#last art party i had had a month-long pause and it shows :x

[vilyar]

2nd art party!! Was even quieter than before, less artblocked, and decided to focus on fewer people x) again forgot to ask for anyone's @'s so to the wild wide web i'll release these

[jkstompers]

just to study | jjk

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader

summary: your seat partner asks if you’re free after class, just to study.

genre: fluff, college!au, established friendship, flirtationship, mutual pining, they go to a ‘frat’ party together, also yugyeom! a sweetheart<3 we love him.

warnings: mature!!, mentions of alcohol + alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, strong language, SEXUAL TENSION, mentions of dick sucking??, hints of a wet dream on oc’s end, very strong urges to kiss each other but no kisses today </3, that’s pretty much it!

word count: 7.4k (i...kinda went overboard)

authors’ note: hello!! this is a pt. 2 to sleepyhead! it’s based a few weeks after so yeah <3 also the pacing is kind of weird but… i don’t really know how being drunk is so............(＞人＜) i’m sorry about that! one scene was inspired by this post haha it was just so cute to think about i had to do it. ALSO i literally haven’t taken anatomy since high school so i just used random terms from quizlet T_T pls excuse that as well! but otherwise, enjoy!!!!!!!!! (っ^_^)っ

(if u see any typos...ignore them pls T_T)

side note: imagine jk looking like this when he goes to the party lmao classic fboy look with the camo bomber and his piercings ugh <3

banner pic creds here ! <3

you made it to class on time today, woke to your alarm and even had enough time to eat breakfast before you came. in a particularly good mood, you made your way up the stairs to the row jungkook was sitting in, hoping that the seat next to him was empty (you didn’t have to hope, jungkook always saved the seat next to him for you, no matter what.)

“good morning, ___!” jungkook’s voice greets you the same as always as soon as you appear next to him. he moves his bag out of the way for you to sit down.

he looks especially cute today. his long floppy hair framing his face, his sweet smile beaming up to you. you wonder how dumb you looked drooling over him for a minute before you replied, “hi jungkook, how are you?” with the same smile on your face that you show him every time he sees you. it never changes, but it never fails to make jungkook’s heart skip a beat.

“i’m doing okay, you?” he answers while you pull out your laptop.

you didn’t have a chance to reply before your professor starts talking. informing the class about the test that’s planned at the end of the month, finals in two months, and then dropping the bomb that there’s a quiz tomorrow about the things you’ve learned in the past week. a slight panic takes over you, although you didn’t know why, you understood what he was teaching and you were retaining all of the information well. but when the professor pulls up all the information on the screen to review it all, all of the words and pictures overwhelm you.

to make things worse, jungkook is to your left, not paying attention to a word your professor is saying. instead, playing some game where he has to click his touchpad an obnoxious amount of times. your attention is split between jungkook’s erratic tapping and the notes that the professor projects onto the screen, even though his computer barely made any noise, his incessant movement was distracting you.

“jungkook, you’re taking notes and playing a game?” your voice comes out as a rushed whisper. there’s a snort that comes from him before he nods. you couldn’t be mad at him. “there’s a quiz on all of this tomorrow, you know?”

“i know,” he continues to tap and click, the motion growing incredibly annoying. you didn’t know why you couldn’t have just tried to block it out, but he was just so close to you and admittedly, you looked at his hands, a lot. the way that his fingers tapped against his keyboard and his veins that accentuate his already beautiful hands, it was free art you could look at, how could you not? at this point, you’re contemplating holding his hand to make him stop tapping.

you were in the middle of typing when he finally stops, leaning back and stretching his arms up into the air. you let out a sigh of relief, until he starts again. apparently he reached the next level on his game, tapping even faster, if that was even fucking possible.

quietly, you groan. turning your attention solely on him. you place your hand on top of his, the tapping ceasing almost immediately. “please, jungkook, you’re distracting me.”

he looks at your hand before he looks at you, his chocolate doe eyes wide to the action. he gulps, “sorry.”

you remove your hand, focusing back to the presentation. jungkook feels the heat from his cheeks travel to his hand. the feeling of your hand on his wasn’t something he was expecting to experience today, but he wants nothing more than for you to do it again. he exits the game tab and changes his focus to the lecture.

or moreso, you focusing on the lecture.

you look so cute. your cheek pressed up against your fist. he stares at the way that your forehead creases in concentration. he taps on your arm that’s resting on the table, “hey, you look like you’re stressed out.”

you turn your head slightly to look over to him. “that’s because i am,” you send him a quick smile before you go back to looking at the projection.

he furrows his eyebrows, “why? you’re smart, there’s no need to worry about what you get on this.” you were an a+ student, never anything less than that. jungkook knows that you ace every test that you take, so he doesn’t quite understand why you’re so stressed.

“because jungkook,” you groan. you expected a lot from yourself, sure b’s were okay, but a’s and a+’s were what you wanted and what you thought would make you feel satisfied. there was no way you could explain this without sounding like an overachiever. so you just sigh, “i’m just not really prepared.”

jungkook thinks of the perfect way to spend more time with you, snapping his fingers before suggesting, “we should study together after class, studies show that studying with someone else will give you an a+, guaranteed.” the confidence in his voice makes you smile, and helps you ease up a little bit.

you raise an eyebrow, a laugh creeping up from your lungs. “source for that statistic, sir?”

he taps his right temple, the gesture making you snort. “no but seriously, i’ll help you out,” he assures. his laptop turns towards you to show you all the notes he took, different words highlighted and colored differently.

you act like you think about it, staying quiet for a minute or so. but you know the answer was yes no matter what. “just to study?” you tease. jungkook raises his eyebrows in surprise, an amused smile on his face, “just kidding, we can go to mine? i owe you for the ride you gave me like two weeks ago.” you tap your fingers against your laptop nervously, your teeth taking in your bottom lip as you ask. you haven’t had a guy over to your apartment, not since you’ve moved in. there’s a certain anxiousness that comes with the suggestion.

jungkook nods, “sounds good.”

“okay, again.” you brush your hair behind your ears, preparing yourself once more for another pass of the flashcards. the two of you have been at it with these cards for the past hour or so, you were determined to get these right no matter how long it took. jungkook knew you were gonna get it down, you only had three more cards, these ones specifically stumping you.

“aponeuroses,” he looks at the card and then to you.

“connective tissue that forms a broad sheet which attach muscle to bone or muscle to other muscles,” you speak confidently. jungkook nods, moving onto the next card of the set of three.

“endomysium,” he reads the card. you hesitate on this one for a second, he plays with the corner of the card until you snap your fingers.

“that’s the connective tissue surrounding the… the— uh, oh! muscle fiber?” your brain works extra hard. jungkook rewards you with another nod, flipping to the last card.

“fascia.”

“dense connective tissue,” you begin, pausing to think of the rest of the answer. you start biting your thumb nail, knowing there’s more to it but it’s not coming to your brain quick enough.

jungkook just stares, watching your facial expressions as you search for the answer in your brain. this could be the worst crush he’s ever had, he thinks you’re cute when you’re just sitting there, thinking. he doesn’t remember ever liking someone this much, most of the time his crushes went away after a few weeks or so. but it’s almost been an entire year since he’s started crushing on you, and it still hasn’t stopped. you still manage to find a way to make his thoughts surround you.

“separates and holds individual tissues? it’s the one that extends into the tendons, right?” you perk up after a minute or so. your brain finally coming up with the answer. you blame jungkook’s presence for slowing you down. maybe you shouldn’t have accepted this offer to study together, because how could you focus when jeon jungkook is sitting right in front of you?

“you’re amazing,” he praises, setting the flashcards down onto the table. you blush at the compliment, jungkook takes notice, but he doesn’t mind, he thinks pink is pretty on you. he’s never wanted to kiss your cheeks as much as he did now, and trust, he’s thought about it many, many times. “all done?” he asks after staring at you for the longest time.

you nod, “just gonna highlight these terms to review them later so i can get it down 100%.”

jungkook watches as you diligently reread your notes and highlight them. an apple on the table taking his attention away for a second when he realizes he hasn’t eaten at all today. he takes a bite, the loud crunch noise seemingly startling the both of you. it makes you turn your head and raise an eyebrow towards him.

“sorry,” he chews, “hungry.”

your stare lingers a little longer than you wanted it to. his cheeks are full of apple, you can’t help but laugh a little. “there’s still the sticker on it,” you point out.

he turns the apple around to see the blue sticker. peeling it off, he holds it on his fingertip, an idea sprouting in his mind to see that sweet smile of yours again. so he places the sticker on your cheek, your gaze moving from your screen to him and then to the fruit sticker now stuck onto your cheek. “get it? ‘cause you’re sweet like this apple is,” he smiles.

oh my god. you blush embarrassingly, your entire face flushed pink as you hide your cheeks behind your hands. he laughs at your reaction. jungkook was feeling bold today, so he moves forward, gently taking your hands away from your face to see the cute pink tint he caused. he sits back, admiring your pretty face.

you feel yourself burning hotter and hotter the longer he stares, looking everywhere but his face, too scared to make eye contact. you look back to your computer screen, “um— there’s pasta in the fridge— if you’re hungry, i made it last night.” you offer, but he declines politely, telling you that he has to leave pretty soon because his friends are expecting him to join them today.

begrudgingly, you watch as jungkook packs his things up. he thinks about how content he felt hanging out with you today, and how he wanted to do it again, as soon as possible. a thought pops into his head before he opens the door to leave. he turns on his heel.

you weren’t expecting the sudden turn, accidentally bumping into his chest. “oof! sorry.”

“it’s alright,” he laughs, helping you steady yourself by holding your shoulders. “i just wanted to ask— uh, my friends are throwing a party tomorrow night, do you— do you wanna come?” his words come out jumbled, jungkook never fails to trip on his words whenever he’s near you.

tomorrow night...it’s a friday tomorrow, the quiz is tomorrow, why the fuck not? a stress reliever from all the studying you’ve done. “sure,” you answer after a minute or so of deliberation. you look up at him with a smile, suddenly realizing how close the two of you are.

your eyes flicker between his eyes and his lips, the close proximity makes you hold your breath. “great! i can pick you up? be your DD?” he quirks his head, a smile that matches yours on his face.

you nod, “yeah, i’d like that.” with that, jungkook takes a step back, widening the space between you both as his right hand goes to hold the strap of his bag.

“okay, i’ll text you the details.” before he turns around, turning the knob of your front door and letting himself out. before the door closes, he sends you a wave, one which you reflect as he pulls the door closed. you move up and lock the door, your forehead resting against the cold metal slab.

you wonder if this crush will ever advance into something more. neither of you really push the agenda, most of the time just cutely flirting with each other and only talking to each other during class. maybe this party will be a chance to further the bond the two of you have. you could only wish that you could drop this nervous shield that pops up everytime you’re around him, but jungkook is just so cool. the campus heartthrob, everyone wants to be him or be with him.

for the rest of the day, jungkook seems to occupy your mind, as he always does. when you get to sleep, the fantasies of jungkook’s lips on yours drift you into a deep sleep, one that eventually leads to a dream that has you rubbing your thighs together. his hands were all over your body, his cologne that you were so familiar with tormenting your nose, it all felt too real. so when you woke up to the sound of your alarm, sweat beaded at your hairline. you took deep breaths, cementing the fact that he isn’t here, and he certainly isn’t doing those things with you right now.

it was not helping that you dreamt of him sexually on the day of your quiz, the one that you were immensely stressing over. now, you’re gonna have to walk into class, act normal around jungkook even though your brain produced pornographic images of him, (it’s not the first time, but it’s the first time you’ve had to face him right after it happened) and ace this quiz.

you tried almost everything you could to have cleared your brain of your dream sequence. taking a shower, eating breakfast, studying once more, etc. but when you’re walking into the lecture hall, flashes of the dream and the sound of his imagined moan echo in your mind.

you walk up the stairs with your eyes down, not sure if you could make eye contact with jungkook without turning red. “hey, ___, good morning!” the familiar voice greets you.

“morning,” you reply, dryly. taking the seat next to him and silently taking your laptop out, waiting for the professor to start the quiz. jungkook seemed a bit taken aback by your cold answer, but he took into account that you’re probably just super nervous and stressed out because of the quiz, so he doesn’t take it too personally. instead, just sitting back in his chair and waiting patiently to take the quiz as well.

at this point, you were psyching yourself out, swearing that you already forgot all of the terms. if you were quizzed on the parts of male anatomy, specifically jungkook’s, then maybe you could ace it, but the terms that you were working oh so hard to memorize yesterday slip from your mind. when the professor tells you to separate and start the quiz, you start to bite your thumb nail again.

jungkook takes a look over at you, noticing the bad habit of yours. he gently takes a hold of your arm, pulling your thumb away from your teeth. the action causing you to make eye contact with him and his big doe eyes that hold so much love and light. you find yourself a bit speechless then, too many thoughts running around in your mind.

he whispers, “you’ll do great, okay?” the statement soothing your nerves. his voice somehow makes your body relax, even though you thought you would freak out if you made any sort of contact with him.

“you— you too, good luck,” you mutter. a half smile on your face. you were grateful that jungkook broke you out of your trance, his words of encouragement suddenly placing you in the testing state of mind. the images from last night's dream seem to put themselves away for now.

the next twenty minutes are complete silence. everyone focused on the questions before them. of course, you zoomed through the quiz, prepared for the trick questions and the harder ones that come up. jungkook finishes after you. it wasn’t a surprise, jungkook didn’t even have to try, you swear you’ve never seen him stress out before. nobody was perfect, you believed that, but jeon jungkook was the closest to it.

“okay, class! the quiz will be graded by tonight hopefully, you’re free to leave,” your professor alerts the class. jungkook waits patiently until you’re standing, following you down the stairs and out the door.

you decide to speak first, since you greeted him with such a dry response this morning. it wasn’t his fault that you dreamed of him on top of you, so why were you punishing him for it? “how’d you think you did?” you asked, turning to look at him.

he shrugs, “good i guess, i think i fucked up on one or two questions.”

“was it the striation part? i think i messed up on that one too.”

he shakes his head, “you know you aced that, don’t lie.”

you stay silent, the two of you walking to the campus parking lot. neither of you engage in conversation as you usually do. the images of last night’s dream slipping into your consciousness once again. you try to shake your head, to rid yourself of the thoughts. nothing else to distract you from them because jungkook was oddly silent the entire walk. you fear that he can actually read your mind and see all of your thoughts. if he could, he doesn’t mention it. not saying one word to you until he walks you to your car, greeting you with a ‘see you next class!’ before leaving to go to his car. not even mentioning the party to you, you start to wonder if he regrets inviting you. up until you heard your phone ring when you parked in the lot of your apartment complex.

[10:24 am] jungkook: hey! forgot to remind u about the party 😫

[10:24 am] jungkook: ur still down to come, right?

[10:28 am] you: hi! yeah :)

[10:28 am] you: is there a dress code or smth? haha

[10:29 am] jungkook: not that i know of 😂

[10:30 am] jungkook: u can wear anything u want

[10:30 am] jungkook: ur cute whatever u wear

[10:31 am] you: oh stop it jeon ur making me blush

[10:32 am] you: but tell me :( should i wear something casual? pants? a dress?

[10:34 am] jungkook: 😂

[10:34 am] jungkook: it’s kind of like a frat party…

[10:35 am] jungkook: so anything is okay

[10:37 am] you: ah okay

[10:37 am] you: i’ll surprise u then ;)

[10:40 am] jungkook: alright :)

[10:41 am] jungkook: i’ll come by around 9 to pick u up? sound good?

[10:42 am] you: yeah! gives me enough time to nap and get ready lol

[10:44 am] jungkook: great :) see u then cutie

you wake up from your nap around one, you had more than enough time for you to get ready for a party. so you decide to clean your apartment first, little chores to waste time before you get yourself dolled up. when you finished, it was around seven thirty. you washed your face, brushed your teeth, all that good stuff before sliding on a simple black bodycon that you got last summer. styling your hair and spraying on your favorite perfume before looking at yourself in the mirror. this wasn’t too much, right? lots of people wear stuff like this to frat parties, so you didn’t find it too fancy. the notification sound from your phone goes off, you move to check and see if it was who you were expecting.

[8:54 pm] jungkook: i’m here :)

[8:54 pm] you: ahh gimme a sec i need to pee haha

[8:55 pm] jungkook: take ur time cutie

[8:56 pm] jungkook: i’m right in front

jungkook only really had to wait about five minutes. the visual of you walking out of your apartment doors, looking the way you did, was breathtaking. his jaw drops, mouth slightly agape as he watches you walk up to his car through the passenger window. you are so gorgeous. it’s probably the first time jungkook’s seen you in clothes that really compliment your figure, most of the time you show up to class in hoodies and sweaters. so greedily, he takes in the way the dress hugs your curves deliciously. he shakes the thoughts from his head to get out of the car and open the door for you.

“what a gentleman,” you tease, getting into the car.

he joins you soon after, “you look...gorgeous.” jungkook doesn’t seem so shy now, his eyes taking in your beautiful self.

“thank you,” you blush under his stare. “is it too much?”

“no! no— not at all, all eyes will be on you tonight.” he smiles, turning the car on. now you were able to gawk over him. a simple outfit, all black with a black and white camo bomber. his side profile is perfect, his long hair draping over his face so gracefully and his piercings somehow sparkling in the dark of the car.

he doesn’t drive too far, somewhere in the suburbs where the big houses are. a huge iron gate in the front, seemingly too fancy for a frat party setting. jungkook rolls his window down to greet someone waiting in front of the gate with a couple of other guys.

“jeon! you’re late dude,” one of the guys gives him a handshake through the window.

“sorry man, i’m here now though,” jungkook laughs. the guy giving him the greenlight and opening the gate for him, jungkook parks inside on their stone driveway, decorated with a fountain and a beautiful garden.

“your friend lives here?” you inquire, impressed by the look of the place.

he nods, “fancy right? his parents are ceo’s.” makes sense, and it would also make sense as to why they were throwing a frat party here, rich sons always seem to stir up trouble whenever they’re bored.

he steps out of the car to open the door for you, always a gentleman. he takes your hand and helps you out, the two of you walking to the huge open double doors. as soon as you walk in, the smell of alcohol hits your nose, you try your best not to cringe. the blare of the speakers is the second thing you notice, along with the shouting of jungkook’s friends greeting him. “who’s this?” one of them asks, referring to you.

jungkook seems to hesitate at first, not really knowing how to introduce you. he settles by saying, “this is ___!” not attaching any ‘friend’, ‘classmate’, or anything to the introduction. his friend holds his hand out to shake yours.

you take it with a smile on your face, “i’m yugyeom, it’s nice to meet you!” a smile that reflects yours is on his face, it made you feel welcome. you were never really the type to go to parties, your time is spent working and/or going to school, but this interaction helps you ease up a little more.

“hello, yugyeom!” you reply, shouting over the music.

“do you wanna take a shot?” he asks. pointing to the enormous kitchen where they’re housing all the alcohol, you look to jungkook first who’s paying more attention to his phone rather than the conversation you were just having.

you shrug, “why not?”

yugyeom leads the two of you to the kitchen, jungkook following behind you blindly. he looks up from his phone, done with whatever business he was dealing with to ask, “where are we going?”

“taking a shot,” you answer, pointing to yugyeom who’s already pouring three shots.

“dude, i’m not drinking, don’t pour three.” jungkook tries to stop him before he fills up the third shot glass but his arm knocks yugyeom’s in the process, the bottle spilling the clear liquid into the third shot glass.

“i’ll take two,” you suggest, feeling a bit wild and down to venture out of your comfort zone.

yugyeom smiles at this, “i like her, jeon.” he hands you the two shot glasses full of vodka, jungkook stands next to you and watches as you down the first shot. your face cringing as soon as the alcohol touches your tongue.

“you didn’t even give her a chaser,” jungkook notices, scolding yugyeom who's already downed his shot and is sucking on a lime. “here, suck,” holding a slice of lime up to your lips. his choice of words disorienting you, especially since he was holding the lime up to your mouth instead of just handing it to you. your eyes flicker between the lime and his face, but nevertheless, you suck. sinking your teeth into the sour fruit. jungkook’s eyes zeroed in on how your lips wrap around the slice, slightly grazing his fingers. it’s not long before you’re making a cute scrunched up face from the sourness. “good,” he praises. you don’t deny the slight burn your lower belly felt when he said that to you. you swear he was making sex eyes to you, but you couldn’t tell. he broke eye contact with you soon after, throwing the fruit into the trash below the table that the alcohol was perched on.

yugyeom hands you another lime for your second shot, this time no jungkook to hold the fruit for you. the second shot burning down your throat with the lime chasing after, both yugyeom and jungkook cheer, congratulating you for being a trooper (even though two shots were their warmups).

the next hour or so, jungkook brings you around. he introduces you to his friends and making conversation with them. one certain group, you didn’t really enjoy. a group of five girls, clearly swarming jungkook as soon as he turned around from talking to another one of his friends. the girls ask how he’s been doing, all of the basic conversation starters. when jungkook tries to introduce you, they all turn to you and give you a little head nod before turning their attention back to jungkook. he stands there, conversing with them longer than he had with any of his other friends, and you found yourself getting, hm, jealous.

so you search around the room crowded room, looking for some way out. your eyes spot yugyeom in the backyard through the huge sliding doors, sitting on one of those lawn chairs with the one next to him empty. you decide to leave the group you were currently getting pushed out of and join yugyeom. he notices you when you step onto the grass, trying your best not to sink into the dirt with your heels. “you doing alright? where’s jungkookie?” he asks, sitting up.

you plop down onto the lawn chair next to him. “he’s in there,” you point to the house, “with five girls.”

the last bit of the sentence makes him laugh, a cackle where he holds his stomach because he was laughing so hard. “do you want a shot?” he offers after he recovers from his fit, pulling a tequila bottle out from nowhere.

but you agree, “two, please.” he fills the two shot glasses, but not completely like he did with the vodka earlier. there were no limes, or any type of chaser for you to take around, so you take the two shots like ripping off a band-aid, quick.

“you’re a funny girl,” yugyeom compliments when you’ve downed the shots.

“thanks?” you cough, the feeling of the alcohol still burning your nose and throat, “what did i say that was funny?”

“i think it’s because i’m tipsy, but that joke you made about jungkook being with five girls was hilarious.” he slaps his knee, almost making himself laugh up a storm again, but you weren’t laughing.

you raised an eyebrow, speaking with a serious tone. “it wasn’t a joke, he’s in there with five girls.”

yugyeom tries to collect himself, sitting properly on the lawn chair when he asks you to clarify, “you mean he’s fucking them? or he’s talking to them?”

you’re silent for a second before replying, why did you say it like he was in there fucking them? maybe it’s because he might as well be, so engrossed in whatever the hell they were saying to even notice that you were gone. “just talking to them,” you reply.

“that’s what i thought, jungkook isn’t like that anymore,” yugyeom nods his head, pouring another shot out for you.

“anymore?” you ask. he hands you the shot, you hesitate this time, starting to feel the effects of the first four shots you took. he doesn’t push you to take it. he just leans back onto the lawn chair as he sighs.

“you could say he’s retired,” he shrugs.

the term makes you laugh, “...a retired fuckboy?” you sit back into the lawn chair as well, looking up to the night sky. the shot glass forgotten on the table next to you. your body feels like it’s floating.

“yeah, he hasn’t really been doing stuff like that recently,” yugyeom spills. you stay quiet after he feeds you this information. yugyeom offhandedly telling you that you shouldn’t be jealous makes you feel guilty. why were you even jealous? jungkook was technically still just a friend to you. just because the two of you flirt every now and then doesn’t mean you’re together. of course he would be surrounded by girls, just look at him!

“there you are! i was looking all over for you,” jungkook interrupts your inner monologue. his voice comes from across the lawn, you look up to see him walking over to you and yugyeom.

“hi, jungkookie,” you smile up at him. the alcohol having more of an effect on you the longer you let it sit in your stomach.

he almost freezes up at the nickname, looking over to yugyeom and asking, “did you tell her to call me that?”

yugyeom holds his hands up in innocence, “i didn’t tell her to do anything, she’s like five or six shots deep though.”

you take the shot that was forgotten on the table and down it. “six,” you clarify.

“alright, slow down, iron liver,” jungkook jokes. yugyeom stands from the lawn chair, receiving jungkook’s telepathic signals to get the fuck up to he could talk and hang out with you.

“play beer pong with me later, ___! i’m gonna go look for eunwoo,” yugyeom points to you, giving you a thumbs up before leaving the backyard and moving into the house.

“feeling okay? think you might throw up soon?” jungkook asks, replacing yugyeom in the chair next to you.

“feel like i’m surfing, you know? like wavy,” you answer. the feeling was hard to explain, you weren’t dizzy but at the same time your brain was telling you to stop moving, even though you were completely still.

“ah, you’re getting there,” jungkook snorts. you didn’t have much willpower to answer, so the two of you sit there in a comfortable silence before a group of people coming towards, all greeting jungkook and you. they offer you a red cup, despite your current predicament. leaning against the chair and your droopy eyes, telling them that you’ve taken too many shots. a lightweight at her peak.

jungkook tries to deny it for you, but with a smile, you accept the cup. it was filled with the fancy mixed alcohol juice they had. “thank you,” you place the cup onto the table, “i’ll drink it.... later..” your words begin to draw themselves out. jungkook somehow finding a way to make the entire group leave, making it just the two of you again.

“give it to me, you’re starting to slur your words.” his hand is open, laying on the table and waiting for you to surrender the cup.

your eyes flicker from the red cup, to his face, then to his hand. a smirk on your face when you hold the cup up to your lips, tilting it back and drinking the cursed juice. you weren’t able to down it all, it was too much, you drank maybe ⅔ of it. you cough, taking in a deep breath as you try to steady yourself.

you weren’t sure if it was because you were drunk, but the way that his face looks in the moonlight was so pretty. so you just had to tell him. leaning forward, you speak, almost a whisper, “you’re so handsome.” you drag your finger across the expanse of jungkook’s hand. “did you know i have no gag reflex?” you smile, not your typical sweet smile that he’s used to, but a devilish grin.

jungkook’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing immediately at your remark. “alright, you drank way too much.” he takes the red cup from your hands, dumping it out onto the grass in front of you both.

“hey, i wasn’t done,” you pout, but jungkook didn’t give you much time to mourn your spilled drink before he was holding your arm, lifting you from the lawn chair you were sitting on. “where are we going?” you ask, trailing behind him with your hand in his.

“gonna get you some water and something to eat,” he answers. the two of you move through the house, jungkook pushes through groups of people and makes sure you’re safe behind him.

“i have to pee.” you tip toe to tell him your emergency in his ear. he stops at the stairs, knowing a bathroom where no one else goes. his friend specifically telling him to use that bathroom when they have parties because the other ones get way too gross.

he brings you up the stairs to the guest bedroom, opening the door to reveal one of the biggest rooms you’ve seen. “the bathroom is there,” jungkook points to the door on the left. you nod, your wobbly legs making their way to the toilet.

jungkook sits on the bed patiently, waiting for you to finish. he hears the flush and the sound of the sink running, the door opens and you’re coming out of the bathroom, pulling your dress down. “are we gonna have sex?” you utter, slurring the end of your sentence. your alcohol poisoned mind taking over your ability to speak.

his eyes widen at the question. “no! no— oh my god, this is just the room with the cleanest bathroom, we’re not—“

you’re next to him now, “you don’t want to?” you pout. glassy eyes looking into his.

“no! i mean, yes, i want to but— fuck, just— just not now, yeah?” jungkook stumbles over his words, his face blushing a blood red. your pretty face peering up at him makes him even more flustered, his hands start to sweat.

“okay,” you nodded. your drunken brain deciding to stop the interrogation of jungkook’s desire for you. to which jungkook lets out a sigh of relief, taking your hand and bringing you out of the room, down the stairs, and out into the driveway. he brings you to his car, opening the passenger door for you. “wait, are we leaving already? yugyeomie wants me to play beer pong with him,” you complain, wiggling your hand from his grasp.

goosebumps appear on your arm when you make it outside of the house. jungkook notices when he turns around to look at you. without a second thought, he takes his jacket off and places it over your shoulders. the newfound warmth shielding you from the cold night. he didn’t mind the breeze, especially since he was still recovering from the stunt you pulled in the guest room.

“we can come back later if you want, let’s just go grab something to eat first so you won’t regret this tomorrow morning.” his explanation is pretty solid according to your drunken brain, so you oblige, moving to sit in his passenger seat.

he joins you in the driver’s seat not long after. “can we get mcdonald’s?” you ask as soon as he sits down.

a smile appears on his face as he starts the car, “sure.”

the drive made you feel a little dizzy, it makes you laugh. “you okay?” jungkook asks, but you nod your head. he’s so sweet, always asking if you’re okay, making sure you weren’t feeling too awful, etc. it only makes sense that you were falling head over heels for him.

“totally fine,” you look over to him with a smile on your face. he’s so fucking pretty, his side profile is something you could rave about for days. as he’s pulling into the mcdonald’s drive through, he’s talking into the intercom, ordering the two of you something to eat when you’re suddenly mumbling, “mcflurry, kookie, oreo mcflurry.”

he looks back to you, an amused smile on his face, “oreo mcflurry?” he repeats. you nod, “okay, anything for you.”

he reiterates the request into the intercom and the server gives him the greenlight. he drives forward and waits until the next car moves up, in the time being, he looks to you. your head laying up against the door and your eyes slowly blinking, warning him that you might fall asleep. so he reaches into his backseat, his arm looking for the water bottles that he usually keeps in his car.

“hey,” he taps your arm gently, “drink some of this first.” he hands you the water bottle, you blink slowly, trying to figure out what he was handing you. once you realize it was a water bottle, you take it, opening it and gulping some of the water down. jungkook is grabbing the food when you’re screwing the cap back on. he parks somewhere in the parking lot and tells you to start eating.

you grab your mcflurry first, the feeling of the cold ice cream on your tongue soothing your dizzy brain. “yum,” you think out loud.

jungkook laughs, taking out his hamburger while he takes out your chicken nuggets. “make sure to eat some of this, yeah? don’t want you throwing up and hating me.”

the thought makes you smile. jungkook was taking such great care of you. sure, he let you down the alcohol like it was nothing, but you never opposed to it, always taking the shot because you wanted to. now jungkook is here, taking care of you, because he wanted to. you knew that if it were anybody else, they probably would have left you at the party, letting you fend for yourself. the sudden warmth in your chest makes you want to tell jungkook everything.

with his jacket wrapped around you instead of him, you can see the bulge of his arm muscles peek out from the short sleeved shirt he was wearing. even drunk, your brain seems to travel back to the images from your dream. “you know, i had a dream about you, a reeaaaallllllyyyyy dirty dream, jeon jungkook.” you blurt out the confession before your thoughts catch up with you, the alcohol still very much blocking off the common sense part of your brain.

he tries his best not to overreact, but you had a dream about him? a dirty dream at that? it awakens something in jungkook, but he pushes it down, ignoring the feeling as he asks, “you did? what was it about?” he curious as to what you meant and what your dream entailed, but he didn’t want to push too far. especially since you were drunk and most likely just spilling everything because your brain doesn’t have the willpower to hold it back.

you stick your hand into the bag to steal some fries, stuffing them in your mouth. “oh, you don’t wanna know,” you chew.

jungkook quirks a brow, “well, was i good at least?” he jokes.

you scrunch your nose, nodding nevertheless. “too good, couldn’t even focus during the quiz because of it.”

jungkook is silent for a second. the conversation making him hot even though he wasn’t wearing his jacket anymore. so he clears his throat, trying to change the subject in a subtle manner. “is that why you were so mean to me this morning?” he pouts, connecting the dots.

you laugh at the question, “sorry, i didn’t mean to, i swear.”

with that, the rest of the time is spent eating. jungkook makes sure that you ate enough and drank enough water, the empty water bottle in his cupholder as proof. “do you want me to take you home now?” he asks, the two of you finished eating and now a silence takes over the car.

“are you going back?” you ask, fiddling with your fingers. he thinks you’ve started to sober up, or maybe have gotten to the point where you just want to sleep.

he shakes his head to your question, “honestly, i’m kind of tired, but if you want to go back, we can go.”

“no, i’m okay,” you decline the offer. jungkook laughs, starting the car again and driving back to your apartment complex.

you take this time to try to get yourself together. you know you’ll regret confessing to jungkook that you had a wet dream about him in the morning. but in the moment, it felt right to confess, (to your drunken brain of course). you tilt your head back, pushing your head against the headrest, and suddenly, you’re reminded of the stars jungkook has on his ceiling. you were silent as you admired the lights, jungkook takes a look at you when he’s stopped at a red light.

so cute, he thinks, staring up at his ceiling like it’s the real night sky. when he pulls up to your apartment complex, he wishes the night could be longer, that he could spend more time with you. he parks the car in the front, exactly where he picked you up. you’re looking to him now, your hands in your lap and your heart seemingly beating three times as fast as it usually does. it wasn’t the alcohol.

“did you have fun tonight?” he asks. his voice never fails to make you melt.

you nod, “i did.”

“i’m glad,” he smiles. there’s a small silence before he speaks once more, “also, y’know, you don’t have to stress yourself out so much, i know you might have expectations for yourself and stuff, but you should give yourself a break from time to time.”

the alcohol’s effects fading slowly from your brain when you start to realize that the entire reason jungkook invited you out was to help you destress. it makes you fall even harder, he was so thoughtful. even though a party wasn’t your scene, he invited you to give you a glimpse into how he has fun and hoped that it would help you loosen up a bit. you were grateful for the mental break he provided you.

you didn’t reply, purely because you were thinking about how much you want to kiss him right now, but it wouldn’t be right. when he speaks up again, there’s a nervous lilt in his voice, scared that he’s overstepped. “if you need anyone to help you— i don’t know, let loose? you can— you can always call me.” he scratches the back of his neck.

but you try your best to reassure him, smiling at the offer. “i will, thank you for tonight, jungkook, i really enjoyed it, despite being a lightweight.”

he laughs, staring at the way your face cutely scrunches when you giggle. he too, is fighting the urge to kiss you, because right now isn’t a good time. he wants to do it right. he doesn’t want to fuck it up with you. so instead, he hops out of the car and moves to open the door for you. helping you out of the car and walking you to your door, your hand in his.

“i’ll see you in class?” you turn to face him, squeezing his hand.

he nods, “yeah.” his signature bunny smile coming out to greet you a goodnight. “text me before you sleep?” he requests. you give him a thumbs up before he’s letting go of your hand and you’re sticking the key into your door, it’s then that you realize that you’re still wearing his jacket.

“oh!” you exclaim, taking the jacket off and handing it to him. but he holds his hand out to stop you.

“keep it, you can give it to me the next time we hang out, or something,” he suggests. you try to hide the growing smile behind a nod.

you hold onto his jacket, “goodnight, jungkook.”

he sticks his hands in his pockets, sending you another grin, “goodnight, ___.”

jungkook drives home, his empty apartment welcoming him. he plops down onto his bed, not even bothering to change out of the clothes he was in because he was that tired. the events of today running through his mind.

he hopes you don’t think he was doing anything with those five girls. he saw you walk away when you did, he tried his best to escape the conversation, but they kept pulling him back. he gave up after ten tries of trying to get away, standing there for a good fifteen minutes listening to them babble about how much they missed him. jungkook had never rolled his eyes so many times in a conversation.

the talk the two of you had after was another thing taking over his mind. your dirty flirting and your dream you mentioned in the car had his imagination running all over the place. he didn’t want to push you when you explained, but he was very curious as to what he did in your dream, and how good it was for you to have it run through your mind all day.

his phone rings next to him. he turns and opens it, a smile on his face when he reads your message.

[12:32 am] you: hi jungkookieeeeeeeee

[12:33 am] you: im sleeping noww

[12:33 am] jungkook: alright cutie

[12:33 am] jungkook: goodnight! again 😂

[12:34 am] you: goodnight <3

he turns his phone off after that. looking up to his ceiling with a dumb smile on his face. his mind thinking of you and only you.

[gyllenhaalstories]

CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS — SUGAR DADDY!ZEMO

summary: a series of unfortunate (or fortunate, depending whose side you’re on) events brought you to mandripoor seven years ago. it was fun, dangerous and exciting for the most part. a lot has changed, but you are back in high town in the hope of purchasing a rare monet painting, and reuniting with an old flame.

warnings: tfatws spoilers, alcohol, established sugar daddy x sugar baby relationship, smut (daddy kink, dom/sub/switch dynamics, choking, hair pulling, blowjob, fingering, both degradation and praise kinks, spit kink, cum play, marking, unprotected sex). 18+ MINORS DON’T INTERACT.

word count: 2685

gif credit: pedropcl

notes: this (very long) fic is brought to you by zemo’s #1 hoe. for the sake of the fic, zemo’s daughter and wife have never existed. i get it zemo is the bad guy daniel is not your typical hottie but let me live my fantasy and reclaim my crown as the original zemo fan. listen to off to the races by lana del rey and let no man steal your thyme by the pentangle if you want to fibe with me! i hope you guys will enjoy it!!! <3

“If you keep staring at me like this, I’ll mistake you for the Mona Lisa.” You took the last sip from your glass, which was immediately filled by the man standing behind you. You had felt his familiar presence a long time ago, but you were too mesmerized by the rare painting trapped in a cage of glass to bother notifying him. “Your glance has followed me around the room. In other circumstances, I’d find it creepy. Now, it’s just very flattering.”

You heard him laugh through his nose. You saw his reflecting in the glass, lit up by flashing blue and pink lights and vibrating ever so slightly to the sound of the loud music.

“You’re like a Monet painting. From afar, you are clear as cristal and easy to read like an open book. From up close...” You marked a pause and stoodby straight. Your eyes never leaving the work of art you had been scrutinizing for the past hour. Water Lilies in Bloom, it was called, an incorrect translation that always brought a grin to your lips. “You are a mystery.” You swallowed thickly the bubbly liquid, recognizing the peculiar taste of champagne.

“It is arrogant but right to think of myself as the pure definition of mysterious.”

You chuckled, throwing your head back in disbelief. Some things never changed.

“After all these years... I managed to find my way back to you. Now that’s a mystery.”

You turned on your heels as you spoke. “Is it, though? Tell me, Daddy. Is it really that hard to believe you’d recognize your property even after all these years. I heard they put you in a pretty little cage. Didn’t have much else to think about than what you missed most?”

He took you in, just how ethereal you looked under the colourful neon lights. You had your arms pressed against your chest, the shiny material of your matching bracelet and necklace twinkled. He squinted slightly, his lips curled into a smirk while he looked down your body, the one thing that kept him sane after all these years in jail (that and the thought of destroying symbols like super soldiers and make the world a better place once and for all). “Nice dress.”

��My Sugar Daddy got it for me.” You did a twirl, showing off your outfit innocently. “You like it?”

He reached up to his neck and pulled on the collar of his purple sweater, like it was a tie he could loosen up. “So you received everything I sent you.”

You clicked your tongue. “Not everything...” Your head turned to look behind you, where your most priced possession was glowing in its full glory — soon to-be yours, you should say.

“Use your words, Princess. Say it and it’s yours.”

It was your turn to analyze him, to take every ounce of cockiness and pride. “You’re playing with fire.” You walked closer to him, erasing the distance but increasing the tension between the two of you. “All the money in the world won’t get you everything you want.”

He was quick to move, his soldiers instincts never left his body, clearly. His delicate hand wrapped around your throat so effortlessly. It tightened, forcing you to manage your breathing. “Money got me everything I wanted already.”

“What is it, Daddy? What is it that you want so badly?” You clenched your jaw, holding his glance which was filled with lust, instead of rage and grudges.

“You never looked so beautiful.” He leaned closer too, whispering the words to your ear. It was liked the loud club music turned into white noise. He could not care less about the stares and the words strangers exchanged as they witnessed the scene. High Town was not his playground.

But you were his plaything.

*~*~*

History repeated itself, in one way or another. Icons rose and fell. Symbols mattered and vanished into oblivion. Originality turned into plagiarism. Winners would lose it all, losers would dig their graves deeper into the abyss.

History repeated itself. The sight before your eyes was the same one as seven years ago, when all that was on this man’s life before meeting you was this stupid Mission Report of December 16 1991. You met him at a party like this, in High Town before he was banned from the land. He caught your attention doing his ridiculous dance moves, sharing his knowledge about the art pieces showcased around the room. Then he brought you to a hotel, the ones so fancy they had multiple rooms and a vintage record player as part of the decor. Only, it worked, and he put on his favourite Édith Piaf records. Rien de Rien, Le Petit Homme, La Vie en Rose, song after song, you were diving deeper in your memories.. He was popping yet another bottle of champagne open and pouring some in flutes you would never touch for the rest of the night. The same night, seven years ago, it changed your life. At the second you regretted setting foot in Mandripoor, he changed your mind and gave you the best months of your life. You would ride around Europe in vintage cars, dine in gigantic mansions you called castles. You admired the old paintings of his royal family members while he brought you a silk bathrobe to change into after a steamy shower.

You’d get lost in your thoughts, he’d get lost in his ambitions. You two were one and the same, in one way or another. That affirmation sent shivers down your spine. You could not tell if it was a good or a bad thing, a shy voice in your head was reassuring you it was the former.

“They call me Baron again, I guess I’m not doing too bad after all.” His voice snapped you back to reality. He was still wearing that obnoxious trench coat. You hated it, it made him look like a pimp. Although that was not too far from the truth, as the mountain of luxurious jewelry and clothes in your closet proved.

“Do you like being back here?”

“I love it here.” The emphasis on the last word was audible. You nodded in agreement. This place was heaven on Earth for some people, hell for others. For both you and Zemo, it was somewhere in between.

“You’re certainly not here for me.” You laughed, setting the still full glass on the nightstand.

He shook his head, mouthing a negative response.

“What is it, this time? Mission report February 32?”

“Something like that.” He answered, after another silent laugh.

“If only you had made me your mission, your life would have been easier.”

“Yours would have been, too.”

You shrugged. You agreed, but you did not need to say it. He knew. The two of you knew that this warmth washing over your bodies was the answer to all of your problems. Yet, you were fighting the urge to surrender and give in.

History always repeated itself.

All it took was for him to set his hand on your exposed knee. You got flashbacks of the numerous times his hand rested there while you two drove deeper in the country side, in some old Chevrolet, Ford, or any other European brands he could find and buy.

“Say it, Princess. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”

You swallowed thickly and fell on your knees. He sat straight, as straight as he could on the comfortable mattress, and spread his legs wider. “I want to go back in time.”

He leaned foward and you opened your mouth, your tongue poking out. He spit in your mouth, and you swallowed. The giggle that followed your actions sent blood to his hardening cock. “Just as eager as I remembered, right? You’d do anything to please me.”

“I’d do anything for you, Daddy.” You repeated, the confession left you breathless.

“That’s my good girl.” He brushed your hair with so much tenderness for a moment, you let out a content moan. He changed the mood real quick when he pushed your head closer to his crotch and unbuckled his belt at lightning’s speed.

Your mouth was watering at the sight, a sight that was tattooed in your memory forever. Whatever relationship you two had went beyond fancy presents and sex, it was a connection that tickled your souls and left you a different woman than when it first started. You wasted no time, stroking him a few times as you spit on his blushing tip. You smeared the spit over his sensitive spot and pulled the sweetest moans out of him, which grew louder and more intense when you finally wrapped your lips around his head.

No one compared to you, to your attention to details, to the way you were taking him all in, inches by inches like you were made for his cock and his cock only. No one compared to how blissful you looked pulling back, choking on your own saliva and the lack of oxygen. “You look so beautiful, Babygirl.”

His praise made you bat your eyes, hoping to receive more compliments. You flattened your tongue, licking him from the base to the top before you deep throated his cock again. You never left him untouched, your hands were massaging his walls or exploring his thick thighs while your mouth almost brought him to the edge.

That was when he pulled on your hair and demanded you went back up on your feet. “I bet you’re soaked. All you need is to see a cock to wet your panties.” You nodded as one hand reached up to cup your face, the other to cup your core from under your dress. He could felt the ever growing wet patch. He discarded of your panties in one effortless pull and pressed his pointer and middle fingers against your sensitive clit. He circled it, studying your reaction.

“Daddy...” You breathed out. “I need you.”

“I’m proud of you for using your words,” his finger slipped inside of your entrance, you moaned out his name. “So greedy and needy and easy for me, like the good whore that you are. Is that right? You’re Daddy’s perfect little whore?”

He was two fingers in, all the way to the last knuckles. He pumped in and out of you slowly yet roughly. You smirked when he finally touched that spongy spot inside of you. “I’m Daddy’s. I’ll always belong to Daddy.”

“That’s right.”

He brushed his thumb over your clit, his fingers stopped fucking your hole to abuse the bundle of nerves until tears started to pool in your eyes.

“Be a good baby.” You looked at him with doe eyes, sucking his thumb between your plump lips. “Do what I want.”

And you reached your high. You had nothing to hold you up, except for your shaky legs that threatened to give in under your weight and the intensity of your orgasm. You sucked on his thumb harder, hoping to quiet some of your moans but your screams escaped your parted lips.

In a blink of an eye, you were pushed against the bed and bounced against the body that blocked your every movement. His pants were nowhere to be found, just like the rest of your respective clothes. Your finger tips brushed over the skin of his shaven cheeks, down to his neck and chest. The intimacy, you had craved it all these years.

“I bet that sweet cunt of yours missed my cock.” He spoke, chuckling mockingly when he pushed himself in your stretched hole. You both let out a long moan of satisfaction. He rested inside of you, adjusting to your warmth and tightness. “I was right.”

“You’re always right.” You flattered his ego, and earned a sloppy kiss in return.

His lips moved down to your neck where he sucked hickeys and left small bite marks as he picked up the pace of his hips.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, hoping to bring him that much closer, and deeper, into you.

Zemo pinned your wrists above your head and pumped his cock inside of your tight pussy like his life depended on it. “So fucking wet for me,  gonna make me cum, Baby.” He had tried so hard to hold back, not to mark you and claim you again.

“Wait for me.” You begged him, and he brought one hand down to your neck again. He squeezed it, choking you deliciously until your eyes rolled inwards. He tightened his grip ever so slightly and he felt it, he felt the way your walls fluttered around him.

He thrusted inside of you, his hips snapped against yours and the sound of your skin slapping echoed in the bedroom. “Cum for me, Princess. Cum with Daddy.”

And you did, your body exploded in fireworks when you felt his release planted inside of you. He kept moving, rocking back and forth. He leaned back, leaving your neck to rub your clit once again. He was a moaning mess, the overstimulation made it almost painful to keep going but he did not want it to stop, not until...

“Fuck, Daddy!” And a second wave of pleasure hit you hard, it left you panting and shaking even more than before.

Zemo had to pull away quickly, and already missed the feeling of being inside of you.

Your fingers reached between your bodies, dipping into your folds and moving up to your lips as they were covered in his seed. You painted your lips with his white cum, before you licked them and your fingers clean as he watched, completely amazed and mesmerized. “Taste just as good as I remembered.”

He laughed, he was always one step ahead of everything and everyone, but you always managed to take him by surprise. You were just that great, that perfect. He rolled to the side and fell heavily on the bed. His skin was glistening under the light of the chandeliers from the thin layer of sweat.

You pressed your legs together, clenching around nothing. You hoped you could keep his load inside of you, as a proof this had really happened and it was not just one of your daydreams where you two would be reunited.

“I missed this.” You boke the silence with a small voice. Your fingers brushed over the bruises on your neck, and you hissed at the sensitive skin.

He turned on his side, worried for a second that he went too hard on you. The smile and joy on your face proved him otherwise. “I missed you, Princess.”

“I missed you so much, Daddy.”

*~*~*

The sun hurt your eyes, he noticed. He slipped out of the bed to pull on the curtains only to hurry back to you so you could lay your head on his chest. You were still wearing your bracelet, he started playing with it.

His mind was racing, just like his heart. You could feel it rumble in his chest like a loud engine. Something was bothering him.

“Oh, Zemo...” You caressed his cheek, looking up to study his features. “You can fool the smartest people in the world, but you’ll never be able to lie to me.”

“I’m coming home, Baby. I’m coming home now.”

You looked down again, taking a moment to answer. “Let me guess, you’ll take me to a fancy house like Rebecca’s Manderley and Jane Eyre’s manor at the Rochester’s. You’ll show me around, make me feel like I belong. And you’ll leave, high and dry. Again. All the money and presents from your people won’t erase the pain I felt. Not this time, not ever.”

He pressed his thin lips together. Pain, suffering, he was used to it. He had his fair share of it, caused even more to other people. The thought of hurting you, however, was unbearable.

“Every kingdom needs its king...” He paused and moved you, so you were resting on your elbows and your face was closer to his. “And an even greater queen.”

[jungxk]

just one (viii)

summary: the only guy on campus who’s track record trumped that of your best friend’s - park jimin - was jeon jungkook. not that that was a problem…until he set his sights on you.

notes: first of all i wanna thank the people who supported me and encouraged me through one of the worst writers blocks of my life. all the messages and comments are the reason why i finally managed to post this. special thanks to @whippedforkook for helping me with the monstrous tagging process as well as giving me so much praise. and also @lonelyending for cheering me on for a literal YEAR bc thats how long i cried over this fic! this story is so special to me. we’re in the home stretch now x

warnings: mentions of illegal drug use and distribution, swearing, brief smut.

genre: drama, romance, humour, college!au

wordcount: 8k

tagging: @cutechim @benz-biarritz @gyukult @bangulin @eatersanonymous @alyssa1926 @skivv1es @a-sucker-for-them-sappy-shit @moonights @jeymuffins @juuneaux @catsukiii @andreaisaac @whatheydontunderstand @sreveles @noruls619 @henryharios @just-a-fuxked-up-kid @befriendswithj @btsbesharam @poemsandpunani @taelha @misosoup-forthesoul @jikooksmut @heart-eyedmf @the-piano-woman @angrysunshine @chaoticpaperfanhoagie @jsungshine @ci-yen @faby-montana @shinypeanutsportshero @jooniestrivia @alucards-s @cynamyngirl @jiminie-angel @myskoova @jkshoneybuns @smokintae @remmykinsff @majinbuwu @jangx2manboongx2 @potatodogs @seul-queen @alpharyth @blenxxxg @plsky @th-singularity @bapbaptothetop @hermiones-enchantment @stomachfilledwithbutterflies @euphorora @supachloe94 @jiminxjimout @ggukkieland @just-another-fic-recs-blog @jalexad​

part i // part ii // part iii // part iv // part v // part vi // part vii // part viii // part ix // part x

x

4 years ago

x

jimin hated yugyeom.

well, maybe hate was a strong word. he just didn't like talking to him, being around him, hearing his name or interacting with him on any level, social or otherwise. he really tried though, since he was one of jungkook's closest friends and still respectfully referred to him as hyung above all else. and if anything, jimin would always have a soft spot for jungkook, the kid he used to coddle when his own brother wasn't around. but having said that, there wasn't really much basis for not liking yugyeom. it was just a gut feeling jimin couldn't explain, a very subtle callousness about him only jimin could pick up on. for the most part he was just like very other mild mannered boy by day and party animal by night, but jimin still ducks when he sees him enter the library.

"fuck," he hisses under his breath, scooping up his laptop to stride behind a book shelf for good measure. because sometimes, contrary to popular belief, jimin wanted to be alone. he didn't want to make small talk or listen to someone tell him about how well they scored on their last paper or complain about their annoying girlfriend. sometimes jimin wanted to have no thoughts and listen to fleetwood mac as per his human rights. which is why he shoves into the first private study room he sees.

and not an empty one at that. there's a girl inside, sitting cross-legged in her chair at a desk with an array of dried up paint tubes and brushes surrounding open sketchbooks. you don't look annoyed or even that phased, just amused as you give him a once over before going back to painting. "on the run from solji?"

jimin blinks, back still pressed against the door. "huh?" he regards you properly. "i'm sorry, have we met before?"

"not really," you admit with a sheepish smile, which is when jimin suddenly realises that you're...attractive. "solji is in my stats class. you hooked up with her last week at some party and she told me about it."

"oh," jimin takes in your plethora of art supplies. "you don't look like a stem student."

there's a glimmer of something in your eyes, and though you hide it well jimin knows he's struck a nerve. "yeah, i get that a lot."

"it's not solji by the way," jimin clarifies. for some reason. "that i'm hiding from. just a bellend i don't have the energy for right now."

you smile. "it's fine. you don't owe me your life story."

"i do when i'm about to impose on your...study time," jimin peers through the window in the door, wincing when yugyeom enters the hallway. "what would it take for you to let me stay in here for a while?"

you pause for a second. "honestly? just be quiet and leave me alone. is that okay?"

jimin perks up, a weight leaving his chest. "perfect, actually."

x

x

x

[jungkook 11:42pm]: why does it say wings on it

[jungkook 11:42pm] where is it flying

[you: 11:43pm] ffs kook

[you: 11:44pm] im still on the toilet can u just hurry up

[you 11:44pm] grab some tampons too pls

[jungkook 11:46pm] fine what size pussy do u wear

[you 11:46pm] i hate u

[jungkook 11:53pm] ???? ? ? well? ????

[you 11:54pm] REGULAR 

jungkook giggles at his phone, already having left the women's sanitary aisle to grab some chocolate. months later and teasing you was still bundles of fun. he knew for a fact that you were sat there with that angry pout on your face, nose crinkled. he had never bought anything like this before, but jungkook had enough brain cells to know that chocolate was another necessity for that time of the month. after grabbing a large hazelnut bar, he pauses beside the oreos before grabbing a packet of those too. just for good measure. he strides to the self checkout - because even he wasn't man enough for the cashier yet - nearly dropping his array of sanitary products and confectionary when somebody calls out his name from behind the queue.

"kook!" the voice is unmistakably yugyeom's, confirmed by the hand that clamps jungkook over the shoulder and swivels him round before he could think about hiding his socially compromising shopping items. it takes a second for yugyeom to notice, doing a double take at the pads atop his small tower of goods. he holds back a laugh, balancing a bottle of gin in one hand while he waves back at some friends to continue. they were clearly making their pit stop before a night out, probably pre's if they still start as late as jungkook remembers. with his hair styled and expensive cologne lingering, jungkook almost forgets he probably looks unrecognisable in his sweats and cotton-fresh hoodie. friday nights weren't for cuddling. still, yugyeom's smile is welcoming and familiar. "got the munchies? and maybe also a uterus?"

"shut up," jungkook grumbles, averting his eyes. he shifts to his other foot uncomfortably. "my friend just needed a favour, that's all."

"uh huh," yugyeom gives him a teasing look. "is this friend the reason why i barely saw you at jin's the other week?"

jungkook blinks back at him. "wait, you were at that party? i had no idea!" a boyish smile breaks over his face. "why didn't you call me? i haven't seen you since-"

"minseok-hyung's new years eve party," yugyeom throws his head back with a laugh. "remember how we ended up on a boat after the ball dropped and-"

"spent all of new years day detained by the coast guard!" jungkook finishes with a mischievous cackle of his own, nearly dropping the tampons in the process. "fuck, that was so much fun! we need to meet up again, i haven't been out with the guys in so long."

"well no wonder," he quips a brow at jungkook's shopping again. "word got out you're a family man but i didn't believe it. until now, that is."

jungkook's smile falls. "what do you mean?"

yugyeom looks at him for a second, confused by jungkook's surprise. yugyeom was never quite as diplomatic as namjoon or yoongi, to put it lightly. and definitely nowhere near as accomodating as jimin. which is why his next words make jungkook's back stiffen. "bro, look at yourself. you got dairy milk in one hand and tampax in the other. on a friday night. the next time i see you i wouldn't be shocked if you had a baby buggy and a mortgage." still, yugyeom throws him an apologetic look. like a mouse caught in a trap. "face it, kook. you're old news."

"what? that's not true," his brows furrow unhappily. "i don't know what you're talking about. it's not like she's my..."

he can't say the word, but it hangs between them like a dead weight.

"yeah, right," the condescending look on yugyeom's face was starting to agitate him. "you totally blanked us at jin's after she showed up. not even just jin's..." he thinks twice about holding his tongue, but as always, decides against it. "i don't know you, jungkook. whoever this new jungkook is. it's been months. you used to hit us up and be independent and spontaneous and wild and now you're just...someone's boyfriend.

"stop fucking saying that," jungkook snaps, all visible signs of friendliness gone.

"why?" a beat. "do you even use a wrap with her anymore?"

jungkook splutters, heat rushing to his ears and hands in a stinging combination of anger and embarrassment. "how is that any of your business? the fuck are you asking me something like that, as if you-"

"thought so," yugyeom looks away from him with a sigh. if anything, yugyeom knew never to overstay his welcome but that clearly backfired tonight. "whatever, jungkook," he looks over his shoulder at him. "guess you're the last one to find out you're officially married."

"you're ridiculous," jungkook scoffs. "all this over condoms? grow up, yugyeom."

"only couples do it raw," yugyeom turns away from him, alcohol in tow as he waves a hand over his shoulder to join his friends like jungkook was nothing but a lost cause. "you would remember that if you still had game."

jungkook stands there, dumbfounded while the group of boys exit the store noisily but he can't hear a thing. the siren that had been itching the back of his mind all this time was suddenly there at full force, right between his eyes. the glaring truth that yugyeom might be right makes his knees buckle. all those rules jungkook once had, all those measures he kept in place to protect his liberty, to prevent this very occurence - where were they? what happened to them? as the sweet and accommodating counterpart to jimin, why had you never complied? though, the blame wasn't on your hands alone. he got complacent, comfortable. lenient. and now without even realising he was here, a scene from a romcom in the middle of the night, with nothing to say for himself but fuck. the realisations wouldn't stop racing, one after another on the conveyer belt of his anxiety.

the photos on his phone; mostly you. time spent, usually with you. the portfolio for his latest photography module also had some resemblance to your interests. charcoal pencils, night drives, orchids. like the ones you always drew on any scrap of paper lying around. now that he thinks about it, he's seen nothing but your orchids for months. and not just that - you wore his clothes sometimes too. his bathroom had your toothbrush, contraceptive pills and coconut shampoo. his closest friends, his hyungs...not one of them was devoid of affection for you. he wasn't even confident that if the choice was presented, they would still pick him over you.

by the time jungkook finishes paying and practically sprints to his truck in a daze, he can hardly keep himself from shaking. he palms the wheel compulsively, he could feel the sweat in his sideburns, hoodie suddenly suffocating him. it smelled of you.

and then, like a final curtain call: was he just your latest fixer-upper project? some good girl wet dream to play out in the wake of your emotionally traumatic past? a slap in the face to seokjin, maybe, and nothing more? when you were done, when he was out of your system, when you knew his taste by heart and had nothing new left to try - would you stay? did you even know how to?

did he?

jungkook starts the engine. he drives to your door, drops your bag of snacks and pads on the porch, and texts you before leaving. he does not go inside.

x

x

x

"you sure you'll be okay with just the boys?"

you scoff at seulgi when she pins you with a worrying look, taking some of her clothes out of her bag to re-fold them just so you had something to do with your hands. jisoo had already left for the long weekend with her family, so there was no one there to fill up the empty space between your awakward reply. you didn't know how to tell the girls that jungkook hadn't contacted you in nearly a month. and even though he was a notable flight risk from the beginning, you couldn't help but feel like there was hostility there. every now and again he'd at least send a nude or have a quick phone call when he was drunk or high at three in the morning, but you hadn't heard a peep from him. you couldn't stand the idea of someone you cared about harbouring comtempt for you, but the fear of reaching out and somehow making the situation worse outweighed it tenfold. 

you look up to see seulgi still staring at you with concern. "of course i'll be fine! they're boys, not piranhas."

"at least piranhas contribute our ecosystem. boys just cause problems for the hell of it," seulgi lays a hand on the crown of your head like a berating big sister, swivelling you to look at her in your fit of giggles. the urge to nestle you under blankets like a baby bird made her chest heave, and you could tell. "i'm serious. if jimin tries anything, call me immediately okay?"

"jimin?" you snort. "out of a room full of delinquents, my ex, and taehyung, you're worried about jimin of all people?"

seulgi wrinkles her nose. "god, when you say it like that its like i'm throwing you to the dogs." she pauses. "something's up with jimin. i don't know what it is, but he's...off."

you tilt your head innocently, remembering the brief interaction you had with hobi at seokjin's party. you had been so caught up in jungkook - or lack thereof - you hadn't thought to press him about it afterwards. in truth, jimin remained as...jimin as ever. if he was acting differently you certainly couldn't tell. "you think so?"

"mmm," she leans on the lip of the open suitcase thoughtfully. "but maybe with jungkook there, he'll behave himself."

you gulp, fiddling with his watch on your wrist anxiously. "maybe."

x

x

x

you nearly yelp when you feel a big hand swivel around your waist, bucking into the kitchen counter reflexively. jungkook always did this before rubbing his boner against your ass, but the light scent of citrus and short squeeze lets you know immediately that its taehyung. hoseok, jimin, namjoon and yoongi were still in the living room playing video games, giving taehyung the perfect opening to intercept you. namjoon and yoongi had insisted that you come over to their place after finding out you'd be alone for the weekend, and you had completely refused before taehyung's coaxing. and of course, jimin's persuasive nudging. even though you felt safe and relaxed here, it felt wrong to be in jungkook's friends' place without him. almost like a breaching of an unspoken boundary.

and clearly, taehyung picked up on your discomfort by the way he stared at you so softly. his back was to the sink, his sillhouette particularly long and lean this evening. "you need to lighten up, princess. you keep looking over your shoulder so much it's making me nervous!"

your visibly droop with a sigh. "i'm sorry tae. i've had a lot on my mind lately, and..."

he claps his hands on your shoulders, teeth peeking through his grin. "you're not doing anything illegal by being here without jungkook."

you wince at his name. "have you always been able to read my mind like this?"

"absolutely," taehyung's brown eyes look so rich up close. "you're allowed to have friends that are also his friends, because - and try to stick with me on this - relationships between people are allowed to be independant from the primary circles they met in. mind boggling concept, i know."

you wack him on the chest until he laughs. "stop making fun of my anxious thought processes! its called mental illness, sherlock! i can't help it!"

his nose scrunches cutely, enjoying your first fiery outburst of the day. "whatever. i call it not getting laid for a month and losing critical thinking abilities from it."

you gape at him indignantly while taehyung roars with laughter. "you're such a dickhead," you hiss through gritted teeth, yanking his hair and jabbing your fingers in his sides the way you would with jimin during a tickle fight. "whores have feelings too, taehyung! whores have feelings too!"

you both fall about with laughter, knocking over half the snacks on the counter in the process which only makes the pair of you laugh even more. it's such childish chaos trying to clean up the mess on the tiny kitchen floor that neither of you notice the front door open, or the gust of metaphorical and literal wind that follows. watching taehyung trying to salvage a bag of broken crisps is just so funny that the presence of an another voice in the living room goes unregistered, as do the footsteps leading up the hallway to the kitchen, so you have no time to brace yourself or properly pull yourself together with you see-

"...jungkook."

yours and taehyung's heads snap to the doorway. jungkook stands there with almost complete lack of emotion on his face to the pair of you kneeling in crumbs and napkins. there's a brief pause where the tension in your eye contact alone was so strong that it felt wrong to breathe. but it is shortlived. jungkook tiptoes over you like spilled milk, reaching for a glass of water. you and taehyung lock eyes while the tap runs in the awkward silence. "hey. you okay?"

"um," you're not sure whether to stand up, hug him, look at him, or even face him. "yeah! yeah, i'm fine."

he nods politely. "hyung?"

even taehyung looks visibly uncomfortable. "i'm good."

"cool. see you later," he says, downing the glass impressively fast before leaving the room just as fast as he entered it.

you and taehyung stare at each other again, not understanding why you both feel like kids caught eating cake before dinner. you could feel the sweat pricking at your back from the realisation. jungkook had no idea you'd be here, and given that interaction he'd probably want to leave now. there was always the inkling woven between his radio silence that he was done with you, but you never let yourself take it seriously out of logic. because how could months of passion and tenderness and honesty be undone so irrevocably like that? it didn't make sense. you hadn't changed. you were the same girl he hit on relentlessly and chased against all odds. so what was different now?

"____," taehyung calls your name gently, and it's only then you realise you're already up and trailing after jungkook into the living room. when you walk in he's already putting his shoes on to leave again, barely making eye contact with you while he chats absently to his hyungs so he can look busy. the four boys on the large sofa can only reply wearily, eyes darting between the pair of you like a firework was about to blow to soon. and it was.

you could feel it in your throat, under your breast bone, bubbling up your stomach. "wait, jungkook. um...h-how have you been? i haven't heard from you in-"

"i've been good," he keeps tying and re-tying his laces without looking up. "super busy. you know how it is."

his curtness makes you flinch. this same time last month jungkook used to kiss you senseless before he had both feet in the door. he'd ring the doorbell incessantly like a child and greet you with the biggest, toothiest grin you had ever seen. he'd make fun of your bed head and squeeze your cheeks until you'd snap at him. and now when he looked at you he hated every second of it. your mother had the same look. your eyes start to burn involuntarily. "yeah, i do. how is uni? your final project is due soon, right? what theme did you pick in the end?"

"the one i told you about," he stands up abruptly. "sorry, noona. something came up. i'll see you arou-"

"something came up?" you step closer to him. "something came up the second you saw my face? or did you really just trek all the way to your hyungs' place for a glass of water, jungkook?"

jungkook stiffens, but is determined not to lose face. and it's difficult to do under your big, accusatory eyes and jimin's death stare at his back. the whole room was waiting for his response, so he just shoves his hands in his pockets resolutely. "i needed to see yoongi hyung, but i can come another time."

you fold your arms. "well it's clearly important, and you're here now. so don't let me stop you."

"but you will stop me," jungkook snaps. "that's the problem."

"kook-ah," yoongi warns quietly, but he took one look at your face and knew the damage was done. jimin was already standing up, circling around the back of the sofa towards you. the red lights were all there; your watery eyes, your trembling hands. every breath you took looked difficult for you to complete and only jimin noticed.

"what are you talking about?" you squint. it takes you a second to understand; yoongi's guilty expression, jungkook's indifference. "oh, you're fucking kidding me." your resolve breaks for a second turning away only to glare back at jungkook with so much fire you can hardly stand it. "you're selling again? are you insane, jungkook?"

"see," jungkook's eyes are stony. "i knew you'd get this way."

"what other way am i supposed to get?" his lack of response only infuriates you more. it felt disrespectful. "jungkook, you're not a kid anymore. if you get caught with drugs the consequences are serious! forget the potential jail time, you could get kicked out of university, it would go on your record forever and-"

"stop talking to me like i'm a kid!"

"then stop acting like one!" you hate raising your voice, but it keeps climbing without your approval. "did you think about this for even five minutes? this isn't like just going to juvie like before and being done with it jungkook. your hyungs can't bail you out of everything."

"this is a lot of talk for someone who lapped up those fancy paints without a second thought," jungkook says darkly. his eyes aren't like you remember, his face solemn and near unrecognisable. "or did you think that getting that kind of money overnight is only something that's possible through daddy's credit card?"

dread blooms like a garden inside you. "that's...that's how you bought the paint set?"

"welcome to the real world," he quips. "as if selling overpriced weed to a bunch of pick-me-freshmans is considered a crime against humanity to anyone but you."

"you think that's why i'm yelling at you right now?" your voice was growing hoarse, desperate. "you think that's the problem i have with you being literal drug dealer, jungkook?"

he hates it. the sweltering silence, the judgmental eyes digging into his back, the slow realisation that the tears in your eyes were not at him but for him. jungkook's ears ring enough to make him sway on the spot if his feet weren't planted so firmly on the dingy carpet, this metaphorical ground. he couldn't shake the feeling that his lifestyle was only an issue now because of you, how he never felt a shred of guilt about any of this shit until he met you. and if there was anything that jungkook never responded well to, it was pity. and he could feel it from every person in the room, all people that that once cherished and coddled him until you came along. he swallows, throat dry from the way he couldn't look at you knowing what he was going to say next.

"you're embarrassing yourself, noona. you're not my girlfriend and you never were, so stop acting like it."

cotton. it's very faint, under the layers of conflicting cologne and beer and smoke, but jungkook still smelled of cotton while he spat acid. nobody could speak, even though jungkook never raised his voice let alone a hand to you, it still hit like a slap in the face. it sunk into the walls, your clothes, suddenly every hair on your body felt heavy with it. dirty. the shame came first, the humiliation next. and then the sorrow, the dread, and finally the defeat. you knew the stages well by now, and they were cycling through you like clockwork. how foolish you were, to make the same mistake again. nobody dared to move, everyone but jungkook staring at you in denial and horror. they couldn't believe their eyes when you nod steadily, bowing your head to the floor.

jimin is already slotting himself between you, his jaw tight. "that's enough, kook. just leave already."

"no," you stop him, unnervingly resigned. that single word cuts through all six men with ease. "he's right." you step around jimin, closing the space between you and jungkook. for a brief moment he wonders if you'll actually hit him, but somehow watching you unclasp his watch from your wrist and drop it on the coffee table in front of him is far worse. the sound seems to ring like church bells, definitive and umistakable. "you're right, i'm not your girlfriend. you win jungkook."

they all watch you leave in dismay, listen to the door closing softly behind you. within a second jimin sprints after you, calling your name, leaving everyone else dumbfounded. jungkook's stare could bore a hole into the abandoned watch on the table, still ticking away like nothing changed. like his eyes weren't burning, lightheaded at the realisation that he would never wear a watch again let alone the one he put on you.

x

x

x

to an outsider, you looked like you were coping well considering you just got dumped in front of all your friends. but jimin knew that face. your stony eyes, lips pulled thin as if to seal inside the collapse of a monument. you took the tea he offered, and then his arms, your face finding his chest with ease. muscle memory. his torso was a tad shorter than jungkook's, his heart closer to your mouth as if the steady thumps were asking for a kiss of acknowledgement. every time you close your eyes you could see jungkooks face, hard and unforgiving and nothing like the man you trusted all this time. but it wasn't a new expression; you parents looked at you similarly the last time you saw them. it was the look of someone who had no regrets cutting all ties. and now, jungkook was behind them in a lost list of people who chose to be strangers over loving you.

jimin sighs when you cry into his chest, brushing the back of your head gently. he had been ready for this for months, but he still hated to see you this way. again. it made his bones itch, his skin crawl uncomfortably every time you weeped. the only time he considered violence was when you were crying. but he knew what to do, laying down across the sofa so you could curl up into a ball next him, head on his bicep and face smushed into the crook of his shoulder. you used to cry like this for hours and hours, his arm familiar with the prickle of pins and needles. but it was the only place you felt safe. tucked into jimin's side is where you would always belong, and that truth was more glaringly obvious than ever now.

"lets get something to eat," he offers eventually, hand craddling the crown of your head like a child. jimin's other hand on your hip is warm and heavy when he pats you soothingly. in your episodes, you responded well to touch. "what about thai food?"

"not hungry," you grumble against him.

"we could make something together?" he peers down at your lack of response. "come on, babe. you gotta eat something. you didn't even have breakfast-"

"why am i so stupid?" you whisper, a fresh bout of tears welling up.

jimin rubs your thigh. "it's not your fault."

"yes it is. jungkook gave me plenty of red flags, and i ignored all of them-"

"oh, i meant you being stupid."

you scoff. "cheers."

"what?" jimin cocks a brow when you lift your head to look up at him. he wets his lips and you follow the swipe of his tongue thoughtlessly, distracted enough by his touch and proximity that you take a second to digest his words. "it's not like any of this exactly came as a surprise. you ignored me, remember? wanted to flex your big girl pants."

you pull away from him and sit up, forcibly shutting out the daze that jimin routinely puts you under. "what's wrong with you? can't you be polite and wait for a couple hours before laying into me like a normal person? jesus, jimin."

"so let me get this straight," jimin sits up, watching your back as you sit away from him. "you're mad because i'm not telling you what you want to hear?"

"no," you say, head shaking. "i'm not mad. i'm upset because i came here to be comforted by my friend and you're just making me feel worse."

"what do you want me to say, ____? that i had high hopes from the start?" jimin pushes his hair back, brows now at a sharp incline from frustration. "i told you starting something with jungkook was trouble but you didn't listen. why should i feed your victim complex when all i've done is try to help you?"

"victim complex?" you repeat, standing up slowly. the sudden steadiness of your voice causes jimin to panic.

"not like that. don't take it like that, it's just," he's suddenly before you, his warm hands palming up your arms warmly. "i didn't wanna see you get like this and it happened anyway, is all i'm saying." he sighs when your scowl doesn't let up. "if hobi hyung hadn't have given up so easy, then maybe…maybe this would never have happened. maybe if i had been harsher with him then you would have-"

"what are you talking about?" you ask quietly, searching jimin's face. "give up so easy? what's that supposed to mean?"

he looks away, hands slipping off you. "it's nothing."

"jimin."

he struggles to look at you, tongue in cheek. his lips purse for a moment, pink like roses. he's wearing that navy jumper you like. "look, it's not a big deal. he wasn't supposed to fuck you or anything, just take you out for a while. get your mind off kookie, show you a nice time."

your blood runs cold. "what?"

jimin's expression softens. "it's not as bad as it sounds-"

"really?" your voice is sharp, sharper than he's ever heard it. you recoil as if you had been struck for the second time today. "because it sounds like you asked some guy to keep me occupied like i'm a fucking dog. all because you can't stand the idea of me being within a meter of jungkook-"

he steps in, but you step back. "you know that's not true, _."

"don't i?" you scoff, covering your face in disbelief. "jimin, you've been hellbent against me even looking at the guy since day fucking one."

"because i didn't want you to get hurt!" jimin counters, eyes downcast. "i know, okay? i know how much of a dick it makes me sound, but its not like it hurt you when you had no idea! hoseok broke it off before you even knew about it so why-"

"because it's worse," you turn away from him. "you tried to control me. choose what's best for me because you think you know better than i do. sound familiar?"

his jaw sets, and it's like you can hear the twine snap in his head, the percussion of his heartbeat above yours even though he doesn't close the space between you. jimin stares at you for a long minute before drawing in a thin breath. "fine," he steps in, and you can't look away. "you want me to say it? fine. i'll say it."

suddenly the air is lace thin around you as you stare at him, waiting. jimin looks off somewhere else, somewhere you can't reach. "don't tell me you haven't thought about it, because i know you have. if i have you must have too. and lately its all i can think about - being with you, holding you, being the one who gets to touch you. and yeah, maybe it took having to see you with jungkook for me to realise how much i want all that, i put my hands up. but you have no idea what's it like to watch the person you love most get toyed around with by a time bomb like that. i've seen jungkook go through girls like underwear and i love him, god i love him, but even the idea of you being one of those wasted girls sitting outside a party crying over his sorry ass makes my fucking ears ring."

"j-jimin…" you whisper, but you have nothing to say. your hands shake.

"you deserve more than that, ____. you deserve more than waiting around for booty calls or living up to what the next guy wants. from jungkook, hoseok, anyone. you deserve someone's devotion and yeah, maybe all this time i've been too much of a pussy to give it. maybe all this time i was tiptoeing around my feelings for you because i knew if i admitted to myself that i loved you - if i admitted i was just like every other guy - i'd actually set the bar for something other than disappointment. id actually have to step up, and i didn't know if i could do it. i still don't. but if it has to be someone…it should be me."

suddenly he's holding your hands, calming the tremble that rattles them. his words bunch up together in your ears, the meaning lost amidst your awe. "jimin….jimin what are you saying? where is all this coming from, i don't...i don't understand wh-"

"i'm saying," he cups your face. "choose me." he pulls you in. so, so close. "choose me, not jungkook. not anyone else. me."

and there's a part of you that has already caved. that's already kissing him, melting into his arms like you've wanted to for so, so long. you're falling back onto the couch with him in a fit of giggles, curling back into his chest to hide your watery eyes, asking him why the fuck he took so long. you chat together between teasing kisses, pour your hearts out, maybe cry a little. later you would make tea and order pad thai and watch the office all night and fall asleep together in the living room well past dawn and then-

you close your eyes. "i can't."

"you can," jimin says, so passionately you shudder. his brown eyes are teaming with too much determination and ardour for his own good, and you both know it. its difficult to grapple with how huge a risk he's taking, because jimin never takes risks. it made the whole situation seem dire. "you know you can, ____. it's us. there's no one like us."

you don't know how you're not crying yet. you only have jimin to hold onto, hands balled in his shirt without knowing if you're about to push him away or pull him in forever. "maybe back then. maybe if you'd have said all this before," you feel empty, the beat of your pulse suddenly strong in your fingertips. "but it doesn't matter anymore."

he shakes his head in denial, his determination palpable. "of course it does-"

"i'm in love with him," you say. to jimin. to yourself. to the world, finally. "i'm in love with jungkook." holding jimin's stare isn't as difficult as you thought it'd be. "you know if you'd have done all this a few months ago…if you'd have just...i was always yours without question, jimin. and you knew it." it's his turn to bristle under the strain of your voice. "jungkook isn't perfect. i'll be the first one to admit that. he's made me cry, he fucks up, he makes mistakes. but he's never lied to me. he never made decisions for me. he never passed judgement on what i should or shouldn't do with my life. something that i never thought i wouldn't able to say about you, too."

there's a brief moment where everything stops. neither of you can believe what you just said. jimin watches you, frozen in his place as you take your bag, eyes glittering with tears when he calls for you. suddenly he's the time bomb he feared becoming, the panic in his eyes lighting them up like fire crackers. for the first time in his life, he stumbles over his words, and then his feet when you reach for the door, all composure lost. he was unravelling like a tapestry in front of you, never to be repaired, and he could feel it. "____. ____, please," jimin chokes, his cheeks blotchy. "i wanted to protect you, i was just trying to help. don't go. please don't go. i was trying to help you."

"no. you were trying to have me." you say, closing the door behind you.

x

x

x

you have no idea what time it is when you hear the bell ring incessantly.

it had been hours since you'd returned home from jimin's, but there was no way for you to keep track when your only priority was just keeping yourself afloat. you turned your phone off, drew the curtains, and resolved to alternate between sitting in seulgi and jisoo's rooms until they came back. you didn't know what else to do. when you weren't crying you were hyperventilating, and when that stopped the absence of emotion was so powerful you could barely keep your eyes open. you were exhausted but could not sleep. starving but could not eat. it was a miracle you even made it down the stairs, using what little strength you had to yank it open without even thinking about who could be on the other side in the middle of the fucking night. but at this point, you would gladly take a serial killer over jimin or jungkook.

"taehyung," you breathe when you take in his face, relieved. you must look like absolute shit because he scans your face and winces. 

"jimin told me," he says, the apology in his voice and expression was almost painful to register. "he told me everything. ____, i'm so sorry. i should have told you about the hoseok thing, i just thought it would be worse coming from me, and then i tried to force jimin into confessing but then he didn't because he's jimin, and now-"

"you're only allowed to come inside if you stop apologising," you say weakly, voice haggered from the hours of crying.

taehyung's pouty expression almost makes you smile with how cute he looks, gingerly stepping over the threshhold. "i really am sorry though."

"for what," you say monotonously, closing the door behind him while he takes off his shoes. "my inexplicably terrible taste in men? my uncanny ability to get manipulated by literally anyone who shows me a scrap of affection? or my absolutey shredded-to-shit attachment style thats barely intact let alone functioning healthily? after hoppping between the first two for a few hours i'd personally go for the latter. but whatever."

"please shut up," taehyung sighs, bringing you into his arms before you could have a second thought about it. "you need to amp up the misandry in this context. a lot of this had nothing to do with you and everything to do jimin and jungkook."

you're too tired to open your eyes, snuggling into the softness of taehyung's chest. you’re too exhausted to argue. "where did you learn the word misandry? have you been reading?"

"yeah," you can hear his big, pleased grin. "i know you and the girls have been calling me a himbo behind my back."

"affectionately," you add, peering up at him. he wipes the wetness off your cheeks, moving upstairs to your room with your hand in his. he fetches you a glass of water before putting you into bed like he's paid to do it. taehyung was the cuddliest person you had ever met, but you had rarely seen him dote on anyone. "girls love himbos. it's a compliment."

"not all girls," he mutters when he returns from the bathroom with a glass of water. "drink this, would you? you look so dry it's making me itchy."

you do as he says with a roll of your eyes. "what do you mean?" you finish your water with a big gulp. "jisoo loves dumb guys, what are you talking about?"

taehyung looks away from you, bottom lip rolling up under his teeth so fast you barely catch it. he pulls up your desk chair next to your bed, thinking long and hard before meeting your eyes again. "i don't mean jisoo."

you don't understand at first, but after staring at his face for a long minute your stomach drops. "don't. don't you fucking dare," another beat of silence. you rip the covers off you to scamble to your knees, grab your pillow and hurl it at taehyung's head. "taehyung, please don't tell me that the one remaining, healthy relationship i have with a man has also been shot to shit because i swear to god i'm gonna-"

"it's not a big deal," he says firmly, and he really does mean it. taehyung catches your wrists when you lunge at him, effectively ending your outburst before it can begin. he keeps hold of them while he stares into your eyes, watching the way they fill up with a fresh bout of tears. "i've had a crush on you for a while, so what? it's not anyone's business but mine so don't worry about it."

you try not to scream at him. "how long?"

"...since the start." he shrugs. "it's not like i could have done anything anyway. with jimin around. he’d never have it."

"but...! but..." you splutter, the highlight reel of your friendship suddenly marred before your eyes. "but you let me talk to you about boys! you gave me advice with hobi and jimin and jungkook and...! you encouraged jimin to confess to me. and the whole thing with jisoo?"

he wets his lips guiltily. "jisoo is a nice girl. i like her, but...not like you. i've always liked you."

you shake your head in horror, your face crumpling. bile rose in your throat. "so all of that...playing with my friend like that. was just to get to me?"

"listen to me," taehyung says firmly, gripping your wrists to make you look at him again. he's so close you can feel the warmth of his breath on yours, and you never realised how large taehyung's torso was compared to yours before. he could have smothered you, but he didn't. in all senses. "the way jimin and jungkook handled their feelings is on them, just like how this is on me. it doesn't matter if i'm fucking you or not, you're my friend and i'll always want people to do right by you. and that includes me."

there was nothing else to say, so taehyung wordlessly wipes your face again and fetches you more water before retreating to sleep on the couch downstairs. all the while you sat there in your bed, confused and bewildered and thoughtful. the same bed jungkook fucked you on. the same bed jimin held you in. out of all the men in your life, taehyung was the only one who treated his feelings for you with reverence. there wasn't one interaction you could think of where he made his feelings clear, where he even hinted towards wanting something more. if he hadn't have said anything tonight, in the wake of one of the most emotionally tumultuous days of your life, you would still be in the dark about it all. and that was the scariest part. you didn't know anyone else who hadn't let their feelings for you effect how they treated you. so ultimately, it was possible.

and jimin and jungkook chose not to do that. but taehyung did.

taehyung did.

when you finally pad downstairs after hours of ruminating, jisoo's bedroom door is wide open. and that's who you should be thinking about now - your friend and sister jisoo - as the sky begins to lighten with the signs of morning. you hadn't slept for over twenty four hours, you were hungry and thirsty, delirious from the whirlwind of losing the two most important men in your life in one day. but still, you are drawn to taehyung. taehyung, who never asked anything of you. taehyung, who was as silent as he was selfless this whole time. taehyung who routinely put what he wanted aside in favour of what was best for you. taehyung, who protected you without needing credit or recognition for it. taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung, taehyung-

"taehyung," you whisper scraping your nails through his hair. his eyes fluttered open, twisting his head to face you as you hovered above him. he could barely see you in the darkness. "taehyung, wake up."

"what is it?" he croaks, sitting up with half-lidded eyes and a yawn. he doesn't know how to read the expression on your face. he swings his legs off the sofa in a sitting position, wearing nothing but his boxers and tee, visibly alarmed. "what happened? are you okay?"

you take his face in your hands and kiss him. 

taehyung stiffens against you, breath drawn thin. you pull away to gauge his expression, desperately searching his eyes in the darkness. for discomfort, disapproval, anything negative at all. the absolute ardour you find instead could knock you down if taehyung didn't reach for your neck, kissing you again. you whine at the feel of his tongue, having no idea where such sudden and intense arousal was coming from. when you pull away with shaky limbs, you climb onto his thick thighs so he can feel your wetness through his boxers. taehyung grunts at the sensation, and again when you kiss him passionately and without abandon. the sweet girl every guy he knew was agonising over, suddenly in his lap. he's barely had his tongue down your throat for ten minutes and you're already rocking into him, his erection betraying his resolve.

it's better than he dreamed. 

"taehyung," you gasp, palming him now. he groans when he pulls away to look at your mouth, glistening with his saliva when you take his hand and guide it down to your arousal. "please."

[iwantutobehapppier]

We Will Wake Up

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers x Reader Summary: Steve and Bucky seemed to be everywhere you looked, certainly this familiarity between the three of you would only bode well when you seek refuge at their place during the Shutdown.  Warnings: 18+ Only, Dark Steve Rogers, somnophilia, dubcon bordering on noncon. Please if any of this bothers you read no further. There will be more fics for Festival of Smut with little to no dark themes.  Word Count:  2,536 A/N: Happy 2nd night of Chanukah! I give you some dark/creep Steve. I have been tinkering with this one for a long time now. @sapphirescrolls​ really helped fuel this along with Tyler by the Toadies.

You know Steve’s there. He’s always there now. He knows you know. He parades around as if his presence is pure coincidence. It is equal parts laughable and concerning.

Looking out the corner of your eye you catch the tall bulky frame of his best friend Bucky beside him as they wait for their coffee. Bucky a man of little flourish in coffee grabs his cup and sits right across from you at the table outside of the little coffee shop. Outside seating more comfortable for you given the current pandemic. But your two shadows didn’t have any worry about the pandemic with the Super Soldier Serum.

Steve and Bucky were great people. Working with them when it came to PR had its challenges but overall a joy.  Not only that but you were pleased to become friends with them. That was months ago. Now they were showing up everywhere you went outside of the regular

Compound encounters. However, you had noticed Steve was sans his pal more often than not in recent encounters.

“You should stay in the compound with us,” Bucky offers a solution to your current dilemma. You frown at his suggestion. Steve’s waiting for his drink inside of the coffee shop they both happened to show up to this morning.

A coffee shop you had never gone to before in an attempt to test your theory about being possibly followed. The results, worrisome

“I mean,” Bucky leans over his cup keeping eye contact. “You’ve said it yourself, they’re starting the shutdown soon and you’re not sure how long you can spend being completely alone.” You look away at his intense gaze only to catch Steve’s eye as he sits next to you at the four top.

“What are you two talking about?” An easy smile falls over Steve’s face before he takes a sip of his coffee.

“Just that she should stay with us,” Steve nearly spits out his drink, and Buck chuckles at his expense. “You know, staying with us would be much more entertaining than being alone.” Bucky leans over the table looks at Steve directly when he stops.

Steve nods his head, taking the lead.

“You know the Compound ground fairly well,” Steve continues. “It’ll be fully stocked to last the shutdown and then some.”

Nibbling on your bottom lip in equal worry and contemplation you worked out in your head, ways to refuse the offer without coming off as a heinous bitch. 

“Wouldn’t you guys be coming and going during missions?” You scrunched your face up. “I think that would put me at risk of contagion.”

“That’s the greatest part about it,” Bucky leans back in his chair, crossing his arms behind his head. “We’ll be there too. Unless the worst happens, and then we’ll get testing to make sure we’re not carriers before we come back home,” he pauses looking at Steve then you, “to you.”

Steve clears his throat shifting in his seat you tilt your head to the side watching him. “Are you okay Steve?”

“Mm?” he looks directly at you for longer than fleeting seconds. “Yes,” he pauses. “I really think you should consider the offer.” His hand rests on your knee, the heat emitting off him almost too much for the end of March in New York City. 

“We have a spare room in our apartment there,” He watches you nibble on your lip once again, he shifts to Bucky who just nods his head towards you. “We’ll get it set up just the way you want and I swear we won’t leave dishes in the sink.”

Bucky chuckles, “I agreed to no such thing,” Steve cuts his eyes at his pal. “Fine,” Bucky huffs folding his arms over his chest pouting.

You can’t help but laugh at the two of them, much like a married couple. Maybe having their banter around would be helpful to ease the worrisome a pandemic causes? Perhaps the following was because the two had so few friends outside the compound as is and they’ve often said how welcoming you make them feel. Without letting yourself fret any more over the decision you made your choice.

“Okay,” you nodded your head, Steve’s hand on you clasping around your knee. “When can I move in?”

The smile that illuminates Steve’s face bright enough to light up the sky of NYC you were sure of it. However, the grip on your knee makes something in your hindbrain whisper “Be careful.”

You had been doing so well, it was a month in and the situation was proving rewarding for all parties. You had a nice state of the art abode, they had a personal chef in you and you all had each other for company. 

Working from home was not an issue at all, they left you alone when you were working. You only saw them when you’d pause for lunch, where they always seemed to in the kitchen waiting for you. After work would normally be some type of movie to watch for them to catch up, sharing music or the rare occasion Steve drawing you as you read. 

It was nice and oddly domestic bliss but it seemed to change one drunken night when you kissed Steve. It wasn’t meant to be anything, you were drunk feeling good and he was making you feel good. With his compliments and attention before you knew it your lips were on his. He didn’t respond which left you feeling completely foolish. 

Not that you wanted anything to happen between you and Steve, you didn’t, right? He was handsome, and god knows he was packing with what your eyes have beheld when he comes back from his work on in his grey sweats. So maybe you did? Or was it the cabin fever?

However, after that, it’s a fat chance anything would happen as he avoided you the next day. Bucky told you it was just his nerves that “He’s never had a hot dame like you into him.”

Luck was on your side two nights later when Steve ventured out of his room for a movie night. A romance on no less, and Bucky suspiciously dipping out early claiming he was exhausted. That left you and Steve miles apart on the couch until Steve slid down to your side, his arm wrapping around your shoulders. He pulled you close and when you tried to pull back for some space for civility you couldn’t budge him. 

When the romantic duo of the film finally kiss you can’t help but look at Steve from the corner of your eye. Steve is staring at you, a light blush on his cheeks. He leans forward, and before you know what’s happening his lips are on yours. You’re quite shocked given the drunken kiss you gave him.

It takes only a moment for your lips to soften on his. The pleased sigh he emits warming your body up almost more than the kiss. With tentative movement, his tongue trails only your bottom lip, and your open your mouth on reflex. Then the flood gates are open, he’s pulling you into his lap, arms holding you secure as you both make up for the last quarter of the film.

As the credits roll you finally part, lips chapped and swollen. You feel your cheeks warm as you look away. Well, this certainly wasn’t your plan. Steve clears his throat and you look back at him.

“I had wanted to do that for a while,” You give a shy smile in response.

“I think,” you pull yourself off his lap. “It was worth the wait and just enough.” Needing to keep your distance before you let this go farther than it should. Sleeping with someone who was kindly housing you rent-free was not the smartest move in your opinion. 

Steve nods in agreement though his brow furrow with agitation. He was fairly certain his night would go somewhere else and the uncomfortable tightness of his pants had to be dealt with.

“I suppose you’re right,” he shifts on the couch and you pretend not to see the bulge in his pants that you had without a doubt felt just a moment underneath you. “I say we call it a night.” Steve veining confidence to take control of the night.

Nodding in agreement. “Good night Steve,” as you go to turn he stands up and grabs your wrist pulling you into him capturing your lips one last time. 

Letting you go when you pull apart he smiles. “Just had to have one more,” tucking your hair behind your ear you can’t help but smile, “Sweet dreams.”  He releases your hand as you turn once more to retreat to your room.

His eyes glower at your disappearing figure, eyes tracing the flare of your hips and lush back side. He wasn’t sure he could wait for another night to continue this path you two were on. One he desperately wanted. 

You were awake and abruptly so.

You felt, full? Oddly so? An ache and stretch in your lower abdomen the first sensations as you wake up. Then it’s the way you feel your pelvis flex against something. Eyes opening the room is still dark, your eyelids feel heavier than usual when awoken in the night. Are you sitting upright? What’s the warmth radiating at your back?

Warm muscular arms wrap around your body from behind, you yelp in fear. Your bareback is forced against a fuzzy chest. Wait, are you naked? Thick thighs flex below you and that ache in your lower abdomen is clearly all the way to your pelvis becomes clear. Your gasping for breath as panic sets in, your voice cracks in your attempts to call out for help. Who is this?

“Ssshh,” lips press against the shell of your ear. You’re cocooned in warmth and you’ve never been more afraid in your life. This sensation should be comforting but-

“Knew you’d feel so tight around me,” You’re bounced up by the thighs beneath, and the moan that pulls from your lips is involuntary. The thick cock lodged so deep inside you feel too good. It shouldn’t feel this good. The bulbous cock head brushing against that special spot with each re-entry. 

“Ste-Steve?” you get out between your shock and pleasure. He holds you down, still as can be, you can feel the steady thump of his heart against your back. Lips the press against your ear slowly trails down your neck resting at the nape. His breath pushes hot air across your bare chest with a forceful exhale.

“It’s me,” His words a whisper on your skin. “I’ve got you, sweetheart.” You try to find his words comforting, recalling how gentle he is with you, how attentive and soft the first kiss was earlier this night. How had it escalated so quickly?

Your nails dig into his forearms, his large hands holding your waist lifting you up and down as if you were light as a feather. It was disorienting. He drops you down and as your mouth opens his large sweaty palm mutes your scream.

“Normally,” Steve grunts pushing up into you. “I’d want to hear your beautiful voice,” He lifts you once more, his hands so warm and tight against your skin. His super strength made you feel like a sack of potato at the most. Slowly lowering you down his pulsing shaft you can feel the way he pulls at your walls, the sponge feel of the tip of his cock hitting your cervix.

“But I don’t want Buck to hear.” He grunts pushing his hips up and down, his thighs moving you without your aid. “These noises are mine.” He growls. His hand slips from your mouth to between your slick folds to rub softly against your little nub.

When you inhale to moan Steve shushes you, resulting in you bitting your lip trying to muffle your moans. “That’s my good girl,” his words warm against your skin as he sets a steady pressure on your nub in a circular motion.

Your walls fluttering around him he muffles his groan. “Fuck, baby girl,” his fingers digging into your hip. Steve’s hands move to lift you up, almost completely off his cock the wide tip sitting at the opening. For a brief moment, you think it’s over whatever this violation of your body is.

Then you’re falling, the push of his thick and long shaft into you makes your head jerk back. His chin resting on your forehead. Steve’s bulging arms wrap around you resting under your breast. “You feel me here?” a hand slips down to push on your lower abdomen. A soft moan pulling from your lips at the feeling. 

Looking down you gasp seeing the slight bulge, no wonder it felt like he was splitting you in two. Watching the hand slip down further, two fingers slide down to capture your clit, giving a gentle squeeze. Your body shakes, biting your lip to hold in a moan tilting your head back once more. 

Your hands grip his large forearm trying to pull his hand back. The sensory overload too much from being woken up in such a jarring manner. Trying to get hold of whether you wanted this or not was becoming difficult with each touch. 

Steve tut’s in your ear, his hand pulling back to slap your pussy. Your whimper following the slapping noise. “Don’t hide how much you’ve been wanting this.” He bends his head, lips resting on your forehead. Then touch intimate and far more gentle than what he is doing with your body. 

“I know you’ve been waiting so patiently for me to fill your pussy,” His crass words scrap against your forehead. You go to shake your head but pause when he rotates his hips. 

“It’s okay,” his tone saccharine, “We’ve got plenty of time to make it up before Bucky wakes up.”

[suddenlysackler]

Limelight

Adam Sackler x Reader

TW: N/A (maybe a lil smidge of angst but nothing major)

A/N: This has been on the back burner for quite a bit and it’s a tad messy but I wanted to put it out for you all because I miss you and I miss my goblin bf and, ya know, Cannes 2021. Thank you for reading, I’m hopeful that I’ll be back more frequently in the coming weeks!

...

Adam Sackler had ascertained very quickly that he did not care for red carpets in the slightest. 

Given what he had found himself struggling through his late teens and seemingly all of his twenties, the relief of finally, finally, finally achieving some sort of steady stream of work and establishing himself as a serious actor provided relief that he could not be more grateful for. 

He liked being able to turn down the $800 a month from his grandmother and moving out of his apartment for good this time, trading up for some swanky new town house in upper Manhattan. He liked being able to afford to be choosy about what jobs he took and he liked that he was able to split his time between stage and screen. Hell, he’d even tried his hand at directing some dumb indie film that landed him right smack dab in the middle of Sundance.

Which is when he found out he hated red carpets.

He absolutely hated the insincerity of all of it — the rushed interviews, the posing for what seemed like hours on end for photographs that he’d probably never even see and he wasn’t allowed to smile for exactly like he’d want to. He hated answering the same questions over and over again and rubbing elbows with reporters from tabloids asking about off screen romances and making it blatantly clear to him that they weren’t interested in the art he had just helped create.

Along the way, maybe five red carpet events into his career, he met you. To his surprise, he didn’t meet you through a mutual friend or at a party or by yelling at you to stop taking food from open containers in the store he was working in. He met you because he accidentally took your coffee on a Wednesday morning before you could grab it and you promptly chased him down 45th street and cussed him out by using every single insult you could manage.

And that’s when things just clicked for him.

Everything fell into place after you came into his life and suddenly he felt even more fulfilled than he originally figured was even possible. He liked coming home to you after long days on set or at the theater. He liked bringing you to see different projects he was working on during production or bringing you to advanced screenings or dress rehearsals. Whenever he got a script, you were the first one he talked to about whether or not to even try for the role. He never wanted to object you to the horror that was a red carpet.

Not until now, anyway.

It was the first time that you had happened to be available for one and, yeah, he had invited you to all of the ones he had been to since you had been together but he didn’t necessarily want to take you. Of all of the things in his world that he wanted to show you, premiere events were the one thing he wanted to shelter you from. You knew about the drinking, the philandering of his early to mid twenties, the string of psycho ex girlfriends who he swore might show up at your shared doorstep at any given time to rip him a new one. Despite all of that shit, you’d some how managed to still like him, love him even. He didn’t want to chase you away with the bullshit that came with his career.

Maybe this would be the straw that broke the camel’s back?

You’d said yes without hesitation and his stomach dropped. He knew you never turned down an excuse to dress up, to impress him and make him feel proud of the fact that you were his girl, just his. So, on the night of the Tony Awards, he sat in the hotel room his manager had reserved for the two of you to get ready with the help of a team of aestheticians and hair dressers and tailors watching you twirl in what was probably the most expensive ball gown you would ever wear in childlike delight. Music of your choice played softly on someone’s phone and you could hardly stay still enough for the finishing touches that were being pushed into your face. You looked and felt like a million bucks and Adam knew that, but how was he supposed to enjoy it? He was too preoccupied with figuring out what he would do if you freaked out on him, threatened to leave him or some shit, after the circus act you were about to parade through in order to get to your final destination of the night.

“You look handsome.” You called from the chair you had been forced into, eyes opened wide for quick swipes of mascara.

Adam was so far gone, lost in his thoughts and strapped with worry. He didn’t hear you compliment him. He didn’t see you get up and he felt as though the force of you slotting yourself between his slightly parted legs was a ghost of a touch. “Hey, doll.” He mumbled when he finally did notice you.

One of your eyebrows quirked up. “You good, Adam?” 

He sensed some wavering in your voices, maybe some concern. Maybe some doubt? “I’m okay, just hate this shit.”

The other eyebrow followed the first. “What do you mean you hate this shit?” You ask as his publicist swept into the room and began to shoo the two of you out the door and down to stand for pictures and questions. 

He held your hand tightly as you weaved down the hall and into the elevator. “I just don’t like this part.” He shrugged and you squeeze his hand as you listen. “Worried it’ll bug you as much as it bugs me.”

“I mean, I’d walk over hot coals to see you in a tux.” You teased, eyes bright. When he doesn’t shoot back with a response characteristic of his normally playful bravado, some of that brightness leaves your expression. “You know I’m just happy to be with you, right? I’m proud of you.”

Adam hummed in response and squeezed your hand back. “I know.”

You weren’t having his clipped answers. “I don’t care that there are going to be pictures or tons of people watching. You know that shit won’t make me think differently of you.”

He remained quiet after giving you another shrug, still completely scared out of his mind that your words were just that, words. That you’d hit the ground running and never look back as soon as you realized just what supporting him at these things entailed.

The silence lasted for the rest of the elevator ride, through the lobby, and in the limousine and in the little holding room they put you in that is riddled with all of the snacks he would tease you for indulging in had the circumstances been different. He was tense, his muscles tight, tight, tight from his jaw to his calves, knee bouncing and free hand clenching and unclenching right until the moment his name was called. 

The moment wasn’t awful to begin with. It’s mostly pausing and stopping a lot of times for Adam to take pictures while you watch from the sidelines and, every so often, he pulls you in for a few. He doesn’t tell you that, in the moments he doesn’t have his arm around you, that isn’t kissing your cheek chastely and holding your hand, that he feels like he’s drowning. 

It didn’t phase you as you listened to reporters hound him about his female costar and whether or not they were seeing each other. It really didn’t even phase you when one man asked you to “step aside” and referred to you as Adam’s friend, despite his tight grip on your waist and the tender glances his stole every twenty seconds or so. And honestly, you didn’t really care that you might have gotten jostled up a little bit by photographers and other reporters as you stepped aside, more than happy to speed up the process for Adam.

But Adam would not have that, not at all.

“We’re fuckin’ done.” Adam growled, his eyes locking on your face as soon as he noticed you stumble a bit. He left without another word to any of the reporters and looked for his publicist, who was beyond livid at the fact that Adam was blowing off his responsibilities without much of an explanation. Before he went up to him, he grabbed your hand and dragged you along with him, not saying another word.

After a hushed but tense back and forth between the two men, the three of you stepped out of the view of the public and quickly found one of the many green rooms for invited guests to cool down and touch up hair and make up before heading into the venue. 

He paced and paced and paced for a long moment, leaving you to sit on the couch and watch with bated breath, praying that his older destructive tendencies didn’t suddenly find their way back to the surface of his psyche. 

After a long while, you finally spoke. “Can you come here?” You whispered, eyes round and, to be frank, a bit desperate. 

Adam came to you without a moment’s hesitation and knelt in front of you, placing his head in your lap and putting your hands in his hair. “Are you going to leave me tonight?” He mumbled into the tulle of your dress.

A soft smile crossed your lips and you shook your head, then moved to cup his cheeks and lift his face up to look at your own. “Now why would I even consider doing that?” You hummed. 

“After that shit show? Any sane person would leave.”

“Whoever said I was sane? Isn’t that why you like me?” 

He chuckled at that and nodded, biting back a comment about how anyone would have to be insane to want to stay with him for as long as you had. “That was just some totally bullshit and you know it, doll.”

You shrugged and shook your head once more. “Nothing I can’t handle, I’ve had my fair share of total bullshit with old haunts showing up on our doorstep, huh?” You made sure to keep your tone teasing, not wanting him to feel as though he needed to shoulder any of the blame for the situation.

Adam laughed again and relaxed visibly for the first time all night. “Do you want to even stay?” He asked, his own voice a bit more reassured. 

“Of course I want to stay, you’re up for an award, dummy.” You giggle, letting your head fall back as he moved up to pepper your exposed neck with kisses and playful bites. “And there’s the after party — I heard there’s going to be some damn good desserts and music.”

He flashed you a smirk when he pulled back and stood, then offered his hand to you. “What is it you always say when I ask to eat out on the way home from shit?” He proposed.

You stood and took his hand, intertwining your fingers and squeezing before walking toward the door. “What do you mean?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Adam’s smirk only widened as he held the door open for you and smacked your ass before letting you go. “We have dessert at home.”

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

The Logical Epilogue

Epilogue to The Logical Progression

Pairing: Nathan Bateman x Reader Rating: Mature Warnings: Cursing; sexual innuendo; Nathan being Nathan Notes: Honestly was kinda stunned that so many people asked for an epilogue 🥺 Sorry it took so long!  Just as a note, the painter mentioned in this piece is entirely fictional Summary: At first, it was exciting.

Berlin worked.

Berlin worked for a while.

You settled into your new position, your new office. Your new boss, Mark’s replacement, was out in California, and the time difference was a little bit of a bitch, but you made it work.

You made it work for a while.

You saw Nathan most weekends, at first. Most, because he got consumed with his work so often, and so did you, sometimes. Truth be told, you couldn’t always take the time out of your schedule to take the two hour flight from Berlin to Oslo, and then the hour long helicopter ride from the airport to the drop zone near the estate, and then the forty five minute hike from the drop zone to Nathan’s house.

At first, you did.

At first, it was exciting. At first you were optimistic, and in love, and brimming with hope because this was a compromise—and sure, it wasn’t something that the two of you had come up with together; it had been your idea, but he had said yes. Yes to your idea, yes to Berlin, yes to your new title – in his company. You had carved out your own place in his company, gotten to where you were by your own merits. You were happy. He was happy.

It worked at first.

After the first few months, though, the bloom was off the rose.

It started with the travel. 

Four hours was a lot one way – and that was four hours if everything was running on time and the weather permitted. It was eight hours all told, round trip. Eight hours every weekend, back and forth, was a bit much. So after a few months, every weekend became every other weekend – and it was still a lot. Of course, any time you mentioned that to Nathan, he was unapologetic at best.

“If you’d just moved in with me like I’d planned, you wouldn’t be tired.”

The first couple of times, you’d laughed. The fifteenth time, it wasn’t so funny anymore. You finally stopped mentioning it to him.

Then, it was the work.

It took you four hours to get to his house. Four. Three flying and an hour of a hike – sometimes through the snow. Silly you, you’d thought the man might stop for more than a kiss and a, “Hey, honey,” when you got there.

At first, the two of you were fucking like rabbits. And then your visits became more infrequent, and even when you were there, Nathan was sometimes too locked in to whatever it was that he was doing to give you the time of day, so much so that you felt like his damn Jackson Pollack: you were around to be looked at occasionally, contemplated, and then left to your own devices.

You’d made the mistake of mentioning that to him, too.

“I’d have more time for you if you were here, honey.”

That had started as a tease, too, but you knew Nathan. Every little joke and jab had a thin layer of saccharine shielding the spike he really wanted to stick you with.

And it stuck.

It didn’t help that your work had felt stagnant since you’d moved. Blue Book was still flourishing; your performance reviews were all positive; the Berlin office was thriving, but… But ever since you moved, you just felt so disconnected.

-- 

“You’re not coming this weekend?”

Nathan’s voice didn’t manage to lose any of its petulance despite how tinny it sounded through your headphones.

“I can’t, we’re going through tissue sessions for the pitch on Monday,” You told him.

“I haven’t seen you in, like, a month.”

“Oh, you noticed that?” There was a pause on Nathan’s end before he dryly asked, “You driving at something, sweetheart?” “Look Nate, I’ve got work to do,” You retorted, “I’ll call you later and try to make it out next weekend, alright?” Nathan let out a scoffed laugh and hung up. No ‘goodbye’, no ‘sure’, no ‘noon will be fine’. Looking back, that should’ve been a warning. With Nathan, there wouldn’t be a goodbye. There would be a drift. The time between your trips to see him became longer and longer, and your countenance in one another’s company became more and more icy, more static. The trips stopped, the calls stopped, and then a box with the things that you left at Nathan’s place showed up at your door. No note, no letter from him, nothing. His Maya console was right at the bottom. He’d finally ripped it out of the fuckin’ wall. Mommy and Daddy had broken up and you got full custody. -- 

The decision to leave Blue Book wasn’t a result of the break up. You’d had other job offers before - Nathan knew that-- No. No, you told yourself to take Nathan out of the equation as you handwrote your resignation letter. Handwrote, because you were still under NDA, and you didn’t want the drafts of this to be caught in one of the regular data audits that Blue Book did. 

You weren’t leaving to join Google, Apple, or IBM, or any of the other companies that had offered you positions with them over the years.  One of the reasons that you had moved up in Blue Book as quickly as you had was your ability to look at a product release and translate the jargon-heavy language into something the average person could understand. You’d done it for a few friends in the tech industry on the side now and again, when they were getting started with their own companies. And as much as you liked Blue Book, you liked the idea of being your own boss more. -- Your last night at Blue Book was no less than a fiasco - you’d been there a long time, so they made an effort, a fuss. They threw a party at a swanky art gallery in Berlin. People had come up to you all evening, asked you what your plans were, if you were excited, what you would miss. You’d told them - you were going to become a freelance writer, focus on technical writing. You already had a number of jobs lined up. You were incredibly excited, but a little nervous. Blue Book had been one big cyber safety net. You’d be alone.

“You hear Bateman was here?” It was a whisper behind you - from one member of the sales team to another, but loud enough for you to hear, loud enough to distract you from the conversation that you’d been in the middle of. There was no way. You hadn’t heard from the man in months - four of them, if you were going to be precise. There was no way he would turn up at your going away party - to do what? Make a fucking splash? All eyes on him? You wondered exactly how much shit you’d get for leaving your own party. You heard the ping of Blue Book’s messaging system on your phone and you pulled it out of your pocket, going cold when you saw the message. N. Bateman: Ferrar room.

No. No, you wouldn’t let him do this. This motherfucker wouldn’t get the chance to just swan back in and sweep you back off of your fucking feet after he was such a shit. -- “So you haven’t plugged Maya in yet.” “...Well between my phone, laptop and the NDA, I’ve kinda already got enough of your spyware in my apartment.”

Nathan chuckled, still wandering around the little back room of the gallery. You’d had to ask an attendant where the Ferrar room even was - but it was full of some of the most vibrant work you’d ever seen. So maybe, for that reason, you’d briefly forgiven Nathan for not even turning to look at you since you’d walked in. And yeah, it had stung, but considering everything that had happened and-- and not happened -- considering the things that the two of you had never said and the fights that you’d never had, and the compromises that he’d never made and every single compromise that you had made, it was no wonder that the man didn’t bother to turn and look at you when there was canvas after canvas after canvas of life in vivid color all around him. “Armel Ferrar,” Nathan said, “French painter, born in Peillon in 1868. Moved to Paris in 1885. Heavily influenced by Seurat and Cézanne -- more Cézanne than Seurat. You can see it in the color use, but… the way he plays with light, that’s all Seurat.” You weren’t looking at the painting that Nathan was looking at. Hell, you weren’t even looking at the paintings. You were just looking at him - at the back of his fucking head. At the back of his fucking head, and the slight tapering that you could see of his beard; at the way his shoulders sloped, and where his hands were tucked into his pockets. Your eyes drifted up his back again, over his neck, his head. The painting he was looking at, whatever painting it was, had bursts of yellow - wheat, maybe, or stars, or the sun, it was difficult for you to tell at that distance. From where you stood, it was as though the man was haloed and framed. Bright and shining and on display, this man that liked to keep to himself and spent his days underground in his office. “Stayed in Paris, too--” He was still talking, of course he was still talking, “Most of his life, or what was left of it. Never married, had one kid outta wedlock… Died in 1891, same year as Seurat. His daughter, Marie-Thérèse, married a military man that moved her to Berlin after the second World War. She brought his paintings with her, that’s how they wound up here.” 

Nathan went quiet for a few moments before, “What do you think?” “...I’m wondering why you had me come back here when you very well could’ve given that TED talk to an empty room. Or better yet to any one of the people out there that are utterly fascinated with you. Either would suit, considering how much you love your own voice.” You had already turned yourself to look at a painting, made yourself distracted by the time you answered, because you’d known that that would get a look from him. You were right, too; you saw him turn to look at you out of your periphery. “Can we skip this part?” That bored tone was back. You dug your nails into the palms of your hands, letting your eyes hone in on the vivid splashes of red on the painting in front of you - petunias. “Which part would that be?” You asked. “The part where you tell me what I did wrong and I pretend that you’re right so that I can say sorry and we can get back to what we were doing.”

You laughed. You actually laughed. Not a fake one, not a haughty one, but a real peal of laughter left you in shock. “Wow,” You sighed once it had passed, “I forgot what a dick you are, you know that? I actually kinda managed to forget.” “Look--” “No,” You turned to face him, holding a hand up to stop whatever he was about to say, “If you came to fake some sincere bullshit, or to tell me that everything would’ve worked if we had done things your way--” “They would’ve--” “Shut the fuck up, Bateman,” You snapped, “You don’t know that, alright? You don’t. I don’t care if you have it in your head that it would’ve all been perfect because you said so.” 

“You really think my way would’ve been worse?” “Well, we’ll never know,” You shrugged, folding your arms over your chest. Nathan was quiet for a single, blessed moment. Then-- “Why are you leaving Blue Book?” “I don’t wanna sound egotistical here, but I kinda refuse to believe that you didn’t read my resignation letter.” “I did.” “Then you know the answer.” “Were those the only reasons?” You looked over his face for a few moments. “... It wasn’t you,” You shook your head, “I don’t know if you wanted it to be, or didn’t, but it wasn’t you.” “Why the fuck would I want it to be?” “Because you think the universe revolves around your beard.” 

He seemed to fight a smile for a moment, and your stomach twisted. You’d seen that look - the way he had to work to pull down the corners of his mouth - in the first video he’d ever sent you, yelling at Maya to remove you as an admin. Maya, which was still sitting in a box in your apartment, because you couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of the damn console. You didn’t want to plug it in, but you couldn’t just fucking throw it out. “...So, this new job,” He approached you slowly, and you were careful to hold your ground - not just because backing or turning away felt like weakness, but because stepping backward would mean knocking into the work of a French artist whose life sounded pretty fucking tragic. “Yes?” “You staying in Berlin?” You were quiet for a few moments before you shook your head. “I don’t know. I can do it from anywhere, so I haven’t really decided what my next move is going to be.” “Anywhere?” Nathan repeated. “Whatever you’re thinking, un-think it.” “Can’t unscramble an egg, honey.” “Don’t.” “Don’t what?” “Bateman, I’m serious. You think I’m just gonna crawl back to you?” “Who the fuck is doing the crawling? I’m here!” He snapped. “Oh, look. Nathan did one thing,” You cooed mockingly, “Nathan put on something other than sweatpants and left his estate--” “It’s a four hour trip--” “Oh, you cannot fucking tell me about the travel, Bateman, don’t you dare. I did that for months and you acted like it was nothing, you acted like I was nothing!” 

And then Nathan stopped. Nathan stopped and lowered his chin to his chest for a moment. “You’re not,” He spoke softly - so softly you almost didn’t hear, “You’re not-- You know that. That's your insecurities talking--” “Knowing and feeling are two different things. I’m not a console, I don’t run an OS, I can’t just go in and fix the buggy code that tells me differently,” You had to work to keep your voice steady and get the words out, “What you just did once to get here? I did that for months, Bateman. And that’s after I pulled my whole life up and moved to a new country. That trip, two days a week, every week, and half the time I was there, you acted like I wasn’t. I may as well have not been, so I stopped going.”  “You could’ve talked to me.” “...You know what, I’m not even going near that one, because I really don’t want to yell in here,” You managed through gritted teeth, eyes diverted to another painting. Nathan lifted his head then, looking you over before he stepped forward, muttering, “Stop that.” “What?” “That.” He reached out, taking hold of your hands from where they were crossed under your arms. He ‘tsk’ed softly as he uncrossed your arms and unfolded your hands, running his thumbs over the small half-moon dents that your nails had left in your palms. “... Alright, maybe gatecrashing wasn’t my best idea,” He glanced toward the door to the room before his eyes scanned your face. “I don’t think it even breaks your top five.” “Would you care to list that top five now?” “I would not, at the risk of puffing up your beard.” You heard him chuckle, felt his thumbs continue to smooth over your palms. “...You remember that first Rise of AI, when I told you why I’d pulled you up on stage to give that presentation?” He asked. You frowned, turning to look at him again. He was watching you closely over the top of his glasses, eyes knowing and dark. “You wanted to see what I'd do if you threw me in the deep end.” He nodded. “That was Blue Book, something we both knew. This…” He wrapped his hands around your, gave them a gentle squeeze, “This is new for the both of us. We jumped into the deep end and uh…Starting in the kiddy pool might’ve been better.”  “Did Nathan Bateman just admit defeat?” “No. No,” His gaze went stern, then, “Because kiddy pool or not, you’re still in the fuckin’ water.” You looked down at where his hands were holding yours still. “I want to try again,” Nathan crowded closer to you, “And I know-- I know that I am an asshole and that I fucked up, and you know what, I’m probably going to fuck up again,” He raised one hand to cup your chin, raising your head to meet his eyes, “But I wanna give it another shot. I just… I just need to know if that’s even an option here.” When the box of your things had arrived at your place, you’d told yourself that it wasn’t. You’d told yourself that Nathan was an asshole, and a shitstain, and a dickwad, and a douchecanoe, and a host of other derogatory names that you’d dreamt up in your most frustrated moments. Because, yeah, he could be those things. But that didn’t change the fact that you still had feelings for him. It didn’t change the fact that you’d made mistakes in that relationship, too. “So?” He prompted you as you looked at one another, “How do you think we’d do in the kiddy pool?” You gave him a small smile and murmured, “Swimmingly.” The force of Nathan’s kiss nearly knocked you off of your feet - your head would’ve hit a Ferrar if his hand hadn’t come up to cup the back and cushion it. (The gallery owner saw the two of you and was horrified.) (But Nathan bought that painting and like five others, so they got over it.)

Tag list: @spider-starry​ ; @mylittlelonelyappreciation​ ; @grogu-pascal​ ; @blueeyesatnight​ ; @kid-from-new-zealand​ ; @revolution-starter​ ; @kindablackenedsuperhero

[lillywillow]

Body Art

Summary: When you find an art competition, you and Steve enter as model and artist

Word Count: 742

Prompt Used: Being painted wasn’t what she had expected

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Female Reader

Warnings: Body painting

Written for @captain-rogers-beard Month of June 2020 Flex Your Writing Muscles challenge (although I’m not sure if they’re still here)

When you heard about a chance to model for an upcoming art exhibit, you were intrigued. The exhibition covered a section on body art, which involved artists painting live models as their canvases. You told your boyfriend Steve about what you wanted to do, you half expected him to be totally against the idea. To your surprise, he not only supported you but wanted to be a part of the show so you applied your names to the list as artist and model and waited to be accepted.

...

Within the next few weeks, you found out that you had been accepted to be a part of the art exhibit so you and Steve worked on a plan. Time flew by and the day of the opening arrived. You were assigned a private area and had everything you needed. Steve had bought some new brushes and paints while you had changed into the nude coloured modesty garments that matched your skin tone and put your hair up. You had also bought a wig which Steve would apply when he was done.

 “Ready for this, Y/N?” he asked, dipping his brush into the first colour.

 “R-ready...” Now that the moment had arrived, you felt a little self conscious that your boyfriend would be painting your body. It had never truly occurred to you how very intimate this situation was. Steve picked up on your uneasiness and stopped.

 “You know, Y/N, we don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. We can go right now...” You smiled sweetly and pecked his lips.

 “I’m nervous but it’s a good kind nervous. Like when we first met...” Steve smiled and kissed your hand before setting to work.

 Steve started with your legs first and worked his way up your body. Every stroke of his brush against your skin sent shivers down your spine, your heart pound in your chest and butterflies erupt in your belly. His face was focused and determined, yet calm and relaxed like any other time you watched him draw in his sketchbook. The way his eyes were on you and only you made you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. It made him fall deeper in love with the man. Every passing moment felt like an eternity but not in the bad way. No, this was the kind of eternity that made you realise you could spend the rest of your life with Steve and never get tired of him.

 When Steve reached your back, he pressed a kiss against your shoulder. You let out a soft sigh and goosebumps break out.

 “Are you cold? Do you want me to stop?” he asked, concerned about the sudden change on the unpainted sections on your skin.

 “No... Please, keep going,” you breathed, closing your eyes in content. Steve smiled a little and continued working.

 He had painted almost every inch of your body; all that was left was your face. Steve paused a moment, cupping your cheeks in his hands and kissing your lips. You kissed back, desperate to run your fingers through his hair, run your hands over his chest, do something but refrained from doing so to avoid messing up his artwork. The things this man did to you...

 “I just wanted to kiss you one last time before I started on your gorgeous face,” he murmured against your lips.

 “There’ll be plenty of time after,” you purred once he had pulled away.

 “Couldn’t wait that long,” he said with a small smirk. You blushed a little and looked away as he got his brush ready to complete the next section.

 When all the artists had completed their work, the models went out to pose and be photographed in their assigned places. People walked around, oohing and ahhing over the artwork. Of course there were a few rude comments that you tried to block out, feeling a little insecure again but when you saw Steve’s face, all that negativity went away.

 At the end of the show, the owner of the gallery offered the artists and models to stick around for a party on the success of the show but you and Steve decided to go home to spend some time with each other. In a way, being a canvas for his artwork felt absolutely amazing but to Steve, you were the true work of art.

[fromthedeskoftheraven]

We’ll always have Paris

Pairing: Marcus Pike x female reader

Content: Kissing, shameless fluff, a little food, Marcus is the perfect boyfriend who will ruin you for all other men, in this house we have utter contempt for Teresa Lisbon

Word count: ~2200

Note: So...I don’t even go here and I was supposed to be plotting a novel, but I sat down at the computer and this came out instead. That sound you hear is my clown shoes squeaking all the way back to my desk to work on what I was supposed to be doing in the first place.

I hope you won’t mind if I tag the little handful of people I know in the Pedro fandom who’ve been so kind to chat with me, tag me in their wonderful fics, and help me fall into various pits ;) @buckstaposition @songsformonkeys @yespolkadotkitty @chaotic-noceur and the lovely @keeper0fthestars who’s been #goals as a writer and a human being since our Hobbit fandom days.

----------------------------------------------

“Hey, sweetheart.”

The smile in Marcus’s voice makes you cradle the phone to your cheek, as if it would bring him closer.

Mirroring that smile, you lean in to breathe the scent of peonies from the lush bouquet that dominates your desk. “The flowers are gorgeous. Thank you so much.”

“I hoped you'd like them.”

“I love them.” You glance up from your desk. “Half of the office is asking if you have any single brothers.”

His laugh is warm, delighted, a little bit husky. “Well, I wish I could have given them to you in person, but delivery will have to do for now.”

“I miss you,” you lament.

In theory, Marcus’s week-long work trip to Paris had sounded like a quick jaunt. In practice, however, the days have dragged, leaving you craving his touch, his scent, the warmth of his gaze.

A sigh buffets the phone. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” He laughs again. “The most romantic city in the world and I’m here by myself. Next time I’m bringing you with me.”

Your heartbeat quickens with the instant fantasy of sharing walks along the Seine, museum crawls, and plush hotel beds with Marcus. “I might have to hold you to that.”

“Baby, you can hold me any way you want.”

It’s your turn to laugh at the pickup-line tone he’s adopted. “Smooth, Agent Pike. How’s the work side of things going?”

“Not bad,” he says. “We’ve got some hard intel on the gang we’ve been looking at, so I’m calling it a success.”

“I’m glad. And I’m even more glad Friday’s only two days away, I can’t wait to see you again.”

“Speaking of Friday, I was thinking.” There’s a faint shuffling of papers on the other end of the line. “What do you say we have dinner at my place? I’ll get takeout and we can just relax, watch a movie, whatever you want. I just want to be with you.”

“That sounds perfect,” you say, and mean it. To hell with reservations and nice clothes, you just want to cuddle up to Marcus and soak him in, make up for lost time.

“Great.” There’s a pause, and when he speaks again his voice is lower, closer to your ear. “I was also thinking...if you want, I’d love to have you spend the night. Only if you want to, no pressure,” he hurries to add.

A tendril of warmth unfurls in your chest with his words.

Your first date with Marcus was a couple of months ago, the day after you’d met at a party at a mutual friend’s house. Truth be told, you’d fallen hard and fast for him, but Marcus had been open from the beginning about the previous relationships that had ended disastrously and left him gun-shy.

With each new piece of your heart he effortlessly stole, you’d tried -- and failed -- to imagine what woman would be fool enough to walk away from Marcus Pike.

Between his wariness of rushing you and a job that claims so much of his time, you’ve yet to go beyond making out like teenagers. You learned quickly that Marcus is a devastating kisser, and the little taste of what his gorgeous, clever hands can do has had you dreaming of what he’s like in bed. Now, the prospect of finding out fills your stomach with butterflies.

Really aroused butterflies.

“I’d love that too,” you answer him, without hesitation.

“Yeah?”

“Definitely.” You lose the last half of the word to a breathy laugh. “I hope you know my productivity is a lost cause for the next two days, I won’t be able to think about anything else.”

“You and me both,” he practically purrs, in that rough-edged baritone that never fails to make heat blossom in your core.

“I guess I’d better let you go,” you sigh. “But thank you again for the flowers, and I can’t wait to see you.”

“Me too, sweetheart. I’m going to go grab some dinner and turn in early, tomorrow’s going to be busy. I’ll be sure to call you when I land on Friday.”

“Fly safe.”

There’s that smile again. “Yes, ma’am.”

-----------------------

You’re buzzing with anticipation as you knock on the door of Marcus’s apartment, balancing a grocery bag in your arms along with your overnight bag. Marcus had promised via text to make breakfast for you, claiming it was his signature meal, but you couldn’t resist the urge to bring along a few extra treats. If anyone deserves to be spoiled, it’s him.

The door opens and your breath catches in your throat, just like it did the first time you saw him.

From his artfully tousled dark hair to his warm, black-coffee eyes to the beaming smile that dimples his cheek, he’s beautiful, and a week apart has made him even more so. Impossibly broad shoulders make a gray t-shirt sexier than it has any right to be and his long legs are encased in fitted dark jeans, and if he’s jet-lagged he wears it unreasonably well.

He ushers you inside, whisks the bags from your hands to the kitchen counter, and before you can say a word you’re enveloped in his arms.

You splay your palms on his muscled back and bury your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling the familiar scent of his warm skin and a faded kiss of cologne. His heartbeat thrums steadily, soothingly against you as he just holds you, swaying slightly on the spot.

“Missed you,” he finally murmurs, with a press of lips into your hair.

You pull away enough to look into his face, bringing your hands to frame his cheeks. Those dark eyes are soft with contentment and just touching him, breathing the same air, you’re nearly delirious with happiness.

“Kiss me, Agent Pike.”

Marcus is nothing if not accommodating.

His lips are soft and warm and insistent on yours, his arms strong around your waist, pressing you close to him. He teases at the seam of your lips with his tongue and lets you swallow his low groan when you open for him. The smell and taste and feel of him flood your senses, and every greedy rush of your pulse says mine.

You only part when you’re both gasping for breath, laughing a little together at your eagerness.

Marcus nuzzles your nose with his. “Are you hungry? I got sushi from your favorite place.”

“Starving,” you confess.

He lets you go with a last trail of his fingertips over your spine. The brown paper bag you brought in with you catches his eye. “What’ve you got there?”

“Just a little something for tomorrow morning.” With a flourish, you pull out a bottle of champagne and another of orange juice. “And I got you some cookies from that bakery you like, but you can save those for later.”

“You’re too good to me.”

“No such thing,” you insist.

You open the refrigerator, pushing aside a new carton of milk and a tub of salad greens to put the mimosa ingredients to chill. Bustling to his little pantry, you tuck the box of cookies away for him and fold the bag to put it in the drawer where he stashes them. When you look at Marcus again, he’s watching you with a fond expression that makes your heart do a somersault against your ribs.

He’s smiling as he comes to wrap his arms around you again. “I like seeing you here, in my place.”

Pulling him closer, you press a kiss to the bridge of the hawkish nose you love. “I like being here.”

Marcus rewards you with a brush of his lips over your forehead before sliding his hand down your arm to lace your fingers together. “Come on, let’s eat,” he says, with a grin. “No starving on my watch.”

You let him lead you to the table, where he’s got a veritable feast laid out. All your favorite kinds of sushi, steaming miso soup, salt-flecked edamame...when your stomach growls, he laughs and pulls out your chair before sitting beside you and passing you some chopsticks.

Over dinner, you trade stories from your week apart. His are vastly more exciting than yours, but still he listens intently, asks questions, laughs in all the right places, because that’s Marcus.

He lights up when you ask him all about Paris, even breaking his own “no phones at dinner” rule to scroll through his camera roll and show you a few of the best pictures he took. His passion for art and architecture and the little vignettes that get lost in everyday life makes him even more gorgeous, and you must be making heart eyes, because he dimples with a small smile as he puts the phone aside.

“What’s on your mind?”

I adore you, you think, but you swallow the words and settle for a half-truth. “I wish I could have seen it with you.”

“I do too.” He pushes back his plate and takes your hand in his on the table. “I meant what I said. I’d really like to take you with me sometime.”

You’re suddenly shy under his confident, unhurried gaze, and find his smile contagious even as your cheeks warm. The moment lingers, tender and expectant, while his thumb moves in gentle strokes over the back of your hand.

He breaks the spell, giving your hand a squeeze as he gets up from the table and draws you with him into the living room. You settle on the couch together, but before you can properly nestle into him he reaches for a small, wrapped package on the coffee table.

“I brought you something,” he says, sliding the parcel toward you with a grin.

You don’t even try to hide your excitement. Marcus has impeccable taste, and he knows it. He looks even more pleased with himself when you kiss him once, twice, before turning your attention to the present in your hands.

The paper falls away to reveal a flat jewelry box, and inside, on a bed of black satin, is a dream of a necklace: a small, delicate gold disk pendant, set with a halo of tiny emeralds that sparkle in the light. It’s elegant and understated and it couldn’t be more perfect if you’d chosen it yourself, and you tell Marcus so amid more grateful kisses.

“Help me put it on?” you ask at last, turning to sit facing away from him.

Carefully, he takes the necklace from its box and clasps it at the back of your neck, sending a shiver down your spine by trailing his lips in the golden chain’s wake. “It looks even prettier on you,” he murmurs into your skin.

“I’m going to wear it every day,” you promise, leaning into him as he kisses his way to the sensitive spot just under your ear. “Marcus, it means the world to me that you were thinking of me while you were there.”

He laughs a little against your neck, the puff of breath raising goosebumps. “Of course I was. I’m never not thinking about the woman I love.”

For a moment, the world stops spinning. The tightening of his hands on your waist tells you the words have slipped out of their own accord, the kind of rogue emotional impulse he works so hard to keep locked down.

He loves you. Marcus loves you.

When you turn around to face him, he looks rueful, almost apologetic. “I hope it’s not too soon. I don’t want to come on too strong, but I know what I feel--”

You cut him off with a kiss.

It takes him a second to catch up, but when he does, he goes all in. Strong arms pull you into his lap, his fingers tangle in your hair, and he just melts into you, kissing you like his life depends on it. Maybe it does.

“Marcus,” you breathe against his lips.

He pulls away, just enough to look at you. You feel as much as hear his questioning hum.

You stroke his cheek, trace your thumb over the place where his dimple hides. “I love you, too.”

You’d swear the brilliance of his smile could power a small town.

“You think so?”

“I know so.” You laugh a little. “If I’m being honest, I started falling for you at Melissa’s party.”

Marcus quirks an eyebrow in surprise.

You shrug. “Can you blame me? You were handsome, smart, funny. Dead sexy in your leather jacket.”

He looks away, smiling sheepishly, but your finger on his chin brings his gaze back to yours.

“But I also noticed you had kind eyes,” you go on. “You asked me questions and really listened to the answers, you walked me to my car when I left...you fed Melissa’s dog a piece of cheese from the charcuterie board when you thought no one was looking.”

He winces. “He was making sad eyes at me.”

You smile, pressing a kiss to his nose. “Marcus, you were a gentleman. Not because it was going to impress anybody, but because it’s just who you are. So, yeah, I felt like the luckiest girl in the world when you asked for my number. And I promise you’re not going to scare me off, because when I dream about the future, you’re in it.”

For a long moment he just looks at you, emotion swimming in the dark depths of his eyes. “How did I get so lucky?” he finally asks. He pulls you closer against him. “I love you. I really do.”

You all but whimper his name as he sweeps you into another kiss, a hot, hungry press of lips and tongues and murmured praise that feels like the love child of a caress and a thunderstorm. When his hands trail lightning over your skin and you manage to babble something that sounds like “please,” Marcus breaks from you just long enough to get to his feet, helping you up before he’s kissing you again, gently guiding you toward the hallway.

Your blood is singing in your veins, and if someone offered you a winning lottery ticket it would be ashes compared to what you’re holding in your hands right now.

Marcus’s sigh is the sound of perfect happiness as he tears his lips from you and presses his forehead to yours at the threshold of his bedroom.

“Sweetheart, I told you I love you.” His voice is smoke and honey. “Now I want to show you.”

[demigodreading]

The Boo Crew

SVU FALL BINGO! This covers the Trick or Treat square for @storiesofsvu​‘s bino. Full of Rolivia fluff and another chapter for my Ella Alina Benson Series.

Characters: Olivia Benson, Amanda Rollins, Ellan Alina Benson (Original Character), Noah Benson, Jesse Rollins, Billie Rollins

Relationships: Olivia Benson x Amanda Rollins, Olivia Benson x Daughter! Original Character

Warnings: Fluff!

Summary: Ella is getting older now and is trying to enjoy as much of the “college experience” as she can... but there is one thing that she can’t seem to get out of her mind. Trick or Treating with her family

Word Count: 1886 

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Noah had been begging Olivia all morning to get into his Spiderman costume. No matter how many times Olivia protested telling him trick or treating was still hours away, Noah insisted that he had to put it on right away. Liv knew that by the time they did go out for the evening it would be covered with any arrangement of the arts and crafts they had for the day and the spaghetti she had planned for dinner. But finally, she just couldn’t take it anymore. When the words alright flew out of her mouth Noah was already halfway into his bedroom to get changed. Olivia braced herself against the kitchen counter letting out a large sigh as the baby monitor in Bille’s room started to go off. 

She reached down, gently putting her youngest daughter into her arms. She kissed the top of her forehead welcoming her from her afternoon nap. Just as Billie had settled down Jesse ran into the room. Olivia smiled at her young blonde daughter as she crossed her arms across her chest. She already was beginning to look exactly like Amanda. It always came out the most when she was about to be sassy.  As Jesse cocked her head to the side, Olivia prepared for Mini Amanda to begin talking.

“Momma,” Jesse began.

“Yes, my love.”

“Why does Noah get to put his spiderman suit on? I want to put my princess dress on!” Jesse asked and then curled her lip into a pout.

“You know Jesse that is a great point. Why don’t you go put your dress on and then we can start making all of those cool pumpkin decorations you wanted? Sound like a plan?” Olivia replied conceding that it was easier to let both of them run wild.

Jesse entangled her tiny limbs around Olivia’s legs, “I love you Momma!”

Olivia returned the sentiment as Jesse rushed out of the room as quickly as she entered. As her bedroom door shut, Bille let out a small babble. Olivia looked down at the grinning child, “Hey, I told your mom I would try to keep them out of their costumes. I tried...for exactly two hours. I think I deserve some props.”

Billie merely gave Olivia a small smirk, “You know she could have helped me but she is out with your sister getting a last-minute costume for this big party she is going to. So it is just me and you against the hooligans for the moment.”

Billie smiled at Olivia and reached her hand up towards Liv’s cheek. Olivia took the tiny hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. Once she had changed Billie and got her settled in a ghost Halloween onesie, they walked out into the living room. Noah was kneeled down on one knee in front of Jesse with everything but his mask on for his costume. In Jesse’s right hand she had what she deemed her magical fairy wand. She gently tapped each one of Noah’s shoulders with the wand declaring him the knight to her kingdom. As Olivia watched she couldn’t help but let out a small giggle.

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Ella huffed as they left the third costume store with only two pieces of her costume for the evening in hand. Amanda stifled a laugh as they clambered back into Ella’s Subaru. Ella scrolled through her phone looking for another place they could go to find what she needed after turning her Halloween playlist in the background.

“You know if you had just gone to the store with the rest of us we probably could have found everything that you were looking for,” Amanda told her as Ella finally place her phone in the cupholder.

“I had an exam that day and hockey practice,” Ella reminded her, “Plus Noah would have tried to convince me to be another superhero again with him this year.”

“Oh come on hun you looked great at Storm last year.”

Ella smiled at the memory of holding Noah’s hand walking down the streets of New York knocking on every door with him. Jesse had been attached to Ella’s hip with her large purple jack o lantern candy bucket too young to be walking around on her own. It was one of the many pictures she had hanging up in her dorm room. Olivia and Amanda brought up the rear of the party pushing Jesse’s stroller that was full of all the surplus candy they were collecting. For as long as Ella could remember it was a  tradition for the whole family to go trick or treating together. Except for this year. This year was the year Ella was going to the most popular Halloween party at her university. She was determined to make friends and not be stuck sorting out candy with her younger siblings. 

However the more she thought about it the more guilt started to rise up. She was going to be missing Billie’s first Halloween. All for a party that she wasn’t even sure she wanted to be a part of. As if reading her thoughts Amanda placed her hand gently on top of the one Ella had clutched around the gear shift.

“You know it is okay to want to go out and do your own thing for Halloween? You are almost done with the college experience. Live it up while you can.”

Ella sighed, “I know, Halloween is just my favorite time of year. It is one of the only times that we are all together.”

“Well if you change your mind you are more than welcome to come. You know we would love to have you,” Amanda smiled, “But I will remind you though that your mom is going to throw a fit if you go out in that outfit tonight.”

Ella laughed, “It’s a warmer October than usual! I am almost twenty-one. She will be fine. I’ll make sure I cover up if I go out with y’all”

“If you say so,” Amanda giggled, “I love you Ella.” “I love you too Mom.”

---------------------------------------------

Over an hour later Ella and Amanda were making their way through the front door with a large bag in hand. As they entered the living room Ella couldn’t help but laugh. The large foldable table Olivia had set up was covered in various colors of glitter and paint. Billie was in her rocker silently watching the show but Noah and Jesse were making their presence in the home known.  They giggled excitedly showing their painted hands to the two newcomers. Their costumes were covered in spots of paint and patches of glitter. Olivia looked up from her craft with a sheepish grin, her Shego costume already on.

“Welcome home my loves,” Olivia said standing from the table, “Would you like a pumpkin to decorate? The kids each left you one.”

“But you have to be in a costume to participate!” Noah pointed out.

“Oh and who made that rule?” Amanda asked, eyeing Olivia skeptically.

“We did!” Jesse smiled, causing Amanda to laugh.

“I tried babe. I really did,” Olivia sighed.

“Oh I know you did. They actually are covered less than I had thought,” Amanda replied, kissing her wife, “I’ll go get change and join the festivities.”

As Amanda disappeared down to her bedroom Noah turned to look at Ella. She smiled as his curls bounced around his face. When he finally calmed down he asked the question she was dreading the most, “Are you coming trick or treating with us?”

“Please sissy!” Jesse chimed in.

The two of them together were a dynamic duo that always seemed to get their way. Before Ella could answer Olivia tried to reason with the two, “Loves, don’t forget that Ella is a lot older. She might not want to go out with us. She could have her own plans with her friends.”

Noah’s lips curled into a pout as he looked at his older sister, “Please Ella. You are gone aaalll the time. We just want to be with you.”

Ella did her best to contain her tears as she looked at the curly-haired boy in front of her, “Of course I can come but only to help you get candy. Then I have to go hang out with some of my friends but I’m sure Mom and Momma will help you both sort it.”

With a loud cheer, both of her siblings launched themselves into Ella’s arms. Olivia merely smiled from her spot at the table trying to contain her excitement. She wanted Ella to get the full college experience but nothing beat all five of them together.

-----------------------------------------------

“I remember this neighborhood from last year,” Amanda told Olivia as she adjusted the shirt on her Kim Possible costume.

Olivia laughed pointing at a large rose bush that was two houses in front of them, “I sure hope you do because you spent five minutes puking in that rose bush. One kid… I think a pirate almost puked on his mother when they walked by us. She was so mad.”

“Hey! In my defense, I was seven months pregnant,” Amanda said shoving Olivia with her shoulder, “But I am talking about the picture we took before that whole incident.”

Olivia knew the picture well. It was still the lock screen of her phone. All of her kids dressed up holding hands. It was her favorite. Well besides the wedding picture that she kept as her home screen photo. She linked hands with Amanda as she looked at a similar scene unfolding in front of her.

“I think we need an updated picture.”

“Think they will notice?” Amanda asked reaching for her phone.

“Nope, just do it before Jesse decides that she has to give us fifteen different photos and Noah hides behind Ella.”

Amanda and Olivia paused momentarily so she could focus the camera. Walking in front of them Ella had Billie tucked against her hip. Billie’s Tigger costume was a stark contrast to the dark angel costume her older sister wore. Large black wings sprung from Ella’s back. Her arms were covered by a light long-sleeved shirt and she wore a long black skirt that dragged slightly on the ground behind her. Attached to her other side was Noah whose Spiderman fingers were entangled in hers. He had decided to forgo the mask claiming that it was too hot so his curls sprung in every direction. Next to him, Jessie was holding his hand letting his Marvel pillowcase hang in the air between them. Her purple dress sparkled under the dimming light and her crown was cocked to the side. In her other hand, she held her Rapunzel pillowcase full of candy and her magical fairy wand. Amanda took a series of pictures and then turned to kiss her wife. 

“Look at our babies.”

Olivia smiled taking the blonde’s hand as they kept walking, “It’s so nice having them all together.” “We did good Liv. We did good.”

Olivia nodded and then looked at Ella again, “That’s not really what she is wearing out tonight is she?”

Amanda let out a large laugh, “Oh god no. She is basically wearing her undergarments to that party.”

Olivia let out a large sigh before shaking her head, “They grow up to fast.”

“I know my love. I know.”

[enviedear]

the last great american dynasty → draco malfoy

DESCRIPTION ⌙ in which y/n l/n buys an old home and quickly becomes the talk of the town

PAIRING ⌙ draco x fem!reader

WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.7k

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

pls enjoy this fic as i write my other four... its proving most difficult to keep up with all of them but i’m trying. and of course this is based off the song the last great american dynasty by taylor :)))

also here is the house i’m going to be referencing :)

when you moved to england your first task was to do as your parents suggested, stay with your distant relative, aurora sinistra. 

and you followed their advice. you tracked down her home. she just happened to be away. she had left a note saying something about how she couldn’t miss some sort of planetary alignment and would be in germany for the next week.

you had decided to explore the new territory and after an hour of walking around the town you met your soulmate, a home. and not just any home, a beautiful large piece of art made of stone. 

the huge house enticed you to climb up the large hill it was sat on. 

up closer you saw the vines and wisteria climbing up the exterior. then more details like the broad windows in need of cleaning, an old oak door, and doric columns that made you feel like you stumbled into a princess story. 

you forgot your normal manners and had entered the home without a knock, pacing slowly through the entryway, studying the decor.

“excuse me?” a voiced called.

you had turned to find a tall brunette woman holding a toddler.

“i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to just walk up into your home. its just, very beautiful, and i saw a for sale sign by the mailbox.” you had sputtered out.

the woman seemed even more surprised after you had spoken, “are you american?”

“yes?” you had replied, confused.

“it’s just, no one comes here and now i know why you did,” she laughs a little and adjusts the little boy on her hip. “this is a family home of a dark wizard, not many people want to visit a house that has such negative connotations. but i’d love to give you tour if you’re still interested in it?” she asks.

you smile, “i’d love to. i’m y/n by the way.”

andromeda tonks had quickly taken a liking to you and offered you the home. she explained that absolutely no one else would buy it given the fact it used to belong to her sister, who had fought alongside voldemort. 

you didn’t mind the weird history that came along with the home, it was too beautiful to pass up. plus, it wasn’t unlike to you to cause a stir. you took pride in doing things out of the ordinary.

that’s how you came into the possession of the lestrange family home, or as you call it, wisteria house, after the flowers that inhabited the residence.

now, almost a year later, you’re the talk of the town. most of your pureblood neighbors found you too new. you were new money, you were apart of an american half-blood family, and you hosted parties they deemed too loud. however you knew they were tasteful.

you couldn’t care any less about what they thought of you. your home was your everything and you wouldn’t change yourself for some stuck up old families. you found it marvelous ruining everything they deemed sacred.

one of your neighbors in particular, a man named lucius malfoy, had annoyed you to no end. he hated everything about you. andromeda told you several times by now that he proclaimed you a mad woman to anyone who brought you or wisteria house up.

so today, on the fifth of june two thousand and three, you were determined to win this feud.

lucius’ home, malfoy manor was hosting a party tonight, and you were set on ruining everything.

as you entered the mansion, you absentmindedly smoothed out your tight fit gown. it hung off your shoulders and had a tasteful slit on the left side, exposing your leg.

“y/n, come sit with teddy and i!” andromeda calls from a nearby table.

you smile at the woman and take your seat beside her, giving teddy a kiss on the forehead. he in return, makes his hair your favorite color and smiles up at you.

“i didn’t think you’d actually come dear. i know how rude lucius has been to you, but i’m glad you’re being pleasant and showing off your best face.” andromeda says sarcastically, bringing her wine glass to her pointed lips.

you smirk, “lucius deserves to experience my full presence.”

the party kicks off and andromeda introduces you to many people, like harry potter, who you feel very awkward around. you can’t help it, you don’t know how to talk to someone who saved the world.

she also introduces you to lucius, who is carrying around a small poodle like it’s a handbag. he doesn’t say much to you and you don’t mind, his voice annoys you.

you decide to sneak away from andromeda’s conversation with lucius and make your way to a balcony. to the right, you spot your home. you smile to yourself and begin studying the malfoy garden. 

after a little time passes you decide it best to find andromeda again, but before you can take a step lucius’ dog is licking your exposed leg.

“well how did you get here?” you jokingly ask the animal, crouching down to pet it.

the dog leans into your touch and that’s when you have an idea.

when you attended ilvermorny you learned a spell for dyeing flags so that the opposing houses couldn’t change it. it proved a big hit given the thunderbird house liked to turn flags into theirs as a joke during quadpot games.

you could dye the dogs fur so that lucius would have a conniption. the dye was completely safe as well, and you were sure the party guests would love to see lucius attempt to change to dogs fur back.

so you dyed the dog a key-lime green, and let it run back off to its owner.

“i suppose my father was right, you are mad.” a voice says from the hall.

you furrow your brows and step further into the hallway so you can get a look at who’s speaking.

leaning against the wall is a tall, pale, blonde boy. draco. andromeda told you about him. apparently he doesn’t like his father much and to spite him, takes teddy on walks in his garden every saturday and thursday morning.

“you know, people have been saying that my home is cursed to make any woman who lives in it insane. and i must admit after finding your aunt bellatrix’s journal i might have to believe them. her sanity did begin slipping after moving into that home.” you say, raising your eyebrows.

“bella was always mad. but if you keep tormenting my father i think it’ll be him to go insane. not that i don’t enjoy your little pranks on him.” he gushes, letting a small smile creep onto his face.

“i can’t just end your dad an i’s little feud here, draco. it would make me look cowardly,” you tease, biting your lip. “i really don’t even know why he invited me to this party. come to think of it, i don’t even know what we’re celebrating.”

“i invited you. it’s my birthday party.” he replies.

“why thank you for your invitation. may i ask how old you are?” you ask.

“twenty-three at 11:37,” he looks at his pocket watch, “ten more minutes.”

you study him before saying, “you know there’s a wall at my house that shows you the way the stars look. would you like to see how the universe aligns the stars for your birthday?” 

draco runs a hand through his hair, “i’d love to. and i’ve been meaning to see what you’ve done with bella’s old house.”

the two of you quietly sneak out of malfoy manor and into wisteria house. you lead him upstairs and into the sky room. the room had an enormously tall glass ceiling, and was decorated with things aurora had given you.

on the wall furtherest from the door was a live depiction of the stars above. tonight the wall showed a vibrant blue galaxy spotted with deep orange and bright white stars.

“you’re lucky, this is one of the best ones i’ve seen this whole year. the stars must like you.” you sigh, happily.

draco laughs a bit and looks at you, “despite being the town nuisance, i find you rather enjoyable.”

“despite that compliment being backhanded, i find you rather enjoyable as well.” you tease.

draco laughs, “did you know that the sacred twenty eight pureblood families have a nickname for you?”

you shake your head asking him to explain.

“they call you the last great american dynasty because you bought this big house and have money they can’t trace.” he says.

“i cant deny, i kind of like it.” you giggle.

draco looks down to his watch, “one minute and then i’m officially twenty three,” he pauses to smirk a little, “you know this is the age my parents got married, and i suppose my mother will expect the same of me now.”

“i’ve always said the best age to get hitched is twenty three. the brain isn’t fully developed so you can still love like a teenager but have the responsibilities of an adult. i suppose by that logic, i too should be getting married this year.” you joke.

draco smiles before looking at you quizzically.

you furrow your eyebrows, “what is it?” 

“i think i have the perfect way to win your little feud with my father.” 

“and what is that?” you ask.

“let’s get engaged.” he says simply.

“draco, i’m honored but,” you pause, thinking.

what would be the harm in accepting. you could spend however long you wanted mulling over the actual wedding. lucius would have to respect you a little more. and draco seemed to be a nice person.

“you know what, this mad woman wouldn’t mind being engaged to you. so long as you don’t rush me to marry you, and we stay here, at wisteria.” you bargain.

“you’re sure? you haven’t been drinking have you? i’d hate to propose to a woman who won’t remember this in the morning.” he jokes.

“i haven’t had anything other than pumpkin juice tonight. although i can say this is extremely impulsive, i am almost certain i’d like to marry you. i mean i just saw the ways the stars looked on your birthday. that’s the most intimate thing i’ve ever done with someone.” you smile.

“that’s the most intimate-” you cut the boy off with a simple, “of course not, silly.”

the two of you talk through the rest of the night and into the early morning before draco escorts himself home.

the following months were bliss, aside from lucius’ annoyance about you and his sons engagement. draco took you all over britian. you bought some of the best ice cream you’ve ever had from a shop in diagon alley, you visited aurora at hogwarts and met the lovely headmistress named minerva who gleamed at draco every time he spoke, you took draco to meet your parents in november to celebrate thanksgiving, and the two of you did a lot of landscaping for wisteria house.

“guess what tomorrow is.” you instruct your fiancee who is tending to the small wiggentree.

draco wipes the dirt from his forehead and purses his lips in thought, “ah, it’s our engagement party.”

you wink at him and wrap your cloak around yourself more trying to get warm, “precisely. i was thinking we announce the wedding day.”

he chuckles, “why y/n, we won’t be getting married for a while. plus i’d hate to toy with mother by giving her a date she’ll have to wait anxiously for. you know that woman is practically dying to have a wedding. though, i would have thought potters’ would have quenched her thirst.”

you roll your eyes, “we’re announcing the day. march the fourth two thousand and five.”

draco’s eyes widen, “and you’re sure?”

you nod and draco barrels toward you with a hug. it knocks you back a bit but you smile and hold the boy tight against you. 

it didn’t take you long to become enraptured in everything that was draco malfoy. he loved you with a firey passion you longed to never go out.

the wedding day came quickly, but not quick enough for you and your fiancee.

“you know, i must say, this crowd has to be bigger than harry’s on his wedding day.” you say to andromeda, narcissa, and your mom.

“it’s because half of these people are a little too invested in your life. i love you but having your wedding at a former deatheater’s home isn’t exactly normal. i mean i know it’s not bella’s house anymore but the history remains. i can’t say anyone likes a home of a deatheater. no offense sissy.” andromeda says, looking out the window at the large crowd in the garden.

narcissa rolls her eyes and continues weaving the wisteria into your h/c hair. 

“i wish i was better at braiding honey, but narcissa is doing better than i ever could. you were right to have me just doing your makeup.” your mom says, eyeing your mother-in-laws’ handiwork.

“i just can’t believe the day is finally here. my little boy is getting married. i always knew he’d marry a woman who could keep up with him.” narcissa smiles.

after you and your bridesmaids (who consisted of your best friend, andromeda, and your cousin aurora) were ready, narcissa and your mother escort you all down to the venue.

the two mothers smile at you before taking their seats. 

“next time we talk you’ll be a married woman.” your best friend says, nudging your shoulder.

“isn’t it crazy?” you laugh, clutching your flowers.

she gives you a confident look before walking onto the aisle.

soon enough its your turn to walk. the long train of your white dress trails gracefully behind you and your off the shoulder long sleeves keep your arms warm.

the grey eyes at the end of the aisle look at you with such adoration you can’t help but to let out a stray tear.

draco looks regal in his light grey tux. his blonde hair is styled just like it was in a picture you found of him from his sixth year at hogwarts, and his rosy cheeks allude to his nerves.

when you reach him he holds a hand out for you and wipes the tears from your eyes.

your father is officiating the wedding and gives you a smile that only a father can give before starting his speech.

soon enough it’s time for draco to say his vows.

your lover sniffles a bit before speaking, “y/n l/n, for years this house has sat quietly on this hill, free of women with madness and bad habits until two years ago when it was bought by you. y/n, the most brilliant woman i’ve ever met. you ruined all the negativities that came with this home. your nature is unlike anyone else. you always see the best in people and things. you make a friendly competition out of anything and it never fails to amaze me at the way you push yourself. before we met i was out walking with a few old friends from school and you were outside wisteria planting lilac. i remember one of my friends referred to you as loudest woman this town has ever seen. i have to agree, your aura is impossible to escape. but i would never want to escape your madness. everything you do fills me with light. who knows if you never showed up what could have been. i’ve had a marvelous time ruining everything this home used to stand for with you, and i’d be honored to continue doing just that for the rest of my life. i adore you, y/n.” 

your heart begged to reach out and hug him.

“i love you draco malfoy.” you profess.

“i know pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride.” your father beams.

draco leans into you and gives you a kiss full of love. all the best things in the universe couldn’t compare to this moment right now. in the end you had two soulmates, one, a home that you poured all your work into and two, a man who you poured your whole being into.

when the two of you break away you smile at your husband, knowing that this is everything you’ve ever wanted.

and the town whispered the same thing years into your marriage, “there goes the last great american dynasty.”

[justlostinautumn]

Request: His Human.

@nick-1432​ asked: hey are you taking requests? If yes then, can I request a cute Klaus x human reader imagine, you decide the plot. P.S. I love your writing

THIS IS A KLAUS X ORIGINAL FEMALE CHARACTER (NAMED NIKITA)

Nikita studies Marine Biology at Tulane University. After an accident, she becomes unlikely friends with none other than Kol Mikaelsons. But after an encountering the infamous Hybrid, Niklaus Mikaelson her life changes. The question is how does a tiny human capture the attention of one of the most dangerous supernatural beings in existence.

WARNING: MENTIONS OF ATTEMPTED ASSAULT, IMPLIED SMUT?

Hun, I’m so sorry you had to wait so long for this I hope it meets your expectations! Sorry, it’s not the best.

~Third Person~

Nikita was exhausted after a long day of classes and all she wanted to do was head back to her studio apartment and pass out before she had to head off to work for the night. Tulane University was one of the best decisions that she had ever made and she loves her Marine Biology course, the sciences had always been one of her biggest passions. But, she did know how to appreciate the fine arts like books, music and painting. Nikita had always known she wanted to do something with Marine Biology so she doesn’t regret not taking a more artistic course. She was lucky though because she was given the opportunity to pick up some more classes when she raised interest in languages and they were finally allowing her to do it… after all the months of hard work. She hated working nights for the last 9 months and truthfully she hadn’t for that period of time avoiding whenever possible. She honestly just didn’t want the chance of the same thing happening again, but she didn’t worry too much because she always had her trusted hero there to walk with her. Nights always paid better, she found that once the alcohol started flowing a lot more freely people became a lot more generous. It just meant that she had to be a little bit wearier around the patrons.

Walking into her studio she is welcomed to the noise of her TV and Kol laying on her bed, this wasn’t an unusual sight for Nikita to see and as much as she loves Kol this wasn’t the sight she wanted to see.

“How was your day?” Kol asked from where he laid on Nikita’s bed and she let out a heavy sigh looking at him with a slight frown thinking maybe, just maybe he would leave and give her peace for a while.

“Why are you here?” She was exhausted and all she really wanted to just sleep, maybe get a couple hours in before her shift. Sleep is good, sleep is her friend and sleep is what she needs if she wants to be able to get all the good tips tonight!

“No answering questions with another question. I asked first!” Kol smirked at her, Nikita tipped her head back looking at the ceiling closing her eyes taking a deep breath, calm. She was running on coffee and spite and as great as that is, she is beginning to lose steam and just wants to curl up in her bead and get just enough sleep so she feels energised but not too much that she ends up waking up cranky.

“I’m regretting this friendship.” She looked him in the eyes and gave him a weak smile. “Long, Kol. My day was incredibly long and it’s not even finished, I just want to get a couple minutes sleep before I have to work.” Kol looked at Nikita closely and noticed that she looked more worn out than usual and he can’t help the small wave of worry that ran through him. He speeds over to her lifting her face to have a closer look at her to ensure she is actually okay. 

“Anything fun happened today?” Kol asked as he leaned on the wall watching her move to her desk and sort her bag out, taking out folders and organising what needed to be done.

“Nope. But, I did see Marcel and Hayley in passing, they say hi and that they’ll see you tonight.” Nikita said not looking up from her task at hand. Kol smirks as he thinks about the best way to bring up the party that he was planning to drag her to, he just needed to find a way to tell her he knew it wouldn’t be easy.

“Do you wish you didn’t know?” This was the first time Kol ever thought about how the secret of the supernatural could weigh someone down.

“Didn’t know what?” Nikita finally looked away from what she was doing and looked over to Kol who was now standing behind her looking down into her brown eyes. His gaze intense and it sent shivers down her spine, he had only looked at her like that once and that was when he told her about Vampires, Werewolves, Witches and Hybrids.

“About the supernatural world that you live in?” Kol was watching her carefully and he saw her molten chocolate eyes melt as his question. There was a softness to it that gave him comfort, a small smile tugging at the left corner of her mouth, she raises a hand to his cheek and sighs softly.

“Kol, I’m happy that you trusted me enough to tell me about the supernatural world. Honestly, I wouldn’t want our friendship to be any other way. You make me feel safe.” She smiles at him lightly slapping his cheek playfully as she heads to her small kitchenette to get some water.

~Flashback 8 Months Ago~

Kol was pacing in her room waiting for Nikita to return from her class. He didn’t know why but he had to tell her about who he was… no, what he was! She had been nothing but honest with him this whole time, telling him about her past and her family. Talking about why she is so willing to break her back working extra at the Diner, but also at school. So, it was only right to tell her the truth about the world that she lives in. That everything from those fictional stories she is so fond of is true. He knows it’s crazy and that it’s only been a month of knowing her, but he has finally found someone he can call his best friend and he wasn’t going to lose her because of this secret… he’ll make her see she’s safe around him. When the door opens he freezes and Nikita sees him and gives him a soft smile.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” She looked slightly confused, but as she looked closer at him she noticed the look of panic and worry in his eyes and she moved quickly to be in front of him holding his cheeks in her hands, “what’s wrong Kol?”

“I’m a vampire.” Kol blurted out, that wasn’t how he was planning to do it, but Y/N froze and then burst out into laughter.

“That was a good one!” Nikita laughed, patting his chest as she walked away, “I’m a vampire, I’m gonna have to remember that one…”

But before she could say anything else Kol stood in front of her, startling her causing Nikita to stumble backwards, her eyes wide in disbelief and confusion.

“How? But… what?” She stuttered broken questions with confusion and a small amount of fear in her eyes, Kol held up his hands to show he meant no harm as he watched her drop into her reading chair and Kol crouched in front of Nikita. 

“I’m a vampire, but you are safe with me. My family and I normally drink from blood bags. But, there are many vampires in New Orleans that drink from humans. Most only target tourists, they don’t want to draw too much attention that having the locals missing draws.” Kol spoke calmly to her.

“Okay… cool… so, vampires… anything else? Werewolves? Witches? Mutant Turtles living in the sewers with a rat for a Sensei?” There was a defensiveness in her voice, but Kol could see that she believed him.

“There are werewolves, witches and hybrids… I’m sorry, but I don’t know any mutant turtles that live in the sewers with a rat for a Sensei.” Kol smirks at her and Nikita breaks out into hysterical laughter. She couldn’t explain why.

“Why are you telling me this?” She asks once she has gathered herself enough. Looking down at where Kol is crouched down and sees the fear of rejection, but also a pain in his eyes and she frowns trying to figure out why he would be in pain.

“Because you’ve been nothing but open and honest with you. I don’t want you to find out because you’ve been put in danger by being my friend… my best friend.” Kol looks down at his hands and doesn’t notice that she moves to kneel in front of him and uses her hand to lift his chin so he can look her in the face. He sees that soft look in her eyes, the look she gave him the first day they met. 

“Thank you, it may take some time and a lot of explaining on your part. But, I’m not going anywhere. I’ve never had someone who understood me well in my life and I will not allow anything to take that away from me!” She smiles at him. He can see the determination in her eyes and knows that she means every word. This was far from how he expected it to go… he expected to scream and running away.

“I thought you’d run from me because I’m a monster.” Kol sighed, and he sees the laughter in her eyes. But there is something else there’s a flash of something dark.

“Kol, I don’t believe you’re a monster… I’ve seen monsters and you are not one.” There is a darkness in her eyes that he knows well and he pulls her into his arms and holds her close. She grips on to his shirt and a small laugh bubbled from her, “besides, you’re my knight in shining armour.”

They both stood there laughing for a while until they pulled apart and sat on her bed. Kol spent the night and most of the next day answering all of Nikita’s questions. It felt like a massive weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Do you remember how I told you my siblings are planning some fancy party?” Kol was sitting back on the bed again and Nikita let out a sigh moving slowly towards him taking her coat of dropping it on her reading chair.

“Vaguely, why?” Nikita was watching Kol closely; she could see that he was up to something and she just wasn’t 100% sure what it was yet.

“Oh, it’s tonight.” Kol looked at her with big puppy dog eyes and she knew there was a catch.

“I don’t know Kol… meeting the family that you talk so…” Nikita pauses looks at Kol who is smirking at her, her head tilts to the side as she chooses her words carefully “highly. Kol you are always complaining about them and I’m sure you’re going with Davina you don’t need me to go too if that is what you are trying to get at.”

Kol just stood there watching his best friend very closely and listening to what she was saying. He knew he hadn’t painted his family in the best light considering most of the time he complained about them to her but he honestly really wanted her to come. He was silent as he watched her pull off her shoes and crawl up on the bed.

“I thought you might like to come to a party my family are hosting.” Kol shifted over so Nikita could lie in her bed next to him. This wasn’t uncommon for them since they had become friends. There were many nights where the two of them would sit and gossip about everything happening in their lives as they watched some trashy TV or even movies. It was like their own personal bubble that they have together, where they can just be themselves… no expectations from their families, from school, from work. Nothing but calm and relaxation.

“Working.” She mumbled as she finally found her comfy spot in her bed and sleep began to take her. Kol smiles softly at her as he watches her as she settles in.

“I may have spoken to your boss and gotten you the evening off,” Kol smirked down at the girl who shot up and looked at him in shock, mouth opening and closing with nothing coming out. Kol laughed and his eyes shined with nothing but mischief as he watched Nikita look at him in complete and utter shock.

“What?!” She was in disbelief, her boss who would barely let her off for the evening when she had to help out her auntie who was in the hospital and with her kids. Cutting her eyes at him, she had a funny feeling that Kol might have used his compulsion on her boss. Kol didn’t have enough charm in the world to get her boss to so easily roll over on this one, he had to have used compulsion. “Kol tell me you didn’t use compulsion.”

“I didn’t use compulsion,” Kol smirked at her, he knew that she knew that he had. He couldn’t help the amused look he had on his face.

“Kol!” She groaned as she sat up with her head in her hands, she ran her fingers through her hair and gave him a dirty look.

“What?” He was honestly confused by her reaction, he thought she’d be happy to have the evening off from work… she works so damn hard all the time she deserves this and he wasn’t going to back down on this one.

“You can’t just go and compel my boss to give me time off, that’s wrong.” Nikita gives Kol a stern look and he just smiles at her and gives her his puppy dog eyes with those big brown orbs.

“But, you need a break.” He pouts, Nikita can’t help but huff out a laugh at his dramatics shaking her head.

“Don’t you ever compel my boss again… without my permission.” She scolds him, but there is a smirk on her lips. Even though Nikita is smirking at Kol, he knew that she was being dead serious about the compulsion. She hated the idea of using it for her personal gain. But, Kol knew that if he had asked for permission she would have said no and he wasn’t going to risk that.

“So…” Kol looked at her hopefully.

“Fine,” Nikita says looking at him, Kol beams at her.

“I think it’s time you meet my family!” Kol chuckles and Nikita groans as she sits up and gives him a dirty look. This was the last thing she wanted. Nikita pauses at that thought. Kol normally came in frustrated and annoyed at what they had done. He called Elijah stuck up and a stick in the mud. He called Rebekah a hopeless romantic and pigheaded. He called Klaus a control freak, narcissistic megalomaniac and general arsehole! Nothing that she had told her about them made her want to meet them. If anything it really put her off.

“I think this is a bad idea.” She closes her eyes as she leans on Kol’s shoulder as she lets sleep take her. Kol rests his head on hers, thinking of all the times that they had done it before.

“I’m sure you do,” Kol spoke, shaking his head leaning back and continuing watching the movie he was playing.

Kol had bought her a dress to wear. It was a long-sleeved backless dress that had a slit up to her right upper thigh. It was soft and the layers of sheer fabric for the skirt made it dark enough that people wouldn’t be able to see her ass through it even though it has a leotard type of top to it. Shaking her head at the dress a soft smile tugs at her lips, she knew Kol would give her something like this to wear.

Looking in the mirror ensuring her curls fall perfectly she had to make a good impression because no matter how much Kol bitches about his siblings they mean the world to him. Klaus and Rebekah were usually the stars of his complaints. They were always doing something that was rubbing him up the wrong way and it makes her laugh at how much drama happens within one family. But, as she looked in the mirror at herself thinking about Kol complaining about his family she felt an ache in her chest. She knew what it was straight away… it was loneliness. She didn’t know what it was like to have a family like that. 

Shaking her head she walks away from the mirror and heads to her door, deciding it was now or never. When she got downstairs she saw a town car, laughing to herself as the driver opened the door and helped her in. Of course, Kol would send her a car, he was always complaining about how where she wasn’t safe and just to let him get her a place that was nice and safe it was always an argument and as much as she loved his protective side she didn’t need him to look after her and pay for her. She’d been taking care of herself for a long time now. She doesn’t need his money, she doesn’t want him to think she would just be taking him for granted.

The car pulls up to the Compound and Nikita takes in a deep breath at the amazing building before her and is completely shocked and amazed by it. The driver opens the door and she takes his hand as he helps her out of the car, she slowly makes her way to the door. From outside she could hear the soft sound of the music and also the chatter of the guests and Nikita couldn’t help the nerves that started to rise up in her. The door is opened for her and she gives the server a soft smile before her eyes scan the room and she sees both Davina and Kol smiling up at her and she smiles back at them giving them a small nod. But, before she can move into the room anymore she feels the gentle breeze she knows oh so well.

“Well don’t you brush up nicely?” She smirks at Kol who is by her side in a heartbeat, she is used to his speed. It comes very handily when she has multiple things she needs to be done quickly. Giving her his signature smirk as he looks her up and down. Kol admits to himself she is beautiful, but she would be perfect for Klaus not that he wants Klaus anywhere near Nikita.

“I must say, I have exquisite taste in fashion.” He chuckles and Nikita just shakes her head and starts to walk further into the compound smiling and greeting people she had no idea who they were. Kol keeps a close eye on her knowing better than chasing her and finds Davina.

“You should worry less about her, you know she can handle herself.” Davina chuckles, smiling knowingly at Kol.

“I know. It’s just that she's my best friend and I don’t want to risk losing her.” Kol lets out a deep breath.

“I know baby. But, I’m sure she’ll be able to handle your family… she handles you.” Davina smirks at Kol who laughs and holds Davina closer to him as they watch Nikita make her way around the room.

“She’s just too pure to be touched by this family.” Kol murmurs as he kisses Davina’s head.

Nikita had been walking around the room and had settled near the bar with a drink in her hand and she was just watching the room. Watching the people around her as they interact with one another but also not paying too much attention to anyone to draw attention to herself. But, the Mikaelsons siblings already have her attention, especially when Kol is by her side within seconds of her arrival.

“Hello, who might you be?” A beautiful blonde walked up to Nikita, Nikita couldn’t pinpoint what it was about this woman but there was something familiar about her. Rebekah had noticed Kol and Nikita’s interaction.

“My name is Nikita, I’m a friend of Kol’s.” She held up her hand and the blond shook it with a look of surprise on her face. Rebekah watches the girl closely. She may not be Davina’s biggest fan, but she wasn’t having someone swoop in and ruin the peace the family finally had.

“I’m Rebekah, his sister, I thought he was lying about having a friend,” Rebekah smirks at the girl.

“To be honest, the guy saves you once, you spill coffee on him once or twice. You become friends?” Nikita laughs and Rebekah smiles at the girl. She notices, Nikita’s eyes almost look distant as if she’s recalling a memory. Rebekah can see the sincerity. But frowns, what did she need saving from.

“How did he save you?” Rebekah asked pulling Nikita over to the bar, getting both of them a drink. Rebekah thought that this was going to be an interesting story, maybe it was a rogue vampire or something silly like her tripping and almost getting hit by a car.

“I was walking through the city at night. I had just finished a double shift at the dinner I work at, it had been a long day, classes in the morning and then work. I normally don’t take doubles that would lead to closing hours for some of the bars and I don’t like walking back to my apartment late at night… well, I guess it’s more like early hours of the morning. But, the tips were good so I stayed. A customer had been a little handsy most of the night, clearly drunk. He followed me and before anything could happen Kol swooped in and saved me. Making some sarcastic remark about me owing him a coffee… the same coffee I spilt on him.” Nikita gave Rebekah a sad smile and Kol swooped in his smirk falling slightly at the look on his best friend's face. Rebekah noticed the pause in the story, Nikita had missed some points out but knew better than to push it. Kol knew from the look on Nikita’s face what was wrong.

*9 Months Earlier*

~ Nikita’s POV: ~

It had been a long day and normally I don’t work double shifts especially if I’m already working the evening shift, but the tips were so good, there must have been something happening tonight. The money was so good it meant that it possibly meant that I wouldn’t have to take an extra shift for the rest of the week and possibly month. Uni has been long, finals are coming up in the next month and I just don’t wanna have to work extra if I don’t need to. Allowing to focus more of my time on finals rather than paying bills. So, instead of finishing at the usual 11/12pm, I was finishing up at 4am. Taking a deep breath as I clocked out putting my tips in my bag as I zip up my jacket. I was still dark outside and cold. 

Images of the customer who seemed to act a little familiar with me flashed in my mind, guys slapping my ass as I walked past and their lingering touches. I had never felt threatened or uncomfortable ever at work. But, today I did and no matter how much I complained about working the diner and the hours one thing for sure was the boss took care of his staff no matter what. He may be a hardass about time off, but his employees’ safety is number one. He kicked the guy and his friends out as soon as he saw it happening. She had seen it happen to some of the other girls on this shift and this is always how it is dealt with. But, she has never experienced it herself before and a shiver ran down her spine.

I just needed to get home. Sleep for the next 4 hours before I have to get up and go back to work all day tomorrow, Saturday’s sucked. I hadn’t noticed the person walking behind me I was too lost in my own head trying to figure out what I had to get done the list was extensive, during my breaks I will have to run to the library to pick up some of the textbooks I need and then in other breaks I will have to work on some of my assignments along with the extra credit projects I had taken on. I wanted to take on another class. A language, but they said that my course was already intense and that I had to prove that I could handle the work. So, they piled on the extra credit a mile high. I have the majority done just two more and a couple of edits which is most likely what I’ll be focusing on tomorrow.

When the hand grabbed me, I was so shocked that I didn’t scream. I smelt him before I saw him. The stench of stale alcohol and cigarette smoke filled the air between us, I let out a deafening scream and he only laughed as he started to try and take my coat off. Praying that someone would hear me. I recognised who it was straight away and fear ran through me. I would not allow this to happen to me. So, I fought like my life depended on it, because it did. Before I could hear the ripping of my shirt but before he could rip the whole thing off, he was ripped off me and I let out sobs of relief sliding to the floor as the man let out a shout of pain and then it became quiet almost too quiet. The only thing that could be heard was my sobs.

“Hello Darling, are you okay?” A smooth British accent asked me.

“Thank you.” Was all I could choke out repeatedly between sobs and the next thing I knew I was being pulled into a warm embrace as he held me to him. I didn’t realise it was my hero, so I tried to fight him off until I heard him soothingly shushing me.

“It’s just me. I’m not going to hurt you. You’re safe now.” Kol kept repeating rubbing my back while speaking his soothing words.

“It’s okay, how about I walk you home and you can tell me more about you?” He smiled down at me as he had me still in his arms and I gave him a small nod. He put me on my feet again and that was the beginning of something amazing. He looked down and noticed my ripped jacket and shirt and pulled his jumper off and gave it to me.

Kol introduced himself to me and the conversation flowed easily between us. He talks about his family, by the time we arrived at my apartment it felt right to invite him in for a coffee. Being around Kol felt like being around a friend I’d known my whole life… it just felt right.

~Third Person~

Kol makes his way over to the two at the bar quickly, not happy with the look on Nikita’s face and worried that Rebekah might have said something to offend his best friend. Nikita hadn’t noticed that Kol had arrived next to her and was now glaring at his sister.

“Are you okay? Rebekah wasn’t rude to you was she?” He glared at his sister who was generally surprised by her brother's attitude. This snapped Nikita out of her thoughts and she smiled softly at Kol at how protective he was about her.

“No! No, I was telling her how we met and also how I spilt coffee on you twice.” She smirks at him resting a hand on his arm giving it a soft squeeze. But he could see that she was still a little lost in the memory

“I swear you did it on purpose.” He gave her a slight pout and both Rebekah and Nikita laughed at his response. He knew he had to keep those darker thoughts at bay. He couldn’t help the guilt that seeped in.

“Oh, I did.” She smirked at his look of horror, he knew that she was joking.

“Ouch, my heart.” She laughed at him as he rested his hand on his heart with a look of mock hurt on his face. Kol couldn’t keep straight for long before he broke out in laughter. He couldn’t help it, even Rebekah was smirking at the two of them.

A tall dark-haired man in an expensive suit started to make his way towards us. Kol slightly tensed Nikita noticing. Rebekah smirking at Kol

“Brother, who is our guest?” He spoke formally as he looked Nikita up and down and she moved closer to Kol to avoid the penetrating stare of the stranger. Something about him oozes power and Nikita knew from the suit that it was Elijah.

“Elijah this is Nikita, my best friend, the girl I told you about,” Kol informed his brother resting his arm around Nikita’s waist. Almost defensively making Elijah raise a brow and Rebekah smile. She can’t help but feel just as protective of the girl as Kol.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you. Has she met Niklaus yet?” Elijah smiled softly at her and then his eyes flickered to Kol. From the way he was when Elijah walked over, he would love to know his reaction to Klaus

“No. I’m trying to avoid it. You know what he can be like.” Kol sighed heavily. He knew what might happen and he was apprehensive about it.

“Niklaus?” Nikita asked softly, looking up at Kol noticing the look. The name sounded familiar, but Kol had never mentioned a Niklaus before. Klaus, yes. Niklaus, no.

“I prefer Klaus, Love.” A voice spoke behind her making her jump and spin around and Kol glared at his brother. So this was the other brother. Her head tilts as she takes him in. 

“Nik.” Kol greeted him coldly. Nikita notices Kol's change towards Klaus and shifts uncomfortably, just as he is protective of her, she is the same with him and hates to see him like this.

“Baby brother, who might this be?” Klaus smirked down at the girl who had an arm around his brother's waist. Klaus frowned slightly at the sight of Kols arm around her. For some reason, he didn’t like her hiding from him. But, he saw something shine in her eyes. It looked like defiance.

“My name is Nikita. So, this is Klaus the big bad hybrid then?” Nikita smirks and her head tilts to the side. Kol had told her that he had siblings but she had never met them. She could feel the tension running through Kol’s body. 

“What else has my little brother told you about me?” Klaus was curious about this human she had defiance shining in her eyes and it was something very few people had when dealing with him. He just knew that she would be a hell-raiser. No witch, human, wolf or vampire who had looked at him that way or made him feel this way.

“That you have an awful temper and it sounds to me like you’re a control freak. I’ve also heard you get a little stabby when your siblings annoy you, like to keep them in coffins and cart them around. A little morbid to me… have you ever thought about going to therapy? I think it might help you with your problems.” Nikita smiles sweetly at him, taking her drink and walks away leaving all the originals looking after her like she didn’t just call the most powerful creature in the room mentally unstable… out loud.

“Did she just do that?” Klaus looked at his siblings for clarification that that had just happened. No one spoke to him like that and got away with it, but watching her walk away smiling at the guests and the twinkle in her eye the siblings looked at Klaus and they saw a look of both amusement and anger and they could help but be amused.

The siblings were honestly shocked and speechless at what she had just said, but it wasn’t what she said it was how casually she said it. Kol couldn’t help be a little proud of his best friend. But also incredibly fearful for her life.

She stood with Marcel and Hayley as they talked and laughed. This didn’t sit right with Klaus. 

“What makes you think you can talk to me like that little human?” Klaus spoke softly into Nikita’s ear, leaning in close to her. Marcel and Hayley watch the couple closely. They see the smirk on Nikita’s face. It seems like she enjoys playing with her food just as much as Klaus does.

“Kol would burn everything you love if you hurt me. We both know that. You’d dagger him and know you’d never be able to take it out because he would never forgive you.” He knew she was telling the truth. Kol doesn’t have friends and he hasn’t seen him act like this in a long time. He wasn’t sure he could get away with him killing her or daggering him. But, also Klaus didn’t want to hurt her as much as she pissed him off. She turns and looks at him, not backing down. He can see that fire and notices his siblings listening close to their conversation.

“Why would I care about that?” He plays with a strand of black her curled hair. He was looking deep into her brown eyes that looked like they were laughing at him.

“Because, even under the whole act, all you really care about is your family. You’d never hurt him like that no matter how much it wounds your pride. Now if I was some floozy or whatever you call them in your day… I would’ve been dead a long time ago.” She smirks and they both leaned in closer as they spoke. There was something about her that drew him in this fearlessness, something not even other supernatural creatures have of him. Neither noticing Kol watching them closely smirking at what was happening. The family enjoyed the show.

“You know nothing about me.” Klaus became defensive and the girl in front of him had the audacity to just smirk like she hadn’t just dissected him, her red painted lips pulled into a satisfied grin. He didn’t like how uncomfortable she made him, he turned on his heel and walked to the bar to get a drink. Just standing there watching one another. He hated his family watching with amused looks on their faces, he hated she had the power to make him so uncomfortable.

Kol wrapped his arm around his best friend's waist and let out a heavy sigh as he leaned his head on her shoulder. He couldn’t control the smirk on his lips as he held her close. 

“What’s wrong?” He could hear the laughter in his voice. He's glad one of them could find humour in what was going on. Even though he did it was kinda funny he was very fearful for her life.

“You managed to avoid death twice let's not push it a third time with my brother.” Kol holds her tight; he wasn’t really willing to test her theory on whether his brother would or wouldn’t kill her because Kol is more important to him than he realised. Kol could tell that Klaus likes her, but Kol was still worried. He wasn’t willing to lose his best friend on a possible crush.

“Kol, if you didn’t matter I’m pretty sure the wolf boy over there would have killed you a long time ago. I’m also 100% your brother would raise hell if someone tried to or did kill you.” She shrugs patting his cheek and walks over to the bar where Klaus was stewing at her calling him a wolf boy. She knew he heard and smirked.

“She’s going to be murdered by my brother.” Kol slaps his face.

Kol walks over to Davina who’s with Rebekah, Elijah, Marcel and Hayley who are all looking at the two wondering what is going to happen next and the likelihood of it ending well.

Klaus was watching her every move around his home. How dare a human come into his home and disrespect him! He couldn’t pinpoint what it was about this girl that got so under his skin, something about her made him want to strangle her but also hold her close. Spill his guts about everything and he didn’t understand. He questions why this is happening… some cruel act of fate.

“I’m sorry.” The words surprised him as he looked down at the girl leaning on the bar next to him with bourbon in her hand as she stood next to him watching the people all around them he watched her carefully as she drank. How had he not noticed her approach? How is she human? She must be a witch or something, maybe a siren!

“What?” He was shocked and confused about why she was apologising to him.

“I’m sorry about making you uncomfortable. I can be a little heavy-handed with what I say… I guess it was just how I was brought up.” She sighed, he noticed her tension at this point and took a long drink from her glass and looked up at him.

“You and Kol?” He left the question open for her to answer not sure what he was hoping for her to say. Was he jealous at the fact his brother may have a claim on this girl?

“Friends and nothing else… to be honest, sometimes we act more like siblings. The bickering and the arguing, but it’s nice.” She chuckles softly and Klaus notices her softness.

“What about your family?” Klaus frowned, family, is important. Maybe her family could tell him what she is because she can’t just be human.

“Unimportant.” Her voice was flat and it left Klaus confused. To him family is sacred and to this girl, it wasn’t anything. He notices the knowing look on her face. “I know what you’re thinking.”

“No, you don’t!” Klaus frowned at the girl, he was becoming more and more frustrated at Nikita.

“You’re thinking how I could say that family is unimportant. I know you had hardships with your father, the whole trying to kill you thing and all. I also know you’ve had your disputes with your siblings. Then there's also your mother too. But, your siblings love you, your mother loved you… your father was a piece of shit. You have love, they may piss you off and you may end up putting them in a coffin for a 100 odd years here and there but still, they wake you bicker and argue and yet they still love you and stand by your side no matter what. Always and forever, right?” She looks Klaus in the eye, there’s a flash of something in her eyes and he looks down at her speechless at what she is saying looking back out to the crowd she notices the siblings all looking their way listening into the conversation. “My family isn't like that. There is no love there, only resentment, anger and pain. Maybe at one point, there was love, but not anymore. Mom and Dad divorced when I was younger, Mom blamed me. She took to partying and had a slew of boyfriends and all sorts in the home, I thought my Dad would save me but he never did. I left home and moved in with my Aunt and Uncle, they were nice but had enough of their own problems. Their own heard of children to look after, I was just another burden. I studied and worked hard to get a full-ride here at Tulane University, I bust my ass off in a diner so I can pay my rent and bills. Family is what you make it, blood means little to me. It's people like Kol and a handful of other friends I have that are my family. I’d die for them.”

Klaus was left with nothing to say at her words, there was a deep pain in her heart that made him want to wrap her in his arms and protect her from everyone and there was a burning rage to find everyone who’d wronged her and make them suffer unimaginable pain. Maybe it wasn’t so wrong to care about her.

It had been a long evening and Nikita was beginning to feel it, so she looked for Kol to say goodbye knowing that there will still be a car waiting to take her home, but before she could leave Klaus walked in her path.

“Where are you going Love?” Klaus watches her closely and when he sees her sigh he truly sees how tired she is.

“I think it’s time for me to go home, I was just going to say goodbye to your brother… considering he was the one who invited me,” Nikita says patting his chest as she walked around him, she didn’t have the energy to come up with a witty line.

“Are you okay?” Klaus frowns walking next to her.

“Nothing a little sleep won’t fix.” Nikita smiles up at him before spotting Kol and walking quickly over to him, leaving Klaus to look after her.

“I’m going to get going.” Nikita hugs Kol who holds her tightly.

“I’ll come with you,” Kol says firmly, but he’s watching Klaus not looking at her. Nikita frowns before looking over her shoulder to see who he’s looking at and she snorts shaking her head.

“Fine… whatever.” Nikita rolls her eyes not really bothered.

The car ride was silent and Nikita leaned against Kol’s shoulder allowing her body to relax a little, she hadn’t realised how exhausted her body was till this moment right here.

“I think you made an impression on my family,” Kol spoke walking up to her door and pulled her into one more hug.

“I had fun. I’m sorry if I embarrassed you or anything.” Nikita leans onto Kol’s shoulder.

“No, you did me proud like you always do.” He smirks at her.

“Go back to Davina and tell her to thank you for ensuring I got home.” Nikita laughs, walking in before she can hear his response.

It had been a few weeks since the ball and Kol had been keeping as much information about Nikita to himself as possible. He would disappear and no one would be able to contact him and so they decided enough was enough and trapped him so that he would have to tell them everything. So here they are walking into the Dinner and sitting in a booth in Nikita’s section.

“Why do you all insist on coming with me?” Kol sighed as he waited for her to come out from the kitchen where Nikita was talking to one of the chiefs. When she backed out of the kitchen they all could hear her laughing with arms filled with plates of food as she swept around the room surviving hungry dinners. Klaus has never seen her like this and is amazed. She’s in her element and Kol can’t help but smile at the girl he has watched grow for the last year. Her eyes landed on the Mikaelson family, they stuck out like a sore thumb and she couldn’t help the soft chuckle that passed her lips. She got a tray and got four mugs and a pot of coffee, cream and sugar. Making her way through the tables. She’s in her element, but the thought of her being able to fit in anywhere she wants.

“Coffee?” She smiles at them as she puts a cup in front of Kol without getting his answer, they all notice this with raised brows. Both Elijah and Rebekah nod in response and Klaus can’t help but smile at her.

“Yes please, Love.” Klaus leans on the table to watch her closely and a light blush covers her cheeks. He couldn’t help the smirk on his lips.

Kol had been watching Klaus closely over the last couple of weeks since the ball and had noticed Klaus smiling more and also looking at his phone and disappearing more. He had an idea why.

“Nikita, will you come and sit with us?” Elijah asked with a soft smile on his face.

“I don’t know if I can.” She looked back at her Boss, but before she could look away and she saw Kol next to him. Her Boss walks over.

“Hey darling, you’re finished for the day.” He smiled at her before patting her on the shoulder and going back to work.

“Kol! What have I told you about compelling my boss?” Nikita glared at her best friend.

“That I’m not to do it without your permission, but we both know you wanted to join us and he would’ve said no.” Kol pouted.

“Kol, that’s beside the point and you know it. ‘I want never gets!’ It’s the way of life!” Nikita huffed walking away.

“Where are you going, young lady?” Kol stands in front of her with his hands on his hips as the siblings watch the scene with amused smiles on their faces. 

“I’m going to change out of my uniform. Is that alright Dad?” The sarcasm dripped from her voice as she barged past Kol heading to the lockers. Kol leans his head back and walks back to his siblings.

“Does she really hate it when you compel her boss?” Rebekah was intrigued by it all, anyone else would be happy that they didn’t have to work. But you, you were pissed.

“She’s strong-willed. She doesn’t like me using it because she feels like she is using me for her own personal gain… that she’s being selfish.” Kol sighs dropping in the seat next to Elijah.

“But, she isn't. You decided to do it.” Klaus was confused.

“But, that doesn’t matter to her, because she is still reaping the benefits. Trust me it’s a never-ending argument between the two of us.” Kol shakes his head, thinking about all the disagreements they’ve had over him compelling someone. 

They all see Nikita walking back over to their table, she’s in a pair of black jeans and a dark red long-sleeved shirt. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Nikita looked at them, her head tilted to the side and her eyes focusing mainly on Kol. There was something dark in her eyes.

“How pretty you are.” Kol smiles at her and she just shakes her head.

“Try again, Mikaelson.” She stands there staring him down and all Klaus can do is stare in amazement. No one would stand up to any of them all would be too scared of the consequences but here she is a human staring down one of the Originals like it was nothing.

“We were talking about your aversion to compulsion.” Klaus says smirking at her, Nikita’s head snapped in his direction and she glared daggers at him. Kol couldn’t help but watch the interaction with fascination, there was something in her eyes when she was looking at him and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

~Flashback of the siblings teasing Klaus~

“Who would have thought that the great Niklaus would fall in love.” Rebekah teased her brother.

“I have not fallen in love,” Klaus mutters.

“Who is it Nik?” Kol smirks.

“I guess we should thank Kol.” Elijah smiled teasingly at his youngest brother.

“Why?” Kol was confused.

“Because you introduced them,” Rebekah smirks.

“I haven’t… NO! Not Nikita!” Kol glared at Klaus.

“I’m not in love with her!” Klaus says in frustration.

“You stay away from her,” Kol warned his brother. Klaus could see the glare in his eyes and knew Kol wasn’t joking around.

“I thought they were perfect.” Rebekah sighs dropping into the chair next to Elijah.

“Same, the way she stood up to him… fearless.” Elijah nods in agreement with a thoughtful look on her face.

“They would make a good couple.” Rebekah sighs, looking Klaus up and down imagining it.

“King and Queen. I can imagine her temper is just as bad as his.” Elijah smirks.

“The tongue lashing she could give him.” Rebekah snorts.

“Let’s not forget my dear friend did tell our brother he needed to go to therapy,” Kol smirks at Klaus who was getting more and more frustrated.

“What do you want?” Klaus groaned in annoyance at the whole thing.

“Admit you like her!” Rebekah leaned in excitedly.

“She’s interesting. She’s annoying. I don’t like her. Hell I don’t even know her.” Klaus stormed out the room and the siblings laughed at his annoyance. They follow after him to continue the teasing and as much as it annoys Kol that his brother likes his best friend, it was very amusing to watch as Klaus became more and more frustrated and uncomfortable.

~Flashbacks of Klaus & Y/N hanging out~

Klaus was watching her study, there was something so mesmerising about it. Her black hair piled on the top of her head in a messy bun, with strands falling around her face. A pen resting between her soft lips that Klaus can’t help but stare at wondering if they are as soft as they look. Her warm chocolate eyes focused on her work. Klaus couldn’t deny he was attracted to her and the more time he spent with her the more and more he fell… the only problem was he didn’t know how she felt.

“So tell me something.” Nikita looked at him, taking him by surprise.

“What do you mean?” He was confused.

“Tell me anything… about you, or your family.” She smiled at him softly putting her pen down and drawing her knee up against her chest. They had been sitting on her bed, she had promised a movie when she finished the last chapter of her text. But the truth was she couldn’t focus with him there watching her, couldn’t focus on anything other than the warmth she could feel coming from his body, couldn’t focus on the words on the page because all she could focus on was his smell… the smell of the forest; fresh pine, damp soil like it had just rained. A smell she found comfort in.

“You know all there is to know about me.” Klaus smiles as he leans back against her headboard.

“Surprisingly, I don’t. Kol doesn’t like to talk about you much… unless he’s complaining. How did you break the curse?” This was something that had always intrigued her, the fact he was both Werewolf and Vampire. She knew his mother had an affair and that a curse was placed on him. But, Kol was always very evasive about how Klaus broke it.

“I… I don’t think I should tell you.” Klaus looked away and Nikita could see the shame in his eyes and something else… was that fear.

“Nik. I’m assuming a sacrifice had to be made. Kol mentioned the Sun and the Moon curse and google came up with all sorts of answers to that… but that curse was about you right?” She leans over resting her hand on his cheek. She had put it together on her own with the small bits of information that Kol had given her.

“You’re smarter than your own good.” Klaus chuckles softly resting his hand over hers, leaning into her touch. He turns his head a little so he can place a soft kiss onto the palm of her hand and she shifts a little closer to him.

“So, what I’ve gathered is you needed the moonstone, a vampire, a werewolf and a witch.” Nikita looks at him.

“There is also the doppelganger needed and the ritual can only happen at the birthplace of the doppelganger.” Klaus explains.

“Is that all I’m going to get?” Nikita smirks at him.

“Yes Love, that’s all I’m going to tell you. But, how did you figure out that The Sun and The Moon Curse was about me,” Klaus was curious, they were both leaning in close, not bothered by the closeness or intimacy.

“I wouldn’t have figured it out if Kol hadn’t told me what you were. I would have thought they were just a curse about Vampire’s being able to walk in the sun and Werewolf’s not having to turn at a full moon. But, I then thought if I was you and I wanted to break a curse my mother put on me, but I needed a moonstone and a doppelganger… I’d create a fake legend. Have the warring species looking for the same thing, you are sure to find it quicker.” Nikita leaned back smirking and Klaus couldn’t help but smile at her.

“And that is exactly what Elijah and I did.” Klaus returns to his position against the headboard and watches Y/N put all her books away and comes to sit next to him leaning in close. He smirks, “done already?”

“Can’t seem to focus.” Nikita rests her head on Klaus’ shoulder and flicks on the TV. Neither one paid attention to what was playing as they were too busy focusing on one another.

Nikita draped her legs over Klaus curling into his side as he rested one hand on her lower back and the other on her thigh squeezing it softly making her squirm closer to him. She was practically sitting on his lap but he didn’t mind. Klaus’ hand mindlessly ran up and down her spine and her hands would draw patterns on his chest while the other played with his hair. Neither looked at one another, but neither of them paid attention to what was on the screen. They looked up at each other and before either of them could figure out what was happening they were kissing.

They moved closer together, Nikita straddling Klaus’ lap and him resting his hands on her thighs. He slowly slipped his hands higher as their make-out session got more heated. One of his hands slipping up to her waist pulling her in will the other landed on her ass squeezing it softly and a soft moan slips from her lips as she grinds down on him. Klaus groans at the action pulling away softly and she bites and softly nibbles on his lower lips continuing her movements. His hands move to her hips quickly stopping her movements and she lets out a whine.

“I want to do this right. I want to take you on a date.” Klaus breaths out, speaking against her lips and she can’t help the small smile forming on her lips. She leans in and this time kisses him softly, her tongue trails along his lower lips as she pulls away sitting on his thighs.

“Fine.” She sighs in defeat knowing she wasn’t going to win against his strength and control. He smirks at her and places a soft kiss on her lips before wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

Klaus was nervous about this, why was he so nervous?

This was their first official date, after bickering with Kol for who knows how long getting him to agree that it was perfectly fine for him to date her. He’d been sneaking off to see her when she was at work and he knew that Kol was with Davina, he would go to the library and sit and watch her work or maybe even back to her studio apartment and films. This was no easy feat with the amount of time she spent with Kol, also Rebekah stealing her away. It was so mundane… it was so human and he loved it. No, he lived for it. It was those moments that he felt most alive… when he felt the most human and that was the feeling he always wanted to keep. It was strange to him he thought the power and control made him feel alive but it was this siren.

He had never been scared about anything but this was something he was petrified about. He was scared that she would see him for the monster that he is and run and never look back. Klaus may be selfish when it comes to you but if you wanted to leave he’d let you go.

The date that Klaus had planned was extravagant. He had booked a whole restaurant for just the two of them, with the best chefs and music. There were roses, chocolates and champagne everywhere Nikita looked and she couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. But, it felt like it was missing something and she couldn’t figure it out. This was more than a dream come true, but still, there was something about the whole thing that just didn’t seem to sit right in her chest and she couldn’t pinpoint it. They laughed, drank and ate.

“Can we go for a walk?” Nikita looked at Klaus who was beaming at her, “what?” She laughed.

“I was going to ask if you wanted to walk through the Quarter with me.” Klaus laughs, as he stands next to her holding his hand out for her to take and she smiles at him.

As they walked through the Quarter music drew their attention and Nikita dragged Klaus to go and listen with her. His arms wrapping around her waist and they swayed together listening and enjoying it. Klaus decided at that moment he wanted to dance and so they did, they twirled and danced around the square, made onlookers smile and the band continued to play and Nikita and Klaus’ laughter could be heard all around. It was a moment so pure. This was what was missing… this was perfect, they both thought to themselves smiling down at one another. When they finally stopped dancing standing to the side to admire an artist at work something hit Nikita a thought she had never had before.

“Nik, you know you don’t need to impress me with all these fancy dates, dress and jewels, right?” She looked at him with her chocolate eyes and he melted just staring into her eyes confused.

“What do you mean?” Klaus tilted his head frowning slightly and it made a smile tug at the corner of her lips. ‘He doesn’t see it,’ is the only thing she can think at that moment.

“Your money, as great as it is, isn’t the reason I’m with you. I love the gifts, but what I love more and I know this is insane and happening so fast. I love you… the you I see when you come to my work just to watch me, the you that sits there with me in the library telling me the history books have it wrong or is constantly asking me questions about what I’m doing, the you that curls up on my bed with me and watch trashy TV or a film, the you that is content to sit there and draw me as I read. I love you for this.” She rests her hand on his heart and smiles softly at him and he feels something inside him warm at her words. “I don’t need the fancy stuff. Yes, it is nice now and then, but what I want is the real moments we have… the mundane and unexpected. Like dancing to the street performers playing, like when you saw me looking at a flower so you bought it for me just to put it in my hair, like the surprise tickle attack or you giving me a foot rub.”

“You love me?” Klaus was shocked, he never thought anyone would love him for all the things that she had just said to him.

“Klaus, I don’t think love can even begin to cover how I feel about you.” Nikita smiles at him and he smiles down at her. His smile was broad and filled with so much joy and happiness, he was beaming like he had been given the best news in the world.

“In all my years walking this earth I have never met anyone that has made me feel like you have. I’ve met a lot of people, I’ve known a lot of people and they have all treated me the same way… with fear and/or hatred. But you, a little human girl has no fear to tell me how it is. Drives me insane! But, it makes me feel more alive… more human than I have ever. I don’t know the last time someone told me they loved me, some who looked me in the eye and said all the things they loved. When people see me they see money and power, but you… you see everything else. You see every flaw and you never judge me, you remind me it’s okay not to be perfect.” Klaus held Nikita’s face in his hands and their lips were so close she could feel his lips against hers as he spoke.

They arrived back at the compound quickly. The kiss was soft, but soon became something hungry.

The Mikaelson compound was empty for a change; all his siblings had other things to attend to and he was 100% grateful to that.

Klaus had Nikita against the wall pinning her and kissing her deeply, she let out a soft moan and she could feel him smirking at her response to him. She ran her hands in his hair and tugged it causing him to groan into her mouth and she smirked back at him. He sped them to his room and threw her softly onto his bed. A slight giggle left her as she bounced and he couldn’t help the smile at the sound. He hovered over her again and they began kissing again but this time it was slower again as their hands explored each other's bodies.

Klaus flipped them so she was straddling his thighs grinding her down onto him a soft groan falling from both their lips her head was leaning back and he took the opportunity to kiss down her neck grazing her throat with his teeth and she ground down hard on him. He leaned back pulling her dress over her head as she worked his shirt off quickly leaning down to kiss his neck as she did so her hands went from his chest to his hair and then to his back where she clawed her nails down.

The house was filled with their moans and neither of them noticed when Kol came home, he’d forgotten something. He was horrified by the sounds he heard and left before he could collect what he needed.

The next day Nikita was blissfully sore and as she collected Klaus’ shirt from the night before and her underwear, she decided she would head down and make her and Klaus some breakfast. What she wasn’t expecting was to be greeted by his siblings.

“Hi.” Nikita smiles awkwardly and gives them a small wave.

“Hello.” Rebekah smirks leaning in.

“Good morning, good night last night?” Elijah’s eyes flicked up from his paper and he was smiling at her, his eyes flicking behind her.

“Perfect, brother.” Klaus answers for her. Wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her neck, Nikita didn’t think much leaning her head to the side letting out a sigh.

“Please my eyes!” Kol groaned in pain. Nikita’s head snapped back up and she blushed. Looking down at her heads as Klaus pulled her closer and Elijah and Rebekah giggled.

“Anyone want pancakes?” Nikita moved quickly getting everything she needed, it wasn’t the first time she had stayed at the Mikaelson’s.

“Me!” Rebekah cheered and Elijah nodded along with her.

“Okay… cool… pancakes.” Nikita spoke nodding pretending that whatever just happened never happened. She could feel all of their eyes on her.

“I came home last night.” Kol broke the silence and Nikita was there frozen, she slowly turned and looked at her best friend horrified.

“Wha- W-w-when?” Nikita stuttered, her face was tomato red.

“You guys were already home.” Kol couldn’t look his friend in the eye.

“NO!” Nikita looked horrified. Burying her face into Klaus’ chest.

“I’m going to have to bleach my mind.” Kol glares at Klaus, who is just smirking.

“I’m going to bury myself alive somewhere,” Nikita mutters leaving the room quickly, the sounds of laughter following her as she hides in Klaus’ bed. Before she fell asleep she felt Klaus’s arms wrap around her and she turned into his chest burrowing in close and he kissed the top of her head.

“Always and Forever Little Love.” Klaus spokes softly and Nikita smiled as she fell to sleep.

[strawberriestyles]

Chapter 22

(Banner made by sweet sunshine @harry-nofookingway-styles​)

Harry X OFC (AU)

Sequel to Brutality: In which Melody and Harry must relearn how to navigate one another among a flurry of changes.

Read previous parts here.

Harry didn’t think he wanted Melody behind the wheel when she seemed so upset, but she insisted. Only minutes after her last words with her father, Harry was packing their suitcases into the running car. He hadn’t even buckled his seatbelt before she was backing out of the driveway. Neither of them spoke until they reached the highway, and when Melody’s phone rang, both of them jumped.

“Fuck,” she muttered, trying to slow her racing pulse. “It should be in the front pocket of my suitcase.”

Harry unbuckled his seatbelt and swung around, reaching for her luggage. He made quick work of the zipper, fishing out her phone and turning back around in his seat. He sighed when he saw the screen.

“What?” Melody asked.

“‘S your mum.”

She shook her head slowly, biting into the corner of her lip. “Don’t answer it.”

“Wasn’ plannin’ on it,” Harry muttered, dropping the phone into a cupholder as it stopped ringing. He buckled himself back in and hesitated before turning down the volume on the radio. “So,” he began, “CJ.”

Melody exhaled between her teeth. “Do we have to do this?”

“How many times have yeh forced me to talk about shit I didn’ wanna talk about?”

She chewed on her lip again, glancing over her shoulder to switch lanes. Harry waited for her to speak, but she only shifted beneath his gaze.

“Melody.”

She groaned and mumbled, “I dated him in high school.”

Harry nodded. He’d been able to sort that much out for himself and he was trying not to be bothered. If CJ was going to show up at this party, couldn’t she have warned him? “Yeh loved him?” he asked instead. He wanted to swallow the words as soon as he spoke them. They sounded bitter and jealous.

“No.” Melody glanced briefly at him, shaking her head fervently. “No, I didn’t. I thought I did, but I was sixteen. He was my first serious boyfriend.”

Harry relaxed in his seat, peeling back the collar of his shirt. He wished he’d taken the time to change before they had rushed out of the house.

“Why’d yeh break up?”

Melody shifted her hands, carefully adjusting her swelling knuckles. “When we started looking into college, he wanted me to go to school with him. And he thought it was funny that I wanted to write. It was annoying. So, I dumped him.”

“And tha’s it?”

She frowned, checking the road around her, switching lanes again. “What do you mean? What else would there be?”

“Well, I dunno.” Harry shrugged. “But whatever just happened felt more personal than just an old relationship.”

“He was my first time,” Melody said, peering at him uncomfortably. “Is that what you wanna know?”

Harry groaned, pressing his palms to his forehead. He wished he could push those words right back out of his skull. “Jesus Christ, Melody,” he muttered. “No. No.”

“I’m sorry.” She pulled her right hand into her lap. Stretching her fingers around the wheel was growing increasingly uncomfortable. “Harry, his family is rich and he’s an asshole, okay?” she said. “He was an asshole when I dated him.”

“Sure know how to pick ‘em,” Harry muttered, dropping his hands. He still hadn’t forgotten about Cooper either, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt like just another bad choice.

“Don’t.” Melody’s nose wrinkled as she frowned, her teeth back to worrying at her lip. Harry wondered how she hadn’t managed to bite through the skin yet. “Don’t do that.”

The voice of a radio host carried through the speakers as the song ended. Harry reached to turn the volume down further, but ended up clicking the radio off completely. The was nothing but the subtle hum of the engine, the sound of the car’s tires on the road. “Why’d yeh hit him?“

Melody’s lips parted, her face pinched in confusion. “What do you mean, why?” She looked over at him, too long for comfort when they were moving at such a high speed. “Harry, if someone had said something like that about me, I know for a fact that you wouldn’t think twice before swinging. You think I’m not gonna do the same thing?”

He swallowed, unnerved again by how easily she could predict his actions. If CJ had insulted her, he would have had a lot more to deal with than a bloody lip, but that was beside the point. “I mean,” he said softly, “was it because he was talkin’ shit to me? Or was it because yeh were embarrassed?”

Melody’s breath left her in a gust, as if she’d taken a blow to the stomach. She blinked rapidly into the sunlight reflecting off the car in front of them. “Embarrassed?” she murmured, trying to find sense in the word on her tongue. “You think I’m embarrassed of you?”

The seconds ticked by as she waited for him to deny it. But there wasn’t even music to fill the emptiness, the lack of words.

“Harry.” She huffed through her nose, trying to keep the overwhelming frustration out of her voice when she spoke to him. “God, you are not hearing me. I love you. I tell you that every day. There’s nothing about you for me to be embarrassed by.”

The space between them fell silent again. There was tension here and Melody didn’t understand why, when all she’d done was stick up for him. It was the exact same thing that he’d done for her so many times—with Cooper, with Brian all those months ago, with the random guy at Brute’s on New Year’s Eve. Could he not see that? Could he not understand her motivations as easily as she could sort through his?

“Can you say something?” she whispered, her chest aching in his prolonged silence. “Are you listening?”

“Yes.” He rested his head back against his seat, letting his eyes fall closed. This weekend felt like the longest weekend of his life. “Yes, Mel. I hear it.”

Melody reached over to turn the radio back on when it seemed that the conversation was over. Her phone rang again, but she rejected the call when she saw that it was her mom. Harry, despite the noise, could hear Melody’s breathing shift, air lodging in her throat, shaking as she exhaled through her nose. He peeled his eyes open to look at her and the sight of tears on her cheek knocked the breath from his lungs.

“I don’ understand why yeh’re cryin’ right now,” he whispered.

She swiped at the water trailing down her face, sighing. She didn’t want to be crying. But the events of the past hour had begun to catch up with her. “Because I didn’t want this fucking trip to end like this,” she said. “I kept trying to convince you that everything would be fine and then my dad kind of just kicked me out. Not that I wanted to be there in the first place, but—it’s fucked up. And I didn’t want to see CJ. And because I hit him now my parents have a bad impression of you. God, I’m sorry.”

Harry shook his head, watching her catch her wobbling lip in her teeth again as she finished speaking. “Melody, pull over.”

“What?”

“Yeh’re fuckin’ cryin’ on a four-lane highway,” he said. “Take the next exit. I’ll drive.”

Melody didn’t argue. Lifting her shoulder up to dry her cheek, she checked the next lane, shifting over only a few moments before another exit ramp appeared. They pulled into the empty lot of a gas station just off the exit, wasting no time in rounding the front of the car to switch seats. Melody pulled down the visor, looking at her reflection as she wiped mascara from beneath her eyes. Harry was still adjusting his seat when she spoke again.

“Harry?” she asked in her quiet, gravelly voice—the way she sounded when she was still choked with tears. It was a voice he knew better than he would have liked.

“What?”

“What CJ said about you—” She flipped the visor back up and looked out her window, busying her hands with the hem of her dress. “You know I don’t think that, right?”

Harry buckled his seatbelt, shifting the car into drive and pulling back onto the street, headed for the highway again. “Yeah.” He did know that. She didn’t think anything like that. Somehow, for reasons he didn’t understand, Melody seemed to find more to him than anyone else. But CJ and her parents—even Bea, in the beginning—saw their relationship differently. He was reminded of the way Melody’s classmates had watched him when he was leaving the art gallery, after he’d threatened Cooper, and he wondered how often people silently thought what CJ had actually had the nerve to say aloud.

“He doesn’t know you,” she continued. Harry had almost forgotten she was talking. “And my parents don’t know you. I think—”

“Melody, stop,” he snapped. There was a pause while he took a moment to reel himself back in, to stamp down his tone. He hadn’t meant to spit his words so fiercely. “I don’ need yeh to fuckin’ coddle me. Okay?”

He could feel her eyes on him as they merged back into traffic, but he didn’t look at her. “What?”

“You act like that little shit is gonna send me spiralin’ or somethin’. ‘M not havin’ a breakdown. ‘M fuckin’ fine. Stop.”

Melody watched Harry’s jaw lock as he finished speaking, like he was waiting for her to argue with him. She felt herself deflate. There wasn’t any energy left in her to carry an argument, and there wasn’t really anything to argue about in the first place. She’d only been trying to check where his head was at, and if he didn’t want reassurance, then she would leave him be.

“Okay,” she said softly, nodding. “I’m sorry.” Swallowing around the thick feeling in her throat, she tipped her head back against the headrest and tried to let her whirring mind rest for a moment.

***

When Harry pulled up to the curb in front of Melody’s apartment, he found her asleep in the passenger seat, head propped against the door. Strands of hair were stuck to her cheek, a bit of dried mascara smudging her jaw. He reached for her thigh, shaking her gently, and she woke with a start. She blinked at him in a daze.

“We’re here,” he murmured, cutting the engine. He watched her shift as she woke up, rubbing her eyes before remembering that she’d been wearing makeup, then trying to clean the smears from her skin. He didn’t know what he was waiting for—perhaps another question, more talking—but she got out of the car without a word, tucking her phone back into her suitcase and dragging it from the back seat.

The trip up to the apartment was just as silent. Melody checked the door, then fished for her keys. When they stepped inside, there were no lights on, and the clouds outside set the living room in shadows.

Melody lingered in the kitchen while Harry dragged his things into the bedroom. She heard him rifling through his bag, slamming drawers as he put away clothes. The noise seemed to split whatever tension had been lingering between them.

“Mel!” Harry called. “Where the fuck did I put my phone?”

Melody sighed, letting her bag slide away from her and collapse to the floor. She opened her mouth to tell him that she didn’t know, but before she could speak a hand clamped down over the lower half of her face, pulling her backwards so roughly that her ankle twisted.

A sharp bubble of panic expanded in her gut, twisting her insides. She scrambled to find purchase on the floor, grasping the wrist at her throat. She knew who it was before he spoke, but the whispered “Shh” at her ear still sent an agonizing chill down her spin. Hairs rose along the back of her neck.

“C’mon,” said Harry with a groan from the bedroom. “Yeh’re ignorin’ me? ‘M sor—”

He froze at the doorway, a sweatshirt dangling from one hand. His jaw tightened and he took two heavy steps forward before freezing again, breath held in his lungs.

“What’re yeh wearin’?” Colton asked with a snort. His hand slid down to Melody’s shoulder, forearm tight across her chest. She could hear the smile in his voice and, against her back, she could feel him breathing. It made her stomach churn again.

“What d’yeh want?” Harry growled.

“Just to chat.” Colton’s grip tightened as Harry took another step forward. “Stay where yeh are for now.”

It was then that Melody felt the kiss of cold metal at the side of her neck, just below her ear. She lurched away from it, but Colton yanked her even closer.

“Melody,” Harry said, his voice urgent, yet somehow controlled. “Yeh’re okay. ‘S okay. Mel, look at me.”

Her eyes, wide and panicked and already wet with pooling tears, found his. She felt more caged than ever before, although Colton’s arm loosened around her neck, and his fingers were curled into her dress, not even touching her skin. His forearm might as well have been crushing her throat.

“‘M not gonna let him hurt yeh,” Harry murmured. “I promise.”

“C’mon, mate. Yeh can’ promise her that.” Colton lifted Melody off her feet as she tried to pull away from him again, tearing a strangled gasp from her throat, swinging her right back in front of him. “Can’ even protect yourself, can yeh?”

Melody had prepared for this. When she’d first started training with Sean, she’d been more concerned with protecting herself than with anything else. He’d drilled into her mind so many different ways to break out of a grip like this, but now that it was actually happening, she felt like her mind had emptied, clean as a blank sheet of paper, the unused canvases sitting in her studio. And the harder she tried to remember what she knew, the more panicked she became.

Melody’s next breath caught audibly in her throat and Harry took a step forward before he could think about it. Colton clicked his tongue. Melody’s fingers tightened around his arm as it pressed into her collar. She choked on a ragged sob.

“Told yeh not to move, Haz,” Colton reminded him.

Harry froze, but barely spared a glance. His gaze remained fixed on Melody’s face. “Okay,” he said, drawing in a deep breath. “Okay, yeh wanna talk? Let’s talk. What d’yeh wanna talk about?”

“Where yeh been?” Colton asked. It was strange how much his voice dripped with the sound of Harry’s. But Harry’s calmed Melody, and this varying cadence only made bile rise in her throat. “Been hangin’ around for a couple days and only saw a couple other girls. Thought I had the wrong place.”

“We went to stay with Melody’s parents,” Harry answered.

“Yeah? That why yeh’re all dressed up?” The sneer in his voice was almost palpable. “They like you?”

“No.”

Colton chuckled into Melody’s ear and leaned forward to get a clearer view of her profile. “Yeah, I didn’ think they would. We’re a bit much, huh?”

Melody trembled as Colton’s face leaked into her periphery. Her muscles seized, tight and useless, and when the tip of the knife slipped across her skin, breaking the surface, she grew hot and dizzy. Her feet slipped.

Harry took one faltering step forward.

“Just breathe, Melody. No, no, don’ look at him,” he rushed as she twitched in Colton’s hold. Harry shook his head quickly and patted his chest. “Look at me. Keep watchin’ me. We’re both gonna be just fine, baby.”

“Christ,” Colton said, shaking his head in disbelief, “she’s got yeh absolutely whipped, hasn’ she?”

Harry’s eyes narrowed as they met Colton’s. “Have yeh been fuckin’ followin’ her?”

“Me? You trail after her like a lost fuckin’ puppy, mate.”

“‘M not stalking anybody, Colton.”

Colton rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Harry. Somehow I thought she’d put up more of a fight than this. A lot less scarier out of a ring, huh?”

“If yeh want a fight, ‘m right here. Just let her go.”

Melody was trying to keep from holding her breath, but inhaling took effort. The spell of dizziness hadn’t yet faded. She couldn’t remember ever needing space and air more in her life. “Harry,” she managed to mumble, and his eyes snapped back to her face.

“Tha’s right. ‘M right here,” he said, his voice firm. She looked on the verge of passing out. “Not gonna let anythin’ happen to yeh, Mel.”

“Okay, tha’s enough,” Colton snapped, standing upright. He took a step backward, dragging Melody with him. “Melody here is gonna come with me, actually.” He grinned and the stretch of his jaw settled his chin into the top of her hair.

“No.” Harry took a measured step forward, lifting his hands out, and he found them shaking.

Melody could tell he was trying to stay calm for her, but that hint of panic that widened his eyes broke something deep within her. She shrieked. The sound left her throat raw and when Colton’s arm pressed down on her neck, she fell into hysterical, flowing tears.

“Stop!” Harry shouted. He looked fully at Colton for the first time, his glare murderous, and his outstretched hands closed into fists. “Colton, if yeh don’ get your fuckin’ hands off of her... Hurt her again and it’ll be the last thing yeh do. I swear to fuckin’ God.”

“What’re yeh gonna do? Glare at me to death?”

“Let her go!”

“Nah.”

Harry, helpless, could think of nothing else but to stall him. “What d’yeh even want with her?”

Colton’s wicked grin faded. “Harry, d’yeh know what ‘s like to be a wanted criminal? Anythin’ you’ve done has been covered up. Yeh’re protected by the cops. Me? They found me I would’ve been locked up. And ‘m not gettin’ locked up. So, ‘m just gonna take your girl as payment for the worst year of my life.”

“Worst year of your life?” Harry scoffed. “You fuckin’ shot me. In the head.”

“Oh, like yeh weren’ gonna shoot me. Yeh’re fine now, anyway. No harm done.”

“‘M fine?” Harry demanded. “Fuck off.” His eyes flickered back to Melody, his anger softening as a newfound desperation climbed up his throat. “Let her go. Please.”

“Jesus Christ, are yeh really gonna beg me?”

The sound of sirens split through the night, so distant that Melody thought she might have imagined it. Harry glanced at the open apartment door. Colton fell silent, stiff at Melody’s back. “When the fuck did yeh call the cops?”

“I didn’,” Harry hissed. His eyes flitted back and forth between Colton and Melody, trying to find a way he could separate them without her getting hurt. “I didn’ call anyone.”

“Well,” Colton murmured, “‘s time for us to leave.” He drew Melody toward the hall and she dug her nails into his arm.

“Colton!” Harry yelled. He chanced a few steps forward before restraining himself. “Leave her here. Yeh’re not gonna get very far draggin’ her around.”

“As if yeh want me to—”

Melody fell, at first only because she was dizzy, but soon with purpose as she began to slip beneath Colton’s arm in his distraction. She felt the tip of his knife slice her neck before she reached the floor, and then the blade went skittering across the floorboards. Everything seemed to erupt. Harry dove and Colton met him in the air, slamming a fist into Harry’s jaw. They rolled until Harry sat on Colton’s stomach. Melody watched punches fall like hail. Blood spilled around them. It felt like a film reel.

A hand shot across the floor for the knife and it whipped through the air. The butt of the handle smashed into the side of Harry’s head, throwing him from atop Colton, who scrambled toward the door on his hands and knees, blood pouring from his nose.

Melody heard footsteps pounding down the stairwell after he disappeared. The sirens were so much closer, now. But it felt like there was cotton in her ears, a layer detaching her from her surroundings.

“Melody.” Harry sat up, a hand pressed to his head, wincing. “C’mere, baby. He’s gone.”

“Oh, my God.” Bea had appeared in the doorway to her room at the sound of Colton fleeing. “Are you okay? Melody? You guys are okay?”

Harry nodded quickly, dismissively. “You called?”

“Yeah, I called.” Her eyes swept the kitchen, lingering on the spray of blood that surrounded Harry like a salt circle. “Is she okay?” she repeated, nodding to Melody, who still hadn’t moved.

Harry nodded, wincing again as the tender spot on his scalp throbbed. He shuffled across the floor toward Melody as Bea rushed toward the apartment door, clicking the locks into place.

“Okay?” Harry whispered. He let go of his head, pulling Melody toward him when he reached her, feeling her shake beneath his hands. “I’ve got yeh. Tell me yeh’re okay, baby.”

Melody wasn’t processing a word he was speaking to her. “I’m sorry,” she was chanting beneath her breath. It seemed to be all that she could get out. “I’m sorry, sorry.” Her mind felt like it was lagging by entire minutes. She had trouble making sense of Bea’s presence, that she’d been in the apartment the whole time, that she had called the police.

It took Harry a minute to decipher her mumbling. “Why the fuck are yeh apologizin’ to me, Mel?”

“I clammed up,” she stammered out. “Sean taught me to—”

“No. No, ‘s not the same as real life, love. Not when yeh’re face to face with somethin’ that scares yeh like that. Sean will be damn proud of you.” He pulled her even closer, his voice quiet. “I am so proud of you. Yeh’re fuckin’ incredible.”

A fresh wave of tears welled up along her lashes. Harry grasped her face, thumbing strands of hair from her cheeks. His eyes roamed her features and then he hissed, clapping a hand to the side of her neck. “Fuck’s sake, yeh’re bleedin’.”

“I’m—I’m okay.” She inhaled, shaky, and it felt like the first breath she’d ever taken. “Are you okay?”

“Mel,” he said, exasperated, “‘m fine.”

Melody swiped at her eyes and reached for Harry’s chin. His lip was bleeding. “He hit you.”

“‘M used to gettin’ hit, love.”

“But your head,” she pressed.

“It hurts, but ‘s not the worst ‘s been.” He pulled her hands back down when she tried to turn his head, keeping them clasped tight between his, her blood smearing between them. “Baby, I swear to yeh, ‘m okay. We’re fine. Right?”

Melody nodded, finally glancing at Bea, tears beginning to slip over her cheeks. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I didn’t know you were here.”

Bea glanced toward the locked door and wrapped her arms around herself, clutching the sides of her sweater. “I was trying to take a nap,” she explained. “And then I heard Harry and...”

Melody flinched as Harry touched her face again, this time wiping her tears with his knuckles to avoid staining her skin with more blood. She watched a deep groove settle into the space between his brows.

“Is he gonna come back?” she whispered.

“No.” Harry shook his head fervently, then winced. He pressed a fist to his forehead, grumbling out, “No, they’ll find him.”

“Harry,” Melody breathed, “are you okay?”

“Ah, fuck,” he hissed, falling from his crouch, onto his knees, his palms clapped to his head. His eyes screwed shut and his teeth ground together, and a moment later he had tipped forward, pressing his forehead into the kitchen floor.

“Harry,” Melody said again. A sound like she’d never heard before ripped from his throat, loud and raw, debilitatingly agonized. She slid an arm beneath his shoulders, hauling his torso across her lap.

“Bea. Bea, his pain pills,” she pleaded, looking up at her friend. “They’re on my dresser. Please.”

“Mel,” Bea said quietly, shaking her head in dismay, “they’re not gonna work right away.”

“I know, I know.” Melody drew a hand down Harry’s back, watching his body shift. “Shit.”

Harry ripped out of her hold a moment later, like space might help the pain. When there was no relief, his forehead crashed against her shoulder, one arm bent up around her neck, both hands clutching wildly at his head again. She locked her arms around his waist.

“Please, go get them,” she begged Bea, who darted across the room.

“Melody,” Harry grunted against her skin. “I can’—”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered when his voice cut off. She wanted to fix him. She wanted to press her lips to his head and take the pain away, and her inability to make it better had her sick to the stomach. “I’m sorry. Harry, you’re gonna be okay.”

“Oh, God.” Bea was crying when she returned. Melody stared at her helplessly. She’d seen Bea cry only once in the years that she’d known her, and it was when she was so drunk out of her mind she couldn’t even figure out why she was crying in the first place. Was she crying from the stress of the past few minutes? Because Harry was in pain?

There was a pounding on the door not a moment after they’d forced a couple of pills down Harry’s throat. Bea and Melody flinched but Harry just yelled in his cracked, broken voice. Melody clutched him closer.

“Police.” The voice was familiar, but for once it didn’t send Melody’s heart into her gut. “Open up.”

Bea waited for Melody’s nod of approval before unlocking the door, allowing Brian and his partner into the apartment. Melody’s mind was no longer lagging. If anything, it was working double speed. She didn’t wait for anyone else to speak before words were spilling from her mouth.

“Colton was here two minutes ago,” she rushed. “I heard him leave the building. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and gray sweatpants. But Harry needs to go to the hospital. Please.”

Brian nodded along as she spoke. He looked down at Harry, still clinging to her, his face mostly hidden but his teeth grinding in agony.

“Would you believe me if I said we found him already?”

Bea exhaled in a huff. Melody’s heart nearly beat out of her chest. “What do you mean?” she asked. “Did you arrest him? Are you taking him in?”

Brian’s eyes wandered across the apartment, through the living room and to the window. The city was growing even darker as the limited sunlight withdrew for the evening. Melody’s nerves felt further fried with every passing moment without a response.

“Brian.”

“Well, it wasn’t us personally who found him,” he murmured. “It was a few other officers in the area on patrol.”

“Okay,” she pressed. “They lost him?”

“No. Uh...” He took a deep breath before looking at her again. “He came at them with a knife. He’s dead.”

Melody reeled backward, nearly yanking Harry off of his knees. He hissed at the movement. The sound caught everyone’s attention again and despite the strange feeling in her gut, the shock that Brian’s words dredged back up, Melody shook her head and pushed this new knowledge to the back of her mind.

“Can you take us to the hospital?” she asked.

Brian nodded, stepping forward to grasp one of Harry’s arms and pull him to his feet. “What’s wrong with him?”

Melody watched Harry slump into Brian’s side. She dragged herself up from the floor. “Colton hit him in the head.”

Brian’s partner—Melody had never learned his name, though she’d pictured his face countless times in her mind when she thought back to being kidnapped—supported Harry from the other side. Melody glanced at Bea before she followed them.

“I’ll meet you there,” Bea assured her, waving her on. “I’ll pack you each a bag just in case.”

Melody felt like she could have cried again. She crossed the kitchen in a few strides and threw her arms around Bea, resting her neck on Bea’s shoulder. “I love you. Thank you.”

Bea nodded in agreement. “I love you, too.” She could hear the cops and Harry making their ways down the staircase, their shoes squeaking, and she squeezed Melody once more before patting her shoulder blade. “Go,” she breathed, and Melody flew out the door. Bea locked it behind her.

Chapter 23

[cake-writes]

Compromise (Part One)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Chapter Warnings: Mom!Reader, Dad!Bucky, Ex-Relationship, Co-Parenting Drama, Angst, Fluff

Summary:  You didn’t want to trust him again, because every time you did, Bucky broke your heart just a little more. Deep down, though, you wanted to get along with him. You wanted to be amicable. You wanted your daughter to know her father. You’d always wanted that. It just required a compromise.

I really don’t need to be working on yet another WIP but here I am, like a clown!

It all started with some of the best sex you’d ever had in your life. You know the kind: rough and desperate. Needy. Passionate. The kind straight out of a romance novel, blazing hot and full of love. The kind that, even four years later, served as inspiration for your fantasies – even if you despised the man responsible.

No, that was a lie. You didn’t despise him. You just wished that you did.

It made your toes curl then, and the memory of it still did, even now. The only difference was that you used a toy. That was all you could do, because in between your job managing a small café and your three-year-old daughter’s care, you had zero time for dating. You were Winnie’s mother and primary caregiver, because of course you were. 

Her father was the Winter Soldier, after all.

The two of you split when Winnie was just thirteen months old. Unsurprisingly, the court didn’t give Bucky custody, not when so much of his past was bound by red tape. You knew that it wasn’t his fault, the things he’d done, but you were still surprised he’d gotten anything at all. Not only was Avenging a dangerous line of work, but it was the exact reason why you’d left.

He only got to see her once a month, with supervised visits – visits that were much harder on you than on your daughter, but you put on a brave face just for her. Maybe some small part of it was for yourself, too. You were still in love with him – or with the idea of him, you weren’t sure anymore, but the fact remained that he chose his work over his new family out of some misguided idea of making up for the awful things he’d done.

He chose Steve. He chose Sam. He chose his past over his present.

Not you.

The visits were difficult, but manageable – when he even managed to show up, of course. It was about fifty-fifty whether or not he’d show, usually because of work and he often tried to reschedule last minute, which you eventually started to refuse. You and Winnie had a set schedule, and you’d be damned if you deviated from it because of him and his neverending excuses.

You did try, once. You tried to work with him, tried to empathize – at least until he rescheduled three Saturdays in a row and Winnie’s poor little heart shattered to pieces. She was inconsolable for weeks, and needless to say, you stopped trying after that. He didn’t deserve it, not when he hurt your young daughter so easily.

Your usual meet-up place was the small park near your house. There wasn’t much else around, anyway, not like inner city Manhattan which you so desperately missed. You couldn’t afford to live there on your meagre barista salary, so you moved shortly after your trainwreck of a break-up. Moving caused an even bigger rift between you and Bucky, one only worsened by heated arguments and nasty words.

Upstate was where you moved, about three hours away from the city.

Upstate was where Bucky was living now, too, about fifteen minutes from your home.

He broke the news during an impromptu lunchtime visit to your café, one you especially did not appreciate due to the fact that he’d shown up at your workplace. It was almost like he’d known you wouldn’t be able to leave, as you so often did when he tried to talk to you about anything. You always put on a smile for your daughter when you dealt with him, but she wasn’t here and you had no reason to be nice.

The mug in front of you sat untouched as you stared down at the coffee within, delicate latte art slowly melting away while you processed what he’d just said. He was going to be just a few miles down the road at the new Avengers facility, and though he didn’t say it outright, the implication was enough: he could come here anytime he wanted to; could pick Winnie up from preschool anytime he wanted to; could see her anytime he wanted to, court order be damned.

You’d been reduced to nothing more than a barrier keeping him away from his daughter – your daughter – and it stung. Then again, that was what you’d become. That was what you’d been forced to become, because of him. 

A barrier. 

A bitch.

“I want to see her more,” he told you, but his cordial tone did nothing to hide the thinly-veiled threat. “It’s been years since the last agreement. Things are different now.”

Don’t make me get a lawyer was what he meant.

What’s worse was that you knew he was right. He’d been cleared of all charges, and although his work wasn’t exactly ideal for childrearing, he earned much more money than you did. Not only that, but with the compound right down the road, there was no way he’d be denied this time. If the two of you went back to court, he’d get joint custody. Fifty-fifty. Equal. You knew it, and he did, too. He was forcing your hand.

“You barely make it to your monthly visits as it is,” you responded evenly, though inside you were about ready to scream. “How are things different, Bucky?”

“I’m close by. We’re training more Avengers, so my hours are flexible. I’ve already talked to Steve.”

Why couldn’t he have talked to Steve two years ago?

“I can show you around the compound, if that’s what you want. It’s better than the tower.”

You remembered the tower. You hated the tower. It was no place to raise a child, what with all the missions and the parties and the late-night take-offs which constantly woke Winnie from her sleep. The one good thing it had going for it was the security.

Somehow, he’d remembered your gripes. You couldn’t decide if you should be flattered or not.

“I’ve even got a spare bedroom for her now, sweetheart. Can’t we make this work?”

“Don’t call me that,” you finally snapped, to which Bucky held his hands up in a show of surrender. He didn’t offer an apology, but then again, you didn’t want one. You didn’t want any of this.

Except maybe you did.

You chewed your lower lip, coffee now long forgotten in favour of worrying about the future. You didn’t want to trust him again, because every time you did, he broke your heart just a little more.

Deep down, though, you wanted to get along with him. You wanted to be amicable. You wanted your daughter to know her father. 

You’d always wanted that.

And if you didn’t, then the next step would be a lawyer. You didn’t have the time or the money for another custody battle, whereas Bucky had plenty of both and he certainly had no qualms about going down that route. This visit was just a last-ditch effort before he did.

“Fine,” you acquiesced through grit teeth, “but I want to see it first.”

“Yeah?” he asked, blue eyes wide with surprise.

For a moment, you were rendered speechless. God, you hadn’t seen him look at you like that in years. The last time probably would have been when you told him that you were pregnant with Winnie. 

Even now, you were still so weak for him. You always managed to stay strong for your daughter, but never for yourself. You missed him, and, well, it wasn’t like you had a choice in the matter either way.

“Yeah,” you repeated, reluctant and hollow.

That weekend, you found yourself staring up at the gates to the compound in awe through the windshield of your small beater. The compound was indeed much larger than the tower had been; you couldn’t see much from the road, but there was plenty of acreage. Plenty of room for Winnie to run around and play, almost, if it wasn’t practically a military base.

When you pushed a button, the CCTV camera came to life, whirring as it likely zoomed in your faces through the side windows of your car. “Ma’am, this is the Avengers Facility. You might have the wrong—”

You abruptly interrupted him with your name, followed by, “And this is Winnifred Barnes. B-A-R-N-E-S.”

There was a long pause, then, as the guy on the other end seemed to realize who you were. Then he had an immediate change of tone. “Oh, that’s— that’s today! Right! I’m so sorry, ma’am!”

Ugh. You weren’t old enough to be a ‘ma’am.’ 

Were you?

After the gate started to open, you slowly made your way up the long driveway, humming quietly to yourself to calm your nerves. That was when Winnie started to sing along with you, the same off-key tune that the two of you often sang together in the bathtub. She’d never been a fan of baths, so you used the song as a distraction. Now it was supposed to be your distraction, but it didn’t work very well.

You parked next to a small fleet of shiny black cars with tinted windows, feeling just as out of place now as you did when you and Bucky were dating. You’d always made coffee for a living, while he was… him. How you even managed to make it work for nearly two years was beyond you, as brief and fleeting as your whirlwind romance had been.

“Is Daddy here?” Winnie asked excitedly, peering out the windows at the large complex of buildings. Her breath fogged up the glass and you couldn’t help but laugh a little.

“Yes, baby,” you told her as you got out of the car and slung your purse over one shoulder, before you opened her car door. “Daddy’s here. We’ll see him soon.”

She bounced happily as you unbuckled her from her car seat, and then you hoisted her up onto one hip and shut the door with your free hand. After that, you slowly made your way up the steps to what you assumed was the main building.

Christ, this place was massive.

Just before you got to the top, the glass double doors up ahead were shoved open and there was Bucky in all his glory – tall and muscular, just like always, albeit almost out of breath. His hair was pulled back into a loose, messy bun, strands of hair framing his face in the familiar way you’d always loved, and the stubble on his face nearly made you swoon.

You hated that you were still attracted to him.  

“Sorry, we’re a little early,” you admitted, nodding to your daughter. “Someone wanted to see you.”

As if on cue, Winnie shouted, “Daddy!” and reached out for him with her little arms, making grabby hands in his direction. She was so eager that you might have dropped her once, but you were used to her excitement.

Bucky met your eyes for a moment with a note of appreciation before he turned to her. Then and only then did the corners of his eyes crinkle up in a genuine smile – one directed at your daughter, not at you, one not meant to keep up a charade like the two of you were wont to do. That was the only type of smile he offered you, and that hurt, too.

“How’s my best girl?” he cooed, peppering her face with noisy kisses.

She giggled and half-heartedly tried to push him away. “Daddy, no! It’s scratchy!” 

At that, he just rubbed his stubbly cheek against hers some more, lightly, not enough to hurt, and she squealed. He slid his hands under her arms with ease before he lifted her up and away from you, and although you knew he wasn’t being malicious, you always hated giving her up.

She just slung her tiny arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. It had been awhile since she’d seen him – probably about two months, now, and you didn’t blame her. You’d missed him, too.

“How was the drive?” he asked you, holding Winnie against his side as the three of you made your way inside. With his free hand, he held open the glass door for you.

“It was a whole twelve minutes,” you responded dryly, more joking than not. Twelve minutes was much better than the nearly three-hour commute from when he was living in the city; not that you had to make it very often, as it was usually his responsibility. “Not too bad. Thanks.”

You weren’t really sure what you were thanking him for. The door, maybe.

Bucky paused to study your face for a moment, hesitant, before he quickly lifted Winnie up onto his shoulders, adorable peals of laughter escaping her. The ceilings were tall enough to offer plenty of leeway, and she’d always enjoyed being able to see things from such a high vantage point, especially someplace new like this. 

“I bet Auntie Nat will be so happy to see you, sweetpea,” you told her, more to fill the silence than anything else. Bucky sure looked like he wanted to say something to you. He had that same reluctant expression on his face, the very one that creased his brows and made your anxiety skyrocket.  

Thankfully, he seemed to understand that you weren’t willing to discuss whatever it was yet, and instead chimed in, “She’s waiting for us upstairs, princess. Do you wanna go see her?”

“Yeah!” Winnie sounded incredibly chipper as she gripped two handfuls of Bucky’s hair in her small fists, almost like the reigns to a horse. “Let’s go!”

You stifled a laugh as she half-directed him where to go. The stairs were steeper than you anticipated, and by the time you reached the next floor, you were well and truly winded. The second flight was even worse; they were both already at the top by the time you got halfway there, because Bucky took them two or three at a time.

“Come on, Mommy!” Winnie cheered.  

“I’m coming, baby,” you called out, holding onto the handrail for dear life. That wasn’t an exaggeration.

One step, two, then three and you finally made it there. It wasn’t that you were out of shape, exactly – except, well, you were. You’d never completely lost the extra weight that came along with having a child, and you definitely didn’t have the time to work out with all of your other responsibilities as much as you would have liked to.

Bucky’s eyes were soft on yours when you glanced over at him, to which you huffed and quickly looked away. Knowing he’d seen how out of shape you were was embarrassing enough.

“Where’s Auntie Nat?” Winnie asked, then, and you were never more grateful to her for it.

“She’s making lunch for us,” Bucky told her, gently placing a hand on your lower back to guide you in the right direction. When you froze up at the unexpected contact, he immediately pulled it away, like he’d only just realized what he’d done.

If your heart wasn’t already racing, it certainly would have been after that.

“How’s that sound, Win? Are you hungry?” you asked as the three of you walked into the large kitchen and living area. The open floor plan was full of expensive things you’d only ever dreamt of, no doubt courtesy of Tony.

“Yeah!” she responded happily, which soon became an excited shriek when she spotted Natasha spreading peanut butter onto a few slices of bread. On the marble countertop in front of her was also a jar of strawberry jam, Winnie’s favourite.

“Hi Winnie,” Natasha greeted. “Guess what I’m making?”

“Peanut butter jellies!” Winnie exclaimed, wiggling a little, clearly ready to get off of Bucky’s shoulders to properly say hi to Natasha. Predictably, he plopped her onto the floor with ease, and she did just that. The sound of her scampering across the unfamiliar tile brought a smile to your face. It almost sounded like home.

Natasha kept her entertained while you and Bucky watched in tense, uncomfortable silence. If nothing else, you were glad that Winnie was able to spend some time with her two favourite people. You, of course, weren’t one of them. You weren’t the fun parent. Bucky was.

“I’m sorry about the other day,” he said, then, softly enough that Winnie couldn’t hear.

You didn’t look at him, instead focusing on what was on the other side of the room: the two black leather sofas surrounding a large flat-screen TV mounted to the wall, with a lavish coffee table in front. All you noticed were the sharp corners and invisible price tags. You weren’t broke, exactly, but all of this was much nicer than you could afford.

“Don’t be,” you replied with a shrug. “She’d be over the moon if we had such a big TV at home.”

“I’m happy to give you more,” Bucky said, crossing his arms. “Why am I not surprised you’re still driving that car?”

At that, you shot him a look that clearly conveyed your displeasure, to which he met your eyes in challenge.

You didn’t want more money from him. You only accepted the bare minimum of child support because it was court-ordered, and even that was a blow to your pride. You and Winnie were managing just fine without the ridiculous sum of money that Bucky made whilst working with the Avengers.

“It still runs. Why would I get rid of it?”

“It’s not as safe as the newer models,” Bucky responded far too evenly for your liking. “You know that. Are you really going to let your pride get in the way of our daughter’s safety?”

“She’s fine,” you hissed. “Are you really going to do this right now?”

“Mommy? What’s wrong?” came your sweet little girl’s voice, then, and your bristly demeanour disappeared in an instant. You always did your best not to argue with Bucky in front of her, but every now and then he just had to push your buttons. This was one of those times.

“Nothing, honey,” you said with faux cheerfulness, walking over to the counter where she was now seated, jam smeared all over her cheeks and chin. “Mommy’s just hungry, that’s all. Can I please have a bite?”

Winnie just beamed and held out one half of her sandwich to you. That was when you noticed that Natasha had lovingly cut it into triangles, just as she always did, and your smile suddenly felt more real than it had in days.

After you took a bite, you brushed Winnie’s soft brown locks away from her forehead and left a kiss there. “Thank you. Now be a good girl for Auntie Nat, okay? Mommy and Daddy will be back soon.”

“Okay, Mommy,” she said so sweetly, you couldn’t help but give her another kiss. Then you shared a warning look with Natasha – almost as if to say keep her out of this – before you walked back over to Bucky.

Together, the two of you went back out into the hallway to finish the argument he started. You were already ready to rip his head off after his unexpected visit-slash-threat earlier in the week, not to mention the snide comment he’d just made about your ability to parent.

The moment the door shut behind you, you were in full attack mode, zero to sixty in no time whatsoever. “Damn it, how many times do I have to tell you not to pick a fight in front of her?”

“Well, maybe if you were more reasonable—”

“More reasonable? Maybe if you made an effort to actually show up every once in a while—”

“What the hell do you think I’m trying to do here, sweetheart? She’s three and I’ve barely seen her!”

“And whose fault is that?” you spat, jabbing your finger into his chest for emphasis, “You’re the one who’s always working, Bucky! You know how excited she gets, and whenever you let her down, I’m the one who has to try and make her feel better! I’m the one making promises you can’t keep!”

Bucky exhaled slowly, then, in a clear attempt to calm down. The two of you never used to fight like this, but ever since you moved away, things had been beyond tense and you’d long since been forced to recognize when he really was trying to control his temper.

Of course, things weren’t always so bad. There were days where both of you were at least somewhat amicable towards each other, maybe even friendly. In fact, this one seemed like it might have been heading in that direction – in the beginning, at least.

Then he finally spoke again, tone clipped, “Let me show you her room.”

Yeah, like seeing whatever he had in store would suddenly make you forget the last three years. 

“Fine.”

Bucky led the way down a winding corridor on the same floor as the communal kitchen. You guessed that each floor probably had its own. The building itself was large and expensive as hell, more than anything you’d ever be able to afford. Just being here almost felt like a privilege.

You hated it. What you hated more was that you liked it. For Winnie, anyway. She deserved the world.

The door to Bucky’s apartment opened with a fingerprint scan, because of course it did. The technology reminded you of your shared suite in the tower once upon a time. 

The apartment wasn’t anything impressive, more of a bachelor pad than anything, but at least it was clean. A grey suede sofa was the focal point, across from another large TV. Boys and their toys, you supposed. At least the coffee table in here had no sharp edges. 

On the other side there was a small kitchenette – big enough for one person, but not necessarily two. Then again, Winnie didn’t eat nearly as much as an adult so that wasn’t really a problem.

Down the hallway, you spotted three doors: one on the left, one on the right, and one at the end. Bathroom, spare room, and his room. At least, that was what you assumed.

You were right.

The second you opened the door to the spare bedroom, your breath hitched in your throat. It wasn’t overly pink or girly like Winnie’s room at home, but you could immediately picture her living here. Not all of the time, because you did still want primary custody, but it was evident that Bucky had put a lot of thought and effort into this.  

There was a twin bed up against one of the walls, with a small guardrail to prevent her from rolling onto the floor – just like at home, where she’d only recently moved into a big girl bed. The sheets were a delicate lavender, and the duvet matched perfectly, white and purple gingham print. At the foot of the bed was a grey fleece blanket, which you absentmindedly brushed your fingers against as you took everything in.

In one of the corners was a small white desk and chair, and on top of it was a stack of children’s books. She hadn’t yet learned how to read, not really, but she loved being read to at bedtime. As you skimmed through the stack, you noticed that a lot of the books were her favourites.

Then you spotted the stuffed animals.

There were a bunch of them, with tags in an assortment of languages. You didn’t even have to look to know that they were from different countries. Bucky must have been saving them for a while. He already knew you had too many at your house as it was; you’d ripped him a new one for it once already, because he liked to bring Winnie one whenever he got back from a mission. You had so many now that they covered her bed, and then some.

He still was picking them up on his missions, it looked like. He just hadn’t given them to her yet.

When you turned back to him, you found him leaning against the doorframe with a hopeful look on his face.

“How long—” Your voice broke, then, and you cleared your throat in an attempt to sound like you weren’t about to cry. It didn’t work. “How long have you been collecting these?”

“Over a year,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly as he nodded to the room itself. “Do you think she’ll like it?”

You let out a shaky breath, willing yourself not to cry in front of him. That didn’t work either.

“Oh, Bucky,” you sniffled. “She’ll love it.”

He hesitantly pushed off the doorframe when he noticed you were upset. “Are you crying?”

“No,” you blubbered, burying your teary face in your hands before he could get a good look.

Bucky wanted to be there for your daughter. At last.

You were beyond touched by all the work that had gone into this, and although you weren’t happy about his unspoken threat of legal action, you could finally see why. He cared about her. He cared about her just as much as you did. He just didn’t show it as well.

The way Bucky wrapped his arms around you was gentle, unsure, but when you leaned into him his hold on you tightened just a little. It had been far too long since you’d been held, for one, and for two, god it felt good to be held by him. You’d forgotten what it felt like to be in his arms. 

You’d missed it – missed him.

That might have been why you finally managed to swallow your pride and ask, muffled and teary, “What car has the best safety features?”

When he pulled away just enough to look at you, he gave you a smile, the same kind where his eyes crinkled at the corners. 

It was genuine.

Part Two / Master List

[ourladyofomega]

Summer of 2006. I waited to take the trip to Philadelphia for a month to see Sleater-Kinney since my former ‘friend’ and fellow DJ D-Klein offered tickets for people to go with him. We had no idea who else would be playing up until then. With us was Elizabeth, D-Klein’’s friend and a huge Sleater-Kinney fan. And off we went to Philadelphia in a sweltering partly cloudy 95* day.

We travel through Coney Island when out of nowhere D-Klein and Elizabeth decide to stop at Astroland to ride the Cyclone. It put the trip on pause like a video game to take a spontaneous time out. But they enjoyed themselves, and why not? I wasn’t going to keep them.

We then drive through the Verrazano Bridge, then Staten Island and through New Jersey. I see all the industrial areas, petrol-storage facilities, the many rest stops, restaurants, and Sunocos lining the New Jersey Turnpike. Last time I checked, the Sunocos averaged no more than $3.05 a gallon. The music played nothing but, you guessed it, Sleater-Kinney, a taste to what to expect. So Olympian, so Kill Rock Stars. Also on the player was D-Klein spinning almost the ntire X-Ray Spex CD as well. We finally arrive in the Philadelphia outskirts at around 6:30 PM and shortly thereafter we cut through Chinatown. I didn’t know Philadelphia even had a Chinatown, but the three of us riding around assumed this was where we would go for some sushi.

Eventually we drive past the venue and see the young Philadelphia hipsters do nothing but stand in line waiting for the show to start and others walking the Philly streets towards the venue as well. We park in front of the bistros and tables and chairs set up on the sidewalks of Philly. At this point we still had no idea who else was playing other than Sleater-Kinney.

We choose Swanky Bubbles, a champagne and sushi bar. For a small eatery it was pretty neat with well-lit ambience and matching low-volume music to go with it. Me, D-Klein, and Elizabeth sit down and talk about the difference between the Philadelphia and Long Island punk scenes, some college student economics, party appearances, and other fine places to eat over our sushi dinner. We order between us wasabi mashed potatoes, a lychee drink, six spears of buttered asparagus salted with parmesan cheese, and sushi rolls such as California, Tuna, Philly, Spider Leg, Time Bomb, and Double Dragon (wasn’t that a video game?); and for dessert, a crispy Thailand banana split. $110.00 was the bill. Sold.

We walk back to the venue and the valet parking guy allowed us to park right in front of the entrance. It was now Club Polaris, formerly the Starlight Ballroom. We get there and find people with extra tickets to give away or sell. In the meantime, we hang out with the organizer of the venue. D-Klein was talking to him about the past shows of yester-years and decades ago. The promoter informs us that Clear Channel was trying to buy out both their venue and Philly scene. It’s depressing to think that Clear Channel would buy out the punk, indie-rock, and hardcore kids and tell them to fuck off so that Clear Channel can put their clean, polished, packaged industry acts in there, with no other outlets for these kids to go who call the streets their own. How we thought that pretty soon, the scene could implode with nowhere to go and be swallowed up into nothing. Where else would we go but further down?

It was when we stand in front of the Polaris waiting to get in that we heard music from inside the venue. We all finally find out to our surprise from the organizer the band was sharing the bill with Sleater-Kinney:

…The Roger Sisters.

Me and D-Klein were floored and it was then we knew that a great show was already going to become even greater.

We go in and this truly was the scene the magazines always talked about. Guys dressing hardcore, some moppy, some Napolean Dynamite cartoonish, and some slim t-shirts. The girls were pretty cute as well with their art-school haircuts, skirts, funny tees, piercings, and either Olympia-type or Williamsburg-type super-feminist style. Imagine makeoutclub ever having a meeting center.

Polaris was dark and crowded. All around us were many bars to get beer. There were many booths where kids sat around and mostly in groups drinking beers and water. (Remember, this was during a heat-wave. The Eastern board was hit with 90 degree-plus weather with lots of humidity). Some were quiet, arms crossed and minding their own. Others were very delighted to see each other and were greeted with hugs and kisses. We witnessed a couple of lesbians making out as well. And you had to give it to one fan who came to the show in a wheelchair.

The ballroom, as expected, was huge with lots of standing space. When the three of us got there, the front of the standing room was taken up but we managed to make our way about ten feet from the speakers, with a very lucky few who took a spot standing right under the vent. We had a good view to see the Rogers Sisters perform. Miyuki Furtado (bass / vocals) dedicated a song to Spiro Agnew, but took it back and later dedicated it to Condoleezza Rice. Jennifer Rogers (vocals / guitar) applied her lip gloss to prepare for the end of their set. Miyuki whipped himself around in a frenzy, performing sonic guitar tricks and creating feedback for all of us. We literally see the sweat and mist come off of his forehead. Laura Rogers (drums / vocals) whipped herself into a frenzy, too. The set lasted only 45 minutes but it was a good set. As we didn’t even know that the Rogers Sisters would play, it was no loss and all gain. Everyone wins.

The three of us hit the merchandise tables. I score Sleater-Kinney’s self-titled CD for $15.00 and I wanted to get some Rogers Sisters stuff but no one was at the tables yet. We sit around taking in all this humidity and heat observing the scene for a little bit more before we hit the merch- tables again where Miyuki and Laura finally set shop. A d.i.y. ethic. For $7.00 I grabbed three 7” singles from the Sisters who came off as very nice and gracious people. Elizabeth scores a Roger Sisters CD and matching Sleater-Kinney tees for her and her friend.

What hooked me to the Rogers Sisters was that I discovered them on WUSB’s Riot Grrrl Plus show in Summer 2003 and happened to record “I’m A Ballerina” on tape. And every chance I had I aimed to play them on the air. Why not? I figured people can be art-smart from getting into them. Bonus.

Sleater-Kinney finally came to play for a good 90 minutes. I believe D-Klein’s life has now culminated into this one night: he’s a huge fan who never had failed to play them on his show on a consistent basis (and he’s known to do that with Sonic Youth as well). Without him he wouldn’t have made this attempt to see them one last time.

One last time? Yes, Sleater-Kinney would finally call it quits after eleven years of making Kill Rock Stars a lot of money. This was their last tour and The Woods was their final record. They had to go out with style big time.

They came on and it was deafening. These ladies knew how to rock. Listen to the way they sound as theirs was rivaled by no other. Mid-set, Carrie Brownstein and Corin Tucker faced off and play their guitars towards each other and it was amazing. I was taken over. For 90 minutes I was trying to follow and absorb everything that Sleater-Kinney performed. Janet throws drumsticks and Carrie shakes out water bottles at the crowd to cool themdown. Fans screamed for them to keep going, not to go. They really loved this band that truly represented the indie-rock crowd and grrrls / femmes in general. One guy even ran on stage and urged the crowd to get ready to catch him up as he was about to stage-dive. He jumps off and instead lands on his feet. Sorry, Charlie. It’s not how it goes here at a Sleater-Kinney show.

After a while, they walk off-stage and fans just did not want to get it, so they stand there cheering and clapping heavily for five minutes more. And yes, they came back to play a few more songs, some off of The Woods. And that’s all she wrote in Philadelphia. An extended ovation as one-by-one Sleater-Kinney walks off-stage and acknowledge their fans with handshakes and smiles.

I don’t know about D-Klein or Elizabeth, but my head was about to explode. Throbbing. My entire body dripping of sweat, my shirt damp from the humidity. We leave Polaris and start driving home, a very exhausting three-hour drive compounded by listening to more Sleater-Kinney, X-Ray Spex and now The Rogers Sisters, taking home a still-pounding headache and wonderful memories from the last day of July that year.

[raleighcarrera]

catch up

platinum | raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian)

it’s been eight months since the breakup. they have a lot to catch up on.

~6k words, M (18+ only)

songs mentioned are gorgeous | no more sad songs | touch (acoustic)

he’d been wondering who would get around to dropping their album first. from the looks of the current trending topics on twitter, cadence had won. it looked like she’d even chosen to jack his style -- dropping her album in full with no announcement, no promotion, no warning... nothing.

color him impressed.

no more sad songs was number one on trending. just below it was the word touch. related topics: cadence dorian, raleigh carrera. 

he told himself it was just his own narcissism that made him click. that, and morbid curiosity. it’d been so long since he’d last tortured himself, after all. 

a long list of tweets stared innocently back at him. GOD touch is the sexiest song anyone has EVER WRITTEN I’M SCREAMING, said the first one. make it a single queen!!!! you deserve the hottie they will cast for that music video and more!!!!!

he scrolled down. sooooooooo are we going to talk about how touch is obviously about raleigh carrera giving that good dick or nah

his eyebrows shot up. well, now he had to listen to it. 

he pulled up spotify; of course she was on the home page. with just a few taps, the song started to play. an impressive piano melody filled the room. she must have beep practicing. as her voice filtered in, he turned up the volume.

cadence sounded... soft and sad, and, the masses on twitter were right: sexy. god did her breathless, yearning voice sound sexy. despite himself, he could actually feel his face flush as he listened to the words. so won't you take it, i feel like for the first time i am not faking... fingers on my buttons and now you're playing. master of anticipation, don't you keep it all to yourself.

it took everything in him not to be consumed by the memories that were threatening, but the last thing he needed was to fall down that rabbit hole. he’d gone so long without thinking about her, after all. it was almost up to a full two days at this point, before something would inevitably remind him of her and he would spiral again.

the rest of her album stared back at him from his laptop screen. he studied the cover art as her voice filled the empty room. it was a photo of cadence, of course, a wide full-body shot against a brick wall. she looked powerful, in the sharp black outfit she was wearing, her skirt just short enough to make her legs look a few hundred miles long. 

inhaling sharply, raleigh forcibly redirected his gaze to the track list, scanning the rest of the titles. his lips curved up into a smirk as he read them off, one by one. motorcycle boy. hollywood. tattoos and bad news. subtlety was never her strong point.

then again, he mused, as he considered his own journal and the songs inside it -- kaleidoscope dress. ferris wheel. lady liberty. sex at the moda. -- he really wasn’t one to talk. not that his label would ever let him get away with that last one. it was just a working title, anyway. 

he navigated back to twitter and tapped the moment about her album, no more sad songs. the first tweet he saw said omgggg i love the energy of cadence building raleigh up in ‘gorgeous’ and then tearing him down in ‘shout out to my ex’ so much kdhfgksjfhdg HER MIND this album is everything

it looked like he had some listening to do. but first... 

he strolled over to the far wall of his bedroom and pulled off his shirt, sidling up to the floor length mirror by the window to take a selfie. his free hand pushed his hair back from his face, and he stuck his tongue out at his reflection as he snapped the picture. 

it was just trolling, he told himself as he uploaded the photo to his pictagram, already laughing at his own joke while he typed out the caption. it wasn’t like he was trying to get anyone’s attention -- he just couldn’t resist giving the fans and the internet something to talk about.

raleigh smirked at his phone as the photo finished uploading and stared back at him from his feed. photograph with no t-shirt on. well, there was no taking it back now. if cadence was allowed to write about him, he was allowed to enjoy it, right?

five minutes later, his phone rang. it was avery. he took care to pause cadence’s album before he picked up the phone. “helloooooooo?”

“you know you broke the internet, right?” she asked, aprops of a greeting. 

a shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “i have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“you’re such a dick,” she laughed, “you just couldn’t let her have one day, could you? you could congratulate her, you know. she worked really hard on that thing.”

“um, i basically gave her a number one album,” he remarked, his bravado a mask as always. “without me she would’ve had, like, one track on that thing. or she wouldda had to write about you. so you’re welcome, too.”

raleigh pulled his phone away from his face to squint down at his pictagram notifications. stream no more sad songs!! said the last ten comments. omg shout out to my ex is right

“besides, i’m getting trolled. like, a lot. i doubt she cares what i post.”

“i wouldn’t be so sure about that,” avery remarked cryptically. before he had a chance to wonder what that meant, she said, “hey, she’s playing a surprise show tonight at webster hall before the album release party. you should stop by.”

“i think if she wanted me to come to her party she would’ve invited me.” it might’ve been nice to hear from her -- especially given the intimate details about their relationship he was now being forced to listen to, along with millions of other people. 

you’re not being fair, he reminded himself, thinking again of sex at the moda. he hardly intended to give her a heads-up about that one. though he doubted she would care.

not that he cared. she could write about whatever she wanted. she could turn her life into art -- if that was what she wanted. she could tell... whoever, about what had happened between them. about what he’d made her feel.

she never told him, but, whatever. that was fine. that was her prerogative.

“earth to raleigh,” avery said on the line, snapping him out of his thoughts. “i said, she didn’t tell anyone about the party. the album was a secret, yeah? you should at least come to the show. i think your support would mean a lot to her.”

“well, i guess you’ll just have to support her enough for the both of us,” he said, meaner than he felt. raleigh shut his eyes, sighing as he rubbed at his forehead. “sorry. i’m not trying to be an asshole.”

“don’t sweat it.” avery always let him off the hook so easily, “i know it just comes naturally to you. seriously, the show starts at 7. think about it, okay? if you do decide to come, text me when you get there and i’ll let you in the back.”

he put the album back on as soon as they hung up. without a distraction, there was nothing to stop him from looking at cadence’s twitter account. she’d last posted just a few minutes ago:

surprise! i’ll be playing no more sad songs in its entirety tonight at webster hall’s marlin room. doors open at 6 for the first 600 in line. see you there? you never know who might drop by...

fuck it. he turned the volume up on her album and headed towards the shower. he’d avoided her for long enough, and tonight was as good a night for him to get over himself as any. maybe after this he could stop looking over his shoulder at every party he went to, terrified he’d have to see her. 

that didn’t mean that it didn’t feel like a mistake, to get dressed and make his way to the village. it felt like a bad decision every step of the way, even as he ducked around the back of the venue at 7:05 to see avery’s smiling face, holding the backstage door wide open. it was too late to go home, now. 

“took you long enough,” she grinned, squealing as she jumped into his arms. “i almost thought you weren’t going to show.”

“yeah, yeah. did she go on yet?”

avery led him inside, closing the door firmly behind them both. she nodded as they stepped up to the side of the stage. the screams from the crowd were deafening. “she just went out there. i think she’s about to start --”

raleigh heard the strum of a guitar and peeked around to see cadence standing center stage. “this is a really good looking crowd,” she said, grinning when the sound of the cheers rose exponentially. “thanks so much for coming out. are you guys cool if i play some tunes? yeah? okay, then. this first one is about a guy i used to date, it’s called ‘gorgeous.’”

he folded his arms over his chest, leaning back against the wall behind them. he was shameless in the way he looked her up and down, staring as she strutted across the stage. he was proud of her -- she’d come a long way since the first time he saw her perform, so long ago. cadence had real stage presence, now -- she’d come into her own. she acted like a woman, sang like a woman, dressed like a woman. she was confident. 

“whiskey on ice, sunset and vine. you’ve ruined my life by not being mine.” an elbow in his side made raleigh tear his eyes from her. he looked over at avery, rubbing at his ribs. “ow. what was that for?”

“you know everyone thinks this one is about you, right?” she asked, smirking. 

“you make me so happy it turns back to sad, there’s nothing i hate more than what i can’t have.” 

“aren’t they all about me?” raleigh asked, still hiding behind his attitude. avery only rolled her eyes, and eventually the crowd’s screams drowned out anything else they might’ve wanted to say. 

she played a few more songs before finally sitting down at the piano off to the side of the stage. now that she was closer, raleigh could see her better, and he stared as she brushed her hand across her forehead, pushing her hair off her face. she drank deeply from a water bottle and then set it on the piano’s ledge. raleigh was close enough to watch her swallow, but she still didn’t see him. it was probably the stage lights -- a single spotlight illuminated her at the piano as she adjusted the mic to pull it closer to her lips.

“we’re gonna slow it down for just one song,” cadence said, “i hope you don’t mind.” the cheers from the crowd proved that they didn’t. “i saw ya’ll talking about this one on twitter earlier.” he could see her grin perfectly from where he was standing; it was blinding. “i’m glad you like it. even if you don’t post thirst traps to it.”

the crowd went wild. even raleigh barked out a laugh; he hardly thought she had it in her. okay. point one, cadence.

“put your flashlights in the air for this one, okay? you and i and nobody else... feeling feelings i never felt...”

she was beautiful, of course -- always, every day, but never more than in this moment, with her eyes closed and her expression haunted, her hands moving along the piano keys. it probably said something dangerous about his ego that he found her the most stunning when she was singing about him. 

as the last few notes died, he sighed, digging his fingernails into the fabric of his jacket over his arms where they were folded on his chest. suddenly, it felt like he shouldn’t be there. or maybe he was the only one who should be there. either way, he hardly wanted to think about it. 

her moment of silent reflection as the song ended was gone in a flash. he watched her take a breath to steady herself, and then cadence was back in her stage persona, hopping off the piano bench to grab her guitar again. “thank you so much, new york city. you’ve been amazing. i’m so glad i could share this album with you -- it’s one of the most personal things i’ve ever written, and it means so much to me to play it for you all like this.” 

“this is the last song i have for you tonight -- it’s the title track, no more sad songs. it’s the last song i wrote for the album. this song is about trying to get over someone you can’t help but think about by any means necessary. it’s about the point in a breakup where you’re tired of wallowing and you’ll do anything you can to make yourself feel better -- i like to think it’s about the acceptance stage of grief. anyway, it felt right to keep it last... to name the album after it. i’m finally at a place in my life where i can put this chapter behind me. and it took a lot to get there, and i’m so proud of that. so, with that being said...” 

the crowd cheered as she strummed the first few notes. “thank you guys again so fucking much. sing along if you know the words already, okay?”

it was the second time that day he’d heard the song. it still made him feel the same way he’d felt when he first heard it -- angry and surprised and unsettled... and guilty. why hadn’t she ever told him she felt that way? why hadn’t she called him, and more importantly, why had he never called her, again?

his gaze hardened as she stopped at the front of the stage for the bridge. the same single spotlight illuminated her again. 

“uh, why do you have that murdery look?” avery asked from beside him. he said nothing, watching the melody build around cadence as she approached the crowd.

“still got you on my mind, starting to realize... no matter what i do, i will only harm myself tryn’a hurt you, and if i turn the music loud just to drown you out --”

her head tipped back with the powerful crescendo. she looked like an angel under the spotlight, more beautiful than he even knew how to explain. his chest seized painfully. 

abruptly, he turned around and headed back towards the backstage door. he knew he only had moments until the last song ended and cadence rushed backstage, and he needed to get out of there before that happened.

“raleigh!” avery called after him, but he didn’t stop, throwing open the back door and stepping out onto the sidewalk... immediately into a crowd of waiting fans and paparazzi.

a cacophony of screams started from the street. “ohmygod, it’s raleigh carrera!”

fuck. venue security glared at him as he shoved sunglasses on -- fuck the fact that it was nine o’clock at night -- and rushed off down the sidewalk. so much for getting in and out before cadence saw him. there’d be pictures of his exit all over social media in moments. paparazzi called after him as he rushed to the intersection, eyes scanning the street desperately for a working cab.

he stuck his hand out just as one with its lights on slid to a stop at the corner, jumping inside and slamming the door closed. camera flashes still shone behind his eyes even as he shoved the palms of his hands into them, drawing in a deep breath. sighing shakily, he met the driver’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “88th and park. please.”

once he was alone in his apartment he felt like he wanted to put his fist through a wall. the urge to destroy something, anything was too strong -- because that was what he was supposed to do, wasn’t it? that’s what raleigh carrera would do.

she deserved so much better than him. the last thing she needed was to see him at her show and get sucked back into his bullshit. he paced around his living room, convincing himself he’d done the right thing. she’d moved on, after all -- she was happy, thriving. she didn’t need him around messing up her life. she’d practically said so herself. 

his phone vibrated where he’d dumped it on the coffee table, sliding onto the carpeted floor. raleigh couldn’t think of anyone he wanted to talk to, but he bent down and picked it up anyway.

he almost jumped out of his skin when he saw the caller id. cadence dorian. tongue out emoji. winking emoji. music note. 

“hello?”

“oh, so your phone isn’t down a well somewhere. okay, just checking. good to know.”

she hung up. 

he glared down at the phone in his hand. what the fuck? raleigh called her back before he even knew what he was doing.

“what?” she answered, though she sounded annoyed. like... really annoyed. 

“what is your problem?” he demanded.

“my problem?” she laughed. he could barely hear her over the commotion on the other end of the line -- someone was calling her name repeatedly in a way that sounded urgent -- and then a door slammed, and there was quiet. “my problem, okay. i don’t have a problem. i’m not the one out here subtweeting and sneaking in and out of your show without calling, am i?”

“no, you’re just writing and releasing an entire sixteen-song album about me and all the ways i ruined your life without calling,” he snapped, his patience finally wearing thin enough to crumble. “don’t you think it might’ve been nice for you to give me a heads-up?”

“oh, please,” cadence scoffed, and he could feel that she was getting angry now, too. it felt good, in an awful sort of way. at least it was something. “i should have to clear it with you every time i write a song?”

“not a heads-up about the album,” he grit out, the fingers of his free hand flexing with the urge to throw something, “a heads-up about the way you fucking felt. you never say a goddamn word about any of that to me and i have to find out about it for the first time with -- everyone else? that’s really fucking special, cadence. that means a lot to me.”

there was silence on the other end of the line, giving him a moment to try to calm himself down. cadence was only ever quiet when she’d been surprised, meaning she wasn’t expecting him to say that. but she was certainly silent, then; if he couldn’t still hear her breathing raggedly, he might’ve assumed that she hung up on him again.

finally, she spoke, her voice small and unsure. “raleigh...”

but he wasn’t done fighting with her yet. “what’s the matter? you never thought that it might actually hurt my feelings? i guess that’s on me for giving a shit.”

“raleigh,” cadence said again, more insistently this time, “i didn’t know how to --”

“how to what, cadence? not break up with me? not ignore me for eight months afterwards? not pretend like it didn’t mean anything to you? it’s not that difficult.”

“well, obviously it was too difficult for you to do, too. you didn’t call me, either. so i’m supposed to believe -- what, exactly? that you missed me? that’s convincing, when you’re never out without a model on your arm.” 

she sounded hurt. why did she sound hurt? she was the one who’d stomped on his heart, she was the one who’d wanted this. 

“get over yourself,” he bit out, his hand curling into a fist at his side. he was never going to get his security deposit back after what he was about to do to his penthouse. “you knew i was in love with you and you didn’t care. which is fine. you don’t have to... just own it. stop acting like i did something to you.”

suddenly, the commotion on the other end of the line was back. “i have to go,” she said softly, her voice barely a whisper. 

he hung up without saying goodbye, throwing his phone onto the couch. okay. that was fine. everything was fine.

except that he couldn’t possibly stand to be in his apartment for another moment -- not without doing something stupid. 

he grabbed his keys and his phone and left, slamming the door behind him. his fingers drummed restlessly on his thighs as he rode the elevator down to the lobby. there were paparazzi waiting outside the front door of his building -- raleigh could see them through the glass as soon as he stepped out of the elevator. with a grimace, he headed for the back door.

there was already a car waiting for him. “let’s go to kismet,” he directed, rapidly firing off text messages to anyone he knew who might be available to distract him. 

within minutes, he was inside the club at a vip table. there was a bottle of vodka sitting in a bucket of ice at the center of the booth, calling out to him. he lifted it straight to his lips, drinking as much as he could in one go without coughing. she’d always used to joke about his self-destructive tendencies. if only she could see him now.

“hey, raleigh.” belle tamblyn stood before him, smiling in the low light of the club. she must’ve just gotten back from paris fashion week. two of her friends had already sat down at the booth, talking among themselves. 

he leaned back into the booth with a charming smile. “hey, belle. i knew you missed me.”

she laughed, taking his words as an invitation to sit down in his lap. he didn’t push her off, wrapping an arm around her narrow shoulders. she was taller and thinner than cadence in a way that wasn’t unfamiliar to him, but wasn’t exactly welcome, either. you’re never out without a model on your arm.

“so,” she started, looking down at him from up close, “what’ve you --”

he leaned up and kissed her, sliding a hand into her hair. her lips parted in surprise, sticky with lip gloss. raleigh bit her bottom lip and she sighed breathlessly, and that was -- good. that was almost... close enough.

his free hand slid over her backside, pulling her in closer. she was breathing hard when she pulled away, her face flushed.

raleigh laughed, pushing his fingertips under the hem of her dress. she reached down and swatted playfully at his chest.

“you’re an asshole,” she said primly, but she was rubbing her hand over the muscles in his chest. “do you want to get out of here?”

the last thing he wanted was to bring her back to his apartment, or to be there at all. “i don’t think i can wait that long,” he said charmingly, “bathroom?”

her nose scrunched up as she considered it, staring down at him. then, she said, “fine,” and slid up off his lap. he grinned, grabbing her hand and tugging her off toward the back of the club. 

it was a single person bathroom, and blessedly empty when they arrived. no one paid them any attention as he pulled her inside and flipped the lock. 

raleigh lifted her onto the sink and leaned in to kiss her again. she moaned as he pushed her legs apart and stepped between them, sliding his hands up her thighs.

this was fine. this was what he wanted.

so why couldn’t he force himself to do what he knew he was supposed to? his hands didn’t seem to want to move from where he’d anchored them on her legs, his lips kissing her methodically but not doing much else.

she wants to have sex with you! his brain screamed at him, she is a supermodel. a supermodel who wants to have sex with you. 

impatiently, her hands slid to the waistband of his jeans. he didn’t stop her as she pulled the zipper down and slipped her hand under the waistband of his briefs. 

it’s not a big deal. you’ve done this a million times. never after an argument like that with cadence, though... only when she was busy pretending he didn’t exist... 

the bass of the music playing in the club vibrated through the closed door. the song sounded painfully familiar -- he strained to make out what it was...

of course it was a dance remix of ‘gorgeous.’ why wouldn’t it be?

panting, he pulled his mouth off of belle’s, tipping their foreheads together. “hey,” he started hoarsely, licking his lips as he glanced down towards where her hand was wrapped around him, “i’m sorry, but i don’t... have anything. i don’t think we should...”

have unprotected sex in a nightclub bathroom. her teeth dug into her bottom lip as she weighed her options. on any other night, that might have actually been flattering, but tonight...

pounding on the bathroom door made their minds up for them. he stepped back, adjusting himself in his jeans. “come on.”

he helped her down off the sink and opened the door, ready to lead her back out into the club. the line of people waiting to use the bathroom stared open-mouthed at them both as they walked off toward the booth. raleigh grinned at them as he walked past -- that was what he was supposed to do, right?

belle’s friends barely arched an eyebrow at her as they sat down again. immediately, he started pouring drinks and passing them out -- anything to be as drunk as possible before the song ended.

by the time he stumbled home, alone, it was late -- later than he’d wanted to be out. he used the front door -- not because he wanted any paparazzi to get photos of him going home alone or anything, but because he felt like it -- and waited until he was in the elevator to sigh frustratedly, decidedly not checking his phone. he knew there was no way she’d texted him.

cadence was sitting on the floor outside of his apartment door when he stepped out into the hallway.

he stared at her like she was a hallucination, lifting one hand to his eyes to rub at them. maybe he had more to drink than he’d thought. she looked up at him, still dressed in what she must’ve worn to her album release party.

he felt like he was going to throw up. god, that would be uncool.

“hi,” she said quietly, from the floor. wordlessly, he stepped closer to her and held out his hand. she took it, letting him pull her up. “can i talk to you?”

that wasn’t going to be easy, considering he had absolutely no idea what to say, but raleigh nodded, unlocking his front door and motioning for her to step inside.

he didn’t turn the lights on, letting the floor-to-ceiling windows illuminate the space. the lights from the city and the glow of the moon made cadence look almost ethereal as she slowly wandered over towards the far wall, hesitating for a moment before kicking her high-heeled shoes off. despite himself, his lips twitched up into a smile as he watched her.

“want a drink?” he asked, because he certainly did.

she nodded, and he moved to the bar cart to pour them both a half-full glass of vodka. he dropped an ice cube into his and poured orange juice over hers. 

raleigh forced his feet to join her at the windows, silently holding her glass out to her. she took it with a mumble of thanks, lifting it to her lips. her eyes were trained on the view. what the fuck was she doing here?

the silence stretched between them. finally, he said, “congratulations on the album. it’s really good.”

that seemed to snap her out of it. she snuck a glance at him out of the corner of her eye. “you listened to it?”

he nodded. no point in lying about it, now. “i’m a narcissist,” he joked, “it’s what i do.”

she laughed. raleigh stuffed his free hand into his pocket so that he wouldn’t reach out for her. god, he’d missed her laugh. 

he drained what was left in his glass in one go. “what’re you doing here?”

cadence was still staring out at the city. “i wanted to talk to you.”

“and yet, here you are. not talking.”

“i didn’t get that far when i planned this in my head,” she admitted, in an annoyingly endearing way. god damnit.

“how far did you get?”

she turned to look at him, then, leaning her shoulder against the window. “i thought maybe i would just kiss you when you got here and that would say everything i wanted to say. but then i chickened out.”

it felt like she’d just elbowed him in the stomach. “that doesn’t sound like you.”

“the kissing? i don’t know, i thought about it kind of a lot...”

he swallowed hard. “the chickening out.”

“oh.” she nodded, looking away. raleigh watched her stare down at the glass in her hands. “i guess i just felt like i already messed up so much. i didn’t want to... do the wrong thing again.”

raleigh couldn’t quite decide if he was too drunk for this conversation or not drunk enough. “how was your party?”

“it was fine. i think the last one i had -- for the odyssey -- was better.”

there was a night he didn’t want to relive. “look,” he sighed finally, turning back towards the windows and the city skyline, “i didn’t mean to put you in an uncomfortable position. if you’re only here because you think i’m upset... you don’t have to be. i’ll be fine.”

he could see her shifting out of his peripheral vision. she seemed to be considering what she wanted to say. finally, she spoke up. “that’s not why i’m here.” he turned towards her and watched as her shoulders squared. “i’m here because i missed you. a lot. and i wanted to apologize, for what happened between us... for shutting you out. for not telling you how i felt -- that i was in love with you, too. for letting you go.”

raleigh’s grip tightened on his glass so that he wouldn’t drop it on the floor. he stared at her like he was seeing her for the first time. 

cadence drew in a deep breath and continued, “getting over you was the hardest thing i ever had to do. and when i saw the pictures of you leaving the show tonight i realized... i failed miserably at it. i can’t get over you. i couldn’t. i won’t.”

he had to be imagining this, right? he was drunk and asleep in his limo, he had to be. he was dreaming.

but she felt very, very real when she reached out and twined her fingers in the fabric of his shirt.

“please say something,” she begged. she was undeniable.

“cadence...” he sighed, “you know how i feel.”

she nodded, once. “i do, but i want to hear you say it.”

“i want you to be my fucking girlfriend,” he admitted immediately, his voice hoarse. now that he’d given in, his free hand reached out and cupped her cheek. “for real. all the time. in front of everyone. i want you to move in, i never want us to go another day without talking. i don’t want anyone else to touch you. ever again.”

her lips parted. he couldn’t stop his thumb from pressing into her invitingly full bottom lip, watching in fascination as her eyelids fluttered. “raleigh,” she breathed, beautifully enough to do his head in. 

he stepped forward swiftly, pressing her back against the windows, and kissed her. she moaned, scrambling to set her glass on the side table next to her. he knew her hands were free when they shoved into his hair. 

fuck, if he hadn’t been wanting this for so long. his lips broke off of her to trail kisses across her jaw, down towards her neck. he couldn’t stop his fingers from tugging at her dress insistently. “do you want that?” he demanded. raleigh felt her nod against him. his teeth scraped across her pulse point. “say it.”

“raleigh!” she exclaimed. it was the most amazing sound in the world. his hips pushed forward insistently, grinding between her thighs. the force of it pushed her back into the windows. “i want it, i want you. i want all of it -- everything.”

the urgency to fuck her through the window was balancing precariously against his desire to do things right -- to give her what she deserved. with a huff, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up, walking them both off towards his bedroom.

she laughed again as he dumped her on the mattress, hard enough to make her bounce. raleigh grinned back at her as he whipped his shirt off of his head, tossing it to the floor. she was scrambling up the mattress, and he chased her towards the headboard, kneeling on top of her when she finally laid back.

he crowded her in close for another kiss, his hands everywhere at once. she whined into his lips, kissing him so urgently, like they didn’t have all the time in the world, now. “i missed you,” she breathed, her hands clutching at his shoulders desperately.

“i missed you too, beautiful,” he returned, pushing her dress up her thighs, “now lie back and let me make you feel good.”

his head was spinning by the time they’d finished, and not because of the drinks he’d had. cadence was tucked up under his arm, her head pillowed on his chest. she was still catching her breath as she dragged her fingertips along the tattoo spanning the expanse of his ribs.

the sun was starting to come up outside, filtering light into his bedroom. he stared at her face, illuminated by the dawning daylight. “you know, if anyone here is gorgeous, it’s you.”

“oh my god,” she mumbled, pressing her face into his skin, “you’re never going to let this go, are you?”

he smirked up at the ceiling as he pulled her in closer. “would you say it makes you so mad?”

“i’m going home,” she threatened, pinching his side. he laughed, squirming away from her hand. “this is over. you ruined it.”

“well, what if i want to come along?”

“raleigh,” she groaned finally, kicking him under the covers, “stop it.”

he snickered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “what, you’re allowed to write about me, but i’m not allowed to enjoy it?”

“please,” she sighed, settling in against his chest again, “like you don’t write about me.”

“i never said that,” he hummed, already imagining the things her face would do when she finally got to listen to his album, if he ever finished it. “i’m really hoping the label doesn’t make me change the name of sex at the moda.”

“okay, you did not write a song called ‘sex at the moda.’ tell me you didn’t.”

“i’d hate to lie.”

she lifted her head to look at him, her face flushing. “will you play it for me?”

he eyed the guitar in the corner of his bedroom. like he could ever say no to her. still...

“maybe later,” he grinned, rolling over to pin her beneath him, the sheets tangling around their legs. “i can think of a better use of our time. we have a lot to catch up on.”

her arms wound around his neck. “tell me about it.”