#late night rwby posting with the lampman

[the-lampman]

Steven Universe, Oscar Pine, Hunter Wittebane Noceda Clawthorne Deamonne Park, my beloveds

[the-lampman]

Guys, I just realized something. About this scene where Hazel sets himself on fire to burn Salem, guys, this is hilarious

Salem is a witch.

They literally burned the witch at the steak!

Get it!??!??? Steak!!

Because Hazel is such a beefcake!!!

[the-lampman]

RWBY Weapon Reviews: Clover Ebi’s Kingfisher

Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he’ll become a huntsman.

Hello and welcome! I am The Lampman, I know nothing about weapons, but I’m gonna pretend like I do! Today I will be discussing Clover Ebi’s Kingfisher and judge it based on five categories; Design, Short Range, Long Range, Mobility, and Versatility.

I’ve already talked about Clover’s weapon in THIS post. Now, that post was meant mostly as a joke, but I got some interesting and thought provoking responses, so I thought I’d go back and give Kingfisher a fair evaluation, a fair game, if you will.

Description Kingfisher is a collapsible metal fishing rod. It has a handle, a styalized reel, and a long rod extending from the handle with a hook at the end. The hook is attached to a wire which lets it extend.

Design We’re not starting off strong, I’m afraid. The design of Kingfisher is the main reason I don’t like this weapon. The rod itself looks flimsy and like it’d break easily. There is also no real weight behind it, which really limits the power of Clover’s blows. The one positive I’ll give it is that it looks like what it’s supposed to look like. It looks like a high-tech fishing rod. 2/10

Close Range This is where tings get a bit complicated. In my original post, my main complaint was that this thing was useless for killing Grimm. But… is that really what it’s made for? Because the hook of the weapon makes Kingfisher excellent for things like disarming or tripping up human* opponents. It’s basically a hook sword, with a smaller hook that’s on a string.

So if we assume that Clover built this weapon in order to primarily take down armed human* opponents in a non-lethal way, then this weapon is actually pretty great.

(*and faunus)

With that in mind, I’d give Kingfisher a 6/10

Long Range If Kingfisher has a gun mode, we never see it. But that doesn’t mean Kingfisher is completely useless at range. In fact, it might be argued Kingfisher is best used at a distance to hook and snare enemies. This is particularly useful while fighting alongside a team, because Clover can disarm, trip, or snare the enemy while someone else goes in for the takedown. The lack of actual power does hurt it a bit still, so it doesn’t get more than a 6/10

Mobility It’s a grappling hook. Do I even need to say more? 8/10

I guess the one downside is that if he get stuck in a flat area with nothing to hook on to, he’s kinda screwed. But when’s that ever gonna happen??? As long as Clover watches his back, I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Versatility Kingfisher excels at mobility and utility. It can be used to disarm enemies, control their weapons, zip around the battlefield, control the environment… As we’ve seen, when Clover has allies, he tends to take on a more passive role, helping his teammates out with Kingfisher and his semblance of Good Luck. So it is very good in that regard, however, I will dock a few points due to the lack of solid attack options, as well as the lack of any dust. 7/10

Bonus Round! The name Kingfisher on its own is really cool. I find the ”king” part especially to be neat, since Clover is a huntsman working for Ironwood; almost like a knight working under the king. But it goes deeper; kingfishers are a family of birds, and in some cultures they’re believed to bring good luck. Neat!

But wait! It goes even deeper than that. A bird motif is very relevant, considering Clover’s friendship* with Qrow.

(*just the best of friends, you know, two bros chilling in a hot tub, sitting five feet apart…)

For this, I will reward Kingfisher two additional points!

Final Score Clover Ebi’s Kingfisher gets a final score of 31/50!

…which is surprisingly high. For reference, using this same method of judgement, Crescent Rose and Myrtenaster got 38 and 29 points respectively.

When looking at Clover and the role he plays within the Ace Ops, his weapon of choice kinda makes sense. He’s less of a Ruby and more of a Jaune when it comes to leading. He strategizes, coordinates, and provides support. Kingfisher lets him swing around the battlefield to whichever teammate needs a luck boost.

@one-real-wrimonkey pointed out something interesting in the reblogs to my original post which ties into the connection with Qrow. Kingfisher is best utilized at a medium distance, and Clover is best when he’s working with his team or other fighters. Contrast this to Qrow, who is a melee fighter who is used to working alone.

”Qrow is the bad luck, the solo act, the close quarters fighter. Clover is the good luck, the team player, the support fighter. It does work narratively.”

Also, Robyn was there.

And that’s the real reason Tyrian killed Clover. He knew that if he left him alive, Clover might come to his senses, join up with Qrow & Robyn, and together they’d become the strongest power throuple in Atlas.

[the-lampman]

RWBY Weapon Review: Robyn Hill

Robyn Hill is a huntress, vigilante and politician, a hero and protector of the people in Mantle. And while she might’ve lost the election to a man wearing a clip-on tie, she is no pushover when it comes to actual fighting.

Hello and welcome to what I’m sure is the beginning of a new, exciting series where I, someone who knows nothing about weapons, reviews weapons from RWBY. Tonight’s subject is Robyn Hill’s unnamed wrist mounted crossbow.

I will be judging the weapon based on five criteria: Design, Short Range, Long Range, Mobility, and Versatility. The weapon will receive between zero and ten points in each category. These are then added up for the final score.

Let’s begin!

Design We’re starting of strong, because I do love this design! I respect how Robyn went all in with the bird design, with a beak, wings that fold out, and the stored arrows looking like tail feathers is a clever touch. I will dock a point simply for it being a wrist-mounted crossbow. They always look so flimsy and weak, and the arrows are by necessity small. And while the steel grey looks fine, it could maybe use a little more color. 9/10

Close Range The wings have sharp edges and act almost like a war fan. The shield mode is also a nice touch for a little more defense. I don’t think it’s great for close quarters, but it’s certainly sufficient. 5/10

Long Range You’d think this would be where the weapon shines. But guns exist on Remnant. The crossbow isn’t very big, so I can’t imagine there is a whole lot of force behind those arrows. 4/10

(Sidenote: Robyn is based on Robin Hood, THE most famous sharpshooter in all of fiction. Yet I don’t feel like we see her pull off that many trickshots. We see her bounce two arrows off walls in the fight against Tyrian and that's it)

Mobility ...unless Robyn’s got a grappling hook arrow we haven’t seen her use yet… 0/10

Versatility There are plenty of archers in fiction who use all sorts of fun trick arrows, and they are always a bunch of fun. So it’s a bit disappointing we only ever see Robyn use one trick arrow, an explosive arrow. It was effective, I won’t argue with that, but it’s a little basic. With all kinds of dust out there, there are any number of arrows she could have at her disposal. Imagine if she had an arrow filled with earth dust. It could be like Green Arrow’s boxing glove arrow, but she smacks her enemy with a rock instead. It’d be fun

This weapon has a lot of versatility in theory, but from what we’ve seen, it falls short. Still, the war fan/shield modes are a nice addition. 5/10

Bonus Round! The weapon being a bird alludes to Robyn’s name, since Robin is also a kind of bird. That’s about it. This weapon doesn’t even have an official name. I will be rewarding no extra points.

Final Score Robyn Hill’s unnamed wrist-mounted crossbow/war fan receives 23/50 points. If we get to see her fight more and use her weapon in more interesting ways, maybe that rating will go up, but as it stands, a rather poor showing.

You know, Robyn attended Atlas Academy to become a huntress. And while it’s said that she graduated at the top of her class, any lessons in how to build a proper weapon were clearly wasted on her. Call that The Miseducation of Robyn Hill.

…yes, I wrote this whole thing just for that one joke.

This was pretty fun though, maybe I’ll make more

Until next time!

[the-lampman]

This is how Ruby found out she likes Weiss

Blake: I can read people, very easily. Like they're books.

Ruby: Oh yeah? What can you say about me?

Blake: That you like Weiss.

Ruby:

Ruby: *blushing* say whaaaaat?

Blake: You talk really fast when you're excited about something. Say for instance, when Crescent Rose gets an upgrade or you get us to try a new team attack.

Ruby: Uh huh, uh huh. *nodding*

Blake: Whenever you talk about Weiss, or around Weiss you talk super fast.

Ruby:

Ruby: Say whaaaaat?

[the-lampman]

The RWBY brainworms are outcompeting the The Owl house brainworms. When I saw this, my first thought wasn’t ”Oh my Titan! It’s harpy Luz!” No, my first thought was ”Oh my Gods! It’s faunus Luz!"

This is not good because I really need to get back to working on my TOH fic…

Irregardless, great work op!

I just really wanted to draw wings today honestly

[the-lampman]

Good stuff, good stuff

Qrow definitely taught Yang the… grapple she used against Junior in the Yellow Trailer.

Going slightly off track, I really do love how Qrow will just slug a dude if he needs to. He is a man of many talents and refuses to be pigeonholed* into one fighting style.

(*pun intended)

My headcanon is that during their Team STRQ days at Beacon, Qrow and Tai spent a lot of time together training and sparring, and it was Tai that really instilled in Qrow the importance of being able to defend himself without a weapon. That is a lesson that Qrow has always remembered and it has gotten him out of many rough spots.

Also, the reason Qrow (or Tai for that matter) never taught Ruby to Punch Good is because he figured they had two more years to train before she went off to Beacon (Qrow never had any doubts his super talented baby niece would get in). He mainly taught her how to use the scythe first, because the potential for Ruby to accidentally bisect herself is significantly higher while swinging around an enormous sniper-scythe than if she was throwing punches at a punching bag.

We know that Qrow helped train Ruby, but I firmly believe he also helped train Yang.

You can’t tell me Qrow ‘might as well just punch my opponent’ Branwen wasn’t involved in Yang’s childhood training too. He didn’t only train Ruby, no way.

And sure he probably let Tai take the lead once he knew Yang wanted to focus on a hand to hand style but he definitely still taught her a few underhand moves from his own childhood.

I also firmly believe he taught Yang how to use a sword so that if she ever needed to pick up a sword she’d win that fight. He made sure she was versatile the same way Yang helped Ruby with her hand to hand later on. If Yang ever needed to use a sword in a fight, Harbinger or any other sword, she is more than capable of kicking butt.

Yang just prefers hand to hand.

[the-lampman]

Great work, I love the green

...something about the way you drew his hair makes me think of Tintin, especially the Secret of the Unicorn film.

An alternative clover outfit for Vacuo 👀

[the-lampman]

Ugh, I just wanted to make a fun shitpost, and now we’re thinking!??!!?!?!? That’s like the opposite of fun!

No, but a lot of great points brought up. Who’d’ve ever thought that such a minor weapon for such a short-lived character would spark so much discussion and theory crafting?

My BIGGEST Criticism of RWBY!!

The thing that I HATE the most in this show is Clover’s stupid, stupid weapon.

Look at it, look at this stupid thing:

It’s a fishing rod. And not that fishing rods canät ever be used as weapons, look at Pesci from JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure. Actually, don’t look at him, he’s ugly.

But Clover is a huntsman. And huntsmen are supposed to kill giant monsters.

How

In

Remnant

Are you supposed to kill a giant monster with this thing!?!??!????

Picture for a moment, if you will, the Ace Ops, fighting against a horde of Grimm invading Mantle. Marrow and Harriet are dealing with some of the smaller ones while Elm, Vine, and Clover take on a Nevermore that managed to slip past the defenses. The Nevermore swoops low to the ground, where Elm and Vine manage to restrain it, if only for a little while. Clover goes in for the kill!

Only for the tip of his fishing rod to sink into the thick plumage of the dark bird to no effect. The Nevermore frees itself and kills everyone.

Is the tip of the hook even sharp? It doesn’t look like it to me. He’s got that little harpoon thing on the handle of the rod. So I guess he can stab Grimm with that? But again, what’s that gonna do against a Nevermore, or a Megoliath or… anything that isn’t a human without aura, really?

And look, when it comes to fighting people, Clover’s weapon is pretty good, he was able to use it to great effect against both Qrow and Tyrian. But I reiterate: Clover is a huntsman. Huntsmen are first and foremost meant to fight Grimm. That’s why Ruby is so bad at fighting people! Because her weapon and fighting style are made for fighting large monsters.

Bram Thornmane was on to something, because if I was him and Gladstone Gander with a fishing stick got into the Ace Ops over me, I’d be furious too!

Really though, I think the thing that bothers me the most is that it looks so flimsy. The actual rod is collapsible, and with those three segments, it looks a lot like the rickety floor lamp standing next to my desk, providing me illumination in this dark winter night as I angrily type this.

It’s not even also a gun! How are you a RWBY character with a weapon that is not also a gun!!??1!?+?

The name is really cool though. The weapon is called Kingfisher. Aside from the obvious thing, allusion to Clover being inspired by A Fisherman’s Good Luck, kingfishers are also a family of birds (I have a lego model of one!). These birds are believed to bring good luck in some cultures, which alludes to Clover’s literary inspiration and semblance of course. However, the use of a bird motif is interesting considering his friendship with Qrow. Clever setup, punchline is ”birds of a feather.”

So yeah. That is my biggest gripe with RWBY, and of course, this is just my personal (objectively factual) opinion (true, indisputable fact), and I would love to hear yours. Are there any more weapons from RWBY that you would like me to talk about? If this post gets one like, I’ll make a follow-up where I rag on Robyn’s stupid weapon. Don’t forget to like and subscribe and I’ll see you next time!

[the-lampman]

please laugh

Guys, I just realized something. About this scene where Hazel sets himself on fire to burn Salem, guys, this is hilarious

Salem is a witch.

They literally burned the witch at the steak!

Get it!??!??? Steak!!

Because Hazel is such a beefcake!!!

[the-lampman]

...y-you're, ah... you're not laughing, so I don't think you... understood the joke...

Guys, I just realized something. About this scene where Hazel sets himself on fire to burn Salem, guys, this is hilarious

Salem is a witch.

They literally burned the witch at the steak!

Get it!??!??? Steak!!

Because Hazel is such a beefcake!!!