#legit kinda wanna make a playlist for them

[miltonbarbie]

What does Stan's friend group love about you? (Sp x F!y/n) </3

Warning(s): Slight NSFW

Reader is Female, and in these scenario you and your dp (Desired person, for example: Kyle) are already in an established relationship.

</3

Stan🎧💙 :

Dude loves any form of affection you give him, whether it be quick kisses to long, warm hugs, he feels like he'll throw up any second.

He wishes he could call you pet names but he's gonna get sick in the stomach REAL fast.

he also makes playlists of songs that remind him of you and sends them to you + puts them visible on his Spotify account

he doesn't show any clingy-ness or PDA around his friends bc cartman's such an ass and he'll get teased for days, but in private all he wants to do is cuddle w/ you and watch a Christmas movie together

loves loves loves when you mindlessly copy his actions, he think its soso cute. Like for example if he does a secret handshake with one of his friends and catches you trying to make one with yours, he's gonna die of how adorable it is.

He likes to go skating with you, if you don't know how to skate he'll gladly teach you

Get's hard whenever he sees you in a skirt 🙏🙏

Whenever he texts you and you send him pictures of yourself being all cute n' shii, his eyes widen and he automatically saves them to his camera roll with a sly grin on his face.

bro thinks he's mf swiper with his devious ass

he gets realllll horny whenever you sit with your legs crossed on a desk/table, or when you twirl your hair and make eye contact while talking to him. my guy's gonna be walking around with a huge boner the whole day in pain until you relieve him.

Kyle 🎮💚:

He tries extremely hard not to get flustered whenever you hug him from behind

Especially when you compliment his hair and play with it/start flirting with him while you do it. ITS JUST SO ENLKBVJVBENKJJ FOR HIM HE GOES WILD

"Kyle baby, you look so cute with your hair out like that .." "I- h-hah .. T-thank you .." Then he legit MELTS INTO YOUR TOUCH HE'S SO DESPERATE

he wants to act all tough and whatnot 4 you but you make him so vulnerable

what makes him hard as a fucking rock is when he's sitting down on his chair and you bend over towards him with your titties on the desk, arms crossed. HANDS DOWN CATCHES HIM OFF GUARD SO QUICKLY HIS EYES DART STRAIGHT TOWARDS YOUR TITS 😔😔

He lovesss seeing you wear his hoodies, something about it is just.. makes him feel some sort of way..

he gets really excited whenever you ask him to tutor you, it means you two get to spend more time together

If someone insults you he's gonna get MADD ANGRY

Like his anger issues will not allow someone to disrespect you like that.

he's always at your beck and call, if you need him, he's there.

Send him a bikini pic and he's gonna have a seizure.

"SHIT Y/N IM WITH MY FRIENDS WHAT IF THEY SEE IT?!??1!?!?!/11/1/ FUCK WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME AMEOIDOAEINAMSLKN"

STUDY DATES ARE HIS FAVOURITE BUT ALSO GOING OUT TO CAFE'S >>>>>>>>>>

He gets really blushy and nervous whenever your showing him so much affection to towards him infront of his friends, but he secretly likes it, he just doesnt wanna seem like a baby.

Whenever you get better grades than him he either celebrates for days or cries in a corner for hours. There's no in between.

Kyle is honestly so overprotective like if he sees a guy staring at you hes gonna straight up smack their face with a stack of graded homework assignments.

He jealousssss 🤭 he HATESSS admitting it though hes so whiny abt it too.

"Y/nn, I'm not jealousss babeee shutt uppp-uh 😠😠" Like a frickin 10 year old, LMFAO WHY DO I ACTUALLY IMAGINE HIM SAYING THAT THOUGH

Kenny 🏠🧡:

Lovesss showing/giving PDA doesn't matter where you are or who you're with

Bro is soso touch-starved its insane

He holds you by the waist while he leans in for a kiss, he low-key smells like cigarettes and car gas but I'm kinda into it ngl 🤷‍♀️

Whenever he gets touchy, it's not always going to be sexual but this man has some pretty horny thoughts but you cant blame him

Hes so whiny and wants you to touch him REALLY BADLY.

"Y/nn please please please I love you so much please just this once oh my God please your so hot I'm gonna suffocate I love you just this once please please PLEASEEEEEE-" "Kenny omg calm down wtf-"

His weak spot is seeing you in clothes that bring out your figure, I mean, girls look better in a real tight sweater ifkwim 😋

The only time he will EVER be the submissive one during sex is when hes balling his eyes out about something that's happened at home, or when he's high on sumthin'

If he's going to see you, he sometimes brings karen with him because he loves the little relationship you two got going on, also his parents are always arguing so it'd be a huge relief for both Karen AND Kenny.

Send him ONE picture and he'll be begging on his knees for more

"MOMMY SORRY MOMMY SORRY- OH GOD SEND MORE- I NEED- creams aggressively YOUR A FUCKING GODDESS OH LORD HAVE MERCY GOAWDH DAYHUYHM 😍😍"

It's a big bonus if you come from a wealthy or rich family cause then you can spoil Kenny and his siblings rotten like how they deserve 😔💞

Please treat karen well she really looks up to you, your like her idol and shes def your #1 fan, she'll always be talking about you and how amazing and thoughtful and pretty you are ITS JUST SO AAAAAAA KAREN IS SO CUTEEE 😖

Kenny doesn't have much but he'll try to save up ENOUGH money to get you something nice like a headband or some nail polish 😚

He's trying.

He just wants you to be happy with him.

Please get married.

Cartman 🍗❤️:

Oh no.

When people started finding out that Cartman had feelings for the one and only, Y/n, they felt so sorry and started giving u random things and being oddly kind around you.

You were like: ???

If he sees a guy flirting or talking to you, he's gonna lower their self esteem to the MAX.

Like he'll be soso rude abt it too

"What kind of dumb fuck like you would get any girls? You got to be kidding me, your dumber than Kahl."

Once you started dating him, man everyone in the school was either shocked, no- not shocked, literally flat-out concerned for your well-being.

Cartman, REEAAAALLLYYYY .. ?

He always wants your attention, even when your busy doing something he'll be texting you at the most randomest times saying "I'm coming over", and shows up at your door in less than 2 minutes.

If you give him a hug or a kiss in public, he'll be acting all tough and start bragging to his friends. But once he's alone, he'll start giggling and twirling around like a fangirl (😨)

He has so many bad pictures of you on his camera roll but it takes all of your convincing skills to tell him: DONT. POST. THE PICTURES.

He doesn't wanna participate in any tiktok couple challenges bc he thinks their stupid. Buttt unless you offer Kyle to do it then he's def gonna cave in 🤭.

He's such a toddler too

He'll secretly want to be the little spoon often but if you offer him his face starts looking like a whole-ass sunburn with an offended look on his face

"AHEM? No we are NAWT doing that. You? Cuddling ME? No no no, its supposed to be the other way around, "Y/n" 🙄"

He'd diss your music taste and then you'll catch him twerking to your favorite song

He just like that y'know?

[tinywitchgoblin]

Hey wassup, I’m delusional (and insane) and I saw your past posts, so which bad batch member would you ship me with?

Im Hispanic (Dunno if that’s important lol). Brown curly hair and brown eyes. Tan skin but I have low iron so I kinda look pale but not too pale. I got two little moles on my chin that I’m insecure about but sometimes I’m confident about them. I’m 5’5. I struggle with anxiety but I’m coping with my depression, I occasionally have really bad depressive episodes. I’m bipolar. Sometimes I act so confident in myself and other times I get insecure and try to hide my stomach.

Some things about me is that I love to write and make poetic shit, like I will sound like a insane hopeless romantic. I like to use cheesy pick up lines when I get comfortable enough. Music is my life and savior. Will legit make a whole playlist or CD dedicated to someone. I LOVE to dance to literally anything, usually if I try to get someone to dance with me is because I just wanna have fun with someone and be able to laugh and feel alive. Dancing is just a way to express myself and have someone alongside me. I love painting, cooking and reading. I adore romantic poetry. My friends consider me as the mom of the group. I’m loyal and I’ll always put other before me ( it’s a curse). If you need anything, honey I’m right here like a genie. I hopelessly devote myself to others. I LOVE taking care of others though, maybe it’s because that’s what I’ve been doing for majority of my life.

I Love cinema. Like deeply love cinema. I’m always up for a night or day full of movies and shows and being lazy on the couch or bed. My definition of Netflix and chill is to literally Netflix and chill, we are watching movies only! Will use quotes from movies on a daily basis and expect someone to get it and finish the quote. Kind of a introverted but I can be social if I know enough people in one space. I’m always up for adventure and thrill in life, like wanna go on a roller coaster? Heck yeah. Wanna dance? Aint gotta ask me twice. Try new things? Might be nervous but I’m up for it.

My standards for love and a relationship can be described as Melanie Martínez’s song High School Sweethearts.

Alright that’s it. Thank you and have a blessed day! <3

Thanks, you too 💚

I ship you with...

Wrecker!

You'd actually met Omega first, but once she introduced you to her brother Wrecker, the two of you were inseparable. You would write him love letters and make playlists for him, and he would shower you with compliments and support you in every aspect of your life. Once, he tried to write you a romantic poem back because he loved the ones you gave him, but it... didn't go as well as he wanted. When you asked him about it, he told you he wanted to make you feel the happiness he got when you gave him a poem or a playlist, but nothing was working. You reassured him that you felt his love in other ways, that his love was as unique as him.

One of Wrecker's many love languages is quality time, and he wants to spend it all with you. Sometiems you'll end up in the kitchen, attempting a new recipe (or maybe just dancing while some pasta is boiling away in the background). Other times, you're just relaxing on the couch, watching something on Netflix. If you're into it, he'll pull you into his lap and keep you close especially if you're watching a horror movie. Both you and he get super frustrated when Hunter has to drag Wrecker away because he needs help with something, but there's always the promise of hanging out again later.

Wrecker doesn't know much about mental illnesses in the clinical sense like Tech does, but he's really good at not only telling when you're not feeling well, but sussing out what the underlying issue is. He's very in touch with emotions (both his and yours), so he's usually able to tell if you're anxious, depressed, insecure, or any of the above. Wrecker doesn't like seeing you in any type of pain, so he will do anything he can to make you feel better. He'll sit with you, talk with you, make you some good, make sure you take your meds and/or get appointments scheduled (if applicable), etc. He isn't someone who does things halfway, and that includes loving you; making sure you feel your best is only a small fraction of that.

-

Thanks for reading! If you want a ship request like this one, drop it in my ask box, and don't forget to reblog 💚 it may take a little bit, but I'll get to it eventually!

[moemammon]

You are not Beyoncé but you're singing your heart out when you think you're home alone.

(Featuring the demon brothers and GN!MC)

For once, you had the house to yourself! Was this a miracle?? Were the heavens finally smiling down on you from above? Was this the result of all your good karma??? Whatever it was, you were almost certain that you were alone for once.

And what did that mean? Time for a good ol' fashion jam session. You put on your favorite tunes and set them to blast through the speaker of your D.D.D. while you danced around the house, singing your heart out. Who cared if some of your notes were flat, or if you had to drop a few pitches to hit those high notes?

Not you. You were just living your best life without a care in the world.

Until...

Lucifer

Of course the eldest would be around. Arguably the most mysterious and omnipotent brother in the house, so yeah. He's there.

He told you this morning that he’d have a meeting to attend after classes today. You thought he’d be out for a long while, but it just so happened that the meeting ended early today, much to his relief.

Not to yours though, because that means that Lucifer has front row seats to your amazing concert without your permission.

He didn't even have the courtesy to make himself known! He just waited in the kitchen, quietly preparing his coffee while your singing echoed through the halls.

You were sauntering your way to the kitchen as well, fumbling over forgotten lyrics without a care in the world, when you saw him.

Enemy spotted.

Does this mean he heard every single time your voice cracked-

Your eyes lock and Lucifer doesn't even mention what you were just doing, despite the obviously being within earshot of you.

You really start feeling the heat rising in your cheeks when he says "You seem to be in a good mood. Did something good happen to you at RAD today?"

Regardless of how you respond (or not), Lucifer turns his back to you to tidy up, and says "....I don't believe I've ever heard your singing before. You'll have to give me an encore in my office some time."

You swear you can hear the mischief in his tone....

Mammon

This seriously was unheard of. An afternoon without having mammon glued to your hip?? Hell must've frozen over or something.

Regardless, you weren't going to take this for granted! Mammon did mention something about a 'foolproof money making scheme' he had a dream about last night, so he was probably off trying to see if he could make it a reality.

Things like this usually took a huge chunk of greedy boy's afternoon, so you figured you were safe to sing as you pleased!

Besides, he probably would've texted you if he were on the way home, right?

Apparently not, because Mammon was very much home, and did not send you a text. Honestly? He forgot to. He was too busy wallowing in self pity.

How was he supposed to know that using magic to duplicate grim was illegal??

He managed to escape any real trouble and made his way back home, only to have his ears immediately blessed (or assaulted) by your singing.

He's not the type to sit around in secret until you notice him, so catch this boy marching around the house until he finds you himself. Not so quietly calling out your name the entire time, too.

Mammon caught you in the empty library singing your heart out. The acoustics were great in there! They also kinda drowned out the outside noise, so you couldn't really hear him yelling for you.

"Oh, I thought you were screamin' about a bug or something. What song is that?"

He's not shy about singing in the shower at the top of his lungs, so it's not like he's judging you?? But he's got his phone out when you spot him. The bastard is recording you...

So your knee jerk reaction is to attack

"Wh- Oi!! What're ya hitting me for?! I don't care if it's just a pillow- Hey!"

He has chosen death. Goodbye Mammon.

Leviathan

It was kind of bold of you to assume that Levi would ever be out of the house, but he DID mention something about a concert he wanted to attend..? Or some kind of book signing?

You don't really remember, and you don't have the mental strength to scroll through the sea of spam texts he's sent you today.

C'est la vie.

Since you're pretty sure you're alone, you're not taking your solo concert all around the house of lamentation, from the foyer to the west wing, up to the attic and down to the dining room.

Gotta find the perfect spot to sing this next part. It's got a really good bit with a flute, and you wanna stare longingly out of a window or something-

And it's when you pass by otaku man's room that he decides to make himself known by poking his head out. His headset is around his neck and his hair's a little tousled, hinting that he was in the middle of gaming.

You freeze. Neither of you can look the other in the eye.

It takes a while before the silence can be broken, but before you can say a word, Levi speaks.

"Y-You know... you should come to karaoke with me! Only if you want to, I mean! I didn't know you were a fan of singing, so... but you probably have other plans, right? You don't want to hang out with a gross otaku like me blah blah blah-"

You aren't sure if your brain is malfunctioning from being caught in the act, or from the word vomit spilling from everyone's favorite weeb.

Satan

Satan is a good, studious boy so you assumed he was staying after class to head to the library. He was lagging behind, so you didn't question it.

Or maybe he was planning his next prank? Lucifer did have to make an announcement tomorrow morning in front of the student body, and Satan had been awfully interested in glitter bombs lately...

Whatever the case, he wasn't home right now! Or so you thought.

You were busy switching between two different choruses AND a sick guitar riff all in one song, so there was no time to be thinking about the demon's whereabouts.

You did wonder where you left your bag at, though. You vaguely recalled dumping it at the front door, so maybe that's where it was?

Scooting your way down the hall like a music powered locomotive, you were right in the middle of imitating the sound of drums when you spotted the trembling grin plastered to Satan's face.

Hm.

Maybe you could ask Diavolo about sending you back to the human world right now.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were here, or I would've said something." Satan tells you, clearing his throat to further suppress his laughter. From the way his shoulders are shaking, he was barely holding on.

"I didn't think you were the type to like songs like that. Do you have a playlist you could recommend me? I'm interested after seeing how much you enjoy it."

That cheeky grin of his never breaks for a second, so you can't tell if he's actually asking for recommendations, or if he's watching for your reaction.

Asmo

Not a surprise that you assumed he wasn't home, since he rarely is. He's always out partying or shopping around, so you usually don't see him much around this time.

But that also means you're free to sing as loudly as you want! Look out Mariah Carey, there's a new high note singer in town.

Asmo can vouch for that! Because he can hear you. Clearly.

Okay but he's one of those people that joins in while you're singing.

Legit the moment he goes inside and recognizes your song, he's trying to serenade you from the other side of the house.

And boy do you hear him. This man can SING (as expected of a fallen angel), and he likes to sing loudly. He wants all eyes on him after all!

And maybe you'll be so smitten by his angelic voice that you'll come running into his arms and beg that he takes you right then and there!

Wishful thinking though, because that is not how you reacted. Boo...

He finds you, and wants to know what you think of his voice. "Well? My singing was beautiful, wasn't it~? I used to sing all the time up in the celestial realm! I don't mind giving you some private lessons back in my room~"

Was he implying that you needed lessons? Maybe... but he's a sweetheart about it so can you really be mad at him?

Beel

A crepe cart recently opened up for a limited time, and there was no way Beel was going to miss that. And knowing him, he wouldn't come home until there were no traces of food left in sight.

So you figured you'd have plenty of time to brush up on your sea shanties! Bold of you to assume...

Beel can inhale a billion times his weight in food in like, five minutes. What made you think he wouldn't be back home by now?

He was full for a good ten minutes (a new record!) and spent that time in his bedroom, hence why you didn't hear his usual rummaging through the kitchen for food.

Speaking of food, you were feeling kind of hungry yourself! And a little parched from all the singing, so a snack break couldn't hurt!

You slid on your socks along the hardwood floor all the way to the kitchen... where you nearly slammed into Beel. There he was, the mad lad himself.

He was also on the way to the kitchen. Surprise surprise, right? And he managed to catch you by the shoulders before you could slide into anything.

Beel is the least phased by your singing. He just thinks it's nice that you were comfortable enough to sing so loudly! Good to see that you're enjoying yourself.

He doesn't exactly address it? Instead he moves his hand forward to place something into yours.

It's a crepe that he saved, just for you! You stare at the delicate pastry, all topped with layers of fluffy whipped cream, strawberries and blueberries, and lovingly drizzled with chocolate sauce! There's a bite taken out of the side, though-

"I tried my best to hold back, but I took a bite. Sorry..."

How can you be mad at him?? You're not even embarrassed about the singing anymore tbh. Too full of love to care 💕💕

Belphie

When,,,, was Belphie ever not home,, like,,,,

This man has never seen a classroom in his life, so it's not like you could've expected him to be at RAD.

And he wasn't usually in town?? Definitely a homebody.

But Beel wanted someone to go with him to that crepe cart, and Belphie couldn't exactly turn his dear brother down when he gave him those big baby eyes-

And since Beel wasn't home, you figured Belphie was still out, too!

Spoiler alert: you thought wrong.

Belphie was home, and now wide awake thanks to your banshee screams singing. He managed to slip away from Beel when he got too tired. He didn't really want a crepe anyway, so he decided to head back.

Only to be rudely awaken... how dare you...

He's hellbent on finding you, JUST so he can get you to shush. Please.. let him rest his weary bones...

When he does locate you, you have your back turned to him and your music on max volume, occupying yourself with grabbing your clean laundry to take back to your room.

He doesn't speak, instead choosing to watch you shimmy around to the beat of your song. And when you do a little spin, you turn right around to face him and get to witness the sheer amusement on his face.

He's NOT letting your forget about this moment. And you can't escape him either, he won't let you.

The bastard corners you just to repeatedly ask "Hey, what were you singing? I haven't heard that one in a while. Mind singing it again for me?"

"With a voice like that, I'm afraid to ask you to sing me a lullaby."

"...Just kidding. Your face is really red right now, you know?"

You feel the sudden urge to stuff him into the dryer, but you resist.

The urge grows stronger when he imitates the little dance you were doing.

[thefanficmonster]

You Never Notice

Sykkuno x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: The center of someone’s world is never aware of their importance even when everyone else is in the know. People are hard to understand, no denying, but if we all spilled our truth like how Y/N admitted her feelings to Sykkuno, mutual understanding would be achieved a lot more easily. JK, she needed an eternity and maybe a thousand pushes. What’s important is the result though, right?

Requested by Anon. You are my first Sykkuno request and I wish I could thank you with a tag. Instead, I’m gonna thank you with a fic in which I put my all. Thank you for the request, hope the final product doesn’t let you down. 🥰

Here we go again. Sykkuno’s love life is brought up. This time it’s more frustrating cause I can’t shout how wrong he is about himself and the effect he has on the people around him. He has no room to speak, he hasn’t experienced what I have - one of your best friends living in your head rent-free because you’re just that whipped by them. That’s right kids, some of us never grow past the middle school crushes - they are a constant for some. That can be a good or a bad thing, it completely depends on how you view it.

Currently, him and Rae are addressing some dating rumors that started spreading about them earlier this week while Felix, Sean and I are kicking each other’s butts in Party Animals. We’re not all playing together, actually, we were all playing different games when we hopped into the call and just grouped together after playing solo got boring. Rae and Sykkuno are playing Among Us on a random server, her being the only person who’s streaming right now. She said she just wanted to clear up the dating rumors cause they were annoying to see popping up on her feed on every social media platform she’s active on.

“It’s ridiculous, really. People just look for online personalities to put in imaginary relationships. Are they that bored? I know quarantine is getting to everyone, but damn“ Rae says, laughing a bit to take the edge off her words but I know she’s bothered by this ordeal more than she’s letting on. I know how much it bothers her when people ship random youtubers and streamers together, even when she’s not involved. 

And I agree. Ever since I started streaming I’ve been shipped with my friends left and right. First Corpse, then Dave, Joel...you name them. It gets kinda gross cause these people are legit like siblings to me. Unlike Rae, though, I don’t waste my breath trying to clear those ‘talks of the net’ up. I don’t know if it’s for better of for worse that I remain silent on the issue when I’m involved but am willing to stand up for my friends when they find themselves in a similar situation. Some people think the reason I don’t share my thoughts is because the rumors are true, but the hint is most often taken, resulting in the ship ending. Well, that ship ending, there’s always a new one popping up. As Rae said, it’s ridiculous.

“Why does everyone think I am ever dating anyone? I’ve already commented on this: no one would date me.“ Sykkuno says through a sigh-like laugh.

“Why are you so sure?“ I blurt out without as much as a second thought

My eyes widen just a bit, just a bit. I’m not too surprised with myself. I am slowly losing control of my raging emotions and I’m afraid of what I’ll turn into when all my restraints snap. A mess, that’s the most likely answer.

“Well....“ Sykkuno trails off, clearly more than a little nervous, “I don’t have a girlfriend right now, and I haven’t had one in a while...Nor has a girl shown any interest to be more than friends with me in what feels like forever.“

“I’m sure you just don’t notice the hints girls drop. We can be pretty subtle.“ I try to sound as nonchalant as possible while I’m still in my panicked animal mode. And by animal I mean a cub. A scared cub that is now showing confidence but will run and hide right afterwards. I silently thank the universe that I’m not streaming right now. I can feel the heat on my neck and cheeks which is pure embarrassment and would have been more than evident on-camera.

“Yeah Y/N’s right, Sykkuno. Girls can be very subtle, but they will always let you know if they like you, even through the smallest of gestures. You gotta keep your eyes open.“ Rae backs me up reassuringly.

“Guys never notice anything.“ I say, rolling my eyes. I feel the pressure lessen thanks to Rae’s involvement in the conversation.

“That’s not true.“ Sean protests, “We pay close attention, especially to girls we are attracted to.“

“Yeah!“ Sykkuno pipes in again, “I’m pretty sure I would notice if a girl was dropping signals that she likes me.“

Now that stings. That legit makes me wince and cringe as though his voice delivered an actual physical hit to my chest and stomach. It’s really unpleasant, painful even.

“You never notice.“ There’s something about this triple opportunity - proving him wrong that he’d catch onto a girl’s signals; proving him wrong that girls aren’t attracted to him; coming clean about the biggest emotional struggle I’ve experienced in recent years; - that snaps my last emotional restraints. I will totally regret this later, but after the regret comes the relief which is 100% worth it. 

“What?“ He sounds very puzzled. I can just about imagine him frowning as he tries to wrap his brain around something even I can’t wrap mine around.

“You say you’d notice a girl’s hints of attraction. OK.“ I nonchalantly throw Felix off the submarine in Party Animals while I keep talking, “Would you notice if a girl purposely doesn’t kill you in Among Us when she’s impostor? Or would you notice that a girl always sends you links to videos she finds funny? Or that she always shares music and movie recommendations with you and you only?“ 

Dead silence ensues. I feel like they have all glitched, considering Sean didn’t even try to put up a fight when I lifted him and threw him in the ocean as I previously did with Felix’s avatar.

Maybe I was a tad too specific and made the whole situation hit a little too close to home for me. 

Sykkuno and I have become really close friends and we chat and play games regularly. As I mentioned, I give him movie and music recommendations and I only recently started acknowledging the fact that I’ve never killed him in Among Us. Natural instinct I guess. In fact, I feel the need for vengeance when he’s killed. I refuse to even vote for him unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Now that I think about it, it’s not his fault he has no clue. I just don’t know how to properly drop hints.  

“Um...I mean, I guess I would notice but I’d never think they are that type of hints.“ He finally replies.

On point there, dear. On damn point.

“What does it take for you to be convinced that a girl is into you?“ Who cares that a bunch of people are about to witness this outpour? It’ll make it more real, yes, but it will also help me believe that it happened so I don’t try to crawl back to the point where return is an option. No return now. You’ve already passed two thirds of the way. The last one will set you and your mind free. 

“The only way I can be sure is if she tells me, really.“ He sounds so nervous and shy, like he’s trying to draw as little attention as possible.

He doesn’t have to worry. I’m about to pull all the attention on me.

“Well in that case....you leave me no other choice.“ My screen displays me as the winner of this round of Party Animals - an easy one considering my friends are glitched in real life. “I like you, Sykkuno. I like you a lot. And I know you will see it from every context except the one its meant to be in so I’ll be even more head-on - I’ve liked you, as more than a friend for quite some time now, but buddy, you can be sooo oblivious sometimes. Anyway...“ Here’s that regret I was talking about, it’s already creeping in. “Don’t feel the need to say it back. I don’t wanna hear it if you don’t mean it. And Rae,“ I can’t help but laugh at the thought, “Sorry for making your chat go crazy. Peace!“

And I disconnect from the Discord call.

“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?“ I say out loud, staring at my desktop. “The cat’s out of the bag and you can move on now.“

I push myself to get some work done in order to get my mind off the mess I’ve created. I’m afraid of thinking about it, I know I’ll get too upset to do anything with the rest of my day if I do.

Suddenly, just as I’m about to open my email, my phone chimes. My brain doesn’t bother to stop my arm from automatically reaching out and checking the notification. A message.

From Sykkuno.

~ I knew you didn’t suggest me ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ for no reason

Me ~ So...?

~ So, I’m not the only oblivious one here, Y/N

Me ~ Wait WHAT?

~ ‘Nick And Norah’s Infinite Playlist’?

Me ~ Oooohhhh...I see

It takes him a few seconds to reply, the bubble with the three bouncing dots popping up and disappearing a few times now. I just now feel my heart banging against the inside of my ribcage, my pulse echoing in my ears.

He did seem a little too eager for me to watch that movie...

~ So, movie date?

I laugh, wholeheartedly and honestly. Genuine joy running through my veins.

Me ~ So it is.

The grin that is now decorating my features promises to stay there for the rest of the day. I bite my bottom lip at the thought that pops into my head.

Me ~ Phew, I can stop sparing you in Among Us from now on

He sends me three cry-laughing emojis in return, but I don’t need those. I can just imagine him laughing as he usually does with one hand covering his mouth. And here I thought my grin couldn’t grow wider.

 Imagining him happy makes me smile. His happiness makes me happy. He makes me happy.

Even better...

I think the feeling’s mutual.

[buckys-other-punk]

Hold on..THIS IS YOU?!

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Request: where she is a fanfic writer and Sebastian stumbles upon her blog and messaged her as well not letting her know who he was but being an open person she is as to who she was, sending pictures and all, and until one day, decides to meet with her and she is surprised that it was the one she was writing for?

Word Count: 3.6K

Warnings: fluff, sarcasm (of course) and cussing? i think that’s all

A/N: Hello my lovelies. I am sorry I haven’t been posting as much, but that’s usually how I roll..no jk I legit had no time to write because of my classes this semester, so if this sucks I’m sorry lol. I’m still trying to get back into my writing groove...Also don’t mind my minor mistakes 😅

A/N 2: Anyways I AM BACK AND this is my first request ever!! I’m so excited to write this, I am soo sorry this took forever, but hope I did your request justice and that you like it (and so do others). I feel like I wrote this kinda cheesy, but whatever.

[Y/B/N = your blog name]

As always lemme know if you wanna be tagged in my future works and feedback is very much appreciated. Enjoy! <3

Just another normal day without stress and a less anxiety filled world...no, today was actually awful. You were swamped with work and your best friend was complaining about her boyfriend. Let’s just say that the stress she was having with him was making you feel happy that you were single. Trying to relax you heated up some coffee (a/n: or tea) and sat on the couch of your small apartment. Grabbing your laptop you wanted to unwind reading. Probably some fanfics on Tumblr usually does the trick. 

After reading some pretty good marvel related fics by your mutuals, you got inspired to write some fics yourself. Opening up a new tab you began writing about your favorite actor, Sebastian Stan. That man literally makes your miserable day a little better. Sadly, like all the girls and women who fantasize over him, he doesn’t know you. But, whatever right? You can always use your imagination and conjure up a make believe world where the two of you are happily engaged and have a German Shepard puppy named Stitch. Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you opened another tab on your laptop to pull up your writing playlist, you began typing away on your keyboard writing a new AU where you’re the celebrity of the world you were creating and he was a huge fan of you. After you finished your new fic, you posted that immediately without edits because you were so excited to see people read it.

*across town*

“Have you guys ever read any fanfiction about your characters or yourselves?” the interviewer asked the pair.

“You know I’ve seen a few that were quite impressive. These writers are damn creative.” Anthony replied with a smile. “I will also not lie. I’ve read a few steamy ones and y’all are dirty.” he added with a slight disgusted face shaking his head towards the camera.

“What about you Sebastian? Have you read any?” the interviewer lady asked, looking over to the man.

“Honestly. I haven’t.” Sebastian chuckled looking back at her. “Maybe, if Mackie here finds a good one about me I’ll give it a read.” shrugging towards his friend.

“Oh man, I got a few that are worth reading.” Mackie laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Hey, might as well share them with the world. Let’s give that writer a shout out!” she exclaimed, placing her notecards on her lap.

“Well, like I’ve said I’ve only read a bit, but I do have some blogs that I’ve saved. Maybe next time I’ll name drop a few and give fans some well deserved praise.” Anthony smiled looking at the two.

“Alright, well you better have a huge list for me.” the lady said with a smile looking at Anthony. “Thank you both again for your time. For everyone watching Falcon and the Winter Soldier comes out in March 2021.” She finished off the interview smiling and waving at the camera and the two men followed her actions as well. Once the cameras and mics were turned off the lady came back to the two men.

“Thank you again guys for your time” the lady said to the pair shaking their hands (a/n: ok let's pretend there is no corona in this world so yeah. Everyone is healthy and so is the world!). The two replied with a simple you’re welcome and another thanks in return.

“Wait, have you really read fanfiction before?” Sebastian asked his co-star as the pair walked towards their manager, who was waiting for them outside the room, getting their schedule for the pair’s next interview.

“I mean yeah. I got curious on what people were writing about us and our characters.” Anthony responded with a shrug looking down at his phone.

“Aren’t most of those like fifty shades of grey?” Sebastian asked, staring at his friend as stood near their manager.

“Only if you want them to be..” Mackie stared at his friend with a blank face as they came to an abrupt stop. “Nah man, I’m just playing. Some of them are steamy, others can be sad, like crazy sad and some are like tooth rotting cute. Like I recently read one that was with Captain America and this original character that the author came up with and it made me say ‘aww’ when I finished it. Me. A grown man said ‘aww’ after reading a fanfic. A FANFIC!” he added. Their manager quickly explained their schedule and walked them over to their car to head off to the next location. The two were seated at the back, while their manager sat next to the driver.

“You know what. Send me that story you read.” Sebastian said to Anthony.

“Are you sure Seb?” Anthony asked with a chuckle.

“Yeah, why not.” he replied with a shrug. “Might as well read a good story before our next interview.”

“Alright let me send it to you right now. Honestly I think this writer is one of my favorites. I don’t know if it's her writing style or how she portrays our characters, but she’s amazing.” Mackie said with a smile getting the fic he recently read and sending it to his friend. 

“So all her stories are good?” Sebastian asked, looking at the notification.

“I just said that she is my favorite writer.” Anthony looked at his friend with a ‘are you serious face.’ 

“Okay. Okay.” Seb said with his arms up in defense. After a few minutes of reading the fanfic Sebastian actually said ‘aww’ aloud just like Mackie after he first read the story.

“It was good wasn’t it.” Anthony asked with a toothy grin.

“Yeah this was really good. Y/B/N is a pretty good writer.” Sebastian said looking through your feed.

“You should tell her!” Anthony exclaimed.

“What, like make an account?” Seb asked.

“Well yeah, but I mean not your actual name of course. Make a fan account. Show these writers your appreciation, I know that if I were an author I would love that (a/n: wink wink). I’ve messaged a few writers complimenting their work without actually telling them who I am.” Anthony said, placing his hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I’m gonna read more stuff from her before I message her.” Sebastian chuckled. Sebastian clicked onto your main blog page to find that you had just posted a new fic about him. “Wait, dude she just posted a new story...About me!” Sebastian exclaimed, showing his phone to Anthony. 

“Nice, but we have to finish these interviews. You gotta read it during your free time man, sorry to crush your dreams.” he chuckled, unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car. Sebastian sighed and followed his co-stars actions getting out of the car and continuing the rest of his day filled with interviews.

*later that evening*

After the interviews Anthony and Sebastian had dinner together at a fancy restaurant. During their dinner they talked about how crazy some interviews were. Sebastian brought up the subject of how Mackie publicly announced that he had read fanfiction. With that still stuck in his mind the two finished their meal and after parting ways. Sebastian took a cab and arrived at his apartment, changed out of his fancy suit to some comfy clothes and grabbed a bottle of water from his fridge. He walked over to his couch turning on the tv, not really paying attention to what was playing, grabbing his phone he opened the tumblr app finally creating an account.

*one week later*

Sebastian has read almost all of your works and texting Anthony almost every time after he has finished a new fic giving his reactions to each. He has liked and reblogged everything he has read from you and other writers, but he favors your stuff the most.

Mackie: dude you should tell her you like her stuff and stop texting me!

Seb: Alright I will, I just don't know what to say.

Mackie: Just say you like her work. It's as simple as that.

Seb: okay okay I will

Mackie: ok good, no stop texting my its legit 2 am

Seb: fine

Sebastian opened up the messaging area of the app and began typing away his appreciation to you. He didn’t know why he felt so nervous after he pressed send. Getting out of the app completely he tried to focus on whatever was playing on the tv. Then all of a sudden he heard a notification go off and his phone light up. Looking down on it he saw that it was a notification from you. Again his nervousness took place as he unlocked his phone to read the notification. The app opened and the direct message filled his phone screen.

(a/n: this is my first time using a fake dm thingy so just imagine that Seb is following you)

Seb: Holy shit dude, she actually replied back to me!

Mackie: Well of course she did, she's not a robot. But maybe she is since she’s up so late...

Seb: shut up and why are you still up? I though you were mad at me for texting you

Mackie: well you woke me up so what am i supposed to do

Seb: whatever I’ll let you go

Mackie: alright. bye lover boy 

Sebastian shook his head at the text, he went back to the app to reply back to you. “What should I say?” he said to himself. “Maybe she’s in a different time zone or lives across the world or something… Okay okay. Maybe be chill and say I hope i didn’t wake you? No that sounds weird.” he shook his head trying to come up with something to say. Eventually he fell asleep trying to think of what to say to you.

*the next morning/later that day*

Sebastian woke up with his phone gone from his hand. He quickly got out of his bed in panic to look for it. Maybe you had said something to him or he had said something dumb to you. Once he found his phone he quickly unlocked it to check and thank god he didn’t say anything stupid. But he didn’t say anything. He shook his head clearing his thoughts. “Alright I think I know what to say.”

Y/N’s POV

You woke up to the sound of cars honking, groaning you looked at your clock. “How is it already 10 am?” you said aloud to nobody in particular. You sat up on your bed and grabbed your phone scrolling through various social media apps. At the top of your screen you saw a notification from tumblr. Opening the app to the notifications section, you noticed it was a blog that had messaged you from earlier in the morning.

sebstan_fan: Nice to meet you Y/N. I’m Carter. I don’t know where you live, but I just woke up and had a dream about one of your fics. (wow I hope that didn’t sound creepy)

You smiled at the message, since you loved interacting with your followers.

y/b/n: haha its ok. I actually live near New York City and I also woke up. What was your dream about? (if i can ask)

Sebastian’s POV

Sebastian had just finished taking a shower and began preparing his late breakfast. “Holy shit she replied again!” he said to himself looking at the message.

sebstan_fan: Wait, you live near NYC! Me too! Wow such a small world. But anyways my dream was honestly just a reenactment of your fic.

y/b/n: that’s so crazy how we live near each other lol. But that's so cool how you dreamt about my work. You must have really liked it.

sebstan_fan: yeah it was really interesting how you wrote such a life like scenario.

y/b/n: thank you Carter <3

sebstan_fan: ok I now this is random, but what’s your favorite place to eat in New York?

y/b/n: ooh that’s tough. Let’s go with Lombardi’s since its the very first pizza place to open in the US

sebstan_fan: oh wow an excellent choice :)

*a couple weeks later*

You and your new tumblr friend have been talking about one another’s favorite hobbies and interests for the past few weeks. You feel like you have grown a new connection with your new friend and telling them about your shitty days at work. Today your best friend wanted to bring you with her and her boyfriend to some fancy restaurant. 

y/b/n: Carter, I’m practically third wheeling with her and her boyfriend. 

sebstan_fan: well that sounds awful. Where is she taking you?

y/b/n: idk to some fancy restaurant I’ve never heard of. Anyways she’s making me wear fancy clothes, but I just wanna wear my pajamas!

sebstan_fan: y/n come on. you gotta dress nice if other people are dressing nice too 

y/b/n: ughh ok I think I found something nice. *sends picture of yourself in an elegant dress* what about this?

Seb’s POV

Sebastian got a glass of water and sat back down on his couch. Unlocking his phone to see the new dm from you he spit his water out of his mouth wetting the coffee table in front of him. “HOLY SHIT SHE’S GORGEOUS!” he yelled aloud staring at his phone in awe of your beauty.

sebstan_fan: Y/N, you look amazing! That dress is literally making you glow!

y/b/n: stop you’re making me blush..my friend just pulled up. I’ll dm you later once this stupid night is over. 

sebstan_fan: alright have fun 

y/b/n: <3

Sebastian quickly called Mackie to tell him that you sent him a photo of yourself. 

“Dude, she is unbelievably gorgeous. I actually spit my water out all over my coffee table when I saw the picture. ” Sebastian said on the phone.

“Man you are so obsessed with her, it's kinda creepy.” Anthony replied through the phone.

“What? No man, we just clicked. We have a bunch in common and she’s really easy to talk to.” Sebastian gushed to his friend.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that you’re lying to her about your real identity. You’re like fucking Superman with a secret persona!” Anthony snickered at the man on the other line.

“Dude no, but I’ll tell her eventually that I’m me.” Seb replied back to Anthony.

“Well you better do it soon because I’m tired of hearing about you gushing over this woman.” Anthony huffed under his breath. “Anyways I gotta go so bye bitch.” 

Sebastian laughed at his friend hanging up the phone and heading to his room getting ready for bed. As he laid on his bed he couldn’t take his mind off of you in that dress. You were so open with sharing your life to him, a complete stranger, yet he couldn’t do the same.

*the next day*

y/b/n: Carter! I forgot to dm you once I got home, but that dinner was terrible. I hated every minute of it.

sebstan_fan: what happened? Also good morning :)

y/b/n: good morning, sorry if I woke you. But anyways my best friend and her boyfriend brought some dude to make it a double date and the guy was a complete douche. I couldn’t stand a minute being there.

sebstan_fan: damn I’m sorry to hear that. I bet if I was there with you the night wouldn’t have been so bad haha

y/b/n: creepy..jk But I bet we would have completely ditched my friend and her boyfriend lol

sebstan_fan: wait, I got an idea! I mean since we live around the same area why don’t we meet!

y/b/n: what like in person?

sebstan_fan: no through zoom, yes in person!

y/b/n: wow the sarcasm in this one, but that sounds like a lovely idea. I feel like I already know so much about you tho...

Sebastian huffed under his breath, “not everything.”

sebstan_fan: lol yeah but it’ll be different to meet in person. Anyways where should we meet?

y/b/n: lol that’s true. Well I know this small cafe that’s so cute and I heard they have pretty good pastries. It would be awesome to meet there :D

sebstan_fan: alright how about Saturday afternoon? You don’t have work right?

y/b/n: nope I’m off! but that sounds good to me! I’m so excited and nervous at the same time. Like what if you’re some creepy stalker...

Sebstan_fan: why would you accuse me of such a thing?!

y/b/n: lol you know i’m just messing with you. But I gotta go my friend is now calling me, probably about that douche from last night...but I can’t wait to see you Carter!<3

“Yeah, me too.” Sebastian said to himself smiling.

*Saturday*

You sat at the cafe where you told your new tumblr friend to meet you. You ordered a drink and once it was finished, you grabbed it and sat near the windows saving a seat for Carter. As you waited you pulled out your laptop and began on typing away a new fic idea drawing inspiration from the small cafe and the gloomy weather outside. 

“I’m sorry that seat’s taken...” you muttered to a man who pulled out the chain next to you, looking up at the figure. “Holy shit!” you exclaimed to the man who sat next to you.

“Shhhh...Please don’t say anything.” Sebastian whispered to you, sitting on the chair next to you and taking off his sunglasses.

“What? But how? You’re!? I can’t breathe.” you exclaimed erratically looking down at your drink.

“Hey, hey Y/N, just calm down and take slow deep breaths.” he said calmly placing his hand on your back.

“How the fuck do you know my name?!” you exclaimed again staring wide eyed at the actor. “Am I getting pranked or something? Where are the cameras?!” you nervously laughed looking around the empty cafe.

“No, you’re not getting pranked. It’s me Carter…” he said quietly rubbing the back of his head.

“You’re Carter?! I thought you were a girl!” you said looking into the man’s blue eyes.

“I may have lied about who I was, but I wanted to meet you.” he started as he stared down at the ground. “I didn’t want you to freak out knowing that it was actually me.” he said looking back up at you.

“Let me just gather my thoughts for a sec.” you said, putting your hand to your temples.

“Wait, why did you assume I was a girl?” he asked with a smirk.

“I don’t know! Carter is a unisex name.” you frantically said with a shrug. “And I mean most of my followers are female, so I just assumed you were one too.” you added grabbing your drink and taking a sip to calm your nerves.

“That makes sense I guess.” he said chuckling, looking out the big window of the cafe.

“This is so crazy that you are here. Sitting next to me and talking about my stupid tumblr blog.” you uttered. “Like you’re famous!”

“Yeah so what.” he looked back to you. 

“I mean aren’t you busy filming and stuff?” you asked the man.

“Nope, we just wrapped up the interviews a couple of weeks ago. I’m on vacation.” he said with a toothy grin, which made you blush. “Aww look she’s blushing.” he said sweetly towards you.

“Shut up. It’s not like I get to meet my favorite actor who I’ve had a crush on since forever sitting next to me and casually conversing with.” you muttered quickly hoping he didn’t hear your profession of love for him.

“You got a crush on me?” he smiled at you.

“Fuck you. I do not!” you exclaimed looking away from him.

“Aww I think you do.” he said, nudging your shoulder.

“Whatever.” you said under your breath trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Hey, I’m in awe too.” he began, which made you look at him. “It’s not like I get to see a beautiful woman who I like.” he smirked at you.

“I think I’m dreaming. Did you just say you like me?!” you asked pinching yourself back into reality.

“I mean yeah. I really like your work as a writer and the past what month we’ve been talking I think you’re a really cool and sweet person.” he said now blushing. 

“I bet you say that to all the women you meet.” scoffing at his comment.

“No I’m serious Y/N. I think you’re a really talented writer. And I think you’re also really pretty.” again blushing, but this time he looked straight at you.

“Oh, wow. Thank you so much Sebastian.” you hesitated, your cheeks heating up. “That means a lot coming from you.” you smiled.

“Of course. And also I wanted to ask you in person if after coming clear about who I actually am, if you wanted to go out sometime. I know its weird and all sudden but-”

“Yes!” you exclaimed quickly cutting him off. “I mean. I would love to.” you said more calmly. “God, I’m trying so hard to keep my inner fangirl in.” you huffed under your breath. 

Sebastian laughed at your comment and then asked, “Alright then. What about tomorrow I take you out for dinner?” 

“That sounds delightful.” you smiled at the man. The two of you fell silent watching the people who passed by the small cafe.

“Oh, but can I ask you one more question? Why are you wearing a hat? And shades earlier? It's legit rainy and cloudy as hell outside.” you asked, looking at the man with your head resting on your hand.

“I’m going incognito. I don’t want my fans to recognize me.” he replied, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Are you embarrassed of them seeing you with me?” you hesitantly interrogated.

“No, I just don't want them to interrupt our first date.” he responded with a smirk looking at you.

“Wait, this is a date?!” you exclaimed with wide eyes.

“Only if you want it to be sweetheart.” Sebastian smirked, winking towards you.

“Fuck you.” You said with a smile.

A/N: Yay you finished! Was that good? bad? cheesy? lemme know lol Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up! Thank you guys for reading and I hope you get excited for more stuff to come.

Tags: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince​ @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan​ @princess76179​ @anbrax5553​ @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes​ @miraclesoflove​ @kitkatd7 @msgreenverse @saiyanprincessswanie​ @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom​ @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added to future works or removed for tags^

[tundrainafrica]

Hi, i saw some time ago you compared Royai to Levihan, would you mind elaborating more on their similarities? I ship both and looking at they compared blow my mind

YES. Beautiful ask anon! As always, sorry for only getting into this now, my inbox is still a mess I am currently trying to make sense of. But legit, I could talk about this for hours. Cause I’m that fucking simp who just randomly goes on Youtube and watches the Riza breakdown vs. Lust  scene just to see some GREATTT acting and some great crumbs. 

So anyway, will be moving on now to this really long and--mind you--uncurated rant. 

Disclaimer though: Although I have watched all the fullmetal stuff, from the first anime, to brotherhood to the manga and have lurked in the fanfiction sites long before (like fam, this anime is literally my childhood it’s such a big part of my life that when I hear ‘mustang’ I think of roy mustang not the car), but at this point, the main story line for me is a blur and I probably just remember only the Roy scenes and the Royai scenes well. 

I was not a big fan of Edwin for multiple reasons. 

Warning: Spoilers abound for FMA so read at your own risk. And for people who watch FMA but not AOT, spoilers abound for AOT is well.

So there are a lot of similarities between Levihan and Royai and I think this is the reason why Levihan definitely appealed to me a lot as a couple. Royai after all was my OG ‘I think I wanna be in this type of relationship’ type of couple. 

Military Setting

I’ve always found these types of relationships interesting cause I like to think, you’re in such a high stakes and very stringent atmosphere where you could die at any moment and you’re constantly doing such morally grey things. And with that, people have the tendency to either close in on themselves and just keep to themselves or just go crazy over time. Yet you have people who find the time to form CLOSE and almost ROMANTIC bonds with your fellow soldiers

And I just like the process of exploring how this happens. And you know what makes it juicier? 

    2. The commander to the subordinate dynamic (with a twist)

The boss to the follower dynamic because Royai and Levihan are both incredibly healthy and stable relationships but they both come from something taboo right? A commander to subordinate relationship? So we ask ourselves? How did they both make it work? 

Well, what I notice is despite the implied respect Riza and Levi both hold for Roy and Hange respectively, due to their positions in the military, do you notice Hange and Roy still have respect over Levi and Riza’s opinions. I cannot remember all the scenes in both shows but remember that scene where Riza would just stop Roy half way into fighting when it’s raining because sometimes he does forget that he can’t do his fire thing when it’s raining? It shows obviously that Riza could undermine his decisions if she finds them completely idiotic or out of the blue. Or that scene where Roy was curbstomping Envy when he found out Envy killed Hughes? 

So, the thing is Levi and Hange worked like this too. Even before Hange became commander, I think there was an already implied hierarchical difference between being ‘squad leader’ and being ‘team captain.’ Squad leader’s are generally in a higher position and command a much larger group and do you see how Levi approaches Hange? Like when telling her off about risking her life when trying to capture the titan? 

And even when she was commander, that telepathy scene?? Can we appreciate, that when Hange became commander (compared to when Erwin was commander), Levi took the reins of a lot of the leading in the survey corps, as if he understood his job wasn’t just to follow Hange but to take care of her? 

Like I’m sure Riza saw her job more as a caretaker to Roy more than his subordinate and seeing this in Levihan was just fantastic.

And another thing I love about both of them...

  3. They were just the two competent level headed people

This is such a trope for me. I cannot handle couples where someone is just not competent or is so obviously underpowered compared to the other. Like I want them to be able to handle themselves without the other. And even when they’re alone they’re doing shit and you just find out later, by the way I have this bf/gf/partner who is equally competent. But when we’re together we just share one brain cell because we can practically melt when we’re safe with the other. 

And the thing is since they’re in a military setting we don’t see them ‘practically melt,’ we can usually just pick out the crumbs (ehem 126), and the fact that these crumbs are such rare gems, makes it all the jucier. 

And here’s the thing, in animes and in stories, this ‘competent people’ couple is usually supporting cast cause I dunno? Nobody wants to hear about the competent couple who just figured out they like each other and they just like hanging out with each other for some reason? 

And most adventure stories are underdog stories where we watch people start of as dead weight and get stronger which is not boring per se but I dunno, these couples usually dont’ appeal to me fsr because I’m all for the power couple dynamic and the protagonists always have something going on making them doubt their strength so yeah.  And there’s usually this token love interest who’s not as strong and tries not to be useless but is kinda dead weight.

4. Their special abilities? 

Levi and Hange are a power couple the way Roy and Riza are. When these two couples were introduced into their respective stories, they were all well established as bad asses. We have humanity’s strongest, humanity’s smartest then in FMA we have the flame alchemist one of the strongest alchemists and we have Riza who’s crazy good with a gun. 

5. They were never that in your face couple

As said above, I really love competent people ships but nobody really likes reading about people being competent and having their level headed shit together so these characters end up with more of supporting character energy who have their ‘big damn heroes’ moments where they swoop in and save the protagonist. 

And the thing is, since they’re supporting characters, there’s so much more room to move when contemplating such couples because the crumbs are there? But at the same time they’re not there? And since I like exploring my own headcanons about those ‘boring’ yet incredibly stable and mature relationships, these tend to be my favorite characters to shoehorn into my spotify playlists.

Edwin and Eremika respectively have more ‘in your face’ crumbs and I dunno, their crumbs for me always seemed to be too obviously there where I was like ‘okay cute relationship’ but  ‘I wouldn’t wanna be in a relationship like that’  kinda way. 

And since main protagonist romantic subplots crumbs are already ‘in my face’ I end up thinking to myself, what’s there to headcanon?

And like they go through so much more problems romance wise since obviously they are the protagonist. But I guess for me, I never liked those couples who were so obviously together and go through problems that bystanders are aware of. Because I dunno, people might not agree with me but it doesn’t sit well with me when EVERYBODY knows about the problems between two certain people in a relationship. 

I always liked those couples who just start off as two people hanging out together and then like five years you find out, they live together and have five cats and it turns out they’ve been married for two of those three years. 

And power couples just make it work? Because the stories tend to focus on them being competent people more than being in love so when the coupling actually happens it’s like: 

“Wow you live together and have five cats, you worked so hard for it, I’m so happy for you.” 

Instead of you know, watching people go through like 3456 instances of miscommunication drama just to end up in a still seemingly doubtful relationship.

6. Iconic scenes for Levihan and Royai? 

And here’s the beautiful thing about the crumbs of both of these ships, they are incredibly apparent when the stakes are high and this is *chef’s kiss.* This is literally the climax, the peak to such subtle crumbs. Like okay, fine it’s satisfying to see the main protagonist and their main love interest doing shit and loving each other when the stakes are high like in Season 2 of AOT with Mikasa thinking she’s gonna die so she confesses to Eren or maybe that Naruto and HInata scene in the Pain Arc where Hinata just pops in and saves Naruto and kinda dies in the process

But can we all agree that there is something very very very satisfying about seeing two people who are probably not or are probably dating just going crazy for each other when the stakes are high? Like yo, come on. 

My favorite scenes for Royai: The Lust fight scene, the Envy fight scene and lastly, the scene where Roy opens the gates to save Riza and goes blind. Can we just appreciate the fact that Roy risked his Colonel dreams to save Riza by going blind??

And for Levihan? I’m sure Levihans are tired of hearing the chapter numbers but 115? That’s fucking iconic, Hange ltierally jumped into the river with Levi and please tell me that is not a parallel to Roy opening the gates for an already half dead Riza. Mind you, Hange did not even know if Levi would make it or not and she probably didn’t know if she would make it or not either. Any of the soldiers could have literally just shot into the river and nicked them with bullets.  She just literally abandoned everything and wooshed to the river. 

And I had this convo with a few other people and we were thinking about what if it was anyone else who found Levi. And we came to the conclusion that IT HAD TO BE HANGE. Because somehow, I feel like Hange would have been one of the only few, if not the only one who would have gathered up the courage to jump into the river and risk their own life to save Levi. 

And for the next part... Disclaimer: This is just my opinion, please let’s not start a ship war.

Like with the war on twitter “Levihan vs. Eruri,” I started to reflect as well on whether or not Erwin would have saved Levi if he was there instead of Hange but I think it is less likely that Erwin would have saved Levi. Erwin probably wouldn’t have agreed with the rumbling definitely but I cannot help but think, Erwin approached his commander position like a chess master and with this, approached Levi as a superior while Hange approached Levi as an equal and a best friend. 

So if, saving Erwin was just going to mess with plans let’s say to manipulate the Yaegerists for some greater purpose, would Erwin have just let Levi die? 

7. The magic is no one fits Roy or Riza perfectly.

I had these same thoughts with Shikatema vs. Levihan and now Royai vs. Levihan. So comparing their dynamics, I just have to say, that none of them fit each other perfectly. Hange has Riza and Roy crumbs and Levi has Riza and Roy crumbs too. 

Like Roy is some ridiculously strong (Levi) superior (Commander Hange) with a seemingly goofy personality (Hange). Riza is the subordinate (Levi) who’s equally reliable but not as overpowered (Hange) with a very strict but very obviously emotionally constipated personality (Levi) 

Like if you put Levihan in some of the token Royai moments. Like the Lust fight? I think Levi would have done something similar to Riza. Okay, he wouldn’t have broken down right then but he would have done something similar to what Roy did when he found out Envy killed Hughes. 

I’m convinced Hange would have had a breakdown which is more of an in between between what Roy (Envy fight) and Riza (Lust fight) had in their respective fights. I mean 115 is proof enough that Hange ain’t playing when her bebeluvs is in danger. 

8. And towards the end of the series?

Okay this is where the comparisons just kinda diverge because this part makes me sad. In the end game, Royai worked together. Riza became the eyes of Roy when he was making shit explode in the final battle coz he was blind. 

And Hange and Levi were completing each other towards the of the AOT end right? Not just with the jian bird references with having parallel injuries. In the final battle though when Levi was out of commission due to the explosion, Hange was the one fighting with the crew until 132. And the moment she died, Levi stepped up and fought right? 

Like they had something similar going on, where these two were covering for each other and taking care of the kids. It’s just that compared to Royai who were explicitly working together, we have Hange covering for Levi right after he got injured and Levi stepping up to cover for Hange after she died. 

AND I can’t help but think, literally post time skip just could not handle Levihan working together huh? Is that how competent Levi and Hange are as soldiers that Yams couldn’t let them work together just one last time? Like he knew it would mess with the story if he lets Levi and Hange lead at full power?

Which brings me to last point, and the point that makes me saddest.

9. About them being endgame? 

Okay, so it wasn’t confirmed that Roy and Riza ended up together because Roy still had his fuhrer goals but AT LEAST THEY HAD A CHANCE? Like their last scene in the show was still them together? And Riza still at least got to follow him? 

Levihan… They just… shit just happened and we all know what happened and now I’m reading fanfiction and crying over fcitoonal characters to pass the quarantine.

Anyway, if you reached this point, thank you for reading. And thank you for the question anon!

[dex-xe]

I’ve made Spotify playlists inspired by each of the ghosts and I’ve made these little written pieces to talk about them. if you wanna read them, please go ahead - if not then enjoy the music!!

This is Kitty’s playlist:

Best Friend - Rex Orange County

Kitty’s friendliness is just so sweet to me like I love that after a few episodes Alison accepts Kitty as a good friend but like before that when Kitty wants a sleepover which Alison basically denies her, I’m like O.o Kitty pls be my best friend ily!!

Piano Concerto No. 21 in C Major - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart & Géza Anda

I wanted to include at least a little bit of music from each of the ghosts time frame so I decided on a little bit of Mozart for Kitty - who, given when she lived and the familial culture at the time, probably played an instrument with piano being entirely probable.

Wildest Dreams - Duomo

I wanted to include at least one Bridgerton song for Kitty because I mean it’s obvious how influential issues brought up in the show would be on Kitty’s life. She was alive just before Bridgerton is set (1813 - Kitty died in the late 1700s) so I think she’d appreciate the modern song with a twist, and obviously she’d love the all the dances and everything.

Walking On Sunshine - Katrina & The Waves

An easy choice. I mean, it’s literally the go to song for people who are incredibly happy and optimistic. I didn’t want to include tons of overly happy songs for Kitty because I find her overwhelming happiness to be tinged with such sadness — she’s positive to a fault and it’s so sad what she went through during her life but yeah it’s a nice song for her.

Forever Young - Alphaville

I read somewhere that Kitty is canonically a teenager - I don’t know if that’s true so if someone could enlighten me that would be really great. But yeah is Kitty the youngest ghosts, surely it’s her or Thomas right? Anyway, Kitty will be forever young and I find that a weird concept?? That’s my in depth analysis XD

Enter One - Sol Seppy

I have so so so so so so so so much love for this song I think it’s just gorgeous. Okay but like assuming Kitty grew up at Button House (or I assume Higham House at the time) then she would’ve grown up literally from a little kid in front of some of the other ghosts (Robin, Humphrey, Mary and Annie) so like they witnessed whatever trauma and/or neglect Kitty went through. Ages ago I read someone talking about the ghosts watching her grow up and then taking care of her for the first time after she died (I can’t find the post) so like this verse: “To a friend, A sister in need, Who is not alone, And they are surrounding her, And they will enfold her outstretched hand, In our love” is just so beautiful for that moment when they finally get to take her away from her family which I love and adore and uhhhhh it’s so good, it’s such a good song.

Shake It Off - Taylor Swift

Okay from me legit crying over Kitty’s life and emotional stuff to just being like yeah this is a happy song and just something to dance to!!

Magnificent (She Says) - Elbow

This song just has gorgeous vibes and given that Kitty has just gorgeous vibes as well it was impossible for me not to include it.

Good Day - The Dresden Dolls

Someone suggested The Dresden Dolls for Kitty on my previous music post and I’d never heard of them before I’m a bit in love now… like the dark cabaret style and creepy sorta vocals and piano are just <3 <3 Like damn! And yeah I think this song is Kitty-like cause like when Alison was kinda ignoring her in ALN she got really upset as if this was a regular occurrence in her life as well like her sister or maybe her parents ignoring her in favour of her sister maybe??

Optimistic - Radiohead

“And remember: as long as you try your best.” I think that line is probably the moment of Kitty’s “personality introduction” so I kinda had to include something similar.

Devil Town - Cavetown

Okay I know this song is about parental divorce but I kinda like to apply it a bit more widely to broken families and dysfunctional households which Kitty obviously experienced. I think also the line “nevermind, I’ll settle for two birthdays” shows a kind of optimism in the face of family trauma and the acceptance that bad things often have to be spun in a positive light to cope with it.

growing up is getting old - VICTORIA

Kitty angst, Kitty angst, Kitty angst!!! After the episode descriptions we got today I am really really hoping for much more of a deep dive into Kitty’s emotions. I just want to know more about her life, and I just want the other ghosts to be protective and loving of her O.O

Stacking Chairs - Middle Kids

Kitty’s urge to be around Alison and do what’s best for her is just what I love more than anything. I really love that scene she has with the Captain where he’s like “you one Alison?” And “You want what’s best for her” like Cap/Kitty solidarity is what I live for (more to come in season 3????)

Teenage Dream - Katy Perry

I feel like with Alison arriving at the house Kitty finally has the opportunity to be a young woman again?? If that makes sense. Cause she’s been around generally older and predominantly male ghosts for a long time which is why I think she’s fixated on Alison so much because it’s the first time in centuries that she’s been around someone with similar interests etc as her. So yeah, like asking for the sleepover and wanting to talk about boys and stuff gives me Teenage Dream vibes.

In One Ear - Cage The Elephant

Like I said I didn’t want Kitty’s playlist to all be soft and sweet cause I feel like that’s kinda reducing everything about her into a little soft ball of syrup so yeah this song is sick and it’s basically about not caring what others say about you but yeah I like it!!

Would You Be So Kind - dodie

I had to include something dodie cause she’s just got that soft kind vibe. I don’t love many of her songs, it’s not really my style, but this (and In The Middle) are pretty good. Also I don’t think Kitty has much of a distinction between platonic and romantic love (same Kitty) and therefore this song is pretty fitting.

Amazing Grace - Judy Collins

If I could include Kitty’s ‘Amazing Kitty’, I definitely would cause that whole scene is just really funny. But like I said, I’m trying to include some music from when they would have lived and Amazing Grace is from the 1770s which is just when Kitty would’ve been born.

Happy - Pharrell Williams

An obvious choice but I wanted to talk about this a touch. My irl friend hates Kitty so much because she say she can’t stand people who are always happy and like infectiously positive all the time and literally every time Kitty is on screen she starts complaining and I find it so bizarre and like I’ve called her out a number of times like stfu but it’s constant. Like I find Kitty’s happiness kinda melancholy cause like she has so much to be sad about like her family and sister and stuff and I think learning more about in her life will just extend quite how sad her overt happiness actually is.

We’re Going to Be Friends - The White Stripes

Ngl I had no idea this was by The White Stripes before searching it up but apparently it is. It’s about like childhood friendship and nostalgia which I think is very right for Kitty as she works to try and make Alison her best friend after not having one during her life (and therefore relying on Florence the statue).

Girls Just Want to Have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

This song just gives me major girly sleepover vibes which I think is quite fitting. I find it interesting that as soon as Alison can see the ghosts (and accepts that she can see them) the first thing Kitty asks of Alison is to have a sleepover, maybe she sees that as the true mark of friendship? Perhaps her sister was always having sleepovers with her friends and Kitty wanted to join? I want to know Kitty’s backstory more than anyones, I think she’s fascinating!!

[isaywhatiwantok]

i’m gonna write a review on greatest hits because i love it and it’s my comfort album from now on and i feel like writing a whole ass essay

so let’s start reviewing each song (the reviews get better as you go)

greatest hits: i think it is a great intro, and it really gives you a taste of what the album is like. i like the repeating line, and how the beat changes a bit every time, i really enjoyed it honestly. but i don’t really see it as a track, so i hear it when listening to the album, but don’t add it to playlists.

fuzzy: i loved fuzzy SO much. the guitar riff killed me. the EFFECTS. i love every aspect of it so much. the little brrr is so awesome as well. i love the general vibes of it, it makes me want to dance and sing and just everything. it’s amazing and such a good way to start the album. the buildups are so well done as well.

lowkey as hell: honestly, i loved lowkey as hell when it came out, but as soon as they released snow globe i just kinda forgot about it. i think it was a good single to start with, with all the teasing and leaking and stuff. but it left me with kinda low expectations, since i had just gotten into them when it came out, and i expected more based on their older stuff (i’m such a FANDOM stan istg). but i guess it was a good thing, because i was pleasantly surprised when the other singles came out.

numb: this song made it to my top ten one day after it came out. i listened to it every single day and memorized the lyrics in less then two hours. it legit makes me wanna burn something down. i love it so much. the lyrics are so well written and it always puts me in such a good mood.

violet!: i can’t even put into words how much i love this track. ok first let’s mention the TRANSITION. it’s so smooth and well done and i’m addicted to it. and the song itself has such good vibes and is just adorable generally. since it came out it has been all i’ve listened to (so like two days) and i love it so muchhhhh. i admit i woke myself up at three am just so i could listen to it and dance around.

snow globe: i think this was the single i liked the most. the lyrics are so well written and amazing. i love the general beat and the start is so amazing. (that guitar in the begging tho) and i was soooo excited when it came out. awsten’s voice is so soothing in it as well. i just really love snow globe.

just kidding: i love the lyrics. i think the beat and chorus are a bit weak compared to the other songs, but the verses and the “i like your apartment, i like how your hair smells” is awesome, and i guess it makes sense that the beat is a bit calmer and less developed considering the meaning of the song. but the VERSES and the harmonies are amazing.

the secret life of me: this is probably the most relatable one for me, but i’d rather not compare my life to songs and awsten’s feelings. it’s his song, not mine. moving on, the fast paced beat hooks me so well, and how his voice somehow fits and doesn’t at the same time?? i love it. and the chorus is so catchy and amazing. “real life never feels it’s mine” “i keep my eyes wide, shut”???? a literal lyrical god????like cmon

american graffiti: love the more punk rock vibes, the guitar is soooo good and otto with the drumsss. i love this track so much. “if you need me i’m here, no” foreshadowing much? i’m so addicted. the small beat build ups that lead to the chorus are sooo smart. i can never get enough of the band’s harmonies and background music.

paranoid: there’s no way i’m typing the whole title. i’m not sure what i was expecting when they announced the single, but it surely wasn’t that. starting out with the chorus was such a good choice for this track. it literally hit me in the face multiple times and then stabbed me three times. and i thanked it. and kissed it. i love it

fruit roll ups: this is such a cute song. the more chill and slow vibes comparing to the chaos of paranoid is such a good move, it is like a little break after a marathon. the little beats at the end make the serotonin machine go brrrr

LIKE IT: THIS SONG. THIS FUCKING SONG. i can’t even explain it. it’s fucking fire. i love it more than i love myself and my entire family and friends. it owns my soul and i will burn a building down while it plays and i dance and flip off the police.

gladiator: love it love it love it. the beat????is so good????while he talks??????? like sir???? you are so musically talented and i love you???? great song, great track, awesome interlude and gives a little 🤌 to the album yknow

magnetic: so this one was probably the one i was the most curious about, with all the emojis and stuff. i’m soooooo in love with every aspect of it. the badass energy, the beat changes, the riffs, the lyrics, everything. it’s such a “i will kill you, but don’t hate me” song somehow. it was definitely better than i expected.

crying over it all: he just loves to see me suffer i guess. thanks for putting this after a badass song that makes me feel on the top of the world. it’s such an amazing track tho. i love the build up, the beat drops and background changing while he calmly sings. everything about it is so endearing.

ice bath: i- don’t know what to say. i mean, it’s a great track, but i don’t know how i feel about it. go off bestie ig. but how it starts with greatest hits and then distorts into something darker and heavier???? that’s musical intelligence right there

see you in the future: probably my favorite track that wasn’t released before. the changes and awsten becoming a rap god out of nowhere??? and the nod to paranoid??? so amazing. i’m obsessed with the beat and the quickening. the interlude???? i LIVE for otto’s drum solo at the end this song makes me wanna jump so bad. i’d kill to see it live.

overall, i love the album more than anything else. the diversity of the tracks, how it goes from calm to chaos to sad to happy to even more chaotic and somehow fits perfectly together. it was so well produced. i can tell the band and their crew worked really hard on it, and they really are the greatest hits. i’m so proud of it, and i’m glad awsten is so excited and proud of something he released. every aspect of this album hooks me so well, and it really is a musical masterpiece.

stream greatest hits :)

[gonemechaniic]

𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬

    「 @dragcnlxrd​ 」

17. What makes you insecure about your own writing?

I often compare my writing style to others. I worry that my content isn’t “pretty” enough or that my posts aren’t fluid enough with the #aesthetic. I mean there’s people that can write fucking poetry and I look at my reply and get those “TF is this shit?!” kinda vibes sometimes. ._.

18. What is one thing you’d wish to see more in the rp community?

Honesty... I remember when this whole experience wasn’t such a huge deal. When aesthetics were just your personal vibe without a there being a lingering thought you had to impress people in order for them to even acknowledge you. When people were just coming together to share a common love for something. 

But then there’s the toxicity that comes with and more times than not it’s for no reason or just some petty bs. You get people purposely shutting out others. Not because they’re the toxic ones, not over some cataclysmic wrongdoing, but over something like “well they have a *insert minuscule, unimportant hc detail* that i don’t really care for” just dumb things like that. I just miss the community being a COMMUNITY.

... so that. XDD I wanna see more of that welcoming aspect. I know it’s there in little pockets but it seems to diminish more and more whenever the loud pretentious people try to dictate what’s #cool 

19. Who is an author that inspires you?

Neil Gaiman tbh. I remember the first time I read Sandman and just. freaking. WOW. I was hooked to almost everything ever since. Legit one of the reasons I have an Ankh tramp stamp is because of the Death graphic novels. XD

20. Do you need music/noise to write or do you prefer silence?

I do need something in the background at least, but if it’s the t.v I can get distracted. I mostly turn to music, either my muse's or ship playlist, lo-fi tunes, or even a cinematic OST. I can’t do silence sometimes unless it’s in those moments where I get a random idea or plot point I have to jot down. 

22. Are there any red roleplay flags for you that make you back off immediately?

Not tagging nsfw images or just no tagging in general. No rules anywhere, or if I legit have to deep dive search for the link... c’mon now. Openly and often participating in petty drama or the before mentioned pretentious, nose in the air, stick up the bum quality. Basically anything that violates my own ‘don’t be a dick’ rule.

[andromeda3116]

so like i said i would do no more explaining but i was kinda jokey with that post when actually no i legit did put thought and purpose into this kanej playlist, so here’s a breakdown of the songs on it and which lyric(s)/to whom it applies. some of them, again, are more about the general vibe, but mostly there’s like. an actual reason i picked these songs.

kaz.

o. (not on spotify) the sewers belch me up, the heavens spit me out, from ethers tragic i am born again. [...] is it bright where you are? have the people changed? does it make you happy you're so strange? and in your darkest hour, i hold secrets' flame. you can watch the world devoured in its pain. --the end is the beginning is the end

i. god money, i’ll do anything for you. god money, just tell me what you want me to. god money, nail me up against the wall. god money, don't want everything, he wants it all. no, you can’t take it, no you can't take it, no, you can’t take that away from me. head like a hole, black as your soul, i'd rather die than give you control. bow down before the one you serve, you’re going to get what you deserve.

ii. there’s a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step i take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. [...] i am just a worthless liar, i am just an imbecile. i will only complicate you. trust in me and fall as well. [...] why can we not be sober, i just want to start this over.

iii. i’d walk to you through rings of fire, and never let you know the way i feel. under skin is where i hide the love that always gets me on my knees. [...] i want it now, i want it now. don’t tell me that my ship is coming in. --nothing lasts forever

iv. one: take control of me, you’re messing with the enemy. said it’s two: it’s another trick, you’re messing with my mind. [...] there it goes again, take me to the edge again. all i got is a dirty trick, i’m chasing down the wolves to save you. i tell you i want you, i tell you i need you. the blood on my face, i just wanted you near me. --club foot

v. don’t waste your touch, you won’t feel anything. or were you sent to save me? i’ve thought too much, you won’t find anything worthy of redeeming. [...] reach out and you may take my heart away. --the leaving song, part two

vi. while i waited, i was wasting away, hope was wasting away, faith was wasting away, i was wasting away. [...] inside a crumbling effigy, but you promised. so dies all innocence, but you promised me. --the great disappointment

vii. welcome to the end of eras, ice has melted back to life, done my time and served my sentence, dress me up and watch me die. if it feels good, tastes good, it must be mine. dynasty decapitated, you just might see a ghost tonight. [...] the crown. so close i could taste it, i see what’s mine and take it. --the emperor’s new clothes

viii. all my friends were glorious, tonight we are victorious. [...] i’m a killing spree in white, eyes like broken christmas lights. my touch is black and poisonous. [...] throw the bait, catch the shark, bleed the water red. fifty words for murder, and i’m every one of them.

ix. just like romantic verses, just like a joyous end, just like a memory, it twists me. you land as lightly as the new snow onto the melting boy. you land as gently, you’re so cinematic, bathed in your radiance, i melt. --this celluloid dream

x. i’ll describe the way i feel: weeping wounds that never heal. can this savior be for real, or are you just my seventh seal? no hesitation, no delay, you come on just like special k, now you’re back, the dope demand, i’m on sinking sand. [...] i’ll describe the way i feel: you’re my new achilles heel.

xi. i choose to live and to grow, take and give and to move, learn and love and to cry, kill and die and to be paranoid and to lie, hate and fear and to do what it takes to move through. i choose to live and to lie, kill and give and to die, learn and love and to do what it takes to step through. [...] i’ve been crawling on my belly, clearing out what could have been. --forty-six and two

xii. do you listen to yourself? never live for someone else. do you like the way you feel? nothing hurts when no one’s real. [...] i wanna bullet-proof your soul, would you like to lose control? i won’t let you fall until you tell me so. [...] should have listened when you called my name.

xiii. you have forsaken all the love you’ve taken, sleeping on a razor, there’s nowhere left to fall. your body’s aching, every bone is breaking, nothing seems to shake it, it just keeps holding on. [...] i thread the needle through, you beat the devil’s tattoo.

xiv. i’m insane, but on my toes. i can keep the world balanced on my nose. i had a slumber party with all my foes, now i wear ‘em like a badge of honor on my clothes. if i’m crazy, i’m on my own. if i’m waiting, it’s on my throne. [...] can’t stop me now, i said i got you now. i’m right here at your door, i won’t leave, i want more. --what’s up, danger?

xv. the world is a vampire sent to drain, secret destroyers hold you up to the flames. and what do i get for my pain? betrayed desires and a piece of the game. [...] despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage. --bullet with butterfly wings

xvi. can’t you see i’m sorry? i will make it worth your while. i’m made of dead men’s money, you can see it in my smile. oh, lazarus, how did your debt get paid? [...] when the fires, when the fires are consuming you, and your sacred stars won’t be guiding you, i’ve got blood, i’ve got blood on my name.

xvii. “oh don’t talk of love,” the shadows purr, murmuring me away from you. “don’t talk of worlds that never were, the end is all that’s ever true.” [...] every night i burn, every night i scream your name.

xviii. my heart’s a tart, your body’s rent, my body’s broken, yours is bent. carve your name into my arm, instead of stressed, i lie here charmed. [...] like the naked leads the blind, i know i’m selfish, i’m unkind. sucker love, i always find someone to bruise and leave behind. --every you, every me

xix. it don’t matter, i won’t do what you say. you’ve got the money and the power, i won’t go your way. i can’t take for the people, they don’t matter at all. i’ll be waiting in the shadows, until the day that you fall. [...] kill me if you dare, hold my head up everywhere. --underdog

.

inej.

i. i’m a princess cut from marble, smoother than a storm, and the scars that mark my body, they’re silver and gold. my blood is a flood of rubies, precious stones, it keeps my veins hot, the fire’s found a home in me. [...] and i’m locking up everyone who ever laid a finger on me. i’m done with it, oh, this is the start of how it all ends. --yellow flicker beat

ii. just how deep do you believe? will you bite the hand that feeds? will you chew until it bleeds? can you get up off your knees? are you brave enough to see? do you wanna change it?

iii. i know it’s a lie, i want it to be true. the rest of the ride is riding on you. [...] wishing you could keep me closer, i’m a lazy dancer, when you move i move with you. --collect call

iv. don’t look ahead, there’s stormy weather, another roadblock in our way. but if we go, we go together, our hands are tied here if we stay. oh, we said our dreams would carry us and if they don’t fly, we will run. now we push right past to find out how to win what they all lost. oh, we know that we want more, oh, the life we’re fighting for. [...] there are no rules that we can’t break. --disparate youth

v. as i move my feet towards your body, i can hear this beat, it fills my head up and gets louder and louder. i run to the river and dive straight in. i pray that the water will drown out the din. [...] there’s a drumming noise inside my head and it starts when you’re around. --drumming song

vi. shoot me down, but i get up. i’m bulletproof, nothing to lose. fire away, fire away. ricochet, you take your aim. fire away, fire away. shoot me down, but i won’t fall, i am titanium.

vii. you’ve been walking, you’ve been hiding, and you look half-dead half the time. monitoring you, like machines do, you’ve still got it, i’m just keeping an eye. you say too late to start, with your heart in a headlock. i don’t believe any of it.

viii. i’m in need of a savior, but i’m not asking for favors. my whole life i’ve felt like a burden, i think too much and i hate it. i’m so used to being in the wrong, i’m tired of caring. loving never gave me a home, so i’ll sit here in the silence. i found peace in your violence, can’t tell me there’s no point in trying. i’m at one, and i’ve been quiet for too long.

ix. i am running, i will meet you halfway. when i get there, will you be waiting for me? and i’m scared that you don’t feel the same. and after all, just how much can i take? heaven help me, i think i’m in love, i’m all in love with you. ‘cause i can’t help myself, i’m falling down, i’m falling hard for you.

x. i never promised you an open heart or charity, i never wanted to abuse your imagination. i come with knives, i come with knives and agony to love you.

xi. stooped down and out, you got me beggin’ for thread to sew this hole up that you ripped it my head. stupidly think you had it under control. strapped down to something you don’t understand, don’t know what you were getting yourself into. you should have known, secretly i think you knew.

xii. go row the boat to safer grounds, but don’t you know? we’re stronger now. my heart still beats, and my skin still feels. my lungs still breathe, my mind still fears. but we’re running out of time, all the echoes in my mind cry. there’s blood on your lies, the scars open wide. there is nowhere for you to hide, the hunter’s moon is shining. i’m running with the wolves tonight.

xiii. a falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. i screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it’s left me blind. the stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, you’ve left me in the dark. no dawn, no day, i’m always in this twilight, in the shadow of your heart. [...] i took the stars from my eyes and then i made a map, i knew that somehow i could find the way back. then i heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness, too. so i stayed in the darkness with you. --cosmic love

.

both/and.

i. shed a tear for each soul set free, but that’s what happens when you dance with me. pity the man who stands in my way, i’m a nightmare even in the day. i’d be wise with which words you say, ‘cause they could be the last breath you take. [...] call me a criminal, maybe, baby, i’m an outlaw. you know, i ain’t evil but i ain’t a saint.

ii. it’s my own design, it’s my own remorse. help me to decide. help me make the most of freedom, and of pleasure. nothing ever lasts forever. everybody wants to rule the world. there’s a room where the light won’t find you, holding hands while the walls come tumbling down. when they do i’ll be right behind you.

iii. i know you’ve suffered, but i don’t want you to hide. [...] i want to reconcile the violence in your heart, i want to recognize your beauty’s not just a mask. i want to exorcise the demons from your past. i want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart.

iv. you mean that much to me and it’s hard to show. gets hectic inside of me when you go. can i confess these things to you? well, i don’t know. embedded in my chest and it hurts to hold. i couldn’t spill my heart, my eyes gleam looking in from the dark. i walk out in stormy weather, hold my words, keep us together. steady walking but bound to trip, should release but just tighten my grip. night time, sympathize, i’ve been working on white lies. so i’ll tell the truth.

v. i, i came here in day, but i left here in darkness and found you, found you on the way. [...] your sins into me, oh my beautiful one. --silver and cold

vi. you wanna make me bad, make me bad. you wanna pay me back, pay me back. baby, it’s violence, violence. [...] but i like it like that.

vii. hey, baby, can you bleed like me? oh, come on baby, can you bleed like me? you should see my scars.

viii. i’m giving you a night call, to tell you how i feel. i’m gonna show you where it’s dark but have no fear. [...] there’s something inside you, it’s hard to explain. they’re talking about you, boy, but you’re still the same.

ix. you don’t wanna hurt me, but see how deep the bullet lies. unaware that i’m tearing you asunder, and there’s a thunder in our hearts, baby. so much hate for the ones we love, tell me we both matter, don’t we? [...] come on baby, come on, come on darling, let me steal this moment from you now. --running up that hill

x. feel my heart burning, deep inside, yearning. i know it is coming. a fettered heart, waking. tainted youth, fading. leave it all behind. delirious again, mesmerize my senses, souls entwine one more time.

xi. there is love in your body but you can’t get it out, it gets stuck in your head, won’t come out of your mouth. sticks to your tongue and it shows on your face, that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but you'll never know what a fool i have been. darling heart, i loved you from the start, but that’s no excuse for the state i am in. --hardest of hearts

xii. it’s fire, it’s freedom, it’s flooding open. it’s the preacher and the pulpit and your blind devotion. there’s something breaking at the brick of every wall, it’s holding all that you know. so tell me do you wanna go? where it’s covered in all the colored lights, where the runaways are running the nights. impossible comes true, it’s taking over you. [...] where the lost get found and we crown ‘em the circus king. --the greatest show

xiii. but if you’re troubled and hurt, what you got under your shirt will make them pay for the things they did. they said now, teenagers scare the living shit out of me. they could care less, as long as someone will bleed. so darken your clothes and strike a violent pose, maybe they’ll leave you alone, but not me. 

xiv. we are ready for the siege, we are armed up to the teeth. be careful how you live and breathe, release what’s broken underneath. how many times do you wanna die? how many ways do you wanna die? [...] you used to do a little but a little won’t fly, right before you hit your prime. that’s where we fell in love but not the first time. --the royal we

xv. and how can we win, when fools can be kings? don’t waste your time, or time will waste you. no one’s gonna take me alive. the time has come to make things right. you and i must fight for our rights, you and i must fight to survive. --knights of cydonia

xvi. look at me go, look at me high and low, look at me picking myself back up from the underground. i’ve died a few times before, i know what it’s like when i can’t see the light, i find a light of my own. [...] we were born alone, and we die alone. what a way to go, now i’m on my own. but i’m not sorry, no.

xvii. broken people, hollow and feeble, they’re rolling, rolling up the hill. [...] breaking in, in, in my eyes, i can’t see like this. i can’t let go, please help me down, i can’t be like this. --sweet

xviii. prey on the powerful, masters of the game, we run with wolves in the shadows, we chase ‘em down ‘til we’re face to face. [...] it’s in our blood, in our blood, in our veins. this is the world we made.

xix. and our lives are forever changed, we will never be the same. the more you change the less you feel. believe, believe in me. believe, believe that life can change, that you’re not stuck in vain. we’re not the same, we’re different tonight. [...] we’ll make things right, we’ll feel it all tonight. we’ll find a way to offer up the night tonight, the indescribable moments of your life, tonight. the impossible is possible tonight. believe in me as i believe in you, tonight.

[deanzboyfriend]

Joey, my moon and my stars, congrats on 200 Followers!💜I'm so happy for you, I legit can't stop smiling since I read that you reached your milestone😁

For the celebration:

Can you please do 🌙, 💛 (Lea is enough), 🎗 of Poe, ✨ (I love your handwriting sm), 💫 (I wanna know my vibe) and 💐 (fav color is hard, but I really like purp, CM, Hamilton, I listen to Lewis Capaldi, Girl in Red and James Arthur, like the whole CM characters and writing. Just pick what you can vibe with, I'll love it for sure) if it's not too much. If they are, just choose what you wanna do, I'm happy with anything and congrats again!💜✨

Thank you Lea 🥺 <3

🌙 - I’ll tell you a fun fact about me :)

I used to hate green beans with a passion but now I love to eat them when we have them (if they’re salted/seasoned ofc, otherwise they are gross)

💛 - I’ll make a playlist out of my liked songs on Spotify based on your url or name

L: Lovely? - Zanzey // E: Every Day - bo en // A: Adore you - Harry Styles

🎗 - give me a person/character/actor and I’ll make a doodle of them

(I kinda like it but I wish I had done a different shirt lol)

✨ - I will write you a handwritten note

💫 - I will tell you what color I think your lightsaber would be based on your vibes

I think your lightsaber would be yellow - you are a bright person, both in personality and in intellegence, and your lightsaber color would reflect that.

💐 - give your fav color + things you like and I’ll make you a moodboard <3

Hope you like it <3333

[rome5683]

My Secret Mate - Chapter One

-this is an original piece, not a work of fanfiction-

I sighed to myself, slightly dreading what today would bring as I sat up in bed. I started getting ready, thinking of what would happen by the end of my birthday. The thought of having someone to love wasn't troubling, but not being able to choose who they were was. I didn't mind about gender, but their personality. What if they liked country, or if they hated reggaeton? What if they were human?

Human mates weren't exactly rare, but also not very common at all. It was just harder to explain, harder to connect with certain things, though many others with human mates in my pack made it look easy. It must be horrible, maybe. Would it really matter? As soon as I found my mate, I'd be like a hormonal and love-driven twelve year old all over again. It wasn't always something to look forward to, but when I would look at the pairs in my pack, I longed for that understanding and love.

I stepped out of the steaming shower, drying myself off with a towel before applying some lotion. Hygiene was important, after all. I put my boxers on, then flossed and brushed my teeth as hard as I could. Anything could happen today.

Mouth wash, cologne, a black crew neck and ripped black jeans later, I was almost ready for today. I slipped on some black doc martens, before glancing myself at the mirror and undecided about what to do with my hair. It was a black and curly mess, but I simply ruffled it and shrugged it off.

I walked downstairs, slightly confused when I saw my mom and dad bickering over something in whisper. I was used to tuning people out to be polite, and it was rude to eavesdrop even though we couldn't help hearing what everybody was up to most of the time. Instead of trying to listen in, I speculated it was about the party I planned for tonight, they promised to stay away for the night after opening up the party with ground rules and cutting the birthday cake. I had passed out fliers last week, so a lot of people from the pack and my high school were going. I was excited, the big eighteen was here, but I was still dreading finding my mate. What if they were cruel? What if they rejected me first? They were too many factors that had me buzzing with nervousness.

Mom gave me a stern look as I sat down in front of a plate of pancakes, "Xavi," her small accent barely showed on the usual, but when she said my name like that, it was prominent. The usual spelling of my popular name was with a 'J', but my mom decided to be original and put an 'X' instead. Most kids pronounced it wrong which I didn't mind, but if my mom heard them pronounce it differently, she would lose her shit. "I know it's your birthday, but you still need to eat your oats and your vegetables." She placed a bowl of oatmeal and a different bowl of carrots in front of me.

I groaned, "Can't you just give me bacon like dad?"

My dad smirked, biting into the strip of his bacon with a satisfied moan. I rolled my eyes and my mom shrugged, "Or we could cancel the party. It's up to you."

I scowled, biting the carrot with emphasized distaste. It was funny at times, how my petite mom could control us so easily with a simple look or statement, but she was no joke. She was the scariest, most loving mother around. The fact I was having this party was a miracle, but I guess she was feeling extra loving when she had said yes. Or maybe she thought it'd be better to find my mate with everybody from school there.

"So, you excited for today?"

I raised an eyebrow, "Yeah. I mean, it's gonna be the biggest party ever. And right at the beginning of October, it's gonna be sick."

My dad scoffed, "You know that's not what she meant."

My mom sucked in her teeth, scolding me. "Are you seriously not looking forward to meeting your mate?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, I don't wanna be someone I'm not just because I met them. Do I even have a choice in loving them? If I reject them, pain. If they reject me, pain. What's the point? Why is this even a thing?"

My dad sighed, "I know what you mean. Your mom and I had a very complicated start, but it worked out. It can suck, feeling like you don't have a choice at times. But the moon goddess knew what she was doing, and we're really good together."

"But it's like they have control over you!" I felt the frustration engulf me, making me dread the moment I'd meet them. "Everything they do is gonna affect me, and it just isn't fair."

My mom placed a hand on my shoulder as I continued to eat, and my parents were silent as I stood up to put my dishes in the sink. The whole tension dissipated as my two siblings walked into the room, and my parents perked up. Monsè entered the room with a yawn, all dressed up for school in a baggy sweater and skinny jeans. She was fifteen, and usually rode with me to school. My brother, Lance, was just sixteen, a year and a couple months older than Monsè, and liked to ride with his friend Keith.

"Good morning!" My mom chirped as she placed their plates on the table, asking if they were going to attend the party and that if they screwed up anything, to make sure to let her know because she hated secrets.

I motioned to my sister to hurry up as I got my backpack by the door, and got the keys from a little dish next to the couch. I leaned against the arm of the sofa, taking out my phone and texting Lindsay to wait for me to pick her up before she went to school. She was my best friend, and was practically my sandbox buddy since we were four. I usually went to her before anyone else, she had a good level-head on her shoulders, and was better for asking advice than most of my other male friends. I also made sure to text Trent, my other good friend and his sister, Bella, my occasional hook-up (make-out session) when I was lonely, to meet up at our usual cafe. They were all werewolves, so it was easy to confide and trust in them. A tap on the shoulder made me turn, and I ruffled my sister's hair. "Let's get going, gremlin."

She whispered with a scowl, "Yeah, okay bitch."

"MONSE! YOU BETTER PRAY YOU GET IN THE CAR BEFORE I GET TO YOU!"

Her eyes widened before she sprinted out the door, and I chuckled as I followed her into the car. My car was a truck, so it was a little difficult for Monsè to climb in the passenger side, but she managed. I connected my phone to the aux cord and put my playlist on. My sister rolled her eyes as 'Take Me Out' by Franz Ferdinand played, though I could see her tapping her feet to the beat which made me smirk.

Lindsay jumped in the backseat with ease, "Hey, boomer. Hey, Monsè."

"Hey, Lindsay!" Monsè chirped energetically and turned around, smiling with a blush spreading over her cheeks.

I laughed, "Where's my gift?"

"Oh." She pretended to pull something out of her backpack, then pulled out her middle finger with a Cheshire grin. "Almost forgot."

Monsè laughed, holding the back of her hand against her mouth.

"Oh, thanks. Was missing that in my life, actually." I looked in the rear view mirror, noticing she didn't have her seatbelt. I kept driving down the street towards the cafe, it was an hour before school, around six pm, which was why the street wasn't that full and I felt confident to be able to pull a prank on her.

"Brake check!" I suddenly braked as I pulled into the lot, having Lindsay hit her head on the passenger seat with a loud screech. Monsè gasped, her seatbelt scratching against her neck as she was pulled forward.

"Agh! Son of a bitch-"

"Xavi! What the hell?" Monsè gave me a dirty look.

"I'm so sorry, guys. You okay?" I made my voice sound sickening sweet, and high pitched in order to sound as fake as possible. Monsè snickered lowly, not wanting to be so upfront about laughing at Lindsay. Lindsay was somewhat of a role model for her, and they talked all the time. I low-key suspected Monsè had a crush on her, which was cute but slightly sad since Lindsay was way too old for her. But, who knows?

We pulled up to our usual cafe at the corner of Maple and Lunescape. I parked in front, all of us talking about what we'll order when we get inside as we got off the car.

Lindsay huffed, "See, I haven't tried the pecan pie shake, but I also haven't tried the Pumpkin Maple Syrup Mocha, which I hear a lot of good things about.

I hummed in thought, "Well, it depends who you're hearing this from. They could be trying to sabotage you."

Monsè scoffed, "And why would they do that, Xavi?"

I shrugged, "Hey, you never know. Plus, pecan is a legit flavor and it can never really do you wrong."

Lindsay sighed, "Yeah, but I get pecan like every other day. I've never tried the pumpkin one... Oh, the tough choices in life. They plague me."

Monsè chuckled, "However will you survive?"

I shook my head as I held the door to the cafe open for them, "You're too indecisive. Just go for it if it's bothering you that badly. If anything, I'll drink it if you don't like the pumpkin."

Lindsay gasped, "Oh my god, yes!"

She raced to the counter along with Monsè as I saw Trent and Bella wave me over to their booth. I approached them with a grin, giving Trent a high five and a fist bump, while nodding my head towards Bella in acknowledgement.

"Trent. Bells. How's everything?" I sat across from them, scooting towards the window.

Trent shrugged, "Nothing new. How about you, birthday boy? Excited to find your mate?"

Bells smiled, "Happy birthday, by the way."

"Thanks." I glanced over to Lindsay and Monsè to see them walking over with our drinks and pastries, "About the mate thing, it's whatever. Whether it happens or not, I'm fine."

Trent scoffed, "You're so weird, sometimesc. Everyone else in the pack looks forward to this their whole lives." He took an angry bite of his chocolate muffin, then swallowed before continuing. "I mean, even humans write stories about this kinda shit!"

Lindsay giggled as she squeezed into the booth on my side with Monsè, "Talking about mates again?"

I glanced at Bella, noticing she was intentionally staying silent. She looked up at me and blushed suddenly when our eyes met. I looked away, sighing exasperatedly. "Dude, I just don't think it's cool how we're forced to love someone. We have no choice but to be attracted to them."

Monsè groaned, "Because they're perfect for you!"

"Well, it's not really love at first sight. It's more like you subtly like them, and as you get to know them, you start to fall in love. Like normal people. Just think of it as a suggestion that they might be good for you." Bella smiles encouragingly, placing a hand on mine. "I'm sure your mate will be lovely."

I hastily pulled away, annoyed with the conversation. Seeing the slight expression of hurt on her face from the corner of my eye made me feel guilty, but I ignored the feeling. "I'm just gonna flat-out reject them, I honestly don't care."

Trent winced, "Isn't that supposed to be super painful?"

"He's always been a masochist." Lindsay rolled her eyes, sipping her Pumpkin Maple Syrup Mocha with glee.

Bella murmured under her breath, "Not really."

Everyone suddenly groaned, and I gave a small and playful glare to Bella.

Monsè faked a gag, "I just started my life. Please don't make me commit the 'not-alive' so soon."

Trent made a low growl, pulling his head back and closing his eyes as he faced the ceiling in an overdramatic manner. "Please tell me you guys aren't fooling around anymore. I do not wanna picture that."

Silence. He glared pointedly at me, "Are you?”

I stayed quiet, simply eating my strawberry and cheese croissant as I also avoided eye contact.

Trent cursed, "Fuck, man! Dude, she's my twin! How could you make out with someone that looks like me?"

I gave him a deadpanned stare as I sipped my boysenberry pie shake. The only sound was the slurping from my straw, and Trent narrowed his eyes at my both nonchalant and smug face. Bella looked at him confused, "We're fraternal, not identical."

He scowled, "Identical or not, this stops today. One, you guys are gonna have mates who you might not reject. Two, she's my sister. It's not cool, man. Three, do you not remember why you guys stopped fooling around in the first place?"

Bella's glared at her brother, "That was before."

Trent gave her a deadpanned stare this time, "Sure it was."

I shook my head, hating the awkward atmosphere that suddenly entered the booth. Last year, Bella had caught feelings during our arrangement, which caused a lot of confusion for me, and hurt for her. I ended it promptly after a huge scolding from her brother about playing around with her. He was the future beta of our pack, so I had to listen. But then she said she was over it now, so of course I believed her, since she was also a beta and somewhat had to believe her. But I wasn't that sure now.

I broke the awkward silence, "It's not like I'm sleeping with her, Trent. And even if I wanted to, I'm gonna reject my mate today. Maybe then I could choose who I wanna be with, whether it be physically or for life."

He took another angry bite, speaking with his mouth full, "Anf shwat if she doeshnt reshect hersh?"

I shrugged, "Thats up to her. Either way, I'd be free to do what I want."

Bella smiled to herself, and I cursed internally. I didn't want to hurt her, and I almost wanted to call it quits right then and there, but not for the reason you think, not for my 'mate'. Even though I could be physically 'lonely', it didn't mean I wanted to be forced to be with someone, whether it be Bella or my mate. The worst part was, there was no guarantee that I could reject my mate. Though I was determined to, there's no way to be able to predict what I'll think or act when I meet them. Though, the same thing could happen with Bella, so in reality, we were both in the same boat. Except I didn't have feelings for her in that way, I didn't have a desire to be in a relationship with her. She is physically appealing, but that was it. Sometimes I thought there was something wrong with me, she was kind and smart. Who wouldn't fall in love with her?

Me.

Lindsay changed the subject with ease, "So who's ready for that statistics test today?"

Trent groaned, "Is that today?"

Monsè went on her phone, not entirely interested or knowledgeable about what we were talking about since she was two grades lower than us. Bella shrugged, "I take AP calculus, so can't relate.

I smirked, "I studied, hard."

Lindsay raised an eyebrow, "That's a first."

I shrugged, "I wanna change my fate. I'm changing my life, one step at a time." Trent snickered as he heard my claims, "First, better than average grades. Second, no mate."

Monsè laughed, "Good luck with that one."

I scowled, "Mark my words. By the end of today, my mate is going to be rejected."

Monsè gave a cynical smile and a thumbs up, "Yeah, you're cool." Her smile dropped into a stoic face, "Can we go to school now before we're late? We've been here for forty minutes-"

I nodded, grabbing my keys and shooing them, Lindsay and Monsè, off my side of the booth. Trent and Bella stood up, walking with us outside.

"How about we make a bet Lindsay?"

She huffed, "You really think you'll win?"

I raised my eyebrows up and down with a grin, "Whoever gets a higher grade on the statistics test wins. Whoever loses has to drink five shots of tequila tonight."

Lindsay smirked, "You're on, bitch."

"Hell yeah." Trent patted me on the shoulder, "I'll join you guys in that."

I shook my head, knowing there was barely a chance for him to win. Not that he was an idiot or anything, but he didn't really try a lot in school. He rarely studied, but he always managed to get a passing grade. A higher score than Lindsay or me, though? Not really. "You know you only wanna take shots."

He shrugged, "Maybe. Or maybe I just wanna beat your ass."

I sighed, "Never gonna happen."

Trent chuckled, "What if I used my awesome beta powers to force you to lose?"

I scoffed, "They're barely worth anything. I'd just tell Ryder you're abusing your power."

Ryder was our pack's, which was named Blood Moon after his great-grandfather's threatening intimidating ways, future alpha. He was cool, and we hung out with him every other day, but right now he was out of town with his parents for a little family bonding. Since he was going to find his mate soon, his parents wanted to spend some more time with him. That's what they told the pack, at least, but Trent had told me that there might have been more to it, like how the humans were suspicious of something. I didn't pay too much mind, Trent was known to have conspiracy theories from time to time.

"He'd just join me!" Trent laughed.

I grinned as I unlocked the car for Lindsay and Monsè, "Fuck yeah, he would. But at least then it'd be a fair fight."

Trent flipped me off as he unlocked his car too, opening the door for his sister. "Race you to school?"

I shrugged as I sat down and closed the door, starting the car. I rolled the window down with a nonchalant expression, "For twenty?"

"I'm feeling charitable. Make it forty."

I smirked, "On your mark."

His face went into panic as he raced to his side, "I'm not even in the car yet-"

I raised a brow, "Get set."

He jumped into the driver's side, slamming the door.

"Go!" His engine roared to life as I reversed out of the lot, swerving to go forward towards the school. I wasn't confident I'd win, his car was faster than mine, which was why I cheated and took a small head start. He had a black sports car, I didn't really know what kind and I didn't care. My truck could be fast if I pushed the limit, which was okay since there wasn't a lot of people on the road. Save for some here and there.

Trent passed me with ease, smirking my way. I huffed, pressing the gas harder.

Lindsay held onto the dash board, "Damn, you really wanna win, huh?"

Monsè chuckled, "It's nice to see how testosterone can be fun."

I clenched my jaw, focused on the cars ahead of us. I didn't wanna break any laws besides maybe the speed limit, so I changed lanes to the right. It was a small detour, but with the red light, I could turn into another street and possibly beat him.

I laughed as I turned into another street, him stuck on the same one. I turned left, waiting for the green light, then left again. I sped more seeing the school just ahead, skidded just ahead of Trent's car, and into the lot with ease.

I parked right by the entrance, turning off the engine as I hopped out of the car. I saw Trent's car pull into the space next to me right after I pulled into mine, and I grinned smugly as I leaned against my car. He sighed, closing his car door and sauntered over with hurt pride.

"Listen..."

I held back a laugh, biting my lip. "I'm all ears."

"You're an asshole. And you cheated so..."

I held my hands up, "You never spoke about any rules, so..."

"Well-"

"Yeah?"

"I don't have forty on me right now-"

"What do you have, Trent?" I furrowed my brows, and squared my shoulders. I was putting on a front, of course. I held my hand out expectantly.

Lindsay placed her arm on my left shoulder as she cocked her head, "Yeah, Trent. What do you have?"

Monsè and Bella walked over, grinning at the spectacle. Trent wasn't always one to lose in our races, so it was a rare sight to see, which was why I was being so smug.

He rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling a twenty and a ten out of his wallet. He slapped them into my hand, "Fuck you."

I smiled, "Maybe when I reject my mate."

Trent playfully punched my shoulder, "Don't threaten me with a good time."

Lindsay shook her head, "You guys are something else."

Bella patted my shoulder, "So, you guys are a cute couple."

"Hey. Are you making fun of us?" We walked through the door and into the first hallway, and the faintest smell of something amazing filled my nose. I couldn't tell what it was, but something in me just had to find out.

"Maybe." She held her hands behind her back with a sly smile, "So wanna meet up during study hall?"

My wolf stirred, his gruff voice echoing in my mind. Mate. I froze, my heart skipping a beat. I could sense it. They were here.

"Hey, man. You good?" Trent's voice faded into the background.

I don't know what it was that made me ignore her and lightly jog down the hall. When I turned into another hallway, the smell got stronger, and I jogged a little faster. I could detect apple cinnamon, but not the strong kind, the kind you eat in oatmeal, and maybe some... I couldn't pinpoint the other smell. I walked into another hallway, I wasn't even focused on where I was at this point, and came up to a row of lockers. One locker was open, and I knew the smell was coming from there... from them.

The locker closed. My breath hitched, and I saw the most beautiful male I've ever seen in my life. I could hear my inner wolf howl at the sight of him. His hair was chocolate brown, and a straight, disheveled mess. He had a slight fade on the side of his hair, and his eyes were a solid dark green. His complexion was slightly pale but very clear, with prominent cheekbones, and with the slightest plump to his lips. His jaw was pretty clean, not super sharp to stand out, but enough to be defined. He wasn't much shorter than me, maybe by an inch, and his stature was slightly less muscular than mine. He was wearing a blue long sleeved v-neck, blue skinny jeans, and some vans. He looked to me, startled to see me blatantly staring at him, and I blinked in realization. Oh god. Oh no, fuck no. He's human. I can't just reject him without being a weirdo now. Why? I didn't expect my mate to be so... fucking ravishing. That's not the point. Jesus help me.

"Hey! Um, you must be wondering what I'm doing here... staring at you."

He let out a melodic laugh during the awkward tension, "A little bit, yeah."

"Well, I was gonna, um," I came to a blank, speaking without really thinking, "I was wondering if you heard about this party I'm having tonight."

His eyebrows raised a little, "I think I've heard about it, yeah."

"Oh, cool." I leaned against the lockers, biting my lip without really wanting to. I was flirting without even meaning to, "So, you going?"

"Maybe." He shrugged, "I'm not really sure."

I chuckled, "You see, it's my birthday. So you kind of have to go."

He laughed, "Is that so? Happy birthday, then."

"Thanks. Yeah, it'd be kind of a dick move not to go." I liked the playful banter, I felt my heart beat faster, and a warm feeling spread throughout my body.

"What if I want to be a dick?" That made me laugh, maybe a little harder than I should.

"Well... damn. That sucks. I was hoping I'd get to know you." His expression changed from playful to astonished, and maybe a slight blush forming on his face. Maybe. "No. Wait. That came out wrong. I mean, it's my senior year, and I wanna... meet new people. Broaden my horizons..."

"Oh. Yeah, no. I get it." He leaned his shoulder against the locker, tapping his finger against his backpack strap in thought. "Um, I'll think about it."

"Yeah." I walked a little backwards, "You better, because it's my birthday, so..."

He nodded, a smirk lining his face as he turned away. Jesus, even his backside was attractive. I felt a part of me curse, and a part of me felt so elated right now. I wanted to go punch something, to run and jump, I couldn't decide.

The warning bell for first period rang, and I tensed. Statistics was next. I'd have to answer why I ran off, though I suspected they knew the answer why.

I walked in just in time, sitting next to my usual seat next to Lindsay, Trent, and some girl whose name I could hardly remember. She was friendly, I guess.

I looked around, wondering if he was in my class. Was he in any of my other classes? The fact I'd never noticed him before should be illegal. A snap in my face got my attention, and I looked to Lindsay in confusion.

"What's up?" She frowned at me, practically glaring.

"What's up? What do you mean, 'what's up'?" She scoffed, her auburn hair swaying to the side as she looked to Trent as if to make sure she wasn't tripping out. She raised her pierced eyebrow at me, "What was earlier all about?"

I sighed, knowing I couldn't exactly lie to her. I debated on staying quiet, but knew she'd just bother me until I fessed up. "I met them."

She gasped excitedly, "You're kidding!"

"Miss Pierce! Is there something you'd like to share as I do roll-call?" Mr. Damocles was a burly man, frowning as he pushed up his glasses. Trent snickered.

Lindsay sighed, "Sorry, Mr. Damocles."

He continued to do roll-call, and she spoke in a whisper. "So, tell me what happened."

"Tell us." Trent corrected her.

I shook my head, mostly disappointed in my lack of resolve when it came to wanting to reject my mate. "I don't know his name..."

Lindsay's eyes widened, "It's a guy. Oh my god, yes. Was he cute?"

I failed to hide my smile, "Yeah. He had these eyes..." Thinking about them made my stomach do flips, "And his lips. Jesus, I couldn't believe I never noticed him before."

Trent scoffed, a smirk tugging at his lips. "You are so whipped. What happened? Did you... you know?"

I looked down, not really knowing if I planned to anymore. If I even wanted to anymore.

"Xavier Ramon."

I raised my hand, signaling my presence. Mr. Damocles continued roll-call, and Lindsay groaned impatiently.

"Well? What happened?"

I scratched the back of my neck, "I, uh..." I closed my eyes, slightly embarrassed as I replayed the scene in my head. "I asked him to the party tonight."

I heard a small chuckle, and I frowned at both Lindsay and Trent. "What?"

She looked to Trent with a grin, "I give it a month before he marks him."

"I give it three." He shrugged, "It takes time to build up a relationship like that."

"It doesn't have to happen during sex, Trent. It can be during a make out session or something."

I scoffed, "Nobody said I was going to accept him right off the bat-"

"But you're not rejecting him either." Trent smugly grabbed paper from the girl passing them out, and passed them to us as well. "So three months it is. Denial is a huge factor."

"I change mine to a month and a half."

I rolled my eyes, "Well, they're human, so it's a little more difficult. Plus, I just wanna know who I'm rejecting before I... reject them."

They both laughed, and I cursed under my breath. This whole mate situation was going to be a bitch.

——

@kaiparker-islife @fandom-strumpet @1-800-khaleesii @kaiparkercumslut @itssdiana

Pls reblog, like, and review ❤️

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Eurovision 2021 final thoughts

Well.....it’s over.

It feels great, but also kinda weird to be done with it. I mean, it took an extra year to get here! But I’d say it was worth the wait....

Holy CRAP this year was good. Oh my god, this was SO much fun to watch! The presentation, voting, and especially the songs were unbelievably strong! It made me so happy that my bad luck in the semifinals didn’t even let me down all that much, so that’s a good sign. XD

I haven’t shared this before, cuz I didn’t wanna be a downer, but.....there was a part of me that was worried. Even after listening to and loving the majority of the entries, I was still worried that, when the show started, there’d be some kind of big tell that....this wasn’t a “normal” Eurovision. Something that would bring my enjoyment of the show down to a level where....I-I’d only be able to say “at least it took place, but it wasn’t as strong as usual”. That small, pessimistic part of me that was so hurt by last year that it’d become cynical, and scared of getting hopes up.....but I hid it. I love this contest so much that....bringing down the mood for my fellow fans wouldn’t be cool at all.

And thankfully.....I came out of this with a big smile on my face like normal. I enjoyed this year just as much as previous years! In terms of the songs alone, I’d seriously call this one of my favorite years, probably just behind 2016 (my favorite year). The fact that I don’t just agree with the winner, but I LOVE the winner, was definitely the icing on the cake! But the presentation was also outstanding! It really feels like everything was put into this contest to make it as enjoyable as possible with the limitations they were given. The interval acts were great, especially getting to see so many of the winners again! The rooftop concerts in the final were a lot of fun. But, as good as everything in the final was.....When the first semifinal started, and I saw that there was a crowd, coupled with the song that Duncan sang, I legit thought I was gonna cry. That’s definitely gonna stick with me in the future when I think of the most memorable moments of watching Eurovision. I could seriously go on and on about how much I enjoyed watching this....so I will!

Oh god the voting. OH GOD THE VOTING. Tense as always, and I loved it! No clear favorite, the juries making decisions the televoters didn’t agree with, a plethora of different countries getting twelves, and an ending that proved my predictions wrong in the best way possible. It was the BEST way to end the contest, and a very good example of why I’m really loving having the jury vote and televote separated....cuz you never know what’ll happen until the very! Last! Moment!

Seriously, that moment of Finland’s televoting result making them in the lead for a brief period was AWESOME. And then it was Ukraine, and then it was Italy, and I was thinking “oh god slow down, my poor heart-” And yeah, there were SO many great songs and great performances that it really did feel like a close race! 

Even rewatching it was exhilarating! Rewatching it also made me appreciate things that I didn’t before (due to being, well....too caught up in the moment). Like, the wide range of music genres in the top five! I hope this inspires more diversity in future years! I mean, you got Italy bringing us rock (which, by the way, never dies), you got France bringing us a classic waltz, you got Switzerland bringing us a powerful modern ballad, you got Iceland bringing us disco, and you got Ukraine bringing us.....well, a friend of mine called it “folktronica”, and yeah, I don’t think there’s a word that describes them better. XD

Not only that, but there’s one more interesting thing about this top five! Can you guess what it is?

......

......Yeah, only one of them’s in English! Imagine that, entries that DON’T have to be in English to become big hits! Seriously, I’m American and even I know that having understandable lyrics is really more of a nice bonus in Eurovision. What’s most important is having a song that sounds good. And if a song sounds best in another language, you don’t have to translate it for the contest! (Especially if it results in obvious ESL that loses the song’s original meaning, but that thankfully hasn’t happened often) Don’t be afraid to send songs in your native language! I hope people learn from this...

(But then again, this has happened before.....In 2007, the winning song wasn’t in English, runner-up was in multiple languages and third place was also not in English, so....I’m probably putting too much emphasis on this, s-sorry >.<)

But enough about the top five, let’s look at the full results:

I’ll say it again.....this is my favorite winner since “Heroes”. I love the Italian entry, and I’m very happy that they proved me wrong. I didn’t think they could do it. Not only is it a rock song, which isn’t to everyone’s tastes....but it’s from Italy, who seemed to be cursed to never win even while sending fan-favorites year after year. Two second places (oneofwhichwasunserved*cough*2011*cough*butIdigress), one third place that also won the televote that year, and one very, very robbed sixth place. I thought this was gonna be another one of those cases where Italy get screwed somehow by other, more popular songs. But I still absolutely loved the song and rooted for it anyway, and......lo and behold, here we are. A rock song won Eurovision. A rock song in Italian. And it’s awesome, and I couldn’t be happier! To be specific, they were my fourth favorite in the final, but they were my favorite of the possible winners, so it still feels like the best case scenario! Woo!

Having the runner-up also from the Big Five is kinda surreal, since save for Italy they’re usually all underrated due to not having to pass through a semifinal (with exceptions like Germany 2018 and Spain 2012 and 2014). That’s a cool way of looking at this, since.....I’m sorry, but I never got the hype behind France’s song.....It was well-performed, but.....I just find it kinda boring, save for the ending. I-I feel bad that I couldn’t make myself love it, cuz I wanted to, but I just....couldn’t. I guess it’s a case of me being too stupid to get it, pffffff. But I don’t dislike it, so I’m fine with it being the runner-up.

Switzerland won the jury vote and achieved their highest placement since.....*looks it up*....1993, geez.....AKA, their highest placement since I started watching. XD This is FAR from my favorite entry of theirs, but I still like it fine and I’m happy to see Switzerland do well. It was a powerful song. And, unlike other jury-pleasers like the Austrian entry in 2018 and the Macedonian entry in 2019, they actually got a triple-digit score from the televote! They were loved all around! The same goes for France, so....that makes the most obvious “jury bait”, uh....Portugal, I guess. XD

Iceland came fourth, and.....can I just say how bad I feel for those guys? From having a potential win snatched from under them by last year’s cancellation, to one of them getting Covid the day before their semifinal, making them the only act that couldn’t perform live, it felt like Iceland couldn’t catch a break. But thankfully, due to their very strong rehearsals, they were able to rise above it and come fourth PURELY based on the strength of their song. Heck YEAH, what a beautiful ending to this story. They weren’t one of my personal favorites, but it was still a very cute song, and it DESERVES its placing just so much.

Ukraine’s song was one that only got better and better for me over time, and it was also the favorite song of a friend of mine, so seeing them in the top five makes me happy too! That’s a FUN song, and it’s near universally loved, so I wasn’t too surprised. I did guess that it had a chance at pulling off the win, but the competition was too strong. In a weaker year, they probably would’ve done it.

I’m really happy to say this next one: Finland came sixth! WOOOOOO! Their first top ten result since Lordi’s win and awwwww MAN do they deserve it. Such an awesome, intense song! It was my favorite song in the final, and I wasn’t alone! They brought the roof off the place, and for good dang reason! Seeing Finland do so well after being so underrated for so long.....it makes me very happy to see that happen. Especially with a song as amazing as “Dark Side”. It’s now a permanent part of my playlist, and I love it. <3 Empire of the freaks, all drinks on ME!

(I stand by the fact that Finland should just keep sending rock songs to Eurovision. They’re clearly very good at making those)

Now, Malta coming seventh.....hmmm....I have some problems with this? I mean, pre-contest favorites not doing as well as predicted HAS happened before (oh, hello 2017), but that doesn’t mean I’m not a little surprised? I really do think they deserved to do a bit better.....I thought that was a top five-worthy song and performance.....I’m happy with the top five we got, but I didn’t think Iceland and Ukraine would place over Malta! Destiny had one of the best voices of the show! If I had to guess, it was because they performed so early? Or maybe people just overhyped the heck out of it and it got old. I dunno. Seventh is still good for Malta. So yeah, it’s not bad, just a bit surprising.

Lithuania in eighth, I pretty much called. I knew that was a top ten song. Still couldn’t beat LT United’s record though, pfffffff.....Guess Lithuania have to try even harder to do that. XD Russia was another one I knew would be in the top ten. Their song had a very strong message that sticks with you. Lithuania and Russia may not have been favorites of mine, but I can’t complain with their results at all.

And finally, rounding out the top ten is my second-favorite, Greece, tied with Bulgaria! I’m more than happy with this result for Greece - I would’ve liked to see them do a BIT better, but a top ten finish is a top ten finish, and the competition was really strong. Their entry was still fantastic! A powerful song I can’t get enough of AND the best staging of the year. You can’t say Greece didn’t try their hardest!

As for Bulgaria....not complaining. It was a fan-favorite for a while, but for me, it was a song that I loved the lyrics to, but not much else. I did think it’d do a bit better purely because of how relatable the lyrics were, but with this competition? This was the best they were gonna get. XD A slow song in a sea of high energy-performances. Makes it stand out, but not necessarily be what people wanna hear.

The same is true for Portugal, who had the other slower song. THIS was the “jury bait”. XD Seeing how many points the jury gave them compared to the televote....wasn’t all that surprising. It’s not a bad song at all. It’s actually pretty good. And twelfth is a good result for Portugal. I think they can be happy with that. “Jury bait” isn’t a bad thing at all, cuz I’ve liked plenty of songs that’ve had similar results (I’ve even loved a couple of them)

Moldova were a surprise for me. I honestly expected them to place toward the bottom. Their entry was fun, sure, but I didn’t think it....stood out all that much? I feel like it was missing something staging-wise. Moldova’s entries usually have really creative staging, so yeah, maybe I just felt a bit let down. But the song’s good. It just....was a party song in a sea of them. XD

Now Sweden, on the other hand.....I’m actually not surprised THAT much. Yeah, I did at first predict that it’d finish in the top ten, cuz....well, it’s Sweden, and the song was good and seemed to be popular. But after the first semifinal, reading comments and posts from fans really made me realize just how many people....don’t like “Voices”? It’s been called generic a lot, and.....well, I don’t agree. I think it’s a very good song. But I’m just one person and yeah, seeing the popular opinion of it just drop like that made me change my mind on calling it a top ten song. XD Not gonna act like seeing Sweden on the right side of the board (even at the top of it) isn’t still a bit weird, though....

Serbia, I thought would do better. I thought they’d be higher than Moldova at least. That was a big crowd-pleaser and a great hype song. I didn’t think it’d be a front-runner or anything, but I did think it’d be on the left side of the board. I can’t even say that it being in Serbian held it back, cuz this year proves that non-English songs can and will be fan-favorites. So.....I dunno what happened there.

After Serbia are two other party songs, Cyprus and Israel. I have nothing really to say about Israel. I thought they’d do about this well. And Cyprus, I’m kinda bummed didn’t do better, since it was a GREAT performance - it was enough to win me over, when it was a very hit-and-miss song for me before the contest - but going first when already there were a lot of party songs to compete with probably did them in. Oh, and the people who think parts of the song are annoying, like......I did for a while.....ahem. >__>

Then we come to Norway.....who were my third-favorite. At first, I was kinda....OK, very surprised at how they did, especially when it came to the juries. But after learning that they were only five points away from not qualifying for the final.....I’m just happy they were there. I’m happy I got to hear that song in the final. It’s obviously not to everyone’s tastes, so I shouldn’t have expected it to do well. I was just a bit hopeful. As it is, I love the song, and it’s currently one of my go-to songs to sing to myself. XD (Also, TIX is an icon)

Belgium getting only three points from the televote was painful, since I did like their entry a lot......but I can’t act like I didn’t at least kinda see it coming. Even though I liked them, I was still surprised they even made it to the final. XD With such strong competition, a band just standing there and singing a downbeat song? Yeah, this was as good as they were gonna do. Still a very cool song, but standing out was always gonna be an issue for them. They also performed really early on, so that probably didn’t help.

Azerbaijan....oh Azerbaijan.....how did they do you like that. Seriously, down in twentieth? What are they doing in twentieth!? They were one of the best of the upbeat songs! They stood out! I’d put them above Cyprus and Israel easily! I don’t understand that.....I do understand Albania though. They were pretty much doomed. Barely qualified for the final, and then stuck in second position. Ouch. Kinda unfortunate, since I actually like Albania’s song a bit more now after hearing it live....

I really, really, REALLY wanted San Marino to do better. I was HOPING they’d do better. They were clearly trying really hard this year. The little country that could, pffff....And if you ask me, “Adrenalina” is probably the most solid song they’ve ever sent (I say this as someone who loves “Spirit Of The Night”, for the record), so I thought it deserved to give them their best result ever. But....nah. It did worse than “Say Na Na Na” because....I dunno.....Serhat funny? That’s all I got....seriously, it’s unfortunate. The dream should’ve done better than the meme. XD

And we finally come to the flops.....the four countries that got nul from the televote, all automatic qualifiers. Seriously, why did FOUR countries get nul? At least three were saved by the juries, but if you ask me, it was still unfair.....

The Netherlands are the one I easily have the hardest time understanding. Germany, while I found their song funny, I can easily see why people would find it annoying (I DID think the televote would like them MORE than the juries though?), and I was not expecting them to do well, because it didn’t seem like they were trying to do well. They were just having fun. Spain, well.....a good singer does not a good entry make. It’s the Eurovision SONG Contest, not Singer Contest. If the song fails to stand out, you’re doomed. I was impressed by their performance, but it’s still just a ballad. It’s sad when you know the story behind it, though....And with the UK, it was a party song in a sea of party songs. It had TOUGH competition.

But....the Netherlands? Why the CRAP didn’t they get points from the televote? While not one of my absolute favorites, that was a darn good song and a great live performance. What happened? I don’t understand! There was nothing else that sounded like that! It was unique and sounded great, wh- my brain hurts....

On the UK getting nul overall though, I do have some complaints. Sure, it failed to stand out, but to score nothing? A bit unfair, isn’t it? I mean, there was nothing wrong with the song or the performance at all! It was the most fun song the UK have sent in years! I liked hearing a fun song from them! And c’mon, they’ve sent a lot worse before and still got points. “Still In Love With You” got points. That was debatably a joke song. “Love Will Set You Free” got points. That was a boring ballad. Heck, even flipping “That Sounds Good To Me” - it came last, but it at least got SOME points! And that song was CRAP.

Now, thankfully, I didn’t love this song nearly as much as I loved “Bigger Than Us”, so I’m not super salty about it or anything. I’m not gonna rant about the UK coming last again. I’m just.....a bit baffled by the nul. Geez, UK, who did you piss off? Eh, it’s not the end of the world or anything.....and I’ve been through good songs getting nul before (....”Black Smoke”....forever confused TT__TT)

It does make me a bit....hesitant....to track down the BBC commentary for this show. I usually love watching it that way, and it’s my preferred way to rewatch Eurovisions. And usually, Graham is a really good sport about the UK’s poor results (even when coming in last like 2010), but....how’d he handle a nul? XD I hope he didn’t overly praise the song....

So......yeah, that’s about it! I’ve missed rambling about Eurovision, and now.....it’s over! It was a good year, and I had a great time. It truly was a ride. Here’s hoping next year in Italy will be just as fun.

Until next year!

[dear-yandere]

—ask collection!

a collection of mostly very old chats and sweet asks that i never got around to answering! thanks for the patience and love!! 

beware, fairly long post... woops....

chat asks.

darling: Eu-jin is best boy. Change my mind.

vanya: i am physically incapable of fulfilling that request, how dare you do that to me... i’m biased since he’s my own oc, but i would die for my (very best) boy eu-jin... who can resist such a gentle yandere that loves you so whole-heartedly?

that reminds me! he’s actually based off of kuroyuki and gekkamaru from the otome nightshade, so if you want similar characters by any chance, do check them and the game out ♡

darling: I was watching the dub for Part 5 of JoJo's Bizarre adventure yesterday...Mista called himself Daddy and I like- sdfghjfgsdhnhnmj!! My heart can't take this--

vanya: WAIT HE DID???? i’m not even big on daddy kink and reading that made me go 😳 this is vital information to know... what episode was this??? for research purposes, of course. gotta perfect my yan! mista, after all~...

darling: for yandere songs, have you heard of the major to minor covers by chase holfelder :O? the way he delivers the lyrics in some songs (betty, all i want for christmas), added with the key changes to minor, is really fantastic, and gives a stalker-ish vibe imo! and he's a really good singer in general

vanya: i have!! a good chunk of them are actually on my personal yandere playlist, so i end up hearing them frequently when i’m writing!! i haven’t been keeping up with his uploads recently, so ‘betty’ is completely new to me and just, wow???????????? this man is an absolute god send for us “romantic” horror fans... ♡

this ask gave me such a lovely idea, though, darling: assigning yandere types/mbti based off each of chase’s minor key covers. i think i’ll do that just for you. ♡

darling @blossomiich​: I reread some of your old character interaction asks and saw the one with Jotaro hugging his Darling after a panic attack and the elephant seal plush reminded me of the iconic C H O N K Y ringed seal plushie that was kinda trending and I can totally imagine Jotaro having one of those >w< that's so adorable!

vanya: i honestly don’t remember that interaction, but then again i don’t remember most things hmghng so i looked it up and

j...just imagine star plat hogging it and not letting joot cuddle with it 🥺 the duality of man...thank you for this cute image...

darling: Umm, sorry for asking this. I'm just curious because of your bio language in your header. Are you Chinese too, perhaps?

vanya: no worries!! i’m mixed guyanese (indian, chinese, & possibly black and/or portuguese), but my family only celebrates (or rather, acknowledges?) our indian descent, since the majority of our family is predominantly east indian. 

my header is actually a quote from a danmei novel (and one of my all-time favorite fandoms), tiān guān cì fú (heaven’s official blessing)!

darling genki stan anon: Omg you're writing for free now, i didn't expect that one lol. It's a cute show innit? Not a nagi stan but I feel like nagisa has that kinda unsnapped personality that would make him peak delusional yandere material lolol like oikawa but less threatening and without his head being up his own ass 😂. Hope you're doing well!! -gsa

Gdjsjs im such a fool, i think my last ask said something about not thinking you'd write for free when i literally just pointed out kisumi on your sideblog LMAO my bad 😅 😂 also ill hold back on the gen chan requests because ive already asked so many in the past! Thank you though 🥺. Also feel free not to post this, it can just dip into my onesided chats with my lil flower 💐 so long as you receive them im fine 😌 -genki stan anon

vanya: nagisa isn’t my favorite (kisumi is), but gods if he wouldn’t make a great yandere. honestly, out of the iwatobi boys, nagi is probably the most unhinged. i wouldn’t peg him as delusional, at least not at first; i think he’s very lucid and knows exactly what he wants and how to manipulate people in order to get it!!! kisumi is fairly similar now that i think about it... i might... have a type...

please feel free to send in gen-chan requests whenever you want!!!! i’m kinda super asocial, so it’ll take me a while to answer, but i love getting asks from you since you’re so sweet and excitable!!! your little flower reads and cherishes them all!! 🥺

also darling genki stan anon: Sorry for spamming you with asks hdjkdks, u dont even need to reply im just kinda brain empty venting here whether you recieve them or not 😂 i just needed to confess that while yes i am #1 gen simp, and he is undoubtedly my fave oc of yours but that Ilya tentacle smut had me very much so highkey kinda 👀, had to re read the genki oral style drabble to bring my head back. He dont even need to worry about luca bc that man a thot. I think therin is a thot too but like lowkey, a classy thót -gsa

vanya: omg i’ve kept this one for forever mnmghngh i might’ve even answered at some other point, now that i think about it... but i just 🥺 gosh i hope i find my muse soon, because i really wanna write you a genki fic 🥺 hhhh

the ilya tentacle smut was so in character for that boy... i have no clue how to write monsters, much less tentacles, but i’d honestly do anything for him 🙏 kinky russian boy...

therin is definitely a classy thot, the kind that only bangs the finest concubines then turns around and slut shames you for banging the very same prostitutes gbfmngnfg rules don’t apply to him, in his kingdom...wish that were me tbh ✊😔

sweet asks.

darling one: i've read almost all of your dazai and chuuya fics and i love them so much!! your formatting is also super aesthetic just a question, i saw on your kofi that you also draw so i was wondering if you drew all the header arts?? bc they're all super pretty :) have a great day!

darling two: Just wanted to say love the writing and the way your format your posts is so aesthetically pleasing. One day I hope my posts looks half as good as yours because I legit can't get over how pretty and organized it looks.

vanya: omg thank you so much!!!! one of my bffs, yue, is to thank for the formatting and aesthetic choices, really! if you wanna see more of her aesthetic formats and posts, she actually runs a few blogs! you may know her as @milkscafe​, formally @milkaaton! i adore her and her aes choices so much 🥺

as for the headers, i don’t draw 99.98% of them! i have drawn a couple, but they’re so few and far in between since i almost never finish my art wips haha... my older posts are lacking proper credits because i’m an absolute idiot, but i’m slowly working my way backwards to credit them all where possible! they’re all indeed super pretty!!!

have a great day yourself, my love!!

darling: THEY’RE NOT BAD CONTENT, I LOVE THEM ALL

vanya: this was in response to a now-deleted lil blurb but i kept it in my inbox because i wanted to say i love u very much and seeing this ask each time i open my inbox makes my heart skip a beat ♡

darling: Listen I love your writing, you inspired me to start it myself! I've always loved to write, and read of course but your style and concepts just stick with me. If you where to write something besides Yandere content/fandom content and started your own series? I would read the shit, out of it. I'm always nervous to interact with my favorite writers because you know, I'm afraid of the impression I'd leave but I just wanted to say this anyway! 💞💞💞🔫😳

vanya: wowowow fgfnmgnfmngfg that’s such a high compliment my brain just gmfnbgmnf go boom fogjfngnfg and thank you for the interaction, us writers truly appreciate it no matter how awkward or nervous you think you may be / come off!!!

darling one: As a writer, your post struck a nerve with me. I don’t send feedback to writers I like nearly as much as I should (and certainly not as much as I’d like in return as a writer). So, as such, I’m going to start doing that when I can, starting with you.

You are an incredible writer. You were one of the first yandere writing blogs I found and you’re still one I check in on regularly to see what you have been working on. You can portray a sense of suspense and intrigue in a natural way that many other writers - published ones included - struggle with. You delve into the darkness without it feeling forced, and you have an amazing grasp on the psyches of the characters you write for (which is a quality I adore in writing and strive toward myself).

I’m not great at ending these things so I guess.. you keep doing you? Because the you is great and I appreciate it.

darling two:  hey. i'm here to tell you that from the bottom of my heart i love you and your writings. i really admire your writing skills. you inspire me. one of your posts once saved me from a nervous breakdown. thank you for everything you do. you're a wonderful person. good luck!

darling three: I wanted to tell you that thank you for writing such wonderful beautiful writings and that you take time to edit and write I hope you are taking care of yourself 💖❤

darling four: Thanks. I was having a hard time and deleted all my apps, but as soon as i opened my phone my first instinct was to look at your blog and i got my motivation back. Thanks (:

darling five: Hi ! I just wanted to say I really enjoy the stories you write and how they are detailed so well ! Stay safe and I hope you have a good day/night ! ლ(╹◡╹ლ)

vanya: ahhhh, these are very old asks mostly dating back to my “tumblr writing community is dying” post, and i’ve kept them this entire time because i’m just so starstruck. i have no clue how to reply to compliments, so i’m not sure what else to say besides that these asks made me very happy and got me through a few insecure moments!!! i’ve actually been feeling a little down about my writing recently, mostly because of lack of motivation / inspiration, so revisiting these really warmed my heart, so thank you truly ♡ i’m certainly keeping the originals in my inbox until the end of time!!

darling @monstrously-obsessed: psst, this local cryptic mom thing send all of their love for you 💕

vanya: your local herbo says she loves you very much momster 🥺 mwah

also, to the anon worried about my safety:

thank you so much for pointing that out!!! it hadn’t even crossed my mind when i made those ocs, so i appreciate your concern! i was contemplating revamping those two as is, so this is a great place to start! thank you again!!

[lil-demi-boy]

[BOOP] You've been BOOP'd! Gush about your 5 newest f/o's and your 5 oldest f/o's and pass the BOOP to 5 other self shippers!

Oh wow 10 whole gushes, I’ll go ahead n put this under a read more

I don’t fully remember who I’ve added in what order, but I know Jaime, Haemon, Ross, and Tybalt are new, and though I’ve had Hizashi for a while, I wanna talk about him too 

So CL and I have made some more recent stuff about Jaime and Dan, like their first kiss being accidental- Like they trip into each other and make contact, but once they realize what just happened, they’re both v flustered and blooshy and require a good 5 minutes to calm down Though when they do finally kiss for realsies, it’s rly soft and sweet ;v; The slow burn is to die for n I love it

Haemon’s backstory has been expanded too!  We figured he’d be from a rich family, though he’d have the type of parents who would get him what he wanted so he’d stay out of their hair.  Unfortunately this gave him a complex, so now he tends to throw a fit when he doesn’t get what he wants, especially if he wants someone to date him- so that was fun to work out

As for Ross, he was originally called Chris P. by me n CL but then I was in the Eddsworld Patreon AMA (I got to talk to the real Bing and Matt and I’m still giddy abt it-) they said that Chris is actually named and modeled after a friend of theirs named Ross, so that character is just called Ross.  I like his skeleton arm and taste in chicken.

Tybalt was one of my first islanders in Animal Crossing New Horizons!  He and Tabby were so sweet to me when I first arrived, and though I don’t usually go for the jock types, Tybalt was always just so sweet and encouraging to me, I couldn’t help but fall in love with him ;v;

And Hizashi (aka Present Mic) has been on my list for a while, but I saw a comic of him recently that just made me fall deeper for him and really think about a relationship with him.  He’s a DJ and clearly likes music, and music is one of my hyperfixations, so we would just be able to geek out about our favorite songs and make each other mixtapes and playlists and such,,  he goode

As for oldest, if I can remember correctly, I believe they’re TP Link, Danny Fenton, Manny Rivera, Randy Cunningham, and N

Twilight Princess Link occupied my head rent free for years when I was younger- I’d take the TP guide book to school and read it over and over again, getting every bit of lore that I could from it, I’d draw Link all over the place, my proudest drawing at the time being when I tried to draw him in a certain pose from the book (and it impressed everyone around me, which was a Great Feeling).  Nowadays I just admire him and am thankful for his existence 

Danny Fenton was one that my mom would tease me about bc it was very obvious I had it bad for him when I was a kid.  To the point I watched it any time it was on and wound up watching every episode without having to look them up- I just watched them when they came on and happened to catch them all (I also don’t get the hate for Phantom Planet like,,, they turned Earth invisible, that’s badass) Now I ship with him in an AU where he aged with me, so he’s 31 at this point.  I’m still working on the AU though so I don’t have a lot of details in it aside from the fact that it’s a crossover AU with the rest of the Secret Trio + Manny from El Tigre

Speaking of which, Manny was another favorite of mine as a kid- I loved watching the show and drawing him and looking up cool AMVs n such once I got access to the internet.  I always thought he and Frieda would be fun to be friends and hang out with Now in the Secret Trio AU, he’s 27, and although he does have a super hero alter ego, he’s not part of the team.  Mostly because his identity isn’t a secret; everyone knows he’s El Tigre

Randy Cunningham was a later edition due to his show not coming out until 2012.  Even then, I was so excited for it- I was fresh in an Invader Zim phase and I heard that Jhonen Vasquez did the character designs n such for the show, so ofc I had to watch it.  And I loved it; Ben Schwartz’s voice and the stupid stuff Randy does and says just made me fall for him p much instantly.  He’s probably one of the characters I drew the most ship art of at the time, now that I think about it In the current AU, he’s my age, 22 (I legit was stoked to be in the 9th grade at the same time as him, granted my school didn’t have a Tim Curry demon underneath it or a ninja to protect it but y’know) so he’s the youngest of the trio

And N I admittedly didn’t do a lot with when I was younger, I just kinda held on to him over the years.  He’s really genuine and sweet though, and going on those ferris wheel rides with him in Black was something I dreamt of often =u=

Well this was super long- if you made it this far, thank you for reading all of that cause lord knows you didn’t have to

[minghaocouture]

Songs I associate the Seventeen Members with

Decided to do the SVT Tage game made by @milkteafairy-hyeri​. She said anyone who wants to do it and so here i am lol! (Also tagging @woozisnoots​ since she also did a “anyone who wants to do it”)

List songs in your playlist and strictly on your phone playlist which you associate the Seventeen members with! It’s up to you if u wanna add an explanation!

TBH this was really hard to do x.x Like none of my music really reminded me of them cause if i’m not listening to Kpop Im listening to hard rock or parody music x.x

Im tagging...anyone who wants to do this! Just tag me so i can see your choices <3

Seungcheol

Warriors - Aaliyah Rose (She-Ra theme song)

Tbh this just feels like Cheollie to me, as a leader he is always there for his members and supports them so much.

Room Shaker - Ailee 

This song just reminds me of his on stage duality. like specifically this gif i saw forever ago but couldn’t find it again x.x

Jeonghan

Goodnight My Angel - Celtic Woman

The title kinda explains itself lol. It’s a really pretty lullaby, and he likes sleeping so much and he’s an angel and it was cute.

Troublemaker - Olly Murs ft. Flo Rida

So it was either this song or Chillin’ Like a Villain from Descendants 2. But this one fit a bit better. All his cheating in games and how he is just kinda chaotic, it made me giggle thinking about.

Joshua

Sing for You - EXO

This song just screams Joshua to me, i would love to hear him (and tbh the whole group) do a cover of this song. I can just imagine him playing his guitar and singing and it just makes me soft to think about. 

Dragon Slayer - NSP (E) 

It just reminded me of how anytime the fandom calls him the Gentleman of the group and the rest of SVT is just like “NAH”. (don’t read too much into this choice lol it just made me giggle) 

Junhui

Níl Sé’n Lá - Celtic Woman

So this song is legit just about partying and having fun and not thinking about what will come tomorrow, and it just really reminded me of Jun’s cheerful personality.

Otsukimi Recital - Jin,IA

This one, reminded me of him comforting Yanan during that Chinese show they did together. The whole song is about trying to make someone close to you feel better and I just imagined Jun singing it to Yanan and it made me really happy. 

Also translates to Moon viewing recital, and his Korean last name is Moon.

Soonyoung

I Don’t Know What We’re Talking About - NSP 

I imagine that this song is sometimes what it’s like to be in Soonyoung’s brain lol sometimes it doesn’t make sense but it always makes you laugh.

Caffeine - RWBY

This song is so hype for me and just reminds me of how he is live on stage. It is also a song called Caffeine and that boy has energy for literal DAYS. 

Wonwoo

Kataomoi - Aimer

So this song starts out kinda sad but gets happier at the end, and it really reminded me of how Wonwoo had talked about himself during Hit the Road. How he was curious why people liked him. it was also super chill like he usually is.

My Only Chance - The Toxic Avenger

So this song is from one of my fave video game soundtracks. It’s a really chill song and feels like it would fit Wonwoo’s vibe, and the fact that he is a gamer.

Jihoon

Breathe (2 AM) - Anna Nalick

So this is dumb but i mostly picked this because A. It was just kind a chill kinda sound and B. Because of the line “2 am and i’m still awake writing a song”, it just reminded me of all that Jihoon does. 

Rock Show - Halestorm

DRUMMER WOOZI

Seokmin

Sunny Summer - Gfriend

This boy is literally sunshine, and i could also see him dancing to this song and just being super cute.

Dinosaur Laser Fight - NSP (E) 

That skit they did where he was the English teacher? Yeah this song is what it would have been if he was a science teacher in that skit.

Mingyu

Ka-CHING! - EXO-CBX

The guys always tease him about having a lot of money so this is just where my brain went.

Guy.exe - Superfruit

“Six feet tall and super strong” I may pick on Kim Mingyu but this boy would be perfect BF material.

Minghao

Dear Fellow Traveller -  Sea Wolf

This song just had a vibe that screamed Minghao to me. Just a kind of mysterious yet welcoming feel. If that makes sense.

Drop Dead Gorgeous - April Smith and the Great Picture Show

So i love this song and I feel Minghao could relate, because it’s talking about wanting to be with someone that’s smart and not just pretty. The tag line is “Cause if you’re just drop dead gorgeous, you should just drop dead.” saying that if there isn’t anything going on in your brains, then you need to GTFO and that just felt vry Minghao to me.

Seungkwan

Sweets for Two - Interlunium 

1. Seungkwan is sweet as sugar, 2. Seungkwan is a foodie <3 

Pillow Talking (feat. Brain) - Lil Dicky, Brain (E)

Okay hear me out, this would legit be him arguing with someone about these things. I can legit see him having similar reactions to Lil Dicky in the song and it had me cackling just thinking about it.

Vernon

Retro Future - Triple H 

Vernon’s whole closet just screamed this song at me (i know he’s changing to darker colors but until it’s happened i still got Tie-dye Vernon on the brain)

Popsicle - UHSN 

This is literally just because my all time favorite look for Vernon is this one

Chan

Yakusoku no Kizuna - Risa Taneda

K-POP’S FUTURE LEE CHAN! This is all about working hard for your goals and being able to keep going forward because of the people around you. 

Byakuya ~True Light~

TBH this is legit just because i had an idea for a D.N.Angel au where Chan would take Daisuke’s role >.> (and Jeonghan would be Dark) that’s honestly it.