#last chapter of a not-existing story

[bluetraverser]

Long post: The end of a story I never wrote - HighschoolAU - Stardew - Robert/Elliott

...They fell, crushed, stumbled into an embrace and he found himself crying uncontrollably. His entire body felt stiff and limp at the same time, his skin taut over his head and arms while he shuddered and sobbed at the sudden joy and pain of having him in arms reach again. While the life here was good, he had been so terribly lonely, so unable to let go of loving this man and…

(context and full chapter under the cut)

Okay, this needs a bit of introduction because this is basically part of a chapter for a story that would have had 20 or more chapters which I will likely never write. Or not for several years. Who knows. What follows is a very quick summary of the plot and then the actual story.

First of all: Chapter takes place in Pelican town - on the day Elliott moves there, much earlier than in any canon.

Story so far: Elliott and Robert both go to highschool??? Idk, a school where you go to when you're 18 at least, I am not comfortable with younger. Elliott is a rich kid who hates his parents and vice versa. Bookish, unpopular, somewhat aloof, pretty... in a word, Elliott.

Robert is a popular sports guy with all the cliches of gay guy who is terrified of people knowing he is gay so hes a bully and seemingly ladies man who always finds excuses to never actually do anything with them.

Obviously they fall in love.

Both are terrified of it, both pretend like nothings going on. After a very complicated instance of the good old "there is only one bed", they spend several nights of passion before ultimately Elliott breaks up with him and says they will likely never meet again because his dad is a monster, they will never be safe, yada yada, Robert does not take it well.

At the start of this chapter, neither of them has any idea what has become of the other but Elliott has finally managed to get away from his abusive family. Its been 2 years since they last met.

I think that hopefully set up all the most important points. Feel free to ask or comment about this!

-----------------------

Elliott felt an odd, uncomfortable weight within himself.

This was it.

He was free.

But he was also poor. He had no degree, barely any money… The bus stopped. „Pelican town!“ Elliott got off with a heavy heart.

It was beautiful.

He breathed in.

He dropped his bags.

Fresh, full air made his lungs blow wide, made the sheer act of breathing a joy. He smelled the ocean and the forests, the vitalizing greens of vibrant moss soaking in the country sun… It was invigorating.

Still, he picked up his bags again and looked around, trying to get a sense of which direction he was supposed to go. The shed he had rented was supposedly right at the ocean. From his notes, that meant he first needed to go left, then across a square, across a bridge and to the left again… But was that left from facing the bus stop or the other way around? He could see a fenced in farm with a house down the street, to his right. Going left was probably wise, but… He dropped his bags again and walked a little bit closer, curious as to his new environment and Neighbors. It was a nice little house that looked like it had recently been renovated. The fields that lay before it weren’t spectacularly wide but seemed to span a large assortment of different plants. How curious! He had thought it would be more common to source only one kind of plant per field. Was this a commercial farm or just someone living there with a big garden? His gaze grazed the mailbox and his heart stuttered in his chest as reality seemed to suddenly be turned on its hinges.

Robert Llyr

!

Elliott felt the air being sucked out of his lungs, stunned, confused, desperate in that insane hope suddenly rushing his mind away. It’s impossible! It can’t be him! It’s a freak coincidence! It’s...it’s…

He squinted over the fields, trying to find sight of anyone doing anything there and- A blond man surfaced between the rows of corn. He had spiky hair and bend down just now, doing something with the plants. Disappointment plummeted through his belly. He was starting to feel sick. The permanent up and down of this weird day, these rushes of hope and dread and pain and that blinding beauty of his new freedom but the sickness of being just so god-damn lonely on this path- He put his hands on his face, breathing. Trying to collect himself, trying to calm down. „Hey! You okay there?“

Elliott startled but the blonde was already approaching him in quick steps. „Looking a lil shaken there, mate.“

„Uhm. Uh. I’m fine, I’m fine, thank you!“

The man examined him for a moment, then his bags. „You new in town?“

Elliott awkwardly shrugged, then nodded. „Yes. I just got off the bus.“

„Ah. Lucky you that the bus runs at all. The man who lives here fixed it only last month. It was broken for years before that!“

„Oh. So. You, uh, you don’t live here?“

The man chuckled. „Nah man, couldn’t afford it. Robert lives here. He inherited the plot and moved here last year. My name is Sam, I live down in Willow Lane with my mom and brother. Do you know where you’re going?“

„I… Yes. I rented a place at the beach. And I wrote down directions. I was just curious I guess and…“ He contemplated for a moment how open to be with this person. He’d been friendly enough and… asking couldn’t hurt, could it. „...say, this Robert Llyr. Do you know him on a personal level? Like… do you know where he lived before?“

Sam made a motion to grab one of his bags. „Want my help carrying your stuff? I’m headed in the direction you’re going so I might as well help you out.“

„I- Uh- I… S-sure, that would be great. Thank you.“

Oh god, what a bumbling idiot I am being! One hint that even reminds me of him makes me a complete and utter fool! What must this man think of me already!

„Sorry, I just. I knew a Robert Llyr once and. It kind of shook me to see his name. I’m Elliott, by the way.“

Sam grinned at him widely. „Well hello Elliott. I’m Sam. But I already said that. Come on, let’s get going.“ He grabbed his bag and started walking. „And sure, I know Robert, we’re friends. Otherwise I wouldn’t have walked over his property and stolen one of his cauliflowers.“ He jangled a bag in his other hand around.

„You stole of him?“

„Not really. It’s cool with him if we take stuff and tell him later and he tells us what we owe once a week. Works out pretty okay. He’s a good egg but I don’t know where he lived before. He’s a little bit secretive like that. But he’s been working his ass off with the farm and making this town a better place, so. Not like anyone could complain about him, ever. What’s the Robert like that you know?“

„He’s...well…“ Handsome. Beautiful. Brave. Sad. God I miss you-„...complicated. We met under somewhat...difficult circumstances and he wasn’t always as nice as he could have been, I guess. But that wasn’t his fault and…“ He sighed. „It’s. Complicated. I mean, I’ll see if its him in good time, right?“

„I would guess so.“ They had reached what was probably the center of town. „This is basically the place where it gets most busy in this place. If at all. You got Pierres over there, selling mostly groceries n stuff, you got the mayors house over there and theres a notice board in front of Pierres shop if somebody in town has a small job or something.“

„Jobs?“

„Yeah, like, if they want somebody to fetch something for them or help them with a project. Things like that. Usually pays okay and people are grateful. Theres also a joja markt a lil further up the road and Clint’s shop is over there but I think he only sells rocks, no idea. I don’t really talk to him.“ They had gone across the square. „And this is the road where I live, Willow Lane.“ He handed Elliott's bag back to him. „You got any questions before I leave you to find your way across the bridge?“

Elliott stared for a moment, still trying to somehow digest the entire situation. „I...No.“ He managed a smile. „Thank you so much. You’ve been a great help.“

„No sweat, man! Take it easy!“ He waved and wandered off, leaving Elliott with a pounding, heavy heart and all the questions in the world.

Where would this person be? What should he do if it wasn’t him? ...what if it was him? Would he forgive him? Was he single? Ye gods, he was desperate to be with him. Had been for the past two years! But the need had been lying dormant and buried for so long now, it had been bearable. The current state was like a fresh, overwhelming physical urge to find him and hold him. To just have him back in his arms! But it was impossible. Impossible. He had to steel himself for the strong likelihood of this just being a freak name coincidence. That he would never see him again.

He walked across the beach and to the ocean.

It was the first time he saw the ocean.

It should be a wonderful moment. And it was. It was amazing to see it.

But it also felt hollow.

Everything seemed to mean nothing like this. Everything was just so dull, so… A figure sat at the end of the pier, near the hut he assumed to be the one he had rented.

Black hair. Slightly hunched.

It couldn’t be.

Elliott dropped his bags again and slowly walked onto the pier, barely daring to breathe. The figure looked even buffer than Robert had been. A broad back. Strong arms. The man was fishing. He looked. A lot like Robert did. As far as he could tell from behind. But the possibility of the man turning and it just being someone completely different-

He took another small step forward.

Another.

And Another. He had to know. He had to know…

The person turned and Elliott's heart stuttered out of his chest, unable to say anything in this moment.

It was him.

Robert looked at him with an unreadable expression. He got up, wiping his hands on a tissue, stepping up to him. He looked just a little bit different. Stronger around the jaw. Overall, even fitter. Kinder in the eyes. More peaceful. A small smile started gracing his features as he stepped up to him, reaching out with one hand, as if to see if he was real.

Elliott took his hand. Heard himself make a whimpering, emotional sound. Or had Robert done that? Robert smiled wider, blinking tears from his eyes. „How… are you here?“

Elliott pressed his lips together, unable to keep the tears from falling. „I...I don’t know.“ He wished he had something poetic to say but he was completely overwhelmed, clasping both his hands now, so full of uncertainty and need and-

-----

They fell, crushed, stumbled into an embrace and Robert found himself crying uncontrollably. His entire body felt stiff and limp at the same time, his skin taut over his head and arms while he shuddered and sobbed at the sudden joy and pain of having him in arms reach again. While the life here was good, he had been so terribly lonely, so unable to let go of loving this man and… He cupped his face, looking at him, drinking in his strawberry hair and those green eyes.

And remembered.

He sighed and let go, rubbing his eyes. „I… it’s. Good to see you. Elliott.“

Elliott stared at him with pained eyes. „Yes… i… Robert I’m. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry! At the time… I was sure there was no hope! I didn’t think so now! Or I wouldn’t have…“

Robert shrugged. „It’s… not like I didn’t understand. I. I’m. I just. I’m not sure what to feel right now.“ He swallowed hard. „What are you doing here?“

„I… guess I’m moving here today.“ Elliott smiled. „I finally got a restraining order against my father and his goons, I worked a little while to get some money and then just. Left. I…“ He sighed. „I would have tried to find you if. If I had had any idea��� I suppose. It didn’t occur to me to investigate where you could have gone, to be honest. I didn’t feel like I would deserve your forgiveness. And I felt. I would not be able to bear your disdain, should you… should you feel bitter towards me.“ „So you had no idea I was here?“

Elliott shook his head. „No. I just. I worked for a little while to get a few savings. Then looked for a cheap place near the ocean somewhere. Earlier I saw your mailbox and. Dared not to hope. But. I. Longed for you anyway.“

„God… you make me feel so...conflicted.“

Elliott smiled wryly. “And why is that?”

Robert groaned. If only he wasn’t so cute! If only he hadn’t missed him so goddamn much! Robert had been in absolute agony when Elliott had left with the definitive statement that he didn’t think they would meet again. That Robert should move on. Give up on them. That they would never be safe together. Had left without really giving Robert a say in any of it. And he had been mad for a long time. Because he still loved him. Because he had missed him more than he felt appropriate for what had ultimately been a quick fling in his school years… And yet. Looking at him now, he wanted nothing but give in and fall into him again completely. Robert leaned his head on Elliott's shoulder, sighing. He felt Elliott slowly, hesitantly put his arms around him again. Allowing him time to stop him if he had wanted to… “I’m sorry I hurt you, Robert. I understand if you don’t want to just forgive me.”

------

“It’s… less that I don’t want to. More like I’m not sure if I should.”

Elliott leaned his head against him, trying to just… to just not… God. He wanted this to be okay. He wanted him to be okay. Both of them. They were finally together again but… but… He pressed a kiss to the others head.

I love you.

He had never said the words to him. He hadn’t known when they were together. And later...later… “I. Don’t want to pressure you. And I won’t. I…” He took a deeper breath, trying to feel okay with maybe letting go off him, but Robert was holding on to him tightly, despite the situation… “...I mean. I will be living here now. And you are too. And. If you don’t want to see me for a bit. Then. I understand. Even though I. I would. Of course. Very much want… to see you…” He was staring at his lips. Robert looked at him through tear-stained eyes with a stubborn expression. Elliott waited for a reply but Robert was just staring at him now. Elliott tried not to be too obvious the way he stared at him, tried to stop thinking about wanting to kiss him but the more he tried to stop himself, the more he wanted it, imagined what their lips felt like together, wanted to find a quiet place with him and-

Robert put a hand on his face and kissed him. Elliott felt a bolt of energy unleash in him as he rushed against him to kiss him back, pulling him closer, losing himself in the sweetness of his mouth that dissolved all thoughts and filled him with bliss… They slowly opened another more, lips rubbing and pressing against another while his tongue sought entrance into his mouth and… Mmmh…

He stroked through his hair, down his back, pulled him closer around the hip while he pushed himself forward, thoroughly lost in the sensation now, kissing his lost love on this pier at the edge of his new life, unexpectedly having salvaged the best thing from his old… They finally broke apart after who knew how long, heated and dazed… Elliott stroked his face, fighting the urge to kiss that dazed smile some more. He brushed his lips over his cheek. “Does this mean you want to see me some more too?”

Robert laughed and kissed his nose. “I don’t know if I will regret this. But right now I want to drag you to my home and have sex with you. Which is not actually what we should do, given that you just arrived and all. But yes.” He smiled. “I guess I do want to see you ‘some more’.”

[Plot note, timeskip; off-screen: they go back to the beach. Robert say he needs to sell his fresh fish, Elliott uses the chance to say hi to willy who is please he already knows someone and immediately knows whats up so leaves them alone in the cabin pretty soon but they soon realize they should go to roberts place cause they cannot keep their hands off eachother and Elliott simply wants to shower before doing it for the first time in two years. they decide to shower together] [some mild sex stuff ahead]

Elliott unfastened his tie while brushing his teeth, tracing his eyes over his now-finally-again partner, likewise brushing his teeth. Elliott could barely wait to take his clothes off and see all of him. He already looked delicious, sweats and sweatshirt sticking beautifully to his strong body regardless of fashion choice. Robert rinsed his mouth and Elliott started nearly tripping over himself when he took off his shirt. God, he looked good. The farmwork was certainly working in favor of his physique… He quickly rinsed his mouth, put down the toothbrush and the next moment they were kissing again. Elliott groaned into the kiss, thoroughly delighted to feel his naked chest beneath his hands while they both worked on opening Elliotts remaining buttons… Robert pushed himself against him and his hands wandered down… They had to at least briefly wash themselves, he knew. But stumbling naked beneath the shower with him, so close, so… mmh…

------

Robert wanted to savor this. Two long years since he’d been with him. And all the last times they’d had sex had been fast and desperate in half-public places. Uncomfortable and full of fear in so many terrible ways… But he wasn’t really thinking anything any-more. The water was rushing around them, his hands wandering across Elliotts back and chest and ass, tempted to rub his cock, take it in his mouth, to turn over and…

Elliott pressed him against the wall, kissing him deeply, reaching between his legs-

Robert cried out in pleasure, trying to adjust, trying to spread his legs more in the slippery space when Elliott kneeled down somewhat suddenly and his brain gave out…

He started coming back to himself more when Elliott washed off the shower lotion he’d spread on both of them after. He’d been holding on to the grip bar while Elliott was pleasuring him and was now slowly coming down from the high…

“You okay, darling?”

“...yes…”

Elliott smiled and kissed his forehead, then turned off the water. “I suppose, there goes my plan of keeping my hair dry.” He reached for the towels.

“Heh. Well, you didn’t have to go down on me.”

“Mmh, but I loved doing it.” He squeezed his hand, then pressed a couple of kisses to his cheek. “...And I cannot wait to continue.” ---- They tumbled to bed, kissing and stroking and a part of him reminded him just how incredible this was. Twenty-four hours ago he hadn’t known if he would ever see him again. Had been anxious and unsure about leaving his old home for good, going to a place where he knew nobody with very little resources…

Now he had him in his arms, entwined as they kissed and loved another and it felt better than any time they had done this before.

They were free. They were both free.

He stilled. Pulled himself out of the kiss and focused on embracing him. He rubbed their cheeks together and pressed close, sighing softly. He had his eyes closed and just breathed. Breathed the beauty of the moment. Focused on this feeling of his loves strong arms holding him so tight and so loving, of this buzzing heady feeling in his mind that blinded him to all but the delicate feeling pouring out of him… “I love you.” He whimpered, overwhelmed by his emotion. “I love you, Robert.” He looked into his partners tear-stricken ocean-blues. “I never thought I’d see you again. But in the pain of being heart-broken, I relished in knowing the truth of this feeling. I was prepared to carry the pain until my end, if it meant I could also keep carrying the love. Even if it meant loneliness for all this life.”

Robert sobbed, emotion heavy on his face, changing from sorrow to contemplation and perhaps, some joy in a small moment until a smile graced his features and he stroked over Elliotts face again. “...and now?”

Elliott laughed. “Now I hold you in my arms… in what seems like the most unbelievable twist of my life. In what seems like the universe must have a conscience because our paths leading us here seem to unbelievable to be possible. Now up is down, the world is a circle. The birds sing and will always sing in the mountains of the world because I have you now and in this moment. And if all fails and my heart will be broken again, my love for you will still be whole. Made full, finally, by being here with you, finally offering my heart to you in earnest.”

Robert rubbed his face, crying, shaking his head… “Jesus christ, Elliott… How can you...how…”

Elliott pressed his lips together, hoping, praying he hadn’t ruined it all, That this didn’t mean… Robert embraced him again. “You goddamn dramatic idiot… Of course I love you too!”

Elliott shuddered, hugging him back, more tears flowing from his eyes while his brain seemed to spin and dance and light bloomed deep within him. “I love you.” He cupped his face, smiling like a fool no doubt but more happy than he’d ever been in his life. “I love you.” He kissed him once, twice. “I love you.”

“I love you too! And I hate that I had to wait two years to be able to tell you!”

Elliott smiled and kissed his nose. “Me too. But now we’re together. Isn’t that all that should matter?”

Robert made a face. “Kind of. I guess. I...argh! You’re just… you’re just…you’re… ah…”

Elliott had started nibbling at his neck, breathing warmly into his ear making soft, urging sounds while he touched him some more and…

“Elliott-”

“Hmm?” He kissed him…

...and all thought vanished...

[ruvviks]

In the fourth and final season of All That's Left, Mac and Layla and their friends are left with one final job; travel back to fallen Opportunity, the city where it all began, to gather evidence of Matrix Corp creating the virus that led to the end of the world, sabotaging cure research, and being responsible for the destruction of the megalopolis. Hunted down on two fronts, having lost dear friends along the way, and faced with hordes of nearly unkillable mutated ghouls, the group is slowly but surely starting to run out of time. One last journey, to expose the truth about Matrix and shut them down once and for all— but who will live to tell the tale? [SEASON ONE HERE] // [SEASON TWO HERE] // [SEASON THREE HERE]

taglist (opt in/out)

@velocitic, @deadrlngers, @euryalex, @ordinarymaine, @gurathins;

@mojaves, @shellibisshe, @dickytwister, @mnwlk, @rindemption;

@ncytiri, @calenhads, @noirapocalypto, @florbelles, @radioactiveshitstorm;

@strafethesesinners, @fashionablyfyrdraaca, @radioactive-synth, @katsigian, @estevnys;

@elgaravel, @aezyrraeshh, @carlosoliveiraa

[revasserium]

my favorite thing about stories, be it books or manga, tv shows or movies, or even epic poems and recited songs, is that they never really end -- the part we tell might end: there will always be a last page, or a last episode, a list minute, or a last line, but not really -- because even if it ends here, the story itself keeps on going -- in your heart, in your mind, in the hearts and minds of everyone who's read it or watched it, listened to it or sang it.

and the best part of all that is, even if it does "end", you can go right back to the beginning and start again.

because yes, stories end. the ending will always be there.

but then, so will the beginning.

[shummthechumm]

was kind of hoping g5 would explain where tf the rest of the pony population is, honestly. its hard to believe that every unicorn/pegasi/earth pony was compressed down into their respective towns/cities.

mym had a rough time juggling it's story so im not surprised this was never fleshed out more but--if they had the chance in a future series--i would love to see that. getting more into it below the cut (loosing it i fear):

back when we only had the movie i had a theory that there had been a major conflict that ultimately ended in the pony populations plummeting; and that ultimately fueling twilights decision to seal away their magic in the crystals--which would lead to the races separating after the fact. eventually, by some form or fashion, the crystals were separated (maybe stolen....?) between bridlewood, maretime bay, and zephyr heights.

however opaline being introduced in mym tripped up this theory to the point where it's pretty obvious that's not what happened--or at least not exactly. discord alludes to something too terrible to describe in the comics so there's that? (also "mane-ificent 7"??? lmfao)

not even mentioning how this page utterly destroys the "magic removal resulting in pony exodus" theory; because it seems unified-equestria was able to exist for a while longer after the crystals were created:

perhaps opaline instigated more conflict in the following years (after the mane 6 have died off...?) which ultimately resulted in magic failing the ponies. if not her, then im sure the hard work the of our g4 girlies slowly faded because the equestria became too comfortable, and perhaps stopped fighting for unity. (another point i remember appreciating when we only had the movie to go off of:)

if so, that then brings up the question of HOW DID THE CRYSTAL GET SPLIT BETWEEN THE RACES BEFORE THE MOVIE???

did argyle find the earth pony piece during a history excursion or was it passed down to him??? how did alphabittle get the respective unicorn piece??? the pegasus crystal was literally a part of queen haven's crown--was there a point where all pony types swiped the crystals following the failing of unity to PREVENT the other races from using it against them???

but then???? we had the whole thing with elder flower and her fuckass story about a bat and web and whatever tf that implies that the time passed between g4 and g5 is way shorter than i anticipated??? also "opaline was here the whole time guys we swear. dont you remember our good friend opaline??? the opaline who was CHILDHOOD FRIENDS with LUNA and CELESTIA in SKYROS???"

so maybe the equestria we've seen so far (as of chapter 6) is just a pocket of the current pony population, but if so, does that also imply that the other settlements are ALSO hostile towards other pony types? because wouldn't the unity crystals have been unrestricting magic to some extent (depending on how many ponies/creatures were collectively getting along)? the simplest answer is that the writers failed to think ahead but i wanna give them the chance to reveal a little more because there are still MAJOR things we dont understand.

[skibasyndrome]

my productivity is seriously gonna suffer if all my fave authors keep updating all my fave stories on weekends like this 🥲💜

[lucky-clover-gazette]

for some reason tomato soup became a topic of discussion with my friend last night and i had to restrain myself from telling him about the time i used spilled tomato soup as a homoerotic metaphor for blood on a character’s hands

[reaperfromtheabyss]

😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️🚀😭❤️

[lemongogo]

[aroacettorney]

when will aup sidestories return from war and stop leaving me bitter about how the main story ended

[shidoukanae]

Did a study of a panel i like for a manga with absolutely my favorite female character i've seen yet and thought i'd post it here too in the hopes of eventually finding fans of this series when they inevitably, like me, look for more content of this story :'D

I could gush about this funny, lovestarved, absolutely downright sympathetic and villainous lady who absolutely deserves to be family with the protag for so many hours if you let me she is literally so perfect and everything I have ever wanted from female characters before.

I've gone from going "ooooo she's such a cool antagonist who is such a funny little mystery i LOVE her" to "yeah she's kind of on the insane spectrum but tbf who wouldn't be fucked up in her situation TwT" to "i WILL cry over her and she is completely in the right for doing what she's doing and i can't believe i ever believed she wasn't the heroine she's supposed to be :'D"

[curiosity-killed]

"its basically wednesday" wip thursday

“I have disappointed you, Your Royal Highness,” Pasquale said, a touch wry. “No,” she blurted out, too hasty. Part of her leapt with an inarticulate, inexplicable relief that he hadn’t stayed, that he had left by his own choosing; equal and opposite, part of her recoiled at the thought that he could leave family and duty behind with so little guilt. Only, even as she thought it, she caught herself: his posture was tighter than she’d ever seen it, his smile more brittle. “It’s just that you haven’t convinced me of your original point,” she said, aiming for a lofty tone. “You made your choice for the living, but by Aeridian measures, Callebero was already dead.” He blinked once at her and then cracked a startled grin. “I suppose I have already conceded that I know little of Aeridian ghosts.” This seemed to settle his wariness, and they fell back into their earlier quiet. He hummed a song she didn’t recognize and continued his work on the fragrant crown. Jisel sat, hands still on her papers but thoughts far afield. “Do you miss it?” she asked after a while. “Your home.” He gave a considering hum and rotated the crown in his hands as if looking for gaps. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “But it is a difficult place to return to after you’ve left, and my space there would no longer match the shape of me.”

once more i am holding up my babies (ocs) and rattling them at the world

[edettethegreat]

THEY PULLED A MADOKA TWIST. THEY PULLED A MADOKA TWIST AND I DIDNT EVEN SEE IT COMING

[whumpitisthen]

You're not gonna believe this

[abyssalpriest]

anyway. I have so much to say on this thing. So does Lev. God. I hear him talk about it and I'm in love, it's heaven. Worship of the Priest is as important as worship of the God, the hoard of bodies as the Leviathan - the anonymity and collective power of all together being the many-bodied Leviathan. Invoking the darkness and the depths of the ocean, the sun as blinding information, the world as your power but also the world as having power over you. Divine cannibalism - surrendering and letting go of your painful emotions as energy to him and then turning around and feasting on his energy. Directing him like a body to be puppeted, like swaying the ocean. Ecstatic possession....

But most importantly this continuous fucking theme of teaching. He wants me writing essays on what worship is, what roleplay in religion is, what exactly the worshiper is getting out of worshiping mentally energetically socially, what rituals do and how they work, etc. It's like studying physics in a lab - you read through all the theories and do all the maths, then you go to the lab and see it in action. You study what you want to know, both from our sources and external ones (and that's encouraged), and you choose what you want to engage with for your own reasons... in exchange. You have power to request, and he has power to request in return. You learn your power by being a cub standing up to face the lion.

You worship because you're experimenting in the lab understanding your relation to him, to the heavier, more powerful beings surrounding our playing field... But you don't practice out of the lab. The metaphorical lab is a mindset that is engaging with the religion in a practical way. Everything is to be done consciously or with the conscious choice to give in for a while, every celebration is supposed to be understood and then practiced and then understood more, intimately, intricately through the practice. You see how your body and mind react to authority, you learn, you become a conscious body of the Leviathan (and you can choose to leave at any time. You'll forever be altered, but this religion is a bridge to awareness, not a binding to your soul)

It's about awareness of so many things. It's about states of consciousness ultimately and the self and relation to others. It's about bringing awareness to your role within a community, how your emotions arise and how to make them do so consciously, how to retake and reclaim and imbibe in the power of giving, submission, and other things because like... People crave religion for a reason, not everyone, but those that do often understand the ecstacy of surrender, of witnessing the beyond.... That's a power. It's also an opportunity to simultaneously be a worshiper and an equal and a puppeteer of greater forces

Simultaneous is the key word. It's intelligent use of duality, power in surrender, surrender in power, personal power in worship, the self in the god and the god in the self. Man. Anyway

[clenastia]

theres this fanfic author

who writes AMAZING ff15 fanfics

...and also consistently does my #1 biggest ick in fanfic ever (changes a character's gender explicitly to write a ship without it being gay)

it was something i'd half-suspected for a while, just based off how they wrote said characters. you know, there's just that VIBE to "im only changing genders to avoid the gay" type stories and it was sort of hitting it but the author is good enough that i wasn't QUITE 100% certain.

and then they straight up unironically quoted the bible in one fic and asterisk censored curse words (even mild ones like damn) in another

and now im just like.

100% certain they're my least favorite type of religious UGH

[demonio-fleurs]

To me, what is so fantastic about One Piece Fan Letter is the emphasis on the way the Straw Hats have created these connections in the lives of people they have never met. The ending scene, with all the hands putting together the puzzle pieces, and the way that all these connections came together in one dazzling way-- I loved that. I teared up at that. Wherever the Straw Hats go, they leave behind all of these puzzle pieces for people to put together and create bonds that would not have existed had the Straw Hats not shown up!

And it also just... Makes me so in love with the concept of the world after Luffy becomes King of The Pirates. I know that Oda has the final chapter planned in his head, and I doubt we will really see the long lasting effects of Luffy achieving the title of Pirate King + his dream, and I really do not want a sequel series ala Boruto or Yasahime, but.... I want to see a world in which children believe they can become a Brave Warrior of the Sea thanks to Usopp, I want to see more children look at Nami and realize they don't NEED to have a Devil Fruit or Haki or muscles to have adventures. I want to see the next generation of the One Piece world believe so strongly in their dreams, that they set out to accomplish them.

One Piece Fan Letter really opened the door, I think, for more and more stories about the "regular" people in the world of One Piece, the people you don't see in the arcs because they're the nondescript background characters, and how the Straw Hat Crew has changed them. And I want that. To me, that is fantastic.