#last year i had a sandwich and this year i just had noodles... just need onigiri and a parfait and I've eaten all the girls faves

[kirakirabug]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUI 💖‼️

I rewatched the Depapre movie last year for her birthday so I did it again this year and guess what. It's still peak. Cried. Love it. 10/10 it's the best Precure movie.

[cybunii]

HIDE AND SEEK

“Let's play a little game and have fun”

a/n: so glad this is finally finished >< I do have a part two planned but I have NO idea when that would come out. this is the longest thing i have written so far- pairing: Leon Kennedy x GN! Reader tw: stalking, dub/non-con, slight mentions of somnophilia, intercrural sex/thigh fucking, gaslighting, murder and drugging, Leon is a prick :3, obsessive and manipulative behavior, possible kidnapping, etc.

-

It was safe.

You lived in a relatively small town, and never seeing any reports of kidnapping or murders on your TV made life easy to live. The worst things to happen were food shortages because of the slow drivers, or maybe the power going out because of the awful storms. 

You never had to worry about anything. You worked at the little grocery store on the corner, going between the deli and the floral department when needed. After working there for years, you knew everyone who lived there, eventually knowing their names and where they lived. You had made it a point to talk to everyone you saw, wanting them to feel welcome and seen, it was just a small habit you picked up.

It wasn't the most exciting job in the world, but it was nice to be able to pay rent and have a routine. The days when partners would come in gushing about who they were buying flowers for were your favorite, let it be birthdays, holidays, or just a random event. It made your day, and you weren't even the one receiving the flowers. 

It seemed like you were the outcast in the town, not because no one liked you, but because you didn't have kids or a partner. It didn't bother you about the kids, you were never too fond of having them. Cute, but not for you. The partner subject was a harder thing to explain, you were used to living and being alone so it didn't bother you much. 

You always thought of that as you made the arrangements, the feeling of someone putting their heart into making something so special for you.

This puts you to right now, placing together an arrangement while Mrs. Green talks about her grandkids. You often wondered if she actually liked them with how much she complained about them. They were bad kids though, and got into trouble every week.

“…And of course Parker has to follow in Taylor’s footsteps and tear up the place, knocking over my expensive vase- the one you got me for my birthday-” She explains, covering her mouth as she realizes what she said. “Oh dear, I’m so sorry…” 

You shake your head and put on your best fake smile, holding up a hand to ease her worries. 

“It’s quite alright Mrs. Green, you know how kids are.” You shrug, but internally your wallet dies. You hunted for that vase for hours, finally getting one on sale for roughly $260. Damn those kids. 

She wraps up the conversation maybe a few minutes later, rattling off some reason about cooking her famous chicken again. 

You lived next to her and smelled whatever she cooked while you had your windows open, if the smells were any indication, she was a damn good cook. 

I mean anything smelled good to you. You weren’t a 5-star chef or anything, but you could cook decent meals. Better than the college route of sandwiches and noodles. Those were the days.

-

It doesn’t take long for the day to end, only having a few people working in the store meant shorter closing hours, and getting to go home earlier than most was a perk. You walk out after closing up, locking the door, and practically crashing into Mr. West, basically the head of the events committee for this town. 

“Woah! Be careful there sweetheart.” He said, chuckling like he wasn’t the reason of you almost falling on him. 

“Sorry, what’s up?” You asked, actually interested this time. The last time he planned something, the entire town showed up, it was one of the most exciting things to happen in this town in a while. 

“Well, I came to formally invite you to the little get-together I’ve been planning for the new neighbor, I want to help make them feel welcomed here.” He grins, clasping his hands together as he talks, I guess that makes sense, everyone here knows each other so a new person joining may feel out of place, almost like a new kid joining a new school. Possibly horrifying to experience. 

“A new person? Where at?” You ask, not seeing any empty buildings near your house. Then again it had been a while since you last looked, and the Gold family has been strangely absent. 

“Right on the corner, lil white house with the blue shutters?” 

You nod in acknowledgment, suddenly knowing where that one is and frowning at the fact. 

That house has been abandoned for years, I mean long before you even moved into your little place. The blue didn’t look as vibrant and the white was a sad and dirty grey. 

The inside of the house is just as run down as the outside was. Broken furniture litters the house, most have fallen from their resting places and piled up on each other. The walls are cracked and the floor is covered in dirt and grass that have grown inside the house. 

“Ah, yeah. That one…”

Mr. West nods, almost uncaring about the state of the house. “Yup, been meaning to sell that house for ages. Nice to see some new meat round here.”

“Guess so, but I’ll be glad to take you up on that offer. What’s the details for it?” You ask, taking out your phone. 

He practically swats your phone away, shaking his head in disappointment. “Ah don’t worry about that old thing, I got letters to send out, you’ll see it when it arrives!” He bids his goodbyes and quickly walks off down the sidewalk, assuming he’s knocking on the door of your neighbors next. 

On your journey back home, you take an extra second to look at the house, it being the same way you remembered it. You thought they’d at least try and clean it up, but maybe the person isn’t here yet. The mailbox at least looked new, a nice shiny baby blue color, the black numbers on the side reading “205.” 

If first impressions mean anything, the entrance having some pop to it makes it easier on the eyes and matches the house too. 

But something about the house seems off. You can't put your finger on it, but something feels...wrong about it. 

But maybe that's just the strange aura the abandoned house brings. You continue the trek to your house, thinking about the invitation that the city council member gave you previously before reaching your street. The quiet road is mostly void of any human activity, with the occasional leaf floating down on the wind and the birds fluttering through the air.

Having no information on it so far makes it hard to plan anything out, especially if the letter gets sent too late. 

-

You stop in your tracks at the small glimpse of color resting on your doormat, squinting your eyes at it and deciding it’s too far away to actually tell what it is. 

You make small strides to your front porch, your pepper spray in hand when you pause, almost laughing at the fact that you almost pepper sprayed a bouquet of flowers. You frown and pick it up, the display of flowers similarly close to the arrangement you made earlier that day. 

You suspiciously inspect it with squinted eyes, turning it around before finding the note secured by a ribbon that’s wrapped around the middle. 

“Thought you deserved these more. <3” 

That’s nothing short of weird. 

Not only did the note have some sort of…stain on it, the handwriting is damn near illegible, barely being able to read the poorly attempted cursive on the small note. 

You don’t even know who sent these but it already seems annoying. No return address and no name means there’s someone too shy to approach you, a loser in your eyes. Could be a cute loser, those are fun. 

You shrug it off and walk in your house, flowers in hand as you place them on the kitchen counter, scouring your cabinets for a vase that’s suitable for them. You know it’s your work, just strange on how it ended up back in your hands. You grab the glass from under the cabinet, putting fresh water in it as you trim the bottom of the stems, carefully setting them in the vase on the counter. You’d have to pick up flower food later, but you can always do that tomorrow, not like you don’t already have a shift at the grocery store in the morning.

It’s a weird, possibly fucked up scenario, but It’s almost sweet in a way. Maybe in a school girl way, with your crush or secret admirers sticking notes or love letters in the slots of your locker. Grinning as you show your friends, the ecstatic look on their faces as they encourage you to go over to them, to thank them or ask them out on a date. 

You’ll have to think of consequences later. 

But now? You’ll happily sip your drink and stare at the flowers, daydreaming about who could possibly be your secret admirer.

-

The next day at work is just as boring, but this time your manager Beck did assign someone to your department, so now you’ll only have flowers today. She is in the office today, and you being her favorite employee, she often hangs around, picking up scraps and putting together some of the orders. 

“You hear about the new guy?” She asked, lazily throwing together another order of red roses. 

New guy huh? Guess Mr. West didn’t mention who the new neighbor could be. 

“Somewhat, already got an invite to that huge gathering West is planning.” 

She scoffs, rolling her eyes at the mention of both the gathering and West. They were together at some point, could be rumors, but you can’t deny seeing her knuckles turn white on occasion as she clenches her fists together. Just hearing about him must make her angry. 

“I heard. Can’t wait for that.” 

“It won’t be so bad, maybe it’ll be nice to get the town together again. Especially for the all-famous new guy.” You offer with a shrug, knowing you could care less about all of it. 

It’s not like you hated the poor guy right off the bat, but with every conversation being centered around him? It makes him seem like the next Jesus Christ. With even you knowing about him, the entire town is probably waiting for his arrival. And you know these people, already have assumptions based on his name, of which you don’t even know. You’d almost feel bad if you didn’t already have your own assumptions. 

 He better live up to the hype, or these people will eat him alive. 

“…you know, I actually saw him when he was touring the house,” Beck says with a grin, and you already know the look on her face. She’s a romantic at heart, can’t really blame her. 

“Oh yeah, panty-dropping?” 

She laughs and rolls her eyes, but you know it’s true. She’s attractive, but her college days will never leave her. You cannot forget the drunken stories she’s rambled to you about them practically lining up outside her dorm, and honestly? Good for her. 

Only action you get is from whatever you watch on television, or recently that weird-ass admirer situation. You keep your mouth shut about that, not that you don’t trust her, but she’ll make it a much bigger thing than you need right now. The last thing you need is more attention for this weird display of affection. 

“Well, he’s kinda tall, intimidating but has a cute baby face- Oh! And the most gorgeous blue eyes I’ve ever seen.” She smiles, practically glowing red. 

“Sounds boring, there’s like a million of those already.” You shrug, crossing your arms after putting down the completed order. 

“This one is different! There’s something about his eyes, he’s mysterious.” She nods, a mischievous expression on her face. 

“Right, I’ll see for myself whenever this party happens.”

Beck waves you off with her hand and goes into the break room, maybe to smoke again, it has been a while since her last break. 

It’s been a while since your break as well, and no one is near the counter, and you’ve finished all your orders for today. What harm could a break do? You follow in her footsteps and walk back to your locker, opening it and sifting through your bag. After a few moments you forget what you’re looking for, but the lack of your lighter makes you pause. 

Very small thing, but still noticeable. You step outside and eye Beck up and down with a suspicious look, squinting your eyes at her. 

“What?” She asks, blowing out the smoke. 

“Did you grab my lighter? It’s gone.” 

She raises an eyebrow and shakes her head, pulling out her bright yellow lighter. “Nope, got mine right here. Anyone else smoke?” 

“Nah, just us. Damn, I liked that one.” You feel your pockets one last time and lean against the wall, now having to buy yet another lighter. 

“How do you keep losing yours?” She laughs at you, and you shrug, not like you have any idea. You have a good memory but misplace the small things, you think it’s only natural. 

“No clue, maybe I’m being haunted.” 

The woman laughs again and shakes her head. "Haunted by who? A ghost with something to gain from you? I heard that is an incredibly rare phenomenon."

It doesn't seem crazy, in fact, the idea feels...plausible. The spirits that haunt this area are mostly vengeful, but that still doesn't explain why they would send you things. What would a vengeful spirit have to gain from giving you gifts?

“Yknow, I’ve got this other guy, names L? Supposedly runs a business catching ghosts, people eat that shit up. He’s basically swimming in money.” She nods with a serious look, pointing her finger at you. 

And? Yeah okay- Sometimes you can’t tell if she’s actually serious or just fucking with you. 

You don’t offer up a reply, instead staring at her with a disappointed look. She shrugs in response, taking a drag off her cigarette. 

She continues smoking, blowing out a puff of grey smoke that wafts up and drifts away in the wind. It has a pleasant smell, the scent of flowers and honey-like fruits. It is soothing. The woman's expression remains as nonchalant as it was previously.

“Might head in, heard someone at the counter.” It’s cutting your break a few minutes short, but not like you can do anything else. 

Have to add that to your list of things to do later. 

Care about the consequences of keeping the flowers, buy a new lighter, and use your break time wisely. 

You make a mental note of those three things. The rest of your shift goes as smoothly as expected, though you have a nagging feeling that there is something off about the house you saw earlier. That feeling, mixed with the strange gifts and Beck's strange comment has your mind racing. 

-

That night you had to close late, the customers obviously not understanding closing hours. You get people need food, but they could’ve cleared their schedules or something- Maybe even get there the next morning when you first open. Beck couldn’t close because her cat sitter said he got sick, so she had to rush home and get him to the vet- which is unfortunately hours away.

You make your rounds through the store, jotting down the few things that need to be stocked in the morning. And also make sure no one is trying to stay overnight, kicking those people out is the worst. The last time someone had hidden in the break room, practically scaring the poor new girl to death, she didn’t stay long after that.

A small clang gets your attention, the sound only being noticed because of the dead silent- and hopefully empty store. 

Two things could happen here, either someone is here and fucking with something, or it’s an animal of some kind. 

You don’t want to deal with either. 

You unhook the pepper spray from off your belt, gripping it in your hands like it may fall, almost like a greedy spoiled kid with anything. Unable to let go, and won’t without a good reason. 

Your reason? 

Nothing being here. 

You stalk around the corner with quiet steps, frowning when you hear the small taps of your shoes as they carefully touch the ground when you walk. Damn these shoes and this slick ass floor. You’re hyper-focused on any noise that your ears can pick up, but of course your brain has to imagine hearing footsteps all around you. Another clang has you looking towards the break room, now registering the sound as the locker opening and closing. Walking towards the sound makes your heart race, the loud thumping beats filling your head as you take more and more steps towards the room. 

Rushing around the corner has you panting and hyperventilating, aiming your pepper spray at the lockers - seeing a masked figure quickly slip out the back door, completely dressed in black. 

You run after them, knocking the door open and running into the parking lot. After a quick and very thorough search, it was like they disappeared. There’s no one walking or anything, only the sound of the wind filling your ears. 

A quick walk back to the break room and you’re searching the lockers, praying that they didn’t steal or break anything. Everything is perfectly fine, until you step towards your locker. Nothing seems out of place, but your gut tells you something is in there, something’s wrong. 

You take a deep breath and swing the locker open, squeezing your eyes shut so hard you start seeing shapes. Nothing popping out at you has you opening your eyes again, glancing down at your once empty locker with an expression of disbelief- and maybe a small hint of…disappointment?

It’s your lighter. A small note attached to it reading, “Sorry :(“

…

What?

You know it’s whoever gave you the flowers, I mean they find your house, your workplace, and locker, steal your stuff, and then return it?

You were barely angry about it, only annoyed, and that’s all it took for them to give it back to you? Especially in the weird way that they did. 

They had to be nearby to hear that conversation you had with Beck, whether outside or inside the store. But no one being there makes you pause.

It makes you wonder how long they’ve been watching you. 

The chill that runs down your spine and makes your entire body shiver makes you consider finally setting up those security cameras around your house. You may not be able to do it at the store, but damn this stalker being able to free-roam your own house. 

Makes you consider buying another weapon as well, pepper spray is temporary at this point, people can still fight with their eyes closed.

It being almost midnight puts a stop to enacting any of your plans, you'll just have to invest a pretty penny in the morning to get those cameras, then spend the entire afternoon planning out and placing the cameras around your house. 

Even if you are the only one to see the footage, the thought of having cameras watch you is almost creepy in a way. Like an instant goosebumps kind of feeling. Just gross, can't explain it. 

A quick walk back to your house has you calming down some, despite it being night, the street lights do good work to light up the streets, and hearing the small buzz come from them is soothing in a way. 

You stop by your mailbox first, your morning shift crossing with the path of the mailman's schedule. A glance through the letters and you stop at the bright pink one, immediately knowing it has the details of the gathering. 

Ripping the top off and skimming through the small writing makes you want to crumble the letter up in your hands, just tossing it out into the street. Of course, it's tomorrow, well technically today since it's well past midnight now. 

The only good part is that it's around five, which gives you time to sleep and prepare some weird side dish. It's much better than trying to pick out a gift for the random guy, that's a hair-pulling kind of stress that you definitely dont want to deal with right now, or ever. 

-

That night you actually managed to have a full night's rest, no randomly waking up or any nightmares to scare you half to death. The bright lights peaking through your blinds make you immediately cover your eyes, stretching your legs out and hearing the small pops. 

Sitting up makes you jolt a bit, and the sudden realization of something wet between your legs makes you groan. A quick look under the covers has your mind reeling, it's definitely not your period, and it's all over your thighs and underwear. 

You dont remember having a dream that good to literally come everywhere, let alone have it look like this. Tossing your clothes and sheets in the washing machine and taking a hot shower has you relaxing and not paying any attention to it. 

You have better things you need to worry about today. 

The letter only contained the dishes already being brought to the event, a small note at the bottom explaining to try and bring a dish everyone can eat. Could be easy enough, you could just go to the store and grab a fruit plate or something. Doesn’t take much time to get and is somewhat inexpensive. 

Plus-

Everyone knows this main event is not about the food. 

Around roughly 4:45, you pull up to an awfully crowded building. With most of the parking spaces being filled and people having to stand outside due to the inside being packed, you dont have high hopes for a stress-free night. 

These people are good people, and you get along with them just fine. But having to be at an introduction party is the worst. Having the same conversation over and over again isn't exactly your idea of fun.

And with how many people are here? 

You should practically have sorry on speed dial anytime you may bump into someone, I mean- god forbid you dont apologize for what they did. Of course, everything is fine, you might explode if someone elbows you again but it's all chill! Complaining and daydreaming have you slowly exiting your car, fruit plate in hand as you try to find the food table. 

A reunion. Always something to complain about, whether the food is too dry, the children are annoying, or the awkward moment when that one neighbor drinks too much and starts to talk about his latest conspiracy theories. 

A lot of families have those members you wish you didn't know. But, hey, that's the price you pay to be related to someone.

And two conversations later you finally set it down 20 minutes later. 

You glance up at the poorly taped banner on the wall, holding up a nice welcome greeting.

Leon, huh?

Puts a name to the face you haven't seen yet.

There's something ominous in the air about party's dedicated to a single individual. 

Maybe because everything is out of your control, with every person here dedicated to making the honored person the center of attention. 

Of course, that is exactly why he might enjoy their party. But for a newcomer, it feels like being thrown into a lion's pit, surrounded by a pride of unknown beasts.

In moments like these, you wish it was just a normal party, where the stakes were lower, and the random people and neighbors were your friends.

It's not that they're rude people. You're just more of an introvert, wishing you had some kind of anchor for yourself, a familiar face or a friendly voice.

Beck hasn’t even shown up yet, leaving you standing in the corner watching the others, sipping on a champagne that tastes like perfume. 

You push yourself off the wall and crash into someone, the champagne spilling all over your neck and outfit, the sounds of their apologies drowned out by your thoughts.

The smell of spilled champagne fills your nose, and the apologetic sounds from the stranger fills your ears. You are sure to apologize as well, as the liquid stains your clothes and spills onto the ground as well.

The stranger seems nice, though unfortunate that the two of you crashed into each other, and both of your outfits are now wet and sticky.

The stranger doesn't seem very upset or annoyed by your spilling your drink over them, and you apologize profusely.

A moment passes, and you lock eyes with this strange person. The two of you laugh, the embarrassment fading away as both of you realize that it was an unfortunate accident.

Both of your attention is focused on each other now. The two of you lock eyes, and you can't help but notice how attractive this stranger is. It’s not about his overall appearance or personality, it’s the eyes that are drawing you in. Like a siren call, they practically pull you in, drowning in a sea of the most beautiful blue shade you’ve ever seen. 

“What an awkward first impression, kinda ruined that. I’m Leon, by the way-“ 

He chuckles, extending his hand out and shaking yours with a firm grip, the feeling of rough and calloused palms against your own is almost calming in a way. 

“I’d stay and chat for a bit but I should get cleaned up…” You chuckle awkwardly, gesturing towards the champagne that nearly drenched you. 

“Ah, I am sorry again. I should’ve paid more attention.” Leon frowns, looking you up and down, almost analyzing the mess he made of you. 

A quick nod and you’re off to the bathroom, staring in the mirror as you dab your neck and chest with a damp paper towel. The odd but familiar scent of the towel fills your nose, almost like a wet stale cardboard smell. 

You toss them in the trash when you’re done, admiring your appearance in the mirror before stepping back out of the bathroom. As you step out of the bathroom, your eyes are quickly met by the stranger you met earlier. Leon seems to be making a quick beeline towards you, the two of you catching up after the awkward spill.

Leon eyes you with interest, his shy but flirty demeanor becoming increasingly obvious to you. “You clean up real nice.”

You feel your cheeks flush at his comment about you cleaning up nicely. It seems that your efforts paid off after all. You didn’t dress up for him, let alone dress to impress. But god do those words make you happy. 

You smile at him, unsure of what to say next. He seems a bit flirtatious, which is certainly intriguing.

You can't help but feel your heart pounding like it never has before. The two of you lock eyes for a moment, and your breathing grows shallow as you take him in fully. 

He stands a bit taller than you are, his dirty blonde hair framing his face just right. The way that he stands gives you a sense of security, and his expression is one that speaks volumes. The lights reflected off his soft features, almost making him glow. Maybe Beck was right, he may be average, but there’s something else there. 

There is something intriguing about him, something that attracts your attention, almost begging you to investigate more. While he might be average-looking, his presence is anything but, and you are sure to discover what hides below the surface of those gorgeous eyes.

You find yourself caught in conversation with Leon for so long, that the moments start to slip away as you talk away the night. The feeling of being energized is almost invigorating, as the two of you laugh and enjoy each other's company. It's hard to imagine that only the champagne is causing the buzzing feeling in your body, it is certainly more than just that. 

The night continues on, and the two of you keep talking, enjoying each other's company. The more you engage in conversation, the feeling underneath your skin starts to grow almost intense, and it becomes harder to ignore it, or how you feel about this stranger. You can’t tell if the pounding in your head is because of the alcohol or him, his gaze towards you sending chills down your spine, goosebumps trailing their way down your arms.

Leon seems to notice something is off, and the expression he presents is one of concern. "Is something wrong? You look sick..."

It takes every ounce of willpower to keep yourself collected, and your shaking heart under control. "It's nothing, just had too much to drink... maybe," you finally say, giving a half-smile and trying not to show how nervous you are.

You can't help but feel your heart beating like an angry drum. You're almost certain that he can see the signs of your drunken affection for him, and you are sure to grow more and more embarrassed with every passing moment. 

It seems like Leon is trying to offer support, but to you, this just feels like a game of hide and seek, each side trying not to show their cards too early. A cat and mouse chase, the game only ending when the other party gives in. 

“I’m fine, promise.” You wave off his concern, swirling your drink around in your glass in an attempt to focus on something other than his face.

"Okay, if you're sure..." Leon says, his tone expressing that he sees right through your bluff.

He seems to notice you trying to distract him from the situation, and his expression softens slightly. He seems to pick that up, and the conversation continues.

You can't help but feel a tad bit awkward, so you focus on your drink to avoid looking at him. The swirling glass keeps your vision occupied, but your mind is still focused on the face you tried to avoid.

The conversation continues, and there is little to distract you from the awkward situation between you and Leon. The buzz has only grown more intense, almost making it hard to think straight at moments. Your heart is beating and your mind is reeling, tiny specks of black spotting your vision.

“I’m gonna get some fresh air,“ 

As the words begin to leave your mouth, his features shift to one of confusion, disappointment, and hints of something else that you can’t quite place. "... you're leaving?"

"I'm just...." you try to reply, but the words get caught in your throat. "I'll be back, just need some fresh air," you finally manage to stammer out, the expression on his face adding fuel to your lie.

He only nods in response, and you stagger off to the exit, trying to escape the overwhelming feelings flooding you.

You rush past the other partygoers, ignoring their looks and questions as you try to escape to the privacy of your car. The air is refreshingly cool compared to the crowded party inside, and you can finally breathe. You don't bother leaning against the wall, and instead make a dash for your car.

The freedom is refreshing, and you open your car door to find a quiet space where you can collect your thoughts. You still feel a weird mix of emotions inside you, but in the car, you have some time to calm down.

The drive back home is a surreal experience, as the intense feelings of embarrassment and concern start to settle in. You get home and flop onto your bed, letting the plush pillows and soft blankets ease your mind as you fall asleep in a matter of minutes. 

You fall into a deep sleep, but the feelings still linger. However, the soft embrace of sleep makes the feelings more bearable, and you finally allow yourself to rest.

-

The hangover is the first thing that hits you as you wake up, along with the pounding of your head and the aching pain in your body. Itchiness washes over you, feeling like a lingering reminder of the previous night. No wonder you woke up with a headache, considering the amount of alcohol you probably put away last night.

The little bit of alcohol seems like it affected you more than it should have, given the fact that you aren't a lightweight. Why did you have such a strong reaction to a small amount of alcohol? Was it the stress of the situation, or was there something else going on?

You take the pill killers and swallow the cold water with some difficulty, the scratching in your throat making it difficult to swallow. You hope and pray that the pills will kick in soon, as the pounding in your head is unbearable.

The feeling of the pills finally kicking in makes the headache much more tolerable and the itchy feeling under your skin shifts to something slightly less unbearable. You still feel the heat beneath your skin, and you know that the strange feeling hasn't gone away, but it's certainly become more manageable.

As the pills take effect, you're able to gather yourself for a shower. The hot water pours over your body, and it's heavenly. Not only does it bring the pain of your hangover down to a much more bearable level, but it even helps to calm the strange feeling that has been creeping underneath your skin as well. The heat from the water feels divine, and you find yourself lingering in the shower far longer than you intend to.

You step out of the shower, all clean and dressed with a light snack eaten. The lingering effects of the strange feeling are finally bearable, and you're ready to face the world again.

You leave your house and make your way to the hardware store, hoping that they will have the security cameras that you're looking for. The walk there is pleasant, and the breeze is helping to clear out the last bit of the strange feeling you experienced the night before.

As you enter the hardware store, you are relieved to discover that they do, in fact, carry the security cameras that you're looking for. The person working there is super friendly and knowledgeable, helping to guide you to the right section of the store.

It's nice to be able to get some answers about what happened a few nights ago, and the purchase will certainly make you feel safer in your own home.

You're staring at the two boxes, considering one white shade or the other, when a familiar voice breaks your concentration. It's Leon, and it seems he followed you to the store? 

He seems to recommend one shade over the other, and you take his suggestion to heart. The ghost white seems to suit the color of your walls much better, although the seashell has a nice pinkish hue to it. 

"I'll take the ghost white, then," you say, and turn to give him a smile.

“What are you doing here?” You ask as you turn around, spotting his empty basket in hand. 

"I, uhh..." he falters for a moment before continuing. "I was actually headed here to buy some things as well." He gestures to the store, but his eyes seem to be fixed on you instead.

He seems to have something else to say, but he's hesitant. You get the feeling that he's trying to find the right words, and he seems to be avoiding making eye contact.

“I hope you find them all right, they seem to have everything here!” You quickly reply, snuffing out any hint of awkwardness.

He seems to relax a little, as if relieved to shift the topic away from anything tense. "Yeah, they really have everything here. They've got everything I was looking for."

The awkwardness between you seems to have faded, and you feel a bit more comfortable. The conversation is back to being a bit lighthearted, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off of both of your shoulders.

You bid your goodbyes and walk back to your house, holding the bag of freshly bought security cameras in your hand. Hopefully, they’ll blend nicely into your walls, Leon seemed to think so. 

You arrive back home with the two boxes of security cameras in hand and start to consider how to best set them up. You quickly decide the two outside and one in your bedroom, with the last remaining one being a bit of a mystery.

The living room would be a natural spot, but it's pretty open, and doesn't really make sense to have a camera there. The kitchen and dining room are an option, but those rooms could be considered too far away from your bedroom to really be effective at helping your paranoia.

You sit there for a moment, considering options of where the last camera could go. There are so many rooms, and so many different areas to consider, and you can't help but feel overwhelmed.

Finally, you make a decision. The last one will go in the basement, and the basement could use something to watch over it. The basement is an eerie place, with a large variety of odd and old items. The basement is not the neatest place in the world, but that works in your favor. 

You just make sure that it isn't pointed directly at any one thing, but rather in a way that you can watch everything.

You download the app on your phone, which allows you to view all of the cameras at any time. The basement camera is running smoothly, and the stream is clear. You can see the entire room at all times, though you can't detect any obvious signs of intruders or anything out of the ordinary.

It's a relief to have the cameras installed, and the house feels a bit more secure. 

Back upstairs, you toss the empty box and paper away as soon as you return. You won't need the physical reminder anymore, as the code is easy to remember. 

You sit on the couch and feel a feeling of peace wash over you. The cameras are set up, and the inside and outside can be monitored now. It feels comforting, and you hope the cameras will help deter any intruders from targeting your home, or better yet- whoever that one person was. 

-

A few days pass without any issues, and you feel your stress levels ease. Each peaceful day that goes by brings relief, knowing that the cameras are doing their job and nothing strange is going on. 

It's weird to think the strangest thing to happen is tourists flirting with you at your job, it's the truth. Every time you have to deal with one, you wonder how dumb they can really be. You wish you could smack them with the bouquets you sell, and make them regret ever coming over to your counter. But of course, you can't because that's not "Customer Service Friendly.” Ugh.

You almost start to forget about your worries, and life seems to return back to normal. The cameras are doing their job, and it seems like everything has been sorted out.

Leon has become a frequent person in your life, and you find yourself seeing him in almost every place you go. It seems that your paths often cross, even when you aren't necessarily expecting it.

Despite your issues with Leon earlier on, he has turned out to be an alright person. He hasn't done anything malicious like you had assumed, and he seems to be an honest person at this point. 

Beck still hasn't messaged you or anything, so it's been quite lonely without anyone to talk to. Leon has been the only person keeping you distracted from loneliness, and it's kind of refreshing to have someone new to talk to and hang out with.

Getting to know him in such a short time has been a bit of a surprise, as he's shared quite a bit with you. 

You learn about his life as a retired police officer, that he lives with a German shepherd named Lola, and that he currently doesn't have his family. The only other aspect about him that you haven't learned yet is his romantic life.

It's certainly understandable that he would keep his romantic life to himself. You don't go around advertising the fact that you're single either, so you get where he's coming from. It's just a private part of someone's life, and it's not something that needs to be discussed unless it's brought up by the person directly. 

It feels like there's more to him than just the police officer part, the German shepherd, and the lack of family. You kind of feel like there's more to the story when it comes to him. 

Which leads you to now.

You had invited Leon over for dinner, hoping that the house setting would make him feel more comfortable to open up and share more with you. You don't know what it is about him, but there's definitely more to his story than just his career and lack of family. He has some kind of wall around him, and maybe the more peaceful setting of the house will help him relax and share more.

The doorbell rings, signaling the arrival of Leon. You take one last glance in the mirror, making sure everything looks perfect before heading down to answer the door. You open the door, greeting Leon with a smile and leading him inside. 

The dining area is all setup, a delicious meal waiting on the table. The candles are lit and the mood is quiet and peaceful. The smell of the food you cooked wafted through the air, mixing with the warm and light scent of the candles.

Leon seems to be a bit sheepish as his eyes reach the table and linger on the candles and expensive dishes. "You didn't have to do all this for me..." he says, his tone of voice soft but a bit anxious.

You smile and reassure him, "Don't be ridiculous, It's nothing. I just thought I'd make you a nice meal. I've been wanting to cook for someone, and it seemed like a good opportunity." 

He seems to relax once you assure him, though he still seems a bit nervous. He is not used to this, the kindness that you're showing him. It's more than what Leon is used to. He almost looks uncomfortable. 

You take your seat at the table, motioning for him to take his as well. The candles light the room with a warm and dim glow, adding to the pleasant atmosphere of the dinner. Leon sits down at the table, looking at the food with a bit of a smile. He looks nervous still, but there is some kind of small enjoyment on his face. The dinner looks inviting, and Leon seems to be slowly growing comfortable with the situation.

You continue to chat over the delicious dinner, and the conversation flows smoothly for both of you. Leon is enjoying the food and seems to actually be enjoying the conversation. It's the first time you've gone this deep into your friendship with him, and you can't help but feel glad that he is enjoying this night so far.

You both finish eating, and you start putting away the food. You're now standing at your sink as you start washing the dishes, Leon coming over to help and washing the rest of them.

"Let me help you with that, I don't mind at all," Leon says, taking the dishes from you and helping to wash them. "I'm used to doing housework, so I can help finish these with you."

You feel a bit of resistance to the idea, wanting to handle it on your own. But, it seems like Leon is not accepting refusal as an answer. 

Instead, he is taking the dishes from you and helping to wash them himself. There is a sense of kindness and politeness in his voice as if he is offering a helping hand, and you can't bring yourself to deny him. You're not exactly sure what you did to deserve this level of kindness, but you're certainly not complaining.

"Well, thank you. I appreciate the help," You say, giving in and washing the dishes alongside him. "It's no problem really," Leon says, washing the dishes. The two of you scrub away at the dishes, and for a while, there's nothing but the sound of clattering dishes as the water washes over them.

Leon seems more comfortable now, and you notice that he's smiling a bit more as the dishes are cleaned. He does seem a bit restless though, unable to stay still for a long time. Messing with his clothes, bouncing his knee, fiddling with the dishes. The silence is peaceful though, and it's nice to have this small moment with Leon.

You glance over a few times and see Leon's gaze landing on the sharper cutlery, and you notice that he seems to be running his fingers along the sharp edge as if he is contemplating something. It's like he's considering whether or not he should be allowed to use those utensils, as if they're forbidden fruit or something. You can't help but feel a bit uneasy about the way he keeps looking at them. You watch cautiously as he continues to run his fingers along the sharp edge as if testing it out. There's a bit of worry in your mind when it comes to letting him hold these knives, as he seems to be entranced by them in some way. The thought of letting him get near them is making you feel a bit uneasy, but you don't want to be too controlling and tell him he can't touch them.

You hesitate for a moment, wondering if you should say anything at all, but your worry over the situation is too much for you to let go. You finally ask, "Is everything okay?"

Leon stops and turns to face you, his attention returning to you. "Hmm?" Leon hums, and you notice he's snapped out of the trance he was in. "Oh, yeah, everything's alright. I'm just cleaning the knives," he says, holding one up and scrubbing it.

You furrow your brows a bit at that comment, not wanting to push it further than that. If he says things are alright, then you might just have to take him at his word. It's no use pushing it further if he seems to be content, and you don't want to make things awkward or uncomfortable now.

As you finish up your portion of the dishes, you head over to the counter to dry your hands off with the hand towel. You keep glancing over at Leon, and he's still washing the dishes too. You're feeling ready to rest, but it seems like Leon is just finishing up his portion now. You watch him for a few moments as he finishes up the cutlery, wondering how much longer he'll take.

"I really do want to thank you." Leon suddenly says, the shift in his tone causes you to freeze a little bit, your brow twitching slightly at the ominous undertones it brings with it. You wonder what could have caused this change in the tone of his voice. The sudden seriousness that has come over him is unsettling, and it's almost as if he sees you in a different light now.

"You've been so nice to me, I can't help but feel touched," he says, still looking down at the dishes he's cleaning. This shift is alarming, especially with the way he's not even looking at you anymore.

You laugh awkwardly, trying to pass off his words with a joke. "No need to get all sappy on me," you echo back, hoping that he'll laugh along with you.

"Just wanted us to talk more, have a nice dinner between friends…" You repeat back in an attempt to be lighthearted and not make the situation too awkward.

"A friend, hm?" he says, finally taking his eyes off the dishes and looking up at you now. His gaze is almost piercing, and you can feel that he is studying you with his full attention. The way he's looking at you now makes you feel exposed, almost like he can find some hidden flaw with just one glance. His stare is almost piercing, and you feel like you're being studied from every angle. You wonder what he sees when he looks at you, and what he could be thinking right now.

"Well, we are friends," you reply back, feeling quite uneasy with the way he is looking at you. You don't like the way he's studying you like this, as if he's trying to find something wrong with you.

"That's what I've considered you as this entire time," you continue, trying to keep the sour feelings at bay.

Leon's gaze shifts and his entire demeanor changes in a jarring way. One moment he was focused on the dishes, and the next he was looking at you with an intense gaze that sends chills down your spine. You stare back at him with hesitation, and in just a split second you can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of uneasiness wash over you when you see him looking at you like this.

The silence between you two is thick as you stare at each other, and it's as if everything else in the world has stopped. You can't help but feel a sharp feeling of nervousness building inside you, making it feel almost as if you're in the presence of danger. You can't place exactly what changed about him, or what caused this shift in his demeanor. 

His laugh echoes in your ears, but the low and rumbling sound only serves to further distress you. This whole situation is unsettling and it's making you question everything. The whole time you thought you were simply having a nice dinner with a friend, but it appears the situation is a bit more intense than you thought.

"Is that what you think this is?" he asks you, raising an eyebrow.

"This friendship?" you ask, and you feel a bit taken off guard by the question. You stare back at him, your eyes narrowed slightly in suspicion. 

"What do you mean?"

"Is that what you think this is?" he asks again, and this time his tone is darker. You can't help but feel uncomfortable with the way he's looking at you when he says those words. It's as if he's challenging you in some way, and the vibe of him seems to have changed.

You can feel a mixture of confusion and anger wash over you as you narrow your eyes at Leon. You feel like he is implying something different, and you don't like it at all.

"That's all I think you are at the moment, nothing more," you reply, trying to keep your cool. You don't like the way this conversation is going, and you don't want to get too frustrated and ruin everything.

"Well, I'm sorry if you aren't satisfied with that outcome," Leon replies, his tone taking on a more ominous feel to it. Your confusion is growing at this point because everything he's saying seems to carry a deeper message. "But I dont think you understand what you're saying..."

"What do you mean by that?" you reply, feeling like the conversation is getting a bit intense now. The way he's talking has taken on a more ominous feel to it, and you can't help but feel a bit uneasy now.

"I dont understand what I'm saying?" you echo back, looking at him with a cautious expression. You're not sure what he means by that, but you're starting to get a bad feeling in your gut.

"I think you're just confused is all." He replies nonchalantly, shrugging his shoulders.

You can't help but feel a moment of frustration when he replies with a casual shrug. Was he just messing around with you? Was that threat in his words supposed to be some kind of joke?

"Confused?" you repeat back, but there's a bit of a frown on your face now. You're starting to feel more than just a bit confused, as he seems to be toying with your emotions. You're not sure what game he's playing at, but it's starting to bother you.

"Okay, I dont understand what's going on here. But I'm not comfortable with you being in my house anymore, I think you should leave." You say, shaking your head, shifting your weight back and forth as you speak, the motion soothing you. 

He seems taken aback by this sudden dismissal, his expression darkening somewhat as he looks at you with a look of surprise and something else. It's like he's trying to hide his anger, but you can't help but feel the threat of it lurking in his eyes.

"I'm not leaving," he replies, his tone shifting back to one of arrogance. He doesn't care that you're not comfortable with this situation, instead, he's demanding that this conversation continue. 

You feel like you're being backed into a corner, and the thought of being forced to engage with this anymore is making you feel uneasy.

"I said you should leave." You repeat yourself, doubling down on your decision.

"No, you should think things through and realize that you want me here." He says, his tone shifting from one of arrogance back to a threatening aura. It's a bit unsettling how quickly he shifted to this, with such a demanding tone. The conversation shifts in tone once again, and he is back to being arrogant and demanding. He doesn't plan to leave just because you told him to, and you're starting to feel uncomfortable with being in this situation with a person so hostile and unyielding.

You quickly size him up, your eyes widening when you spot the tightly gripped knife in his hand. The sudden change in his attitude and that tight grip on the knife make all the pieces click together for you, and suddenly everything makes sense. Your instincts take over, and you become alert to being in a potentially dangerous situation.

Leon notices your shock and tries to take advantage of it, lunging at you with the knife, aiming for your stomach. The sudden lunge catches you off-guard, and you flinch at the action. You can't help but start to feel a rush of fear as the knife aims for your stomach. 

You react quickly, dodging out of the way and punching him square in the jaw, sending him flying towards the floor. 

You scramble away and run as fast as you can in the direction of your bedroom, closing the door behind you and locking it tight. 

The adrenaline coursing through your veins makes your heart beat faster with every step, and you can feel your breath coming out in quick, shaky breaths.

You look around your room in a frenzy, using your new found strength to push your dresser in front of the door. You’re sure any police officer knows how to pick a lock, especially the basic ones that are in these old houses. In a panic, you try to find a place to hide and scan the room for somewhere to hide, your eyes landing on your closet. 

You move toward the closet, and you're careful to open and shut the door slowly. The inside of the closet is dark and cramped, making it feel more creepy than comforting. You try to ignore the feeling of claustrophobia that is creeping into you, and you duck down as you pull the door closed behind you.

The moment you duck into the closet, you hear the sounds of footsteps rushing up the stairs. You realize that your bedroom is the last room in the hallway, which means it could take him a while before he reaches you. 

But, he's going to get to you eventually and you start feeling a bit of panic in the back of your mind.

Would anyone find you when he reaches you? Could you be recognizable to the poor neighbor who finds your body when he’s done? 

You begin to get more and more anxious as the footsteps draw closer, the tension and fear of waiting for the inevitable reaching a fever pitch. 

You sit there in the closet, hiding and waiting in the darkness. You know that the longer this goes on, the more danger you're in, and you can't help but shake slightly at the thought.

You hear the slam of the guest room's door as it burst open, followed by the quiet sounds of rustling that fill your ears as he searches the room. It's an eerie noise, and it sends shivers down your spine as you realize he's getting closer to you. You clutch your hands, trying to keep your breathing quiet and steady as he gets closer.

The silence is overwhelming, as you try everything you can not to make a sound. You hold your breath as you hear Leon searching in the bathroom now, the rustling sound of the curtain pulling back catching your attention, your racing heartbeat growing stronger and louder as he gets closer. The tension is building, and the thought of him finding you is causing you more distress than you would like to admit.

You can hear the chuckle of Leon's voice as he reaches your bedroom door, and you hold your breath even tighter. He's getting so close now, and you can feel yourself starting to tremble with fear. His voice carries with it a sense of dominance and arrogance, and you can almost imagine the smirk he's giving you right now.

You clench your fists tightly as you hear Leon's voice talking to you through the door.

"I know you're in there. Why are you hiding? Do you think it'll help you?" he says, his voice sounding smug and superior. He sounds like he's enjoying this situation a bit too much, and your heart starts pounding in your chest as you hear the confidence in his voice.

The silence is almost deafening when you don’t respond, and you sit there listening to your rapid heartbeat and your slow breathing. There's so much tension in the air, and you feel like your heartbeat is going to explode out of your chest. 

The silence lasts for what seems like an eternity, but you close your eyes tight, hoping that he'll just give in and leave you alone. And, it seems your prayers are answered, and there's only silence for a few moments before the sound of footsteps heading down the stairs makes you sigh of relief. 

You sit in the closet, letting out a sigh of relief when you hear the footsteps heading down the stairs instead of coming toward your closet door. The tension is starting to ebb slightly, and you feel an overwhelming sense of relief wash over you. You feel like you can finally breathe again, and you start to slow your breathing as you try to calm down.

The sound of the dresser scraping against the floor escapes your notice as you try to take deep breaths and calm yourself down. You miss the sound of the footsteps moving toward the door, letting your heart beat faster as you bury your head into your hands. You miss the subtle noises that would have warned you of what was coming. 

When he rips open the closet door, you let out a sharp gasp and freeze, staring up at him in fear as he stares back with that smug expression on his face.

"Found you."

-

word count: 10k

[ereardon]

Snowed In || Friday [Jake Seresin x OC]

A Jake Seresin AU miniseries

Summary: When a massive storm shutters every airport in New York, you receive an unexpected call. Jake Seresin, the ex-boyfriend of your college roommate, is stranded at JFK with nowhere to go. Somehow you find yourself hosting Jake for a long weekend in your studio apartment. What happens when you realize that maybe your long-standing hatred for him was covering up something else? 

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x OC [Ella Finnley]

Trope: Forced proximity; enemies to lovers

Warnings: Cursing, references to cheating, eventual smut

Wordcount: 3.2K 

Masterlist here

“And this just in. More than a foot of snow is expected in areas across the Tri-State, with Scarsdale already at seven inches and counting. LaGuardia has shut down their runway, with Newark and John F Kennedy airport soon to follow.” 

You groaned, flicking off the TV and opening the cabinets. They were predicting the worst storm in two decades and somehow all you had in the cupboard was a lifetime supply of ramen noodles and red wine. 

Outside, the snow was falling in soft clumps. You looked out the window which overlooked Fifth Avenue. Very few cars or taxis were on the road, and the people who were outside looked miserable. 

And then the phone rang. You dove for it, expected it to be your mom with yet another tidbit of news that she thought was groundbreaking, as if you didn’t already know that Diet Coke was bad for you, but the male voice on the other end startled you. 

“Ella?” 

You squinted, pulling the phone back and registering the caller ID. Jake Seresin. You groaned. “What could you possibly want, Jake?” 

“Nice to hear from you, too,” he replied and you rolled your eyes. It had been a decade since you last heard from Jake Seresin. He was just as obnoxious as you remembered. 

“Listen, Seresin, if you called just to give me shit, I didn’t need a reminder that you’re a dick. Memory serves well enough. Goodbye.” 

“El, wait!” 

You frowned. “What?” 

His voice softened. “I’m sorry to do this,” he said and you felt your stomach tightening. “But you’re the only person I know in the city.” Jake paused. “I’m stuck at JFK.” 

“Don’t eat the egg sandwich,” you said, recalling a moldy sandwich you had gotten once at the airport on the way to Berlin. “Have a good flight, Jake.” 

“Ella, I’m stranded,” he said and you groaned. “Can I stay with you? Just until the airports open back up.” 

You looked outside. In the two minutes since Jake had called, snow had started to fall faster, coating the streets and sidewalks and innocent pedestrians. 

“I’m sorry,” he said and for perhaps the first time that you had known him in almost fifteen years, Jake Seresin sounded genuine. “I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t my only option.” 

Jake Seresin. The last time you had seen him, he was standing in the doorway of your college apartment with a bouquet of flowers that Suzannah had grabbed and trampled on in fury. 

“Ella? Are you still there?” 

“Fine,” you said, surprising even yourself. “Fifth and 12th Street. Apartment 4B.” 

“I owe you, El.” 

“Two days, Seresin,” you replied. “Anything more and you get a hotel.” 

“I’ll see you soon.”

***

You had hated Jake Seresin for as long as you could remember. Or at least, since the first time you saw his smug face in a poli sci lecture. He was sitting in the back, drinking a cup of coffee and doodling on a notebook. At the end of class, he had come right up to you and asked if he could copy your notes. When you said no, asking why he hadn’t taken his own notes, he had called you sweetheart and shot his best grin. 

You turned on your heel and walked away. 

Two years later, your roommate Suzannah has been stupid enough to fall for his charm, and you were treated to the unfortunate experience of having to listen to the two of them having sex behind the thin walls of your apartment. More than once you had stumbled into a shirtless Jake in the bathroom, smelling like sex and acidic cologne. Once he had walked in on you naked and instead of hurrying out like a normal person, he had leered. 

You had doubled down on your hatred for him from that moment on. 

When the doorbell buzzed you sighed, peering at the small ring camera before pressing the buzzer. “Come up.” 

The minute between buzzing him in and Jake knocking on the door felt like a century. It always did. There was something so awkward about shuffling around, waiting for the door but not wanting to be too eager to open it when the knock finally came. 

Taking a deep breath, you swung the door open. 

Jake Seresin in the flesh. The same goofy, brilliant grin from a decade before. Sandy blond hair dotted with melting snowflakes, cheeks ruddy and pink from the cold. He wore a light jacket, far too light for the extreme weather, and held a duffle bag in one hand, cowboy boots soggy and wet, dripping on your doormat. 

“Jake.” 

He smiled, leaning in for a hug and you pulled back at the last second so he stumbled over the threshold. Jake righted himself. “Ella. Still hate me, I see.” 

You turned, shaking your head. The sound of the door closing was followed by the plop of Jake’s bag on the ground. “Shoes off,” you called out, and there was a clattering as he kicked off his boots. 

Jake appeared a moment later, his jacket removed, revealing a tight henley shirt and a pair of jeans. He took a look around the studio. It was surprisingly large, for New York standards. Not Sex and the City unrealistic, but nice, with an alcove to the right that held your queen sized bed, a large couch against one wall and a dining area in the center. 

The galley kitchen off the main hallway was large and the bathroom was relatively spacious for a studio. It had just been you for so long that you didn’t think twice about the size. But something about Jake in your space made you realize maybe it wasn’t as spacious as it looked to your smaller frame. He hulked in the hallway. 

“Nice place,” he said. “Been here long?” 

“Four years.” 

He tipped his head. “Always knew you were going to end up in New York, didn’t you?” 

You sighed, plopping down on one end of the couch, crossing one leg over the other. “What are you doing here, Seresin?” 

“I told you, I was stranded at the airport,” Jake replied, stepping forward and taking a seat on the chair opposite of the couch. You grimaced. His outdoor pants were touching your indoor furniture. That was the downside of having guests. If Jake could even be considered a guest. Don’t guests have to be invited? Or wanted. 

“On your way to where? Somewhere without extradition laws?” 

Jake rolled his eyes. “Ten years, Finn. Ten years and you haven’t changed.” 

“Have you?”

The words clung to the air. The elephant in the room. It didn’t matter that it had been nearly a decade since the last time you had seen Jake Seresin. 

His betrayal still stung, even if it had never been directed at you. 

“Ella,” he whispered. Outside, the sky was darkening. Without the constant bumper-to-bumper traffic that was a given on Fifth Ave, the street was uncomfortably dark. There was a dampness that chilled your bones, even from the comfort of being inside. “Please. Can we just put aside the past for the next few days?” He looked older. Small lines at the corners of his eyes. Jake Seresin had a loud, boisterous laugh, you remembered that about him. The way he could liven up a party. The way he could make you feel like you were the only person in the room. 

This time you were. 

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Finn?” he said, bringing back your nickname from college. “Truce?” 

You leaned back against the soft white couch cushion. “Fine.” 

Jake grinned. It was magnetic and you hated him for it. “Well, let’s celebrate then. Got anything to drink?” 

“Been here one minute and you need a drink already?” you asked, standing up. Jake’s eyes roamed over your leggings and sweater as you made your way into the kitchen, emerging a moment later with a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Someone never got over their frat days I see.” 

Jake reached out, taking the bottle from your hands and turning it on its side. “You must be doing OK,” he said. “This is a one hundred dollar bottle of wine.” You handed him the wine opener and he undid the top easily, sliding out the cork and laying it on a stack of magazines on the marble coffee table. 

“Anything is better than that Franzia shit you used to love.” 

Jake ignored your comment, instead turning the bottle and reading the label. “I did a wine tour in Lebanon a few years ago. This was one of my favorite vineyards.”

You frowned, holding out a glass and he tipped the neck of the bottle against the thin rim, dribbling it into your glass. “So did I. That’s where I got that bottle.” You pointed to the 2015 Chateau Musar in his hand. 

“What were you doing in Lebanon?” 

“Writing a story,” you replied. “What about you?” 

“Went with a friend,” Jake said. “We met in Portugul and decided fuck it, let’s go to Lebanon.” 

“Still wildly dependable I see.” 

“I have a job, Ella. I’m an adult.” 

You laughed, tugging your knees to your chest. “Oh yeah?” 

Jake nodded, setting the bottle of wine down. You let your eyes roam over his fancy jeans, cashmere socks, shiny watch that you hadn’t noticed before. Maybe he wasn’t lying. Maybe he was doing OK for himself. 

“Fine,” you said, taking a sip of your wine. “You have a job. Slow clap. Who doesn’t?” 

Jake shook his head. “Still bitter,” he replied, tilting his glass to his lips. “Whatever happened to you and Connor Gray?” 

“Oh God,” you muttered. “Fuck no. Do you know what he’s doing now? He’s a fucking DJ in Bushwick.” You mimed gagging. “I’d rather eat my left foot than date some Chelsea-boot-wearing guy who drinks craft beer and tries to serenade me on a hot rooftop in Brooklyn on his shitty guitar.” 

Jake tipped his head back with a laugh. It filled the room. You had almost forgotten how boisterous his laugh could be. 

“What about you?” you asked. “Any poor unsuspecting women?” There was no ring on his finger, no tan line or dent to show that perhaps he was divorced instead. 

“Nope.” Jake put his glass down. “Single.”

“Really? Jake Seresin, single.” 

“It’s hard out there, Finn,” he said, his voice hitting a register you couldn’t quite place. Something between sadness and begging for understanding. 

“You were never without a date to a formal in college. Couldn’t even go out without girls throwing themselves at you.” You shrugged. “I don’t know. I didn’t think the player in you would just shrivel up and die the minute we hit thirty.” 

“I’m still twenty nine,” Jake corrected. “And I don’t know what to tell you, El. It was fun for a while. But then I started to feel kind of gross. Like Leo DiCaprio. A new girl all the time. I couldn’t go to a single wedding without people asking about the girl who I had brought to the last one. But she was long gone.” He paused. “Couldn’t tell you the last time I saw the same girl for more than a month or three dates.”  

You frowned. Jake Seresin, a reformed manwhore? Not possible. 

He shrugged. “There, is that my dues for the night? Told you my dating life so now you owe me shelter from the storm?” 

“For now,” you said, standing up. “Interrogation can resume later. I’m hungry.” 

“Then let’s eat.” Jake looked outside. “It’s pretty shit out.” 

“Agreed.”

“What do you have for food?” 

You winced. “Honestly? I mostly eat out, so not much.” 

Jake stood up, brushing past you so closely you could feel his broad chest press against you for a second on his way toward the kitchen. “I’ll figure something out. You relax.” 

“Relax? With you in my apartment? Fat chance, Seresin.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Going to be a long weekend, isn’t it, Finn?” 

***

Jake somehow managed to make a perfectly edible dinner out of the almost-expired food in your fridge and what was left in the pantry. The two of you sat at the small two-person table you had pressed against one set of windows overlooking Fifth Ave. 

Anyone looking in might think it was a date. Even though Jake had dated Suzannah for almost a year, you two had barely spent any alone time together. That’s how you always tried to keep it with your friends’ significant others. A simple conversation here and there, usually while your friend was showering or getting ready or coming back from the store. 

Never like this. 

After dinner, Jake insisted on cleaning. As if it would make up for the countless times he had left shit in your apartment sink in college. You stood at the window, watching the snow pummel from the sky, coating the street in a thick blanket that it couldn’t shake. There was no one outside walking around. It felt apocalyptic and you cringed knowing that you still had at least a day alone with Jake and nothing to do but be in each other’s presence. 

“It’s dark in here,” Jake said, startling you. You turned as he reached for the overhead light. 

“Stop,” you said and he froze. “Lamps, dumbass. Why do men always want to use ceiling lights? Do you like being bathed in fluorescent light?” You strode over to the dresser along one wall, flicking on a candle warmer lamp and another small lamp on the far side of the room. Warm light spilled out into the room. 

“Does it matter?” Jake asked. 

“Yes.” 

Jake shook his head. “Alright, Finn. I’m all yours. What do you want to do?” 

“You mean other than throw you out in the snow on your ass?” 

Jake stepped closer. “Am I really that bad?” he whispered. 

You looked up. Clear green eyes, perfect almond tanned skin. Hair swept back in a carefree manner. You could tell why Suzannah has lost her fucking mind over him all those years ago. He really was too pretty to be true. “Maybe.” 

Jake looked around. “Well I would say I can get out of your hair for a few hours, but there’s not really many options.” He was right. Minus the alcove where your bed sat, the apartment was a pretty open floor plan. 

“Let’s just watch TV and watch the minutes tick by on the longest day known to mankind.” 

Reluctantly, you settled down onto the couch and flipped on the TV. After scrolling for a solid five minutes, Jake groaned. 

“What, Seresin?” you demanded. 

“Take longer,” he complained. 

“Fine, you do it.” You shoved the remote into his chest, trying to ignore how nice his chest felt beneath his shirt. 

Jake took the clicker and flicked through the apps before settling on a movie. 

“No,” you argued. 

He turned to you with a grin. “It’s a guilty pleasure. Humor me, Finn.” 

You grimaced as Twilight started. Jake laughed his way through the serious parts of the movie, cackling out loud at the spider monkey bit and you found yourself laughing along next to him. God, Carlisle really was hot. So was Charlie. That’s how you knew you were almost thirty. 

By the end of the movie, the two of you had shifted comfortably on the couch. You were no longer three feet apart. Instead, your feet were crossed over each other, almost precariously touching Jake’s where they sat propped up on the coffee table. 

It was the first time in years that you could remember sitting through an entire movie without some guy trying to feel you up or make a movie. 

The credits started to roll and you reached for the remote just as Jake did. You pulled your hand back like it was on fire and he handed it to you. “Sorry,” Jake said softly. His voice had grown huskier in the hour and a half since the movie started. “Your TV. Your remote.” 

“It’s fine,” you said and it was gentle. He smiled. There was something devilish about Jake Seresin’s smile. It was too perfect. You cleared your throat. “I, um, should get to bed

“Me too.” 

You stood up, clicking off the TV. The room felt darker without it, just the soft lamps illuminating small circles of light. “I’m going to shower. I’ll get you some blankets and pillows. The couch should be big enough for you.” 

“Thanks, El.” There was something so genuine about the way he said it that threw you off. Who was this stranger and what had he done with the dickwad from Stanford? “For letting me stay.” 

“See how much you like me after a night of sleeping on that,” you replied, digging in the closet near the hallway for pillows and a comforter, dumping them in Jake’s arms. “Do you, um, need to use the bathroom first?” 

“I’ll go after you.” 

In the shower, you were acutely aware that no more than twenty feet away, Jake Seresin was fiddling around in your apartment. You had spent hundreds and hundreds of hours with him at Stanford, but this was different and you both knew it. When you entered the living room, steam pummeling out of the bathroom door, Jake looked up from where he stood shirtless in the living room. “Oh, God!” you exclaimed, holding one hand up to your face. “What the fuck?” 

“Fuck, fuck, sorry!” Jake grabbed for his t-shirt on the couch, tugging it on. “OK, you’re safe. All clear.” 

“This isn’t Barcelona, Seresin,” you complained, stepping toward the dresser and sliding open a drawer, pulling out a pair of silk pajamas. “Or a rave in someone’s basement.” 

He sat down on the edge of the couch cushion. “Been that long since you’ve seen a shirtless guy, huh, El?” 

You hated that he was right. “Fuck off.” 

Jake chuckled. “Sorry, couldn’t help it.” 

“Maybe that’s why no girl wants to date you for more than a week,” you snapped. “Because you’re a dick.” 

Silence hung in the air, thick like the snow clumping on the streets outside the window. You held your breath, letting your lungs sit there and burn. Jake’s eyes haunted yours. 

You felt bad. Never had you ever expected to feel bad for Jake Seresin. Golden boy. Womanizer. Player extraordinaire. But this was obviously a sore spot and you knew it. 

He looked sad, sitting in your apartment living room in the near-dark, face drawn and quiet. An unease squeezed at your stomach. 

“Jake, I–”

Jake stood, cutting you off. “It’s fine. I’m going to use the bathroom if that’s OK.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

You watched his frame disappear down the hallway, rounding the corner into the subway tiled bathroom. As you sat down in your silk robe at the edge of your bed, the silence in the apartment, usually so comforting as an alternative to the bustle of the city outside, felt stifling. When Jake returned in the dark, flicking off the final light and settling onto the couch, you held your breath, waiting for him to say something. 

But nothing ever came. The two of you laid there, ten feet apart, separated by a wall of silence. 

You had spent ten years who knows how many miles away from Jake Seresin and never given him another thought. Why was it that ten feet now felt like a lap around the equator? 

The chill in the room wasn’t in your head and it wasn’t from the blizzard outside. You and Jake had created frost all on your own. 

Tag list [using my list from The Off-Season since it's my most up-to-date Jake list but if you're not interested in these types of fics just let me know!):

@double-j @topguncultleader @momc95 @hangmandruigandmav

@teacupsandtopgun @xomrsalliej4787xo @xoxabs88xox @blue-aconite @seresinhangmanjake @eminyourjeans @shawnsblue @babyminghao @sadpetalsstuff @angelbabyange @taytaylala12 @wkndwlff @mygyn @oneelleandaneye @averyhotchner @rosiahills22 @djs8891 @rxmtoon @valkyrja-siren-blog @horseshoegirl @abaker74 @clancycucumber230 @theharddeck @redbarn1995 @shanimallina87

@memeorydotcom @joaquinwhorres @bobfloydsbabe @gretagerwigsmuse @djs8891

@blackcatdhisgf @fangirlvoice @buckysteveloki-me  @eli2447 @bellaireland1981 

[jtl07]

Vacation

oooh anon this works well with a little noodle i had recently for a coworkers/office au!

the sun is out, her hair looks great, the weather is perfect for her new outfit, she feels good, she looks good - but the one person she wants to look at her isn't here.

"Beatrice is out today," Lilith had said from across the table, not even looking away from her computer screen, "maybe you'll get some actual work done while she's gone."

Ava had rolled her eyes and accidentally tipped over Lilith's jar of pens as she'd passed by her desk but even that hadn't been satisfying as she'd stepped outside of the office by herself.

she isn't mad - really, she's glad that Beatrice was taking time off. ever since Ava had started at the company at the beginning of the year, she hadn't once seen Beatrice take a day off from work. sure there were appointments here and there, but Ava saw see her at least once a day everyday, on her way to grab a snack from the pantry, or offer to get some coffee, or ask Beatrice to look over a document that had nothing to do with her department.

Lilith always rolls her eyes when Ava comes by but the thing is, yeah people say all the time to "reach out anytime!" but Beatrice is different. when Beatrice had been assigned as her 'onboarding buddy' for her first month on the job, Ava had learned that a) Beatrice knew everything there was to know about the company and b) she actually means it when she says to come to her for anything. no matter what Ava has for her, no matter the time of day, Beatrice has never turned her away - at most has had Ava wait as she finishes an email or come back if she's on her way to a meeting, but she always, always makes time for Ava. so excuse her for feeling off for not being able to see her favorite person.

Ava huffs, pouts to herself, then decides fuck it, she has no meetings, nothing urgent this afternoon: she's taking gonna take a long lunch. so she heads for a park a couple blocks from the office, the one Beatrice had pointed out during her first week and she finds the fountain Beatrice had mentioned with that small smile that had made Ava a little breathless and a lot enamored.

she can tell why Beatrice likes this park - it's a lot like her, Ava thinks as she eats her sandwich. it's quiet but full of all sorts of beautiful things if one looks closely enough, waits long enough - the birds hiding in the trees, the sparkles in the fountain, the soothing summer breeze. she can imagine Beatrice sitting at one of the benches, maybe reading a book, or a cup of tea, or in a soft hoodie and red eyes -

Ava blinks. realizes she's not imagining things at all.

she swallows down the last of her sandwich, watches Beatrice carefully. there's a heaviness about her, a weight on her shoulders and yet she doesn't seem truly there - eyes distant and unseeing, or maybe seeing something that isn't there.

and Ava gets it. she gets needing to be alone and it feels like she's intruding, sitting here, seeing Beatrice like this. she gathers up her things as quickly and quietly as she can, turns to leave -

- and trips over the bench she'd just stood up from, introducing her face to the grass.

"excuse me, are you alright?"

Ava groans because of course Beatrice would help; of course she'd have to see her like this.

"yep, I'm good. just bruised the ol' ego."

"Ava?"

she groans again, rolls over, squints into the sun - realizes, fuck, there goes her perfect outfit - and smiles to hopefully ease the concern on Beatrice's face. "hey Bea." she gets to her feet with Beatrice's help, brushes off the worst of the dirt, holds back her sigh at the grass stain on her pants. "so uh, I thought you were on vacation."

Beatrice purses her lips together and shrugs. "not really. I just - it's easier, to just take this day off."

Ava racks her brain for all the facts and trivia she's learned about Beatrice over the past few months, but nothing comes up in connection to this particular date. "okay," she says, still watching carefully. "do you - do you want me to pretend I didn't see you?"

something bewildered passes over Beatrice's face and Ava just - keeps going. "I can if you want - because you're supposed to be on PTO and all, like, I don't know, do we need to sync our alibis like on those detective mystery shows or something?"

Beatrice raises an eyebrow; Ava tries not to swoon. "you think I'm taking time off to commit a murder?"

"shh, we're in public, you don't know who might be listening!" Ava flaps her arms as if to wave away any spying ears.

Beatrice stares at her for a moment then softens; laughs. "you're ridiculous."

"and you haven't denied it," Ava says pointedly. "but nah, you're probably the red herring character, like you're helping the victim's family by doing something not exactly totally legal but you give the investigators a really important clue that helps them find the asshole murderer, so technically you're a hero in the end."

Beatrice sighs, heavy and curling into hoodie, into herself. "I'm nothing of the sort, Ava."

Ava leans into her for just a moment, just close enough to bump shoulders. "yeah you are, Bea. you're a hero to me."

there's disbelief in Beatrice's eyes so Ava keeps her gaze as steady as she can, thinks: i know what you are. thinks: i believe it even if you can't yet.

Beatrice looks away. Ava waits, watches as her fingers play with the hem of her hoodie, listens as she takes a deep breath, feels something shift when Beatrice meets her gaze once more. "you know I -" a flash of white as teeth sink momentarily into her bottom lip; Ava again tries not to swoon - "I don't think I'm familiar with those shows," Beatrice says.

it's hesitant and indirect but Ava knows an offer, recognizes a heroic effort when she sees it. "do you wanna watch some episodes together?"

"you don't have to go back to work?" Beatrice asks but Ava is already typing out a message on her phone.

"nope. and Cam just said I'm good to take the rest of the day so I'm all yours." Ava pockets her phone just as she realizes her word choice; decides to just lean into it and waggles her eyebrows for good measure.

she's rewarded with another laugh and the faintest pink across Beatrice's cheeks. Beatrice looks away again, looks back and smiles. "thank you, Ava."

and because she can't help herself, and because she wants Beatrice to know she means it, Ava reaches out to take her hand. "anytime, Bea."

[callmewrinkles3]

Deal.

July 2018

Em still wasn't sure why she'd agreed to do this. She could have left. She could have walked away and pretended that Dan never sent that text, that she'd leave Dan alone and pretend they'd never met. That Monaco never happened. It would have made her life easier.

But Dan had actually called her and she couldn't turn him down over the phone. And without thinking she told him to meet her at her favourite cafe in Ealing, close to where she'd been to uni. So she was sitting there trying to get some work done before he arrived. She'd nearly texted him to go to the Pret down the street, somewhere unfamiliar, but she deleted the message. A familiar place would be better for her nerves, Sue grinning and starting her latte as she walked in and asking how Em was and what she was doing.

She sat in the corner with her coffee and a chicken sandwich that Ron handed her with a smile and a greeting. She'd have loved to say that she didn't notice Dan walking in, but she did immediately. It was too small to not notice someone arrive, but that curly hair was too much to ignore. He came straight across to her with his broad smile and she couldn't help but return it.

"Hey Emmy, what're you drinking? I'll get one."

"Caramel latte, just tell Sue it's for me and she'll know." It took five minutes before he was back, one of the little trays in his hands carrying everything. There was a coffee for each of them, a blueberry muffin for her and a noodle salad for Dan, with a slice of cake in between them on the table to share.

"The woman at the counter said this is your favourite, is that right? I guess you come here often."

"Yeah, I used to work here in uni. Still pull shifts if they need a hand and I have time." Em took a sip of her coffee, smiling at the taste. "Congrats on France, by the way. And happy birthday, I hope it's a good year for you."

"Thanks, we're doing drinks after Silverstone for it. At least I got to finish the race this time! Plus some good points. But how are you? How was the last few weeks?"

She paused, trying to work out how to make it sound more fun than it had been. "You know, the usual. Working, making sure Blake's apartment doesn't fall apart while he's running around the world."

They both took a bite in the awkward silence that had fallen between them and Em waited for him to speak. It had never been awkward between them before.

"I owe you an apology." It was the most serious she'd ever heard him before.

"Dan-"

"No, Emmy, please. I owe you one. I shouldn't have just ignored you, that was wrong and I'm sorry. I know it doesn't fix it but I didn't mean to. Yeah I was busy, but I shouldn't have. I promise I didn't want to. Work was insane and with the way my schedule is I didn't want to bother you when you have enough going on." She watched him take a few seconds to work out how to phrase what he wanted to say and let him pause. "I'm sorry. It wasn't a one night stand, and you're my friend. I don't want us to lose any of what we have."

"You don't need to apologise, Dan. We both did it."

"Yeah but I w-"

"Look, Dan, I still want to be your friend. I still want to hang out with you and spend time with you when you have it, and we both know you don't have much." She took a breath to get the rest of what she needed to say out, "But I don't think we should sleep together anymore. You mean a hell of a lot to me, and if we keep sleeping together we're going to fuck up eventually. We can be friends though, right?"

"Yeah. Friends." The smile on his face didn't fully reach his eyes and that hurt Em, but she knew it was the right call. And if he didn't want to be her friend he could fade out of her life. It'd be fine. They stayed quiet eating for a few moments.

"So you're coming to Silverstone, right? I organised a hotel room for you."

"Dan..."

"I have your pass!" He pulled four passes from his jacket, lanyards wrapped around the neatly stacked batch. "You don't have to take a flight this time. Please? As my birthday present?"

"I have your birthday present, actually. It's not much, but here." Em felt so silly pulling it out of her bag. The book was carefully wrapped in blue paper. She'd seen Jack Brabham's autobiography in her favourite second hand book shop the week after Monaco and picked it up. Trying to think of a birthday present felt impossible for the man who could have it all. Now sitting in front of him it felt ridiculous to give a Formula One driver a book about one? Stupid. But Dan was opening it so she couldn't take it away.

"It's for me?" Dan asked, oblivious to Em's internal freak out. "Emmy you didn't have to."

"It's nothing. Like seriously, it's nothing. I don't even know what I was thinking when I got it, but you said you wanted to start reading more and I thought it'd be nice."

She took a sip of her drink and looked down at the table for a moment, wanting to give him a couple of moments to act like he was happy instead of just seeing disappointment on his face. Why did she think this was a good idea? Stupid. Stupid.

"You saw this and thought of me?" He smiled as he held it up. A real smile.

"I mean Australian, driver, it made sense in my head. I know it was a stupid idea."

"Emmy it's perfect. I love it. Thank you, seriously. Dad used to tell me stories about watching him drive when he was a kid, he'll love me saying I have this. I love it."

"Glad you like it." She smiled shyly, picking off a piece of muffin to pop into her mouth. "Can I think about the race?"

It was absolutely a lie. She knew she'd say yes. She knew it. There was nothing those brown eyes couldn't make her do.

"Of course you can. But if it helps in any way, I have to say I'd love to see you there." Dan insisted. As much as Em hated to admit it her heart began to melt just a little bit.

[the-masked-ram]

A Perfect Place for a Pet- Kuroko x Akashi x Reader Commission

CW: NSFW, fem reader, poly relationship, pet/master, DDlg, impact play, knife play, some mild mentions of blood, mild breath play, collar/leash play, bondage, dubious consent, yandere, college AU, double penetration, anal sex, vaginal sex, oral sex, voyeurism, unsafe sex, breeding kink, abduction A/N: One of my favorite poly comms to write for the wonderful @crowned-peony. Such a great commissioner as per usual, and seriously it was so fun to write for these two KNB jocks <3 I don't get to write KNB nearly often enough Also I don't normally do this for my pieces but since this thing is a monster I will put the word count WC: 17+k

---

Lunch on campus was never something extravagant. Sometimes it was sandwiches, sometimes it was soup, and sometimes it was something fancy that everyone looked forward to like pasta. But that fancy pasta wasn’t even truly fancy like what you made at home. Still today was one of those days, it was chicken alfredo, and you were thoroughly enjoying the creamy sauce with just the right amount of garlic.

A chocolate chip cookie sat off to the side of your tray, taunting you to hurry with your noodles so you could indulge in its sugary sweetness. Your friends sat on either side of you. People you’d found in the years during your college stay. People who supported you, one was eating a sandwich, one of those ones they made every morning and wrapped up for the day. The other was eating the same plate as you but had a bowl of fruit with it as well.

“So have you seen the new additions to the basketball team?” your friend to the right said.

“The ones who transferred over halfway through last year?” you asked.

She nodded, “They are so fucking gorgeous.”

She squirmed in her seat, and you didn’t blame her. They were beautiful, two men you’d watched from afar with barely disguised lust. Kuroko and Akashi, you’d heard their names in passing, you would never have the bravery to approach them on your own. Though Kuroko seemed friendly enough, he never left Akashi’s side, and that red head radiated cool confidence, so much of it that it cowed you from across the room. But oh, did you wish you could talk to them. You wished you had the pride and the confidence to walk up to them, tilt your head, bat your eyes, and draw them in with an innocent question. Still, you knew that would never be. That wasn’t who you were.

You were soft, shy, introverted though you craved attention. Perhaps you leaned toward being an ambivert. So, often you found yourself desperate for company to combat the loneliness you created within yourself. But that was hard when you so easily got overexerted and needed to recharge at home under a fluffy blanket with a book in hand and some TV show you’d seen hundreds of times playing in the background.

You didn’t realize that you’d garnered the interest of a pair of calculating red eyes.

---

Kuroko had noticed though; it was hard not to when his friend and partner had been distracted. Akashi was never someone who let his attention stray too much from the subject at hand, even if that subject was just listening to Kuroko yammer on at lunch.

Once Tetsuya fell silent though he found his boyfriend’s attention wandering to the side, over his shoulder. Kuroko turned his head, though not even Seijuro seemed to notice him doing it. The taller college student didn’t even seem to be aware that his own attention had drifted. But it didn’t take long for Tetsuya to find the source of his distraction.

“Hmmm, she’s cute,” Kuroko said, his voice was the usual bland tone, but he never said something he didn’t mean.

Akashi blinked and turned his gaze back to his boyfriend before it drifted once more towards you, “Yeah, she is. But that’s not all it is. I just… haven’t figured her out yet.”

“I’ve missed you,” Kuroko said softly, reaching out to trail his fingers across the back of Akashi’s hand. “Maybe we need someone new. To keep us stable, we need to stop breaking up and then coming back together. Maybe… she….”

Tetsuya broke off when the three of you stood behind him and threw away the trash from your lunches. Your trajectory brought all of you right past the two boys’ table. The two girls that flanked you stared unabashedly at him and Akashi. But ever the quiet one in the center, you who had drawn the attention of his partner, kept your gaze ahead, only diverting it from the path you walked long enough to check your planner.

“She’s interesting,” Kuroko agreed and his blue, usually gentle eyes narrowed, showing a flicker of something darker.

“Would you like a pet? Tetsuya?” Seijuro asked.

Tetsuya laughed but there was desire in his expression as he watched you walk away. Your hips swayed and your thighs looked so soft, perfect for sinking his teeth into. It was as if all of you was meant to be bruised by the two of them. It was only too easy for his attention to be snagged once Akashi’s was. There was no reason for him to answer Akashi out loud, because when he looked back into his lover’s red eyes, he saw his own growing desires reflected tenfold.

--- “Who is she?” Kuroko asks from beside him.

Akashi looks at you as you sit across the room at your desk. A smile graces your features, both he and Tetsuya had found their attention wandering to you more and more. Their conversations often turn to you as the topic. Eventually, becoming part of their relationship wasn’t just an undiscussed desire. Now it had been picked apart to the minutia. There was very little wrong with the idea in their eyes. The only problem would be if you said no.

Seijuro, however, knew there were many ways to make you see their view. Yet, he wanted to do the one with the least likely failure rate.

“Do you actually know her?” Kuroko prodded again, pushing past Akashi’s thoughts.

Seijuro scoffed, “Of course I do. I wouldn’t want her otherwise. She’s from my shogi club.”

Tetsuya turned his blue eyes onto you again, curiosity sparking deep within them. The innocence shining on your face surprised him. Why would you be into a cutthroat and manipulative game like shogi? How could someone as bright and happy as you be good enough at it to capture his boyfriend’s attention?

Usually, the only people Akashi played shogi with were either himself or people extremely competitive. Could you be like that? Or was there something about your softness, your gentle energy that had ensnared the redhead?

“Pay attention! This is coming up on the test in a week,” the teacher said strictly, pointing to the chalkboard.

Akashi rolled his eyes toward the information, looked over at Kuroko who was idly writing it down, and then glanced down at you. Your notes were a mess from what scribbles he could see, and you were just adding to the clutter. Your panicked writing made no sense, but perhaps it did to you. He sure hoped it did since the test counted for a third of everyone’s grade. It was the closest thing to a final you’d all get in the class.

“Hmm,” Akashi hummed thoughtfully, and Tetsuya leaned over, trying to see what had caught his attention this time.

He narrowed his red eyes at his boyfriend, trying to move his shoulder out of Kuroko’s space so he could have some breathing room.

“What did you see?” the shorter man asked.

“I think I know of a way to approach her,” Seijuro murmured, resting his cheek on his knuckles as a cruel smirk curled his lips.

---

You were scrambling desperately to gather all your notes together. Now, after everything towered in stacks of paper that threatened to fall at any moment, you needed to find the books. There were so many books, so many you didn’t even recognize the name of. How could you be this unprepared? You’d been in that class from day one, taking notes, scribbling things down that were both important and unimportant.

You sighed as you pulled down another book, your eyes scanned the first page and title when you realized that it wasn’t the one you needed. Just two more books, right? Just two more, you looked down at the paper seeing the other three were checked off.

How had you missed the warning for the test two weeks ago? These kinds of tests were usually given with at least three weeks’ notice. You felt like perhaps that was a day you were sick. Maybe that was a day when the anxiety was crushing you with so much brain fog you felt like you were drowning.

You weren’t sure, you couldn’t remember, and you felt like crying, like tearing your hair out and throwing a tantrum. But you couldn’t, once again, you couldn’t because it was painful to be seen with your lip wobbling like it was now and how your tears were filling your waterline. Your breath tried to hiccup in your chest, but you pushed it down instead, you swallowed it deep into your gut.

“You look like you’re struggling there, Little Rabbit,” a deep voice said from beside you.

You blinked and a single tear tracked its way down your cheek as you turned. A redhead stood next to you, leaning nonchalantly against the shelves. He tilted his head, and you recognized him as the one you and your friends were drooling over earlier.

The sound of footsteps scuffing the carpet beside the two of you caused you to turn again. This time you’d moved into half a circle as you stared at the boy with blue hair that so often seemed attached to this red head’s side.

“Don’t tease the Bunny, Akashi,” the newcomer said and reached out to wipe away the tear drying on your face.

You flinched, nerves flaring up in your mind again. It was like they were wolves in sheep’s clothing. You could see the soothing, innocent façade they put up but something inside you, some instinct twisted, screamed at you to run. You didn’t though, this happened often, this fear of the normal.

Normal… was it normal to wipe away a stranger’s tear? To subtly tease someone for having an anxiety attack about an upcoming test? But… was that what was really happening? There didn’t seem to be any malice behind their red and blue eyes. If there was… it had to be your imagination, right?

That tiny seed of doubt was easily smothered by a fistful of positivity. The desire you always carried with you, to believe the best in people. You smiled awkwardly, fragilely, as if something inside you was waiting to crack and you scrubbed your palm in frustration against the tear track that had already been cleared from your cheek.

“Sorry you had to see me like that,” you said, your eyes wandering back over your shoulder at the tall shelves of books. “I just… feel so overwhelmed this time around.”

“With Stearl’s class?” Kuroko asked, his attention following where your gaze fell.

“Yeah,” you sighed. “I’m just barely holding onto my B in that class.”

You shook your head and disappointment showed in your face. Something dark gripped your heart. Self-hatred, anger, frustration, all pointed at yourself. How could you have let college get away from you so easily?

“We’re in that class too,” Akashi said nonchalantly, examining his cuticles before looking at you from underneath his lashes.

Kuroko looked over your shoulder and you watched his eye flick over the list in your hand before his long fingers pulled out a single book.

“This one has footnotes. It’s easier to understand,” he handed it to you with a bright smile curving his lips, though it never quite reached his eyes.

You looked down at the item in your hands, and then up at the two of them. Suddenly you weren’t scared of them, instead you just felt relief. This made your job just a bit easier.

“I know,” Akashi said slowly, as if he were testing the words on his tongue. “Why don’t you join our study group?”

Gratitude, sheer gratitude, flooded your system and tears threatened to break through your resolve once again. Kuroko grinned wider and this time a spark lit within his dimmed pupils.

“I think that’s the perfect solution Seijuro,” there was a lilt of mischief in his voice that you didn’t pick up.

You were too stuck on trying not to cry as that feeling of overwhelming relief broke away your stress. Your hands shook a bit but all you could do was bow your head.

“Thank you, I don’t know how to repay you,” you murmured.

“Bring some cookies,” Kuroko chirped.

“Play me in shogi again,” Akashi said.

You laughed, it was watery and weak, but it was real. Tension melted away from your body and you nodded in agreement to their terms.

---

It had gone so smoothly, and Akashi leaned back in the chair at the fast-food restaurant with a confident, near arrogant, smirk dancing across his lips. He knew it would happen, but he didn’t realize how effortlessly you would mold to their whims. He watched with affectionately narrowed eyes as you and Tetsuya ordered a second set of drinks at the counter.

You shook your head at something and threw your head back to laugh. It showed off the line of your beautifully curved throat and Akashi’s mouth watered. He wanted to bite your flesh, mark it, bruise it, draw just a bead of blood, and let the world know you were owned.

He turned his attention back to the books and papers spread out on the small table in front of him. He couldn’t let himself lose control in public. He shifted in his seat, hoping the half chub growing in his pants would go down as his eyes began to scan over the study plans, he’d made for you. He and Kuroko were both fine, knew the material down pat, but it was easy enough to act like they needed to study.

The sound of feet squeaking over tile had his attention snapping up to find the two of you walking back. Kuroko held two drinks and you were sucking on a straw that was in a milkshake topped high with whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles. Your eyes were glowing as you smiled at Seijuro around the plastic between your lips. He met your positivity as best as he could.

There was something about the innocence you held so easily in your expression when you looked at him. He felt things he shouldn’t creep along the back of his neck, whispered words he should never think brushed through his mind. But Akashi didn’t push them away. He didn’t ignore them like a sane person would. Instead, he embraced them. He embraced the fact that every fiber in his being wanted to keep you caged, safe, and where he and Tetsuya could have you at their fingertips whenever they wanted.

“We got you something,” Kuroko said, pressing a coke into Akashi’s palm with a meaningful look.

That quiet stare said Seijuro’s intentions were shining through, and he needed to get a handle on himself. He shot his partner a secretive smile and took a sip from his drink to try and get his wandering mind under control.

“Alright, are we ready to start again?” Tetsuya asked with excitement threading through his bland tone as he sat down.

You nodded, finally taking one last sip of your milkshake and setting it aside. The rest of the session went well, just like the other two had before that. Slowly the three of you had moved away from meeting up at the school to meeting up at a public place outside of it. And even more slowly, Akashi was setting up the board to box you in, steal your territory until you had no hope but to bend to his and Tesuya’s will.

As you packed up, a smile of relief curved your lips, and a sigh left you so strongly that your entire body seemed to melt with it.

“I don’t know what I would have done if it weren’t for you two, you know?” you said jovially, as you swung your shoulder bag over your neck and fixed the protective pad into place.

“It’s no trouble for us, really,” Kuroko said, brushing off the gratitude without a thought. “We’d be studying anyway.”

Akashi knew it was a down and out lie, but he hid his smile by taking the straw from his Coke into his mouth and picking up his bag. Kuroko shifted until his backpack sat correctly and the three of you walked out of the restaurant together.

“We just have time for one more meet up before the test,” you said.

“Do you feel prepared?” Seijuro asked.

You shook your head, “I’m not sure I ever will feel confident, but I think I’m as close to it as possible. This last session will just be making sure I have everything locked tight away in there.”

You knocked your knuckles against your skull. Tetsuya shared a look with Akashi, one the red head had seen often but wasn’t quite sure where his boyfriend was going with it this time.

“Let’s do the last session at our place,” Kuroko motioned between him and Seijuro.

Akashi smiled easily. Sometimes Kuroko’s calculating side even surprised him. But he knew ultimately how dark the corners of Tetsuya’s mind could get. Especially when he wanted something, and he could see it in those blue eyes, Kuroko wanted you.

Akashi wasn’t sure if it was as bad as he did, but it didn’t matter, they were both on the same page, which meant they would work in perfect tandem. Just like they could on the court. They were a team that could put everyone else to shame. Akashi would always take advantage of that; he loved having the upper hand.

“You sure?” you asked, blinking up at the two of them as you finished slurping down your milkshake.

Akashi nodded in agreement, “Of course, it’ll make it so we can study longer.”

You fell silent for a moment, your brow furrowed in that way he recognized during shogi matches when there was several moves you could make, and you had to think things over. Finally, though you met both of their eyes and nodded confidently.

As they dropped you off at the bus stop, Akashi watched you leave with narrowed eyes and Koroko waved you away with his signature emotionless face.

“I like her,” Tetsuya said, finally turning to his boyfriend.

“I can tell,” Akashi scoffed.

“Don’t act like you don’t feel the same,” Kuroko sighed as they began to walk in the opposite direction than where your bus had gone.

“I never said I don’t feel the same. But it’s not just that I like her,” Akashi said slowly, carefully. “It’s that I want her. I’m tired of waiting. We should show her how perfect it can be, with the three of us together.”

Tetsuya glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, but slowly a small smile perked the corners of his lips.

“I think you’re right,” he finally agreed, his fingers worming their way between Seijuro’s despite the red head’s dislike for public displays of affection.

Still Akashi didn’t drop his hand, instead he silently squeezed the smaller man’s palm. This would make everything better; you were the cornerstone they needed.

“So, you’re ready then?” Akashi asked.

“You’re being unusually worried about my feelings on this matter,” Tetsuya said.

Seijuro rolled his eyes, “This is something that will change the whole dynamic.”

“Only for the better,” Kuroko whispered, his words carrying the weight of a promise. “I swear nothing, but good things will happen from this.”

Akashi felt a flare of nerves, something foreign to him. He’d seen all the possible outcomes to this. Still, this was so different, they’d never crossed the threshold of bringing another into their relationship. It had always been just them when they were together. Yet, he knew you’d be perfect. You were perfect. Just like Tetsuya was, with the two of you together he would have everything he needed. The both of them would have everything to complete their bond.

Akashi trusted Kuroko’s blind faith in what would happen. Tetsuya had never steered him wrong before.

---

Akashi’s flat was large and beautiful. It didn’t surprise you, though, considering both him and Tetsuya were in America on a scholarship. However, you had learned from Akashi himself the more you spent time with them, that his family was well off even back in his home country.

Tetsuya stayed with him on occasion but there was no inclination they actually lived together full time. The common space was large and open, not even the kitchen was walled off by anything more than the island that served as a table. There were a few aesthetics from Japan but not much. Most of it was art, a shogi board, and a couple sitting pillows around a lowered table where the game sat.

You stood still in the entry way, uncertain if you were supposed to take off your shoes. But when your eyes fell on the shoe rack and then noticed Akashi toeing his sneakers off you got your answer. You were too focused on unlacing your ankle boots to notice both boys give you an approving look.

When you stood up straight, Akashi was already moving into the house and Tetsuya was holding out his hand to you. His face was emotionless even though he had his head cocked curiously to the side. You smiled, comforted by his familiar actions and slipped your hand lightly into his. He gripped you gently and led you over the threshold.

What you noticed strangely was that he didn’t let go of you once the two of you were inside. Neither he nor Akashi addressed it either. They acted instead like it was completely normal.

Your stomach fluttered with embarrassment and your eyes skipped away from them. You felt like Kuroko holding your hand meant something more than just leading you inside, offering your comfort, or even simple flirting. You felt an excited tension in the air you couldn’t name, though you were certain you were just imagining it. At least that was what you convinced yourself.

You pushed your anxieties away, instead forcing yourself to enjoy your time with the two of them even though you were all there to study. All of you took a stool around the island with glasses filled with water as you prepared to tackle the books once again.

It was an easy study session. You knew most of the material already, like you said last time, it really was just about making sure you had it all memorized. Once making sure it was easily at the tips of your fingers, Akashi and you found yourselves around the shogi table playing a game while Kuroko made lunch. It was strange having someone else wait on you, bring you something to drink, make you food, and make sure you were entertained, when that was what you were used to doing.  It was strange but you didn’t dislike it. In fact, you wanted to relish in it.

As the quiet click of shogi tiles hitting the board filled the living room, the sound of something else slowly began to take over. Something from the outside that reminded you of an awful lot of shogi games. Your eyes dragged over to the window just a few feet down the wall. Water rolled outside the glass, it was small drops at first, but within just a minute of you watching it the trails turned fat and the rain became violent. You’d be soaked as soon as you stepped outside.

Your face fell, you could feel the sensation start in your expression and swoop all the way to your chest and then through to your toes. You hadn’t brought an umbrella. Everything in you knew you would be shivering and sopping wet by the time you got home. You didn’t even have anything more than a thin sweatshirt to keep you warm.

Your wide eyes turned to Akashi who was looking calmly at the window. The time you were supposed to leave was ticking closer. You only had an hour.

“Stay here until it stops, maybe it’s a quick passing storm,” Tetsuya said as he placed some late lunch down at the table and Akashi moved the shogi board carefully to the side.

Not a single piece slid out of place, and it reminded you that Seijuro was careful with everything he did in life. He planned everything out. So, this sudden change in weather and you uprooting the rest of his day must have been upsetting him despite him not showing it.

“I’ll leave soon,” you said quickly, starting to make a grab for your bag. “I should leave before it gets worse.”

Akashi turned to look at you, his eyes narrowed, his voice stern when he spoke, “You should stay. At least eat lunch, we will how things look after.”

Your spine stiffened under his intimidating stare, but everything inside you screamed to agree. You wanted nothing more than to please him, to soften his gaze.

“Okay,” you murmured.

A small smile broke out on his face, “Good, Bunny.”

The two words were barely a whisper, but you weren’t far away from him. With no more sound than the muffled torrent outside, there was no way you wouldn’t have been able to hear it. You blinked at him blankly, even though your stomach shivered with an excitement you couldn’t place. A mild embarrassment tried to take over you, but you refused to let it. There was no reason for you to be affected so much, right?

Instead, you forced yourself to turn your attention to Kuroko, whose face was unusually soft, slightly excited, and a smile tweaked his lips, an expression you realized he only showed to those he trusted. An expression you’d seen before. His gaze was on both you and his boyfriend and though part of you was unnerved by both their attentions focused on you, it was wiped away by the fluttering happiness you felt at being under their stares. You shouldn’t crave their affections so much, but with both their expressions so warm, you couldn’t help it.

Slowly, without feeling so much shame and guilt, the three of you worked your way through your lunch. It was a warm soup, something that filled your stomach on the cold day. It caused your lids to lower and a comfortable drowsiness to take over. Your mind slowly fogged and eventually Tetsuya seemed to notice.

“You look like you need a nap,” he murmured as he leaned near you to scoop up the empty bowl.

You blinked up at them and shook your head, “No, I-I’m okay.”

Even to your biased ears though, your words sounded unconvincing stuttered by a large yawn.

Akashi scoffed, “Don’t lie to us, Rabbit.”

Once again, the use of the Bunny and rabbit to describe you. You turned your attention to the redhead, but you didn’t hate the nicknames. In fact, there was a part of you, not as hidden or pushed away into the dark corners of your mind as it should be, that squirmed with pleasure as he said those names and looked at you like a wolf that would devour you whole. You wanted to be that scared little Bunny for him, you wanted to be a fluffy little creature on Kuroko’s lap as he spoiled you and brushed your hair. But you were nothing but a study buddy for them.

You nervously ducked your head until finally you heard Akashi clear his throat and Kuroko chuckle from behind you. Butterflies fluttered around your stomach, erupted through your chest, and you felt like you couldn’t swallow for a moment. You were too distracted from the way heat was scorching through your body and you were desperately trying to keep your gaze focused on your lap.

It didn’t matter though, you wanted to please them, it was such a natural instinct. You couldn’t fight it, and as you felt the heavy weight of both their stares continue expectantly, you finally lifted your eyes.

“Do you need to sleep?” Akashi asked, pressing the issue Tetsuya had brought up.

His red eyes narrowed, and lips thinned, you knew there was no way out of this. You didn’t understand the situation, but you knew they were laying down something. They were both in on a plan that you had no idea what even the basic outline was. The bricks of it were surrounding you and you felt nerves trickle through your veins, making the hairs on the back of your neck stand.

It felt like you were surrounded by hungry and slobbering wolves just waiting for you to break into a run so they could chase you down and devour you. And why did that imagery cause your thighs to squeeze together?

“Yeah,” you croaked, before clearing your throat with a firm nod. “Yeah, I do. Or I at least need to lay down for a bit if you two don’t mind.”

Your gaze cut to the side.

“We have just the spot for you,” Kuroko said, a tiny lilt lifting his usually deadpan voice.

You blinked up at them in surprise, but Seijuro was already standing, holding out his hand to you with a look of passive impatience on his face. Right… right, this was Akashi, you needed to acquiesce to his needs, his desires, or else that switch you’d seen on the courts might flip.

“I don’t just let anyone touch me you know,” he murmured, and you wondered if you supposed to hear it.

He’d spoken so quietly and not once glanced at you after as he led you down the hall, hand-in-hand, that you assumed he was just saying it to himself. Though the thought you’d been gifted something special like physical contact by Akashi was enough to cause your breath to catch. You didn’t realize that wasn’t a common thing for him.

Neither of them talked as they led you to a door. It was across from an open room which looked like the main bedroom of the apartment. You glanced over your shoulder through the doorway at the room that was obviously shared between the two of them.

Soon enough though your attention was drawn back to the closed door in front of you as you heard the click of the doorknob turn. Akashi was stepping through the entry way, and from what you could tell it was just another bedroom. It seemed unused for the most part and with gentle coaxing from Tetsuya’s hands at your back you stepped through the doorway.

The room was not as normal as you first thought. In the corner was a tall cage, dropping from the ceiling and going all the way to the floor. There was gauzy pink fabric laced through the top parts of the bar woven with fairy lights that were colored by the gauze. Inside the cage was a floor futon inside something that reminded you of a bright pink dog kennel, piled high with squishy looking pillows and stuffed animals, almost able to hide the chains and collar.

Your footsteps stopped and your heartbeat sped up. Were you supposed to ignore it? Was this something the two of them were into? You swallowed hard. How did you react to this?

The sound of the door snapping closed behind you caused your head to swipe towards the movement. Kuroko was locking it tightly in place. Panic gripped you and your eyes skipped to the knob, noticing that you would need a key to unlock it. Fear, but… you shouldn’t be afraid of them, right? Yet… they had no reason to lock that door. There was no way to talk yourself out of this. There was no way to defend them.

“Actually, I don’t think… I think I’m just going to go,” you said, taking a step back, towards that firmly locked door. You looked in front of you, with the desperate need to know where Akashi was and realized the red head wasn’t there.

“Now, now, we went through all this trouble to set this up for you, Little Rabbit,” he said, his words being spoken just inches away from your neck.

You could feel his breath roll across your skin and you shivered. Before you could turn, he gave you a hard shove toward the open door of the massive cage and you toppled onto the bed. You huffed out a groan as you felt a warm heavy weight press into your back, coupled by the sharp pressure of something cool and thin against your fragile throat.

You swallowed and felt the prick of a blade. That was the distinct coldness against your throat. You shouldn’t be turned on, you shouldn’t feel your stomach warm, and your thighs press needily together. Warm wetness dripped from your cunt, and you hated that you felt this way. Yet, you couldn’t deny that the dangerous weapon controlling you while the heat of the body against your back was a wonderful contrast.

“Hm?” Akashi’s sinful voice sounds from behind the two of you. “That’s interesting, she’s squirming, but almost like… do you enjoy feeling so helpless, Little Rabbit?”

Tetsuya chuckled lowly, a sound you never thought you’d ever hear from him. It was vicious, so dangerous, teetering on the edge of insanity. You felt the point of the knife spin against your flesh, taunting you. That light prick, the soft pressure warned you what a precarious position you were in. These two men wanted something from you, and your mind could easily fill in the blanks now that your desire to defend them had been brushed away.

It was easy to tell their plans for you were anything but innocent. You just didn’t know quite how dark things would get. And you hated yourself because despite all the unknowns making your stomach knot there was another sensation growing stronger by the minute. The fear mixed terribly with your growing arousal, making heat flush through you and your head grew light, floating away from all rationality.

You swallowed carefully, feeling the knife dig in just a bit more as your throat bobbed. Your fingers dug into the plush blanket beneath you as you felt him drag the flat of the cold steel down your neck to your clavicle. Kuroko’s nose pressed against the base of your neck, and he inhaled.

There was the sound of heavy, calculated footsteps and the jingling of metal from somewhere nearby. You felt a cool touch on your ankles. Cold skin touching the flushed heat of your body, you couldn’t decide if you wanted to welcome it as a grounding sensation or jerk your ankle away. The knife shifted onto its edge just between your breasts and you whimpered.

You felt a light weight and thick material encompass your ankle. That gentle tinkling happened again and then whatever that material was, tightened. Fuck they were cuffing you. You moaned softly before biting it back.

“Such a lovely voice,” Kuroko crooned, his normally placid tone turning sharp just like the blade in his hand.   “Move Tetsuya,” Seijuro said from beside you this time.

You wanted to turn your head. You wanted to see why he was beside you, but you couldn’t. Both your feet now felt heavy and trapped. Yet, there was still the tinkle of metal from where Akashi was. You felt Kuroko shift to the other side of you, but that knife only moved to press lightly and directly under your jaw.

You wanted to swallow, wanted to push back against the chilling feeling of the blade just barely digging into your fragile skin. Instead, you stayed frozen.

Suddenly you were being lifted to your knees and your wide eyes could see Akashi kneeling in front of you. He held a beautiful leather collar, baby pink and butter soft. The buckle had a lock on it, which he held the delicate key to in his hand as he moved around Kuroko’s wrist and carefully slid the fur-lined collar around your neck.

“Perfect,” he smiled, but it was a mixture of affectionate and cruelty as he closed the buckle and locked it close. “The perfect pet.”

His eyes finally met yours and you knew from the way he looked at you, he wouldn’t hurt you, as long as you did what he wanted. As long as you listened to both of them.

Kuroko’s finger traced the line of the leather around the back of your neck, and you shivered, forcing down a whine. Feeling both their attention so heavy and hot on you was enough to override the terror and now all you felt was a squirming desire to be taken. Your mouth watered and your eyes turned glossy, Akashi’s smile sharpened.

“She’s ready,” he said.

That feral lust inside you leapt at the thought that maybe they’d both would give you what you needed, at the same time. Yet, your hopes were immediately dashed as Akashi stepped away. You twisted for a moment, struggling against the chains holding you captive.

A small sting smarted at the spot where the knife was and Kuroko’s voice purred in your ear, “Ah, ah, only when we say so.”

You knew he’d nicked you. It should have made you terrified again, it should have cooled the lust licking at your veins, but it didn’t. Instead, it just fed the flames. They burned harder, ate away at your sanity and begged for more. The tiny amount of pain from that small cut did nothing but make you aware how much you wanted these men. You weren’t sure when it happened. When it grew beyond admiring from afar to this dark sin you didn’t acknowledge until you were quite literally caged in their room. But it was now something you couldn’t escape. You were just as twisted as them.

When they both left you with nothing more than a couple of pets and a chaste kiss on your forehead from Tetsuya, you felt they were stomping on your heart. That they were pouring cold water over your head. They were leaving you. Immediately you stood to follow them, but the chains rattled noisily just within a few steps. You swallowed and the lust disappeared, the realization you were truly captive dawned on you.

“Stay here, be good,” Seijuro said from the other side of the bars as he locked the cage closed. “You won’t want for anything while you’re here with us.”

You didn’t deny that everything he said wasn’t a lie, that he meant every single word. You wouldn’t need anything, they would fulfill your desires, your needs, and possibly give you things you’d never known you wanted. From the way both their eyes dragged over your form before they left, you knew they wouldn’t leave you alone for long.

You turned on the spot, your eyes roving the space they’d created for you once again. The futon looked so soft despite the fact it was stuffed into an even smaller cage, you hadn’t been able to truly appreciate it before and when you crawled into it you luxuriated in the way it cradled you. How the blankets in it were both fluffy and silky, and how you had more plump pillows and stuffed animals than you could ever want or need. The pillows and plushies actually spilled out the small door onto the floor.

You pulled out a lamb that fit perfectly in your arms and before you knew it the weights around your neck and ankles no longer felt strange and uncomfortable. Instead, they easily became soothing and welcoming, they made you feel something you never knew you needed, you felt owned.

---

“She’s perfect, you were right,” Tetsuya sighed, nearly melting into the chair of the living room.

“I’m always right,” Akashi responded with an arrogant smile.

“What should we make her for dinner?” Kuroko asked, his placid façade back.

“You want to celebrate, don’t you?” Seijuro frowned.

“Don’t act like you don’t want to Sei,” the smaller of the two said, a spark of mischief glowing dimly in his blue eyes.

It was so hard for most people to see emotions in Kuroko unless he let them. But Akashi had known him long enough, soon you would too. Akashi was certain there would come a time where you would be like this with the two of them. Where all three of you could be in the same room, you could stay unchained if you wanted, though maybe he’d keep that collar on you, you looked good in pink.

Days passed, just a few but Akashi was certain it felt like weeks to you from the way you kept asking about school, about when you’d be let out. You promised you wouldn’t run away, he scoffed when you said that. You had no reason to, you were fed, clean, didn’t have to worry about paying rent or doing homework or studying for tests, you didn’t have to worry about socializing beyond with them. You lived without stress and instead were pampered.

Kuroko made sure you were well fed, and he made your favorites regularly, Akashi bathed you and brushed your hair, and just as you’d stopped asking to leave the cage, just as you’d started to adjust was when things changed. Akashi had planned it that way though. He wanted to keep you on your toes, just like with shogi.

The two of them walked into your room and Kuroko produced the key with a flourish. They didn’t hold anything beyond a bottle of water, and you looked up from your coloring book with a curious head tilt.

“Hi!” you squeaked. “Why… what’s going on?”

Kuroko snorted out a quiet laugh from beside Seijuro. Akashi however, rolled his eyes, you were still a little shy. However, after today’s experiment, perhaps you would open up more. If not then, it would only take a little more time, they would make sure of that.

“Don’t be so shy, Bunny, we aren’t going to eat you,” Tetsuya teased, his darker side coming out to play. “Well, not if you don’t want us to. I’m sure you taste delicious, though.”

His gaze raked over you and even Akashi knew how invasive it felt to be under that lustful stare. Though Kuroko tended to submit to Seijuro, that didn’t mean he didn’t crave his boyfriend. And when Tetsuya desired someone, he made it known.

The room was heavy, thick, the air so humid with sin it was hard to breathe. From the way your breasts jumped with your heaving breaths, Tetsuya could tell you felt it too. Neither of them had to say anything, just the way they stared, the way they moved into the larger cage and circled around you, made you instinctually aware of how vulnerable you were to their wants and needs.

Yet, from the way you didn’t move more than to your knees, the way you tilted your chin up to expose your delicate throat despite the knife Kuroko had held to it just a few days ago, and the way your eyes softened, Tetsuya knew you wanted this just as much as they did. His fingers twitched at his side, hungry to touch you, to explore your soft curves.

Something was exchanged between the two of them. Akashi caught Tetsuya’s eye and he watched the movement of his boyfriend’s hand as he motioned silently to you and nodded once. You stared, unwilling to ask the question that likely lingered upon your tongue.

“You sure?” Kuroko asked.

“You’re always gentler than I am,” Seijuro smiled, though there was a tinge of bitterness in his red eyes.

Your attention bounced between them. There was a slight frenetic energy in the way your fingers twisted around each other, but that was the only sign you were truly nervous. Seijuro wasn’t sure if you were just ignorant or brave. Did you trust them? You shouldn’t, though they would never intentionally hurt you, their motives were far from pure.

Tetsuya turned to you and crouched onto your level. You looked so small, so soft, and he wanted to grip your thick thighs and plush breasts. He wanted to bury himself in your cunt, in your scent, and surround himself in your flesh.

“Will you watch?” he asked without looking over his shoulder.

“Of course,” Akashi responded, and your eyes darted over Kuroko’s back to watch the other man sit down. “Focus on Tetsuya.”

His words guided you to look back at the blue haired man in front of you and forced you to wait. At first, he just stared at you, taking your breath away with the intensity of the emotions he so often held back. His hands lifted then, touched your jaw, gently thumbed the small scab that was the result of his blade, and he smiled apologetically.

“I’m sorry things went so far. I got a bit excited last time,” he murmured, his breath ghosting over your lips. “I promise to take things slower this time.”

You nodded, unsure of what you were agreeing to, but you knew you wanted to put him at ease, “Of course. I trust you.”

Did you? Did you really trust him? Tetsuya searched your features for a moment, looking for a lie laying beyond. He found none, so he praised you with a kiss. It was chaste at first, testing the waters. Yet when you didn’t pull away, when you didn’t fight, he pressed his tongue forward to trace the seam of your lips. You opened your mouth on a moan and he eagerly took advantage to taste you.

Strawberries, you’d been eating some sort of candy that tasted specifically like artificial, too sweet strawberries. It fit you. You were sugary, luscious, a fruit waiting to be picked. Waiting to be sampled by him. His tongue swept forward in long hungry licks. You felt like he was claiming you even more than the chains and collar had. You felt like he was taking over every part of you.

Not just your tongue, not just your mouth, but your teeth, your breath, he stole every word you could possibly speak or any sound you could make. He took your thoughts like they were nothing but wisps of air for him to inhale. You were nothing right now, but an object created for him. You were his pet, and he would split you open and show you just who you belonged to.

The sound of Akashi relaxing against the chair behind him pushed Kuroko to tilt your head when he placed his palm firmly around your skull. He encouraged you to open wider for him, to give him more. Every shiver that escaped you he claimed with a curve of his lips. He pressed closer until you were leaning back, until eventually you were laying down and he was balanced on his forearms above you.

He finally broke away from you and the way you looked at him, the way your chest heaved with shallow breaths and your breasts brushed against his shirt, had his hips grinding against your thigh. His knee found purchase between your legs so he could roll the length of his leg along your cunt, watching your eyes roll and your hands grasp for an anchor. He became that safety in the storm that was growing inside you. You held onto him for dear life, and he watched as your lids fluttered in a desperate attempt to stay open.

“Give in,” he breathed, his voice a raspy growl because, goddamn, you were beautiful.

You shook your head, “I want…”

You swallowed heavily; he could see the bob of your throat as it worked around words you couldn’t bring yourself to say. Your eyes met his defiantly, though your lids were half closed and heavy, you refused to do as he said. He smirked and tilted his head, intrigued by your sudden desire to fight him on this.

“What do you want?” Kuroko pushed.

You gulped again and he watched as your strung-out mind searched for the answer he was looking for. He watched you struggle for a bit. There was a part of him that enjoyed watching you want to please him, he bet Akashi liked it even more. The sadist.

“I want more,” you finally answered. “I need you.”

Did you even know what you really wanted? Tetsuya felt like he knew what you needed more than you did. He could see it in your fluttering gaze and parted lips. You wanted to feel more, you wanted to know who you belonged to. You wanted to be owned even more than you already were.

“You need this,” he corrected and sank his teeth into the thick muscle on the side of your neck.

At first you stiffened under him, whimpered, before going lax and moaning. It all happened within a handful of seconds, and it was enough to make his mouth water. When Kuroko was certain there was a strong set of teeth imprints on your flesh, he moved lower, lapping over the stinging skin before dropping to the lingerie you now wore all the time.

You’d been gifted a lacey pink and white baby doll for the first bath. It was Tetsuya’s preference. The one you wore now, with black and red trim was Akashi’s. You never wore anything different unless you got cold, then often you had a set of knee-high socks and a robe of some sort. But always a set of lingerie underneath. Therefore, their collection had grown exponentially.

You looked beautiful underneath him, wrapped up in sinful colors with a lustful sheen to your eyes. He dropped to the swells of your breasts and sucked a dark mark into each of them, something that would turn into a bruise, something that would blossom into another sign of ownership. Those too were surrounded by his teeth prints, like macabre rose petals painted on your skin.

Seijuro shifted behind Kuroko and though he didn’t say anything, Tetsuya could sense his impatience. There was a reason, Akashi had told him to go first. Though he could exercise patience, especially when he wanted to and when he won something out of it, with you in front of him, his foreplay would be far less gentle than Kuroko’s.

Tetsuya scraped his teeth down your sternum as he opened the lacings in the front of this particular baby doll. It made for easy removal. The fragile cloth fell away, opening up and sliding down to bare you to him, catching around your shoulders.

“Look at that,” Kuroko drew in a sharp breath, shooting you a look under his lashes. “Such a perfect picture, all splayed out for me.”

Akashi clicked his tongue.

“Ah, sorry Seijuro, us. For us,” Kuroko smiled mischievously above you.

He was doing this on purpose, dancing along the line of pressing Akashi too much and not enough. He wanted to see if his boyfriend would break, would he eventually drop his own rule and join them when he couldn’t take it anymore? Kuroko wanted to see that. Some petty part of him, dark and hidden away, wanted to see Akashi shatter because he never did. Seijuro was constantly composed.

Even now, when Tetsuya looked over his shoulder, he saw the aching erection in Akashi’s pants, something that the other man resolutely ignored. Instead, his chin balanced on the knuckles of his hand as he observed you and Kuroko intently, refusing to miss a single second.

Tetsuya turned back to you when you wriggled under him, impatience beginning to take over your sounds and slowly a slight, yet persistent whine began to crawl up your throat. He chuckled and leaned back to land a sharp smack on the top of your thigh. You squeaked and instantly fell silent.

“Remember, I know what you need,” he growled.

Akashi hummed his approval, and he watched as Kuroko nearly basked in the small sound. It was interesting because Tetsuya never let himself go like this with anyone but him. A small part of Seijuro was jealous, just for a moment, before he remembered both of you belonged to him.

His fingernails dug into the arms of the chair, into the flesh of his palm, as Kuroko leaned over you and dragged the pads of his fingers up your thighs until he could press them back. Your knees touched your chest and exposed your always uncovered pussy to the air. You shivered and your legs naturally fought back against Tetsuya’s hold, until his palm cracked against your ass.

“Stop squirming,” he hissed.

All that softness that he’d shown earlier had disappeared like smoke in the wind. Now it was harsh, madness unprotected by the fluff of affection. You shuddered under the heat of his strike and nodded, your eyes glistened with tears at the corners and yet that crazed excitement that drove Tetsuya in these times caused him to bounce back with a smile.

“Good,” he purred, rolling a wet tongue over the sting of his handprint. “I just want you to let me take care of you.”

People always assumed Akashi was the most unhinged of the two of them. Yet, when Tetsuya truly let go, Seijuro almost wondered if he was worse. Was it all the holding back? Did it just drive him to the brink every time, making him almost lose his mind once he finally acted like he wanted to?

At his words Akashi saw you relax under Tetsuya. Every desire to fight left you. It’s like you turned to a melted puddle of putty. Still moldable, still handleable, but so much more accepting and welcoming of the touch that wanted you to listen. Tetsuya sighed into the crook of your knee as he placed your ankle of his shoulder.

His movements turned to lax and lazy, and he dragged his wide hands over your curves. He relished the sensation of your plush and soft skin. His eyes focused on yours, devouring the way you couldn’t quite meet his stare but wouldn’t look away completely either. You were stuck somewhere in limbo, glancing occasionally at his eyes, his lips, and the bob of his throat.

He ducked his head, licking his lower lip as his palm dragged up, only stopping long enough to heft the weight of your breast in it and then thumb your nipple. Then it slipped along your sternum until he gently wrapped it around the soft part of your neck, just under your jaw, and used a small amount of pressure to force you to tilt your mouth up to meet his.

---

Yet, Tetsuya stopped just half an inch short of pressing your lips together. He stopped and hovered above you, letting your breath mingle, letting his eyes get lost in yours, and letting this strange intimacy build until it felt like you were drowning in the weight of it. It was strange. The passion in the breadth of a minute was headier than the kiss just moments before. Was it the waiting? Was it the yearning? You couldn’t reach out though. You wouldn’t. You knew better than to ask. You wanted to wait like this and let the desire build just as much as he did.

You swallowed and Akashi cleared his throat once more, and finally with a smirk quirking his lips again, Kuroko kissed you. You moaned, loud and unabashed into it. Your voice was so strong that it broke past the barrier of your fused mouths. Tetsuya couldn’t swallow it all and that made his movements all the more eager. His hand left your neck, his tongue slipped past your teeth, and his fingers trailed to right above your clit’s hood.

Your hips bucked slightly of their own accord. You whined desperately, fingernails finding his shoulder blades and scrabbling to find purchase and an anchor within his flesh. He hissed and pressed further into you until you were certain your joints would pop and maybe your bones would break. However, if this was how you would crack, if this was how you would die, smothered by love no matter how twisted and dark it was, you were happy for it to happen.

Finally, his touch gave you what you needed. It circled your swollen nub experimentally, searching for the pressure, the stimulation that would have you squirming and screaming and so out of your mind not even his words of reprimand could control you. Not even Akashi would be able to control you.

It wasn’t hard for him to find it either, it seemed like within seconds he was pulling breathless words from you, “Oh god, oh Tetsu. Please more, there, don’t stop.”

It all ran together and was barely coherent, he’s pulled back to watch you through his beautifully thick eyelashes. It was perfection to feel the weight of his gaze. But you wanted, no you needed more. You looked to the side, to where Seijuro sat and one of those hands that was grasping at Kuroko reached out to him. It begged for his attention.

“Akashi,” you whispered, still too scared to say his first name out loud.

His eyes had never left the two of you, you had his attention. Yet, you wanted more, you were greedy right now. You wanted his touch, his kiss, and to feel his breath.

“Please,” you murmured hoarsely.

It was barely loud enough for him to hear, but with the only sound your labored gasps and the clicking of your slick as Kuroko worked over your clit, Seijuro tilted his head curiously. You knew he’d heard you just fine. He smirked.

“Not yet, Rabbit,” he responded.

You shivered as he used that name, as his gravelly voice stroked over your heated skin. Goosebumps rippled over your flesh, and you cried out as you came. It wasn’t too hard, but you knew with the sensitivity it brought it would only be a matter of time before you were orgasming again and again, and harder and harder.

Kuroko grinned, “Isn’t he mean?”

He burrowed his lips into your neck again, only to trail down your skin to different places leaving kisses in his wake. A trail of heat and cooling saliva caused more bumps to jump to the surface only this time on your ribs where he lovingly placed nips and tiny kitten licks.

You could feel it all in hyper definition. It was too much, your nerves burned, they sparked with lightning, too much sensation bounced between your skin and muscle fibers, and you just needed it to stop for a moment. Your hips shifted away from his seeking fingers, still plucking at your clit. Yet Tetsuya didn’t relent. He wanted to hear you moan and scream more.

“Tetsu,” you breathed harshly, your fingers curled into your palm, and you pushed your closed fists against his chest.

You wedged your hands in against his broad body and insistently pressed against his hard muscles. You needed a moment; your mind and body were frying. You felt like you were catching fire, your lungs couldn’t bring in enough oxygen and there was a prickling sensation in them.

“Tetsu!” you cried insistently.

Akashi growled, “Listen to her, Tetsuya.”

Kuroko sighed and pulled back, and though he was obviously against giving you a break, concern etched between his brows as he observed your distressed features. There was a moment where a hiccupping sob tried to tumble past your trembling lips. It tried to rip another cry from you, but Tetsuya kissed your temple, lingered there and you could feel him inhaling your scent.

“Sorry,” he murmured into your hair. “I got carried away.”

You shook your head, “It’s okay. Just… too much. Want it inside instead.”

He pulled back, considered your face again, looked over at your lone observer and then looked at you again, “Yeah?”

You nodded firmly, blinking away the sting of tears. He murmured his affection, kissed down your soft stomach and then ended at your sticky cunt. He spread your lips and you once again tried to close your thighs around his head, so aware of the two pairs of eyes on you. Kuroko didn’t let you though, instead he spread you wider, lifted your hips off the ground and lapped over your twitching hole without a warning.

You sucked in a sharp breath, it was almost too cold for your lungs, you were worried you’d start coughing. Yet, his tongue was slipping inside your clenching walls soon enough, stealing any oxygen from your chest that might have caused a problem. Instead, your back arched, lifting your hips further towards his mouth and you cried out in approval as your hand immediately fisted in his blue hair.

It was so warm, so slick, his spit only adding to the mess you’d made of yourself. A frothy mixture of his fluids and yours covered your labia, covered his lips and chin, and Tetsuya only seemed too eager to lap it up. His tongue curled inside you, probing and searching for any spot he could reach that would make your eyes cross. He was too good at this. Your toes curled in pleasure, and you tugged at his hair, bringing him impossibly closer to your skin, smothering him in your scent and between your thighs. Kuroko would happily die here though.

Sparks shifted behind your closed eyelids, that tension in your body snapped and you ground down against his tongue. Gasps shuddered from your chest, pulled by his talented mouth and you finally, finally felt everything drifting away from you. All your worries, at least for that moment, right after the peak of your climax.

Soon your walls had opened again and stopped convulsing with tiny shocks of the vestiges of your orgasm. He could sense it too because right when you widened and relaxed a bit more he pulled back despite your whines and desperate manipulation of his head. He curled one arm around your thigh so he could hold you still, and then pushed his other set of fingers into you.

Two at once, filling you but then he added his slick tongue to your sensitive clit. Steady strokes, pressing intently until you were rolling your pelvis against his face, chasing that sensation more and more. Akashi chuckled and your tear coated eyes sought him out. His cock was so hard you could see the imprint through the bleary vision you currently had. It was thick and heavy, pressing insistently against his jeans. Yet he didn’t touch himself, he tilted his head, still carefully perched on his knuckles and narrowed his eyes at you in a strange mix of affection and approval. The way his attention sank into you like Tetsuya’s teeth had done just moments before, it pushed you closer to your next peak.

Then you looked down at the man between your legs, who had been watching the exchange with sparkling and observant eyes. You could feel the curl of his smirk against your pussy and knowing that both their stares were on you was all it took to have your muscles bunching too quickly, too soon. Everything grew sharp, near painful within your body, but then it snapped and pure pleasure washed over you. It was white hot and enough to suck your breath away.

Your entire body curled into the waves of your orgasm. You bucked against Tetsuya’s mouth and experienced fingers as they dragged more and more sensations from your body. Burning satisfaction filled you, and you screamed wordlessly with the feeling. Electricity shot up your spine, filled your mind, and when you closed your eyes, you could see the leftover static of it behind your lids.

He dragged more and more contractions from your walls until finally you thrashed and pulled away from his pliant hands. He let you go this time without a fight. Every look, every touch, was too much right now. You curled in upon yourself and shuddered into your aftershocks. Slow breaths filled your lungs and you looked dreamily at Kuroko as he leaned back and flicked opened his pants with practiced ease.

You watched through slitted eyes as he dragged his pants down his pale legs. Tone muscles and deep hip dips greeted but your gaze was greedily drawn to the slender yet long cock in front of you. The tip was flushed the palest pink and it was slathered with sticky precum, excitement caused it to pulse visibly under your observations. You couldn’t stop yourself from licking your lips, swallowing down the saliva pooling in your mouth.

He manhandled you into position, shifting you until your pelvis was pressed up against his and the length of his dick could slip between your slick lined labia. Your breath hiccupped in your chest, and you whimpered.

“Oh,” you squeaked, unable to do more than mouth the rest of what you were going to say when Tetsuya caught your clit.

He huffed in response. His body tensing and his head falling back on his shoulders, and he relished the feeling of your heat for just a minute. The two of you were so close to being connected and you understood exactly how frustrating and yet soothing this was. The was drawing it out just a bit longer prepared you a little more for the actual act.

His length dragged over your sensitive skin again and again until you thought you were going to go crazy and finally, he dipped down and began to push inside.

“Fuck,” he hissed, something so uncharacteristically Kuroko.

Tetsuya didn’t curse much even when holding a knife to your throat. Now though… when he was splitting you apart and your tight hole was working to accommodate his length it made you shudder. His girth wasn’t massive, but it was enough to make your muscles seize and your thighs tense.

“Let me in, Bunny,” he breathed, his arms falling forward on either side of your head so that he was pinning your legs back up to your body with his chest.

He buried his nose in the crook of your knee, as if desperate to find something to anchor himself. You wondered if the soft skin of your leg and your scent did that for him. You spasmed when he pressed forward too fast, and a whine of discomfort left you which dipped into a low moan of appreciation once your body finally relaxed. Now your walls were wide open and welcoming for him, sucking him inside, hugging him tight and refusing to let go.

You pulled in a breath, shivering as he finally sank in balls deep and groaned when you fluttered around him. Your body approved, your soul approved, and you found yourself falling for these depraved men more. Perhaps they were right. Perhaps they knew what you needed more than you did.

Kuroko pressed butterfly kisses along the back of your knee and just at the start of your thigh, “It’s like you don’t want to let me go. Feels so good.”

He was nearly slurring his words; it was so unlike his usual self. For a moment it boosted your confidence, long enough that you reached out to card your fingers through his hair, affection in every single movement. He leaned into your touch with a sigh before pulling back so he could rock his hips.

He started slow, he rolled and hitched his hips in different ways. He was looking for more of those spots that caused you to gasp and moan and clench. You could tell he was concentrating on your reactions from the way his brow pinched and the way he did everything methodically. It reminded you of the look he got on the court.

Then you felt it, that sensation of his cockhead dragging wonderfully across the spongey spot inside you. It had you nearly choking on the sound that pushed out your throat. It was a strangled cry that dipped into a low groan.

His head tilted and eyebrow arched, then he very specifically imitated the same thrust. It caused flames to lick across your skin and your nails to sink into the sheets below you.

“Oh f-fuck!” you screamed. “There!”

He grinned, “As you wish.”

You should have known from that laughter that danced in his expression that you’d asked for your downfall, but you were too far gone. All you wanted was more of that toe curling pleasure that seemed to be eager to build.

Tetsuya lifted himself away from you a bit, just enough to have you whining but then he set a brutal pace, something that could only be described as being fucked. Something that made you forget about everything but the cock pistoning in and out of your poor sloppy cunt.

“Should have done this ages ago. Should have moved here just for this perfect pussy,” he breathed. “Akashi was right. You’ve been what we were missing.”

You wanted to answer him, you wanted to do more than just gasp and moan or even scream him praises. You wanted to say you were missing them too. That this was what you needed too. He was right, they were right, they knew exactly what you wanted. It was them.

You couldn’t though, you were a slave to the burning sensations causing your cunt to froth and clench rhythmically around Kuroko’s cock. For a moment you had the sense of mind to turn your bleary eyes to Akashi once again. You could barely make him out, but you knew from what you could see, he had not moved. His chest was heaving just a bit more, his pale cheeks just slightly flushed, but that’s all that had changed.

He didn’t speak, he didn’t draw attention to himself. Yet his presence was impossible to ignore. The heavy weight of his lustful gaze dragged over the both of you and when your back arced as Tetsuya pressed in at a particularly delicious angle, Seijuro let out the softest groan.

You answered back instantly. A guttural moan ripped from your chest, leaving your throat aching and lungs trembling. Your thighs twitched in Kuroko’s grasps right as the grip of your pussy snagged him tighter than ever before. You came with a high-pitched cry. Your body snapping into a sharp bow and your breath wringing from you.

“Oh god, oh god,” you whispered hoarsely in between grunts.

You humped as much as you could against Kuroko, chasing more of that delicious sparking sensation. That feeling that had you creaming nearly endlessly on his cock. Tetsuya shouted, curved over you and through your pleasure-narrowed eyes you saw his tendons tight against his skin and his skin blushed red. He bit his lip, fucked hard into you until his movements became sloppy and then pressed himself against you tight.

That’s when you felt his length thicken impossibly more, kicking within your walls as warm cum filled you to the brim. You shuddered, another small orgasm sinking its sharp teeth into your oversensitive body. You squeaked out a whine and twisted away from him only to be held still as Kuroko thrusted forward and back, pushing the last of his seed deep inside you.

“Mmmm, bred you good, didn’t I little Bunny?” he murmured, pressing a lazy kiss to your lips.

His deep blue eyes were soft, sleepy, and completely different than how he had been looking at you before. All that existed in them now was satiated warmth, love, and the desire to rest.

“Don’t sleep yet,” Akashi said, and the sound of the chair cushion squeaking let you know that he had stood.

Your brain was too foggy to register much other than the need to have him fill you up as well, because his erection looked painful caught in his pant leg. He glared at you though when you weakly reached toward him.

“No,” he said firmly. “Once you two are a little more coherent, we’ll clean you up.”

There was no anger in his voice, just expectations to follow his demands. So, though your lip wobbled, you nodded.

Two days passed and eventually you were allowed out of the place you’d learned to call home. The cage was no longer the only space you were allowed to roam. Akashi and Kuroko permitted you out as long as they were home and oddly it felt welcoming, warm around them. It was comforting being surrounded by their presence in a domestic atmosphere.

You helped Tetsuya make dinner and Seijuro managed to convince you to play a short game of Shogi. You watched with fascination as his eyes lit up with every tile that was placed. Those moments made your new life seem more normal. Until night fell at least.

You were led to the bathroom where Akashi sat you down in front of the mirror. For someone who was so brusque and cold, he sure seemed to love to pamper you. With a brush in hand, he stood behind you and began to work the teeth between the strands of your hair.

Each stroke of his fingers over your head, every time his touch curved around the shell of your ear, had your eyelids drooping. Soon you were wobbling on the seat until eventually an exasperated sigh came from the man behind you and he gripped your jaw tightly.

“Stay awake,” he growled, forcing your gaze forward into the mirror.

His lips had dropped just beside your head causing his breath to rush over your sensitive skin. You shivered, goose bumps raised over your necks and throat. A sigh rushed from between your lips as your head rolled back, exposing your pulse to his mouth, surrendering.

He chuckled; it was so low it caused that shudder to roll over you again. It caused lust to sink into you, thick and hot like lava, but dark like molasses, trickling heavy through your veins. The feeling made you weighted, made you limp and pliable and you fell into his grasp so easily. His arms encircled you, propped you up on the chair you’d been sitting on as his lips dragged over your flesh openly. They were soft, like petals, something that surprised you.

“Akashi,” you breathed.

“Seijuro,” he corrected firmly. “It’s about time you started calling me that.”

He murmured into your skin. You felt the tip of his tongue against you as he talked. It was soft, warm, and wet. It made your entire body stiffen, your clit throb, and you whined. You couldn’t believe just a week ago or was it longer now, you had been afraid of what these two would do to you. Now you were giving yourself over willingly.

“You are so needy already. After getting fucked dumb by Tetsuya just a few days ago? Aren’t you a high maintenance one,” Akashi grinned against your neck.

You could hear the smirk in his voice just as much as you could feel it. You whimpered, hips shifting, thighs tensing, looking desperately for friction that didn’t come.

“Ah, ah,” he reprimanded, smacking the sided of your leg. “Don’t even try to get off without my permission. I mean, honestly… why would I let you play with yourself when you have both of us so willing to play with you instead?”

“I’m sorry, S-sir,” you stuttered, your eyes fluttering.

He hissed in pleasure, “That sounds good coming from your mouth. Yet… perhaps there’s another term you want to use. Something… that maybe you are holding back?”

“Daddy,” you whispered, hesitant.

“That’s it, good girl,” he purred wrapping his wide palm around your delicate throat gently.

Your body became his weight to support, you didn’t try to hold yourself up. Instead, you were too focused on the way his eyes caught yours in the mirror. The way his lips trailed over your ear now, how he watched his own reflection pull sinful sounds from you.

“Are you ready?” he rasped. “Ready to take us both?”

You sighed, squirming in his grip for a moment at the thought, “Yes.”

“Perfect. I’ve been waiting. It was so hard holding back last time, you know,” he breathed.

It didn’t seem like it was. Even as he spoke those words and told you it had been, it didn’t seem like he had suffered in any form. You, however, had laid awake at night thinking of it. Wondering what it would have been like if he had joined in.

“You didn’t have to,” you responded, honest to a fault.

“I will always make sure you are safe with us,” he said, dragging the blunt of his teeth over the shell of your ear.

You keened, shuddering in his grasp, rolling your hips and your desperation made him huff out a laugh. His fingers tightened just enough around your throat for you to gasp, for the pressure to be noticeable, and his glittering red gaze looked back at you with keen interest or was it mischief. He knew what he was doing, how he was affecting you. Not that you were being exactly subtle, you couldn’t be, you needed him so badly.

His hand left your throat, trailing down over your clavicles, tracing the dip in between them. He touched the skin stretched tight over your sternum, exposed by the lingerie you always wore inside the apartment. Your breathing sharpened, so much so it began to burn in your throat and then your lungs. You couldn’t bring in enough oxygen, even without him holding your neck.

You finally tilted your head to look up at him and he looked down at you, his eyes scanned your face just long enough for you to bring in three shallow and shaky breaths, then he claimed your lips in a near painful kiss. His teeth nipped at yours hard enough you knew they’d bruise. He pressed his tongue past your teeth, fucked it in nice and slow until you felt like you were completely his in just a couple seconds.

“Come, let’s get back to the bedroom,” he growled, scooping you up into his strong arms.

You allowed him to carry you, not struggling so as to make it easier, eagerly nuzzling into his neck but refraining from tasting his skin like you wanted. It would have been so simple just to lick a stripe up his throat, yet you knew you couldn’t. He would reprimand you. You knew he would guide you in the dance about to come and you would have to listen to his every command. Just the thought had prickles of excitement pebbling over your skin.

He huffed out a laugh, staring at you through slitted eyes as he sat you down on the futon you called your own.

“Tetsuya!” he called.

Within seconds there was the sound of pounding footsteps and Kuroko was running around the corner. He stopped, frozen for a moment as he took in the scene. You strewn out on the blankets and Akashi with a half-hard on standing above you. Instantly that feral darkness swallowed his usually dull and yet somehow bright personality.

“Oh,” he breathed, with enough tension laden in that single sound that it rolled over your body tangibly.

“Strip,” Seijuro demanded, his gaze firmly locked on his boyfriend.

Tetsuya flushed a deep red but instantly responded, his long fingers carefully pulling his clothes off his body and folding them neatly on the floor. This was a routine they’d obviously done many times. Once he was stripped his cock was already thick and hard, curving upward and pearling with precum. You craned your head, curving your throat to be more exposed so that you could see the delicious sight.

It was interesting how subservient Tetsuya had turned at just a single word from Akashi. The heavy air made your thighs press tight together.

“Come,” Akashi said and held out a hand to the other man.

“Yes, Sir,” he responded, almost seeming to flash to his boyfriend’s side.

“Keep our little Bunny busy while I get ready,” he murmured, looking down at you with eyes that said you would never be ready for what they had planned.

“Happily,” Tetsuya responded, licking his lips.

He dropped next to you where you stayed still like a good little pet. You were promised a good time, that they would take care of your every need, all you needed to do was listen. So that was what you did, sometimes without even being told.

“Such a good Little Rabbit,” Kuroko breathed, gripping the tresses of your hair hard enough for it to sting slightly.

You gasped and writhed, “Oh god, please.”

“Yeah,” he agreed with approval and claimed your mouth with his.

The kiss was softer than the ones Akashi took from you, but they were sloppier, less restrained. Spit slicked your lips and his tongue slipped as far back as it could. You melted under the onslaught, turning into a literal puddle.

He moved over you, straddling your entire body with his and rutting his aching dick against your plush, lace covered stomach. The tacky fluid rolling down his length coated your lingerie, guiding his thrusts. He didn’t stop kissing you for a second, and in fact it was so deep that your lungs were beginning to scream from the lack of oxygen. They burned, your head spun, and it was oddly addictive, knowing you could pass out at any second just because he wanted to taste your mouth so badly.

Your fingers raised up to curl into his broad shoulders, your nails cut into his pale flesh and that caused him to finally pull back with a groan. His head arced, exposing the fragile column of his throat as he soaked in the pain you created with your sharp nails, thrusting against you harder.

Akashi moved to kneel behind Kuroko, in between your legs, you could see it just over his shoulder. He pressed his fingers lightly against your slick slit, testing your readiness. One finger sunk into your pliant cunt as his thumb pressed steadily against your clit, you gasped, and your hips jerked upwards.

“Stay still, both of you,” Seijuro growled and instantly, Tetsuya stilled.

It was like Akashi had yanked on a set of strings binding Kuroko, a set of invisible strings that tightened and kept him painfully still. His muscles tensed above you and his breath stilled so much that you had to search for the rise and fall of his chest. Shallow, desperate to please, but in his eyes that gluttonous hunger never left, in fact it only seemed to grow with Seijuro’s demand.

You took a little longer, it took several deep breaths, a whimper, before your trembling legs could widen and stop.

“Good,” Akashi cooed and that approval in his voice had your blood singing happily.

Akashi was skilled, his fingers twisted and curled until he touched any part he could reach, until he found spots not even you knew about, ones made you gasp and fight to writhe. The wet squelch of your arousal filled the air and Kuroko whimpered when he looked down at you, his cock jumping against your skin in restrained excitement.

Soon another of Akashi’s thick fingers was splitting you open, and you keened, your breath leaving you in a gasp. Yet then there was the sound of a lid popping open followed by soft dripping. Then you felt a gentle finger traced lower over your perineum, slipping between the plumpness of your cheeks and then circling your puckered hole. You hissed at the sensation, body jumping at the foreign sensation while Akashi’s other hand kept pumping in and out of you, dragging throaty groans from your chest.

“That’s it, you’re taking it so well, Little Rabbit,” he praised, as his first knuckle breached your ass.

You stiffened, only brought back down into a melted puddle once again when his thumb slick with your arousal swiped over your pulsing clit. In fact, he was so good at distracting you with the hand fucking your pussy that you barely felt his finger press fully to the bottom. You were just aware of the pressure and stretch. It wasn’t bad, it didn’t hurt, it just made you feel fuller.

It was harder to breathe somehow, even with how little you had inside you. Kuroko bent over you, tapped the side of your face and you turned your glazed eyes toward him.

“It’s alright, Bunny, soon we’ll both be inside you. Just like you wanted,” he murmured and then kissed you hard.

You moaned low, all words beyond you now. Only choked inhales and sounds of pleasure were within your grasp, and so you kissed Tetsuya back with desperation as if he could anchor you. As if the air he was feeding you could steady your mind as it spun when Akashi curled his fingers inside both your holes.

You were so fucking hot and dizzy. Your nails scrabbled at Kuroko’s hair in fear you might float away. It was addicting. Finally, you tore yourself away to cry out as Akashi added another finger to your puckered hole and rolled your clit aggressively beneath his thumb. It was too much, so good, but too much and you squirmed, unable to stay still like he wanted.

“I can’t,” you whined, trying to shift away but held down by the weight straddling you and the heavy hand on your hip.

“You can and you will,” Akashi corrected.

His words shot through your body, causing you to become pliant with your next breath. Kuroko rewarded you with a bite to the neck, a lick to the throat, and then his mouth latched to your pulse point. Akashi’s fingers became more insistent, demanding as they sought out every spot inside your holes, places you had never explored yourself. You squealed, which slowly tumbled into a throaty groan when your orgasm slammed into you, no warning only violent spasms as you fought to rut into his hands but were unable to due to the insistent pressure upon your body.

Kuroko’s teeth which still snagged at your skin, claimed pieces of you over and over again, before finally delving back to your mouth, adding an addictive mix of pain with pleasure. You couldn’t do this anymore; you couldn’t hold onto your sanity. So, you offered it up to the two of them. Silently you gave into their demands and let them take you apart piece by piece.

And Akashi did just that. He pulled more and more pulses from body, prolonged your climax until finally you were left panting, unable to reciprocate Kuroko’s wild and messy kisses.

“Tetsuya,” Akashi said sharply.

Instantly the shorter man stiffened and looked over his shoulder, his lips glistening with your saliva.

“Get the collar and the leash. It’s about time,” Seijuro’s gaze was firmly locked on your fluttering entrances as you squeezed around his fingers desperately.

Then you felt an intense tension again, the addition of a third finger in your ass. You breathed sharply, and though you still remained soft under his guidance, you looked at him through teary eyes.

“You’re going to take us so well, Little Rabbit,” he promised.

All you could do was nod, “Yes, Daddy.”

Because really, who were you to deny him? Who were you to deny either of them? They’d shown you where you belonged, what you needed, and they’d given you everything.

Kuroko was beside you again and, in your delirium, you hadn’t even realized he’d left. The stretch in your holes had taken the place of the weight he’d left on your body. Making it hard to breathe no matter what. Causing your chest to shudder with each breath.

He held in his hand your collar, beautiful, thick, pink leather with heart studs decorating the sides. The leash was matching and connected to a thick d-ring. You were never allowed to remove it yourself. Yet Akashi or Kuroko always did when taking care of you. Tonight though, you knew this was important.

A slight ache had you whimpering as Seijuro slowly withdrew his touch from your body. Suddenly you missed that fullness, instead you now felt so empty. You hated it, you wanted something more. Despite the fact that you were just complaining that you couldn’t take it anymore, you realized you wanted that sensation. You wanted to feel overwhelmed and full to the point where you couldn’t think straight. You wanted to feel like you might rip in two while these men held you together.

Kuroko scooped you up into his arms, while Akashi took the collar from his fingers. You accepted the manhandling; you couldn’t think of anything else you wanted more in that moment. Yet before you realized it you were being settled against Tetsuya’s torso as he laid down, his long cock laying in between the cheeks of your ass.

Seijuro was still completely dressed and after wiping the lube from his hands on his trousers he began to pop button by button of his dress shirt open. It was slow, tantalizing and his eyes narrowed, glittering with the knowledge that he knew exactly how needy you both were. Kuroko’s fingers gripped the soft flesh of your waist rhythmically, occasionally thrusting gently against you.

Eventually slivers of pale skin gave way to planes of it, until the cotton of Akashi’s clothing was sliding from his body like water rolling off. It was beautiful and something you would have paid to have painted if you could. Especially when he looked up at the two of you through his lashes and knew he had your undivided attention.

When his lower half was bared, it made your walls clench with anticipation. He wasn’t as long as Kuroko, but he was thicker. He’d make you sore afterward and you finally realized why he’d been so careful. If he was as rough as he said he’d be, with Tetsuya taking you at the same time, you truly wondered if you’d make it out the other side.

Your legs which had been splayed on either side of Kuroko’s began to close as if to protect you from the though, but you felt a pair of strong hands wrap around your thighs from behind and hold you open.

“Nuh uh. No hiding, pretty girl,” Kuroko breathed against your ear, groaning when he thrusted once more against you, sliding down from your ass in between the apex of your thighs and his cock pressed through your slick folds.

Akashi stepped closer, each movement he made was controlled and calm. He leaned down and your body naturally stiffened even though the heat of Kuroko and their mixed scents was nearly enough to lull you back into a false sense of security. Yet, he didn’t do much, he just gathered your neck in his hands, forced your jaw back with firm pressure and then carefully buckled the collar in place.

The heavy weight, the familiarity of it soothed your mind almost instantly and when Akashi gently tugged on the leash you gasped, and your muscles quivered in anticipation. He pulled on it until your head tilted back and the leather tightened on your neck, your eyes fluttered and you squirmed.

“She’s ready,” he muttered.

Kuroko licked a stripe along your jaw as he spread your legs wider and shifted so the soles of his feet were on the ground. You felt the prod of his blunt cock press against your softened asshole.

“Remember to breathe for me, Bunny,” he whispered and then rocked upward into you.

At first you forgot that reminder of his. Everything was just pinpointed on the pressure of him entering you, the sting that was just enough to have you whimpering and tightening up. Tetsuya hissed behind you and groaned lowly. Tears pricked your eyes but then there was a distracting something, the soft, slippery touched of something warm on your clit. You looked down to see Akashi watching, his hand still gripping the leash tight as he lapped at your bud until finally you gasped in some oxygen, and both sets of your walls fluttered open for Kuroko.

“That’s it, good girl,” Kuroko moaned as he pushed further and further inside you.

So full already, that’s all you could think of. How you were impossibly full and yet you needed to take another one. You watched as Akashi’s fingers pressed back inside your cunt, rolling through your slicking and rubbing against Tetsuya’s cock through the thin membrane of your flesh. Kuroko gasped and bucked his hips slightly, his hands shook on your waist, and you gasped, squeaking out in a delirious mix of uncomfortable pleasure with the movements.

“Just focus on the feeling,” Seijuro guided you, his deep voice wrapping you up in warmth.

His tongue kept working over your clit, short circles that had your body trembling excitedly as he worked a second finger into your tight entrance. Kuroko wasn’t moving but you could hear his breath puffing from between his lips, you could feel it against your neck. He was holding himself back, letting you adjust and a feeling of burning affection caused you to loosen more.

Finally, you felt Kuroko bottom out and he sighed, pressing a lingering kiss against the junction of your neck and shoulder.

“Move, Tetsuya. I need to see if she’ll take you well,” Akashi demanded.

He groaned and immediately complied. You heard the squelch of your own fluids mixing with the lube as his cock rocked in and out of you. At first it was just strange, not as bad as it could be since that overwhelming sensation of being stuffed was oddly something you craved. But then as your body began to grow less sensitive to the pain and Kuroko shifted, there was a pulse of pleasure, something sharp enough, deep enough to pull a guttural moan from your throat. It was mixed with enough of a growl that it caused a lingering ache and soon you were moving with Tetsuya, seeking that feeling. You wanted more.

Your nails sank into his forearms as he wrapped them around your torso. It was strange having them talk like you weren’t there, like you couldn’t answer for yourself, but maybe that was true. Words were beyond you right now. All you could think about was how much the stretch satisfied you, how the sting was fading faster and faster, and how your vision was blurring. You wanted more.

One of your hands released Tetsuya and he hissed right by your ear, his hips jumping out of rhythm for a moment as the pressure eased on his arm. You reached towards Akashi’s cock, hard and flushed, dripping precum but too far away for you to touch. You whined; your tongue too heavy to speak. You needed to say it. You needed to tell him that you were ready.

Your hand shook as Seijuro grinned, and Kuroko’s pace picked up though his thrusts remained shallow for now. Akashi rolled your clit a bit harder, and it was torturous, you didn’t want his fingers anymore.

“Nnn,” you tried to communicate, you thrashed your head from side to side and wiggled in Tetsuya’s grasp.

“I know, baby girl,” Akashi said finally.

Then he moved, closer, his leg moving over yours and Kuroko’s, so his cock was brushing your wet cunt while he withdrew his hand.

“I know,” he groaned and pushed forward.

It was too much instantly, and your body tried to pull away.

“Ah, stay still Bunny, you will get used to it,” Kuroko groaned, stilling his movements.

You could feel him shudder under you as you split apart on Akashi’s cock. You cried out, your hands flying to Tetsuya’s arm once again and sinking in with a vengeance. His hips jumped slightly at the feeling, and he growled.

“Oh fuck,” Akashi breathed.

He swore so little, but you were feeling it just the same. Those words you couldn’t say were now spilling from your lips in a string of expletives.

“Fuck, fuck, w-wait,” you squirmed. “W-wait please. Dammit.”

Akashi did, he paused but not because you asked. You knew he was pausing because he could feel you tightening down on him like a vice. You knew even in the haze of pleasure surrounding him, he was thinking about you. He bared his teeth in a snarl and hung over you like a man possessed. His red eyes stripping you bare. You felt like offering up your soul to him to feast upon.

Kuroko pressed frantic kisses and snagged your skin with his teeth. Impatience filled his every movement and you felt it through his flesh. You felt it in the way he trembled and mumbled against your sweat coated body. His tongue flicked against you, lapping the salt away with reverence, even as he waited for you to voice your acceptance of both of them.

Then you felt it, your body fluttered and with a gentle encouraging brush of Akashi’s thumb against your clit, and a deep exhale from you, it opened. Your walls relaxed and then tightened once again but not nearly as tight as before. No, this time it was greedy and gripped him just enough to have him pushing forward until he was pressing his hips against yours.

You shivered and a whine ripped itself from your throat. Oh, it was delicious, still a bit too much, still a bit overwhelming, but you couldn’t think, couldn’t worry and wasn’t that what you always wanted? Your head was too full of them, of the sensation of being pleasured as Tetsuya slowly retreated and dragged along every good spot inside you, that you couldn’t even form words anymore. Once again, the possibility of speech fled from you, and you didn’t give a damn.

They moved slowly at first, finding a rhythm between the two of them where you were always filled with at least one. Kuroko retreated and Akashi pushed forward, then they switched it around, again and again until you weren’t sure how you would ever piece your fractured psyche back together after this. How had you survived before this? Without them, without feeling this separated from your conscious and being this loved and coveted?

You struggled slightly in Kuroko’s grasp and Akashi’s palm pressed against your sternum. His beautiful lips formed a word, yet before he could say it the sound was torn from him, replaced with a moan instead as he thrusted into you. You could feel both of them brushing across each other, feel them rubbing against that fragile skin between them. It felt like all three of you were one.

Moans and curses tumbled from your lips; screams erupted when they hit a particularly wonderous spot.

“Oh,” you shuddered. “Oh. My. God.”

Kuroko chuckled behind you, though it was breathless, “Sing more for us. Fuck. So good.”

He groaned, nipping at your ear. His teeth were a bit too sharp, his tongue not soft enough to soothe the sting, but you didn’t care. You were spiraling and you weren’t sure if it was up or down.

“That’s it,” Akashi urged, his voice breathless, shaky.

Your twisted, and the words you would normally say in warning were nowhere to be found as your body convulsed so violently you felt them both hold you down harder. Your orgasm burned through your veins, hot and gluttonous. It ate your nerves up until you felt raw even as it was still be dragged endlessly from you by their relentless pace. Oversensitivity welcomed you into its embrace soon enough. Their movements never stopped though and they were so greedy, with the way their hungry words stroked over your skin and Kuroko’s panting, or Akashi’s gaze ate you alive.

You knew they wouldn’t last. Not with how thrashed Seijuro sounded and not with the way Tetsuya’s pants had turned into high pitched, and needy whines. Akashi’s hand reached out as your body calmed into satisfied twitches and gripped the pale blue hair of his other partner.

“You’re going to cum for me, aren’t you?” he growled, his body flexing and arching with strain as he fought against moving faster than you could take. “Going to cum like a good boy.”

That’s all it took for Kuroko’s thrusts to become inconsistent, losing the rhythm as he chased his high in a few quick, violent fucks. You felt his cum warm you, slickening his still sliding cock as he worked himself towards overstimulation.

“Good boy,” Akashi turned his red gaze to you. “And you are such a good fucking girl. Taking us both. I’m going to breed you now Bunny, fill you up until your so full you have no choice but to carry our brats.”

Your cunt fluttered at that thought and he laughed, the sound sharp and winded. His hand found your neck again and with the tightening of the leash looping further around his fingers, and his palm resting heavily on your collar, it was a welcome pressure. You didn’t even realize you were going to cum again, when you actually did. All you knew was it felt like too much, like your body was desperate to get away. There was too much sensation and then warmth spread over you, interspersed with sparks of electricity zapping up your spine to your brain. Unfurling like a blooming flower that had your body spasming. You couldn’t breathe at a point, and you worried about passing out, worried about missing the ecstasy that would paint Seijuro’s face. So, you fought the darkness at the edge of your vision even as your body twitched, and exhaustion dragged at your limbs.

Akashi grunted, his faced pinched and teeth grit in a look of pleasured agony. You felt his cock kick inside you, so aware that you had what seemed like an impossible amount of cum inside you now. That you were sore and fucked out and couldn’t think beyond the fact that you needed it to stop, but it was too good, and you never wanted it to end. Conflicting thoughts warred within you, none gaining the frontlines.

It was only when they’d pulled out and you felt the warmth of a washcloth over your body, you were painfully aware of what had happened. Warm cum rolled out of you, only to be chased away by two hands carefully practiced movements. They wiped your entire body clean. They pampered you. They adored you as they looked down upon your absolutely wrecked body.

“You’re perfect,” Kuroko said.

“You’ll always have a place with us,” Akashi added.

Dreamily you looked at them, watched as they washed you clean and tucked you in bed. You should be horrified, you should want to leave, all of this you knew. Yet all you could do was snuggle deeper under the covers, smiling as you thought you’d found your perfect place. A perfect place for a pet like yourself.

[lizzybeth1986]

Saffron Sugar, Turmeric Spice

Book: Perfect Match

Pairings: f!Hayden x poly m!MC (Basil Park), f!Hayden x f!OC (Nilukshi Sigera). Implied Sloane x MC.

Summary: Sage and Basil have been in an open relationship since that moonlit chat in Berlin. He's a free agent - so is she. It's an arrangement she's grown to love...but is Sage ready to to fall in love with more than one person?

Word Count: 3,720 words

Note: I mention a comet named "Comet Hasegawa" in the second part of the fic. This is a fictional comet modelled on Comet Nishimura (C/2023 P1) which was spotted this month and won't be seen for another 400+ years.

Old Fashioned Ice Cream, the sign reads, a fairly-large four leaf clover gracing the right corner. Mashti Malone's is practically an institution here in LA - with its pastel interiors and its quaint, old-world charm and the heady, rich, floral scents of Persian bastani. Sage can't resist taking in a deep breath everytime she enters this place. Although today...today she does it less for the pleasure of all these sweet scents, and more about keeping herself calm.

It feels like only yesterday that Basil brought her here for the first time, two years ago. To will away a bit of their nervousness about catching hold of Winona Johnson, he'd said.

And it did help. Every fear they'd had that she would laugh in their face, would throw them out, would never even listen...all of it melted away when the delightful coldness of French Lavender ice cream hit her tongue. Basil had playfully swiped a tiny spoonful of his orange blossom scoop on her nose. You could almost taste the promise of so, so many honeyed nighttime kisses in their laughter that day.

Mashti Malone has been their most-visited place in LA, ever since. Sometimes with the Candy Bombs (Damien, Alana and Khaan still grimace collectively at the name), sometimes with Sloane and Kim. But more often than not, it's just the two of them. Her spending an extra three minutes at the counter, taking in the rainbow-range of colours and gleefully tasting samples; him sitting back on his chair to watch her, ice cream sandwich in hand and a twinkle in his eye.

This is a place Sage never tires of exploring, and she always leaves it with a different flavour. It was Persian cucumber the last time, a burst of freshness that soothed and invigorated her sense all at once. And before that, the crystal glow of rice noodles against creamy, rose-scented vanilla, their signature faludeh. And way before that, the treacly unctuousness of date ice cream, so rich she had to take a full pint home.

Basil's order has always remained the same. Bastani Sonnati, offered to him the minute he shows his face at the door. From time to time they take bites of each other's ice creams; the smell of saffron and rosewater is familiar, and divine. This man sticks to his favourites - a principle he applies only to food, Sage thinks to herself, giggling quietly.

Today she finds herself in need, desperately, of the sunny-hued comfort of Basil's bastani. She wants to crack the wafers of the sandwich open, watching as the ice cream stretches and pulls apart. She wants to breathe in the floral scents of rose and saffron, feel the pistachios break in a satisfying crunch between her teeth. At this point when she wants to tell Basil her wish to explore the unknown, she finds herself seeking the comfort of the familiar. So she orders her own Bastani Sonnati.

"Baby," There's a teasing fondness in Basil's tone, as if he knows she has something in her mind that she's struggling to tell. "Something's up. You haven't said a word since we've got here."

Warmth creeps up her neck. Basil knows her too well for a man she's been dating for just two years.

"Um." Sage begins, fake-clearing her throat, " remember that time you and Sloane went to DC to visit Kim, and I took up that rock climbing tour at The Gunks?"

Basil grins. "Yeah...six months ago, right?" She nods as he continues to speak, finishing off the last of his wafers. "That may have been the first time I heard you gushing about Dr Madison Eckhart, but it sure as hell wasn't the last."

She smiles and mock-punches him on the arm, shaking her head as he steals a bite of her bastani sandwich. "You would, too, if you'd seen her normally sweet mouth come up with the most creative ways to shade a cocky guy," Sage tells him, giggling at the memory before she mimics Dr Eckhart's lilting but remarkably steely voice, "Get your head out of your armpits and listen to what I'm saying for once, Greg you asshole!"

For a minute, she almost forgets what she was intending to say, simply basking in their shared laughter. But then the strongest memory she has of that excursion resurfaces - silken brown hair whipping around a weatherbeaten face...almost like a reel in her head that she has watched too long on loop - and the warmth climbs up her neck again.

"So...uh. I met someone there."

"Oh?"

Basil tilts his head slightly, his eyebrows raised in an expression of mild interest. She searches his face for any traces of doubt, or judgement, or jealousy, and finds nothing but curiosity and...a brief flash of excitement? Either he's a very good actor or what she's clearly about to say doesn't sound as transgressive to him as it has to her.

She's been worried that he'd ask her - like he did two years before when she'd moved to her own flat - if her feelings for him have changed. Whether she's lost interest. Basil has identified himself as polyamorous for years, and she and Sloane have had his version of "The Talk" more times than they could collectively count. Don't be ashamed of wanting to be with other people. Openness is key. Honesty is key.

Back then they'd listened carefully, sincerely, but neither understood why any of that needed to apply to them. Sage and Sloane will always love Basil - for all he is and for all they've learned from him - but personally, they could never envision any sort of future with anyone else. And that was fine.

But now Sloane has started to show a sliver of interest in Alana, and as for herself...well.

"Earth to Sage." Sage can barely hear Basil's soft, laughing voice over the clamor of her own thoughts. It sounds like heaven, now more than ever.

All through this little trip, Sage had taken care. Touches. Kisses. The nicknames they use only on each other. An admission like the one she's making today could be taken the wrong way...and never, never, not even in a million years - not even after they are dust particles and rusted metal beneath six feet of earth - would she want Basil to ever believe the impossible. That her love for him would stop.

She puts what remains of her ice cream sandwich down, and steals a glance at him. Crinkles of laughter around his eyes, a corner of his mouth tugged upwards. A corner she will always want to kiss.

So he does know. He does trust her.

"There's a picture of her from that trip," Sage says, biting back her own smile, "You wanna see?"

"Mmm," he puts a hand over hers. "but let's get home first."

The trip back to Nadia's friend's place takes fifteen minutes but feels like hours, and they both drop with a thud on the couch rather than actually sit.

Sage has to slide the lockscreen upwards to unlock her phone. They both share a secret smile: the picture on the lockscreen is a silhouette of two people kissing, against the backdrop of a moon so abnormally large and golden that you would assume it was photoshopped in, if you didn't know what supermoons were. Only they (and Sloane, who gleefully clicked this picture just minutes before Sage took a similar one of her and Basil) know that it was real, that it was taken last year, that it's them. In this cozy, slightly messy sitting room - much like the one they own at home - Basil's hand moves from the small of Sage's back to cup her shoulders, and his head leans against hers.

The picture she shows him doesn't seem like much: a young woman, long brown hair loosely tied back, her dusky skin taking on a golden glow from the light of the afternoon sun. She's still wearing her climbing gear, her helmet on the rock beside her, her smile both tired and full of mischief. It reminds Sage of the very first time she looked at the woman - windswept hair whipping around her face before she tied it up and put on her helmet - and fell head over heels in love.

Sage had felt the gut punch of that realization the minute their eyes met - knew it was love with a terrifying certainty that was at once not at all like the way she fell for Basil, but also exactly like that.

Basil studies Sage's face for longer than he looks at the picture, his smile soft and knowing. "What's her name?" he asks as she flips through her gallery in search of other pictures, lacing the fingers of her other hand with his own.

"Nilukshi," She finds what she's looking for - a picture of the both of them against the backdrop of a stage. Sage sitting over a crate strumming guitar, Nilukshi singing, her hands spread out and her feet apart, her face a portrait of pure joy. Even here, in this quiet, cozy living-room sofa, far from the chaos of that stage, Sage relives the moment she realized they were both auditioning for the same play, just two weeks after that excursion. How their eyes locked for several skips of a heartbeat once they were done. "Small scale production for Rent. We were jamming on Seasons of Love backstage."

He chuckles. "Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes...how do you measure, measure a year." His voice is pitch perfect, as usual, and Sage has to bite back the urge to finish the verse with "Measure in love, sweet love". This is not the right time for an impromptu acapella.

But he turns serious a minute later, adjusts himself slightly to face Sage. His brows furrow in that way they do when he asks a question they both know will have answers that scare the shit out of you. "Does she know you're..."

"Yeah. I told her about Eros. It...didn't go as badly as I thought."

He sighs in relief. "Does she know about us?"

"Yep." It was funny how that was the harder conversation to have. Nilukshi's face had been studiously blank when Sage told her about her boyfriend, her hands shoved deep into her pockets. At least for the first five minutes. But the words "open relationship" loosened her up for some reason, and suddenly her gorgeous, long, artist's fingers were stretched out in front of her, eyes laser-focusing on them as if checking out her brand new manicure was the most important task in the world. Cool, she'd said, her voice almost squeaky, cool.

Basil's other hand lightly rubs her arm, encouraging Sage to sink into his embrace. "Did you only realise you wanted to date her now?"

She shakes her head, flushing. "I wanted to believe it was just a crush, not gonna lie. I just didn't think having my feelings returned was possible till now."

He frowns, almost like he's going to say it isn't like you to lack confidence in your charms, Sage. "Why not?"

Sage sighs, slowly inching forward and kissing a corner of his mouth. She looks down, training her gaze over their fingers tangled together.

It hasn't been easy, reliving the last five months of pining and awkwardness and just...the tendency to get ten times clumsier in Nilukshi's presence. Or reliving the last five months of tension and worry and (maybe misplaced) guilt, hoping against hope that she wasn't doing her relationship with Basil an injustice by getting even one step of this revelation wrong. But she'd still do it all over again - for him and for Nilu. For the two people who own her whole heart, the one that doesn't even physically exist in her body.

"Didn't think she'd be interested. Thought it would be a thing I'd tell myself to get over at some point. I'd have told you straightaway the moment I thought I stood a chance." Her eyes are darker and more shadowed as she raises them to meet his. "I did okay...didn't I?"

She feels the rumble of soft laughter from against her as he pulls her closer. "Oh honey. You did better than just okay." Sage sighs softly against his mouth as he draws her closer. "You were perfect."

His hands cup her face, his nose nudges softly against her own, making her giggle. The flavour of the ice cream they'd just shared half an hour ago lingers on his tongue. A bouquet of saffron and rose and clotted cream, coating her palate and making her feel like she is lying on a bed of flowers, sunlight streaming in rays of butter-yellow down her hair.

--

Two weeks later

Nilukshi is here before time at Brooklyn Bridge Park: binoculars, mat, amateur astronomy 101 booklet, backup garbage bags and snacks at hand. Chose tonight because of the new moon, she whispers excitedly. Even in the pitch dark, Sage can see her eyes light up as she approaches.

Comet Hasegawa is best seen in the early hours before dawn, where the sky is dark and unfettered by the thick veil of New York smog, preferably with no moonlight to obscure the intense glow of the stars. It was discovered only last month, by the Japanese scientist it was named after, and they have just this month to capture it in its full, emerald-green glory. This Saturday is the last time it will appear in the night sky. It'll take another 500 years for anyone on Earth to ever catch sight of it again.

Sage knows this because Sloane told her. Because Sage and Basil may have joined her in her backyard stargazing sessions, her trips to the planetarium, taken turns gazing into her humble home telescope just for the smile that lights up her face afterwards...but somewhere along the line they started to look forward to stargazing. Cherish it. Treasure it. It had become their thing.

Nilukshi had stared blankly at Sage the first time she'd yapped on and on about space - something stupidly jargon-y bullshit about Mercury's greatest elongation and seeing Jupiter at opposition. It got so embarrassingly obvious that she was confusing her crush that she'd apologized and backed away, whispering to herself since when did you become such a fucking nerd, Sage!

Nilukshi knows the basics. Orion. Meteor Showers. Total solar eclipses that make the sun look like an enlarged diamond ring; a nighttime sky at noon. She's the kind that would sit out even the major astronomical events because she's so used to city skylines veiled in smog. She, of all people, wouldn't have the time to squint at the night sky searching for constellations and planets.

And...and she set this up. Probably looked up this month's (maybe even this year's) calendar of astronomical events on Google, checked out amateur stargazing clubs, did her research, figured out the perfect timings, the perfect place, even the perfect gear. Chose a suitably dark night where they would need only binoculars. Sage has been through enough of these kinds of trips to know how much work goes into one like this.

And the way she sneaks glances at Sage, from underneath those impossibly long eyelashes of hers, you could tell that the success of every minute of this picnic will hinge on what Sage's own face gives away.

Nilukshi did this. For her. Dove headlong into this...this thing that she barely knew much about before they met, for her.

Goddamit. It should be criminal for that hum beneath her skin - the one that usually tells her that everything in her body is in tip-top shape - to keep running this...this normally. Not when her brain and her soul and her (mechanical) heart feel so out of whack.

Ignorant of the way Sage's thoughts are running riot, Nilukshi rummages through her backpack, not stopping until she takes out a ziplock bag filled with crispy, yellow, star-shaped snacks.

"Koki," her teeth gleam in the darkness. "Amma made these for me when she came over to visit last week."

Sage nods. She remembers Mrs Sigera from the first time she'd come with Nilukshi to the backstage area of the theatre, meeting the cast, clicking poloroids of them all on her cute pink FujiFilm. Sage can almost imagine Nilukshi's features maturing out to look exactly like her mother's when she reaches that age - warm brown skin with faint lines showing, fine crinkles around those wonderful brown eyes, streaks of grey peppering her dark wild hair. She shouldn't hunger for that sight the way she does now - the way she did when she first imagined Basil and Sloane and herself, rocking gently on armchairs, their wizened gnarled hands on her still-youthful ones, watching sunsets - but she does. She does. She wants all of those images to combine and become the truth of her future.

The rice cookies break apart in a satisfying crunch against her teeth, before dissolving into a sweet-savoury blend of coconut milk, and turmeric, with the slightest hint of red chili. The turmeric is perhaps the most prominent flavour - peppery and bright, slightly bitter and earthy and balanced out perfectly with a bit of sugar. If she were to guess, it's the turmeric that gives the koki its distinctive yellow glow, pretty much the way saffron stains Basil's favourite bastani this exact golden hue.

They sit together in a silence that feels both comforting and way too heavy, pretending to focus instead on the emerald glow of Comet Hasegawa, Earth's guest for only a few days before it disappears for another half-millennium. Sage points to the constellation of Leo it passes across; they both smile, recalling the surprise birthday party Dr Eckhart and her team threw, mid-August, for Nilukshi at their rock climbing gym. The comet looks like a streak of glow-in-the-dark phosphorus paint, brushed against the canvas of the sky.

Nilukshi has packed more food than that - maybe too much for this trip - but it's the kokis Sage keeps coming back to, their sweet-saltiness and that mild nuttiness that likely comes from the sesame seeds hidden beneath the surface. She eats slowly, conscious of Nilukshi's expectant gaze.

"Man," Sage whispers, "I could eat my body weight in these, they're so good. Don't tell your mom."

Nilukshi tears her gaze away from her, swallowing as she gazes again at the comet. "Amma only makes them for special people in our lives...and we don't have that many. She'd be pissed if I gave those kokis to anyone else..."

If Sage had any ability to think before she said that, it disappears completely when she hears what Nilukshi says next. "...if I didn't give them to the girl I've fallen so hard for." Fuck. Fuck. Holy shit. She'd been hoping and wishing and terrified of this moment and now it's... "The girl I want to spend the rest of my life with."

Nilukshi says the last one in a terrified whisper. She looks down now, at the grass. Her fingers tremble as they fiddle with a loose thread on the mat.

"Since when?" Sage can barely breathe.

"Since the minute Dr Eckhart dragged Greg Jones' arrogant, trip-sabotaging ass, and then someone let out a belly-laugh that made me think it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard."

Slowly, swayingly, as if they're both in a dream, Sage inches herself towards her, whispering her name like it's a prayer. Balances herself on her knees, cupping her left cheek, making her look up so Sage can bask in the mixture of desire and fear in her eyes. Her fingers have combed through Nilukshi's hair often enough in her dreams that their softness against her fingertips feels like coming home. Sage feels Nilu's breaths turn shallow as she traces a line of kisses, from temple to jawline to corner of mouth, before covering lips thinner than her own. But the moment Sage's tongue brushes hers, Nilu sighs and almost sinks into her. As she is ready to be absorbed into the pores of Sage's skin, if that's what it takes to get closer.

On Nilukshi's tongue she tastes the creaminess of coconut milk and the slightest dusting of sugar, the light heat of the chili powder and the welcome, golden bitterness of turmeric. She tastes like heaven.

Sage can't bear to move away - even as their lips part - so she keeps her forehead against Nilukshi's and her hands buried in her hair.

"You too?" Nilukshi breathes.

"Goddamit, Nilu. Since the minute we met."

"What about..." Nilukshi flushes and looks away.

Sage understands perfectly, smiles softly at her. "Basil knows. He'd probably cuss me out if I didn't stop moping over you and actually do something about it. I bet he'll get along with your mom like a house on fire."

Nilukshi lets out a watery giggle, then gasps as they stop talking altogether. They kiss again, and again, and again, moaning as Nilukshi catches Sage's lower lip with her teeth, as Sage grabs fistfuls of her dress so she won't fall over.

In the sky above them, Comet Hasegawa is close to completing its journey across the constellation of Leo, ready to continue its path across the universe and out of the solar system. Neither Sage, nor Nilukshi, nor any of the people Sage has loved or will ever love in the future, will see such a sight again in their lifetime.

In their minds, that comet has already passed, already streaked its way through their orbit and faded in relevance. All that remains is starlight and quick gasps and hushed kisses and the taste of spicy-sweet kokis.

Tomorrow, Sage promises herself. She and Nilukshi will need to talk, once this afterglow has faded and they have to think about the reality of their situation.

This is a first for Nilukshi, just as the relationship with Basil had been a first for her. Like Sage, there are going to be things that will scare Nilu. And like Basil, Sage will need to take on the lead a bit. Will need to ask the right questions, say the right words to reassure her, read her body language and listen to her voice and understand at least a little of what Nilukshi's boundaries are. Will need to ease her into the realization that as long as they're honest, as long as they trust each other...this will be okay. They will be okay.

Sage breathes in the smell of fresh grass and rice-coconut cookies, smiles at the stray thought of Basil looking at her, with that proud grin, raising his mug of coffee to her like he's making a toast. Baby, you did perfect.

Tomorrow, Sage promises herself, as the comet they came to watch slowly inches its way, half-seen, out of their orbit. There will be other starlit nights, other fantastic things to see and experience together. They will have so much of tomorrow left to savour.

For tonight, the kisses they share will be magic enough.

--

References:

Basil is my polyam MC, and he dates everyone in the group. Sloane and Sage, too, wind up having other relationships and the three of them live together in the current timeline of this fic. Sage is the Adventurer Hayden (Mysterious, Rebellious, Humourous and Impulsive) but she sometimes showcases opposing traits due to the Double Ripple Effect.

Mashti Malone - A Persian ice cream shop, v popular in LA. I used this video about them as a reference

Bastani - Iranian ice cream which is golden and made with saffron, rosewater and pistachios. Bastani Sonnati is the same, sandwiched between wafers.

Faludeh - A traditional Iranian cold dessert similar to a sorbet. It consists of thin vermicelli-sized noodles made from starch in a semi-frozen syrup containing sugar and rose water.

Koki - An all-time favorite Sri Lankan deep-fried snack made specially during festivals such as Sinhalese and Tamil new year, weddings, and ceremonies. The basic Kokis batter is made of rice flour, salt, turmeric powder, and coconut milk.

Sage's lockscreen in this fic (of Basil and Sage's silhouettes against a supermoon), is a reference to the next fic I'm writing, Harvest Moon

Yes the Dr Eckhart I mention here as the rock climbing professional trainer is Madison from The Freshman. I HC that she went on to do her PhD in Volcanology and runs adventurer courses. 😄

Tagging @choicesficwriterscreations for FoTW, and @choicesseptemberchallenge2023 for Day 14: Poloroid Picture/Clicking special photos of S/O(s) and @choicespride for Bisexual Awareness Week

Tagging @haydenyoungappreciationweek and @sazanes for HYAW 2023 for Day 2: Relationships

[liquorisce]

Do you have like little observations or details about IDILY's Eren and Mikasa that didn't make it to the final story? Like very little facts about them that you thought about but weren't relevant to the story, or you just didn't incorporate but thought about, or even your own "headcanons" about them in the story?

I've been waiting for a long time to answer this bc i needed to be at my desk but!!! tysm for this question

i wrote a huge bit about mikasa's childhood and how she became friends with armin... that didn't make it in the story :( idk if i will be able to fit it in later or when i finally finish it and go back to revise it maybe i can fit it in... if u have any suggestions pls share :)

but here u go!!

i dreamed i left you - deleted scene [4.5k+]

MIKASA

[14 years old]

One day when I was fourteen, my mother told me I’d be changing schools. I blinked at her slowly and asked only one thing, “But Mother, it’s the middle of term. Won’t it affect my grades?” 

“No, Mikasa. They said they’ll take care of it.” And then she sat next to me and did something she did often when she wanted to tell me something she deemed important; she caressed my hair and tucked it behind my ear. “Listen to me carefully.” I was right. “This is a really good opportunity for you, Mikasa. It is a very prestigious school. And we are so lucky that we have a chance to send you to a school like this,” she hesitated at this, looking somewhat shameful, “with our limited means.” 

Growing up poor makes you understand these sorts of euphemisms well. Limited means, Our station, Within our status; these were just different ways to talk about money and our lack thereof. “Then how will we manage, Mother?” 

She gave me a forced smile. “One of the patrons of the restaurant has arranged it. You will have a full scholarship until you finish your studies.” She patted my head, signaling the end of our conversation. “Pending good grades, of course.” 

My mother never had to worry about that. My grades were always excellent. It was something she’d beaten into me when I got my first grade: A–, on a math test. Turns out I had made a mistake and added two lemons into the basket instead of removing them, and hence arrived at an incorrect total. I made sure to read every question at least twice, ever since then, just to be sure. And if I ever forgot, she was always happy to remind me, ruler in hand. 

“What does that mean then? A prestigious school?” My friend Sasha had asked me when I told her we could no longer eat lunch together every day. That was my comprehension of friendship back then. My life had little in the name of adversity, for a friend to adopt any opposing significance. And I didn’t have much time, with all the extra-curriculars my mother had packed into my schedule, for playdates or any such thing. 

“Mother says it means a lot of important people send their kids there to study.” 

“So does that mean they’re all smart? That would make sense,” Sasha says thoughtfully. “You’re a smart girl, Mikasa.” 

“I’m not sure,” I say honestly. “I do think they’d have much fancier lunches than you or I, though.” 

Sasha pouts at her egg sandwiches. “I’m jealous. Although I love your lunch! Mama Ackerman makes the best stir-fried noodles.”

I passed her the rest of my lunch and gave her a small smile. “She only makes it because she knows you eat more than half of it.” It was true, the cut apples and bananas were meant to make up a significant portion of my lunch.

My uniform arrived the weekend before I was meant to start. It was fancier than my current one. It had a little gold logo, with three ornate circles intersecting with each other. And the fabric was better too, the sweater was actually warm, and the colours were a pleasing cream and white instead of the ugly grey that I wore until last week. 

I stared at my reflection in the mirror as my mother pulled on my hair ungently and combed it back into a braid. My bangs covered my forehead. “Did you memorise the list that I gave you?” She asked. 

“Yes.” 

“It’s important for you to understand who is who. This isn’t like your public school—” 

“I memorised it and went through it twice again this morning.” 

“Okay…” I look up at her. My mother and eye have the same eyes, the same hair and probably the same face shape as when she was about twenty years younger. “I know I’m hard on you,” she says, with considerable discomfort. 

I don’t say anything back. What would be the point of acknowledging this? Yes, I breathe air. Yes, my mother treated me harshly. Felt equivalent. Felt normal. She turns me around me and slicks my flyaways down. “But we need to work hard. People like us don’t get the opportunity to take it easy.” 

As I walked the entire way to school that day— my new school was thirty minutes away by foot, whereas my previous school was just one block away— I thought about what she said. At first, I thought that she meant people like us, people without money, could not afford to take it easy, but when I think back to it, she had a faraway look in her eyes. Perhaps she meant the other thing— the matter of our otherness. 

My mother was from overseas. That’s all she said about it. Nothing more to be said, she’d tell me whenever I dared to press her on the subject. As far as she was concerned, I was from here: a real, proper citizen of Paradis. Born and brought up here, I’d never stepped foot on another land. But it didn’t matter. Paradis didn’t have the best of international relations, and here I am, with the face of an outsider. 

I thought this is what had worried my mother, who had obsessively made me memorize a list of “important people” and their children who apparently attended this school. So I now stare at the tall, iron gates that housed a school that looked more like a castle, replete with towers and a medieval facade, with my head filled with names of people I’d never met before. 

<hr>

I didn’t get it at first, but eventually, I understood why my mother made me do it. Apparently “Hi, my name is Mikasa Ackerman,” didn’t really cut it as an introduction around here. There was a lot of “who’s your father?” and “what does your father do?” talk that sounded plain odd to me. I doubt anybody other than Sasha and a couple of other girls, from my previous school, cared to know that my parents owned a small but popular noodle shop in the city centre. But my answers of “Henrik Ackerman,” and “He owns Lemongrass, a noodle shop on 17th Main,” didn’t seem to impress many. So eventually, I just kept my head down and avoided introductions altogether. You didn’t have to speak to anybody if weren’t in anybody’s way. 

It wasn’t always easy though. On one such occasion, I was paired up with Armin Arlert for a history assignment, and as my list of names would remind me, he was the grandson of a very influential ex-Foreign Minister. I stuck my hand out towards him but he didn’t take it. “Mikasa Ackerman, I know,” he says, giving me a small smile, as we head out of class. He saved me the trouble of introduction, but I couldn’t help but wonder what else he knew about me, what else he had heard. 

“My name’s Armin, which you also know, I suppose.” He watches me with his clear blue eyes from across the table. His voice is not fully broken, and he wears his hair in an adorable bowl cut, but as soft as he looked, I could tell there was a hardness within him. It felt comfortable, to be honest. After all, I had a hardness within me too. 

“So,” he said, the next day, when we sat at the library going through a list of potential topics for our paper. “How do you like it at the Academy so far?” 

“It’s nice,” I say automatically. “It’s a wonderful opportunity to be here.” 

“Is it?” I can hear the laughter in his voice. 

“Isn’t it?” 

“I haven’t been anywhere else, so I couldn’t tell you.” 

“The cafeteria is better,” I decide to say, after a moment’s pause. “Than my previous school.” 

He hums and looks back into his notebook. After a few minutes he looks up at me again, “And the people? Are you liking it around here?” 

I’m not sure if he genuinely wants to know, because it was rather obvious that I wasn’t the very social kind. Or perhaps he really doesn’t know, it’s not his business after all. So I tell him, “I’m a bit of a loner, actually.” 

“Amongst this crowd who wouldn’t be.” I raised my eyes at this. Why would a boy like him be a loner, in this school? He had the wealth and the status that, as I had understood after the first four weeks here, would attract anybody into friendship. 

I’d been so absorbed in myself and my desire to stay out of everybody’s way that I hadn’t really noticed anybody else. And when I actually cared to notice, I realised that he was being truthful. Armin didn’t appear to assimilate easily into the crowd of designer brand-wearing, father’s name-touting, genus of Academy students. Instead, he quite often disagreed with them, vocally, sometimes even resulting in skirmishes. 

 One day at lunch— we’d started having lunch together after Armin had shown up on the bench where I ate and said, “figured you wouldn’t mind if another loner joined you,” — he turned up with a swollen cheek and angry tears on his lashes. “Jesus, Armin.” 

“Can you hold up my bangs?” He asks, sounding sulky. “It hurts when my hair keeps touching my cheek.” 

I pull out a bobby pin from my own hair and stick it into his. “We should probably get some ice for you.”

“Already got it.” And he begins to press it onto his cheek, grumbling incoherently. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” 

“If that’s your question, no, I do not want to tell you—” 

“Just tell me what happened.” 

He sighs. “It’s nothing new, Mikasa. Just…” 

I take the ice from him and hold it against his cheek. “Some of the guys from the hockey team were asking if we’re dating.” 

“Oh? That’s— well,” I blush slightly, but I’m not sure why. It’s definitely not because of any secret feelings. “I’m not really allowed to date, you know.” 

Armin looks at me like I have two heads. “Well, parents aren’t really going to be out here saying hey, why don’t you go around smooching that other kid over there! Not when you’re fourteen, but kids do it anyway.” He cringes visibly. “Well maybe Ruth’s mother does, but you know what I mean.” 

I look at him like I don’t know what he means. “Wait,” he says slowly. “What do you mean you’re not allowed to date?” 

“I’m not,” I shrug. “My parents have a very clear no-boys policy while I’m in school. Or probably until marriage, but I haven’t really pressed the details to be honest.” 

Armin is gaping at me. “And you have never wanted to…” 

“We’re only fourteen,” I say somewhat defensively. 

“Almost fifteen,” he corrects sharply, and then, blushing, he says “I-I’ve had crushes before.” He is hiding under his long blonde bangs, which I somehow thought was very cute. 

“Really? What’s it like, then? Having a crush.” 

“I can’t believe you’re asking me that.” He looks somewhat mortified. As if the question I asked was not the logical follow-up to his admitting to having crushes on people. 

“I suppose I could ask you who you have a crush on. If that’s what you want.” 

“Mikasa, you’re weird,” he says, cheeks still giving away his embarrassment. At least he didn’t look upset anymore. 

“So does that mean I won’t be getting any answers?” I tease him. 

He takes a deep breath. “Okay. You promise not to judge me or anything?”

“Do you have a crush on a teacher or something?” I grin. I could see that with Armin. His naturally inquisitive nature and excellent grades made them quite fond of him. I’d even heard some of the other students grumbling about how he was a ‘teacher’s pet.’ 

“No! What?” he sputters, “I don’t think we should be making light of the power imbalance in that dynamic—” 

“It’s a crush, Armin, not a relationship. Anyway, if not a teacher, then who is this mysterious crush of yours that you are so hesitant to tell me about?” 

He huffs. “Ok but you have to swear not to tell anyone about it.” 

I roll my eyes. “Pinky promise.” 

“You know that guy in second year? Boris Feulner?” 

I can vaguely recollect such a name on my mother’s list. “Mm-hmm.” 

“We go to swimming lessons together. And I, um—” Armin is positively pink at this point. He is twisting the pink ends of his fingers, there is a pink flush along his neck, and his cheeks have also attained that colour; impressively, his entire body is pink. “Well, let’s just say that I have spent an ungodly amount of time imagining him in his swimsuit when I’m back in my room.” 

I blink at him. And then I burst out laughing. “That’s your way of saying that you find him attractive?” 

“It’s not funny.” 

“No, I guess not,” I say, still laughing. “What’s to judge here? He’s one class higher than us, is he?” 

“No, that’s not it. It’s the fact that, well, that he’s a he. That I find him attractive.” A stupid look crosses his face, and it’s Armin, so stupid looks seldom cross his face. 

“That’s quite last decade of you to be embarrassed about something like that,” I say thoughtlessly. “Isn’t it legal now to be with whoever you want?” 

“My sexuality is not about keeping with the times, Mikasa,” he snaps. Ok, I guess I deserved that. 

“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, “I didn’t mean it like that, Armin.” 

He waves me off impatiently. “Anyway, in case you hadn’t noticed, what is legal isn’t always what is accepted. Here,” he makes a circle to denote this school, “amongst this world, everyone plays by a specific set of rules. What you study, who you date, who you marry, it’s all scripted. Sons take over their father’s businesses, whether it falls into legal or illegal lines, and women frame their fancy diplomas and stand by their husbands at galas and make polite talk, and when it’s time, they pop out a baby or two to do their ‘duty.’”

I listen to him, stunned. “What do you mean… They don’t go to work, after all this?” By all this what I meant, was the ridiculous amount of tuition that was being spent on a school like this. Followed by, no doubt, even more expensive tuition for a college degree they would never use. 

“They don’t need to.” Armin’s voice drops to a hushed murmur. “Half of the kids here belong to Mafia families, the other half mostly politics or business. All of them, every last one, is corrupt.” 

“B-but I thought—” 

“Everyone’s got legitimate businesses to cover up anything shady, so no, nobody is going to introduce themselves as the daughter of an Underground Family.”

He gives me a pitying look, probably at the cluelessness that I can’t hide. “Sheesh, you don’t know anything, do you? Where are you even from?” 

“I told you already,” I say, somewhat irritated, “... we live close to the Oriental Quarter. My Father just owns a restaurant, I know that there’s,” I gesture vaguely, “some sort of mafia, but I don’t really know much more than that. I can’t really tell the difference between the Mafia and the police anyway.” 

“And that’s the real problem with our society,” he mutters angrily. His blue eyes return to mine. “I know that’s what you said, but I thought… Usually, everybody has more of a story here.” 

“No story here,” I say blandly, “Just the daughter of a restaurant owner.” Who is apparently clueless and kept deliberately misinformed. 

It’s not that I didn’t know about the Mafia. In Sina, it’s something you grow up with. You have the government, you have the police, and you have the Mafia, or the Underground, as it’s called here. The truth is, there’s no way to ignore it. When I was old enough to be at the restaurant to help with small chores and odd jobs, my parents drilled it into me: Keep your head down, be polite, give them what they want, and get on with your day. I’d seen Mother and Father do it too, to ‘important customers,’ treating them like God as soon as they stepped into our small joint. Handing envelopes of cash to men with guns hanging off their low-slung jeans, and unruly hair.that  Money that my parents spent their blood, sweat and tears on. That’s who I thought of when I heard ‘Mafia.’ 

When I was younger I almost asked them why they gave away their own hard-earned money to somebody else when it was them who worked for it. Don’t we own the restaurant, Papa? I almost asked him once. But something held me back. Much later, after eavesdropping on an argument between my parents, I learnt that it was “protection.” That these men— who I’d grown to believe were so important— were just enforcers who collected payments from us in turn for their ‘protection’, a heavily jargoned word that people would often mistake for defence against an outsider, but what it really was, was a bribe. A fee extorted from people who had no other choice. I guess I’d always known that the Mafia was a bigger thing, something I couldn’t even comprehend, invisible but everywhere. 

What I had never imagined was that they would exist in a world like this: Shiny and filthy rich, dressing their children in the most expensive linens, while they were up to their arms in blood. Milling companies, Breweries, Textile manufacturers, I saw literally everything on that list and didn’t suspect once that they had anything to do with the Underground. And now they were all around me.

“You’re shaking,” Armin says, softly. “Mikasa, are you okay?” 

I nod, and try to say something, but I can’t find the words. Something has happened to me. I feel choked, my heartbeat has begun to pulse rapidly. My hands are balled into fists on my skirt. “I just—” I suddenly remember the time I’d seen my father with a gun to his temple, his voice shaking as he asked me to leave the room. I remember that when he came home that night, my mother was crying and we ate little more than leftovers that entire week because “business was not that good”. “I—” I remember the time I went to fetch onions from the store because we ran out. When I came back one of the men had his hand on my Mother’s behind as he ordered food and my mother was frozen still. “I hate them,” I manage finally, and my voice is raspy and unlike myself. There are little crescent moons in my palm from where I have dug my fingernails into them. “I hate them,” I say even louder, this time more frantic, “I hate them so much–” 

“Mikasa!” Armin’s hand is heavy on my shoulder and he looks at me alarmed, baby-blue eyes filled with concern. That’s when I realise I was almost screaming. “I know.” He squeezes my hand. “I know. I hate them too.”

It’s been so long since I’ve felt this feeling. Every now and then I feel it, this shaking, violent, urge that spills out of my throat and into a bottle inside of my heart, every time topping up and up and up until now, when the lid shakes and it threatens to spill over. “I feel angry too,” Armin is saying. I don’t hear him fully because the violence inside of me is loud. “It isn’t right. None of this is right.” 

Angry? Somehow that word doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like it’s enough to contain everything that this feeling really is. 

Eventually my vision refocused, and my breathing calmed. Armin was still watching me carefully, his cheek swollen and his lips bitten. “Anyway,” he said tentatively, after he had given me enough time to be in my own head. “Do you want to know the rest of what happened with the hockey boys?” 

“Sorry,” I say, distractedly, “... We veered off.” 

He waves me off again. “I told them we weren’t dating. They didn’t believe me at first. But then one of them said,” he puffs his shoulders up and deepens his voice comically, “She doesn’t date faggots, probably.”

“Armin,” I gasp, shocked. 

“It’s fine, he’s not wrong.” He shuts up my sputtering buts, and grins, looking mighty pleased with himself. “I told him you didn’t date braindead morons like him either.” 

I groan. “And that’s why you got socked?” 

He shrugs. “Well was I wrong?”

…

Two months into our second year in high school, our class teacher announced that a new student would be joining us. By this time, Armin and I had grown comfortable enough to pick our seats side by side. This school was well funded so we had nice seats, with a little cushion on the chair, and a large enough desk to spread out your things comfortably. There was little space between us, so a mid-volume whisper was sufficient to communicate during class, most times. 

Armin looked disinterested, but I was curious about this new student. It was somebody outside of my list, after all. A few minutes after being told by Miss Langnar to welcome the new kid and help him cover up anything he might have missed, the ‘kid’ in question walked in. It was probably strange to refer to another student, at my grand old age of fifteen, as a ‘kid,’ but it seemed to suit him. He was tall, with dark brown hair that didn’t sit very neatly atop his head, and large green eyes that seemed like a mirror to his soul. Perhaps it was quite a dramatic thing to say about somebody whose name I didn’t even know, but I felt certain of it. For example, I could see now that he was angry. He wasn’t happy to be here, and it shone in the brilliance of his verdant eyes, making even a thing like anger appear to be beautiful. I wondered what it must be like to live in that way, to be so honest whether you wanted to be or not.

I felt a sting of envy at that moment, just as my Mother’s words resounded in my head. “Save your anger, Mikasa,” she’d tell me, after whatever punishment she was ‘forced’ to give me— she was always forced to punish me, you see, she didn’t have a choice, it was the only way I would learn my lesson— “it makes you look ugly.” 

“Eren Jaeger,” he says, his voice clipped, not offering anything more as an introduction.

“Is there anything else you’d like to tell your classmates about yourself, Eren?” Miss Langnar prompted kindly, after the awkward moment of silence. 

“Nope. Not really.” 

She looked taken aback, not having expected that response. “Well, why don’t you take a seat next to Mikasa?” She pointed towards the empty desk to my right. “I’m sure she’ll be willing to show you all the important resources in the school and help you catch up.”

Eren Jaeger looked at me then, his large green eyes came to rest on mine. My breath hitched ever so slightly, and I tugged on my lower lip with my teeth. “Sure, Miss Langnar,” I said, sounding somewhat different than usual. 

He watched me as he walked to his desk, as he slid into his seat. And then, unexpectedly, he gave me a small smile. “Hey,” he said. His eyes were still stormy, a deep annoyance swirling within them, but his gesture let me know that it had nothing to do with me. My teeth dug further into my lower lip, any more and it would have bled. Forcing it loose, I replied, “Hi.” 

He craned his neck and looked past me, and then said, “Armin.” 

Armin lifted a hand and gave him a small smile. 

I looked at Armin, my eyebrows arched. You know him?

Armin wasn’t telepathic of course so I don’t know if he understood my unspoken question, but he just shrugged at me and turned his attention to what the teacher was saying. 

I watched Eren out of the corner of my eye. He sat back in his seat in a sort of slouch. It instinctively made me sit up a little bit straighter; I would have been beaten at home if I ever displayed that sort of posture. Miss Langnar has begun her lesson and Eren looked straight at her, but I can tell it was that sort of vacant look where he was looking but not really seeing. Primarily because she asked us to take out our textbooks and turn to page 53, and Eren hadn’t moved a muscle. 

“I can share with you, if you like,” I whisper, hoping it was loud enough and that I wouldn’t have to repeat myself because, surprisingly, these words had taken considerable effort. 

He blinks at me, somewhat lost, and then looks at my textbook, which I have pushed towards him. “Oh,” he said. And then he pushed his seat closer to mine, making his desk incongruent from the rest of the line of desks, the noise attracting glances from everybody else. I can feel my cheeks heat up. “Thanks.”

I nod, feeling inexplicably shy, for no apparent reason, pushing my book further towards him until it was half on his desk and half on mine. When Miss Langnar is done with what is on this page and it is time to turn the page, my hand brushes his. I jerked my hand back, feeling an electric tingle on the tips of my fingertips. My heart felt as if it was in my mouth. Eren looked at me strangely. “Sorry,” he said, sounding more confused than sorry.

I sank back into my seat feeling a bit foolish. I wasn’t sure why I was behaving this way, and I was even less sure of why I felt this way. Whatever it was that I was feeling, that is. 

A small folded piece of paper falls into my lap. Are you okay? It reads. I turn around to give Armin a reassuring smile, but when he saw me, his blue eyes twinkled with humour, and his mouth curved into a smirk. 

He throws another wad of paper at me. You’re blushing.

I am not. I write back. But as I write it, I can feel my cheeks grow warmer with embarrassment. What was going on with me?

“Armin,” Miss Langnar called. For a second I worried that she had caught on to our secret messaging system, but it turns out she just called him to hand out worksheets, as she always does, always preferring Armin to do these types of things. 

He still has that smirk on his face when he hands us our worksheets, and for some reason, I feel even more embarrassed now, in front of Eren. 

Later, after two more classes of me sharing my textbooks with Eren, our hands touching inadvertently, and me getting slowly better with my reactions, I slip Armin another note. 

The new boy is pretty, don’t you think? 

I watched Armin as he opened it, feeling unbearably hot in anticipation that he was about to read those words. I wished I could reach out and take it back from him. But I already felt like enough of a fool today. He almost bursts out laughing when he reads it and I want to bury myself in the ground. 

I glance at Eren, and he looks utterly bored— and I thought to myself that this person next to me could even make boredom look pretty. Like it was more of a meaningful thing, as if this plane, and all of us mortals who roamed it, weren’t interesting enough to keep his attention. 

Another paper falls in my lap. Mikasa, do you have a CRUSH?? On Eren Jaeger??

I crumple the paper as quickly as I can, casting a furtive glance at my neighbour, who thankfully, seemed blissfully unaware. 

Ignoring what Armin said, I wrote back, He is pretty, though. Don’t you agree? 

Armin rolled his eyes. FINE. Sure. But I can’t believe The great Mikasa Ackerman finally has a crush on somebody!!!!

Despite my embarrassment, I felt a small smile creep onto my face. I folded the paper neatly and put it in my skirt pocket. So that’s what this, I thought to myself. A crush. 

[dragonmuse]

Mrs. Teach should go berrypicking with Pete's dad. As a little treat :-)

(So I was like...yeah obviously in "she said you can't hurry love' Dave also lives and yes they would meet eventually and how nice that would be! So not berry picking exactly, but here’s Whina and Dave meeting for the first time) 

“It’s very crowded,” Whina stayed by the door. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen it like this, not even last summer.” 

“Seems like we top ourselves each year,” Lucius agreed.

 He was holding a clipboard, a phone in a hot pink case that she didn’t think was his, a folder full of paper and there was a walkie-talkie hanging from his belt. His hair was sticking up in every direction and she didn’t think it was intentional. 

“Just point me in a useful direction,” she suggested. “Sister Eulalia said something about assembling lunches?” 

“That would be a huge help. We make sure all the performers and vendors are fed,” he explained, walking briskly across the floor so that she had to double time to keep up. “It’s a good spread, but we need to box it all up so they can take them as needed. I already put Dave to work there.” 

“Dave?” 

“Pete’s father,” Lucius slowed a hair. “He’s deaf in his left ear, so make sure you’re on his right. You’ll love him. He’s a sweetheart.” 

“All right,” she tried to remember that as he led her to a table in the back, past the chaos of dozens of performers and their assistants preparing.  “I’m sure we’ll get along fine.” 

The table was piled high snack sized bags of goodies and platters of fat sandwiches and a tray of pasta. The man scooping pasta carefully into plastic containers was definitely her age. He looked like a weathered bulldog, short, thick and mullish, but when Lucius said,  “How’s it going, Dave?”   a wide lovely smile unfolded over his face and Whina could see that he shared Pete’s bright blue eyes. 

“Making progress! Need them by 11, right?” 

“Exactly,” Lucius came around the table, gave the man a one-armed hug. “You’re amazing. Got you so help.” 

“Oh, if you need someone somewhere else-” 

“No, I think this is perfect,” Lucius determined, releasing him. “Dave, this is Whina Teach. Whina, Dave Black. Have fun!” 

And then he was rabbiting off, barking something into the radio. 

“He’s going to wear himself out,” Whina predicted. 

“Always does,” Dave agreed, holding out his hand. She shook it and found it pleasantly warm where he’d been handling the pasta. “Pleasure to meet you, m’am.” 

“Whina, please. Show me what I can do to help.” 

“I’ve got the pasta packaging going okay. Could you get the sandwiches wrapped in wax paper? Then it’ll all be prepped and we just gotta bag it all up.” 

She made sure to stand on his right side, then got to work. It was familiar labor to her, after all the hours of working at the soup kitchen. The air conditioning in the Revenge was laboring, but managing to keep up. There were far worse ways to spend a morning. 

“I think Lucius mentioned that you live fairly far away?”  She asked once they had their rhythm going. 

“It’s a haul, if I drive, but I quit that last year. I fly and then it’s not so bad. Pete has been on me to move closer and don’t tell him, but I’m starting to consider it. Just not a big city fan.” 

“I live about a half-hour south,” she offered. “I just couldn’t leave the sea. But it’s close enough for easy visits, not so easy that Eddy gets underfoot.” 

Dave laughed, “You worry about your space?” 

“She’s just a terribly nosy person for someone that loves a secret,” Whina admitted. “Sometimes a person just wants to keep a few things to themselves. And Stede is a lovely man, but he takes a lot of energy.” 

“I don’t know them nearly as well as I should,” Dave carefully tapped an errant noodle into its plastic container. “When I visit, I mostly spend time with Pete and his people. Lucius is the nosy one, but he’s so funny about it, hard to get bent out of shape. Pete just keeps trying to make me take vitamins.” 

“It feels all wrong, doesn’t it? How they fuss over us now?” She shook her head. 

“Does it ever!” He chuckled. “I pulled that boy out of a dozen scrapes a day when he was small and now he’s on me about my insulin like I don’t know how to manage myself. But I like it better than the alternative. Some of my friends, they never hear from theirs.” 

“I don’t know how they bear it. No matter how much I want to swat her, I would just go to pieces without my girl around sometimes.” 

“Did I hear rightly that you help sew some of the costumes around here?” 

“Oh, not that much,” she demurred. “I just lend a hand in a tight turnaround.” 

“I think Pete said you were the best with lace though.” 

“They all do go too hard on it,” she allowed. “And I do the occasional re-heeling. A newer hobby.” 

“How do you go about that?” He asked with what seemed genuine curiosity. “I did a bit of leather work once. Belts mostly. Shoes seemed a little intimidating.” 

They talked about their crafts, their old jobs, and soon the pile of food started going neatly into bags with Whina’s careful markings on them for contents and allergens. They went on talking as the food was carried away and was replaced with folders and some papers for last minute additions to a local resources packet. 

“So you like your neighborhood?” Dave asked. “I’ve always liked being near water, but for me that’s lakes. Never even been to the ocean.” 

“Never been to the ocean!” She shook her head. “Absolutely unacceptable. How long are you in town?” 

“Rest of the week. I knew I’d barely see anyone if I stuck to this weekend and it’s not like I’ve got anyone waiting on me, except my dog and my neighbor has him all taken care of.” 

“You have to come visit me,” she decided. “Do you play bridge?” 

“Sure, I know the rules at least.” 

“I bet my neighbor is going to drop out, she was already fake coughing when she heard me come outside this morning. She’s a big flake. Come by on Tuesday and play a hand or two. Bring the boys if you like.” 

“I wouldn’t want to intrude-” 

“Not at all,” she hesitated then rested her hand lightly on his arm, “you’d be doing me a favor, really. New company is always a treat for us. We get sick of each other.” 

“If you’re sure.” 

“Absolutely, and we can go for a walk on the beach after.” 

“You know,” he smiled down at her hand, a little pink in the cheeks. “I think I’d like that very much.” 

It was Izzy’s car that showed up, all of them unloading from it to the delight of her bridge club. 

“Whina!” Emily grasped her arm. “Where did all of that come from?” 

“You lay off,” Whina laughed. “Just Izzy and his folk.” 

“Are the single?” 

“Just the old one and you lay off now.” 

“Oh ho,” Emily grinned at her. “Why would that be?” 

“Mind yourself,” Whina sniffed. “I’m just being friendly. He’s thinking of moving out here to be closer to his son, so let’s not scare him off.” 

It was a nice afternoon, so they took the cards into her back garden. Dave impressed Emily and Lawrence immediately by producing hard cider which they all had a preference for.  Pete and Izzy went to go talk over her car like it was doing anything except sitting there and Lucius had laid claim to her hammock, clearly asleep the second he laid out. 

She couldn’t have asked for things to seem homier, but she did sweeten the deal with a plate of cinnamon cookies to share along with the cider. They played bridge and Dave was better than he’d let on, but not so good that anyone got annoyed. 

Lawrence and Emily left for some church obligation, but not before Emily extracted a promise that she’d call later with more information. Interfering busybody. What had Whina done that she was plagued with nosiness? 

“Best go now if we’re going,” Whina came back to the yard to find Dave tidying up. “You don’t have to do that, I’ve got it.” 

“Nonsense,” he brought the plates into the kitchen. “Never held with making a host do all the work. Let me at least get these into the sink.” 

They wound up doing the washing up together. Pete looped back in then, catching sight of the scene. 

“Working already?” He chided. 

“It’s a dish, son, I’ll survive it,” Dave said in the same tone right back. “We’re going to walk the beach. You coming?” 

“I’m going to get Lucius up and get some food in him so he’s not pouty on the drive home,” Pete said. “You guys have fun. Whina, Izzy said he was going to pick up your woodchips.” 

“Did he say if he was getting the-” 

“Regular brown ones, not the red. He was clear,” Pete smiled. “Guess he’s done it a few times, huh?” 

“Just a few,” she allowed.  

So Whina got her shoes on and found a sweater. It was summer, but the beach was windy year round and she got chilled easier these days. Dave followed her lead across the street and down aways until they came to the ramp that cut clean between two houses. 

“We don’t get many tourists because it’s a bit rocky,” she explained. “But the town keeps this stretch sandy for families and we all work together to keep it clean. Hard sometimes, the way people drop bottles and things.” 

“That’s a shame,” he came down the last step and looked out over the water. It was putting on a good show today, the green-brown waves tamer than usual, crashing to the shore in even ebbs. “Now that is a sight.” 

“Isn’t it?” She admired the long stretch of water, the pebbly, sandy shore. “I come out here almost every morning.” 

“Thank you, for inviting me,” he said emphatically. 

They walked down along the water, far enough that the waves couldn’t nip at their toes. This early in the summer it wouldn’t yet be warm enough to enjoy. At one point, Dave stooped and picked up a bit of seaglass. 

“It gets polished by the water over time,” she explained. “All the hard points softened up.” 

“I sympathize,” Dave smiled and tucked it into his pocket. 

“Me too,” she confessed. 

They walked for longer than she usually would, content in each other’s company. Long enough that by the time they got back to the house, Izzy had already spread most of the wood chips. He got up off his knees as they came close. 

“Eddy called,” he told her. “Said she tried you first.” 

“I don’t get much reception by the water,” she admitted. 

“Well, she hear we were all here and she wants to come down with Stede for dinner. Promised to buy it, something about shrimp.” 

“That’s the shellfish place I was telling you about,” she told Dave, touching his wrist lightly. “Would you mind?” 

“Not at all.” 

They had to open up the dining room table, adding a leaf which Izzy and Pete did while Lucius got down dishes to set the table. Eddy and Stede arrived with bags and bags of food and soon the whole house smelled like seafood and butter.  

“Mama,” Eddy leaned in, a twitch of a smile on her lips. “You’re being very nice to Dave.” 

“A person can always use more friends,” she tapped Eddy on her nose. “That’s all.” 

“Mhm. I heard he’s thinking of moving out here.” 

“It’s a good place to live. I can’t be proud of my town now?” 

“Be as proud as you like,” Eddy plopped more shrimp on her plate. “But if I’m getting a stepdad this late in life, I think I deserve to know.” 

“Stop it,” she chided. 

But she did give Dave her number before he left. Just in case. Someone should help him find a place out here, after all, if that’s what he wound up doing. It was just neighborly.

[scrawnytreedemon]

Tag 9 People You Want To Get To Know Better

Massive thanks to @feartheoldblog for tagging me! It's taken a few days, but I've finally gotten around to participating :}

Three Ships: GOD, must I choose??? Right, let's crack it up.

- Godrick x Ghirahim (Ghirdick???? Godrihim??? 👁❔❔❔). It's a fucking travesty, I love it, and I can't thank @just-another-tokyo-ghoul-fan for bringing the dynamic to my attention. THANK Y O U <33

- Zant x Genesis. I've had them mentally married for over a year at this point now, and you fuckers better watch out for my hacknied envy-themeing-based explanation! Just you fucking wait! I have cross-ships you fools couldn't even DREAM of!

- I'm going to go "classic" and pick out Dark Link x Ravio: Crackfic Edition for old times' sake. I still need to get back into the funk of writing those-- God, it was so much fun, and I just HAD to ruin my streak back in 2019 by introducing PLOT 😡😡🗯 What a fool I am!

Rest assured, my beloved onlookers, there are many more. I have not even mentioned Sephiroth x The Hollow Knight, Barret x Sephiroth, or Micolash x The Plain Doll.

Watch your back.

First Ever Ship: Lmao, probably Zelink. Does selfshipping myself with Bowser when I was six out of a sense of pity count, perchance?

Last Song: "Toes" - Glass Animals (just gotten into them like, last week. Currently have three songs on my repeat-rotation, which is a massive achievement tbh! Love their vibes :} )

Last Movie: Antman and Wasp-- Unfinished. Was on a catchup with my friends to get me to Endgame, as, prior to this my streak was broken at Infinity War.

Marvel isn't great, by any means (EXCEPT Wakanda Forever genuinely good on all fronts very pleasantly surprised VERY MUCH LOOK FORWARD TO WHAT HAPPENS NEXT--), but I'm feeling nostalgic, lol.

Currently Reading: Halfway through ASOIAF A Storm of Swords: Part 2. Currently chickened out because I'm scared for the wellbeing of a certain handful of characters 😭 Very good books, very addictive, if more than a tad brutal (putting it lightly, snkkk).

Currently Watching: Youtube, lmao. Should probably get around to finishing the rest of that 16-hour Elden Ring Longplay for my fic.

Currently Consuming: Just finished an open-faced egg relish sandwich :} (homemade; very mustardy <3)

Currently Craving: Chinese fast-food, if I must pick one 😩 ilysmm bbgygrl mentally chewing ur noodles like cats do their little food-chunks.

Tagging (if you please~): @just-another-tokyo-ghoul-fan, @legendofmarshie, @katyahina, @lucindria, @crisiskuraudo, @breath-of-the-twink, @mrslittletall, @theblindhakune, @no-braincells-inc

💖

[snowfragrance]

Norfolk/VA Beach Trip 2023

My sister wanted to see the options at the Asian groceries and it’s been years since I’ve been to VA Beach so I decided to join her on a quick trip. Unfortunately, all the Asian groceries that we hit had very little selection and the seafood was pricey despite it being near the sea? Don’t understand how that’s a thing. At least one of the stores had fresh jellyfish which I bought.

Norfolk Attractions:

Norfolk Botanical Gardens: Admission was $16 and I wished we went in the summer. There were very little flowers in bloom in May. They had hydrangeas and wisterias (my favorites) but none were in bloom. Still fun and they had candyleaf which made Stevia. The leaves tasted like honeysuckle. The staff were very friendly and fun to talk to.

Chrysler Museum of Art- Free admissions and they have glass making demonstrations during certain days. Smaller than the VMFA and they do have some nice Tiffany-stained glass displayed. Great to walk around and parking is free. Staff is very nice and the atmosphere is quite relaxing.

VA Beach Food:

Ten Seconds Noodles: Had to get the cross bridge noodles since it’s a specialty of Kunming. The variety is great but I wish the broth was more meaty but it’s still good. I just prefer my beef noodles more. Price is also good with noodle priced at $13.

Prince Tea House: So I wanted high tea and the afternoon tea for two was $54, so very expensive for the amount of food offered. But high tea is always expensive and this option was the cheapest based on other places. We each got a pot of our preferred tea. The top layer was chocolate molten lava cake in a tiny COSTCO sample size cup, 2 macaroon, and 2 fruit tarts. Second layer had 2 scones with raspberry jam and cottage cream in separate containers. Last layer had 2 of every item—deviled eggs, cucumber sandwich, cheesy salami, cream cheese salmon, tuna sandwich. At least the variety is there and all the food taste delicious... it’s just miniscule. The décor is adorable and the whole experience is more for IG than to fill your stomach.  

Place:

My sister got an AirBnB with a superhost. It was a mess since her estranged son showed up in the middle of the night and started to threaten her. It was getting to the point where I wondered if I needed to call the police since I had no idea if he had a weapon. I was getting ready to hit the car alarm on the keys but my sister got up to look at the situation and the guy left once he saw her. The host apologized and comped our stay but I think I might just do hotels if I travel next time.  

[niennandil-me-writes]

Fragments of a Cybernetic Mind: Chapter 1 - A New Case

Summary Half a year has passed since the events of Christmas of 2064. The world is slowly adjusting to sentient ROMs. But Turing is distracted from their task as ROM-kind's leader and ambassador by another obligation they carry. They want to deliver Leon Dekker’s last words to his daughter. But first, they’ll have to find her, which doesn’t prove easy. They ask their journalist friend for help, who seems less than thrilled.

Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 (final) Epilogue

CN: panic attacks, trauma

There’s days where the words just flow. Mornings where I sit down with a cup of instant noodles and a Hassy, and before I even know it, it’s evening, and I’ve met my word count four times over. A couple weeks ago Turing had to physically force me to move away from my laptop to have a small snack, and as soon as I’d gulped down the sandwich, I was back at it, hammering at the keyboard which is slowly dying under my rapid typing.

There’s something magical about words. A rhythm in the sentences. Narratives behind the paragraphs. As a child, I always wanted to become an author, until I joined my school’s journalism club, and discovered my true passion: Beauty not in pretty lies, but in a well-spoken truth revealed to a large audience whose eyes I can open. 

And now, after years of taking on any gig I could come by, compromising my integrity, being paid in exposure, I finally have my hands on something truly important. After the first exposé I wrote for OK Today, I got about 10 offers from big name publishers who are begging for the full story, 50 more from smaller houses. I rejected half of them, knowing that they’d be more interested in flashy theatrics or drama than the truth, and then discussed the rest of the offers with my friends, until I ended up signing a contract with one of them, sending them the newest chapters of the book as I’m writing them. They’re happy. For now.

Today the words don’t flow. Their consistency is closer to the sludge in the kitchen sink of my old flat. I write a sentence, delete it, rewrite it, delete it, write the first sentence again, and so it goes on forever and ever. I shift sentences from place to place, only to realize it destroys the entire structure of narrative, like trying to move around a load-bearing pillar while the roof crumbles. 

It’s been like this for a week. Old Hassy cans on my desk, which I have moved around five times so far, hoping a change in perspective would get the creative juices flowing. Instead it just left a couple marks on the floor from the desk’s legs.

My head is in my hands. I have a migraine. I delete the last sentence. Open my mails. Look through the mesh. Back to the writing. I paste the sentence in again.

There’s a knock on the door. I turn around. “Come in.”

The door hesitantly swings open, revealing the small blue ROM I’m sharing my new living spaces with. Their round head barely reaches the doorknob, which they keep holding with their finger digits as they enter the room. “I hope I am not intruding.”

“No, it’s fine, I need a break anyways.” Not entirely true. There’s an itch in my brain at being unable to finish the section I’m working on, but it’s not like I would get it done anyways. 

“How is the work coming along?” Turing asks, laying their little metal finger into a wound they no doubt don’t even realize is there.

I grit my teeth. “Good. Great, really.” I tap my leg. “Actually, you could help me find some synonyms later, I’m running out of ways to say ‘controlling the media’.”

Turing steps closer. “I thought you finished that chapter two weeks ago?”

“Just editing it a bit,” I explain. “I felt it wasn’t really cohesive so far. I want a tight narrative.”

“Well, you are the journalist, so you should know how to do that.” Turing smiles up at me, and I can’t help but join into the smile. There’s something contagious about this little robot’s joy. 

Then their look becomes contemplative. Distant.

“What is it, little guy?” I ask. “You need anything?”

“Well, there is something I wanted to ask your help with...”

“Well, spit it out, what do you need my help with this time?” I tease. “Some other friend of you go missing?”

“No, it’s not quite as serious as that.” They look anywhere but at my face. “And you know I am very grateful for your help in that matter. I am sure everyone is. All of ROM-kind...”

They seem somber in a way that goes far beyond their usual formality. It’s starting to worry me. “It’s alright. Anyone would have done that...”

“But not anyone could have,” Turing insists. “Your role in this went far beyond just helping me. You are a skilled journalist. You know how to pry, how to retrieve information hidden to most casual observers. Which is why, even though I hate to burden you with this while you are still in the middle of your writing work - work that is integral to our quest to get the newly sentient ROMs accepted in society and to inform the public about the transgressions of Parallax – I have to say, you are the only person I would trust with this endeavor.”

As much as I enjoy them stroking my ego, I interrupt them: “Turing, you’re rambling again. Which endeavor?”

“It is true that I am looking for a specific person again. Someone who isn’t easy to find and who many people have no doubt done their best to make unfindable. This search, however, will not get us in any danger even close to our last adventure at Christmas. And we don’t have any actual time limit.”

I am noticing they haven’t mentioned a name yet. Though I can guess who it might be. “Who are we looking for, Turing?”

“Well...” They shuffle around. “I just want to stress again that I wouldn’t be asking this of you if I hadn’t already exhausted most of my other options. I have talked to TOMCAT and Lexi, and both – “

“Turing, I swear to god, if you don’t tell me right now, I’m assuming you want me to hunt down Fairlight.” Wouldn’t be my first guess, though.

“It’s not that.” They sigh, still a weird sight to behold from a ROM. Then they finally spit it out: “I want to find Dekker’s daughter.”

Silence falls in the room, broken only by the rumbling of my laptop’s ventilation. 

“Why?” I finally ask.

“Do you remember what he said before he died?” Turing’s voice is faster now, nervous.

I force a laugh that comes out dry. “He said a lot of things. Mainly what he wants to do with my entrails.” I cross my arms. Despite the summer heat, I’ve got goosebumps.

“I mean his last words. Right before he died.”

“Turing, I don’t – “

“He said he wanted to tell his daughter he’s sorry,” Turing interrupts me. “And I feel like it is my duty to pass on those words.”

I turn towards my desk, so I don’t have to face them. I bite my tongue. Why is my heart racing? It’s been months. And he’s dead. Deader than he was back then.

“I tried finding her on the mesh,” Turing explains without noticing my state. “But of course, his wife didn’t keep the same name, so even if they are somewhere, we wouldn’t find them under his name. And even when I searched more diligently, it was no use. It’s like Lexi said, all his records about him and his past are heavily redacted and/or classified. Lexi could get me some more access under the table, so to speak, but still, nothing. I retrieved some of his hardware and with TOMCAT’s help was able to search his memory data for clues, and it was they who suggested – “

“Wait, hang on a second,” I interrupt. “You’ve looked through his memories?”

“I felt it was the best way – “

“How? You said something about hardware?”

Turing shrinks together. “Lexi was – I was able to retrieve some of his undamaged memory disks that were stored in the police precinct as evidence. Don’t worry, they don’t need them right now, and they have all the data - ”

“Where are they?”

Turing falls silent.

“Turing, are you telling me you kept his – you kept a part of Leon Dekker’s – the man who tried to murder me for his own fun – you kept this guy’s brain in our house?”

“I only have some of the data!” Turing tries to assure me. “The disks are at TOMCAT’s. They are still working their way through them, trying to extract as much as possible while circumventing the damage done to them.”

“Okay.” I breathe in. I breathe out. I still feel sick. “Okay.” I stare down at my laptop. “I’m sorry, Turing. I...” I close my eyes. I’m in the server room again. The smell of ozone. The buzz of electricity. Breathing. Breathe in. Breathe out. The taste of blood on my tongue.

I open my eyes. Stare at my laptop’s screen. The opened writing document. The empty page where one of the last chapters should be. I hold my head in my hands. Run my fingers through my hair. A bird is singing outside.

Turing is saying my name. They have been for a while, I realize. “Is everything alright?” Their voice is heavy with worry. “Should I call your therapist? A doctor? Lexi?”

“No, it’s...” It isn’t alright. “Can you make me some hot chocolate, please?”

Turing nods and is about to vanish out the door.

“And Turing!” I call after them. They stop, turn around, face screen still all worry. “I’ll help you find her.”

A grin spreads over their screen. “Thank you, it is much appreciated.”

I smile as well. Truly contagious.

[t-am-i-the-asshole]

AITA for taking over a family therapy session with my rant?

I'm (16m) currently in family therapy with my dad, his wife, my sister (14) and stepsiblings (10, 9 and 7). This blended family thing is pretty new still with my dad being remarried for 2 years. My mom died so I only have one home. And I'll be honest I was never excited or really into the whole blended family thing. But I know that's not my decision.

All three of my stepsiblings have food allergies, two have bad ones. So the way we eat changed a lot. This included places we eat at that were a part of traditions. For most of my life we'd eat at this local noodle bar in town for the end of the school year and whenever we had a school thing (play, graduation, report card, etc) and we're not allowed to go there anymore because of the allergies. Even just with dad it's a no go. We can't bring ice cream into the house anymore because my stepsiblings can't eat it. Only my dad and his wife can prepare food so no more making a sandwich for myself either.

Birthdays have changed. My sister and I can no longer eat at our preferred restaurant of choice because of my stepsiblings and we can't bring my favorite dish into the house either. So now it's a place that my stepsiblings love and "is acceptable" for their allergies. For two years dad has talked about how glad we are to make all these changes and how family is worth it.

About four months ago his wife noticed my sister and I weren't engaged with "the family" in the way she thought we'd be. We didn't want to talk to her. She also noticed my sister had cut me and her out of some photos of all of us and used just me and her for her room's art wall. So she and dad decided we needed some family therapy.

Since we started about two months ago officially there has been a lot of what's the problem, why are we there, explain the problem. And my dad has also talked about all the good from a blended family and changes were mentioned and he talks about how happy we all are to make them. Well, last week I got so sick of it and the therapist asked me if I was truly okay with them. And I went off. I said no I'm not. That I hate the changes. That it's unfair. That I never said I wanted my stepsiblings to celebrate my birthday more than I wanted my favorite foods. That these things were decided for me. I said I never would have made that decision because celebrating with them isn't important to me. I'd rather have a good time with the people I love and enjoy food that I love instead. And that I hate not being able to make a sandwich or buy snacks after school. I basically went off for the whole session between a rant and answering questions the therapist put to me.

My dad is so mad at me for doing it and his wife was really upset because her kids heard it. But she was also upset because she accepted on some level I didn't want this ever. She's also kinda mad that I took up a whole session with my rant.

AITA?

[pinknipszz]

what do you think itadori and sukuna’s conversations are like? funny or not i need to eat your thoughts like a tiger

i wanna eat YOU up like a tiger 😛😛😛 okay but this one was SO fun to do like ugh. i was kinda stressing before realizing that yuji is literally jst a high school boy who’s stuck with a man as old as fucking rocks. so i kinda had to channel my inner nine-year-old boy humor. thank u for being my day 1, ilysm bae!! <;33

AVERAGE OFF-SCREEN INTERACTIONS

⤷ ryomen sukuna and itadori yuji (this is NOT a ship post)

YUJI probably says ‘“that’s what she said” or “yo mama” jokes in between sukuna’s yapping. now, yuji can be a very patient and righteous person. he’s willing to eat as many nasty wax fingers as possible and go through an entire execution afterwards if it means saving japan from total annihilation. however, things he can’t stand are sukuna’s endless monologues over some ancient shit he couldn’t care less about. yuji is just a teen with a lot (of wax fingers) on his plate. he needs to cope somehow. 

SUKUNA probably spits in yuji’s food while he’s eating. considering the state of him right now, it’s like. the only thing he can do. yuji’s eating a sandwich? sukuna takes a little bite before spitting all over it. yuji’s eating a delicious bowl of noodles? there’s a mouth on his palm that’s drooling all over his chopsticks. it’s literally so fucking disgusting but sukuna does NOT care. if he’s gonna be stuck with the most insufferable fifteen-year-old boy on the planet, he might as well make the experience unbearable for him too.

YUJI probably listens to the worst songs in the world. and it’s not like “corporate commercial ABCDEFU- and your mom” kind of music (although he does sprinkle that in every once in a while), but more like “cg5/living tombstone gaming parody” music. and it drives sukuna insane. he swears he’s never heard of anything so grating, so intolerable, so abhorrent. it irritates him so much that yuji will take every opportunity to listen to it. sukuna is just his BIGGEST OPP. besides, it’s not yuji’s fault that sukuna can’t comprehend the nuances of fnaf lore.

SUKUNA probably whispers the wrong answers during a test. okay. prior to reawakening the king of curses, yuji’s academic performance was mediocre at best. but now he appreciates even the most mundane classes because they feel like the last bit of normalcy in his life. but sukuna ruins that for him too. he always whispers “are you sure about that one?” and “that’s not how i would’ve done it”  and “you’re fucking stupid” to completely throw him off his game. and it works.

(masterlist)

[burger-hadid]

13/12/2023

I managed to restrict the amount I have eaten today - I ate low calories noodles, a small vegan cheese sandwich, a small amount of cottage cheese on crisp bread, one thin slice of baguette with hummus and some alcohol. I know the alcohol has calories but I have been so stressed trying to get work done for my deadlines and I think that I needed it to calm my anxiety.

I think that this is progress, hunger is something that I need to feel. The cycle of bingeing HAS to stop, hopefully this is the start of that. If I keep preoccupied with studying then maybe I will be distracted from hunger. Normally coming home after drinking leads me to bingeing on high calorie foods but I have control now.

Seeing pictures of myself amongst others spurs my motivation - I am less attractive objectively when I look like I do now. Shame is a prominent feeling, it is necessary to feel my body and force myself to look in the mirror in order to make changes. My body feels too close, squishy yet hard, parts touch too easily and It feels off.

Keeping track of what I eat is the next step in this journey - last time I was able to smoke, I was on fuck ton of sertraline and had lots of free time to kill. Now I have to find new ways to get back to where I was. I promised myself that it would never get bad again, but yet I failed.

Purging is basically out of the question because we know that it could fuck our teeth up really bad and mess up stomach even more than it is. The only option is restricting, the cycle of eating issues has to come back round like it always does.

The collaborative mind possessed is working against me, it's not fair. We all know that eating to excess makes us feel fucking disgusting and only leads to more more bingeing. I have to work our way back to relying on minimum food otherwise everything will fall apart.

This body feels wrong, the way food has been entering is wrong. There has been no rational thought into what we need. It's not that fucking hard! Just stop eating, a hole inside me is trying to be filled, food is not the answer, it needs to be something that will serve me. Learning more, going outside more, experimenting more, anything to replace the repulsive feeling I get after stuffing my face. It is not an exaggeration when I say 'stuffing', over 3000 calories per day? That isn't normal, maybe if you were someone going to the gym 2 times a day, going for runs, swimming - anything active, you could get away with eating that much and NOT gaining weight. I am overindulging myself - making a mockery of the body I was given.

Put up post-it notes for reminders but had to hide them when my friend came into my apartment - wanting to have people around you and not wanting them to see your control affirmations is stressful. I know the way that I go about losing weight is extreme but I NEED it. I need the control, the power over my body, the ability to feel change physically is comparable to nothing else in my life.

The need for sleep seems desperate but I should stay awake and complete my assignments, how can I concentrate? I just want to be smaller. The fury of knowing that I did it before HAS to empower and motivate me - I didn't know it was possible until I reached 62.5 kg. I was powerful, now I feel like a loser who worked so hard to lose so much weight only to gain it back (and more) in just under 3 years. I will get there again, It has to be done. If I am 62.5 kg then I am still within the range of healthy BMI and no one will bother me. I will do it.

[studylifex]

September 15, 2023

Bare with me please ;(

Since my last entry, I have been surviving the biggest storms. Literally and figuratively. The area I live in had huge flash floods - so many beautiful homes and family in distraught. It was so sad. It took me forever to get home. I couldn’t make it to the other side. Every possible street I thought would’ve been cleared simply was flooded along the way so I constantly had to make u-turn after u-turns. Since making it home wasn’t the case I went out for a dinner instead. They restaurant was far up the road where I was at so I said “hey why not” I did call in advance just to make sure the place was not flooded because it just so happens to be located right on the lake (it’s beautiful during sunset). Luckily me, they said it was all clear on that end. I ate a margherrita chicken with a risotto and broccolini. The drink was a chocolate churro martini (sooo good). By the time I was finished with dinner it was all good to go home. It all turns out well since I had nowhere else to be.

That’s just one occasion -

I have experienced car problems recently. I just bought the car from the dealer not less than two months… my car broke down right before an intersection - the car took me like an hour to start back up - then my engine light turns on… the dealer is now taking care of it. I keep telling myself it’s nothing major! So fingers crossed. Seriously because I’m not holding on to dear life. These twenty somethings can take a toll on you.

I have been cooking more at home.

So far I have made:

Candied yams, bake Mac and cheese, fried chicken.

Cilantro lime noodles with crispy chicken

Tacos

Tuna sandwiches

Banana and peanut butter smoothies for breakfast

Wellness juice shots (juicing) I’m on week two!

Lots of internal and external events have taken place but my deep longing for career advancement has been on my mind heavily. All I can think of how it is up to me to push myself to break my own barriers. Do what you love - don’t doubt yourself - don’t set yourself back another a day, week, month, and/or YEAR!

I want and need a sustainable life and I’m here open to the opportunities I can bring value to.

Oh by the way I received my second certificate with Google! - I probably mentioned this already.

I’m starting course three today! Not at Starbucks since I have no car and I just feel like studying in bed couldn’t be so bad. It’s Friday and it’s going to be 11AM so 1 hour tops because I will be cooking soon after:

Loaded Baked Potato’s, Steak and Asparagus.

I haven’t been in the proper space to participate in my studies due to all the chaos. I don’t ever want to take so much time off from my books - I start to feel unorganized/ forgetting material and I just don’t like it. A little bit of effort can help daily.

(Sorry I needed to dump my thoughts badly and update my study blog) overall I still feel like good things are happening.

Last song: Neybors - Heno, ft Elujay, J. Robb