#too lazy to explain the metaphor here

[clinicallydumb]

DAY ONE : 1s + 0s

my prompt list

[harspoonz]

caught like a fly

[thedivinetarot]

Put your white tennis shoes on and follow me, why work so hard when can just be free

How do you lure people in?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind.

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head. Open your eyes and the picture that you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- This is a general reading, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

- I usually do an energy check for each pile so that the reading can resonates as much as possible.

- This reading is kind of long. Since it is divided into 4 sections. And each section shows a question including the energy check.

Take care ❤

Arya

1) How do you view yourself?

2) How do you lure people in?

3) How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Pile 1 - Under the moonlight

Your current energy

Well, in this pile I see that there's two energies. The first one is that there's a person in your life who is interested in you romantically. He might have scorpio placements or water placements (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). I see that you are not seeing clearly the situation which is making you feel stuck and stagnant. I see that the other case here is that there's a person in your life or will enter soon who have the placements I mentioned above. At first, you are not going to trust him because you had your fair share of heartbreak. I see that you are going or you are doubting his feelings for you. I see that you think that there's a heartbreak after all this happiness and genuine feelings which is so sad honestly. What I see from the cards is that this person have a very stable feelings for you. But he is either too cold to express them or he have an avoidant attachment style. I see that this person's intentions towards you are very genuine. He want to be in a platonic relationship with you. He want to protect you and support you. I don't honestly see anything harmful coming from that person. The only thing that might sabotage this relationship is you pile 1. I think you are too afraid to be vulnerable and open up to them which keeping you stuck and away from love and happiness. You fear the heartbreak even though that person have literally your best interest at heart. Okay, another energy I'm picking up on is that this pile are working on a project and I literally feel like my mid to lower back is hurting me so bad. Maybe you are putting too much pressure on your physical body which is leading you to feel this way. Or metaphorically; you may be having a lot of assignments and projects for your college/ school or work which is keeping you restless and tired. I see that you are working with a group of people but the main focus is on you idk why. Also I feel like you are working out in a very harsh way which is giving you this pain your back pile 1. Some people here feel pain in their hips and pelvis area too. I literally feel that on my body. Try to rest, drink some herbal tea, read a book and disconnect from the internet. Go out for a walk under the sun (Idk if you live in cold or warm climate but anyways 🥲). Now let's get into the reading.

1- How do you view yourself?

So, this pile see themselves as people who lack foresight and decisiveness. I see that you guys are aware of your own potential but due to laziness and being discouraged by your life circumstances you chose to leave the battle without even trying to fight back. I see that you chose to surrender to whatever life have offered you. You could be a new school graduate who doesn't want to go to college due to your financial state. I see that also this pile are quite mature emotionally. You are a bit nostalgic to your childhood and how things were safe. I see also that you are for whatever reason; you think that your life will change like magic. I will explain to you. You see those movies where the girl lives her WHOLE life thinking she is an ordinary person but then someone tells her that she is a decent queen or princess and her life turn around 180°?(princess diaries movie is a reference here) I feel like this pile want change so bad but at some point you gave up to try and change anything. Like you lost your passion to live or even that your life will improve. I see that you are someone who is very artistic, someone who is very spiritual too. You like traveling, you like learning about different cultures. You like to educate yourself instead of scrolling endlessly on IG or tiktok. But I see that there's still hope for you. Also, what I'm seeing that this pile are quite innocent and if not then you are someone who always feel this sense of nostalgia. You feel nostalgic to people, to places, you always have something to reminisce over. Another thing I'm picking up on is that people in this group are quite motherly. They like taking care of people especially young children. You like setting with them, you like how sweet they are. You might tell yourself that you want to become a mother one day. Some people here view themselves as a gate to heaven. How so? Like you see this person who enters your life and their life change for better? I'm picking up on people with esfj, enfj, infj, isfj, estj mbti. Someone who changes people, who fix them. Who can show them the great future that await them if they change. Pile 1 you see yourself as a catalyst to change.

2-How do you lure people in?

First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile appear stable in front of people. You look put together and elegant. I see that even if you do not wear the best clothes you have people still think that what you are wearing is expensive. I see also that you appear quite heartbroken, there's this melancholic aura around you. Another thing is this pile are quite mysterious by nature. You do not overshare yourself and you keep people thirsty for more. You appear also quite faint? You see those people who are enigmatic? Their hair color is very high in contrast with their skin. There's this aura of mystery around you, which make many people wonder. "Who is she/he?" I am seeing that you are quite magnificent. In the previous paragraph I typed that you view yourself and someone who is innocent and sweet, people also view you like that pile one. They view you as someone who is lovely to be with, especially new friends or people who want to be your friend. They get so excited and happy when you are around. Also, I see that people view you as someone with many potential. You literally know that and you see it in yourself. You know that you have so much potential in you. People in your company feel in awe honestly. You make people also aware of thir beauty and potential. You see beauty everywhere you go. People also see that your views and opinions on the world are quite interesting. You see things in different light and you make people see what they was not able to see before. You appear as a lone wolf to people. You are always alone in public enjoying a drink or walking. You presence is so liked by others. I see beauty and brains yo you could be someone who is blessed by beauty and also smart soo (lucky you pile 1).

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

People who are romantically interested in you see that you have many options. That's why they do not dare to make a move on you. I see that many People crush on you but they fear coming in out of rejection. They fear getting rejected by you pile 1. Also I see that you appear as someone who is content on their own and you do not really want someone out of neediness. You want them because you like them That's why. I see that, you might have stalkers. People in this pile might have got stalked online or physically. I see that because of your mysterious aura People really get curious about you. I see that this pile attracts older men. Like if you are in your 20s you might notice that men who are in their 40s and 50s are attracted to you. And if you are a guy reading this then women really get intrigued by you, especially if they are older. I also see that you always have an option but you chose to stay alone because you think that working on yourself or studying is what really matters. I see that romantic interests tend to view you as someone who is out of their league, someone very nurturing. They may call you wife material and they are right! You are loyal and honest. I see also that you attract older men. Because they are more authoritative and more wealthy that people your age and a little younger/older. Some people in this pile like the baby/daddy dynamic, Idk why but I keep hearing "every man gets his wish and 1949 by Lana Del Rey" go listen to them if you want to. There's a lot of references on the cards on sugar baby/ daddy relationship. Honey, if you want an older man/woman or a sugar daddy/mommy you can easily attract one and believe me you can literally make them your slave. I see that your romantic interest value you because you are not afraid of walking away from things that do not serve you. I see that the love relationship that you are seeking and imagining in your head is meant for you in this lifetime. And you are going to get them no matter how old you get.

4- Placements for this pile

Fire placements (Aries, Sagittarius and leo). Earth placements (Taurus, Capricorn and virgo). Aquarius, Cancer, Venus in scorpio. Pluto with aspects to the ascendant. Mars, jupiter, Uranus, Mercury, neptune dominant.

Pile 2- A cross the shore

Your current energy

Okay, I see this pile feels disappointed because of a man in your life? He could either be your father or someone you are with in a relationship. I see that this man is sabotaging your happiness. You could be so happy and satisfied and then you set with him and your mode change 180° for the worst. I see that also if you are a woman you might be a gemini and this man is so cocky that he make you feel anxious and out of element. Another thing I'm picking up on is that this pile are trying to juggle many responsibilities but due to stress and anxiety you are just postponing your priorities until you get the mind clarity that you are looking for. And if not that case is applicable to your case then I see that you are someone who is very structured or organized and there's many responsibilities on your shoulders right now but due to stress and exhaustion you are just surrendering to life? I see that you need some time for yourself pile 2, try to reflect and take a break. If you have many responsibilities then break the task into small baby steps so you can complete it; also try to take a break between each task. Pile 2 your spirit team is telling you that the worst have finally ended and they want you to know that whatever thing you wish for you'll get it. I see that they are encouraging you to get out and be more social and be optimistic. They hate seeing you sad and anxious. They want you to know that they love you and they are working day and night to insure that you are safe and sound. Idk why I started tearing up I feel suddenly a wave of warm emotions, I also feel so tired and sleepy pile 2 if you want to sleep please go and sleep everything will be alright. They are telling me that the clarity you want will come to you quickly and you don't have to work for it. You only need to set still and listen to the synchronicity they are sending you. Each one of those synchronicities have something to do with what you want to know. God bless you pile 2.

1- How do you view yourself?

I see that you view yourself as someone who is very spiritual. A priestess, I'm seeing. You like to dive deep into the unknown, you have this thirst for dark knowledge like occult, witchcraft, tarot, astrology, alchemy and other forms of divination. I see that you see yourself as someone who embody the pluto archetype. Someone who is in a constant inner change, you could be now having your first or second spiritual awakening which is kinda harsh in your lens. I see that you are someone who is very patient and stubborn. Someone who can reach whatever they want. I see also that you see yourself as someone who is scattered brain and your head is always in the clouds. You could be a dreamer too. I'm seeing that you are someone who is trying their best but you feel like the best thing is nothing important to anyone. I feel like you might see yourself as someone who is an outcast? Someone who is overlooked by others. People don't really take you seriously and they think that you are dumb? (I'm not saying you are dumb neither people around you, it is your perception to things pile 2). I see that you see yourself as someone who is mentally ill, someone who is overlooked by people from their own gender. You might have dealt with girls/girl friends who used you for what you have like money/service or attention and then they ditched you when their business has done. I see that you might be so attached to your female caregiver so much it could be your mother or grandmother or old sister for some of you. Put I'm seeing that this caregiver is old like in their 40s. This pile has a really melancholic perspective of who they are it is like someone who is lost. I see that unlike pile 1, you use your intuition a lot or you started listening to your intuition in order for you to survive. You might have given a lot of people lots of second chances but they played you again until you literally got drained and depleted of energy. So, as a coping mechanism you chose to stay by yourself so you can protect your inner peace. I see you may call yourself a freak in a proud way. Like you see those people who got treated horribly because of their personalities but then they accepted the fact that it is what it is and they started calling themselves of what people called them proudly? You might be like this.

2- How do you lure people in?

Well, pile 2. I see that you act distant and aloof in front of people but once you warm up to someone you can be really helpful. I see that at first people see that you are starting fresh and new in your life (because of your spiritual awakening) they see how mentally and perhaps physically you are changing. I see that you try to do your best to keep your life together, people can see that you are trying but what make them sad is you do not ask for help. You do not want anyone to help you. You think that no one cares but in fact people care more than you think. I see what really make those people stay away from you is that you do not give them a chance to reveal themselves. You might be in a survival mode and you see everything in black and white but life is more than that. This pile make me so sad. It is like I'm not reading for HOW you lure people in it is like WHAT people's reaction when they see you and it is completely two different things. I think that this pile need to work on their perception of themselves because the way you see yourself play a major role of how people treat you. I think that you have self worth issues and you think that you do not deserve happiness or love or friendship. You are telling yourself the SAME damn story to convince yourself that it is what it is but it is not WHAT YOU THINK! I know this awakening is so hard but believe me when you emerge from your cocoon as a beautiful butterfly you'll see how good it is. I feel like many people in this pile are confused of which stage in the spiritual awakening you are in. Personally I've gone through that and this video will help you. I feel like you are in place in your life where survival is an apparent theme and not really anything else. You might be on survival mode for like months or even years. It is not for everyone so take what resonates.

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Okay, due to your distorted self perception of yourself your romantic interests tend to avoid getting closer. But they do see the potential in you. I see that to the opposite gender you might be someone who is considered cute or attractive in general, but the thing is you do not see that yourself. I see that the opposite gender see you as someone who is the wish come true. To them you are someone who is very familiar and lovely. They are so pleased when you talk to them. I told you pile 2. Your self perception is stopping you from going after things that will make you happy. I see that your romantic interest sees how cool and good you are but they fear coming in because of the rejection and heartbreak you'll cause them. I see that you are a forbidden fruit to them. Like they are allowed to look but not allowed to taste or touch. Like a beautiful painting on a wall, they want to get closer to you, they want to touch you and get to know you but you are the one who is running away from anyone who mignt be a good option for you. You might like to start your relationship with the opposite gender as friendship and then develop it into something romantic. I see that your romantic interest view you as someone who is very fortunate, someone who is sweet, bubbly and someone they can trust to have a family with. People in this pile are divided into two sections, one energy here; their romantic interest views them in a sexual lusty way. Like you might be blessed with curves (bigger boobs, nice body shape) they see all of this and they are like "🤤", If you are a man or male I think the opposite gender see you as someone hot or you know very attractive too. I think people in this pile, their romantic interest see you as marriage material. They touch themselves as the thought of you pleasuring them. Others in this pile attracts people like them. Like if you are someone with low self esteem, you'll attract someone with low self esteem too. If you are commitment phobe, you'll attract someone exactly like you. So be careful. In this pile you might feel like your romantic interest mirror your inner self. The trauma, your fears, your doubts, how you see yourself. They mirror it, so please pile 2, try to work on that we want to attract good people into our life.

Placements for this pile:

Gemini, Capricorn, Sagittarius, Water placements or water dominants (Cancer, Scorpio and pisces). Taurus,Virgo, Jupiter, moon, Saturn, Mercury, Pluto dominant. number 3 is significant in this pile.

Pile 3- The light house

Your current energy

Hello pile 3. How are you? I hope you are doing well. First thing I'm picking up on is that this pile is confused. I feel like you just woke up from a deep sleep or you have slept like +9 hours but you are still tried. I feel like this pile are trying to heal and seek clarity. I see that you are trying to label your values and what you really want from life. This pile’s energy are quite serene. You are living your life in a monotone way. Like you wake up, go to work/school/ college, study, eat, go to sleep. And the cycle repeat itself again. You want change in your life but you know that change will not come easily unless it starts from you pile 3. You know that and you are aware of it. You are aware that in order to change you need to work on yourself, you need to get to know your values, what you like and dislike. You want to get to know yourself and what you truly want to live. I see also that you are hanging on a connection that you think has potential but believe me darling, this connection is just an attachment. You are attached to this person and not the other way around. Perhaps, this person may at some point saw something in you but they do not know how to reach out. They do not know how it will work and you know that too. This pile’s energy is very stable, and rational honestly unlike pile 2; I felt like I'm suffocating and I cried while typing their paragraph. Anyways, I see you guys are thinking of moving into another state or country. I see by traveling there; you will put an end to the stagnant energy within you or your life. I see also that this pile will suffer from a short term poor financial state but then everything will be alright. I see that someone might enter your life pile 3, he could be a sagittarius or have sagittarius placements. This person is very driven and sexy omg. I see that soon He will be in your life. The cards are telling me that he will be there all of sudden. His entrance will shake up things in your life for the better. Don't worry pile 3, you will have the cake and eat it too. Soooo enjoy the attention.

1- How do you view yourself?

This pile view themselves as someone who is witty and cunning with a hint of manipulation. I see that you know how to use people to your liking and advantage. I also see that have a pretty convincing way of communicating. You know how to gaslight people to give you want you want. Some people in this pile do manipulate people intentionally, they know what they are doing. I see that you can be pretty lazy and harsh with people. You might have mercury in sagittarius? Or mercury with harsh aspects to pluto? Someone who is very intelligent and lazy. Almost gives me INTP, ISTP, ISTJ, ENTP and some of you could be INFJ or INTJ too. Many of you have been through a lot of financial issues which forced you to leave your lazy tendencies and start seek a job so you can feed yourself. I feel like you are someone who lives alone in their own apartment or own a house by themselves. But you owned this after you worked like a dog to earn this money. I see that some people here lack imagination and you don't really understand why some people call themselves dreamers. You thunk dreaming or imagining things is a dumb thing or you seek the psychological meaning behind it. People in this pile are so logical and pragmatic, you have no connectionto emotions becauseyou think people who think with their heart are stupid. You prefer to see things in objective way. And you hate anything related to theory. You see that there's no use in using theories and you only believe in hard facts. In this pile I see also that you hate being bored I remembered when Lana twitted on X "you are boring me to death and I'm already dead". I think you hate boredom too pile 3. You hate boring people and dumb people. People in this pile can be Narcissists or Machiavellian or you have symptoms of this personality disorder (take what resonates I will not label people here as good or bad you know if you are good or bad pile 3). Also you have a high self esteem and you think that you deserve the world. You might be working right now so you can be in a high position in society. Someone who is authoritative and demanding. You want people to fear you and to respect you more than to like or love you. You get thrilled when someone announce that they hate you and they are your enemy. You like that and it gives you this energy boost. I see also that you are digging your way up, you are trying to prove to yourself that you'll be someone great in the future. You have this enormous drive to you that make you go on and on to reach your goals I'm hearing Marina song "High achiever can't you see, baby nothing come for free" but I forgot the song's name lol. You are always working on your goals and have a vision for the future.

2- How do you lure people in?

Omg this pile is quite bitchy. I hate saying this but people are attracted to you and hate you at the same time. They are attracted to your charm but they hate it when you turn the table on them. You might be someone who LIKES to gossip and because of that almost no one really want to be your friend. People like it when they come to you for advice because you are not swayed by emotions or imagination, you give them your opinion without being shy of sayingthe truth. You lure people in there's this drive to you, the ambition. Especially if you are a man or a male or masculine, everyone droll over how masculine you are. They like how decisive you are. People see the inner power in you, they see how passionate and wonderful you can be. Also you intimidate people, your presence make people uncomfortable because of the powerful aura you show to others. I see also that there's this wonder-ness about you. People in this pile here are not ashamed to explore and discover what they want as I mentioned in the energy check in. I see also that you keep ignoring your intuition and you lack emotional maturity which is soon will be changed. I see one of the lessons you'll learn in this lifetime is to be more emotionally intelligent and to be more compassionate towards others. People see that you are a me me me person. They see that because of your confidence and charm you can be a bit (How can I say it?) You are attention seeker? You are giving me The Weekend vibe idk why😭.

3- How do you lure your romantic interest in?

Your possible romantic interest view you as someone who is warm and optimistic. Most of your romantic interest crush on you because of how you look. They have no idea how dangerous you can be lol. Anyways, your romantic interests view you as someone who doesn't have man friends or a lone wolf even if you are an extrovert and you know a lot of people they assume that you are a lone wolf who doesn't have many friends. I see that your romantic interest are mostly dreamers or people who are delusional. Or I see that you attract people who are the total opposite of your personality. It is for a reason and the reason is to connect more with your emotional side. Your romantic interest feel scared of approaching you because you appear a bit unbalanced or a player. They see you as someone who will probably play them and fuck with their heart (A heartbreaker honestly). You might be someone who is considered attractive to people in the country you are living in. I see that you have a very sexy aura and you sexual energy is out of the chart. You might post nudes of yourself just to tease your crushes online. You have many stalkers too. If you are a guy many girls stalk you online. And if you are a female/girls/feminine many guys harass you online and they send you +18 pic of their.... you know. I see also that your romantic interest view you as someone who is quite harsh with words or someone who is very honest like bluntly honest which most of the time hurt their feelings. Your romantic interest view you as someone who they see a long term relationship with. They see you as someone who can pull them out of their shell. Also someone who is very smart and intelligent. They like how smart you are.

Placements for this pile

Air placements or dominant (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Sagittarius, Leo especially the ascendant, Capricorn, Sun, Mercury, Venus, jupiter as dominant planets in your chart.

Pile 4- Eye of a mermaid

Your current energy

Hello pile 4, how are you? Well let's get into the energy check of yours. First thing I'm picking up on is that you are either in love with someone who doesn't love you back or you have ended a romantic relationship because of a third party. But what mostly obvious here is that there's chasing and convincing. I see that you or the other person are chasing one another and no it is not mutual. It is like the more feminine energy in this connection is putting too much effort that the man started to feel egoistic and self assured that the feminine won't leave him. I see that you guys are very generous and selfless people. You have many friends and you are spending majority of time asking for their advice on your love life. It is painful honestly, I feel like my heart is sinking. You have many potential pile 4 and whatever you are chasing won't come to you unless you detach and forget about it. It is okay if we love someone and they don't love us back but the problem is when you hang your WHOLE existence around that perosn. Love is pure, genuine, it is the most pure energy in this universe. So, don't be sad that they are not sharing their love with you. Instead, be concerned on how to detach from that person. Another energy I'm picking up on is that you might be in a fwb situation or poly relationship. I see many parties interfering with the relationship that you feel the person you are loving is not loving you back. This person honestly is not the best so, try to move yourself out of the situation and give them a block for 2 months. If this person tried to reach out during these 2 months then they care for you and if not then you are just a replacement (sorry for being harsh on you pile 4). I see that this pile here there's someone perhaps a soulmate. This person is coming too soon into your life so whatever situation you are in, you'll find someone who will give you the love that you give to others and they will held you accountable. Okay my dears?

1- How do you view yourself?

Okay, first thing I'm picking up on is that you are someone who really hate change. You can literally eat the same food, do the same routine and live on the same frequency for ages without trying to change you life circumstances. Also, I see that you are someone who is very smart and intelligent. You see yourself as someone who is not swayed by delusions. The funny thing is (what I'm picking up on intuitively) that you say that you don't believe in tarot, astrology or paranormal stuff but you manage to read tarot or like being curious about your placements and other stuff. I see that you see yourself as someone who is pessimistic and not that funny or optimistic at all. The cards are also telling me that you need to change or at least accept the idea of change. You appear as someone who is very charming, tempting or someone who is quite attractive to others. Also you are someone who is very active, you like to keep yourself busy during the day. I see a job that requires you to stay active and in service. You could be a waiter/ waitress or cashier? Someone who is always moving. And if not then you are an athletic who have to always be training. You are someone who is always in their head. You might have anxiety or anxiety attacks randomly. You might also try to surrender to circumstances but there's this voice inside you that always nagging you to keep fighting and pushing back. I guess that's why you are always pessimistic pile 4, it is because you hate how you are forcing yourself to keep going. Because after all this enforcement you are not getting the result you aspire to get at all. You are someone who is very generous with time, effort and money. I see that you view yourself as someone who is very cooperative and if not then you view yourself as an extrovert who have many friends. The cards keep replying the same idea which is the selflessness. You need yo balance the give and take energy in you. If someone gave you attention try to give them the same amount they are giving you and don't take it too far. I see that you have people pleaser tendencies. I see that you don't really see the people pleasing thing as a problem at all. Like you truly like to help others because it heals something in you. I'm picturing Monica Gellir from Friends. She have this strong energy, presence and above all she is so caring and hard worker. You may have something in common with her. I see that you are someone who is a bit romantic too. You like romance, but you see those people on tiktok who read lots of romantic stuff and when someone actually is interested they cringe? You might be like that. I see that you are someone who is very loyal, especially to your friends. You might have you venus or moon in Taurus. I'm sensing here a lot of devotion from you guys unlike pile 3 they are narcissists lol.

2- How do you lure people in?

Pile 4 are you an ENFJ/ESFJ? I feel like this pile are a knight in a shining armor. I feel also that you project a picture to people that is not true about yourself. You may pretend like you have a specific traits that are not in you or you lie about sensitive stuff to avoid the hard feelings that come with it. Many people in this pile are very active and action oriented. People see you as someone with a lot of energy to give to others. I see that you are very helpful and people like that. The way you lure people in is a mix of fogginess and helpfulness. Or you may see that at first people project alot of stuff into you, they may tell you things that is not necessary you. Pile 4 do you have neptune/ascendant aspects? Because people always tend to project into you stuff that are not there. People may view you as someone who is naive, others tend to view you as someone who is manipulative. And so on and so forth. I see that also people view you as someone who lack imagination and if you are imaginative by nature then they see that you are someone who is not spiritual at all. They may tell you that you look helpless even though you know where exactly you are going. There's this fog around how people view you. They can't quite tap into who you truly is! Which leave you misunderstood by others. You are exactly like someone for ex, who spent their whole life being told that they are selfish but you are not selfish and you know that. I see that people see you as someone who is a hard worker. They see your efforts and they appreciate them too. People (because of the projection thing) can't really tell you who you truly are. They see the effort you put but not your potential. You may get laughed at when you claim to want to be a model, a singer or anything because people don't seem to think that you can do that. In fact you can, it is just the thoughts of them that they project onto you which is quite sad honestly. People tend to get possessive of you and attached not because of who you are, but because of who they view you to be. It is like those people have something missing and they paint you with what is missing in their life and they claim that you fulfill all the things that is missing from their life. It is sad honestly because they can't see you for who you truly are, instead they project into you. This pile feels like an object to other people which keep them stuck in the same patterns. I guess from what I'm seeing in the cards that your life mission is to get to know yourself and stop letting others project into you.

3- How you lure your romantic interest in?

Okay, your romantic interest see that you are someone who is very independent and ambitious. You may attract a lot of mentally ill people into your life? Or people with avoidant attachment style or peoplewho are non-committed? I see that this people are quite manipulative. Like for ex, they may lie to you about something that they don't have and then you get shocked of the truth. I see that this pile attracts many cheaters. Or people who is considered a walking red flag. People in this pile may have dated people who do not love them. Not love, I see lust. The opposite gender may lust over you a lot sadly. You may be someone who is considered attractive or beautiful in social standards. You attract many cheaters into your life and indecisive people too. Like okay, those people can never be serious or committed to you at all. I'm picking up on the other woman vibe. A girl or a woman who is so beautiful, she have a big heart but all she get from the opposite gender is cheating, lies non-committed relationships or you may be the side chick in the relationship. That's why in the beginning of the reading I felt this sense of unrequited love! It is because you want a relationship, you want love but you can't seem to attract those to you and it is frustrating! You may always try to prove that you are more than a beautiful face/body but unfortunately they only see you as a sexual object. And if you are a man you may have dated several women who were not serious about committing to you or women who is considered hot but are superficial and only cares about money (like more than who you truly are). This pile is sad honestly, all people here are not seen for who they truly are but instead who people want them to be. So, I see that you'll take a reflecting period and quit dating for a while just to see what you truly want and if you are already doing that then good for you pile 4. You deserve applause 👏🏻. Take time and detach, learn how to love yourself, and seek the truth! You truth and what truly matter in your life.

Placements for this pile

Fire placements especially Aries, Air placements (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius). Earth placements (capricorn, virgo and taurus). Saturn, Mercury, jupiter, Uranus, neptune, sun dominant.

Post dated: 22nd of Sep/2024- Sun

*Feedback is appreciated

[stupidphototricks]

Just going to dump my notes file of favorite quotes from The Fifth Elephant and Wintersmith here, it's an odd pairing but what the heck.

"Sometimes," Vetinari said, testily, "it really does seem to me that the culture of cynicism in the Watch is... is..." "Insufficient?" said Vimes. -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

He enjoyed moments like these, the little bowl of time when the crime lay before him and he believed that the world was capable of being solved. -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

"I hate when you get too many clues, it makes it so damn hard to solve anything." -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

"Dere's guys in der road," said the troll. "Dey got halibuts." Vimes looked out of the windows. There were half a dozen guards, and they did indeed have halberds. -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

"Yes," mumbled Vimes, experiencing vertigo and seasickness in one tight green package. -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

It wasn't just that his brain was writing checks that his body couldn't cash. It had gone beyond that. Now his feet were borrowing money that his legs hadn't got, and his back muscles were looking for loose change under the sofa cushions. -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

"Where should I fire it, Mister Vimes?" "Good grief, not in here! This is an enclosed building!" "Only up until I pull dis trigger, sir." -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

Vimes sat and stared. His head felt like some vast sea that had just been parted by a prophet. Where there should have been activity, there was just bare sand and the occasional floundering fish. -- Terry Pratchett, The Fifth Elephant

"This I choose to do. If there is a price, this I choose to pay. If it is my death, then I choose to die. Where this takes me, there I choose to go. I choose. This I choose to do." -- Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith (Tiffany Aching is thirteen years old here)

You had to deal every day with people who were foolish and lazy and untruthful and downright unpleasant, and you could certainly end up thinking that the world would be considerably improved if you gave them a slap. But you didn't because, as Miss Tick had once explained: a) it would make the world a better place for only a very short time; b) it would then make the world a slightly worse place; and c) you're not supposed to be as stupid as they are. -- Terry Pratchett, Wintersmith

I mean the range from comic quips to unusual yet perfect metaphors to breathtaking insights is just. How.

[nejiverse]

YOU’RE HIRED!

Nagi Seishiro

In which you ‘interview’ your jobless boyfriend

cw: suggestive at the end, choki is the name of nagi’s pet cactus for those who don’t know, I���ll proofread this later lol

802 words

"Sei you really need to get a job", you plopped down next to him on the bed as he looked extremely focused on what ever game he was playing.

"Ehh? Sounds like a pain".

"Breathing is a pain for you love, at this point you're just gonna have to build a bridge and get over it", you spoke resting your head on his shoulder.

He frowned. "Building a bridge sounds like a pain too".

"...i meant that metaphorically, I don't actually expect you to build one", you didn't think you'd ever have to explain that...but here you were.

"Still a pain".

You were on the verge of banning that word from his vocabulary.

You let the room fall silent for a second before you quickly snatched his console away from him and crawled to the end of the bed.

Which unfortunately was unsuccessful because Nagi grabbed you by your leg.

"Stealing isn't nice y'know", he pouted while he put his hand out, expecting you to drop his console back into his hand.

"Oh like that time you stole my last chicken nugget?".

"Borrowed actually", he huffed.

You shook your head and stuffed his console down your shirt, showing your empty hands to him as if you've just done the most incredible magic trick.

"You need a life babe", it was true. All he did was wake up, play games, and go back to sleep. It was unhealthy.

"You are my life", he responded.

You laughed. "Nice try but that won't get your console back".

"Aw, damn".

You thought of an idea that'd entertain you but also would let you figure out if your boyfriend was equipped for a job...or if anyone would even consider employing him.

"Alright pretend i'm your potential employer, if you pass my interview you can have it back", you sat up and crossed your legs.

Nagi agreed, but only if you'd make it easy.

"So tell me a bit about yourself", you decided to skip introductions. There was no way anyone could flunk that, even your lazy boyfriend.

"Mmm my name is Nagi Seishiro, I like games and sleep", he blinked at you as you urged him to go on but he only shrugged his shoulders. "That's it".

You face palmed at his hopelessness. "Sei is that seriously what you're gonna tell your employer?!".

"Of course it is".

The fact that he was serious added to your worry for him but the show must go on.

"Why did you decide to apply for this job?".

Nagi placed a hand on his chin in thought. He already had his answer but it just added to the theatrics of it all in his opinion.

"I was forced to apply against my will by my girlfriend", he spoke.

"Seiii! Your employer will literally leave!", you shook his shoulders gently.

"I say good riddance".

"Okay one more question, and answer it properly!", you forewarned. He thought his answers were pretty proper though.

"Why should we hire you?".

"So my girlfriend'll stop bugging me about getting a job...do I get the job now?".

"Fuck no", you laughed, scooting closer to your disappointed boyfriend who laid back down with a sigh.

"If it makes you feel any better, A for effort", you laid your head on his chest. "You can just work from home or something".

"I can be a house husband", you looked up at him quizzically.

"Sei, sweetie, love of my life, you don't even do the small chores you have these days...I don't think that's possible", you patted his chest.

He grumbled under his breath, you really had zero faith in him but you were only being realistic.

"Alright then I can be a stay at home dad”.

You raised a brow. Nagi of all people as a father??. "For that you'd need actual kids. We've none of those".

You were taken aback when Nagi moved your head from his chest to the pillow and got on too of you, a hand at your head and the other on your waist. You blinked blankly. "Let's get to baby makin' then", he said it so casually, you were shocked…but not completely opposed to the idea.

“S-seriously?”, you averted your gaze to the side.

Nagi’s hand slithered up your top as he shook his head.

“Nah, I just realised I’d still have to do chores”, he took back his console and laid next to you, continuing his game. “Besides we’ve got a kid already”.

“We do?”.

“Yeah, Choki”.

Masterlist :)

a/n: more drafts..I’ve a biology exam in two days and I just came back from holidays 💀

[stardewvalleybut-i-draw]

Hi! New to your blog, I was curious about your thoughts on Shane? :’) I was gonna marry Eliot but was too lazy to find all his loved items, so I just went with Shane instead. I have definitely grown to love him (I’m his number one apologist and defender)

Welcome! Welcome!

Honesty, Shane's story was kinda spoiled for me cuz of Youtube so when he was being kinda mean I brushed it off knowing it was a character flaw in the beginning that changed later.

so IMMEDIATELY, I'm biased.

I only saw snip bits here and there out of context and I was more confused by why a bright colorful farming game was talking about depression, addiction, and sui**dal ideation.

Shane's also one of the easiest villagers to befriend so when I first played, I accidentally befriended him, and OH BOY! Were his scenes a whiplash 😅 I kept forgetting how dark they were LMAOOO

(I was just trying to get chickens💀)

I can kinda understand some of the critiques on the character but it's really dependent on how you interpret Shane. He's no saint, he has behaviors that can be explained but not necessarily justified.

But to comment on two of the criticisms:

Some people dislike how Shane drinks even after the event.

It's more of a gameplay mechanic flaw but also I think it unintentionally matches with real alcoholism recovery. Depending on how much alcohol you have drank and how bad your liver is...you can't just stop drinking.

If your body is used to a certain level of alcohol in its systems and then one day you just stop, you go into shock AND YOU DIE :D

Fun Fact!

There's also the comment on how the Player "fixes" Shane and criticisms on the players who choose to like Shane but that's a critique on the player. Not the character. So I can't really comment much on that one. And my personal interpretation of the fixing thing: nah.

I'll use the metaphor Shane used.

When you're stuck at the bottom of the abyss and you can't see the light anymore... if someone throws down a rope from the top...it does not mean they saved you. You have the choice of using the rope to climb out or staying at the bottom.

ANYWAY

Personally, I like flawed characters! They usually give you a lot to dissect and reflect on so I think he's chill😎👍

Probably gonna be a while until you see a fully drawn piece of Shane that isn't doodle. Sorry Shane enjoyers, this is all I got 😅

[triglycercule]

Hi, are there any mtt interpretations/headcanons you don't like? -evil doppelganger

i am FAR too deep into the murder time rabbit hole to be asked this question dearest evil doppelganger because i like majority of trio interpretations and headcanons,,,,,, likeeeee people have SO MANY amazing ideas and even if i don't fully ADORE their interpretation of the trio i can still appreciate it and find things that i like about it!!! openmindedness and allat even if it's not my own personal cup of tea :3 that's what you need when youre in fandom i suppose,,,,, keeping your mind open to the contrary and cringe ‼️

but that doesn't mean i LOVE every single trio interpretation. first thing that comes to head are like overly bara FAR TOO masculine MUSCLE hot sexy trio. and then also the inverse of like babyfied TOO feminine weak and cutesy murder time trio. maybe it's just because i think that majority (with the exception of ones where gender plays a big role in their character) of sans aus would just be like,,,, gender neutral non binary. like even sans undertale doesn't read as male to me he's just a fellow!!! he's just a guy!!!! and that's cool and since theyre continuations (OMG CONTINUATION GROUP!!! 継続組‼️‼️‼️) of sans undertale that might get carried on. ITS NOT EVEN THAT ITS A DETERRENT TO THE TRIO because if theyre well depicted then i can choke down the really masc or fem designs. but usually these types of designs come at the cost of.... (gulp) DECENT characterization (shivers in my boots)

anyways NUMBER 2 i suppose would be like. BASIC mischaracterizations of the 3. like assuming killer joined his chara just for shits and giggles when ITS LITERALLY IN THE FANON WIKI!!! you dont even have to read the something new comics to know that he had his code altered,,,,, you dont even have to delve into the intricacies of that detail to at least KNOW ABOUT IT. i would bring up the misinterpretation that horror is a cannibal here but i actually kinda like the idea i just dont like that people think its CANON canon. like i find it funny when he talks about eating humans to others and they get weirded out (not because i think that he eats humans like the hc states but because i think he'd totally say freaky shit like that to creep people out!!) and like,,,, dust and when people think that phantom paps is a GHOST and not a hallucination. i mean i blame the fangame for this by adding a section where phantom papyrus ATTACKS for some reason??? but still. just like reaaaally basic surface level knowledge that should be known with literally the first search (but i get that some people are just that lazy (REAL) and im not THAT offended when people say that. maybe if they expanded more on these ideas it would be cool......?????? even if its not CANON)

(on a side note of basic murder time trio characterization this guy created a video explaining the trio! it's not THAT bad i guess,,, idk maybe i'm just greatful that someone made a video explaining them but i dont know why when choosing the "canon" version of the trio to explain he DID bring up touken-kamui's mtt but then also brought up the,,,, VILLIAN SANS SQUAD mtt??? hello??? why not just the original rahafwabas (and probably joku too but i cant be bothered) comics about the trio since you're including the bad sanses version of the mtt's canon!!! i had a whole rant about this to my friend because why did he do this???? it's also a bit funny because he goes on about goku in the middle of the video 💀 ALSO WHY IS THERE A RANDOM PHOTO OF MAMI TOMOE IN THE VIDEO???)

ANYWAYS THIRD GRIPE!!! i guess like,,, this is more of a bad sanses thing but me when people keep dust and horror glued to each other's asses ALL THE DAMN TIME!!!???? and then killer's SUPERGLUED to nightmare's most insignificant tentacle bro (or cross?? idk i dont consider him a bad sans but a LOT of people do) it just like. why make a duo out of a group of people? it's an unrealted metaphor but it just reminds me of project sekai when people always seperate the 4 people groups up into duos! like why!!! theres 4 people in there!!! even in like a basic friend group everyone interacts with eachother AND THESE GUYS LIVE TOGETHER!!! IN BAD SANS POLY THEYRE SUPPOSED TO LOVE EACHOTHER??????

and i guess that's it,,,, i don't know tbh right now these are all the ones i can think of. theres other stuff that bothers me too but it doesnt BOTHER me its just mildly displeasing yet not enough to warrant me trashing it! anyways its not like i have anything personal against these things anyways aside from like. the weird characterization and separation??? ik people actually do simp for these guys (could NEVER) and that some people just dont care for canon!! and thats ok!!! i love ALL versions of my murder time trio no matter what..... unless someone brutally ruins them to do terrible crimes that not even i can defend but if so i do not blame my trio i blame THEM

thank you- WAIT??? EVIL DOPPELGANGER??? I THOUGHT I GOT RID OF YOU BACK IN THE SQUABBLE OF 89? how are you.... how are you BACK? i swear if you do any of your evil doppelganger tricks again i wont hesitate to use my totally tubular special attack (running away) (THANK YOU FOR THE ASK :3! IT WAS REALLY FUN ANSWERING THIS WHOEVER YOU ARE!!!)

[nickssidewitch]

chris said he is „afraid“ of having a girlfriend and when he was asked why in an interview he didn’t really respond. can you possibly tell us more about what he is so worried about and maybe how he has been hurt in the past?

I won’t say much because that’s veryyyy personal! I wouldn’t want to put any sort of negative experiences that he or his brothers have went through out in the open because that is for them and them only to process and heal from.

What I will say however, is that his “fear of having a girlfriend��� was explained the best way he absolutely could put it on Zach Sang’s podcast. Putting his all into someone is pretty terrifying for him, as it is for a lot of people unfortunately. People experience betrayal, hurt, and disappointment in relationships sometimes, especially in young relationships like his. That’s why he’s afraid, and at most (I’m gonna use a metaphor) he only dips his toe in the water and then pulls out even if it’s just a tad bit too chilly 😭 He has a fear that he’s gonna accidentally overstep boundaries, or that he might rush or go at a pace uncomfortable to her, or that he/she might be more committed than the other at a certain point. Just a lot of uncertainties and unpredictabilities which lead to fear and worry.

He also thinks that his career might get in the way of a romantic relationship. He’s certainly not a lazy man and certainly puts his all into whatever projects he has. He fears that that might jeopardize his relationships, or that his relationship might jeopardize his work. Unbalance is definitely what shows up here.

He’s only 21, and I feel he sometimes forgets this. The moment he turned 18, he has had fears of entering the adult world and experiencing adult things, romantic and sexual relationships included. He sometimes forgets he has so much to learn and experience in love and life. He forgets that he can slow down to take his time and learn what type of partner he is and what type of relationship he’s looking for. He won’t “get over this”— he’ll just learn ways to be healthy and productive in his love life.

I can tell he kinda expects his love to be handed to him on a silver platter in a way, just to make things less difficult. But that’s all due to immaturity. He’ll grow out of that after a couple of experiences 😭.

Don’t worry about his love life at all, you guys!! He has a path of love that’s worth looking forward to. 🙌🏾🥰

I loved this question anon!! 🤍✨

[mxdarling]

[FABLE OF THE STARS (2)]

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

ೃ⁀➷: summary: after reading the first few pages of the fable of stars, you can't help but let yourself be intrigued by even more people who live beyond the stars. let us open your eyes to their story.

ೃ⁀➷: word count: 1.2k

ೃ⁀➷: ref/inspo: fable of the stars #1 | fable of the stars #2

[author’s note:] FINALLY PART 2!! no one really asked for a part 2 but i felt the need to write one plus my motivation is high on hsr anyways, so here i am rushing to finish this before school starts so let's hope this one is written a bit better than the first one CUZZ i didn't proofread shit last time BHDHBD

[part one]

[note:] If there is anything else triggering here that I didn’t list in the warnings section, please tell me.

[warnings:] bad metaphoric writing, bad attempt of character analysis (take this with a grain of salt please), lowercase, not spoiler free, can be considered 'x reader' if you're delulu enough, noah is trying to explain hsr character lore (and failing miserably, once again).

MARCH 7TH, THE WARRIOR

a cute girl who always has her camera with her and enjoys taking pictures of everything around her. according to her, it's good to have a pastime for someone her age, and she's less likely to forget these memories. every photo she takes inside her camera is safely kept close to her heart and in the comfort of her own room, where she can hang it up and smile to herself, hoping to take even more photos while she's around. perhaps deep down there's this inkling fear that one day all those memories she's made with everyone will be forgotten, that these people who've been with her through thick and thin will suddenly become strangers to her.

although she often has a smile on her face, she struggles to find her place in the astral express. in her mind, everyone has a role within the astral express: pom-pom is the conductor, himeko is the navigator, welt is the jack of all-trades, dan heng is the guard, and she is... the warrior. she doesn't necessarily feel nor act like one; warriors commonly don't wield a bow and arrow—rather, they hold their swords with a tight grip, slashing through every obstacle that comes their way, and when faced with a formidable foe, they push forward with bravery in their hearts and end up victorious. one day, she wishes to be just like those warriors, and maybe she'll find her place in the express.

contrary to belief, a cute girl such as herself is very much into mystery novels, especially ones that feature a detective. how they follow the trail of clues to piece together to hopefully solve whatever mystery they're trying to uncover—that's what makes the story so compelling for you. how you can read a clue and not understand its purpose only to realize what the clue meant many pages later, how there's a sense of satisfaction after reaching the end of the protagonist's journey to figure out the truth, how they learned so much about the world around them, their family, their friends, their enemies, their frenemies, but most importantly—themselves. to march, the feeling of needing to find what's inside a mystery is all too familiar, for she—herself—is the greatest mystery.

"a girl who once slumbered in eternal ice and knows nothing about her past. to find out the truth about her origins, she decided to travel with the astral express. as of right now, she has prepared about 67 different versions of her life story for herself."

JINGYUAN, GENERAL OF THE XIANZHOU LUOFU

the "dozing general," a title he's gained through his seemingly lazy demeanor, taking every opportunity to take a nap, spending an awful amount of time in leisure, gradually falling asleep during one of fu xuan's lengthy reasonings of why she should be nominated to generalship, and much more. yet he's much more attentive than he lets out to be, able to perceive the intentions of other people, keeping his cards close to his chest, knowing exactly how to play them at the right moment to catch the other person off guard, and checkmate you when you least expect it.

through his careful management of affairs and wise strategy of leading the cloud knights, the peaceful years seem to stretch into many centuries for the citizens of the luofu. while some have complained that the general feared combat so much so that he rarely resorts to battle it out, yet that couldn't be further from the truth. the reason is simple: he's protective—not corrective; he does not consider saving the xianzhou luofu from disaster at the last minute as a showcase of wisdom. he continues to oversee the xianzhou luofu, using his intellect to cut down on any thorny problems they encounter—like the tip of the sharpest blade.

even then, his renowned abilities as a general and his intellect are nothing against the cruel reality of time. in the past, the high-cloud quintet was regarded as legends during their time, accomplishing countless feats throughout their prime. however, in just less than a hundred years, the five of them soon fell apart. he watched and witnessed the destruction fall upon his very own friends—how, at the very end, he's the only one remaining. fate has been so cruel to other people around him yet somehow spares his out of everyone else, a haunting reminder of his powerlessness against the enemy that is time.

"the divine foresight, one of the seven arbiter-generals of the xianzhou alliance, leads the cloud knights of the xianzhou luofu. a student of the luofu's previous sword champion, though not known for his martial prowess."

JINGLIU, FORMER SWORD CHAMPION

in the present day, her name is one that is considered forbidden, and it has been like that a long time ago. her name has been erased from any sort of history recorded in the public's eye; only those in higher positions or who lived long enough to see the high-cloud quintet in their prime would remember it. remember how she was the one who established that high-cloud quintet, remember how she taught jing yuan the art of the sword and saw the fruits of his effort turn into his glory, remember how many praised her for wielding a sword so impressively, and that the title of sword champion is one she's earned rightfully so. they remembered, for the past can never be truly forgotten.

she recalls the first time she met her student, a young but devious child who had asked the same questions as she did back when she was younger and when her master was still alive. "master, why do you insist on using the sword? aren't there other weapons available you could've used?" he curiously asked during one of their trainings. "that's like asking why poets write poems; there are many ways to express oneself, but this is the only way i express myself," she replies with wisdom, the same kind her master has given her back then. her master is no longer around, though; there is no one to instruct her or provide any more lessons. however, she no longer needs one; the way of the sword has been imprinted into her system so long ago and so many times. she knows everything there is about a sword; they've become a part of her now.

she's has lifted and wielded many swords in this lifetime, and in many battles and wars she's stood side-to-side with allies and her disciple—no matter which way her sword swung, abominations could never escape the death or imprisonment destined for them. she just never thought she'd be pointing the end of her sword towards a lifelong friend in battle. it was during that time that she felt trapped in her own nightmares again, the destruction of her own home caused by that ominous planet, and she was unable to struggle against such a fate. yet as she leaped forward into the battlefield, suddenly familiar words were heard: "i will cut down even the stars in the sky."

"former sword champion of the luofu, and the creator of the cloud knights' legends of undefeated might. now, her name has been wiped from the records, and she is a traitor of the xianzhou walking on the fine line between sanity and mara-struck."

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅• •❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

PLEASE DO NOT COPY, REPOST, SHARE, TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO OTHER SITES WITHOUT MY PERMISSION + REBLOGS AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED.

[onmyyan]

Currently trying to overcome writer's block for this writing trade I'm doing so I had to go back to the delmonts and boy howdy- hear me out. I had the perfect idea for a shared! darling

Free use kink. Like, it's probably a lot of work to divvy out the times and the days that the boys would get with you. It's made even more complicated since I'm sure the boys would all agree that darling's wishes come first. So while they each have their days where they spend time with the reader doing cute domestic things or just fluffy content in general- the nsfw is a little more chaotic

It's really a- if darling lets you do it you can go for it. And if the darling has been raised around these boys their whole life and is, by now, used to all their affections and shenanigans just takes it all in stride. After all, these are very affectionate boys we're dealing with here.

Just imagine it, waking up and then heading to the bathroom to shower and then Ricky's sliding on in to have some fun before he has to get to work and get everything ready for the day. He grabs a coffee and dips after a small bout of affection, leaving reader to clean themselves again.

It's a bit of a lazy morning so aside from Cas cooking in the kitchen, no one's there. You go to help make breakfast and suddenly shorts are being pulled down and he's taking his darlin over the counter. Or, even better, you get to go on the ride of your life while he feeds you breakfast.

Cas then heads off to tend to the gardens and grocery shop, leaving you to hang with Gabe who's returning from a morning workout/run. Probably doesn't actually have to show up at the shop until there's something to fix so he plays some video games while you watch. You tell him all about how your morning has been and now he's feeling very left out and really needy. Just hoists you up and bounces you while he's playing. If this is a regular thing there's no real hesitation, just a sudden tug and bam.

Groans when Ricky texts him, leaving you a mess in the living room before he heads off, though he's always certain to give you a smooch goodbye. Will carry you to your room if you ask.

The twins are probably the last to wake, stirring sometime in the afternoon due to whatever it is those two get up to late at night. Partying, murder, arson, idk. They don't even have to ask- they know just from looking at their darling about what's happened. Clearly, they've been cheated of a very happy morning.

But you certainly want to make it up to them right?? It's only fair!

Getting sandwiched between the twins for the next few hours might not have been what you had planned, but it's not unwelcome. The two of them take turns and behave if just to spare you the extra exhaustion of having to juggle between the two of them. Once they're finished they cuddle up to you and take care of your every need till they get called away to the shop or until their other plans come up.

I dunno how you feel about it, but I don't find the mental image of the reader being all surrounded in the conversation pit by the brothers to be an awful sight. Just imagine, it's a real real busy day. Cas has breakfast wrapped and on the table for you. Little snacks and treats from the twins scattered everywhere for you. A note from Ricky explaining and apologizing that the boys couldn't be there to wake you up. Gabe grumpy because he's too busy to even leave a message or thing behind like the rest of the brothers. Yeah, he's that busy.

You just chill in the house for the whole day, watching tv or reading or playing games. Whatever burns the time and keeps your attention. Then all the boys come home very apologetic and very needy. They want to make it up to you and before you know it every facet of you is being used one way or another. Barely any space or time to think, just, all you can do is focus on what they're giving you and taking it in all in stride- metaphorically and phyically.

God. And if darling really wanted to try their luck or maybe its been one too many days of this treatment and they've become very well trained they just go around bottomless. Makes it all easier that way. It also serves as the biggest "take me now" sign. Darling at that point WILL be grabbed and will be thoroughly ravished.

Thank you for listening to my TedTalk and now having finished this, my writer's block is over and I will disappear to try and finish this piece I'm working on lol no more procrastinating!!

the bark that left me at this was....something lmfao

but fr this is so tasty??? and also super likely in the shared darling universe, omfg there's nowhere in that house you haven't had your guts rearranged in.

[fullofbees]

Going off how lazy he is let's assume Belphie has the worst hygine among the brothers and his musk could probably gag the mc. Considering he sleeps in their room. They probably just get use to it via exposure but its potent for sure.

A/N: Sweaty musk? Check. Gagging? Check. Oh yeah, it's all coming together... hope you enjoy anon!

CW: Sweat/musk, a little degradation, dub-con

»»----------► Reader is Gender Neutral

Naptime with Belphie was always, without a doubt, the best sleep you got at the House of Lamentation. Whether snoozing the day away in your room, the attic, or in a cuddly pile with Beel, you always sought out the seventh-born when you desperately needed a good night’s rest. 

Perhaps it was his sin; he had explained how he could influence a person’s dreams, both quelling and amplifying nightmares to boot. You didn’t have to ask if he used this power on you. Any dreams had in Belphie’s presence were peaceful; often featuring scenes of your newfound family, unburdened with royal or academic responsibilities. You dreamed of food from home, showing them all your Earthly favorites, and ever so often he would tease you with a dream that left a burning ache in your core when you awoke. 

Maybe it was the relaxation you felt with him; you needn’t worry about being woken up prematurely. Everyone knew what a terror Belphegor was if his slumber was disturbed, so if they found you curled up in his arms, then you were spared from the brothers’ antics for the time being. A few times you had purposefully sought him out after getting into trouble with Lucifer, for even the eldest demon knew his brothers could not resist your temptation, and would let you both be. Of course, he would ignore the satisfied grin on his youngest brother’s face at having temporarily inconvenienced him.  

No matter the cause, naps with the Avatar of Sloth were frequent. Some were quick cat naps to prepare for studying, and others lasted multiple hours, only ending when Beel finally pulled you apart insisting that you needed to eat. 

That is the state of affairs in the House of Lamentation today. Saturday morning came and went with neither of you making it down to breakfast. The others shrugged it off. Belphie missing weekend breakfast was a guarantee, and after the near all-nighter you and Levi pulled grinding on Barbas’s Gate 3, it would take a celestial miracle to make you appear at the table. However, once day drifted into night, dinner was met with the same two empty chairs. 

Despite the still-healing wounds of Belphie’s imprisonment, you often found him napping in the attic. It’s a strange feeling for you too. The attic represented mystery; with frantic steps, you would bound up to greet the imprisoned “human” behind the iron door. When you departed from Levi’s room that morning, the memory lingered as you leisurely ascended the spiral staircase. Though no door existed to separate you two, you still found yourself hesitating at the threshold before pushing through and climbing in next to him. His body quickly found yours, arms securing tight around your waist as he groggily mumbled something unintelligible. It wasn’t long before you were dead to the world. 

That is where Beel found you two, Standing the best chance at not being metaphorically devoured, Lucifer sent Beelzebub to check up on you two after only his fourth helping, with no chance of a fifth if he could not return with results. Frightened at the prospect of being denied his usual helpings, the sixth-born gently shook your intertwined bodies and whispered your names.

You were the first to rouse, eyes bleary with sleep as you mumbled out, “Beel?”

The blurry figure of the gluttonous demon became sharper as you cleared the sleep from your eyes. “What time is it?”

Beel pouted, “It’s dinner time.”

You almost laugh as his answer is punctuated with his stomach growling. Seeing his desperate, ravenous look, it’s easy for you to put two and two together to figure out why he’s here, and more importantly, who sent him here. However, the slothful demon at your side shows no interest in waking, seemingly dooming his older brother to starve. You try to help Beel shake him awake, but he only raises his head to grumble angrily before returning to lying on your chest. 

“I’m sorry, Beel. Tell Lucifer that I’m working on waking Belphie and then we’ll be down. Don’t wait on us,” you say.

“I don’t think I’m allowed to return without you guys…”

“If that’s the case, I have a whole trove of snacks in my room you can have.”

Beel smiles and says his thanks before leaving you alone once again.

In the silence following his departure, you stare at the ceiling and try to regain some more of your bearings. The cocoon of blankets allowed the heat of your bodies to build, soothing your muscles into relaxation. Indentations from the fabric litter your body and face, you feel practically boneless, and you’re sure there’s a small puddle of drool on your pillow. The nap was so good. 

Still, you’ve practically slept the day away and want to at least get some errands done before the shops close for the night. You try to inch yourself out from under Belphie, but his grip only tightens as his gravelly voice rumbles out, “...’m not hungry.”

At this point, you become aware of the thick layer of sweat that covers your body. Amidst the blanket insulation, Belphegor still sported his jacket and full-length pants, generating enough heat to make the attic feel like a sauna. 

“Belphie, we need to get up,” you sigh as you attempt to break the blanket seal by sitting up. 

The demon is not having it, using his superior strength to pull you back down until you’re face-to-face with him. He adjusts the blankets so that only your heads are exposed to the air before pulling you closer to him than you thought possible. “No. Not hungry."

You love the demon, you really, really, do. But after several hours of intense snuggling and snoring, the smell of his breath hitting your nose makes you gag. Belphie’s soft laughs make you realize that you did in fact gag– out loud. 

“Can’t handle a little morning breath, human?” He teases, the words and his laughs only shoving more of the stench in your face. 

“Belphie, seriously!” You whine as you struggle against him, “I’m sure I’m not any better, but we’re sweaty and stinky. It’s time to get up.”

Belphegor’s hand slides down to the back of your knee and slings your leg over his waist, lazily grinding his hips into yours, “You like it.”

“Wha–” You’re cut off by the sixth-born crashing his lips to yours, tongue easily slipping into your mouth when you gasp in surprise. 

The feeling left in your mouth when you haven’t brushed drives you insane, but doesn’t seem to bother the demon as his tongue runs along your teeth, fangs scraping against your lips. His tongue is stickily hot against yours, the mix of stank morning breath filling your lungs. Belphegor’s balmy hand runs along your thigh before dipping between where your hips meet. You shiver, skin erupting in goosebumps from the coolness of your own sweat starkly contrasting against the steamy atmosphere.

Your hands rush to tangle in his hair, fingers meeting the damp strands and combing back the pieces that are stuck to his face. Sweat beads on the back of his neck, though the droplets soon become smeared when your hand moves to hold him in place. Belphegor groans when you dig your nails sharply into his flesh.

He briefly parts from your lips, whispering a pompous, “I knew you liked filth.”

“That’s– it isn’t like that–” You manage to stammer out before the demon runs his hand along your crotch. He teases you through the fabric of your underwear as he licks the sweat pooling along your collarbone. 

Belphegor laughs again, enjoying the way the flush of your already heated skin deepens from your embarrassment. “You can’t lie to me. You spent all night with that smelly otaku. Then you came to me, knowing how sweaty we get. You’re not subtle.”

He increases the pressure against your crotch, choked moans following as you desperately try not to prove him right. Using his free hand, the demon grabs the waistband of his pants and begins to push them down. “You want me to fuck you, hm? Fill you up with this filthy cock?” 

Your thighs tremble in anticipation and your stomach lurches in arousal at his words. Sensing that Belphie won’t let you go anytime soon, and too horny for your own damn good, you give in to his taunts. “Please… please fuck me.”

The demon hums his amusement, “If you feel gross now, then I’ll make sure you feel vile.”

•••✦ ❤ ✦••• Submit A Request | Read on AO3 •••✦ ❤ ✦•••

[alexanderwales]

It's been a while since I've seen something in a movie or show that feels so egregiously stupid that it actually bothers me, but then I watched Dark Matter on Apple TV, and ... oh boy. Spoilers follow. I have not read the book it's based on, and haven't finished the show.

The basic premise is that there's a way to travel between worlds by injecting a drug and closing yourself in a specially made metal box, which puts you in a state of superposition and then allows you a long tunnel of doorways into other worlds. The doorways respond to thoughts and emotions, but if you're good enough, and know this secret, you can recognize a precise world. Quantum physics does not work like this, but whatever, I will accept this as part of the Rules of the Show.

So our protagonist gets kidnapped by our antagonist, who is an alternate universe version of him. He eventually realizes he's in another universe and escapes into the box, leaving him trying to get back to his original world, Sliders style. This, too, is something that I'm willing to accept. The show alternates between our antagonist in the home universe and the protagonist trying to find his way home and seeing some of the roads not taken (actually mostly dystopias).

The first time I thought "wow, this show is actually stupid" was when the possibility of stealing from other universes was brought up. The antagonist says "you can't rob banks, bills have serial numbers, people would notice". And then we just move on. But what about gold? What about movies, or novels, or patents, or a hundred other things you could take from other worlds? This is just never brought up again.

And okay, I can give this a pass. The book was a thriller and the show is trying to be a character study, and you don't want to spend time on thinking about how to exploit infinitely many other Earths. But why bring it up then? Why this lazy deflection?

The second moment, when I had to accept that the show was simply stupid, was when the protagonist is trying to go home and is checking each world to see whether it's the right one. He goes to his home, sees that it is his home, grabs a knife from the counter, goes upstairs to his wife, and she screams at him because in that world he's in prison and they're divorced (for reasons that really should have been explained, but are not, I'm really not asking for much here, the show is a "path not taken" character study and you're just not going to tell us what the path actually was, come on).

I understand wanting a scene like this in the show. It's dramatic, it's thrilling, we're not sure it's the right universe, it's a twist ... but it's dumb. Why is our protagonist not using the internet to check these things? He's a college professor, can't he at least double-check that he's on the faculty page or whatever? Doesn't a search for his name or his wife's name instantly give him 99% of the information he needs? He doesn't have a phone, okay, whatever, he can still go to a public library or internet cafe or just pay some rando to use their phone for five minutes. This is leaving aside the fact that the show has no sense of travel times, and floats merrily from location to location, when in reality the trip from the box to his house should be at least thirty minutes, if not more. It's faster to just check the internet for these things. Find some wifi, my dude.

I try to be understanding about these things. You're writing a show, you have a metaphorical budget of time and a literal budget of money. But come on.

[jumpingjollyrancher]

Day 11: Surrogate

Emet-Selch is observing. He’s said as much himself. He’s here not for malice but to watch. He wants to see them prove themselves. What a gentleman of an Ascian, one might argue. Junior would not. He knows what observation truly is. This is a weighing of the scales. Are they worth it? What is worth to Emet-Selch?

The man, if he can be called such, is quite willing to answer questions. He might act as if they’re tiresome or give half-answers, but he does answer. Yet, Junior doesn’t know why he’s still observing. Every time he’s caught those eyes on him, Emet-Selch’s mouth has been twisted with distaste. It’s irritating and he can’t even put a finger on why. He’s long gotten used to being an acquired taste to most people. But the Ascians look at him…it reminds him too much of something else.

A sleepless night and Junior cannot take it anymore. He stalks to a quiet corner of the Crystarium outside the pendants and leans against the fence. “Emet-Selch,” he says clearly. “I know you’re lurking around here.”

“Oh do you?” And here he comes with his slumped shoulders and casual lope of a walk. He has a glass of wine in one hand and Junior hates how it makes him want to laugh. Emet-Selch is a cliche and knows it for the joke it is.

Junior stays put, watching him until he stops underneath one of the trees. Despite the newly returned night, despite the shadows, his eyes are still so easy to see. Harder is the curl of his lip, the wrinkle to his nose, but they’re there. Junior’s eyes narrow. “What is your issue with me specifically? Not us sundered mortals, but me. I see your looks.”

Emet lifts an eyebrow and then his glass to his mouth. He doesn’t drink, just eyes Junior over its rim. He doesn’t need the additional height to look down at him. “Oh dear, have I offended you, hero?”

“I don’t give a damn if people don’t like me. But you keep saying you want us to prove ourselves to you. How am I to do that if you’ve already decided my worth?” Junior refuses to break his gaze.

“Hmmm, I did say something of the sort, didn’t I?” Emet swirls the wine in his glass. The apt metaphors of blood in the dark flicker through Junior’s mind; another cliche unnecessary to voice. “I suppose you’re working at a disadvantage. Such a shame, but you are doing better than I expected.”

The end of Junior’s tail flicks back and forth. “What makes me lesser than anyone else?”

“You don’t even know?” Emet-Selch scoffs. “Oh Hydaelyn, how cruel of you. How much have you had to rush to repair?”

“Explain it to me then. You like truths,” Junior spits.

Emet-Selch looks at him, lip twisted. “Oh, that I do.” He lifts the glass and takes a long drink of the wine. He’s a nightmare in the dark, blood on his lips. He leans forward as if they’re sharing secrets like lovers in the night. “You’re the back-up plan. Her real chosen was trampled in the mud in the last Calamity. She’s snatched you up to cover the holes in this story, to play surrogate hero until you burn yourself out.”

He lifts his wine and then slowly tips the glass over. It catches the moonlight, a stream of red returning to the earth. “But I’ve seen you, hero. You know you’re no one’s first pick to fight for good.”

If there’s anything he’s skilled at, it’s not letting anyone know they’ve gotten under his skin. Junior tips his head back and sneers right back at the old man. “What’s it say then? That I’ve already ruined more than one of your plans?” He shows his teeth in a viscous mocking smile. “And this one’s already unraveling too.”

Emet-Selch laughs, an unkind sound. “Oh, we’ll see, won’t we?” He turns away, glass between his fingers. “Perhaps all that light will make you worthy of her blessing. Until the morrow, hero.” His free hand lifts and gives a lazy wave.

When his footsteps have faded, Junior slams a metal hand to the fence. It clangs, loudly, filling his ears. He glances after Emet-Selch and then turns and strides the opposite way.

[alovelyburn]

Rambles About the Golden Age Arc Addendum: The Lost Chapter

This is what I was going to post two weeks ago but I ended up rushing the Hill of Swords for Vday instead. So here we go!

I meant to do this months ago, but I’m lazy—uh I mean I didn’t For Some Reason. But after reading about Miura’s thoughts on the Lost Chapter I decided look at it again and, well, the pages were out of order on all the sites. So I tried to track down the correct order and ended up reading about it and blah blah anyway whatever who cares here we go.

Rambles About the Golden Age Arc Addendum – The Lost Chapter

So for those who don’t know (not a lot of people, but hey there may be newbies), the Lost Chapter is the original Berserk Chapter 83, God of the Abyss Part II. It follows directly from the pages where Griffith’s soul or astral form or whatever departs the physical plane and goes forth to become Femto. So okay here’s some of the leadin for context:

Griffith’s spirit departs the physical plane by traveling through a water-like abyss (which is very reminiscent of what’s going on with Guts in the current chapters, I might note). This is actually especially interesting because later in the series Schierke remarks that the ocean supposedly leads to the astral plane - the actual ocean, that is. This one I assume is more of a metaphorical/spiritual ocean.

Anyway, there, he is confronted by the reality of the Sacrifice he chose, and is shocked at the horror of it. This is kind of a sidenote but there is some question as to exactly what he thought would happen when he took that deal, because he doesn’t appear to have known it would be that.

He’s also surprised that he doesn’t feel anything about it. At this point, as Griffith’s last tear falls, an off-panel voice chimes in to explain his lack of emotional response....

“When suffering so profound as to make someone rip himself apart is confronted, a heart is frozen.”

I think I said this way back in Golden Age Rambles 16, but this is one of my favorite (and imo one of the most important) lines as far as Griffith’s character is concerned. Because it suggests that his emotional suppression is at least in part a trauma response - it also confirms that this emotional deadening, which is a result of the trauma response/his confrontation of his suffering, is the reason he doesn’t feel anything - as opposed to it being, for example, because he’s a sociopath. Sigh.

We are given an explanation for the existence of behelits, which Miura later clarified in interviews as being solidified souls whose faces are skewed due to their fragmentation and lack of ... being a person as yet. Love that for them.

Finally, Griiffith encounters...

A pile of flesh that he refers to as God.

And that’s where we transition into the Lost Chapter.

So originally the chapter I am about to discuss was the chapter after this, but when the chapters were collected, Miura had it removed. There’s been some discussion as to why that was, but officially his explanation was that it gave away too much too early and that something as extreme as an on-panel appearance by God should be saved for the end of the series.  He also said that he didn’t like to nail down the limits of the world and wanted to keep things flexible in case he needed to change something.

From there, a lot of discussion has been had about whether the story “counts” or not. My position is basically that it’s fairly safe to assume that this or something like this happened during Griffith’s ascension, because it seems like the main reason he didn’t include it was more because it was too revealing than because he changed his mind. And while he did want to have the option of changing his mind, ultimately nothing he did ever contradicted it, and there were references and minor cameos that seem to confirm it.

So I personally consider it to be pseudo-canon, like broadstrokes canon, but with the understanding that details may be inaccurate. Nonetheless, I also consider it an extremely interesting and informative chapter when one wants to try and unlock the secrets of what the series is trying to say.

So here we go. I’m putting the entire chapter up. The pages are presented in their correct order – most websites post some of the pages out of sequence. It doesn’t really make a huge difference to the meaning, but it does change the flow a little bit. The order that follows is confirmed based on raw scans.

Okay so this is pretty basic – Griffith recognizes this as probably God, and its confirmed. One nitpick I do have is um, literally the NAME “Idea of Evil.”

Normal disclaimers apply - I’m not fluent, correct me if wrong, etc etc I proceed in good faith.

So this is a little weird because it’s another case of the Kanji saying one thing and the furigana saying something else. The name is given as 魔の源形  - something like “the form of the source of malevolence.”  with furigana over 源形 being the katakana for “idea.” So what it’s actually saying is Ma no Idea - fairly translated as Idea of Evil, but what it means is that it is the physical form of the source of malevolence/evil/etc.

...I mean it basically means the same thing, but I think for me when I see 魔の源形 I think of something like the Endless from the Sandman, which follows from some of the later dialogue, because as much as people assume that having “ma” in its name means it is, itself, malevolent it’s more like the spinner of malevolence, which brings me back to the Sandman, because while Dream embodies dreams, he isn’t, himself, a dream. He’s the thing that makes dreams, see what I mean? Well I’ll probably get more into it later.

In the meantime, Idea of Evil is fine but it does seem to be a descriptor rather than a name, and I do find the longer and more awkward translation a bit more useful in understanding what this deity is.

Moving on!

It’s saying “that” is God not “this” is god which I guess sounds nitpicky but for me if it says “this” it’s more up close - I’m the idea of evil, i am god! vibes. Whereas “that,” to me, feels more of a neutral, “the source of evil is god/" kind of vibe.

It’s kind of like the flame/making mistake thing I went on about with Guts before, like it doesn’t change the fact that he’s talking about Casca, but it changes what the fact that he’s talking about Casca means.

One of the interesting things from the twitter festival of Miura quotes was this thing about how the faces that overrun the landscape during the eclipse represent that this is the collective will of humanity. And I’m bringing this up because its the same faces that are visible in the ocean of souls. Its also a similar face to what comes out when the behelit rights itself. So that all tracks.

The most important thing here, though, is this concept of the common consciousness beyond individuality - humanity’s collective consciousness or, as Griffith eventually says, “where they will become one.”

It’s this collective will that is really the most powerful force in Berserk - even IoE serves this will, and it is this will that seemingly reshapes and controls the nature of reality - like splitting the astral from the physical worlds when humans lost their faith in supernatural things.

So I talked about this before, but one thing that I notice people tripping over a lot with the whole “Griffith is the desired savior” thing is that people have a hard time I guess divorcing themselves from assumptions that are rooted in the real world, whereas Miura specifically and explicitly rejected those assumptions within the framework of Berserk’s world.

What I mean is, when people see Griffith – who is a demon with some nasty crimes to his name – presented as humanity’s chosen savior they assume this must be a farce, right? Because how could someone like that be humanity’s chosen one, it must be a big act and hes actually just the fake savior and someone else is the real savior.

The problem with this is that Humanity’s will within Berserk is extremely ambiguous of intent right, like it’ll get into this later, but the great desire of humanity was not to be protected or saved from harm, it was to have reasons for the harm they experience and thus their will gave birth to a God who did not stop their suffering but rather provided a purpose behind their suffering. Similarly when Griffith restores the world to the shape desired by humanity, that world is exponentially more dangerous than the world before his return.

But this isn’t really presented as being awful as such – it’s just the nature of humanity to have dark feelings and to experience and inflict suffering. That doesn’t mean it’s all they do, but it’s a strain that runs through mankind and that duality is what gives rise to someone like Griffith, who encompasses both sides of the species.

Also another reason to bear in mind that IoE isn’t a name - it just makes Griffith’s question make more sense - “why did humans give birth to this will called God” is appropriate because it is the embodiment of the concept of a kind of intent.

Which also creates the ambiguity of “hell.” I keep going back to the archangel/demon lord thing with the Godhand, because it’s not just lipservice, it’s a genuine part of the worldbuilding of Berserk. Griffith looks down at the will of man and says it looks like Hell – he’s shocked that humanity’s will could be so cruel, but at the same time he recognizes that same cruelty inside himself, as well.

And God responds with, some people call it Hell, but it’s just part of the larger whole, and it’s a place that reflects human nature.

As I’ve said before, when Griffith says he feels that evil inside himself, it isn’t Miura telling us he’s a sadistic psychopath who was evil all along, it’s Miura telling us that every human contains the capacity for evil, including Griffith (because he’s human).

I feel like a lot of (western, again) fandom struggles with this stuff (and by struggles I mean doesn’t notice) because we’re so used to... “human” being synonymous with good but you kind of have to shed that to ‘get’ Berserk.

And again, it is IoE that serves the will of man, not the other way around. Or controls destiny to create what humanity desires.

And here’s where I’m going to talk about the Sandman, haha.

I kind of struggled with how to conceptualize the Idea of Evil, because this is a deity born to dispense pain and cruelty, but it does not, itself, appear to be particularly malevolent. It’s just kind of doing its job.

And that’s when I started thinking about the Endless.

This rundown might not be as necessary as it once would have been due tot he Netflix show, but suffice to say Sandman is about Dream, who is the  anthropomorphic personification of dreams, but also the king of dreams, and one of a family of anthropomorphic personifications that each embody, control, and dispense a certain thing. Destiny, Death, Despair, Desire, Delirium, and [omitted for spoilers].

Anyway the thing is, the Endless embody a concept, but they are also created by the need for that concept. As the lore goes, Destiny is the oldest because he is integral to the existence of life. Death came next, because all living things die. Dream was born to give form to dreams. But the thing is, even though they control and create those things, they are not, themselves, those things. Death isn’t dead, she’s the person who collects souls. Dream isn’t a dream, he’s the one who makes dreams. But most significantly, and this is why it sticks in my head as hard as it does, if one of them dies, another incarnation of the same concept appears, because the job of being and dispensing that thing has to be done.

Now, I’m not saying IoE will die, I have no idea, and I’m not saying that if someone stabbed it, another heart or a brain or something would turn up - I’m not even sure IoE can die since it states that the world itself is its body but the point is, cruelty and pain and suffering, those things all existed before IoE did, and in fact it was the existence of those things in a chaotic and pointless state that created IoE to begin with. It came into existence to create meaning and order to what already existed, and to give it a reason for existing.

“It was established that you would be here since a distant past. By influencing the lower levels of human consciousness and merging blood with blood I created the lineage that would give birth to the man you are. To pave the way for the times you would be born in, I manipulated history. and created an appropriate context for you. All the encounters you have had so far were all a part of the destiny that led you here as well.”

Now, going into the Griffith specific stuff. This is has always fascinated me because if you think about it, basically IoE is saying that everything in Berserk to date (and presumably everything that follows) is arranged to create the circumstances under which the specific person that Griffith has been designed to be will make the choice that brings him here.

One of the things I learned in psychology yars and yars ago is about this concept of psychological free will vs. like I guess religious or spiritual free will? Because ok there are multiple was to conceptualize what it means to have free will, right? We have the more standard version: are our lives planned out for is in advance by an outside force (typically a deity), or are we free to do whatever we wish to do? Free will vs. Predestination.

Is there such a thing as being destined to die tomorrow or does whether you die tomorrow or not rest entirely on what you choose to do? And if there is such a thing as being destined to die tomorrow, are there ways to prevent that from happening or is trying to fight it just hubris in the face of powers beyond your comprehension?

But there’s also the psychological concept of free will: given the interaction of your personality and your experiences and your capabilities and this Thing that Happened, is there really more than one thing that you could do, or is it inevitable that you will make the choice that you made because its who you are?

If Person A is rushing to work and comes across someone having a medical emergency on the sidewalk,  is their decision about what to do (stop, ignore it, call 911 and keep going, etc) determined wholly by the kind of person they are, or can they just do whatever? And more to the point, even though there is nothing stopping them from doing any of those things, are they themselves, being who they are, able to do anything other than the thing they end up doing?

Berserk is interesting because its take on fate is something like a combination - the end is set by IoE, but the way you get to that point is by IoE setting up your life in order to shape you into being a person who would make the choices necessary to arrive at that point. Unlike traditional predestination - that greek tragedy stuff - there’s your destiny and fighting it is hubris, because that fate comes for you rather than you necessarily arriving at it - the only thing that makes an endpoint inevitable is how perfectly maneuvered people are so that when you arrive at every crossroad, even if you theoretically could go left or right, because of who you are, there’s really no way you would go anywhere except the way IoE wants you to go.

This is why I often say Griffith was designed to be strong but also designed to shatter when hit in the right spots. He has to be strong to get to where he went, but he also needs to be fragile so that when the time comes, IoE can put the right things in his path to push his specific buttons and get him to do what he has to do. This is one reason I struggle with the idea of blaming Griffith - on one hand there’s the argument that individuals have to take responsibility for their actions regardless of why they’re undertaken. But at the same time, I can’t help thinking... there’s no person in existence who wouldn’t break if they literally had God arranging the entire world into the specific configuration needed to break them.

More than that, though! If you think further into it, it also means Guts was designed to be someone who Griffith would desperately love and then be abandoned by.  And that means Guts’ life was designed to create a person with all these insecurities and strengths and weaknesses that makes him the person he is. It’s all very interesting to me, these questions of free will and predestination.

It does, however, lead me to wondering about the edict he gives Griffith at the end of this chapter.

More on that in a minute!

(boy do I hope that was all coherent)

So, here’s the thing that explicitly curbstomps the idea that Griffith was specifically sent with the rule that he must destroy things and ruin humanity. I mean break it down, right – IoE is a servant of the will of humanity, ergo its desires are humanity’s desires. Griffith, being human, therefore is a part of IoE just as IoE is a part of him, and thus his desires are also IoE’s desires...

お前の行い自体が種としての人間に相応しものになるだろうたとえそれが人々の苦しみてあっても救いであっても。

So that’s the original Japanese line.

Which, as far as I can tell (and anyone better with Japanese than I am please do feel free to correct me, and I’ll fix it) means something like:

“Your actions in themselves will be appropriate to humanity as a species even if it means hardship/pain or rescue/salvation for humanity.”

As a pretty interesting sidenote, the word used for salvation, 救い, specifically references religious salvation. So there you go. Antimessiah/Messiah.

In any case it does put the lie to the idea that Griffith was given the instructions to destroy things or ruin things or make people miserable, like his instructions are literally just “do whatever, and whatever happens will be appropriate.” That said, remember “Your desire is my desire as well.”

I really think Griffith is at his prettiest during this chapter despite being half-formed for most of it. But anyway.

Ever think about what this encounter must mean to him? Half of Griffith’s motivation is the desire to see what he’s capable of and where destiny will lead him.

So okay now we get back to psychological free will. Because obviously Griffith wasn’t sent with the instructions to do a specific thing, just to do whatever he likes with the assurance that whatever he wants is also what IoE wants by the nature of Griffith’s own humanity.

But okay, that does raise the question of whether GRIFFITH has free will (in the psychological sense), right like... at the end of the Eclipse, the other Godhand seem to indicate that they already know how this will turn out – Griffith will bring an age of darkness on the world, at least for a while. Similarly, before he’s even incarnated, Slan is sending priests visions that say he’s going to unite all of humanity into one nation.

So like, inasmuch as the IoE is part of humanity’s will and vice versa, it seems like it knew where this was going even as it told Griffith to do whatever. And this may be difficult and abstract to convey and I hope I can phrase it properly, but what it says to me is something like... Griffith acts freely on his desires, but his desires are in line with IoE’s desires (which are in line with humanity’s desires) specifically because he was designed to be a person who would have those desires. As such he does what he wants, but what he wants to do will inevitably result in ending up where IoE is trying to get, whether he is or is not specifically choosing to try to create that effect... because the outcome of our actions isn’t always what we intended.

And this isn’t me trying to let Griffith off the hook for the age of darkness - I’m not even convinced the age of darkness is a bad thing in the long term. I’m more saying that regardless of what his intentions are, the outcome of his actions will inevitably be in accordance with the destiny woven by IoE and desired by mankind’s collective will... regardless of whether or not that outcome is what he was aiming for.

Sidenote: Griffith chooses his own form, which makes me wonder what was going on with Ubik.

And then he heads into the world at large.The swirling of the ocean of souls echoes his reincarnation at the end of Conviction.

And the end.

Okay so like, what I get from this is basically... Griffith was created to be the person needed to fill the role he’s filling, and God designed the world around creating him (and presumably did the same to create say Void or Slan). Whatever his intentions are, the actions he takes and their outcomes will ultimately align with humanity’s desire, which is also IoE’s desire.  

This is kind of what I mean when, for example, someone suggests that Femto raped Casca in order to create the demon baby that would ultimately become his vessel and I say... I don’t think that’s why FEMTO did it, but it may well be why it was done.

But what really strikes me about this chapter is how it sets the stage for ... the stage that is the Berserk world. What I mean is, and I’ve talked about this before, the way the Godhand behave and especially the way NeoGriffith behaves, is very performative right like they want an outcome and they move things around like pieces on a chessboard and then they do the things needed to nudge humanity in the “right” direction which is something I’m sure to talk about a lot once I get farther into Millennium Falcon. Which isn’t unusual in itself, but because of who and what they are, they can move massive pieces, like... plague outbreaks or the merging of the astral and physical worlds. The Godhand’s manipulation of human history is epic, but then of course their creator goes a step beyond and manipulates centuries or millennia in advance and on a much larger scale. But in the end it’s all the same thing it’s just a matter of degree, and...

It kind of makes sense that Griffith is one of them, because that’s really what he was doing on a human scale even when he was human.

Anyway, that’s it, back to Millennium Falcon next, thank you for listening.

[lamuradex]

40K In 42 Days Update: Week One

@the-wip-project

Started with 20,191. I'm now at 24,331.

So that means I'm 4140 Words in. 10.35%.

I think I might be a little behind a week into the challenge, but I'll catch up. I'm not gonna let myself get too stressed by all this.

For this challenge I'm continuing my latest novel The Madman and The Princess, a comedic crime drama, which features a pair of crooks, Gideon and Madeline, trying to make their way in the world, all the while dealing with bigger criminals who keep trying to cause them trouble.

And, just because I'm bored, I'm going to post the last section I've been working on, where Madeline is part of a heist crew, and she's stuck with the insufferable team hacker while robbing someone's house and disabling the security.

Excerpt below the break

Madeline started looking around the room. A few bookshelves, multiple hard drives, a few processors branded with SuperTech, so they were almost certainly in the right place. No valuables though, which was disappointing.

“So, what I’m doing is, I’m plugging into the system and attacking the Log In Protocols with various programs. One’s that will bypass the password and let us in,” Charles explained.

“Great,” Maddy answered with very little interest.

“I just need to get something into the OS, make it boot up in safe mode, and thus bypass the log in altogether.”

“Grand,” she said with more emphasis.

“And then I’ll be able to-”

“Fantastic!” she interrupted sharply. She was still searching the room by torchlight, but could hear how put out he was. She didn’t care. “Isn’t all the security footage usually stored in a hard drive anyway? Couldn’t we just steal that?”

Charles flapped his lips like she’d just proposed flying out of there. “Are you insane? There could be so many back-ups. And even if not, it’s better to make sure the footage isn’t still on the computer.”

“Then why don’t we just take the whole computer? I���m sure it’s worth something,” she suggested.

“Yes, but I’d love to see you carry it out of here,” Charles shot back.

Maddy glared. “Ever been slapped by a plastic hand, Charles?”

“Pardon?”

“Would you like to be?” She brandished her prosthetic.

Charles grimaced, priming some insult. Likely one concerning dexterity. But Maddy didn’t give him the chance.

“There’s a safe over here, by the way.” She shone her torch at it. No picture to hide this one, it was a black rectangle in the wall with a keypad on it.

“Interesting,” Charles sprang out of his chair. “Let’s see what goodies are in here.” He popped on his headset and got Gloria on the line. “Gloria, I need info on a Hazard Safe 4013, serial number 345-” and Maddy stopped listening. She wandered to the computer, the tablet plugged in and doing… something. Then she paused. A metaphorical bulb came on over her head.

Security’s greatest weakness was always human error, or so Gideon had always taught her. You could walk right in to or out of any building with the right uniform and a confident enough attitude. All it took was a lazy guard who didn’t want to check credentials, or someone who could be intimidated out of doing their job.

And this security room was inside someone's house. Surely, if someone was in here, as they already were, then that meant they’d already beaten the security, right? And from what she knew, Efram Malik was in his forties. He was old. The kind of man who may have forgotten his dog and left it to his staff to manage for the weekend. 

She leaned around the monitor and checked the back. And, while not on the monitor itself, there was a little scrap of yellow paper sticking out from under the mouse mat. It was a post-it note. On it was written “Mailk1985SUPERSTAR!” in messy handwriting.

Without checking with Charles, she typed it in and unlocked the computer.

“I’m in,” she said dramatically.

“What!” Charles looked back.

Maddy got up and didn’t care to explain. “You two got that safe open yet?”

“What? No? How did you-”

“Have you tried powder on the keypad to check for fingerprints. That’s worked for me in the past,” she bold facedly lied.

“I’ll… I’ll get to that computer in a minute. Don’t touch anything else.”

“You sure? I could check the cameras to see where the valuables are?” she suggested.

Charles flapped, stuck between working on the safe and working on the computer.

“Do you want me to work on the safe? You can hack the system or whatever?”

“Um… Yes, that sounds right,” Charles agreed, sounding a little confused at even that decision.

“Then I’ll need your headset, right? Have Gloria walk me through the safe?” She stuck out a hand to accept it.

Charles thought, but clearly couldn’t come up with an argument. He passed over the Bluetooth earpiece and a small bag of tech tools. Maddy clipped on the earpiece.

“…and what do you mean you’re alone with her? Charles? Answer me?” Gloria called.

“Charles can’t come to the phone right now. He wants me to get the safe open while he deals with the cameras and such,” Maddy answered in her best call centre voice.

“What? Why are you on Charles’s phone?”

“I literally just said,” Maddy stated. “Now, how am I getting into this safe. Because I could just take a crowbar to it if it’s easier.”

“No!” Gloria stopped her. “Seriously, Charles wants you to open the safe?”

“He’s very busy,” Maddy brushed her off, temper rising.

“How much do you know about private security?”

“I’m going to say very little.”

“And what about coaxial ports and cables?”

“Even less.”

“And you’re supposed to get a safe open? Oh, honey,” Gloria crooned.

Maddy took a breath, counting to ten in her head. “Look, all you need to do is tell me what bits go where and we can do this. If not, we can wait until Charles is done with the computer. So, what are we doing?”

Gloria sighed. “If I must. Tell me, are there any ports on the front of the safe?”

Maddy looked. “No.”

“No little divots? Little plug sockets? You know what a plug looks like, right?”

Maddy did her best to shoot a scowl down the phone line. “Did you really just ask that?”

“Are there any holes on the front of the safe?” Gloria asked slowly.

“No there are not,” Maddy answered slower. “The front is a clean matt-black with a ten number keypad. There’s a digital display for the numbers but the classic sort like a calculator display. There are no ports of any kind. So, now what?”

Gloria thought a moment. “Can you find any powder in your vicinity? There might still be residue on the buttons.”

Maddy gritted her teeth so hard it hurt.

[cpunkwitch]

we need to stop using the phrase "like a crutch" to mean using something you dont actually need and relying too much on it

a crutch is support, an aid to help you. if someone is using a crutch its for a reason, whether that reason is valid or not is not up to you.

phrases like "your just saying that to use it as a crutch" is ablest bullshit. theyre likely giving a fucking explanation not an excuse to get out of things, and if they are "using it like a crutch" its because thats what its fucking for.

saying "i cant do that, it sets of x thing and makes things harder" is not "i dont wanna do it heres my defense". its not the same thing as literally using a crutch to support your fucking weight while you walk but metaphorically theres similarities, saying i have x condition to explain why i cant do a thing and using a crutch because i cant walk without one, being told im using my condition as an excuse to be lazy is as ablest as taking my 'crutch' and telling me to walk without it.

its wrong.

stop using shit phrases like that. a crutch is a mobility aid not an excuse. phrases like that further stigmatise aids and are just plain ignorant

im sick of hearing it.