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puppypeter · 4 years ago

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✨ All fics are complete! ✨

He Loves Me Cause I’m Cute, He Thinks I’m Pretty Funny | 2588 words 📱

He watches it back one more time after it posts, checking for typos in his subtitles and captions, and has to laugh again.

Steve fucking Rogers? His brain thought he could pull Captain America, literal superhero and America’s favorite sweetheart?

“Hello I’m a 35 year old amputee living in New York and I think that I could get Steve Rogers.”

the one where bucky posts a tiktok and steve is utterly smitten.

Summer Slipped Us Underneath Her Tongue | 10712 words 🧳

Bucky is a tour guide who enjoys sharing the rich history and culture of each city they pass through with a bunch of early-20's college students who just want to know the cheapest place to get drunk.

Except for Steve, who asks Bucky for a personal tour around his hometown.

The rest is, as they say, history.

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet | 3853 words 🧑🏼‍🍳

“I made soda bread.” Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.” The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

Ollie Meets Bagel | 5517 words 🥯

He was a skater boy, Steve said let's get bagels, boy.

Steve wants to start doing this twenty-first century thing properly. He gets help in the form of skateboarding, skateboarders, bagels, and Sam Wilson.

Taxi | 5113 words 🚕

Bucky Barnes was, he hoped, a good taxi driver.

He's so good, he actually tries to return lost property that ends up left in his car and... well. It has some unexpected consequences involving a National Icon.

Enough said.

Leg Day | 12157 words 🏋️‍♂️

“So talk to him,” Sam says.

“I can’t,” Bucky groans. “I can’t, Sam, I. He just.” He fluffs his hair up and stares at Sam, distraught. “I want him to bench press me.”

“Okay, so it’s serious,” Sam interprets. “Got it."

(Or: The one where Sam is Bucky's long-suffering roommate, Bucky is a hot mess of a millennial, and Hot Steve spends far too much time on the Lat Pull-Down machine.)

Love In Aisle Four | 2127 words 🛍️

When Bucky needs to swing by the supermarket after a long, hard day of work, the last thing he expects is to meet a cute grocery clerk named Steve…

Coming Up Easy | 45515 words ✍🏻

“Listen, I was just thinking,” Steve says, his face open, eyebrows raised in a tentatively hopeful expression. “Why don’t you come stay at my place for a while? I’ve got an office that I barely use, and a change of scenery might do you good, right? Help you beat that writer’s block?” With a crooked smile, he adds, “I promise I’m not a serial killer.”

While Bucky would normally crack a joke about how that’s exactly what a serial killer would say, right now, all he can do is blink at Steve in surprise, heart tripping over itself in his chest. Steve wants him to come and stay at his place. In Massachusetts. Just the two of them.

"Oh," Bucky croaks. "I- Wow."

“I mean, no pressure,” Steve says hastily. “Totally fine if you don’t wanna. I just thought I’d offer, in case it might help, y’know?”

“Yeah.” Bucky ignores the little voice in his head that sounds an awful lot Nat and Becca, telling him he’s setting himself up for heartbreak. “I mean, if you’re sure, that would be amazing.”

Anywhere The Wind Blows | 8845 words 👨‍🚒🎖️

After a catastrophic fire that shakes him to his core, Steve Rogers quits his job as a Brooklyn firefighter and relocates to a cabin in the remote Canadian wilderness, wanting quiet and solitude and to maybe never have to speak to another human being ever again. He gets his wish, more or less, until a recently injured Bucky Barnes is discharged from the Army and rents the cabin next door.

The Safer Course | 7918 words | Part 1 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

When Steve moves to the suburbs in 2033, he intends to retire from superhero life.

He does not intend to fall in love with his pain-in-the-ass neighbor.

Every Year I Have You | 7064 words | Part 2 of Won’t You Be My Neighbor 🏡

Steve set the bar pretty high, as birthday presents go.

Bucky is determined to outdo him when July 4th comes around.

Beneath The Mistletoe | 21203 words 🎄

Bucky had a bet with his sister that if he didn’t have a boyfriend to bring home for Christmas by the time he was 25, he had to give her $200 and go blonde for a year. But now he's 25, it’s nearing December, and not only is Bucky as single as ever, but he’s also running low on cash. He doesn’t exactly want to bleach his hair, either.

At least Steve is willing to upgrade their relationship from best friends to fake boyfriends.

The Settler | 52203 words 🍞

“What do you want to do?”

Steve pauses and looks at them.

What he wants is to stay with them. He doesn't have any family left, they all died before he even joined the war and became... this. Captain America turned whatever he is now. But Natasha and Sam have become his family over the years. Not just because they're on the run together, fugitives and vigilantes, but way before that too.

He doesn't want to leave that.

But he knows that, realistically, he can't stay with them and they can't stay with him.

So he looks at them with a smile and lies. “I don't know.”

OR; In which Steve retires and finally finds a place to call home.

You Can’t Put Your Arms Around A Memory | 1148 words 🐈

"Alright, Bucky," Steve slows his steps, watches his neighbour stop at the bottom of the next flight of stairs. There's a canvas bag in his hand that Steve didn't notice earlier, cream coloured with the figure of a sleeping, black cat painted on it. "Have a good day."

He thinks Bucky's cheeks pink up a bit right then and there, but Steve can't tell. He's too distracted by his pounding, foolish heart, by the way Bucky smiles bashfully, and ducks his head. The way he seems like he wants to stay.

To Believe In Tomorrow | 3959 words 👨🏻‍🌾

Bucky's mornings at the community garden get a little more interesting when the new guy shows up.

Maybe This Christmas | 24873 words | Part 1 of Maybe ❄️

Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

-----

Hurrying was a bad idea. Bucky’s foot hits a patch of ice and slides out from under him in what would have been a comical cartoon banana-peel-like trip, if it wasn’t happening to him, and he braces himself to hit the ground. This is going to hurt.

“Fuck,” Bucky screeches, but as he lands on his back, it’s not the cold hard concrete he expected, but a solid mass beneath him. Oh god, Bucky thinks as he realises he smacked into the person behind him and took them down with him.

Maybe This Year (Will Be Better Than Last) | 133868 words | Part 2 of Maybe ❄️

Last year, Bucky Barnes met Steve Rogers. Well actually, he slipped and fell on him. What followed was the best Christmas either of them had ever had. But what happens when Christmas is over and life returns to normal? What happens after the Christmas miracle?

-----

Bucky should have known. He did know. When things seem too good to be true, they usually are. And Steve is the best thing that has happened to him in a long time, possibly ever, so of course it couldn’t last.

Maybe This Time (I Hope I Get The Chance To Say Goodbye) | 34561 words | Part 3 of Maybe ❄️

Steve and Bucky Barnes are happily married. They've made it through some hard times and come out stronger and happier, together. Then Steve gets called on to come out of retirement for the most important mission of his life and everything changes. Everything.

-----

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas…” Steve starts singing along softly, and Bucky chuckles, before leaning his head onto Steve’s shoulder, always happy when he’s in Steve’s arms.

“From now on, our troubles will be miles away…” Bucky joins in.

Dancing round their living room, just as in love as ever, their troubles seem light-years away, if not non-existent.

Sadly, they’re closer than they think.

The Unexpected Gift | 9504 words | Part 1 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Steve Rogers is fine.

After ending a long-term relationship with Sam Wilson, Steve moves back to New York. He's tired and lonely but depressed? No. At least, that's what he thinks.

From the window of his apartment, he watches a dark-haired man and his service dog sitting in the park, wondering what his story is.

The Winter Storm | 2218 words | Part 2 of When Winter Comes 🐕

"If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability you see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me."

After Bucky and Steve confessed their feelings for each other, life has its own twisted way to challenge the most profound love.

One January Night | 4213 words | Part 3 of When Winter Comes 🐕

Before going back to work, Steve Rogers still has things to learn: 1- Depression is a bitch and the battle against it isn't an easy one. 2- Dating a person with disabilities comes with its share of challenges.

Bucky Barnes Has His Shit Together (And Other Lies He Tells Himself) | 14159 words 🔒

You’d think a guy who owns one of the most successful bakeries in Brooklyn, has a million-dollar smile and that antiquated good ol’ boy charm, blond hair and blue eyes and biceps for days, would know what’s what.

But don’t let that fool you: Steve Rogers is a mess.

Obvious | 917 words ☕

"Oh, I have a prompt! So, it makes me laugh how painfully obvious Steve and Bucky's feelings are to everyone when they're in that pining, slowburn, does-he-doesn't-he phase. But imagine Steve and Bucky working in a coffee shop together and constantly bickering, nudging and playfully flirting with each other. And all the employees and patrons are so invested in their relationship and just want them to kiss already but no one realizes that Steve and Bucky have been married since they got out of HS."

#stucky #steve rogers/bucky barnes #bucky barnes/steve rogers #stucky fics #stucky fic #stucky fic rec #stucky fic recs #stucky fics rec #stucky fics recs #stucky fan fiction #stucky fiction #stucky ao3 #stucky complete #stucky au #adorable stucky fics

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noxiousaffection · 3 years ago

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dol school love interests + wren and alex and what i think their favorite childhood series would have been

Robin: Magic Tree House

A Series of Unfortunate Events was a good contender, but it just hit too close to home. Don’t get them wrong, the books were good, but if they wanted to read about a miserable orphan coping with a shitty caretaker, they’d just write an autobiography.

Thoroughly read through every single book in the series, not just once or twice, but eight times. They could probably recite whole passages from memory. Orphans, especially under Bailey’s care, aren’t afforded entertainment, thus find ways to dissociate from their miserable existence busy their minds. Robin would have lost it years ago without these books.

It was pure chance that they discovered this particular series. Specifically, they selected a book at random from their middle school library, which also just so happensd to be the first of the series.

Whitney: Harry Potter

Now this may come to as a surprise, but Whitney is a diehard Harry Potter fan. I can feel it in my bones. However, let’s make one thing clear, this is not, nor will ever be, common knowledge. Even juvenile Whitney had a reputation to uphold, even if that reputation was just of him being an insufferable, half-pint delinquent.

Owns an abundance of merch, none of which they openly display. As if they’re into that bippity boppity boo bullshit, they’re not a nerd. Shut up before they make you. Now, if you were to somehow find your way into their closet, you may that it stores anything but clothes.

Vehemently loathes the golden trio, Harry Potter himself more specifically. Any clown foolish enough to express fondness for that assfuck orphan, his brain dead dog, and the know-it-all bitch within Whitney’s ear shot shall find themself befallen a great travesty.

Kylar: Warrior Cats

Talk about a fanatic; this is no mere phase, it’s a life long commitment. When you enter a relationship with Kylar, you also enter a non-negotiable relationship with their precious books. Has been attached to this series since primary school and will continue to be for the foreseeable future.

Randomly makes various cat noises. (i.e. hisses at people who get too close to you, meows for your attention, purrs when you give them affection, etc.) Do it back. Seriously, do it. Instantly turns them on.

Unironically calls you their mate.

Please roleplay with them. Please.

Somehow always got a hold of every book before release. Their parents aren’t afraid to abuse their power for their precious baby.

Has not and will not ever read a single page of Erin Hunter’s spin-off series Survivor. Canines are the enemy; they’re no traitor.

Sydney: Dear America

Honestly, I remember very little about these books, but if what little memory remains stand to be true, then I just know little Sydney was obsessed. Outside of the temple, their passion for these historical works of fiction remains unparalleled even to this day.

For as long as they’ve been a library assistant, the series never seems to be available to be checked out. Sydney denies all allegations.

Owns a hardback copy of every single book, spin-offs included.

Wren: Goosebumps

In truth, Wren isn’t much of a reader (never having finished even a single book outside of school), but these books hold a special place in their heart.

Each book is the perfect length for this young smuggler’s near nonexistent attention span; a reliable source for those short bursts of dopamine they crave.

It’s not that they don’t like reading, per say, just that they’re dyslexic. Reading becomes a chore when you’re chasing words down on a page.

Their favorite books of all time would have to be Go Eat Worms and The Egg Monster From Mars. I have no good explanations for these, just vibes and a dash of projection.

Alex: Captain Underpants

I’m not quite sure how they first got a hold of the series, but they were hooked almost instantaneously. Their parents were more than happy to fund their latest fascination.

They hate reading, but they can get behind comics. They much prefer pictures to words and comics are chock-full of pictures.

If given the chance, I imagine they would have enjoyed Diary of A Wimpy Kid just as much.

Nowadays, the only thing Alex reads is the shampoo bottle label when they’re taking a shit.

#dol #degrees of lewdity #robin the orphan #whitney the bully #kylar the loner #sydney the faithful #wren the smuggler #alex the farmhand #school love interests #headcanons #writing is hard #:sob:#just.nox

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harryhandstan · 4 years ago

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wonderful and warm

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I’m so excited to share this piece with y’all for @tbslenthusiast‘s dad-a-thon!! I’ve been debating whether or not to expand more on I Want Your Belly for a while now, so I’m considering this part two to that, though you don’t really have to read it first to understand this one. Hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!

thank you @peachybloomss and @tbslenthusiast for beta reading for me! love y’all both!!

word count: 2.6k

You had been adamant about not telling anybody for at least the first two months.

Your mom’s complications with each of her pregnancies prompted a fear in you that you might share in that gene she carried, so you just wanted to be sure. Make it to your first ultrasound at least to confirm the baby was happy and healthy. Harry, of course, had agreed to whatever it was you felt was best. He wanted you to be comfortable and truth is, all the complications or things that could go wrong, terrified him too.

But the second you put this man in front of a crowd, all his previous filters go out the window and it was slipping from his lips easily, telling the world that you were having his baby. You were angry at first, spending half of the show trying to calm your shaky hands. Honestly, most of it was just nervous energy at the idea of so many people knowing. It was out, and you had no control over the reactions of the millions of people that shared in loving your Harry. He was quick to remind you that you were the one he loved, no one else’s opinion mattered to him and it shouldn’t to you either.

Making such a public announcement meant the news reached your families ears a lot faster than you’d planned too, and you just didn’t want any of them to be hurt that they weren’t told first.

Anne is the first one to contact Harry from his side, promptly inviting you to dinner the following weekend with a small group of Harry’s family. But the closer you get to the day, the more anxious you are and he once again reminds you how much his family adores you already, would now love you even more.

“Even more than they love me now, probably,” He chuckles, taking your hand on the drive to his mother’s house, “Gonna be just like any Sunday dinner at Mum’s, innit? We just have something a little extra special t’celebrate now, lovie.”

Gemma answers the door to let the two of you in and she tugs you in for a hug, pulling you into the house without so much as a glance to her younger brother.

“Nice to see you too, Gem.” He follows the two of you inside, shutting the door behind him.

“Ignore him..someone’s just jealous they won’t be Mum’s favorite anymore.” She giggles, rolling her eyes as she leads you into the kitchen where Anne mimics her daughter’s greeting, scolding Harry playfully that he spoiled the surprise so soon.

By the end of the night, the two of them are already making predictions about what the baby will be, giving family name suggestions, and planning a baby shower for you.

Calling your family was a whole new level of anxiety you hadn’t experienced yet on this journey, and you paced back and forth in front of the desk where your iPad was already set up to FaceTime them. Harry sits on the foot of the bed, waiting for your nerves to settle enough to contact them.

“D’you want me to join you?” He doesn’t look at you, just continues to fiddle with one of the buttons on his shirt.

Your head pops up to where he sits, “Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?”

He shrugs, “S’just..sometimes I think you might still be a bit mad at me. For letting it slip earlier than we wanted. Thought you might wanna talk to them alone first..in case they’re upset with me too.”

“I was never really mad. And I don’t think they’ll be upset..just may take them a little longer to accept that I didn’t tell them before you told everyone. They may not have even seen it yet.”

That was a lie. Your sister had texted you last night saying that she was thrilled to soon have a niece or nephew, but your mom had cried for a two whole days after they saw a clip from the show and your dad refused to even talk about it. Your brother was normally so far out of the loop that you truly didn’t know if he had heard the news, so you make a mental note to call him later too.

You wouldn’t tell Harry any of that though, not now anyway. Maybe later, when everything didn’t feel so tense. You knew your family wouldn’t be upset forever, they loved Harry almost as much as you did. The joy of having a new baby added to the family would soon override any hurt they were feeling now.

“Harry, whatever they say..this is still happening. I’m still having your baby. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that makes me.”

The smile he gives you makes your heart flutter, drawing you closer to sit next to him.

“Say that again.”

“What? How happy I am..”

“No, the part before that.”

A giggle works its way up through your chest, a deep blush flushing your cheeks, “I’m having your baby,” You can’t resist, the tune now stuck in your head, changing the lyric slightly to fit, “It’s none of their business.”

“What? S’your family, of course it’s their..oh, right.” He shares in your laughter, melting away any tension that had settled in the room, restoring your confidence that everything would be alright.

As many changes as your body had gone through during pregnancy, one thing that hadn’t changed was Harry’s love for your belly. His obsession had grown with each month, constantly finding reasons to be close to you throughout your days spent together. Usually it was a hand nudged gently against the side of your bump, trying to coax the baby to kick or move for him.

Your child already adored the sound of their dad’s voice, would normally start to wiggle around the second Harry would start talking or singing anywhere around you. The first time it happened, the two of you were attending a birthday party for a friend and Harry was halfway across the room, animatedly telling a story to a group of your mutual friends. It was one of the many reasons you had fallen for him so quickly, his ability to have a room full of people so captivated by a tale you were sure they had heard at least 5 times before.

But he doesn’t seem to care about anyone else’s reactions, his eyes continuously flicking back to gauge your feedback, knowing which parts make you laugh the hardest no matter how many times you’d listened to him tell it. When your mouth falls open with a soft gasp and a hand clutching the side of your belly, he hurries through the ending to weave his way back through the party to you.

“You okay, love? Somethin’ wrong?” The tears falling on your dress don’t match the glowing smile radiating across your face and he’s turning his head amusingly from where he hovers over you.

“Everything’s great, H. Think someone just loves the sound of daddy’s voice.” You take the drink he still holds in his hand and set it on the table in front of you, turning your body to face him and tugging his wrist down to where you had felt the kick moments before, “Say something else now that you’re closer. See if she moves for you.”

“She? You find out somethin’ you wanna tell me, darlin’?”

“No, just a feeling. Haven’t you thought about which you would rather us have?”

He shakes his head no, his eyes bright with a pride you’ve never seen burn so intensely, “As long as you and they end up happy and healthy in the end, s’all that matters to me.”

He scoots his body to sit on the bench next to you, bending his head to speak softly, “Hello, little one. S’daddy. Mummy’s here too. Wanna move around a bit more f’us?”

He rests his head there for a moment, a hand rubbing along the side of your stomach, not caring who at the party may see the two of you or how silly he may look. He looks like a child who’s just been granted his one and only wish when your baby responds, a foot landing against where his cheek is pressed.

“There you are, baby. You kickin’ at me? Cheeky little thing y’are already..just like mummy, huh?” He turns to kiss the spot where the foot had been, ”We’re g’nna have so much fun when you get here, angel.”

Harry watches your feet a lot more closely these days.

You didn't notice it at first. But today as you're coming down the stairs, you catch his eyes watching carefully as he waits for you. One of your hands cradles your bump that seems to be growing daily now, while the other glides along the railing to keep yourself steady.

"Am I wearing mismatched shoes or something?" You lean forward in an attempt to look at your feet over your belly, nearly toppling down the last few stairs. The look on Harry's face would have been comical if it wasn't laced with so much fear as he lunged forward to meet you and help you the rest of the way down.

"Careful!" Even with you settled safely now against his side, his voice is full of worry, "Nothing's wrong with your shoes, honey. Just wanted to make sure you made it down safely, know how clumsy y'are."

"You worry too much, Harry. I would've made it down fine if you hadn't been staring at my feet."

"My girl's carrying my baby..m’allowed to worry about you both. Y'sure I can't convince you to stay home and let me do the grocery shopping this week?"

"No, I wanna go. Last time you forgot the bagels."

"Are you ever gonna forgive me for that?" You're glad to see the fear has fallen away from his face as you both reach the bottom of the stairs together.

"Maybe." You shrug, "Might take a few more kisses though."

"Deal." One of his hands comes to rest warmly on the underside of your belly, the other one still supporting the small of your back as he bends down to place kisses across your face.

A kick from within your stomach has both of you giggling and looking down to where it's pressed between the two of you.

"Are you mad at daddy too, hmm? Already two against one around here, I see. Alright then, baby gets kisses too."

“Harry will you please get up? We only have an hour to get ready and make it to the appointment. I don’t wanna be late!”

He rolls over, intending to pull you closer to him for a morning kiss, an important part of his usual routine. He frowns when he finds you’re already out of bed, digging through drawers of your dresser to find what you need to get ready for the day.

You haven’t noticed he’s awake yet so you keep encouraging him, “C’mon, made you breakfast. It’s an important day!”

“You’re not allowed to do that, y’know.”

“Do what?” You’re only half paying attention, tugging a dress over your head and scowling at your reflection in the full length mirror when it doesn’t fit over your belly. You quickly pull it back off and toss it in the pile you’ve already tried (and failed) to stretch over your growing bump.

“Daddy’s s’posed to make breakfast for mummy while she sleeps in, not the other way ‘round.”

“Well, mommy was too nervous to sleep in so she’s up getting ready, as daddy should be!” You tug one of your maternity shirts from a hanger in your closet and throw it over your head, declaring to yourself that it’ll just have to do. Thankfully it pairs well with the black leggings you’ve already struggled through pulling on. You plop on the edge of the bed, a deep sigh falling from your lips as you look around at the mess you’ve made of your shared bedroom.

“Mummy needs to relax. She looks beautiful in whatever she wears, no matter what day it is.” He rubs a hand along your back, up to soothe over the pinch between your shoulder blades.

“Nothing fits anymore, swear this belly gets bigger by the day. If I find out today you put a set of twins in me, Styles, you are gonna be in so much trouble.”

He throws his head back, a deep rumbling laugh erupting from his chest, “Aww c’mon, lovie. Twins would be so fun! Think we’d get lucky and have one of each? A boy and a girl?” He kisses your shoulder.

He’s pulling you in to rest against his chest now, the fabric of his well worn t-shirt cool and soft on your cheek. He wraps his arms around your shoulders, pressing a kiss firmly to the top of your head.

“Just lay with me a minute, hmm? Did you get any sleep last night? Felt you tossing and turning for half of it.”

“Maybe a couple of hours. I was too nervous.”

“You should’ve woken me. Hate the idea of you being awake and nervous alone, honey.” One hand trails up to cup your chin, a thumb smoothing over the tension set in your jaw.

“I honestly don’t know how you got any sleep. I wasn’t alone though, I think I kept the baby up half the night too.” You shift to face him, resting your chin on his chest, seeking the comfort of his face, “Are you okay? You’re not nervous at all?”

“M’fine. What’s to be nervous about? We get to see our baby today, find out what it is. I couldn’t be happier about that.” He brushes a strand of hair softly away from your face, tucking it behind your ear.

“Maybe it’s more excitement than nerves. I just felt..restless. Maybe it’s silly, but I just wanted to look nice today too and none of my good clothes fit me anymore.”

“You’ve always been beautiful to me, baby. But now? I’ve never seen anyone look as gorgeous as you look now. S’important to me that you know and believe that as much as I do. I’ll remind you everyday if y’need me to.”

“You really mean that, Harry?”

“‘Course I do. I know this has been new and scary for both of us, and I’m so proud of you. You’ve fallen into this with such ease and grace, already started gettin’ our home ready for our little one. I can’t wait to see you with them when they’re born.”

“You’re gonna be the most amazing dad. Teaching our child kindness and love, reminding them it’s okay to be whatever they choose to be. It’s important to me that you know how much I adore you and seeing you become the dad you were meant to be? It’s gonna be incredible. I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.”

“Me either. Think I’d be miserable if it were anyone else.”

“Nah you’d get used to them eventually. Especially if they were having your baby.”

He laughs again, pulling you closer to smush his lips against your temple.

“Alright, up we get,” He scoots away to push himself up and off the bed, offering you his hands to help pull yourself up, “Let’s go see if our little bub got blessed with your nose or cursed with mine.”

You’re over the moon every time you see Harry’s beaming smile when he passes the black and white sonogram photo now proudly displayed on the refrigerator; your son’s nose a perfect mixture of yours and Harry’s.

#dadathon #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #my writing #dad!harry

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hazard-and-friends · 3 years ago

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it’s been a wild year.

a year ago, Hazard was 24 hours into his strict crate rest for heartworm treatment. he was completely zonked out but, three days later, was fed up with this lack of walks thing.

not-quite-a-year-ago (July 23rd), Jo and Penny moved in, and it was okay for a week, but then Penny got bored, left the kitchen cabinets, crossed the room on her own, and sent Hazard into a 4 hour meltdown that I could not cajole him out of. that night, I sobbed on Jo, trying to figure out if Hazard would ever be safe with Penny, let alone manage to survive the next two months.

I don’t want to understate how serious the situation was. when I posted, honestly and openly, in an aggressive dogs FB group, the prevailing advice was to return him sooner rather than later and that our odds of success were 50/50 at best. that one mistake would mean Penny’s death. Hazard’s behavior towards her was intense and enduring. he wanted, with 100% of his being, to charge towards her as fast as he could. none of us knew what would happen after that.

furthermore, heartworm treatment can be deadly. as the worms die, they are swept out of the heart. if the dog gets too agitated, the worm corpses can clog blood vessels and cause a blood clot. in particularly dire cases, this can lead to a heart attack or stroke.

we couldn’t give up though. I roped in a classmate who specializes in cat behavior for help with Penny’s side. we divided our 450 sq ft studio in half with baby gates--for 5 months. I spent hundreds on pheromone diffusers for both species, not to mention OTC calming supplements and 3 different prescriptions for Hazard. we set Hazard up for success as best we could. Jo spent evening after evening sitting on the floor in the kitchen so Penny wouldn’t come looking for her. I stopped feeding Hazard from a bowl entirely so that he would work for every bit of food and therefore, hopefully, have less energy for cat-chasing.

we put a towel over the gates to block view. (briefly there was a whole sheet pinned over the kitchen entry, but that failed almost immediately.) then we moved the gates around and fenced off the bedroom area. we spent more money on cat scratchers and toys. and even more money on dog puzzle feeders. I read everything on the internet about dog-cat socialization and began designing my own plan.

I trained Hazard at every opportunity. attention and engagement when Penny was being boring, but when she was being active, I turned to straight counterconditioning and eventually, a LAT style game where cat activity was the cue to look at me and receive a treat. we had several nights where the gates were opened and Hazard brought in, on leash and muzzled, for face-to-face practice.

at the end of September we had two breakthroughs: Hazard finished his heartworm treatment and I could start wearing him out properly (and did!), and he cornered a possum. on evening walks I liked to take him out on a long-line so he could direct the walk and do more sniffing. that evening, he turned a corner ahead of us and took off. I didn’t have a good grip on the lead and let go to avoid rope burn. he had found, pursued, and cornered a possum, who was pissed. he had every opportunity to bite. he did not. after a brief standoff, what he did do was playbow at the possum (who wasn’t interested), and then bark in frustration.

and so we had the answer we could never have otherwise known: Hazard has zero interest in killing. he has extreme interest in chasing, and so I describe him as high prey-drive, but it’s a very particular sort of prey drive.

this didn’t make him safe with Penny (chasing is still extremely stressful and potentially dangerous for both of them!) but it dramatically reduced the danger--and our stress levels.

that was September. in December we moved the gates to block Hazard from getting under the bed, so Penny had a safe place. shortly before moving at the end of January, we took the gates down entirely. post move, we spent a couple days blocking doorways with suitcases just to slow him down some. (thrilled to otherwise report that we have added 100 sq ft and an entire room to our lives.)

he still chases if she moves fast, but it’s less and less, and shorter and shorter. she did have to nail him a couple times, including once scratching his eye. I don’t take these lightly, but it’s been months since he really upset her, and equally long since she hurt him. (she will get mad and bite his skin, but he has so much skin. he doesn’t care.)

and then, in the last couple weeks, Penny has decided She Likes Dog Beds, Actually. which is fine, but then, so does Hazard. this photo isn’t entirely un-staged, I did encourage Hazard to lay down on the bed, but they’re both relaxed. they’re touching. Penny is purring. tonight Penny got so happy from her impromptu brushing that she flopped over and wiggled around on her back, right over Hazard’s feet. he couldn’t care less.

I’m crying. they’ve come so far.

#hazard to society #nepenthe #dogblr #catblr #and a sincere thanks to everyone who helped even (especially) when it was telling me what i didn't want to har #*hear

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maple-syrup-goblin · 4 years ago

Text

@tarly-the-bitch

(some of you might like the tags up here, sorry

suicide, gore, depression, murder, ect)

Imagine:

You just broke up with your s/o, your heart is in shambles. Just to wake up, you need to lift the weights of your sorrows, regrets, and the deep gap within your soul.

It's a normal, terrible day. The sky is gray, it's been that way ever since they left you. Despite your unwillingness, the drive for food forces your body through your house, out of the door, and to your bike.

You mindlessly ride to a store. Any store will do. As you look to the sky and realize it's getting dark, and you are slpashed with shock when you notice that you've arrived in the next city over.

You push on as the pit in your stomach grows as deep as the pit in your heart. Your eyes fly to a bright sign of a small grocery store on the outskirts of the city. You place your bike on the outside of the shop and enter warily.

You grab whatever your hand seems to be attracted to. You end up grabbing a load of junk with dull, meaningless lables. As you near the counter you peer down to a worried face.

"Um, sir? You don't look too well." her wide eyes stare at you as she says faintly.

"I just biked from the small town over, I'm just tired." you reply, dead as ever.

"Really? That's a long way. If you need a place to stay, I could let you rest at my home." she suggests.

"Ah, thank you very much." you muster a weak sign of gratitude.

"My shift ends soon so, you shouldn't have to wait long!" she states excitedly.

You finish paying and wait on the bench outside. Filling your stomach with some of the garbage you bought, your head becomes a little less foggy. As you wait, the sun sets and your grow cold. Just as you huddle, the girl bursts out like a little bundle of energy.

"Whew! I can't wait to get home!" she exclaims with a wide smile. Just then, in that moment, you see her with clear vision. Her cute sweater, short hair, and smooth skin. Just that sight brings you more joy than you've felt in the past month. You can't help but smile at the sight.

"My car is this way," she states, "but we'll have to leave your bike here for the night. My car is too tiny to fit your bike."

"Oh! That's alright. I'll get it tomorrow." you reply.

As you walk toward her car, she glances at you and questions, "So, what's your name?"

"Oh, I'm y/n. What's yours?" you ask.

"You didn't catch it on my name tag?" she quips with a smirk. Although you feel like that was ment to poke fun at you, a you can feel is joy. "It's Ambrosia, you can call me Am though." she explaines.

You ride in her car for a short while before arriving at a cute house, completely dark from inside to out. The tiny home is beautiful even if you can't see it well in the starlight. As you walk in the door, she turns on the lights to reveal a neat and comfy place of living.

"Sorry, it's a little small. But now that we're here, would you like something to eat?" she asks kindly. Although you ate before you got here, you haven't had any good food for months and you crave to know what her cooking tastes like.

"I'd love something to eat, what do you have?" you speak joyfully.

"Oh it's not that simple! I'll make us a surprise!" she plays. Her positive attitude leaves you trembling with happiness. As she starts to cook, she demands that you stay out of the kitchen so that it remains a surprise.

You look around her home and see few family photos and many little decorative trinkets. The smell from the kitchen lures you to it as she announces that she's done.

"Allright, let's get to eating!" she announces. "Also, I don't have to work tomorrow so... would you like something to drink?"

It's been a while since you've had a meal this luxurious with a nice drink to go with it. "I'd love to." you respond as she pulls out a full bottle of whiskey.

"I don't do this too often so let's celebrate!" she says as she hold the bottle to the sky. The two of you begin to eat and enjoy your time together. Looking into her eyes feels like standing in a cool summer's breeze. You can imagine the sensation of your hand on her cheek.

You continue to eat and drink as your ability to hold back your feelings becomes frail. The slightest drop of romance could melt you and, she takes notice.

"You know, I'm the only one here. You don't have to hide anything." she states drunkenly. You feel as if your soul has become whole again. You no longer feel pain or sorrow. All you can think about is her adorable lips.

The two of you head toward the living room when suddenly, she stumbles. Falling into you arms, she looks up into your eyes. "You just might have to carry me!" she laughs.

You comply, and pick her up. You feel her squishy thighs in your arms and your hand grabs her chest. Holding her in your arms has put things into perspective. Although she's a tad short, her beauty is unmatched in your heart.

You carry her to her bedroom and set her down. Once she regains her balance, she uses all the force in her body to fling off her clothes. Your drunken mind follows suit and you remove what's keeping her from your body.

The mutual excitement brews a love so stong that it lats for hours. She's lucky she doesn't have to work in the morning.

You grasp her arms and lay her to the bed as you pummel her as hard as you can. Her poor little bead makes cries of help as you recklessly destroy her insides. The absolute bliss you feel is more fulfilling than anything you've ever felt.

She gasps as you continue, she looks beet red with pleasure. You begin to slow so this can last a while longer. You use your hands to toy with ever part of her imaginable. Her squishy breasts, tender thighs, and soft cheeks all run past your grasp.

"Please, please, harder!" she demands, "play with me, play with me! I'll be your toy to make you happy!" she cries with tears of bliss. You continue, harder than you have ever before. You grasp her boobs and fondle them with force.

She lets out one last moan of pleasure and holds you tight. "Thank you." she wispers. Your tiredness catches up to you and you fall asleep with your bodies intertwined.

You've slept better than you ever have before. You wake up to the sight of her soft lips and are instantly filled with the pleasure you felt before. Her small body seems so fragile in your grasp. She's so tender, and vulnerable.

Although you were filled with joy, your heart snaps back to how it was tbe morning prior. You stare at her, blankly. As she awakes, her eyes flutter open and her lips form a smile.

"I love you y/n" she barely musters. As she states this, you realize that she was able to fill you with joy she can do it again. You kiss her passionately and feel between her legs.

Her eyes fill with shock at your sudden movements but she can't say no, you've filled her mouth with her tongue. Her fragile body under your control fills you with the feeling of power. A power you've only felt the day before.

You start to rough her up. Using unnecessary amounts of force. She starts to cry but she wanted to be your toy right? Did she lie to you? Just like you s/o did back then. You can't stand liars. You can't stand her.

You trow her to the ground in a fit of rage, as her cries grow. Noting she says matters now, she'll just leave you like your s/o did. She's just like her, a liar and garbage. You top her and bite her throat with the strength of a lion. You claw at her soft skin and tear her insides up with the most massive rage boner any man could hope to amass.

She can't speak anymore, all you hear is muffled screaming and gurgles. You imagine doing this to your s/o and get up. A job like this requires special tools.

You retrieve a knife from the kitchen, her eyes contort into a deep fear. As you plunge the knife between her breasts. You slice her down to her belly and continue with your hands. You reach inside her and pull everything out. All the love, all the joy, you believe it is yours now.

Her eyes fade and her tears stop flowing. You continue to use her as a toy and fill her with your semen. Since there's no chance of a child, you fill her vagina with your semen in the most satisfying way you could have ever conceived.

You keep her face looking pretty, but with her throat destroyed you decide to ruin it a little more. You flip yourself and shove your dick into her throat however, it quickly reaches where you've crushed it. You press on and slip your cock deeper and experience the tightest grip you'll ever feel.

You assault her lower lips with your raging tongue to get a taste of your prey, your toy, you little meatbag of happiness. Rubbing her ass, you finnish in her adorable little mouth. And find yourself calming.

You cleave her head off to keep it as a physical memory of the last time you'll ever feel joy. You cry as you realize you've ruined your toy. What are you saying? Your toy? You realize that you've become a monster.

She's much more deserving of a life than you ever were. And you took that. You walk out of the house with your hand on her scalp. Or what's left of her you monster. You steal her keys and drive home. You monster.

Every time you look at what's left of her. All you can think is, "you monster" and you are. You are a monster, a horrible human being. If that. Your tears flood your vision. You know you'll never be happy again. You are worthless. But you feel what's left of Am isn't.

You arrive home and place her head on your table. Her lifeless eyes stare at you. You pleasure yourself one last time before ending your life just as you ended hers.

You grab a knife from your kitchen. You place the tip to your chest. You take a deep breath and plunge the blade into your heart. Letting your rage guide your hand. "You monster, you are worth nothing" you repeat in your head, "How can anyone love me now? Why would anyone care? S/o doesn't, Am doesn't, your family doesn't."

When you're done, you look just like her. A pile of blood and meat on the floor. The physical pain amounts to nothing compared to the disappointment you feel in yourself.

You feel warm, your sight glows red even with your eyes closed. Where have you found yourself?

#cursed #story time #imagine

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rengokus-eyeliner · 5 years ago

Text

Moment’s Silence

Modern AU Rengoku Kyoujurou x F!Reader

It’s Kyoujurou’s birthday!! Since this special date also coincides with another big event this year, I had an idea to merge the two. I hope you enjoy!

SFW+NSFW

2.2k words

Tags: Fluff, domestic life, oral sex, overall Very Tender Sex

"Good work today!" You snatch your handbag, greeting Uzui-san on the way out. Glancing at your wristwatch, you quicken your pace a little.

5.48pm…

You have to pick up Rika from daycare, secure a cake and prepare dinner within 2 hours in order for your schedule to work out. If you were lucky, Kyoujurou would be tied up with club activities, giving you an extra 30 minutes…

"Mommy!" You spot the familiar puff of yellow and red making its way to you. Bending over to press a big kiss to her cheek, you haul her into your arms and make a mad dash towards the shopping district.

"Did you prepare what I asked you to?" Rika nods, pointing to her tiny backpack. "Good girl!"

"Mommy, there's a big crowd." She gasps a little, pointing a chubby finger towards the mass of bodies clustered in front of the bakery.

"Tanjiro-kun!" You yell over a couple huddled in front of the bakery's glass display, hoping that he heard you. Within a few seconds, your red-headed student peers out from within the ornate doors and flashes you a smile.

"Sensei! Here's your cake." A neatly wrapped box with a silky red ribbon in a bag is placed into your hands, and he bows. "Thank you very much! Happy m-"

"Thank you, I'll see you in school."

Rika waves to him over your shoulder as you turn on your heel. The sun's setting already, street lights flickering on as you finally make your way back to your apartment.

Heaving a sigh of relief, you jam the elevator button and finally have a moment to take a breath.

"Mommy, I could have walked." Rika frowns, her eyebrows- shaped much like her father's- furrow. You chuckle, nuzzling your daughter's hair.

"It's alright. You're not too heavy, anyway-" Just before the elevator doors can slide close, a hand jams itself into the tiny gap, scaring the life out of you.

"I'm sorry!" To your surprise, Kyoujurou steps in. Your husband stares at you for a few stunned seconds until Rika squirms around with delight.

"Daddy!" You hand her over to Kyoujurou, but not before he's able to lean in for a quick peck on the lips as a greeting.

"Rika! I've missed you~" He blows raspberries into her neck, earning ecstatic giggles that ring through the enclosed space.

"I thought you had club duties?"

"Hm? Oh, I exchanged shifts with Tomioka." He extends an arm to grab the paper bag before halting.

The two of you are holding paper bags, identical paper bags. From the Kamado Family bakery.

"Kyou, did you buy a cake for your own birthday? You should have known I would get one for you!" The lift doors jerk open, and the three of you cross the threshold into your house.

"It's not that, my love…" Kyoujurou murmurs, setting Rika down and ruffling her hair. "Did you forget? It's Mother's Day too."

Oh. Oh. Now that explained the crowd at the bakery today. You sigh, setting down the keys and your handbag.

"Now, I know what you're thinking." Swivelling around, Kyoujurou and Rika are standing side by side with their arms crossed over their chests, mischievous smiles on their faces. As much as the sight sends pangs through your heart, you will not be swayed. "You cannot split one entire cake between two people."

Simultaneously, the both of them groan. You leave them to their machinations to get dinner started.

Cooking in the Rengoku household is a thrill. Over the years, Kyoujurou has managed to participate in the kitchen without causing mass destruction, and sweet little Rika sits on the countertop, cheering the both of you on.

After getting Rika washed up and changed, Kyoujurou peeks over your shoulder while you're peeling the sweet potatoes. Today, you'll be making an indulgent version of Kyou's favourite dish- sweet potato rice.

You allow him to take over chopping them, and you turn your attention to preparing the rest of the ingredients. The two of you work like a well-oiled machine. Once you've sliced the cabbage and scallions, Kyoujurou has the sweet potatoes in the oven. You warm up the leftover white rice from yesterday in the rice cooker, along with the soft-boiled eggs.

"Rika, help me set up the table please?" Kyoujurou handles the plates, and Rika sets the cutlery down. Two blue and red bamboo chopsticks for you and Kyoujurou, with a smaller pair of training chopsticks for herself.

The soft ping of the oven has you up and scooping the rice into bowls, while Kyou retrieves the ingredients from the counter.

"Can I help?" You hand her the furikake shaker, which she accepts with glee, sprinkling the sesame seeds and seaweed over the rice.

You watch, content, as they wolf down the meal, rice grains sticking to their cheeks. Rika definitely took after her father more.

"You may each have one slice, as a treat." You slide the cake from its white box onto the middle of the table, lighting a candle and placing it amidst the dainty curls of white cream. After singing happy birthday and taking an ample number of pictures, the three of you settle into easy conversation over dessert, until Rika sits up, remembering something.

"Happy birthday, Daddy!" She pulls a card from her bag, sliding it across the table towards Kyoujurou. He's beaming, holding the crayon drawing delicately. You giggle when you spot tears in the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill.

"Thank you, Rika!"

"Wait, Mommy, I have something for you."

A pink carnation, layers of petals made of pink, frilly paper and a stem of wire wrapped in green tape. It's a little rough around the edges, but you can tell it was made with love. God, now you feel like a fool for making fun of Kyoujurou's tears.

"C'mon, my girl. Let's wash up the dishes. You'll be on towel duty!" Rika salutes, and they march off to the kitchen.

You resolve to having to change Rika's clothing again, as her father flicks soap bubbles onto her and she retaliates by using a spoon to divert the water from the faucet onto his shirt. Smart girl.

---

An hour of cartoons later, Rika is snoozing on Kyou's lap. You stick Kyoujurou's gift to the fridge with magnets, and place your carnation into a small glass bottle on top of your vanity.

"My daughter is the cutest thing in the entire world." Kyoujurou coos, tucking her under plush covers. As quietly as possible, you close the door behind you.

"Let's go take a shower." Kyoujurou whispers, and you arch an eyebrow.

"What if she wakes up?"

"If she's guaranteed to inherit one thing from me, it would be how I sleep like a log." He chuckles. As if to prove his point, you hear cute little snores from her room. "See?"

Hurrying into the bathroom, you feel like a hormonal teenager all over again. When was the last time the two of you had sex? Kyoujurou is by no means neglectful, but working as a teacher is hard. Pent-up stress and tension has built up in your body, and you're aching for a release.

As Kyoujurou strips, you admire his broad back, well-toned with defined muscle, and the shallow divot that runs down to his tailbone. Warmth worms your way into your core, awakening a tingle within you.

He must have felt the weight of your gaze on him, as he turns around and spots you staring. He huffs and grins, the barest hint of a blush blooming on his cheeks.

Your shower is barely large enough to accommodate two, but thankfully, Kyoujurou enjoys the same temperature as you. The hot water beats down on your back, and you can’t help but moan as the heat works its way into your aching muscles.

“Massage my back?” Kyoujurou asks, turning to the showerhead to rinse the soap from his hair. You gladly do so, running your hands up his slippery skin, feeling a shiver roll down his spine. Digging your thumbs into the base of his neck and rubbing circles until you feel the tension dissipate from his shoulders allows you to marvel at his physique. Every shift of his body grants you a ripple of tough muscle to gawk at. After taking your time on his lats, you slide your hands lower. Just the slightest pressure from your fingers makes Kyoujurou arch his back. He hums, turning to capture your lips in a deep kiss.

“Thank you, my love.” His eyes have a hint of hunger in them, and you can feel heat that isn’t from the steam rising in your body. One of his hands comb back the hair from your face, while the other skims down to knead the flesh on your rear. The slightest brush of his body against yours hardens your nipples, and you gasp when he brushes a thumb across one of them.

“Let me return the favour.” Kyoujurou lifts you onto the bathroom counter, the cool marble a deep contrast to your hot skin. Slowly, he kisses the sweet spots he knows so well on your neck, playing with your chest until you begin to heave in anticipation. You feel light-headed, in the consuming embrace of your husband, content to stay that way until the ache in your pussy grows too strong to be left unattended. His wandering hands clutch the soft curves of your hips.

“You’re gorgeous, beautiful, stunning.” He kneels on the floor, lifting your legs over his shoulders and leaving red spots as he sucks and bites down to the growing wetness between them. Two fingers come to coax your slick from between your folds, Kyoujurou admires the glisten of your swollen cunt before he finally flicks his tongue out to toy with your clit. The pleasure halts your breath, and you savour the sensations of his hot breath and tongue, building and building. You can’t help but run a hand through his wet hair, rake your fingers across his scalp which earns you an eager groan.

Kyou pulls back with a gasp, licking the remainder of your wetness from his lips. He helps you down from the counter and wraps you with a towel, ushering you out of the bathroom and into your bedroom.

“Sit back.” You crawl onto the bed and push him down into the soft pillows. His beautiful cock bobs between his legs, twitching when you lick down his shaft. You spit onto his head, a hand spreading your saliva down until it drips onto his heavy balls. With slow, deliberate strokes, you suck his balls, keening under the low moans and sighs of your lover. Kyoujurou’s hard cock in your gentle grip, the heady scent of his precum… It feels so good to have him all to yourself for once, to have him be pleasured by your touch, straining to hold himself back from thrusting his hips upward. With a hand still on his length, you take the tip of his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue as you inch your way down his thickness.

“Wait- ah, fuck!” Kyou whines, digging his fingers into your shoulder. “Feels...too good.”

You lean back, a thin string of spit between your lips and his cock beading onto the bedding. Kyoujurou lies on his side behind you, holding your thigh up with one arm and propping himself up with the other. He drags his length between your slippery folds before positioning at your entrance. Easing himself in, you feel him shudder and grunt. Every inch sliding in, warming you up from the inside, filling you. Gentle until he bumps against your cervix, fully sheathed within you.

“Love, you feel so good…”

“Kyou…” You whimper, clenching around the ample size of his meaty cock. “Please?”

Gingerly, he thrusts his hips upwards, at an angle such that his full length rubs against your g-spot, again when he pulls back. You busy yourself with fingering your clit. The pressure builds back up again, growing, growing. Your moans are breathy, mingling with gasps of his name. Kyoujurou licks the shell of your ear, nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. It’s gentle, needy.

“I’m...gonna…” You stutter, and Kyoujurou goes the slightest bit faster, pressing into you enough to tip you over the edge. He continues through your climax, until you’re left a trembling mess in his arms. With ease, he flips you over onto your back and slides himself in again. He kisses you, tongue and warm breath consuming you entirely, muffling both of your moans of pleasure.

Gradually picking up pace, you encourage him by holding him closer, wrapping your weak legs around his torso. Whispers of your name, so tender from his mouth, spoken like a prayer into your ear. The room’s filled with noise from just the two of you- the rhythmic, wet noise of your sex mixed in with moans and sighs.

“Inside, please.” Kyoujurou’s breath ghosts over your collarbone, the steady pace of his hips meeting yours growing more erratic, desperate. With a stutter of his hips, he finishes, resting against you for a few silent moments like a blanket.

“Thank you, my love.” Kyoujurou spoons you again, stroking the silhouette of your body. “Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you so, so much for granting me this happiness.”

“It’s not Mother’s Day anymore, Kyou. But happy belated birthday, love.” You giggle, planting a tender kiss on his lips. “It’s 12.04am.”

#rengoku kyoujurou #rengoku kyojurou #kyoujurou rengoku #rengoku kyoujurou x reader #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer x reader #kny fluff #kny smut

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zuffer-weird-girl · 5 years ago

Text

"Is the third time only this month that brat does this..." has growled before placing Kin back on her crib after Kaito tried again to sending her away.

This time the brat just got out of the street and dared to stop a officer on the street, lifting his sister in his arms and with a stoic face ask if they wanted a baby.

You let out a hopeless sigh before shaking a bit the crib, smilling in relief at seing that your baby girl, different from Kaito, was the most quiet and easy to sleep baby you ever saw.

"Just give him a bit more time Kai, I'm sure he is going to get used to her soon... I hope."

He looked at you dead in the eyes, arching on eyebrow up.

"Angel. Kin has eight months already. Eight months." He pointed at outside of the room "And the rascal still tried to send her away."

You made a worried face, letting go of the crib when you noticed that Kin had fell asleep.

"... apologies." He latted yoir head gently "Maybe I was too-"

"No no. Relax." You giggled, adoring the way his hand felt on your head "I guess is just going to take a bit longer for Kaito to get used to his sister then..."

"It better be quick. I'm tired of explaining my self to mails and police this whole thing."

He arched one eyebrow at the numb and glommy look his son carried while he poked with his eating uttensiles the food in front of him.

Ever since his last attempt of getting rid of Kin he is been like this, and he was starting to grow afraid that his brat had gotten ill.

You walked in with a giggling Kin in your arms, cooing while holding your cheeks together, making you look like a fish, while you made goofy faces at her.

The tight grip Kaito had on his hashi wasn't unnoticed by Kai.

"Hey daddy?" You called, breaking his attention to look up at you two "Kin wants to see your beautiful face~"

He scoffed at that, rolling his eyes but still lowering his mask and looking at Kin dead in the eye. The girl cooed and clapped her tiny chubby hands while her golden eyes shined in glee at seing her daddy's face.

"Such a simple and dumb action that can caught her interest like that?" He muttered before bringing it up his mask.

Kaito suddenly scoffed and got out from the table, leaving everthing he was suppose to eat behind. Making you and kai exchange glances before he got up and called his son sternly.

"Chisaki Kaito come back here this instant."

"I'm not hungry." The kid mumbled, still walking.

"Kaito." Kai growled threateningly, ignoring your hand on his shoulder and words for him to calm down "Get back here. Right now."

The kid stopped, tiny hands turned into shaking fists as he muttered some words neither you or Kai could catch.

"What?" Kai said coldly before Kaito sended one teary yet angry look at his father.

"You two have her so why should I stay in the first place?" He said monotonously before running to his room, hitting the door slightly.

"Of course..." you sighed, Kin made a confused and sad noise at your face while Kai just stayed intact. "I should have know." Kai looked at you with one eyebrow lifted up.

"Hon he is jealous of Kin." You said quickly before he scoffed, already walking towards his son's room. "Kai c'mon don't start another argument.."

"I'm not. But I thought I raised this brat better than this." He scoffed before wrapping his hand on the door handle, noticing that his son had locked it.

"Kaito stop with this and open the door." He growled, receiving a faint 'go away' from teh other side "Get out of there or I will break this door open."

He felt you poking his shoulder and sended you a glare.

"I might be wrong but-" you said in oure sarcasm "This is not the exactly BEST way of getting into a upset child's room." He deadpanned when his daughter made what sounded like a agreement sound.

"Well." He showed his palm at the door "Be my guest then dearest."

You arched a eyebrow at him before handing Kin to him. Not noticing how he got tense and averted his eyes from his daughter a bit...

"Sweety?" You knocked the door "Please let us in?"

"No." Thsi one was more soft than the others and your heart break at the sniffle you heard.

"Kaito, if something is wrong then we need to talk to sorta things out. Please open the door for me and daddy?"

"...I don't want to talk."

You sighed, ignoring the smug look Chisaki sended to you before an idea popped into your head.

"So you're just going to stay there until when?"

"Until... until..." you wanted to break that door the moment you heard a weak sob from the other side.

"My soldier. Me and daddy only want to help." Chisaki made a confused noise before you shushed him "But you know that he can overhaul this door... so please just open honey? For me and him?"

You sighed in relief when you heard the click sound while Chisaki handed Kin back to you immediately. Pushing the door open you saw Kaito sitting on his bed as he rubbed his face with his forearm, parted legs as his hand fisted the material of his pants.

"So?" Chisaki crossed his arms, looking down at his son with his stoic face "Explain-"

"Is about Kin. We know." You interrupted, your husband glaring at you for that "But what exactly is bothering you sweety?"

"Her." He whispered "One more it means less, and you and daddy just stop everthing you do to go to her and see what she wants." He sniffled.

"Because she is a infant." Chisaki interrupted "On her stature and age is necessary." He said in a manner of fact tone.

Kaito suddenly sobbed a bit more loud, now with both hands fisting the sheets of his bed.

"Kaito." You cooed while sitting next to him, a firm grip on your daughter but still went to trade your fingers through his hair.

"Neither of you will care about me anymore! You don't do now do you?!" Kaito sobbed harshly, but still not dodging away from your touch.

"... for crying out loud." Your husband growled, and even before you could send a glare he took a sit on the other side of his son and took your hand out of his head to just drop quite harshly his own, making the kid yelp even.

Kaito glared at his father, teeth cringing together but the river of tears didn't stopped either as Kai only stared numbly down.

"Your sister needs the special treatment because she is way younger than you." He pointed with his palm at Kin fisting the hem of your shirt. "She struggles with saying simple words and even walk. So that's why me and your mother stay more allert with her."

Kaito scoffed, looking down with a frown before your gentle hand lifted a bit his chin up to look at you.

"That doesn't mean neither of us love more or less one than the other honey." You rubbed your thumb on his chin while Kai started to carres his son's hair. "Never we would do that. The same Kin is receiving now, you once received as a baby."

"... but.." his eyes came back to being the usual stoic ones while he pouted a bit with furrowed eyebrows.

"Brat. The same we feel about Kin we do about you. No questions or objections." He messed with Kaito's hair a bit before retreading his hand back "Both are brats. But our brats."

"I never heard you calling her like that." Kaito said suddenly while Kai arched a eyebrow and you let out a disbelieved giggle.

"You're serious? Daddy is always calling both you and Kin brats. No matter what I do!"

"That so..." Kaito mumbled, looking down at the ground.

"... Kin, you and your mother are simply the only ever people that brought me such a thing called joy and the real concept of a family Kaito." Chisaki spoked in a serious tone, catching his son interest.

"Your first word was my title as a father, and I genuinely teared up." He flipped Kaito's forehead, making the kid yelp "This is how important you are. The only persons that ever made me cry were you three and only."

Kaito widened his eyes in shock, looking up at you and pointing at his dad.

"Daddy cried?!" You nodded while Chisaki growled, not liking to hear that more than once. Kaito looked down at his hands before sighing "I'm so stupid... I promised you both that I would be a good brother yet I did those things... I'm sorry."

You gave him a raspberry on his cheek, finally heari g taht laugh again.

"Is normal feeling jealous of a sibling. But what is not good is trying sending them to Alaska." You laughes in nervousness while Kaito lowered his head.

"I'm sorry... what can I do to... fix what I did?" He felt his father's gloved hand push his head a bit to look up and slided to grab his shoulder, while the other showed Kin smilling and making grabby hands at Kaito.

"Starts to care and not hate your sister would be a good way to fix your mess." Kaito looked uo at his father before hesitantly looking at his sister's golden eyes.

"She might hate me."

"Hmm I guess not." You placed Kin to the bedsheets in a sitting position "She is very giggly when she is around you."

"Is she?" He asked, still looking at his sister.

"The brat only smiled once because you were in the room." Kai said nonchantly glaring a bit at the little girl while you laughed.

Kaito awkwardly and hesitantly got closer and looked up at you, receiving a encouraging nod, before he grabbed her underneath her shoulders and brought her closer.

"Hey... I'm... sorry?" Kaito said awkwardly "I promise to not be a bad older brother anymore... at least I will try. But I am the first and also dad and especially mom's favorite, so have that on your mind." Kai went to scold him before the little girl laughed and cooed while touching her hand on the tip of her brother's nose.

Kaito stayed immobile. Frozen. You and Kai shared another look before Kai poked him in the shoulder.

"Brat?"

"... I love her." He said nonchantly but his (E/c) eyes shined in glee as the girl kicked a bit her legs while Kaito holded her up "She is weird. But is a good weird."

You snorted, thinking thhat in that moment Kaito never looked more than his father than there while Kai just smirked a bit in hopeless.

"It took less than 15 minutes. After eight months." You giggled while he went to give you a kiss before Kaito interrupted.

"See? This is gross Kin. We need to stop them when they do this. Is disgusting."

"Oh HELL no." Kai growled while you almost died of laughter.

Two brats interrupting him and his wife? FUCK NO.

263 notes · View notes

miraculouspaon · 5 years ago

Text

Imogene

Happy (very belated) holidays, @lorrainingart! I was your secret santa for @mlsecretsanta this year. I’m sorry it’s a week late, but the story got a bit away from me and of course I wanted it to be perfect after the beautiful secret santa gift you drew for me. I’m very pleased with how it finally came out, though, and I hope you are as well. Enjoy!

Imogene

Open your eyes.

Emilie Agreste opened her eyes.

The sight before them confused her. Emilie didn’t recognize where she was at first, so different was the secret chamber her husband had built from the last time she’d seen it. It was dark and cold, and something unspoken hung heavy in the air she breathed.

There were four Miraculous holders standing before her, each one of their faces full of shock and disbelief. Two of them, Emilie didn’t recognize at all. The black cat, the red ladybug, they looked so young-but then, maybe Emilie had been that young once, when she found her Miraculous. The blue peacock… the blue peacock had been Emilie’s, hadn’t it? But then how-

“Emilie? Emilie, my love?”

Emilie turned to the final person before her, the purple butterfly, the man with a cold fire in his eyes. “Gabriel?”

Gabriel pulled Emilie into a tight embrace. “You know me? You remember?”

“I think so,” Emilie said slowly. She hugged him back just as tightly. “I remember I… oh, Gabriel, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Shhhh. Everything is well now, my love. We’ve saved you.”

“Ladybug and Chat Noir have escaped,” the holder of the Peacock Miraculous said behind them.

Gabriel whirled around. “What? How? Why didn’t you stop them, Mayura?”

Mayura closed her eyes. “I was distracted by our victory. They must have grabbed their Miraculouses back and escaped while we were witnessing our miracle. Forgive me.”

Gabriel’s face softened. “Of course. It doesn’t matter, they’ve served their purpose.” Gabriel turned back to Emilie. “Nathalie was instrumental in saving you, my love. I could not have succeeded without her.”

“Nathalie?” Emilie looked again at the Miraculous holder. A moment later, she recognized her old friend. “Oh, Nathalie, thank you!” She pushed past Gabriel and embraced Nathalie warmly.

Nathalie put her arms around Emilie stiffly. “Of course.” She looked over Emilie’s shoulder at Gabriel. “Did you recognize either of them? While they were de-transformed, after we got their Miraculouses?”

Gabriel shook his head. “You?”

“No.” Nathalie tightened her embrace of Emilie. “Emilie, you must be tired.”

You are tired.

Emilie nodded. “Everything feels… fuzzy, I think, I,” she yawned mid-sentence, “don’t know if,” her eyes were heavy now, too heavy to keep open, “should…” Sleep claimed Emilie before she could even finish her thought, before she could feel Gabriel take her in his arms and carry her home.

Emilie awoke slowly, in her own bed, in her own room, and for a moment she remembered nothing but that she was happy and safe and home.

“Emilie?” Long fingers brushed the hair from her eyes, and Emilie looked up at the concerned face of her husband. “How do you feel?”

Emilie frowned. “Strange,” she said slowly. “The air is too heavy.” She lifted one hand and studied it briefly. “It’s like I’m moving through molasses.”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes, then looked back over his shoulder. “Nathalie?”

“Emilie was asleep for over a year,” Nathalie replied. “Perhaps her muscles are stiff. I’ll stay with her until she’s feeling herself.”

Emilie smiled warmly. “Thank you, Nathalie.”

Nathalie looked away. “Of course.”

“I’ll be back soon,” Gabriel promised. “There are things I need to take care of, after your disappearance the police want to… but I won’t trouble you with all that. Just know everything’s finally all right.” He placed a gentle kiss on the back of Emilie’s hand.

“Adrien?”

“I’ll send him in when I leave, just for a few minutes. I don’t want you to get too overwhelmed just yet.” Gabriel hesitated. “He doesn’t know anything. I’ve told him you were sent away for medical treatment, that it was experimental and needed to be kept secret.”

Emilie sighed. “I hate lying to him,” she said sadly.

“It’s for the best, my love.”

Emilie nodded. “Of course.”

Gabriel pressed his forehead to Emilie’s, then kissed her cheek. “Get some rest,” he said, before leaving their room.

“Poor Adrien,” Emilie sighed. “This must have been so hard for him.”

Nathalie came to her side and sat next to her at the edge of the mattress. “Your son is overjoyed to have his mother back,” she said. “That’s all that matters. Here.” Nathalie lifted up a hairbrush, and Emilie turned her head obediently. Nathalie began to brush Emilie’s hair. “I’ll straighten you up a bit before Adrien comes in. You’ll feel like yourself soon.”

Feel like yourself.

Emilie nodded. “Yes, I’m sure I will.”

“Oh, before I forget, I found your brooch. I think it fell off when Gabriel carried you back here.” Nathalie reached around Emilie and pinned her favorite silver brooch to her blouse, right above her heart.

Emilie took a breath. The air felt clearer. Her limbs felt lighter.

There was a soft knock at the door. “Mom?” Adrien poked his head in cautiously.

“Oh, Adrien!” Adrien rushed to his mother’s side. “My darling boy, I’ve missed you so.” Emilie pulled her son down to her and hugged him with all her strength.

“Father said you were sick, that you’ve been away at some special hospital or something.”

Emilie swallowed. “That’s right,” she lied.

“But you’re all better now?”

Emilie smiled at her son. “Yes, I’m all better now.” She looked up at Nathalie. “Isn’t that right?”

“Your mother still needs her rest,” Nathalie told Adrien. Adrien’s face fell.

“Only a few more days, darling,” Emilie assured him. “Then I’m all yours, I promise.”

“Adrien, you’re going to be late for school,” Nathalie said.

“School!” Emilie beamed at Adrien. “Oh, you’re going to school now? That’s so exciting, I can’t wait to hear all about it when you come back.”

Gabriel and Nathalie both insisted that Emilie spend a full week in bed. Adrien visited her daily. Emilie asked him a million questions, about school and fencing and piano, about his teachers, his friends, about every single little aspect of his life. Adrien was only too happy to tell her everything. Still, much as she adored his visits, Emilie was beginning to feel a bit mad with boredom. She practically cartwheeled out of bed, the morning Gabriel told her he thought she was well enough to join them for breakfast.

“Oh, thank God, I’m starving,” Emilie said, the moment she entered the dining room and saw the enormous breakfast spread. She reached for a croissant and eagerly took a bite. She had almost finished it off when she noticed both her husband and her son staring at her. “What?”

“You hate croissants,” Adrien said, obviously confused.

“What?” Emilie laughed. “Of course I don’t. Everybody loves croissants.”

“Not you,” Adrien said. “You always said they were too rich.”

“But…” Emilie furrowed her brow, then looked at Nathalie. “I hate croissants?”

Nathalie pursed her lips. “I don’t remember you ever saying anything like that,” she said dismissively. She put a comforting hand on Emilie’s shoulder, then straightened Emilie’s brooch. “People’s tastes change all the time. Don’t worry about it.”

Don’t worry about it.

Emilie’s distressed expression cleared at once.

Gabriel frowned at his wife. “Perhaps you should stay in bed for another day or two.”

“Oh, Gabriel, don’t be silly,” Emilie said breezily. “People’s tastes change all the time.”

“Still, we should be careful you don’t overexert yourself.”

“Gabriel, I promised our son I would spend the entire day with him. I simply refuse to break the first promise I’ve made to him in over a year.”

“It’s okay,” Adrien said, clearly still perturbed. “We don’t have to if you’re still feeling sick.”

“Adrien, I have never felt healthier,” Emilie said confidently.

“Adrien, look!” Emilie pointed at the sign outside the tropical greenhouse of the Paris Zoo. “It says there’s a live feeding in an hour. Is this the exhibit your science teacher wanted your class to check out?”

“Yeah, this is it,” Adrien said. “We’re doing a unit on the Amazon.” They entered the building. “I think the manatees are in here somewhere, and the dart frogs. Hang on, I’ll get the worksheet out.” He began to root through his bag.

“Oh!” Emilie gasped. “Look at that!” She rushed to the window of an exhibit, and it took Adrien a moment to realize what she’d seen.

“The anaconda?” he asked.

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” Emilie waggled a finger at the large snake, who could not have been less interested in her. “Look at that coloring.”

“Yeah, now that you mention it, it’s a pretty green.” Adrien looked at the sign next to the exhibit. “This says she’s pregnant. I thought snakes laid eggs?”

“Congratulations, mama!” Emilie said. The snake continued to ignore her.

“It also says green anacondas are the heaviest snakes in the world.”

“It’s rude to talk about a lady’s weight, Adrien.”

Adrien grinned. “You never liked the snakes when we came here when I was a kid,” he said.

“No?” Emilie asked. “I suppose I didn’t.” She frowned slightly at her faint reflection in the glass. “Maybe my perspective has changed a bit, after… well, after everything.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Adrien said. “I, um, I was looking up stuff on health scares and illnesses with high rates of… well, you know. Everything I read said nobody goes back to being exactly who they were before they get sick. It’s normal”

“Oh, Adrien.” Emilie put a hand over her heart. “That was sweet of you, to look those things up, but you don’t need to worry about me. It’s my job to worry about you, after all.” She hugged her son warmly, and felt a weight lift from her heart. The nagging sense she’d had since waking up, that something was off, wasn’t anything to worry about after all. Coming back from the brink of death simply changed people a little, that was all. Everything was normal.

“Adrien!”

Emilie released Adrien, and he turned around towards the sound of his name. A second later he waved eagerly. “That’s some of my friends from school,” he said excitedly. “I can’t wait for you to meet them. Alya!” A group of girls approached. “Are you guys doing the project, too?”

“That’s right,” the first girl, Alya, said. “My dad doesn’t work in this part of the zoo, but he said he might be able to get us an exclusive close-up look at some of the poisonous frogs, if you don’t mind staying past closing.”

“Oh, I can’t,” Adrien said, “I’m spending the day with my mom. Mom, meet my friends, this is Alya, and Rose, and Juleka, and Alix, and Marinette. Guys, this is my mom.” Adrien beamed at the girls, all of whom gave Emilie smiles and polite nods.

All of them, that is, except the last girl. Marinette, however, looked at Emilie like she was some kind of monster.

“It’s… it’s nice to meet you all,” Emilie said, momentarily thrown off by the young woman’s reaction. She offered her hand warmly, certain she must have imagined the girl’s expression, and the girl flinched and practically jumped backwards.

“Marinette?” Alya raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Girl, are you okay?”

“Fine!” Marinette squeaked. She shook her head, then forced a smile at Emilie. “I’m sorry, it’s so nice to meet you! But, um, I was just thinking about this other thing, I forgot, I’m so silly, my dad needs me to cake some bookies-I mean bake some cookies! So I have to go, I’m so sorry, bye everyone!” Marinette hurried for the exit, nearly tripping over her own feet in her rush.

“Oh, dear,” Emilie said. “I think I must have upset her somehow.”

“Oh, no,” Alix said, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, Marinette’s always like that. Right, Adrien?”

Adrien frowned. “She seemed upset.”

“She’ll be fine,” Rose said. “She was just nervous because she wasn’t expecting to see Adrien.” Alya elbowed Rose. “See him next to the snakes,” Rose added in a rush. “Because, um, because Marinette is scared of snakes.”

“Really?” Adrien looked towards the door. “That doesn’t sound like her at all.” He looked at his mother. “I’m sorry she had to leave so fast. Usually she’s really great. She’s the class representative, and she makes the best macarons in Paris, and...” Adrien began to give his mother a list of Marinette’s accomplishments, which Emilie only half-listened to. It was clear that Adrien had a bit of a crush on the girl, and that the other girls believed Marinette had a bit of a crush right back. But it was also clear to her that Marinette’s initial reaction had nothing to do with Adrien, and everything to do with Emilie.

That night, Gabriel came to bed to find his wife sitting at their bay window. She was hugging her knees and gazing up at the stars, lost in thought and bathed in moonlight. He smiled. “You are so beautiful.”

Emilie started. “Oh! Gabriel, I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Lost in thought?”

Emilie hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the look Adrien’s friend had given her, or the way she’d instinctively recoiled at Emilie’s touch. “Something like that.”

Gabriel crossed the room and sat next to her. “Do you know what I thought of when I saw you here? Lit only by the light of a full moon in that white dress, your hair flowing down over your shoulders?” Emilie shook her head. “I thought of our honeymoon. Remember?”

“Nassau,” Emilie said immediately. “We went to the beach. We swam with the dolphins. It was like paradise.”

Gabriel blinked, momentarily taken aback at his wife’s flat tone. “I meant, do you remember that one night? You woke me up, hours after everyone else at the resort had fallen asleep. You led me back to the shore. We were so in love, and you were so excited to be…” Gabriel trailed off. “Don’t you remember?”

Emilie frowned. She knew they’d gone to the Bahamas for their honeymoon. She knew it had been magical. She knew it had been the trip of a lifetime. And yet… she knew it the way she knew that the Earth was round, or that water froze at zero degrees Celsius. She knew it like it was a fact she couldn’t remember learning. Her memories of the trip were just vague, shallow impressions. She didn’t remember the night Gabriel was talking about at all.

“Don’t worry about it, my love,” Gabriel said quickly, seeing that his question had upset Emilie. “It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter.”

“Of course our honeymoon matters, Gabriel,” Emilie whispered. Gabriel wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “I think I came back wrong.”

“What? That’s absurd.”

“I can’t remember our honeymoon. I can’t remember not liking croissants. What else can’t I remember?”

Gabriel tightened his embrace. “Your memories will return in time,” he said confidently. “We just have to be patient.”

Emilie sighed and leaned back into her husband’s arms. “Maybe you’re right.”

Gabriel leaned over enough to kiss Emilie’s cheek. One hand caressed her shoulder, and the other fingered her brooch idly. “All that matters is that we love each other.”

You love each other.

A sudden surge of desire shot through Emilie. She twisted in Gabriel’s embrace to face him, and kissed him passionately. After a moment of shock, he kissed her back. Emilie’s hand came up to Gabriel’s ascot, and she pulled it off without slowing down. She pushed him back, pinning him against the windowsill, before getting on her knees so she could straddle her husband, so she could-

“Emilie.” Gabriel swallowed visibly, then took Emilie’s hands and gently but firmly removed them from his person. “I don’t want us to rush into anything you’re not ready for.”

Emilie was breathing hard, and it took her a moment to catch herself. She pushed herself backwards, off of her husband. She didn’t know where that had come from, why she’d been overcome out of nowhere. The second she’d stopped, the impulse had fled. She didn’t know why she felt only relief now, that Gabriel had stopped her. She didn’t know why the thought of being with Gabriel, as his wife, now broke her heart.

“You’re right,” Emilie finally said, unable to begin to put into words what had just happened. “There’s no rush.”

The next morning, Emilie stayed in bed until the house was empty. Adrien was in school, Gabriel was at work, and Nathalie had finally been persuaded to leave Emilie’s side and join him. The three people who loved Emilie best in the world were all convinced she was perfectly fine.

Emilie was not fine. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know why, but she knew something was terribly wrong.

Emilie pushed herself through the motions of her morning. She got up, she showered, she dressed herself, she ate breakfast. All the while, a plan was forming. Maybe it was reckless, after everything Emilie had already been through. Maybe it was crazy. But it wasn’t as crazy as Emilie was going to be if she didn’t get some answers, and soon.

Emilie made her way to her husband’s home office, pushed aside the portrait concealing the safe, and punched in the security code.

There it was, waiting for her. The Peacock Miraculous. With a steady hand, Emilie picked it up.

There was a flash of light, and Duusu appeared. “Emilie? Why do you have my Miraculous?”

Emilie gave Duusu a wry smile. “What, you’re not happy to see me?”

Duusu looked away. “Of course I am.”

Emilie frowned. Duusu had always been a terrible liar. She wore her emotions on her sleeve, just like Emilie did. It was what had made them such a good match for each other, before the damage of the Miraculous caught up to Emilie. “Duusu, did something happen to me? Something that Gabriel’s wish didn’t fix?”

Duusu shook her head, but she still wouldn’t meet Emilie’s eyes. “No, his wish worked perfectly. Everything’s all better now.”

“No,” Emilie said. She was certain now, and furious. “No, everything is not all better, and you know it, and you’re hiding it from me!”

“Please, Emilie,” Duusu whispered. “Put the Miraculous away. Go back to your husband and your son. Be happy.”

“I can’t. I have to know the truth.” Emilie took a deep breath. “Duusu, spread my feathers!”

Emilie felt the familiar magic wash over her. She’d missed it, even though it had nearly cost her everything. Once her transformation was complete, she looked around Gabriel’s office and quickly found an ordinary pen. Picking it up, Emilie focused her power on her own emotions, her own desperate need to learn the truth, no matter how terrible. Wisps of black began to gather before her, twisting and writhing, until it formed into-

A ferret.

Emilie blinked, then crouched down and gave the creature a gentle pat. It chirped happily and went up on its hind legs. “Hey, little guy,” Emilie cooed. “Are you gonna ferret out the truth for me?”

The sentimonster gave her another happy chirp, then promptly disappeared. Emilie frowned, confused. Sentimonsters were supposed to help their charges, not abandon them. Well, no matter. The creature was bound to the pen, so for as long as Emilie held it she could order the creature back to help her. Clutching her talisman, she concentrated. Come back to me, she thought, directing her will at her sentimonster.

“Mayura!”

Emilie whirled around to see Adrien standing behind her, staring in shock and horror. “Adrien? What are you… oh, no, no, I’m not Mayura,” she said in a rush. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m sorry, you weren’t supposed to… I don’t know why…” She looked down, and saw the ferret biting Adrien’s pant leg. The creature released Adrien, then looked up at Emilie and almost seemed to beam with pride.

Adrien looked at Emilie warily. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Emilie said quickly. “Just a little-ow!” Her sentimonster had bitten her. Not hard, not enough to do any real damage, but still, a sentimonster turning on their charge? And on the wielder of the Peacock Miraculous, too? Emilie had never seen such a thing. “Ferret out the truth… oh, no.” She looked up at her son. “Adrien, I’m so sorry.” She sighed, defeated. “Duusu, feathers in.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “Mom? Why do you have the Peacock Miraculous?”

“I was trying to use it to find out the truth. There’s something going on, something wrong, but I don’t know what.”

Adrien’s face went a shade paler. “You’re sick again?”

“No!” The ferret growled softly. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. This thing,” Emilie gestured to her sentimonster, “was supposed to find out the truth for me. Instead, it’s making me reveal the truth to you.” She took another deep breath. “My sickness, it wasn’t what your father told you. It was caused by this.” Emilie held up the Peacock Miraculous. “It was damaged. We didn’t realize until I’d used it too many times, and by then there was nothing anybody could do.”

“But you’re better now,” Adrien said slowly. “You got better. Somebody did something.”

Emilie nodded, bracing herself. “Yes.”

Adrien narrowed his eyes. “Father’s grimoire. It had pictures of Miraculouses in it. It wasn’t just for fashion inspiration, was it? He was studying it to figure out how to save you.”

“That’s right,” Emilie said. “And he learned the only thing that could save me was the combined power of the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses. Together, they can grant any wish.”

Emilie could see it on his face, the moment Adrien put everything together. “Hawkmoth. Father is Hawkmoth.”

“I’m so sorry, baby.” Emilie blinked back tears. “It’s all my fault, everything was all my fault. Your father only did what he had to to save me.”

Adrien shook his head slowly. “You’re not responsible for his actions,” he said. “I… I need to think.”

Emilie nodded. “Of course, my darling.” Adrien took a step towards the door, but the ferret sentimonster quickly blocked his path and hissed. “Stop that,” Emilie scolded. The sentimonster held its position. “Let him go,” Emilie ordered. “I told him my secret, what more do you want? Anyway, you’re supposed to be finding out secrets for me, and Adrien doesn’t know anything about Miraculouses, do you?”

“Of course not-ow!” Adrien pulled his hand away, but not before the ferret nipped him.

Emilie’s heart skipped a beat. “Adrien? Do you know something? Something that might give me a clue about what’s happening to me?”

Adrien eyed the ferret warily. A moment later his shoulders sagged in defeat. “I know Father couldn’t have made the wish you think he made.”

Emilie frowned. “You think he wished for something else?”

“No,” Adrien said. “I know he couldn’t have made any wish. Because he would have needed Chat Noir’s Miraculous to do it.” Adrien held up his hand grimly. “And Chat Noir’s Miraculous hasn’t left my finger for over a year.”

Adrien’s meaning hit Emilie like a ton of bricks. “No. No, no, no, you can’t be Chat Noir.”

“I am,” he said miserably.

“I saw Chat Noir. I saw him, right when I woke up, right before he and Ladybug escaped. I saw him!”

Adrien laughed humorlessly. “I think I’d remember my arch-nemesis stealing my Miraculous to wake up my missing mother.”

Emilie looked at her sentimonster and let out an irritated huff. “I still don’t know anything, and now I have more questions than I did before. I need answers.”

The sentimonster tilted its head, then promptly vanished.

“What’s it doing now?” Adrien asked.

“I don’t know,” Emilie said. “It’s not acting at all the way I expected.”

There was a sudden loud pop, and three more people appeared in the room. Gabriel and Nathalie, Emilie was hardly surprised to see. The third, however, Emilie had not expected, although perhaps she should have.

“Marinette?” Adrien said, confused.

“Adrien!” Marinette looked around in shock and confusion. “What’s going on?”

“Emilie.” Gabriel was at her side in an instant, his arms around her. “Are you hurt? Whatever’s going on, I’ll keep you safe.”

“Gabriel.” Emile gave her husband an apologetic smile. “I’m what’s going on.”

“What?”

Emilie gestured to her sentimonster in the middle of the room. “Something’s wrong, Gabriel. I used the Peacock Miraculous to find out what. That ferret is a sentimonster, and it won’t let anyone leave or lie until the truth is revealed.”

“You used the Peacock Miraculous? Are you mad, Emilie? After we almost lost you to that thing?”

“There’s no danger anymore, Gabriel, and I have to know what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong!” Gabriel insisted. “You’re awake again, you’re healthy, everything is perfect.”

“He believes that,” Adrien said softly. His parents turned towards him, and he gestured to the ferret. “That thing didn’t bite him. For everything he’s lied about, he’s not lying now.”

Gabriel frowned. “Adrien-”

“We can talk about it later,” Adrien interrupted coldly. “Right now we need to figure out why Mom thinks you used Ladybug and Chat Noir’s Miraculouses to wake her up, when I know for a fact you couldn’t have.” He held up the hand with his ring pointedly, then turned to the other two people in the room. “If Father doesn’t know what’s really going on, one of you two must.”

“There’s nothing we can tell you, Adrien,” Nathalie said firmly. She managed to keep from crying out when the sentimonster bit her, but only just.

“Want to try that again?” Adrien asked. Nathalie pursed her lips and remained silent. “Fine. Marinette?” Adrien softened noticeably as he turned to her, but his tone remained firm. “You’re not going to lie to me, are you?”

Marinette blinked back a few tears. “Oh, Adrien,” she said miserably. “I had no idea, you have to believe me, I had no idea the woman Hawkmoth wanted to save was your mother!”

“Quiet,” Nathalie snapped at Marinette. “They don’t know anything. For heaven’s sake, stop talking.”

“She made a sentimonster!” Marinette snapped right back at Nathalie. “You said it would be foolproof, that it would work forever, that nobody would ever find out. It’s only been a week and she’s already making sentimonsters! Is she even supposed to be able to do that?”

“How should I know?” Nathalie asked defensively. “You’re the Miraculous expert, not me. I’ve never done this before.”

Marinette scoffed. “That’s not exactly true, is it?”

“I told you already, the second Ladybug only seemed sentient because you were holding her talisman when you wanted her to be sentient, she was just acting the way you wanted her to act. This is completely different, this is…” Nathalie looked back at Emilie and fell silent once more.

Gabriel looked back and forth between Nathalie and Marinette. “You two seem to know each other quite well,” he said dryly.

“Marinette?” Emilie said gently. Marinette looked at her, the guilt written across her face plain as day. “Please.”

Marinette took a deep breath and began to speak.

Three weeks earlier…

Ladybug landed without a sound on the rooftop and looked around. She couldn’t see much in the dark of the night, but the shadows of one corner were deeper than the others. Ladybug crossed her arms and fixed the darkness with a stare. “Well?”

Out of the shadows stepped Mayura. “Thank you for coming.”

“You have five seconds to hold my interest, and then I’m leaving and not coming back,” Ladybug snapped. “You’re lucky I agreed to come at all.”

Mayura nodded. “I think there’s a way for all of us to get what we want.”

Ladybug let out a sharp laugh. “You’re never getting my Miraculous. I would never let someone like you-”

“Please,” Mayura interrupted, holding up a hand. “You don’t understand… he doesn’t want it for himself, if you only knew him like I-”

“Talk faster.”

Mayura pressed her lips together. “Fine. We can’t win, I see that now. But he’ll never give up, not until he’s saved the woman he loves.”

Ladybug straightened. “The woman he… you mean, you two aren’t-”

“Of course not,” Mayura said defensively. “All of this is to save his wife. She wielded this Miraculous before I did. We didn’t realize it was damaged, not until it was too late. She’s locked in eternal sleep now.”

“If the Miraculous is fixed-“

“We tried that,” Mayura said impatiently. “Your Guardian revealed enough to us and we repaired it. Hawkmoth’s wife remains asleep. The only thing that will wake her now is the combined power of the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculouses.”

Ladybug shook her head. “That won’t work. I wish it could, but the law of equal exchange means I can’t save anyone without losing someone else.”

“It’s a price either of us would have happily paid,” Mayura said bitterly, “but I won’t waste my breath trying to convince you to sacrifice either of us for her. I know what heroes are like.” Mayura spat the word ‘hero’ like a curse. “There’s another way. With the Fox Miraculous, you could create an illusion that Hawkmoth believes. You could trick him into believing he has defeated you, used the Miraculouses, and brought back his wife.”

Ladybug was silent for a while. “You’re talking about betraying him.”

“I’m talking about saving him from himself before he loses everything.”

Ladybug studied the woman in front of her. “You love him,” she finally said. “Maybe he’s still in love with his wife, but you’re in love with him, aren’t you?” Mayura said nothing. “Your plan won’t work. The illusions of the Fox Miraculous are temporary.”

“They are,” Mayura agreed. “My sentimonsters, however, are not.”

The being who was not Emilie could feel the stares of everyone in the room as Marinette finished her story. She could feel everyone looking at her like they’d never seen her before in their lives. And why shouldn’t they? She wasn’t Emilie. She wasn’t Gabriel’s wife, she wasn’t Adrien’s mother. She wasn’t a woman, she wasn’t a human, she wasn’t anything at all.

It was Adrien who finally broke the heavy silence. “You tricked me?” he asked Marinette, his voice breaking a little.

“I’m so sorry, Adrien,” Marinette said tearfully. “I thought I’d just be tricking Hawkmoth. I had no idea he had a son, or that it was you, or that you were Chat.”

“Perhaps you knew nothing,” Gabriel said icily. He turned to his assistant. “Nathalie, however, knew exactly who she was betraying.”

Nathalie squared her shoulders and looked her boss straight in the eye. “We were losing, sir,” she said plainly. “We were always going to lose. You kept calling yourself a man with nothing to lose, but that wasn’t true.” She nodded towards Adrien. “I did the only thing I could think of to get you back your wife before you truly lost everything.”

“You didn’t, though,” the sentimonster who was not Emilie said miserably. “I’m not his wife, am I? I’m not even close. I don’t remember the things I should remember, I don’t feel the things I should feel. I’m just some vague approximation, some combination of what you thought Emilie was and what you wanted her to be.” She laughed bitterly. “Oh, no wonder my heart twists a little every time Gabriel kisses me. It’s because your heart twists, doesn’t it? Because you went and fell in love with the man whose wife you were trying to save.” Not-Emilie shook her head. “Everything about me is just a cruel joke.” She reached for her heart and quickly unclasped her brooch. “Well, it doesn’t matter. Just one little snap and everything’s fixed.” She grasped the brooch between her two hands and took a breath, bracing herself.

“No!” Adrien darted forward and snatched the brooch from not-Emilie’s hands. “Stop!”

STOP.

Not-Emilie froze, still as death. It took Adrien a moment to understand why. “Oh, God, no, I’m sorry,” he said frantically, shoving the brooch back into not-Emilie’s hand. “I didn’t mean to… I just had to stop you from breaking it, that’s all, I didn’t think-”

“Do you have any idea,” not-Emilie said quietly, examining the brooch, “what it’s like to be controlled by this thing?” She sighed. “I should have realized from the start, heaven knows I’ve had enough experience with the Peacock Miraculous… except no, I suppose I don’t have much actual experience at all, do I? But I have the memories of it all the same.” She traced a finger over the silver petals. “It’s like drowning,” she whispered. “It’s like being smothered in the will of another person. It digs into you, down to the marrow, until you can’t tell it apart from yourself.”

“I won’t touch it ever again,” Adrien said desperately. “You don’t have to feel like that ever again. Just keep it, lock it away somewhere safe, and nobody will be able to control you.”

“Why?” not-Emilie whispered. “What’s the point? Why shouldn’t I just break it and be done with it? I’m not your mother. I can’t ever be her.”

“I don’t want you to be my mother!” Adrien exclaimed. “I just want you to be you, whoever that is!”

Not-Emilie shook her head. “I’m not anybody, Adrien.”

“That’s not true!” Adrien insisted.

“Who am I, then?” she asked desperately.

“You’re… you’re someone who likes croissants!” Adrien said. Not-Emilie stared for a moment, and then she began to laugh. “I’m serious!” Adrien protested, but he, too, began to smile. “You like croissants, and anacondas, and… and you’re pretty reckless, I guess, doing all this, but you’re clever, too, and you’re kind, and you care about me.” Adrien gulped. “And I really don’t want to lose another person who cares about me. Please, I’m so sick of losing people.”

The being who was not Adrien’s mother looked at him silently for a moment, then nodded. With shaky fingers, she pinned the brooch back to her blouse.

Adrien carried a giant cage up the steps of an apartment complex, through the door to the newly rented unit, and around unpacked boxes and shrink wrapped furniture. He finally made it to the bedroom and placed it carefully down before collapsing dramatically onto the bed. “All done, Aunt Imogene!”

“Oh, thank you darling, you’re the best,” came his aunt’s chipper reply from somewhere in the kitchen. Adrien heard the clicking of her heels grow steadily louder, and then she entered the room. “Oh, who’s a good boy?” Imogene cooed. “Are you happy to be finally home? Do you want to come out?” Imogene opened the cage and gently lifted her ferret out, then gave his nose a soft kiss.

“Are you sure you want to keep him?” Adrien asked. “I don’t think he’s actually alive. Not like you are, anyway.”

Imogene hummed thoughtfully. “I’m not so sure that’s true,” she said lightly, stroking the sentimonster. “Anyway, having a lie detector for a pet might come in handy one of these days. Does he want scratches? Yes?” She sat down on the bed next to Adrien and gently scratched her ferret’s belly.

Adrien reached over and gave the ferret a gentle pat. “You know, Father would have gotten you a bigger place if you’d wanted one. And maybe one closer to the mansion, too.”

Imogene shook her head. “No, this place is perfect,” she said happily. “I just need a place I can make completely my own. And maybe a little space from your father and Nathalie, just for a little while.”

Adrien snorted. “Join the club.”

Imogene gave him a searching look. “Do you need to be away from them for a while, Adrien? You’re welcome to stay here. Of course I understand if that’s difficult, too, but maybe I could-”

“No, no,” Adrien said quickly. “I mean, I’d be happy to stay with you, thanks for offering, but… no. Father and I need to work through a lot of things. And he’s actually trying, which is nice.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Imogene said. “How has he been?”

“He’s…” Adrien paused for a moment, collecting his thoughts. “He’s finally letting himself mourn Mom, I think. He didn’t really do that the first time we lost her. So that’s hard, but it’s healthy. He’s not ready to let her go yet, but he gave Marinette the Miraculouses. I think he’s going to get there this time.”

“Oh, good.”

“He’s still not speaking to Nathalie,” Adrien added, “but at this point I think it’s not even about being mad at her anymore. It’s just easier than dealing with how they feel about each other.” Adrien rolled his eyes. “They’re both so closed off, they’re perfect for each other. They’ll figure it out eventually.”

“And how have you been?” Imogene asked gently.

Adrien was silent for a while. “I miss Mom,” he said. “Losing her the second time hurt more than the first, I think.”

“I’m so sorry, love.”

“It’s not your fault,” Adrien said softly. “Marinette, um, she’s looking into what exactly happened to her. She’s pretty new to being the Guardian, but she’s got such a knack for it already. If anyone can figure out a way to save Mom, a real way, it’ll be her.”

“I hope she does,” Imogene said sincerely.

“Oh, before I forget.” Adrien sat up, then pulled some things from his pocket. “Your ID, passport, birth certificate. Aunt Amelie sent it all over this morning. I’m not sure what crazy Graham de Vanily strings she pulled, but they work fast.”

Imogene took the documents and looked through them carefully. She blinked back a few tears, but there was a smile on her face. “Imogene Graham de Vanily,” she read. “She’s a real person now. Thank you, Adrien. And thank Amelie for me, too. I doubt she’s ready to talk to me herself just yet. It’s going to be difficult for her.”

“Maybe not,” Adrien said. “Her exact words when I told her everything were, ‘Oh well, what’s one more identical sister?’” Imogene chuckled. “I think she’s looking forward to getting to know you.”

“Is that right?” Imogene stood up and stepped towards the window. She looked out at the city below, the sunlight dancing across her face. “Yes, I think I’m looking forward to getting to know me, too.”

#mlsecretsanta #mlss 2019 #emilie agreste #some gabrielie and gabenath #but who needs shipping when you've got existential dread?

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fatehbaz · 5 years ago

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Some responses to Earthworm Discourse:

g u e s s a g a i n

Honestly, though, I still rescue earthworms from sidewalks and have since I was a child in our little informal, weird-girl, after-school bug-club, as I’m sure many of us did and still do. All life has value. (Still feeling confused about the ethical/ecological implications of rescuing non-native worms. When so many United States cities present as sanitized, sterilized, anonymous concrete-asphalt landscapes - covered in manicured non-native grass lawns - are the already-firmly-entrenched non-native earthworms causing much more damage in residential lawns if you save a few, so long as you avoid introducing them to intact ecological sites outside city limits? No pun intended, but that discourse is a whole other can of worms. Discussion for another time.) So I’ve seen some disparaging remarks made about the Moral Character of non-native earthworms, so obligatory statement: Earthworms of course are not villains or actively malevolent. Colonization; Indigenous dispossession; empire; profit-oriented thinking; industrial monoculture; large-scale geoengineering over years to reshape the entirety of the Turtle Island and Latin American landscapes as if they were “bountiful” European farms populated by “familiar and comforting” European species, etc. - earthworms are a physical manifestation of those issues.

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[Spokesman Review - 20 November 1999. Andrea Vogt, staff writer.]

Two of the largest and most iconic native earthworms on the continent are actually found west of the Rockies. Shout-out to [a commenter] for explicitly name-dropping the beautiful and alluring Palouse giant earthworm (Driloleirus americanus), a rare and elusive species, one of the earthworm species actually native west of the Rockies (from the Washington-Idaho border in the Inland Northwest). [More on the worm.] It lives in the Palouse Hills; in the nearby Nez Perce Prairie and Lower Clearwater canyon system; and in some sites in Washington’s East Cascades ecoregion. Much of the Palouse has been converted to agriculture, damaging the soil, and the worm was apparently missing for decades until recent encounters confirmed that it’s still alive. The Palouse giant earthworm and the endangered Oregon giant earthworm (Driloleirus macelfreshi) - from prairie-oak woodland of Willamette Valley - are both contenders for the title of “largest native earthworm in North America.”

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Excellent info:

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Nice to hear some info on boreal environments, thank you @theeclectickoalastudent - This is also how tiger salamanders (Ambystoma mavoritum) - native in North America east of the Great Basin - were artificially introduced to Mediterranean California: People were importing salamander larvae as fishing bait. (Pretty brutal to begin with, if you ask me.) And now the iconic, unique California tiger salamander (Ambystoma californiense) - endemic only to California and which was already endangered - is forced to directly compete to reclaim its own oak woodland and chaparral habitat from its introduced relative. And we can’t let United States “conservation” and land management agencies and institutions off the hook for the obscene and mind-boggling scale of damage they’ve historically done stocking non-native sport fish species in watersheds of the American West, followed by the stocking of non-native crustaceans to feed the fish. (Speaking of non-native species threatening salamanders, I was [just] hyperfixating the other day on how the Mazama newt - endemic only to Crater Lake, Oregon - may soon be driven extinct by the voracious introduced crayfish species Pacifastacus leniusculus.)

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Important disclaimer, by the way: I also wanted to clarify something, so I’m reposting some text I recently shared. Regarding the worm post, I wanted to say: [I know some people who have shared “unleash earthworms” posts clearly did so because: fun; irony; joke; etc. (And, yea, I really like imagining invertebrates/writhing creatures as emblems of resistance/anti-imperialism: “We’re worms, we’ve been stepped on for years, we persist! And our reward for submitting to the decay of the soil is to be engulfed in the loving embrace of one million mycorrhyzal fungal tendrils; by submerging ourselves into the soil we are really a s c e n d i n g.”) I was not vauge-posting about y’all. Like I said previously, I think peoples’ hearts are in the right place and I generally like people I meet here in anti-imperialist/ecology-oriented circles. I think that the originators of the most recent iterations of those posts were clearly being playful. My green tea-fueled ranting about Problematic Worm Etiquette is mostly due to: (1) sometimes I get Like That, (2) I’ll concoct any excuse to talk about Great Lakes regional ecology, and (3) I know some - not all - people were taking “release worms!” advice seriously, so figured it be nice to be explicit.]

On that note, regarding earthworm introduction as a means to improve your own access to food (via garden) or food (via using them as fishing bait): I did definitely see some people being serious about this, so it’s worth noting the irony of a well-meaning action which nevertheless deliberately introduces European species, erasing/degrading native ecology, and also resulting in the destruction of Indigenous foodsheds. Reshaping the Earth, remolding the continent, and promoting the physical/literal invasion of a European species in the hopes of making the land more “fruitful” and “bountiful”? In my US and/or Canada? Just as likely as you think.

Really important stuff right here:

(Sugar maple is one of the plant species most susceptible to death when non-native earthworms invade nearby soul. Thank you for sharing this, @aanzheni)

A map of native foodshed regions of Turtle Island/North America, based on a template originally made by ethnobiologist Gary Paul Nabhan, presenting hypothetical “food regions” and reflecting the vital local staple foods.

Sugar maple is important.

I talk too much, but @big-edies-sun-hat said it more tastefully:

@nonsensikelly - Thank you for the info. (And yea, earthworms are well-entrenched in temperate North America.)

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I really am not a good person to ask. (Though I’d identify some blatantly obvious solutions - Indigenous autonomy and land management; the dismantling of industrial monoculture crop extraction and associated industry; etc.) I’m not a soil scientist, botanist, entomologist, or technical ecologist/biologist (more into environmental geography/history). However, I had your comment in mind when I wrote [this post] about loss of forest understory and savannafication in the Midwest, addressing why it is that so much earthworm research comes from schools/institutions in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, and Ontario, due partially to the critical ecological importance of the northern central hardwoods forests as a frontline against worm expansion into boreal environments.

@mi-el-lat I know @cedar-glade already responded to you and it’s worth reposting:

also from cedar-glade, but formatted so the link is clickable:

you can get idea about how gray the knowledge of both invasive earthworms and the effects of potentially invasive predators are from many articles out now a days trying to figure out ecological dynamics of earthworms in any shape or form. https://www.inhs.illinois.edu/resources/inhsreports/may-jun00/worm/

Since a lot of invasive earthworm research and dialogue focuses on the Great Lakes region, we’re in luck because Tumblr might have a resident expert so to speak, since I’m pretty sure @starfoozle specializes in Great Lakes-region invasive species. Regarding “What Can Be Done” to rally community effort, for someone with experience in Midwest landscapes specifically involving citizen science and community engagement with ecology, shout-out to @glumshoe.

And if you’ve got questions about botany, soil, and plant ecology generally, these people are much better scientists than me. They know exactly what they’re talking about and I cannot recommend them highly enough: @spatheandspadix / @botanyshitposts / cedarglade, again ... all of whomst also have firsthand experience with plants and ecosystems of the Midwest and Great Lakes.

Sorry for the long post!

#sorry

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pallid-panda-does-art · 4 years ago

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Little lat to the party, like always lol. But here's my sailor moon redraw Sailor moon was the first anime I watched and it has a special place in my heart!

#sailor moon redraw #myart #furry art #anthro art #cute #bunny #rabbit

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stairset · 5 years ago

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Got tagged by @rise-of-ahsoka for a thing so here we go

Top 3 ships: Ugh god, off the top of my head I think I’m gonna go with

Kanera: The MOST valid m/f ship in any media ever, NO ONE has their energy

Halbarry: I literally never post about them anymore because the fandom all but died back in like 2017 but they still have a special place in my heart and 15 year old baby gay me was OBSESSED with them

I’m gonna cheat and make it a tie between Korrasami and Stormpilot and I don’t think I even need to give a reason for either of them cause like come on lol.

Honorable mentions: Uh my OCs Danny and Dustin who I have not drawn yet but make no mistake I think about them every god damned second of every god damned day. Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Finnrey but only when she’s written well and gives a shit about him lmao. Uuuh Scorpion and Sub-Zero, ultimate enemies to lovers. Myself with Dustin Bates (no relation to the above mentioned OC). There’s more but I’m tired and those are the first ones that come to mind.

Last song I listened to: Just Like You by Three Days Grace cause I just got home from class and was listening to music while driving and that was the last song that played before I got home.

Last movie I saw in theaters: Birds of Prey.

Lat movie I watched at home: My parents and I watched Moana for our last movie night cause they hadn’t seen it yet.

Last book I read: Well technically my psych textbook while I was studying but that’s boring so the last BOOK book I read was Thrawn Alliances which I started ages ago then only got halfway through because the Thrawn books are good but holy SHIT they have a lot of words and I keep forgetting to finish it.

What food am I craving: The egg sandwich from Birds of Prey. If you’ve seen it you Know.

And I can’t think of 9 people to tag but @lesbinewren @a-telekinetic-issue @plushrabbits @tryforce and anyone else who wants to do it go nuts I guess lol

#shut up tristan

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peggysousfan · 5 years ago

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Captain America: The First Super Soldiers

Chapter 6 is finished....and it is the final chapter!!!! I enjoyed this series so much, it was fun to write. I hope you all enjoy it as well!!:)

1 month later, SSR Bunker:

"Johann Schmidt belongs in a bug house. He thinks he's a god, and he's willing to blow up half of the world to prove it,starting with the USA." Philips says. The others are at the large,circular, meeting table. Carter, Stark, Sousa, Rogers, and the other Commandos.

"Schmidt is working with powers beyond our capabilities." Stark explains. "He gets across the Atlantic, He will wipe out the entire Eastern seaboard in an hour." Rogers and Sousa continue look at the files in front of them.

"How much time we got?" Jones asks.

"According to my new best friend, under 24 hours." Philips says. Another Agent from the crowd asks where he is, and Philips explains. "Hydras lats base is here.In the Alps, 500 feet below the surface.

"So what are we supposed to do?" Asks Morita, one of the Commandos."I mean, its not like we can just knock on the front door."

"Why not?" Rogers asks. The whole room goes silent.

"He's right, why not?" Maybe thats exactly what we should do." Peggy looks at Daniel, puzzled. He discretely reaches over and touches her hand.

"Not 'should do'. Thats what we're going to do."

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2 hours later:

"Peggy! I got something I want to show you."

"What is it now, Howard? I'm rather busy at the moment." reading over a file for the mission.

"I know, I know, I know. Just- come look!" She breaths a deep sigh and follows him. As they walk, she begins to hold her stomach. Although she is starting to see the bump, her uniform is tight and buff enough to hide it. She and Daniel have agreed to hide the child as long as possible, and when its not...they'll come clean to the military and run off till the baby is born. When it is, Daniel wants to stay home with him or her while Peggy works. Although shes tried to argue, he insisted.

"What is it that I'm suppose to be looking at ..?" She asks as they enter Howard's lab. She has an idea, but shes afraid of his answer.

"Well what does it look like? Its a crib."

"Yes, but....Why?" Peggy tries to calm her increased heart rate because of fear; fear of what he will say next.

"Do you really think I haven't noticed? The late nights and sneaking around to see Sousa. The running away and getting sick... AND the mysterious doctor visit? I'm a genius. Its not that hard to figure out that you're -"

"Stop." She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. He looks away, ashamed.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone, Peg. I just...wanted to help out." she looks away for several moments, not knowing what to say.

"Thank you, Howard. We appreciate the thought. But..I'm barely 4 months along. We won't need it for some time, and even then...I- I don't know where to put it. I don't even have a home to place it." She sighs in defeat. While she is happy to have this child with Daniel, she is also terrified. Not only is her career on the line, but they are not married, nor do they have a house together. There will be enough gossip wherever they go about them living together, let alone having a baby in the middle of a war.

"You'll find somewhere eventually." He says. "And besides, who cares what other people think. As long as you two are happy, thats all that matters." She looks at him, shocked. "Don't look so surprised. You're not married. People will talk about anything, you just can't let it get to you."

"Valued advice, thank you."

"Just off topic here..." Peggy turns to look at him. "You do know that, uh, the army does provide- I guess you can say...protection to prevent these kind of situation." She glares at him.

"Thank you, Howard again. We had absolutely NO idea that was an option." She says sarcastically.

"Well if you knew then why didn't you-" He stops and laughs. She looks at him confused. "I get it" He laughs again. "You did use it, but the serum is just to strong to-"

"Alright thats quite enough." She raises her hand to stop him.

"Agent Carter," She turns to the door as an agent speaks her name. "Everyone's prepping for the mission. Colonel wanted to let you know to get ready."

"Of course, Thank you." He leaves and she turns to Stark. "Thanks again, Howard, for the gift. I will be sure to tell Daniel all about it after."

"Wait what mission? Should you really being doing that while you're-"

"I'm perfectly fine. I will not stop doing my job until it is impossible to move. Now if you will excuse me, I have a mission to prepare for." She starts to walk away and then stops. "And before you say anything, yes Daniel does know I am going, and no I don't need his permission to do my job. I do what ever I damn well please and need no mans approval." And then shes gone.

"I was just gonna say good luck." He shakes his head. "Women..."

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Outside of Hydras Base:

"We all understand the plan?" Sousa asks.

"We're all good to go," Dugan says.

"I hate the fact that I'm the bait." Steve says.

"Well, you've been captured before. To them it'll be considered a win." And with that everyone gets into place. Rogers revs up his motorcycle and takes down soldiers, a tank, and drives up the wall and into the base. He fights soldiers left and right, but soon is encircled by fire and surrounded by soldiers. Hes put in cuffs and taken to Schmidt.

"Arrogance may not be a uniquely American quality trait, but I must say, you do it better than anyone." Schmidt says as he walks to Rogers. "But there are limits to what even you can do, Captain. Or did Erskine tell you two otherwise?"

"He told us you were insane."

"Ahh. He resented my genius and tried to deny me what was rightfully mine. But he gave you and Sousa everything. Tell me, where is he at this moment?"

"Don't know. I just came here to avenge my friend." Schmidt snickers.

"Mhm. So, what makes you two so special?"

"I can't speak for Sousa, but for me? Nothing. I'm juts a kid from Brooklyn." The Red Skull gets furious and punches Rogers in the face and gut, and that makes him fall on his knees. "I can do this all day." He pants.

"Of course you can, of course. But, unfortunately, I am on a tight schedule." He pulls out a gun and aims it at Rogers head. But before he can pull the trigger, the commandos zip line through the window and shoot off rounds; while Sousa tosses his shield at Schmidt and hits him in the face. The room fills with shots fired as the Commandos and Hydra soldiers fight against each other.

"Sousa! Rogers! You two are gonna need these!" Dugan and Jones toss them their shields. They say their thanks and run after Schmidt.

"You go that way, I'll head in the other direction." Steve grumbles but agrees. Daniel takes the hall where Schmidt ran, and Rogers takes the one filled with soldiers.

"We're in! Assault team, go!" Morita shouts over the radio.

Colonel Philips gets the message and he, Agent Carter, and the rest of the SSR soldiers and Agents run into battle. The Commandos take the hall Rogers did and they all fight them off, one kill at a time. As the Allies move out into the field, Peggy runs along with them; trying to keep herself together. Shes shocked to see the advancements in Hydras weaponry. With each shot fired, a blue light hits a soldier, and they obliterate into nothing. She tries to stay focused and not get hit.They make there way into the Bunker by exploding the door. The Red Skull takes a gun from a dead soldier and starts to fire as he runs away.

"Cut off one head two more shall-" A soldier begins to say, but Philips kills him.

"Lets go find two more." He says as he and his army march deeper into the base.

Sousa continues to chase after the Red Skull and uses his shield to protect himself from the gun blasts. He tosses it against that wall and it stops as the door starts to close; it keeps it held open. As a soldier advances him and uses the flame thrower that encircled Rogers, he hides behind a wall. More shots are fired and Agent Carter kills him.

"Don't touch my man." She mumbles. Daniel looks at her and smiles.

"Peg!" He runs to her and lightly touches her stomach.

"We're fine. I promise." He nods his head and looks behind her, the others are still fighting.

"You're late, you know." Daniel says, she looks into his eyes and smiles.

"Sorry. Things got a little out of hand." He touches her belly once more and then Rogers shows up. He looks between them and notices Sousa's hand.

"What the hell?" He says. Peggy glares at him and looks at Daniel, placing her hand over his.

"Weren't you getting ready to..." She gestures to the door.

"Right!" And he runs after Schmidt, Rogers follows him. SSR Soldiers shoot down the Hydra agents that were trying to board the airplane after the Red Skull. He places the tesseract in a secure box, sits in the pilot seat, and gets ready to take off. As the turbines start, and the engine goes, the Valkyrie starts to wheel out of the hanger. Sousa and Rogers chase after it, buts its no use.

"Now what?" Rogers says, looking around for another option; but that option drives up too them.

"Get in" Philips orders. He and Carter stole Schmidt's car. Daniel stands in the back with Peggy and Rogers gets in the front. Philips hits the accelerator button and the car takes off at full speed. They stand up and get ready to jump.

"Wait!" They both look down at Peggy. She reaches up, grabs Daniel by the head, and snogs him. "Go get him." Steve can't believe what he just saw...They both turn to the Colonel.

"I'm not kissing either of you!" Daniel looks at Peggy again.

"Yes ma'am," He replies, and they jump. When they get on board and sneak on the ship, they notice the bombs on board labeled New York. They stop when they hear footsteps and run into Hydra operatives. Rogers jumps up onto the railing and kicks one of them, and Sousa takes his shield and jabs another in the throat. They continue to fight until 2 operatives try to board the small aircraft with the bombs. Sousa gets in one while Rogers jumps on it. He kills the two pilots and Rogers makes his way onto the Valkyrie again.

"Rogers! " Sousa radios.

"Go back to base! I got this!" He cuts it off and fights the Red Skull. Daniel debates on helping, but decides against it; he won't get himself killed and leave Peggy alone with the baby. To him hes done his part, now its up to Rogers not to screw it up. He lands back onto the hanger and runs to Peggy.

"Daniel?!" She runs to him and they meet in the middle. "What happened? Why are you-" He cuts her off and presses his lips to hers.

"I've done my part, Peg. We both have." He holds her close, with one hand on the baby. She laughs and holds him tight.

"Sousa! Wheres Rogers?" Colonel Philips interrupts. He knows about their relationship, and about the baby, but he always kept it to himself; he didn't think it was worth the trouble of saying anything.

"He's still on the plane, sir. He's with Schmidt as we speak."

"Good, lets head back to the station and wait for him to radio back with Intel. Hopefully it doesn't all go to shit." Peggy laughs and nods as they walk there. When they reach the command room Daniel sits down in a chair, and Peggy sits on his lap. While the other commandos are present in the room, the two love birds don't care. Everyone of them is aware they have something going on, and they've never questioned it; the only one who did was Steve Rogers. Peggy leans over and kisses him.

"You came back to us..." Daniel wraps his left arm around her waist and hold her, while his right holds her stomach.

"Did you ever doubt I would?" She bites her lips to hide her smile; but it doesn't work.

"Never." They snog again, but this time it isn't rushed by the need to stop a psychotic mad man from destroying America with his airplane. Instead they enjoy this small moment. Theres a commotion outside and the Commandos leave the room to fight off and apprehend more Hydra soldiers.

"Come in. This is Captain Rogers. Do you read me?" Steve finally reached the radio.

"Steve? Where are you?" Sousa says over the intercom. Peggy shoves his shoulder and glares at him.

"Let someone else handle him." She whispers.

"Sousa. Schmidt's dead. He grabbed the tesseract and...He vanished into space."

"What?" Peggy looks at Daniel and takes over. "What about the plane?" She asks him

"Peggy..." She grumbles and groans when he says her name. Daniel holds her tight to calm her down. "Thats a little bit tougher to explain." She rolls her eyes.

"Give us your coordinates and we'll find you a landing site." Daniel keeps his left arm on Peggy's waist while he looks through the maps.

"Theres not gonna be a safe landing." Daniel curses under his breath. "But I can try and force it down." Peggy looks at Daniel as if asking for help. He mumbles the word Stark. She nods her head and radios back.

"We'll get Howard on the line, he'll know what to do. He can help get it down."

"Theres not enough time. This things moving to fast and its heading straight for New York."

"Hes right. There are bombs on the plane, all labeled New York."

"I gotta put her in the water..." Steve says.

"Rogers are you sure theres nowhere around you where you can land? Maybe try getting out of there in the bombs. You could -"

"Wheres Peggy? I thought I was talking to her." She groans and takes the mic.

"Rogers-

"Peggy! Thank god." She mumbles under her breath. 'I swear I'm going to kill him one day' Daniel hears and chuckles.

"I need you to know that this is my choice." 'Obviously.' she mumbles. "And that I'm gonna need a rain check on that dance..."

"What?" Peggy says, and Daniel looks at the mic.

"I know that you have a thing for Sousa... but maybe we can-" She cuts off the radio.

"Peggy. What-" She stops Daniel from speaking and kisses him.

"I don't 'have a thing' for you, Daniel. I love you." They continue to snog in the chair until Philips enters the room again.

"What in the hell is going on in here?" They explain that Rogers had to put down the plane and he couldn't get out in time to survive. He shakes his head and walks off, the only words the could hear are' dumb ass' , 'rogers', and 'damn Nazis'.

"I love you too, Peg."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several days go by, and not a word from Steve Rogers. Everyone in the SSR believed he was dead; and so did his comrades. The Commandos mourned him and Barnes at the Stork club, nursing their beers and bellowing their songs. The War wasn't over yet, but the enormous battle of Hydra was nearly won. There were still a few rats loose on the world from this gang of Schmidt followers; but the SSR was going to catch or kill every last one of them; including Agent Carter and Captain Sousa. Although Peggy Carter won't be able to fight for too much longer, she and her Captain will have another fight on their hands; a fight with a small being with both of their genetics.

Together they go to the Stork club, not to mourn like they others, but to celebrate. Celebrate a long battle one, and for the family they are starting. Howard Stark presented the young lovers with state of the art bassinet and crib, each equipped with an alarm to alert the two of them if anything is ever wrong with the baby. At first they were hesitant, but Daniel saw the benefits of it if the baby inherits the serum. Philips said he would vow for them and they can work as long as the want, but when the little one is born, one must go.

They dance and dance throughout the night, and although Peggy can't drink a real drink and Daniel can, he doesn't. Instead they enjoy their time together, talking and laughing and dancing. Around and Around he spins her, only for her to return to him. Her belly shows much more in her dress, but she doesn't care. She will build a life with the love of her life, and she couldn't be more happy about it. All of the Commandos said their congratulations, and begged to see the baby when its born; of course they two lovers agrees. The Howling Commandos are family. But tonight that family consist of only the three.

The Soldier and the Agent dancing and smiling all the while ignorant to the world around them. Her hand is in his while the other wraps around his neck, and his lays softly around her waist. They sway to the slow music surrounding them, bliss in this moment. What they are not aware of is the figure looming outside, watching their every move; his eyes staring at her growing stomach. And yet thats how they stay, until Peggy's legs get tired. Shes starts to walk away, but he grabs her hand and stops her. She turns to look at him, and finds him down on one knee...

"Peg." She gasps, and the entire room goes quiet; their fellow comrades watch intensely, waiting. Even Colonel Philips watches without making a sound. "So I know we've kind of done this backwards," She laughs, "But I don't care. From the moment I saw you on that field, radiating beauty, and then knock Hodge on his ass, I knew you were the one for me." She covers her mouth and wipes away her tears. "You have been...and idol rock for me and a nonstop supporter. No matter how many obstacles I faced, you were always there to talk me though it or to help me get there. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you, Peggy. I love you with every fiber of my being. So..." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a velvet box.

"Oh my God..." She says as she takes a deep breath.

"Margaret Elizabeth, Peggy, Carter. Will you do me the honor of spending the rest of your life with me as my wife?" She continues to cry happy tears and laughs. "Will you marry me, Peggy?"

For several moments the room is completely silent, no one makes a sound; not even the band. Everyone is waiting for her to answer. She gets down on her knees and kisses him with all her might.

"Yes!" And they kiss again.

"YEAH!!!" The Commandos all scream and clap. Although the Colonel doesn't shout, he does smile and clap his hands. Daniel lifts Peggy off the ground and and carries her out of the club. As they leave the Commandos all congratulate them and order more drinks to celebrate. Although this night was seemingly perfect for them, they were not aware the man was still watching from afar. He follows them to their hotel room and waits.

"How long were you planning on this!?" She asks, only brifly taking her lips from his.

"Maybe... a few weeks before you told me you were pregnant..?"

"Daniel!" He lays her down on the bad and sits next to her. "You've been waiting THAT long!?"H e laughs.

"I'm sorry. I just...wanted to wait for the right time." They stare into each others eyes as she sits up. They lean forward and snog until they are out of breath; only stopping for air and then returning to their love. For minutes they are in paradise, enjoying the time they have alone....until the door is kicked down.They jump out of bed and see a dead man.

"Rogers? How the hell-" Steve Punches Daniel in the face, and he falls back.

"Daniel!" SHe runs to him and looks at Steve. "How the HELL did you survive?"

"Doesn't matter. I just did. I came back for you. For our dance."

"Our Dance!?" She fumes. "What bloody dance? I told you I was never interested. The kiss with Daniel should have been a big enough hint for you to stop pursuing... WHATEVER its was you were pursing!"

"Move out of the way, Peggy." She steps in more and shields Daniel.

"NO" She stands her ground. He walks toward them and shoves her aside.

"Peg!" Daniel punches Steve in the gut and knocks the wind from his lungs. "Haven't you learned by now I'm stronger than you, Rogers?" As he holds his gut and Daniel uppercuts his jaw, and then he falls down. Daniel catches his breath and looks over at his fiance. "Peggy..." He runs to the bed and helps her sit up.

"I-I'm okay...We're fine.." She keeps a hand on her belly and looks at Rogers, who starts to stand up.

"Are you out of your Damn mind! Who in their right mind would shove a pregnant woman?" Daniel shouts, his hand lays over hers to protect the baby.

"What?" Steve looks down and finally notices. He balls his fist and charges at Daniel. "That should be my kid... You took her from me!" Peggy reaches over into her bag and grabs her gun, then BANG! Steve backs away, shocked. She shoots again and again, until the chamber is emptied.

“I was never yours to begin with you sickly obsessed bastard.” He stands there, holds his chest, and falls to the ground. "Enjoy your trip in hell." Daniel wraps his arm around her and hold her tight, the need to protect her and the baby overwhelms him.

"You okay?" He finally asks.

"Of course I am. I'm Peggy Carter" she cheeks, and he laughs. "Soon to be Peggy Sousa..." He stops breathing for a moment as the thought settles in his mind. She laughs at his pause and kisses him gently. "I can handle anything, Daniel. Especially with you by my side." They smile at each other and hold one another close.

Eventually Colonel Philips and the SSR are called. They inform them of Steve Rogers demise. He didn't die in the Valkyrie crash, but he did die by Agent Carters hand. He had become violent, erratic, obsessive, he harmed her and tried to kill Captain Sousa; the love of her life and the father of her child. The serum was meant to amplify everything in the human body, the good and the bad. It seemed Steve Rogers was more bad than good. For the rest of the night the SSR worked on taking care of Rogers body, and the two lovers from war set out to enjoy the little family they had started.

#peggysous #peggy carter #daniel sousa #Peggy x Daniel #catfa #anti steggy #anti steve rogers #sousa x carter #au fanfic #fanfiction

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somarysueme · 5 years ago

Text

WicDiv Thoughts, some overly personal

stiiiiiillllll can’t really put together my feelings about the end and epilogue. I will say that I liked the ending and epilogue more than I expected to*, and the longer I sit on it, I find more things to like about it.

(* Except for everything about Baal and Mini)

That said, there’s still that huge, unpleasant gap between what I wanted/expected this comic was supposed to be, and what it actually intended/was. I wrote this post after 43 (the “everyone does the thing” chapter), using bits of a half-written reaction to 39 ("Laura did the thing” chapter) to talk about that gap. I decided to sit on it til everything was said and done Just In Case, but I mostly still agree with what I’d written.

So Here Are My Thoughts

The full pantheon abdicating! This is basically where I expected us to go. Since 39 it seems like the natural place for the story to be headed. Laura’s revelations, along with the Daddy Forgive Us special made it clear that the only way out of the game was not to play it. I was kinda luke warm on that concept, but it made sense for where the story was at that point. I was waiting to see how it actually played out before getting fussy about it.

I give him a C for execution here. Maybe a C+.

I thought Dio’s moment was great. Jon’s was beautiful. Inanna’s I definitely could have gotten behind if he’d actually gotten to have any of that arc on the page instead of getting put on a bus 30 chapters ago.

The rest range from “meh” to “yikes.”

I could have liked this, I wanted to like this. Given how much “OKAY” has been miles more thoughtful than Mothering Invention, I was genuinely hoping to like this. I would have loved to see these kids find something more important than godhood to live for. But that’s not what we got.

We did get them realizing that being a god is not worth dying for. Which is good! And essential! And basically the central conceit of this comic!

But.

But...

I really wanted to see our cast value their lives period. And while there was some of that, there was far more of seeing them be humbled. We saw them beaten down until they had no choice but to admit they Were Not Special (or at least, were not as special as they thought). I was hoping for them to find a capacity to value their lives because their lives have value whether or not they are special, but instead it was a story about being humbled, and I guess to me, I just can’t see that what young queer artists need is help being humbled. They need help being valued as people, they need the internal presence of self to command that value be respected, and they need the external support to give them a fighting chance at that. And not to be That Fan, but that fighting chance doesn’t come from individual actions. It comes from worker solidarity and respect for labor as labor. It just doesn’t work for me to have a series around the exploitation and consumption of young talent and leave anything material about money and labor practices out of the material.

(McKelvie’s My (6000 F) pantheon has unionized joke, but unironically.)

Anyway this comic was all about Don’t Let This Happen To You. And that’s a good start, but I was hoping for it to be so much more than that. It could be that this is me looking at WicDiv and wanting it to say something broader about specialness and creativity and mental illness and exploitation.

(There’s a lot to be unpacked wrt presenting itself as a story about the whole world through all of human history, while also intending to be psuedoautobiographical for a very specific set of circumstances. But that’s not this post.)

It’s weird because like, Fandemonium already delivered masterfully on Laura learning to value herself outside of godhood. Laura’s last pre-apoptheosis soliloquy about “I can’t save any of them, but I can still help them” was one of those wham moments that really cemented this book’s place in my heart. Living through Fandemonium and realizing that the gods were people, and needed actual love and support from people who cared about them as people, and that just being a decent friend is something worth living for, fuck!! That’s good shit!! That’s fucking excellent!!

And for the rest of WicDiv’s run, I was always waiting for the story to get back to that place, but it never really did.

(ETA AFTER 45 IS OUT: ok fine I fucking love that Laura saved Luci. Big Gay Hero Girl drags naughty non-devil out of hell and they kiss, fucking A+. But “can’t save but CAN help” is still something I wish the comic had followed up on more. The friendship thing got touched on a little bit too, but never in a way I found as satisfying as Fandemonium.)

So anyway Luci going Full Diva. Her future is this and her future is nothing.

The longer I chew on it, the more I like it, and the more it seems like the inevitable place for Elanor Rigby’s story to go. It’s a good continuation from where we last saw her have any scrap of agency, but also frustrating in that “the lat time we saw her have any scrap of agency” was basically the entire comic ago. It was jarring to have her go from [One Sassy Line Per Issue] to [Maybe I’m The Final Boss]. Her story suffered deeply suffered from all the time she spent off screen. But despite all that, I’m very much really looking forward to whatever the fuck Laura Wilson’s going to do about this.

I’m trying not to get my hopes up for Talk Her Down ending. It seems perfectly in line with this series to end with the moral of “sometimes, no matter how kind or brave or caring you are, people you love pick their addictions over living.” That’s a song I’ve already heard live and in person, and I don’t really want or need to hear anyone else’s studio cover.

Uh final thought on 43 is.... Minanke DOES seem to count herself as part of the 12, which still lines up with my Emily Was Also A Fake God theory (Fauxmaterasu theory? Nokami hypothesis? Amaterasuspicion?) but it does seem unlikely to actually be a Thing between now and the epilogue. shrug.

(ETA AGAIN: I had to write out my feelings on 39 and Laura’s own abdication (unpotheosis?) to properly respond to 43. So here’s a draft of another unpublished post that I fleshed out.)

I have extremely mixed feelings about chapter 39.

First Feeling: thank fuck the pregnancy plot is over.

Second feeling: establishing abdication as an option established a nice overarching shape to this book. Things have felt directionless for many chapters, but this does make it seem like we are back on some kind of track.

Third Feeling: kinda liking abdication as a general direction for endgame. For most of the series, I was hoping the whole that there actually was Something Important about the recurrence, but since it's clear now that it’s basically all lies, I like this this angle well enough.

Strongest Feeling: hell fucking yes to Laura’s shaved head.

(Tangential Feeling: buzzing your own head is good and you should think about doing it. Doing it for catharsis in a moment of crisis is A-OK, but I did it once just because I felt like it and it was fucking great. banishing your high maintenance hair does not cure depression, but it does give you back an hour of personal upkeep every day and the fuzzy head is wonderful to touch.)

Contrary to most of the fandom, though, I absolutely loathed Laura’s monologue here, and the context that it puts around her not-choice. There’s a lot of shitty Hot Takes out there about how mental illness and addition and creation intersect. A lot of people will suggest that being unhealthy makes you a better artist, and what’s more that being a better artist is worth being unhealthy. This series is unambiguously and steadfastly against that message, which is one of the absolute best and most important things about it! I don’t want to diminish that.

But that all said, seeing Laura alone in the dark describing “an addicts moment of clarity” was... jesus it was all kinds of personally painful and upsetting. It hurt real bad, and not in the way I though I had agreed to be hurt. And I’m not sure how to spell out why.

I have thousands and thousands of words on why it struck such a sour cord in me, but a lions share can be summed up with “fuck absolutely every story where a Troubled Girl just needed to get traumatized/humiliated/humbled enough to Realize How Bad She Was Being.” Double fuck this one in particular for showing the girl getting over addiction/mental illness by literally sitting alone in the dark thinking about how much she fucked up. That story is tired, and cruel, and dangerous, and thank Christ I encountered this comic at 30 and not 19 because I would have swallowed it down with all the other poison that Helpful Adults fed me.

But yeah though, her shaved look is fucking adorable as shit. Neither she nor Britany made any hair mistakes.

ETA ULTIMATE: That last bit is the one thing in this post I don’t quite still stand by. By the end, it’s clear that the above wasn’t at all the story this book was trying to tell at all. I thought WicDiv was trying to tell some Epic Truths, Hard-Facts-About-Human-Nature shit. But despite the sweeping setup (All Across The World and Through All Of History) the book was using a complex allegory for a very specific situation (Selling Your Soul and Name and Life To Creative-Industrial Machines), and that made it muddy.

(Insert Principal Skinner meme here “Am I out of touch? Was I simply interrogating the text from the wrong perspective? No, it’s the original creators who are wrong!”)

I’m from a family of mentally ill, addiction-prone, recovering-Catholic artists. Laura is in my blood. Half the people I love are Laura. I have Laura’s painting on my wall and her books on my shelf. I’ve sat with Laura’s mother a few years after Laura’s death, as her father now slowly dying in the next room, and listened to her music for the first time. (It was good. It was really good. And I never even knew.)

These experiences colored my read, but how could they not?

I do now, I think, understand what Gillen was trying to say- the addiction he was talking about was to stardom, the attention and accolades, and free pass to make your own shit be everyone else’s problem. I understand now that the “art” that the gods made was always supposed to be Not Real Art, that there was no true “message” from their songs- all noise, no signal. It was never about Laura’s art, or even Laura as an artist. And that was unpleasant to reconcile.

Because when you're Laura, or Elanor, or any of them, life doesn’t have to grant your ill-advised wish before it fucks your head and kills you. Sometimes you fight as hard as you can with every fiber of your being and you’re still in Hell. Sometimes you’re doing all the Meetings and self-reflection and therapy you can manage and you’re still a Destroyer. But the shit you create while you’re down there is worthy of creating. What you do with your too-short, too-fucked time matters. A fucked up life was still worth living because it was your life to live. And... I guess, from the story presented in Faust Act and Fandemonium, I sort of thought that this was what WicDiv was supposed to be talking about. I thought it was going to be about doing something good even when life is fucking you. But instead it is a cautionary tale that that suggests you could have stopped getting fucked at any time if you had just gotten over yourself and said the magic words.

We spent half the comic watching Laura drag herself through the mud. Half the comic was focused on Her Mistakes, when so little of her circumstances were actually her fault. “Punish Ophelia until she gets over herself” is not at all what WicDiv meant to be about. I imagine the creators would be aghast to hear that’s what I got out of it. But the text is what the text is. While it is intended (and successful!) at being many other very good things, this one really bad thing is still part of that mix, and that sucks.

Maybe I should have picked up on the discrepancy between my read and the intent sooner. Probably I should have just done myself a favor and stop reading once I did.

2016, 2017 while my life was going a bit to shit, this comic was exactly what I needed. Being in the fandom made my life better and helped me meet cool new friends and get through some of the hardest shit to happen to me since I was a kid. Then in 2018, it slid into source of frustration and soured promise. Now at the end I have no idea if I liked it or not.

But that’s fine, now that it’s done. The ink is dry, the ritual is over. It’s just a comic book now. Some pictures I still love and some words I don’t always agree with. A lot of noise, arguable amounts of signal, but not a song I want to play on loop anymore.

I have no real conclusion to draw here. I respect at how firmly WicDiv rejects dark and unhealthy parts of being a professional creator- especially unhealthy things that are generally just accepted as Common Wisdom. I don’t think it took enough care in spelling out what it was rejecting, though, and I do think it was remiss in not finding good healthy things to embrace as an alternative.

All of the above notwithstanding, I have to give it credit for delivering almost exactly what I wanted in terms of lesbian nonsense. That ain’t nothing.

I give this series ?????/∞ and am happy to be safely clear of Kieron Gillen’s Wild Ride

#wicdiv #wicdiv spoilers #somewhat negative #its a mixed bag tbh

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