#lambert/aiden/jaskier

[jaskwritesthings]

monthly writing update for january

yep, i'm doing a round up cause i like numbers and stats!

monthly goal: 6200 actually written: 8872 total days writing: 9 percentage: 143% fic focused on the most: accidental warlord jaskier au

and here's a excerpt of my accidental warlord jaskier au, cause there's quite a few geralt stumbles into being a warlord fics but i've not seen one for the bard and i was inspired by this post by @allogrim from ages ago so yeah! also this is an aiden lives au cause why the fuck not. haven't decided if the endgame is geraskier or lambert/aiden/jaskier yet...we shall see how things go. this is set somewhere post mountain break up as well, enjoy!

“None, the mage wasn’t home, but his captive was. My men believed it best to retrieve him and bring him here for you.” Filavandrel says as he waves Jaskier towards the unmoving body. Jaskier frowns, “For me? Why?” “He’s a Witcher,” Filavandrel states, and Jaskier practically flinches back even though the bloody and swollen face before him is in no way familiar. “Fuck me.”

[0dde11eth]

Kaer morons playing hide and seek one day

Geralt: first one found. (No geralt hiding behind the curtains isn't a good hiding spot)

Eskel: second one found. (He's a bear of a man, it's harder for him to find nooks and crannies that he can fit into)

Lambert: third one found. (He giggles when someone walks by his spot, which he denys profusely)

Coen: the fourth one found. (He's patient and clever. He finds spots never before used by any of the morons, which isnt easy considering how old they all are and how often they play.)

Aiden: second to last out. (He's a cat witcher he can hide in plain sight. He painted himself so he looked like one of the statues. He couldnt resist and jumped at lambert who squealed in terror.)

Jaskier: last to be found. He just got lost in the castle and everyone was in a panic until they found him

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Kaer Moron Breakfast Cereal:

Vesemir’s favorite cereal is Raisin Bran. You know why.

Eskel’s doesn’t have a favorite cereal but will have a bowl of whatever is available to achieve a balanced breakfast.

Geralt’s favorite cereal is Shredded Wheat because it looks like hay bales and he likes pretending he’s a horse.

Lambert’s favorite cereal is Reese’s Puffs because they look like bombs and he loves peanut butter.

Aiden’s favorite cereal is Life because he likes to fill the box with lemons when he’s done with it and leave it to prank Eskel.

Ciri’s favorite cereal is Lucky Charms because she likes marshmallows.

Yen makes ice coffee and claims it counts because the ice is the cereal, and it has milk and sugar like cereal. Jaskier will make it for her in a bowl any chance he can get to subtly call her out on it. She just picks up the bowl and carries on like it’s normal.

Jaskier’s favorite cereal is Frosted Flakes because Tony the Tiger is hot.

@0dde11eth @everything-but-the-not-natural

[thedemonofcat]

A contract calls for the return of Viscount Julian Alfred Pankratz to Lettenhove. Seeing an easy payday, Lambert and Aiden take the job without a second thought.

A few days after delivering the so-called "Little Lordling" back to his family, they make a startling realization—Julian is none other than Jaskier, Geralt’s bard.

Now, if they want to avoid the Witcher’s wrath for losing his bard, they’ll have to find a way to rescue Jaskier from the mess they unknowingly threw him into.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees daily as he wanders the grounds of Kaer Morhen

(Vesemir is crying in a corner somewhere because his sons are idiots)

[geraskierfanficprompts]

“Lambert, have you and Aiden ever fought?”

“Bunch of times. Fought the first time we met. Stabbed each other too.” Lambert smiles, reminiscing, but he soon schools his face. “Why the fuck do you want to know?”

Geralt hesitates, clearly not wanting to explain himself, but he eventually says, “Jaskier. We fought. Thought maybe you could…”

Though Geralt trails off, Lambert can fill in the rest. “You want relationship advice? Really?”

“Forget it.”

“Hey! Sit the fuck back down! Did I say no? Did I? I didn’t, you coward.”

“Not a coward,” Geralt growls. “I’m not gonna stay just to be insulted.”

“Do you want advice or not?” Because Lambert practically breathes insults. He wouldn’t change that just because Pretty Boy is having love problems.

With a snarl, Geralt plops back down in his seat. He folds his arms and gives Lambert a look that says, “Well?”

Damn, Geralt would willingly subject himself to more of Lambert’s mockery. That’s real love right there. “Okay, so were you the ass or was he?”

THE LAST COMMENT IS SO GOOD PWGIPWAGHWAIGAW I love this

[whywouldisayprinter]

Three wolves, a cat, a griffin and a bard walk into a hotspring…

[scrambleddragonegg]

jaskier: geralt of rivia, you will look me in my gods damned eyes and you will tell me what you are sorry for or i will walk my ass down this mountain

the rest of the room:

geralt: i… uh…

jaskier: i’m a cat, i’d survive it. now— *grabbing a sword and embedding it in the wall next to geralt’s head before leaning in* tell me

geralt: *visibly swallows*

aiden: this feels too intimate for me to be watching! joke or not that is my father of surprise there

lambert: could he really survive the trek back down the killer?

eskel: he’s bluffing but geralt is so scared he’ll leave again that he’s not thinking straight

yennefer: geralt hasn’t thought straight a day in his life

ciri: why are all three of you like this?

yenn: because we love to embarrass you, dear

ciri: *mimes throwing up*

aiden: i’m with her on this one

guxart: well this looks familiar, doesn’t it vesemir?

vesemir: we will not be hashing out old fights in front of our children

~later~

jaskier: i’m sorry i had to be so rough with you, dear heart. you don’t talk unless i push and i know you would never have found the words but i think i needed to hear them anyway

yenn: weak. he deserved that. don’t apologize

geralt: hm…

jaskier: unlike you i don’t enjoy literally torturing my lovers, yenn

yenn: a shame really

geralt: yes you do, what else do you call training?

jaskier: i KNEW you liked it when i trained! is that why we never train together?

yenn: i don’t think he could handle that

jaskier: oh it’s happening tomorrow because i’m telling aiden about this over breakfast and he’ll go straight to the old cat

geralt: see? torture

jaskier: and what about it? you can take the man from the trials but you can’t take the trials from the man. we cats tend to play with our food

[letmelickyoureyeballs]

Witcher Fic Recs

Wanted to make a list of some of my favorite Witcher fics! Most of these are not Jaskier/Geralt, but I did add some, and they are just as good! A lot are also Explicit, and some need an AO3 account to access. Feel free to message me if you want your work taken off this list.

*I do not claim any of these fics as mine, and I give all the credit to the original authors*

"Bat Out of Water" by @tafkamayle One of if not my favorite Witcher fic! 65k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt Jaskier/Eskel Jaskier/Lambert, Vampire and Pirate AU

"The Songbird of The Cats" by @ohwhoopsok I've read this one so many times I cannot recommend it enough! 28k words, Mature, Jaskier/OCs Jaskier/Aiden Jaskier/Lambert, Jaskier becomes the School of the Cats new obsession, little non-human Jaskier

"The Shape of Love" by @jaskierswolf 17k words, Teen and Up, Shifter AU, Geralt/Jaskier, there's a bunch of works in this series and they're all great!

"Fateful Red" by @tafkamayle again, 16k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt, Soulmates and No Powers AU, I love this one so much!

"That's my Jam(bert)" by @greenbirddraws/GreenBird, 14k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, I love them together so much!

"So Tight I'd Bruise You" by @sweetpeapod 496 words, General Audience, Jaskier/Lambert, little hurt/comfort and soft Lambert

"Cat Up A Tree(Going Down on a Witcher)" by Hallianna, 10k words, Explicit, Aiden/Jaskier/Lambert, love this one a lot!

"Bring Your Hunger" by @sweetpeapod again, 2k words, Teen and Up, Jaskier/Lambert, teasing and fluff

"Take a Chance on Second Chances" by Caelanmiriel, 9k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, some courting rituals

"Fingertips" by @ohwhoopsok again, 3k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Lambert, Lambert can't get hard, some fluff, this one is super sweet!

"to the wolves" by @besselfcn 1k words, Mature, Jaskier/Lambert/Eskel/Geralt, Past SA, hurt/comfort, revenge, past Valdo/Jaskier

"I Just Want to Feel You" by @stfustucky 6k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Lambert/Eskel, Geralt and Eskel fuck up some aftercare so Lambert has to make things right, super sweet one!

"Soap, and the Scents of Home" by @round--robin/round_robin 32k words, Explicit, Jaskier/Geralt/Eskel/Lambert, lots of touch-starved Witchers, Scent kink, an amazing series!

"5 Times Geralt was Cat-Like (+1 Time He Was Wolf-Like)" by @xrdragonix 2k, General Audience, Geralt/Jaskier, Wolf and Cat traits, super cute and wholesome!

If you enjoyed any of these please let the authors know with comments, kudos, and/or bookmarking it!

[blooms-in-april]

“I thought he cared.” Jaskier says. “He never said anything, but I thought he- he's bad with words, bad at expressing his feelings, but I knew- I thought I knew- I felt he cared. In his own way. Until he did finally tell me what he thought of me and well-”

He gestures to the wrecked kitchen.

“Here we are.”

“Here we are.” Lambert says.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/57342463

[phantomstatistician]

Fandom: The Witcher (All Media Types) (Top); The Witcher (Videogame) (Bottom)

Character: Dandelion

Sample Size: 26,687 stories (Top); 2,965 stories (Bottom)

Source: AO3

[0dde11eth]

The kaer morons when they are in an interrogation room with officers:

Jaskier: *Rambling on for hours about everything* he's not trapped with them you see, they are the ones trapped with him, and they WILL listen to every stray thought in his head

Geralt: *eyeing the cops down without blinking. Makes them more uncomfortable than they make him*

Eskel: states that he wants to invoke his lawyer and nothing else, then goes into a light meditation until they show up

Lambert: *very confused* which crime am i here for?

Aiden: *strolls through the front door of the interrogation room* that's 14 times I've escaped! How about the best 16 out of 30? This is the most fun I've had in years!

Valdo: *sobbing grossly and insisting they got the wrong bard! It was jaskier!*

Vesemir: he's enjoying himself actually, he's better than any lawyer that's ever existed. If he can talk his way around hundreds of super human angsty teenage witchers (and Lambert and jaskier) then a couple of cops are child's play. So he's quoting laws, and policies and playing mind games until every cop/agent/intern/judge/jurer/etc. has admitted defeat and he's free to go

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

[thedemonofcat]

The first witcher Jaskier met besides Geralt was Aiden, a member of the Cat School, who had been hired to assassinate him.

Technically speaking, Aiden's contract was to eliminate the Viscount of Lettenhove, but he was taken aback to discover that the target was actually the same Bard who sings about the witcher he'd heard so much about.

Instead of fulfilling his contract, Aiden and Jaskier found themselves sharing a rather pleasant picnic.

Geralt, unaware of this turn of events, is frantically searching for the Cat witcher who he believes is out to kill his Bard.

At the same time, Lambert, having heard that his fellow witcher is intent on hunting down his dear friend, is racing to find Geralt to prevent him from killing Aiden.

[fandom-junk-drawer]

What Jaskier sees while watching the Kaer Morons do repairs to the Keep.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 121

In place of August Ninth, Promptapalooza 2/ Geralt has brought Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, and Jaskier couldn't be happier. It's on the second night there that he says it. Jaskier wakes up and Geralt has left their room. He ignores him the whole day. Jaskier thought that- What with Kaer Morhen- And how close they seemed- Maybe he could- It's pointless... Jaskier waits in their room for Geralt to come back, but he never comes back that night. Jaskier stayed up all night waiting for him to return, but he never did. Jaskier sleeps away the day, since he stayed up all night. He wakes up around dinner time and decides to skip it. What if when he goes down for dinner, that's when Geralt decides to come back? He'll be alone again. But he doesn't come back. Again. The door eventually opens and Jaskier looks over with pure elation only to dim when he sees it's Lambert. "...Uh, Birdie, you haven't left your room." "Our room." "Right. Are y'sick?" "...I'm waiting for Geralt to come back. He hasn't come back ever since I said it." "Said what?" "...I- I told him I love him. And he left. He won't come back. I thought we finally were close enough. I thought after all the years he'd be able to hear me out. I knew deep down he'd never love someone like me, but I didn't think he'd just... Abandon me for the whole winter." Jaskier sighs and turns to look at Lambert, only to see him crying. "Lambert?" Jaskier asks in confusion. "Fuck-" Lambert whispers in horror, before scrambling out of the room.

Lambert finds Geralt and shoves at him like a true brother. "Go find your bard, Asshole!" "What?" "He's in your room sobbing over how you left him cause he's unlovable!" "What!?" "Go fix it! I'll see you next winter." Geralt's brow furrows. "What do you m-" "I have to leave. I have to see someone. I'll tell you all about it next winter- We- We'll tell you all about it next winter. I have to go." "Lambert, what-" "I did the same thing, you idiot! He said he loved me and I panicked and I ran-" "Jaskier?" "NO! Aiden! Idiot!" "Who is Aid-" "NEXT WINTER!" And without another word, Lambert barrels out towards the horses.