#lambert/aiden/jaskier

[jaskwritesthings]

monthly writing update for january

yep, i'm doing a round up cause i like numbers and stats!

monthly goal: 6200 actually written: 8872 total days writing: 9 percentage: 143% fic focused on the most: accidental warlord jaskier au

and here's a excerpt of my accidental warlord jaskier au, cause there's quite a few geralt stumbles into being a warlord fics but i've not seen one for the bard and i was inspired by this post by @allogrim from ages ago so yeah! also this is an aiden lives au cause why the fuck not. haven't decided if the endgame is geraskier or lambert/aiden/jaskier yet...we shall see how things go. this is set somewhere post mountain break up as well, enjoy!

“None, the mage wasn’t home, but his captive was. My men believed it best to retrieve him and bring him here for you.” Filavandrel says as he waves Jaskier towards the unmoving body. Jaskier frowns, “For me? Why?” “He’s a Witcher,” Filavandrel states, and Jaskier practically flinches back even though the bloody and swollen face before him is in no way familiar. “Fuck me.”

[0dde11eth]

Poor vesemir, he tries to give his pups life lessons beyond being a witcher, but this is the kaer MORONS we are talking about. The following occurs when they are all trying to make dinner one evening.

Papa vesemir: ok boys familiarize yourself with the spices, these can make walking the path a little nicer, as you can look forward to a delicious meal at the end of a rough day

So they go over to the spice rack to read the labels.

Eskel: basil, oregano, cilantro (yuck), coriander, thyme, paprika...

Geralt: hmm, ground pepper, sounds spicy. Hmm, not sure I like the sound of garlic, seems spicier...

Lambert: cinnamon, nutmeg. Cum? DRIED CUM!?!?!

Eskel: what?? Cum?? Is this a prank??

Geralt: did jaskier put you up to this??

Lambert: I'm not fucking eating dried cum!!!

Papa vesemir: Its CUMIN YOU IDIOTS. that's it! Everyone out of my kitchen and go run the walls, everyones getting plain boiled potatoes for the rest of the week!

Geralt: yay! Finally some good food!

Papa Vesemir: OUT!!!

Jaskier (in the background): *dumping a mouthful of the dried "cum" in his mouth and then gagging* that's NOT CUM!

Papa vesemir: *internally* I bet guxart doesn't have this problem with the cat witchers

*** across the continent at the cat caravan***

Aiden: *gagging* that's NOT CUM!

Guxart: *internally* I bet vesemir doesn't have this problem with the wolf witchers

[thedemonofcat]

A contract calls for the return of Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz to Lettenhove. Seeing an easy payday, Lambert and Aiden take the job without a second thought.

A few days after delivering the so-called "Little Lordling" back to his family, they make a startling realization—Julian is none other than Jaskier, Geralt’s bard.

Now, if they want to avoid the Witcher’s wrath for losing his bard, they’ll have to find a way to rescue Jaskier from the mess they unknowingly threw him into.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees daily as he wanders the grounds of Kaer Morhen

(Vesemir is crying in a corner somewhere because his sons are idiots)

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 121

In place of August Ninth, Promptapalooza 2/ Geralt has brought Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, and Jaskier couldn't be happier. It's on the second night there that he says it. Jaskier wakes up and Geralt has left their room. He ignores him the whole day. Jaskier thought that- What with Kaer Morhen- And how close they seemed- Maybe he could- It's pointless... Jaskier waits in their room for Geralt to come back, but he never comes back that night. Jaskier stayed up all night waiting for him to return, but he never did. Jaskier sleeps away the day, since he stayed up all night. He wakes up around dinner time and decides to skip it. What if when he goes down for dinner, that's when Geralt decides to come back? He'll be alone again. But he doesn't come back. Again. The door eventually opens and Jaskier looks over with pure elation only to dim when he sees it's Lambert. "...Uh, Birdie, you haven't left your room." "Our room." "Right. Are y'sick?" "...I'm waiting for Geralt to come back. He hasn't come back ever since I said it." "Said what?" "...I- I told him I love him. And he left. He won't come back. I thought we finally were close enough. I thought after all the years he'd be able to hear me out. I knew deep down he'd never love someone like me, but I didn't think he'd just... Abandon me for the whole winter." Jaskier sighs and turns to look at Lambert, only to see him crying. "Lambert?" Jaskier asks in confusion. "Fuck-" Lambert whispers in horror, before scrambling out of the room.

Lambert finds Geralt and shoves at him like a true brother. "Go find your bard, Asshole!" "What?" "He's in your room sobbing over how you left him cause he's unlovable!" "What!?" "Go fix it! I'll see you next winter." Geralt's brow furrows. "What do you m-" "I have to leave. I have to see someone. I'll tell you all about it next winter- We- We'll tell you all about it next winter. I have to go." "Lambert, what-" "I did the same thing, you idiot! He said he loved me and I panicked and I ran-" "Jaskier?" "NO! Aiden! Idiot!" "Who is Aid-" "NEXT WINTER!" And without another word, Lambert barrels out towards the horses.

[whywouldisayprinter]

Three wolves, a cat, a griffin and a bard walk into a hotspring…

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Witcher Fic Recs

Wanted to make a list of some of my favorite Witcher fics! Most of these are not Jaskier/Geralt, but I did add some, and they are just as good! A lot are also Explicit, and some need an AO3 account to access. Feel free to message me if you want your work taken off this list.

*I do not claim any of these fics as mine, and I give all the credit to the original authors*

"Bat Out of Water" by @tafkamayle One of if not my favorite Witcher fic! 65k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt Jaskier/Eskel Jaskier/Lambert, Vampire and Pirate AU

"The Songbird of The Cats" by @ohwhoopsok I've read this one so many times I cannot recommend it enough! 28k words, Mature, Jaskier/OCs Jaskier/Aiden Jaskier/Lambert, Jaskier becomes the School of the Cats new obsession, little non-human Jaskier

"The Shape of Love" by @jaskierswolf 17k words, Teen and Up, Shifter AU, Geralt/Jaskier, there's a bunch of works in this series and they're all great!

"Fateful Red" by @tafkamayle again, 16k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt, Soulmates and No Powers AU, I love this one so much!

"That's my Jam(bert)" by @greenbirddraws/GreenBird, 14k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, I love them together so much!

"So Tight I'd Bruise You" by @sweetpeapod 496 words, General Audience, Jaskier/Lambert, little hurt/comfort and soft Lambert

"Cat Up A Tree(Going Down on a Witcher)" by Hallianna, 10k words, Explicit, Aiden/Jaskier/Lambert, love this one a lot!

"Bring Your Hunger" by @sweetpeapod again, 2k words, Teen and Up, Jaskier/Lambert, teasing and fluff

"Take a Chance on Second Chances" by Caelanmiriel, 9k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, some courting rituals

"Fingertips" by @ohwhoopsok again, 3k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, Lambert can't get hard, some fluff, this one is super sweet!

"to the wolves" by @besselfcn 1k words, Mature, Jaskier/Lambert/Eskel/Geralt, Past SA, hurt/comfort, revenge, past Valdo/Jaskier

"I Just Want to Feel You" by @stfustucky 6k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Lambert/Eskel, Geralt and Eskel fuck up some aftercare so Lambert has to make things right, super sweet one!

"Soap, and the Scents of Home" by @round--robin/round_robin 32k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Eskel/Lambert, lots of touch-starved Witchers, Scent kink, an amazing series!

"5 Times Geralt was Cat-Like (+1 Time He Was Wolf-Like)" by @xrdragonix 2k, General Audience, Geralt/Jaskier, Wolf and Cat traits, super cute and wholesome!

If you enjoyed any of these please let the authors know with comments, kudos, and/or bookmarking it!

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

[shy-urban-hobbit]

Due to his school being a little more diverse in the contracts it accepts (assassination, theft, etc), you can bet Aiden's going be a pretty passable actor, or at least have some decent improv skills when the occasion calls for it. Jaskier is a bard and a spy - enough said.

So, picture the two of them engaging in a friendly one upmanship of situations they've had to bullshit their way out of while Lambert and Geralt just sit listening in mute horror and strongly considering child harnesses for their SO's because 'fucking hell, how are these two actually still alive??!!?'

Geralt: I'm never letting you out of my sight again.

Jaskier: I know Love. Finish your porridge.

Lambert: Wait, that was when....where the fuck was I during all this?

Aiden: I snuck out when you were occupied at the Inn. We weren't even fucking at that point and you looked like you were getting somewhere with that Skellige bloke, I didn't want to interrupt. Besides, it should have been just a quick in and out.

Jaskier: Is that what Lambert said to the Skellige bloke?

*Lambert starts spluttering and choking around his mouthful of small ale while Aiden just about falls out of his seat he's laughing so hard.*

[ilikebigants]

New headcannon: most Witchers don't have a lot of sex. The rumour that Witchers are really sexually active was started due to Vesemir's slut era and was solidified due to Geralt's escapades.

Everyone else has depression and can't get it up

[blooms-in-april]

“I thought he cared.” Jaskier says. “He never said anything, but I thought he- he's bad with words, bad at expressing his feelings, but I knew- I thought I knew- I felt he cared. In his own way. Until he did finally tell me what he thought of me and well-”

He gestures to the wrecked kitchen.

“Here we are.”

“Here we are.” Lambert says.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57342463

[0dde11eth]

Jaskier: *Screams*

Geralt: jaskier!? What's wrong??

Jaskier: i was cutting jalapeños and rubbed my eyes. I got the fucking juice in my eyes!

Lambert: Quick someone pee on it!

Eskel: No peanut butter!

Aiden: Garlic butter???

Papa vesemir: *already dragging jaskier to the sink to rinse out his eyes* I'm surrounded by idiots

(This is based on an incident at work. I was the one who suggested peanut butter 😆😆😆. Coworker is fine, he was rinsing his eyes out when we made all the terrible suggestions)

[thedemonofcat]

The first witcher Jaskier met besides Geralt was Aiden, a member of the Cat School, who had been hired to assassinate him.

Technically speaking, Aiden's contract was to eliminate the Viscount of Lettenhove, but he was taken aback to discover that the target was actually the same Bard who sings about the witcher he'd heard so much about.

Instead of fulfilling his contract, Aiden and Jaskier found themselves sharing a rather pleasant picnic.

Geralt, unaware of this turn of events, is frantically searching for the Cat witcher who he believes is out to kill his Bard.

At the same time, Lambert, having heard that his fellow witcher is intent on hunting down his dear friend, is racing to find Geralt to prevent him from killing Aiden.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees while watching the Kaer Morons do repairs to the Keep.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 63

After The Mountain™, Jaskier is desperate to prove himself a Worthy Travel Companion™ to Geralt, so he decides to take up alchemy. Perhaps if he gets very good at brewing Geralt's potions, Geralt will find him worthy of keeping around. When Geralt takes Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, he can't help but notice that Jaskier is suddenly spending every possible second with Lambert. LAMBERT. I mean, he loves his brother, don't get him wrong! But Lambert? Geralt's words were cruel, and he was still working out the full apology he wanted to give Jaskier (He deserved better than just an "I'm sorry") but he's worried that he's already lost his chance, as Jaskier is seemingly finding himself a new witcher.

[theblueraven]

AO3 Fic Masterlist

The Witcher:

A cat! In every sense of the word

Jaskier finds a cat that is not all it seems

In the reflection of a cat's eye -- Jaskier & Aiden (Familial)

Julek (Later Jaskier) stole a kid from the cat school. After both presume eachother dead they have to go through the world and survive.

What I deserve -- Young Vesemir x Jaskier

Jaskier is transported 100 years in the past and immediatly finds an injured witcher. luckly this one seems to like him.

Lady of the Lake

One shot form a contract mention in 'What I deserve' with a young!Vesemir.

Star wars:

Clones are People not Property

Anakin realises that Palpatin is a bad person and has a emotional breakdown.

To rewrite the nighmares (or the 1000 year old sith plan) with your dick -- Cody x Obi-wan (EXPLICIT SMUT)

Cody is getting nightmars of Obi-wan dying due to the chips and accidentally rewrites order 66.

Wild Child

Young Child Obi-wan finds himself with the true mandalorians and causes some problems.

Another day to freeze, another day to fall another day to fly

Obi-wan has a panic attack after gettign back from Mela/daan and Qui-gon helps him calm down and feel better.

Ring Around the Rosie -- Fox x Quinlan Vos

Quinlan is stuck in a time loop and draggs Fox into it. Fox trys to end it (ambuguous ending)

The Obelisk -- Obi-wan Kenobi x Jaster Mereel x Kal Skirata

Obi-wan is transported into a diffrent timeline where the Mandalorian empire never fell.

Corrupted Chips -- Obi-wan Kenobi x COmmander Cody x Alpha-17

Five years after the fall of the republic the clones are still in use. The chips -never designed to last so long- have started to breakdown and corrupt themselves.

Gravity Falls

30 Years of Wilderness

Oneshots of Feral Ford and his famliy trying to help him adapt.

Axolotl Sightings

Oneshots of various Gravity falls Charecters meeting the Axolotl when they need it. Not that they know they just meet a god.

Will be updated as I write more