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crashdevlin · 6 years ago

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Holidays, not Holy-Days

Red Queen Chronicles Masterlist

Author’s Note: Originally posted to ao3 (This is an edited and improved version) Part Two of the Red Queen Chronicles!

Summary: Cassie Campbell brings her teammates and friends together for her first ever Christmas dinner. 2 aliens, an atheist, her boyfriend's ex-wife, her ex-boyfriend and an all-American lab rat worried about her mental health. What could go wrong?

Word Count: 8148

Pairing(s): Phil Coulson x OFC (Past), Clint Barton x OFC,

Story Warnings: 18+, HERE BE SEX!!! DON’T READ IF YOU’RE A YOUNG’UN!!!, kitchen sex, protected vaginal sex, oral sex (fem rec), identity issues, panic attack,

"Because, Clint, I know that at least two of us, probably three, have never had a Christmas dinner and Wanda hasn't had one since she was orphaned. You guys are my family and I really want everyone here. I've got this big old house to myself and I don't want that on Christmas. I know Nat's not busy. You're retired. You can't say 'no'."

"What about Laur-"

"I asked Laura. She wanted nothing to do with it. Apparently, she and the kids don't leave the house much around Christmas just in case Barney comes home. I think that's probably a real depressing place to be if he doesn't show, so come to Washington. Spend Christmas with your girlfriend and your friends."

Static came through the phone as Clint sighed. "Who is gonna be there?"

"Well, Pepper confirmed for her and Tony, but I'm gonna double check with him. I think I've caught Thor's attention, or at least Heimdall's, so I'll hear from him soon. I sent Steve a paper invite via snail mail a week ago, so I'm gonna call to see if he got it. Wanda and Vision both confirmed and Sam said he has to see what's going on with his family, but he would probably stop by. I'm gonna call Phil after I get off with you, invite him and his people."

"You gonna have enough food for all those people?"

"I'm making a goose, a turkey, and a ham, three kinds of potatoes, four casseroles, homemade rolls, store-bought rolls, cranberry sauce from scratch and 6 different kinds of pie. I have a chart to make sure everything is ready at the same time. I got this. Now, I just need you."

"Oh, tug at my heartstrings. Fine. I confirm for me and Nat. See you on the 22nd, babe."

"Love you, Hawkeye." She hung up and wiped her hand down her face. "Visit or call? Visit or call?"

Cassie sighed and hit the buttons on her landline to call Coulson. "Cassie. How's Seattle?"

"Rainy, but beautiful. Exactly what I expected. So... how's the... lack of hand?" She grabbed a mug and filled it with coffee.

"It's... bad. I'm having issues. My robotics guy is behind on making a prosthetic because our biologist disappeared and they were joined at the hip, but... is that why you called, Cass?"

"No, actually. Well, kinda. I know that the last several months have sucked for pretty much everybody and I'm thinking that we all need a bit of happy. I am hosting a Yule feast on the 22nd, and I'd like you and your A-Team to come."

"Yule Feast?"

"Yeah. I'm inviting a Viking God and a couple atheists, so I didn't want to go too religious on it. That's why I'm doing it early and calling it 'Yule'. It's gonna be great and I'd really like you and yours to be there."

"Even Bobbi?"

"Uh, yeah. Actually, I have a gift specially for her."

"Really? Aren't you dating Barton?"

"I am. Since before Sokovia, actually, since I know you wanna know. No, I developed a thing in my Stark Tech lab that I think screams 'Mockingbird'. I got Tony to agree let me give the prototype to her. If she has any complaints, it'll help me tweak it before any sort of production."

"So... you're calling to invite me and mine to Yule dinner?" There was silence for a few seconds, then Coulson asked, "Are you making sweet potatoes?"

"And sweet potato pie. Mac and Cheese casserole, mashed potatoes and those rolls I made on your birthday."

"What can I bring?"

"Just you and some presents."

"We'll be there."

"Great. See you in a few days." She turned off the house phone and took a drink of her coffee. "Call Tony," she demanded of her cell phone.

"You know who you called. Leave a message."

"The Boss is unavailable. Would you like to leave a message?" The Irish accent of FRIDAY came through the speaker.

"Oh, come on! FRIDAY, tell the man to answer his phone. Tell him I burned down StarkTech Olympia and the insurance guys are gonna be calling next."

"That's not funny." Tony's voice came through the speaker next.

"But effective, wasn't it, Boss?" Cassie asked, with a smile.

"What do you need, Campbell?"

"A vacation and a raise, but beyond that... Pepper RSVP'd for the two of you and I just wanted to make sure she even mentioned it to you before she did that."

"RSVP'd... to your little Christmas thing?"

"Right."

"Yeah. I told her to. We're good."

"Awesome. Everyone's gonna be here. Well, not everyone. Still can't seem to get a bead on Banner and he doesn't really seem like the Christmas type, but... Clint, Nat, Vision, Wanda, Sam, Phil and his crew and you and Pepper are definitely coming. I have a raven to Asgard-don't ask- and an invitation traveling USPS to New York for Steve. It's an actual paper Christmas card. Hallmark just says some things better than me."

"No. You just wanted to make Rogers feel at home. All those words you throw around, no one could say it better than you."

Cassie chuckled. "I got a blank snowman card and wrote inside it. You know me so well, Tony."

"Do you need me to bring anything? I mean, do you need me to tell Pepper we need to bring something?"

"If you want liquor, you have to bring it. I've been keeping a dry house. And... I know how you are about the holidays, so... that's what you should bring."

"All right. Next week. And StarkTech Olympia better be standing and ready for a walk-through when I get there."

"You're gonna make me give you a tour of the lab on Christmas?"

"The 22nd isn't Christmas. I don't even think it's Yule this year."

"Actually, it is. I looked it up."

"Uh-oh. You aren't getting into all that occultist weird stuff that Hitler got your daddy into, are you?"

"I'm insulted, Tony. Even as a joke, that's insulting. I was trying to be more accommodating for the aliens and agnostics on our team, all right? I'm still a Christian and I will be celebrating my savior's birth, likely alone, a few days later. This isn't about the Holy-day, this is about family."

"Yule isn't about family. It's about the God of the Sun dying and being reborn. It's kinda like Easter, without the fertility symbols."

"Oi, don't shit on my religion, Stark. Easter is not about the bunny or eggs, it's about Jesus becoming the Walking Dead. Just be here on Yule and bring booze. I have the feeling we're gonna need it." She hung up before he could and stretched her neck to relieve some of the stress.

****************************

Clint showed up the night of the 21st, calling forth a squeal from the superheroine. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "House smells like pie," Clint said.

"That's 'cause there's three pies in the oven."

"Three? Thought you were doing six?"

"Apple, pumpkin and sweet potato are in now. I've got a no-bake chocolate and a lemon meringue in the fridge setting and I did a pumpkin cheesecake yesterday. Bonus, I wanted to know if I was any good at pecan, so I made an extra pie."

"Wow. You got really into this, didn't you?" Clint asked, flicking a sprig of mistletoe hanging in the doorjamb between the foyer and the living room.

"I didn't have Christmas for twenty years and then, Phil was usually working on Christmas. This is the first time I've ever had a chance to do Christmas. I bought a whole bunch of ornaments and stuff. I've got a real freakin' pine tree in my living room. Real mistletoe that I had to buy through a florist. The dinner. I'm excited."

"How excited?" Clint asked, wagging his eyebrows at her.

"Are you asking for Christmas sex, because I am severely behind on my mise en place?"

"Your what?"

"Food prep. You know, giant meal tomorrow."

"And if I help you with your preparazione del cibo, you can come take a break and show me what you've done with your bedroom since I helped you move in."

"It's been months, Clint. You think we'll even make it up those stairs?" she asked.

"Love it when you turn the modesty off for me," he said, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into a deep kiss.

She moaned into his mouth and tried not get pulled into the feeling of having Clint's hands on her hips again. She put her hands on his shoulders and pushed back from him firmly. "No. I... Clint. There's a lot to do still."

"And sixteen hours 'til the other guests come through that door. You said it, babe, it's been months." Clint brought his fingers up and began to unbutton her green cardigan. "This is adorable on you, by the way. Can we take it off for a sex... I mean, sec."

"Clint. What if the pies burn?"

He pulled the sweater down her arms and tossed it toward the counter. It landed perfectly, hanging from the corner of a slightly open drawer. "We don't even have to leave the kitchen."

"That's not very... sanitary," Cassie breathed out as Clint pulled her camisole top over her head and threw it over to hang with her sweater.

"You have seen my apartment in Bed-Stuy, haven't you?" Clint asked, turning her around and pushing her so that she was leaning over the counter. "How much do you think I care about sanitary? Thank you for wearing a skirt." He kissed the back of her neck as his hands glided down her legs to pull her skirt up around her hips and hooked his fingers in the band of her panties.

"There's really only one thing in this kitchen I've been dying to eat, Cass, and it's not in the oven."

"Oh. Don't be vulgar."

He pulled her panties to her feet and kissed his way up the back of her thigh. "You love it when I'm vulgar." He picked her left foot up and pushed it to rest on the counter. His tongue delved quickly into her as his left hand came around to rub her clit. His right hand dug into his back pocket and tossed a condom onto the counter. It landed perfectly on the back of Cassie's hand, as Clint continued his assault.

She ripped the foil open and handed it backward to Clint, who stood, pulling his jeans down and rolling the condom over his mostly-hard length. "Wasting no time, huh?"

"Hey, you're the one that's worried about pies. And I've been thinking about this since before I got on that plane. I'm more than ready enough. You need more foreplay?"

"God, no. Just fuck me, we can do this the right way after the guests leave."

"My thoughts, exactly." He lined himself up with her, putting his left hand on her shoulder and his right on her hip. He pushed the head of him into her, both of them closing their eyes at the sensation. He swiveled his hips forward until he was completely sheathed in her. "Did I mention how much I've missed you?"

"Missed me or missed this?"

"It can't be both?" He asked.

"Such a charmer," she whispered as he pulled back until he was just barely inside her. She bit her lip in anticipation and let her head fall forward as he began a fast-paced piston motion. "Fuck, Clint."

"Gotta visit more." Clint groaned as he attached his mouth to the junction where her shoulder and neck met.

"Oh, yes. Please. I need more of this in my life." She whimpered as Clint brought his left hand around to rub furiously at her clit.

"I'm gonna cum. You gonna cum with me?"

"Harder, Clint."

"Bossy," he breathed in her ear, but his next several pumps were harder and he pressed his fingers into her clit with much more pressure. As the muscles inside of her began to clench, Clint grunted his approval and emptied into the condom.

Cassie reached forward and grabbed several paper towels, as Clint pulled the condom off and tossed it into the trash. She handed the paper towels to him and reached down to pull up her panties. "I love you and that was great, but... I have to wash my hands and check on pies. Why don't you go put your bag in the bedroom?"

"I love you and that was great." He kissed her cheek and walked out of the kitchen, fattening his jeans.

*******************

Thor's arrival brought rain down on the house, harder than the normal Seattle drizzle, and made slush of the December snow. "Thor! A-and Sif!" Cassie said, pulling the door open. "I wasn't expecting you to bring Lady Sif."

Thor gave a huge smile as he passed through the doorway to greet Pepper, Clint and Tony. Lady Sif stopped in front of her and smiled. "I've heard much about you, Lady Cassie. Thor has regaled us of your warrior personality and your great intelligence. You'd do well on Asgard."

"Regaled you? Wha-"

"Yes, the Allfather and I both greatly appreciate the tale where Loki came to you disguised as one of your advisors and you caved in his chest with one great kick."

Cassie blinked at the giant woman. *The Allfather. Thor still doesn't know. Shit.* "The Allfather... that doesn't seem like something he'd care about."

"On the contrary," Thor said, placing a long, poorly-wrapped pole against the wall next to the tree. "Father enjoys hearing about you. He especially loves to hear about Ulysses Klaue's ship."

"Ah, yes! How you were able to redirect the witch's influence and break out of her hold while Thor and his companions were all stuck inside their minds. That you, a small Midgardian woman, had to carry the mighty Odinson to safety never ceases to amuse."

"It doesn't strike any of you as odd that Odin would care, at all, about what some Midgardian woman's doing?"

Thor clapped a hand on her back and smiled. "You are more than just a Midgardian woman. You are my friend and teammate and, though your marriage to my brother was short and involuntary, I consider you my sister."

"I believe it is your connection with Loki, his obsession with you, that spurred Odin's interest. He's ordered Heimdall report your actions weekly."

"And the ravens are watching me. That's how I got the message to you."

"Just Huginn," Thor answered.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna say it: you ever think Odin might be Loki in disguise?"

Sif and Thor looked at each other, seriously, for a moment before filling the foyer with loud laughter. "You did not tell me she was so adept at the art of jest, Thor!"

Cassie smiled, awkwardly, as Thor put his hands on her shoulders and walked her into the living room. "What's funny?" Clint asked.

"The absurdity that my brother might've gone back to Asgard, where he is a wanted man set to be imprisoned for the rest of his existence for crimes against the Nine Realms, and somehow took over Odin's life and position as King."

"That is funny. Even Loki isn't crazy enough to go back to Asgard," Tony said, a glass of suspiciously thin eggnog in his hand.

"What if he did it when you thought he was dead; before he even came back for me?" Cassie whispered.

Everyone in the room looked around as they realized she was serious. "Kid, where's this coming from?" Tony asked.

"Odin has taken an interest in her. My tales of her mightiness have made her an interest for him. She thinks this odd." Thor responded.

"You guys are right. It's absurd. Loki would never have made it to the throne room. Heimdall would've seen. He doesn't ever miss anything, right?"

"Exactly," Thor said, with a smile.

Cassie nodded and walked toward the door as the chime rang through the house. *Planted the seed. Nothing else I can do. Except admit that I've known since I was Joanna and I should've told them when I got back from Austria and Thor needs to go depose Loki from the Allfather's throne. Which will stall their trust in me, and rightfully so. Erg. Just not on Christmas, Cassie.* "Phil!" she said, with a smile as she opened the door. She wrapped her arms around him, then turned to the tall blond. "Bobbi, nice to see you up and about. How's the knee?"

"Better than the lung. Leg only hurts when I move."

"Lung hurts when you breathe. Gotcha. Well, I don't have any medical personnel here, but I've got several scientists and Nat and Clint might have some of those SHIELD un-approved pain killers that Phil's supposed to act like he's never taken because he's Director now."

"Uh-oh, Coulson. You sure you wanna introduce us to your (super young, by the way) ex? Might learn some stuff about you." A woman with wavy brunette hair and a black leather jacket said.

"'Skye', right? Wait, 'Daisy' now. Nice to meet you. Cassie. And yeah, young, but strong and awesome and mature for my age."

"You mean, 'our age', right? I mean, if we aren't the same age, then you can't be much older," Daisy started.

"That's not- our relationsh- She's young, but-"

Bobbi laughed. "Let's get inside before Coulson pulls out the whole 'Age ain't nothin' but a number' spiel."

"Ooh, or the 'she seduced me' argument," Daisy replied, as the women walked past the hostess into the foyer where they took off their jackets.

"More likely, the 'You know how hard it is to find someone who understands the job'," Bobbi said, disappearing into the living room.

"We didn't bring any presents. Except Coulson," a sad Scottish accent said as the skinny man who owned it stepped forward.

"That's okay. Got food for you, anyway, Fitz."

"How do you know us all?" Fitz asked, stopping at the doorway.

"I have cultivated an unusual and unexpected friendship with Nick Fury. He put your team together so he told me about you."

"You're friends with Fury?" Coulson asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I showed a little due respect and he showed it back." She pushed the men toward the living room and shut the door. "You know, Fury doesn't have a problem with me dating Clint."

"Probably because Barton isn't old enough to be your father," Natasha called out as they walked into the living room.

"Nat! When did you get here?"

"She walked down the stairs a few minutes ago," Pepper answered.

"Clint left the window unlocked, didn't he?"

Natasha gave her signature smirk. "You shouldn't keep pizza in your bedroom. You'll get bugs."

Cassie turned her gaze to Clint. "There's pizza in my bedroom?"

"I got hungry after you went to sleep. Amazing Nick's is open until 3 am."

"But why is the pizza in the bedroom?"

"The real question is, how'd you miss that when you woke up?" Daisy asked.

"I fell asleep on the couch 'cause I was still cooking. So, he got a pizza at 2 am and took it up to my room to eat."

"I like to be comfy when I'm overloading on carbohydrates and cheese."

"There better not be grease on my comforter."

"Hey, calm down! It's Christmas!" Clint said, with a smile.

"Oh, you got jokes, Barton, but we all know I can kick your well-toned ass, so go get the pizza out of my damn bedroom."

Clint chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

Daisy and Bobbi watched as he bounced up the stairs, two at a time. "Wow. It's weird that you're the grown-up in your relationship. Was it like that with Coulson, too?" Daisy asked.

"Um... Phil and I were both, kinda, the grown-up when we were together. I was grown-up about the domestic stuff and he was grown about everything else."

"Which wasn't much. He wasn't around often," Natasha said, casting her eyes on the Director.

"Fury had me running all over the world, chasing dangerous tech, people and aliens. New York for Stark, New Mexico for Thor and Dr. Selvig. Hong Kong. Portland." Cassie gave a tight smile to the room at the mention of Portland, sitting down next to Pepper. Stark patted her hand as Phil continued. "I was busy, and Cassie knew that I was going to be away a lot. She knew what she was getting into."

"At, what, twenty? She knew what she was getting into?" Pepper chided.

"All right, back off of Phil a little. This isn't the season of shaming. It's the season of giving. And I have presents for most of you, food for everyone. Speaking of, I have to go check the turkey," Cassie said, standing up and heading for the kitchen.

"Need any help in there?" Bobbi shouted.

"No, no. I'm good for now. Might need help in a while but... ooh, actually, if you wanted, I have a crudité platter in here. You could come grab it." Cassie pulled the platter from the fridge and handed it to the gigantic blond woman. "Hummus, ranch, veggies. Nothing that should be offensive to anyone... except maybe the carnivore Asgardians. I don't know if they even eat vegetables."

"I'm sure it's fine. Hey, you know we're just taking the piss out of Coulson for the hell of it, right? It's nothing against you or your relationship. I'm sure it wasn't anything sordid."

"It was true love... for a few years. And then it wasn't." Cassie sighed, pulling open the oven.

"But you've got Clint now. He's a good man. And if you can deal with the infantile way he deals with life, you'll be fine."

"I know. And I can." She stood, baster in hand, and shut the oven door. She looked at Bobbi. "You ever get that feeling, where something is great... it's amazing and awesome and you love it, but something isn't quite right? It's just askew."

"Yeah. Sometimes."

"My whole life is like that. Everything is just a little off center. And I don't know why, so I question everything now... even good men."

Bobbi opened her mouth to say something, but the bell rang again, prompting Cassie to nod at her and walk toward the foyer. "Steve! Wanda and Vision! Hey! Welcome, welcome, and happy holidays!" She stepped out of the way to let the Avengers into the house.

"Happy Christmas!" Wanda said, hugging her.

"Fröhliche Weihnachten, meine Freundin." She gave the brunette a squeeze and turned to Vision with a smile. "Great to see you. I was afraid you'd think this Christmas, or Yule, stuff would be silly."

"Wanda explained the importance. I'd never detract from your rituals. I was, admittedly, a bit lost about what to bring."

"We didn't have much money, but we think you'll be happy with zem," Wanda said.

"I'm just happy you're here. Living room is straight through there. Everybody's already here."

"Sam said he'll be here for dessert," Steve said, closing the door. He looked around the hallway, decked out in reds and greens. "The lights out there are nothing compared to this. You went big on the decorations."

Cassie shrugged. "First Christmas."

"Really?"

"Does it surprise you that Hydra didn't feel the need to tell me about Christmas?" she asked as Steve took his blue coat off and hung it neatly by the door. "I learned about it while I was in the Fridge, through books and stuff."

"You've been out for almost five years, now, right?"

"No one to celebrate with. Fury always made sure Phil was out during the holidays... and after I moved to New York... no one to celebrate with," she repeated.

"I'm sure Nick didn't do it on purpose."

Cassie smiled. "Yeah... he did. He wanted Phil out and away from me as much as possible. Nick and I have discussed this. Anyway, Merry Christmas, Steve."

"Merry Christmas, Cassie," Steve responded, eyeing the mistletoe above her head. He leaned down and pressed his lips to her cheek. "Come on."

"All right, that's everybody except Sam, who won't be here before pie." Cassie walked into the living room and stood next to the tree, Steve leaning against the doorjamb. "So, we can do presents before or after the feast. I'd recommend before, though, 'cause who wants to open presents when they're fighting a tryptophan nap?"

"Break out the presents. That big one, there, that's for me, right?" Tony asked, pointing to a large flat present.

"Actually, yes. Were you shaking gifts while I was out of the room?" she asked, handing the gift to him. He ripped the paper off to reveal a mosaic picture of Iron Man made of thousands of pictures of Tony. "I had a little time while waiting for things to finish at work, so I came up with this. Do you like it?"

"This is... amazing. Look, it's me.... made out of me," Tony said, turning the frame so everyone could see it.

"You had to play to his ego, didn't you?" Pepper joked.

"I knew what he'd like. Okay, so.... Pepper, here you go. Clint, babe. Natasha," Cassie said, handing wrapped boxes to everyone as she said their names. "Now, open them one at a time. I wanna see your faces as you open them. Pepper, you first."

Pepper smiled and tore into the box. "Oh, my. Did you make this?" she asked, pulling up a teal knit scarf.

"Yeah. I tried to make as many of the gifts as I could."

"Where did you find time to learn to knit?" Phil asked.

"Um... I learned to knit a few years ago. I was working on socks... and a blanket." She looked down, then back up with a big smile. "I was gonna do a sweater for Vision, but I decided against it. Natasha, yours next."

Natasha looked down at the long box in her lap, then ran her finger along the end of the paper and slid the box out. Inside was a knife, almost a foot long from end to end. The Russian smiled slightly as she pulled it from it's sheath. "Fallkniven A1 survival blade. 6.375 inch blade, 11 inches because it's full tang. Beautiful, perfectly balanced... this is amazing. Thank you."

"You don't already have one, do you?"

Natasha shook her head. "No. I don't. Thank you."

"Clint." Clint's box was long and when he opened it, a shiny, purple leather quiver greeted him. "I mean, it's obviously not for Tactical work, but... I like it."

"She knows your favorite color? We were married for two years before I knew your dirty secret." Bobbi seemed offended.

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with a man liking purple. I just don't tell anyone because some people disagree with me about that."

"That might be my fault. His first suit was all purple and blue, with a big mask. I told him he looked like a big, gay circus freak," Natasha responded.

"Mostly right," Bobbi responded.

"Seriously?!" Clint glared at the gymnast and the ballerina, before leaning forward to kiss Cassie. "I love it. I'm gonna use it at the farm everyday."

Cassie smiled, a blush creeping across her cheeks. She cleared her throat and walked to the tree, grabbing another object that definitely looked like a picture frame, albeit much smaller than Tony's, and handing it to Wanda. Wanda smiled and pulled open the wrapping paper. Her face dropped into a sad look as tears began to form in her eyes. Vision put a hand on her shoulder as she hugged the small canvass to her.

"Okay, knitting, I get, but when did you learn to paint?" Phil asked, deeply impressed by the detail in her painting of Pietro.

"I got the basic lessons from this little old lady in Hohenheims. She was painting a mural of the Nativity on the wall of Father Nathan's office and I just watched and learned for a while. I work on it when I have time."

"How do you have so much time? You work sixty hours a week at the lab and you go to school. When are you painting and knitting and making mosaics of Tony?" Steve asked, crossing the living room and picking up the painting to examine it as Wanda set it on the couch and hugged the artist.

Cassie smiled. "I make time for my family." She grabbed a small box and handed it across to Coulson, who shook it.

Phil pulled the wrapping off, revealing a small plastic box. He flipped the top off and gasped, "Are these-"

"Mint and vintage. The guy tried to sell me reproductions, but I could tell the difference. I've seen the real thing. I heard what Fury did to yours and I knew it must've broken your heart once you got back from TAHITI."

"These must've cost a fortune!" Phil whispered, flipping carefully through the cards.

"Well, after I caught the guy trying to cheat me, I pulled up some footage of Sokovia on my phone and showed him that I, you know, could put the hurting on him, he gave me a good deal." She smirked as she handed a box to Bobbi.

"Are you sure you wanna give me a present?"

"I'm sure. Go on."

Bobbi tore the package open and pulled out two batons and two bracelets. "Do these... go together?"

"Yeah. The, uh, the bracelets snap on and activate and that way, you can throw your batons and the magnetic pull between the bracelets and batons will bring them right back to your hands."

"That's amazing!" Bobbi exclaimed, testing out the balance of the batons. "These... if they can do what you say... when I get back in the field..."

"If," Coulson responded, still looking at his cards, mesmerized.

"It does! And you will get out in the field again. Okay, who's left? Steve! That box," she said pointing to a big box next to the tree.

He leaned down and ripped open the box, pulling out a stack of albums. "'Music Through the Decades'."

"Starts on the ‘50s and goes on through now. I also added a few albums that I really like. Green Day is real good and Nirvana."

"If there's not any Sabbath in there, then what's the point?"

Cassie smirked at Tony. "No 'Iron Man' but I'm pretty sure 'Crazy Train' is on one of those vinyls."

"This is great, Cassie. Thank you. And thank you for... picking vinyls."

"Of course. They're coming back into vogue, so it's easier to find them."

"Everything old is new again," Clint mumbled.

Cassie giggled before turning to Thor. "I'm still working on yours. It was a tall order and I thought I could get it done before now but I... just haven't had time. I'm working on a communication device that will work between Midgard and Asgard, so you can call Jane or we could call you. Not everyone on the team has Heimdall and Huginn watching them."

"A tall order? I assume this means a difficult thing and yes, that would be a 'tall order'. Even Asgard doesn't have such a device."

"If anyone can do it-" Clint started.

"I can. But if I don't care to try, Cassie's got you," Tony said, taking a drink of his nog.

"I'll figure it out. Promise."

"Wow. She's an amazing gift-giver," Daisy mused, taking one of Bobby's batons and tossing it in the air.

"Yeah. Now it's her turn. Grab a gift." Natasha pointed at the tree.

"Allow me." Thor volunteered, grabbing the poorly-wrapped pole as Sif handed her a pair of gloves.

Cassie looked between the Asgardians in confusion. "I need gloves to open my present?" she asked. They just nodded, smiling, as the SHIELD agents looked up, nervously. She pulled the gloves on and looked down.

"That's not..." Phil set down the cards and stood, looking to Thor as he handed the pole to Cassie.

Cassie ripped the paper down and gasped as she was met with a bright silver staff, etched with Asgardian runes. "Oh, my. This is beautiful."

"That's a Berserker Staff. Nobody touch it," Daisy warned.

"Are you sure that's a good gift for-" Phil started, looking worried.

"She is mighty. She can handle the Berserk." Sif answered.

"Okay, somebody explain this one to me. Berserker Staff?"

"Cass, it's, uh, an Asgardian weapon. It gives you a massive dose of adrenaline and then, it pulls on all of your worst memories to give you a rage like you've never felt before. It's supposed to be really good in battle, but you can ask May... it's pretty horrible."

"She is mighty, son of Coul. She pulled herself from the dream this witch created when even Thor could not. If there were ever a mortal strong enough to handle the Berserker staff, it is she," Sif responded.

Cassie looked down at the staff on her lap in wonder. "Horrible but really good in battle. It's the Hulk of alien weaponry. Thank you, Thor, so much. I know this must be a huge deal, to give a Midgardian one of these."

Thor smiled his bright white smile again. "You are not just a Midgardian. You are my sister. It is no huge deal, Lady Cassie."

"I don't know if she can handle-" Bobbi started.

"On the May-to-Ward scale of handling shit, where would you place her, Coulson?" Daisy asked.

"Well, I... think that's a question for Barton. 'Cause she didn't really have any rage when I was with her, so I don't know how she deals with it."

Cassie stood as Clint opened his mouth to answer. "How about that's a question for me. I deal with my considerable rage just fine. I became a superhero with it. I don't dwell on it, but I use it, every time I fight. If that's what this thing does, then good. And don't ask my ex-boyfriend if I can handle something, Daisy." She set the staff against the wall and smiled at Clint. "Your turn, babe."

Clint grabbed a box from under the tree and a Christmas card from the mantel over the fireplace. "Box is from me; card is from Katie."

"Ooh, the other Hawkeye sent me a gift? She's never even met me."

"She insisted."

"When do I get to meet Miss Bishop?" Cassie asked, opening the card.

"Uh... sometime when Bobbi and Nat aren't around. Too many of my important women in one place... three of you makes me nervous, four would kill me."

"'I know how stressful working with Barton can be, I can only imagine how dating him must kill. De-stress on me. Merry Christmas.' Holy shit. This is a wristband for Aphrodite Day Spa. This is the most amazing spa in central Washington. It's several thousand dollars for an all-inclusive wristband. I feel bad, now. I didn't get anything for her."

"Don't worry. I've told you her daddy is rich, right? What do you get the hero who has everything?"

"Wow." She set the card down and opened the box. "Oh, my. Is this a real Henkel?"

"Euroline. That's the one you wanted, right?" Clint asked.

"I... barely mentioned that I liked it. This is... awesome."

"He got you a kitchen knife? Lame," Tony muttered.

"A ZWILLING J.A. Henkel chef knife. This is, like, the filet minon of chef's knives." She defended. "Thank you, Clint. You are amazing."

"I think we should probably go next. 'Worst for last' is not the way, you know?" Wanda said, grabbing Vision's hand and each grabbing their gifts. Cassie smiled and opened the box Wanda handed over. "I know you spent a bit of time in Austria. Thought you might want to have a bit of Europe to eat."

"Hey! Mozartkugel!"

"What the hell is Mozartkugel?" Tony asked.

"It's pistachio marzipan and nougat covered in dark chocolate. It's amazing. Helga got me addicted before I could even pronounce 'Mozartkugel'. Thank you! How'd you know?" Wanda looked down, sheepishly. "You took it from my head. That's okay. Thank you."

Vision handed her a small box, which she quickly opened, pulling out a small ceramic Santa figurine. "Aww. It's cute! Thank you, Vision." He nodded at her.

"In the vein of 'let us not leave worst for last', me next," Pepper said, pushing a card into her hands. "It's just a gift card."

"To... Sephora? High-end make up. You rock, Pepper. I was just telling Clint that I need to learn how to do my makeup."

"And I was telling her she doesn't need it."

"Well, that's a thing Barton does well," Bobbi said to Natasha, who just nodded.

Cassie smiled at Barton and thanked Pepper. Steve looked sheepishly at the group. "I, uh, feel pretty horrible about my gift. All these great gifts and... I went practical with mine."

"An umbrella is very practical," Vision said, causing everyone to cast their eyes down.

"An umbrella. For Seattle. I get it. Cute, practical. Just like you, Steve," Cassie said, with a big smile.

"All right. My turn," Tony said, handing her a large jewelry box. "It was my mother's."

Cassie was breathless as she looked down at an Art Deco necklace with an opal and two large diamonds set into a platinum pendant. "Tony... you can't... I can't."

"Pepper doesn't do opal," Tony said, pulling the necklace from the box and holding it up to her neck. "It's gonna look great on you."

"But this was your mom's."

"My mom would have loved you. She was a strong woman, too, you know. Had to be, to put up with my father's bull. Look, I'm not wearing it and I've got two important women in my life and one of them doesn't do opal."

"He really wants you to have it," Pepper whispered, encouragingly.

"But, this is..."

"You always argue when I try to give you stuff. You should know it's futile, by now," Tony said, clasping the necklace together behind her neck and stepping back to marvel at how it looked on her. "Yup. I was right. Hangs just right."

"Here," Natasha said, pulling a bow out from behind the couch and handing it to Cassie. "It's a compound, not a longbow, but compounds are easier to learn on. Or so the guy at the shop told me."

"Wow, thanks so much." Cassie looked around and smiled. "Well, if that's everything, turkey should be-"

"That's not everything. Coulson brought something," Fitz said, walking out of the room.

Phil nodded and walked away, grabbing Cassie's hand and pulling her out of her house and into her front yard. "So, I remember how much you liked LOLA and how much you enjoyed that motorcycle run we did from Malibu to San Fran, so I had Mack and Fitz put together this..." He opened up the back of the black van they'd arrived in, revealing a Harley Sportster. "It's an '03 XL 1200. Still got the endorsement on your license?"

"You... motorcycle?" She was dumbfounded.

"Not just a motorcycle. You think he'd have us work on a regular motorcycle?" Fitz asked as Coulson rolled the bike out of the van. "Well, Mack, maybe, but not me."

"Fitz is the guy who made our stealth tech work," Coulson said, proudly. "And he made quick work of the science that makes LOLA hover. Meet HARLEE. Hover Aircraft Requiring a Little Extra Effort."

"That's a horrible name," Clint commented.

"It's better than his first idea. Wanted me to figure out a way to make the acronym PHIL," Fitz responded.

"Oh, like LOLA was named after his first love," Daisy said with smile.

"This is amazing, Fitz. Did you do the whole thing?"

"Well, Mack did a lot of the work on the... the normal motorcycle parts, but the... additional bits were all me," Fitz replied, leaning down to examine his work on the HARLEE.

"This is amazing," Cassie repeated, hugging the Scotsman, who stiffened. "Thank you, Fitz."

"Thank him? Where's my thanks?" Coulson asked.

"How much help did you give the poor overworked Leopold Fitz?" Cassie asked, releasing the man and turning to the SHIELD director.

Coulson lifted his prosthetic hand. "I couldn't help much with this."

"Oh, has he been using that as an excuse since Mack cut it off?" Natasha asked.

Bobbi, Daisy and Fitz all nodded. Cassie laughed. "Thank you for thinking of it, Phil. I love it! Now, let's get inside, it's freezing out here. Let's go eat some turkey!"

Steve smirked. "I'm fine in the cold. Mind if I stay back, appreciate your present?"

"All right, but don't go becoming a Cap-cicle again." Cassie smirked as she ushered everyone else into the house.

Steve grabbed Clint's arm and pulled him away from the door, close to the Harley and forced him to bend to look at the bike. "She's not sleeping."

"Yeah? How'd I sneak a large 3-cheese past her at 2 am, then?"

"There's no way she had time to do everything and still get sleep, Clint. She was either exhausted from her insomnia, or she took something to make herself sleep."

"Drugs?"

"Lorazepam. That's what Banner gave her when she came back from Austria."

Clint pulled back, standing. "How do you know that?"

"Because I was worried." Steve stood, too. "When she came back from Austria, she should've been rested. Happy. But she wasn't. She was exhausted, I could see it when you walked in, so I went to Banner after you and Natasha debriefed me and she was passed out in his lab. Bruce told me that he'd given her anxiety meds that let her sleep. He told me that she'd been having nightmares, terrors that persisted until she saw Dr. Garner."

"So, what, you think she's dreaming of Loki again?"

"I don't think she was dreaming of Loki before, Clint. What did she learn from that first session with Doc Garner?"

"That she wasn't evil like she thought."

"And the nightmares stopped. It wasn't Loki that caused her insomnia in Austria. Heck, she dealt with a Loki dream in enough time to pick me up and carry me off that ship in Africa. So, what could possibly be causing her insomnia now?"

Clint looked down, thinking of the plane ride to Sokovia. Wanda had gotten her to admit that she was afraid of whatever pieces of her were leaking. If anything was keeping her awake at night, that would be it. "She's fine, Cap. Don't worry about her," he lied as he turned away.

Steve watched as Clint walked into the house. "Fine. I'll talk to her about it."

As he walked into the dining room, Cassie held up a postcard. "So, I got this a few days ago, wanted to share it with you. Postcard, no return address, it looks like it's just blank, but... run a black light over it... Bam! QR code." She pulled her phone out and scanned the invisible code. "When scanned, it brings us to a far corner of the Dark Web housing just one video."

"Merry Christmas, guys," a familiar voice called out from her cell. "From scenic all-points nowhere. As you can see, but not enough to determine my location, I'm back doing what I should always be doing. I'm helping people, I'm not hurting anyone. I haven't had an incident since Sokovia and I'm gonna keep it that way."

Cassie paused the video as Steve sat down in the empty seat next to Natasha. "Despite the next part... I've analyzed it, of course, but I'm sure some of you will want to try it yourself."

"Please, stop looking for me. I can't be an Avenger, anymore. I can't come back because then I'd have to be Him and... I can't lose control again. Please, let me be. Merry Christmas, Avengers, and have a great New Year."

Natasha reached across Clint and snatched the card away from Cassie. "Did you analyze the paper stock?"

"I wanted to leave something for you to do, Natasha. Merry Christmas," Cassie said, walking away from the table to the kitchen. She returned with the turkey platter on one arm and the ham platter on the other. Steve stood and followed her into the kitchen as she grabbed the dishes carrying the sides. He stacked what was left onto his arms and carried them to the table behind her. "Thank you, Steve. Such a gentleman."

She walked to the head of the table and smiled at everyone. "I really wanna thank you guys for coming. You know, this is first Christmas... for a couple of us, and I..." She cleared her throat as tears started to sting her eyes. "I am so blessed to have you all. I've never had a family. Phil was the closest thing... And now, I have a... feast full of people who wanted to spend the holiday with me. I finally have people to share my life with and I could not be happier."

Clint reached out and took her hand in his, stroking his thumb across the back of it, reassuringly. "Anyway, thanks. Um, let's eat," she said, picking up a carving knife and a fork and leaning forward to cut into the ham.

"What, no Grace?" Tony smirked.

"Religious dinner shall be had at a later date." As she sliced into the meat, a flash of memory hit her. A man tied to a chair as a knife sliced through his thigh. His eyes clenched tightly in pain as he ground out 'Patrick Mackenzie, SHIELD level 5'. Cassie dropped the fork to the platter, her fingers tightening around the knife handle.

"You okay?" several guests chorused.

She blinked and cleared her throat. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. Just emotional. Somebody wanna- Wanda, stay out of my head," she instructed as she set the knife down and slipped away from the table.

Phil took over cutting the ham and Clint pulled the turkey into arm's reach, as Steve excused himself and followed the hostess. He knocked, lightly, at the bathroom door. "Hey. You all right?"

"I'm fine," she croaked.

"You're crying." It was a guess, but not a particularly hard one.

"Well, it's an emotional day."

"Are you sure it's that? Are you sure this isn't more of whatever's keeping you up at night?"

"You know, I told Wanda to stay out of my head, I figured it went without saying for the rest of you."

"Come on, Cassie. Talk to me." The lock clicked and Steve pushed in, locking it back behind him. She was sitting on the sink, eyes already red and puffy. "What's wrong?"

"Me. I'm wrong." Steve stood silently and waited for her confession. "I... I'm remembering."

"And that's not a good thing?"

She shook her head. "I'm remembering Hydra. I'm remembering being Vierhundert Zweiundfünfzig. I'm remembering who I was with them. I think I hurt people, Steve, maybe even killed."

Steve placed his hand firmly on her shoulder. "Cassie, it's-"

"Don't patronize me, Steve. Don't tell me it's okay because it's not okay," she snapped.

"It's not okay. But mostly, it's not okay because of how it's affecting you." Steve reached his free hand into his pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, sweeping it across her cheeks. "Whatever you did when Hydra had you, that wasn't you."

"You don't understand. If... if I remember that, if I remember who I was... doesn't that make me her?"

Steve sighed, pulling her down from the sink. "I think that's a question for Doctor Garner. Have you talked to him about this?"

She shook her head. "He was on vacation and... he hasn't answered my calls since he got back. He's busy helping Phil with the whole... Inhumans thing."

"And Fury? He must know who you were when he grabbed you from Hydra. Did you try him?"

"He told me not to ask. Said I wouldn't like the answers."

"Nick's never been big on questions. Look." Steve pressed the handkerchief into her palm. "You have people, you know. What you were saying about having family... you should talk to them. If there is a group of people who knows how to deal with... bad pasts and fuzzy memories, it's us. You aren't wrong. You're perfect the way you are."

Cassie nodded and smiled, slightly. "Thanks. Let's go eat."

***********************************

As they watched everyone get into their cars, Cassie leaned her head on Clint's shoulder. She could tell by his protective and comforting stance that he knew something was wrong, but he wouldn't ask. He was great that way. "Merry Christmas, Cassie."

"Merry Christmas, Clint. You gonna stay for a couple days?"

"Of course. Long as you want me here."

"I love you. Wanna go in and call Laura, see if Barney ever showed?"

"Yeah. Come on." Clint turned and pushed her through the door.

KITCHEN SINK TAGS @heyitscam99 @wonderlandfandomkingdom @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mrs-meghan-winchester @henrymorganme @lonely-skys @allykat2108

#cassie writes stuff #avengers fanfiction #red queen chronicles #clint/ofc #ofc #christmas fic

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floencepugh · 2 years ago

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Happy Valentine's Day!!! 🤍🩷❤️💘🥀🌹🌷💐

happy valentine’s day katie!!! hope your day is filled with love 💖

#laur’s got mail!#answered

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nephoptales · 4 years ago

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TOP 10 BEST RAPPERS FROM NEPAL

Here’s the list of Top 10 Best Rappers from Nepal. This list is completely based on my personal opinion and the list may not satisfy everyone. If you have any comments regarding the post then you can comment on or contact us via our official email address.

1. Yama Buddha

Anil Adhikari aka Yama Buddha was and probably is the finest rapper from Nepal. He had gained popularity from his song Saathi where he dipicted a story of two friends who got into drug addiction and how their life became. This song is still considered a masterpiece in Nephop Community. He was the creator and the presenter of the Popular Rap Battle show Raw Barz. He was found dead on his apartment in London, on 2017. His popular songs include Saathi, Yo Prasanga, Foothpath Mero Ghar, Aama and a lot more.

2. MC Flo

Anurag Sharma aka MC Flo is also one of the best rappers from Nepal. He’d been underground for a long period of time and is recently on the commercial part of Nephop Industry. He’s been giving great songs to Nephop. His popular songs include Hami Sangai Ta Chhau Ni, Aawaz, Maile Haasna Sikey and many more.

3. Laure

Ashish Rana aka Laure is probably the first rapper from Nepal who had been commercial. He gained fans from Raw Barz where he competed against Uniq Poet. Lately, he’s been judging a reality show, Himalaya Rodies. His popular songs include Mero Solta ft Gunace, Nephop Ko Bato, Case No 420 ft Gunace and other.

4. Uniq Poet

Utsaha Joshi aka Uniq Poet has been delivering awesome songs to Nephop Industry. Since he appeared at Raw Barz battling with Ashish Rana aka Laure, he had come to spotlight. Been underrated for so many years, gradually Uniq is coming to the mainstream of Nephop. His popular songs include Kaalo, Mero Desh Birami, 1994 and many more.

5. Vten

Samir Ghising aka Vten gained popularity from his song ‘Churot’ on Girish Khatiwada’s vlog. Lately he has become the most popular in Nepal having fans all over the country and also internationally. Vten is the first rapper from Nepal to gain million subscribers on Youtube. His popular songs include Katha ft Dharmendra Sewan, Hami Yastai Ta Honi Bro, Simsime Pani and many others.

6. Professor Trix

I believe Professor Trix is among one of the talented but underrated rappers from Nepal. Trix has mostly stayed underground and ocassionally coming to mainstream. Bishal Chemjong, popularly known by his stage name Professor Trix, has been actively participating on rap battles. His popular songs include Hinda, Kathmandu, Kura Kaatney and others.

7. Sacar aka Lil Buddha

Sacar Adhikari aka Lil Buddha is among one of the rappers having sick flows. Sacar is good at delivering contents having enough skills. But lately he’s been badly affected due to drugs and is gradually trying to come up. His song ‘King of Nephop’ collaborating with Uniq Poet is one of the most viewed music video even by international audience. His popular songs include King of Nephop ft Uniq Poet, Kehi Mitho Baat, Kt Nepali, Kabja and others.

8. Yodda

Shanam Gurung aka Yodda is a UK based Nepali rapper. He is also among the best rappers from Nepal with unique style of rapping. He came to spotligh via his song ‘Kharab Bani’. His popular songs include Kharab Bani, Vanna Sakdina, Goppey, Malai Bachauna and other.

9. Nasty

Aviesk Baniya, known professionally as Nasty, is also among the finest rappers from Nepal. He had also produced for Yama Buddha and has worked closely with him. Recently he has been dropping songs on Youtube on his label Eye Crown along with his fellow mates including Grizzle, Brhymin and V$X. His popular songs include Hype On The Beat, Machaidim and other.

10. Mr.D

Sandip Bista aka Mr.D is one of the emerging rappers from Nepal. He came to spotlight after his popular song ‘Bandai Chha Nepal’. He has been influenced alot by Yama Buddha. His popular songs include Bandai Chha Nepal, Gobar Lyath, Khadi and others.

– Nephop Tales

#nephoptales #yamabuddha #mcflo #laure #uniqpoet #vten #professortrix #lilbuddha #nasty #mrd #yodda

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whoreiaki-kakyoin · 2 years ago

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ALSO ON THE STARDEW BRAIN ROT I SEE!!!

GODDDD YES I’ve been sucked back in so hard it’s crazy!! I’m trying to see if I can hit completion on this save file and phew 😪

#i just hit the achievement for shipping one of everything and FINALLY completed the museum collection #i am SO CLOSE to catching all the fish but after that I still have so much to doooooo ahhh!!!#got mail 💌#momokujo #laur games #playing sdv

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tsoanatural · 3 years ago

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do you ever fucking shut up or even sleep? like how the fuck are you not dead yet?

no on the shutting up.

as for the other two, only a mortal needs to sleep and we’ve clearly established that i am not one, so therefore i cannot die either.

hope this answers your question and if it doesn’t feel free to fuck off

#also who the fuck do you think you are #literally only five people get to talk to me like that without getting punched #and i'm pretty sure you're not de morgan sam rae or laur #so fuck the hell off dickwad #go drink some water #and calm the fuck down #re-evaluate your life if you find yelling at strangers on the internet fucking acceptable #don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out #i got anon hate!!#i got mail!!

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stillellensibley · 5 years ago

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Out in the World: Still Life Photography between Art and Commerce

The intertwining of art and commercial photography is nowhere more evident than in the genre of still life

Albert Renger-Patzsch, advertisement for Kaffee Hag, from Die Welt ist schön (The World is Beautiful) Kurt Wolff, Munich, 1928 / Andy Warhol ‘Brillo Boxes’ 1964 From Andy Warhol Moderna Museet, Stockholm, 1968

Photography may have triumphed in art over the last couple of decades, but questions linger as to whether art gets the best out of it. Many artistically minded photographers admit to finding art an interesting place to visit but they wouldn’t want to live there. It can be airless, self-serving and very slow. (Photography permits rapid artistic development for those who want it, but curators and collectors rarely do.) Moreover, given that art photography triumphed by remaking, diverting or otherwise contemplating the medium’s ‘applied’ forms – such as the document, the film still, the advertisement and the archival image – there is always much in common between art photographs and those we see elsewhere.

Karen Knorr The Principles of Political Economy 1990. Colour Cibachrome 114×91 cm From the series ‘Capital’

Nothing demonstrates this better than the promiscuous still life photograph, present everywhere from the gallery wall and the family album to billboards and mail-order catalogues. Picked fruit and cut flowers, artefacts of glass, plastic, wood and metal, objects rare and commonplace, the still life bridges art and commerce. Its rise from the lowest genre to the equal of landscape and portraiture followed the rise of commodity culture. In the 1820s and ’30s, the pioneers of photography could not resist gathering objects before their cameras. Nicéphore Niépce shot a dining table laid for one. Louis Daguerre contrived arrangements of classical sculpture and paintings. William Henry Fox Talbot showed off his china and glassware. Were these images documents, pictures for contemplation or advertising? All three. The still life was ideal for a world of accelerated manufacture and exchange, mobilizing desires and expressing tastes. Even the humble table, the basic support for the still life, was unthinkable without its marketable image. As Karl Marx famously declared in his 1867 passage on commodity fetishism, a table ‘not only stands with its feet on the ground, but in relation to all other commodities, it stands on its head, and evolves out of its wooden brain grotesque ideas, far more wonderful than if it were to begin dancing of its own free will.’1 Two years later, Comte de Lautréamont was after the new beauty of ‘the chance encounter, on an operating table, of a sewing machine and an umbrella’.2 Such wild tableaux! In the hallucination of capital the still life is a hybrid of sculpture and montage.

When photographers made their bid for modern artistic significance in the 1920s many were key figures in the medium’s applied fields, notably reportage, portraiture and the advertising still life. They included Man Ray, Edward Steichen, Laure Albin-Guillot, Helmar Lerski and Albert Renger-Patzsch. Others made still lifes that could be taken for advertisements (Edward Weston, László Moholy-Nagy, André Kertész, Heinz Hajek-Halke). But as Modernists true to their métier, the aim was to make good photographs and the ‘art’ part could be left to take care of itself. Photographers as different as Man Ray and Walker Evans insisted their medium was not art but it could be an art – a distinction lost on many today. Exhibiting or publishing a book of one’s commissioned work might be enough to shift the emphasis from the things depicted to the depiction, from anonymity to named author, from paid work to Works, from applied art to fine art. Context, as any photographer will tell you, is key.

Mike Mandel & Larry Sultan, Evidence, 1977 Clatworthy Colorvues, 1977

This indirect path to artistic status produced extraordinary images – and they could only have been made that way. A weak claim to art can be a great stimulus for photography, but a strong claim can crush it. This is why so many contemporary photographers feel constrained by the anxious categories and stifling agendas of art world photography and look to the freedom of that older attitude. But this has proved difficult. In the 1950s and ’60s, commercial photography became wary of the unpredictability of art and tried to develop a reliable science of image design (the TV series Mad Men, 2007–ongoing, nails this shift brilliantly). Images would be vetted or even designed in the boardroom. In his 1964 essay ‘Rhetoric of the Image’, Roland Barthes examined a still life advertisement for Panzani, a food company contrived to connote ‘Italianicity’ to the French.3 It was the start of ‘photography theory’. Branded tins and packets intermingle with fresh fruit and vegetables spilling from a rustic net bag against a scarlet backdrop. It was a ruthlessly designed image and, like its makers, Barthes accounted for its every aspect from colour, lighting, composition and text to its committee authorship. He described the ideological sleight of hand that endows manufactured goods with ‘naturalness’. And it is photography that facilitates the slippage most effectively. It is unique in appearing to point at things transparently (‘there it is’) while fashioning appearance artificially (‘this is how it is’). Photographs are taken and made, natural and cultural. Barthes’s semiotic critique also aimed to be a science of popular signs and advertising got the analysis it deserved.

This calculated attitude was quite of a piece with Pop art’s approach to commodity images. Andy Warhol’s stacked ‘Brillo Boxes’ (1964) were a strategic fusion of the readymade and the still life, and it made little difference whether you saw them exhibited or in photographic reproduction: the flash of recognition was all. Warhol, the former ad man, grasped Marcel Duchamp’s insight that the industrial/commercial object plucked and placed incongruously (like Lautréamont’s monstrous encounter) will hit the viewer with the deadpan force of a snapshot. But a less remarked legacy of Pop was the polarizing of art’s attitudes to commerce into rictus-grin irony or high- minded disgust. It led to a fraught attitude to money, to the commodity status of art works themselves and, indirectly, to a stand- off between art photography and applied photography. Since the 1960s, the still life photograph in art has passed through the polemic Postmodern image–texts of Barbara Kruger (a former art director at Condé Nast), the post-classical allegories of Olivier Richon and Karen Knorr (whose first joint publication was a cookery book), and the photography-as-sculpture-montage-joke of Fischli/Weiss, Gabriel Orozco and Vik Muniz (a former advertiser). All of which is Art with a capital ‘A’, all of it keen to distance itself from the still life as Commerce (capital ‘C’), even though commerce is often the subject matter.

Olivier Richon, Studium, 2003

Consider two examples from either side of Pop, both by figures better known for other things. In 1955, Walker Evans published ‘Beauties of the Common Tool’ in Fortune magazine: five exquisitely restrained still lifes of one-dollar pliers and wrenches. Reproduced larger than life, they were monuments to blue-collar labour. In his accompanying text Evans praised them for holding out against overdesigned and image-led manufacture, while his photos resisted the graphic opulence typical of Fortune. In 1992, the BBC commissioned 20 artists to make public billboards, including the young Damien Hirst, who was the only one keen to do more than simply re-present gallery art. He approached a professional still life photographer to help shoot exquisitely restrained pairs of objects: a hammer with a peach and a cucumber with a pot of Vaseline. They formed two panels of a rotating tri-vision billboard; the third read ‘The Problems with Relationships’. On the street it looked like advertising with nothing to sell but an idea. Evans and Hirst were fashioning still life as a pitch-perfect intervention beyond art. However, whereas Hirst remade his billboard in 1996, exhibited it and sold it, Evans let his magazine work slip into obscurity.

Few photographers find these options appealing, preferring a more open situation. The work of British photographer Jason Evans is exemplary here. For 20 years he has moved between still life, portraiture, fashion and music photography, and between commissions, collaborations, websites and images made for fun. He has exhibited in major museums but refuses any hierarchy between the wall, the magazine page and the computer screen. Everything he makes is driven by curiosity about the medium: its processes, transformative qualities and its powers of proposition.

Barbara Kruger, Untitled (You are seduced by the sex appeal of the inorganic), 1987. Silkscreen 1.3×1.3 m

A request from i-D magazine to shoot a Miu Miu skirt is an opportunity to see clothing as a Modernist still life or sculpture. Christmas present packaging by Gareth Pugh is photographed for Fantastic Man magazine with the precisionist flair of the machine aesthetic. An experiment by the design provocateurs Dunne & Raby to harness energy emitted by live rodents leads to images that update the paranoiac lab science of the 1950s. When Evans exhibits such laconically elegant photographs they carry this astute assimilation of the best applied photography of the past. Little surprise then that Evans’s touchstone is Evidence (1977), the gnomic book of photographs gathered by artists Mike Mandel and Larry Sultan from police, scientific and fire department archives. Strip the most functional photography to its bare essentials and you’re left with enigmas, not facts.

Jason Evans Miu Miu skirt 2005 Photograph for i-D magazine. Styled by Adam Howe

With its use of images and objects from the recent past, there is a twinge of ‘retro’ here, comparable in some respects to the work of photographers – for all their differences – such as Christopher Williams and Roe Ethridge. This is less nostalgia than a sign of how hard it is to develop an artistic relation to the very new. ‘Design just a little dated will interest any artist. Design current is always terrible. Anyone who has tried to find a good contemporary lamp or clock will know what I mean.’4 So declared Walker Evans. How perceptive. He wasn’t writing off the aesthetic of any era, merely noting that not-newness is what often permits artistic access.

Countering the restraint and historical consciousness of his black and white work, Jason Evans’s colour photography is a nower-than- now world of crazed form and crafty process. The hugely popular website thedailynice.com is an outlet for his compulsive photo-notations that have no other home. There’s only ever one image to see, which changes daily, and there is no archive. What you are likely to get is a disarming configuration of colour and shape presented as a considered observation of the made stuff that fills the material world. Fittingly, when thedailynice.com briefly became a gallery exhibition in 2009, visitors could help themselves to prints from a big cardboard box on a table.

Walker Evans, Page from ‘Beauties of the Common Tool’, Fortune, July 1955

Evans’s artwork for musicians such as Wild Beasts and Four Tet reminds you that record covers can still be hotly anticipated and dearly prized. The sleeve for Four Tet’s There is Love in You (2010) started with the scavenging of test prints made each morning by the digital photo labs of central London. Colour spectrums, bright flowers and fine geometric grids will tell technicians if their printers are working correctly. These were pinned on his studio wall and photographed on colour negative film, which was then subjected to a hole-punch.

Gabriel Orozco, Cats and Watermelons, 1992

ason Evans, artwork for the Four Tet album There is Love in You, Domino Records 2010

The tiny, rough-edged discs were arranged meticulously on a sheet of glass from which a positive print was made. The digital/analogue blend is a consummate visual expression of the electro-acoustic music. Look closely and see that it could only have been made this way. This is still life as pure process, as profound as the best of the process-driven photography in art, but it’s less po-faced and lot more joyous.

This fluid, exploratory and untormented attitude to image-making has much in common with that earlier era of only vague distinctions between art photography and applied photography. If Evans’s refreshing work is now coming to wider attention it’s because it offers so many paths for photography around the Art Obstacle. Besides, in a climate where we are now provided with media-ready art the way supermarkets provide oven-ready chickens, doesn’t most art photography start to seem more applied than fine?

Karl Marx, Capital: A Critique of Political Economy, vol 1., translated by Ben Fowkes, Vintage, New York, 1977, p. 163

Comte de Lautréamont, Les Chants de Maldoror, Œuvres complètes, Guy Lévis Mano, Paris, 1938, p. 256

Roland Barthes, ‘Rhétorique de l’image’ (Rhetoric of the Image), Communications no. 4, Seuil, Paris, 1964, p. 40–51. Published in English in Barthes’ anthology Image-Music-Text, Fontana, 1977

Walker Evans, ‘Collectors Items’, Mademoiselle, May 1963. Evans’s statement accompanied his photographs of thrift store windows, shot as if they were found still-life compositions. See David Campany, Walker Evans: the magazine work, Steidl, 2014

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sauvreng · 8 years ago

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soooo, i got dav back from all my betas, but aside from my dislocated shoulder (ow×1000), i’ve also had to tolerate my roommates friends and such coming over three days in a row. i want to shoot myself, srsly. it’s bad enough i have to endure my roommates everyday, but their friends, too? earlier, there were four people who do not live here, in the house. at my roommate’s invite. the only one i was glad to see is my lil sis, @laure-ley.

protip in dealing with an aion: lock the aion in a large, airy room (they are highly claustrophobic), and prevent anyone from entering the room for a month, then maybe allow one person, for a few hours. the aion will thrive.

how not to deal with an aion: force social on them. the aion will slowly implode and self-destruct.

tomorrow, roommate has arranged a movie marathon with someone i’ve met maybe once. my anxiety is through the roof.

soooooo, dav will be updated whenever i manage to get a few days alone and quiet to rest and recharge and then edit the chapter for posting. all hate mail should be directed at my roommates.

#dis aliter visum

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5hfanfiction · 8 years ago

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Say You Won't Let Go - Chapter 4

Lauren’s POV

A month has passed since the issue with Austin at Camila’s café, we were kind of inseparable now, every day i would walk in Crazy Wisdom Cafe at 9 am to get my usual coffee, sat at my usual table and grabbed a different book every 3 days, that was the good thing about the café it had a huge variety of books, you can never get bored in there.

Camila was always around and sat next to me with a book on her hands, i would look up every now and then and stare at her, i loved the way her hair would fall over her face and she’d have to tuck it behind her ear, i always knew she had reached an interesting part on the book when she scrunched up her eyebrows and bit her bottom lip, sometimes she even put the book down when it was “too much for her to take’’.

I didn’t even realize when i started to look at Camila different, Dinah would point it out every time she could and Normani would just smirk at us, Camila seemed completely oblivious towards all of the things the girls said around us. I really like her, i knew it from the moment i saw her at the bar that day, i loved her chocolate brown eyes, her long hair, her smile, the mole on the top of her forehead, her laugh, her dumb jokes that apparently only made me laugh, i was falling and hard but i didn’t care at all. She went to the hospital with me to get my thumb checked out and the doctor commented on how nice my ‘’girlfriend’’ was for not letting me go to the hospital by myself, we both blushed but neither of us denied what he said.

After a good time reading at the Café i’d send some emails with my resume, i was still looking for a job, after a long useless conversation with my parents, my dad offered me a job in his company, he was the CEO of Jauregui Corp, a fashion company that owned several famous brands, i didn’t take the job because i need to succeed by myself, my dad understood but my mom was pissed, to her i was a disappointment, "you have to be thankful for what we give you and stop being a lazy ungrateful girl” i was so thankful for everything they gave and continue giving me but i had to do this by myself.

I was now sitting in my usual place alone, Camila wasn’t here yet which was weird because she’s always around. I finished my first coffee but kept reading waiting for her to arrive.

“Did someone order a coffee of the day with one splenda and a heart shaped with milk?” I heard someone say behind me, i put my book down and turn to face the voice. Keana was there holding the cup with one hand and holding a chocolate chip cookie with the other.

"Uhm it sounds like something i would order" i said smiling at her, she smiled back and placed the things on the small table in front of me, then she took my empty cup to take it with her.

"I thought i could save you the trouble of getting up and ask for it" she said.

"Oh my god Lauren i’m sorry i’m late i just saw something really cool on my way here and i had to bring it" i heard Camila say “oh hi Keana” she smiled at the barista and keana smiled back excusing herself, Camila sat down and pulled the chair closer to me, she had her arms on her back hiding something and a dorky smile on her cute face.

"So i was on my way here and there’s this flower shop right on the corner… and well i saw this particular flower and i’ve never seen it in this color before and yeah..“ she said the last part showing me what she was hiding behind her back, i felt my muscles immediately relax when i saw Camila holding a glass small vase with a green orchid with a shade of light pink and white in the middle. ‘’it’s for you’’ she said handing me the vase.

"Camz it’s so beautiful” i said taking the vase and getting a better look at it, i wasn’t expecting this at all, no one’s ever given me flowers before, it was just a single orchid but it was so freaking beautiful, I’ve never seen them in this color.

"I’m glad you liked it" she stopped and smiled at me, i was still staring at the flower. “I always walk by that flower shop and it’s the first time i’ve seen a green orchid and i went in and asked the owner what it meant” i could see she was trying to figure out how to say what she was thinking. “ and she said it meant… uhmm.. beauty and strength” camila was blushing so hard right now, i felt my cheeks hurt from how much i was smiling. “And it reminded me of you because.. well you’re obviously beautiful and not only on the outside, but you have a beautiful mind and heart Lauren… and strength because you’re one of the strongest people I’ve met, you have so much going in your life but you always greet everyone with a smile on your face no matter how shitty your day or life is” She continued with a small smile on her face and her bottom lip between her teeth, i was kind of speechless right now, i wanted to tell her how much i liked her and how beautiful and perfect she was but my brain wasn’t working so well.

"Camila i-“ i started

"And i know I’ve known you for a month but it feels like I’ve gotten to know so much about you in that time than people who I’ve known for years… ” i swear this girl never lets me finish. “i guess what i’m trying to say is that you’re an amazing person Lauren and you mean a lot to me.. so i hope this isn’t weird” she took a deep breath and looked at me expecting an answer.

Instead of an answer, i placed the flower on the table and got up to hug her, i put my arms around her waist and her arms were around my neck.

"Thank you so much" i simply said squeezing her.

"Keana looks like she’s about to kill me" i heard Camila whispering in my ear, i laughed and gave a step back trying to end the hug.

"No wait… this feels nice" she said pulling me back and hugging me tighter.

I was driving to Dinah’s apartment, She had called me earlier to ask me to come to a movie night hosted by her. “Bring your cute ass over at 6 so you can help me set everything up and some ice cream please” she didn’t even let me speak, i swear between Camila and her i don’t know who lets me speak the most.

I was in a stoplight when my phone started ringing, great.

"Hey mom" i said taking a deep breath mentally preparing myself for what she had to say.

"Hey Laur, you’re coming tomorrow to your father’s annual dinner party right?“ She asked. Shit i totally forgot about that, that party was literally my mom’s excuse to introduce me to rich guys so i can magically fall in love and marry them, she knew i liked girls that’s why she kept doing that every single year.

"Oh right.. yes i’m coming” i replied a little unsure.

"Great! I want to introduce you to someone very special" i knew it!!! Why can’t she leave me alone.

"But mom-“ and she hung up.

"Fucking great” i said stepping out of the elevator in Dinah’s building, i took out my spare key and opened the door, good thing i had a key because She was currently giving a concert in the bathroom. Dinah had an amazing voice, she worked at a sport’s clothing brand as the head of marketing and on her free time she’d sing at a bar, she didn’t need the money but she loved singing and showing off her voice. She was belting Beyoncé’s voice in if i were a boy, i was setting everything up in the kitchen.

I saw her come out of the bathroom just wearing her underwear.

"HOLY SHIT LAUSER WHAT THE HELL" she said jumping, i was just standing by the sink and she freaked out!

"Uh.. hi? I have a spare key remember?“ I said, while she walked in her room.

"But you scared the shit out of me… why did we ever agree on giving each other spare keys to our apartments” i heard her rant in her room.

"When you forgot to turn off the freaking stove and i had to come in several times before going to work to do it!“ I said laughing at the past events.

I was getting ready to go to work when i heard my phone ringing in the living room.

"Hey what’s up?" I asked.

"LAUREN I NEED A BIG FAVOR IM ALREADY IN THE OFFICE AND I LEFT RHE STOVE ON” i heard Dinah say speaking fast, she was really worried about it.

“You what?! Dinah Jane who the fuck leaves the stove on you dumbass!” I said immediately picking my things up and running to my car.

“Shut up leave me alone go turn it off” i was starting my car now and driving as fast as the Miami streets let me.

“How am i going to get in?” I said.

“Well… you’ve earned it Lauser, there’s a spare key in my mail box, consider it a gift from me to you”

“You’re so dumb did you know that?” I said and hung up.

My memory was interrupted by someone knocking the door.

“Lauser! Get the door”

I opened the door and saw my favorite brunette standing there she was holding two bags of popcorn, and looked absolutely stunning, she was wearing light blue high waisted jeans and a white friends crop top with her hair in a messy bun.

"Lo? Are you going to let me in or what?“ Camila said smiling.

"Right, sorry.. come in please” i took the popcorn bags from her hands and put them on the kitchen counter.

"Chancho! You’re here!“ I heard Dinah say hugging Camila.. Chancho? When did that happen?

"CheeChee! Thanks for inviting me” Camila replied, i knew Dinah and Camila were good friends now but i didn’t know they were on the nickname phase, it was cute though, i’m glad the girl i like is good friends with my best friend, sometimes i think she likes her better than she likes me, even Normani admits to like Camila more than me.

"Stop looking at Camila like that Lauser" Dinah said smirking.

“What?! No.. i’m not looking at Camila i’m just.. i have a lot in my mind.. who else is coming?’’ i asked trying to change the subject.

‘’Normani and Ally are on their way, just us five’’ Dinah replied taking out the juice and soda from the fridge.

‘’and that’s why you asked me to bring 4 different ice cream tubs!?’’ i said, and Dinah looked so unimpressed , i Heard Dinah’s phone go off and she started looking everywhere for it.

‘’Lauren do us all a favor and help me find my phone thank you’’ She said throwing the pillows that were on the couch away. Camila and I stayed right where we were before staring at Dinah, she kneeled down to look for the phone under the couch.

‘’FOUND IT!’’ She said. ‘’Hey Mani what’s up?’’ she asked standing up.

‘’Oh okay, I’m on my way’’ she was smirking now what the hell?

‘’Girls, I have to help Ally and Mani with the things they brought so I’ll be right back, please behave, no funny business on my couch or my bedroom, I love you’’ and with that she left both Camila and I blushing.

‘’I swear that girl has no filter’’ I said pushing myself up to sit on the kitchen counter.

‘’I know, believe me.. we went shopping the other day cause I needed new jeans and she asked me to show her the ones I was trying on… BAD IDEA… she literally yelled ‘’CAMILA IS YOUR BUTT FREAKING REAL BECAUSE IT’S HUGE!’’ Camila said, we were both laughing now, I can’t believe Dinah did that.. well actually I can..

‘’She’s so embarrassing, I don’t even know why I like to go out with her, she always does something to embarrass me.. I’m glad she has you now!’’ I said opening one of the popcorn bags Camila brought, I offered some and she walked in closer to me.

‘’Good thing It’s Friday and she doesn’t have to work tomorrow because I bet she’s gonna get sick from eating too much today’’ I said taking a handful of popcorn and putting the bag beside me, Camila laughed at me and stood between my legs to grab more popcorn, I was surprised at this because she didn’t actually have to do that to get more popcorn, she looked up with popcorn in her mouth and threw one at my face laughing, I smirked at this and threw popcorn at her as well, I placed my legs behind her pulling her closer and not letting her escape.

‘’I can’t believe you did that Lo!’’ she said still trying to free herself. I kept throwing popcorn at her until she hid her face on my stomach.

‘’Hey Camz look up’’ I said.

‘’No’’ she replied not moving a single muscle.

‘’I’m not gonna do anything anymore, I promise’’ I said lifting my arms.

‘’I don’t trust you’’ she said.

‘’Camz, let me see your pretty eyes’’ I placed my hands on the sides of her face trying to get her to look up. I felt her breathing through my shirt and it gave me goosebumps. ‘’okay let me see your pretty smile then’’ I felt her muscles relax and I moved her face away from my body, she had her eyes closed.

‘’Aren’t you gonna open your eyes?’’ I asked.

‘’nope’’ she said moving her head.

‘’Why not?’’

‘’I’m scared’’

‘’Of me?’’ I said caressing her cheek with my right thumb and she nodded, not saying anything else. ‘’why are you scared of me? I’m not gonna throw popcorn at you anymore I swear’’

‘’I’m not scared of that’’ she replied.

‘’then what is it Camz?’’

‘’I’m scared that if I open my eyes, I’ll look into yours and everything will be clear’’ she said.

‘’what do you mean?’’ I saw her opening her eyes and staring right at me. i was still holding her close to me with my legs wrapped around her waist.

‘’Crap’’ she said hiding her face on my stomach again.

‘’What Is it Camz?’’ I said placing my hands on her shoulders.

‘’I vreelly luke yew’’ she said still hiding, I didn’t understood anything she said, she had my shirt practically covering her mouth.

‘’what?’’ I asked

‘’ I really really reaaaalllyyy like you Lauren’’ she said finally looking up. I felt my stomach fill with butterflies and a smile slowly formed on my face, I took my left hand off her shoulders and caress her cheek.

‘’Camz’’ I said.

‘’No I’m sorry it was wrong for me to say’’ she tried to get away but she couldn’t, I’m so thankful that I have strong legs.

‘’Hey, no.. it wasn’t wrong’’ I said moving my hand to the back of her neck

‘’it wasn’t? she asked.

‘’Of course not’’ i was still smiling at her, my cheeks hurt so much from smiling but I didn’t care. ‘’ Will you be my date to my parent’s annual party tomorrow?’’ I said softly scratching the back of her neck. I saw her face relax.

‘’What? Why?’’ she asked.

‘’Because I really really like you too Camila Cabello’’

Just when she was about to reply the door flew open and Dinah, Normani and Ally walked in holding 3 pizza boxes, the three of them immediately looked at us, I was still on top of the kitchen counter, Camila was still between my legs and I knew the two most annoying girls and Ally will never let it go.

‘’MANI YOU OWE ME 20 DOLLARS!’’ Dinah said. I gave camila a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder and smiled at her, she moved so I could jump off the counter.

‘’Lauser, I know I told you my couch and room were off limits, but why my kitchen counter girl!’’ Dinah said placing the box on the counter, Normani and Ally wouldn’t stop laughing at this, I turned to see Camila blushing for something Dinah said for the third time this day, I took her hand and pulled it towards my lips to give her a small kiss.

‘’ Camren’s first time should’ve been in a more romantic place Laurenza!’’ Normani said.

They were definitely not letting this go for a while.

——————-

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE AN AMAZING YEAR AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THE STORY SO FAR

#UPDATE #series #AU #camren #norminah #based on song #humour #romance fluff #submission #Say You Wont Let Go

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