#laura reads house of flame and shadow

[fazcinatingblog]

why would you burst into another world and, out of all the things, ask for the Mask? when there's so many other cool things to ask for

[munsonthings86]

we've been celestial even before this

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: after she has a particularly rough day, steve takes his girl stargazing

warnings: cursing, fluff, soft!steve, established relationship (but still fairly new), oversimplified summary, reader depicted to be nineteen, these two being the biggest lovesick idiots for each other

an: i've been having a lot of fun writing about these two. they own my entire heart. hope you guys enjoy this one * don't copy my work *

wc: 6.1k

steve and sunshine's timeline

The trembling flame of the Coffee House scented candle illuminated your messy bedroom in a flickering, warm, honey light. The smell of the candle resembled nothing of coffee, more like hot cocoa or caramel you thought, but it did its job of calming your rattled nerves, nonetheless. Most of your wooden floor was hidden beneath neglected pieces of clothing that you'd pulled from your closet in a hopeless attempt to string together a decent outfit that morning. I'll tidy up tomorrow, you shrugged, though knowing you, there was a high possibility that "tomorrow" would turn into next week.

Procrastination was a terrible habit of yours, and the tension that the day left you with was doing very little to diminish it. Your early morning shift at Family Video was borderline torturous; Keith saw to that when he scheduled you sans Steve and Robin and had two inept new hires shadow you. Sure they were nice and all, from what you can recall anyway, but you were too out of it to bestow on them the patience you typically had.

Once the stint came to its much desired end, a dreadful date at the Indiana Bureau of Motor Vehicles awaited you. In your venture to become more of an independent and responsible "adult" (being merely nineteen, the word made your blood run cold), the goal of obtaining your permit was set in stone. The written test was passed with flying colors, but like any classic BMV nightmare, you'd forgotten a required document to actually get the damn permit.

Nearly plunging to your knees, you begged the grumpy old woman behind the counter to let you run back to your apartment that was “just down the street”. Truthfully, it was a thirty minute trip on foot, but she didn't need to know that. If you ran, you could make it back in twenty.

But, again, like any classic BMV nightmare, all she left you with was a hardly sympathetic, "Sorry ma'am, but if you don't have all the required documents, I'm afraid you'll have to come back tomorrow. The office closes in fifteen minutes." Through clenched teeth, you thanked her for her time, though she neglected to return the gesture, squawking "Next in line!" in a tone that was poles apart from her customer service voice.

Mercifully, your day wasn't all terrible. On the way back home, you stopped by the library to return a week's long overdue book and, instead of crucifying you for it, the lovely librarian recommended a novel she thought you'd appreciate. Rose in Splendor by Laura Parker. Unbeknownst to her, you'd been dying to read it ever since it was published last year. The grouch over at the BMV could definitely take a page out of her book. No pun intended.

Curled into bed and tucked under your beloved ivory crotched blanket, you thumbed along the pages through gravelly, blurry eyes. You kept promising yourself "one more page", but that was well over ten pages ago.

The male love interest was recounted having perfectly tousled brown hair with a body to die for, and you couldn't help but to think of your Steve. You missed him terribly in that moment and the one thing that kept your woe at bay was the anticipation of you two's nightly phone call. It was the selling point of all your days spent without him, truth be told.

The chime of the landline in the hallway between your kitchen and bedroom pierced through the otherwise silence of your apartment, prompting you to glance at the clock on your wall. 9:32 p.m.

Speak of the devil.

Folding a little doggy ear onto the page to preserve your place, the blanket keeping your legs warm was tossed among your strewn out clothes as you nearly slipped, scurrying to answer the phone. You couldn't bite back your smile as you pressed the receiving end against your ear, hearing the music that was Steve's voice, fill your mind.

"Hi, sunshine."

A breath that was unknowingly caged, freed itself at the sound. "You're nearly on time," you teased, referring to earlier today when Steve promised to call you at 9:30 sharp tonight. Usually, he called you earlier than this, but he was jammed with babysitting duties for the six kids you were considering adopting for yourself at this point.

"I know, I'm sorry," he chuckled. "They finally fixed that game at the arcade that's been down for the past few weeks. Gaga, I think it's called."

"Galaga," you corrected, giggling to yourself. It wasn't a rare occurrence whenever the kids would drag you along on one of their many hangouts, so you were rather well-versed in their nerdy recreations. "Yeah, that's the one. I could barely pry their grubby little hands off the thing. Especially Dustin."

Based on his tone, the roll of Steve's eyes as he spoke was nearly audible. As much as he complained about constantly having to be the one to look after the party, there was a part of him that covertly loved the fact that they depended on him so much. Not only was it somewhat of an ego boost, but he's always dreamed of having little nuggets of his own to protect and guide and treasure.

The daydream of Steve being the ideal father, unlike his own dad ever was, reeled your bottom lip between your teeth as the cord of the landline fell into the trap of your twirling fingers. It was so vivid; a shirtless Steve wearing blue jeans that hugged his bottom so perfectly, driving a rackety lawn mower along the wild grass of the front yard to the house you may or may not have pictured the pair of you living in.

In that utopia, the children that you may or may not have pictured parenting with Steve, sat behind the lemonade stand that was built by their father, giggling and toying with a leaky hose as they awaited customers. You'd be watching your little family from the boxy window of the kitchen, fixing them an afternoon snack, unable to contain your laugh when the hose goes haywire, soaking your lover from head to toe.

The imagery made you giggle out loud, head falling against the wall as your stomach cramped. "What?" Steve asked, laughing along with you though it's purely out of instinct, because of course he didn't know what you were laughing about. But hearing your audible delight was contagious. He couldn't help it.

"It's nothing," you assured, smiling softly before continuing, "just hoping your day was better than mine was."

"Well I don't like the sound of that," he frowned, sneakers squeaking against his floor as he shifted his weight onto his other leg. He watched as the days worth of dirt that'd found solace on his shoes, abandon patterned scuffs on the wood. Memories of the pointed sound of his mothers voice demanding no shoes in the house rang through his head like a siren at the sight. He would've ditched his footwear at the door, but he knew he was running late for his phone date.

"What happened?"

Commencing your response with a weary sigh, you shrugged, laughing dryly, "A lot. It's not even funny how exhausted I am right now."

Steve's chest tightened. He hated when you had a bad day; it left a bad taste in his mouth. Even worse, whenever Steve would make an effort to get to the bottom of what ailed his girl, he had a less than impressive success rate, seeing as vulnerability was one of your shortcomings. Steve knew better than to pry. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to do his damnedest to make these final hours of the day your best.

"I'm sorry to hear that, honey," he lowered his head, offering a comforting smile that though you couldn't see, you could hear in his voice. "'S alright," he heard you murmur.

It fell silent for a beat before Steve inquired, "When are you comin' home?", to which you furrowed your eyebrows, letting out a confused chuckle. "Uh, I am home."

Jokingly, the boy scanned his apartment and though he saw some of your forgotten belongings from previous visits, he couldn't seem to pinpoint you. "That's weird, I don't see ya. You hiding somewhere?"

The laugh that erupts from your core at your sappy boyfriend is inescapable. Your shoulders quake as you snicker and Steve's never heard a sound so sweet. Mission accomplished. For now, anyway. "You're an idiot."

"For you, yeah," he retorts, "thought we already established that." The apples of your cheeks are growing sore as Steve's honeyed words denies your smile the chance to falter. Any inconvenience that was precedent to this very moment was long forgotten by virtue of the prince charming that was your boyfriend.

"I'll come see you soon, lover boy," you quipped.

"You makin' fun of me?" He was completely unoffended. Prior to the few weeks of you dating, Steve spent the better part of the past decade containing his cascading love for you behind the dire dam of the friendzone. Despite delay, the dam was broken and there was no playing "Mr. Cool Guy". Steve was crazy about you. And he'd be even crazier to not show it.

"I wouldn't be me if I didn't," you teased. "I'm gonna head to bed, though. I have another shift in the mornin'. That damn Keith," you rolled your eyes, groaning as Steve laughed through his nose.

"Alright, sunshine, I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," you glowed. "G'night, Stevie." You waited for him to respond with a "goodnight" of his own before returning the phone back to its base, already pining for your boyfriend's presence again. Though you poked fun at it, what Steve said about you not being "home" wasn't just him being sappy. You were feeling the same way.

No matter where you were, whether it was school, work, the arcade, shit, you could be in the Upside Down, but as long as Steve was there, you felt at home. It made you reflect on the times where you'd be lying in bed, unable to slip into a slumber as you couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to go home, though geographically, that's exactly where you were. It was because you missed Steve. And any place where he was absent, was no home of yours.

Sauntering back into your bedroom and kicking away garments to clear a path, you cocooned your body into the blanket that was now stained with the scent of your burning candle, and continued from where you left off in your book. You figured you'd make some decent progress to hopefully avoid another late fee at the library.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

It'd been forty minutes later, give or take, when you stood on sore legs, cleansing and moisturizing your face before calling it a night. Your dull eyes wore dark and heavy circles like a hideous skirt, a clear manifestation of the fatigue you were weathering. You rubbed at them unkindly with the hopes of looking even a little more lively, but to no avail.

The bulb of the bathroom went out like a flame once you flicked the switch off, and you abandoned the journey back to your room at the sound of a series of knocks to the front door. Clasping the opening of your robe with shaky hands, you wondered who could be here at this hour. You weren't expecting any visitors. Approaching the door with hushed footsteps, a miniscule view of none other than Steve Harrington could be seen through the peephole of your door.

The tension in your shoulders dissipated, ribs doing their best to cage your fluttering heart. You squealed, fingers fumbling with the lock and you could swear the metal thing had something against you, the way it stalled to unlatch. Steve smiled from the other side of the door as he watched the knob twist and jangle, warmed to know that you were just as eager to see him as he was to see you.

The brown lettering that labeled the white entryway '2F' swung out of view and Steve made eye contact with you for a split second before stumbling back a bit when you threw yourself into him.

Elevating yourself with the tips of your toes to reach him, you trapped his neck between your arms as he returned your hug with one arm, the other remaining properly tucked behind his back. "Hello to you too," he laughed breathlessly before briefly stamping a kiss to your shoulder.

"What're you doing here?" you buzzed, pressing little pecks to as much of his dotted skin as you could. You were suddenly a ball of energy. Finally at home. "When you said later, I thought you meant, like, tomorrow or something."

"Well, I missed you," a kiss to the corner of your mouth, "Wanted to come see ya."

The smile he wore carved thin lines into his cheeks as he spoke, walking your tangled bodies back into the quietude of your apartment. He stopped at your cutesy welcome mat, kicking his shoes off before revealing his arm that held a bouquet of just about the prettiest flowers you'd ever seen.

"Steve," you pouted, releasing your hold on his shoulders, "they're gorgeous." Cradling the peach hued roses dressed in a newspaper-style wrapping paper, your eyebrows scrunched together as you reminded yourself of the time. "What florist is open at 10 p.m.?"

The boy chuckled, locking the door behind him. The plaid pajama pants he wore swung loosely on his legs as he approached you. "There isn't," he ran fingers through his disheveled hair that was long overdue for a trim, "I saw them while I was out with the kids and I thought of you, so I got 'em." He shrugged like it was nothing.

"I was gonna surprise you with them at work tomorrow, but I figured I'd just give 'em to you now, ya' know, all things considered."

Heat rushed to your chest and face as you ogled him, filled with an overwhelming sense of luck to be his. Your feelings toward him felt so immense that at times, you could barely articulate yourself. Words of love and adoration raced through your mind a million miles a second yet you always found yourself terribly speechless.

Steve was so open with his affection for you. It’s a love people pray to experience at least once in their lifetime. And what a heaven-sent gift it was to earn that kind of love from Steve.

These would look perfect by the living room, you thought, turning to the kitchen to retrieve a vase after slipping him a fleeting kiss.

Scouring the white cabinets, you almost failed to remember that you didn't particularly own a vase, given the fact that you'd never actually received flowers before. The realization dejected you a bit.

Steve trailed behind you mindlessly, a frown weighing on his lips as he watched your shoulders droop. Leaning against the space on the counter next to you, he slid down a little, leveling with you, "What's wrong, honey?"

A mumbled, "I've never gotten flowers before," left a pang in his chest, your eyes never leaving the shelves of your cluttered cupboard. "Never needed a vase before."

It was now Steve's turn to slump his shoulders while he gazed at you with sad eyes. How could someone so lovely, so divine as you, not be treated the way you deserved? He would buy you flowers every day if you wanted and he had to bite his tongue when he almost cursed himself for not doing it already. But it's okay. He was here now.

Luring your waist into his body with those burly hands of his, he spoke with assurance laced in his voice, "Well, that's okay," he cooed. "Here, use one of these for now," he pulled a mug that you would've otherwise had trouble reaching, as it sat on the very top shelf, "and tomorrow we'll pick out a nice pretty vase for ya'."

Filling the black cup with water, he planted the roses down as neatly as he could. The flowers sat in the mug awkwardly, all splayed out with the stems way too long for your liking. But somehow, it still managed to be nothing short of perfect. "Cute, a little weird," you shrugged, a smile teasing your mouth, "but cute."

Steve chuckled lowly, situating himself between your legs once you sat on the surface of the tile countertop. "That's funny."

"What is?"

"I said the same about you when I first met you," he laughed, unable to contain his smile before getting the joke out. The face you made didn't help. "Shut up, Harrington," you jab at his shoulder softly, cracking a smile of your own.

Though there was a newfound romance, the typical banter that was mutually exchanged wasn't going anywhere. You were glad that nothing changed between you when you started dating.

Toying with the drawstrings on Steve's Gap hoodie, you began zoning out, the thought of going to bed while cuddled up with your boyfriend, sounding all too alluring. Looking up at him, he was already intently staring at you with painfully adoring eyes and you couldn't help but melt under his heated gaze. "Hi," you muttered, shyness clouding you.

"Hi, sunshine," he smiled, adjusting the collar of your robe with careful fingers. "I'm sorry your day sucked."

"It doesn't, anymore," you replied, sincerely. Steve's eyes lit up at that. It wasn't a secret to anyone that his presence alone seemed to be the antidote for some of your worst days. You'd even admitted it yourself, once or twice. But it never failed to ignite the nerves in Steve's body with fervor.

Although you were completely honest that your mood had gone up about ten octaves since he'd been there, Steve didn't want to just be there. He wanted to do more. It was what you deserved.

"You up for a little adventure?"

"Depends," you squinted. "What kinda adventure are we talking about?" He shifted his weight onto his other leg as his eyes veered off to the ceiling, thinking.

Steve happened to have a few tricks up his sleeve.

"There's somewhere I wanna take you," he drummed a rhythmless beat on your thigh with his fingers. The sneaky expression on Steve's face told you everything you needed to know. He was up to no good. As much as you wanted to go on a late night escapade with your boyfriend, you had to be somewhat, even a little, responsible.

"Steve, it's late and we both have work in the morning," you huffed, losing your grip on the strings you'd been distracting yourself with.

Steve playfully rolled his eyes, flinging his body out of your clutches dramatically. He was going to get you to cave. Whether you already knew it or not. "Alright, grandma, I promise to have you back home at a reasonable hour. Deal?"

The internal battle on whether you should stay or go was evident in your features, though, realistically you had already come to the conclusion that you'd humor him. The "grandma" bit is what really did it for you.

"This is a dumb idea."

"I'll be waiting by the car," he smiled an accomplished smile before leaving the kitchen. Letting out another sharp exhale, you hauled your body off the counter and headed towards your bedroom, discerning that a robe probably wasn't the dress code for wherever it was Steve was taking you.

Concealing your underlying tank top with a hoodie almost similar to Steve's, you threw on some sneakers before snuffing out the diminishing candle. Giving your appearance a once-over in the mirror, you wondered what you'd just gotten yourself into. Though any time with Steve was time well spent, you couldn't help but to look at your bed longingly as you shut off the lights to your apartment, meeting Steve outside.

He stood by the passenger side of the car, fiddling with a loose thread by the end of his sleeve. The fall season brought a night frigid breeze that blew his hair over his eyes like a curtain, making him pout. You hugged your body as you neared him, brushing his brown tresses from his face, though the wind reversed your efforts in no time.

He pressed a kiss to your palm as he became a puddle under your touch, appreciating the way your toasty hand felt against his icy skin. Steve took his own turn rubbing at your arms when he saw you visibly shiver, teeth nearly chattering. "You wanna tell me where we're goin'?" Misty clouds left short-lived trails in the air between the two of you when you spoke.

"Now where's the fun in spoiling the surprise now?" He opened the car door to punctuate his sentence, gesturing you inside. You could only rebut with a roll of your eyes as you entered, though you and Steve both knew you were loving every bit of this. It warmed your heart knowing he was so keen on saving your day from the horror it started it out to be.

Digging through the glove compartment, you sifted through old receipts and other rubbish that really needed to be thrown away, searching for the mixtape you and Steve made for little times like these. Moments that may now seem small, but would soon become memories that you'd cherish for years to come. It served as a little time capsule; hearing the songs you two carefully picked, easily transporting you to these times even when you'd become gray and old.

As Steve began driving off, your fingers found the sneaky cassette that was scribbled with yours and Steve's initials along with doodles of suns, to represent you, and poorly drawn anchors in honor of Steve's Scoop Ahoy era, to represent him.

Regardless of Steve's slight disdain for that period of time, it was one of your favorites and obviously that was due to the fact that the uniform he wore, showed off his legs in the best way possible. It was the perfect eye candy that summer.

The low sound of Bob Marley singing Could You Be Loved floated through the quietness of the car, easing away any tension within you that might've still been trapped. You admired the way the town was so still. The time was hardly 11 p.m., yet there wasn't a soul to be seen; only lonely litter that drifted through the breeze, aimlessly. It was a stark difference from just a few hours ago when you had to dodge shoulders as you cut through the crowded streets on your way home.

The sky was dark and empty apart from the glowing crescent moon that seemed to be chasing you as you drove. It was the only light source you had aside from the street lights that lined the sidewalks. You started counting them and even got to as far as nineteen, but soon lost count once Steve picked up his speed a bit.

Your eyelids threatened to close as the calming drive coupled with the music, fought to lull you to sleep. But instead, bright neon lights stung your sensitive eyes that grew accustomed to the darkness. Squinting, you read the colorful sign labeled "Darling's Diner", and nostalgia strikes you. It had been years. Too many years since you and Steve had been here last.

"Holy shit," you glimmered, hurriedly unbuckling your seatbelt. Steve's hand that found comfort on your thigh during the ride gave it a squeeze before he put the car in park, rushing over to open your car door. He took your hand in his, adoring the way your stunned face gleamed under the glow of the pink and blue neon bulbs. "Surprise," he cheered in a low tone, lightly bumping his shoulder against yours.

The smile you had burned your cheeks but the elation you felt made it all too easy to ignore. The feeling you got whenever you came to Darling's was something indescribable. There were countless fond memories attached to this place and it left you all soft and gooey inside to know that Steve planned on making more with you here. Instinctively, you practically dragged Steve behind you as you rushed inside, the homey scent of burgers, fries, and shakes wafting to your nose.

The floors were still the black and white checkered tiles you remembered them to be; stained with drops of grease and sprinkled with deserted fries. Walls were not much neater, though they were messy with posters and vinyl records instead.

"Want the usual?" Your nod was immediate and shortly after, Steve approached the busy woman impatiently pressing buttons on the register. Wisps of hair fell out of her ponytail and clung onto the film of sweat developing across her forehead. She visibly shrunk into herself as she heard the bell above the door ring, signaling new customers. It was a much busier night than usual.

Regardless of the surge of patrons, the booth you and Steve usually sat in once upon a time, wasn't occupied. The wears and tears corroding the red leather almost served as a name tag, assigning the seat for you two. It was impossible to forget the days Steve came here with you after school, carelessly doing homework while listening to whatever song played on the jukebox.

The table was tidy apart from laminated menus and coloring sheets scattered across the surface. You smirked thinking of the times you and Steve swore you could be the next Picassos, the way you took those things so seriously. As if they'd be hung in museums, you did your best to color them, but not without the added challenge of switching papers with Steve every few minutes. A fun little game you played.

Colored pencils sat by the condiments and you made yourself busy adding hue to the Back to the Future poster, sliding Steve a sheet with some random sports car you didn't know the name of, when he made his way over. He traded you with a cup of hot cocoa with jumbo marshmallows that threatened to abandon ship. "Thanks, Stevie."

"Anytime," he smiled, biting at the cherry that was kissed with a touch of the whipped cream that sat atop of his strawberry milkshake. His long legs brushed against yours as he sat next to you, knees finding mutual rest against each other.

A waitress on pink roller skates offered a kind smile as she brought over a basket of fries that Steve and you snacked on while you chatted and giggled, coloring your own and each other's papers as time seemingly flew by.

"How long has it been since we've last been here?"

"I couldn't tell you. Anything before senior year is such a blur," you responded, adding finishing touches to Steve's car before taking the last sip of your now barely hot, hot chocolate. "I'm just sad we stopped coming here."

"Me too," he swung an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in for an apologetic kiss to your temple. "But I promise to bring you a little more often. It was our spot when we were kids and it'll be our spot now."

You looked at him with bright eyes while hugging his torso, despite the awkward position. Trying to understand what you did to deserve someone like Steve was a dead mission, as you could never fully wrap your head around it. How does one try to understand why they've gotten so lucky?

He kissed away the marshmallow mustache idling on your upper lip before tapping your leg twice, "C'mon, we've got one more stop to make."

The spot he sat in was quickly losing its fever as he stood, holding a hand out for you to take, but you just stared at him with a face that was an odd marriage of scolding and amusement. "Steve," you warned.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, you can yell at me about it later. But I promise you'll love it." Waving his hand to urge yours into his, you accepted it with little hesitation at his grin. You wished the woman at the front a good night as you left the bistro, while Steve dropped a tip in the jar next to her.

He didn't let your hand go until you were sat in the passenger seat, subsequently getting behind the steering wheel, inserting the key in the ignition. You could tell Steve was tired too, the way he full-body stretched as he yawned, rubbing at his eyes that were getting a bit red from fatigue. He wanted to go to bed and cuddle and forget about the world just as much as you did. So why were you still out there?

"What's all this for, Harrington?"

He answered your question with another one of his own, "What's all of what for?"

"Tonight. Everything. The flowers, the diner, and now something else. I'm really grateful for it, don't get me wrong," you warmed his hand when you held it, "but why so much?"

Steve shrugged, averting his gaze to the gear shift sitting between you two. He softly rubbed at your knuckles while he gathered his thoughts.

"Well, you told me that you had a shit day. Just wanted to change that. I like when you're happy."

Your throat felt like it was closing in on itself and your chest stung when tears pricked at your eyes. Steve looked back at you affectionately, the voice of his eyes telling you just how much he cared for you. It made your heart so full. It was too much to handle sometimes.

"I like when you're happy too, Stevie," you beamed, blinking away the pool by your bottom eyelashes. Cupping his cheek, you pushed your plump lips against his that were a little chapped, though you didn't seem to mind at all. Reluctantly, you pull away and Steve doesn't think it was nearly long enough as he sneaks in a few extra pecks.

The drive to wherever on Earth it was that Steve was taking you, was much different compared to the one prior. It almost didn't look like Hawkins. For the past couple miles, Steve's burgundy BMW had been the only car on the road. The trees were taller, a darker green and stronger in numbers than the ones you were used to. The street lamps were less abundant and dimmer than usual, and the animal crossing signs told you that you were more than just a little ways from home.

You had almost said something until Steve pulled off to the side, parking the car on an empty hill just off the road that overlooked Hawkins and the neighboring city. It looked so small from here. Steve smirked at the puzzled expression you threw his way as you removed your seatbelt.

"Before you ask, just come outside. There's something I wanna show you."

You didn't bother waiting for Steve to open the door for you, as you stepped out, attempting to conjure up what he could possibly be wanting to show you out here. There was nothing to be seen but dirt and fallen leaves and branches. "What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?"

"Look up," he responded, leaning against the hood of the car.

Your furrowed eyebrows relaxed as a gasp fell from your lips at the sight of the cloudless sky, lighting up with numerous twinkling stars, an image you could only dream of seeing for yourself since you were a little girl. The mighty city that sat so close to Hawkins fostered light pollution that made it nearly impossible to see the stars at night. If you were lucky, you were only able to make out about one or two, though you weren't sure if they had been stars or planets, instead. Either way, it ignited your soul to be able to see such a bright and beautiful piece of the universe, making you feel so small in the best way possible.

That didn't nearly amount to this very moment though, where there were more stars that you could count, sitting so prettily in the midnight sky.

Mouth still agape, you utter, "Steve, it's beautiful," and other than that, you were rendered speechless. You couldn't dare to tear your eyes from it, worried that if you did, it would all disappear, proving to be a mere hallucination from your tiredness. Steve adored the way you stared at the heavens, noticing the way it was the same way you looked at him. All he could see was a clear reflection of the stars in your eyes, and it perfectly spoke to the way he felt about you.

He saw everything when he looked at you. The sun, the moon, the stars, the universe, even the galaxy. His past, his present, his future. All of it. To him, you encompassed everything beautiful and divine. He was convinced you were too good for this planet. Too extraordinary. How did he get so lucky?

"Look," you pointed at two stars that sat close to one another, shining impossibly brighter than the others, "do you think that's us in another universe?"

Steve smiled at your question, cherishing how whimsical you could be sometimes. Your voice was soft and full of wonder and he couldn't be more content in this moment. "Yeah," he nodded at you, "I'm yours in every universe, sunshine." He kissed the back of your hand, holding your intertwined hands against his chest.

"Y'know I was thinking to myself the other day about how weird relationships are," he stated, looking down at his feet. You peeled your eyes away from the sky, gazing at your boyfriend for the first time since you stepped out of the car. "Weird, how?"

"I don't know, like how you randomly meet someone and get to know them really well and one day just decide, 'I like this human. I'm gonna spend all my time with them and take care of them.' Maybe weird isn't the word, but it's definitely interesting," he rambled, talking with his hands, even the one that was still laced through yours.

You nodded along, understanding where he was coming from. It was something you'd thought about yourself. He continued, "Like, I look at us and how far we've come and it scares me a little 'cause I see how my parents are now. They were best friends before they got married and now I can count on only one hand the amount of times I've seen them hug or kiss. Freaks me out."

This was one of the few times Steve spilled what was weighing on his mind. You could always tell when something bothered him and though he'd give you bits and pieces when you asked what was wrong, it was never anything as nuanced as this. It made you proud to see him develop so much.

"We're not them, Steve. It's like you said, I'm yours in every universe. Maybe they aren't each others every universe," you sighed, "We won't end up like them, I promise"

You always knew how to reassure him. It was one of the things Steve loved so much about you; your way with words. Nothing sort of a poet, he thought. He engulfed your face with his palms, kissing you with every ounce of passion he had.

Lowly in the background, you could hear the song Just the Two of Us by Grover Washington, as the mixtape was still playing in his car. "It's our song," you smiled against his lips when you pulled away. You took his hands from your face, grasping them when you asked him, "Dance with me?"

He nodded, holding your body against his as your head fell against his chest, looking down at the sleeping town that felt so far away. You swayed back and forth, finding comfort in the near silence, listening to the rhythmic beating of Steve's heart. "Thank you for this, Steve," you whispered. "I'm lucky to be yours."

"Even if you weren't, I'd still do it for you," he admitted, running hand across your back, tenderly.

The little sentence made you think. Steve has been in your life for well over a decade now and he never failed to be there for you even when you didn't know how to ask for it. He was the one who took care of you whenever you found it a little difficult to take care of yourself. The one who never dared to leave your side.

You and Steve were in love even before you were. You'd been celestial even before this.

"I love you, sunshine," he murmured, head resting on top of yours.

"I love you back, Stevie."

💌 1 new message from jojo: pls pls pls comment/reblog (or both teehee) if you enjoyed, it means a lot! inbox is open!

[p0orbaby]

Pool house

summary: things take a steamy turn when a night of drinking games makes you jealous

a/n: this was a long time coming

warnings: smut 18+; wanda receiving, fucking outside, oral, fingering, brief nipple sucking, talk of sex, consumption of alcohol, jealous r, tiny mention of pregnancy, is that it? Who knows. Also not proof read cause I’m lazy

word count: 3.2k

-

The summer warmth had dwindled. Replaced with the cool velvety blanket of the night. Embers from the fire pit jumped, creating sparks of light and heat that felt welcome against the goose bumps forming on your skin.

Wanda was sat between your legs. Back against the wooden log you were perched on. Her hair smelt like sea salt shampoo and barbecue smoke. Her skin slick with the excess sunscreen she applied earlier when the sun was at its highest.

There was gentle chatter amongst your friends. Work, kids, future plans all topics that were given attention. Though your mind was elsewhere. Hypnotized by the long licks of flame and the way your fingers were playing with the ring that sat pretty on Wanda’s finger.

You’d proposed a week earlier and Tony decided to use Pepper's impending due date, and the engagement as an excuse for one last hurrah before the baby arrived.

It was fun. Spending time with your friends always was. But there was something about the way the flames danced across Wanda’s exposed skin, casting her in shadows and gold. How she shivered everytime you bent down and whispered honeyed words in her ear. The thrum of alcohol coursing through you that made your body spark each time she pressed herself against you.

“Y/N?” You heard someone question. Your head snaps up to find several pairs of eyes looking at you expectantly. “You want to play?”

You cleared your throat. “Uh, yeah sure. What are we doing?”

“Never have I ever” Clint piped up from the other side of the fire pit. “Apparently it's what you youngins get up to at the weekends”

A groan left your chest in a grumble. Games like this never turned out well. You’d end up drinking way too much just to get out of answering any questions. And having Wanda reveal things about what she had and hadn’t done with other people made jealousy bubble through you uncontrollably.

Wanda must’ve felt your body slump in distaste at the idea, because she turned from her spot below you, lifted an eyebrow and smirked at your lack of poker face. Or more likely at your terrible effort of trying.

“If you really don’t want to play, then we can go inside. But I think it’ll be fun”, Wanda encouraged.

“No, nope, I’ll play, but don’t expect me to enjoy it”

The group hollered uncharacteristically as you grabbed a beer out of the ice bucket next to you and took a long swig. The cold liquid not doing much in the way of quelling your annoyance.

“Right” Tony started with a clap of his hands, “Pep, why don’t you start us off? You better make it a good one”

On the other side of the fire pit, Pepper tapped her chin in thought.

“Never have I ever kissed a friends sibling”

Ooh’s and ahh’s blanket the responses of your friends. Even in the dark you could see Steve blush as Peggy sipped her drink, then told everyone it was all because of a game of spin the bottle in high school. Clint, Tony and their respective partners stayed put, along with Bucky. But to your surprise, both Wanda and Natasha drank.

“Now before you say anything, I didn’t know she was Natasha’s sister”

Hold the phone.

“What? You kissed Natasha’s sister? As in, you and Yelena kissed each other? On the mouth?” You asked aghast. Craning your neck forward to get her to look you in the eyes.

“Now that was a night I’ll never forget” Natasha piped up from beside you.

“Are either of you going to explain? Or will I forever be plagued with the image of my fianc�� sucking face with Yelena every time I see her from now on”

“C’mon Y/N, you can’t be getting jealous already?”

“Leave her alone Clint. I’d want to know if you’d have drank”

“Thank you, Laura. At least someone’s on my side for once”

Wanda swallowed more of her drink, “it was years ago. Natasha dragged me to a club after a bad breakup. I didn’t know who she was until Nat saw me stumble out of a bathroom stall and spotted her sister buttoning her jeans. She ended up pulling Yelena out into the street by her ponytail”

“A bathroom-, Wanda did you sleep with Yelena?”

“Babe, it only happened that one time. I promise”

“Anyway” Natasha said. “You can’t have been that good because she met Kate the next night and they’ve been together since”

“Can we please change the subject? Nat! Whose sibling did you end up kissing then?” You needed something to distract you from the blood rushing past your ears.

“Now that’s for me to know and you to never find out”

You frowned as you looked over at Bucky in confusion. He had his hands raised in surrender and shrugged his shoulders. It told you that that information was reserved for people on a need to know basis, and you knew better than to snoop around Natasha's personal life. Additionally you weren’t exactly in the mood for getting scalped.

“My turn” you announced before anyone else could get in a word. “Never have I ever snuck someone out of the house”

Most of the group drank to that one. Wanda included. Obviously. She turned to look up at you apologetically as the next person took their chance to ask something.

-

You couldn’t pinpoint when, but you’d stopped playing.

Perhaps when truth or dare started. Or when Wanda had to kiss Steve instead of telling the group if you’d done anal together or not. Or when she had to count on two hands how many times she’d fucked somewhere that wasn’t a place of residence.

You didn’t know, but you wanted it to stop.

“I’m going back inside” you voiced to no one in particular. Words slurred and sticky at the back of your throat.

Wanda turns to look up at you, scanning your face and making a call you didn’t expect.

“Actually, I’m pretty tired too, I think I’ll head up with Y/N”

There was something in the way she said it. To the point. Loud enough for everyone to hear. No room for questions.

You could feel an argument brewing.

The group bid their farewells with relative pushback. Each couple waving a lethargic hand and spouting that they’d most likely follow in your footsteps soon. You nodded and smiled forcibly as you got dragged away into the darkness by your fiancé.

There wasn’t a sound between you as you walked. The only noise heard was the tap of your shoes against the ground and the chirp of crickets in the bushes lining the path you both tread.

Why she had taken you back up to the house this way you’d never know. All you wanted to do was go to bed with as little squabbling as possible and go to sleep. But Wanda apparently wanted to take the scenic route, past the tennis courts and up through the pool house. You followed to appease her.

It wasn’t until the reflection of the light dancing over the water didn’t blur in your preifery that you realised you’d stopped.

You looked around confused. Wondering silently why you’d been halted on your journey to a soft plush bed. Chlorine filling your senses. Wanda looking unreadable and red cheeked in front of you as you shuffled slightly on the spot.

“Is this your way of telling me I’m not allowed to sleep in the bed tonight? Because if it is, can you let me say one-“

You were abruptly cut off by Wanda’s lips crashing into yours. She tasted like beer and chewing gum. And as much as you liked where this was presumably going, you had to pull away and regain your bearings slightly.

Her eyes fluttered open, “wait, Wanda,” the soft nudge of your hands on her shoulders didn’t do much to stop her as she closed her eyes again and went to dive back in. You felt awful when you craned your neck back to slow her advances.

“Wanda, stop. Hey, hang on a sec, just-“

“Do you not want to fuck me or something?”

Her question caught you off guard, having you stumble back a little at the force in which she asked it.

“I thought you were upset with me? I, you’re not angry?”

“Not nearly as much as you apparently are. I could practically feel the anger pouring out of you. I thought I was going to have to pull you away when I told everyone my body count”

Even the mention of that made you tense your jaw and pull your hand from her grasp.

“See! You’re angry and it’s totally fine. But I want to make you feel better”

“In the pool house?” You questioned, turning your head to see if there was something in the room that you were missing.

“In the pool house” she repeated, almost laughing when you furrowed your brow further with your growing confusion. Wanda helped you along a little. “Did you notice any of my answers? Like, I don’t know, where I have and haven’t had sex before?”

“If you’re going to rub all that in my face I don’t wanna hear it”

“Y/N, baby. Think about it. Me and you, together, alone…”

You weren’t stupid by any means. And Wanda could easily blame the alcohol in your system for not clocking onto what she was saying sooner.

She practically buckled at the knees when you realised what she meant.

“You wanna fuck in here then, huh? Outside where anyone could see us?” You cooed, arms brushing against her sides, sending shivers down her body.

“I want to answer some truths about you. About us. I’ve never fucked outside. You’d be my first”

“Yeah? Was no one brave enough to take you under the stars?” You mumbled your words against her throat. Breathing in the lingering scent of her perfume as you went.

Her voice caught in her throat, “didn’t let them. Didn’t want them that way”

“Saving the best till last then”

-

You were half naked and sweating. Hair sticking to the back of your neck, dripping down your chest uncomfortably. Not to mention the increasing worry blooming through you that the sun lounger you were on was going to give way.

It was creaking as if it would.

“Wanda, baby, you need to be quiet”

And your fiancé was moaning like she might break too.

Her response was just a guttural groan that she released from deep within her being. A growl, a frustrated roar. It rumbled through the space like thunder on a humid April afternoon. It didn’t help that half of the pool house roof had been retracted back earlier in the day, creating less soundproofing than you’d originally realised.

Outside indeed, you thought as you brought a hand up to cover Wanda’s mouth to quieten her down a little. As much as you loved hearing her produce those noises for you, you’d much rather her keep them to the comfort of your own home. Or at least confined to four walls and not an echoing amphitheater.

“Fuck baby, you’re so wet” you found yourself saying. Fingers slipping out of Wanda’s cunt covered messily in her arousal. Wrist aching with the effort of thrusting in and out of your girlfriend.

The lift of Wanda’s hips was her reply. Making the lounger squeak that little bit more as she used the heels of her feet to encourage you to enter her again. To have her pussy squeeze tightly around your fingers.

“Get on the floor” you instructed suddenly. Abruptly moving your body away from hers, wiping your hand on the soft cotton of your shorts. The other hand pulling at one of her ankles as you went. “I don’t trust this fucking thing”

She looked disoriented. Eyes wild and cheeks dusted pink as her mind caught up to what you were asking her to do. Once the annoyance of you stopping your actions had dissipated enough, she followed suit and clambered clumsily to the floor on wobbly legs.

“Lay down” you ordered, hand reaching out to pull the cushioned lining of the lounger to the floor for some added protection.

Once settled, you found yourself lying on your stomach between her legs. The padded lining not long enough to accommodate you. The cold floor beneath you making you shiver along with Wanda’s fingers tangling in your hair as she swiftly guided you to where she needed you most.

You let mer maneuver you. Working at her relentlessly. Sucking her clit into your mouth with practiced ease. Mixing your saliva with the slick you had already drawn out of her. She tasted perfect and it made you moan against her almost as loud as she was moaning into the stars above your heads.

The way you flatten your tongue against her after swirling it around her bud has her squirming beneath you. It makes you prickle with pride. How you alone can make her feel like this. How Wanda was putty in your hands every time you got yours on her this way.

Though as much as you loved the way she sighed and breathed and moaned in a way of satisfaction, it was starting to make you paranoid about being caught.

“Wanda, you need to keep the noise down”

She was about to protest. Sucking in a breath to steady herself before she answered back to you. But your fingers cut her off as they spread her open then entered her heat again. Curling and prodding the right spots causing her to clamp her thighs around your head.

It was that that made you blissfully ignorant to what was happening outside of the bubble you and Wanda had created in the pool house.

As her orgasm wracked through her loudly, and your ears were muffled by the flesh of Wanda’s legs pressing against them, the two of you were none the wiser to the consequences of Wanda not doing as she was told. Not until a screech of someone behind you aggressively pulled you out of the moment.

You turned as best you could in the position you were in. Body twisting awkwardly as Wanda scrambled around you to try and find a semblance of dignity. Though her crossed arms and legs didn’t really leave anything to the imagination.

“Why am I not surprised?” a humored, raspy voice echoed around the room. Bouncing loudly off of the glass walls. “I told you it wasn’t rabid foxes”

Rabid foxes? Seriously

“Can you guys, I don’t know, fuck off?” You snapped. Knowing full well who it was without even having to look. You lifted onto your elbows to try and give Wanda some sort of privacy. Your body straining with the effort to stay upright. Thankfully you were still half dressed otherwise Natasha and Bucky would’ve seen way more than what they bargained for. Not that they hadn’t already.

Natasha's lips quirked to a smirk, eyeing you both up and down, whilst Bucky at least had the respect to cover his eyes. Stumbling slightly as he lost his footing whilst blind. The blush peaking on the tops of his cheeks telling you he was just as embarrassed about this whole thing as you were.

You turned back to Wanda, hoping to calm her a little. You found her wide eyed and stone still. Well, other than the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest as she fought for breath. In your opinion she looked mortified. She wasn’t a prude, but being caught fucking outside by your friends isn’t something anyone really wanted to tick off their bucket list.

“Now!” You prompted, annoyed. And not seconds later you heard shuffling and giggling as the two of them finally left you and Wanda alone in peace again.

Talk about a boner killer.

“You okay?” You asked, bringing your clean hand up to brush wet hairs out of Wanda’s face.

She nodded. Vacant. You couldn’t tell if she was traumatised or still coming down from her orgasm. Perhaps it was both.

There was a moment when you thought you heard more footsteps. Believing briefly that the Barnes’ had spread the word of your activities and the rest of the group had decided to gawp too. But the second your head spun around to look, Wanda’s fingers found the back of your neck, twisting you back to face her, and kissed you. Hard.

Her tongue was in your mouth before you could even register what was happening. You wouldn’t complain. You never would. But the change of pace gave you whiplash, and you needed a second to find your footing.

“Wanda” you sighed as you pulled back slightly. Just enough to watch her brows crease and her eyelashes flutter under the soft light of the reflected water. “Baby?”

“You don’t wanna kiss me?” She asked softly. Demure. As if she hadn't just been caught getting eaten out on the floor next to the pool.

“Of course I wanna kiss you. Just wanted to check on you first. Promise me you’re okay?”

She nodded and leant in to kiss you again. Softer this time. Full of love and care and everything Wanda rolled into one.

You melted into her. Lifting your body fully off the floor, pulling her with you so she stood too. Slowly leading her back to the lounger, having her perch on your lap. You ignored the creak of old plastic this time.

“You know, I think I like it when you get jealous,” she says. Arms wrapping around your neck to keep you close.

All the air threatened to remove itself from your lungs. You had to squeeze the flesh of her ass to keep yourself grounded. To stop yourself pouncing on her again.

“You do?” You finally choked out. Hoping the effect her words had on you weren’t so obvious.

“Mhm” she hummed. “And guess what?” This time she leant in and whispered softly in your ear. Making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. You swallowed thickly in anticipation. “I liked getting caught too”

Warmth flooded through your body. Electricity igniting the ends of your fingers, all the way to your toes. Ears going red at her confession. And this time you couldn’t hold back. She squealed, all spoiled when you brought your mouth down to suck on the skin of her neck and down her chest. Hummed in pleasure as you wrapped your lips around a hardened nipple and sucked. Shuddered when your fingers ghosted down her abdomen and found her clit. Pinching it, then soothing it with gentle circles.

“You're a menace, truly. I hope you know that”

Your words were said between sucks and licks. Her hips rolled against your in answer. And when your fingers breached her again, her breath caught in the back of her throat. It was only a matter of time before it was released into the air again. Alerting the others to what you were doing like a lighthouse beacon over a dark sea.

But this time you didn’t care. She could scream your name into the sky as loud as she could and you’d carry on.

And the creak of the fucking sun lounger? The splintering of it fell on deaf ears as Wanda grounded down on your hand, spouting profanities at you as your fingers got soaked with her once more.

[libraryleopard]

Favorite books of 2022

In the order I read them

The Accursed Vampire by Madeline McGrane

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark

Not My Problem by Ciara Smyth

Sooner or Later Everything Falls Into the Sea by Sarah Pinsker

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh

Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand

Bad Things Happen Here by Rebecca Barrow

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Supersex: Sexuality, Fantasy, and the Superhero edited by Anna F. Peppard

Spirit Abroad by Zen Cho

From Dust, a Flame by Rebecca Podos

Far Sector by N.K. Jemisin and Jamal Campbell

The Thirty Names of Night by Zeyn Joukhadar

Messy Roots by Laura Gao

The Scapegracers by H.A. Clarke

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta

Stone Fruit by Lee Lai

Lost and Found by Kathryn Schulz

Shadow Life by Hiromi Goto and Ann Xu

The Midnight Girls by Alicia Jasinska

¡Hola Papi! By John Paul Brammer

Seeing Ghosts by Kat Chow

The Empty Grave by Jonathan Stroud

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian

The Sandman vol. 9: The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman and others

The Duke Who Didn’t by Courtney Milan

Black Spring by Alison Croggon

What Souls Are Made Of by Tasha Suri

Spear by Nicola Griffith

Time is a Mother by Ocean Vuong

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

Dark Earth by Rebecca Stott

Honey and Spice by Bolu Babalola

Thrown in the Throat b Benjamin Garcia

A Restless Truth by Freya Marske

A Scatter of Light by Malinda Lo

Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda

The Hurting Kind by Ada Limón

Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle

Sword Stone Table edited by Swapna Krishna and Jenn Northington

R E D by Chase Berggrun

[enjolrasisafeminist]

books read - 2022

here is my long long post cataloguing the books i’ve read this year! 

30 📖

italics - reread

the darkness outside us - eliot schrefer

dec. 29 2021 - jan. 1 2022

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

aurora rising (the aurora cycle #1) - amie kaufman & jay kristoff

jan. 6 - 8

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

aurora burning (the aurora cycle #2) - amie kaufman & jay kristoff

jan. 9 - 26

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

aurora's end (the aurora cycle #3) - amie kaufman & jay kristoff

jan. 26 - 30

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

a court of mist and fury (a court of thorns and roses #2) - sarah j. maas

feb. 6 - apr. 9

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

a court of wings and ruin (a court of thorns and roses #3) - sarah j. maas

apr. 10 - 15

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

a court of frost and starlight (a court of thorns and roses #4) - sarah j. maas

apr. 14

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

a court of silver flames (a court of thorns and roses #5) - sarah j. maas

apr. 15 - 28

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

the love insterest - cale dietrich

apr. 29 - 30

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

pestilence - laura thalassa

may. 26 - 28

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

a dance with the fae prince (married to magic #2) - elise kova

may. 29 - june 8

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

claimed by the orc prince (the orc prince trilogy #1) - lionel hart

june 8 - 10

⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

house of sky and breath (crescent city #2) - sarah j. maas

apr. 28 - june 13

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories (the folk of the air #3.5) - holly black

june 14 - 16

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

nimona - n.d. stevenson

june 17

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

heir of fire (throne of glass #3) - sarah j. maas

dec. 7 2021 - june 25 2022

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

our violent ends (these violent delights #2) - chloe gong

june 19 - july 1

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

iron widow (iron widow #1) - xiran jay zhao

july 1 - 3

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ice planet barbarians (ice planet barbarians #1) - ruby dixon

july 7 - 16

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

soul eater (monstrous #1) - lily mayne

july 6 - 16

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

barbarian alien (ice planet barbarians #2) - ruby dixon

july 20

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

barbarian lover (ice planet barbarians #3) - ruby dixon

july 23 - 25

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

enthralled (the spider’s mate #2) - tiffany roberts

july 23 - 28

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

bound (the spider’s mate #3) - tiffany roberts

july 29 - aug. 13

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

choosing theo (clecanian #1) - victoria aveline

aug. 13 - 14

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

freeing luka (clecanian #2) - victoria aveline 

sep. 8 - 15

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

heartless - marissa meyer

sep. 27 - 30

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

barbarian mine (ice planet barbarians #4) - ruby dixon

nov. 1 - 7

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

red rising (red rising #1) - pierce brown

nov. 14 - 22

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

queen of shadows (throne of glass #4) - sarah j. maas

aug. 15 - nov. 28

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[critical-quoter]

November Books

(Woohoo! The year is coming to a close and I blew my reading goal out of the water months ago.)

House of Sky and Breath - Sarah J. Maas ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Devil You Know - Veronica Eden ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Heir of Broken Fate - Mads Rafferty ⭐⭐⭐ The Devil's Kiss - Gemma James ⭐⭐ Of Mist and Shadow - Jenna Wolfhart ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Of Ash and Embers - Jenna Wolfhart ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Of Night and Chaos - Jenna Wolfhart ⭐⭐⭐ A Veil of Truth and Trickery - Analeigh Ford ⭐⭐⭐ A Veil of Stardust and Savagery - Analeigh Ford ⭐⭐ Don't Kiss the Bride - Carian Cole ⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Fall of Us - Kennedy Fox ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Lose Me - M. C. Frank ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Save Me - M. C. Frank ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ A Little Wilder - Serena Bell ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Double D Ranch - Rochelle Bradley ⭐⭐⭐ Iron Flame - Rebecca Yarros ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Made and Marred - Samantha Goode ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Irish - Brittanee Nicole ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Cruel Prince - Holly Black ⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Wicked King - Holly Black ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Queen of Nothing - Holly Black ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Chasing Love - Kat T. Mason ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Chasing Us - Kat T. Mason ⭐⭐ The Last Storm - J. D. Linton ⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Last Draig - J. D. Linton ⭐⭐⭐⭐ When You Were Mine - Cindy Tanner ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Ends of Being - Mercyann Summers ⭐⭐⭐⭐ What Doesn't Kill Us - Mercyann Summers ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Flowers for the Devil - Vlad Kahany ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Fate Calls the Elf Queen - J. M. Kearl ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Brooklyn Cupid - Lexi Ray ⭐⭐⭐⭐ The Crown the Fae Forgot - Eden Beck ⭐⭐ A Court of Dragons and Vows - G. Bailey ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Carnage - Shantel Tessier ⭐⭐⭐ Court of Ravens and Ruin - Eliza Raine ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Court of Greed and Gold - Eliza Raine ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Court of Monsters and Malice - Eliza Raine ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Court of Serpents and Secrets - Eliza Raine ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Between Love and Loathing - Shain Rose ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I Always Did - Evangeline Williams ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Love and Tequila Make Her Crazy - Brittanee Nicole ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Heir of Monsters - G. Bailey ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Possession of Monsters - G. Bailey ⭐⭐⭐ The Grand Pact - J. C. Hawke ⭐⭐⭐ Heart of a Monster - Shain Rose ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Love of a Queen - Shain Rose ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Moonlit Temptation - Penelope Black ⭐⭐ Pour Judgement - Heather Orgeron ⭐⭐⭐ Reign of the Dragon Queen - Cadence Connor ⭐⭐ Whispers of You - Catherine Cowles ⭐⭐⭐⭐ It Figures - Melody Tyden ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Figuring It Out - Melody Tyden ⭐⭐⭐⭐ A Court of Thorns and Roses (Dramatized Adaptation) - Sarah J. Maas (Graphic Audio) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Wood You Rather? - Daphne Elliot ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Off to the Races - Elsie Silver ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Echoes of You - Catherine Cowles ⭐⭐⭐⭐ A Court of Mist and Fury (Dramatized Adaptation) - Sarah J. Maas (Graphic Audio) ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Hopeless Romantic - Julie Capulet ⭐⭐ Beloved - Corinne Michaels ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Beholden - Corinne Michaels ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Watercolor Skulls - L. M. Terry ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Cracked Foundation - Bex Dawn ⭐⭐⭐ Lotus - Jennifer Hartmann ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Truly Madly Deeply Mine - Katherine Jay ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Two-Date Warning - M. L. Chambers ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Cordially Hexed - Lyra Winters ⭐ Under the Stars - Laura Pavlov ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 67 total books read in November.

[foreverlostinliterature]

11/23-11/29 Book Deals!

Good morning and a happy Tuesday (through Monday!) to you all! Today there are a ton of really awesome books on sale today, a lot of which are 2021 releases, which is actually pretty cool! As far as I can tell, these deals last until 11/29, so feel free to take your time if you need to decide and/or peruse. How are you all doing?? How are things going? Can you believe we’re in the second half of November already? It’s been a rough year and month and just, everything, but I’m glad we’ve been able to get through it all together so far. 

Today’s a tough day for me for personal reasons, so I’m trying to keep myself busy and book deals helps with that a lot, so here we are! :) The Shadow of What Was Lost is an amazing fantasy (and the entire trilogy is out, so no waiting!), Ariadne is a beautiful retelling, there’s even some Silvia Moreno-Garcia on sale! :O Honestly, there’s just a huge variety so if you needing to stock up on some reading material, I recommend you have a look through because hopefully there’s a little something for everyone.

Anyway, I hope you all have a truly wonderful day and week, and happy reading to all! :)

Today’s Deals:

Razorblade Tears by S.A. Cosby - https://amzn.to/3HIVD6J

A Desolation Called Peace by Arkady Martine - https://amzn.to/3l1t9LD

Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley - https://amzn.to/3r3dT4B

A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas - https://amzn.to/3oRdcZz

After Dunkirk by Lee Jackson - https://amzn.to/3xgc9Ga

Harrow the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir - https://amzn.to/3l4lFr7

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab - https://amzn.to/3CKmYSa

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett - https://amzn.to/3cEhuOn

The Shadow of What Was Lost by James Islington - https://amzn.to/3CF4anr

The Survivors by Jane Harper - https://amzn.to/3nKSifj

Ariadne by Jennifer Saint -  https://amzn.to/3DLhWGv

Children of Virtue and Vengeance by Tomi Adeyemi - https://amzn.to/3DNW2lE

Fox & I: An Uncommon Friendship by Catherine Raven - https://amzn.to/3xgBDTR

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland - https://amzn.to/3nKSNGd

We Could Be Heroes by Mike Chen - https://amzn.to/3nJXlN9

Never Fade by Alexandra Bracken - https://amzn.to/3nMafde

Some Girls Do by Jennifer Dugan - https://amzn.to/3nKT389

The Wrath and the Dawn by Renee Ahdieh - https://amzn.to/3r41M7y

They Wish They Were Us by Jessica Goodman - https://amzn.to/30ZuhbE

The Beautiful Ones by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - https://amzn.to/3CFUAjX

Gods of Jade and Shadow by Silvia Moreno-Garcia - https://amzn.to/3xhwNWx

Dragonfly Falling by Adrian Tchaikovsky - https://amzn.to/3DSAZyI

Land of Big Numbers by Te-Ping Chen - https://amzn.to/3CKx8lP

Into the Afterlight (A Darkest Minds Novel) by Alexandra Bracken - https://amzn.to/3oX8zwW

Her Last Flight by Beatriz Williams - https://amzn.to/3DKGAXF

Dead Mountain: The Untold True Story of the Dyatlov Pass Incident by Donnie Eichar - https://amzn.to/2ZgvhHL

Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe by Robert Lanza & Bob Berman - https://amzn.to/3nJXVuj

The Woman Before Wallis: A Novel of Windsors, Vanderbilts, and Royal Scandal by Bryn Turnbull - https://amzn.to/3cGzK9D

The Boys' Club by Erica Katz - https://amzn.to/3cHVW3a

What's Done in Darkness by Laura McHugh - https://amzn.to/3DLjkZJ

Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay - https://amzn.to/3nKly60

Luck of the Titanic by Stacey Lee - https://amzn.to/3xomvEg

The Watchmaker of Filigree Street by Natasha Pulley - https://amzn.to/3DKBeLW

The Reign of Wolf 21: The Saga of Yellowstone's Legendary Druid Pack by Rick McIntyre & Mark Bekoff - https://amzn.to/30WrVdN

Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come by Jessica Pan - https://amzn.to/3DSBuZC

Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart - https://amzn.to/3xiaaBb

The Killer's Shadow: The FBI's Hunt for a White Supremacist Serial Killer by John E. Douglas & Mark Olshaker - https://amzn.to/3DSBw3G

The Whispering House by Elizabeth Brooks  - https://amzn.to/30TkQdn

Avatar: The Last Airbender--The Search Omnibus by Gene Luen Yang & Gurihiru - https://amzn.to/3nIpmVa

This is Not the Jess Show by Anna Carey - https://amzn.to/3DMyz4w

The Serpent King by Jeff Zentner - https://amzn.to/3nJYowz

NOTE:  I am categorizing these book deals posts under the tag #bookdeals, so if you don’t want to see them then just block that tag and you should be good. I am an Amazon affiliate and will receive a small (but very much needed!)  commission on any purchase made through these links. If you’d rather shop at other bookstores, I am also a Bookshop.org and Indiebound affiliate! :)

[sherbetlemonsandshuriken]

2021 Reading

It is September 2021, and these are all the books that I've read in 2021 so far. My aim was to read 30 new books; between being unemployed for nearly four months, and then getting a decent salary increase in my new job, I've currently read 57 new books, plus about fifteen re-reads. (Oops).

1. Alt-Right: From 4-chan to the White House - Mike Wendling

2. Bullshit Jobs: The Rise of Pointless Work and What We Can Do About It - David Graeber

3. Can the Left Learn To Meme?: Adorno, Video Gaming and Stranger Things - Mike Watson

4. The Dispossessed - Ursula K. Le Guin

5. Seven Devils - Laura Lam and Elizabeth May

6. We Are Bellingcat: An Intelligence Agency for the People - Eliot Higgins

7. The Way of Kings - Brandon Sanderson (pt.2)

8. Invitation to a Bonfire - Adrienne Celt

9. King of Scars - Leigh Bardugo

10. Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson (pt.1 & 2)

12. The New Authoritarianism - Salvatore Babones

13. Kill All Normies: Online Culture Wars from 4chan and Tumblr to Trump and the Alt-Right - Angela Nagle

14. How Democracies Die - Daniel Ziblatt & Steven Levitsky

15. In Search of Kazakhstan: The Land That Disappeared - Christopher Robbins

16. After The Fact: The Truth About Fake News - Marcus Gilroy-Ware

17. Six of Crows - Leigh Bardugo

18. Once Upon A River - Diane Setterfield

19. The Far Right Today - Cas Mudde

20. Foucault's Pendulum - Umberto Eco

21. A Revolution Undone: Egypt's Road Beyond Revolt - H.A. Hellyer

22. Our Women on the Ground - Zahra Hankir

23. She Said - Jodi Kantor and Megan Twohey

24. We Need New Stories - Nesrine Malik

25. Celestial Bodies - Jokha Alharthi

26. Crooked Kingdom - Leigh Bardugo

27. Lore - Alexandra Bracken

28. Shadow and Bone - Leigh Bardugo

29. Siege and Storm - Leigh Bardugo

30. Ruin and Rising - Leigh Bardugo

31. Angloarabia: Why Gulf Wealth Matters to Britain - David Wearing

32. Propaganda Blitz - David Edwards and David Cromwell

33. Why Nations Fail - Daron Acemoglu

34. Rule of Wolves - Leigh Bardugo

35. We Hunt The Flame - Hafsah Faizal

36. This Is How They Tell Me The World Ends - Nicole Perlroth

37. Culture Warlords - Talia Lavin

38. Fascism and Dictatorship - Nicos Poulantzas

39. Oathbringer - Brandon Sanderson (pt. 1 & 2)

41. Merchants of Hate - Jack Jardel

42. Vox - Christina Dalcher

43. Lean Out - Dawn Foster

44. Hamnet - Maggie O'Farrell

45. Strange Hate - Keith Kahn-Harris

46. The Fifth Season - N.K. Jemsin

47. The Obelisk Gate - N.K. Jemsin

48. The Doctor Who Fooled The World - Brian Deer

49. Drums in the Distance - Joe Mulhall

50. The Stone Sky - N.K. Jemsin

51. Algorithms of Oppression - Safiya Umoja Noble

52. The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon

53. The Age of Surveillance Capitalism - Shoshanna Zuboff

54. The Cruel Prince - Holly Black

55. The Wrath and the Dawn - Renee Ahdieh

56. The Ballard of Songbirds and Snakes - Suzanne Collins

57. The Three-Body Problem - Liu Cixin

[midnighttaylors]

books read in 2021

1. these violent delights by chloe gong (Jan 2)

2. you should see me in a crown by leah johnson (Jan 3)

3. cemetery boys by aiden thomas (reread) (Jan 3)

4. with the fire on high by elizabeth acevedo (Jan 3-Jan 4)

5. girl, serpent, thorn by melissa bashardoust (Jan 4)

6. the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (Jan 8)

7. i love you so mochi by sarah kuhn (Jan 10)

8. late to the party by kelly quindlen (Jan 20)

9. the song of achilles by madeline miller (reread) (Jan 23)

10. red, white and royal blue by casey mcquiston (reread) (Jan 24)

11. clap when you land by elizabeth acevedo (Jan 26)

12. the poet x by elizabeth acevedo (Jan 27)

13. the meet-cute project by rhiannon richardson (Jan 31-Feb 2)

14. if we were villains by m.l. rio (Feb 2-Feb 5)

15. yesterday is history by kosko jackson (Feb 4-Feb 5)

16. daisy jones and the six by taylor jenkins reid (Feb 18-Feb 19)

17. honey girl by morgan rogers (Feb 23)

18. you have a match by emma lord (Feb 24)

19. cinderella is dead by kalynn bayron (Feb 25-Feb 26)

20. a cuban girl’s guide to tea and tomorrow by laura taylor namey (Feb 26)

21. perfect on paper by sophie gonzalez (March 11)

22. the great gatsby by f. scott fitzgerald (March 21)

23. lost in the never woods by aiden thomas (March 23)

24. macbeth by william shakespeare (March 29)

25. a phở love story by loan le (April 7-April 8)

26. six of crows by leigh bardugo (April 11-April 13)

27. crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo (April 13)

28. shadow and bone by leigh bardugo (April 20)

29. siege and storm by leigh bardugo (April 21)

30. ruin and rising by leigh bardugo (April 21)

31. counting down with you by tashie bhuiyan (May 13)

32. we hunt the flame by hafsah faizal (May 15)

33. legendborn by tracy deonn (May 18-May 19)

34. hani and ishu’s guide to fake dating by adiba jaigirdar (May 25)

35. she drives me crazy by kelly quindlen (May 25)

36. not my problem by ciara smyth (May 25)

37. one last stop by casey mcquiston (June 3)

38. a dark and hollow star by ashley shuttleworth (June 4-June 6)

39. le petit prince by antoine de saint-exupéry (reread) (June 13-June 14)

40. daisy jones and the six by taylor jenkins reid (reread) (July 18-July 22)

41. the raven boys by maggie stiefvater (August 15)

42. the dream thieves by maggie stiefvater (August 16)

43. blue lily, lily blue by maggie stiefvater (August 17)

44. the raven king by maggie stiefvater (August 18)

45. the dead and the dark by courtney gould (September 1)

46. blackout by multiple authors (anthology) (September 9-September 10)

47. get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert (September 12-September 13)

48. take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert (September 13)

49. act your age, eve brown by talia hibbert (September 14)

50. throttled by lauren asher (September 15-September 17)

51. the deal by elle kennedy (September 20)

52. the mistake by elle kennedy (September 21)

53. the score by elle kennedy (September 22)

54. the perfect first by maya hughes (September 23)

55. malibu rising by taylor jenkins reid (September 25)

56. the wall of winnipeg and me by mariana zapata (September 28)

57. a lesson in vengeance by victoria lee (October 1-October 2)

58. mexican gothic by silvia moreno-garcia (October 5-October 6)

59. a good girl’s guide to murder by holly jackson (October 7)

60. good girl, bad blood by holly jackson (October 7)

61. one of us is lying by karen m. mcmanus (reread) (October 9)

62. house of hollow by krystal sutherland (October 10-October 11)

63. legendborn by tracy deonn (reread) (October 13-October 14)

64. the fine print by lauren asher (October 15)

65. the kiss quotient by helen hoang (October 16)

66. change on the fly by maren moore (October 16)

67. the heart principle by helen hoang (October 17)

68. spoiler alert by olivia dade (October 17)

69. the bride test by helen hoang (October 17-October 18)

70. it happened one summer by tessa bailey (October 18-October 19)

71. a lot like adíos by alexis daria (October 20)

72. marriage for one by ella maise (October 20)

73. to love jason thorn by ella maise (October 21)

74. the spanish love deception by elena armas (October 22)

75. the cheat sheet by sarah adams (October 25)

76. the gilded wolves by roshani chokshi (October 26-October 27)

77. the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid (reread) (October 27)

78. the locker room by meghan quinn (October 30-October 31)

79. the chase by elle kennedy (November 1)

80. sick kids in love by hannah moskowitz (November 1)

81. the dating playbook by farrah rochon (November 2)

82. twisted love by ana huang (November 5)

83. the love hypothesis by ali hazelwood (November 8)

84. secret puck by rebecca jenshak (November 8-November 10)

85. bad boys break hearts by micalea smeltzer (November 14)

86. all lined up by cora carmack (November 15)

87. nice guys don’t win by micalea smeltzer (November 15)

88. real players never lose by micalea smeltzer (November 16-November 17)

89. our violent ends by chloe gong (November 17)

90. good guys don’t lie by micalea smeltzer (November 17)

91. the deal by elle kennedy (reread) (November 18)

92. the third best thing by maya hughes (November 18-November 19)

93. i dare you by ilsa madden-mills (November 19)

94. the relationship pact by adriana locke (November 19)

95. kulti by mariana zapata (November 20)

96. wait for it by mariana zapata (November 21)

97. hands down by mariana zapata (November 22)

98. from lukov with love by mariana zapata (November 22)

99. the wall of winnipeg and me by mariana zapata (reread) (November 23-November 24)

100. luna and the lie by mariana zapata (November 24-November 25)

101. rock hard by nalini singh (November 26)

102. the billionaire’s wake-up-call girl by annika martin (November 27)

103. the fling by m. robinson (November 28)

104. the sweetest oblivion by danielle lori (November 29-November 30)

105. all rhodes lead here by mariana zapata (December 3-December 4)

106. the best thing by mariana zapata (December 4)

107. l’homme qui plantait des arbres by jean giono (December 10)

108. the hill we climb by amanda gorman (December 30)

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Heya, Laura! Is the scary house prompt taken yet? If it isn't, could you possibly write something with Magna for it? Preferably with a female reader that isn't scared but Magna is? No pressure to do it, you can delete this request if too many come flooding in. I want you to take care of yourself. Sorry for all the Magna asks, I should really switch it up at some point. Love you! <3

Nope, the scary house -prompt is all yours 😁🥰 Will free to ask ALL the Magna you want (and I’ll pay you back with ALL the Fuego asks 😉) 

I tried to make this with a slightly comical twist, but as comedy isn’t my fortè, I’m not quite sure of the results 😅 Hopefully you’ll enjoy 🤗

You were assigned on a mission with your beloved Magna. There had been a small gang of misfits giving trouble to a small rural village, nothing too serious, but Magna had felt a strong urge to be assigned to this mission given the town he came from. Yami hadn’t seen any reason to oppose it, as long as you were with him and would keep him in check, since Luck had a habit of riling him up and vice versa.  Not that you minded, because this was a perfect opportunity to spend some alone time with him, while doing your job of course. It had been suspected that the meddlesome gang was staying in an abandoned house outside of the village, so that was the first place you headed to.

You landed next to the structure that must have been the building mentioned in the reports. It was old, grey, and wind made it creek ominously. The sun was already about to set, but as it wasn’t quite dark yet, you could still check it out at least for any signs of residency. Judging from outside, the house seemed empty as there was no signs of camp fires or smoke rising from the chimney, no footsteps on the soft ground before the front door, or light coming from the windows. Though the windows were coated with a thick layer of dust and dirt, making them see grey and allowing shadows to play on the surface on the glass.

“Come on Magna,” you chirped as you started walking towards the door determinedly. “D-don’t you think it’d be b-better to come back tomorrow? When it’s light,” he stammered, looking at the house. “There’s still plenty of light for some time. If we just do a quick sweep to see if there’s any signs of people actually staying there before taking any big actions.” You turned around to look at him, seeing that he was farther than you expected, but taking hesitant steps towards you and nodding to your statement as he did so. “Are you okay?” You asked slightly concerned, but your worry only fuelled him, turning his attitude around.

“Of course! I, am, a real man!” he exclaimed and marched onto the door, almost pulling it off its hinges as he opened it. But his enthusiasm died down as he looked down the dusty corridor, decorated with cobwebs. There was no signs of disturbance on the floor, but it was always possible that there was a backdoor or alike, so it would still be worth to inspect the perimeter.

Magna stood still in the doorway, but as you popped your head over his shoulder, he started marching forward. His steps were loud and heavy, making the dust fill the air around him, and letting any possible squatters know that you were there. You could only sigh and tilt your head at his behaviour, your brows furrowing as you thought very quietly somewhere in the back of your head about how on earth you fell in love with this fool of a boyfriend.

“Listen all you ghosts! You better make yourselves known before I come there and kick all of your asses!” he yelled in the empty corridor. “Don’t you mean squatters?” You inquired, walking after him, the slight frown still prominent on your face. “Yes! That’s what I said.” He turned his head to you, his entire body trembling before you. Your eyes travelled up and down his shaking form. “You know, if you want I can take the lea-“ “No!” he cut you off, “I am a man, a real man, and I am not letting my baby walk straight into the face of danger.” You only lifted an eyebrow at him, looking him straight into the eye. “Magna… they’re probably just some kids messing about,” you said calmly as you had read the reports and knew that the type of behaviour, even if troublesome, was most often caused by a bunch of teenagers who had nothing better to do than mess around.

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I can sense something evil in this house,” he said while wiggling his fingers. You almost choked while trying to contain your laughter. “So.. *muffled snicker* you want me to stay here?” you asked, trying to sound serious. He turned back around, “yes, you stay here and I’ll inspect the house.” His statement was firm, conflicting with his shaking knees. “But what if a malicious ghost comes around and snatches me?” you asked batting your eyelashes, your tone sweet and innocent. He blinked, gears visibly turning in his head, and marched to you, taking your hand and pulling you with him. “No need to fear baby. I’ll protect you.” He stated, forgetting about his own fears for a split second, but as soon as he started pulling you deeper into the house, you felt his hand starting to tremble in yours.

Each time there was a creek of the floor under you, or an open window slamming against the side of the house, he squeezed you hand tightly. You figured that it was more for his own security than yours. But whether it was him making sure that you were still there and alright, or if it was him finding comfort from your presence, it warmed your heart all the same. You made your way onto the highest floor of the house, there still being no signs of squatters, his hand still clutching onto yours with white knuckles.

You turned around a corner when he screamed and pushed you behind his back and against a wall, hurling a ball of fire towards something. You thumped against the wall, dust whirling around you, making you cough. As your head started grasping your body again after the brief shock, you saw a pair of burning curtains fluttering in the wind. You pushed him aside and rushed to extinguish the flames, not wanting to set fire to the entire house.

Once the curtains were nothing more than a smoking pile of fabric under your boots, you looked at him, raising an eyebrow and crossing your arms. He scratched the back of his head, looking sheepishly to the floor and kicking some of the dust at his feet. “I’m sorry baby…” he mumbled with his form shrinking before you. Your expression softened, and it wasn’t as if you could scold him for trying to protect you. He was trying his best and you knew it, so you walked over to him, wrapping him in your arms. “It’s okay. Thank you for protecting me from an evil specter.” You grinned, your words making him sigh in relief as he wrapped his arms around you in return. “Always,” he said, his body not shaking anymore.  

[fazcinatingblog]

i don't remember who tharion is

[adowryofblood]

2021 Books I'm Excited For The Most, A List In No Particular Order:

Contains spoilers

1. Girls of Fate and Fury by Natasha Ngan: After that ending on Girls of Storm and Shadow, how can you not be counting the seconds until you find out what happens? The original release date was going to be december this year, but it got pushed back :(

2. The Sequel to Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo: All I want from this book is for Darlington to be alive and safe. I will not settle for less.

3. Chain of Iron by Cassandra Clare: Jordelia's fake engagement? The gracelet? Lucie doing necromancy? Ariadne going to win Anna back? Cortana BURNS Cordelia's hands??? That summary got me HYPED UP.

4. A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas: Love or hate Nesta, she deserves her book so that she can develop and process her feelings and hopefully heal. Also, I've been wanting a book about the Ilyrian camps for SO! LONG!

5. She's Too Pretty to Burn by Wendy Heard: Dorian Gray but make it wlw? Sign me the fuck up.

6. The Nobleman's Guide to Scandal and Shipwreck by Mackenzie Lee: I haven't even finished reading book #2 but I already can't wait for book #3. Spoiled myself reading the summary but damn... how did we get there??

7. Realm Breaker by Victoria Aveyard: I know a lot of people didn't like Red Queen, butI really don't know why. I loved it. So I'm very excited to see what she comes up with next.

8. Castles in Their Bones by Laura Sebastian: After reading Ash Princess Laura Sebastian became a must read author for me. She's the best at writing the second books of trilogies (Lady Smoke was the perfect sequel and Ember Queen didn't disappoint) and I just love all of her ideas.

9. Small Favors by Erin A. Craig: Again, a new must read author for me. House of Salt and Sorrows was a 10/10 book for me and the summary for Small Favors made me want 2021 to get here NOW or I'm gonna lose my mind.

[poetlcs]

books I’ve read in 2020 (so far) + their ratings  

(update books 60-70)  /  7.10.20

non-fiction

crossing the line: australia’s secret history in the timor sea by kim mcgrath

hood feminism: notes from the women that a movement forgot by mikki kendall

the uninhabitable earth: life after warming by david wallace-wells

homo deus: a brief history of tomorrow by yuval noah harari

SPQR: a history of ancient rome by mary beard

sister outsider by audre lorde

all boys aren’t blue by george m. johnson

under a biliari tree i born by alice biari smith

the lost world of british communism by raphael samuel

the ethnic cleansing of palestine by ilan pappé

stamped from the beginning: the definitive history of racist ideas in America by ibram x. kendi

catch and kill: lies, spies and a conspiracy to protect predators by ronan farrow

classics

maurice by e.m forster

emma by jane austen

perfume by patrick suskind

the color purple by alice walker

a study in scarlet by arthur conan doyle

dracula by bram stoker

the tenant of wildfell hall by anne bronte

fantasy

the diviners by libba bray (reread)

lair of dreams by libba bray (reread)

before the devil breaks you by libba bray (reread)

the king of crows by libba bray

clockwork princess by cassandra clare (reread)

we unleash the merciless storm by tehlor kay mejia

wolfsong by t.j klune

the fate of the tearling by erika johansan

girl, serpent, thorn by melissa bashardoust

crier’s war by nina varela (reread)

we hunt the flame by hafsah faizal

ghosts of the shadow market by cassandra clare + others

a storm of swords: part two by george r.r martin

amarah by l.l mcneil

chain of gold by cassandra clare

the gilded wolves by roshani chokshi (reread)

the silvered serpents by roshani chokshi

girls of storm and shadow by natasha ngan

science fiction

This is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

not your sidekick by c.b lee

the martian by andy weir

speculative fiction:

the deep by rivers solomon

how long ‘til black future month? by n.k jemisin

terra nullius by claire g. coleman

magical realism

blanca & roja by anna-marie mclemore

mystery

the family upstairs by lisa jewell

the hand on the wall by maureen johnson

the lake house by kate morton

contemporary fiction

maybe in another life by taylor jenkins reid

girl, woman, other by bernadine evaristo

tin heart by shivan plozza

a little life by hanya yanigahara

a girl like that by tanaz bhathena

little fires everywhere by celeste ng

stay gold by tobly mcsmith

everything leads to you by nina lacour

the falling in love montage by ciara smyth

normal people by sally rooney

the glass hotel by emily st john mandel

only mostly devastated by sophie gonzales

historical fiction

half of a yellow sun by chimamanda ngozi adichie

hamnet by maggie o’farrell

all the light we cannot see by anthony doerr

romance:

get a life, chloe brown by talia hibbert

poetry:

on earth we’re briefly gorgeous by ocean vuong

clap when you land by elizabeth acevedo

translated fiction:

princess bari by hwang sok-yong (south korean)

graphic novels:

laura dean keeps breaking up with me by mariko tamaki and rosemary valero-o'connell (illustrations)

anthology:

meet me at the intersection edited by rebecca lim and ambelin kwaymullina

[libraryleopard]

All the books I read in 2022, under the cut (* = reread)

January

Giant-Size X-Men by Jonathan Hickman et al

The Accursed Vampire by Madeline McGrane

House of X/Powers of X by Jonathan Hickman et al*

A Master of Djinn by P. Djèlí Clark

Once & Future vol. 1: The King is Undead by Kieron Gillen et al

X-23: Innocence Lost by Craig Kyle*

The Other Black Girl by Zakiya Dalila Harris

Heartstopper vol. 2 by Alice Oseman*

Heartstopper vol. 3 by Alice Oseman*

Darius the Great Deserves Better by Adib Khorram

Once and Future vol 2 by Kieron Gillen et al

Once and Future vol 3 by Kieron Gillen et al

Die vol. 1: Fantasy Heartbreaker by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans

Moon Knight vol. 1: Lunatic by Jeff Lemire and Greg Smallwood

Die vol. 2: Split the Party by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans

The Conductors by Nicole Glover

Die vol. 3: The Great Game by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans

Excalibur vol. 3 by Tini Howard and Marcus To

Die vol. 4: Bleed by Kieron Gillen and Stephanie Hans

February

Queen of the Sea by Dylan Meconis

Not My Problem by Ciara Smyth

Something Is Killing the Children vol. 1 by James Tynion IV and Werther Dell’Edera

Call Us What We Carry by Amanda Gorman

Not For Use in Navigation by Iona Datt Sharma

Our Violent Ends by Chloe Gong

Sabrina and Corina by Kali Farjado-Anstine

It Goes Like This by Miel Moreland

Sooner or Later Everything Falls into the Sea by Sarah Pinsker

Silver in the Wood by Emily Tesh

Little Thieves by Margaret Owen

Wylding Hall by Elizabeth Hand

The Drowned Country by Emily Tesh

March 

Bad Things Happen Here by Rebecca Barrow

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske

Shit Cassandra Saw by Gwen E. Kirby

Some By Virtue Fall by Alexandra Rowland

The Sandman vol. 3: Dream Country by Neil Gaiman

The Duchess War by Courtney Milan

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

Druids: A Very Short Introduction by Barry Cunliffe

April

Homesick by Nino Cipri

The Longest Night by E.E. Ottoman

The Ex Talk by Rachel Lynn Solomon

Hellions vol. 3 by Zeb Wells

S.W.O.R.D. vol 2 by Al Ewing

Latchkey by Nicole Kornher-Stace

Tales of the Elders of Ireland translated by Ann Dooley

May

Supersex: Sexuality, Fantasy, and the Superhero edited by Anna F. Peppard

Sorcerer to the Crown by Zen Cho*

June

Ophelia After All by Racquel Marie

From Dust, A Flame by Rebecca Podos

Fangs by Sarah Andersen

I Killed Zoe Spanos by Kit Frick

Spirits Abroad by Zen Cho

Far Sector by N.K. Jemisin and Jamal Campbell

Squad by Maggie Tokuda-Hall and Lisa Sterle

Cheer Up: Love and Pompoms by Crystal Frasier and Val Wise

The Thirty Names of Night by Zeyn Joukhadar

Icebreaker by A.L. Graziadei

The Daughters of Ys by M.T. Anderson and Jo Rioux

Queer As All Get Out: 10 People Who’ve Inspired Me by Shelby Criswell

Messy Roots by Laura Gao

The Wolf Among the Wild Hunt by Merc Fenn Wolfmoor

Summer Sons by Lee Mandelo

Vampires Never Get Old: New Tales With Fresh Bite edited by Zoraida Córdova and Natalie C. Parker

She Gets the Girl by Rachael Lippincott and Alyson Derick

The Scapegracers by H.A. Clarke

Abbott vol. 1 by Saladin Ahmed and Sami Kivelä

Abbott vol. 2 by Saladin Ahmed and Sami Kivelä

Ready When You Are by Gary Lonesborough

The Heartbreak Bakery by A.R. Capetta

Stone Fruit by Lee Lai

For the Love of April French by Penny Aimes

July

X-Men vol. 1 by Gerry Duggan

Never Been Kissed by Timothy Janovsky

Lost and Found Kathryn Schulz

X-Men: Season One by Dennis Hopeless and Jamie McKelvie

Shadow Life by Hiromi Goto and Ann Xu

Harleen by Stjepan Šejić

The Midnight Girls by Alicia Jasinska

Marvel’s Voices: Pride (2022)

A Caribbean Heiress in Paris by Adriana Herrera

Weather Girl by Rachel Lynn Solomon

The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud*

Galaxy: The Prettiest Star by Jadzia Axelrod and Jess Taylor

¡Hola Papi!: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons by John Paul Brammer

Some of My Best Friends: Essays on Lip Service by Tajja Isen

The Whispering Skull by Jonathan Lockwood*

The Department of Truth vol. 1: The End of the World by James Tynion and Martin Simmonds

Open Water by Caleb Azumah Nelson

Excalibur vol. 1: The Sword is Drawn by Chris Claremont and Alan Davis

The Memory Librarian and Other Stories by Janelle Monáe and others

Excalibur vol. 2: Two-Edged Sword by Chris Claremont and Alan Davus

Payback’s a Witch by Lana Harper

X-Men Hellfire Gala bind-up by various authors

X-Men: Magneto Testament by Greg Pak and Carmine di Giandomenico

Seeing Ghosts by Kat Chow

Ellen Outside the Lines by A.J. Sass

Black Bolt vol. 1: Hard Time by Saladin Ahmed and Christian Ward

Black Bolt vol. 2 by Saladin Ahmed and Christian Ward

The Hollow Boy by Jonathan Stroud*

Never Ever Getting Back Together by Sophie Gonzales

August

The Creeping Shadow by Jonathan Stroud*

The Empty Grave by Jonathan Stroud

The Queer Principles of Kit Webb by Cat Sebastian

The Nice House on the Lake by James Tynion IV and Álvaro Martínez Bueno

Battle Royal by Lucy Parker

Sandman vol. 4: Season of Mists by Neil Gaiman and others

The Revolution of Birdie Randolph by Brandy Colbert

Sandman vol. 5: A Game of You by Neil Gaiman and various

King of Infinite Space by Lyndsay Faye

I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

Off the Record by Camryn Garrett

Artie and the Wolf Moon by Olivia Stephens

By Any Means Necessary by Candice Montgomery

Sandman vol. 6: Fables and Reflections by Neil Gaiman and various

Ireland in the Medieval World AD 400-1000: Landscape, kingship, and religion by Edel Bhreathnach

Sandman vol. 7: Brief Lives by Neil Gaiman and others

The Many Death of Laila Starr by Ram V and Felipe Amdrade

Sandman vol. 8: Worlds’ End by Neil Gaiman and various

Sandman vol. 9: The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman and various

Sandman vol. 10: The Wake by Neil Gaiman and various

The Duke Who Didn’t by Courtney Milan

Hellblazer vol. 3: The Fear Machine by Jamie Delano

Something is Killing the Children vol. 1 by James Tynion Iv, Werther Dell’Edera, and Miquel Muerto

Something is Killing the Children vol. 2 by James Tynion Iv, Werther Dell’Edera, 

Black Spring by Alison Croggon

September

Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco

What Souls Are Made Of by Tasha Suri

Spear by Nicola Griffith

Piranesi by Susanna Clark

October

Bach in the Barn by Leigh Ellis

Time is a Mother by Ocean Vuong

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy by Becky Chambers

Hellblazer vol. 4: The Family Man by Jamie Delano and others

John Constantine, Hellblazer: All His Engines by John Carey and Leonardo Manco

The Lady’s Guide to Celestial Mechanics by Olivia Waite

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson

Hellblazer vol. 5: Dangerous Habits by Jamie Delano, Garth Ennis and others

The Táin translated by Thomas Kinsella*

Dark Earth by Rebecca Stott

Hellblazer vol. 6: Bloodlines by Garth Ennis and others

Skin of the Sea by Natasha Bowen

Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé

November

Dracula by Bram Stoker

Wild, Again by Bertha Rogers

Half a Soul by Olivia Atwater

Heart of Stone by Johannes T. Evans

A Spindle Splintered by Alix E. Harrow

Like Other Girls by Britta Lundin

Hellblazer vol. 7: Tainted Love by Garth Ennis and others

The Perilous Life of Jade Yeo by Zen Cho

A Mirror Mended by Alix E. Harrow

Notorious Sorcerer by Davinia Evans

Honey and Spice by Bolu Babalola

Desdemona and the Deep by C.S.E. Cooney

Hellblazer vol. 8: Rake at the Gates of Hell by Garth Ennis, Steve Dillon, and others

December

A Restless Truth by Freya Marske

A Scatter of Light by Malinda Lo

A Lush and Seething Hell by John Hornor Jacobs

Woman, Eating by Claire Kohda

Kaleidoscope: Diverse YA Science Fiction and Fantasy Stories edited by Alisa Krasnostein and Julia Rios

The Hurting King by Ada Limón

My Soul to Keep by Tananarive Due

Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman

Ring Shout by P. Djèlí Clark

Ghost Of by Diana Khoi Nguyen

The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor LaValle

Sword Stone Table edited by Swapna Krishna and Jenn Northington

Snowspelled by Stephanie Burgis

R E D by Chase Berggrun

Truth Be Cold by Alexa Barstow

Ravage the Dark by Tara Sim

[stereksecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, @zjofierose!

Read on AO3

*****

Stiles, like most people, was five years old when his mother gave him the necklace. Dangling from the thin silver chain was a tear-shaped pendant holding a beautiful stone. It appeared to glow from within, and as his small hand wrapped around the cool gem, he imagined it was a droplet of pure moonlight encased in glass.

“Alright, my little Mischief.” His mother smiled at the look of awe on his face. “When your soulmate is near, that pendant will start to warm, becoming hotter the closer they are.”

*

Stiles fiddles with the iridescent stone hanging around his neck. The unusually warm temperature of the pendant continuously buzzes at the edge of his awareness, like an annoying insect, whispering maybe and could be. A more likely explanation is that he’s standing next to a roaring fire and feeling a nice buzz from the couple of drinks he’s had. Yeah. That’s why his pendant is warm. Not at all because his soulmate is close.

Stiles knows it’s impossible, despite what his inebriated brain wants to believe, because he knows how it will feel, had felt it once before, six years ago, as he sat at his father’s desk in the sheriff’s department. Of course, by that point, his mother had passed away and the only person he could ask about the jewelry warming his chest was his father, who was busy working. So instead, Stiles decided to wander around the bullpen.

Outside the sheriff’s office, he found a dark-haired boy, not much older than him, rubbing at his red, tear-stained cheeks. His clothes were filthy and ripped, covered in a fine layer of gray soot. As Stiles approached the boy, the warmth of the stone grew.

With his head tilted curiously, Stiles waited until the boy looked up at him. Piercing hazel eyes sent a shock through his small frame, but there was something in the vulnerable expression on the boy’s face that made Stiles’s heart ache, and though he hadn’t really shown any outward emotion since his mom died, Stiles leaned forward and wrapped his skinny arms around the boy.

A spark, like a jolt of electricity, sizzled when they touched, and as Stiles gripped him tighter, he could feel the boy’s pendant, a hot point of pressure directly over his heart.

Soulmates.

Before Stiles could say or do anything, the sheriff came out of his office with a haggard, angry-looking young man and a devastated teenage girl, who’d also been crying. The girl went straight to the older boy, almost knocking Stiles out of the way. The boy looked at Stiles and then the girl, hissing out a name. “Laura!”

The boy looked like he wanted to say something to Stiles, presumably apologize for the girl’s abrupt shove, but he was being wrapped up in a blanket and led away by the two people who’d exited the Sheriff’s office. And even though his name was called, Stiles stayed rooted in place, staring after him until the trio crossed the threshold to the lobby, venturing out of sight.

A few days later, when Stiles was cleaning, he found a file on the dining room table. Its contents reported on a house fire that claimed the lives of an entire family, save for three people: a young man named Peter Hale, his niece Laura Hale, a teenager, and Derek Hale, the boy Stiles had hugged. The boy he needed to find again because Stiles’s pendant had turned summer-warm in his presence.

But Stiles never got the chance. The three remaining members of the Hale family moved away days after the fire, and the case remained unsolved. Coincidentally, Stiles’s pendant never warmed again.

Until now.

The sights and sounds of the party assault his senses, breaking him from his reverie. His classmates talk loudly and laugh raucously. The fire, warm and bright on his face, crackles and pops, while twigs, branches, and leaves crunch beneath the feet of people as they trample through the preserve.

It’s overwhelming when combined with the memory of his soulmate being gone, leaving him before they could even get to know one another. He stumbles back and, in his haste to get away from the cacophony of noise, trips over an exposed tree root. But instead of hurtling to his death, or at least a broken bone, two strong hands grab his waist and haul him up.

Stiles’s hands fly out instinctively, gripping his savior’s biceps until his feet are planted firmly on the ground. “Thanks, du—” His words are lost because standing before him is someone Stiles never thought he’d see again. “It’s you…”

The impressive brows on the guy’s face pull down into a frown. The sharp cut of his cheekbones and jawlines create menacing shadows. Stiles would make a quip about resting murder face if not for the memory of how vulnerable this man looked so long ago, hunched in on himself as he sat waiting for his uncle and sister outside the sheriff’s office. It may have been six years, but Stiles would recognize those eyes anywhere.

Derek.

“What are you doing here? Huh? This is private property.” The words are growled harshly.

Stiles holds up his hands in self-preservation, palms out, to show he’s unarmed and harmless. “Uh, sorry, man, we didn’t know.” Shoving his hands in the pockets of his jeans, he nods towards the rest of the partygoers at Lydia’s annual back-to-school bash.

“If you want, I can-” Stiles turns back to Derek, but he’s gone, vanishing as mysteriously as he appeared. If it weren’t for the ghost of Derek’s hands on his hips, he would have sworn he’d imagined seeing his soulmate again.

Kicking at the dirt, Stiles lets out a heavy sigh. Did Derek not recognize him? Of course not. It’s been six years, and Stiles has grown up a lot in that time. They both have. Surely Derek’s own pendant warmed in Stiles’s presence, though. Didn’t it? But that’s not even the most crucial question.

What’s he doing back?

The sounds of the party die out the further Stiles travels into the preserve. Without thinking about it, his feet take him towards the dilapidated shell of the old Hale house. The trees cast ominous shadows in the early autumn breeze, dark fingers stretching toward him in the moonlight. Stiles shivers, briskly rubbing his hands up and down his arms, smoothing away the goosebumps as he blows out a breath.

He hasn’t been out here in a while. After the Hales left and the unsolved case was filed away to gather dust, Stiles would come out and visit what was left of his soulmate’s childhood home. At first, he searched for clues–about what caused the fire or where Derek could have gone–but he was only a kid. He didn’t have the first idea of how to ‘investigate.’ Besides, everything he needed was in the file his father denied him access to.

When he got over the inability to solve the case, Stiles started visiting as a way to connect to Derek. What wasn’t destroyed by flames and soot became precious to him, from the scorched wolf figurine he found hidden under the crumbling remnants of a dresser to the half-burned copy of The Lord of the Rings. And as much as Stiles wanted to take the items, they weren’t his, so he left them in place and would continue to go out to the property whenever he could.

His visits slowed over the years. Now he only comes out when he’s sad or lonely. When he aches for his soulmate.

The pendant on Stiles’s necklace starts to warm again, and the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He’s being watched.

“I thought I told you to leave.” Stiles’s heart might race, but he doesn’t startle as Derek steps from the shadowy tree line.

Usually, Stiles would have a sarcastic comeback, but there’s tension in the air and he has an important question. “What are you doing back?”

Those impressive-looking brows shoot up as Derek looks at him with a scowl. “Do I know you?”

It’s hard for Stiles to distinguish between the Derek he met so long ago, the one he got to know through scavenging the bones of the Hale house, and the Derek that stands before him now. Neither version of Derek ever had a chance to get to know him. Stiles isn’t sure Derek would even want to. Why had that thought never crossed his mind? “No. I guess not.”

“You guess not.”

Crickets chirp as Stiles realizes Derek’s waiting for an answer. “Oh! Was that a question? Inflection, dude. It’s a thing. And no. I mean, you don’t know me, but I know you. Who you are at least. Derek Hale.”

The muscles in Derek’s jaw jump, and when he takes a step forward, Stiles can see his fists clenched by his sides. “Who are you? How do you know me?!”

Tumbling back with the force of Derek’s words, Stiles, who on a good day is still clumsy, trips over his own feet. His arms go flailing as he tries to catch himself, managing to land on his ass with a dull thud. He scrambles back, twigs digging into his palms, as Derek stalks forward.

“I met you once!” he yells hastily. When Derek stops in his tracks, Stiles sits up and crosses his legs. The position puts a strain on his neck as he looks up at Derek, but for some reason, maybe it’s the predatory look in Derek’s eyes, he feels the need to make himself seem smaller.

“It was the night of the fire,” Stiles continues. “At the sheriff’s station.”

Derek narrows his eyes, and Stiles can’t help but shrink at the scrutinizing look Derek gives him. His nostrils flare like he’s sniffing the air, and his features soften. “You. It was you. You gave— You gave me a hug.”

Stiles shrugs, ignoring when Derek’s eyes track his fingers as they fidget with his pendant. “You looked like you needed one. I didn’t know until after-” he waves his other hand in the direction of the ruined house- “about the fire.” He doesn’t say he’s sorry, like others probably would, somehow knowing it’s not what Derek would want.

Leaves crumble under Derek’s boots as he steps forward, and Stiles feels the heat radiating from his body as he kneels in front of him. His hand is engulfed by Derek’s as he turns it, exposing the pendant in his palm. “I lost mine.”

Tilting his head, Stiles nods for Derek to continue.

“After the fire… I don’t know how much you know about it.”

“Almost nothing,” Stiles says quickly, hoping Derek will explain.

“There are things that I can’t tell you, at least not yet.” Derek lets go of the pendant and sits back on his heels. “My sister, Laura-” he takes a breath like he’s setting up for a long story- “her soulmate didn’t— I don’t really know how to— Her soulmate didn’t care for her or our family. In fact, she hated us.”

Stiles opens his mouth to ask why, but Derek cuts him off.

“Don’t ask. It’s not something I can—”

“Okay,” Stiles hurriedly says because it’s clear Derek is uncomfortable clarifying. “It’s okay.”

“She did it. Kate. She trapped my family in the house and started the fire. I don’t have proof, which is why it remains unsolved. It’s also why we ran.”

“You and Laura. Your uncle, too, right?” Stiles glances around, fully expecting the other Hales to pop out of hiding.

“It’s just me now.”

The words are heavy, weighed down with grief, pain, and anger. Derek doesn’t need to say it, Stiles can tell from his somber tone. They’re gone. He has questions though. How? Did Kate follow them? Kill them? Where is she now?

“Why are you back?” is what he goes with, which Derek doesn’t answer.

“When we left–before we left–I took it off.” Derek gestures at the pendant Stiles is still playing with. “Tossed it. Out there.” A hand gestures at the trees surrounding them. “I was scared. Soulmates are… They’re magical, right? This person is supposed to— They’re supposed to be perfect for you. Not— Not that. Not someone who tries to kill you. I couldn’t— And yeah, you might have been a kid, but I— Not after that. Not after that.”

“I get it,” Stiles says with a heavy heart and sad smile. He’s always held onto a bit of hope when it comes to his soulmate. That one day, Derek would be back, and they’d meet and get to know each other. While he understands Derek’s reluctance when it comes to soulmates, the rejection still stings.

Swallowing thickly, he gets up and wipes the dirt from his pants. “You should talk to my dad. About the fire. He always thought there was something he was missing. If you tell him about Kate, I’m sure he’d reopen the case, figure something out that ties her to it. At least if she’s behind bars, you won’t have to keep running.”

“She’ll never hurt anyone again. I made sure of it.”

“Oh.” He clears his throat and rubs a hand through his hair. Derek looks at him, not saying anything, and Stiles has never done well with uncomfortable silences. “I guess I’ll just—” he turns to leave but doesn’t get far when a hand wraps securely around his wrist.

“No, don’t— Don’t go. Please. I—” That vulnerable look is back on Derek’s face. “I came back for— I wanted to see if I could find it. My pendant. I wanted to find you.”

“You did?”

“My uncle. He told me—” Stiles waits as Derek composes himself. “Kate was the exception. He told me I shouldn’t live my life based on what happened to Laura. I’d decided a while ago that when it was safe, I would come back.”

“For…” Stiles doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but he needs to know. “For me?”

Nodding, Derek steps into his space, placing a hand on his hips. They’re almost the same height, making it easy to stare into the kaleidoscope of colors that are Derek’s eyes. “For my soulmate.”

*

One Year Later

“If I trip and fall, I’m lining my window with mountain ash…” Stiles holds his hands out, feeling for trees and branches as he walks through the preserve. The blindfold Derek gave him in the Camaro fits snug around his head, effectively blocking out his vision.

Stumbling slightly, strong hands grip his waist, and the heat of Derek’s chest against his back gives him a sense of relief. He shivers as Derek whispers in his ear, “I’ve got you, Stiles. Just a few more steps.”

Once he’s directed on where to stand, he closes his eyes like Derek instructs and reaches back to untie the blindfold. “Okay.” His fingers shake slightly as the anticipation builds. The last time Derek had been so secretive was when he sat Stiles down and told him about werewolves as if he hadn’t already figured it out. A subtle ‘wolf, Derek Hale is not.

“Ready?” He startles at Derek’s touch. Deft hands replace his own to remove the covering from his eyes.

“Yeah,” he says with a nervous laugh. “Yeah, you’re killing me here, dude.”

“So impatient…” Derek tsks before kissing the side of his head. “Open your eyes.”

He squints at first, holding a hand up to block the assault of sunlight. As he blinks, the blurred surroundings come into focus. Standing before them should be the ruins of Hale house. Instead, the once run-down building is gone. In its place is a large hole surrounded by bulldozers and backhoes. A dumpster stands nearby along with pallets of bricks.

With curiosity, he takes a step forward and peers into the crater. “What is all this?” Stiles asks.

“I called the city and got permits for demolition and rebuilding.” Stiles gasps softly and looks over his shoulder as Derek shrugs. “But we’ve still got a lot of debris to clear out.”

“I thought you were selling the land, though.”

“I know that’s what we talked about, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is my home. Forget about four walls and a roof. I grew up here, in these woods.”

Derek strides away, his hand reaching out to touch the bark of a nearby tree. “I clawed this tree when I shifted for the first time, climbed another to sneak out at night. I miss running through the preserve during full moons. I have memories here that aren’t tarnished by that night. And I want the chance to make new ones. With you.”

Looking around, Stiles can envision it. Steps that no longer creak beneath his feet as he walks up the large wrap around porch. He can practically feel the wood grain of a new railing and smiles at the image he has of them sitting on Adirondack chairs, watching the sunset through the trees.

“You can see it right,” Derek asks, hot breath fanning over Stiles’s cheek as he steps closer. “We’ll hang pictures on the walls. You’ll toss your Mets cap on the coffee table, and I’ll leave my books everywhere.”

“And you’ll insist on a TV in the bedro—”

Derek cuts him off with a kiss. “I like watching documentaries before bed, Stiles.”

Throwing his head back, Stiles laughs and the sound echoes through the trees. “You are-” he loops his arms around Derek’s neck, pulling him in for another kiss- “an absolutely ridiculous man. And I love you for it.”

Derek ducks his head and smiles shyly, the tips of his ears tinged pink. “I have one more surprise.”

“Another one?” Knowing Derek has plans to build a house for them is already so much more than Stiles could have ever dreamed. “Derek, you don’t have to—”

Derek pulls away as Stiles talks, reaching into his pocket to pull out a silver rope chain.

“Is this—” The oval pendant is dropped into Stiles’s palm and as he turns it over, the polished stone casts off different hues of blue, gold, and coppery-red in the light. Though he’s been told about it, he’d never seen the beautiful labradorite stone that Derek once wore, but the warmth on his palm tells him that this is Derek’s lost soulmate pendant. Tears well in his eyes as he looks up at Derek. “Where’d you—”

Stiles can’t help but lean into the touch as Derek caresses his cheek. “I found it a couple of weeks ago when I was walking with the surveyor. The stone was scratched and the clasp on the necklace broke, so I had to send it out to a jeweler to get fixed. Got it back this morning. Felt like a sign.”

Putting the chain back around Derek’s neck, Stiles hugs him tightly. He recognizes the searing jolt of electricity from so long ago that told him he found his soulmate, and he smiles brightly because this time Derek’s not going anywhere.

[areiton]

let’s go

for @bloody-bee-tea. Hurt comfort and soft fluffy Deter. With a hint of Steterek (with a story to follow.) It’s a bit long, so watch for that! Enjoy, darling. <3 

It’s strange, how it happens.

Derek is reading, sprawled across the couch and Stiles is humming in the background. Ostensibly, he’s here for research, something Scott wanted him to look up. Peter has the best books, and refuses to let Stiles take them from the loft, something that frustrates the boy and amuses Derek, and Peter takes his amusement.

There’s a documentary on, and Derek keeps glancing at it, his gaze bright and fascinated in a way Peter hasn’t seen since before the fire, and it makes him ache, seeing that wonder.

Seeing burnt out shadows of the boy he’d known, a lifetime ago.

Derek glances at him once, his gaze searching and curious, but he doesn’t say anything, not until Stiles comes back and hands out bowls of spicy pasta, plopping down on the floor to eat his pasta while he stares at the tv.

“I wanna go there,” Stiles says, apropos nothing, and Derek snorts.

“You don’t even know where there is,” he says, fondly and Peter hides his smile at Stiles indignant flailing.

It’s only after the sputtering stops and Stiles grumbles into his food that Peter says, “It’s Greenland. And you’d freeze.”

Both of them pause, staring at him, and Peter shrugs. “I went there, the year I spent abroad.”

The year after Paige, when he fled his hurt nephew, and the complicated feelings he felt guilty for. Derek eyes him now, understanding bright in his gaze.

“Sometimes,” Peter says, “running from your problems isn’t a bad idea.”

Stiles hums thoughtfully, and leans back, studying them.

“You should go,” he says, and Derek stares at him. “You should both go. Gods know, Beacon Hills has been hell for both of you.”

There’s a beat of quiet, and then, carefully, Peter says, “It has been for you, as well.”

Stiles makes a face, and stands, gathering up the empty bowls. “I’m not ready. But you are.”

~*~ 

Peter thinks about it.

He thinks about it for weeks, and sees Derek watching him.

They get along now—even when they fight in the preserve, it’s more playful than anything, and Peter limps away, hard and sore and desperate for Derek to pin him down and fill him up, instead of itching to rip his nephew’s throat out.

It’s progress.

But there’s still something between them, something Laura shaped, with Kate’s voice and conjured of smoke, something impossible to ignore.

But on the nights when he wakes with a scream trapped in his throat, he is never left alone in the dark. Derek always pads out and sits on the far side of the couch, and they watch the flickering images of a world beyond this thrice cursed town.

And he thinks about it.

~*~

“Would you go?” Derek asks, his voice rough and Peter’s hands are shaking.

The fight had been close tonight, too close. Stiles is in the hospital, his father pale and shaken at his bedside, and Derek is still bleeding, hours later.

There was a moment, when the glowing eyes had flickered and Peter had seen the sick white bone of his nephew’s spine through the gaping clawmarks in his back, and Derek’s scream still rattled around in his head, almost downing out the sound of flames.

But he hears the question, and he glances at the TV, where the goddamn documentary is panning over a span of northern Europe. Derek is watching him, though, his pale eyes pain dull and still demanding.

And he knows the answer, the light flippant one he should give—but Derek almost died, today. Stiles will be recovering for months, and he is so fucking tired.

So he nods, once, and says, plain and honest.

“If you went with me, darling, there is no where I wouldn’t go.”

~*~

They see Stiles, once, before they leave. He’s sleeping and Peter presses a kiss into his hair and tucks a phone into his hand, the number already programmed into his and Derek’s phone.

Derek whines, almost too low to hear, when Peter turns to leave and he pauses. “He isn’t ready, Derek. Not yet.”

He doesn’t say, but one day.

It’s not a guarantee—nothing is, in Beacon Hills.

But he goes, and Derek follows him, and he thinks—but one day.

~*~

They go.

To Europe, soaring cathedrals and dark forests, hidden cafes, shitty hotels, opera and museums, and every small bakery Derek can coax Peter into.

To Africa, and run, shifted, through the plains, wander human through the cities, sleep under a wide open sky filled with a million stars and a bright bright moon.

To India, wet and beautiful, and Derek laughs there, at an elephant of all things, and Peter watches with unguarded wonder in his eyes.

They go to New Zealand and Austraila, trek across Russia and back into the shifting cultures of Europe, and they begin to talk.

Of the past and their regrets.

Of the family the lost. Sometimes—sometimes they fight, and it’s not playful sparring, it’s the vicious brawls that he remembers from right after he came back from the dead, when Derek reeked of fear and fury.

But he comes back. Always, they come back to each other.

~*~

Derek is shy, skittish almost, and the first time Peter touches him, steers him through a crowded street in Venice with a hand at the nape of his neck, Derek went almost boneless, a low noise of pleasure and want in his throat.

He pressed close, after that, cuddled into Peter while the wandered through Paris and Cairo and Moscow, curled around him when they slept in Delhi and Auckland and the Outback.

It was chaste, and madding, and Peter wanted, gods he wanted. But he needed pack, needed family far more than he needed to fuck his nephew.

~*~

They text Stiles, constantly, and eventually John, because he was curious and protective, and amused.

“I miss him,” Derek says, while they watch the waves in South Africa.

“I wonder if he’s safe,” Peter says, feet dangling over a mountain ledge in Peru.

“He’d love this,” Derek whispers, a monkey perched on his shoulder in Brazil.

They miss him. But Stiles isn’t there yet—he hasn’t been through everything Derek and Peter had, even with the hell he had survived.

He isn’t ready to leave Beacon Hills,  isn’t ready to leave his brother or father.

But Peter thinks that he’s close.

That the day is not nearly as far off as Derek fears.

~*~

Derek kisses him in Greenland, while a snowstorm blows in, in the middle of an argument about their hotel for the night, just leans in and kisses the protest right out of Peter’s mouth, makes a happy pleased noise when Peter pulls him closer with a needy noise, and when he breaks away, whispers, “Just get in the fucking room so I can fuck you, Peter.”

Later, after Derek has fingered him open and Peter has ridden him agonizingly slow, until Derek was begging and they came, hard enough that Peter’s roar had shaken the light fixtures—

Later, after Derek licks Peter’s stomach clean and presses his finger into the come seeping from him, when Peter arches and groans and ruts against him lazily and gasps into Derek’s mouth as he fucks him with lazy fingers, dragging him to a toe curling orgasm that left Peter shivering and weak against Derek’s chest.

Derek whispers, “Peter?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I miss him,” he says, a soft confession and Peter closes his eyes. Presses a kiss into Derek’s salty skin.

“I do, too.”

~*~

He finds the house while Derek is talking about the story he started writing, rambling at his side in a way that he’s never done in Beacon Hills, and it occurs to him—they’re happy.

They are both blindingly, impossibly, happy.

The house is small and blue and rustic and quaint and Peter stops to stare at it, at the sign in Russian that he can’t read.

“Darling,” he says, and Derek pauses, gives him a questioning look. “I don’t want to go anymore.”

Derek stares at it, and  a smile starts at the corner of his lips.

“I miss him,” Peter says, plainly. “And I want somewhere to build our life. Somewhere he can come.”

Derek reaches for his hand, then, twists their fingers together.

“Yeah,” he breathes. “Yeah. Let’s see who we need to talk to, huh?”

Peter kisses him, there, in a tiny town in the middle of god knows where Europe, surrounded by rolling green and an endless sky, kisses him and let’s himself soak in the feeling of being home.

Derek’s arms, and the promise of something more—that was home.

For all the times he ran searching, they ran looking for peace—this has always been home.

“Yeah,” he murmurs. “Yes, sweetheart, let’s go.”