#later. in France. maybe Ireland

[arctic-hands]

Oh boy I thought I was over school trauma now that my reaction to back to school sales had flipped the switch from despairing dread to "I want a baby so when they get older I can take them back to school shopping! 😭" but guess who had a nightmare of being back in high school and being degraded and bullied by students and teachers for being sick and bipolar

[side-stitch-and-contour-lines]

Slieve Foy

The concourse of Grand Central station was packed; she hurried as best she could towards the platform to escape the crowds at the time of leaving the offices. Once on the seat of the carriage, she could breathe. At last, this week was over. At last, after three years, her stay was coming to an end. At last, she was leaving Belfast for good.

The train left the station ten minutes later. Slowly at first, passing through the south-western districts of the city. Her heart sank as she recognised the outskirts of the Finaghy neighbourhood that had been so familiar to her for three years. She forced herself to look away. Despite the imminent move, a bitter feeling persisted. Her thoughts returned inexorably to her former companion who had left her six months earlier. She was just recovering from the depression and burnout that had followed the break-up. The end of winter and her sick leave had ‘motivated’ her to return to France for good. She had just picked up her last belongings from the office a few hours earlier. She had to move on. That's what everyone was telling her.

As the train headed south, the dark mass of the mountains appeared on the horizon. Her destination was on the other side of the hills, behind the border with the Republic of Ireland, in the town of Dundalk. She had been living there for three months. Tomorrow afternoon, she will leave for Dublin harbour, to take the ferry to Cherbourg.

Dundalk station was a pale yellow color, now lit by sodium lights that had taken over from the glow of dusk. Under the arches of the ramp that led up to the street, verses were painted along the metal beams: “You will never see him again”, “Your gaze fixed longer than you meant it to”. These letters, painful at first glance, had become bland and less mocking over time, now she was almost proud of feeling this way. A few steps from the station, she entered the small studio she had been renting from two friends, Sean and Zoe, two musicians born in the city, whose rental had fortunately become available a few days before she had to move out of Belfast in a hurry, unable to afford to pay rent on her own. Everything was already stored there, a sports bag, two suitcases filled to the brim, a pile of belongings waiting to be sorted and sent to the local dump by Sean. “No worries, I can take care of everything, go light, don’t burden yourself with all that,” he had told her the night before. She had let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you very much, really… I’ll have some time for myself before leaving tomorrow.” she had replied. “Maybe I could drop by Carlingford before leaving for Dublin…” she murmured thoughtfully. She surprised herself by saying these words. She had never thought about it until then, all her thoughts and anxieties had been focused on this move. Why did Carlingford suddenly come to her mind, for no real good reason? It was just a small village anchored on the banks of the Newry fjord, less than an hour from Dundalk, just after crossing the border into neighboring Ireland; a few streets and picturesque ruins at the foot of the highest peak in the surrounding mountains: Slieve Foy.

The next day, the whole valley and the surroundings of Dundalk were plunged into a thick fog, the mist as if trapped between the mountains and the sea. The bus waited there in this windless grey mush, along the road that ran alongside the harbour. A handful of people got into the pale vehicle which, with a sudden burst, set off. And after half an hour, at the tip of the bay, once the bus had slid down the last hill that swung towards the neighbouring fjord, they emerged from the greyness. All the mist and clouds had remained trapped in the neighbouring bay, on the other side of the slope. Then the sky revealed itself, blue, gigantic. The hills, themselves, stretched as far as the eye could see. She went down alone to the bus stop at the foot of the Carlingford tourist office; the village was silent. The wind seemed to rise, suddenly, rolling and molding the waves that rubbed against the jetty. She knew the route she wanted to take; along Newry St, turning right after the church, up past the few houses on the steep lane, past a few farms with curious cats. Along a low wall, a clean, dark plaque, recently installed, wrote in clear letters a strange text: “Queen Sadhbh lives on these moors with her daughters, Princess Abbie, Ella and Froya, friends of the last spirits of Ireland.” The inhabitants were well inspired, she thought, and this innocent folklore made her smile despite the arduous climb of the path that tugged at her calves.

As she climbed, the breeze became fleeting, inviting her to raise her head. The blue sky faded before the crest of the mountain, underlined by clouds that overflowed from the neighboring valley, like a magical aura. Sheets and tongues of swirls licked the tops of the rocks, descended towards the fjord before dissipating gently among the moors of purple ferns and timothy grass. All this sky seemed at once ready to overflow and of a thousand-year-old stability. Her heart tightened; she noticed that she was having trouble breathing. She stopped to catch her breath on a rocky outcrop, overlooking Carlingford under the steep, tiny just below her feet. “What am I doing here…?” she thought, feeling a mixture of fear and fascination growing within her… Slightly haggard, she staggered towards the path that led to the misty heights of Slieve Foy.

At the edge of the clouds, when everything around her seemed to disappear, a figure caught her eye. To her right, a few meters higher, a dark figure stood at the end of the ridge. It was tall, imposing, and seemed frozen, like a statue carved into the dark granite rock. She could not make out the face of this human form. Only a few long brown locks were swept by the wind. A gust of wind suddenly whistled down from the summit, flattening the brown grass around the hiker. She almost staggered while the presence remained stoic above her. “How did you manage to climb so high?!” she cried, her voice muffled by the wind, noticing only rocks and steep facades around the promontory. “Everything happens there, without words, mysteriously…!” she whispered to herself, disconcerted. The wind was so strong, so cold that she cried. Each time she wiped her wet eyes, the silhouette seemed to stand closer and closer to her. She finally stared at a female figure and a sepulchral voice then resonated:

“It is the Wind

Who shaped

The ridges,

The moors,

Your heart.”

In an instant, she felt her feet lift off the ground. Blades of grass and ferns fluttered in a series of whirling gusts around her. Her ears were ringing, her cheeks were covered in tears. Yet her body felt bathed in a soft and comforting warmth.

“You leave these lands but you will not forget me.

You will forget the faces, but your memories will remain.

The storm has made you one of our mountains

Wind standing against the assaults of time.”

Everything was suspended, the entire mountain seemed to hold its breath; then a sudden release and her heels left the intangible to fall back on the damp grass. Everything went black.

***

It was four in the morning, off the coast of Cornwall. It was cold, the wind and the engine roared in unison on the ferry deck. Everything was dark, only the white foam outlined the hull of the ship below, under the parapet. Insomniac, she was still disturbed by the experience of the day before. Had she dreamed? Yet her heart had never felt so light. She was no longer even sure how she had managed to get back to Dundalk to collect her things and arrive at Connolly Station in Dublin before her departure from the island. She saw herself just on the quayside of the port, ready to embark. She had called Sean to tell him that she would be leaving more things behind than expected. Any trace of him, the one who had left her six months ago. Just a few trinkets, clothes given to her, shared memories.

The darkness of the sea troubled her, however: she still felt the longing to return to Carlingford and Slieve Foy. Like a distant echo, a sympathetic and familiar lament. A relief and a sense of satisfaction. To leave to grow, to return to be free. Yes, the wind was now blowing at her back.

[saltywombatllama]

Since this fandom is basically DEAD, I decided to post random things (I belive that happened or that should have happened) about in memoriam by Alice winn(because let's be real, that book is toooooo underrated where as a lot of books that aren't all that get sooooo much attention) (BTW i feel like if maud, devi, Hayes and pitchard would all meet, they would bond over thr trauma they had with the situationship that could only be separated by [only] the forces of nature and a war, and they would be besties)

----------

Ellwood: I hate you.

Gaunt: Likewise.

Ellwood: You’re insufferable.

Gaunt: You’re unbearable.

Ellwod: Why are you in my bed?

Gaunt: …I missed you.

Narrator voice(Devi coming from under the bed): They were already married in the eyes of God and everyone who had ever read Wilfred Owen.

------------

Ellwood at school: I’m not gay, I just think Henry is the most beautiful boy to ever exist and I’d die if he stopped talking to me.

Ellwood in France: Okay maybe I’m a little gay.

Ellwood after Henry gets injured: Okay I’m gay.

-----------

Someone at Eton(probably): I knew they were in love when Ellwood let Gaunt win at chess and Gaunt apologized for it like it was a crime against nature.

------------

Gaunt: You’re insufferable.

Ellwood: You’re bleeding again.

Gaunt: And you’re still here.

Ellwood: I enjoy watching you suffer.

Maud: If one of you doesn’t kiss the other, I swear I’ll enlist myself.

-----------

Devi: You can’t use chlorine gas to “send a message.”

Pritchard: It wasn’t about the gas. It was about the vibe.

Hayes: The vibe made me pass out.

---------

Maud’s weekly update to her aunt:

“Ellwood looked at Gaunt like he was reading a very tragic novel and recognized himself.

Gaunt responded by nearly dying in a mud hole.

Devi is staging a one-man Marxist revolution in the officer’s tent.

Hayes cried over a rabbit.

Pritchard smiled, which should have been a red flag.

Please send more socks.”

-----------

Ellwood: Gaunt fainted during poetry again.

Maud: He fainted or he was emotionally undone by sonnets?

Gaunt: You’re all being very unfair.

--------

Gaunt(shot in the arm,bleeding) :Don’t tell Ellwood.

Five minutes later

Ellwood (storming into the trench): WHO HURT HIM I JUST WANT TO TALK

----------

Devi: I didn’t come here to make friends.

Hayes: But you did knit me mittens.

Devi: That was political.

---------

(Writing war poetry together)

Devi: slams notebook This is about anti-colonial rage and the dehumanization of soldiers.

Gaunt: Mine is… vaguely about… mortality.

Ellwood: …

Maud: Ellwood’s is literally titled To Him, Whose Throat I Dare Not Kiss.

Ellwood: It’s a metaphor.

Devi: It's a confession

----------

Gaunt: Hypothetically—if I were wounded and dying in a puddle of blood—

Ellwood: I’d throw myself on top of you like a Victorian widow.

Gaunt: I was going to say “would you still love me,” but…

Ellwood: The answer is yes, obviously.

-------

Devi, writing a 'list of things to do before I die'

• Topple the monarchy ✅

• Confiscate Pritchard’s lighter ❌

• Free Ireland ✅

• Emotional vulnerability: still pending ❌

• Stare at Ellwood and Gaunt until one of them admits they’re in love ✅

----------

Gaunt & Ellwood: (having an argument)

Maud: I’ve read heterosexual romance novels less dramatic than this.

Devi: They literally argue in iambic pentameter.

Pritchard: I ship it.

Hayes: What’s shipping?

Pritchard: It’s when you see two people being disasters and you root for the kiss.

------------

Maud: Does anyone here know how to process a single emotion

Gaunt: No.

Ellwood: No.

Devi: I can, but I won’t.

Hayes: I baked banana bread

Pritchard: I once cried because a knife was too dull. Does that count?

---------

Maud: I love my brother.

Also Maud: He has the emotional range of a haunted teaspoon.

Also Maud: He deserves love. Preferably from Ellwood.

Also Maud: I will slap him if he doesn’t say something soon.

------------

Maud: Have you tried saying how you feel?

Gaunt: I wrote a poem.

Maud: Did you give it to him?

Gaunt: I buried it in the garden.

Maud: For the love of God—

--------

Devi: We all cope differently. I organize political insurrections.

Pritchard: I build bombs.

Hayes: I crochet.

Ellwood: I pine.

Gaunt: I bleed aesthetically.

Maud: I pretend I don’t know any of you.

Tell me if you want a part 2

[daughterofcain-67]

𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 : 𝙴𝚙𝚒𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎

(Soldier Boy x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: just a conclusion of this story where Y/N finally get their happy ending and Ben gets the life he’s always wanted 🩷

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Ben being self conscious of future parental abilities, Y/N being reassuring, the smallest amount of angst if you squint, but mostly just pure fluff 🥰

One Year Later

You hadn’t dreamed of returning to the states. You and Ben have had such a blast exploring the world together, seeing places you had only wished you could have seen before. You had no idea how beautiful other countries were.

You and Ben had visited France, Italy, Greece, Scotland, Ireland, Switzerland, Costa Rica, Peru, Thailand, and New Zealand. The two of you had seen so much over the past year and it had been the best experience you’ve shared in your life, and the best part that you were able to share it with Ben with no one chasing either of you. Neither of you had to be on constant guard for Vought or The Boys, neither of you were on any watch lists because both of you were presumed dead in America. So that gave you and Ben the freedom to roam wherever you wished.

It genuinely seemed to help Ben too. He didn’t have as many flare ups and there weren’t any other explosions. The nightmares he had seemed to subside at least a little. You truly thought that this adventure was helping Ben, that retirement looked good on Ben.

For the past couple of days, you and Ben had gone to Canada after hitching a ride on some cargo plane - your main form of transportation at this point. The two of you were staying in some cabin in the mountains. It must’ve been some sort of guest home to someone because there was still furniture in the cabin despite there. Not being any sign of anyone staying in the building for a while.

Ben was asleep and you were currently laying in bed beside him, staring at the ceiling. You knew it I would only be a matter of time before you and Ben would be on the move again. Maybe a different part of Canada, maybe a small area so the two of you could finally have that fresh start. Maybe the two of you could end up having a cabin like this of your own. After all, you still had some money left - before you and Ben left the country you went back to your bunker where you had a safe full of savings. You were glad you never touched it because well, it would now give you and Ben a start for wherever you both decided to permanently retire.

Suddenly, you could feel movement from beside you and when you looked down you saw Ben’s eyes shut tight. You could tell he was grinding his teeth and when you looked down, you noticed he was clutching down on the bedsheets tight, so tight that his knuckles looked white.

Another nightmare.

You moved to where you were laying on your side and you placed your hand on Ben’s chest as you tried to shake him awake.

“Ben? Ben wake up! Come back to me, Babe.” You urged and you shook him a little harder and his eyes finally shot open.

You let out a breath of relief before you lifted a hand and gently caressed his cheek, causing him to look at you and his gaze softened.

“I woke you up, didn’t I?” He said before he looked away from you but you shook your head and kissed his cheek.

“I’ve been up for a while. You didn’t wake me.” You promised sweetly as you wrapped your arms around his torso as best as you could as you laid down again.

“Want to talk about it?”

“It’s just the same stuff… Little less intense than before. Not by much.” He told you and you frowned softly, knowing he was dreaming about his time in Russia then his time with Mallory.

You snuggled closer to him and rested your head on his shoulder, only to feel him move and he kissed the crown of your head.

“Less intense is a good thing… right?” You asked softly and you felt him take a hold of one of your hands before he flipped it upward.

“It is. And they getting fewer and further between.” He reminded you and pressed his lips against your palm, causing you to smile a little.

“Well… why don’t we find something to do to get your mind off of it?” You asked and he shifted his head so he could look at you.

“What do you have in mind?”

“Well I was thinking…” You trailed off, a little hesitant to bring it up because you weren’t sure how he was going to take the suggestion.

“Y/N, you know I’m not good at these guessing games. I’m not a mind reader.” He told you and you bit your lip a little. Then you moved your hands away to sit up while you formulated your thoughts.

“I was just thinking that… well, we’re close enough to the states without crossing the border again. Vought, Homelander, they all think we’re dead so they aren’t a threat and they haven’t been one for the past twelve months. Do you think it would be possible to finally… I don’t know… settle down maybe?”

Ben heard the delicate tone in your voice and he could tell that this must’ve been on your mind for a while. It was comforting to know that you were beginning to think the same thing that he was. The former hero slowly sat up with a little groan before he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his lap before he rested his chin on your shoulder.

“How long have you been thinking about it?” He asked gently.

“Not long honestly… right before we cane to Canada actually. Middle of the flight on that cargo plane.” He heard you confess and he smiled a little, wondering what got you started on thinking about it on a flight of all places.

“So… where is you’re thinking of settling down?”

“I dont know.. I like this cabin, maybe we can build one a little bit bigger though. Just incase.” He heard you say and Ben lifted a brow.

“Just incase of..?”

“Oh you never know. Maybe we can make some friends here in time and maybe we could have little gatherings and what not.” You said a little too quickly, making Ben a little skeptical. But he decided to shrug it off for now.

“You really think people are going to want to he friends with former American supes turned fugitives?” Ben asked and you smiled.

“No, but I’m sure they’ll want to be friends with Ben and Y/N who are just a couple that moved into the community.” He heard you say and he grinned a little before he looked down at your hand, admiring the band on your finger.

He recalled how happy the two of you were when you both had your simple wedding. Nothing too extravagant but you both ended up getting your rings a little later but it was perfect. You had the little ceremony in New Zealand, bought the rings in France, and had your honeymoon everywhere else. All of this was definitely a unique experience for him but he wouldn’t change it for the world.

“So we won’t be telling them about… well everything.” He said and you nodded.

“The point of a fresh start is to leave everything behind, remember? A clean slate, one where we aren’t heroes and we can just enjoy retirement.” You reminded and he nodded a little.

“Well… I suppose I like the idea of a cabin here. It’s peaceful and quiet.” He said as he thought about it.

“Why don’t we go into town today and see if we can find somebody to talk to about the cabin and everything?” He suggested and he watched as your eyes lit up with the idea.

“Okay! I’ll go get ready.”

Ben felt you start to move away from his touch and he smiled at how happy you seemed to be. Although for the past week or so you had seemed happier than usual. He couldn’t help but wonder why but he was assuming that it was simply because you were thinking of staying here in Canada. It must’ve been something simple.

As he watched you scramble around the room to get dressed, you turned around and looked at him and you smiled beautifully at him.

“Are you gonna get dressed or am I gonna have to drag you out of bed?” You asked him, causing Ben to chuckle to himself before he finally sat up and tossed his legs over the side of the bed before he started to stand up.

“I’m coming, I’m coming. You’re much too energetic for me this morning.”

“I told you, I was already awake before you woke up.” You reminded him before you finished getting dressed.

“Yeah I guess that’s true.” Ben agreed before you spoke again.

“By the way, we should go to the grocery store while we’re going to town. I need to pick up a couple of things.”

You and Ben had been in town for the past couple of hours and you’ve already looked into a couple of people to discuss buying property. Price checking never hurt anyone after all.

But when you and Ben both found a price you could work with the both of you made the arrangements. They gave you an estimate of when the cabin would be done so you and Ben would have some sort of time frame. You just had to hope the owners of the cabin you and Ben had been crashing in wouldn’t be making an appearance anytime soon while your new home was being built. So you two were on the way to the store.

While you were at the store, you and Ben grabbed some groceries. Naturally Ben grabbed a liquor of his choosing, not much to your surprise.but as the two of you roamed around the store you noticed a couple with the woman carrying a stroller. You happened to glance and you saw the most beautiful little girl sleeping with a stuffed blue dog from some cartoon. It warmed your heart and filled you with serotonin, but you tore your gaze away and started to think.

“Do you think you and Homelander would have had a good bond if you were there to raise him?” You asked as you started to step towards the baby clothes.

Ben glanced toward you and realized you were looking at some of those onesies, the tiniest clothes he had ever seen really but he wondered why you were bringing all of this up. Then he started to grow suspicious and wondered if he should wait about asking about his suspicions.

“I’d hope so. I didn’t have any kind of bond with my old man, so I’d hope that I’d do something different and be better for Homelander. But obviously Vought had other plans.” He said.

“What about Ryan?” You asked and you gazed up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well if you had the chance, if you chose not to listen to Butcher… would you have stayed with Vought and helped raise Ryan?” You questioned.

“I really don’t know. I don’t think that option would have been open anyway even if I wanted it to be. Vought got rid of me once because they didn’t want me to know about Homelander. I doubt they would have let me stay just because I’m the runt’s grandfather.” Ben said and put his hands in the pockets of the jeans he wore.

“I think it would have gone well. If you had the chance anyway. I’m sure that you could have raised Homelander well and had that father-son sort of bond.” You insisted but you could tell Ben wasn’t really convinced.

“Look at the way things turned out with my team. No wonder they left me to rot with the Ivans without a second thought. If that’s how I am as a leader of a team then what the hell kind of a father would I be?”

Your heart sank at his words and you reached out before you took one of his hands. Ben intertwined your fingers out of habit and you spoke again while giving his hand a soft squeeze, “You’d be the kind of father that learned from the mistakes of his past. The kind of father that would be able to help your child get past similar issues if the time ever came up.”

He didn’t exactly respond but he looked at some of the clothes you were looking at. Then you placed a hand on his arm.

“Ben, the fact that you’re think about all of this now and the fact that you don’t want to end up like your father only proves that you’re stepping in the right direction.” You encouraged. He nodded hut you could tell that he wasn’t fully convinced. There were times when Ben was sort of a hard man to persuade. You figured this would be one of those things that just needed some time for him to adjust to.

“On a different note… what do you think we should have for dinner tonight?” You changed the topic, to which Ben let out a hum.

“Well… what about burgers or something? That seems like it would be pretty simple.” Ben suggested, though you couldn’t help but feel nauseated by the amount of grease that came with eating a burger. Ben must’ve taken notice.

“Why the cringe? I thought you liked burgers.” He said.

“I do, normally. Lately I think the grease from certain things has been messing with me.” You admitted, causing Ben to tilt his head a little. You noticed the concerned expression on his face.

“Is it something you need to go to a doctor for? Maybe we should find one while we’re in town.” You shook your head.

“No, I don’t think it’s bad enough to need a doctor. I think it’s one of those things that will be resolving itself soon.”

“How can you be so sure about that? What if it’s something serious?”

“Ben? Trust me, I’ll be okay. It takes a lot more than a little sickness from grease to kill me.” You promised.

Ben grunted with skepticism and reluctance but he wouldn’t fight you on this. Not unless it would get worse and he needed to drag you to a doctor himself. But he couldn’t help but wonder when things changed. He cleared his throat as he tried to think of some other suggestion.

“Well there’s always spaghetti, something easy. Maybe we could grill some chicken or something.” Ben said.

“That could work. Why don’t you pick up the ingredients for that? I have something I have to look into.” You told Ben before you leaned up and kissed his cheek. Before Ben could say anything, you were already gone.

Ben watched you leave, checking you out before he shifted his attention and went to get the groceries.

He thought about the pieces of the conversation where you started asking him about Homelander. He wasn’t sure how he should feel about his son anymore, even in your little hypothetical world where Vought as out of the equation. Would he be well equipped? He knew you were trying to be encouraging about his parental abilities, but he still felt like he wouldn’t be a good father, even if he wanted to be.

However, what Ben was wondering the most was what brought that conversation on in the first place? Sure he supposed neither of you had talked about Homelander within the past year so he supposed you had the right to be curious about it. But he wondered why you wondered about it now. Maybe he’d ask you about it on the way home.

Or rather the place you would be calling home until your cabin was built.

He couldn’t wait until the both of you had a cabin though. He was ready to finally have a permanent little spot to call home. Ready to have a special place where you both could reside for the rest of your days, a fortress of solitude, a place where you could finally be alone and unbothered by anyone. It most of everything he wanted.

You found yourself at the vitamin section and you picked up what you needed. You definitely had some news to share with Ben, but you weren’t exactly sure how to tell him. You knew that Ben was growing suspicious of you though, and you were glad he didn’t exactly question you further about the problems you had with grease. It wasn’t your fault the smell of it made you queasy now that you were pregnant!

After you grabbed the prenatal vitamins, you walked over to the register and bought them yourself separately and double bagged the bottles before you started looking for Ben again somewhere in the grocery section.

You wished he believed in himself a little more. Sure he had some issues with his leadership, but you hoped that once he would find out about his kid he would start becoming a little more confident in his abilities.

You found Ben looking at different pasta sauces as if he couldn’t decide on which one he wanted to pick. You smiled to yourself before walking over and you slipped your hand into his. He looked down at you and your heart still seemed to flutter at the sight of his smile but then he looked at the shelves once more.

“Can’t decide if we should get normal spaghetti sauce or if we should get Alfredo.” He admitted.

“Well, why don’t we get both? Whatever we decide to use tonight we can use the other one sometime during the week.” You suggested.

“I think that’ll be fine.” Ben agreed and he grabbed both and put them in the basket but then he noticed the bag in your hand.

“You went and bought something already?” He asked.

“I did. But it’s just some personal stuff that I didn’t want you to wait on me for.” You said, hoping he’d buy the excuse. Luckily for you, he didn’t pry.

“If you say so.” He seemed a little short and you could tell he wasn’t sure if he should necessarily trust your behavior. You didn’t blame him for the skepticism but you still wanted to figure out the right way to tell him the news, you wanted to make sure he would take things well which was why you brought up Homelander.

By the time you both got back to the cabin, you decided you’d go and take a shower before you’d get a head start on dinner for you and your husband. Ben stayed in the kitchen to put the other groceries away.

As Ben was putting groceries away, however, he noticed one of the bags were double-bagged. Growing curious, Ben decided to peek inside and when he did he found something he hadn’t expected to find.

“What the hell?” He muttered to himself as he picked up a bottle of vitamins and when the label, he was shocked.

“Prenatal vitamins?” He read the label out loud and he looked at what else was in the bag you bought.

Inside the bag, he found a some pens and some stickers that looked like they belonged in some sort of scrap book. There was a book that was sort of a week by week guide of what to expect when you had a baby on the way. Ben heard the bathroom door upstairs and he knew you were coming. He ran a hand through his hair before he put everything down on the table.

Ben turned around when the footsteps stopped and he found you there, clutching the towel you must’ve been drying your hair with and you were dressed in one of his shirts and some leggings. The look on your face was nearly unreadable. From it looked like, Ben thought it was some sort of fear, but what did you have to be afraid of?

“So… I guess I forgot to bring the bag upstairs with me.” You finally said and he watched you walk over, draping the towel over one of the chairs as you started picking up the items Ben put on the table.

“How long have you known and decided not to tell me?” Ben asked.

“Ben, I didn’t decide not to tell you. I’m not shitty enough of a person to do that to you.” You began, feeling kind of offended that he would phrase it like that.

“I know this is something you’ve always wanted and we’ve talked about it before. I wanted to figure out just how to tell you, wanted it to be, you know, at least special. But I wanted to know if you still even wanted kids after you found out about Homelander and Ryan.” You explained.

“Which was why you were asking about it at the store…” Ben finally realized.

“Yeah… that about sums it up.” You sighed and you sat down in one of the chairs in the dining room and you looked back up at him, “Are you upset with me?”

“Upset?” Ben questioned, unsure why you’d ask a silly question.

“No, Sweetheart. I’m not.” He finally answered and he reached out and moved the chair you were sitting in before he knelt down in front of you, “I’m honestly thrilled. I’m still not quite sure about how my parenting skills will be but I think I’ll have some time to figure it out.”

You smiled when Ben took one of your hands and gave it a comforting squeeze, “I’m kind of disappointed that you didn’t get to tell me in the way you wanted to.”

You laughed a little, “Well, it’s not like you can forget about it now for me to find a way to tell you. So I guess this kind of saves me some brain work.”

Then it was Ben’s turn to let out a little chuckle. Afterwards he stood up and you snickered when you heard the way his knees popped. You looked at him and he pulled you up by the hand before he wrapped your arms around you in a sweet embrace. You smiled as you let your head rest on his chest. You heard the way his heart seemed to beat faster than normal, making you wonder if it was excitement, nerves, or some other emotion he was feeling.

“You still haven’t told me how long you’ve known.” He commented before he planted a kiss on the top of your head, you hummed softly.

“I don’t know… maybe a week and a half now?” You said in more of a questioning tone since you couldn’t remember exactly.

“You mean before we hitched a ride on the cargo plane?!” Ben said and he pulled away from you, looking at you as if you’d gone mad, “Are you crazy? We could have stayed in the last country we were in before we came here. Isn’t that dangerous for you to be flying in the condition you’re in?”

Somehow you knew Ben would get protective the moment he found out you were expecting. Although you couldn’t complain about it too much. It was sweet in its own way.

“It would have been dangerous if I were further along. I know I’m less than a month in, at lest I think so. So it couldn’t have been that bad.” You tried to reassure and you watched Ben’s jaw tighten, displeased with the response.

“We need to find a doctor and they’ll tell us how far along you are. It’s a good thing you suggested we settle here this morning.” He said and you rubbed the back of your neck.

“Well I wasn’t exactly going to suggest we go somewhere else anytime soon.” You admitted with a slight chuckle trying to lighten the mood. Ben exhaled a little before he leaned down and tried to kiss you on the forehead, but you pulled away.

“Nope. I want one on the mouth.” You pointed your finger to your lips.

When Ben leaned down to grant your little request, you ducked down and got out of his grasp. Ben gave you a look of confusion and you had a mischievous look on your face. “Gonna have to catch me first, Soldier Boy.”

Ben watched you turn on your heel and you scurried out of the front door into the cabin. He wasn’t sure where the sudden playfulness came from but he thought it was cute that you thought you could slip away and get away with it. He gave you a few seconds of a head start before he ran after you.

He continued to run until he caught sight of you running through the trees. He smiled to himself and he picked up the pace a bit and he watched as you stopped at a creek. You looked to either side as if you were trying to figure out which way to turn but by the time you stepped foot in one direction, Ben turned you around to face him and he had a smirk on his face.

“Caught you.” He smirked and you giggled before you cupped his cheek just as he leaned down and captured your lips with his.

You smiled against his mouth and you felt one of his hands roam down just to settle at the small of your back as he pulled you closer, as if he didn’t want you to run off again. When you pulled away, his forehead was on top of yours and your thumb caressed the top of his cheek.

“Why don’t we stay here for a while? It’s a pretty day and we’ve never sat here at the creek since we’ve been here.” You suggested softly and Ben smiled and rolled his eyes.

“You’re something else, aren’t you?” He said.

“What?”

“Nothing, Sweetheart. Just quit running off like that. Especially right now. Or there may be consequences.” He said, making one of your brows arch upward.

“What kind of consequences?” You smirked.

“The kind of consequences where I make sure you won’t be able to run anywhere.” Ben said with a smirk, causing your cheeks to turn a deep shade of red. Ben chuckled deeply at your embarrassment but then he held your hand and he walked with you a little closer to the creek.

You were right. It was a beautiful day and Ben sort of wished the two of you had come out here sooner. He sat down in one spot of grass before he pulled you down into his lap. You sat between his legs and Ben had his arms wrapped around your smaller figure. One of his hands were on your lower abdominal area while his chin rested on your shoulder.

His mind started swirling again as he kept you in his arms. He couldn’t believe this was real. What if he wasn’t good enough to be a father? What if all of his worries he talked with you about earlier would come true? He knew he would never lay a hand on his kid like he did his teammates, you would definitely find a way to kill him if he ever did that. But Ben knew his father never his him but he was still an abusive fuck. He didn’t want to turn into a monster like that.

He’d never forgive himself if he did.

You could feel the way Ben was starting to tense up and you placed your hand on the one he had over your stomach. You knew he was worried about what would happen, you knew he had so many doubts in his mind, but you hoped that the further along you would get, the more confident he would be in himself.

“For the record, Ben…”

“Hmm?”

“You won’t turn into your father…”

Ben lifted his chin off your shoulder before he turned and looked at you. You turned your upper body to face him and you saw the look on his face, knowing he had so much self doubt in his mind.

“You’re going to be an amazing father without any of his influence. Our baby won’t end up anything like Homelander because they’ll have two parents who love them dearly. They won’t ever need for anything, and they’ll love you and admire you for everything you are just as I admire you for everything you are.”

Ben’s gaze softened, as did his demeanor, and he lifted a hand to caress your face, “And they’ll love you and admire you for the amazing woman you’ve always been. They’ll be lucky to have you as a mother.”

You hummed softly before you leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips once more.

When you pulled away, you leaned against his chest before you looked outward into the sky, admiring the sunset and the way it seemed to bounce off the water from the creek. You and Ben had a new journey ahead of you and while you and Ben may be from an older era, you knew this journey came just at the right time.

Tag List:

@deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @nancymcl @jackles010378 @hobby27 @chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @prettyinplaid94 @globetrotter28 @suckitands33 @capricxnt @k-slla @david-tennant-obsessed-blog @deangirl96 @mimaria420 @ashdoctor @muhahaha303 @angelbabyyy99

[stitching-in-time]

Voyager rewatch s6 ep11: Fair Haven

The one where the Voyager crew discovers cottagecore. Life in space can be so unromantic! But apparently only the crew is allowed to have fun and romance, not the Captain. I don't hate this one as much as the J/C shippers seem to, but I definitely have criticisms. (And some questions about hologram sexytimes. Yeah, it's that kinda episode, folks!)

I'm usually all for silly holodeck dress up playtime in historical costumes, but Fair Haven is a bit too culturally insensitive for comfort. It's idea of a 'quaint Irish village' is full of distinctly American stereotypes of Ireland, and this kind of stuff is why people in the rest of the world think Americans are dumb. Painting late 19th century Ireland as an idyllic Disney-fied paradise feels insensitive or ignorant considering the Irish people were politically oppressed and kept in poverty by English colonizers at the time. (And barely a generation removed from an attempted genocide to boot- the English purposely let the Irish starve during the Potato Famine fyi.)

I like to believe people would have more sensitivity in the 24th century than to treat an actual culture like a theme park, but maybe all that is so far in the past by then that ordinary Starfleet people have no idea about any of that history? That's what I'm telling myself, at least. That would make sense if it's supposed to be Tom's program, since he's into 20th century American history, and so 19th century Ireland would be out of his area of expertise. Honestly, I'd expect Tom would be more likely to recreate a 1950s American town with, like, a drive-in movie theatre and a McDonalds, and a beach with a surf shack. It would be an excuse to get all the women into bikinis, so I'm truly surprised the writers went for this instead. The one time the writer's room being full of sexist horndogs could have helped, and it didn't! But I guess they already had the generic old-timey European town set on the backlot, (it's the same one they used for France in The Killing Game in season 4) so all they had to do was redress it with some Irish signage and voila! (Side note: would there have been bilingual signage like they have here in Ireland in the 1890s?? The English were pretty hardcore about eradicating Celtic language and culture in Ireland, Scotland, and Wales- wouldn't the signs have all been in English at this point? Or were there still enough solely Irish Gaelic speakers in the 1890s that they had to have Irish signage? History tumblr, please enlighten me, I'm curious now!)

But anyway, the crew, obviously bored put of their minds and desperate for novelty and a little cottagecore escapism, somehow all love the Fair Haven program, and the Captain gives them permission to leave it running 24/7 while Voyager weathers a space storm. The captain stops by, takes a shine to the holographic bartender, and soon she's spending more time on the holodeck with her holographic fantasy man. I know the Janeway/Chakotay shippers don't like it, but Captain Janeway is so damn cute and charming when she gets flirty with holo-bartender Michael Sullivan that I just go all heart eyes, and I'm on board with whatever she wants. And there's actually quite a bit of shippy J/C stuff in this one- after Michael asks Captain Janeway if she has a man at home, and she assures him she doesn't, Chakotay immediately shows up, and Janeway looks sheepish like she's been caught in a lie, because her space husband totally just showed up. Chakotay clearly knows what's up with the Captain and Michael, and he seems amused by it more than anything, and teases her over it on the bridge later. He basically even gives her his blessing when Janeway seems embarrassed about romancing a holodeck character, and tells her 'I never let that stop me'(!) CHAKOTAY, WHAT?? You date holodeck characters?! Did he fuck a hologram?! And now he's giving his crush permission to fuck a hologram?? THESE TWO. Talk about matching each other's freak. They're so married, jfc. (But in an open relationship, where they're allowed to fuck holograms lol.)

Why the captain's little holodeck fantasy was deemed worthy of being the A plot of an entire episode, I don't know. Everybody has silly little holodeck fantasies and makes out with a holodeck character every now and then, that's literally what the holodeck is for. Why Captain Janeway should have to feel guilty or bad about it is the real question, and the only answer here is sexism, pure and simple. (Or internalized misogyny, since this was apparently written by a woman.)

Captain Janeway feeling so guilty about being able to change her little holo-bartender's parameters to be whatever she wants him to be, to the point that she feels like she must cast him away because he's too perfect and it's too easy for her, is just weird and nonsensical. It's a fantasy! That's the point! It's supposed to be easy and perfect to distract you from your real life for a little while! And when everything being too perfect gets boring, you move on to another fantasy, which is totally okay, because it's pretend! Everyone needs to have some sort of fantasy world to escape to when life gets too boring or too stressful, that's just a normal part of life. Whether it's through books or movies or video games or a holodeck, it's all the same. Captain Janeway has probably the most stressful job of anyone ever, since she's responsible for 150 people's lives 24/7, most likely for the rest of her life, with no help, no vacations, and no ability to quit, probably ever. She can't even date anyone on board because she's everyone's boss- if ever someone deserved a little holodeck romance escapism, it's her!

In a case of the worst person you know having an excellent point, the Doctor, of all people, points this out to her. Although I think a lot of his gung-ho attitude stems from just being pro-hologram in general, he is absolutely right that Captain Janeway should stop worrying about whether holodeck romance is morally pure or whatever and just let herself enjoy being happy for a while, wherever she can find it.

Eventually Janeway decides to cool it with her holo-boyfriend, because apparently she feels weird about having fucked that hologram. (It's not explicitly shown or stated that she fucked the hologram, but it's heavily implied. Which raises all kinds of really weird questions- like who exactly programmed him to do the deed? Tom originally programmed him to just be a bartender, with no idea that he'd end up Janeway's boytoy. Did the Captain add some new sexytimes subroutines to her specifications? Do all holocharacters just have sexytimes subroutines built in? Or, worst of all, did Tom program him with sexytimes subroutines from the beginning? Which could be the real reason Janeway is having an existential crisis- she didn't just fuck any hologram, she fucked a hologram that Tom Paris taught how to do it. Ohmygod. It's like the time they turned into lizards and had lizard sex all over again- they keep getting into awkward quasi-sexual situations together. Janeway probably had a mental image of Tom going all hologram Leah Brahams like: 'Every time you fuck that hologram, you're fucking me!' and then just noped on out of the whole situation, lmao! How is this episode even a real thing?!)

Anyway, after bidding Michael a fond farewell, she saves his program for later, after locking herself out of modifying his program further, which is yet more dumb, sexist nonsense. So even in their own private fantasies, women are supposed to limit themselves so that they don't get too carried away with- what? being happy? being in control? The air of puritanical, sexist nonsense that hangs over this episode is something I hope we as a society will have finally rid ourselves of by the 24th century. Good grief.

The only really fun parts of this episode were seeing the crew in cute 19th century outfits (Tom in a newsboy cap! Harry in his suit and straw boater!! The captain in her corset dress with her updo hair and no makeup!! And are those her real freckles?! adorbs!!!), and seeing Captain Janeway get to have her little romance, complete with a Jack and Rose Titanic dance moment. I honestly wonder how much of this Fair Haven idea was influenced by the Titanic mania that was everywhere around this time- it had been the big movie the year before this aired, and Irish music was having a definite moment after the third-class dance scene with Jack and Rose in Titanic, which this reminded me so much of. Of course Kate Mulgrew actually has Irish ancestry, so maybe they wanted a setting that she'd fit into well. But I'm a little surprised she wouldn't take issue with the whole 'drunken Irishmen getting into a bar fight in a pub' scene- that's a pretty negative old-timey stereotype. But, who knows, maybe she did, and they just didn't care. Nobody seemed to be too concerned with what is or isn't offensive in this ep!

Tl;dr: An episode that wasn't as much fun as it wanted to be because it was overly concerned with whether or not it's morally pure or acceptable for women to have fantasies, and which came to the sexist conclusion that it's okay, as long as they feel guilty about it and police themselves accordingly. Gag.

[historia-vitae-magistras]

On the subject of Arthur losing his mother's inheritance, how did the Norman invasion go for him? When he loses yet another identity and a new language slides onto his tongue?

It went incredibly shittily for him. I've read more than one academic that places the birth of British Imperialism in 1066, and I don't think they'd be entirely wrong. For many of the so-called 'high middle ages', sources from Welsh poetry, the Irish Annals or even Scottish records don't describe invasions from England as English incursions into their territory the way we today do. Instead, there's often this sense that 'England fell first.' Because while the Anglo-Saxons had been aggressive with their neighbours, see Offa's Dyke on the Welsh border and periodic problems in Scotland, there's nothing like the dominance we later see. If anything, Ireland, as the centre of Celtic Christianity, had more influence as Scots Gaelic came via Irish migration onto the west coast of Scotland. It's been argued by other academics that the Norman invasion is as equally responsible for the decline of Celtic Languages in England as the Anglo-Saxons themselves were.

But all that said, he spent about ten years in the Mediterranean as the Varangian guard took on a new Anglo-Saxon flavour and became something like the Byzantine Empire marines in addition to the usual sort of Emperor's bodyguard that was traditional. And in the 1070s we have a few scattered references to the first-ever use of a 'New England.' Somewhere on the black sea, maybe Crimea was settled by those English exiles. So Arthur is overseas from about 1066-1075 when there's finally no hope of a return of Anglo-Saxon rule.

He doesn't really lose his Englishness, English remains the tongue of the lower classes, but people stop writing in it almost completely. And a headcanon I've had for a long time is he made Matt learn how to read in English almost immediately after the Conquest of New France because he himself couldn't read Old French or Middle French very well for decades. He loses not an identity but the ability to express that identity.

[hetalia-club]

Does your baseball league have teams at all or is it just the stats.

HI YES BASEBALL! So I actually do have 2 teams. The team captains are Japan & America. I picked them because they were against each other in the world championships in the finals last year and thought they may want a rematch. I put them in a Character AI group chat and I gave them a list of characters and they took turns alternating picking who they wanted on their teams. They didn't know the stats and just went off who they wanted. I was pretty surprised actually by who they ended up going with

America's first pick was Romano. and Japan picked Spain for his first pick, which Spain is the reining European champ for baseball. So I can see the thought process there. Romano as a first pick is a very bold move my America but maybe he knows something we don't (Get you a homie who gives you a confidence boost like that) That being said here are their teams America's Team Japan's Team America Spain Romano Canada Germany China England France Russia Prussia Austria Finland Sweden Turkey Norway Scotland Ireland Greece Denmark Iceland Italy (he was the last pick lol) Japan

It's interesting because Japan seemed to be going for strategy looking for well rounded players while America picked all the heavy hitters. Japan seemed to have a plan in his team picking while America was just grabbing up power houses. very on brand for both of them tbh. America was the first pick and so Romano was chosen first, he would love that lmao. No one would hear the end of it.

(I forgot to add Turkey, Greece & Iceland I'll do that later)

[misc-obeyme]

yooo it’s ur weeb friend!!

lmao so asmo got banned from peru (and probably greece after the incident with helen BUT that’s water under the bridge) and levi got banned from japan for being too cringe-fail (the americans are already enough, NO MORE) but what about the others?

i feel like beel got banned from ireland after causing the great potato famine and from italy after eating all the pasta in the entire country once…

mammon got banned from vegas FOR SURE for causing a scene (not a country BUT he’s been banned from every casino in the US, and steadily working his way through canada and europe (starting with england) he’s making progress…

lucifer got banned from italy also for the vatican city incident. he wanted to see it cause he’d heard so much about it. no one is allowed to talk about it…but the brothers will tell you about it later if you want to know.

belphie and diavolo got banned from all of africa because due to a mix up they got blamed for spreading the sleeping sickness and malaria respectively (they didn’t actually do it but can’t seem to escape the allegations)

i think solomon got banned from mexico and all of south america and is the cause behind a lot of the superstitions based on devils/the occult there. people run from him in fear. he claims to not know why but you know there’s a reason. you can try to ask someone but they’re all too busy fleeing in terror.

barbatos claims he got banned from russia and china. no one knows why, not even diavolo. it’s one of the mysteries that he’s very secretive about, but legend has it that it’s related to something he did before he joined forces with diavolo.

i also think asmo got banned from india and some regions of france as well as various other european countries like spain and scotland but the stories behind those pretty much revolve around a party, drinking, and members of nobility. and they’re usually so long and crazy and asmo is always insistent he did nothing wrong and will leave out parts of the story to make himself sound good BUT if you’re a real history buff you can usually sus out what actually happened. or get him drunk. he always has loose lips when he drinks.

satan got banned from the americas (specifically north america) due to his rebellious streak/temper tantrum days resulting in the satanic panic. mostly caused by americans being rude and making him angry. he’s also a basis for a lot of mexico/south american superstition, though somehow…not as much as solomon?

just my silly lil ideas i wanted to share! what are your thoughts?? 🤔🤔🤔

Hello there, my friend!!

al;dskjfasdlksfj Beel causing the potato famine looool!

I definitely think they all have the potential to get banned for causing specific issues. Definitely Beel eating all of everything, Mammon causing trouble at casinos, and Asmo just getting drunk and partying too much.

I also think Mammon would be banned for doing something like insurance fraud. I don't know why but that just seems like something he'd get himself into. Or maybe it turns out he's the mastermind behind all the internet email scams asking you to send them thousands of dollars.

I think Lucifer has to be extra careful because uh... he's Lucifer. You would think he'd be banned from the Vatican before he ever even showed up there. Satan, too. Just stay away from religious locations when the religion in question considers you to be the source of evil, okay?? Though I would absolutely demand the story from the other brothers about the incident lol.

Okay see I headcanon Solomon spent a significant amount of time in the southwestern US just because he's always wearing that bolo tie lol. So I love the idea that he was also in Mexico and South America, just being the menace he always is. In the Devildom, the stuff he does isn't too weird, but can you imagine normal people in the human world encountering him and all his weird experiments? And if he was actually covered in pacts marks that look like demonic sigils? I have no doubt that he would be the source of years worth of superstitions.

I LOVE all ideas where Satan is the cause of any kind of Satantic activity anywhere. Like the Satanic panic was so ridiculous, but I love the idea of him causing it just by being angry about rude people.

I do think Satan could also have been banned from Japan - most specifically, Tashirojima where the cat population far surpasses that of the human one. Possibly also Hydra Island in Greece, which is another island known for its high cat population. I just think eventually they'd be like listen we appreciate how much you love the cats, but you need to leave now lol.

All of this seems more than enough to get any of them banned from the various human world locations they've caused trouble in. It's so funny to think about them running rampant in the human world. Lucifer out here probably acting like he'd never get banned, but he's caused his fair amount of problems, too.

[teh-nos]

i suppose this is a book review

I finished a book! It was The Usurper King: The Fall of Richard II and the Rise of Henry of Bolingbroke, 1366-99 by Marie Louise Bruce (Amazon link, sorz - I read this Kindle edition). I wasn't that keen on it at first so I skipped some bits early on and in the middle but once the actual usurping got underway it was quite exciting. I think one of the parts I skipped was the Peasants' Revolt (oops) so I shall have to find out about that from somewhere else, and as usual I kind of gave up on keeping track of who all the various nobility were who changed their name every time they got promoted (and in this particular story occasionally demoted). This is all part of the backstory for the Wars of the Roses though so I had some idea who most of the the most-royal people were already - this is the bit where we skip from the son of the first son of Edward III to the son of his third son and the kid who doesn't get the throne in this one is Important Later On, or at least his descendants are.

Anyway, Richard II is the son of The Black Prince (nobody seems to know why he was called that, so let's just say he was a goth) and he is quite unpopular with basically everyone, and he got semi-deposed in the 1380s but hung on and then got vengeful about it a decade later. Anyway he'd pissed off everyone and he'd had this weird sort of sexual tension loyalty-but-also-bitterness thing going on with his cousin Henry (son of the third son of etc) and then banished him and disinherited him, at which point the book notes that Henry considers this to be Richard breaking his coronation oath and adds ominously that all this fuckery therefore dissolves Henry's bond of fealty to his king... and then shit - as they Americans say - gets real.

So Henry comes from France to England with about a dozen boats and he has maybe 200 men in his can't-really-call-that-an-army BUT as mentioned everyone fucking hates Richard so as he wanders across England his forces grow signficantly. (If England had a penny for every time an invading Henry has overthrown an unpopular Richard...) And Richard's at this point off oppressing Ireland and for some reason dilly-dallys a bit there despite the Cousin-Usurper-Has-Invaded-England thing, and when he does show up (in Wales) he promptly falls for some oath-breaking (of which there is A LOT in this story, mostly from Richard himself) and gets arrested and deposed.

At this point the author expresses some scepticism about whether Henry really had much in the way of grounds for claiming the throne (oh and also he'd told most of his new allies that he wasn't going to - see previous mention re: the shocking amount oath-breaking going on here) but he manages to get it and then to hold onto it he of course has to kill Richard but he's not keen on the idea and then there's a failed rebellion and then soon after that Richard conveniently dies, possibly because they stopped feeding him (GRIM!) and then there's the history equivalent of a post-credits teaser for the next film, where Henry (now the IV) dies and apparently his son liked Dead Richard more - I should look into that as it sounds a bit fucked up. And like I said the 'skipped-over second son' plot point will become important in the 1460s or thereabouts.

Some of the primary sources are quoted in the original Badly Spelled English - though in fairness there's no standardised spelling as yet (and won't be for some time) but still it's hard to make sense of in places so I often just skipped those quotations. There's also the odd bit of untranslated Latin (thanks, shitlord!!!) but never more than a line so it could be worse. Sometimes events are referred to without further explanation which is a bit annoying - I want to know why Henry V will be so pissed off at his dad! And why an archbishop gets executed in some later installment! But yeah mostly I found it a bit of a slog early on but once - as the French say - la merde got le real it picked up a lot and it became quite the page-turner which is partly the nature of the events but points to the author anyway cos I know that - alas! - a bad writer can turn any bit of history dull.

I'd initially given this 3 stars but then upped it to 4 when I was finished because it got rly good in the last half.

[realcatalina]

Geography in 1500, England-Part 1-basics

I myself was wondering how all the land under English Crown was divided in Tudor times. Except from 1510 sumptuary law gives a clue:

“That no one who does not possess the title of a lord, and who is not a Knight of the Garter, may wear any woolen cloth manufactured outside of England, -Ireland, Wales, Calais or Berwick, "or the marches of the same."

Hence according to Tudors English Crown consisted of England, Ireland, Wales, Calais, Berwick + the marches(which were within England).

Not Marshes as this:

But as border areas. There were two marshes-Welsh Marsh, next to Wales. Ludlow was located in Welsh Marsh-hence technically still within England, and then there was Scottish Marsh in the North. 

Ireland had lots of indenpendent territories which didn’t aknowledge Tudor rule at all, and then English Pale, but I’ll do separate post about Ireland itself and explain more in detail there.

Wales was once idenpendent but even before War of Roses fully under the control of English.

Calais is city nowadays in France, but it was English right until reign of Mary I. It was english enclave and important trade connection between island England and continent. 

By the way, it wasn’t formerly part of Normandy, it’s bit more up North from that...and was actually captured by English in 1347 and stayed English until 1558, when Mary I lost it to France.

You probably knew all of that. But what the hell is Berwick?!

Well, actually there are several towns called Berwick. 

I believe the record is talking about Berwick-upon-Tweed(or on the Tweed).

(Historically it was called by Scottish as South Berwick, because they also had another town called Berwick more North, which they called North Berwick).

A town on Scottish/English border, over which they fought many times and it changed many hands. But it seems the town had different status than any other town, and in 1551 Berwick was declared to be free town, indipended from either Kingdom. In practise controled by English, but had independed borough, outside of authority of any English county. The wording of sumptuary law in 1510 suggest Berwick had similiar status even long befor this. 

(Maybe just not officially.)

It was sort of enclave, like Calais, with special rules.

Interestingly the town was offered by Margaret of Anjou to Scottish in 1461(for their support) and before Richard III proclaimed himself king, in 1482 he recaptured the town from Scottish. Scottish didn’t accept this conquest, in their documents it was still Scottish many years later, but in practise the town remained English ever since. Elizabeth I spent massive funds for fortification of the town. So clearly it was very important. 

Until Scottish and English crown united in 1603.

And then there are/were islands. And quite often it is mentioned in records(or on wikipedia) that somebody (nobles) in times of distress(like political situation being unstable) would seeking shelter/refuge upon these islands...

If the island was separated only by narrow strait from mainland, it was much easier to govern, and was offically part of the mainland territory. 

For example to the South of Englad we have Isle of Portland(source of Portland marble) and Isle of Wight. They were part of Kingdom of England.

Isle of Wight again:

To west of London is Isle of Sheppey:

And to N-W of Wales is Anglesey and Holy Isle-which were part of Wales:

But what if Island is further away?

To West of Cornwall(S-W England) are Isles of Scilly:

Also called Sorlingas (Spanish, Portuguese) or Sorlingues (French). In the Cornish language, the Isles of Scilly is Syllan.

They are further away, but still under control of English since before 1000, and were part of England.

However, there are islands, which never became part of English Kingdom(nor Wales) but were under English Crown. For centuries.

Nowadays they are the dependencies of the British Crown(not to be confused with overseas crown depencies) They are still under same monarch, but have their own goverment, passport etc.

Some of them now claim they had special status since medieval times, it is not confirmed as far as I know. 

But due to them being further from England, it is likely they had some level of automy and special governing from before Tudor era. Even if it wasn’t offical. They are simply not close enough to any mainland coast for it to be easy to control them. But probably because it wasn’t official that Sumptuary law didn’t mention them. (It could be just traditional...)

-Isle of Man, which is located in Irish Sea between Ireland, Scotland, Wales and England:

In past it was conquered by vikings, and in 13th century Scottish King bought it from Norway in 1266, but in 1290 English seized it. In 1313 Scottish retook it, and then for rest of 14th century it kept changing hands. But by beginning of 15th century it was in English hands and would be ruled by Stanleys.

-and the bigger of the Channel Islands(not to be confused with Californian Channel Islands). 

I am talking about islands in English Channel(La Manche, sometimes they are refered to as Norman Islands, and that is pretty accurate.

The channel islands originally belonged to Duchy of Normandy and when English lost the mainsland Normandy and  they managed to keep those islands.

-Biggest islands being Guerseney, and Jersey and then smaller Alderney, and many smaller islands:

But that is not entire story. Because English kept the bigger ones, which are now considered Channel Islands, but during Tudor times, English abandoned the smaller Chausey islands and eventually French took hold of them.

On wiki you can find that Chausey Islands were administered from Jersey until 1499, when the Jerseymen abandoned it to the French for reasons unknown. The Jersey historian Alec Podger has suggested that it was too costly in terms of money and manpowower.

Addionally I am truly confused in how Channel Islands are described nowadays.  Because I literally never came upon word bailiwick before. 

There is Bailiwick of Jersey and Bailiwick of Guernsey. That’s their official name. But what is it? Well, I read the definition several times and I am no wiser.

Best I understand it(and I might be completely wrong) it is Administrative term originating in french language, which sort of groups those islands together under the name of the biggest island. Sort of like town of Buckingham gives name to Buckinghamshire, but with islands.

If somebody understands it better, I am all ears.

Another thing you should know, that English coast nowadays and back then is not same. From Arthurian legends you probably know erosion occured on big scales even back then! (One of Arthur’s knights was prince of Kingdom West of Cornwall which sank under sea.)

But strangely the coast also can grow bigger.

WHAT?! What the heck you mean?’ -you asked. 

Allow me to demonstrate-this is reconstruction of Harlech castle(in Wales)-how it used to look:

In botton of the picture you can see it had access to the sea, and it could be supplied by ship. Maybe this is better:

And this is current view from Harlech castle from google maps:

The sea is several km away and there are many buildings in places where once the sea was. Overtime sediments build up in the place, and coast grew!

It’s not the case that west coast grows and East disappears, it’s more complicated than that...But important is, the coast is changing and if you ever time-travelled, be aware. 

So I hope you’ve learned something new from this. 

[4lbon]

do tell more about your ck3 run i love seeing other peoples devious playthroughs

omg i LOVE talking abt this ck3 save i'm getting like super into the roleplay and story of it all, i have a 15k word doc explaining the history of every character i play ANYWAY highlights. Current king was the forthborn son--born when his parents were like 40, with his twin sister, siblings are a lot older than him. When this kid is TWELVE there's a battle and seige of the capital, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF HIS BROTHERS IS KILLED IN BATTLE. the same battle. his sister is kidnapped in the siege and dies a few years later in a dungeon far away. so now this FORTH BORN who never expected to inherit more than like, a county, now splits the kingdom with his nephew when his dad dies a few years later.

like how much would that fuck with someone. to lose so much of ur family so young. OK NOW TO THE INCEST his eldest sister is like 20 years older than him. has a daughter around the same age as him. i was looking in the character memories and saw that he had a crush on her as a kid and was like 👀👀👀👀 let me do something with THAT. idk it just makes sense to me for a guy who watched his father's war to keep territory kill half his family to prioritize keeping who he loves close. even if it breaks alliances and loses wars he knows the cost of war too well.

anyway my goal overall for his reign is to reunite ireland and maybe go for england once his mom dies and he gets her claim for it. maybe long term brittannia but whos to say. thats the magic of it. whos to say where the next character i play will take me. i certainly didnt think i was gonna end up in ireland when i started in CENTRAL FRANCE but here we are

[whenitsdarkweilluminate]

Paris 1978

Host: France Participants: 20 Voting method: 12-point system (juries only)

Winner: Izhar Cohen and the Alphabeta - A-Ba-Ni-Bi Country: Israel Points: 157 (68.9% of highest score possible) Language: Hebrew

General Overview:

1978 is one of my least favourite Eurovision contests. France put together a high class, sophisticated show. But it feels like a step backwards in time; like a return to the black-and-white era. The show's vibe is too formal and dated. And it's very out-of-touch with the disco era.

My biggest complaint is the orchestra. It drowns out and overpowers the artists. The string section is especially overbearing. And the songs just end up sounding dated and bland because of it. Or maybe they were already bland in the first place. 1978 has a lot of forgettable songs IMO. It also doesn't help that most of my favourites are late in the running order.

Moreover, the lighting is bad and the stage design looks like a classy theatre. The orchestra is situated on a giant rotating seashell, which takes up half the stage, and it's an eye sore in the background of every performance.

For the first time ever, there are two presenters: Denise Fabre and Léon Zitrone. Denise speaks in French, while Léon speaks in English. Léon seems a bit too serious though. Interestingly, he is the first male host since 1956, so this breaks a 20-year streak of solo female presenters.

The opening video drifts down the Seine, then it cuts to the Trocadero Gardens, followed by the Arc De Triomphe, and finally it shows the main stage as the orchestra plays and rotates forward. The interval is a pre-recorded video of a jazz band and two guys having a fiddle duel. It's alright.

The postcards are unique, and they incorporate live backstage footage. First, the artists enter an elevator (was the Green Room in the basement?) Then the flag graphic is displayed. Next, the camera points to the audience. Then, once the artists are upstairs, they walk past the previous performers. And finally we see the conductor and artists walk on stage. That elevator is an image I associate with this year.

The vote reveal started as a close between Israel and Belgium, but once Belgium gave their 12 points to Israel, Israel ran away with it after that.

Denmark finally returns after 12 years, and Turkey after 3, which brings the number of participants to a new record of 20. Also, I noticed there's several groups/duos this year.

Ireland: Colm C. T. Wilkinson - Born to Sing Colm is a West End/Broadway actor, and unsurprisingly, his song sounds like a showtune. Showtunes aren't really my thing, but Colm gives an enthusiastic performance. And the lonelier verses are fine – they start with smooth strings and there's a build-up of glittery flicks. The chorus is more rambunctious, where the energetic vocals can get annoying. The “tried with all my might” drum stumble works though. The song later ends on an intense title repetition. In the lyrics, Colm is unable to keep a relationship because he's on the road, following his calling to sing.

Norway: Jahn Teigen - Mil etter mil Jahn trolls us with his quirky body movements and voices. He screams while leaning back on the mic stand. He tugs his suspenders. He jumps at the end. And his unserious performance earned “nil points”. I don't find it amusing and his voice is annoying at times. Plus the calmer verses are boring and the chorus is weak (it just repeats “mile after mile after...” etc). Otherwise, there's a brassy intro, an intensifying chorus transition, and some chorus horns. In the lyrics, Jahn begs his lover to return because they've walked too far away.

Italy: Ricchi e Poveri - Questo amore This is too slow and lethargic. It makes me sleepy. The first half is too light and soft (the summery guitar is a highlight though). Then about halfway through, the orchestra expands. It elevates again for the last chorus. And the song ends with some “na na na”s. The arrangement builds, but not to anything worthwhile. The staging involves two couples interacting with each other, with plenty of arm movements. The lyrics celebrate their love ever since they were children on the merry-go-round.

Finland: Seija Simola - Anna rakkaudelle tilaisuus Seija has some advice for her baby son for when he grows up: love others and don't succumb to prejudice. Musically, it's... fine. There's a brassy intro, then the verses are a pretty piano ballad, as Seija gives a warm performance. The strings slide in for the pre-chorus and the orchestra fills the chorus. But the chorus melody is grating (especially with the backing vocals). The instrumental stumble after “...aika uus” is alright though.

Portugal: Gemini - Dai li dou The most annoying chorus of '78, between the repetitive “dai li, dai li”s and the “papagaio voa” screeches. And it's another group of two couples. They sway around, they bump into each other by swinging side-to-side, they get super close, and they raise their hands when the beat stops. I don't really care for this staging. The song is light and breezy, and somewhat energetic, but also bland. And there's a false ending (ugh). The lyrics are about flying a kite. It makes them feel like a kid again and they ask it for guidance.

France: Joël Prévost - Il y aura toujours des violons This grandiose chorus is simultaneously epic and tedious. It's kinda sorrowful, and the melody is impactful and memorable, but the pacing and overwhelming strings are the issue. It's like walking in sludge. It definitely has violins though! And the pounding chorus transition works. The verses are quieter and mainly stick to the piano. The backing has a nice texture during them. The intro plays the chorus instrumental. And there's a key change. Joël also gives a good performance. The lyrics say you can enjoy the freedoms of being single, but love will always exist around you.

Spain: José Vélez - Bailemos un vals José's constant smiling is charismatic. I like when he stands closer to the audience. The jittery chorus melody and the “nana nana nai na nana”s are catchy, but I can see how it might annoy some people. The intro sounds Spanish, with the horns and shakers. I like the deep strings. The verses have light booms, descending bits, and backing “dada”s. The chorus starts with a beat stop and it ends by building and breaking tension. And there's an intense outro. The backing vocals are rough though. In the lyrics, José hasn't heard from Michèle since their summer together. He hopes they can dance a waltz again.

United Kingdom: Co-Co - The Bad Old Days The UK's worst placement so far (11th), and they were consistently top 4 before this. The softer verses are fine, but the chorus sounds so flat. The rapid jabbing violins completely drown it out. The emphatic horn intro and the perky transitions stick with me though. There's also mid-chorus tumbles and a key change. I dislike the “doo-bee-do” bridge though. The band's bright, colourful outfits are camp. They twist left and right a bunch, while the drummer speaks through a cone (for some reason). And once again, there's couples hugging. The lyrics are kinda basic with weak metaphors. Basically, they felt lost and incomplete, but finding love ended their “bad old days”.

Switzerland: Carole Vinci - Vivre A generic, forgettable ballad with an annoying chorus melody. Carole's voice is lovely though. The intro plays the chorus instrumental. The verses have a springtime meadows vibe until the strings arrive, while the backing emphasizes certain parts. The chorus unleashes the heavy strings, ending in a scurrying bit. And she ends with a long note. In the lyrics, Carole wants to forget the past and restart the relationship. She asks why not believe they'll be happy.

Belgium: Jean Vallée - L'amour ça fait chanter la vie As the runner-up, this is Belgium's best placement so far. The song matches the classy vibe of this year's contest. But... I don't understand the hype. It's a boring, dated ballad from the black-and-white era. I quickly forget how it goes. It gradually builds without me noticing it, but in an unexciting way. After the woodwind intro, it's a piano ballad. Then the drums, heavy strings and backing voices emerge one by one. And there's a tense outro. He gives a professional performance at least. The lyrics describe the impact love has on someone.

Netherlands: Harmony - 't Is OK Another bland song with decent verses, but the chorus sounds flat and annoying. The stage presence seems awkward too? There's so much swaying and they keep giving a thumbs up. The thick strings drown the chorus out, but the triple bangs during “'t Is OK” are effective. And those rising and falling string riffs stick with me. The verses have whimsical whistles too. But the song is missing something. The lyrics try to change someone's pessimistic outlook on life. They advise singing this happy song and having sympathy.

Turkey: Nilüfer & Nazar - Sevince Another group of two couples. The unserious choreo and Turkish outfits are fun. And the instrumental is hectic and urgent. It opens with busy piano and thunder. Then the piano, heavy strings, and double drum bangs drive things. But I quickly forget what the song sounds like. The melody is weak. On stage, the women face backwards at first, as everyone snaps their fingers. Then they all hold hands. They stand arms akimbo. They clap and walk around during the instrumental break. The women twirl into the men's arms. And they circle around their mic stands. Lyrically, it's a love song that repeats lines, but with an opposite verb or inverting the subject/object. Turkey has a similar entry in 1984 that's better.

Germany: Ireen Sheer - Feuer 13 songs in, and this is easily the best so far. It sounds like a James Bond movie, where the villain has trapped him in an inferno. I love the '70s synth moments with the bass piano. I like how the verses smooth out on the 2nd and 4th lines, with a piano/string response after. The “FEUER! FEUER!” shouts are great. The rest of the chorus has an increasing danger vibe. There's also a cymbal smash, shaky strings, and rolling drums. And Ireen ends on a big note. She brings good stage presence and vocals. And she tosses her shawl at one point. In the lyrics, Ireen resists men to avoid being controlled. But the fire inside her is inescapable. She says there's no danger and gives in to curiosity.

Monaco: Caline & Olivier Toussaint - Les jardins de Monaco The lyrics are cute. The pair asks each other if they remember their childhood hobbies, and reminisce over falling in love in the gardens on Monaco, while listing famous “couples”. The sawing strings and pounding piano drive the verses and create tension. While the chorus erases that tension. It brings out the hand drums, and it has a catchy and memorable hook, but I prefer the verses. Otherwise, the duo seems to have chemistry.

Greece: Tania Tsanaklidou - Charlie Chaplin Tania feels nostalgic for the silent film star Charlie Chaplin. The lyrics describe his signature attire and what his movies were like. Coincidentally, Monaco's lyrics also mentioned his name. Tania even dresses like Chaplin - she wears a suit and she pulls out a bowler hat and cane during the instrumental break. Her stage presence is like a theatre MC. The ragtime piano and whistles create a 1920s vibe. I like that rushed piano riff. And the “Chaaaar-liiiie Chaplin” hook is catchy. Otherwise, the verses start with sawing strings. And the orchestra consumes the chorus.

Denmark: Mabel - Boom Boom I'm a sucker for Nordic melodies and Mabel's performance is sweet and uplifting. Plus the explosive cymbal crashes are fun. The verses are an acoustic guitar jam. Then the pre-chorus quickens the pace nicely. While the orchestra becomes noticeable in the chorus. And there's an instrumental bridge. On stage, one guy pounds a drum with a painted heart on it. The lyrics are a conversation, where one member explains his doctor visit, while his friend keeps interrupting him lol. The doctor said his “boom boom” heartbeat is because of a crush. It's funny.

Luxembourg: Baccara - Parlez-vous français? Baccara VERY recently had two major European hits with “Yes Sir, I Can Boogie” and “Sorry, I'm a Lady”. They're a Spanish duo singing in French... hence the title. The song is a conversation, where they talk and sing seductively, so it's another 'left field' entry from Luxembourg. On stage, María “accidentally” bumps into Mayte and asks about her French beach trip. Mayte mentions this dreamy man whose pick-up line was “parlez-vous français?” Mayte then promises to bring María there next time! The brassy, drum-clattering intro creates hype. I like when the duo echoes off each other. The 'DA-da-DA' pre-chorus build-up is great. The bending chorus strings and the casual vocal style are hypnotic. And there's even a dance break!

Israel: Izhar Cohen & the Alphabeta - A-Ba-Ni-Bi (winner review below)

Austria: Springtime - Mrs. Caroline Robinson Well, the title hook is memorable, but the strange lyrics turn me off. It's about a witch who becomes sexier and attracts the male gaze after ditching her broomstick. She also likes TV and fashion! Uhh, sure. The song starts with piano dings, then it's a light rock thing, then the strings dominate after that. The verses are ballad-y, but the pre-chorus switches back too suddenly. The chorus has a nice melody, but they sound smug? Otherwise, there's horn eruptions, the bridge returns to the intro, and there's a tense outro.

Sweden: Björn Skifs - Det blir alltid värre framåt natten It's the lead singer of Blue Swede, best known for covering “Hooked on a Feeling” (“OOGA CHAKA”). This isn't the most interesting piano ballad, but it has a cathartic vibe. The chorus doesn't go anywhere, but I like when the post-chorus softens. In the lyrics, Björn lists what keeps him happy during the day and evening. He enjoys the freedom of being single. But near nighttime, the loneliness and heartbreak return. He notably forgot those lyrics and sang the first verse in gibberish.

The Winner:

Israel nabs their first win after just 6 participations. They've been doing quite well these previous 5 years, so a win was probably inevitable. Sure, “A-Ba-Ni-Bi” won a weak contest (the only other song that gave me winner vibes this year was Germany), but I think it's a strong winner regardless.

The lyrics look back at Izhar's childhood, when it wasn't acceptable for children to express love to someone, unless it was a family member. So instead, they said it in the Bet language, which is like the Hebrew equivalent of Pig Latin. Basically, a rhyming bet is added after each syllable. The song's chorus repeats the phrase “I love you” in Bet language, where “ani ohev otach” turns into “a-ba-ni-bi o-bo-he-bev o-bo-ta-bach”. The lyrics later shift to the present, where Izhar can freely say the beautiful word.

The orchestra does a good job here, and the switch-ups work really well. Most of the song is upbeat, but the intro sounds dark, with the keyboards and bass guitar. And the second verse slows down into a smooth ballad, leading to an intense set-up for the next chorus to impact even harder. The booming drums and rolling drums are dramatic. The horn section is a highlight (particularly the chorus pips and pre-chorus horns). The first verse has stray strings. There's a dramatic outro. The stop when the chorus hits is effective. And the hand drums add a cultural texture. There's even a hand drum breakdown that includes a dance break. The song is also cohesive and catchy.

This is the closest thing to a disco song winning Eurovision. It sounds fresh, which goes against the dated vibes of this year's contest.

The performance is energetic. They alternate balancing on their left or right foot. They walk around their limited space. And they raise arms or twirl upon the chorus. Izhar also looks comfortable on stage, and the ballad verse showcases his vocals.

Winner rank: “A” tier

My points go to.... 01. Israel: Izhar Cohen & the Alphabeta - A-Ba-Ni-Bi 02. Germany: Ireen Sheer - Feuer 03. Luxembourg: Baccara - Parlez-vous français? 04. Denmark: Mabel - Boom Boom 05. Greece: Tania Tsanaklidou - Charlie Chaplin 06. Monaco: Caline & Olivier Toussaint - Les jardins de Monaco 07. Spain: José Vélez - Bailemos un vals 08. France: Joël Prévost - Il y aura toujours des violons 09. Finland: Seija Simola - Anna rakkaudelle tilaisuus 10. Ireland: Colm C. T. Wilkinson - Born to Sing

11. United Kingdom: Co-Co - The Bad Old Days 12. Sweden: Björn Skifs - Det blir alltid värre framåt natten 13. Austria: Springtime - Mrs. Caroline Robinson 14. Switzerland: Carole Vinci - Vivre 15. Turkey: Nilüfer & Nazar - Sevince 16. Netherlands: Harmony - 't Is OK 17. Italy: Ricchi e Poveri - Questo amore 18. Belgium: Jean Vallée - L'amour ça fait chanter la vie 19. Portugal: Gemini - Dai li dou 20. Norway: Jahn Teigen - Mil etter mil

[cafeleningrad]

o(*^▽^*)┛ Let's have so much tea that we won't be able to sleep : Rosehip tea, Earl Grey, Chai, Darjeeling, Hop tea, Peppermint tea, Flowering tea, 24 flavors and Cloud tea

(o゜▽゜)o🍵┏━┓ 🍵o(≧▽≦*)o

Dearest, thank you for your curiosity! Since I'm sick and worn out, all the tea is not only welcome but welcome in times of dire need for it. Rosehip tea - Which book did you love when you were younger? Don't call me Ishmael by Michael Gerard Bauer. Not only was the book very funny, the joy of debating accompanied up until university where I joined a debate club. It was perhaps one of my most formative experiences in my life, traveling a lot, making friends across the globe, and meeting my long term partner. All thanks to this book.

Earl Grey: Which countries have you visited? Many... I've also lived in some of the places, so... Ireland, France, Denmark, Sweden, Germany, USA, Canada, Switzerland, Russia, Italy, Slovenia, Belgium, the Netherlands, Norway, Estonia (but I was too young to remember), Hungary , Poland, South Korea, Le Réunion (French DOM-TOM area), England.

Chai: Where do you want to travel next? Good question. Next year is sure going to be busy but definitely France to celebrate an important birthday of a relative. My partner and I are loosely planning on making a joint South-Korea-family-visit then Japan-as-holiday trip but... when will we have time? (And surely not during summer time.) On more realistic terms, I dearly wish to visit a dear friend in London sooner than later, and my brother and I want to cover our blind spot of not having visited the Baltic region yet.

Darjeeling: What languages do you speak? French, English, German Spanish. I once was capable of A1 Irish Sign Language but with no opportunity to practice... Now I'm currently trying to learn Korean, and maybe pick up Japanese again for work-related reasons.

Hop tea: Do you have a favourite tea? Which one? Ouoh, good one. Usually I prefer astringent teas with out additional perfuming. From the green tea variations Gunpowder is one of my favourites. For pleasure, white tea and yellow tea are a real treat to me. But the absolute favourite is the misleadingly called Duckshit tea. A new favourite I discovered on the Danish country side is, another animal themed title, dog rose tea. It's floral yet nowhere sweet.

Peppermint tea: What is your favourite gif at the moment? None, actually.

Flowering tea: What is a movie you can always watch? Star Dust (2007, dir. Matthew Vaughn) just for the whimse, and Robert de Niro in the probably best role of his life. Bad Genius (2017, dir. Nattawaut Poonpiriya) for a flawless thriller which has all the complications of class struggle, interpersonal struggle, and ability to make a pencil the most exciting McGuffin possible. The talented Mr. Ripley (1999, dir. Anthony Minghella) What shall I say? Visually gorgeous, cat and mouse game with a protagonist trapped in a hell of his own making. After Almodóvar, this movie was fomartive in my teenage years that queer movies don't have to limited to the sensation that homosexuality exists but give a full range of character and good story telling. Summer Wars (2009, dir. Hosoda Mamorou) Stellar animation, heart felt.

24 flavors: What is your favourite word? Hngh... you do know that I previously studied linguistics? Terrible question because I really can't decide.

Cloud tea: Which movie do you want to watch next? Konklave (dir. Edward Berger) and Nosferatu (dir. Robert Eggers). (And only this time my local Indie theater is failing me since. it. doesn't. screen. them. I've to watch them somewhere else ಠ_ಠ)

[a-god-in-ruins-rises]

another ck3 saxon campaign update

prince detmar of saxony turned out to be a very magnanimous and gregarious ruler. first thing he did was negotiate a treaty with the king of geatland, making geatland a tributary of saxony, with the promise of peaceful annexation after 20 years. on top of that, he arranged for the assassination of the king of geatland's one and only son. this made it so the princess, who is married to detmar's son bernd, would inherit the throne. assuming he doesn't have anymore sons anyway. which, thankfully, he didn't! and he died from some disease a few years later. so the unifcation of saxony with scandinavia was all but assured. either with peaceful annexation after 20 years or through the eventual inheritance of detmar's grandchildren.

other than that, detmar's rule was rather uneventful. he spent most of it hosting feasts, tournaments, and royal tours. his father was deeply feared and despised tyrant, so when he took the throne he had to make an active effort to raise everyone's opinion of himself. and in this regard he had much success. in his 20-ish year rule he became much loved by virtually all of his vassals. this will also inevitably help his son when it is time for him to succeed the throne, not just because it will make his son more well-liked but it will also make it easier to ensure the electors of each kingdom (i make every kingdom elective -- again i'm roleplaying as a bunch of republics) vote for him.

the only wars he really waged were a few wars aiding his cousin in england. mostly in conquering wales and most of scotland. he also established a foothold in ireland and gave it to his second son. by the end of his rule, detmar was able to conquer enough of ireland to create the kingdom of ireland title. he wa also able to usurp the kingdom of wales and the pictish kingdom/scotland. all of this, plus the annexation of geatland put detmar in control of the kingdoms of: saxony, frisia, sorbia, pomerania, denmark, geatland, norway, sweden, finland, sapmi, england, wales, scotland, and ireland.

all of which were inherited by his son bernd upon his death. and bernd promptly proceded to consolidate all of these kingdoms into a new pan-germanic pagan empire.

for the time being i have given this new empire the name of "thiudisca" which just translates to "land of the (saxon/german-speaking) people". but i am open to possibly changing it to something else. i was thinking about "eidgenossenschaft" but i'm having some trouble translating that to old saxon (or old english or old norse).

i also think i am going to reform or hybridize my saxon culture to commemorate the birth of this new empire, with a new pan-germanic national identity. but i need some ideas for what the name of such a culture might be. will have to think on that.

but in any case, this new emperor, bernd, looks like he's poised to be a pretty glorious rulers. he's got a lot of great traits and seems prepared for war (against francia maybe?).

speaking of francia, i'm about 5 years into bernd's rule and there have been some interesting developments. the emperor of francia somehow managed to have no sons. only 5 daughters. and so, i don't know how the game worked it out, but the french emperor's heir is some "king of wessex" (what? how does that even exist when i'm king of england?) who owns one single county: the county of the isle of wight.

wtf. i didn't even know this guy existed. i totally overlooked the isle of wight this whole time. my dynasty has pretty much ruled england for almost 100 years at this point and i never once noticed the isle of wight. or the fact that it was the last refuge of some "king of wessex".

all this fucking time and the house of wessex has survived by hiding under the radar on this shitty fucking island. and now he is about to inherit the entire empire of francia. i don't even get how. apparently one of his grandparents was a king of france or something? i don't fucking know.

but honestly this is the kinda shit i love this game for. sometimes the most unexpected shit happens and it just makes for good stories.

oh and the funny thing is, the emperor of francia is a roman catholic, right? the entire empire is roman catholic, of course. but this king of wessex guy? apparently at some point his family had converted to our germanic paganism. so lol, the catholic empire of francia might soon be ruled by a pagan anglo-saxon. shit maybe i should try to marry my family into his while he's still a mere king.

also another thing like this; apparently one of my (bernd's) uncles somehow became elected king of poland? and now he's an old man on death's door and bernd is the current king-elect? so bernd might be adding poland to his empire?

[remembertheliver]

Hi,

So currently it’s 11:27 PM. I’m in Ireland right now. Dublin. I go home tomorrow. I’m not gonna lie I’m actually super super excited to get home… I love it here but I miss my bed and my dogs and etc.

I’m so insanely lucky that I get to travel like this, like I can’t express how grateful I am. In terms of foreign countries so far I’ve been to France, Monaco, Costa Rica, Canada, and now Ireland. Technically I’ve been to the Bahamas but I was super young and don’t remember so I don’t count it. I do really want to go to Asia and Africa. I’m honestly happy going anywhere. I think you can find something valuable anywhere that you go and I truly think there is beauty in all parts of the world.

I’m experiencing heartbreak, or at least the tail end of it. I like(d?) my current (internet) best friend. I realized in like December 2022. It’s been over a year and a half. Anyway, she got a girlfriend in like May of last year and I kind of forced myself to get over her even though I wasn’t really over her. She ended up breaking up with her ex maybe a month ago now. I wanted to wait but my feelings were bothering me so much, and I was really drunk so I told her. We talked and screwed around for like three weeks until she eventually cut it off.

I understand why she did it. It’s not sustainable at all. She’s halfway across the country from me. I’m starting college, she’s starting her senior year of high school. She needs someone that’s there. I knew we wouldn’t be in a relationship, not now anyway.

I’m more bothered now because she’s started dating a guy. A man. It just feels like a knife to the gut, that she moved on from something so passionate so quickly, and that she moved on with a guy. You know? It’s like, I dunno. She keeps making these jokes about how straight she is. Like. Idiot! I know you aren’t straight! The jokes aren’t funny! It just all around sucks.

I still really love her. I don’t know if I will ever stop loving her. I feel kind of guilty because like, she has a lot going on. I’m not gonna elaborate on her personal life because it isn’t my business to share that in my corner of the internet. It’s really hard, really terrible shit that no one should ever have to experience, especially not as a teenager on the cusp of adulthood. It’s good that she has someone that she likes, and someone that likes her. I’m just really really torn up about the whole ordeal.

Part of me is like, well I’m not an idiot. High school relationships rarely last. This is probably temporary, sure. She and I are supposed to meet next summer. I have no intentions of getting into a longterm committed relationship during my freshman year of college. Maybe she’ll be single then. Anything can happen. If she can even come. I really hope she can come. Like, I don’t believe in god really, but I’m praying. Like really hard.

The angry part of me is like, well I’m too good for her! I’m sooo smart and strange and deep. Which like, I don’t think “too good” or “out of her league” is a good descriptor for anything. Part of me feels like, leagues ahead of other people my age just in terms of how I think about the world and my relationships and etc. And that she probably doesn’t necessarily view the world the same way, at least not yet. She’s not an idiot. She’s a lovely, wonderful, vibrant, talented person. I think she just needs some more time to grow. Not that I don’t need that either, but for my age and situation I feel pretty well adjusted.

I’ve been getting better about all of it. There was some crying on the kitchen floor when it happened initially, but I’m a lot better. It was so bad that I came out to my mom, because I wanted her to lean on. I wanted her to know that I was enduring my first ever heartbreak, that I didn’t ever think I’d experience feeling that way for someone (a topic for another time). She didn’t judge me. A week and a half later she gave me a hug when I told her that the girl I loved was dating a man.

Despite all the shitty feelings, I am so grateful. I will miss Ireland severely. I’ll miss Jameson and ginger too. My new drink of choice.

8/13/2024

[eurovision-revisited]

Eurovision 2003 - Televoting Watch

The fallout from the 2002 vote-buying allegations saw the EBU attempting to eradicate the juries once again. And once again there were still three juries used. In this case there were only supposed to be two (Bosnia & Herzegovina and Russia) but in Ireland, RTÉs televoting partner failed to deliver the votes in time and had to rely on their back-up jury - something that the Russian delegation would later strongly complain about.

Given there were only three juries, the conclusions from the results aren't maybe as interesting as 2002 or 2001, but there are still notable differences.

Looking first at the effects of running order and the reverse recap, now in use for the second year - and what wonder is this? The first-half of the running order got the most votes! A first! And even more surprising, the televote favoured the first-half more strongly.

The overall difference between the first and second halves of the running order is still second narrowest so far (only last year was closer), so for the second year, the running order was effectively nullified.

This reverse recap thing, it really works you know EBU. You wouldn't go back to the normal recap next year would you, now that it's having a positive balancing effect..?

Oh. Bother.

Also gone were the vote buying allegations and dodgy juries. The only complaint was from Russia about the Irish televote failure, but RTÉ later released the late televote results and showed that the only difference would have been Russia beating Belgium for second. Interestingly if the Russian jury hadn't given Belgium three points that would also have been the case!

If Russia really wanted to be upset at someone it should have been the Bosnian jury. They gave Türkiye 12, Belgium 10 and Russia 3. Without their vote, Russia would have won, and Belgium and Türkiye would have tied for second place.

The only discernible trend with the jury and televotes is the old one. Juries go for traditional ballads and big voices, while televoters go for the pop, the jokes and the more recognisable acts. This year the Netherlands, Malta, Estonia, Slovenia, France and Croatia all got more that 40% of their points from the three juries, while Ireland, Bosnia, Cyprus, Poland and Latvia got all of their points from the televote.

Belgium won the overall jury vote with Russia winning the televote.

The voting year was possibly the best its ever been. There were some signs of a growing diasporic effect in the televote (beyond the usual Greek-Cyprus douze fest), the vote buying seems to have largely vanished and the voting sequence was possibly the most dramatic and involving its ever been.

Incidentally, if the Irish had used a televote instead of a backup jury, the UK would still have received no points at all!