#lalala i need to be killed

[smile-files]

your friend, your servant

(a short hurt/comfort fic with henry and dalston, not long after the events of miracle mask)

...

a gentle knock on the door.

how unusual, thought alphonse dalston. nobody ever visited. well, aside from those couple times dandy old hershel showed up during the masked gentleman investigation, but that was weeks ago. he sat up and paused, wondering he if he was just hearing things; with a shrug, he settled back down.

another knock.

with a groan, dalston begrudgingly hauled himself off of the couch, where he'd been oh-so-comfortably reading a book, which he closed and placed on the side table. "i'm comin', i'm comin'," he called as he made for the door, straightening out his shirt on the way.

upon swinging the door open, he found the last man he'd ever thought he'd see standing in front of him.

"good morning, mr dalston," greeted henry ledore, in his typical flat affect.

"what the hell are you doing here, ledore?" dalston asked loudly, standing in the doorway. really, what the hell WAS he doing there? ledore, of all people…

henry cleared his throat. "i understand you own a large property and only enlist the help of one servant. i can help maintain your estate."

dalston was left agape. "…what?"

"i can repeat myself, if you wish." eternally patient henry. damn him. "i apologize if my language was unclear…"

"no, i understand what you said, ledore," dalston snapped, "i just don't understand why you said it. why on earth would someone of your stature be crawling to me for work? as a servant, no less?"

henry laughed lightly. "you forget, mr dalston, that all of my wealth belongs to master randall."

"yes, right…" dalston's voice tapered off in thought. henry ledore, his financial competitor for the past 18 years, didn't even want any of the massive fortune he'd built - that which dalston had been so long trying to exceed. their rivalry was entirely one-sided. "but that doesn't make you a servant," dalston continued. "again."

"i never stopped being a servant," henry said. "my 'stature', if you'd like to call it that, was always master randall's."

"then why aren't you licking bratscot's boots right now?" dalston asked with a smirk. "i mean, since you have been so obsessively dedicated to the boy all this time, i'd think you'd be chomping at the bit to be working for him again."

a sigh. "he wasn't so keen on the idea of my resuming work as his servant. that is why i've come to you, mr dalston." henry's gaze was intense, determined.

dalston shook his head, baffled. "and if i turned you down too, would you go to some other rich sap and ask them the same?"

"i'm afraid they all regard me too highly to ever allow me a position beneath them, no matter how illogical that may seem."

"illogical, eh…?" dalston paused. "…hey, then why'd you think i'd accept? because i've sullied your good name in public, repeatedly? ha!" with a laugh, and a hearty pat on henry's back, dalston finally let him into the house.

dalston resumed his seat on the couch, leaving henry standing awkwardly in the entryway. he picked up his book and began leafing through it.

"y'know, it is kinda infuriating," he mused, smiling, "that you upstaged me at literally everything then revealed you weren't even doing it on purpose. there i was, thinking i had some fighting chance of beating you and rubbing it in your face, but now i know you never even cared about what i was doing. all you cared about was your 'master randall'."

"my apologies for seeming aloof," henry replied. "you are correct, mr dalston: preparing for master randall's return was my top priority. unfortunately, i could pay little mind to other affairs."

"including your old friend dalston?" dalston grinned. "was i too far beneath your lofty, noble goals?"

henry gave a start. "i did not realize you saw us as friends. i apologize for not treating you with more warmth."

"of course we're friends, ledore! what on earth are you talking about?" dalston shut his book and put it down. "come, sit. stop standing there like a piece of furniture."

obeying, henry came around to sit next to dalston on the couch. it was, indeed, a comfortable couch; henry smiled to himself.

"i admit," dalston said, "for a while i did think you were a slimy, greedy little bastard. i saw you building a fortune off of those ruins bratscot wouldn't shut up about, with his girl as your wife no less… i mean, you never told me why you were doing any of this! really, can you expect me not to call you a snake?"

"the most important thing was for me to help master randall," henry replied, unhelpfully. "though you, too, were romantically interested in angela, were you not? i understand our 'marriage' may have upset you on a more personal level."

dalston continued, ignoring henry's apology. "and y'know, as kids, i'd always talk about making it big in the hospitality business… but there you were, with your chain of luxury hotels, bringing in the bills! getting rich off of my dream! why, so i started my own hotel chain here in monte d'or too, and i started being massively successful, just like you - except you never batted an eye. mr ledore was too big for me now. and then you accused me of destroying monte d'or? ha! you really shouldn't be surprised i hated your guts. because you never explained a damn thing…"

henry opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off.

"and what's it all for now? heh, i'm getting pissy with a saint." dalston laughed. "at least now i know i was wrong to hate you. that's nice, at least, so we can go back to being chums. no hard feelings, eh?" he nudged henry with his elbow.

"i harbor no ill-will towards you, mr dalston," henry stated. "your reaction to my behavior was due and deserved. i hope i can be a better friend to you in future, now that i am not so preoccupied."

dalston grunted, but spoke not a word. they sat in silence.

"y'know," dalston said at length, "i was glad when mr bratscot kicked you out. and i was glad you became independent. he'd shut you up in that house for hours, only sending you out to do chores… i was hoping that with all of that out of the way we'd finally get to see you again."

dalston was staring in the middle distance, and henry did the same, not knowing what to say.

"but then you shut yourself up in those ruins," dalston went on, "and then in the reunion inn, or in your study, doing to yourself what was done to you… except i thought you were being the cruel master over yourself like mr bratscot. selfish. choosing money over the rest of us."

henry bit his lip.

"why did you never explain anything? i know i would tease you when we were kids, but…" dalston paused, his expression softening. "why, do you not think we're friends, ledore? is that why you were confused earlier? …is that why you never told me about anything?"

a brief silence. "i assure you, my inability to justify my actions to you was not meant to be a personal slight. and… i am pleased that you think we're friends. but i was not expecting you to say so."

dalston smiled sadly. "but do you want me to think we're friends? do you want to be friends, ledore?"

"it is your decision, mr dalston."

"if i said we weren't, i don't think you'd get upset and disagree with me."

"i apologize."

dalston sighed. here he was, getting pissy with a saint again…

they sat in silence for a moment, uncomfortable with each others' sadness.

suddenly, dalston met henry's gaze. "you were my friend before anything else. you could never be my servant."

in turn, henry stood up with a sigh. "then i must bid you good day, mr dalston. i apologize for bothering you."

dalston grabbed his hand with both of his and pulled henry back down onto the couch.

"do you seriously not know how to be friends with someone without being their inferior?" dalston asked, incredulous, henry now forced to make eye contact. "you don't have to leave my house just because you're not working for me. what, is that why you left yours?"

henry's hand was still in dalston's grasp. he'd been startled by the whole motion, by dalston begging for his company with his hands. eyes wide, henry didn't know what to say. his mind was on the feeling of being wanted there, on that couch. of his hand in dalston's grasp.

"you're very good at saying nothing." dalston exhaled and released henry, expecting him to stand up again. he closed his eyes, expecting henry to be gone when he opened them.

"master randall has always been my closest friend. he's always treated me like his brother, and yet he was always still my master."

"hm?" dalston opened an eyelid, curious.

indeed, henry's gaze had travelled to the door… but he'd stayed, perching himself uncomfortably on the edge of the couch; though he still faced away from dalston. "the two have always been the same to me," he continued in a soft voice.

dalston sat up and listened to him, eyes fully open.

henry bit his lip and continued. "do you think master randall and i would've been real brothers if he weren't my master? if he were just… randall?"

"he's always seen you as his real brother."

henry said nothing for a moment.

so dalston waited.

"it is true," henry murmured after a while, "if you said we weren't friends, i wouldn't disagree with you."

"oh yeah?" dalston replied quietly.

"yes. though i would still be sad." he smiled unhappily. "though i suppose that wouldn't mean anything, if i never explained it?"

"i'd think you hated me."

"and i wouldn't blame you."

suddenly, dalston pulled henry to his side and hugged him tight, arms wrapped around his thin form. henry was initially frozen like a deer in headlights, just as he was when dalston had grabbed him before…

henry's mind raced. he is holding me. he wants me to stay. i am in his house. i am on his property. i am doing something wrong. i should leave. he is holding me. he wants me stay. i am wanted here. i am wanted here. i am wanted here. i am wanted here.

…henry let himself sink into the warmth of being wanted. he became nearly limp with relief, as if his loneliness were an old, cramped exoskeleton dalston had gently slit into and helped him shed, letting the vulnerable, delicate animal within finally feel the heat of the sun, so similar to the heat which had always pulsed in his heart… he felt so weak, yet so alive, within dalston's embrace… and so tired… it took a lot out of him, letting himself be loved, instead of hiding himself away…

dalston was amused to find henry fallen asleep, but smiled to himself. he let me hold him, he thought. he wants to be here. and look… now he gets to dream again…

he gently laid henry down on the couch, shifting over to make room. he settled in with his book again, just as he was before henry had ever arrived… except now someone got to be comfortable on the couch with him. he was glad henry had visited.

[dizzybizz]

captain jasmine "jazz" drake broke into my brain and is now living there rent free help

[optimistic-autistic]

hyperfixiation is a bitch

[animutate]

im goingto kill everyone what the fuck is going on at all. hi.

[afterglowsainz]

hi sweetheart !!

can you write like the reader not being popular like jude, like nobody knows her, shes in college while hes a footballer:(( so so cutesy jude wouls probably make her famous AF!!!?

end of the world | jude bellingham

summary: no one knows who jude is dating until her college graduation

fc: candela gallo

a/n: the idea for this came to me in a dream so thanks for requesting it <3

—

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liked by frienduser1, frienduser2 and others

realmadrid.wags jude bellingham was seen at the universidad complutense de madrid graduation ceremony very close to a mysterious girl, we think it might be the same one he went to miami with

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[missaengg]

Who Are You?

Pairing: Rafayel x f!reader Tags: nsfw, mdni, smut, some fluff and humor if you squint, kitchen sex, nipple play, p in v sex, creampie, pouty Rafayel Word Count: 2526 “Who are you?” Oh god, not this game again. Rafayel was pouting because of some unknown transgression you had committed against him, and he demanded restitution for your offense. A sinfully, delightful repayment. One you were only happy to oblige. ao3 link here.

“Who are you?”

Oh god, not this game again. You glanced at Rafayel, clocking his over exaggerated pout. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring you down like you were an absolute god damn stranger in his kitchen. You could feel your blood pressure rising. As much as you loved this man in front of you, it was no secret he could also very much be a child. A fact Thomas would only be too happy to confirm.

“How did you get into my house?”

A frustrating, annoying child.

“Rafayel, will you please—“ 

“I don’t listen to people I don’t know.”

You groaned. “Will you please stop acting like a five year old and—“

“Lalala, I can’t hear you.” Rafayel plugged his ears with his fingers and sang obnoxiously at the top of his lungs.

You let out a slow, agitated sigh. The last time he played this game, it had taken an hour of coaxing and a bribery of kisses to get him to stop, all because you had forgotten to send him a ‘good morning’ text that day.

“Oh my god, what have I done now?”

Rafayel stopped. He stared at you with those gorgeous blue and pink eyes of his as if you were an absolute dunce for not knowing the transgression you committed against him. “You really don’t know?”

“No!”

Rafayel’s eyes deeply bore into yours, and after a long pause, he asked, “Who are you again?”

Ugh. This… This bitch! A deep, aggravated growl exploded from your throat. Sometimes… sometimes you really wanted to slap him silly. He was driving you absolutely fucking insane! Why couldn’t he just tell you what was upsetting him?

“Rafayel, I swear to god I’m going to kill you if you don’t tell me what I’ve done to upset you.”

“How the fuck do you not know?” Rafayel petulantly asked. “It’s so obvious.”

“Clearly it’s not because I don’t know!” You fought off the urge to shout a string of expletives. If you could read his mind, you would in a heartbeat, but unfortunately, because you were only human, you needed him to tell you in words why he was so upset.

Rafayel crossed his arms again, his pout deepening on his face to the point you wondered just how much farther his bottom lip could jut out. He scowled at you from across the kitchen island. A stalemate, one where the first to break would lose.

You played his game back, crossing your arms, raising an eyebrow. Your steely eyes drilled into his, daring him to continue.

The clock on the wall ticked away.

Tick… 

Tick… 

Tick…

You raised an eyebrow at the man standing in front of you as if to ask, ‘Well, you going to tell me or not?’

Tick…

Rafayel’s eye twitched.

Tick…

He scrunched his nose into that childish expression you adored — most of the time.

Tick.

“You didn’t come see me last night!”

There it was. Victory. You suppressed the urge to smirk in celebration.

“I see,” you drawled.

Rafayel’s pout grew deeper, his bottom lip indeed jutting out even further than you thought possible.  A furious blush spread across his cheeks and up his ears, a consequence of breaking his composure. “I demand restitution for your offense.”

You slunk towards him, keeping your brows furrowed in mock concern. “What did you have in mind?”

Rafayel opened his mouth and closed it, his pouty lips puckering as he deliberated on what would be the most appropriate form of repayment.  Approaching him, you placed your palms on his chest, slowly sliding them up until they were locked around his neck.

“What can I do to make it better?” you purred into his ear, now a dark beet red from how flush your body was with his. “Hm?”

Rafayel faltered, especially as you nibbled on his earlobe. You could feel him tense each time your teeth lightly pulled on the soft flesh of his ear, his resolve chipping with each caress of your tongue.

“Fuck, cutie.” Rafayel’s ragged breaths tickled your neck. His hands slipped under the hem of your shirt, his fingernails digging into the skin underneath.

“Is this restitution enough for you?” You tongued Rafayel’s neck where you could feel his heart beating rapidly, grazing your teeth right above his artery. 

“No,” he forcefully groaned, a shudder running through him when you suddenly nipped him. Rafayel ground his hip against you, his arousal demanding stimulation.

“No? How about if I do this?” You trailed your hands down his back to his ass grabbing both cheeks and jerking his hips into you.

“No…”

You slowly undulated your pelvis against his painfully hard erection eliciting choked groans from the stupefied man. Grinning wickedly, you sensually pressed your lips to his, biting his bottom lip and then caressing it with your tongue, all while your hips moved against his arousal. Rafayel shivered, his breath catching in his throat, delicious little breathy moans spilling from his lips.

“Is this enough for you?”

A guttural choked groan escaped Rafayel when you slipped your hand into his pants, stroking his twitching member. A dark heat smoldered in his hazy eyes. He looked alluringly erotic.

“Stop— stop teasin’ me,” Rafayel husked, burying his head in the crook of your neck. His hands roamed up and down your back, fingernails burrowing in your flesh with every squeeze you gave his shaft. “Hah…”

The hot puffs of air from his breaths wisping on your neck sent tingles tickling down your spine. Your own arousal began to pool, a needy throbbing growing between your legs. Closing your eyes, you subconsciously rubbed your pelvis against his trying to find some relief from the swelling tension.

“I’m not teasing,” you fired back, “I’m making up for my… my transgression.”

Rafayel whined when you removed your hand from inside his pants, but quickly realized you stopped to unbutton them instead. ”Want more… more than this.” 

He wasted no time kicking off both his pants and his underwear discarding them haphazardly off to the side. Your eyes darkened at the sight of him standing at attention, swollen to the point of bursting. You licked your lips. His tip glistened with his obvious desire.

Rafayel roughly spun you around against the island, bunching your skirt up around your waist and yanking down your damp underwear.

“Rafayel,” you squeaked in surprise. “We cook here.”

Rafayel ran his length through your folds, coating himself with your slick. “Don’t care. S’my repayment,” he mumbled, lining himself up with your entrance. In one swift go, he plunged in, sinking in until he was fully buried.

You let out a sharp gasp, a flash of white overtaking your vision. You were practically dripping, but it didn’t matter how ready you were for him, he somehow always managed to stretch you out to the point you felt as if you’d split in two.

Rafayel gripped the sides of your hips, hissing at how readily you sucked him in. “Fuck, cutie, you feel so… so good,” he choked, his greedy hands kneading your breasts, fingers pinching with no regard as to whether he caused you any pain.

Each hard pinch sent a spark shooting through you, the pain only adding to the pleasure blooming within your lower abdomen. You snapped your head back, gasping at a particularly rough pinch.

Rafayel lowered his mouth to your neck, sucking hard, no doubt leaving a dark bruise. His mark.

“Raf, not where people can see,” you weakly objected.

He thrust into you slowly, taking his time to pull out and sink in his entire length. “But then” –he swirled his tongue against the darkening bruise– “how’re people” –he moved up higher on your neck– “going to know” –he sucked down hard again– “y’were a naughty girl?”

He bit down and pinched your nipple simultaneously, and you keened, the combination of pain and pleasure Rafayel provided you too much. You trembled in his hands, so hard you had to brace yourself against the counter if only to prevent your shaking legs from crumpling beneath you.

“How else am I going to hear you” –he snapped his hips– “make that lewd sound?”

You moaned. Rafayel entered you so deeply, you swore you could feel the tip of his cock in your throat.

“Besides, s’my repayment, right? Can do… can do whatever I want.” Rafayel rolled against you in a slow, steady pace, and his bulbous tip dragged sinfully along your walls, teasing that sensitive patch of gummy flesh that left you writhing in his hands.

“Raf, harder,” you whined, pushing your hips back, desperate to hear the slap of your skin hitting his. 

“Fuck,” Rafayel rasped under his breath.

He pulled out, and before you could even begin to process how empty you felt without his presence inside you, he whirled you around and grabbed you by the waist, hoisting you onto the kitchen island. He moved so quickly you didn’t have time to yelp or note how cold the granite felt on your ass.

Rafayel’s lips came crashing down on yours. His tongue flicked your bottom lip. Your head spun trying to keep up. You parted your mouth, allowing him to dart in and twine your tongues while your heavy breaths mingled together. You curled your fingers into his hair, raking your fingernails against his scalp.

“Y’drive me… crazy,” he breathed.

“Should… be saying… the same thing… about… you,” you quipped in between kisses.

You tugged on the hem of his shirt. You wanted to feel him, all of him, against you. Breaking away, Rafayel ripped the damn thing off of him and tossed it somewhere you couldn’t see because he immediately attacked your own right after, pulling your shirt over head and capturing your nipple between his teeth.

You arched your back, tugging his hair a little harder than you intended. You heard him mutter something you couldn’t quite catch under his breath, too absorbed in the delectable way his mouth ravaged your inflamed peaks. 

“Raf, would you just… just fuck me already,” you demanded, the unbearable ache between your legs now too agonizing to ignore. 

Your plea seemed to light a fire within Rafayel, and he gripped you firmly by your thighs, hauling you towards him until your ass hung precariously off the edge of the counter. Holding you in place, he dove in, and without waiting, he bucked his hips. You gasped. Your arms instinctively rose to his shoulders in a futile attempt to brace yourself from his assault.

Your cunt sang, avariciously clenching around his shaft with no intention of letting go. Unlike the slow, methodical thrusts from before, Rafayel pounded into you without abandon in a dizzying speed. 

He was bullying your cervix, but it wasn’t enough. You wanted more. 

You hooked your legs around him driving him in as deep as he could go. “Deeper, Raf,” you pleaded, catching his eyes. “Need you… need you deeper.”

Rafayel gazed into your eyes, and then abruptly rammed your hips.

“Fuck!” you screamed, reeling from the sudden sting of pressure radiating through your lower stomach.

“That deep enough… for you?” he growled.

Stars dotted your vision, and all you could do was mewl as you clutched his shoulders with all the strength you had left in your fingers. You heard Rafayel snicker, but his moment of triumph was short-lived when your legs locked around him even tighter.

Shit, cutie,” he rasped.

Your clit brushed the jut of his pelvis every time Rafayel even shifted. Your head flopped back, your eyes closed. “Feels… fuck… feels so… good,” you whimpered.

Your bodies rocked together. The coil within you grew taut, a bundle of energy ready to burst and fling free with the slightest provocation.

“Raf…” you whispered hoarsely.

“Shit, cutie, I’m–” Rafayel took in a deep, shuddering breath. “I’m–”

His body tensed, and then he spilled into you, jerking with every spurt of his hot cum. You enveloped his head in your arms, stroking the back of his head as he helplessly clung to you.

“I love you… so… so much… so… fuck, cutie… don’t even… know,” Rafayel babbled, his voice a strangled, hopeless mess.

His sweet, earnest cries set your heart aflame, the tipping point for your own release, and the coil within you snapped. You felt yourself clamp down around his pulsating length, and your body roiled with ecstasy, shattering into a million pieces.

“God, Raf…”

Your body was on fire. Your blood roared in your ears, and you captured his lips with your own, falling deeper into your shared intoxication. The two of you shared kiss after dizzying kiss, riding out the blissed-out haze of your releases together.

You planted one last kiss on his swollen lips before pulling back. “So, was that enough of a repayment for you?”

Rafayel nodded blankly, and you tittered at the blank glaze in his eyes. 

“Good.” You brushed your lips on the tip of his nose. “Next time, can you please just tell me why you’re upset instead of being difficult about it?”

You watched as clarity returned to Rafayel and he wrinkled his nose.

“Baby, I’ve waited 800 years for you. The least you can do is let me pout about petty things.”

You rolled your eyes. “We’re still holding that over my head, are we?”

“Yep,” Rafayel drawled, smirking at you. “For as looooooong as I waited for you.” He exaggerated the ‘o’ in the word ‘long’ as if to make his point.

You sighed and shook your head, but a smile danced on your lips. “Fine,” you conceded. “If it means I get a good dicking like this in the process, I guess it can’t be helped.”

You cackled with glee as Rafayel sputtered, another blush coloring his cheeks. You held his burning cheeks in your hands and tenderly pressed your lips to his.

“I love you,” you murmured, peering into his eyes. “Even when you’re being a child.”

This time, it was Rafayel who rolled his eyes, but he pounced, bombarding your face with wet kisses.

“Rafayel, stop,” you squealed and made a fruitless effort to push him away.

“No,” he protested.  “I waited 800 years for you. Least you can do is let me love you as much as I want.”

You melted, wrapping your arms around his neck and leaning into him with your full body, a wicked thought occurring to you. “You know,” you whispered suggestively into his ear. “We still haven’t christened the grand piano sitting in your living room.”

You snickered when Rafayel choked, but yelped when he swept you into a princess carry. 

“Should probably fix that, shouldn’t we?” He devilishly grinned and strode out of the kitchen with you kicking delightfully in his arms.

“Raf, put me down,” you cried as you swatted at his shoulder.

“No, we’re going to go christen the piano.”

You rolled your eyes again, but you hummed, snuggling into his hold. As much as Rafayel drove you insane, you couldn’t stay mad at him, not when he warmed your heart just as much. 

Maybe the childish nature of your boyfriend wasn’t so bad after all.

[mjfs-heat-seeker]

An (extremely) oversimplified summary of AEW recently:

MJF: GIVE ME MONEY. BUY MY MERCH. PLEASE. IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO GET HERE AND WHILE I PROMISED TO BE MEAN, SO FAR I HAVE ONLY DONE NICE THINGS. Oh but this British mark can—

Will Ospreay: I’m the Billy goat, I got this shit in the bag. MJF? Whos that? Meh, probably nobody, who cares! Lalala!

Swerve Strickland: I am going to kill Will Ospreay at Forbidden Door. That is not hyperbole, I am physically going to kick his head off of his shoulders if he touches this belt one more goddamn time.

—————————

Kyle O’Reilly: Am I doing this right, Mark?

Mark Briscoe: [unintelligent ramblings of a proud mad man]

—————————

Willow Nightingale: Kris Statlander I’m gonna fuck you up, but first I need to be here for—

Orange Cassidy: EVERYONE LEFT ME AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’M DOING ANYMORE. I’m so tired… [Sobbing as Where Is My Mind plays in the background]

ZSJ from across the room: …ORANGE BOLLUCKS, TAKE YOUR TROUSERS OFF!!

—————————

The Elite: We run this… bitch.

The Acclaimed: AYO YOUNG CUCKS, WHY DON’T YOU CHOKE ON THIS— [mic cut]

—————————

This has been an oversimplified summary of some of the angles leading up to Forbidden Door. Thank you for your time…

… /j

[yanderenightmare]

Do you normally get any 'ew, you're disgusting' shit in your inbox? I just now posted my first incest fic and got one like 'i hope you don't have any siblings lalala'. Prior to that, I was like "how do these authors go untouched by antis?" but then I realised that it was a tad bit naive of me lol. I was going to respond with a taunt but decided to just delete it because it wasn't worth the effort.

Are they frequent and are they easy to ignore?

On Dealing with Haters/Critics

Good question! I was actually going to make a post on this, as others have asked me the same thing, so here we go!

♡ Personal experience!

I get my fair share of hate from time to time—more often when I publish things that are more taboo than other excepted things—for example, like you say, incest, as well as bestiality, wide age gap, born-sexy-yesterday readers, etc.

It's an odd thing, as haters will often accept the fact that I write rape for titillation but will take issue with these other tropes. But anyway, we can talk about the nonsensical opinions of haters all day, but it wouldn't really do us any good.

So, here's my advice.

♡ First off, accept that haters are gonna hate!

Some people won't like what you write. And that's fine. The problem is that they feel the need to tell you that—at which point, you'll just have to console yourself by telling yourself that no decent person would be rude to a total stranger whom they don't know the first thing about and, therefore, whatever they have to say warrants neither second thought nor reply.

With that being said, however...

♡ You gotta do what feels right!

Engage or don't engage, do what you need to feel at peace. Sure, you can be the so-called bigger man and ignore all the meanies, but you absolutely don't have to!

Of course, we can be cool as cucumbers and say, "Not worth the effort," but who are we kidding? This is Tumblr, and you're allowed to rant when you want in whatever manner you want!

So, if you feel you gotta bite back to maintain your sanity, then that's what you should!

However, I do believe there's a way to go about it!

♡ Never go to bed angry!

This is my personal advice, but if you ever choose to acknowledge hate or critique, do so with tact and with based and factual arguments instead of slinging heated insults in return.

This way, you walk away from the fight feeling good about what you've said and not worse off than before. In other words, don't stoop down to their level.

I actually feel in many ways that answering hate can be rather therapeutic this way, as you've succesfully turned something negative into soemthing positive!

♡ The difference between hate and critique!

Actually doesn't matter. You're not really obligated to answer either if you don't want to.

But for the sake of differentiating the two: "Ew, you're disgusting" is hateful slander, but "Incest is wrong, and you're actively condoning it by writing what you write" is a genuine critique.

And it bears repeating, you don't have to address either because you don't owe anyone anything.

People are entiteld to their opnions just as much as you're free to disagree, and ignore if you want!

But something I've found is that explaining it to those who don't understand why we write such things, and furthermore why people want to read it without being interested in such things in real life, is actually quite a rewarding thing to do!

And by that, I mean it might make your critics and haters understand and rethink their comments, but it can also help your existing fans deal with their own similar self-loathing, and lastly, it's even great for your own mental health for when you yourself doubt your own mental standing!

Personally, in regard to the example I used above, when I get hit with the "you're condoning this and that" I just play the argument that those who play violent videogames aren't condoning the killing carried out by their avatar. Naturally, when roleplaying a fictional version of ourselves, we're not actually playing as ourselves.

Some people have a very hard time understanding this for some reason.

But anyway, moving on.

♡ Final advice!

Ignore and delete any and all the dumb, off-handed comments you feel like. If and when you want, return their rudeness with a cheeky smile and a slap on their ass. Be as cordial as you can be but as sassy as you feel you must—like an aged Queen who drinks her fair share of likewise wine.

But whatever you do, don't ever make things personal!

Though that's also my personal advice. I think, by making personal attacks, you're not being factual anymore, and you'll only feel worse for it. And by personal attacks, I mean calling people ignorant, dumb, awful, etc. You can, of course, say that their chosen words were in ill taste, but going after them themselves won't make you feel better. So, I'd suggest avoiding it.

Anyway, hope this helps!

[astrologanize]

june 2024 sun sign horoscope

aries sun: hmph, it seems that there may be some careless decisions that catch up with you this month but you will also be realizing where you've been wasting energy and what risks are worth taking vs not. risk will be taking on a practical meaning for you as this month presents you with very little choice but to change your routine. emotional baggage will be surfacing as the universe pops a few of your balloons and you're gonna have to sit (helplessly) in those feels & endure - it will be okay

taurus sun: it's a month for y'all to show lessons learned so you will be placed in situations that grant you the opportunity to demonstrate your ability to find proper resolve & acceptance. do you want to stay stuck in a situation/cycle? let's hope not. try to set aside your pride and insecure reactions and actually allow for genuine understanding/rapport

gemini sun: you're definitely going to be considering the longevity/trajectory of certain parts of your life throughout june. overall your month will be one thing after another happening, i'm not seeing too much interference, but in the back of your mind you will be in a processing mode. this year there has been a lot about what you're holding onto/what you need to release and with jupiter's ingress into gemini you're going to start finding your freedom. now isn't quite the time to make decisions but it is the time to get motivated with assurance in your capabilities

cancer sun: what truly fulfills you? what do you definitively feel and what emotions are running amuck? this month you're going to have moments of regressing, you may behave brash at times, and it's really you trying your hardest to deflect & put a cap on your emotions because you're having a difficult time maneuvering proper self-care for yourself. there are in fact things that you need to work on this month and in order to do so you need to stop trying to have control and walling people off. no sticking your fingers in your ears and singing 'lalala i don't care i don't wanna deal with this'

leo sun: oh goodness...i am 57439753% seeing a theme of unexpressed feelings, resentment, bitterness, and emotional hurts that you are not over yet. let's try not to go overboard with speaking our minds about these things because although it is terribly important that you do finally express your grievances, let's not snowball a situation & make it worse or unnecessarily burn bridges. you will be feeling quite formidable this month and ready to take on challenges, which does involve you doing things out of your comfort zone. just remember to keep your dignity, keep things cute and know that the energy you put out comes back to you - maybe you can even correct some wrongs that you played a part in

virgo sun: 'decode' by sabrina carpenter, 'landslide' by fleetwood mac, there's this theme of coming to terms with a chapter being over and the aftermath of that, and/or with you realizing that this is what something is - this situation/person isn't changing/it's settled and you have your answer(s). so this month is a month for you to tend gently to this process of maturation with this current reality, you may not be feeling inspired at all and you may be feeling like you have no clue about anything right now but things are unfolding as they shall - remember to be kind to yourself

libra sun: welp, somehow once again (same as in april) you will be having opportunities to show lessons learned. this time around there is deeper introspection and any illusions that have yet to be revealed will be revealed/any falsities will find truth. other people will have a lot to say this month, you will have a lot to say this month, and some shit talking is bound to happen - it seems that softening/having kindness will be highlighted though so perhaps you'll choose to kill 'em with kindness or you'll be reflecting on times where you extended too much grace to someone. regardless, try to be the bigger person and take the high road

scorpio sun: i guess whenever a sign is in need of a change the song "something has to change" by the japanese house comes through because that's exactly what came to mind. you're going to be considering what in your life has actually been productive & conducive for you, what has brought you unhappiness, where you have gone too far, and throughout june there will be plenty of moving parts as your sense of stability is rearranged. plans will fall through, your routine is having to change, and ultimately you will be having to adjust like crazy. the world is not necessarily your oyster this month, try to recognize behaviors/situations that have gotten out of hand and contain yourself

sagittarius sun: this month you're going to be meditating on reaching your potential, whatever that means to you, and in the process you will be thinking about what has come to pass and what you have yet to figure out. there may be past connections that you're in your feelings about this month, there may be issues within a connection that you're not dealing with yet, there is just something in your life that is leaving you feeling unfulfilled and you are not addressing it - perhaps you don't know how. there will be distractions throughout june, things that interfere with productivity/work and this may involve actual changes when it comes to your work/job. now is a time for you to embrace some growing pains so try to lessen your expectations and demonstrate restraint

capricorn sun: there is an overarching sense that something is thrown off for you, it's almost giving stir crazy...like feeling stuck and unhinged. throughout june you're going to be trying your darnedest to maintain objectivity and sensibility as you persist through a lack of assurance...like yeap i am choosing to be cool calm & collected, am i actually confident at all in what i am doing? nope. try to remember to breathe deeply this month and avoid being overly reactive - some solutions may be simpler than you think

aquarius sun: the girls are fighting!!! lol. something is not going to go your way this month and you are noootttt going to be happy about it, my goodness. if you have plans in mind for june then they may not happen or they may not happen the way you want, you may reach a dead-end with something/someone, whatever it is...you're like...this is not acceptable and i want to fight about it. how about instead you practice your ability to be an aquarius that knows how to work with others and work through things with others, try to be reasonable rather than manic

pisces sun: this month there is an overarching theme of honing in your energy and maturing but not in a way that is going to be experienced as heavy. throughout june you will be feeling pretty good about yourself and in light spirits, you will be socializing and adapting and being confident amongst others. there may be some gossip this month, maybe a lil petty drama, whether it's you involved in it or spreading it or just being adjacent to it. your best advice at this time is to be assured in your standards/moral, hold yourself in a healthy regard - not in a judgmental/nitpicky one, and be direct. try not to baby anyone this month and be overly attentive/accommodating either (i suppose that is a part of holding yourself in healthy regard)

[digitulworld]

spooky month theories and things i noticed so far lalala

-jack isnt part of the cult, and his actions are not intentionally meant to keep john from his goal, but like captain and shotgun man, he was hired specifically so his weaknesses would slow john down and prevent him from investigating the cult. jack is easily distracted, scared of clowns, and seems to not care enough about the cult compared to john. in one of the endings, although john looks out the window suspiciously, jack has a smug look, as though he isnt taking john seriously. intentional or not, its this action that allows ignacio to burn the evidence

-ignacio was ordered to burn the evidence in johns house, but, presumably by his own decision, kept photos of johns family. it may be to gain further knowledge on his family for potential blackmail. whether the attempt to burn the photo of a younger looking john is for personal reasons or not is also unknown. it is also unknown why ignacio would wait for jack and john to leave the house so that they would survive the housefire, but it might be to eventually indoctrinate or sacrifice them

-the candy dealer, due to having the same va as john, might actually be a relative of john. possibly his brother, because so far, out of all the hatzgang, robert is the only one with unconfirmed parents. he has three confirmed siblings, an uncle, aunt, cousin, and grandparents, but no mom and dad. there is no explanation or reasoning for why roberts parents havent made an appearance or mention yet

-there is a track titled "aeternum" that plays during the spooky month secret endings. aeternum means forever and eternity. this track plays when a cult member or multiple appear on screen, dead or alive. however, this track also plays in strebers rehearsal, when the scene cuts to a closeup of his now cracked photo

-frank is either a victim, servant, or has some affiliation with the cult due to him possibly being part of the undead. we know his black eyes are natural, since we see a small photo on johns corkboard of him wearing a disguise containing a mustache and white eyes. frank also shows a visual similarity to the frankenstein character trope with a massive body and square head. hes also been seen kidnapping children and selling drugged treats, similar to what mr clown and the candy dealer do

-on the topic of the undead, streber is not confirmed to be a part of it, but his short foreshadows the details of his fate, all except livs comment on him becoming a part of the undead. evermores lines on bobs attacks, saying its unknown if anyone got killed or if its just a show, along with strebers theatrical performance as a vampire, and skid and pump believing his injury was faked once they left the haunted house, leaves questions as to why bob didnt kill streber, but rather just ate his arm. i cannot find a reason why he didnt eat him in a way that would be fatal to streber, unless he knew the amount of blood loss caused from losing an arm would kill him. bob is confirmed to dismember his victims after killing them, and streber is foreshadowed to be part of the undead

-semi related to the above observation, bob is confirmed to have a kill count of at least 8, but has only had a single joke killing in his episode with the pelo cameo. bob was specifically targeting skid and pump that night, which is why he stalled and ate candy instead of directly killing lila and kevin. he also only ate strebers arm, and stole the hatzgangs candy instead of murdering them. the only ones he actively stalked and made an effort to kill were skid and pump, even after needing to be revived by the pendant multiple times

-on the topic of the pendant, pumps eyes only turn blue when faced with a supernatural or demonic entity. when bob was run over, pumps eyes turned blue. there is a slight chance that the eyes of the universe was either allowing bob to revive, or was possessing him

-the cult has been creating the happy fella dolls with the sole purpose of being possessed. dexter was forced into the doll, as stated by pelo, and as a result he now sits in a bucket in the attic observing the items around him that he can now conclude are important, especially the mannequin which has been seen moving on its own multiple times. dexter also knows about the spider, and the thieves needing the items not for themselves, but for a higher up. it may be thematically important that the cult created the dolls, so that dexter can use this knowledge against them if he were to make a return

-pump is fascinated by eldritch monsters and befriended one, while susie is infatuated with demons and the underworld, creating a school project themed after hell and drawing demons during her free time. this may or may not be important, but the siblings do share a love for powerful beings and their interests could be relevant to the plot in later episodes

[grahamcarmen]

I feel like one the most underrated aspects of the entire train thing is that Carmen doesn't give a shit that gray could have killed someone during their time away, when it is literally the reason she left VILE and is just like " join my side, be with meee", then in the opera episode she's like "gray would never hurt me by his own free will, he had to do it for VILE, he gets a pass", she wouldn't say this for anyone else, she's hypocritical and I love her for it, she's not wrong.

Also player must have been thinking through the entire date thing and thinking Carmen needs to get better standards for dating.

Ok you say that and all I can think is shadowsan after he's given her the " we are on the same side, always have been", band aided her wounded pride over the dollar, and got her out of a sticky situation again in the s2 opening, and obviously has carmens excitement that he could be on the same side, she gives such a hard

>:( hmpf!! If you're gonna steal go back to VILE !!!!!!

And chief who did kill her father is someone carmen does go. " Well her on my side wouldn't be so bad" but she still controls all the terms on how they're gonna reunite or work together every time and just refuses to after the initial revelation

She makes them explain themselves and only softens when she finds their answers finally sound

....

...gray hasn't done anything to say hes on her side yet on the train. Hes still an enemy and he gets a pass back if he accepts AND LIKE YOU SAID HE HAS SPENT THE TIME NOT WITH HER DOING SOME VILE* THINGS. And she legitimately still said. My side.

[It's really crappy that you think that's ok but come here. And literally all water under the bridge]

Like mindblowing is carmen lays down her strict moral code and revealing that Gray is her wiggle room exception for affection

He may have tried to kill her but she's literally rolling her eyes and telling player

" you don't have all the facts" " on direct orders from VILE 😗" anfndmmdmdk and it just so AGDJDKNDNFJFJ????

She knows is always one reason I'm sooooooo about them. She doesn't not know

She just really wants him back, or him with a good future, or VILE to keep their grubby mitts off him

She will leave him but it actually takes a little more than the initial betrayal for her to accept that she has to move on for now (FOR NOW ...👀)

Player was literally getting all exasperated when carmen lets gray come back into the conversation

CRACKLE AGAIN?

You're playing with a live wire! svdjjdkdkkdkd amazing

And prioritizing HIS SAFETY

wat why- player flabbergasted (and its so delightful to watch)

Literally he's listening to his best friend make as many excuses as she can to say 1 coffee ☆ with gray 🙏he hasn't harmed a fly in 24 hours

And like the actual date he really might have been like :)....Carmen this isn't normal actually but you seem relieved that he's safe so ig

Sbdnkdkdkdkd PLAYER IS YOUNGER THAN HER AND LISTENING TO THIS!!!

AND THE HIMALAYAS HE'S SAYING BACK TO ENEMIES AND SHE'S like?

What about love and change and hope and peace huh ✌️😃

😮‍💨...fine...we're enemies again put em up

LIKE HELLO? no she is not doing the

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 for just anyone who wasn't gray after all that drama

+ on what you said...the train thing that implies she forgiving him for a lot of unsaid crimes is there too

[AND SHES STILL SAD HES NOT THERE WITH HER AFTER THE DRAMATIC BLOWOUT]

And she's also not wrong shdnkdkdkdk

Hes squishy and buried deep is the fact that he did not like doing that. Very pointedly his only regret. And would honestly make a great addition to people who love her- i mean help her team red...and love her!!!

He just needs to step up

(She wants to believe in you crackleboy ☆)

...and he does ♡

It truly is a sight to behold carmen lalala-ing her way over to claim Gray like it's nothing... like sincerely ☆

[that-one-kiddo-in-the-back]

Is anyone else tired of bickering siblings? Nope, just you.

I decided to rewatch Lily’s videos from New to Old mainly because I am very bored at work... this is gonna be a long one, so buckle up.

This was probably the worst topic for Lily to talk about, especially since this was posted after the "I've been harassed and lied about for 12 years"

Now we all know this video was made to talk about ATLA, make a jab at Courtney, and bring up how much she hates she-ra and SU and since she never answered her own question of "is it weird for siblings to cuddle?" I will.

The "normalization of toxic siblings" I'm sorry to say isn't toxic. Siblings fight all the time, not because they have no ability to talk calmly. It's because they are stuck together for the majority of their lives, and they but heads more often. There's a difference between sibling bickering and siblings threatening to kill each other, and more often than not, a siblings fighting will just yell how much they hate each other. If you're threatening to kill your sibling and you mean it, that's not a healthy relationship.

Zuko and Azula: Of course, you can't have a video about siblings without bringing up Zuko and Azula or Katara and Sokka... Lily talks about how Zuko and Azula aren't the tragic siblings that were doomed from the start, and both had the chance to get a way and break the cycle... which like isn't true. Zuko had the advantage of being able to rely on his uncle, while Azula didn't really have anyone to go to. She couldn't hide out at Mai's house her parents were fire nation politicians. She couldn't go to Ty Lee as she ran away from her own home and, in the end, both betrayed her, leaving only her father, whom she already knew favored her over Zuko. She also talks about how Azula, for the most part, was also trying to protect Zuko and how deep down she really loved Zuko... which, while not wrong, is also not correct. Something she seems to have forgotten is that Azula is a lot like her father to the point that it scares her mother. Azula manipulates people into getting what she wants, something I'm sure she picked up on by watching Ozai. When Azula came into Zuko's room in the middle of the night going all, "lalala daddy's gonna kill you." That's not her being worried for Zuko and trying to save his life. That's her taunting him. When Ursa dragged Azula out and demanded her to tell her what the hell Azula was talking about, then she changed her tone to sound like she was worried about Zuko only for Ursa to turn around and you see the victorious smile on Azula's face. Zuko and Azula are the perfect toxic siblings molded that way because of their father's abuse.

Katara and Sokka: Probably the most healthy and normal sibling relationship they fight and argue, but they still protect each other when you watch Katara and Sokka. You can almost see you and your sibling in them. Sure, you fight with each other and end up saying things you don't mean, but at the end of the day, you are willing to die for them.

Tai and Kari: I have never seen digimon as I'm more of a Marvel disk wars kind of person, so I've got nothing...

Lily ends up dropping the word Enmeshment, which she defines as "when two or more family members can not live or make decisions without each other beyond comfortable personal boundaries"

This is what you DON'T WANT to be with your sibling or when writing siblings. If you are so close with your sibling that you're nothing without them, then you really need to spend some time a part because that's not healthy at all. There is no good enmeshment! being close with your sibling is one thing. She brings up how, depending on the culture, it's fine when it isn't. When someone says you need to stop what you're doing because your dad is in the hospital, that's not enmeshment. Having your father talking about cheating on your mom and expecting you to be on his side, that's enmeshment.

Lily seems to have forgotten that you can be close with a sibling or family member without it being something disgusting. There's a difference between dropping everything to help your family and dropping everything to be with your family. Siblings and families don't have to say out loud "I love you" because most already know that.

So, is it weird for siblings to cuddle? The answer depends. The reason Lily couldn't answer her own question was because it's a really stupid one. If you're able to keep that platonic good for you, keep it that way.

[magiturge]

it’s 2 in the morning, why not..

as many hank thoughts as i can muster before i get too tired to type on my phone lalala this wont be all of it because i need diagrams for the one im rolling in my head

• they are a thief of a myriad of things whether it matters to them or not. a thief of other people’s lives, a thief of mundane belongings or a thief of body, it can be many things.

• pertaining to the thief of body idea, i like to believe that a large portion of his body did not originally belong to it. having died so many times and likely dying more times than we have seen on screen, i think his body being made up of stolen parts adds to the grizzly idea of a killing machine. and frankly, i doubt in the grand scheme it does not really matter to it. based on behaviors observed ingame, in cartoon and some questions answered during krinkels streams, i feel that functionality will override sentimentality, if any. if it works it works, if it wasn’t mine then oh well. it is now.

• blood type could either be AB+ or AB-, i haven’t decided what is funnier. being AB+ is convenient but nothing can be perfect.

• speaking of the amalgamation of parts, a thief of body, i think being made of many insignificant parts from those long passed will inevitably result in failings functionality wise that need to be accommodated for. maybe the heart doesn’t beat as well as it should, the pacemaker jumbling about with damaged nerves that scream to heal together and do something properly. damaged vessels and tissue making it difficult to perform some functions without aid.

• one of these being compression garments that aid in his ability to enact venous return due to damaged vessels not being able to maintain high enough blood pressure. sure, he will indeed work hard enough to have the support of skeletal muscle and the respiratory pump but i think there is definitely a possible issue regarding the valves and their ability to close in order to prevent back flow.

• may or may not have an artificial, shoddy pacemaker to aid in a steady depolarization of the heart in order to beat properly.

• may suffer from more bouts of referred pain than normal that lead to it on occasion having to be checked on due to what it may imply. referred pain is a phenomenon where an injury may be at one part of the body but is felt in a different part. believed to be due to interconnecting nerves, i think hank dealing with referred pain more than normal could be something. it may pose a dangerous threat to him due to his pain tolerance being higher and that it could possibly dismiss the pain in its arm or what is left of its jaw as something not important. you can decide if hank ignores it and pushes through or could take the precaution and recognize it could cause more of an issue to ignore it.

• due to all these parts not fitting together in a pleasing manner, i like to reflect that slightly in my design when drawing it with its clothes on. if you saw that one small note i made on a doodle, you’d see that i made it important to say that asymmetry is important for when i draw them. while i’m not the best at anatomy i want to reflect the unevenness of his body somehow, in such a way you could pass it off as just an odd fashion choice.

• another choice when drawing is when drawing the hands atleast in grunt form, i try not to keep the tips of the fingers even. i feel that their nails come in a variety of bruised shades from fighting, some are chipped, some are blooming red and purple underneath and maybe one is just plain gone with tender skin beneath it doesn’t really matter to it fortunately. this is why in some doodles hank may have full set of claws, mixmatch or none.

• zzz zz..

ouh im tired now lala lala zz

[bittersweetbark]

Ok, seriously - take a breath and bear with me for a sec. (I didn't say "calm down" because no one calms down after having been told to calm down.)

We don't know anything right now, except that Ciri's out there fighting. It's a bit beyond me how you come to any conclusions regarding her general attitude - she's strongly disaggreeing with the situation we're being presented with, there's nothing hinting at the broader story. Personally I really like her being passionate about helping the innocent, actually.

The way she's fighting looks at first glance like using signs and at second glance not: She's not forming signs. With what I first also thought was an Yrden net she draws energy/chaos from the earth with an open palm and then throws it at the monster. That's very much how her powers work in the books (when she gets overpowered by the fire). The things she does look like further developed Quen, Igni and Yrden but also really aren't the normal sign effects (except for the Quen bubble, but a shield is a shield). I see two explanations and there are probably many more:

a) Those aren't signs because Ciri has no use for lowly witcher mutation magic. She's a Source. She has her own magic in her blood. She isn't made a witcher, she works as a witcher and weaponised her powers. And came up with a shield, fire and a stunning effect, she probably also has "ice" and "push" or more. We need this stuff to play a game with her.

b) What y'all assume and I, too, would find a narratively weak possibility: CDPR had her mutate. Doesn't make sense but maybe they simply lacked my ingenuity. So what. We'll get a weak explanation in order to get workable game mechanics.

You know what we're going to do with that? Ignore it. You don't have to adher to it in your head or on ao3. You'll never fathom how much TW3 shit I ignore, retcon, re-interpret and ignore some more. I googled how to avoid having to fuck Shani. I go lalala every time some village woman is wearing those flimsy v-neck sweaters. I hate it how illoyal Geralt acts when those misogynist arseclowns on Skellige harrass Yen, we have no option to deck Lugo and Yen doesn't get to make his hemorrhoids bleed or something. I hate the whole part where Dijkstra betrays us like that. WTF is Emhyr's motivation to never help out the slightest (apart from "game mechanics", which is the very probable answer).

Yadda, yadda, yadda, so many things I ignore in my favourite game (and every other game) and get the chance to fix in fics.

Getting to play "kill that magnificently drawn super creepy monster as ya girl Ciri" sounds super fun to me. If CDPR indeed fucks up any of the greater story I'll bitch about it in 6 years' time, once we get the game, and then ignore the shit out of it. And yeah, so you know, that includes the possibility that they kill off Emhyr. Because if they do: no they didn't. See? *raspberry*

[digilentbish]

Watching AoT experience pt 14

Sasha 😫😫 Whyy

Well I don’t know exactly how, but it went really fast from lalala killing big mindless titans to a truly horrifying cycle of hatred.

“We were thought all about them. They are savage and cruel and whatever we might’ve done to them, it wasn’t half as bad as what they deserved. Those devils aren’t like us.”

It was one of the saddest things I heard. Spoken by brainwashed child. Gabi’s statement really shows how this kind of rhetoric and dehumanization of Eldians is used to justify aggression towards them.

With every fight and every dead soldier, more resentment builds, leading to further conflict. It’s literally unbreakable cycle that perpetuates violence.

What a delightful show 🙂 now I have to verify my moral compass and think about, you know, humanity and staff 😫

+ I love Hange so much.

++ my Angry boy eren is unhinged and I’m worried about him he needs a mental Health check

[electricvinyls]

BATES LOREE!! read if you want!! It's a lot but this character is probably a very healthy outlet for me and i really do care about him

STUFF UNDER CUT!

PUBERT 'BATES' 🩻 | he/it | Transgender fag, passes as cishet| 39 y/o | Autism + BPD

Childhood stuff uhm i forgot to add. He grew up lower middle class, his house was very small, rural farmhouse almost. He was undiagnosed with autism for a long time, it was too expensive for his family. But they knew something was up, he was seemingly the "outcasted" kid. Weird and antisocial. He COULD fit in, he was good at almost copying the way other kids act, but his mom often urged him to just be himself. He never had a girlhood, he was always rugged and wasn't nurtured to lean any which way (gender wise). He was raised catholic an continues to have that faith. His father was a bit more lost in his faith, but his views were harmful. He looked down on his wife, having the traditional views. They would fight a lot, and it didn't bother Bates until it got physical. His father would hit and yell and break things. Bates says it didn't effect him, he went to therapy for a while in his teenage years, but he grew such a deep rooted disgust and hatred for his father after that. He almost felt like he needed to harm his father. It didn't help that his mother watched so much true crime, and documentaries.

He had started killing and dissecting small animals, his mom wasn't too fussed, if anything she just nurtured him further, hoping that she could love anything wrong out of him.

His most vivid childhood memory was a documentary in which they said "most serial killers start with small animals" and he felt this nasty weight. He burrowed into his mom's arms and sobbed "I don't want to be a serial killer"

All she could do was hold him and kiss his head "don't you worry baby, that won't happen"

THROES UP I'M SO UOSET I LOVE HIM SO BAD

he does go on medication for his BPD for a few years when he was like 17. He chose to stop taking them so he could learn to control his emotions more tho.. on his own..

Ok LORE STUFF later on lalala ↓

Bates works as a Doctor, occasionally dabbled in scientific work when his specialties are needed (surgery stuff).

He Is autistic so he's incredibly blunt and almost rude off the job. As a stark contrast, when he's ON the job he's incredibly charismatic. He's kind and so well put together, people can go on about how much they enjoy Bates as a doctor.

Medical work and anatomy is Bates special interest, and his job satiated his need for all of that for a long time. When he got into his mid 30s, it definitely got worse though.

He had made a mistake when he was treating a patient. He gave them a sedative, a very strong one. Normally he's very on top of what vials have what, but this? This was bad. He messed up BAD.

Instead of doing the right thing, and telling someone immediately, he was incredibly conflicted. Swallowing hard and sweating through his clothes, because he could hurt this guy. This patient of his was always a little rude, and well he had very...strange views. He was woozy and it wouldn't hurt?

He dissected that fucker right there and them, with nasty dull shit he scrounged out of old cabinets and drawers.

Since then he had this affinity and almost hunger for the blood and guts and anatomy.

Eventually he started resorting to working late nights, charming his way with the receptionist ladies that "oh that patient never came to my office? I'm not sure what happened" only to drag a poor jackasses body home to dissect and ruin.

His basement was disgusting, gross and piled with organs and very specific body parts. He only kept the parts he wanted to study, until he was done then he disposed through very tough means. His preferred method was acid and then just trashing everything else with his normal garbage. These dickheads didn't deserve their own trashbags, just the same old double bags he used for paper and food and whatever shit.

He only got SLIGHTLY found out when he tried to pounce at a man much stronger than him, he made a mistake in how much sedative to give. He was now getting sued for medical negligence (a nice way to put it). He needed a good lawyer, his charm and how well put together he seemed would only get him so far. So he finds caine. Caine Somsri. A hard worker, strong stomached so he wasn't bothered by Bates' charges, hell he didn't even mind that outside of his office? Bates was a bitch. They would work together to get past this small hurdle in Bates' career, small ? Not so much. It kept building up. Loss of files, people claiming malpractice towards them, bates even being accused of nearly killing a man with METH. Bates seemed appalled, disgusted, that his need to help people and take care of his patients was being misconstrued. Mistakes happen, while yes medical mistakes can be incredibly dangerous, no one has died, been TRULY harmed, he had done nothing. And Caine was going to fight TOOTH and NAIL to for Bates to be proven innocent.

They get close, very close, over the years that this case takes. Caine becomes very fond of bates, his bluntness, deadpan expression and monotone voice. Unfortunately, Bates gets ahead of himself. And providing sedatives for Caine has him realising. He can take advantage of this. He can have caine. Past the skin, past his bones, he can have caine wholly. From the inside out.