#lazy val

[unbloodiedmartyr]

the healthiest most well-rounded couple you know has nothing on these guys

[kaijuyuri]

a compilation of the touhou horsies ive made on ponytown

[bluemilkandcookies]

Khem is ready, are you?

[decoloraa]

Literally no one is surprised, Ed

[alangdorf]

Welp, the ref lineup still isn’t done cause I haven’t drawn Shion yet, and the belated valentines I’ve been working on are gonna be like at least a month late cause I just planned three more, but what I did do these past couple weeks is start writing a fanfic and then immediately abandon it to go draw a bunch of only tangentially-related suzutsubas (except for that first pic; that’s a scene from it, albeit one I haven’t written yet), only half of which are fit for public posting (one of ‘em I could make a few edits and feel ok about posting sometime; it’s not that out there, it’s just, y’know. Hamal Cine Bad End Hyperbolic Torture Chamber. I’m usually very “whatever happens happens” about my art but if I don’t show some restraint I know I’ll end up stuck in there forever), but hey, since I’ve been teasing them for ages and finally have some finished stuff with them, take a couple Suzumii! Also gonna ramble abt headcanons under the cut (and it will be LONG)

To begin, a note abt my Len’en gender/pronoun headcanons: as a they/them preferrer myself, I’m thrilled that most people just stick with those for everyone, but I’ve developed some more detailed headcanons as I go through working on designs and I’ll generally be using those. Don’t worry though, most of them are still nonbinary and basically all of them are trans/gq. Relevant ones for this post are Tsubakura: they/them nonbinary (transmasc to some degree) and Suzumi: cis female, question mark?? (to be elaborated on); for clarity’s sake I usually use she/her for Arde and Hamal Cine individually and plural they for the system collectively (also I don’t usually use their nicknames, dunno why), but singular they for Benet (the wiki says Benny is probably short for Benetnasch so I’m assuming that’s their actual name) for reasons which will also be elaborated on (sort of).

Aaalso this clearly isn’t autobiographical or anything but I think I’m subconsciously putting a lot of myself into Suzumi because 1) we do look pretty similar (brown wavy bob + blue eyes) and 2) given their current status as both the main antagonist and the most well-known plural Len’en character (I get the impression that Hooaka also being plural isn’t super common knowledge; I mean it took me several read-throughs of their wiki page and their dialogue with BPoHC Secret Team to get what they were getting at lol) I am probably way too anxious about doing a bad stereotype. Just an observation and also probably partially why I’ve even ended up with so much headcanon for them in the first place

And before I get into the thick of it, notes on derivations from canon: I’m running with the assumption that Suzumi being a system is a relatively recent development tied to whatever incident it was that caused the falling-out, since Tsubakura is like the only person who seems at all familiar with Hamal (including Mitori/Chouki/Fumikado, but they’re more easily explained away as just having met with one of the other alters the few times they’ve interacted) even though she’s supposedly usually the one fronting. They don’t seem to know the mechanics of it though, judging by their confusion when Arde implied that she and Hamal are different people. So basically, I’ll be referring to pre-incident Suzumi as a different character from any of the other three. (Ngl I am very influenced by Dissociation Constant on that and just in general [when will my wife The One and Only Suzutsuba Fic return from the war…..]) I was also debating whether to have Suzumi have any history with the gang before starting to work at the lab/whether stuff would happen around high school or college age, cause they keep referring to everything happening “a long time ago” and I know I, a 24-year-old, feel like stuff that happened five years ago was like yesterday, but I do have the pandemic and not really doing much of anything for most of that time to reckon with so like, eh. College age makes more sense in my head and so does the dynamic of like, Suzumi was only introduced into the friend group (she was acquainted w Hoojiro and Yabu already though bc lab) because she was dating Tsubakura and since that ended, and badly (understatement of the century), they have extremely little reason to be civil with each other and also interacting at all is really awkward.

Ok now on with it! Either end of high school or beginning of college, Suzumi ends up interning at Tsubakura’s lab for college credit (Tsuba’s already practically a department head despite being like 17 or something because. Idk. Who even knows what’s up with them) and she’s like. Only wears t-shirts and jeans (bought a bunch of khakis for this job though), [reading] glasses from the men’s section, hates leaving her hair down (it’s lab safety anyways). Repressed queer in denial, you know the type. Starts interacting a lot with Mx. Tsubakura “wears short shorts that everybody thinks are actually a skirt and also uses ore and omae almost exclusively” Enraku who seems to have everything all figured out and is immediately starstruck (GIRL WHY?? they are such a mess). Lots of “do I want to date them or do I want to be them” confusion (this will be relevant later); eventually evolves into the “am I trans or just a lesbian” question (not that they would need to be attracted to women to be into Tsubakura but you get the picture), which never quite gets answered.

In any case, they do eventually start dating (Tsubakura thinks she’s cute and smart so they reciprocate), and they’re not like super great together cause Tsubakura is emotionally constipated at the best of times (Suzumi’s into that though) and neither of them are the most mentally/emotionally healthy people even back then and also Tsubakura is more or less Suzumi’s boss which is weird, but they’re kind of ok??? Tsubakura’s mom dies at some point, also they move in together (college housing is expensive), the rest of the crew at the very least tolerate Suzumi, etcetera.

And then…! [insert catastrophic event here]!! I don’t have a shot to call on this yet cause I have no idea what it could’ve been (and I’m sure it’ll get revealed at some point anyways); I’m just banking on it being something extremely not mundane and something where you could reasonably set the blame on either (or neither) party cause they sure both seem convinced the other is way worse, huh! In Tsubakura’s case at least, blaming Suzumi is partially a defense mechanism so their self-loathing doesn’t get the better of them over it (guess what the fic was supposed to be about, lol).

The worst part of all this business though is that they DON’T break up over it immediately and it just makes everything orders of magnitude worse for everyone involved. Tsubakura and Arde have hate sex MORE THAN ONCE………… they would both really rather forget about it. Hamal thinks it’s hilarious, ofc, but the less said about her, the better. And Benet… exists??? The only idea that I’m running off of for them atm is the observation that I think they’re the only character with flat black eyes other than Tsubakura/Tsurubami and the subsequent idle thought, “hey if someone malded so hard about a breakup that they ended up with an introject of their ex would that be messed up or what?” So make of that what you will. (Oh and it may have been obvious that this is what I was going for but Hamal is femme and Arde is butch and they’re constantly squabbling abt aesthetic presentation. Having Arde be straight-up male would’ve been too straightforward of an interpretation and I think it’s funnier this way)

The canonically mentioned murder attempts start taking place and I’m leaning towards Tsubakura eventually being convinced to move out even though it was originally their apartment, albeit mostly just because the wikipedia page for house sparrows mentions that they’re known to take over swallows’ nests, usually after they’ve been abandoned, but they will sometimes drive away or kill the current occupants, and that was a very fun fact to come across when specifically doing research for Len’en but idk how else to incorporate it lol. And so on and so forth up until the present time.

Uhhh is that all I have atm? I think so! Anyway, I think I finally shook out all my suzutsuba doodles (and rambling, though I do still have that fic to work on. idk whether I’ll be able to finish it though; I started strong with an extended metaphor in the middle but Iiiii’m not sure if I can successfully write my way up to it while making it make sense. Also I may draw pretty slow but I write even slower!! Eh I’m sure I’ll post some of it sometime) for the time being so I should theoretically be able to finish up my bigger projects now. Maybe I’ll have the valentines ready in time for white day? We’ll see!

[wannabecrypt-id]

including this bc i thot it looked cool

[charmedpruehalliwell]

WHAT I LIKE ABOUT YOU (2002 - 2006) | 3.06 three little words

[maelwyth]

He farted in it.

[juststayquiete]

MY 2024/2.1 V <33333

[bluemilkandcookies]

Khem, my love 🥰

[1am-yan]

ocs in the sims :> they're silly to me /pos

[heretyc]

Outlast Characters and a variant S/O

"I don't want to go among mad people!"

"Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad, here. You may have noticed...that I'm not all there myself..." - The Cheshire Cat

Synopsis: You're a variant who escaped from Murkoff amongst the chaos and the bloodshed. You're more aware of your madness than the others, and you always have a way of escaping danger.

You're essentially like the Cheshire Cat. I totally didn't get inspired after watching Disney's Alice in Wonderland or anything like that...

Again, these can be seen as platonic or romantic. All up to you.

Enjoy!

(❁)----------------------------------------------------------------------

Miles finds you amusing the moment he sees you grinning and making remarks about his missing fingers. Your outfit is stained with blood, yet none of your own, and he can tell you're a tough cookie. You intrigue him.

Waylon is freaked out. He doesn't want to be rude, as you clearly went through hell here, and the last thing you needed was to be told that you were horrifying, but you just... weird him out. Your eyes are unblinking, you hum, your grins are wide and unsettling...he's surprised you haven't shoved a knife in him, yet. He guides you out, but he's cautious.

Blake is reminded of Val, if he's being honest. You both act somewhat alike, even your outfits were somewhat alike; you're wearing a dirty uniform that obviously came from an asylum, and Val wore remains of their cassock. He'd much rather deal with a variant than a cultist, he's sure of that. You're helpful, too. Giving him hints and deciphering the Latin phrases scattered among the town of Temple Gate.

Lynn is reminded of Val, too. You were taken in hours earlier, and you found your way to Lynn after traversing through the tunnels. You looked to her pregnant stomach with a look of knowing and a chilling grin, questioning her if she knew her child was one of delusion and falseness. She was...confused as to what you meant, but you wouldn't continue. Val, however, got a little angry at you for suggesting that their lord was nothing but a simple trick of the mind. You didn't seem to care, however.

Trager is intrigued, as well. You popped up in his little section of the asylum, curious about his work, and he didn't have the ability to shoo you away or steal your tongue. He tried so hard to understand you, and yet he couldn't, to his dismay. You're a hell of a lot more interesting than the priest or his little buddy.

Jeremy is freaked the fuck out and thinks you're trying to get revenge on him. He remembers the day he submitted you, and yet here you are, looking into his eyes with wild hair, blood on your uniform, and an unsettling grin that showed off your teeth. He starts to get used to you once you help him escape from the other variants. You know he'll succumb to the Walrider, anyway. Might as well give him hope...

Eddie is fascinated. He could squash you like a bug, and this is something you tell him, but he doesn't wish to. Much like Trager, he tries to understand you. You're so silent, and whenever he's enraged, you're always...gone. He loves the grin on your face, because he has the same exact one!

Walrider and you are one and the same. You disappear at will and love to mess with the other variants. He doesn't care for you that much.

Frank Manera is...freaked out by you. The scary, cannibalistic variant wielding a saw is scared of a silent yet witty variant with a horrifying grin and a wise gaze. He doesn't even try to eat you. The last time he threatened you with a saw, you just grinned at him, your teeth and eyes the only things apparent in the dark room. He felt vulnerable.

Chris doesn't care whatsoever, and is far too focused on locating the Walrider. However, he does find the grinning variant that roams around the upper floors of the asylum a tad too...strange.

Marta is convinced God sent you as a sign to make her stop her 'righteous' activities. Your eyes shine a menacing white, and so do your teeth, and you're all she sees when roaming the dark fields of Temple Gate. She threatens you with a glare and a wave of her weapon, but by the time she's near where you were last standing, you're gone without a trace. Maybe Val sent you as a spy? Who knows.

Val fucking ADORES YOU. An escaped variant from god knows where, they think you're a blessing with your scary aura and your knowledge about their god [which you know nothing about, you just enjoy feeding them bullshit. It's kept you alive]. Your eyes are as white as theirs, and they find you mysterious. You're an enigma. The heretics love hearing you make remarks and rhyme about things. The members of the New Testament used to attempt to ambush the heretics, but after seeing you appear near every entrance with a menacing grin, they've halted all efforts.

Laird and Nick have opposing views. Laird thinks you're a demon of some sort, as no human being has such white eyes, and Nick finds you cool. He enjoys hearing you read to him, as your voice is as smooth as silk.

[clinicallydumb]

DAY ONE : 1s + 0s

my prompt list

[wastelandhell]

misc valeries from this week

[kittykatkatelol]

im too tired to be bored

im too bored to be tired

/lyrics

truer words have never been spoken lol