#lee rang emotional support babie

[jinnie-ret]

fallen angel

stray kids x ninth member!reader (platonic)

genre: hurt/comfort, some fluff at the end

content warnings: injury, hyunjin hiatus (but he still makes an appearance)

word count: 3k

If you enjoy feel free to send in requests as my asks are open! And let me know if you would like to join the taglist for when I upload more imagines :)

the stray kids members have two maknaes to comfort at the end of their 'I'll Be Your Man' cover. One upset because he thought he wasn't good enough, and the other an injured, fallen angel, left hurt because MNET hadn't done enough safety checks on their equipment.

pt 2

MAIN MASTERLIST

Practising the vocals for 'I'll Be Your Man' was difficult enough, trying to learn the choreography alongside it was hard too. But performing said choreography whilst being lifted in a harness too was even more difficult.

Y/N would be lying if she said she wasn't nervous. No, it wasn't to do with the heights, she could cope with that, but it was more the precision of her dance, and the fact that she would be hitting a high note in the air at the same time, having her own solo moment to shine. Maybe it would be different if they had multiple takes to make sure they got the right one. But with Kingdom, they didn't. She only had so many practices to ensure it looked perfect in front of her sunbaenims and friends. Yeosang and Wooyoung from ATEEZ had kept reminding her they were excited to see her performance. In the normal way, this would be encouraging, this time round, it only felt more daunting.

So when it came to the day of the performance, Y/N was unable to hide her nerves shining through.

"Y/Nnie, you good?" Han appeared in front of her, big brown eyes shining in concern as he watched the younger member zoned out in her own world.

"Huh? Oh yeah..." Y/N said dismissively, not really entirely sure how she felt right now, but her emotions showed more on the outside than on the inside right now.

"You've practiced this a billion times, you've got this," Han encouraged her, his hand resting on her shoulder whilst stylists were around the two making last minute adjustments to their outfits before they went on stage.

"Okay okay, I can do this," Y/N nodded, trying to hype herself up for the performance, breathing away her worries.

"Hannie! Y/Nnie!" Changbin loudly called them over to their group huddle where the rest of the members were gathered.

Y/N gave Han a thankful smile before they joined the others in the circle, Y/N slotting herself between Felix and Seungmin.

"Right, let's do our best, stay safe, and deliver what Stray Kids do best! Let's go! Hwaiting!" Chan led the small talk before they all cheered each other on and got into position on stage.

Y/N didn't have a part until the first group choreography part of the performance, where Han and Lee Know sang the chorus and led them through the gates. Felix, Han and Changbin then had their rap parts in a more hellish scene, where a dance break ensued, Y/N running off halfway through it like she was meant to, to get into position.

She was quickly harnessed by their supporting dancers and got ready for her solo part. As soon as she heard Lee Know sing out 'baby I just pray', she was slowly lifted into the air. Instrumental music played as she rose upward, stretching out her arms and legs and creating beautiful moments with them. And when her arms swooped across her long black hair, the other groups who were watching backstage were shocked to see it was a wig that was knocked off, revealing long white hair instead. As she rose higher, some large wings appeared on the screen behind her.

"Oh my god her hair!"

"Wow she's an angel!"

"That's my best friend! Let's go Y/Nnie!"

"So pretty..."

Now risen at the highest point in the air, Y/N began singing too, beautiful vocal runs flowing along with the violin in the background. Her moves ranged from static to more elegant moves too, and she feigned an expression as part of the performance like her soul had been taken away from her, sacrificed for the young boy to align with the storyline of the performance. She was then lowered as her movements became more frantic and dramatic, showing the desperate need to have saved a soul. At the same time, her wings dissolved behind her, the screen turning darker behind her.

"She's a fallen angel! Wow!"

"Oh wow..."

She continued to be lowered, and Y/N was beginning to feel a bit nervous now because she swore she heard a slight ripping sound from the cord she was attached to, yet she continued performing. It was until she was still 6ft in the air, that the cord actually did snap, and Y/N was forced to act quickly despite her shock to try and land. Despite the impact going straight through her left ankle, Y/N continued dancing until the camera panned away again, panting before realising she'd have to dance some more at the end of their performance too. She tried her best to keep her tears at bay, moving across the stage the best she could as she limped over to the rest of the boys. None of them noticed however, as they were in performance mode and hadn't seen her part of the stage from getting ready themselves for the next. And even the groups backstage had seemed to think the drop from the harness was planned, like it was part of her fallen angel character.

Her left foot was in agony, yet she kept going, her body twisting and turning whilst Han and Seungmin sung their hearts out, and Changbin rapped incredibly fast. She was relieved once it came to the end, and they were able to collapse to the ground, because ever since she fell that was all she wanted to do.

Once the lights came up, she cried out, hands over her face. It was then that she noticed she was finding it hard to breathe too, and she didn't know if it was another injury or if she was in so much pain from her ankle.

"Y/N what's happened?" Lee Know crouched down next to Y/N, thinking she was upset and tried to help her up but then she cried out in pain again.

"What's happened? Are you hurt?" Felix panicked, seeing the tears coming from the younger member.

Staff members from MNET rushed over, catching the attention of the other members.

"What's going on?" Changbin asked confused and worried.

A higher up crew member approached the group and began to explain what happened.

"There was a fault with the harness, the cord snapped as she was being lowered and so she suffered a slight fall. Good news is she landed it well so it still looked good on camera," they hurriedly tried to reassure the rest of the group, but their words did anything but that.

"She fell?!" Seungmin looked across at Y/N who was being comforted by a now angry looking Lee Know and a more worried Felix. Jeongin, who wasn't feeling too good about his own performance, looked worried for his fellow maknae.

"The harness broke?!? Why didn't you check it was safe?!" Chan exploded in anger at the MNET staff, because now one of his members was injured.

Whilst he continued to rant angrily at the staff, Han trying to calm him down, the rest of the boys gathered around Y/N.

"Ah it hurts," she cried through stuttered breaths, top half leant against Changbin as he had lifted her slightly into his arms. He rubbed soothing circles into her hands which gripped onto his so tightly.

"Where, Y/N? Can you tell us where it hurts, love?" Felix rushed out his words concerned for her, seeing the tears roll down her face.

"Landed on my ankle," Y/N whimpered, her breaths coming out short.

"Y/N you need to calm down, okay?" Seungmin patted her arm, thinking that she was working herself up even more, and not wanting her to feel even worse.

"Get a doctor here then!" Chan was heard shouting, which only made Y/N more upset.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's going to be okay, yeah?" Changbin reassured her gently, squeezing her hands tighter.

"W-what if I can't join the next performance?" Y/N shakily asked, eyes flitting back and forth between the boys who were her real comfort right now.

"We'll worry about that later. We're more concerned about you right now, Y/Nnie. Just breathe sweetheart, can you do that, hmm?" Lee Know spoke calmly, slowly taking off her shoe to reveal a swollen and bruised ankle.

"I'm trying to b-but it hurts to," Y/N says through stuttered breaths, tears still falling down her face.

"There's not a doctor here yet?" Jeongin questioned, wondering why someone on set hadn't arrived quicker.

"They should be coming over now," Chan informed them, before grabbing one of Y/N's hands, "we're going to get you some help, yeah? Just take some nice deep breaths, Y/Nnie."

Chan gave her the same advice as the others yet it wasn't working. Y/N knew it wasn't her panicking, but something worse.

"We keep trying to calm her down but she says it hurts when she breathes," Felix looks up Chan worriedly, and sees Han to the left of him with his clasped together nervously.

Some medical staff finally came over and lifted her onto a small bed to move her backstage and look at her properly. Y/N couldn't help but let out more whimpers of pain and the members tried to reassure her as they followed along.

"Only one person in here please," the standby doctor informed the boys, and that was when they decided Seungmin should go in with her. He was the most grounded at the moment, the other members either being too angry, worried or upset to remain calm like Y/N needed.

Seungmin gently held Y/N's hand as the doctors checked over her. With a slight press into her ribs, Y/N let out a loud yell of pain, Seungmin immediately whispering reassuring words to her and gently petting her hair.

"It's okay, it's okay, they're just making sure you're okay, Y/Nnie," he stumbled over his words, now wishing someone else was in his position instead because he feared he wasn't doing enough to comfort the younger girl and he hated seeing her like this.

"We fear you may have a bruised rib, Miss Y/N, you're going to have to seek medical help from a hospital," the doctor shook his head, regretfully informing them.

"No, no, I can't, what about the next performance, can't let the team down," Y/N cried, which was making her ribs hurt even more from the slight jolting of her body.

"Y/Nnie, it's okay, we'll figure out, but you need to calm down, jagi, because you'll hurt yourself more," Seungmin made sure she was looking at him as he said this, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, stroking her face gently.

"B-but-"

"Ssshh, please don't cry Y/Nnie, we'll get you to a hospital and then we worry about the future, okay, come on now, that's it, well done," Seungmin helped her to relax, an arm gently wrapped around her shoulders as he stroked her hair to calm her down.

Whilst Y/N's examination was happening, Chan had noticed Jeongin's upset.

"Hey Innie, it's okay, Y/N will be okay," he patted his younger member's back, thinking that's why he was crying to himself.

"It's not that, I mean, I'm worried about Y/N, but I messed up in the performance and then seeing her hurt too was just," Jeongin couldn't finish his words, crying into the shoulder of his leader.

"Ah, Innie, you did good, which part?" Chan patted his back gently.

"I just did a terrible job as a whole," Jeongin sniffled, his voice thick from trying to hold back his cries.

"Hey, it's okay man," Chan hugged him again.

Felix came and hugged Jeongin too.

"Ah what are we going to do with our maknaes?" Han sighed fondly, patting Jeongin on the head, and it was then they saw Y/N getting wheeled out of the medical room and heading down the corridor past their room.

"Hey, hey! What's going on?" Chan called after some staff of their own who were with Y/N.

"They're taking her to hospital, think she's got a bruised rib," the JYP staff shook their head angrily.

"A bruised rib?!" Changbin said with wide eyes, trying to peer round at Y/N who was sat up straight, trying to remain calm with Seungmin who was stood beside her, looking stressed himself.

"Lee Know and I will go with her, Seungmin, you go home with the others, yeah? We'll update you," Chan instructs everyone.

Seungmin nodded and was immediately embraced into a hug by Felix, feeling guilty for relaxing but he couldn't deal with seeing his member hurt.

And off they went. Changbin stayed behind with the 00 liners and Jeongin, making sure they weren't too shaken up by what happened. Chan and Lee Know stuck to Y/N like glue, one of them always holding her hand or stroking her hair, even when she had been given some drugs for the pain and was unconscious.

"I can't believe this happened..." Chan sighed, brushing back stray hairs from Y/N's face. They were sat beside her hospital bed.

"Typical MNET," Lee Know sighed angrily, looking at the boot now on Y/N's foot.

Y/N then started waking up.

"Hey, sweetheart, how you feeling?" Chan was quick to check in on her.

"Feel, funny," Y/N giggled trying to sit up but then wincing in pain.

"Oh gosh, she's gone loopy," Lee Know playfully sighed, but he couldn't hide his worry for her as he gently leaned her back.

"Wow I have such handsome members," Y/N suddenly said, the drugs she was given making her delirious and spouting whatever was on her mind.

"What? Y/N?" Chan laughed at the girl who staring at the two eldest members.

"Did so well today. Good performance. All 9 of us," Y/N carried on, seeming like she had forgotten about her injuries for now considering she thought all 9 of them was there, when really it was 8 because of the stupid hiatus Hyunjin had to be on.

"It was only 8 of us, Y/Nnie, remember?" Lee Know warily reminded her, and it was then she teared up.

"Call Hyunjin, I miss him. Want to talk to him," Y/N pouted sadly, and they couldn't deny their maknae.

"He might be busy though, Y/N," Chan said gently, calling his fellow member anyways.

Fortunately he answered.

"Hi Channie hyung!" Hyunjin said brightly upon seeing Chan's face, which soon changed to Y/N holding the phone closely to her face, making Hyunjin cackle.

"Woah, Y/N, all of a sudden?" he laughed over the phone.

"Hyunjin!" Y/N yelled into the phone, causing Chan and Lee Know to shush her due to being in a hospital.

"Y/Nnie!" Hyunjin joyfully said back.

"I miss you!" she said into the phone, holding the phone higher up where Hyunjin could see she was in a hospital gown and had an IV in.

"Miss you too- huh? Are you in hospital?" Hyunjin sounded very concerned, and Lee Know and Chan could hear it in his voice that he longed to be with them right now to comfort her and reassure himself.

"Yeah. Because MNET are all dickheads who can s-" Y/N spoke her mind, until Chan covered her mouth so she'd stop speaking and Lee Know took the phone.

"Hyung is Y/N okay?" Hyunjin frowned.

"We were filming and you know she had that harness part? MNET didn't do enough safety checks and so the cord snapped," Lee Know shook his head angrily

"What? That's ridiculous! How could they just let that happen?" Hyunjin rambled from the other side of the phone, but Y/N in her more delirious state thought he was talking about her.

"You angry at me Jinnie?" she asked sadly, bottom lip wobbling.

"No no no, not at you, jagi, at MNET, because they're all dickheads, remember?" Hyunjin quickly calmed Y/N, trying to make her laugh by using her words, and he was successful in doing so.

"Hyunjin!" Chan scolded, yet their was a smile as he spoke and Hyunjin could hear Lee Know's laughter in the background.

"Please update me if she's ok, yeah?" Hyunjin bit his lip worriedly, wishing he could be with his memners right now.

"Of course of course, that goes without question. Talk to you soon, yeah?" Chan promised Hyunjin.

"Bye hyungs! Bye Y/Nnie!" Hyunjin waved them goodbye as the phone hung up.

"Y/N you can't shout like that," Chan facepalms and laughs, scolding her for her shouting earlier on in the call.

"You sounded like a parrot," Lee Know said bluntly, causing Y/N to smirk.

"You sounded like a parrot."

"Y/N-"

"Y/N."

A sigh.

And another, Y/N copying Lee Know once again.

"Hyung make her stop," Lee Know whined, Y/N copying once again before he covered her mouth.

Chan managed to capture this on video and sent it to the groupchat to let them know how Y/N was doing.

Chan:

[vid. attachment]

Y/N is up and doing better

Han:

haha Lee Know hyung is annoyed

Chan:

well he did call her a parrot

Changbin:

ah Y/N is so clever like that haha

Seungmin:

she learnt it from me

Felix:

hahaha

what did the doctors say?

Lee Know:

she's got a bruised rib, broken ankle, don't know how we're going to let her down gently about if she can join the next performance or not

Jeongin:

I hope she can :(

Chan:

she spoke to Hyunjin and that made her feel better

Hyunjin:

what can I say? I'm a natural healer

Felix:

we miss you jinnie

Hyunjin:

I miss you guys too

but it's not long now, that makes me feel better

Y/N:

you know what is long?

Han:

which one of you let Y/N have her phone?

Y/N:

my d-dkfkfkfmfkfdkdkrkrkttt

Lee Know:

Chan did, but I've got it now. this one has gone crazy...

tagged: @oo-li

[tenshioffcial]

Bada Lee, You Are Not Alone. pt2

Warnings: suggestive content, smut, heavy make out sessions, Bada gets angry, toxic mother, Shower sex, Pet names, DomBada!, SubReader!, Mommy kink!, angst, Bada has a cock in this story but I'm not saying she is trans or anything it is just for the story.

part 2 - part 1

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*beep beep beep beep beep! * My alarm started blaring loudly and woke me up. The clock says 7:00 that gives me time to shower and pack the last small things before I got to go to my parents' house. I messaged Kristen, Audrey and Bada about our stay and what not then I hopped in the shower. I got out and maybe myself some toast and some eggs and ate it in a hurry anxious to get there so we can leave because I can't stand my mother anymore it's like she grown bitter now and doesn't love me anymore. I stopped thinking about that the second I heard a ring of my doorbell. "I'm coming!" I ran to the door and Kristen, Audrey and Bada walked in helping me pack my stuff into my car. Bada came with them, so I drive her with me when we head there. I hurriedly shoveled the food down the last two bites, and we got into the cars and went. The ride there was pretty chill Bada hardly spoke to me but kept holding my hand and touching my thigh. "Can I play some tunes?" She asked. I nodded and she found one that played You got it by Vedo and she started doing her own dance to it next to me in the car. We laughed and had fun till we got to my parents' house. My mood was ruined the second we arrived, Bada took notice of my mood change. "What's the matter angel?" I couldn't help but sigh. "It's nothing I'll tell you later, okay?" She didn't seem to like the response but nodded. We got out of the car, and I walked up to the front door and rang the bell, I can hear my annoying mother on the other side. She opened the door and acted like she was so excited to see me, but I knew damn well she wasn't. "Hello my Beautiful baby." 'God, she made me wanna gag.' I forced a smile. "Hi...mom!" 'God when can I leave???' Kristen can tell I'm not feeling so happy about this so to help me out thank God she cleared her throat to catch her attention. My mother and her dramatic-self gasped. "Oh, and you brought friends to stay too?" She giggled half-heartedly and I nodded. "Yep, I did, they are here for emotional support." She scoffed. "Sure, not that you really need them, you have me." I tried really hard not to laugh and call her bluff but then Bada noticed and stopped me. "Where can we leave our things Mrs. Y/l/n?" She smirked as if she won. "Upstairs the first room on the right is available and then the one right across is from it on the left is too." Bada nodded and we all came in and went upstairs. I ran past them to my old room and started screaming in my pillow. 'God why can't she and father understand me?' I heard a knock at my door. "Go away mom!" I started trembling and having a hard time not crying. My door got opened and felt her getting closer. "Mom please I don't want to argue anymore right now!" I started crying but then felt arms wrap around me in a tight hug and then a second pair and a third pair. It was Kristen, Audrey and Bada. I started sobbing on them and trying not to lose my grip on reality. After what only felt like seconds I pulled away and Audrey handed me a tissue. after wiping my tears away and blowing my nose I finally took a deep breath and looked to Bada. "This is all because neither of them supports my dream to be a dancer." All three of them looked at me in disbelief. "Wow why not? you do amazingly well." Audrey spoke. "I don't know but neither my mom nor my father wants me doing it because they don't think I make enough money doing it even though I am happy and am living my best life." They all nodded and Bada rubbed my back. "The worst part is she likes making me come here just to try and make me marry a rich guy because they want me to not dance anymore." I started crying harder again. Bada pulled me into a hug. "I swear to god this has me fuming and I want to go shit talk her so bad right now." I shook my head. "Don't Bada it won't end well." She sighed. "You sure? because I don't mind being her enemy at all knowing how she treats you." I blushed slightly but nodded. "I'm sure Bada." I snuggled closer into her. "However, I want to stay in your arms forever." Kristen and Audrey smiled to one another.

"We'll leave you guys alone." and just like that they left the room. "How about we move to snuggle in your bed beautiful?" I nodded and sat up off of her and she helped me to my feet. She laid down and patted the bed next to her to which I obviously compiled and snuggled right into her. "Bada?" She hummed in response. "Promise me that you will be here once I wake up?" She giggled at my child like request. "Yes angel I promise." I smiled and fell right to sleep.

Bada's POV:

I smiled at the beautiful girl sleeping but I climbed out of under her and went to the bathroom which I definitely thought she would've gotten up from it, but she stayed sleeping. I snuck downstairs to grab a snack and a drink, but when I came down there was a strange man who I knew wasn't Y/n's father standing in the kitchen talking to Y/n's mom. I tried to hurry and grab my snack and drink but... "You must be Y/n." The man said. I shook my head. "No who are you?" Y/n's mom stopped in front of me. "He is Kim Bae, and he is one of the many suiters for Y/n." 'God this woman is trying to ruin everything for me.' "Speaking of where is she?" I tried my damnedest to behave myself. "Sleeping upstairs." She sighed. "Well, she can meet you once she gets up." He smiled "fine I'll come by later." She nodded and sent him off kindly. I hurried back upstairs.

Y/n's POV:

I woke up wondering where Bada was she promised me she'd be here when I woke up, but she wasn't here. I started to get upset but as I did the door opened. I jumped up and grabbed her in a tight hug. "Don't leave me alone again please Bada." She sighed and hugged me back. "I won't sorry I wanted a snack and drink and then..." I lifted my head to meet her gaze. "Then what Bada?" She looked like she was unsure as to how she should tell me about this whatever this is. She took a deep breath. "Your mom has another rich man here for you to meet." It was my turn to sigh. "Yeah, she does this every time I come here." I looked up to Bada and she looks angry but what she did next, I was not ready for, she grabbed me by my cheeks and kissed me with lust and passion, it felt like I was floating on air from that kiss. She moved us to the bed and climbed on top of me and started kissing me rougher and caressing my body, she pulled away breathless. "You know...you're so beautiful." I blushed and giggled. "Thanks, you aren't too bad yourself baby." She smiled and chuckled lightly. "How about we shower together?" I nodded, "Yes we should." We both stood up and grabbed out clothes for afterwards. I started the water since I already gathered my clothes, a few minutes later Bada came in and tugged on my shirt to which I responded lifting my arms and she pulled it over my head. I then took hers off for her and she unclasped my bra, and I turned around to hers, but she froze staring at my naked breasts. I waved my hand in front of her face, so she'd look at me then she blushed once she made eye contact with me. I couldn't help but giggle and tease her a bit. "Do you like what you see baby?" "Are my breasts distracting you hm?" She sighed at me then let me undo her bra then she took my pants off and panties in one swift motion. I carefully took hers off but then once we were naked, we hopped in the shower. She started washing my hair for me and I did hers then she washed my body till her hands got close to my cunt then she panicked. "What's wrong Bada?" She seemed annoyed but then she chuckled lowly and pinned me to the wall of the shower with my ass towards her. "You really wanna play innocent here princess?" She grabbed me by my hair which caused me to moan and whimper. She chuckled again. "You like me pulling your hair baby?" I nodded but that earned me a smack to my ass. "Yes ma'am." She smirked proud of what she is achieving. She moved her right hand lower till she was caressing my ass then she started moving it lower and started touching my cunt till all the sudden I felt her fingers go inside of me. "Oh god yes!" She chuckled again. "You like that don't you my beautiful baby hm? you sound so pretty making those sweet noises all for me." I gasped getting closer to Cuming. "I-I'm so close mommy." she pulled them out now leaving me feeling empty. I was not ready for what was to come because she slammed her cock into me. "OH MY GOD MOMMY YES!" I screamed so much that I was breathless for a moment after. "Shhh you're gonna get us caught princess." I moaned louder. "I don't care I want her to know I don't want that guy and that I want you mommy." She smirked happily over that. "Your wish is my command, Babygirl." She fucked into me rougher and faster I could feel the knot forming in my stomach. "M-mommy! I-I'm gonna cum!" I came all over her cock and she came inside me. We were both panting from that heated sex. "Okay now let's finish up so I can go downstairs." I smiled at Bada as I spoke. She nodded and we hurried and got dressed. She held my hand as we walked down the stairs, and we were greeted by my mom trying to shove this guy on me. "Hey there, she is my beautiful daughter Y/n. Y/n this is Kim Bae he is a famous CEO at this big company, and he said he'd marry you." "Y/n I promise I'll be a good husband to you and father to our kids if you'll have me." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Look Kim Bae, I bet you are an amazing guy but I'm not the right one for you besides I am in love with someone else." He nodded.

"It's okay I understand and thank you for your time." He got up and left. My mom however is mean mugging me. "What in the fuck is wrong with you!?" Kristen and Audrey came down and stood there listening. "What's wrong with me!? MORE LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MOM!?!?" She gasped dramatically as always. "I am only doing what is best for you with that shitty career and the shit people you are around you need to be around rich people and other people like your father and I." I was getting angrier by the minute. "No mom I don't because you and dad aren't doing what you want to do no you'd rather pretend you love your life instead of changing it to make yourself happy." She scoffed. "You are such a spoiled brat and never want to make life easier on yourself. which who is this person you are in love with? are they gonna be able to take care of you? are they gonna be able to make sure you live a happy life? no because you pick losers only." I was ready to leave this place right now and never return. "NO MOM, THEY LOVE ME AND PROMISE TO LOVE ME WHICH IS SOMETHING YOU NEVER DID YOU ALWAYS WANNA SHOVE ME OFF ONTO SOME RICH GUY WHO NEVER WILL LOVE ME THE WAY THIS WOMAN NEXT TO ME DOES!" She walked over and *Smack! * She hit me hard enough I fell to the floor. I looked up at her and stood up. "I hope you know you just lost your daughter forever." I walked upstairs and packed my things and Bada's things and brought our bags down. Bada the whole time was ready to hurt her for how she treated me. She hugged me and then walked over to my mother. "I swear if I ever see you hit her like that again you will have a lot more to worry about than her leaving, I plan to love her and treat her right through everything no matter what unlike you." She walked back to me and we all four got into the two cars. Bada and I sat there for a second. "Y/n listen I'm sor-" I cut her off to kiss her lips. "You were amazing in there Baby." I smiled at her as I said that. "Yeah, well I promised you I would never let you be alone again. You are not alone, and I will always be there for you." just like that we left unsure what our future holds but we'll get through it together.

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A/n: This was fun to write and emotional as fuck I'm just happy to write something this good for ya'll and If you guys have requests I'm always willing to write one. anyways I hope yall enjoyed this one and I plan to write some more stuff soon.

[saintminseok]

Hello I'm back to being petty because Lee Rang deserves fucking better!!!

[saintminseok]

I'll defend him till my last breath

My Emotional Support Bastard™

[bumblesimagines]

Little Loomis

Part 14

Request: Yes or No

And this short part marks the beginning of the Little Loomis hiatus until the next movie comes out!

~~~~~~~

“How did you know?” Samantha asked, glancing at Amber.

“About your father? I mean, it’s a small town and your mom’s a drunk!” Amber laughed, shaking her head and gazing at Richie. “I met Richie on the Stab subreddit. I’ve been obsessed ever since my parents bought this house. We realized pretty quickly we had similar ideas.”

Richie looked back at Samantha and pressed the gun underneath her chin. “It wasn’t hard finding you in Modesto. Wasn’t that hard for me to fuck you either. But I guess being a sexually available woman is supposed to be empowering these days.”

“Fuck you.” Samantha’s sneer only got chuckles out of Amber and Richie, their crazed eyes filled with all sorts of emotions. Nothing like Billys’ dark predator like eyes.

“It wouldn’t just work with you, Sam. See, we had to bring the legacy characters back to make it matter. Can’t have a bona fide Halloween without Jaime Lee!” A shine caught your eye and you noticed a knife sitting below scattered cups on the counter. “Dewey had to die to make it real. To show this wasn’t just some bullshit, cash in, run of the mill sequel. Cause our movie has fucking stakes!”

“Not an original motive.” You muttered, earning a glare from the crazed teenager. Sidney lunged forward, aiming to grab the knife but Amber stabbed her side and let her collapse to the floor.

“Sid!” You pushed forward, grabbing the handle of a glass bottle and slamming it against Ambers’ head. She cried out and stumbled back, holding her soaked head and scowling. Her cheek had a few cuts from the glass, the alcohol in the bottle making the cuts sting. Before she could attack, Richie shot at the ceiling.

“Let’s all calm down.” He breathed, shooting Amber a look and walking forward to crouch down beside Sidney. “I’m so sorry, Sid. Neither you or (Y/N) are getting out of this. I mean, surviving again after all those attempts is ridiculous. This time, the fans are gonna win. That about cover it?”

“Nailed it, baby.” Amber responded, wiping her face and keeping her glare settled on you. Richie sent Amber off to retrieve Tara and you crouched down on the floor, hand moving over Sidneys’ and pressing a kiss to the side of her head. Richie began shouting at Sam until Amber called from the hallway.

“She’s not here!”

“What the fuck do you mean?” You looked up at Richie and watched the panic begin to set in. His breathing quickened and his fist clenched.

“I united her. Guess you’re not as persuasive as you thought.” Richie stared at Sam in silence, flinching when the phone beside him rang. Amber suddenly cried out and grunted and with Richie distracted Samantha lunged forward, trying to grab the gun from his hand. She bit his arm and left the room, leaving Richie to go after her. When Amber entered the room, you reached forward and grabbed her ankle, pulling and making her fall. Sidney took the opportunity to stand, grabbing a jar as Amber stood and throwing it against her, shattering the glass.

“Fucking hand sanitizer?” Gale grabbed her from behind and Sidney picked up her legs, the two tossing her over the island and backing her into a corner. Amber raised her hands, frantically shaking her head.

“No, no, no! It’s not my fault, it’s not my fault!” She pleaded, gasps leaving her. Sidney scoffed, leaning against the counter for support.

“Let me guess, the movies made you do it?”

“No, it was the message boards! I was radicalized! Everyone is so mad! Please, it’s not my fault! I’m just a dumb kid. I just wanted to be a part of something.” Amber pleaded, pushing herself up and against the counter.

“A part of something? You killed my best friend!”

“Yeah, and he died like a pussy.” Ambers’ frightened look morphed into smugness and Gale lashed out, punching her and grabbing onto her. Amber dug her finger into Gales wound, getting pulled back by Sidney. Amber pushed Sidney back against the counter and you reached out, grabbing Ambers hair. She screamed out when you pulled her back, twisting around and kicking your side. You stumbled back, feeling the stove behind you and turning it on. The alcohol and hand sanitizer would easily help burn her alive.

“You piece of shit!” Amber screeched, turning to face you. You stepped back and when she went to attack, Gale shot at her until Amber fell back on the flames, quickly catching on fire. You moved back and towards the two, listening to her screams until she fell over. You heard thudding and shouting in the other room, rounding the corner in time to watch Samantha repeatedly stab Richie over and over. You walked towards her and stared down at his corpse, his blood splattered all over Samantha and the floor.

“They always come back.” Sidney muttered as she and Gale entered the room. Samantha took the gun from Gale and shot at Richie until she was satisfied and certain of his death. A scream from behind you and you turned around, seeing a half burnt Amber with a knife in hand. A gunshot rang out and her body collapsed, the sound of sirens drawing near in the distant. You looked at Tara and breathed out a sigh of relief, taking Sidneys’ hand and giving it a squeeze. Gale limped towards the door and opened it, taking a seat on the steps until the police and ambulances arrived. You let a paramedic stitch up the stab wound and sat in the back with Sidney and Gale, feeling Sidney rest her head against your shoulder. The bodies were taken out in body bags and two of Taras’ friends, Mindy and Chad, were transported away to the hospital. 

“Hey, uhm..” Samantha cleared her throat, limping towards you and the others, bandages wrapped around her side. “Thank you.. for everything. Are you gonna be alright?”

“As well as one can be.” You replied and chuckled. Sidney hummed and exhaled, glancing around at the paramedics.

“We’ll survive. We always do.”

“At least I know what I’m gonna write about.” Gale muttered. “These fuckers can die in anonymity. Instead, I’ll write about a good man who used to be a sheriff here.”

“I’d like to read that story.” Sidney smiled and Gale returned it, looking back at Samantha. The young woman met your gaze and licked her lips.

“Could we talk? Privately?”

“Of course.” You stood up and released Sidneys’ hand, following Samantha to a less crowded area. Samantha wrapped her arms around herself and gently kicked at the ground.

“Am I gonna be okay?”

“Eventually, yeah. Some days will be harder than others and it’ll be hard to feel normal again. The key is not to shut everyone out. It’ll be hard to trust people again but you’ll meet some that will have your best interests in mind. You can reach out to me, Sid, or Gale if you ever need advice or someone to vent to. Sid and I will happily accept you and Tara into our family. We’re in this together.” You spoke softly. Samantha inhaled deeply and bit her bottom lip.

“You know.. I read your books. The fictional ones, anyway. I felt as if reading your autobiography, Little Loomis, would just make everything real. I always wanted to reach out but every time I went to.. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to barge into your life and ruin it like I did with my parents life. I want to be part of your life and get to know the side I’ve been pushing away.”

“I know how it feels to wonder if you’ll end up like Billy or mom. It’s hard and it’ll loom over your shoulder for a while until you accept that what happened wasn’t your fault and that their actions don’t dictate how you’ll turn out. You need to have patience with yourself and don’t be afraid to let the people who care about you know how you feel.” You took a step forward and opened your arms, letting Samantha collapse into them and sniffle. She held onto your shirt and buried her face into your shoulder.

“Call me when you can and you guys can come up to meet your cousins.” You smiled, rubbing her back and leaning back. Samantha smiled, wiping away her tears and nodded.

“I’d like that. Thank you, again. I’ll text Sidney when Tara and I get to the hospital.” Samantha said, stepping back and walking back towards the ambulance. You watched her get inside and sighed, heading back to Sidney and Gale. You climbed into the ambulance and sat down.

“Will we have new faces joining us on holidays?” Sidney asked, looping her arm around yours. You smiled and looked at the window, watching the ambulance Samantha and Tara were in drive away.

“Yeah, we will.”

↣ ↣ ↣

“They’re here!” You looked up from the book and gently set Sadie aside, handing her the childrens book and standing up. You peeked out the window and spotted Samantha getting out of the uber with Tara. Tatum looked away from her coloring book, perking up and watching you.

“Is it them?” Tatum asked, setting her crayon aside and sitting up. You nodded with a smile and opened the front door, stepping out to greet the two. You embraced them both and got the luggage out of the car, heading inside and setting it aside. Sidney greeted the two of them, holding Neil at her hip. Samantha gasped softly and cooed, stepping forward and letting Neil grasp her finger with his small hand. 

“Girls, come meet your cousins!” You called. Tatum stood up and waved, glancing back at her younger sister.

“Do you like Elsa?” Sadie asked, pointing at the tv as Frozen played. Tara smiled and nodded, entering the livingroom and sitting beside the girl. The two seemed to click instantly and got to chatting. Samantha smiled and let Tatum drag her to her coloring book.

“It’s as if they’ve known each other forever.” Sidney muttered, gazing at the girls fondly.

“It was meant to be.” 

[leviackermanscleaningbuddy]

#asktheskzpack

What is everyones age range? Also which Alpha is the hardest to help through rut? Same with the Omegas?

Author here! I'm just gonna answer your age question right quick. 😘 Everyone in the pack!universe, I imagine to be the age they are now, in real life. Except (Y/N), she can be your age or whatever you'd like. I usually envision her as older than everyone honestly, except maybe Chan, but that's probably because I'm a noona myself. (Older than allll of those babies.) 😂

************************************************************************

"Hyunjin-" Chan starts, treading carefully, glancing at the omega, even as the luna gives him an encouraging nod, telling him to go on. "-is notoriously hard to help through his heats."

"He's always been extremely picky when it comes to his nests and heat rituals." You agree, nodding. "That hasn't changed. But they didn't used to be as bad or as difficult as they are now."

"The suppressants fuck a lot of things up." Hyunjin admits quietly, and Jisung reaches out to intertwine their fingers in a silent show of support, earning him a soft smile from the omega sitting beside him. "But if I'm not on them, then things are even worse."

"Yeah, Jinnie's heats are absolute hell." Felix murmurs, looking sad and more than a little sympathetic. "And he gets more than his traditional two because of Innie and I if he's not religiously taking his suppressants."

"That's not your fault, baby." Hyunjin hurries to soothe the other omega, shooting him a soft look. "My body is just overly sensitive to the two of you."

"His heats usually last longer too, and they're more intense, traditionally." Chan says seriously, slipping entirely into protective, head alpha mode now. "We all do our best to help alleviate the stress and the symptoms, but usually, Changbin's the one who ends up helping him through when things get bad. It's his preference, his safe space."

"Emotional support alpha, if you will." Hyunjin teases, smirking at Changbin, who winks at him in return.

"Always, baby."

"He also has a big dick, and a great knot, so those things don't hurt." Jisung snickers, and Hyunjin, for once, nods in agreement with the beta, even as Changbin flushes.

"Absolutely. Amen."

"The drop afterward though-" Changbin rushes to change the subject, his ears bright red. "-(Y/N)'s the go to for that one. (Y/N) and the other omegas."

"Aftercare is really important to omegas." Felix nods, glancing at Hyunjin. "Especially to lunas, and Jinnie is no exception. Even more so, since his heats are so intense and exhausting. He kinda goes nonverbal and withdraws into himself afterward-that's the 'drop' hyung is talking about-and it's important he has packmates to help him through it."

"He gets real clingy with Changbin though." Chan smiles affectionately now, voice amused. "Won't let him out of his sight for the couple of days after his heat."

Hyunjin shrugs good naturedly. "Guilty."

"As far as ruts go-" Chan begins slowly, and all the alphas, in sync, look toward Minho, who up until this point, has been silently observing the conversation.

He arches a brow and widens his eyes comically however when the attention switches to him, voice innocent. "What?"

"You know what." Changbin grumbles, rolling his eyes.

Minho turns his blank expression to the other alpha, his face straight, as he says, "No, Seo Changbin, I don't 'know what'. Please enlighten me."

"Oh my god." You roll your eyes now, biting back an exasperated smile as you turn to Minho, his gaze now on you. "You are so goddamn difficult when you're in rut, Lee Minho, and you know it, that's what."

"No."

"Yes." Changbin parrots back, firmer now, staring pointedly at Minho. "You're a fucking nightmare, hyung."

"Hyung, I adore you, you know this-" Jisung starts, reaching out a hand to Minho, who looks like he's going to end you all. "-but they're right. You're absolutely terrible in rut."

"Okay." Minho agrees casually, his face still expressionless. He sits back and crosses his legs. "Why?"

"Do you want a list?" Hyunjin sputters out in total disbelief, already ticking reasons off on his fingers without being asked. "You self isolate, you pull away, you don't ask for help until you're basically in agony, you're terribly picky when it comes to who helps you, and you won't ever admit that you needed help in the first place, even after your rut is over. Should I keep going?"

Minho smirks. "What I'm hearing, Hwang Hyunjin, is that I'm an independent bitch who don't need no man."

"Hashtag girl boss." Jeongin nods sagely.

"Did you just say hashtag?"

"Yeah. The moment called for it."

"Fair."

[saintminseok]

THIS is what the writers took away from me. That smile, the happy well deserved ending!

TALE OF THE NINE TAILED (2020) - Family

[slothspaghettiwrites]

38 from the kiss prompt got me in my sweet feelings 🥺 like imagine doing that to Sheriff Daddy or Ransom 🥰 and all the sweetness that ensues

—K

Whispering “I love you” before a chaste, delicate kiss.

😭😭😭😭😭

Goodbye

Warnings: ANGST, CANON NONSENSE, SADNESS, revenge.

🖤🖤🖤

A sea of black veils and over starched shirts. It was all you could focus on, words of wisdom, sorrow, and support just bounced off your stiff upper lip. You'd done your best with what little you had, white carnations and lilies surround the room. The florist had said they were an odd pairing- good luck, pure love, commitment, purity.

They were all things Lee wasn't. His cold, lifeless body lay dressed in his best suit. If he'd been those things, he wouldn't have been shot. Lee would probably be down at his office on this sweltering Tuesday morning, instead of lying in an over priced box. You could picture him sat at his desk, phone tucked between his ear and shoulder, cigarette dangling from his lips while he did his work.

His leather jacket was heavy on your shoulders as more people that were probably relieved he was gone stopped and wished you condolences - we're sorry for your loss, he's in a better place now, it gets easier.

As the day dragged on your eyes kept drifting to the portrait of him in his sheriff's uniform. He had been so excited to be elected, had worked so hard to win. He'd do whatever it took to get what he wanted. Lee really thought in the position of power people would respect him, fear him even, and recognise what he was capable of. You'd just wish he'd stop to think about his actions.

"The last of the guests have left, Mrs. Bodecker," the funeral director stood in front of you now, the hall empty, dead just like your husband.

"May I have a few minutes alone with him?"

With a curt nod, you were suddenly alone with your husband again. You stood over him, stroked his cheek gently, his skin tacky with the heavy make up put on him to make him look alive. Bending over slightly, you pressed your forehead to his, the skin feeling stiff and so unlike the man you used to know.

"I love you," your lips barely touched his. They didn't feel like your Lee's lips. Your Lee has soft, plush lips, they were always a bit chapped because of him licking them all the time. Your Lee tasted like lemon heads and smelled a bit like cigarettes.

This Lee tasted of nothing and smelled of embalming fluids. You let tears drop from your eye onto his cheeks, his eyes, his lips. Emotions you'd been holding in since the deputy first rang your doorbell flooded you mind. Your lips pulled back in anger as you snarled.

"I will find 'em, Lee, the bastard that shot ya, and I'll kill him. I promise, Baby."

🖤🖤🖤

[saintminseok]

LEE RANG FUCKING DESERVES BETTER

[saintminseok]

I will NEVER forgive the writers for this, NEVER!!!

It looks like you’ve found yourself a family. Now you’re cherishing your life. Wait, we still have time. Can you call them? At least let me say goodbye.

[thekidultlife]

Plot: After an unexpected encounter with Yoon Jeonghan during a baby shower, more memories unfold from your mind, and his.

Genre: slice of life, angst

Pairing: Jeonghan + fem!reader + Mingyu

Warnings: a bit of explicit language

A/N: Many thanks to my incredibly amazing beta reader, @secndlife​, for helping me make this beautiful! Also, I would like to express my gratitude to @xuseokgyu​ for taking the time to make lovely banners and even a teaser for this series! You are both a joy to work with and I am so blessed to have you both help me. 🧡 Lastly, to our followers and readers who are continually supporting this blog despite its inactivity, thank you! More details about my future works will be addressed after this fic.

Taglist: @haotheheckk, @jeonjungkaka, @soonhoonsol, @fluffyhyeju, @minkwans​

“If you love me like you tell me, please be careful with my heart. you can take it, just don’t break it — or my world will fall apart.”

🍁🎧🧡

The cobbled pavements of the narrow alley you were walking on were damp from the rain that had recently poured. It was chipped and uneven in some places, and your thin-strapped sandals would sometimes slip and get stuck between the cobblestones. Despite the imperfections of this street, you had come to love it, just like every other self-respecting college student living around the vicinity. Behind you, the signage of restaurants and thrift stores flashed in bright neon blues and violets, blending with the honey-golden glow of the lights coming from the shops and apartment buildings that rose around you.

This alley was the most beautiful place to go to in the city. 

It was a beautiful Saturday night, too, and in your opinion, you had spent it well.

You were walking back to the dorms with your friends and a couple of seniors. You were in the back of the group, where it was quieter. Clutching your arm was Jung Mirae, one of your roommates, who was struggling to walk straight after too many beers. 

In the process of half-dragging Mirae, an alarm from your phone rang. You hasted to get it switched off. 

Bright laughter pierced the stillness as the ones just a few steps ahead of you, Park Hyewon and Lee Joonyoung, your best friends besides Mirae, kept on cracking jokes that would make the whole group roar with laughter. You giggled at their ridiculousness occasionally while trying to keep Mirae on her feet. 

Hangout nights are incomplete without these two, you thought to yourself, as you studied long-legged, pink-haired Hyewon and the tall, broad-shouldered Joonyoung. You watched as they made mean comments at each other and then made up for the teasing by giving each other kisses.

“Gross!” someone called out from behind you, and you could not help but smile. 

Joonyoung turned around and playfully gave the finger to the person who had shouted out. "Go get yourself a girlfriend, Sunwoo! It's clear to me that you’re in need of love.” 

The group snickered at Joonyoung's words.

As you listened to everyone talk about how good the night was and how hellish the next week would be with final exams coming up, you felt cold fingers touch your cheek.

You turned to Mirae, who was looking up at you with quizzical—albeit drunken—eyes. 

“Hey, Y/N." Mirae’s voice was loud and clear in the narrow alley. You brushed her hand away gently. "Why are you crying?” 

“What do you mean?” You put a hand over her mouth and tried to tell her to stop spouting off nonsense, but it was then that you felt it—the wet trickle of tears on your face. Surprised, you wiped them away with your hand.

It was true.

You were crying.

The walking paused. Footsteps ceased over the cobbled pavement as everyone halted to look over at you. Your cheeks reddened at the unwanted attention.

“Y/N, is something wrong? Here, let me have Mirae.” One of your classmates reached out to take Mirae.

“Thank you.” I think I drank too much, you despaired, as you kept wiping at your face and waving people away. You made attempts to control your emotions, but nothing could stop the tears from coursing down your cheeks.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you kept saying over and over with a hoarse voice that almost didn’t sound like you. “Keep walking, please! Don’t mind me. I think I just drank too much.” You gave a shaky laugh and rubbed your eyes. “I get like this sometimes. Sorry.” 

“You did not drink too much tonight, though,” someone commented dubiously. The others agreed and continued to look at you with confused expressions. "You never do."

“Jin-ah is right. And you don’t ‘get like this sometimes,’ babe.” Just a few feet away from you and leaning against Joonyoung, Hyewon crossed her arms. Her face, full of concern over your sudden outburst of emotions, made her look as though she hadn’t spent the night drinking as much as the guys did. “What's wrong?” 

“I really don’t know, to be honest.” You pushed a strand of hair away from your face and made a poor attempt to smile at Hyewon. "I think it’s just the beer. Really."

Hyewon looked like she didn’t want to stop questioning you.

Please don’t ask me anything more, you begged with your eyes.

Joonyoung nudged Hyewon casually.

"Okay." Hyewon shrugged as she reluctantly conceded to your lame answers. She walked up to you, linked her arm with yours, and turned to grin at the others placatingly. “Let’s go home for real, gang! I think my girlfriend here just needs to sleep.”

Everyone nodded, put on happy faces, and eagerly put the awkward scene behind them. They once again started with the jokes and laughter and even managed to loop you into their silly conversations. However, their eyes avoided you most of the time, and their jokes were careful. You sensed that nobody wanted to have any part in pulling any triggers you might have. Tonight was no time to be sad. With finals coming up, no one needed any sort of emotional baggage. You felt bad for making them cautious, but you were also grateful for their thoughtfulness about your feelings.

The happy atmosphere became short-lived, though, as five minutes later, a sound cut through the alley and through the facades that everyone was putting up for your sake. It made all of them stop in their tracks once more. Even Hyewon stiffened beside you. 

The sound perfectly explained everything that was going on with you, and there was no hiding it now.

Your alarm was playing again. 

“Oh, fuck.” Hyewon let out a huge breath and squeezed her eyes shut. She looked as though she was trying to block out the sound. “Y/N, for goodness’ sake, don’t be an idiot. Don’t listen to it. Turn it off—”

But of course, like an idiot, you listened.

“Hey there. If you find yourself listening to this, then it means we have made it to Year 3. Please meet me at the same place where we are tonight: the art pier, one hour before the day ends. I'll be the stupid-looking guy standing by the yacht statue while holding too many roses. I love you. Happy Anniversary!"

This alarm shouldn’t be ringing—because you didn’t make it to Year 3.

“Please turn it off.”

Joonyoung, who was right behind you, reached for your bag, rummaged inside, and pulled out your phone. Glaring at the screen, he shut it off and dropped the phone in the bag again.

The alleyway was silent for a while.

Hyewon sighed. And then she leaned against you and said softly, “Let’s go home.”

The cobbled pavements of the narrow alley you were still walking on were damp from the rain that had recently poured. Hands would steady you from behind when your thin-strapped sandals would slip and get stuck between the loose cobblestones. No one drunk should walk on this alley with its imperfect pavements, but you had come to love it, just like every other self-respecting college student living around the vicinity. As you passed, the signage of restaurants and thrift stores flashed in bright neon blues and violets before melting into the ever-constant amber colors of the street lights.

This alley was the most beautiful place to go to in this city. 

It was a beautiful Saturday night, too, and in your opinion, you had spent it well. But you weren’t supposed to spend this night here. Not in this place, despite its beauty, no. 

You were supposed to be somewhere else. 

You were supposed to be with someone else.

“I know that everybody here is trying to be nice, but let me say it for all of you here, so you don’t have to wonder how it sounds.” Joonyoung kicked a crumpled beer can out of his way as he walked. “Fuck Yoon Jeonghan.”

“Oh, please, Lee Joonyoung.” Hyewon sounded tired. “Thank you for making Y/N more miserable.”

“What do you mean? Bubs, I’m not the douchebag who—ah, whatever.” Joonyoung shrugged and flung middle fingers up the sky. “Wherever you are, Yoon Jeonghan, fuck you!” 

“He’s completely drunk,” Hyewon said apologetically, looking around her; some of the campus seniors with you were friends of Jeonghan’s. “Sorry.” And then, looking at Joonyoung exasperatedly, she hissed, “Joonyoung. Cut it out.” 

“Let him be,” you said in a drained voice, “let him be.”

You were supposed to be with Yoon Jeonghan tonight, but you weren’t. He was long gone, and all you have left of him was something that you had somehow forgotten to remove, something you wished so desperately to forget. 

All you have left of him was his voice—frozen in time through that alarm.

The rest was memories and history. 

🍁🎧🧡

Mingyu sips from a coffee mug and nods in understanding as you finish speaking. He leans back on one of the steps of the townhouse, where you both sit. Cars drive down your neighborhood street, their headlights coloring the concrete road with hazy white and yellow lights. You watch their signals blink as they find spaces to park. Leaves continue to fall, and some end up in your hair. You feel Mingyu brush them away. You smile and do the same for him.

It is way past midnight, and here you both sit, snuggling to keep warm against the cold night air and talking about a love long gone.

“So,” Mingyu traces the rim of his coffee cup as he puts the pieces together, “you and Jeonghan-hyung dated during uni days?”

You nod. “Mm-hmm. We dated for two years. And then we broke up during my junior year, which was when that alley story happened.” You look at your boyfriend in mock suspicion. “Not that I’m complaining, but are you sure you want to listen to this story? Because we don’t need to talk about this if you aren’t comfortable—” 

“—No, no, baby, I’m okay!” Mingyu chuckles a little bit as he turns to you. “I’m perfectly fine. I really want to know. If you’re not comfortable talking about it, though, we could just put it behind us.” He smiles at you. “I’m okay either way.”

He had stepped onto a minefield of your past without warning. He’s not supposed to be okay either way. You keep staring at him, not believing what he said.

“But, babe…” You sigh as you look at him. “Instead of talking about how Jeonghan and I ended up dating years ago, why don’t we talk about other things first?” You keep searching his face for any sign of uneasiness, any sign of hurt or confusion. “Like, how you felt when you found out. Or, how to avoid getting ambushed by stuff like this in the future.” You lean against him. “I don’t want something like this to happen again, no matter how great we both are at handling surprises. I think this is a good time to talk about things we haven’t talked about yet. Exes, our most embarrassing moments—” you giggle as Mingyu laughs at your last words. “Hey, I’m serious here!”

Your mind recalls the events of the night. You remember twirling in front of your full-length mirror to admire your new dress. You remember how perfect Mingyu had looked when he stepped out of his car and walked up to you. You remember the car ride, the conversation that you had about meeting his family and kissing underneath the porchlight of Aera’s house. You remember the baby shower: meeting Mingyu’s parents, Kim Aera, and Mingyu’s other friends. You remember how happy and secure you felt with Mingyu beside you as he introduced you to his family and some high-profile friends. You remember the crib and the games.

You remember Choi Seungcheol’s surprised expression and shaking Yoon Jeonghan’s hand for the first time in years. You remember Kwon Soonyoung’s drunken announcement.

“So, the former flames have finally met!” 

“Well, I guess I got surprised when I found out that you guys used to date,” Mingyu clarifies, “but if we will talk about whether I had strong, negative feelings about the whole thing...” his voice trails off as he looks at you.

“...Uh-huh?” you prod.

Mingyu shakes his head. “I didn’t have any.” He squeezes your hand reassuringly. “You don’t have to worry about me. To be honest, what surprised me the most was the fact that I handled the situation pretty well. Back when we were still at Aera’s house, I really did my best to be careful with how I took in the whole thing. I took care not to show how surprised I was with my expressions, my words...”

“Mm-hmm.” You nod along with him as his voice trails off. “Yes. I agree. You handled it pretty well. But I am still so sorry for dropping that bomb on you that way.” You look up at him with an apologetic expression. “We haven’t really talked about past relationships that much yet, so...” 

“Y/N, please don’t overthink.” His face hovers inches away from yours as he looks deep into your eyes. “See?” He makes all sorts of cute expressions, and you couldn’t help but smile. “I’m okay.” 

You become willing to believe him, but then you catch him looking at you with a twinkle in his eye.

“Although,” Mingyu adds, “I did feel a bit self-conscious.” He sighs dramatically, and he pouts—adorably. “I mean, he’s the Yoon Jeonghan. You dated the Yoon Jeonghan that most girls nowadays are swooning over. Who am I compared to that?”

As he continues to make such cute faces while saying the most outrageous things, you stare at him, open-mouthed. “What the hell.” You had seen through his joke, of course, but you could not help but look at him incredulously. “Is my boyfriend actually saying this to me right now while looking so drop-dead gorgeous beside me? Is he really comparing himself right now to someone else?”

Mingyu ignores your words and continues. “Yoon Jeonghan, actor extraordinaire, ranking twentieth at this year’s Asia’s Sexiest 100. Hmm. Yes.” He considers his words and nods. “I did feel intimidated. He’s good-looking and is amazing at acting and—”

“—Whoa, whoa, whoa.” You put your mug down beside you, and you giggle as you take Mingyu’s face in your hands. “You are one gorgeous person, too, and I am so, so in love with you. Stop comparing yourself to him.” You nuzzle his face, smiling. “I know you’re just joking about this, but please. Stop.”

He continues to look at you with a playful pout, but his eyes turn darker voice drops a notch lower. “Make me.” 

You feel him grin against your lips as you make him stop speaking.

At the back of your head, you remember Kim Aera’s words when she talked about her husband.

“Not all women are as fortunate as I am, you know? Some of us meet such crappy guys that it’s a miracle I ended up finding someone worth the wedding vows.” 

You aren’t one to believe in fortunes, so you try to think about all the things you must have done right to deserve a man such as Kim Mingyu. More importantly, you wonder if you would be able to keep him by your side. 

Too much thinking, too much thinking, you chastise yourself as you kiss Mingyu harder, wanting to erase everything from your mind.

“I love you,” you say after a while.

“I love you, too. But where were we with your story?” Mingyu lets go of you and takes his mug once more. Leaves still fall from the trees. The streetlights glow brighter as midnight darkens. A green sedan stops directly across you both, and you watch as a man staggers out of the driver’s side. 

“Well, if you really want to hear all about it, it would take us all night.” You look up at him with an enticing, hopeful smile. “Do you want to stay the night here? Hyewon and Joonyoung would be thrilled to have you. We can do storytime together with them.” You shake your head. “I still haven’t said a word to them about meeting Jeonghan again because we only went upstairs to get coffee. Hyewon will get a kick out of this.”

Mingyu laughs softly. “I can imagine.” He kisses your forehead before taking your hand. “Let’s head back inside.”

No more cars drive down your neighborhood street. No more hazy yellow and white headlights color the dark concrete road. Mingyu takes your hand and pulls you up from the steps. You feel him brush away some leaves from your hair once more. You look up at him appreciatively, and you do the same for him. Across the street, a glaring woman opens the front door for the drunken man from the green sedan.

You retreat indoors for the night. You think about how to tell Mingyu everything. And when Hyewon opens the door to greet you both, you wonder if she and Joonyoung would help you get the facts right about how you and Jeonghan started and how you and Jeonghan eventually ended.

With all these thoughts in your head, you faintly hear your phone ring in your purse. Getting a sense of déjà vu from the story that you had told Mingyu earlier, you feel chills run up and down your spine as you pull your phone out.

“Who’s your midnight caller, girlfriend?” Hyewon goodnaturedly teases as she takes your empty mug from your hand. Her face looks flushed, and you remember that she and Joonyoung had been drinking when you left them earlier. “Joonyoung! Mingyu’s here!”

“I have a confession to make,” you say as you look at the caller ID. “Mingyu and I ran into Jeonghan and Seungcheol at his cousin’s baby shower.”

Hyewon’s face pales at your words. “You what?”  

“We did,” Mingyu says softly, scratching his head while smiling at Hyewon. “He’s a good hyung of mine and Aera’s in the industry. We’ve been friends for a long time, but I didn’t know that he and Y/N used to date.” 

“Huh,” Hyewon breathes out. “All these years, the only way we could see him was on TV. We never ran across him, ever. And now we find out that he’s good friends with your boyfriend’s family.” Hyewon raises her eyebrows and shakes her head. “Imagine that.” 

“You met Jeonghan?” Joonyoung bounds into the foyer, which suddenly becomes crowded with the four of you there. “Was he with anyone else?” 

“Just him and Seungcheol-hyung,” Mingyu answers.

“Let’s not talk about this here. Come on in, you two. We still have some pizza, chicken, and beer.” Hyewon manages to push the two guys into the living room. She turns to you, clearly wanting to talk to you in private, but you put up a hand. 

“Hold on.” Your phone is vibrating in your hand, and you hastily answer the call. “Hello?”

🍁🎧🧡

He leans on the railings of the rooftop bar, a drink in one hand and a phone in the other. As he gazes at the city below, he knows that he has had too much to drink. The lights have started to pulse too much. The numbness inside him has finally reached his fingertips. He considers stopping to drink this last glass, but his call finally goes through. 

At the sound of the voice on the other line, he decides that he needs this one last shot of bourbon.

“I know that it’s too late to call you now,” he whispers almost inaudibly, “but if I don’t say this tonight, I probably never will.”

He lets go of the empty glass in his hand, and he watches as it shatters on the ground. 

“I miss you,” he says, oblivious of the curses and complaints from the people around him. “And I know that you’re in a happy place now, but I—” A painful pause ensues as he stands there, lost for words. Shifting his weight from one foot to another, he tries to ignore the ache in his throat and the burning in his eyes. “—I just wanted you to know that. Everything about this call feels wrong because I know that I am not supposed to and that I have no right to call you anymore, but I will never stop wondering how these words sound like if I don’t say it right now.” A tortured grin spreads across his lips. “I miss you.”

The phone falls out of his hands, and he blindly falls to the ground to pick it up. Sharp fragments from the broken glass cut through his skin and the material of his pants, but he doesn’t feel the pain. He is too numb right now. He couldn’t even feel his legs. As he futilely tries to smoothen the cracked screen on his phone, he hears a loud voice coming from a megaphone. 

“And cut!” The director’s voice rings loud and clear throughout the rooftop bar. He walks over to Jeonghan, who is still trying to bring his phone back to life. “Okay, did I suddenly step into some shitty romance movie after the break? What was all that?” The director impatiently turns around and gestures to the crew behind him. “I need a medical kit here; and another phone, please. Geez. What has gotten into you tonight?” 

“Sorry,” Jeonghan says apologetically. “I just got too immersed with my role.” He shakily stands up. “And I can’t feel my legs.”

The director shakes his head. “Look, Jeonghan, I know that you love ad-libs. I love your ad-libs, too. You know that. But your last lines threw me off.” He squints his eyes suspiciously at Jeonghan. “Where did you go tonight? You were fine the whole day, and then you suddenly get picked up by your friend. The minute you come back to work, you’re a different person.” He shakes his head again and walks away. “Read the script and pull yourself together. We’ll be taking a short break. And apologize to your co-star for spouting out all that mushy stuff!”

“What was that about?” Seungcheol has appeared from out of nowhere, arms crossed. “Why were you telling Jihoon that you missed him?”

Jeonghan laughs. He gestures weakly with his hand as he answers, “It’s the bourbon.”

“Who on earth actually drinks half a dozen shots while filming?” Seungcheol pauses as he studies Jeonghan’s face. “And why are you crying?” 

“I’m not.” Jeonghan wipes away something wet from his face. “Stop bitching, Cheol, and just help me sit down somewhere.” 

“Oh, Yoon Jeonghan.” Seungcheol sighs as guides Jeonghan to the nearest steel chair. “You said you would be able to come back to work after the baby shower! God, I was an idiot for believing you.” 

“This is not about the baby shower,” Jeonghan protests weakly as he leans back against the chair. “Leave me alone and let me rest. Please.” He closes his eyes. 

“So," Seungcheol fishes around for words, "what was that about?"

Jeonghan doesn’t answer. 

Seungcheol sighs again. “Was she the one you were ‘talking to’ in that phone call?” 

Silence. 

“Jeonghan—”

“—She looked happy.” Jeonghan’s voice is calm, but tears still escape his closed eyes. He leans to the side as though he wanted to sleep. “They looked happy. And when I saw them kiss by the front porch when we got to Aera’s, I felt funny." He grins. "I felt funny because a part of me got hurt—” He pounds his chest. “—Right here.” His grin widens. "I don't know. Maybe I'm just like this because I haven't seen her for a long time."

The rooftop bar is buzzing with activity: the director is making changes with the camera angles, someone is adjusting the brightness of the floodlights, and the extras are practicing the not-so-easy art of blending in with the scene. Jeonghan hears someone sweep the broken glass from the tiled floor.

“Mingyu is a good guy,” Seungcheol offers sympathetically. “At least we can both be sure that she will be alright.” 

“Mm-hmm.” Jeonghan continues pounding his chest with his bandaged hand. “I know.” 

“You are my first romance, and I’m willing to take a chance that till life is through, I’d still be loving you.”

🍁🎧🧡

The cobbled pavements of the narrow alley that he is walking on are still the same. It feels damp, even though no rain had poured that night. It is still chipped and uneven in some places, and he remembers how your thin-strapped sandals would sometimes slip and get stuck between the cobblestones. Despite the imperfections of this street, he knows that you loved it. But while you had loved this place for its bright lights and broken cobblestones, he had loved it for what it contained: the restaurants and thrift stores, all of which still had signs that flash in bright neon blues and violets. 

And he loved them because of the memories he had created inside them—memories that he had made with you.

He vividly remembers the first plate of spaghetti that you shared at Georgie’s, a quaint restaurant that would have been considered Italian but for the sweet spaghetti sauce that it serves. He has not forgotten the taste because he still goes there on Thursdays. And he has never forgotten the way you had laughed while eating spaghetti as he confessed that he wanted to date you.

“You have no idea how ridiculous that sounds coming out of your mouth,” you had said while pushing away your plate. Your eyes had been gleaming with humor then, but your voice had been guarded and careful. “To put it simply, sunbae, I am not going to date you.” You had shrugged, and locks of your hair had tumbled across that denim jacket that he had loved seeing on you. “You know why.” 

He had known then.

You had never fallen in love before. That knowledge should have made him cautious, but he admits to himself now that it had made him all the more desperate to snag that spot in your heart marked, “First Love.” 

It was at Georgie’s that you had first rejected him, but it was there that you also said yes to him a few months later. Twirling pasta in your plate, you had murmured, “Okay. Let’s date. But Yoon Jeonghan—” Your voice had shaken. And then you had looked at him. 

“Please be careful with my heart.”

He had answered that with your first kiss.

At signless thrift stores that are scattered a few stalls away from each other, Jeonghan remembers patiently waiting for you as you picked clothes for him and art supplies for yourself. He remembers how you would stand to the side to let Hyewon and Mirae haggle with the storekeeper. He remembers your apologetic expression when you felt like Hyewon or Mirae had taken the bargaining too far. He smiles as he remembers how embarrassed you would be during those times.

And then he smiles wider as he remembers Hyewon’s sharp fingernails that had dug on his shoulder when she pulled him aside during the first time he tagged along for the shopping. He chuckles as he remembers how menacing she had looked. 

“If dating my goody-two-shoes Y/N is payback because I broke your best friend’s heart a few years ago,” Hyewon warns darkly, “then you’d better know that I’ll be coming for you. And I have no qualms whatsoever about tearing you to shreds. You got that?” She had dug her nails deeper at that point. 

“I don’t care what history you had with my best friend,” he had answered calmly. “I am dating Y/N because I love her. That’s all there is. You’re reading way too much into this, Park Hyewon.” 

“Am I?” Hyewon had scoffed, clearly unconvinced. “Yoon Jeonghan, why are you dating Y/N? The real reason, please."

"I love her," he repeated. "That's all."

"No. That's not it. I refuse to believe that’s your reason. And we both know here that you can’t fool me with that crap.” She had let go of him then, but not before throwing out a few more words that sounded like a prophecy. Throwing up her hands in the air and rolling her eyes, she had said, “I’m calling it: you’ll only break Y/N's heart.”

Funny how Hyewon turned out to be right. 

“This alley is the most beautiful place to go to in the city, isn’t it?” 

At that moment, Jeonghan stops in his tracks. He stops reminiscing. 

He whirls around, his eyes wide and almost sober, searching for the owner of that voice. His heartbeats quicken. He clenches his jaw as another knife of pain stabs through him at those words. 

You used to say the same thing to him. You used to say those words while holding his hand or whenever he would kiss you unannounced while you walked this street. You used to say those words while looking up at him. He would never get lost anywhere in the world, but he used to get lost in your eyes when you did so.

He squints his eyes, certain that it had been you who had spoken. But as his vision focuses on the owner of the voice, he feels his heart sink inside him. 

Of course, it wasn’t you. Jeonghan laughs at himself and his stupidity.

It wasn’t you. It was some stupid co-ed echoing the words that any college student would say about this street. It wasn’t you because you were long gone from him now, and he had nothing left of you but all these memories that still plague him in this fucking alleyway.

It wasn’t you because Jeonghan had done what Hyewon had said that he would do. 

A hand grabs his arm. “Let’s go, Yoon Jeonghan. You shouldn’t be here.” 

Jeonghan recognizes Seungcheol’s voice. He grins at his friend’s frustrated face as he trips on a stupid loose cobblestone. “Hello, there. Why do you keep appearing out of nowhere? And did you also think of Hyewon while following me along this legendary street? You only loved this street because of Hyewon, but you still feel it, right?” Jeonghan helps himself up and absently studies his dirtied pants. “The nostalgia this place evokes?”

“Shut up,” Seungcheol snaps, “just shut up. You know, I expected you to act more maturely than this, Jeonghan.” 

“What?” Jeonghan laughs. “Can’t a guy walk in peace?” 

Seungcheol stops walking. He lets go of Jeonghan’s arm, and he faces Jeonghan with a furious expression. “You have no right to get hung up over Y/N,” he says with a poisonous tone. “You have no right at all.” 

Seungcheol’s words slice through Jeonghan like a blade he didn’t see coming. He wasn't able to brace for it. He didn’t expect those words to come, especially from Seungcheol.

“You broke her heart.” Seungcheol’s tone is more fit for a eulogy than for a conversation with his best friend. “You made a choice years ago. What did you expect the ending to be? You can’t cry now.” His face softens. “Be a man. Accept that she’s moved on. Did you see her face earlier at the baby shower? She didn’t even look at you with any hurt or anger.” He presses a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder. “She looks happy. Was she surprised to have seen you? Yes. But she has clearly moved on, and so should you.”

There is silence for a while until Seungcheol hands him a face mask. 

"Spare yourself the hell you'd experience from gossip rags and wear the fucking mask. You look terrible and stupid, coming here without any disguise at all. These aren’t uni days anymore, dumbass."

The cobbled pavements of the narrow alley that Jeonghan and Seungcheol are walking on are still the same. It feels damp, even though no rain had poured that night. It is chipped and uneven in some places, and both men could still remember how easily one could trip and fall on the slippery cobblestones. But despite the imperfections of this street, they both know someone who had loved it for what it was.

Yes, you had loved this alleyway for its bright lights and broken cobblestones. Seungcheol had loved it because of your friend Hyewon, but Jeonghan had loved it for what it contained: the restaurants and thrift stores, all of which still had signs that flash in bright neon blues and violets. 

And he loved them because of the memories he had created inside them—memories that he had made with you.

But now he realizes that this alleyway is a literal Memory Lane, bringing him back to the past and clouding his judgment of the present. 

As he walks past Georgie’s, He remembers your words again. 

“Please be careful with my heart.” 

Friday has barely ended, and Saturday is just about to begin, but when Georgie’s fades behind him, he laughs. He laughs like the idiot that he is, and tears pour out of his eyes as he does so.

“I will be true to you—just a promise from you will do: from the very start, please be careful with my heart.”

🍁🎧🧡

The truth has finally hit him.

Everything that he had with you—all of it—is now just memories and history.

And his conviction that he should stop riding this rollercoaster of emotions about you becomes even more pronounced when his phone vibrates, and he picks up a call.

“Where are you?” a woman’s voice asks, worried. “I’ve been up all night waiting at your apartment.”

Seungcheol mouths, Who is it?

Jeonghan flashes the phone at Seungcheol.

It was Jung Mirae.

“I love you and you know I do—there’ll be no one else for me. I promise I’ll be always true, for the world and all to see. Love has heard some lies softly spoken, and I have had my heart badly broken; I’ve been burned and I’ve been hurt before.”

🍁🎧🧡

Mingyu stops staring at the ceiling and turns to look at you. You are sleeping beside him, tucked under his arm, and he is happy. He had spent the night with you, going through your memories and learning from them. He had spent the whole night immersed in the past that you had inside you.

Yes, indeed, he had learned a lot about you tonight. And as he presses a tender kiss to your forehead, he whispers something that you did not hear. He whispers words that he just wants to prove to you with actions.

“I’ll be careful with your heart,” Mingyu whispers as he kisses your hair, your neck, your bare shoulder, “because I know how it feels to get hurt, too.” If you had been awake at that point, you would have seen the pensive, faraway look in his eyes as he walks down his own cobblestoned path—his own Memory Lane. If you had been awake, you would have worried about his expression like he knows you would. So he quickly smiles at your peaceful, sleeping face.

“I have a story, too,” he adds softly, “but I’ll save it for later.” He hugs you close to him. “For now, I’ll just be content with taking care of you.” He kisses your lips, and you stir. “Of us.”

When your eyes open, he shyly ducks under the covers, his twinkling eyes peeking at you. And as you protest that it was late and that he should sleep, he laughs softly, and he nods. “Okay, okay. I’ll take care of you.”

“What?” you ask, uncomprehending. “Say again, baby?”

“Nothing.” He hugs you close again. “Just that I love you.” 

You fall back into sleep at his words, and he keeps watching you until his eyes close on their own.

“I love you,” he whispers again. 

“So I know just how you feel: trust that my love is real for you. I’ll be gentle with your heart—I’ll caress it like the morning dew. I’ll be right beside you forever, I won’t let our world fall apart. From the very start, I’ll be careful with your heart.”

Author’s Note: Thank you very much for reading! I know that I have been very slow and inconsistent with my updates, but as long as there are unfinished WIPs on this list, please expect me to keep posting, no matter how sporadic. Tell me what you think about this part on the askbox, comments/reblogs! Thank you! - Leanne.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

This one is a winding one, that spans the entire show. But hang with me on this.

Dean’s journey of self can be mapped out in musical performance. 

Let me explain.

It’s not until later in the series that we learn that he wanted to be a rock star (Rock Never Dies and Bad Boys being the big ones here), but it’s not hard to spot from the beginning. . 

So let’s look! 

In season 1, we have Dean singing for the first time. He belts out “Fire of Unknown Origin” by Blue Oyster Cult while pranking Sam with the spoon. This is a happy-go-lucky Dean. He’s having a lighthearted moment and his performance is on-key, with good tone. A little behind on rhythm, but whatever, he’s not paying much attention. He even plays drums on the wheel. That’s pure Dean. He and Sam are still getting used to each other here. He probably sang a ton on the road when it was just him.

In season 2, Dean, while Sam is in the car, sings “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by REO Speedwagon after a somewhat flirty encounter with Jo Harvelle. He’s on key, but breathy, possibly because it’s a little above his singing range. It’s warbly but not bad. And he gets a deep, deep side-eye from Sam along with a “You’re kidding, right?” 

And you can literally see the light just leave Dean’s eyes here as he shuts it down. “I heard the song somewhere and I can’t get it out of my head, I don’t know man.” Because Dean isn’t just reading Sam’s judgement as a bratty little brother judgement. It hits Dean hard that singing, and singing that song in particular is not masculine enough, and so he clamps down on it. Dean is still grieving John here, and still in a point in his life where he feels he has to be like John.

John would not sing REO. 

In season 3, we get three musical moments from Dean. The first one being in A Very Supernatural Christmas where they both sing a very bad, shaky, nonsensical version of Silent Night. It’s played for laughs with the dirty santa, so it doesn’t quite count, but it is a performance so there you go.

Later in season 3, we have the first instance we see of Dean exuberantly lip synching. His singing has been silenced from the REO incident, but he loves music and performing so much, that he can’t help bopping his head along and lip syncing to Heat of the Moment. But it’s manly you see, because he’s not really singing, and “Dude. Asia.” 

The last season 3 musical moment we get is Sam and Dean singing Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi. He sings loud, and he sings off-key here. A small part of me thinks he’s flat because the song isn’t in his range...but a bigger part of me thinks his flatness here is performative. “I love to sing, but it’s socially unacceptable for me to love to sing because I’m a DUDE and singing is for people with feelings, and I don’t show those ever.” 

Season 4 gave us the infamous Eye of the Tiger scene. Obviously the outtake goes WAY harder than what’s in the episode, but it’s another instance of Dean lip syncing with some added air drums. When Dean performs he goes all in. Even in small moments like this, there’s such feeling and joy in it. This is the real Dean - the Dean he wants to be, shining through. 

The next time Dean performs something musical is in season 7, where he lip syncs “I’m All out of Love” by Air Supply. Again, the outtake actually has him singing, but he emotionally mouths the words in the actual episode, much to Sam’s annoyance (NOT because it’s not masculine, But because Dean is lamenting not driving the Impala, and Sam’s just acutely aware that his brother is deeply strange). We’re getting closer though, in terms of Dean’s comfort with himself. His facial expressions alone are indicative that he does not give a damn what Sam thinks in this moment, and that’s really new for him. 

In season 9...we get Bad Boys. Fifteen-year-old Dean in Bad Boys is such an emotional topic. He was learning to play guitar, being given support for the first time since Mary’s death, and was really allowed to be himself. He explicitly wanted to be a musician - a rock star, and at the very least he was on his way to being a proficient musician. This, of course, is all left behind once John shows back up to get him, and Dean decides to leave the boys’ home. We assume that his performative behavior starts here, as chronologically, the next time we see flashback younger Dean is in After School Special (season 5), where he is seventeen and playing a literal, stereotypical bad boy. 

And then…

And then we get season 10, and Demon Dean. 

Oh, Demon Dean.

Not only does Demon Dean have sexual adventures with Crowley, but Demon Dean sings karaoke. He fiddles around on a piano. While Demon Dean is crippled by his very human depression in his episodes with Crowley, he also can’t be bothered at all with the performative stoic masculinity he normally tries so hard to exude. So he sings, because he wants to. But he sings badly, and he sings songs that human Dean - not even a Dean who’s not being performative - would sing. 

It’s almost a mockery of his old self’s dreams of musicianship and rock stardom. “Fuck the old me. Fuck his weaksauce insecurities and fuck his stupid fucking dreams,” is what those song choices and sour notes seem to say. 

And then...we have season 11, and with season 11, we have “Baby.” It makes sense that Bob Seager is a favorite of Dean’s. It’s really simple, straightforward music, that’s surprisingly emotional, and easy to sing (unless you’re trying to emulate Bob’s rasp. I can feel my throat getting scratchy just thinking about it). It’s often about loss, heartache and what it means to have a lonely existence. It’s also been used on the show before (Beautiful Loser plays over the montage of Dean living an apple pie life in the season 6 opener to great effect). 

So in “Baby,” not only does Dean talk about the wisdom of “Night Moves,” but he and Sam sing it, happily, after a night of sexual adventures...or misadventures. “MIstakes were made,” Dean says after a wild night.

Hm. Mistakes. 

But in any case, a relaxed and non-performative Dean comfortably sings Night Moves, and sings it well. 

In Season Twelve’s Rock Never Dies, we see Dean playing the role of a rock star and doing it badly. It’s an incredibly confused disguise because he’s trying to keep up his performative masculinity while also being excited to be a rock star. It’s a failed disguise to say the least. The little boy in Dean trying to play out a fantasy while trying to be who he thinks he has to be.

And finally, in season 15, Dean sings Good Ol’ Boys with his old friend Lee, who coaxes him on stage, teasing him about lip syncing to Eye of the Tiger in his car, which means two things: 

1. Dean’s penchant for lip syncing is well-known by friends and family alike. We only ever see Sam’s reaction previous to this, but it’s implied that other people have caught him in the act. 

2. There is someone in Dean’s life who knows he can sing well and encourages him to do so. 

And then...the lighting. This has been pointed out many, many times, but the light in Lee’s bar is uh…

Well, it’s the bi flag, isn’t it? It’s important to note that I don’t know whether this was on purpose or not. But it certainly exists.

We have this scene where Dean is being coaxed into setting aside his performative behavior and be his true, honest self, for the first time we’ve seen in fifteen years of musical performance, either vocal or mimed. 

I wish we’d gotten more of these moments of musicality from him, but the ones we do get a damn gift.

[infinitegalahad]

Borhap Boys As Sugar Daddies

(reposted bc it was disappearing from the tags😭)

hey guys!! I wanna apolgoize for the disappearance, school is ✨madness✨ luv. so I've decided to try something new. But I promise I'm working on requests (and a bunch of new ideas). I love all of the borhap boys (bc they are babies🥺) so this might become a little series of head canons! no major warnings, just lots of fluff and some suggestive material. also reader is gender neutral (boy, girl, whatever you what it my dudes!) why not mix my fav trope and boys all in...one fic😳😳 anyways hope you guys enjoy!! I would love some feedback for future reference

Masterlist (requests are welcomed!)

Rami Malek-

Number one that gif of him...need I say more? 🥰

I’m sick of how ya’ll sleep on Rami!! I’m gonna give him tons of love

He would be one of the most affectionate sugar daddy’s tbh

Certainly would spoil the HECK out of you

Whether it be paying off your bills or lavish trips to Greece, Rami always has your back

You never had to pay a SINGLE PENNY when you were around him

Being with Rami, you were a changed person

Your fashion game went UPPPP

Like chanel perfume, all designer clothes, nice handbags, you NAME IT

”Rami, I’m not buying a five hundred dollar shirt from Theory.” ”What do you mean? It would look so good on you, sweetheart.”

Yes, Rami bought you the shirt

You two were at a vinyl place and you saw a limited edition queen vinyl

He buys it (and basically 10+ vinyls you love)

SO RAMI MAKES A WHOLE ASS ROOM IN HIS HOME FOR YOUR VINYLS🥺🥺

This man is omfg i loveee him❣️

Little sneak kisses to your forehead

Seeing you smile as you shop and blush at his complaints makes him so freaking happy HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH

He would take you shopping at the best stores

“I would be fine at a target, y’know” as you look around a Gucci store

Rami would snake an arm around your waist as he cooed into your ear, “My baby deserves the best, and nothing but the best

What started out as an arrangement turned into a genuine relationship

When looking for a sugarbaby, Rami was simply looking for company (and someone to spoil the heck out of)

In all truth, he was simply a lonely guy who simply wanted someone to make happy, and made himself happy in the process

Wherever you guys would go, he would always wanna hold your hand and be close to you bc he’s scared of loosing someone he’s made a connection with

And i’m totally not crying as I write this

Both of you were in dark places when you first met

Rami showed how much he truly cared about you

If you called him all upset, he would SPEED over with whatever you needed whether it be pizza or emotional support

Sitting on your couch, his arm wrapped around yours as you vented about your problems

Rami had convinced you to drop your job and come live with him because he’s a KING!!

”Angel, you’re not gonna have to worry about anymore.” ”What do you mean?”

You ended up quitting your job and moving in with him

What turned into an arrangement became an intimate relationship

The sex between you to was AMAZING

it was VERY intimate

It started off slow but would get increasingly rougher god I hate what I said

Rami would always check up and you and NEVER go past your limits

It would end with the two of you cuddling in bed

Let’s just say you never had to worry about your bills ever again😎😎

I MADE MYSELF CRY WHYYY

Gwilym Lee-

my love for this man? ENDLESS

Seriosuly gwilym lee HAVE MY CHILDERN

anyways to the pLOT

Gwilym is the sexiest and cutest man alive

The sugar daddy that will bring you EVERYWHERE HE GOES

He’s such a gentlemen

Like all relationships start, it was more of an arrangement then a relationship

Your job was to escort Gwilym at all these events as “company”

Gwilym would send a bunch of nice items and a driver to bring you to the location

”Hope you like this ❤️ xxx”   “Treat yourself! 😘xxx”

Like mister I-😳😳

Gwilym is literally such a sweet person

Whenever you were spotted with him, you would get thousands of compliemnts/questions

”You’re with Gwilym! So lucky!”

”That necklace is to kill for! Did Gwilym give it to you?”

”Teach my your ways!”

Whenever you’re at these events all these people give you evil stares

Your like👁👄👁 “is Gwilym a playboy??”

Gwilym is all like “what do you mean?? 🥺Of course not! Your the only one that matters to me right now”

He’s such a king we LOVE HIM

Spontaneous trips to France and Italy

Gwilym and you grow super close

Also your dates would range from fancy galas for Gwilym’s works or peaceful book/poetry readings

He LOVES books and always takes you to bookstores and gives his best recommendations

He literally turns into an english teacher while overanalyzing books

”The greenlight in Green Gatbsy is such a crucial symbol”

”Jane Austen is one of the best feminist writers, she was so ahead of her time!”

You wanna be annoyed but can’t

i can’t I LOVE GWILYM LEE I’M NOT SORRY

The two of you would lie in bed together

You would be slouched against his body as he stroked your hair, reading to you in that accent

As much as you love your gentlemen, you get him into the wacky world of ninety day fiance

”This looks like trash...I’m going to watch every minute of it!”

You guys order chinese food and watch this obsessviely for six hours

I know this is meant to be fluffy but why not add some 🌶

Sex with you and Gwil is like ✨fireworks✨

He would make sure you wouldn’t be able to walk the next day let’s just say😉

He would have to carry you around and kiss your head, saying “You're so adorable, poppet” or “Don’t strain your legs, Cariad!”

Also ceo of AMAZING NICKNAMES

”My anwylyd” (Welsh for dearest)

Would 100% write you romantic poems (over text and in paper)

And yes he WOULD dramatically read them to you😤😤✌🏽

He would always greet you with the most over the top nicknames like “Good morning cariad!” or “Sit there and act pretty, my beloved”

hi mr lee please make me your sugar baby

Gwilym is your sugar daddy but also your sweet, book loving man

He loves seeing you happy so in return, you make him happy💓💓

Joe Mazzello-

This one is a wildcard ladies and gays!! 😌😌

Joe definitely does not strike you as a sugar daddy

He seems more like your boyfriend than anything else

The two of you were inseparable

After dinner Joe would take you to a karaoke bar or for ice cream

After the first date you started calling him Joey

Drunken duets to cheesy 80’s romance songs

The two of you would sing your hearts out before vomiting from the copious ammouts of ice cream and vodka

With Joe it’s eithier mcdonalds or Nobu in TriBeCa

Mr.Mazello has range😌✨

This dude is the ceo of cheesy nicknames

”Yes my little lover muffin!”

”What is it cutie patootie?”

”You look amazing buttercup!”

“What’s up, hot stuff?”

In public he calls you “baby” or “lover” dw he saves you from public embarrassment 

You know that meme of will smith and his wife? That is basically you and Joe

My love for his man is infinite

Joe is super clingy

Hand holding and lots of PDA

He wants people to know that your his sugar baby😤😤💓

he will always send texts like

”miss you baby💓💗💓💗!”

”can you grab milk from the store pls??”

”SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA WHERE ARE YOU😩😩🤯🤯🤯”

”Joe, it’s been a day.”

He has so many photos of you in his camera roll

You are his lockscreen😔💓

The ceo’s of amazing instagram photos, whether it be you wearing a burger king crown at Burger King or You guys kissing on a boat with the Italian sunset on a private boat

Captions would be could “my favorite fairytale is our love story” or “yasss queen slay it!”

It’s cringey but god Joe is so adorable

A combination of a child and gentleman ALL IN ONE

All of his friends are like “you guys HAVE to be dating!’

It’s suppose to be nothing more than an arrangement right?

I mean the two of you were living with eachother and he dropped all of this other sugar babies for you

The two of you are master chefs minus the one time Joe burned mac and cheese and set the stove on fire

Also not to get smutty but the sex between you two? Like

Straight up RAMMING to sweet pillowtalk

Anyways Joe being your sugar daddy would definitely not be a bad thing at all😘

Always exchange those “I love you’s” 💕✨

Ben Hardy-

When first seeing Ben on your sugar daddy app, you were 100% intimidated

But upon meeting him, this tough dude was a PUPPY🥺❣️

On the first date he bought you flowers and gave you a hug

“Y/n, right?”

“That’s me!”

“I just wanted to say you look stunning, love.”

You were wearing jeans and literally smiled so much

You know this date was going to go VERY WELL NOW😩✌🏽✨

Instead of a fancy restaurant, Ben took you to a stroll around London

Whatever clothes you wanted? He got it

Whatever cafe you wanted to stop at? Buy all the tea/coffee and pastries you want

Hotel? Trivago

The two of you walked around the city, hand and hand as you got to know eachother

You ended up walking around the city for five hours up until midnight

You laughed and talked about thousands of things

In confusion, you had to see Ben again

As Ben walked you back to your place, you smiled at him,

”I’d like to do that again.”

”Call me when you want, y/n.”

So your “dates” became more frequent

Ben had the best ideas for dates

Dinners at small Italian places, walking around a museum, or just sitting in his place and watching mindless television

He made sure to spoil you

With gifts, literally and figurreitly

Sex was a large piece in your arrangeemnt

But it was not the only thing in your relationship

And it was!! Amazing!!

”You’re so fucking beautiful” as he would kiss your forehead and dive straight into it 🥺😳

Not only could that man be A BEAST but an absolute sweetheart

Everyday you looked forward to not only getting paid by him, but just talking to him for hours on end

He would stay up for hours just to talk to you, whether it be about your lives or anything

and that ladies and gays is a dedicated MAN

No matter what, Ben always found a way to touch you

He always had his hand on the chair behind you or your thigh

You guys would have pillowforts and nerf fun battles together

It would always end with a cuddle session

Frankie would be skeptcial but love you!!

You guys got so close that he took you on a trip to the greek islands AND PROPOSED!! LIKE!! YES!!😌😌😌

LIKE YES POP OFF MISTER BEN HARDY

[saintminseok]

The writers just killed me

“Let’s meet again. Hyung.”

[kateknowsdramas]

Worst KDramas of 2020

We can all agree that 2020 has been a dumpster fire, but we’ve been given several super amazing dramas (Hospital Playlist FTW) that have made my all time favorites list. However, we’ve also been given some colossally bad dramas this year. The list below are shows I watched that range from “Eh, I didn’t want to gouge my eyes out while watching” to “The people who green list this trash deserve to rot.”

Without further ado...my worst dramas of 2020:

7. The King: The Eternal Monarch

TKEM definitely wasn’t the worst drama of the year but, man, it was the most disappointing. For a show with such a stellar cast and writer, it turned out to be one of the most boring and nonsensical dramas I’ve watched in a long time. I wrote a few posts on why the show didn’t work for me - here and here and here. The only reason I stuck it out was for Woo Do Hwan because his poor back must have hurt carrying this drama. Oh, and I had to support Kim Kyung Nam too. So, really, the reason to watch this drama? See below.

6. When I Was the Most Beautiful

I don’t mind a melo and I don’t mind a makjang melo either. But it needs to be done well. This was not done well. I wanted to watch because Ji Soo in a lead romantic role - the universe smiled upon me! Or so I thought. The show saddles the poor guy with being a high school student falling in love with his teacher and he never gets over it. He pines over her for years even when she marries his brother (who then disappears for years of course). It’s depressing, none of the characters are likeable and there’s no actual romantic payoff. Just everyone being upset, angry and jealous most of the time. No thank you.

[pretend there’s a gif of this show here cause I didn’t bother to gif it and it seems like no one else did either]

5. Was is Love?

This show started out pretty well and then turned into a mess. I started it because I really like Song Ji Hyo but, unfortunately, she does have the acting strength to pull off the complexities of this drama. The misunderstandings, lies and messy plot just made it into a frustrating watch.

4. To All the Guys Who Loved Me/Men are Men

I’m a sucker for past life stories and I was actually pretty excited to see Yoon Hyun Min and Seo Ji Hoon reunite after Mama Fairy and the Woodcutter. I generally not a Hwang Jung Eum fan because she so often goes over the top but she actually impressed me here. It started out well - especially having the female lead be independent. Then it just got weird and messy. The show continued to have Yoon Hyun Min’s character be a creepy stalker who’s lying to her. Seo Ji Hoon’s character is a whiny man-baby. I can’t understand why she would want either of them and, after a point, it was just a slog to watch. 

This was my favorite thing to gif in the show.

3. Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol

You can send me angry asks all you want, gang. This one is bad. And it didn’t start out that way. It started pretty okay (I’m still not a Go Ara fan - she can’t seem to stop looking constipated when she’s trying to convey deep emotion) and I was enjoying the silly fluffiness of the show and supporting my baby Lee Jae Wook. A leading man role, yay! 

And then...the big reveal came. Our hero is a high school senior - a 19 year old high school senior who met our female lead around two years prior when he was probably 16/17. A high school senior who pursued a relationship with an adult woman who he lied to about his age. And it really didn’t get any better from what I saw. Yeah, I dropped it after the reveal. I watched 14-16 just to see what happened. You can read my recap of the last episodes here. The show just didn’t make sense, the writing was all over the place and what could have been a fun and fluffy drama just floundered in nonsense.

But there is an adorable dog who wears cute lil’ doggy clothes.

2. Backstreet Rookie

This show is the one that ripped Ji Chang Wook from my ultimate bias spot. How my dude could choose Melting Me Softly and then this is a crime against humanity. Full disclosure, I only watched the first four episodes and that was enough. I wrote a post about the age gap issue because people were losing their minds about how someone could watch and appreciate Goblin and find fault with it in this show. But that’s only one of the problematic aspects of this drama. A racist character who draws erotic webtoons? No thank you. It’s just not a good show, fam. Not at all. There’s so many things wrong with it. I skimmed through later episodes to see if it got better and - shocker - it didn’t. Even the writer must have figured out it was bad because the OTP didn’t even kiss in the final episode. 

1. Born Again

Look, if you want an insanely bad show that is equal parts infuriating and hilarious, look no further. I wrote a review here and if you want details as to why this show takes the prize for the worst and most BoNKerS drama of the year check out some posts  here ,  here , here, here. Search my blog for it and you’ll find a treasure trove of insanity. 

Let’s have our female lead fall for a dude who stalks her and tries to kill the guy she was engaged to in her past life. Who was also set up as the male lead for the first ten episodes before the writing staff changed. That might explain why it completely veered off course so badly in the second half of the show. I mean, to be honest, it wasn’t exactly a masterpiece to begin with but at least there was an interesting premise if not a heavy handed homage to Wuthering Heights. One of the very, very few shows I rage watched and ended up just shaking my head by the end. It’s a disaster. The worst of 2020 and, possibly, one of the worst Kdramas ever. 

Yep - you read that right. He wants to be the heart in her chest. Oh, how I wish that had happened.

As always, thanks for reading my opinionated discourse. 

[letterboxd]

Best of SXSW 2021.

From properly good Covid comedies to an epic folk-horror doc and an Indigenous feminist Western, the Letterboxd Festiville team reveals their ten best of SXSW Online.

We dug out old lanyards to wear around the house, and imagined ourselves queuing up the block from The Ritz (RIP). We dialled into screenings and panels, and did our level best to channel that manic “South By” energy from our living rooms.

The SXSW festival atmosphere was muted, and that’s to be expected. But the films themselves? Gems, so many gems, whether shot in a fortnight on the smell of an oily stimulus check, or painstakingly rotoscoped over seven years.

When we asked SXSW Film director Janet Pierson what she and her team were looking for this year, she told us: “We’re always looking for films that do a lot with little, that are ingenious, and pure talent, and discovery, and being surprised. We’re just looking for really good stories with good emotional resonance.” If there was one common denominator we noticed across this year’s SXSW picks, it was a smart, tender injection of comedy into stories about trauma, grief, unwanted pregnancy, chronic health conditions, homelessness, homophobia and, yes, Covid.

It’s hard to pick favorites, but here are the ten SXSW features and two short films we haven’t stopped thinking about, in no particular order.

Recovery Directed by Mallory Everton and Stephen Meek, written by Everton and Whitney Call

“Covid 19 is in charge now” might be the most hauntingly funny line in a SXSW film. In Recovery, two sisters set out on a haywire road trip to rescue their grandmother from her nursing home in the wake of a severe Covid 19 outbreak. There’s no random villain or threat, because isn’t being forced to exist during a pandemic enough of a threat in itself? If ever we were worried about “Covid comedies”, SXSW managed to flush out the good ones. (Read about the Festiville team’s other favorite Covid-inflected comedies, including an interview with the directors of I’m Fine (Thanks for Asking).)

Alex Marzona praises the “off-the-charts chemistry” between leads Mallory Everton and Whitney Call. Best friends since they were nine, the pair also wrote the film, with Everton co-directing with Stephen Meek. Every laugh comes from your gut and feels like something only the cast and crew would usually be privy to. “You can tell a lot of the content is improvised, which just attests to their talent,” writes Emma. Recovery doesn’t make you laugh awkwardly about how awful the last year has been—rather, it reminds you that even in such times there are still laughs to be had, trips to be taken, family worth uprooting everything for. Just make sure you’ve packed enough wet wipes for the road, and think long and hard about who should babysit your mice. —EK

The Spine of Night Written and directed by Morgan Galen King and Philip Gelatt

Don’t get too attached to any characters from its star-studded cast—nobody is safe (or fully-clothed) in The Spine of Night’s raw, ultra-violent and cynical world. Conjured over the last seven years, directors Philip Gelatt and Morgan Galen King’s rotoscoped epic recaptures the dazzling imagination and scope of their influences Ralph Bakshi and Heavy Metal. Approaching an anthology-style structure to explore how ‘absolute power corrupts absolutely’—a proverb more potent now than when Gelatt and King began their project—the film packs a franchise’s worth of ideas in its 90-minute runtime. Though the storytelling justifiably proves itself overly dense for some, it will find the audience it’s after, as other Letterboxd members have declared it “a rare treat” and “a breath of fresh air in the feature-length animation scene”. For sure, The Spine of Night can join Sundance premieres Flee and Cryptozoo in what’s already a compelling year for unique two-dimensional animation. —JM

Kambole Campbell caught up with Gelatt and King (who are also Letterboxd members!) during SXSW to talk about animation inspirations and rotoscoping techniques.

The Drover’s Wife: The Legend of Molly Johnson Written and directed by Leah Purcell

Snakes, steers and scoundrels beware! Writer-director-star Leah Purcell ably repurposes the Western genre for Aboriginal and female voices in The Drover’s Wife. Molly Johnson is a crack-shot anti-heroine for the ages, in this decolonized reimagining of a classic 1892 short story by Henry Lawson. And by reimagining, we mean a seismic shift in the narrative: Purcell has fleshed out a full story of a mother-of-four, pregnant with her fifth, a missing husband, predatory neighbors, a mysterious runaway and a young English couple on different paths to progress in this remote Southern land. Purcell first adapted this story for the stage, then as published fiction; she rightly takes the leading role in the screen version, too.

As a debut feature director, Purcell (Goa-Gunggari-Wakka Wakka Murri) already has a firm grip on the macabre and the menacing, not shying away from violence, but making very careful decisions about what needs to be depicted, given all that Molly Johnson and her family are subjected to. She also sneaks in mystic touches, and a hint of romance (local heartthrob Rob Collins can take us on a walk to where the Snowy widens to see blooming wildflowers anytime). Judging by early Letterboxd reviews, it’s not for everyone, but this is Australian colonization through an Indigenous feminist’s eyes, with a fierce, intersectional pay-off. “Extremely similar to a vast majority of the issues and themes explored in The Nightingale,” writes Claira. “I’m slowly realizing that my favorite type of Westerns are Australian.” —LK, GG

Swan Song Written and directed by Todd Stephens

Udo Kier is often the bridesmaid, rarely the bride. Now, after a lifetime of supporting roles ranging from vampires and villains to art-house muse, he finally gets to shine center-stage in Swan Song. Kier dazzles as a coiffure soothsayer in this lyrical pageant to the passage of queer times in backwater Sandusky, Ohio. “He is absolutely wonderful here,” writes Adrianna, “digging deep and pulling out a mesmerizing, deeply affecting and emotionally textured performance, proving that he’s an actor with much more range than people give him credit for.”

A strong supporting cast all have melancholy moments to shine, with Linda Evans (Dynasty), Michael Urie (Ugly Betty) and Jennifer Coolidge (Legally Blonde) along for the stroll. Surreal camp touches add joy (that chandelier, the needle drop!) but by the end, the tears roll (both of joy and sadness). Writer-director Todd Stephens ties up his Sandusky trilogy in this hometown homage, a career peak for both him and Kier. Robert Daniels puts it well, writing that Swan Song is “campy as hell, but it’s also a heartfelt LGBTQ story about lost lovers and friends, vibrant memories and the final passage of a colorful life.” —LK

Leo Koziol spoke with Todd Stephens and Udo Kier during SXSW about Grace Jones, David Bowie and dancing with yourself.

Islands Written and directed by Martin Edralin

Islands is a Mike Leigh-esque story that presents a Canadian Filipino immigrant family full of quirk and character, centered around Joshua, a reticent 50-year-old homebody son. The story drifts in and out of a deep well of sadness. Moments of lightness and familial love make the journey worthwhile. “A film so Filipino a main plot device is line-dancing,” writes Karl. “Islands is an incredibly empathetic film about what it’s like to feel unmoored from comfort. It’s distinctly Filipino and deals with the psychology of Asian culture in a way that feels both profound and oddly comforting.” In a year in which we’ve all been forced to physically slow down, Islands “shows us how slow life can be,” writes Justin, “and how important it is to be okay with that.” Rogelio Balagtas’s performance as Joshua—a first-time leading role—won him the SXSW Grand Jury Award for Breakthrough Performance. —LK

Ninjababy Directed by Yngvild Sve Flikke, written by Flikke with Johan Fasting and Inga H. Sætre

Ninjababy is as ridiculous as its title. When 23-year-old Rakel finds herself accidentally pregnant, scheduling an abortion is a no-brainer. But she’s way too far along, she’s informed, so she’s going to have to have the baby. The ensuing meltdown might have been heartbreaking if the film wasn’t so damn funny. Ninjababy draws on the comforting and familiar (“Lizzie McGuire if she was a pregnant young adult,” writes Nick), while mixing shock with originality (Erica Richards notices “a few aggressive and vulgar moments [but] somehow none of it seemed misplaced”).

An animated fetus in the style of Rakel’s own drawings appears to beg and shame Rakel into motherhood while she fights to hold onto her confidence that not wanting to be a mother doesn’t make her a bad person. Ninjababy’s greatest feat is its willingness to delve into that complication: yes, it’s righteous and feminist and 21st-century to claim your own body and life, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to turn away from something growing inside of you. It’s a comedy about shame, art, finding care in unlikely places—and there’s something in it for the gents, too. The titular ninjababy wouldn’t leave Rakel alone, and it’s unlikely to leave you either. Winner of the SXSW Global Audience Award. —SH

The Fallout Written and directed by Megan Park

Canadian actress Megan Park brought the youthful wisdom of her days on the teen drama series The Secret Life of the American Teenager to her first project behind the camera, and it paid off. Following the scattered after-effects of a school shooting, The Fallout may be the most acute, empathetic depiction of childhood trauma on screen in recent memory. “It sneaks up on you with its honesty and how it spends time with its lead, carried so beautifully by Jenna Ortega. Even the more conventional moments are poignant because of context,” writes Kevin L. Lee. Much of that “sneaky” honesty emerges as humor—despite the heavy premise, moments of hilarity hang on the edges of almost every scene. And Ortega’s portrayal of sweet-but-angsty Vada brings self-awareness to that humor, like when Vada’s avoidant, inappropriate jokes with her therapist reveal her desperation, but they garner genuine laughs nonetheless.

In this debut, Park shows an unmatched understanding of non-linear ways that young people process their pain. Sometimes kids try drugs! Sometimes they scream at their parents! But more often than not, they really do know what they want, who loves them, and how much time they need to grieve (see also: Jessie Barr’s Sophie Jones, starring her cousin Jessica Barr, out now on VOD and in theaters). The Fallout forsakes melodrama to embrace confusion, ambiguity and joy. Winner of both the SXSW Grand Jury and Audience Narrative Feature Awards, and the Brightcove Illumination Award. —SH

Ludi Directed by Edson Jean, written by Jean and Joshua Jean-Baptiste

When Ludi begins, it’s quiet and dreamy. The film’s opening moments conjure the simple pleasures of the titular character’s Haitian heritage: the music, the colors, the people. Ludi (Shein Monpremier) smiles to herself as she starts her morning with a tape recording her cousin mailed from Haiti to Miami, and listens as her family members laugh through their troubles before recording an upbeat tape of her own. But that’s where the dreaminess ends—Ludi is an overworked, underpaid nurse picking up every shift she possibly can in order to send money home. Writer-director Edson Jean fixates on the pains and consequences of Ludi’s relentless determination, which comes to a head when she moonlights as a private nurse for an old man who doesn’t want her there.

Ashton Kinley notes how the film “doesn’t overly dramatize or pull at false emotional strings to make its weight felt. The second half of the feature really allows all of that to shine, as the film becomes a tender and empathetic two-hander.” George’s (Alan Myles Heyman) resentment of his own aging body steps in as Ludi’s antagonist. Jean throws together jarring contrasts: George throwing Ludi out of the bathroom, followed by Ludi’s memories of home, followed by another lashing out, followed by a shared prayer. The tension is unsustainable. By interspersing the back-breaking predicament of a working-class immigrant with the sights and sounds of the Caribbean, Ludi elegantly, painfully reveals what the cost of a dream can be. —SH

Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror Written and directed by Kier-La Janisse

Building on the folk horror resurgence of films like The Witch and Midsommar, Kier-La Janisse’s 193-minute documentary Woodlands Dark and Days Bewitched is a colossal, staggering undertaking that should school even the most seasoned of horror buffs. “Thorough is an understatement,” says Claira.

Combining a historian’s studied, holistic patience with a cinephile’s rabid, insatiable thirst, the film, through the course of six chapters, broadens textbook British definitions, draws trenchant socio-political and thematic connections, debunks myths and transports viewers to far-flung parts of the globe in a way that almost feels anthropological. As Jordan writes, “Three hours later and my mind is racing between philosophical questions about the state of hauntology we generationally entrap ourselves in, wanting to buy every single one of the 100+ films referenced here, and being just a bit in awe of Janisse’s truly breathless work.” An encyclopedic forest worth losing yourself in—get ready for those watchlists to balloon. Winner of the SXSW Midnighters Audience Award. —AY

Introducing, Selma Blair Directed by Rachel Fleit

There’ll likely be some level of hype when this intimate collaboration between actress Selma Blair and filmmaker Rachel Fleit comes out later in the year on Discovery+, and that’s okay, because that is Blair’s intention in sharing the details of her stem-cell transplant for multiple sclerosis. There’d be little point in going there if you are not prepared to really go there, and Introducing, Selma Blair is a tics-and-all journey not just into what life is like with a chronic condition, a young son, and a career that relies on one’s ability to keep a straight face. It’s also an examination of the scar tissue of childhood, the things we are told by our parents, the ideas we come to believe about ourselves. “I almost felt like I shouldn’t have such intimate access to some of the footage in this documentary,” writes Andy Yen. “Bravo to Selma for allowing the filmmakers to show some truly raw and soul-bearing videos about her battle with multiple sclerosis that make us feel as if we are as close to her as family.” —GG

Femme Directed by Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping

I May Destroy You fans, rejoice: Paapa Essiedu, who played Arabella’s fascinating best friend Kwame, takes center stage in Sam H. Freeman and Ng Choon Ping’s intoxicating short film Femme. It’s a simple premise—Jordan, a femme gay man, follows his drug dealer (Harris Dickinson, mastering the sexually repressed brusque young man like no one else) home to pick up some goods on a night out. Except, of course, it’s not that simple. The co-directors build a world of danger, tension and electricity, with lusciously lensed scenes that lose focus as the threat rises. Frankie calls it “hypnotizing and brutal and gorgeous” and we couldn’t agree more. A crime thriller wrestling with hyper-masculinity seen through the eyes of an LGBTQ+ character, with a sucker-punch ending to boot, the world needs more than twenty minutes of this story. —EK

Play It Safe Directed by Mitch Kalisa

If you (unwisely) thought that the vulnerable, progressive environment of drama school would be a safe space for Black students, Play It Safe confirms that even a liberal bunch of actors (and their teacher) are capable of being blind to their own egregiously racist microagressions. Mitch Kalisa’s excellent short film explores structural prejudice head-on, in an electric acting exercise that rests on where the kinetic, gritty 16mm camera is pointing at every pivotal turn. At first, we’re with Black drama student Jonathan Ajayi as he receives the assignment; then we are with the rest of the class, exactly where we need to be. “Literally in your face and absolutely breathtaking,” writes Nia. A deserving winner of the SXSW Grand Jury and Audience narrative shorts prizes. —GG

Follow the Festiville team on Letterboxd