#lameeee this got too long

[sscieloz]

no like imagine riding MILF jihyos strap and she’s just whispering in your ear telling you how pretty you sound and how good your being…

better if you've had a tiring, stressful day and wanted nothing but to go straight to bed and not talk to a single soul for at least three days straight... then you open the door to your apartment and ofc she's there. as always, she knows exactly what you need: she cooks you dinner, listens attentively to your complaints and even tells you she's spending the night, even though it's a week-day, since the kids are at their dad's and she feels lonely at home.

she's selfish, too; takes her time prepping you, getting you in the mood to do it: she talks about how the sight of you bouncing on top her hasn't left her mind for weeks, and it's just been so long since you two fucked... she knows you're tired, but also knows exactly which buttons to push to get you worked up. all it takes is a little bit of cooing and there you are: biting your lip as you ride her so prettily, blossoming under her words. hearing her call you her good girl and tell you how obedient you are, gorgeous as always at her mercy. it's exactly what you need after dealing with so much bs. and when she tells you to cum for her, guiding your hips to fasten your movements bc you're "so tired, my love. shhh you don't need to think, okay? I'll help you. pretty little thing, all mine." you follow immediately. and when she tells you she's so proud, she loves you so much and you're so strong-- you melt.

it's a win-win, ofc. you feel insanely better, and jihyo gets to do her favorite thing: tending to her pretty girl as she wishes to.

[dr-spectre]

As someone who's been in multiple fandom circles and calls themselves a Splatoon fan, I've seen a lot of focus and discussion on "THE LORE!!" and "CANON!!!" and to be honest with you... it's getting really tiring and I think people are just WAY TOO obsessed with what a wiki or an intern at Nintendo says rather than forming their own perspective on events and coming to their own unique conclusions.

Now, I wanna say, if talking about lore and discussing which elements are canon or not makes you happy and you love talking about that, then that's perfectly okay. It's fine. It's not for ME personally because my focus on Splatoon is the gameplay, music and the storytelling chops of each Hero Mode.

Story >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Canon for me any day of the week i do not care.

Because, to get away from Splatoon for a second, for my Sonic fans out there, you remember when Sega and the people behind the show Sonic Prime said that it was canon to the mainline Sonic timeline? And if you said otherwise you were technically wrong because "oh Sega said this, so it MUST be true!"

........But then everyone said that Sonic Prime cannot be canon to the mainline Sonic timeline because it has a fuck ton of inconsistencies? Yeah.... funny. Basically, don't put a lot of focus into "what actually happened" and "oh this is what the multi billion dollar corporation said!" because there's always gonna be one guy out there that goes "um this information kinda fucking damages the story in a severe way." (And sometimes that one guy is me.... hehehehe....)

I could obviously talk about.... you know.... Hypno Callie again for the 50th trillion time.... (and i will)..... This bitch.... I wanna love you girlie i really fucking do but Nintendo and millions of people make it hard to....

Nintendo set up Callie's villain arc decently in Splatoon 1 with the Splatfest dialogue, the Squid Sister stories and the Sunken Scrolls, yet they ultimately damaged the progression of the arc by saying "nah fuck u she got kidnapped and brainwashed, removing all of her memories and free will because fuck telling a good story with satisfying set up and pay off that allows for character growth. Fundamentals of storytelling? What are those?" And it also destroyed Callie as a character by reducing her to an object that the player "must save from da evil Octavioooo" and "oh look at her! She put the stupid brainwashing shades onnn againnn!! such a dumb fucking moron dumbass piece of shit right guys?!? lmaoooooooooo!! explore the dangers of addiction and how you need to seriously change your life and be surrounded by those you love in order to change bad habits?? Themes?? PFFTTT! NAWWW! THAT'S LAMEEEE!! It's Callie! No one cares about Callie!! She's stupiddd!!!"

(I talked about Callie in a tumblr comment section one time and I got made fun of for by a guy way older than me. I love humanity.)

It also ruined DJ Octavio's character too because, if what Nintendo said is true about what he did then he cannot be redeemed in Splatoon 3. He cannot go back on the shit he's done. But they try to redeem him out of nowhere and now he's all chill with the New Squidbeak Splatoon and appeared in the Grand Fest.... Yet what he did to Callie which Nintendo loves to push is truly TRULY unredeemable and if that's the case then welp.... I call that bad writing, straight up. It's bad writing.

I really hate it when something happens in a story and you perceive it in a certain way where you feel like it elevates the events, but then the company behind the story chooses to pick the worst outcomes possible just because? And everyone rolls with it just cause? Ugh...

Lesson of today is, don't fucking listen obsessively to what a company says and suck it up. Consume media and come to your own conclusions on what happened. As long as you have tangible evidence to back up your claims you can make any interpretation you want to, whatever makes you feel happy bestie!

[bra1nw0rmz]

*pokes you in the eyes in a very nice and kind way.* Person that made you plushie god here. (Can I have my children back? You stole dem, gimmy em back ples.) Ur pav biker au thingy I am hyperfictioning on it too much, ty for making me get the sillies from dat. Biker pav awsom. ANND BIKER LEVI ALSO IS COOL, I couldn't leave out my soggy dog core buddy.

Owwwe …… my eye

ALSO HI UM…… using this as an excuse to infodump about my biker au…………. I’m a slight nerd abt motorbikes and It’s pavlevi centred so it’s mostly about them

Levi

- Ok realistically he’d have an A1 licence due to being 18 in Europe which restricts the bikes you can ride which is LAMEEEE!!

- In Czech you have to be 24 to get an A licence, meaning you can ride whatever. But idk that feels like too much of an age jump when everyone else is the same age

- Most other places make it so you have to be 21, so I’ll just use that instead. Levi can be 21 in this au

- I mean honestly I could just get rid of the motorcycle licence tier thing all together

- It’s a modern au but cmonnnn Funger universe does not give a fuck about its youth… but eh it’s whatever

- Prefers bikes around 600-800 cc. Fast !! But not exactly death wish fast…….. I mean kinda but still

- He just likes being able to accelerate fast, he doesn’t speed too much

- The top speed he’ll go is 150-170 km/h but Pav coaxes him in races to go faster

- The type of biker that prefers to go on long drives for hourssssss

- He just likes to go on rides to clear his head :3

- Id say he’d have a Yamaha XJ900 Diversion. But I did think of a Yamaha XJ6 Diversion F too

- either way, a Yamaha fan

- I’m going with the XJ900 tho… but hey, maybe it was his first bike, got an older model for cheap and then after a while of dating Pav he got a XJ6 after persistent bugging to get a faster bike

- XJ6 is still comfy for long rides but lighter and faster… more sporty than touring (They are both sport touring bikes)

- I mean XJ6 is only like 10 km/h faster so still staying with the XJ900

- Coz the XJ900 is FAST, 900cc, a very all around good bike. XJ6 is 600cc but faster due to being lighter and more built for speed.

- And realistically he’d only have the XJ900 bc bro cannot afford 2 bikes!

- He is not made out of money and he is not selling his XJ900 !!!! it’s sentimental !!!!

- got sent to military school as a kid by his bitch ass father, so he’s a little fucked up still

- Lived in a community housing place for a while after military school as he found out his mother died and refused to move back in with his dad

- Lives in a small apartment building now

- It’s really small and Pav keeps coming over for long periods so he’s thinking of moving into a bigger place for the both of them

- Has definitely dabbled into drugs(heroin mainly) before but trying to get clean… the long rides help clear his head

- Works at a gun/hunting shop owned by August

Pav

- All his bikes are 1000cc or more bc he’s actually crazy

- Ofc only owns sport bikes, gives them all names too

- While he does go through a lot of bikes, because he crashes all the time and somehow never gets severely hurt, his go-tos are Honda or Kawasaki bikes

- His favourite and longest owned bike is the Kawasaki Ninja ZX-10R… because she was the fastest Pav owned and he has a death wish

- He named her виктория (viktoria)

- She got into a crash so she’s been sitting in Abella’s shop while Pav saves up to fix her

- Takes his side mirrors off to lane split better

- Was a squid before Levi came around (squids are people who don’t wear protective gear) but still only wears heavy protective wear on night rides when he goes super fast

- During these night rides he so takes his license plate off lmaoooo

- Averages 200-300 km/h on the rides 💀

- Does a lotta bike tricks for fun too

- Served in the military for almost a decade and a half before having to retire for an unknown reason but still getting paid (ooooo mysterious)

- Does odd jobs here and there for extra cash

- But um don’t ask where he gets all the money for his bikes !!!!! He’s super cheap in every other aspect of his life

- He’s milking randoms for their money for alcohol, food, fuel, etc lollll

- Pav has gotten kicked out of apartments a few times in which he would sleep on Daan’s couch at his bar

- the type to stare down cops and purposely speed in front of them so they chase him, always leaves them in the dust bc he drives like a maniac

- Got caught once because he didn’t realise a cop was following him and he stopped for gas

- Got out of the speeding charge by giving the cop a blowjob bc I think that’s hilarious 

- Anything to get outta spending money ig 🔥🔥🔥

- All his bikes struggle to not go over the speed limit so he has to backpack Levi when cruising around town

- Pav complains abt Levi being slow and Levi tells him to shut up lol

- purposely makes his exhausts louder than necessary because he’s definitely compensating for something

Daan

- owns a bar that motorcycle gangs frequent a ton

- It’s not even branded as a biker bar, nor is he a biker, it just naturally became one bc Daan doesn’t give a fuck about appearances and treats everyone the same

- Pav flirts with him constantly purely to try and get free drinks. Daan knows this and ignores him

- Marcoh works as the bouncer there (also a biker)

Abella

- local mechanic !!!! Pav’s go to when he can’t fix his bikes himself

- Pav will drop a completely totalled bike in her workshop and tell her to fix it and Abella will tell him to get the fuck out of her shop

- She also rides a motorcycle, I’m thinking a dirt bike of some kind?

- Definitely owns atleast a few different motorbikes though

- She’s an off road girlie at heart

Karin

- Pav smashed her side window clean off in a drive by after she didn’t let him pass her the road so she’s been trying to track him down for a while now

- just wanted to say her road rage is fucking terrible, you are scared for yours and other people’s lives if she’s behind the wheel

- still a journalist, still has anger issues

O’saa

- Owns an occult shop and rips people off with stupid card readings

- magic and stuff still exists btw, albeit heavily faded, he just overprices everything

- Marina works at the shop

- O’saa hardly even runs the shop tbh, it’s mainly Marina doing it

- He’s off doing fuck knows what

Other thoughts;

Pav has a really good poker face. And Levi is autistic so he just believes everything he says, not a single shred of doubt… and Pav is like… in awe……. He knows he’s good at lying but he’s just… Confused at how fast Levi believes him.

“Can I have a 20, I ran out of money and I need gas, I’ll pay you back.”

“ok”

“…….. this is the 6th time I’ve said that.”

“You said you’ll pay me back”

Pav feels guilty for the first time in his life so he actually does pay Levi back

Pav going on and on abt how much he hates cops (he got a speeding fine) and Daan is getting sick of it so he pulls out a photo of Pav in the military. Pav turns his head and refuses to look at it. He is like totally silent and Daan keeps on trying to get him to look at it and he just turns away more and more… Don’t ask how Daan has that photo

This is how Levi finds out Pav was in the military because Pav never says anything ever abt his life

ANYWAY THERES MORE BUT I FEEL LIKE I LOOK CRAZY RANTING ABT THIS AU SO ILL STOP

[winderlylandchime]

1/2 hello, Im back with s5 updates and you guys, I completely forgot what happens in it. The man and I are both in distress now.

Just so you know: he hit play and sat down and just let out a big ‘ughhhhhhhh’ sound. It’s like he’s getting ready for a battle.

‘Okay, let’s fucking go! Brian and Justin living together! Brian being in love! Let’s go! I am okay and not at all stressed’ the ep starts with the babylon mikey/brian scene. ‘Where’s Justin? Why is Mike having a life crisis? (Mikey mentions the surprise trip) reunited? FLYING TO LA?! *pauses tv* EXCUSE ME? When the fuck did that happen? Did i miss an episode?’ The britin phone call happens ‘SO HES JUST IN LA? At an orgy? Nice but what the fuck?! STAY LONGER?! THREE MONTHS?! How long has he been there?! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! I DIDNT SIGN UP FOR THIS! Brian looks hurt! (Brian mentions that hed be pissed if justin didnt go to la) OH SO YOURE THE ONE TO BLAME FOR RUINING MY HAPPINESS? Ohhhh he’s gonna come soon Blondie!! He has a trip planned! Brian what? He said he missed you!’ The scene then goes to JR ‘oh that’s just messed up! You show me Brian and Justin and that one just got head! And a room full of dicks and then surprise BABY! That’s messed up. Gus is watching her like he’s planning to throw her out the window.’ ‘Oh shit so mel and lindsay don’t live together? So theyre lying and playing games? Who thought thatd be a smart idea?’ ‘CARL AND DEBBIE MOVED OUT TOO?! DOES ANYBODY STILL LIVE WHERE THEY DID?’ *deb and carl walk in on Em* ‘FINALLY SOMEONE IS ACTING NORMAL’ ‘BRIAN FINALLY! You have no idea how much I missed you. Let’s go to LA to Blondie!’ And now we are meeting Mikey and Ben’s friends ‘wait that was it on Brian? BRING HIM BACK! Who are they? *looks at me* im sorry. I don’t want to sound like a dick. But Jenny Rebecca sounds so dumb, it doesn’t have a flow. *lets out a big sigh* you have no idea how long I’ve been keeping that in. Anyway who are they? Since when the fuck does Liberty Avenue bother Ben? Their neighborhood sounded boring compared to this. Why is everyone moving?!’ Brian mentions he’s not going to LA ‘what the hell?! what’s going on right now? What is this bullshit?! THIS IS STUPID’ now it’s showing Justin in LA ‘blondie! GO HOME! What the hell is going on? (Keller shows up) GO TO HELL! This is somehow your fault! (And connor shows up for Rage) OH COME ON! NO I TOLD YOU HES GONNA BE A PROBLEM! What the fuck is happening! This is not what I imagined’ Mikey mentions he’s throwing them a party ‘no. No. Nooooooooo! Why is he this stupid? (Ben keeps making references about the apartment) my god, he’s annoying. When did he turn into a middle aged white woman?’ ‘BRIAN! Finally! My baby is a success! *makes that pfft noise* HA imagine Brian owning a house in the country. Lameeee! (Brian sees a motorcycle) YES I SUPPORT THIS BUSINESS INVESTMENT!‘ Brian says Justin isn’t coming back *hand on his chest* ‘HUH? Yes, we are both listening! Explain your failed logic to me, Brian! Three? Six? HOW MANY MONTHS HAS HE BEEN THERE WITH NO VISITS? (It shows Justin and Connot having sex) WHAT IS THIS SHIT?! WHY WOULD THEY SHOW ME THAT? FUCK THAT CONNOR DUDE! WHAT IS HAPPENING?? HE HAS TO COME BACK! I knew LA is gonna be a shit show! NO WHAT DO YOU MEAN TIME TO GO ON WITH YOUR LIFE? You FUCKING ASKED HIM TO MOVE IN?! *looks at me all sad* what?’ And we are at Mel and Linds surprise party ‘oh Mike. Dude why are you so fucking obsessed with her 10th anniversary? Has he ever minded his own business with other peoples relationships? (Everyone jumps out) i would kill him. Even if they did want to celebrate it, why would they do it with bunch of people?’ Ben says that line about how now more than ever it’s important people know that gay couples can be committed ‘oh my god. I would go on a murder spree if he said that to me. Why do you as a grown man need two lesbians to help you feel confident in your relationship? Can he be written off?’ Linds wants to tell everyone and Mikey asks “the right time for what” ‘for you to mind your business. It was about 4 seasons ago’

Hello dear sweet anon!

I remember far less about season 5 than any other season for obvious reasons (I haven’t watched it as often).

But yes Brian saying he would be pissed if Justin didn’t go to LA is… well it’s foreshadowing isn’t it? Always put career first, that’s the Brian Kinney motto.

Ahh Boring Ben and Mikey moving to the boring ‘burbs. Your brother is going to have so much fun with this. He’s going to lovvvvveeeee Eli and Monty. (/s)

When did Ben turn into a middle aged white woman? Good question. Followed up with the “it’s important for people to know that gay couples can be committed” FFS. Assimilationist.

Brian buying Babylon is so iconic. He should have always owned it.