type character is clearly this weird Steven’s Universe fusion of Papa Legba and Dahomean Legba. I actually think it is completely warranted to pay tribute to Dahomean Legba, as he is the spiritual father of all jazz and blues musicians.

It’s a show about singing and history!!!!!

But this is how Papa Legba is portrayed in New Orleans Voodoo:

Look at how he’s portrayed in art from the Vodou Renaissance!

Not only has he been widely misrepresented in popular media! He is arguably the single most important lwa from New Orlean Vodou, especially to someone like Alastor who was born at the end of the 19th century!

It must be COMPLETELY sacrilegious to equate Papa Legba with Dahomean Legba!!!

I love him so much….but if you’ve seen what Dahomean Legba looks like…you know what I’m talking about… (THERE”S A REASOIN HE”S LIKE THIS, OK???!!!!)

It is not AT ALL my intent to equate those two deities, but if this character is named “Papa Legba”, that intent is not readily apparent!

I’m also afraid that I made “Big Papa” look too goofy. THIS IS GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND but not everyone reads One Piece. It pains me to say this…b-but even Edwar D. Newgate looks a lil fuckin stupid to people who don’t read One Piece…!

To people who don’t read One Piece, this really could be read as “Holy shit!! You’re trying to make Papa Legba – arguably single most important lwa from New Orleans Vodou – look like a goofy fucking idiot!”

NO!!!!! I”M TRYING TO MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE MONKEY D. GARP BECAUSE I LOVE MONKEY D. GARP!!!!!!

…But yeah. This is why I decided to just change his name. He’s just called “Big Papa” now. I’m also going to try to tone down the goofiness a bit more. I’m really not trying to make him look like a goofy fucking idiot. My intent is to give him range, where he can be playful but also dignified and imposing when the situation calls for it. I actually want him to be a cool character!

Anyways, here’s trivia regarding the new names:

For the most part, they have song-themed names. “Big Papa” is derived from The Notorious B.I.G.’s “Big Poppa”. “Sir Duke” is derived from Stevie Wonder’s “Sir Duke”. “Lady Love” is derived from Lou Rawls’ “Lady Love”.  “Lady Rose” is derived from Louis Armstrong’s “La Vie En Rose”. The two Erzulie-type characters are both “Lady–” something, and their names are references to love songs because they are goddesses of love.

Originally, I was going to call the Ogou Feray-type character GOD WARRIOR because I love Marguerite D. Perrin, but that’s a stupid fucking name, and you can’t give who is arguably the single most important lwa a stupid fucking name! He is now named “Ironman” as a reference to Black Sabbath’s “Iron Man”. I don’t know if Tony D. Stark would let you get away with this…but this is what he’s named in my fanfiction.

When I have time, I do plan to go back and fix up the tags and issue a notice on my AO3 account. It just might take me a while to get around to this.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS FOR THE PORTRAYAL OF VODOU

Because I am FULLY INSANE, I love to think to myself “What if the boys were actually in the canon of Hazbin Hotel?”

OBVIOUSLY no NSFW merch should be sold of them. As far as merch is concerned, they should be treated like St. Peter (Hazbin Hotel). If any merch of them was sold, the profits should be donated to the New Orleans Vodou community.  Not the commercialized side of it, that’s full of white people who are bastardizing Vodou. The ACTUAL keepers of the tradition, who are going to be of African descent. The thought THE LWA getting turned into commercialized products is just horrible to me… Donating all profits to the people who should actually receive it would really make the world a better place!

I share these thoughts, but ultimately it really doesn’t matter AT ALL what I think should be done. What actually matters is the opinion of people in the New Orleans Voodoo community. If the approach is not to retcon Alastor and to add more Voodoo-related elements to the show, surely the creative team behind Hazbin Hotel should hire consultants with expertise and connections to this community.

For example, I imagine my depiction of The Baron of Death is controversial. I REALLY tried not to emasculate him, but I think his depiction could be read the wrong way. There is a side of Vodou that is accepting of the LGBTQ community; there is another side that is very much not accepting of it. The consultant should have the final say on whether it’s OK to make one of these characters an actual trans headcanon. If the consultant is like “this is really uncomfortable and disrespectful”, then this should go on the cutting room floor. As I’ve touched on before, even LGBTQ communities have a problem with misrepresenting minority cultures. It is more important to portray this culture accurately, and their deities respectfully. There are other creative ways to work in LGBTQ (specifically, trans) rep into the show!

Another example: The inclusion of Ironman. I’m so CRAZY for even thinking about this… Kratos (God of War) has no shot at popping into Precure! But yeah. I would not want to exclude him due to his chief importance, but it is in fact inevitable that the horny ass bitches (like myself…) in this fandom will draw bara of THE BLACKSMITHING WARRIOR GOD OF MASCULINITY.  If the consultant is like “don’t include him” for this reason, then just don’t include him.

Thanks for coming to my TEDx Talk!

[mask131]

I was listening to this beautiful video-tribute to "Twisted Nerves" and it made me want to post about something I need to rant about. About AHS, about its downfall, about the mediocrity of "Apocalypse", about how AHS literaly betrayed and sold itself out in the most toxic way.

I will not make this post long or extensive, because the elditch gods know there is a LOT to cover with the artistic AND moral decay of AHS, so I will remain on the point this video triggered. Tate Langdon.

In the first season of American Horror Story, that was later named by fans "Murder House" but which originally was just "American Horror Story", Tate Langdon is a dangerous and toxic person. It is the entire point of the show: he starts out, to the other characters (Ben, Violet) and to the viewers as a mentally deranged but still charismatic, likeable and engaging character. As we discover more about him, we learn of the sad and painful parts of his backstory, of all the factors that encouraged him in his downfall to darkness, we see him do morally reprehensible things and criminal actions, but we also are given the somewhat understandable (in their twisted logic) justifications for these actions. We see him as a misguided lover, as a pained teenager, as a neglected child, as someone in despair for some sort of love, as the product of familial trauma and untreated mental unbalance coupled with the nefarious supernatural aura of the "Murder House" itself...

... but then comes the later reveals, and the later twists, and that's where we see who Tate Langdon truly is. That's when the viewer, and the characters around Tate, lose their sympathy and their pity for him as his own wicked ways and open hypocrisy come to the light. Spoilers alert for anyone who has not watched AHS still and wants to keep the reveals fresh but - we learn that he carefully and coldly raped the mother of the girl he was in love with, we learn that he always knew that he was dead and that he was a ghost - meaning not only he kept lying to his own family and to those that tried to help him, but also that many of his grand displays of tears and self-hatred (like the one he had in front of his own victims) were entirely fake and improvised. That's why Violet, despite loving him, has to reject him, and that's why Ben sternly chases him away: because by the end of the series, the audience is meant to understand that Tate is, indeed, a dangerous sociopath, a person who will emotionally manipulate people to get out of trouble or obtain what he wants, who will lie even to those he cherishes the most, and who - when he is forced to be honest - is cold and remorseless towards the vilest of his actions.

And the dangerosity of Tate, the black heart beating in his chest, is already indicated by the music theme chosen for him. The theme of Twisted Nerves, a movie precisely about a dangerous, psychotic, disturbed murderer who looks like a charming, angelic, innocent cherub of a man-boy. There was a deleted scene in the first season, during Tate's "dream sequence" of shooting the school, where he was supposed to see blood pouring down the staircases of his highschool in an homage to the elevators of blood in Kubrick's The Shining. It was ultimately removed (can still be found in the bonuses), but it would have driven another parallel to a different horror character: Jack Torance from The Shining. Another man seemingly compelled into doing horrible things and hurting those he love by ghosts within a cursed building... but Jack Torance clearly was disturbed and abusive before getting into the haunted hotel, something unhealthy lurking behind his seemingly nice and peaceful facade. The same way Tate's charm is meant to be a lure, and while ghosts did influence his crimes, they still just played on a darkness already there rather than planting some form of evilness inside of him.

[The first season of AHS also came out the same year as "We Need to Talk about Kevin", and the titular character of Kevin needs to be compared to Tate due to presenting both cases of dangerous teenage mass-murderers fueled in their motifs and actions by a toxic relationship with their mother.]

The first season of AHS is really NOT subtle in showing the viewer how evil Tate truly is, deep down. From his actions literaly leading to the birth of THE ANTICHRIST and a prophesized end of the world, to his final shot being side-by-side with Hayden in the darkness of the house. Hayden and Tate are meant to be parallels, disturbed and toxic lovers of the father and daughter of a same family, and the two threats to Vivien in different ways. If the show's subtle displays aren't enough for you, interviws with the showmakers and actors insisted on the fact that Hayden and Tate were "the two masterminds of the ghosts" inside the house - a sentence which did confuse the fans at the time, but that in retrospective makes sense.

Tate, and Hayden later, are the only two ghosts within the Murder House that are fully connected and knowledgeable about the inner workings of its dark power. They are not trapped reliving their life over and over again, they are aware that they are dead (though Tate pretends he is not), they even use quite "deep" ghost powers to assert a form of dominance above other entities (Tate being the most talented at this, as we see him for example use the Infantata as a weapon in the pilot episode)... They are disturbed and dangerous individuals, and by this fact they seem to enter into a strange symbiosis with the house itself and whatever dark force animates the building. The fact the House is implied to have literaly used Tate as its main tool, or "avatar", to perform its final goal of creating some sort of demon-baby, shows how deeply connected he is to the House's evil, how he seemes to have fully embraced it, how the darkness of the curse filled him or matched perfectly his own darknes...

And that's where things went wrong. Cut to American Horror Story: Apocalypse.

AHS Apocalypse is one of the bad seasons. It feels like a pastiche of itself, almost like a parody of AHS itself, especially since it attempts to recreate the world of its earlier seasons, but in a rushed way, with a lot of the original staff in charge of the visuals and set-building gone (see the video I shared earlier about the visual decline of AHS). "Apocalypse" was literaly first teased by Ryan Murphy as "Murder House and Coven crossover", breaking furthermore the original rule of AHS of not making direct sequels and always exploring different universes. What I want to highlight however is that "Apocalypse" was LITERALY a season designed to be fan-baiting, fan-service, fan-pleasing. It was a product made to be sold to the fans of AHS rather than being an actual AHS season.

And it was not made to be sold to any AHS fans, oh no! It was made to be sold to a very specific demographic. To the younger, teenage, mainly female, audience that got introduced to AHS with "Coven", a "younger" generation of AHS fan who most related and loved "Coven" and "Murder House", and were into the show for something similar - dark humor, witchy aesthetic, edgy teenage romance, angsty teenage drama... So many moments in Apocalypse screamed so hard "MEME ME! I'm a bitch-slaying line, MEME ME!" as opposed to the actual moments from Coven that became memed but still were written in-universe, in-character, and perfectly flowing with the narrative... "Apocalypse" was very clearly not made for the more mature audience that for example leaned more into "Asylum" and was more interested in the cinematic techniques, the homages to the horror cinema, a more serious horror, and the talent of famous actors.

And the handling of the Tate and Violet romance in "Apocalypse" showed so well how this season was made to please fans and feel like a fanfiction come to life. Because that's a fucking bad fanfiction, that even outrights contradicts the worldbuilding of earlier seasons or worse, twists it to fit in a forced happy ending that leads to absolutely toxic reading of earlier seasons. Because that's literaly what the "Murder House" episode of AHS was about - having a fan-favorite (Madison Montgomery) stroll into Murder House, literaly blow some sort of drug into the face of Violet, and offering a happy ending to her ghost as she reunites with a now all good and nice Tate (played by an Evan Peters a bit too old for the role now) and they become a wholesome couple... With the official explanation that all of Tate's evil was actually caused by the house's demonic forces possessing him, and it all went away into his baby, aka the Antichrist, so now he is good and pure and should be forgiven for everything. Farewell careful nuances and complex character portraits of the early seasons!

...

Why did they do that? The answer is so openly simple, so much in front of our eyes. To please the fans (or rather the specific type of fans) who have asked for this for so long and written years of fanfictions about this. Because Tate Langdon is still a sexy, dramatic, Romantic (in the historical sense of the term) lover, a lot of the teenage audience of AHS identified with Violet, Evan Peters was a male sex icon of his time, and a lot of young viewers took "Murder House" at face value and first-degree without any nuance. That Tate is a serial killer, a rapist and a sociopath only adds fuel to the fire, as Tate was also partially inspired by the Columbine shooters and we KNOW how many fangirls these two have. As a result, a true massive dissonance was formed between what the show told you (the final episodes of Murder House clearly showed you everyone rejecting Tate and him joining the only other character as disturbed and dangerous as him, Hayden) and what the fans saw (it's a tragic love story, and Violet is too mean, and the show just robs us of our deserved happy ending, and poor Tate is a little darling we need to cherish).

Most of them got introduced to the "Whistling Song" by AHS and think of it as just a cool song - they don't understand that it is meant to be a sound-clue and cultural-clue to the audience about Tate's true nature, the same way the reason Coppola's Dracula's opening theme is used for the flashbacks to the Montgomery times is to point out to the audience that a crime against God/nature is about to be committed out of despair, and that for this act against all things holy a monster is going to be born. These people sought and seeked a reading of the romance between Violet and Tate as just... 90's "Ghost" meets Romeo and Juliet. Completely missing the fact that Violet and Tate are a perverted version of the story of Romeo and Juliet.

AHS had already capitalized on the VioletXTate story, while making it more "positive" (as much as anything can be positive on AHS): with the Zoe and Kyle story. Interviews and commentaries by the writers and showmakers openly and frankly confirmed this: they said, repeatedly, that they wrote Zoe and Kyle purposefully to mirror and echo Violet and Tate. To bring back a similar chemistry between the two actors, so as to drag a bit something for those that loved Murder House, while also playing in a more straightforward way the "Romeo and Juliet" angle to their couple as more positive and *cough cough* "healthy" *cough* "star-crossed lovers" (Kyle even being qualified as a "Romeo" character). But these two were NOT Tate and Violet, so the bad fans (because I'm going to say it, they're bad fans) were not satisfied, and by the time of Apocalypse Ryan Murphy had started to go a bit morally bankrupt and so he decided to literaly give the fans what they asked even though it gave the counter-message to what Murder House stood for.

Just have a bit of dust spat in your face by a random stranger, and you'll see, you can go back with your emotionally manipulative boyfriend! The guy you like is a serial killer? Just have him make a baby with your mom and you'll have a happy ending!

And this little thing is just the TIP of the iceberg when it comes to a LOT, a LOT of problems related to Murphy productions. I could go on so many different directions from this single example, but I will just mention two. On one side, you see this later habit of AHS of justifying, glorifying, excusing or morally "washing" characters NOT SUPPOSED TO BE LIKED and who are meant to be pathetic monsters. Tate went from one of the main villains of Murder House to being a sort of wholesome side-characters? I see this a prefiguration of the HUGE huge fuck-up they did with the character of Richard Rimarize in 1984. Taking a real-life serial killer that had only very recently passed away, and depict him on screen as justified in his insane belief and disturbing modus operandi, by painting him as some sort of evil super-powered messiah, instead of just the repulsive killer and rapist and scum that he was? This is sick. Like puking sick. But it is one step away from romanticizing Tate, from an angelic-faced sociopath to an ideal Romeo-like teenager, with the difference being that by 1984 Murphy had started to think romanticizing or glorifying real-life monsters was a cool thing to do.

Or rather, to be fair, I do not think Ryan Murphy intended to glorify these real-life monsters. The feeling I have from watching his shows is that he is the kind of person who doesn't see where he should draws the line when making real-life events fiction, and who imposes himself no moral limit when it comes to using historical figures as tools for a narrative or characters for a drama. He thinks he can pick-up real-life monsters like Ramirez and play them around like a puppet in a puppet-show with no consequences. The glorification and romanticization of it all only comes later, as a side-effect of his carelessness.

Which comes to my second point: "Dahmer". His Dahmer show did the mistake of hiring Evan Peters as Dahmer, to play him right after "American Horror Story", where Peters' main job was to play the seducing face, the sympathetic character, or the evil but still pleasing murderer. Plus, it was on AHS that Peters got his main fanbase and the fangirls, and that's where he became a sex-icon of teenagers of the 2010s. So to have him under another Ryan Murphy production, quite connected to AHS (Dahmer also appears in AHS), and playing DAHMER himself... already that was a bad move. No matter how much you want to "focus on the victims" and show how much of a monster Dahmer was, if you deliberately chose an actor known to make monsters sympathetic and who has gathered a large fanbase who treat him as a male pin-up... You are bound to undermine yourself at best, to unveil your hypocrisy at worst. Because you should know people will not come to this show to watch the suffering of the victim - they will come to see Evan Peters as Dahmer, and to thirst over him cosplaying an actual serial killer and rapist.

And there are many more things to say about the many, MANY problems surrounding "Dahmer", and the treatment of historical characters in later seasons of AHS in general... But I think this post is already long enough as it is, so we'll leave it right there! Unlike AHS, I know at which point I need to stop.

[in-defense-of-the-horror]

American Horror Story Hotel: A Rant Continued

Yesterday I posted my thoughts on AHS: Roanoke, because it was terrible and all my anger was eating me up inside.  I thought that would be the end of it, but I was wrong.

@colonelcaribou was curious as to my thoughts on Hotel, and so I’m here to present you with more ranting about American Horror Story (something that I’m always more than happy to do, by the way.)

SPOILER WARNING: Like my last AHS rant, this is intended for people who have already seen the season in question, this time Hotel.

Let’s just go ahead and start this off with one of my favorite things; unpopular opinions. Hotel is actually my personal favorite season of American Horror Story. While I don’t think it’s as good as Murder House from a critical standpoint, the strengths from the season all play to my preferences whereas the weaknesses are issues that I seem to have with every season of the show - making it the most enjoyable for me to watch. That being said, it’s the only season (excluding Roanoke) that I’ve only seen one time, and I’m probably the least familiar with it.

While it is my favorite season - it’s far from perfect. Since this is a rant, I’m going to start by talking about the things that drove me crazy.

I think one of the aspects that bothered me most throughout the season was Chloë Sevigny’s portrayal of the grieving mother Alex Lowe. I can see where she was going with the role, the under-played emotions were meant to illustrate the detachment and depression that her character is experiencing (at least, that’s what I got out of it.) However, it led to me feeling like many parts of the story regarding her character were bland at best. The fact that the only real emotion I remember her distinctly expressing was anger (which was often misguided, misplaced, or exaggerated) tipped the scales toward me actively disliking her character. This was a big issue that I had with what was an otherwise great subplot.

Before I move away from the Lowe family too much, it’s also worth nothing that I took issue with some character design choices for the small son, Holden Lowe. This sounds like nitpicking, and maybe it is, but could they have made the kid any creepier? It would be one thing if that was part of the story all the way through - or if they had made him look more like a normal kid in the flashbacks at least, but I actually found it really distracting. With the long, wispy, white blond hair, the pale skin, and his mother’s vacant expression - this kid was legitimately the most terrifying part of the season in my opinion, and it kind of sucks that I don’t think it was intentional.

Now let’s talk about James Patrick March.

Don’t get me wrong, I thought he was an interesting character. His design was great, Evan Peters did a fantastic job playing him, but his name bothered me. It’s not the first time that American Horror Story has changed the name of a character or even a historical figure being portrayed on the show - and I can see why they wouldn’t want to flat out say that this character was H. H. Holmes. After all, the Hotel Cortez was an amalgamation of many different locations, and it wasn’t even located in the same state as the infamous “Murder Mansion” that Holmes built in Chicago. Using the name of the actual killer would have been spreading a wild amount of misinformation, and considering the amount of liberties they had to take with the character’s history, could have been seen as pretty insensitive. 

It makes sense that they would choose a new name for him and just use Holmes as inspiration (like they did with the Briarcliff Institute in Asylum) but there was one episode where it started bother me; Devil’s Night.  In a room with the spirits of the most notorious serial killers, the fact that H. H. Holmes had been replaced with James Patrick March meant that he obviously couldn’t be at the soiree, since he was, in a way, hosting it. It’s a small enough detail, but it’s one that got on my nerves while I was watching, and as I’m typing this out I realize it really stuck with me.

That small issue is also a great transition into Devil’s Night, which was my least favorite episode and, as far as I saw it, the worst part of the season.

Let’s say for a moment that I buy into the premise of serial killer ghosts having dinner together annually on the one night of the year where they have physical form on this plane (which for the record, I don’t.) Let’s also say that the ghost of not H. H. Holmes was somehow a mentor to all these serial killers from all over the country, and that somehow makes sense. The execution was still very flawed. The whole scene was over the top, the dialogue felt very forced, and what the fuck was going on with the Zodiac killer?

Like, okay, I get that we don’t have enough information to do an accurate depiction of the Zodiac killer, but I feel like there were a lot of better alternatives than to making him look like the world’s worst Monty Python and the Holy Grail cosplayer (did anyone else get that impression from his outfit, or was it just me?) Much like my issue with Roanoke where they failed to give me an answer to an actual, historical mystery that they decided to bring to screen, I feel like there were a lot of ways to go.

Zodiac could have been just a regular guy whose name wasn’t mentioned. Could have been a regular woman whose name wasn’t mentioned. They could have created a name (like they did with James Patrick March.) He could have been Ted Cruz - which would have been the best use of a meme on television. He could have, and this is crazy, not been there at all. I think that would have been my top choice, actually, because from what we do know of the Zodiac killer, what are the chances he would attend an event like that anyway? I feel like the most elegant solution to the dilemma would have been to have a place-setting at the table for him (with the symbol on it of course) and then to have slipped a line in there about how he never shows. 

There were some other issues throughout the season, but these are the ones that really stuck with me, and that I’m still thinking about a year after watching it. So, with all these complaints, you’re probably wondering why this is my favorite season. Unlike Roanoke, Hotel had a lot of redeemable moments and now I’m going to transition into some more positive ranting.

For one, the ambiance was great. The set was stunning, the cinematography was gorgeous, and hands down this was the season with the best sound track. (They got my favorite She Wants Revenge song AND my favorite Eagles song in the pilot, how awesome is that?)

There was an excellent use of body horror throughout the season, from the grisly killings committed to represent the ten commandments to the flashback where Sally sews herself to her friends. I think more than any other season the visuals really stuck with me.

While I have already brought up some problems I had with certain casting decisions - there were a lot of fantastic choices also made in that regard. I was surprised by just how talented Lady Gaga was in her role as The Countess, Kathy Bates continued to impressed, I think Sally was one of Sarah Paulson’s most intriguing and well-played characters. Let’s  also not forget about the amazing supporting cast in this season. While there were countless characters in the Hotel Cortez that were wonderful, I don’t think any of them stand out as much as Liz Taylor.

In addition to being beautifully designed, perfectly portrayed and having a fascinating backstory that contrasts with  the darker themes in the rest of the season, Liz Taylor was possibly the best instance of representation in the season - perhaps in the entire show. While the Countess also offers some LGBTQ representation, I was deeply moved by the mature way they dealt with having a transgender character recur throughout the season. 

They addressed Iris not being comfortable with Liz due to her own ignorance, and she was upfront about how she didn’t know how to ask. Liz, a strong woman confident in her identity is happy to set the record straight, even though it means sharing about a time in her life before she had that confidence. 

That flashback scene also shows The Countess in a softer light as she helps Liz embrace who she was meant to be and acknowledging her as a woman before the rest of the world did. She pushes Liz to come out as a woman, and when she sees that she’s pushing too hard, tones it down and suggests a smaller, more manageable step. Maybe she didn’t handle being an ally the best, but the fact that she realized she was trying to force someone to do too much too fast and backed down showed a side of her character that was unexpected, especially considering her unflinchingly dominant personality.

Where I thought Liz really shined though, was after that when she’s in bed with Tristan. Tristan is surprised that he’s fallen for Liz because “he’s not gay.” Liz is quick to assert her gender and set him straight. “You’re not gay for being with me. I’m a girl. I’m a hetero girl.”

There’s one last big thing that made me really appreciate this season, and that was the mythology. Those of you who have been following me awhile know that I am tougher on vampire stories than I am on just about anything else. It’s partially because I got burnt out on it, but I also feel like a lot of vampire mythology is poorly executed and overly romanticized. If I had known there would be vampires in the season, I might not have even wanted to watch it - but I’m so glad I did.

There are a lot of vampire romances in Hotel, but at the same time I feel like they weren’t glorified. At no point did I feel like the show was trying to sell me on the concept of eternal love through a vampyric virus. On the contrary I think it illustrates how the undead are in many ways lonelier than they ever were as humans. The relationships aren’t born out of romance, they’re born out of the lust that comes with the vitality of everlasting youth, and that’s how it was depicted. 

All in all I felt like this was a much more realistic take on vampires. They’re less idealistic and in a way the idea of vampires being more human is a lot scarier than the alternative. They’re not dangerous because they’re monsters, but rather because they have the same wants and needs that we all have, but amplified. Not only does it make the prospect of them existing more plausible, it makes the idea of becoming one much less appealing - which is exactly how it should be. 

The undead (the ghosts and vampires both) were glamorous, but that beauty was always matched with such clear suffering.

I have a lot more that I could probably say about the show, and about this season in particular, but this hits most of my big points about it. While it’s not perfect, there were a lot of things that made me enjoy the story. 

In fact, writing this up, I think I’ve talked myself into re-watching the season to see if it holds up.

[sapphicreports]

march 14th, 2021.

thinking about how sally mckenna is one of sarah paulson’s most underrated characters. like yeah, she’s a straight junkie, but the severity of her background trauma is just so heartbreaking that i actually feel for her. she definitely deserved better than what she got, all she wanted was for someone to love her, but of course, john lowe is clearly incapable of that so he left her to suffer.

my rants on sally could go on and on, but i’ll keep this short just for the sake of not pestering others and being a decent human being. might go on to larger rants later on if i feel like it. but yeah, sally deserved a lot better than what she received, she was played incredibly well by sarah paulson and she’s definitely one of my favorite characters.

[dino-squad-lover-01]

https://youtu.be/J-_okHpfC94

The new trailer for season ten for reference.

Let me just say about the new season, I'm interested in it it looks good. I'm glad they are brining back the alien plot because it was there in season two for like one episode and isn't in any other seasons. It was interesting and I'm excited to see what they're going to do with it.

With the double feature aspect I think ahs is going to solve one of the problems that plagued season six and on: not enough story for the amount of episodes. The ideas are there but there isn't enough content. Take season six for example, the first half was great I loved the horror documentary style of story telling, but once Matt and Shelby got out of the house and the story was done, there was nowhere for it to go. That's how we ended up with the actors and real people stay at the house during the blood moon. It wasn't good.

That's one of the main differences in quality. Murder House and Roanoke have very similar plots, family moves into haunted house. The main difference being murder house shows the story where as Roanoke tells the story thats where the lack of content comes into play and fails. The same thing happens consistently in the later seasons. Half way through the story ends and there isn't anything left to say.

So in short I guess I'm excited to see what the new season brings.

[hessafeelsfordayss]

You all have to remember that 1984 is still American Horror Story.

The same show where Tate - a fan favorite - raped Vivian, and was responsible for multiple characters deaths. The same show where Michael - another fan favorite - was the literal antichrist who killed pretty much the entire coven (save for a few), ate hearts, and was responsible for the apocalypse. That's all I can think of right now due to my mind being fuzzy, but I'm sure there are more examples. My point is no character in the AHS Universe is close to perfect. Every single character has their own flaws and darkness. That's what this show is known and loved for. The villain characters we just can't help but love.. The fucked up, creepy, themes.. The twists.. all of it. Even though it's set at a camp in 1984 with a lighter tone, it's still AHS.

[marilynroselleprentiss]

Weird.

this is definitely a rant so keep scrolling, pal.

it sucks when you can only write because you're feeling things so deeply and when you can only write based on your life experiences or your own fear.

but somehow that makes me feel a bit like Taylor.

yes. Taylor Swift.

a fic inspired by one of Taylor Swift's song from Lover album, 'I forgot that you existed' coming soon.

[emilyskinners]

james patrick march is such a little freak. he's committed many atrocities, and i can't help but be so enthralled by him, i wanna examine this man under a microscope

[banesbottombitch]

[Kicks open a door]

If AHS: Apocalypse is supposed to be set 2019~ish and revolve around the end of the times or in the very least, nuclear war, then how the actual fuck was Hotel’s (based in 2015) final moments set in the future where Scarlett Lowe is an older teen and the year is supposedly around 2022 if you check Marcy’s (the Real Estate agent from Murder House and Hotel) wikia page and read that as a ghost she has changed her personality over her time at the Cortez and by 2022 she had grown into a fairly evovled person.

If the Cortez is still standing and Bille Jean Howard is filming the same time as Scarlett is and older teen and Marcy’s character is developing over the years shes been inside the hotel, then it begs the question as to what the fuck kind of timeline the AHS world is dealing with.

Also- Michael’s aging is hardly linear if we agree that the body he is in as actually his own. Ryan even tweeted that he has his mothers hair and fathers eyes and it nails the description of the Michael we see on screen perfectly enough, so we can assume he is in his OWN body and not riding some random meat suit. In Murder House he came out of the womb at 5-6 months old as a full grown infant instead of a fetal mess which points to aggressive age progression in the very least- BUT, the season finale spaces three years ahead and he is shown to be an older toddler of about 3-4 years old physically.

It almost makes me wonder, if, in theory, he ages how he prefers to.

Hear me out;

A lot of scenes that involve Vivien and the twins she was carrying almost all revolve around Michael. He gives her nightmares about a clawed demon (which, good on him for showing his true colors ahead of time lmao) in her womb, a nurse has a mild heart attack after seeing Michael’s visage on the ultra sound, and as Viven is sitting on the tour bus for the Murder House tours she has a blot of spotting that lasts until she gets back to the house- showing that whatever is inside her is connected to the home and only feels safe once shes inside.

He kind of plays the game a bit too well. Pushing his birth giver to her limit, taking life from his twin, its mostly about his survival and what makes him comfortable. He is the catalyst for his mothers death, the hemorrhaging and early birth, the birth I’m sure he caused because he somehow knew and understood that the moment Vivien and the family left the house that he wont be returning to the Murder House ever again.

When we see the flash forward to three years, he is found by his grandmother Constance after he murdered and played in the blood of his caretaker. Before Constance finds him, she steps over and passes a jar of cookies, a box of popsicles and other treats. Treats a kid would want, things they would throw tantrums over and be upset if they weren't given. I’d take a pretty big step and argue that Michael kept himself at the age he was last seen as just so that he could get whatever he wanted from those around him without question.

Everyone wants to see a happy child, and Constance is no less eager to have her precious grandson beaming up at her and loving her. She would undoubtedly spoil him, as he would be her second chance at raising Tate, and this time, raising him right. She doesn't want her surrogate son to love her, and would supply to all his demands, and a cute little toddler is a good mold to use to pull and take what a demented little antichrist might like.

As for why he seems older now, I’d think that maybe there was an instance where Constance might have told him “No”. While im sure she would spoil him as much as she could, I’m sure there was a breaking point for her, a time where she was fed up with giving into everything he wants. The final foot being put down, that last straw that was to come. Maybe he had killed one too many nannies, or maybe she was tired of giving in to all his demands and wanted him to grow up a little- or, you know, maybe she was starting to realize “oh, well, thats right, I’m raising the literal Antichrist”.

From there I think he would have aged, or at least progressed enough to be an adult and have his own authority and to be in complete control without question.

Thats just a half assed theory though, but its all I can guess if the timeline is anything to go off of and why Michael Langdon is walking around looking like a twenty something who got lost in the vampire-romance section of barnes and noble.

[youre-where-i-wanna-go]

?????? just say you're biphobic and go like literally wtf kind of "opinion" is this?

like what do bisexuals need to do to be seen as "real" bisexuals? deny they're gay apparently since that's all tristan did but when they 1. have relationships with people of the same and other genders, 2. sleep and make out with people of the same and other genders, and of course 3. straight-up announce they're bisexual, those things obviously aren't believable, they don't "feel" bi lmfaoo right

there's a lot to be critiqued about the way bisexual representation was handled in this season, considering it's the only season of this show that has obvious and consistant bi+ representation (that one throwaway line in the last episode of 1984 is not what i would call consistent) but that doesn't make the bi characters any less bi.

just imagining the possible "justifications" you have for erasing the other characters' bisexuality makes me mad as hell so i'm gonna stop myself right here

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Your meta about Twilight have me convinced that, written by anyone else, it's not a romance-- it's a horror story.

So now I'm wondering, if instead of being by Stephanie Meyer, Twilight was written by someone like Stephen King? In a horror book with the same core plot and the same blurb on the back, what's the scene everyone remembers- the equivalent to the scenes everyone remembers in The Shining, IT, or Carrie? (Or whatever horror author and work you're more familiar with, you get the idea)

There's just so many good horror scenes, and I really want your take, but like as I write this ask I just want to appreciate the ending a bit:

After she almost dies, after the venom is sucked out, smash cut to Bella the surviving heroine. The horror is over, safe back in Forks. Except the reader gets this sinking feeling. We slowly realize, no, she didn't avoid the bad ending. She's not running from it. She's choosing it, unaware of what it's actually going to cost her and how little she's getting in return. Even as a human, Bella has become the monster that will kill her in the end... setting us up perfectly for new moon where actually she kind of is the villain.

I guess I'm asking what one scene from spooky!Twilight would stick in your memory years laters, and how is it written differently to emphasize the horror?

(And if you're having fun with this, what scene for the other books)

Interesting question.

Of course, you nearly inspired an entirely too long rant between the differences of Stephen King's novel The Shining and Stanley Kubrick's film adaptation, but no one wants to sit through that.

With that though, I think we have to take a few steps back.

Stephen King Wouldn't Write Twilight

First, he's done a vampire novel, Salem's Lot, which has a similar enough premise that he probably wouldn't do a Twilight style version.

Salem's Lot is also set in a very small, insular, American town. The events take place only within the town and most of the townsfolk never cotton on to what's happening. There are a select few knowledgeable insiders who then get dealt with.

It's much more Dracula in its inspiration than Twilight, in that we have a very similar subplot to the Lucy subplot where the town slowly starts being victimized by the vampires, no one believes the protagonist except a select few who then disappear from the story, and we slowly get the reveal of the demonic monstrosity that are the vampires.

But it's similar in that it's King's "Give me a modern, small, town with vampires".

But it's more than that.

What's the core plot of Twilight that we're keeping and the blurb on the back per the ask?

The core plot is that Bella moves to this small rural town, realizes there's something strange going on with her classmates, falls in love with Edward and loves him despite him being a distinct risk to her, is hunted by other vampires, and then the story ends after James has been destroyed.

The trouble with Twilight alone is that we have no resolution and no real consequences. Twilight really is just a book that sets the stage for the follow-on books, which works if you're writing YA romance novels, not so much if you want a horror novel.

Bella's fate is undecided as of the end of the novel, her parents are still ignorant as well as alive and well, nothing terrible has happened to any of the characters we've met so far including the NPCs, the Cullens so far seem to be everything they've claimed to be including Edward who for all his talk hasn't done anything.

Compare that to, say, the plot of Carrie. The important thing about Carrie is that we get the Prom. Everything leads up to Prom, we see everything build towards it and no something terrible is going to happen, and then it does.

You can't have Carrie, as a singular novel, end at the moment she opens the door to her surprise date so she can go to Prom.

Similarly, you can't have The Shining end only when they realize that maybe this hotel is filled with malevolent psychic energy, and it might do something.

It's not a horror story unless you see when things go very bad.

He'd probably also add in a lot more of the typical Stephen King tropes that I won't comment on because this isn't the post for "weird shit Stephen King puts in his books sometimes".

Okay, So What Would Stephen King Do?

Honestly, I imagine Charlie would become our main character.

Small town divorced cop estranged from his wife and daughter, whose daughter suddenly decides to live with him (whose new stepfather may or may not be abusive) and is a total mess he doesn't know how to relate to, has the background on the Cullens and yeah they're weird but they seem so nice, as well as the even more local guy in his best friend Billy who says, "dead isn't better, Charlie, don't bury your pets in the cemetery", and life gets progressively worse and weirder as his daughter begins dating what is slowly revealed to be an abusive inhuman creep.

Add on a little former alcoholism and Charlie Swan gets the Stephen King protagonist stamp of approval.

Bella's nice and all, but she's what's lost in the series and gives the impression that she has agency. Charlie is the one who is ignorant, who tries to stop it, and only realizes too late that he moved too slowly, ignored the wrong people, and made all the wrong choices.

And we'd get the entire four novels packed into one with it starting with Bella's arrival and ending with her having been turned and having a daughter niece.

You Didn't Answer the Question

Alright, alright, fine.

I'd say the moment Charlie meets Bella after she's been turned and realizes that this isn't his daughter anymore and that he has to pretend for the rest of his life that it still is.

Of course, this requires being from Charlie's point of view, but honestly, he's the better character for it.

Bella's over there in Breaking Dawn living her best life at this point.

In Twilight itself? The meadow. Midnight Sun is its own spectacle, but the meadow even from Bella's point of view is fucking bizarre and mildly terrifying. You have Edward purposefully, just for a moment, showing what he really is to terrify her, then backing off in terror that he might lose her.

That said, the trouble is Bella as our narrator. What happens is disturbing, but Bella's so teenage in love that she doesn't care or even notice it. She has set up circumstances so that Edward will be able to get away with her murder, let him know it, and watched him rage about how easy it would be for him to kill her now. And she's having a great time.

Basically, if you want this to be a real horror novel, it can't be from Bella's point of view. Otherwise, we have Twilight.

[mint-yooxgi]

have any headcanons for if y/n tried to escape the hotel , also headcanons for what do they do around the hotel on a daily basis? so they all just watch y/b do whatever she does and thirst after her like at the pool ( i love ur writing)

So, how I picture it going if you tried to leave the hotel is that as soon as you stepped through the doors to leave, you'd immediately loop back inside, as if you were stepping into the lobby again (if you ended up getting that far that is lol)

Usually one, if not all of the guys will stop you from escaping simply by appearing in front of you or blocking your path

It is amusing, though, to see your face after the first few times you try and run out the doors only to run straight back into the lobby (Essentially like a looping entrance, like in American Horror Story when Violet tries to leave the house only to run straight back through the back door after stepping foot outside the front door)

You're in their domain now where they control reality, so you can really only 'leave' if and when they say so, or if they decide to take you out someplace

On the plus side, the Hotel has turned into more of a giant mansion with a bunch of different activity rooms to keep you entertained

They've got a full ass library and they stock it with all your favourite books, with new ones appearing when they need them

There's also a cinema room, a game room, and an arcade

You're bored and want interaction with something or someone? Oh, well, surprise, there's a room full of puppies to cuddle with or a cat café style room that's just appeared

You want a room full of pillows to just sink into and relax? It's yours, all you have to do is ask! (Or simply think about it and they'd surprise you with it)

Leads to some very interesting conversations mainly surrounding you saying 'stop reading my mind' while trying not to be mildly impressed by both their powers and their audacity

Should you be thankful? It's hard not to be, even if only slightly. They do take good care of you

On that note, if you do need to go out and actually get some human interaction, they are willing to take you out on some conditions

One: the moment you even think of mentioning your situation to another person they're transporting you right back to their domain, not that anyone would believe you

Two: no flirting with other people, even just to piss them off. You've learned the hard way what their jealousy can entail, and even if they would never lay a hand on you, that doesn't mean other people aren't fair game. They are demonic entities, after all

Three: if you try and run or escape, they will immediately find you and drag your ass back to their domain, threats about them reconsidering letting you back into the real world at all if you misbehave

Four: you have to let them spoil you if they so desire. You show a hint of even liking something, it's yours. Oh, that necklace that caught your eye, even if only briefly? They're fighting over who gets to gift it to you. You look at a display for some giant oversized stuffed animal for a little too long? Cue one of them walking around the area you're in with it in their arms now.

They go a bit overboard at first with the extravagance of their purchases and gifts, but if you really didn't want them to then they'd tone it down. Especially if that wasn't the way to your heart

Oh yeah, and each of them usually does something in particular for you, like San cooks (though the others try at times, and yes, Mingi did almost succeed at burning down the kitchen again, but it's the thought that counts, right?), Seonghwa usually helps with your clothes and/or outfits if you need it, though he's usually the one gifting you different garments to wear, Hongjoong offers to do your makeup and/or hair (if that's the case) a lot, Jongho will always listen to you rant about books or something (maybe even just sit and read with you), Mingi makes you any type of drink that you want and will drink with you if you so desire (he'll mainly just sit with you anyways to keep you company), Yunho always tries to cheer you up and make you laugh if he can (it's worked more often than not and he couldn't be happier), Wooyoung will play games with you (anything you want, and he's still impressed you beat him at eight ball, and Mario kart), and Yeosang literally will bend over backwards to get you anything and everything you need (You want ice cream in the middle of the night, he's already there with your favourite flavour and a spoon before the others can even react. You need a prescription refilled or something, he's got you covered. If you get periods, he's on top of if you need new pads or something)

If you ever get curious about them or their lives, they're more than happy to share any and every detail with you - they're just happy you're asking about them and wanting to get to know them better

Also leads to some pretty deep conversations when you are willing to talk to them - they're all really intelligent so your conversations are really stimulating, and can get pretty lengthy at times when you do talk to them

Of course, they're not always around at the same since they are demons - they do have jobs and they do need to feed on something other than human food once in awhile...