#lds LGBT

[lizardho]

I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.

By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.

At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.

I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).

I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.

I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).

I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)

I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.

I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.

A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.

After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.

I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.

On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.

Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕

[rincolonthree]

LEMON DEMON ACE RIGHTS LET'S GOOOOOO XD

[the-rockinahard-place]

I hope the people in our little tumblrstake we have on here know just how much their words have helped me. Just seeing queer mormons is such a privilege. You’ve brought me a lot of guidance in this past year and you have strengthened my testimony to great heights. It is so simple what you do on here, yet so powerful. It has changed my life, and probably my future too. If church leadership was as progressive, accepting, and informational as tumblrstake then the church wouldn’t be viewed as it is today.

I told my classmate today that I was going to mormon prom, which led her to ask me if I was mormon. When I told her I was, her jaw literally dropped. It was obvious that she couldn’t imagine someone like me ( queer af ) being in the church. She has a small perspective of who I am, and a small perspective of what the church is. Unfortunately, they were far too different things in her head, to be seen mixed together. It hurt realizing that some people see the church that way, as this bad thing. I’ve been so fortunate to have a mostly accepting ward and a special place in queerstake, that I’ve forgotten our reputation and our dark history and our not very accepting “brothers and sisters” that when I say I’m mormon to someone, they react like I just came out to them.

know that our LDS blogs in our tiny corner of tumblr proves to be more than just a small community. It is a life line keeping me holding on to that iron rod and I’m sure so many others aswell. I thank everyone for all that you’ve done here. You represent the real church of jesus christ of latter day saints.

[loveerran]

What does 'Sensitivity, kindness, compassion and Christlike love' feel like?

A new church policy affecting transgender members of the LDS church has recently been implemented. This new Policy of Exclusion severely restricts or eliminates baptism (38.2.8.9), fellowship and opportunities for service for transgender members - including transgender children. Insofar as I am able to tell, it treats transgender members, who have transitioned in any way, worse than convicted child molester members (treatment of convicted child abusers who are members, including child sexual abuse, in 38.6.2.5 vs. guidance for church participation of transgender members, including transgender children).

If the default setting for a transgender member, including a transgender child, is to be treated by their congregation more severely than a convicted adult sexual predator of children, can you see why some of us are having difficulty feeling the church's stated 'sensitivity, kindness, compassion and Christlike love' for us? Why we may feel we are not part of 'All are welcome'?

[thecrowscandle]

I feel like when a lot of people talk about “worldly things” or being “in the world, not of the world” misunderstand what “the world” is. The world isn’t all the horrible people who don’t live the way church members do or “attacking the family”, which is usually a sugarcoated way of bashing on people who are different. The world is the influence of darkness, hate, pride, envy, selfishness, greed, etc., the things that are antithetical to who God is and who we are to become. All people are prone to be susceptible to those impulses, but we can change and improve because we are of divine substance. The people aren’t the problem with the world, it’s what the world does to people. And I think that a lot of rhetoric in the church is directed at people or groups when in reality it’s what people are subject to that needs attention

[koreofmagdela]

it’s mormoncon this weekend what’s everyone’s go to general conference food?

personally i gotta go with cinnamon rolls

[silly-goobr]

It is imperative I don’t become poly in the future WAITWAIT DONT LEAVE

it’s not because poly people are weird (they’re awesome and chill) but I was raised mormon so I don’t want multiple wives because then I would be giving into the stereotype

[brothermouse]

Sunday doodles 6/2/25 Fast Sunday

And, because I like tumblr better than any of my other socials, a Pride month bonus doodle:

[palatteflags]

Zoey from Lego Dreamzzz based Aroace moodboard! ^^ For @this-slide-of-paradise :) Hope you enjoy!!

Want one? Send an ask!! -mod Jay

[surrealsubversivo]

Você me perguntou qual era a palavra mais bonita da língua portuguesa…

E eu? Disse o seu nome!

[Tudo isso para lhe explicar, que, às vezes, as palavras não são apenas bonitas pelo som e pela maneira como são escritas, mas, sim, pelo o que elas representam]

[kimsiever]

I’ve been seeing quite a few examples lately of openly queer people who are choosing to be out and actively participating in the LDS Church, including gay couples.

I’ve seen this on Tumblr, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, and on several podcasts.

I think this is a good thing.

For too long, leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints were able to conflate their personal homophonic politics with church doctrine. They benefited from the silence (as well as the departure) of queer members.

Plus, as queer members remained in the closet, it perpetuated the common perception that queer members were alone, that there was no one else like them in their ward or stake.

But with queer members being open and participating, it forces church leaders (and even members) to no longer ignore us, to even make space for us.

Of course, not everyone will be able to remain in a church that has inflicted so much trauma and pain onto them, but I’m encouraged by what I’m seeing from those who do.

It’s one of the reasons I chose to come out at church.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Erin Alberty at Axios Salt Lake City:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has broadened its restrictions on transgender members and banned them from congregational roles that involve children. Why it matters: The change is one of many new policies announced this week that single out transgender members for restricted participation and inferior status in Utah's dominant religion. Driving the news: Members who "pursue surgical, medical, or social transition away from their biological sex at birth" are banned from the faith's temples and may only be baptized with special permission from the "First Presidency" — the top three leaders in the global faith.

The church's manuals now forbid transgender members from "[working] with children or youth" — similar to restrictions on members with a history of child abuse.

They face possible "annotation" on their membership records — a flag usually reserved for members with a history of sexual misconduct, violence and fraud — to be shared with local leaders.

They also may not serve as teachers or in gender-specific roles, or hold the church's all-male priesthood — a status conferred to men in good standing as well as boys as young as 11.

Catch up quick: Some of the restrictions on transgender membership previously existed, but baptism was explicitly withheld only for members who sought medical interventions in their transition. The intrigue: Now all restrictions are also imposed for "social transition," which the church defines as "intentionally identifying and presenting oneself as other than one's biological sex at birth, and may include changing dress, grooming, names, or pronouns."

It's unclear how that applies to nonbinary members or anyone whose dress or grooming doesn't conform to traditional gender norms. The church did not immediately respond to Axios' request for comment.

The Mormon Church imposed tougher restrictions on trans members of the church, such as banning them from volunteering from roles involving children or youth, banning those who undergo physical, medical, or social transition from their temples and can only be baptized with special permission, and trans youth are barred from overnight camps.

[hurlinkandwit]

I published a poetry chapbook about dealing with religious trauma and compulsory heterosexuality last year, and I dedicated it to my fiancée who I get to marry later this year. Here’s the dedication:

My fiancée is still a part of the religion we both grew up in while I am not. Despite our differing spiritual beliefs, we love and respect each other. She is the Aziraphale to my Crowley and I am so grateful for her support and love while I worked on this project.

Thank you to Terry Pratchett and @neil-gaiman for creating such a wonderful story—with complex, relatable characters—that helped me work through some of the negative experiences I had with religion. ❤️

P.S. The chapbook I wrote is called Religious Trauma in the Key of Poetry and it is available from Bottlecap Press if anyone is interested in checking it out. 😊✨

[the-rockinahard-place]

I don’t see a lot of spaces that covers the difficulties of being a closeted trans person in the LDS church especially ones specific to trans men. so hopefully that is something I can create here.

[loveerran]

LDS Doctrine, 8yr-old Transgender Children and Policy

One of the most shocking things about the new LDS policies for transgender children, is the policy that appears to deny or severely restrict their access to baptism. I discussed that briefly here (last year and recently). This post looks more at the doctrinal side of the question.

LDS doctrine has been amazingly clear and consistent on the treatment of little children prior to the age of accountability (defined as 8yrs-old in Doctrine & Covenants 68) from the very early days of the church. I honestly feel this issue has some nuance, but the church has been absolutely unwavering in stating the tenet that children under the age of 8 cannot sin, or even if they can their sin is swallowed up in the atonement of Christ automatically.

I might personally believe that accountability for actions is a continuum based on the light and law an individual has received (2 Nephi 9:25-6, Luke 12:47-9, Romans 4:15, 5:13, DC 137:7 – a continuum applying to all individuals, regardless of age). However, LDS doctrine and statements are emphatic in declaring the complete innocence of little children, and that the atonement covers them completely until the child is 8 years old:

Moroni 8:8,11-2,14,19 (verses 20+ are much harsher) “...wherefore little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin… their little children need no repentance… little children are alive in Christ, from the foundation of the world… little children cannot repent; wherefore it is awful wickedness to deny the pure mercies of God unto them…”

DC 20:71 “No one can be received into the church of Christ unless he has arrived at the years of accountability before God, and is capable of repentance”

DC 68:27 “And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands”

DC 74:7 “But little children are holy, being sanctified through the atonement of Christ; and this is what the scriptures mean”

See also Mosiah 3:16, Mosiah 15:25, DC 29:46-7, DC 137:10, JST Genesis 17:3-11, etc.

Taken together, little children are whole and clean through Jesus Christ until they arrive at the years of accountability and are capable of repentance. And that age is 8 years old. Church leaders have repeatedly restated this:

Dallin H Oaks: “We understand from our doctrine that before the age of accountability a child is ‘not capable of committing sin’” (Dallin H. Oaks, “Sins and Mistakes,” Ensign, Oct. 1996, 65)

Bruce R. McConkie “There comes a time, however, when accountability is real and actual and sin is attributed in the lives of those who develop normally. It is eight years of age, the age of baptism.” (Bruce R. McConkie, “The Salvation of Little Children,” Ensign, Apr. 1977, 6)

And we can even see this in the policies laid out in the current General Handbook of Instructions:

31.2.3.1: Children who are Members of Record

(note: children of record are children whose names are on the rolls of the church prior to baptism at age 8)

"In the interview, the bishopric member ensures that the child understands the purposes of baptism (see 2 Nephi 31:5–20). He also ensures that the child understands the baptismal covenant and is committed to live by it (see Mosiah 18:8–10). He does not need to use a specified list of questions. This is not an interview to determine worthiness, since 'little children need no repentance' (Moroni 8:11)."

(bold emphasis mine)

But for the first time in our history, we have an exception to this rule, and it applies only if the child is transgender. Instead of a meaningful interview with the local bishop or one of his counselors about following Jesus, a transgender child (and only a transgender child) who dresses differently or uses a different name and pronouns must have a worthiness interview with the regional Stake President directly. There is no other ‘sin’ that calls for this, even when little children have somehow perpetrated horrible crimes. If the Stake President finds the child worthy (is this even possible under the new guidelines??), he recommends the child for baptism to the First Presidency. The First Presidency is the highest council/court in the church, from which there is no appeal. The First Presidency then chooses whether or not to permit the child to be baptized. This new policy is spelled out in the Handbook:

38.2.8.9: Individuals Who Identify as Transgender

"Any exception to this policy requires the approval of the First Presidency. To request approval, the mission president, or the stake president for an eight-year-old, interviews the person. If he finds the person to be worthy and if he recommends baptism and confirmation, he submits a request for approval to the First Presidency using LCR."

(bold emphasis mine)

In the past, the church has denied baptism to the children of polygamists and to the children of gays (possibly others). In those cases, it could always be said the child’s parents were at fault, not the child themselves. This new policy is a marked departure from that and, in my opinion, is inconsistent with the church’s doctrine. I hope to see this policy adjusted as other policies have been when they do not align well with our core values and doctrines.

Love,

Erran

[growingupmormon]

I just read Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White and I’m having a lot of feelings about growing up AFAB and trans in an oppressive religion/cult. It’s tagged as horror and it is but a lot of it felt too familiar, another person I know read it around the same time and she was scared and now I’m more concerned that I wasn’t scared, I felt seen