#lads you know it's bad when i start watching other things an actor was in

[iicraft505]

I think I would probably find Jeeves and Wooster funnier if I could understand a word they were saying. Simply because I'd be able to understand what they were saying and therefore the comedy would land.

[unserenedreaming]

HOTD WRITERS I AM IN YOUR WALLS

This episode pissed me off in more ways than one:

To start us off, the very first scene. I knew it was too good to be true. I knew the writers would never make that crazy Blackwood boy our beloved Bloody Ben. When I saw the subtitle name as 'Davos Blackwood' I won't lie, I prayed it was one of the other Blackwood lads behind him. But then he spoke again, and again it said Davos. WHO. THE. FUCK. IS DAVOS. The only Davos' I know are the onion knight and the third and final husband of Nymeria of Ny Sar. Now I'm worried we're gonna get Mary Sue Blackwood instead of our glorious Black Aly. One minute into the episode and I already wanted to die.

Rhaenys being this cautious little mouse when in the books she was ready to fly and die for Rhaenyra and supported Joffrey as the next lord of the tides. Her recharacterization is an utter disservice, since I know Eve Best would have killed it as canon Rhaenys.

Ormund being called Aegon's uncle instead of Aegon's cousin. But this isn't surprising seeing as how last episode Otto called Jaehaerys his grandson instead of his great-grandson. Lazy writing to the T.

Ulf the White saying he was the son of Baelon the Brave. Baelon, who turned away his own very beautiful sister because he mourned the death of his sister-wife his entire life, just slept with some random Kingslanding girlie. Like no. Ulf the white was originally a dragonseed on Dragonstone, and thought to be a grandson of Jaehaerys through Jaehaerys sleeping with a woman, and Ulf being the child of Jaehaerys's bastard. Baelon would never. And Ulf's characterization is confusing. He has stated he's a diehard Rhaenyra and Jace stan, which is nice I guess, but it makes his

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

betrayal down the line all the more confusing. Or is the first battle of Tumbleton also going to be a 'mistake'?

And, of course, the meeting in the Sept. Perhaps one of the dumbest things I've ever had to watch. Why would the Queen of Westeros risk her life to have a little chat with the woman who helped steal her throne? The fact that she was able to just waltz in and sit down next to the dowager queen is ridiculous, even with her being in a Septa costume she probably bought from ye old Spirit Halloween. I know it was supposed to show Rhaenyra feeling reaffirmed as Viserys's heir and to show Alicent realizing she mighta fucked up, but the entire concept of the two of them meeting feels like fanfiction. Utter tomfoolery.

One of the few things I did like was Ser Gwayne Hightower, and that's only because he is also sus of Cole. He's the only bitch in that faction I have even a modicum of respect for. Well, him and Helaena, but mostly I just pity her. I also liked seeing Milly again, that was a fun surprise. Daemyra ain't dead y'all. Love survives.

To round out this angry post: all my hate goes to the writers, not the actors. They're just doing the best they can with the scripts they've been given. If you hate on/harass the actors you're as bad as the writers.

Thanks for reading my rant. Love y'all.

[tracyfance]

Your Trigger Points From The Past Are Creating Your Issues Now

Let’s Look At Triggering

As a psychic coach, I’ve worked with many people struggling with the impact & effects of “triggering.” You may not be familiar with the term but I’m sure you’ll be familiar with the actual behaviour or process; triggering refers to situations or events that bring up negative emotions, memories, or experiences from the past. Triggers can be anything from a certain smell or sound to a specific person or situation. You may have heard about this happening with people who have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS also called PTSD many people think it should be classed as syndrome not a disorder).

The problem is that triggers can be very distressing, interfering with your ability to function in your daily life. In this blog, I want to share with you how my training in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) can be a valuable tool for managing triggers and helping you move forward.

How Your Triggers Work

First, let’s talk about how triggers work. When you experience a traumatic or stressful event, your brain records not only the event itself but also the emotions and physical sensations associated with it. Later, when you encounter a similar situation, your brain may activate the same emotions and physical sensations as if you were reliving the original event. This is why triggers can be so powerful not to mention overwhelming – your brain is essentially being hijacked by your past experiences. If we take the example of a soldier with PTSS coming back from war, the simple backfiring of a car can trigger their PTSS or it may be a certain smell or even flashing lights as you’d get with gunfire & missile strikes at night.

One of the key principles of NLP is that your thoughts and behaviours are connected and can be changed through language and communication. I can use the right language to help your brain to think differently which in turn will allow a different, more empowering behaviour to follow.

You can be triggered on much smaller things, it isn’t always big events:

Case Studies

1: Brian Cox – Actor

It’s pretty hard not to know who Brian Cox is these days as he seems to be everywhere! However, just in case you are the other person not watching Succession (I’m the other one) then know that he’s an actor from Dundee, born in 1946 into a family where money was tight. His father died when Brian was 10 years old, only for them to discover that his father had not been charging people for food from his store because he felt bad they couldn’t afford to actually pay him for it & as a result Brian’s family were virtually penniless & reliant on family for support. 

He recently did a documentary ‘How The Other Half Live’ where he spent time in the USA & Dundee, looking at the wealth divide and how the poor are getting poorer & the rich are getting richer. He visited homeless shelters & food banks to see what life is like for those that use them. Bear in mind Brian Cox is very wealthy now – which he has earned – so he has safety, security, food in the cupboard etc.

During the documentary, Brian started to get angry & upset with his camera crew, he felt they were invading the privacy of these people who were struggling, even though he was part of the team & it was all done with full permission. The reason he was so upset & angry, enough to get them to stop filming briefly, is that being back in that poverty ridden environment was triggering his experiences of being a poor family with all the emotions that go with it; guilt, shame, lack of self-worth, humiliation etc.

Are there things from your past that affect you now?

2: A Young School Boy

In the Oprah Winfrey book ‘What Happened To You’ (a fantastic read whatever field you’re in) there is a case study of a young lad who had a violent father, he was in school & doing really well, when suddenly he started acting out, nobody could understand why, he’d got a great relationship with teachers, he was starting to become more confident & he’d been really well behaved. The co-author of the book Dr Bruce Perry sat in on the class & sure enough this lad started to act out but for no apparent reason. As Dr Perry sat there, he could smell the teacher’s eau d’cologne, which reminded him of his dad and took him back to his childhood. As he sat there smiling at the memory, his brain suddenly made a connection. He took the teacher to one side and asked when he’d started to wear this eau d’cologne & he replied it was a Christmas gift from his daughter so only a matter of months ago. Dr Perry then spoke to the young lad, who was able to acknowledge that the timeframe fit but that he had no idea why he was acting out. After discussing the eau d’cologne, the young lad confirmed that his father had worn the same scent. It transpired that whenever the teacher came close enough for the lad to smell the eau d’cologne, his brain would trigger feeling unsafe, so the ‘flight-freeze-fight’ response kicked in, ready to run from his father & hide or defend himself if his dad was in a violent mood.

The teacher agreed not to wear it at school and normality returned, so can you see how little things can cause a bigger issue?

3: Me!

I didn’t have a traumatic upbringing in the full sense of the word; no abuse, no poverty and the like, I did however have critical parents, now this is not to guilt trip them, they did the best they knew how to do & a critical parent is usually trying to protect you from whatever they went through, whether that’s bullying, not being accepted by others etc, sadly it just doesn’t always get received that way by the child.

I don’t recall thinking ‘if I’m being criticised I’m not loved’ but I’m pretty sure that’s the story my subconcious developed! It was only after I left home at 17 that I stopped feeling criticised or not good enough on a daily basis. That doesn’t sound too awful does it? Well, it’s over 30 years since I left home & it’s still there lurking, not to the same extent as I’ve worked on it, but it’s still there!

Here’s how it worked; Since my 20’s I tended to know my own mind, I learned to be very independant, so I’ve tended to get on and do things, now sometimes that’s fine, other times someone might question what I’ve done, how I’ve done it or why. Straight away I’d get uncomfortable, I’d feel unaccepted, I’d feel my confidence drop. The old me would have panicked, I’d have maybe changed my opinion or re-do something so I’d be ‘perfect’ again. I realised that I got triggered by criticism & conflict but these days I won’t retreat, I’ll standby what I’ve said, done etc, I’ll accept constructive criticism & if it feels right to make changes I will, on the other hand I’d much rather not have a row regardless unless it’s the only avenue, and there’s nearly always another avenue available!

The criticism can come in various ways, it may be directly such as when someone says ‘I would not do it that way’ or ‘why’d you do that’? It can also be social media though so someone may say something about a post or me personally – that took some getting used to I can tell you – or it may be the dreaded ‘inner critic’ judging me about something I’ve said or done, even though nobody has said anything! It may be that I’ve emailed a friend and then get a response that jangles my trigger, because I’ve ‘chosen’ to interpret it as criticism when it is in fact just a different opinion on the time to book a dinner table for or what choice of train time etc.

In the old days, I could not make a decision in case nobody liked it, trying to plan dinner or a night out was hell! A friend would say to me ‘where do you fancy going’? My reply would generally have been along the lines of ‘I’m happy with whatever…’ worried that if I made the wrong choice they’d no longer like me! Thankfully those days are gone and if I do say that it’s because I know the choices and I truly am happy with them all, I will say if I’m not.

These anchor points as I call them are not isolated to your childhood, many different situations can create the anchor point, they can come from any area of your life. Can you see any anchors or trigger points?

Double Triggering

Sometimes when we’re around another person we can get triggered which in turn triggers them! Let’s pretend that my partner always needs to be right, if he then criticised me (now I’m triggered) then I didn’t do something his way because mine felt more intuitive for instance, he would now be triggered too! As you can imagine this can be a recipe for disaster! when we’re triggered we enter the ‘fight-flight-freeze’ state which means our body is amped up on adrenaline & the brain is shutting down on thinking critically, we just react, so now we have a vicious circle which is most likely to end in a row or someone being hurt emotionally, sometimes physically too, the response to being triggered can vary widely depending on what and how the trigger was created.

In this scenario we have to hope that both parties are self-aware enough to get help so they can at least stop triggering each other, even if only one of the parties does this it would help things.

How Do I Clear These Triggers?

NLP techniques can help you to reframe your thoughts and emotions around a particular trigger, which can reduce its intensity and impact.

Technique 1: An NLP technique that can be particularly helpful for managing triggers is called the “Swish Pattern.” The Swish Pattern involves creating a mental image of the trigger and then replacing it with a more positive image. Here’s how you can do it:

Identify the trigger: Start by identifying the specific situation, object, or person that triggers you.

Create a mental image: Close your eyes and imagine the trigger in as much detail as possible. Notice how you feel and what thoughts come up for you.

Create a positive image: Now, imagine a positive image that you would like to replace the trigger with. This could be anything – a peaceful scene, a happy memory, or an image that represents safety and security.

Swish the images: In your mind’s eye, imagine the trigger getting smaller and smaller until it disappears. At the same time, imagine the positive image getting bigger and brighter until it fills your entire field of vision. This should happen quickly, almost like a “swish” motion.

Repeat: Repeat the swish pattern several times, until you feel a sense of calm and peace when you think about the trigger.

Technique 2: Another NLP technique that can be helpful for managing triggers is called “Anchoring.” Anchoring involves creating a physical or mental cue that helps to bring up positive emotions and feelings. Here’s how you can do it:

Recall a positive memory: Think of a time when you felt happy, confident, and in control. Really immerse yourself in that memory and try to feel the same emotions and physical sensations you felt at the time.

Create an anchor: Choose a physical or mental cue that you can associate with that positive feeling. This could be anything from squeezing your fist to saying a certain word to imagining a specific colour.

Activate the anchor: Whenever you feel triggered or overwhelmed, activate the anchor by squeezing your fist, saying the word, or imagining the colour. This should help to bring up the positive feelings associated with the memory.

Repeat: Repeat the anchoring process several times until the anchor becomes automatic and you can use it whenever you need it.

Of course, NLP techniques are just one tool in a larger toolkit for managing triggers. It’s important to work with a qualified professional, such as a therapist or coach, to develop a comprehensive plan for managing triggers and addressing any underlying issues.

The Spiritual Side of Triggering

Soul Contracts are an agreement between two or more souls to achieve something such as Soul A helping Soul B (or even Souls B, C & D) achieve compassion or learning to allow other people to follow their path, tolerance etc, being triggered & then allowing it to be dealt with may be part of the mechanism to achieve the Soul Growth Soul B needed.

So here’s a potential scenario, it is just an example of how this works, I’ll use me as the case study:

I was born into a family that for their own reasons used criticism to demonstrate love, being very sensitive this made me shrink inwards to avoid the pain. As I grew physically & spiritually, I took ownership of this & learned to not respond in a negative way to criticism, to not feel it to my core & to not repeat the pattern with those I love. Once this has been achieved, I am able to thank the soul of each parent, as well as any other soul that was party to helping me complete this soul contract. It may be that my partner had a soul contract to be the person who doesn’t criticise me, or the one who makes me aware of this trigger so I can diffuse it. In turn this may make me less judgemental or more compassionate of others. Does that make sense?

It’s not always possible to see the links or the opportunity for growth, this is why journalling is good as it gives a chance for observation, objectivity & growth. I’m a huge believer in looking backwards for understanding but not for beating yourself up or to dwell on the past.

Your Turn!

Give these techniques a go and let me know how you get on. I’m happy to have a chat with you if need be so let’s schedule a Zoom call, grab a coffee & chat! You can book a 30 minute free call here via my online calendar.

#NLP #healing #selfhealing #healthemind #coachingwithtracyfance #psychiccoachtracyfance #triggering #thepastcanstillhurtyou

[aegisgrey]

I need to scream about the Kenobi show and well what else is tumblr for.

I’m not happy lads. Long post and spoiler warning.

I’m really not sure why I kept watching it. I think it’s because I felt a sense of obligation to see this one out because like, I don’t know I guess this felt like a last chance for Disney Star Wars for me. Book of Boba Fett was a wildly mixed bag of weird mostly for the worse of the overall storyline we seem to be getting, but more to the point doing a show about the time Kenobi is hanging out on tatooine felt like such a blatant, souless cash grab of a show concept, I guess I just wanted to see if they actually had inspiration for a character study.

They did not.

Ok, let’s just get started with the things this show does well so I can maintain a nuance of fairness before I fire the death star into this thing.

The Leia stuff is good. The Leia Obi-wan stuff is good. Does it in any way inform my overall view of the main saga films and characters in the same way Rogue One managed to do? Absolutely not. It’s cute it’s fluffy and it’s fun. The child actor for Leia does a remarkable job considering her age and Leia gets a lot of the best lines. It does nothing to develop the characters meaningfully, it doesn’t really attempt to. It’s there to make you go aw and it works.

Reva is an interesting idea played by a compelling actress. Moses Ingram carries on the proud tradition of phenomenal star wars actors attempting to breath life into garbage dialog and characterization, and when she’s given literally anything to work with, the character feels like they are from a different, better show. She is not given much to work with.

OK here we go. I’m gonna go through my points starting with the most basic problems that feed into the nuances of why this show makes me want to drive down to burbank and stage a coup.

1. The writing is bad.

It’s really, really bad. It’s embarrassingly bad. It’s Rise of Skywalker bad at points. This script feels like a low effort fan fic someone made casually on a friday afternoon.

What do I mean by that? Well let’s break it down into a few sections so I can talk about the core issues here.

a) The plot makes no goddamn sense.

The wheels that have to spin here to simultaneously bring you all those sweet sweet cameos and character interactions you pay your D+ subscription to see are kicking up so much mud, you can no longer even see what you paid for. One of the biggest issues is that this series has absolutely no choice except to end more or less exactly where it begins. Nothing can happen in this plot and we the audience know that. Star Wars is huge. This show could have been about anything. But instead it’s centered around the skywalker twins and Obi wan and Darth vader and the grand inquisitor NONE OF THESE PEOPLE CAN DIE AND ANY VIEWER KNOWS THAT.

This story is built on the idea that Obi-Wan has trauma from Vader’s fall and that’s blocking him off from the force. While I buy the trauma fine the idea that it cuts him off from the force actively contradicts any other version of the character from this time period we have ever seen. In fact Obi-Wan is canonically (this is DISNEY CANON I’m not using legends) at his strongest after Vader falls in large part because he’s closed himself off so completely from his emotions that he’s lethally focused and driven. This is the same man who will one-shot Maul shortly after the events of the series, and beat Vader in the climactic event of the prequel trilogy.

I realize this might sound like I’m just some anime nerd complaining about power scaling but that’s really not my issue, star wars has perpetually had bizarre power scaling that makes very little sense this isn’t new. My issue is that they essentially invented this version of Obi-Wan. We have nothing to show us why exactly it got so bad on Tatooine and the series DOES NOT SHOW US. 

Later on, he overcomes this and once again we are given incredibly little information as to WHY he is suddenly better out side of the power of love and friendship which is a WILD interpretation of Obi-Wan as a character. See above. This show seems to think Obi-Wan is this like, nice polite loving figure who’s never done anything wrong in his life and not THE LITERAL REASON THAT DARTH VADER EXISTS AT ALL.

And THAT is what this show fundamentally misses in it’s very premise, right out the gate before it ever starts. This show thinks Obi-Wan is Right and Good and has Feelings about how he failed Vader, and that’s a fundamental misunderstanding of the source material this is desperately riding a unicycle while juggling around.  Obi-Wan is a Flawed Mentor who doesn’t understand that he played a huge role in Vader’s fall. He is not a Good Person. Luke is a Good Person and he actively does not do what Obi-wan told him to do and that LITERALLY SAVES THE GALAXY AND THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT. This show had the chance to dive into the depths of a deeply troubled and flawed space wizard and it turned him into a fluffy marshmellow. Obi-wan in every other incarnation we have including the literal children’s cartoon is a hypocritical, conniving, scheming, preachy, arrogant, and even narcissistic dude and he’s literally one of my favorite characters in any media BECAUSE OF THESE FLAWS. I’m not saying Obi-wan is always a bastard he’s not at all and a portrayal of him as a purely bad dude would be just as wrong but you can’t just wipe away all the things that make Obi-Wan a flawed Jedi or the story just does not work.

b) The Fake Out Deaths

This show has an obscene amount of this. I would be offended by how many fake out deaths there are if I didn’t already know that all the characters survive. The fact that I do makes it nearly unbearable. The worst example of this is the grand inquisitor who literally serves no purpose in this show and could have been removed entirely and nothing would have changed. Reva is a close second because while her final appearances do a lot to help the character it’s frankly absurd that she’s survived Vader like 3 times at this point and manages to carry a child across the desert with a hole in her spine. The violence in this show is bizzare and doesn’t add up and continually contradicts itself. There’s not much more to say about this but if the writers are expecting me to feel tension because obi wan might have died under all those rocks I don’t know what the hell they think I’ve been watching all these years. They kill off exactly two named characters in this show. Both are characters we have never seen before. One is literally only named so he can be killed off (Rip my man Wade you were my favorite character) and this is treated with weight in the shows narrative. We spend more time mourning Wade than Wade gets on camera screentime.

c) The dialogue

It’s a spiritual successor to the prequels I don’t know what I expected but this feels more like Rise of Skywalker than prequels. A lot the interactions are bizzare. Reva gets such rotten lines I genuinely feel so bad for the actress who’s clearly working this as best she can. Some of the stuff in her leia interrogation is somehow palpatine has returned levels of cringe. Her arc is genuinely interesting it’s just horrendously served by her actual lines. Vader has either great lines or terrible ones no in between and they are actively worse around Reva because of the weird plot armor around her character that tbh doesn’t need to be there because you could have just written things so that she doesn’t fuck up around vader and then not die so much.

So yeah pretty much everything this show does on it’s own doesn’t work very well outside of just having Obi-wan and Leia be cute. I’ll balance that by saying that when they do good Vader lines they do REALLY good Vader lines, I’ll give them that. Obi-Wan gets absolutely no new material to work with outside the Leia stuff that’s good even if Ewan is great as always. In fact he has surprisingly few actual lines period, considering the show is named after him. I’m serious look for places where he’s not talking about someone else but reflecting what he’s actually doing and feeling and going through. For a show that’s ostensibly a character study there is very little study of his character.

2. Everything that’s good comes from something else.

The level of self plagiarism  this show is genuinely bizarre I don’t even know what to make of it. The Inquisitor fortress and obi-wan vader fight are literally lifted directly out of other media. Jedi Fallen Order has the exact same inquisitor fortress, which is broken into the exact same way, and features the exact same hallway breaking. It’s wild. And frankly, Reva is just second sister done worse. The vader obi-wan fight, arguably the highlight of this show, is also lifted directly from Rebels to the point where VADER’S HELMET BREAKS IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE. It’s genuinely embarrassing and I don’t know how they think people won’t notice this, and more to the point it proves that this show has absolutely nothing new to bring to the table. No new perspective on vader or obi-wan, no new and interesting characters, absolutely nothing we don’t already have in a better version.

3. Oh dear god what happened to Deborah Chow’s direction.

Here’s the thing. Deborah Chow is not a bad director. We know this because her mandalorian episodes are some of the best in the whole show. I was genuinely interested to see what she did with this show. The thing is: This show literally feels like it was directed by a different person.

If I am up to it maybe I will do a full scene breakdown of something from this and something from mando to showcase what I mean but all I need to say for this is that the way this is shot, the way scene’s are set and characters are followed and action is portrayed and environments are built is Terrible. The most egregious examples include: Leia outrunning four adults who are clearly slowling themselves down in full view of the camera, overuse of dark environments at critical moments in the action, Obi-wan hacking a fence while a clear way around the fence is VISIBLE IN THE BACKGROUND. The firepit that vader is suddenly barred by despite him controlling it moments before. The second ship leaving despite him stopping another ship moments before. The trench-coat. My god the trench-coat. The rebel ship with shields that can apparently withstand a star destroyer for hours. It’s immensely sloppy. There are moments where this show looks like a youtube fan project and I really am not exaggerating. Some of these shots shouldn’t have been in any final product a major media company is putting out. The dialogue is all talking heads, the action is shaky cam with no sense of environment or space building. This is the sloppiest cgi and effects work in any star wars media I’m aware of. The direction is just fundamentally terrible in ways I would expect any film maker with Chow’s resume to catch and I have no idea what the hell happened because once again, we KNOW she can do great stuff. I’m flabbergasted. Out of all the flaws of this show, this is the one I find the most inexcusable. I expected the script to be a mess, I was surprised by the self plagiarism, I am shocked and horrified by the poor directing and production on this show. I don’t even know who to blame for it. I sense meddling here but I have no idea what kind or to what degree.

4. The Anti-Clone wars.

The Clone Wars cartoon is much beloved because of all the ways in which it expanded on and breathed life into the characters of the prequel era. I would argue it single-handedly saved Anakin as a character. This show not only makes Obi-Wan a worse character by removing all of the attributes needed for drama and for the events of a New Hope to happen, but actively contradicts everything that happens in the OT. Obi-Wan’s insistence that Luke destroy Vader is now borderline insane considering he let Vader go on purpose this time. The organa’s apparently have obi on speed dial and just forgot to give him a transmitter when he shows up again, completely unnecessarily and wildly out of character. Leia having no reaction to his death in a New Hope is now extremely weird. Vader not realizing Leia is his kid is literally impossible in the events of this show.

Clone Wars gave us much needed character and theme development for the prequel era. This show actively undercuts theming, character arcs, and basic plot structure with wanton abandon.

Final thoughts:

There are any number of individual scenes you can tear apart in this show. I could type pages more material about how awful the directing is alone.

This is technically a review so here’s a score: I’m giving this show five dumpsters full of copies of Jedi Fallen Order and Rebels dvd’s, set on fire by Darth Vader himself so that Obi-Wan can escape to better media.

[skiyoosmi]

if fate permits

chapter twenty two: i love you

previous  <  masterpost  >  next

note. i am sorry for the veeeery long wait; i finally finished it tonight (after fucking up with it for two whole months) but yeah, my emotions are quite unstable right now so this was affected by it (in short, this is a roller coaster ride so pls be ready)

playlist. stay (acoustic ver.); never let me go (both sung by ghostly kisses)

You absolutely had no idea what you were doing right now. As far as you could remember, you were the playwright, the writer of the script. You never had any interest in acting in plays, musicals, nor acting in general… none at all – so why is it that right now, you were standing right on the side of the stage, waiting for the cue for you to come out, dressed up as someone you weren’t supposed to be, someone you were only supposed to have written for?

You swear, this was the most chaotic crowd you have ever seen your whole life. You only watched, alongside Hajime, as people lined up right by the entrance of the university’s theater, murmuring and gossiping about the play that was less than an hour away from starting, “I gotta say, they look way too excited for a story that they should know like the back of their hands by now. It’s kind of funny,” Hajime chuckled, letting out a quiet ‘yeah’ as he shoved his hands in his pockets, watching you cringe on the girls that were obviously here for your best friend. You swore you heard one of them say they’re going to ask him out after the play and you almost wanted to drag her out of the venue by her hair.

“I would say it would be a waste of a ticket for people who are here just to gush about handsome faces instead of the story itself but then again, it’s us who are benefiting from it anyway.” You huffed and muttered a few more things under your breath, beginning to walk to the direction of the entrance for the crew members which was on the farther side of the theater, Hajime silently following and shaking his head out of amusement for your obvious jealousy. I can’t wait for the time when it’s me you’re being jealous for, he thinks.

You thought the crowd outside was chaotic? Nothing could have prepared you for the view you were welcomed to as soon as you entered the backstage. Literally, almost all of the crew members were running around frantically, pushing the small and large props here and there. Hajime, as if he had his ‘danger’ instincts set on, grabbed you by the waist and pulled you to his side just right when a random lad passed by where you were at a while ago, struggling to carry what looked like a heavy log on his shoulder (you figured it would be for one of the scenes that were supposed to be in the forest). You were sure as hell that if you weren’t moved out of the way by your friend, the lad would’ve collided with you and that thing he was holding would’ve fell on you because he was too busy looking back and chatting with his companion who was carrying other props.

Irritated by their carelessness, Hajime clicked his tongue and spoke up, “Oi, you two have to be careful and watch where you’re going. You might just cause an accident with what you’re doing.” The boys replied with an insincere apology, immediately going back to their business. You were soon brought to your senses as well and realized that you were still in his arms. Blushing profusely, you muttered a quiet ‘thanks,’ too flustered to think of a more decent reply. Hajime raised an eyebrow, smirking before leaning his head close to yours again, foreheads touching each other, much like the other day.

“You’re red. Are you feeling sick?” If it was someone he wasn’t close with, it would look like he’s just being concerned but you know better because you can practically hear the teasing behind his voice, so, you punched him right by his shoulders, muttering with a hint of shyness in your tone, “Asshole. Stop trying to tease me, it’s way too much for me. When the fuck did you even get so brave to act like this with me? Jerk.”

He cackled, slinging his arm around your shoulder, and beginning to pull you deeper inside the backstage. You both stood idly by the corner of the backstage, watching the actors get ready. From your position, you could see your blonde best friend, eyes looking lost as they wandered around the area until it stopped right to where you were. You think you held a staring contest for about twenty seconds until your companion spoke up, “You know, I personally think it would be better if you go to him and say your good luck, yeah? Nothing’s going to happen if you just stare at each other all day. I’m willing to share you with him… just for today though. After this, no more.” 

A confused expression formed on your face, wondering what he meant, though he just snickered and ruffled your head, “I said… go to him before I change my mind and pull you away from here.”

“I can’t. These days, I’ve been feeling way too many feelings and I don’t know how to control them. I feel like… I might just burst and tell him everything but I don’t want to. I’m not ready yet,” you admitted, fiddling with your fingers as you looked down, only for your head to be raised up again as Hajime held it up using your chin, a tender smile plastered on his face.

“Tell you what… if you lose control and everything goes astray, just look at me and I’ll save you, like a knight-in-shining-armor,” he whispers, patting you on the head before pushing you towards your best friend who was still looking, by the way. You took a deep breath, stopping right in front of him, biting your lip before opening your mouth to say something but Atsumu beat you to it, arms immediately going around your form and pulling you into a bone-crushing hug, “I’m sorry,” He mumbles into your hair, while you nod, reciprocating the gesture, “I… I’ve been such a shitty best friend, huh?”

“Yeah, right,” You huffed, trying to look mad and intimidating but it only came off as cute in Atsumu’s vocabulary, “After this, I’ll treat you to this really good restaurant. We can talk about anything and everything you want to tell me, even if they’re bad, I’ll listen, yeah?” He suggested, his hold on you still not loosening as he looked down on you, “I’d prefer it if only good things come out of your pretty mouth though.” 

You rolled your eyes, getting ready to retort as usual but a loud crash and a cry of pain interrupted you. Looking to the source of the sound, your eyes, as well as Atsumu’s widened. You can only watch as Yui, who was on the floor, clutching her ankles, angrily screech at the boy who was bowing his head and apologizing, the large piece of wood you luckily avoided a while ago found its victim and it’s the main actress of the play, “What the fuck! Why weren’t you watching where you’re going?! Look at what you did!”

Your best friend jogged towards her and once again, you were left behind. Love seriously sucks, you thought as you watch him try to shush Yui’s cries. The director, who heard about the situation, ran to where you are, asking what happened. “I think her ankles are injured, Miyu-chan,” you quickly replied, anxiety beginning to arise within you because what was supposed to happen now? You can’t cancel this play; you all have been working for months for this! Besides, the theater must be full of the audience now. As if she was reading your mind, she spoke up, “We can’t cancel this now, but we can’t force her to act as well. She can barely stand up, look. Mina, tell Mari to ask the audience to wait for a little while more, we have to think of a solution.”

By now, Atsumu was supporting her, making their way towards you with Yui limping, “Miyu-san…” “No, Yui. I know what you’re going to say but I won’t let you do that. Go to the infirmary and have your ankles checked. Your well-being is more important than this play,” the director firmly said, much to the brown-haired girl’s dismay.

“But you can’t cancel it! The people who bought the tickets will get mad! I can do this, it barely hurts, Miyu-san!” Yui pleaded, even going as far lifting her injured foot in a pathetic attempt to show that she was fine but it only put her to a worse situation as soon as she winced. Miyu only gave her a look of ‘I told you so.’ 

“Don’t worry about the play, Yui-chan. YN can replace you in your role.”

“What?!” “WHAT?” You simultaneously yelled out, obviously not expecting the sudden decision to be made, much less one that has something to do with you, “Wait, wait, wait… Miyu-chan, aren’t you being a little rash right now? I’m not a good actress!”

“She’s right!” Yui scoffed, “I’ve been practicing this for so long and you’re going to replace me with someone who never did?!” 

“That’s right,” Miyu nodded, crossing her arms, “She knows the script and the lines better than anyone here. And don’t try to fool me, YN, you know you can act.” Her unrelenting eyes told you that she knew everything there was to know; she’s been your friend for more than a year now, after all. 

“Oh, well. You won’t change my mind no matter what you say, so just go, Yui. Iwaizumi-kun, sorry for this sudden request but can you take Yui to the infirmary after what we’re going to do?” Hajime blinked but nodded, nonetheless. He feels somewhat sorry for the brunette who was on the verge of tears as she was helped by the crew members into one of the changing rooms to undress her costume.

It’s definitely not the first time in your life but you felt like vomiting the breakfast you had this morning.

You already lost count of how many times you took a deep breath in hopes that your heart will calm down. You listened as Mari neared the end of her welcoming rites and speech for the play, placing your hands on your chest as a final attempt to get tranquility within. The fairytale-like background music began to play and soon, a younger version of your character appeared on the stage; it’s the beginning of your Cinderella play. To be honest, you don’t even know where they got that child actress and how they managed to convince her to join the play but right now, you couldn’t care less because all you’re thinking of right now is how to not mess up your lines and deliver them with the proper emotions. 

Your brother, Osamu, Tooru, Makki and Mattsun, who you were sure as hell were in the audience, will never let you hear the end of it if you mess this up. You don’t want to live the rest of your days in Japan being a laughingstock. No way, you refu–

“You’re thinking too much about it. Calm down,” A voice from behind you interrupted, hands beginning to massage your shoulders to get your stiff muscles to relax. Turning around, you were met with the one and only Miya Atsumu in a prince costume. Right there and then, you felt like your heart’s going to burst for a different reason this time. 

Goodness heavens, Lord Jesus, thank you for blessing me with this beautiful man and letting me meet him, you thought as you savored the view in front of you, also thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Miya  for successfully creating Atsumu and delivering him to the Earth, it must have difficult to produce such fine masterpiece.

“Ya look… beautiful,” the blonde mutters, a hand rubbing his nape and sheepishly grinning, a slight blush adorning his cheeks, “Ya should dress up yourself from time to time, yanno? It really suits you.”

“Gee, thanks for calling me ugly on my normal days,” you scoffed, giggling when he let out a sound of disagreement, “No! That’s not what I meant, idiot!”

“I know.” 

Before you can continue your conversation, the signal for you to come out is finally closing in as the “stepsisters” appeared onstage. Rather shakily, you took a step forward, almost tripping on your dress due to your nerves. You were fortunate that Atsumu was attentive enough to grab your wrist, “YN, I told you to calm down.”

You gulped, nodding and taking a deep breath. He smiled upon seeing the determined look on your face and for some reason, his body moved on its own - placing a hand on your cheek with his thumb rubbing it, he approached you and placed his lips on your forehead. Maybe it’s because you were so nervous or maybe it’s because you longed for this moment for almost your whole life. Whatever the reason is, you just find yourself tearing up a little bit as he whispers, “That’s my girl.”

Never in your life had you wished that time can stop this much before. As you stood still in Atsumu’s embrace, you felt your heart being squeezed with so much love yet pain at the same time. How is it that he’s so close yet he’s someone you can’t have? 

“I love you, Atsumu,” you tell him, eyes still watery; heart hoping that it reaches him, that he picks up the meaning behind your words. But he doesn’t, as he stops to look at you, he squints his eyes in a joking manner as he speaks, “Hey, why do you look so emotional today?”

Disappointment grows in the depths of your whole being, though you don’t show him that. Because perhaps this was enough, you can try again another day. You’ll try and try until he finally understands. You can do that… you’ve been holding on pretty well the past fifteen years, so you huff instead, ignoring the painful thump of your heart, “Nothing, you jerk! Is it really that weird to hear me say I love you to you, hah?!”

You hear the dialogue of one of the stepsisters, calling out as your cue. You start to trudge forward but before you could fully go, he replies, “I love you too, YN, always remember that although I’m so shitty sometimes.”

Yeah, this is enough for now.

Perhaps, you shouldn’t have been so confident in saying that; you should’ve just been straight to the point because nothing has ever compared to the agony engulfing your insides as Miya Atsumu sat in front of you in a random booth of a restaurant, speaking the words you’ve always dreaded to hear as a Moira and as his very own soulmate, “YN, I think I’m done waiting for my soulmate. Can’t you just cut my thread off please?”

[amphibious-entity]

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

[duskkodesh]

Spoiler free and spoiler review of Morbius from a comic lover’s perspective.

Okay, you know how this works. Spoiler free is up here. Spoilers will be under the cut. You have been warned!!!

First of all... WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?! WHAT WAS THAT? IT CERTAINLY WASN’T MY FAVORITE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME. NOPE.  Spoiler free: Reviews saying it was confusing were not lies. It was a mess. Scenes felt like they were written by entirely different people and then thrown together, characters seem to have no relationship to one another, actors don’t express emotion except Matt Smith who is an absolute mad lad and I can’t hate him. Worst crime is there’s characters who seem entirely like a waste, they never get to really serve any pivotal role, and you get the sinking feeling that there was a board of Sony executives with a wishlist sitting and picking apart the script. The entire feeling of the film is ‘marketing decision’ and the ending is the least satisfying cinematic ending I’ve seen since The Lost World.

So, onto the spoilers

PLOT: The only things really in character for Morb are his sense of humor, altruism, and how much he absolutely gets the piss beat out of him. Other than that the character was unrecognizable and Leto’s stiff as a board acting did not help. The movie starts with the bat trap scene. You’ve seen almost all of it. Then childhood bits, cheesy but not the worst part of the film. Matt Smith’s character is Lucian, a kid who gets nicknamed Milo by a young Michael. We get not enough interaction to buy them really being friends then it’s onto the future. Morb is gifted, gets a scholarship, invents artificial blood, receives a Nobel prize which he refuses... god knows why. He’s a director at Horizon labs and working on his cure. Milo is an adult and funding his research. The two still speak but Matt Smith is the better actor here and carries the conversations. Martine also works at the labs and they aren’t together but there’s supposed to be chemistry... I guess? I wasn’t feeling it.  So, boat, tests, mercs, change, growling with bad CGI, Nom nom nom, and they at least kept canon with the fact he jumps off the boat. He sneaks back to the labs, runs tests on himself. Feeds on artificial blood and leaves out his vials of the serum that changed him. Milo checks on him, insists on this cure Michael has and they fight about it. Cliche’s happen, obviously he steals a vial.  Morb gets arrested, Milo visits him and lets it show that he used the serum. Morb vamps out and breaks out. They spend a lot of cam time on Milo turning evil, so much that for a bit I wondered if he was the main character. and OH MY GOD GUYS, the CG vampire head on Matt Smith is CRAZY. I had to hold in laughter. Milo and Morb fight, Milo kills ‘Nicholas’ AKA Jared Harris their older mutual mentor. Milo kills Martine, Morb finds her and drinks her blood. Are you ready for this shit?  The cam shoes a drop of Morb’s blood falling to Martine’s lips... YEP. Milo has a final big fight with Morb where... GET THIS. HE WINS BY COMMANDING A SWARM OF BATS. I wish I made that up. Deus ex battica. Martine is showed waking from death, Morb flees the scene. Stroud stands around having done very little in the plot... and the credits roll. That’s it. Then we get post credit scenes where Vulture shows up, goes free, then approaches Morb to ask if he’d work with him. Morb is in the sinister six, I’m so fucking done... I rant for an hour on the way home and my own SPOUSE Says he thinks it wasn’t as bad as Venom. HERESY. Obviously that’s just an outline, there’s more to it but... Okay, where’s my notes. My reviewer points... yessir. 

Acting: Bad, Tyrese Gibson is meh... Matt Smith is crazy and enjoyable. Everyone else is bad.

SFX: Some scenes look great, others the bodies ragdoll like rubber, or faces look ridiculous. It goes from bad to good so many times I had whiplash.

 Plot coherence: It’s not great... I’m gonna be honest. I’ve read better fanfic.

Soundtrack: Sometimes booming when it doesn’t need to be, but overall servicable. Some is absolutely genius like the music Matt Smith dances to.

Accuracy to Morb’s canon personality: Not... really? I mean he actively manages to NOT really make any huge bad decisions after he wakes up on the boat and that’s just not the loser I know. Points for him making very dry jokes and getting bossed around by Martine.

Chemistry between characters: Hoo boy, no. Just no. When Morb and Martine kiss I was just like ..”Why?”

Whether they did anything innovative: The flight effects and the bullet time were retro but honestly cool. I can’t hate on them.

And whether they dropped any comic easter eggs for Morb fans in particular. I didn’t really catch anything. Even lab numbers I thought would correspond to Marvel issues... really didn’t. It was a meh. Overall 5/10 because it’s a good laugh watch. Now, I need to cleanse my brain with old comic issues.

[liam-93-productions]

Liam’s full interview with Tings Magazine - Part 2

Note: the interview was recorded in may 2020. 

You had the support system of Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn during your teen years. When that support system stopped, having to deal with it by yourself, did that seem like a harder loss than it did leading up to that? It felt more like an identity crisis because that was like your crutch almost, being a part of the band. It got to the point where it was almost invincible. But that kind of got let go. I had serious questions about whether I wanted to be a solo artist. My thing was if the right song came then I wil, then obviously “Strip That Down” came along and I couldn’t really say no.  It’s a bit crazy, especially being released on such a pedestal. You don’t want to undo your legacy for what you set for yourself because you achieve so much so quickly. It’s kind of funny. I was playing poker the other day for a charity. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul and a couple of big Hollywood celebrities at this one table and me, which was the most random thing ever. They were like, “I’ve got questions that I like to ask people at the poker table. What was your first job?” Everyone was like I was a paperboy, or I was that, and I was like my first job was One Direction. And Bryan Cranston was like “You can’t really go anywhere from there. You’ve set yourself a hard task.” And I thought it was really funny, but it’s so true. One Direction was such a massive thing and I think we were all just existing since One Direction and in a sense, the hype of the comeback is the thing that’s kept us bubbling along. For sure, from that start, it was this massive identity crisis, you were a part of this unit and you knew how you fit in the unit. You knew the part that you played and as soon as that was gone, you couldn’t play the same role and carry on that way because the other units weren’t there to put it all together if that makes sense. So, you really had to try to discover who you were but in the public eye. That was stressful. 

How was that process for you, other than being stressful? How did you go about doing that? Really badly (laughs). 

Not at all. I disagree with that. You are very much different now than you were then. And you’ve grown into who you are now in a really amazing way. Was part of this identity something that was brewing during your time at One Direction. I feel like you hear Zayn do interviews and he’s been very clear about feeling different than how he’s been projected in One Direction and the identity that he’s become now. Was that the same case for you? Or was it more of a discovery process where you had no idea who you were when you left? Oh no, it was a complete discovery process. I mean if you look as simple as clothes. We were told what to wear at the start. It was like having four twin sisters. It was like ‘you can’t wear that’, ‘I’m wearing this’. So, we each got our thing. Mine was like plaid shirts. And for two years of my life, I just wore plaid shirts because that was my thing. Then we came out of that and went into this black phase where we all wore black t-shirts and black jeans or white t-shirts and black jeans. And when you come out of it and you don’t have to wear black t-shirts and jeans anymore, I was like, ‘what the hell do I wear?’ I went through a complete transition of clothes and different things. And that is only one element of your life, your appearance, what you look like.  For other things, for humor, you only experience the same humor for five years, around the same people. Then that changes. You meet other people. And we become more into the P.C. generation of things and it was like “we can’t say this anymore. We can’t do that”. And that was like another thing. As you try to develop, you make several mistakes. I went through the gangster rap phase. And it is the same with music as well. At first, it was like all the chains and rap, it was like escape the boyband scenario for me. 

The Miley Cyrus effect. The Disney to bad girl effect.  Exactly, I wanted to escape and identify myself differently. And I kind of pushed that to as many limitsas it could go to. Ever since then, as you get older, you realize that time is a wonderful thing. Instead of being on a race to be a certain someone because all your role models are so far ahead of you because they are already there, but they didn’t start there. For me, when I got into acting and doing auditions most recently, I started looking at actors that I love. Brad Pitt is one of my favorite, favorite people, you know, who’s transitioned to being the most amazing person, who has his own identity. I was thinking, how did he do it? So, I watched an interview of him at twenty-six. You have to watch it. He barely answers a question in the interview, you can’t believe it’s the Brad Pitt you see now. 

That’s thirty years of media training in between. Exactly! And this was when he did his first role. I already had my first role, being in One Direction, so I’m even further on than he was at my age. I don’t have to worry so much now I just have to have trust in the process of whatever life is, I know this sounds a little bit around about the house, but I just think you have to take a back seat and move steadily into things.  When you are a kid, you are in such a rush. You’re like I want it now. I want to be this guy. When I did my Hugo thing, it was all about muscles and training, and I was looking at Mark Wahlberg. And Mark Wahlberg is freakin’ Mark Wahlberg! It’s a taken him years and years to be Mark Wahlberg. It’s just where you set your sights for your role models, I guess. It’s the little thing that it has to come now and that’s what pop stardom is like, because you need it right now because you are already in it. I’m not waiting to come up, I’m already in it. 

Quick and constant. There’s this constant need to feed the system or you��re out of the system. Yeah, and it’s easier for artists nowadays. If you look at NSYNC, after they broke up, it was like, unfortunately, nobody really cared about what J.C. and the other boys were doing. So, they didn’t get the articles. Now, it’s like you are your own charge in that. You can be the front page of so-and-so if you really want to be. You just have to do the right thing on your channel. So, it’s like being able to be in charge of that stuff helps artists a lot more these days. But once again, that’s pressure because we are all in charge of our press and media from our phones. Whereas, they would have to go into work and have someone lay our the interviews or they wouldn’t get them. So, I suppose it’s a different type of pressure really. 

Yeah, and it’s a different landscape. They would have it laid out for them, and those interviews would last months and months, where today it’s like one day. Then it’s swipe up, swipe left, and onto the next thing. The lifespan of what we put out is so much shorter.  That’s the ting. I had TikTok out yesterday and I haven’t really invested a lot of time into something. But I made this really stupid song about cookies that went with my video. I literally just made this fun song in my house and we were like “Screw it” let’s make a music video for it. We did like one of those Lonely Island type videos and put it out. It’s one of the pieces of content that I cared about the most because I made the whole song and whatever. It was fun, and I wanted people to enjoy it the same way I did.  But even when you post something like that, I see some people where it just goes completely over their heads, that this is just a fun thing to look at. It doens’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that my next album is going to be about freakin’ cookies or whatever. I think we’ve lost some of the lightheartedness, having to take ourselves so seriously all the time. It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s like, you can view the average time that someone looked at a post, so it’s that cutthroat. If they stayed on for five seconds or whatever, the average time should be the full time and if it’s not, the post was bad. You have that power now, but it’s in seconds. Even the average time someone came on to look at it, it’s down to the seconds. 

You brought up the hype of a reunion and relevancy and keeping that alive. That interest. Where does that stand? There’s a lot of conflicting articles about a One Direction reunion. What can you say or not say, what’s the official word? To be honest with you, I keep mixing up the words reunion and anniversary. Our anniversary is coming up; it’s ten years that we created the band which is amazing. It’s a huge achievement for all of us. Every so often, I’ll accidentally say reunion and I’ll be like “oh my Dog, that conflicts another report.” I’ve been really clear that there’s not a reunion, just because I know music schedules. Harry just put out a music video and that’s got two years in it before we even think about a reunion. And I just don’t think everyone’s done yet. I think everyone’s enjoying their time, making their own workm that little bit of freedom. Um, and One direction is not exactly a side career that you can have. It requires you to be fully in it. Until we can all stop and commit to the band for whatever reason, I don’t think it can come back. I think there will be a reunion and I’m excited about it and I think it’s be a lot of fun. It will be interesting to see if we have the same essence that we had as kids. 

Essence meaning synergy on stage or camaraderie? I think a little bit of both. I mean One Direction was such a free time, and people enjoyed the fact that it was five lads on a stage having a good time. They didn’t care if we sang in tune or if we fell over. That’s what the show was about. It was chaotic. We’ve all become these more polished popstars. I don’t know if we have the same carefreeness about us, is what I’m worries about. But it’s been nice we’ve all been talking, staying in touch. It’s the first time that everyone’s spoken in the last five years. It’s just nice that everyone’s grown into being nice people. There’s none of them that I really hate. Everyone’s grown up into nice young men who just gone on a bit further from where you left them. 

Who are you closest to? Do you speak to any of them regularly? We have a big respect for each other. And I don’t think we give each other enough credit for how we’ve helped each other as well. I speak more to Louis and Niall than I do anybody else. I speak to Harry on occasion. I think we don’t have very much in common as people. There’s nothing wrong with us. We just don’t have as much in common. And Zayn, sadly, has fallen completely by the ... which is terrible. I feel for him sometimes, but at the same point, he made his decision on that. And it’s not something you can go back to lightly. If I saw him on the street, would I say hello? 100 percent. It doesn’t bother me, intrusively. I’ve already spoken about his great news. Having been through it myself, ... it’s interesting. I just think it’s a lonely scenario to be in, not being able to speak to the other people that helped you get to where you are. 

If you were to guess, or maybe you already know, would you see that reunion including Zayn or is that over and done with? I think it’s over and done with, for the time being. You can never fully discount it because you had the Robbie Williams Take That scenario. I remember watching that concert when I was in the band. It was so interesting that they were in a band, he left and had all the success he had, and came back. He had his own section of the show which I thought was interesting. They weren’t down in the dumps. They had some of the biggest hits in Britain. I don’t think you can fully discount it. I know for now it’s not possible. I think, for now, it would take certain people to admit wrong in a scenario and I don’t see that happening because they don’t even realize it yet. That’s a little further down the line. 

If a reunion happens, how do you think you would envision that creatively? Everyone has such different formed identities.  I actually think that we’ve picked up on that already, not knowing what is about to happen next. I remember from the tour screens from the very last tour. The introduction with the songs showed us on video doing different things. It set us apart ever so slightly. But I feel like if we came back together, it would be a celebration of what One Direction was, what is now, and each of the members. I think the tour screens would Harry is a completely different aesthetic that I was. I just think the band’s name is completely ironic because everyone has gone in opposite directions. Maybe, that’s the point of the name. I don’t know. Yeah, I just think it would fit back together quite seamlessly, for completely different reasons. 

[annapogorilayas]

LoD season 4 rewatch Thoughts

there is surprisingly little complaining about the trajectory of the writing in this one lmao. this season was fun! the kate vs steve stuff has its own section at the end

jason watkins is such an underrated actor and it's a shame we only got him for one episode :(

everything about kate vs buckells is hilarious in light of recent events

i don't think it's ever made clear why tim tried to get hana to visit his flat/why he went to her flat to have sex with her? i think that's the only red herring this season that didn't quite make sense

kate worked with buckells and hilton at the same time back in S1, and yet she isn't worried at all about hilton recognising her when he walks into the office in 4x02... even though they had a whole conversation in 1x01 where he addresses her by name! there's no way he doesn't remember the woman who threw a fire extinguisher through a DCI's door?

again, the whole "buckells is a blundering fool" angle had not quite taken off yet. he's a bit flustered when ted confronts him in the alley, and he's clearly ~one of the lads~ but other than that there's nothing to suggest he's an idiot.

buckells clearly didn't get the memo about michael farmer being balaclava man. i'm not against show writers making it up as they go along (this essay makes a good case for not planning too far ahead), and i do think he was the one who left roz the "someone is watching you" note, but if hilton appointed him SIO of trapdoor to keep the investigation on michael farmer he doesn't do the best job - he keeps pointing out evidence that supports michael farmer's innocence!

steve and kate take a backseat in 4x04 and yet it's my favourite post-S3 episode! the scene where roz turns the interview on ted is one of my favourite interview scenes and definitely my favourite post-S3.

the nerve of ted and kate to drag buckells into his office for "blowing kate's undercover" when she's clearly just... bad at keeping her cover

i think the roz-tim murder plotline could've been more interesting if we hadn't seen their fight. like maybe if we'd just seen roz walking into tim's flat? then again i could be biased because i thought the ending to 4x01 was ridiculous

this season had its silly moments, and it was the start of the H storyline which i think was the downfall of the show, but overall it holds up better than i remember? almost all of the red herrings actually go somewhere/make sense in hindsight (except for the tim/hana thing). this was also the last season before the dialogue, particularly ted's, slid into self-parody. that being said, i think jamie's character could've been better developed.

the kate vs steve subplot

kate and steve spend the first two and a half episodes bickering. steve seems to have a problem with her promotion (why tho?), and she makes a jab at him about lindsay (fair enough, but it sort of came out of nowhere). it goes as far as steve accusing kate of colluding in the framing of michael farmer! it seems like it's heading somewhere, when i first watched i thought it would culminate in a massive come-to-jesus fight... and then kate brings him a lamb madras and suddenly they're fine, with no acknowledgement of why they were fighting or what the problem was?

i'm not sure if J*d wanted us to make a link between the sexism subplot and the bickering; did he want us to think that kate thinks steve is sexist? or that steve actually is sexist and can't handle his female partner being of equal rank to him, even though in the previous three seasons steve never pulls rank on kate and they treat each other like equals? in fact, if you watched S1-3 without knowing what ranks they are you probably wouldn't know that steve was kate's superior. and when he finds out she passed her inspector's exam, he is genuinely happy for her?

the scene where ted and steve meet in the pub to discuss his promotion (an opportunity he denied kate) reminded me of S1, where tony gates decides whether kate is fit to be on his team based on how well she fits in at a drink with the lads. (i don't think ted was wrong to not want to have a drink with kate - he does have a point about what people might think - but it was a dick move to then go with steve)

who deserved the promotion? on one hand, steve had much more experience as a sergeant than kate, who had probably only been sergeant for ~1 year; that's a perfectly legit reason to pick steve. i also don't think that identifying the caddy should make kate a slam dunk - solving one case doesn't necessarily make someone better leadership material. however, steve has done something to earn a bollocking off ted about once a season at this point (going rogue in S1, the nurse in S2, lindsay in S3) while as far as ted knows, kate is always on her best behaviour (he doesn't know about rich akers).

this line from the script made me chuckle. you and me both, steve.

[coweggomelet]

volume 6 lads

from what i remember this one is similar to 4 in that it gives us a bit of an emotional break

don’t get me wrong i know there’s some stuff but i think overall it’s a little less intense

- ahhhh they’re all fighting together againnn it feels so right

- hey. hey yang and blake. i’m gonna need you to stop. cause my little heart can’t take it

- this dude really was challenged once and had a full blown murder tantrum. that’s fragility my guy

- ruby is SO CUTE look at her little happy face

- oh yeah. take a train. you guys have a great track record with trains

- i also keep getting like three versions of the same ad about getting vaccinated and it’s got all these workers from tv & movie sets and it’s so awkward this one guy looks so annoyed during his whole part

- it’s not just the turrets y’all oz is withholding shit once again

- don’t fuckin shove my boy!!

- i love that qrow immediately steps back when ruby comes forward. like he 100% respects not only her authority as a team leader but also her ability to solve situations and talk to people. he knows man. he knows his niece is something else

- MARIAAAAA MY GIRLL YES

- uh oh the train crashed. who could’ve seen that coming

- cinder really is just too angry and spite filled to die isn’t she

- hehe maria you’re funny

- it’s so funny that oz is still refusing to tell them everything knowing that everything is revealed in the next episode

- oh oz. i know he was your friend. but all these kids saw was the insane amount of harm and death he caused. trying to defend him to them is not gonna go well

- oscaarrr i love you!! you’re so good!!

- oooo chills

- uuugghh i love jinn she’s so cool

- oz. my dude. the ship has sailed. you can’t stop this anymore

- this, my friends, is what we call a lore episode

- this whole sequence gives me chills it’s so gooood

- eurgh i hate how the god of darkness moves like i get it it’s part of the aesthetic but you really don’t need to do that it’s creepy

- salem was so smart to use a super powerful sibling rivalry to get what she wanted

- she really didn’t deserve to watch the love of her live just get revived and killed over and over again

- jeez the gods are assholes. they’re all oooohh maintain balance and then they torture a woman who just wanted her husband back by making her live forever. for what??? for daring to be smart?? ugh

- c’mon gods you gotta respect the hustle

- you think that making someone immortal will make them realize the importance of life and death?? idiots

- god her face

- she’s so smart what the FUCK

- “the hearts of men are easily swayed” really reminds me of galadriel’s “the hearts of men are easily corrupted” in lotr

- a couple hundred humans attack them and the god of darkness decides “you know what? i’m gonna eliminate all of humanity. that feels like the right choice. yeah. i feel good about this.”

- the fact that salem wasn’t even like… a real villain until she tried to kill herself in order to escape her torture and suffering and the grimm juice made her Big Mad

- like it wasn’t even her, it was the grimm juice. i really do believe that without that she wouldn’t have become salem the Villain

- i’m sorry i don’t know a ‘deathly hallows’ i only know the relics

- ohhh fuck i forgot about this!!! oh rwby’s totally gonna end with the gods judging humanity when the relics are brought together. maybe not end end but it’s definitely gonna be close to the end and it’ll be a Big Thing where they strategize about how to convince the gods that humanity is good

- obviously the first maidens weren’t their kids but boy is there a theme going on here. and maybe even something plot relevant cause their kids could do magic

- all the main characters being able to witness this and us seeing their reactions is such a good touch like god, the impact of this reality is so much heavier because we get to see the characters actually affected by it react to watching it unfold before them

- ohhh my boy. you didn’t deserve this burden before but now that you know fully what it means you really don’t deserve it. i mean look at him!!!

- oh qrow!!! you are doing good! i mean i get it, your whole world’s been shattered and the man you gave your life to lied to you about a lot of important shit but you are doing good i promise!!

- fuck yeah maria use your sassy wise old lady authority

- oh god emerald you poor thing you’re just a babey— oh god i felt salem’s hand on emerald’s shoulder fuck dude this show is so effective

- truly, this is a master class in manipulation

- uh oh salem your ex is back

- UH OH ITS THE FARM RUN YALL

- i like that weiss is wearing what looks like very thin tights, a strapless dress, a lil jacket thing, and the animators said “here she’s got a scarf she’s warm now”

- ruby didn’t kill torchwood y’all, he got chomped. like a lil bitch

- oh god this episode

- yaaaayyy

- before this episode my friend went “you ready for some horror?” and was grinning

- oh yeeeaaah the corpses. lovely

- god as soon as they opened the door to where the cellar entrance is it immediately started affecting weiss

- oh the DOOR nope no thank you get the fuck OUT

- watching this show with my friend was also the origin of me being sad cause this shit is sad and her going “oh i’m having a great time” and this episode in particular she was enjoying herself WAY TOO MUCH if you ask me

- little jump scares kept getting me and she LAUGHED and said “that got you?!?” YES it DID i’m a WUSS

- oh the journals!!! the way they incorporated that was so interesting and added SUCH good creepiness and suspense without giving it all away or ramping it up too fast

- ruby’s so good i love her!!

- uuugghh it’s getting them already how haven’t they noticed???

- the eyes got me good the first time

- their weird fuckin attitudes were the creepiest part of this episode

- ruby said not my friends you bitches

- mariaaaa i love you you’re so smart

- god when they’re reading from the journal at the very end…

- neo’s so tiny!!

- talk about some girlbosses 

- MARIAAAAA YOURE SUCH A BADASS i love her backstory

- love her outfit too

- OOOO THE FUCKIN CROCODILE CLOCK LADY ooooo this is so cooooool

- the ticking!!!!

- oh maria you poor thing. but also you’re so smart like that was such a good move

- aww haha qrow’s a fan. awww he based his weapon off hers!! we love a fanboy

- “i wanted to be as good as the grimm reaper.” “well, im nothing but a disappointment, so you’re well on your way” DAMN MARIA SAVAGE

- oh nice they made to argus! NOW SHOW ME THE BABY

- “CUTE BOY OZ” me too nora

- THE BAAAABBYYYY

- and jaune’s sister and her wife!! I LOVE THEIR GAY LIL FAMILY

- yang is good with kids. marry me

- YOURE GODDAMN RIGHT THATS A BABY AND I LOVE HIM

- HUN!! god i love saph and terra

- “shut up there’s food!” heh me too ruby

- aahhh cordo

- she and maria are totally exes who had a bad breakup and now they hate each other. a tenzin/lin situation if you will

- jaune… my boy… i know you’re angry but oscar is really trying his best

- “i don’t know anything” me neither ruby

- wait cinder didn’t have her grimm arm yet so how did ruby’s ability trigger?

- uh oh my boy’s missing

- remember when you were having fun being the bad guy emerald. remember that. it’s almost like… it was only fun for you cause cinder was there

- it makes me so sad that not only did emerald actually believe that cinder cared about her, but she actually considered cinder family and her emotional health was so connected to cinder being there

- “all you ever learned was pain and violence and now you’re too afraid to leave it” tyrian excuse me i’m the one with the commentary and analysis that’s rude stay in your lane

- oh god oh fuck. the pyrrha statue is comin up isn’t it

- AH FUCK THE LEAF

- oh there she is. my love

- i still wanna know who this lady is. like she’s even the same voice actor as pyrrha. and she’s got red hair. i don’t think pyrrha ever talked about family members, but my money’s on her mom

- this moment fuckin got me dude. i was doing the full tearing up, lil sniffles, choked up thing. uuuuggghh

- god they love each other so much

- i am NOT gonna cry again

- oh qrow. you poor thing

- THE BABYYYY HI ADRIAN DO YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU

- young man!! you scared us half to death! do you know what time it is??

- his lil outfit i i looovveee hiiimm

- oscarrr!! you’re so sweet!!

- THE CASSEROLE

- FUCK YEAH RUBY TELL HIM

- qrow’s like… damn. ruby’s right

- here we goooo infiltration time

- oh FUCK yeah they kill adam soon

- adrian what a smart babyyyy i love youu

- hehehehehe maria is luggage

- honestly this is such a good plan it just goes to shit cause these kids can’t catch a fuckin break

- y’all need. to stop. looking. at each other. like that.

- qrow stop being emo

- mariaaaa i love youuuu you’re such a great old lady

- uh ohhhh problems with blake

- i would love it if they used qrow’s semblance strategically. like in some sort of heist/infiltration situation, sending him behind enemy lines to fuck up their luck

- ruby’s so good at speeches

- depressed? feeling bad about yourself? feeling emo and riddled with guilt? just get a Ruby Speech(TM) and you'll be cured!

- qrow’s face

- oh yeaaaahhh big metal guy

- cordo

- hey cordo

- are you uh

- maybe takin it a lil too far

- why are so many atlas military people so fuckin intense with maintaining order and big shows of power and controlling other people???

- ADAM YOU BITCH YOURE GONNA DIE

- yeah you’re a source of trauma for her but GUESS WHAT SHE HAS A SUPPORT SYSTEM

- at this point dude it’s real pathetic how obsessed with blake you are

- thank god for auras or falling damage would be a much bigger problem

- cordo can you maybe chill

- weiss earthbended!!

- jaune you’re so smart

- ren said things may be complicated but boy oh boy do i care about that strong lightning lady

- “rightfully in charge??” shut up cordo and go be gay with maria

- noooo her fun coat!!

- oooo Dramatic waterfalls

- YES BITCH IM SO PROUD OF YOU YOUVE LEARNED SO MUCH

- adam i’ll kill you

- YEEEAHHHH WHAT AN ENTRANCE YANG MARRY MEEEE

- aaaaggghh the music holy shit

- i love how the fight scenes progress through the volumes it’s so cool

- the parallels between yang and adam are also really interesting. like their semblances, their tendency to lead with strong emotions. interesting

- ooooo he doesn’t like when they look at each other hehehehehe SHE HAS A GIRLFRIEND NOW BITCH HAHA

- HOLDING HAANDSSS THEYRE SO GAY

- he’s so basic too. like he looks like a frat boy.

- y’all do your jobs. there’s a big water boy coming but you don’t know cause you’re too busy being goddamn bootlickers

- oscar is so smart and ruby is so brave i love themmm

- uh oh cordo it’s a ruby speech watch out

- ya she is nuts

- THEYRE GONNA WIN CAUSE THEYRE IN LOVE

- ya but you’re a bitch adam and yang is fuckin amazing

- I LOVE THIS FIGHTTTT

- yeet the blake

- FUCK YEAH YANG GET HIM

- i fucking love that they killl him with the pieces of blake’s weapon. like there’s something to that. they kill him with the pieces of a thing he destroyed

- if he wasn’t dead enough he got crunched too

- I LOVE THEM

- hahahahaaaaa cordo they got you

- yeah cordo!!! argus is danger cause you were more worried about fucking “proving the might of atlas” or whatever against some teenagers you fool

- ohhhh shiiiittt cinder’s atlas outfit!! they’re going to a super cold snowy place and cinder said you know what i should wear short shorts and a sleeveless top with super tall boots and a lil cape. that’ll work. and she’s right. it does. have i mentioned i love cinder?

- uh oh big boy swims watch out

- cordo shut up this your own fuckin hubris

- god cordo’s desperation is so heartbreaking

- when are people gonna learn to trust ruby and her friends man

- their willingness to keep fighting and risk their lives and also a Ruby Speech(TM) made cordo believe in them which i love

- i love jinn she likes lil ruby and her friends

- hi summerrrr

- cordoooo i’m so proud of you. she gave up part of this insane symbol of atlas’s power to help ruby and her friends. like she put aside her own ego and i’m so proud of her

- fuck yeah!!!

- awww such a good uncle

- damnnn atlas is gorgeous

- even mercury is terrified by salem’s weird grimm shit

- the fuckin wicked witch with her flying gorillas

[t-lostinworlds]

my thoughts on Arvin Russell’s character (or as a character):

disclaimer: this is just my opinion, i’m not writing this to police anyone but mainly to just share how i see the character and to have a civil, mature and open discussion if anyone is willing to. at the end of the day, anyone can do however they may please.

to start off, yes, i have read the book and yes, i have seen the movie. does that mean anything? maybe not. but i’m just saying things from what i’ve seen and read. Also, there are two sides of every story, and i do understand both. i’ll keep this vague and spoiler free.

Arvin Rusell is a kid who went through things that a kid shouldn’t. i say kid because in the book, he was 10, 15, and 17 somewhat reaching 18 at the end (correct me if i’m wrong), though, his age was not disclosed in the movie. Now, there’s no denying that he went through a lot of trauma, and of course, that trauma shaped him into this boy who’s broken, troubled, and dare i say it, unstable.

Is he an evil person? No. Has he done bad things? Yes.

point being, you can like the character, you can sympathize, i do too, i feel sad and sorry for the boy because he’s been through a lot. but don’t make him look like he’s this innocent little, sweet boy who needs to be protected and coddled because he is not. Also, don’t start defending or erasing the weight of what he did with ‘they deserved it’ (which i get, i despise those characters too) but two wrongs don’t make a right doesn’t it? Nobody is good in this story, it just so happens that Arvin is less worse than the other characters, therefore the role of protagonist falls on his shoulders. that’s why people gravitate towards him more because he’s the only one who’s not rotten to the core. Did he have his reasons why he did what he did? yes, understandable ones, but that does not erase the fact that he still did something wrong.

Arvin cares for his family, that’s a given. That’s the reason why he did what he did in the first place, he’s overprotective over them because he does love them. It makes him easier to see on a better light, makes him easier to actually like. But Arvin is also very violent, he’s got anger issues, he’s compulsive, he can’t really control his emotions and it may not be prominent, but the way i see it, he’s got that drive to kill. you see it in the scene with those bullies and the preacher, it’s like the moment his anger goes, he somewhat sees one goal. but you also see a window of him going from seeing nothing but red to the instant fear he feels after he’s done what he did, it’s a quick switch but you see it. The things he did were somewhat an act of love sure, but it still wasn’t the right thing now, was it?

Arvin is not a one dimensional character, where he is either good or bad. He’s got a lot of gray areas, a bit of both. He’s complex. So, don’t say he’s nothing but a cold-blooded murderer because he’s not entirely that. But also don’t say he’s somewhat innocent and who did nothing wrong because that’s not the case here either. He’s not the devil, he’s also not the angel. To pick one that would describe him as a whole, it’s not really possible because he’s not a simple black and white character. Acknowledge the fact that he is not at all bad but also the fact that he is not entirely good either.

and i just want to make this clear: don’t mix the actor’s traits with the character they play. there is no little bit of Tom Holland in Arvin Russell just as there is no Arvin Russell in Tom Holland. Tom said it himself, he had to tap into emotions that he didn’t have in order to serve the character and he did very well on that. We all see Tom as this sweet, kind dorky lad who’s just a ray of sunshine, is Arvin Russell that way? No. And to me, when you still see Tom when you watch the movie, then it’s sorta undermining his performance if that makes sense? which doesn’t sit well with me because he’s done very well at serving the character. because to me, i see Arvin Russell on screen and not even an ounce of Tom Holland. Arvin Russell is nothing like Peter Parker where he can be turned into this soft, innocent boy, he’s just not one of those characters. And if you try and spin it that way, make him seem like he’s a sweet, soft boy, then is your character still Arvin Rusell? Tom said he wanted to do something different, and this is very different and he’s done an AMAZING job. So, i think it’s fair we see the actually difference of it as well.

with all that said, i’m just going to leave you with this question:

if it was someone else who played Arvin Russell, someone who you don’t know and are not a fan of, someone who isn’t as attractive as Tom Holland, would you still feel the same way about the character?

on that note, we all see characters differently, you can interpret him however you like, at the end of the day, this long ass essay is just an opinion of mine.

[in-tua-deep]

tua rewatch with the roommate

Episode five

Oh fuck the “I found you. all your bodies.” scene

“We died?” “Horribly.” throwback to the ben convo o o f

“If perfectly arranged under rubble and otherwise unharmed counts as ‘horribly”’  - roommate

I like that Diego says he’s going to kill Hazel and Cha-Cha like it’s a challenge?? lol five doesn’t care if they live or die he only cares if u do you big dumbass

“Well I know none of the main characters die bc there’s a season 2... and i’m pretty sure they’re all in s2... like all of the family?”

I mean luther is kind of valid for being frustrated that five didn’t share about the apocalypse but also like,,, the first person five told about it (Vanya) suggested he might be insane. so. i can understand some reluctance on his part on top of the whole “the last time my siblings fought this the Whole World Died Including Them i would like them as far away from apocalypse stuff as possible”

okay okay so five says “they turned me into the perfect instrument” so do y’all think that implies experimentation like in the comics or ????

all i can think about during the kennedy scene though is my high school history teacher. he went over the assassination in intimate detail and i’m pretty sure he was writing a book about it and everything. mr. hansen if you’re out there - 

i like feral beard five more than mustache five tbh if i’m picking 

“Someone ELSE shot the president? Was he supposed to shoot kennedy or was he supposed to kill the person who shot kennedy?” - Roommate

love that five tells luther to grow up over murder,,, though to be valid pretty sure they did actually murder people as kids SO. grow down?

fuck i love mary,, will you love me like you loved me in the january rain??? just shoot me in the heart

GOD rob is such a good actor

“wait a second... how is he wearing pants?” oh roommate you have a big storm coming

i have some serious questions about the commission and their methods of communication. where do?? the tubes come from? where do they go after?

Allison: i have a bad feeling [about leonard]

where are these instincts for everything else tho??? her marriage?

“Vanya. she really is trying to look out for you. i really would trust her. you could invite her to come along so she can see he’s perfectly fine??” - Roommate, whose instincts regarding not trusting leonard-harold are spot on

apparently my roommate knows people who put salt in their coffee. i have. so many questions.

“That’s suspicious?? that’s suspicious right?? did he do that? is he a secret serial killer? is he a FUCKING secret serial killer?” roommate when they talk about helen cho going missing

“What do you mean stop showing up it’s been like. a day” - I mean. the roommate has a point. 

Klaus’s depression bath is a mood :(

did klaus put eye shadow on before his bath or did he get his hands on eye shadow in vietnam?? the questions that will never be answered

Five is so enthusiastic about having someone who understands... he doesn’t even notice absolutely Not Being In The Mood,, klaus is grieving and five is just like !!! where did you go!!!! like it was a vacation

klaus: yeah i’m ten months older now. when i’m done being depressed i will lord that over diego for the rest of our natural lives.

does five write in all caps all the time?? why? 

roommate: I wonder what the upper size limit on the knives her can use. like is it machete length? forearm length? what are the limits on his powers. if he sharpened a very sharp mechanical pencil could he use it? if he sharpened a piece of the chandelier? at what point does something become a knife?

me: could he hurl mia (my cat)? mia and her knife feet?

allison also writes in all caps to write leonard’s address

we stan agnes and hazel in this household

“I never said we didn’t !! i just thought she was just a random extra in the first episode and every time we cut away i think that’s the last we’ve seen of her” - roommate because i keep saying that this is an agnes stan household

“OH THERE’S THE PATCHWORK COAT i was afraid it didn’t come back” - okay though good question he definitely didn’t have the coat on the bus. what is it with klaus and his magically appearing coat????

oh :(  oh klaus :(  every time klaus is sad i am also sad :(

honestly a family conversation IS the threat in this family

god though this random vet in this bar is actually an asshole though like. klaus doesn’t owe him shit. klaus served. he’s clearly having a moment with the photo. that could have been a family member or something who died i don’t even know

agnes: i’m a twitcher :)

“like a twitch streamer?” -Roommate

PLEASE give me twitch streamer!Agnes au

look i just enjoy hazel and agnes

roommate: honey you’re too young for her

me: NO DON’T BE MEAN TO THEM,,, agnes deserves a boytoy

“does diego drive a manual?” my roommate once again focusing on things that i do not

five: i have to find the people whose deaths could save the timeline

my roommate: is it agnes?? is he going to kill agnes????

i’m still laughing about that fact that luther is holding dolores.... over the fire escape... she couldn’t drop that far lads

luther’s dumb sometimes but he does have some nice heart to hearts with his brother,,,, honestly he and five get along pretty well in the early episodes. kindred spirits. body dysmorphia and isolation squad.

my roommate has to keep remembering social media doesn’t exist in this universe

i am still confused as to why

that won’t stop me from giving everyone iphones and youtube accounts in my aus though

diego can curve ANYTHING he throws, usually knives, according to cha-cha’s research. but that doesn’t explain the spoilers i have seen about s2 sO

Klaus: You also told me that licking a nine volt battery would give me pubes

HOW DID I FORGET THAT LINE

oh diego got a bullet graze forgot about that as well?? does he ever get like. medical attention for that? diego?????

it really has been like. maybe two days since helen cho died. is no one??? concerned????? they just immediately jump into replacing her??????????????????? hellO? 

“very clear camera angles to show that this actress did not actually play the violin for this role” - i mean that’s fair but ellen is trying rip

me: who’s your favorite character so far?  roommate: that’s a tricky question. klaus is very entertaining to watch. allison is the most reasonable and i’m very interested to know, well, she seems like the best combination of reasonable and has the least selfish intentions. diego and luther i feel like are both good in a bland way in that they’re both doing good in the best way they can which usually involves punching people. five is fun. five is very fun. five is as fun to watch as klaus, they’re both very fun actors to watch on screen. they’re more expressive than diego and luther tend to be.  me: so which is your favorite?????  roommate: first instinct says allison, though she probably has the least dynamic or interesting arc so far

are hazel and cha-cha the best because their victims never see them coming?? like. they aren’t really THAT competent.

“I do LOVE the aesthetic of an ice cream truck playing ride of the valkyries” - my roommate is valid

“LOVE the hypersaturated background in this scene. it’s more fun that having it be desaturated.”

five looks so baby in this scene with the handler :(

still unsure where five got that handgun but i’m vibing

hate when she touches his face !! awful!!!

the handler’s little “all of them??” like yeAH ALL OF THEM even though they irritate the living FUCK out of each other. siblings man

ben gets shotgun for the getaway !!! go ben!

“I’m starting to think... given how space and reality seemed to be warping during her playing... that her medication... isn’t for anxiety...” - oh, oh roommate

ah i blocked out the leonard vanya make out as well

“DIDN’T YOU MEET HIM TWO DAYS AGO?” - yeah i feel u roommate

yup there’s helen’s body

“CSI call crime scene investigation - that’s going to start to smell real soon”

pogo: and you understand that the children can never know

me: actually pogo fuck you

and that’s episode 5 everyone thank you and goodnight

episode six

i do love a good flashback to klaus

klaus: sees a shirtless soldier and instantly falls in love

they don’T EVEN QUESTION HIM just “KATZ GET THIS MAN A PAIR OF PANTS” and they go with it?? he just APPEARED and they don’t even care

klaus was really just vibing in the 60s huh

wait this is like 1962 or 63 right

when does s2 take place?? also the 60s right???

didn’t kennedy die in 1963 i feel like what i know about s2 contradicts that date but i could have sworn they said a round trip to 1963??????

luther is SUCH A MOOD in the family briefing.

“aww he’s a bad liar” - roommate

“I realize that [the umbrella] was necessary for the title drop but where the fuck did that come from”

@ the handler please stop touching five,,, but also five has such. non reactions to her touching him. which worries me. like she grabs his shoulder walking alongside him and he doesn’t even look at her

why are there gas masks in the briefcase room...

can you IMAGINE if your boss toted a child into the room and introduced him as the Legendary Time Travelling Assassin that the whole office had a betting pool over who would die that one time and is Definitely approaching 60 not 13... and then called him LEADERSHIP MATERIAL. implying that this child will probably get a promotion before you do?? can you IMAGINE?

“again... two days ago...” roommate about leonard and vanya

vanya really chose literally just the worst time to come back to the academy huh

okay but vanya going off?? valid, but also,, i mean. it IS their dads fault that they don’t have any relationship with vanya?

luther: it’s about the moon  roommate: critical role moon theory

hey like. how did the family get together in the first timeline holy fuck. it’s hard enough to get them together when they Literally Know The World Is Going To End

so remember diego getting grazed with a bullet yeah well he has a sling on now which makes sense!! and yet. when five got grazed by a bullet he SLAPS A BANDAID ON IT. someone please address this.

five is such an asshole coworker i love it

i wonder if dot is a mother. or just a nice coworker. she keeps trying to talk to him and invite him to lunch aww

i wonder if it’s purposeful on the handler’s part to call him “mr. five” instead of “mr. hargreeves” to like... further isolate him from his family? by removing his last name they’re sort of removing his ties to his siblings considering it’s not like they’re related by blood

forgot how much i hate the bathroom scene !! wow !! hate it so much!!! there’s so many violations of social etiquette in such a short scene! it’s so deeply uncomfortable!

luther: stop it pogo! you know everything our dad did

i am remembering once again how much i hate pogo all over again!! reginald literally locked klaus in a mausoleum!! he abused the kids! pogo didn’t even speak up about sending luther to the MOON,,, oh luther :(

he just learned his dad exiled him for no reason he has lots of rights his entire world view was just shattered wow i am like infinitely more sympathetic to luther on the second watch

“I knew allison and luther was a thing. you told me allison and luther was a weird thing. still not a fan.” - my very valid roommate

they could have made the fort so much more sibling-y instead of romantic and it would have been so much better honestly

oh dave :(

“I wonder who her primary care physician is and if she can find out what that medication was...” roommate i wish i knew

“I’m trying to decide if he knew ahead to time to try and get at her specifically or like... i don’t know when he took the figurine I was like ‘doesn’t he own an antique shop is he there to steal antiques from the family home’.” roommate on leonard

forgot the handler gifted five a suit. also don’t like that. don’t like her talk about his body and everything either.

“is it too much to ask to give him two outfits? one he can wear now and one with the new body?” - roommate

honestly with hazel’s talk on budget cuts i’m not surprised he only gets one suit

STOP TOUCHING HIS FACE,,,, HANDLER. STOP TOUCHING HIS FACE

five and his sweet tooth. don’t take the candy five. come on. what did your father TEACH YOU. honestly reggie probably was like “let them get kidnapped it will probably teach them a life lesson”

“there were like... villages that needed rebuilding after disasters. he could have been sending these packages to legit lunar research facilities. legit facilities would have adored to have that information.” 

okay but people KNEW he was on the moon. cha-cha mentioned it. it was in vanya’s book. why were scientists not knocking down reginald’s door demanding the research??? if i was a moon scientist i would have the mansion staked out trying to demand info jesus

“love his eye fluttering in the way of ‘oh shit i got something in my eye i can’t break character scene is still going scene is stILL GOING’“ - hilarious observations from the allison luther fort scene 2.0: grown up version that gets erased

did they just leave the fort up all those years. did no one USE the green house??? did grace lovingly work around it all that time?

oh :(  dave :(

grace is capable of lying and pogo is a shadowy motherfucker

“okay now that they’re actually putting it into the plot i understand why you don’t think he’s trustworthy but you really got on my back about that”

in my defense i just hate him tbh i did not like him when he first showed up and i never particularly liked him tbh

allison: i think you’re the only person who knows who i am and likes me anyway

me, remembering the theory that allison rumored luther to love her: HMMMMMM

okay but i think the luther and allison dance scene is fucking HILARIOUS. absolutely ridiculous. i mean i hate that it’s incest but also the fucking LIGHTS DESCENDING. the RANDOM WARDROBE CHANGE. 

roommate likes the green underskirt thing under allison’s random dance dress

are they just doing this in public???

ugh. the kiss. ugh. erased that from my memory as well

“they clearly want romance in this show but they painted themselves into a corner with the siblings thing” - roommate

five and his fucking STAPLERS isn’t this the second time he’s knocked someone out with a stapler?? the bank robber and now gloria??

five please your siblings were finally doing some decent work on their own issues :/

five is the kind of dramatic as fuck entrances 

“love how he just grabs [allison’s] coffee. kid needs a coffee after all that.” - roommate

five actually does a good job of rallying the siblings though?? they just broke the fuck up in the og timeline

“something tells me that harold jenkins might be leonard”

oh roommate

episode seven

uh oh harold was born

i feel vaguely bad for him

“me the night before a convention” - roommate on harold’s tape and cosplay and everything

okay but how did reginald even KNOW harold jenkins had no powers?? did he? keep tabs on all the forty some kids not just the seven he kept?

but also why the fuck are these people laughing at An Actual Child fuck all of them honestly

“did HE kill hargreeves?? I mean. he’s got motive.” - roommate

harold really said “i think my superpower is actually this hammer motherfucker”

how did he get twelve years?? was he tried as an adult?? was he in juvie? how old WAS he

twelve years ago... they’re 29 soooo seventeen? he did NOT look seventeen? he was NOT seventeen in that flashback what???

roommate theorizes that harold ran off after the murder and committed petty crimes until caught and tried for murder when he was seventeen so was maybe 13 in the flashback

okay so i looked up the timeline and he got out in 2014 or something so he was like 13 in the flashback which makes SO much more sense honestly but also what the FUCK was he doing for five years

“he’s actually laying out all the facts as he knows them and I appreciate that.” -roommate about five briefing the team

five?? the only member of the family with communication skills? it’s? somehow more likely than you think?

“allison’s pants that she’s wearing now are the most perfectly tailored things i’ve ever seen. not even a wrinkle when she’s standing still. do you know how hard that is to do?” again my roommate noticing the things i absolutely do not

five. five. you have a GUT WOUND and also jumped a BUNCH OF TIMES. you are not blinking into the police station and getting the file. you need some SLEEP. and REST. and WOUND CARE FIVE FOR FUCK’S SAKE. you still have a GUNSHOT GRAZE on your upper arm and a SLICE on your wrist from DIGGING OUT A TRACKER. FIVE.

diego wants to be batman SO BAD.

five crossing his arms and Not Uncrossing Them because he’s literally HOLDING HIMSELF TOGETHER.

wow luther is really handling this so much worse in this timeline rip

luther is losing validity points for CHOKING KLAUS i knew this happened but i didn’t remember how awful it was !!! bad and terrible! and luther is very drunk and very sad and very angry. oh. he’s saying he never left the house and never had friends for nothing :(

klaus had the realization that reggie was an asshole YEARS ago and he’s just kind of like “aww. luther :(” 

klaus is trying so hard

“Klaus has had the most heart to hearts with the most siblings honestly.” - roommate

allison at the beginning making her laugh in the office with the EYES, five on the steps of meritech, diego after the vet bar, luther on the couch...

wow cha cha really thought hazel was talking about how meaningful his partnership was with her when he was talking about agNES

five limping up the lawn and staggering up the stairs and clinging to the rails baBY SIT DOWN. YOU ARE BLEEDING.

“inspiring leadership” “one of the greats” what a sibling moment honestly.

five really said “i think i will pass the fuck out now”

five really said “hey i am literally willing to die for this mission because this mission is the safety and lives of my entire family and i love you guys :(”

except he doesn’t because five is decent at information sharing but getting feelings out of him feels like pulling teeth at times smh

is leonard trying to vicariously live his “normal child born on the umbrella academy day discovers they have had powers the WHOLE TIME” dream through vanya??

we yell about how leonard and vanya have known each other for like a week but i mean same for hazel and agnes!! he’s literally asking her to run away with him and she says yes !!!!! agnes is here for the romantic adventure with this man she’s really living her first hot girl summer and living for it

“she’s having her own little rom com! she thinks she’s living in a rom com not a dark sci fi!” - roommate accurate as usual

she just called ben the emotional support ghost and i mean... she ain’t wrong

honestly klaus should have just left luther to his rave, he didn’t get to party in his teens or during his college years or anything

i do appreciate the viking yell of “B R O T H E R” that luther greets klaus with though because that’s exactly how i greet my own siblings whenever i see them

oh klaus :(

oh klaus :(

he’s having war flashbacks, cravings, is in withdrawal, AND experiencing sensory overload while reliving one of the more traumatizing moment of his life

oh klaus :(

five in a bed for the second time of the season which is nice for him. if only the first time wasn’t because he passed out drunk and the second time wasn’t because of a whole shrapnel wound. i am now that captain of the Let Five Sleep brigade holy SHIT like at least they imply that the others sleep five is just feral and ready to go at all times

are the police allowed to just. remove someone’s arm sling? is that permitted? his arm could be fucked up? i mean. it is? he was shot?

“I saw everything my brothers and sister could do ruin their lives” VANYA some REALIZATION up in here,,,, admitting that the umbrella academy wasn’t exactly a desirable place to be is actually some real growth for her and leonard just fucking shuts her down? fuck that man

VANYA SEE THE RED FLAGS FOR WHAT THEY ARE COME ON

oh klaus :(  oh luther :(  oh :(

“love his corset side pants, like benedict from violet evergarden” - on the topic of Klaus’s pants

“I made everyone else so I must have made you” says god except for the fact that the kids just... surprise popped up instead of coming about the natural way. maybe god DIDN’T made them????????

oh klaus :(  prepare for disappointment :(

oh i didn’t notice the photos of the umbrella academy in the barbershop the first time i watched this

so klaus gives an age for the mausoleum... thirteen... do you think that was before or after five left? statistically it’s probably after bc it was only a couple of months after they turned thirteen that five vanished

Klaus’s “we were just kids” breaks my heart every time

if i was one of reggie’s kids i would have just not gone to the funeral. rip to the hargreeves kids but i’m different

he doesn’t even call klaus klaus in death, he still calls klaus number four. fuck that man.

“i was gonna say i’d have been very very surprised if they kept him dead” - roommate on klaus waking up

“Five bucks says he set these guys up to try and get something out of her” - the roommate being very perceptive

cha cha is VERY rude to my girl agnes

honestly why DIDN’T hazel just kill cha cha after her whole speech and threats about killing agnes slowly in front of him???? like he literally watched her try to kill him as well

why wasn’t diego arrested in the original day that wasn’t actually?? he was being considered already. he still left the house, albeit with grace instead of allison. why wasn’t he arrested then???????? 

roommate thinks it’s interesting how committed the show is to their old timey shit. she used a nicer words like anachronisms but the point is: w h y

are these episodes even longer than i remember?? holy SHIT

[dragonrebelrose]

TROS Reaction 12-20-19. AKA my 6 page long dissertation about why I really disliked TROS.

I didn’t think it would be this bad. I truly thought there would be some gleaming moments of redeemability, but no. It’s one...giant...shit-show. What a horrible blow to the end of not only the sequel trilogy and these characters but to everything that came before. It really takes skill to mess up this badly.

A little something nice though, was the guy I sat next to. Really nice (and cute too ^-^ ) and he offered me some of his candy (Buncha Crunch! My favorite!) before the film started and then throughout the film because he said, “Well this is consolation for having to sit next to me.” Aw I couldn’t have asked for a better seat partner, I didn’t even know him! And then when the film ended he knew I didn’t take it well and I cried and shook through many moments and he offered the rest of his candy and I said, “Thanks, I think I need it.” I asked him what he thought overall and he said, “C-3P0 was pretty funny.” I said, “Yeah I agree. I actually knew everything that happened before I saw it, and I thought it was a mess.” He chuckled and said, “Me too, but I didn’t want to say anything in case you liked it.” I said, “Oh, no, I didn’t really like it. But I gotta be honest, Ben Solo didn’t deserve to die. That’s just my opinion.” I think he was surprised by that but didn’t disagree. He just kinda nodded or something and then we said goodbye and he left with his buddies, who also seemed pretty unenthused by the whole movie. Hopefully I gave him something to think about with my comment, but he was really nice and I’m glad he sat next to me.

Pessimism aside for now, I’ll start by listing the things I liked. I gotta be honest, there’s not much here.

Reylo is canon! But, in my opinion, it was handled pretty badly. Ben’s death is only the start of the problems for it, but more on that later.

C-3P0 is funny I guess. Yes he is annoying sometimes like usual, but not more so than other times.

D-O is freaking adorable. Out of everything good I’ve listed I have no qualms with this one. His manner is cute, his speaking is very funny, and his actions are just precious.

Babu Frik is very cute too, just perfect! Lovely little puppet! Don’t know why he was shoehorned in at the end battle but whatever. We never saw him again.

Maz is a puppet now? Okay, cool. Wish that would’ve been the case since the beginning. You had the technology JJ.

The music is good, when it’s given its own time to shine and be noticed. I feel like I barely noticed it was there because sound effects just drowned it out. Really wasted, but still good nonetheless.

Leia’s death and how it affected Ben. Wow. This was the first moment I truly cried. This was handled very well by Adam Driver, and then Maz saying “Goodbye, Princess.” Ouch, that got me.

Ben talking to the memory of his father! This is something I did not know was in the movie and boy am I glad I wasn’t spoiled for it! THIS is where the really hard tears and sobbing came. I was literally shaking and shivering trying to keep it in so as not to disturb everyone else. This. Part. Was. Perfect. Ben looks at him like he wants to say “I love you,” and Han says out loud “I know.” *crazy screaming and crying* Out of all the things they got wrong for Ben in this film, THIS they got right!

Ben Solo is the Solo boy we always wanted. Running in with a t-shirt, gun slinging, blasting opponents without even looking. THIS is a true son of Solo! But of course they give him no lines except “Ow.” THAT was a bad idea.

And that’s it. Yes those are the only things I even remotely liked, but I have to be honest, each one of these has some kind of problem attached to it which sours the real enjoyment.

On to what I disliked. Strap in lads, this is going to be a long ride.

1. The pacing. OH. MY. GOSH. SLOW. THE. FUCK. DOWN. For fucks sake I couldn’t even process what the hell was happening before we were on to the next thing! This was the biggest problem with the movie, BY FAR. Yes I know the story is terrible, we’ll get to that, but the pacing just completely took me out of the movie. I couldn’t feel invested in anything because it was all in one ear and out the other like ten-fold!

And this is part of the issue I have with how Reylo was handled. It. Felt. So. Rushed. And. Unfinished. There weren’t enough scenes with them and the scenes we did get were so fast and then over with that it felt like no progress was being made at all! It felt, for lack of a better word, unearned. And I know, that’s not really the case since they’ve had plenty of build-up in the last 2 films, but there wasn’t enough time with them spent NOT fighting and hating each other and opposing each other. Yes, I know, Kylo kept trying to get Rey to take his hand, but it doesn’t feel genuine because even Kylo feels out of character, and Rey too, big time. Now this isn’t the actor’s faults, they did what they could with the shitty story they were given, so I put all this blame at JJ’s desk.

In any case the overall film pacing was too fast, too much, too soon, too many things onscreen, too many things happening at once, not enough character, not enough motivation, not enough letting scenes breathe and just play out naturally. Everything felt forced for the sake of the “plot.” Oh we gotta get this thing, and then that thing, to get this thing, so we can defeat these guys! LET. US. BREATHE.

2. The story. My gosh, they couldn’t have picked a worse storyline to follow. Everything truly felt like it was written by a fanboy who wanted to retcon everything in TLJ, even down to the dialogue. Everyone keeps saying to Rey “You’re a Palpatine.” But it sounds SO strange, like nobody says things like this. I get it, it’s a space fantasy, they talk weird mumbo jumbo but it just sounds like a fanboy ghost wrote this. Like we gotta have everyone know now she’s a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! You’re a Palpatine! Palpatine heir! All bow down to the Palpatine! Give me a break.

3. Yeah, let’s talk about Palps. The old raisin himself. You know, I never really liked ROTS, but Palps was always a great thing about it. He was sinister, diabolical, he had a plan and knew what to do with it. But this Palps. *le heavy sigh* What a waste this was. For one thing, the lightning effects that lights up his face is really annoying, even for someone who doesn’t get seizures, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for those who do, I’m so sorry. And like, he has this whole legion of Sith followers? The fuck? Where the hell were these guys before? I’m sure they existed BEFORE the last Sith Lord died, right?

I digress. I have a question though: why does he want Rey so much? Why didn’t he try to get his son to take over? Wouldn’t that have been easier? Also, WHO DID HE FUCK TO GET A SON?? HOW DID HIS SON GET AWAY FROM HIM?? WHY DID HIS SON APPARENTLY TURN TO THE LIGHT?? THERE’S TOO MANY QUESTIONS HERE AND NO GOOD EXPLANATIONS. AND NO DISNEY, I DON’T WANT A 10-PART COMIC ON THIS. GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

The only interesting thing about Palps in this film is that his face gets melted off like a Raiders of the Lost Ark knock-off. He better not be coming back. Ever again.

4. And hey, while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about Rey’s parents. So apparently they’re both good people. *le sigh* But what kind of good people leave their daughter alone on a harsh and unforgiving planet with a blubber guy? And don’t tell me they didn’t know he was an abusive asshole, they LIVED on Jakku, they HAD to have known him, ESPECIALLY if they truly were junk traders, they would have DEALT with him. Oh, and apparently the “I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise” line is changed up a bit and given to her father after all. No. Screw that. That line was meant for Ben, I don’t care how petty this sounds, this is terrible. So yeah, fuck Rey’s parents, I don’t care how “good” you try to make their intentions, they’re badly shoehorned in and they screw up anyway. Next.

5. Ben’s story and his fate. So yeah, obviously I hate that Ben died, but more than that I hate how his story was handled here. It was so rushed, it didn’t feel as natural as it should have. It needed time to BREATHE. A lot of time! And I feel like they really shafted Kylo/Ben’s story off to the side to give more time to the hereby named GoldenTrio. (You know who I mean...we’ll get to them.) It really seemed like JJ didn’t even care about Ben’s fate anymore, and just kind of put it in as an afterthought. His death scene? Not even given a fucking minute to process because WE GOT TO PARTAY. All in all, his whole story is so terribly sad that I don’t even know if I can watch TFA or TLJ anymore, knowing how it ends.

6. The GoldenTrio. Oh for fucks sake, JJ, you should have killed Poe off when you had the chance, because now the story is all about THEM. Boom! They’re literally front and center in the movie. I don’t even think Reylo gets as much screen time as them. I mean really, Ben’s death scene and Rey’s grieving gets 1.5 minutes, tops. GoldenTrio reunion and threesome hugging? 5 fucking minutes of nothing but them hugging. I’m not even exaggerating. (Okay maybe I am, but it’s given more focus and time to “breathe” than Ben Solo’s fucking death. I’m getting a headache remembering it.)

Hey, remember in ESB and ROTJ where the trio got split up and had their own story lines and own purposes to fulfill without each other hanging around (apart from Han and Leia because their story lines are interconnected)? Yeah, I miss that too.

Also, Rey keeps wandering off being “pulled” to something, and every...single...time, Finn is like “Rey, wait! Poe we gotta get her! rEy CoMe BaCk!!” This happens at least 5 times, pretty consecutively too. It gets old real fast. Boy do I miss the days of TLJ where people got to be away from each other to discover new things without interference.

Which leads me to another point: They tried to shove FinnRey in here while shitting on FinnRose quite literally. What. A. Slap. To. The. Face. This is horrible treatment, and I hope Kelly will never do another interview for Lucasfilm again. She doesn’t deserve this.

7. The Ending™. Wow. What a way to show that your characters haven’t progressed at all by showing them in the same environment that they started in. Let’s do an overview: Rey starts out alone on a desert planet and meets a droid that isn’t hers. Rey ends up alone on a desert planet with a droid that still isn’t hers. PROGRESSION 101!! *slaps forehead* I mean, don’t even get me started on the fact that Ben isn’t there with her and that literally one half of her soul is gone (how is she not in agony right now??), but then to add more salt to the wound she’s just like “oh yeah I must be the rightful successor to the Skywalker name, even tho I’m a Palps...makes sense to me!” Fuck off. You don’t deserve that title after hating Luke for not doing what you wanted him to do and for hating Ben for most of this movie too.

Can we also acknowledge that this is THE ABSOLUTE WORST POSSIBLE WAY TO END A 40 YEAR SAGA AND FAMILY LEGACY? So, Palps had a kid who had a kid. This kid is then deemed a-okay by the family that was affected most by Palps and they welcome her like the sunshine child she is, yet shun their own offspring for being damaged goods because he was being manipulated by said Palps. Okay, it’s official now, everyone’s an asshole...except Ben. He seemed to be the only one to understand his faults and right his wrongs and not be an idiot. Then the kid who was abused and manipulated is killed because “reasons” or “problematic” or whatever and the offspring of Palps lives while the family that Palps manipulated is ultimately gone forever because it’s last descendant wanted to save the offspring of Palps out of the goodness of his heart. Now the offspring of Palps doesn’t even give a flipping thank you and steals their name. wHaT a SaTiSfYiNg EnDiNg!!! Someone gag me.

8. Luke’s X-Wing being raised out of the water and it’s in perfect working condition. What. The. Fuck. I don’t know if you guys realize this, but this completely undermines Luke’s arc in TLJ. That X-Wing was sunk and dead to show that he had no desire to return to the outside world. He was staying on the island. For good. And he buried that thing in water to make sure he couldn’t use it ever again, but it was still visible to him to remind him of his conviction if ever he questioned it. But no. That thing is a-okay and ready to fly. No need for parts, there’s no rust or any sea salt corrosion, ready to go skipper! This was just added for easy call-backs to ESB but boy this had absolutely 0 weight to it. I literally yawned or looked at my watch around this part thinking “oh my gosh isn’t it over yet?” Pretty much sums up my entire experience.

9. Rose got shafted to appease the fanboys. This one needs no further explanation or analysis, it just sucks and has no real reason to exist.

10. Luke was barely in it and offered not that great advice. Poor Mark. His performance really peaked with TLJ and never went back up.

11. Rey is suddenly the Avatar now? You can now talk to all previous Jedi’s who existed? What buffoonery is this? Oh, but Ben doesn’t get a single. fucking. word. from Anakin, the man he looked up to. I’m so tired right now. What’s left?

12. The message changed from “it doesn’t matter if you’re a nobody, you’re a somebody to me” to “you’re a somebody with a bad bloodline, but that doesn’t define you (except when it totally does)”. That sort of message would be fine if it had been the message since TFA, but it wasn’t. The message since TFA was “I’m a nobody, but I can become a somebody regardless of my lineage or my childhood.” Why change the message in the 11th hour? To appease fanboys. Literally anything that makes no sense in this movie can be attributed to fanboys. There’s so much contradiction and hypocrisy in this film from both the narrative and the characters that it’s insulting.

13. Hux was utterly shafted too. What a waste of a well built up and conniving little bastard who in the end gets shot for shock value and laughs. It’s like what TLJ did but way worse because he’s actually killed. Hux as the spy? Just no.

14. Jannah was kind of wasted too, not enough screen time. I get her and Finn kind of bonding over being ex-stormtroopers, but it’s not really delved into. Also the whole “nature vs. machinery” thing kinda briefly shows up at the big battle and feels unearned too, because there was nothing before in this movie or others to suggest there was a war between the two.

15. Poe is treated more as the heir to Leia than Ben is. Poe gets to fly the falcon and gets to wreck it up (dishonoring who it belonged to before), gets to be by Leia’s deathbed, etc. Not earned at all.

16. The pointlessness of random cameos or thrown in references. Not a single person in my theater noticed John Williams as the bartender, nobody pointed out or said anything about any reference from previous movies, it was silent.

17. What the hell was even the point of the whole “Dark Rey” vision? Oh, she shows her scary pointy teeth ala Bilbo style. No thank you.

18. Why the hell does it feel like these characters aren’t the characters from TFA and TLJ? They feel so different and it’s noticeable.

19. Finn is Force sensitive. Literally tacked on like nobody wouldn’t notice. We noticed JJ. We notice everything.

20. Rey and Kylo/Ben fighting for way too much of the film and their interactions. Not enough caring or understanding, not enough longing looks, it feels like their romance was almost cut from the film entirely.

21. Oh yeah, Rey floating at the beginning? Looked stupid as hell. And the “Be with me” line? I thought maybe, just maybe, she meant Ben, but no. She’s trying to reach “her past selves” like the fucking Avatar and she’s even floating rocks around like Aang did. Ugh.

22. Anything else? Oh yeah, this movie sucks completely and wholly...FOR NOT GIVING ONE FUCKING LINE OF DIALOGUE TO BEN SOLO AFTER HE HAD BEEN REDEEMED. HOW HEARTLESS CAN YOU BE THAT YOU LET HIM DIE WITHOUT SAYING ONE FINAL THING?!?! DAMN J.J. YOU’RE STUPID.

And that’s it. Kudos if you read the whole thing. I ramble a lot.

[what-a-messsss]

2x3 rewatch

I keep forgetting that Brach is still in S2.  Oops.  Also, I apparently went to check something in S6 last time I watched something, so it started at 6x2 instead of 2x3 and I yelled.  But anyway, on with this mess.  “Death Came in Like Thunder” apparently.  It sure did.

Ah yes, let us not forget that Branch is MANLEH.  This shall be proven to us by him murdering his cousin, Trunk, with big ax.  Chop chop, Branch, kill Trunk.  But oh no, must also show that he is People Smart, so must also lose because this makes him likable.  And many white people clap.  Yaaaay.  But be sure to say, “I let him win, Ferg,” while your competitor is right next to you, so he almost surely heard you.  Good good.

Oh Ferg.  Could you look more gormless if you tried?  (I mean, probably not, since presumably that was the goal of the actor, so he would have been trying.  But still.)  Bb.

Heh, nice thematic cut to Walt also chopping wood.  And YAY, Henry’s gorgeous truck (and gorgeous self).  I’m just going to take a moment to appreciate the fact that Henry rolls up and just helps himself to some of Walt’s thermos of coffee.  Because of course he does.  But I do so love these touches that they put in that do underline the fact that they are married have been besties for going on 40 years.  Also, I love this jacket of Henry’s.  The woven top, jean jacket sort of one?  Yeah, top 5 costume pieces of his for me.  (Also on that list, all basically tied with each other, basically any pants he wears.  I am reminded, when they cut back out to a full body shot.  Because I am very shallow, and he is very pretty.)

Haaaaaa.  And of course Cady talked to Henry before she talked to Walt.  Walt is a butthead.  And, yeah yeah, she just found out that he’d been lying to her for over a year, but that just proves my point that Walt is a butthead.  And we’re back to this whole idea that she left her phone, which just... ugh.  No.  But Henry’s face when he says that she said that she is safe, and he’s so worried, but still willing to respect her boundaries.

“She is an adult, Walt.”  “She’s my daughter.”  For fuck’s sake, you jackass, your ADULT daughter; that’s the whole flipping point!  Also, that little emphasis on my daughter, pfft.  If you didn’t want to feel like she preferred her cool dad to you, maybe try being less of an AAAAAAASSHOLE.  And, like, respecting her.  Even a weensy little bit.

“Etta Place”  I don’t remember if we find out why that’s the ‘assumed name’ that Cady chose, but I’m intrigued.  Wait, I just googled.  Looooool.  She spent years with Butch and Sundance.  Nice.

Walt is such a soft touch with teens.  *snack crackle pop* that kneecap back into place.  Vic starts this scene saying, “The 911 operator,” though, which is interesting, because I was kind of under the impression that Ruby was the main dispatcher, so it would be kind of heartening if she actually had back up with that.  ...Or maybe they’re just far enough out that a cell call made would be picked up by a tower farther out and have to be routed back in to the station/them.  I have no idea how that actually works.  Another rabbit hole for me to totally not go down.  Hopefully.  Shit.  They’ve apparently upped the fine for trespass since the show, though, because it’s $750 (or 6 months in jail) now and Walt says it’s $500.

And once again, we see Vic actually wearing gloves while investigating a suspicious death, and Walt just squinting into the distance helpfully.  I suppose “things got bad” in Basque country around WWII, but there has been friction there that dates back before the Spanish Civil War, or even the Carlist Wars the previous century.  It did get gnarly with the dictatorship of Franco, and the formation of the ETA in retaliation, though, so yeah.  (Francisco Franco is also on the list of people who anybody with a time machine should go back and beat the shit out of.)

Shit, I forgot about the animal death.

Knock knock, no answer.  Better just wander in without a warrant.  I know that the guy who they know lives there is dead, but still, no fricking warrant; I suppose the worry of a poisoning could count as probably cause?  

Gods, but there are moments when I do absolutely adore Vic, and they are usually when she’s taking the piss out of Walt.  “Reclusive bachelor chic; you and Marco have the same decorator.”  Looool.  But also, sad, because Martha has only been gone for a little over a year, and Walt is not the kind of person who would, like, change stuff and get rid of her things, so that’s kind of odd.  Maybe Henry and/or Cady went though and put away some of her things to try to help Walt move on?  But damn, the ‘excuse you’ look on Walt’s face when she does say it, pffft.

AND AGAIN, Vic wearing gloves, Walt with his bare ass hands picking up the picture of Picasso’s Guernica; can you at least *pretend* you’re a cop, *some* of the time, buddy?

Lol at the barrabilak; they are pretty well by the Rocky Mountains, so it’s probably not all that surprising that Walt’s had some “Rocky Mountain oysters” before.

I had forgotten that Vic had four brothers.  But her comment about Sal going off to look after the sheep and how if someone had told her that one of her brothers were dead she “wouldn’t care about any damn sheep,” I don’t know.  It kind of annoys me.  It’s totally in character for her, which is good, but I think it’s part of what can annoy me about her character.  Different people grieve differently, but also, I know she’s only been in Wyoming for a year or two, tops, but how is it so hard to fathom that someone one would be concerned about their livelihood, even in the face of personal tragedy?  Just, seeing beyond her own very narrow experience doesn’t seem like something she’s very good at.  It would be one thing if she’d framed it as “this is suspicious, and here’s why I think so as a cop,” but it was, “I wouldn’t react that way personally, so it’s sus.”  

Sure, be suspicious because there’s a suspicious death and family members are always suspects until ruled out, but approach it like a cop.  Or at least think about it from more angles than just your own, not terribly similar experience.  You’re a white city cop who can’t (or won’t) adjust to being in BF rural-ville, but these are immigrant shepherds whose family come from a homeland where the cops were just as likely to kill you as answer questions, and you’re side-eying a guy for going to make sure that their meal ticket doesn’t get obliterated?

I need to keep reminding myself that I really did want to like Vic.  I really did.  She just... they don’t make it easy for me.  Maybe she’s serving as an avatar for audience who don’t know about some of the culture stuff, and the audience get answers from her ignorance?  But honestly, I wish they’d picked a different way to handle that, if that’s what they were trying to do.  Her response to Henry being salty about Thanksgiving still really pisses me off.  Because it was shitty and racist, and... do we really need a character basically rolling their eyes and saying, “It was so long ago, why don’t you just get over it,” about something that is intrinsically tied to the genocide of so many people?  Why are Indigenous people just supposed to “get over it” but “Remember the Alamo” and “Southern Pride,” and shit?  Fuck’s sake.  Honestly, that might have been the moment when they lost me on her character.  She has moments where she’s awesome, but they never really address her being fucking racist or give her a chance to grow into a better person.  Which sucks a lot.  Fuck.  Ok, that was a lot.  Sorry.  Back to the actual ep.

AH, nice of you to beam in from the campaign trail, Brancheroo!

Uh, so I paused it to look at pic in the newspaper, and then being me, started to look at the articles surrounding the pic.  And the one with the headline “Fans Injured At Local Game” is actually about the Stewart case?  From 1x3?  I’m guessing that somebody went to the trouble of writing up an article for that for some S1 ep after it and they just plugged it in because when not paused, you might catch “Sheriff Longmire” there and that’s all they need.  Especially since the text starts to repeat after the first paragraph.  (I am the worst pedantic little shit.)  Ooooor, maybe even though it’s S2, it’s hardly been any time since 1x3?  The date on the newspaper is March 31, 2012, so there’s a timeline hint. 

Awwwwww, once Walt points out the bird, Ferg knows exactly what it is.  Occasional twitcher, are we, my lad?  “A red-tip meadowlark,” indeed.  Oh bb; Ferg’s face when he sees Walt looking at the pic of him with Branch in the paper.

“You go too fast, you miss the little things.”  Every once in a while, he actually sort of mentors Ferg.  I wish he did more of that, especially since we see later how capable Ferg can be.

Go suck an egg, Branch.  Why does she get all the “good” assignments?  Maybe because she was actually on the job when they found the body, not campaigning.

OPE.  Lizzie’s gift.  Yeah, I’d probably choke on that coffee if I were you, too, girl.  Better hope that there wasn’t perishable food stuffs in that gift, because that has been in there for a whiiiiiile, hasn’t it.  Wait, was Ferg in the office when Lizzie dropped off the gift?  Because his face said more than just “Did somebody give Vic a present?”  Suuuuper subtle with that whole pushing the drawer closed with your foot there, Vic.  Pfffft.

“Cyrano Caballero”  How daaaare that skeeve take Cyrano’s name in vain?!?!  (I have a thing about Cyrano de Bergerac.  It’s quite possibly my favourite play, and I adore the character, and have exactly 0 chill about it at all.  I find Brian Hooker’s translation of “The Ballade of the duel at the Hotel Bourgogne Between de Bergerac and a Boeotian” with “Then, as I end the refrian, thrust home,” vastly superior to any other translation that I’ve heard or read, though for the rest of it, I will grant that there are others to be preferred.  But that version of his Ballade is exquisite, and I will not be swayed.  Holy shit, FOCUS.  That is so very much not the point.)  It’s not even a throw away line in this ep, it’s just a random, very well chosen, if utterly appallingly insulting, company name.  It’s actually incredibly clever for what the business is, and if it didn’t make me so stomping mad, I would applaud whoever came up with it heartily.

Vic’s face listening to this jackass’ spiel is a thing of beauty.  “A good woman goes a long way of easing the obvious stresses of your daily life,” the jackass says, cutting his eyes at Vic when he says “obvious stresses,” and I caaaackle.

What is it about this guys’ horrible glasses that just makes him so much more hate-able?  I’m not entirely sure, but kudos to whatever costumer put those on him, because they are perfect.  In the ‘I want to punch him’ way of perfection.

And after all of that about Walt’s “lady friend,” Vic brings Lizzie’s present.  Womp womp.  That went super well.  Yuuuup, run while you can.

Poor Ferg.  Branch manipulates him, Vic ignores him, Walt shuts him down...  Poor guy just can’t get a break.

I actually kind of like this motel manager--the one who “doesn’t judge people” and is a stickler for warrants?  At least somebody in this county cares about warrants.  Also, those doors are actually really pretty.  Nice colour, and the carved scrollwork designs are nice.

What an odd shot: the one when they’re coming out of Walt’s office after talking to Skeevy McGrossFace and Rosa.  It’s a weird sort of shaky-cam stepping back, just preceding Branch walking, and then turns to follow him when he sit’s on his desk.  But it’s a really different style of shot than I can remember, so much so that it’s a bit jarring, especially after the series of nearly stationary close ups that we just had.  Weird. [18:42-18-50]

Cady!  I haven’t made much note of her costuming before this, but it seems notable that’s she’s only in monocromatics.  Especially next to Fales in muted tones, but still some colour, and surrounded by the colourful grafitti of the alley where her mother was stabbed.  Nice way of setting her apart from everything.

SHEEPIES!  Ooooo, that wagon is so cool.  Ah dang, the way that Sal corrects Walt’s pronunciation of his brother’s name is so gloriously passive aggressive.  Good for you, my dude.  Names are important, and people should have the respect to make the effort to get them right.

Aaaaaand Walt, the definition of Do, Don’t Tell, just shoves the guy to keep him from drinking the possibly dangerous water, rather than, like, using his words.  Walt’s gonna Walt.

Iiiiiiiii am a mess, truly.  It cuts to an architectural model and I start giggling like a 6th grader, because I know it’s going to be a Jacob scene.  He’s not even on screen yet, ffs.  HANDS.  I’m fine.  Totally fine.  (That’s totally a lie.  I just rewound to the beginning of the scene because I kept giggling too much to pay attention.  What the hell.)  First time we’ve seen one of the chips, which at this point must be a marketing mock-up, since nothing is built yet.  And he actually types, not just doing the hunt-and-peck thing that is sometimes easier on a tablet.

Looking at the weaving that is up on his wall (maybe a rug?) I’m hoping that the prop people actually did buy from Northern Cheyenne artisans.  They apparently did most of their filming in New Mexico, so I hope they made the effort to get the patterns right, and buy from the actual tribe they’re supposed to be portraying, I guess?  And now I’m distracted by the fact that the random hanging light behind Jacob is at a weird angle?  

Look, ever since I realized that the “Hey,” that Jacob does is apparently just A (thanks to it also happening in That Damned Xmas Movie) I am endlessly amused (and charmed) whenever Jacob does it.  I don’t know why it makes me so happy, but it does.  (This is legitimately embarrassing.  How much trouble I am having focusing.  Beyond my normal focus issues, which, as shown above, are already impressive.  Because thiiiiirst.)

“My boys at the lumber yard did just throw you a campaign rally.”  I love how Jacob is basically apparently not just his secret angel-investor, but also a sneaky campaign manager.  Did Branch just think shit like the rally just happened?  He’s not fricking Ferris Bueller; somebody organizes those.  And apparently it’s either Jacob himself, or someone who Jacob appointed to do so.

“I thought you were just a casino developer.”  You have noooo clue, Brancheroo.  “I prefer to remain a silent partner.  White people get nervous when Indians start taking back their land.”  Oooooope.  Especially interesting because there are previsions for the Tribal Council to purchase land to be Tribal land (Section 6 of Article IX of the Tribal Constitution), but this seems more along the lines of personal acquisition.  Though maybe not, because “on the board” doesn’t necessarily equate to being the owner.

The set up of Jacob’s office is so interesting.  Functionally for the show, it’s probably for better shooting angles, so that we can see more of Jacob behind the desk while Branch is sitting in front of it, but from an in-the-verse decorating standpoint, bit’s fascinating.  He has this focal wall with the gorgeous wall hanging, flanked by floor to ceiling window, but instead of having his desk centered on that wall and directly facing the bulk of the room, it’s at an almost 45 degree angle on a huge rug, and it’s so unexpected.  I kind of love it, and want to analyze it for days.  Also worth noting is that pride of place is given to the  Hotamétaneo’o headdress which is on a stand centered in front of the wall hanging.

How fucking tired must Jacob be.  He’s used to Walt... Walting, but then Branch comes in, who he is literally spending his own money to support in his bid for sheriff, and he pulls the same shit of assuming that he’s behind Bad Shit.  And then Branch frames it as “bad P.R,” so he’s there to “discuss it with [him] privately.”  And then basically threatens him with Walt.  I swear.  ...there is something a little amusing about Walt being used as the stick in the carrot and a stick method of negotiating.  He certainly is enough of a blunt object most of the time.

Oh fuck you so much, Branch.  Playing the “can’t give you details about an ongoing investigation” card as though you have some professional or moral leg to stand on after basically blackmailing Jacob with Walt’s vendetta is just such shit.  You don’t get to look down your nose at Jacob’s quid pro quo pragmatism when you were the one who came to him for financial backing.  You sanctimonious little shitheel.  If you didn’t want to deal with Jacob, you shouldn’t have taken his $100k.  He’s a business man, and you’re an investment, and not a quixotic one.

“He’s probably the only person to have died from [hemlock] since Socrates.”  And then Walt’s incredulous look and her, “Alright, I googled it,” were subtle comedic gold.

Ooooooo, that was a nice little shot.  Not quite foreshadowing, but showing Branch’s suspicions and sort of inviting the audience to share them.  Walt says his bit about the Army poisoning “Indian wells” to kill them off and get their land, and then we see Branch fiddling with the Four Arrows chip and narrow his eyes considering and slip the chip into his pocket, looking suspicious.  It’s a really neat little moment of visual storytelling, no lines, literally three seconds long, just sort of snuck in there, but super effective.  Really nicely done.

And again, Cady is in monochromatics.  And, shit, just gave Fales Henry’s name.  Aaaaaand right after, she realizes that the junkie was killed and realizes that it had to have been one of her dads (or so she thinks).

Sal’s monologue in the cell is a good emotional payoff that plays off of Vic’s comments towards the beginning of the episode.  I see the narrative worth of her making them, and how the structure of the episode benefits from it; but seeing those writing elements from the outside of the show doesn’t make me able to like her as a character who said them in-universe.  And then the threat Sal makes of vengeance on someone who killed one he loves also underscores the stuff with Cady’s investigation into her mother’s death very well.  As much as I gripe about the writing *cough S6 cough finale cough* there really is some damn good writing in this show, and I don’t show enough appreciation for it.

Huh, and now there’s a sort of inverse of that weird shot preceding Branch from earlier, but this one is much more effective and less off-putting.  This one [33:00] precedes Walt as he walks back into his office, still a medium close up, but it’s much steadier, and the way it is framed, it does quite a bit to convey his mindset, and he walks out of the shot and we see the three deputies following him in like baffled ducklings, making the shot serve another purpose, too.  Which honestly makes that earlier shaky follow shot of Branch even weirder, because this one was so much better.

And then Walt has his creepy little speech about how someone would want to watch the light go out of their eyes and not caring if you get caught.  I do appreciate that when he’s talking about the psychology of killing with poison he doesn’t just call it a “woman’s method” which media so often does.  It might have been the writers keeping who the killer was abstruse, but it was still more gender neutral.  Especially since according to The U. S. Department of Justice's report on Homicide Trends in the United States (1980 to 2008) of all poison killers in that time period, 60.5 percent were male and 39.5 percent female.  (Table 5 on page 10.)  So that long held idea that even Sherlock Holmes was written to have that poison is “of course” a woman’s weapon is pretty crap.

Awwww, the good old days when Walt paid attention to animals.  ...I am still bizarrely salty about the fact that he never named his horse.  What a good pupper!  

And then we have a classic example of Sneaky!Walt, which always takes people quite by surprise, because he’s usually as subtle as Miley Cyrus.

Also because when he does this, it tends to be pretty fucked up, in a Make Someone Think They’re About To Die way.  And then he does His Thing, where he just lays out all of his suppositions, with no proof, only the terror of her thinking that she’s been poisoned and you’re withholding medical intervention to get her to confess.  And is, irritatingly, correct about his theories.  But I’m pretty sure this qualifies as coercing a confession?  She thinks she’s fucking dying.  Even Vic looks at him like it’s fucked up, and her moral compass where he’s concerned is... skewed.

They way this reveal was played out, (”How’d they find her so fast?”  “Hard to say...”) is somewhat ambiguous as to whether it’s supposed to be that Branch went there to tell Jacob or not, but I kind of doubt it?  I kind of figure that the meeting that Jacob was having when Branch rambled in was already with Rosa signing the paperwork.  Jacob is smart.  So, HAH.  Little good your “can’t comment on an ongoing investigation” schtick did.

And then the news that someone in law enforcement has been asking after Henry.

“Lizzie was waiting for you here tonight.  You should talk to her, Walt.  She seems to think she is in a relationship with you.”  ....omgs.  The tone.  I mean, yes, the blisteringly glorious SASS, but how does one not read that as incredibly shippy?  Howwwww?

“You are an honest man, Walt.  I would like you to stay that way.”  Oh Henry.  When did you decide that you weren’t?  Was it when you hired Hector?  Or was there something before?  ...I feel like there were things before that.  Hello darkness my old friend.

“It is not your job to protect me.”  “It is my job...”  THOSE WERE THE DAYS.  Those were the fucking daaaaaays.  And the emotions on Henry’s face after Walt says, “That was my right,” as though Henry cheated him of something.  I am so deep in OT3 feels I cannot even see daylight here.  The feels of them having been an OT3 and then Walt pulling this shit, and Henry having to defend his own “right” to avenge Martha?  It wrecks me.  “A good woman was murdered.  A bad man is dead.  End of story.”  

[misterbitches]

Dude yong jie’s character is literally unbearable this is like how not to write a vharacter 101

Our first intro to him is stalking, then PUNCHING someone in the LIVER bc the person he “loves” was fucking drunk and he blames his best friend? Then his mom is like “lmao actually um hes psycho” so anything they try to do retroactively like how they peppered in HIS DAD DIED A BLOO BLOO but previously it was also his OWN MOM going “im afraid he’ll lose his humanity” so not only was there no breathing room then it’s bumrushing him into their lives as best friends and it doesnt work. This dude sucks and he isnt even fun to watch. You know how breaking bad has one of the most abysmal main characters of all time but all of us were fucking ENGROSSED but the show made it clear that every enemy he faces, even the DEA, we want THEM to win (it is also a class analysis but woreva) so i am like wtf they show us literally nothing here. He’s just there. Wasting space and being awful. What is the purpose of his character in ssu’s life? Once you rape someone it is fucking over full stop but he didnt even fucking manage to start off in any compelling fucking way. Absolutely bonkers dude Esp bc theres at least a base moral code ie DONT HARRASS GIRLS UR “INTO” and thats why mei fang the absolute mad lad beaut was like “lmao nah i hate u”

Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo?????????????????????????????????? WHERE IS THE WRITING HERE? WHAT IS THE SCRIPT? awhat is the PROGRESSION? This is such an insanely fucking dumb plo5 point i rly cannnnjnnntoeiwijshsgsgsgsgsgsgeggwiwowiw GORL

Lets talk abt the good things in the characters (theres none for yong jie hes just there being a little bitch)

Li cheng - himbo dumbass “manly” cutie and the manly stuff is fun cos it gets heaped on and yet every bit of him can be extremely “feminine” and jubilant. Great.

Muren - seems >:O but i rly like that hes actually pretty open in his own way. Side note: he is so thin and willow-y i rly loke tall pretty boys (and all women lmao) and he doesnt do it for me but He suits the character like his body and the way his character is. Also u gotta be weird and he is

Hsinng ssu (girl im never gonna learn how to spell their names it’s too much work cos the eng alphabet andnromanization is terrible) - mild mannered, good son, a homosexual confirmed confirmed g”(awesome!) great friend, good brother (and i guess his reward is being raped, great message!) and someone ppl like

The establishment of the three of them and their distinct personalities happens within minutes and then we meet

Yongjie - what about him? He may have an MI, okay, but we dont know for sure and oh gee that doesnt matter actually bc u have to get urself treated and also not be terrible. Not even psychopaths do the shit he does BC THEY HAVE TO GET HELP. Why the parents didnt get him help and are just realizing their son is terrible? Who knows . His purpose seems yo be “boy obsessed with brother like his actual brother” i dont care id they arent related in that way bc that’s not the fucking crux of incest and it is so insanely Fucked every thing to do with incest is almost always a disgusting powe r issue. WHAT PURPOSE DOES HE SERVE? WHAT DO WE ONOW ABOUT HIM OTHER THAN HE IS A FUCKING JERK AND AN IDIOT AND SUCKS AND I HATE HIM AND THAT HE WANTS TO STALK AND ATTACK THIS REALLY AWESOME FUCKING DUDE OK

There’s no returning point deom rhe line they croased byt theyb set him up for failure. Even in the fight hes a fucking cheater hes a goddamn immature rat they know he fucking sucks but he just sits there and waits for everyone else to move around him. A fucking selfish prick with nor edeeming qualities snd hes also a violent rapist stalker. Really great that thry have no clue how to make this dude actually have any humanity or likeability. Hes the man from 365 days basically except not even that hot and at least he kidnapped her but “WAITED” for “CONSENT” but in that movie’s world nothing mattered and it was bad and the point was to have a horny movie. But this show is for younger ppl and also IT HAS RULES AND IT KNOWS WHAT BAD ACTIONS ARE???? Soooooooooooooo in all these other dumb salacious books there seems to be just a mutual agreement that it’s fucked up but totally normal i their movie’s universee (it isnt and it is still just bad filmmaking)

Also it is up to yong jie to figure put how to get over it and understand that his brother is concerned for him. Bc it is. His brother. There’s a reason that incest is never advisable and thays bc there is no way in that situation that people aren’t somehow being coerced. There has to be a sort of split in the pursuer and the person being pursued bc one person is not thinking that way. (This is why people who find out they are related after the fact and havent grown up together is something thatms really unfortunate. They had no idea and they have to grapple with that but that is another scenario and it happens bc THEY DIDNT GROW UP TOGETHER.) i have experienced this from a (not immediate) fam member and i was the vulnerable one, had less powr, that is how it must go.

Thats why the power imbalance is scary and none of this is acceptable but it begs the question how did they get to this point? But the show doesnt even address that bc they cant bc theyre not original. And power imbalance does not mean automatic absolutely not territory. Theres things we dont like (in my casee i hate age gaps a lot) but i will avoid that.

I havemt seen “right or wrong” and i have no desire but from what ive garnered from ppl i like who liked that episode, the show outlined the moral issues with it. Idk if they did it in a way i would have preferred (again no desire) but at lesst from what ive heard it...tries? Idk i dont see the need for these if they dont give us a reason why these ppl should be together and there’s several lines that cannot be crossed that were. Basically it’s like stockholm syndrome now and there’s no choice for him, it goes beyond power imbalance and “legality” so to speak and now it’s just entrapment.

Theres not even avoiding or enjoying. Even for MODC as stupid as i found the secondary rship and negligent even like ok. Fine. Whatever. His boyfriend is 100 but at least it was semi agreed upon. It is what it is, go forth. I will criticize it but at least it was the story and as stupid and gross as i think it is and they will probs break up (idc what the show says) at least there are set ups that can make us see “why” it works and oh, gee, their whole rship relies on a different fucked up but at least at some point it could possibly be transcended. The foundation of youngjie is “rape entrapment and aw now they are in lvoe” BITCH NOOOO???? Where is the REASON? And why should we root for them? (There is none and when the Thing happens it is now impossible for that not to be absolutely foundational to their rship lmao and that is never something that goes away.)

I would like to say theres nothing romantic int he flashbacks i know thats what theyre trying to twll us but the actor is 30 and that child is like 8.

Im not missing the point bc i see it with my eyes and it sucks. If you cant even write the character well then how do you interest something heavy and work out the links? The only solution is yongjie dying i mean fucking off forever and hsing ssu not letting him into his lifeXni doubt we will get that but at the very least they cannot end up together and that will be their crowning fucking achievement over the waste of time bullshit plot this was. Imagine actual conflict that wasnt so deeply fucking traumatic and, oh, again WHERE ARE THE PARENTS? They fucked up SO FUCKING BADLY. This gives people the wrong idea about how these things work. God he is truly a shitty character and his ass isnt even fat so wtf bitch why am i here!

[unseelie-bitch]

Season 3 Episode 1: The Princess' Ball

Oh I am EXCITED for this

Oh god okay new shots in the intro include a well-dressed man who very much looks like a human version of Scarlemagne from Kipo. Gonna go out on a limb and assume he's the new antagonist

Musa's hair's longer!! Oh it's so cute

Okay who is this blue haired lady that keeps showing up in the intro she's clearly important but gives me villain vibes

Also loving the amount of ballgowns they're clearly going to wear this season

Stella's packing for a vacation, good start

Musa "wear whatever you have" is not advice Stella would EVER take come on

And why exactly is vacation way shorter this year? You can't just say that and expect me not to question it

I think Techna's voice actor has changed >:(

Layla and Musa aren't going home? Aww...

"Hitherus" iconic

KIKO

Oh nice one Layla

Oh no Stella's getting a sungram please tell me her parents aren't cancelling on her

Oh Stella's getting a princess ball! Also "back when they still had arranged marriages" implies that Sky actively proposed to Diaspro and they were actually dating so... what's the truth lover-boy?

Oh no her dad has a suprise announcement he thinks will make her happy? What's the bet he's either pulling her out of school or has found her a husband

Aww Stella's bringing the whole squad!!

"Approaching omega dimension" with ominous music... can I assume we're either going to see the Trix or fancyboy?

Oh they're delivering three prisoners... Icy? Darcy? Stormy?

"They say it's so cold down there it freezes your heart solid" well Icy won't exactly have an issue now will she

Yep it's the Trix

Okay so Icy just woke up with glowing eyes which is a whole thing but can we talk about their frozen expressions? They not only look afraid but in pain... when were they frozen? What happened to them? I hope they're okay

Well Icy's free

Icy I'm loving your monologue but do you want to maybe free your coven sisters

Oh no she's hoping her parents are getting back together honey no

Oh my god Icy freed Darcy and Stormy and they both immediately collapsed they look so exhausted I'm so worried for them

"Only the baddest of the bad get sent here, girls" "Nice! I bet they're talking about us at Cloud Tower" I cannot stress enough that these are not Big Bad Villains they're just teenagers who don't want to be forgotten and have been abused and manipulated please can they get redemption arcs

Oh ice-laser-breathing-snakes. Isn't that fun?

Stormy actually looked terrified oh no

Blue haired girl from the intro has made her entrance and she's a dick

Pizza man is not okay with this Stella Vs Mystery Girl fight in his shop

Sorry they're... what? Please tell me she didn't actually say "Betas" like it's a flex

Oh wow her friends have a song and dance. Isn't that lovely

Okay I was willing to accept Mystery Girl right up until she was a bitch to Flora now she's going down

Techna going "snap" to emphasise Stella's insult? Iconic. Especially since she did it better than the Betas

Musa's getting her hair spelled! Excited to see it longer

Bloom and Stella are alone <3

Virtual dresses? Excellent world building

Montage!!

The Beta bitch is going to steal Stella's dress isn't she

Yep there we go

HOW DARE YOU PUSH STELLA AND BLOOM OVER

The Trix are running from the snakes oh shit

IT FROZE STORMY'S MAGIC AND SHE LOOKED SO SCARED AGAIN NOOO

Icy actually called back to make sure Stormy knew where they were going! I'm so glad they all care about each other <3

Icy please stop enjoying the icy floor the others can't deal with this like you can

Love that Icy jumped then flew into the cavern while Darcy and Stormy just fell straight down

Again, Icy is fine and gets up straight away, Darcy is hurt and crouched down and Stormy is just straight up lying on the floor please look out for the non-icy witches Icy

Oh there's sir fancyboy. His name's Baltor and I believe I've vaguely heard it

He was sentenced to eternity?? Jesus. Also implies that they would have gotten the Trix out at some point which is interesting

"Frozen dude, blink once if you can see us" okay first of all Icy his name is Baltor and it is literally RIGHT in front of you, secondly he was sentenced to eternity do you really want to try and team up with that? Thirdly iconic line though I love her

Love that Stormy's like "what if we unfeeze this guy so the snakes can kill him and we can get away" and Icy immediately agrees. These girls are pro-murder but everyone has flaws and they're cute so

Darcy and Stormy protecting Icy's back while she's using her (clearly diminished) powers to unfreeze Baltor? Even though they know damn well there's nothing they can do against the snakes? Absolutely brilliant the Trix are such a strong group I love that they actaully love each other and will protect the others at all costs

Fully ran behind Baltor and shoved him into the snakes lol

OH SHIT BALTOR KILLED ALL THREE SNAKES WITH LIKE 0 EFFORT

He's so extra I love him

He was frozen and awake for 17 years... yikes

I didn't notice his stupid little beard until now yikes Baltor please shave it

Oh he cut Icy off this won't end well Darkar has taught her not to let anyone else take charge

Baltor being like "I have no idea what any of you can do and I know I'm powerful but we've been sentenced to the same place so you probably are too. Also I'm out numbered so Imma just let you do what you want... for now" is the smartest villain-play so far

Meanwhile Stella's still trying to get her dress from Beta bitch

"Tantrum Tirade" is Beta bitch's spell so she's clearly the epitome of 'daddy's little rich girl'. Just the Winx version of Veruca Salt. Clearly Beta is for the trustfund babies without talent. Yikes

We have a name lads: Chimera

OH NO HER SPELL IS MAKING A BASKET OF PUPPIES FALL FROM A HIGH BALCONY

Watch Stella lose the dress because she's a good fucking person and won't let the puppies die

OH THOSE DOGS ARE SO CUTE

Oh shit. She's "soon going to be the princess of solaria". Shit man. Stella's dad's marrying Chimera's mother isn't he. That's the news SHIT

The gate to Tides? Oh no Baltor and the Trix can't wreck Layla's home world :(

Baltor you little bitch you could have told them the gate was re-enforced BEFORE they tried to break it and got thrown backwards

Icy might want to show off but I love how Darcy and Stormy are like "bitch do NOT bring that snake back near us"

The teamwork lads. Icy redirecting the beam so Darcy and Stormy can break the barrier? Immaculate. Also I love how Icy has started calling them "ladies" I just think it's cute

Baltor's little hops are ridiculous

"I like your style" "Back at ya Baltor" Icy I can't believe you just WINKED please stop flirting your girlfriends are RIGHT THERE

Mermaid guards!!

Okay but for real, why do you even HAVE an omega dimension gate? Like, what was the purpose? Come on

Oh Baltor's enslaving the mermaids. Christ that was quick

"How do all these guys get minions?" "I don't know but we gotta get some too" says Stormy and Icy, ignoring the third member of the Trix who's primary power is MIND CONTROL (also the Trix are so cute I'm sorry they're just adorable)

Musa's long hair is WONDERFUL

Okay Stella's new dress is actually quite cute

Musa please don't ignore your boyfriend

Are we going to find out why Bloom and Sky fought or...?

Riven brought music for Musa oh my god I can't believe I'm starting to like him... but the growth... the development... HE'S ACTUALLY KINDA CUTE NOW SHIT

"Something's wrong with the ocean" no shit Layla there's a TIDAL WAVE

RIVEN JUST SAVED A TINY CHILD AWW

Layla saving the OTHER tiny child

Oh... bye Layla! Good luck fighting Baltor alone...

"You brand them, turn them into freaks and take their power? Very cool, Baltor..." Icy PLEASE I know you have a crush but come on

Baltor's electric guitar solo is peak