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welcometothemaraudersspam · 2 years

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valentine ~ h.s

i listened to valentine by laufey while writing this. and i highly recommend you do as well. this got me all in my feels and i hope it does the same for you :3

i've rejected affection for years

and years

"you absolutely amaze me. you can't just do that to people,"

"and why not? it's my life- and last i checked i could do whatever the hell i wanted." you retorted back at your best friend who was shaking her head at you. you were spending your day off of work with one of your closest friends, secretly trying to make her head explode with your mind from all of her cristisim. your feet dangling on the back of the couch swiping through your phone, popping another grape into your mouth.

the tall girl was getting onto you for rejecting a guy who had been pining over you since you were 15. you guys had been playfully flirting with one another for some time, but you personally didn't take him seriously up until last year.

the two of you had gone on a couple dates, and while he thought things were going great, you just couldn't see yourself with him. hence the beginnings of this conversation because she had just found out that you had flat out stopped responding to the guy after he had said something that had irked you the week before.

"he's literally perfect for you! he's got the same sense of humor as you. he loves being outside. AND he wants kids."

"honey, i know you're trying to be helpful, but it's not that simple. i tried. i really did, but i couldn't. i just know when things click. i can feel them falling into place. but we were just a little too similar. we were butting heads, even this early into the relationship. he was hardheaded, so am i," sighing as you threw your phone down on the floor, your fluffy rug cushioning its fall. bringing yourself to get off the comfort of your sofa. padding into the kitchen, while speaking over your shoulder as you refilled your bowl with more snacks. "i'm indecisive, and so is he. the entire car ride was spent with us saying 'oh i don't mind' 'whatever you want' 'it's up to you'. it drove me INSANE. and i figured he would finally get the message. hey! I really don't like you, and maybe next time think about what you're saying before telling me you were expecting something different with me. stupid asshole..."

"i think it's just cause you're picky. you guys would have made cute babies,"

"if you like him so much, then why don't you date him?" the slight jab made her throw her pillow at you, a loud laugh leaving your lips. grabbing the biggest cube of cheese you could find on your bowl, chunking it at her face a cackle leaving the both of you guys' lips.

now i have, and damn it

its kind of weird

"hey, honey..." the sound of your nickname rolling off your boys tongue made you smile softly, turning to face the brunette whose face was currently smushed against the sofa. you eyed his sleepy frame, feeling your heart melt as you saw all of his bouncy curls sticking out from his hoodie. "i miss you."

a soft scoff left your lips, quirking an eyebrow up at him. you set down your batter covered spoon, crossing your arms across your chest feigning annoyance. harry had just woken up from a nap, his eyes still puffy. he just kept on smiling up at you, your facade crumbling with every second you spent looking at his face. shaking your head at the boy, strands of your hair falling onto your forehead.

"you're crazy, h."

"crazy for you." it was almost laughable how quickly that boy was able to respond to your comments with cheesy lines. even after a year, he still treated you exactly like he had in the early weeks of your relationship. taking it upon himself to woo you every chance he got.

you tossed the rag you had used to wipe off cookie dough from your arms, the dark red fabric plopping on his head of curls. "mmm. those cookies smell delicious, honey…red velvet?"

"your favorite." making your way over to harry, running your arms over his as you wrapped them around him. swatting the rag off his head, his green eyes popping out from behind the rag a playful glint in them. he adjusted his position to where he was sitting up, trying to drag you closer to him. "h, baby, i'm trying not to burn cookies over here."

"the quicker you get over here the quicker you get back to the cookies," he teased, his voice still raspy from having woken up. you allowed the brunette to tug you onto his lap, your knees on either side of his waist nearly melting into him due to how warm and cozy he was. his hands quickly finding their place on the small of your back, his thumbs rubbing over the exposed skin a small shiver made its way up your spine.

"you know- i feel like you do this on purpose. you get all nice and comfy, so whenever you wanna cuddle me you just pull me in; knowing damn well i can't resist you. and next thing you know, i'll never want to leave."

"that's the plan, lovey." a small flutter made its way to your chest, blush dusting your cheeks as you nuzzled into his face pressing a soft kiss onto his forehead. harry let out a noise of appreciation, nudging your nose with his as he tugged you closer. "your mouth smells like chocolate... were you eating the batter?"

"shut it,"

he tells me i'm pretty

don't know how to respond

bright. so damn bright. a soft whine left your lips as you attempted to twist away from the sunlight burning your eyelids. after spending a couple minutes of trying to ignore the bright white light, you decided to make a better use of your day and attempting to get up. your bleary eyes making eye contact with an inked chest, stiffening slightly. a small sound left your lips, as you rubbed your eyes to see if it was truly real life or if it was just a dream.

"pretty girl... did i wake you?" a soft flutter erupted in your stomach, smiling sleepily at his choice of words. he wrapped his arm around your frame, tugging you close to him laying your head on his chest. a soft whine left your lips as you nuzzled further into his warmth, allowing your legs to entwine with his. "still sleepy?"

"mhmm... so warm."

"then go back to bed, pretty girl." the sound of his morning voice, and with your head on his chest made him sound so good. so unreal. it was heavenly. you lifted your head up just to press a soft kiss on his startled lips, a chuckle leaving the brunette. you locked eyes with his bright green ones, wanting nothing more than to just spend all day staring at him.

"you're so pretty..." the brightest shade of pink dusted your cheeks, shying away from his stare. he chuckled, pressing a soft kiss onto your face.

i tell him that he's pretty too

can i say that?i don't have a clue

it truly didn't matter how many times your eyes looked onto that man, you were absolutely breath taken every time. he was gorgeous. absolutely beautiful. every tiny little scar, and the dark ink coating his toned skin. slowly lifting your hand up to trail it over the exposed skin. you traced the outline of every tattoo you could get your hands on, leaving featherlike kisses on his chest after you had finished a tattoo.

harry had told you many times about how insecure he got at times, especially after being on tour and most of his outfits being quite tight on him. so if he did have something he wasn't happy with, he knew his fans would end up capturing it from every possible angle.

but you couldn't see it.

you just couldn't.

he always told you about how sometimes his hair annoyed him because it never wanted to style just how he wanted it. his curls were always sticking out, every which way. he didn't like the little wrinkles by his eyes, that showed that he wasn't as young as he was whenever he first started. but you loved every inch of that man.

you made it your mission to shower that man in as much love and endless compliments, knowing it not only made him feel good but you would be able to see his cheeks flare up a bright red.

which was huge plus in your book.

one things you did every once in a while whenever you felt he was a little down; press a chaste kiss on his forehead, down to his left cheek, and then to his right, and then a nibble on his nose. if he hadn't already interrupted your nibble with his own lips, you would press a much awaited kiss onto his awaiting ones.

with every passing moment, i surprise myself

im scared of flies

im scared of guys

someone please help

"you have to get your shit together,"

"you think i'm not trying? i'm fucking terrified..."

"of what..?"

"of falling in love. i'm scared to let myself fall in love, cause i know the second i let that wall fall down he's gonna leave."

"you can't think like this-”

"i know! trust me i know. i just can't stop... every single person that i've dated, has always broken my heart like this. its only whenever i allow myself to relax, that's when they do it." your voice wavered at the end of that statement, tugging at the loose hairs that were falling out of your bun. your best friend was currently trying to get you to calm down, her worried eyes scanning your distressed figure.

you and harry's 1 year anniversary was coming up, right after valentines day and you were absolutely stressed. everything felt too good.

a little too good.

you were scared shitless. you felt like everything in the relationship was great. amazing, even. but you couldn't stop your anxiety from being at an all time high. harry had been a little distance, not incredibly, but enough for you to be stressed.

"he could just be busy, hon."

"he always tells me whenever he's busy. i just- what if i did something wrong?" she pursed her lips as she eyed you, her demeanor softening as she was realizing how worked up this was getting you. she wrapped her arm around you, allowing you to lay your head against her. "i'm sorry i get like this."

"no need to apologize. we just need to work on your fight or flight mode. and hopefully turn the flight off of auto."

"it's not my fault-"

"i know, sweets. but you can't just prepare for the worst whenever you get the slightest thought that he could be 'leaving'."

"i know... i'm just so scared of getting my heart broken, that my defense mechanism goes a little haywire."

cause i think i've fallen in love this time

i blinked, and suddenly i had a valentine

the sound of something crashing behind you made you jump, hastily turning around in fear of what the sound was. a groan leaving your lips as you realized your basket had fallen over.

you were in the middle of trying to build your boyfriend a gift for valentine's day, and things were going pretty good. well. they were.

you had taken it upon yourself to make him a goody basket with all of his favorite things; some throws for his house, a couple of his favorite brand of candles, his favorite sweets, and even a little crochet cow that you had made yourself as a spur in the moment decision. all you needed to do was throw them in the basket in an organized manner.

as a spontaneous decision you wanted to tie some balloons on the back of the basket; awful choice truly. for some reason you weren't thinking about using something to weigh down the basket before attaching the balloons, and next thing you knew the basket was laying sideways in a puddle of paint.

"you've got to be kidding me," you uttered some curse words, hurrying to grab some paper towels from the kitchen and trying to wipe the red blob of paint on the front of the basket. to no avail.

"everything okay in there, lovey?" the sound of harry's voice made you stiffen, halting your hurried movements. you scrambled to chuck the basket into the empty coat closet, struggling to get the balloons to cooperate with the door. you could give two shits about the paint getting on your clothes, successfully getting the door to shut.

the sound of harry making his way down the stairs made you jump into hyper speed, hastily grabbing a half done project of yours and plopping some of the bright paint on it and smearing it around with your hands to make it look like you were doing something. harry stopped as he spotted you sitting criss-cross on the floor, a smile making its way onto his face once he realized the mess you had made on yourself.

"lovey... you do know the paint goes on the canvas, right?"

"jesus, honey you scared me. and for your information, yes i do. the paint just doesn't like to stay on the canvas." you pouted, looking up at your boyfriend who was dressed in nothing but a pair of black sweatpants. you offered the brunette a paintbrush, a cheeky smile sported on your face. "wanna join? i can't make any promises that the paint won't get on you."

what if he's the last one i kiss?

a soft gasp left your lips. a small chuckle left harry, his face buried against your neck as he covered every inch of your neck in wet kisses. your hands buried themselves in his curls, tugging softly.

"lovey..." the warning tone in his voice made you giggle, allowing your thoughts to encourage him. tug. "don't tell me that i didn't warn you,"

a loud squeal left your lips as he hoisted you into the air. his hands finding their place on your waist your legs wrapping around his waist as he made his way towards your made bed.

what if he's the only one i'll ever miss?

"i don't want to go on tour,"

"then don't" you bluntly stated, a small smile tugging at your lips. harry just shook his head at you, chuckling at your statement. the brunette was currently packing all of his belongings from his closet that he had wanted to bring with him on tour, stuffing the last of his toiletries in a small bag.

"you know its not that easy-"

"i know, h. i'm just joking"

"but i wish you weren't... i don't want to have to miss you." he mumbled, running his fingers over the exposed skin on your torso.

today was the last day before he went back on tour, one of his biggest yet. while he was excited, the thought of leaving you behind still made him want to second guess himself. he was choosing today to take advantage of seeing you.

spent the morning cooking you breakfast, bringing it to you in bed where the pair of you cuddled and ate some delicious pancakes. and for lunch he insisted on cooking some pasta for the two of you to share, which was delicious.

and now as the sun was hiding behind the horizon, streams of purple, pink and orange coating half of the sky. you guys were in your favorite lounge chair, with his head on your lap watching the sun go down. your hands were running through his locks wanting to remember every second of this.

his lips.

his smile.

his dimples.

and even just his scent.

maybe i should run, im only 21

i don't even know who i want to become

"i feel like i don't have my life together, whatsoever. all i do is paint, and substitute teach like a couple times a week..i'm not doing what i wish i was doing. i just feel like i'm back in high school again. trying to kill time by picking up a job so i could at least make money and be bored."

"honey, if you're not happy, then why don't you just go out and try to find a job in what you like doing." harry's words sounded muffled over the phone, but the message was still clear. you nibbled on your bottom lip deep in thought as you were looking at your last paystub.

"it's not that, h. i just don't want to be a burden for you-"

i've lost all control of my heartbeat now

got caught in a romance with him somehow

i still feel a shock through every bone

when i hear an 'i love you'

cause now i got someone to lose

breath.

god damn it say it back.

stop looking at him like a fucking guppy.

"i love you too." a soft voice emitted from the tip of your mouth, feeling a warm sensation course through your body. you hadn't even noticed that your eyes had watered until a tear escaped and made its way down your cheek. harry's face lit up, bringing you by wrapping his arms around your waist. the warmth of your bodies pressed up against each other made the room 10x hotter, wanting nothing more than to remove your jacket and toss it across the room. the second your lips touched, you felt a small shock. like electricity making its way through every little vein in your body. allowing yourself to melt into his embrace.

that was the first time he had ever uttered those words and dear god if those were the most holy words you had ever heard in your life.

"i love you so much." harry mumbled those words onto your lips, his breath fanning your face feeling your knees buckled slightly as he tightened his grip on you. "are you glad i didn't say it months into us getting together?"

"i would have done it the first day if you let me," you teased, a rumble of laughter coming from harry who threw his head back in laughter. you joined in on his teasing, knocking into his shoulder. even though this moment was everything you could have ever hoped for and more.

there was the tiniest little voice whispering to you that harry could leave you at any second, and absolutely destroy you.

the first one to ever like me back

i'm seconds away from a heart attack

how the hell did i fall in love this time?

and honestly, i can't believe i get to call you mine

i blinked and suddenly

today was valentine's day, or as you liked to call it; one long ass anniversary day. you guys had officially been dating for over 3 years now, the best three years of your life. nevertheless, you were still terrified to see how harry would react to the gift you had made him.

that was your whole thing.

you love giving gifts.

absolutely loved it.

but you also took gifts incredibly serious. you just want everything to be perfect.

"before we went to dinner, i wanted to give you your gift. if you're okay with that." he chuckled, knowing you had been begging to shower him in gifts since you had woken up. but he wouldn't let you. he wanted to wait until after you guys had dinner.

you practically jumped into the air, almost breaking your ankle from your shoes. he just smiled at your newfound energy, practically vibrating from excitement.

"can i give you mine first?"

"absolutely you can, lovey."

after he had finished the first word you spun on your heels and made a break towards the couch. you would pay money to see what his expression looked him, as you proceeded to toss the cushions to the floor making small signs of approval as you found exactly what you were looking for. a small book; a beautiful leather cover that you had engraved yourself. h's initials were at the bottom of the spine.

"what in the world did you hide in the couch-"

his words were cut off by you spinning around with a nervous smile, showing the book to him. you felt like a toddler whenever they hold up something to their parents, a cheesy grin on their features. harry took the book from your hands as tenderly as he could, his fingers running over the intricate detail on the cover.

"love... wow. this is- this is beautiful. where in the hell did you find this?"

"i-i made it. i started working on it a couple months ago... i know how you're always trying to find new things to read. and to find inspiration for your songs. so i wrote you a book."

"you wrote me a book?!" the flabbergasted look on his face made you giggle. you went around the other side of the book so you could show him, turning the cover over so he could see that you had written it by hand. you had practiced over and over to make sure you didn't mess up the ink on the paper, or to ensure that you didn't misspell anything. "honey... i... my gift is gonna look like- i don’t- this is amazing. this is the sweetest thing anybody has ever done for me. thank you so much, i love you so much"

"oh hush. and of course honey, it’s no biggie... i love you most,"

"well... i- i don't even know how to follow that up." you giggled at what he said, pressing a soft kiss onto his cheek. his eyes were doe eyed as he stared at your face in complete adoration. you noticed a small movement from his hand, flickering down to a small box he had in his left hand. "honey... i love you so much. you have been one of the best constants in my life. i've never been this happy; ever. seeing your face every morning when i wake up just further proves my point. i know that you're the last person i ever want to miss. the last person i want to have to kiss. you have made me into a better person. you taught me patience, and learning how not to take things for granted... and i really can't imagine being able to see you walk down the isle with anyone other than me."

"harry..."

he took that as his cue to drop down on one knee, his eyes brimming with tears. a small sob left your lips, drawing your shaking hands up to your mouth. he propped the box open, your eyes falling on the prettiest and daintiest ring you had ever seen in your life.

this can't be real.

"will you please... make me the happiest person on this planet- no... in existence and do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me?"

breath.

a second passed by.

"i-what- of course! yes. yes! a million times yes!" you struggled to choke out, throwing your arms around the brunette who just let out a small cry as he held you tightly against his chest. he struggled to get the ring on with both of your hands trembling, small laughs leaving both of your tear stained lips.

and at that moment... your mind was silent.

there was no little voice.

no anxiety.

no second thoughts.

you knew. you knew that this is exactly as it should be.

i had a valentine

a/n: ahhhh! i haven’t written about the loml in forever, so please lemme know if you have any feedback. my requests are also open! feel free to spam me. thank you lovelies 🫶🏼

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